#they’re so lovely so magical they still make my heart turn into a cupcake | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

oneirataxiahiraeth · 4 years ago

Note

Can I request a Kai Parker smut when the reader is Bonnie's cousin and the reader sees through the things that Kai has done.

Dudeeee I actually had a this whole concept already in my drafts!!! Sorry it’s taken me a while, I’m a very indecisive person so this was written over and over again LMFAO

Pairings : Bennett!Reader X KaiParker

Warnings : angst., some more angst, angry Bonnie, Kai Slander, mentions of blood/violence/gore, mentions of murder, language, smut, not proof read

Requested : ;) I originally based this off of POV by Ariana Grande but I made some tweaks to it so yeah

Word Count : 7k

Your head was light and brain struggling to make any connections to the rest of your body. Your back rested against the dining room chair as you let whatever Jo fed to you get mushy in your mouth. Caroline had fed you some of her blood but your headache remained. Everything about today had went south and now everyone was just waiting on the edges of their chairs for something to happen and just wrap up the gift of shittiness to this very bad day. Unfortunately for you, you just so happened to be the fucking bow.

"I thought I told you to stay away from her!" Bonnie snapped in the living room at the brown haired siphon. You couldn't hear the arguments happening in the other room solely because you were too busy being coddled by Jo and Caroline to make sure you wouldn't be able to hear the scolding Kai was receiving in the other room.

Bonnie never saw what you did whenever she looked at him. In her mind, you were just another one of his victims. He couldn't have had any good intentions with you. Kai Parker never had good intentions of any kind. He's selfish, and evil, and cruel, and there's no way in hell she was going to let him keep ruining your life after what happened today. Everyone knew who he was and what he did, everyone saw how dangerous he could be... except you just refused to acknowledge it. Truthfully, she didn't know whether to direct all her anger at him for hurting you or put all her disappointment on you for letting it get this far.

"Bonnie I swear, it's not like that! I never meant to hurt her, it just happened and I couldn't control it-"

"I swear to god I will kill you right now, and I wouldn't even need magic to do it." She growled.

He couldn't understand what made her so angry. Obviously he never meant to siphon so much out of you, really he didn't mean to siphon you at all. He was just planning on telling from Bonnie and the bracelet you gave him with a bit of your magic in it for emergencies and hoped the whole spell would work out fine.

"It was an accident!"

"Like hell it was!" Everyone stood around... watching... waiting... hoping. Hoping he would step out of line just once so they could rip his head off. "Nothing with you is an accident, Kai!"

"I would never intentionally hurt her, Bonnie! Believe or not I'm still capable of human emotions!" He scoffed, nothing the vampires surrounding him ready to pounce at any given moment, and with his anger levels rising they were about to have a field day.

"Of course you would, Kai! You hurt everyone who's close with you! Whether it's literally or metaphorically you always find a reason that benefits you, that justifies you hurting someone else! That's just who you are! You want nothing good with her, Kai! She's a good person, just leave her alone!" Bonnie growled, but Kai wasn't going to give in so easily.

"I've changed, Bonnie!"

"Changed into what? An even better liar? Because for an actual second there, Kai, I really believe you stayed in mystic falls just to live the life you never got to!" She fired.

"That's-"

"You know, if you wanted to make us even considering liking you, you should've moved. Far, far away from here, somewhere where you can't fucked up our lives enough for us to continue to have another fucking reason to hate you!" His shoulders dropped, hurting filling him to the brim. Usually he wouldn't let things like words get to him. She was upset with him, people say things they don't mean when they're upset... only she would've said this even in her happiest moments of life. She did hate him, and she had every reason to.

"She makes me a better person- When I'm I'm with her I want to be a better Person, Bon!" He defended himself. He knew the real reason he was with her, to him it was quite obvious. She made him feel as though the world wasn't out to get him. She could stop a nightmare before it even began with just a breathing the way she does. She made the best cupcakes, even though her cooking skills were mediocre, magic could fix everything. She made him smile without even doing anything just from the warm giddy feeling in his body when he's around her. Y/N Bennett... she was the only person to exist to make Malachi Parker feel like he deserved to live.

"Bullshit! You're just using her-"

"It isn't like that!" He snapped, causing the argument to halt for a few seconds.

"Really? Then tell me, Kai. What is it? Is it because she's my cousin? Is that why you're interested in her? To get back at me in your own disgusting twisted way? Or is it because of the blood? I bet her Bennett blood would come in real handy just in case-"

"No! I wouldn't do that to her-"

"Or is it because you're just so desperate for someone who actually feels like a friend that you decided to keep her around? Hmm? Maybe it's because after 18 years holed up in that prison word, you finally came to the realization that there is no possible way you could ever be loved. That you deserve to be alone for the rest of eternity. But all of a sudden, here she is, Precious y/n Bennet, the only person who is willingly to search for even a shred of good in you!" She spat. Everyone around watching guards fell as the watched Kai slowly become less tense. His shoulders falling slowly, the will the defend himself leaving his body along with his will to live, embarrassment and anger rushing through his veins, but a small part of him kept him in the room and not on his way back to his apartment. "Let me tell you something, Kai. Maybe this you can finally get it through your head." Bonnie feeling confident enough to take a step towards the stunned looking Siphon. "Not even a Bennett witch is strong enough to fix the broken, unlovable, vile person you really are. And if you truly, by some fucking miracle have a beating heart in your chest, if you've actually let her change you for the better, then you know she's better off without you. We both know that you don't deserve her in any way, shape, or form... so just let her go. Find someone else to ruin and leave her alone."

It felt as if all the oxygen in his body had left. His heart stopped pumping blood through his veins, and slowly and painfully he felt as if he was desiccating on the insides. He hadn't even noticed the tear that had escaped while he was being scolded.

Both you and Jos head turn as you hear a muffled scream that sounded like it came from Bonnie. You tried to stand by Jo eased you back down, shaking her head as if everything was all right. You couldn't hear much of the conversation going on in the other room, but you knew if it was enough to make Bonnie angry then it was never good. And Bonnie in their with Kai... was enough to make her wanna take out the entire town of Mystic Falls.

"I feel fine Jo, I'm good." You reassure her, standing on your own again against her advice.

She knew what was going on in there... they've been going at it since before you even regained consciousness. She wasn't worried about you not being able to stand on your own, she was worried about you overbearing the heavy conversation happening in the other room.

"Maybe we should head to a clinic or something, you did hit your head pretty hard!" She tries quickly but you shaking your head.

"Caroline gave me her blood, I'll be fine." You responded, looking to the blood who seemed to be in total shock and not at all paying attention to either of you. "I think I'm just going go home and sleep, promise I won't do anything to crazy." You sent Jo a soft smile, tilting your head at Caroline in confusion but ultimately ignored it. Maybe it was some weird vampire sensory thing.

"You should take the back door!" Jo tried again, just to keep you from walking back into the living room.

"I would..." you narrowed your eyes at the dark haired doctor. "But my keys are by the front door." You spoke, walking towards the living room before Jo could make any more excuses. You caught on fast, but really you did just want to go home.

"Wait No-" Jo stood quickly, Caroline finally snapping back into consciousness. By the time she could truly think, you were already walking through the doors leading into the living room. There was still a bit of your blood on the carpet, you knew Damon was going to bitch about that later so you figured you get out why you still could.

Well... that's what you were planning to do before you stopped just to notice all of the eyes planted on you. You first assumed that it was just them just surprised at your speedy recovery... but the tear running down your boyfriends cheek made you rethink a bit. Kai never cried. No matter what or ho he was feeling, there was not a thing in this world that he would ever let get to him. Maybe he was just so worn out from the spell too that he didn't even feel himself tearing up. The whole room felt tense, and even Jo and Caroline looked like this in the Kitchen.

"What's going on?" You felt your own body tense a bit as Kai's eyes fell down to the floor.

"nothin'" Kai mumbled, voice shaky. Your eyes narrowed with obvious disbelief. His voice was kind of small, and he couldn't even look at you. He had so many thoughts racing through his head he had no idea what to do.

"Why don't i believe that..." you spoke, mostly to yourself. "I was just about to head home." You mentioned wearily. "Are you coming or are you just gonna stand there awkwardly?" You asked, half joking and half wanting to know what had him so actually upset.

"Uhm," he spoke looking back up, eyes immediately attracted to Bonnie before looking back to you. He felt her glare burning into the side of his head, her whole rant repeating itself in his mind over and over again. "Yeah, yeah, I'll drive." He nodded, turning around just so he wouldn't have to look at you again. Before he could walk, Bonnie had grabbed his arm. Rather tightly, and oddly to be honest. She usually avoided any sort of interaction with him, so even an arm touch was a weird sight to you.

All she sent was a simple look that seem to have him shaken down to his boots before she let him go. Her eyes falling back to you. She sent a smile, before just walking away. Not a word. Just silence. It was weird, no one else had much to say either, just weird looks on their faces and more silence to give. You ignored them though, just wanting to get home.

"Uhm, okay." You responded to the silence, shaking out the bad feeling from your mind before walking through the living room. You grabbed you jacket off the couch before walking over to Kai. You reached your hand up to touch his arm but he shrugged you off, walking towards the front door without even look at you. Was he mad? What could he possibly have been mad at you for?

You pretended to not noticed the coldness and just follow after him out the door. He got into the car, barely even waiting until your door was fully closed before taking off out of the driveway. He needed to get you home. To stop himself from doing the right thing and letting you go because he didn't want that. He wanted you, for as long as he could manage to keep you in his grasp. It was selfish of him, but everyone already knew what he was like so he didn't really care. He's happy with you. Happy with his life with you. Happy with his life around you. Happy with himself with you.... why in hell would he ever give you up?

Bonnie was right though, letting you go wasn't about his happiness. It was about yours. And as selfish as he was, your happiness would always come above his own. He made sure of that everyday. He didn't eat until you did, he took shorter showers so you could have more hot water, or he'd just wait until you were done and take whatever was left. You wanted- deserved a life without him and all the despair and pain that follows him around. You didn't deserve to be woken up in the middle of the night because he was restless. You didn't deserve to be distanced from all your friends just because you liked him. If living the best life you could meant leaving him behind, he was fine with that. He was fine with that for you. He was fine with you being happy even if it meant he would've been miserable for the remainder of his life.

"Kai, you need to slow down!" You spoke up, hand moving to his thigh as you noticed his hand clutching the wheel so tightly. "Your going 70 in a 35" it was late and no one was out on the streets, he didn't care how fast he was going.

"It's fine, y/n." He muttered, eyes not leaving the road. There were no deer out in this time of the year, there was no danger of hitting much of anything.

"No, Kai, it's dangerous." You responded, "slow down, please."

"No." He needed to get you home. If he slowed down, that gave you more time to talk. More time for him to think, more reasons to flood his brain on why you were better off without him.

"No? Kai, come on, seriously you need to slow down." You scoffed, not amused by his resistance. "I'd rather not die in a car crash before I'm old enough to run for president."

"Could you stop talking? Like just for a moment!" He huffed.

"Wha- I- no! What the hell is wrong with you? Slow the car down, Kai!" His eyes rolled, momentarily forgetting just how persistent you could be. "Kai!" Your hand moving from his thigh as you contemplated jumping out of the car just to see what he would do. Maybe after you break probably every bone in your body he'll slow the fucking car down. "Stop the damn car." You spoke but he ignored you, hoping you would just stop talking to him.

Instead of you stopping with the chat, he felt himself stomping on the break as your seatbelt came undone. Your body moving forward fast, colliding with the dashboard, and knocking the absolute wind out of you. He unbuckles his seat belt quickly, looking over to you. You were fine, your boobs not so much, but it wasn't unbearable. You let out a deep throaty couch, opening your car door. You only unbuckled your seat belt to get him to slow down, put the fear in him that you were going to jump out.

Well... it sort of worked.

"Y/N, what the hell?!" He growled, following you out the car. You were leaned onto the car trying to get some air into your king as the adrenaline started releasing through your body. "What the hell were you going to do? Jump out of the fucking car because I was got a few miles over? You could've gotten hurt! Hurt worse the just hitting the dashboard! What if another car was coming? You could've gotten ran over, and killed! Then you'd wake up with a craving for an AB positive juice box!" He scolded you as if you were a child.

"I wasn't actually going to jump out, asshole! I just wanted you to slow the damn car down! And if you would've done it, instead of being a dick then we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

He mumbled something under his breath that you couldn't quite make out and you finally managed to stand straight again. "Are you okay?" He sighed.

"Are you?" You shrugged. "You haven't looked at me since we left the house, you won't talk to me, practically told me to shut the fuck up, and then you yell at me like I'm kid."

"I didn't mean to yell at you. I just didn't want you to get hurt." He frowned a bit.

"I'm fine. But I'm not getting back in that car." You spoke.

"What? Why?"

"Tell me what Bonnie said to you that has you so upset." You demanded, his heart pausing for only a moment as you stated into his soul.

"What?"

"I might be a little be slower at picking up on the clues but I'm not stupid. What did she say that has you so deathly terrified to even look at me?" You asked. "Did she put a spell on you or something-"

"No, it's nothing, y/n, just drop it and let's get back." He shook his head.

"If it was nothing then you wouldn't mind telling me."

"It's none of your business."

"Seeing as your my boyfriend and she's my family, in some weird way, whatever beef you two have is my business."

"Leave it alone."

"No" You shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest even though it hurt a bit.

He wanted to yell, but he knees you still wouldn't give up. He didn't understand how you could be so annoyingly persistent still after he's shot you down so many times. It was like you knew you were getting under his skin yet you kept digging. Purposely trying to draw out some reaction just for your own amusement.

"Why don't you give up?" He groaned. "Why do you even care? Why can you stand there and look at me like that with no guilt at all?!" His foot colliding with the car tire. He hated how much every fiber of his being was pushing him to do the right thing for once. "How can you stand there knowing everything I've done and still sleep in a bed with me? Do you not care?" He wanted to stop but nothing was letting him.

"What're talking about?"

"I killed people! My own family, y/n! I hurt Bonnie! I hurt Damon! I hurt Elena, and then just because I thought you were pretty I hurt you too! And still, you refuse to see any of my faults in actions that I take pride in!" He yelled finally. It didn't phase you. You encourage him to let any emotions he was feeling out all the time. He was angry right now, and you were fine just seeing how angry he really was.

"You're not that person anymore, that's why. I trust you."

"Well you shouldn't." He shook his head. "I will always be that person!"

"You may feel like that person but your not!" You defend him against himself. "You've made a lot of progress, you know that. And I could sit here and dwell on the shit you've done in the past but if I did that to everyone, I'd have no one." You sighed, not understanding why he was bringing any of this up. What did Bonnie say to him?

"I left Bonnie in a prison world to die!"

"And you helped me get her back!"

"I tortured your best friend!"

"You wouldn't be the first-"

"Stop doing that!"

"What?"

"Making excuses for me! There are none! I'm a bad person, y/n! You aren't, this whole 'fix me' doll relationship isn't going to last because of that! Because you deserve better than me! And if I let this go any further, then that means I haven't changed. I'm not better than I was, I've just had you to keep me from making any stupid decisions-"

"Kai stop-"

"-and one day you're going to realize that this was all a mistake. That maybe there isn't something that can be redeemed in my cold unloveable heart. And when that day comes, I'd rather not wake up and see the pure and utter hatred you've developed for me just like the rest of the people in my life."

You felt your lungs stop filling with air. It was hard to get any in, you were just breathless. How were you suppose to breathe after that? Now you had a decent idea of what that conversation he had with Bonnie was.

"No. You don't get to do that, you can't push me away. I'm not here because your a chore Kai, I care about you, and I want to be with you-"

"Do you seriously have no respect for yourself?!"

"Do you?!"

"No! Because all my respect goes to you! Everything I have goes to you! And because I respect you, and because you are literally the only thing on earth that I actually truly care about I have to do this-"

"No you don't-"

"I'm br-"

"No your not!" You groaned, covering you ears as if that would effect the outcome of this situation.

"Stop being so stubborn."

"Kiss me."

"No,"

"Just do it, Kai! Kiss me, and we can make up and forget this whole conversation!"

"How can you seriously fucking stand there and act like I'm not going to ruin your life. I murdered my own siblings in cold blood. And I'd do it again, y/n. I don't feel bad, I never felt bad. I've done so many bad things and your standing here looking at me like I'm a fucking Saint who deserves the happiness you give!"

You remained silent.

"Is that what you want? To see how bad I can be? To wait for the day where you can see Malachi Parker in action? Be there when he finally breaks?! Again!" He scoffed and you shook your head, but no word escaped. "You know what" his eyes set on you, desperate to make you see what everyone else sees when they look at him. "Maybe i can get to your head, if I let you in mine." He spoke walking to you, hands on your temples before you could even move.

You tried to break from him hold be you weren't nearly as strong as he was. He was mumbling something under his breath and soon your whole body became numb. Your mouth feel open as you let out groans of pain as bloody images fill your head, and guilt and remorse and hurt filled your heart. Screams and cries ringing in your mind, but none you've ever heard before. People you've never seen crying, and struggling to run from you. Only it wasn't you they were running from. It was Kai.

His memories flooded your brain all at the same time. You had no idea had to process everything you were seeing. All the pain in your chest amplifying somehow with a deeper emotional pain. But most of that wasn't yours either. It was his too. Loneliness and Exhaustion. Hate and Longing. It was overwhelming along with the pictures and sounds running amok in your head. Soon pictures of Bonnie had flashed through your mind, and Jo, and Damon. Blood, and more blood, nothing wasn't covered in blood, and with every passing second the pain in your chest worsened. Cries of his name, and blood curdling screams filling your head, some of which belonged to you. That was when you felt the worse pain. Hearing your own screams caused a panic, and seeing your own body covered in blood, watching your body fall just earlier as your head collided with the end table. Sheer panic and anguish for some reason. But the last image to intrude your thoughts seemed like a not so distant memory of his. One of you. Even if your head wasn't being taken over you wouldn't have remembered because in this moment he wasn't with you. He was sitting across the grill watching you dunked your fries into a strawberry milkshake with a huge smile on your face in front of your friends. You seemed happy, and it was like you were witnessing someone come back to life. First grief hit you hard, then relief and joy, and then reality set in and it was like you realized that it was all just dream and that person was still dead and never coming back and you were never going to be happy again.

He tore his hands away from you, allow you to steal in some oxygen and you went dizzy, using the car for support so you wouldn't collapse on the ground. Your chest heaving as you tried to reel in your mind what you just saw, what you felt, what you heard. All of his memories. All of the bad things he's ever done, or things he would consider to be bad. But in his mind, it was only reason that you would probably be more inclined to leave him for.

Through every memories you were overwhelmed with emotions. Whatever you could feel you felt. You didn't know which emotions were yours or his. You couldn't separate the feelings. But in some weird way you could tell that the pain and anguish churning in your gut was his. You didn't know his family well enough to have regrets, or remorse... that was all him. All the fronts he put up... all those emotions exposed everything.

"Get in the car." He spoke softly, helping you off the car so he could open the door. "You don't need to say anything, I'm taking you home and then I'll be gone." He spoke as if he knew that you wanted to be nowhere near him.

Instead, you just wanted to give him a hug. That gut wrenching pain he felt still lingering within your body. Tears streaming down your cheeks but not because of what you saw, but how he felt. Every one of your friends have done things of equal evil status. Judging him for things he obviously did regret and feel everyday wouldn't be fair to him. And whether you felt like that because you wanted to be fair or because you were in love with him was a mystery to even you.

You didn't speak, you just sat in the car staring ahead of you. Trying to determine how you really truly felt. Why was him seeing you so bad that he felt he needed to include that memory in his mind torture. You barely felt time move as he flew down the road at the same speed as before. When he parked in front of the apartment the two of you shared, he decided he would just stay out and drive all night. He didn't know where to go. He knew you probably wouldn't want him around. You stared blankly at the red bricked building with the dim lights hanging from the walls.

"Y/N." He spoke softly, not wanting to look at the tears running down your cheeks.

"Kai." You returned, voice soft and brittle unaware of how vulnerable you sounded to him. "Why do you consider meeting me a bad thing?" You asked, not a single other word coming to mind.

"I don't regret meeting you. I regret putting you in this position in the first place. And if I didn't insert myself into your life then-"

"Then you wouldn't be breaking up with me on the side of the road. Leaving me alone to spend the rest of my life wondering what I did wrong to push you away. To wonder why my love wasn't good enough reassurance-" you rambled not sure why everything was coming out of your lips.

"then you wouldn't be crying right now. Then you could've avoided all of this." He sighed in response. He hated when you cried, if it was anyone else it would've been annoying. Your tears always were the one thing that could truly break him into pieces. "When I met you... when I met you, I was so sure that you were just going to ignore me or hate my guts. I fucking left your friend in a prison world to die, y/n. I tortured you, yet you still see me as someone who's able to be redeemed. You SAW what I did, and your still defending me!" His own tears starting to pool. "I d-don't want you to hate me... and I don't want to do this... but I do want to be happy and I don't think you could ever really do that until I'm out of your life." You silently shook your head as you tried not to let your own tears keep falling. Your heart clenching in your chest, breathing getting harder to achieve.

You didn't speak.

You couldn't.

Pain hitting you harder as each second passed. You didn't know how to respond to be truthful so you just unbuckle your seat belt. You sniffled, waking the tears from you cheeks only to has fresh one replace the one you wiped away. Kai still refused to look at you, maybe you finally did she was shitty person her was. And how stupid you were for being with him. You opened the door, getting out quickly hoping he follow you but he didn't. You were still a bit dizzy from him flooding his memories through your head. You're steps were slow and wobbly and you were bound to fall in seconds but you just kept moving. To any who didn't know what you've just been through, you were just so drunk sorority girl trying to make it to the door.

Kai watched you struggled for a second, knowing you could hold your own, but he didn't want you to. He got out of the car, not even caring about locking it behind himself. His feet carried the rest him over to you. Almost as if his body was acting on instinct to help you. His arm wrapped around you, your sweet scent immediately wafting into his nose causing a tear to slip down his cheek. He ignored it, helping you, and you just let him. You didn't feel like fighting. You just wanted his touch on your skin, so you allowed him to help you.

Many thoughts flooded your head. He was as bad as everyone said he was. But you he'd never hurt you, in any way. He wouldn't hurt anyone else because that would hurt you. He was good because he wanted to be, but only for you. No one else has ever really given him good enough reason to be good. You knew he wasn't the same person that he was, and tonight just cleared it all up. It didn't stop you from loving him. It just gave you all the more reason to. You've seen your best friends do worst than him, who were you to cash him out for something he's going to feel his entire life?

You didn't speak the entire way to your front door. He unlocked the door for you, hoping you would just be able to walk and get some rest on the couch or something.

You had other plans.

You stood straight on your own, looking back to the brown haired siphon who realized he was just fooled into a trap. Your hands reached for his, taking his hand in yours quickly before he could walk away.

"Y/n, please, it's easier this way just let me go-"

"You showed me your worst moment so I want to show you my best." You spoke. Eyes dead set on his, hands gripping each other's, neither one of you wanting to let each other go. "Please." You let out a small breath.

"This is going to make it a lot harder-"

"That's the point, Malachi." You sniffle, holding in a tiny laugh.

"Okay." He whispered, preparing himself for the rush of emotions and memories flooding through his head like he did to you. You pulled your hands from his, placing them on each of his temple before beginning the spell.

It wasn't long before he felt your presence in his mind, his on thoughts being taken over with your own thoughts. At first it was a horrible feeling watching every time you were happy, knowing he was never going to be able to see that from you again. Not if he kept his promise. He wouldn't to push you away, his chest light and full with joy and a love so over it was almost crushing. He watched as memories of times you spent with him. From your first date, to that one joke he cracked the made you laugh when he first kidnapped you just to torture you for practice. He watched as he teased you, to the first time the two of you had sex, to the first I love yous, and he felt how warm inside it made you at the fact that he never over used the words. You knew he loved you even when he didn't physically say those words. You felt his love every time you were around him, and that was enough for you.

He felt a soft smile forming on his lips but he could tell if it was from your happiness or knowing how much he really meant to you. Memories of late night cries, and arguments ending in angry sex, and sneaking out of classes, and talking trash about your friends even though you would never said something too horrible about them.

You liked who you were with him. You loved who you were. And he felt all of that, he felt how much love you held for him, how much pain you were in to think about him leaving. And eventually that strong happy, lovely, calm feeling was stripped away from him, leaving him empty for a moment before he felt you hands against his cheeks.

You were holding his face, staring straight into his eyes, both of you almost to the point of sobs. You were praying to god that you're plan worked. The hell were you going to do if it didn't?

"Don't leave me, Kai."

"Y/N-"

"I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, Kai. Let me love you, please." You pleaded, bodies moving closer together without each other even realizing. It was natural for you to be close with him, you never questioned it.

He didn't want to say no. But he owed it to you to say no.

"You saw what I did-"

"And you saw how much I love you-"

"You watched in first person how I killed four of my siblings-"

"And you watched from my point of view how badly I fell in love with you."

You just wanted to kiss and make up. You would fall apart if he left you alone. Especially if he was doing it for your own 'happiness' because that meant he thought you weren't happy with him. It was upsetting and slightly insulting, because you were the happiest you've ever been with him.

"I just want to do the right thing, baby." He whimpered quietly, you're heart nearly breaking in a million pieces. His tearing streaming quickly, mentally slapping himself for being so weak for you.

"Then stay... stay and make me the happiest person in the entire world. We could graduate together and get a small house in the suburbs, or- or we could leave. Right now. Travel all across the world, experiencing so many different things together." You offered meaning every word.

At some point in the silence that seemed to last for forever, one of you couldn't take it anymore. You didn't care to pay attention which one of you, but your lips connected, smooshing your faces together to be as close as possible. Tears mixing on each other's cheeks, his hands down on your waist pulling you closer into him as you both made you're way inside your shared home.

He used his foot to kick the door closed, being careful to touch you oh so gently. You were a fragile peace of glass to him, the most beautiful sculpture who had no business being with him. He did nothing to deserve you, yet you felt he deserved you more than anyone in the world. You wasted so many years on him tonight, and for some reason you didn't care anymore. He was here, he was on you, his hands, his lips, your minds in sync for each and every single one of your next moves.

Clothes slowly being tossed the the floor as you both backed each other to your bedroom through the dark apartment. By the time you reached the bed the only thing you had left were you bra and underwear, along with his shirt and boxers. Neither of you had even bothered to pull apart for a single breath. You allowed him to gently lower you on the poorly made bed.

"Mmh, w-wait-" he mumbled against your lips. Youre legs parting for him to slip between which he did without thinking. "This is wrong-"

"No, it's not?" You spoke in confusion. "I love you, Kai. I don't care what Bonnie said, because she doesn't know what this feels like." You shake your head.

"Find someone else to ruin and let her go" Kai quoted, your grip on him tightening. "I don't want to-"

"Maybe I want you to ruin me. To fuck up my life. To fuck up my morals just because I love you. I want that, Kai. I want every bit of it. I want this love that consumes me from the inside out, and I want to be able to go against everything I believe for you. I. Love. You." His hands traveling down your waist, as you let out a sigh.

"I love you." He mumbled. "I love you so fucking much." His lips came down on your collarbone, fingers slipping under you panties waistbands before snapping his fingers to get rid of them. You felt the cold air against your slick heat, the warmth from his own body radiating into yours. His hips grinding down into your, his hardon pressing into you causing a light whimpering as you felt the butterflies raging into the pair of your stomach.

"I just wanna be with you, baby." You let out a soft moan, urging him on as he nips and sucked red marks onto your skin.

You used your own magic to undo the threads of his plain blue shirt as you dragged your hand down his back. The fabric slipping down his arms which he didn't mind. He was too focus on your warm skin under his tongue. His teeth grazing across your skin, coming closed with a tiny pinch every time. Your chest heaving into his from the closeness, and heat of it all.

"Tell me to stop” he mumbled against your skin, hips grinding into your heat as you let out needy moans.

“I need you, Kai, please.” Your lip caught in between your teeth, as the cloth of his underwear separating the two of you disappeared. “I want you so bad.” You whined, fingers digging into the soft warm skin on his back.

You felt his hard on slipping between your slick folds as he rocked his hips back and forth. He wanted to feel you, he wanted you to feel him. He never wanted to leave your side, or go a moment without feeling your warmth. He loved you with every fiber of his being, and there was no possible way he could truly explain that to you.

“Please-” you pleaded before he slowly pushed himself into you. Your mouth hung open as his length filled you to the brim, the tip of his cock hitting that hot spongy spot in your cunt so well you could help but moan. He always did fill you up perfectly, almost as if he was made for you or vice versa. “Oh my god.” You whined, hips grinding into his as his hips set a steady pace.

Your legs resting around his waist, as you let out small breathy moans. He was fucking into you hard, but it still felt amazing. He wanted to take his time with you and you felt it. Your body tingling, mind focused solely on him and everywhere your skin touched his. You felt his lips connected with you neck, continuing to suck soft bruised on the skin, placing a soft kiss after each one whispering a single ‘I love you’ each time. His hands left your waist, traveling up your beautiful naked body, taking all the warmth he could, until he traced your hands to his back. He pulled the off, even though he enjoying the sting of your nails digging into his skin, pinning your hands down above you head. His hands flat onto of yours, fingers intertwining as his lips found yours again, your kisses sloppy and slow. The sound of skin on skin filling the room as his pace quickened earning louder breathier moans from your pretty little mouth.

You felt a bubbling heat in the pit of your stomach signaling you were close to your high. Eyes struggling to sty open, as your boyfriend fucked into you so lovingly. It became harder to do anything other than focus on the feeling of him hitting so deep into you he’s almost hit your cervix. The kisses became harder to return and nothing but the sound of you filled the room. He watched in complete awe as you as you slowly began to fall apart. You were the most beautiful creatures he’s ever laid his eyes on, and he had you here underneath him on your way to this euphoric high that he him caused. His name coming out of your mouth in quiet moans and pleads and warning of you about to explode all over his dick. You were all he’s ever wanted out of life, and now he had you and there was no one and nothing that would take you away from him except for death itself.

You were his and that was final.

“Open your eyes baby, look at me.” He groaned as he felt your cunt convulsing around him so tightly.

You struggled with the actions, your eyes focusing on his eyes as you cried out in pleasure. “I’m so close, Kai, fuck, I’m going to cum.” You whined and he nodded watching as your breathing got heavier.

“Cum for me, baby, cum all over me.” He urged you on, feeling his own high approaching.

You felt something inside you explode, a loud moan his name escaping your lips, all your juices spilling onto his hard cock a he continued fucking you through your high. You body jolting and shaking around him, as he went faster, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you realizing you weren’t done yet.

“So close.” He mumbled, hands squeezing your so tightly you felt as if they were going to break. You ignored the pain of having your hard crush and just let out absorber moan from another orgasm building quickly.

“M’gonna c-cum again!” You warned, strained voice loud and needy.

“Me too baby” Kai moaned back, watching your eyes squeeze shut again taking in the way your body shook around him. “Let go y/n, I know you want to.” He spoke out of breath.

You felt his thrust getting sloppily, but he tried keeping up the pace. His own body stiffening as his cock twitch in you as you clenched around him again. Both of your falling apart with loud moans, and whimpering of each other names, lips coming together again as he spilt every last bit of his hot cum into your beautifully worn out cunt.

Neither of you spoke any words. Just your reveled in each other’s tongues, allowed you naked bodies to somehow merge into one. You felt a sudden tiredness take over you as it did the same to him.

“I don’t want to let you go.” He whispered into your lips.

“Then don’t. Let’s stay this way forever.” You hummed, squeezing his hands in yours.

“Deal.”

#wattpad #aesthetic #teaser #the cw legacies #vampire diaries #damon salvatore #kai parker smut #stefan salvatore #malachi parker #kai x reader #kai parker #cobrakai1972

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saphirered · 3 years ago

Note

Hi welcome back! Hope you’re doing well. Random question b4 my request, bc I want to give back as thanks for the great writing: are you a coffee, tea, or hot chocolate/cocoa drinker? I prefer hot chocolate and sweet tea.

How would the m9 respond to an SO/friend with a kid? Where the reader is a single parent with a child of at most 10 years old. Thanks :)

- 🐋

This took a while to write so sorry for that 😅. I'm so glad you like my writing! I love writing for you lot. I'm definitely a hot cocoa person. I hope this one turned out to your liking 😘.

----------

Caleb:

You never hid the fact you had a child from Caleb, if anything you’re proud of them. Though, you do know in certain company it’s better to keep that fact a secret for safety reasons. Caleb understands that fully he respects and admires you always put your child’s best interests first.

This is why when you began getting more involved with Caleb you kept your child out of it and took a good amount of time before introducing them to the wizard. You didn’t want to set expectations for both sides and wanted to protect and preserve them both should what you and Caleb had going not work out after all.

It’s no surprise Caleb is good with children. He takes a gentle approach when it comes to all things good in this world to the point of almost being afraid to ‘ruin it’. You assured him many times he was in the clear and how could his heart not warm at the curiosity and search for knowledge your child was already displaying.

With your permission Caleb began teaching your child some things here and there. The theoretics of magic and eventually simple spells. The smile it brought to their faces while they worked couldn’t make you happier. Caleb definitely earned your child’s approval to stick around.

Beau:

At first Beau is surprised. She knows children come from somewhere of course. She’s not stupid but actually tying a child to their parent let alone being very close to that parent is a whole new story. Especially learning you raised your child on your own and seeing you want to provide what’s best for them definitely earns you her respect, not having a parent with the same motivation herself and all.

The day of introductions came along and as expected Beau is the most awkward, trying not to be a terrible influence and be on her best behaviour, makes her very much on edge. An perceptive child picking up on this awkward behaviour calling her out leaving her cursing like a sailor, then apologising for said curses, even less of a surprise. You had to assure her many times it was fine.

Beau makes a promise that no matter what, she’ll make sure you’ll be returning to your child and make sure they get the love and support they deserve. Growing up without loving parents is one thing. Growing up an orphan another. She’d do everything in her power to keep you safe.

It may have began with joking comments such as ‘finish your homework’ to ‘do the dishes’ and ‘be nice to your parent while I’m gone’ but it didn’t take long before Beau was helping them with their homework or cleaning dishes after you cooked.

Absolutely treats your child as someone capable of making decisions of their own and speaking for themselves. No baby voices or cooing like too many adults tend to do even to a child regardless of their age. Your child has thoughts and opinions of their own and for the love of all that is sacred, can speak for themselves. You’re glad Beau treats them with a sense of maturity.

Fjord:

Fjord may have done what can only be referred to as a spit take the moment you said you had a child. Clearly didn’t expect it but giving him time to recover and process he’d ask all sorts of questions. What are they like? What do they like? And of course the dreaded question about your partner.

Supportive Fjord for the win. After finding out you’re on your own he’d always have your back, checking in with you and making sure you’re doing alright amidst the stress of the world and raising a child in the mix of it all. He’d open up to you about his past and being raised without any kind of proper parental figure. What he wouldn’t have done to have someone like you around when it counted for him.

Introducing them went rather smoothly. Fjord is surprisingly good with children. While some might find him intimidating, he nearly melted when your child embraced him as a thank you for looking out for you. Fjord was happy to answer any and all questions your child asked.

Whenever you’d be swept away for a while having to leave your child in the care of your trusted ones, Fjord would tell your child to ‘have the wheel, sailor’ which they would return with a salute before biding you both goodbye. Fjord slowly transcended into a bit of a father role and none of you minded in the least. You were happy.

Veth:

When she spoke of her boy she left behind you pitied her. A child shouldn’t be without their family. They deserved to be loved and sheltered from the darkness of the world until they are ready. When you told her you had one of your own Veth really felt safe to confide in you with her worries and troubles. You bonded over it really, drowning out all the sad stories and struggles with fond memories of both your families. Sadly for you, that would only extend to you and your child, the memories of their other parent perhaps somewhat painful to share.

You wondered what it would be like if your children ever got to meet in person. Then the day came. Nicodranas really had a way of bringing families together didn’t it? First time may have been a bit strange, your child being fully aware of Veth’s need for a disguise with her son, played their part well. Both you and Veth may have wiped away some tears when Luc claimed your child their big sibling from now on, and you his third parent.

Work and life are a difficult combination for Veth. She wants nothing more than to be with Yeza and take care of her boy but as long as the world’s in peril and her other family needs her just as much if not more, she’ll have to leave them behind. Knowing that you and your child are with her husband and son when she can’t be eases her mind a lot and she’s forever grateful.

It goes unsaid that Veth’s time away from children and in the presence of adults, specifically the Mighty Nein may have left her a bit out of the routines of raising a child as shown by giving Luc and your child fireworks, promising them to teach them how to shoot a crossbow and more. You did have to hold her back a little with the help of Yeza and keep things a bit more contained for their safety, but mostly yours.

Jester:

Of course upon learning you’re raising your child all by yourself Jester goes onto a rant about how her and her mom were always alone and how Marion used to read stories to her and do you read stories to your child and do you sing to them and draw with them and give them hugs and cuddles after nightmares and… You have no idea how that girl doesn’t run out of breath.

Jester couldn’t be anyone but herself when meeting your child asking about their interests, do they like to draw and sing and dance and… You ran out of breath just listening to her talk and your child replying in similar fashion. Everything went quite well and the two of them got along. Jester would be singing them songs and teaching them how to draw resulting in many dick drawings randomly appearing in your books, notes and other places, followed by mischievous giggles.

Having bought your child a lovely green cloak and letting them pretend they’re the Traveler here to spread mischief and fun and leave behind many phallic shaped objects drawn and carved wherever possible sent you all in laughing fits but you swore you heard a more masculine chuckle and saw a green cloak fade into the shadows. Odd.

What only can be summed up as the combination between big sibling, fun wine cupcake aunt and mom, remained a constant in your life and you couldn’t be more thankful to have that ray of sunshine be there for all of you.

Caduceus:

Caduceus is very calm and collected about learning you have a child. Less of a response than perhaps anyone else perviously unknowing. “That’s nice.” He’d nod. You’d almost start thinking he may have been able to read it off you for some reason. He confirmed he was, the tired eyes, and the recovery of exasperation at times but sense of accomplishment and reward was a look he had seen from his own mother many times.

“You’re weird.” A stare down ensued. “You’re weird too.” Eyes sharpened. “I like you.” The ice broke and smiles followed. For a moment you were afraid that maybe your child wouldn’t like the odd firbolg and thinking about how you would keep friends and family separate but a wave of relief went over you knowing that all was well between the two most valuable people in your life.

You’d be handed a fresh cup of tea by your child, a plate of snacks by Caduceus, all too innocent smiles on their faces but all it took was a raised eyebrow from you to have them come clean about the kitchen being covered in soil from the two of them potting new plants, turning your home and garden in what can only be described as a greenhouse and rather ask for forgiveness than permission. You weren’t mad of course, but did make them clean the mess they made.

You’re still unsure whether or not it was a good or bad idea introducing your child to the extended Clay family as you got some insight in the chaotic prank wars between the siblings and all together sibling rivalry among some of them. It’s all fun and games of course but some moments you were glad you weren’t the one pelted with mud pies by Calliope or pushed into the spring by Calliope herself. Instead you could just enjoy Clarabelle’s bug collection with your child while laughing at the other’s being covered in mud and soaked to the bone.

Yasha:

Poor Yasha doesn’t recall much of a family. In reality she never really felt like she had one until the circus, and after them the Nein. When she saw you and your child together, the unconditional love you had for each other, she felt like she finally realised what she had been missing, and something she perhaps would never have. She learned the value of such a relationship.

Yasha has no idea how to interact with children at any level and by default tends to treat them as either adults, or cute animals. No in between. It took her some time to get the hang of it but you couldn’t deny both you and your child rather enjoyed the unconventional relationship.

The wastes and hardships of Xhorhas may force a child to grow up quickly in the tribes but that doesn’t mean children outside of those regions have to learn how to wield a sword and what bugs you can and cannot eat or how to best skin an animal before eating it… It took some convincing why that was not a necessary skill to learn at the tender age of ten.

You compromised with Yasha on the fighting in the end, persuaded by the woman and your child to allow her to teach them some fighting basics because someone’ has to have your back when Yasha’s not there. You did manage to hold them off on purchasing a sword perhaps too large for your child despite the ‘they’ll grow into it’ reasoning and instead settled on training equipment instead.

Mollymauk:

Oh Mollymauk, nothing surprises this one. He felt rather sorry for you going through the struggles of raising a child alone. He may not remember his own family but he’s traveled far and wide enough to know the hardships. He knows poor Toya and he admires you for being able to do what so many can’t or won’t.

It goes unsaid that Molly is perhaps the worst of influences when it comes to people but you’ve seen him interact with Toya before and know well enough he’s a kind and caring soul who wants only the best for those who can’t just yet fend for themselves. It’s a good foundation that leads to a better person. He jokingly claims himself proof of that through the carnival and him ‘being an absolute asshole’.

Molly’s soft side really does come out whenever he’s around your child. He doesn’t deliberately censor himself but tries to contain certain words and avoid certain subjects that should never be discussed around your child knowing you’d appreciate it and if he does let something slip and your child ask questions he’d gently explain it as certain things should definitely not be described in gory detail to someone of their age.

This circus man is not afraid to put on a show in any circumstance and will happily do so to cheer you or your child up whenever you’re feeling a bit down or overworked. Whether he’s making a fool of himself, giving you bogus card readings, juggle his swords or tell the most ridiculous stories ever he’d do it without a second thought because it brings you and your child joy. You’re part of his family and he’d go to hell and back again for you.

#critical role #critical role x reader #mighty nein x reader #mighty nein #caleb x reader #caleb widogast x reader #beauregard x reader #fjord x reader #veth x reader #nott x reader #jester x reader #caduceus x reader #yasha x reader #mollymauk x reader #critrole x reader

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romelle · 4 years ago

Note

got any allura headcanons? i loved your hunk ones <3

i sure do!! and since today is her unofficial birthday (or allurentine) these are based around that 🥰🌈🍫🌹 they’re set sometime after the war, except the team is still in space and s7-8 didn't happen

as it turns out, organising a surprise party can be a rather tricky ordeal when the person you're hiding it from literally lives with you

allura, walking in on keith standing next to lance with a giant bouquet of red roses, magical candles floating around their heads and heart-shaped decorations scattered all over the room: ...

lance:

keith:

allura:

lance: so i proposed

keith: jesus fuck

some of them don't even bother to be subtle. pidge asks her to play a game of 21 questions, but when allura (who is simply over the moon with the fact that pidge is finally branching out) asks what her favourite colour is, pidge just goes "triangle. how do you feel about red velvet cakes"

allura, in an overexaggeratedly loud voice: my oh my, i sure do love sparkly things! if only someone were to get me something sparkly for whatever reason at all! i would be so incredibly delighted!

shiro: you figured it out huh

allura, in her normal voice again: please. the mice told me as soon as you got the idea

the entire party is valentines themed!! all the balloons are heart-shaped, the cupcakes all have pink sprinkles, and hunk makes some chocolate covered strawberry drops! the roses lance and keith bought also make an appearance

allura: wait. so you two aren't actually engaged?

lance:

keith:

lance: well, see, technically-

shiro: jesus fuck

hunk makes everyone colour coordinated paper party hats with the power of arts and crafts! romelle helps and makes a special glittery paper crown for lura, since it has to be clear that she's the birthday girl

romelle: you don't have to wear it if you don't want to!! i know you already have the real thing, so this must feel a bit foolish

allura, holding back tears: this is quite genuinely the best birthday gift i've ever gotten

coran: ...your father once named a star system after you

allura: did i stutter

they also get her a pair of light-up sneakers, and she is absolutely enamoured w them. she wears them to all of their fancy diplomatic meetings for the entire following month

lance: okay princess, we're all going to count down to zero, and then you can blow out the candles and make your wish

allura, starry-eyed: i see! earth birthday traditions are so much fun

lance, the youngest sibling, already getting ready to blow out the candles once the countdown reaches 1: haha. they sure are!

it takes them three countdowns and hunk holding his hand over lance's mouth until she finally gets to blow them out

romelle, with a soft smile: may i ask what your wish was?

allura, too embarrassed to say that she wished to spend all of her future birthdays with these exact same people (and maybe also with romelle holding her hand): a pet weblum

shiro tries to take a photo of them around the cake, and then he just kind of stands there with a weird look on his face. the rest of the team assumes that he's getting sentimental, but actually he's sweating because he’s an old man and doesn't know how to take photos on altean holoscreens

shiro: happy birthday princess! you don't look a day over ten thousand

allura: thank you! neither do you :-)

shiro: ...for the last time, i'm only 26

coran pulls the tips of her ears the same number of times as the number of years she's turning, the way he always did when she was a child. it's supposed to be silly, but at some point, they both start laugh-crying

allura: where did you get all the decorations?

lance: keith, romelle and i took a quick trip to earth. you wouldn't believe how dedicated they are to celebrating your birthday down there lura

keith, rolling his eyes: lance tried to convince romelle that all the valentines stuff in the stores was actually for you

romelle:

romelle: it wasn't??

they all fall asleep while watching romcoms on the couch, and although there are no royal banquets or extravagant gifts, it's one of the most treasured birthdays of allura's life

#voltron #vld allura #klance #romellura #lumi.headcanons

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innaminitus · 4 years ago

Text

Whipped cream

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

Request: Can you do a draco x female reader smut where they’re making Christmas treats involving whipped cream and they use the whipped cream for you know what😏😏 sry if this is too weird lmao

and

Hello!! I wanted to request a story that was really for your imagination to go wild lol. A Draco Malfoy smut that’s just filthy ya know? Like no vanilla shit in SIGHT... like the fanfic would get 0% vanilla on there Bdsm.org quiz.... thank you👀 (both from anon)

Warnings: smut, no plot at all, adult!Draco, spanking, orgasm denial, inappropriate use of whipped cream

Word count: 1545

A/N: i’m afraid this isn’t exactly what the second anon wanted, it’s slightly vanilla, like i would give it 20% vanilla on said quiz lol

“I’m just saying, you could use magic for that, you know?” Draco looked at you skeptically, arms crossed.

“And what would be the fun in that?” You gasped, almost out of breath. This would be more exercising than you’ve done this year. The whipped cream was almost ready, you were whisking it fiercely.

“You know you didn’t have to make cupcakes, right?” He sat next to you as you checked if the cream is dense enough.

“I wanted to. Your dad loves them. Besides, it’s Christmas and I don’t have any present for your parents. It’s absurd that they have everything.”

“They don’t expect you to bring anything, baby. Besides, I thought we’d give them the gifts I bought.”

You sighed. “Well, now I’m almost finished, so you can just as well help me and we can go.” You pointed at the whipped cream dispenser and he gave it to you. You put the cream in and pushed the little lever to check if it works. You pushed it a bit too hard and the cream flew through the kitchen, hitting Draco in his cheek. He reached to it and swiped the cream away with two fingers as you laughed at him.

He took a step in your direction and showed you the fingers. “Now lick it off.”

You felt shivers at the sight of his unamused face and long fingers. You loved when he looked at you this way, like a king at his subject. You slowly reached to him and held his palm, bringing it closer to your lips, then stuck out your tongue and licked the cream before taking the fingers in your mouth. You sucked them and swirled your tongue around, your eyes locked on him, on his lips parted just slightly as he took the fingers out, held your chin and pushed his thumb in your mouth, pressing on your tongue. Then he leaned and the thumb was replaced by his tongue, sweet pressure of his lips made you wrap your arms around him, but he moved away.

“No touching,” he ordered. “If you touch me, you’ll be punished.”

Excitement rushed through your body and you obediently kept your hands on your lap. At least for now. He joined your lips once more and wrapped his arms around your waist just to pull you up and throw you on the kitchen table. His hands were on your thighs, his tongue in your lips and your fingers itched to touch him, but just for a minute you wanted to play his game. His hands travelled up and up, under your shirt, grabbed the hem of it and took it off. You nipples were already hard and pointy, and he groaned at the sight as he pinched them hard and pulled, releasing an inhuman sound for the back of your throat. With a smirk he pushed you onto the table and crawled on it himself, hovering over you. You could see in his eyes as he was fighting inner battle about what to do to you. One look at the clock above the door made him grin. You still had quite a bit of time before you’d have to go for Christmas dinner with his parents.

He took the whipped cream dispenser. “Revenge, darling,” he murmured in your ear before biting it gently. That’s when you felt the coldness of cream on your neck, followed by the hotness of his tongue tracing the curve of your throat, a sensation that made you arch your back, only to feel more and more of him. “No.” He stopped. “You’ll do no such thing. That’s the first warning. One more and…” He didn’t care to finish, he just continued, spraying the cream through your collarbone and the valley of your breasts. It was soon followed by his tongue and lips, needy kisses along with licks and flicks. When he got to your tits he grabbed them hard with both his hands, thumbs rubbed hardened nipples, soon replaced by lips. A moan escaped your lips, your hands unwittingly shot to his hair, fingers got lost in soft, blonde locks. He stopped again. Whoops.

“Y/N,” he murmured in a husky voice. “What did I tell you?”

You bit your lower lip and let go of his hair. “No touching.”

“And what did you do?” He lifted himself up to look at your red face. With messy hair and red, plump lips he was so arousing you couldn’t make a sound. “What did you do, Y/N?”

“I– I touched you. I disobeyed.”

The groan you heard would be enough to make your panties wet if they wouldn’t already be soaking.

“You realize I have to punish you now, do you?” He almost ripped the zipper of your jeans when he furiously took them off and dropped them on the kitchen floor. A smile of content showed on his face at the sight of your lacy, high rise panties that showed most of your ass. He swirled his finger in air. “Turn around.” You did as you were told and felt his warm hand on the back of your thigh, caressing your skin, travelling up, between your legs where he dragged his fingers right through your pulsing, clothed pussy, forcing you to sigh. But even though his hands were suddenly gone and he got off the table, you felt his hands second later, as he grabbed your thighs and pulled you towards the edge of the table, so your front was still on it, but your legs and ass were in the air. His hands slid up your thighs and onto your cheeks, you heard him kneel as he kneaded them with his fingers. Your pussy was wet and throbbing, begging for any touch, so when you felt his lips on your clothed womanhood you almost jumped. He took his time, touching you gently with the tip of his tongue, lace making the sensation different, more blurred. Just when you almost gave up and wanted to beg him to properly touch you he slid his tongue under the fabric which he pulled aside with his finger. Sigh of relief quickly turned to groan of desperation when he pulled away.

“Tell me, what do you want me to do to you?” He bit your cheek harshly.

“I– I want you to lick me,” you said, your voice trembling.

“I need more details…” He licked the bite.

You swallowed hard. “I want you to lick my pussy,” you started. “To suck my clit and push your tongue inside me, to– to finger me. Please…” You could feel his smile on your thigh as he kissed your skin. “I want you to fuck me so hard I won’t be able to walk… Or to sit at today’s dinner…”

He laughed darkly. “Oh, wouldn’t you like that, huh? Well, that’s what a good girl would get.” You heard him stand and your heart jumped. “And you are certainly not a good girl. Good girls obey.” He hooked his fingers on your panties and slid them down your legs, and the next thing you felt was sharp pain when he spanked you once, then again. And again. And again, and again, and again, until you were a moaning mess under him and he pushed two or three fingers deep inside of you, other hand our back, pushing you hard onto the table and fingered you fast, curling the fingers in just the perfect way, obscene sounds of your juices filled the kitchen. You screamed his name, so close to ecstasy you almost saw stars, and then, just as he felt your muscles clenching, he pulled out. He didn’t give you any time to catch breath, he spanked your ass once more, even harder if it was possible, then spanked one of your thighs, then another, and when he hit your pussy you were shamelessly close to orgasm that he once again denied. Just before you wanted to beg him for it, his fingers were again deep inside your pussy, followed by another finger in your ass. You squirmed when he started fiercely pumping into your holes, but he wasn’t done. He kneeled again and his tongue landed on your clit, circling it and swirling on it, overstimulation made you cry, tears were running down your cheeks, the only words you remembered were Draco and please! Pleasure was more than you’ve felt through your entire life.

“Don’t you dare to come,” he ordered, sound of his voice echoed through your body.

“Please– please! I have to come!” You cried and cried, but he was saying one word and one word only. No.

Your legs were trembling, the cells of your body tried to explode, held together only by your strong will. Denial almost physically hurt, your nails were digging into cupcakes you just made, now completely ruined, and just when you really, really couldn’t hold it, you heard it.

“Come for me.”

Orgasm hit you like a bomb, you felt like a human explosion when pleasure attacked your body, pure ecstasy escaped your lips through screams and moans, stars shone behind your closed eyelids and Draco’s voice was the only thing echoing through it when he pulled away.

“Well look at the mess you’ve done.”

#draco x reader #draco x you #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x y/n #draco smut #malfoy x reader

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jadedxrealityw · 4 years ago

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-Sweaters- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

♡~🐍~♡

Request: Hi!♥️ I was just wondering if I could request a Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff reader fluff where she’s hanging out in his dorm and she always steals his sweaters and they’re really big on her and he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever🥺 and he’s always super gentle and sweet with her and ya u get the gist 🤣 sorry if this is weirdly specific, this has just been playing on my mind for a while haha🤪♥️🥰

Kody- I love the idea of stealing Draco’s sweaters so like yessss.

Warning: fluff overload. Draco being so ooc, but it’s okay.

House: Hufflepuff

♡~🐍~♡

waiting for your boyfriend in his dorm had become a bit of a bore. You knew he had quidditch practice, but you hadn’t been able to see him recently. Your lucky Blaise had let you into the Slytherin house with no questions, being the decent guy he was.

you feel goosebumps dot themselves all over your exposed skin. The coldness of his room nipping at you harshly. You should have brought a sweater, but you always seemed to forget how cold the Slytherin house was. Pushing yourself up from the bed, you threw your legs over the side.

a fun little thing you liked to do was steal your boyfriends sweaters. They were so soft and smelt of him, which always made you smile. You pitter pattered your way over to his wooden dresser, pulling on of the drawers open. Gazing at the options, one emerald green sweater caught your eye.

pulling it from the drawer, you felt the soft fabric against your hands. Anything he wore felt nice to the touch, most likely due to his wealth so he could afford to wear the nicest of things. Unfolding the sweater, you saw how big it was. Well Draco was much bigger then you so it made sense.

you turn the sweater around and lift it up to slip it over your body, the smell of his signature cologne filled your nose, sending you to cloud nine. The sweater stopped mid-thigh on you, covering your shorts completely it made you smile. You wrap your arms around yourself, imagining Draco hugging you close to him.

♡~🐍~♡

pulling the sweatpants over his boxers, Draco sighed deeply, draping the towel around his neck. He had taken a shower after leaving quidditch practice. It was tiring and he ready to take a nap in his room. He was a bit grumpy, stepping out the shower room he bumped into another Slytherin.

“Watch where you’re going” the Slytherin snaps at the poor boy. He scowls before pushing past him and into the common room. Every little thing was irritating him at the moment and desperately needed to be alone in his room. Blaise spots the blond boy spots his mate and rushes to him.

“hey, so i let your girl-” he starts, but Draco just sighed and pushed past him, leaving the other Slytherin to shrug and walk away. The blond boy walked straight through the common room and down the halls, stopping at his door. He grabs the handle and twist it, pushing it open.

his cold grey eyes were graced with the sight of you sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing his sweater. He felt all the stress of before melt away and a small decorated his pale face. He steps in and closes the door “Hey” you say sweetly, followed by a giggle.

Draco takes the towel from around his neck and throws it on his desk. You tilt your head a bit “You okay?” you ask, but he doesn’t respond. He just walks up to you and pushes to stand between your legs, looking down at you. “Your freaking me out, Draco”

he leans down to plant a kiss on your forehead “i’m just glad to see you, in my sweater” he replies, making you chuckle softly. Looking up at the the blond boy, you gave him a cheeky smile as you bring the sleeves up to your face “It got cold”

he nods slowly and places a hand on your face, his thumb tracing circles on the skin of your cheek. It was almost insane how easily you could sway his mood just by being in front of him, the sweater being a added treat. Speaking of treats, a sweet smell invaded his nose.

turning his head he spots a cupcake sitting on his nightstand ”you made me a cupcake?” he asked, facing you again and you give him a toothy grin, nodding your head “yeah. I thought you might want something sweet after practice-” Draco leans down to kiss your lips, one that you respond to.

he pulls away after a couple seconds, leaving you stunned. You blink a couple times before narrowing your eyes “What was that for?” you ask. Draco shrugs his shoulders and looks at his sweater on you “i can’t kiss my girlfriend now?” he grins as his hand gripped your thigh.

you squeak, making him smirk lightly “you must have used a spell on me Y/n, because it is magical how much i have fallen in love with you” he says. You smile brightly at his words and reach your arms up “Come here you big softie” you make grabbing motions with your hands.

he leans down and you wrap your arms around his neck “You caught me, i’ve been spiking the cupcakes with love potion” you say jokingly, making the blond laugh a little. “I knew it” he playfully gasped. Giggling at his reaction, you kiss his nose sweetly.

he looked at you lovingly, still taking in the sight of you in his sweater. The way it was too big for you was quite adorable to him. Draco pushes a strand of hair from your face with his pale hand before climbing onto the bed with you in his arms.

“tired?” you questioned, reading him like an open book. Quidditch practice most have tired him out. He nods slowly as he pulled you on top of him “Draco!” you squeak. All he does is smirk and pull his sheets over to the both of you “Shh” he hushes you

with a red face, you lay your head on his chest, hearing the rhythmic beat of his heart coaxing you to a sleepy feeling. Draco wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you tight against him in a protective hold. “Sleep my love” he mumbles, only getting your soft snores in response.

the Slytherin smiles warmly before closing his grey eyes, falling into a dreamless sleep.

♡~🐍~♡

Kody- Sorry this is like super short, requests have been going slow since ive been a little sicky sicky. Anyways, peace.

#draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x y/n #draco x reader #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #x reader #x fem!reader #x female reader #fanfiction #fanfic #harry potter #potterhead #slytherin #hufflepuff

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tchallasbabymama · 4 years ago

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All For Us Chapter 5

Hey y’all, hope you enjoy the chapter a day early! Check out my masterlist to catch up on this story or read my other ones. And, as always, reblogs and comments are more than welcome 🥰

Word Count: 5,471

CW: Mention of self-harm

Erik fidgeted in his chair as he waited for his family to walk through the door. He had seen each of them individually at least once, Shuri being the only one who never came back, but something about seeing them all together had him on edge. His right leg couldn’t stop bouncing, and he tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair impatiently.

“Don’t worry, the Udakus are never on time,” Naomi reassured him as he looked to the clock for the second time in the last minute. Their appointment started five minutes ago.

“They run on CP time, huh?” he joked, trying to distract himself from his nerves.

“CP time?”

“Colored people time...the name’s dated as hell, but basically Black people ain’t ever on time.”

“That is true of Wakanda as well,” she laughed. “Time is more of a suggestion here.”

“I can fuck with it,” he chuckled but was cut short by the thumping in his chest as the door opened, and T’Challa walked in, holding the door for the rest of the family.

“Your highnesses,” Naomi saluted them. “Please, come in and make yourselves comfortable.”

Naomi had arranged the chairs in her office so that the six of them sat in a circle. Mira sat between Erik and Ramonda, and Shuri chose the seat closest to Naomi. T’Challa sat between his mother and sister and threw a smile Erik’s way.

“Thank you all for coming here today. It is imperative that Erik has a healthy support system when he leaves here, and I just wanted to make sure we are all on the same page. I know you have each met with him individually, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to get it all out there and move forward as a unit. Now, I know we all want what’s best for Erik-”

Shuri scoffed, and Naomi turned to her.

“Princess, I heard you still have some reservations about him. Why?”

“He killed my brother,” she seethed.

“Shuri, I am right here,” T’Challa said, exasperated at her unwillingness to see past her anger.

“By the grace of Bast!”

“Shuri,” Ramonda chided.

“Queen Mother, if you don’t mind, I think this is a conversation that needs to happen between these two.”

Ramonda nodded and gestured for Shuri to continue.

“You’re only here because Nakia snatched a heart-shaped herb before he burnt the rest of them to the ground. It’s taken this long for them to even start growing again. All he does is destroy, and I don’t want him here. It’s bad enough you made me heal him, but now I have to look at him every day and pretend to like him, too?”

“You don’t have to like him, Shuri, but he is family-”

“That didn’t mean anything when he threw you over the falls or when he almost killed me, so why should it matter now?”

“Because I’m not that same person anymore,” Erik jumped in.

“Oh, sure. You’re just magically better all of a sudden,” she rolled her eyes and turned back to her brother. “How am I supposed to sleep at night knowing he’s in the palace?”

“Princess Shuri, Erik has been working very hard to overcome his anger and his past traumas. So much so that I see no need to extend his stay past what we originally agreed on.”

“Wait, really?” Erik’s face brightened, and he turned in his seat to look at Naomi.

“Yes. You have shown remarkable improvement, Erik.”

“You mean he can come home soon?” Queen Mother asked, prompting Erik and Shuri to feel very different ways about her use of the word “home.” Erik missed having one, and Shuri hated having him in hers.

“Yes, ma’am, he’ll be out of here in two weeks.”

Mira couldn’t contain her smile as she reached for his hand. They locked eyes, and yet again, the look in his eyes needed no words. They were glassy as they swelled with tears, and a couple fell while Naomi handed him the tissue box.

“What’s wrong, dear?” Ramonda asked.

“My bad,” he sniffled as he dried his tears. “I just really want to see Cupcake.”

“She wants to see you, too. I told her you were sick and had to get better before she could, but she’s been asking me about you damn near every second.”

“And me, as well. She is excited to meet you, cousin,” T’Challa chimed in. “‘Do you think daddy will like this?’, ‘When is he coming home?’, ‘Is daddy still sick?’, ‘Can you tell daddy I love him?’”

“Or my personal favorite, ‘Can we bring some to daddy?’ after dinner last night,” Ramonda added.

“She’s still a daddy’s girl, through and through,” Mira said with a sarcastic eye-roll, making Naomi chuckle.

“Yes, mine is the same way. It is quite frustrating,” she joked. “Now, I think it would be beneficial for us to go around the room and get it all out on the table. Princess Shuri already went, unless you have more to say…”

“No.”

“Ok, then King T’Challa, how about you go next?”

He nodded and looked to his cousin.

“I do not think I have said this to you yet, but I am genuinely sorry, Erik-”

“Stop, you didn’t do anything.”

“I know, but I needed to say it. I am also sorry I disobeyed your wishes; that was something I should not have done.”

“I’ll say,” Shuri mumbled under her breath.

“But I am glad that I did. Otherwise, we would not get to see this other side of you.”

“Thanks, man. I was in a bad place, obviously, and, uh...I don’t know, I just felt like a failure...I felt like I had nothing to live for anymore...my pride was hurt.”

Mira slowly pulled her hand back and placed it in her lap, and Erik could feel the tension brewing beneath the surface.

“Anything else, my king?”

“Just that I hope we can move past all of this and build a relationship. You are my cousin, and I am determined to love you whether you want me to or not.”

Erik and Mira both smirked at the king. They were thankful for the kindhearted man and his insistence on cleaning up the bad blood in his family.

“Queen Mother, do you have anything you would like to share?”

“Yes, actually,” she reached into her bag and pulled out something that had been gift-wrapped. She handed it to Erik, and he looked at her in confusion. “Go ahead, open it.”

Everyone looked on with intrigue as he ripped at the paper, revealing a gold picture frame. Erik flipped the frame over and a lump formed in his throat.

“This is from a gala for the Pan African Council in 1991. It was one of the two times I met him.”

Drops of water splashed on the picture of N’Jobu, and Erik looked up for a leak in the ceiling before he realized the tears were flowing from his eyes. He grabbed another tissue and passed the box around when he realized the others were getting misty-eyed as well. Even Shuri.

“I, uh...I don’t know what to say...thank you, Auntie,” he croaked as he got up and pulled her into a hug. Mira took the opportunity to take a look at the picture. They had the same look in their eyes, but feature-wise, Erik had to have taken after his mother. There was no doubt about it though, those deep brown puppy dog Udaku eyes were front and center.

Erik sat down, and she handed the photo back to him.

“May I see?” T’Challa asked, and Erik passed it to him, watching as Shuri took a look over his shoulder to see it too. Her face softened a little more, and Erik could swear she saw a hint of sadness there. He passed it back, and Erik simply stared at the photo, fingers lightly caressing the fame.

“Alright, lastly, we have Mira. Anything to add?”

“Not really,” she shook her head.

“Well, then may I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“Earlier, you seemed upset when Erik mentioned not having anything to live for. Care to expand on that?”

“Not really.”

“Mira...you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it, Erik? You said you have nothing to live for, yet your daughter and I were sitting at home waiting for you.”

“I wasn’t in my right mind, Mira. All that mattered was the mission. I lost myself to it. Actually, I lost myself a long time ago, but at the time, nothing could’ve pulled me back...not even you or Imani.”

“What if it happens again. Not for this, but for something else? What if you start working again and go back to your old ways? What then?”

“I won’t.”

“How am I supposed to trust that, Erik?”

“Mira, I’d like to jump in if you don’t mind.”

Mira shook her head and gestured for Naomi to continue.

“I understand your hesitance, but I assure you, I have the utmost faith that Erik has changed. His behaviors were tied to his trauma, and we have been able to work through his feelings of grief, anger, guilt, and self-loathing.”

“Self-loathing?” Queen Mother asked.

“Erik, would you care to…”

“Yeah, sure,” he cleared his throat. “I, uh, sort of hated myself for a long time. Everybody I loved died, and I had some sort of...what did you call it?”

“Survivor’s remorse.”

“Yeah, survivor’s remorse. I felt guilty for not dying.”

Mira looked up at him and her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

“Then I felt guilty for all the shit I did to survive, and how violent I became...then the self-hate kicked in when I realized how good I was at it.” His fingers ran over the scars on his forearm, and he took a deep breath. “These aren’t trophies. They’re my sins.”

The room fell silent.

“How many?” Shuri asked tentatively.

“You don’t wanna know.”

“I do,” Mira chimed in. “I’ve tried counting them, but you’re such a light sleeper it’s impossible. I can guess though...I got to five hundred once before you woke up one morning.”

“I don’t want you to look at me differently-”

“Erik, you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to, but nobody here will look at you any differently if you do. Right?”

Everyone agreed, even Shuri.

Erik took a deep breath and hung his head before speaking, “Three thousand and nine scars...three thousand and nine people are dead because of me.”

“You’re not that person anymore, Erik,” Naomi reminded him.

“Yeah, but what if I am?”

“You’re not,” Mira reached for his hand again.

“How do you know?”

“Cousin, I can guarantee you that even in the short time we have known each other, you have changed.”

“Erik, you should trust yourself more. You’ve been given the tools you need; you just have to use them.”

He nodded slowly, taking in Naomi’s wise words.

“It also helps if you’re surrounded by people who love and support you.” She turned to Shuri, “Princess, let us work through your feelings.”

“I already said what I needed to say. I don’t trust him...but I’m not saying it’ll be like that forever. Just for now, I still don’t.”

“And why is that?”

“Have you ever had someone try to kill you?”

“No, I can’t say that I have.”

“You never forget the look in their eyes.”

“I understand you, sister. It is not an easy thing to get past...however, it is possible. Look at him now. Do you see those same eyes?”

Erik looked at Shuri, and her stone face softened a little but still stayed pretty wooden.

“No.”

“Look, I get it...I’m your T’Chaka, but I don’t wanna be that person anymore. Not to Mira, not to Imani, not to y’all-”

“Don’t forget yourself. You’re doing this for you, too,” Mira chimed in, and Erik nodded.

“We are still working on self-love, but I feel that the next two weeks will be fruitful,” Naomi said, closing her notebook. “Is there anything else you all need to get off your chests?”

“I have one more thing,” Mira said as she sat up in her chair and turned her body to face Erik.

“I never told you what happened after you left,” she said, trying to keep it together. “I, um...I got depressed again, like when Imani was born. It wasn’t pretty, but I made sure she was good. I couldn’t eat. All I wanted to do was sleep. It got so bad I had to quit my job and go live with Stefan and Havana. I know that’s what you suggested in the first place, but I thought I could handle it on my own. I’m basically a stay-at-home mom now; I take care of the kids while Stef and Ana are at work...cooking and cleaning, and all that jazz. I never thought I would like that life, but it’s nice, and it’s a good way to repay them for letting us stay there. You wouldn’t believe how big SJ is now, and they have a new baby Daveed...things are different now, but it’s nice.”

“Have you...are you seeing anybody?”

“No, but I tried dating...didn’t work out.”

Erik tried and failed to hide the smirk on his face.

“I can’t say I’m sorry about that, but I am sorry about what I put you through, Mira. I shouldn’t have left you two.”

“I know you know that now; I just wish you knew it then.”

He pulled her hand to his lips for a kiss, and she let him.

“Are we still separated?”

Both Ramonda and T’Challa’s eyebrows raised. Neither of them was aware that the two had been having marital problems. T’Challa never even thought to ask.

“Erik, I need to tell you something…”

His breath hitched in his throat.

“I’m not saying it’s what I want now...but I was going to serve you with divorce papers. I had them drawn up and everything. They just needed your signature, but I couldn’t bring myself to give them to you. I was going to give them to you when you came back...if you came back.”

“And now?”

“Now...I don’t know, Erik. I think I have to get to know this new you to decide.”

“That’s fair.” He said to the ground before lifting his head and looking Mira in her eyes. “I’m gonna make you want to marry me all over again, though. Watch.”

--------

“If you don’t sit still, you’re going just like this,” Mira fussed as she tried to braid Imani’s hair.

“No, I’ll stop!” Imani tried her best not to move, but the pillow she was sitting on was starting to get uncomfortable, and she was getting antsy. Every second that passed brought her one step closer to meeting her daddy, and she couldn’t wait. All she had to do was get through the school day.

Mira smirked and tilted Imani’s head to the side to start on the last braid right as Shuri walked into the living room and plopped in the chair across from them.

“Rough night?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Over the past two weeks, Shuri had been slowly opening up to the idea of Erik living in the palace, but when she closed her eyes at night, she just kept seeing him lurking over her bed, ready to strike.

“Something on your mind?” Mira asked through gritted teeth that held a tiny black rubber band.

“No, just...apprehensive.”

“About Erik?” Mira mouthed to her so Imani couldn’t hear. Shuri nodded and sunk deeper into the chair with a sigh. Mira finished up Imani’s last braid and put a couple of beads on the end before kissing the top of her head. “Ok, you’re done. Can you go get dressed?”

“Ok, mommy!” Imani took off, but before Mira could tell her to slow down, T’Challa came around the corner and scooped her up, planting a kiss on her cheek. Imani’s giggles erupted throughout the expansive living area and forced Shuri to crack a smile.

“Why are you running in my palace?” he playfully chastised her.

“I’m happy I get to meet my daddy. If I put my school clothes on fast, it’ll happen faster!”

“Well, let’s make it even faster then!” T’Challa took off with her down the hall, leaving Shuri and Mira in the living room laughing at his shenanigans.

“When is he gonna have one of his own?”

Shuri’s eyes rolled all the way to the back of her head. “As soon as he stops chasing after a woman who wants to live on the other side of the planet.”

“Nakia still giving him the runaround?”

“Girl, you don’t know the half of it,” Shuri complained. “Maybe you or Erik can talk some sense into him.”

“Maybe...you seem to be warming up to the idea of him lately. How are you feeling?”

Shuri sighed and sat forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her thighs. “I won’t lie and say I’m thrilled, but I understand him better now, and I trust my brother’s judgment. And mama’s. And yours...I want him to be in Imani’s life, but it is just hard to forget his face in that moment, you know?”

Mira nodded, “I don’t, but I do.”

“Maybe seeing him in a new light with you and Imani will help,” Shuri shrugged.

“I hope so.”

“Me, too.”

Just then, T’Challa re-entered the room, “The princess is having trouble deciding which outfit to wear.”

“That’s my queue,” Mira got up from the couch and washed off her greasy hands before strolling down the hallway to help out her little fashionista. She and T’Challa had already laid out three outfit choices, so it just came down to which one she thought her daddy would like best.

“I want to look nice to meet him, but I don’t know which one looks better.”

“Can I give a suggestion?”

“Mhm,” Imani nodded with her brows creased as she thought really hard over which outfit to pick.

“How about the gold sandals from Lala with this two-piece? Yellow looks good on you, and the sandals match your backpack. You’ll look like a little ray of sunshine.”

“Hmmm...Ok!”

“Glad I could help,” Mira chuckled.

“I’ll wear my yellow outfit if you wear your blue one just like it.”

“It’s a deal,” Mira threw over her shoulder as she left the room to go change. When she entered the living room, her cousins and Auntie all smiled at the two of them. Imani’s yellow Ankara print tube top and harem pants matched perfectly with Mira’s blue ones. The only difference was Mira had on some crisp white sneakers and big gold Fulani earrings.

Mira walked Imani to school the same way she did every day, but this time her head was in the clouds. Even Imani was quiet on the way, the butterflies in both of their stomachs working overtime. When they reached the classroom, Imani turned to her mom, looking at her face that surprised Mira.

“What’s wrong, baby?” She crouched down to her level.

“What if daddy doesn’t like me?” she poked her lip out, and Mira knew she had to act fast before it started quivering, and the tears started falling.

“Like you? He loves you more than anything in this world!” she said excitedly while tickling Imani’s ribs and making her laugh. “He loves you just as much as I do, baby girl.”

“He does?”

“Of course, you’re his Cupcake.”

“Cupcake?”

“Mhm, that’s what he used to call you because you’re so sweet.” Mira pretended to gobble up Imani’s fingers, making her giggles chase away any doubts she had about her father. “Now, you ready for school?”

“Yes, ma’am,” she said excitedly.

“Alright, I’ll see you at 2. Be good.” Mira kissed Imani’s cheek and stood back up to her full height.

“I will, mommy. Sala kakuhle!” she waved goodbye and ran to go play with her friends while Mira sent the teacher a smile before heading back to the palace.

When Mira was nervous, she liked to busy her hands with something, so she took some time to anxiously clean and organize her already clean quarters. She would have to sit in on another council meeting shortly, and although she wasn’t looking forward to having all that attention on her again, she was determined to go in there with her head held high.

Just as she started scrubbing the sink, her alarm went off telling her it was time for the meeting. She washed her hands and squeezed lemon juice on them to get rid of the bleach smell before leaving her quarters and traveling to the business side of the palace. When Mira entered the throne room, she slid into the empty seat between Ramonda and Shuri just as T’Challa started speaking.

“As you all know, Erik will be discharged from Ithemba Center today at noon, and we have the press conference scheduled at five. He has already been briefed on it, and while he is still apprehensive about addressing the nation, I have worked with him over the last week and it seems as though he will be fine. Any questions regarding the press conference?” The council members shook their heads and T’Challa continued, “Now, I have spoken to each of you about his community service, and have finally decided on the order. I would like him to start with the Jabari as a member of their fire and rescue team, then transfer to mining vibranium before moving to border patrols. Then he will work at the River tribe’s animal sanctuary, and he’ll end his service by working as janitorial staff in the market. The order is subject to change if necessary.”

“My king, are we sure we can trust him in the Mining and Border provinces?” Tendayi, the River tribe elder spoke out, making Dama and W’Dani nod along.

“Yes, I have faith in him. Any other questions?”

Mira tentatively raised her hand, not sure if she was allowed to talk or not. T’Challa nodded her way, and she cleared her throat before speaking, “I was wondering if we could move with him? He’s been away from Imani so long and once he comes back, I don’t want to disrupt her life any more than it’s already been disrupted.”

“That is understandable. Housing for the three of you will be provided in each province.”

“Thank you,” she turned to the elders, “and I don’t want to be a freeloader, so if there’s anywhere I can help out just let me know.”

“Mira, of course you and Imani are welcome to stay with us, but if you really want something to do we can find a job for you, too.” Ife stated as the other council members nodded along in agreement.

“I’d like that. I need something to do,” she chuckled. “Thank you.”

“We will work something out,” Dama winked her way.

“We will miss the two of you around the palace, but I think that is a great idea. You will be provided with transportation to get Imani to school.”

“Thank you,” Mira smiled.

“You are welcome. Now, is there anything else?” T’Challa was met with silence as he checked the time on his beads and looked back at Mira. “Good, it is about time we go bring him home.”

Mira’s heart thumped in her chest as she nodded.

“Meeting adjourned.”

The council members filed out of the room, sending well-wishes to Mira as they went.

--------

Erik happily signed his discharge paperwork, but his internal celebration was cut short by a knock at his door. He half expected it to be Mira, but he looked up and saw Naomi in his doorway.

“How are you feeling today?”

“Excited and nervous.”

“I bet,” she chuckled. “Remember what we talked about, and you will be fine.”

Erik nodded and took a deep breath.

“Ready to go? I will walk you out.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Erik took a deep breath and they walked through the facility in silence before they reached the lobby. There stood T’Challa and Mira with huge smiles on their faces that infected Erik as soon as he saw them. Mira pulled him into a hug and held him tight as she rocked him from side to side.

“I’m so proud of you, Erik.”

“As am I, cousin.”

Mira let Erik go and he dapped T’Challa up, pulling him into a hug next.

“Thanks. Both of you...I couldn’t have done all this without you.”

Mira wiped a stray tear from her eye and looped her arm around his. “Let’s go home.”

“Home, huh? I like the sound of that,” he mused.

The three of them made their way back to the palace where they were greeted by a tearful Ramonda and a still apprehensive Shuri. She sent him a small smile, though, and that was enough for him. The family sat around the kitchen table talking and laughing as if it had always been that way, and Erik found their familiarity to be a comfort he hadn’t felt in a long time. Ramonda constantly pushed food in Erik’s direction, and even though he had a late breakfast he just couldn’t say no. He stuffed his face full of eggah and freshly squeezed mango juice until he had his fill and sat back in his chair with his hands resting on his full stomach.

“I’m ready for a nap. Where am I staying?”

“This week you will be in the palace, as well as during your time working for the Merchant tribe-”

“You’re gonna hate it…” Mira sang under her breath with a wry laugh, making T’Challa smirk.

“But, other than that, you will be staying with the various tribes during your volunteer time.”

“What exactly am I supposed to be doing?” he sent a suspicious look Mira’s way.

“We can discuss that later. For now, let us get you settled in.”

Erik nodded and followed behind Mira and T’Challa as they walked through the winding palace hallways. They took him to his living quarters, and he was pleasantly surprised to see that he would still be living with Mira and Imani.

“I didn’t know if you’d want me with you or not.”

“Oh, you’re sleeping in the guest room...but I wanted you close for Imani.”

“Fair enough,” Erik nodded and walked around the space, checking it out.

“I will leave you two alone to get settled in,” T’Challa turned and left the space.

Mira looked at her beads. “You might want to go ahead and get ready, we’ll be leaving in thirty minutes.

“Leaving?”

“Mhm, we have to pick up Imani from school.”

“W-we do?”

“Yeah...are you ok?”

“Nah. What if she doesn’t like me?”

Mira bursted out laughing and caught him off-guard. “She asked me the same thing this morning.”

Erik just smiled and shook his head. He had nothing to worry about.

“Just like her daddy, huh?”

“Just like him,” she smiled back.

“I guess I should get ready, then. I want to make a good first impression.”

“Erik, you’ll be fine…I promise. She already loves you.”

He stood and kissed her forehead before turning and walking towards the bathroom, pulling his shirt over his head. Mira tried to avert her eyes, but his rippling back muscles called to her. Her face felt hot, and she bolted out of the room, hoping he didn’t notice how flustered he made her.

He did.

A little while later, Erik emerged from the bathroom very well moisturized and followed by a cloud of steam. He stood there for a few minutes in his towel, staring at the clothes in his huge closet, not knowing what to put on his body.

“Mira!” he called to her in the other room. She playfully rolled her eyes and headed his way, already knowing what he wanted. Like father, like daughter.

“You rang?” she stood in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest, trying like hell to keep her eyes above his collarbone.

“I don’t know what to wear.”

“Wakandan or American?”

“Uh, American, I guess.”

“Do you want to match Imani?”

His face lit up, and she took it for a yes, pulling out a pastel yellow t-shirt and a pair of jeans with matching sneakers.

“This outfit with gold accessories.”

“Thanks,” he grinned at her, and Mira tried not to get lost in his dimples. She was failing miserably, so she left him to his own devices. She missed the satisfied smirk on his face.

--------

Erik could feel the eyes on him as he walked through the city with Mira and T’Challa. Some were cold, but most were simply confused by his presence.

“Ignore them,” Mira whispered up to him, and he nodded, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t going to let anything ruin this moment.

They arrived at the elementary school and Mira went in to get Imani while the two men waited outside. As soon as Imani saw her mother, she jumped down and ran over to her.

“Hey baby girl, how was your day?”

“Good! I made a new friend,” she said proudly.

“You did? I’ll have to meet them sometime soon. Right now we have to go see daddy,” Mira’s eyes flashed with mischief and Imani’s joy radiated throughout the room. “Ready?”

Imani was so happy she could barely speak, so she just nodded her head. Mira waved goodbye to the teacher, and the two of them traveled back down the hallway hand in hand.

Erik’s fingers tapped his thigh in rapid succession and he chewed on his bottom lip.

“I can hear you overthinking, cousin.”

Erik started pacing back and forth and was about to open his mouth to say something when the doors to the school swished open. T’Challa held his hand up and started recording with his beads.

“Daddy!” Imani saw Erik and dropped her backpack as she ran to him. For a moment, he was frozen in time, but as she got closer he snapped out of it and crouched down for her to run into his arms.

“Hey, Cupcake,” his voice cracked as he held her tight. Her little arms wrapped around his neck like she never wanted to let him go, and he couldn’t help the tears that streamed from his eyes. Mira and T’Challa tried their best to hold it together, but neither could blink the tears away.

“What’s wrong?” Imani heard him sniffle and pulled back to look at his face.

“Nothing, baby, I’m just happy to see you.” He closed his eyes and said a silent prayer to Bast to thank her for letting him live another day to see his daughter once more.

The four of them walked back to the palace with Imani talking Erik’s ear off the whole way as he carried her on his hip. The first thing she did when they got there was to show him her dolls, all of which were fully decked out in the most beautiful doll-sized finery T’Challa could get his hands on. Erik took in the sparkly purple walls and the finger paints by an easel in the corner of the room. Her canopy bed was the main attraction, though, and made her feel the princess she was.

“Damn, T did all this?” Erik asked as Mira entered the room behind him.

“Yep,” she laughed. “He’d do anything for that little girl.”

“Remind me to thank him later…” he trailed off as his eyes caught sight of an enormous, stuffed jaguar by the window seat. A goofy smile took over his face, and Mira couldn’t help but swoon. Over the past few weeks of her getting to see Erik at Ithemba, she could tell his spirit was lighter. However, it wasn’t until the three of them were sitting in Imani’s room playing with her dolls that she thought Erik actually looked happy. And not just happy, but happier than she had ever seen him. His smiles actually reached his eyes for the first time since before he left for Wakanda, and she loved to watch the two of them interact with each other. Erik was a gentle giant when it came to his baby girl, and all his fierceness flew out the window when Imani started popping butterfly clips in his locs.

Erik noticed Mira was lost in her thoughts, so he reached over and grabbed her hand. He squeezed it and looked into her eyes, once again conveying his soul with a single look.

He was home for good this time. Next Chapter

Taglist: @ladymac82, @kitesatforestp, @harleycativy, @raysunshine78, @maddeningmayhem, @theblulife, @motheroffae, @love-mesome-me, @toni9

#cecewritessometimes #black panther fanfiction #erik killmonger #erik stevens #erik killmonger x oc #black!oc #all for us

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jasmariswonderland · 2 years ago

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How My Twst OCs Spent Winter Break ~ Part 2

Book 5 is now closer than ever for EN so now onto the final part of my headcanons for my ocs during winter break since some of it will be relevant to the future. This part will include Sidonie, Farron, Maximilian and Vidaria. Fair warning, some of these get a tad long. Especially Vidaria’s.

As much as she enjoys school life, Sidonie is happy to be returning home for a few weeks. She’s looking forward to showing her family how much her magic has improved, and she’s even more looking forward to the possibility of meeting up with Trey. However, Trey is kept busy with his family’s bakery for a good amount of time during their break, and she doesn’t get to see him right away.

But this doesn’t get her down. During the break, she meets up with Farron and joins him when he goes fabric shopping for Danica’s VDC costume which he’ll begin mock ups of while away from school. While out, Sidonie gets a text from Trey saying he’ll have some free time soon and would definitely love to meet up! Even though Sidonie was hoping for something like this, hope and expectation don’t always match reality! Either way she’s very happy but she soon realizes that for all her hope to hang out with him, she doesn’t have a Christmas gift for him!

So her and Farron’s outing soon turns from shopping for fabric to shopping for a suitable gift for Trey. They’re both at a loss at what to get him since everything they think of he likely already has or otherwise wouldn’t work. New cookware? No, he probably has all the cookware he needs. A box of candied violets? No, that would be too obvious. A nice warm scarf? Again, too obvious. Sidonie is really stressing this and Farron can see that, he assures her that Trey would appreciate anything she gave him but she still wants her gift to be special.

While wandering through one shop, they pause to look through a display cute charms and keychains. Sidonie then notices one in particular: a cute kitty in a chef hat holding a cupcake. Her heart jumps as she immediately thinks about Trey, she wants to get it but she’s worried the charm would be too simple or wouldn’t be to his taste. Farron on the other hand thinks its a perfect gift since it’s cute, not too obvious and even argues that a fancier gift might also be too obvious as well. So she gets the charm and a few days later, meets up with Trey. They go ice skating with some of his siblings and towards the end of the day, she gives him the charm.

He’s very thankful and gracious which makes her feel better, yet, somehow, she was not expecting for him to actually use it! A few days after the students return to school, at a science club meeting, Sidonie sees the chef kitty charm dangling from his bag! It makes her heart race and she has to pinch herself several times in case she’s blushing or grinning. Rook notices the charm too and immediately asks Trey where he got it. Trey and Sidonie share a brief glance where they silently agree that for the sake of their mental health Rook must NOT know so Trey lies and says one of his siblings gave him the charm as a Christmas present. But Rook notices the red tint on Sidonie’s cheeks and can decipher Trey’s lie immediately. But he decides he won’t tease either about it, for now…

More under the cut!

Towards the end of Farron’s outing with Sidonie, they run into Andrew. Farron has told Sidonie a lot about him but this is their first time meeting each other and she takes a liking to him at once. Later that evening, she gives Farron her blessing for their future relationship which makes him happy considering Maximilian doesn’t approve. Christmas passes happily for Farron and his family and on New Years Eve, Andrew invites Farron to a fancy party to ring in the new year. However, it turns out, this is a very exclusive paty they’ve ended up sneaking in!

When he realizes this, Farron wants to leave right away before they get caught but Andrew convinces him to stay and they end up having a fantastic time. They dance, they drink, they mingle with the upper crust, and Farron ends up having a little too much to drink. Just as Andrew thinks it’s high time to bring Farron home, they nearly get caught when Farron spots his older sister at the party and calls out to her. That’s when they leave and surprisingly, none of the party attendance are the wiser.

While walking home, Farron tells Andrew how he’s always liked him and think he has the most beautiful eyes. Andrew is listening but he’s also aware that Farron is very drunk, especially when they reach the door of Farron’s house and he asks Andrew for a good night/new years kiss. As much as Andrew would love to kiss Farron, he want’s Farron to remember their first kiss and worries he won’t since he’s under the influence. He just smiles and says “not yet, but soon”.

Maximilian ends up leaving NRC for winter holiday a little early as well as he’s helping his family with holiday orders as well as commissions from various nobles across Twisted Wonderland. Since this is his third year in school, his father decides it’s time for him to begin taking on more duties and responsibilities with the company and it’s decided that he’ll intern with the company the following summer and for part of his fourth year at NRC.

Truthfully, Maximilian isn’t that much interested in the business aspect of his new position, finding more joy in the creative, more interested in acquiring new rare and precious gems for the company as well as his personal collection. When he’s not working with his family, he’s skiing or attending various holiday parties he’s been invited to. He’s surprised when he runs into Cater at one of these parties but since they’re friends, it’s not unwelcome. They have a lot of fun and sulk at how apparently they’re too pleb to be invited to the new years masquerade that Vil and Danica are attending.

Winter in Briar Valley is long, cold, and can be depressing for some. But the holidays at the Draconia court are still a glittering, festive occasion. As crown princess in all but name, Vidaria is expected to attend most of the festivities at the side of the rest of the royal family. In the past, she dreaded this but in recent years she has found some joy in the holidays and enjoys the feasting and dancing that will occur.

Since winter holiday begins for NRC students about a week before christmas, the Diasomnia group end up staying a few days on campus before leaving for home around christmas eve. During that time, Vidaria spends her days riding with Silver and Sebek and watching Malleus sulk over not being invited to any holiday parties. He’s lowkey hoping that maybe Yuulan will invite him to something at Ramshackle but no invitation from her comes, making him sulk further.

A few days later, Iman shows up at Diasomnia and invites Vidaria to spend a few days with her in Scalding Sands. At first, Lilia is reluctant to let her go since she must be in Briar Valley for the court christmas celebrations and neither Silver nor Sebek is too keen on the idea of accompanying her since she’d naturally need protection. Iman assures him that her guards are the best in Scalding Sands and will protect Vidaria as though she were a princess of their own nation. Since Lilia is very much a sucker where Vidaria is concerned, he agrees on the condition that Vidaria is home no later than christmas eve. She agrees and is off to Scalding Sands with Iman, much to Malleus’ chagrin because yet again, he was not invited to something.

Vidaria is made a guest of honor by the Yasir’s at every event they arrange during the trip, she’s a little put off by the high temperatures but otherwise has a wonderful time with Iman as her guide. Though it doesn’t take long for word of Vidaria’s visit to appear all over magicam along with pictures of her in beautiful traditional dress. She’s something of a Princess Di figure not only in her country but all over the world and her social media presence compared to most in Briar Valley only adds to her popularity.

Unfortunately, this also makes it easier for Pro-Cherith resistance groups to know her location. One night, Vidaria and Iman attend a banquet held by Kalim’s family. During the party, guards of the Yasir family approach them to say they heard word of an attempt to kidnap Vidaria and that they must leave soon. Iman is peeved but Vidaria is used to it and they agree to leave with the guards. However, Jamil is at this party too and notices something is not right. The girls expect to be taken back to the palace but the guards end up taking them to a canal where a boat is waiting for them. It seems a little odd but they don’t think much about it until Iman gets a text from Jamil with a simple but alarming message:

“Don’t panic, will be there soon...”

As it turns out, Iman’s guards are under a powerful hypnosis spell which is what compelled them to bring her and Vidaria to this place. A Pro-Cherith resistance group is indeed responsible and while Vidaria is more or less content with her betrothal to Malleus, they hope that by taking a foreign princess hostage (Iman), that the government of Scalding Sands will now be compelled (forced) to join their side in their fight. The girls are naturally horrified and try to escape but Vidaria is reluctant to use her magic since it’s extremely destructive and she has little to no control over it when she’s distressed. They’re nearly forced onto the boat but thankfully, at the last minute, Jamil arrives with a group of Asim family guards, specifically selected for their strong proficiency with defensive magic. They take care of the resistance group members and Vidaria is saved from yet another kidnap attempt, Iman as well. The girls and the Yasir family are extremely thankful to Jamil for his quick efforts and Kalim is thrilled at seeing Jamil finally having a moment to shine.

However, the aftermath is a diplomatic nightmare. Word of the kidnap attempt thankfully never reaches the press due to some heavy bribery by the Asim’s and Yasir’s who feel personally responsible and embarrassed that something like this could happen to a a florigen princess in their care. The queen of Briar Valley is naturally furious but agrees to take no further action against their government so long as the guards involved are sacked and Vidaria is returned to Briar Valley immediately.

Vidaria and Iman are sad about this but try to look on the bright side, all things considered, Vidaria’s visit to Scalding Sands was very fun up until this unfortunate incident and they do have time for one final outing. She attends a street festival and watches Kalim, Jamil and Iman take part in a dance contest. It’s a fun conclusion to her vacation and by the end of it, she decides she wants to join Iman when she auditions for the VDC when they return to school. Vidaria then returns to Briar Valley where she receives only a light scolding from Lilia but is forced to listen to Sebek’s loud vexation about what happened to her for several weeks afterward. Clearly, he is more upset about it than she is.

#twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #headcanons and things #OC: Sidonie #OC: Farron #OC: Maximilian #OC: Vidaria

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5-falsehoods-phonated · 4 years ago

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When Our Hands Next Meet

Series summary: Soulmates are given memories of their past lives when their hands touch. For Virgil and Logan, each memory is happier than the last.

This series was created for @analogicalweek and made in collaboration with the lovely @birdsongisland! Please go look at the piece that inspired this work and support them with reblogs so they’re work can be seen!

Credit to birdsongisland for beta reading this work and truly making it so much better with their suggestions. Thank you!

Chapter 1: Did You Forget?

Chapter Summary: Logan plans a surprise for Virgil on their anniversary, only to receive one instead.

Day 1 Prompt: Debate/Anniversary

Warnings: food mention. If there are others please let me know!

WC: 1320

AO3 link

Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @ace-in-a-shopping-cart @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi @logans-library @im-an-anxious-wreck @edupunkn00b

Logan adjusted the flowers in the vase one last time, stepping back before he nitpicked the setup to death trying to get every last detail right. Neither of them liked big, fancy occasions so he always tried to get the details right down to the wrinkles in the cloth so it would be special for them regardless. Frowning he stepped forward to wipe a bit of chipped nail polish off the pristine silky tablecloth, wincing as he looked at the state of his nails. Sometimes he hated how much he worked with his hands that polish never seemed to last half as long as it should, but then he thought of Virgil holding his hands while they watched a movie or their current binge show, carefully applying each color and keeping a hold of his hand while it dried even if it wasn’t strictly necessary- the image made him blush right down to his shirt collar and duck his chin against the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. He couldn’t afford to get distracted at the moment- at least not for too long. Everything was set, all he needed was for Virgil to come home.

He’d been surprised coming out to the backyard to set everything up only to find the lawn swept clean of debris and fairy lights strung up, twinkling in the late afternoon sun. He had wondered what Virgil had been doing, running off to the store after dinner. He’d spouted something about an errand, pecking him on the cheek and leaving before Logan could think to ask what he needed to be going out for at six o’clock in the evening.

Admittedly he’d been a bit distracted with his own plans, digging for a lighter he knew they had to light the candle on the cupcake later. Thankfully said cake was holding up perfectly in the back of the fridge where he knew Virgil wouldn’t see it. Standing on the porch he smiled softly as he looked around, the backyard turned into a magical scene thanks to Virgil’s efforts. He hadn’t thought to set the lights up when he had planned his own surprise, so he was glad Virgil had made it even better.

Not a moment too soon he heard the car pull into the driveway, making a giddy sort of happiness settle in the center of his chest. Never had he been so enamored with someone that the mere thought of their presence lit up his nerves with a pleasant hum that left him dizzy and anchored in the same moment. But here he was, shifting anxiously from foot to foot waiting for his soulmate to come through the door. He only had to wait a minute before Virgil stepped out onto the back porch, confusion settling over his features before he shook it away and a somewhat nervous smile took its place. Smiling himself as he drew near, Logan held out his hand which was taken immediately and gently squeezed. The air was similarly squeezed from his lungs when he finally locked eyes with Virgil, his deep brown eyes glittering along with the purple eyeshadow applied underneath them with a darker shade of lipstick painting his smile.

Blushing slightly, he ignored the other's amusement and tugged him towards the table. “Did you forget what day it was?” He teased.

“Considering we ate dinner in suits- hardly. I was just surprised to find you out here, usually we eat dessert inside.”

“You had already set up the fairy lights. I thought it would be an opportunity missed if we didn’t celebrate our anniversary outside on such a lovely night.”

Virgil smiled softly and ran his thumb over his knuckles. “I’m so glad that I have you in my life, this is perfect. So much better than that auditorium where we first met.”

“Debate club was hardly the ideal circumstance for us to meet.” Logan chuckled.

“I don’t even remember what the subject was.”

“I believe it was one of the duller practice ones asking whether or not peanut butter was ethically sourced- to which you argued you were allergic and therefore should get a passing grade regardless because asking you to talk about it was unethical in and of itself.” Laughing at the memory he watched as Virgil only huffed in mock annoyance.

“It was a good argument!” Screwing his mouth to the side Virgil nudged him playfully. “It was a dumb subject anyway no one had any good counterpoints.”

“I did!”

“So did I, that’s not the point Lo.” Laughing outright at the seething look he received, Virgil held his hands up in mock surrender.

“You did, actually. I remember you doing very well for not having prepared anything.” Logan sniffed indignantly. “Mine were just better.”

Smirking, he leaned back into the table as Virgil’s expression morphed into a “challenge accepted” glare, eager to see where this would go. He always loved getting Virgil into debate moods, he became so animated and focused- a far cry from when he first started and thought hissing was a legitimate debate tactic.

“I’ll have you know,” Virgil stepped forward purposefully, petite stature making it not nearly as intimidating as it was meant to be. “I’ve learned much better debate tactics since then anyway.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Logan smiled. “Oh have you-”

He cut himself off with a choked gasp as Virgil was suddenly holding his hand while down on one knee, a small box held open in his palm to reveal a ring with a stone that twinkled gently with the fairy lights behind them. He snapped his mouth shut as Virgil smiled that gentle smile, the same smile that Logan had counted himself the luckiest person in the world to see the first day he had seen the emo teen slouch his way up the stage and behind the podium, nerves clearly telling him to listen to his fight or flight reflex but instead choosing to put those around him at ease any way he could.

“Logan.” He was snapped out of his thoughts with a gentle squeeze to his hand. “Do you remember how we had to shake hands after the debate?”

“I do.” Logan breathed.

“I saw all of you in that moment, every second we’ve spent together since our souls first met. I’ve loved you in every single life before this and in every single one I love you more still. I know it isn’t necessary but- I want to have a day that makes the fact that we’re soulmates everyone else’s problem.” Virgil held Logan’s gaze earnestly as he choked back a laugh. “Logan, will you marry me?”

“Virgil- of course!” Later he wasn’t sure if Virgil had tugged him down by his tie or if he had gripped it when Logan leaned down, but it didn’t matter as their lips connected and Logan could feel his boyfriend’s, no his fiance’s- his soulmate's heart racing underneath his fingers as he placed a hand to his cheek in an attempt to pull him closer.

Pulling away for a moment he laughed gently at the lipstick smeared slightly, reaching forward to try and fix it. “Virgil, that is not a legitimate debate tactic.”

“I’m taking it as a win anyway.” Virgil reached forward as well, pushing his glasses up to rub away a few stray tears Logan hadn’t noticed collecting on his cheeks. He leaned forward to kiss him again, and again, and again while the candles Logan had forgotten he had lit on the cupcake burned themselves out on the icing and the engagement ring was placed on the table in favor of holding each other as close as they could. And as Logan buried his face in the crook of Virgil’s neck and felt the other’s embrace tighten he knew that in all the lifetimes they had and would share, there was nowhere else he would rather be.

#false writes #analogicalweek #analogical week #analogical #virgil sanders #logan sanders #fluff #tw food mention #food mention #collaboration #logan x virgil #ao3 #sanders sides #sanders sides fic

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straightouttaneptune · 4 years ago

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Luna

Pairing: Harry Potter x Slytherin!Reader (past), Dad!Harry Potter x daughter!Lily Potter

Warning: This is like... legitimate angst. Honestly, it’s so bittersweet. There’s mentions of blood, but I mean, it is Harry Potter.

Summary: Harry tells a story about a girl, Y/N Y/L/N, his first girlfriend. Ginny’s out for the night, and Harry’s daughter, Lily Potter, is more than excited to hear about her father’s teenage romance.

A/N: This came to me while I was daydreaming during class. Amazing what a weekend of binge rewatching Harry Potter will do to you, lmao. Also, I’m debating on making an alternate ending to you and Harry’s story. Oh! Also it’s super long!!

—————————————————————

“Dad, was mum your first girlfriend?” The 9 year old Lily Potter whispered to her father with a faint blush appearing on her cheeks.

It was a snowy winter night, the day before her brothers, James and Albus returned from Hogwarts for Christmas break. Her mother, Ginny Potter was out for the night, preparing for the other Weasley-Potter kids’ return.

“Well, do you promise to keep this a secret between us?” Harry replied enthusiastically, sitting down on Lily’s bed as she sat up with her girlish excitement twinkling in her eyes.

“Definitely. So it wasn’t mum?” She giggled as she got situated to hear this very exclusive bed-time story, her sleepiness cast away, nowhere to be found.

“No, although I love your mum very much. My first girlfriend’s name was Y/N Y/L/N.” He paused for a second, for just speaking your name brought back so many memories that made him almost tear up.

“That’s such a pretty name! Was she in Gryffindor, like you and mum?” Lily reacted, and with that Harry resumed the story.

“Actually, cupcake, she wasn’t. She was in Slytherin.” Harry smiled, watching Lily’s face turn into a look of absolute shock as she gasped.

“A Slytherin? Really? Was she pretty?”

“The prettiest girl at Hogwarts. You see, in our first year, me, Uncle Ron and Auntie Hermione, we had to face this big, scary troll in the girls bathroom. She saved us, because she knew a lot of charms, even as a first year!”

“So she was smart, too!”

“Yeah. She was brilliant.”

December, 1993 Outside the shrieking shack

“He was their friend!” Harry yelled out angrily, hopelessly, powerlessly. He was so frustrated, so sad, and yet he was so powerless in that situation. He couldn’t possibly go after Sirius Black, he didn’t even know where he was. He couldn’t go back in time to save his parents. He could only feel hatred. Intense hatred.

Just when the dark, black smoke of anger started to crowd his senses, his head snapped upwards, his darkened eyes making contact with your unbelievably bright and gentle ones- as your warm hand enveloped his affectionately. The thick smoke vanished in a second, a wave of tears replacing it. He weakly wraps his hand around yours, feeling the small moon-shaped charm on your bracelet to calm himself.

You held him silently, as Ron and Hermione watched him helplessly weep into your shoulder.

November, 1994 Outside the champions tent

“Harry, you’re brilliant.” You sighed happily, each breath filled with adrenaline as you went to greet him first thing after his first task in the Triwizard tournament.

“Thanks to you, Y/N. You taught me the accio spell.” Harry chuckled proudly, the golden egg heavy in his arms like a trophy worth billions of galleons.

You rolled your eyes with a grin, laughing as you shove him into the crowd of Gryffindors waiting for him. “No Harry, you just are brilliant. You were amazing.”

You stand there smiling at him and his friends, one by one telling him how they believed him now, and that he was doing justice for the Gryffindor house. That was all you ever wanted for him- to be happy.

He glances at you with a hint of guilt, his gaze flickering down to the green emblem on your robes for just a split second. If only you were in Gryffindor. He thought multiple times. Because even though he didn’t care at all, the others did. Teachers did. Fate did.

But you only smile back at him and raise your brows, as if to say “Go, have fun with your friends.” With the overwhelmingly kind look he couldn’t find even if he searched for it in the eyes of the whole Hufflepuff house. Only in yours.

“Why were you talking to Potter? Come on, then.” Pansy pulls on your robes, pulling you away from the bright, cheery crowd of crimson red and yellow.

December, 1994 Gryffindor common room

“You really should just gather your things and come live with us.” Hermione joked, watching you nibble a candy cane while you faced your potions report in the Gryffindor common room that has now become your second home.

Looking up from the parchment at the three of your favorite Gryffindors sitting on the couches, you nodded in agreement. “Honestly, ‘Mione, I would if I could.”

Harry and Ron burst out laughing, imaging you packing up and moving into the Gryffindor dorms. “You should!” Harry encouraged.

“And- Y/N, have you decided who you’re going with to the Yule Ball yet?” Hermione asked rather hesitantly, her eyes locked with Harry’s.

But you don’t notice, replying “No, the person I really wanted to go with hasn’t asked me yet.” You mutter bashfully, everyone in the room, except Harry knowing who you meant exactly.

“Oh, that’s a shame. I’m sure he’ll ask you soon. I know you’ve already got plenty of asks, he should hurry.” Hermione sends Harry a death glare, her head cocking towards you, demanding him to ask you right now. Harry blushed intensely, gazing at you pondering whilst your stare bore into your unfinished report.

“That’s cause Y/N’s the pretty Slytherin princess, who wouldn’t ask her?” Ginny interrupted for a brief second, giggling at your reaction to the nickname the students had given you.

“For God’s sake, Harry!” Hermione blurted out, sending Harry into a state of complete panic.

“Okay! I get it! Y/N, willyougototheyuleballwithme?”

“Huh?”

“Hermione, what’s a god?”

“Ronald, this is not the time!”

“Y/N!” Harry yelled, practically everyone in the whole common room listening now. “WILL YOU GO TO THE YULE BALL WITH ME!” He screamed, your mouth hanging open as you stared at the chosen one in shock.

After a brief second, everyone bursts out laughing, and in the midst of the uncontrollable laughs erupting from your stomach, you wipe a tear away and scream back, “YES!”

And the cheers go wild.

June 1996 Ministry of Magic

“Harry!” You yelp, dashing towards the limp figure laying in the sand, ignoring every other adult there that tried to stop you.

Harry, trying to fight the daunting whispers of Voldemort, gets a sudden surge of power hearing your voice. He can feel you close by, kneeling down next to him. The warm, strong yet inviting aura of yours makes him feel invincible as he regains control of himself.

“Harry.” You sigh a breath of relief as he wakes, clutching onto your arm of dear life. He dives into your arms, and you slide your arms under his, head buried in his shoulder.

His voice is tired and deep, but you still hear it very clearly.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too.”

August 1997 The Burrow

“Love, you look... brilliant.” Harry gravitates towards you in the after-ceremony of Bill and Fleur’s wedding. He admires your amazingly attractive figure wrapped up in the gold and royal blue dress that reminds him of the night sky.

“You’re supposed to say that to Fleur, y’know. But... you look good too, darling.” Your shy, yet bright smile ignites an eternal flame in his heart, wondering how he managed to snag such a brilliant human being.

“Speaking of, have you seen how beautiful the sky was tonight?” Your soft hand takes his and he lets you lead him out of the crowded tent- if he was being honest, he’d let you lead him anywhere.

“Well, you know, they’re alright.” Harry joked, earning him a light punch on the shoulder from you. “One day, do you think we’d marry under the moonlight like tonight’s?” He knew it was forward, but he couldn’t help but to ask. Every day felt more and more rushed, and he wasn’t sure if he was going to be alive the next day, the next week, or the next year.

You squeezed his hand gently, meeting his brilliantly emerald eyes as he desperately searched for an answer in your gaze. “We will. I’ll love you forever, Harry.”

His heart feels like they’re about to burst through his ribcage, as he hastily closes the gap between your lips. Your lips taste like vanilla, and he savors every second, feeling your warmth, your soft skin, until the moment is broken by the chaos inside.

March 1998 Malfoy Manor

“Throw the three into the cellar! I... want to have a chat with this one!” Bellatrix Lestrange stomps over to you, recognizing your face immediately. She ignores Harry’s cries of threats and drinks you in dangerously. You stand tall, with nothing to hide, even though her presence sends chills down your spine.

“So... Y/L/N, that’s your name, isn’t it, girl? Your parents told me ALL about you, Y/N! Associating yourself with blood traitors! Mudbloods! Friends? With Gryffindors? Hufflepuffs!” She circles around you, like she was debating with herself on what she should do with you.

“Your parents... disowned you, I heard! You! Are a traitor to your blood!” With a swift flick of her wand, a deep cut appeared on your right arm. You screamed in pain, trying to supress the want to collapse on the floor.

“To your house!” Her wand swishes through the air, and another long, claw-like cut. This time almost slicing off your left leg. Your throat itches from the force as you let out another heart-wrenching scream, horrified at what she might end up doing to you.

You didn’t want to die.

“Y/N!! We have to help her. Please. Open, God-dammit! Bellatrix, she’ll kill her!” Harry yelled, tears splitting from his darkened eyes in the lit cellar, feeling the dark knot form in his stomach, hinting at something horrible that he felt was going to happen. He continuously banged his fist at the metal bars, but everyone knew it wasn’t going to come down.

Ron held Hermione silently as she cried.

“Bella, stop, her father-” Narcissa Malfoy’s fearful shout made Harry drain all colors in his face.

“Harry, I love you.” You whisper under your breath.

“Avada Kedavra!”

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the remaining prisoners in the cellar found themselves on the beaches of the shell cottage, all confused on what had just happened.

“No... Y/N, she did this.” Hermione gasped, tears blurring her vision as she looked out at the blue sky that seemed like it stretched out for miles.

Harry let out a pained shudder. Without even checking if you were here or not, he could feel that he lost you. That you were gone. From his grasp. You said forever. That you’d marry him under the moonlight. You said, you loved him. He was supposed to defeat Voldemort, and live the normal life you both craved. The realization that he wouldn’t be able to hear your voice, or your laugh, and he wouldn’t be able to feel you against him, your angelic eyes on him, dawned on Harry’s fragile heart. He let out yells of agony, knowing that no matter what he did, nothing would bring you back.

But you said forever.

“Oh, no.” Lily gulped, seeing that just talking about it pained her father, still. “But I don’t understand, what did she do before...” Lily trailed off, curious as to why your death resulted in the rest getting saved.

“It was ancient magic she used. Even Auntie Hermione didn’t know the incantations to it. She’d only read about it years ago. Before Y/N’s death, the charm would grant her to use one last spell without her wand. She used it on the disapparation and apparation for the 6 of us.” Harry looked distantly into the air, his hand reaching for the bracelet on his wrist.

“This was hers, cupcake. Recognize anything?” Harry held out your charmed bracelet in front of Lily, her eyes twinkling as she figured it out instantly.

“My name?” Harry nodded with a hopeful smile on his face.

“Lily Luna Potter.”

ps. Lily was named after you. You had always worn the moon charmed bracelet, and Luna = Moon. Many people thought it was after Luna Lovegood, but in reality, it was you.

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karimac · 3 years ago

Text

...in the details, Part 2

A/N: Warning for this series: 18+ audience (minors DNI), some cinematic level violence, some fluff and angst. Doubt that smut will be involved, but it may be implied. I’ll make sure that is noted clearly if it pops up.

All relationships, at this point anyway, are platonic.

Please do not repost or translate my work. Likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

A bit about the OC Kari

Part 1

All mistakes are my own.

Word count: 2,249

Before you ventured into Westview, a flight of birds overhead reminded you of Redwing and Sam. Poor Sam. That sixth sense you had told you that fight at the compound was going to lead you all into very weird places. And the first one left you very squarely not in the room once again.

This time it was Steve and Bucky being thick as thieves, and you and Sam were…making a sandwich run? Couldn’t exactly get GrubHub to make a delivery to an attack site, could you? Bruce did not want some driver with a cellphone putting video up on Snapchat. “How would that look?” he bemoaned as he worked on the time travel platform. “We’d be getting tourists left and right. I don’t need that.” So off you and Sam went.

“You know, you could just, you know,” Sam started to say as he waved his hands like he thought a wizard would do, “and just poof up a plate of stuff. Right? With extra food for Banner, of course. He inhales tacos like nobody’s business. Just ask Tic Tac.”

“Sam, what have I told all of you before? Magic is the transfer of energy and matter. No suitable food stuff means no sandwiches. I can’t just think about the deli counter at Wegman’s and make a sandwich and a side of coleslaw appear in my hand. So, we’ll order on the app and pick it up. Just like everyone else. Before I hit the button, any changes to your order?”

“No, it’s fine. But don’t tell me you’ve never done shit like that when you’ve had your back against it,” Falcon huffed as you went to the rental car you’d gotten earlier in the day. That, thank Heaven, was easy to get at the local but extremely small airport.

“I’ve killed small rodents and eaten them, and I don’t mean just rabbits. Snakes, too. And, well, birds of prey, like falcons,” you groaned as you started to get into the car, but you stopped and headed back to the passenger side. “And I know you hate my driving, so here you go,” you said as you handed Sam the keys. “Sorry it isn’t a Ferrari. I was lucky to get this Kia. They didn’t exactly have anything race course worthy.”

As Sam climbed in, he saw bags of gear in the back seat. “You pulling a Wanda? Need some me time away from all us testosterone jockeys? Cyborg is going to be pissed.”

“Bucky has other stuff to deal with, trust me,” you said as you rolled your eyes. “He does not need to add Crazy Old Broad to his growing list of things to do and people to take care of this week. I heard him talking to Steve…”

“You? Eavesdropping? You are human!” Sam smirked, but then he saw the comment had hit a nerve. “You know I was kidding, right?”

“I know you are,” you said as you swallowed hard. In reality, you were not exactly buying that last comment. Sam was a sweetheart, but his comment sounded like things Tony and Steve had said about you in the weeks before the Time Heist. It depended on the situation, but one or the other of them seemed to question you, your motives, your powers and what they could do, and, at times, your grasp on reality. You did have a connection to a goddess they couldn’t see. Blaming them for having those questions just was not in your wheelhouse. “And yeah, maybe I just need to go figure a few things out. You guys know how to get me back here if you need me.”

“Somehow I don’t think Steve, Bucky and I would look so great standing and screaming your name in the middle of a fight,” Sam noted as he finally turned the key in the ignition.

“Now who is having issues with gender roles?” you said with a very pronounced side glance. “Sam, we are all human. We all need a save now and then. Maybe you’ll never have to utter my name again after today, unless you guys can’t find something you think I hid? Thor will be back once he’s done exploring the universe, and you can always get him here fast if you have Strange find him. And Wong is just dying for his shot as a full time Avenger. We all know that! And I can go back and do, well, goddess stuff, I guess. And raise horses. Just, please, make sure no one drops the ball on Parker. He lost his parents and his uncle. Losing Tony will hit him harder than anyone likely expects. He’s a good kid. He just needs support and guidance. Now, want to get this thing moving, or do you want me to drive?”

“And have you antagonize the local cops by going Mach 1? No thank you!”

You had to laugh at that one. You did tend to floor it. A lot.

++++++++++

A short time later, you and Sam rolled back to the site Bruce had chosen to set up the time travel platform. After you two handed out all the food, you realized it was really time for you to get going. No, you didn’t have a train, plane or bus to catch or someone to meet. You just knew it was going to get harder to make the break the longer you stayed there.

“She’s pulling a Wanda on us,” Sam said as he finished off the last of the sweet tea he had grabbed at the deli where you’d gotten food. “I think it’s too much he-man macho stuff, but she won’t fess up to that.”

“Wilson, how many brothers did I have?” you asked as you cleaned up the trash from the table Bruce had borrowed from a local park that had been wrecked during the battle. It had a huge hole in the end, but hey, it was good enough for the moment.

“Eight,” Bucky replied before Sam got the chance. “Just don’t quiz me on all their names. I remember your twin, Branan, and the one who was the vampire. Ewan? Right?”

“Yup, that’s right,” you grinned at Buck. “And no quiz. Promise,” you said as you raised your left hand and crossed your heart with your right.

“Why are you leaving?” Bruce asked as he adjusted the sling on his still injured arm, putting extra emphasis on the word “are” as he uttered it. “We need all the help we can get.”

Bruce, heaven help him, was suddenly one of the last active OG Avengers standing on Earth. Thor was off finding himself with the Guardians, and no one could really begrudge him that. He needed time to heal, and you knew all too well that was not easy nor time limited. Clint had more or less retired again after Natasha’s sacrifice on Vormir. Steve was getting ready to take the stones back, but upon his return, he’d likely join up with Sam and Bucky again to root out any remaining Hydra cells. That left Bruce in a very different place this time around.

“Bruce, you don’t really need me being a head case. Trust me. You do not need me giving any news outlets ammunition to blast headlines that make the team look less than spotless. I need to go home, at least for a little while,” you replied, knowing full well you were not telling him or the others everything. “And as I reminded Sam, you guys can just call me, and I’ll be here. Just whisper my name. Or yell it. Whatever works. Text me! If it’s an emergency, and if I’m not in the middle of some new damned war on my end, I’ll come running. But I have a feeling you guys are going to be just fine. Hell, I’ll give you a blessing before I head out.”

Yeah. A blessing. More like the final nail in the coffin. The words to start the spell to make them forget you.

“Big guy, you first,” you said as you put your hands on Bruce’s injured right arm. “And no, I am doing this, Bruce. It won’t be a full healing, but it should speed things up. You got this, big guy. Biggest brain. Biggest heart. May you realize just how much this team was built with your sweat and tears as it was anyone else’s.”

“I can’t change your mind?” Bruce asked as he pretended to wipe a tear from his eye and pout a bit. “And I am not asking because you are likely the only one of us who can cook…”

“I’m pretty sure all of you guys can cook something. Maybe not a good Colcannon or a fine Dublin coddle, but you’ll survive. As for the cupcakes, you guys may need to get a bakery on speed dial,” you added with a laugh because you knew they’d make that bakery rich. The Avengers loved their sugary snacks.

“Just don’t bug my sister, Bruce,” Sam noted as he waited for you to come over to him. “I still remember asking why the Cupcake Lady had a sword that night when those demon things attacked near the tower. I never asked. Why the cupcakes?”

“And not why the demons or the sword?” you said as you nearly choked on your words. “You realize that was before Steve saw me at Peggy’s funeral. That night was truly a fluke, Sam. No one was supposed to see that side of me then. As for the cupcakes, they were my entry to your world. Gifts from a fan girl. They’re easy to carry, a synch to personalize when needed, and everyone can have their own without fighting,” you said with a grin as Sam shook his head. “What?”

“You sound like Sarah.”

“Then I am in good company. Tell her the good stuff you’ve told me all these years. The words of wisdom. The little jokes. The pep talks. Tell her often. A single mom with two boys needs that. Be there for her, and drag these guys to see her, too. It would do the boys a world of good to have all their uncles stop by. Now, Samuel,” you said as you gave him a hug, “remember to keep these guys flying right. And if the world drops opportunity in your lap, whatever it might be, do not look at it and push it away without a lot of thought. The world needs Sam Wilson, the hero with a heart.”

And now the hardest part of this good bye had you wiping tears from your eyes. “I know. I’m a big mush. Girls from Brooklyn would laugh at me for this, right? Sorry, but girls from Naas and Athy do cry sometimes. I’m going to miss you two lugs. A lot.”

“Lugs. Last time you called us that was in ’43,” Bucky said as he looked down at his feet for a minute. “Somehow Hydra missed that memory.”

“You’ll see us again,” Steve said as he turned briefly to see where the case with the stones was on the platform. “But this time, it better not take 70 years.”

As you looked at the best friends, something about their auras seemed off. They had been planning something when you almost walked in on their chat a few days ago. You had no idea what it was, and you suddenly didn’t want to hang around to find out what the next act was going to bring.

“Just…watch your back, Steve. From what Clint said about Vormir, that one is going to be tough. And Buck, whatever comes next, I’m rooting for you. Even if you can’t see me doing it.”

“You really don’t have to leave,” Bruce kept insisting as you hefted your backpack on your shoulder.

“Dr. Banner, do you really want to fight my demons after all this? I have enemies. You just haven’t seen them yet. Frankly, the only reason that Hydra didn’t grab me before I hooked up with the Howling Commandos was because I was pulled into another dimension by one of those enemies. It was only by some weird twist of fate that Peggy found me when she did. If the veil between worlds had not been so thin near that camp, I might never have made it back, or Hydra might have found me first. It was pure dumb luck.”

{{And, Heaven help me, part of it was these two lugs over here}} you thought as you turned to head to your car. Then you stopped. This was a lot harder than it had been any time before, but it was the curse of an immortal to have to keep moving on. “I wish you luck, joy and happiness. I wish you peace. And, if you are truly lucky, memories long enough to have little space to spare for the likes of me because they are filled with so much more! See you in my dreams, for now anyway, fellas.”

++++++++++

You rolled out of there before Steve started his mission to return the stones, and you got a text from Bruce hours later telling you everything that had happened. Steve not coming back as planned. Then an older version of Steve shows up, sitting on a bench near the platform, and he gives Sam the shield. Right in front of Bucky.

It was now weeks later. No. It was months later, and here you were staring up at the sign for Westview. You’d gotten out of your rental car so you could get a feeling for the area around this little town.

“You made it back,” a voice said behind you. “How are you, after all that mess with Wanda and that Agatha woman? She was a real piece of work.”

The person speaking to you was Dr. Darcy Lewis. Friend of Thor and Dr. Jane Foster. Why was she even here?

You couldn’t fully figure out what the hell she was talking about. You didn’t remember being here before. Yet, you knew who she was, and you had never met her before. Or at least you couldn’t remember meeting her, here or anywhere else.

“Apparently not as great as I thought I was,” you muttered as you winced again. “Dr. Lewis, how long ago was the blip?”

“Give or take a week, about six months ago,” she replied as you started to pace. “Why?”

“Shit. Not this again,” you hissed as you looked up at the sign once more. “I think I’m going to need your help. How much do you know about Celtic myths and Irish history, Dr. Lewis?”

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ve1vetyoongi · 4 years ago

Text

better with you | 02

Chapters: index

Pairing: Seokjin x female reader

Genre: fake dating/arranged marriage!au, smut, angst, humour.

Word count: 18k

Summary: A part time job as a chef at Paradise Resort seems like the perfect way to spend your summer and save up some spare cash to open your own restaurant back home. That is until you cross paths with the CEO’s son who threatens to fire you if you don’t help him inherit his trust-fund-baby-fortune. How? By making you his fiancé. Well, his pretend fiancé at least.

Warnings: (mostly) fluffy smut, unprotected penetrative sex, handjobs, oral (f recieving), creampie, spanking, lots of pining hhhhhh.

A/N: HELLO omg it’s literally been so long since i updated this fic and let me tell you it was so fun to finally write for these characters again!!! thank u for everyone who has sent lovely asks about the first chapter and for waiting so long for the next one! ily and i hope ur all staying safe and well during these crazy times my honeybuns <3<3

"Seokjin," You gasp. "N-not here."

Fingers toy with the hem of the expensive sequin dress you found wrapped up in tissue paper on your bed that morning, edging agonizingly closer to the damp throb between your legs that under normal circumstances would require immediate attention from Seokjin -- if only you weren't in the back seat of one of the Kim's private cars.

"Why not?" Seokjin mumbles against your neck, the way his plump lips nibble the lobe of your ear making you shiver. "I know you're wet for me. Nobody has to know if I just..."

His palm cups your heat brazenly, and you have to bite back a moan, cheeks flushing when Seokjin chuckles low and gravelly against your ear. Your arrangement as you've taken to calling it has been going on for a few weeks now, Seokjin dragging you along to family outings and fancy dinners as his fiance and rewarding you with sensual rendezvous and get-to-know-me time in between.

"I know you want it, sweetheart." He drags a finger down your panties and you whimper. "Just say the magic word, and I'll give it to you."

Oh god. You are so weak for his touch, and he knows it. The things Seokjin's tousled hair and cocky smirk make you feel should be illegal. Anyone would think you have the sex drive of a teenage boy, constantly eager to jump his bones just looking at him. But not now, not here. The windows might be tinted, but you are sure you spot the chauffeur's eyes drifting to the backseat in the rear view mirror.

"Sir," The driver coughs, eyes trained politely to the steering wheel. The car has stopped at some point, not that either of you noticed. "We have arrived."

Seokjin flashes you a satisfied look as his hand reluctantly slips out from beneath your skirt so he can fish around in his back pocket for his leather wallet, throwing a couple fifty dollar bills on the front seat as a tip. "Thanks, Pierre."

You're still busy straightening your skirt when the car door opens and a black-gloved hand helps you out onto the sidewalk. You can't help but blush ferociously when you meet the driver's knowing gaze, a smirk playing on his lips. "No problem, sir'"

"I'll take it from here." Seokjin nods to the driver and slips his elbow through yours. Pierre lifts his black cap, before getting back into his shiny Mercedes and whizzing off into the city traffic.

Your legs shake in your stilettos, partly because you're not used to walking in anything other than your beat up converse but mostly because of the reassuring smile Seokjin sends your when when he see's you glancing around nervously.

You're in a upper class part of town, the street lined with shiny black cabs and designer boutiques with French names you can't even pronounce. You can't help but feel out of place, like the eyes of every passerby see right through your immaculate rich facade and see you for the ordinary kitchen girl that you really are.

"Don't worry," He leans down, pressing his lips to your ear so only you can hear as he pretends to adjust your diamond necklace. At least you think its diamond...what would you know? "You look beautiful. Just relax."

A small smile plays on your lips. Beautiful. It makes your heart flutter like a butterfly between cupped palms, even though you know it shouldn't. That's been happening a lot lately, and you don't like how easily he can make you melt. Snap out of it! You tell yourself.

Still, his reassurance makes you feel more at ease than before, and you straighten your shoulders with a new found confidence as Seokjin takes your hand in his, even if it is just for show. You have to make the fiance thing believable, after all.

"You still haven't told me where we're going." It's true -- Seokjin is good at keeping secrets. Probably because he knew that you'd say no to most of the crazy situations he seemed persistent on putting you in.

"Don't hate me," Seokjin eyes you carefully. You narrow your eyes, with a nod that says go on. "Hyejin wants us to go dress shopping."

"You bought me this new dress this morning?" You smooth down the front of the floaty summer dress that hugs your figure.

He coughs, eyes averting yours. "Wedding dress shopping."

That's when you come to a stop on the sidewalk outside of an elegant white-brick bazaar, eyes widening at the glaringly white dresses styled on mannequins that stare at you from behind the floor to ceiling windows.

Seoul Bridal - For All Your Wedding Dress Needs.

Your blood runs cold. Oh no.

You grip his hand tighter. "I'm going to kill you."

Seokjin is already pushing open the door with a chuckle that mingles with the tiny tinkling bell that rings out and announces your arrival. Too late to kick off your stiletto's and run.

"After you, sweetheart."

"Welcome to Seoul Bridal," A pretty lady with curly hair in a striped pant suit welcomes you inside with a hand shake. Her name tag says Wheein, and you can't take your eyes off the red lipstick on her teeth. "It's nice to finally meet you, Seokjin."

"The pleasure is all mine," Seokjin responds, voice deep with a suave charm that makes the girls behind the reception desk giggle unashamedly. For some reason you have to resist sending a glare their way, not missing the way your chest burns when Seokjin flashes them a dazzling smile. "Hyejin said you had some ideas for Y/N's wedding dress?"

"Of course. We have everything ready. We just need to get some measurements first." She smiles at him courteously, then whips a tape measure out of her trouser pocket which she wastes no time in wrapping around your waist. "Arms up, please." She murmurs as she slides the glasses balanced on top of her head behind her ears so she can get a better measurement of your shoulder width. You send an eyeroll Seokjin's way when you hear him snort bemusedly at the sudden man handling.

While Wheein bites the cap off a pen with her teeth and scribbles down the size ratio of your waist to your hips for future reference, you finally get the chance to take in the boutique properly. The sweet scent from the bouquets of white roses all over the room fills the air and the walls are painted a blush pink to match the faux fur rugs. Streams of sunlight pour through the chiffon curtains making the racks of blindingly white wedding dresses of all sizes and designs glow invitingly.

"Which one am I trying on?" You ask absentmindedly, nodding towards the sea of satin and lace hanging delicately from pink hangers.

Wheein looks up confused, then her nose wrinkles with distaste."Oh, none of these darling. You deserve the very best." She starts walking quickly towards a back room, heels click clacking as she beckons you to follow her with a crook of her finger. "We received some luxury designs from two of our best designers in London and Milan just this morning -- oh! And it looks like the dress from Paris just arrived!"

She shuffles you and Seokjin into a private dressing room, seating you on an elegant couch upholstered with grey velvet. Seokjin picks up one of the gossip magazines on the coffee table and helps himself to the complimentary cupcakes, all while you wring your hands together nervously, Wheein emerging from the large closet with three white garment bags.

"Here they are! Oh, how exciting." She claps her hands together with a beaming grin in your direction. With a flick of her wrist she removes all three bags, revealing three of the most beautiful dresses you've ever seen. You must look dazzled, because Wheein crosses her arms triumphantly. "Hyejin knew you'd like them. Just wait until you see the veils..."

She disappears into another room, and you're left gawking at the garments set in front of you like a goldfish. Fingers trembling, you reach out and touch the first one. It has a giant poofy skirt, like something you imagine a princess would wear, and you imagine how it would float down the aisle like a real life cloud. The second is more slinky, with shiny beads littering the bodice that glint silver beneath the glow of the chandelier and the third is made from gorgeous lace that shows skin in all the right places.

"How much did these cost?" You hiss to Seokjin, ripping your hand away like your touch alone might burn a hole in the fabric.

"Hm?" He says through a mouthful of cake, eyes widening when he takes in the dresses for himself." Too much, probably. Hyejin went a little over board but honestly, these aren't as bad as I was expecting." Seokjin runs his hand over the lace one, and nods approvingly. "You should've seen the rejects. One had a trail longer than my monster coc-"

"I can't try on any of these!" You splutter, arms hugging your torso. They're too beautiful for someone like me, is what you want to say, but you don't. "I'll look dumb."

"Just do it." He leans back against the wall with a roll of his eyes. Like this is all nothing to him. "It's not like you actually have to get married in one of them."

Ouch. His words sting, even though you know they're true, and you're reminded of the real reason you came here in the first place. It makes your stomach turn, how he can go from the sort of sweet Seokjin you know when you're alone to the cold, arrogant rich guy in the drop of a hat.

You turn away so he doesn't see your frown, when you catch a glimpse of something white in the corner, poking out from beneath a dust sheet. Your curiosity gets the better of you, and before you can help it you're crossing the room and ripping the sheet away to reveal another dress; except this one makes something in your chest flutter.

It's simpler than the others. Tiny white roses are stitched into the sleeves, the neckline dipping into a V shape where the bouncy chiffon skirt meets the satin waistband. It's straight forward, uncomplicated. Just how you like it.

"Have you decided which one you want to try on first?" Wheein's shrill voice calls, but it's drowned out by the blood pumping through your ears.

"That one." You breathe, pointing at the dress that you can't help but reaching out to touch.

"That one? Are you sure, darling, I'm sure we can find something more fancy--"

"No!" It comes out too loud, and you cover it with a cough, turning to send her a pleading smile. "I mean, no, no thank you. This one, please. I want to try it on."

"You know, when Hyejin told me Seokjin was finally getting married I just knew you would have to be something special." Wheein says once you're safely alone in the dressing room, away from prying eyes and mischievous ears. "Suck in."

"Hm?" It's all you manage to get out as you're strapped into a boned under-corset that feels like its trying to squeeze every last breath out of you. You're so close you can smell her floral perfume.

"It's just that I've had so many wedding dresses made that never made it to the aisle. Honestly I was starting to think Seokjin would never settle down..." She trails off, lip tugged between her teeth as she helps you step into the floaty white dress, tying the belt into a bow at your waist before stepping back to admire her handy work. "But now I see what made him change his mind. You make a beautiful couple."

"Oh." You realise she's looking at you, a blush creeping up your neck. "Right."

If only she knew the truth.

You start to turn towards the mirror, but she plants a hand on your shoulder hurriedly. "Nuh uh. No peeking yet." You feel your face drop. "Don't look so worried. It looks perfect. He's going love it."

"I...I have to show him? Now?" You shift uncomfortably. The shoes are rubbing your soles and the sleeves sort of itch. "Isn't it bad luck for the groom to see the wedding dress before the big day?" You ask sheepishly.

"This is just the rought blueprint," Wheein reassures. "It doesn't count."

"I..." Your voice breaks. The thought of Seokjin sat out there with his roaming eyes seeing you in this dress makes your stomach churn. "I'm nervous."

"Don't be. Save that for the big day." She bites her lip, stepping back to look you up and down like there's something missing. Her eyes light up, and she digs around in a leather trunk in the corner to retrieve a sparkly tiara which she tucks neatly into your hair. "There. Perfect. Now lets not keep him waiting, hm?"

"Holy shit."

The words leave your mouth before you can think better of it.

Your reflection stares back at you, wide eyed and awe stricken, except it doesn't look like you at all.

The dress is beautiful. There's no denying it. It hugs your waist perfectly and the skirt waterfalls down to your ankles in just the right way. Wheein tugged your hair over your shoulders so the sweetheart neckline shows off just the right amount of collar bone, tiara sparkling beneath the soft light. A matching veil partially covers your face, and you've never felt more beautiful than you do now.

It's almost enough to make you want to believe that this is all real. That you're marrying Seokjin. That you get to walk down the aisle looking like...this.

"I don't see why I have to get all dressed up, Wheein, it's no big deal -- woah."

The door flies open, and your eyes snap up to meet Seokjin's in the mirror.

He has half of his seventh cupcake hanging out of his slackened mouth, his hair gelled back and tousled to reveal his forehead, and his piercing brown eyes that can't seem to decide where to look, glancing up over your exposed shoulders and down to your ass and back again, like he can't get enough.

He's lost his casual slacks from earlier, seemingly under Wheein's instruction, now clad in a black suit and matching shiny-toe'd shoes. His tie hangs slack around his neck, like he tugged it loose, and he fiddles awkwardly with his cuff links as he tries to get a grip over his roaming eyes.

"Y-Y/N you look--"

"Beautiful, right?" Wheein straightens his shirt, fastens his cuff links and knocks him beneath the chin to remind him to close his gawking mouth with a tut. He nods, speechless. "I'll leave you two to talk."

The door shuts behind her, and the room suddenly feels quieter than now you and Seokjin are alone, him on one side of the room, you on the other. You dare to meet his eyes and you find them staring straight at you, the glint that's usually there replaced with a wonder that's soft and gentle around the edges. You melt beneath his gaze.

He clears his throat, scratching a phantom itch at the back of his neck. It's the first time you've seen Seokjin seem sort of...awkward?

"C'mere." His voice is low, filled with something you can't quite put your finger on. "I want to see you."

You have to remember how to get your feet to work, hesitantly putting one in front of the other to cross the room. Seokjin stands with his palms clasped, a small smile playing on his lips as you close the space between you, and you swear you can hear the wedding bells already.

After what feels like ages, you stop a few paces away from him. He steps towards you carefully, flipping the veil out of your eyes like he's done it a million times before.

"Hey." You whisper. You don't know what else to say, but it makes Seokjin laugh and the sound makes your chest squeeze.

He looks dapper in his suit, like a real groom, and as he leans in closer, closer, until there's barely any distance between you, you can smell his cologne.

Your eyes fall shut instinctively. You almost swear when you open them there'll be a pastor and a pair of rings and Seokjin will be saying I do--

"You scrub up pretty well, huh?" His breath tickles your ear, and your eyes snap open to punch him in the chest playfully.

"I could say the same for you, mister."

A thumb grazes your jaw, tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. "Whoever gets to marry you is one lucky bastard."

The pounding in your chest is so loud you're sure the whole store can hear it. His lips are inches from yours, parted and plush. You've kissed them plenty of times before but only in the height of passion. Never like this. Not when his touch feels like a jolt of electricity running straight from his body and right into yours.

Just when you think he's going to give in and close the distance, he turns your face in his palm and plants a peck on your cheek. It's soft, careful. Like he's not really sure of it himself, his hand running through your hair before he takes a couple steps back with a shake of his head. Like he almost did something he shouldn't have.

"What time do you have to be at work?"

The question breaks you out of your trance. You realize he's staring at you expectantly, waiting for an answer. "Oh--not until this evening." You manage to choke out.

"Good. Then you're all mine for the afternoon." He grabs another cupcake from the stand and disappears behind one of the fitting room curtains. "Hurry and give the dress back to Wheein and I'll call Pierre to come pick us up."

"Where are we going?"

You hear him snort. "You'll see."

"This is where you wanted to take me?"

The late afternoon sun sparkles on the surface of the Paradise lake like diamonds. It's peaceful here at this time of day, the gardeners already disappearing into the lounge for a late lunch, rows of pastel canoes tied up to the dock bobbing in time with the chirping birds.

"Well?" Seokjin huffs impatiently. He's stood in the hull of a dark blue canoe that he stole from the boat shed — or borrowed, as he put it, since everything here belongs to him anyway — hand extended towards you. "Aren't you getting in?"

You narrow your eyes and nod towards the sign that says NO BOATS ON THE LAKE AFTER 4PM in curly gold letters. "Isn't that breaking the rules?"

Seokjin raises a brow, jangling a set of keys. "I own this place remember? Besides, I stole the boat worker's keys so we can stay for as long as we want."

The breeze ruffles your skirt, a shiver running down your spine when you peer over the edge of the dock and see your sheepish reflection staring up at you from the water, rippling and watery around the edges. You never did like deep water, and the thought of getting in that rocking capsule of death makes your stomach churn.

"It looks cold," You point out, grimacing at the clear blue water. "What if we fall in? Do you even know how to steer this thing?"

Seokjin shoots you a look, like you just said the dumbest thing he's ever heard. "Pfft. Of course. I've been taking rowing lessons since I could toddle."

Of course he has. You roll your eyes. Rich kids, huh?

"Oh come on, it's fine!" He jumps up and down as if to demonstrate just how safe, but the boat just rocks manically side to side and he has to grab the dock to steady himself before he plunges straight into the lake. He flashes you a sheepish smile. "See?"

You cross your arms, unconvinced. "Yeah, I think I'll pass."

Seokjin slumps into the canoe with an exaggerated sigh. "Well goddamn, I'm sorry for wanting to do something nice. We don't get much alone time so I thought—" He waves his hand at you in frustration, starting to unravel the rope keeping the boat secured to the dock. "You know what, fuck it, I'll just go by myself—"

"Wait!" Something about the disappointed frown on his face makes you change your mind. Fuck it. "I'm getting in."

He pauses, and then his lips curve up into a small smile. Not his usual too-big-too-polite smile; the kind of smile you reserve for special moments. The glint in his eye is back, and if your legs weren't already jelly, they are now.

"I knew you couldn't resist me." He stands up and puffs out his chest, offering you his hand again, which you take this time.

"Don't be an idiot." You flush. "The lake just looks inviting today."

"Whatever you say, sweetheart." He chuckles, before his arm wraps around your waist so he can throw you over his shoulder and tip you into the canoe.

"Seokjin!" Your knuckles whiten with how hard you grip the edge of the boat that tilts left to right sickeningly with the impact of your limp body being man handled into the hull. "Be careful!"

"Okay, okay. Just sit back. Relax. Enjoy the view..." You wobble over to the wooden seat opposite him, grateful for the way the boat balances out on the surface of the water. "Let me take care of everything."

You have to admit the view is beautiful. Dangling your hand over the edge of the boat, you let your fingers swirl through the cool water, and listen to the hum of a speedboat nearby. The sun has turned the water a yellowish hue, like liquid gold.

When you look back up at Seokjin, the sight of his lightly perspiring skin glowing beneath the stream of light as he unties the left oar practically takes your breath away. You almost want to reach out and see what it would feel like to touch his cheek, run your hand down his chest where his flesh peeks out from the top of his dress shirt...

"Ah, shit!"

There's a light splash and you're snapped out of your trance, a pair of sheepish eyes staring back at you.

Yeah. Never mind.

Seokjin peers over the edge of the boat, watching as one of the oars floats into the middle of the lake. The canoe has already floated just out of reach of the dock, so without it you are stranded.

You let out a panicked groan. "I thought you knew how to steer this thing?"

"I do!" He grunts, a flush creeping up his neck. "Besides, I said I knew how, not that I was good at it."

He fumbles with the latch beneath his seat which opens to reveal a secret compartment, inside of which are a pair of life jackets, and, much to your relief, a spare oar.

"Aha! We're saved." Seokjin pulls it out and waves it at you with a look of satisfaction.

You roll your eyes and settle back into your seat as Seokjin grasps both oars and starts to row. "Wow, my hero."

"Don't thank me too hard." He snorts.

You shoot him a look, and he breaks into laughter, the sound melodic enough to have you joining in and before you know it you're both chortling uncontrollably. It feels easy, nice.

Your laughter dies out into a hazy giggle, and you shut your eyes, letting the sun caress your face.

"You're nothing like how I expected you to be, y'know."

Seokjin splashes you gently with the oar. "What did you expect?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Stuck up, selfish rich dude with an ego complex?" You snort, but Seokjin's chuckles have disappeared now. His brows are furrowed when you open your eyes, and you feel sort of bad for ruining the ease that had settled between you. You shift awkwardly. "Can you blame me?"

"Huh," The boat floats beneath the shade of a weeping willow, the scent of white blossoms and freshly cut grass filling your senses, and Seokjin hauls the oars into the boat so he can rest for a while. "You know, it pisses me off that everyone sees me that way. I don't want to be that guy."

"Why?" You're surprised by his honesty. There's a sincerity in his voice that you've never heard before.

"I just...I just try and fit in. To make everyone happy, I guess."

He avoids your gaze, looking out over the lake with his chin in his palm and his shoulders slumped. Your heart twists.

"If it helps, I don't see you as that guy anymore." You shrug. "When we first met I thought you were just like everyone else at Paradise. But you're...different from everyone around here. Nice. Underneath all the designer of course." That earns a snort from him. "Why do you hide that side of yourself?"

"You're hardly one to talk about hiding, kitchen girl." He crosses his legs and points a finger at you. "One minute you're calling me a douche and shooting arrows like an Olympian and the next you're getting all insecure when I call you pretty or something."

You feel a blush rise in your cheeks. Insecure? Is that how he sees you?

"Do not." You mumble.

"You act like you're so much better than me for being good, and then have a fit when I say something nice."

"Well, I never asked you to call me pretty. That wasn't part of the deal." You pick at an invisible piece of lint on your skirt. "I figured you were humouring me."

Seokjin's eyes turn serious. He leans forward, like he's about to take your hand or something but changes his mind.

"I know...that what we have is weird. I know I ask you for a lot, and we're supposed to be strictly friends with benefits but—" He sighs, trying to find the right words."I like spending time with you. Like this. Just us."

You feel giddy, suddenly shy beneath his gaze. "I do too."

"And I always mean what I say, Y/N." A breeze ruffles his hair, and he shoots you a grin. "Like I said earlier, whoever gets to call you theirs is one lucky bastard."

I'll be yours, you want to say, but you know it would be futile; someone like Seokjin could never belong to you, and that's exactly why you don't belong here.

"Oh shit."

Before you can respond, Seokjin's expression is turning grave as you both watch with matching horror as the spare oar splashes into the lake.

"Please tell me there's another one underneath there." You nod towards the storage compartment with wide eyes.

"Nope." He scratches his neck awkwardly and shrugs."That was our only one."

"Then shouldn't we call for help or something?!"

"No, I have an idea. You lean over the edge and I'll hold your legs."

"Me?! Why can't you do it."

"Because I'm heavier, duh? I'll tip the boat." He links his fingers together pleadingly. "At least try, or else we'll be stuck out here all night!"

You cup your hand around your watch face to block the glaring sun. Your kitchen shift starts in forty five minutes and you can't afford to be late. Namjoon will certainly fire you on the spot.

"Fine!" You wobble to your feet and slide over to his side of the boat. "But you better not let go, or I'll kill you."

Seokjin salutes. "Scouts honour."

Before you can change your mind, Seokjin has both hands wrapped around your thighs and you're sent hurtling head first over the edge of the boat, face inches from the water's surface.

With a grunt you extend your arm, and your fingertips barely brush the oar, sending it further away.

"Fuck!" You call over your shoulder. Seokjin is red in the face with extortion, and you feel the boat rock as you lean further out. "I can't go any more or we'll tip!"

"Just a little more!" Seokjin yells back. "You've almost got it."

"Okay...almost..." You shift a little more and aha! The oar is just within your grasp! Until you hear a low buzzing coming from behind you, and you hear Seokjin yelp, his grip on your legs starting to slacken... "Jin? what are you doing?"

"Get off me!" He yells, letting go of you in favour of slapping something on his shoulder wildly, and before you can give him a piece of your mind the canoe loses its balance and tips upside down, sending the pair of you hurtling into the lake.

You manage to hold your breath before you go under. The water is an icy shock on such a warm summers day, your limbs flying into action and scrambling wildly until you break the surface and take a heaving breath.

Wiping the tendrils of dripping hair from your eyes, you glance around for Seokjin, but he's no where to be seen.

"Seokjin?" You call, panic evident in your voice. "Where are you?"

Bubbles appear on the surface of the water, and before you can let out a sigh of relief, a hand grabs your ankle and yanks you back under the water.

When you surface, choking and spluttering, you're beneath the cover of the upturned canoe. Seokjin grins at you, whole and in one piece and perfectly alive, and you can't help but feel pranked.

"Hey, sweetheart." He drawls, running his fingers through his soaking hair. The shadow of the rippling water reflects on the underside of the canoe, turning his skin a pale blue. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Seokjin!" You yell and he jumps when you start splashing him wildly. "What the fuck was that?"

He shields his face with his hands."It was a bee! I'm allergic."

"So? I was hanging out of a fucking canoe!"

"Oops." He's chortling now, and it echoes beneath the canoe. "Did I let go?"

You splash him again, and he grabs your hands with his to stop you from sending another tsunami his way. His palms are warm compared to your clammy ones and his eyes are watching you fondly, but that just pisses you off even more. "Okay! Okay! I get it, I'm sorry okay?"

"You idiot! Now I'm all wet and I'm totally going to smell like trout at work and—"

"Just shut up for a second would you?" A hand brushes the tangles of wet hair from your cheek, and before you know it a pair of plump lips are crashing against your own.

"Mmf!"

You're surprised at first, but there's something so tender in the way his hand cups your chin to pull you closer, how his arm curls around your waist, and before you know it you're grabbing him by the collar and kissing him back wildly like the world is ending and you're the last two people on earth.

"You're kinda cute when you're mad." Is what Seokjin whispers against your lips when he pulls back, out of breath.

"Oh." You breathe, a smile beginning to play on your lips. "Okay."

It's like you're in your own little bubble. Just Seokjin and you. You and Seokjin.

Until it bursts.

"Holy shit! Are you guys okay?" The sun is glaringly bright when the canoe is ripped away from your heads, and you have to squint through your fingers to see the figure swimming towards you.

"M-mr Kim?"

Seokjin jumps back from your body at the sound of his title, his hand letting go of your wrist. It falls into the water limply.

"That's me." He coughs, straightening his tie, like he isn't soaking wet and it's somehow going to make him look more professional.

"I didn't know you were rowing today..." Your eyes focus, and you instantly recognise Taehyung, the Paradise lifeguard. You have met a couple times at staff meetings.

Shit. You turn your face to the side, and hope he won't look to closely.

"I wasn't." Seokjin deadpans, gesturing to his soaking appearance. "Y/N and I thought we would go for a swim."

"I— oh." You muffle a chuckle at Seokjin's sarcasm and the wide eyes of the life guard who seems utterly stunned.

It doesn't seem so funny when he turns to you suddenly, eyes scrutinising, and offers you his elbow.

"Here take my arm, we have to get you two dry."

You glance at Seokjin carefully, but he just nods for you to go ahead, so you take Taehyung's arm and let him pull you back to the dock, Seokjin leisurely kicking on his back behind you like he doesn't have a care in the world.

Once you're safely on dry land, Taehyung disappears into the boat shed before returning with a pair of towels which he drapes around your shoulders with a concerned look.

"Take these. You aren't hurt, miss?"

"No." Seokjin answers for you with a roll of his eyes. There's a bite in his tone. Is he...jealous?

"Good, this is why we say no boats after 4..." Taehyung sends Seokjin a stern look, and you feel the tension rise when he just clicks his tongue in response. "I should really report this to my supervisor."

"We won't do it again," Seokjin's eyes bulge when you grab Taehyung's forearm. The lifeguard seems surprised himself, looking you in the eyes for the first time. You turn on a sickly sweet tone and bat your lashes. "We can keep this between us, hm?"

"I...I suppose so." Taehyung coughs, but then his eyes narrow. "Hold on a second. Do I know you from somewhere?"

Your mouth turns dry. "I..."

"No!" Seokjin jumps in between you, wrapping a protective arm around your shoulder. "She's not from around here."

His face has turned a deep shade of red, and you can feel his heart beating rapidly against your back. Anyone would think he was embarrassed. Then again, what did you expect? You are just a kitchen girl after all.

You nod slowly. He sighs with relief. "No. We've never met."

Taehyung scratches his chin, stepping back to get a better look at you. "It's just you look super familiar..."

"We have to be going now!" Seokjin stands up suddenly and grabs you by the hand. He squeezes extra tight, swinging your interlocked fingers where Taehyung can clearly see them. "Thanks, uh...Taehyung?"

"My pleasure, Mr. Kim." The lifeguard looks startled by Seokjin's sudden departure, but steps back to let you pass. "Be careful next time okay?"

"Yup, we will kid."

"Thanks!" You call over your shoulder, as Seokjin is already dragging you away from the lake and up the steps to the grand veranda that lines the resort.

"Thanks?" He rolls his eyes. "Y/N, the lake is like a foot deep, it's not like we were gonna drown."

"He was nice..." You bump his shoulder playfully. "Why? You jealous?"

His cheeks flush pink. "No! Of course not, I just...didn't like the way he looked at you."

You reach the top of the steps, and Seokjin slows down to a leisurely walk once he's in the clear. From here you can see the whole of the resort, sprawling greenery and luxury living in all its glory.

"Speaking of, that was a close one." You laugh. "He totally almost recognised me."

"Yeah." Seokjin laughs too, but then his face drops. "You're right. That was close."

"Seokjin?"

He stops, and turns towards you. His hand drops to your waist, lifting you up so you're sat on the balcony's edge, and then his mouth is capturing yours once again.

This time something feels different. It's desperate, but timid. Passionate but broken. It leaves you breathless.

He pulls away first.

"Jin, what just happened—"

"I..." He swallows thickly and looks away. "I shouldn't have done that. I've gotta go. I'm sorry."

It's then, as he turns and hurries down the back staircase towards the plaza and leaves you all alone on the veranda, that you realise you had never let go of his hand, not even for a second.

"I had fun tonight." Seokjin says as he drops you off at the Paradise gates after an evening spent perusing high fashion wedding venue magazines with Hyejin over tea and finger sandwiches. "Hyejin looked like she was on the verge of a stroke when I suggested walking down the aisle to The Thong Song."

Seokjin boasts a simple T-shirt and tailored pants tonight, the turtle neck draped over his shoulder unnecessary on such a warm and sticky summer night blessed by the lingering caress of the day's blazing sun. The drive slopes downwards, Seokjin's angular shadow a contrast against the twinkling lights that blur Paradise into a picturesque backdrop of pristine white brick, and a warmth spreads through your chest as he beams at you.

"I thought it was a fine choice," You muse, suppressing a giggle when you think back to the way Hyejin dropped her teacup at Seokjin's suggestion, eye twitching in disgust. "We're not even engaged yet and she already has our entire wedding planned out."

Oops. Seokjin stiffens. Your laughter comes to an abrupt stop, face reddening with embarrassment at your slip up. Of course you aren't engaged. You never will be. At least not to each other.

He's been weird like that, lately. Ever since that day at the lake when he left abruptly, seemingly shaken up, you've been walking on egg shells around him. One wrong word could send him flying away with that same scared look in his eye. And honestly, you still don't understand why.

All you know is that things have been different since you almost got caught at the lake. Sure, you've continued to hook up like normal, but Seokjin seems to be making a conscious effort to be more distant around you. You haven't talked about what happened that afternoon on the veranda, but it's clear something did; Seokjin hasn't kissed you since.

If Seokjin notices your poor word choice, he doesn't mention it. "Pretty sure she has my entire life planned out too." He murmurs almost bitterly, despite his face boasting a smile that doesn't quite meet his eyes. You figure it's better not to press him further.

He walks beside you to the end of the drive in a relative silence that feels all too loud — not awkward per se but filled with a definite unspoken tension that has you hiding behind your hair, eyes trained to the ground because you don't know how you are supposed to look at Seokjin when it was just you and him.

Moments like this, not heightened by passion or under the watchful eyes of his family are rarities. You take a deep breath and try to savour the taste of geraniums which lingers in the air from the gardens and the closest thing to normal you have ever experienced around Seokjin.

Despite the the emotional distance Seokjin seems intent on keeping in place, every physical step seems to edge you closer to him, eyes trained to the way his shoes sidestep until you are practically shoulder to shoulder. Seokjin doesn't so much as look at you as he does so and you are content to think he is too deep in his own thoughts to notice the way your bodies cling to each other like magnets, until the tips of his fingers brush against your palm in a delicate touch that may have been perceived as intimate had he not ripped it away with a pained expression, like he touched an electric fence or something.

You have admit that you felt it too. The spark as they describe it in romance movies. It was more of a tingle really, warm and fuzzy as it fizzed all the way from your hand to a spot in your chest suspiciously close to your heart that was beating a little faster now as you imagine how it would feel if he took your hand in his.

Except he doesn't. And when you glance up at him he is no longer engaged with his own thoughts but rather staring at you with a questioning look, brows slightly furrowed, and embarrassment replaces the fuzz in your veins when you consider for a moment that perhaps he was reading your mind and the completely inappropriate thoughts for a fake bride to have for her fake husband along with it.

The flush that caresses your cheeks is nearly as vibrant as the rose bushes which line the drive, perfectly pruned and as beautiful beneath lantern light as they are in the day and a perfect reminder of your embarrassment as you create a relative distance between your body and his. That way you were sure you could keep your hands - and your thoughts - strictly to yourself.

Far too quickly you find yourself turning the corner onto the street where you always part ways, the stoney gravel evening out into the same boring old scuffed concrete that winds through the entire city, a clear indication that you were leaving behind the Paradise grounds and entering the not so pristine visual of reality.

Usually you were glad to be on your way, sick of talking about neck lines and lace types and the way your shoulders ached from nodding politely at people who got wine drunk on weekdays but tonight you feel like you could keep walking with Seokjin forever in this strange bubble of unspoken words.

But you know as soon as he stops dead beside you that the bubble has already burst, floating away just out of your grasp like the false reality you live at Paradise.

"I'll be going then." It's quiet out here, not a trace of the music from Jazz night at the bar or the laughter of couples crossing the plaza to their suites after a few too many Chardonnays. Seokjin opens his mouth and then closes it again while you fidget awkwardly. "Thanks for a good night."

The way you say it sounds like he took you on a real date, one that you were supposed to thank him for. It's too late by the time you realize that a boundary has been overstepped when Seokjin doesn't return the genuine smile you shoot him as you turn to leave.

"Wait!" The click of your shoes against the sidewalk halts at the serious husk in his tone, jarringly loud against the silence. "I need to ask you something."

His face is partially lit by the street lamp you find yourself beneath, casting half of his face in a golden glow that emphasizes the shadow of his lashes against his cheeks when he closes his eyes, as if to briefly collect his words.

Despite your better judgement, probably blinded by the normality you had fallen into, you press him further. "What is it?"

"Listen Y/N..." Seokjin scratches the back of his neck and you shift awkwardly in front of him, chest suddenly tightening with a niggling dread. "You haven't told anyone about us have you?"

"Us?" Your eyes widen. Since when did Seokjin start referring to you as a pair? You tilt your head quizzically. "I mean, your sister and your parents know —

"No, I mean the things that we...do in private." The summer evening suddenly turns chilly. Seokjin must notice when your face drops, the way you hug your arms to try and keep hold of the warmth that had practically singed each of your nerve endings just a moment ago.

"Things?" You splutter. "Is that all they are to you?"

You can't help it. The way Seokjin talks when you are intimate, the way he kissed you so desperately that day on the veranda -- it made it feel like those moments meant more to him. He was damn convincing - when he told you that he wanted you, you believed him - and you can't help but feel cheated.

Seokjin's brow simply furrows, flummoxed by your sudden outburst. "Yeah, I mean we had an agreement — isn't that all they are to you?"

An agreement.

The way he says it sounds like your relationship is strictly business. As if he's paying you for a service - which, in his own way, you suppose he is. Sure, you knew he wasn't really going to fall in love with you in the way he told his family he loved you but you thought he at least felt something — no, you were sure he had at the lake. Maybe you were just confusing pleasure with intimacy.

Still, the way his finger points at you accusingly makes a hot rage rise in your chest but you simply take a shaky breath and plaster the closest thing to a grin on your features as you can muster.

"Of course they are." The sweetness in your voice is a little too forced, but it goes unnoticed on Seokjin who lets out a sigh of relief. "None of this means anything. I know that."

"Good. Then we're on the same page..." He still looks slightly unconvinced - you can just make out the way he narrows his eyes doubtfully in the dim light - but he doesn't have time to press further before a black car rolls into the drive and he clasps your wrist to pull you across the paving and into the shadows. "Watch out!"

Seokjin suddenly yanks you closer to him, your chest nearly pressed up to his. You almost mumble a thanks, idiotic enough to think that his only motive is to prevent you getting flattened by a Mercedes Benz nearly invisible in the night if not for the crunch of tyres against gravel.

But then you feel his breath hitch when he catches a glimpse of your white kitchen uniform reflected in one of the tinted car windows, sending a salute towards the security guard in the drivers seat with fingers crossed behind his back, and you silently condemn yourself for thinking he cared about anything other than his reputation even for a second. You go numb.

You look between your bodies where your hand dangles limply in his grasp. Just a moment ago you were envisioning how it would feel for him to hold your hand in his, the way his skin brushed yours enough to give you shivers. Now it just made the hollow ache in your chest throb with a cold emptiness.

Seokjin strains his neck, only releasing you from his hold when the glow of headlights disappears around a corner and you are smothered by darkness again.

Seokjin's sigh of relief stings. The words never leave his lips but you can tell what he was thinking. Phew, now I don't have to explain why I, almighty Kim Seokjin, was conversing with a staff member after hours. Lucky escape!

A smile appears on his face, as if you were supposed to share his relief. "So, same time tomorrow?"

You feel yourself stagger away from him in shock. Seokjin is many things but you didn't think he was heartless. It's enough to send you over the edge.

"Clearly we are not on the same page." You spit. "Actually, you know what? No. I'm busy tomorrow."

Seokjin scoffs, running a hand through his hair. "Doing what?"

"I have things to do." Your emphasis on the word makes his eyes widen,

"Oh great!" He barely raised his voice before glances behind him warily, making sure there was no one around to see him getting heated. When he turns back his voice is nothing but a harsh whisper. "And what do you expect me to tell my family, huh?"

"Tell them that your fiancé to be had to go do the job they actually pay her to do." The way he laughs breathily makes your fists clench at your sides as you turn on your heels and stalk down the street before he can see the way your face reddens with a combination of hurt and anger, though not before you are calling over your shoulder despite knowing it would only fuel the fire. "Unless you're too embarrassed to tell them who I really am."

"You don't seem to mind when you're cashing in your favours." He calls after you, hands on hips with a bitterness lacing his voice that makes your heart twist painfully.

You hear the way your pulse quickens, the lump in your throat growing bigger and bigger as you stop dead. "What?"

"Y/N, I didn't mean that I —"

"So that's what this is? You are embarrassed of me?" Your voice raises incredulously. "Is that why you've been so weird with me since Taehyung almost recognised me at the lake? You're scared someone will snitch on you to your rich friends?"

"No, I--"

"No what, Jin?" You let out a hollow laugh. "I thought I meant more to you than that."

Seokjin pinches the bridge of his nose. "It's just you and I...we could never be anything more, you know that right? I don't want you to get the wrong idea. We don't come from the same background and it would be..." He pauses. "Inappropriate."

"It's too late, anyway. Forget I said anything." Tears streak your cheeks hotly and you hide behind your hair, determined to hide your weakness from him. "This was a mistake."

You start to walk away, but then you're running, as fast as you can away from Paradise and all the hurt. The sound of Seokjin's tennis shoes hitting the concrete picks up as he follows you down the path, calling your name, and for a moment you think he's going to comfort you. Tell you that he was sorry and that none of this was meaningless to him after all.

But he doesn't.

"I'll text you!" Is the last thing he calls before you disappear around the corner out of sight. You want to sneak a look over your shoulder, see him standing there at the end of the street beneath the street light.

Instead you resist, letting the bitterness pooling in your stomach rise up and burn your throat like bile. "Don't bother!"

Either he listened or he didn't mean it when he said he would text you.

The anger that ran hot through your bloodstream after your fight with Seokjin has faded to nothing but an indescribable emptiness and regret.

You haven't heard from him in three days. That is a long time where Seokjin is concerned and completely out of character.

Even on normal days, when you had a day off from pretending to be his fiancé, Seokjin would find a way to make you laugh by sending you a low angle selfie from the dinner table at one of his father's business conferences or a cheeky message to let you know he'd just seen you walk past the golf court wearing the red sundress that he liked.

You couldn't remember when Seokjin became a normal part of your day. Just like brushing your teeth or washing your hair, you had become almost expectant of a vibration against your thigh at work or the ping! of your ringtone before you went to sleep or even a heated make out behind the restaurant when you just couldn't wait any longer.

So when it all suddenly came to a stop, you were sure you were going crazy. All you were left with was a feeling of emptiness, as if something vital was missing.

It wasn't even as if he owed you anything, not really - it was true that the romance wasn't real and even the sex was just sex to him; but at some point you had to admit you had crossed some kind of invisible barrier. In between lying to his family, public "dates" flavoured by champagne and hanging off his forearm at celebratory cocktail parties, you and Seokjin had become friends.

(Sort of. If you ignored the parts where his lips made you lose your breath or the night's that ended with his head between your legs.)

So god forbid you expected something from him after your fight the other night. A sign that he cared, if even a little bit. An apology for the way he'd deliberately tried to hurt you.

That's how you find yourself checking your phone anxiously on your kitchen shift breaks, refreshing your inbox obsessively and trying to ignore the heaviness weighing down your chest with each passing hour without even so much as one of the cheesy emojis he used way too frequently to be ironic lighting up your screen.

He even stopped dropping by the restaurant under the guise of a casual lunch like he usually did. You found yourself on edge, breath fogging up the glass of the window with your disappointment every time you heard the door zip open and you rushed to greet him, only to be met with someone utterly not Kim Seokjin.

You thought you saw his broad figure dipping into one of the other restaurants across the plaza instead one afternoon as you left work and you couldn't help but wonder if he shamelessly flirted with the kitchen staff there, too.

It hurts knowing that it was so easy for him to cut you out of his life completely when he had become such a constant part of yours. It hurts knowing that he probably wasn't even thinking of you when he was the only thing on your mind.

And to make matters worse, it seems that the tight smiles and vacant nods you shoot Jimin as he divulges the latest and greatest Paradise gossip he overheard while serving at some fancy dinner party last night didn't do a good job at hiding the melancholy gloom which hangs over your head.

He's still talking as you swipe your cards to check out of work, charmingly holding the door ajar for you to slip outside the restaurant where you told Jungkook you'd wait for him to join you.

The air is cooler than expected against your face, the first time that summer where the sky is covered by splotches of grey cloud that refuse to let any blue peek through like an ugly patchwork quilt that mirrors your ugly mood.

"Y/N, didn't your hear me? Mr Kim's wife literally grabbed him by the balls and threw him out of the building when she caught him cheating with the waitress — wait, are you okay?"

Jimin is already half way down the limestone stairs, too caught up in his own dramatic storytelling to notice the way you stand rigid at the top. The phone in your palm is lit up with the same three words that have haunted you all day — NO NEW MESSAGES — but Jimin's question breaks your trance for a moment.

"Huh? No, I'm fine." You assure, slipping the device into your back pocket, swallowing thickly and mustering up a watery smile you hope will appease him before he can ask any more questions.

It doesn't work.

"You've been acting weird all day." Your legs feel wobbly as you close the distance between you, like the very foundations of your body are beginning to give in to the weight that has set up camp in your chest no matter how hard you try to ignore it.

"I have?" Jimin is peering at you with narrowed eyes, not malicious necessarily but inquisitive. They narrow further when you sigh shakily, averting your gaze to the shirtless gardener who mows the green lawns that spread out as far as the eye can see into perfect lines, counting the distant rose bushes as a distraction from the impending tears that have begun to well. "I don't want to talk about it."

Jimin throws an arm around your shoulder a little too roughly to be comforting, following your stagnant gaze. "Damn he's kinda cute." The lack of witty remark from you when he lands a jokey punch to your shoulder seems to finally perk Jimin's attention. "Tell me, are you and Mr Kim Seokjin having trouble in Paradise?"

Jimin lets out a snort at his own pun before he spots the sullen look on your face, covering his impending chuckle with a cough and releasing you from his grasp to sling his hands in his pockets awkwardly. "Oh shit, really?"

You simply sniff in response, allowing that to be confirmation enough, slumping down onto the grand staircase and letting your face fall into your hands.

Jimin plonks down beside you, sidling up until your knees touch, the simple act of comfort making the tears that had been threatening to emerge all day prick hotly at the corners of your eyes.

"I messed up, Jimin." Your voice is muffled by your palms but that doesn't mask the way it wavers slightly, Jimin's hand immediately rubbing soothing circles into your back. "I think he's mad at me."

"Why?"

"Because I basically told him that I kind of have feelings for him—"

"You did what?" Jimin grabs you by the elbow, alerting the atention of a guy in a velour tuxedo leaving the restaurant who gives the hot tears staining your cheeks a funny look. "Hold up, go back. You have feelings for Seokjin?"

Even with vision blurred by tears you can see the wide eyed expression on Jimin's face. You cross your arms in a pout. "Well you don't need to say it like that."

"Like what?"

"Like the idea is completely crazy or something."

Jimin runs an exasperated hand through his hair. "So you mean the truth?"

It isn't the way he says it so much as the realisation that he is right that stings. You bow your head, a few silent tears rolling down your cheeks until you can taste their saltiness. "I know, I know. I'm not good enough for a person like him, I was stupid—"

Jimin shakes his head gently, placing his palms firmly on both of your shoulders and forcing you to face him head on. "Listen up because I'm about to serve you a cup of piping hot real shit, okay?"

You wipe your nose noisily on your sleeve, giving him a curt nod. "Okay."

"The reason you and Seokjin will never work out has nothing to do with you so I won't accept any of that mopey shit." Jimin shakes you vigorously as if he is knocking some sense into you, and you offer him a tearful giggle. "Truth is, Seokjin can't see a good thing when he has it because there is no room in his rich ass heart for anything other than money and his reputation."

"But—"

"No buts!" Jimin shucks up his sleeves until they cover his hands like paws, using the fabric to dab away your tears, unphased by the growing damp spots on both of his cuffs. "The sooner you realise that Seokjin's issues are not your issues the better."

Your tears are dry now. You're pretty sure Jimin's pep talk ended your momentary wobble but your voice still sounds slightly hoarse when you speak. "It just felt like more when we...you know..." You wave your hands around wildly hoping Jimin will fill in the blank, which he does with a click of his tongue.

"Then you need to stop sleeping with him immediately."

"What?"

"You know what I think?" Jimin links his arm with yours, pulling you alongside him. "I think that you're confusing intimacy with actual feelings."

Maybe he's right. It's natural for emotions to be heightened when Seokjin is making you literally fall apart beneath him, probably for him too which would explain the intimate things he had said. Perhaps all this time you were just confusing loving the way he made you feel for loving...him. After all, you had always thought the regular Seokjin was kind of an asshat at times. Of course you didn't have feelings for him!

"You know what? I think you're right." Jimin raises his eyebrows in surprise, as if he was expecting you to be harder to win around. You slap a palm to your forehead. "I can't believe I actually thought I caught feelings for him for a second."

"Happens to the best of us." Jimin grins. "If I was getting dicked down by that beautiful god of a man then I'd want to have his babies too. Imagine how cute they'd be..."

"Jimin!" You smack him playfully before leaning across to rest your head on his shoulder, his chuckles vibrating against your cheek. "You just basically told me he's an asshole."

"And I stand by that!" He defends, letting his own cheek rest against your hair. "But you can't deny that he is fucking inhumanely gorgeous..."

"Are we talking about Kim Seokjin again?" A dry voice appears somewhere behind, making you jump and pause your laughter. A glance over your shoulder reveals none other than Jungkook, arms crossed and a sullen vibe emanating from the way his thick brows furrow so deeply they almost connect. Come to think of it, he always seems to be moody where Seokjin is involved. Huh.

"Why? Are you gonna try and tell me that he's not that buff again?" Jimin scoffed, stiffening ever so slightly beside you and refusing to even glance in Jungkook's direction.

"No, I just don't see why we have to always talk about him." Jungkook puffs, blowing his bangs out of his eyes bitterly. "Besides, I just saw him outside the kitchen and his body isn't that good. I'd hardly say 'sculpted'."

Huh? Seokjin? Outside the kitchen...

Neither of the boys seem to share your bewilderment, launching into a spat heavy with a tension that had been building long before. "And what would you know, anyway?"

"I go to the gym!" Jungkook flexes his arm, earning a scoff from Jimin to which he frowns. "Look!"

"You saw Seokjin where?" You breathe, butting into the squabble and drawing two startled looks when you jolt to your feet, wiping off the back of your leggings.

"O-outside the kitchen...why? I assumed he was waiting for you..." Jungkook is wide eyed, blinking with a lack of understanding considering his previous absence. Jimin has already wrapped his hand around your wrist to pin you in place.

"He is?" You nibble your lip.

You imagine him leaning up against the wall outside the kitchen, probably looking at his watch impatiently as he waits for your shift to finish. He never could wait for long so perhaps he'd even already left, storming off to go let his anger out in a game of extremely competitive table tennis with a retired CEO in the lounge.

But there's a chance he is still there and that he was waiting for you and even though every fibre of your being screams that it is a bad idea, you just want to see if it was true. If he really was thinking about you. If you'd misjudged him after all and a part of him did care.

"Y/N this is a bad idea." You're already bounding down the steps when Jimin tugs you back to offer a slice of reality. "Remember what we just talked about? Not catching feelings." He draws the last word out and wiggles his eyebrows which only makes Jungkook even more confused.

"It'll be fine Jimin," You brush him off though it sounds a little like you are pleading with him. Carefully dislodging your wrist from his grip, you plaster a reassuring smile to you face that doesn't seem to appease his anxious foot tapping. "I won't let him get inside my head. I'm not confused anymore, see?"

"Fine. Knock yourself out." Jimin steps back, gesturing for you to go forth which you do far too quickly for his liking, flashing him a thumbs up before turning your back and disappearing down the steps before he can protest any further. "But promise to call me immediately if you get horny feelings again!"

The way your heart thumps in your chest as you speed walk around the building has to be unhealthy.

You slow down as you get closer to the corner that obscures the back of the restaurant from view, taking cover behind a bush pruned into a perfect ball.

There he is.

Your breath hitches. It's almost as if your brain tricked you into believing he was a figment of your imagination these past few days without him. Like you made the whole thing up. But no, here he is and he's breathing and he has blood pumping through him just like you and he's so real that it hits you like a freight train.

For the first time this evening, the sun pokes it's head out from behind the clouds, a small crack opening up in the sky that sends a stream of soft golden light cascading across him. And almost as if in unison, it feels like the light shines right through the Seokjin shaped cracks in your heart as you watch his eyes flutter shut at the kiss of warmth and his arms reach above his head to lean into the light in a leisurely stretch.

It almost feels like you are seeing him for the first time all over again.

If Seokjin didn't let out a sigh of impatience in exactly the way you imagined he would, shaking his head and throwing his hands into the pockets of his gym shorts in defeat, you would have been content to just watch from the sidelines like you promised Jimin you would.

Perhaps you wouldn't have rushed out from behind your camouflage of foliage, sending a garden gnome flying in a crash of broken china in your haste. And even more importantly, perhaps you wouldn't have found yourself calling out for him to stop.

"Seokjin!" Your voice sounds small but the word flies out before you can slap your hand over your mouth to keep it in. It's familiar on your tongue, like coming back home after a long trip, and you savour the taste.

"Y/N?"

Seokjin stills at the crunch of your shoes approaching him tentatively, shoulders squared as if weighing up his options - fight or flight? - and just as you think you are mistaken and he didn't want to see you after all, he's taking flight - straight towards you and drawing you into his arms in an uncomfortably tight bear hug.

His chest hits yours with a force that makes you literally lose your breath, hairs on your arms rising as you feel his warmth encapsulate you completely like a comforting blanket.

The sudden embrace stuns you to a shocked silence, arms pressed to your sides stiffly as he buries his nose in your hair and takes a deep inhale. Is Kim Seokjin smelling your hair?

You have to admit the scent of his cologne makes you giddy, a little woodier around the edges than you remember it to be which you put down to the still slightly sticky and sweaty gym clothes hugging his torso. Under normal circumstances you would've been grossed out but the heightened thump of your heart in your ears acts as an ample distraction.

For a moment you forget about Paradise and the argument and the door to the kitchen beside you that could open at any moment. It's just you and him again, and you're melting.

You could stay like this forever, if his grip didn't tighten considerably, as if he was trying to squeeze the breath straight out of you and hold that too, and you are pushing his chest away from your body with a cough. "Jin — can't breathe!"

Seokjin lets you go — reluctantly, settling for holding you at arms length instead — and you are sure you spot his neck flush at the nickname you used accidentally.

"Sorry." His gaze dips to your feet and then drags all the way back to your puzzled eyes as if he is taking all of you in, like you had changed since he last saw you or something as if that wasn't just three days before. A lazy smile appears on his face. "Missed you, that's all."

His words are slightly breathless and punctuated by a shake of his head as if he can't quite believe he's saying them either and the honesty is so unlike him it makes your chest ache.

"Then why didn't you call?" There's a snipe in your words that seems to jolt him out of his sunny disposition, mouth downturning into a frown, arms dropping from your shoulders and going limp at his sides instead as if he is coming to his senses. "You're the one that's been avoiding me."

His shoulders droop awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

"It just didn't make sense why you would stop talking to me—."

"No, not for avoiding you — well I am sorry for that," He explains. "I mean for the things I said. The other night."

You furrow your brows, stunned. "Why?"

"It was mean and...truthfully I couldn't face you because of it." He drags a hand down his face and presses his back to the wall in defeat, giving you a perfect view of the regret that makes his jaw tighten.

With a sigh you sidle up next to him, careful to leave enough space between you so that your arms don't touch. Deja vu masks the ordeal and you realise it's all too similar to the first time you met in this very spot, watching the very same plaza except today it's still bustling with life beneath the orange glow of the setting sun and you have to squint to see it clearly.

You clear your throat. "I thought it was because of the things I said. About us."

"No!" His exclamation is a little too quick, too loud, and he looks embarrassed, following it up with a gruff "Don't be stupid."

"Well don't worry. While you've been avoiding me I've had plenty of time to think it over and you were right after all."

His nose scrunches, a habit of his you've noticed before that gives him an air of innocence. "I was?"

"Yeah, I think I must have had a few too many glasses of champagne at dinner that night." Your laugh is hoarse with the effort it takes to force it past your lips. "I'm happy with our agreement how it is. You don't need to worry about me going all crazy on you again."

"That's...good." His adam's apple bobs. He seems unconvinced by his own words. "Good. I'm glad."

Then he smiles and your heart throbs so hard it could explode so you just smile back and join in with his nervous laughter.

"So we're okay?"

"We're okay."

There's nothing left to say; now it's clear where you both stand. So why is Seokjin opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish?

"Is that all you came here to talk about?"

His laughter stops, and then he coughs and puffs out his chest, returning somewhat to the cocky Seokjin you are used to.

"Actually I was thinking...it's getting kind of late. It would be bad mannered of me to let you walk home alone."

"Why? I always walk home alone?" Seokjin never seemed to possess the worry you can see in eyes before when he dropped you off outside the club and watched you disappear into the night multiple times a week.

"For protection. Just in case." He rolls his eyes, as if it should have been obvious.

"It's okay, I've got pepper spray in my bag plus it's like 5 PM—"

"No. Protection for me." He suddenly pleads. "My mind will start to wander if I go back to my apartment alone again."

Seokjin seems so serious you know you can't reject him now without your conscience taking a beating, so you choose to say nothing at all. You want to be there for him, but at the same time you know you're only going to get hurt. The toe of your shoe draws circles in the dirt. "I don't know what to say."

"How about you don't say anything and just come to my place instead?" Your neck snaps up. He's never invited you to his place before. It always seemed like an inappropriate boundary to cross considering you are hardly even friends let alone lovers. "That way we both win."

You smile and he seems relieved. "I guess, just for a little bit."

"Great! Think of this as you doing a favour for me."

"Again?" You roll your eyes teasingly.

"I repay you don't I?" He sees your face fall. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that—"

"I know." You butt in. "It's fine. Really."

A silence falls in the same way it did the night you fought and it seems neither of you know what to say next. Truthfully you're just glad he doesn't seem mad at you, his quiet company a familiarity that tells you nothing has changed between you.

That is until he leans in a little too close and his fingers brush your wrist. You swallow thickly and wait for him to push you away again, when you feel him hesitate.

This is supposed to be the part where he pushes you away again, looking at his hand in disgust or wiping it on the back of his pants like he touched something dirty.

Instead, he reaches between you to link his fingers carefully with yours. It's like you are suddenly filled with helium, at risk of floating away if the feeling of Seokjin's warmth beside you wasn't there holding you to the ground.

"Is this okay?" You ask with wide eyes, nodding down at where his slightly clammy palm smothers your own.

He nods. You melt.

"You were right, the other day." Seokjin squeezes your hand comfortingly. "I need to stop hiding how I really feel."

You've never been to the residents part of the resort before. You never dared. But truthfully, by the time you realise you are walking not floating, you are already half way across the plaza.

Seokjin guides you around the circular fountain spitting water from the mouth of a cherub, carried by the breeze as a fine mist that feels cold and refreshing against your hot cheeks and marches you up a marble staircase to the resident lodge which rises up out of the ground like a beautiful half moon of white brick, stylish balconies decked with jacuzzis, chiffon curtains and a sea of people who fit Seokjin's class perfectly.

A tired looking doorman stands posted to the entrance and despite feeling Seokjin stiffen beside you, he never lets go of your hand. Not even when the doorman gives you a once over, an eyebrow raising at your casual attire.

You wait for Seokjin to force the doorman to sign an oath of secrecy when his eyes widen at your interlinked fingers, except the moment never comes. He simply rubs his thumb across your knuckles soothingly, striding straight past the doorman and holding the gilded door open for you to slip through himself.

You mumble a thanks, letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding and hope Seokjin can't feel the way your heart thumps against your rib cage uncontrollably. For what reason you can't quite decide — is it because you're conditioned to fear getting caught with Seokjin or because he doesn't seem to care?

Seokjin doesn't let go of you until he has to press the elevator button, and it feels ten degrees colder when he does. Your curious eyes take in the perfumed lobby, grand staircase winding upwards as far as the eye can see, lined with a carpet that's intricately embroidered with gold thread. Paintings line the walls which makes the place feel like some sort of museum and you half expect someone to ask you for an entry fee.

Then the elevator's ornate doors open with a ping you thought only existed in movies and Seokjin's hand is back and shuffling you into the elevator at the small of your back, refusing to leave even once you are inside.

The elevator is lined with polished mirrors and you do a double take when you make eye contact with your reflection, nearly reaching out and tapping the glass to check they are real and not the kind you find at a carnival that make everything look distorted. The way Seokjin pulls you closer to his side makes you look like any one of the other normal couples who frequent the resort, if you ignore the way your baggy cardigan contrasts his head to toe designer outfit.

Seokjin's too busy humming along to the classical music which crackles through the speakers overhead to notice the way your gaze travels to him. You know he wants to make you think that none of this affects him like it does you and his unbothered attitude would have worked had you not noticed the way his cheeks have a pinkish tinge, even in the dim yellow glow of the elevator.

The elevator opens, and you follow him down the hall only to find out Seokjin lives in one of the penthouses. You shouldn't be surprised but when he swipes a shiny key card and the lock beeps with a little green light that tells you the door is unlocked, you can't help the way your mouth gapes. Almost as if you were expecting it to flash red instead, denying you entrance and reminding you that you didn't belong in a place like this.

"Aren't you coming inside?" Seokjin has already crossed the threshold, wiping his polished shoes on the gaudy WELCOME mat inside while you stand awkwardly in the hallway, peeping through the crack of open door. You suddenly feel self conscious in your cardigan and leggings, as if you should've dressed up or something.

Seokjin seems to sense your hesitation, fingers finding your wrist with a smile. "You'll catch a cold out there."

He tugs and you don't resist, letting your feet follow him inside. "It's summer. And we're inside, Jin."

"Well how would I live with myself if I took the risk?" The click of the door locking echos from the high ceiling and you swallow thickly knowing there's no going back.

Inside, the suite looks like a luxury hotel room, like every last penny from the royal Mint had lived and died there.

It's open plan, the grand chandelier glimmering in the evening sun casting miniature rainbows across a living room consisting of pristinely white sofas sporting an array of throw cushions that look as though they have never been moved, collecting dust in the same way as the open magazine on the marble coffee table and the empty coffee mug beside it that look like they were placed there to create the illusion of the space being lived in.

Everything feels a little too pristine, a little too perfect like it materialised straight out of a furniture magazine.

The far wall is entirely glass, floor to ceiling windows looking out over a view of the entire resort; with a squint you can just make out the soft lights of the restaurant you know well, reflection shimmering like gold dust on the surface of the undisturbed public pool. An array of caddy boys on the golf courts collect stray balls and haul clubs back into the lodge and beyond that the vibrant gardens, a blur of pink roses and green hedges from where you stand but still a pleasant sight against the evenings pale blue sky.

Seokjin hums to himself as he flicks on all the lights, disappearing around a corner until you can't hear the click clack of his shoes against the tile anymore. You don't know if you are supposed to stay with knees knocking in the living room or if he was expecting you to follow him; but you presume the latter is true when his voice rings out into the room, jolting you from your shameless study of his living space.

"Have you eaten?" You shake your head in a silent no even though he can't see it, somehow managing to get your legs to carry you beneath a decorative arch and into the kitchen where Seokjin stands with his head ducked into a fancy looking fridge - even the most basic of appliances seem high tech, a touch pad visible on the front for what purpose you don't want to even ask. "I don't know about you but I'm famished."

"I was on my way to find something to eat when we — when you saw me, actually." The correction is quick but it makes your stomach feel funny. Since when did it start to feel normal to refer to you and Seokjin as a "we", as if you are anything but his accessory?

"Perfect." He emerges from the fridge with an armful of tupperware boxes balanced beneath his chin, foot kicking the door shut before he dumps the entire load onto the marble kitchen island that separates you from him.

"How about you stay for dinner?" He flashes you a small smile, corner of his mouth blowing the bangs out of his eyes, and your heart practically skips a beat.

It's just a formality surely, the polite thing to do. The Seokjin you knew was usually eager to get you out of his hair.

He is looking at you expectantly, your throat suddenly dry as you try to muster a response, an excuse. The word that immediately crosses your mind is no. This is dangerous and you know it. But then the bite in your stomach is back and despite knowing an I shouldn't be here in the first place would have been more appropriate, your lips betray you with a simple, "Yes." And the way that Seokjin's face lights up in surprise has every regret falling away as you relish in the knowledge that he is actually happy to have you.

"I thought I would have to bargain with you. You're usually stubborn with me." Shiny bar stools sit tucked beneath the little kitchen bar set up beside him, a few expensive looking champagne bottles littered across the surface. He pats one of the plush cushions in a gesture for you to sit which you graciously do, even as you scoff at his words and silently wonder why someone who lives alone needs so many seats.

"Because you're usually trying to get me to do something ridiculous." You chide. "And besides, I'm hungry."

"So you're just using me for my cooking skills, huh? I didn't think you were that kind of girl." Seokjin eyes you cheekily, hands fiddling with the dials on the stove with a pout. "How do you turn this thing on?"

You let out a sigh of mock despair, joining him at the counter and turning the knob until you hear a familiar click as the gas ignites, basking the kitchen in a blue glow. "If your 'skills' end with me getting food poisoning I'll never forgive you Kim Seokjin".

"I think I can handle a simple pasta dish," He retorts, but not before sending a pot from the utensil rack crashing to the ground with a clatter. "Maybe I spoke too soon." He picks up the appliance, holding it out to you sheepishly, a flush caressing his cheeks now.

You click your tongue but in no way maliciously, instinctively filling the pot with water and pulling open a few drawers in search of some other equipment. "Where do you keep the spoons?"

"Top drawer." You hear him call, settling himself into the askew stool you previously occupied, kicking his feet up onto the opposite stool and making you internally wince when the soles of his shoes settle on the white leather cushion. "Can I ask you something?"

Something in his voice changes, a seriousness that you aren't used to with him. In fact the only time you'd ever heard it was last week on the lake, when he admitted he felt like an outsider at Paradise.

You dump the pasta and lean against the counter to face him. "Sure."

"Do you think I'm an asshole?" He asks quietly.

You pause. "Sometimes." Eyes narrowed, you let out a sigh. "Why?"

"I'm sorry." Seokjin sounds small, and he wrings his hands together awkwardly. "For making you do all this for me, and then acting like a douche."

You push his feet off the stool and take a seat opposite him. Your mouth is dry, so you say nothing. He looks at you expectantly. Like he's hoping his apology will make up for the stinging hurt that still lingers in your chest every time you remember the look of shame in his eyes when he almost got caught talking to you at the gates. You flash him a sad smile, and he sighs when he realises it's not enough.

"God, I'm so fucking lame. What normal guy has to get a girl to pretend to be his fucking fiance?"

"What normal girl agrees to pretend? If you're lame then I'm just as bad." You chuckle, somewhat bitterly. "If you're so embarrassed by me, why don't you just tell your family? Then you won't have to worry someone will find out who I really am."

There's a sharpness to your words that makes Seokjin wince.

"It's not that I'm embarrassed of you! I'm...embarrassed of me." Seokjin rushes. "I just can't tell them. It would break them if they knew we've been lying."

Oh. So all this time he wasn't afraid someone would find out your real identity...he was just worried about disappointing his family?

"I always knew I was going to marry some nice girl from upstate and take over Paradise one day," He continues. "But now it's actually happening and I'm realizing I'm not cut out for this."

His head falls into his palms, forehead creased. You can tell this has been weighing on his mind for a while, and part of you feels thrilled that he trusts you enough to confide in you.

"I want to be the man they want me to be but I don't know how much longer I can pretend."

You slide your hand over the counter and cover his. He looks up, surprised, when you give it a comforting squeeze.

"I think you're just scared." You whisper. "I know you Seokjin, and you'll be an incredible CEO."

He puffs out his chest. "Pfft, I'm not scared."

"You're scared you won't be as good of an owner as your dad." You say. "And you're scared that you won't love the girl who you marry like you're supposed to."

Seokjin falls quiet, like what you said hit a nerve. He frowns. "I know what it's like to love someone. And those other girls -- the ones my parent's tried to set me up with -- they were nice and all but... I didn't feel it with any of them."

"You can't force love." You offer him a sympathetic smile. "Sometimes it just pops up in the strangest of places. It just happens."

"You're right." He smiles back, and shakes his shoulders like a weight has been lifted. His eyes soften fondly. "Hey. How do you always seem to know exactly what to say?"

"One of my many talents,"You laugh as you instinctively start to dish up your meal. That's what working in a kitchen does to you. "Including making incredible pasta."

The smell of carbonara wafts through the kitchen, and he rubs his stomach gratefully.

"God I love you." Seokjin says breathily, threading his hands through his hair and looking at you in wonder.

"What?" You go slack, the metal spoon between your fingers hitting the ground with a tinny crash.

Seokjin blinks twice before rushing to cover up his mistake. "You know what I mean."

You do know. But a part of you wishes that you didn't know, that you could pretend that the words that spilled from Seokjin's lips were real and true and meant something.

Not that it matters anyway. You aren't in love. You are just pretending to be. So why does it feel like a ton of bricks smushed your heart when you realise this was probably the only time you would ever hear him say those words, even if he didn't mean them how you wished he would?

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth before it can start to wobble and bend to your knees to retrieve the spoon. Seokjin is already ahead of you, leaping out of his chair to grasp the metal at the exact same time.

A gasp passes your lips when his hand covers yours tightly, the contact accidental but enough to send tingles up your spine like it always does. Except this time, it seems he feels it too, because when you dare to look up he is staring at your almost interlocked hands in wonder.

"Is now a bad time to repay one of your favours?" His voice is hoarse.

"What—"

Seokjin's fingers hook beneath your chin, tilting your head towards him so that he can press his lips against yours in a tentative kiss, swallowing your words in transit.

The kiss is slow and languid, the way he slots his plump bottom lip between yours making you melt instantly. His cheeks are warm and soft in your hands as you cup them, the action feeling just as natural as the warmth blossoming in your chest when Seokjin moves his mouth in time with your own with an impossible tenderness.

He sighs into your mouth like he'd been waiting forever to do this, and you feel a similar satisfaction, finally able to curb the craving for him that has been aching inside you since your last encounter when he left you standing alone on the veranda.

Seokjin's fingers trace up your arms tentatively, hairs raising wherever they touch, before tangling them in the hair at the base of your neck and pulling you ever deeper into the kiss, not just with pure desire like you were used to but with a yearning to hold you closer. For the first time you let yourself succumb to your senses, protective guard over your heart shattering as you get lost in the scent of his woody cologne and the roughness of his simultaneously pillowy lips.

By the time he pulls back you are already breathless and he is too, lips parted slightly, breath tickling your nose.

"Sorry." The curve of his lips tells you he didn't mean it. He wanted to kiss you. You melt. "'S cause I missed you, that's all"

"C'mere." With a breathy laugh you pull him closer to you again by the collar, mouths crashing together in a tangle of teeth and tongue this time that makes you burn with a hunger to commit every caress of his lips to memory, blood running hot as he tugs your bottom lip between his teeth like he wants to devour you right then and there. "I want you."

His hands search your body making you shudder, swell of your chest pressed to his as he slips his burning hot palms beneath your thighs to hoist you onto the kitchen island, uncaring when the spice rack rattles precariously. His lips never leave yours, tongue sweeping into your mouth in a way that has you panting for more, suddenly desperate to feel his warmth against you without the damn barrier of your leggings between you.

"Wanna take you right here so bad." Seokjin breaks away, eyes glazed over and slipping from your swollen lips momentarily to take in your quivering body, slotting himself between your welcoming legs. "God, you drive me crazy."

His hair tickles your cheek when he lets his face fall into the crook of your neck as if accepting defeat, his self control hanging by a thread in the same way as yours.

"Then take me." It's hushed whisper but it makes Seokjin groan, his hands rubbing flat circles into the tops of your thighs but never getting quite close enough to the ache that pulses between your legs, as though he can't trust himself.

"Don't want you to do something you'll regret." Seokjin sounds pained as he nips at your neck, lips sucking marks into the flesh obscenely while his tongue soothes the burn, your eyes squeezing shut at the sensation.

"I could never regret you." You stammer between quiet whimpers when his teeth attack the sensitive spot behind your ear and in that moment you believe every word. "I promise."

Seokjin leaves one last wet kiss to your jaw. "Open your eyes. Look at me." His hands tremble when they take your face between them and hold your already damp forehead against his. You obey, biting your lip when his own lustful eyes stare into yours with a gentleness. "Promise. You want this — me?"

Your heart throbs. "I promise."

"Then how could I refuse?" With a peck to your lips Seokjin hoists you over his shoulder like you are weightless, blood rushing to your head as you come face to face with his butt.

"Let me down!" You laughed as he carries you through the apartment, pounding your fists against his back playfully. He only tightens his grip, landing a sharp smack to your ass that has you quieting down quickly. "Ow!"

"Don't pretend you didn't like it." His voice is muffled as he lets you down but you can still hear his smirk before he even comes into view. Your back lands on top of a plush mattress, silken sheets a welcome cold against your skin which still burns from Seokjin's touch. You manage to glance around the room briefly, taking in the elegant matching silk drapes and the luxe gold trimmed furniture which makes it feel like a hotel room you probably could not afford.

But then Seokjin is hovering over you again and the way his eyes darken as they rake across your body captures all your attention.

"I wouldn't mind if you did it again." You hum coyly, enjoying the way his pupils dilate as he swallows a groan. Seokjin grips your ankles and lands another slap to the flesh of your ass that has you panting and choking on your own smirk.

"Such a slut, hm?" Your knees fall apart instinctively as he leans over your body, leaving a few lingering kisses across the expanse of your chest that peeks out of the top of your tank top, all while your fingers find the hem of his gym t-shirt. "God I love your ass."

"I'll fuck it myself if you don't hurry up." The way your hips buck up give away your impatience, never quite meeting the painfully visible tent in his crotch and gaining the friction you so desperately search for. Your panties are soaked through and clinging uncomfortably to your dripping folds by now, the heat between your legs pulsing unbearably.

Seokjin chokes at your threat, eyes rolling back as he pictures the image you painted. "F-fuck, I'd love to but maybe another time." Your lithe fingers manage to get his shirt over his shoulders, throwing the garment somewhere behind him and sucking in a gasp when you take in Seokjin's naked torso beneath the warm glow of his bedside lamp, toned and slightly damp with anticipation. "Gotta take care of this cunt first, hm?"

His palm cups your mound obscenely through your leggings and you whine at the first contact you'd received all night, eager to have him touch you without the barrier of your clothing. "P-please." The way you twist your hips needily, trying to grind your throbbing clit against the heel of his palm makes him laugh lightly.

"Sit back, get comfy." He helps you slide up the bed, arranging a selection of tasseled throw cushions behind your head until he's satisfied you are adequately supported, kneeling between your legs to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and press a prolonged peck to your parted lips. "Want this to be good for you."

"It's always good for me." You assure, fingers trailing fleetingly down his chest and feeling him tense above you at the ticklish contact. Seokjin makes quick work of your top, leaving you quickly in just your bra which you graciously save him the trouble of undoing by snapping the clasp open yourself.

The way he gazes in awe at your bare chest makes you self conscious, hands coming to cover the flush that caresses your face until he rolls one of your hardened nipples and lets out a sigh in unison with your own when your hands fall away, unable to focus on anything other than the tingle of Seokjin's touch and your own shallow pants.

"You're so pretty." His words make your chest blossom with warmth and you arch into his touch, air cold against your hard buds until Seokjin takes one of them into the heat of his mouth and reduces you to a gasping mess beneath him.

As soon as he comes up for air you manage to wriggle your hands between your flush bodies, latching on to the waistband of his gym shorts and sliding them down his thighs along with his boxers as soon as you catch his nod of confirmation.

His cock springs free, hard and already leaking against his stomach. Seokjin hisses at the cold air against his length. You wrap your hand around his girth, lidded gaze watching the way his face twists with a pleasurable agony with each flick of your wrist. He's hot and heavy in your palm, impossibly hard and your entrance clenches when his cock pulses against your palm, forcing him to swallow a moan and stop his hips from thrusting into your hand. You are suddenly hyper aware of how empty you are, another bout of lust pooling in your stomach as you anticipate how good he would fill you up, length enough to stretch you out perfectly.

When your palm twists around the angry reddened tip he just about looses his mind, falling forward to grip your shoulder with a bruising grip, uncaring when a few choked groans spill into your ear. You take pride in the way he falls apart so easily until his large palm covers yours and halts your ministrations all together.

"Stop, fuck—" He squeezes his eyes shut, letting out a hiss as he tries to regain his control, length twitching and drooling against your bare stomach. "Nearly came, shit." Seokjin's chest heaves with laboured breaths, cheeks flushed as he grips the base of his length firmly.

"I'm that good huh?" The teasing tone makes his eyes snap up, the scarlet tint to his cheeks deepening.

"No — I mean yes — but mostly I've been imagining this for a while." He seems slightly sheepish and you find it cute, feeling a little pang in your heart when his nose scrunches with shyness at his confession. "Got too worked up too fast."

"Guess you don't want me to suck you off for a bit, then?" You ask almost hopefully, your heat growing ever wetter at the thought of his girth fucking your throat mercilessly.

"There's plenty of time for that, princess." The glint in his eye is the same as the one he had that day in the locker rooms, except this time you trust his words knowing that nothing could stop you coming back for more.

"Guess I'll have to save my skills for another day, then." Seokjin chuckles at the pout that graces your lips, swatting your hand away before it could stroke his length again. "Unless..."

"Brat." The shake of his head is affectionate.

"Don't pretend you don't like it." You echoe his earlier words and he rolls his eyes to your amusement.

"Touché."

He holds your gaze for a little too long, the way his eyes soften at the edges and his lips part cutely too intimate for you to deal with in the moment so you focus on the neglected ache between your legs instead.

You interrupt the moment before you let a piece of your heart flutter straight into his hands. "Hurry up and get inside me, idiot!"

"Okay, okay jeez!" Seokjin raises his hands defensively before he shuffles down the bed, eye level with your crotch.

You can't help the way you arch off the bed as he peels away your leggings, whining shamelessly when your swollen folds finally hit the air.

Soon enough you feel Seokjin's hot breath hovering over your slit, making your clit pulse even more desperately if that were possible. Before he could devour your heat like you wanted him to, you are reminded of his own self control. "'S not fair, is it?" You slur, head spinning with lust as he spreads your lips with his fingers, taking you in completely.

"Not going to eat you out this time, don't worry," The sight of him looking up at you with pleading eyes from between your legs, lips inches away from your clit, is enough to have the coil in your stomach tightening, sure you could cum just from the visual alone. "Just a taste?"

You nod, too breathless to speak, and he runs a flat stripe up your dripping slit, the contact enough to make your legs shake and your head fall back against the cushions. He places a single kiss to your clit which makes you quiver before he climbs back up so you are eye level. "Can't get enough of your pussy," Your breath mingles, his lips glistening with your arousal just inches from yours. "Could taste you forever."

"You can." You whisper.

His tongue traces your bottom lip languidly. You can taste yourself just barely on his lips. "I don't deserve you."

Seokjin supports himself on his forearms, hovering over your body and taking his cock in his palm to line it up with your entrance.

"Ready?" He scans your face for any concerns, any suggestion that you are having second thoughts. Even your small smile and the shameless twists of your hips as you tried to impale yourself on his cock wasn't enough to appease him, apparently. "Promise?"

The tenderness in his voice makes you lose your breath in a mixture of shock and warmth. This has to be a dream. "Promise."

Seokjin's lidded eyes light up and he finds your hand where it tugs on the sheets beside your bodies and carefully interlinks your fingers. The callouses on his fingers, the grooves of his palm and how it slots perfectly into yours is starting to feel familiar. You don't have time to dwell on whether the action was supposed to feel as romantic as it did before he's pushing the tip of his cock against your entrance which clenches with every inch until he bottoms out with a guttural groan of his own.

The slide is slow and languorous, allowing you to feel every ridge of his cock drag against your walls, the stretch burning a little as you tried to accommodate his girth.

"So fucking wet for me, huh?" It's true; you can feel your arousal dripping down your ass, his hips meeting yours with an audible squelch that was testament of his affect on you. You feel his cock twitch inside you, his nose scrunching as he resists slamming into you straight away to allow you to adjust. Instead he focuses on rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs into your hips, taking in your bare form with a fascination. "So fucking pretty underneath me like this."

"All for you." You manage to stutter between hard pants as he snaps his hips back until just the head of his cock remains at your entrance and you whine with the impossible emptiness. "I'm all yours."

"Promise me." It comes out as a command but it's tainted with a softness that makes your cheeks burn with more than just lust.

"I promise. I'm all yours."

That's all it takes to have him slamming back into you, hips meeting yours repeatedly with a loud slap which is almost drowned out by the soft moans that spill from his lips into the crook of your neck. He's more vocal than you were expecting and it drives you crazy.

"Fuck, I'm close." His breath hitches at your words, tongue snaking out to wet his lips as he shudders closer to his high. With a pained expression he pauses mid thrust, head barely inside you as he searches your face for answers with desperate eyes. "Where can I—"

"Inside me." You buck your hips, whimpering when he slides back into you to the hilt as if he can't help it. "Wanna feel you fill me up."

"Shit, okay." He stutters as your fingers move the bangs stuck to his sweaty forehead, his neck and shoulders glistening slightly in the deep glow of the room. "God, you're so tight."

By now you are clenching around him wildly, the heat between your legs getting hotter with every drag of his cock against your velvety walls. With his next thrust he hits your sweet spot deliciously, the mewl that leaves you alerting him of the fact and he watches with a dark amusement as your eyes roll back and you lose yourself to the feeling.

"Mmf — g-gonna cum." Seokjin's thumb rubs circles into your throbbing clit in time with his thrusts and the pressure is enough to have you falling over the edge, vision fading to black as Seokjin fucks you through your high.

"That's it, cum for me baby," He coaxes, thrusts turning sloppy as you feel him release inside you, the feeling of him coating your now sensitive walls almost too much. "S-shit."

You don't realise your eyes are squeezed shut until Seokjin's palm cups your chin, his face a picture of pure bliss when your lashes finally flutter open. There's barely any distance between your noses, his breath lightly tickling your parted lips and you're sure he can hear your heart thumping against your rib cage, loud in your ears as he closes the distance between you in a lazy kiss that feels indescribably intimate with him softening inside you.

"I don't deserve you." He says again, voice croaky this time. "You could do better than me."

"Shut up," His cheek presses to your chest, warm against your clammy skin. "Don't be silly."

"There's something I need to tell you..." He begins, cut off when you sit upright abruptly, eyes wide. "It's nothing bad. Well, it might be depends on how you respond. It's just that day on the lake, when I saw how Taehyung looked at you, and when I thought I lost you, it made me realise that I'm—"

"No, not that." You begin feeling around for your underwear. "I think the pasta boiled over!"

"Oh shit!" He joins your search for clothes, rolling onto his back beside you, though you don't miss the frown that appeared on his face. "Guess I can wait a little longer."

#bts smut #bts #seokjin smut #ksmutclub #smutcentralnet #seokjin fluff #seokjin imagine #seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #btswriterscollective #btsguild #kwordsmiths #bangtanarmynet #thebtsclub #my writing #fic: better with you

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suphoshi · 4 years ago

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THE SUN, THE MOON, THE STARS | Byun Baekhyun x reader

PART I | PART II

Genre: Best friends to lovers AU, angst, some fluff, v v small amount of smut (i mean nearly non-existent, but def there)

Warnings: Horrible coping mechanisms (lots of drinking ((small mention of underage drinking)), making out/sex with strangers), possible trigger for depression, assault

Baekhyun holds the sun, the moon, and the stars in his eyes. How could he ever expect you not to love him?

PART I

Word Count: 8,439

Did you know the closest star to Earth is the sun?

94.376 million miles apart. That’s equivalent to traveling the circumference of the earth 3,790 times, travelling from one side of Asia to the other 78,646 times, running the Boston marathon 3,629,846 times.

The closest star to the Earth is the sun, a sad lonely world with its closest friend lightyears away, but not for you. You need only open your eyes at 12:04am on a Saturday night at age fourteen and it’s right there, hovering above you, a blazing fire of magnificence that breathes every bit of light there is into your soul. The dimples in his cheeks filled with the fiery chasms that brighten the earth, eyes sparkling with billions of galaxies.

“Let’s run away.” He would whisper after kicking his shoes off, flopping onto the other side of the bed. His voice smooth like the honey you used to mix into tea when you were sick (he healed you just the same), filling your arms with goosebumps, longing to hear more. He’d turn to face you and every time, even in the darkness of your room, you could see it.

Starlight found you in Baekhyun’s eyes.

“Corona Borealis…” you whispered nonchalantly, and his eyebrows scrunched up in that cute way they always did when he was confused. “The Northern Crown.”

A smile fixed itself onto your cheeks, but he was already launching into a story about his mom yelling at him for his grades, accustomed to the random thoughts that you spurted out with no regards to its relevance. You hardly listened. Seven beautiful stars that showed the crown in his eyes. If only you could stare at them through a telescope, dissect their structure, find your way into their stories, and make a home for yourself. Would he ever have room for you?

He stared at the ceiling while he spoke, constellations flowing from his lips in a way that lit up the whole room, your eyes transfixed on him and only him, each glimmer of light more beautiful than the next. He never noticed that you weren’t listening, never attempted to shake you back to reality. That was the magic of his existence, how rare he was. Someone who was just pleased with your company, never expecting more than your presence.

You met him when you were eight, back when stars only existed in the sky. Your days before him were filled with silence, eyes fixed on the ground, no one paying attention to the rich girl who seemed to think she was better than everyone. It wasn’t true, but who were you to change their minds? You never cared what people thought, never wanted to befriend anyone, or show them you were different. Well- not until you found yourself face first in a sandbox, a group of girls shoving you down, pulling your hair - “you think you’re better than us, huh?”. It was only then that you wished for a friend. Wished you had someone who cared enough to help. Someone who loved you enough to worry.

Tears rolled down your sand coated cheeks, bile in your throat, fear in your belly. You wanted to disappear.

“Get off her!”

Baekhyun’s voice was still shrill then, shoving the girls off one at a time until they all ran away, a beacon of hope you never saw coming. He dusted off your shoulders, patted your back while you sputtered and coughed, let you cry until your fathers’ voice rang in your mind like a shrill alarm. ‘An heiress never cries’. The words echoed through you over and over until you found the strength to pull your knees up to your chest and lower your head, forever trying to make yourself smaller, hiding from the world.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He spoke softly, stroking your hair. Chills ran down your spine. No one had ever touched you like that, with such sincerity. Not even your parents. You found the courage to look up at him and found yourself breathless once again but for a different reason.

His eyes.

He wiped your cheeks with gentle fingers, dusted more sand off your forehead, but you couldn’t look away from his eyes. “It’s okay, they’re gone now.” His gentle voice soothing the wrinkles in your forehead.

“Aquarius.” You mumbled and he tilted his head to the side.

“My mom told me I’m a Capricorn I think.” He replied, but you shook your head.

“The water bearer. It’s a constellation.” His eyebrows scrunched together, and a smile found your cheeks. When he returned it, your felt butterflies in your stomach.

You had never seen stars in anyone else, not before him and not after. You spent your entire childhood by his side, clinging to him despite all of life’s obstacles, like the time he broke his wrist while riding his bike down a hill; or, when he got into a fight in middle school and you got yourself suspended for punching the other guy in the face (you didn’t even know why they were fighting). He was your favorite lifeline, the only friend you ever wanted… The only love you ever needed.

You always wondered if he would ever see you like that. If he would see you at all. The way he smiled at you was not the way you smiled at him. Did he get chills when his hand brushed against yours while walking down the hall? Did he fall asleep with a smile on his face at just the memory of you laughing, matching the dopey one you fell asleep with when you thought of him? As the years went on, he constantly drilled the notion into your head that you were just friends. You would only ever be friends.

“You need to go out with someone other than me, people think we’re dating. You don’t have any other friends.”

It was your seventeenth birthday. He woke you up with a strawberry cupcake and his sunshine smile. You could not have asked for anything more. Minus the talk of going to your first party without him, of course. It made your stomach churn with anxiety. It was your birthday, why should you spend it with anyone other than him?

He was all you would ever want, never asking for more than a lifetime of studying his eyes and hearing him laugh, but he obviously had different ideas.

“I’m not always going to be here, you know.”

His words caused a panic to rise in your chest, head snapping to face him so quickly that it took you several minutes to adjust to his frame. He only met your gaze for a few moments before letting his eyes trail down to his twiddling fingers.

“Why wouldn’t you always be here?” You asked incredulously and he laughed.

“That’s how life works. We’ll be friends through high school, maybe some college, but then we’ll meet people we really like. You’ll get married; I’ll get married. We’ll have kids. Then we’ll just be an old memory. Pictures in scrap books. You know?”

You shook your head ‘no’ immediately, afraid to speak for fear that you would scream at him. How could he be so stupid? So blind? Of course, you knew he would find someone since you weren’t the one he wanted, but how could he think that you would ever love anyone but him? How could he ever imagine a life where you weren’t there when you couldn’t even think about it without tears filling your eyes?

He smiled as you shook your head and reached his hand out, smoothing down the side of your hair. You leaned into his touch and watched him sigh, eyes glimmering, heart racing. He let you sit like that for probably too long, the love in your chest swelling with each second. He let you look into his galaxies, chest beating so erratically that you feared he would hear it.

Sagitta. It was right there. Five stars that made up an arrow, aimed right at you. Only you. It made your lip tremble. Tear filled eyes, pin cushion heart.

When he pulled his hand back, it was replaced with cold regret, but at least you were used to it. He cleared his throat and laid back on the bed beside you, staring up at the ceiling. As if he didn’t just rip your heart in half. You wished you could be so nonchalant with someone’s feelings.

“It’s normal to go to a party on your birthday. I think you should go. Chanyeol will be there, so you’ll have someone to talk to.”

Your lip jutted out in annoyance, dread filling your senses as your gaze dropped to the floor. You’d spent every birthday for nine years with Baekhyun, but now he wanted you to do it alone. It was frustrating, having an ever-constant that suddenly didn’t want to be that constant. He sat back up and hooked a finger under your chin, tilting your head back up to face him. His sweet smile. Sun kissed skin. Messy hair.

“Please?”

He ruined you.

Hours later, you found yourself in a too crowded house with too loud music, on edge the second you walked in the door. Your chest ached with anxiousness, nerves on fire. You wanted to break down, shrink into the size of an ant and sneak out, but you couldn’t leave, not when you had just arrived. You could only imagine Baekhyun’s disappointment if you bailed so early, so you had to try.

Chanyeol was dancing with some girl across the room, no attention paid to the birthday girl who sat unattended. Lonely. You scratched the back of your neck, annoyance dripping off you in waves. You wished Baekhyun was there.

Someone shoved a red cup into your hand and told you to drink. It looked like tea, smelled like metal. You looked up at the girl in front of you and she smiled.

“It’ll make it a little better” That look, as if she knew your thoughts better than you did. It took you twenty minutes to drink the entire thing, rusty and lukewarm, bile lurching up your throat with nearly each sip. Took you twenty more to build up the courage to ask for another.

After three cups you could smile even though you were scared. After five, you were on a table, dancing to music you didn’t know the words to, forgetting the reality of your life. It felt like no one could touch you, no one could hurt you. Your father’s sternness didn’t exist up in the clouds of that night. The cold your mother put off couldn’t touch you when you danced on the mountain tops. Baekhyun held you too tight, too long, loved you too hard there. Sometimes you still chase that feeling.

The party died down a few hours later, people pouring out the front door and finding rides home or walking. You texted Baekhyun to come pick you up and laid back in the front yard alone, though it didn’t really feel that way. The grass around you was wet, fingers winding around the blades as you stared at the sky. Shooting stars, silky clouds pressed against the backdrop of a black night. You loved it. The way it looked so close, like you could hold it. Taste it. Heaven felt like it could be real, fingertips away, and you stretched your hand out to touch it. Stars dripped down your arms, the moon painted your skin. You wanted to climb up and be with them so much, find yourself a home amongst them.

It wasn’t much later that Baekhyun laid down beside you, your head instinctively turning towards him, a magnet you could never resist.

“What kind of stars do you see tonight?”

You had no answer because the stars in the sky didn’t matter anymore. As quickly as your love built for them, it completely extinguished when he was there. Instead, it was the stars in his eyes that you wanted to discover. He turned to you after your silence stretched too long and you smiled.

“Coma Berenices. Berenice’s Hair.”

He smiled back and the butterflies that fluttered in your stomach when you were little returned in full force, for the thousandth time since you had met him. It had been years since that first day. Years since you fell in love with him. But Baekhyun was Baekhyun, a clueless boy who hauled your drunk body off the ground and into his car, ignoring the way you kissed his cheek when he lifted you into his arms. Ignoring how you made him hold your hand the entire way home and fiddled with his fingers because he had the nicest hands. Ignored the tears in your eyes when he refused to stay after he helped you into bed.

“Happy birthday.” he whispered against your cheek while you held onto his shirt, begged him to stay one more time. He smiled and pulled your hands away before climbing out of your window.

It was a never-ending cycle that you decided you were okay with because at least he was there. At least you got to see his constellations. Even though you felt cold at night without his hand in yours, without his smile. You could handle anything, as long as he never left.

Age twenty-four came to you like the encore of your favorite play, sprawled out in the grass while you looked up at the stars and wished to live among them. You couldn’t really recall those childish days anymore, the times when Baekhyun treated you gently, held your feelings with sweetness, sincerity. You just remembered the way it made you feel.

Life had changed for him. His heart changed. He grew cold, severe. Sternness sprouted in his voice when you wanted to spend time with him, shutting down your feelings without an ounce of compassion. All too harsh and direct, making his point entirely too clear. You didn’t know what inside of him snapped, but he stopped knocking on your bedroom window. He stopped sneaking in with strawberry cupcakes on your birthday. He stopped answering your calls at 2am when you were scared and couldn’t sleep. It was like the world started rotating in reverse. One day he was hugging you tight while you cried over a failed exam, and the next he was avoiding your texts. Declining your calls.

You still clung to him, refused to leave his side regardless of his feelings because you had to see him. You had to hear his laugh. How could you live without the only sun you ever loved? You met him after class, followed him down the hall and made him speak to you. Showed up at his house. Helped him study. That was as close as he let you stay anymore. Rarely did he call you first, even more rare did he come out when you asked him to, but still. It was enough. It had to be. For years you played that game. Tiptoed on his boundaries in silence, praying he would let you stay with him forever.

You sighed at the racing thoughts and closed your eyes, tried to remember the last time he let you see the galaxies inside of him. Time had been so rough with Baekhyun and it was frustrating to know that he held milky way’s so close for you to discover, but never let you glance at them anymore.

Footsteps neared your head and you looked up, eyes meeting the annoyed face you had been thinking about. He wasn’t smiling. Wasn’t happy at all. So why did he look so pretty? Why was your heart beating so fast, like it meant anything that he was there? It’s not like he came to your rescue every time you called because he liked you. He was just a good friend.

“How am I ever gonna have a chance with Yuna if you keep calling me away from every date I have with her?”

Hearing her name had your eyes rolling without thought, the whiskey that settled in your stomach churning uncomfortably. Yuna was Baekhyun’s latest muse. She helped him produce a song once and he was head over heels. Took her on dates, called her late at night. It made you sick. Like you weren’t ever there for him. Like you weren’t even an option. You could help him work on songs, help him write lyrics. You’d done it before when you were kids, before he acted like you were nothing.

He crouched down above your head and you quickly took note that Baekhyun looked so small in a beanie. As if you hadn’t noticed that before, marked in your mile-long list of things that you loved about him. His ears poked out, like the point of a hat like that wasn’t to tuck your ears in and keep them warm. His glasses perched on his nose. You smiled a little, content to see him, even if he was angry. Even if he didn’t want to be there (didn’t want you).

He rolled his eyes and let out a deep sigh, moving to stand in front of you. He held his hands out and you grabbed them, letting him haul you off the ground. The world spun and his hands were on your hips for just a few seconds to steady you before he pulled them away.

Shivers ran down your spine, eyes darting to meet his. Your bones ached at the sweetness he still held in them, whether it was for you or not. Eyebrows raised in concern, your hands resting on his chest.

“Stop drinking all of the time if you can’t even get a taxi to take you home.” He grumbled, pulling your dress down and dusting grass off your back. His voice rang through your ears dripping with the honey that healed you, and every part of you felt so warm with him just inches away. Like you were coming home for the first time in years.

“Baek,” you vied for his attention, fingers gripping his shirt lightly. He looked at you with those anger filled eyes and you smiled. “like me instead.”

He looked a little confused, head tipping just a little to the left and you immediately felt the fall. The fall you had been falling since you were eight years old and found your first friend. The fall you fell when you woke up on your seventeenth birthday, not to your parents, but to the sweetest eyes of the sweetest boy on earth. The fall you would be falling forever because he was your star. Your galaxy.

Your chest felt heavy. Heart racing. Short breaths coming out like choppy waves while you stared into his eyes and swallowed down your fear.

Aquila. Ten stars that made up an eagle, the eagle that bore Zeus’ lightning bolts. It was the push of courage and strength you needed.

“Love me instead.” You continued and the glimmer in his eyes – the shooting stars you watched form behind them, it was enough to have you leaning forward and pressing your lips against his.

Whiskey. Whiskey was your favorite. You’d never felt it before, but whiskey ran through your veins like lava and pushed you up up up on your tippy toes, your chest melting into his like a puzzle piece. His eyes widened in surprise while your hands wrapped around the base of his neck. You felt your heartbeat in your ears, felt the butterflies in your throat crawling out with happiness, begging to be set free. For the first time in years, it felt possible. Like you could explode with all the excitement you had been building up over time.

His soft lips spread slightly, and the taste of cinnamon escaped. You breathed it in, let some of those butterflies sneak into the world before you pressed your lips into his again. Everything was perfect for those few seconds, your body against his, your dreams finally coming true as you could see the constellations inside of him and actually understand why they were there. It was what you always wanted.

When his hands slid up to your shoulders, you leaned into him a little more, naively thinking he was pulling you closer. As if he felt the same way you did.

He pushed you away instead.

You stumbled back; eyes wide open to see him. The smile faded from your cheeks, the hollow emptiness settling in your soul where your happiness had previously resided. His lips were a little red from your lipstick and his eyes were even more confused. Angry. His cheeks looked pale, fixing his glasses back and staring at you incredulously.

“What are you doing?” He barked out and you stared at him, not sure what to say. You were embarrassed, sure, but when he wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand, you were shattered.

The butterflies in your throat screamed in pain, dried and cracking wings, sliding back down to your stomach where they belonged.

Baekhyun sighed and rubbed his face with his hands before taking a deep breath.

You felt tears fill your eyes when his hardened gaze found you again, shame eating you alive as he stepped forward and grabbed your wrist. His touch wasn’t gentle. Wasn’t loving. It wasn’t what you wanted at all.

“You’re drunk, let’s go home.” He said turning, but you ripped away from him, devastation reaching its peak. He looked at you and you wanted to collapse. Wanted to turn into a black hole that sucked everything too close right up and destroyed it with you. Sobering tears ran down your cheeks and with each second that passed, your anger grew.

“Why don’t you love me?” You started, ignoring the growing nervousness in his face. “Yuna is pretty and nice, but why not me? I’ve taken care of you since we were kids- I’ve loved you since we were kids. Doesn’t that matter?”

He looked scared. A crack in the façade of his usual indifference, a heart-breaking apologetic look that he only allowed you a second to see before his usual mask of annoyance returned. You could have screamed. Why wasn’t he being honest with you? Why was he hiding his feelings, covering them up and putting on a show, as if you didn’t know him better than anyone?

“You sound silly right now ____, you drank too much.” He said sighing, a hand coming up to rub his cheek, as if this was the most unsettling thing to ever happen to him.

You stared at him and thought about how it would have felt if he had just kissed you back. If he had lifted you off the ground, let you into his little world, showed you his map of stars and explained every single one of their stories. It was a dream.

Resentment settled inside your bones. Frustration. Betrayal. You nodded your head and grabbed your jacket off the ground, turning to walk away.

“Wait-” He gripped your elbow and you seethed at his touch, snatching away from him unabashedly.

“It’s not silly,” you cried out, tears filling you up and pouring down the sides of your face. He stayed quiet; eyes unsure how to process your emotions any more than you could. “But don’t worry.” You wiped at your cheeks harshly, ridding yourself of the useless tears that you cried over a boy who would never reciprocate your feelings. “I won’t come between you and Yuna anymore. I won’t bother you at all. I’m sorry I bothered you so much.”

You walked away from him and he didn’t come after you. He didn’t call your name. Didn’t hold your hand the rest of the day like he did when you were eight and felt scared and alone after a bunch of girls ganged up on you. You felt so alone walking home. And you couldn’t see the stars anymore.

You didn’t really care to look up and see them ever again.

Baekhyun didn’t call at all in the following days. You’d heard from Chanyeol that he and Yuna had made it official and you cried, hot tears that stung so ugly down your cheeks. It made you feel so stupid. How could you have clung to someone who cared so little about you for so long? The thought alone was devastating, but you knew it was only a partial truth. Baekhyun was your friend. He cared about you, and you knew that, but you could only handle friendship for so long. He could not have been that blind.

You laid in bed and thought over and over where you went wrong. Sure, you kissed him. You did, but was it really such a bad thing? He had to know how you felt. You never dated other guys. Called him when you were alone or sad. Made him dinner. Watched movies with him. You only ever wanted him. Was it that big of a shock?

His mother was the one who called you later that week to let you know about his enlistment. It shook you to the core, dissolved the foundation you had built to keep yourself grounded. Keep you safe. You waited for a call and text. A fucking email.

His mother called one more time, on the day he was scheduled to leave.

‘Please come say goodbye. You know he’ll miss you.’

You laid in silence for hours, staring at the ceiling, senseless tears rolling down the sides of your face. Should you stay? Should you go? The questioning mind you hated so much would not shut off no matter how much you begged for darkness to take over, and it all led you back to one thought: What if you never got to see him again?

You sprinted from the bus stop like your life depended on it, checking the time on your phone continually, as if a bomb would go off if you were late. There were people everywhere, wishing their loved one’s farewell, ignoring the frenzy you were in as you shoved through the crowd desperately. His mother had sent you a text with a vague location, but your mind was in shambles, no coherent thoughts, just absolute panic. You had to see him. You had to say goodbye.

When you spotted him, your blood froze over. You forgot how to breathe. Everything around you went silent. Your heart no longer raced. He smiled and looked at the people around him, spoke words you couldn’t hear, but knew they were making everyone laugh. He was always making everyone laugh. You stood away and watched, unsure of how to face him. How to look into his eyes when he was mad at you, just like you were mad at him. You had never been mad at him like that.

You watched him kiss Yuna on the cheek and almost walked away but felt cemented to the ground. He hugged his mom for a long time, let her pat his back and hold him for far longer than he was used to. When he pulled back, he was nodding at her, wiping her cheeks, an ever-diligent son who loved his mom more than anything. The light in his eyes when he looked at her; it was on that same long list of things you loved him for. Butterfly wings mending, you felt them flutter again in your stomach for the first time in a week.

They all waved at him as he walked away, time catching up too quickly. He walked towards you through the crowd, leaving everyone else and it felt like a movie. The crowd closed behind him as he walked closer, life moving in double time as you contemplated how to speak, how to think. How to tell him he had to come back because your heart was his.

It was at the exact moment that your instinct to run kicked in that he stopped in front of you. Six feet away, backpack slung over his shoulder, hat fixed on his head. You couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t stand the sight of his eyes, so inquisitive, so accusing. Like you didn’t belong there. You didn’t smile. Didn’t move. When he stepped forward, you let out a shuddering sigh. He shifted uncomfortably, hands in his pockets while you twisted your fingers so tight that your skin turned red. Flashbacks flew past your eyes, your hands on his neck, the taste of cinnamon.

You shook away the thoughts and took a deep breath.

“I just came to say goodbye.” You said dimly and he nodded, turning his gaze away, as if he couldn’t stand the sight of you. It broke your heart. Made you want to melt into the ground and disappear entirely. Instead, you built up every ounce of courage you had left and swallowed down the tears that begged to escape.

You blinked once. Twice. The sight of his face growing more and more blurry with the sadness you tried and failed to dry out. You cleared your throat and raised your hand into the air, gaze dropping to his shirt as you no longer had the courage to see his resentment anymore.

“Bye… Baekhyun.” You whispered, and his head turned towards you.

You looked up to meet his eyes once more and watched him soften. Watched him crumple from head to toe in the same way you did, like a curtain falling to reveal the show behind it. It took everything you had not to break. Not to collapse on the ground and beg him to run away with you, beg him to stay. His eyes searched your face for far too long before he swallowed hard, nodding a few times.

When he walked away, brushing past you without a word, your arms moved involuntarily, wrapping around his waist without fear or contempt. Your fingers gripped into his shirt too tight, clinging to him as if he would disappear if you let go. As if it were the last time you would ever see him.

He froze. Breathing uneven. Unsure. You sobbed into his shirt and he let you. He let you hold him and cry, and you were so grateful. So happy you could hold him one more time.

“Please be safe.” You whispered, voice thick with sadness.

He didn’t move. Didn’t shove you back. Didn’t force you to let go or reject your heart. Just let you hold him like that, let you sob freely despite everything that had happened.

He was your home. Your safety. Your anchor to reality. You had always felt that way, but he didn’t reciprocate those feelings anymore. Never letting you get too close, too comfortable.

After some time passed, he turned and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You only cried harder. The smell of his cologne, the skin of his neck, the feel of his fingers pressed into your back. You took the time to memorize it all, the sinking realization that it would be the longest amount of time you would have ever spent without him hitting you like a truck.

You felt his lips press against the top of your head and gripped his shirt even tighter, too scared to accept the finality of his goodbye. But just like that, his hands were wrapping around your arms, peeling you off like Velcro. He didn’t speak. Didn’t linger. Just walked away without so much as a glance back.

You felt the tug on your heart so severely that it took your breath away, tethered to a boy who left you alone and in pieces on the sidewalk. A boy who would never want you the way you wanted him.

You squatted down on the cool pavement; palm pressed to your chest until your heart settled enough for you to take a deep breath. Then came the crash. You disintegrated in that crowd of people, muscles alone pulling you up off the ground and walking you back towards the bus stop. Empty eyes cried the entire way home, and it was instinct alone that got you there. Common sense. If it were up to your heart, you’d probably still be sitting on that sidewalk waiting for him to come back and hug you again.

Baekhyun leaving hurt bad enough. What hurt worse were the weeks that passed by without a phone call. Without a letter. Your friends talked about the letters and texts they received like it was nothing, they got one every week, some of them twice a week. It never bothered you before, having the same friends as him, but it did then. It made you realize how alone you actually were without him.

Months passed by in an instant and you woke up every day thinking that it would get easier. That you would be able to get out of bed without feeling so hollow. So empty. That the ache in your chest would have to fade eventually, but it didn’t. Instead, each day that passed widened the hole in your heart.

You were sat in a restaurant, finger sliding through the condensation on your glass of beer while your friends talked about some story Baekhyun had wrote them about that week, and it set your chest on fire. Had your heart racing with betrayal. Your annoyance reached it’s threshold and you didn’t even feel the anger-filled tears coming to try to stop them.

“Why isn’t he writing me?” You asked thoughtlessly, tears trailing down your face. You half expected them not to hear you, and if they did, you expected them to ignore you. It didn’t work out either way you had imagined. They all stopped to look at you, eyes soft and concerned, full of pity, like you were some kind of fragile doll. It made you feel sick. Sehun opened his mouth to speak and you just as quickly cut him off.

“Forget it.” You said with rough hands wiping the tears from your cheeks. You couldn’t bear hearing the cover ups. The explanations. The apologies. You couldn’t even bear their sympathetic glances. You downed the rest of your beer, threw money on the table, and walked out without another word. It was the most you could manage.

Nothing felt good anymore. Nothing made you smile at things the way he did. Nothing made you laugh like he did. Nothing filled you up at all, made you feel complete. It was more than frustrating – it was crippling. How could he consume so much of your life and expect you not to fall in love with him? How could you not love him? He was Baekhyun. His eyes held the entire galaxy. How couldn’t you fall in love?

Time was not kind, not for you. You found yourself in bars kissing other men, pretending it was him that you were pressed against. His hands on your waist, his lips on yours. You acted like you could get butterflies in your stomach for anyone other than him. On good nights, you could almost hear his soft laughter in your ear, cinnamon breath, and gentle hands. On bad nights, you tangled your hands in their hair, dug your nails into their shoulder, let them wrap their hand around your throat, bite your lip, rip your stockings.

Both ways never felt right.

He came home to visit after four months, and you tried to be surprised that he didn’t call. Feigned shock when he didn’t come to find you, locked away in your apartment with both fear and wishful thinking. In all honesty though, you expected it. You felt his goodbye the last time you saw him and knew then that he wouldn’t come to find you. He wouldn’t ever seek you out again. That fact was devastating at first.

Six months passed though, and it wasn’t as complicated. Wasn’t as damaging.

Eight months passed and you could wake up in the morning without a weight on your chest. Could go to work and come home without seeing him in every street, every building, every face that you took home at night.

Life became easier. Your friends stopped mentioning him every time you got together, stopped bringing up their phone calls and letters. You could go out for drinks and laugh and didn’t feel the need to find company in a strangers’ arms just so you could feel something. Anything.

You could laugh at their stories, eat until your belly was full, talk about work and life and music.

Life became easier.

Until it wasn’t. Until you found yourself in the middle of your favorite restaurant and Yuna walked in.

She sat herself down at the head of the table and talked with everyone like she fit there. As if she was more welcome than you were. They poured her drinks, ordered her food, made sure she felt included while simultaneously pushing you over the edge.

“Baekhyun comes home in a few months you know.” She spoke to everyone, and they all shared their understanding, listening to her with purpose. “Don’t tell him I said anything, but…” You felt Sehun’s eyes combing your face and you downed another shot, eyes fixed on the table.

“I think he’s going to propose.”

You slammed your glass back down and everyone looked towards you for a moment. You didn’t return the glances. Didn’t care to excuse your outburst at all really. It was amazing, how easy that pain settled back in after nearly a year of avoidance. How it crept into the vessels of your heart and calcified your blood into shards of glass that ripped you from the inside out.

They all turned back to her, wishing her well and sharing their excitement for them. You only felt slightly betrayed, emptier than you previously thought possible as the remaining bit of hope you had unknowingly latched onto bled out while you downed one more shot.

You got up without a word, put your money on the table, and ignored their stares as you walked out. Walking home you felt the cold air seeping into your bones and wanted to feel nothing. You wanted your heart to stop beating for someone who would never love you, wanted it to stop beating entirely if you had no other choice. You stopped in another bar and it was only so long before your head felt fuzzy. Before you had your hands on someone’s shoulders, your back pressed up against a wall while their lips moved from your cheek to your neck, to your collar bone.

“Come home with me.” He said, voice rough and deep.

Normally you said no, pushing them away and going home alone, dreaming of the person your heart really wanted.

But he had eyes like Baekhyun’s. He smelled like cinnamon and you weren’t ready to leave him yet.

It was all too fast and too rough, him pressing you into his paper-thin mattress, pulling your hair, biting your lip. It wasn’t the gentle caresses or the soft kisses that Yuna probably got, and that thought alone had you asking for more. And he gave it to you. Hand gripping your cheeks, harsh words whispered into your ear. It was so different from what your heart wanted. So different from what you always dreamed about.

He finished after too long and you immediately got dressed, walking out the door without a word. He didn’t even try to stop you.

The following months passed by in a blur. You avoided everyone, spending more time at work and less time thinking, rejecting every phone call, every text. It was better that way. You weren’t someone who people could understand easily. Even the person who was closest to you on earth left you alone, so why would you keep anyone else around? You didn’t need any more loss. Didn’t need any more devastation.

When the empty feeling settled in your chest, you decided you preferred that over pain and loneliness. It was easier to feel nothing at all. On the weekends you drank until you forgot. Drank until Baekhyun’s face wasn’t the only thing you saw when you made out with someone. Until you didn’t smell cinnamon on their lips. Pretended that the stars at night didn’t remind you that once upon a time, you saw constellations in his eyes.

You drank until you half dragged yourself home, stumbling every 10 feet, laughing out loud like you had something to laugh at, when really the only thing listening was the wind brushing past you. It comforted you to know that even if were alone, the wind still caressed your cheeks, told you that it would be okay, even if it really wouldn’t.

You were almost to your apartment when you walked into some restaurant to eat before you slept, tired of the constant hangovers at work as much as your coworkers probably were. The bell above your head rang and you smiled at the sound, eyes half shut as you looked around for a table to sit at.

“____?”

You straightened up at the sound of your name, vision adjusting to the room. Chanyeol. Sehun. The rest of your friends that you had been avoiding for months. They all stared at you like you were some ticking time bomb and you instantly frowned.

Of course, you would pick this restaurant. All you had done for months was dodge their calls, their texts, and there they all were, staring at you with sad eyes that made you want to crack. You could’ve stopped at the one on the corner, or the one that was right beside the bar you were at, but no. You chose that restaurant, of all places.

Everyone’s eyes were fixed on you and you ran a hand through your tousled hair, smoothing out your clothes and smiling a little. No one spoke. No one smiled back. You noticed Yuna at the end of the table and chuckled a little at the thought that maybe they replaced you with her.

The empty seat to her right didn’t register until Baekhyun walked out of the bathroom. He was wearing the hat you got him for his birthday two years before.

He was smiling for a second until he saw you, and it quickly disappeared.

‘How did we get here?’

“____?”

He said your name and you ran. Gone was that empty feeling you were so happy to have. The hurt that surged through your chest was enough to take your breath away. You rubbed at your eyes with dry hands and tried to keep it together. Tried to hold back the sobs that fought their way out of your throat. Tried to claw your way back to that empty feeling you worked so hard for.

“____, wait!”

You ran, begging God to swallow you into the earth, hide you away from the misery that was awaiting. Instead, you tripped on the sidewalk and fell, feeling as pathetic as you probably looked.

He was at your side in seconds.

“Are you okay?” He asked and you slapped his hand away when he offered it for help.

You attempted to pull yourself back up but stumbled again. That time, his hands wrapped around your waist, keeping you upright and pressed against him. The warmth of his sweater, the smell of his cologne. It was all too much.

You shoved him away and stumbled back down the sidewalk towards your apartment. When he started to walk beside you, you stopped and looked at him.

“Leave me alone.” You said and he stared at you for too long. The hurt expression he wore was surely a figment of your imagination, and you laughed at the thought that he might have been hurt by you. As you walked away, you shoved him to the side again, praying he would get the hint and leave you alone.

You could feel him trailing behind you in silence. Could feel his gaze fixed on the back of your head and goosebumps broke out up and down your arms. You hated everything about it. Hated that he could make you feel that way after so long, when you had convinced yourself that you hated him; convinced yourself that you didn’t belong to anyone but you.

You walked up the two flights of stairs in your building and bit your lip, begging him in silence to leave. To go and never come see you again. It was what you wanted, what you needed, but those butterflies you thought you had buried so long before were wiggling out of their graves and swimming up your throat for air. You were miserable.

“____,” His voice saying your name, the voice you had missed so much, it had your head whipping towards him with such severity, you would have thought he would be scared. Instead he looked calm. Worried. You missed his eyes so much. His voice. “Let me inside, you’re bleeding.”

He pointed to your knee and you didn’t bother looking, the sting of an open wound apparent. Instead you stared at him. He was thinner since you last saw him, hair growing longer since he had cut it, tucked under his hat. Sunshine skin, starry eyes. Tall and handsome. Baekhyun.

“Open the door.” He said and you did. Why did you? Why did you not feel angry anymore? Resentment replaced with longing as you pressed the buttons on the keypad. You felt the loneliness seeping through your pores as you kicked off your shoes and tried to hold onto the tiny shreds of strength you had left, but it was hard. Your heart ached for him, and he was right there. And you just wanted him to touch you.

He walked straight to your kitchen and pulled out your first aid kit, somehow unsurprised that he remembered where it was. He fit so perfectly there, like the only place he should have ever been was in your kitchen cleaning you up and making you better. With his back turned to you, he called your name again, going through all the supplies inside of the box. You walked up beside him and watched him pull out gauze, alcohol, a bandage.

It was too quick, him turning and wrapping his arms around your waist, catching you off guard as he picked you up and placed you on the counter in front of him. You gasped at his touch, chest against chest, but it was gone just as quick.

He immediately started his work on cleaning the wound on your knee and the look of concentration on his face made your heart constrict. Tears filled your eyes and you wanted so badly to make him leave. Overwhelming thoughts about how this would end with you crying and him leaving filled you up and the emptiness that hollowed out your bones at just the idea of it made you shiver.

“I heard you’re going to propose.” You said mindlessly and he paused, not looking at you. “To Yuna.” You continued, lip quivering at the sound of her name falling from your own lips. “You’re going to propose to Yuna?”

The last part sounded like an accusation and he didn’t ever look up at you, eyes fixed on your knee, as if all of the words he was supposed to say were written on a script with the blood that dripped out.

It wasn’t fair. He would leave there without you, but your heart would still go with him. After all that time, you felt just as small as you did the day you kissed him. It wasn’t fair.

“I’m happy.” You said, a lie falling from your lips like the tears that fell down your cheeks. He looked up and you wiped them away, missing the deep frown that formed on his features as you sniffled like a child, crying over something that would never be yours.

“Are you?” He asked. You couldn’t reply, eyes blurry with sadness, choked with the lump in your throat. He pressed a band-aid onto your knee and stood up, eyes fixed back onto yours. It was too quiet. Too real.

You looked at him for a long time. Memorized the things you hadn’t seen in so long. His puffy cheeks. The freckle under his eye. The way his eyebrow twitched sometimes when he was upset, nose scrunching slightly before he fixed his expression to what he wanted you to see, pulling back that same curtain he’d been keeping up in front of you since high school. It left you in pieces.

Your eyebrows scrunched together as you looked at him and you wanted to wrap yourself around him and never let go. But you didn’t. You stared at him on that kitchen counter and cried out the words your heart forced you to say.

“I’m happy if you’re happy.” You said, a partial truth. The tears wouldn’t stop falling and he didn’t say anything, just watched you cry in silence. When he reached his hand up, fingers brushing across your cheek and resting on your neck while his thumb brushed the tears away, you let out another sob and restrained yourself from clinging to him. Begging him to stay. You leaned into his touch and for a second, he looked almost as devastated as you.

“I just want you to be happy.” You said softly.

He was quiet like that for a few minutes, hand lingering on your cheek before pulling it away.

The room felt twenty degrees cooler without his skin pressed to yours and that only made you cry harder.

“I’m sorry.” He said too gently. Too sincerely.

And then he was gone.

You sobbed into your hands for a long time before you calmed down enough to hop off the counter. You walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower, peeling your clothes off in your too silent apartment that felt too empty. You sat on the shower floor, hot water slapping you, and promised not to let him in again. Promised that this only happened because you were drunk - everything bad happens when you’re drunk. The alcohol made you lonely, you were truly just fine. Being alone was something you were growing accustomed to, something you had accustomed to. You promised to not let him touch you ever again. It was annoying the way that idea stung in your chest, but eventually the sting faded, and everything went dark, hot water turning to cold.

Feeling nothing was feeling safe (and you felt so safe).

click here for part II

A/N I am giving myself PTSD with posting a 2 part fic, but guess what y’all - I ALREADY HAVE PART 2 FINISHED (someone clap for me, it’s seriously an accomplishment ok). I was going to post this as one big fic, but it just seemed a lot simpler to read it in 2 parts bc it is nearly 20,000 words. Which is def a big one lolol. I hope you guys LOVE and I will be posting part 2 in a day or 2 after seeing how this one sits with ppl (i’ll be posting part 2 regardless, I just don’t want to upload at the same time). Love you all so much, this is something I have been working on for a YEAR and i needed it out of my system. Baekhyun is my ult and writing angst for him was a challenge, bc he is literally like my actual sunshine on a rainy day. I hope you guys love this as much as I do <3<3<3 Please reblog, like, send me a message!! I love hearing from you all!! I’m going to try to go through my requests today and get some finished, we shall see! Have the best day!!

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