#they’re on voyager they’re on the enterprise

[thresholdbb]

A Federation starship seems like a terrible place for a bath

[hawkp]

Umm so I found this awhile ago…

Someone mentioned me in a mention game thing and I didn’t do it (sorry @old-wild-child !!!) but I just had a fun and silly idea to make a thread of everybody as little cute Star Trek cartoons!

So please Reblog with whatever you would look like in cartoon Star Trek (as well as any other characters you create). I’ll start!

This is me:

and ofc I had to make Julian Bashir:

YOUR TURN!

ORIGINAL FILTER CREATOR @star-trek-dumb-comics !!!!!

[lostyesterday]

Tournament Details:

Teams compete in multiple games against other teams and the team with the most overall wins is the tournament winner.

The game is played in a large outdoor area with plenty of cover (trees, hills, etc.) divided in half into “territories” belonging to the two different teams.

The objective of the game is to find and retrieve the other team’s flag (which they have hidden somewhere) and return it to your own team’s base before the other team finds your flag.

Teams can hide their flags anywhere on their territory provided that the flag is visible from at least one angle standing on the ground at average height.

While on the opposing team’s territory, a player can be tagged by an opposing team member, at which point they are then “taken prisoner” to the opposing team’s base and must remain there until a member of their own team comes to free them by tagging them.

Physical combat other than tagging isn’t allowed. Injuring another player is grounds for disqualification.

No phasers, tricorders, communicators, transporters, or any other technology are allowed (with an exception for technology integrated into particular characters such as Seven’s implants or technological disability accommodations like Geordi’s visor).

Cheating teams are disqualified from that game, which is equivalent to a loss (assuming they’re caught cheating, of course).

For the purposes of this tournament, it can be assumed that all characters have all of the knowledge and experience they gained over the course of their respective shows, are reasonably aware of all opposing team member’s abilities, and are all equally motivated to win the tournament.

[startrekprodigyfan]

Okay, this is going out to the die-hard old-school Trekkies. And I’m going to be including spoilers because at this point if you haven’t been watching Prodigy yet, this is the only other way I know how to convince you to start! And even seeing spoilers won’t give you any context to the how or why they’re there, so that should hopefully give you incentive to watch the show!

For starters, what is Prodigy? Star Trek Prodigy is a 3D animated Nickelodeon show meant to introduce kids to the world of Star Trek. But don’t let the “kids show” title fool you, this is a show for ALL ages and even the most die-hard Trekkie will find something about it to enjoy.

The story centers around a group of alien kids who have been imprisoned on a mining asteroid as they stumble upon an abandoned Federation Starship and use it to escape with the hopes of one day joining Starfleet.

Are you happy that Star Trek is back but haven’t been excited or jazzed much about some of the recent shows? Then please watch Star Trek Prodigy! Here’s a visual list of things to expect to appease your continuity and cannon loving hearts:

1) The Enterprise D bridge on the holodeck, alongside Uhura, Odo, Doctor Crusher, Scotty, and Spock (using original legacy voice clips for many of the characters too)

2) The original Enterprise (non-Strange New Worlds) bridge!

3) An explanation for what happened to the original Galileo shuttle craft from the TOS series.

4) Both the original Vice Admiral Janeway and the new Hologram Janeway.

5) Wesley Crusher!

6) The Voyager-A!

7) Chakotay and the Holographic Doctor!

8) Original TNG (pre-First Contact) style Borg!

9) Legacy side characters returning such as The Outrageous Okona, voiced by the original actor Bill Campbell!

Currently the show is on Netflix. There are two seasons, 20 episodes each season that run around 24-30 mins long each for a grand total of a whopping 40 episodes! And there’s hopes that if Netflix thinks the show is worthy a 3rd season could be ordered. But only if you watch it now and get those ratings and viewership numbers up!

Please! Prodigy needs the help! Paramount+ canceled the show and yanked it from streaming before season 2 could even air (it had already been completed too)! Through a grass-roots campaign fans were able to get Netflix to pick it up and release the second season! Without Netflix this show would’ve just disappeared!

So please… if you love old school Trek and just want to exist in this world, you’re going to love Prodigy! And trust me, even those spoilers I showcased don’t even begin to scratch the surface of what this show has to offer!

[clementine-kesh]

tbh i vibe with star trek fans who are predominantly voyager fans (and enterprise fans tho those are a rarer breed) the best because they’re the ones who are most humble and willing to accept their show’s flaws. you tell a ds9 fan that it’s not the paragon of political critique of the federation and they’ll cry and scream and throw up. you tell a tng fan that it’s often kind of boring and they’ll get so mad they make a four hour video about how picard is the best captain ever. meanwhile voyager fans are like yes the captain’s a war criminal yes the continuity’s a nightmare what about it <3

[t0ast-ghost]

“Since the Cerritos is statistically the horniest and least romantically committed crew in Starfleet, we have no married officers aboard.”

- Lower Decks S4 EP6

First off if this is referring to just their current time period then yes I’d probably agree BUT since it’s a show and I think the creators were making a clever nod towards other shows I’d like to point out some things

This’ll get long. (Spoilers for TOS, TNG, DS9, & SNW)

TOS:

Both Spock and McCoy are divorced (McCoy twice over)

Whatever was going on between Spock and Chapel ???

Kirk is apparently too committed to the enterprise (yeah definitely the ship… nobod-nothing else) to commit to any of the women that he has definitely fucked

Kirk didn’t commit to Carol Marcus and she had his son

The Shore Leave episode

Theodore Sturgeon’s letter about the Shore Leave episode

Episodes with “Paradise” in their name

Must I bring up Amok Time?

Half the crew is just in love with the ship and all their relationships fail. The one time someone tries to get married their spouse dies

TNG:

Jean Luc is happy as is … Q however

Q is the horniest motherfucker for that frenchman and I’m counting him

Riker

Beverly with the ghost

Oh yeah Jean Luc literally kills two spouses (Crusher and Sisko) he’s actively uncommitting the romantics

The show’s SECOND EPISODE is where everyone gets super horny and fucks each other

Even the “emotionless” android gets some (I cannot blame Tasha one bit, Godspeed)

That’s all I remember from this show

DS9:

JADZIA DAX MY QUEEN

Julian Bashir’s original name was Dr. Amoros. He is doctor dick.

Lwuxana Troi wants Odo so bad but that goop ain’t committing

Whatever is going on between Odo and Quark

Need I mention Garak?

Mirror universe (Kira is about to kiss herself)

Almost every character is dating each other in this show and they made it canon for several but they all fall apart (Except Rom and Leela cause they’re perfect)

The O’Brien polycule… I drew it out but it got more complicated than the O’Briens (basically Julian is best friends with Miles who is married to Keiko. Keiko was on a shuttle while pregnant with Julian and Kira when there was a crash and Julian had to transfer the child from Keiko into either him or Kira, so Kira volunteered. She ends up living with the O’Brien’s while carrying the child and bonds with both of them (to the point both she and Miles think it’s weird). Kira eventually gets with Odo who is Quark’s nemesis and Quark is crushing on Jadzia who is exes with Julian who is (somewhat unknowingly) courting Garak. Jadzia Dax becomes married to Worf but I think her and Sisko have definitely fucked. Sisko is married to Kasidy and enemies with Gul Dukat who reciprocates that but is also fixated on Kira who hates him. Did I miss something?)

Now, I bet they did not count DS9 in their statistics because it’s a station not a ship but also because they’d always win this contest

SNW:

Spock and T’Pring

Spock and Chapel

Spock and Kirk

Other Kirk and La’an

Kirk and Carol ???

(All of them fail that’s why I bring it up)

Pelia has been married to another woman (not canon but it’s gotta have happened, right?)

Whatever was going on between Una and Neera in the court episode

There’s no way Uhura’s in a relationship (they might set her up with Scotty next season but I’d like to see her and Chapel)

The others do not seem romantically committed to other people

Pike’s weird dinner parties

To be honest Lower Decks is maybe the most outright vulgar in its language but most of the time it’s a feel good show about a bunch of best friends. Their captain is married, their CMO and head security officer are in a (happy?) relationship, and third thing here.

I haven’t seen any of Voyager or Enterprise and I don’t think Discovery is that horny/romantically uncommitted

[idiot-riker]

I’m in a dispute with my brother about which uniforms are the most practical. He says it’s Voyager because they’re mostly black so it doesn’t show if you get dirty during the day but I say he’s a fool who’s failing to take into account dust, dirt, etc which WILL show up on black. He also refuses to take future fabrics into account so don’t even bother thinking about that - just base it on what fabric it looks like/was probably used by the costume department.

[lyssak09]

hello love!! could i please request yandere headcanons for Q from star trek: tng? thank youu so much!!! <3

Yandere Q hcs

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!! Q is a basically canonically Yandere for Captain Janeway in Voyager. Also please enjoy my friend! 💙

Q is a manipulative, narcissistic, obsessive, and possessive yandere.

He first met you on one of his many adventures to f*ck with Picard and everyone on Enterprise. You were covering for one of your friends on the bridge.

When he saw you he froze, and he never freezes because of a puny human. You were just so breath taking.

Maybe you're different from humans. Or you're using some weird power over him, but thats highly unlikely.

Q continues his antics but he harasses you a bit. To the point Picard notices it.

Picard finds it annoying how often he harasses you during his time messing with the enterprise, and how often he forces you to be involved.

If Q doesn't see you while screwing with the Enterprise then he will force you to become a part of it some how, including threatening the captain and enterprise.

"Oh Picard, where is that little Lieutenant of yours? Its almost like you're hiding her from me. Don't tell me I have to shake the ship down till I find her?"

Q loves telling you how lucky you are to have caught the eye of an all powerful being like him. He also loves showing off how powerful he is.

He basically uses his powers as pallor tricks to impress show you how truly amazing he is.

Q periodically comes on the Enterprise to see you, and to piss of Picard.

He gets really mad if you're living your life avoidng him when he comes to visit. How dare you go on a lunch date! He is right here.

______________

“Oh, darling!” You hear a familiar voice say. ‘Oh god.’ you think. You duck your head down and look toward your date, “Don’t do anything to draw his attention please!”. Your date looks at you extremely confused, “Why are you hiding from Q?”, they whisper. You shake your head, saying you’ll explain later. All while Q is scanning the room for you, he starts to get more frustrated the longer he can’t find you. But then unfortunately for you, your server has come with your food, drawing Q’s attention to you. “Ahha! There you are my little-” Q starts to say as he nears you but then he notices you’re not sitting alone. His smile drops and his face tightens. “Who are you?” he hissed. Your date is about to introduce themselves when Q interrupts them, “Actually, I don’t care. I already know you’re an insignificant speck of matter, who has no right to be associating yourself with Y/N.”. You try to defend your date but Q snaps his fingers and sends your date to god knows where. He turns his attention back towards you, arms folded and nostrils flaring. “You should know better than to associate yourself with people like them” Q sneers. He gives you a hard stare before his personality takes a flip. “Why don’t we go eat somewhere new, hm? If you’re good I might bring your ‘friend’ back to the ship. Key word, might.”

Q loves to give you little tests, to see how you’ll respond and react. He says it's to gain more information on you humans for the continuum but that's a lie. 

He’ll try giving you powers just like he did to Riker, but whatever your answer is it doesn’t matter, he’ll find it fascinating either way. 

Because that's what you are to him, you’re a fascinating incredible human. Not that he’ll admit that to you. 

“Your race is so fascinating, you do realize how lucky you are to have caught my eye right?”

Q will eventually take you, one way or another. He already has a special dimension just for the two of you. 

The bridge crew will do whatever they can to protect you though. But it won’t be enough against him. Not unless they’re willing to start a war against an omnipotent being. 

______________

“Just give her to me and I’ll send you and your ship on your way Picard.” Q offered. Picard looks at him like he’s insane. “In case you haven’t noticed Q, but our civilization has evolved past selling humans.”, Picard spat. Q rolls his eyes which ticks Riker off. “Look Q, we’re not giving her to you. She’s a human being with rights, including the right to not give herself to a narcissistic lunatic.” Riker sneers at Q. Picard gives him a scolding look before continuing to argue with Q, “You’re not getting her Q. Now leave before this gets serious.”. Q chuckles darkly before giving Picard a pointed look. “I’m giving you one last chance Picard. Just bring her to me and nothing bad will happen.”. “That's not going to happen Q.” He glowered. Q let out a big sigh before giving Picard a wicked grin. “Well, that's too bad.” Q laughs as the ship starts to shake.

He can give you everything you could ever want, all you have to do is give in to him. Just give in and there won’t be a problem, no one will have to get hurt. Just give in

Q is willing to do and give you everything. He’ll show you the multiple universes to your heart's content, he’ll shower you with presents. But he’ll say it's because of how lucky you are to have him, not because he desperately wants to shower you with affection. 

He’ll also manipulate you to love on him. This man is desperate for your touch. Even just accidentally brushing your hand against him will do something to him.

Q can change his appearance, but he thinks the human form he’s chosen is amazing. He will change his appearance for you, but only slightly. And he won’t admit he did it because he overheard your dream guy has blue or green eyes. No, he didn’t add freckles to himself because he heard you talking about them with a coworker. He just felt like changing things up! That's why, no other reason. 

He’ll be willing to change certain things in the bedroom though, but that's for another day another headcanons. 

After a while of beating around the bush and acting subtly, he’ll just start being straightforward. (If you can call how he was acting that.)

He’ll start showing up in your quarters when you come from duty, he has changed how they looked to appear like a wedding venue and he’ll be wearing a suit and tie.

“There’s my dear little human! Are you ready for our wedding? I made it look just as amazing and spectacular as we are together.”

As time goes on his straightforwardness will get worse. Like, extremely.

“Oh my god!” You yell after coming from duty and finding a naked Q on your bed. He had just barely covered himself in rose petals. “Salut mon chéri,” Q purs with a rose in his mouth. You look around and notice all the lit candles, dimmed lights, and wine glasses. Before he knows it you’ve started throwing things at him, screaming for him to get out. He reluctantly leaves before you try attacking him.

I hope you understand how lucky you are that he hasn’t truly used his powers on you. He’s an omnipotent being for universes’ sake! With a snap of his fingers, he could have you in another universe with just you and him. Q could force you to agree to marry him. He could even force yourself on him if he gets that desperate. 

But, just because he hasn’t really used his powers yet doesn’t mean he won’t. Hopefully, you won’t push him that far.

I told you he’s utterly devoted to you right?

Like to an unhealthy amount, (who am I kidding, isn’t that part of the yandere criteria?)

Just the mere look of another human could set him off.

“Who do you think I am you harlot?! How dare you look into my eyes! I’m taken!”

The same goes if someone even glances at you. You’ll need to hold him back or something.

“HOW DARE YOU TRY TO GET INTO HER PANTS YOU WHORE!” He screeches and tries to lunge and attack the poor ensign who accidentally touched your arm. While you’re struggling to hold him back by his arm.

I’ve already mentioned that he’s manipulative but I didn’t explain how good he is at it. Of course, his powers help him manipulate people, but even without them, he’s still got a nack for it. He’s especially good at manipulating you with your own emotions. 

Q will use fear, guilt, anger, sadness, and any emotion of yours against yourself. 

Have a stalker (who he totally didn’t create) who won’t leave you be? He’ll send him away! Only if you kiss him though.

Your friend has an unexplainable incurable disease and is dying? Q will fix them up even better than before! Just agree to a date with him.

Your favorite commander (whom you were better than friends with) sacrificed themselves to save you and now you have not only grief but survivor’s guilt? He’ll bring him back with a flick of his wrist! You have to marry him and stay by his side forever though.

Just agree to be his forever and everything will be fine. Sure you might not see your family or friends again. But you’ll see every dimension and universe imaginable! And, no one gets hurt.

So unless you’re willing to sacrifice your friends’ lives, hell even the whole ship, just so he might have difficulty getting you, then by all means! Go ahead.

Just remember how much the crew cares for you, and how little Q cares for them.

[sshbpodcast]

Coming in for a landing: Finales in Star Trek

By Ames

Last week, A Star to Steer Her By talked about the first bites we got of each Star Trek series in our pilots and premieres blogpost. This week, we’re moving onto desserts to compare and contrast the lingering taste that each show’s finale leaves in your mouth. Do they wrap up their series in a satisfying way, closing out each plot arc that the show promised to give us, or do they whiff hard and kill off everyone’s favorite character for no good reason? Or did they even have a real finale at all?

We’re just covering the shows and films through Enterprise for now, so read on for our thoughts on each series’s final installation and/or listen to us argue incessantly about where Voyager’s finale should fall on the list over on the podcast (the end starts at 1:08:58). with guest star James Rossi. The sky’s the limit!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

TOS: “Turnabout Intruder”

Okay, so The Original Series should really get a pass here because not only did they not necessarily know they were getting canceled (again), but also putting together a big series-ending finale wasn’t as much of a thing back in the 60s as it is now. TOS was the most episodic of the shows, with next to no continuity between weeks to keep track of, so what exactly was there to wrap up?

Ultimately, it’s a pity that the episode that they went out on was such a trainwreck though, as it sours the final impression you’re left with when the show ends. “Turnabout Intruder” closes out the first three years of the Enterprise’s five-year mission by revealing that women cannot become captains, and depicting the one woman we get to see in the role as a hysterical, manipulative sicko. So in addition to not ending in a satisfying way, the final episode taints the idealistic future of equality that the show was going for by introducing more sexism. Couldn’t we have just ended it at “All Our Yesterdays” and called it a [yester]day?

TAS: “The Counter-Clock Incident”

It’s probably not even worth it to include The Animated Series’s finale on this list, but I’m going to anyway. Like The Original Series, the cartoon show didn’t have a planned finale by any stretch. It’s just another normal episode of the show that just happened to be the last. And in this case it was from an extremely abbreviated season of only six episodes, which seems to be pretty much how Filmation did things back then.

And also duplicating its parent show’s practice, the cartoon show also goes out with a whimper. “The Counter-Clock Incident” has the crew of the Enterprise starting to age backwards inexplicably, and the more you think about it, the more your brain will regress as well. Really when you think about it, TAS went out the same way it came in: barely animated and hardly worth your time.

TOS Films: The Undiscovered Country

Finally, our original hero crew gets the send off they deserve when we reach the films, and Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country leaves us feeling satisfied at how we’ve seen the last of them. Until Generations, I guess. But the final foray of the crew of the Enterprise (no A, no B, no C, no bloody D!) together as a singular unit really does them justice. The film closes out their adventures by having them fighting to keep the peace and protect the lives of people on both sides of yet another Federation-Klingon skirmish. It’s one of the core Trek pillars: always do the more ethical thing.

After our little adventure with Chang and Admiral Cartright (hey, remember him from Jake’s evil admirals list we bring up all the time?), the bridge crew has a closing moment on the bridge that feels final, like they’re saying goodbye to us in the audience and thanking us for following along throughout the years.

TNG: “All Good Things…”

We begin The Next Generation with a Q riddle, and we end it on another Q riddle. And it’s somehow part of the same Q riddle. It’s ingenious! Say what you will about weird time travel and revisiting previous moments from the show for the audience to recognize, but “All Good Things…” executes it all so well that even tropey ideas that could have fallen flat feel fresh and inspiring. The finale is mostly a culmination of the pilot we talked about last week, but it works. And boy, does Patrick Stewart bring it!

As a close to the show, the TNG finale delivers the kind of episode it’s always promised: an ethical debate about how humanity should act in the face of disaster. And while the show as a whole doesn’t have the most noticeable arc, seeing versions of the crew from the past and the future allows us to still appreciate how far we’ve come together. Having Picard join his crew at the poker table is the perfect lasting image for this show and its characters to promise us that while we’ve finished this chapter of their adventures, they will go on.

TNG Films: Nemesis

But what they go on to is the TNG movies, necessitating another close to their journey by the time we get to Star Trek: Nemesis, arguably the worst of all the Trek films. Unlike the cast of The Original Series, everyone on team TNG knew they were producing movies, and quickly, so their poignant and satisfying ending to the television show could barely linger before the crew was up on the big screen. And the second time we said goodbye to our Starfleet friends is a slap to the face.

While The Undiscovered Country sends off our heroes in a heart-warming and optimistic fashion, Nemesis goes for gasps. In the final moments, everyone left is depressed and with no direction. The Wrath of Khan makes Spock’s sacrifice meaningful and powerful, but this movie is no Wrath of Khan, which also had future movies being planned. Data’s death, on the other hand, leaves the audience asking “what the hell?” I don’t know when it became such a commonality to kill off a beloved character at the end of a show or movie, but it’s also not the last we’re going to see of this rather un-Trekkian stunt.

DS9: “What You Leave Behind”

Deep Space Nine had a LOT of threads to tie up by the time it reached “What You Leave Behind.” And some of those threads tie off cleanly, while others are pretty frayed at their ends. There may have just been too many things going on to wrap up. The Dominion War: good. A really good conclusion there. The Changeling disease: also shakes out in a satisfying way, with a farewell to Odo that brings a tear to your eye without destroying the integrity of the character.

And then in the middle of a party at Vic’s, Sisko remembers out of the blue that he still has to wrap up the fire caves! It feels like an afterthought, which makes no sense because the show had a ten-part arc to work all this out. Dukat has his sight back out of nowhere. He and Winn rush through their scenes so that more time can be spent in the space battle, I guess. Don’t get me wrong: Deep Space Nine is stellar, and it’s a lovely change of pace to see that its characters will be moving on to very different lives. But they maybe bit off more than they could chew.

VOY: “Endgame”

Of all the finales we’re discussing, Voyager’s is the one we agree the least on. I personally love time travel and Borg (you saw that First Contact is my favorite Trek movie, right?), so I’m a big fan. So much of a fan that I can overlook some of the flaws the other SSHB hosts bring up on the podcast. Like how Admiral Janeway’s plan is questionable at best, and selfish and criminal at worst. Or how we never actually get any closure on the Maquis plot, which probably should have been resolved somewhere in the last season.

I’ll admit that we don’t get as good of a final moment as we get in “As Good Things…” The Voyager makes it back to the Alpha Quadrant and… then the show just sorta ends. I’m not saying that we should have had a bunch of epilogue moments with all the characters (that would grind the pacing to a halt), but an ending in which the crew sets foot on Earth would have felt more cathartic. Janeway gets to hug her dog. Paris introduces his father to his daughter—and they actually exchange dialogue, for crying out loud! But whatever. The goal of the finale is to get Voyager home, and it delivers that in a clever sci-fi story. And Kate Mulgrew rocks this episode so hard that I forgive it for any of its issues.

ENT: “These Are the Voyages…”

This one belongs on the bottom of any list of finales. “These Are the Voyages…” is deep in the running in our Bottom Five Episodes of Enterprise list, and for good reason. It’s not even an episode of Enterprise, so it obviously isn’t going to be received as a good finale for Enterprise. Jumping ahead six years is jarring. Having everything onboard the Enterprise be a holodeck program makes the whole thing ring false and easily discountable. And framing it as an installment of The Next Generation is a slap in the face to the show and its fans, if there were any.

And Trip’s death seems even more unearned here than Data’s was in Nemesis. We’re forced to lose another fan-favorite character… for this? Even if the team had just learned they were canceled without much time to prepare, apparently they had this option in their back pocket, and it should have stayed there collecting lint. “Terra Prime” was a perfectly fitting way to wrap things up without shitting on your own show. In the words of George Takei: “Way to kill the franchise, Bakula.”

—

One of these days, we’ll come back for the finales of the shows of the streaming era (some of which are fast approaching as I write this!), but we’ve got lots of other topics to cover until then, so make sure you’re following this space. You can also listen along as we watch through episodes of Discovery over on the podcast on SoundCloud or wherever you get your podcasts, and sit down with us at our poker table over on Facebook. Set your heading to the second star to the left, and straight on ‘til morning.

[isagrimorie]

Veteran producer Simon Kinberg, who oversaw most of the “X-Men” movies for 20th Century Fox, is in talks to produce an upcoming “Star Trek” movie for Paramount Pictures, Variety has confirmed.

Insiders say the film is intended as an origin story for the main timeline of the “Star Trek” franchise (rather than the alternate, Kelvin timeline started with 2009’s “Star Trek”), set in the aftermath of humanity’s first contact with aliens.

No DAMMIT.

Don’t you guys mean Star Trek: Enterprise???

Paramount going back to the well of TOS era rather than move forward in a post-Voyager, post-Picard era because for some reason they’re still wrongfully terrified Star Trek Nemesis tanked.

So they’re going forward with a pre-TOS movie no one wanted, from the dude who made X-Men Dark Phoenix twice. The ones that bombed hard.

Kinberg is a picture of a dude failing upwards.

I just want a post-Picard show/movie in the 25th Century with Captain Seven. Can’t we just move forward???

[star-trek-fandom-confessions]

I think confession blogs should be for expressing opinions which are unpopular or embarrassing/guilty pleasures. That’s what makes them fun to read.

If people look in the SNW tags they will find that disliking SNW Spock, the Vulcan bioessentialism in Charades and the S3 clip and concerns around the Gorn are incredibly popular opinions - even among SNW fans - and talked about ad nauseum.

I can only conclude that people ‘confessing’ about those things are involved/experienced enough at fandom/tumblr to notice the majority of fans agree with them or they’re just using this blog to complain about how much they hate something to a wider audience than their regular blogs can achieve.

Anyway, it’s boring. I think you should consider not reposting confessions where pretty much the exact same thing has been ‘confessed’ more than three times already.

I’d mean less for you and more fun for the readers.

Uhm, no?

Who said that confessions have to be unpopular or embarrassing, or only come once, to qualify for this blog? Should I have binned the confessions that love Voyager and Enterprise, or the ones who thirst for Data, the ones who are critical of AOS, Jack Crusher, Bashir's bouts of bad characterization with women, every confession that was popular and/or was similar to another? So imagine a new fan spends months binge watching the whole franchise, and they have a lot of opinions, and they want to complain a bit about AOS and PICARD and SNW (this was my experience, only I didn't have an anonymous platform) and in their rush they find this blog and don't have the time or the energy to look for confessions that match their own. Or maybe they still want to use their words. Or they just really want to see their words on the blog. All valid reasons. I find the confession, and I think "Oh, another confession that hates on AOS/PIC/SNW. There's a lot of those so I'll just delete this one." I ask you, is this fair? Achieving more views for an opinion is one purpose of this blog (though to be honest, how popular each specific confession gets is entirely out of my or the OPs' hands; most of this blog's confessions never reach 100 notes), and sometimes some of those opinions will suck to you personally. If only you knew how many I see that I don't like... and yet here I am still. I didn't think I'd have to say this but no I cannot reject a confession because it's a subject repeated ad nauseam and it's personally annoying for a certain group of fans. I'm sorry you think it's boring, and believe me that sometimes I agree, but if you can't ignore and scroll, you can block the tags critical confession, anti strange new worlds, anti snw, the tags that I make sure to include in the posts? I realize most blogs that make critical posts about it don't bother with anti tags, but that is not on me or the people I run this blog for. If I mess up and you need me to change/add tags, can you notify me in a comment so I can fix it? People, I'm trying to be neutral for everyone and give everybody the means to avoid reading things you don't like, as much as I am able. Are you making good use of them?

[fatehbaz]

The “goal of civilization” should be to get these delicious tropical pineapples shipped up to kitchen tables in St. Petersburg.

Much to consider here.

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Anton Chekhov, it appears, was not the first Russian literary luminary to visit Hong Kong. Chekhov had stopped off in October 1890 and wrote about its “wonderful bay”. [...] But Chekhov was beaten to the punch by Ivan Goncharov who stopped by in 1853. Goncharov is now best now known for his novel Oblamov, but his bestseller at the time was a 700-page tome of travel-writing called The Frigate Pallada. Goncharov had been taken, as a sort of official scribe, on the Russian naval expedition sent to “open Japan”. If that sounds like American Commodore Matthew Perry’s expedition, it very much was: the Pallada arrived in Japan several weeks after Perry. The Pallada [...] went [...] via the Cape of Good Hope, Java, Singapore, Hong Kong and Shanghai, with side-trips to Manila, Korea and the Ryukyus. [...] Edyta M Bojanowska relates all this, and much more [in her book] [...]. Bojanowska uses Goncharov’s travelogue as a window on Russia, a window through which to view the European, and particularly British, imperial project [...].

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Russia’s Pacific history is little known, perhaps even in Russia. [...]

In the library [...], I once came across a book entitled La Frontera ruso-mexicana: “The Russian-Mexican Border”. There actually was one in what is now California in the first part of the 1800s. Nikolai Rezanov had tried to open Japan in 1804; he got nowhere. (He did however continue on to North America and all the way down to San Francisco where he got engaged to Conchita, the [...] daughter of the Spanish governor, a story which became a late Soviet-era rock opera.)

---

Alaska ended up being sold to the United States a decade or so after Goncharov’s voyage. [...] Goncharov’s [book] [...] “strains to project an image of Russia as a confident and competent peer of European colonial empires.” [...] Goncharov was a product of his age. He was furthermore an anglophile and thought that the British had on the whole the right ideas about empire. (He did however find their ubiquity annoying: his idyll on Madeira is ruined by seeing so many of them. “They’re here too?” he wrote.) He would occasionally take the imperialists to task for some particularly egregious injustice, but he never questioned the enterprise. He just thought Russia should have a piece of the action.

---

Goncharov settled on Korea as a good potential target for Russia (“Goncharov Island” is now known as Mayang-do Island, the site of a [...] missile base) [...]. The book hit the ground running, went through ten editions by the end of the century, and seems never really to have been out of print [...]. Singapore gets a slightly fuller treatment. Goncharov marvels at the pineapples piled up “like turnips”. “The goal of civilization,” Bojanowska quotes him, is to get these pineapples up to St Petersburg where they were currently unheard of luxury items. (Goncharov’s equating of capitalism with tropical fruit is reminiscent of the [...] [twentieth-century] fascination with bananas.)

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Text above by: Peter Gordon. A book review published under the title '“A World of Empires: The Russian Voyage of the Frigate Pallada” by Edyta M Bojanowska'. Published online in the Essays, Non-Fiction, and Reviews sections of Asian Review of Books. 10 July 2018. [Bold emphasis and some paragraph breaks/contractions added by me. Italicized first lines in this post added by me. Presented here for commentary, teaching, criticism.]

[lostyesterday]

I finally finished Enterprise season 1!

Things I liked:

The cast is fun! My favorite characters are still Hoshi and T’Pol, but I really like Travis and Phlox too (although the lack of focus on Travis is tragic). I generally like Trip and Malcolm except when they’re written as being really sexist, ugh.

I’m enjoying the development of Vulcan and Andorian culture so far, although I’m really hoping for more focus on the Andorians in the rest of the show. I think I like the mixed/partially negative depiction of Vulcans from the perspective of humans. It’s interesting.

I think Enterprise is doing a surprisingly good job of being a prequel. It feels like the creators of the show put genuine effort into thinking about how the world of Star Trek would have been a century before TOS. I like the way Enterprise retroactively shows how much human and Vulcan society have changed over time. It’s not as if I love every single retroactive bit of world-building, but even the aspects I don’t like I can generally appreciate and see how there was some thought put into them (unlike some of the other Star Trek prequels tbh, I won’t name names).

The crew movie nights and the other little moments of regular life interspersed throughout episodes are great. Phlox teaching Hoshi his language, Hoshi convincing Travis to sit in the captain’s chair – all these moments go a long way toward making the crew feel like a cohesive group even when there’s not much individual development of anyone except Archer, T’Pol, and Trip.

The way the characters feel less prepared and more uncertain than the crew of any other Trek show because they’re the first and they’re making things up as they go is great too. I think Enterprise nailed that vibe for the first season of the show at least – similarly to how I think Voyager really managed to capture the vibe of being stranded far away from home, giving it a different feeling from any other Star Trek show.

My favorite episodes were The Andorian Incident and Fallen Hero.

Things I didn’t like (under the cut because I don’t want to put negativity straight into the tag):

The sexism. I was prepared for it, but it’s annoying how much (arguably) worse it is compared to the 90’s shows.

It wouldn’t exactly be accurate to say that I dislike Archer because I liked him fine in some episodes, but the fact that he’s definitely my least favorite of the main cast is irritating given that he’s the main character. Whenever T’Pol takes command of Enterprise, I find her so much more fun to watch as the captain than I do Archer.

I wouldn’t say that Enterprise season 1 has a higher proportion of bad episodes compared to the first seasons of Voyager, DS9, and especially TNG, but it does have a higher proportion of boring episodes – episodes that aren’t actively bad but that I just found myself having almost no interest in. This is 90% of the reason I took so long getting through the first season.

I’d also like to specifically complain about all the episodes that made it seem like Travis or Hoshi was going to be a major part before switching them out for Trip or T’Pol or even Malcolm at the last second. I thought the sidelining of the characters of color in Voyager was bad, but it’s even worse in Enterprise so far.

And I’d also like to complain about the episode Shadows of P’Jem which tricked me into thinking Shran would be a major part of it only for him to be in like three scenes. I can’t believe how few episodes he’s in, everyone made it sound like he was a much more major character. :(

I already complained about the Trip pregnancy episode, but I’d also like to complain about the Risa episode which was both bad in the normal ways for a Risa episode and also incredibly transphobic.

Idk what I think about Trip/T’Pol yet (I could go either way depending on how things progress), but at least it isn’t Archer/T’Pol. Every single time the writers tried to force a Moment between them was painful.

Overall opinion: I didn’t hate it! I half expected to hate it, so that’s good. So far, nothing has particularly grabbed me, but it’s significantly better than I expected, I think! I’m hoping season 2 has fewer boring episodes.

[mindutme]

Sdefa Sdaturday #6

Today I have a short new Sdefa text! I couldn’t think of anything to write or translate, so I was looking through my list of words and one thing that happened to catch my eye was a few words which were borrowed from various Star Trek theme songs. So I decided to try to fit several of them into one short text! The following has five words derived from the theme songs of The Original Series, The Next Generation, Deep Space 9, Voyager, and Enterprise (plus two more words to make it actually make sense).

Traveling on the next road, I saw nine stars.

Unlike some other Sdefa texts, I decided to emphasize the quotations in this one. They’re never longer than four notes, but especially at the beginning I kept the original rhythms and tried to capture some of the same sound.

The five Star Trek-derived word are, in the order they appear in the Sdefa text:

star — from the beginning of the original Star Trek theme

nine — from the DS9 theme (notes 9-12, as the first four mean “deep” and the next four after that mean “space”)

road — from the Enterprise theme (“It’s been a long road”)

next — from the beginning of the Next Generation theme

travel — from the Voyager theme (it also means “voyage,” of course, but translating it as “travel” makes more sense here)

Below, the text is written out as music with the root words marked. All the other notes in the melody are prefixes and suffixes with grammatical information; the harmony parts are just there to make it sound nice.

[clementine-kesh]

Rewatching tng rn and the way k’ehleyr is treated on enterprise crew vs. the way b’elanna is treated on voyager is so fascinating because despite the fact that they’re both half Klingon women k’ehleyr doesn’t seem to be radicalized as much if at all compared to b’elanna even tho she has a much stronger tie to the Klingon empire and looks way more Klingon

admittedly it’s been a long time since i’ve watched through all of tng but yeah it’s a really interesting point of comparison! like, i don’t think tng is any more or less progressive than voyager when it comes to race overall, they both have their highs and lows. but i also think when it comes to b’elanna specifically the voyager writers were trying so hard to make a point about race and being othered that they often wrapped back around to just being racist. she’s similar to chakotay in terms of characters who had so much potential but missed the mark pretty often because they were being handled by an exclusively white writers room

[renthebarbarian]

Ranking the Starfleet uniforms based on how much cunt they serve

TOS show uniforms — 1/10, barely cunt. It’s okay, they were built for comfort and functionality, they don’t have to be cunty

TOS Mirrorverse uniforms — 3/10 cunt for adding knives and little sashes, but at the end of the day these are just regular TOS uniforms with more accessories (the costume budget was extremely limited okay?). Now Uhura and Kirk? THEY are serving major cunt in this episode. 10/10 for both of them.

TMP uniforms — -100000007/10 cunt for the grey and beige onesies. but 6/10 cunt for that one white short sleeved shirt Shatner wore in the “will you PLEASE sit? down???” scene. you know the one.

TOS movies (the red uniforms) — 4/10, a modest amount of cunt. we’re trying to look like we have a costuming budget now but also everyone is old so we can’t serve too much cunt (that’s a lie, you’re never too old to serve cunt)

TNG — 2/10 on the cunty scale, it’s better than the TOS series but they’re still just glorified pajamas. Now if they had kept the skants? Mayhaps a 4/10.

DS9 — also 2/10 because I feel like while these are less flattering to the figure than TNG, they did add the slutty little slit to the collar so, it’s a wash

Voyager — 3/10 because this is the best of both worlds between TNG and DS9’s uniforms, keeping the cunty waist but also the slutty neck slit (they did shorten it tho so boo to that). 28924962681378/10 cunt for Janeway in her tank top (naturally).

Enterprise — there is no cunt here. You cannot serve cunt in a jumpsuit. I’m sorry. However, these are in fact my favorite uniforms because they’re just so fucking precious. Like awwww, look at the little space explorers in their little jumpsuits and matching baseball caps. And they’re purple too, slayyyy. Honorable mention.

Too lazy to get into Modern Trek, maybe part 2???