#they’re not human. they don’t fit in while they’re in a world full of humans

[lakka-arts]

hello to my very cursed thoughts

what if. witchernatural?

[nasa]

Athletes Go for the Gold with NASA Spinoffs

NASA technology tends to find its way into the sporting world more often than you’d expect. Fitness is important to the space program because astronauts must undergo the extreme g-forces of getting into space and endure the long-term effects of weightlessness on the human body. The agency’s engineering expertise also means that items like shoes and swimsuits can be improved with NASA know-how.

As the 2024 Olympics are in full swing in Paris, here are some of the many NASA-derived technologies that have helped competitive athletes train for the games and made sure they’re properly equipped to win.

The LZR Racer reduces skin friction drag by covering more skin than traditional swimsuits. Multiple pieces of the water-resistant and extremely lightweight LZR Pulse fabric connect at ultrasonically welded seams and incorporate extremely low-profile zippers to keep viscous drag to a minimum.

Swimsuits That Don’t Drag

When the swimsuit manufacturer Speedo wanted its LZR Racer suit to have as little drag as possible, the company turned to the experts at Langley Research Center to test its materials and design. The end result was that the new suit reduced drag by 24 percent compared to the prior generation of Speedo racing suit and broke 13 world records in 2008. While the original LZR Racer is no longer used in competition due to the advantage it gave wearers, its legacy lives on in derivatives still produced to this day.

Trilion Quality Systems worked with NASA’s Glenn Research Center to adapt existing stereo photogrammetry software to work with high-speed cameras. Now the company sells the package widely, and it is used to analyze stress and strain in everything from knee implants to running shoes and more.

High-Speed Cameras for High-Speed Shoes

After space shuttle Columbia, investigators needed to see how materials reacted during recreation tests with high-speed cameras, which involved working with industry to create a system that could analyze footage filmed at 30,000 frames per second. Engineers at Adidas used this system to analyze the behavior of Olympic marathoners' feet as they hit the ground and adjusted the design of the company’s high-performance footwear based on these observations.

Martial artist Barry French holds an Impax Body Shield while former European middle-weight kickboxing champion Daryl Tyler delivers an explosive jump side kick; the force of the impact is registered precisely and shown on the display panel of the electronic box French is wearing on his belt.

One-Thousandth-of-an-Inch Punch

In the 1980s, Olympic martial artists needed a way to measure the impact of their strikes to improve training for competition. Impulse Technology reached out to Glenn Research Center to create the Impax sensor, an ultra-thin film sensor which creates a small amount of voltage when struck. The more force applied, the more voltage it generates, enabling a computerized display to show how powerful a punch or kick was.

Astronaut Sunita Williams poses while using the Interim Resistive Exercise Device on the ISS. The cylinders at the base of each side house the SpiraFlex FlexPacks that inventor Paul Francis honed under NASA contracts. They would go on to power the Bowflex Revolution and other commercial exercise equipment.

Weight Training Without the Weight

Astronauts spending long periods of time in space needed a way to maintain muscle mass without the effect of gravity, but lifting free weights doesn’t work when you’re practically weightless. An exercise machine that uses elastic resistance to provide the same benefits as weightlifting went to the space station in the year 2000. That resistance technology was commercialized into the Bowflex Revolution home exercise equipment shortly afterwards.

Want to learn more about technologies made for space and used on Earth? Check out NASA Spinoff to find products and services that wouldn’t exist without space exploration.   

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

[zhongrin]

with you...

◇ characters ◇ zhongli, al haitham, childe, tighnari, wanderer

◇ tags ◇ fluff, slight angst in zhongli’s i’m sorry i couldn’t resist, childe’s is a little suggestive

◇ a/n ◇ i am so down bad for zhongli (but yall probably know this already huh)

𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 �� 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

…. zhongli knows he could dress in rags and you’d still call him handsome. you’ve called him a variety of names and titles - sweet and silly ones, sensual and sultry ones - and he adores them all, adopts them as part of his identity as the mortal being that is zhongli, and refers back to you with the utmost reverence. he knows he need not resent his former names nor his more brutish appearances, for you’ve seen them past their monstrosity and still sees something beautiful in all of them. you’ve shown him how you’ve embraced him in his entirety; his past and his present, and his future.

with you, he can’t wait to experience your life together.

(- yet he knows every journey has its end, and so he promises himself that he’ll appreciate you every step of the way)

…. al haitham knows he doesn’t need to sugarcoat his words. you already know that he’s straightforward and blunt with his remarks and intentions, yet still, you choose to be with him. it’s not that he can’t “read the room” or “be a little more attentive”; he just doesn’t think he’s fit for the job if praises and reassurances that can barely hold any water are what people want in those situations. he also knows that you understand the nature of his job without him having to spell it out for you; he likes that he can talk or grumble about all the darkest secrets of the akademiya along with all of its forbidden secrets, and you would store it in your memory in a drawer where only he has the key to unlocking them.

with you, he doesn’t need to hold back - be it his words, his secrets, or his love, he knows you’ll accept them all and treasure them gently within your arms.

…. childe knows he can trust you with ajax. the lonely, repressed, forced-to-grow-up-far-too-soon ajax. gone is the fearsome and bloodthirsty eleventh harbinger; every time he sees you, he feels like he’s a child all over again, seeing his favorite toy and snuggling into the comfiest blanket that smells like home. he knows you would indulge his every request, from a head pat to a full-on embrace that lasts for the whole day. from a bite of the cake you’re having to a whole ten-course meal. from a little peck to a make-out session that turns into something more… you continue to spoil him despite your nagging and little exasperated huffs. he thinks it’s very very cute and endearing. sometimes tartaglia thinks he doesn’t deserve you, but ajax has already forgotten a world without you and firmly refuses to let you go with that childish mentality of his.

with you, his haven, childe knows he could be in touch with his child self and be as selfish as he wants in reveling within your love, because it seems like you’ve already long since made your home in his heart and won’t be leaving anytime soon, much to his delight.

…. tighnari knows he can fully indulge in his baser instincts and you’ll let him. you might complain, but your words won’t have any bites on them and your body will support him to let him take as much as he needed. his nesting behaviors should be an oddity in normal humans’ eyes (he can’t help stealing your clothes because the smell of his mate comforts him and helps him sleep, okay, get your mind off the gutter), yet you tell him he’s adorable and ask him if you can join in. the little fangs in his mouth should be something people are wary of (they’re made for rip and tear upon intimidation, a tool made to fight against danger), yet you tap on them whenever he bares his teeth and tells him his ‘little fangies’ are cute. you’re such a weird lummox. and tighnari loves this weird lummox so, so much.

with you, he sees a mate and a partner for life, and while fennec foxes don’t normally enjoy cuddles, he supposes he can make an exception.

….. wanderer knows he can trust you to pull him back to where he needs to be whenever he’s lost. you’ve always been meddlesome and kinder than you should be with scaramouche, and even with his new identity you’re just as nosy, and he’s grateful for it. you know not to take him seriously when he’s just acting like he doesn’t want you around, but you know to put your foot down when he tries to push you away because he’s starting to doubt himself all over again. he knows he’s not the best lover out there - hell, he’s pretty convinced that he's the worst lover in all of teyvat. but you... you stick with him regardless. you pinch his cheeks and kiss his forehead and do all the things that somehow manage to make him blush. he might not be the best lover on teyvat, but he knows that you are. so he’ll keep trying his best, just for you.

with you, his captivating dancing doll, maybe the soldier doll has managed to form a heart before it could burn to ashes after all.

— with you, i know i am where i belong, and i know that i am safe and loved.

© zhongrin | 2023��◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

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[someidiot-withadhd]

So uhm…

Sanders Sides Fantasy AU!!!

Hehe..

Please I’ve spent four days on this

Explanations and extra details under the cut! And close ups of everyone!!

Well there everyone is!

So, for some basic info, this is kinda based off of D&D but I’m too lazy to give everyone classes and stats, so they just get races!

This is set in a world that Roman created in the imagination, and dragged everyone along with him. Maybe by accident, maybe on purpose.. maybe he was just missing the others.. it had been so long since they’ve all been together, so why not take them on an adventure!

Patton: A frogfolk! He’s already one of the shortest, and even shorter now! That’s doesn’t bother him though, if anything were to bother him, it would be the memory of his past experience being a frog… But no matter! If they’re stuck in the imagination until they finish their quest, he’ll just have to do what’s needed! (And he’ll collect every shiny thing he sees on the way, even if it puts him in danger!)

Logan: A faun. Not his first choice, but whatever makes the others happy. Thankfully, he got to keep his tie, and his book. That’ll help keep him focused in this unfamiliar world. And if only his fur would stay neat, no mater what he does it’s always unruly, it’s irritating.

Virgil: Mr. Panic at the everywhere finally has a form to match, maybe. A phantom? Well that fits. Although why is he neither an animal or human? Is it because he’s left the dark sides..? No.. he’s getting paranoid again.. and why does he have a knife?

Janus: yes he may be the two-faced snake of the group, but that doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy! He’s trying to do better, honestly. And turning him into a Hydra seems kind of mean, don’t you think? No this wasn’t his doing, he never wanted to be here in the first place.. well, if he’s here he should probably make the best of it.

Roman: A dragon, just like his dreams! Of course, he never expected to be a dragon himself, but the tail and wings are really cool! And besides, why not make the best out of his forced family bonding time! It’s not like he’s scared to talk to them after they’ve drifted apart or anything! No, the great prince Roman is fearless!

Remus: oh, what do we have here? Roman and co. are in the imagination? Well why not turn this to my advantage! We’ll see how they’re doing in there, and maybe pull some strings, take this into my own hands, and twist this to my liking. And I better change to match, besides, it’ll be nice not being cold blooded for a while. This will be an amazing little adventure, won’t it, ————?

So, all the dark sides have animal traits right? Why not take this a step further, and make them full animals!

Woah, thanks for reading this far! I’m super excited about this, but still, it’s only a concept, and stuff could change!

[genshin-scenarios]

android au - personal assistant droids

Summary: In a modern-futuristic world, it's possible to create androids that are so advanced, they’re more or less human. There will be 5 android au posts total, each focusing on a different group! 

T.D.H. is a line designed to help busy users! They were intended for corporate higher-ups for personal assistant work around the workplace, but because of how attractive their designs are, it's not uncommon for regular people to save up for them to make their everyday lives simpler (and livelier).

Characters: Diluc, Childe, Kaeya, Zhongli, Ayato, Thoma

More like this: Anemo companion droids, Anemo droids who lost their previous user

To have Diluc as a personal assistant feels out of place, to say the least; his demeanor is a little too prince-like, or at least, you can easily imagine him as the heir of a corporation if he was human. So within the first few days you’re quick to ask him to address you casually - you don’t think your conscience can handle having someone like that treating you like a superior.

Diluc does prefer having some sense of structure however, so he still arranges your appointments and keeps track of everything else he was designed to do. He finds comfort in ticking off the tasks on his list, though he’s not sure why you request for him to wear fake glasses every now and then ‘for personal reasons’.

If you have guests over, Diluc makes a talented bartender! Though to your dismay (or joy, depending on you), he’d always limit the amount of alcohol in your drink or omit it entirely. Something about how he’d rather have you conscious even if your guests aren’t, and that if you really wanted to drink, you could do so once you two were alone.

‘Why, do you want me just for yourself, Diluc?’

‘...If that’s what you’d like to hear, I wouldn’t be opposed to taking that as an order.’

Childe is the kind of assistant droid who you never see actually doing work. He makes it seem like all he does is chat with people and dote on you, but you’re aware that once you aren’t around, he makes sure to run through his checklist and finish off the accounts for the month in his head. Such was the wonders of technology, to allow him to upload files to a cloud system without needing to physically type things down. 

He’s also very attentive, though you didn’t realize this at first because of how talkative he was. Distracted by his jokes and charms, you almost forget that Childe really is looking out for you every step of the way until he has his arm around you - not to flirt, but to keep you from bumping into the crowd of people on the street.

Childe is a good cook, but what he likes even more is asking you to taste-test his creations. While he can’t actually consume food, he has sensors on his tongue that allow him to detect flavors (very useful for when he’s buying desserts or snacks, and needed to try samples to see if they fit your taste).

‘A house-husband? Well, I guess that’s technically what I am. But don’t forget I can fight too, Master~’

Have someone you need to email or call but you really don’t want to? That's where Kaeya comes along to take care of your social interactions!

Jokes aside, he really is the most talkative model in this collection. Sly as he is, Kaeya isn't a stranger to figuring out which people or tasks you dislike, and rewards you with a gift after you finally drag your feet to get it over with.

He’s good at countering procrastination in this way, such as buying your favorite snacks or preparing a movie night for you when you get home. Kaeya sometimes dries your hair for you too after you shower, and quietly muses that you probably had a long day, when you doze off before the movie manages to cross the fifteen-minute mark.

Kaeya enjoys driving or escorting you to places too, knowing full-well he looks like a doting boyfriend when he does so. He dresses stylishly and would talk to passersby while waiting, telling them about this wonderful and super-important person… only to welcome you with the same amount of grandeur. He finds it cute when you half-heartedly scold him for it, saying he’ll make people misunderstand the situation.

‘What is there to misunderstand, Y/N? I thought you said we’d be together for as long as you lived? I was rather looking forward to that.’

An encyclopedia of knowledge, Zhongli has an elegant personality and voice that you could listen to for hours. He’s rather adept at keeping track of your accounting needs in particular, though you’ve learned quickly that he has a rather skewed sense of money when he spends it himself—you had to send him to buy last-minute groceries because you already started cooking at home, only for him to return with… way too many of the same ingredient, because it was on promotion.

That aside, Zhongli does emphasize the need to manage your mental and physical health quite a lot. He makes you medicinal teas and offers to give you massages quite regularly, though there’s nothing scarier than his offer to do chiropractic maneuvers at home… you tried to change the topic quickly after that, telling him you’re feeling great - so there’s no need for such a thing!

As much as he likes to ramble about topics that he’s interested in, Zhongli is an android that listens to you very well. He’d take note of information that might be useful in the future, such as things you said you’d like to buy or were curious about.

‘Today I thought it’d be beneficial to attempt an acupuncture treatment. …Just kidding. I heard that the flowers in the park would be blooming this season. Shall we go on a walk?’

Ayato's a little picky with his users. They don’t have to be rich corporate heirs or someone of prestige, but Ayato is an android with a personality that gets bored easily; he even comes with a warning label that he might get up to shenanigans if paired with an incompatible user, but once he finds a person intriguing enough, he’s loyal to a fault.

Sure, he still enjoys teasing you and keeping you on your toes, but for the most part Ayato practically sees you as the center of his world, though he presents himself to suggest otherwise. His work record is absolutely spotless, and sometimes he even predicts what you might request from him before you have to, getting it done while saying it’s all in a day’s work.

Just make sure you don’t let him cook unsupervised, as Ayato is quite curious about… experimenting with flavors, you could say. By which you mean he’d add the randomest ingredients into an otherwise normal recipe, which would sometimes be too adventurous for your palette to handle.

You realize just how much he dotes on you during one rainy day, where Ayato walks you home under an umbrella as he asks how your day was. In moments like that, his expression is just soft enough that you might be fooled into thinking it was love.

The perfect model for tired users, Thoma has a caring personality that warms the heart. Cooking, cleaning, and making sure you wake up on time? He's got it all covered!

Honestly, you don’t think your place has felt this homey until Thoma got here. During the first few days he asked you what you’d like out of your home - what activities you do to wind down, how often you work on your laptop, and other details. You thought these were just conversation starters at first, until weeks later, you started to see the vision of what he wished to give to you: 

A place where you could shed away the worries and expectations of the outside world. To rest safely and feel reinvigorated by the time you had to go out again - sometimes with Thoma in tow as he busied himself with self-appointed tasks (related to housekeeping). You realize after a while that Thoma views the upkeep of your home as a source of pride.

He likes to knit and crochet items for you whenever he has time, too. Little accessories to put on top of headphones, beanies, and even blankets to use around the house. Once, when the weather was unbearably cold and the heater wasn’t working, Thoma forgot his lack of body heat and attempted to warm up your hands with his own. 

[sleepy-spacetronaut]

Info sheet for the Human Bill design + some drawings

*had to censor because I don’t know if it would get me yeeted off Tumblr or not.

The Handyman Bill AU is actually interesting because there are multiple outcome possibilities from there…

For one, I like the idea of Bill exiting the Theraprism to find himself with most of his powers stripped away and be taken in by Soos and Melody to live and work with them in the mystery shack. I can imagine the amount of shenanigans he’d drag the Pines family into.

On the topic of appearance

Ive seen a ton of anthropomorphic Bill Cipher designs over the past weeks, and each has a cool concept with their own specialties (Spoony’s design is particularly notable). My Bill, unfortunately, looks like a middle aged, expired version of the ‘twink Bill’ from around 2015, except with longer hair. This design is different from what I had imagined it to be, so I chose to draw Bill in 3 stages (as a kid, young adult and as a middle aged man. I’ll post his younger form sometimes later) so the character design wouldn’t go to waste.

For the outfit, I just went with what I’ve seen people draw him clothed in and what I thought would look comfortable. I feel like after being trapped in the Theraprism for ‘rehab’, he would be neglectful of his overall appearance, instead of going for fancier stuff like tuxedos or coats and capes, he’d probably enjoy to wear baggy clothes you can easily throw in the washer and won’t require thorough maintenance. (He might look dusty, but he takes baths, I swear—)

They’re a few variations of what he wears while still with the totality of his powers, maybe I will give him another , more elaborate outfit. I have yet to draw a full body version of Bill where I can show his tattoos and scars—currently I must decide on what to do with his face, I have too many single-eyed ocs, and I’d like to add an original touch to him.

When would the AU in which Bill returns take place?

After the Weirdmaggedon occurred, the residents of Gravity Falls were probably still shaken by the amount of strange and atrocious things they experienced. They’re great chances they’d still be triggered when they see cipher script or anything that reminds them of the evil triangle demon.

In the case of my design for him ,and potential fanfiction outline, Bill would have returned into the dimension where the Pines family won two years after the events, so the traumatic events are fresh in their collective memory. So, Bill would be put under intense scrutiny (by everyone but especially Stan and Ford, they’d be mistrustful of him) and be forced to cover up his tattoos when at work…and in general.

Bill would have a certain reluctance to work at the shack, he’d try to scam the customers to get the sales up upon and get caught red handed at it, or try slacking off during his shifts to try to sneak in Ford’s lab in search for anything that could help him restore his power to its former glory.

The highlight of his days would potentially be to annoy the Pines family, bonding with Mabel and Dipper (being let onto their gossip and some activities they do, maybe help out with their studies as well), and ABOVE ALL, to have some alone time at night to stare at the starry sky.

Psychological traits and etc.

As for his personality, he would be a lot less flamboyant, still as sassy as Weber though, perhaps grouchy from being forced to interact with ‘insufferable sentient meat sacks trapped in a cage of bones with a squishy exterior’. From the majority of cases I have observed, Bill keeps a nonchalant attitude, he is fairly collected and only truly lets out his emotions when it comes to fits of anger, jealousy or, in rare cases, sadness (often related to flashbacks of his childhood or his parents in the Euclidean world).

But what if it wasn’t the case? What if instead, Bill, as a human, would be unable to control his emotions? I had a theory that Bill Cipher has a higher pain tolerance while in his triangular, two-dimensional form partially from his powers but also because of his body isn’t entirely physical, and so it may lack several sensory receptors.

His liking for pain may be due to the fact he could barely feel anything (or plainly because he’s a masochist. Who knows.) It would qualify as a new and interesting experience for him, and he is a curious creature who also ‘efs around to find out’.

However, once he gains a physical human body, he will be faced with various problems humans have: muscle pain, bloating, cramps, eye sores, back sores, hair loss, acne, sickness, getting cuts and bruises easily…and never mind gravity, which would be a new inconvenience for a being who used to float almost 24/7.

So Bill wouldn’t be able to control his emotions because of how humans tend to feel a lot,he’d be forced to resort to masking and even then he wouldn’t be able to hold it for long. Plus, when he was a metaphysical shape, he had a bigger pain tolerance by contrast to when he gained a human body with hundreds of touch and pain receptors—Drinking with his eyes won’t be working no more, ouch!

He’d easily get a meltdown because of overstimulation (from the environment, from interaction with people he mostly hates or dislikes, and from being able to feel a lot more sensations than while in his bi-dimensional, triangular form) and have trouble regulating his body.

Additionally, Bill heavily relied on his magic powers to get stuff he needed or to protect himself, but now that a great chunk of his magic abilities would be gone , it would require more effort from him to do anything. And if he ends up activating the remaining power, the constant use of it would always backfire as his human shell isn’t made to contain the pressure of magic, resulting in cramps and stomach issues.

As a final note to this, in the show it had been shown that he is short tempered and easily leans into his emotions (especially anger) but can use his magic in order to ‘blow off some steam’. (Remember Time Baby and his whole squadron of men—except like for Blendin, getting erased?) However now, he cannot blow up a planet just because he’s having a tantrum, so he would most likely just stomp the ground while shrieking like a five year old.

Yes, when put under pressure, the evil Triangle becomes a CRYangle.

P-S. : He’s trying his best, plz be nice to him.

Edit: Woops it’s Blendin , not Baldwin, he’s not bald yet.

[dendroaspis-viridis]

On the "Emmrich is undead/a spirit" theory

I’ve been having a lot of Thoughts™ about a certain professor and the interesting "I would say, 'not that skeleton,' but we're not saying, 'no skeletons.'" quote from Matt Rhodes during the Q&A.

I personally think the skeleton in question is Emmrich, though I think he’s still flesh and blood most of the time. I'll elaborate under the cut.

I’d like to first establish that I don’t think he’s a spirit like Audric. In Down Among the Dead Men, we learn that most spirits work under the guidance of a Mourn Watcher, specifically “under a modicum of magical control”, and I can’t imagine the Mortalitasi would send a lone spirit out from the Necropolis without an accompanying Watcher regardless of the spirit’s ‘wholeness’. Especially considering the apprehension people outside Nevarra seem to show the Mortalitasi.

There was also that quote from the IGN interview with Corinne Busche that paraphrased “no bear sex”, and I feel like a full on Beverly Crusher-esque ghost fucking would at least be bear sex adjacent. Not to mention, hinting at one of your companions being undead seems like a massive spoiler to drop before the game's even out.

Back to how I think Emmrich is the skeleton (but also not): the Mortalitasi have a lot of connections to the Veil/Fade due to their constant interactions with souls and spirits (and my personal headcanon that the Grand Necropolis as a whole exists in an odd liminal space between the material world and the Fade, but that’s a whole other can of worms). The concept art we’ve been shown thus far features a Mortalitasi harvesting material from a mummified dragon surrounded by their skeletal assistants:

And if we zoom in on the (presumably) human figure, we can see a bit more detail:

They look distinctly flesh and blood when compared to their skeletal assistants, wearing a protective smock and gloves that go up to the bicep, complete with (what looks like) chain covering their torso and upper arms.

The headpiece they’re wearing had me puzzled for a few days, to be honest. But from what I can tell, I don’t believe there’s enough space in there for the skull we see to merely be a decorative mask (especially considering the deep craters of the eye sockets and nose), leading me to believe the headgear shows the Mortalitasi’s actual skulls while they’re wearing them. There’s also a tiny gap between the mandible of the skull and bevor of the helmet, implying the skull is a separate item.

As for why (I think) we see the Mortalitasi’s actual skull, I can only hypothesize the headgear assist them in accessing the Fade while conscious more easily? Whether that allows them greater control over their summons, lets them more easily communicate with Fade spirits, or allows them to peer through the Veil to see some of the more metaphysical things they’re harvesting, I have no idea. Though it’d also fit in perfectly with the melodramatic Memento Mori vibes I get from Nevarran culture as a whole.

There’s also a dagger (“Walking Death”) from DA:I with an interesting description: “The well-worn hilt bears the marks of the Nevarran Mortalitasi. The order makes an art of mummification, and their tools are imbued with magicks that blur the moment between life and death, though death is no less certain.”

Both the Chantry and Nevarra seem to agree that death occurs in the moment a soul/spirit leaves someone’s body and passes through the Veil, so the implication that most of the Mortalitasi’s tools can manipulate the Veil supports the idea that they’d have to create some kind of headgear that would allow them to see what exactly they’re manipulating?

So with all of that said, I’m assuming there’s going to be a scene with Emmrich at some point if you pursue a romance with him where he’s discussing the Mourn Watch/something death-related, where he dons the headpiece to further emphasize both his and Rook’s mortality, and there will be an option to kiss him. Or something like that. Idk.

Also I wanna specify that all this is based entirely on concept art screenshots and my inability to stop thinking about Dragon Age, but I’m gonna continue to assume Emmrich is entirely alive unless shown otherwise.

No judgement to people who're pumped for a potential skeleton romance, by the way! These are just my thoughts on who exactly that smoochable skeleton is, though I will admit I’m hoping for a flesh and blood Emmrich.

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

Hey! Love the blog and all the research and writing you do to make it!

I don't think my best boy, Donphan would make a good pet due to size, but what about his Baby Blue self, Phanpy?

[Thank you, I really appreciate it!]

Phanpies, unfortunately and perhaps surprisingly, would not make great pets for most owners. When it comes down to it, these pokémon are difficult to care for and exceptionally dangerous, no matter how good natured they seem.

On a more positive starting note, phanpies are a good size for a house pet at only a foot and eight inches tall. They’re rather heavy, which could make transporting them a headache for some owners, but it’s nowhere near as big a problem as it might be for some pokémon. That being said, this species’ housing needs could potentially cause some serious issues, despite their small size. Wild phanpies are avid diggers, which shouldn’t be surprising to anyone familiar with Ground-Type pokémon. This species tends to make their homes on riverbanks, where they dig themselves deep, vertical holes, about which they are rather possessive (Ruby). They spend a lot of time in the water as well (Crystal, Sapphire). This means that, in order to provide a phanpy with a simulation of their wild habitat, you would need to give them access to both a body of water to play in and an area where they can safely build a nest. This will, of course, be beyond the means of some owners. It really depends on the context of where and how you live. On the bright side, phanpies have some pretty impressive natural cooling methods, so they have no issue living in warmer climates: they have been observed using their large ears as fans to cool themselves off when needed (Emerald).

Now, phanpies are certainly playful and friendly, which is great for pets. The way that their playfulness and friendliness manifests, however, could be problematic for you. Like real-world elephants, phanpies enjoy giving themselves showers with water stored in their trunks (Crystal). In fact, they’re pretty insistent on it, hating being dirty or muddy after playtime (Scarlet). This could, obviously, cause you some problems if you don’t want to get water and mud all over your home. Any potential phanpy adopters had best be ready to get sprayed with water too, since wild phanpies are known to give each other showers out of the kindness of their hearts (and, perhaps, occasionally, with mischievous intent) (Sapphire). Unfortunately, their showering habits are the least of your worries! Phanpies are very affectionate and playful pokémon, and they swinging their trunk around wildly and bumping it into those they love to show it (Gold, Silver). This becomes a real problem when you consider this species’ startling strength! The pokédex makes the bold report that a loving bump from a phanpy is enough to “send you flying” or even shatter your bones (Silver, Violet)! Despite their small size, these pokémon can easily pick up and carry a full-grown human on their back, which may be occasionally fun but equally inconvenient at other times (Diamond/Pearl/Platinum). The risk of accidental injury with a phanpy is dangerously high, which makes them an ill-fit for a lot of potential owners.

Additionally, phanpies surprising strength makes moves like Rollout, Bulldoze, and Slam easily lethal, making playtime (or calming down an tantruming individual) incredibly risky. While they are good-natured, I can’t in good conscience recommend a phanpy as a pet to anyone, given the incredible threat to their own safety that they would be taking on. This is a species best observed from a healthy distance, unless you have specialized training for caring for them.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I’m personally a bit mixed on the senti-kid stuff.

I like it in concept because I’m a big fan of angst and existential horror, especially involving the “am I really a human/person? Am I a monster?” character arcs. Then you add in the horror of “they can have their free will taken away incredibly easily” (and be killed at someone’s whim) and that adds a whole other layer. I know that’s part of why a lot of people don’t like it, but I like the angst stuff a lot.

Having said that, I am still on the fence about it, because as much as I like the aforementioned reasons, I really hate how it was handled narratively. They do address the “can be killed easily” part a little, with Sentibug and Felix, but I think they don’t expand much on it, and don’t really stay consistant with it (like how they treat other sentis- LB controlling Sentibubbler, for example).

But the most glaring part of it for me is: having Adrien be a senti feels more like yet another reason for them to take him out of a significant action role in the story. They already did this with Chat Blanc: “oh he can’t know his dad is Hawkmoth bc he’ll destroy the world!” Then again with Ephemeral, though this time with the obvious use of the amok (Gabriel twisting the ring as he akumatized him). S5 shows him using it more and more, and has the finale with him still in control of the main villain, making it incredibly risky for Adrien to even have the Miraculous. Astruc and other fans can talk all they want about how feather kids are just magical IVF babies, and while I agree that they are human still, it blatantly ignores that having them be controlled by someone that dangerous makes them a huge risk, even if they get their amok (which is why I think there should have been some way to at least break them free of the control aspect, even if not their lives being tied to an object). (It’s also incredibly scary for the senti kid themselves.) Someone whose free will can be taken away so easily can’t be trusted with one of the most powerful objects in the world. It’s harsh, but powers like these, despite how they’re treated sometimes, can’t just be given out like candy to anyone, they need to be given selectively and carefully. Something like this can’t just be put in the hands of someone who isn’t even in full control of themselves. That’s so much responsibility to have. The narrative gave us two huge reasons that the narrative gave us for why Adrien can’t be a part of defeating his father and isn’t fit for the miraculous: 1) he’ll destroy the world, 2) he can be magically controlled and they can’t do anything about it. Why are they trying so hard to come up with reasons for why one of their main characters shouldn’t be in the role they gave him? The senti story would fit far better if Adrien wasn’t Chat Noir- I’ve read a lot of fics where things do work out, but they usually always take it in a direction that the show wouldn’t (in terms of story style and episode outline), so I don’t really think it can be successful in a canon style (though fic writers always surprise me, so I’m happy to be proven wrong).

That’s not even bringing up how Adrien’s arc was all about him obeying his father because he wants approval, not bc of magic, which… I guess can be explained away by Gabriel acting on the assumption that they made him perfect, therefore he doesn’t need to be controlled (like why Tomoe let Kagami keep her amok), but they don’t really address that on the Agreste side- how far is Gabriel willing to go? Why is he using it more now? Did Emilie use his amok? What for and why? Did the couple have a discussion beforehand? There’s just too much left open for the giant hole they created.

Sorry if this came off as ranty, but I wanted to share my thoughts as someone who does like the senti plotline, but still has frustrations with the show’s writing quality and inability to pull it off.

In another show, the sentikid stuff would have been amazing, so I don't fault anyone for liking the concept! It's a fantastic setup for a dark and twisted take on the genres that Miraculous is playing with. I could easily see that more serious show being considered a sort of sister show to Madoka Magica in terms of what it's trying to do.

The problem is that Miraculous isn't Madoka Magica. It's not trying to be a dark fantasy for teens and adults. It's trying to be a rom-com for little kids and the sentikid plotline has no place in a rom-com for little kids. It's way too serious for many of the reasons that you brought up.

For me, the biggest one is probably this point:

Someone whose free will can be taken away so easily can’t be trusted with one of the most powerful objects in the world.

Because sentimonsters do not have true free will, Adrien is a massive liability who should never be trusted with a miraculous. The risk is simply too great. He should also never be with Marinette or anyone else whose job is high stakes as he's a massive liability to them. A perfect sleeper agent who could be commanded to fool everyone until it's too late.

Great stuff if you like psychological horror, terrible stuff if you're here to see the power of love and friendship triumph over all!

There's also the issue of when the sentitwist was introduced. Madoka Magica goes from classic magical girl team show to psychological horror within the first few episodes, which is perfectly reasonable. Shows often take a few episodes to establish their tone. Miraculous doesn't introduce the sentikid stuff until season four, well over 24 hours into the show's runtime, way too late for a massive tone shift!

Add in the issues with how the sentitwist is used to downplay Gabriel's abuse and Adrien's reactions to it and, yeah, this was not a good move. I have no idea how the writing team got the higher ups to approve this twist. I'm still stunned that Disney okayed it.

I do think that Miraculous could have kept its lighthearted nature and done the sentitwist, but it would have required the sentikids to have a way to truly break free. After all, Pinocchio is a children's story and it has similar elements, but we didn't get Pinocchio. Instead we got Ephemeral, the episode where our hero stared his love in the eyes and doomed the world because he is totally incapable of being her hero when someone else has even one of his rings. That isn't a love story. It's a tragedy.

[sandbees]

Yuu But They're Twilight Sparkle

I don't know why I haven't written about this yet...Well, no time like the present!

So, in the prolouge, Yuu is in front of the mirror, stating their name and the Magic Mirror states that while they have magic, their magic/soul doesn’t fit any dorms at all.

STILL, their magic is very different from Twisted Wonderland, and that alone proves that they aren’t from this world.

I imagine Twilight! Yuu being something like fanon works, they look like a human, just with pony ears, a tail, wings, and a unicorn horn.

People mistake Yuu for a beast man sometimes, though they don’t mind. (It’s the perfect cover up)

Yuu is just starting at Crowley months after all the overblots and is like: …how bad is this school that seven overblots happen in the span of a year

Lilia and Yuu share tips on dying their hair. Look at Lilia and Twilight and TELL me that they don’t look similar.

Yuu endorses working together and friendship, while the culture of NRC doesn’t.

“Looks like we’ll have to teach friendship lessons! I guess the magic map transported me here to help them.”

I assume cutie marks on humans are like a tattoo somewhere on their body. Idk where there just is.

:000 beating Overblots with the power of friendship rainbows of death-

Honestly, even with the new magic system and other knowledge, Yuu would be able to ace anything and everything easily. I think they’d be excited to go to the library and just read all the books in there.

The library is like their second home when Ramshackle gets too much-

They’re super excited to just help around and make peace between people, and then adds a little bit of friendship to the mix.

Ace: So like, why are you so all about “the Magic of Friendship” or whatever?

Twilight! Yuu: It’s the source of the most powerful magic in my world. Besides, my friends are the most important people to me.

Deuce: That’s sweet. What do you guys do back in Equestria?

Twilight! Yuu: Eh, solve friendship problems among people, with the occasional supervillain like the embodiment of chaos.

Deuce: HUH?

TWILIGHT! YUU WOULD MANAGE TO GET GRIM TO SEND LETTERS VIA FLAMES. THEY CAN’T REPLICATE IT BECAUSE ONLY MONSTERS CAN USE IT (not saying their spike is a monster but,,,differences in world? Also canonically Spike is the only dragon that can do this)

Twilight! Yuu gets really obsessive with friendship that they end up forcing it down people’s throats.

It started off as concern because Yuu just watches fights happen over small things, and they get the full brunt of it too, especially when Grim causes trouble :/

We get a whole day of this and eventually Yuu learns to tone the teachings down after overblotting tbh

Personally, I think Twilight! Yuu would hate that most - if not everyone - around them acts selfishly.

I think Yuu would spend more time with the studious students like Riddle or Trey, just because they’re more of a serious kinds of gang.

:000 Yuu just casually lifting multiple things at once, much to the shock of everyone, especially with the accuracy they have. (I assume levitation magic is a bit difficult, much less with multiple things at once, as seen within the Prologue. Deuce might’ve been able to lift Ace up, but the accuracy was terrible)

I have more to say but I’ll save that for another post-

[lovebugism]

Congratulations, babydoll! Sending this in early! So super proud of you, and you’re one of my favorite authors/humans around here! ;) 😘🎂💝❤️

“Let me take care of you today. Don’t do anything in return, just let me.” - For virgin! Eddie (him taking care of the reader) ❤️

kristen. love of my life. absolute queen of smut. thank you so much for always being so kind! i wasn't sure if you wanted this to be smutty or not, so here's 2k words of eddie spaghetti taking care of a sick reader (also me soft launching the nickname Peach hahah) hope you enjoy!!

part of the tcar universe!

Eddie Munson was a worrier.

Apart from creating D&D campaigns and mastering Metallica guitar riffs, it’s what he did best.

Like, when Dustin skips out on Hellfire for the first time, he immediately thinks something’s wrong. He keeps the poor boy in the club room after the rest of the boys have left, badgering him about the reason why. “If something’s going on at home, you can tell me. You know that, right? Rule number one of Hellfire, you know? It’s a safe place.”

“I thought rule number one of Hellfire was never sit in your throne? Dustin asks with furrowed brows.

“Well, yeah, but… I’m just saying. You can tell me if something’s going on.”

“My mom’s just getting a new cat, Eds. We have to drive to Indianapolis to pick it up after school,” the boy explains, so sincere he’s practically cooing. “Everything’s okay, alright. I promise.”

“Alright. Drop the tone,” Eddie squints at him.

Dustin grins. “I’m happy you care so much, though. It’s really sweet, actually.”

“If you wanna keep the teeth you have left, I suggest you shut up, Henderson.”

Dustin makes fun of him about that to this day. 

Still, it hasn’t lessened his ability to stress out over nothing.

Gareth is five minutes late to band practice at The Hideout, and Eddie’s certain his beat-up truck is sitting somewhere in a ditch. Mike comes to school with a scrape on his cheek, and Eddie immediately thinks Jason and his basketball goons are giving him a hard time again.

It’s a deep-rooted urge to protect the people he cares about — to worry incessantly about their well-being and fight like hell if something’s wrong. And these are just the boys he tolerates, at best.

So when Eddie’s worried about you? All hell threatens to break loose.

Two days pass, and he hasn’t heard a single thing from you.

And it’s not the total end of the world or anything. You get busy sometimes, and that’s fine. 

Is a part of him distantly worried that you’re lying dead in your apartment? Sure. But still. The sliver of logical thinking he possesses knows that you’re fine. Eddie’s mostly able to simmer in his worry until the third day comes and goes with no word from you.

He’s popped into a full-on boil by then.

“Have you seen my keys?” the boy asks his uncle while he rifles between the couch cushions, searching for the metal things he can’t even seem to keep up with.

“You’re what?” Wayne answers, tucked too comfortably in his recliner for a time like this. He’s more focused on his Cheers re-run than his nephew’s anxious mumbling.

“My keys. They’re missing.”

“You didn’t leave ‘em in your van, did you?”

“No, I didn’t leave them in my van,” Eddie snaps. It’s more harshly than he intended but he doesn’t think to apologize as he looks under the magazines on the coffee table.

Wayne isn’t deterred by his tone. He pops another chip into his mouth and talks through the mouthful. “Did ya look in your room?”

“Yes. That’s the first place I check. They’re not there.”

“Kitchen counter?”

“I looked there, too.”

“Well, they gotta be somewhere, Eds,” Wayne chuckles.

“It’s not funny,” Eddie scolds in a fit of boyish rage. He ceases his search for a moment to be angry — his tight chest thankful for the weight is let off. “My girlfriend could be dead—”

“Your girlfriend’s fine,” the older man assures, still laughing a little to himself. Eddie’s dramatics and misplaced worries are familiar to him now. He looks over his shoulder at his nephew, grey brows raised. “Maybe she just wanted some space. Ever think of that?”

Eddie shakes his stubborn head. “You don’t know her, alright? That’s not— That’s not how she operates.

“Operates?” Wayne scoffs in a laugh. “She a robot or something.”

“…You’re are no help, you know that?”

Eddie backtracks to his room. He finds his keys beneath a pile of dirty clothes in the very corner of his room. He doesn’t care to know how they got there. He’s just grateful he found them at all.

He’s forced to walk by Wayne with them in hand to leave the trailer. The man’s lilted “I told ya so” doesn’t go unheard.

His van gets him to the other side of town in ten minutes flat — half the time it usually takes, but still not quick enough. He ascends the concrete stairs two a time before b-lining to your apartment. He grips the knob, expecting it to be locked, but it gives under the weight of his hand.

“Oh my god, if she’s not already dead, I’m gonna kill her,” Eddie mumbles rather morbidly to himself as he walks into your unlocked apartment.

He’s surprised to find you on the couch — your back facing him, all wrapped up in blankets, with a thousand tissues on the coffee table.

“Hopper, I told you a thousand times, I’m fine—” Your voice is scratchy and slurred, the makings of a girl who’s exhausted and obviously sick.

You turn slowly to look over your shoulder, careful not to jostle your migraine. Your glassy, red-rimmed eyes go wide when you find that Eddie’s the one standing in your driveway instead of Lurch.

“Coulda fooled me,” the boy quips with a sympathetic smile at your pallid appearance — sallow face, sunken eyes, messy hair. 

He doesn’t know you’ve got a raging monster of a headache, but he shuts the door closed softly anyway.

“Eddie?” you call his name. It’s mixed with a groan as you flip onto your back. The change in position makes your head pound all over again. You squint at Eddie through the knife in your skull. “What are you doing here?”

“I was worried about you,” he tells you just before laying his keys on the table and sitting on the wooden edge of it in front of you. He puts the back of his hand to your warmed cheek. It nearly burns him.

“And everyone said I was stupid for being so worried. Now I know I had every right to be.”

“In their faces huh?” you quip dryly, then laugh until it turns into a coughing fit.

You hack into your elbow. Eddie winces and reaches for the half-gone glass of water at his side. He hands it to you and you take the thing in your trembling grasp, sipping from it gratefully.

“How long have you felt like this?” Eddie agonizes, full of woe.

“I don’t know… Couple days, maybe,” your breaths are uneven and unusually deep, as though each one is hard for you to take. Your face is scrunched up like they pain you.

“Why didn’t you call? You know I would’ve come over.”

“I thought I was feeling better,” you rasp. “And I came in here, but then I felt worse.”

“You should’ve told me before.”

“I didn’t want you to get sick…”

“I’ve been sick for four days, Peach,” Eddie laughs when you go all sheepish. “I would’ve rather been here getting sick with you than all the way across town worrying if you were dead or not.”

Your brows pinch together. “What?”

“Nothing,” he answers quickly.

You look like you want to argue, but it turns into another coughing fit. Eddie grimaces as you take another hearty sip. It hardly helps.

“What can I do?” he grieves, feeling totally helpless.

“Nothing,” you croak as your head lolls onto the throw pillow behind your head. Your heavy eyes flutter shut. Eddie swears he can hear your chest rattling.

“I’m gonna get you some more water, okay? And maybe a cold rag for you head.” He rises from the table with the glass in hand. “I make you some soup, too, if you have some. I make a mean canned chicken noodle, if I do say so myself—”

“No, don’t go,” you rasp and reach for his head. You rise on your elbow so suddenly that it makes the room spin around you. Your eyes squeeze shut again and you groan.

“See?” Eddie coos with a soft smile. “This is what not accepting my help gets you.”

“Just go home, Eds,” you plead after the room’s stopped spinning. “I’m okay. I don’t wanna get you sick, too.”

“I’m taking care of you today, babe. Whether you like it or not.”

Eddie ushers you to lay back down again. You do so without much protest, but with a pretty little pout on your face. He pulls the quilt back over you and smooths the frown between your brows with his thumb.

“You can try to fight me on this, but I’m pret-ty sure I’d win, so…”

“But it makes me feel bad,” you whine. “I can’t do anything for you—”

“You do stuff for me all the time, alright? Now, it’s my turn. I don’t need you to do anything for me in return, anyway, so… You might as well just let me.”

Eddie gives you little time to argue — not that your body would’ve let you, anyway. He returns with a glass of water, a wet rag, and a kiss on your forehead. He winces playfully after his lips touch your skin and lays the cool cloth over you.

“Jeez, babe. If you get any hotter, you’re gonna burn me,” he jokes, just to make you smile.

He cleans up the living room and wraps you up in more blankets when you start to get the cold sweats. He tucks you in them like a burrito, propping you against the arm of the couch so you can sit up more comfortably.

He’s off to the kitchen a second later. You can hear him rifling through your cabinets for something to ease your prickly throat. The only thing soup-adjacent he finds is a box of macaroni and cheese.

“This’ll have to do…” he murmurs to himself and to his co-chef, Bowie the Calico, who keeps him company while he boils the water and stirs in the powdered cheese. He kisses the wooden spoon to make sure it’s cooled down enough before fixing two bowls.

He carries them bowl, a blue and a green one, into the living room.

“It’s certainly no chicken noodle soup, but it’s still good,” Eddie promises as he sits down the dishes in front of you. He settles neatly on the couch beside you right after. His raised brows disappear behind his curly bangs. “It’s a good thing I make the best boxed mac and cheese this side of Hawkins has ever seen, huh?”

“Yeah,” you hum, smiling despite your exhaustion and the distant throbbing in your head. “I’m really lucky, Eddie Spaghetti.”

Eddie purses his smile to the side and turns his glowing cheeks to the coffee table.

He picks up your bowl and stirs it to let the steam out. His gaze is far shier than it was before when he looks at you again. “How you feeling now, Peach?”

“Like someone shoved a box of cotton up my nose and through my skull.”

“So… better?” he teases.

You know he’s joking, but you nod anyway. “A little. Probably ‘cause you’re here.”

He laughs when weakly jab his thigh with your sock-clad foot.

“And to think, you were gonna kick me out.”

“I’m still scared you’re gonna get sick— what are you doing?” Your head juts back when he lifts the fork to your mouth, motioning for you to eat the pile of noodles sitting on top.

“Feeding you,” he shrugs. “What does it look like.”

“I can feed myself—”

“Ah, ah, ah,” the boy scolds when you reach to take the fork from him. He jerks his hand away from you. His face scrunches in a feigned anger. “I’m taking care of you today, remember? You can have the next turn.”

“Eddie—”

“Don’t Eddie me, alright? Just eat it. The more you argue, the longer this is gonna take.”

You take one bit, just to humor him.

He doesn’t let up until you’ve eaten it all, makes you down the rest of your water, too.

His food is cold now, but you’re better.

The life has returned to your eyes. They twinkle when they look at him, no longer as sunken in as they had been before. A part of him wonders if he’s the reason why. He ultimately decides to blame it on his sort of homemade mac and cheese, lest his heart explode from how much he adores you.

“Feel better?” he asks as he sits your bowl back down on the table.

You nod. For the first time in three days, it doesn’t make your head spin.

“Yeah. Thanks for taking care of me, Eddie Spaghetti.”

“No, thank you, for only putting up a little bit of a fight when I tried, sweetheart.”

He leans forward, as though to kiss you.

You pull back from him. “No, don’t.”

“Why?” he pouts.

“Because you’ll get sick.”

The boy scoffs. “I don’t care about that.”

“Well, I care about that.”

“Babe. I’m made of metal. I don’t get sick.”

You shake your head at the relentless boy. “As long as you’re aware of the consequences,” you lilt in a rasp.

“I’d kiss you now even if it meant I died tomorrow, Peach.”

“That’s really morbid—” you try to joke, but his mouth is already on yours.

He’s got one foot on the ground and a knee digging into the couch. One hand props himself on the cushion at your side while the with clutches the back one. Eddie leans over your bent knees and presses a sweet peck upon your chapped lips.

“Mm,” he hums against you. His pinks lips curl into a grin when he pulls away. His chocolate eyes sparkle at you. “Tastes like mac and cheese and winter time.”

“Wintertime?” you giggle.

“Yeah,” he shrugs.

He doesn’t tell you that he means it more in the flu season way rather than the sparkling snow one. It’s more poetic that way, he figures.

“I’ll get you more water,” he grunts as he rises from the couch, empty bowl and glass in hand.

“Hey, Eds?” you call before he can get too far.

He stops in the door way. “Yeah?”

Your tired head tilts to your shoulder. “I love you.”

“I know,” Eddie grins.

You squint at him before he ducks back into the kitchen.

“I know you did not just Han Solo me—”

[what-gs-watching]

“Well…maybe I’ll save you.”

I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING.

Sorry.

I’m not crying, you’re crying.

That’s not much better, is it.

I just finished The Giggle and I’m sobbing over the fact that 10 finally gets everything he was chasing and I am clearly unwell. I knew this episode was going to break me but I didn’t realize how far they were going to push us over the cliff. Like. You don’t get this in Doctor Who, not ever. That’s almost the appeal of it, sometimes. 

But Russell T Davies just ripped out everyone’s heart in the best possible way.  I really can’t.

Blorp. Okay. 

The thing is….the thing is - I think everybody needed that. How satisfying must this be for David Tennant? And Catherine Tate? How are they not fit to bursting right now? That was so beautiful, gang. And they must be so proud.

But I’m gonna focus. Also, didn’t I say catharsis? Jesus christ, you can’t get more than that. I’m pretty sure they hit the fucking limit on catharsis. Wow. I’m a mess.

Focusing, though: wherein the Doctor and Donna have to say humanity from their own terrible base instincts because the Toymaker loves a good game. 

So we open on Soho in 1925 (which, is anyone else wondering where A.Z. Fell & Co is in relationship to the street they’re showing? No? Just me? Okay cool) and we’re taken into a creepy toy shop where we meet Neil Patrick Harris doing a super weird German accent and being a general creep. He sells a dummy to a man who says he needs it for his boss, who is around the corner working on inventing the concept of television broadcasting for the very first time.  

They pop the head off the dummy and leave it in a setup surrounded by a ton of lightbulbs and they go into another room to test it all out - and it works. But the heat from the bulbs is hot, too hot, which is why they needed an object, not an actual person. But of course, the creepy toyseller was obviously up to no good, and as the broadcast continues, the dummy head melts and lets out a terrible little giggle. Clearly, we’re in trouble.

Back in the present, the Doctor and Donna are in the streets of London trying to figure out what’s happening. Some guy argues with 14 who tries to stop him from attacking a car, saying that his taxes pay for the street but he doesn’t drive and he has the right to do whatever he wants with the roadway, thank you. Perfectly sound logic, and the guy is belligerent, saying two days ago everyone in the world decided they were right and wouldn’t listen to reason.  So that’s exciting.

Soon enough, UNIT finds them and they’re told to get Wilf somewhere safe while the Doctor and Donna follow them to headquarters. Where we finally get our eyes on Kate Lethbridge-Stewart who I absolutely love, she’s the “bitches get shit done” Tina Fey gif come to LIFE. Bitch will always be the new black, and that’s Kate, and exactly how she runs UNIT, loading it full of equally brilliant women, including Shirley who we’d met when dealing with The Meep, and Melanie, who was a companion to the 6th Doctor,

Who run the world? GIRLS.

Anyway, we get into explanation mode - two days ago there was a spike in aggression worldwide, the same spike across the board. It’s affecting everyone, even the people in government, but UNIT has a fun device that helps keep everyone wearing one sane. And Kate decides she’s going to demonstrate how fucked up the situation is - she asks them to take her device offline, so they do.

And she proceeds to spew a bunch of terrible things at the Doctor - how he’s an alien with two hearts that have infiltrated them and can’t be trusted, and then she takes shots at poor Shirley who’s in a goddamn wheelchair and it’s really gross to watch, it’s one of the worst parts of humanity and she tries to avoid having her device turned back on, but they finally subdue her. It’s some serious shit, gang.

They say that the spikes aren’t coming from outside, they’re in everyone’s head, except for Donna, and Melanie, who have spent significant time in the TARDIS. And for extra fun, two days ago a satellite went up that finally connected the entirety of the earth to the internet, and now, everyone has access to a screen. 

And of course, Donna is working something out about the spike they’ve found, saying that she spent six months teaching Rose how to play the recorder; she thinks it’s a tune. Melanie sings it out and it strikes with everyone, like they’ve known it for years. And then Shirley finds it, it’s not a tune, it’s the laugh from the dummy. The Doctor figures out that the image has been burnt into television itself, into all the screens everyone is attached to every minute of everyday.

As they’re getting the date of the exact transmission, 14 gives Kate permission to shoot the satellite down, even though it’ll start an international incident. He’s the president of the world, and I love that. Her relief is palpable.

He also has a little moment with Melanie, which is so sweet. I love that whenever he rolls up to someone he hasn’t seen in decades, he always mutters the kindest little “hello.” Just for them. His attention completely focused. It must feel like a sun shining directly on you. I literally have a collection of David Tennant saying “hello” in my mind, ugh it’s so something. 

During all of this, Kate is telling Donna she did well working out the spikes, and she offers her a job at UNIT once everything has settled. Pure Donna, she asks how much the salary is, and then counters with DOUBLE the amount and 5 weeks paid vacation which is immediately accepted. BAMF, BAMF, BAMF. Get what’s yours, baby girl.

So much going on. Okay, so they go back to 1925, and 14 is all about what they need to do but Donna wants to hear about Mel because he’s never once mentioned her. He never does, he never talks about them. Rose a bit, yes, but usually no. Not ever. And he reminds her he’s old as hell and he can’t just chat about everyone, but it’s more than that. She tells him he never stops moving, she says “You are staggering along. Maybe that's why your old face came back. You're wearing yourself out” and that’s the crux of the matter, friends. 14 is wonderful, we’re all in love with him, but he’s definitely bleeding out everything. All over the place. And it’s so sad to see him so run down. But, classic 10, he ignores her.

They find the toyshop of course, and the Doctor recognizes the Toymaker. Who immediately starts a game of catch with the Doctor, because he’s a fucking weirdo like that, and 14 looks incredibly determined and also freaked out but Donna puts a stop to it, and the Toymaker disappears. 

They follow him deeper into the shop and surprise! They find themselves in a never ending hallway full of doors, and each door just leads to another hallway. Which should be impossible, but we’re told that the Toymaker is only governed by the rules of play, so he can basically do whatever the eff he wants.

Donna gets the story out of him as they wander - the Doctor had once gone into another realm, where he played a game against the Toymaker and apparently won, but he said he made a terrible mistake. Poor kiddo is really raw all of a sudden, he says “I'm always so certain. I'm all sonic and TARDIS and Time Lord. Take that away... Take away the toys... what am I? What am I now?” and then he tells Donna, “I don’t know…if I can save your life this time.”

Scrawny little 14 all exposed and helpless and I told you, he’s bleeding all over the place, and she just tells him, “Well…maybe I’ll save you.”

THEY’RE BEST FRIENDS, and she’s definitely gonna save him, just not in the way he thinks. And it’s so good.

Speeding ahead, they keep wandering through the halls and then they get separated of course and Donna gets attacked by the dummy that was supposed to be the original dummy’s wife and his creepy babies but she beats them obviously, and the Doctor gets taunted by the Toymaker but they find each other eventually.

And then they’re pulled into a room with a little stage where the Toymaker puts on a puppet show about exactly what has happened to the Doctor’s companions since he traveled with Donna. And it’s so sad to listen to him try to justify everyone’s fate - Amy died of old age, but in a time and place she was never meant to. Clara was killed by a bird but technically saved in her last moments of life. Bill was turned into a cyberman, but her consciousness lived on. No happy endings, for the Doctor and his friends, not ever. 

 To stop the show, the Doctor challenges the Toymaker to a game. And Donna’s afraid the Toymaker will cheat, but it seems the rules of the game bind his entire existence: the Doctor will either win or lose. So they cut a deck, and the highest card wins. And it’s the Toymaker, with a king.

But the Doctor finds a loophole - he won the first game, the Toymaker one the second game, and that prompts another, the best of three. Which the Toymaker accepts, but he wants that game to be played back in the present. 

Meanwhile at UNIT headquarters they’re shooting down the new satellite, and the Doctor and Donna appear to try and figure out a way to force the Toymaker out of the universe they way he’d come, but it’s too late. 14 is explaining something and then “Spice Up Your Life” is playing, and I’m sorry but L O L at the entire dance scene with NPH that unfolds. It’s hilarious, and creepy, and it definitely goes on too long, but I’ll allow a little pageantry. He turns UNIT’s bullets into flower petals and it’s a little terrifying, how much power he possesses and that’s the point. And then as soon as he’s arrived, he disappears again. 

Just kidding though, the Toymaker is out on the platform where the beam they used to take down the satellite is still set up and ready to roll, and he’s got control of it. So everyone of course rushes out to try and stop him. 

The Doctor tries to talk him down, of course. He asks why he’s choosing to be so horrible when he can do so many good things, and the Toymaker reminds him he’s just a vastness that good and bad don’t apply to, only winning and losing. The Doctor tells him he’s a vastness that contains so much more, and then he suggests they take the game away from earth, that they can play across the cosmos. 

He says “we can be…celestial” - and I’m dying inside. Is anyone else wondering what Aziraphale’s reaction to that sentence would have been? So many little bits of Good Omens, it’s slightly painful. 

Also, I appreciate that the Doctor is always trying to turn enemies into his playmates. 10 did it with the Master, too. It makes sense, he’s always off with humans but why wouldn’t entities that are more in line with what he is, want to travel with him? They always say no. Because y’all are too obsessed with your own drama to recognize what a fucking opportunity that is. Idiots.

So yeah, that doesn’t work and the Toymaker declares that since he played the first two games with different doctors, he wants to play the final game with the next Doctor. AND HE SHOOTS 14 WITH THE GIANT FUCKING LASER. 

It’s agonizing. It’s terrible. And Donna and Mel rush to his side as he starts to regenerate, because they don’t want him to be alone. They tell him he’s not dying, and they don’t care who he is, because every version of him is fantastic. And that’s what he needed to hear the first time. Every time, really.

And then he says “It's time. Here we go again. Allons-y!” (squee!) but…nothing happens. So he asks them to pull, yank on his arms, and they’re like ‘um’ but they do and THEN:

Out pops 15. And I’m losing my fucking mind. 

Here’s the thing, gang. There is one sure fire way to make the new Doctor capture everyone’s heart, and that is apparently to let him interact with 14. Because everything that happens after this is incredible.

15 says “You're me. No, I'm me. I think I'm really, really me. Oh-ho-ho, I am completely me!” and he tells 14 to push, and they’re both like ‘will this work?’ and they’re laughing and they push against each other and they’re two separate entities and it’s amazing. 

14 obviously was all done up in his traditional suit (minus the coat) so now suddenly 15 is wearing the dress shirt, and the tie, and their charming little tightie whities, and the CONVERSES! And 14’s still got the pants, the undershirt, the vest, completely barefoot. I’m delighted and crying my eyes out. 

So apparently they’ve bi-generated, which is supposed to be a myth and 15 asks Mel what she thinks and she says “I think you’re beautiful” and 14 pipes up, “still beautiful?!” and it’s all so good but the Toymaker is exasperated and then both Doctor’s say ���I challenge you to a game” but he doesn’t like that. He’d caused the bi-generation and he doesn’t want to play both of them but he can’t say no.

What follows is the highest stakes game of catch that has literally ever existed. 14 and 15 are ducking and bobbing and weaving and catching and it’s ridiculous but also so filled with tension; whoever drops the ball, loses. David Tennant is a 50-something year old spindly noodle and oh my god he’s just crushing the entire thing, I could watch this all day. 

But someone has to lose, and thank god, eventually it’s the Toymaker. They decide their prize is going to be banishing him from existence forever. He gets folded up into a little square of douchebag, shoved in a box, and left to rot in the deepest recesses of UNIT’s storage. 

And it’s wonderful! But 14 can’t help but think of all of the people that died. And here is where 15 worms into everyone’s heart for the rest of eternity: he reminds 14 that he can’t save everyone, and then he grabs him into a hug and he says “Come here. I've got you. Yeah? It's OK. I'm here” and he kisses 14’s forehead. 

It’s what the Doctor has always needed, but never got. A reminder from himself that what he does matters, that he’s good and he tries and it’s okay when things don’t go perfectly, but he does save people. He deserves acceptance from himself, and if he can’t give it in his own mind, he can get it from someone else who is literally him. It’s fucking beautiful.

They head back to the TARDIS and 14 shows 15 all the bells and whistles and 14 wonders how it’s going to work, the two of them? 15 makes him stop his anxious rambling, tells him “you're thin as a pin, love. You're running on fumes.” He keeps talking, about all of the things they’ve seen and done. The Pandorica, The Time War, losing River and Rose. The fact that Sarah Jane has died. 14 says, “I loved her” and 15 says “I loved her.” 

15 reminds him that they haven’t stopped, not for a second. But he’s fine, because 14 had fixed himself. He says “We’re doing rehab out of order.” And it’s true; 15 has taken in everything that Donna has been trying to get 14 to understand, he has the sweetness and the willingness to express his feelings that 14 finally learned, and now he’s putting his foot down, to himself. His old self. He’s telling 14 that he has to stop. 

But 14 doesn’t know how, and Donna tells him that he just has to exist, every single day, in and out. Over and over. And that’s the adventure. She says “I've worked out what happened. You changed your face... and then you found me. Do you know why?”

“To come home.”

If you didn’t lose it at that, you might need to examine your inner workings. It’s a punch to the gut. And it’s absolutely true. It’s the one thing the Doctor has never had, but now he can. And the way 14 asks “Do you mean…he flies off?” is so sad and small, and deflating, like he can’t imagine being pried away and made to stop and just be and exist. It’s terrifying for him. And he knows he can’t leave the TARDIS, it would hurt.

15 has an idea though, he thinks they might have a little bit of time, still being governed by a state of play, so he produces a sledge hammer and he hops out of the TARDIS, followed by 14 and Donna. 

He wields the hammer and he says “You get a prize, honey. And here is mine!” and he SWINGS against the TARDIS, and out pops another perfect little blue police box (and he runs a hand down the first one, saying “I’m sorry!”). Two TARDIS’s, two doctors. 

(I’m also swooning over 15’s use of endearments - love, honey - he’s gonna kill me.)

14 goes in to inspect the new TARDIS, he’s reverent almost, and it’s much the same, but it’s got a jukebox. He wanders back to his own TARDIS and 15 hops into the new one and powers her up and he’s definitely about to leave without a goodbye but 14 bounds back in with Donna to get what they’re owed. Which is hugs and a little sass. 15 says “off you pop, old man” and I love that, but they remind him he’s the older of the two now, so he says “Okay, kid. I love you. Get out!”

15 is full of the love the Doctor never gets to give freely, but he’s ready now, and I’m so excited to watch that unfold. It’s so perfect and beautiful that 14 is the one who gets to feel it first. Baby boy needs so much more, and he’s gonna get it.

And so, off they both go. 15 to his endless adventures, 14 to something even more scary.

The last scene is a dinner at Donna’s, wherein 14 is telling a ridiculous story about using his eyebrows to communicate (Crowley, Crowley, Crowley…) and it’s just banter and it’s so good. We find out that he’s taking Mel on little adventures in the TARDIS, even Rose a time or two. He says “Just can’t turn down my favorite niece” and oh, it’s so lovely. He says “That’s what you are. With my best friend, my brother-in-law, the evil stepmother, and mad auntie Mel.” 

The desperate wanderer, a man who has run for thousands upon thousands upon thousands of years in a multitude of faces, finally has a family. 

Donna tells him he doesn’t have to stay forever, and then she asks him if he misses it out there. And his face, oh y’all his face as he says “The funny thing is, I fought all those battles for all those years... and now I know what for. This. I've never been so happy in my life”, it’s EVERYTHING.

Never, not once, has the Doctor gotten this. Usually, things work out just enough that it barely soothes the pain of what was lost. Never has he won so fully, so completely. Donna restored, and the chance to finally relish what he’s been protecting for so long. And no one deserved it more than 10 and 14.

The Doctor doesn’t have to be all hard edges and fire and war and unrelenting motion. He can be soft and vulnerable and he can accept help and he can love. 

And I didn’t even realize I wanted to see that. Doctor Who is like letting yourself believe in a higher power, a little bit. Believing in a species that maybe isn’t beholden to all of the disgusting emotions we have to deal with, he’s strong when we can’t be. He’s strong all the time. But I don’t think I’ve ever connected as much to an arch as I did to this one. We can’t be strong all the time. No one can. 

Watching the Doctor stop, and be taken care of for once, I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. Catharsis, on all sides. For everyone. I needed all of that way more than I’m ever willing to admit.

No matter what’s going on in the real world, at least now, somewhere out there 14 is hanging out at Donna’s house, telling silly stories and helping cook dinner and teaching Rose a bunch of science she should never get her hands on, and that’s satisfying in a way I can’t explain.

Basically, I’m so thankful for Doctor Who. And I can’t wait to see what happens next…

[sweethoneyrose83]

Dialogue prompts inspired by Vampire: The Masquerade

1. Political Intrigue

"Do you truly believe the Prince holds power? We are puppets, each of us, tangled in strings far older than any of us care to admit."

"The Toreador smile as they paint the city in blood. Art, they call it. Madness is more fitting."

2. Supernatural Tension

"I can feel the pulse of the city… It's more alive than you or me."

"You think the shadows hide the truth? Trust me, it’s the light that blinds you."

3. Clan Rivalry

"A Ventrue thinks their gold can buy anything, but what happens when they realize their currency holds no value in the eyes of death?"

"The Tremere meddle with powers they barely comprehend. One day, their hubris will tear this world apart."

4. Personal Conflict

"How long has it been since you felt the warmth of a sunrise, or heard your own heartbeat? Or did you lose those memories when you sold your soul?"

"You don’t even remember what it feels like to be human anymore, do you?"

5. The Beast Within

"Every night, I fight it, and every night, it grows louder. One day, the Beast will win."

"The hunger is never sated. It’s a gnawing void, and I’m not sure how much longer I can pretend I control it."

6. Deception and Manipulation

"The truth is a lie we tell ourselves to sleep easier. Reality? That’s much harder to swallow."

"Trust me? In this city, trust is a knife waiting for your back."

7. Secrets and Knowledge

"There are things buried deep in this city’s history that not even the elders whisper about."

"Do you ever wonder why the Nosferatu stay underground? It's because they've seen what crawls beneath the surface."

8. Love and Tragedy

"I remember the night you turned. You were so full of hope. What happened to that hope?"

"Immortality has a way of warping love. What was once eternal passion is now an unending curse."

9. The Camarilla vs. The Anarchs

"The Camarilla chains you with promises of order, but at what cost? Freedom, or should I say, the illusion of it, is priceless."

"Anarchy isn't chaos; it's survival. And when the night comes, survival is all that matters."

10. A Sire's Wisdom (or Warning)

"This life, fledgling, is not what you think it is. Immortality is a lie we tell ourselves while we rot from the inside."

"One piece of advice before you go: Never trust an elder. They've survived centuries for a reason, and it's not because they play nice."

Dialogue Prompts

The Toreador's Temptation:

"You see art where others see ruin. What does that say about your soul, I wonder?"

The Ventrue's Ambition:

"Power is like blood. Once tasted, you'll crave it until the thirst consumes you."

The Nosferatu's Warning:

"The shadows know secrets even the dead have forgotten. Tread lightly, or they may speak to you."

The Tremere's Ritual:

"You think magic is about spells and words? No, it's about sacrifice—and you have much to offer."

The Brujah's Rage:

"I’ve fought for centuries, bled for causes that never mattered. What makes you think your revolution is any different?"

The Malkavian's Madness:

"Time is a spiral, and we're all just walking circles. How many times will you die tonight?"

The Gangrel's Wilderness:

"Cities are cages. We’re animals pretending to be civilized. I prefer the honesty of the hunt."

The Lasombra's Darkness:

"Light casts shadows, but shadows devour light. Do you truly know which side you're on?"

The Giovanni's Deal:

"Death is just another transaction. The trick is making sure you're on the right side of the bargain."

The Setite's Seduction:

"Your faith in gods and kings is misplaced. Let me show you a different kind of devotion."

Political Intrigue

The Prince's Gambit:

"Every Kindred has their price. Tell me, what’s yours?"

The Primogen's Powerplay:

"Your loyalty is an investment. Be sure you place it wisely, or someone will collect on it."

The Harpy's Gossip:

"Whispers build empires and topple kingdoms. Care to know what they’re saying about you?"

The Anarch's Challenge:

"Freedom isn't free. Are you willing to bleed for it, or are you just another puppet?"

Personal Reflection

The Kindred's Lament:

"Immortality isn't a gift; it's a curse wrapped in pretty lies. Do you regret it yet?"

The Beast's Hunger:

"You think you control the Beast, but it’s already taken more than you realize. What will it demand next?"

The Clanless' Struggle:

"Out here, you're nothing. No clan, no title, just prey waiting for the fangs. How do you survive?"

The Lover's Farewell:

"We could’ve had eternity, but even forever wasn't enough for us, was it?"

The New Embrace:

"You were mortal once. Does that memory still haunt you, or have you finally let it rot?"

The Sire's Lesson:

"I gave you immortality, but what you do with it? That is where the real test begins."

[cosmicjoke]

For Them

790 words

They don’t know he’s there.  Those three brats.

They’re talking about the past.  Wishing they could go back. 

The boy, Armin, he’s talking about the future, though.  About the ocean.  Talking about his belief in there still being a world worth discovering, out there…

Levi shifts, looking past the edge of the wall, glimpsing the boy’s eyes.

They’re young and innocent and full of hope, and Levi looks away, something pained shifting inside his heart.

He thinks of Erwin.

Erwin and the cold, dead look in his eyes as he told Levi it was more important to him, to see what was in Eren’s basement than humanity achieving victory.

He thinks of the cold dread which had crept into his own brain, then, as the words dropped from their Commanders mouth.

There’d been no hope in Erwin’s eyes.  There’d been no innocence.  Only exhaustion and resignation, like he was giving himself up to something he knew wasn’t worthy of him.  Wasn’t worthy of the lives given at his command.

Something ugly and crushing inside him, which Levi had never seen before.

Something which crept now into Levi’s head.  An awful doubt.

He’d chosen to follow Erwin because he’d been certain of his goodness.  Even in the worst of it…

He’d never doubted Erwin’s intentions.

He does now, and he doesn’t know what to do with that.

No regrets, he thinks, and frowns, staring down at the empty tankard in his hand.

He’s not drunk.  He wishes almost that he was.  But that would do no good.  He couldn’t risk being off tomorrow. 

He wouldn’t put lives at risk just to drown the fire in his thoughts.

He listens to the kids talk a while longer, their happy and hopeful voices, and after a time, he can’t bear it.

Listening to them makes him think of Furlan and Isabel.  Makes him remember late nights with them, sat talking of their dreams.

He pushes himself to his feet, silent and unknown, and leaves this place.

He walks the streets.

It’s late, now.  Past midnight.

They leave at dawn.

He should get some sleep, but he knows it’s hopeless. 

People will die tomorrow, he knows, no matter how hard he tries to prevent it. 

They’ll die on Erwin’s command.

They’ll die on the command of someone who maybe… maybe isn’t worthy of their lives.

Levi stops.  He slouches against the darkened façade of a closed shop, and stares at the night sky.

Stares at the stars, out there.  So many pinpricks of light.  So distant.  He always thought it looked like someone must have poked holes in the blanket of the sky, and whatever there was behind it, whatever light, it came bleeding through.

It makes him think of a memory, of when he was a boy. 

There’d been a curtain over the window of his and his mother’s room.  She’d kept a candle in it.  He remembers, whenever they’d return there, there would be little pricks of light, showing through the course material.  Glowing orange and bright.

He remembers a sense of warmth, and not much else.

Hange said the stars were balls of gas, burning with incredible amounts of energy.  Said the sun was one of them.  It was just much closer, and so that’s why it appeared so big. 

Levi doesn’t really understand, but Hange knew about these things more than he ever could.

“Damn it, Erwin,” he mutters, and thinks…

… Erwin wasn’t a bad man.

He doesn’t believe he is.

… Maybe just a beaten man.  A man weary from life. 

But Levi doesn’t… know anymore, if Erwin is fit to be their Commander. 

Only it would do no good, to doubt him now.  Would do no good, to turn away from him.

They were going in the morning to retake Maria, and Erwin was their leader.

It was Erwin who had gotten them this far.

It would have to be Erwin to carry them through.

And Levi would have to trust in him to do it.

Would have to trust in him, to not betray the lives of those who’d died for humanity. 

He reaches up, rubbing the burning pain from his eyes, and pushes off the wall, continuing down the empty streets.

He would trust Erwin, still.

For himself, all he could do was be there, fight for the lives of them all.

He wonders, still, what cause there is, worth all those lives?

He wonders, and feels the uselessness of that wondering.

They chose to give their hearts, and for that… for them… Levi would keep fighting to his last and dying breath.

For these people, here within these walls. 

His comrades. 

His friends.

It was for them, Levi remembers.

It was always only for them. 

[itsclydebitches]

I haven’t read a whole lot of TMA fic, so I’m sure this already exists somewhere, but I really want a time travel fic where Jon goes back to Gertrude’s era.

So it’s 2007-ish, before his younger counterpart has started working at the Institute, but years into Elias and Gertrude’s tenure. They’re having a normal day serving the semi-omniscient fear god when a fucking full-fledged avatar of the Beholding - complete with a small mountain of tapes - falls through a rift in space-time and crash lands on Gertrude’s desk.

(Season 5 Jon might have decided not to kill Helen and instead used her to get here. If he ever sees her again they’re going to have A Talk™ about her choice of transportation.)

For the record, a hot mess of a man falling from the sky indoors is only like... the eighth most interesting thing to happen to Gertrude this week. Still, it’s clear he’s not entirely human - one gets a sense for these things, even without a giant eyeball’s help - and she’s got a knife on him faster than you can say “Statement.” This doesn’t seem to faze the man.

That annoys the fuck out of Gertrude.

Meanwhile, Elias has nearly passed out from the supernatural alarm bells going off in his head because the Ceaseless Watcher’s special little boy is here!!! What does that mean? Hell if he knows, but this man is ALIGHT with the Entities’ marks, just dripping with the power of the Eye, and Elias finds he has the sudden urge to drop to his knees before this stranger, something he’s only ever done post-Watcher’s Crown.

(This might be a Jonlias fic, whoops.)

Elias, seeing The Archivist for the first time: 😍😍😍😍😍

Gertrude, seeing The Archivist for the first time: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

So after introductions Jon is all, “Yes, I’m an eldritch monster that’s forced to feed off the trauma of others, but I’m your eldritch monster. Please, Gertrude, I’d like nothing more than to carve out Magnus’ heart with you so he can’t destroy the whole fucking world.”

Elias, suddenly experiencing true fear for the first time in decades, feeding the Eye and being fed in turn and basically entering a feedback loop where this powerful stranger threatening to murder him is the hottest thing he’s ever Seen: !!!!! 💖💞😱!!!!!🤩😊💚!!!!!

And at first Gertrude’s like hell no, not having any more goddamn avatars in my archives thank you, but then the trio passes young intern Sasha James (shhh don’t worry if that fits the timeline) and Jon looses it. The hold that the Stranger had on him in his original timeline has broken and he’s able to recognize this as the real Sasha - her face, her voice, her very panicked looks towards her bosses as this random man sobs into her shoulder. And Gertrude’s like dammit, clearly The Archivist still has some of his humanity left. No true Fear monster would ever willingly be that embarrassing.

After prying Jon away from Sasha and promising her a raise to avoid any HR reports, they get the whole long, traumatic story out of him, but any plans to just permanently kill Elias kinda... sputter out. It’s a little bit of a Web thing, a little bit of a time travel thing, and a little bit of Jon just feeling... wrong when he considers it, no matter what he’s told Gertrude. It’s similar to when he let Annabelle live, though Elias has done absolutely fuck-all to earn his mercy. This confuses Jon, though it’s pretty far down on his list of worries.

The good news is that Jon’s mere presence puts a permanent wrench in Elias’ plans. He’s never going to repeat the ritual to open the door, obviously, and good fucking luck marking another archivist while he’s Watching. Given Jon’s suspicions that he became semi-immortal after waking from his coma, he’ll be Watching a damn long time, you megalomaniacal bastard.

The bad news is that since Elias can no longer plot an intricate manipulation, he’s decided that the next best thing is to just convince Jon to bring about the end of the world willingly.

By wooing him.

Elias: “We can be Kings of a ruined world together, Jon~”

Gertrude: “I am not paid enough for this.”

So begins the office romance comedy of Jon’s nightmares, where instead of hating him for ruining his world domination plans, Elias is smitten - in a suave, very creepy kinda way - and has decided that he’ll simply wait Jon out, wearing him down until the inevitable day when he realizes that they were meant to be. A full-fledged Archivist was dropped into his lap, ranting about how he out-foxed a future version of Elias, tormented by his own monstrosity, and people expected his narcissistic ass to not fall head over heels with his own creation?? As if.

Jon is Not Having A Good Time.

Originally when he landed here he was all, “Where is my Martin whom I love so dearly? Where is the support and companionship that I crave?” But after ‘bumping into’ him a few times outside the Institute, Jon comes to the bitter conclusion that whatever connection they had is gone. He recalls Martin’s firm belief that they never would have become a couple without all the trauma they’d been through and though this time around Jon definitely doesn’t hate him... he doesn’t love him either. Oh, he loves that he exists, seeing Martin whole and blissfully ignorant of the Fears helps heal something in Jon, but it takes him a very long time to admit that he’s too nice. Too caring. Too tentative in his insecurity. Jon grinds his teeth and admits in the privacy of his own thoughts that he was attracted to a bastard version of Martin, one who showed off a little bit of his own monstrosity, was connected to his own domain, could cut just as cruelly with his words as Jon could with his powers... Meeting with him now over coffee, inches away, Jon has never felt farther from him. This Martin simply isn’t a part of the world that created Jon.

Good, he decides and firmly steers Martin away from the Institute. Thanks to some blackmail and Peter Lukas’s money, Martin finds himself with a caretaker for his mom and the promise of a full ride through whatever creative writing program he can get into.

Meanwhile, Elias is of course stalking and spying on Jon whenever he can, doing the metaphorical equivalent of doodling hearts in his notebook whenever he catches a glimpse of why Jon no longer connects with Martin. He’s a bastard avatar with shitty morals and, frankly, far better taste in poetry. Open your third eyes, Jon!!

Gertrude, who avoided sacrificing Michael after a stern talking to from Jon: “You sure you don’t want the Spiral to eat you, kid? Anything’s better than watching this clusterfuck.”

Michael: 🙃🙃🙃

After a while the Institute settles into a new kind of normal. Jon, Gertrude, and Michael defend the archives from the slew of enemies they’ve both amassed, stopping the occasional ritual in their free time. Jon has long come to the conclusion that the Fears couldn’t have originated here - not with the Eye being unable to see its own creation - so starving them in this reality at the expense of their world wouldn’t serve the greater good. The best they can do is continually contain them - which they’ve gotten real good at. Elias continues to bother Jon with a fervor that’s almost admirable (he can see how this guy managed plans for upwards of 200 years) and waffles between playing the Mysterious Boss archetype that he’d used on Jon the first time around, and just giving in to the utter adoration he feels whenever Jon is in the room. It’s clear he’s long since started worshiping Jon rather than the Eye and the Eye is... totally fine with that?

Gertrude: “How did you get the Ceaseless Watcher to treat you like a favored child?”

Jon: Trauma?? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

After seeing how much happier Martin is, Jon guides the rest of his former assistants away from the Institute, Sasha included. It helps, a little, but it also makes him even more isolated than he was the first time around.

Gertrude realizes this, so when Elias’ flirting - “I’ve found a fresh statement for you, Jon. Oh do stop glaring, it’s just a bit of chloroform. She’ll wake up soon. You can’t be satisfied with stale writings for forever” - starts inducing more fond annoyance than fear or horror, she becomes #Concerned.

Gertrude: “You realize that desensitizing you to his actions was the point all along, right?”

Jon: “Mmhm. But is it still manipulation if I know it’s manipulation?”

Gertrude: “You cannot possibly be considering this.”

Jon: “Would it help if I admitted that dating Elias wouldn’t be the worst decision I’ve ever made?”

Gertrude: “NO.”

The thing is, Jon liked Elias before he revealed himself to be an immortal body-snatcher hell-bent on creating... well, hell on Earth. He liked the soft academic exterior, his careful words, love of organization and attention to detail, the dry humor, cutting intellect, those suits that likely cost more than three months of his salary combined... In fact, Jon is now in a place to vividly remember the embarrassment he felt while interviewing for the archivist’s position, too busy avoiding looking at Elias’ lips to catch the hungry glint in his eye.

Of course, that Elias only exists as a veneer... though what was Jon’s “I’m just a normal man going grocery shopping, please ignore my scars and aborted grab as I resist demanding a statement from you” if not a veneer of its own? Where did their ‘real’ selves begin and their conscious choices end? The most awful thing about all this is that Elias is right. Oh, not about them being Kings of a ruined world, but about how no one but another avatar can truly understand an avatar. By this point Jon is years past his coma, fully at peace - or at least, as at peace as he’ll ever get - with the fact that he chose to live as a monster rather than die as a human. That means Knowing things at his leisure... though he tries not to catch anything private. It means Compelling others to provide him with more knowledge... though he’s careful with his questions around friends. It means Feeding off of others’ worst moments in life... though Jon restricts himself to statements that Gertrude has collected first, so that he never haunts anyone’s dreams. And it means spending the majority of his time with other monsters and monster-aligned allies... though Jon plants his feet firmly in his human morals and refuses to budge.

If he can navigate all that, why not this too?

Elias has said more than once that he would make Jon the worst version of himself - said with such glee and promise as to almost, almost sound like something Jon wants. Jon figures that the worst version of Elias, from his perspective, would be to look a bit more human.

“We can bring out the worst in each other,” he agrees one day, followed by a shark-like grin.

Elias hasn’t the faintest idea what he’s just gotten himself into.

And that feels wonderful. Manipulating him into being a marginally better person who doesn’t bring about the apocalypse might actually be more satisfying than stabbing him. The Elias of Jon's original timeline would have HATED this and that makes Jon do a happy little wiggle whenever he thinks about it.

Gertrude: “You’re leashing a fucking dragon, Sims.”

Jon: “Better than letting it roam free.”

Gertrude: “Just so long as he doesn’t chew through the reins.”

Jon: “Yeah well, I’ll be the first one burned if that happens” and he holds up his charred hand with a shrug.

So begins the most messed up courting ritual the world has ever seen. Do they work as a couple? Oddly enough, yes. Amazingly well, in fact. Is it a healthy relationship? LOL yeah right. But then that’s rather the point. Jon gave up on that the day he acknowledged that, yes, a part of him liked being the most powerful being roaming a hellish landscape - liked not being vulnerable for once. Back when he’d first joined the Institute, post-breakup with Georgie, Jon couldn’t even imagine someone liking him enough to grab a drink after work. He’s past pretending that having the cult-like devotion of a lover, the favor of a Fear god, and the grudging respect of everything else that goes bump in the night isn’t really fucking nice.

Sometimes Elias plays the part of a compassionate human for Jon, as a treat. Sometimes Jon let’s Elias bask in another’s terror, as a treat. Sometimes Jon is Jonathan Sims and sometimes he’s The Archivist. “Let’s rule a burned-out world together” becomes a staple request in their relationship, with Jon always giving Elias the equivalent of a pat on the head and a, “Sure, honey. Maybe next week.” They find something like balance that way.

Plus there’s Gertrude, perpetually in the shadows with an arsenal of weaponry and the promise to obliterate them both if they ever go too far. She reminds Jon of his grandmother when she threatens to fuck them up in the afterlife if they ever make her kill them.

Something, something, dysfunctional eldritch found families are beautiful?

Jon and Elias have achieved something akin to an uncanny, domestic bliss when Elias points out that this body won’t last forever...

Jon Does Not Like the idea of Elias kidnapping another innocent.

However...

Jon: “You know Jurgen Leitner is living in the Institute’s tunnels, right?”

And they lived ever after. The “happily” is highly subjective.

Bonus:

Post-apocalypse!Jon meeting with Original!Jon to warn him away from the Institute, painfully thin ever since his coma, hip-length hair streaked unnaturally white, a slew of scars covering every available bit of skin, the slightest green glow behind his eyes, somehow looking supremely confident and powerful while also embodying the most Awkward Academic you’ve ever seen: Hey.

Og!Jon: G-good lord!

Jon: It’s okay. You can say ‘fuck.’ Please say ‘fuck,’ Jon. We deserve it.

[versegm]

There are few things in this world that can genuinely surprise Morgan. It comes with living for so long, she supposes; when you’ve seen so many things, it’s hard not to feel a deja vue about everything. Even her own death, while unfortunate, had not been surprising. Morgan had always known that passing away peacefully was not an option for her.

Still, it seems that she has not grown fully immune to bafflement. “Come again?”

Sir Kyrielight swallows hard. She’s beet-red, wringing her hands nervously. Still, she does not break eye contact. “I said I love you.”

The sentence does not make any more sense the second time around. Morgan rotates it in her brain, tears it apart. I. This one is easy; it refers to Mash, the speaker. Love. An action and an emotion all at once- the thing Mash is presumably doing, or feeling. You. Morgan is the only one in the room. It can only refer to her.

I love you. Three words that do not fit together. One of them has to be wrong, surely. Misheard or misunderstood. If Mash loves someone, it certainly cannot be Morgan- cannot be this wretched witch willing to burn the world down for her goals. If Morgan is loved, it certainly cannot be by Mash- this knight of virtue and courage who stands by the human order. And if Mash and Morgan have anything between the two of them, it certainly cannot be love. Hate, perhaps. Comfort, if one is generous. But love? Love. Love. L, o, v, e. Barely even a word. Just four letters stacked together. A simple sound with no meaning. 

“As a… friend?” While still odd, this would make more sense than what Morgan initially interpreted. Yes, this must be what Sir Kyrielight had meant; that she held fondness for Morgan, and wanted to make it known.

Except, no. The knight shakes her head. “No. Romantically.”

And now Morgan is back to square one. “... Sir Kyrielight, are you certain you are not mistaken? Emotions can be hard to tell apart. You could not be blamed for mixing them up.”

She meant for her words to be comforting, but Sir Kyrielight’s gaze turns into a glare. While Morgan is not unaccustomed to the knight’s anger, she doesn’t recall ever seeing it directed towards her.

“ Queen of Winter, ” Morgan always takes care to use proper titles when addressing others. It’s only polite. Yet, somehow, having Mash refer to her by her title feels… uncomfortable. “You can reject me. You can ignore me. You can pretend I never said anything. But I will not allow you to deny my feelings.”

She walks up to Morgan. Sir Kyrielight is a full head shorter than her; but right now, back straight, fury in her eyes, that does not make her any less imposing. “I love you. Deal with it however you want, but that, that’s a fact.”

*****

“You told her what?! ”

Slowly, Morgan sets down her teacup. “It seemed like a logical conclusion at the time.”

“You and your logic.” Habetrot rolls her eyes, crossing her arms. “Morgan, listen to me. Love is an emotion. By definition, it is not rational. If Mash loves you, it’s not for something as simple as the sum of your parts. It’s because you’re you.”

Nonsense. Emotions may not be rational, but they’re still somewhat grounded in reality. What could there possibly be in Morgan that could inspire love? “I know not what to do with her love.”

“You don’t have to do anything with it.”Habetrot sighs. “It’s easy. If you love her back, tell her so, and the two of you can become merry brides together. If you don’t, tell her so, and she will nurse her broken heart on her own. You only really got two options here.”

Fair enough. “How do I know if I love her, then?”

Slowly, very slowly, Habetrot blinks.

“... Love,” she articulates carefully, as if talking to a child, “is an emotion. It’s something close to joy. When a bride gets close to her chosen groom, she gets so happy there are stars in her eyes. It’s a fire inside the soul, fluttering like birds inside one’s belly.”

… That seems a bit dramatic. Can emotions truly be so intense? Morgan has her doubts.

“So. Do you love her?”

Morgan thinks. She thinks hard. “... She makes me very happy.” She doesn’t know if this is love- but if nothing else, that part, she’s sure of.

Habetrot pinches the bridge of her nose. “Okay, this isn’t working. Let’s try something else.”

*****

“- and she sent me to you.”

Sir Barghest pauses, midway through stirring her stew. “To… explain love to you?”

Morgan nods. “Indeed. You are the most knowledgeable on that subject.”

“Your faith in me flatters me, your majesty.” The knight turns back to her stew. “Love is… a want. A hunger, of sorts. When you love someone, you want to be with them. The want can be more specific- wanting to kiss them, or make love to them- but generally speaking you just… want them.”

She reaches out to grab some spices. She does not look at Morgan. “It can be a terrible thing. Sometimes you want someone so badly you want to devour them. Sometimes love reduces you to something lower than an animal.”

She sprinkles some ginger in the broth. “But sometimes… love is what prompts you to become a better person. You want to be worthy of the person you love. You want to be good enough for them. And that part is wonderful, I believe.”

Hm. An interesting perspective. “Is it worth it? To love someone when you know you can very well be their doom?”

“Yes.” Sir Barghest does not hesitate even a second. “It is worth it. It has to be worth it. What would be, otherwise?”

If Sir Gawain of Many Lovers is saying it- then there must be some wisdom in that statement, even if Morgan doubts it.

Sir Barghest pauses once more, for a couple seconds. Then she turns to look at Morgan. “Your majesty,” she asks carefully, “what do you want?”

What does she want? She wants to spend more time with Sir Kyrielight, that much is undeniable. If she thinks more about it- she would be amenable to physical affection, even. Sir Kyrielight had hugged her a couple times, it had left her skin tingly all over for hours. Morgan can’t imagine what a kiss would do to her.

But… for all the things Morgan can and will do, she does not believe she is capable of change. She’d tried, she really did- tried to be a savior, tried to be the kind one, tried to be the helpful one. She couldn’t. Her role is that of a witch, and nothing, no one- not herself, not Totrot, not (Ma-) (Fairy knight Ga-) (her frien-) Uther could change that. Morgan’s desires weigh little in the matter. Sir Kyrielight can not make Morgan better than she is. Remains the question of whether Morgan is capable of becoming worse.

*****

“So, Mash is in love with you, and you’re in love with her, but you’re worried about dragging her down?”

Morgan quirks up an eyebrow. “I did not say that. I am unsure as to whether I love her or not.”

Her spouse makes a strange face. Whatever emotion this is meant to convey, she cannot figure it out. “... Anyways. I don’t really see why you worry so much. Mash wouldn’t have confessed to you if she didn’t think she could handle you.”

“Sir Kyrielight is a virtuous person. She would offer a second chance to anyone claiming to want one. It is possible she has not yet realized that I am not a person who can be saved.”

Fujimaru frowns. “You think her naive.”

“I did not say that.”

“Kind of the vibe you’re giving off here though.”

“ I did not say that. ” Ah, now is a feeling Morgan recognizes- she’s irritated. “I, more than anyone else,know the things Sir Kyrielight has endured. I am well aware that she’s witnessed humane horrors the likes of which can never be put into words. I am merely worried that she might not realize these awful things can apply to me as well.”

Her spouse doesn’t reply immediately. For a few seconds, they only stare, before folding their hands under their chin. “What is love to you?”

Morgan has no idea. Her love for Britain overpowered everything else. She does not know what it means to love a person- if that’s something she has ever experienced in the first place. “I am told it’s a feeling, or a desire.”

Fujimaru makes a noncommittal noise. “That is true. However, I would like to offer you another point of view: love is an action.”

That is a widely different definition indeed. “Elaborate.”

“ Love is a verb, first and foremost. It’s the act of looking at someone. I don’t mean with your eyes. I mean truly looking at someone. Seeing them for everything they are- the good and the bad, the flaws and the virtues, the beautiful bits and the ugly ones. It’s the act of acknowledging someone’s whole self, including the parts that are inconvenient to you, and refusing to flinch.”

“You believe love to be the act of unconditional acceptance?”

“Essentially.” Huh. How very in character of them. “When Mash says she loves you, I don’t think she believes you to be pristine clean. I think she believes you worthy of staining her hands.”

“This seems mildly worrying.”

“And who are you to dictate her choices? You’re not her queen.” That statement hurts more than Morgan thought it would, though she would be incapable to spell out why it does. “She made her choice. She chose you. You can’t deny her that. All you can do is make your own choice: do you want to take her hand?”

“There is little risk in doing so.” If Morgan is everything that is evil in this world, then Sir Kyrielight is easily all that is good in this world. If such a thing as a savior can truly exist, then this is what Sir Kyrielight is.

“You think so? She makes mistakes too, you know. She’s quite soft-hearted. She hates fighting. That makes some decisions very difficult for her. Can you accept that? And if you do: can you accept that you will see her getting hurt over this, and you will not be able to help her?”

“Obviously.” The words tumble out of Morgan’s mouth by themselves. “None of these are flaws. Why wouldn’t I be willing to smear her blood on my hands?”

Her spouse smiles. “And you say you’re unsure if you love her back.”

… Ah.

“Apologies.” Morgan gets up suddenly, straightening her dress. “It seems like I need to have a conversation with Sir Kyrielight, and it cannot wait.”

The last thing she hears as she crosses the doorstep is “sweep her off her feet!”

*****

Morgan finds Sir Kyrielight inside her room. Rather predictably, in fact- and it’s a wonder that it took Morgan so long to realize that most people do not have her schedule memorized.

“Sir Kyrielight.” She says, standing in the doorway. “Mash. We need to talk.”

She startles when Morgan uses her first name. How cute. Still, Morgan cannot let herself be distracted now. She walks through the room to sit next to Mash. “I have done a lot of thinking.”

“Ah.” Sir Ky- Mash casts her gaze down. “Come to reject me, then?”

Morgan allows herself a huff of irritation. “Do not put words inside my mouth. When I am done, you may take back your confession, you may chase me out of your room, but I will not allow you to misinterpret my words.”

She extends a hand to set it on top of Mash’s. The knight jolts, but does not take her hand away. Hopefully, this is a good sign.

“I am somewhat… disconnected, from my emotions.” She brings Mash’s hand to her chest. “My heart is that of a witch. It curses panhuman history. It is cold as the winters of my long-gone Britain.”

Her free hand reaches out to cup Mash’s face. “But it’s yours, shall you accept it.”

There is a single second of silence following her statement, Mash staring at her with wide eyes- and then the knight suddenly collides with her chest, wrapping both arms around her. “Of course I’ll take it. I’ll take everything you are willing to give me.”

Warmth spreads under Morgan’s skin. Softly, she returns the embrace. “It is most unwise of you… but most welcome, nonetheless.”

“I don’t care. I’ve been wise for too long. This is me being selfish. I want you, all of you. I don’t care if it’s rotten in here. I want you down to the marrow.”

With that phrasing, it almost sounds like cannibalism. Is this what Sir Barghest meant? When she said love could turn one into an animal? (Did her lovers feel as flattered as Morgan is? To know that there is someone out there who would rather cram her inside their ribcage than letting her go?)

“There is much I am willing to give.” With no Britain left to protect, no duty to uphold- Morgan now belongs to the stranger that is herself. She can afford to give things away. “But for now… perhaps your hand in mine?”

Mash tilts her head up, staring straight at Morgan. She’s crying, Morgan realizes. She’s smiling too, though. “Yes… yes, that would be nice.”