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shield-of-wesnoth · 1 year ago

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Analyzing why BMR Episode II’s “Forest Confrontation” scenario felt bad to play.

In my previous post, I rambled in the tags just a little bit about how there’s a scenario in BMR’s second part that felt especially unfair and unfun at the time I played it. While I’m in the mood, I thought I’d explain why and dissect the scenario a bit in the process. I haven’t played it in a few years, this applies at least to the 1.14/1.15-branch compatible releases, so if the scenario has changed dramatically since then, uh... I didn’t know that.

The give context, the BMR/Trinity series is hard. They’re expert level campaigns, so of course I always brace myself for a challenge in that case, but it feels safe to say that they are especially hard for various reasons. Despite being one of the older campaign series at this point, there are still several points at which I feel they’re more reliant on luck than strategy... maybe this is because there’s no walkthrough, maybe I have yet to find and watch any replays of people successfully beating them, or maybe I’m just not as good a strategist as I think, but by categorizing the campaigns as “expert” even the dev admits that they are objectively difficult. If you haven’t made an attempt at BMR in the last several years, modern versions introduce two massive new mechanics: An inventory/equip system for your heroes and units, and limited recruit quantity campaign-wide. Because Wesnoth campaigns’ design generally are supposed to run on the KISS Principle, the fact that these mechanics are present at all could be enough to make the campaigns “expert” on their own, as they are nonstandard and require the player to adopt vastly different strategies (compare: UtBS’s RPG elements and unusual day/night cycle, and SotA’s unusual zombies and game progression). In theory, I really like these mechanics! I enjoy inventory management in LoTI and Five Fates, and forcing a player to carefully preserve their army throughout a campaign as they receive a trickle of new available recruits sounds like a fascinating challenge that could drive me to better-tune my unit survival strategies! Unfortunately, the campaign still plays like it expects you to have a massive army that you can replenish as you have more gold (or to, as I said, be very lucky). Let me elaborate a bit, now...

“Forest Confrontation” is a level that I got stuck on, and had to cheat to get past it at all (fun fact: my first experiences learning WML were making its sequel Trinity (at least the version for 1.6) easier!); I immediately got stuck on its following scenario “Fort Kuhle” for similar reasons and stopped playing, but this post isn’t about that one. When I get stuck or make a bad enough mistake, or get unlucky enough in a Wesnoth scenario, I’m not shy about going back a turn or five to try something different. The officially recommended Wesnoth experience from back in its early days is to roll with the punches and never reload from a mid-scenario save, but the “landmines” and punishing positive feedback loops in many campaigns have all but completely made me give up on that play style. I try to avoid having to reload too often, but sometimes I may feel my hand is forced if a scenario is arduous enough... and when it’s too much even when I try over and over, even save-scumming mid-turn, I crack the thing open in Notepad++ and try to see what I’m missing. What I found in Forest Confrontation’s .cfg had me fascinated and offended.

Forest Confrontation is a 48-turn long (on its easiest difficulty setting, of course), winter-themed level with a river down the middle with Fog Of War where you have to defeat two allied enemy leaders-- one Loyalists and one Outlaws-- while constantly keeping the Loyalists from reaching your camp. You start with 350g, Loyalists start with 100g + 15 income, and Outlaws start with 100g. The Outlaws start with a few Thieves already on-map, but this isn’t too weird. As you are playing with the Ukian faction, you technically have the terrain advantage here. Sounds fairly normal and straightforward, yeah? Not quite.

General Burton-- the Loyalist leader, has a nasty little mechanic working in his favor in the scenario’s code. Literally so that-- and I quote-- he “has a big army”. And remember before I explain it your army’s mechanic: You have a campaign-wide maximum total number of units you can recruit per type, this number is only increased by making progress. If you need another Ukian Dog mid-scenario, and you’re out of Ukian Dogs because you recruited them all and your others died, and there are none in your recall list, you’re going to have no dogs until you find more dogs or the game decides you can have a few more later. It’s more “realistic”, very interesting, and makes every single death utterly devastating. Even if the campaign weren’t winter-themed, you’d constantly be walking on thin ice! Sometimes you’ll find some minor NPCs who want to join your cause and thus strengthen your army with more recruitables and recalls, but this isn’t all too common. I can’t say it doesn’t fit the story’s bleak mood.

“What is this nightmare mechanic, then?” It’s several smaller things, actually, but I’ll give you the big one, first.

In the scenario code, there’s a variable called “b_deaths” (presumably abbreviating something along the lines of “Burton’s deaths”), and an event tied to it on turn 4. The first thing this specific event does is give Burton 200 gold because of course it does. The second thing it does is set b_deaths to a value of 12 (20 or 28 on the harder difficulties). This is vital for the meat of the mechanic to work, in another event that depends on it. This event is programmed to go off every time one of Burton’s units dies if b_deaths is greater than zero. And so every time it activates, Burton receives 21 gold, and b_deaths’s current value is reduced by one. This means that, on the campaign’s easiest setting, Burton gets a 21 gold gift for each of the next twelve units of his you kill after turn 4... or a total of 252 gold on top of the previous 200 he received on turn 4.

As a programmer, I find this very cool and a pretty genius concept. It indeed does give the enemy the appearance of magically always having the bigger, unending army (subtly enough to where it could just be mistaken for income, too!), and could provide great incentive to flee in scenarios where you have to run to a checkpoint instead of staying to defeat enemy leaders. Unfortunately, this scenario isn’t one of those, and as a player this was an absolute nightmare to have to go up against.

It all sounds pretty nasty, yes? There’s even more that makes it worse!

Remember that river that both you and the enemies must cross in order to get at each other? The scenario objectives hint-hint at you to “get to the river as soon as possible and avoid letting the enemy across,” and they are not screwing around with that advice. Every time you or an enemy crosses it, it increases one of two variables-- each representing you and the enemy having crossed the river a certain number of times. This does something with the rest of its event, of course... If the Outlaws get even one unit across the river enough, then Burton receives-- for free-- 3 Horsemen and 2 Knights. But if before then, you have at least one of your own units across the river, then instead the Outlaws get (for free) 2 Outlaws, 3 Trappers, and 2 Thieves. Once the Outlaws get six of their units across the river, then for free Burton gets 4 Knights and 1 Grand Knight, and the Outlaws get 3 Outlaws and 2 Bandits.

A fun fact: You don’t actually have to defeat the Outlaws to win! It’s just Burton. They flee if you defeat Burton first, and then you’re victorious. An unfun fact: If you do defeat the Outlaw leader-- which would make sense to do, since they’re also attacking you and are weaker than Burton-- Burton gets a free Dragoon and Iron Mauler right next to him.

And of course, once you get your units close enough to Burton’s keep, he receives 54 gold for good measure.

Have I also mentioned that the AI is set to aggressively press for your camp (and you will lose instantly if enemy troops invade it), and just as aggressively defend Burton himself? No? Well, it also does those things.

And so, Burton can receive a maximum of 451 gold’s worth of units for free. Burton is essentially guaranteed to receive 506 gold throughout the level on top of his starting gold, base income, and village income unless you somehow take him out before his army obscenely fast. None of the units he gets for free are loyal, but 500+ gold is nothing to sneeze at. And remember: No matter how much gold you, the player, save up, your recruit amount is capped.

You have that seemingly-merciful long turn limit, but with Burton having a 15 gold income bonus compared to yours while he relentlessly pushes across the river, not much can come from its hypothetical benefits. Where in other campaigns you could hunker down on the defensive for about a day or two to build up your troops, protect your base, and enlarge your army, the recruit cap you have combined with the bountiful boons Burton has make that idea pretty impractical. He’s just going to take his big income, increase it with all the villages he can get on his side of the river, and steamroll you as hard as he possibly can. You can’t even be content to chip away at his troops at the river’s edge as they swarm you, because that gives him more money for more troops! He is inevitably going to overpower you. You cannot reasonably maintain enough troops to defeat him or hold him back, nevermind keeping enough alive for the next scenario. You can recall your veterans from previous scenarios, but recalling is expensive, and losing experienced units that may have useful gear hurts really bad.

Oh yeah, the equipment system! It definitely helps out a bit, and makes individual units more valuable and memorable, but not enough to withstand scenarios like this one. Not even close.

So, that’s the problem! All of that “ruined my day” so to speak, and really tired me out. When I forced it to be more tolerable and finally moved onto the next level, only to see that it was yet more incredibly wealthy royal army that I had to take out with my feeble forces, I was done. I want to finish it someday, but I haven’t picked the campaign back up in years. What could be done to “fix” this? I don’t know. I honestly don’t! The computer I played that round of the campaign on is dead, so I can’t check what exactly I did to the WML those two-ish years ago (I’m pretty sure I at least removed Burton being able to suddenly get an Iron Mauler and Dragoon, though). Even cutting out the biggest of Burton’s bonuses wouldn’t make it perfect; it’s something that would take a lot of testing and tweaking to really narrow down the main issue, not even getting into the rest of the campaign... Forest Confrontation has some cool novel mechanics backing it up, and interesting well-crafted ideas, it just feels awful to deal with and impossible to truly win.

I try and keep an open mind about game design. Sometimes a creative vision is for a really hard game, and that’s valid! But I honestly believe a lot of veteran UMC Wesnoth devs fall into a spiral of solipsistic difficulty-- where eventually they’re getting so good at the game, at their own campaign, that they’re compelled to make it progressively harder and harder until it’s nigh on impossible for anyone of different skill levels to complete. It becomes punishing rather than challenging. The player feels less like they’re missing something and more like the design is intentionally unfair.

When you get good enough at the strategies, it becomes harder to test for possible player mistakes yourself. You can be utterly blindsided by something unwise that a player chooses to do! Something that could possibly screw them over for the entire rest of the campaign, giving them a cruel, slow end that you absolutely did not intend! I’ve had this problem even while trying to make my games intentionally easy! In this case, having playtesters give feedback over time is incredibly valuable.

But... BMR has had plenty of time. Either everyone having given feedback over the 10+ years isn’t bothered by the difficulty, or the developer doesn’t care to make it easier even on its easiest setting.

A lack of forgiveness for mistakes in gameplay is really pretty evident throughout the author’s work. In Trinity it’s incredibly easy to get overpowered by foes in the earlier levels, especially when you’re playing as the humans’ team. Every time I’ve beaten the “Join the Dark Side” scenario in BMR part 1-- the only campaign in the BMR/Trinity series that I’ve been able to fairly consistently win over the years-- I always feel more that it’s out of frantic luck than careful strategy, and I’m still unsure what the intended experience really is. In the long-abandoned Tales of the Setting Sun, your small handful of troops become immortal only after the first scenario, and even though I managed to get to the end and “win” the thing after having had one of them die at the beginning, I really, really felt it during the entire campaign that I was meant to have kept them all alive. I’m not sure if it’s intentionally so malicious, but it feels like it is, and that’s kind of the problem.

Believe it or not, I like a challenge in Wesnoth. Beating the 1.13 branch version of UtBS without a walkthrough was one of my proudest moments after spending nearly my entire childhood stuck on the first two scenarios, but I still want to go back and beat a different version of it someday, because I feel like completing it right when the Desert Elves were first overhauled meant that it hadn’t been properly balanced and I didn’t get the true experience. Even when I cheat, I don’t want to bring out all the big guns at once. I may only tweak one or two things-- usually just enemy starting gold-- to level the playing field slightly so that I can (hopefully) continue through the rest of the campaign without having to get so drastic; it’s if I can’t win even then that I have to resort to meddling with AI, income, free enemy units, and enemy gold bonuses all at once. I know that a scenario being hard and seeming hopeless does not make it impossible. The first scenario of Northern Rebirth still daunts me, but having seen a relative just barely scrape by it without guidance has proven to me that it’s certainly not quite as awful as I’d feared. As a younger teen, when I followed walkthroughs, I was able to make considerable progress in UtBS and FtF-- proving to my young self that they are balanced if you know what you’re doing. I’ve had moments when I was struggling in a campaign, fearing the worst, only to discover with awe that the designer had not only intended this, but that the strategies they’d guided me towards with their design had benefitted me even as I thought I had no hope of completion! A balanced campaign is a magical, wonderful thing to experience.

I like BMR and Trinity. I want to like them so, so badly. Their coding, artwork, and worldbuilding is some of the most impressive in Wesnoth UMC, has been for years, and continues to be. As I said way above, I can’t say that these design decisions don’t suit the vibe the campaign has! In this chapter, you really do feel like you’re playing as just some guy leading a ragtag group of untrained militia through the bitter cold, in a seemingly-hopeless fight you’ve stumbled into against the vast and powerful forces of a corrupt royal military, while unknown dangers lurk around every corner. It’s immersive, and goodness knows that marrying themes and mood with game design is quite a challenge in its own right. Ever since I first found out about them, I’ve avoided reading ahead into spoilers, and been determined to finish them. It’s been at least twelve years since then, trying them on and off, and I thought I’d have improved enough by now to be able to complete the series with minimal cheats, but... it just hasn’t happened.

I assume that, if a Wesnoth campaign is well-designed, that it can technically be beaten by anyone who knows how to play the game, regardless of skill level. At least, if they had a walkthrough to follow to guide them through the beats. I feel like, even if BMR and Trinity did have walkthroughs, that I’d still be needing some serious luck to reach their endings. Like even if I followed it to the letter, some minor human error that made my gameplay not perfectly efficient would come back to bite me at the last second and keep completion just out of reach. If many campaigns have what ESR calls “landmines” and “tomato surprises”, then the BMR series installments are minefields that are also full of assassins sneakily attaching time bombs to your back. Or maybe I just happen to suck even though I’ve been playing Wesnoth since I was seven years old. Who knows, really?

BMR and Trinity have changed a LOT over the years, and with these changes, re-balancing has to happen to bring everything back into order to make it “playable”. It just feels to me like BMR hasn’t caught up with its own ambitions. Forest Confrontation could be a cool scenario! The bridge collapsing if too many human units (not dogs!) stand on it at once it is a cool touch, and Burton dissing his mercenary ally by calling him a “little hussy” is really funny. At the very least, while it’s completely unreasonable with its challenges, BMR moderates its edginess and expletives gracefully.

tl;dr, to quote your protagonist Lorenzon himself, from a later scenario that I accidentally clicked on while trying to find the file for Forest Confrontation:

“We are still outnumbered.”

#umc #umc wesnoth #wesnoth #battle for wesnoth #bad moon rising (umc)#bad moon rising (wesnoth)#wesnoth markup language #game design #long post #posting this now because it's over 3000 words long already dang

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unwrittenlibrary · 3 years ago

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i don’t wanna do this (i don’t wanna lose this)

eighteen plus blog minors dni

summary -> it’s all fake, every piece of it scripted and perfected for the camera, even the upcoming break-up you pretend doesn’t break your heart.

words -> 2.5k

warnings -> fake relationship, use of name (bucky calls the reader by her character’s name, lucia, once) nickname uses (baby, sweetheart) co-workers/friends to lovers, no smut, not beta’d

notes -> this is for the lovely maera’s ( @ambrosiase ) hotel indigo writing challenge i absolutely love this idea mae and am so appreciative that you created this challenge, it really pushed me out of my comfort zone and i got to explore an entirely new au.

room & service -> business meets pleasure with celebrity bucky barnes -> bucky and reader are co-stars in a fake relationship in a hotel for their final comic-con together.

— ➶ —

Bucky has been doing interviews with Sam all day today.

You’ve been working together for six seasons and have both been to too many comic-cons to count. Every single one of them you and Bucky had been paired up to do interviews and photo-ops together.

A scripted piece of a scripted relationship. Agreed upon when your characters romance began to pick up popularity and designed to look perfect until the end.

Tomorrow an article with be released ‘leaking’ the details of your perfect break-up too. A source close to the both of you will comment that wrapping of the show and being forced to go long distance just wasn’t working for you two. The writer will supply photos of today, the two of you avoiding sitting near one another and not speaking. They’ll write that their source confirmed this convention is actually the first time you’ve seen each other in months.

Even more articles have already been planted periodically questioning whether the two of you were still together, generating buzz around the show and what happens between your characters. It’s a brilliant job, honestly.

Except, you and Bucky had been in a fake relationship for so long, it had begun to feel real. This distance between you two felt purposeful in a way that hurt you more than it ever should have.

Your assistant is supposed to go through your instagram soon and begin archiving posts and pieces of your fake life with Bucky. He’s been glaringly absent from your social media recently and it makes your heart ache at the idea of him being nonexistent.

Your fans have noticed too. You read comment after comment all asking the same thing; What happened to you and Bucky?

“Oh, Lucia! My dear, Lucia.” You bite down a grin at the sound of Bucky’s voice through your door. His words were filtered by the wall between you and a little slurred from the drinks he had no doubt consumed at the hotel bar. “Open the door, please.”

You lock your phone and lay it on the bed beside you. “I’m busy, Bucky! Go bother Sam.” You call back despite already walking towards the door.

“Bother Sam? On our last night together?” You can see Bucky smile teasingly though the peephole. Despite his joking tone the words hurt. “Four years together and this is how things end? Through a hotel room door?”

His fist comes up to bang against the door and a hand comes up to his heart. He’s putting on a show for you, fully away of your eye watching carefully through the peephole. “How much have you had to drink, Bucky Barnes?” You ask as the door remains closed.

Bucky holds his fingers up in a pinch too small to be true. “Not much.” When his hand falls back to his side he smiles up at the peephole. “Let me in, sweetheart. I’ve missed you.”

You melt, becoming putty in his hand as you quickly move to unlatch the door. “I’ve missed you too.” You admit to him, face to face, as you lean against the door jam.

A smirk replaces Bucky’s sweet smile as his hands reach out to grip your hips. “This break-up is tough on me, baby.” He pushes you into the room, kicking the door shut behind him. “One more night. One last time. You and me.”

“Shut up!” You force his hands off of you and turn towards the mini bar in your room. “You’re such a dweeb. I’m glad we’re breaking up.” You pull out the miniature bottle of wine and twist the top off.

Bucky’s hand slams across his chest as he falls against the wall in dramatic fashion. “You’re… Glad? My frail heart can’t take it,” he falls to his knees, “Please. Tell my mother, I loved her.”

You watch, unamused, as Bucky falls to the floor in front of you. “You’re obnoxious.” A beaming smile breaks out onto Bucky’s face that makes you grin.

“I was serious, about missing you.” Bucky moves to sit up with his back against the edge of your bed. You move to sit beside him on the floor. “These junkets and photos just aren’t the same without you by my side, cracking jokes in my ear.”

You rest your head against his shoulder. “Me too. I love Wanda, but it’s just not the same.” You admit quietly.

There’s so much that you want to say to him. What if this wasn’t fake? What if we didn’t go through with the break-up plan? “Did they send you our social media plan?” Bucky asks quietly.

“Yeah,” You swallow thickly, “I have my assistant going through my account for me soon. We’re supposed to start untagging and deleting photos of each other this week.”

Bucky snorts. “How fucking sweet. Four years together and they have us untag each other to confirm a break up.” His fingers tap against his thigh as the two of you sit on the carpeted floor together.

“Has it really been four years?” You ask quietly. It’s more of a question to yourself, but Bucky answers it with a nod anyways.

“My longest relationship ever and it was fake.” Bucky’s awkward laugh makes the air tense as he stares down at his hands. “I’ve wasted so much of my life. So many chances gone.”

You know the words aren’t said with ill intent, but that doesn’t stop the crack from forming in your heart. You can’t fathom the idea of all your time together, fake or not, being a waste.

Your eyes cut away from him in embarrassment. “Was it really all a waste?” You ask quietly. The words are unintentional, but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re out in the air.

“What?” You can feel his eyes settle on you in an attempt to read your face or body language, but a career in acting comes in handy. Your back is ramrod straight and your face turned away perfectly to hide the emotions in your eyes. “It was fake when we could have had something real with people we actually cared about.”

It’s a knife to your broken heart. “People we actually care about?”

“You know, like, other girls and guys who we wanted to pursue but couldn’t because of the contract.” Bucky reaches out to wrap a hand around yours, but you pull away. “I don’t understand what’s wrong here.”

You shake your head, the regret of your words settling over you. “Nothing. I’m just… It’s been a long day.” You use the edge of the bed to help you stand while Bucky remains on the floor, watching you in confusion. “I’m tired, you should go.”

“Woah. What’s this one-eighty?” Bucky stands too and follows you as you move around to gather your toothbrush and skincare. “Two seconds ago we were joking about a fake break-up and now you’re all quiet and weird? You expect me to just leave?”

“Please.” You plead. The last thing you want to do is dump all your feelings out to Bucky, on the last day you two were officially contracted to each other, and make him feel guilty for feeling free. “I just need to be alone, Buck.”

You move to push past him towards your bathroom, but Bucky’s hand wraps around your wrist. “Come on, sweetheart. Don’t do this closing yourself off thing.”

“I’m not.” You say stubbornly. “I’m tired.” You try again to move past him, but his grip only tightens as he forces you to actually face him. “Buck-“

“You can tell me, you know?” He says quietly as his grip slackens. Your eyes meet his, pools of blue staring back at you with something akin to hurt. “You can trust me. We’re best friends, right? You’re my-“

“You don’t have to lie to me, Bucky. Pretend to care. You can go back to the bar and…” You pull your hand from him and cross your arms over your chest. “And tomorrow we can start being with people we actually care about.”

Bucky’s eyes squeeze shut as his own words are repeated back and left out in the open between you two. “That’s not what I…”

“What did you mean then?” You cut him off. You want to sound angry, but your tone is sad and tired. “Enlighten me, please.”

“I just meant… I meant we could date who we wanted to date, I didn’t mean for it to sound so awful.” He answers quietly. “I care about you a lot. We’ve been friends for over half a decade, of course I care about you.”

You swallow thickly. “What if I don’t want to date anyone else?” You force yourself to ask. If not now, then when? Ten years from now at a reunion of your show? You couldn’t live with this what if.

“What?” Bucky’s hand falls from your wrist as he takes a step back like your words have burned him.

You push through the thundering of your heart and ringing in your ears to ask, “haven’t you ever thought about it? I mean, four years of just us, all those dates and premieres, was it really all just work for you?”

“I don’t know… I mean…” Bucky rubs a hand over his jaw as you stare at him expectantly. “Have you?”

“I asked the question I think that would imply…” You trail off as his answer weighs down on your mind. It feels like a no. No. No. No. It’s on repeat in your mind as you move to sit down on your bed. “After a while the dates and photos and sappy posts didn’t feel all that forced anymore.” You admit quietly.

Bucky paces silently in front of you. You’re unsure of what’s going through his mind as he does it and it’s all you can do to not tap anxiously as you watch.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He finally asks when he finally pauses in front of you. You look up at him unsure of what to say. “I mean… When did you start…” He trails off like he doesn’t want the answer.

You look down at your hands in your lap. Despite your worries in telling Bucky you guess you had never truly thought of this conversation ending up this way. All these questions felt like Bucky preparing for a gentle rejection.

“I don’t know. After our second anniversary?” You keep your answer to him vague despite you being fully aware of when you started seeing Bucky differently. “That post you wrote for me that day. All the ones after. All of those words were fake?”

Your mind drifts to his words that day. The sweet and short caption had made butterflies erupt as you scrolled through the photos he had posted with it. Despite you both being required to post something, the photos he had chosen had been entirely genuine.

Pictures the two of you had taken together on set, selfies during your fake dates, and even a sweet set of photo booth pictures from your first premiere together.

You had stared at the post far too long as emotions rushed through you. Your heart raced at the idea of Bucky taking his time to pick photos that meant something to the both of you.

“I think that..” You shake your head in an attempt to rid yourself of the painful reminders. “I think you should go.” You stand up suddenly, your hands pushing gently at his chest.

Bucky’s eyes widen as his hands come up grip your arms in an attempt to stop you. “Woah. Let’s talk about this. I’m just trying to figure everything out.”

“Figure it out? What is there to figure out, Bucky?” You cry out, shoving harder. “If you don’t know how you feel then you should figure it out on your own.” You move past him to open the door.

Bucky follows after you hastily. “Sweetheart, wait, please. I just need a moment.” You grip his forearms tightly using Bucky’s own momentum against him as you guide him to the hallway outside your room. “I wasn’t expecting this. We have articles and photos and interviews planned about a break-up tomorrow.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything, Bucky.” The two of you are back where your night began. Opposite sides of the door as you stare, unsure of what to say. “Let’s just pretend this never happened, okay? The article will be published and we’ll confirm it and life will move on.”

The door slams shut in his face without warning, not giving him a chance to say anything else. You stare blankly at the ugly, green shade its painted in silence as you remind yourself; It was all fake. A script you had been given and followed to a tee. One you had gotten too caught up in.

You’re feelings don’t change the ending.

There’s a slow knock on your door. You suck in a breath as you move to open it an apology on the tip of your tongue.

“Bucky.” You’re cut off as his hands come up to rest on your cheeks and he pulls you towards him. Anything you had to say dissipates as his lips meet yours in a bruising kiss.

Your hands come up to grip his t-shirt tightly as you kiss him back your tongue slipping into his mouth while he pulls you flush against his body.

An arm wraps around your waist and Bucky pushes you back into your room, his foot kicking your door closed harshly.

The back of your knees hit the edge of your bed and you finally pull away to look at Bucky, but he speaks before you can say anything.

“Of course I’ve thought about it.” He breathes out. His eyes are wide with nerves and his cheeks flushed red. The sight of it mixed with his kiss makes your heart pound. “I’ve thought about kissing you for real, not in a room filled with crew and cameras. About what it would be like to be on a date where paparazzi hasn’t been tipped off. Baby,” his hands rest on your cheeks again as he forces your eyes to meet his, “I’ve thought about it all. What it would be like to be with you, to really be with you in every way. Sometimes it’s all I think about when we’re together.”

You take pause, your eyes widening and hands freezing in place as you listen to what he’s saying. “Why didn’t you say anything then? Why’d you just pace and ask me all those questions?”

“Because I’m an idiot.” He smiles brightly when you giggle. “Because I couldn’t believe you actually felt the same way. I was in shock.” He presses a gentle kiss to your lips.

You smile up at him softly. “What do we do about the article tomorrow?” You whisper your question.

You feel giddy with excitement as Bucky’s hands land on your hips to hold you in place, flush against him. “We deny it.”

“What about our managers?” Your smile doesn’t fade even as stress over the situation arises. “And…And our separate interviews tomorrow?”

“What are they gonna do? Fire us?” Bucky smiles. “We’ll tell them all about how in love we still are. That the source in the article was a dud and we’ve just been private recently as the show wraps.”

“We will?” You ask quietly. Your heart racing at his words. “You want to say all that?”

Bucky nods his head. “I do.”

You don’t say anything else he leans in for another kiss, you could worry tomorrow.

Bonus -> The Next Day

liked by buckybarnes, samwilson and 134,759 others

yourinstagram the final season of our show premieres this weekend and we’re so excited for you all to see how it ends. the first photo is from tonight and the second from our first season! the past six years has brought me so much joy and i’m so grateful for everything this show has given me. most importantly though, i’m thankful for you, bucky barnes. my adrian to my lucia. my best friend. my lover. thanks for making this show so fun.

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samwilson we made a great show. love you guys.

buckyfan thought y’all were a pr stunt lmao

yourinstagram apparently you’re not supposed to really fall in love for those to work…

buckybarnes i am most grateful for you. you made work worth it every god damn day.

yourfan my favorite couple on and off the screen.

— ➶ —

notes -> this is my first ever time joining a writing challenge, it really pushed me to work through block and focus on this instead of letting is die out like i have with other projects despite liking them so much!

(hoping you guys don’t hate the extra instagram idea, i just felt it fit in!)

hopefully you enjoyed and if you did, reblogs are greatly appreciated!

#the hotel indigo writing challenge #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x f!reader

424 notes · View notes

nohoney · 4 years ago

Text

Thunderstorms

note: my first bakugou fic I ever wrote, full stories can be read here

genre: fluff and smut (mostly fluff)

Sequels: Four Months and Notes

summary:

Everything is more romantic in the rain.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ✧

Bakugou isn’t a romantic by any means but he remembers the exact moment he knew that he was in love with you.

At the time, you were just his annoying friend who he met through Kirishima that he had gradually gotten closer to. At first it was just you asking to hang out and getting to know him and Bakugou would passively allow it, you annoyed him much less compared to his other friends. After a few months, he surprised you when he initiated a hang out for once instead of you doing it for the both of you.

“Oh, did my charm finally rub off on you?” you teased.

“You know what? Never fucking mind.”

“No, wait!”

Platonic hang outs eventually led to an actual first date, those dates becoming more frequent until the two of finally made it official, and those frequent dates became routine in your relationship. You’d trade back and forth between each other’s apartments, sometimes you’d be at his and sometimes he’d go to you. He had a designated space in his closet for your things when you’d spend the night and you had cleared out two drawers from your dresser so that he had clothes to wear when he came by.

Some of his hoodies were on hangers in your closet, your favorite pairs of fuzzy socks in his own sock drawer, his favorite black sweatpants in your laundry hamper, a little basket in his bathroom full of tampons and pads for when it was your time of the month, his preferred deodorant in your medicine cabinet, and so on and so forth.

You took his outbursts and attitude in stride, hardly ever taking it personal if he lashed out. Your feelings would be hurt sometimes but you knew that he always came back around and apologized to you. Bakugou likes when you speak your mind and stand your ground, he loves it when you challenge him but loves it even more when the two of you mutually agree on something. Contrary to what people might think about him, he was silly in his own way when it came to your relationship. Not purposefully but doing things that were just in his own typical fashion that it made you laugh.

A year and a half into your relationship with the explosion hero, the two of you were in your apartment and cuddling on the couch with a movie playing on your television. It’s raining outside, the raindrops pattering against the glass of your window. There’s a cup of hot chocolate sitting on your coffee table that Bakugou made for you at your request, you reach for it every so often to take a sip and always offer if he wants to try. He declines every single time until he gets annoyed enough that he says for you to stop pestering him. You mock his annoyed tone and kiss his cheek, giggling when he pinches your arm and tells you to just ‘watch the damn movie woman.’

It’s an action movie that the two of you were watching and it was at the final confrontation between the good guy and bad guy. The film cuts to the scenes involving the other cast to heighten the sense of drama, ultimately focusing on the protagonist and antagonist. They’re charging at each other, each roaring at one another with clenched fists and just as when they meet in the middle-

The power goes out.

The little nightlight thats plugged into the corner goes dark and the digital alarm that’s plugged underneath your tv stand no longer shows the time.

There’s a rumbling outside your window that catches your attention.

You go towards the window and peer out through the glass, watching the heavy rainfall from the haven inside your apartment. The sky is rumbling again and your breath is taken away when thunder booms out loud. Bakugou is at your kitchen, looking for the lighter so he can light the candles around your apartment, grumbling something under his breath but you can’t bring yourself to ask what he’s saying. You’re too fascinated by the weather outside at the moment.

The candles are lit around your apartment, the soft glow providing some illumination in your cozy space. Bakugou comes up behind you and watches the rain with you for a few seconds, his arms coming around your waist and pulling you flush against him. He thinks how warm and how good you feel against him, how you lean into his touch probably without knowing and that you looked so pretty staring out the window.

Bakugou’s hands wander, squeezing your waist and dropping down to grope your ass under the shirt you’re wearing, his shirt. It’s big on you and you’re wearing a thin pair of leggings along with it. He’s about to tell you to follow him to the bedroom, he’s interested in how many times he can make you cum until either the power comes back on or until you pass out from him fucking you too hard.

Instead you wiggle out of his grasp and look back at him, an excited smile on your face.

“You know what’s something I’ve always wanted to do?” you ask.

“What is it?” Bakugou asks back, hoping the answer is going to lead to you being naked in the bedroom.

You go around him and go towards the front door, putting on your flip flops because you can’t be bothered with wearing your regular shoes and then you’re out the door.

“(Name)! What the hell are you doing?” Bakugou asks, putting on his own shoes to chase after you. He can hear you climbing the stairwell and you’re telling him to catch up with you. “(Name), get back here!”

You push the door that exits out of the lobby to your apartment and you run out into the street. The rainfall is heavy and the thunder booms outside, but you stretch your arms out to the sky and scream in excitement as you hear the loud crack of thunder. You look out to Bakugou and tell him to come join you.

Bakugou stands under the awning where the entrance to the lobby is and he’s yelling at you to get out from the rain and join him. “(Name), you’re gonna catch a goddamn cold! Fucking get your ass back over here and back to your apartment!”

You’re shaking your head at him and that stupid smile of yours is still on your face. “Oh come on Katsuki! Haven’t you ever just stood under the rain just because? Or even ran through it before without an umbrella? It’s fun! The rain feels so good!”

“I’ve never stood under the rain ‘just because’ because I’m not an idiot! I’m serious, get over here now!”

“No, come here and kiss me!”

Bakugou blanches at the idea. “Come back to me right here and I’ll kiss you, you idiot.”

You shake your head again, insistent that he come to you. “Come kiss me in the rain Katsuki! It’s romantic! Everything is more romantic in the rain!”

“We’re not in a fucking romance movie, which you know that I hate! Now either get back here or you’re gonna be standing out there by yourself!”

You shrug your shoulders at him just smile at him; you know that Bakugou would never do that to you. He gets pissed off when you call his bluff and this just adds to the pile of memories you already have of similar moments. “Okay, I’ll see you back inside!”

“Goddamn it, get over here woman!”

“Kiss me in the rain like in the movies Katsuki!”

Bakugou sighs to himself, knowing that when you’re insistent on something that sometimes you won’t stop until you get what you want. Sometimes you could be just as stubborn as Bakugou himself, leading to the occasional argument. He knows that this time he’s just going to have to give in. So he steels himself, bracing for the rain that’s gonna soak him the second he steps out from the awning, and he goes straight to you.

He jogs his way over to you, you squeal as he catches you in a hug and he’s quick to give you what you’d been asking for, what you’ve been so insistent on.

Bakugou’s large hand holds the back of your head and cradles you while you have one hand at the nape of his neck and the other at his jawline. Your lips are cold against his and honestly his teeth are chattering from the cold but you wanted a kiss and goddamn it you were going to get it.

Bakugou Katsuki does not do things half assed.

So he imagines that he’s kissing you as if you’re in the bedroom and not in the street while it’s raining hard on the both of you. He kisses you hard, the type that tells you how badly he wants to fuck you without saying anything at all. It’s the type where he knows that by the time he pulls away, you’re breathless and flustered. And that’s what you are when he breaks apart from you and smirks down at you, suddenly so shy all of a sudden.

He pulled the two of you back to your apartment, dripping water the entire way from the lobby to your front door and to the bathroom. Bakugou lectured you about going out into the rain while putting candles in the bathroom and turning on the shower to heat up the water. You’re busy wringing out the water from both your clothes over the sink and half heartedly listening to his lecture.

But under the shower spray, your chest to his as you stand on your tip toes to kiss him, he’s more loving and affectionate until he commands you to get on your knees for him, his hand on the top of your head as you go down on him.

The power still hasn’t come on by night time but you managed to pass the time until it was time to sleep. But Bakugou could only think about how he watched you stand in the rain, how you insisted that he kissed you like in those stupid chick flicks you made him watch sometimes, and how stubborn you were until he gave you what you wanted.

Bakugou thought that if you fell in love with someone, you would know through some obvious, beautiful, or aesthetically pleasing grand moment with a bunch of sparkles that only one person could see. He couldn’t get the image of you out of his head, wet from the rain, the excitement on your face as you stood in the street and laughed in excitement at the thunder above you booming in the dark gray sky.

He knew on that day when you ran out to stand under the rain that he was in love with you.

Four years into your relationship with Bakugou, your separate spaces had finally joined into one. The two of you moved into a house after celebrating three years together and just a few months ago you celebrated both the one year mark having moved in together and and your four year anniversary. No more back and forth or having to coordinate who’s sleeping at which place tonight or having to be forced back at home because you need to do laundry at your own place.

Instead you wake up together, cook together, clean together, do bills together, and you fall asleep together.

Bakugou made you request a whole week off from work and he waited patiently until it got approved so that he could do the same.

“You heard I needed a vacation right? Where are you taking me Katsuki? Show me the plane tickets!”

“There are no plane tickets, woman.”

“Ooh okay… oh, I know! It’s a road trip! You’re going to take me to a cottage in the mountains! Oh… but knowing you, you’re gonna make me work for it like we have to go on a really long hike first before we get to the cottage.”

Damn, that was actually a good idea. He probably should have thought of that… No, no changing plans. He is absolutely set on what he’s going to do and where he’s going to do it.

No, he just simply wanted to stay at home with you. No needing to get up for work and wait for the other to come home or anything like that. For a whole seven days straight, you and Bakugou will do as you please without having to worry about the obligations of your jobs. You would need it anyway because he could imagine the two of you celebrating until you’d return to work with a surprise for all your coworkers.

The first day of your vacation together, the two of you just slept in even though Bakugou was not the sleeping in kind of person. With you though, he would happily be lazy for just a little bit. And by the time the two of you do actually wake up together, both of your bodies don’t leave the bed for a while. You fuck a good couple of times; you ride him, in missionary, on your side, in his lap, and back to riding him because goddamn he loves seeing you on top. Your room reeks of sex and sweat by the time you’re finished and you air it out as Bakugou prepares the shower.

By the time the both of you emerge from cleaning up and are back inside your room, you look out the window and comment on how gray the sky is. “I hear it’s supposed to rain all week. Good thing too, I’m way too lazy to water the plants outside.”

“Not like you really did it in the first place, I always have to do it for you.” Bakugou says as he walks behind you to get to his underwear drawer, but not before swatting your ass on the way and making you whine at him because your ass is already bruised and sore.

The second day, Katsuki lets you sleep in this time while he gets up to make breakfast. He’s checking the weather report on television and it’s exactly what you said. It’s going to be raining for the next few days, even past when your week off ends. It changes nothing in his plans for the week though and while he’s scrambling your eggs, he’s thinking of what’s going to be on the menu for dinner tomorrow.

Tomorrow… he thinks and he stops himself from smiling when he hears you come down the stairs.

“Katsuki? You making eggs? I can make some waffles, where’s the iron?” you ask when you come into the kitchen. You’re wearing one of his shirts again, panties coming into view when you stretch your arms above your head briefly and fuzzy socks on your feet. You walk behind him and you caress your fingers across his shoulders as you pass by.

It’s just meant to be a passing and loving gesture, but it stirs something inside Bakugou. He shuts off the gas to the stove and approaches you, whisking you towards the little kitchenette table and hoisting you on the surface of it before spreading your legs and sinking down to his knees. He feasts on you first, his head between your legs as you clutch onto his ash blonde hair and chant his name to the ceiling. The smell of eggs is still present in your kitchen but it’s not exactly a sexy smell when you and Bakugou fuck on the little kitchenette table.

You and Bakugou enjoy eggs and a warm bowl of oatmeal with a side of fruit afterwards, no waffles because you were too tired to make the batter.

The rain outside is on and off. When the rain takes a break, you go outside and to take in fresh air and inhale the smell of rain. Sometimes Bakugou joins you, but not without making you wear a sweater or at least put a blanket around your shoulders first. You talk about work, new recipes you were thinking about trying, an interesting article that you read not too long ago, and whatever else comes to mind. And when it rains, you scurry back inside and scroll through your phone until you get bored again.

It’s getting close to seven, and you and Bakugou are fucking… again.

This time on the couch while a random television sitcom plays in the background. The dialogue of the characters registers through your ears but you’re not paying attention to the banter nor the recorded tv laughter. Not while Bakugou is sensually moving his hips into you and you sigh when his hands hold your waist, lifting you up slightly to make you arch your back off the couch. It’s a slightly different angle in the way he holds you and how his cock fucks you that you can’t help but cry out loud to him. You clutch his strong shoulders and pull Bakugou down to you to kiss him.

Except Bakugou’s not in the mood to kiss you; instead he ducks his head down to bite at your neck. His canines bite down on the junction between your neck and shoulder, it’s a pleasant sting that cuts through the overwhelming pleasure that’s being given to you. In turn you drag your nails down his back slowly and you feel his chest rumble when he groans above you.

“Fuck baby…” you groan. “You fuck me so good…”

“Yeah? You like this cock?” Bakugou joins you in the dirty talk, not even trying to hide how prideful he is. He knows that he’s the best you’ve ever had, you’ve voiced it to him multiple times at this point in your relationship. “Tell me you like this cock, come on. Be good for me and tell you me how good this cock makes you feel.”

“I love this cock.” you declare to your boyfriend. You emphasize your statement by clenching around Bakugou’s cock right as he thrusts into you balls deep. “Never had dick this good until you came along Katsuki. I love getting on my knees for you so you can fuck my face, making me choke on that cock of yours.”

You decide to drive it home with the words that you know make him lose it ever single time.

“Tear me up Katsuki, fucking make me a wreck on that big cock.”

It does him in and he’s fucking you with so much vigor that the couch is scraping against the hardwood floor. He thrusts hard and fast into your pussy, practically animalistic and it makes you a mess beneath him. You’re gushing for him, practically soaking him and you know that it’s leaking onto the couch, you’ll find a wet spot for sure.

“God…! Fucking hell, I’m fucking cumming!” you cry out.

“Tell me you want me to cum in you, tell me you want me to cum in your pussy.” Bakugou grunts out, his hips are losing its rhythm but he’s fucking you so good you don’t register his command through your mind immediately; he’s fucking your brains out. He gives a firm slap to your cheek when you don’t comply right away. “Fucking say it!”

You cup his face with your hands and bring him down to look you in the eye. “Cum in me baby, please cum in me. Fucking flood this little pussy with your cum and fill me up! Cum in me, cum in me, cum in me-“

Bakugou thrusts hard into you one last time, a drawn out guttural groan from his throat that makes you quiver around him. His head is thrown back as he cums in you, his cock pulsing as he fills you up. Your eyes are drawn to a single drop of sweat rolling down his chest, firm pectorals that make your mouth water. You want him to stay inside you a little longer and you’re about to ask to cockwarm him for a while but the doorbell rings throughout the house.

“Shit, someone is here. Katsuki, get out of me.” you tell your boyfriend, trying to push him out of you. Instead he pushes deeper into you and you moan.

“Who gives a shit, leave them at the door.” Bakugou grunts.

The doorbell rings again along with a knock on the front door, accompanied by a familiar voice. “Bakubro! (Name)! You guys home?”

You sit up at the sound of Kirishima’s voice, panicking to fix yourself up so that you look presentable. “Katsuki! Kiri’s here! You need to get out of me!”

Bakugou rolls his eyes at you but pushes your legs up to your chest. “I’m gonna pull out so don’t spill a fucking drop.”

“Can you at least get a cum rag?”

“Fine, fine…”

Another knock on the door.

Your face heats up but Bakugou couldn’t care less.

“Give us a minute, Shitty Hair!”

“Alright!”

Bakugou pulls out and you clench the best you can to keep too much cum from spilling out. He’s quick to swipe his underwear off the floor and wipe down your pussy of the excess cum that’s spilled out of you. You ask if he wants you to get a new pair of underwear for him but he declines, going commando as he pulls on his favorite pair of black sweats and a black tank top. You scramble for your own clothes, hastily pulling on your panties and tugging your shirt over your head. “Don’t open the door yet!”

You quickly throw Bakugou’s soiled underwear into the laundry hamper, throw on some pajama bottoms and smooth down your hair the best you can. Bakugou is patiently waiting by the front door and waiting for your signal to let Kirishima in. You toss the throw blanket over the wet spot where you had cum on the couch, open the windows and light the scented candles to try to air out the smell of sex from the living room.

“Okay, we’re good.”

Bakugou opens the door and lets Kirishima in, walking straight into the living room where you sit too stiff on the couch.

“Don’t bother acting so stiff, pumpkin. Kirishima knows we just fucked.” Bakugou says as he makes his way to the kitchen, but not before moving the couch back into its rightful place.

Kirishima laughs sheepishly but has the good grace to not say anything.

Thankfully Bakugou directs everyone to sit at the kitchenette table and goes to make hot chocolate at your request. So you sit and chat with Kirishima, he’s catching you up with what’s been going on with him like new restaurants he’s tried and how his family is doing. You can’t help but notice how his eyes are drifting down to your hands that are resting on the surface of the table but decide to not comment on it, thinking that it’s nothing. You listen attentively but once you catch sight of Bakugou coming with two mugs, you turn excitedly to him and start making grabby hands towards the drinks.

He sets your mug down in front of you and tells you to wait a little bit since the drink is still hot. You thank him with a kiss to his cheek and notice how he topped your drink with whip cream but Kirishima’s is plain.

“Hey! (Name) gets whip cream on her hot chocolate but not me?” Kirishima complains, looking sadly at his own cup compared to yours. “I thought we were friends…”

“You want some?” Bakugou asks.

Kirishima nods enthusiastically, his eyes shining bright at how Bakugou is treating him like a decent friend for once!

“Go fucking get it yourself then Shitty Hair.”

Or not.

You giggle and offer to get it but Bakugou plants a hand on your shoulder and keeps you in your seat. You try to switch your mugs with Kirishima because you can see that he really wants whip cream on his hot chocolate but your boyfriend is quick to switch mugs again.

“Oi, only (Name) gets special treatment in this house. Drink your hot chocolate, you’re lucky you even got one in the first place.” Bakugou snaps as he plops down in the seat next to you. He was always sweet in his own way, even at his own friends expense sometimes. It felt nice to know that your boyfriend really did reserve certain treatments for you and it brought a smile to your face.

Leaning your head on Bakugou’s shoulder, you coo at him to embarrass him in front of Kirishima and he bares his teeth at you. “My boyfriend really does love me, don’t you see it Kiri?” you tease. You expect Kirishima to help in teasing Bakugou but when you look to him, he’s actually got tears in his eyes and a strained smile on his face. It gets you concerned and you ask what’s wrong.

“Nothing, it’s just… you and Bakugou are so good together. You’ve really changed his life and I can see you two being together forever. I’m happy that you guys make each other happy and I hope you guys-“ Kirishima starts to tearfully make a speech but is cut short. He yelps and the table bumps up briefly, surprising you and making you look at Bakugou. You know that he kicked Kirishima underneath the table but there’s a certain look in your boyfriend’s red eyes that stops you. It’s not his regular agitation but instead you can see that his eyes are threatening your red-haired friend without words.

Or maybe you’re just overthinking his expression.

Either way, Kirishima sheepishly laughs and apologizes, “Sorry for getting so cheesy on you (Name). I really did mean it though, when I said I can see you guys being together forever.”

You smile at Kirishima and snuggle against Bakugou’s side, humming when his strong arm comes around your shoulders and he pulls you close. “Aww Kiri, I love you so much for saying that. You definitely earned some whip cream for your hot chocolate!”

Bakugou lets you go to fetch the whip cream from the fridge and you don’t see how he makes a strangling motion towards Kirishima, who only mouths ‘sorry’ and straightens himself when you return with the whip cream canister.

Kirishima doesn’t stay long, an hour at the most, and you wave at him as he pulls out of your driveway. You ask him to text you when he gets back to his apartment so that you know that he made it back safely. The rain has stopped for now but you saw on the weather report that it was going to rain even harder tomorrow, even the possibility of a thunderstorm. But you stare out at the street, admiring the puddles of water on the concrete and thinking how good it is that the flower bushes at the front of your home are getting plenty of hydration. Bakugou calls you to get back inside the house and you obey without complaint.

Your third day of your week off doesn’t start off with sex surprisingly. You wake Bakugou up with a steamy make out, sitting in his lap as his hands go under your shirt but he actually restrains himself from going any further which surprises you. Usually Bakugou is rearing to go, if not at least getting or giving oral sex to tide him over. You ask why and he answers that he wants to save all his energy for his workout.

“You’re going to the gym?” you ask as he takes you off his lap and goes toward his side of the dresser.

“Just some calisthenics for today. Been doing too much cardio lately.” Bakugou smirks back at you before switching into workout gear. “Where’s my workout stuff again?”

“I moved them into the garage, next to the toolbox. You’ll see them.”

You stay in the bedroom and just stream tv shows on your phone, read the news and answer the occasional text message that you get. Every once in a while the whole house thumps and shakes, sometimes rhythmically before it stops and then starts again. It’s just Bakugou doing his home workout routine and as long as you don’t hear anything unusual and he airs out the room after he’s finished, that’s all that matters to you.

After an hour, you’re making the bed as Bakugou walks back into the bedroom. His shirt is off, hanging off his shoulder and he wipes the sweat from his brow. Your eyes wander down his firm and well developed body as he walks past you, thinking for a moment that you want to jump his bones but then think against it when you smell how sweaty he is, despite the slight sweet scent that comes along with it because of his quirk. You gag and tell him to hop his hot headed self into the shower while you fold the laundry.

The laundry is folded and put into their designated drawers by the time Bakugou is out of the shower. He’s put on a long sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans when he emerges into the living room. You’re sitting at the bay window and looking out again, commenting about when the thunderstorm is supposed to come. It’s been light showers so far, light enough that you can have the window open without Bakugou complaining to you about rain water coming into the house.

“Let’s go to the store.” Bakugou states as he comes up behind you.

Looking back at him, you blink up at your boyfriend curiously. As far as you can remember, there wasn’t anything in your kitchen that you were lacking in like your meats and vegetables. And you know that whenever Bakugou says that he’s going to the store, it’s certainly not for leisure. “What do we need to get? Paper towels? Detergent?”

“I just feel like getting ingredients to make something different for dinner tonight. Now come on, put your coat on and I already got your boots out from the closet.”

You throw on your raincoat and push your feet into your boots, going towards the garage where Bakugou is already waiting in the driver’s seat. The radio plays a station of the current trending hits with commercial breaks in between. The radio host gives an update on the traffic and weather report, encouraging all drivers on the road to be safe later on as the rainfall will get heavier as the day passes on. The rain has gotten a little heavier during the day but it’s not the storm that’s about to happen later on.

Bakugou grabs a cart as the two of you enter the grocery store. He’s walking through the aisles with intention, not looking at any other sections. But just because he’s not wandering through the store doesn’t mean that you are too, looking to see if might want to try some new snack or buy a new shampoo and conditioner set just because you’re curious about the smell. You convince him with a pout and a couple of kisses when you find a few things you want to try, dropping them into the cart and then heading towards checkout.

“Alright, we’re going to get home and we’re going straight to cooking.” Bakugou states as the two of you get into the car as soon as the groceries are in the trunk and the shopping cart is returned to the store.

“Huh? I thought you were cooking?” you asked as you pulled your seatbelt across your body.

Bakugou scoffs as he starts the car and drives out of the parking lot. “No, we’re cooking (Name). I’m not your goddamned personal chef.”

“But it’s your recipe, you’re just gonna yell at me if I don’t do something right. Remember the last time with the muffins?”

“Look, I won’t yell at you this time babe. Promise.”

“You really promise?”

Bakugou sticks out his pinky, keeping his other hand on the wheel and his eyes on the road.

“Okay, I’m trusting this pinky promise. You initiated it so that means you can’t break it, understand?”

“Yeah, yeah, just fucking cook with me. I’m not going to yell like last time.”

He makes good on his promise, keeping his temper in check as the two of you work with and around each other in the kitchen. You know that when you’re in the kitchen with Bakugou, things are going to be done his way and that there was hardly any room for argument. If you cooked, he stayed out of your way and vice versa. The food starts to come together and you comment on how good it smells, you’re ready to cook more but then you’re told to go wash up for dinner.

“Just get your ass to the shower and wash up. Everything will be ready and plated by the time you’re done… and don’t take too long! We didn’t work this hard just for the food to go cold.”

“We could-”

“Wash up, now.”

You fake pout at your boyfriend, lowering your head down and shuffle your feet in faux dejection. Bakugou swats your ass and you shriek playfully, doing as told by your loving boyfriend. You just do a quick rinse, just washing your body and face. You already washed your hair the other day anyway so you didn’t see the point of doing it too soon, though you did sniff it for good measure just to be sure. You towel yourself down and rub your favorite lotion into your skin, actually glad that Bakugou had ordered you to clean up a little because now you felt refreshed. You wear just a towel when you enter the bedroom and find a dress laid down on the surface of the bed, figuring that your boyfriend must have put it out for you.

It’s a dress that you bought a while back but never really got around to wearing it, so it just stayed hung up in your closet. It’s a little too nice to wear at home but not quite something you would wear out either. The style is almost like a babydoll, though there’s no lace and there’s nothing sheer about it, it’s almost like a plain dress except not… Gah why did you buy this thing in the first place?

You decide to shrug it off and hang the towel up to put on the dress, admiring the material against your skin. It looks nice on you as you admire it in the reflection of the mirror. Originally you were just gonna go downstairs with a naked face but after looking at yourself wearing the dress, you decide that you would put some make up on. Not a full face, just a bit blush on your cheeks, put on a bit of highlighter, maybe tweeze your brows a bit and put on a nice lipstick… wait, lipgloss… ah but you love this shade of lipstick… lipgloss?

Maybe a tinted chapstick to settle?

You make your decision because you remember that Bakugou told you not to take too long and you don’t want to experience his wrath.

Unless his wrath includes stuffing you with his cock.

Nah you’re hungry, you just want to eat.

You make your way to the living room with your phone in hand, looking down at some of your friend’s social media feeds. You’re about to show Bakugou a meme one of your friends just shared but when you look at the living room, your breath is taken away. The furniture is moved away further than usual, the coffee table that usually was the center of the room pushed to the nearby wall. Instead what lies in the center is the food that you and Bakugou cooked together, floor pillows to sit comfortably on, a bottle of wine with two glasses beside it, candles lit around the room and flower petals surrounding the arrangement. Hell, there’s even music playing from the record player you bought impulsively. Bakugou didn’t like it at first but he must be thinking differently since he’s using it now, choosing one of your smooth jazz vinyls that you thrifted.

Putting your phone up, you start recording the scene and comment on how romantic it was to stumble upon it. Bakugou emerges from the kitchen and frowns when you pan the camera up to him, flipping it off just as soon as you decide to zoom in on him. You stop recording and look over the video, smiling down at it. And just as you’re about to share it…

“Babe, do me a favor and just… don’t post that video okay? I don’t want anything to distract us.”

You supposed there was nothing wrong with his request but you did save the recorded video; you could post it later on or the next morning. So you set your phone on the pushed aside coffee table and approach Bakugou, his arms loosely coming around your waist and he kisses the top of your head. You can smell his cologne and vaguely think that you probably should have put on perfume instead of slapping on some scented lotion. “This is quite romantic of you Katsuki, you trying to seduce me or something?”

“I just want to have a nice meal with you.” he mutters, his hands squeezing your waist and smoothing down the back of your dress.

“The candles? You know that we can just turn on the lamps and it’s not even that dark out yet, it’s barely four in the afternoon.”

“It looks nicer with the candles, alright?”

“The flower petals… are those the ones from the bushes outside?”

“Yes, they are. Now sit down, I told you that we’re not going to eat this food cold.”

The promised heavy rainfall is just right outside your window but it adds a nice touch to your meal with your boyfriend, making the ambiance just a bit more romantic. The floor cushion is comfortable as you sit your bottom on the plush material, admiring the set up that Bakugou took his time to do. You sip from the wine glass he’s poured for you and himself, humming in delight when you try the food the two of you made together, and in between you just listen to the music. You and Bakugou make light conversation in between bites of your food or sips of wine when you hear the rumbling outside.

Your eyes are drawn to the window just as there is a boom of thunder outside.

“Wow, a thunderstorm.” you comment as you take a sip of your wine. “I don’t think the weather said anything about one today, just said that there was going to be a lot of rain.”

Bakugou hums in acknowledgement, polishing off his glass before he clears his throat to get your attention. “(Name), there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

You look over at your boyfriend, tilting your head to the side in question. “Sure, go ahead Katsuki.”

“I just… well, you know I love you and I know it took me a while to tell you. I just never told you about when I fell in love with you, when I knew that I loved you.”

A endeared smile comes onto your face and you give your attention to your boyfriend. Bakugou wasn’t the type to be into too much PDA or even grand gestures of love or adoration, even though he was quite vocal about other things like being the number one hero or just straight up threatening to kill villains (or even his own friends). So to exclusively be showered in his particular type of affection and to get special treatment that he never gave to others always brought a smile to your face. To be honest you had feared falling in love with Bakugou at first but you took a leap of faith and he had not only caught you, he’d been carrying you ever since.

“I remember thinking for a while when we were only a year into seeing other each that I might love you but I still wasn’t sure at the time. I just know that in the sea of fuck ass idiots out there that we found each other and that I wanted to keep you around me more than anybody else I had ever met. You were that annoying extra my friend introduced me to who became my annoying friend and then you eventually became my not-as-annoying-as-I-thought girlfriend. I fucking liked you a lot but I knew I loved you when-”

There’s a large boom of thunder outside your house, so loud that you even feel it inside the house.

You look back at where a digital clock is plugged in by the television, seeing that it’s dark and not displaying the time.

“Power is out.” you state. “Wonder if it’s going to come back on anytime soon.”

“Hm… actually, this reminds me of when you ran out that one time into the rain. Kept on asking me to kiss you like in those stupid romance movies you like.” Bakugou reminds you, his fingers tapping on his knee but you’ve yet to notice the usual action from him.

“Yeah… you’re right.”

“You remember that day?”

“Yup, I do. In fact…” you stand up from the floor pillow and grin down at your boyfriend. “Let’s recreate the memory.”

You’re dashing out the door before Bakugou could even stand up from his own pillow.

“Fucking damn it, (Name)!”

You rush out the front door without even wearing any shoes and stand in the street, arms out to the sky just as thunder cracks above you. Bakugou’s breath is taken away as he looks at you from the porch of your home, reliving the memory of that day he knew one hundred percent that he was in love with you. You even have that same exact smile on your face and wave to him to come to you and to kiss you just like that day.

He looks at you and he’s about to tell you to come to him instead. Yet as he looks at you and is reminded of that day you first ran out into the rain, he thinks instead that this is fate. So just like that same day, he braces himself for the rainfall as he jogs out to join you in the rain. He approaches and stands right in front of you, his body already shivering but he ignores it because damn it he needs to do this!

“(Name), that day that you ran out to stand in the rain like an idiot… I knew that I loved you. And I mean actually fucking one hundred percent knew.” Bakugou starts speaking, memorizing every detail on your face and the exact expressions you make because he wants to get every detail right for when he tells his future kids this story when they ask, the kids that he knows that he’s going to have with you. He won’t half ass telling the story about this moment in the future because it’s one the most important events that’s going to happen in his life, better than getting his Hero license, better than when he broke into the Top Ten Hero rankings and he knows that it will still be the best thing to happen to him when he finally achieves his dream of being the Number One Hero.

Nothing could top this moment.

You’re looking up at him, so awestruck that Bakugou wonders if you know that you look at him with so much love the way he does with you. “Katsuki… I-”

“Let me finish woman. I never doubted loving you. Not once, not even during our worst and shittiest fights or when we would ignore each other because we were so pissed off. And well, fucking shit, I was hoping to do this inside where it’s dry and I spent all that time planning and making the living room look like straight out of your stupid chick flicks but I guess you said that everything is more romantic in the rain so…”

Bakugou reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little blue, velvet box in the palm of his hand.

Your breath shudders and it’s not because your body is cold from standing outside. Your eyes look into red ones before looking back down at the box, putting your hands over the box as a shield from the rain to keep it, and what you know is inside, from getting wet.

Bakugou drops down to one knee and your hands still hover over the box as he opens it, revealing the diamond ring inside.

“(Name), marry me.”

Your voice is caught in your throat at first, your mouth opening and closing in surprise. You bite your bottom lip as tears of happiness slip from your cheeks, not that Bakugou would be able to discern your tears from the rain also falling onto your face. So you shakily nod your head and try to get your voice to work because you know that he needs to hear it too.

“Yes! Yes! I’m going to marry you!” you finally say as the happiest smile comes onto your face. “I’m going to marry the fuck out of you Bakugou Katsuki!”

You wonder if your neighbors can hear what just happened or if any of them happen to be peering out the windows to see the crazy couple standing outside in the middle of a thunderstorm. But who cares if they think you’re crazy, who cares if any of them were watching or if no one saw at all!

Bakugou just asked to marry you!

You had never felt this giddy before in your life!

Bakugou slips the ring onto your finger and you gasp down at it; it looked beautiful inside it’s box but even more so on your ring finger. You laugh in excitement looking at the ring before jumping into your boyfriend’s… fiancé’s arms. He swings you around briefly and he holds you tight, your arms coming around his neck and hugging him back. He pumps a fist in the air as if this was the biggest win in his entire life, hell it is the biggest win in his entire life!

“She fucking said yes! She said yes! (Name)’s my fucking fiancée!” he cheered.

You pull back to smile at Bakugou and jump in happiness in his arms. “I’m going to marry you Katsuki!”

“Fuck yeah you are baby.” Bakugou affirms with that cocky smirk of his before cupping your face in his large hands and kissing you. It’s a tender kiss at first, the most gentle and heartwarming kiss he’s ever given to you so much so that your heart skips a beat. But tender and sweet shifts into passionate and heated, kissing each other with more need than ever before in your entire relationship. His hands are groping you and you want to tug his shirt off, but the boom of thunder reminds you where you are so the two of you rush back inside the safety of your home.

There’s a water trail from the front door through your bedroom to your en suite. Bakugou is prepping the bath and placing candles around it while you wring out the water from his clothes and yours over the sink. The water sloshes in the tub as you sit in his lap, his hands holding your hips as you fuck yourself on his cock. Red eyes are drawn to your left hand as you touch yourself before him, his eyes set on the glittering diamond that sits on your left ring finger. Bakugou reaches forward to squeeze your breasts in his large hands, groaning as you put your own hands over his and grind your hips against his own.

He can’t stop looking at the ring, not even noticing at first when the power comes back on inside the house.

But he can’t help staring at you and how happy you are, smiling at the engagement ring as you sit in the living room with him. The furniture is put back into place, the food put into containers, the wine put away, dishes cleaned, and the living room is back to what it was. The both of you are dry, in clean clothes sitting on the couch, and watching television together. Well the tv show is more or less playing for background noise; Bakugou is watching you as you stare happily at your engagement ring.

“How long have you been planning this?” you ask when you finally put your hand down and look at Bakugou.

“Was thinking about asking for a good couple of months, just wanted to find the right time to do it.” he answered as he put his arm around your shoulder to pull you close to him.

“So… does that mean that you were literally waiting for the weather report to see if we were gonna have a thunderstorm to propose?”

Bakugou says nothing.

“Oh my god! Katsuki, you are a romantic!”

He scoffs and playfully pushes your head away from him. “No I’m not. Just because I was planning to propose to you centered around the memory of when I fell in love with you and waiting around for the weather to recreate the memory doesn’t make me a romantic.”

“… Yeah, you’re right. It just means you love me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

You relax into his arms for a few second before realizing something. “Wait, so when Kiri came by and was getting all emotional, talking about how he sees us being together forever…?”

Bakugou rolls his eyes and combs a hand through his hair. “He knew that I was planning on proposing this week, I just didn’t tell him when. Stupid fucker started spouting all that shit, I thought he was going to spoil the proposal. I would have gladly murdered him if that’s what it would take to have kept it a surprise from you.”

It made sense now why Kirishima was acting the way he was and how he kept on looking down at your hands when he came by to visit. He was in anticipation of his best friend proposing to you. What a sweetheart, you definitely would have to give him a cake or something sweet in return for believing in you and Bakugou; he was the one who introduced the two of you after all.

You wanted to tell everyone you knew the good news, but at the same time once it was out, everyone would be in your business and questioning the wedding plans you’ve yet to make. What kind of wedding you’d have, the dress you wanted, the flowers, the food, all that other wedding stuff. You’d just surprise everyone once they saw you the next time, just some peace before the excitement of the news dropped on everyone.

In the meantime, you and Bakugou would sit at the windowsill and look at the rain together. And any other time it rains hard or there’s thunder in the sky, you’d always remember the most romantic gesture Bakugou had ever done for you… even if he still insisted that he wasn’t a romantic.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou fluff #bakugou smut #bakugou katsuki #bnha x reader #bnha #bakugou katsuki x reader

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breakyeol · 4 years ago

Text

— SQUIRM, BABY.

You don’t like Doh Kyungsoo. Especially not when he’s got his fingers buried knuckle deep inside of you and your seeing stars —goddamn stars!— but can’t make a sound unless you want the entire library to know exactly what he’s doing to you under the table.

┗ Pairing: Tutor!Kyungsoo x Reader

Genre: college au, tutor au, enemies w benefits au, smut

Words: 4.7k

Rating: 18+

Warnings: strong language, sexual acts in a public setting, fingering

A/N; tomorrow is going to be my 1 year anniversary as an EXO-L!! oh my goodness that feels so crazy, time really flies. so here is a little present from me to you, enjoy lovelies!!

“These are all wrong,” Kyungsoo mutters blankly, “start over.”

A loud groan is ripped from your throat, the sound earning you more than a few sideways glares from the surrounding tables but you can’t really bring yourself to care. You’ve been here for two hours, studying one of the most intolerable subjects in the world: Calculus. The mere mention of its name made you shiver in disgust.

To be blunt, you’d always been shit at math. Numbers and equations were never your strong suit, not in high school and definitely not now with the added complexities of derivatives and differential equations (neither of which made even the slightest bit of sense to you). You much preferred the gentleness of literature and history to the strict logic and rules of mathematics and science. Unfortunately for you, the latter subjects were just as vital a part of your education, and opting out of them was not an option.

“Can’t we take a break?” You almost whine the question, pressing your fingers into your throbbing temples. “My brain feels like it’s going to explode.”

“No.”

You scowl at the bluntness of his rejection. “I’m paying you.” You point out, stabbing a finger into his bicep for emphasis. “Shouldn’t I have a say in when we take a break?”

He rolls his eyes, swatting your hand away and shoving the paper back in your direction. “I’m giving you your money’s worth. Do it again.”

You let out a noisy huff of air, slouching over dramatically in the stiff plastic chair until your chin is pressed against the cold table. “I hope you know I am deeply regretting some of my life decisions right about now.” You grumble, shooting him an icy glare that you hope conveys the absolute loathing you feel for both him and the set of problems laid before you.

“I thought that was a daily thing for you.”

Scoffing, you bury your mouth in the thick sleeve of your hoodie. “Your face is a daily thing for me.”

He doesn’t even bother to look at you, though you could almost feel the intensity of his deadpan. “I think that was the shittiest comeback I’ve ever heard.”

“Your face is the shittiest comeback I’ve ever heard.”

“You do realize that that makes absolutely no sense.”

“Your fa—”

“Shut up and do your work.”

He either doesn’t hear or consciously chooses to ignore the colorful array of curses you grumble spitefully in his direction, though simultaneously resigning yourself to the fact that you won’t be able to put off your work inevitably. Kyungsoo was a stickler for proper time management. If he had an agenda set in place for your tutoring session (which he always did), then you better believe he’d be checking off each item within its designated time frame. And if you don’t cooperate— well then, your best bet is to pray that there isn’t a mechanical pencil within his reach.

He might not always be able to reach the top shelf, but Kyungsoo had ways of getting what he wanted. Usually, that chilling glare was enough to get those around him to bend to his will. He could be a scary little shit when he wanted to be. You’ll admit, even you had been the tiniest bit intimidated when you first met him. He was quiet, reserved, strict in manner, but also the dangerous unpredictable type, you gathered that much quickly enough. Maybe that’s why the two of you didn’t get on too well.

Where he was cool and standoffish, “a man of few words” some might say, you were more vocal about your opinions, social by nature, always eager to meet new people and make new connections. You had a tendency to speak loudly when excited and talk with your hands when passionate about a subject. That was something most people learned about you very quickly. Unfortunately, upon your first official meeting at a party in your freshman year with your mutual friends, Kyungsoo had no idea just how emphatic you could be until you’d knocked his drink clean out of his hand and spilled it down the front of his brand new shirt.

It was an accident, of course. You’d apologized profusely and he’d accepted it (albeit somewhat begrudgingly), but that was probably the first of many missteps in your... unique relationship.

With such conflicting personalities, it was understandable that you got into frequent arguments about one thing or another. Petty disagreements would often grow into something larger than they really needed to be. Mostly because despite having such contrasting personalities, you shared the trait of innate stubbornness, neither of you willing to admit when you were wrong. It was easy to argue with him, and you liked when you proved him wrong. You liked the way his brows furrowed and his cheeks flushed. You liked the way he glared, the way his lips pouted. You like the challenge he presented you with every time he opened his mouth. Above, you loved to win. Especially when it was against him.

So you pushed, and he pushed right back. And before you knew it, you found yourself a proper ‘frenemy’, though you aren’t sure that that’s quite the right word to describe whatever it was you two were.

But that’s just how the two of you are, how you’d always been. If you were being honest, riling him, seeing that usually so stoic, so controlled expression crack when you pushed just the right buttons— it was fun. You thoroughly enjoyed fucking with him, discovering new and creative ways to get under his skin. And you knew he got just as much satisfaction from doing the same to you, rendering you speechless with witty comebacks, flustering you with his sharp tongue and impressive rebukes.

So really, was it such a terrible thing?

Not to mention, a number of not-so-terrible things occurred as a result of one of your many arguments, such as hiring him as your calculus tutor. One that started out with you claiming he would probably be the shittiest teacher to ever exist (which seemed a valid argument at the time considering how short tempered and impatient he could be *cough* with you *cough*) to which he rebutted with the claim that he could “teach a goldfish advanced calculus” if he set his mind to it, and considering that you “had an IQ equivalent to one”, he could without a doubt teach you. His words, obviously.

It just so happened that you had a calculus exam coming up that next week, so to prove his point, he tutored you for the three days preceding said test. Even though you loathe being proven wrong, you ended up getting one of the highest scores you’d ever gotten on a math test in your entire academic career.

Putting your pride aside, you made the suggestion that he continue to tutor you. He only agreed when you offered him green in exchange for his troubles and admitted that he was right (it took a few extra hours to convince yourself that your grades should be held above your ego before you could bring yourself to verbally admit defeat).

And now here you are, not flunking out of calculus. You’d consider that worthy of the bruise to your pride, even if only by a small margin.

“Kyungsoo, why’d you mark this one wrong?” You frown at the large red X marking problem two as incorrect. You’d been glaring at your scribbled work for almost two minutes, running over the problem in your head, but you couldn’t seem to figure out where he thought you’d gone wrong. It looks right enough to you.

Kyungsoo shifts over to get a better look, his arms pressing against yours in the process and you are briefly stunned by the sudden, unexpected closeness, wholly unable to stop yourself from noticing the faint, woody scent of his aftershave that caresses your senses. Fuck. You can’t tell if you hate or love the fact that he smelled so good. Partly love it because good hygiene is always something to admire in a man (even if that man was Doh Kyungsoo), partly hate it because dammit it’s Doh Kyungsoo and you loathe finding anything that has to do with him attractive. Plus, it’s distracting. You’re here trying to learn and he has the audacity to go around smelling like pine trees and fresh moss after a rainfall. Unfair.

“Right here.”

The scowl you don’t realize you’re wearing immediately drops away as the low baritone of his voice thrums through the cavity of your ribcage and you lean forward to see exactly what he’s pointing at.

“You multiplied straight through instead of distributing.” He explains further upon seeing the uncertainty on your face. A few seconds of further inspection and you finally see what he’s talking about.

“Fuck,” you hiss, “I’m so stupid.”

“It’s an easy mistake to make.” He reassures.

“Yeah, but I should know that by now, I should’ve—” you turn your head, only to nearly choke on air as you discover that any space that once existed between the two of you has virtually disappeared, “... seen it.”

He’s close, so close that you can feel the cool rush of his breath against your skin as he exhales, goosebumps bristling across your arms in response. He’s close. Too close. You can’t think straight, can’t even breathe. The moment that surrounds you feels fragile, like even the slightest disruption would rupture it completely.

Frozen, you can only swallow around the sudden dryness of your mouth as your treacherous eyes drop to trace the plush line of his lips. Who even has lips like that? They’re just so big and so pink, that dark, kissable kind of pink that every girl just wishes her lips could be. You, included. They look soft, and you can’t help but to wonder if they’d still taste like the strawberry bubblegum he’d been chewing on at the beginning of your tutoring session.

“Careful, ___.” The sound of Kyungsoo’s voice, raspier than you recall it being before and laced in a faintly taunting pitch, is enough to break you from your trance and, once freed, you whip your head around fast enough to give yourself whiplash.

“Fuck off.” You cough, jaw clenching as you attempt to drag your mind out from the gutter and back onto the calculus problems you have yet to correct. But for whatever reason your brain refuses to cooperate, instead filling your head with images of his pretty mouth and everything it could be doing instead of rambling on about something as uninteresting as calculus. Damnit.

No doubt seeing the distress written clearly across your face, Kyungsoo chuckles, the sound low and smooth where it drips from his lips, and a familiar heat blossoms in the pit of your stomach.

You can feel his eyes on you now, every cell of your being suddenly hyperaware of his presence beside you. The pressure of his knee where it nudges against yours, the teasing curl of his lips as he watches you struggle to focus, the warmth of his palm caressing up your thigh, the— wait what?

Your gaze whips down, breath hitching at the sight of Kyungsoo’s hand gently gripping the lagging clad flesh just above your knee. It’s another few seconds before you’re able to find your voice again.

“W– What’re you—?”

“Focus.” He cuts you off smoothly, fingers soothing over the inside of your leg, squeezing gently. When you don’t look away from him, he smirks, jerking his chin forward in a manner you can only interpret as challenging. There’s a familiar glint in his eye, a dangerous glint that doesn’t fail to provoke your competitive side. You know that look well. He’s challenging you.

And you don’t back down from a challenge.

Especially not from Doh Kyungsoo.

Determination flairs up inside of you, your jaw clenching as you strike him with a single, heated glare that read plain and simple ‘you. are. on.’ before honing all your attention onto the worksheet in front of you. It’s not too difficult to focus at first, to disregard the tingles that erupt across your skin where his hot touch sears into it. You manage to find and correct your error in one of the problems (impressive for you even if Kyungsoo wasn’t feeling your leg up under the table).

But whatever pride you find in doing so is quickly quelled when his hand suddenly shifts higher, and you feel the faintest pressure against your heat. It’s a sensation that robs you of your ability to breathe entirely for a handful of seconds, and you can’t stop the shiver that ripples down your spine.

This, you see, is one of the more recent developments in your oh-so complicated relationship with Doh Kyungsoo. Yet another that began with a disagreement at a party, over something you can’t even remember anymore thanks to the haze of alcohol that clouded both your minds at the time, that spiraled way out of proportion. You remember yelling at him, insulting him, stabbing your finger into his chest, feeling the sting of his lethal glare. God, he’d looked so pissed off, and you just fed off of it, fed off the rage and the frustration that festered like lava in those dark brown eyes. The angrier he got, the harder you pushed, until he finally snapped.

You’re still not sure what you expected to happen. What you expected him to do. But you sure as hell hadn’t anticipated him grabbing you by the throat and pulling you into one of the hottest, most mind numbing kisses you’d ever experienced.

Next thing you remember is being in a bed. Whose bed it was, isn’t important. What is important, however, is the fact that that night you had the best sex of your entire life with the man you thought you couldn’t stand.

Hate sex with Doh Kyungsoo opened your eyes to a whole new world of mind boggling pleasure that you’d never experienced before. Pleasure that no other person had ever been able to give you. God, the things he did to you. No one had ever touched you like that before. It was like he knew all the places on your body that made you unravel. He honestly ruined all other men for you that night because none have even come close to comparing. Which was beyond frustrating especially considering that, at the time, you thought it was a one time thing.

The morning after you both pretended that nothing happened. In the two weeks following as well, neither one of you mentioned it. You tried to erase the memory from your brain, tried to go back to normal, but it was hard considering every time you needed some sexual release (which was more often than you care to admit), it was his hands, his mouth, his cock that you imagined while you touched yourself. You replayed his moans in your head, his deep, rasping voice growling your name, and fuck, you never came harder.

But it was still nothing compared to the real thing.

As time passed you only grew more and more frustrated. Worst of all, you could tell he was feeling it too. It was obvious in the way he looked at you, with fire burning in eyes, in the way he spoke to you, with a pitch of something hot and wanting in his voice, in the way he lost his cool far quicker and far more often than he had in the past, your arguments fiercer and more frequent than they’d ever been. The tension between the two of you was palpable, thick enough to be cut with a knife. It got to the point where even your most oblivious of friends started noticing it as well, though they knew better than to voice their curiosity.

The second time it happened, you were both sober and, somehow, it was even better than you remembered. The pleasure was more intense, more overwhelming, a feeling you can’t even put into words. Then it kept happening. Late at night when he’d show up unannounced at your door. Early in the morning when you had an important exam later in the day and you needed some pre-test de-stressing. Between classes in the back seat of his car just because you could. At parties when your friends were too shit faced to notice the two of you slipping into an unoccupied bedroom.

Just sex. That’s what you both agreed to when it became blatantly obvious that your little ‘arrangement’ wouldn’t be coming to an end any time soon. No strings. Just sex. Just really, really good sex.

And that was perfectly fine by you.

Exhaling shakily through your nose, you try to block out the feeling of his thumb as it begins to caress gently up and down your clothed core, suddenly very grateful for the layers of fabric that separate you from his intoxicating touch. But it’s a gratitude that’s short lived. Just as you manage to adjust and scribble down a correction, he cups his hand over your mound and squeezes. A gasp escapes you, and you try to cover up the sound with a series of short coughs, the sting embarrassment intertwining with the warmth of pleasure as a few eyes briefly glance in your direction.

“You’re such an asshole.” You hiss under your breath, thighs tightening around his hand, locking it in place.

He throws you a lopsided grin, brows lifting and you don’t miss the glimmer of amusement in his eyes. “I’ve been called worse.” What he means is you’ve called him worse.

Your lips part, but any intelligible words die on the tip of your tongue as he grinds the heel of his palm down, directly against your clit. Your head drops, eyes squeezing shut, teeth locking down firmly on your lower lip in order to silence the soft moan that threatens to break free.

“F- fuck.”

You hear him coo tauntingly beside you at your slip, the tips of his skilled fingers easily locating your entrance and prodding experimentally. At this point, you don’t doubt he can feel the fabric of your leggings growing hot and wet with your arousal.

Despite being used to the quick effect he had on your body, you can help but to feel the slightest twinge of shame at how he was able to rile you up this much with little more than a few well-placed strokes of his fingers. But fuck, it felt so good. You’d already been feeling somewhat deprived since you’d both been so busy this past week with exams and projects and what not. This is the first time you’re spending time with him since almost a week ago.

And you are in need of a fix.

“You look like you’re having a bit of trouble on that problem. Do you need my help?” Kyungsoo leans into you, his face right up next to yours, and you have to resist the sudden urge to kiss him right then in there in front of everyone in the stupid library.

Instead, you grit out an unconvincing, “I’m fine,” and force yourself to stay focused on the dizzying mess of numbers and letters on the worksheet in front of you and not on the delicious warmth of his hand where it is applying just the right amount of pressure to keep you teetering between pleasure and the insatiable need for more.

“You sure?” There’s a certain lightness to his voice that tells you he is thoroughly enjoying watching you struggle. Sadistic bastard.

“Positive.”

And just like that, he’s gone. You almost gasp as a rush of cold air fills the places he had been, and you can’t help the frown that tugs at the corners of your lips, disappointment and irritation coloring your features before you can reel them in. From the corner of your eye, you chance a glance in his direction. The smug, knowing little smirk staining his lips sends a wave of heat pulsing into your cheeks, and you grit your teeth in frustration.

“So what, you’re just going to stop?” You whisper sharply, not making any attempt whatsoever to hide your annoyance.

A look of feigned innocence overcomes his features. “You said you didn’t need my help.”

You grit your teeth, glaring at him as hard as you can manage with how incredibly turned on you are. But he remains unfazed.

“If you want my help,” he continues, voice dropping an entire octave, “you’re going to have to ask for it... nicely.”

Nice wasn’t a word in your vocabulary when Kyungsoo was involved.

Seeing the resistance you are still putting up, he feathers his fingers over your thigh, tracing slow designs across the thin, black fabric. You swallow, unable to look away as they trail dangerously higher, teasing closer to where you both knew you wanted them most.

“You do want it, don’t you?”

Fuck, you want it so bad.

You know that he knows you want it. It’s just the getting yourself to actually say it out loud part that proves to be a challenge. But that’s exactly what he wants you to do, he wants to hear you say it, wants to see you cast aside your stubborn pride and beg for it. Beg for him.

Lifting your eyes, you glance unsurely around the library. It isn’t overly crowded anymore since most of the other students have begun to trickle out as late afternoon approaches. Plus, the table you were seated at was tucked into the far back corner of the room, secluded and out of the way. But still, your nerves buzzed at the thought of someone seeing. Though maybe — just maybe — there was a buzz of something else as well. Excitement, perhaps?

Grip tightening around your pencil, you chewed on the corner of your lip, refusing to meet Kyungsoo’s penetrating gaze as you let out a soft murmur. “...ease.”

He leans closer, mirth shimmering in his eyes. “What was that? I couldn’t quite hear you.”

Groaning, you shoot him a scowl, shoulders slumping in defeat. “Please help me, asshole.”

Laughter bubbles at his lips, the genuine kind that makes his cheeks lift and his nose wrinkle. You like it when he laughs like that. Makes him look a lot less like a serial killer.

Sinking his teeth into the pillowy flesh of his lower lip to stifle his laughter, he shoots you a lazy grin, “that’s all you had to say.”

Next thing you know, his hand is slipping beneath the elastic of your leggings and into the soft cotton confines of your underwear. Your mouth fell open, a sharp inhale filling your lungs with cold air as his fingers slid through your slick folds.

“I knew you were wet but shit.” He hisses, thick brows furrowing at the feeling of your heavy arousal coating the length of his digits. “I must say, I’m flattered.”

“Don’t be,” you breathe, eyes fluttering, “even Chanyeol can get me this— ngh!”

Without warning, he plunges his middle finger inside of you, and the remainder of your sentence pitches into a strangled moan. One look at his face, jaw clenched, nostrils flared, lips down turned, tells you he isn’t all too pleased at the mention of another man’s name, especially when he’s the one buried knuckle deep in your greedy cunt.

A hazy smirk curls onto your lips and you let out a low hum of pleasure, walls squeezing around him. “You’re sexy when you’re mad.”

“Is that why you enjoy pissing me off so much?” He questions, tone biting and low, and you shutter involuntarily as he rolls the pad of his thumb harshly over your aching clit.

“Partly.” You admit, somewhat breathless. “But you’re also just a really fun person to piss off.”

He chuckles dryly in response, though the sound lacks any genuine amusement. “You are such a brat, you know that?” He emphasizes the word by stretching you around a second finger, and you have to drop your pencil in favor of clasping your hand over your mouth, unable to swallow down the soft whimpers that tremble up your throat.

“You love it.” You manage to get out before you’re forced to bite into the tender flesh of your palm to muffle a desperate cry when the slow thrusts of his digits suddenly picks up speed. Your thighs squeeze around his hand, hips jerking up to grind your throbbing clit against the heel of his palm. Electricity ricochets through your veins, and you feel that distinctive tightening in the pit of your stomach. Kyungsoo also feels the way you throb and clench around him, and makes sure to grind down hard against your swollen clit.

Heat immediately spreads through your core, the intensity of the pleasure becoming more than you can handle. “Oh god, Kyungsoo.” Your voice comes out louder than you intended, and you quickly duck your head, doing your best to make it seem like you’re focusing on your work and not the fingers drilling relentlessly into your g-spot, praying to god that no one had seen the blissed out expression on your face. Still, you can’t help the quiet whine that escapes you when his ministrations slow.

“Are you trying to get us caught?” He asks in less than a whisper, breath hot against the shell of your ear. “Ever hear of subtlety?”

“Ever hear of suck my dick?” You snap back without missing a beat, only to jolt as his fingers curl inside of you, pressing directly against that sensitive bundle of nerves. Every muscle in your body tenses, and fuck you’re so close you can almost taste it. Frantically, you thrust your hips, desperately trying to fuck yourself down on his digits.

“Sit still.” He growls, and you quiver when he sinks his teeth into the lobe of your ear, obeying only because you really don’t want to get banned from the campus library if someone happened to catch on.

“Soo— fuck,” the force with which you bite into your lip is nearly about to break the skin, but you can’t be bothered by the pain, not with how quickly your orgasm was approaching. Sensing as much, Kyungsoo goes the extra mile of drawing hard, fast figure eights over your clit with his thumb while simultaneously thrusting his fingers into you so fast that you swear you can almost hear it.

All at once fire roars through your veins, euphoria consuming you as your high crashes over you. Your walls spasm around his digits, painting them with your release.

He doesn’t withdraw from you until you go slack, thighs spreading, body slumping back in your chair, eyes fluttering as a hazy, blissed out smile touches your lips. You can only watch through hooded lids as he brings his glistening fingers to his mouth, sighing in amazement as he sucks them clean. There’s a twinge of arousal in your core as he moans softly at the taste of you on his tongue, a downright lethal sound that somehow manages to rouse your positively spent pussy.

This man is going to be the absolute death of you one of these days.

“Fuck.” You chuckle airily, heady gaze flickered over him lazily, only to do a double take when you notice something standing upright beneath the zipper of his jeans. The corners of your lips twirled into a mirthful grin, eyebrows raising slowly.

“Need some help with that?”

“Yes.” He answers shamelessly and without hesitation, grunting softly as he adjusts himself in the tight confines of his jeans to make the raging hard-on he’s sporting somewhat less obvious. “But not here.”

“I figured. So... your car or mine?”

“Didn’t you just get a new one with reclining seats?” He questions, running the tip of his tongue over the seam of his lip at the mere implication.

You strike him with a wicked grin, already beginning to shove your things into your bag. “I did indeed.”

“Then what are we— wait.”

“What?”

“You didn’t finish correcting the worksheet yet.” He points out, drumming his fingers across the paper that had completely slipped your mind.

You pull a face, pausing in the act of gathering your belongings long enough to cross your arms pointedly over your chest. “No offense, Kyungsoo, sweetheart, but I’d much rather suck your dick than do one more of those stupid fucking calc problems.”

His brows leap to his hairline, and he offers a single nod of acceptance, in no position to argue with such a valid point.

“Noted.”

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tyrantisterror · 3 years ago

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The ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D: Entry Roundup

You’ve been patiently waiting for the results of the ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D, and now... you have to wait a bit longer, but at least you’ve got an entry roundup with lots of sketches and a good bit of feedback for all the entrants! My goal is to get the finalists illustrated in a week or two, and after that, the grand prize winner will be announced. But, for now, the official entry roundup! After the cut:

I should note that while I sketched these in the order they were submitted, my scanner saved the documents with random names, so they’re a bit jumbled. You know, just in case you’re like me and would get confused noticing that it’s almost in chronological order but with some entries jumbled around.

@bugcthulhu’s Obsideban was designed as a counterpart to Rohobaron - the Black King to Rohobaron’s Red King, if you will. Or, well, Black Queen in this case, as Obsideban also takes her personality from the “delinquent girl” archetype in Japanese media. Bug’s designs always ooze personality, and I had a lot of fun translating this big, gnarly retrosaur into my own style.

@toothlessloveshiccup‘s Argonox is the first - but far from the last - monster in this breakdown that brings in a bit of fantasy influence to ATOM’s roster. A golden-fleeced ram with a vicious streak, this sheep is both treasure and dragon at once. And while it wasn’t written in the monster’s profile, given the Yamaneon-rich nature of its wool, Argonox might be able to replicate the healing power of the golden fleece too! A very fun mammalian kaiju and excellent entry.

@highly-radioactive-nerd submitted Gunmetal Jeeves, a robot butler who can gigantomax temporarily create a holographic/hard light version of himself to fight kaiju. That detail was a late revision added to the entry before the contest’s deadline, made after the creator realized that ATOM allows for some truly ludicrous bullshit, which is something everyone should exploit when making entries for this in my opinion. Also, this is a robot butler who can size shift. Revel in its awesome absurdity!

Ultranerd submitted Rajasaurus, a dimetrodon-like synapsid kaiju with electric powers. His origin specifies that the electric powers are a result of the volatile nature of the Yamaneon deposits he mutated under, which is an interesting idea. That’s another theme that cropped up a lot in this contest’s entries, actually - people really wanted to play with what Yamaneon can do.

Case in point, @polygonfighter’s Yamaneolith takes the Monolith Monsters homage at the heart of Yamaneon even more apparent. I like the implication that there is a second mineral-based lifeform at the root of this Yamaneon cluster’s anomalous behavior - a parasite, perhaps? It brings up some interesting possibilities.

@ariccio50 submitted Kukulkuzana, and damn is this a cool spin on the body plan of my martians. I made a few changes here and there (splitting its tail into two is probably the biggest one), but tried to keep true to the original design, because holy hell is it gorgeous. The idea that this is a mountain-dwelling creature is really intriguing to me, as it looks like a sea creature, but at the same time, that flexible and low-slung build WOULD work pretty well in mountains, and it’s just the right mix of plausible weirdness that makes for a fun alien design.

@akitymh submitted Aramzados, a Venusian monster that’s basically an organic hot rod car. I like the idea of organic machinery being the gimmick for Venusian kaiju, and Aramzado’s does it subtly enough to not feel like that gimmick is the sole thing going for it. I especially love this monster’s stange, apparently mouth-less blade-beaked face.

@virovac submitted Rurzar and Zar Rider, a Beyonder kaiju and mecha (respecitvely) that were both modified and repurposed by humans reverse engineering Beyonder technology to make, like, a motorcycle-saurus essentially. It is a delightfully absurd concept, and a very, very detailed one (13 pages of description). There’s a dark undercurrent beneath the sillyness, though, as this pair show that humanity might still be following the same path as the Beyonders before them.

@dinosaurana brings us Krangor, a humanoid monstrosity of living kelp! The goal here was to create a Jack Kirby-esque monster dude, complete with the gibberish name and all. He’s also made out of kelp, which feels very classic 1950′s monster-y despite me not being able to think of any monsters that were explicitly made of kelp. I love him.

@kiryuthechimera submitted Genkakurah, a psychic retrosaur with some draconic features. Though his substantial powerset is probably the biggest distinguishing feature of this kaiju (given that most ATOM kaiju pretty much have the same standard powers), what really draws me to him is that reptilian pseudo-beard. It’s just a fun detail!

@glarnboudin submits Tiratola, and see, there’s that fantasy influence again! Even more explicitly dragon-y than Kraydi, Tiratola still manages to toe the line between sci-fi and fantasy enough to fit ATOM as is while still cementing its ties to my own slice of fantasy fiction. Man it’s good I’m doing a Midgaheim book next, huh?

@dragonzzilla submitted Scuttlebutt/Argonautilus, a hermit crab kaiju who lives in/with a hollowed out mecha. That’s a twist I can’t recall ever hearing before, and the idea of a kaiju and a mecha having an equal partnership that doesn’t involve one being grafted to the other is really intriguing to me. A very unique concept!

@evolutionsvoid submitted Fleagor, an enormous flea who has no idea what to do with itself now that there’s no creature large enough for it to parasitize. I love that concept - it takes the core idea of the giant bug kaiju archetype (i.e. unsettling the audience by showing how terrifying small, “insignificant” creatures would be if our sizes were reversed) and really turns it on its head. The name also plays on the Universal Monsters, who were a huge part of 1950′s pop culture thanks to their movies being re-released in that era, so all and all this one is very on brand for ATOM!

@skarmorysilver submitted Lilacorn, another entry that plays up that Midgaheim/ATOM connection. Reinterpreting the mythological unicorn as an Cenozoic wooly rhinoceros-inspired monster gives it a very unique look, both in ATOM and in the general world of unicorns, and she has a bad-girl with a heart of gold personality to boot!

dracosaurus-rex submitted Florasaura, a two-headed plant/retrosaur hybrid monster. I love me some plant monsters, I love me some retrosaurs, and I love me some rhyming the word “flora” with other words that contain similar vowell sounds, so this one has me written all over it!

@downtofragglerock submitted Sauroguana, a delightfully odd flying retrosaur. There’s a great deal of charm to the original illustration that this sketch doesn’t quite capture - it’s a deceptively simple design with a lot of personality in it, and with those unique leg-wings it really doesn’t need a whole lot of frills to stand out.

Draxi submitted Brakan, an unimpressive burrowing retrosaur kaiju whose mastery of illusions allows it to convince other kaiju it’s actually a big, super-powerful badass that’s the ultimate fighter in the universe. It’s a delightful parody of the concept of a fan self-insert god-mode character, with a really fun story built into it to boot!

@quinnred submitted O.N.I.A.C., a mysterious cocooned kaiju whose chrysalis has been turned into an organic computer of sorts by the people studying it, and seems to possess a fairly advanced intelligence for a kaiju. It’s a really bizarre and ominous idea, with built in intrigue given how vague its nature is. Is it just a kaijufied butterfly/moth who got stuck mid transformation? A relative of the Mothmanuds? Something else, perhaps equally alien? Good story potential here.

shadyserpent submitted Vespilitor, a bat/retrosaur hybrid made by the nefarious Spooks Organization. A mercurial prankster whose tendency to stir up trouble never crosses the line into maliciousness, he’s the kind of monster who would make a great foil to a lot of ATOM’s cast. I’d especially like to see him in a prank off with Ahuul - it’d be like Bugs Bunny fighting Daffy Duck, but on a kaiju scale.

@multiversefan submitted the Yamaneon King, a nomadic kaiju whose refusal to settle down causes problems as he stirs up trouble at kaiju sanctuaries all over the globe by showing up unannounced and stirring up the locals. He was basically designed to be a monster that the kaiju sanctuary initiative would struggle to deal with, which is a good idea for a post-ATOM Volume 2 story conflict.

Sir K submitted Jadeera, a kirin kaiju that can actually forcibly convert most of its body to Yamaneon to enter a dormant, statue-like state in a loose homage to King Shisa. Though the fantasy elements are far more present than I usually prefer for ATOM kaiju, I think it should be noted they’re pushed that far for a purpose - a theme in Jadeera’s entry, which continues where its creator left off with their submission to the previous ATOM create a kaiju contest (Yokaigon), is that the world of kaiju is more complicated and challenging than many are willing to accept, which is a theme in ATOM itself. Yokaigon’s more supernatural/occult powers are based on the ghost parascience of my setting, which ATOM has delved into a bit (Pathogen being the big example), so it’s not as out of left field as some might think.

@cerothenull brings us our final entry (unless some got lost thanks to tumblr’s shitty tagging system), the flying spider Naeranti. She’s a kaiju spider who uses silk to make complicate hot-air balloons, more or less, and that’s just delightful. ATOM could always use more spider-monsters, and with a really unique gimmick backing up a wonderfully distinct look, Naeranti is sure to stand out among her fellow giant arachnids.

Well, that’s the roundup! In a week (or two, depending on how much my hand cramps) we’ll have the five finalists, and sometime after that, the grand prize winner!

#The Atomic Time of Monsters #The ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3D

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rinharu-purple · 3 years ago

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Emmm 👉👈 can i request Gavin's spring festival date analysis?! Ehem especially when Gavin said "I've waited a long time for today.." 💙

But Of course if you're not busy.. I'll wait patiently.. I just.. love read your analysis 💙 like i can feel your love and dedication for Gavin.. a lot of Gavin stan is very smart and loyal.. just like Gavin itself

Hello nonny and of course you can! Thank you for your lovely ask and reading my posts. It makes me really happy to hear this 💞 I can also double up what you've said, Our birdcop is smart and loyal and I really love being a part of Gavin-standom which includes so many talented writers, artists, analysts and it has @cheri-translates! There are so many great posts from various accounts and one can feel the love, passion and loyalty towards Gavin in all of them! 💫

An analysis on Spring Festival date is so overdue, so it is me who should apologize for not having written this before. I will more than gladly include your request scene, I hope you enjoy it ^_^

MC Testing Waters: Spring Festival Date

At the beginning of the game, MC is a young woman with lots of love in her heart, however without much experience in love. Fortunately this starts to change when she meets LIs as adults.

Spring Festival Date takes place after Firework Date and before the Romantic Date, although the timeline is quite messy, which I will come to by the end of this analysis.

If you look closely, you can see MC checking Gavin's romantic feelings towards her by using this "boyfriend game" and also uses the opportunity to get beyond his hardened exterior and touch his vulnerable side 💗

Spoilers start below this line

This date comes to, because MC lies to her aunt about having a boyfriend to avoid arranged blind dates and even promises to visit her on New Years with her boyfriend. Speculatively it seemed like a solid play, until...the time literally came.

Thinktanking about a way out of this with Kiki and Willow, they weight different options as to tell them she broke up with him, leave the city or call in sick but then the best wingman on earth Minor saves the way and suggests that she just takes a "fake boyfriend" with her, surely enough with Gavin in his mind.

MC goes through her contacts list to search for a suitable candidate, but her heart Whispers her the answer by skipping a beat as her fingertips scroll down to one name.

... Gavin

As such... MC has chosen her player for the game and Gavin's Heart Trial with MC's family commences...

---Press Start---

Creativity Test

Unluckily Gavin actually shows up for this highly important date late, with his phone off! From the storyline he arrives a couple of minutes late to MC’s aunt's place, thus starting the game one point behind. He was late because he was buying presents for the whole family! With the spot on gifts which are well received by the family because they're expensive, imported goods, limited products, cute and thoughtful he makes up for the lost points.

But it's just the first stage and he has 3 more stages to clear, the pressure is slowly rising.

This gray suit has a lovely story behind it, which you can find by the end of the story.

Decision Test

Gavin has passed the creativity test with flying colors, but in the second stage more challenging questions are on the menu. The eldest aunt wants to know Gavin's age, occupation, salary(?!) and possessions(?!). The last two questions are fairly over the line and is a no-no in my country. Asking people about their financial status as well as bragging about it is perceived as rude and insolent, that's why the way Gavin answers these questions skillfully without bragging about his wealth adds just another brick on my Gavin-temple.

Age: 24

Occupation: Police Officer

Salary: Covers the bills

Possessions: A flat in the city and a motorcycle.

In my Prank date analysis, I've mentioned about Gavin's ability to deal with impertinence and also here, he stays friendly, but only answers the questions necessary to get through with the situation. MCs family is checking whether he's wealthy enough to take care of MC (which is sad that in the 21st century that in some countries women need to be financially secured by men). So Gavin just gives them just the right enough of information to pass the test and pass he does.

There is another aspect to his way of answering though. You see, Gavin is an unmaterialistic man. He doesn't care about money or any other meta. He doesn't touch upon the fact that he's coming from a wealthy family, or that he inherits his grandparents house or that he can afford designer dresses, overseas travels or gems without giving a second thought. That shows just how humble Gavin is and I love him for it. What defines him is not his wealth, nor does he allow anyone define him on his financial status. It's his character, the values he stand for, the vision he embodies, the way he treats MC.. Ehm.. And.. His champion body and drop dead gorgeous looks (comes as an extra;))

But the game is far from over, because the family council is now going to challenge him on...

Affinity Test

This is where things get rosy as the family would like to know how they've met and whether they've been together since high school.

Look, Gavin is actually not playing a game, but living the moment. He is well aware of the fact that once he and MC become an official pair, he will be standing on the same spot a year later. He is serious...

So when they ask about their affection, he gives them his genuine answer and confesses his crush on her during high school and says that they've been going out since fall. This dazzles MC, as if she hasn't been dazzled enough lol.

The three glasses of drink he gulps surely has a role in this sincerity and taking three glasses of a drink as a punishment also becomes a tradition for MC and Gavin in the future.

And so, he proudly passes the Affinity Test with flying colors, effortlessly. Only one more stage and he's done it!

Execution Test

Every hero has his moment, when the fight takes a gloomier turn against his favor and the odds don't look good as before when he gets a strong blow, that is when the family hits him with the question "Don't you get alone well with your family?".

This is Gavin's weak spot, his cryptonite, his bleeding wound and MC's family just pressed on it. What makes this scene so heartbreaking is not just the topic itself and we know why it is a sensitive topic for Gavin but also that Gavin actually tries to signal them that this is not his favorite topic. He tells them he doesn't go home for holidays (friendly warning number 1), the aunties pushes by telling him to take some meal with him to which he replies "Thanks, but that's okay. I've been away for a long time" (friendly warning number 2) the family pushes further and as a one last resort he tells them that during college he rarely went there and spent holidays working afterwards (friendly warning number 3). Sadly the auntie than ignorantly ask whether his family doesn't worry about him and now because he's given three fair warning shots which, he downright gives them a brief and resolute answer:

- No.

That's usually the latest where people with common sense stop digging in further. Unfortunately then the auntie asks whether he doesn't get along well with his family to which Gavin no longer responds. This is the perfect way of dealing with such people and Gavin has a very intuitive talent for dealing different people from different mindsets. Give them three friendly and fair warnings, still pushing? Then give them a last chance by one final brief and to the point answer, they choose to ignore the signal? Stop interacting, you can only waste time beyond this point.

The only problem with this situation here, is that these people are not just somebody, Gavin wants to win these people over, so he cannot just ignore them. But also he cannot do it without a timeout, so he goes to grab some wine. (God it makes me so sorry everytime he has to face his family drama or is misjudged. I just wanna hug him bring him hot cocoa, give him a backrub and bring spicy food for him. Luckily he has MC ^_^)

But let's not talk only about about Gavin, because MC is struggling too. And we should recognize her stick up for him with the most cherishing words:

-Auntie, you got it wrong. He is a decent and pure man and has come to my aid many time and in quite dangerous circumstances.

When she comes back however cannot find Gavin, once she does, a heartwarming moment blooms between them.

This scene is very crucial in Gavin and MC's relationship because this is the first time MC sees Gavin tired and flustered. She feels sad for him but also happy for herself, for she feels as though she gets closer to him, thus seeing the real Gavin. By the way she show him her genuine care, Gavins heart melts and kisses the back of her hand as a gesture and so the first intimate moment involving them having a kiss ensues. Furthermore, they show each other their mutual care, which brings them one step closer and this gives Gavin the only courage he needs to tackle the situation.

When our hero gets the courage and the stamina he need from his girl, nothing can stop him now. Having gatherer his strength, Gavin returns to the dinner table:

“I am so happy to be here with you all today. In fact, I haven't felt this atmosphere of family in a long time. I have a very strict father and a brother I seldom see...I don’t even know when I turned into such a loner. Eating alone, sleeping alone, doing everything alone...until I met her. It was a beautiful autumn day. The gingko leaves were floating in the wind. I was also going through a pretty dark time. But she saved me before I hit bottom...It’s she who told me I could live a stronger life. And it’s also she who told me I could live a more tender life. I never felt lonely before, until I met her. I started to get used to star-gazing with her, having dinner with her, spending the New Year’s with her. In the future, I'll give it my all to stay with her, to take good care of her and love her. I wanna make up many times over for all the times I wasn't there”

MC’s heart stopped, aunties eyes teary, the elder Aunt want his actions to back up these words and thus Gavin has a pass from MC's family. Now that he's won the game, it's time to collect his prize.

After they leave MC's aunt's house, our lovebirds walk together in the night full of fireworks and Gavin tells Mc that Minor has mentored him on being the perfect son-in-law, hence he was late. He also asks her what she would do if he didn't show up, to which she says that her intuition says that he won't fail her and he murmurs quietly:

- I've waited a long time for today.

Of course he doesn't repeats himself when MC asks him about what he just said. But that's what kept him going all night long.

He has waited for six whole years to meet her again, to stand by here, take good care of her and love her. Tonight, he could do them all by being her "boyfriend", giving his word to her family and having their blessings. He could see that she also cares a lot for him, worries about him and wants to be there for him. He landed his lips for the first time on her delicate skin and could give her warmth.

He could finally confess his feelings for her and say the genuine things he will only say to her.

So yes, he has waited for a long time for this moment to come and when it came, he made sure to grab it tightly.

----—----—---

Timeline issues:

- The order of the dates in the game doesn't always reflect the real course of events. The grey suit that Gavin wears is actually bought after Romantic Date, which takes place after this date.

-Even though MC plans this whole game to avert blind dates, but she still gets set up later on a blind date by another aunt lol.

Thank you once again for your patience nonny and I hope that the analysis proves to be worthy of your wait 💗

Masterlist

For MC's confession let me take you here

For Gavin and MCs relationship milestones here

For a fun trivia about this date you can click here

#Meeting the family is important #Gavin preparing for being the perfect son in law #And getting help from Minor #Anon asks #mlqc #mlqc gavin #mlqc bai qi #mlqc haku #mlqc baek gi #mr love queen's choice #koi to producer #Meta #Analysis #Saturday night #Saturday

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heliads · 4 years ago

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Troubled Waters Chapter 1: A Warning

Strange happenings are starting to plague Beacon Hills. Scott McCall and his pack have always been able to defend their hometown no matter how dangerous the threat, but they may need the help of mysterious newcomer Y/N L/N.

series masterlist / next

The sound of voices drifts over to Scott from across the room. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see his friends sitting on the dock of Lydia’s lake house. Stiles is arguing some point with all the passion of a trained debater, with Malia answering back in a challenging but amused tone. Lydia is doing her best not to laugh, and Kira has just turned away from the two speakers to gesture to Scott to come back to the gathering.

Scott smiles at the sight of them. It’s rare that he and his friends have a moment like this, pure and lacking in any sort of danger. As time passed, Scott has grown to realize that golden moments like these need to be treasured, because they come around rarely thanks to the troubles constantly plaguing Beacon Hills.

He puts down his glass on the kitchen counter and strolls leisurely back to his friends, plopping down next to them and letting his feet dangle over the edge of the dock. Night has fallen, bringing with it some long-awaited cool air and a light breeze. The moon is hung just beyond the clouds, large enough to light up the sky and send little reflections dancing across the waves, but small enough that it will not draw on Scott and Malia’s abilities as only the full moon can.

Scott lets out a contented sigh, wanting to remember every last detail of this night. It’s the weekend before school starts up again, and they won’t be able to get away from everything like this for a while. Kira leans over to Scott, smiling gently. “Thinking about school?” Scott nods. “I’m just waiting for another disaster to strike. It feels like that’s all we get these days.”

Stiles rolls his eyes jokingly. “Come on, Scott. Let’s enjoy this weekend. You can worry about potential threats once we get back, but if I have to think about anything with glowing eyes and fangs I’m going to lose my mind.” Lydia raises an eyebrow. “What about spirits of death?” Stiles waves a hand dismissively. “Only if you don’t predict anything.” Everyone laughs at that, and Scott lets himself relax. This is his favorite part of his pack- the friendship, the camaraderie. It’s all so worth it.

The group dissolves into chatter once more, bringing up potential schedules and rumors of which teachers are the best, and which ones seem even more menacing than the Argents. Everyone is having a good time, until Malia frowns and sits up.

“Does anyone else see that?” Scott glances at her. “See what?” Malia points over his shoulder at the waters of the lake. “Is it just me, or does it look like the water is doing something weird?” Confused, Scott peers at the lake, and he realizes what Malia means. The water is moving, not just in the usual tides, but starting to roil, forming eddies and whirlpools despite a total absence of wind or anything else in the water.

Scott starts to stand up. “That is weird.” The water is moving faster now, and clouds of spray start to buffet the friends. “I think we should go.” Stiles shouts to be heard above the crash of the waves, and Scott nods in agreement. He watches as the waves surge and whirl with all the energy of a hurricane. Just as they all start to back away, though, the waves clash together with one last surge of water and then everything falls silent.

Lydia looks from the water to the house. “Is it over now? I didn’t see any motorboats, what just happened?” Scott slowly shakes his head. “I’m not sure.” He creeps to the edge of the dock once more, daring to look down over into the now calm waters below. His hand darts to his phone, turning on the flashlight and shining it around. He can’t see anything in the water, nothing that would have caused whatever it was that he just saw. Also, Scott’s been to the lake house often enough to know that storms like that don’t just come up out of nowhere. Despite the wildness of the water, the sky is clear as if nothing had happened.

Scott peers at the lake again, searching for something, anything, to explain the freak tempest of the waters. He pans the beam of his flashlight back and forth, across every inch of the lake. Then, he sees something bobbing along in the waves.

“There! What’s that?” Kira is standing beside him now, and she sees the same thing in the water. “It looks like it’s coming closer to us.” It’s true- Scott kneels on the wooden slats of the dock and reaches out his hand, trying to reach it. Just a few more seconds, and he has it, grabbing the debris from the waters and holding it up to the light.

It’s a box, made from dark wood and held together with a simple metal clasp. Scott looks questioningly at his friends, who nod at him to open it. Scott jams his phone in his pocket, then flips the clasp open and lifts the lid of the box. Inside is a piece of paper, folded neatly into a small square. Stiles reaches into the box and pulls it out, unfolding it. Malia looks at him, intrigued. “What does it say?” Stiles just shakes his head, confused.

“I don’t know. It looks like it’s in some other language.” He holds up the mysterious note and sure enough, inked into the paper in thick black letters is a strange, twisting script. Scott can’t make out a word of it. “Does anyone recognize what language that is?” He looks to Lydia, expecting an answer, but she looks just as unsure as anyone else. “No idea. I can handle Classic or Archaic Latin, but I don’t know what this is.” Scott looks back at the paper, and then at the plain box it came in. “What does all of this mean?”

They don’t find an answer to his question. Even after their time at the lake house has ended, and Scott and his friends drive back to their respective homes in Beacon Hills, Scott still finds himself thinking of the mysterious message. It had to do something with the sudden disturbance in the water, of that he was certain. Why else would it have arrived so quickly after the waters calmed down? Scott spent hours poring over the box, trying to see if there were any carvings, designs, hidden compartments, anything that would help him decode the message. Yet, after every try, he can still turn up nothing. Same with the paper- how can you translate a language if you have no idea what it is?

Even more confusing is when Scott receives a call from Mason mere hours after the incident at the lake house. The second he had picked up, Scott could tell that Mason was in obvious distress. “What’s wrong?” Scott had asked, but Mason had just continued on in the same agitated tone. “Did anything weird happen to you tonight? Like, a few hours ago?”

Scott was instantly on guard. “Yeah, the lake at Lydia’s house was behaving very strangely. It seemed like we were in the middle of a hurricane without anything else happening.” Mason had seemed unsurprised by that. “See, I have these charts up on my computer all the time. They measure the amount of energy present in Beacon Hills. They were useful with some of the other dangers, so I keep them up all the time. The thing is, I checked them just now and they were way up a few hours ago.”

Intrigued, Scott had asked him for more information, and Mason had readily supplied it. “Around nine p.m., the energy levels went from average to way higher than they’ve been in a long time. It seems like there was some event that generated a ton of energy, something that happened around the same time as your lake incident. I’d bet they’re connected.”

After Mason had ended the call, Scott sat in his room, thinking. What did it all mean? The energy readings- they had to be connected to the lake, just like Mason said. Whenever there was a lot of energy in Beacon Hills, danger usually followed. What would come now, and would Scott and his friends be able to stop it?

The start of school forces Scott to focus on something other than the events of that night at Lydia’s lake house. His classes seem challenging but at least interesting, and he has captainship of the lacrosse team to raise his spirits. When Scott finds his friends at lunch and sits down at the table next to them, though, he can’t help but sense an aura of unease hanging around them.

“We’re all still thinking about what happened at the lake house, right?” Scott asks, and Stiles sighs. “Yeah, we are. I mean, what could any of that mean? Lakes don’t just do that. There has to be something bigger that caused it.” Lydia agrees. “I’ve been to the lake house a lot. I’ve never seen it do that.” Scott nods, and pulls the box out of his bag, opening it to pull out the paper. His friends all look at it once more, trying in vain to decipher the message. “I just wish I knew what it said. Don’t sell the lake house? Spend more time away from the water? I’d settle for just knowing what language it is.”

“Ancient Greek.”

Scott turns quickly to see a girl standing at their table. He looks up at her, surprised. “Ancient Greek?” The girl nods, pointing at the paper. “Yeah, you can tell because of the letters. That’s a delta, that’s a theta, it’s definitely Ancient Greek.”

The girl looks back at their stunned faces, realizing that they’re all silent. “I’m sorry to listen in- I was just passing by and I saw the paper. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” She turns to go, but Scott stands up hurriedly. “Don’t worry about it. Actually, can you tell us more about what it says? Can you read Ancient Greek?”

The girl nods slowly. “I think I can, but it might take a while.” Lydia stands up too. “Come sit down. You’ve officially joined the friend group. What’s your name, by the way?” The girl smiles happily, taking a seat next to Lydia. “My name is Y/N. Y/N L/N.” Scott nods at the girl. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”

Y/N pulls the piece of paper over to her, squinting at it. “This is actually a pretty simple message. It’s just a few words.” She looks at the inked swirls again, her lips moving silently as she translates the message. Once she finishes, she puts the paper back down, but still looks confused. Kira leans forward excitedly. “What does it say?” Y/N looks at her, then back down at the paper.

“It’s some kind of warning. It says ‘Beware the naiads.’”

#teen wolf #scott mccall #scott mccall imagine #scott mccall x reader #scott mccall imagines #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf imagines #scott mccall series #teen wolf series

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exn0bisstudios · 4 years ago

Note

As a preface: no need to answer if you don’t feel comfortable with it,I know people sometimes don’t like these questions so no pressure if you’re one of them! Who likes kids, who would like to be a parent (if their partner also wanted that of course!), and who is good with kids? Thank you!

Well, firstly, thank you for your concern! I'm okay with these topics so long as it's not about me personally, so don't worry! That said, though, I'll put this under a cut since the topic might be uncomfortable for some people.

CW for: talk involving conception, infertility, pregnancy, miscarriage

Edited 5/16 - Changes to include more inclusive language. My apologies!

Since we're talking about the ROs and kids, let us talk about MC too for a sec.

It should be noted that it is typically challenging for a Seer to bear children/impregnate someone. The corruption that comes with their Void powers usually renders them infertile, or at least close to. However, it's not unheard of for a Seer to have children. Still, it usually results in a difficult pregnancy and can be dangerous to both the carrier and the child. Additionally, any child born from a Seer (either parent) would be Dream-touched.

That said, as we know, MC is a very special Seer. Canonically, their powers have not rendered them infertile, though their kid would still end up Dream-touched. However, I will be leaving it up to players to decide if their MC can or can't have biological kids for other reasons. And, obviously, adoption is also very much an option!

Now on to the ROs!

Mira

Mira likes kids well enough, and they're usually very good with them. They struggle a bit with dealing with noble children. Still, Mira's kind and empathetic nature tend to have children warming up to them regardless. They used to help take care of the young recruits back at the Order, both daily routine stuff and some training.

They would absolutely love to have a family one day, but it's something they kinda push to the back of their mind and try not to think about. Their lifestyle doesn't lend itself to the stability and safety necessary for raising children, considering they could be killed in action any day. They think it would be grossly irresponsible to have a family, then end up dead somewhere and leave them hanging. Mira was an orphan themself, and they know firsthand how hard life is for kids on their own. They have no desire to contribute to that lifestyle or put their own potential child through that.

If there ever came a time where they could lay down their weapons for good, though, then yes. They'd want to start a family in whatever way they could. Though not opposed to having biological children, both masc & fem Mira would prefer to adopt. Again, being an orphan themself, they would choose to take in a child. Mira would ideally like 2-3 kids so they can have a big family to grow old with, and they'd be a very supportive and doting parent. They'd probably struggle with discipline.

Nova

Children confuse the absolute shit out of Nova, and the way mortals procreate admittedly terrifies them. Nightmares are not born in the same sense that mortals are; they just kinda pop into existence fully formed. When Nova first learned about mortal procreation, they had a minor mental breakdown. The idea of another, smaller living thing growing inside someone strikes them as distinctly horrific. They've done their best to accept the idea at this point in their life, but mainly they cope with it by ignoring its existence. They see a pregnant person and basically go, 'suddenly I have no eyes.' Babies and children continue to confuse them despite their best efforts, and they have no idea how to interact with them. You put a child around Nova, and you're liable to hear them genuinely asking the kid why they are so small and dumb.

Nova's mortal body is also infertile by design. They chose this shortly after they realized they actually enjoyed sex and would do it again. They don't know if it would be possible for them to become pregnant/impregnate someone, considering they're not actually mortal. Still, they didn't want to risk it.

The only time Nova would consider starting a family is if it was something their partner(s) really, really wanted. They'd sit down and have an honest talk about how it's something that they know nothing about, that the process scares them, and that they are absolutely going to need help learning how to handle it all. But, if their partner is willing to accept all that, Nova would be willing to try. Though again, they don't know if they can procreate with a mortal, so they'd probably recommend going for a surrogate or adoption. Eventually, Nova'd grow into a good parent, very supportive, and surprisingly level-headed.

Stella

They don't have too much of an opinion on children, which shows in how they don't really know how to interact with them. Stella feels super awkward around kids, and they're more likely to tell them to shoo. Their own childhood has tainted their views, and being around children brings up things they'd rather not think about. Honestly, the fastest way to make Stella disappear is to put a child nearby.

Deep down, though, they like the idea of starting a family. It would take a lot of encouragement to get them to admit that. It'd take even more to help them process long-ignored family-related trauma and unlearn a whole lot of unhealthy habits. With the proper support from their partner(s), though, they'd really like to give things a try. Fem Stella wouldn't mind carrying a child. Still, both fem & masc Stella generally don't care if their kid is biological or adopted.

Stella would make for a very nervous parent, and they'd be absolutely terrible at discipline. They'd probably helicopter and be overprotective and would have to be reminded by their partner(s) that things will be okay.

Désiré

So a bit of history: Dez is one of the only two ROs who already has child-rearing experience. His best friend and second-in-command, Alix, was born and raised in the brothel with him. While he grew up to be an errand boy and bodyguard, she became one of the courtesans. He took up smuggling and worked his ass off to get them out of there, but unfortunately, Alix became pregnant before they could escape. Alix's son, Dimitri, was born in the cabin of the first ship Dez ever owned.

Alix eventually married Catarina, the crew's healer, who has acted as Dimitri's other mother. Thus, while Dez is 'officially' Dimitri's uncle, he has always been his only father-figure. Dimitri is 14 by the time of the game and is still a very active part of Désiré's life. You'll actually get a chance to meet him in-game since he's got a place on Dez's crew (he's the cabin boy)!

Now that history is managed, it's safe to say that Désiré would love to start a family one day. It doesn't matter to him how, though going the biological route, let it be known he's excellent at tending to pregnancy needs. He's a wonderful parent, generally gentle while supportive and encouraging, and is comfortable being stern when it's called for.

Vittore Simone

Sadly I can't get into the specifics of Vittore Simone's thoughts on kids and family without it becoming a spoiler. However, I can say that he vowed when he was young that he'd never have kids and has never thought of it since. Going forward, it would never be something that crossed his mind unless brought up by his partner and would be something he'd defensively refuse at first. Later, he'd come back with apologies and to have a more open conversation on the matter to express his reservations and fears.

Suffice to say that the idea of being a father absolutely terrifies him, and he has always taken great pains to avoid it ever happening. Even just the thought is enough to send him into panic attacks. His partner will need to be patient with him and accept that this is something he may genuinely never be able to do for the sake of his own health and any future child's. It would take a lot of time, reassurance, work, healing, support, and understanding before Vittore Simone ever agreed to give parenthood a shot. It will not be an easy road for him or his partner. It would likely be a road that never truly ends, and he'd need to be sure that they can both accept that without damaging their own relationship. He would try, though. He would do his damnedest. And, thankfully, there will never be any doubt that he genuinely does love his kid.

As a father, initially, he would constantly be terrified he was hurting his kid somehow. He would struggle with being overly permissive & overprotective at the same time. He's liable to have a panic attack any time the kid cries for the first several years. His partner will have to help him get through 'I'm a terrible father, this was a mistake' breakdowns periodically. Slowly, though, he'll build some confidence and be more comfortable interacting and expressing himself with his kid. He'll always be supportive, and he'll work his hardest to be sure his family knows he loves them unconditionally. His partner will have to accept the role of disciplinarian, though. That's never going to be something he'll be able to do on his own (but of course, he'll be there to support them in those conversations. He doesn't want to make them the 'bad guy' by any means).

Andrai

The other RO with child-rearing experience! Andrai has 15 younger siblings (yes, you heard me correctly) and absolutely adores them all. They're all grown now, but he loved taking care of them when they were little, and he still dotes on them whenever he can, in his own way. In general, he loves kids. He just thinks they're adorable. And, despite appearances, he's excellent with them. Kids love this man, they flock to him, and he has no problem with that. It confuses most onlookers.

The idea of starting his own family turns him to absolute mush. And, he'd love to, so so much. Adoption, biological, and surrogacy are okay with him. It would be up to his partner to limit exactly how many kids they have since Andrai would just say he wants them all. He makes an excellent dad, albeit quiet, and is unwaveringly supportive. He's comfortable with discipline and is the type to encourage self-assessing behavior. He's excellent at giving advice and genuinely just likes spending time with his kids and being involved in their lives.

He's probably not the one you would peg as the 'domestic bliss' type, but he absolutely is.

Vzridmi

She's very comfortable with kids since communal rearing is very common in ork communities, and she'd love to have a family one day. Some kids unused to orks might find her a bit intimidating just because of her size, but in general, children think she's fun to be around. She doesn't necessarily think about it too much, though, at this point in her life. It's not something she sees as being on the table for quite some time - she has research and exploration to be doing, after all.

Whenever she was ready to settle down for a family, she'd be comfortable with carrying a child herself, surrogacy, or adopting. She would really like to have at least one biological child if possible, though. She would make for an entertaining mother, excited about her child's life and ever-supportive of their interests and pursuits. She's comfortable with all the aspects of child-rearing. Still, She would definitely need her partner's advice if they ever discovered their kid was dealing with bullying. She'd need to be reminded by her partner not to be overprotective - she's not above threatening others with her war-hammer if they upset her baby.

#none of the ROs would be bad parents and they'd all love their kids #but some will definitely need more time adjusting than others #Anonymous #answered #TTO: Main Tag #TTO: Lore #TTO: Answers #TTO: RO Asks #Mira Twilight #Nova Dreamreaver #Stella #Désiré Desrosiers #Vittore Simone Armati #Andrai Freestrider #Vzridmi Ri'kho've #pregnancy cw #infertility cw #miscarriage cw

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girl4music · 3 years ago

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BUFFY REWATCH - S05E13 - Blood Ties

XANDER: “What about this... Key thing-y Glory's looking for?”

*Buffy and Giles both standing, sipping tea, exchanging a look*

TARA (voice over): “Yeah, I mean, shouldn't we be trying to find it before she does?”

BUFFY: “I don't think that's what we should be worrying about right now.”

*Giles sits*

WILLOW: “They've got a point. Whatever Glory's planning on opening with the Key, I'm guessing it won't be filled with candy and flowers.”

XANDER: “So where should we start looking? Do we know where it used to be kept? Who saw it last?”

BUFFY: “We did. Giles and me. We, we know where it is.”

XANDER: “You what?”

WILLOW: “You know, and you didn't tell us?”

GILES: “There were... reasons.”

BUFFY: “Look, i-if Glory knew that you guys knew where it was, I...

*Sits*

I-I just didn't wanna put you in that kind of danger.”

XANDER:

*Annoyed*

“As opposed to the other kind we're always in?”

WILLOW: “You should have said something.”

BUFFY: “Will, there-

*Pauses*

You're right.

*To Giles*

It's time.”

GILES: “Are you sure?”

BUFFY: “If they're gonna be risking their lives, they deserve to know.”

XANDER: “Know what?”

*Buffy looks at her friends. They look at her*

BUFFY: “There's something that you need to know... about Dawn.”

For this episode recap of ‘Blood Ties’, we’re going back to the theme of withholding information that we had in Season 4 with Willow withholding her romantic/sexual relationship with Tara from Buffy and the Gang, and Buffy withholding information of Riley being an Initiative Commando from Giles. But this time the reason to withhold information is much more serious as this is about Dawn’s true nature as the Key. Therefore, it would be information that would put the Scoobies in danger if they knew about her being it. Buffy only tells Giles this information as soon she finds out for herself, and they decide together that it’s for the best that no one else knows, lest they be targeted by Glory - who is looking for the Key to open a portal to get back to her Hell dimension.

I wanted to address this withholding of information from the other Scoobies because “it’s too dangerous” to know it because it’s a common occurrence that Buffy uses the “it’s too dangerous” excuse when it comes to Willow and Xander. Knowing they’re willing volunteers in aiding her in the Slayage, she often worries about their safety when she’s really got a challenge on her hands. And I would say Glory is the biggest challenge she’s faced so far. As a Hell God, Glory is the strongest Big Bad Buffy has come across yet. She’s even stronger than Adam - so she probably thinks that the enjoining spell (where she, Willow, Xander and Giles combined their essences to defeat Adam when he was just too strong for Buffy to take on alone in the Season 4 climax) wouldn’t be helpful this time. So she and Giles figured that keeping them out-of-the-loop on the Key was the best thing to do to both keep Willow/Xander/Scooby Gang safe and protect Dawn.

But see... the thing is, is they’re not going to take ‘no’ for an answer. Willow and Xander specifically (and Giles, to some degree, with officially being her assigned, and recently reinstated, Watcher) will always risk their lives not just because they’re the Slayer’s best friends - (and Watcher/Father figure) - but also because they’ve chosen their fate a long time ago. They were aware of the dangers and the risks and the consequences from pretty much the start of Buffy’s Slayer journey, and they chose to be willing participants in helping Buffy anyway. So now it doesn’t matter whether Buffy is around to fight evil as they’re going to be doing it anyway... because they’ve CHOSEN to do it. And that’s a very important word in the context of this subject because Buffy had no choice.

I bring up Willow’s conversation with Buffy in the episode ‘Choices’ in telling her where she’ll be going to college after graduating from Sunnydale High School:

Buffy: “I'm never getting out of here. I kept thinking if I stopped the Mayor or... but I was kidding myself. I mean, there is always going to be something. I'm a Sunnydale girl,... no other choice.”

Willow: “Must be tough. I mean, here I am... I can do anything I want. I can go to any college in the country. Four or five in Europe if I want.”

Buffy: “Please tell me you're going somewhere with this?”

Willow: “No.

*Hands Buffy a letter*

I'm not going anywhere.”

Buffy:

*Reads the letter*

“UC Sunnydale?”

Willow: “I will be matriculating with Class of 2003.”

Buffy: “Are you serious?”

Willow: “Say,... isn't that where you're going?”

*Buffy hugs her and they tumble onto the ground*

Buffy: “I can't believe it! Are you serious?! Ah, wait, what am I saying? You can't.”

Willow: “What do you mean, ‘I can't?’”

Buffy: “I won't let you.”

Willow: “Of the two people here, which is the boss of me?”

Buffy: “There are better schools.”

Willow: “Sunnydale's not bad. And I can design my own curriculum.”

Buffy: “Okay, well, there are safer schools. There are safer prisons. I can't let you stay because of me.”

Willow: "Actually, this isn't about you. Although I'm fond, don't get me wrong, of you. The other night, you know, being captured and all, facing off with Faith. Things just, kind of, got clear. I mean, you've been fighting evil here for three years, and I've helped some, and now we're supposed to decide what we want to do with our lives. And I just realized that that's what I want to do. Fight evil, help people. I mean, I think it's worth doing. And I don't think you do it because you have to. It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in.”

Buffy: “I kind of love you.”

Willow: “And, besides, I have a shot at being a bad ass Wiccan, and what better place to learn?”

It’s not about Buffy. It’s about fighting the good fight. Fighting against evil. Big Bad evil, the likes of Glory, especially. Maybe it makes some sense to play the whole “it’s too dangerous” card with Xander since he doesn’t have any physical/practical and/or mystical/magical powers... but it doesn’t make sense to play it with Willow. Willow now knows who she is and what she wants. Even if she doesn’t always believe in herself, she’s at least self-aware enough to know what it is that makes her tick. She wants to feel the heroicness of Buffy in helping the innocent for herself. Willow wants the power... and now she’s got the power... there is no reason why she shouldn’t be allowed to know information that would put her in danger or make her a target when she clearly shows, and does later prove when Glory targets Tara, that she’s the only one strong and powerful enough to hurt her and protect everyone, including Dawn, from Glory.

“The Slayer thing really isn't about the violence. It's about the power.”

It ultimately comes down to Buffy thinking she’s burdening her friends with having to take on the responsibility of Slayage. But she’s all wrong. Her friends - especially Willow - have CHOSEN this life. And it’s literally Giles’ job so... get a clue, Slayer. You’re better off when you have help. Your ties to the world do not weaken you. They make you stronger. There is always danger, there is always risk, there is always consequences. But someone’s CHOICE is all that matters. Just because YOU didn’t get a choice in the matter doesn’t mean you can “relieve” the Scoobies from theirs in the name of “it’s too dangerous" because it is also too dangerous for you to be without them too, Buffy.

#buffy the vampire slayer #blood ties #buffy summers #willow rosenberg #xander harris #rupert giles #tara maclay #it's too dangerous #choice #episode recap #buffy rewatch

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incorrectlumityquotes · 4 years ago

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FULL REVIEWS: “Covention”

I didn’t think I’d have a harder time doing these reviews on my days off than on a workday, but errands and all that. I had no expectations going into this episode at the time since “covention” is a fake made up word. But I heard Amity was going to be in it, so I got excited. The spice of life returns. It’s been a hot minute. Let’s see how the episode holds up.

The episode starts with one of my favorite cold openings. Super funny and gives a good shot at those books that have that pretentious flowery language. Seriously who says “thou” and “hast” anymore. Lame. Luz tossing King into the portal right when it closes was my favorite bit. Was Eda really going to go to the human world just for that?

Also I didn’t notice until someone pointed it out but I guess they’re using Azura and Hecate as some kinda parallel to Luz and Amity. Hope Amity doesn’t find out that she’s not the Azura character. Does that mean that Eda is that old ass lady and King is that little fox dog thing? That’s not cool, man. Be nice.

So much can be read into it, but that’s for another blog post for another time.

And of course, dumb-dumb me had to wait until the word was said out loud to realize that it was a play on the words “coven” and “convention.” So basically it’s a con episode. Cov episode? Whatever. Big brain hurt.

Relationships are a give and take and sometimes you gotta give in. Sorry, Eda.

I don’t know about you guys, but I never really had a lot of fun going to cons. The only part I really liked was meeting my favorite voice actors and watching indie wrestling. All the food, merch, and art was always overpriced and from shows I don’t watch. I don’t join video game tournaments because those people take the games way too seriously. Plus the area that I live in isn’t known for being big on nerd culture so the cons are never that impressive. I met Steve Blum last time and went to one and you can only go down from there so I don’t think I’ll be going to another one any time soon.

I caught this first time I saw it on TV. Luz and Willow arm in arm. Maybe in another life I would be shipping Luz & Willow. Maybe maybe. Also, Skara in the background. I think her design is really cute. Maybe she’ll get an episode in season two. Maybe maybe.

More lore and more worldbuilding which people really seemed to want and we got it. Eda explains that while covens seem like cool groups to belong to, they also strip you of all the other kind of magic you can do. Why? My theory was (and is) that about fifty years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together and tried to figure out a way to control people. Really keep them in line. They knew that people were basically stupid and would believe anything you told them, so they announced that this one guy could talk to the titan that the Isles were based of off. This one guys says that only he could talk to the titan and hear what the titan was saying and that only he could do all kinds of magic. Everyone else is doing it wrong and only he’s doing it right. With no proof or evidence, but trust him he’s on the level. The Boiling Isles was just doing fine before him, but now all of a sudden, we’re all doing it wrong. Let that be a lesson to you, kids. If anyone tells you anything like that, it’s bullshit.

Also the nine covens. Why nine? Why not group the bard and illusionary covens together into the music video coven? Why does potions get its own coven? How much school do you really have to take to learn to mix shit together and stir? Wouldn’t the plant magic coven know something about using plants to make potions? Why does the construction coven get it’s own coven? Couldn’t you use any kind of magic to build things? Is the construction coven the blue collar coven? Beast keeping gets it’s own coven? Like the bitch at the plant coven needs to switch covens to be told to feed her dog? My theory, the nine covens was really a marketing decision. Ten sounds too official. They knew that if it was too neat and tidy, they’d know something was up. Would they though? I don’t think so.

Any group that has their own stormtroopers is automatically evil. Even more proof that the coven system is bullshit.

“Distraction spell!”

This moment made me laugh so damn hard. The crap that Eda pulls is one of the highlights of the show for me.

Luz and Eda go check out The Emperor’s Coven panel in the main hall, and we’re introduced to another major character. Enter Lilith, Eda’s older sister. And I swear to you guys, I was so confused this entire time on who was the older and who was the younger sister until the season finale. Seriously, I kept getting mixed messages. I mean, I know now but give me a break here.

I think Lilith is a good character and a great foil to Eda. The fun part is that since they are sisters, Eda knows exactly how to push her buttons and drag Lilith down to her level. It’s always fun to see a stoic character break.

My finger points.

Amity shows up which automatically makes this episode better. Luz properly introduces herself and we get more back-and-forth. Amity being a real bitch here is more to mislead us for the last act of the episode, but when I first saw it I thought it was more confirmation that Amity was going to be the Draco Malfoy-clone of the series. Glad I was wrong.

We get more of Luz trying to make life play out like her favorite stories and challenges Amity to a witch’s duel. A thing she read in Azura that she has no clue whether or not is a thing in The Boiling Isles. There’s an equal chance that Amity could have just shaken her head and be like, “The fuck is a witch’s duel? That sounds like something you just made up.”

Also Amity should have caught that Azura reference from the start, but then that kinda would have spoiled Lost in Language, huh?

Again, Luz needs to learn that life does not play out like it does in her favorite stories. Challenging your rival to a duel is cool on paper but a big “Yeah no” IRL. Especially since she knows no real offensive spells, no defensive spells, is a weak nerd who has probably never been in a real fight in her life and has no fighting spirit. Trust me guys I learned the hard way. Life is not a shonen anime. You can’t settle anything by fighting.

I love mentor/mentee stories especially when they have a rival mentor/mentee pair. Too bad Dana has already said that Amity and Lilith were not close at all. It was more a relationship of convenience. But then again that would help witch whole foil angle. Lilith and Amity just use each other to get ahead while Eda and Luz do actually build a familial bond.

The duel goes...exactly the way I thought it would. Honestly. The cheating, the whole fight just breaking down, even Lilith and Eda doing an actual witch’s fight. Totally saw it coming. What I didn’t see coming was the bad ass animation they used for the Lilith/Eda fight and...

The Amity scene. The big reveal that Amity is not a Draco Malfoy clone (I only saw the first four movies). She’s just a girl who thinks people should follow the rules, hates cheaters and is under a lot of pressure to succeed. Only someone as empathic as Luz and try to keep building that bridge and try to make things right with Amity, but that’s a whole other episode.

And the episode ends with another great lesson I really like. “Will I ever be a true witch?” “I don’t know. What’s a true witch?” There are always expectations and pressure put upon you to be a true something. Others will want you to conform into a label for one reason or another. But all those expectations and labels are just illusions. It reminds me of a Bruce Lee quote. When an interviewer asked Bruce if he considers himself Chinese or American, he answers that he considers himself, “a human being.”

Labels can be fun because it makes it easier for the brain to organize things, but when people put too much stock into these labels problems arise. Think of labels as a boat to get you across the river. Once you cross the river you leave the boat behind. You don’t carry the boat with you. That’s just dumb.

“Witch please”

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it.

Hot take, Amity makes every episode better. More funny jokes, more worldbuilding, more Amity and hints at the main villain of the show. Lilith was a great addition and the episode hints at the main plot. Probably the most fun I’ve ever had at a con. And speaking of more Amity...

#the owl house #my works #full review #full reviews

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imagine-loki · 4 years ago

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Omega Mine

TITLE: Omega Mine

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 21/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Loosely based on: Imagine Loki discovers the Avengers have an omega who has healing powers living with them. He’s an Alpha and he wants her, badly.

RATING: M (eventually )

NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3 click here

Loki rose again, keeping your hand in his as he did. He gave you a brilliant smile and settled your hand on the crook of his arm. Clearly, he was going to escort you that evening. You weren’t surprised. Loki liked the spotlight and being the center of attention. His pranks around the tower said as much. But this press conference wasn’t the kind of spotlight he wanted, not with how he had been tortured and forced to attack Earth. He didn’t want to relive that trauma, for obvious reasons. You and the team all understood that and no one would fault him for wanting to stay near the team’s Omega, to stay near his Omega.

You smiled up at him, letting him feel your calming aura. Everything would be alright. Loki gave you a warm smile in return, grateful that you were there to support him.

“Are we ready to head out?” Steve asked. Everyone was there and Nat had finished inspecting their outfits.

The team agreed and you all took the elevator down to the lobby to the waiting limo. You all squished in the elevator together and Loki pulled you safely to him, not letting anyone hurt you. He eyed the limo when he saw it, clearly having never seen such a vehicle before.

“It’s called a limousine,” you explained when he’d helped you in and followed after you. “They’re used for special occasions, usually by rich people.” Loki nodded along to that. He was a prince and understood status devices.

It wasn’t far to the conference hall, which was good when you had the entire team in a limo at once. You stepped out of the limo onto a red carpet, where the press was gathered to take pictures of you as you headed inside. They always wanted to comment on what designer designed your dresses and suits for any event you went to. The Avengers were famous, as one would expect with how often they saved the world. Since you were a member of the team, despite not being a hero and on the front lines, you were just as famous. Being a celebrity was something you were still getting used to.

Steve glanced to you as you stepped out of the limo. Loki was there and had offered you his hand like the prince and gentleman he was in order to help you out of the limo. You appreciated the help in the long gown. You gave Steve a reassuring look when you caught his glance. He was always so nervous in social situations. Especially when Bucky couldn’t reassure him easily. They played down how they were still mated in front of outsiders, as people outside the team wouldn’t understand.

Steve relaxed when he felt your aura and saw you nearby. The team’s Omega was vital to their stability. You all gathered for the press and posed for pictures. Loki remained next to you, a proper escort. Escorting you also gave him something to focus on beside the Midgardians taking his picture and gossiping about him. His posture was stiff and he had a hard time relaxing when there were so many people ogling him for the wrong reasons. You squeezed his arm, drawing his attention back to you. He gave you a smile and a grateful look as your aura wrapped around him, wrapped around all of the team.

Finally, you got to go inside and up to the stage where Steve and Thor would be announcing Loki as the newest member of the team. You listened politely to the speech, your presence reassuring Loki as the pair spoke about him. You watched the press too, watched and made sure they were accepting Loki. It was your job to read people and you were damn good at it. It was part of what made you such a good Omega for the team. Steve explained to the press that Loki was joining the team and an official Avenger from that moment forward. Thor reassured them that the Battle of New York had not been Loki’s fault or choice. There was no doubt in his words and he left no room for doubt or disagreement. He expected that since the team trusted Loki, that the Midgardians needed to do the same.

A few questions were asked after and Loki made a couple of polite comments when prodded to do so.

Once that was over, you started the mingling part of the evening. You couldn’t stay on Loki’s arm the entire time, which clearly disappointed him. The press didn’t fail to notice how Loki doted on you. They could clearly see that there was no mating mark on your neck, that your collar remained the plain silver of an unclaimed Omega. Clearly, Loki hadn’t laid an official claim yet, but it was very clear to anyone who looked at the pair of you that he was an Alpha courting an Omega, one who had stated his intentions and was now waiting for the Omega to accept or deny his claim. That knowledge would keep any other Alpha at bay, unless they were idiotic enough to want to challenge Loki for the right to court you.

This was the old way of the castes, the way things were supposed to work. There were too many Alphas in recent history who would just take an Omega they wanted.

Loki wasn’t like that.

It was well known that an Alpha was at his most dangerous and volatile while he was waiting for the acceptance or denial of the Omega he was courting. So it was amazing that he would leave your side in the group of the press. However, he also accepted that you needed to have independence and your own life. You were in public, in sight of him and the team. So he allowed you to mingle, to check on each member of your pack to make sure they were alright. He stayed at your side as much as possible, but didn’t overbear.

He was answering questions for a reporter with Thor when you went to talk to Nat, intending to get her to go with you to the ladies’ room. None of the team would forgive you for leaving the ballroom on your own. Not when Nat, Loki, Lady Loki, Happy, or any of the team really, would be willing to escort you.

A hand wrapped around your arm as you were walking toward Nat. You turned to look to see who had touched you even as your instincts screamed this was wrong. It wasn’t a member of your pack. Your pack could touch you casually. You scarcely even noticed when they did.

This person wasn’t pack.

You looked up at the hulking man in the suit. Alpha. Predator. His grip tightened on your arm as he caught your scent fully, as your fear spiked at being accosted.

“The Avengers brought an Unclaimed Omega,” he growled. “Just begging to be claimed and knotted,”

Your eyes widened as the scent of his lust and power hit you. He wasn’t as strong as Loki, not hardly, but he was an Alpha and part of you demanded you submit. You weren’t going to submit. Not to him.

“N-no,” you tried, but your voice stuck in your throat.

The Alpha was moving, dragging you out of the room. The team was all busy mingling and didn’t see. Didn’t sense.

“Quiet, Omega. You’ll be claimed and mine soon enough,” the Alpha snarled, trying to overwhelm you with his power.

You had to stop this. Had to. Do… something, anything.

The team hadn’t been training you for nothing. “NO!” You shrieked, using your magic to throw a blast of light in his eyes at the same time as you whirled, driving your foot into a very delicate piece of anatomy. Nat had been drilling you on self-defense for months.

The Alpha howled as he doubled over, clutching at his crotch with one hand, the other still managing to maintain his grip on your arm.

You didn’t need to shriek again. The team was alerted at your first shriek and were there in a moment. Bones crunched in his hand as they were removed by Bucky’s metal hand. Loki pulled you away from him a moment later and into his strong safe arms, surrounding you by his scent.

“Are you hurt?” Loki asked you gently as the entire team held weapons aimed at the Alpha who had dared touch you.

You shook your head. “J-just a bruise,” and you were clearly shaken up, but no one would fault you for that.

Loki nodded and slid his suit jacket off. He wrapped it around your shoulders, surrounding you in his scent and safety. He handed you, quite literally, to Thor. A look passed between the brothers. Thor nodded as his arm wrapped around you, pulling you to him. His other hand held Mjolnir.

Loki trusted Thor more than anyone else on this realm. The pair had fought side by side for centuries, since they were old enough to hold weapons. He trusted his brother at his back.

And he trusted his brother to protect his mate while he dealt with the danger.

That Alpha was so very, very fucked for daring to mess with Loki’s mate.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #submission #omega mine #chapter 21 #nekoamamori

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tochasingwaterfalls · 4 years ago

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toni and shelby scenes i practiced writing because i officially have no life anymore

(2nd pov shelby and not always entirely accurate)

1. what the fuck are you wearing

The first time Toni talks to you, like really interacts with you, is when you pull Martha out of that riptide and bandage her ankle with the material of your top. She comes flying towards the two of you, worried about Martha, and so relieved, that she doesn’t even notice you at first. But when Martha shifts her attention towards you, compliments you, thanks you for the help, Toni looks at you. And she doesn’t just look at you, she scans you up and down and your skin starts to feel hot under the intensity of her gaze and you’re about to say something when -

“What the fuck are you wearing.”

You decide to brush over that, you tell yourself that she‘s on edge like all of you, that she didn’t mean for it to sound this patronizing, and when you walk back to the others, you try not to think about the way she looked at you. You try not to think about the way it made your skin crawl and burn at the same time, something you‘ve never felt before and something so entirely wrong.

2. god’s such a joke

“I‘m so sick of looking at your fucking ponytail. I feel like it thinks it’s better than me,“ she bites and when you turn around, she’s right there, up in your personal space, looking at you and challenging you to bite back with her eyes so intense that you forget how to breathe for a moment.

“Why don’t you go in front, then?” You offer and she scoffs, brushes right past you with all her anger and when your hands just barely touch, it sets your body on fire all over again. You’re proud that you didn't let her get under your skin with all her punching remarks, toned arms and that insufferable smirk of hers - and yet what you fail to realize is, that she already runs so much deeper.

Toni stomps in front of you, each step loaded with a tension that stems from a place much further away than anything on this island but at least she’s not talking and you can finally concentrate on finding water. The Lord helps those who help themselves. You mumble a few prayers under your breath and it’s like she’s waited for just that, because she whirls around, snaps “God‘s such a joke,” and scoffs when you stay quiet. It’s something she seems to be doing a lot; scoffing, picking fights where there are none, fighting battles only she knows the cause of. “Do you know He is just a brainwashing tool designed to enslave the masses?“ She’s smirking again, thinks she’s cornered you, and you don’t know why you feel the need to say something back, maybe because you don’t want her to think you have no backbone, or maybe just because you want to see how she reacts.

“Even if He were just a brainwashing tool, you ever think maybe your brain could use a good,” you draw out your bottom lip with your teeth. “scrub?“

“Fuck off.“

It’s the start of a game you two continue to play; she’s scoffing, dismissing, disagreeing with everything you say and you’re brushing it off, practicing your patience, all while trying not to let her see how much she actually does rile you up.

3. don’t bullshit me, shelby

It all starts with Rachel commenting the way Toni’s eating the mussels and you wish she would’ve just kept her mouth shut. “Just trying to stay on brand, you know.” Toni smirks, looks proud, and when she brings up the mussel to her mouth, your breath falls short in the back of your throat, because she’s not going to- Oh, she definitely is and there’s a knot settling low in your stomach. You don’t want to watch but it’s physically impossible for you to look away. “You gotta admit, the shape of these things... it’s kinda like a-“

“Like a pussy!“ That’s Nora, loud and so surprising, that there’s a shocked moment of silence before they’re back to laughing again and cheering Toni on, all like;

“Lick the clit.” and-

“This is the most action any of us have gotten.” and-

“Go off, girl!” and-

- you don’t know how can they be so okay with all this but you can’t take it anymore. “Would you stop?!” And okay, maybe it’s a little hysterical with a little too much panic seething through your voice and you can’t meet Toni’s eyes when she wipes off her mouth.

“Okay, that was hilarious and Shelby has no chill,“ Dot says into the silence that has started to settle in.

“I have chill, I guess I just don’t - I don‘t see the humour in that sort of thing.“ You still can’t bring yourself to look at her.

“What do you mean that sort of thing?“ You can feel her running hot again, eyes not leaving your face, eyebrows furrowed, hand balled around the mussel so tightly, her knuckles turn white. She has you cornered.

“You know, pornographic gestures. I‘m a Christian, all right? I‘m from a Christian home, I‘m allowed to be a little skeeved out.“ You try your hardest to dodge the question, with the words practically spilling from your lips; and when your eyes finally lock with hers, you think she has to notice how they’re almost begging her not to push any further. This time, she really has you cornered and you can’t let go of the cross hanging off your neck.

Wether or not she notices the plea in your eyes, Toni pushes, because all she ever does is pick battles. “I mean that‘s not all that’s going on here. Don‘t bullshit me, Shelby, cause the vibe that’s coming of you right now, I‘ve felt it a few too many times not to know what it is.“

All she ever does is pick battles but this is one, she has every right to fight. You know that and you look away; you’re practically drowning in your shame and the way Toni continues to push makes your throat close up.

“What are you saying, Toni?“

“I’m saying that she can’t stand that I’m gay, Marty, that’s what fucking skeeves her out.” Her anger fails to mask the way she’s hurt, the way her voice breaks a little in the end and you want to cry, knowing you’re the cause of all that.

“Look, I’ll be as honest as possible, because y’all deserve that.” It’s out on the table and you have to take a deep breath before the words rush out of your mouth, as if that would make it any better. You don’t know how the others react to what you say, you’re completely zoned in on Toni; she’s the one that matters and you’re begging her to understand that when you say, “I do believe that way of life is a sin,” you really mean “I’ve started hating myself such a long time ago that I can’t remember how not to.”

But she pushes herself up to her feet and spits “I can’t fucking believe it-“

Your tongue presses against your dentures when you cut her off. “I’m sorry, but everything I’ve ever known has taught me that.” Your lips on Becca’s and how right it feels, your father looking at you and then stopping to look at you all together, your pleas that it will never happen again, please, it was all Becca. Everything comes rushing in, balled up into a wave of shame and guilt that hits you square in your chest and almost knocks you over. It cuts up your throat from the inside when you say “Look, there’s no hate in my heart, I just feel sorry-“

“Fuck you.” She has you cornered, but there are no smirks, no snarky comments; there’s just the try to mask pain with anger and self hate with believe and you think that maybe this was the game you played all along.

4. i’m not gonna take shit from you

You don’t have time to figure out what it means when you grab the pill and turn around to face her. “Toni, I’m gonna need you to take this, alright?”

“Stay away from me.” Still, close to passing out and maybe losing her life, she’s angry and proud and snapping but you brush it aside. You don’t have time for this.

“If I put this in your mouth, can you take it?”

“I’m not gonna take shit from you.” It sounds weak, her voice hoarse and her lips chapped and you don’t have time to figure out why there’s this hot knot building up in you stomach with every word she says.

“It will save your life, Toni, you’re taking the damn pill.” You’re desperate and worried, knot in your stomach, heat in your veins, and when some of the others try to take the pill from you, something inside of you snaps. “Jesus fucking Christ, am I not allowed to help her!?”

You push her over and you don’t have time to figure what it means when your breathing becomes ragged and your whole body feels like it’s being set on fire when you force her to open her damn mouth.

“Swallow the fucking pill.” You're on top of her, one hand covering her mouth to make sure that she doesn’t spit out the pill, the other tangled in her hair, skin on skin and never this close before. It makes your head spin. When you hear her swallow and a flood of relief washes over your body, you’re not sure you want to figure out what that means. It will never happen again.

Toni runs deeper than your skin, she’s in your bones and in your veins and you’re scared shitless. So you do what you do best, and you walk away.

5. you’re free here

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to have to be pitch perfect every second? To be watched like a hawk for the slightest bit of weight gain or the tiniest wobble in my heal or if my hem is just a centimeter off regulation or if I say the wrong thing about international politics? God, help me.”

“So you’re complaining about being judged when you literally signed up for that?”

“I know, I - “ You know she’s right. She’s cornered you again. “But I‘m not just talking about pageant stuff. It feels like everywhere I go, somebody is asking me to meet some kind of expectation. It’s a lot is all. The pressure.“ You don’t know how to say it to make her understand - without saying too much, that is. You’re playing the game again and she’s winning.

“Yeah, well, my dad‘s been a no show since day one and my mom is in and out of rehab like it’s a fucking white castle, so nobody expects shit from me. Doesn‘t feel great either.” You hear her voice get rough, close to breaking and she blinks a little harsher than just a minute ago. “Do you know how many field trips I had to bail on, cause no one’s been there to sign my permission slip? You know, I don’t give a fuck about going to the planetarium, you know? It just would’ve been nice to have someone there to say that I could.“ She’s rushing out things you’re not sure anyone else knows, maybe not even Martha, and you’re desperately trying to comprehend all of it.

“Yeah, but-“

“Shelby, if you’re trying to out-sad me, it‘s a losing fucking battle.“ She says it with a finality that's so much like her and it breaks your heart. Here you have her, talking to you like she means every word she says and you’re still thinking you’re playing a stupid game.

“But you’re free, don’t you see that? You don’t have to answer to anybody,” you argue and hits closer to home than anything you’ve ever told anyone before-

And then Toni says something that changes everything.

“And neither do you, not right now anyway.” Your eyes bore into hers and you realize that she’s right. That she knows what she’s talking about. That you’ve been hiding and that you’re tired of it. She keeps talking and you’re too busy staring at her lips and the way her eyebrows are furrowed together in a way to underline the point she’s making, to hear what she’s saying. “I mean, you’re on a deserted island a million miles away from whatever bullshit expectations you left behind. You’re free here, Shelby, and if you’re not taking advantage of that, then I don’t know what the fuck to tell you.“

You’re free here. You’re free.

Before you know what you’re doing, you rush in, thumbs on her cheeks and fingers curling around the back of her neck and you finally, finally, finally press your lips against hers. It’s desperate and it’s everything you’ve wanted to do for God knows how long. The way she kisses you back makes you feel closer to God than any prayer ever could and it feels so right until-

My, God.

You pull away and you're staring at her, breath falling short in the back of your throat, lips hot and so caught up in the moment.

And then it comes crashing in. It will never happen again, please, Dad. It’s not what you think it is. This is not who I am.

You’re free. You’re free and you do what you do best, you run away from it. The difference is, that this time, there’s someone to chase after you.

#i love them too much #shelby x toni #shelby goodkind #toni shalifoe #the wilds #why am i obsessed

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