#they’re going to be Mexican and they don’t get that no one wants those jobs

[emeraldcreeper]

Nothing like working out the general frustration with the fact that no one in your extended family has to think about politics outside “well he’s getting rid of ‘the illegals’ and id so pick crops in the insane heat of summer and shit its FINE!” When they’ll lose their benefits so fucking hardcore her kid had two babies and is probably on Medicaid

[thenightshadowqueen]

Death for a Dollar watchthrough thoughts

Holy shit, this was unhinged. I loved it so much. (That’s too many italics, but I don’t care.) I’m kind of speechless; the number of times I actually covered my mouth in shock (usually because of Sam, but Tom was insane in this one, too) was staggering. I adore this play.

Anyway, I’m going to get into my actual thoughts instead of just rambling.

Just to start, ‘Death for a Dollar’ is a great title, so kudos to whoever came up with that

Oh my god, Hank and Gareth 2.0!!!!

“You don’t know what he did for this place.” “That—Tell me!” This is off to a strong start

“Where was your showmanship?” I love it when they work mini games of Change into the plays

Mr. Twilliger is an incredible name

“This is me being the bartender, getting the stories out of the customers, so they reveal things, and then they want to drink more because they’re reliving their trauma.” I mean, it’s a valid tactic to get more money; yay, capitalism! (sarcasm)

AJ forcing Tom to be musical… Caesar and Juliet, anyone?

I love that Luke knows off the top of his head how many keys a piano has (I’m honestly not surprised)

Is Sam’s hair a little longer than normal? Because it looks really good

“I got three keys, three teeth, three toes. I’ve been through a lot.” I love Tony the piano player (who was also referred to as Bill once)

“My mind can take an awful lot; there’s not a lot in there” I love him, actually

“You ain’t trying to seduce him!” “But I get bigger tips when I do!” Sam

Can I just thank whoever edited this for giving us that little shot of Tom laughing? Because I love it when we get to see him actually laugh.

I love Mrs. Prostitute (and I love Tom for including positive representation of sex work)

“This is what feminism looks like” West End Big Boys flashbacks

“My mum is crazy” SAM

Also I think my favourite thing about the microphones is that we can hear them laughing so much more clearly (brought to you by Luke, on this occasion)

I adore Sam’s weird little harmonica thing he does in western-genre pieces

Ooh, younger versions of characters being played by different actors; I don’t think we’ve seen that before

I love Sam being confused and Tom’s response being to start clapping

I love Sam being annoyed and retaliating at AJ with a bald joke

“I told my daddy that I was real fast with a pistol, and that maybe I could go and work in law enforcement, but he wouldn’t have it.” “No! No son is going to go work for the government!” AJ trying to paint his father as the villain and Sam trying his very best to make the audience like him… This is gorgeous

“Telling a man if he’s allowed to own people or not” okay, never mind, I take that back

I don’t know why Sam picked the Watson-clown voice, but I’m glad he did (also I love that the voice made Luke break)

“Many Fingers Pussy” Jesus Christ, Tom

“They thought I had the devil in me” god damn it, now I feel bad for Bill

Sam is so good at playing wide-eyed innocent characters

“God, I wish they had that law in America in the modern day” I wish I had enough faith in people’s judgement to wish that

“I didn’t know you could do magic” I love it when Sam causes trouble

I can never see a reference to a one-man band like that and not think of Mary Poppins

“I can’t wait to hear those four white boys do those accents” oh dear

Luke speaking Spanish!!!

You know what, that vaguely Mexican accent could have been a hell of a lot worse, so well done, Sam

“So you can work on a farm, or you can jerk people off” oh my god, Sam

“He offered me a job” and then AJ realising what it sounded like and walking it way back

Tom entering the scene and waiting for a moment to join in and then Sam just throwing him in without warning is amazing

“I work here jerking people off” Tom

“She said she helps people el secrete-o” SAM

“Hand stuff Jesus is okay with” Sam

I don’t know why the fact that Tom knows little bits of Spanish brings me so much joy, but it does

Holy shit, Luke speaking Spanish with an American accent might be my new favourite thing

I love Maria, the bank robber/prostitute

You know what, I get Bill; the little, slightly mosquitoy “yeah”s are alluring

Half-kiss!!!

“A beautiful flower turns to a crooked leaf” I fucking adore AJ’s weird little sayings

“It’s a well-known expression” and then the advert with the merch saying ‘more well-known expressions’

“Something went worse than wrong. It went really wrong.” Gorgeous.

Sam’s slip oh my god

I know I already said Sam’s hair looks good, but Sam’s hair looks really good

I already said it but I will never be over Luke’s Spanish-in-an-American-accent. Never.

“I’ll keep my hands moist for you” it seems like Tom like using the word moist (the moisturiser fairy comes to mind)

I love audience participation

I’m sorry, as someone who struggles with mental math, that quick multiplication from Luke was impressive

“Got a lot of spunk in you, have you?” I love Tom using his English degree to make dirty jokes (obviously this doesn’t require an English degree; I just mean that it’s a wordplay joke)

I love Sam making sure to bring the story full-circle, with Tony losing his teeth and toes

Jesus, Tom

“Have we invented the electric chair yet?” I looked it up, and it looks like it was invented in the 1880’s, so not quite, but it wasn’t nearly so far off as I thought it might be

“I’ma travelling electric chair salesman” … honestly, I’m not even surprised at this point

Tom is right; this is really dark

I don’t think Sam knows how electric chairs work (affectionate)

Okay who the fuck let Sam wink like that

“Well, I guess that’s the end of the Shoot from the Hip show” I love when they get meta

“What could go wrong with giving a southern American teenager a pair of guns? I’ve got school tomorrow!” Holy fucking shit; may I present Sam Russell, the king of risky jokes

“…when we faked my death…” I love Tom so much

“I think this is the first time we’ve used the principle of the unreliable narrator” I actually love this so much; this is such a cool concept, especially for an improv show

Tom is unhinged in this one and I love it

I love this so much

I already made as post saying this, but it bears repeating: this is BUS levels of insane

[mariacallous]

At first, she didn’t think much about the Nicaraguan asylum-seekers who began moving into town a few years ago. Rosa was an immigrant too, one of the many undocumented Mexican immigrants who’d settled nearly 30 years ago in Whitewater, a small university town in southeast Wisconsin.

Some of the Nicaraguans had found housing in Rosa’s neighborhood, a trailer park at the edge of town. They sent their children to the same public schools. And they got jobs in the same factories and food-processing facilities that employed many of Rosa’s friends and relatives.

Then Rosa realized that many of the newcomers with ongoing asylum cases could apply for work permits and driver’s licenses — state and federal privileges that are unavailable to undocumented immigrants. Rosa’s feelings of indifference turned to frustration and resentment.

“It’s not fair,” said Rosa, who works as a janitor. “Those of us who have been here for years get nothing.”

Her anger is largely directed at President Joe Biden and the Democratic Party for failing to produce meaningful reforms to the immigration system that could benefit people like her. In our reporting on the new effects of immigration, ProPublica interviewed dozens of long-established Latino immigrants and their U.S.-born relatives in cities like Denver and Chicago and in small towns along the Texas border. Over and over, they spoke of feeling resentment as they watched the government ease the transition of large numbers of asylum-seekers into the U.S. by giving them access to work permits and IDs, and in some cities spending millions of dollars to provide them with food and shelter.

...

Among those residents is one of Rosa’s friends and neighbors who asked to be identified by one of her surnames, Valadez, because she is undocumented and fears deportation. A single mother who cleans houses and buildings for a living, Valadez makes extra money on the side by driving immigrants who don’t have cars to and from work and to run errands. It’s a risky side hustle, though, because she’s frequently been pulled over and ticketed by police for driving without a license, costing her thousands of dollars in fines.

One day two summers ago, one of her sons found a small purse at a carnival in town. Inside they found a Wisconsin driver’s license, a work permit issued to a Nicaraguan woman and $300 in cash. Seeing the contents filled Valadez with bitterness. She asked her son to turn in the purse to the police but kept the $300. “I have been here for 21 years,” she said. “I have five children who are U.S. citizens. And I can’t get a work permit or a driver’s license.”

When she told that story to Rosa one afternoon this spring, her friend nodded emphatically in approval. Rosa, like Valadez, couldn’t vote. But two of Rosa’s U.S.-born children could, and they cast ballots for Trump. One of Rosa’s sons even drives a car with a bumper sticker that says “Let’s Go Brandon” — a popular anti-Biden slogan.

Rosa said she is glad her children voted for Trump. She’s not too worried about deportation, although she asked to be identified solely by her first name to reduce the risk. She believes Trump wants to deport criminals, not people like her who crossed the border undetected in the 1990s but haven’t gotten in trouble with the law. “They know who has been behaving well and who hasn’t been,” she said.

...

Mike Madrid, a Republican strategist, said it’s wishful thinking to believe Trump will give any special treatment to undocumented immigrants who have been living and working in the U.S. for a long time. But he’s heard that sentiment among Latino voters in focus groups.

“They believe that they are playing by the rules and that they will be rewarded for it,” Madrid said. “Republicans have never been serious about legal migration, let alone illegal migration. They’re allowing themselves to believe that for no good reason.”

...

Some of the Haitian migrants were eventually deported; others were allowed into the U.S. to pursue asylum claims and given notices to appear in court in a backlogged immigration system that can take years to resolve a case. “That to me is offensive for those who have been living here for more than 10 years and haven’t been able to adjust their status,” Garza Castillo said.

He hopes Trump seizes on the opportunity to expand support from Latino voters by creating a path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants who’ve been here for years. “If he does that,” he said, “I think the Republican Party will be strong here for a long time.”

Immigrants’ Resentment Over New Arrivals Helped Boost Trump’s Popularity With Latino Voters

[col-e7]

Ninjago headcanons again but my high school with no powers AU (post 1/5)

/!\ TW : traumas, E.D, depression, SH, cigarettes and dr8gs, bullying, mental health, violence, VERY long post with the worse grammar possible /!\

This will be a serie of 5 posts with 3 characters each time. Any ideas, suggestions, headcanons or anything to complete mine is appreciated !

Kai Smith

• is 17 y/o

• is in 11th grade

• uses he/they pronouns but prefers being seen as a guy

• androgyne and pansexual

• are Mexican by their mother and Japanese by their father

• fluent speakers in Spanish and Japanese

• he’s between 5’7 and 5’8 tall (somewhere between 1m70 and 1m72)

• they’re the 3rd older after Zane and Cole

• they’re born on 18 august

• has I.E.D (intermittent explosive disorder)

• has insomnia since the burglary happened (in my AU, Kai and Nya’s parents died stopping burglars who entered in the house, Kai were 10 and Nya 9)

• everyone knows him and his relation with his siblings and how you shouldn’t hurt or annoy them if you don’t want to go to the hospital (that’s what happened to Lloyd’s bullies in middle school)

• due to what they did to Lloyd’s bullies, they had to pay for the damage and the treatment. It took them almost a year and half to find the money

• has a LOT of followers on his socials, especially instagram

• is good at English, P.E., politics and social classes and surprisingly good at art (only at whatever touching fashion like anatomy, outfit sketches and drawing different textures/fabrics)

• wants to be a model or work in fashion industry

• has dated a lot of people in their life but it never lasted more then two months because of his I.E.D that their partner didn’t understand or search to understand, his habit to never seek help or say anything about his feelings

• is currently dating Skylor since the beginning of summer but they realise that they have maybe catch feelings for Cole

• is the only one with Jay to have a driver license

• always getting in trouble with school or students because they fight a lot (is easily provoked)

• work hard after school everyday (he’s overexploited by his boss and knows it but can’t quit his job because he couldn’t afford the apartment or pay any food)

• hate seeking help, see it as weakness

• his insomnia get worse due to his night job and homeworks

• hide his dark rings with a bit of makeup

• was extremely afraid to wear dresses and skirts, anything for « girls » at school but since 10th grade they found the confidence to wear whatever they want and enjoys it

• loves help Lloyd with his art project when they need a model

• goes to art galleries with Lloyd and anything linked to fashion with Skylor and Cole

• have his right eye that moves more slowly than the other and his right pupil bigger and the left one because of one of the burglar : one of them was about to hit Nya by throwing some glass at her and he got between them to protect his sister and his upper eyes take some glass and that stupid little idiot tried to remove it but only make it worse and now, plus making his vision worse they also have a scar now

• loves going out at night with Cole when they end up high and talk about life and philosophical things in the moonlight

• organise hangouts with the entire friend group to the mall when he has enough money and they always ending up to do a sleepover at someone’s house (usually Jay’s because his parents are the kindest people ever)

• ALWAYS wear one black converse and the other red that he wrote on some lyrics of Lana del Ray « Say yes to me… » and « If you dance,… » that he match with Cole’s converse

• always on energy drinks to stay awake

• have an amazing sense of style and can make a beautiful outfit with the bare minimum, and can spend HOURS in a thrift store

• is a party animal since he can rarely go to parties with his job but those parties usually finished with him fighting or being so high or drunk he can’t even go home (he already spend a night outside bcz of that)

• they hate themselves for being a such problem and « bad brother », for being not mentally stable or economically stable as well

• they stop taking their medicine for their I.E.D because he couldn’t pay for both of his treatments and Lloyd’s ADHD medication

• used to skip meals to feed Nya and Lloyd, sometimes does it when it’s the end of the month and he can barely buy enough food for two persons

• has a HUGE crush on Cole since the beginning of the year

• was afraid for Nya when she gets in her first relationship but relax and learn to trust her and saw there were nothing to be worry about

• their fav artists are Hozier and Lady Gaga

• always ask to their therapist what Lloyd said to her but she always give answers like : "Kai, would you, please, considerate to turn off your big brother mode for an hour ? "

• doesn’t know to swim since they’re hella scared of water

• can plays drums

• definitely a mama’s boy

• has a naturally hotter body temperature

Cole Hence Brookstone

• is 18 y/o

• is in 11th grade because he repeat his 9th grade

• uses he/him and sees himself as a cis man

• gay

• is Algerian on his mother side and Indian on his father side

• fluent speaker in Arabic, Hindi and French and is learning Korean and Spanish

• he’s the second tallest after Zane : he’s between 6’2 and 6’3 (between 1m90 and 1m93)

• always sleeping in classes he found boring because his sleep schedule is a totally mess (goes with Kai in the back of the class and do their nap together)

• he’s the oldest of the group, being born one month before Zane

• doesn’t know what to do after school and he feels anxious about it because all his friends have already some ideas

• writes songs/poems in class in a notebook where he writes about his life/traumas, his thoughts and draws some doodles, he considers it like his diary and never shows it to anyone

• he has been diagnosed with an E.D (boulimia) at 6 and even tho he tried to handle it, he always has like severe periods in a year where he loses a lot of weight and feels extremely tired and bad, at the point he did a depression in 9th grade. It was already hard to get ready for school and go to classes so doing homework and listening to the teachers was almost impossible that’s why he repeated the year

• he get, followed after by Nya and Lloyd when they get 16, a motorcycle licence one week after he got 16. He needed it to drive himself to school since his dad isn’t always at home because of his work and since he’s often drunk he prefers to go by himself

• he smokes and very rarely dr8gs with Kai. Lloyd often ask if he could pay them some cigarettes but Cole never does because 1 : "you’re literally a walking angel alive, you’re too pure for that shit" and 2 : " You want me dead and your siblings in jail ??"

• genuinely DESPISE P.E. class because of the changing room mostly. When he was in 8th grade he has been bullied for being gay and “watching boys changing in P.E.” and has been beaten up by his classmates for that. The year after the boulimia didn’t help and he would constantly comparing himself to other and thought he eat too much and doesn’t do enough sport, adding to that the comments of the P.E. teacher

• never goes outside without his headphones and a pair of earbuds too in case his headphones die

• people usually think he’s tough but actually he’s the kindest and sweetest guy ever and gives the best hugs when you need it

• does sleepovers with Skylor and Vania or just Vania but Nya, Pix and Skylor often invite themselves to the party

• speaks to Skylor in Arabic just to watch others’s faces

• learns Korean to understand Jay and Spanish to understand Kai, Nya and Skylor

• plays guitar and has a band with Morro, Akita and Vania

• he does not sing because he just can’t but he can perfectly do rap and beatbox

• he has daddy issues not due to his family legacy but mostly due to his father who can’t make his grieve of his wife and drink

• can do breakdance but will never do it in high school

• protects Lloyd every times he sees they’re being annoyed

• has a ton of pairs of converse but one black with the lyrics « say yes to heaven » and « I’ll dance » that Kai and him matched

• BIG HUGE fan of Cigarettes after sex (his fav songs of them are Sunsetz and Cry)

• his fav artists are Cigarettes after sex, TV girl, Arctic Monkeys, Conan Gray and Pyo (he’s a little singer go listen to his songs they’re worth it *^*)

• his coming out to his father was an absolute disaster and is one of his biggest traumas : his dad saw him and Kai kissing each other one day, so when he explained that Kai was more than a friend and that he was attracted to men, they had a huge fight while Kai was trying to defend his boyfriend but he had to go outside to calm himself down while he heard the screams and shoutings of the two men. After like a half of an hour, his father decided to kick him out of the house. He had to sleep at the Smith’s. The next day he tried to talk to his dad but he was drunk and told him he had no son, that he was dead and that’s why he threw all his stuff out of the window. Cole just took the stuff that was still intact -which means not a lot- by holding tears and leave the house

• spend two months in a hospital because of his ED which became so severe he lost 15 or 20kg (~33 and 44 ibs), he had a constant headache, was very tired close to the dehydration

• loves skateboarding with Morro and Lloyd

• after getting out of the hospital and tried his best to recover of both his traumas and his ED he get a tattoo for this : a dragon with lilies’s petals and flames

• has a big crush on Kai since middle school and Jay was the first to noticed it

• him and Jay have the most philosophical and deepest conversations ever about love and relationships, at 3am, calling each other on discord and playing horror video games

• studies with Zane (at least tries to) and our poor Zane had to survive to a freaking out lost Cole in math : " WHAT’S x ? WHAT’S y ? WHERE ARE NUMBERS WHEN YOU NEED IT ??!! "

• goes to gym with Zane, Kai and Nya

• mama’s boy club with Kai

Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon

• just turned 16 a few weeks ago

• are in 11th grade too (skipped 1st grade)

• use they/them pronouns and identify as a trans man

• thought they were biromantic and asexual but after a sexuality identity crisis that everyone has been, they discovered they were aroace

• they have autism and ADHD

• is Japanese on his mother side and Chinese on his father side

• can speak Japanese and Spanish thanks to the Smith siblings

• they’re 5’2 (1m57) will have growth spurt and be taller than Kai, being like 5’9-5’10 (1m77)

• they’re the youngest in the group

• has been abandoned by their parents in an orphanage at a very young age because their parents are criminals (i will develop this point later because i have literally no idea for now ;-;) but they ran away because of the way kids were treated. They found Kai after a month to live in the streets and quickly bonded after a talk. Kai decided to help Lloyd after heard their story and brought them home

• when they entered in the first time in a school they’re like 5 and it was in a kindergarten and they feel really different of the others kids, feel lost and overwhelmed by all the social interactions like at the orphanage but worse and cried almost all the morning before a teacher came and help them to calm down. And it was like that for a whole week, Lloyd didn’t wanted to disappoint Kai or Nya or took the risk of being rejected again so the teacher helped them to talk to Kai when he picked them up. Kai contacted a doctor who told them to see a psychiatrist for that case. So Kai contacted his therapist who diagnosed his I.E.Dto make an appointment. She was very kind with Lloyd and after a few months she diagnosed them both autism and ADHD

• are very intelligent but started getting bag grades after 6th grade because of the school system that is absolutely terrible for them with their ADHD and autism

• they’ve been bullied since 5th grade and started developing a school phobia and since they say everything to their siblings, Kai and Nya let them stay at home when they don’t feel like to go to school

• Jay helps them handle their ADHD since he has it too and also gives them tips about their transition since Jay’s also trans. Zane give them advices on their autism since they are autistic

• are extremely good at art and their whole bedroom is literally an art studio with graffiti on their walls, a lot of finished or unfinished paintings and a LOT of sheets filled with sketches and drawings on the floor or on his desk

• own like 6-7 sketchbooks, have started them all but never finished them (yet they still hope to finish them)

• have a few hyperfixations and the biggest ones are definitely sharks and video games (Jay bought them some books about sharks and gives them some of his own video games and Cole some plushies of sharks)

• have two hoodies (one green that looks like a frog and an another black that looks like a cat) that they put on when they feel overwhelmed by the noise around them

• have tried to learn how to play guitar but failed miserably so instead they just play violin and they’re amazingly amazing at it ✨

• have wayyyyyy too much plushies that they found on thrift store, theirs siblings/friends gave them or just found them in public places being lost for days. Lloyd gaves names and pronouns to each of them

• used to wear glasses but always ended up broken either by their bullies or by themselves so Pixal and Zane designed, with the help of their parents contact lenses for their 13th birthday

• vans shoes lover

• have for best friend Akita, a girl in their class and with who they have their best laughs in class. She’s their confidante after Kai and Nya

• often skating with Cole and Morro

• teach Akita how to do skateboarding

• their fav artists are Cavetown, The Neighbourhood, Feldup (mostly known in France even tho his songs are in English) and Hozier (thanks to Kai)

• always draw in class except History and English classes, their fav (they’re kind of history nerd)

• have depression episodes more or less serious but they are cutting themselves during those and try to attempt to k!ll themselves (mostly due to bullying and their poor self esteem)

• when they have nightmares they go to sleep with their favourite plushies in Kai’s bed, with Nya when she does nightmares and they both hug Kai for comfort and warmth because Kai has a naturally hotter body temperature

• often think about how they got adopted by Kai, where and who were their parents and ask themselves why they decided to abandon them, and always end up crying, feeling useless, unworthy and unwanted

That’s it for now !! Hope your day was great if not, i hope your tomorrow will !

The next characters in the next post will be Jay, Nya and Zane ! Hope you enjoyed those headcanons I may considering to make a fanfiction based on it idk anyways bye byeee !!

[rvllybllply2014]

There's only so many people a country can support without sacrificing the poeple who actually fucking live there legally. No, I won't think of the children if their parents came to a country illegally.

There's only 2 options. Deporting the parents and the child, or Deporting just the parents. Leaving the kid alone without their parents seems fucking unhinged, no?

Why are you people so allergic to legal immigration? Do you WANT German Christmas Markets on every corner? Is that it? Do you want women raped and murdered in brought daylight? Do you want people set alight on public transport? Because open borders is how you fucking get it.

Okay here in America, we are on stolen land therefore no one can be illegal. No human is illegal especially when the borders crossed them, like they did in America. “Illegal” undocumented immigrants/workers pay more into taxes,social security, Medicare and Medicaid than Americans and billionaire/millionaires do while also being unable to access them. America has fucked up a lot of countries especially in the global south, they don’t want to have to leave their own countries to come here but they have no choice. Parents will do anything to keep their children safe. Sometimes women are human trafficking victims that can’t leave and are raped or ever hear of mail order brides? They can be abused and forced to have babies too, they’re scared to leave their marriages because their status hinges on being married to an American. Children are inherently innocent and vulnerable, they are also our future.

If we deported immigrants the economy would collapse, birth rates would be non existent. We wouldn’t have food on our tables, people wouldn’t have maids/gardeners, or nannies, roofers ,road construction workers, construction workers. I have yet to see any American frothing at the mouth for those jobs. Yeah let’s totally separate families like Germany did in the 1930s, or like America did when slavery was legal, or like Israel does. Children shouldn’t be deported especially if they’re born here and parents have the right to seek asylum. So you want Trumps children deported right? Since they’re all children of immigrants. Hell if Trump gets rid of the 14th amendment then he should also be deported, his grandfather was a German immigrant and his grandmother was a Scottish immigrant. The 14th amendment was also so that slaves could gain citizenship after the American civil war. It was later interpreted by the Supreme Court to include children born of immigrants to also have automatic citizenship after a Chinese American man in the late 1800s, left to visit his family in China and was denied reentry into his own country.

No one is allergic to legal immigration. Asylum seekers have the right to seek asylum in any country they can. Why are you so afraid of immigrants? What would be wrong with having a German Christmas market? Do you not want to share cultures with others? For me it sounds assume that people come here and share their cultures with us. As a third generation Mexican American woman and whose other side literally helped found this country no. But undocumented immigrants aren’t out here raping women in broad daylight as a whole. They want to stay under the radar, the only way to do that is to oh I don’t know not commit crime. Most women are raped by Americans. It’s also unfortunate that an unhoused woman was killed by an undocumented immigrant who was probably suffering from mental illness.

So here’s the last thing I’m going to say to you anon and this is nicer than what I really want to say. If you’re so anti immigration do not eat anything but bland food, or maybe if you can stomach it find indigenous people and ask them for their ancestral knowledge on how to properly cook “American” food. Learn how to sew your own clothes after you learn how to create cloth and thread. Immigrants are not and have never been the problem. At some point your family were also immigrants and they came over when it was easier to immigrate to this country, unless they were Asian or Italian or Irish. Also if you’re religious at all, I’m pretty sure all religions tell you to love your fellow human so do that. Have the day you deserve anon.

[stonesylove]

A night out in Berlin pt.6

"The brutal dictator of Panem"

Chapter 5 - Chapter 7

Aleesandra started to get a bit of anxiety, she invited him out of an impulse to her home and now she had to tidy things up a bit because she wanted to give a nice impression even though he’s been there already but still wanted to tease him a little so she did what she knew best, she took a cute mirror selfie with her her sexy “pajama”, only men could thing women sleep that way overnight but it does the trick and she just wanted to play with the thoughts of Tom; Alessandra heard the a knocking on her door and she knew it must be him so she ruined to open the door to find Tom standing with a pizza box “Don’t lie to me I know you’re cold” he said smiling to her, “come inside because the heat will get out” Alessandra said while grabbing his hadn’t and pulling him inside, “that’s something a grandma would’ve said” Tom was making fun of her and maybe he was right but also it was true, “now I got cold, let me grab a sweater so we can eat”.

When she was back from her room with a huge sweater on that looked like a dress, Alessandra saw how Tom was looking at her in the sweetest way possible and it made her heart skip a beat because who wouldn’t get lost in those eyes, “so pretty boy, you got me pizza?” She said trying to end the tension that was building up, “No my love, it’s Mexican food but they put it in pizza box” he said in the most sarcastic way possible while opening the box and helping her put the plates on the small table, “Fuck you Tom” she said trying to act offended, “I’ll let you fuck me but let’s eat first” he said trying to make her laugh; they were talking and eating, making jokes about each other and acting offended until they could hold the laugh anymore.

“So in a more serious matter, you never told me why did you chose Berlin?” Tom asked her trying to get the conversation to a more deep level, “Well it’s not something crazy, I always knew I wanted to be a professional dancing but also I wanted to travel the world and Giuli was on the same page as me, in the south we usually move out of our parents house until we get married or we get a stable job and we both were craving independence, don’t get me wrong I love my parents but they’re a little over protective so we applied to couple of companies and the Staatsballett was the first one to give us a call back so we packed our bags and move out here with our savings and now we’re exploring our options in other countries” Alessandra tried explaining the best she could to the man infant of her, she loved the way he always pay attention to anything she said, “And where do you want to go next” Tom said while grabbing another slice of pizza, “Maybe London or New York but I’m staying here until spring so like 5 more months” she said, “New York is a beautiful place to live and not only because I live there” Tom said making her laugh, “So why did you choose Julliard?” Alessandra asked him, “if you keep googling me we will run out of conversation topics but my dad was a tv producer and I always loved the classics, somehow I was also seeking that independence” Tom explained himself, “Google is free and I will keep on using it” Alessandra said laughing about it.

The pair decided to sit on the couch and watch the first hunger game move, Tom was already feeling like he was home and took of his sweater and brought blanket ou to the cuddle the short girl, Alessandra was so focussed on the movie but she was desperate to make one of her jokes that she knew he didn’t like so she broke the silence saying, “ I can’t believe I fucked the brutal dictator of Panem” First tom was shocked with what came out of her mouth but after he couldn’t stop laughing about her random thoughts, “In my defense I’m not the dictator just yet” Tom said while catching his breathe, Alessandra turned her face to see him about to make another of her bad jokes but she was caught off guard when he kissed her, it was one of those kisses that you feel like you need those lips to feel alive, the way both of them moved in perfect synchrony felt like they were made for each other, Tom pulled her closer deepening the kiss to what Alessandra said trying to catch some air “I was about to make another joke”, “I know, shut up” he said while grabbing her by the hips and making her seat on him, the kiss kept going and it didn’t felt like they needed to have sex right away it felt like a way of connecting until she started to feel something growing in his pants, Tom grabed her ass tighter and she knew that was going to leave a mark but who’ll care about that, it was a more exciting feeling that he was going to mark her up, Alessandra broke the kiss to start making a path of little kisses from his jaw to his neck while swinging her hips, dancing on his cock, it was making him get harder and harder, “don’t do that because I won’t be able to stop” Tom said having trouble to breath normally, “I want you” Alessandra answered while putting her hands in the back of his neck and kissing him again, he grabbed her ass to stand up and started walking towards her bedroom.

Tom sat on her bed meanwhile Alessandra was still on top of him, Tom broke the kiss and took the huge sweater off to see that the top of her pajama moved around and her breast was almost completely showing, “you knew what you were doing” he said while grabbing one of her tits and putting it in his mouth, Alessandra started moaning while being in shock with the situation she wasn’t thinking clearly when she heard the doorbell ringing, both quickly distanced themselves and Alessandra remembered that she didn’t live alone and that her best friend might be standing outside like a fool.”COMING!!” Alessandra shouted while putting her sweater back on and running to open the door, when she was opening the door tom screamed that he was going to the bathroom, “I can tell you were busy” Giuliana said while raising her brows making fun of her friend to what Alessandra noticed that she had put on her sweater inside out, “Guess tom is home” Giuli said laughing at the look of her friend that was blushing like a little kid that did something wrong.

“I was talking to my mom in the way here and your mom was there, she told me that they are planning to come for the first show of the season” Giuliana said putting her stuff down in the entryway, “OH MY GOD THAT’S SO EXCITING” Alessandra said forgetting for a second the awkward moment with her friend in that moment Tom got out of the only bathroom in the small apartment, “Hi, first time we see each other outside of the club” Giuliana said greeting Tom, “Yeah and if you think it’s Ale’s fault” he said while hugging in a friendly way Giuliana; even though Tom did’t want to be an inconvenience both girls asked him to stay and get dinner with them, the three stayed up all night playing poker until Alessandra lost way too many times and brought out another table game, it was one of those nights that you dream of, it was full of laughs, bad jokes and fight over the game and when it was like 2 am Tom got up of the table and told the pair that he had to go back to his hotel because he had to be on set at 7 am so obviously he needed his stuff, Alessandra wished he stay the night but she understood why he couldn’t, they said bye to each other with one of those kisses that only lovers give to each other. Alessandra went to bed but first she posted and ig story of them playing monopoly because it was worth remembering and showing.

Alessandra Di Maggio posted a story

The next day Alessandra went to the studio and practiced alone for the auditions she had and kept thing about how her parents were going to visit and that was the sweetest gesture they could do, support her on her dreams and she wished that tom could be there, maybe not the same night as her parents because her mom would ask way too many questions and her dad wasn’t that nice with men around her, Alessandra decided to stop for a bit and check her phone, and pf course she had a couple of texts from Tom as known as the brutal dictator of Panem and the sexiest cowboy on earth.

My Brutal dictator (Tom)

That was such a beautiful night wish I could’ve stayed

But you’re the biggest sore loser

Alessandra Di Maggio

You are a liar 

Hope you liked hanging with Giuli and I know we had other plans

My Brutal dictator (Tom)

Not everything is about sex, I had a great night and I used the opportunity to know how bad you’re at playing cards

Alessandra Di Maggio

Just lies

Btw if you’re still in Germany by that time you could come to one of the shows, if you have the time

My Brutal dictator (Tom)

I can’t promise you that because of how things can change so quickly on set but I will see what I can do

The cast is planning on a karaoke night, do you want to come pretty girl?

Alessandra Di Maggio 

I might be a tiny dancer but I’m not a tiny singer 

I’ll go just for you, we usually hang out with my friends and never with yours 

My Brutal dictator (Tom)

Also what was the other joke

Alessandra Di Maggio 

That you’re the sluttiest man ever

Your waist is so small

And I’ve seen a lot of waist in my job

Maybe I can go to you hotel room and you can show it to me but you need to bring out your whip and hat

My Brutal dictator (Tom)

Do you have a cowboy kink???

Because your obsession it’s not normal 

Alessandra Di Maggio 

You are the first cowboy I’ve ever met even though you’re a fake one

and I don’t know when I’ll meet another one or a real one

I don’t owe you an explanation

My Brutal dictator (Tom)

Whatever you say pretty girl

Let’s get dinner tonight, I’ll pick you up at 9 pm

[grenade-maid]

Man what the fuck. I was starting to cool down on Akiba Maid War after the writing and animation took a serious dip around the halfway mark (The baseball game and Lady Omoe race being pretty bad in particular) but the final stretch was so good that I’m honestly kind of in disbelief that it could end so strong. They killed one of my favorite characters of the last decade, and yet pulled off the leadup and aftermath with such confidence that it couldn’t have gone any other way and remained as good.

And I dunno! I think it’s kind of amazing that they came in with a clutch slide to home base with the maid/yakuza mashup actually lending something interesting to the otherwise by the numbers plot beats. After all, when someone in a gangster story implores everyone to stop the brutality, no matter how heartfelt they are and how well its written, at the end of the day it’s not quite going to fully connect because, well, they’re gangsters. No matter how much any one of those stories might be about brotherhood and trust, at the end of the day even if they do set aside their passions and vow to put down their weapons, they are still thugs who make a living through extortion, intimidation, and exploiting others. So the fact that it’s about maid cafes instead of actual organized crime gives them the leeway for it to actually resonate when Nagomi implores everyone to stop hurting one another and hold onto what being a maid is all about. Because unlike being a mobster, you can say much more genuinely that there’s something special and comforting about dressing up cute, making friends, and having fun. Even if actually working service jobs in real life mostly fucking sucks, those high points are still not only possible but are something a lot of the audience can probably relate to in some way compared to the supposed meaningful interpersonal connections formed by loan sharking and breaking kneecaps that you can only imagine a mobster might be reminiscing about when he talks about how good the old days were. 

In general I usually hate stories about revenge and the cycle of violence. Because they’re usually either too misanthropic for me to actually give a shit about any of the people whose violence catches up to them, or they’re so twee about everyone just up and holding hands and letting bygones be bygones that they’re just kind of exhausting. In this case, though, I dunno, it kinda worked for me. As silly as the setup is, it was a perfect way of quickly establishing why every single person in the maid world constantly has a gun pointed at each other. And the fact that this world is in such a constant state of Mexican standoff makes it easy to understand how all of them would feel justified in pulling the trigger every time it happened. If I don’t kill them they’ll kill me or my friends, if I don’t kill them they’ll sink this ship and take everyone down with them, if I don’t kill them they’ll get away with the damage they’ve done, if I don’t kill them my authority will be undermined and someone else will kill me because of it, etc etc. The same is true of many crime stories. But, again, crucially, the fact that anyone here is genuinely sympathetic and that a better world is actually possible allows for it to connect on an emotional level. After all, those fuckers killed Nerula and then Ranko and the ramen guy, how would they not be justified in killing them right back?

The fact that despite her wavering Nagomi still holds firm to wanting to stop the violence doesn’t hit the mark because we see repeatedly how someone getting revenge inevitably leads to them getting killed in bloody retribution too, thus telling us that further vengeance will simply perpetuate the cycle. Nor does it hit the mark because of her willingness to martyr herself despite vengeance being justified. It works because she shows both the head maid/mob-boss and the audience exactly what she’s trying to protect: the experience of having some silly fun dressing up, playing pretend, and singing and dancing with your friends. And on that, they don’t undercut it, the song and dance is just genuinely fun and well put together!

It’s something small and trivial, and honestly it’s the smallness and triviality of it that makes it work for me. Because fuck, truly, what do we keep on living for? Do we wake up every day just to eat a requisite number of calories such that we can go to sleep and wake up again? When your back is up against the wall and you’re fighting tooth and nail, are you fighting just in hopes that you can survive so tomorrow you can be at it again but with your back against a different wall? Or do we live for the moments of joy and heartfelt connection--even if there’s a lot of pain in between? It’s small trivial stuff, but that’s also what got taken when Ranko and Nerula are killed. It’s never seeing your friend smile, sharing cute hair ties, playing baseball, or celebrating birthdays ever again. That friendship and trivial joy is what Nagi rejected by choosing strength instead. For Nagomi to make the choice to embrace that, even while literally staring down the barrel of a gun, even after being shot, hit me in a way I really didn’t expect coming into this.

Hit me in a way I didn’t expect just like that bitch Nagi didn’t expect a bamboo spear straight through the chest!!!!! Bitch!!!!!

Honestly it would have been pretty fun and a perfectly good ending to see Nagomi finally snap and end everything with a straight up massacre like the first episode, taking up Ranko’s bloody mantle. It would have been a good ending if they’d cut after Nagi finished emptying the cylinder into Nagomi at the close of her song. It would have been a good ending if they’d cut after one of Nagi’s underlings decided to say fuck this and shot her after witnessing all that.

But that followed by Panda hucking the spear and then hard cut to black with the credits music was INSANE. Honestly one of my favorite endings to a series I’ve ever seen. And even that would have been enough! But the post-credits jump to the future where Nagomi’s’ two still-living former fans come to visit the cafe again, showing that Akiba is no longer wracked by violent conflict, and that she survived and is still maiding it up in a wheelchair, having just turned the age Ranko was before she died? Usually I’m not one for post credits scenes, I’m ESPECIALLY not one for post credit scenes that come in to say no don’t worry! The final scene didn’t actually have consequences! But this one felt absolutely *chef’s kiss* because, well, shit, it did have consequences, both nice ones and hard ones! And not only that, it wasn’t just that Nagomi asked so so so nicey and everyone just decided yeah okay we’ll stop killing each other. It’s like, well, yeah, she did get through to them, but to end that brutal way of structuring things they still had to use violence to break that system such as by icing Nagi. And the two don’t contradict!

At the end of the day, would I say that Akiba Maid War is nuanced, complex, or deep? No, not really. Would I say it’s well written? In some places yes, and in other places no. But it’s sure as hell a whole lot of fun, is a great example of parody giving room to expand on the source material it’s riffing on to go places that the original stuff can’t, and by the end carries it all with surprisingly heartfelt confidence. This shit fucking owns, my dudes.

[oolong-strawbby]

I always wondered how my slapdash, dawn-written, hot take essays would get high marks from my english and literature teachers.

It wasn’t until I entered college, helped correct my friends’ and classmates’ essays, that I realised that the reasons why my teachers seemed so relieved when it came to me.

The bar is so low it’s not even off the ground.

When it’s bad, it is so so horrific.

No shit. These essays are not even being re-read by the student writing it themselves. They’re made for an audience of no one. By teens who had to get up, bleary-eyed, at the crack of dawn while juggling assignments from 7-8 other subjects.

I only wrote like that because I had fun writing. Other people would rather die than go through that again in their 20s.

I guess the difference is that quality suffers when what you do is treated more of an obligation. And you, the worker, some product on a shelf, replaceable as the last.

Those Japanese or Thai artisans you respect soooooo much are only able to put their utmost bussy into every facet of their craft because they are making an active choice to pursue it in an era that disregards high quality, in exchange for slop funnelled out as inhumanly fast as possible.

Laud all you want at the overworked barista or teacher because “hey even if you aren’t being paid well, take some pride and do your job well” in lieu of the sweet old Mexican cochineal bug farmer, or the wise calligraphy ink craftsman in Japan’s Nara prefecture.

(yes I have been watching Business Insider channel)

In another life, those coworkers you only know in short glimpses would’ve also liked to be a lovely mentor whose students show obvious progress, or just puts care into whatever shit they like, because they have the time and ability to support themselves.

Capitalism. Yeah that’s pretty much it. It’s been a while since I short circuited back to that lmao,

My boyfriend realises this too. How he saw this metal craftsman sitting on a street in Thailand at night just tinkering with these beautiful, delicate, monstrously difficult sculptures that engulfed the size of his torso, and knew the guy wasn’t even doing it to be paid. He’d just be doing it anyway.

And I told him, how sad it is, that we don’t have that same kind of artisan culture here in Singapore, where someone makes it their life, hell, their family’s trade, to just be good at one thing.

That one thing could either be food, art, tools, growing things, getting materials.

Nature is reduced to a mere concept here.

The lines of hands are not welcome here, instead lined with wire. It’s all wrapped in artifice and hubris. No wonder my friends are so sick of this country.

But if we do have remnants of that culture, it’s all from our elders who descended from China or our neighbours.

We do not cultivate the love of craft.

Or autismos. Oh thank god for them. Autists are universally the only vanguards of culture left. So intensely concentrated with this obsessive drive to catalogue, create and crack solutions to the most minute issues, that they are our modern artisans.

All culture trickles down from them now. Too bad their interests take them usually to just obsessing over locomotives, internet memes, or the average children’s programme.

Oh and being the backbone of Wikipedia in the form of unpaid investigative journaling and editing.

Supremely invaluable to the human race for that. Plus data/record keeping.

[jodilin65]

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 31, 2007 Yesterday I got 38 more 10-packs, so now they owe me 95 more. Kepa said the rest of my order would arrive Friday or Saturday.

I sent a couple of emails to the lady who said she’d have a Nikita doll to sell me in February but haven’t gotten a reply. So, either something’s come up to prevent her from getting her messages, or she sold the ones she said she’d have available. If I don’t hear from her by the 2nd, the day we plan to order her, I’ll order this beautiful Indian doll from Ashton-Drake I’ve had my eyes on for some time now. She’ll be my last Oregon goodie, then it’s save, save, save.

There weren’t any good races to bet on today, but starting tomorrow, Tom hopes to make at least a few hundred a week as we’ve agreed that going down with 5 grand should be sufficient enough, and this doesn’t count what we save from his job. I just hope we’re not being teased with the races! I also hope that when we do go, God, or something else up there, will care enough about us this time around to look out for us. At least we’ll have the bamboos to help. We’ve also agreed that even if the horses do work out and start spitting out lots of money, we don’t need to have all the money we’d need to buy or build a house available the day we move down there as we’d need time to figure out the best place to do this in.

We both can’t wait to get the fuck out of here! We’re both sick to death of this house, he hates his job, and I’m sick to death of the fucking cold! Not much snow this year, but it still gets pretty damn cold. The good news is that it’s to start warming up soon. This weekend should be in the mid-50s.

Tom saw the Mexicans playing fix-it on a couple of pickups in the yard earlier, but there was no music. He said he saw them when he went to get the mail, but couldn’t hear anything in his room.

I came back from the cruise at 136 pounds, then dropped to 129. Then I ate my way back up to 132, then yesterday I resumed the hard-core dieting where I’m nearly starving. I’m already back down to 130 and I hope to get to 125 within a few days. I thought I’d try dieting in intervals. So if I can get to 125, I’ll then eat my way back up to 128, then try to drop to 121. I don’t know if it will work, but we’ll see.

MONDAY, JANUARY 29, 2007 He went to get me an inhaler which I like to keep on hand just in case, and it turns out they’ve stopped selling them because people abuse those too, so he ordered me one online. I’m sick of having to be put out because other people just have to abuse things! Anybody can abuse anything so why don’t they just stop selling everything in the world if they’re that worried? I say if someone wants to abuse something – let them. It’s their lives/bodies. But no, we just have to live in a controlling world where everything’s always gotta be one way or the other!

Lez is gone. I hated to have her final moments be so drawn out and painful, but it’s not easy to kill a rat who’s not only terrified of people but who knows you’re trying to kill it. I had to chase her around the cage and knock her out with a stick since I couldn’t take hold of her and simply throw her outdoors.

My incense arrived Friday with 68 of the 201 scents I ordered. Kepa said that due to the order being so large, they’re sending multiple packages. They didn’t want to wait till the order was complete to send it. I don’t know when the next one is to arrive or how many more packages they’re going to break it up into, but I’m enjoying what I have so far.

I completed day 8 of the 9-day money spell, and Tom hopes to resume racing on Wednesday. For now, he’s fine-tuning the program he’s writing. I hope this helps because the spell we did for his shoulder pain hasn’t helped. I don’t know if it’s because it’s the wrong spell or the wrong colored ribbon or what, but the more he uses it, the more pain he’s in. He says he’s pretty sure it’s a ligament problem. I’m wondering if he’ll need to see a doctor after we’ve moved and maybe even need surgery. Either way, I’m not going to bother doing the Liz spell if the money spell turns out to be a bust, but this one certainly seems more promising. Especially since I’m doing precisely what the spell calls for.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 26, 2007 Figures. They want $50 to do a money spell on me. No thanks. I’d rather try to learn to perform my own spells. We couldn’t know that these people were for real anyway. There are quacks in every field. Tomorrow Tom’s going to pick up the appropriate candles and then I’ll attempt the lottery/gambling spell while he writes the program that’ll read the racing info he’s to download.

He saw Liz and got a good look at her. Says she’s 7-8 months pregnant. 7-8 months?! Where did this come from so fast? Are there two Liz’s like there were two Tinas?

I had to reconsider the fact that Liz may not be a good candidate to test my friendship spell on if she’s preoccupied with having an animal, but I can’t think of anyone else better. Therefore, I’ve decided to try the spell on her. If it fails I’ll try it on Estella. If that fails too, then I’ll try a different spell on either a problem neighbor, a mean boss he may get, or someone good-looking down in Sacramento. Whichever comes first.

I’m back up to 132 pounds. By accident they discovered the area of the brain where smoking addiction is and hope to shut down that part to help people quit, so when are they going to come up with a way to fix broken metabolisms? Unlike most people, I can’t lose weight by simply “cutting back” or “watching what I eat.” I have to practically starve. And then it comes right back as soon as I eat. In another decade I won’t be able to get under 140 pounds, no doubt! It just gets worse and worse every few years. But I like to save money and rock easier, so after pigging out today, I’m going to go back to starving tomorrow. I’ve looked for willpower spells to no avail, so I’ll just have to tough it out on my own.

I emailed a local taxidermist and told them I have a pet rat who isn’t very nice; how much would it cost to stuff her? If the price is right, maybe I’ll let her get big, put off the Nikita doll I was to order on the 2nd and have her stuffed. If not, I’ll just kill the bitch and get a squirrel in California.

I’m pleased to learn that affixing labels to the incense bags at Silk Splash is now standard routine, thanks to my recommendation, as Elliot put it. They sure are more convenient than those stapled cards they started off with. Tomorrow my incense should be here. Can’t wait!

Later…

The taxidermist doesn’t do pets, they just told me, so the execution’s still on for Monday. Tom said he wants the weekend to try to play with her because he needs a break from working on this or that, but why play with an animal that simply isn’t friendly? He just doesn’t want me to get rid of her, but that’s just too bad. He’s got no choice because if there’s anything I can’t stand it’s having a pet that won’t let me handle them.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 25, 2007 I sent a review of the cruise to both Renee at the cruise company Cruises and Nancy at the Blues Festival magazine, and boy did I get quite a reply from Nancy! There are some very sensitive people in this world! She said she wanted to take a few days to come up with just the right words to say to me (and she’s supposed to be a writer?) and while she said she’s sorry I had a terrible time, she then went on to brag all about Delbert and his friends and how she would have gotten my cabin space if I hadn’t entered “just to win something.”

In my reply, I told her I didn’t say I had a “terrible” time, just not a great one. I also pointed out that I couldn’t have possibly known how the entertainment was going to be till I heard it and that I never said the performers were bad, they just weren’t all that good. This doesn’t mean I don’t realize the fact that most people admire them, I told her, and pointed out that it’s just a matter of personal preference. Where some people dislike the color pink, some find it lovely. Some don’t like blueberries, some do. And no, I didn’t want to “just win something.” Had I been psychic enough to have known I wouldn’t find it as fun as I’d hoped, I’d have gladly given her my cabin space and taken the money instead, I told her when she insisted I hadn’t read the rules and how they’d have paid me $500 instead. I did read them, I told her, but because I sincerely believed the food, entertainment and service would be much better than it was, I had no reason to pass it up. I also always wanted to go on a cruise and knew this may be my only chance.

Then she goes on to say that if we want something bad enough, we usually get it. Really? Well, I didn’t tell her this because I don’t need to defend myself to her, but how come I didn’t get the baby I once wanted if we get something as long as we want it bad enough? How come I never made it as the singer I once wanted to be? How come I never had true lust? Why did Tom and I spend so much time being broke no matter how hard we worked? And why am I still living in a dump in the city with the freeloaders and other losers while that peaceful, secluded, new house remains forever out of reach?

She goes on and on crying how this may have “cost us our contract with the cruise company and radio station.” She also said, “I wish it had been legal to cull through contest entries and remove people like yourself from winning; leaving in the contest database only those thousands of people who would gladly have been in your shoes. And the sad part is how many people who would have liked to win, but didn’t even bother to enter because they didn’t think they stood a chance (yeah, that’s how it always goes cuz life’s not fair. It’s those who want/deserve a particular thing that doesn’t get it while those who don’t are the ones who do get it, but what can we do about it?). Their chances would have been better if our database wasn’t littered with ‘professional contest enterers’. Hope you learned a lesson from this experience. We certainly did. And if we don’t get to give away a cruise ever again, well… blues fans will be paying the price for your mistake for years to come….. thanks.”

As for having no story to print, I struck back with the fact that she does have a story to print, this email and my last one. It’s just that she chooses not to print it because she didn’t like what I had to say. And as for blues fans to pay for my “mistake” for years to come – get real! Nobody ever pays for anything I do. It’s always me that pays for what they do!

Lastly, I told her please don’t waste her time replying again because as soon as I see it’s from her or about the cruise, the delete button gets hit. There’s no point in going back and forth with each other as we’ve both said our pieces. So as long as she doesn’t make trouble for me and cause me to react, she won’t hear anything further from me.

The only thing she said that worried me was that we’d get a form to pay yet more taxes on the damn thing in ‘08.

Tom said that when he last saw Liz, he could be wrong, but yeah, he thinks she is pregnant. She can kiss that hot body goodbye if she is. It’s kind of sad. I mean, even if she’s mature for her age and has a man who will stand by her and do his part and has money, she’s awfully young and it seems like such a shame to throw your life away like that. It’d be ending your life at any age, but still, it just seems like such a waste of youth. I guess we all have our priorities in life, though.

He said she keyed in the two 5-gallon water jugs manually, then asked him to lift them off the belt for her, though those suckers are heavy. The only thing I don’t get is why she’d be working on her feet all day if she were pregnant. Either way, it may explain why she’s fuller in the face and neck. She can’t be more than 5-6 months along if she is, and if so, I definitely won’t be sending any letter from California. What would be the point? On the off-chance that she may care to respond, she wouldn’t have time to if she’s bogged down with a kid.

We’re going to be in the 40s all week, but Springfield sure isn’t! They’re looking at single-digit lows and highs in the teens! But both Maricopa and Sacramento are to be in the 60s.

With the exception of when I’m trying to save money and maintain my weight, I’m stopping the diet for the most part. I just can’t get my calories any lower which is what I’d need to do to lose any more weight, and so without a properly working metabolism, It’d take forever the way I’ve been going. I’d just put it right back on anyway. In just one day of having 1500 cals, I’m already up two pounds.

Although the wireless connection did okay the first night, it did start cutting out on me and I got sick of having to fight to get back online when it would time out on me, so since he had to string wires across the bathroom anyway so my computers could talk, we put me back on the wired network.

This bitch of a rat, Lez, is so gone after Tom wastes his time trying to get her to be more sociable over the weekend. I tell you, they don’t change. Once timid, always timid. Once vicious, always vicious. Once friendly, always friendly. It’d be like Tinkerbell all of a sudden being afraid of people – yeah, right! I don’t want any antisocial pets, so she’s outa here soon.

I had a very disturbing dream last night that I hope to hell doesn’t mean anything. I had a horrible dream before we left too, where I was taking a shower in some warehouse of some kind. The shower, for some reason, was way up high at maybe 15’ or so. Tom had to climb up to help me down when I was done showering, and as he did, we both began to fall, but I awoke before we hit the ground.

Well, if I interpreted it correctly, this dream symbolized the trouble to come with the rough trip, the pipes breaking, etc.

In last night’s dream, I was visiting Tom in jail and asked him if he thought he’d be there for years. When he said “yes,” I felt sickened at the idea of not being able to hug each other or do things together. Then I realized I couldn’t keep this place going or store our stuff anywhere, so I said, “You know I can’t survive on my own, so I have to do it,”

He nodded sadly, knowing what “do it” meant.

When Tom got home he assured me all was fine. Hopefully, no vindictive blacks will cry racism at work and set him up either!

I did hear back from one of the spell site people. They said that since the free spells were gathered from wherever they couldn’t tell me if improvising would be okay or not. They said I could send them my details with any questions I may have and she’ll check my stars for me, so I sent my DOB, race, and where I’ve lived to her. I then explained how we lost the Arizona house and seem to be trapped in the city with nothing but noisy neighbors with the exception of just a couple, and that we’ve spent most of our marriage struggling. Then I went on to explain a little about EFO and the plans to buy or build a house in a quiet area, asking if this would ever come to pass. I wanted to know if she thought we’d still struggle for the most part, have a little extra money, or get rich. I told her not to worry about telling me anything I didn’t want to hear either.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2007 We moved my office into the bedroom and set up the wireless connection. I’m amazed at how reliable it’s been so far.

Nothing from next door since the night they returned from being out of town, but I’ll at least be a little further away when they do start up again. We went to Safeway again (no Liz again either) and there were 2 cars when we went to the store, and 3 when we came back, all with California plates. That’s it, God, move all the Mexicans up from California to here so we won’t have to deal with their shit when we get down there!

Since the floors are tilted all throughout the house in various ways, this time instead of being tipped forward in my desk chair, I’m slightly tipped backward. I’m kind of cramped in here too, but I like it here better. All I have to do is hope God won’t coax Kim to move to Eugene earlier and replace her with some new nightmare. Speaking of Kim, I may have to ask her to move her trash from the gate or let me take bags to the dumpster for her because Pacific Power is being a pain about reading the meter. We thought they came into our gate in front and were complaining about the fallen rose trellis in the letter they sent before the cruise, but when they sent another one, we theorized that they have a new meter reader that’s trying to go through her gate and can’t cuz of all the shit she’s got in the way. Tom’s going to call them first and see what they say, but we shouldn’t be held responsible just because she’s too lazy to take her trash to the dumpster.

Anyway, I’m a little cold being in this corner by exterior walls, but I’m using one of the spare continuous-run heaters that have more power and that helps. Meanwhile, I use my wimpy one with the thermostat for sleeping or whenever it feels like warming up. We’ve been back up in the 40s, so that’s good. And being in here gets me further away from the damn dogs, too. We blew a fuse earlier by running both our heaters at once on the same side of the house. God better compensate us for having to live like this!

We might one day be able to compensate ourselves, though it could take many years if EFO doesn’t work out or he has trouble getting at least an adequate-paying job in California. I’m not going to get my hopes up but Tom found this company that finances 5% of land and building materials so you don’t have to get a loan or make a huge down payment. We want to do most of the work on our own anyway. We want to do everything we can do ourselves that won’t require inspection.

I could now get dental and vision coverage through his job, but it wouldn’t save us as much as real insurance would. I’ve decided I can still see okay enough with these glasses and that I’ll suffer a little longer with the teeth so we can get out of here faster.

I’ve also decided to get down to 118 pounds and hold it for a week so I can get this decorative pot from Ashton-Drake. Remember, we’re giving ourselves $5 for every pound lost, and so the $90 I’ll need is motivating me to keep going when I wasn’t sure if I wanted to or not. I’m back to 129, so I’ve got a ways to go. To speed things up I’d like to cut my calories even lower than the 500-700 I’ve been averaging, but I don’t know if I can. What I’m doing now can be hard enough as it is, though it got a little easier after the first week.

Later…

I went online to see if I could find any spells to help keep me motivated on my diet, and it turns out we’re sort of doing what they recommend already! They have a weight-loss spell by selling pounds. All you have to do is get two people together and have the one who wants to buy the pounds pay the person selling them. Then they shake hands and the deal is done. It usually takes a week or so, and ten pounds is about all you can transfer at a time.

I also found a hex removal spell, though Tom feels the spell we did at the duplex was sufficient enough, even though one can never remove all bad things from their life.

The spell I definitely want to try is one of the lottery/gambling spells I found that needs to be done outdoors when the moon is full. There are indoor ones too, but we need to get some candles first in the appropriate colors. Tom said that’d be no problem.

There’s also a spell to prevent diseases (although if I came down with some deadly disease I wouldn’t have to kill myself when the going got rough!), and one for pain. He’s been having shoulder pain lately, but there’s one ingredient I don’t have for the best spell I found and that’s a dark blue ribbon. I emailed the lady and told her what colors I had. If she says none of them will do, we’ll get a dark blue one. I guess some spells you can improvise, some you can’t.

I could never want sex bad enough to do one of the ones I read to increase my libido. You have to wear a red dress when your period starts and you can’t wear underwear, pads or tampons. Then you have to play with yourself or have your partner do it while you tell yourselves you want to always feel that way, and this has to go on for 4 hours!

Two more bum wins, but at least they’re coming. A bottle of dull nail polish and a kids’ bible CD set so they can learn to hate others who are different than them while they’re young. If we don’t have to sell stuff like that before we move, they’re really going to wonder what the hell we were doing with that when they come to clean things out in this place! Even funnier is when the next people in here call to tell them the refrigerator’s not working!

MONDAY, JANUARY 22, 2007 The Mexicans just let me know they’re back. I heard the steady beat of the bass and got up to look out the window. I saw headlights glowing from the other side of the house towards the back, then lights went on inside the house. The music played for 3 minutes. It was semi-soft and wouldn’t have woken me up, but was still distracting and annoying. Had the thing been playing on this side of the house, though, it would’ve been totally obnoxious. One of us has to go. I can’t go through this shit all over again. If we’re here when it’s warm and First Choice can’t shut them up, they’re gonna be utterly maddening to live with! I don’t trust my temper after going through what I went through in Phoenix. I’m afraid I’ll hurt or even kill them if we either don’t move or First Choice can’t shut them up. They’re Mexicans, goddamnit! No matter how nicely you ask them to do something, they just thumb their noses at you in defiance. They go out of their way to do just the opposite without a care in the world for anyone else around them. Even if they knew a complaint would get them evicted – fine, they don’t care. They can just as easily move and do the same shit somewhere else.

Later…

Now the house is dark. Guess they’ve gone to bed so they can be out at 9:00 in the morning fixing cars and blasting music.

Maybe I should move my office into the bedroom. I’d rather that than be run out before we’re ready to leave.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 21, 2007 I can now finally get caught up on the current stuff and cover our first week back home, but believe me when I say that most of it isn’t good. We’re only just now getting our lives back in order. I’ve been too stressed, depressed, pissed or busy to write till now as I’ve been catching up on sweeps and documenting the trip.

The trip is almost completely covered now except for the few worst things to happen, along with after disembarkment which took forever. I’ll get that out of the way first.

Tom pissed me off with the sex again. We were lying in bed together talking and he seemed horny, believe it or not, telling me I owed him since he knew I wasn’t feeling well at the time. Then I got mad a few days later and pointed out that he was all talk and no action, reminding him that it wasn’t the lack of sex that bothered me, but the saying one thing and doing another. Then he too, got upset, insisting there’d been no opportunity. Well, this isn’t totally true, though almost. He could’ve gotten me between problems, but yes, I did have my share of them. Aside from tooth pain and tiredness, there was my period, followed by me waking up nauseous as hell one night because I had eaten so much the day before. I didn’t puke, but I was close and felt yucky for a while.

Lastly, I had my first cold in 10 years! It was a wimpy one seeing that I was never bedridden like I used to be when I’d get colds, but I was pretty out of it. I wasn’t even sure I had a cold at first. Allergies have cold-like symptoms so I thought that was it and blamed it on exhaustion as well. First I sneezed and had a sore throat, then I became congested and felt very rundown. Hope I go another decade without a cold! What was strange was that I predicted Tom would come down with a cold on the 17th, and although he did have a bare hint of a scratchy throat that day, it’s so weird to have me be the one to get sick while he never did. Climate changes do that to me, though I thought that with my powers so developed and being a non-smoker I’d be okay. I’m just now getting over it, feeling like my old self again at least physically. Mentally, I’m still not sure.

To finish with the tail end of the trip, we had to pack and put our luggage outside our doors by 2 AM the day we were to disembark. This was for immigration to go through upon reentering the US. I felt like I was being admitted to Brattleboro or Valleyhead all over again, having to give up my stuff to be searched and held for a while.

They gave everyone a color and a number, and since purple-3 was one of the last groups to disembark because we didn’t have a plane to catch immediately after docking, we had quite a wait at the Ft. Lauderdale dock. It wasn’t so bad, though, because I felt so run down and so I just laid in bed till it was time to leave. We left the ship around 11:00 and were given our luggage in the same room where we went to get our pictures taken and the key cards. All the windows were closed at the ticket booth, however, since they had a couple of hours before the next group of cruisers would be boarding.

While laying around we could see a huge crane taking apart the stage and equipment from up on the Lido deck.

So we cabbed to the motel Tom made reservations at from the ship’s internet center but were told our room wouldn’t be ready for an hour. Therefore we killed time at a grill and then shopping, one of my favorite things to do. I got a light pink T-shirt with silver and light blue shiny studs with the town’s name and some palm tree decorations, a black tank with silver sequins along the arm openings and in the form of the town’s name, a pink hair scrunchy with pink gems, a clear light pink lighter to light my patchouli with, a baby palm tree which I’m sure will die soon enough. They had cats and dogs curled up asleep in pet beds much like the cats and dogs Ashton-Drake has, though this place didn’t include nursing babies with them and was a little cheaper. They’re breathers too, but since we’ve been hit with the breakage curse again, the golden retriever puppy I chose doesn’t breathe. That’s no biggie, though, as I did get it for the cute display it makes.

Once landing in Portland, we took the light rail system whose sign said: Be Your Own Conductor.

It gives you tickets to transfer to the local buses which is pretty neat, though they expire within a couple of hours. So we caught a bus to the train station after light railing it to where the connecting bus was.

Online it said that the train ride back would cost $35 for each of us rather than $50 each and that it’d be a shorter route. We were worried there wouldn’t be any money on our card for the tickets if it was more because the damn cruise people had our card tied up because they hadn’t taken their money yet. We had enough cash for a motel, had worse come to worse, but we both would’ve been pissed had there been any more delays. We just wanted to get home and get this long journey over with! Well, as it would turn out, no it wasn’t a shorter route and it would be a total of $100 just like the last time, but fortunately, we could access the money to buy the tickets.

The train turned out to be a total zoo. Just one big circus of noisy kids that just wouldn’t shut the fuck up, and to make matters worse, the iPod ran out of juice towards the beginning of the trip, so I would escape to the observation car. But being mostly dark out, I couldn’t see much even if all that was out there were snowy pines and firs, so I was both bored and tired. I was fairly awake during the plane ride and the first part of the train ride, but by nightfall, I was dragging and so was Tom.

So, although I never did get to go to the beach myself, thanks to allergies and exhaustion, we finally got off the train in Klamath Falls after 10 PM. Then came that final moment of suspense as to whether or not we’d find the front door sitting open or the rats dead, as we made the utterly freezing cold walk up here which took about 15 minutes. I was amazed and pleased to see that we at least didn’t have to trek to the house through the snow because there wasn’t any. This made it much easier for him to wheel the biggest suitcase along the way.

So just when we breathed sighs of relief to see that the rats were fine, no one broke in, and the heat was running, we discovered there was no water and that the temps had been down in the single digits the last few days. That is, along with the refrigerator that’s compressor was shot. Bad things usually happen in threes, but it seemed to have hit us in fives this time. See, they fixed the pipes which is good, especially since we didn’t have to go to a motel or lose any money other than the few food items that had been in the fridge, but they brought us another broken fridge, and we got a pack of Mexicans now living next door. They haven’t been a problem since the little early-morning concert they gave me on the 17th, and have actually been away for the last few days, but I’m not stupid. I know that if they can be a problem on a cold, snowy day (we got hit with an inch or two of snow the day after we got back), then God help us when it’s warmer!

Is all this shit my punishment for taking that Kansas woman’s money? Tom wonders if it’s because we left the Lucky bamboo plants. I was all upset and freaking out the other day and said, “Where’s the magic in these bamboos lately, and what about the horseshoe outside?” That’s when he said I may’ve hit upon something; the fact that they don’t protect the house, they protect us. Maybe the shit that happened wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t gone away, he pointed out and also reminded me that I had no wins or packages upon returning home. But a day later, he won 4 scratch tickets in a row, I got a CD win notice and a $195 necklace via FedEx. The necklace is ugly with a few clear beads and mostly jade, and I’m not a jade fan, but you can tell it’s expensive. Maybe he has a point, maybe not. The Lucky Hawaiian Ti plant I got before we left may tell us. I got it from Publisher’s Clearing House. It’s these logs you place in water that are supposed to sprout leaves in 2-6 weeks and bring good luck.

To back up and be more detailed. I slept that 12 hours I needed to sleep, waking up only once just because when we first got back. I slept from 1 AM - 1 PM. When I got up I was still run down from the cold and found that Tom stayed home from work to work on the pipes, but I knew it’d be no quick fix and that we’d have to call someone out that day, and we did. Bill came out and put a super heavy-duty heater under the house, but it did no good, so that’s when he called the owner to authorize a plumber. I felt like a kid again having to hide the rats, but that was the least of our concerns. Had they caught them and told us to get rid of them or move, we’d have told them fine, we’ll move, though caged pets would more than likely not be a problem. Still, we didn’t want to take a chance when we had bigger problems at hand, like escaping motels even though we haven’t exactly been broke and could’ve afforded them, I’m happy to say.

So as it began to snow, the plumber fixed the pipes under the house which had burst, and we only had to go a day without showering, but who’d have ever thought we’d get hit with this kind of shit in a rental of all places?! It’s like God really loves to threaten our water supply. So much so that I’m saving the 10 gallons of water we had bought to use to flush the toilet.

The owner also came out and he seemed nice enough, though Bill seems the most easygoing of them all. He commented about us having a lot of stuff by the back door, but fortunately, he didn’t notice it was sealed up as it’s sealed with clear packing tape. Nor did he complain about the trash bag we’ve got taped on the ceiling to keep the warm air from escaping into the attic. As for the back door, though, Tom just pointed out that it was a small house, so we had to put stuff wherever we could, and he dropped it.

That night I was so exhausted that I crashed earlier and got up earlier on the 17th. Shortly after I’d gotten up, still weak from the cold, a Mexican guy was in the yard next door working on its car with the music thumping. I went out and asked that they please don’t play the music when on this side of the house. The guy said, “Ok, I’ll turn it down.”

I thanked him and went back inside, but could still hear it in the house. So I went back out and this time I didn’t bother to play it nice. I learned a long time ago that nice doesn’t get you anywhere with certain freeloaders, so I nailed it right to the point one final time. From here on out, if they don’t run us out of here or drive me to kill them, we’ll call their rental company. This time, though, I won’t be going to jail for it! Anyway, I told him I could still hear the music in my house and that if they didn’t keep it for their ears only, I will call 1st Choice, then stormed back in the house, not hearing what he said in response, and not caring. I’m not going to argue or play games with these losers. This time we’ll just move or let those with leverage over them deal with them, though I’d still prefer to move when we say so, cuz that’s letting them win if we let them run us out. It’s just that I don’t think the rental company can shut them up. You know how defiant freeloaders are. They just don’t want to get along with anybody!

After the music, we switched to engine gunning and shouts amongst each other, before taking off 15 minutes later.

You know you’re cursed when you move to a place that has so few of the damn things compared to Arizona, yet you still get stuck with them! It’s fucking ridiculous. Just totally insane! These people are nothing but sick, wild, hateful, rude, obnoxious, vindictive, disrespectful, selfish, lazy assholes! Working on cars and freeloaders go hand in hand, so when they get back from wherever they’ve gone, I’m sure the yard, which has been one big old parking lot for them, will be turned into a fucking auto-mechanic kingdom. The only thing that’s been there over the weekend is this truck that usually carries a cement mixer, though now it’s detached. I was surprised to see people come and go quietly up by the front door, as well as the last vehicle I saw leave the yard last Friday which was another pickup with what looked like luggage in its bed. The kind we’d see at the airports. It’s this gray car that’s the main problem and has been the only thing so far that I know of with boom stereos. Until the weekend there’d usually be 5 vehicles there, 3 on the other side, 2 on this side. The question is how many people with vehicles with killer stereos live there, and how often will they have visitors come over with them? I’m amazed I haven’t seen any kids there yet. Nonetheless, I am not looking forward to their return! And just like old times, I’m keeping a little log for 1st Choice because I know they’ll be a problem. Perhaps not like the Phoenix freeloaders, but bad enough.

Bill came out to replace an inside pipe part that also broke under the sink the next day. That’s when I told him about the refrigerator. He said he’d let the owner know when he returned to re-clamp the pipes later that evening, and that this was certainly the biggest work order he’d ever had. He later said, along with the owner, that they hoped they wouldn’t have to be back at least till the summer but would bring another fridge the next day, only the fucking thing doesn’t work either! Not wanting them to get frustrated enough to try to charge us, even though we’d simply move rather than pay up, we said fuck it, we’re not calling them back out. We’ll just buy non-perishables. If we want TV dinners or things like that, we’ll eat them right after we buy them and get them home. It’s so cold, though, that we can put things like his shakes on the floor by the outer wall in the kitchen and it keeps them nice and cool.

Meanwhile, the laundry had built up because he didn’t have time to do it since we had to deal with shit breaking. That didn’t get done till today. He did a load yesterday and a load today.

I was surprised to find that I weighed 136 pounds, about the same as I weighed when we left. I guess I just didn’t take into consideration the fact that the food wouldn’t always be right in the next room like it is here, all the walking we’d be doing, and all the traveling time in which we’d have only little snacks. Delta gave us one snack on the short flights and two on the longer ones, along with soda and coffee. They even had alcoholic drinks, too. I suppose I should try to get some of this weight off.

Between the combination of being sick, tired, tired of being almost too fat to rock out, and losing the will to live, I’ve been on a partial starvation diet and crashed off 7 pounds as of two days ago. But then I gained two pounds back, one of which I knocked back off today, so I’m currently 130. Don’t know how much more I’ll lose or if I’ll try to maintain whatever I do lose. Tom’s going on a diet, too. To try to make it more motivating, we’ve agreed to reward ourselves with $5 for each pound lost, assuming we keep them off for a while. I’m mainly doing it for comfort reasons as I don’t mind looking like shit, and shitty I do look! God, I was both amazed and disgusted by my pictures and reflection in the stateroom’s large mirror over the bed! I look both fat and old. Guess it’s my compensation for having youthful, better-than-average looks like I used to for so long. Yet it keeps guys from hitting on me, so I like it.

Tom also had to go to the PO to get our mail since they were too lazy to bring it to us. They gave him a bucket to carry it back with, then he left it out front for the mailman to pick up the next day. I caught him as he was picking up the bucket and dropping our mail off and he asked how our vacation was.

Anyway, I’ve felt so many overwhelming emotions since coming home. I’ve been depressed, feeling hopeless and helpless, stressed out, and outraged at God. I’m sick of Him holding us back and allowing the same old fucking shit to happen to us. I never asked for a perfect life, and while the last year may’ve been good for the most part, we don’t need busted pipes, shot refrigerators, or wild freeloaders living with us! It’s like we just can’t get ahead and I was wondering if I should starve myself to death, figuring it’d be an easier death that was sure to succeed in the end, or if we should get another place here in town, or risk moving to California with just Unemployment and hope for the best. But I know that running to California won’t change our fate. Yes, it’ll be warmer and we’ll be in a newer, nicer, level place which I’d like, but we’d still be dealing with problem neighbors, barking dogs and car stereos zipping up and down the street, so this is why I sometimes wonder - what’s the point in living? I also still fear we’ll go back to being broke most of the time, too. It’s funny how we’re the opposite of how we used to be. In Maricopa, we had a nice house with decent furniture, but no money. Here we have money, but we live like bums in a dump. It’s certainly more comfortable this way, but I still don’t think living in a quiet, modest home with at least a little extra money is asking for much. Yet I believe it won’t happen. No, I know it won’t happen. And I don’t want to live like this in the mainstream for another 40 or so years, battling a string of crises every few months!

A part of me also wants to die so God can no longer have fun picking on me in any way, but of course, I don’t know if He’d make sure my afterlife was much worse if there was one.

Tom urged me not to kill myself because he really, seriously doesn’t want to live without me and can’t know for sure that we’ll be together in any form of afterlife. I said, “Why not? We’re not attracted sexually to each other, even though only one of us can admit it.” He said, “Well, if you’re right, you’re still a damn good friend to lose.” That was sweet of him and I’m flattered to have someone love me and accept me as I am. No one else ever has. Yet sometimes one has to think of themselves and themselves only. I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, though I did tell him that I think we should still consider going together by hanging ourselves. But he’s afraid that wouldn’t work and that we’d suffocate rather than die instantly. I suggested that maybe my dying first would give him the incentive to die too, but then he said that may actually give him the incentive to live to suffer the consequences and live with the guilt for not being able to give me the life that I wanted. As I stressed to him, though, it isn’t that he isn’t giving me the life I want, it’s that God isn’t allowing us to live the life we want. Everything always comes down to that bastard I still can’t understand for the life of me how so many people can worship. Right now, though, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Neither of us is. We’re just going to give EFO another chance to prove it’s not really TUT. Especially since he made a $170 profit in two days! I’d give anything for it to work out! Moving on just Unemployment would really be asking to lose everything. If I have to sell my dolls and knickknacks, I could, though I wouldn’t want to. Still, as long as I had music, books, my PC and incense, I could do it if I had no choice. He still feels certain EFO will get better and better, and is ready to pay to download the information on various horses so he doesn’t have to manually input it in, but if so, just how many months will it take? He still feels I’ll win big sooner or later, too.

Tom wants to get out of here either way soon enough because he hates his job.

It’s been great being back with the rats. Lez is still shy, but getting a little better.

The dog goes off in the evenings, as usual, but I haven’t heard much from Kim. I’ve just heard her come and go a few times, sometimes with the music playing, though still at a reasonable volume. 10:10 is when she leaves for work and she seems to have weekends off. I like her working at night cuz when she’s home at night she tends to come and go more often. She must be working far away as she usually doesn’t get back till after 8:00. That’s 10 hours.

A few days after returning, that $150, kick-ass toothbrush arrived via UPS. Yup, it’s way faster than regular electric brushes. It’s supposed to clean your teeth like no other brush and be as good as flossing. So far it has made my teeth whiter and they feel smoother, too.

Another thing we did to brighten my dark and dismal mood was to make that big incense order I’ve had my heart set on. I can’t wait! We placed the order 5 days ago, so I should have another week before it arrives. It’s a good thing I still have incense leftover from the order I made last summer. This is the biggest selection I’ve ever ordered. I’m getting 201 10-packs, 15 of them old favorites. The entire order and shipping were $115.

That Fuji stamp site that makes personalized photo stamps that said they’re waiting on government approval, is obviously not going to come through by the end of the month to allow me the book of stamps I won, plus the additional one they gave me for making me wait. Why the hell did they run the damn sweep before they got the approval anyway? That’s rather backward.

I went out today for the first time since being back, hoping to see Liz. Instead, we saw Olivia. She asked how we were doing and I told her about the cruise. She asked questions about it and said she wished she could’ve gone with us. Now why couldn’t Liz have said that? And why is the best-looking chick always the least friendly?

I saw a movie about this chick who was into witchcraft, and knowing that spells really can work and that things like bamboo and horseshoes aren’t merely silly superstition, I did some research on spells, lucid dreams, and astral projection. I know I’ve had lucid dreams before and that “falling into the body” experience upon waking up, but where I go when I leave my body if that’s really what the case is, I don’t know.

This one site sells talisman rings for $300! They must be really good or real quacks. Most of the spells I found are a bit complicated and involve items I can’t easily obtain. Yet I found a simple sleep and attraction spell that only requires a white candle, two pink candles, and a mirror other than a compact. I’d still like to see if I can make Liz like me or at least be more friendly toward me. My logic is that if I can get her to do this using this spell, then I should be able to use it to “soften” anyone with bad intentions for us. The sleep spell will be for when the stress or whoever we have for current neighbors are at their worst or both.

The sleep spell involves walking counter-clockwise around your bedroom with a white candle, chanting the word sleep, and the love spell involves sitting between two pink candles while looking in a mirror and reciting your most positive traits.

Next I’m going to search for money-making spells, but what I also need that I can’t seem to find are spells to stop the never-ending slew of bad neighbors we get. Kim, and the last people in the house, were the only two good neighbors we’ve had in the last 15 years.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17, 2007 Back Home…

Why oh why is God being so cruel to us?!?! Not only was getting back a real pain and exhausting, but we came home to find disaster waiting for us. No, the house wasn’t broken into and the rats were fine, but a pipe broke under the house and we were without water for a day. Secondly, the refrigerator’s shot. And thirdly, we’re back living with a herd of Mexicans who are already being a problem. Oh, I’m too stressed out to write now! I’ll write later.

MONDAY, JANUARY 15, 2007 In the Air Again…

We are now on the way to Atlanta. Amazingly, this flight is quiet. I’m gonna enjoy it too, cuz I’m sure the next flight will be maddening.

We had another wonderfully quiet motel room last night at a different motel, and although I did sleep, I could’ve slept another 4-6 hours. Although we heard car stereos in The Bahamas and Puerto Rico, Ft. Lauderdale has a ban on car stereos, so Tom learned when he went to the nearby beach. It was a sign the local police posted saying: No Loud Music.

They should have these signs everywhere and impose stiff penalties for the most rebellious and desperate of the attention-hungry losers out there.

Tom finally got to not just see, but feel the Atlantic as well. He said it was warmer than the Pacific is at its warmest time during the peak of summer. He said Florida’s just okay and isn’t sure he could deal with the summer humidity. Yeah, I’m sure it’d be rough.

I’m so glad this vacation is almost over! Even Tom’s beginning to agree it wasn’t worth the money we spent. As for me, I totally regret not forfeiting this trip. Sure it had its good points, but overall it just wasn’t worth the aggravation. I can think of better reasons to lose sleep, money and time spent doing paperwork like we did with customs and other things.

We’re descending now so my ears are popping. Too bad I have two ears to pop now.

Later…

We are on the other plane now heading for Portland, and yes, it’s chock full of screaming animals as I figured it would be, but they’ve momentarily shut up.

I was listening to music, but they kept butting in with announcements every few minutes, so I won’t bother unless the animals start shrieking like hyenas again. I’m sooo glad I never had my own! When I asked Tom why the mothers didn’t do shit about all the screaming, he said you just get used to it. How can you just “get used to” such shrilly chaotic screaming like that???

Although I’m tired, I’m just glad my allergies are getting better little by little. I had a sore throat and sneezing fits just like I had in Arizona. I even wondered if I had my first cold in 10 years. I felt, and still feel, very rundown. I worry that all warm climates will cause me to have sinus or lung problems, though my lungs and ear actually did just fine.

We’re at a cruising altitude of 38,000 feet because it was too rough at 32,000 feet, so they said.

Fortunately, no one hit us for a radio interview, which was lucky for them since I wouldn’t have had many nice things to say, though I do intend to say it in an email when we get back. I’ll be sure to let her know I’m sorry we’re out two grand for all the noise, the friendly yet pushy crew, the not-so-fantastic food, the letdown of not being able to go to the Grand Turk, etc. I’ll also let them know the hot tubs were closed half the time, nor did we get our room service menu till the end. I had been getting coffee from the get-go via room service, but we didn’t know what other things we could get until we finally got the menu. The selection wasn’t that great and not all things were available at all times.

Nor was Doe and Art waiting for us at the Ft. Lauderdale dock, but believe me, if I thought there was the slightest chance they would be, I’d never have sent the card from Puerto Rico.

They’re playing a movie on overhead screens that are spaced every 15’ or so along the aisle. You can hear the voices on one of their 12 channels, but like I said, the interruptions get old. As long as the animals stay civilized, I’ll just listen to the hum of the engines.

To back up to when we got aboard the ship, we had cabbed over to Port Everglades where the ship was docked. We then stood in a very long line in a very large room. After what seemed like quite a while, we went up to a window with our tickets and to get our key cards. They took our pictures from their computers. This displayed on the ship’s screens when the card was scanned, and of course we had to walk through metal detectors and have our stuff x-rayed. I almost felt like I was back in jail, though they never did strip searches!

There were lots of ships docked in Florida, and small boats owned by individuals who would cruise around the area, too.

When we first got on board we couldn’t go to our rooms because they were still working on them as the previous group of cruisers had disembarked just hours before we got on. We waited up on the Lido deck and had a snack since only the sweets section was open at the time.

Because the food and service weren’t that good, Tom asked for our tips back in the end so they wouldn’t automatically go and help themselves to $10 a day like they usually do.

They were just too in our faces. If I thought dealing with housekeepers once a day was a pain, well, they did the room twice a day on the ship! I could usually keep Johannes, the guy tending to us, from bothering us in the evenings by sticking the privacy card out, though a couple of times there were others who knocked, then came right in without waiting for a reply. What’s the point of knocking if you’re just gonna barge right in?

At least Jo tried to make us happy. He’d sometimes fold towels in animal shapes and leave them on the bed. Once he did a swan, then an aardvark.

The room was small and simple but with adequate storage space. We started off with the bed set up as a king-size and him sleeping on the loveseat in the sitting area, but that was uncomfortable so we had Jo separate the beds. We slept with the TV on one of the music stations and threw a spare blanket over the screen to block the light. Of course I also had my earplug in, but this wasn’t just to help block out outside noise, but his snoring as well.

They gave us shampoo, conditioner and lotion as I expected, but the room didn’t have the plush carpet I also expected. It was flat and hard.

The room had a wet bar with soda, but since that would’ve been charged to our card, we decided to skip the soda. And of course, we don’t drink.

The verandah was private in that you couldn’t see other people on their verandahs unless you stuck your head around the partitions. At night, though, I could sometimes see someone else’s reflection next door in the glass railings.

We had a wicker chair out on the verandah and a cushioned chair with a wicker footrest. That table I wish we’d had for coffee cups never arrived till the very last day.

They supplied two robes, but you had to buy them if you wanted to keep them. We decided they weren’t worth the $50 they wanted for them. They weren’t even of terrycloth, but some coarse fabric.

Where there was a floor of clouds below us a moment ago, there’s now nothing but snow. That was fast. It seems we were where it was nice not so long ago.

Anyway, there was a married couple to our right that was in their 40s. They were usually quiet. The two single ladies to our left, however, were a bit loud and they even woke us up with rowdy laughter our first night. I mentioned it to Jo who mentioned it to them and Paula apologized from her verandah when she heard me go out on ours. I told her, “No problem. We understood your excitement. Especially being in your 20s like you are.”

That’s when she told me she was 46. I was like, wow! She looked great for her age.

It turns out that one of them was also a cruise winner, but they got to have all their expenses paid because they won it from their local radio station in Texas. Another difference is that they were having a blast like most people, and thought the music was great.

If we’re flying over Wyoming now, and I think we are, it’s too bad I hate snow so much. Most of the houses are way isolated!

So anyway, once the guests got situated in their rooms, it was off for an emergency escape drill where we had to don our lifejackets and line up on a particular deck, women and animals first. While waiting on the deck until our room numbers were called and checked off their list, I noticed all the other women had their toenails polished red while mine were still bare.

My tooth aggravated me for the first two days, then when that stopped my allergies took over. Yes, God really loves to see me suffer and always keeps me going with something, doesn’t He?

We were late in taking off from Florida because they were waiting for someone, so we didn’t leave till after dark. I was lying down when we started moving. I could suddenly hear the soft hum of the propeller and feel a slight motion. I got up and ran out to the verandah where people were cheering us off from a large apartment building. I couldn’t see anyone, but I could hear them.

Because the ship’s so big we had a small pilot boat guide us out till we were out on the open ocean. They use tugboats to push ships into spaces against the docks which have little bumpers alongside them.

It sure was weird falling asleep in the US and waking up in The Bahamas! The sun was just rising when we were approaching The Bahamas. Because we visited a touristy section, we could use US currency. They were giving guided tours on buses and horse-drawn carriages, but we remained on foot. I didn’t realize The Bahamas were all blacks, but it sure was. I guess that makes sense, seeing that most of the southeastern US is infested with the damn things. At least the blacks we encountered were friendly store-keepers and not vindictive, loud, obnoxious, gang-banging, drug-toting neighbors. The streets were very narrow and the steering wheels were on the other side of their cars, but it otherwise looked like it could’ve been a place in Florida for all I knew. I was shocked to learn that The Bahamas consists of over 700 islands! The beaches we saw seemed wimpy and remote. There wasn’t much of a shore or very many people on it.

While in The Bahamas, I got blue glitter nail polish that turns green when in sunlight. We also got a couple of postcards we decided to keep for ourselves, along with the postcards we decided to write out to each other in Georgia.

Lastly, I got a couple of dresses. One’s light pink up top, turning to darker pink on the bottom. The bottom is also bedecked with silver sequins. The other dress has a pink and purple background with black palm tree silhouettes and a tasseled hem. This one is mostly a cover-up for at the beach or pool, though it can be worn elsewhere with a slip underneath.

There was a Disney ship docked next to us and it looked way awesome with a really cool waterslide on top of it, though I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be on it.

Later…

I’m now going to start putting in PT times in these entries, though I put in ET times at sea. We still have nearly two hours of flying to do. Meanwhile, did the fucking flight attendants really have to interrupt the music 3 times to tell us they were serving snacks?! Why don’t they just do it?!

I had to go back to the music because the animals started up again. They just keep cycling through the same small selection of songs and sometimes I still hear the animals screaming even though I’ve got it up full blast.

Now we’ve been interrupted twice more to tell us to buckle up through the turbulence that only lasted two seconds.

We spent Tuesday, Thursday and Friday at sea since we couldn’t go to the Grand Turk on Friday like we were supposed to. We were hoping they’d have more sales and raffles to make up for it, but they didn’t. We explored the ship in greater depth instead. Tom exercised on the treadmills in the gym, and we found that the view from the back of the ship was way cool. The waves in the wake of the ship’s path were really cool to see and it sounded like we were by a giant waterfall.

Since there were no more raffles to hope to win, I bought a custom-made bracelet with a magnetic clasp for $22. I love the magnetic clasp and it’s gorgeous! It’s gold with shiny round light-colored gems spaced out around it in light green, green, blue and pink. Because I like pink, the guy added an extra pink gem in the middle of it. The only thing I’d change is the light green. I’d make that lavender.

There was this chick I saw a few times. First we were in line at the bistro, which always changes its menu, and she was telling me what was what since I didn’t know what half the stuff was. The second time, she and a couple of guys were having their picture taken and she waved me over to join in. Tom searched for it the next day in the photo gallery but didn’t find it.

Midway through the voyage, they gave us canvas bags with notepads, pens and planners.

We never went to the formal dining rooms because their menu had stuff on it we’d never heard of. They even had a barbecue one day by the family pool, though even that wasn’t too great.

I had the most fun in Puerto Rico which I fell right in love with! It had an ugly dock where I could see a bunch of clear jellyfish hanging around, and the cab drivers were crazy driving so fast through the narrow streets, most of which had no traffic lights, but shopping there was a blast. I dug how most of the signs were in Spanish.

There were vendors by the ship, and one gave us samples of Puerto Rican rum which we both wouldn’t touch after I tried a tiny sip that was so gross I spit it right out.

Although my feet were killing me, we browsed through several shops where I got an 8-pack of patchouli incense that I couldn’t burn till we got back to Florida. Got a box of several little decorative monarchs. I thought one would make a good replacement for the old, stained dove my Joy doll holds. Lastly, I got a cup that says Puerto Rico along the rim and has colorful decorations that float in a glittery fluid between the walls and the bottom of the cup.

It started raining pretty hard toward the evening before we left port. It had tapered off to just a bare drizzle by the time we were pushing off, waving to the people left on the dock. It amused me to see so many people get a kick out of waving to perfect strangers, but even I got into it, too.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 13, 2007 At a now faster pace, we slice through the Atlantic heading for Florida. I can’t wait to get back home! Sure I’m not looking forward to the cold and snow, but I miss my Tinkerbell. Missing her as I have every day has made me see all the more just how twisted Doe was to be able to pawn her own daughter off at various places as she did.

I also miss my computer, my music, and definitely my own bed! I can’t wait to sleep alone and uninterrupted. I’ve been sleeping with earplugs yet I still get woken up by various things, or just because. I could really use that 12 hours of solid sleep I know I won’t get till we get home.

While it’s been nice to relax on the verandah or veg out in the room, I’ve been bored for the most part, believe it or not. There’s only so much to do on the ship itself.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 12, 2007 Today’s turned out to be a disappointing day, as Paula agrees (this is one of the two women in the room next to us that I ran into in the dining area). I’ll write more about her later. For now, I want to keep things in order as best I can. I’ll just say that the disappointment is due to the fact that we couldn’t dock at the Grand Turk today because of stormy weather. I guess we’re heading back to Florida now, but at a slower pace to avoid getting back too soon. The last thing they’d want to do is return a day early and refund people’s money for that day, though they should for having us miss out on the Grand Turk. At least they’re refunding the shore excursions some folks paid for. We really wanted to check out the beaches there. I’m just glad this ship can handle the choppy waters. I would think a 4-million-dollar ship that’s done over 100 cruises already has had enough experience to do it well, though we sure have been rocking more. Usually, we don’t sway as much as planes or even trains. There’s usually just enough sound and motion to tell you you’re moving and that’s it. Today, however, there was enough motion to be annoying. They even closed the pool which they can’t cover because the winds make the sloshing water more dangerous. The family pool and hot tubs on the other end are open, and since they’re not usually too rowdy, thanks to there only being a dozen or so kids on board, I may go there later. Actually, some of the adults have been more obnoxious than the kids with their wild laughter. Lotta folks getting drunk.

I can see where it’d be awesome to work on the ship if you didn’t mind all the people and noise, and you knew you wouldn’t miss being able to run out to places like Walmart whenever you felt like it. Most of the crew members are Asian.

I wish the rooms or hallways had sonar equipment to tell us how deep this water is like the planes told us how many feet high we were.

The Florida airport seemed mellower than the Georgia one, but all we did there was grab our bags, grab a cab, and hit another Motel 6 (this one much noisier than the last). We never went through any checkpoints, but we will soon.

The flight from Atlanta to Ft. Lauderdale was shorter at around just two hours. The plane was different, too. The first plane was your standard setup with two rows of three-seaters and a center aisle. The second plane was bigger with two outer rows of two-seaters and a center row of three-seaters. Most of the northwest was cloudy, and of course Wyoming was nothing but a big old blanket of snow. It was just beautiful upon arriving in Florida! Slightly humid at 77º.

The motel had a nice soft bed just like the other one and just like the ship does, to my surprise, but was bangy as hell like the Townhouse was in Klamath Falls. We were right by the stairwell, so we heard doors slamming like crazy. I still managed to get a good 6 or so hours of sleep since it quieted down after 10:00 which was about when I crashed.

It’s been 13 years since I’ve flown and 17 years since I’ve been in Florida. What a different person I was then! A broke, miserable girl all alone from New England who was a skinny smoker who could see well. Well, I’m sure I’ll be broke and miserable again at some point, but definitely not a skinny smoker with good eyesight.

Tom and I joked about what I’d say to Doe and Art had we run into them in Florida (assuming they recognized their older and much heavier daughter). If they’d asked us to go to their house, I’d have said, “Nah, we’re going on a cruise, then we’re going to get the hell outa Oregon and move to California.”

The funny thing is the postcard I sent them from Puerto Rico. After making a few small changes, I said basically what I said I’d say in the entry I made on Christmas. I also sent Paula a postcard, but I’m now ready to write her off as a definite thing of the past since I still haven’t heard from her. She’s gotta be either dead or locked up. But if she’s locked up, is she really that stupid that she can’t at least let me know it?

THURSDAY, JANUARY 11, 2007 We’ve left Puerto Rico and are headed for the Grand Turk. I’m only just now beginning to have more fun, feel more comfortable, and sleep better, though not as well as I’d like. I could still use 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep, but at least I’m not exhausted to the point of not being able to function.

Some lady is performing now. I can hear the concerts out here on our private little verandah where I am now, but not in the room. I don’t care for any of the music I’ve heard so far. It’s all just there to me. I’ve only heard it from afar, though, whereas Tom has actually been to a few of these concerts. I met Delbert once in the elevator, but Tom’s seen him several times around the ship. I guess he does this cruise every year.

We’re moving slower today for some reason, under partly cloudy skies. Today’s weather is perfect; not too hot/cold or too humid. It’s been averaging in the mid-70s to the lower 80s. It’s not overly windy out here either like it usually is. I guess that’s because we’re going slower. I love how I don’t have to worry about spiders and bees out here.

I see nothing around me but sky and sea. The seas are a bit choppy today. I can see whitecaps all the way out to the horizon.

I’ve wanted to cover the trip as each minute went by, but I also know it’ll be easier to do most of it on the computer afterward. Still, I don’t want to get that behind. Besides, I’ll be so busy trying to catch up on the sweeps when we get back.

I sort of wish I had a modern laptop with me, but that’d be a pain to pack and lug around. The two suitcases and carry-on that we have are enough.

Except for the casino, the ship is a cashless society. Each guest puts money on their key card which is also what’s used to scan when making purchases or leaving/entering the ship at each port of call.

It hasn’t been as hard to find my way around the ship as I thought it would be. Perhaps that’s because half of the floors are staterooms, as they call them rather than cabins, belonging to both guests and crew. There are really only 4 other floors we’ve been doing things on. We’re on deck 4. Deck 9 is the Lido deck. That’s where the free dining is, though they only serve food during certain hours. They have a small variety of things, and personally, Tom and I don’t think the food is that great, though it’s certainly good. It’s different than what we usually buy at the grocery store. There’s Italian, a bistro, the Wok, a deli, and a section for drinks and sweets. I’ve mostly been getting rice and diced watermelon from the Chinese section, though their sushi sucks! Juice and plain coffee are free, but the gourmet coffee and teas sold down on a lower deck get charged to our card, as does soda and alcohol, though we don’t drink so there are no charges for that. We haven’t had soda either.

They only had lobster once at the bistro, but it wasn’t a whole lobster. It was just a lobster tail. I could’ve had 5 of them!

Also on deck 9 are two pools at either end, one a family pool by the grill that serves cheeseburgers, veggie burgers and fries (the veggie burger sucked!), and another one for mainly adults. Each pool has whirlpools by them, but they were closed till now which sucks.

At the very top are the observation deck and a basketball court with a rope fence.

We had fun swimming in the adult pool earlier. It was so cool how the water sloshed around and made waves due to the ship’s movements.

Decks 2 and 3 are where the casinos are, along with a photo and art gallery, a shop that mostly sells jewelry, and the coffee shop I’ve been to a few times. The shop has a little drugstore and also sells clothing which is pretty expensive, and designer perfume as well. I like spraying various testers on myself. I even got Angel body spray for $24 which isn’t sold in the US. In the US they only have larger quantities for $60. It’s the second version of Angel I don’t care for as much, but still good, nonetheless. I’m amazed at how identical it smells to the incense!

If I remember the names of the decks, there’s the A deck, the lower promenade, promenade, upper promenade, lower verandah, verandah, upper verandah, Rotterdam, navigation, Lido, and the observation deck.

I lost the first jewelry raffle they had, but if I win today’s I’ll get $50 worth of chain/gems that are on spools and sold by the inch.

I’m not at all impressed with the casino. Not only do I gag on cigarette smoke there, but these machines are obviously rigged not to pay shit. I would at least hold my own for a while even when I didn’t win in Arizona and Vegas, but not here. Here I lose my money right away. Even their scratch tickets are a joke. We lost all 5 that he bought. Never do we get 5 losing tickets in a row elsewhere.

Later…

More sun is now hitting this verandah, but I thought I’d write a little more anyway. I took a break for lunch at The Wok. Sometimes Tom and I do things together, other times we’re off by ourselves. We’re going swimming again later when the sun’s not as strong. I love the waves the ship’s motion causes within the outer pool. There’s a wooden bench that runs along the outside, then the outer pool for the water to spill over into with walls that are 2 or 3 feet high. The water’s usually ankle-deep in this area. Neither of the pools are diving pools because they’re not very deep.

Later…

I didn’t win today’s jewelry raffle.

Tom’s catching Delbert now and soon we’ll go for another swim. For now, I’ll backtrack a bit.

Portland is different than Klamath Falls. It rarely snows there. Instead, they get a lot more rain. It rained the whole time we were there, which was less than 24 hours. We got to our amazingly quiet motel room at around 7 PM and an hour later we were both asleep. We got up at 4:00 and got to the airport a couple of hours later. It was then that I came to love people from Kansas. It’s getting a little warm out here, though, so I’ll get into it later.

Later…

It got a bit toasty and bright for a while there, but now it’s cloudy and nice. It’s even drizzling a bit, too. It poured while we were docked in Puerto Rico yesterday. It’s just so beautiful overall. I’d kill to live at sea on a boat, but no, Jodi can’t live where Jodi wants.

Okay, now I’ll explain why I dig people from Kansas. We got out of the cab at the Portland airport and the cabbie pulled our suitcases from the trunk. Then he called out to us, saying we dropped something. Well, that something was some lady’s purse. Her ID said she was from Kansas. Because I had gloves on, I didn’t want Tom to handle it much. His prints are on file too, from working at the bank and from being in the Air Force. So, feeling like a major criminal, I took the purse into the restroom before entering the concourse. The last thing I needed was to get caught with someone else’s driver’s license and credit cards. Therefore, I cleaned out the cash, which turned out to be a whopping $260, before leaving it in one of the stalls. What a bonus! I can’t help but feel bad for this lady, though, whoever she is. That’s quite a bit to lose. Let’s hope she’s rich or wins the lottery to make up for it.

Where it’s dark by 5:00 in Oregon, it doesn’t get dark till 6:30 here, so it’s just now getting pleasant on the verandah. Sometimes at night, especially when we’re going faster, it can get chilly and windy out here. I love how I can turn on the light without having to worry about bugs flocking to it.

Anyway, when we landed in Atlanta, we had a 4-hour layover. I was pretty tired, so it wasn’t very fun. We ate and I got coffee to help stay awake. I also got a little pillow that goes around the neck to make the rest of my flying time a bit more comfortable.

The trains were way roomier than the planes. I sort of wish we’d gotten a sleeper car but am more glad we didn’t cuz of the money we saved. While they gave free snacks on the plane, the food on the train was ridiculously expensive. They had a dining car and maybe 15 passenger cars in all. We were towards the back, so when the track veered off to the right, we could see the cars in front of us. It was funny to look through the window and see the car in front of us bobbing up and down along the tracks.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 7, 2007 At Sea…

For the first time in my life, I am doing an entry from Nassau in The Bahamas!!! It’s gorgeous as hell here, about the same as Florida was, warm and a bit humid. It was nice to see palm trees again, too.

When I’m not in the mood to write, I’m at least taking notes along the way so as to document every detail. I’ve taken a few pictures already, too.

Tom’s in the shower right now and soon we’re going to go exploring.

I forgot to say that they left a message wanting to set up a time to do a radio interview with me, but we were already on the road.

The ship is huge! I’m amazed they can keep so much afloat.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 6, 2007 In the Air…

We are now on the plane! They’ve really changed tremendously over the years. The stewardesses are now called “flight attendants” and they aren’t all women anymore. For just $2 you can get headphones and listen to their radio. Each seatback has a screen that plays music, and on the planes that don’t, it’s in the armrests. The armrests only have music and no screen, though, since you couldn’t fit a screen in it. The seatback screens do more than music. You can watch TV and movies, play games and even get flight info that’s incredible! There’s a map that showed the plane’s progress as it flew just over the Oregon border into Washington, then Idaho, Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Tennessee, Alabama, and finally into Atlanta, Georgia which is the busiest hub in the US.

Planes have certainly gotten a lot faster than the 450 MPH they used to fly. We’re flying at 650 MPH now. Isn’t that almost supersonic? We’ve traveled 779 miles and are at an altitude of 34,979’. We’re on Delta, by the way.

I just figured out how to load up a list of ’70s songs. It is so cool!

Ugh! It’s -50º outside the plane!

The train ride consisted of some very pacific northwestern scenery. There was much more snow, like in New England, the higher up into the mountains we went. It was nothing but huge peaks and valleys of snowy pines and firs, with an occasional stream running through here and there. I can see myself thinking the snow looked cool had I grown up in a warm climate, but I’d never want to live in it!

The conductors wore old-fashioned uniforms, and one of them was weird in a funny way, high-fiving us as we were approaching Portland. I guess this train normally runs back and forth from L.A. to Seattle. During the ride, we stopped in Smalt, Albany, Salem and Eugene.

Some brat of a kid got on my nerves in the end and wouldn’t shut up. I used my earplug so as not to suck the iPod out of too much juice too soon, but I could still hear the damn thing, just not as well. That’s another way flying’s changed – the planes are chock full of screaming animals, and of course, none of the mothers care to do a damn thing about it. I don’t know how they can sit there in total oblivion, but they refuse to teach their kids any manners or respect. I was shocked they didn’t let them run up and down the isles on the planes, though they did somewhat on the trains. Due to long car rides costing about the same in gas as flying does, more animals are flying because it’s faster. I don’t understand why the damn animals aren’t in school, though most of them do seem to be preschoolers.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 5, 2007 At the Train Station…

Through the miserable freezing cold, Tom and I made it to the train station. We’re now waiting for the damn train which is to be two hours late. I’ll be very tired when we arrive in Portland. Tom’s reading now while I write, since we have so much waiting time to do.

Last night I slept from 11 AM - 5 PM, then woke up in a panic, all worried that I wouldn’t be able to return to sleep. However, I did get a few more hours between 8 PM - 11 PM.

It does seem that Kim’s gone back to work, so that’s good. If ever there was a time I was glad she prefers to live with her trash rather than dump it, it’s now. This way it’ll only be half full when we get back. I could see when I looked in back that she’s gone back to stockpiling her shit outside her door. That’s one lazy person not to be able to take her trash 20 steps to the dumpster!

Not that it hasn’t been costly and time-consuming enough to get ready for this cruise, but imagine if there were no computers! Then Tom wouldn’t have been able to stop the mail online or buy the tickets that way and check maps and things like that.

Monday we’ll be in The Bahamas, Wednesday in Puerto Rico, and Friday in the Grand Turk.

MONDAY, JANUARY 1, 2007 Age 41

I updated my journal 188 days last year, so it just told me. That’s a little over half the days in the year. I skipped 177 days.

Saw Liz yesterday. I asked her how she was and she looked at me, smiled and said she was doing good. Then I told her we’d be in the Caribbean next week and she said, “Oh, good.” That was pretty much it. She just briefly smiled at me as we were leaving, but still isn’t very chatty or showing any signs of mutual attraction, not that it’d matter much anyway. After all, in just a matter of months, I’ll never see her again.

Last night as I was lying in bed waiting for sleep, I was struck with this sudden thought of Liz knowing I have a crush on her. Of course, I don’t see how she could be that receptive, and I know I haven’t been that obvious, but who knows?

We saw the ball go down live in Times Square at 9:00 our time. At midnight here they shot off fireworks and shouted for about 15 minutes. A few hours before this, the people diagonally from us returned from wherever they went, so I’ll have to hear from the dog soon enough.

Didn’t get much in the way of New Year vibes. Of course, I don’t know that I could trust what little I saw anyway since last year’s house vision was obviously meaningless. I saw something about a white car, him having a paper-related job down in California, and me winning big in March, though that’s probably just a certificate of some kind for $100 that I’ll have to fight tooth and nail for. But most importantly, I don’t think 2007 will be a good year. Oh, I know it won’t be that bad. After all, it’s a 7-year, and the second half of each decade is always better than the first. But still, it’ll be filled with the usual prescription for our lives – noise and poverty. I think this is where my New Year’s resolution comes in. Acceptance. That’s what I’m going to try to focus on this year. Accepting that we’re never going to live in peace, we’re never going to live where we want to, we’re never going to have the kind of money we want, and that’s that. Whatever’s up there has its reasons for now allowing us free will as far as where/how we live goes. I don’t know that its intentions are good, but either way, there’s nothing we can do about it. One is usually powerless when it comes to dealing with the hand of fate anyway, so all I can do is just learn to live with the barking, the car doors, the kids screaming, the stereos thumping, and all the other shit that goes with living in the west, all crammed in tightly together. People are never going to stop leaving their dogs outside so much of the time, and they’re never going to ban these car stereos. All I can hope for is to one day settle in a retirement community, though God would just see to it that we ended up next to some freakish exception and that it was noisy even there. I don’t expect to ever own anything again either. At least not anytime soon. Maybe when he’s 55 we can apply for a home loan, though I doubt it. I think we’ll just rental hop in the city for the most part. I just hope to hell we never again get stuck next to crazy freeloaders! But that’s the beauty of renting; if we do, we can split. We may have to break leases, depending on how soon we get stuck with them after moving into a place, but I really hope to adapt to all the noise. I really do. Life would be so much easier if I could just get so damn used to it that I didn’t even notice it anymore. It’s not that I’m not used to it. I’ve lived in noisy places for almost all of the last 20 years. It’s just that I wish I could learn to accept and tolerate it because God won’t let me out of it. There’s simply no escaping it. Sometimes I wonder if it’s His way of saying, “Hey, if you’d just quit trying to fight my chosen path for you, maybe I’ll ease up on you.” Maybe if I not only roll with the punches, but actually go out of my way to settle in life and do things I don’t want to do, I’ll be rewarded then, but I don’t know. Maybe He’s been trying to say, “Quit being such a selfish loner trying to hide away from civilization. Get out and do things, meet people, contribute to your community, etc.” But a job isn’t possible because He’s given me this sleep disorder to prevent me from generating an income, and friends cause too many problems. They want to use me, they’re crazy, or I’m just not good enough for them so they’ve got to dump me.

Despite the fact that we’ll have to live with someone else’s music, kids and dogs, it’s sure going to be nice being back in a warm place with palm trees, and I think to myself, could this be it? Is this really it? Is this the year I move to California?

I can’t believe any place we’d move to would be noisy at night. Even where we were in Phoenix was fairly quiet at night when you weed out the assholes next door. I could do my sweeping in the daytime, and work on stories at night.

Even though a break-in is next to nil in such a congested area, we’re backing my music, pic and doc files up at an online storage site. Most things could be replaced if they were stolen or destroyed in a fire, but my journals and pictures couldn’t be. We’ll also DVD everything and take it with us as well.

[wickedlybadass]

I think Trump would’ve won in 2020 if there wasn’t a pandemic. America clearly thinks they can’t live without him. Oh, dear! What are they gonna do in 2028?!

Well, there’s only one thing that’s good. Once this term is over, Trump can’t run again so might as well get the next 4 years over with.

So Trump won. That means money talks, racism wins, sexism wins, nepotism wins, women don’t get to choose what they do with their bodies, hatred wins, trans are “fags,” you don’t get to come to the country unless you’re white and from a country who allied with America, any dangerous convicted criminals can become president and get away from being sentenced, bullying wins, intimidation wins, violence wins and misinformation that puts people in danger wins.

We need a leader. How was millions of people in America dying from a deadly virus leadership?

I get people were unhappy especially with the economy. If economy was so significant, then why didn’t he win in 2020? If you say because the election was rigged, that was a waste of time because I’ll just block your fucking ass so don’t bother. I’m sure part of the reason why the economy sucked is because people were lazy to get jobs, because they got fired and decided to blame Biden just like they blamed him for everything and because people spent too money on crap instead of learning to budget their money and spending it on bills and other things worthy.

People were unhappy about “Illegals” coming in. Funny how that was a top priority and not healthcare or housing. I guess people would rather be homeless and dying than let someone with a plastic knife cross the border just because they’re not white or because they’re poor and from a country that caused 9/11 even though they were never even a part of it. It might be a shock to a lot of people but we do already have a lot of violent criminals who are originally from America. Pretty astonishing, isn’t it? People who want immigrants out are clearly hiding their racism and nepotism because they’re narrow minded bigots. I bet Trump is going to close the border to all immigrants, even law-abiding ones who would’ve been considered legal. Remember when he banned Muslims in 2016? Yea, it was temporary but some people can see through his “intentions.” He just made the ban temporary just to make it look like he’s not a nepotistic person but we saw who he really was. He had a lot of “interesting” things to say about un-American people, calling foreigners animals, Mexicans “rapists and drug smugglers,” claimed everyone from Haiti had AIDS and he wanted to ban everyone from Syria because he “didn’t want to take a chance.” Oh, please, give me a break!

People have ignored the foundation of America that our Founding Fathers created America based on. That’s based on love, compassion, integrity, freedom integrity and dignity. Trump is none of those. Instead, because of Trump’s powerful influence, people want to fight dirty and put others in danger. Now we had January 6th, millions of deaths from Covid and a dangerous man running this country because money talks and because hatred just won. Trump have threatened America and people are okay with that as long as they get more money than they need because they can’t learn to budget (young people can’t even hand write!) and are greedy and they’d die on the streets sick and homeless in order to keep out the “fags,” “niggers,” “slopes” and whatever else you want to call them!

After reading what might have gone wrong, I admit that Harris didn’t have the best campaign and should have distanced herself from Biden instead of just continuing his politics so she would have her own plans because clearly, Biden’s approval rating was tanking. We had no choice but to choose between Trump and Harris (though you could’ve elected a Green Party or Libertarian). You just chose the worst of the two. Only thing that went wrong was Harris’ campaign. If she wants to run for president again, she needs to fire her campaign manager and get a whole new team.

Harris was going to help us get back to the foundation of this country: love, compassion, happiness, integrity, dignity and freedom but clearly America will forever change because Trump, a powerful and manipulative cult leader, convinced America that greed, hatred, corruption, control, violence and death were better ways to live in America.

if we’re going to live as happy, healthy and compassionate people, something needs to change back before Donald Trump came into the picture. For one thing, the MAGA movement needs to die down. I don’t care if we’re getting a republican president or if the House and Senate are being controlled by the MAGA. Democrats need to step up their fight to get America’s original foundations back, something our Founding Fathers intended for us. Why? Because before you know it, black and white Americans won’t be able to work together or get an education together or ride the same bus together. Gay people will be put in jail. Women who even steps into an abortion clinic will be put in prison, all the rich will be allowed to do what they want with their money, blowing money away on fancy clothes and property instead of donating them to starving children while middle class families have work harder to put food on the table, people coming in from Canada will be killed. All those will happen because of corruption, greed, fear and hatred. Get the message?

Democrats have a ton of work to do to get back on track before Donald Trump took control of America and created the MAGA movement!

[theuniverseawakens347]

The word nigga… comes from niger Africa…( there previous history there I’ll download later) ya racist Americans come to Africa Nelson times make him and ghandi stand differently like Martin and Malcom but say they’re for the same thing …

It’s like parenting .. one has a soft approach the other aggressive “ good cop vs bad cop” SORRY POPOS.. ( poo poo… ya pigs… well take back UR REPUTATION.. ya let it get this far why!? Ya no kno what to do, OKAY I HELP) …

It’s abbreviated ya feel negative and weird hearing it cause YOU HAVE NEGATIVE HISTORY W YA NOT YET HEALED FROM. THERAPY. TRAUMA YA SHUDNT BE HOLDING A GUN… Nelson. ( desk okay good boy … and cauliflower ears … mhmm ya partner* both got things to work on… “issues”)

I digress…

Two different approach fake meet in the middle to seem “unified” … like children THE CITIZENS N PUBLIC PICK UP ON THAT …

YOU ARE A CHILD BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE IN LIFE … and ya go back to roots when ya need protection healing and understanding … requiring rewiring learning.

Sooo niger.. n EYE ger… NEVER HAD A TERM UNTIL RACIST AMERICANS BRAINWASHED CULTURE INTO AMERICA MOSTLY LOUSISANA TEXAS SOUTH STATES THRU “Mexican anex Florida” touching Africa .. FOR SEGREGATION APARTIDE ON TWO LANDS …

So America blacks and Africans mixed TOOK BACK POWER W NIGGA…

A term of endearment.. I see you brother … “this word brought me trauma how can I heel it” … BUT JUST LIKE A RACIST BELITTING SHIT HEAD,

Ya took niggahs and started FIREHOSING ANY BLACK OR DARK SKIN KIN USING THE WORDS TO HARM US …

Again, YA A TERRORIST SLAVE OWNER “oh you’re happy and free I’m still miserable… let me DESTROY ANYTHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY WHICH I THE LACK OF GOOD MORAL THINKING ONE SEES AS YOU BEING POWERFUL AND TRUMPING ME”…

Ya scared hurt lost parent inner child REAPS HAVOC AND NEEDS PARENTING .. ya need healing ..

Ya need dislocate and sit with issues face to face .. bhad bhabbie doctor Phil… but ya want fuck on something or be a complete little shit to ppl who are actually trying to help …

Ya need PSYCHWARD ya got a mental disconnection w neutrons and training for more BAD ONES TO GROW …

And psych wards need to change ya treat ppl like savages and expect them to “get better” but ya don’t really care about that… MOST DOCTORS SHUDNT EVEN BEEN IN THE WARD YA THINK “I’m baby sitting a restarted person no need to do anything but the bare minimum “ .. AGAIN HELLEN KELLER GOLDEN RULE…

Switch shoes. How ya want someone to treat you if you KNEW YOURE NOT CRAZY YA JUST GOT TEMPER YA DONT KNOW HOW TO CONTROL AND LASH OUT MAKES YOU LOOK PSYCHOPATH …

Ya “doctors” and nurses need new case studies on the mental what seems a person mentally ill and WHAT LEVEL ARE THEY…

Charles Manson dahmer to … Harley Quinn, joker , me.

It’s levels in everything, but ya start at child hood assessment to teen years ya get enough knowledge about a person from then on …

But ya issues is … “oh I saw myself in here and COMPLETELY FORGOT IM NOT DIAGNOSING MYSELF ITA MY PATIENT IM HELPING” … which then means ya gon turn ur client into an experiment “I’m too professional to leave my job or scared to ask you questions so I’ll be fickle and get what I want my way w my degree” … instead of saying ya no what..

Like surgeon in ER AND POLICE AND JUDGE .. WHEN LEGAL “ ur family I can’t work so close to ur case”

ITS REASONS FOR THAT HIPPA VIOLATION YA LET YA EMOTIONS GOVERN WHEN YA NOT IN A STEADY PLACE TO DISCIPLINE THEM… Lee

“Fuck if I see myself in these behaviors are the outsiders going to think it’s me I’m talking about when I talk shit about cashay and work soooo damn hard to do dirt in her name… how do I AT ANY MEANS PUSH IT OFF OF ME AND ONTO ANYONE??” …

YOU NEED MENTAL HELP … bc WHY YA COMMITING CRIMES YA NO READY TO DO TIME FOR .. no logic in ur thinking .. ur missing hierarchy of needs… so you murder bc it bring chemical relaxation* and those elements BUT NOT IN A GOOD WAY MISS I KNOW BAD FROM GOOD BUT BAD GETS EASY FIX … ur an addict even if its not drugs … ur creating ur own drug chemicals and imbalacing it as fuck … COW BRAIN WO RAW MEAT …

——

Nothing wrong w excitement FUCK YEAH I THINK LIKE GOD GHANDI BRÜNA .. but are you gloating “such and such would have done … said blah… make me better cause I’m in alignment”

NOT BETTER JUST ON THE RIGHT TRACK TO HELP HEALING GROW UP AND FORWARD AND NOT BACKWARDS … check ya self.

I do my little one two head bob cause I ATE .. meaning I know someone gon like it but ion toot my horn n rub it in ya face … even friendly competition drake ft Chris brown dance …

Okay less twin boys… ya poompoom dance n grey shorts ya sexy Alize by men … no your fault make uncomfortable to dance or be in “less clothes” … especially being telepathic “picking up others thoughts … is this me or someone else”

Ya need vacation alone time sit w you… monks journey ya learn who’s who and what’s what ya twins ya close but share a weird … “grudge” inside might be wrong word but tension ya gotta be alike all the time … Lee industry thinking and Beyoncé “it’ll make you cool but get a little freedom be more you” … but he’s ur filter… filmer.. but phone on ground and dance boys .. girl… spend time alone more often … ya telecommunicate even from far UR ONE PERSON SPLIT … that’s a different topic

[omega-tech]

not a good day at work

So today (7-9-24) at work, I wasn't having it and I just started doing my paperwork for the line's condition. I am not going to name this employee so i am going to call him joe. Yesterday joe got mad at me for doing a transfer of a roll i didn’t know about of a change over. He yelled at me and told me why I did that. Meanwhile I was asking him what you're yelling at me. He then told me that there was a change over on the line I just transferred, now before I start.

 I knew only three change overs, the first two were a simple change of the batch resin and the other one was a major change over when we had to shut down. The fourth one I didn’t know about after my cell leader told me it was a late change over and a line needed it by the next shift which means an early change over and we’re doing night shift changeover. 

So i told him i didn’t know about it and it wasn’t on the board, and when my cell leader told him that he forgot to tell me since they had three hours to tell me about this change over. All while they were dealing with a lot of air lost and lines going down. We had to bring them up. 

So this brings me to today, when he came to. He told me straight up to “ I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU OR YOU TOUCH A FUCKING THING, I WANT A GOOD AND EASY DAY WITH NO ISSUES”. And this is when I was about to lose it but kept it cool and just looked at him and said ok. Went to my cell leader and told him “if he is going to say what he says, I can’t touch or transfer any rolls on any line while he wants an easy day today. Then he got me fuck up and he can do the job by himself!” and of course my cell leader didn’t do anything so i went to tell my team leader. And she was able to handle this. 

Fast forward the afternoon and he is having a hard day due to lines going down and his change overs are not going to plan, all while me. They put me on a roll spindle area, cut down and prep the spindles. I took a small little break to drink my water and tie my shoe and this fucker decided to tell me “I THROUGH YOU WAS MEXICAN! AIN’T MEXICAN’S SUPPOSED TO GOOD WORKERS, IT SEEMS YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THEM!” and yes i lost it right there and then and cussed his ass out while giving him a middle finger. I reported it to my cell leader and he did nothing “again” so I went back to my team leader.

Now before I say anything more. That day today had me thinking alot of a company that is supposed to be better than my last job which was pactiv. They once worked together until they split due to the ongoing issue of contracts blah blah blah. So they’re not working together. Reynolds, the company I work for, always says “they’re better than pactiv and we treat our employees with love and respect”. Well today there wasn’t love or respect. Both my team leader and cell leader did nothing but separated us again knowing joe said a racist thing to me and offended me. So now I am in a position so I will report this to the supervisor or just quit this job and look for another one. I will be back in that same shit I was last year when no one couldn’t hire me even though I had a good set of skills. 

So tomorrow (7-10-24). I am going to report this and ask to be put in another shift. Because I got a feeling that this group I am in isn’t going to do anything about what happened and then again this is a factory, they only care about one thing. Make profits all while screwing over the employee who is working and making the product. Then supposedly care for their employee. So once i do that, i will work a shit ton of overtime before i quit at the end of the year to go to school for cnc operator or just get my cdl license and be a dump truck driver. I am so finished working at this factory job in my city. I just need to get this out of my system and just try to move on this day. I left pactiv from the abuse and piss poor managerment after i work their for sixteen years and those fuckers didn’t want me to move up to be a c-operator so i can make the good money and to get to my goals to buy a house. Yet they give the jobs to their family and friends. And since I left, that company is going to hell and shits all while I was thinking I was at a good place but nope. I am in the same position I was in but in a different environment and space. But I just hope I reach my life goals and be at a better place. Next year.

[lovestsaint]

ok i promised this

(plus how i'd rewrite it)

rating from 1 (worst representation ever borderline homophobic) to 10 (actually still pretty good). buckle up this is gonna suck for me specifically. 

tw for death, religious talk of sorts, misrepresentation of mental health, and overall bad portrayals of gay people. i was Not a Good Writer in middle school.

dismay and joy

oh Fuck

BACKSTORY:

these two were from “nightmare circus”, an idea for a rpg maker game i wanted to do (SUPER BORING NAME but i was 12 it’s excusable)

set in 1800s inside of a circus, and the secrets the ringleader is hiding from the performers. very inspired by franbow and night woods circus (vocaloid)

important characters here : the jesters. 12 matching circus jesters who have a corresponding emotion they act as. (ex. anger jester, sadness jester, etc.)

backstory of them is that they’re all runaways/orphans who found their way to this circus, have been working there since.

BACK TO JOY AND DISMAY. dismay arrived at a young age around the same time joy did. they quickly became close friends. not all of the jesters are close or even friends, but! these two had a genuine connection.

i will say tho.. on a different note.. while dismay had many questions and concerns about their situation and the circus, joy unknowingly tended to shut down those arguments by trying to keep dismay happy.

THE QUEER ASPECT:

im gonna be honest. there was no real relationship 💔

dismay developed feelings for joy in her 20s, but it’s supposed to be unclear if joy shared the same feelings or even knew. i never really had a solidified idea for this part of the story, but here’s what i considered a) joy wasn’t aware, and didn’t have romantic feelings for her b) joy knew but didn’t reciprocate. she also didn’t want to reject dismay and hurt their friendship so she wouldn’t mention it.

since it was the 1800s, option 1 is probably the most realistic and the one i'd go with.

BACK TO STORY:

then before the actual story would’ve even started joy would’ve died. uhhh

the original plot was that joy went cRaZY 🤪 and died for. Some reason. for obvious reasons i don’t like this plot point anymore!

HOW I'D WRITE IT NOW:

NOW. i would make it so that joy got injured on the job. probably one that’s more so internal than visible. joy doesn’t take time to heal and continues to overexert herself. eventually this catches up to her physical health, and when she has to rest, her internal injuries get worse. the show must go on however and because of that the ringleader continues to work her, even more so than before. maybe she’s delirious one day and another accident happens. everything piles up and she’s fatally injured. the ringleader notices she may not recover and therefore, is disregarded. replaced by someone else almost immediately

this isn’t the best concept but hey, it’s better than the original.

rating this a 6.5 because it’s onesided, unrequited, and.. bury your gays trope… you know…

san flor josé

BACKSTORY:

san flor josé resides in purgatory. in this universe, people either go to heaven and hell but if someone dies before their supposed time, they end up in purgatory. depending on where they were supposed to go, they’ll spend time trying to prove themselves to the respective ruler (satan or god) that they either: deserve to have another chance at life or if they’re in hell, that they belong in heaven instead.

san flor josé was born josé hernández flores in 1891, and lived in mexico his entire life. he grew up working class and his family was made up of farmers. in 1910, the mexican revolutionary war started and, feeling inclined to defend his family and the other working class people around him, he enlisted at age 19. (there’s more to this but! im trying to summarize). josé is 29 by the time the war ends, and tried to live a normal life after - going back to his hometown, helped out the community, and regularly went to church.

THE QUEER ASPECT:

when he came back, he met another man (at some point…) and they fell in love. due to the time period, they couldn’t express it freely and would only meet in private. they were together for 3 years when josé contracted a disease which developed into pneumonia. due to lack of resources, josé died.

josé was devoutly religious his entire life, and his sexual orientation was a main cause of distress for his relationship to his faith. however, he was hoping to end up in heaven. when he woke up in a desolate wasteland with the grim reaper standing above him, he knew something was wrong. he was then told he died at the wrong time, but there was a way to gain his life back. he agreed, and the grim reaper told him that he was going to end up in hell, so that was where he would be working. josé was understandably devastated: he was sure he did everything right. why did he end up here?

while josé was a man dedicated to his family and faith, his homosexuality was too great of a sin for god to ignore.

he renamed himself san flor josé, and still resides in purgatory, feeling no inclination to come back to earth. that thought died when his lover passed away a decade after his death. he has an established position in hell and is up in ranks, working closely with the grim reaper.

HOW I’D WRITE IT NOW:

san flor josé was sorta my commentary on someone trying to do everything right in their life, but oppressive religion demeaning their existence solely for the “lifestyle” they live. as you can tell i had a complicated relationship with religion in middle school LOL

honestly i don’t mind this backstory!! maybe im still not aware of its issues but i think it works for the story im trying to tell with him.

the one thing i would AND DID change was his relationship with another person in purgatory, tricky. tricky came to purgatory around 2016 and works under him. they had a .. weird relationship??? tricky would have a crush on him and flirt often. he wasn’t interested but .. he never corrected her??? it was very black hat and demencia from villainous coded. but also tricky died at 16 originally .. and he was 32. ummm ermm!!!

this is super weird to me now and yeah i changed it not too long ago! she still works under him but she’s more like a daughter to him than anything. tricky is 18 now too, but that’s just because I thought her story would work better if she was older. they have a lot more familial relationship in the story now.

i think i'd rate this a 7.5, i still like the story for the most part and i think his character conveys what idea i was going for

ian and max

BACKSTORY:

in the future, space travel is Somewhat commercialized. not in the “regular ass people going to mars” type way - more like government approved groups go to space to try and create alliances or are sent to collect resources. in my main groups case, they go to establish alliances and they work to help other planets, either with inner conflicts or how commercialized space exploration affected them.

the main crew consists of: amelie (the muscle and de facto leader), alice (navigator), ian (ACTUAL leader and dictates which planets they travel to), andromeda (tech & maintains care of airship), max (inventor & translator), and sirus (a robot max & andromeda invent later on) !

they all didn’t initially intend to work together (with the exception of alice and ian, childhood friend win), but since they couldn’t find anyone else they stick by each other.

IAN AND MAX’S RELATIONSHIP:

a few days in and they already don’t like each other. max is very excitable and - in ian’s eyes - irresponsible, while ian is reserved and - in max’s eyes - has a huge stick up his ass. though, ian disliked max more than max disliked ian - ian thinking max’s presence was not just a nuisance but an actual threat to the success of their group.

they continue! to not get along throughout the first 6 months of their voyage. but they’re functional, they can at least co-exist together. that is until something goes wrong on a planet, and max is the one that fucks up.

he's immediately apologetic, it’s an actual mistake he didn’t even try to overlook. despite everyone else understanding, ian snaps; he begins berating max, telling him he’s unreliable and shouldn’t even be in their crew. ian probably regretted these words the next day, but at that moment he was only focused on airing out every issue he had with max - the crew member that completely ruined their mission due to negligence. max is understandably upset; in no way did he mean to make this mistake, people slip up, it happens. ian isn’t listening at this point - while the rest of the crew chastises ian, max insults him back - noting how since the beginning ian has always had something against him.

this marks a shift in their relationship, as now they’re both on mutual terms of heavy dislike. they might work in the same ship, but that doesn’t mean they have to interact. so they don’t: they ignore each other and only interact if necessary (much to the rest of the crew’s concern and uncomfortableness).

this continues on until one day, both of them get captured by an alien planet. they are put in prison and placed right next to each other. for the first few days they don’t talk, thinking their crew is just about to save them. the week passes and they’re still in the prison cells. they come to the awful realization: they’re gonna have to work together to get out of here.

THE QUEER ASPECT:

max is an openly gay man, while previous to this, ian’s sexuality wasn’t talked about. this was gonna be the first time his sexuality was discussed.

this is where the story was gonna go: they start talking again in the cells, initially just to devise a way out. then, they start talking about their issues, and ian is .. supposed to confess he actually liked max the entire time.

max.. accepts the confession and they start dating after they come back to the ship. hm.

HOW I’D WRITE IT NOW:

umm I don’t like this idea anymore.. obviously.. soo i changed it!

how the story goes now: they refuse to talk the first few days, trying to come up with their own plan of escape. after the first week, they begrudgingly decide to truce (for the time being) and work on a way out. a month passes and they figure out a good plan, putting into action that same day. they’re on the run after this and need to find a place to rest. they travel for the next month, switching from place to place trying not to get caught. all the while, they try to regain communication with their team.

the whole month before they were only discussing solutions and plans, but during the second month they actively start to discuss the issues they have with each other. ian ultimately apologizes for his actions and, now seeing that max is more than capable of being a dependable work partner, starts to respect him. max is still hurt by the words said back on ship, but sees that ian wants to work on himself and that the apology is genuine. they’re not friends just yet, but they can work together and have a newfound understanding of the other.

when their crew can finally rescue them safely, everyone is relieved to find that they actually sorta get along now. thank god.

THE QUEER ASPECT (REWRITTEN):

throughout the story they become friends, genuine arguing turns into light hearted banter. max messes with ian significantly more, just for funsies.

they remain that way for a whileee when. guys. is it just me. max definitely has his arm around ian right. huh.

it’s more so a background development but they become kinda . Touchy. later on. no one really notices it but it’s a change for sure. well no one really notices it at first but when you see your kinda-boss lean in a little too close to the self proclaimed little freak of your friend group, things get a little confusing

the literal definition of an offscreen slow burn. its like klance but worse because its my original characters. they definitely talked about it on their own time but are they telling the rest of the crew anything? No. one day they’re chilling on opposite sides of the couch, the next day max calls ian “babe” in front of everyone. everyone on that spacecraft is getting emotional whiplash.

the old story i'd rate a 4 out of 10. new one probably a 6.5/7, it still needs reworking but SOO much better than the first one (atleast in my eyes)

overall i'd rate 10-13 year old me's writing a 5/10 he did try ill give him that but. sad trombone music. happy pride month btw :)

[materassassino]

Two years too late but who cares? I had to write something for this.

---

It’s rare that Phil will work Saturdays, but Mrs Regalado is on a tight schedule for downsizing, is an older lady with no other family close by, and is willing to pay extra (off the books), so Phil is more than happy to come in and help. She also makes amazing pastries he gets to sample (despite his wife’s pointed, purse-lipped looks at his midriff when he gets home) and he can’t possibly say no to those, so here he is.

He starts at a more leisurely time of 9:15 on Saturday morning, because he’s a man that likes to get things done early and has been for the last twenty years, and this allows him to get started on the drywall in the guest bedroom, which hasn’t been used for some time and is feeling all its age and neglect. Mrs Regalado wants it pristine for when she sells it.

He realises he’s forgotten something in the van around 9:30, and so he tromps downstairs to go to the van and fetch it, when two men leisurely stroll in.

“Imelda!” the bearded one exclaims, swooping in to kiss her on both cheeks. “Raggiante come sempre!”

That’s not quite Spanish – Phil’s stepson’s biological father is Mexican, and Mrs Regalado is… some flavour of Hispanic (she’s never cared to specify and Phil feels slightly embarrassed for not knowing more precisely), but it sounds similar.

“Buongiorno, Imelda,” says the other one, far less boisterously but with the same cheek kisses, and Phil does recognise that; Sandra wanted to go to Venice three years ago, and so they had. That’s Italian.

The two Italian men take seats at the breakfast nook like they belong there, greeted warmly by Mrs Regalado. Phil knows for a fact that they can’t be family. Mrs Regalado specified she didn’t have any family closer than Arizona, and anyway, people don’t usually call older family members by their first names. Perhaps they’re friends? Scratch that, they definitely are, but it seems bizarre that two men in their early thirties might be friends with a woman well into her sixties.

Mrs Regalado turns to the stove and starts making breakfast, while the men chat in rapid Italian, though Phil can’t quite figure out whether she’s included in the conversation or even understands any of it.

He goes to fetch his forgotten tape measure.

--

Next Saturday the same thing happens, except Phil is working on the downstairs bathroom by now, and he only knows because one of the men laughs, loud and buoyant and carefree. Phil pokes his head from the door, curious despite himself (a good contractor minds his own business, after all) and it’s the bearded man, wiping away a tear of mirth from the corner of his eye. He doesn’t, to Phil, look Italian, but then again Phil’s experiences with actual Italians from Italy are limited entirely to that one week in Venice where Sandra tried to beat some culture into his and Enrique’s heads with marble statues and the price of a single gondola ride nearly toppled him into an early grave. The other man, the quieter one, does, but that might just be the nose. He has the eeriest eyes, and just as Phil is thinking that, those eyes meet his. They’re piercing, magnetic and yet deeply disconcerting in their pallor. Phil has to look away first, embarrassed, but the man was wearing a small smile, so perhaps he didn’t mind that much.

It doesn’t really matter, because Phil still gets his own pastry and cup of coffee, which is very nice.

--

The job, all in all, takes five weeks, and by the end, the place is immaculate in the way something entirely blank and soulless is. Phil isn’t much of an interior designer, but Sandra has what he would proudly call artistic flair and she likes their house full of colour and knickknacks and comforting things. It sort of breaks his heart, what he sometimes has to do to places so people can sell them, especially a charming old building like this one.

“Oh no, che peccato!”

It’s the bearded man, now standing in the living room, frowning at the newly-white walls.

“Il terracotta era cosí accogliente,” he says, shaking his head.

Phil can’t understand the words, but he knows exactly what the man is on about. He’s only here for the last few odd jobs before Mrs Regalado moves into her much smaller, much more modern apartment, so he feels at liberty to stand next to the man, clearing his throat.

“People have no imagination now,” he says, shaking his own head with a sigh. “They need a blank canvas.”

He has no idea if the man understands him in the slightest, but by the frown, he probably does.

“Cruel, to a house that has withstood so much,” the man says, in flawless English with only the lightest, most unplaceable of accents. Phil wonders what the house’s history is, then, and how this man knows it.

“Joe, andiamo, dobbiamo incontrare Booker e Andy all’aereoporto,” says the other man, shrugging on his jacket. He meets Phil’s eyes again and nods, still wearing that small smile.

“Arrivo!” the bearded man (Joe, apparently, solving a mystery Phil wasn’t actively looking for answers to). “Let’s hope the next people are kind to it.”

And with that they’re kissing Imelda warmly on both cheeks and heading out the door.

--

“It has so much potential!” Davina says, gesturing around them, practically vibrating with anticipation. She will be dreaming of paint swatches and fabric samples for the next three nights, itching to make this house a home.

“We’ll take it!” Sonny says enthusiastically. Anything for Davina.

--

It’s an exhausting week of moving what they can when they can, bits and pieces, and finally taking the Friday off to do one last big move. Their friends help, and while everything is still in boxes only half of which are labelled (both of them can be kind of scatterbrained, sometimes), it already feels like it’s theirs. Like they belong. The house is warm and inviting, old and lived in and loved, and that’s what drew Davina to it.

They get pizza, eating it tiredly on their hastily unwrapped sofa that’s in entirely the wrong place, and collapse into bed not long after, utterly exhausted, comfortably enveloped in their new four walls, and looking forward to a lie-in the next morning, which is a blissfully unburdened Saturday.

--

They’re awoken, with a jolt, by the sound of voices downstairs. Davina’s eyes go huge with terror, and she grips Sonny’s wrist hard enough that even her dark knuckles turn paler. Neither of them wants to call the cops, and yet the only explanation for the noises can be intruders of some kind.

(Although, they’re not exactly keeping quiet, their voices carrying easily up the stairs, and it doesn’t seem like they’re speaking English.)

Sonny swallows. He’s never had to deal with something like this before, and he’s terrified, but the instinct to protect is stronger. His baseball bat is packed away somewhere, he has no idea where, and there’s no time to look for it, so Davina shoves her hairdryer at him instead. It’s a chunky thing, it could do damage if he swung it hard enough, and it will have to do.

Barefoot, he slowly tugs the door open, grateful for new, silent hinges and plush carpet that completely muffles his steps. Davina follows, her steps catlike. Sonny winces at every creak of every stair as they creep down them, but the voices don’t even falter, still the same volume, and clearer now: two men, deep in mellow conversation, in…

“Is that Italian?” Davina whispers, remembering when her father used to play opera in the car when he’d drive them to school (highly embarrassing, and her brother Shaun would desperately beg for him to be like all the other dads and play literally anything else).

Sonny presses a finger to his lips. They’re almost at the doorway to the kitchen. He steels himself with a deep breath, and leaps in, hairdryer aimed like a gun at the intruders.

There are two men there, a bearded one holding Radiator like a baby (the traitorous beast purring like her namesake) as he sits at the breakfast nook, and one with frankly astonishing green eyes, wearing an apron neither of them recognises, standing at the stove.

“Pensavamo che avreste voluto la colazione,” the man at the stove says brightly, gesturing with a spatula to the table set for four. His other hand is closed around the handle of a pan, and the smell is, frankly, delicious. Sonny’s face burns when his stomach rumbles, earning himself a smack on the arm from an outraged Davina.

“Trasferirsi di casa mette fame,” the other says, nodding, and Radiator chirrups brightly at the tickle under her chin.

Sonny lowers the hairdryer, staring at them. Davina splutters.

“Who are you people?!” she demands.

“We come with the house,” the man at the stove says in soft, but accented English, as if that makes the slightest bit of sense. “Do you like shakshuka?”

So my mom just told me about how her friend is a contractor. He was renovating a house and this older lady used to live there. Every Saturday these two Italian guys would come over and she’d make them breakfast. Nobody knew who they were but they’d let themselves in and sit down and she’d cook for them.

Fast forward to after she sold the house and new people moved in. The first Saturday they came down stairs to find two random guys sitting at their table with coffee speaking Italian and waiting for breakfast.

I don’t know how this would translate into a shitty old guard death but it definitely was joe and Nicky.

you know. just this once, everybody lives. what a lovely story <3

[blackleopardgirl]

What could help their tourism in the summer:

  Do you ever think that the managers of these artists want them to attract tourists from other countries? Because that’s the ONLY way that they’ll gain a larger fan base. I remember what one of the night club owners said about how excited he was for all of the new tourists for the summer. He said that he hoped that with tourists spending time at the resorts/hotels, and restaurants, that he hopes that they’ll spend time at the night clubs as well. However, this hasn’t happened and I really don’t see it happening.

 The reason for this is because their night clubs aren’t known like Ibiza or Mykonos. Those nights in Spain and Greece are known for playing music that most tourists from any country would want to listen to, party/dance music. Also, the artists that show up to these night clubs to perform bring in more attention and money, but they don’t bring in tourists because the night clubs and the artists that perform there aren’t tourist friendly. They aren’t artists that most people in Europe in general know about, and they aren’t performing music that tourists would know. Tourists can’t recall the songs, or sing along to them because they don’t speak the language. The atmosphere is fun and seems inviting, however it’s only fun and inviting for people who understand the language and already like the artists. It also can be confusing to see artists who are lip-syncing on a small night club stage, and sing poorly into the microphone while fans don’t dance, but just hold up their phones to record the performances. 

Cancún does a great job with creating a tourist sector for their millions of tourists that come to México every year. They know that most people who are coming to their country aren’t fans of or interested in Corridos or other traditionally Mexican music. This is ok though, because fans still like listening to music and still enjoy spending money and time at the night clubs in the area, which is all that the night clubs care about. 

If those that work in tourism in their country want to increase their profits and maybe people’s time, and their reputation for the country’s summer place to be in Europe, they should create more tourist areas. Not every place along the coast should be like this, but a few should be entirely tourist friendly. As rude as it might sound, the reality is, there are many people who just want to go to another country and go to the beach, drink, eat familiar food, and dance at night clubs. This is the vast majority of tourists who want to visit Ibiza or Marbella, or Mykonos in Greece. They aren’t visiting Spain or Greece because they love the ancient culture, music, and food. They’re going because they love the beaches, and the party culture. 

Maybe some local artists will be pissed because they can’t make more money at another club for the summer, but they need to get over it. They wanted more tourists, so this is what comes with that. They still have many other clubs to perform at, during the summer, festivals, even in Western Europe and North America, some of them even get invited to Dua Lipa’s festival every year in August. So there really isn’t much for them to complain about. (Plus they suck live! Nobody wants to see that on their vacation/holiday)

[sepanbanquet]

Why Sepan is LA’s Go-to Venue For Quinceanera Halls

When you were younger, do you remember how you used to watch all those beautiful Quinceaneras and think, “One day, that’ll be me”? Now, looking for the best “quinceanera halls near me” is on your list of things to do every day. In LA, where there are so many choices, it can be hard to pick the right place. But don’t worry, because we’re going to make that job a lot easier. A Quinceanera is more than just a party; it’s a rite of passage with lots of traditions, feelings, and opportunities to make memories.

In the middle of Los Angeles, there is a place that not only hosts events but also makes memories. Today we’ll take a dive into Sepan Banquet Hall & Catering, where parties are more than just dancing.

Sepan’s Commitment to Creating Unforgettable Memories Have you ever Googled “quinceanera halls near me” and been overwhelmed by how many choices there were? Well, Sepan is not just another name on that list. We help people remember what is important. With us, it’s never just about the event itself. What makes a Quinceanera special are the laughs, tears, hugs, and dances. We don’t just give you a place or space; we work with you to make sure every moment celebrates the joy of becoming a woman.

What’s our promise? To be with you every step of the way and make sure your Quinceanera is as special and unique as you are. After all, it’s the little things that makeup memories, and we’re here to make sure that each one is perfect. We can take care of every detail, from the menu to the security to the napkin color. We can certainly improve your event space in any manner you can imagine.

Going Above and Beyond Expectations What makes Sepan Banquet Hall & Catering different from all the other “quinceanera halls near me“? Well, it’s in the things that are different. Let’s start with the big one, which is our eco-friendly approach. That’s right, you read it right! We make sure that your events don’t leave a carbon footprint in a world that wants to be more sustainable.

Then there’s our wide range of food, which has something for everyone. From spicy Mexican food to mouthwatering meals from the Mediterranean, our chefs cook up a storm to make sure that every taste is satisfied. Feel free to browse some of our menu options on our website and ask for the package that best fits your specific event.

Let’s not forget to mention a bit about the halls themselves. Sepan Banquet Hall & Catering is flexible enough to meet all of your needs, whether you’re planning a small party or a big one. Our halls aren’t just about the room; they’re also about atmosphere, comfort, and making memories. The large hall at Sepan can accommodate up to 300 guests, and the smaller halls, 150 guests. All venues have their own private entrances and are exquisitely crafted with high ceilings, stages, and elegant illumination, among other amenities.

Our Best Location Is Where Convenience Meets Platinum Quality. In addition to our beautiful rooms, our excellent setting and location within the city is a big part of what makes us so special. When you’re looking for “quinceanera halls near me” in a hurry, location is the most important thing. We’re right in the middle of LA, so you can get to us from anywhere in the city. This is convenient not only for you but also for everyone who is coming to your event.

Sepan’s prime location makes it the best choice for any event, from quinceaneras to bar/bat mitzvahs, and birthdays to wedding showers. Our hardworking and helpful staff makes sure that everything is set up. No matter if you want a relaxed party or a formal event, our team works hard to make sure that your dreams come true. We don’t just want to meet your standards; we want to go above and beyond them. We want you and your guests to be blown away by what we do.

At Sepan Banquet Hall & Catering, We Make Stories, Not Just Events. When the music stops, the lights go out, and everyone leaves, all that’s left are memories and stories that will be shared for years to come. At Sepan Banquet Hall & Catering, we don’t just host Quinceaneras; we also write stories that are as unique and special as the girl who is turning 15.

So, the next time you type “quinceanera halls near me” into your search bar, think of Sepan. When you work with us, you get more than just a place to meet. You get a partner, a narrator, and a friend.

Send us a message on our website or give us a call if you’d like to discuss how we can make your event really unforgettable. Here’s to memories, special times, and Quinceaneras!