#they’re all over tik tok

[absbby]

bruh abby hate is so forced “but she killed joel🤓🤓🤓” plsss don’t get me started bc i can defend this woman all fucking day

[atlafan]

the l*tries are making AI edits 🤢

[yioh]

hmmm thinking abt how much i hate that trope where a character will literally leave the entire world/population to die just to protect the one person they hold dear.. idk esp when they’re portrayed as some sort of hero, i just think it’s such a boring and shallow characterisation to not hold anything as equally important and to not have any sort of moral conflict. to simply easily abandon all forms of life for the sake of your own selfish joy is so gross to me… like thats just a one dimensional villain. boring AND evil to the bone whilst being portrayed as a romantic ewwww.

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

Thinking of an Until Dawn opinion I saw once during a thread where people where arguing about whether or not Emily is an overall main character alongside Sam and Mike (this is OOF, but I’ll let it go for now). Then the argument I saw was that Emily is so popular on Tik Tok that people “wouldn’t still know about Until Dawn” without her existence. So therefore she can be seen as an overall main character.

[starkidlabs]

Creepy guy liking all my posts on Instagram and commenting “U always look so beautiful” etc. etc. Why is my life like this. I want to die.

[aizenat]

Anyway, glad our government got something right and is working to ban tik tok.

[jalluzas-ferney]

I just joined Tik tok again after like an year or smth cuz I wanted to find more edits of my fave shows and for my friends to be able to send my tim tons easier etc etc that’s not my point.

I noticed that the Ninjago community there hates Euphrasia WAYY too much 😭😭 and it’s getting very fucking annoying 💀💀

LIKE 😭😭 Why are are they calling her a “pick me girl” 😭😭 WHAT DID SHE EVEN DO💀💀 Everyone just pissed that “she’s replacing Morro” and it’s so annoying cuz- Morro fucking died 💀 it’s over 😭😭 look I dunno if when he died again he went to the departed realm or just disappears out of the phase of the earth but he wasn’t gonna keep his power anyways 😭😭 that’s just how it works 🦭..and if the case is that he went to the departed realm and there’s a chance for him to come back- then ok??? He’ll come back without his elemental power??? 😭 But then again I really doubt he would come back and y’all r simply gonna have to deal w that. Iike when an elemental master dies their power goes to someone else period. You can’t expect him to keep that damn power forever 😭😭 and it makes much more sense since it’s a new series- new generation of elemental masters. It’s not that surprising that they decided to find a new Wind master.

AND STOP CALLING HER PICK ME WHY DOES EVERYONE CALL HER PICK ME GIRL😭😭 srs what did she even do other than exist and just have morros “ex” elemental power😟

[v1rtu4ld0ll]

𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 | 𝐍𝐒𝐇.𝐑

⌞♡⸝⸝ 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬⌝ You loved your Boyfriends Moles , they were pretty , like stars scattered on his pale skin — his skin the universe and his moles the stars. You couldn't help yourself other than to kiss each and every mole you could see on his skin. ⌞♡⸝⸝ 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬⌝ fluff, established relationship, pet names (Princess), playful banter , kissing ⌞♡⸝⸝ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭⌝ 1k

⌞♡⸝⸝ 𝐃𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞⌝ Kissing his moles would heal me for real. Reblogs and feedback are appreciated!

The room was silent , only the sound of videos playing on your phone filling the room as you scrolled through Tik Tok , alternatively switching to Instagram reels from time to time while you were waiting for your boyfriend. The shower turned off in the bathroom next to his room , the dull sound of the shower door opening following after — he should be back soon. You sighed softly to yourself as you changed your position , moving from laying on your back to laying on your side with his warm blanket tucked between your legs as you continued to watch silly cat videos , silently cooing or laughing to yourself because of how cute and silly cats were.

“Made yourself pretty comfortable huh?”, the door opened and in came Riki , his hand rubbing the towel against his damp hair to dry it — an amused expression on his face as he took the sight in front of him in. There you were , laying on his bed and wearing his clothes as if you didn’t have your own — although , that didn’t bother him , he loved seeing you in his clothes. You couldn’t stop your eyes from roaming his upper body since he was shirtless , you loved his body , he looked like he was sculpted by the demi gods themself, and the moles — oh the moles , you love his moles.

They were so pretty , like the stars decorating the night sky , his moles were scattered across his skin just like the stars in the universe. He already had a lot on his face so it was only natural that he also had them on the rest of his body , you just wished you could kiss all of them. “Your room is my room which means your bed is my bed and your clothes are my clothes — So yes , I did make myself quite comfortable here”, you replied which brought a smile on his face along with an amused chuckle, mumbling about how silly you were while he picked up your discarded clothes on the floor and threw them onto his black couch.

The mattress dipped slightly as he sat down on the edge of his bed , your eyes staring at his back — the moles on his back forming a constellation on his skin , his moles really were like stars. “What’s this all about?”, Riki asked softly, yet he couldn’t hide the surprise in his voice as he felt your warm lips on his back , momentarily stopping drying his hair with his towel before he laughed quietly. “That tickles Princess”, he muttered as he turned his head to glanced back at you , only seeing the top of your head as you continued to kiss the moles on his back while your arms circled around on his waist — drawing invisible shapes on his abdomen which only made him laugh more. “Kissing your Moles , they’re so pretty and I feel like I’m not worshiping them enough”, your reply only made him shake his head before he fully turned around to look at you.

“You’re so silly. You literally count the moles on my face every single day and make sure you haven’t forgotten to kiss one of them”, he was beyond amused , a soft flush of pink dusting his cheeks — god damn it , you were too cute for your own good. “So? I can’t miss out on one of them!”, you argued back which only made him place the towel next to him before he put his hands on your shoulders and gently pushed you down on the bed , hovering over you with a silly smile on his face — even if he would have tried to stop smiling , he couldn’t.

“How about instead of kissing my moles, kiss me instead”, he asked in return as he stared down at you with love filled eyes , the back of his hand gently caressing your cheek as he leaned his face down to yours. “Boriiiiiiing , I want to kiss your moles”, you responded back in a teasing tone which only made him roll his eyes as he sighed in feigned annoyance. “Alright fineeeee, but kiss me first, after that you can kiss my moles as much as you want”.

“Deal!”, you chirped as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to you , his chest pressing against yours as he wasn’t prepared for you to pull him down so suddenly. “I’m going to crush you like that”, he mumbled with a slight chuckle but made no move to pull himself up , your body heat radiating through your clothes warming up his bare chest. “I don’t care”, you huffed before taking the initiate and placing your lips against his , his own practically melting against yours as he kissed you back, It seemed like he missed you or your lips as he , whenever you tried to pull away , chased your lips with his own to drag out the kiss as long as it could go —  the kiss so slow and gentle and filled with love.

After 5 minutes , he finally pulled away and let you breathe as he moved to lay down next to you , his head resting on his arms as he placed them behind his head. “Now you can kiss my moles as much as you want”, he chuckled softly as he watched you sit up and let out a small “Yay!”, his smile only widening once again before he fell into a fit of giggles as you kissed the moles on his tummy. “H-Hey , that tickles!”, he squirmed but didn’t try to push you away , his hands instinctively coming to cover his tummy to which you could only pout slightly.

”We had a deal!”, you complained playfully to which he could only huff. “I’m starting to believe that you love my moles more than me”, he replied back , returning your playful energy to which you could only stick your tongue out at him before attacking his upper body which kisses —  making your lover giggle and trash around again while telling you that it was tickling and that you were being silly. You loved his moles.

[uluvjay]

Baking cookies for F1 drivers after they give you a good wienering(sex)… 

(Thank you tik tok for this idea & @turcott3 for helping)

| OSCAR PIASTRI | honestly he’s confused when you present him with the tray of cookies, thinks they’re for his win but when you tell them what they’re actually for he blushes bright red and giggles.

“Really? For giving you good sex?”

But he’s still very appreciative and makes sure you see that.

| LEWIS HAMILTON | Smirky but finds it amusing, pulls you into a sweet kiss and ends up quickly giving you a reason to bake more.

“Honey I think you’ll need another bag of flour by the end of the week.”

Your home begins to smell like baked goods all the time and anytime he’s craving your cookies he knows what he has to do.

| CHARLES LECLERC | He’s slightly confused but horned. He giggles when you tell him what they’re for and while he does find it slightly silly it warms his heart. Pulls you into a sweet kiss before he eats one and praises you for the amazing taste.

“Almost as delicious as you mon amor.”

| LANDO NORRIS | He gets cocky but also finds it hilarious, definitely throws out some dirty remarks that have you blushing, he uses this to his advantage though and always asks what he can do to get more.

“So how many do I get if I get you pregnant??”

| MAX VERSTAPPEN | He is severely confused, he doesn’t understand what you mean or why you would make him cookies for giving you what you deserve but he eats them nonetheless and tells you how delicious they are.

“I don’t understand Schat, why did you bake me cookies for fucking you good? That’s what I’m supposed to do.”

| LOGAN SARGEANT | Blushes like a school boy, he doesn’t know what to say at first but composes himself and thanks you. Gives you a sweet kiss before eating one, he ends up having the plate gone by the end of the day and he makes his way into your shower later that night with one thing on his mind.

“Can you make snickerdoodles next time?”

| DANIEL RICCIARDO | laughs his ass off for a solid 60 seconds before composing himself and pulling you in for a kiss. He thanks you a thousand times before picking one up for you two to share but quickly gets turned on by the way your lips skim his finger as he feeds it to you and next thing you know you’re bent over the counter. An hour later he comes in to find the oven set at 350 and you whipping up more cookies for him.

“What flavor you makin’ this time?”

| CARLOS SAINZ | He gets so fucking cocky, the second you tell him what you made them for his smirk overtakes his face. He thanks you properly with a quickie before cleaning you up and getting you cuddled up on the couch as he heats up the cookies and gets you both a glass of milk.

“I could get use to these.”

| LANCE STROLL | He’s confused for a good 15 seconds before he starts laughing. He’s very thankful though and horned that you thought the sex was good enough to bake him his favorite cookies. Gives you a sweet “thank you baby.” With a kiss before he splits one between the two of you.

| ALEX ALBON | It amuses him, you’d mentioned doing it to him but he didn’t think you actually would until he walks in to find you plating them. He knew what they were for right away and couldn’t contain his laughter, soon your both bent over laughing.

Once they’re cooled down he devours half of the plate and praises your skill.

[moonchild9350]

Napping With Stray Kids

Summary: Just my thoughts on napping with Skz!

Pairing: OT8 idol Stray Kids x reader

Word Count: 881

Genre: fluff, suggestive

Warnings: none (shocking for me lol)

Notes: This was fun to write and had to put something together real quick before life gets busy again! I'm happy this came up in our convos @jeonginsleftcheek! I hope you guys like it!

Likes, reblogs, and comments welcomed as always :)

Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or repost this work elsewhere without my permission. ©moonchild9350 (2024)

Bangchan We all know Bangchan has insomnia and doesn’t sleep well or much at all but he’s more than happy to at least try to nap with you if you suggest it. He’ll hold off on his never ending to do list, because he’ll do anything for his baby girl. You snuggle into his arms, as he pulls the blankets up and around you to keep you warm. His fingers lightly drag up and down your spine, soothing you. He’ll even sing you a song to help you fall asleep if you want. Tucking your head into his chest, your breathing starts to slow as you fall asleep. Chan tries, he really does, to fall asleep and nap with you but he’s perfectly content watching you sleep in his arms.

Lee Know I’m convinced that if you try to nap with Minho, sleep won’t come right away. He’ll try and tickle you knowing how ticklish you are, giggling as you squirm and grab a pillow to throw it at him. He’ll tackle you and press kisses all over your face while you laugh and tell him to stop (even though you don’t want him to, not really). After retrieving the pillows off the floor, you’ll both settle in, Minho wrapping his arms around your waist and snuggling his head into your neck. If you’re lucky the kids will come nap with you guys too, Soonie napping by both of your heads, Doongie at your feet, and Dori snuggling into your side.

Changbin Changbin would be one to be watching videos on his phone like tik tok or YouTube and would giggle every two seconds at something funny. Every time you close your eyes to nap, his giggle would fill the room causing you to open your eyes and laugh back with him. You can’t help it, he’s just so darn cute! Eventually you do fall asleep, your head resting on your chest. Binnie notices you’re asleep (which is a miracle honestly because the man can’t multitask to save his life) and tries his best not to make a sound, you just look so peaceful and he wants to make sure his baby gets plenty of rest.

Hyunjin I believe that napping with Hyunjin would be the most poetic? Like you’re all curled up in his bed, blanket wrapped around you, your hair fanned out on his pillow. He’s sitting at his desk painting, cause when is he not. But you don’t mind. You watch him for a while, the way his hands move around the paper, the little face he makes when the color doesn’t come out the way he wants. You eventually drift off to sleep. Hyunjin notices, and smiles, happy you’re here with him. Little do you know, you’re sleeping form is the subject of his painting, as he thinks you look like an angel.

Han Han is the certified nap man, this is no secret. He is always down for a nap, add you in the equation and he’s the happiest man on earth. He’ll pull you into his arms, pressing sweet kisses and nuzzling his head into your neck. It doesn’t take long for you both to fall asleep. You’re just so cute together. And bonus points for the members if you guys fall asleep at the studio. They’re ohhhing and awwing at you two love birds, fast asleep together.

Felix On his off days, he’s at his computer, playing Genshin. It’s really the only time he has to play. But the moment you come over, he logs off and he goes to snuggle with you. You love looking at Felix’s face, tracing his freckles while he looks deep into your eyes. You’re both just so in love with each other. Your eyes slowly close, perfectly content in his arms. Felix would lean down to press a kiss on your nose, before closing his own eyes. He finds he sleeps best when you’re by his side.

Seungmin Now Seungmin could go both ways when it comes to napping with you. He could be a total menace by poking your face and tickling you. Making fun of your protests (lovingly of course) and not letting you sleep. Or he could be the exact opposite, a sweet puppy, pulling you close and softy singing you a song to help lull you to sleep. Either way he will end of falling asleep with you, mind blown at how he could have ended up with such a sweet person as you.

I.N. Now Jeongin is a middle child and hates skinship, this we all know. But I’m convinced if he’s going to snuggle and fall asleep with someone it’s you, the love of his life. It’s different when you touch him, he craves your touch more than he thought possible. He makes sure you’re all tucked in, nice and warm, but not so much so that he can’t feel you anymore. You’ll laugh at his actions, telling him you’re fine as long as he’s there. He doesn’t listen, he wants to make sure you have a nice rest and being warm and comfortable is part of that. To top it all off, he’ll drape your legs over his, and wrap his arms around you as you both drift off to sleep.

Taglist: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek

[hauntedhowlett-writes]

𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐛 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐬

pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x female reader

rating: explicit

word count: 4.1k

summary: joel agrees to go out to tommy’s favorite bar, where he watches you ride a mechanical bull and wishes you would ride him.

warnings: explicit sexual content (18+ minors do not interact), no use of y/n, dual POV, no defined reader age or physical appearance besides outfits, alcohol use, joel getting slapped, tommy is a little shit, first date anxiety, oral (m receiving), dirty talk, praise, pet names, girl on top, couch sex, unprotected p in v, teasing, deep throating, more men whimpering and begging 2k23. let me know if any warnings are missing!

author’s note: look, i know i’m in the middle of my spooky specials but i saw two very specific tik toks that left me with the need to write this 😵‍💫 also this post layout is inspired by @bits-and-babs, whose works and aesthetic are chef’s kiss.

“Why did you pick this place?” Joel grumbles, hand wrapped around a sweating bottle of beer. People keep jostling him as they squeeze past, forcing him to keep his elbow tight to his side to avoid having his beer be collateral damage.

“You’ll see,” Tommy says with a cryptic wink. Joel rolls his eyes.

Tommy has dragged him out to a saloon style bar, complete with swinging wooden doors and longhorn skulls decorating the walls. Everything is shiny dark wood and western motif, down to the saddle style barstools. Most of the patrons have leaned into the theme, too — tassels, leather, cowboys hats, and ostentatious belt buckles.

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen!” A man’s voice calls out over the speakers. “The show is about to begin!”

“Show?” Joel asks dubiously. Tommy only grins at him, dragging him by the arm towards the back of the bar.

He weaves through the crowd until they’re only behind a few rows of people that have gathered around a mechanical bull riding ring, of all things. The floor of the ring is inflatable and in the middle sits the brown bull figure. Joel catches his first glimpse of you, a gorgeous woman in denim cut offs standing beside the bull. Your black leather halter top plunges low to expose your cleavage and stops short of the waist of your shorts, a tantalizing strip of your stomach on display. The black leather of the top matches your black leather boots and the cuffs snapped around your wrists.

“One of Salty Saloon’s very own has stepped up to take the bull by the horns tonight!”

You lift a hand to wave, bright smile on your face as you take in the crowd. Your eyes land on Joel and for a brief moment he swears he stops breathing. He can’t hear anything the emcee is saying, all the noise around him just a dull buzz as he watches you swing yourself up onto the back of the bull.

“Alright, alright, alright! Our rider’s goal is to stay on for one minute using only one hand! If she falls before the buzzer, y’all get nothin’. But if she makes it, shots are half off for the rest of the night!”

A cacophony of cheers erupts around Joel and you straighten your spine, holding your hand out with a thumbs up. The music starts, some pop song he’s heard on the radio in the morning when he’s taking Sarah to school, and the mechanical bull turns in a slow circle. You have one hand twisted in a leather strap, the other raised above your head as the bull bucks and swings, your hips moving smoothly with the machine.

“Goddamn,” someone says from behind Joel. “I ain’t ever wanted to be a bull so bad in my life.”

Me, too, he thinks.

Your thighs press tight against the sides of the bull as it swings around, turning you to face the section of crowd Joel stands in. You release the hand grip, both hands in the air now as you rely solely on your legs and core to keep you up on the machine. When the machine turns again, you manage to lift your body and swing your legs around to reverse your position, now seated facing the back of the bull.

“Alright, ten more seconds!” The emcee calls out. The crowd starts to cheer your name and Joel can’t help but join in, eyes glued to you as you continue to swing and sway like all the movements are nothing but second nature to you.

“Three! Two! One!”

A cowbell goes off, signaling the end of your ride. The bull slows to a stop and you sit there for a moment to catch your breath, waving at the crowd. The bar owner, Johnny, comes out onto the crash pad with a huge grin on his face.

“Great job up there, kid. Now go sell some half priced shots,” he says with a good natured pat on your shoulder.

You return to the bar, where the other two bartenders scheduled tonight field the after-show rush, lining up shot glasses and filling them in quick succession with the requested liquor. When you get behind the bar, a familiar head of curly hair catches your eye.

“Tommy!” You call, excited to see one of you favorite regulars. He shouts your name as you stop in front of him.

“This is my brother, Joel!” He says, slapping the back of the man beside him. You’d seen him in the crowd, a handsome guy with broad shoulders stretching a dark blue t-shirt, warm tan skin, and messy curls that speak to the family resemblance between him and Tommy. You reach a hand across the bar, Joel’s calloused fingers dragging against your palm as you greet the man.

“It’s nice to meet you, Joel. Can I get y’all anything?” You ask. Tommy grins.

“Let me get this man a slap shot!” He yells.

You glance at Joel. “That okay with you?” You ask.

His eyes are comically wide as he nods. You step back to ring the bell behind the bar, your fellow bartenders whooping and cheering, a chant of “SLAP SHOT! SLAP SHOT!” echoing around you.

Haley sets a glass of water on the bar for you and you grab a pint glass, filling it with ice and two ounces of Jim Beam and amaretto. You smack the steel shaker on top, grabbing both glasses and shaking them vigorously over your shoulder.

You strain the contents of the shaker into a shot glass, amber liquid flowing to the brim. When you’ve got everything ready, you leave the back of the bar and squeeze your way through the crowd until you’re in front of the two brothers and can hoist yourself up onto the bar.

“Alright, Joel, are you ready?” You shout. He looks a little confused, brows pinched tight over kind brown eyes, but he nods anyway, holding his hand out for the shot glass. Tommy watches with a shit eating grin. “Three! Two! One!”

Joel takes the shot and you follow it with a glass of water to his face and a slap across his jaw in quick succession. Tommy is howling with laughter and Joel’s face is one of pure shock, red blooming across the skin of his cheek. He turns to his brother.

“Tommy, what the fuck!” Joel shouts. His hand wraps into the neck of Tommy’s shirt. “You little fuckin’ shit!”

You have the sinking realization that Joel wasn’t prepared for what a slap shot entails. You had just assumed this was something Tommy had told him about, having been to the bar so much the last few months.

Joel looks mad as hell, his shoulders tense and you worry he may actually throw a punch at Tommy. You hop from the bar and get between the two men, pressing a hand to their chests and pushing them apart.

"You, come with me," you say, pointing to Joel. "And you," -- you jab a finger into Tommy's chest -- "are on my shit list."

You take Joel by the hand and guide him to the back office, shutting the door and muffling the noises of the bar beyond it. His face is still dripping wet and the water dripping from his chin has gathered into a sizeable spot on the collar of his shirt.

"I am so, so sorry," you start, rifling through the storage cabinet for a bar towel. You hold it out to him, avoiding his gaze. "Tommy comes here so much that I just thought he'd told you about what a slap shot was. I should have told you, oh my god."

"Hey, it's okay. I ain't mad at you," Joel says, running the towel over his damp face. "Tommy, though. I'm gonna kick his fuckin' ass later."

"Still," you mumble, twisting your hands together nervously. "I'm sorry. Is your cheek okay?"

He rubs the towel over his head to dry his hair a bit, the action leaving him adorable mussed, curly strands sticking up in every direction. You're staring at him, maybe a little too much, but who can blame you? The man is hot.

"Yeah, trust me. I've had worse," Joel replies with a laugh.

"You get slapped by women often?" You tease.

"The number of times ain't just one."

"Oh, a bad boy. Mama warned me about guys like you."

He laughs again, long and low, running a hand through his hair. "Well, thank you for the towel."

"Right. And your next drink is on me. As an apology," you tell him.

"I'd rather get your number," he says. "You know, as an apology."

You raise your eyebrows at him before turning to the manager's desk, grabbing a marker and tugging the cap off with your teeth. You slide a hand down his arm, lifting his forearm up so that you can write down your number across the smooth, tan skin.

"I'm off next weekend," you comment when you've recapped the marker.

"I'll keep that in mind," Joel replies with a grin.

Joel's nervous as he waits outside of your apartment building in his truck, fingers tapping a nameless tune against the steering wheel. It's Saturday night and he's here to pick you up for dinner at a restaurant in downtown Austin, one that required he dig out the old black button down he keeps shoved in the back of his closet for parent-teacher conferences and funerals.

The front door to your building opens and you emerge, dressed in a pretty red wrap dress and black heels. Joel gets out of the truck and jogs around to the passenger side to open the door for you and he's surprised when you lean up and kiss him on the cheek.

"Hey," you say in greeting, climbing into the truck and settling into the passenger seat, your purse on your lap. Joel can't help the dopey grin that's surely stretched across his face.

“Hey, yourself. You look nice,” he replies. He shuts the door and jogs around the the driver’s side.

“You don’t look so bad either,” you tell him as he starts the truck up. He can feel his cheeks get warm and he hopes that you can’t see him the proof of his nerves in the dark cab.

At the restaurant, the host leads you both to a small table towards the back of the restaurant, pristine white tablecloth topped with a small vase of flowers and a flickering votive candle. A waiter in a white button down comes by to take your drink orders before disappearing the the kitchen, leaving the two of you regarding each other in silence.

“Look, I gotta be honest about somethin’,” Joel says, leg bouncing beneath the table. “I’ve got a kid. Sarah, she’s thirteen. Light of my life, you know?” He takes a deep breath before finishing with, “And I don’t think I’ve even been on a date since she’s been born, so this is just…a little new to me.”

“You have a kid?” You ask. For a moment Joel worries that he may have ended this before it could even get a chance to begin, but then your face lights up with a sweet smile and you ask, “Will you tell me about her?”

Joel does. In between ordering and eating your delicious meals, you and Joel discuss anything and everything. He tells you about Sarah and his contracting work, while you tell him about your full time job as a pharmacy technician, the gig at the bar a part time thing on some weekends. He nearly makes you snort your water out of your nose with a story about rescuing Tommy from the bathroom of the girl he’d been seeing when her long distance boyfriend, who Tommy didn’t know existed, showed up at her apartment.

“Oh my god,” you exclaim breathlessly. “And he just jumped out of the bathroom window?”

“To be fair, she had a first floor unit,” Joel confirms. “His royal pain in the ass still made me take him to urgent care because he thought he broke his ankle.”

“You’re a good brother,” you say with a smile. Joel feels the warmth of it in his veins.

After dinner, the ride back to your place is quiet, the comfortable silence filled with the low music from the radio. In a moment of bravery, Joel reaches over and lays a hand on your low thigh, just above your knee as he drives. He refuses to look over at you, but from the corner of his eye he sees you look down at his hand before looking back out the window.

He counts that as a win.

He pulls up the curb outside your apartment and kills the engine. You speak before he has a chance to agonize over what to say.

“Will you walk me to my door?” You ask.

He feels relief and anxiety in one fell swoop. He agonizes internally over whether to kiss you goodnight as he follows you up the stairs to your apartment, the buzzing in his brain momentarily silenced while he watches your hips sway as you climb the steps.

You stop on the second floor, guiding him down a long hallway to a door marked with a black metal number three. You turn to face him, looking up at him through your lashes.

“This is me,” you murmur. Joel swallows nervously.

“Right. I, uh…I had a really great time tonight,” he says.

“Would you…want to come inside?”

Joel’s brain short circuits. “Would I—? Yeah.”

You turn to unlock the door, pushing into your apartment and Joel follows you inside. The apartment is dark but you quickly turn on the lights as you move further inside, illuminating an open living room with a dining nook. There’s a door off to the right that he assumes is your bedroom and an open kitchen to the left. It’s small, but it’s cozy, bursting with colors and fabrics and mismatched furniture.

“Well, this is home,” you say with a shrug. You set your purse down on the small circular dining table. “Can I get you anything to drink? I’ve got beer, some liquor on the bar cart over there if you want to have a look.”

“Beer is fine,” Joel says, taking a seat on the comfy looking couch. You return with a bottle of beer, passing it to him before settling in beside him, kicking off your heels and drawing your legs up beneath you.

He takes a sip, fortifying his nerves. He wasn’t lying when he said it’s been a long time since he’s been on a date, but even sex has been a distant thought for the last year or so. He doesn’t want to mess this up.

“So,” you start, your elbow pressed into the back couch cushion while you lean your face into the palm of your hand. “You wanna know what I think?”

“‘Bout what?” Joel asks.

“You.”

“You got a report card ready for me already?”

“I think” — you take the beer bottle from his hand, setting it on the coffee table — “you’ve spent a long time being a caretaker. Right? You’ve got Tommy, who was already a handful. Your daughter, who’s obviously priority number one. You’ve got a business to worry about, workers to care for.” You shuffle closer on your knees, swinging a leg over his and settling yourself onto his lap. “This okay?” You ask.

“Yeah,” he replies, probably a bit too enthusiastically. His fingers curl into the couch cushions and he wants to reach up to wrap his hands around your waist but he’s not sure if he should.

You play with the collar of his shirt. “What do you think about having someone take care of you for a change?”

Joel’s stomach flips, cock jumping in interest as the blood in his brain rushes south and leaves him only capable of responding with a mumbled, “Oh?”

“I just think you deserve someone treating you real nice,” you say with a shrug. Deft fingers work at undoing the buttons of his shirt. “Especially when I was so mean when we met, slapping you across the face like I did.”

“Told you not to worry ‘bout that,” he replies, head dropping against the back cushions. “S’not like I didn’t like it.”

“You like to be roughed up a little, Mr. Miller?”

“Maybe.”

Your grin is wicked as you drag your nails down the now exposed skin of his chest. He hisses at the sting of it.

“Interesting,” you murmur. You lean close, chest pressed against his, hands coming up to frame his face. Your nails scratch through his beard now and he groans his appreciation.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks. “Please?”

You respond by pressing your lips to his, chaste as first. Your mouths move together slowly, feeling each other out. It’s you that takes it deeper, tracing your tongue over his bottom lip and dipping it inside to tangle with his. He wraps his arms around your low back, holding you tightly in his lap as he consumes you, drunk on the feeling of your breath in his lungs.

You drags yours lips away from his with a slick sound, trailing them along his jaw and towards his ear. You nip at his earlobe, teeth gentle and breath hot before whispering, “Can I suck your cock, Joel?”

A whimper claws it’s way up Joel’s throat as he nods, already unable to form words. He’s no stranger to turning into a puddle for a pretty woman but he’s certain this must be a new record.

You slip from his lap and kneel on the floor, pushing his legs apart so that you can settle in between them. Your hands reach for his belt, tugging on the buckle and pulling it loose so that you can pop the button of his jeans and tug the zipper down, the metallic sound loud in the quiet room.

Your fingers curl into the waist of his jeans and Joel lifts his hips a bit to aid you in tugging them halfway down his thighs. His cock tents his boxers in an obscene way, a wet spot already staining the fabric. You run your palms up his thighs before bracketing his member between your hands, lightly running your thumbs up his length.

“Christ,” Joel says, teeth digging into his lip.

“That feel good?” You ask.

“Uh huh.”

You smile beatifically before leaning forward, warm breath on his covered cock as you press gentle kisses through the fabric. Joel’s hips twitch and he lets out a deep groan.

You tug the elastic of his boxers over his length, tucking it beneath his balls. He’s practically vibrating with need but you continue to take your sweet time, pressing more kisses along his shaft, tracing the tip of your tongue over the prominent vein.

“You have a pretty cock, Joel,” you say, wrapping your hand around the base of him to hold him steady. It’s a struggle to keep his eyes open but he doesn’t want to miss the sight of your tongue lapping at the bead of precum gathered on his flushed tip, or the way your own eyes flutter shut as you let out a little moan of appreciation.

You wrap your lips around his cock, taking him inch by agonizing inch into your warm mouth and Joel feels any semblance of sanity disappear from his lust clouded brain. Your eyes stay fixed on him as take him in as far as you can, throat fluttering around the sensitive head when you swallow before pulling up, twirling your tongue around the tip, and plunging back down.

“Christ,” Joel groans, reaching out to cup your cheek. “You look so goddamn good like that.”

You lift off his cock and take it in your hand, moving it across your lips as you ask, “Like what?”

“Chokin’ on my cock, sweetheart,” he growls.

“That was nothing.”

Joel’s about to ask what you mean when you lower your mouth over his length once more. He can feel you flatten your tongue, your throat and jaw relaxing enough to take him to the very base, your nose tickling the wiry curls on his pelvis. He moans as you swallow around him, breathing through your nose and holding yourself there for a moment before coming up with a gasp, tears gathered in the corners of your eyes and spit making your chin shiny in the low light.

“So…I could keep doing this,” you tell him, “or…”

“Or?” He asks.

“Or…you could let me make us both feel good.”

You stand up, your hands untying the knot that holds your dress together so you can push it off your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor in a heap. You push your panties down your legs and unhook your bra, leaving you gloriously naked in front him, every inch of you like a piece of art meant to be admired. Joel’s hands, greedy and unfulfilled up until now, reach up to grip your hips and pull you onto his lap, your pussy hot and wet against his cock. He lets his hands wander over every inch of exposed skin, relishing the way your ass fits in his palms and the way you hiss when his thumb caresses a tight nipple.

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he moans, his lips against your rapid pulse, teeth ghosting the thin skin of your neck. “Need you so bad, baby.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” you whisper, reaching between your bodies to hold his throbbing cock steady, notching it at your soaked entrance and beginning a slow slide down.

Joel is panting against your sweat slick chest, mumbling desperate words into your skin as you take him inside of you as slowly as you can, thighs burning with the effort. When you’ve finally seated yourself on his lap, his head drops back to the cushion, eyes squeezed shut tightly and fingers nearly bruising on your thighs.

“Don’t move, don’t move, don’t move,” he begs. “Oh, fuck, feels so good.”

Where he’s desperate for you to stay still, you’re already desperate to move. His cock is perfect, thick and long with a slight upward curve, pressing up against your g-spot with stunning accuracy. You’re certain this won’t last long for either of you.

You rock slowly, forward and back, little movements of your hips. Joel lifts his head, looking down at where your bodies are connected with dark eyes. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, tangling your fingers in his hair and giving it a sharp tug that has him hissing your name.

You start to move more quickly, rolling your body in smooth waves over his. He’s panting as he looks up at you, sweat gathering at his temple, and his hands grip your ass and follow your movement reverently.

“So fuckin’ good,” he moans, “you’re gonna make me come, baby, goddamn.”

You speed up, bouncing on his lap now. Your couch creaks the slightest bit, protesting your movements, but you don’t care — all you care about is the man beneath you and the desperate little noises spilling from his lips as you make good on your promise to take care of him.

“Touch me,” you command. “I’m so close, Joel, please.”

He’s a good listener, your Joel, his thumb immediately finding your clit and circling it with messy movements that drive you wild, that tension in your muscles coiling tighter. Joel’s hips flex into yours with each drop down his length, the room echoing with the lewd sounds of skin against skin and the chorus of whimpers that spill from both of you.

“Joel, Joel, Joel,” you chant. He wraps his arms around you, really thrusting into you now as your own movements falter and you collapse forward, head buried against his neck as you come, trembling with the strength of it.

It’s not long after that he goes still, cock pulsing inside of you as the aftershocks of your orgasm wash over you. You stay slumped against each other, catching your breaths and waiting for your racing hearts to come back down to earth.

“That was…,” Joel says with a breathless laugh that shakes his chest. His fingers play up and down your back, soothing and gentle. “Goddamn, that was amazin’.”

“Yeah?” You ask, lifting your head. You smooth his messy hair back from his forehead. “You weren’t so bad either.”

He nips at your neck in retaliation, making you laugh and squirm away from him.

“Do you have to get going?” You ask.

“No,” he replies. “Tommy’s watchin’ Sarah for me tonight. He owes me one. Besides, I’m ain’t done with you yet.”

“No?”

“Not even close, darlin’.”

Joel Miller masterlist

All masterlists

[worldlxvlys]

can you do a fic where chris and reader are dating and reader interacts with all the edits of chris on tiktok and fangirls with the chris girls.

TIK TOK

chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: cursing, sexual jokes

a/n: i kinda love this, i don’t think i’ve ever seen anyone do a tik tok social au before

lmk what you think

**click yes to actually watch the edits**

WATCH VIDEO?

yes scroll

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

good LORD THAT MAN IS FINE 😩

@lustfulslxt

oh i’m DRENCHED

y/n -> the sturniolo police abt to get ur ass (same)

@flowerxbunnie

suddenly i’m on my knees 🫠

y/n -> literally me

@sturnssx

y/n is so lucky but idk if i wanna be her or chris more

y/n -> i’d want myself too honestly (i’m kidding i love chris)

@mattslolita

why is he not in my bed rn ??

y/n -> sorry bae he’s in mine ✌🏾i’ll tell him to go visit u later !

@its-jennarose

HOW IS HE REAL?

y/n -> the way that i genuinely ask myself this question on a daily basis

@sophssturn

GOD DAYUM 😨

y/n -> fr like who does bro think he is ??

@bernardsleftbootycheek

THIS IS CRAZY GOOD

y/n -> idk which is crazier, your username or this edit ( both eat tho)

@queen161718

the fact that y/n is always just lurking in the comment sections of chris edits absolutely takes me out 😭😭

y/n -> gotta support my man and his talented ass fansss

@cupidsword

i need him BAD

y/n -> same (i already have him)

@imwetforyourmom

i just need one chance 😫

y/n -> nah bae, he’s got a brother thooo !

WATCH VIDEO?

yes scroll

COMMENTS:

@ y/n

his hair is really nice 🤭

@evieolo -> I’M SAYINGGGGG

@nickmillersn1gf

it always looks so soft and fluffyyyy

@mbbsgf -> if he ever shaved it off i would cry

y/n -> you and me both sis

@mattsneezing

yesss, i love my husband’s hairrrr ��

y/n -> aren’t you a matt girl ?? where’s your sense of loyalty ??

@chrisstankyleg

my man is looking FINE

y/n -> girl, i don’t know how to tell you this…

@sturniolobltch

even the paparazzi is obsessed with his hair

@sturniolowhore -> can’t even blame them

@bethsturn -> he’s just so 😫

@ y/n -> you guys get it

@bernardenjoyer

biting my phone rn

y/n -> glad i’m not the only one !

@rac00ns-are-c00l4

long hair chris >>>

@ y/n -> NO FR, IDK WHY HE KEEPS CUTTING IT

WATCH VIDEO ?

yes. scroll.

COMMENTS.

@ y/n

MY MAN MY MAN MY MANNNNN

@chrisloyalgf

it’s a good day to be a chris girl

y/n -> it’s a good day to be chris’s girl

@urmom2bitch

HIS FINGERS GOOD LORD

@ y/n -> they’re long as hellll 😋

@defnotayonna -> wdym by that 🤨

@ssturniolo

chris girls, how y’all doing ??

y/n -> I’M LOSING MY MIND RN

@judespoision

i’m just a sturniolo girl atp

y/n -> AS YOU SHOULDDDD

@ y/n

HELP CHRIS JUST ASKED ME WHY THIS AUDIO HAS BEEN REPLAYING FOR SO LONG

@blueeyedbesson -> not you watching chris edits while you’re with him 😭

@ y/n -> THEY’RE SO ADDICTING

@hearts4chriss -> oh hey boo tell my man i said hey 😛

@ y/n -> oh is matt your man now ??

@ hearts4chriss -> …girl don’t play with me

@chrisstopherfilmed

GRIPPING MY SHEETS RN

@starsturniolo -> he’s so fineeeee 😩

@robins-scoop -> LIKE WHY ISN’T THIS MAN IN MY BED ??

@ y/n -> sorry y’all he’s in mine !

WATCH VIDEO ?

yes. no.

COMMENTS

@ y/n

PERIODDD YOU CLEARED SHOWING THIS TO CHRIS IMMEDIATELY

@ y/n

damnnn me and flo milli twinninggg 🤞🏾

@ christophersturniolo -> oh look at that it’s night

@readerakayourname -> CHRIS 😭

@fandomhopped -> he’s so real for that honestly

@ y/n

i’m absolutely obsessed with that first clip

@yamamasjumpercables -> i want this edit engraved in my brain

@ y/n -> no LITERALLY

@ineedchriscock

i’d let him choke me any day

@ y/n -> where is your self respect 😧 ( literally same )

@luverboychris

the only person’s babies i’d carry

@ y/n -> WHAT 😭😭 (real)

WATCH VIDEO ?

yes. no.

COMMENTS

@ y/n

his frat boy era will be missed 😔🙏

@rootbeerworshiper -> frat boy chris >>>>>

@ y/n

song choice >>>>>

@ christophersturniolo -> i wanna watch u get naked !

@ y/n -> then come over ???

@patscorner -> oh !

@junnniiieee07 -> ik those are the lyrics but i don’t think they’re joking 😭

@ y/n -> 🤫

@chr1sgirl4life -> THAT’S MY MAN MY MAN MY MANNNN 😍

@breeloveschris -> incorrect that’s MY man !

@ y/n -> idk how to tell y’all this…

@nicksmainbitch

this audio choice was the best decision you could’ve ever made

@vanteguccir -> this song is so chris coded

@55sturn -> frat boy chris + this song 😩

@mayhem-72 -> his smirk ?? are we kidding ??

@ y/n -> bros ego is INFLAMMED

he ain’t even the fart fr

WATCH VIDEO ?

yes. no.

COMMENTS

@ y/n

BODY ROCK OH I WANNA FEEL YOUR BODY ROCKKKKKKKK

@endereies

CHRIS + JUSTIN ??? THIS EATSS

@ y/n -> i’m sayingggggg

@sturniolosmind

smash !

@ y/n -> oh (i agree)

@disturbedwoodelf -> i love how no matter what chris edit i’m watching y/n is always in the comment section

@ y/n -> AND AMMM

@ mattsturniolo -> she has nothing better to do

@ y/n -> alr fuck you too then

-> and you can’t be talking you had to click at least 5 different drop down arrows to even find this reply

@ mattsturniolo -> i’m very busy actually

@ christophersturniolo -> matt you’re literally walking around the house catching pokemon

@nikolastrn -> damn they gagged you 💀

@bernardsbendystraws -> i’d rock his shit

@ y/n -> what do i even say to this

@ berbardsbendystraws -> wanna join in ??

@ y/n -> oh my 😨 (🤭)

CREDITS

@ frxy on tiktok

@ bl6tts on tiktok

@ sturniolo.vfx_ on tiktok

@ strvnloml on tiktok

@ chrislover476 on tiktok

@ edzbyang on tiktok

this took me wayyyyy too long to make, but it was so funnnn

lmk if you want more like this :)

no tag list cause i tagged y’all in the actual fic 😝

masterlist

[formulawolff]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪. setting it straight ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪.

pairing: female driver!reader x toto wolff

word count: idek tbh

warnings: age gap relationship, oral (f! receiving… toto is a munch confirmed) cursing, allusions to sex in public, toto being sexy, slight dom vibes (from toto), poorly translated german, probably some poor grammar, yadayadayada

a/n: i’m absolutely fried rn & it was missing toto and golden girl hours. i don’t apologize for this and will not be apologizing for how absolutely filthy it is!

his tongue drags.

it’s flattened against your soaked folds, carefully taking in the way your juices seep on to his tongue.

“t-toto,” the way his name falls from your lips is utterly sinful.

it’s a pant, a mere mewl brimmed with nothing but pleasure.

“what is it?” he’s nearly out of breath, intoxicated off your taste, “what is it, my love?”

“w-we shouldn’t,” your hips writhe, squirming as his hands envelop your thighs, tightening as the last few words tumble out, “we shouldn’t be doing this.”

“oh?” he cocks his head, “should i stop then?”

you’re teetering on the edge of cumming, just on the brink.

though, you don’t have to tell him that.

he’s well aware.

he can sense your ragged breathing, the way your chest heaves. how your battered clit throbs, swollen and engorged from his teasing tongue. your skin is nearly burning as the pads of his thumbs caress your inner thighs.

“please don’t stop.”

“are you sure?”

his mocha depths are almost a shade darker than usual, nearly an obsidian hue. they’re fiery with lust as he takes you in once again, absolutely soaked and aching.

aching for release.

he hums, prompting you to answer, “can i continue or are we done here?”

“you can’t just leave me like this,” you protest, shaking your head furiously, “please, toto. i need it.”

“and what do you need?” your jaw tightens as you notice the smug smirk, “tell me, baby. what do you need?”

“i need you to make me cum.”

“that’s all i needed to hear,” he clicks his tongue, obviously please with your answer.

there was really no explaining how you got to be in this position.

well, maybe there was.

it was a rough race weekend in spa.

with the disqualification, daniel’s little stunt, and your fourth place finish, it wasn’t really quite the weekend you had in mind.

you were over the moon for george of course. well, until the disqualification. that put toto in a pretty sour mood. not to mention the plethora of reporters and media following him around after that news broke. that really almost sent him over the edge.

and you didn’t want to him started on daniel’s little stunt either.

just before qualifying, you were in the garage with alex, recording a bit for your upcoming podcast episode. before you knew it, daniel was strolling in, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, proclaiming how much he missed you and how he wanted to rekindle your friendship.

the entire thing caught you completely off guard, your mind reeling as daniel shot you a wink, waving goodbye as he exited the paddock. it only lasted about three minutes, yet felt like an eternity.

and the worst part about it?

a fan recorded daniel as he left the garage, promptly posting it to their tik tok page. that tik tok was then plastered all over instagram and x, sparking all sorts of rumors.

rumors that you were possibly cheating on the team principal with daniel.

the incident left you speechless, unable to string together an incoherent thought, let alone focus on qualifying. you ended up placing eighth, one of the lower finishes you have had in quite some time. it left james questioning your ability to make a podium, not to mention the thousands of posts bashing you, undermining your skills and credibility as a driver.

although toto could see right through daniel, you could tell it had pissed him off.

more than he would have liked to admit.

so the moment you were alone, you found him in your driver’s room, locking the door, practically pouncing on you.

he wouldn’t say it, but you knew what he was doing.

he was setting the record straight.

reminding you that you were his.

and only his.

the only way he knew how.

“you’re mine, you know that?”

you blink, registering that he’s still positioned between your thighs, on his knees, hovering at the edge of the couch.

“is this about daniel?”

“natürlich ist es das,” his tongue darts out, circling around your clit, “ich musste dich daran erinnern, wem du gehörst.”

“hör auf damit,” you tsk, rolling your eyes, “you have nothing to worry about.”

“i know,” his lashes flutter as he murmurs, his gaze fixated on your drenched core. he lifts a finger, the digit tracing along your folds, “it’s not you i’m worried about. it’s him.”

“aber du bist der mann, den ich liebe.”

his heart skips a beat, the team principal’s lust dissipating for just a moment. he couldn’t help but melt at the softness in your voice, at the sureness in those words.

fuck, did he love you.

oh so much.

propelling himself upward, a hand connects with your cheek, thumb trailing along your cheekbone, “i love you, my sweet girl.”

“i love you more, toto.”

shaking his head, the team principal can’t help but grin, dimples forming as he notices your beautiful smile take shape.

“and i love you most.”

[lucauali]

princess treatment - michael kaiser

warning: suggestive but not fully nsfw, kissing, sensual touching, groping, kinda bratty attitude but mostly in a playful way, reader wears a dress and heels

this is very loosely inspired by that one tik tok trend about having a princess attitude and it made me think of him <3

205k likes, 30k comments, and 1.7mil views in less than three hours. 

When Michael posted the tik tok featuring you as his one and only, you knew it would probably garner some attention, but not this much. Not only was it a hard launch for your relationship, it also showed bits of pieces of what it was like to be Michael Kaiser’s partner:

-

It was late into the night and all you could think about was satisfying your midnight cravings. 

You got out of bed and slipped on some shorts and a random shirt that you found in Michael’s closet. The plan was to silently leave the apartment and go grab the food you craved before Michael could notice your absence. Said plan, however, fell through as soon as you grabbed the door knob of the bedroom. 

“Mein Liebchen, where are you going?” Michael’s groggy voice interrupted you. The German sat up as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He pat the empty space next to him and urged you to go back to him. 

You felt bad for waking him up, especially when he looked so sweet and precious in his tired state, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep, I’m gonna run out at get a snack. I’ll be back soon.” 

You tried to leave again, but you heard the sheets shuffling on the bed. Michael was walking towards you with his eyes barely open. 

“I’ll drive you. Wanna stay with you.” He tried reaching for you hand and finally found it after a few attempts due to the lack of light in the room. You tried to reassure him that you could manage by yourself and he needed to rest, but he insisted on going with you. 

This led to you being in the passenger seat of Michael’s Porsche as he drove to the closest McDonald’s. His hand was caressing your bare thigh as you both hummed along to whatever song was playing on the radio. 

Only Michael would take you to McDonald’s to satiate your spicy nugget craving in the middle of the night. 

-

After another successful victory for Bastard Munchen, Michael wanted to take you out to a fancy dinner. 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna go to the after party? I don’t want to take away you away from your team and ruin the post-game excitement.” Michael simply huffed at the inquiry as he adjusted the rolled up sleeves of his button down dress shirt. 

“Yes, I’m sure. They’re probably just going to the club. After all, they don’t have an angel of a partner waiting for them at home like I do.” Michael winked at you and laughed as you rolled your eyes at his last statement. 

You walked over to the assortment of clothes you had as options for tonight, “okay fine, but don’t complain when you get bombarded with texts and calls from Ness and the others begging for you to join them.” 

Michael completely ignored your statement and stood flush to your back, examining your options. 

“Wear the red dress. The one with the slit.” His hands lay on your hips and slowly rubbed up and down your sides. 

“Since you’re begging for me to wear it, I guess I have to.” You let out an exaggerate, but amused sigh as you felt Michael smile against the back of your neck. You slipped into the sleek dress with a pair of heels and applied makeup as quickly as possible. All the while, Michael wouldn’t let you go. Even as you were applying your favorite lip combo, he insisted you do so while sitting on his lap. His tattooed hand grazed tour thigh that was exposed by the slit. 

“On second thought, let’s just stay here.” The sheer audacity to say that as you were getting ready made you side eye the blond through the mirror of your vanity. 

Michael giggled as you simply ignored his suggestion, “I’m kidding, Meine Prinzessin, don’t worry. As much as I would like to keep you here for my eyes only, I want to show you off as much as I can.” He kissed the nape of your neck. You knew that his club manager’s request to keep your relationship a secret was starting to get to him. He had done well to keep it low key for the past year and seven months. 

You turned around so you could see him and  grasped at his pouty cheeks. It was a sight that you hoped only you would ever behold. Placing a gentle kiss on his pouted lips, you leaned your forehead against his. Michael closed his eyes and just basked in your presence and warmth. After a few minutes, he suddenly lifted you up bridal style and made his way to the front door. You giggled as he carried you all the way to the Porsche. 

You’re the only person in the world that Michael would choose to celebrate with in such an intimate way. 

-

Even as you scrolled through all the comments from the video, the buzzing didn’t cease. Thus, your beloved woke up from his midday nap, it’s for his much needed beauty sleep, he claims. Michael lifted his head from your stomach with his eyes closed, as he tends to do. His arms that surround your middle section squeezed just a tad tighter as he groaned and grumbled.

“What are you looking at? Put that down and nap with me.” You ignored his demand and simply turned your phone towards him. It took him a few seconds to adjust his eyes before he started to absorb what was in front of him. The smug grin on his face was expected due to the comments you saw that praised him as ‘god-tier’ boyfriend material. As fast as his smile appeared, it vanished.

Michael abruptly sat up with a mortified look on his face, “excuse me?! Did you see this? User ‘iluvkais3r’ said that you should leave me!” You actually didn’t see that comment, but it still made you let out a full belly laugh. Michael scoffed and pushed his face back into your stomach while grumbling incoherent words. Your hand found its place in his hair and you scratch his scalp. After a few minutes, you felt his breathing pattern even back out. Putting your phone down, you chose to join him in his state of slumber.

[httpsserene]

𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐰/𝐥𝐧𝟒

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you’re upset with the switch up the internet has pulled on you. a few years ago, everybody was saying you were too pretty for lando, but now they’re drooling over him? you will not be letting this slide.  📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: fluff. mild angst. humor. twt users being twt users. reader is a fashion designer (not important but mentioned). reader is also wild af. brain-rot. not beta-read. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: lando norris x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smau. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: spice girl • aminé

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: in honor of lando's birthday :) look y’all—i saw one tik tok edit that was like “why is lando kinda…” and i audibly said KINDA???? and then i got mad like, how are people just noticing how fine he is. and then i saw another one that was like, “oh everybody thinks charles is the prettiest on the grid…but now introducing: lando” and i almost threw my phone across the room :) so this is inspired by me flexing that i have always thought lando was fine, and that i’m also mad that i have to share him. loves, this is complete brain rot and it took me years to recreate these ig posts for some reason; have fun reading !!!

all pics are from pinterest/op's

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twitter • three years ago, 2020

instagram

yninstagram • three years ago, 2020

liked by landonorris, mclaren, maxfewtrell, lewishamilton, and 16,175,978 others

yninstagram lando norris is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with. he’s perfection personified. the most soft, kindest, sweetest, considerate, and funniest man has allowed me the privilege of being his girlfriend. i’m forever thankful that we get to grow together. he’s the cutest, hottest, and prettiest boy to ME–and that’s all i care about, and that’s all you need to accept. i don’t give a FUCK about your opinions on who *i* should date. i’m the only person who’s decisions matter concerning my romantic relationships. why the hell should y’all bitches who don’t even use their own photos for their pfp’s and use a k-idol’s face instead, dictate who is hot or not. it’s incredibly vein, disgusting, and immature behavior from people who think they’re my fans. acting like jealous school children isn't cute; i was never your property. it’s hilarious too, considering some of y’all are grown women DOUBLE my age talking shit about my business–go worry about why your kids don’t want anything to do with you anymore.

tagged landonorris

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yninstagram matter of fact, go ahead and change your little profile pictures to real pictures of you, i don’t want to see any filters. then we can all see that all y’all want to do is spread insecurity stemming from your own self-hatred 🙂

yninstagram and while i have you all here, my winter season clothes will be restocked on the 15th.

comments have been disabled.

twitter • imessage • 2023

instagram

landonorris • august 24th • zandvoort ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, carlossainzjr, and 547,930 others

landonorris back in my favorite place

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yninstagram first!! stay back hoes 🤺🤺

➥ user being called a hoe by y/n is not what i expected this year

➥ user she has notif’s 😭on 😭 for 😭 lando 😭

yninstagram how r u so HOT 🥵

yninstagram that sweater is mine now 👺

➥ landonorris i can just get another for you love

➥ yninstagram …i want this one lan🫤

➥ landonorris okay it’s yours 🫠

user neither of them have any backbone when it comes to each other

➥ yninstagram as it should be 😤

user might have to trip and fall into lando’s arms this weekend

➥ yninstagram i’m flying in tomorrow rethink your plan 🙂

➥ user i think i’ll avoid lando like the plague this weekend 😅

➥ user smart decision babes

landonorris • september 12th

liked by yninstagram, lnfour, tumitravel, and 425,395 others

landonorris coming in hot @ tumitravel

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yninstagram come in me—i mean come home to me haha 😳😊

➥ landonorris babe please not in front of the sponsors 😧

➥ tumitravel oh no pls don’t stop for us 🫣 we stan y/n

user i saw this photo shoot LIVE!!! lando was so sweet, he signed my hat for me, and he smells so good 😩😩

➥ yninstagram i’ll chop off your nose and then you can be voldemort for halloween 👺

user i don’t know if i want to choke him or have him choke ME

➥ yninstagram how about me choking you

➥ user omg i’m down for a threesome 😳

➥ yninstagram choking you to death :)

➥ user i don’t wanna play this game anymore

landonorris • september 18th • singapore ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 950,706 others

landonorris whatttaaaaa weekend ❤

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yninstagram GODDAMN

carlossainzjr vamossss landito ❤️💪🏼🏆

➥ landonorris ayyyy 🧡🥳🥳

➥ yninstagram my boysssss 🥰

yninstagram that’s my boyfriend 🤤

➥ landonorris last photo is just for you 😋

yninstagram so proud of you baby, i’m running out of room to put all these trophies <3

➥ landonorris v happy to be your trophy husband

user i’m in love with this singapore haircut 🤤 thank you for not fucking it up lando 😅

➥ yninstagram mmm yes, i’m thrilled it’s still long on the top 😍 it gives me something to tug on

user surprised y/n allowed him to post that last one

➥ yninstagram he doesn’t need my permission, but i get to see him naked so i rdc

user quadrant helmet it so beautiful! i want it to stay 😭

➥ user i want him to fuck me with it on

➥ yninstagram out of pocket…but completely valid honestly—delete your account 😊

liked by landonorris

yninstagram carlando 1-2 makes up for the war i’m fighting in these comments

mclaren • novemeber 8th

liked by landonorris, f1, yninstagram, and 97,293 others

mclaren pulling up fresh with @ landonorris

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yninstagram not pictured: @ landonorris pulling up to OUR flat

➥ user y/n said “he’s coming home with meeeee”

f1 does he come with the jacket👀

➥ yninstagram no, but the price of me folding you like a lawn chair is included in shipping & handling

➥ f1 i’ll go sit down 😅

➥ user she’s fighting the f1 main??? this is mentally-ill behavior y/n!!!

yninstagram mclaren admin go stand in a corner and stare at the wall

➥ mclaren they made me post this!!! i would NEVER risk upsetting you ma’am 🙇🏼‍♀️

➥ yninstagram no talking from the timeout corner 🫵🏽

user we don’t care about the jacket. which organ do i have to sell to buy an hour with him?

➥ yninstagram both kidneys

➥ user but you need at least one kidney to live?

➥ yninstagram how,,,unfortunate

user model!lando always glowssssss

➥ yninstagram it’s the 9 step skincare routine i have him on, you can follow steps 1-8 on his ig

➥ user what’s step 9?

➥ yninstagram kissing me 🤭

lando.jpg • novemeber 13th • with my wife ⚑

liked by yninstagram, carlossainzjr, mclaren, team_quadrant, and 976,234 others

lando.jpg lucky to have found you so early in my life. you're my best birthday gift.

tagged yninstagram

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yninstagram posting my side boob on the jpg account? forgiven since you called me your wife 🥺

➥ lando.jpg thought i’d start practicing your future title, mrs. norris

➥ yninstagram come back to bed. you can start practicing giving me your kids too.

user i want y/n to bury my head in between her boobs

➥ lando.jpg no. i sleep there also—you’re blocked 🤗

danielricciardo as long as i’m the godfather, i can forget i’ve ever read this 🤮

➥carlossainzjr get in line mate, i’ve called being baby norris’ godfather ages ago

➥maxverstappen wait your turn mates, clearly i am the correct choice for godfather

➥maxfewtrell ah, i believe you lads have forgotten my existence

➥yninstagram baby norris doesn’t exist yet, no need to fight to the death rn 🙄

➥lando.jpg i’ll convince the mrs to have four, for my racing number and so you each have a godchild 😅

user y/n may have won the war, but i’ve won the battle—bisexuals have been fed today!!!

➥user girl, i’m straight and i’ve zoomed in on the last photo an unhealthy amount of times

➥user i diagnose you with y/n-sexuality it’s incredibly common in humans

liked by lando.jpg

oscarpiastri you two are made for each other 😀

➥lando.jpg this sounds like an insult 🙂

➥yninstagram i thought kids under 13 weren’t allowed on ig

➥oscarpiastri you’re not even a year older than me @ yninstagram

mclaren mama y papa

➥ yninstagram still on timeout.

➥ mclaren :(

taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz

© httpsserene2023

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

hi saffy…can i request again? something fluff for a change. (you’ve drowned me with all the super hot hot hot smuts and now im swimming with—ahem..nevermind that) 😅

you know the tiktok trend of s/o leaving and their partner saying ‘i love you’ but the other is not saying back (or vice versa)? like they’re all pouty and demanding to have the other say it back or asking if they did something wrong..one vid even has teasingly repeats ‘i love you’ over and over again until their s/o gives in laughing.

how about the COD men (tf141, lv, konig) saying ‘i love you’ but never getting any in response as a prank?

only if you’re keen for it. please and thank you. 🥰

Yesss!!! I'm happy to do this one🙂❤️ (promise I'm still workin on your other one😉)

141 + LV & König x Reader, Where You Don't Say I Love You Back

Warnings: swearing, MILD smut reference, fluff

Simon Ghost Riley-

“Alright, love, I’m headed out. I shouldn’t be gone too long.” Simon said as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I love you.”

“Have a good time with Johnny!” You gave your husband a warm smile, before looking back to the book you were reading. 

Simon paused for a moment and stared at you. His eyes narrowed at you, as you attempted to pay him no mind. You feigned ignorance as you turned to address him. 

“Everything okay, babe?”

He said nothing in reply, only continued to stare at you, crossing his arms.

"Simon?" You swallowed thickly. He was doing his best to intimidate you, and you'd be lying if you said it wasn't working.

He didn't take his eyes away from yours, as his brow furrowed slightly, giving you a menacing stare.

The two of you stood like that for the better part of two minutes, before you relented on your little prank. “Okay okay! Enough of that staring, it's creepy. I love you too Simon.”

“Damn fucking right you do.” He gave a satisfied smirk, before leaving.

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

“So just milk, right?” Johnny had asked, as he unbuckled his seat belt. The two of you were in the supermarket parking lot. Johnny had offered to go in quickly, as you only needed one thing.

“Yep, thanks babe!” You smiled, before looking back to your phone.

“Alright. Be right back. I love you.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek before opening the car door.

He was halfway out the door, when he realized you weren’t planning on saying it back. “I love you.”

You looked up from your phone, the same smile still plastered on your face. “I know, thanks again!”

Johnny's face held a look of astonishment, as he moved to tickle at your sides. You squirmed in your seat, a fit of giggles erupting from your lips. “I SAID, I LOVE YOU, DAMNIT!”

You squealed as he continued his attack on your sides, before gasping out “I love you too Johnny!”

“There we go, lass. Was that so hard?” He had a mischievous smirk lining his lips. He pulled away his arms and crossed them against his chest arrogantly. 

“Screw you Johnny.” You chuckled, throwing an empty water bottle you found on the floor at him. 

“You love me though, you just said it yourself.” He quipped before stepping out of the car fully. “Next time you pull that shite with me, you’ll be in for worse than tickles."

König-

You’d seen the various tik toks, of lovers not telling their partners they loved them back, and were curious to see how your boyfriend König would react.

"Hey, Kö. I'll be back in just a bit, going out for a drink with Kate." You pressed a kiss to your husband's cheek. 

König tore his eyes away from the computer screen, and gave you a small smile. "Have a good time, Maus, I love you." 

"Thanks babe!" You bit your lip slightly, trying to prevent yourself from ruining the prank.

You turned after giving him a half smile and made your way to the bar. 

König sat in silence for a moment after you left, reflecting. Had he done something wrong? Why didn't you say it back?

He started to feel terrible and tried to think of what he could've done to upset you. Nothing came to mind immediately, but König knew he had to do something to make it up to you, whatever he'd done. 

He set out your silky pajamas on the bed, and got out the makings for a bubble bath, as he awaited your text alerting him you were on your way home. 

Later that night, as you walked through your front door, you were immediately hit with an aroma of lavender. You recognized it right away as the bubble bath you loved so much. "Kö? Baby, I'm home."

You made your way up to the bathroom, to find your boyfriend hunched over the tub, checking the temperature of the water. "Schat! You're home!" 

You lifted your brows in question as you took in the scene before you. "What's this?"

"Oh.. I wanted to make it up to you for making you upset. Water is ready for you." He gestured to the bubble filled tub, not fully meeting your eyes. 

"Wait.. upset with you? Why would I be upset with you?"

"Well…earlier.. you didn't say it back. So I thought I'd done something.. wrong." He looked down to his feet. 

You couldn't help the small chuckle that emitted. "König, no! No, no, that was some stupidly horribly prank, I wasn't mad at you. Gosh, now I feel terrible! I love you so much, baby." 

You dropped your purse and moved to wrap your arms around his waist. König let out a deep breath as he chuckled. "I love you too, Maus. Now get in this bath. I believe I'm the one who's owed a massage now."

John Price-

You and Price were cuddled on the couch together, his fingers tracing your sides softly. 

"I love you, Y/N." He said, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

You turned to him and gave a warm smile before turning back to your TV show. 

Price blinked a few times, realizing you weren't planning on saying it back. He gave your side a playful pinch, causing you to let out a shriek. "I said, I love you. Nothing to say in return?" 

"Oh! How silly of me. Thank you sweetheart." You turned to your husband and batted your eyelashes at him sweetly.

Price looked exasperated at your words, his mouth dropping open slightly. "Oh hell no." 

He grabbed your waist, and threw you over his shoulder, making his way up the stairs to your bedroom. 

"Wait wait! I'm sorry, I love you too!" You called out, trying to squirm from his grasp. 

"Too late for that, sweetheart. Now get on all fours on the bed like a good girl." Price said as he threw you onto the bed. The slap that came down on your ass cheek told you that you'd be in for quite the night. 

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

"I miss you, babe." Kyle's voice came through your cell phone. "I'll be home soon enough though."

"Unless it's yesterday, it's not soon enough." You chuckled, picking at some chipped paint in your kitchen table. "I miss you too."

"Well I gotta get going, I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I love you so much Y/N."

Your cheeks started to heat up at the sincerity of his words. "Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Night Ky."

You hung up the call and let out a giggle. You'd seen the tik toks dozens of times where people didn't say I love you back and were curious to see what Kyle's reaction would be. 

Sure enough, seconds after you'd hung up. Kyle's name appeared on your phone. He was calling back. 

"Hey, are you all good?" You asked as you answered the call.  

"No, I'm not all good." Kyle huffed in mock annoyance. "Forgetting something?"

"Oh? Is it our anniversary? I could've sworn that it was next month."

Kyle let out an amused chuckle. "Seriously, babe. I love you."

Unable to continue on with your little prank you relented. "I love you too Kyle, always."

"Good girl, now we can hang up properly."

Alejandro-

"Thank you so much for putting all this together, mi amor. The guys are grateful too." Alejandro pressed a kiss to your hand as he gathered the freshly made food from the counter. "I love you."

You were currently hosting a few members of Los Vaqueros at your home to watch a soccer game, and had just cooked up a few entrees to satiate their hungry bellies. 

"Of course, let me clean up and I'll come out in a moment." You turned back to the dishes in the sink, before hearing the dishes being set on the counter behind you.

"What, you not love me too?" Alejandro asked, coming up behind you, pulling you into him. He nipped your ear playfully, causing you to giggle. 

You squirmed in his firm grip as he continued to talk, mocking your voice. "Oh Alejandro. I love you too, you're the best husband in the whole world."

You erupted in a fit of laughter as he began squeezing at your sides. " I. Love. You. Too." You wheezed out. 

"Now was that so hard?" He teased, pressing a kiss to your jaw. 

He took your hand leading you into the family room, and stopped abruptly when all the men in the room started chanting out, "We love you too, Alejandro!"

Rodolfo-

"Okay babe, I'm headed out to the store, I'll be back in an hour or so." You called out to your husband, who came to walk you to the door.

"Alright, let me know when you're on your way back, and I'll get dinner started. Drive safe, I love you." He gave you a chaste kiss as you opened the front door.

"Thanks love, see you in a bit!" You smiled before walking out to your car. 

Rodolfo moved to the door before realizing you hadn't said you loved him back. He quickly grabbed his sandals and ran out to your car.

You were just about to pull away, when your husband came running up to the driver's side window. He knocked on it, letting you know to roll it down. 

"Yes? Forget to add something to the list?" You turned to him, your brows furrowed.

"No, but you forgot something." He waited expectantly for you to reply, but you sat confused. 

"I love you, Y/N." He repeated, putting emphasis on his words. 

You let out a giggle, a smile breaking on your face. "I love you too, sappy bastard. Now move or I'll run over your toes."

You gave him a peck before pulling away. Rodolfo shook his head, laughing to himself. He got himself one spicy partner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~