#they’ll be made as an adopt sometimes soon <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[yellowplumfruit]

polaris

[pansy-picnics]

No idea if they would since they all live in a castle but how do you think the uknighted parents each would deal with empty nest syndrome?

AUDJSJSD NGL I’VE KINDA BEEN HOPING FOR A QUESTION LIKE THIS BC!! they DO. and they are NOT good at it. AT ALL.

ukd are very adamant on giving their kids the freedom they never had growing up, so as long as they’re managing their own duties they’re basically free to do whatever (though eugene can be a Little overprotective sometimes he means well). of course bc ilmari’s adopted and isn’t of any royal blood they end up being the first to leave the nest… i’ve already discussed that vaguely here, so this time i’m gonna talk more abt ryder!!

being the eldest of the twins ryder is technically supposed to take on the throne to corona, and people have a LOT of high expectations from him, especially other nobles/those who were….less than pleased with rapunzel’s approach to ruling. he’s basically seen as the “light” of corona and has been held on a pedestal since he was very young, which leads him to repress himself and puts a lot of strain on his relationships for many years- especially with alina who’s often left in his shadow (and he doesn’t mind it per se!!! but he does feel like her life is pretty directionless, and she’s always been rather dependent on ryder bc of it).

all this to say, eventually on their 18th birthday everything boils over and leads to a nasty fight between the twins. they both kinda realize that they need to grow up and branch out in their own ways- and ryder in particular realizes that he rlly just needs to get Away for a while. so going to help edmund in the dark kingdom seems like a pretty good way to gain some new perspectives!!

after all the pressure she was under herself, rapunzel understands this more than anything…..but that doesn’t make it any easier for her (or cass and eugene, for that matter) to accept. :’3

idk if any of you guys watched steven universe future, but i think they’d all be like this final scene like. ALMOST WORD FOR WORD LMFAO

in fact as soon as ryder even suggests the idea to rapunzel shes awkwardly slipping out of their painting session and running to cass and eugene in TEARS and they cry for a good 3 hours but obviously they want to be SUPPORTIVE and STRONG for their BOY!!! so they pull themselves together and when he brings it up again at dinner they’re like. “omg thats great!!! ^_^” and ryder is just like ?????????

and ryders almost a little hurt that they seem so unfazed so he tries to prod them like. Aren’t you guys upset. but they don’t budge. and so obviously right at the end as he’s saying goodbye to everyone and they’re STILL nonchalant abt it he just bursts into tears like “WHY AREN’T YOU GUYS SAD IM LEAVING :(“ and IMMEDIATELY the three of them all jsut run to him BAWLING

ryder rlly enjoys his time in the dark kingdom actually. obviously edmund and the brotherhood have a Lot of flaws in their approach to ruling….but that’s not rlly what ryder needs anyways. i think they’re very goal oriented and focused on what they can do as a unit rather than what other people think of them, and that’s a lesson ryder definitely needs to learn. not to mention he brings a lot of color to the place (both in a literal and metaphorical sense).

alina pretty much stays in corona tho…which her parents certainly aren’t complaining about. i think he really needs some time to stand up and take on more responsibility without ryder stepping in for him. the twins wont be taking on the thrones anytime soon, but i think when they do, they’ll end up switching- so ryder will be the king of the dark kingdom, and alina will take on the role as queen of corona. alina’s always had deeper ties to her kingdom than ryder did…not to his fault, but the pressure he’s had put on him just made it hard for him to focus on the things that Mattered, yk? he’s ended up being very stuck in his status, while alina has been a lot more down to earth and has always felt a closer connection to the public, if that makes sense… :3

but ryder and ilmari still visit all the time, and ilmari will take over the library one day too…like, raps, cass and eugene haven’t been Perfect parents by any means, but they’ve never failed to make sure their kids know just how strong, capable and loved they are. even though it hurts to see them go (and poor alina definitely has to deal with their theatrics and coddling for YEARS while her older siblings are gone), it’s very clear that no matter where they go, their kids will always know their home is with them, yk??? they love their parents so much and it just makes me so emo😭😭😭

additionally, i think uknighted dream kind of do some equivalent of fostering long after their own kiddos leave the nest… the three of them do a lot of community work, they have a lot of programs instilled for struggling families and kids alike. they end up helping pretty closely with a lot of the orphanages, not only with funding but also by putting in their own work. they visit a lot, come to tons of events…they end up forming a lot of bonds with the kids individually, or occasionally take them in when there isn’t anywhere else for them to go.

sometimes they know these kids for years, sometimes only for a few weeks…but they always try to stay in contact with them regardless. and even when that isn’t possible, they never forget about any of the kids they’ve met….so by the time they’re all old and grey, they basically have hundreds of pseudo-kids and grandkids all across the seven kingdoms, and in a way, their nest never really feels completely empty 🥹🫶

[nevermindirah]

Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

[thewritingginger]

Daddy au - Jean Kirstein

Imma say it, I love Daddy AUs and I'm not afraid to admit it! 

So it’s 2am and I couldn’t help but write some and I’m really into AoT rn so I chose one of the boys that’s I believe would live to be a dad.

Please mind any possible mistakes :)

Fandom: Attack on Titan Warnings: Fluff, Modern au, Mentions of pregnancy

Enjoy ~

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Wants to be a Papa!

Biological, adopted = no difference

Loves the idea of watching his partner grow with his children

When you told him he honestly didn’t know how to respond - Excited! Scared! About to pass out!

“Really? Oh my god, I love you so much!”

“Whatever you need I got it!”

Just hugged and attacked you with kisses and cuddles 

Will for sure 1000000% be talking to your belly, especially when you’re sleeping (gets a little embarrassed when you’re watching him)

Constantly touchin the bump!

Are you cooking dinner? He’s hugging you from behind cuppin the babe

Chilling on the couch? He is either wrapped around you w/ one arm on the back of the couch and the other holding your belly OR Laying on your lap in which he will pet, kiss and talk to your little one

For the nine months this child is cookin he will, more than usual, treat you like a goddess on earth bending to all your needs

Got a craving at 3am? Will gladly take his ass to the store for you.

“If you think of anything else you need while I’m out just give me a call, baby.”

“While I was there I also got those snacks you really like.”

Always goes to your appointments and listens very closely to what the doctor says

Can be a little bit of a worry wart at times

“Let me carry that, Baby! You are already carrying precious cargo.”

“You should sit down, we did a lot of walking today.”

“Do you need a pillow for your feet?”

Started crying the first time y’all heard the heartbeat, he just sat there looking glossy eyed at the ultrasound giving you kisses

When it came to the nursery he helped with the heavy lifting, painting and building of things but he let you decorate it to your liking

“Whatever color you choose will be perfect.”

“If you’re the one making it there is no way our child won't love it.”

Very involved with picking a name though

Okey come with me on this…  if they had a boy -  Jean Junior and they call him JJ 🥺

Sometimes the whole crew gets involved

“Eren, can you stop calling my unborn child ‘Horse-face Junior’!” “Yeah, you’re right! Good thing the kid has Y/n. If they’re lucky they’ll take after her.”

But honestly they are so excited

“I can’t believe one of us is going to be a parent.”

“Welp it was nice knowing you Jean-boy.” “He’s getting a kid not losing his life, Connie.”

Countless nights are spent talking about who they’ll be and what they’ll look like

You can even rope him into trying out old wives tales of guessing the gender

Doesn’t care what they come out as, as long as they are healthy

The night it was happening you reassured him that the contractions you were feeling were probably just more Braxton Hicks contractions and there is no need to worry before there is anything to worry about

But that didn’t stop him for being ready to strike at any moment

Tried to remain calm and collected for you, even though you were just chillin and taking each thing as it came

While timing them you noticed that they were in fact getting closer together and you may want to head to the hospital at some point in the night if it kept progressing

No matter how gently you inform him of this he snaps

Grabbing the hospital bag - that he made sure was packed months before and insisted on you checking you have everything again every few weeks - and throwing it in the car

Just grab him and throw him in a chair to relax for a beat as you get yourself ready to leave

On the way to the hospital he held your hand when you were contracting, trying to remember what he was taught in the birthing classes

At the hospital he would refuse to go to sleep, even when you and the nurse advised him to

“If you’re awake, I’m awake.”

Holding your hand and rubbing your back through contractions - babe really hates seeing you in pain

Constant stream line of praises and encouragement

“Just breathe, Sweetheart. Just like we learned.”

“I’m here, squeeze my hand if you have to.”

“This one should be over soon, hang in there.”

When it’s finally showtime he is ready

Mentally he is still a bit frazzled but his babies need him!

“You’re doing so good, Baby! Keep going!”

He watched that kid come out and he the minute he heard their cries he started tearing up as well

Once cleaned up the the nurse handed you your Baby Girl and Jean about died when he saw her

“You did so beautifully, Y/N. She’s perfect!”

TBH even though he was happy to welcome either a boy or girl he’d be lying if he said he wanted a boy cause it terrified him to have a little girl

Protective Daddy Mode Activated!

A few hours later while you’re resting in bed Jean would pick up his baby girl for the first time by himself

He could sit for hours just looking at her, taking in every little feature

“My life is yours. I will be sure to protect you from anything that comes your way!”

“I promise to be the best Papa in the world.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok I will stopped there before I keep going. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it

If you want more let me know :3

💛 ~

[kaimelia]

an unexpected surprise

a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA @amelinkendgame I LOVE YOU SO MUCH <333 AND I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY AND ENJOY THIS FIC!!! even if it's. a bit random and not very coherent. <3

"Hi!" Amelia grinned, running up to her boyfriend as he opened the door. "How was your day?" He frowned as he looked at her.

"What's going on?"

"Come on; I can't ask how your day was?" Link shook his head.

"You're being suspicious. Where's Scout?"

"Asleep. He's been down for a few hours, which probably means he'll keep us up all night, but he was being super fussy when he was awake, so I just put him in his crib, and he passed out, and I know we're trying to get him on a schedule, but-"

"Amelia," Link raised his eyebrows. "Why are you being weird?"

"I did a thing."

"You did a thing?" She nodded and stepped back.

"One of my patients, she just had surgery today, but I was talking with her Mom after the surgery, and their cat had kittens, and they couldn't keep all of them-"

"Did you get a cat?"

"Not a cat, a kitten," Amelia muttered, running over to the couch and picking up a sleeping kitten, and walking back over to Link. "She doesn't have a name, but isn't she just the cutest thing ever?"

"Did you really adopt a cat without telling me? What if Scout's allergic, or what if he's scared of cats? I don't even know if my landlord lets pets in here!"

"Scout was playing with her earlier, so I think we're in the clear, and I actually texted your landlord, and he said it was fine," Amelia grinned, lifting the kitten up and kissing her head. "Do you wanna hold him?"

"I'm a dog person. I don't like cats."

"Why don't you like cats?"

"Because they don't do anything," Link muttered, taking off his coat and hanging it on the rack after kicking off his shoes. "They just stare at you and attack you when you're sleeping."

"She would never," Amelia cooed in a high-pitched voice, holding the kitten against her chest. Link rolled his eyes and walked past her, sitting down on the couch and turning on the TV. "Are you mad?"

"I mean, I wish you had said something first," he sighed, flipping through channels until a baseball game filled the screen. "This is a cat; it's something you probably should have mentioned before; we live together, and I'm going to have to take care of it sometimes." Amelia pouted and took a seat on the coffee table across from him.

"But she's adorable," Amelia whispered, kissing the kitten's head again. "You'll love her, I promise." He simply shrugged, and Amelia moved to sit on the loveseat, stretching out her legs and petting the kitten. She jolted up as Scout began to cry. "That's his hungry cry," she muttered, setting the kitten down on the chair. "I got him."

Link raised his eyebrows as she ran out of the room, and the kitten looked over at him and made eye contact with him.

"What?" He asked, watching as the kitten stood up and took a step towards him. "She's coming back soon, you know." His eyes widened as the kitten began to walk over to him, making the jump from the arm of the loveseat onto the couch and rubbing her head against his. "Amelia," he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt the kitten's tongue against his skin.

"Yes?" Amelia came out of the room a few minutes later, her face immediately softening at the sight in front of her; the kitten sprawled across Link's chest, and his eyes wide with some sort of fear. "Aww, she loves you!" She whispered, tiptoeing over and gently petting the cat.

"Can you take her off?"

"That's not how it works. She chose you, and now you can't move," Amelia grinned, taking a seat by Link's feet. "Isn't she wonderful?"

"She's shaking," he muttered.

"It's called purring. Have you never had a cat before?" He shook his head slowly. "How can you say you hate cats when you've never had one?"

"I just don't like cats."

"Well, cats like you," Amelia smiled, leaning back against the couch. "Do you really think this is the worst thing in the world?"

"Maybe just talk to me next time you bring an animal into our house," he murmured, hesitantly placing his hand on the kitten's back.

"You're such a Dad," she teased.

"Why?"

"It's a thing. Dads never want pets, and then when you get one, they love the pet, and they'll never admit it, but I can tell that you love this cat already."

"I don't know if I'd say love, per se, but she is pretty cute."

"I knew you'd love her."

"Or, I'm just tolerating her because I love you."

"Fair. But, there's still love there, and considering you're not throwing her onto the ground, I'd say this is progress!" He rolled his eyes, and Amelia nudged his foot as she stood. "I can take her now."

"No, I kinda like it. She's warm," Link whispered, turning his head back to the television, keeping his hand on the kitten's back. "She needs a name, though."

"We are historically not good at coming up with names," Amelia whispered from behind him. "How about I let you pick a name since I chose to get the cat?" Link took a moment, brushing over her fur, and smiled.

"I'm gonna have to get to know her first," he muttered, running his thumb against the kitten's head. "So, I guess she has to stay."

"Good, because I'm already too attached that if she was leaving, I might've left too," Amelia teased, leaning down and resting her chin on top of Link's head. "Thank you for not hating me."

"I couldn't ever hate you, even if you bring random cats home. But, let's not do it again, hm?"

"Understood."

[cadykeus-clay]

i would low key love to hear your tangent about the differences there are between how VM and TM9 react with the world

ah, the perfect excuse for me to put off my 30 page reading, thank you :3

(i’m also going to preface this by saying most of this is stuff i’ve picked from other people’s various metas and i absolutely do not remember who those authors might be so i apologize jsdlkfsd)

....

but uh ... basically i feel like vox machina and the nein have a completely opposite standard for how they interact with the people the consider to be their “inner circle” vs. everyone who doesn’t qualify as that. 

vm is a group of individuals who, overall, had one cruel person that slighted them but didn’t really destroy their faith in humanity. (their faith in themselves is a whole different horse. that ones .... woof. looking at you percy scanlan tary keyleth.) Percy had the briarwoods, Grog had Kevdak, the twins and tary had their father. so, the way that they interact with just random people that they meet is - with exceptions of course - amicable, or at the very least, respectably polite. 

they’re the saviours of emon, the freers of whitestone. they have festivals held in their honor. they have kid fans and random farmers knocking on their doorstep for aid because they’ve heard tales of the kindness. sure, vex can be a hassle when she’s haggling down a price, and keyleth tends to poke buttons in way that gets her arrested a fair amount of the time, but at the end of the day they’re the people’s heroes, and they’re happy to be that!

their inner circle, however, is much more closely guarded. they have a few chosen allies (gilmore, allura, kima, kash and zahra, cassandra) and that’s it. They’re hesitant with anyone else trying to creep into their personal fold. Hell, it took beating up tary and him breaking down sobbing for them to even consider liking him. they’ve been burned by raishan and clarota and hotis, by individuals they let in and who then stabbed them in the back. they’ll do almost any favor for a stranger who asks, but they’ll be damned if they trust anyone to actually join their midst. vox machina is vox machina is vox machina and that’s incredibly hard to change. 

the nein, on the other hand, are fundamentally a group of rejects. some of them have specific people they can point a finger at and say “i hate you”, but those problems stem from a greater societal rejection. beau has daddy issues, but she also felt rejected by the entire cobalt soul until dairon found her. caleb has trent’s fucked up shit, but he also has this constant pressure of having failed his entire country, not to mention the faceless hate piled up on him from living homeless for a year. jester’s whole deal is that she had to hide from LITERALLY ALL OF SOCIETY for her entire childhood because she wasn’t supposed to exist.

and so, the nein are shitheads to society right back. they’re mean to random barkeeps, they trash their inns and don’t say sorry, they mock most NPCs behind their back (or sometimes right to their face. @ marius).  Every favor asked of them comes with a ton of deliberation and arguing about whether its bait or not (ie bowlgate, the giants in the mine outside rosohna, essiks “favors”). 

but, on the flip side, they’re willing to tug just about anyone into their ranks. if society already hates them by default, what’s there to lose if they get close to someone? nothing, there’s only more love to be found! so it’s adopting random bird girls on the road, its sending cupcakes to a hag that cursed your friend, its sending messages to everyone you’ve ever met just to check in, it’s making someone sit in the hot tub with you and share trauma and then when you find out he started a war you say “we get it bro” and kiss him on the forehead. it’s “welcome to the mighty nein”. 

and it’s also very interesting, i think, to talk about the ways in which the party interacts with themselves. vox machina was a family, undoubtedly, as is the nein now. but vox machina ... had a lack of desperation to their attachment. i mean for one, they took a full year off from adventuring together and scattered cross continent. even if the nein gets down time like they did, i expect they’ll just trail each other around like lemmings. (its kind of what they’ve been doing from hiatus until now with the eiselcross arc starting). 

but vox machina just ... went. and scanlan walked away from the party and (after the heat of the moment), they agreed to just let him be. and pike would spend weeks on quests for sarenrae without much of a complaint. even at the end - and this will be a controversial take, i know - but they let vax go pretty easily. (sure, mechanically they were wiped from fighting, but besides tears the only attempt to defy trq was from percy, which even he gave up on with minimal struggle because vax said to stop it). that’s not to say they don’t miss each other when they’re gone! of course they do!!! but they trust each other to go off into the world, because the world as whole is a place they trust. 

(the one exception to this might be vex, who fought every one of these situations adamantly, but that’s a whole separate essay about her issues stemming from an innate sense of ‘failed family’ that she’s desperate to not repeat, and less about a mistrust of everyone until proven otherwise)

the nein on the other hand. hoo boy. they’ve been hot glued to each other’s hips since day one. So many quotes (many from beau, which could be worked into my previous vex essay, as they’re very much cross-campaign foils. getting sidetracked again) are about their inability to separate. “You don’t get to choose who cares about you”; “No one goes”; “If one of us is gone for more than 7 days assume we’re dead and have a funeral”; “Do we have co-dependecy issues?” Jester’s cool personal vacation to her god’s get together turned into a party with everyone because why would she go anywhere without the nein? Veth’s time with Luc and/or Yeza is constantly overrun with the rest of the nein dropping in for fun. Even small things like shopping trips are so much more “oh well if you’re going then i’ll go” snowballs than they ever were with vm. 

Also, ashley’s absences had to be much more forceful than in c1. Post episode 11, the only time yasha left the group (rather than someone else piloting her) of her own free will was when she ran in grief from molly’s grave. And yes, there’s something to be said about “oh they were on a boat for a long time she had nowhere to go” but if Matt can justify astral projection pike, i feel like he could justify ‘the stormlord teleports yasha away for a bit’ and he chose not to. 

Because!!!!!!!!! of the dynamic that the nein has!!!!!!!! Because of this idea that the world is bad and cold and full of hate and in here in our little hut (soon to be mansion??????) it’s safe and good and full of love and no one can leave because then you’d be going somewhere much more dangerous and we can’t have that, now can we? 

.....

well uh. that’s a lot of words. i hope they made some sense??? and were at all what you were expecting???? thank u for sending the ask tho this was very fun to write!!

tldr: vox machina is a group of people who were betrayed by one bad figure, so they trust the world and are wary of the individual; whereas the nein is a group of people who were failed by the world at large so they welcome the loner and fear the pack. 

[writeforfandoms]

Merry Go Round of Life 3

Find my masterlist

Part 3 people!! And guess what? We’re finally meeting some of our faves here! 

This will be Din Djarin x f!reader. Eventually. Give it time.

Warnings: I don’t even think there’s swearing in this chapter. 

Chapter three: In which there is a wizard

A soft weight settling on your lap woke you up. Well, partially woke you. You didn’t open your eyes as you murmured, “Not time yet ‘Mer.” It was definitely Omera. Cara would never be so gentle trying to rouse you.

A gentle coo made you blink, then your eyes flew open and you sat bolt upright, and then immediately slouched back into the chair with a groan of pain. Oh, ow. Your everything hurt. 

A giggle from your lap caught your attention again, and you carefully blinked down at your lap. A small child was settled happily in your lap, looking up at you with large brown eyes. He smiled and giggled again. Your heart melted, just a little.

“And who are you, little one?” you murmured. “Are you here by yourself?” You looked around, one hand carefully cupped against the kid’s back to hold him steady. But there was no other sign of life around.

“Finally awake again,” the fire grumbled, rousing from slumber and stretching up towards the ceiling. “Took you long enough!”

For a moment, just a moment, you stared at the fire. That had been real, not a weird dream. All of it was real. The curse. The witch. All of it. You were in the moving castle. 

“Don’t mind the kid,” the fire told you. “He’s Djarin’s ward. I think. Or adopted son. I don’t really keep track.”

“Djarin?” You stumbled a little over the unfamiliar word.

“The wizard?” The fire prompted you, sounding a little derogatory. “You don’t even know the wizard’s name?”

You shrugged, carefully, and rearranged the kid to be more comfortable in your lap. “Nobody in Kalevala knows his name,” you pointed out, perhaps a touch defensive. “We all just called him the Wizard of the Moving Castle, or something like that.”

“Ha!” The fire snorted, sending sparks all over the place. You yelped and swatted at a stray one near your skirt. “How pretentious! I can’t decide if he’d love it or hate it.” 

“What should I call the little one?” You smiled down at the child, who beamed right back at you.

“Dunno. Mostly Djarin just calls him kid.”

The kid looked around at that. You had the feeling that he understood a lot more of what was going on than he let on. Then he grabbed a handful of your skirt and started playing with it, apparently content to stay where he was. 

“Hey, we still on?” Peli demanded suddenly. “Our deal. You’re still going to work on it, right?”

You stood, carefully holding the kid to you so he wouldn’t be harmed. The little darling immediately cuddled into you with a little huff. “I don’t know how much help I can be. I’m not a witch.”

“You don’t need to be.” Peli smiled, and it showed far too many pointy teeth for a fire. Far too many pointy teeth in general, actually, now that you thought about it. “You’ll figure it out, you seem smart.”

Something about Peli’s words had little alarm bells going off in your mind. “What do you mean, figure it out?”

“Well, I can’t just tell you,” Peli hissed. “That’s against the rules. Even I can’t break the rules. Nobody can. But! There will be hints. All you need to do is stick around for a little while, and once you figure it out, I’ll lift the curse on you!”

You considered for a few moments. Really, that didn’t sound awful. You’d have to think of a convincing reason to stay in the castle. But either Peli would help you, or wizard Djarin would. You still couldn’t exactly go back to your shop, not with the way you looked. So while this hadn’t been part of your plan, it wasn’t bad. There were no major downsides that you could see.

“Alright,” you agreed. “It’s a deal.”

Peli grinned at that. “You’ll need to give Djarin a reason for staying.”

You nodded your agreement and started to carefully walk around, looking around the room for inspiration. The room wasn’t messy, really, but it was a bit cluttered. And a bit dusty. 

“I could be his housekeeper?” you suggested.

“Not a chance,” Peli said with a snort. “He’d throw you out in an instant. Stubborn man.”

You frowned at the fire briefly before you continued your exploration. There was a little kitchenette attached to the main space, and before long you had a kettle and tea. “I could cook?”

“Nah, he does some of that himself.” Peli eyed you as you poured water into the kettle. “What are you doing?” 

“Making tea.” You tone said that this really should be obvious. 

“Oh no you don’t!” Peli immediately protested. “No! I refuse! That is blatant abuse!”

“I don’t see any other fireplaces,” you pointed out. “And I want a cup of tea. Actually, the little one could do with some breakfast, too.” You turned appraising eyes to the kid, who was still propped happily against your shoulder. He blinked at you and burbled, one little hand reaching over to pat your cheek gently. Your heart melted a little more. 

“No,” Peli repeated, eyes wide. “No!”

“This won’t hurt you,” you told her, well used to tantrums from both your sisters and your niece. “Just bend down your head a little.”

Peli made an odd hissing, crackling noise as you plonked the kettle down over the fire to heat. Satisfied, you hobbled off to grab the frying pan and eggs. Everyone liked eggs. (Hopefully the kid liked eggs.) 

“That’s right,” you muttered as you plonked the fry pan down too. “Good fire.”

“Here’s another curse for you,” Peli muttered bitterly, blue eyes staring at you. “May all your cooking burn.”

You hummed quietly as you worked, and the kid behaved remarkably well. Cooking one-handed was a little slower, but the kid didn’t want to be put down, with one hand fisted in your dress and the other half-shoved in his own mouth. Every time you looked at him, those big brown eyes were looking right back at you. Really, it should be illegal for children to be this cute. 

The door creaked open behind you as you were cracking eggs into the fry pan. You stiffened but didn’t turn to look, instead focusing on the eggs. You stirred the eggs carefully, waiting for something to happen. The kid babbled something incoherent and turned to look at the new person, but didn’t let go of you.

“Peli.” The voice was low and rough, and definitely male. 

“You’re back!” Peli wiggled under the fry pan. “Make her stop, she’s awful!”

A presence stopped next to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw dark fabric and metal armor. Again with the armor. Maybe it was a witch and wizard thing? Hadn’t the witch been wearing armor when she cursed you? Curious. The person was male, and taller than you (easier than ever, since you seem to have shrunk a few inches in your new old age). He was also eerily, disconcertingly quiet. 

“What is going on?” he finally asked, voice a little raspy. 

“She’s abusing me!” Peli immediately burst out. The kid in your arms cooed and laid fully against your shoulder, grabbing a handful of hair in his grabby little hand. You huffed and carefully shuffled egg onto a plate for the kid. 

“Eggs?” you offered the wizard blithely. “Figured the little one could use some breakfast.”

The wizard didn’t respond, but the helmet slowly moved to look at Peli instead. “Who let her in?” he demanded.

“Nobody, she just wandered in on her own,” Peli answered. “Somewhere between Kalevala and Tattooine.” 

“Just wandered in,” he repeated slowly. The helmet shifted focus to you.

You shrugged, careful not to disturb the child, and managed to balance two plates over to the table. Wizard Djarin followed you. 

“I was looking for a new job,” you told him, on the fly. That was not true, but somehow you’d stumbled into a job all the same. “You really shouldn’t leave such a young one home alone, you know. They’ll get into all sorts of mischief. My niece is only a little older than this one, and she was a fright! Used to try to put herself in one of the ovens if my sister didn’t have an eye on her.” You chuckled. That was absolutely true - Winta, Omera’s daughter, had been a right terror as a toddler, and had run the entire bakery staff into the ground. 

The wizard looked at you, his helmet tipped slightly to one side, apparently deep in thought. Letting him look his fill, you set the child down at the table with a clean spoon you found. Fortunately, he was able to feed himself, though he seemingly narrated the entire process to you. You hummed when it seemed appropriate and nodded along with him. Honestly, small children were sometimes good like this, entertaining themselves and you. Win-win. 

“You’re good with him.”

You jumped. You hadn’t expected the wizard to speak, and you blinked up at him. “He’s a sweet little one,” you answered carefully. 

The wizard nodded once. When the kettle whistled, he waved you to stay where you were and retrieved the kettle himself, pouring the hot water into the teapot. You blinked, surprised, but didn’t object. As soon as all the cooking objects were away from the fire, Peli sprung back up towards the ceiling, seemingly stretching out and complaining, though nobody paid much attention to the words. (Well, you certainly didn’t, and it didn’t seem that Djarin was paying attention either.) 

The rest of breakfast passed quietly. The kid ate and then slid off his chair to go wrap himself around the wizard, who picked him up easily and carried him off. You cleaned up after breakfast and then did a bit of tidying (and conveniently poked your nose into various cubbies and drawers, just in case there were any convenient hints laying about). 

It wasn’t longer than an hour before the wizard returned and handed the kid to you again. You took the kid, blinking up at the wizard.

“I won’t be long,” he said, helmet focused on the two of you. “Stay with the kid.”

You nodded, momentarily perplexed, and watched as Djarin walked to the door. He turned a knob next to the door, one you hadn’t noticed before, and opened the door. Instead of seeing the expected hills of the countryside around Kalevala, or even the sandy wastes of Tattooine, you saw… a town? It was a different style of architecture than Kalevala, and you thought you heard birds, but different birds than you’d ever heard in your life.

But the view you had was brief, as Djarin stepped out through the door and shut it firmly behind him.

[theunquenchablethirst]

Home Pt4: No Windows (Jeremiah X Reader)

Again, this chapter and chapter 3 have been up on WattPad and A03 for a while, but because I’m awkward I’m only just now releasing it into the wild of Tumblr. Enjoy.

Tag list of lovelies: @valeskaduh @gabile18 @persephoneblck @fangirl--writes

Masterlist

We drove for what seemed like hours before we left the city. I was right. We were driving through woods now. The ride was getting bumpier as we drove over rocks and fallen branches. I wondered how deep we were going. The car stopped, but I couldn't see anything. There wasn't a cabin in view or anything. Oh my god. Maybe he was Jerome Valeska. Was he going to kill me and leave me here?

Mr Wilde got out and Ecco opened my door. I realised it would be pointless to try and stay in the car. There was two of them and one of me. If this was then end, there wasn't any stopping it. They led me a bit further on and I was growing more scared by the second. But then, I saw it. A white building. It looked like it was made out of concrete. It was just an ugly block.

Getting closer I saw just how many security cameras there were. This guy was paranoid. Then I realised how small it was. There was no way me and Mr Wilde could live together in such a cramped space. I couldn't see there being enough room for a kitchen, living room and bathroom, let alone two separate bedrooms. Mr Wilde opened the metal door and I shivered. He walked inside, but I was rooted to the spot.

"This way." Ecco said, prompting me to move. I reluctantly did so.

Inside was lit up brightly with florescent lights. The walls were concrete and just as ugly as the outside. Ecco closed the door and walked in front of me.

"Keep up." She said as she went ahead.

The hallways were long and the corners seemed random. It was confusing as hell and I wasn't going to remember the route. What was this? A labyrinth? We walked past multiple metal doors and I wondered what was behind them. And why they were made out of metal. We eventually came to a door that was open. Mr Wilde was standing, waiting.

"Thank you, Ecco." Mr Wilde said as he took off his coat and gloves and handed them to Ecco. She disappeared out of the room.

The door closed behind and I was stood alone in the room with him. The room was nicely furnished. A leather sofa and two matching arm chairs. A coffee table, a desk, a bookshelf filled with books, even a fireplace. It didn't match the rest of his home at all. The only downside was the lack of windows.

"Please, sit." He sat on the sofa wanting. I sat down next to him, but still kept my distance.

He pulled an envelope out of his jacket and handed it to me.

"You'll need this."

I opened it and took out what seemed to be maps.

"What are these for?"

"I designed my home as a labyrinth. Only me and Ecco can navigate it without the aid of a map. As you're going to be living here, they'll be very useful to you. Until you've memorised it."

I studied the maps quietly and Ecco returned with a tray of tea. The tea set was decorated in lovely pink and blue flowers and had gold trim. It was obviously expensive.

"Thank you, Ecco." Mr Wilde said as she left and he began to pour two cups.

I gathered all the courage I could muster. The question I wanted to ask; I wasn't sure he was going to want to answer. But I had to know.

"Mr Wilde... Why am I here?"

He inhaled through his nose. I could tell he didn't like the question. He stirred tome sugar into his cup and raised it to his face.

"Ecco is my assistant. She's devoted her life to me and I would trust her with mine."

He sipped his tea.

"You'll be training under her."

"Why adopt if you want another assistant? Why not just hire someone?"

"This isn't a job."

I swallowed, the lump in my throat returned.

"Then what is it?"

Mr Wilde put his tea down on the table and stood up.

"Come with me."

He led me further into his labyrinth.

"Where are all the windows?" I asked. I still hadn't seen a single one.

"There aren't any. This entire place is underground."

Underground?

"Why?"

"Security reasons."

Really? What was he hiding from?

"So, what are you? An architect?"

"I'm an engineer. Structural and electrical."

"I thought engineers worked on... well, engines."

"Sometimes." He smirked.

He stopped and opened another metal door. It was a bedroom.

"This is where you'll be staying."

I looked around. It was definitely nicer than the orphanage. It had lovely soft carpet, a double bed, a desk, a vanity. Everything I'd never had before.

"It's not much at the moment, but I thought I'd let you decorate it."

Even my very own wardrobe and chest of drawers. No more shared under the bed storage.

"If you go through that door, there's an en suite bathroom. I thought that would be more convenient if you need to use it at night."

For real? He gave me an en suite for convenience? I'd never even seen an en suite before.

"Thank you." I said, slightly teary eye.

He smiled at me.

"You didn't expect me to make you sleep on the couch, did you?"

I smiled back at him.

"I'll let you get settled." He turned to leave, but something stopped him.

"By the way, my name is Jeremiah." He closed the door and left me alone to take in my new surroundings.

"Wow." I sighed through a smile.

I brushed my hand over the bed. It felt so soft. I let myself sit down on it. A soon as I put my weight down, I sank like the bed was trying to swallow me.

"That's spongey." I laughed and lay back. It was so comfortable. Like lying on a giant marshmallow.

I was so enraptured by it that I completely forgot that I still didn't fully understand why the hell I was here. Who was Jeremiah Wilde?

[gotnofucks]

Parts of Whole

(No images are mine, but I did edit them. If anyone knows the owners, do let me know so I can credit them)

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes, Sam x Steve (platonic)

Summary: Steve would see his OTP’s ship sail, even from across the grave.

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: mentions of death (nothing graphic and not very sad), language, angst + fluff

A/N: I saw the trailer for tfatws and I just had to write this. This is also my entry for the amazingly talented @sagechanoafterdark and @sweater-daddiesdumbdork challenge (pic prompts above). Thank you for hosting this and being wonderful. The beautiful dividers are made by @firefly-graphics . Huge thanks to @the-inquisitive-hobbit for beta reading and giving me her very valuable insight.

 It never felt right in his hands. It was his to wield, his to claim, and yet it never felt more foreign. The concentric red and white circles with the star embedded in the blue center glared back at him from the mirror. It had been months, but Sam had never taken this shield with him to any mission. He couldn’t.

It felt starkly cold in his hands, lifeless and materialistic. It was Steve’s symbol of strength and hope. It used to hang on his back, warmed by his body heat. Now, it seemed like the shield only existed to remind him of Steve’s absence. This shield was made for Steve. It belonged to him, it always would. How could he ever stand where he stood? How could Sam ever be the captain that Steve was, take this shield that held more power than a crown on a head?

He put it down again, covering it with a cloth before shutting the door on it, leaning heavily against it. He missed him, he missed him like a throbbing wound that refused to heal. If only he could see the sun shining on those golden locks again, have those baby blue eyes smile at him again. What wouldn’t he give for that.

He didn’t notice he wasn’t alone until a heavy hand was on his shoulder, squeezing gently. Sam didn’t open his eyes, just let the weight of it anchor him, let it bring him back from the chaos that was his mind. The cold metal hand felt like a relief against the overwhelming burden of grief that penetrated his being whenever he touched the circular shield.

“I miss him too.” Bucky said, and Sam opened his eyes. Bucky’s eyes were blue too, slightly grey where Steve’s were green. He could see himself reflected in them and he straightened, looking away, hiding his weakness.

This mantle of Steve Rogers that he was supposed to assume, this legacy he was supposed to take forward felt like cheating. His friend, his mentor, his brother was no more. How could people just expect him to move on? But they did. It didn’t matter he was emotionally compromised, it didn’t matter he wanted to drown, like Steve nearly had at the Potomac all those years ago. The world didn’t wait to create one disaster after another. They needed Captain America then, and they needed him now. Like Fury said, trouble always sticks around.

Sam cleared his throat, making sure he was collected before looking at Bucky again.

“Everything loaded in the Quinjet?” He asked and Bucky nodded. They’ll be leaving for another mission soon, and Sam was glad he’ll have the sounds of battle to drown the war in his heart.

“Sam.” Bucky said once Sam started leaving. “Take it.”

Sam looked at Bucky over his shoulder, his gaze equal parts pain and accusation. Of everyone, Bucky shouldn’t be the one telling him this.

“I’ll meet you in the jet.” He said firmly and quickly marched to his room, shutting the door behind him. He hated coming back to the compound, the lingering memories of their fallen warriors whispering in his ears every time he was here. He preferred his little house in the woods where it was only Bucky and nature with him.

He took out his tactical gear, laying it on the bed and getting out his wings when he heard it.

“You are punishing yourself Sam.” Came his voice.

It was this moment where Sam broke, sliding down the wall and letting a few tears escape. He was gone but he never left him.

“How could you have been so selfish Steve. Why?” He asked, looking up to glare at Steve. Even dead he looked so handsome, so put together with his hands on his hips. He didn’t look like the old man they had buried a month after the battle. No. He was their Steve, their young, beautiful Steve who left them behind.

Sam didn’t know why he saw him. He didn’t know if this was a ghost or a creation of his mind. To him, it was Steve. It was Steve and it was a beautiful suffering to see him again every time he reappeared.

“I am sorry.” Steve said and knelt before Sam, looking apologetic. Sam didn’t try touching him. Not when the first hundred times his hand just went through him.

“You are? What for?” Sam asked. “For leaving behind your shield and title, for leaving me behind, or for abandoning a best friend you promised to walk till the end of the line with? What are you really sorry for Captain?”

Steve didn’t answer, he never did. He let Sam take out his hurt and anger, and Sam cried. In the privacy of his walls, he cried. He was so tired of pretending to be strong, to be happy. He hid behind his jokes and smiles, fooled the world which was so ready to move on while Sam was buried somewhere with Steve in the cemetery, half dead, half alive.

“I am sorry Sam, for everything.” Steve insisted. “But you need to stop punishing yourself for mistakes you never made. You can’t live this way.”

Sam snorted a laugh for even in death Steve was a humanitarian bastard. He didn’t come back to haunt his enemies; oh no the centenarian came back to help his friends. Why didn’t people see that he could never be Steve? That Sam Wilson can never, won’t ever be the Captain that Steven Rogers was.

“I hate you so much Steve, I really do.” Sam whispered, wiping his nose and getting up. Steve watched him getting changed, no barriers of shame between them from that side of the grave.

“You always said that. I have never heard a ‘I love you’ more pronounced than I do in your hate.” Steve commented with a soft smile, it widened when Sam gave him a half-hearted glare. It was amazing how they could go from having a painful conversation to joking, but that was how it worked with Steve. He knew Sam, he knew everything that made him laugh and made him smile.

“What are you doing here anyway? Don’t you have a tea party with Gandhi or some other do-gooder like you in the afterlife?” Sam grumbled, tightening the belt in his suit and attaching his wings to it. Steve chuckled, sitting on the chair and watching Sam with a relaxed smile.

“They are too uptight for me. Mother Teresa tried to adopt me the other day” Steve said, and Sam laughed. His wings were the colours of American Flag, a new change. He grabbed his weapons and fixed Steve with a look, hating and loving him for being so him.

“I’ll see you after the mission?” He asked tentatively. He would never admit it, but he feared one day Steve would disappear again. It was crazy, it was not normal to see dead people, but Sam would rather have a shadow of Steve than just a memory.

“I’ll be here as long as you need me Sam. Always.” Steve said, a sad smile on his face when he saw Sam leaving without the shield.

Sharon greeted him in the jet, talking to Bucky and the other agents over the blueprint spread before them. Sam nodded his hello, snatching the half empty pack of Cheetos from Bucky’s hand and munching on it.

“So now you want to steal the show and my food. You’re such a dick Wilson.” Bucky said, poking Sam in his shoulder and Sam poked his tongue out at him, a gap-toothed smile on his face. Their previous somber interaction would not be mentioned, filed again like so many inside the neglected corner of their minds.

“Bitch, I paid for grocery this month. This is technically mine.” Sam replied, making Bucky scowl. Sam knew there was a 70-30 chance he’ll find his bed crawling with centipedes when they got back home.

“Charming, boys.” Sharon remarked rolling her eye. “What are you guys doing for Christmas? Must be nice to have a holiday.”

Bucky shrugged, sharing a look with Sam. It was their first Christmas without Steve, a 6 feet 2-inch void always between them.

“Nothing special. Stay home, watch movies, eat a lot.” Bucky said. A lot remained unsaid, but they rarely needed words to communicate anymore. Sam bumped his shoulder in his, offering him some Cheetos to munch while he silently grieved.

“Well, I’ll leave my address here for you to deliver your presents to me.” Sharon joked and Sam laughed softly, mentally making a note to get her something.

“Alright then, and I’ll just casually remark that my phone and laptop are both in serious need for an upgrade. Just saying.” Sam said. “Hey Buck, what are you going to gift me?”

Bucky crumpled the empty chips packet before sending Sam an amused glare, flipping him off.

“A ball gag, so that I can hear something other than your stupid voice.” He snarked.

“Damn dude, at least ask me out for dinner before getting kinky.” Sam winked and Bucky swelled with indignation, pointing an accusing metal finger at Sam.

“I cook dinner 3 times a week you bastard, and I don’t even burn it!” He protested making Sam laugh louder than ever. He loved making Bucky mad, teasing him into an incensed rage that usually ended in a pillow fight or sometimes with Sam’s head in a headlock.

They straightened as they saw the incredulous looks on the new agents’ faces, baby agents as Bucky liked to call them. It was times like these, when both the battle-hardened veterans missed their lost teammates, the inside jokes that were shot around with as much precision as bullets and arrows on the battlefield.

They got to work again, discussing the mission and its details with the other agents. Sam would run point on scaling the territory and fly down to the enemy base with two agents while Bucky would guide him from up here and take out potential threats. They just needed to secure a technological innovation and it didn’t seem too like much work. As Sam poured over the briefing, his eyes subconsciously went over to Bucky who was fiddling with the equipment, making sure everything was in working condition.

If someone had told him a few years ago that Bucky would become his anchor, his solace in his darkest hours, Sam would have punched them in the face. But as it happened, they came to lean on each other, the only unchanged part of their older lives, the only person who made each feel that were still real, still alive. They were still annoyed by each other, but the arguments were more of a routine than an actual expression of resentment.

He didn’t realize he was staring until someone deliberately coughed behind him.

“He is so pretty, isn’t he?” Steve asked, though it was a rhetorical question. Bucky Barnes was a beauty, from his blue grey eyes to the new golden streaks running through his new arm. Sam tried not to notice the way Bucky’s armor clung to his muscles, his face looking almost boyish as he forgot the world and focused on his task.

“I thought you said I’ll see you after the mission.” Sam muttered, taking care that no one noticed him talking to air. He hurriedly looked away from Bucky when their eyes met, a heat rising in his cheeks that made Steve chuckle.

“I said I’ll be there when you need me. And it seems like you do.” Steve commented. He took the seat next to Sam, so near that Sam swore he could feel the heat emanating from his body.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Sam snapped, the smug look on Steve’s face making him wish he could touch him if only to be able to punch him. Stupid blonde best friends with perfect teeth and beautiful smiles and an ass that looked just as round after being dead.

“Oh, I think you do.” Steve said, shifting his gaze to Bucky. “I liked his hair longer but the shorter is going well with the new arm. Don’t you think?”

Despite himself Sam found himself nodding, admiring Bucky as he’d done a thousand times before. He liked his longer hair too, but without them falling in his face, he could see him better. And the arm. The new arm that gave Sam tingles in the most delicious ways, it had him flustered for three whole weeks after Bucky first showed up with it on him.

He didn’t know when it started, but Bucky had somehow become the most beautiful person to Sam. From the way he would make him the perfect mug of coffee to their little kitchen garden they started to keep themselves busy, he loved everything about him. Those moments where he would sense the turmoil inside Sam and silently slip his hands in Sam’s to assure him that he was there, these little moments endeared him even more.

Sam had lost count of how many times Bucky and he had woken up on the couch, sharing a blanket, both silently afraid to sleep alone. He had forgotten how many times he had spent kneeling at Bucky’s bedside, coaxing him out from a nightmare. Every moment spent in each other’s company, laughing, joking, mourning together, it brought them together in a way Sam had never imagined before.

“Tell him” Steve said, a wistful look on his face as he looked at his best friend. “He feels the same. I know.”

Sam shook his head, tearing his eyes away from Bucky with reluctance. He’d already lost so much, he wouldn’t lose Bucky too. Not because he has a minor, very minor teensy tiny crush on him.

“Man, shut the hell up.” He snapped.

“Who’re you talking to?” Bucky called out from across the jet and Sam’s head snapped up, mouth parting a little before he mumbled out a ‘no one’ and focused on the papers in his hand. Sometimes he felt guilty for keeping Steve a secret, for keeping Bucky away from his best friend. He knew Bucky cried into his pillow at nights, he knew because he’d held him then, tried his best to fill the cracks that appeared in the walls of Bucky’s heart as well as his own.

But then, Steve chose to come to him. Chose to talk to Sam. And he was afraid that telling anyone would disturb this magic, whatever this was. That he would once again have to bury Steve. So, he kept quiet. He buried this secret in the deep recesses of his mind, the initial worry of insanity long forgotten in favor of seeing his friend again.

“Do you even have a plan?” Bucky questioned, watching him prepare for the jump. Sam had a job for every agent accompanying him, but the idiot had not outlined anything for himself.

“I do.” Sam said, and when Bucky looked unconvinced, he lightly punched his shoulder. “You’re my plan, my backup. I scream, jump down and get my ass back up.”

Saying this, Sam jumped, the exasperated look on Bucky’s face imprinted behind his eyelids as his wings flared out and he floated.

Everything that could have gone wrong on this mission did, and Bucky was hysterical even before Sam’s call for backup came. He was going to kick Nick Fury’s ass, but before that he was going to bring his friend back in one-piece and chew him out for giving him a heart attack.

Sam’s wings took most of the weight of the fall, so he came back with a sprained ankle and bruises. Bucky was getting increasingly irritated when they came back home, their little secluded spot in the woods welcoming them with the smell of pine and wild grass.

“It’s not my fault Fury gave us shitty intel.” Sam groaned, “You can stop being salty now.”

Bucky remained quiet, the silent treatment going for almost the third day in row and Sam was at his wits end. It was stupid and ridiculous because Bucky almost always pulled the stupidest moves in the field, like stopping a bomb with his hand or listening to the villain’s evil monologue.

Steve was grinning as he leaned against the edge of the table, and with every suggestive wink he gave Sam, the new Captain America resisted the urge to throw a vase at him.

“He cares so much that he’s speechless.” Steve commented and Sam flipped him off. Dickhead has been giving running commentary of the thick tension in the air since they came back, and Sam was on the verge of calling for an exorcism.

“Why do you do that?” Bucky asked suddenly and Sam was so glad to hear him talk again it took him a while to understand the question.

“What?”

“This thing, looking somewhere and talking to yourself, or – I don’t know, you keep being weird.”

“You’re the one with the cyborg brain and arm and I’m weird” Sam tried deflecting. Bucky frowned, coming closer to sit near Sam, leaving abandoned Christmas decorations scattered around them. Clint had delivered it for them but neither had the heart to put them up.

“Sam.” Bucky deadpanned, and Sam sighed, resting his head back and avoiding eye contact. He looked at Steve who was still smiling, his beautiful face like a slap on the face and caress on the head at the same time.

It was more difficult than one would assume to explain. Why did Sam see Steve, and why did only Sam see Steve? Was it a hallucination, or his spirit? Would Steve go away if Sam confided in Bucky? Would Bucky be mad he didn’t tell him? There were so many questions, so many doubts, and yet as Sam looked into Bucky’s eyes, shining like sapphires, he couldn’t keep it to himself.

“Its…Its Steve.” He said, looking down and playing with the soft lint on his blanket. He didn’t hear Bucky say anything but moments later a metal hand gripped his, stopping its nervous movements.

“Steve?”

Sam gulped, the coolness of Bucky’s hand in his warming his heart, swelling it with hope and an emotion Sam was too afraid to acknowledge.

“Steve, he – he talks to me.” Sam confessed and tentatively looked at Bucky whose eyes were brimming with emotion. He expected him to call him crazy, or to get mad, but what he did not expect was Bucky to shift closer and take Sam’s other hand in his too.

“He talks to me as well.” Bucky said. Sam was breathless, both by the slight smell of cinnamon that came from Bucky and the way Bucky came even closer, close enough that he could count the flecks in his eyes.

“He does?” Sam asked and Bucky nodded.

“I don’t know how he does it with you, but whenever I need him, miss him, I feel him speak to me from here.” With this Bucky placed one of Sam’s hand on his chest, the beating heart under thumping strongly. Unconsciously, Sam’s hand caressed Bucky’s chest, mapped its muscles and the jagged scars that bulged under his left shoulder.

“I see him.” Sam admitted, unable to look away from Bucky. “I can see him”

Tears blurred his vision until they dropped on his cheeks, sliding down, and forging a river down, leaving a trail of hurt, betrayal, and loss in their wake. Bucky’s hand came up to wipe them away, staying on Sam’s cheek, playing with the soft hair on his chin.

“I see him too. In you.” Bucky said and they didn’t know who moved first, but their foreheads were touching and then their lips met in a chaste, hesitant kiss. Sam melted into his touch, molding himself to fall into Bucky’s larger frame, his arms circling his waist and pulling him closer. They kissed as if they had walked a hundred miles just to kiss each other, as if they had saved every last breath just to live this moment.

“I – I, Buck –” Sam began but Bucky shushed him, pulling him into another soul-searching kiss before pulling away.

“I know.” He murmured.

As Sam relaxed in Bucky’s warm embrace, lost himself in the blues of Bucky’s eyes, he noticed Steve from the corner of his eyes. There was sadness on his face, the pain of a goodbye in the creases around his eyes. But when he smiled, he smiled with genuine love and happiness. The two parts of his soul he’d left behind seemed to have found themselves, and with them Steve felt himself complete.

“Till the end of the line pals.” He whispered.

Sam never saw Steve again.

Their Christmas was not very festive in terms of decoration. There was still too much pain, too much suffering in their hearts. Steve and Nat’s pictures beamed at them from the walls, and Sam sent Pepper the confirmation that they’ll come over for New Years.

It was a beautiful thing about human nature, about how one rises from the ashes to become stronger. Sam and Bucky lost someone, but they found each other. In the shared grieve of their hearts, they discovered the love long buried in there, eagerly waiting to be spread and shared.

They stayed warm under the blanket, wearing oversized sweaters that they wouldn’t be caught dead wearing outside. The sweaters may or may not have been Steve's; the soldiers mutually decided to hold Steve close in this way. Sam’s heart was tripled in size, as his head rested in the crook of Bucky’s neck, the smell of chocolate and cinnamon melting together to make a little world of their own. Sam wondered if he would mind growing out his hair again.

“So, what did you get me?” Sam asked, knowing he wouldn’t mind if Bucky did get him that ball gag. Part of him almost hoping for it.

“How rude Wilson, here I’ve given you all of myself and you still thirst for more.” Bucky mocked and Sam tackled him into a hug, peppering kisses all over his face.

“Bitch, you’re lucky I lo-” Sam cut himself off, suddenly shy. The smirk on Bucky’s face melted into a smile, a hungry look in his eyes.

“Say it” Bucky ordered. And Sam did. The Captain obeyed his Sergeant without hesitation.

“I love you. I love you so freaking much! I got us the cheesiest gifts.” Sam said in excitement. He pulled away long enough to grab his gift from under the bed, giving it to Bucky to open. He watched with his bottom lip between his teeth as Bucky opened the box to pull out two chains, each dangling with a rectangular pendant.

Dog tags.

Their dog tags. Bucky raised his eyes to Sam’s, fisting his hand in Sam’s t-shirt to pull him closer into a searing kiss, all tongue and teeth and moans, hips grinding as passion merged with love and emotion.

“I love you!” Bucky growled and kissed Sam again. “And I got you chocolates that look like dicks. I didn’t know this would happen between us when I bought them, and I was going to give you a hint with them.”

Sam’s laughter echoed around their small house, the dopey smile on his face remaining intact as they ate candy and burnt sparklers into the night. In the colourful light that played on their faces, they held hands together, filling the void that was there with the warmth of each other.

“We can use the shield as a sleigh until you’re comfortable using it as a weapon.” Bucky mused and Sam smiled into his neck, thinking of a certain blond asshole who may have gone away, but will never be lost.

Permanent Taglist: @what-is-your-wish @shooting-star-love @stanmysoul @sweeterthanthis @scentedsongrebel @muralskins @rayofdawnworld @donutloverxo @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @angrythingstarlight @rockyrogers @slothspaghettiwrites @nerdygirl8203 

CE & Steve : @littlegasps @bluemusickid @harrysthiccthighss @abeyyaaar @slytherinandoutasgard @empath-bunny 

SebStan & Bucky : @sebastiansthot @its-izzys @harrysthiccthighss @empath-bunny

For this fic : @barnesandco​

[clouds-rambles]

Clouds team headcanons

I would absolutely LOVE! to hear about the headcanons you have for your own teams in Genshin, as well as ones you have for mine that I may not have mentioned! 

Talking about your teams don’t count as requests so feel free to send me them even if my requests are closed! 

This is my team, and below the cut is their weird dynamics as a team <3

Adding the traveller as me because you know my team lolz <3

3rd person writing for me is gonna be a little weird but lets see how that works

Having a sensible figure in the team is non existent, Venti and Cloud pull many pranks on the others and usually gets the last laugh about the team. If anyone was to tell him off it’d be Sucrose. Sucrose isn’t good at telling people off so most of the time it’s just Sucrose sadly saying ‘please stop’

Cloud, Qiqi, Sucrose, and Xiangling are constantly in another world. Cloud often finds themselves easily distracted by treasures and pretty sceneries, on especially pretty ones they’ll call their friends over to look with them. Qiqi often gets distracted by herbs, and has taken quite a fancy to herbs not found in Liyue. Sucrose is constantly asking for bones that anybody else finds, and most evenings she’s scurried away in her house in the serenitea pot studying them. Xiangling loves finding food, be it running after a boar in the middle of a fight, or forcing the team to climb to the very top of mountains just for some Juyuen Chillis. 

Most evenings, before Sucrose hides herself away, the team like to eat dinner together and talk about their day. If they stay in late Venti most likely pulls out his lute and plays a tune for the team.

On days where the team is off alone in Liyue Venti often goes and pesters Xiao while the latter is on duty. Qiqi will go and visit Bubu Pharmacy and offload all the herbs she’s collected over the week. Cloud tends to lounge about the tea shops trying various herbal teas, that and they catch the odd story show. Xiangling helps her father out at the restaurant and Sucrose finds herself tagging along with Xiangling and doing work at the back of the resturant.

On days where the team is off alone in Mondstat Venti will spend most of his day playing music around his home for drinks. Cloud will often sit outside the Good Hunter or go to meet up with Lisa for some tea and a chatter. Qiqi will always somehow end up with Klee even if Qiqi barely remembers who Klee is. Sucrose will spend her day with Albedo and she’ll often give a small presentation of what she’s found in the week. Xiangling has made many friends in Mondstat, and almost all of them are about all the time, so she has many adventures with Razor, Bennett, and Fischl. 

Xiangling and Sucrose are the classic example of introvert/extrovert friendships. It kind of seems like they wouldn’t speak much but Xiangling often brings Sucrose out of her shell. Even if Sucrose has horrific social queues

Cloud and Venti have a way with each other where they constantly bounce off each others ideas, they’re both chaotic and loud. They have shared a few conversations in complete silence accompanied by facial expressions and hand gestures. Nothing good comes out of those conversations

Venti and Cloud are very protective of Qiqi and she often looks up to the two of them as older, chaotic, siblings. Cloud often makes jokes about adopting Qiqi as their own because of how much they love her

Qiqi has also adopted Sucrose and Xiangling as her older sisters. Xiangling is very much happy with this and loves playing about with Qiqi, but Sucrose has an awkward air around her when she’s holding Qiqi. But somehow it makes Qiqi all the more interested in Sucrose

The four are pretty much suited well when they climb up Dragonspine. Venti redirects most of the cold wind away from him. Qiqi seems much more at home and content in the cold air compared to the warmer air of Liyue. Sucrose knows the best paths to get to certain areas of the mountain and often has extra clothes hidden away in the serenitea pot. And thanks to Xianglings pyro vision her body heat never drops thanks to the controlled heat surrounding her.

Cloud however has a horrific time in Dragonspine, no amount of layers or goulash will stop Cloud from shivering their ass off. Cloud could literally be sat in the campfire and they’d still complain about how cold they are. More often then not they’re walking close to Xiangling or completely hide in the serenitea pot with a cup of tea

Both Cloud and Venti, very often with the addition of Xiangling have gliding competitions where they all try to fly the furthest and fastest to a location. Venti always cheats, but Cloud’s resonance with anemo always propel them a little more. Venti always wins. Cheater. And in all honesty? Xiangling doesn’t even stand a chance beside the cheaters, but she does love the competition

Being in a team with Cloud much often results to ranting to Venti about the new crush they have. Venti finds it hilarious that you seem to be attracted to almost every woman in Teyvat. Although, the one you seem to talk about the most is Beidou. Maybe she’ll join the team sometime soon

[cheeseburgersstuff]

Life As We Know It

Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Warnings: language, mistakes, shitty writing...(2.7k words shit)

A/N: this is for the nacho-baby weekly challenge @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho @captainchrisbaby​. Go check it out and support these loveliess!! <3

This is completely based on the movie:)

Master-list

“I can’t believe you are doing this” Ransom scoffed sitting on the couch watching his best friend fixing his tie. Peter turned towards him and a frown. “What do you mean by that” 

“I mean look at you, we used to have so much fun but then you suddenly decided to get married,” Ransom said, making peter roll his eyes. 

“You are saying this because you have never experienced love but one day ransom you will be standing there trying to fix this damn thing and I’ll not help you” Peter spat, still struggling with the tie. 

Ransom stood up and helped his friend. “You know that’s not gonna happen. I don’t do this love shit.” 

“Yeah, I know. You are an asshole. I mean you even didn’t take y/n out that day ``Peter sighed remembering, setting him up with her to- be- wife’s best friend. 

“Oh god. Stop it, Peter, she was such a bitch to me, I was just an hour late and she insulted me in front of all those people.” 

Peter didn’t say anything, knowing Ransom wouldn’t accept his mistake…

-----

“Omg, Alice you look so beautiful.” y/n said, her eyes filled with tears to see her best friend getting married. 

“I’m so nervous, it’s time, right,” Alice said pacing around the room. y/n nodded and led her outside where everyone was waiting for them. 

There she saw ransom standing beside Peter as his best man and suddenly her mood was spoiled because of his face. She knew he was going to be there but she wanted to avoid him.

The ceremony started and when the priest announced them as husband and wife, ransom made a gagging noise, which to her surprise everyone laughed at. 

y/n shook her head in annoyance. He was such an asshole. 

The whole evening went without any hitch, ransom got busy with some chick and y/n was enjoying her time with her friends. 

And finally, it was time for speeches. Everyone made their speeches, even Ransom. y/n waited for everyone to finish, for her emotional speech. 

But when it was finally her turn suddenly a tipsy ransom started the music and danced interrupting her in the middle. She felt so mad and was ready to hit him when Alice pulled her into a hug.  It wasn’t the first time ransom was being an asshole to her, they had always been like this especially after the date, Peter and Alice set up for them.

 Everyone knew about the rivalry so they ignored the rude intrusion of Ransom.

 ~

The next time the two saw each other was on Sophie’s 1st birthday. Ransom didn’t want to go but for the sake of his friend, he went there and because he was the co-god parent as well.

On the other hand, y/n was excited and was preparing the birthday cake for Sophie’s birthday. Ransom and Peter entered the kitchen. Ransom was picking up Sophie and brought her near the cake. 

Sophie giggled seeing the bright colors on the cake. “You like it, baby. You like your cake” y/n cooed at her but suddenly barfed and started to cry. 

Fortunately, the cake wasn’t ruined but ransom was laughing loudly. Alice stood up and took the baby in her hands.

 “Omg this is hilarious,” ransom said, teasing y/n only to receive a deadly glare from her. 

“Oh you two, don’t start now. She must have overfed” peter jabbed in before they could start to fight. 

Everyone gathered in the living room for the cake cutting. Alice put Sophie in y/n’s hand and mentioned her to cut the cake. y/n looked at her in confusion but did it anyway. Peter also pushed ransom in their direction.

 “Go on, you both are the Godparents” And with that, they both grabbed Sophie’s hand and cut the cake. Everyone cheered, making the baby giggle. “Say cheese,” 

Alice said and clicked a picture of them. Everything was perfect, all of them were living happily. Sophie with her parents, ransom his bachelor life and y/n focusing on her career.

 But suddenly everything was shattered when both y/n and ransom received a call of the accident. y/n was in the hospital when ransom came and saw her. Her eyes were swollen because of crying. Ransom looked at her in questioning but she shook her head. 

The doctor came out and declared their friend’s death. y/n couldn’t control herself and began to sob.Ransom reluctantly, pulled her into his arms. 

They both were worried about Sophie, she was too small for all of this.

`------

The next day they were called by Peter’s and Alice’s lawyer to their house. They both were sitting awkwardly next to each other, waiting for the lawyer to explain things. 

And the things they had been told about blew their minds. “What?” they both declared. 

The man in front of them just nodded. 

“They made you both the joint guardians of her,” he told them again. 

“What does that mean,” ransom said. 

“How could we do anything. How are we both gonna take care of her?” y/n cut him off. 

“Well, it’s all up to you. But whatever you guys decide, just remember if you couldn’t take good care of her they’ll put her for adoption.” 

“They, who they?” ransom asked incredulously.

“Child protection services. They gonna observe you both for few months before you guys officially become her parents” 

“Parents? We are not even married” Ransom yelled. But he just shrugged in response and stood up to leave. 

y/n kept sitting in her seat, without moving. She was too shocked to understand anything. One second she was celebrating with her friends and the other, she was a mother? 

But Ransom’s condition was even worse than her. He was worried about his life, he never wanted to be a father, he never wanted to settle down. But it wasn’t an issue right. The CPS wouldn’t be satisfied with them both and… Sophie would go to some orphanage and then some family would adopt her. 

He didn’t know why but thinking about that made him feel worse than before. Sophie wasn’t an orphan, his friends made them her godparents. 

He looked towards y/n who was still sitting there. “What are we gonna do?” he asked, for the first time like a normal person. 

“I think… we should try this. For Sophie, for them” …

----

It was a tough decision, they both knew. But somehow they both started to tolerate each other. They still fight but not as usual.

And surprisingly ransom was enjoying this life, with Sophie. He was preparing the milk bottle for her because y/n was taking too long in the shower. 

Sophie was crying in front of the TV which ransom thought to switch on to distract her. “Shh... it’s okay baby, here I come” 

Ransom ran towards her with the bottle and took her in his arms. Sophie started to feed, with her eyes now glued to the tv screen. And suddenly it was peaceful.

y/n came downstairs after some time, her hair was still wet, and saw ransom sleeping in an awkward position with Sophie comfortable on his chest. 

It had barely three weeks since they were living together and y/n’s opinion about ransom was starting to change. He still was an asshole but he could be responsible too. 

He had helped her so much, always volunteered to take Sophie out whenever y/n would be working from home, he sometimes helped in changing her diaper as well. 

She walked towards them silently and bent to take Sophie from his grip. Her face was too close to ransom and her wet hair touched his cheek making him open his eyes. 

y/n’s breath got stuck in her throat when he opened his eyes. Ransom on the other hand didn’t understand anything that moment but then he looked down, their hands were touching as they both were grabbing the little girl. 

Ransom gave her to y/n and sat up. y/n turned towards Sophie’s room to put her in the crib. 

When she came back ransom was still there. 

“Have you eaten anything?” y/n asked as she was warming her food in the oven. Ransom shook his head, so she served him too. 

They both kept eating in silence. And for the first time, y/n thought maybe they could handle this whole guardian thing but god she was so wrong. 

The very next day they fought. 

It was evening when she was ransom getting ready to go out. 

“Oh, you are going somewhere?” ransom hummed without looking at her. “Well, take Sophie too then cuz I’ll be going soon too. I’ll have to meet a client” she said. 

“At this time?” he asked incredulously. y/n nodded and tried to give Sophie to him. 

“No, I’m going on a date okay. I can’t take her” he stepped back. 

“God ransom! Date?? I have a meeting to attend, can't you go tomorrow?” she asked but he just shrugged. 

“No, I gotta go, you change your plans this time” and before she could reply ransom went out of the house.

y/n let out a frustrated sigh and called her Eva, her colleague to ask her to keep Sophie for a few hours. 

But the time she dropped Sophie to her house and went to the meeting she was twenty minutes late. 

“I’m so sorry for being late Mr. James.” she apologized but the man just shook his head complaining how long he was waiting for her. 

Aside from that, the meeting went well and she came back home with Sophie. She was still pissed at Ransom. 

Couldn’t he wait for one day to bang a chick? She wanted to yell at him but he didn’t come home and eventually she fell asleep. 

It was past midnight when ransom came and saw her sleeping on the couch. He ignored her and went towards his bedroom locking it from inside.  He knew there was a war coming tomorrow. But now he was too tired to think anything so he just went to his bed…

------

The next morning ransom went to the kitsch where y/n was making her breakfast. “Can I have some too?” he asked, his voice hoarse from sleeping. 

“Go ask the chick you banged last night.” her reply made him annoyed. 

“Oh C’mon y/n, it’s too early for your shit” he scoffed which made her angrier. 

“My shit Ransom? I was humiliated last night because of you,” she yelled but before he could reply the doorbell rang. 

He turned away from her and walked to open the door. A woman dressed up professionally was standing there. 

“Hello, you must be Mr. Drysdale,” she said. 

“Ransom” he replied grumpily. 

“I’m Jenny, your CPS caseworker,” she said and walked inside. She looked all over the house, and ransom was internally panicking. 

y/n came outside and saw the woman. “Hello,” Jenny greeted and explained her reason to come. y/n and ransom sat in front of her, as if were in some interview. 

“Where is the baby?” she asked them. y/n got up with a smile and brought a sleepy sophie downstairs. 

Sophie looked comfortable with y/n as if she was with her own mother. Their behavior with Sophie satisfied Jenny but she felt them a bit rude with each other. 

Their answers were not the same about Sophie's routine. 

“Well, you don’t know that cuz I took her for check up last week.” y/n whispered angrily to ransom. 

“Oh so now you're gonna act as if I don’t do anything for her? I was the one cleaning her shit when you were too busy with your work but look I didn’t complain like you” 

But before y/n could reply back Jenny cleared her throat awkwardly making them look in her way. 

“Well, look, you guys are really good with sophie. Trust me I've seen so many worst cases but what I’m worried about is you two. If you couldn’t adjust with each other how you gonna keep Sophie as a family. So it’s better you decide to patch up or we could look for a new family” jenny declared and stood up to leave. 

“Two more weeks, before that, decide whatever you want."

y/n and ransom watched her go and sighed. y/n sat on the couch. 

“We can’t do this.” she whispered to herself. “We can’t be them, they were perfect, they never fought. And look at us.” she chuckled. 

Ransom frowned at her but agreed. “You are right. This was never going to work out. I’m even surprised I made up this far.” he scoffed. 

That day no one talked to each other. Even Sophie could feel something was wrong. She looked up at ransom and cooed gaining his attention. Ransom looked down and smiled at her. 

“D..da..d” she made, grabby hands towards him. His breath stuck in his throat hearing those words. Who knew someone would call ransom drysdale a dad? and he would even like it?!!

And that moment ransom knew there was no way he would let anyone take the single chance to live a happy life… 

-----

y/n was in her room packing her things. She thought she would be happy but she wasn’t. Living with ransom and Sophie became normal, just like they were a family. 

But they weren’t perfect, as a family should be. 

y/n was looking under the bed to find her things when she saw a box. She pulled it out and saw dvd’s and albums inside it. 

It was all Peter and Alice, the moments they captured. The wedding, honeymoon and when Alice got pregnant. 

“No Peter not blue” Alice yelled behind the camera. They were painting the baby’s room. 

“But she will love blue sweetheart. Not all girls are the same” peter argued. 

And then the video ended with their silly arguments, just like her and ransom. Wait, did she just compare her and ransom with them?

“So they weren’t perfect either” ransom voice came from behind. She turned to look at him, expecting him to wear a smug smile but he wasn’t. 

There was a weird sadness in his eyes. y/n shrugged. 

‘Does it matter. They are gone and now we will be too,” she wanted to cry for sophie. 

Ransom walked towards her and kneel down. “Last try? And this time not just for Sophie or them…. But for each other too?” his eyes were filled with hope. 

“This time, i won’t be late. I promise”  y/n chuckled, the tears spilling from her eyes. “You better not be” 

Ransom smiled and kissed her hand. 

------

Two years passed and the small arguments between Random and y/n were still there. But what’s the fun without arguments? These little things are what makes a perfect family.

“C'mon sophie come to me” y/n said. It was Sophie's second birthday and yes, y/n made the cake this time as well. 

Ransom chuckled seeing Sophie ignoring y/n and continued doing her thing. 

“Hey, princess come to me, it’s time to cut the yummy cake” hearing his voice, Sophie giggled and took small steps towards ransom. 

Y/n watched them with a wide open mouth which only made ransom smirk. 

“You know she loves me more, she even called dad first.” saying that ransom ran away before y/n could burst out on him. 

Everyone was present there, their friends, family, celebrating her birthday. It was the best time for ransom. So after eating the cake he walked towards y/n who was laughing with her friend. 

He tapped her shoulder making her turn. Ransom knelt on his knees and took out a hand. Everyone gasped seeing this. 

“Never in my life I thought I would do this, but y/n… you made me do this, you made me experience what love is. And now I want the same thing Peter did.” 

Sophie came from behind with a small black box and gave it to ransom. “So y/n y/l/n, Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" ” 

Y/n jumped out of excitement and nodded her head. Ransom placed the ring on her finger and stood up to kiss her. 

Everyone cheered at the couple. 

She looked at her parents smiling at each other, a picture of them smiling was hanging on the wall from Sophie's first birthday.

And that moment both, ransom and y/n thanked their friends to choose them as the guardians...

.

@donutloverxo​ 

[hobihobihoe]

Unruly - Part one

Obey me! + Mafia BTS + 0T7 au x reader                                                                

2.5k ish 

Warnings : 18+ slowwww burn ~ eventual smut ~ descriptions of blood and violence ~ cliche city ~ alsooo uhh if you care about grammar this is not 4 U cause imma dumb bitch <3

Andd ahh this is the first thing i’ve ever written so its probably kinda shit.. :)

Great. Just great. Why did you agree to this again? Oh yeah because you’re a good person, or at least you’re trying to be. You’d just agreed to cover Rosies shift, apparently she was sick, but what you hadn't taken into account when you’d agreed to work was that Rosie had been booked to a private venue, well I guess now you had been booked to a private venue. You hated working private venues, as a bartender people would sometimes assume you provided the drinks or that because you weren't working at your company bar you would join in with shots or maybe give them a discount as you were a lone ranger incharge of yourself and providing alcohol for the night. One thing a private venue did mean though was money, getting paid nearly twice the amount you usually did as well as hopefully generous tips from wealthy clients. But still you weren’t quite sure three times the work was worth only double the pay, but well… fuck it you’ve gotta be a good friend/colleague and well person to Rosie so you just have to suck it up.

Thankfully it was a Saturday night so you didn't have to work it after being at university all day. So you bid farewell to the library you had been pretending to study at and headed home to get changed into something more presentable because a hoodie three times your size and leggings covered in dorito dust probably wouldn't fly at this kind of event.

As you opened the door you heard the crocky meows of your little baby, Zuki. He was an all black rescue cat that you'd adopted two years ago, when you’d started university, as a companion and partly because as soon as you saw his cute little face you were screwed and had to bring him home. You bent down to stroke his head and scratch behind his ear just the way he likes, which results in him vibrating with loud purrs that soften your heart. “Okay baby I love you but I gotta go get ready” Zuki looks at you with annoyance now that you've cut his pampering session short, he's such a spoiled little brat you think to yourself, but as he follows you into your bedroom with his tail high in the air and a slight sway in his steps you can't bring yourself to care. He is just too damn cute.

Now donned in your crisp white shirt and black dress pants you tame your hair enough so that it resembles a neatish bun, you say goodbye to your fur baby and head off to your car on your way to hopefully a nice paycheque.

When you arrive you're greeted by Jae. He leads you to the bar and tells you to ask him if there's anything you need. Okay so far so good, you've just gotta make yourself familiar with any specialised drinks on the menu and the rest should be smooth sailing. About 10 minutes after you arrive a large group of men appear, they sit down on two separate sides of the long table that takes up most of the room, they then send two men from each group respectively your way. Game time you think, the man that reaches the bar first is sweating noticeably, his black hair sticking to the front of his forehead matting the hair that it encompases. “sweetheart get me 6 doubles of gentleman jack over ice and 2 dry martinis”, you smile at him, so thankful that you wouldn't have to make any cocktails. They were time consuming and required a lot of faf essentially and a lot of cleaning up, “of course sir” you say as you smile at him, he barely acknowledges you as he goes to sit at one of the stools that lined the bar. As you get to making his drinks you hear the clearing of someone's throat, you look up and realise it was the other man that you had been coming over. You nearly choke on your spit at the sight of him. His pastel pink hair is delicately framing his cherub-like face, “Miss?”, oh shit you’d zoned out, “Oh i'm so sorry I missed what you said completely '' you admitted shly, he just gave a cute little chuckle. “ Its okay angel” you started to blush at the use of such an affectionate nickname “I asked if I could have 6 manhattans and a sex on the beach” great fucking coacktails you signed internaly, “Of course sir” that earned a smirk from him, you were just being professional, shit professional you had to remind yourself to focus on making the drinks as your traitorous eyes kept lingering in the area surrounding him.

As you finish preparing each individual drink you place them on the bar so the men can take them to booths. Just as you were setting down the final cocktail you brush fingers with the pink haired man, “oh... um” you say prepared to give him an apology but as you look up and meet his eyes you seem to lose your ability to form any kind of cohesive sentence “Jimin, angel, my names Jimin” he states  “oh uh, Jimin I hope you enjoy your drinks'' you feel like a pathetic teenager again unable to talk to the pretty boy at the party. “I'm sure I will angel” he throws over his shoulder as he walks back to the group of men he’d emerged from, what was it with him saying that nickname that just made you giddy. God I really need to get out more you thought, maybe you could go out tomorrow as you wouldn't be working since you covered rosies shift, maybe then you could get some real action and should hopefully suasiate you for a bit. Ugh it's like Jimin had awoken something within you, which usually you’d be interested to explore, but considering that you were at work you were gonna just have to put his beautiful face to the back of your mind for when you got home later and could relax properly. Zesh should you feel creepy? No its not your fault that what was practically sex on legs was going about all unobtainable, thats what your imagination and your trusty vibrator were for anyway.

An hour later and you've made exactly three more drinks, wow, maybe if you stare at the champagne flute for another 10 minutes you'll unlock its secrets and it will be more interesting. Just as you were debating wiping down the bar for the hundredth time you hear chairs being pulled out and moved loudly. You look up to see that both groups of men which were previously amicably sat at the table now have guns aimed at each other. You freeze. You haven't ever seen a gun in person before and there must be well over ten now all presumably aimed and ready to fire. You dunk under the bar as you hear yelling start. You weren't able to focus on what was being said by the men, too busy trying to focus on controlling your breathing. Fuck. that sounded like a gun shot. And then another. You've lost track of how many shots you've heard, lots is the amount you settle on, maybe if you just stay behind the bar and stay quiet they'll forget you’re there and leave you alone. There is a long silence in the room, you try your best to mimic it when you notice the movement in one of the wine glasses that are stacked up behind the bar. Someone pushes the staff entrance to the bar open and strides towards you, gun in his right hand. You start to push yourself backward but are soon met with the edge of the bar, the man is dressed in all red and if it weren't for the specks of blood covering his face you would consider him unbelievably attractive. You seem to have been consumed by these thoughts because you suddenly come back into your physical reality, met with a gun now pointed only inches away from your face. You search his eyes for any kind of mercy or empathy you could try to appeal to, what shocks you is you only see a smoldering fire. You see his finger move on the trigger and close your eyes, you don't want the last thing you see to be a stranger. Just as you were going to try to think of pleasant things and the ones you cheriouish you hear a voice. “Hobi stop” Jimin said rather nonchalantly given your current situation, “Chim just let me tie up this loose end then we can get going” the other man, you guess Hobi? Sneered. Wow he just thought of killing you as an inconvenience, what a dick. “Hobi I think we could use her for something else” “what?” Hobi questioned sternly “well even Yoongi mentioned how good his drink was and we always have to get a new bartender every meeting and it would be easier if we had one who knew who we were so when this kind of shit happens again we haven't got any loose ends” Jimin points out. Hobi seems to consider this for a minute before he moves away in a different direction to Jimin, you try to follow his eye line but because of your placement on the floor you can’t see over the bar. “Joon, obviously the call is yours to make” Hobi announces. “It does seem to be a practical suggestion and Jimin must have taken a liking to her if he stopped you, so I don't see why not” the ominous voice declared. After a second of those words sinking in you realise that they have just decided to take you with them, to take you captive.

You start to shake, turning your head to meet Jimin's eye “no uh..um.no please don't take me” you sniffle “I promise I never saw anything, I won't say anything p-please just let me go home” you can barley make out your own words as they are effectively smothered by your tears and your small gasps for breath as you aren't able to regulate your breathing. Jimin elegantly slides over the bar and bends down to your height “Angel don't be so silly, you're coming with us. You should really be thanking me” he gives you a small wink. That causes a fresh wave of panic to settle over you, you know there's a fire exit further down in the bar hidden within the sinks and stock area, with the spike of adrenaline you start to run towards the exit. It looks like it's going well until you hear a loud bang, then the feeling of the side of your head being hit registers, lastly you notice your eyesight unfocusing before darkness seems to override and then suddenly, nothing.

~JIMINS POV~

“Yoongi was that really necessary?” Jimin akses with a slight frown on his face. The older man shrugs “someone had to do something” Jimin sighs and looks at Jungkook, “it will be easier if you carry her.”

~YOUR POV~

When you open your eyes again you see white, adjusting slightly, you realise your laying on a bed. You sit up and look around the room. There are 5 other beds that you can see, they are all small single beds with a chest at the end of each. You look over your surroundings for a few minutes before you remember the circumstances leading up to you being here. You touch the back of your head and wince when your fingers meet a small swollen bump. You decided you should probably try and leave, poor Zuki is probably waiting for you to fill his food bowl. Wow, you realise in this situation you think of your cat's mortality more than your own, well you guess that's what your life has amounted to. Just as you stand up the door opens. “Oh you're awake now” You look over to see the small older woman who was speaking “Umm.. where am i?” The lady gives you a small smile “You're in the maids room sweetie.” Great that's cleared up nothing, you think bitterly. “Can I talk to whoever's in charge? Please?” You think this is probably your best bet, explain to them that you just want to go hope and hopefully they'll be humane enough to agree with that. “Yes, he wanted me to come and get you anyway” She states as she turns around walking away from the doorway, you start to follow her. As you continue walking through the hallways and up the stairs of this seemingly huge mansion you notice several men standing guard with guns rested in their hands, ready at all times. You start to wonder if maybe your idea is ridiculous as you realise wherever you are and whatever you have gotten yourself involved in may be larger than the small group of men you'd seen at the bar. Your worrying is cut short as the women raises her hand and knocks at a door you have stopped outside off, a short “Come in” is what is answered from the other side of the door, the older women looks to you, “You should go in alone, i'll be waiting for you here” You look at her and then to the door “Uh... thank you?” You’re not really sure what the appropriate response is in this situation but you don't want to be rude, she gives you a short nod and smile.

Once you open the door you're faced with one of the men you'd seen before. He regards you with a very slight smile before he gestures to a chair placed in front of the desk he is sitting behind, you walk over to sit at the chair before you look at him directly. You aren't sure if the bang to the head you had received had caused temporary delusions, but as you look at him you swear you see light radiating out of him. You meet his eyes for a second before you decide they are too intimidating and look away, “You wanted to see me?” you ask meekly, deciding to for now abandon your plea for freedom. “Yes, I did, i'm not sure if you remember why we brought you here so i’ll just go over your role again” he starts “You’re going to be working as our personal bartender, this means you will joins us on outings that we deem appropriate and also make our drinks whilst we are here, at the base” he then moves his face into your eye line so that he can make eye contact “And in return of your services we’ll let you live” he finishes his small speech with a slight smile, as if he had just offered you a job and you weren't being threatened and held captive in this place. You take a few minutes to think over what he had just said, you come to the conclusion that for now faking compliance is probably the safest thing you can do until you are able to find a window to escape. “Who do you mean when you say we?” you enquire, you weren't sure if you should be questioning the leader of this organisation?, but your curiosity had won over any of the other responses you considered.

[onedivinemisfit]

Obiyuki Witcher!AU “chara sheet”, this time Shirayuki. My favourite little Bruxa <3 Accompanies this one; Obi

Posted mainly bc I’m busy with the backlog that is coloring all the outfits I made for her XD

AnS (c) Akizuki Sorata

Art: Me

Notes:

- Shirayuki’s mom was a bruxae, and her father human. Mukaze was initially lured in to be food for her mother’s vampire coven, but she fell in love with him. Refusing the matriarch’s orders, her mother escaped to the coast of Cidaris, where Shirayuki was later born. She’s never met her father, but she knew he had to be a sailor of some sort, for her mother would always gaze wistfully out towards the sea.

- Shirayuki was raised on the outskirts of human society, to avoid attracting too much attention. Her mother taught her to prey on wild animals rather than humanoids, or cattle, to avoid causing a stir. Shirayuki’s favourite food is deer blood pudding. She finds “solid” foods very exciting.

- Although not raised in a bruxa coven like her mother, Shirayuki was still taught some of their customs and history, if only to fill the cold winter evenings when sitting in front of the fireplace while her momma mended sleeves and darned socks, and blood soup was beginning to boil, wafting deliciously coppery in their little hut.

- Her mother was killed when Shirayuki was young, and she had to make do on her own, having to master such skills as hunting for food, patching her clothes, pickpocket when desperate, and gauge the smallfolk’s opinion of her - so she would know when to bolt. She picked up herbalism while on the road, and has lived many places across the north, though always sticking to the coast. Old habits...

- As a young teen, she crashes into an islander girl named Torou - who turns out to be her half-sister. Basically they felt instant kinship and when comparing notes, found that Torou’s father had been to the mainland and spoken of this beautiful woman he met there. Torou would have taken Shirayuki back with her if she could, but Shirayuki is... not people-minded, always terrified by her otherness, and her mind fresh with what humans can do to monsters if they find them. They keep their sisterhood secret, Torou teaching Shirayuki to read and write, Shirayuki helping Torou spar (to this day, her elder sister is envious of her bruxae speed) and keep in touch by letter.

- Being bruxae means Shirayuki can communicate with birds, entrance humanoids with song, and despite looking like a normal woman, packs a punch few can match. She’s not volatile by nature, but can be spurred to action for a number of reasons, at which point she lets loose her claws, her fangs and her invisibility. Her slight build and short stature *always* ensures her enemies will underestimate her attack power. Only witchers can really match her...

- Yes, she has murdered. Killed in self-defense, mostly, but once or twice outright murdered people. Her fluctuating misanthropy means she’s sometimes sorry, sometimes absolutely not.

- During her travels, Shirayuki finds Ryuu, the “wolf pup”, as she nicknamed him at first. A werewolf cub abandoned by his natural mother, and raised by a leshy in the woods that was now dead, she adopts him as her own. She teaches him language, both Common and Vampiric, to ensure she can communicate him without anyone understanding what she’s saying; she feeds and clothes him, telling curious villagers how he is her step-son by her “late hunter husband” (who of course never existed) and of course lets him roam the woods at night, true to his nature.

- Shirayuki and Ryuu settle in the woods of Velen, Temeria, a couple years before the Third War, of course affecting your typical displaced commoners looking for a new home. She moves them into an abandoned hunter’s hut, and sets up as a forager-herbalist. The smallfolk come to her for cures, trading mostly in foodstuffs or utilities, but they are generally distrustful of her. Shirayuki is simply too other, even when affecting human-ness; living alone deep in the woods, unafraid of anything; hunting, which is obviously not womanly, even if her hides supply the village with leather; her son, who never speaks and is almost never seen, and never plays with the other children; and her unnerving beauty, which draws people in whether they want to or not. Rumors abound of her, her character, her tastes, people adding to the rumours with fear and lust.

- The arrival of a witcher in the village makes Shirayuki nervous. Humans she can fool, but a witcher senses that which others do not, and he’s soon on her tail. Shirayuki pretends to the best of her ability to not be what he suspects her to be, but it comes to blows. Obi, thankfully, sees sense, realizing neither Shirayuki nor Ryuu actually eat humans for funsies, but the damage is done, so he offers to escort them across the Northern Realms while they look for a new place to live. Easier said than done considering the continent is aflame with war and famine, but they’ll try anyway.

- Bruxae though she is, Shirayuki only uses her inborn skill for suggestion and seduction when needs must, but as time goes on and Obi pisses her off, flatters her, flirts then retreat, and generally treats her like no other human... ish... has ever done, she wishes she could turn the tables om him. It would be easy, too, were she not... truly beginning to care for him...

[vagarius]

domestic misukazu hcs

1. their kitchen cabinets are full of mismatched mugs and bowls and plates, in a rainbow of colors and sizes. there is exactly one matching pair of cups and plates, hidden at the back of the cabinet, that they'll use if one of them is specifically trying to be romantic.

2. the two of them probably have a lot of unsynchronised late nights but they always leave each other dinner wrapped on the counter and sleepily wake up when the other finally crawls into bed to say "welcome home" before falling back to sleep next to them

3. misumi is Super Ultra determined to not lose his keys and to use the front door when they first move into their place but he can only keep track of them for so long and when he confesses to kazu that he had to climb in through the window kazu just laughs bc he loves this man, dw i made a copy of our keys, as long as you shut the window after you come in i dont mind

4. consider: kazunari, glasses on and book in hand, sitting in the middle of the couch with misumi sprawled across his lap, fast asleep

5. they probably share a closet in a literal sense but also a metaphorical sense bc all their shirts and jackets are around the same size so unless it is Tailored Formal Wear there is no distinction other than the fuzzy feeling they get when the other wears one of their things

6. they never officially adopt any animals but cats constantly pass through to say hi to misumi and update him on the latest kitty gossip and occassionally drop off triangular objects. kazunari never is sure what's happening, but he's learned to keep cat food at the ready.

more under the cut!!!

7. their place is the one you show up uninvited to looking for cuddles and an impromptu movie night and onigiri with your favorite filling and leave the next morning with coffee and even more onigiri and maybe a sticker on your hand

8. they raise three succulents named san, ka, and ku

9. going off from that the reason they have succulents is because both of them travel a lot for work (hc sumi as an actor and kazu having his own art/graphics based independent business) and they know san, ka, and ku can fend for themselves if need be

10. pls consider kazu with a "kiss the cook" apron except misumi may or may not usually do the cooking so kazu will put it on and then go up and kiss misumi on his own at random times of the day

11. they have a giant bookshelf along one of their walls filled with kazunari's plethora of hyper-specific reference books, random volumes of manga, and a whole shelf dedicated to scrapbooks, photo albums, and triangle knick-knacks

12. every mirror in their house has a picture or two tucked in the corner. kazunari's favorite is one from one of those arcade/mall photobooths, where misumi may or may not have kissed him for the first time. misumi's favorite is one with kazu on his shoulders at the park.

13. NOT NECESSARILY DOMESTIC HC SO MUCH AS A FUTURE ONE BUT KAZUNARI LETTING HIS HAIR GROW OUT WITHOUT DYEING IT... pudding hair long haired kazu. misumi puts it into a bun for him while he makes coffee in the mornings and may or may not buy him too many triangle hair accessories

14. ONCE MORE A FUTURE HC MORE THAN A DOMESTIC HC BUT i think. misumi should get more ear piercings. and kazunari peppers kisses on all of them when they're fully healed. and finds a lot of joy in pushing misumi's hair back behind his ears.

15. they are dummies that wash each other's hair in their too-small bathtub and give themselves soap bubble beards and trace hair conditioner triangles on each others' cheeks.

16. they don't "slow dance in the kitchen" so much as "misumi picks up kazunari and spins them around and sings a random tune while they wait for the rice cooker to beep"

17. misumi nurses kazu back to health whenever kazu gets sick but he always kisses kazu while he does so so without fail he catches whatever kazu had as soon as kazu is healed up and kazu takes care of him in turn (misumi is as much less willing patient tho)

18. if they live an apt building... just. the aesthetic of them sitting on the fire escape in their pajamas while pressed together from thigh to shoulder and watching the stars... good

19. kazunari prefers to work in silence but he very quickly comes to love hearing misumi humming and lightly singing whenever he's at home

20. whenever someone comes to visit they give the guest their bed and sleep tangled together on the floor or the couch

21. thinking about them grocery shopping together and kazu has their list organized by what order would be most optimal to grab things except kazu's calculations are Wrong and when he offhandedly says he's a bit tired misumi lifts him and drops him into the shopping cart

22. kazu holding misumi after a nightmare. he walks them to the window so they can see the stars. misumi's eyes lock onto vega, shining brightly in the sky.

23. misumi still takes non-acting part time jobs and will sometimes get called in early in the morning and on those days kazunari will wake up to a warm mug of coffee and a couple onigiri on the nightstand, and an extra blanket thrown over him

24. on that note misumi leaving little "anonymous" gifts in general around their place for kazu to find as if kazu won't immediately know who they're from

25. their fridge is covered in doodles, from kazu and misumi alike. kazu usually leaves drawings/old thumbnails and misumi will add sankaku-kuns in when he isn't looking

26. "Kazu?"

"..."

"I really, really love you."

"..."

"Let's stay together for a long, long time, okay?"

27. birthdays are for breakfast in bed and homemade gifts and dinner with their precious friends

28. consider: misumi gently coaxing kazu into bed while kazu insists "on more chapter" while he practically falls asleep on the couch

29. (since it is softly raining here) one of them walking the other to the train station in order to share their single umbrella after their second one broke and sending them off with a quick kiss on the cheek

30. even years later, misumi still marvels at all the little things about sharing a living space - having both their toothbrushes in the holder, the extra plate in the sink, the scribbled half-doodles kazu sometimes leaves lying around - they're all very, very precious to him

31. when kazunari stays at his parents for a weekend early on in their domestic, living-together life, he calls up tsuzuru (+others, possibly) to go visit misumi on the nights he's gone

32. they always greet each other with forehead kisses, especially since they both usually have their hands full (with either art supplies or triangles)

[appalachianwiine]

Swim Chapter 9 - A Friend

Chapter 9

And if it feels like it's already over

Lean in closer, rest your bones

You've got a friend when times get mean

Yeah, in the meantime I'm on your team

“In the Meantime” - Randall Kent

The day passed in an odd sense of time for Carol, while the kids and her classes kept her busy enough the moments between periods and over lunch seemed to stretch on forever. The opening and closing of the heavy classroom doors shoved and yanked by teenagers all too ready to leave class brought back clear memories of heavy hospital doors being swung open and the room filling with people. Every time a phone would chime or the office would call she’d be dragged back to memories of the nurses calling in codes and shouting for doctors.

3 o’clock came and went and instead of staying after to grade papers or work on paperwork she started cleaning up the classroom to leave. To get to the hospital by 430 she needed to be out of here by 4. She moved robotically through the motions of wiping down the desks and straightening the textbooks. Her mind was with Lydia and Daryl now.

She knew all too well the feeling of being in one of those rooms, time lost to the hospital. Morning, noon, and night change to first shift, second shift, third shift. Hours turning to IV drip times and vitals checks. It could crush a person alone like that and Daryl seemed to think he was very alone. She got the sense he had been for a long time and it worried her. It reminded her of Leah and Matthew really, they’d come from a small farm in northern Georgia and despite all of Carol’s pushing and offering and turning up Leah had never been friendly. Even Ezekiel hadn’t managed to get more then a few words at a time from the woman and he could get just about anybody to talk. She didn’t want to see Daryl and Lydia facing the same sort of isolation.

Carol stopped to pick up coffee for her and Daryl on the way to the hospital. It wasn’t a lot but sometimes a warm drink that wasn’t crappy hospital coffee could make a difference. Pulling into the hospital parking lot she spots a familiar face. The dark haired woman and little boy who’d come to see Lydia and Daryl a few days ago.

“Excuse me!” Carol calls, hurrying to catch up. The woman turns around. “Sorry sorry are you going to see Daryl and Lydia?”

“Yes.” The woman nods. “You must be Carol, from the group. I’m Dr. Grimes.”

“Yeah, Carol.” Carol nods. “Dr. Grimes, it’s nice to met you. Have you known Daryl for long?”

“Seven years almost. Carl was just a baby when my husband and Daryl started working together.” Dr. Grimes says. “I’ve been Lydia’s pediatrician since Daryl adopted her four years ago.”

“Oh.” Carol frowns, “Then you -”

“Caught the cancer?” Dr. Grimes nods. “Yeah, something was wrong, I pushed the lab to expedite the sample, and I’m glad I did it but I have to say that wasn’t ever a call I expected to make in my career. Especially not to someone I know so personally like Daryl. It’s the worst phone call I’ve ever made.”

“I can imagine.” Carol nods. “But I’m glad he has friends behind him, he needs them.”

“Well maybe you could tell him to call every now and then.” Dr. Grimes mutters, pressing the elevator door button. “He nearly gave us a heart attack the first time he called. It was nearly a full 24 hours after he came to the hospital.”

“It’s overwhelming.” Carol frowns. “Learning your kid is that sick, I’m sure he didn’t mean to worry you. He’s a nice guy.”

“He’s too nice.” Dr. Grimes sighs. “Carl step away from the doors or they won’t close.” She pulls the little boy back a step or two by his shirt. “Every time i call it’s vague answers and I know he doesn’t want to worry us but still…”

“He doesn’t want to be a burden.” Carol nods. “It’s - it’s pretty common in this world. Most people pull away when they learn you or your child has cancer. And the ones that don’t - we don’t want to burden the people who stay.”

“He’s always been like that.” Dr. Grimes sighs. “I just wish I knew how to help so he didn’t have to ask.”

“I can help with that.” Carol offers. “If you want.”

“Really?” Dr. Grimes says, ushering Carl out of the elevator. “What can we do.”

“Well - right now… everything is kind of managed for them, the doctors and nurses tell him how to clean, when to eat and sleep, what medications to take when.” Carol explains as they begin the walk down the hall. “When they get home, it’s - it’s going to be a lot scarier. Because then everything is on Daryl. If you’d like my help I’d like to help prepare the house for when he and Lydia get back. Pill organizers, cleaning supplies, wound care, that sort of thing.”

“Okay.” Dr. Grimes says. “Yeah, of course we’ll help.”

“Moooommmmm” Carl whines. “You’re being slow.”

“Alright, alright.” Dr. Grimes rolls her eyes good naturedly. “Sorry about him, this is the most he and Lydia have been apart in a long time. They were in the same class at school, and they were supposed to go to camp together this summer.”

“It’s fine.” Carol chuckles, picking up the pace slightly.

Lydia’s room has a white board attached to the door reading;

LYDIA DIXON - 8 YRS

IV VINCRISTINE

“Mom what’s vin - vin -” Carl frowns. “That?”

“It’s medicine baby.” Dr. Grimes says. “To help Lydia get better, but it might make her feel sick so we need to be quiet and calm when we go in okay?”

“Okay.” Carl nodded solemnly, reaching for his moms hand.

Carol leans forward and knocks on the door.

“Come in.” A tired, gruff voice says.

Carol pushes the door open and holds it for Dr. Grimes and Carl to go in first. Lydia is curled up in a ball on Daryl’s lap, pale as a ghost and wrapped in a blanket.

“Carl!” Lydia mutters, moving off Daryls lap and holding her arms out. Carl looks up at his mom and she nudges him forward. That’s all it takes for him to rush over and embrace Lydia.

“Hey Daryl.” Carol smiles. “I brought you decent coffee.”

“Thank.” He mutters, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. “T’ be hones I think I’m too tired t’ tell the decent stuff from the shit stuff.”

“Long night?” Carol asks.

“Yeah.” Daryl mutters. “Thanks fer comin’.”

“Of course.” She offers a supportive smile.

“How’s Carl an’ Judith?” Daryl asks turning to Dr. Grimes.

“Judith started walking, much to Shane’s horror. I sometimes forget this is the first baby he’s responsible for.” Dr. Grimes chuckles.

“Hey that’s a hell of a shock.” Daryl says. “Imagine getting a four year old and having no parenting experience.”

“You’re doing great.” Dr. Grimes says.

“Thanks Lori.” Daryl mutters. “So uh, you met Carol?”

“Yeah we ran into each other in the parking lot.” Carol nods. “So, how you holding up?”

“Um.” He glances at Lydia and Carl, who are now both wrapped in Lydia’s blanket on the end of the bed and whispering to each other. “It’s uh - it’s been a rough day. Henry and Ezekiel came by earlier, tha’ was nice. But It’s just kinda...”

“Numb?” Carol asks quietly.

“Yeah.” Daryl nods. “Numb. I was uh lookin’ at this binder and it’s - it’s like… it’s insane. I mean, three months in the hospital getting intensive chemotherapy. How do - how I even prepare for that?”

“You ask for help.” Lori whispers. “And you take it when it’s offered.”

“She’s right Daryl.” Carol says. “Those stays are impossibly hard when you’re on your own, so you let us help.”

Daryl didn’t look so sure about that, and next to her, Lori folded her arms. “Daryl Dixon. You’re not on your own anymore and trying to do it all on your own isn’t going to let you focus on Lydia. So you’re going to let us help. Got it?”

“Alright, alright.” Daryl runs a hand over his face.

“And right now you’re going to let us help by going down to the cafeteria with Carol and getting some real food.” Lori continues, looking over at Carol and raising an eyebrow. “Because if theres one thing you look like you could use right now it’s a good meal and an adult conversation.”

“I shouldn’t leave Lydia.” Daryl argues.

“She’s fine.” Lori insists. “She knows me, and she and Carl can watch a movie.”

“Lyd?” Daryl asks quietly. The little brunette turns back to look at her dad. “You okay if I go get some food with Ms. Carol?”

Lydia cocks her head and looks between the two of them. “I… I guess. You’ll come back?”

“Soon as I’m done.” Daryl nods, leaning over and kissing her hair.

“Okay.” Lydia nods.

“You two want to watch a movie?” Lori asks, motioning them out of the room.

Daryl lingers and Carol reaches out and touches his arm lightly. “Come on, they’ll be fine.”

Daryl doesn’t say a word until they’re out of the room. “Sorry about Lori she’s just -”

“She’s looking out for you.” Carol cuts him off. “I know it feels awful leaving her right now, but you have to take a minute to recharge too. Come on, I’ll buy you lunch.”

“You don’t have -”

“I’m doing it.” Carol insists. “We can go over that if you want.” She nods at the binder still in his hands. “I uh, I know pretty well whats in there. I’m sure you have questions.”

“Oh.” He frowns at the folder. “Do uh - do we have to?”

“No.” Carol says, stepping into the elevator. “We can just chat if you want. Try to get your mind off of everything in there.”

Fifteen minutes later she and Daryl are sat with a soda and sandwich each at the back of the cafeteria. Daryl seems to realize he’s hungry and inhales half the sandwich without a word, he pauses abruptly, mayonnaise on his face and turns red.

“Sorry.” He mutters, reaching for a napkin. “I uh -”

“No need.” Carol smiles. “I’ve been there, any food you have eaten has been eaten in between what little sleep you’re getting.”

“Not gettin’ much ‘f either at the momen’.” Daryl mutters. “Lydia was up most of the nigh’ sick again. Probably will be again t’night. The only time she settles is when I hold her.”

“Yeah Sophia was like that.” Carol nods, taking a bite of her own sandwich.”

“I’m usually pretty strict ‘bout everyone sleepin’ in their own bed but I can’t bring myself t’ say no right now.”

“Sophia only slept with me when she was sick too.” Carol nods. “I was always bad at saying ‘no’ while she was sick, but they do need some semblance of structure and routine.”

“Yeah.” Daryl nods taking a swig of his coke. “Tha’s gonna be hard, I know when we get home an’ she’s safe an’ secure again she’s gonna lash out an’ stuff, but I’m gonna have a damn hard time keeping boundaries.”

“I did too.” Carol nods. “Sophia was processing a lot at her diagnosis - our living situation had changed, I left her dad, it was a nightmare.” Silence hangs between them. “Have they said when you’re going home?”

“Hopefully sometime next week.” Daryl mutters.

“Okay.” Carol nods. “Lori and I are going to get the house ready for you okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Carol sighs. “You’ll need some things, medical supplies, pill organizers, hand sanitizer, bedding. Something I like to do for the families here is help get their house ready to be home again.”

“You don’-” He stops, seeming to take what they’d said earlier in. “Thanks Carol.”

“It’s why I’m here.” She says, taking a bite of her own sandwich. “No one was for Sophia and I and I’m not gonna let that happen to anyone.”

“Her dad a dick?” The blunt way he says it makes her raise her eyebrows. “Sorry.” He mutters sheepishly. “I uh - I shouldn’ ha-“

“It’s fine.” She says quickly. “He uh - he was yeah. I left because I thought he hurt our little girl.” The words tumble out before she can stop them and she blinks, stunned at herself. She never spoke of Ed. She never spoke of why she was single. She left it at messy divorce and that was that.

“Shit.” Daryl mutters.

“Yeah.” Carol nods.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Nah.” He shakes his head. “It ain’. Ain’ nothing I can say gonna make it okay neither.”

There’s that blunt honesty again. Harsh, but welcome. No ‘I’m so sorry that happened’ or ‘you’re so strong’ just ‘ain’ nothing I can say gonna make it okay neither.’

“You’re special victims yeah?” Carol asks.

“Yeah.” Daryl nods.

“So I guess you’ve seen some of that.” She nods.

“Yeah.”

Silence hangs between them again.

“Thanks.” He says. “Fer all yer doin’ fer Lydia an’ I.”

“You don’t need to thank me, I’ve walked this path before. A little closer then I’d like, so if you need anything or just want some adult conversation just call.” Carol says.

“I- yeah, I will.” Daryl nods. “I uh, didn’ mean t’ scare ya this mornin’ if I did. I jus’ - you’re the only person I could think of to call.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” She smiles, reaching across the table and squeezing his hand. “You’re a good dad Daryl, and you’re gonna get through this.” Her attempt at a reassuring smile falls a little flat, because this time she’s not telling the entire truth. He will get through it, but Lydia? She was a different story all together, one with possibilities no parent wants to face.

[hotsayce]

The Lake

NCT fanfic - 3.4k - Gender Neutral- A group of friends go to their nearby lake to hang out:)

Warnings: Drowning is mentioned but don't worry! No one actually drowns, the narrator just can't swim and is scared. Sex is also mentioned. Alcohol.

Author's Note: This is written in first person but the narrator is referred to as Y/N. Johnny and Ten aren't THAT important in the story, it's mostly the narrator and Mark.

~~~

It was almost time.

My friends and I were getting ready to go to the lake for a celebration.

Though the only thing worth celebrating was that Mark was finally graduating high school. He was the baby of our group. Ten and I were both 20, Johnny was 22 and Mark was just 18. We all started being friends in high school, I met Ten in dance class and Johnny in chorus my freshman year. We adopted Mark during my junior year though. We noticed some random kid sitting alone at lunch most every day. Nothing wrong with that, I myself sat alone sometimes during my freshman year. But this was different. Another group of kids began to sit with him, we thought he finally found his crowd. Until one week, Mark's little table was empty. We just assumed he was sick or something, until it lasted the whole week. We didn't have any classes with him and we had never spoken to him so there was no way to know what happened. The next Monday, Johnny just so happened to stop by the bathroom during lunch and saw poor Mark sitting on the (disgusting) bathroom floor, crying and eating alone. Then he brought him to sit with us. The rest is history.

Not really, I've never had a history class with any of them.

But that brings us to tonight, I am just about to open the door to leave my dorm room when my roommate asks, "Where are you going?"

Dangn't. I had been trying my best not to wake them up but I failed. Like always.

"Just out with some friends." I answer in the most calm way possible.

Adrian isn’t a snitch or anything, I just don’t want them knowing my business. We were never really that close.

"Okay," They roll back over in their bunkbed, facing the wall.

I almost slip out of the door when they ask, "What time will you be back?"

"Before 5."

They roll over again. "Okay, just be more quiet when you sneak back in please."

They must be referring to the time I came in at 6 A.M. and my morning alarm started blaring. I kept trying to push the off button but my screen was too cracked for me to press it. They'll never let me live that down.

I slip out of the door and am on my way to the bathroom. I don’t need to think of a plan to get out or anything, my Resident Advisor doesn’t care if we leave during the night. Ten wouldn't have such an easy time though, I hear the advisor at his dorm is more strict.

I finally step outside of my building only to notice that Ten beat me here.

"How'd you get past your RA?"

He laughs. "It's easy to reason with someone you've slept with."

"Gross." I shove him to the side. Not gross, quite cool actually. I was very jealous. Ten's RA was drop dead gorgeous and the amount of times I asked him if I could sleep over to see if they'd stop by his room is far too many to count.

We were on our way to Johnny's place to go chill at the lake behind his house. He went to the same college as Ten and I but he lived at home with his parents. I would too if they were as loaded as his family, not to mention they live pretty close to school. A walk was only 35 minutes away which never seemed like much if you walked with other people.

Walking to Johnny's was normally silent when I went by myself but that was never the case with Ten. He always had some cool college story to tell, we were both juniors but his experience seemed much more interesting that mine. Whether he was spilling gossip about the dance team or who he'd been flirting with during his most recent seminar, it was always something eventful.

"What college do you think Mark will choose?" Ten asks.

Woah. That's a much different direction from where he normally goes.

"Why such a somber question to start the night? (morning actually) I wanna know if anything new has happened between Veronica and Tamika?" I try changing the subject. Veronica and Tamika were two girls in his dance class who had supposedly been best friends since their freshman year. Everyone knew they liked each other but neither of them had ever asked the other out.

"Seriously Y/N. What if he doesn't come to our school?"

"Well," I normally try not to think about what would happen if Mark left the country for college. "Then we'll video chat with him every week and text him all the time and he'll come home each summer."

Ten doesn’t look at me but I know that this is eating him up.

It'd been eating all of us up. Johnny, Ten, and I had all gone to GC State for our own separate reasons and we were hoping Mark would too but he had his eyes set on an arts school in Vancouver. He was born in Canada so it would mean so much to him to move back there for college but he didn't want to leave his friends (us).

"I just don't want us to split up. We were gonna be his older college buddies." It was dark out but I could still see the frown on Ten's face.

I put my arm around his shoulder. "He still has about a month left, we don't know what he's going to pick. And whichever school he does choose, we'll support him."

Ten sighs. "I guess your right. We don't where he'll go yet but we have to be happy for him."

I nod my head and continue walking beside him.

"Oh and Ica-Ika is never gonna work out." 'Ica-Ika' was a cute ship name Ten and I made for Veronica and Tamika. "Imagine being a senior in college and still being too nervous to confess to your crush."

I raise my eyebrow at him. "You're one to talk."

"Look. I've got one more year. Quit rushing me."

I laugh at Ten. He's had a crush on Johnny since high school but has never told him. At this rate he never will.

~~~

We finally arrive at Johnny's house. He has that type of house that you have to drive down to since it's off by itself. The three story ones with the huge yards. The house where everybody wants to be and where all the parties were. Not to mention the lake in the back. I was surprised when I found out that Johnny was an only child. Why would their family need such a big house if there were just 3 of them? But it's not my place to judge what other people do with their hard earned money.

Johnny's car is the only one in the driveway so his parents aren't home. Ten and I don't bother walking through the front door, we walk straight to the back and find Mark sitting in a lawn chair and Johnny standing right beside him.

Johnny had always taken a liking to Mark ever since he found him in the bathroom. Not in the cliché high school relationship type of way though, Johnny was not a creepy senior guy on the varsity football team and Mark was not an innocent freshman girl who had 'developed' over the summer. They were 4 years apart but the way they act, you'd think they were the exact same age. Except they don't look the same age. Johnny was tall (a giant really) with long brown hair. Between his extroverted personality and his beefy arms, he had all the girls, guys, and honestly anyone with eyes after him. Mark was... not like Johnny. He was much smaller with short black hair and I'm sure people would be after him if he wasn't so darn oblivious to everyone who wants him. It's like he was waiting for someone special to come along and ask him out but who knows when that will happen?

"You're finally here!" Johnny turned at the sound of our footsteps and came up to hug us. He always gave great hugs.

"Now the party can start!" I say while Ten and Johnny hug for a second too long.

Mark gets up to hug us as well and we make our way to the lake, although he lingers to walk beside me instead of with Johnny and Ten.

~~~

"Have you decided which college you're going to yet?" I glare at Ten from my chair and Johnny does the same.

"You haven't even gotten him to drink yet and you're already asking him important questions? What am I teaching you Ten?" Johnny takes another swig of his own glass of wine. He's the only person who would bring fancy glasses and expensive wine to hang out at the lake with his friends at 3 A.M.

"I can't drink yet Johnny." Mark says.

Johnny winks at him. "Riiight."

I laugh as I drink from my own glass. "There's no rush in your decision Mark. We'll be happy with whatever you choose."

Everyone was silent as we all thought about what Mark's decision would be. Our guess was as good as his.

"C'mon guys no being sad at our celebration." Johnny jumps up from his seat. "To the lake!"

He begins walking to the lake, Ten close on his heels cheering. I get up from my seat to follow them but notice Mark still sulking in his chair. He must still be thinking about college. No doubt he has exams soon, he has this big decision to add on top of it all.

I walk over to Mark and grab his hand, motioning for him to walk with us.

When we get to the lake, the rest of the guys rid themselves of their shirts while Mark keeps his on. I opt to keep my shirt on as well, I don't plan on swimming today.

"You're not gonna swim?" Mark takes his shoes off, preparing to get in the water.

"No, not today." I sit down on the dock and stick my feet in the cool water.

Instead of getting in the water like Ten and Johnny, Mark sits down beside me. "I won't swim either then."

There's no use in telling him to go ahead and swim. He hates for any one of us to be left out so he'll stay with me no matter how much I protest.

The sadness in Mark's eyes from earlier disappears once he looks at the lake. His expression when he looks at the water makes it seem like he's never seen a lake like this before. He's always loved coming here. Johnny would sometimes pick him up after school when he had the time so they could just sit here at the lake and talk about anything. It was like his safe place. He wouldn't have the lake in Vancouver.

"Were you being serious earlier?" The reflection of the moon is still in his eyes but the sadness is back.

"Serious about what?" I say as I flick my feet in the water.

"When you guys said you'd support me. No matter what college I go to. You won't leave like-"

"No Mark," I stop him before he can even finish. "We won't leave you. It doesn't matter how far we are, we'll always be friends okay?"

He doesn't say anything but I know he understands. Ever since those kids ditched him in high school, he's had trust issues about people leaving him. There were so many people that tried to be friends with him but he always pushed them away because he thought they'd do the same. Sure he talks to some people at school, but his only real friends are all in college. I can't imagine how lonely that must feel.

I try to lighten the mood. "Hey Buddy," I say jokingly.

"Oh no, not buddy."

I place my arms around Mark's shoulders. "You know you're getting older and your life is changing..."

He then rips my arm from his shoulder laughing, "What is this?"

I grab his arm once again. "I'm just trying to tell you about college because you're a growing boy."

"Are you trying to give me the talk? Because I've had it before."

I turn and face him. "You've had sex before?!"

"What no! I meant the talk!"

I sigh out of relief. "Phew. Good. I couldn't believe you had never told me."

We both laugh until it gets quiet.

"You never told me whether you've had sex before."

He was not wrong. Johnny and Ten talked about their 'partners' all the time but I've never mentioned it because I've never been with anyone like that. I've always been waiting for the right time but it was really just me being cautious and refusing to have my first time in a cramped college dorm. No one (near my age) had caught my interest and, unfortunately, Johnny never volunteered so I've just been saving myself up I guess.

"That is correct." I don't know what Mark is getting at but I just keep letting him talk.

"Well do you thin-"

Before he can finish his sentence, I feel a splash of water hit me. Ten and Johnny float in the water in front of us with two big grins on their faces.

"Hey spoilsports, come swim with us." Johnny hits us with another splash and Mark jumps in to go play with them. Thank God. I was not about to let Mark down and tell him that I won't have sex with him during his last year of high school. There is nothing wrong with Mark except for how he is basically still a child and as (or even more) inexperienced as I am.

The guys stay near my area so I can still splash them from sitting down. Except it's mostly them cheating because whenever I throw water at them, they just duck under the surface whereas I have to stay up here and get wet.

By the time we're done, I'm soaking wet and Ten and Johnny have swam out again. Mark almost joins them but swims back to me.

"How come you aren't swimming with us?"

The word 'swim' is incorrect in this situation. He knows I can't swim. Normally, when we go to the lake, I lazy around in a floatie but I just don't feel like it right now.

"Mark, you know I can't swim."

"Well yeah," He flips his hair back and unintentionally sprays me with more water. "But we all can."

I'm sorry. I think he's failed to understand the concept of 'me not being able to swim = me drowning.'

Before I can inform him of that, Johnny and Ten come swimming towards us with a weird look in their eyes. When they get up on the dock, they shake their hair out as well, getting me wet again and then Johnny grabs Ten's hand and begins leading him back to the house.

"Where are you two going?" I question and they just giggle.

"Johnny wants to show me his room." Ten smiles up at the older and they're still walking away from us.

Mark calls out after them, "But we've all already seen his room!" They keep laughing, hand in hand, walking back to the house to do who knows what except we all know exactly what they're doing and I curse them in my head for setting up such a venereal tone in the air.

"What are they doing?" Mark looks up at me with the most oblivious look in his eyes.

"Sex."

"Gross."

Again, not gross. Very jealous.

I wish the moonlight and calm lake were not making the environment so romantic right now. Not to mention the text from Ten that says, 'Don't bother us. Go bang Mark :)'

Although that sounds very tempting, I will not be a senior in high school's, first time. Or let him be my first time.

"I can hold you if you're still afraid of swimming." Mark's quiet voice interrupts my thoughts.

"What?"

"We were talking about swimming earlier. If you're okay with it, I can just hold you in the water. I won't let go."

I get another text from Ten. 'Don't see any banging yet :(' I look up to the window of Johnny's bedroom and see a silhouette of them standing there. Mark waves at them and I can't see that far but I can tell that they're smiling before they close the curtain.

I put my phone away and respond to Mark. "It's really okay. You don't have to do that."

He moves from leaning on the dock beside me to being right in front of me, laying his hands on my knees.

"I pinky promise you'll be safe. Please swim with me."

Once again, the reflection of the moon does me dirty, illuminating the sincerity in Mark's eyes. I can't say no. (I absolutely could but I won't)

I take a deep breath. "Okay." I don't bother removing my shirt since he didn't either. Mark places his hands lightly around my waist and begins pulling me down into the water.

"Don't drop me." I say. I've done this before but with Johnny and he's much bigger and stronger than Mark so I can't say that I'm not a little worried he won't be able to carry me.

Mark just smiles and pulls me down until I'm no longer on the dock.

My first instinct is to immediately flail because I believe I will sink all the way to the bottom of the lake but Mark's grip on me tightens, obviously noticing how my body tensed up when I got into the water.

"I got you." He doesn't let me go as promised and we stay close to the dock, my back against the wood.

"See. All safe."

Being in the water isn't as scary as I thought it would be. I'm glad Mark is here with me. And I'm glad that we didn't leave the dock, giving me the option to change my mind and climb back up if I want to.

"What are you thinking?" He asks.

I haven't spoken since I got in the water. Maybe it's the calmness of the lake itself or the fact that Mark is holding me, but I can't think of anything to say.

"Nothing really." I feel the urge to wrap my legs around Mark's waist but I fight against it.

"Well I'm thinking of us."

I smile, staring at the moon. "Yeah. I really enjoy hanging out at the lake with you guys every once in a while.

"No Y/N." I look over at him. "I mean us. This."

I shake my head. There's always been something between us but it was so minute that we never spoke of it. "There is no this Mark. You know that. We both know that."

"Do we really?"

The water around us seems so still. The only movement is from our too close together chests, rising and falling at the same time. My eyes drift to his lips and I can't help but wonder how they would feel against my own.

Mark notices me staring, closes his eyes, and leans in but right when our lips almost touch, I turn my head to the side. His lips graze my cheek which is better than nothing I suppose. As much as my heart wants to, I cannot kiss him and add on to the already long list of reasons he would rather stay here than go to Vancouver. A kiss would only hold him back even more and I know how much he wants to leave.

"I'm sorry Mark." I lean my head into the nook of his neck hoping he won't push me away after what I just did. I don't want this to be awkward but I tighten my grip on his shoulders, not wanting to rid myself of his touch just yet.

"I understand." I want him to pull my face back up and tell me all the thoughts he's had about us. I want him to try to kiss me again, and this time I may kiss him right back. But he doesn't. Instead, his hold on my waist never loosens or falters even though I know his arms and whole body must be tired from swimming for so long.

I hope what we have won't falter either.

~~~

Sometimes when Mark calls me and I hear everything he's been doing and everyone he's been talking to, I wish I would've kissed him back at the lake. The people in Vancouver sound really pretty. And he always sounds really happy. What would've changed if I did kiss him? Maybe he would have went to college here and then we could be a cute couple like Ten and Johnny. But there's no telling what would happen. I just know that I'll always have a best friend halfway across the world.

But hey, there's always summer break.