#they/them is understandable but if yk my pronouns and still use them id hate it

[speakofthedebbie]

i have such a visceral reaction to he/him pronouns its so charming

[kawaiibarty]

UMMM if this is not an intrusive question, could you pls explain the process of you transitioning? Like whatever made you feel you were with the wrong body? And how did it bother you sm? This is plain curiosity. If u wish pls help me understand.

ahhhh hi hi it's not intrusive at all!

so for me it was really something that took time for me to understand because i didn't know that people were allowed to feel different yk

when i was a child i wore boys clothes because it made me feel happy, during playtime i called dibs on the boy characters, my avatars in video games were exclusively male.

i felt really uncomfortable wearing certain things like skirts and certain shirts and even different types of shoes. my mom said i was really picky and difficult about it lol.

for a while i sort of started wearing skirts and stuff, around 11 to 13 yrs old but, idk it was an odd period for me. i just wanted to be someone my mother liked yk. anyway, for most of my schooling id been in an all girls school up until gr7 when i moved cross country and schools. this new school was co-ed and it was really weird because i felt excluded a lot of the time because i wasn't...yk i didn't act like most of the girls and the people i thought id fit in with didn't like the way i did things LOL. i just felt alienated and like an imposter because i wasn't doing....girl right? iykwim

then i went to highschool a year later and i was shoved back into an all girls class for two years where i realised i properly like girls, except i thought i was homophobic because i didn't like the lesbian label or the bisexual label even though id tried out both at some point. it was like, i know i like girls and i haven't liked a guy properly but that doesn't make me lesbian because...but what if it does because im a girl, right? (spoiler alert, i do like guys and i realised that i could use the label queer without it being a slur also cue asexuality)

anyway, i was introduced to non-binary and it was a reaaaal relief. im telling you, once i was seen as something that wasn't an uncomfortable little girl it was good. but it still didn't feel right so i toyed around with androgyny except i didn't like how uncertain it made me feel yk?

im not saying that people who are enby or androgynous are wholly uncertain but i didn't want to feel like a poseur because i KNEW what i wanted but i didn't know if it was real.

i dont remember when this happened but somebody introduced me to he/they and they/he pronouns and i grasped onto that and it was okay for a while. still didn't feel like i was going it right because i had long hair and wore skirts and was still called a girl or non-binary and i hated my name and everything about the uncertainty yk? like it just came back out of nowhere

then one day this little boy comes up to me, i kid you not it's a CORE MEMORY for me, but this kid approaches me and he's like "are you a boy or a girl" and i start panicking because im not a girl and i hate being a girl and im not a boy because...i mean i don't even look like one right? so i ask him "what do you think i am?" and he says, without even thinking about "you look like a boy. i think you're a boy." and

yk, ive never smiled so wide in my life. i told him "yeah you're right" and he FISTBUMPS ME and im all giddy and excited and i text my best friend @d-rxse and im like OMGOMG YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED DUDE anyway that was three years ago

then i got moved to a co-ed class

it kind of went to shit after that because as soon as i came out as trans i got a new boyfriend and he had never dated a trans person before so for a while he used he/they pronouns for me and we called each other boyfriends up until maybe april of last year where he told me he was uncomfortable with it

so i was an idiot and threw away all my progress and said "you can call me your gf and use they/them pronouns and she/her in front of your friends" and yeah 👍🏼 progress gone. down the drain.

i fixed it tho, by the end of last year i was so done with his bullshit, i broke up with him a week after school started this year, cut my hair short, changed my name, pronouns and got a new phone. cut him out of my life completely. ive never been happier

[problematicfactive]

Look what I got (there's no way I can image ID all of this, I'm sorry)

My name, as well as the name of the person I explained faitive to has been censored.

Here are direct receipts of what happened. It's still on the server so you can see for yourself

So that's the literal action of what got me banned

Here's what they said about me after I left. Inactive 4 now is the person who wrote the manipulative little vent that I dissected here

My pronouns don't have anything to do with the situation, they're just reaching for shit to make fun of me for now

I use my name and an icon of myself because those are the only things that ground me as a person. I dont enjoy or have any sort of connection to killing people, I dont lay in my bed and think about it and smile. But having a name and an apicture of myself makes me feel like a real person. It does make my smile. My bot makes me happy every time I see it.

"Kin hate" implyong they dont even know what the fuck thyre doing

By this servers definitions, nobody should be allowed to use a proxy bot. The point of a bot is to showcase yourself as who you are. You don't have to use your own face as a faceclaim or use your own name, but many chose to.

If you cannot use your bot to showcase yourself, there is no point in having it. And another person's triggers are not your responsibility. For the victims and their families, yes, but these people don't give a shit about the victims and their families, they aren't mentioned once. But if you're triggered over a picture of Disney actor Ross Lynch and a name that an estimated 1,150,000 people in the US ALONE have, that is your issue.

To say if your name or pfp makes someone uncomfortable you SHOULD have to change it is the most shitty entitled mess I've ever heard in my life bro.

We're auditioning for a character named Nathan. Nathan is a trigger word for oneof the hosts exes because he had a really really horrible experience with a guy with that name. I'm so, genuinely sorry it happened, but I am not going to demand the characters name be changed became it makes someone uncomfortable.

We have cynohobia. I'm not affected and actually really like dogs, but imagery of dogs make the whole really uncomfortable. We don't ask people to change their dog alter pfp, we just don't interact with them.

I'm also really interested in the "being interested in a story (is not equal to) needing to have an entire fictive/factive" what they're saying seems to be that its fine to enjoy the story of the person for the fun of it, but not fine to gain a factive of it, meaning they believe you can chose who you do and don't introject, which is interesting to me as this was a truamagenic only space. Especially because they "understand having fixated and spliting" because introjects only form from hyperfixations, not truama.

Their rules were not changed and so nowhere in their server does it say problematic factives are not allowed and you can see easily where they broke their own rules

(I dont have enough room to show a picture but it's a public server just join if you wanna see)

And, yk, unrelated, but since you wanna jab at my pronouns, these are your roles.

N knee Wayz I'm in that server on my alt now if you wanna join n chat (alts are against the rules but I think the rules are just for show)

"Our goal is to make each and every system feel welcomed"

I just got kicked from a server for existing lmao

"Our goal is to make each and every system feel welcomed"

Here's what went down :)

I joined and said "hey there" I proxied and engaged in the beginnings of a little conversation with someone

Someone else responds to my message and asks if I am a factive on insert person

I explain that im technically a faitive, explain to someone who was confused what a faitive is. I clarify my connection to source and don't get a response from the person who was asked.

My boyfriend has a bot on discord as well and I like for him the be able to use it so I clarify that there's another one of us and I need to know if that's not okay. After a little, someone responds "Yes, get help." And I'm BANNED

IN A SERVER FOR TRUAMAGENIC SYSTEMS ONLY LMFAO THIS IS THE TRUAMA RESPONCE

They did not have a rule against problematic factives and they did have a rule saying not to hate and judge people on their source. Here's what they said after I was banned

I censored my name, sorry.

"Our goal is to make each and every system feel welcomed"

[zemnarihah]

i've been having. gender issues i must say