#they weren't a chore to sit through or anything like that. i wouldn't even call them slow. i like much slower things

[lewyn-martell]

kinda want to say what i think would have made for a more satisfying ending of this season for me specifically. just this once and then put this to rest. the crux of my only problem with it, even though i find it beautiful and romantic, is that innie mark choosing helly is like fork spotted in kitchen or something. an emotional beat pretty much identical to every choice he has been making for a long while now doesn’t fully work for me, it doesn’t give that impact, it doesn’t have that oomph. this is the emotional climax of the season, the moment that should have the weight of a thousand suns. every beautiful thing people are saying that this moment represents, which i agree, was already true before in a pretty glaring, obvious way. i know many people are happy because of what this moment unambiguously shows people who weren’t getting that this is the markhelly show, but like. those people have been watching the show with both eyes closed. helly has been the center and the most important person of innie mark’s life since season 1. since the moment she was BORN. he has no feelings for gemma, especially with reintegration not impacting much of anything except for a few memory flashes. in what world would he not choose helly? especially when his life is at a threat of ending the moment he walks through that door?

to get to what i actually wish would have happened, i’d have to start from the start: they should not have made the helena-as-helly thing a secret. maybe for a scene or two would be grand, but we should then have been with her all the way. we would get more of her character and her POV, we would be rooting for her NOT to be found out if they constructed the stakes carefully enough which would be a win for conflict – we’d learn to be on her side as much as the innie’s in a pretty entertaining way. it would also make the helena/innie mark romance hit even more (and even maybe feel less of a violation when we get to see them having sex because we would have seen them falling in love from a Real and True viewpoint of sorts – i mean, the optics of what happened in the show are not exactly a problem for me, but to have actual journalists jump to call her a lying using scheming rapist was probably not what they had in mind and what they were hoping to convey with the scene). being used to her viewpoint, it would feel more horrifying when we get to irving torturing her to get helly to come out (i still don’t really like that scene asnkjasn). and she should be the one to have control over the switch. it would take milchick out of the picture since he should be stopping anything like that pretty quickly. but if it’s only scared inexperienced innies whose feelings are hurt from their friend lying to them all this time (and they should have shown plenty of them actually growing as friends, same as the markhelena romance), it would make it extremely more believable in a more drawn-out scene (maybe even have mark be pinned down by dylan because come on nknsask he would not stand there) and that could also be really good to show the military man coming out of irving. maybe that would stretch our empathy for them, but i mean, interrogation and a bit of torture done by buffoons can even be kinda funny kasjnk i think they could make that work. as for helena, she would be fighting for the person she is that gets to be in love with mark and to have these friends and new dynamics and new perspective and it would be a very interesting thing considering an organic reintegration is one of the key things happening to her this season. with a simple interrogation we could have so much gold in terms of her psychology and maybe the turn back could even be partly an important choice out of love for mark or even respect for what they feel towards her and her innie.

then helly would return and mark would have to deal with this uncomfortable meeting of two worlds, of having fallen for her outie, of not being able to trust and feeling tricked in a more seamless and richer way than one episode he’s out and in the next one he’s in again. because, and this is the most important bit, the reintegration should already be kicking in. by god, they should have taken this plot more seriously. it would feel even more monumental because his worlds are also uncomfortably meeting without his permission. and it would add another dimension to the markhelly rift of the mid-season because outie mark has plenty of reasons to HATE helena eagan and innie mark could be feeling some of that bleeding out. and speaking of outie mark: at this point he should already have met helena at the restaurant and then be hit by the truth that his innie is in love with her. to make things even more interesting, he should try to leverage this tenuous connection he is definitely angry about having with her to try and find out things about gemma, and that would easily give us more outie mark and helena scenes of a more antagonistic, thrilling nature where feelings start surging where they are not supposed to, to mirror the illicit nature of their innies' love affair.

so reintegrating-mark inside lumon, where probably his innie part would have more of the wheel, (my opinion is that he should have had a lot of different “blending states”) would be falling in love with helly all over again while they mend their rift in their teenage romance era and one part of outie mark would have no choice but be aware of it. of maybe not even knowing where his innie’s choices end and his begin. and that baggage he would take to any meetings with outie helly (who, imo, should be pretty conflicted about what exactly she helps mark with or not. should have an excuse to do it just enough to keep him in her orbit and say it’s for the sake of keeping him at lumon, but still have some wiggle room) and their bond would be weird and amorphous, but would be there. and then. THEN. this all leads to our final moments. outie mark should have most of the wheel as a manifestation of a deep desire to find gemma or something. he should get to have that and have his meeting with her after so long. exceptttt that part of him that should only be loyal to gemma turns back for helly (who maybe should be more explicitly at the threat being eliminated after this). out of an impulse of valuing her and valuing the feelings his innie contributes to his whole self. THAT WOULD GAG ME. that would do it FOR REAL. it would still feel understandable that he is expected to go back to gemma when the clock strikes 5 and the work hours are done. but at these moments, during these (final?) hours, idk, he feels like he belongs to helly(na).

[ifonlyyuweremine]

Call of Christmas

Aka the holiday season with 141

COD characters x F reader (One shots!) + smut

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Captain John Price smut

You hurriedly raced through chores, much like being put on a continuous autopilot. Throw the tabs of detergent into the laundry while making sure to separate the light and dark clothes. Put the leftover dishes from the sink inside the dishwasher, vacuum up the collecting fuzz that started to gather on the carpet, and so on.

However, the most important task was yet to be done. Pushed to the edge of your to-due list and collect dust.

Wrapping the presents.

Dear lord. Where would you even start, not only was gift wrapping the most tedious task on earth but most of the time it had a 98% chance of going wrong.

How could such a jolly and festive activity as simply wrapping a gift turn into the worst part of the holiday season? In your case, surprisingly easily.

It was a guessing game on your part, to figure out which wrapping paper to adorn a present in (different wrapping paper for different people of course). Cut the perfect measurements for said gift, and wrap it in some way that would look presentable.

Almost every time you would screw up the last two steps, the cutting and wrapping. You would either cut way too much paper or not enough to cover the gift. And when you finally did get an acceptable length the paper would fold every which way and the tape wouldn't hold it down.

Now, why not go with the simple fix of putting it inside of a gift bag? The short answer was that it was the lazy man's way out.

And this year you were determined to make it work. Your husband John always teased you about your passion for the holidays, but what could you say? You were a driven woman.

So you found yourself near the end of the day sitting inside the living room of your house. A diverse spread of gifts scattered around you beside poles of wrapping paper, tape, scissors, and rulers.

The soft thrum of Christmas music playing in the background for motivation. You were especially proud of the gifts you had gotten this year. One for each of your friends, close family, and John. Having a good gift for him was something to behold on its own. Gift shopping for the man was like pulling out teeth.

“Why would I want anything? I pretty much have everything I need…”

“I’m okay love, don't bother with me…”

“I don't want anything, maybe some socks or something…”

John's words echoed in your ear, but you weren't giving up that easily. This year, you landed on a nice silver watch with a leather band. The one he wore was…distressed to say the least.

So, this seemed like a great choice. You smiled down at the small box that held his new watch. John would love anything you got him, even if it was a scrap of metal he would give you his teddy bear smile and shower you with praise.

But this year you were particularly proud of your choice.

And with the newfound motivation you started on wrapping. You did your best to cut accurate ratios of paper to present, fold it as crisply as you could, and tape it down so it stuck. Somehow, by the grace of God, you found yourself getting into a sort of rhythm.

You looked at work after an hour in, in awe of the fact that it wasn't that bad. Actually, it was nearly perfect! These looked like real gifts, like the ones you'd see in those Christmas catalogs sitting under an 11-foot-tall tree.

You smiled, only one gift left to go. Lo and behold it was John’s gift. The small blue box that hid his watch, looked so menial. You sighed and stretched, easy peasy.

Or so you thought.

That little blue box might as well have been possessed by a Christmas-hating demon.

You huffed, silently cursing at yourself as you accidentally ripped the wrapping paper while you were trying to tape it down. This had been your fifth attempt at wrapping his gift, and every time something had gone wrong.

You stared down at it in disbelief, nearly in tears of frustration. There the box sat, laughing at your feeble attempts at wrapping it.

Just as you were about to go for attempt number six, you heard the chime of the front door opening. It was John.

Like a flash, you pushed the box under the couch until it was out of sight. It was a surprise after all. Just as you turned back around John appeared in all his glory. Slack jeans with his cotton t-shirt and his ruggedly handsome face. His eyebrows raised at the scene before him.

“Love, I think you're supposed to wrap the gifts, not get into a fight with them.” He said, bemused.

You felt your already hot cheeks redden, looking at the mess of wrapping paper around you. It did kind of look like a war scene with the addition of glitter and ribbon. Letting out an exasperated sigh you looked back up at him. “Would you believe me if I told you they started it?”

John's lips curved up into a soft smile that raised his mutton chops. And you couldn't help your heart from swooning at the way his mustache smiled with him. He chuckled and stepped into the room, crouching in front of you to slide a hand across your cheek. Pulling you in for a warm, chaste kiss. Your frustration slightly ebbed away, yet the lingering annoyance remained. John seemed to notice it and gave you a funny look as he pulled away.

“What's wrong?” He said knowing.

Curse him, he knew you too well. You knew giving him a bad lie wouldn't do much so you sighed. “It’s the gifts, I was doing so well wrapping everything but I got to yours and it didn't seem to want to cooperate with me. And well, you can see how it played out.” You breathed, nodding to the mess around you.

John raised an eyebrow, “why not just give it to me as is?” He asked, confused. To which you rolled your eyes as his practicality, typical.

“That’s not the point. Making presents look nice is a labor of love, it shows I care to make it look presentable.” You defended your point, making him shake his head and smile warmly. A fondness in his eyes as he looked at you.

“Baby, you know I know that you care about me. I don't need wrapping paper to prove that.” He said, his other hand guiding yours to his mouth to press his lips over your ring.

You pursed your lips in a tight line, trying not to let him melt your resolve into a sappy puddle. “Yeah, but it's still a nice gesture.” You grumbled, eyes darting away from his gaze.

You heard the familiar thrum of his laugh echo in your ears. You turned your eyes back to look at him as he pressed a kiss to your temple, “Thank you for trying love. You know I’d like anything you’d give me. But having you is all I need.” You couldn't help the smile that crept up on your cheeks.

For being such an intimidating person and having the reputation he did, he could really be a sap sometimes. Not that you'd have it any other way. His loving nature was a gift in itself.

You hummed and leaned in to kiss him again, his lips meeting yours in a soft embrace. Slowly you pulled him in, hands snaking around his neck to cup the back of his head. He tasted of tobacco and whiskey, not the bitter kind, but the warm fragrant kind. Almost like a spicy cocktail, one that burned at first sip but settled in your stomach.

It was almost second nature when you kissed him. Like your body craved the feeling of being fitted against his larger form. And when his tongue slid over your bottom lip, practically begging for entrance, you had no choice but to oblige.

The soft hum of Christmas jazz still lulled in the background, dulling your senses like sweet syrup. John’s tongue delved into your mouth, the slow rhythmic motion of his lips turning the thoughts in your head to static. His large hands slowly traveled down to your waist, his thumb pressing against the bone of your hip. Without warning his hands suddenly airlifted you up and onto the couch. You gave a small squeak of surprise, breaking the kiss.

“John wha-” You were cut off by another steaming kiss.

After a minute he pulled away, hot breath fanning against your lips. “You were working so hard, figured I'd give you a thank you.” His sly smile told you everything you needed to know. And if they didn’t, the way his hands slid down to grope on your ass did.

Your cheeks burned, and another type of heat bellowed in your stomach. Sending small sparks across your spine. “It's just wrapping a gift, and I didn't even finish yours.” You said sheepishly.

John rolled his eyes, his head dipping down to trail kisses over your neck. “What was it you said before? That it’s about the gesture or principle of it all?” He murmured, large hands kneading your behind. His words made your lips turn up into a smile. To be honest…you could use a break, and this opportunity was one you’d never turn down.

A small giggle escaped you, rolling your eyes at his persistence. “I guess I’ll take that ‘thank you’ then.”

Turning his head back up, he gave you a wolfish grin. The large hands that previously held your behind slid up to hook the hem of your top. With one fluid movement, he coaxed your arms above your head and slipped your blouse off. Then with just as much sneakiness, he undid the clasp of your bra. Tossing the offending garment somewhere else in the room.

Without a moment to lose, his mouth was on your breasts. You shuddered at his warm wet tongue and the way it danced around your nipple. The scruff of his facial hair tickles Your chest.

Your hands threaded into his hair, pulling and guiding him where you wanted. With every small tug or grasp he groaned, enthralled by the way you led him. From where you were sitting, John knelt at the edge of the couch between your spread legs. Hands gripping at your hips as he suckled at your peaks. “So beautiful baby-” He rasped, “-fucking love this gorgeous body.”

Your lips pushed into a tight line, exhaling through your nose. John’s hands migrated down to grab onto your pants, tugging them down slowly. You helped him slip them off until the only thing covering you was your cotton panties. An embarrassingly obvious wet patch now soaking through its fabric.

John’s thumb gently grazed over your clothed center. Earning a soft moan on your part, the pad of his finger sending a jolt of heat through you. His navy eyes flickered up to you as his thumb slowly circled your covered clit. “Tell me what you want sweetness.” He murmured.

You had trouble processing his words for a moment. “I want your fingers, John.” You breathed, looking down at the man on his knees for you.

The corner of his lip turned up, “Yes mam.” Slowly he pulled your panties to the side, exposing your glistening core. You saw his adams apple bob as he stared at you, like he wanted to devour you alive.

With his middle and ring finger, he dragged them through your lips. Coating the skin in a layer of slick, the lewd sound of it makes your ears turn red. “Look at this wet pussy, so needy.” John gruffed. With no warning, he gently pushed his middle inside you. Your walls constricted around him like a hungry snake.

Your lips fell open in an ‘oh shape, whimpering at the burning goodness of his finger. “Fuckfuckfuck-” You panted, the muscles in your legs flexing as you tensed.

With ease, he pushed his ring finger into you as well. Falling into a slow rhythm of pumping his fingers in and out of you coupled with his thumb brushing over your clit. Your brain felt foggy, like how a bathroom mirror fogs up when you take a hot shower. John watched you like a hawk, studying your every movement to see if you were enjoying it.

“John, need your cock now.” You panted breathlessly, impatient for your husband. He gave you an amused look, keeping his fingers at a steady pace.

“You sure?” He asked, bemused. “-I can wait sweetheart.” But you shook your head, desperate for the stretch of his dick.

You blinked and gave him a look, “I'm not asking.” You replied. Making him chuckle, his fingers sliding out of you and leaving an empty feeling in their wake. He stood up, tugging off his shirt and unzipping his trousers. All the while, you watched like it was your favorite TV show. Your eyes drank in his muscles, he was built for fighting, that was for sure.

His pants shrugged down as he pulled his briefs away with it. His large bulbous cock sprang free, the sight almost making you drool. John smiled at you as he wrapped a calloused hand around it, stroking. “Makin’ me feel special when you look at me like that.” He said, giving his dick a few more pumps of his hand.

He nodded at you, “Go ahead and lay back, I want to look at your face when I make you cum.” He said, the words ringing in your ears. You tried not the let the giddy smile show on your face as you nodded and fell back against the cushions. Hastily, he climbed up on the couch, caging you in with his body. Hands planted on either side of your head.

He gave you a knowing smile before using one hand to guide his cock against your slit. Slowly dragging it up and down, making your breath hitch. Fireworks already going off inside your brain.

He leaned back a tad, using his other free hand to stroke your thigh, patting it lightly. “Come on, raise these for me love, want them on my shoulders.” You did as you were told, hiking your legs up on his shoulders. His head was encased by the meat of your thighs and the tip of his cock pushed against your aching hole.

With John’s guidance, he slowly pushed into you. The entrance of his thick cock fills up every crevice in your walls, making you moan. He was right there with you, “bloody hell-” he grit out. His voice was strained and thick like syrup.

“Tell me-” He panted, “-Tell me I can move. Please.” He breathed, voice barely above a whisper. You swallowed, your body burned and ached, yet it felt so good at the same time. And you craved more of it. So much more.

You nodded, “Yes, please.” Per your request, John slowly started to move his hips. His hands are placed on either side of your head and your thighs are locked around his head. The further he pushed into you the more you felt like being folded in half.

Slowly, his cock dragged in and out of your walls only to plunge back in. You moaned and threw your head back into the cushions, a shivering running through you. Every time his thick tip pressed against the spongy bundle of nerves deep inside you, your walls tightened as if to hold him in.

“Fuck, that's it- so tight and wet, like this pussy was made for me.” John groaned, steadily increasing the speed and force of his thrusts. Every time he pushed himself back in you felt like seeing stars. The delicious pleasure of feeling his girthy dick drag against your walls and stuff you full was something you could never get used to. Every time it felt a new shade of amazing.

Soon, his thrusts had gone from slow and drawn out to fast-paced slaps of skin against skin. Your hands dragged against his back, leaving trails of red lines in their wake.

A familiar coil began to burn in your stomach, tightening by the minute. Your head was swimming as you let him mold you to the shape of his cock. “John- can’t hold it, I'm gonna cum soon.” You sputtered.

His response was to only increase the force of his thrusts. Snaking a hand down to your clit and rubbing his thumb in circles around the sensitive bud. You jolted, clamping down around him which in turn caused him to twitch and pulse. “S’okay love I know, I'm right there with you. Let me make you cum, cum on my cock.” He moaned.

The white-hot pleasure turned to burning magma as he played with your clit. Waves of euphoria crashing down on you like a violent tide. Your pussy spasmed and your body went taunt like a bow. John fucked you through it until his orgasm took hold of him. His cock twitched and his hips stuttered, flooding your walls with thick ropes of cum. After a few more forceful thrusts he let up, holding you still as you both came down from the high.

A few seconds later he slid out of you, carefully lowering your legs off his shoulders. “Merry Christmas love.” He breathed with a wolfish smile, a hint of humor in his voice. You hummed, blinking your eyes open just as he pressed a warm kiss to your temple.

A soft chuckle escaped you, still caught in the afterglow. Your hands gently carded through his slightly tousled hair, “Merry Christmas John.”

He smiled, raising his head to look around. Unsurprisingly the room was still a mess of wrapping paper and ribbon. “Guess it falls on me to clean this up eh?” He said knowingly.

You smiled back, “Yep.”

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧

Simon Ghost Riley Hurt-comfort

For most, Christmas time was a season of giving. It meant spending time with the ones you loved and putting the cheer back into the more depressing months of winter. It also meant engaging in bonding activities like ice skating or decorating the tree for Christmas, maybe even baking cookies.

For others, including Simon Riley, Christmas was a bitter reminder of what they lacked. It wasn't a cookie-cutter checklist for everyone, but the brunt of it was a lack of Christmas cheer, connection, or lack of loved ones to spend the holidays with. And for Simon, it was all three.

Out of every holiday, Christmas was a loathsome one. It felt as if everyone in the world was brimming with happiness while he was cast out into the dark. Like dangling a shiny new toy in a dog's face knowing that said toy would never be given to it.

So what did he do? What he does best. He closed himself off from the world. During the holiday season, Simon often felt more Ghost than he felt like Simon. After all, it was easier to disassociate and pretend he was Ghost again than to face the bitter memories that Simon went through.

But this year was different, why? Because this year he was spending Christmas with you.

It took a lot of convincing on your end, but he eventually settled for spending the week through Christmas at your flat. Which for him, was a big step. He had stayed over multiple times and vice versa, but considering he never spent Christmas with anyone was saying a lot.

It wasn't even until a year ago that Simon told you the whole story of why he disliked Christmas. By that time both of you had mutually understood that your relationship had shifted from casual dating to a more long-term and serious one.

So now you were determined to make this Christmas a good experience for him. Which turned out to be no easy task. But for your boyfriend, there wasn't anything you weren't willing to do.

It started with small festive activities like taking him to a park to see the Christmas lights. Or letting him pick out the shirt that he had been eyeing as an early gift. Your personal favorite had been getting him to help set up and decorate the small Christmas tree you kept in the living room.

Slowly but surely, he was beginning to assimilate with the Christmas spirit. You had even managed to get him to sit down and watch Home Alone!

Things were finally starting to look up…until now. Christmas Eve.

It was as if all the progress you had made vanished in an instant. Almost like he turned into a Ghost. He had barely said a word to you, didn't want to go out, wasn't eating, and was avoiding you. Simon was hauled up in your room and had been there for most of the day. The only time he had gone out was to smoke from your doorstep. Despite your comments about not liking his smoking or coming inside and eating he brushed it off with a grunt.

He had effectively barricaded himself in his mind. And you were sick of it, sick of the secrets, the going non-verbal with little to no explanation, and sick of the fact that he didn't trust you enough to tell you what was going on in his head.

Enough was enough, so you walked up to your bedroom door and knocked a few times. As expected there was no answer, so you pushed it open. Greeting you was Simon, sitting on the edge of your bed, looking down at his skull mask. You had only seen it a few times, not wanting to invade his privacy. Simon was a large proponent of keeping his work and personal life separate.

And why wouldn't he? His work was violent, it was the worst of what humanity had to offer. And you were none of those things. He mentioned to you once that his mask allowed him to be someone else, so that way when he did come back from deployments Simon wasn't the one with blood on his hands.

In other words, to your understanding, the mask was a mentality. A place holder that could do things that the Simon you knew couldn't.

You bit down on the inside of your cheek, carefully making your way over. You climbed up on the bed behind him, till you were knelt facing his large back. Gently you slid your hands around his waist, pressing the side of your face to his spine in a soft hug. You swallowed, an underlying nervousness boiling deep inside you.

“Please talk to me, I can't know how to help if you don't tell me.” You whispered into him, a soft plead.

He didn't respond for a good minute, and a part of you feared that he was just going to brush you off like before. Eventually, he did respond, except it wasn't the response you wanted. “I think I should go back to my place in Manchester. Just for a few days.”

You frowned, this wasn't what you wanted. Not at all. You had been making such good progress too, you didn't understand how it could all reverse in a second. “Simon that's not fair, you at least need to tell me why. You've been silent all day and now you want to leave? You promised you'd stay until Christmas was over.”

Simon turned a bit to look at you, shrugging your hands off of him. The warm look he always had when he looked at you now long gone. “I know what I said. But I told you that I don't spend the holidays with anyone, you knew that.”

Your hands bawled on your thighs, “But- just yesterday you were fine. I don't understand what changed.” You said eyebrows knitting together.

His eyes narrowed, “Then have you considered maybe I just don't want to be around you?” He said, his tone harsh and unforgiving. A knife to your heart. You stared at him in silence, shocked that he would say something like that so brazenly.

Your lips pursed into a thin line, trying to regain your composure. “If you don't want to be around me then tell me, don't ignore me for half the day like a child.” The hands that held his skull mask tightened, bunching up the fabric in his grip.

“Alright, I'm sorry. Happy now?” Simon couldn't have been less sincere even if he tried. Yet another stab to your chest.

You shook your head no, “Of course I'm not happy. You're not telling me anything, I’m trying to listen and understand you but you're just shutting me out. It's like you barely trust me at all.” You said sternly.

Simon pinched the bridge of his nose. You watched how his face scrunched in irritation, the bags under his eyes sticking out like a sore thumb. “I do trust you, but…I’m just not ready.” He said irritably.

Your brows furrowed in confusion, “Not ready? Not ready for what?”

“For you, for this-” Simon snapped, gesturing to the air around him. “-fucking caring about somebody. Because every time I have it’s ended up like shite, I don't even know if I can. Or if I ever will.” He said, his voice brimming with a flurry of emotions. Ones you couldn't decipher, but you were still hung up on the meaning of his words. You knelt there, a cold wave washing over you that felt like ice.

He went on, “You shouldn't even want what I am [Name]. I know you think you do but you don't.”

You shook your head, a lump developing in your throat. “Yes, I do-” You tried weakly, your limbs starting to numb up and grow cold.

Simon stood up, turning his back to you. Walking over to the large overnight bag he had packed, kneeling, and started to take clothes that were scattered near it and shove them inside. You felt your stomach drop, clambering off the bed to stop him. Grabbing onto his suitcase and ripping it away to keep it behind your back.

“Simon tell me what’s going on.” You demanded, your voice suddenly raw.

Simon's eyes were wide, the brown pools of warmth replaced by a dark abyss. Looking up at you with surprise and anger. He stood up, towering over you with his massive frame. Almost like an intimidation tactic. He looked scary.

Slowly he outstretched an open palm, deadly silent. “I'm not going to ask you again, give me my things.”

You shook your head, taking a few steps back until you were pressed against your closet door. Blinking away tears into the back of your head, “No. Tell me what’s going on.” Your hands holding his suitcase with an iron grip behind your back.

His eyebrows furrowed, jaw working in frustration. The veins in his neck tensed for a moment. Almost without thinking his outstretched hand seized forward to grasp your arm, yanking you away from the wall with an alarming force. The suitcase dropped on the floor as he tore you away and you stumbled forward.

You made a noise, one akin to the sound a small animal would make before it was eaten. His grip on your arm was hard by any means, but the minute you made eye contact with him again he broke off. His hand released you like he had been burned by a hot iron, terror written across his face.

He looked more horrified than you did, looking between you and his hand like it was somebody else’s. The silence between you was so loud it rang in your ears.

You felt something wet trail down your cheeks. When did you start crying? You didn't know. You looked back at your boyfriend, he had looked so big before but now he only looked scared. You raised your hands as if you were approaching a wild animal. “Simon-” You breathed, “-It’s okay. I'm okay, you didn't hurt me.”

He didn't say anything, basically frozen in time. You walked up to him, praying he didn't walk back. Thankfully, he didn't. Gently, you cupped his face, forcing him to look down at you. “Please.” You pleaded, “-Tell me whats going on. That's all I ask, if you still want to go after, you can.” You breathed hoarsely.

You watched his face, how it was so full of uncertainty and fear. His bottom lip quivered lightly, “I’m so sorry.” He said, “-I didn't mean…I wasn't thinking.”

You gently rubbed a thumb over his cheek, trying to soothe him to the best of your ability. “I know you didn't mean to, you're not your dad Simon. I'm not worried about that, what I am worried about is you just getting up and leaving because you decided that I don't matter to you anymore.” You said, trying to remain firm to the best of your ability. Even when your voice was quivering and you felt like sobbing.

Simon shook his head, “What? Of course, you matter to me.” He breathed, shaky hands still at his side.

“Well, that's not what it looks like from my perspective. You just said you wanted to leave, you said you didn't think you could ever fully care about me.” You said, looking up at him.

His eyes scanned your face, “I know I'm sorry- I'm… fuck love, I'm scared. I'm scared of caring about you as much as I do, whenever I do it just…” He swallowed, “My mom, and Tommy…they're gone and I can't get them back, and if you leave I have nothing. Because you took everything,” He breathed.

“-You already have me, every part of me that I wanted you to see and every part of me that I don't. And that scares the shite out of me, and I try to keep pushing and pushing but you keep coming back to me.” You felt his hands on your face, large calloused palms warm against your cheeks. “Because that's just how you are, you're good. And I thought by creating more distance you'd see that.”

You opened your mouth but he cut you off, “-And this week you worked so hard, just for me. To give me a good experience,” Simon laughed bitterly. “And here I am, barely keeping my shite together.”

You frowned, “Simon.” You cut him off, your voice stern. He stopped, looking at you. “You don't tell me what I can and can't do, nobody does but me. So if you think you have any chance of convincing me to leave you're mad. I want this, I want you. No matter what baggage you come with.”

There was a moment of silence, filled with a thick tension that you could cut with a knife before he pulled you in. Pressing your face against his chest, cradling your head against him. Holding you tight as if you'd disappear if he let go. Your hands wrapped around his back, digging into the cotton of his shirt and inhaling his scent. One of cigarette smoke and pine. His face pressed into the top of your head.

It was intimate, emotions running high, and the force of his embrace. For a while, you stayed that way, grounded by the large arms that held you to his chest. “I’m so sorry, I should've told you from the beginning.” He whispered into the top of your head, his voice that of genuine remorse.

You knew that this wasn't the end all be all of his problems. Just because he addressed things did not mean everything was magically solved. But it was a big step in the right direction. You maneuvered your head up to look at him, chin pressed against his chest.

“I told you that I wanted to make this a good Christmas, for both of us.” You said, “-If you'll let me, I think we can still make the most of it.”

Simon stared at you, his lips settling in a relieved smile. “Yeah.” He breathed, “I wouldn't have it any other way.”

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧

Kyle Gaz Garrick Fluff

Your room was a complete mess. Clothes were thrown about like a tornado had taken your closet and dispensed its content for everyone to see. But the state of your room was the last thing you could focus on. Because you had thirty minutes until your neighbor two doors down would pick you up for a date.

You felt your cheeks just redden at the thought. A date! Especially with your very hot and very out-of-your-league neighbor Kyle.

You groaned, tossing yet another shirt on your bed. Nothing seemed to fit as it should've, what was one even supposed to wear on a date? It was December so obviously crop tops and shorts were off-limits. You nervously chewed on your nails, cursing at yourself immediately after for forgetting they were painted.

As you slipped on something acceptable (a nice pair of jeans and a coat), you made a beeline for your bathroom. You looked in the mirror, taking a few minutes to look over your makeup for the umpteenth time. Then moving over to fix your hair, tweaking it here and there, and maybe smoothing out the few strays.

You didn't even understand how you got into this predicament, it was all a blur. Kyle had just gotten back from deployment, a normal occurrence, and being the good neighbor you were, you brought him food. (Who wants to cook after they just get home from a long trip anyway?) And being the gentleman he was, he invited you inside. However, due to your inability to act normally around hot men, you panicked and refused.

Swearing up and down that he was probably exhausted and didn't need you to disturb his peace and quiet. You cringed just imaging how red your face must've been.

Instead of taking the hint like a normal person, he doubled down.

“Oh, okay then, why don't you let me take you out sometime as a thank you?”

After that, you were too stunned to say anything so you just shut up and nodded your head. And now you're here, standing in front of the mirror fretting over your appearance like a teenage girl.

You had zero idea where he was taking you. Which, in theory, was cute. But you were so anxiety-ridden that you couldn't find the time to look into it. And just as you were clumsily slipping on your shoes you heard the dreaded knock on your front door. You whirled through your apartment, opening the door with a little (a lot) too much force.

Standing there like a male supermodel was Kyle. Clad in worn-out jeans that he somehow pulled off, a flannel, and a jacket. He smiled, his perfect teeth adding to his handsome charm. “Hey,” He said, looking at you up and down. “-You look great as always.”

You wanted to die, just looking at him was like staring at a beacon of light. But for the sake of your social skills, you forced yourself to respond. “Thanks-” You breathed, trying to smile as normally as you could. “-Uhm you look great too.”

Kyle smiled, the dimples in his cheeks growing more prominent. “Thanks, I appreciate it, love.” He said, looking behind you and then back to you. “-I’m ready when you are, but take your time. We’re not in a rush.” He said casually, hands in his jean pockets.

You nodded, “Oh right- let me just grab my purse.” You breathed, doing a 360 to run back to your kitchen counter and swipe your bag from off the surface. Quickly making a run back towards him, stepping outside “Ready!” You said, trying to work up as much confidence as you could. To which Kyle chuckled, reaching behind you to close the door.

After the initial stress of stepping out the door, Kyle led you out of the complex. To which the subtle awkwardness faded into a comfortable conversation. It was easier with him than with most, it had always been. You'd always had an underlying crush on him but you never actually thought it'd go anywhere. You were more comfortable just looking and making friendly small talk than actively perusing.

After a few minutes of conversation and walking about the town he stopped a few feet away from a large tent. Christmas lights strone about and small lines of people waiting to get inside. And it instantly clicked what he was taking you to do.

“Ice skating?” You asked.

Kyle gave you a boyish grin back, “Yep.” He said confidently, “-thought it matched the Christmas spirit.”

You laughed, to be honest, you hadn't stepped onto an ice rink in a while. You'd never been terrible at it but you weren't exactly a pro either. He gently nudged you with his shoulder, “Scared?” He asked you.

Shaking your head, you smiled back. “You wish Garrick. I think I can hold my own on an ice rink.” You bantered.

Kyle’s shoulders hiccuped as he chuckled, “Alright then. Let’s get in line.” He said leading you over to one of the lines of people. It wasn't a terribly long wait, maybe twenty or fifteen minutes before you made it to the front. And of course, he insisted on paying for your skates even though he had been the one to buy the tickets.

You continued to talk as the both of you laced up your skates. But when it came time to actually get on the ice you found yourself apprehensive. Kyle had already gotten on with ease and was now waiting for you at the small gate entrance.

“Need any help there?” He asked, amused. To which you shook your head, determined to prove to him that you could do it on your own.

“All good.” You breathed, holding onto the gate as you stepped on the ice. “-just uhm, getting my footing.” For some reason, under his gaze, you felt your whole body begin to malfunction. Like you were getting performance anxiety.

You sheepishly let go of the gate, standing statue still. And Kyle simply stood there, an amused smile played across his lips. Arms crossed in front of his broad chest. You swallowed, taking a shaky step forward. And because your life seemed to be one large cosmic joke, you felt your skate slide out and you fell forward.

You tried to put your arms out to catch yourself, shutting your eyes tight with a small squeak before you felt something take hold of you. You blinked as you realized that your face didn't collide with the hard surface of ice but with something else.

Kyle’s arms had caught you just in time, your face pressed up against his warm chest. Large arms encircling your waist, you heard him whistle. A red blush crosses your cheeks from embarrassment. “Careful there, thought you said you could hold your own?”

You were mortified, you had practically thrown yourself at him! (not intentionally of course, but still)

He helped you stand back straight as well as fix your coat. You swore you could almost feel steam coming out from your ears. “I’m sorry, that was an accident I swear.” You babbled. He didn't seem to mind, however, simply holding his hands up and giving you a soft look.

“Hey, it's okay love, I know. Happens to the best of us.” He reassured. Once again you tried to brush off the pet name so as not to implode. Kyle held his arm out to you, “-Why don't you hang on to me for the first couple of laps yeah? Just to be safe.”

You looked between him and his outstretched arm. “I-uh yeah. Sure, sounds good.” You said, taking hold of his arm for more support. He flashed you a smile before slowly skating forward. You tried your best to keep up, and with his support you did.

The two of you did loops around the skating rink, people-watching, talking, and laughing. The thing was, your arm still held his, even after the first couple of loops, he made no effort to detach from you. And neither did you, but that was neither here nor there. You actually learned a lot about him, about his family, his interests, and even a little about his work. Which in his words was “Nothing that you should ever have to hear about.”

You managed to open up to him as well, sharing more of your life with him. Eventually, your time at the rink ran out. But the conversations between you and Kyle still kept up. By the time you were walking back to your complex with him, his hand had managed to sneak its way into yours. Some part of you was still in disbelief that it was even happening, however.

You swallowed, glancing at him from the corner of your eye as he walked shoulder-to-shoulder with you. “Thanks, by the way. It was really nice of you to take me out like this. But you really didn't need to, it was just a meal. A thank you would've sufficed.” You commented.

Kyle glanced back at you, raising and eyebrow. “You think I asked you out just cause you cooked me dinner?” He said, making you stop.

You looked at him, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “…yes? What other reason would there be?” You asked, utterly lost.

At that, Kyle fully turned to face you. Staring at you for a few seconds, his face trying to deduce if you were joking or not. When he realized you weren't kidding, his face broke into a smile. “[Name], I've been trying to ask you out for weeks.”

You blinked, his words only confusing you more. “What? No, I would've picked up on it.” You said.

He chuckled and shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yes actually, multiple times,” Kyle said. Looking at you with an expectant gaze.

You tried to dive back into all of your memories with him, searching for a time that would've counted as him asking you out. But, you came out empty-handed. “Give me an example then.” You said, brow furrowed.

Kyle raised his eyebrows, “What about the other day when I invited you inside to eat dinner with me after you brought me food?”

“Well, that doesn't really count. That's just something people say to be polite. How was I supposed to know?” You challenged.

He continued, “…Or about that time I told you I had an extra ticket to a football game if you wanted to go?”

You felt your cheeks get a bit rosy. That one did sound a bit more like asking you out when you thought about it. “I- I was under the impression that you were just giving me a ticket. I didn't realize you meant together,” You flushed.

Kyle kept going. “And that time I caught you coming back from a bad date and I said I could show you a better one?”

Okay yeah, you were seeing it now. You bit down on your cheek, trying to stop yourself from melting into a puddle. “I thought you were just being nice.” You said lamely. You saw his mouth open to respond, but you held your hands in front of his face. “Okay, but yes, I get it! I realize now that there might have been some signs.”

You heard him chuckle, he gently lowered your hands. You sighed, feeling your cheeks burn red from embarrassment. How could you be so clueless!? “I'm sorry for not noticing that you were trying to ask me out.” You murmured, trying your best to avoid his eyes.

You then felt his warm hand slide over your jaw, cupping the side of your face to raise it. Your eyes met his, mirth swimming inside his dark brown irises. “It's okay love, you're worth the wait.”

You felt your face burn, realizing the significance of what was happening. His eyes darting between your lips, the way he held your face, the utter cheesiness of it all. And God you were eating it up like your own personal rom-com. But to your dismay, nothing was happening! Like you two were frozen in time. Kyle had been the one to ask you out, to make the first moves, so maybe it was only fair you did this small thing.

Throwing your timidness out the window, you leaned forward. Shutting your eyes and locking lips with him. It only took a moment for Kyle to press back against you, tilting his head and sliding his hand over your cheek to cup the back of your head. It was pure bliss.

You stayed like that for as long as you could, letting yourself get lost in the feeling of his lips. Yet all good things end as you still need oxygen, so you did eventually have to pull away.

Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, face flushed. He looked a little better, but it was cute the way he looked post-kiss. Kyle’s lip turned into a boyish grin, “Does this mean I get another date?”

You couldn't help but laugh, “I guess so.”

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Jhonny Soap McTavish Smut

Curse your boss for putting you on the late-night Christmas shift. What kind of fucker does that? A greedy one, you supposed. It wasn't like you didn't have plans, not with family, no, but with friends.

But no. He just had to schedule you for Christmas night.

Bartending for a group of sad, lonely, old men wasn't what you had in mind when you thought of Christmas. And even though you tried to get out of it, (bribing every co-worker and staff member you could and asking them if they would cover your shift) you still ended up behind the counter.

You grimaced, dish rag in hand as you cleaned the sticky countertop. It was pretty dead, but not enough that you were free for time. A few regulars sitting at the bar, and others were scattered about the place. Some talking or watching the different channels projected on the TV. Overall, it was a quiet evening. Though some part of you felt a little bad for wanting everyone to leave, after all, some people here didn't have families or friends to go home to.

You heard the doorbell chime as somebody walked inside. You didn't bother looking up, more concerned about the patch of mystery substance that wasn't going away. You furrowed a brow, working your muscles to press into the surface and scrub.

Heavy boots creaked across the wood, getting closer with each moment. Yet you still hadn't made any progress on the counter. With a heavy sigh, you rolled your eyes and looked up. A frown that could scare off any customer played across your lips.

“Jesus, Bonnie, Christmas shift that bad aye? Y’look like you're about to kill me right where I stand.”

You halted. Standing before you was Johnny McTavish, or Soap, as his other friends christened him. (don't ask, you didn't know why either) He was a part of the semi-regular military group that came in a few times a month. There was a large base a few miles away, so it wasn't abnormal to get your fair share of soldiers now and again. However, what was abnormal was the fact that he was here alone.

Normally, Johnny came in with three other guys. Gaz, another more gruff man who they referred to as ‘Cap,’ and a big scary-looking bloke who always wore a balaclava.

You stared at him for a good few seconds.“I uh, sorry you caught me off guard there.” You breathed. “-And no, it’s not bad in here, just prefer not to be working on Christmas night.”

Johnny hummed, walking up the the counter and pulling out a stool right in front of you. His large arms settled against the wood, “Too bad. Bossman put you on the shift, did he?” He asked, apparently very amused by your grim attitude.

You rolled your eyes, throwing the rag under the counter. “Yeah, I even tried to bribe everyone to cover my shift but nobody would take it.”

He smiled, shrugging his broad shoulders. “Well then maybe this was fate.” He joked, “-Anyway, since it is Christmas, would you mind pouring me a glass? Y’know, as a present?” He said, grinning at you.

You felt your heart stutter a little.

Oh yeah, the other thing about Johnny was that you may or may not have the biggest crush known to man on him. It wasn't even your fault, he charmed his stupid way into your heart. With his ridiculous mohawk, (which wasn't even really a mohawk) pretty blue eyes, and his huge biceps. Very annoying. Not even to mention his rough voice with that thick Scottish accent.

To say you had the hots for him was a giant understatement.

You breathed out a laugh, “Alright, coming up.” You turned around to grab the bottle of vodka, fixing together a Cape Codder. Then sliding the glass over to him. He gave you a funny look, concussion written across his face.

“This isn't my usual.” He pointed out, still taking the drink nonetheless.

You flashed him a smile, winking. “Merry Christmas doll face.” You said sarcastically. To which he simply took a sip. You eyed him as he did, “Where are the rest of the guys?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

Johnny cleared his throat, setting the glass down and leaning forward. “Gaz and Price are back at base, everyone had drinks earlier and they wouldn't make it. Ghost’s not the biggest fan of Christmas so he didn't want to go out either.” He said casually.

You nodded, “If you had drinks earlier than why are you back here?” You asked.

Soap smiled, his jaw working in a way that made you swallow. “Never said I did, the others drank, but I held off until now. Thought I'd be better if I got shit-faced here where you could see it.”

You laughed, leaning against the back counter. Your arms crossed over your chest. “And you were just betting on me working tonight?”

Jhonny shrugged, taking another sip. “I had an inkling.”

You breathed out another small chuckle, walking back over to grab the towel you'd thrown before. “Y’know, I'm only giving you a free drink because it’s Christmas. Can't pull that trick on anybody else, so be grateful you got me.”

He nodded, licking his lips. His eyes followed you as you walked around. “Trust me Bonnie I am, not every day I get you all to myself.”

Your train of thought stuttered a bit, Jhonny was a flirt, yes. But for some reason, it felt different. His tone had changed, and the way his eyes were tracking your every move felt more real. You glanced back at him as you scrubbed the countertop. “Who says that all my attention is on you?” You quipped with a smile.

Jhonny grinned, shaking the ice in his glass. “You know what I mean.” He set in drink back down on the table. “But for the record, I don't see you givin’ any attention to the other blokes here.”

You shot him a look, trying to hold in your laugh. “Unfortunately, half of the people here are either probably married or well above the appropriate age bracket.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Too bad, here I was thinking I’m getting special treatment. Better think of a way to get on your good side, I suppose.”

You cocked an eyebrow at him, intrigued at the sentiment. “Yeah? What did you have in mind?” You asked.

“Depends.” He said, staring at you with way more intensity than you were prepared for. “-What do ya’ want Bonnie?”

You stared back, at a loss for words. There were many things you wanted, or more specifically, things you wanted him to do to you. Your throat suddenly went dry, your train of thought ruined by a barrage of filthy images flashing in your mind. It wasn't until another minute went by that you remembered you were supposed to be responding to his question.

You cleared your throat, “I uh- a solid cash tip would be nice. Or maybe you could cover my shift.” You joked, trying to play the silence off.

“S’not what it looks like to me.” He stated, throwing his head back as he downed the last of his drink.

You halted again, caught off guard. Furrowing your brow in confusion, “Excuse me?” You asked.

He put the drink back down on the table, leaning forward on his arms. His signature impish smile on his stupidly pretty lips. “That's not what it looks like to me.” He repeated, enunciating each word. “Nobody looks at somebody like you just did to me, then makes a joke about covering a shift.”

You felt your heart speed up, so he had noticed your stare? You forced a frown, keeping a skeptical face. Placing a hand on your hip, “I wasn't looking at you like anything.”

“Oh yes, you most definitely were Bonnie.” Fuck that stupid nickname he always called you. It only weakened your resolve.

You rolled your eyes, “And how exactly was I looking at you?” You said, frowning at him.

Johnny’s smile twitched up a little, something akin to hunger flashing in his eyes. “Like you wanted to shag me.” He spoke casually. “-Can’t say I'm not guilty of’tha either though. The drinks here aren't the only reason I'm always stoppin’ by.”

If your face wasn't red before, it definitely was now. You looked around as if somebody was listening in on the conversation. You looked back at him, wide-eyed and flushed. “I-what? I wasn't-” You cut yourself off from stumbling over another word. “You…want to fuck me?” You said slowly, skepticism leaking through your tone.

Without a beat, he nodded. “Yes.”

You stood statue still, absolutely floored by his lack of filter. For a few moments, you didn't know what to say. What could you say? ‘Yeah, I do too now let's have sex right now.’ Yeah right.

…

Well maybe.

You looked around again, there was barely anyone in the bar. They probably wouldn't notice if you disappeared for twenty minutes, right?

You looked back at Johnny, “Meet me behind that door one minute after I go inside.” Without another word, you turned on your heel and marched your ass into the back room behind the drink display. The heavy door shutting with a thump behind you.

You blinked, holy shit. You had just told Johnny to meet you in the back room. What the hell were you doing?!

Just before you started panicking, the door swung open and Johnny marched straight in. “What the hell? I thought I told you a minute later.” You whisper shouted at him.

He chuckled, “Sorry, but I don't think waltzing in here a minute after you would make what we're about to do any less obvious. It was a nice thought, though.” He said, almost patronizingly.

Suddenly, his strides had backed you against one of the back walls that were lined with cardboard boxes. You bit down on the inside of your cheek, “You're such a-” You cut yourself off, sighing heavily. “For the record, I'm only doing this because I'm pissed off about working and I need something to fill the time.” a lie.

Johnny’s large hands slid against your waist, holding you there. “Sure, Bonnie, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Just as you opened your mouth to argue back his head dipped down to capture your lips. You let out a surprised noise but quickly adapted, your hands snaking around his head and pulling him closer. He groaned into you, pushing his hips against yours as his tongue slipped into your mouth.

The kiss was needy, desperate even. Like he wanted to consume you whole. Every moment seemed to heat the tension between you as he slowly ground himself into you, letting you feel the hardening tent between his legs.

He gently nipped at your lip, causing you to gasp. His large hands made quick work of your top by sliding it over your head. As soon as he saw you in your bra, he groaned, “Fuck, this is what I've been thinkin’ bout’ for the past few months.” Without another word, he reached behind you to unclasp your bra. Groping and pawing at your chest like a cat.

You tried your best to keep your sighs and moans down. “You've been thinking about me?” You breathed.

“Every day Bonnie.” He said, kissing a trail up your neck. Red hickeys blossoming in his wake that would undoubtedly remain for the next few hours. But you couldn't find it in you to care, at least not in this moment.

Without warning his kisses began to drop until he slid down between your legs. Kneeling before you like he was ready to worship the ground you stood on. You looked down at him, surprise in your gaze. However, he paid you no mind as he undid your pants. Pulling them down your legs until they pooled at your ankles.

You swallowed, “Johnny you don't have to-”

“I want to.” He cut you off. His breath fanning against the material of your panties, blue eyes staring up at you with haze. His hands gently pulled down the elastic of your underwear until you stood bared to him. “-Fuck, you gorgeous thing.” He breathed, in awe of you.

His mouth was on you at a moment's notice. His hot tongue licking circles around your clit. Your hands immediately went to grab at his hair. Curling around the short locks of brown hair, your other hand slapped over your mouth. Muffling the puffs of air and moans falling from your lips.

It was almost like he was enjoying it more than you were because the way he ate you out was akin to a starving man desperate for water. Johnny moaned into you as he sucked and licked at you, hands holding your hips, keeping you in place.

You panted, absolutely lost for words as he delved into you. You'd never had any man desperate to taste you, so this took the cake. And the way his stubble scratched into your skin made you dizzy. This man had ruined you for anybody else in a few short minutes with his tongue alone.

“Jeez, Johnny- you're gonna make me cum if you keep going like that.” You panted out through your moans.

He detached for a second, looking at you. His cheeks flushed red, his eyes glazed over, and his mouth slick with your juices. “Good,” He panted. “Means I'm doing my job right.”

Before you could say any more he went right back at it, flicking his tongue over your clit. Your hands squeezed his hair tighter, pushing him further. Johnny moaned, letting you guide his face for your pleasure. One of his hands slid away from your thigh to your pussy, pressing a finger into your hole.

You let another moan slip, not being able to hide it as his thick digit pushed into your walls. It was too much, the pressure of his finger curling inside you as his tongue worked against your clit.

“Holy shit- m’gonna cum. M’gonna cum.” You panted, voice going up an octave as your body tightened. A burning heat sending shocks through your spine.

Johnny groaned in response, working his finger faster inside you. You threw your head back with a silent cry, legs shaking as you came. Heat burning down your body and lighting fireworks inside your stomach.

After a few more seconds, he slid his finger out of you, leaning back on his knees. His breath was almost as heavy as yours. Your mind was still hazy but somehow you found it in you to look down at him, gently carding a hand through his hair. “Fuck, McTavish, you surprised me.”

He grinned back at you, practically pussy drunk. “Yeah? Does that mean I get another free drink?” He asked, amused.

You smiled, helping him to his feet. “I’ll do you one better.” You murmured, feeling the fog of your orgasm slowly fade a little.

He raised an eyebrow, his mouth opening in question as you switched your position. Now in front of him and sliding down to your knees, eye to eye with his bulge. Your hands palmed over him, making his head tilt back with a soft groan. “Fuck- [Name], eating you out like that already did a number on me.” He panted, “M’not gonna last long if you do anything to me.”

You smiled, gently unzipping his pants and pulling apart the fabric. Jeez, he was practically tearing a hole straight through his boxers. “I can live with that.” You said teasingly, sliding down his briefs to let his dick spring free.

Your eyes drank him in, pleasantly surprised to find out, yes, he was big. You gently took hold of him, his cock sticky and beading with milky precum. His head fell back against the wall. “You really know how to make a guy feel special, don't you?” He half laughed, half moaned.

You hummed in acknowledgment, licking a stripe up his cock. Then swirl your tongue over the reddish tip, lapping up the fluid like syrup. His dick twitched, making you smile. Slowly, you took the head of him into your mouth, inching your way down.

Johnny cursed, his hand reaching down to grab your hair. Holding you as you slid down his dick, your throat wrapped around him. “Bonnie, I told you I wasn't gonna last long.” He moaned, his breath heavy and hard.

You moaned in response, bobbing your head up and down his cock. Letting the tip hit the back of your throat. Your eyes locked on his face scrunched up in pleasure as you sucked him off.

Soon, he was practically whimpering at nothing. His hands held your hair with a vice grip as you bobbed up and down on his dick. “Fuckfuckfuck- that's it, keep going. You're so gorgeous, just taking my cock like that.”

You moaned, feeling his cock twitch again in your mouth. With another curse, he came down your throat, painting your mouth a milky white.

Slowly, you detached from his softening dick. Swallowing the fluid, it was salty, kind of earthy too. Not bad though, thank goodness. Johnny stared at you, looking wrecked. You probably didn't fair that much better.

“Was that better than a free drink?” You chuckled, wobbly standing up.

Johnny laughed, nodding. “Way better than a free drink.”

There was a moment of silence before he spoke up again.

“…so, you free after your shift?”

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Merry Christmas or Happy holidays!

Or if it is the day after Christmas then happy late Christmas. Anyway, just a collection of a few one-shots for the festive season :)

This isn't my usual content, it’s normally more long-form stories but I hope it was okay!

Not too much to say other than thank you for reading and all your support, I love each and every one of you.

And don't forget to like or repost, maybe even leave a comment if you so choose. Toodles!

( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧

[makochi-furin]

WHEN YOUR SON TELLS YOU TO SHUT UP

A/N: I honestly just piss myself laughing at these TikTok’s, and had to write it, lmao. I’m a sucker for characters I like as parents, so I thought it’d be fun. Also, Toji’s is a little crack-y, but you can’t honestly tell me he wouldn’t have the most feral children in the world

WARNING(s): n/a

NAKAHARA CHUUYA

—Chuuya is a great dad. He's busy often (as his work calls for being away most of the time), so when he's home he prefers to be the easy parent. He doesn't want to spend a lot of time at work, just to come home and have to discipline his kid, who he already doesn't get to see as much as he wished he did

—He is not the kind of dad where, when your kid pisses you off, you say, "I'm calling your daddy." He prefers for everything to be peaceful and for him to not be at odds with his kid

—Your son's name is Keisuke, and he's about ten years old. You both have done a really good job raising him, and he's very respectful and well-mannered. He isn't spoiled, despite having rich parents, and he's a kind boy. He takes mostly after you, but he's Chuuya's spitting image💀 The gall to look just like his dad when it was you who baked the mf for nine months, but oh well

—Since Keisuke had never really been disciplined by Chuuya, he came to you one day with a proposition: a prank on his dad. You weren't really sure at first tbh when he told you about the 'telling mom to shut up in front of dad' thing. Like, sure, Chuuya had never been the strict parent, or anything, but he was BIG on respect. It didn't matter if it was towards himself, you, or even Keisuke. He doesn't let it slide, so you weren't sure how he'd react, because Keisuke was rarely disrespectful, and he especially wasn't when Chuuya was around

—Still, Kei thought it would be funny, and you were curious, yourself, so you agreed

—It was the perfect day for it, because Chuuya had asked for two weeks off (and, of course, got approved). As such, he was home all day with the two of you, and you got more excited for the prank (though you wouldn't admit it).

When the day came, Keisuke had his little phone hidden somewhere up on the bookcase in the living room of y'all's penthouse. He had been giggly and excited all day, which you loved to see, and Chuuya still had no idea.

He was sitting on the couch, elbow propped on the arm and cheek pressed to his fist as he scrolled through his phone. It was a slow day, as no chores really needed to be completed and Kei wasn't at school, so everyone had spent most of the morning chilling and doing their own thing.

Kei walked into the living room, then, and shot you a grin when he met your eyes. His were so pretty, just like his dad's, but they were mischievous now.

You knew what he was trying to signal, and then nodded. At the moment, you were leaning against the island, flipping through a magazine, and he walked over to the loveseat across from the couch and sat down, playing on his phone.

You could barely maintain your little grin as you called, "Hey, Kei-chan, will you come wash these dishes for me, baby? I need to do the laundry."

"Not right now, mom," he said back, not even looking up from his screen.

Chuuya didn't even act like he heard, still focused on his own phone.

"Please, Kei? I could really use some help," you said back, shooting your boy a wink. The way his eyes sparkled was so cute. You made sure your tone sounded serious, though.

"Really, mom, can you just, like, give me a minute?" he replied, annoyance lacing his voice. Just in case Chuuya was looking (he still wasn't), he even rolled his eyes.

"Kei, please, I don't ask you for much—"

"God, mom, would you just shut up?" he said, rolling his eyes again and shaking his head, muttering under his breath about how annoying you were.

Chuuya didn't react for a minute, and then his head shot up, eyes slightly widened like he was in disbelief.

Both you and Kei held your breath.

"Excuse you?" Chuuya said roughly, voice slightly raised. He put his phone down beside him, and then stood up. "What did you just say?"

Kei gulped, and you wondered whether it was time to admit to the prank, but he kept it going. "S-She's being annoying, dad."

Chuuya glared at him like you'd never seen before. In the blink of an eye, he had snatched Kei's phone out of his hand, pulled him up out of his chair, and pushed him towards the kitchen. "You're gonna apologize to your mother, you little asshole, and then you're gonna go do the fucking dishes and the laundry. If you were any older, I'd kick your little disrespectful ass for that!"

Kei was frozen in shock, obviously. His dad had never raised his voice at him, let alone cussed at him. He'd gone pale, and it honestly tugged at your heart to see him like that.

"It was a prank, baby," you said quickly, walking forward and wrapping your arms around Kei's shoulders. "Just a prank." You pointed towards the phone propped up on the bookcase.

Chuuya blinked, all of the anger leaving his body in a second. He didn't even follow your finger to the phone.

Kei started to grin, then, and you couldn't help but giggle a little, too.

Running a hand down his face, Chuuya shook his head. "Both of you are pains in my ass," he muttered.

—You and Kei still rewatch the video sometimes, laughing over how heated he'd gotten. Chuuya is honestly kind of embarrassed about it, but he pretends he isn't. If you ever tease him, he just reminds you that he has to protect your honor, lmao

—You catch red starting to creep up his neck whenever it's brought up, though

GOJO SATORU

—Gojo's little mini-me is fourteen, and he is a PAIN. He's just like his dad. Cocky? Check. Annoying? Check. Playful? Check. He is the most mischievous, little asshole on the planet, and he makes it everyone's problem

—His name is Shinso, and he's the apple of his father's eye. When he was little, Gojo doted on him SO much. Your kid was so spoiled, and even if you tried to stop it, Gojo would just sneak him stuff. It was SO irritating, but Shin eventually grew out of being spoiled, thankfully

—Shinso is an annoying, little prick to most people, but he's the best son. Not even gonna lie. He's very playful with you (yall are real jokesters), but he doesn't confuse you for a bestie: you're his mom, and he respects you endlessly for putting up with both himself and Gojo. Now, since he became a teenager, Gojo really is more like a bestie. They get on so well. And, like Chuuya, Gojo has never been a disciplinarian

—Shinso calls him 'dad' and all that, and trusts him in that way you can only really trust your dad (all my people out there with good dads know what I'm talking about), but he's still more like a bestie. Sometimes, it feels like you're parenting two children. Sorry bout it

—The two play pranks on you a lot, so you were honestly surprised when Shinso came to you with the idea to prank Gojo. You thought it wouldn't really turn out very funny, tbh. You figured maybe Gojo would tell him to stfu if he told you to shut up, but you couldn't imagine your husband (the laid back parent) really getting very angry

—Still, you agreed because Shin seemed excited about it

—You were in the kitchen cooking dinner for all of you, while Satoru and Shin were playing cards at the dinner table. Shin and you had already come up with your plan, so now it was time to put it into action.

Honestly, you rolled your eyes just thinking about it as you stirred up the sauce on the stove. "Hey, Shin, will you go put the laundry in the dryer, please."

"I'm busy, mom," he replied bluntly, lying down his card.

Gojo's eyebrows raised briefly, but he still grinned as he lied down his own card, effectively winning this hand. He cackled as he pulled all of the poker chips towards him. "Better luck next time, Shin-chan."

"Please, Shin? I can't do two things at once," you said, looking over your shoulder curiously at them, seeing how Satoru would react.

"Not right now, mom. God," he muttered, shaking his head and widening his eyes like you were being really annoying. "Just give me a minute."

This time, Gojo's eyebrows stayed raised. He shot Shin a look of warning, but said nothing, continuing to lie down his cards.

You were surprised even at that, to be honest, and were sure his thoughts were something along the lines of 'please, shut up, so I don't have to step in.'

"Shin, please," you said again, this time sighing and making sure to sound exhausted. "It won't take long, and then you can go right back to playing cards."

"Mom, shut up," he groaned, making a show out of how aggravated he was. "Give me a damn minute."

You raised your eyebrows, impressed by how much of a petulant brat he sounded like. He was playing his role well. Now, the two of you stared at Satoru, waiting for his reaction.

He was chuckling softly, cards forgotten as he tilted his head at Shin. "Oh, are you bad now?" he asked, standing from the table. He kept his hands flat on it, tall figure leaning over it and staring down at his son, who watched him, speechless. "No, don't be quiet now. I thought you were bad? Say it again."

You crossed your arms over your chest, a little amused, and maybe even flattered. Shin had never seen his father like this, but you had, and you probably should've just said it was a prank right then and there. You'd forgotten that Shin didn't know his dad as well as he thought he did, though.

"I told her to shut up. She needs to stop being annoying."

Your eyes flew open as Satoru took off his shades and set them down on the table, smiling at Shin as he stared down at him with those bright, bright blue eyes.

"You think you're grown now?" Satoru asked, appearing at Shin's side. He lifted him from the chair by the collar of his shirt, and pushed him towards the front door. "If you're so grown, you can go ahead and find your own place, yeah? If you're adult enough to disrespect your mother, surely you're adult enough to get a job."

You were frozen, in disbelief.

Shin looked just as frozen, staring up at Satoru with impossibly widened eyes. Never before had he experienced this side of his father, and Satoru wasn't being nearly as intimidating as you knew he could be.

"Dad, I—"

"You can either apologize and go help your mother, or you can take your disrespect and your attitude and get out of my house," Satoru interrupted in a pleasant voice that promised trouble if Shin didn't choose option number one.

You could see your son wasn't sure what to do, so you, of course, stepped in. "It was a prank, Satoru. We planned it. He didn't mean it."

—When I say that he went from intimidating and strong to literally falling on his face and blushing all over his body, I mean it. He is SO embarrassed, and you and your boy never let him forget it

—Later, he pranks you both back to get revenge, and makes you return his black card to him for a week (you don't, of course, and he pouts about it). He also tries to take Shin's phone for a week (you just buy him another one with Gojo's black card, and he pouts about it)

—Shin posts the video on TikTok, captioning it "telling your mom to shut up when your dad is the hOnOrEd OnE😤😤"

—It immediately goes viral, and everyone makes fun of Gojo (Inumaki, Yuuta, and Maki make a parody of it, and it also goes viral)

FUSHIGURO TOJI

—When you met Toji years ago, you quickly adapted to being the step-mother of Megumi and Tsumiki, and then later you ended up having a child with him to go along with your bonus babies. The two of you named him Haruo

—Toji is the kind of dad who walks into his kids doing some stupid shit, mutters, "you fucking weirdos," and then immediately walks out. He don't give a fuck as long as no one is hurt, honestly (like, actually hurt. When Haru came to him crying about a splinter, this man literally rolled his eyes and went, "I'm an assassin."). He's such a dick to his kids, but not in a mean way, if that makes sense

—Anyway, all these little mfs are tough, because Fushiguro fucking Toji is their dad, and they had to learn real quick to dish his shit back to him💀 So, honestly, they're all pretty disrespectful to each other

—"Megumi, bring me a beer."

—"Eat shit and die."

—"You're a little, fucking loser, and your only friend is your mother."

—They're just like that. It's their dynamic. They all started cussing by five, and you tried to stop it, but it's just impossible. They're too much like him, so you eventually just taught them that it's okay to be disrespectful to daddy, but not anyone else🫡

—They are NOT disrespectful to you. You don't have that dynamic with them, but you're also able to separate real disrespect when it comes to them, rather than just the smart assing that they're too used to using, but really don't mean anything by

—Haruo is your friendliest kid, honestly. He's friendly to you and to Toji, so he tends to be the one that Toji is genuinely nice to. Like, don't get me wrong, they still have their back and forths, but Haruo doesn't mutter, "What a shame," when Toji gets home like Tsumiki does, so...

—That's why you were so surprised when Haruo came to you one day—he was about fifteen—and suggested to pull a prank on Toji. When he told you what it would entail, you were a little hesitant because they'd never really been disrespectful towards you, and you weren't sure how Toji would react. Haru convinced you, though, and you ended up agreeing

The kids were all sitting on the couch, scrolling through their phones like IPad kids. Haruo was pretending to be really engrossed in the mobile game he was playing, as the two of you had planned for the prank to happen today.

You were folding the laundry at the counter (with three kids and Toji, there was a lot of it), while Toji had just gotten back from his 'job,' and was sitting on a barstool opposite you. He was drinking coffee, a neutral expression on his face as he watched you go about your chore.

"Hey, Haru-chan, will you go grab my phone for me? It's in my room," you said, folding one of Toji's shirts. You were having trouble not cracking a grin already.

Haruo didn't reply, so Megumi flicked the back of his head. "Hey, mom's talking to you."

"Huh? What do you want?" he asked, annoyed, without taking his eyes from his game.

Tsumiki's eyes slid up from her phone screen to look at him, eyebrow raised.

"I asked if you'd go get my phone for me," you replied, eyeing Toji, who was staring at the wall.

"Make dad do it," Haru muttered.

Toji rolled his eyes at the words.

"He just got back from work, honey. Please, just go get it."

"Mom, I'm busy." Haru huffed, like you were asking him to move a mountain.

At this point, even the kids were watching Haru through narrowed eyes, slightly confused. He never acted like this—none of them did towards you.

It looked like Tsumiki was gearing up to say something, so you quickly said, "Fushiguro Haruo, go grab my phone. Please."

"God, mom, will you shut up for one damn second?" He snapped, looking up from his phone to shoot you a glare.

Toji did a double take, blinking. Then, he calmly stood up and started walking over to Haru, all the while Megumi and Tsumiki watched with wide eyes, sharing glances.

You watched carefully, too.

Toji grabbed a pillow off the couch, not saying a word, and then threw it right at Haru's head at a brutal pace.

"Toji—!" you started, but he was already wound up.

Haru yelped as the pillow hit him hard, and then stared up at his father with wide eyes.

Tsumiki had taken off her sandal and chucked it at Haru's head, meanwhile Megumi had stood up, too.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, you little shit?" Toji asked, glaring down at him. "You think you can talk that way to your fucking mom? I'll kick you out of this goddamn house." He smacked Haru on the head, which had Haru raising his arms up. "Don't you ever say that shit to her again!"

"It's a prank! It's a prank, baby," you yelled, running over to protect your kid from your psycho family. "He didn't mean it!"

Haru was looking at Toji and his siblings with wide eyes, as everyone froze where they were. Then, a grin crept onto his lips, because he was a little psycho, too. "Got you, dad."

Toji smacked him upside the head, which had Haru howling with laughter. "I swear to god, I hate every one of you crotch-goblin motherfuckers. All of you were mistakes."

"Fuck you, too, dad," Tsumiki said quickly.

"Go kill yourself, asshole," Megumi added.

"Love you, too, dad," Haru said with a grin, trying and failing to hold back laughter.

Meanwhile, you ran a hand down your face, tired of your weird ass kids and their weird ass dad.

[amvro]

pairing: amuro tooru x gn!reader

summary: he’s overworked and he needs some well deserved rest.

cw: none :)

It was as if he could do anything. He could start his day at the cafe and save a few people before coming that night, and because of this, it was terribly easy to forget that he too, is human like everyone else.

He was a little too good at pushing himself when he needed to most. When he needed some rest, but a call comes in asking for some extra help on a mission. Or the cafe suddenly asking him to open up the next morning because someone's unable to make their shift. He was always able to say yes and exceed everyone's expectations no matter the job.

For this exact reason, he was often given far more work than your average person, and this is not to mention he had three different faces he was juggling. Yet, even through all this work, it looked effortless to him. He never seemed to be struggling and he was always on task, so no one would suspect he actually was tired and a little rest was necessary for this hardworking man.

However, you would never miss it. Not the small eyebags that appeared just below his eyes and definitely not the sighs that he would let out every once in a while. He needed some rest, but you knew better than anyone that he wouldn't listen if you simply told him to, he would just push himself a little more. He's a little too good at that.

You knew when his next day off was, but you also knew he was planning to get all his household chores done and caught up with that day, and you weren't going to let that happen. He needed to rest. So there you were, two days before his day off, cleaning around to surprise him. You were absolutely ready to take the whole day and the next if you had to, but it was much better than you had expected. Of course, he still had most of his daily chores covered through all his work. Needless to say, you were excited about his day off.

Before long, his day off had finally come. He woke up bright and early like he always did, went out for a little jog, and did his little routine. He had gotten back home and he was ready to take out the garbage when he realized it was already done, which he found terribly skeptical. He then went to check the laundry which was also already done, not to mention everything seemed a lot cleaner than he had left it. Immediately, his eyes widened and he knew it was you, and he was ashamed he hadn't noticed earlier.

As if on cue, you rang the doorbell and he opened it up. You looked at his running wear and you realized he had already gone and ran.

"You're already done! Aw, that's too bad... I was going to tell you to sleep in some more first," you said and gave him a little kiss as you walked in.

"Thank you so much," he said, a little lost for words and you smiled.

"Oh, don't mention it. Go take a shower, I'll borrow your kitchen by the way," you said, pushing him towards his bathroom.

"I'm sorry, you just came but I think I will," he said, looking apologetic and you told him there was nothing for him to feel sorry for.

While he was in the shower, you decided to make a few mug cakes. Very simple 5-minute ones, because his showers were too short for anything special. Now, they took much longer than the five minutes they were advertised to take, but it was still done by the time he had gotten out of the shower.

You were sitting on the couch with a blanket and the mug cakes on the coffee table when he walked out of the shower. You had been dating for a while now, but gosh was he still so stunning with his wet hair.

"Come sit and eat while it's still warm!" you said. "I'll dry your hair."

"No, it's okay, you should relax," he said and you immediately looked at him, shocked.

"If anyone needs to relax it's you," you said and forced him to sit down so you could dry his hair, which he had no choice but to give into.

It was a lovely time, there were hardly any words said as the sound of the dryer was a little too loud, but it was comforting. He was eating your very quickly put-together mug cake while you were drying his silky hair. Every other bite he would feed you some as you were busy drying his hair, and you couldn't ask for more. Nothing could make you happier and the same went for him.

Once your mug cakes were finished and his hair was dry, you snuggled into his bed and pulled him in.

"We're going to sleep," you said, already comfortable under his blanket.

"No, we really don't have to. We finally have a day off together, we should go somewhere you want to," he said.

"Well, I want to be here right now. With you," you said, completely certain that that was what you wished for. "I really want some more sleep today and I can't sleep without you so you're going to have to tag along."

He couldn't help but smile. He slowly snuck in and you snuggled up right next to him as he kissed the top of your head. It was sweet, and that was it. It didn't have to be anything more and it was all he wanted for the past few weeks. He truly didn't know how you managed to notice and he couldn't imagine himself with anyone other than you. You had to be the one.

"Thank you so much," he said, again. "For noticing."

"Noticing what?" you said with a smile, playing dumb. "I just wanted some extra sleep with you. I hope you don't mind on your first day off in a while."

"There is nothing more I could possibly ask for," he said and wrapped his arms around you. Before long, he was fast asleep and you couldn't help but smile. You knew he was tired and you didn't know how to get him to rest.

You kissed him softly and whispered, "I am always here for you," before falling asleep as well, but you would never find out that he was awake to hear those words. Nor will you ever find out that he fell even more in love with you that day.

[nayeonie99]

Sana x Jihyo / The Bet

Sana's POV

When I walked into the apartment I shared with my roommate Jihyo after my classes ended and I heard moans coming from her room, I couldn't help the curiosity growing inside of me to go check what exactly she was doing in her room.

My eyes almost popped out of my head though, when I saw her fucking some guy on top of her bed.

I didn't say anything and peeked through the small crack of her open door.

To be honest, she didn't really look like she was enjoying any of the weird things the guy was doing to her.

It looked like a chore she had to finish and I felt so sorry for her. Sex is something not only one person has to enjoy.

It's about taking care of your partner and not only your own needs and desires.

Her fake moans showed me that I was right about my assumption of her not enjoying any of it.

When the guy finally came and pulled out of her, he laid down next to her.

"Did you came baby?". He asked and I rolled my eyes. If he has to ask, then definitely not. He would know if she would've came and she definitely didn't.

"Yes, I did". She said and fake smiled at him. I saw enough and distanced myself from her room, making my way downstairs to grab something to eat.

When I heard footsteps coming down the stairs my eyes snapped to the side to see Jihyo walking into the kitchen.

Her eyes widened though when she saw me sitting at the counter with a mouthful of my noodles.

"S-Sana since when are you here?". She asked me shocked, with a blush on her cheeks.

"Long enough". I scoffed and she looked to the side, like a little child who did something bad and is getting scolded.

"Did you- Did you hear anything like-".

"I didn't only hear, I saw it as well". I said shamelessly.

Her eyes widened.

"What do you mean you saw? My door was closed". She said.

"No, not really. I peeked through the crack of your door because you sounded like you were in pain". I said and shrugged with my shoulders.

"Are you serious? You can't just peek through my door when I'm-". She stopped mid sentence.

"When you're getting "fucked" by a dude?". I said and she glared at me.

"Seriously, what was that? You can't tell me you enjoyed this". I said and let out a laugh.

She glared at me even harder and balled her fists.

"Oh come on, don't get pissed at me. You should be pissed at him for not making you cum. Your moans weren't even real Ji". I said and her face was turning red.

"I know you want to scream at me right now, but you can't, because your little boy thing is upstairs. But trust me, if you would be mine, I would make you cum every time we would fuck". I said and put some of my noodles into my mouth.

Her face quickly switched from being angry to being flustered again.

"I felt so sorry for you. You looked like you were doing something that was on your bucket list or something like that". I said and took a sip from my soda.

"I can't believe you watched me having Sex".

"I wouldn't call it Sex but if that....thing you had there with him a few minutes ago is Sex to you, then I'm terribly sorry for you Ji". I said.

"I bet I could fuck you better than he did. At least you would finally know what it feels like to cum and enjoy Sex for once". I said jokingly.

"Jihyo?". I heard a masculine voice say, and when Jihyo's one night stand walked into the kitchen without a shirt on I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, here you are. Hey wassup". He said to me as if we are the best of friends.

"Hello". I just replied dryly and looked back at Jihyo.

"Hey, I don't feel so good". She said and turned around to look at him.

"Yeah, I bet you don't". I mumbled to myself, but when her head snapped to glare at me I raised my hands up in the air.

"Oh no". He said and stroked her cheek.

Ew, gross.

"Yeah, you should go home before I get you sick or something". She said and pushed him to the direction of the stairs.

"Oh umm okay". He said.

They both walked upstairs and a few minutes later came back downstairs.

He had his clothes back on and she walked with him to the door to say goodbye.

When the door shut close I heard her steps stomping back to the kitchen, which made me smirk.

"You better wash this smug look from your face Minatozaki Sana". She said and smacked my shoulder.

"How dare you say something like that? Let alone watching me with him".

"Please, as if I was enjoying seeing the whole scenario that was going on earlier. You didn't even enjoy it yourself and that says so much". I said and crossed my arms.

"You have absolutely no filter Sana". She said and scoffed.

"You're just scared that I would do much better than him. Because you know I would. I could make you cum tons of times. He couldn't even make you cum once". I said and her cheeks flushed again.

"Please, that's ridiculous". She said.

"Okay, how about we bet then? If I fuck you better than him, you admit that I'm better and if I don't, I will buy you dinner for two weeks".

"Come on, don't be stupid Sana. I won't sleep with you".

"I won't sleep with you either. I would fuck you. Hard. Make you cum. Make you feel good so you can enjoy it for once. That's what I would do". I said and she had to bite her lip.

"Come on, you're always so competitive. Why not now? Because you know I'm right". I said and leaned forward onto the kitchen counter.

"I'm not prepared now". She said and I looked at her as if she's joking right now.

"You aren't serious right now, are you?". I asked and walked closer to her.

"You prepare for Sex?". I asked and pulled her closer by her waist, which made her breath hitch.

"I- I mean- I". She stuttered and I liftet her on top of the kitchen counter.

"Jihyo, you can't prepare for Sex. It just happens". I said and slid my hands over her thighs.

I was standing between her legs now and when I looked up she was looking at me already.

I pulled her closer by her chin. When her plump lips pressed against mine, I let the desire take full control over me.

I pulled her closer, my arms wrapped around her petite waist. Her legs wrapped around my waist and her hands tangled into my hair.

When I slid out my tongue, she instantly made room for me to push it into her mouth.

I grabbed the back of her neck to keep her close and stroked her waist with my thumb. She let out a shaky breath when I sucked her tongue into my mouth and let it go after.

When I pulled away to look at her and she was looking at me with flushed cheeks and heavy breathing I felt my cock stirring in my pants.

"How was that?". I asked and slid some strands of her behind her ear. She blushed even more and looked away. I grabbed her chin between my fingers to make her look at me.

"Don't look away from me". I said and slid my thumb over her bottom lip.

"Now tell me, how was it?". I asked and pulled my thumb away.

"Good". She said and clenched her hands in her shorts.

"Good?". I asked and lifted a brow up.

"Really good". She said and smirked.

I bit my lip and couldn't help the smirk forming on my lips as well.

"I haven't even started yet". I said and she licked her lips.

"Let's go into your room. Let me show you how to get properly fucked on your bed". She nodded her head and slid down the counter.

I grabbed her hand and walked upstairs with her following right behind.

When we reached her room, I closed the door behind us and walked behind of her, to wrap my arms around her waist.

"Are you nervous?". I asked and turned her around, so she is looking at me.

"Yeah, a little". She said and I placed my hand on her heart.

"Yeah, are you sure about just a little?". I asked and she blushed again.

"Shut up". She whined and slapped my shoulder.

"Make me". I whispered in her ear and when her blush turned darker I smirked. I grabbed the bottom of her tight T-shirt and pulled it over her head.

I let the shirt fall to the ground and her naked chest was beautiful. Her hands covered her face, which made me smile.

"Don't hide from me. You're beautiful". I said and grabbed her hands to place them on my shoulder.

"You're really beautiful". I said and stroked her cheek with my thumb.

"Don't be ashamed of your body. You're perfect". I breathed out and grabbed her naked waist. I lifted her up, to lay her down onto the middle of her bed.

My fingers hooked under the waistband of her shorts and panties, to pull them both off in one swift motion.

She laid completely naked on her bed now. My dick was rock hard by now. I kneeled down in front of her bed.

"W-What are you doing?". She asked me shocked.

"Umm foreplay?". I said as if it's the most obvious thing ever.

I mean it was to me.

"O-Oh". She said.

"Don't tell me you never do foreplay before you sleep with a guy". I said and she looked ashamed to the side.

"Oh baby". I said and kissed the inside of her thighs.

"Let me show you how it's done. I'll make you feel so good". I said and grabbed her waist. My tongue was licking a path down her thick thighs, which made her gasp.

I also didn't want to tease the poor girl too much, so I stopped the teasing and sucked her clit into my mouth.

Her hips instantly bucked up and I held them down to lick her sweetness in my mouth.

"O-Oh my god". She shakily moaned out and threw her head back. I placed her legs on top of my shoulders and started pushing my tongue into her pussy.

"Fuck, Sana". She moaned and the way she said my name made me groan.

Her hands clenched into the sheets and when I started rubbing her clit while I was licking her, it didn't take too long for her to cum for the first time this night.

I sucked her cum up till the last drop and then kissed my way up her tummy. When my face was right in front of hers, she pulled me down by my shirt to press our lips together.

Her hands wrapped around the back of my neck. I pulled her up while we were kissing, so she's sitting at the edge of the bed.

I pulled away from her to catch my breath. Her breath was completely out of control, but so was mine. I started to take off my clothes and she never stopped looking away.

When I was naked as well, she grabbed my dick into her hand.

"No baby". I said and pushed her down so she's laying on her back again.

"This is all about you". I rasped out and pecked her lips. I kissed down her jaw and neck. My lips kissed down her throat, down to her breasts.

"Fuck, I love your titts". I said and sucked one nipple into my mouth. My other hand played with her other nipple. I bit softly into it, making her moan out loudly.

I stood back up, releasing her nipple with a plopp.

"Where are your condoms?". I asked.

"I-In my nightstand". She stuttered and pointed to her nightstand.

I took one out and had to grin.

"Strawberry flavour? I have to blain Chae for that". I said with a smirk, holding up the condom.

"What's wrong with that? I- I like strawberry's". She said with a blush.

"Whatever you say princess". I said and she blushed even more by the nickname.

I ripped the condom open with my teeth, my eyes never left hers. I pulled it over my erect shaft, till the very end.

I spit some saliva into my hand, moistening my cock. I grabbed her legs, putting them on top of my shoulders.

My tip slid through her soaking wet pussy.

"Are you ready Ji?". I asked and she just nodded her head.

I pushed into her slowly.

Opening her up inch by inch.

Her mouth opened in pure bliss.

"Fuck". I moaned out and waited a few seconds after I was completely inside of her. I grabbed her hips into my hands and started thrusting my hips.

"Mmm". She hummed out and grabbed my wrists. My thrusts turned a little faster, making her titts move with each thrust I made.

The sight I was having was heavenly.

"Does that feel good baby?". I asked and started pounding into her.

"Y-Yes so fucking good". She groaned out and threw her head back.

"Yeah, this is how he should've made you feel". I said and leaned forward, making her legs bend even more, giving me the opportunity to thrust even deeper.

Her mouth widely opened, releasing moan after moan.

"Look at me". I breathed out and her eyes opened, looking directly into mine. The vein on my forehead was turning thicker and thicker.

"Open your mouth." I said and she obliged.

I grabbed her chin with my fingers and spat into her mouth. She swallowed my spit, making me bite my lip.

"Mhm, good girl". I praised her and pecked her lips.

"Now cum for me baby". I said and wrapped my hand around her throat. I mercilessly started pounding her, and it didn't take long for her to cum the second time tonight.

"Mmm fuck". I groaned and let her ride out her orgasm. I pulled out of her, her own cum leaked out of her pussy.

"Fuck, look at this". I said and slid two fingers through her folds, collecting her cum. I put my fingers in my mouth and sucked them clean.

"Ass up baby". I said and quickly turned her around. Her face was pressed against her mattress, ass high up in the air.

"Mhm look at this ass". I said and smacked her right cheek.

She let out a cry.

I massaged her ass in my hands and spanked her left cheek this time.

"Do you like that Jihyo?". I asked and spanked her cheeks with both hands this time.

"Fuck, yes I love it". She whined out. I licked my lips and let my cock slip easily back inside of her pussy.

"Mmm you take me so well baby". I groaned out and grabbed her waist. My thrusts started off hard and deep, making her ass bounce.

"Tell me how good I'm fucking you". I said and picked up the pace.

"F-Fuck, you're fucking me so good". She cried out and pushed her ass back to meet my thrusts.

"Yeah, that's what I want to hear". I said and spanked her again.

"Now tell me who fucks you better".

I grabbed her hair with my hand, making her groan.

"You. You fuck me better Sana". She moaned. I let her fall back down against the mattress. I started fucking her so hard that our skin was slapping together harshly.

"Cum for me again baby. Be a good girl and cum all over my cock". I moaned out at how tight she was getting and spanked her again.

With a loud moan she squirted all over me.

I couldn't hold back and came as well, releasing my cum into the condom.

"Fuck". I breathed out and slipped carefully out of her. I took off the condom and threw it into the bin. I grabbed her wrists and pulled her up into a sitting position.

She was completely out of breath. Her chest was heavily pumping up and down.

"This is how to have Sex properly". I said and lifted her chin up to make her look at me.

"Since I'm not an asshole, I will buy you dinner either way". I said and smiled sweetly at her.

She smiled back at me, with the cute blush on her cheeks that I love so much.

"Thank you Sana". She said.

"For what? Dinner or the orgasms?". I asked with a teasing smirk.

"Both". She said and smirked back at me.

Third Person POV

Sana, Sana, Sana, Sana...

Jihyo placed her head in her hands. She let out a loud groan and let her face fall into her hands.

Why did she even do it? Why did she agree to this stupid bet Sana offered? And why did Jihyo never had this mind blowing Sex with someone than she had with Minatozaki Sana?

All she could think about was Sana.

Sana's voice, Sana's smile, Sana's laugh, Sana's eyes, Sana's smell, Sana's hands, Sana's lips, Sana's...

"GOD". Jihyo groaned out and rubbed her temples with her fingers.

"Just calm down Jihyo. You're just confused, it was just a one time thing, a stupid bet, nothing more". Jihyo mumbled to herself while she was staring at her MacBook.

She wanted to keep working on her assignment, but a specific Japanese girl kept sneaking into her head.

She took a large sip from her red wine and took a deep breath after she swallowed the red, bitter liquor. Her lips were covered in a bordeaux red, her cheeks were tainted in a pink blush and she was at her third glass of red wine already.

Sana, Sana, Sana, Sana...

"Fuck this". Jihyo cursed and slammed her MacBook shut.

She grabbed her glass and made her way into the kitchen, to refill it for the fourth time this evening.

"How about some water?". She heard an all to familiar voice say behind her. She flinched at the sudden attendance of another person in the room and turned around to look into cinnamon eyes.

"Jesus, you scared me". Jihyo mumbled and placed her glass down on the kitchen island.

"What are you doing here? I thought you're out with Momo and Mina?". Jihyo asked and sat on a chair in front of Sana.

"They ditched me, that's the problem of having two friends who are dating. You're always third wheeling". Sana giggled and took a spoonful of the food she was eating.

"Yeah I feel you. Nayeon and Jeongyeon are always together, it's like they're glued together or something". Jihyo smiled.

"What about you? Aren't you into someone at the moment? How about your little boy toy that was here a few days ago?". Sana smirked and Jihyo blushed crimson red.

This was the first time, after that day where the both of them slept together, that one of them brought up the topic.

"He was just a fun time, nothing more". Jihyo mumbled and took another sip of her wine.

"Well, a fun time looks different to me, but we talked about this already. I mean I showed you instead of talked to you, but you get the point". Sana smirked and Jihyo had to bite her lip.

This god damn smirk.

"You're so full of yourself". Jihyo scoffed and this made Sana smirk even more.

"Am I wrong though? I know you enjoyed it, you didn't only enjoy it, you loved it". Sana said and took a sip of her soda.

"I mean, you weren't that bad, it was alright".

Sana just stared at her after this.

"Jihyo, by all dear respect, the way your eyes rolled back each time I fucked into you gives me the feeling that it wasn't just alright".

Jihyo's mouth was hanging open in shock at Sana's straightforwardness.

"I'm not having this conversation with you right now". Jihyo said and stood up to walk back into her room, but Sana grabbed her wrist.

"Why not? Why are you running away from it?". Sana asked and stood up, to press Jihyo into the kitchen island.

"I-I'm not running away from it, why should I?". Jihyo stuttered out and Sana let her hands slide down Jihyo's thighs, to lift her up so she's sitting on top of the counter.

"Sana-". Jihyo wanted to say more, but Sana shushed her with her lips. She wrapped her arms around Jihyo's waist to pull her closer against her body.

"Come on Ji, we had so much fun, don't you agree? You don't have someone right now, I don't have someone right now, let's just keep each other company, let me make you relax and feel good". Sana mumbled against Jihyo's lips.

Jihyo felt torn, she didn't know if she should give into Sana or if she should stop this, whatever this is.

"You can be so charming if you want something". Jihyo whispered before she pulled Sana into another kiss. She could feel the smirk forming on Sana's lips while they were kissing, which made Jihyo grin as well.

"I know, and right now I want you, do you want me too?". Sana asked and let her thumb caress Jihyo's cheek.

More than anything...

"Yes". Jihyo breathed out and this was all Sana needed to hear. She lifted Jihyo up, to carry her into her room.

The smell of Sana's vanilla scent filled Jihyo's nose as soon her back hit Sana's soft mattress.

All she could feel was Sana.

"I've been thinking about this night every day". Sana breathed out while she started undressing herself, Jihyo was watching with hungry eyes.

"Me too". Jihyo confessed and her breath hitched when Sana was completely exposed to her. Her eyes darted down and she couldn't help to reach her hand out, to wrap her hand around Sana's already hard cock.

"Every time I touched myself at night, I thought about you fucking me". Jihyo said and started pumping her hand up and down.

"Shit". Sana breathed out and licked her lips while she watched Jihyo jerking her off.

"Your hand feels so good". Sana moaned out. She thought about this for so long, thought about Jihyo touching her like this.

"My mouth will feel even better". Jihyo smirked, before she sucked Sana into her mouth. Sana's mouth gaped open and she fisted her hand into Jihyo's hair.

Jihyo pulled Sana closer by her waist, which made Sana's cock push even deeper into her mouth.

"Holy shit". Sana groaned and started thrusting into Jihyo's mouth.

"You're so sexy". Sana breathed out and she had to bite her lip when Jihyo looked up at her with teary eyes.

"Your mouth feels so good baby". Sana moaned and Jihyo felt the wetness forming between her legs at the nickname.

"I'm close". Sana warned, but Jihyo kept sucking her. She wanted Sana's cum in her mouth.

"Ji, I'm gonna cum, fuck". Sana rasped out and a few seconds later she came into Jihyo's mouth. Jihyo greedily swallowed Sana's cum and took her slowly out of her mouth after she was done.

"You're amazing". Sana said before she pulled Jihyo into another kiss. Jihyo knelt up on the bed, to wrap her arms around Sana's neck.

"I know what I'm doing". Jihyo smirked and this made Sana smirk as well.

"Yeah, I can tell". Sana grinned and then switched their positions, so Jihyo is straddling her lap.

"You're so beautiful". Sana breathed out and caressed Jihyo's cheek again.

This made Jihyo's heart nearly explode. Sana made her feel so good, so wanted, so appreciated and so...loved.

"So are you". Jihyo rasped out, before she kissed Sana again. This was probably Jihyo's most favourite thing now, kissing Minatozaki Sana.

Their lips fitted perfectly together. Sana responded to Jihyo's kisses so well, as if she was destined to be kissed by Jihyo.

"You drive me crazy". Sana mumbled against Jihyo's lips, and Jihyo couldn't stop blushing.

"I mean look at you, the way you're looking at me, with your dark beautiful eyes. How can I not get week knees at this". Sana said and let her thumb run over Jihyo's bottom lip.

"I love the way you make me feel". Jihyo breathed out and Sana's hands started caressing her body.

"How am I making you feel, baby?". Sana asked and slowly grabbed the rim of Jihyo's oversized shirt, to take it off.

Jihyo wasn't wearing a bra, so when the shirt came off, Sana was left staring at Jihyo's naked chest.

"You make me feel like the most beautiful girl and it feels so good". Jihyo confessed and Sana couldn't help but genuinely smile at this.

"You are the most beautiful girl, Park Jihyo". Sana softly said and kissed Jihyo's forehead, to show Jihyo that she really means it.

"Now let me show you how beautiful I think you are". Sana breathed out, before she started kissing down Jihyo's neck.

"Yes, please". Jihyo shakily breathed out and craned her neck, to give Sana more space.

Sana turned them back around, so Jihyo's back is resting against the mattress again. Sana leaned down, to kiss a path down Jihyo's tummy, down her hips and over her hipbones. Her fingers quickly slid under the waistband of Jihyo's shorts, to pull them down her legs.

Jihyo was left with only her black panties on now, her chest was heaving up and down a little bit faster than normal.

"May I?". Sana asked, while her fingers slid under the waistband of Jihyo's panties. Jihyo only nodded her head, she didn't trust her voice right now.

So Sana slowly took off the last bit of Jihyo's clothing, leaving her naked on top of her bed. Sana's eyes hungrily took in Jihyo's naked body.

God really took his sweet time on her.

"I think you got me addicted". Sana breathed out before she knelt down on the floor, to grab Jihyo's legs to put them over her shoulders.

"I should return the favour, don't you agree?". Sana asked and Jihyo just stared at her with hooded eyes and opened mouth.

"Please". Jihyo barely breathed out and Sana dived right in. She let her flat tongue run up and down Jihyo's pussy, her salty taste flooded Sana's mouth and she was loving every second of it.

"Yes". Jihyo cried out and clenched her hands into the sheets, her eyes never stopped watching Sana. Sana hummed against her pussy and this send waves of electricity through Jihyo's entire body.

"That feels so good, please don't stop". Jihyo whined after Sana started sucking her clit into her mouth. Sana grabbed Jihyo's legs to spread them completely apart. She groaned at the sight of Jihyo's pussy being so spread out for her and pushed her tongue completely inside of her, to tongue fuck her.

"H-Holy shit". Jihyo groaned out and threw her head back. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her hips started moving on its own. Jihyo's mind was completely blank, all she thought about was chasing the orgasm she was about to experience.

"I'm gonna cum". She cried out and her mouth shot completely open when she felt two fingers thrusting in and out of her.

"Yes, cum for me". Sana hummed, her fingers kept moving in and out of Jihyo. Seeing Jihyo fall apart was probably the most beautiful scene she has ever witnessed.

It didn't take any longer than a few more thrusts for Jihyo to cum all over Sana's fingers.

"Mhm, that's a good girl". Sana said and Jihyo let out a moan at this nickname.

Sana slowly pulled her finger out of Jihyo, to suck them clean. She hummed because of the taste and then slowly removed them from her lips.

"You taste so good". Sana rasped out and then knelt between Jihyo's spread legs. She let her tip run up and down Jihyo's pussy, the moist noises it made was so lewd but also so hot.

"Fuck me". Jihyo mumbled and clenched her hands in the sheets.

"What? I can't hear you". Sana's voice was so low, the teasing smirk on her lips drove Jihyo crazy. She heard her the first time, she just wanted to hear her say it again.

"Please fuck me". Jihyo cried out and Sana barely let her finish the sentence, before she pushed her dick completely inside of her, instantly starting to fuck into Jihyo at a fast pace.

"Mmm yes". Sana hummed and grabbed Jihyo's hips with her hands, to thrust even deeper into her. Sana watched Jihyo's titts move with each thrust she did, and it drove her completely insane.

"Fuck, yes". Jihyo moaned out and grabbed Sana's forearm's with her own hands.

"Yeah? Is that good?". Sana asked and all Jihyo could do was cry out in pleasure. Her eyes began to tear up because it felt so good.

Sana rubbed her thumb over Jihyo's clit, her hips started meeting Sana's thrusts and her jaw was slacked, mouth wide open, letting out these sweet noises Sana got addict to already.

"Mmm look at you, such a pretty girl". Sana husked out and this made Jihyo's pussy clench around her cock.

"Oh, you liked hearing that baby?". Sana smirked and Jihyo let out another whine.

"I'm close". Jihyo breathed out and clenched her nails into Sana's arm. Sana bit her lip and pushed Jihyo's legs a little bit more up, so Jihyo's thighs were pressed against her own chest.

Sana began pounding into her, their skin was slapping together harshly and Sana could feel her abs burn by how hard and fast she was fucking her.

"I'm gonna cum". Jihyo squealed out and Sana grabbed Jihyo's hand to place it on top of her clit.

Jihyo understood what Sana wanted from her, so she quickly rubbed her clit with her middle and pointer finger.

"Fuck, I have to pee Sana, stop". Jihyo breathed out, but Sana pushed her down with her hand wrapped around Jihyo's throat, making her eyes almost pop out of her head.

"No, you don't have to pee. Just let go for me baby". Sana whispered in her ear, making Jihyo shiver.

The rasp to Sana's voice and the way Sana's cock was plunging in and out of her was too much, so she let go and squirted all over Sana's cock and thighs.

"Mmm fuck, yes". Sana groaned and leaned down to kiss her. She kept thrusting into her slowly, to let her ride out her orgasm.

Jihyo could barely function, her legs were shaking and her arms tightly wrapped around Sana's neck.

"You're so hot". Sana breathed out against her lips and then turned them around, so Jihyo is straddling her lap with Sana's cock still buried inside of her.

Jihyo was so out of breath. She never experienced something like this. Sana caressed her back softly, letting her nails run up and down Jihyo's spine, which made her hips buck.

"Are you okay?". Sana asked and moved her hands up and down Jihyo's thick thighs.

"Mhm, just...need a few seconds". Jihyo shakily breathed out and smiled afterwards.

Sana rested her back against the headboard and rubbed Jihyo's hips with the pads of her thumbs.

"Kiss me". Jihyo rasped out and Sana nearly came at the way she said that.

Sana pulled Jihyo into a kiss by the back of her neck. Jihyo placed her hands on Sana's stomach and slowly rose up, to then sink back down onto Sana's dick.

"Mmm fuck Ji". Sana moaned out and smirked afterwards. Jihyo licked her lips and looked at Sana with dark eyes.

Sana was on cloud nine. Her jaw was slacked and her brows were knitted together. The way Jihyo clenched around her cock felt sinfully good.

"Does that feel good?". Jihyo asked and started to pick up the pace. Sana's eyes closed and she tightly gripped Jihyo's hips with her hands.

"Mhm, really good baby. You're doing so good for me". Sana moaned out. Jihyo bit her lip and then placed her hands behind of her, one hand on each side of Sana's legs. She threw her head back and started slamming up and down on Sana's cock.

Sana's eyes widened and her body felt like it was burning up her entire insides.

"I-I can't hold myself up any longer, please". Jihyo cried out and Sana could see her legs trembling already.

"It's okay baby, come here". She said and pulled Jihyo closer by her waist. Sana bend her knees up and wrapped her arms completely around Jihyo's waist. Jihyo's face was pressed in the crook of Sana's neck and then Sana started pounding into her.

"Sana-". Jihyo cried out and she was moaning straight into Sana's ear. Every tiny sound Jihyo made went straight into Sana's ear and it made her eyes roll back.

"Cum for me baby, one last time". Sana whined out and spanked Jihyo's ass hard.

Jihyo let out one last scream before she came all over Sana's dick again, clenching harshly around Sana's length.

"Mmm fuck". Sana moaned and then pulled out of Jihyo, to cum all over her ass.

They were both panting heavily, both completely exhausted and out of breath. Jihyo slowly climbed off Sana's lap, to lay next to her.

"Fuck, that was amazing". Jihyo breathed out.

"Not just alright?". Sana asked with a playful smirk on her lips, clearly referring to the thing Jihyo had said earlier.

Jihyo smirked back at her and let her fingers run up and down the space of Sana's boobs while she was looking up at her.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, I definitely did". Sana said and wrapped her arm around Jihyo's shoulder, making Jihyo's face rest on Sana's shoulder.

"You know, I always thought that it's bad that I'm such a competitive person. But now I'm glad I am". Jihyo said and caressed Sana's collarbones.

"Because you wouldn't have accepted the bet if you wouldn't be one?". Sana asked and she just nodded.

"Well, thank god you are one then". Sana said and they both started giggling, snuggling deeper into each others bodies.

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Four // Wanda Maximoff

chapter three | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter five

author’s note: I hope you all don’t mind the slow burn because it’s like my favourite thing and i promise things will get spicy soon 😂

Since my rather abrupt revelation about Wanda, I found myself racked with guilt.

Not because she was a girl – I couldn't help my feelings in that sense – but because she was my brother's fiancé. And every time he came to me, gushing about how great of a date they had or how much he was falling for her, the guilt hit me like a sharp pain in the chest, because I understood what he was saying. I felt the same.

And it didn't help when they would occasionally go on dates in front of me, and all I could feel was an unexplainable jealousy in the pit of my stomach. I had no right to feel like this when she was an engaged woman. Her naturally flirtatious personality was simply that: a personality. And even though we'd had a genuinely lovely day a week ago when she invited me to her home, it was no reason for me to think of her in such a way.

The next date on Y/B/N and Wanda's journey to marriage was at our house in the garden. I wasn't actually aware of it until I saw them sat on some garden furniture.

My mum wanted me to help her with some gardening and I found her kneeling by some plant pots, a fair distance away from Wanda and my brother. As I approached her, I glanced in the couple's direction, seeing them sat opposite one another and enjoying a selection of finger foods and tea. They were far away enough to have privacy, but close enough for me to make out their expressions.

"For goodness sake, Y/N," my mother said when I kneeled down beside her to help. "Do you have to wear those horrendous trousers?"

I rolled my eyes, sitting on the ground comfortably. "I'm curious, mother. Do you like anything that I do?"

She gave me a disapproving glance. "I'm only looking out for you, dear. That outfit is very... unladylike."

"Well, they're comfortable," I quipped, before grabbing a spade and getting to work.

"So are dresses," she pointed out, continuing repotting her plants. "And they're prettier, too."

"Considering I have to wear a dress all the time and that I'm in the comfort of my own home, I'm going to pretend you didn't just make me feel bad for wearing these."

She didn't say anything, but I could tell she wasn't happy. I didn't mind wearing dresses, but I would be lying if I said trousers weren't more comfortable. The only time I could wear them was at home when doing chores or simply lounging around. I'd make the most of it whilst I could, no matter what comments my mother made.

I wasn't afraid to get my hands dirty as I helped her repot the plants before digging into the soil and planting some seeds she'd bought this morning. My mother, despite adoring gardening, hated getting messy, so you can imagine the look on her face when I got soil all over my clothes.

"I wish you would act like a lady sometimes," she mumbled to herself, but I didn't let it faze me. It was all I heard, so I was used to it.

Laughter sounded from behind us and I risked glancing back, seeing Wanda laughing at something Y/B/N said. I rolled my eyes subconsciously before looking back to what I was doing. My fingernails dug into the soil with irritation, directed at them and also myself. Though, despite my irritation, I still had an urge to glance back at Wanda, and when I did she was looking my way this time. A mere glance on her part, but she directed a smile my way before looking to my brother again.

I'd like to say that was it, but I continued to steal glances of her as I worked alongside my mum, taking what I could get as I admired her from afar.

She looked stunning today, as she always did. Her long curls were left out, flowing over her shoulders and pretty green dress; I wasn't close enough to be able to tell, but I was sure that her dress complimented her eyes. A dark forest green colour with golden flecks, matching the deep green of her dress. Or so I assumed.

"They seem like they're getting on well," my mum said at one point, earning my attention. She was talking about Y/B/N and Wanda as she continued, "They make such a lovely couple."

I swallowed hard, nodding lamely. "They sure do, mum."

She gave me a sideways glance. "You know, your brother will be married soon and then it will be your turn."

I groaned quietly, knowing where this was going. There was no point trying to stop her because once she started, that was it.

"You can't just keep locking yourself in your room and writing stories," she was saying, but I attempted to tune her out which sometimes felt impossible since she had no off button and her shrill voice always managed to break through my bubble. "You have to find a husband. An actual person who you can marry and who can take care of you."

"I can take care of myself."

"Y/N, you know that's not what I mean..." but I stopped listening as she got started going on another ramble about the benefits of having a husband.

Instead, my eyes darted around the garden until they naturally gravitated towards Wanda. It was definitely the wrong time to get distracted by her though, since she seemed to be sucking some food off her thumb. As she did, her eyes found mine and she took that as her opportunity to wink in my direction playfully, hiding a smile as her thumb remained between her teeth. Y/B/N didn't seem to notice, as he was looking the other way, and I felt my cheeks heating up as I looked away quickly, remembering my dream.

She's going to marry your brother. She's going to marry your brother. She's going to marry your brother.

A stupid mantra that didn't work, but I attempted to drill it into my brain anyway.

"...and it would be nice to be able to do all the wedding stuff for you next time around," my mum continued to ramble, unaware of my flustered self.

The image of Wanda sucking her thumb was permanently engraved in my head and I struggled to wish it away. No more staring for today, I told myself, before getting lost in gardening again.

After ten more minutes of nonstop nattering about finding a husband for me, my mother excused herself to refill the watering can. I was grateful for her momentary absence, appreciating the silence and lack of guilt-tripping. Until I heard footsteps behind me shortly after, making me groan loudly.

"I'm not finding a husband right now!" I snapped, unable to take it any longer. But when I spun around to give her a piece of my mind, my mouth hung open like a fish out of water.

"I'd sure hope not," Wanda answered with a stifled laugh. "Then I'd have to share your company with somebody else."

Closing my mouth and standing up, I cleared my throat. "Sorry. I thought you were my mum."

She nodded, eyes roaming my whole body for a second, making me nervous under her stare. I hadn't actually seen her since my inappropriate dream and it was growing increasingly difficult to be so close to her without thinking about it.

"I figured. I just wanted to say hi," she said, expression softening as she met my eyes.

I was right about the dress bringing her eyes out more. A forest green colour, as I'd predicted.

"Hi," I said, giving her a small, nervous smile. "Erm, how is your date going?"

She shrugged, raising her hand to hold her forearm comfortably. "It's okay. It's wonderful out here, I'll give him that."

Relaxing into the conversation, my awkwardness fading already, I smiled in agreement. "Yeah, it is pretty."

A smirk appeared on her lips. "Yeah. So are the gardeners."

Admittedly, it took me a few seconds longer than it should have to realise she was talking about me. When I did, I felt a heat creeping up my neck and to my face and looked to the grass to distract myself. See, when she did stuff like that, it made me question a hell of a lot.

She chuckled. "So, gardening. Another dislike of yours?"

I shook my head, risking looking back up to her. "No, actually. I don't mind it. I'm just not a fan when it gives my mother an opportunity to discuss marriage."

Wanda's interested was piqued as she quirked a brow. "Oh? Your mother has suitors for you?"

I squeezed my eyes shut at the possibility, shaking my head. "I'd rather not ask, Wanda."

She let out a short laugh. "You've got time anyway. At least until Y/B/N and I are married."

I hoped she didn't see the involuntary wince I did at the mention of that. "Honestly, I'm not even thinking about that now... I'm nowhere near ready for that."

"Would you not want to get married?" she asked curiously, tilting her head to the side.

I sighed, looking around, unable to keep my eyes still. "I don't know, I guess? Eventually? But to somebody I love, not some arranged marriage just for the sake of it." My words sank in quite quickly and I straightened up, instantly looking to Wanda with apologetic eyes. "Bloody hell, that is not what I meant to say–"

"It's fine," she reassured me with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I get it. And, well, you're not wrong."

I smiled halfheartedly, the guilt at my previous words still present. I could honestly say that I wasn't aiming that comment at her, but I wouldn't blame her if she took it that way.

"It's important to fall in love with the person you marry," she said, gaze locked on mine. "You have to learn about them, who they are. Their likes, their dislikes. Their personality. If they have a sense of humour or if they're as dry as cardboard. If they're into you as much as you're into them."

Nodding slowly, I wasn't sure what to say. My mouth went dry the longer she watched me, eyes dancing with an emotion I couldn't recognise. Then her eyes fell to my lips and my knees began to shake subtly, wanting to give in because of how confused I was.

"Y/N, dear, don't dirty Wanda's dress with your muddy hands!" my mum called, breaking the strange silence that had built between the brunette and I.

Stepping back with realisation (and grateful for the interruption), I wiped my hands on my shirt subconsciously, making a further mess of my already mud-stained clothes. "Sorry."

When I looked up, Wanda was chewing on her lip, eyes doing a once over on me yet again. It was moments like this when I couldn't tell if she was teasing me or if she actually had an interest in me, maybe, like that.

"Wanda, honey, let's get you inside," my mum spoke, approaching the two of us and looking to her.

Nodding, Wanda glanced at me once more, shooting me a sweet smile, before being led away by my mum. I breathed out slowly, knowing it was wrong of me to feel this way about her. But it was hard not to fall for her when she had so much about her that was interesting.

Her passion for art, her teasing, playful attitude, her sense of humour... and then there were the physical aspects, like her beaming smile, her luxuriant brown hair and her entrancing hazel eyes. She was literally perfect and my brother was one lucky man. For once in my life, I was actually jealous of something he had that I didn't.

"Y/N!"

Speaking of the devil...

"Y/B/N, hey," I said with a smile as he approached me with an extra jump in his step. "What's up?"

Grin on his lips, he smacked my arm. "Did you see, Wanda? Didn't she look stunning?"

The guilt was cutting real deep. "She did."

"I think I'm in love," he gushed, eyes rolling backwards with delight. "She's perfect, Y/N, you don't get it."

"I can imagine...," I mumbled, but he barely noticed, too lovestruck to realise.

"Every date I've been on with her has been amazing," he continued. "If we weren't already engaged, I would've proposed!"

I raised my eyebrows with surprise, definitely not expecting this. He'd made his attraction to her known since the moment we'd met her, constantly talking about how gorgeous she was, but he'd never sounded happier than he did now.

"Mum adores her," he said with a content smile. "Dad would probably marry her if we was thirty years younger. And you–" He looked to me gratefully. "You're making an effort and I appreciate it."

Oh, God, the guilt was overwhelming.

"Everything is going perfectly," he finished with a sigh. "I just– I can't wait to marry her, Y/N."

I smiled for his sake, but my insides were shrivelling up and failing me. I was a horrible person, wasn't I? What kind of monster falls for her brother's fiancé? Me. I'm the monster. But not anymore. I couldn't let this get out of hand. I had to do better.

I promised myself I'd do better.

—

Doing better was going well, I'd like to think. I mean, it had only been two weeks, so I couldn't guarantee, but I was no longer having... thoughts... about the Maximoff in question.

Yes, there was that familiar inkling of jealousy tugging away in my stomach whenever Y/B/N would talk about her, but I think I was getting better at ignoring it. I had convinced myself that my feelings towards Wanda were not true but merely a schoolgirl crush (which I wasn't allowed to have, but still) and that I'd get over it after some time.

I'd liked, maybe two girls in my life before her. The first being when I was a child, about five, and a girl in my class did something different to her hair. If I remember correctly, she always had one ponytail that sat at the back of her neck, then one day, she came in with two braids down her head and it really wasn't a massive change, but five year old me developed a huge crush on her. That was when I learnt that a girl liking a girl was not only forbidden, but viewed as a sin.

The second girl I liked was in my Literature class in secondary school. She was probably the first person I'd fallen for in a way that was considered more than a simple crush. Something about her way with words was so attractive to me, as was the cute smile she'd send my way whenever she'd be my partner for an assignment. I never told her how I felt for she only ever treated me as a friend and the last thing I wanted was to bring shame to my family for liking girls.

Those instances, and the fact that I regularly found myself admiring women in a way I found incapable with men, made me realise I was different and I always would be. And so, the chatter about finding a husband and getting married always scared me because I was afraid that I'd be stuck in a place that I would never get to be myself in. Even though that was the reality of most women anyway.

So, in addition to the fact that it was wrong of me to like women (though it felt anything but) and that the woman I liked now was my brother's fiancé, I convinced myself it was just a mere crush I had on Wanda. She was a pretty girl with an attractive personality and that was it.

Or so I thought.

"Go get your brother, Y/N," my mum said one evening. "He's in his study. Dinner is almost ready."

I nodded and headed to my brother's study across the hall. He was sat at his desk, focusing on something specific that he was writing and barely acknowledging my presence. I glanced around the room, taking in the bookshelves filled with manuscripts, both published and unpublished, and notebooks of ideas piled on desks.

I wasn't jealous of this place, I really wasn't. And I wasn't jealous of my brother either, even when he got credit for things I'd written. I was just angry and hurt that I couldn't have the some privileges he got, such as his own personal study to write whatever he pleased.

"Dinner's almost ready," I called to him from the doorway. "C'mon."

He didn't turn around as he answered, "I'll be with you, one second."

Curious to what had captured his attention, I pushed myself from the doorway and approached his desk. He had a lamp turned on, the yellow light lighting the page he was scribbling on. I peeked over his shoulder and saw him pause from writing, stuck in thought. It gave me the chance to read some words and I tried not to laugh.

"Oh my god, is that a love letter?"

Surprised at my presence, he covered the page with his elbows and leaned on them, looking to me with red cheeks.

"What? No, that's... no," he stumbled out, shaking his head.

Stifled smile on my lips, I looked to him with humoured eyes. "You have to let me read it."

He shook his head frantically, trying to play it cool. "I don't think I can do that."

Well, now I was really curious.

"C'mon, I've read pretty much everything you've ever written," I told him, perching myself on the edge of his desk. "Just a little read and I'll drop it."

Pondering my words, he slowly began to straighten up, uncovering the page. With a sigh of submission, he nodded to it, wordlessly giving me permission to look. I grinned, grabbing the page and holding it to the light so I could read it.

It was mostly ramblings – unfinished sentences, phrases, clauses – but it was all about a certain someone, a love letter as I predicted. It talked about this person's body and lips and humour and fingers and because I was so caught up in teasing my brother, I failed to realise that I was reading about Wanda. At least until it mentioned her accent.

My smile faded when I saw the way he wrote about her, with such passion and ferocity and– he was seriously in love with her. And it may or may not have stung a little because everything he'd written was accurate and I felt the same way. Well, not the in love bit, but pretty much everything else.

"So? Is it bad?" he asked nervously, and I lowered the page to see he was waiting for a verdict. "It's messy, I know. I was just journaling and then it kind of happened."

"It's sweet," I told him truthfully, offering him a reassuring smile.

His shoulders relaxed as I put the page back on the desk before him. "Thank you, Y/N." He paused, before glancing up at me sheepishly. "Now that you're here, you may as well tell me if there's anything I can do to improve."

I raised my eyebrows. "Why? Are you planning on giving this to her?"

He shook his head instantly. "No, oh God, no. That would be severely humiliating. I just thought you could help me for me. You always make my writing better."

I snickered, shaking my head with amusement. Behind the scenes was where I thrived apparently.

"Quickly," I told him as he held out the paper to me. "Mum is waiting for us."

He nodded obediently and I took the paper from his grasp, getting another look at it. Skimming it with my eyes yet again, I found the first criticism and pointed to it so he could see.

"This bit here," I said gently. "You talk about her eyes and say they're magnetic."

"Is that not good?" he asked with a frown.

"It is, it is," I said politely, not wanting to offend him. "But that's all you've written. You want to give the reader a reason to believe you. Why are they magnetic? What about them do you find yourself attracted to?"

He nodded, seeming to get it. Leaning back in his seat, he had a think. I waited patiently, curious to what he would come up with, but then he sighed defeatedly and looked to me.

"What would you write?" he asked, and I smiled with disbelief. It always ended up like this. Me helping him, challenging him with a thought, then him ending up using what I say.

"Okay, let me think," I said, crossing my arms and staring ahead. "Wanda's eyes."

"Here," Y/B/N said, making a gesture to placing something invisible on my head. When I quirked a brow of confusion, he added, "It's your thinking cap."

I rolled my eyes but laughed quietly at his stupidity, then tried to think about what to describe Wanda's eyes as.

It wasn't difficult to imagine them despite having not seen them in a few days. They were always bright, animated, lively. Whether it was green, blue or brown, they were irresistible and as my brother wrote, they were magnetic.

I breathed out, speaking from the heart without thinking. "When Wanda Maximoff looks into your eyes it's like she holds all of the elements in a single gaze. At times, they're greener than the earth itself, captivating and tranquil and daring you to look away. But then they're also bluer than the brightest of skies and darkest of oceans, deep and and liberating and easy for you to get swallowed up in."

A smile fell on my lips at the thought. She truly was something.

I continued slowly, "In the light, you can make out golden flecks, like the first sliver of the sun in Spring. It's hopeful and guiding and fills you with warmth. But what isn't obvious upon first glance is how tempestuous they are, like air itself. She's got a passion behind her eyes that is scary at first, but when you get to know her, you realise that it's a storm worth raging."

It went quiet when I finished and I zoned back into reality, Wanda's eyes blinking away from my mind in an instant. I pursed my lips and looked to Y/B/N with mild concern, realising just how much I'd rambled. He raised his eyebrows with surprise, staring at me.

"Y/N, that was amazing! How did you think of that?" he asked in bewilderment.

I shrugged, feeling my face heat up with embarrassment. "I don't know. I just thought about a random set of hazel eyes and applied my thoughts to it."

He smiled, impressed. "Amazing. I love it."

Grabbing a pen, he began to write furiously on the page and I stood up, dusting myself off.

"You sure that's not going to her?" I asked, still feeling fuzzy from what I'd said and hoping she'd never see it.

"Very sure," he promised, not looking up. "It's just for me."

I studied him judgementally. "Okay, well, maybe get rid of that part about her breasts then. It's a little creepy."

He looked up to me with a boyish grin. "I'm only a man, Y/N. Can you blame me?"

I rolled my eyes, shuddering at what he was implying. The mere implication of a thought of him and Wanda... nope, I didn't want to go there.

"I'll see you at dinner," I said, pointing a thumb over my shoulder. "Try to hurry, yeah?"

"Yes, I'll be right with you," he assured me, his hand moving in a flurry as he wrote. "Just writing what you said so I don't forget. Could be good for a future book, who knows?"

I forced a smile, humming in agreement. "Right. Well, I'll see you at the table."

He nodded and I left his room, letting out a deep breath. Just another day in the Y/L/N household.

—

Popping into town for errands was surprisingly not a task I found boring. If anything, I preferred it, using it as a chance to get away from my mother's incessant marriage-related conversations and my father's constant praising for anything Y/B/N did. Nowadays, it was also a way to escape anything wedding-related, which was a plus.

This time, I was only nipping out to return a book to the library, but my mum caught me before leaving and asked me to deliver some letters to the post office since I was already heading that way. Happy to prolong this outing as much as possible, I accepted the errand and headed to the post office after returning my book.

When I was there, an advertisement caught my eye. A chalkboard outside the store displayed a deal the train station were doing. I probably would have ignored it if it weren't for the mention of Blackpool.

2 FOR 1 ON BLACKPOOL TRAIN TICKETS THIS WEEKEND

Remembering my conversation with Wanda, I realised I hadn't actually followed up with her on my promise of taking her there to paint. She probably didn't even remember, since it was a while ago when we spoke of it, but the idea of going there with her made me excited. Was it stupid to get the tickets? Probably. But did I go inside and get them? Of course.

It was only when I got home did I realise how silly it was. Would she even want to go? What if she made an excuse to get out of it? Oh, this whole thing was stupid. I was overthinking it. Friends went on day trips all the time, it's wasn't a big deal.

To my surprise, when I poked my head into the living room to tell my mum I'd posted her letters, Wanda was sat on the couch with her. They were drinking some tea and having scones, chatting away. I'd called my mum before noticing, so when they looked my way, I clumsily entered and straightened up to make myself look presentable.

"Sorry, I didn't know you had company," I apologised with an awkward smile, eyes flickering to a smiling Wanda before looking to my mum. "I just wanted to let you know that I dropped the letters off by the post office."

"Perfect, Y/N, thank you," she said in response, before looking to the setup before her. "You can join us if you'd like."

I was quick to smile gratefully, though shook my head. "It's okay, you guys enjoy. I'll just be in my room if you need me."

My mum shrugged, sipping her tea, and Wanda watched me with a small smile, nodding in greeting, before looking away. I licked my lips uncomfortably before backing out the room and heading upstairs.

I was working on yet another manuscript that wouldn't see the light of day at my desk when I heard a knock on my door about an hour later.

"Come in!" I called, not looking up.

The door opened and I finished my train of thought before turning around, surprised to see Wanda walking into my room.

"Oh, hi," I got out suddenly, words falling from my mouth without me thinking first.

She smiled softly, stopping before me. "Hey. I'm heading home now, but I just wanted to say goodbye."

I stared at her, forgetting how to speak because she was wearing a lovely floral dress that complimented her figure perfectly.

"Oh, and I thought you might like these," she added before forgetting, then held out a box towards me.

Recovering from my initial stupor, I reached out and accepted the box, realising they were chocolates.

"I got them for your mum, but she said she's not a fan of hazelnut," she explained, and I looked up to see her looking elsewhere with a nervous smile on her lips. "You don't have to have them of course. I can just... eat them myself."

An amused smile tugged at my lips as I quirked a brow. "You'd eat them all yourself?"

She was very much aware of how silly she sounded, but she was adamant on appearing confident, so she nodded with certainty. "Yes... apparently I would."

Lighthearted laughter escaped my lips as I set the box to the side. She was trying to stand her ground, but then she sighed and began to laugh, too. My heart fluttered in my chest at the sound and I appreciated the crinkle by her eyes when her smile widened.

"Thank you," I said, settling on a smile as I watched her with amusement.

She nodded, smile of her own still present, before pointing behind her. "I'll, erm, go now."

When she turned to leave, I felt inclined to say, "Wait!"

She paused, turning around patiently, and I knew there was no going back now. Standing up, I grabbed my purse from the side and pulled out the train tickets.

"When I was out today, I saw that the train station were doing this deal on tickets to Blackpool," I started, hoping she couldn't see my hands trembling slightly. "And I remembered that I promised to take you so you could see the water." I closed my eyes, praying that this wouldn't be a mistake, before opening them and looking to Wanda. "We can go, if you'd still like to." 

She raised her eyebrows, eyes glued to the tickets in my hand. No words were being said and my heart thumped in my chest with the realisation that I may have done something insanely stupid. Before I could even think to apologise, a grin spread across her face and her dazzling blue eyes met mine, freezing me in place.

"Are you serious? Y/N, I'd love to!" she exclaimed, then proceeded to launch herself onto me, arms wrapping tightly around my neck.

I gulped as she did, not expecting that reaction, but returned the hug by folding my arms around her waist loosely. She smelt really good, which was probably wrong of me to note, and I enjoyed the feeling of her so close to me, also wrong of me to note.

"Okay, well, the tickets are for this weekend," I said, desperately trying not to stammer when she pulled away. "I can meet you at the station in the morning. Eight."

Her eyes danced with excitement as she accepted the ticket I held out to her. I reminded myself that this was just a friendly day trip and nothing more.

"Eight," she confirmed, attempting to stifle her eagerness by biting her lip and nodding.

I swallowed hard, trying ever-so-hard not to let my gaze drop to her lips. Because then I'd think about kissing her and that was definitely not what I should be thinking about my soon-to-be sister-in-law.

Oh, God, I was screwed.

[enjeolmii]

10 questions - p.sh

synopsis: to ask questions isn't too bad. but to end up doing something you never expected from the intention behind every question? way better!

genre: fluff, slightly suggestive

word count: 2.4k

warnings: make out sesh (not written in depth), lots of teasing but it’s all playful you nasty

"Next question! Did you like anyon-"

"Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing? I'm supposed to go next." Sunghoon blocks you with an audible tap on the soft mattress, tsk-ing at your smooth but not slick enough scheme to get more answers from him.

It's a Saturday - the day of the week when assignments, works, chores, and duties are temporarily thrown down the window. On these days, you and Sunghoon go on a carefree date. It's a routine you made once a week to maintain your relationship amidst the setback caused by lockdown, and it was going great.

At a time when real interactions between people became an inappropriate thing to do, and everyone turned to technology as a resolution, you made sure that everything is done by Friday, despite it being so dreading, just so that procrastinating wouldn't be a problem dragged over the next day. And when those pressuring times occur to you, you would send each other texts, exhorting to go easy on yourselves. That's why Saturdays are the only thing you wait for every week. You weigh it up as a chance to see the only light that keeps you going, the one that helps you see clearly the path you are taking in this obscure world.

So here you are with Sunghoon in your bedroom, sitting on the bed and leaning on the wall beside it, covered in your blanket as you cuddle under the warm, comfy covers. The day has been an uneventful one. If not for him reminding you of the conversation you had prior in the week, where you asked him to gather questions he had for you, you would have slept the whole day over without accomplishing anything.

"Fine, what's your eighth question?" You admit, frowning at his attentive remark, and he snickers.

He lifts his phone and scrolls through the questions he has saved in his notes. "Have you ever had a dream about me?"

Your eyes roll around with a finger on your chin, recalling the scenarios you had of him. There were many, some surrounding the time when he decided to confess to you, and most of them came from the fantasies you had of him. Those dreams scare you more than the stare of a fiery lion. It almost even feels illegal to think about it because you aren't well over twenty. Though they were just outlines of you and him kissing innocently, you always end up making out at the end of the story.

You weren't one of those twelve-year-olds who've had their first kisses already. Your mother kept a close eye on you in situations like this, so you would rather make out with your pillow than hear her nagging your ears off. Because of that, you grew up as a child unbothered by her love life, and the mere thought of kissing someone in real life makes your hair stand up. That's when you knew he brought out a lot of changes in you.

You swallow the lump of saliva in your throat. "Yeah, I have." You answer truthfully but still cautious of the words you put out.

"Really?" His head perks in your direction. "What did I do?"

You got a little nervous knowing he would undoubtedly interrogate you on this. But thankfully, you were prepared with a streamlined answer. "That's three questions, genius," You say, reaching for his head to give it a light smack, from which earns you a groan. "Save your chances for better questions."

"What do you mean? It's a good one. What did you dream about? I want to know."

"Okayy~ Next question. Where is that..." You switch the topic hastily, hands occupied with finding the question you were waiting to ask him through your notes. "Found it. Did you like anyone before me? If so, who are they?"

"That's two questions, though?"

"Nope. Not if you put them together." You smile at him cheekily, and he throws his head back in astonishment, mouth wide open, spewing out breathy wow's.

"You're playing it dirty, I see. Well, I had two other girlfriends before you." He brings his pinky finger out. "One was my sixth-grade classmate, and the other one was my best friend from the rink." He shoots his mouth off to chaff at you yet again.

A stiff frown crawls on your face as you nod at him sarcastically. "Oh, wow. Impressive." You hum in wonderment, silence unfurling in the suddenly insipid room.

Sunghoon knew you weren't easily irritated by these circumstances. If he were talking to a random girl on the street, more often than not, you would only think of them as one of his fans from the arena, nothing more. Even if he had to accomplish things with a girl in his class, you trusted him very much with your relationship to doubt him in his actions. And so, seeing you hush after a talk like this...

Of course, he would take it as a chance to play with you.

"Aww, is my precious little y/n jealous?" His voice sharpened one octave higher as he pats your head with a pout and mock sadness in his eyes. "What do I do? I kissed them, too."

You were okay with him having two other ones before you, but at the mention of a kiss, your figure skews his way. You weren't sure if he was hoaxing you or not, but to say so honestly, it troubled you. This wasn't the intention you had with your question. All you wanted to get out of it was something to tease him about when he says he has none, yet it was still you who got ragged of your own query.

However, that's beside the point. Was it necessary to point out those last words? It wasn't you to be agitated over something as dispensable as this, but of all things, why did he have to attack your weakness?

Sunghoon's sounds of laughter tear you away from your thoughts. "Got 'em~" He pulls a finger at you in another fit of laughter, seeing you in a state of total shock.

"What the heck? It was a lie?" You pull away firmly from his body, hitting him on the shoulder with force enough to make him wobble on the bed.

"You fell for it." He provokes you, head bouncing up and down in silent titters, and you smack his hand away, leaning back down on his shoulder.

"No, I didn't," You feel him nod abut your head, seeing mentally what teasing expression he has plastered on his face this time, but you only shrug it off. "Which part was the lie, though? You kissing them or being with them?"

"Can't answer that. Save your chances for better questions, cutie."

"Touché," You scoff. "What's the next question?"

"Well, since we came to the topic of kissing... When was your first kiss?" He converts his stare to a peer of glistening fervour. Though not as subtle as he would have probably wished it to be, you could sense the perceptive intent he was hiding behind his tone.

You render motionless. Never did you tell him anything about your dreams, nor would you ever have plans to tell him. It's a product of your wildest imaginations to feed your untold desires. It's what helps restrain the ungodly in you, but it also fuels you with the need to see what it actually is like. It's a continuous internal war going on in you, its purpose being to stop you from creating trouble for yourself. And now that you finally have him here, not going to lie, it's kind of embarrassing to acknowledge the profuse amount of dreams you had of him, moreover that he stole your first kiss... Except it was in your dreams, literally.

"I never had any," You answer, trying to stay as cool as possible. "I'm a good child who listens well to her mother, so don't think no one tried to hit on me once. I turned a lot of them down." A small smile trudges its way onto his face, but the way his eyes were fixated on you remained untypically the same.

"I don't know if I should be happy that you picked me out of all of them or be sad for those 'poor hearts' you broke." He draws an air quote along with his words, and you shake your head at him. "Don't worry. I won't tease you on this one. I just wanted to know." He mumbles quietly through a simper, moving to rest his head on yours.

Hearing that he'll cut you some slack relieved you, but one thing about his utterance caught you off guard. "Why do you want to know that?"

"That's the only way I'll get to know you deeper, Einstein," He retracts his head and nudges you on his shoulder, causing you to bump your head against its edge, a grunt following you. However, while you were still in the midst of justifying the whack he did on your head, he spins his vision to you in an adventitious celebration. "Oh- that's your tenth question, then!"

"Wait, hold on!" You haul over to straighten your posture, the creaking of the bed barely audible from the loudness of your opposition.

"It's my turn again." His eyes grow invisible from his cheeks, pushing it up into a smile. He just never gets tired of making fun of you. How you wish you could do the same to him. If only punching someone straight in the face denotes no wrongdoing, you would have done that ages ago.

"Bitch, why did you answer that?" You call him, blaming him with the irritation that you weren't able to control yourself.

"You ask, I answer. Isn't that how it goes?" He grins at you matter-of-factly, and you tousle your hair around in frustration.

"Ugh, you're crazy," You send glares up his way. "Whatever. Your last question, throw."

As if that was a signal he has been waiting for, Sunghoon shuts his phone and tucks it in his pocket. "How does it feel to kiss someone?"

You were confused. You just said you've never kissed anyone before.

A dry giggle leaves your mouth after much processing. You knew you shouldn't have trusted his words. No matter what you do, he'll find the cracks and holes to slip in his every jest. "I think you got the wrong person, kid. How do you think I'd know?"

"Hmm..." He drones, the ticking sound of the clock suddenly increasing in volume with every minute passing by. "Should we try it, then?" He suggests.

"What?" You were taken aback, a sudden chill sweeping through your body like a surge of cool air gashing through the enclosed room. What is he going on about?

Inch by inch, you feel him gravitate towards you, your torso backing up from his inclining frame until the warmth you caused on the cold wall completely presses against your back. Like the fire of a gun's bullet on a steady path, your heartbeat raced in a trice. His eyes stared at yours, tracing down to your parted lips as he led his other hand across your body, trailing up your arms to your shoulders, just until it reaches your jaw. Your breath hitched, lips shutting tightly as you gulp down at the presence of his queer boldness.

It's like the scenarios you formed in your head where he pins you against the wall, lips hovering yours with soft breaths that tickle your skin. Him studying your face with obstinacy to make you his, doing whatever it is that would make you happy. Nevertheless, he made sure to be cautious of things you wouldn't want him to do. He still respected you.

He's doing just the same thing, and it's getting you set on thinking whether this is all a dream taking too long to reach its climax or if your dreams are miraculously made into reality. But his next set of words were enough to tell you the clarification to your uncertainties.

"Please don't be mad." Without warning, his lips found their place on your light, pillowy ones. It felt like he was pouring out all emotions he's been holding in until now. He always controlled himself whenever you're around because he didn't want to disappoint your mother. But with this instance is a chance to do something he has long been dreaming of. He wasn't about to lose it.

The way his head tilts to the side to get a more comfortable position, eyes closing and immersed in the pleasure of your lips against his, got you clasping onto your blanket to ease the havoc he's causing in your guts. You froze at the contact. As if time had halted and the world stopped spinning, everything seemed to slow down at that moment. Maybe it was the sweet scent of his bergamot fragrance. Maybe it was the tightening of his grip on your jaw, or perhaps the longing you had for him that's enticing you in this position.

It's not every day that we get to see our dreams come true, and for one, it's a matchless feeling, especially when the dream is worthwhile. Slowly, you give in and close your eyes in the warmth of his touch. His lips parted to bite at your lower lip, and you overtly open your mouth to let him in.

"Do you think you could answer it now?" He questions you, but you couldn't comprehend what he was saying. You were too caught up in your own feelings during the whole session; you almost forgot what happened before it was done. Just when you thought he’d stop pulling out all the hidden quirks of yours, he caught you once again. And it didn't take long enough before you recollected yourself.

"Right. It's way better than I could have ever imagined." You smile at him, giving rise to the same smile as you.

"If this is how it will usually end, maybe I should start gathering more questions for you." He proposes, his head wheeling over to you with sheer excitement.

"Uh-huh... Just make sure you don't catch anything from the streets before you come over." You reply with a cackle, getting off his lap and sitting back down on the soft mattress.

It was supposed to be a dull and boring day. But with another chance that you two meet comes another something to remember forever. And you can't help but grin from ear to ear.

[9tzuyu]

dissolve (rewrite)

natasha x reader

note: this was just a huge vent fic idk. these type of fics seem to be the only thing im okay at writing. mistakes are mine as always. but i did proofread, yay!

if you want to read the original (as awful as it is) you can read it here!

wanrings: this heavily revolves around eating disorders.

i’m not tagging anyone because the content isn’t really the lightest to read.

words are used everyday, everywhere – whether to describe something or someone. there’s thousands upon thousands of them.

so you were having a hard time figuring out why you were struggling so much to justify your feelings through the basis of words. it was unnerving, draining and very annoying. your emotions should be simple, right? you were either sad or happy, angry or scared. but there was something more, something unexplainable. saying you felt alone only scratched the surface of the wave of emotion that took over. it was excruciatingly painful, far worse than any physical pain you ever had to endure. and for some reason it seemed to come crashing down at night while natasha slept peacefully. you weren't exactly sure how to express your emotions to the extent you felt them. how else was anyone supposed to understand your pain? they couldn't, not unless they could somehow shift into your body and feel your emotions themselves. but that was merely impossible as such powers do not exist. so you were inevitably stuck with words foreign to your lips. over the years you were deemed unsafe, a hazard, "an accident waiting to happen" you recall one doctor say. everyone’s eyes were on you at all times, monitoring every little movement you made. it was suffocating and at times doing more damage than good.

as an adult now you learned how freeing it could be without the fear of gaining weight or eating a bowl full of rainbow marshmallow cereal. your worth was not defined by your weight.

(at least that's what you believed prior to any relapses.) everything was going well in your life. you were a college graduate working as a psychiatric nurse and you had found love, something your teenage self could only dream of. natasha was by your side through everything. and really, the only downfall in the relationship was that she had to travel a lot for her job. but you were secure enough in your relationship not to worry or decide to call things off. in the end natasha always made up for it when she came back, so you couldn't complain too much. things were going well for you, really, they were. until they weren't. (and you didn't know why.) it happened out of nowhere. work was a little more stressful than usual, but it was nothing you couldn't handle. natasha had been away for three months, only stopping by a few times to check in on you. but again, your wife being away for so long wasn't anything new or worrisome. the two of you had followed the routine of her leaving and coming back more than a thousand times; yet somewhere along the way you lost yourself. food became less of a priority, your hunger decreased drastically, and within the first month you'd lost thirteen pounds. it truly was an accident, slipping into a full blown relapse was never part of the plan. but thirteen pounds lighter you wanted more, to feel small again. you didn't have an answer as to why you became so attached to your eating disorder, but it didn't seem like it would be letting go any time soon. the rate at which you were going natasha would most definitely be able to see a difference; not only on your weight, but in the person you once were. she'd ask what happened and why it happened, poking and prodding for an answer, but you didn't have one. so here you stood in the kitchen of your shared home, a cup of sliced fruit in one hand and your cell phone in the other. you poured the fruit into the bottom of a blender along with a spoonful of yogurt and half a cup of soy milk. another half cup of ice followed suit. while the fruit blended, you shamelessly scrolled through your instagram. there was nothing interesting going on in other people's lives, you didn't even know why you had social media in the first place. it was dumb, and quite frankly you didn't give a shit whether or not sharon went to the beach. the sound of your blender coming to a halt brought your attention back to the real world. you poured your smoothie into your water bottle. the green liquid would be your breakfast and lunch for the day - dinner was still up for debate. a soft sigh left your lips. work was beginning to feel more like a chore and less of something you enjoyed. you were quickly growing tired of it. nonetheless, you grabbed your keys and rushed out of the door.

you thought about the irony of working as a psychiatric nurse with an undealt eating disorder telling teenagers how to deal with their own issues. you felt hypocritical to say the least, especially given that all the nasty side effects were starting to make themselves known.

your hair was beginning to thin, small clumps of it already starting to fall out when you tugged a little too hard. bruises could be seen scattered left and right on your body, and you were cold. god you were cold. your fingernails were tinted blue, warmth seemingly too far out of reach. you looked ill, and it didn't go unnoticed by your coworkers.

a few hours into your shift you found yourself sitting behind the nurses station filling out paperwork. lunch had passed and when your coworker, steve, asked if you were going to eat something you lied straight through your teeth, telling him you'd grab something when the patients were eating dinner.

but steve rogers could read you like an open book. he knew you were lying because he already knew what was going on. the signs of an eating disorder were quite obvious when you were a licensed therapist. and despite your futile attempts at hiding it, everyone could tell something wasn't right.

steve played it by ear for weeks until he contacted natasha, but by then you'd already lost a considerable amount of weight. as soon as she heard the news, natasha booked the next flight home. unfortunately for her though, there was only one flight and she would have to wait two and a half weeks before being able to leave.

you didn't know it, but those were the longest two and a half weeks natasha ever had to wait.

– patients were having group therapy, so you could tune them out - not that you should, but it was hard to focus when the only two things you could think about were food and your weight.

the need to lose weight sounded so stereotypical for someone with an eating disorder, but honestly it wasn't about that. it was never about wanting to be thin. you genuinely didn't know why this was happening. the only thing you noticed was how rewarding it felt seeing the number go down, as if for you were good for becoming less. it was addictive. and it didn't help that you based your entire worth on how much you could lose.

the next time you stood up from behind the nurses station steve met you in the the cafeteria. while the patients ate you took occasional sips from your smoothie. the bottle was still full of its contents from the morning. you had completely forgotten to drink it during the day, but you didn't seem to mind it that much.

the surprise touch of steve's hand on your shoulder startled you.

i am gross, you thought. do not do that.

steve caught onto the slight flinch your body produced as a reflex, but he didn't say anything about it.

"you can leave early, boss said so."

he laughed as he saw confusion plaster your face.

"what? no!"

"go home, seriously. we have this handled. you know tony doesn't like being told no."

you bit your lip, puzzled by the sudden request. most people wouldn't mind being sent home early, but all it did for you was give you a level of anxiety reserved for food.

what you didn't know was that natasha was home waiting for your arrival. she came back just short of an hour after you left for work.

while you were gone natasha made a few thorough rounds in the house looking for key signs of your eating disorder. there was bound to be evidence given that you didn't know she was home.

unsurprisingly, natasha found a glass scale beside the counter of the bathroom floor along with empty bottles of laxatives in the trashcan. the food in the fridge had been expired a few days past their date, giving her the indication that you weren't eating as much as you should be. her concern grew even more when she found your food journal on your nightstand. flipping the pages, natasha could see that throughout the moths she'd been gone your calorie intake had decreased significantly.

guilt began to gnaw at the back of her throat.

during the few days natasha stopped by, she hadn't noticed anything wrong with you. but then again she knew most people with eating disorders were very good at hiding them up until the point they were discovered. three days wasn't near enough time for her to catch onto your tricks, not when her mind was still focused on her job.

natasha always listened intently whenever you would talk about your eating disorder, the first time being six months into the relationship on a date you felt like you had ruined.

but talking about it was much different than experiencing it with you, natasha had never done that before up until now. she read nearly every article there was about anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder and ednos. sometimes when you were asleep she would watch documentaries on the disorder, always making sure to keep her volume at a low level.

the videos that hurt her the most were the ones teenagers struggling with the simple task of eating food.

(although natasha knew it wasn't that simple.)

it hurt because she knew that was you at some point in time.

upon your arrival, natasha cooked dinner. she wanted to hold onto the one sliver of hope that steve was wrong - that he was just overreacting - but she knew in her heart he was right about his assumption. however, dinner would only confirm what natasha so desperately wanted to deny.

when you walked through the door you were greeted with the overwhelming scent of food. you cringed at the thought of having to eat, but as soon as you looked up to see the redhead who'd been gone for so long your frown was washed away. a wide smile overtook your face and you rushed to jump into natasha's arms.

"i missed you so much," you whispered. "i thought you'd be gone for another few weeks?"

natasha's arms found their way around your waist as your legs wrapped around hers. "what? i can't come home early to surprise my wife?" you giggled in the crook of her neck. she smiled feeling the vibrations against her skin, happy to know that you'd missed her just as much as she missed you.

she sat you down, back facing you, she tended to the food. "you've lost weight," she commented, not missing the sharp inhale of your breath.

"how was work, nat?"

she nodded to herself. yeah, she didn't expect you to be so open on the first try.

"it was fine. dinner's ready, i made your favorite!" natasha threw a smile in your direction as she carried the plates over to the table. she had hoped to see your face light up the way it used to, but seeing the panicked look in your eyes further confirmed your relapse.

if nothing else, natasha wanted you to have a meal before she brought up the conversation.

"great... i love it, thank you nat!" your attempt at being enthusiastic failed miserably and you knew by the look she gave you, she already knew what was going on.

but throughout the meal, and despite the shakiness of your hand as it gripped the metal fork, natasha didn't say anything.

you weren't really sure which was worse; being confronted or knowing the both of you knew what the other was thinking and still not addressing it.

natasha's meal was good, you couldn't lie about that, but each bite you chewed caused the tightening in your chest to constrict further.

now you couldn't be good. or worthy. or deserving.

nat took away your plate when you were halfway through. she knew your limits, and she didn't want to push you too much out of your comfort zone.

"go change, i'll wash our dishes. meet you on the couch?"

you did as you were told, taking as long as you could to do so. except this time was different. you didn't glance in the mirror like you usually did, you chose to fully take in your figure.

what you saw was not what you expected to see. for the first time in months you saw a version of yourself that wasn't twisted and turned to be something you didn't know was real or not.

your skin was dry, hair thinned out beyond your belief, eyes sunken and dark underneath. the revelation gave you an odd feeling – was once again something unexplainable, unjustifiable by words.

good.

that was how you were supposed to feel, right? after all of this time, after the many pounds of protection and warmth lost, you were supposed to feel good.

but you didn't. and you never would.

there was something so surreal about the realization of your own destruction. you were aware now, which meant you had to either take responsibility or choose to lose everything you worked so hard for.

"y/n?"

your wife's voice snapped you out of your gaze and you scrambled to pile your dirty clothes and rush out of the bedroom.

as you made your way into the living room you could feel the intensity of natasha's gaze. any other time you would not mind her green eyes looking at you, but this time around you felt like you were in trouble.

she patted the empty spot next to her, to which you reluctantly joined. but even after everything you still tried to play it cool.

"what's up? is everything okay?"

she gave a low chuckle, "you tell me."

"what do you mean?"

"oh i think you know what i mean."

natasha’s reply was met with the loudest silence you ever had to sit through.

she bit her lip, "you know i got a call from steve a few weeks ago. he's concerned about you, and from what he's told me so am i."

you were quick to respond, automatically knowing what steve’s phone call was about. "i'm fine. so what if i've lost a couple of pounds? that doesn't automatically mean that im relapsing, natasha."

your quick snap reminded natasha that this kind of confrontation was like walking on eggshells.

she tilted her head, licking her lips. "i'm here with you, always." nat put a hand to the side of your face, gently rubbing her thumb at the top of your cheekbone. "i'm here."

it seemed pointless now to try and say anything because your secret was already out.

your mind began racing back and forth.

you wanted to keep what you knew best and natasha understood that. even by reading your body language she knew what you were debating.

"you know, to keep it you have to give it away." your eyes darted to meet hers. "mhm. you can still have that piece of you. mourn it, grieve it, do whatever you need to do to move onto a stage where it doesn't hurt you. and from there you can help other people, share your experience, let yourself heal by helping others."

she paused, “we all have choices. some of those choices are taken from you while others leave you with only one option.”

although what she said seemed to resonate with you, there was one thing still holding you back.

"i just want to be good."

natasha hummed. you had explained it to her in the past, though your words were jumbled together as you tried to describe it.

"you can be good in other ways. you're allowed to live a life outside of the barriers your eating disorder puts in the way."

you swallowed the lump in the back of your throat. "i don't even know how it got to this point. in january i enjoyed ihop and dennys. in february i could have oatmeal and bananas, sometimes half of a sandwhich if i was feeling brave. now it’s march and i only eat one or two things a day. the idea of having a full meal makes me want to cry. and i just- i don't know how to stop."

natasha wouldn't show it, but your words cut through her heart like a knife. her mind wandered briefly to all the teenagers in the documentaries she'd watched, hoping you weren't too far gone into your eating disorder to ever come back. those cases scared her the most.

"you've got my complete support. you've tackled this before, maybe this time you can beat it? i know its easier to abuse your body instead of growing comfortable in it, but i think you’ve got this. i know you do."

"what about your work?" your question caused natasha to frown. "you think i wouldn't set my job aside for you?" you shrugged, it's not like you felt like you were worth being taken care of anyway.

natasha grew hesitant to tell you her news, but did it anyway because she’d rather you hate her than see you dead. "i've already made some appointments for you. the first one is tomorrow morning."

"i figured you would natasha. it's okay."

you spaced yourself out the rest of the day. each time you made the executive decision to recover, whether that be a genuine recovery or not, the process never failed to remind you that even trying to recover from an eating disorder felt like mourning the loss of a friend who was never good for you in the first place.

[hexpea]

Ch. 24 - Settle In

Kento walked with you back to his place, still stuck in the haze of being caught fucking in the bathroom. He absolutely never imagined himself to be a rule breaker, not to mention a rule breaker of that kind. But he couldn't deny it...you brought something out in him that no one else could.

"Yaga's not going to do anything," you chuckled in an attempt to make him feel better. He had remained silent the entire walk to the station, nothing you said able to shake him. "It's not like any of the students were around. We're two consenting adults."

The two of you had reached the subway, standing in line to wait for the train. Kento took in a deep sigh, at least doing something to try and calm himself down.

"We could be banned from the school, labeled as sex offenders," he grumbled, checking his watch as if he weren't still panicking - but you could read him like a book.

"They're not gonna' go that far," you reassured him by placing a gentle hand on his upper arm, "Satoru won't let them even if they wanted to."

Despite your attempts, Kento was still shaken up by the event - remaining quiet all the way home.

"I mean, do you want me to call Satoru? I'm sure he'll be able to tell us what Yaga's gonna' do, if anything," you offered as the two of you settled into the apartment, removing shoes and whatnot.

Kento's lack of response told you enough, so you pulled your phone from your pocket and began dialing your brother. The phone rang and rang until his delightfully crude voicemail message sounded off, finishing with the familiar loud beep. Instead of a message, you simply hung up.

"Weird. They should just be sitting in the observation room. No reason he wouldn't pick up..." you thought out loud. "Oh well! We'll find out later!" You shrugged. "But for now, you need to get rid of that tension in your shoulders!" You had walked to him, reaching up to squeeze his hardened muscles.

He sighed loudly as you began dragging him down the hallway to his bedroom. He had a happy, little smirk as you forcibly turned his body around so his back faced the mattress and shoved him down on the soft material. As he laid there, you turned and began rooting through his drawers to choose some loungewear. You settled for a white, cotton t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants - thinking to yourself what you'd wear to be comfy. From there, you tossed the clothes at Kento to which he chuckled and sat up - beginning to unbutton his top. You playfully giggled and shoved him back down. While his head hit the bed again, he continued unbuttoning while you worked on his pants - starting by pulling the leather strap of his belt quickly through the loops.

You struggled to get his pants around his ankles, desperately wanting to be as much help as possible even if it meant being a nuisance. You hadn't noticed, but Kento had already switched out his shirts and was watching your cute, agitated expression as you tried your best.

"Don't worry about it," he finally interrupted, still holding that warm smile in appreciation for what you were trying to do. He then stood up and slipped the sweats on with ease and followed you back to the main living area.

He began rummaging through the kitchen cabinets but you quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled him away.

"No! Let me!" You poured like a child while dragging him to the sofa.

You shoved him down yet again. He watched you, dumbfounded, as you aggressively grabbed the remote and turned on the station he usually had it on.

"You don't move tonight," you commanded, tossing the remote in his lap.

"Yes, ma'am," he chuckled, placing the remote back on the end table next to him.

You meandered back to the kitchen and blankly stared at all the cabinets. You hadn't cooked a day in your life. You never had to...meals were always somehow prepared for you by others - not because you were necessarily spoiled but just because that chore never really fell on you. You began searching through your phone to find recipes but it all looked so complicated. Eventually you settled on something familiar: pasta. It was so generic but it was something Kento made often and you attempting to make it was a great homage to his work.

Kento would peer back at you from time to time, primarily to make sure you weren't setting anything on fire. It ended up being quite easy, just boiling water and adding the pasta. Kento kept jarred sauce so no need to hand make anything complicated.

When you finished, you proudly placed a plate in his hands and curled up on the sofa next to him. You waited for him to take his first bite, eyes wide and hoping for praise.

"Not bad," he nodded, taking in another bite, "a little al dente, but it's better that way." His critique made you blush. You felt bad for making it that way but his encouraging tone kept the thought from haunting you.

The two of you finished dinner while watching some random movie on television. With the plates now on the coffee table, you rested your head on his lap while he grazed the side of your head, repeatedly pushing hair behind your ear. He nearly had you falling asleep until you heard the deep sigh from above you.

"You okay?" You asked, turning your eye toward him - straining just a bit to get a good look from your position.

"Yeah," he sighed again, "just a headache." He was still stressed from the earlier encounter and dwelling on it gave quite the migraine. Luckily, you knew just the trick.

You darted back to the kitchen, Kento watching as you got out another pot and started boiling water on the stove. You then began rooting through the drawers in search of some kind of rag, eventually finding one and throwing it into the pot of water.

"Weird question, but do you have lavender? Like, usually used for tea and stuff?" You asked, pausing your speed momentarily to look in his direction.

"N-no?" He furrowed his brow, wondering what you were even doing.

Instead of answering his questioning intonation, you simply warped to the Don Quixote down the street and picked some up - coming back within two minutes. At least my power is useful for something! You thought. You tossed some of the dried leaves into the water and stood by, nearly hypnotized by the bubbles as the scent began to fill the room.  You heard Kento sigh again, but this time it sounded a bit more satisfied. You glanced in his direction to see that he had slouched on the sofa with his head resting against the cushion, arms outstretched in either direction as the scent already began to relax him.

When it was good and ready, you carefully took out the rag after turning the heat off. You quickly rung it out, folded it, and snuck over to Kento who had his eyes closed and head still laid back. He jolted just a bit as you placed the warm rag over his eyes, the heat quickly dulling the ache in his temples.  You knelt behind the couch as he relaxed, a warm and gentle, close-lipped smile on his face. You gave a slow and tender kiss to his hairline and then rested your head beside his as he unwound from the pent up stress.

"Where did you learn something like this?" Kento asked quietly, lifting the rag just a bit to take a look at your pretty blue eyes. You smiled back and brushed some of his loose hairs from his face that were slightly damp and had clung to the rag.

"Satoru and his headaches...mine, too, once I got my powers," you explained just as quietly, "six eyes can be quite overwhelming. He used to get headaches all the time from not wearing and protection so I usually helped him out."

"It really works," he chuckled and placed the rag back over his eyes, taking in a deep breath of the floral scent. You had to admit you were enjoying it, too.

Eventually you grew tired of the floor and walked back to the kitchen where you poured two glasses of wine. You made your way back to the sofa and gave him a glass once he removed the rag which was now too cold to satisfy.

"Headache gone?" You asked, curling your legs underneath yourself as you sat down beside him - allowing your body to fall into his.

"Yeah," he smirked and kissed the side of your head as you took a sip from your glass.

Another movie began playing on the screen and Kento utilized his phone to turn down the lights. The two of you felt tired after a long day of preparing for the exchange event, not to mention the trouble you got into.

Considering both of you were lightweights and you poured quite a hefty glass of wine, the room began to slightly spin as you rested on his shoulder. The room became dark as the credits rolled up the screen, the sun already set.  Through the dark, you looked up at him - the peaceful quiet of just piano credit music filling the room.

"I knew it was a sad one, but I didn't think you'd be one to cry, Kento," you chuckled quietly, bringing a finger to his cheek to wipe a stray tear that you found glistening in the dim light.

"It's not from the movie," he chuckled back, wiping the rest of it away, "it's from you." He leaned down and pressed his lips to your forehead. "I'm just really happy for once."

"Kento..." your voice wavered ever-so slightly at his words, both out of happiness but also out of sorrow. Neither of you had an easy time, this moment of peace was just what you needed after what felt like a long battle to get there.

"I love you," his look was completely serious through the dark. You had said it so many times to one another at this point but this one felt so full of meaning, you felt a lump grow in your throat - nearly joining him with a few little tears.

"I love you, too," you returned, quickly latching your arms around his neck and parting his lips with yours.

He returned the kiss with the same passion, gently holding your cheeks with his strong, calloused hands - fingers slightly tangling with your white locks. With the natural direction of things mixed with animal instincts, you found yourself straddled against his hips.  You suddenly felt a bubble of emotion again, this time in the form of giggles that danced their way into his mouth. You pulled away as the giggles became too much.

"What's wrong?" He laughed a bit at your pink face and big smile.

"I was just thinking about the closet again," you took a deep breath in order to get the sentence out.

"Oh? What about?" He inquired, resting one hand on your hip and using the other to push strands of hair from your face.

"Just how that whole thing went. We took it so far," you rolled your eyes up to the ceiling in an attempt to visualize it. "I was...so smitten. And you were a virgin! Or so you tell me," you crossed your arms and playfully narrowed your vision.

"Y-yeah," he blushed and looked away, "I've watched things...and being around your brother didn't help. Or I guess in that case, did help. At least before he started seeing...Geto."

"Yeah...he'd bring home anyone quite honestly," you rolled your eyes, "it was a miracle I got any sleep when living under the same roof. He's been...celibate as far as I've noticed while living with him again. I feel so bad about the whole thing...I can't imagine losing the love of your life, let alone having to be the one to...put him down."

"He's been otherwise his usual self," Kento said quietly, still stroking the side of your face - his gentle touch comforting as you leaned into his fingertips.

"I worry about him," you sighed, "but he refuses to talk about it. It doesn't help that I..." you trailed off, hoping context got to him - which it did, his body quickly stiffening. "I had needs!" You defended.

"I understand," he stopped you, "we weren't together and I...rejected you."

"Were you with...anyone else?" You asked, hesitant to hear the answer.

"No," he answered straight-forwardly. "I have no interest in sex or relationships...besides you. Don't get me wrong, I...tried, but I couldn't get..." he glanced down at his crotch which was mostly covered by your body that was still straddling him. You covered your mouth to hide a tiny giggle to which he looked up at you with an "are you kidding me?" kind of expression.

"Kento..." you stopped yourself and looked toward him with a genuine smile, "you might be demi. But that's another conversation."

"Well, we do have quite a bond," his firm hands now rested on your thighs, thumbs rubbing light circles.

"Yeah," you agreed, cheeks turning pink, "I don't think I could live if something happened to you." (cries in Shibuya)

"Y/N..." you knew what was coming: the usual scolding of "it's all in the line of duty."

"Have you considered retiring again?" You quickly asked, interrupting him before he could continue.

"I..." he was about to start, but your phone began to vibrate.

"Oh, it's Satoru," you stared at the glowing screen before hitting the green button on the touchscreen. "Hey! How'd the exchange go?"

"You'll never guess what happened!" Satoru's voice rang out through the receiver, forcing you to hold the phone away from his face. "Make sure I'm on speakerphone so Nanami can hear!"

[rocksandrobots]

Phantoms of the Past: Ch. 5 - Best friends, Boyfriends, and Barons Part 1

"Hey Miss Itamae! Ready for a whole new school year? Hee...hee...eeeh.... yeah, fine." Hiro gave up trying to make small talk with the lunch lady as she unceremoniously slopped meatloaf onto his plate.

Today was the first day of the fall semester and the start of Hiro's second year at SFIT.  It felt odd to him, to look back and realize just how much time had passed; how much things had changed during the previous year.

A year ago, today, he had been attending Tadashi's funeral and now he was going about his life as if everything was normal. Well, almost normal. He was also moonlighting as a superhero, adopting an out of time teenager as his new big brother, and befriending deadly robots.

Life was weird.

Of course it wasn't as if he could ignore his loss completely. He had noticed the flowers and cards placed at the foot of Tadashi's memorial over by the exhibition hall. People still remembered that his brother had died a hero. Folks that he didn't even know had left their condolences today, though most of the gifts were from Tadashi's teachers and friends.

Hiro had particularly noticed a painting Honey Lemon had left, of her, Tadashi, and the rest of their friends. He also spotted Gogo sitting out there early that morning, lighting a candle in his brother's memory. He had given her her space, choosing not to interrupt. Gogo and Tadashi had been especially close.

Hiro remembered how excited his brother had been when Gogo finally agreed to go out with him. Tadashi had hurried about their bedroom, a couple of days before the fire, fretting over where to take her on their first date. A date that they had never gotten to go on. At the time Hiro had teased him relentlessly, never passing up the chance to deflate his brother's ego. Now it was just another bittersweet memory to look back on.

Fred abruptly snapped him out of his mournful reflection. "Steve." was all he said as he grabbed Hiro by the shoulders.

"Steve? Uh, my name is Hiro, remember Fred?"

"No, no, no, Steve was the name of the ninja robot that Trina found. She said he was held in a warehouse downtown, along with all the other ninjas. Don't you see, that's our big break! We find this warehouse and then we can track down the mysterious bosu!"

Hiro wearily placed his tray down on the table and took a seat next to Wasabi.

"Fred, it's the first day of school. Can't this wait for later?"

"But-"

"Hiro's right Fred," Wasabi interrupted, "Just because you have all the time in the world to play superhero doesn't mean that we do. We still got our own lives to take care of."

Fred looked hurt at that. "I'm not playing! This is important work. We have a city to protect and this crime boss is just going to keep coming after us if we don't figure out how to stop them."  

Wasabi rolled his eyes. "Then you just go on and do that. In the meantime the rest of us have class to attend. I'm heading early to set up for my first lab."

"But labs won't open for like another hour." Hiro pointed out, confused. "They're still cleaning up from the robot attacks last week."

"Ah, he just wants to get there early so that he can see his boyfriend again." Fred complained.

"Sam's not my boyfriend. He's just a colleague, and at least I'm doing something other than obsess over superheroing." And with that Wasabi stormed off, while Fred slouched into the cafeteria chair with a huff.

"Listen, Fred, why don't you go on patrol with Minimax for a while. I'll help you track down this warehouse after school is over with." Hiro said.

"Okay," Fred reluctantly agreed, "but I'm not 'obsessing'."

"I know Fred, but the rest of us also have school to worry about. We just don't have the same amount of free time as you do."

"I know." Fred sighed before walking off.

                                                ---------------------------

"Sorry Hiro, but we're kind of busy right now." Honey Lemon regretfully informed her friends.

Fred and Hiro had met up after school as promised. Wasabi had declined to join them on their quest and so they had decided to recruit the girls instead. Though this also seemed to be a fruitless endeavor.

"Yeah, we're kind of in the middle of something." Gogo finished as she leaned back in a reclining chair and placed two cucumber slices over her eyes.

They had found the girls at a spa. Honey Lemon sat next to Gogo with curlers in her hair, and they apparently weren't the only ones out having a beauty day.

"Can't you see we're having some girl time?" Karmi asked, annoyed, as she examined her nails.

"Yeah, Hiro, go take your weird superhero hobby elsewhere?" Megan added.

"It's not weird!" Fred insisted.

"If this is supposed to be a girls only event, then why is he here?" Hiro said, pointing to Varian, who sat next to Megan.

"Uh, getting a manicure obviously." Varian rolled his eyes and then leaned over to show Carol, who was beside him, two bottles of nail polish. "Do you think I should go with the midnight blue or just stick with black?"

"Hmmm... I think either would be nice," she replied.

"Ooooh, have you tried the seaweed wrap they have here? It's great." Fred chimed in.

Hiro rolled his eyes, "Okay, so what are you two doing after this? Could you take up patrol tonight?"

"Nope." Gogo said.

"I promised my brother Carlos that I would help him move into his new dorm room. He starts at UCLA this week and Gogo's offered to drive me there. We won't be back till tomorrow morning." Honey Lemon explained.

"Okay, well, we'll just-"

"Alright, I'm ready." A voice called out, interrupting him.

Trina walked out from behind a door at the back of the spa. Her bulky gigantic metal body was gone and in its place was the frame of a young woman, dressed in a t-shirt, pants, and a cropped jacket. She looked very much the same as the day Hiro had first met her, at the bot fights. Only this time her hair had been cut and styled into a short mohawk and dyed a light purple.

"What do you guys think?" She asked as she twirled around.

Everyone shouted encouragements to her, and Varian cheekily whistled.

"You look nice, Trina." Hiro complimented.

Trina snorted and rolled her eyes. "In your dreams, Hiro." She said, leaving the teenage genius confused by what he had said wrong.

Ignoring him, Trina walked over to the rest of the girls, "Thanks for the clothes... and for everything else." She sheepishly added.

"Hey, no problem." Megan replied. "They look good on you."

"Yeah, and if you need anything else just ask." Karmi added.

"Not to mention it's always fun to have a spa day," Carol piped in. "This was a good idea Varian, thanks for inviting me along."

"Sure thing. When Trina said she wanted help with finding a new wardrobe, I figured all of you would like to go shopping too.... and also y'all know more about clothes than I do."

"Hey, Trina," Fred interjected, "that warehouse where you foun- I mean, met 'Steve', do you happen to remember where it was located?"

Trina gave Fred a frown.

"Oooh, who's Steve?" Karmi asked, happy to gossip, "Is that your boyfriend Trina?"

"No." She said, "The place you're looking for is over in Good Luck Alley, next to Louie's."

"It must've been a bad breakup." Karmi whispered into Honey Lemon's ear, she wasn't very good at keeping her voice down.

"Yeah… he kind of... broke alright." Honey Lemon nervously added, unsure what to say.

"Uh, yeah, well thanks for the tip Trina. We'll be going now, bye." Hiro said as he hurried Fred out the door. He had had enough of awkward conversations and makeovers.

                                               ---------------------------

"Fred, wouldn't it be better if we brought our robots along at least?" Hiro whispered.

"You want to sneak around an abandoned warehouse with those two?" Fred whispered back, "I love him, but Minimax doesn't know how to be quiet, like at all."

Hiro sighed, Fred had a point. Baymax also wasn't the best at stealth missions. Hiro slid into the alleyway and peered through a dirty window. He couldn't shake the sense of deja vu as he remembered how he and the robotic nurse had tracked down his missing microbots a year ago at a similar warehouse. They had both been nearly killed by Callaghan when the villain had caught them snooping around. He would prefer to avoid such a scenario again.

"It doesn't look like anyone is here." He said.

"See any ninja robots?" Fred asked as he also pushed by to get a look, pressing his nose against the glass.

"No… Fred, this may be a dead end. Trina already raided the place and no doubt this Bosu would have abandoned the hideout if it was compromised."

Fred pouted, "Maybe… Buuuut, we could always man a stake-out and find out for sure!"

"Fred, I have homework to do. Maybe some oth-"

"Oh please! Just for an hour, or two? Please, please, please? Pretty please? I'll do your homework for you."

"I don't want you doing my homework."

"Okay, chores then; I'll wash Varian's dirty socks and underwear for a… a week… no, a month! Come on, I know how much you hate doing laundry."

Hiro sighed and watched his friend crawl on his knees and beg. "Does it really mean that much to you?"

"Yeeeesss."

"Okay, and no, you don't have to do the laundry either."

Hiro turned to walk out of the alley and Fred got up and followed him.

"That's good, cause I don't actually know how to wash clothes. Usually, Heathcliff does all the laundry. Last time I tried to, I just flooded the washroom."

"Do you have any survival skills? Like at all?"

"Nope. Unless it's kicking bad guys' butts! Ooh, hey, we can host the stake-out at Louie's across the street. I'm starved."

                                               ---------------------------

Hiro and Fred took up a window booth inside the restaurant. The establishment had recovered from the police raid from a few months back and was now serving food as usual; though Hiro had already spotted the advertisement for the next upcoming 'bot fight.

A couple of hours past and they had both eaten their meals, plus dessert, along with Fred going back for seconds. Now they were both nursing a couple of cups of coffee, though Hiro's was going cold; it wasn't great coffee.

"Fred…"

"Yeah."

"It's been three hours now."

"I know."

"No one's showed up."

"Not yet."

"Look it's been… 'fun', but I'm going home now."

Hiro got up to leave but Fred grabbed him by the sleeve.

"Oh but… uhh… we haven't even tried the uh… hot dog sushi special. I hear it's really good."

Hiro leaned his head back slowly and closed his eyes in frustration. He didn't want to snap at Fred, really he didn't, but he was quickly losing his patience.

"Fred… no one is coming. Let's just call it a night and try again some other time. Okay." And with that he yanked his hand away and began to walk off.

Fred didn't follow. Instead he sat in the booth, his eyes downcast, staring blankly at nothing. It wasn't his usual pout either. It was something else. Some deeper sadness that few saw from the usually optimistic teen.

Hiro began to worry. He walked back, and stood there waiting for Fred to jump back up all excited again for his return, only he didn't.

"Fred, what's wrong?"

Fred sighed but couldn't bring himself to answer.

"Look, I know that this superhero business is important to you, so much so that you'll probably wind up making a career out of it, which is great, but the rest of us are not going to be doing this for the rest of our lives. We also have to keep up with our studies, chores, our jobs, and what little shred of a social life we have."

"That's not it… I mean yeah, it's a part of it, but that's not why I asked you to come along."

Fred finally looked Hiro in the eye and tears threatened to spill.

"I just miss my best friend, okay."

Hiro looked at him confused.

"I didn't want to say anything, cause… cause he's your brother and I didn't think you'd want to be reminded about him being gone any more than you already have… but today has just been really hard… remembering what happened… I just thought getting out and doing something fun, getting both our minds off everything, might be better than just… just being alone. You know? Especially today."

Fred didn't even have to say Tadashi's name for Hiro to know who he was talking about.

Hiro sighed and slumped back down into the booth.

"I'm sorry…. I… I guess I just… I don't know. I didn't think...."

"No… no, don't. Of course you didn't think. I mean who wants to be reminded of that. The whole idea was to not think about it. And I just ruined it all by bringing it up. Gah…. I'm so sorry."

Fred put his arms over his head and brought his knees up to his chest as if trying to make himself as physically small as he felt. Hiro just had to laugh at the sight in spite of himself.

"It's okay Fred. You're not going to upset me just by talking about Tadashi."

Fred peaked his head out from between his arms. "I'm not?"

"No. I mean he was your friend too."

"My best friend! Man, Tadashi and I, we got up to all sorts of trouble. He was always down for anything. I mean, did he tell you about the time we crashed my cousin's bar mitzvah? As in, we literally crashed. He drove the sport's car into the buffet table by mistake… We couldn't find the parking and then there was this wet patch in the parking lot and we skidded… Oh and then there was the time Mole dared us to a drag race using scooters and Tadshi had the idea to attach rockets to mine and I went flying.. I tell ya, man, Mole wouldn't live it down for a whole week after. He kept demanding a rematch, but I mean it was fair. He was using his butler to ride for him in his place."

Hiro could barely contain his laughter, "Wait… wait… you and Tadashi did all this?"

"Yeah."

"Why have I never heard of any of this before?"

"I don't know, but he's the whole reason why I got the mascot job in the first place. I knew I could never get into the school myself, but I thought we could hang out together more if I went. He's also the one that introduced me to everybody else."

"Then how did you two meet?"

"Oh at the grocery store."

Fred said this as if it was the most obvious of explanations but Hiro looked as confused as ever. So Fred continued on.

"He was there getting chewing gum and I was buying a shopping cart. Like an actual shopping cart."

"Why?"

"Yeah that's what he asked too. So I told him, 'I'm going to ride down Dead Man's Hill in one.' And he said, 'Dude, that's so rad. You're totally going to die.' And I said, 'Yeah, I know. You wanna join?' And he did. We rode all the way down from the top of Lumbar Street to the docks… and landed right in the bay. It was awesome! We screamed our heads off the whole time. It was so awesome, in fact, that we walked back to the store and bought another cart just to do it again. That was back when we were both still in high school, and we've been best buds ever since. You know… until…"

Hiro looked at Fred sadly. There so much about his brother that hadn't known about, hadn't even thought to ask. What else had Tadashi not shared with him? Probably a lot, I mean why tell your kid brother about your social life? And there's no way that he'd have brought those crazy stunts up around Aunt Cass.

"I never knew any of that… Those are some really cool stories. Thanks for sharing them."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and you know, you don't have to drag me on some superheroing mission just to hang out and talk."

Fred looked guilty at that.

"I… I know… but it's like what you and Wasabi have been saying. Everyone else has something… something to motivate them, and y'all all do all these really cool things and I'm… I'm just me. I don't really have anything but superheroing. Unless you just need someone to make a mess."

"That's not true. Fred, you're great at a lot of things. You could go to school or get a job, if you wanted to. I just thought superheroing was all you wanted."

"Hiro, I can't even do laundry without messing up. I mean all you do is throw the clothes into a machine and push a button, and yet somehow I managed to screw even that up. All I know is comic books, and superheroing, and I'm not even the best at that! What would I even go to college for? I can't… I'm not a genius. I'm not a businessman. I'm not an accountant, or an artist, or an athlete. I'm not anything. I've no talent. I'm not even good at being rich. I've never fit in with the socialite crowd."

"Fred."

"Yeah?"

"You're good at being a friend, and if I have to sit here list off everything else you're good at then we'd be here for another three hours or more. So how about we head home and tomorrow I'll show you how to work a washing machine, and you can teach me how a stake-out is supposed to really go cause we're not getting anywhere here."

"Or are we?"

"What do you mean?"

Fred was no longer looking at Hiro but past him. He pointed to the window behind Hiro, and Hiro turned around to see for himself.

An elderly gentleman, dressed in an old fashioned military outfit, complete with a monocle, was entering the warehouse. He had a giant mechanical arm and a steam boiler strapped to his back.

"Baron Von Steamer."

                                               ---------------------------

Fred and Hiro found themselves standing in the alley peering through the warehouse's dirty windows for a second time that day. They saw Baron Von Steamer stomping around inside. He seemed irritated as he grumbled to himself and knocked boxes out of the way, as if searching for something.

"What's he doing?" Fred loudly whispered.

Just then Steamer found what he was looking for, a tea cup. He poured himself a cup out of a teapot he had placed on an old fashioned stove that was hidden towards the back and then sat down on top of a crate to sip his drink.

"It must be 'tea time' for him." Hiro said dryly.

Fred narrowed his eyes, "I bet he's just hatching his next nefarious scheme. Planning on how to take us and the city down. What do you think he wants with portals?"  

Just then Steamer stood up and ruefully kicked away a busted up robot that had fallen out of a storage crate in his previous hunt for the tea cup.

"I don't think Steamer is our guy." Hiro said, "He hates modern technology, so why would he build ninja robots? Also, like you said, what would he want with portals? All he's after is your dad, and so far the Bosu hasn't gone after Boss Awesome yet."

"But they might. Remember what Roddy said? That Kensei guy used to be active during Dad's heyday but never got caught. What if, it's because Steamer had two villain identities!"

"That seems like a stretch."

"Okay, well, what if Steamer works for this Bosu? Like Sue and Sparkles?"

"That's more plausible, I guess."

Hiro turned to peer through the window again, but Streamer was gone.

'Wait, where did he go?'

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? A pair of interlopers." A curt British voice  came from behind them.

Steamer must have noticed them and snuck around the back, cutting them off.

Hiro grabbed his phone in order to call his super suit, but Von Steamer nabbed his hand and yanked him off the ground, causing him to lose hold of his phone.

Fred was just as unfortunate, as Steamer held him in a choke hold in his metal arm.

"Waaaait," Steamer said as he eyed them both up closely, peering at them through his oversized monocle, "I know you two. You're friends of Boss Awesome's baby child!"

"I am Boss Awesome's baby child!" Fred protested before Von Steamer gave him a hard squeeze with his cyborg arm. Fred wheezed in pain.

Hiro reacted quickly and kicked the steampunk baron in the shins.

Von Steamer howled in pain and dropped Hiro in surprise, though he managed to keep his grip on Fred. He also had stepped on Hiro's phone while nursing his injured leg.

Hiro ducked and ran as Steamer regained his senses and pulled out a brass gun that was connected to the boiler on his back with a hose. He pulled the trigger and scalding steam shot out. Hiro ducked again to avoid it.

As he ran out of the alley way he heard Steamer shouting after him, "Yes, run back to Boss Awesome little one. Tell his baby child I have their friend, and either he, or they, must show up to face me or else!"

Hiro spared a glace backwards and saw Baron Von Steamer dragging Fred back into the warehouse.

"Fred!"

"Hiro!" Fred called out to him before being pulled into the darkness.

Hiro panicked. What could he do? Finally, he decided that getting help was the best option. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him, fighting back his worry.

[hawksugarbaby]

Todoroki x reader- Fix you with gold

Angst + Villain reader Au

Quirk: kintsugi- you can manipulate strings of gold hardening it as soon as you need to you can also remelt it.

Crimson lights flooded the bare brick room as you watched from the corner waiting for your dear hero to wake up. Shoto todoroki. You had been well acquainted a few years back. When you haven't been coined as (y/n) (y/ln) the UA traitor but now, well not so much for obvious reasons.

Thankfully, the boy you had once loved more than anything was chained up against a chair with his head hanging low avoiding the glare of the red filter. No no this isn't your boring old yandere simulator storyline. You had no intentions of killing everyone who looked at your dear peppermint boy, you had no of killing him because you loved him that was just absolutely ridiculous... no, you were killing him because he was a hero. But was he really?

Your chair screeched as you pulled it along behind you appearing from your corner and sitting yourself down drinking a lovely tea from a beautiful porcelain cup... well, beauty is subjective. "Good morning shoto" you greeted, your cheery attitude slipping between your grit teeth. Yes, today would be a good day "lovely day, isn't it? For a little chit chat hm?" silence. Once again your response was silence "oh come on my little hero I know you're not dead. Yet" it was a fun game you two had. You would talk, he would not, but all your conversations were rather one-sided and you decided chess was more fun with 2 people. Today was going to be the day you broke him once again.

"Shoto, are you interested in what would happen to you if you keep up this silly game of silence?" you asked and finished off the tea spinning the handle around your index finger. You stood up and launched the cup against the wall fragmenting into small pieces that rained down like drops of blood, he winced knowing that the cup was expensive and not easily found. rich boys and their pottery. "I wonder how easily you shatter compared to a teacup. Shall we find out?"

You put your finger on his chin and forced his head up to look at you. His mismatched eyes bore into you with sadness "I used to love you" he whispered. You let go of him and maniacal laugh erupted from inside you which bounced off the walls into his ears "Shoto you still love me. You want me to change my ways and go back to the way I was, maybe join you as your sidekick hm?" he looked at you his eyes wide with the kindling of hope "WELL NEWSFLASH HERO I never was that girl. I was a lie, a book wrote and edited to suit you" you watched as the hope dwindled away the kindles blowing out in the icy wind of your words you leaned down to his ear and whispered "everything you saw in me was an illusion. I could never be a hero, do you know why? Because heroes aren't real"

you stood back up stretching your arms behind your back a Cheshire smile graced your face. "you still have so much time to join me sho, no ones coming to find you, dearest" you sat back down on your chair leaning forward on your hand "you're a villain (y/n) there isn't a way in hell you could convince me to come to your side" you bit the inside of your cheek and pushed yourself off the chair and walking up to him, your face barely inches apart. You kicked his chair over, flicking a butterfly knife out holding it close to his neck "NO. I'M THE GOOD GUY HERE I-IM THE GOOD ONE. YOUR NO HERO I'M CLOSER TO A HERO THAN YOU'LL EVER BE" you spat while he struggled on his back like a helpless tortoise. You were in the right of course you were. Heroes aren't real anymore just read the news the hierarchy was crumbling and the ones who were at the top had the furthest to fall.

No one needs saviours anymore. "Your insane (y/n) your sick please just let me help you" you hated it when they told you that "SHUT UP. I'M NOT I'M NOT I'M NOT. I'M NORMAL. YOU'RE THE SICK ONE YOU KNOW WHY" you pushed the knife up drawing pinpricks of blood that trickled to the floor slowly "because you crave to feed a hunger you cannot satisfy. You want to save as many people as possible, lock up all the villains yes?" he couldn't look away from the intense expression that hadn't left your face since he told you you were a villain "what happens when you lock up the villains hm? When you run out of people to save? Who runs wild through the city then? You pump out heroes every day leaving less and less for you and between you and me it looks like your going to run out of us soon" you pulled the knife back and todoroki released the breath stored up. Now he looked at it, you weren't wrong? What would happen when the villains disappeared. The heroes that were supposed to make people feel safe no matter what had struck fear into the hearts of every civilian in the world, no one dared to steal, to murder, to light their fires across the country for them to trace back to a warehouse in the middle of the wood?

No, he couldn't be thinking about that. He was a hero through and through you wouldn't change his mind with a petty butterfly knife. You scoffed at his pathetic state squirming under you and stood up pulling his chair back up along with you "you're still so handsome shoto, it really would be the biggest shame to ruin you" you sighed remembering a time when you truly wanted to be with him no matter what. But your ideologies just weren't compatible. "Do you know what happens when you mix bleach and rubbing alcohol?" you pulled a bottle of anti-septic out of your pocket and slipped a white cloth down from your sleeve to your hand "no answer? Or are you being ignorant again" he pursed his lips keeping his words sealed in the front of his mouth "fine. Let me show you." you poured the anti-septic on the cloth and walked up to the gorgeous boy in front of you stooping down "last chance my love" he looked at the wall and you groaned in annoyance. You forced the cloth in front of his mouth and nose and smiled sweetly "you make chloroform"

Day 2

Well, it turns out yesterday wasn't the day. But he was getting close you could feel it, you would take a slightly softer approach today there was another name for this, manipulation. "Morning shoto, are you feeling chatty today?" he looked up from his chair quickly when you entered. Despite what others thought, you weren't completely heartless, you would bring him food and water, and for a hostage, it was pretty good food. Maybe it was the remnants of your love that made you treat him differently. You unlocked his chains and passed him his plate. He knew there was no chance of escape, he had tried and failed a hundred times, he couldn't use his quirk in this room, and you were waiting around every corner when he tried to run.

"You know what I really don't understand shoto?" you wandered around the ruby room admiring the walls that kept him inside "when I first met you you said you despised your father and you would go against him in every way possible" he ceased eating at the mention of his father his appetite suddenly lost in the crowd of emotions "so why even become a hero. Why did you not run off? be the opposite of what he ever told you to be?" you were getting there you could feel it ripping through the air. He was lost, and confused? Who did he want to be? Certainly not anything like his father? Why did he ever want to be a hero? To save children who had to bear what he bore, why should he care for them if no hero ever cared for him "as I see it your father is worse than ever is he not? He lost Touya, he can't find you, he's wearing fuyumi and natsuo away desperate to have his perfect creation. Wouldn't now be the best time to join me sho" the plate hit the floor splitting apart just like his own sanity. Here we go. This would be so fun.

You sat cross-legged on the floor in front of him and picked up the pieces of the broken plate stacking them in your hand "you've heard of kintsugi I assume?" of course he had he grew up with everything, he nodded hesitantly his dual coloured fringe hanging in front of his eye as he leaned over watching you intently. You started laying the pieces of the plate out like a jigsaw fitting them together perfectly "if you just took my offer sho..." you started pushing the pieces together and lines of gold brushed over the old cracks, you lifted up the plate and put it on his lap "I could fix you up with gold" you whispered he gulped and traced his finger over the gold that welded the plate making it better than before. "We could get to know each other again. Love each other REALLY love each other shoto please I'm begging you" you really hated playing the broken lover card especially to someone you truly did love, and of course, you wanted to know him all over again but the begging really was a chore you had to fake so much emotion.

"I-i missed you (y/n) I really did I want you to come back to me the way you were before. Don't do this please" he begged. He knew this was it. He couldn't hang on any longer he had missed you for so long he couldn't stand being away from you again and ... you were right! Why should he strive to be a hero when none had ever cared for him when he was almost dead, beaten up by his own father who had the audacity to call himself a hero. He was nothing more than the creature to be puppeteered by Viktor Frankenstein. "THIS IS ME. can't you see that shoto this is who I am? The way I was before was fictional I tailored for you" you brushed your hand across his scarred cheek and brushed his hair out of his face "but you could know me, you could love me like this, couldn't you. You just need to join my side."

he looked at you, taking in your details for the first time in 4 years. You're (e/c) orbs didn't even try to attempt hiding the craziness behind them, the way your grin had a sadistic twist that could make any god coil in fear, your (h/l) (h/c) that was matted and bloody, the way the red light mimicked the bloodlust radiating off of you, yet he could still find comfort in it. "I want to know you," he said in his low monotone voice. The breaking point. You were his breaking point. "Let's get to know each other then hm?"

[strongsassysexysloane]

Thirteenth Day of Twelve - An Epilogue You Weren't Expecting

A/N - Surprise to almost all. I wanted to write the teams reaction and I hoped I pulled it off along with other things...

. . . .

"Baby..." You moaned, as Jack crawled off you and headed for the bathroom.

She turned around with her hands on her hips, wearing only your hoodie and panties. "Didn't take you long to create that nickname."

"Shut up you like it." You smirked at her slight blush and she continued into the ensuite.

"You know I'm going to have to go home soon."

"I did not know this." You made it sound like it was the most absurd thing she's ever said. "What would posess you to do such a thing?"

"Shut up." You head the sound of flushing and then the tap. "As much as I loved spending the night and morning with you, hun. I need to get ready for work tomorrow."

You sighed, slumping back down into bed. You knew this was the inevitablity after spending almost the last 24 hours with her and only four of them were sleep. "fine. Still layout worst idea, ever."

"Well that's a lite dramatic." She smirked, standing in the doorway with her hand stretched up against the frame, making the hem of her shirt rise.

You knew it was her plan but to hell with being caught. Your eyes tracked from her feet up her toned calves, thighs that you could spend hours looking at and...

"Ahem."

"Please come here." You all but moaned.

"Ok but this time -" She walked slowly towards the bed.

"Anything you want. We agreed, now come here so I can kiss you." This time there was a groan just before Jack was in reach and you pulled her down onto you.

She left a few hours later before sunset claiming there were still chores to be done and washing to be put on. But you both agree of work wasn't busy this next week that.youd spend some 'school' nights over her place. Nothing was defined yet but neither of you cared. Whatever this was, was the best gift you'd ever gotten.

Monday morning came around and you walked into the bullpen. It looked like you were the first one into work, other than Gibbs, it was 0800. After you dumped your gear at your desk, you heard the laughter of all five of your friends walking down the main stairs. They caught your eye and all grinned like cheshire cats. You eyed them suspeciously until a certain beautiful blonde walked out of the hallway and jogged to catch them.

"Kasie you forgot-" She stopped half way down the stairs when she saw you and almost looked guilty.

Your suspicious gaze moved from the five cats to your Jack. "Okay, what the hell am I missing?" You questioned with your hands on your hips.

"Her gun is locked in the drawer right?" You heard Jimmy not so quietly whisper, taking a step back.

"Too many cameras for her to get away with six homicides." Nick added, taking a step closer to Ellie.

"Five."

"Five?" Jimmy questioned looking from you to everyone else, double checking his numbers.

"I wouldn't kill Jack." You shrugged with a smirk, locking eyes with Jack who had joined the rest of you in the bullpen.

You heard awes from you assumed Kasie and Ellie. Jack stepped through the group and came around to stand beside you behind your desk. She placed a quick peck on your cheek which you leaned into before whispering, "They all came to ask how my final present went Saturday night." She tucked your hair behind your ear before placing another kiss on your cheek.

You were meant to be smiling, she was being all touchy feely in front of the team and you had dreamed of this for months but you could only frown.

They knew?

"Here it comes." Jimmy took a step back, hiding behind Nick who was half standing behind Ellie.

"You all knew?!" You all but shouted.

The grins were back up except for Jimmy, you couldn't see his mouth.

"Known for a while actually." In walked Gibbs, squeezing past the group and sat at his desk.

"Wait he knew?!" You looked at Gibbs who was glaring at you. "Sorry- wait no I'm not. You told Gibbs?" You turned to Jack who was trying her best not to laugh but failing miserably. Her eyes always gave her away.

She intertwined your fingers, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. While your other hand still stayed on your hip. "Told him first. Had to have an inside man before I left for NOLA -"

"So Elaine didn't tell you I ordered. Jack did." Gibbs nodded slowly. "Lucky I didn't interrogate her."

"I'd pay to see that." Gibbs chuckled, your glare didn't help.

"Tim found out next then Kasie and then somehow everyone else found out." She raised a brow at Kasie.

She held up her hands. " I did my best but Nick caught me at Y/ns desk and then everyone else found out." Eyes were on Nick.

"I'm still slightly offended you couldn't trust me to keep a secret, Agent Sloane." Jimmy stepped out from behind Nick.

"Oh please you couldn't lie to save your life." Nick pointed out kind of harshly but Jimmy swayed his head and agreed.

"No offence Jimmy but I really wasn't planning on telling anyone until I got called away to NOLA."

"Called away?" You all turned to see Vance standing on the halfway landing on to stairs.

You went to let go of Jack's hand but she held on tight. "Please don't tell me-"

"Oh I figured it out on day one." Leon smiled at you.

"Only because you saw me putting the chocolates on Y/ns desk, Leon." Jack rolled her eyes and Leon shrugged.

The others laughed, Tim and Ellie going and sitting at their desks leaving Nick to rest against Ellie's desk and Jimmy and Kasie to keep standing near yours. Leon continued on his journey to his actual destination.

"Now that the cats out of the bag can we get back to work?"

"Sure." Jack answered Gibbs and then turned to you with a big smile. "Want to have lunch with me later?"

You grinned, ignoring everyone watching you. "Just us?"

"Just us."

"It'll be-" Gibbs actually stopped. Stopped mid grumble at Jack's pointed glare.

"The sooner I finish my conversation, cowboy, the sooner she'll get to work. Plus work doesn't technically start for another..." She checked her watch. "Ten minutes."

There was silence from everyone. Kasie and Jimmy slowly stepped back, retreated to the elevator while Nick walked over to his desk.

"It's a Christmas miracle." Nick joked but soon shut up when Gibbs glare moved from Jack to Nick.

"I'd love to." You beamed and leant in to kiss Jack on the cheek but she turned and you connected with her lips. You heard a flurry of clapping from behind you which could only be Ellie before you succumbed to Jack's touch before it melted away all too quickly.

"I'll come down when I'm hungry and pick you up." She smirked, the twinkle in her eye only for you to see which almost made you blush.

You could only nod and she was gone. "I still can't believe you all knew. Even-" You looked down at the clock. "Still got a few minutes. Even Gibbs." You continued and saw a smirk appear on the bosses' face.

The hunger happened at just after midday. No new case for the team so Jack grabbed your hand and tugged you out of the office. Ellie couldn't stop smiling.

"Wait Jack-" She piped up and you both stopped walking and turned.

"Was Dinner the final gift or..."

You both smirked and looked at each other before turning back to Bishop.

"Or?" Jack raised a brow while.you stayed silent. To be fair, she hadn't really clarified it either.

"You know..." Nick popped up beside Bishop, waving his finger between you both.

You couldn't help but laugh, Jack however held her poker face strong. "I do know, Nick, and that's something you'll never find out."

You groaned and Jack looked at you, your cheeks flushing, knowing what was about to happen.

"See by not answering that, you've answered it loud and clear." Nick grinned, having bested Jack Sloane, sort of.

"Well played Nicholas." She conceded. "Now I need food and a makeout session so I can get my head back in the game."

You couldn't believe the words that flew.oit of her mouth.

"I said it and I don't regret it."

Luckily the elevator doors opened and you both hopped in.

"Don't hold up the elevator!" You head Nick shout before the doors closed and you both laughed.

"That's what cars are for." You mumbled before Jack's lips were on yours, your hands immediately gripping her waist and pulling her close.

The kiss didn't last long because you hadn't held up the elevator but it was enough for you never want to stop. You'd missed her. It seemed silly but not having her beside you in bed last night just felt wrong.

"Come home with me tonight." You breathed, as she stepped away and the elevator came to a stop.

She interlaced your fingers together and walked.off the elevator. "Miss me last night?"

Even though she was being lighthearted and teasing, you saw the hope in her eyes. "Yes and this morning and about half an hour ago...sorry."

She stopped walking, tugging you close, ignoring all the people walking around you on the path. "Don't be sorry. I missed you too." With her other hand she reached up and tucked some hair behind your ear. "Missed the little purrs you make in your sleep, the steady rise and fall of your breathing, the smile I saw when I woke up Sunday morning and the constant whining-" She laughed into the kiss but it disappeared slowly and time stood still.

"Is that a yes?" You ghosted over her lips, mission the corner of her mouth, then her cheek.

"Yes." She breathed. "Yes to tonight, yes to tomorrow and yes to me being.your gift and now the dinner."

You threw your head back and laughed. She knew how to perfectly ruin a moment but make it better at the same time. "I knew it!"

Jacqueline Sloane was the perfect gift. She was a gift to whomever she met and came across and you were one lucky son of a bitch to get to call her yours for as long as she'd have you.

. . . .

Unsure how far out of character Jack may be in this one but 🤷🏼‍♀️ it's my own creation so who knows what JS is like behind closed doors. Hope you liked it. I'll get back to writing other things now.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Nine

Words: 4.1k

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse

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I've never seen Nikki like this. I've rarely seen him cry, I've never seen him cry sober, and I've never even known it was possible for him to let himself cry like this. 

He's sobbing an excruciatingly painful cry, head between his knees, hands in his hair. 

Is this how he felt when I was locked in the bathroom for hours, screaming and crying and wailing out sorrow after learning about him and Vanity? Helpless and shitty, knowing he'd go back and change what he did if he could but knowing that telling me that wouldn't make me feel any better? 

I don't say anything. Amber doesn't say anything. We both just let him get it all out.

Minutes later, when he starts trying to calm down, he slowly wipes his eyes and glances up at me, before he starts up again, shaking his head, hanging his head low once again. 

"Vivian," Amber says softly over him and I look at her. "Go to him." She mouths, motioning to him and I raise my brows. 

Has she lost her fucking mind? He's probably pissed and distraught enough to choke me out, right now. He probably hates me, and I don't blame him. 

"Go." She mouths, sternly, waving her hand in his direction and I take a heavy breath and slowly get out of my seat and very carefully step to him.

"Nikki," I say weakly, getting on my knees,  my shaking hand rubbing his shoulder. 

He wraps his arms around me, tight, pulling me to him, burying his face into my shoulder. 

"I'm sorry." He tells me, and I squeeze my eyes shut, squeezing him. 

"It's not your fault, Nikki, it's not your fault." I assure him, holding back my own tears. 

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry, Vivian."  He argues through his tears. 

We just hold each other, and when he calms down a little bit, Amber calmly says, "Nikki, why are you so upset over this?" 

She knows why, she just wants him to confirm. 

He pulls away from me and sniffles and I wipe his stray tears with my thumbs before reaching to her desk where she's holding out her box of tissues for me to grab. 

"Because I know it's my fault." 

"Why do you think it's your fault?"

"Because I had an affair, first, and she went to him because she was really hurt." He shakily lets out, trying to bring himself back down from his hysteria. 

"Nikki, look at your wife." Amber says to him and he looks me in the eyes, obviously struggling not to look away. "Repeat after me, alright?" 

He nods. 

"Vivian, I'm sorry." She starts and more tears topple from his eyes. 

"Vivian, I'm--" He takes a breath. "I'm sorry." 

"That I made you feel," 

"That I made you feel," 

"Like you had no other choice," 

"Like you had no other choice,"

"But to go have sex with someone else,"

"But to go have sex with someone else,"

"Despite it being no fault of my own," 

"Despite it being…" He closes his eyes and sighs, as if trying to make this part engrain into his mind, "...no fault of my own," 

"Despite you being in charge of your body and what you do with it," 

"Despite you being in charge of your body and what you do with it," 

"I am so sorry."

"I am so sorry." 

"Please, forgive me."

"Please, forgive me." 

"Now, Vivian." Amber says to me, next, and I sniffle, looking at her. "Look at your husband." 

I look at him and rub my lips together, nervously. 

"Repeat after me." She adds and I nod. "Nikki, I'm sorry." 

"Nikki, I'm sorry." 

"That I made an irrational decision," 

"That I made an irrational decision,"

"After years of hiding hurt and pain and heartbreak because of your irrational decisions,"

"After years of hiding hurt and pain and heartbreak because of your irrational decisions," 

"But this is not your fault," 

"But this is not your fault," 

"I no longer want to blame my mistakes on others,"

"I no longer want to blame my mistakes on others," 

"You did not force me to get in bed with someone else," 

"You did not force me to get in bed with someone else," 

"You just made me feel like I didn't have a choice,"

"You just made me feel like I didn't have a choice,"

"Because the pain of learning of your affair,"

"Because the pain of learning of your affair," 

"Put an irrational thought and sought out decision in my mind and I could not help myself enough to extinguish it."

"Put an irrational thought and sought out decision in my mind and I could not help myself enough to extinguish it."

"Please, forgive me."

"Please, forgive me." 

"Okay," Amber nods, her voice soothing, "Nikki, what it is that you need to tell Vivian before you two continue to work on this relationship." 

It's clear that this is something he's already discussed with her, and I wait patiently as he exhales, very, very, heavily. 

I can't imagine what it looked like from outside the door of Amber's office. If a passerby happened to peek in the small little window of the door…

"Roxy, Vanity, Donna…" I shakily state. 

I'm not in a ball, pleading with God to kill me like I was when I first found out he had dared to see another woman, but now that I know better…

"...And some others." His tears are dry now, as if he's mustering up all of his macho manliness to brace for impact when I start trying to hit him. 

"Some others?" I clench my jaw, my nails digging into his jeans where they're resting over his kneecaps and he rubs his face. 

"A few others." He says next, avoiding a definite number. 

"How many is a 'few'?" I grit out and he looks at Amber. 

"Tell her." She encourages him, sternly. 

"Nikki," 

He lets out a breath and he clears his throat. 

"If a 'few' were to have a number, about how many would it be that you've had some exchange that would be considered cheating in your wife's mind, from the time you got married to now." Amber adds. 

"Around two-hundred." He admits. 

I think he's kidding at first, over exaggerating or being sarcastic because I can't fathom sleeping with two hundred people in four years while in a supposed committed relationship. 

"You're full of shit." I let out a terrified chuckle and he closes his eyes for a second. "Seriously, Nikki, what's the number?" 

"Why does it matter? You're staying with him after one, aren't you?" Amber asks and I look at her. 

"Maybe a little more than that, maybe a little less, I didn't try to keep count." He mumbles.

"Y-You've slept with…you…" I feel a prickling, scalding heat all over my skin. 

I get myself away from him to try to calm myself down, but I can't. 

It's like putting baking soda and vinegar together. 

"Nikki, why did you do that?" Is all I can get out that isn't about how much I hate him right now. 

"The same reason you went to him. Because I felt like I didn't have any other option and I was desperate." 

"Desperate for what?!" I demand, enraged, now. 

"Vivian," Amber starts but I completely cut her short. 

"I went to Duff because I had spent years in a marriage with a junkie that did everything he could to choose drugs over me and throw me to the fucking wolves!" 

"And I spent years in a marriage to an ungrateful bitch that I couldn't ever make happy!" He snaps next, standing up. 

"I would've been plenty happy had you sobered the fuck up!" 

"You'd lay in bed for weeks at a time and refuse to take your fucking medication and then wouldn't even let me try to touch you, Vivian, and God fucking knows the times you'd actually let me try to get it in, you'd lay there like sex with me was the most boring chore in the fucking world! And the times you weren't like that, you'd still manage to watch me break my back to make you happy and then spit in my fucking face and act like it wasn't ever gonna be enough, that I wasn't ever gonna be a enough!" 

"I was depressed, Nikki!"

"Trust me, I know, I fucking know!" He shouts back. 

An ear piercing screech makes us both shut up and wince, and I see Amber holding an airhorn. 

"I don't yell." She states, a brow raised as she looks at us. "Sit down. Both of you." She orders next and we both slowly sit down, taking deep breaths. "No wonder you're in such bad shape--neither of you know how to talk to each other. You just talk at each other and start yelling when the other person gets defensive over you talking at them." She snaps, shaking her head a little. "And quit cursing at each other. That's another reason you're in this mess. You're both bitter and poisonous and contaminating each other." She adds, sternly, and we slink down in our chairs. "Vivian, he has shot you, he has strangled you, publicly humiliated you, he has chosen everything under the sun over you, but you draw the line at the fact he's had sex with two-hundred other women?" 

I don't say a word. 

"Why is that the thing that's going to break the camel's back? When you come in here pregnant with another man's baby and got him on his knees crying and telling you it's his fault?" She goes in on me. "Go from crying and boohooing together to calling each other awful names and cursing and 'eff this' and 'eff that' and 'eff you'--can I tell you something? You can't stand each other now but once upon a time you must've really liked whatever it is that drives you crazy about the other person because you chose each other and married each other." She reminds us. "And I know it isn't just the drugs that cause fights because he's completely sober today and you're jumping on him for being honest with you when there's been times he has lied through his teeth to hell and back to you." She looks at me. "And you," she looks at Nikki. "I better not hear you ever call your wife a 'bitch' again. She's not a dog, even though you love to talk to her like she is one."

Again, we're both quiet.

"Vivian, how do you feel about Nikki admitting to you that he's been unfaithful?" She asks. 

"You can't tell how I feel?" I smartly ask. 

"Screaming and cursing isn't explaining how you feel. I don't specialize in translating foolishness--I specialize in helping people heal through positive communication--not verbal abuse." She replies. "Now, how do you feel about what your husband shared with you?" 

"I'm mad." 

"Why?" 

"Because…" I feel tears come to my eyes. 

"Because why?" 

I sniffle. 

"You two talk to each other like you've never had to walk through something and communicate peacefully and calmly about a situation." She says next, handing me a tissue. 

"We haven't, really." Nikki admits while I'm occupied with trying to stop my crying. 

"You've been together for six years, nearly seven, and you've never talked through a disagreement or bump in the road?" 

We both just avoid looking at her. 

"You just yell and scream until one of you finally gives up in the argument and drops it completely?" She asks next. 

"Basically." He says.

"Sex." I add, wiping my nose. "We usually just sleep together and then we're over whatever it is we were fighting about." I explain and she raises her brows.

"I promise you, none of it's been taken care of or gotten over. Anything you've fought about in the past that you tried to fix with sex has all been pent up and built up over the years and has been coming out within the last year, especially, in some form of abuse or neglect to the other person." She informs us. "And that's why you're so angry." She tells me. "Because that is a potent form of intimacy that you have on a pedestal and it's important to you. And while you've been using it over the years as a means to make things right with him, and to try to be intimate with him and reconnect with him while he's been closed off on drugs and not himself, he's been going out and giving it away to whoever." 

I nod because it's true and she nods with me. 

"I know why he went to so many other women and we'll get to that in a moment, why did you start your relationship with the now father of your child?" She asks me calmly.

"Because I was tired." I admit, my tears finally subsiding. "And I was hurt, and I just needed to be with someone who wouldn't hurt me."

"You needed someone who would protect you." 

"Yes." I agree, sniffling. 

"There's a theme that keeps reoccurring with you and it's overexposure and need of protection," She tells me and I nod, "Which is typically what fathers are in charge of in the household so tell me what your dad was like while you were growing up." She says and I lick my lips, smiling, thinking of my dad. 

"The best dad in the world. He'd help me get ready for recitals if my mom couldn't, he'd take me anywhere I needed to go, he'd help me sneak things past my mom like records or clothes she wouldn't approve of or whatever, he'd be there if I needed to talk about anything--with no judgement--he was really good to me, and he still is." I tell her and she nods, smiling. 

"What I'm about to say isn't meant to belittle all the wonderful things he's done for you or undermine the work he's put in to raising you the best he could, but with your incredibly abrasive mother," she starts, "would he ever step in when she was tearing you down or would he just try to keep the peace?" 

"He did a couple times but for the most part he'd just tell me to ignore her and wouldn't start anything with her while she was doing it." 

"So he didn't protect you when he should have?" 

I stop for a moment, and look at her, pointedly. 

"I'm not saying he didn't love you or care for you and didn't look out for you--but when it came to your mother, did he or did he not do everything he could to protect you from her mental, spiritual, and emotional abuse?" 

"No." I breathe out shakily. 

"So you went from a father who didn't protect you and allowed you to be exposed to things you should not have been exposed to, to a husband who didn't protect you and allowed you to be exposed to things you should not have been exposed to." 

I nod again. 

"Do you know why he's had sex with so many women?" 

I shake my head. 

I don't think, "because he hates me," would be an acceptable answer. 

"Do you know why you've had sex with that many women while you were with Vivian?" She asks Nikki and he thinks about it for a second. 

"...I was bored." He says and she chuckles humorlessly. 

"Just a second ago you were throwing in her face that you went where you were going to feel appreciated. So put your ego aside." She states, furrowing her brows. "'I did the drugs because I was bored, I slept with all those women because I was bored, I put my wife through a living hell because I was bored'." She mimics so he can see how he sounds when he says it. "I don't think the man sitting here, crying over his wife getting pregnant with another man, had sex with one other woman, let alone two-hundred just because he was bored." She states, matter of fact. "Put this tough guy persona away and just be honest." 

He gets really quiet, his leg shaking as his foot taps. 

"Do you know the situation with his mother?" She asks me, suddenly. 

"I know the gist of it, he hasn't told me much about it." I tell her and she looks at him. 

"You expect your wife to understand why you do the things you do but you don't give her the information to piece together why you are the way you were brought up to be." She tells him. "We're out of time, but at some point before we meet again on Saturday, I want you to talk about your relationship with your mother." She says and he nods, hesitantly.

I look at him and can't bring myself to even say goodbye to him before I'm getting up and leaving. 

I can barely make it to my car without nearly tripping, tears clouding my vision. 

I get inside and hold my chest, feeling as if my heart is breaking all over again. 

Neither of us know each other anymore. I don't recognize him, not even sober, and I know he doesn't recognize me. 

Is this even worth it after all we've done to each other?

I wrinkle my nose slightly as I put my big toe up the bathtub's water faucet, expecting a big spider or something to bite me. 

Dropping my foot back into the water, I let out a breath. 

I've been sitting in luke warm water that was hot once upon a time. 

Now my skin's pruned and I'm waiting to get the motivation to just get up. 

It's the first attempt at self-care in two days and it's only because Nikki's been wanting to fool around and I haven't felt like it. 

I'm hoping being clean helps me feel like it. 

There's two knocks at the bathroom door before he's barging in, giving me a smile that brings his dimples to life. 

"I have food in the kitchen whenever you get out." He tells me, stepping to the tub, sitting on the edge of it. 

"I'll be there in a little bit." I assure him. 

"That's what you said an hour ago, Vivian." He reminds me harmlessly and I look at him and force myself to smile a tad. 

"Oh." I reply. 

There's a pause between us and he rubs the back of his neck. 

"Vivian, are you okay?" He asks, and I look up at him, forcing myself not to cry, and nod. 

"I'm fine, baby," I lie. "Just tired is all." 

"Still? You've been in bed for, like, nearly three days." He points out. 

"I'm just tired, Nikki." I repeat in the same tone, trying to sound convincing. 

He's not buying it, and when drops of tears push past my lashes, I know I'm no longer selling it. 

"I think maybe you need to get back on your medication." He suggests very quietly, as if saying it too loud is going to cause me to have a meltdown. 

"I don't need to be on it." I argue, wiping my eyes, sniffling and trying to force myself to stop crying.

"Vivian, you're not fucking happy."

"You don't know that." 

"I know when you're happy and when you're not." He points out…"Do I need to get you something or buy something or--"

"--I don't want anything, Nikki." I state.

"Well, I do." He informs me. "I wanna see my wife happy, again, genuinely happy. Not that fake bullshit you put on for me." He clarifies. "So, just--"

"--Get out." I say, shutting him down, not wanting to hear about it. 

He rolls his jaw and nods, getting up and leaving. 

He's back with a glass of water and my bottle of Nardil, putting them both on the side of the tub and standing over me to make sure I take it like he wants me to. 

I look at him, hurt, my brows furrowing, my eyes cutting at him, anger coursing through me as more tears topple down my cheeks and tense up.

"Get out." I repeat. 

"I'm not leaving until you stop being stubborn and take the damn--"

The water is slung at him while the glass is thrown at the mirror as, "get out!" Screeches out of my throat as I open the bottle and try to ring it in the toilet, sending pills flying in all directions while the bottle with a majority of the pills plops into the water all while I'm repeatedly screeching, "get out, get out, get out!" as tears sting my cheeks. 

"Vivian, fuck--" 

I'm hauling myself out of the tub and he avoids my violent intent by finally leaving, slamming the door behind him, and I slip and catch myself on the door knob, making sure to lock it as waves of weight push me to the floor, my chest hurting, my body aching, my spirit crying out to God for mercy.

I should have told him then about my recurrent miscarriages, I just didn't know how to. I just let myself take it and deal with it on my own and he took it as me being batshit crazy and depressed. I was, truthfully, but I had reason to be. I struggled with my medication because I didn't want to have to take a pill to be happy, but I was also beginning to think it was ruining my body and skewering each pregnancy. It wasn't, but I didn't know that, so I'd take it for a while, wean myself off, and ease back into it whenever I felt like I needed to through the years. I don't think I ever went a full complete year without purposely getting myself off of it at least once.

I shut my car door as I get out, raising my brow at the site of Duff's car in my driveway, stepping to the front door. 

I haven't heard anything from him. 

Which I've been prepared not to. I can play the kid off as Nikki's if I have to.

He didn't say anything yesterday when I told him I was pregnant. I mean, literally, nothing. 

I sat for twenty minutes just waiting for him to try to discuss it but all he did was sit and stare off into space, his face ghost white while Mandy excused herself to their room and probably cried the rest of the night. 

I guess he's got something to say, now. 

I go inside, putting my kids on the little table next to the door, kicking my heels off and carrying them in my hand. 

I turn the light on when I get out of the foyer, and see Duff passed out on the couch. 

He's got a vodka bottle tucked under his arm and put my stuff down and go over to him, taking the bottle away before he spills it on the couch. 

He takes in a breath, waking up and rubbing his eyes. 

"Hey, Viv," he tells me, sitting up the best he can, trying to pry the sleep from his eyes. 

I sit on the coffee table across from him, sighing out. 

"Hey, Duff," I reply, looking at him.

"What time is it?" He asks me, next. 

"Four o'clock." I inform him. 

"Oh," he mumbles, being quiet for another moment. "You look pretty." He says next and I smile a little. 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." He chuckles. "Which I guess that's what got us into this mess in the first place." He adds. "Well, not you being pretty--just me being a dumbass." He slurs, taking a deep breath. 

"Is Mandy okay?"

"Yeaaaah, she's not too happy with me right now." He admits. "I never told her about me and you when we got back together." 

"Oh." I say. 

"Oh." He repeats. 

"You know, Duff, you don't have to do all this…" I start, rubbing my lips together. "...If you're not comfortable with trying to make this work--because it's pretty unconventional--I'm not gonna be upset with you." 

"I had a shitty dad who left my mom to deal with bullshit she shouldn't have had to deal with by herself and I'm not doing that to you. That's fucked up. I did the crime, I can do the time." He states, tiredly. 

"I'm not gonna be by myself," I remind him, "Nikki's upset but he's not disowning me or anything." I add and he scoffs. 

"Of course he isn't." He sighs. "I think Mandy's still gonna stay with me. She hasn't thrown out her ring, so…" 

"Her ring?" I ask him, furrowing my brows. 

"I asked her to marry me yesterday morning." He informs me. 

"Oh, wow, tha-that's great, Duff." 

Was it completely stupid for him to propose to Mandy not even seven weeks after we broke up? Absolutely. Was it completely stupid of him to marry her three months later? Absolutely. Was I going to piss on his parade more than I already had? Absolutely not.

[shra-vasti]

MOON JUNHUI

Series : To all the boys

Pairing : Moon Junhui x reader

Type : non idol au, ex-couple au

Genre : angst, drama, fluff, romance

Warnings : cheating

Word count : 2k approx

Synopsis : You decided to write some letters to every boy who was a part of your past as your last message after getting diagnosed with chronical disease.

MAIN MASTERLIST

[Received, 12.10.2020] | one | previous | next

You couldn't be in contact with Jun for a long period of time now and you were starting to get used to his absence rather than missing the hell out of him.

You have had talks with Seokmin when he bumped into you few times and you were glad to hear he was finally going out with someone instead of being stuck up on you, you learned her name was Seuji and you were very happy for him feeling a weight was lift off your shoulders.

"I've been talking with a guy from other school."

You casually mumbled scrolling through your Instagram not paying much attention to it.

"You're talking with a guy? What's his name?"

"Yoon Jeonghan."

It was Seokmin who had asked you that question and he was accompanied by Zeny and Dani, all of you sitting on one of the benches which were located at the garden of your university.

"You mean to say Yoon Jeonghan from Hanlim school? As in the one who went to the same coaching class as us?"

The other three were more attentive and interested in your life than you were at this point cause you just nodded your head with a little hum, you weren't even talking with the said guy with much interest but you had been continously talking with him so you thought might as well inform them.

The only people who were currently aware of you being in a relationship with Jun was only Zeny and Andie but Andie was admitted to another University and you asked Zeny to shut her mouth up since you weren't sure about your relationship yourself.

You didn't even spend much time with Jun before he left, both of you did try your best, him being the one to reach out to you more and you didn't quite get the chance to properly be with him as a couple.

But getting used to the university life was sure tiring and most of the nights one of you would just crash down on the bed and sleep not having enough will in the body to stay up and talk with each other.

You knew Jun was trying his best but he was living with his family and being with the family had its own ristrictions as compared to when he was in Korea, living alone in his apartment.

This was the exact reason why you didn't fancy the idea of long distance relationship, you had never been to one before but you had hated it'd idea ever since you were aware of it.

"Why are you talking with him out of all the people?"

You looked at Seokmin raising your eyebrows, you knew he was getting jealous of you talking with someone else but he can't tell you what to do.

"Why? You got some problem with him? Is he that bad? I'm just talking, it's nothing serious."

"He told me the other day that you said you like him but I didn't believe and now you're telling me that you guys are talking."

"I didn't say I like him, I said I like him as in person, it isn't my fault he's so full of himself, don't worry and focus on your own life."

"Just be careful with him y/n."

"Sure, I'm going to meet him after few weeks when he'll be back from his hometown though."

You got up from your spot, packing your stuff and going off towards your next class. Your mind was clouded with Jun but you weren't sure what to do with him and you had a date with Jeonghan too, hanging out with new people instant supposed to be a crime when you're in relationships right?

"Jun come on pick up the phone."

Your heart beat was irregular as you anxiously dialed his number one after the other but he wasn't picking up.

You had met with Jeonghan today and you didn't expect it to turn out like it did. Now that you were back from it, you suddenly remembered about Jun which you had completely forgotten since the last few weeks.

Your breath hitched as you looked at the time, you knew Jun must have return from his college since it was late at night but you weren't sure why he wasn't picking up your calls and you needed to talk with him.

You groaned when he didn't pick up your call for 8th time deciding to just write him a message instead since you were getting drained due to nervousness and as the time passed, you were overthinking about how he would react.

You took a deep breath thinking about how you were going to start, you didn't expect yourself to lose control over your conscious state so easily.

To Jun : Hey, how have you been? I am sorry I couldn't contact you from past few weeks and you were too busy too, I tried calling you so many times because I wanted to talk to you about something but you weren't picking up so this is the only way I could get done with this and not feel anxious. Jun, I'm sorry, I know you would be confused as to why I am apologizing but I'm really really sorry, I'm crying as I write this I'm sorry I betrayed you. I never thought I would get attached with Jeonghan, I didn't think too much while I hungout with him, I genuinely saw him as a friend Jun, but he was so sweet to me and we kind of clicked, I was missing hanging out with you and he was there to fill your spot that I couldn't push him away, your thoughts were completely blocked by the thoughts of him, I forgot about you, I'm so sorry.

You took a deep breath to steady yourself as you wiped out your tears before hitting the sent button, he wasn't even delivered, he wasn't even online. You took the phone again typing another message.

To Jun : I don't think I can continue our relationship with the guilt I'm carring and you deserve better, I'm sorry I betrayed you like that I wasn't in my right mind I'm so sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me but don't blame yourself please, you're my best friend and this just isn't right. I shouldn't have broke your trust like that but whenever I am with Jeonghan I can't think of anything else other than him please don't be angry I really want to apologise for the damaged that I caused but this relationship just wouldn't work, I can't do this, I can't handle long distance relationship well I'm sorry.

You hit the sent button, getting away from the phone and started doing the house chores to keep yourself busy till the time he replied but he didn't.

You finished the chores later and went towards your phone to see if anything was sent but it wasn't which disappointed you as well as made you more anxious, what was in that mind of his.

You went inside the shower to relax your muscles and got dressed and did your night routine before plopping on your bed and tucking yourself inside the blanket.

You got you phone to see just a single message notification, your heart beat increasing as you unlocked the phone.

To y/n : Have you lost your mind? Are you aware what you're trying to say? How can you do this to me? I thought you loved me y/n this isn't a joke. I am studying and working my ass off here just for me to come home to see this? Do you realize how happy I was seeing all those calls and messages from you thinking you just missed me that much only to find out what? That you cheated on me? Is that what you're trying to say? I loved you, I love you so damn much and you did this? You had the nerve to even message me about it y/n, do you realizes you have tore me apart. I don't even know how to behave how dare you? I'm so angry, I did so many things for you, I didn't care about my own reputation just to gain your love and you let it go to waste? Don't you dare contact me after this y/n it's over between us, how will I trust someone else after what you did to me? I'm blocking you, I don't even want to see your face cause I myself don't know if I would be able to control my anger if I did, I hope that you atleast don't cheat him. I hate you y/n I hope you realize what you lost and what you did. Don't contact me or show me your face ever again I'm blocking you.

Your eyes with in tears once again as you read his message again and again, you knew he had blocked you and he was so damn angry. He should be, you deserved his anger.

[sukkadeservedbetter]

It’s Different.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: After a dramatic and traumatizing experience at a gas station, things with Tom hit different.

Warnings: Mugging/Robbery

Word Count: 2.6 of fluff

You’ve always been oddly comforted by the smell of gasoline. Anything that smelled like a car garage had always left you with a sense of euphoria: new tires, exhaust pipes, and metals. It wasn't something you could really explain, but as the faint smell of gasoline entered your nose after a horribly long day at work, you welcomed it.

Your mother always told you not to let your mileage gauge get below 50 miles, but you never listened to her. Tonight you got to the gas station with 10 miles left. Tempting the fates was becoming a little hobby of yours—at least when it came to getting gas. Mainly because you hated pumping gas. It wasn't hard, or even a lot of work, but you always realized you needed gas at the worst possible times. Like tonight, for example. You didn't have anywhere to be, but you were tired. You debated whether you wanted to prolong getting into your comfy clothes tonight or wake up earlier tomorrow in order to fill your stupid car with gas. In the end, prolonging rest now seemed a whole lot better than waking up any earlier than you needed to tomorrow.

You begrudgingly dragged your exhausted body out of your car. It wasn't all that late, but the sun had gone down behind the hills and a faint wind nipped at your neck and cheeks. Summer was officially over, but the remanence of long, warm nights hung in the faint pink glow of the horizon. You scrolled through your phone mindlessly as your car's tank filled agonizingly slowly. You heard your mother's voice telling you that you should always wait in your car while pumping gas at night, just in case. You shook off her words. You lived in the sleepiest part of L.A. where nothing even remotely interesting happened. It was all families and Instagram models here—not crackheads and gangs.

The gas pump clicked, letting you know you were finally done with this heinous chore. You placed the pump back in its holster and finished up paying on the pin pad. As you pivoted on your left foot to turn around and hop into your car, you felt cool metal press against the back of your skull. Your throat closed immediately. The pounding in your chest became overwhelmingly loud. Your ears rang and everything began to slow. Whoever was behind you spoke, but you couldn't hear anything.

They teach you about the "fight or flight response," but they never tell you about the third reaction in response to fear: freeze. You wanted to scream, or run, or kick, but you couldn't do anything. Your lip began to quiver as you cursed yourself for never listening to your mom's advice. The person behind you grabbed onto your arm so hard you yelped.

"Shut the fuck up!" The voice yelled. It was deep and gravely. "I said, give me your money and I won't have to use this." You heard the sound of his gun cocking and you let out a silent wail.

"I don't have anything," you plea, putting your hands up to show you were literally empty-handed.

"Do you think I'm a fucking idiot? Where is your purse? In the car? Walk." The man shoved you towards your car. Your mind raced with possibilities of how to get out of the situation. You quickly realized that you were either going to have to give him your money or he would shoot you and there was no in-between. For a moment you let yourself hope that someone would save you in a damsel-in-distress moment, but you knew that real life wasn't a fairytale, and knights in shining armor were far and in between in L.A.

The man turned you around and shoved you against your car door causing you to wince. When you saw his face you let out a sob. He was wearing a Spider-Man mask. Your mind went straight to Tom. You and Tom had been friends for years. You knew he was kind and good, but you couldn't help but associate him with the mask and that made this situation so much worse.

"Now, give me your money so I don't have to blow your fucking head off," The man sneered. You gulped as you turned around to open your car door. The man placed a harsh hand on your hip as you bent over to reach for your purse. Your throat closed up again thinking about what he might do after you give him the money. You grabbed both your debit and credit card out of your wallet. In a stroke of dumb luck, you remembered something from a John Mulaney special you had watched with Tom a while back.

"Here. Fetch!" You yelled as you turned around and chucked your cards as far away from yourself and the car as you could. The man shoved you into your car, causing you to hit your head, as he ran towards your cards which were now scattered about 20 yards away. You slammed your door shut and drove away quickly, hoping he wouldn't shoot towards your speeding car. You felt numb. Your body shook as you drove. You wanted to go home and sob, but you knew you had to go to the police station first.

The police station took forever. You sat in a boring room that was too bright and too cold as you listened to a policewoman talk you through the process of filing a report. You weren't fully there and if she had asked you to repeat what she was saying you wouldn't have been able to. After what seemed like forever, the police let you go. You got in your car and stared forward mindlessly. Where were you supposed to go? Home was the obvious answer, but you didn't want to go back to your dark and lonely apartment after what had happened. Every time you blinked you saw Spider-Man holding a gun towards you.

You realized that you wanted to see Tom. Tom always knew how to make you feel better and after being terrorized by someone who looked like Spider-Man, Tom's happy-go-lucky attitude and soft British voice was something you craved. You checked the time to find that it was nearing 11:30. Tom might not even be home, but you didn't care. You considered calling him first, just to see if he was home, or wanted to see you, but you were already outside of his apartment before you could truly comprehend that you were heading to him.

You stood with shaking hands outside of his building. As you pressed the call button for his apartment, you became instantly anxious. What if Tom didn't want to see you? What if he had someone over? What if—

"Hello?" Tom's voice rang from the speaker. You let out a shaky sigh of relief. At least he was home. "Hello?" Tom asked again.

"Oh, uh. Hi, Tom..."

"(Y/N)? What're you doing here?" He didn't sound upset, just confused.

"I, uh... can I come up?"

"Yeah, of course!" The door buzzed and clicked open. You pushed the ornate gold handle and began bounding up the stairs. You should've taken the elevator in your state, but you didn't want to wait. Your heart was pounding as you climbed to the ninth floor. By the time you got to Tom's apartment, you were out of breath. You took a moment to compose yourself before you knocked. Tom opened the door with a sideways smile. Upon seeing his face you immediately crumpled into his arms and started sobbing. You hadn't processed what had happened yet, but seeing Tom all soft and warm in his hoodie and sweats made you feel safe.

Tom grabbed you just before you hit the floor and wrapped you into a tight hug. You knew he was probably scared and confused, but you couldn't stop crying long enough to explain yourself. You were ugly crying. There were snot and tears coming out of and your jagged breaths made you feel as though you could vomit. Tom didn't say anything he just rubbed your back and pulled you onto his couch.

"I'm-- I'm so... so sorry," You choked out.

"Shhh, it's okay," Tom comforted. "It's alright, Darlin'." Even upset that pet name made your heart swell. "What's going on?" Tom asked. You took a few seconds to gain some composure. You sat up and wiped the tears from your face as best you could. After a few seconds of uneven breathing, you began to tell Tom what happened. His brows furrowed and his grip on your thigh tightened as you told him how this stranger attacked you.

"I didn't mean to bother you so late I just... I didn't know where to go," you said as you concluded your story.

“No, it’s okay! I’m glad you can here. You’re always welcome here. You know that.” Tom pulled you in for another tight hug. You breathed in his cologne. The familiar scent sent your brain back to last spring when the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Tom wasn’t just a friend—or he was, but with benefits. Two years ago after a bad break up and a lot of tequila the two of you first hooked up. After that, it became custom for the two of you to get together whenever you were both single and in the same place. It wasn’t constant and both you had been in and out of relationships since you first hooked up, but when it happened it happened—no questions asked. A part of you often longed for something more, but at the end of the day, you were just happy to have someone like Tom in your life.

You looked up at Tom through glassy eyes. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Tom had always been good at reading you even if you swore you had a great poker face. Tom placed two fingers under your chin and tilted your head so that your lips met his. It was a soft kiss, nothing particularly special, but behind it was all the care in the world and it was mutual. You break apart after only a few seconds.

"I hope that makes up for that asshole using my likeness to mug you." You let out a shaky laugh.

"It did. Thank you."

"I cannot believe the wisdom of John Mulaney came to you in your moment of crisis," Tom laughed.

"Actually, I think it was Detective J.J. Bittenbinder's wisdom," you teased. As you moved to sit completely upright you winced.

"You okay?" Tom asked, suddenly worried.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good. That guy just rattled me around a bit. I'll be fine." You were lying. You would be fine, but your hip and back and arm hurt like hell and you didn't want Tom to worry.

"Okay..." Tom said, obviously still unsure. "Do you want to shower? It'll help you relax."

"Yeah, that would be really nice." Tom helped you up from the couch. You followed him to his bathroom with his hand interlaced in yours. You forgot how attractive an attentive/over-protective Tom was.

"You can get in. I'll go grab you a towel," Tom said. You didn't really respond so much as nod, but you knew he knew that you meant, "sure, thank you." You quickly stripped yourself of your clothing and stepped into the steaming water. You winced and cowered away from the water as it hit your forming bruises. You looked down at the marks on your arm and hip which were already red and swollen. The faint outline of fingers traced over your hip. Looking down at the marks, you wanted to cry again, but you knew that there was no point.

You heard the bathroom door open again and could just see Tom's figure from behind the fogged-up glass door. You closed your eyes and let the water pour over your face. When you opened your eyes again Tom's figure was closer to the door, but this time it was devoid of clothing. The door opened and Tom stepped in silently. You turned around to face him.

"Hi," You whispered.

"Hi. This okay?" Tom asked. You nodded, but you suddenly felt the need to cover yourself. You couldn't figure out why you felt so exposed. Tom had seen you naked plenty of times, but this felt different. This was so much more intimate. Normally when you were naked in front of Tom alcohol was involved and during the times it wasn't your exposed body was veiled by the haze of lust and need. Now there was nothing to conceal your skin or your bruises.

Tom's eyes immediately went towards the mark on your arm. He lifted it up to see the bruise better and felt like you could see his heartbreaking as his face crumpled at the sight. "Baby..." he whined, pulling you in for another hug. Your breath caught in your chest at the pet name. Tom never called you 'baby' except for during sex. You (along with most other girls) were always 'love' or 'darling", but this time he called you baby. It felt different.

Your wet body pressed against his. You had never showered with Tom. It was nice. It wasn't sexual like you assumed it would be. In fact, for once, Tom wasn't trying to make an intimate situation sexual at all. Tom pressed a wet kiss to your forehead. "I'm so sorry," he said against your hair.

"It's fine," you mumbled back. Tom turned you around so that your back was now against his chest. You felt his fingertips skim over what you assumed to be various bruises on your back. Without warning, Tom brought his lips down to your shoulders and peppered open kisses across them. He brought his arms around your waist and you bit back a huge grin. Either subconsciously or out of habit leaned your neck to the side to give Tom better access to your neck. Rather than giving you a hickey like you expected him to, he pressed a soft kiss to the exposed skin and turned your head back to meet his lips.

This kiss was different than the kiss you shared on the couch. This kiss was slow and deliberate. Tom slipped in just enough tongue to give you the chills. You could've stayed in that moment forever, but you knew all too well that all good things must come to an end. After what seemed like hours you and Tom stepped out of the shower into the foggy bathroom. Tom wrapped a towel around you, kissing your forehead again in the process. You internally groaned at the thought of putting your jeans back on and going home. Like always, Tom was one step ahead of you.

"Do you want to stay?" Tom asked, but it wasn't like he normally asked you. Something in his voice was different. "I could stay on the couch if you want the bed to yourself, or you could have the couch. I just..." He was nervous.

"You don't need to sleep on the couch," You said, calming Tom's nerves. "You just have to let me borrow a t-shirt."

"Deal." Tom handed you one of his shirts. You slipped your panties back on and let Tom's shirt engulf your figure. It smelled like him. By the time you were finished drying your hair, Tom was already in bed. He was awake, but barely. You slipped into bed next to him and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks, Tommy."

"Of course, (Y/N)." You had ended your nights so many times in the same way in Tom's bed, but when he wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your shoulder, something felt different.

——

A/N: This is loosely based on an experience I had a few months back and while getting gas I got inspired! Lemme know what you think :)

[katsukisbeatingheart]

if you want

· - - - -

he has a bit of a difficult time being patient.

word count: 2143

a03

pt. 2

It was a little untoward but did as good a job as any.

A blush burst like confetti in a rage rash across his cheeks; and if you didn't know any better, you'd think the mighty Katsuki was actually maybe a little embarrassed.

"Well?"

He shifted in his place, trying—and failing—to maintain a façade of a complacent blasé boy just casually asking out a close friend.

"Close" was a bit of a stretch for you. Yes, you found him quite brash and obnoxious and a little insensitive; but you couldn't deny what he meant to you. At least, you thought highly of him, and you were sure you could tell him anything—but you weren't positive that was reciprocated.

Was he one of your best friends? Yes.

Would you even dare to ask him how he felt about you? No.

You! Didn't! Want! To! Ruin! What! You! Had! It had taken what seemed like ages for him to finally warm up to you, without, like, actually exploding—and if you think you'd run the risk of watching that go down in flames? You considered yourself an idiot.

However, unbeknownst to you—Katsuki thought you were the world. If he could put it to words and send them out through that angry trap cursing everything to hell—he'd say you were a force of nature. A worthy rival, a trusted partner, and a kind and wonderful friend.

Except all he's got are angry bees and a tornado in his brain, at all times. As such, anyone he admired, he felt the need to challenge. On all levels physical, he planned to annihilate them. Which wasn't necessarily the case, well, in your case.

Although, there were—a few physical levels— He shook that thought away. That's an idea for a later date. The blush flared. 'Much later.'

But really, he loved provoking you. Only because you're so cute and intelligent and warm and messy—so, so messy—and he got a serious kick out of that. You're complex and human and alive. Despite your faults, you refused to let anything stop you in the end game—you refused to let that keep you from what you wanted. He watched you grow, and evolve and adapt to those weaknesses, and suddenly the line between strengths and not began to blur. He even dared to call you one of his personal heroes.

Thankfully for him, no one in the class noticed for the longest time.

Unsurprisingly, Kirishima was the first.

Bakugo would casually watch you walk into the room, head in his hand, eyes trailing each step you took. A silent Ejirou, sitting beside his best friend minding his own business, would look up startled—at the now fuming boy with a hand to his temple, or rubbing the back of his neck.

"You alright there, man?"

"Stomachache."

The dear boy would stare on in confusion, but keep to himself—a man's business was his business. Puzzled, he witnessed Katsuki all but sprint out the door, noticeably more red than his usual complexion. Then, minutes later, Katsuki would return, smelling notably more of burning sugar, and looking like he'd run maybe half a mile. Kiri wouldn't question it. Until, after that, across the room you'd laugh at something Denki or Ochacko had said, and Bakugo would stand right back up again.

"What's wrong?"

"It's back again." And that'd be the end of that.

It became a reoccurring thing throughout the weeks, when finally—bewilderdly—Kirishima would come to the conclusion Katsuki had been stubbornly avoiding. He popped the question a few weeks later.

"You like someone, don't you."

Class had taken a recess, and his best friend took the liberty to gravitate toward him with a pencil and notebook in hand to work on an upcoming assignment—hopefully without being disturbed, which already wasn't happening.

Bakugo's whole body twitched. "I– you– what– you weirdo what is that supposed to mean?"

Kirishima blinked owlishly at his friend. He wasn't sure what to say next, as he honestly didn't think he'd get this far.

"Well... you've been acting kinda strange lately... around someone in particular..."

Bakugo raised his eyebrows defensively. He hoped that did a good job of masking his expression, because he suddenly had a pretty good idea as to where this was going.

"Well, I mean..." Kirishima dragged a path along with his eyes, coming to a stop at an angle, gazing at you covertly through his lashes. Katsuki rolled his eyes, trying really hard to keep his heart from racing anymore than it already was. He pointedly looked back down at his paper, a tighter grip on his pencil.

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

Eijiro couldn't keep a grin from crawling across his smug face.

"Oh, but I think you do."

After that, the secret couldn't keep to itself and the rest of the class began to trickle into the loop. Much to the surprise of everyone, they weren't all that surprised because they thought you're quite wonderful. But Katsuki? And a crush?

He couldn't help it; the guy seriously respected you.

With all of the determination rivalling theirs to become professional heroes, the class set to work on making this happen. They split up and rearranged classroom chores, made up excuses as to why they couldn't make it to study sessions where you and Bakugo attended, and shut out any outside obstacles—curfews, misplaced lunch seatings, Mineta.

"Oh, no, it's okay! You go ahead, I've got this," you chirped, in a positively upbeat mood. It was so absurdly warm, Kaminari felt guilty about moping the entire day to get out of his after school tasks. He'd managed to convince you he had a sick baby bird at home to tend to, before having to return to the dorms later tonight. Of course, that was a lie.

'It's for a good cause. It's for a good cause. It's for a good cause. It's for a good cause.' Denki knew he was a simpleton; but he'd be damned if he didn't have his moments.

"Are you sure? I'd really hate to trouble you, ya know," he offered, conjuring his best solicitous veneer, silently hoping he wasn't overdoing it now.

"No, yeah! Go on ahead; I heard you mention you had some personal things to take care of—you sounded really stressed about it." Denki had to will himself from openly clutching his chest and bursting into tears.

'Attentive and kind as always! I would expect nothing less of you.'

He opened his mouth to reply with something a little more heartfelt, but the burning gaze of Mina—probably stealthily situated peering through the windows facing the hall—stared holes into the back of his head. Kaminari's mouth snapped shut, and he took that as his cue to bounce. "Great! Awesome. Noice, thank you—" he rambled in an absolutely-not-guilty-at-all lilt. At the door though, he paused, throwing a suggestive smile over his shoulder, "—you kids have fun."

You wrinkled your eyebrows, not yet having received the eight new text messages from your other friends, conveniently busy with their own matters, as well.

After a while, Katsuki came to realize that this dancing around his feelings business was getting to be a little old. He felt pathetic, ordinarily used to tackling things head on. It took some serious convincing, on his part—but he knew what he wanted.

He tried small things, at first—microscopic, all considered, but this was Bakugo. Katsuki began propping doors open for you to pass by if you were walking together, like a real gentleman would.

He dropped snacks by your desk;"You forgot your money again, didn't you, dumbass?"

Always kept an extra water bottle on hand with your name on it; "Don't need you passing out during class, idiot."

He even gave you a little star sticker he had "found" on his way back from an orthodontist appointment; "It was stuck to the bottom of my shoe. I don't want it, you take it." It was in too perfect condition for that to be true.

By then he felt silly, recognizing that this probably wasn't going to be enough to get his point across; even if his friends, at least, noticed the small attempts (trying very hard to keep their mouths shut, all the while).

Katsuki didn't know where the fire was, but eventually he'd had enough of himself. This was going to happen, and it was going to happen today.

After an afternoon of mulling and seriously suppressed grins, Bakugo approached you with an imperceptibly wavering stride. He could launch himself into the heat of a fight no problem, but Katsuki Bakugo was not perfect—no matter how arrogant and prideful he was to admit that.

"Hey. Come practice with me."

You blinked in surprise, running your fingers along the hem of your uniform almost self consciously. It was nearing the evening, and you'd figured he would've joined everyone in studying back at the dorms.

'Although, I suppose sparring is a form of studying,' you reasoned with yourself.

'But... why me?'

He brought you to a secluded clearing, amongst the woodlands surrounding the campus. It wasn't so deep in as to hide evidence, but it was free enough from prying eyes and ears—he made sure of that, with a totally justified menacing promise on his classmates' lives. The overhang of leaves, swooping branches, and glistening waters—complete with lil frogs leaping amongst the moss—made this probably one of the best places he could think of for this exact situation. It was definitely the most fairy tale thing he had ever seen, which said a lot—his mother had dragged him and his father to TDL on many an occasion when he was a child.

Of course, he supposed it was just his stupid, newly developed romantic bastard brain romanticizing everything.

Setting the scene was the trick—because if that had gone wrong, then this would've been glossing near "patronizing", and would probably be much closer to a threat. In a way, you wryly wondered if it really was.

"Hey," he nearly barked. "Anyone home?"

You'd been standing in a silent stupor long enough for Katsuki to grow nervous-impatient. He'd put his hands in his pockets and kicked a little bit at the ground beneath him, trying to maintain some sense of calm. The glower in his eyes gave him away.

Your lips popped open in a fish face motion as you grappled for your words. "I–I– I'm really– I–" Your tongue stumbled over itself. Katsuki gave you an expectant look and you felt your cheeks turn a brand new shade of red.

"I just– I can't– I don't–"

You tried so hard, trying to find the right words. They stubbornly refused to appear, wrestling with each other in the deepest part of your gradually dizzying consciousness. Your hands trembled, waving around aimlessly, making a point you hadn't even begun to form yet.

Bakugo suddenly felt as though he had hit a wall. An invisible one, because this was exactly the thing he was trying to avoid. It grated at his ego and he was slowly getting more and more agitated, his deepest insecurities writhing under his skin. You stuttered and gestured, wringing your slicked palms on your clothes.

After a long, silent moment, his face fell into a stone cold stare you'd never seen directed at you before. It morphed from uncertainty, to a grimace you associated with catching a bad smell, and into an equable scowl. Your heart thumped to the pit of your stomach.

A forcibly steady breath through the nose. "Fine."

He straightened his posture.

"I get it."

The dark look stared down at you, something you were sure was one of his special moves. "It's whatever. It doesn't matter, anyway." Except it did.

Your eyebrows knitted, your pulse quickening. "Katsuki, I– that's not–"

Biting back a sneer, Bakugo seethed through his teeth. "Save it," he hissed. "I don't want to fucking do this if I'm the only one giving my all."

The shock that came to you is what you assumed being struck by lightning felt like. You wanted to laugh, and tell him that was such a Katsuki thing to say in a situation like this; but he was already stomping away, taking strides to double yours.

"Katsuki, wait!" You called out, feeling coming back to your legs, and made to move in after him. "Katsuki!"

His silhouette gradually disappeared into the leaves that had initially felt so welcoming, like they promised something.

You went as quick as you could, mindful of the roots and pockets of earth at your feet.

As Bakugo slid out of reach, his words were a deafening whisper in the hushed world around you.

"Just—leave me alone."

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{a/n: hello!! i have this split up bc i wanted to write a few more scenes under the same premise... plus!! having something extra to do gives me a little more motivation & inspiration to make new things; thanks for reading<3}