#makochi’s scenario

[makochi-furin]

WHEN YOUR SON TELLS YOU TO SHUT UP

A/N: I honestly just piss myself laughing at these TikTok’s, and had to write it, lmao. I’m a sucker for characters I like as parents, so I thought it’d be fun. Also, Toji’s is a little crack-y, but you can’t honestly tell me he wouldn’t have the most feral children in the world

WARNING(s): n/a

NAKAHARA CHUUYA

—Chuuya is a great dad. He's busy often (as his work calls for being away most of the time), so when he's home he prefers to be the easy parent. He doesn't want to spend a lot of time at work, just to come home and have to discipline his kid, who he already doesn't get to see as much as he wished he did

—He is not the kind of dad where, when your kid pisses you off, you say, "I'm calling your daddy." He prefers for everything to be peaceful and for him to not be at odds with his kid

—Your son's name is Keisuke, and he's about ten years old. You both have done a really good job raising him, and he's very respectful and well-mannered. He isn't spoiled, despite having rich parents, and he's a kind boy. He takes mostly after you, but he's Chuuya's spitting image💀 The gall to look just like his dad when it was you who baked the mf for nine months, but oh well

—Since Keisuke had never really been disciplined by Chuuya, he came to you one day with a proposition: a prank on his dad. You weren't really sure at first tbh when he told you about the 'telling mom to shut up in front of dad' thing. Like, sure, Chuuya had never been the strict parent, or anything, but he was BIG on respect. It didn't matter if it was towards himself, you, or even Keisuke. He doesn't let it slide, so you weren't sure how he'd react, because Keisuke was rarely disrespectful, and he especially wasn't when Chuuya was around

—Still, Kei thought it would be funny, and you were curious, yourself, so you agreed

—It was the perfect day for it, because Chuuya had asked for two weeks off (and, of course, got approved). As such, he was home all day with the two of you, and you got more excited for the prank (though you wouldn't admit it).

When the day came, Keisuke had his little phone hidden somewhere up on the bookcase in the living room of y'all's penthouse. He had been giggly and excited all day, which you loved to see, and Chuuya still had no idea.

He was sitting on the couch, elbow propped on the arm and cheek pressed to his fist as he scrolled through his phone. It was a slow day, as no chores really needed to be completed and Kei wasn't at school, so everyone had spent most of the morning chilling and doing their own thing.

Kei walked into the living room, then, and shot you a grin when he met your eyes. His were so pretty, just like his dad's, but they were mischievous now.

You knew what he was trying to signal, and then nodded. At the moment, you were leaning against the island, flipping through a magazine, and he walked over to the loveseat across from the couch and sat down, playing on his phone.

You could barely maintain your little grin as you called, "Hey, Kei-chan, will you come wash these dishes for me, baby? I need to do the laundry."

"Not right now, mom," he said back, not even looking up from his screen.

Chuuya didn't even act like he heard, still focused on his own phone.

"Please, Kei? I could really use some help," you said back, shooting your boy a wink. The way his eyes sparkled was so cute. You made sure your tone sounded serious, though.

"Really, mom, can you just, like, give me a minute?" he replied, annoyance lacing his voice. Just in case Chuuya was looking (he still wasn't), he even rolled his eyes.

"Kei, please, I don't ask you for much—"

"God, mom, would you just shut up?" he said, rolling his eyes again and shaking his head, muttering under his breath about how annoying you were.

Chuuya didn't react for a minute, and then his head shot up, eyes slightly widened like he was in disbelief.

Both you and Kei held your breath.

"Excuse you?" Chuuya said roughly, voice slightly raised. He put his phone down beside him, and then stood up. "What did you just say?"

Kei gulped, and you wondered whether it was time to admit to the prank, but he kept it going. "S-She's being annoying, dad."

Chuuya glared at him like you'd never seen before. In the blink of an eye, he had snatched Kei's phone out of his hand, pulled him up out of his chair, and pushed him towards the kitchen. "You're gonna apologize to your mother, you little asshole, and then you're gonna go do the fucking dishes and the laundry. If you were any older, I'd kick your little disrespectful ass for that!"

Kei was frozen in shock, obviously. His dad had never raised his voice at him, let alone cussed at him. He'd gone pale, and it honestly tugged at your heart to see him like that.

"It was a prank, baby," you said quickly, walking forward and wrapping your arms around Kei's shoulders. "Just a prank." You pointed towards the phone propped up on the bookcase.

Chuuya blinked, all of the anger leaving his body in a second. He didn't even follow your finger to the phone.

Kei started to grin, then, and you couldn't help but giggle a little, too.

Running a hand down his face, Chuuya shook his head. "Both of you are pains in my ass," he muttered.

—You and Kei still rewatch the video sometimes, laughing over how heated he'd gotten. Chuuya is honestly kind of embarrassed about it, but he pretends he isn't. If you ever tease him, he just reminds you that he has to protect your honor, lmao

—You catch red starting to creep up his neck whenever it's brought up, though

GOJO SATORU

—Gojo's little mini-me is fourteen, and he is a PAIN. He's just like his dad. Cocky? Check. Annoying? Check. Playful? Check. He is the most mischievous, little asshole on the planet, and he makes it everyone's problem

—His name is Shinso, and he's the apple of his father's eye. When he was little, Gojo doted on him SO much. Your kid was so spoiled, and even if you tried to stop it, Gojo would just sneak him stuff. It was SO irritating, but Shin eventually grew out of being spoiled, thankfully

—Shinso is an annoying, little prick to most people, but he's the best son. Not even gonna lie. He's very playful with you (yall are real jokesters), but he doesn't confuse you for a bestie: you're his mom, and he respects you endlessly for putting up with both himself and Gojo. Now, since he became a teenager, Gojo really is more like a bestie. They get on so well. And, like Chuuya, Gojo has never been a disciplinarian

—Shinso calls him 'dad' and all that, and trusts him in that way you can only really trust your dad (all my people out there with good dads know what I'm talking about), but he's still more like a bestie. Sometimes, it feels like you're parenting two children. Sorry bout it

—The two play pranks on you a lot, so you were honestly surprised when Shinso came to you with the idea to prank Gojo. You thought it wouldn't really turn out very funny, tbh. You figured maybe Gojo would tell him to stfu if he told you to shut up, but you couldn't imagine your husband (the laid back parent) really getting very angry

—Still, you agreed because Shin seemed excited about it

—You were in the kitchen cooking dinner for all of you, while Satoru and Shin were playing cards at the dinner table. Shin and you had already come up with your plan, so now it was time to put it into action.

Honestly, you rolled your eyes just thinking about it as you stirred up the sauce on the stove. "Hey, Shin, will you go put the laundry in the dryer, please."

"I'm busy, mom," he replied bluntly, lying down his card.

Gojo's eyebrows raised briefly, but he still grinned as he lied down his own card, effectively winning this hand. He cackled as he pulled all of the poker chips towards him. "Better luck next time, Shin-chan."

"Please, Shin? I can't do two things at once," you said, looking over your shoulder curiously at them, seeing how Satoru would react.

"Not right now, mom. God," he muttered, shaking his head and widening his eyes like you were being really annoying. "Just give me a minute."

This time, Gojo's eyebrows stayed raised. He shot Shin a look of warning, but said nothing, continuing to lie down his cards.

You were surprised even at that, to be honest, and were sure his thoughts were something along the lines of 'please, shut up, so I don't have to step in.'

"Shin, please," you said again, this time sighing and making sure to sound exhausted. "It won't take long, and then you can go right back to playing cards."

"Mom, shut up," he groaned, making a show out of how aggravated he was. "Give me a damn minute."

You raised your eyebrows, impressed by how much of a petulant brat he sounded like. He was playing his role well. Now, the two of you stared at Satoru, waiting for his reaction.

He was chuckling softly, cards forgotten as he tilted his head at Shin. "Oh, are you bad now?" he asked, standing from the table. He kept his hands flat on it, tall figure leaning over it and staring down at his son, who watched him, speechless. "No, don't be quiet now. I thought you were bad? Say it again."

You crossed your arms over your chest, a little amused, and maybe even flattered. Shin had never seen his father like this, but you had, and you probably should've just said it was a prank right then and there. You'd forgotten that Shin didn't know his dad as well as he thought he did, though.

"I told her to shut up. She needs to stop being annoying."

Your eyes flew open as Satoru took off his shades and set them down on the table, smiling at Shin as he stared down at him with those bright, bright blue eyes.

"You think you're grown now?" Satoru asked, appearing at Shin's side. He lifted him from the chair by the collar of his shirt, and pushed him towards the front door. "If you're so grown, you can go ahead and find your own place, yeah? If you're adult enough to disrespect your mother, surely you're adult enough to get a job."

You were frozen, in disbelief.

Shin looked just as frozen, staring up at Satoru with impossibly widened eyes. Never before had he experienced this side of his father, and Satoru wasn't being nearly as intimidating as you knew he could be.

"Dad, I—"

"You can either apologize and go help your mother, or you can take your disrespect and your attitude and get out of my house," Satoru interrupted in a pleasant voice that promised trouble if Shin didn't choose option number one.

You could see your son wasn't sure what to do, so you, of course, stepped in. "It was a prank, Satoru. We planned it. He didn't mean it."

—When I say that he went from intimidating and strong to literally falling on his face and blushing all over his body, I mean it. He is SO embarrassed, and you and your boy never let him forget it

—Later, he pranks you both back to get revenge, and makes you return his black card to him for a week (you don't, of course, and he pouts about it). He also tries to take Shin's phone for a week (you just buy him another one with Gojo's black card, and he pouts about it)

—Shin posts the video on TikTok, captioning it "telling your mom to shut up when your dad is the hOnOrEd OnE😤😤"

—It immediately goes viral, and everyone makes fun of Gojo (Inumaki, Yuuta, and Maki make a parody of it, and it also goes viral)

FUSHIGURO TOJI

—When you met Toji years ago, you quickly adapted to being the step-mother of Megumi and Tsumiki, and then later you ended up having a child with him to go along with your bonus babies. The two of you named him Haruo

—Toji is the kind of dad who walks into his kids doing some stupid shit, mutters, "you fucking weirdos," and then immediately walks out. He don't give a fuck as long as no one is hurt, honestly (like, actually hurt. When Haru came to him crying about a splinter, this man literally rolled his eyes and went, "I'm an assassin."). He's such a dick to his kids, but not in a mean way, if that makes sense

—Anyway, all these little mfs are tough, because Fushiguro fucking Toji is their dad, and they had to learn real quick to dish his shit back to him💀 So, honestly, they're all pretty disrespectful to each other

—"Megumi, bring me a beer."

—"Eat shit and die."

—"You're a little, fucking loser, and your only friend is your mother."

—They're just like that. It's their dynamic. They all started cussing by five, and you tried to stop it, but it's just impossible. They're too much like him, so you eventually just taught them that it's okay to be disrespectful to daddy, but not anyone else🫡

—They are NOT disrespectful to you. You don't have that dynamic with them, but you're also able to separate real disrespect when it comes to them, rather than just the smart assing that they're too used to using, but really don't mean anything by

—Haruo is your friendliest kid, honestly. He's friendly to you and to Toji, so he tends to be the one that Toji is genuinely nice to. Like, don't get me wrong, they still have their back and forths, but Haruo doesn't mutter, "What a shame," when Toji gets home like Tsumiki does, so...

—That's why you were so surprised when Haruo came to you one day—he was about fifteen—and suggested to pull a prank on Toji. When he told you what it would entail, you were a little hesitant because they'd never really been disrespectful towards you, and you weren't sure how Toji would react. Haru convinced you, though, and you ended up agreeing

The kids were all sitting on the couch, scrolling through their phones like IPad kids. Haruo was pretending to be really engrossed in the mobile game he was playing, as the two of you had planned for the prank to happen today.

You were folding the laundry at the counter (with three kids and Toji, there was a lot of it), while Toji had just gotten back from his 'job,' and was sitting on a barstool opposite you. He was drinking coffee, a neutral expression on his face as he watched you go about your chore.

"Hey, Haru-chan, will you go grab my phone for me? It's in my room," you said, folding one of Toji's shirts. You were having trouble not cracking a grin already.

Haruo didn't reply, so Megumi flicked the back of his head. "Hey, mom's talking to you."

"Huh? What do you want?" he asked, annoyed, without taking his eyes from his game.

Tsumiki's eyes slid up from her phone screen to look at him, eyebrow raised.

"I asked if you'd go get my phone for me," you replied, eyeing Toji, who was staring at the wall.

"Make dad do it," Haru muttered.

Toji rolled his eyes at the words.

"He just got back from work, honey. Please, just go get it."

"Mom, I'm busy." Haru huffed, like you were asking him to move a mountain.

At this point, even the kids were watching Haru through narrowed eyes, slightly confused. He never acted like this—none of them did towards you.

It looked like Tsumiki was gearing up to say something, so you quickly said, "Fushiguro Haruo, go grab my phone. Please."

"God, mom, will you shut up for one damn second?" He snapped, looking up from his phone to shoot you a glare.

Toji did a double take, blinking. Then, he calmly stood up and started walking over to Haru, all the while Megumi and Tsumiki watched with wide eyes, sharing glances.

You watched carefully, too.

Toji grabbed a pillow off the couch, not saying a word, and then threw it right at Haru's head at a brutal pace.

"Toji—!" you started, but he was already wound up.

Haru yelped as the pillow hit him hard, and then stared up at his father with wide eyes.

Tsumiki had taken off her sandal and chucked it at Haru's head, meanwhile Megumi had stood up, too.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, you little shit?" Toji asked, glaring down at him. "You think you can talk that way to your fucking mom? I'll kick you out of this goddamn house." He smacked Haru on the head, which had Haru raising his arms up. "Don't you ever say that shit to her again!"

"It's a prank! It's a prank, baby," you yelled, running over to protect your kid from your psycho family. "He didn't mean it!"

Haru was looking at Toji and his siblings with wide eyes, as everyone froze where they were. Then, a grin crept onto his lips, because he was a little psycho, too. "Got you, dad."

Toji smacked him upside the head, which had Haru howling with laughter. "I swear to god, I hate every one of you crotch-goblin motherfuckers. All of you were mistakes."

"Fuck you, too, dad," Tsumiki said quickly.

"Go kill yourself, asshole," Megumi added.

"Love you, too, dad," Haru said with a grin, trying and failing to hold back laughter.

Meanwhile, you ran a hand down your face, tired of your weird ass kids and their weird ass dad.

[eevees-hobbies]

My Boyfriend Works at a Butler Cafe - NSFW

Author’s Note: This is in response to the maid cafe requests I’ve gotten. While I don’t think I can add to the body of work that other content creators have already contributed to the fandom, I am dropping this at your feet. It may or may not be inspired by my trip to the Butler Cafe at Anime Expo, hehe.

Content Warning: Fem!Reader x Multiple Characters (Mostly separate). Contains Fluff and Smut (Smut indicated by “after hours” text). P in V. Use of pet names like pretty girl, Daddy, possessiveness in Sakura’s, sex in public, cunnilingus, sharing, mention of a handjob, reserve cowgirl. Tis smut!

Synopsis: Picture a scenario in which Umemiya is concerned about the welfare and sustainability of some of the shops in Makochi, primarily because many of the shops are owned and kept up by some of the more elderly inhabitants. Some stores are dilapidated and at risk of shuttering their doors, which Umemiya sees as a significant loss to the community. After brainstorming potential ways to earn some donations, he has a brilliant idea! It’s a concept that has almost every Bofurin alumni grinding their teeth and shaking their heads in protest. Welcome to the Butler Cafe!

Word Count: 3.2K

Cottage dividers by Saradika. Story and character banners by me.

“I’m so happy to see you, baby!”

If he weren’t volunteering his time to work in the cafe, he would be terminated immediately. As soon as he sees you walk through the door, he shouts your name from across the dining room and beelines straight to you, arms open and with a broad smile on his face. 

The customers he was just serving? Ignored.

He’ll make sure to sit you in his section and pull up a chair to chat with you, which is a significant annoyance to management as Umemiya is a big draw to the cafe. His admirers line up at least an hour before the restaurant opens to see the cutie with the toned biceps serving them strawberry crepes.

Regardless, I hope you’re comfortable with your lover staring into the depths of your eyes—and soul—as you recount your day. 

He’s so incomprehensibly smitten with you that the only thing that he’ll allow to interrupt your verbal reverie is him spoon-feeding you a piece of cake. 

“I’m so glad you came to visit me today! Wait, what do you mean you’re genuinely here to eat lunch?”

Grade: C+

After Hours

“Let me have some of you before my shift, sweetheart. I need you.”

“D-don’t worry about those…let them fall.” Paperwork, pens, and even a stapler aren’t safe from the laws of gravity as Umemiya picks you up and pushes you onto the desk in the back office. He only has so much time before opening the Butler Cafe doors, and he needs to fill your womb to ensure himself a good shift.

Could you imagine a sex-famished Umemiya? It’s a terrifying thought!

You kiss each other hungrily, tongues meeting outside your mouths before you can press your lips together. Your hands are already fussing with his uniform, particularly where his toned chest strains the buttons of his ironed coat.

“If I’m not inside you right now, baby girl-” His sentence is cut off as his mouth latches to the sensitive skin on your throat, suckling and nipping until the spot begins to sting. But if it hurts, you aren’t showing it as your eyes roll back into your skull. 

He’s pressing his body into yours as though he’s attempting to collapse into you. His hands desperately tug at the fabric that covers up his favorite parts of you–your breasts, your stomach, and most importantly, the sweet treat you have between slick-stained thighs.

“Ume, this has to be a quickie!” 

You can feel him grumble against your skin, lips trained into a pout as he grapples with your words, but he knows you’re right. He shifts the seat of your panties to the side and sinks into you, inch by agonizing thick inch. 

And you thought you were ready. You thought the way your cunt was drooling for him just by seeing him in his uniform would mean you were fully prepared to take his girth, but the sheer thickness still has you gasping and gripping his shoulders.

“Shhh, you can take it, pretty girl. You always take me so well. I got ya’”

As he’s pushing into you, his words slur, drunk off your pussy, head swimming with love, lust, and adoration for his sweet girl. There’s no time for preparation; his shift starts soon, and weren’t you just rushing him, anyway?

But for all the stretching you must endure from taking him, Umemiya is still nothing but gentle.

“God, you’re perfect.” His fingers stroke your cheek, and you melt into the familiarity of his soothing touch. “Keep your eyes open for me ok, love? You close them, and we start over.”

Once you collect yourself, walls finally fitting snugly around him like a glove, you bat your eyelashes innocently, brushing your lips against his thumb before sliding it into your mouth. You don’t break eye contact with him as you flirt your tongue against the underside of his thumb, pretending as though you’re sucking on something much bigger and thicker—that of which is already inside of you.

For a brief instant, you see something flash in Umemiya’s eyes, something that you feel sink into your spine and crawl its way up each individual vertebrae with sharpened claws, something that would threaten your health and ability to walk if you were home instead of at the butler cafe. But he begrudgingly sets his desire to defile you to the side and removes his thumb from your mouth, hand moving down and using that same digit to rub at your clit.

“I love it when you help Daddy out like this. Suuuuuuch a good girl.”

The way the desk bangs against the wall and drags across the linoleum floor as he drives his thick cock into your sopping-wet mess makes you consider that you two might be found out before your quickie can conclude. 

Grade: A+

“Stop staring at me like that, and hurry up and order!”

“Ugh!”

Death has never been more welcome as soon as Sakura dons the butler uniform. Even worse is when he peers into the dining room and sees you. 

Why would you do this to him? Why would you show up here? Don’t you have any pity for him, or is this all some sick, twisted fantasy for you? 

He’s spiraling!

Staff must physically grab him and force him onto the cafe floor. 

He’ll approach you, grumbling, and every bit of him the reddest he’s ever been—and is that steam pouring from his ears?

As he mumbles out the delicacy of the day, you have to lean in just to hear what he’s saying.

“S-stop pretending you can’t hear me!”

But best believe that when he sees another butler giving you too much attention for his liking, he’s stepping in and taking care of all his girl's orders.

“Hey, she’s mine.”

“Y-you mean the table, right?”

“She’s mine.”

Oof, he said what he said!

And if Umemiya is popular with the younger crowd, Sakura, to his disdain, is popular with the older ladies. They don’t think he’s particularly cute or lovely to look at; they just enjoy a visit from this loud-mouthed kid telling them to hurry up and order.

They think he’s a hoot and taking method-acting to the extreme.

Aren’t the tsundere types so cute? 

He’s honestly a really bad butler. His inability to be friendly to the customers—except you—and attempts to always switch his shift with someone else does not go unnoticed by management.

Grade: F -

After Hours 

“I kinda like fucking you at work.”

As you gazed down at your plate, an unfinished parfait staring back at you, a simple sentence was all you needed to gulp the rest of the dessert down and follow your butler outside.

“Gonna be good for me and finish that so I can finish you, yeah?”

Um, fuck yeah!

“S-sakura, don’t you have to clock back in?” You mumble into his ear; you know you sound like an absolute mess, your breathing rapid and uneven, with small moans erupting from your throat.

“Fuck this job.” He has your hands pinned above your head; your legs are wrapped around his waist as he fucks you against the alley wall behind the cafe. “I’m exactly where I should be.”

His thrusts forward are hard and urgent, but the retraction of his dick is slow, drawing out the feeling of your satin walls grazing every inch of him. Your slick is staining his bicolored pubic hair as he grinds into you. His fingers dig into your wrists, seemingly in rhythm with each snap of his hips. 

“G-god, Sakura! Maybe I should make you dress up like a butler more often?” 

“P-pervert, you’d like that, huh? You want me to dress up as your fantasy and fuck you in costume?”

He nestles his face into your neck. You sound so good for him, and how could he resist the urge to take you outside and fuck you right here and now with how pretty you look?

You’re intoxicating, you’re perfect, you’re about to make him fucking cum, fuck! He considers pulling out, letting you finish him off with your hand or that cute mouth of yours, but you grip your legs around him in a vice grip.

“H-haru, stay inside, please?”

Oh, god, how could he say no to that? To you? He smashes his lips against yours, moaning loudly in your mouth as his cock twitches, spurts then fountains of his love and devotion for you filling you up to the brim.

His shift at the butler cafe is the last thing on his mind as he wraps his arms around your waist, peppering kisses against your lips and cheeks.

Grade: A+++++++++++++++++++++++

“Hey, you came just to see me, sweet girl? Aw, I’m so lucky.”

Although he technically didn’t have to attend this fundraiser, given his relationship with Bofurin and Makochi, he thought it was a good idea to show up ready to work.

Togame quickly becomes a shift manager. He’s reliable, a natural leader, and every client likes talking to him and even though he doesn’t walk with a sense of urgency, they don’t mind!

When Togame sees you enter the cafe, he’ll shoot you a lazy grin—the kind that makes your heart skip a beat and forces you to long for him even when he’s right there in front of you.

During his lunch breaks, he’ll take you out on the private patio he reserved just for you two and have the butler on duty bring out all the cafe items he knows you’ll like. 

As you speak and enjoy your time together, he’ll grab your hand in his, rough fingers drawing smooth circles around your knuckles, deep-green eyes trained on yours, and occasionally flickering down to look at your lips.

Of course, you want to kiss him, but he’s at work!

Knowing precisely how you are, Togame makes the first move, leaning over and capturing your lips in a kiss that is soft, unabashedly intimate, and that of which touches the furthest and most difficult-to-reach edges of your very soul. He’s breathing life into you, and before you know it, he’s pulling away, smirking, daring you to be the aggressor, and daring you to follow him. And you are, and you do.

Grade: A

After Hours 

“Gonna make you cum before my shift, beautiful. How does that sound? Look at me when I ask you a question.”

Your trembling hand shoots out to grasp the ledge of a nearby shelf in the cafe’s backroom. Togame has your legs draped over his muscular and broad shoulders with your back against the wall in the back office.

Togame loves using your thighs as earmuffs. The harder you squeeze, the more he can tell how good of a job he’s doing. When you squeeze and tremble because he’s sucking on your labia, taking each one into his mouth, sucking, biting, he knows that he’s doing exactly what he needs to get you to absolute euphoria.

“Jo,” you hiss through parted, glossed lips, “They’ll be able to hear us!”

“No, they’ll be able to hear you.”

And he’s right. He snuck you into the back prior to his shift so that he could devour you as though you didn’t pack him a bento box. 

But he’s doing such a good job, licking at your clit until you feel a dull throbbing sensation, making out with your pretty pussy until thick cream coats his lips, and leaving a reflective sheen on his cheeks. 

Unfortunately, the diners aren’t too far away, and you don’t want them to hear every sound Togame is pulling out of you.

And as though he’s intentionally trying to make you louder, he flicks your clit with the tip of his tongue, no longer teasing the nub but making deliberate infinity shapes that make her twitch.

“I’ll stop when you cum in my mouth, baby.”

He wants you to cum? Might as well take him up on the offer. 

You grab loose fistfuls of his hair and start grinding on his face, allowing his nose to rub against your clit as he offers your pretty hole free use of his tongue.

“That’s my girl. You’re such a good listener.”

“Jo, don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Grade: A+

“I’m at your beck and call. Whatever you need is yours.”

To no surprise to anyone, Suo is poised and proper enough to make the butler gig look easy. He knows how to carry the trays without spilling a single crumb of food, he knows where to put the silverware when placing them on the table, and he’s certainly never stressed out during a midday rush.

However, his faults lie with you.

When Suo sees you enter the cafe, he becomes apathetic to the other patrons. He still serves them, yes, but his thoughts are obviously elsewhere. His eyes hardly leave you, watching as you bring a fork up to your mouth and it pushes past your plump lips. 

Your tongue darting out to lick the whipped cream from the corner of your mouth has his eyes widening ever so slightly, and the tea kettle he’s pouring tea from shaking just a bit. 

And when he’s able to serve you? He’s never been happier. Sure, you may not have asked for that extra piece of pie, but you’re absolutely going to get it. Can’t possibly drink any more tea? Nonsense. He’s topping you off again.

Anything for you.

Always.

And forever.

Grade: B

After Hours

"Pretty girl needs to cum at least one more time for us. I need you to cum in my friend's mouth before I touch you."

Your pleasure is Suo’s pleasure, so be a good girl and spread your legs for his friends, mkay? Suo’s tongue slides into your mouth as his fingers brush against the strands of your hair that have managed to fall into your face. 

He can’t help but admire you, your beauty, and your fucked out expression as your mouth opens and closes, waves and waves of pleasure rocking you to your core. 

His beautiful girl.

The cafe's shades are drawn closed, and the interior of the restaurant is only illuminated by dim amber lamp lights placed sporadically throughout the medium-sized room. 

Suo cups your chin, his mouth only leaving yours as he tilts your face forward, “Tell Sakura how much you like when he sucks on your clit.”

Sakura grunts from between your thighs. He’s on all fours, face so flush against your cunt that there’s surely no room for him to breathe. But if that’s the case, he isn’t indicating that oxygen is a necessity as he’s dragging his tongue, flattened and broad, against your swollen clit in long licks. 

“That feels really good, Sakura. You’re doing such a great job.” You pause, but Suo’s quick, heated glance in your direction wills you to continue. “You’re doing a great job, and I like when you suck on my clit”

“Good girl. It’s important to thank your butlers. Now be sure to thank Umemiya, too.”

You turn your head to the side, gazing up at Umemiya, who is pulling up his undershirt in clenched fists, exposing his toned stomach and chest, and his pants hanging loosely around his thighs. His pectorals have been a rosy pink all night, the persistent blush only spreading as he lays witness to you and what you’re capable of.

Your hand is wrapped around his cock, fingertips unable to touch each other from the sheer circumference of him, but dammit you’re trying. “Thank you, Umemiya, for letting me jerk you off.”

Suo lets out a quiet hiss, pleased with your obedience. He grips you by the cheeks and leans down, his lips so close to yours, his eye peering into your soul.

“Who do you think should go first? Which butler would you like to request, love?”

You’d smirk if his hand wasn’t forcing your lips into a pout, but your eyebrow twitches, and you get that familiar glint in your eye that Suo loves so much.

“I don’t think anyone has to take turns. Everyone pick a hole.” 

Grade: A+

“P-please tell me how I can help you?”

When you see Nirei in his butler outfit, you swoon. How could someone so innocent and cute look like that? And while he blushes and stutters when taking your order, he’s probably the most impressive butler in the cafe.

He knows the menu like the back of his hand, is always on time, and is willing to stay late if need be.

Unlike the other participants on this list, your presence isn’t enough to shake Nirei, and admittedly, that might hurt a bit, right? In actuality, Nirei does so well because of you.

He knows you’re watching, so he’s careful with every movement and every word he says. He so desperately wants to impress you. So you might not always see it, but he’s watching you out of the corner of his eye, hoping you saw him interact with a client with perfect protocol. 

As you have lunch with your friends and your eyes meet, he’ll shoot you a little wave as he turns his attention back to a customer. Your friends will giggle because how did YOU trap someone so cute, sweet, and innocent?

And you’ll take offense to that because 1) you aren’t a predator who hunts cute little animals–-Bambi is most certainly safe when you’re around and 2) Nirei is anything but innocent.  

Grade: A+

After Hours:

"O-oh god! You’re amazing, so beautiful, please don’t stop! I-I’m gonna..!"

With shaky hands, Nirei hangs onto the plush of your ass–and on for dear life–as you ride him in reverse cowgirl position on the floor of the Butler Cafe. 

“O-oh, my god…” He musters the strength to bring his head up to look at you expertly bouncing on his dick, swallowing him whole like you were made for this.

He doesn’t think he’s going to make it.

“Y/N! P-please slow down!”

You let out a breathless giggle, your nails digging into his thighs for leverage as you sit up straight and roll your hips. “You did so well serving me today, Nirei! I’m just rewarding my butler.”

God and he’d serve you for a lifetime if it meant experiencing this.

“D-do you know what I’m doing right now, baby?”

He lets out a grunt, the only sound he can manage, as the muscles in his calves tighten to the point of almost cramping.

Fuck, why are you so good at this?

You swivel your hips to the left, right, up and down, dragging the head of his cock against your g-spot. “I’m spelling your name.”

S-spelling his-

Oh, fuck.

Nirei bites his lip, eyes rolling into the back of his head as something so inevitable, so ridiculously powerful, hits him like a freight train. A cross between a whimper-whine escapes from parted lips, and it catches you off guard because, if anything, his moan is a clear indication of how much he desires you and how much he’s always wanted you. 

You consider stopping, the rolling of your hips slowing, but the feeling of immense pressure makes you moan. The licking of your lips replaces the cocky grin on your face as you throw your head back.

Because, god, there’s just so much of it! 

You look between your legs as his cum drips from your cunt and onto the cafe floor. His balls still clenching and unclenching as he continues to pour into you. 

“Nirei, there’s so much!”

“Mmmm, h-happy to give you some more?”

Grade: A+

Special thanks to @suosgirl and @hayatoseyepatch for your ideas/contributions. 

[psychicwavementality]

re: endosaku fic prompts... what do you think about a takiishi-sakura age swap? endo doesn't meet takiishi when he does in canon, because takiishi is doing whatever he was doing when he was 3 years younger instead of what put him in endo's path, and sakura's not in town yet so endo just stays in his dull life without getting obsessed with anyone. until sakura shows up at furin aiming for the top of the school at the same time as endo starts his first year. furin's not unified yet, so sakura doesn't get immediately accepted and softened up by everyone he meets, and endo is wide open to fall in love at first sight with a pre-friends, "i fight to validate my existence" sakura. and with endo's "i just want my beloved to be happy" vibe, of course he'd help sakura fight his way to the top... would this be a worst case scenario for umemiya, since noroshi wouldn't just voluntarily leave, but actively try to overthrow him? or would it be better than canon for everyone, with sakura getting converted to umemiya's side, noroshi becoming part of bofurin, takiishi arriving at furin and immediately being swept up into the shonen vibes like canon!sakura, and endo following sakura into a more positive relationship and environment than he had with takiishi?

So i've been thinking about this for a solid while now and I probably won't write a fic for it due to not knowing how to fully structure and end it- but boy is this AU fun

Endo's going to trip heads over heels even harder for Sakua—considering he's never started worshipping Takiishi, this means he'll continue with his people-pleasing/masking tendencies.

I'd say he got into the thrill of fighting to chase adrenaline, hence why he's going to Furin.

Endo first meets Sakura inside Cafe Pothos by chance—instead of getting punched, Endo strikes up a conversation with Sakura with his face full of smiles, not knowing the trajectory of his life is about to change.

After some prodding from Endo, Sakura announces why he's coming to Furin, and [cue the EndoShock.png + cherry blossoms + romantic music + wedding bells + random gust of wind]

Sakura is initially extremely confused and flustered at Endo tailing after him like a lost but devoted puppy. Endo drags Sakura around Makochi and basically does what Nirei would've in the normal timeline. Eventually, Endo basically cuddling up and sticking to Sakura to get him to become the top fighter at Furin leads him to witness Sakura's fighting early-on firsthand—either versus a band of ruffians or a few Furin students thinking they're easy pickings on the first day.

It's then Endo has his revelation, that he won't follow anyone or accept anyone else but Sakura as his 'god'.

So! Since Endo has sunk into the pit of infatuation, Sakura starts internally panicking at all the attention Endo is giving him. He's always been hated and scorned, so why is this random man who heard about him aiming to fight to the top so obsessed with him??? Sakura slowly opens his heart fragment by fragment as Endo professes again and again that no, he will never leave Sakura and that they were 'fated to meet'. (Where is Takiishi? We don't know lol he's just Vibing)

Regarding Noroshi: since Sakura pays attention and treats Endo as his closest friend in Furin, Endo doesn't need to look for Takiishi in other people to sate his repressed desire to be noticed by his original 'god'. So TBH Noroshi existing wouldn't be needed. I still think it would be cute for them to be friends despite the circumstances! They gather around Endo and Sakura for both being so strong and together, they act as Sakura's new friends to propel him to the top of Furin.

I still think that despite it all, Sakura will find a weird sense of comfort and (mildly?) displaced belonging with Endo and Noroshi as they claw to the top. I think Ume will still be the one to unify Furin, though—during their final stand-off, Noroshi goes against Ume's group, and Ume challenges Sakura with the statement: "And what will you do once you've reached the summit?"

Sakura has never considered about what comes after achieving the highest status in Furin. This factor makes him withdraw the fight but not Furin entirely—I don't think Sakura and Ume would ever feud, they're both kind souls who had seen the worst in their world and needed a second chance/created a second chance to shine. So, Ume tells Sakura his vision of the future, and Sakura realizes he doesn't know what he wants to do in Furin, deep down.

Endo sees Sakura's internal struggle and also wonders about his own role—once Sakura achieved his dream, would he still be needed? Would Sakura still want him around? Their relationship is was forged on the basis of aiming to get Sakura to the top, after all.

Ultimately, Sakura throws in the towel and admits his defeat. But Ume tells him and Endo that once the two of them figure out the true meaning of "fighting to the top" and what they want to do when they've reached it, they're free to challenge him again.

Regarding Class 1-1: I'm unsure if they should be swapped along with Sakura, or if Sakura should meet them when he's a third year and they're newbies. With the former, Noroshi and Sakura's original friend group are most likely to grow close at the same time, but the timeline might be weird because people like Nirei and Anzai only chose to join Furin after being saved post-reform. Ofc their reasons for joining could be tweaked a little, where Nirei was saved by a passing Furin member and he tells Nirei, "You should learn how to fight to defend yourself."

Whereas if we go with the 3rd Year EndoSakus route, I'd imagine Sakura would be further softened up by his OG friend group (he'd probably be the one to monitor their class). Endo can have his own little character arc moment where he doubts if Sakura wants him around anymore. His relationship is different with Sakura, because Takiishi in the OG has never expressed wanting to remove or keep Endo, leading him to tag along no matter what; meanwhile Sakura acknowledges Endo and isn't purposely ignoring him. This means that the thought of Sakura abandoning him is something Endo desperately doesn't want because he still wants to see Sakura shine in every way possible.

3rd Year Sakura also means that Takiishi will be added into the OG friend group!!! POOR BOY HE'S GONNA GET TEASED BY SUO SO HARD... Imagine Tsuge going "WHAT'S YOUR VIRTUE?!!!" to 15/16 year old Takiishi helpfjsjjddj

I think that 3rd Year Sakura wouldn't be "top" of the school like Ume, but he's also a top dog in the school and leads his own little dispatch group with Endo and Noroshi. People with incredible fighting potential and/or people who need to learn better fighting and/or problem children probably get directed to their unit for supervision.

Sakura def mellows out by the 3rd Year compared to his 1st, but he is still very keen on becoming the top of the school in his own definition. He's still thinking about what he'd do, but he's getting closer and closer to the answer when his OG friend group's year joins him as his disciples/juniors/friends.

If we go the "Bad AU" route, Sakura would probably turn out a bit like Beta Sakura's design. Bad AU!Endo would end up unconsciously distancing Sakura from other Furin students to ensure he'll be able to stay by his side forever. He might convince Sakura on accident to leave Furin and seek a higher position elsewhere. Who knows... I feel bad thinking about this route!!!

I might add more to this little idea pile about Shishitoren and Co. later once I decide wtf I do with Takiishi 🤣 I need to give him more personality... The moment he steps foot into Furin and meets Sakura's OG group + is roped into their mess = Takiishi explodes from too much social lololol

[pikachibz]

i need to yap this out bc its actually overtaken my brain so yesterday, i thought of a wind breaker pokemon au more specifically, what pokemon they would have and/or how they would meet them bc this is very important to me before i make the au real if i dont got anything for that, then ill just explain the reason why i chose it to be on sakuras team STARTING WITH SAKURA!! truth be told some of the pokemon MIGHT be changed as I continue to think but this is what ive got for now

ABSOL - Sakura's partner pokemon. So, first things first, its Pokedex entry is perfect for Sakura. It met Sakura as a child, saving him from something (maybe a disaster, maybe from other kids bullying him). However, this only fueled bad rumors causing the old townspeople to stay away from them. Acts a lot like Sakura's protector, despite him saying he doesn't need protection. TOGETIC - A couple days or a week before Sakura leaves for Makochi, it bumped into him, injured and scared. He beat up the bastards chasing it and Togetic was grateful. Sensing Sakura's pure heart (again, Pokedex entry is perfection), it softly bonked its head onto one of Sakura's stray pokeballs to be caught, shocking the other. It doesn't appear until the start of episode 3, after Sakura and Sugishita shake hands. The class gets surprised when it appears, happily chirping at its trainer, and it's Suo who points out that it's a shiny Togetic. Which shocks everyone, Sakura included because he didn't know it was a shiny. Because of that, Sakura's mean and aloof image is thrown out the window LMAO RIOLU - An episode four catch, right before they leave to fight Shishitoren. It saw Sakura fight in ep 1 and was mesmerized, following the other all the time. This makes Nirei mistake it as Sakura's pokemon when he meets the other, who was very much confused then surprised when he sees the pokemon. It's a very cheerful and easily excitable pokemon in contrast to its trainer, admires Umemiya's Lucario A LOT. If you've seen Pokemon Horizons, it's basically Fuecoco and Charizard. MIMIKYU - ok we're now starting on the ones i dont have exact lore for. I chose this because, pokedex entry. I think Sakura would meet it bc of his haunted ass apartment, its there all alone and he doesn't bother it and it doesn't bother him during those first few days, the silence of company calms them. One day, it asks Sakura to catch it or it follows him outside to school. LITTEN - I feel like how it meets Sakura will be like the SM anime, or maybe Umemiya finds it on the rooftop about to eat one of his crops and introduces it to the gang like 'Do any of you want to take care of this adorable Litten? It doesn't like me unfortunately'. It warms up to Sakura VERY QUICKLY (it senses kin), so that's the end of that discussion. Also because I needed a cat to be in Sakura's team. UMBREON - This one is a much, MUCH more later catch. I don't know how much later but definitely past where the manga is currently at right now because I do not think Sakura will have a full team where we're at rn. Caught as an Eevee, its a very calm pokemon that loves being a little shit to Absol. And that's what I've got for now! the ones most subject to change are the latter half of the team, but the first three are there to stay An honorable mention to this team is Victini, because V is for victory! but I feel like I can make a scenario that fits for victini and sakura to meet and not have victini captured bc its a mythical WAHAHAHA i will definitely make this au into a fanfic after the uhhh 5-7 fic ideas that i need to finish first

[makochi-furin]

KAJI REN AND DAZAI OSAMU WITH S/O WHO WAS PREVIOUSLY IN A PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

A/N: these are what my scenarios look like :)

WARNING(s): reader used to be in an abusive relationship, mentions of PTSD

KAJI REN

Your boyfriend, Ren, had texted you earlier today that his mom was out, and that if you wanted to you could come over, or you two could go out to town to do something, since he didn't have rounds today.

You jumped on the chance, obviously, quickly getting dressed and practically running to his house. It wasn't often that you two got to spend time together, even on weekends, because Bofurin took up so much of his time. You were so proud of him, of course, for being in Bofurin, but you also missed him a lot.

That's how you found yourself in his room. After about two hours of catching up and joking around, he asked you if you'd mind him playing on his PlayStation. Apparently, one of his friends had asked him to join.

You said it was okay out of habit, because before, with your ex, if you'd have said anything else... Let's just say you'd end up feeling it. Plus, Ren told you it'd only be about thirty minutes, and then he'd take you to go get food.

He didn't have any sort of headset on, though, so you pretty much sat on his bed and watched him, talking all throughout about any random thing that popped into your head.

Although he didn't reply much, you knew he was listening. His headphones were around his neck, after all, and sometimes you'd catch him smiling about something you said.

He was quiet, and it was nice to be able to talk about yourself for a change. Though, with Ren, it seemed like you were always talking about yourself. You just hadn't gotten to in so long. Talking about yourself before Ren was usually met with ridicule.

Eventually, you two settled into a comfortable silence. You leaned back on the headboard, phone in your hand as you scrolled through social media.

You got a pop up that your phone was about to die, which had you pouting at the screen. Looking around, you saw a phone charger on his nightstand, but it wasn't plugged in. You couldn't see an outlet anywhere nearby.

"Hey, Ren?" you started hesitantly.

He hummed.

"Can I use your phone?"

Ren nodded, quickly grabbing it from his pocket and tossing it onto the foot of the bed. "Why?"

You were shocked. Astonished, even. Carefully, you took his phone, opened it, and were even more shocked when you realized there wasn't a password. Shaking your head, his question finally caught up to you. "Oh, mine's almost dead."

He nodded towards the outlet beside his desk. "You can charge it there, if you want."

You smiled, grabbing your phone and his charger. As you made your way past him, you couldn't help but ruffle his hair playfully.

He rolled his eyes at you, but gave a little smile.

Crouching down beside the outlet, you realized it was already full. You were pretty sure the grey cord was the one that was connected to his PlayStation, so you instinctually unplugged the black one without even thinking about it.

When the quiet sound effects from his game immediately stopped, you felt your heart drop. Genuinely, it was like a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped on your head, and now your every muscle was tense.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Your ex always scolded you for never being able to do anything right. Being with Ren, you had begun to move past that. Now, though, you were agreeing with him.

Ren watched the screen go black, blinking with the controller still in his hands. After a few seconds, his jaw locked and he lied his head back on his chair.

You didn't even say anything, too scared to. All you could do was stay crouched there like an idiot, the cord still in your trembling hands, watching his reaction like a hawk.

He didn't seem happy.

He sighed, ran a hand down his face, and then stood up and began walking over to you.

You popped up into a standing position, pulled taut like a rubber band about to snap. The offending cord was still in your stupid hands.

You wished Ren was more easily readable, because he had the same stoic expression he always did. Only, when you caught sight of the annoyance in his blue eyes, you changed your mind. You wished he had stayed unreadable.

"R-Ren, I'm so sorry," you breathed, feet glued to the ground. You felt completely unable to move.

"Yeah... It's fine," he muttered, reaching out for you.

Instinctually, you turned your face away and raised your hands to block the hit. It was a motion you'd ton plenty of times before. In fact, it was so ingrained in you that you didn't even realize you were moving, didn't realize you were holding your breath, until the strike never landed.

Slowly, you peaked open an eye to look at him.

Ren was staring at you oddly, his hand held out palm upwards. He was frozen, too, and you could see the cogs turning behind his eyes. For a moment, it looked like he was short circuiting.

"I... I was just gonna plug it back in," he explained awkwardly, eyes moving from the cord in your hand to the outlet on the wall.

You flushed red immediately, beating yourself up over how stupid you'd made yourself look. "Right... Right, I'm sorry." You practically shoved the cord into his chest, still shaking and unable to move your body how you wanted to.

Ren nodded, examining you with his eyes. Then, he let the cord fall to the ground. Slowly, as if scared of frightening you, he sat down on the edge of his bed. He grabbed your shirt, gently pulling you between his legs, looking up at you.

You didn't want to meet his eyes, hoping he'd just forget it ever happened and move on. You felt stupid enough without him adding onto it.

"What was that about?" he asked quietly, hands resting on your hips. "Did you think I was gonna hit you?"

Too ashamed to answer, all you could do was shrug. You were sure you were a pitiful sight, still trembling like a chihuahua.

To your immense relief, he didn't look offended. Rather, he looked worried. There was a storm gathering in his dark blue eyes, but his voice had never been gentler as he asked, "Why?"

You knew what he was saying. He'd never hit you before, or even come close. Ren hadn't even ever yelled at you. Sure, maybe the two of you hadn't been together for long, but you'd done plenty of things at this point that your ex would've freaked out about. Ren would only assure you that it was fine, that there was no need to apologize for every little thing.

You couldn't speak for a few minutes, terrified to tell him the truth, but also wanting to. For some reason, you wanted him to know, even though you also didn't. You didn't want him to look at you differently, but now that he was asking outright, you really didn't want to lie, either.

Finally, after several minutes of gathering up enough courage, you told him. Maybe not everything, but enough.

"You know... my ex?"

Ren nodded, already knowing where this was going. He didn't know the guy personally, but he'd heard stories. It was a small town.

"When he was mad, he hit me," you said simply, trying to shrug like it was no big deal, but Ren could see right through that. "It doesn't matter anymore."

He hated himself for not knowing the words to make you feel better about it; he really did. For the life of him, Ren didn't know what to say. He was the stupid one. All he could do was pull you closer, wrap his arms around your waist, and squeeze.

He really wasn't good with words, and he'd never felt like more of an asshole for it.

You played mindlessly with his hair, honestly happy that he wasn't digging anymore into it. "I'm sorry," you couldn't help but say, feeling like this whole awkward situation was your fault.

"Never apologize for things you didn't do," Ren said quickly, and you were taken aback by how firm his voice was, leaving no room for argument.

Trying to lighten the mood a little, you said, "Well, someone has to," with a bittersweet smile. Then, you hugged him back, enjoying the warmth, the comfort that came from being wrapped up in him.

He didn't reply. Instead, he just held you.

After that, you thought it was over.

Ren didn't mention it again, and everything was out in the open. The air was cleared, and now you didn't have to feel guilty for "lying" by omission. You'd never need to think about your ex again, and Ren didn't look at you differently (to your immense relief).

He was more mindful of not frightening you accidentally, but that was really all that changed.

At least, you thought it was.

One day, you were lounging on his bed again, phone in hand. He was at his desk, playing a game with his friend from Bofurin. Afterwards, he was taking you out for dango, which you were looking forward to.

Suddenly, you got a text from him. From your ex. It made your stomach churn just seeing his name pop up on your phone again, but you were curious, so you read it.

'I'm so, so sorry for everything I did to you. You deserve so much better than me. I'm just a piece of shit, and you were way too good for me. I'm just really, really sorry.'

Your eyes flew open, because that was not your ex, but the number was definitely his. "Hey, Ren, check this out," you whispered, awed.

"What is it?" He asked, looking over his shoulder at you with raised eyebrows. His hands, bandages over his knuckles from a recent fight where he had "gone a little too hard" (his words), held steady to his controller.

"My ex... He apologized to me," you breathed, still in shock. Your ex was not the kind of person to apologize. Even when he left you bruised and bloody, no apologies came, only half-assed excuses and monologues about how mean his mom was.

"Crazy," Ren said in a deadpan tone, turning back around to his game.

You blinked, suddenly putting the pieces together. These words were not your ex's, not by choice, anyways. And Ren had met you on the bridge last night with those bandages, but no other signs of a fight, not even a scratch or bruise.

Your eyes widened, dropping your phone immediately to stare into the back of Ren's chair. "Ren...?"

He hummed.

"Did you do something?"

"Uh, yeah," he said bluntly.

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. You stood up and went over to his chair, looking down at him with wide eyes. "What exactly... did you do?"

He didn't even look at you, eyes still trained on his game, as he casually said, "I beat the shit out of him."

"Ren!"

He only shrugged, and then wrapped one arm around your waist to pull you closer until you were sitting on the arm of his chair. Ren kissed the back of your shoulder, and then said, "Someone needed to."

Kaji Ren wasn't great with words, and in the moment when you told him about your ex, he'd never hated himself more for it. That is, until he remembered how great with his fists he was.

DAZAI OSAMU

You sat on the couch in the living room of Osamu's small apartment, where you had been staying pretty much since the two of you started dating. Outside the window, you could see the stars shining against a nearly black sky. Tired to the bone, all that was stopping you from passing out in his bed, which smelled so sweetly of him, was the fact that he was still out on some mission.

Knowing what he did for a living, especially knowing how dangerous it was, you just never felt right going to sleep without seeing him back home first, safe and sound. As such, you sat with a fluffy throw you'd brought from home over your lap, trying to pay attention to the soap opera playing on the TV to no avail.

You were worried sick, constantly checking your phone for updates, but he hadn't texted you back in hours. It was nearly three in the morning now, and as the minutes ticked on, you felt your heart encase itself with this terrible dread and worry.

You knew before you started dating him about his job at the detective agency, but you'd never imagined back then how attached you would become to him. He didn't seem like the type to stay, so you never figured you'd be up all night worried.

Alas, here you were, halfway getting ready to drive to the agency building and ask about his whereabouts.

You flinched, brought out of your mind, when the door very slowly creaked open. Immediately, you turned around to look over the couch, relief washing over you like warm sun rays when you saw Osamu walking in.

"Hey," he said softly, probably seeing from the deep bags under your eyes how tired you were. Osamu's eyebrows pinched together, concerned, as he carefully placed his trench coat on the counter. "What are you still doing up?" He made his way over to the back of the couch, long, thin fingers absently going to lightly scratch against your scalp. Crouching slightly so he'd be closer to you, Osamu tilted his head. "You weren't waiting up for me, were you?"

The way his fingers softly tugged at the roots of your hair sent a pleasant shiver through your body. "Of course, I was... I wanted to make sure you were safe." You tilted your head up and back to properly look at him, dazed momentarily by the way his lips lifted into the softest smile, his brown eyes twinkling.

"I'm sorry. I would've called you, but my phone went dead." He leaned down to brush his lips against your hairline, hand leaving your hair. "You should get some sleep. I'll join you after I take a shower."

You nodded, the memory of his touch ghosting over you. "Okay." Honestly, you couldn't think of anything better than going to sleep. Part of you wanted to be a little pissy with him for not getting back to you somehow, but the other part was just too relieved to see him in one piece.

"I'll be out in ten," he said, squeezing your shoulder before walking off down the hall.

You sighed lightly once he left, pushing your blanket to the side and standing up. Stretching your arms over your head, you couldn't help but smile to yourself.

Osamu was rough around the edges, and it had taken him quite some time to get used to being in a relationship, but being with him felt like a breath of fresh air. Your previous partner might have lowered your standards some, but after months and months, you still felt safe with Osamu.

He didn't switch up on you like your last had.

It was a testament to how far you'd come that you were annoyed about him not answering. In your last, that was the last thing on your mind. Your physical health wasn't always guaranteed back then, because your last had a penchant for punching everything that inconvenienced him and a short fuse to match.

Even reminiscing about it made your muscles tense up, so you quickly shook away the thought. Just as you were about to head into the bedroom, you saw his coat lying on the counter out of the corner of your eye. With an exasperated sigh, you walked over to pick it up and hang it on the coat rack.

Osamu had a terrible habit of dropping his clothes wherever.

You picked it up, about to hang it on the rack when your fingers cramped. Wincing, the coat fell from your grasp. As soon as it hit the floor, there was a loud POP! that had you covering your ears, dizzy and confused.

It was accompanied by the terribly loud shatter of glass, and shards falling unceremoniously onto the hardwood floor.

You gasped and jumped back, eyes widened with horror. Apparently, his gun had been in there, and now, like the idiot klutz you were, his living room window was shattered.

Just like that, all of your progress froze. You were in fight or flight, blood pumping rapidly through your veins. You could feel your heartbeat at every pulse point, because oh, my god.

He was going to be so angry.

You were acting on autopilot now, flashbacks coming to you of a time when you'd accidentally broken a plate—just a plate—and your ex put you in the ER for it. This was a whole window. You were hyperventilating, your brain cut off from oxygen and getting fuzzy.

It wasn't a second after the gun went off that you'd flown over to the window and crouched down, trying to gather all the pieces. Maybe, if you had it cleaned up by the time Osamu was out of the shower, he wouldn't be as angry.

You didn't really hear him frantically shout your name from the bathroom, the buzzing in your ears too loud. Neither did you hear him running into the living room, panic in his eyes as he assumed the worst.

When Osamu saw you there, he blinked, confused. When his eyes found the trench coat not lying where he'd placed it, he understood immediately.

"Hey, hey, hey. Baby, that's glass," he said, quickly making his way over. He'd already taken his shirt off, revealing the bandages wrapped around his middle and up his neck.

You didn't really hear him, nor did you notice how the shards cut your hands. Blood dripped down your fingers, palms, and wrists, staining the glass and the floor red.

Osamu crouched down beside you, eyes widening at the bloody scene. He immediately grabbed your wrists to stop you from collecting any more glass shards, his grip firm, but gentle.

You froze, too scared to look at him. "I'm so sorry," you whispered, shaking your head as tears welled in your eyes. "I didn't mean to, Osamu. I swear. I—"

"Hey, it was my fault," he replied, shaking his head. "I shouldn't have left a loaded gun lying around like that. I'm sorry, okay? I'll clean this up later."

"I—I can do it," you insisted, finally looking at him. Your breath stopped when you saw the sadness in his eyes, the way he looked like he just knew.

He smiled at you, but it was placatingly, as if he knew the quickest way to go about this was to simply go along with your panicked ravings. "I'm sure you can, baby, but I will. It's my fault. Let's get you to the bathroom so I can treat your hands, yeah?"

"My... hands?" You looked at your hands, your wrists still in his grip, and were horrified by how bloody and mangled they looked. Your breathing was starting to even out, finally coming back to yourself.

"Yeah, just..." He eyed the glass, and it was all around. Tiny shards that glinted dangerously in the yellow light of a nearby lamp, all around you. "Don't move."

You were still dazed, so you just did what he said.

Osamu stood, and then carefully scooped you up bridal style. Lips pressed into a thin line, he looked around at the floor closely before finally finding a spot where it didn't seem the glass reached. He set you down carefully, and then led you with a hand on the dip of your back to the bathroom.

The next thing you knew, you were sitting on the toilet, in disbelief of the spell you'd just had. Meanwhile, Osamu had lied out tweezers, Neosporin, and bandages on the sink counter.

"I'm sorry," you uttered again, embarrassed of how he'd found you, and more so embarrassed of how he was having to fix you up now. Honestly, you didn't even want to look him in the eye.

"You didn't do anything wrong," he said softly, grabbing the tweezers in one hand. With the other, he squeezed your knee. "I'm not quite used to living with someone else yet. I should know better than to leave a loaded gun around."

"I'm so clumsy," you muttered, head falling.

"And I'm an idiot," he said lightly, using a finger to raise your chin. He rested his forehead to your's, closing his eyes tight. "I'm relieved it was the window... When I heard the gunshot, I was terrified it was you."

You squeezed your eyes shut, too, enjoying the closeness. The tears that had brimmed earlier started to fall, but you wouldn't acknowledge them.

"I know what PTSD looks like," he murmured, wrapping his arm around you and holding you close. "If you want to talk about it, we can."

You shook your head, biting your lips. Not yet. You weren't ready yet.

Osamu nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead before pulling away. He gently grabbed one of your hands, getting ready to remove the glass from your skin. He made quick work of your hands, and before long they were glass free and bandaged.

He kissed the knuckles on your right hand, and then pulled you up to a standing position. "I'll clean the glass up. You go lay down. I'll be there in a minute, okay?"

You nodded.

That night, as you fell asleep in his arms, you had never felt safer.

[makochi-furin]

THE THREE WAYS THAT KAJI REN PROTECTS YOU

A/N: Hi, all. This is an example format of one of my types of structures for writing this sort of content. This is a hc-scenario mix :)

WARNING(s): sexual harassment, reader is backhanded (not by kaji)

—Kaji Ren doesn't play when it comes to his s/o. He's well known for his temper, and has quite a short fuse. That's why he wears his headphones and always has a sucker: so he can't hear someone talk shit and snap, and so he can't say anything back to make the confrontation worse. He actively does his best to control this part of him—the part that wants to break a mf's jaw. When it comes to his s/o, he's even more likely to temper it down. When it comes to someone messing with his s/o, bets are off

—He's very gentle with you. He's very aware of himself around you, and how he can be scary and rough around the edges. The last thing he wants is for you to feel unsafe in his presence, or scared of him. He really does his best to not act like a delinquent around you. Really. He tries so hard, yall

—You have probably heard of some of the things he's done, particularly from the townsfolk who go on and on about how amazing Bofurin is, and how they saved the town from different gangs and teams. Sure, you know he's strong, and you know he often gets into fights (that much is evident from the scratches and bruises he always has on him), but it's hard to connect your sweet, quiet boyfriend to the big, bad member of Bofurin who kicks ass and takes names like it's his job

—He's also very quiet, even around you. It's not intentional. Kaji is just a generally quiet person, and prefers to listen to you ramble about whatever more than talking about his own day (especially since his days usually consist of fighting). His fondness for you is quiet, too, but obvious to anyone who knows him. Sometimes, it's so subtle you don't even really notice. For example, he always walks road-side when you two take a walk through town; he somehow remembers EVERYTHING about you if you mention it even once (birthday, favorite color, favorite flower and food, etc...); when you two go on walks, he trails very slightly behind you, as if to watch your back; most of all, he takes his headphones off around you

—The school day was hard. You woke up late, you had forgotten to complete an assignment, and there was a pop quiz in your worst class. Not to mention, all of your friends were missing that day, out sick or at appointments, so you were left alone. Then, to make matters worse, you spilt your drink all over yourself at lunch. Several people laughed at you, and you had to walk around in your white, uniform button up that was stained and see through at the bottom.

Honestly, it was just an awful day.

You were getting ready to head home and crash, forgoing all of your homework, when your phone dinged right as you were about to catch the bus. With a sigh, you looked down at it, expecting it to be one of your parents ripping into you about a forgotten chore or something (with the day you'd been having, it wouldn't be a surprise).

Meet me at the bridge

From: Blondie

You couldn't help but give a weak smile. Your bed sounded nice, but honestly, venting to Ren sounded a lot nicer. You were practically on the verge of tears in the middle of the day, in disbelief about how awful your day had been. You could really use his presence, so you went.

The bridge was empty, thankfully, and Ren sitting on the railing and looking up at the clear, blue sky was a lonely sight until you joined him.

Without a word, you climbed up on the railing, sitting next to him. Your eyes fell to the river running below, enjoying the gentle sound of it flowing along. From here, you couldn't even really hear any other people on the streets. It was nice and calm, a welcome change from the rest of the day.

When he noticed you there, he looked over and started to smile. When he saw your sorry state, shirt all stained, a miserable expression on your face, red lined eyes, the smile fell immediately. He carefully placed his headphones to rest around his neck.

"Hey. You look awful. What's wrong?" He was blunt, but you'd learned he wasn't trying to be rude. He was simply straightforward. Unlike his rather plain voice, though, his dark blue eyes stormed with concern.

Honestly, you probably just wanted to cry, but didn't want to embarrass yourself. Instead, you let your head fall, fidgeting with your hands in your lap to distract yourself as your legs hung limply over the railing.

"It was just a really bad day," you explained with a pitiful voice, cracking halfway through.

Ren stared at you for a second, and if you looked you'd probably see the cogs turning behind his eyes. He was kind of short circuiting. He wasn't great at these kinds of situations, but he cared for you so much that seeing you all sad and upset made him incredibly uncomfortable.

All he really knew to do was gently disconnect your hands from each other, taking one and lacing his long, slender fingers through it. He blinked at you when you looked up at him. Though his expression was still plain and rather stoic (he really just didn't know what to do), his voice was soft as he said, "Tell me about it."

You widened your eyes a bit. You two hadn't been together for very long, and honestly in the beginning, sometimes you wondered if he even really liked you. But, as your eyes fell to your connected hands, and then back up to his, you knew he did. He cared enough to give you his full, undivided attention, even picking up his phone to pause his music so it wouldn't be audible through the headphones.

For Ren, it was a pretty big deal.

You broke right then and there, venting to him about everything. You were just so overwhelmed that letting it out helped immensely. And unlike others, he didn't try to give advice, or anything like that. He just listened.

Then, at the end, he squeezed your hand gently. "I'm sorry your day's been so shit... But... It's okay now. It's over."

Afterwards, he probably bought you whatever you wanted for dinner, and then offered to help you with your homework so you could go right to pretending you didn't exist in your bed when you got home.

—He really is very new to this whole 'relationship' thing, but he does his very best. He's honestly just not the greatest at saying or doing the right thing, but, my god, does this poor boy try to

—There are other ways he protects you, too, than just being there for you and listening. There's also the more physical ways, obviously. He's very observational, despite popular belief, and is usually acutely aware of what's going on around him (and especially around you). His quick reflexes have saved you from a world of pain multiple times, particularly if you're clumsy

—One time, you asked him to go out shopping with you. You knew he wasn't huge on clothes, or anything, but you wanted the company and to spend some of his rare off time with him. Of course, he agreed.

"This is so cute. Don't you think?" you asked with a bright smile, holding out the top you'd found at a thrift store towards him.

He was behind you, leaning on the cement wall with one hand in his pockets and hangers with the other clothes you liked in the other. Ren only nodded, but that didn't deter you at this point.

You grinned, deciding to buy the top. Starting to walk towards him so he could hold this one, too, you failed to notice your shoe catching on the bottom of the metal rack. With a little yelp and widened eyes, you started to fall forward.

You heard the clattering of multiple hangers hitting the solid floor, but you were more worried about the fact that your head was about to hit the cement wall full on. Squeezing your eyes shut, you waited for impact, but it didn't come.

Instead, you felt your head hit something warm and marginally softer than cement. Opening your eyes, you let out a sigh of relief.

Ren had grabbed the back of your shirt, and then leaned over you to shield your head with his hand probably before it even registered to you that you were falling. He easily pulled you back up, careful not to step back until you caught your balance.

"Klutz," he muttered after giving you a once over, which immediately had you pouting, of course, and flushing pink. Ren smirked at the expression, much to your chagrin.

"Ren," you whined.

His smirk would rise into a true smile, then. His smiles were contagious and beautiful, reminding you of daybreak, when the scary night was finally gone and the sky was a gorgeous painting of pink, orange, and red.

You couldn't help but smile back.

"It's okay. I'll always save you from busting your ass," he said, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead that had you melting, regardless of the rough wording.

Sometimes, only sometimes, the boy had rizz.

—These are ways that Kaji protects you that you don't even really think about much, because they're so common. Emotionally, he tries his very hardest to always be there for you, to always be someone you can tell anything to. He doesn't judge you. He keeps you from hurting yourself accidentally, and is always there to catch you when you fall

—Maybe the only time you ever see him actually pissed (not bad argument pissed, but ready to throw hands pissed) is when you're being physically threatened somehow

—I can't stress this enough: he does not, under any circumstances, want you to see him fighting. He's still scared deep down that he'll black out and IT will happen. He'll lose sight and take out everyone around him. It scares him even when he's fighting with other members of Bofurin, so it definitely scares him around you. He does everything he can not to lose his temper around you: music, suckers, hell, even breathing techniques

—However, and this is a massive however, any mf who messes with you must be crazy as hell, especially if they know you're Kaji's girl, because my god he'll hit 'em with a scream AND his fists. That song RAHH—yeah, that's Kaji. He will not play

—You two were meeting up for a date at this cute, little diner in the city. As always, you were a little bit early, so you leaned back on the brick of the diner wall and looked up at the sunset.

Kaji had probably gotten caught up with something, but he'd make it in relatively good time. He always did. And if something really got in the way, he'd text you about it, probably with only one apology, but the next time you saw him he'd have wildflowers, or some other gift to give you to make it up.

You had dressed up pretty cute for this particular date, though. A nice, little diner with the gorgeous sunset as your backdrop? Yeah, you wanted to take photos and dress up a little for Ren. No matter how long you'd been dating him, the way he looked you up and down, a little blush just barely visible across his cheeks, always made your heart swell,

No matter how long you'd been dating, he still had a crush on you.

You were busy thinking about what you'd order, or what you'd talk to Ren about first, to notice the trio of men who were walking by.

They were older than you, at least a decade so, and they immediately stopped when one pointed you out.

"You look mighty nice," said the tallest one, and he was big like a bear. Rough-looking like one, too, with a roguish smirk and lustful eyes, he looked you up and down, but not in the way Ren did. When this man did it, you just felt gross, like you needed to cover up.

"T-Thank you," you muttered, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at the ground. You hoped they'd just keep walking, but they didn't. In fact, your worst fear was confirmed when they instead gathered around you, cornering you.

"You look pretty lonely out here all alone, too. Did you get stood up?" asked a much shorter man, staring unabashedly at your chest. "We can help you out, ya know."

"I'm good... Thank you," you said, trying to back up, but you were already leaning on a wall. "I don't want any trouble."

"No, no trouble at all. Just a good time," said bear man, taking a step closer, getting way too far into your personal space.

Your heart rate shot through the roof, but you were also frozen by fear. Against one man, maybe you had a chance. Against three with no weapons? You felt helpless, and you hated it.

"You gotta number?"

"I... um," you stumbled, feeling so stupid. "I have a boyfriend... Sorry." With that, you got off the wall and tried to squeeze past them, but bear man quickly snatched you back in place by your wrist, grip so hard it would definitely bruise.

Tears brimmed at your eyes. "That hurts," you cried, really beginning to fear for your safety now. You tried to rip your arm away, but it was no use. "Let go of me!" you finally yelled.

The one who hadn't spoken yet spat out, "Nice guys like us are constantly getting fucked over by girls like you. Where's your so-called boyfriend, huh?"

Bear man laughed, but quickly narrowed his eyes with rage the more you tried to tug yourself free. Finally, he had enough when you scratched at the top of his hand, and then he backhanded you pretty brutally.

A cry of pain escaped your lips, the left side of your face stinging terribly, particularly where his ring had left a nasty cut on your cheek. Finally, tears fell from your eyes. "He's real, and he's on his way. He's a member of Bofurin," you said weakly, hoping it would deter them.

Everyone knew what Bofurin was, after all.

To your horror and growing panic, they only laughed at you, though, even as you held your cut face and looked away. "Sure, sure," chuckled the short man, sounding very confident. "Where is he, then?"

"He's right here."

Immediately, you were crushed by an overwhelming wave of relief. Just his voice, as pissed off as he sounded, was enough to assure you that everything would be all right.

Ren would handle it.

The three men turned, immediately stepping away from you.

"Hey, man, we were just checking on your girl, ya know? We saw her fall and hit her head on the wall. Looked pretty nasty," said bear man, sharing tense looks with his buddies.

You couldn't bring yourself to say anything, too overwhelmed and shaken by what happened, so you just dropped your hand from your face and looked at Ren, who stared at you.

There was an inferno in his eyes. You could tell immediately. Otherwise, he looked perfectly calm, but this was the most angry you'd ever seen him, especially when he caught sight of the blood slowly dripping from the cut on your cheek.

It was weird, too, because usually Ren got hot angry. He yelled and cursed. This was calm, though. Too calm. This time, he was cold angry.

"Right," he said quietly, which immediately had the trio's tense shoulders falling with relief. Without ever taking his eyes from your's, Ren walked towards you.

You'd never been so happy to have a boyfriend who could intimidate people just by looking at them.

He wordlessly took off his headphones, gently setting them on your head, music blasting so loud it almost surprised you. You couldn't hear anything. Ren took the sucker out of his mouth and threw it to the side, which was very unlike him.

He always even kept the sticks and wrappers to throw away later.

Finally, with that storm still raging in his eyes, he sweetly kissed your nose, whispered, "Leave it to me," and turned you around so you were facing the wall.

You didn't move an inch, still too frazzled about what had happened, in your head about what could have happened. You weren’t sure you'd ever been so scared.

For about a minute, you just stared at the brick, tears falling from your eyes and stinging the open cut on your cheek. You flinched when the headphones were taken off your head, and then a gentle hand rested on your arm to turn you around.

Ren rested the headphones around his neck, and then silently wrapped his arms around you in a warm, comforting hug. He rested his chin on top of your head, squeezing you.

You relished in the comfort, squeezing you eyes closed against his chest, sure that if you looked around, you'd see three unconscious bodies lying beaten and bloodied on the ground.

His hand found your hair, fingers lightly scratching your scalp. "I'm sorry I'm late."

Still in shock from the events and taken aback by his soft tone, you couldn't help but smile weakly. "It's okay," you breathed, still not pulling away from him. You weren't sure you ever would.

"Let's go get you cleaned up," he said, leading you with a hand pressed against the arch of your back. While you stepped over bear man's unconscious form, Ren intentionally stomped right on his face, no doubt breaking his jaw by the sickening crack you heard, with a stoic expression as if he hadn't just done that.

Needless to say, he bought you a pocket knife and told you to let the air out of any bitch who cornered you again.

—Y'all, when I say this mf don't play, he DON'T PLAY. It's canon. Istg

[makochi-furin]

Hii hii! I hope your doing okay today or tonight, I was wondering if you could write something for dazai (idm if it’s scenario, hc or mix of it and if you add another character you really want to write about).

The request basically is; a reader who finally told Dazai about their past abuser, how they got away with no consequences (who reader mentioned seeing sometimes in the city) and later said abuser goes to the agency on behalf their company to investigate missing items.

Stuff like this is really comforting for me so thank you if you do it :D I hope I put in enough detail for you to work with.

DAZAI AND CONSEQUENCES

A/N: baby, I’m so sorry, but this is long asf and I got a lil carried away💀 I’m also sorry it took a bit to get out. I work in a nursery, so I work 12 hours shifts, and this got to me slam in the middle of my first one (out of three in a row). If this isn’t what you wanted, you can send me in another ask :) But I hope you like it

WARNING(s): reader was in a physically abusive relationship in the past, mentions of PTSD, canon-typical violence, mentions of panic attacks, pissed off dazai, reader is a girl

—I'm gonna assume this is like a pt. 2 of this writing, but it can stand alone, too :)

—We all know Dazai is megamind over here. He sees EVERYTHING. Nothing goes unnoticed by him (which you probably find a little annoying, tbh, but oh, well). It's especially annoying when he knows things about you that you don't necessarily want him to know

—HOWEVER, if it's something that you physically and emotionally feel like you cannot talk about, like it brings you distress and discomfort, he's very unlikely to push you about it. Let's be honest, this man's probably never even told you the name of his parents. You don't even know if Dazai Osamu IS his real name, so he knows he hasn't got room to talk

—I feel like if Dazai noticed something about your mannerisms, or the way you act that very obviously speaks to past trauma, he'd ask you about it, like in my previous writing. If you're unable or unwilling to talk about it, he drops it. He SO desperately wants to know, but he cares for you too much to put you in any sort of emotional distress by pushing it

—When you do decide to open up to him, he's all ears. He knows how hard it is to speak about the shadows of your past, and he honestly is just so flattered that you trust him (he can't believe it, lmao. Like, three people in his life truly trust him) enough to tell him about it

—You were sitting on the edge of the bathtub in Osamu's apartment, absently watching him comb through his wet hair. The two of you had showered together, and you couldn't help but notice over the months of your relationship how much he had changed.

Osamu was flighty at first, and very distrustful. He wasn't a fan of placing himself in vulnerable positions. Not just to you, but to anyone. Yet, when you'd gently brought up his lack of self care, and how it made you sad to see the person you loved think so little of themselves, a change happened.

You helped, of course. At first, you reminded him to brush his teeth when he forgot, and then you began combing his hair. You'd point out when it was time to change his bandages, and call him to bed at an acceptable time because you knew he'd just stay up until the early hours of the morning (if he slept at all). Together, you two had even begun cooking meals, and he'd started to fill out a little bit.

Now, he made sure to do all of those things, even if you didn't remind him/cook with him, because he felt better, yes, but also because he could see how happy it made you.

He was still suffering from chronic depression, of course. You knew you couldn't fix that, and were thinking about gently bringing up a therapist to him, but he had gotten so much better. Even his coworkers noticed it.

Osamu dragged a comb through his brown waves, eyes narrowed as he focused intently on it. It meant so much to you. How could he not focus on it?

You knew it, too. He would've never made these changes for himself, but he had begun to trust that you had his best interest at heart. A few weeks ago, he'd even opened up about some of his own traumas surrounding Mori and the Port Mafia, about his best friend, Oda Sakunosuke.

Osamu trusted you.

That was why it felt so wrong to keep your own past from him, because he was finally starting to open up. You feared if you didn't return the favor, he'd wilt again. More so, you'd recently been catching yourself let parts of the story slip. Subconsciously, you wanted so badly to tell him.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" He asked lightly, brown eyes sparkling with so much affection that it had your breath catching. Osamu was watching you from the mirror.

You blinked, realizing you'd been out of it for a moment, lost in thought. In your lap, you fiddled with your fingers. Part of you wanted to shut down as your heart plummeted at the thought of reliving the worst of it...

But the way he looked at you, like you hung the sun and the stars, like he felt such fondness for you that 'I love you' simply didn't cut it...

It was time to tell him.

"Can... Can we talk?" you asked, surprised by the softness of your voice. It was almost ashamed, but you knew you shouldn't feel shame for what had happened to you.

Only, you were so scared he'd feel ashamed of you.

Osamu was a great aim, and he was smart as a whip, and he was oddly strong for his thin figure. He'd never let himself stay in the sort of situation you did. He'd fight back.

You felt so small.

He turned to look at you, leaning back on the bathroom counter. His eyes were gentle and knowing, and you couldn't tell if you were upset that he already knew what this was about, or relieved. "Of course," he said with a little smile, squatting down in front of you and taking your hands in his. "What about?"

You gulped, knowing there was no turning back now. If you told him this, you'd be trusting him with probably the worst part of your life. Even imagining it, the past with him, made you sick to your stomach.

You knew you'd backtrack if you didn't just rip it off like a bandaid.

"I overreact to things sometimes," you whispered, and he squeezed your hands. "I'm sure you've noticed it."

"I wouldn't use the word 'overreact.'"

You chewed on your lips nervously, staring into his eyes. Thankfully, all you saw there was understanding, but it was still so hard. "My ex beat me. For years... Anytime I did... anything, pretty much. It was bad." Your voice cracked as you continued, tears welling in your eyes. "I couldn't see my family... I ended up in the ER a few times. He broke me, Osamu. He had me convinced I'd never trust another man."

You waited with baited breath for his reaction, trying to hold in the tears. Your eyes stung and your breathing was speeding up into gasps, because you hadn't even told your family or closest friends the full extent of it.

Osamu looked oddly calm, but at the sight of your fallen tears, he got up to sit beside you. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, he pulled you in close, flush against him, and kissed your temple. "Breathe, baby. It's all right now," he whispered, squeezing you close.

You couldn't stop it now, though. What had been building up since you left your ex was being released right here, right now. There was no turning back. Hot tears rolled down your cheeks and clouded your eyesight. Subconsciously, you grabbed his shirt in a tight grip and squeezed until your hand ached.

"He beat the shit out of me, and nothing ever happened," you continued, the anguish in your voice now laced by anger. "He broke my collarbone... my jaw—my ribs and my wrist. He made me feel like an ant, like I was so small, and I still feel that way now, and even after I left him... I'm still suffering, but he gets to go about his life like it was nothing. I couldn't even go to the police—he said he'd kill me," you got out through gasps, squeezing your eyes closed as your vision had started to darken at the edges, anyways.

Osamu's eyes flashed with something you didn't recognize, but all he knew to do was pull you in tighter. He placed a hand on your head and pulled you into his chest, and you certainly weren't trying to resist.

"It's not fair," you added, knowing how childish you sounded. Nothing was ever fair. Here you were, saying all this to a man who had probably done much worse than just break people's bones, complaining about fairness.

You weren't a child. You knew life wasn't fair, but that didn't mean it didn't fucking suck that it wasn't.

"Sometimes, I still see him, you know... In town, I—" You had to stop, otherwise you'd make it worse for yourself.

He held you close, rubbing your back and gently scratching your scalp as he whispered for you to breathe. Osamu knew you were about to land neck deep into a panic attack.

Eventually, he did get you calmed down. He got you to bed, made you a mug of hot chocolate, and read to you for about thirty minutes before you were able to catch your breath, his smooth voice calming you better than any benzo could.

In the end, you two lied down together, your back pressed to his front. The bandaged arm that was wrapped around your waist felt like a safety blanket. You were sure you'd be embarrassed about your outburst tomorrow, but for right now, you simply soaked up the feeling of him wrapped around you so snugly.

"You're not small," he whispered to you, and that was the last thing you remembered before passing out.

—Dazai doesn't seem different to you afterwards, in that he doesn't act differently towards you. You were worried at first that he'd see you differently, that he'd see you as being as weak as you saw yourself, but it was the furthest thing from. He respects the hell out of people who can go through such terrible things, and yet come out so kind, so good

—While he doesn't seem different, inwardly you can bet he's raging. Dazai is PISSED OFF, more than he's been in years. He's made great progress, but let's not forget that Dazai can be a cruel mf. He's got a darkness in him that he doesn't want you to see, but it is definitely there

—He doesn't press you for anymore details, but he can't help himself. He digs. He uses his brilliance to find out who the guy is, who his name is, and any time he feels even a slight bit of guilt at digging into your past life without your knowledge, he reminds himself of the injuries you listed.

—You thought he'd forget the things you admitted during your confession? PLEASE. He needs to know everything about this fucking piece of work. If he has a photo, he might even text it to Chuuya, along with a message "wanted alive," and you best bet Chuuya takes it seriously (even if he hates Dazai, lmao) because just by LOOKING at the photo of this guy, everyone can tell he's an asshole. And you still see this mf sometimes? Man is RAGING

—Dazai stands on business, because seeing you so torn up about it physically hurts him. It makes his heart ache every time he remembers you in that state. He can't fucking stand it, and he has to do something about it

—Your words about it being unfair haunt him in his nightmares. You're right to a degree: the world isn't fair. However, Dazai knows that if it takes him a million years, he's gonna make this shit fair

—Then, what do you know, one day he's at the office and Atsushi comes strolling in with a Manila folder and the piece of shit, himself. There he is, practically served to Dazai on a silver platter

—"This is Tanaka Jiro," Atsushi chirped, missing the way Dazai's eyes widened when he saw the new client. "He's here on behalf of the engineering company that got broken into last night."

Dazai sat up in his chair, staring right at the man who had the gall to make you feel small and weak. His eyes darkened, and then he slowly smiled. It wasn't happy or gentle, or even playful and teasing.

He smiled like Mori smiled.

In that moment, if his coat was black instead of tan, he'd look the picture of his younger, crueler self. He supposed that part of him never went away, always there just at the edge of his subconscious.

He promised Odasaku that he'd push it away, that he'd do good. However, he felt that even Odasaku, his kind friend, would understand the necessity of it now.

Immediately, he jumped out of his chair and made his way over. His hand landed on Atsushi's hair, giving it a playful ruffle. As he looked at him, his eyes softened. "Maa, Atsushi-kun. You work too hard, you know. I'll take this case for you."

Atsushi stared at him with obvious shock, eyes wide and jaw on the floor, because Dazai never, ever volunteered to work. If anything, he complained about it like a child.

"D-Dazai-san?" he breathed, in disbelief. It looked like he thought someone had killed the real Dazai, and was now acting in his place.

"Ah, ah," Dazai chirped, shoving Atsushi away. "Go do normal teenager things. Flirt, make friends," his voice trailed off as his gaze slid to Tanaka, your ex, and the smirk lifted his lips once more, eyes flashing dangerously, "all of that."

"O-Okay," Atsushi mumbled, still in shock. He recovered quickly, smiling brightly at Tanaka. "Dazai-san is a very good detective, Tanaka-san. You're in good hands!" he promised.

Tanaka smiled back, and seeing the bastard have the audacity to smile had Dazai seething internally.

Maybe, he'd take all his teeth, so that he could never smile again.

"Thank you for your help, Nakajima-kun," Tanaka said, nodding.

As Atsushi walked off, Dazai tilted his head to the side, his plan already formed. "Follow me to answer some questions, and then I'll begin investigating right away."

—For Dazai's plan to pay off, he needs to figure out who broke into the company. It wasn't a planned event, and he quickly figured out the guy who did it probably had no connection to the company (probably just a low down thief looking for some quick cash), which made it more difficult. It was the sort of not-really-a-big-deal crime that the agency would usually put on the back burner (the only reason it even came to them was because the thief was figured to be gifted), but Dazai worked tirelessly at it

—He interviewed people, looked over documents from dusk to dawn, and just generally put in a hell of a lot more effort for this than he usually would for some petty theft

—You probably even notice how hard he's working. There are bags under his eyes and he's back to not taking very good care of himself, but when you ask about it (obviously worried), he just smiles gently, kisses you, and assures you that he'll have this case figured out in no time. He doesn't want you anywhere near this

—When he does find the criminal, their interaction goes something like this:

"I know you did it. Give me the shit you stole, and I'll let you off."

"Bet."

—He has this part meticulously planned out. While your ex is in work one day, Dazai plants the stolen items in his car, and then calls the company security

—He watches with glee as he's dragged from the building, kicking and screaming like an enraged toddler, and fired on the spot. Your ex's livelihood? Gone. Phase one? Completed

—Dazai sat at his desk with a satisfied smile, chin resting in the palm of his hand as he counted down in his head. Everyone else is entrenched in their own workloads, barely even noticing the malicious sparkle in Dazai's eyes.

Soon enough, the door bursted open, and your ex came running in. His eyes were rimmed red, like he'd been crying, and he was flushed all over from rage. "What the fuck did you do?!" he demanded, pointing at Dazai.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently, standing and walking over with the same smile.

Everyone else stopped what they were doing, watching the scene with widened, or curious eyes. This sort of thing didn't happen much at the ADA.

"You know what the fuck I mean, you piece of shit!" Tanaka screamed in his face, and it only made Dazai's smile widen. When he saw this, he hissed, "I think we should take this outside."

"Hold on," demanded Atsushi, immediately standing from his desk, along with Kyouka and Kenji.

Dazai didn't even look at them, staring into Tanaka's eyes, as he held up his hand to stop them in their tracks. The smile melted off his face, replaced by a cold glare and lips pressed into a line. "I'm fine," he assured them, light tone not at all matching his expression.

"But—Dazai-san," Atsushi mumbled, eyes flickering between Dazai and Tanaka.

"You guys are so dramatic," Ranpo said with a roll of his eyes, absently watching the scene from his desk, which his feet were propped up on. "Dazai-kun said it's fine."

Dazai tilted his head mockingly at Tanaka. "Are we going outside?"

That, they did. Tanaka stomped down the stairs and through the cafe, out onto the crowded streets of Yokohama.

Dazai followed, of course, even as Tanaka led him towards a darkened alleyway, obstructed from the view of the general public. Inwardly, he thought that this guy was making it way too easy. He was an idiot.

Tanaka stared at the dead end wall for a minute, and then let out a cry of rage, turned on his heel, and began running at Dazai with his arm pulled back and his hand clenched into a fist.

Nonplussed, Dazai side stepped it, loving every minute of the surprise on Tanaka's face. "What? Did you think fighting someone your own size would be as easy as beating on a girl?"

That had Tanaka freezing immediately. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he growled out, and Dazai almost laughed at his attempt to be menacing and scary.

Right on time, a black SUV pulled up. He might not be in the mafia anymore, but Dazai had plenty of contacts from it. When masked men jumped out of the vehicle, surrounding Tanaka, Dazai smirked at the look of pure terror on his face.

"Don't play dumb. You aren't handsome enough to pull it off," he said lightly, and then laughed as Tanaka tried to call for help.

He was knocked out before he could.

When he awoke, eyes all bleary and with a searing headache, he was in a big, dark warehouse. It was old and beaten, with leaking pipes and creaky doors. He was sitting in a chair, hands cuffed together behind him.

Tanaka screamed.

Dazai walked in front of him casually, hands tucked into his pockets. "Scream all you like. No one will hear you," he said.

"Why are you doing this?! Who even are you, man?!" Tanaka cried, the tears falling down his cheeks. He looked so pathetic.

Dazai loved every second of it.

He hummed, walking forward until he was right in front of the bastard, footsteps echoing around the wide open space. Grabbing a fist full of Tanaka's hair, Dazai yanked his head back, so he'd be looking up at him, so he could see the icy glare, the hate.

"You hurt someone I'm very fond," Dazai said softly, tilting his head. "You hurt someone I love... And ever since she told me, I've been thinking of ways to make it fair for her. It's all I've thought about.

"She's not like you and me, you know. She's kind. She's sweet. She's good. You," Dazai scoffed, "you're pathetic. A man who has to beat defenseless women to feel good about himself is no man." When he leaned in close, so his lips were inching his ear, Tanaka whimpered. "And me? I'm the worst of the worst."

Now, all Tanaka could do was cry and plead, but Dazai wasn't having any of it. He let go of Tanaka's hair, letting his head fall limply, enjoying the sounds of his uttered prayer. "No god can save you from me," he told him in a pleasant voice, taking a few steps back.

Dazai crossed his arms and hummed thoughtfully, making a show of it. "I thought I could just kill you, but that's not really fair, is it? She has to live with what you did to her, and I think the fairest thing would be if you have to live with what I do to you."

"You're fucking psychotic," Tanaka whispered.

"Ah," Dazai agreed easily. "I've always been more of a proponent of revenge, rather than justice. See, she probably just wishes you'd have gone to jail." His casual tone melted into something deeper and smoother, deadlier. "Whereas I'm more of an eye-for-an-eye kind of guy, so..." He pursed his lips in faux thought, looking up at the ceiling. "What was it she said?"

Tanaka stared at him in horror, especially when Dazai stared him straight in the eye and smiled.

"Right. Broken jaw, collarbone, ribs, and wrist!" He said, snapping as if he'd just remembered it, as if your broken confession hadn't been causing him physical pain this whole time. "I have plenty of history with breaking jaws, so I guess we'll start there. What do you say?" he asked brightly.

Tanaka screamed again, the sound becoming a cry of raw terror as Dazai began walking towards him.

An hour later, Tanaka still sat in his chair, still handcuffed, but he was bloody and bruised. Every injury he inflicted on you, Dazai returned tenfold. He was delirious with pain, and in and out of consciousness.

Dazai grunted when he looked down at his hands, seeing the blood that absolutely coated his knuckles and bandages. He'd have to clean that up before coming home to you.

"You up?" he asked, walking closer.

When Tanaka immediately flinched back, Dazai hummed with satisfaction.

"I won't kill you," he said, as if he was doing Tanaka some great favor. "You're going to go about your pathetic, little life with no job, and every time you look at yourself, you'll remember this pain. You'll finally feel at least a fraction of what she did."

Tanaka just whimpered. It was hard to speak with a shattered jaw.

Dazai smiled at the sound, crouching down in front of him to force Tanaka to look him in the face, in the eyes. "The men who kidnapped you are going to drop you off at a hospital. They'll ask what happened, and you'll be tempted to tell them. So," his tone lowered into a hiss, breaking the somewhat casual facade now that Tanaka had physically felt his anger. There was no point hiding it now. "I'll tell you the same thing you told her at her lowest point, that defenseless girl who didn't stand a chance against a piece of shit like you: tell the cops, and I'll kill you."

Dazai stood, jaw clenched. "And I'll be watching you from now. Step a toe out of line, hurt anyone else, and I'll bring you right back here. Only, that time, I'll probably just go ahead and do the whole world a favor, and shoot you in the head.

"I bet no one would miss you at all, because that's how small you are."

With that, he walked away.

—I know that was pretty brutal, but to be honest, y'all, Dazai was a whole ass executive in the PM (the 'demon prodigy'). He tries to hold it back in the ADA (per his promise to Oda and his care for the others), but let's not kid ourselves. The guy does have the capacity to do some really evil shit, and I think if he'd do it for anyone, it'd be you

—It just pisses him off so much to feel helpless, especially when it comes to you. He couldn't save you, then, but he can damn well set the record straight. In his head, he had to do something. At the very least, he had to stop this guy from doing it again

—You were eating dinner with him that night, and hadn't really noticed anything out of the ordinary. Both of you were just sitting at the counter, digging into some instant ramen, and you probably wouldn't have noticed if you didn't pay such close attention to him.

There was a speck of blood on the collar of his coat.

"Hey, what happened?" you asked, concern pinching together your brows. Worried eyes scanned him over, looking for any sign of injury. You found none, though.

"It's not mine," Osamu answered, and then took a bite of his food, looking pointedly away from you.

You pursed your lips, tapping his wrist. "We don't lie to each other, O-sa-mu."

He couldn't help but smile a little at your tone. His eyes finally met your's, and he tapped your wrist back. "It's not a lie. It's-not-mine."

"It's a lie by omission if you don't tell me what happened."

You were terribly confused when his eyes softened, and then he gently pressed his hand to the back of your head, bringing you closer until your foreheads were touching. "What's wrong?" you mumbled.

"I can't tell you everything," he admitted slowly, eyes shut. He looked so peaceful, like he was where he was meant to me. Honestly, when Osamu was all soft like this, it took your breath away.

"Then tell me part of it," you breathed, reaching up to cup your hand around his neck. "Did something happen?"

He stayed quiet for a long time, though you didn't know how long. It was like he was contemplating something serious, and that both confused and worried you.

When he finally did speak, it felt like time froze. Everything froze.

"I made it fair. He won't ever hurt anyone else again. I made sure of it."

The words were a whispered promise, and you automatically knew what he was talking about, of course. He was mysterious, and he had been distrustful at first, and you knew he had once been in the mafia, but he was also the person you trusted the most in the world.

Osamu always went above and beyond for you, and you didn't feel as safe anywhere as you did with him.

You believed him wholeheartedly, and found that this admission was enough. You didn't need to know the details, and probably wouldn't want to.

The relief you felt was enough.

"Thank you, Osamu."

—Look, he's so bby girl with you, but he don't play when it comes to your abusive ex💀

—Just... just honestly don't fuck with the people this guy loves, okay? He's gd diabolical, and he can be so cruel to those that hurt who he cares about, so... Just watch it if you're tryna show out to his girl, okay, lmao