#they were well done imo and i feel like people should have the space to appreciate the show

[inke-ri]

y'know I really wish people would start tagging negativity with the proper tags in the djats side of tumblr. people are complaining about how the show did this and that but they never add tags to be blocked or filtered. I've seen 5 different posts about negativity about a ship (mostly in regards to the show adaptation but some about the book) thats tagged just with the ship tag and without any sort of anti- something.

Y'know what, I watched the show and I bought the book, but the way people are going about criticizing the show without the proper tags is making me VERY annoyed. I dont really feel like picking up the book now, if it means I'm gonna end up like that :/

[utilitycaster]

What are some of your favourite podcasts / podcast recs?

It's hard to pick a favorite though I will say at the moment Midst is the one I think I look forward to the most, so I'm just going to go through basically all podcasts I currently or relatively recently previously listened to and sort them by rough genre. Note that as with all recommendation requests it helps to know the vibe of what you're going for and what's important to you (I know I just was like hey I'll take most music recs but the commitment for music is like the length of a song, whereas podcasts/books/movies/tv are a bit more time put in)

Actual Play:

Longtime listener of NADDPod and TAZ which I'm guessing if you follow me you are broadly aware of but if not feel free to ask more; I also post about Worlds Beyond Number enough that you might know what it is. I checked out Burnt Cookbook party a while ago both because I liked Jenna Stoeber's work with Polygon and because someone asked me for Actual Play podcast-only recs with more than one woman or nb player that weren't RQG and I was like oh I should find some. Anyway it's quite good! it's definitely lower production values than bigger podcasts but the plot is highly original and really good, the vibes are fantastic, the characters are a lot of fun, and all in all worth checking out. I also do listen to the Re-Slayer's Take which I've really enjoyed! Everyone's good but while I was familiar with (and a fan of) Jasmine Bhullar and Jasper William Cartwright's work, Jasmine Chiong as Farah speaks to the Grouchy Old Hunter Woman fan in me and has been a personal standout. It is very heavily edited, which does take some getting used to. Also, I mentioned RQG (Rusty Quill Gaming). It comes with the caveat of "very good but slow to start and then doesn't really stick the landing, imo, though the epilogues help" but I can recommend with that warning.

Scripted Fiction

Camlann. Modern post-apocalyptic Arthuriana/Folklore of the British Isles, with some hints of other folklore as well. 1 season; hoping they get funding for a second because it was very well done and also I want Gwen and Morgan to kiss.

Midst. Hard to describe but if you follow me you've seen a lot of posts that might help. Extremely good! About to finish in a bit over a week's time! Check it out and I advice you check out the first 3 episodes at once to get a feel for it; the three-narrator thing is also "get used to it and it will be fine".

The Penumbra Podcast. Originally envisioned as an anthology podcast but then two specific settings (noir-y space opera and medieval court monster hunters) were very popular. Also nearing its end.

The Silt Verses. Quite literally everything on this list would be described as "New Weird" and "has queer characters" and this is maybe the New Weirdest. Anyway, set in a world where gods are real, require human sacrifice to live, and society is both very complicit and also uses the gods to sell shit. I think people who are mad about D20 or CR not being explicitly political enough should listen to it. Extremely good. Also in its endgame, but they've had a very drawn out schedule as of late.

Welcome to Night Vale. You are on Tumblr; presumably you know the drill. I can't say I'm like...super following what happens but it's one of those things that's been a constant in my life for over a decade and takes up a very pleasant hour-ish per month. This feels like damning with faint praise but the earlier stuff was great and it's still strong, it's just, you know, the inevitable slowness of an indefinitely long slice-of-life-ish show vs. the more plot-driven ones above.

Within the Wires. By one of the Night Vale Creators. I have a post about it but it's set on an alternate history Earth where a cataclysmic war/plague/various other bad things absolutely destroyed the population in the early 1900s, leading to a very different global society. Some people say the seasons are very uneven in quality. They are incorrect. The seasons follow different people and all are in the form of found audio, so they are all quite different, but it's entirely a matter of personal preference if you like a season or not; it's not that some are Objectively Better.

Wolf 359 finished a long time back and I haven't relistened since my original listen in like...2018, but of "podcasts that have finished" it's worth it. Weird space stuff.

Informative(?)

Home Cooking by Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat; was a pandemic project that now only airs yearly, really, but worth checking out if you like cooking.

I found out about Home Cooking via Song Exploder, which is just Hrishikesh Hirway talking about songs. Great podcast; the editing is fascinating and I have found a lot of good music from it!

I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats. Has only two seasons but they are both very good if you like The Mountain Goats as a band.

No Such Thing as a Fish: the QI (British quiz show) (if you're British you know this better than I do) researches talk about weird facts and riff on them.

Sawbones: Justin McElroy and his wife Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy talk about weird medical history and dumb wellness trends on tiktok. This is one of the earliest podcasts I subscribed to back when I did not drive nearly as much.

The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green. Has also completed and there's a book that's basically covering the same ground. It's not like, purely informative; it's very anecdotal (as is I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats) but I learned a lot from it.

Honorable mention: I just didn't have the time or energy to keep up with Ologies by Alie Ward but what I listened to was fun and interesting and my sibling is a big fan.

Comedy and Miscellany:

Beef and Dairy Network: also British, on the Max Fun network with the McElroys. Fucking weird. I debated putting this in the scripted fiction because it's basically "what if Welcome to Night Vale was a little less story focused but still had throughlines and was specifically about the cattle industry in some absurdist alternate version of our world" but stuck with comedy bc the absurdity outstrips the plot. It's weird!

My Brother, My Brother, and Me: you probably know this one; either you love it or you don't.

My Dad Wrote a Porno: also British and from what I understand a bigger deal over there. Has uh. reached completion, in that they decided they were done, but the books apparently go on (sorry Rocky I'm not buying them). A guy and his two good friends read and roast his father's self-published erotica e-books about Belinda Blumenthal, Pots and Pans saleswoman, ft. bad accents, corporate espionage, and, of course, The Duchess.

The Empty Bowl: Justin McElroy and Dan Goubert of Cerealously's ASMR podcast about cereal. legitimately has helped me calm down when anxious at night. I am not even a big cereal eater it's just entertaining and chill.

Anyway any other podcasts I have listened to I've either forgotten, weren't good enough to recommend, just disappeared without any conclusion [*cough* king falls am] or involve way more reservations than I am willing to go into without knowing more about what you are looking for.

[fanfic-inator795]

Thinking about Spacecation again, and while I can see some fans being a bit annoyed with how they 'both-sides' the conflict given that what Cricket did was objectively far worse than what Bill did, I personally feel like the movie did a good job with the conflict's climax and ultimate resolution, making the perspective of both characters clear as well as making both their arcs pretty satisfying imo.

For one, I like how clear it is that Cricket really is doing what he's doing for his family's sake, not just for his own, as right before he goes to Gwendolyn, he sees the ad for the Space Hotel and specifically focuses on the father and son in the ad having fun. That right there just tells me that, for as wrong as Cricket was with his approach, he really was genuine in all his intentions.

Furthermore, given all the crazy stuff that the Greens have faced, I can't really blame Cricket - a ten-year old boy, mind you - for fully believing that his family can handle anything and that space won't be as dangerous as everyone says. It's that little kid mindset of feeling like you're invincible and not really thinking about - hell, not being able to even fully imagine - the worst case scenario until it's staring you in the face.

That's why we see him fully accept without any sort of hesitation that he was in the wrong after the final silo explodes and his family is separated - the impossible just happened, and all the warnings people were trying to give him have finally come to fruition. This is also why we see Cricket be the first to apologize, and be the first one to step up and risk his own life for everyone else's, inspiring Bill to do the same.

Speaking of Bill's side of things, while his choice to do a 'safe and boring' roadtrip wasn't necessarily the worst, his failure came with not trying to compromise their plans any and not bothering to explain to Cricket WHY he felt all Cricket's plans were irresponsible and dangerous. Bill, for as much as I love the guy, was indeed being very dismissive and, even if he didn't want to compromise any on the trip plans themselves (which, yeah, is his right as the parent, even if it's still not the best approach), he still should have had an actual talk with Cricket instead of simply saying "no, these are bad ideas, we're not doing them".

I feel like this was a good lesson for Bill - and any parent, really - to learn, as kids are not mind readers. If they don't fully understand why you're saying no to something, ultimately they're just going to assume that you're only saying no because they're the ones suggesting it - as we see with Cricket when he accuses Bill of not just liking his ideas but not liking him. And yeah, given that in the show Bill can occasionally play favorites without realizing it and even assumes the worst out of Cricket at times, Cricket's accusation doesn't just come out of nowhere.

But of course, that makes Bill's willingness to fully acknowledge what he did wrong all the more heartwarming, as just like with Cricket, the moment he fully realizes what his actions caused, he regrets them fully. Bill loves his boy, and it makes sense that this love would push him into being more flexible and 'reckless' as his prime motivation is to protect his family, no matter what. It kind of reminds me of Chipocalypse Now, where for as much as Bill naturally tends to flee and hide, it's ultimately his kids who motivate him to actually take a risk and fight back. (note how he tells Cricket not to throw himself at things at the start of the film, yet Bill's the one who throws himself into the trash-teroid debris when he has to protect Cricket).

Sorry this got so long and rambly, but while Spacecation maybe isn't the BEST thing that BCGs has ever done (personally I rank it A-tier while stuff like Chipocalypse Now and the two Christmas specials are S-tier), I really admire how it and the conflict within it were ultimately handled, as it really does feel like a natural conclusion to a lot of things the series was building up to as well as an incredibly solid standalone story in its own right.

[rowanthestrange]

i just read the entirety of your Rogue is the Bad Guy essay, and i’ll admit, you’ve convinced me, but not that he’s the Master, but that he’s trying to cosplay the Master cosplaying whoever. Also, it was really long so, like, i’m asking with full concern: are you okay? it just seemed like it took a ridiculous amount of time /lh

What I think is the case, probably 51% the Master. Just squeaks it.

What I want is Chuldur/Pantheon member ‘The’ Rogue cosplaying the Master cosplaying Jack. I’d prefer it by a very large margin. A huge one. But as to whether I think it will happen, I give that 49%. But that’s still good odds.

(I’ve got a lot of Pantheon!Rogue feels, ideas, and desires and have had nowhere else to put them yet, and this is a valid place to share them, rip. And to anyone else who followed the first Essay, let me convince you of my secondary Sub-Thesis in it.)

I’m giving that seemingly crazy high 49% despite the risky complexity of double-layering, because A) that was the Ruby resolution: she cosplayed the bird cosplaying as her - we’ve done it already and everyone got it.

And B)…Is actually complicated literal-meta but hear me out. Since they’re the only other writers this season I think there’s a very high chance they’re forerunners for next showrunners. I know at least one has high level management experience, and if they were given that as a test to do highly complex work to cut their teeth, this would be an incredibly good test that they passed imo. The Master is in themselves hard to write but necessary to fully comprehend because even when not present they are a lynchpin of the show. Here you’d have to write him well. But also effectively set up two twists (that he’s the Master, and then that he’s not he’s just pretending he is). You have to establish a Pantheon member - make an important part of an overarching narrative. And link together with other writers current and past. As well as create a good story with all functioning meta, on multiple levels.

The second you let Rogue be The Bad Guy the complexity of literally everything skyrockets anyway. (And one of the reason I’m a little annoyed that people want to believe he’s so flat - it does the writers a deep disservice to just think they wrote Space Darcy and there’s no shared metaplot there). But while Russell likes a certain amount of simplicity — Occam’s Razor 51% Master — RTD2 has been having fun with more complicated stuff, more prior-knowledge and using that, more thinking needed if you’re going to get the answers early. I think if he was going to give future showrunners something hard to do this would be it. For me Chuldur/Pantheon!Rogue is the pinnacle of that while still being perfectly possible to pull off to casuals without too much brainache. ‘The American accent guys, come on.’

I certainly think they have seeded all they need to, obviously can’t grade without seeing the full execution. And they certainly succeeded in writing ‘the Master’ well. Rewatching that ending? That actually got to me. And I’m a wall. I hated him which is what makes an actually good Master/Master-Proxy - you can neither go too far with that or the character becomes too unenjoyable (Simm!Master), but also too little with the hatred being turned almost entirely into pity (fandom), or even just they’re pretty purely enjoyable (Missy - but she’s an odd duck anyway), also robs them of something essential. This is pitched very well. Test passed on that score.

If my preference and height of percentage seems confusing, to me it makes no difference when talking about them whether he’s the Master or The Rogue perfectly playing the Master. Because if he’s perfectly playing him, as his Pantheon power should presumably allow him to do, it tells us about the Master anyway, so I don’t actually feel any need to differentiate most of the time. Certainly in The Essay it seemed stupid to bog it down with that and risk confusing the people still on ‘but he’s a good guy’ where it wasn’t necessary, because all arguments stay basically the same for a perfect copy. I trusted the reader to apply the level of abstraction themselves for the most part, only coming in with that where I thought something could be particularly relevant/missed in regard to that specifically. Muddying the issue with too repetitiously focusing on ‘remember it called also be a perfect Master cosplay’ and that seemingly complicated (even if I think valid) double-layering didn’t feel like the right call for something where just Rogue Is Playing The Bad Guy was already a hard sell to who I wanted to reach. Ymmv.

The only things that give me pause are that 1: The implication that he’s cloaked seems very high - the earring interference, psychic scents can mask real ones, seeming lack of recognition by allies (until the end I think - they shut up while he’s doing the scene rather than threaten or beg for their lives) etc. The Pantheon seem to have a lot of reality twisting powers. You wouldn’t need to, surely? You’d need to have a reason other than ‘same devices too close’ for that interference which starts the whole thing at minimum and I think ‘he made it happen for the Doctor to come over’ is too cheaty. And 2: The Bag. Why would you need to pack a bag and ensure you have it on you at the end if you can just snap your fingers?

But could be that it actually just contains his dice and he’s a stickler for doing things manually - think of daddy here, rules and ways to do things and following structure while also being creative within those constrictions. Which also very much applies to Dungeon Masters (won’t lie, the ‘Master’ part of that is what eeks it to 51% for just being him). This could come up, it’s feasible.

A Chuldur needing the teleport is also fair of course. And would want the psychic jewellery for the reverse of Ruby - being a Chuldur who needs to smell human to keep the gang on their toes and unsuspecting it’s him.

And there are lots of little things that complement the Pantheon element. We have the dancing scene where the lights dim. We have the fact he’s working with alternate dimension creatures and knows a lot about them. Certainly shows no fear at being sent to an alternate dimension once he’s got what he wanted. We have the American accent. We have him probably having watched Doctor Who like Bridgerton because he’s very familiar with Jack’s introductory episodes with all the references. We have the Vitamin String Quartet’s cover of ‘I’m The Bad Guy’ - Dungeon Masters love making playlists for their scenes, so why wouldn’t he (and also Theme of Music)? Maybe he doesn’t overtly use his powers during The Session because that sort of ugly manipulation of the world is cheap and bad DMing. Daddy liked the Spice Girls, why wouldn’t he like Kylie? He’s a game player like daddy but there’s no winning D&D, especially as DM, which makes an easy natural conflict between them. And we need at least one Pantheon member, cus while I think this is actually just a set-up season for them, there needs to be at least four, really five to truly feel ‘Pantheon’, three would be bare minimum and not enough for when the shit actually starts to go down next season, need at least four by then. I’m assuming we see one: The Writer, or The Audience, or Death or (The Twist At) The End/Grand Finale or whatever else you interpret the oldest one/one who waits to be, in the finale itself.

And this means we get a new (and if Pantheon rather than Chuldur) long-term character. Cosplaying the Master means The Rogue isn’t a copy of them, can just be playing The Bad Guy cus it’s fun right now, but they themselves don’t have to be Master-like, they can be anything. Something new. Anyone who knows me knows I wanted more rogue Time Lords and these guys are like that but with magic powers - what’s not to love? If The Rogue is a Joker, A Wildcard, and they just become a character that fills a void, that’s fascinating. Or they want to create exciting stories whatever that means and become whatever NPCs necessary to drive them on, that’s so interesting. Or they’re guided by being whatever they find cool much like the birds, with all the capricious ‘eh, bored now I’m wrapping this story up’ of a greek god (cus, well.) with all the associated dangers and disregard of these not being characters but people they’re playing with, and also expects there to be no hard feelings after The Session is over and next time it’s a new one. Can they perfectly roleplay a character but still break character if needed, or are they locked in to it until The Session’s done? Do they believe themself to have a ‘real’ personality or is that all fuzzy? Or all of the above. You could go anywhere from standard villain to a full Chaotic Neutral with that. And all the implications you could have of their power being to perfectly roleplay a person. And I use ‘they’ here because surely this is the most genderfluid a character you could get. The Rogue could literally be the red-nailed woman who picked up the gold tooth, think about that. How perfect would that be. Maybe that’s what’s in the bag. Live Tooth Reaction To The Kiss Not Clickbait. A character that could literally be anyone at any time, we would never know peace again. If Susan Twist appearing everywhere is something Pantheony, The Rogue is the inverse of this. Siblings maybe.

And see my Christmas Special pitch. Which is both a joke, but also an example of what fun you could have with The Rogue if you wanted. It doesn’t have to be pure heartbreak and misery Master 2.0. Especially if they are as seems here, a god not just trying to entertain themselves, but also entertain others. D&D requires a group, it’s co-operative, we see Rogue appear to adapt rather than (in any way immediately evident to us at least) externally force the story a certain way like a good DM. He never shoots the birds or threatens to or gets them in actual danger despite the in-character reasons to, and they looked like they all had fun - besides squished beak #5. But also sees NPCs as little more than set dressing as we ourselves would in a D&D game. What a dynamic that could be in a Pantheon god. It’s unique. Which is so valuable. A Chuldur slightly less interesting in that score but still.

If it is the Master I’ll be fine and accept it, but I want this, because it does double duty. It might as well have been a Master episode as it has most of the benefits of one (for me anyway), but also gives us all this new possibility and complexity on top of it. Those options are currently open and I want it.

It’s not popular, but I’m really pro trusting the writers. All of them. They’re smart. And I know these two just seem like randoms, but I doubt they are, they could be our new mothers, and I really think that while the Pantheon Rogue option is complex, it’s viable and has so much scope. If I hate people trying to see Rogue as flat Space Darcy because it shows zero belief in the writers, then I gotta do the opposite and entertain the option that they have intelligently created a deep and complex story, and have taken that to the end of the road. Even if complicated is by nature less likely than simple.

also lol I started The Essay at around 11pm sunday, wrote til gone 4am. Then woke up at 9:30am and wrote solidly plus edits until about 4am, and in-between edited the subtitles into that video. Am I ok? Physically, yes. Mentally, probably not. It is literally 10k and that’s why I made the joke. But I’ve done infinitely worse writing fanfics so...

EDIT:

‘Chuldur/Pantheon member The Rogue cosplaying the Master’ has just flipped into the dominant reading! Alert! Alert! Cus he’d never do this about him literally being the Master. If he’s acknowledging we’re having the feelings we’re intended to have, there’s another twist in it.

I officially move The Rogue Cosplaying The Master to 55% from 49% likelihood, and Rogue Is Just The Master down to 45% from 51%. You may wish to adjust your stock investment accordingly.

[foodsies4me]

February Malec fic rec!

Thanking @kalalab for this month's theme which is enemies to lovers! The same rules still apply, about one fic per author, but all of these authors have other brilliant fics you should be reading and if you want to add your own recs in the comments, tags, or reblogs please feel free to do so! 😊

Also, I have tagged the authors whose Tumblr account I know, but if you'd prefer I not tag you, please tell me so! I don't want these to be annoying for the authors.

One-shots:

Rumor Has It by Lecrit: A human AU which is not something I'm generally a fan of, but Lecrit just writes so well that I gobble this up anyway.

Summary:

Magnus widens his eyes at him, silently asking him to just give him this one. Alec simply curves one of his stupidly perfect eyebrows in response, a simple gesture that carries the weight of a call for challenge. “Looks like you’re gonna have to postpone your wedding for now,” Maia giggles next to him. Magnus huffs, flexing his jaw. “Oh, it’s on, Lightwood,” he mouths at him.

Also, because I suck at keeping to my own rules, I'm adding a second fic rec that I maybe love just as much by Lecrit aka the way to a chef's heart. But, in my defense, both fics are great and one is about cooking and baking. I am weak when it comes to food, okay?

Anyway, summary:

After a scorching review on his restaurant in one of the world's most famous food magazines, world class chef Magnus Bane is set on finding the food critic who dared to slander his art and make him change his mind. He doesn't expect someone as stubborn or infuriating as Alec Lightwood

you're the light that i won't let go by oh-la-fraise: Another human AU as well as an Enemies to Lovers with a twist.

Summary:

There were three unspoken rules to the Manhattan Institute of Higher Learning, New York’s premier private K-12 school: 1) Respect that the space under the football bleachers was for sex, and only for sex. 2) Don’t eat the cafeteria meatloaf. 3) Never mention Mr. Bane to Mr. Lightwood or vice versa, unless you wanted the whole class to get extra homework.

careless curses by @alexanderlightweight: I don't know what to say that isn't already stated in the summary except I love it when alexanderlightweight writes dark themes. (Or just writes in general).

Summary:

The Lightwood family has been cursed by death for generations and now, Alec lives with death hovering over him. Sometimes life is the curse and death the reward.

Ten Not-Dates That Magnus Bane Spends Falling In Love with Alec Lightwood by Aria_Lerendeair: Magnus is hilariously done at the start of this fic.

Summary:

Magnus was going to have words with the Clave. They would be decidedly unpleasant words, and they might be accompanied by a few very pointed magic blasts and maybe even curses.  They deserved it. Another Lightwood in charge of the New York Institute?

Multi-chapter fics or series:

All the Costs are Even by tsujiharu: A fic that deserves more love imo, is this Pride and Prejudice retelling. Also, I'm just now realizing that most of these are Human AU's despite me being notorious for generally not liking them, lol.

Summary:

A modern day Pride and Prejudice AU, in which a disgruntled lawyer and an aloof entrepreneur can't seem to get over their pride (and prejudices?) and admit their very obvious attraction to each other.

love is a four-letter word by @la-muerta: Do la-muerta fics need to be recced? Probably not because I suspect most people have read them. Am I still going to to rec them because I love them? Yes! So here is another lovely human AU fic where first impressions maybe aren't what they seem.

Summary:

Magnus knows he's one of the best editors in the business. So when the bigoted director of the publishing house he works for gives their grandson's best friend the promotion Magnus deserved to get, he decides that it's the last straw. Magnus intends to go out with a bang and take his new boss down with him — but he didn't mean for it to happen quite so literally.

Crush On You by @gospi: A FTH fic of 2023 that had me laughing at how salty Alec is about crushing on Magnus. A lot of fun.

Summary:

An ancient, unsuccessful recipe for starting new relationshipsalliances: A dash of rumors. A sprinkle of heritage. A smidgen of jealousy. A dollop of chaotic disasters. A shitload of assumptions. Let it simmer. Enjoy!

My True Love Gave To Me by AlxSteele: Christmas repeats itself endlessly for Magnus and while it's annoying he does end up learning a new side from the awful baked Alec Lightwood. Surprise, he isn't all that awful.

Summary:

Magnus Bane had a plan, a perfect Christmas Eve just like always. Hang out with his friends, bask in the Christmas Spirit. Then everything went wrong. Now he's stuck reliving the same day again and again and again. The bright side? Maybe Alec Lightwood isn't as terrible as Magnus always thought.

A fic that I am sure most people have already read because it is wonderful (which is the reason why I didn't add it last month even though it's a wing fic) is Fall Without Wings by @notcrypticbutcoy. It's a brilliant fic that's all.

Summary:

Or: In which the Nephilim have wings, are taught to loathe Downworlders, and Alec is presented with a conundrum when Magnus Bane saves his life.

[moonyinpisces]

Hi! I finally read HDWTOTL after seeing the cover art submissions on my dash for days. I won’t be emotionally the same ever again. Thank you, genuinely. But anyway, I was wondering if I could get some general writing advice?

I haven’t ever finished a story, and my problem is this: I can’t propel it forward. I have ideas for the beginning or middle of a story, but they’re just vague, disconnected scenes or emotions. I can never bring it to an end. And I can’t seem to bring people from location to location in a way that doesn’t feel very awkward.

Sometimes I look back at the writing I’ve done in a day and I realize it’s nearly all dialogue. Is this just my sign to be a screenwriter?

Or is there another angle to telling a story I’m not seeing?

How does one go from being a shit storyteller to a good one?

Thank you❤️

oh my gosh, thank you for reading hdwtotl and reaching out!! and yes, i can absolutely help you out, i'll throw my thoughts + advice down under the cut <3

i've always struggled with exactly what you're describing until relatively recently. i could get the barebone structure of a story down (beginning, end, vague plot points, dialogue-only scenes, etc.) luckily you mentioned you have disconnected emotions as one of the building blocks, which is, imo the most important thing you can have as a writer.

all that writing is is having an emotion and using all the tools in your arsenal to make someone else experience that same emotion.

that's all it is. what you're describing re: pacing and progression are all valid concerns, but i think you should remove that from the equation for now and just focus on what certain plot ideas make you feel, and how to evoke that feeling in others. personally, i struggle with properly explaining myself UNLESS i'm writing fiction. like, i can't tell you what i'm feeling, but i can make you feel the same way, and in the end we're now on the same wavelength. i don't think that's THE way to write, but it's the way i approach it and i couldn't do it any other way.

as to how to grow/push past what you're specifically struggling with: i think what helped me the most to develop myself as a writer is write the world around you. if you saw a sunset over farm hills in late october, how would you describe that to depict the feeling it evoked in you? the chilliness, perhaps spookiness, the beauty WITH the context that it's ushering in darkness, the dying plants, the cows huddling for warmth, the sound of a passing train. both the material and the immaterial work together in tandem in fiction -- what does the narrator sense from both? do that until it becomes second nature; if i see something incredible irl, you best believe my mental typewriter is going nuts. (the bentley scene in chapter 11 of hdwtotl had existed in my brain for MONTHS sentence-by-sentence WITH paragraph breaks before i finally got it down lol)

so if i were you, that's what i'd work on first before trying to bring it bigger picture with a beginning-middle-end as i think your pacing will naturally develop from it as well. what do you see, how do you feel, and how can the reader come away with both of those things without having been where you are themselves. also single scene oneshots to get in some practice translating that to fictional spaces.

good luck, i hope you break past this!! we need more storytellers out there

[ambrosiagourmet]

mx. glitz have you seen this. (@ atissi here) /post/744351681315291136/hadnt-seen-anyone-post-the-full-comic-about-laios

i feel like chewing on dry concrete. the toudens......

Post link: atissi.tumblr.com/post/744351681315291136/hadnt-seen-anyone-post-the-full-comic-about-laios

I haaave, and I honestly have like some very complicated feelings about this one, which is part of why I haven't talked about it here.....

In general I very much dislike the tendency for media (and culture at large, at least the culture I'm familiar with) to push reconciliation as the main, or sometimes ONLY happy ending for people estranged from their family. Which isn't exactly what this comic is doing, buuuut... it IS very in line with a sort of like "well you don't understand, your parents had complex reasons, you should forgive them, etc," especially when paired with the fact that it's noted in Falin's bio that she hopes Laios and her parents will reconcile.

With a little more space I've been more able to take this comic as something very anchored in Falin's perspective, rather than necessarily an objective declaration that the Touden Parents Were Right, Actually. Which also was a little hard, honestly, because A) I kind of like to imagine that in post-canon, Falin would be a little less likely to dismiss her own pain in favor of empathizing with others, and B) its kinda shitty to Laios to frame things this way, imo?

Or like... it's one thing for her to have a different perspective on her parents, but framing it as like a "Laios misunderstood" thing, especially in context of her explicitly wanting him to get back in contact with them... eugh. Girl, he is allowed to have his own feelings on the matter and make his own choices. Downplaying his trauma in order to empathize with your parents (who were ADULTS in this situation, while both you and your brother were kids) is not a neutral action.

ANYWAY that all being said... I do find it kind of believable that she might still be caught up in some messiness with all this. Navigating trauma and parents and estrangement is already hard enough on its own, and adding in a sibling - who has different needs and different coping mechanisms - doesn't make things any easier. I hope she can sit down with Laios at some point and actually talk things out.

Also I hope she can give herself a little more space to like. Acknowledge that some shit happened, even if she can empathize with her parents here?? Like... even if you can understand sympathetic reasons for them to have done what they did... they still did that. Her father still failed to communicate with her or Laios. Her mother still lowkey assaulted her. Reasons aren't the only things that matter, especially when it comes to a parent's treatment of their kid. The actions they took were still harmful, and I think that it's important for Falin to have space to acknowledge that. Honestly, if she's anything like me, its gonna hit her like a TRUCK someday, once she finally has the space and safety to sit down and work through things.

Above all else though, this comic definitely gets one thing EXTREMELY right in my book: Marcille is fucking ready to throw down with the Touden parents and give them the lecture of their lives, as is her friend-realizing-the-shit-her-friend's-parents-did given right. o7 Marcille, go with my blessing.

[the1975attheirverybest]

how do you feel about the “celebrity blockout” thing going on right now in support of palestine?

i was thinking about that along with the fact macklemore put out a pro-palestine song (with all proceeds going to help Palestinians.) and how i wish matty/the band were brave enough to do something like that, even releasing a demo or two of an older song on bandcamp for palestine relief funds. i just can’t believe macklemore of all people is more politically active than matty healy lol. crazy timeline we live in, but then again i guess his gf also posted a starbucks ad and has been deleting/censoring palestine comments. i wish the band would go a kinda clairo route where they raise money for relief fund or put up songs on band camp.

It’s complicated imo and a bit difficult to navigate, right?

Like, there’s people like Amy Schumer, whom I personally blocked after she posted that shit about all Muslims being rapists. Then there are celebs like Kim Kardashian who was like “free everyone!” 😭 then there are those who don’t say anything at all.

I’ve said it before, but, I honestly don’t think EVERYONE should speak out. Like I could’ve done without Kim Kardashian’s chirping. Reality tv stars, influencers, models, etc. I don’t care about as much.

But artists are important and they SHOULD speak out. Especially artists who claim to “signpost towards utopia.” Who say “we’re rubbish at protest music as a society.” Who write “stop fucking with the kids.” Who say “punk has departed all left leaning spaces.” Art is the tool of resistance and of rebellion. And this moment calls for resistance and rebellion. where are the artists?

It’s truly a sorry state of the world when Macklemore gets the title of “most Rage Against The Machine thing to happen since Rage Against The Machine.” In a world where the fuckin 1975 are alive and well!!!!

With everyday that goes by, especially with the student protests….this is the kind of thing that matty talks about all the time! The fact that he’s quiet on it is beyond disappointing. History won’t forget. In 10, 20, 50 years, we’ll look back and see who was doing the right thing even when it was difficult, and who wasn’t. His heroes and idols (Brian Eno, System Of a Down, Cold Play etc) have all spoken out. And he hasn’t. His name is not alongside theirs. As a 1975 fan, that’s never been something that I ever imagined happening. It’s genocide. But Matty’s made his choice. I hope he’s happy with it.

[swordatsunset]

left my phone on the desk and i dont feel like getting up to text u so it comes in the ask box instead but basically i have a larger problem with current d20 in this way of like. ok i think fhsy was an anomaly in terms of the way d20 was done; it was only one play session per week, and there was time to see the (small fandom) response in between episodes and marinate on plot beats and such. the way d20 is done now (and has been for a good while) is that they pump out a ton of it in a short span (the rpdr problem. girl i dont need another season the last one JUST ended) & it has become largely formulaic.

d20 was never truly pushing the boundaries of actual play and has had problems since its conception -- problems that largely were ignored bc they were noobs, the fandom was new, and the collegehumor->dropout transition was new.

when we now get an intrepid heroes season its essentially fan service. as much as i love TUC (tho i have a lot to criticize abt TUC) and the original FH hit a lot of notes for me, there's just simply better actual play out there that isnt swallowing the wotc boot and are filled with new voices who are choosing to be in the space to very little return...

i enjoy dropout. i miss the scripted content a lot, and i enjoy game changer and the occasional um actually. i think falling victim to nostalgia is not always a good thing, and i try to be critical of the ways in which i think of certain media as "the good ol' days".....i think d20 can take a lot of lessons from other actual play media tho. and while i dont hate everything thats come out in the past year from them, i dont love it either, and thats fine. theres a lot of (looks up at the wall of text) WHOA. ok i think you get the point. (this is the point at which i added paragraph breaks)

Hi Sroel!!!! Hmmmm well I dunno while I agree with you on some points I don't feel like this is a d20-wide problem inasmuch as it is a d20 main cast problem; I say that because the non-main cast episodes are much less formulaic since they generally have varying episode lengths/different play systems/different styles of episodes that aren't story-battle. That plus the fact that they're filled with different cast members makes it so that any criticism of those seasons are going to be pretty divorced from my criticism of main cast seasons which are the quote unquote flagship seasons tbh.

And I would say that like, I don't think d20 was ever trying to market itself as revolutionary as much as fans began to approach them that way. The way I remember it is d20 was pitched as comedians telling 'shorter form' actual play stories. Different in the actual play landscape, yes, but not revolutionary imo! My problems w d20/the main cast aren't really affected by their place in the wider, like, actual play landscape since I think there's a pretty big diversity of stories being told in d20 and dropout as a whole. If it was marketing itself as a singular campaign I think things would be different, but the fact that I can pick up and put down different shows makes me feels like criticisms of it should be more specific to specific shows if that makes sense.

I guess most of my problems with d20 are aimed at a different place than yours, which is totally fine! I think my problems come down to a case by case(cast by cast?) basis more than any overarching problems with d20 the 'franchise' since I haven't seen much that's formulaic in the way that main cast d20 sort of 'has' to be. And I do think a lot of that is because of the fans more than anything, as well as the way playing with the same people makes you stagnate!

[raven]

i get & kind of agree with your point, i guess i'm just looking at the bigger issue as a whole. i do think in a lot of cases it's super feasible to just. play something else. or to wait until you can afford to upgrade your pc, etc. but i think the trend in the gaming sphere (esp triple A titles) of not caring for optimization and expecting consumers to just keep up is a little concerning for the future of gaming. i think gaming is already something that's inaccessible to a lot of people for inescapable reasons (required internet access for most games now, having to purchase consoles or a pc isn't cheap, etc.) and with with the way optimization is becoming more scarce i think it's leading to a future where new releases will be entirely unreachable for a large portion of the community which is an issue that should not exist. if 60% of your target audience can't afford to play your game, what's the point?

yeah definitely. &i did somewhat feel this with the new dragon age, there were so many just.. pointless visual effects on the screen, most of which i couldnt turn off, and i couldnt help but think "would this game run better if it didnt have these...?" while style is important, i do think game studios should be focusing more on WHY you need a game to be in a certain visual style. why do you need certain filters etc. veilguard didnt even look good, imo, so whats the point... But also like. games are for two types of people: people with powerful computers, who care about their computers being top of the line and able to run anything, updating whenever they can and people who will buy a new console every console generation, because games are pretty much guaranteed to work on the latest consoles. and unfortunately if you are not a rich pc gamer or a slightly less rich console gamer, you might not be playing the big hits. but like, thats why you get a console, so you can play without needing to worry about an upgrade for several years. Idk. ive never had a console and i just play what i can play. but there are a lot of people out there with consoles. and it seems to be going fine for them, bc if games dont run on consoles theyre promised on, theres usually patches and more work done. I also dont really care about the AAA audience or studios and if the studios go under... Thats not my problem i dont really care if they live or die. Maybe the world would be better off without call of duty,? If gaming companies are fucking us over with optimization, theyre fucking themselves over, and if they have to shut down.. well that's on them. I have other games to play. (& like, when i say innovation in triple A games.. you know whats the kinda shit im talking about its game awards shit its not call of duty its like, god of war, red deaddedemption, death stranding (...2!), elden ring, baldurs gate 3 (not really triple a, but the reach and success can make it feel like one). (Im not personally interested in all of these, but im interested in what they have done for the medium.) of these games that have released, theyve had issues and most have been fixed. And most of them have done things worthy of discussion, even if they take up a lot of space and people like to complain about that. We can only hope interesting games arent dead on arrival because of poor optimization, but it seems most of them havent been.

[waxdream]

I think in this world, acknowledged and unacknowledged traumas are a key way of dividing us. Someone with a debilitating fear of spiders for example, is going to be dismissed as childish by at least a portion of society, even if their phobia forces them to stay inside, hyperfixated on erradicating all spiders in their space. And yknow, that person may not be depressed, they may not have anything else other than their phobia, but their phobia is disabling. And they go online and see people validating those with disabling depression, and I just think that when something engulfs your life so largely, it's hard not to take that as 'the world doesn't care about my phobia. They just care about depression'.

I've battled with this feeling a lot thoughout my life. I've thought 'noone cares about adoptees', and I just didn't understand why. I remember my school doing an assembly on Autism, and all I could think of was 'well, there's more adopted people than there are autistic people, why aren't we doing that assembly?!' . I tried to make that assembly happen, and was told no because the school had an adoptee who didn't know they were an adoptee. Fucking disgusting behaviour, imo, limiting the education of an entire school because some adoptive parents didn't want to have an uncomfortable conversation. I could have done some good there, I could have taught people what the school refused to teach. The only mention I ever heard of adoption in that school was in health class, where they said 'some people in the UK choose to put their children up for adoption. This is very uncommon'. I felt gross hearing that. That school spent hour long lessons on how to clean your teeth, yet can't even acknowledge that adoptees grow up and sit in your classroom.

It's a kind of outrage you feel, like you're being snubbed in favour of another cause. It's jealousy - I know I feel jealous of people with traumas that are talked about, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. Jealousy is only ugly when you act on it. Feeling it means you're human. But in the real world, I gotta know that it's not the fault of other communities, it's noone's fault other than a society that likes to sweep adoption under the rug.

Recently I feel like the transracial adoptee movement has hit the mainstream, and I see people talking about it as if interracial adoptees don't exist. So I'm going to say that I think being adopted by someone who is the same race as you is an unacknowledged trauma. I think people dismiss our adoptions and pretend we look like our adoptive families. I think our adoptive families get away with pretending we are birth children, which lets our history fester in it's wake. I think not being told about our adoptions is a disgusting thing, and it happens because adoptive parents think 'oh, we can get away with not telling our kid they're adopted, they won't guess otherwise'. I think that even adoptees who aren't told about their adoption are adoptees, and I know they feel the same level of pain as I do. I think interracial adoptees are commercialised and objectified.

I think 'matching a child to the adoptive parent' is not always in the childs best interest. I was put in fostercare at 2 weeks old, and I stayed in it for 2 years because the UK system didn't want my foster carers to adopt me. They wanted to 'match' me to someone else. My parents were considered too old, this being part of the same ruleset that prevented transracial adoption in the UK in the early 2000s. I was desireable as a newborn. People want to adopt newborns. I think if they succeeded in taking me away from my adoptive parents, I would have been trapped in the fostercare system - two year olds are less desireable after all. I have trauma from feeling objectified because of this knowledge. I think anyone would, if they know money was spent, lots of money in court fees and all that, to take me specifically away from my family. And that's a trauma created by the idea that 'every adoption should be a perfect match'. That's why I think the adoptee community needs to come together as adoptees and be a group of it's own, because otherwise we create an artificial divide of people. I think 'adoption should be a perfect match' as an ideology is unrealistic. Sometimes it's just as important that a baby stay with their first match for example, to prevent further trauma. The UK adoption system almost bankrupted a working class family of fostercarers because they felt that it was more important for my adoptive parents to be a young, rich couple. A family of fostercarers who dared to do exactly what a fostercarers is meant to do - love their child unconditionally, to the point that they wanted to stop fostercaring and adopt me. And even though my folks are older, and don't understand autism or any of the stuff that makes me different from them, I still think this is the perfect place for me.

So yknow, I have different experiences to a transracial adoptee. I think mine are less blatantly obvious, because racism is pervasive in this world and disgusting. It makes sense to me why the plight of transracial adoptees is so loud and important. Hell, even your word is being stolen by the 'trans race' community that's trying to essentially cosplay as other races. I also think the adoptee community should be more united - and we should listen to each other, and work as a team. Because Jealousy is a human emotion, I think we're all projecting and feeling jealous of each other, when in reality, we're all jealous of folks who aren't adopted. And that's okay friend. Jealousy is okay. Taking actions based on jealousy isn't, but the feeling? It's okay. I'm jealous of folks who have something they can point to and say 'that's the root of all my problems', because I don't think I have that. Doesn't mean I'm gonna be a dick about it, and it also doesn't mean my feelings reflect reality. Just like how the idealised idea of interracial adoption doesn't reflect reality. It's two different sides of the same coin, like many things in the adoption world. I think the true path to change is changing the views and mentality of those who aren't adopted. Because they just. Don't. Get. It.

[rainbowdaisy13]

I want to pull my hair out when I see people spewing this performance art bullshit. No, you don't get to play games with the LGBTQ community, use their flagging, say you want people to read your lyrics and appreciate your art, only to bring the hate of the conservatives on them, just to come out and say 'it was all performance art.' Get fucked if that's the plan.

People were doxxed and outed during bettygate, people who were ready to accept her and her art and smooth the landing in case of a coming out. People who don't suck the dick of Trump supporters to afford bodyguards for protection, then claim they're scared. She straight washed our history, hid behind a man and didn't even have the decency to say "I want all my fans to feel safe analyzing my songs the way they want to, don't go after anybody for that". At the Rep secret sessions she told teenagers to go after people who say Rep is about anyone but Joe. Those kids were viciously homophobic online and she did that to them. I don't blame them, they were young and manipulated by an grown ass adult into homphobia.

The queer community are not pawns to play with. I know you show your identity on here Rainbow but be careful. The way she's been moving, makes me almost certain that if she comes out, she'll try to say Gaylors left her no choice. Her not speaking against that CNN article, co opting Chely to back the article (after her wife supported it) and say people who recognize these queer flags for Taylor are disgusting, cemented that for me. She planted the seeds that Gaylors are disgusting and are pushing her out of the closet by recognizing our queer history in her art. Two people from CNN liked tweets confirming the article came from Taylor's camp and not Travis'. If she comes out, she'll blame it on Gaylors to maintain her victim complex and gain sympathy with her conservative audience. Mark my word on this. People should be very careful with attaching their real identities to the Gaylor community. Keep yourselves safe! She will throw you under the bus in the worst possible way soon enough. Stay private.

Look there’s a lot here I agree with and some that I don’t

She’s always felt ok throwing Gaylors/Kaylors under the bus while continuing to actively be super gay just being herself, using historically queer terminology in her lyrics, and continuing up to this very month making references to very public well documented pieces of Kaylor history—this is not a new phenomenon, she’s done it time and time again since I joined this space in 2017

I have no clue about what shes said to fans during SS and we should take anything word of mouth like that with a grain of salt. People did actively get doxxed and outed during Bettygate and during other points in time—that is true

As far as using Gaylors as the excuse of why she had to come out…..that would be a really weird ass ploy to use in the year of our lord 2024 and beyond IMO. It’s not gonna make her look good in the eyes of the queer community to blame her queer fans vs the patriarchal racist homophobic society who forced her to closet to begin with

You should absolutely protect yourself in the ways you feel comfortable online, but I will never encourage any actions based solely on fear. I myself am at a place in my life where I think it’s important to be real about who I am and what I believe. I know not everyone is able to do that and that’s ok—but some of us need to lead the conversations from points of truth aka as our real life selves to make it acceptable for everyone to eventually be able to do so

[sanctity-in-sexuality]

What do you think about a couple going into a marriage with the intent to immediately start practicing NFP? My boyfriend and I have been discussing our future plans and considered the idea of delaying the first child for maybe about a year or so in order to have time to focus on getting settled into a new home/anticipated career changes and to build a strong financial foundation. We would absolutely be open to life and so NFP wouldn't be something to be anal over; even if we conceived a child immediately upon getting married, we would be eager and capable of supporting them, but we just thought that it may be wise to wait a little because life would be very hectic with lots of major changes at once if that happened. We know one couple who has done this exact plan and the husband reports that it worked perfectly for them. But we also have a trusted unmarried friend who strongly advised that starting off a marriage on NFP isn't great because you'd ideally don't want to be "holding back" anything once you get married, and that NFP should be the exception rather than the rule. We talked to our priest as well and he said that while there's nothing wrong with it in that you wouldn't incur sin, he also agreed that there's significant merit in NOT starting off on that note. We are not insistent on the idea to begin with and are both very open to this perspective as well, but I'm curious to hear more people's thoughts on this, especially from married persons. Thank you!

Hello,

The priest has the right idea. Your reasons can be prudential and justified, but it is turning down a potential opportunity for sanctification that might benefit you in other ways. Imo, this is a situation in which there is an objectively best option, and then an inferior but still acceptable option that might be subjectively best for your current state in life.

My husband and I actually did something very similar to what you described. We got married shortly after graduating college and agreed that we would like to avoid pregnancy for the first year-ish in order to create a good, solid foundation of marriage before bringing kids into the picture. Namely, both of us settling into our first professional jobs, building good habits together, learning how to balance marriage with post-college adult life, and establishing a Catholic community in a new city so that we wouldn't become isolated once we had a baby. It worked out well for us. (Unfortunately, we did end up having to wait an additional year for unrelated health reasons).

Now, having a baby right away within our first year would be a kind of trial by fire that would have afforded enormous opportunity to grow together spiritually and test our trust in God, and perhaps objectively this would be best. However, we didn't feel like we were in the right space spiritually or mentally at that time to handle that level of challenge in a healthy manner, so avoiding was subjectively the better option for us until we felt better equipped. This was after a lot of careful thought and discussion.

Deciding whether to avoid or conceive requires prudence and should rarely be an easily-made decision. If you ultimately decide that is better for your family to wait initially, as you have outlined, my main advice to do so healthily is to revisit the decision with every cycle, and do not let it become the assumed "default". If you decide to avoid, it should be for the overall well-being of the whole family (e.g. not just so you can go on extra vacations). Avoiding conception specifically should feel at least a little bit like a personal sacrifice - denying something you desire (a child) for the time being in the name of overall family well-being. And you should be actively working to fix/overcome the obstacles that are proving a justifiable impediment (e.g. seeking counseling for mental health).

So long as you are open to life should it come unexpectedly, fully intend to have children, and are actively working to make that possible under prudent circumstances, you are fine.

God bless!

[thedreadvampy]

I had a conversation on Friday night that's really got me mad about some stuff but I have tried to gently bring this kind of thing up directly and it never goes well but I am gonna vent it here for when I start feeling like I'm going insane/being a bitch.

this is anarchist infighting babes xoxoxo

Why are people who grew up rich Like That?

Now I to some degree include myself in the category of People Who Grew Up Rich. I had some shit in my youth but one struggle I never had was being a child in a financially precarious home. I never worried about going hungry. I never was at any risk of homelessness. Have I been homeless, hungry and otherwise precarious since then? Yes, but I have a baseline of knowing what security feels like, and I have a network of people who do have money to fall back on. And I have the confidence and education and class-specific social knowledge that comes with that so even if I'm poor I'm still middle class socially.

Both based on observation and statistics, I think it's pretty clear that economic precarity in childhood is one of the most potent single things that impact your lifelong wellbeing. Being precarious as an adult is traumatic and miserable and awful but it isn't the same as having precarity as your baseline state.

However there's a certain ahhhhhh subset of Anarchists From Upper Middle Class Backgrounds who might recognise that intellectually but who act. As if being from a wealthy background is irrelevant to their current life. And it's not.

Like ok this is where I get bitchy. But moving in anarchist and activity circles see how there's often people who seem to be counting up traumas and operations they face specifically as a reason why you should listen to them? and they often seem to count "childhood trauma" and "childhood trauma and precarity" as the same single point? like "oh you had a bad childhood I had a bad childhood we've both been there."

but no! no we haven't both been there! they're not the same experience! childhood poverty is its own enormous and far-reaching trauma, and it not only doesn't lessen the impact of traumas that can happen to anyone (eg CSA, DV, parental addiction, loss of a loved one), it lessens the space people have to deal with those traumas, both emotionally and practically.

And that's not to say If You're Middle Class You Have No Problems because obviously you do. like. I didn't deal with financial precarity in my childhood and adolescence but I did deal with a lot of instability, violence and abuse throughout. and that's significant and worth giving space to. but like many of my friends were dealing with similar stuff at a similar age AND with the far-reaching trauma of poverty (and other systemic traumas like racism and xenophobia)

and like it's not productive or helpful imo to start the Who Suffered Most competition interpersonally. trauma-as-currency is a plague.

buuuut. with the types of person I'm thinking about THEY'LL be the ones implicitly or explicitly bringing it up, either in a "you have to be nice to me bc I've experienced XYZ" way or, even more obnoxiously, an "I own and know the most about X bc I experienced XYZ". Like this sense of ownership and this idea that your experience of X is everyone's experience of X seems to me to most often come from usually white but always upper middle class activists, who are maybe poor now but were very financially stable growing up.

It gives you. A certain confidence. Growing up rich or well-off. And that can be really useful - definitely sometimes the people most able to just bulldoze through beaurocracy and Get It Done in confronting authority are these folks bc a gift and a curse of being raised in classes higher up the ladder is a lessened fear of authority, an assumption of your own rights and knowledge, and a certain self-assurance. even if you're also a neurotic mess personally, idk how to describe it but I'm positive you've seen it - an upper class upbringing brings with it a type of confidence that's almost entirely separate from who you are as a person, it's like an aura, it's baked into you like your accent. it's a specific texture of entitlement and self-assurance and it can be REALLY USEFUL but it can also be. really really really damaging.

When you grow up rich, however bad shit is at home or in your life, you are taught to understand certain things as your right - you expect to be worth listening to (at least by anyone not more powerful than you), you expect to know what you're talking about, and you expect your life to be valued by others (if not by everyone or by yourself, but by strangers).

You can shake it consciously, and it can be knocked around and come into conflict with other trauma, but it sticks with you when you're born into power - when you're raised rich (or white, or a man, or not overtly disabled). It follows you through poverty and trauma - it's baked in early on. and that's not in and of itself a bad thing, it's just a Thing - class affects your behaviour and self-image, like most systemic social constructs. And again it doesn't mean your struggles are less real - your trauma is still traumatic, your anxiety and self-esteem are still fucked up - but it does affect power dynamics.

People who are raised rich are more sure of ourselves, and almost always more immediately able to assert ourselves, our ideas and our wants than we would be if we had grown up poor. And we kind of need to be aware of that because otherwise what happens a lot of the time is a domination of space, and a dismissal of other people's knowledge and experiences because they're less assertive about them than us.

and I'm so fucking sick of it because what it super often looks like is a combination of people going "I have to get what I want because praxis because radical self-care because I'm saaaaaad. You can't tell me no or tell me off because I'm struggling" and going "We have to do what I want because I'm right. Because I have the most knowledge and experience of this thing and I know you've experienced it too but you're wrong about what you experienced."

like (and here's where I've got SURE gone bitchy) there's this really common Type of anarchist who's super involved and super activisty and also their trauma is always the biggest trauma. their ideas are always the only ideas. anything they did that hurt others was justified by their mental illness or stress or lack of knowledge and anything others did that hurt them was twice as bad because of the fact they're So Marginalised. they need people to go easy out of their comfort zone to help them because things are So Hard but they can't offer help that's inconvenient to them because things are So Hard. They're in charge of every protest and they decide who's allowed to protest because they're allowed to Protect Their Boundaries. When someone crosses their unspoken boundaries it is unforgivable but when they repeatedly willfully ignore other people's boundaries it's because they weren't clearly stated enough.

and the thing I'm saying is. the thing I have noticed about this specific type of Anarchist Guy. is in my experience they're literally always from a wealthy background. they may be utterly fucked for cash and homeless now, and that's a real experience they have every right to be scared and vulnerable about and speak to, but they have always had a childhood and adolescence where money wasn't a concern.

poverty is always a traumatic and marginalising experience. but you don't forget the assurance and entitlement you learn if you're raised rich. becoming poor isn't the same as being raised poor. the default assumptions of what's possible and your own importance are different.

and a) I think we need to be really mindful and self-aware about the types of confidence and self-assurance that we might have got from childhood and adolescent privilege, even if we don't have it now. and also b) I fucking hate when people are That Guy and I have like 6 That Guys in my social circle right now and it drives me insane bc it's utterly impossible to get through to them about it bc ppl end up in such denial of the ways being financially stable as a child produces privilege over those who don't.

like I am thinking of a friend (private school, Oxbridge, academia, family own their home, clearly bad but financially well off childhood) who explicitly and repeatedly believes themselves to have meaningfully the same background (or maybe Worse Trauma) as people who were financially supporting their families from 14, people who spent their childhoods seriously housing insecure and spreading food out across the month, and people who grew up in social housing with a disabled single parent. IT'S NOT THE SAME.

I know it's not the same, and while we're both posh I'm WAY less posh than this friend, but that matters a LOT less than that I'm way MORE posh than any of the other people I mentioned and that does affect things! I don't have the experience of precarity! My mum was a very frugal and money-conscious parent but we had the money, even if we weren't spending it, in a crisis it was there! We were never going to become homeless as a family. We were never going to starve. If things were unsurvivable as they were - ceiling falls in, black mould, boiler broken - we could fix it! Our experiences of childhood instability, mine and this friend's, are of relational emotional and physical lack of safety - people around us cause us harm or can't be trusted or need looking after. But the other friends have that plus the emotional, physical and existential lack of safety that is poverty. That's not the same! It's not at all the same background!

and sometimes it's like. the flipside to class reductionism is class erasure. They think we're from the same background as the people who grew up poor bc we're white, we're queer, we're neurodivergent, we're trauma survivors, we're afab, we're whatever else. but stuff like poverty, lack of educational opportunity, social exclusion on the basis of class - those things just don't register. They're unknown knowns - they're the stuff that we take for granted, we tend to assume everyone who's like us in terms of race, gender and ability was basically financially stable in childhood, finished school and went to university, is treated as we're treated by police and authorities, etc.

Writ large, what this looks like is politicians claiming that £82k a year is basically poverty and genuinely making policy on the belief that when people say they're poor it means "can't afford to do everything I want" not "can't afford to live"

But writ small, what this means is that often the loudest voices leading communities of people who've Been Through It - the people who get their way - are people who think that their experience as raised-rich is exactly the same as the experience of the raised-poor. At worst we get Common People cosplayers who you never find out actually have a trust fund and an allowance but even before that. like.

Anarchist spaces, both organising and social spaces, are full of people who are legit struggling, who say at the good words and think all the good things, but who are fundamentally so entirely blind to the power that a middle class upbringing (particularly but not exclusively a white middle class upbringing) has given them that they just plough right through other people bc they assume they're on an even keel. The assumptions we make about people's confidence and assertion based on what's normal for us often takes a really familiar shape where one person's needs consistently take precedence over anyone else's.

and like. All of us deserve to have our needs met. Your needs aren't less important because you're middle class, or white, or straight, or cis, or male, or whatever else. The problem is when it's always one person's needs and never the people around them.

when somebody who's used to having a safety net falls down, people who are used to having to buckle down and do the impossible bc nobody else will pick them up, will pick them up. when somebody else falls down, people who are used to having a safety net see that picking them up is impossible and don't because they haven't got the experience of Having To Do The Impossible. when somebody who's comfortable asserting their needs assumes that all needs are vocally asserted, people who are used to subsuming their needs, not talking about them and dealing with them solo do not get their needs met. and when this carries on consistently across multiple relationships and multiple years, we got a problem.

And specifically part of the problem I think in anarchist circles is that born-wealthy anarchists are a lot more likely to be heavily socialising with born-poor friends, whereas if you buy into the class system you are likely to mostly hang out with other people who ARE actually from a similar economic background and so ARE likely to assert themselves in the same way you assert yourself.

This is why it's so important to not leave abolitionist relationships with power structures at rejecting or refusing them. As much as we should abolish class, racial, gender etc hierarchies, we have to engage with the world as it is. We can't just divest ourselves of hierarchies by wanting to - we have to actually engage and keep engaging with the ways that hierarchy continues to exist inside us. However poor I am, I still was raised middle class. However antiracist I am, I am still white. However aware of gender I am, I am still cis. That's going to affect the relationships I have with people who have different experiences.

but too many middle class anarchists imk talk a big game about class solidarity but ultimately consider themselves working class by choice. but you can't choose how you're raised. and ignoring the privilege of financial stability in childhood leaves you with enormous blind spots on how you treat others and how you recreate those power dynamics.

doesn't mean middle class people can't or shouldn't be anarchists. lots of us are. but for the love of fuck we need to make sure we're aware of the huge and lasting impact that different childhood economic experiences have on who we are as adults. even if we're down and out now, socially we remain middle class. and that gives us power beyond how we're seen - it's a power in how we act and how comfortable we are asserting ourselves over others.

and I'm so fucking sick of seeing it tbh. and I'm so sick of how shitty it makes a lot of friend group dynamics where a few culturally middle class people dominate every decision and take precedence in every discussion of need.

[tonydaddingham]

I'm going to preface this by saying this is not meant entirely an admonishment but more a reminder. It's also not aimed entirely at you specifically but rather people I've seen in notes on your posts, as well as Neil's. Neil is not lying about Crowley not being Lucifer and isn't going to surprise us with that suddenly being canon in the series. He quite literally can't do that now. He knows people are or will be making fanfic of it now. He now cannot ever use it. Same with the Raphael theory. Same with any other popular fan theory someone has taken to his inbox for confirmation, only to be denied. All that accomplishes is confirming he in no way will ever use any element of it in any of his writing going forward. So keep speculating! Keep having fun making theories! But stop taking them to Neil. All you do is ensure they will never be canon. As Neil always says, just wait and see.

hi anon✨

im going to take you at your word re: it not being entirely an admonishment or aimed at me. and choose to simply see this ask as a way of getting a general PSA out into the tumblr ether. that, i will gladly help with.

i respect your view and agree with it... i would however argue that personally i think the people that have been in my post notes in particular have been pretty respectful from what i recall, or at least have been very clearly joking.

there is, as far as im aware, a relatively small group of blogs that went generally full-ham on the theory (and perhaps im in that number, idk) but from what ive seen, following neil's ask, the majority have actually found the whole situation very funny...

maybe gone a bit ironic/sarcastic with "lmao imagine if he's lying" out of disappointment (me too!), but obviously joking and otherwise pretty respectful. honestly, i found the whole thing hysterical, i hammed up the Lucifer Theory Grief for an evening, and have since largely gotten over it. i think a lot of others have been the same.

however. i managed to read about 20 replies through That Neil Ask before i was starting to get pretty pissed off, by people on both sides of the lucifer argument:

i get why people were getting irritated by the pro-theoriers; the theory was debunked - move on, or take it off of the ask. i agree with that sentiment - other than rb'ing the ask twice and adding my tags, i left it alone and kept the dialogue on my own blog, and imo others should have done the same - just simply left the neil ask, and taken the discourse to their own blogs.

that being said, some of the anti-theoriers were coming across as outright rude, to the point for me of even being quite upsetting (and it wasn't even directed at me lmao). i get they were probably getting annoyed on behalf of neil, and that's admirable - but neil is a whole ass grown man. if he wanted people to stop commenting on his ask, i imagine he would have locked the post, posted a PSA, or just simply turned off his askbox. people do not need to police for him.

one thing i will point out, however, is that the lucifer theory came up on an rb, not directly in his inbox.

neil chose to respond to that rb (and the one after) entirely by his choice; it wasn't sprung on him in his inbox. noone should have to police their rbs or rb tags just in case he sees? direct inbox submission is a huge no-no (i agree with you, especially as he has actually asked for people to not do that), but this particular situation, ill be honest, does not fit that.

i also think the way both sides have reacted over the lucifer debunk has now unfortunately set a rather unsettling precedent for any other theory that might come out and people disagree with; ive been bracing myself for a potential shitstorm all day about my theory on the second coming for this very reason... and tbh i shouldn't have to feel like that.

everyone deserves to have fun in fandom-space, that's what makes it enjoyable and collaborative. if you (royal 'you') do not like a theory, or think it's a load of rubbish, either argue it back eloquently and with an open mind, instead of just being outright dismissive and making people feel stupid (as i felt after reading those replies, tbh), or leave that person/collective alone. it doesn't hurt you, it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's just people speculating and having fun with it.

now about the actual debunk of the theory itself - yes, i agree, it could be an IP nightmare potentially. i have further thoughts on this but i think im going to leave it there for now, my reply is already long enough✨

[mithliya]

https://www.tumblr.com/youturningintodust/735765266414387200/yes-this-is-rape-culture-done-by-women-well?source=share

invert in op's bio

honestly the invert stuff is whatever to me bc i guess she’s a gnc lesbian so it’s like.. that was what they were called back then. if she feels it’s more succinct and fitting than terms nowadays, that’s fine, her choice. as a term it’s tied to homophobic ideology but i cant assume that’s her point in using it.

i personally don’t like the strap fixation online or in lesbian spaces, because it has made me & many other lesbians feel like weirdos tbh like. we feel like there’s sth wrong with us for NOT liking that but i guess she’s speaking from a diff perspective here, so that’s fine too.

i disagree with framing it as “butch/femme sex” & i dislike the assumption that there being a masc & a feminine woman within the same relationship means we’re having sex a certain way. it’s rly not like that and it sucks when ppl assume that butches can’t possibly enjoy reciprocal sex and only want to give instead of receive any sex acts. or, perhaps less damaging imo, that feminine women only want to receive and not give. it’s just… not the case. how we present to the world doesn’t say much about how we have sex.

the idea that not liking the fixation with strap that can be found in many spaces for women into women is tied to the idea that u need to “use your vagina (penetratively)” is also odd to me. there’s definitely lesbians who don’t enjoy receiving any penetration but enjoy receiving oral for example, or clit stimulation, or some form of rubbing like tribbing or scissoring or w/e else. idk why theres this assumption that it’s either u wear the strap or u get penetrated?? like. it’s not that rare for lesbians to not enjoy or want penetration, actually. maybe its rare to never want any form of penetration, but that’s also not that rare nor is it limited to butches??

but yeah if someone expresses only wanting sex in one way, to guilt trip them in any way or shame them in any way for not wanting to have sex the way YOU approve of is rapey and gross. she’s right about that.

idk why she’s acting like topping being “alien” to lesbians is normal tho…most of us enjoy reciprocal sex, meaning we are mostly vers. if a woman acted like topping is a totally weird thing to do, i reckon most women would not be compatible with her.

again rly hate the equating of female masculinity with being a stone top! she means stone butches, she should say that. it’s more common among butches, but it’s neither exclusive to butches to only want to have the type of sex she describes nor do all butches fit that standard either.

i’m sure what she describes exists but honestly the phenomena i’ve noticed more often is the opposite where people expect butches to not want to be penetrated or not want to have sex acts done onto them… i agree w her ppl who feel entitled to do that to butches are awful tho.