#they were saying the same shit about Sierra

[holylulusworld]

SHG for killers (1) - The first meeting

Summary: 6 men meet up to talk about their problems. They soon realize they need someone to help them solve their problems. This person is you. Whether you like it or not.

Pairing: Steve Kemp x fem!Reader, Lloyd Hansen x fem!Reader, Robert Pronge (Mr. Freezy) x fem!Reader, Andy Barber x fem!Reader, God, the bounty hunter x fem!Reader, Ransom Drysdale x fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of murder/killing for money, serial killers/hitmen, mentions of blood/gore, talk about crimes, self-help group for killers/hitmen, world building, we get to know the men first

Self-help group for killers masterlist

“IT STINGS!” His screams of pain and agony echo in Lloyd Hansen’s mind when he wakes from another restless slumber.

He’s a stone-cold mercenary. Merciless and fearless. Or he was. That was until a certain former CIA lapdog pissed onto everything Lloyd stands for. It doesn’t help that he lost two fingers while hunting Six down.

“Bastard,” he curses under his breath as his eyes focus on his hand mutilation. “Still miss my pussy fingers,” Lloyd grumbles angrily. “Wait until I find you, Sierra Six. You’re a dead man; you just don’t know it yet.”

He closes his eyes, replaying the scene again. Lloyd grits his teeth, remembering how he got into a grapple with Six, who blew off Lloyd's left pinkie and ring finger.

The finger prosthetics don’t make him feel better. Sierra’s win over him, the loss of his fingers and reputation, still stings. His self-confidence and ego were not only bruised but torn in two.

For months, he fails mission after mission. His team is long gone, and so is his patience. Lloyd is angry and out for blood. Preferable Sierra Six’s blood.

He tried anything to find the renegade assassin. So far, he didn’t even find a trace. Sierra Six is a master at hiding from his enemies. Lloyd gives him that.

“One day, you’ll pay for what you did.”

“No drugs. No contact with other offenders. No missing an appointment,” Ransom’s probation officer recites all the rules he must follow. “Mr. Drysdale, did you even listen?”

“All of you are telling me the same thing.” Ransom sneers. “You’re the fifth guy in not four months. I know the rules.” He leans back in the uncomfortable and cheap chair the probation officer offered him. “All of you try to get me behind bars again; I get it. You’re pissed because I got earlier than everyone expected.”

“Mr. Drysdale,” the probation officer replies, watching Ransom munch another cookie. “I really don’t have the time to make plans to get you behind bars again. That’s not in my job description. If you don’t have any problems, we can end the meeting for today.”

“Shit, just a sec.” Robert doesn’t have the time to talk to his ex today. “Listen, you got the money and the car. Let’s part on good terms.” He’s poorly hiding his anger. If she says one more word, he’ll sneak into her new apartment and kill her and the bastard who’s banging her brains out now. “I got a job to do.”

Robert hangs up the phone. He’s not done with the body yet. The client wants proof that her husband is dead. She’s a naughty one, Robert thinks to himself while getting the saw out. Well, all for customer satisfaction.

The doctor is not happy. He tried anything to make sure his business was flowing. Sadly, some people try to stop him from being successful.

“You had to cross me, didn’t you?" He looks down at his former partner and sneers. “We could’ve made so much money. But you had to find your conscience.”

Steve kicks the dead man, grunting as he’s bleeding on the brand-new carpet at his office. Killing his partner wasn’t in his plans for today. It’s not the first time he got his hand dirty.

If Steve were honest, he’d admit that he likes to get his hands dirty. As a doctor, he should save other people’s lives, not take them. Still, he can’t help but feel excited about his latest decision.

Watching the family grieve over the death of their recently killed father and husband, God furrows his brows. He never understood human emotions. The man he killed was a tyrant. He betrayed his business partners, terrorized his family, and cheated on his wife.

The man remains in his hideout to watch the family and friends mourn their loss. Lately, he likes to stick around to watch their reaction. Some scream. Others silently cry.

God likes the ones who put on a show for others the most. He did so all his life. Pretending in public that he’s a normal guy.

The truth is, he feels hollow because he never belonged...

Andy Barber steps out of the courtroom with his head held high. He won another case and can’t help but smirk as his opponent seems to be salty.

“Barber,” the prosecutor says, venom in his voice. “Congratulations on letting another monster go free.”

“If you wanted them in jail,” Andy says, and he dips his head to watch his client smirk at the victims of his cruelty, “you should’ve been a better lawyer.”

Andy walks toward his client, a spring in his step to shake the monster’s hand. He smirks and assures the man he deserves to walk out of the courtroom as a free man. Andy squeezes the man’s hand hard, making him wince. Who would’ve thought a lawyer could be so strong?

The serial rapist ends up dead after the accused was acquitted for lack of evidence. Lloyd recites the newspaper. “I see you’ve been very active lately, Barber. Do I need to remind you to keep it low?”

“No one asked you,” Andy shoots back. He doesn’t know why he’s still coming to the so-called self-help group. Andy doesn’t feel guilty for killing his clients. Who else would punish them for their crimes? “They had a choice, Hansen. It wasn’t me letting him go.”

“He’s not wrong,” Ransom says between munching a cookie and sipping on the expensive mochaccino he bought on his way to the group. “Baber got a point there.”

“Who asked you, amateur?” Robert sneers. He just can’t stand Barber or Drysdale. They are not worth his time, or so he thinks. He’s fine with Hansen and the guy calling himself God. They are like him—professionals. “I don’t even know why you, Mr. Lawyer, are here.”

“I invited them,” Hansen grunts. “If you want to leave, you can go anytime. I founded this group, not you.”

“Man, stop making a fuss!” Pronge shows his palms. “I only wanted to point out that they are not professionals. What if the cops find out about their hobby? What if they decide to get a deal and rat us out?”

Lloyd snorts. He looks at the black leather glove hiding his prosthetic fingers. “No one rats Lloyd Hansen out. We all agreed on complete secrecy. What we discuss here stays within this room.”

Andy rubs his bearded chin. Coming to the group to talk about the crimes he committed helped him improve. Lloyd and God even gave him advice on how to make his crimes look like accidents. “I’m going to therapy now,” he admits. “Not to talk about my hobby, though.”

“Therapy, huh?” Lloyd taunts, while Ransom smirks. God and Robert busy themselves with checking their phones for new clients. “I hope you’re not talking about our little group with the doctor.”

Steve sneers. “Don’t call these incompetent wannabes doctors. They are by all means nothing but pathetic losers trying to tell you how to live your life.”

“No one asked you, Dr. Frankenstein,” Ransom snaps at Steve. “Did you work on some nice asses and tits lately?”

“Shut up,” Steve jumps up, knocking his chair over. “At least I got a job, and I don’t live off my family’s money.”

“Shut up yourself!” Ransom puts his cookies aside and throws the rest of his mochaccino at Steve.

“Gentlemen!” Lloyd yells at Steve and Ransom. “We come here to talk about our problems and help each other improve. I didn’t come here, freezing my ass off on the way to watch you fight like girls over the latest fashion trend.”

“The therapy helps me more than coming here,” Andy raises his voice. “Your advice was good, but I think I’ll stick to her.”

The men stop fighting and stare at Andy.

“Her?” Lloyd licks his lips. “You’ve got a pretty little doctor for your therapist? Why didn’t you tell us before? We would’ve been all ears.”

“Why does this make a difference?” Andy cocks a brow. “She’s got a good reputation and listens to me. I talked to her for months, and she never pressured me into talking about my family.”

“Boohoo, your wife killed your murderous son and is as dead as your latest victim,” Lloyd mocks Andy. “Let’s talk about that pretty ass you’re seeing. Show us her reputation and shit.”

“Why?” Andy sighs deeply. He knew it was a mistake to talk about you and your sessions.

“For science,” Lloyd grins and snatches the phone out of Andy’s hand. Before Andy can protest, Lloyd throws the phone at God, nodding at him. “Unlock it, and look for the doc.”

Steve rolls his eyes. He didn’t come here to talk about some therapist. “Can we go back to business? Barber has a therapist. Maybe he even bangs her. Who cares?”

“Bangs her?” That picked Lloyd’s interest. “Not the worst idea. Maybe as a new version of therapy. Fuck all the bad memories out of her sweet cunt.”

“Got it,” God says and throws the phone at Lloyd. Y/N Y/L/N,” he recites your address and contact information. “She looks cute.”

“Cute?” Ransom laughs. “I didn’t know the word cute in your vocabulary. Show me.” Ransom walks toward Lloyd to look at the phone in his hands. “Not bad. Hey Barber, does she have a cute ass too?”

“Why are we talking about some woman? If our meeting is over, I’ll go back to business,” Steve says as he gets up. He wants to walk past Lloyd but glances at the phone. “Hmm…I’ve seen her before.”

Steve snatches the phone out of Lloyd’s hands. He looks at the pictures of you, licking his lips.

“Stop stalking my therapist,” Andy angrily says. “Can I get my phone back now?”

“I remember now,” Steve exclaims while staring at your pictures. “She accompanied one of her patients. They wanted surgery, but she talked them out of it. I hated her.” He shrugs.

“I bet she’s an uptight little doctor,” Lloyd muses. His smirk darkens as he looks at the men he brought together around two years ago. “Barber, did you already have a taste? I bet she tastes like strawberries.”

“Hansen, that is enough,” Andy grumbles. He snatches the phone out of Lloyd’s hands and turns to leave. “This was a waste of time!”

“Not to me.” Lloyd clenches and unclenches his fists. “I think I found something that will help us improve as a group. You all came here to talk about your problems and to get better at what you’re doing. I think this sweet doctor will be a big help.

Tags in reblog.

[discalmnected]

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[giantkillerjack]

Watching Horrible Histories for the first time and reminded about working conditions in the Victorian era and how British people in that time believe themselves to be the Pinnacle of society!

Which reminds me a lot of America today - the greatest country in the world (as long as you don't look too close)!

I'm sure it'd be alright if we did a little (or a shit load of) imperialism - after all, we have better ways of living we can share with these poor foreigners! (Ignore our medical mortality rate, we are doing AWESOME.)

[alatismeni-theitsa]

In "KAOS" nothing is anything, and everything is wrong

Two disclaimers: I am no stranger to modern art, and I have no issue with queerness in shows, or in my own mythology (I'm Greek). I am also aware that KAOS is a comedy. It's in the gutter of British comedy, but still part of the genre. At least I laughed every time they said "Oh God!". I don't believe this is the same person who wrote the great and amusing "End of the F**king World"! The premise of "The gods in our modern world" appeals to me a lot, so that wasn't my problem either. My general issue with KAOS is its horrible delivery, bad writing, and piss-poor Greek representation.

This is gonna be long and full of stupid gifs, so sit comfortably, grab a coffee or some popcorn and... pame!

The "ILoveGreekMythology" Kid

Art without context is just a pretty thing to look at. Most of the time, this context can be found within the art piece itself, as the artist has taken care to weave it in. KAOS refuses to connect itself to any context besides the names and a few vague powers. It aims to exist outside of those "boring old stories of the Greek myth" and be entirely "fresh and modern". Something impossible when the entire show and the meanings are based on ancient recorded material. In other words, KAOS is so meta that it ends up being nothing. KAOS cannot stand on its own because you need more than the viewers being familiar with the Greek myth basics to pull such a show off.

KAOS tells us "See? I know all the names of the gods, and what they did, and I know all the locations, so I am qualified to tackle this". More or less like any Western kid who takes all their knowledge from PJO and Marvel and proceeds to unironically hate ancient deities and make a girlboss out of Medusa.

Here's a Greek word for you guys, ημιμάθεια, meaning "half-knowledge". Α Greek saying very well declares "Half-knowledge is worse than no knowledge". The confidence of thinking you know enough often leads you to grave mistakes whereas the humility of not knowing prevents you from touching shit that you shouldn't. When you have no idea what the original myth is trying to say and spit on its meaning, knowing a few names and locations is just smoke and mirrors. I don't believe the audience fell for that.

And don't get me started on the "subversions". A good subversion is intriguing and thought-provoking. In KAOS, every twist was hollow - Greek myth related or otherwise.

"What if Euridice doesn't love Orpheus?" I don't know, babe. What if??? What was the point of that? What did you show us? That women's stories are dominated by men and men don't listen to women, perhaps? And you chose to twist... the love story of Orpheus and Euridice to show this?? One of the best and most tragic love stories Greek mythology has to offer?? You just mocked the myth, you didn't make anything profound out of it.

The Greek Stuff (Nothing salvageable)

I was surprised to see they had a Consulting Producer (Georgia Christou) and an Assistant Script Editor (Isabella Yianni) who happen to be Greek. And I stress that because those people probably weren't hired or utilized for being Greek. We are not sure they were involved in cultural decisions because we have no evidence and because shows with no Greek elements can have more Greeks than that on their staff.

Okay, perhaps they took 5 seconds to ask Isabella about a greeting - which they proceeded to say in a wrong intonation 🙄🤌It's where Poseidon says "ya sás" in the Fates, by the way. How he said it sounds more like "for you (pl.)" than "health to you (pl.)".

Surprise! The only Greek actor present (Peter Polycarpou) has less than 5 minutes of screen time and plays the caricature of an immigrant with a thick (and inaccurate Greek) accent. He has a canteen, selling falafel which is not Greek, and Dionysus buys from him an unidentified tortilla wrap (which... is also not Greek, if you haven't caught up).

For the show they brought in actors of Maori, Nigerian and Sierra Leonean, Pakistani, Black American, Latvian-Jewish, Iranian, Egyptian, Indo-Fijian and Malay descent and you tell me it was impossible for them to seek and find an English-speaking, skilled actor of Greek descent in a show regarding Greek heritage. Sometimes I wonder, do y'all hate us so much?

They considered Greeks only to give us a simple (and wrong) greeting and a stereotype. Crumbs, we are supposed to be happy with. By the way, there are over 70.000 Greek immigrants just in the UK, usually in the urban centers, many of them students or fairly young employees in the corporate workforce. Not the largest minority but not hard to spot either.

Another plague of Anglophone shows: Almost everyone's Greek name is shortened. Yes, we know their full names but we are told that we will use the short ones. Greeks and their "long and difficult" names am I right fellas? Because saying "Ariadne" apparently requires 5 years of Greek language training, and no English word ever has more than two syllables.

Coincidentally, short names are cool in Anglophone imaginary universes and the "long" names are not. it's so strange Anglophones never make universes where it's cool for Greek names to be spoken in full hmmm... They don't even want to practice saying a whole Greek name for just 2 minutes in preparation for a show full of Greek names. And don't give me that "Greek is hard" shit when we only talk about a few syllables. If Greek kids can learn English since first grade and people here can sing English songs and spell English names, you have no excuse.

They also said the name "Fotis" means light, which is close enough but... ugh.. It's like saying Sebastian means "respect". I am not sure if they asked anyone or what their research was here. If I had the writers in front of me, I'd be like:

(This character from an all-time favorite Greek show is called Fotis)

They also made the flag of "Krete" an alteration of the Greek flag and the local Cretan flag. Which is the stupidest move, because they had to remove the religious symbol of the cross to make the flag fit the universe. These are flags created based on 1) Christianity 2) the Greek Revolution of 1821.

National Greek flag to the left, local Cretan flag to the right:

Flag of the KAOS' "Krete":

The only time they seriously took into account anything Greek, was the time when they decided to remove the religious symbol of our ethnoreligion AND (from what I could observe) keep the nine stripes?? The nine stripes of our national flag represent the syllables in "Freedom or Death". The colors are from the white foustanela of the mainland attire and the dark blue vraka of the island attire, the clothing of the Revolution fighters. (That's more of a meta explanation but the characteristics of the flag were decided during and nearly after the Revolution.)

I think I don't have to explain it more but it's not a homage to put the nine stripes in an ancient era where they have no meaning, and to replace a cross??? Let's... not replace religious symbols on national flags, okay? Thank you.

Another cultural element they changed was making everyone have a dedicated coin to pay Charon. Orpheus has Euridice's coin, "her coin", and he's meant to put it on her before she got buried. In Greek culture, any coin would do. Sorry that our culture restricts your script, dear writers. I guess you had to bend this too, in order to create a cohesive plot with a semblance of a twist.

Finally, the many "Kerberus" dogs were cute and I can understand the creative decision behind that. However, in a show full of inaccuracies, this made me roll my eyes a little. I think the showrunners know that Kerveros is not a breed of dog, and there can only be one of him because he doesn't have any other "Kerveros" to breed with. On the other hand, as demonstrated from art/writing on the internet, quite a lot of Westerners are not exactly aware of how our monsters work, so forgive my uncertainty 😅

Nothing is Anything

Every element KAOS played with ended up meaningless. In the words of a Lifo article:

“Zeus is a paranoid authoritarian dictator in mid-life crisis who fears losing his power and murders his aides to vent. Hera is a promiscuous goddess who repeatedly betrays Zeus and has mutilated mute priestesses for protection. Dionysos is a spoiled and immature zoomer who, apart from pranks, indulges in orgies with all genders. Poseidon a sadistic god of the sea, who tortures the crew on his ship for fun. Prometheus is gay and killed his lover so he could overthrow Zeus. Orpheus is a famous pop singer and Eurydice does not love him. Theseus is black and gay. The Erinyes are tough-as-nails mechs that look like they stepped out of ‘Sons of Anarchy’. The Fates resemble a three-member jury in a talent show. The Trojans are a terrorist group that acts against the gods. Crete is more reminiscent of California than the Mediterranean.”

The "River Styx" is a sea, the "River Lethe" is a lake, the gods are nothing more than spoiled humans, the Moirai are drag queens, the Cave is a club where you have to take a quiz to enter the underworld, and generally everything is modern, flat, mundane and anticlimactic. The producers aimed to achieve a work so meta that a "river" is now a concept, a metaphor, whatever you have in your heart. And those who want to see a river when we speak of a river are probably uncultured swines and don't understand postmodernism. Never mind that rivers are rivers in Greek mythology for a reason. That's not culturally interesting enough to explore compared to the new, cool approach of not assigning meaning to anything. That totally shows love for the original rich and meaningful material...

And the reason behind all this subversion? Probably the shock factor. They brought the characters to a point where they said "We have to save the world from Zeus" - Zeus! The father of gods, heroes and humans! - just because they could. It gives off a certain type of smugness that I personally don't like. I mean, I would like the smugness and cheekiness of KAOS if it wasn't a vapid and practically meaningless show. As nothing symbolizes anything anymore, we are just led from hollow plot point to hollow plot point.

If you cut it out of any cultural influence and see it as a story then it's... okay, I guess. But when you consider that it's meant to derive from certain material and it fails spectacularly, it's not a good story. It forgets its bases and doesn't play with the ancient elements at all. Disney's Hercules did it better, FFS!

Bad Writing (pt.1)

KAOS is not without recognizable themes but their demonstration is so juvenile and heavy-handed that it fails to influence a viewer of average intelligence. For instance, "Riddy" says to her religious mother "You dedicated your whole life to Hera, what about me?" Okay, KAOS, we get it. At the same time, this theme nulls itself because it turns out that Ridy's mother was right to do what she did, as she had a greater goal in mind. (And this, kiddos, is called Bad Writing, because your themes and scenes contradict each other)

The biggest theme I spotted was a criticism of religion and religious people who say "Do as I say, not as I do" and create exceptions for themselves. Only, it's not a criticism of anything real, in this case. It's a fact that some people in the clergy tend to preach peace and love and then they do harm, but we don't know, for example, that The Goddess of Marriage is a cheater and yet she pressures everyone into strict marriages. By focusing their wrath on divine beings who are not known for their hypocrisy, the creators missed the mark.

I can give KAOS props for how it handled Trojans to reflect real issues regarding how immigrants and war refugees are mistreated and blamed. I'd argue it was the only (nearly) well-done theme in the whole show because it had the least on-the-nose delivery and some genuine/serious scenes. But that's it.

More Bad Writing!

Jeff Goldblum's Zeus is shit. He'd crap his pants in an argument with a stern Greek dad/uncle his age. Is this character supposed to be intimidating? (Laughs in Mediterranean) That's not to say that Goldblum is not a good actor, but this role wasn't for him. The same can be said for the other actors, too. They are competent but they only give off the air of "The Greek gods if they lived in London, from the minds of people who think beards and body hair are an affliction". In addition to being misplaced, the actors cannot show their talent when following a script that resembles a children's book.

Why does THE GOD Dionysus have the maturity of a 15-year-old? I repeat, The God Dionysus. He's a freaking deity, and a very old one at that. He is not a teenager neither in appearance nor in experience. In our culture, he is mystical, mighty, wise. Why did they downgrade him so? Just for the plot? This is not Dionysus just because you named him so.

The dialogue rarely takes itself seriously to the point it has you wondering at times "Do people talk and behave like that?". In a comedy where everything is meant to be already extreme and parodied. Even in comedies, something must occasionally be serious so there is a healthy fluctuation in tone and the funny moments can hit you. In KAOS very few scenes treated their impactful dialogue as it should be treated.

The queerness and diversity (good elements, in general) were worse off for being in KAOS. Like, I want these elements to be there. I'm just sad about the whole situation. It's not enough that the show is shit, now you also give an additional reason for conservatives to shit on diverse and queer characters because they are part of a stupid narrative.

I'm the type of person who doesn't mind the queerness of Astyanax and Theseus being lovers in the context of this specific show but they're still the oddest pairing to me because they're from the most irrelevant myths and eras. Also, Astyanax in my mind is a baby who died tragically, for little reason if we are honest, so to bring him back and make him a love interest is... ekh.

In addition, isn't Astyanax supposed to be crippled after a fall from the city walls when he was a baby? Sorry to change subjects but the show is so convoluted and with so many issues that it's extremely difficult to stay on track with what's wrong.

To the person who thought this show was a good idea:

Whatever. Bye. I'm fucking done.

[hxt1b]

"i knew the day i met you you'd be the one"

choso x reader 

These tiktoks and the amazing art had some hand in the inspo of this one. Choso / Sukuna. oh and maybe a little bit of this one too. i’m just gonna go ahead and add this link too. because it fits.

-> WC: 2.7k

-> CW: Motocross AU, older brother Sukuna, Sukuna and Choso do not get along, Sukuna is overprotective of you and Choso is possessive kinda, Yuji and Sukuna are separate-bodied individuals for this, and Sukuna is not in true form I mean this is a motocross au so… pwp, well some plot. smut warning [teasing, fingering, name calling {you: slut}, hair pulling, spanking, finger sucking, minor ass play, manhandling, penetration, choking. Idk if missed anything] 

-> A/N: oh my, I fucking hope this isn't shit, its kinda deprived and cracked but I hope you guys like it. Idk I feel like the ending could have been better, but still I don't think its completely terrible. Lastly please excuse any messed up grammar I tried my best. 

Masterlist 

prompt list for requests.

 -> request: "hi bestie

Could I have a piece on Choso and Sukuna with Prompts: #2 “Take it off” and #4”Move away from the door and let me have at him”?? Suggestive, fluff or even smut!! 

Thank you for taking the time to get to my request hehe I’m looking forward to it" @bts-sierra <here you go babe>. 

Choso's hands were in your hair, under your shirt, sliding up your skirt. Rough fingers digging into soft skin, heated kisses pressed into oversensitive flesh that he'd just sucked on. Marks were already littering your upper chest, he had you half undressed with all your clothes still on. His thigh was in between your legs, your hips moving against him uninhibited. His body was pushing you into the wall, your hands pulling at his hair. 

Chose was everywhere, and you loved it. 

He moaned your name at the base of your throat, his hot breath lighting your skin on fire. You breathed a whimper in response as his left hand trailed down your stomach to your core. 

He didn't touch you, at least not where you wanted him to. He dragged deft fingers along your panties and over the apex of your thighs. You groaned bucking your hips at him. In response Choso sank his teeth into your collarbone, gently gathering the skin with his teeth and sucking, before licking at it with his tongue. You shivered your body arching into him. 

"You want my fingers?" He asked. 

You nodded. 

"Say it." He demanded. 

"I want your fingers, Choso." 

He hummed. Finally pushed your panties to the side and dragging this middle finger up your slit. "What do you want these fingers to do?"

His tone was light, mocking. His face drawn back taking in your features. Your head was tilted back leaning into the wall and you breathed heavily, your entire being worked up from the heated kisses and almost there touches. 

"Choso." You whined. 

"I need direction, darling." He breathed, his right hand settling on the wall beside your head. His head cocking to the side, his lips curled up into a smirk that had your cunt flexing about nothing. 

"Uh, please," you mumbled, "Fuck me with them."  

He hummed again, moving his middle finger in a slow circle around your clit. Before slowly sinking it into your heat. 

"Like this?" 

"More." 

"So greedy." But he added another finger. You moaned at his slow ministrations. 

"Fuck," you cursed as you curled your hands into the front of his shirt. He added a third finger, but his rhythm was still the same. Slow and agonizing. "Harder." You begged. 

Choso leaned his head closer to yours his lips brushing over yours. 

"What would your brother say if knew how much of a slut you are for me?" 

You narrowed your eyes at him, hoping your glare was registering. 

"Why would you-" 

Your words were cut off by a loud moan as he picked up his pace, his fingers curling into your sweet spot. It was mind-numbing, his thumb worked at your clit as his fingers pumped in and out of you. The wet sound filled the air around you mixing with your panting and his soft breathing. 

You moved your hand to the back of his head and tilted your face up to kiss him. He let you, his tongue instantly thrusting into your mouth. His hand left the wall and moved to the back of your head pulling you further into his kiss. His lips moved against your lips at a bruising rate. 

"You're fucking mine." He muttered. His fingers pulled your head back by pulling on your hair. 

You were close, Choso knew your body like the back of his hand, the two of you had been sneaking around behind Sukuna's back for almost half a year now. 

"Am I?" You taunted. 

Your body was coiled tight, Choso's fingers pumped in and out of you brutally now. He growled your name as you finally came apart on his fingers. He stayed with you for a couple more seconds working your over for your high before taking a step back from you, letting your body slump against the wall. His eyes narrowed at you as he licked his fingers clean. Your walls clenched at the action, and you let out an involuntary whimper. 

"Take it off." Chose commended lowly. "Take it all off." You quickly ripped your clothes off and moved to the bed. Chose pushed you down onto your stomach. You looked over your shoulder at him, your body shuddering as you took in his gaze, amused and full of lust. 

"So obedient for someone questioning if they're actually mine." 

You moved onto your hands and knees leaning your hips back so that you pressed into his hips. Moving against his still-clothed erection. You were fixed under his stare, coming apart for him slowly one day at a time while he pulled at your strings. 

You were his. You just never said it. 

He gripped your hips roughing, pushing you off his body. A rough smack landed against your ass causing you to cry out in shock. 

"You gonna question it again darling?" He asked his hand rubbing against the sting. 

You looked over your shoulder again, your lip caught between your teeth. 

"Last I checked I was nobodies." You taunted again. Choso narrowed his eyes again his nose flaring at your words as he breathed in deeply. You loved taunting him, it always, always, worked out in your favour. 

"Oh baby," He murmured, his fingers digging into your hips harder. "Start counting." With that he smacked you again, your body jolting forward as he did. 

You moaned and whimpered. "One."  

He soothed the sting again by rubbing your quickly heating skin before smacking your ass again, and again and again harder as he went switching hands until you were shaking and barely able to get your words out. 

"What was that he asked," After what you hoped was the last one. 

"T-ten" You tried again.

"Good girl." He finally praised, and you keened under the praise. 

He let go of you, "head on the pillow." He said and you dropped down, letting your ass hang in the air as you curled your arms around the pillow, your breath barely caught before Choso was on you again, his cock gliding through your folds and his hands gripping your ass cheeks pulling at them so he could watch his cock glide through your slick nudging your clit with each pass. 

"So wet for me." He groaned, and you moaned in response. Your brain was fogged, words probably wouldn't come for a while, not any that could make much sense anyway. 

Your whines were needy as he lined his cock up with your entrance, the pressure causing you to writhe against him. 

"Stay still." His fingers dug into you to keep you still as he slowly pushed in, pumping his cock slowly to get deeper into you. When his hips were seated against your ass, he let out a deep groan, letting his head fall back as he let himself take in the feel of your cunt clutching at his cock. 

"So perfect," he mumbled. "So fucking mine." He pulled back slowly before pumping back into you. Your hands clenched at the pillow case pulling at it. 

You were starting to feel like you couldn't handle it, you felt like you were gonna burst and he'd only just started. Moans and whimpers spilled from your lips, only stuttered by nonsense words and his name. 

Choso snickered at you as he set a rhythm, his hips gradually gaining momentum, his hand gripped at your hair and pulled your body up to his. Your back flush against his chest, one hand wrapped around your throat, as the other kept a grip on your hair. 

His hips met yours halfway as you thrust back into him. Your hands gripped his arm as your entire body was enveloped in a searing heat that pushed at your lungs as he tightened his grip on your throat. 

"You're doing fucking amazing, darling." Choso praised his lips brushing your ear. "My fucking slut. Taking my cock like you were made for me. Only me."  

He took your ear lobe into his mouth, sucking. Finally, he let up on your throat, letting you breathe easier. His hand left your hair, rounding your body and bringing two fingers to your mouth. 

"Suck." You instantly opened for him, taking his fingers into your mouth and sucking, swirling your tongue around the two digits. He pulled his fingers from your mouth without warning before pushing you back into the bed roughly. His thrusts faltered for a second as he gripped at your ass again. His fingers circled your other hole dragging louder moans out of you as he did so.

He laughed at your reaction. "Yeah, baby I know you love this." He said and slowly sank a spit-soaked finger into you. The stretch stung but you couldn't come up with anything but whined moans. Your hips still pushing back against him. You were becoming desperate for release your body was prickling with desire and overwhelmed by Choso. 

He pumped his finger once, twice before leaving it still and picking pace with his hips. Your hips stilled at his actions his free hand holding you in place as he rutted against you. The tight knot in your stomach finally snapped spreading pins prickling all over you. Your ears rang, your eyes shut tight, your hands ripping at the sheets as you convulsed around his cock. 

He was moaning loudly, his hips still snapped into you as he chased his high. You could tell he was close from how frantic he was becoming, your orgasm was still seething through you when he came inside you. His cum coating your walls. 

He removed his hands from you, falling over you on the bed, his arms bracketing your head. 

"Fuck me." He muttered, his lips pressing soft kisses on your shoulder and then the side of your face, urging you to turn into him so he could kiss you on the lips. You obliged and he softly kissed your mouth drawing your tongue against his. 

"Say it." He muttered, his voice low. Your brain wasn't working, his cock was still inside you and you were still squirming against him despite how spent you felt. 

Choso groaned lowly and pushed his hips into you to keep you still. 

"Fuck, darling. Say it." He was almost whining. "Say you're mine." 

He bit at your jaw, nipping at your skin over and over again. Your head was still spinning, and maybe that's why you said it because, in a regular state of mine, you wouldn't have or at this point maybe you would have you couldn't say. 

"I'm yours." And you were. He kissed you again, his mouth hot against yours as he kissed you deeply, almost like he was sucking your being into him. Molding you both into one. 

Slowly he pulled out of you and went into his bathroom bringing back a wet town to clean you up. When he was done he slipped back into the bed next to you pulling you into him. 

"Aren't you racing in an hour?" You asked. Fucking you was a part of his pre-race ritual. Choso nodded, raking a hand through his hair 

"Yeah, but I have time for this." He said pulling you impossibly tight against his body. You sighed and snuggled in, because why not? It was a soft moment and those were rare, although not as rare as a couple of months ago but still you wouldn't call them frequent. 

Your name being hollered loudly startled you. Choso tightened his grip on you. Loud banging followed the yelling and you let out a deep breath. 

Sukuna. 

"This was a long time coming," Choso muttered reluctantly letting go of you. You panicked internally moving out of the bed quickly. Sukuna was unstable at best and psychotic at worst, you grabbed a shirt and pulled it over your head. Choso pulled on sweats and you rushed through his apartment to the door before he could get there. 

They did not need to get into a fistfight before a race. 

You hesitated at the door and glanced behind you to see Choso leaning against the wall across his front door. He nodded at you to open the door. Your brother was still banging on it like a mad man screaming your name probably scaring everyone in the building. 

"Sukuna-" 

He growled your name taking a step into the apartment, but you pushed him back into the hall. He glared down at you taking in your attire. His eyes flared, his anger on full display. 

"What the fuck are you wearing? Look at you, What the fuck. I have been looking for you for two hours." 

"Sukuna -" You tried again.

"No, Move away from the door and let me have at him.” He demanded shoving you out of the way. You gripped at his shirt and pushed him back again, he growled over your head at Choso who was at your back. They were both a head taller than you, Choso just an inch taller than your brother. 

"What the fuck are you doing with my baby sister you fucking freak?" Your brother growled. You opened your mouth to reply but Choso cut you off. His hand resting on your hip as he leaned over you towards your brother. 

"What do you think?"

Your head snapped up at Choso, the smug look on his face sending a shock of anger through you. 

Sukuna's breathing deepened before he turned an angry look at you, his hand shot out and grabbed your wrist pulling you towards him, but Choso was still holding you, his arm now wrapped around your entire waist.

"You motherfucker. This is your revenge, right? For the fight with Yuji." Sukuna's grip on your wrist tightened as you struggled against them both. 

"Maybe," Choso replied. You fumed. Why was he acting like this, like you were just an object of play for the both of them? Your brother and Yuji got into a fight a week ago, your brother had broken the boy's nose. But you'd been with Choso far longer than that so his act was grating on you. 

"I'm going to rip you to shreds," Sukuna growled. Choso just laughed. 

"I'd like to see you try." 

"Step out from behind my sister you bitch." 

"Gladly," Choso said and moved you to the side. 

"Stop." You cried out as Sukuna swung at Choso. Choso ducked and grabbed the front of Sukuna's shirt ramming his fist into his nose all in the same breath. 

Your brother swore loudly as the bone cracked under Choso's knuckles. You cursed before stepping into the mess and pulling your brother away from Choso. 

"That was for Yuji you dumb bitch. Your sister and I have nothing to do with you." Choso grumbled and turned away from the both of you. His words warmed inside you, and you wanted to laugh at how fickle your emotions could be. A couple of words from this man and you went from seething to swooning. 

Sukuna lunged for Choso's back but you stepped in the way. 

"Okay okay," You said in a calm voice. "Lets get you a towel." 

"No fuck you." He grumbled and shoved you away from him. His hand cradled his broken nose. "You know I fucking hate him so what the fuck are you doing?" 

He was glaring down at you, his amber eyes shifting from your face to Choso's back. 

"Wel-" 

Choso cut you off, his body slanting back towards you and your brother. "Like I said Sukuna, she and I have nothing to do with you. Get that through your big-ass fucking ego. I hate you. But her-" 

He cut himself off, and you were thankful. Whatever he was gonna say was going to be the first time it was going to be said and hearing it in front of your brother was not the way you wanted to hear it. 

Sukuna grumbled and looked down at you still pissed. 

"Get fucking dressed. We're leaving." 

"No, I'm not going with you." You replied sternly. 

"Yes, you are. I'm not fucking asking." 

"You don't own me Sukuna." 

"Fuck,-" 

"Just go," Choso said, his eyes gliding over you, "I'll see you after the race." You blinked at him, his eyes shining at you, his lips curved into a smile. As if to say, you were his anyway, going with your brother right now didn't change that. It just pacified Sukuna's tantrum. 

~ hxt1b feb 9, 2024

[aestheticaltcow]

Double Trouble

Richard "Richie" Jerimovich x Reader

MDNI 18+

Double the trouble but twice the joy. Thank you, God, for giving me a twin.

Do you ever have one of those stupid ideas that sticks in your brain even though it feels kinda stupid? Yea... that's what this was.

Next Part

The Bear Masterlist

Richie walked into The Bear that morning sweating through his suit. He’d been able to avoid Carmy the last few days, claiming he needed some personal time to ‘get some shit done,’ but the reality was he was waiting for the dark purple mark bruise on his neck to dissipate.

Richie had never been the ‘hook up’ type, but being divorced for a year and a half with practically no action makes a guy think. He didn’t plan on hooking up with a random girl he matched with on Tinder or some other dating site. He had his eyes set on asking the cute new checker at the grocery store out on a date that hopefully would end at her place, but that plan went to shit at Marcus’s birthday party last weekend. 

~

Carmy had been dating this woman, Sierra, for a few months. She was a very kind, empathetic pediatric nurse who ironically worked at the same hospital Claire worked at. One could say Carmy has a type. She was stunning. Large brown eyes with hints of a golden undertone, a button nose complemented by a dainty silver ring, plush lips, and high cheekbones. She had a half sleeve made up of different flowers and some kind of shark that Richie could never remember the name of; he didn’t know how Carmy had convinced her to date him.

It was Marcus’s first birthday after his Mom had passed. Syd took it upon herself—with some help from Chester—to throw him a true college-style buck wild rager. Natalie and Pete volunteered to host it at their house since everyone else at The Bear couldn’t accommodate a party quite that large in their apartments. Richie laughed when Syd described what she’d planned: multiple kegs, beer pong…, and the list went on.

He found it endearing how much preparation she’d put into planning this party and expected it would be a fun night. He didn’t expect what happened about halfway through the party.

Richie was buzzed but found his way to the kitchen where he saw Sierra sitting on the counter, Carmy nowhere in sight. She looked upset, and Richie, being the gentleman, asked her if she was okay. Through teary eyes, she shook her head and put her arms out to the man, expecting a hug or some other kind of comfort from him. Once again, being the gentleman, he comforted the young woman and offered to kick Carmy’s ass if he did or said something that may have hurt her feelings. Sierra laughed and squeezed him tighter- the two had hugged before, but this felt different from the others. 

Sierra's lips crashed onto his as Richie pulled away from the hug. Maybe it was because he was buzzed, maybe it was because he’s a scumbag, he kissed her back. As he pushed his tongue into her mouth, he swore he heard someone come into the kitchen and opted to end the kiss there. 

There was no one there. Richie tried to walk away, saying something about this never happening and how they should keep it between them. Sierra shook her head and hopped off the counter, closing the space Richie had made between the two of them. When her hand floated over his crotch, she purred, “It’s been so long since a real man has fucked me… why don’t we find somewhere we could have some privacy?”

As the words left her lips, Richie was done for. It had been a long time since a woman- especially one as pretty as Sierra had touched him or practically begged him to fuck them; he was putty in her hand. Richie led her toward the basement and quickly looked around, ensuring everyone was preoccupied. He felt exhilarated. It was like he was a teenager again, sneaking away to make out with Tiff. The nostalgic excitement was enough to erase Carmy from his mind temporarily. 

When the two were alone in the basement, Sierra pounced on him. As their lips touched, she pushed her tongue into his mouth, fighting him for dominance. Her hands went to his belt. Richie grabbed her wrists and told her there was plenty of time for that; he was not submissive, and today wasn’t going to be the day he’d experiment with it. He released her wrists and moved to pull the top of her tank top down to expose her breasts. As Richie attached his lips to the soft, delicious, newly exposed skin, she managed to undo his belt. She’d always get her way. When her hand enveloped his cock, he could’ve cum then and there.

Sierra worked her hand up and down his growing erection as Richie bit and suckled on each of her nipples, earning soft groans and mumbles of ‘right there’ from her. Enough had been enough; both adults were sick of foreplay and knew they had to go for it to avoid being caught. 

Richie pushed her up against the wall of Natalie and Pete’s half-finished basement and ripped Sierra’s shorts down her legs. He shoved her panties to the side and penetrated her velvety lips. Richie groaned when he felt just how wet she’d gotten from what they’d been doing. ‘Fuck me, Daddy- I need your cock!’ 

The sound of skin slapping skin and loud moans filled the basement as Richie thrust up into her tight succulent pussy. Any worries from before had left his mind as Sierra moaned into his ear, begging him to cum inside of her. When her teeth sunk into his neck, he felt her walls sucking him deeper inside of her. Richie grunted as he adjusted his grip on her thighs; Sierra threw her head back as she came around him. The gush of her fluids was enough to make him bust.

Richie woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and little memory of the events of the night before. When he looked in the mirror and saw the hickey adorning his neck, it hit him like a freight train. He took a step back and began processing what had happened; he had sex… with Carmy’s girlfriend. In a slight panic, he ran into his bedroom and grabbed his phone from his bedside table. He quickly sent a text to the ‘manager’ group chat to let Syd, Natalie, and Carmy know he wasn’t coming in for the next couple of days, claiming he needed to use his personal time. After a confirmation text from Natalie, he put his phone on Do Not Disturb and fell back on his bed. Maybe he was a loser after all.

~

Richie quickly walked through the kitchen, managing to avoid Carmy, who had been doing inventory and subsequently had his back turned. He sat at a table and pressed his forefinger and thumb into the bridge of his nose. How was he supposed to amp up the waitstaff that night when he felt like this? 

“Hey, Richie- you good?” Syd’s causal question turned serious when she saw Richie’s body language. He shook his head, “Do you want to talk about it?” Syd cautiously asked, sitting across from him at the table. 

“Nah- it’s nothin'. Don’t stress it.” Richie grumbled as he pushed himself up from the table. He went toward the kitchen, ignoring Syd’s calls as he busted through the swinging doors. “Where’s Carmy?” he announced to the prep staff, and one of the new line cooks gestured over to the office door. 

Richie took a deep breath and knocked on the closed door before checking to see if it was locked. It took a moment for Carmy to say anything; the lock clicked, and the door swung open. Carmy stood in the doorway, cheeks flushed more than usual. Richie looked over Carmy’s shoulder to see Sierra sitting on the beat-up loveseat, adjusting her scrub top. She smiled in his direction, causing Richie to go pale. “You good cousin?” Carmy queered, getting Richie’s attention.

He shook his head, “I’m good- I’ll talk to you later.” 

~

Guilt was eating Richie alive- he couldn’t sleep or eat, and everyone noticed. Tiffany was the one to question what had been going on. 

“You’re not okay. What’s wrong?” she asked bluntly as the two sat on a bench at the playground, watching Eva play on the jungle gym with one of her friends. “Nothin’.” Richie attempted to bluff, but Tiffany saw through it. “Richard.” she challenged. Richie sighed. “I did somethin’ really stupid, Tiff.”

After confessing to Tiffany about what had happened at Marcus’s party, he felt ready to confess what happened with Sierra to Carmy. Richie was nervously scratching the back of his neck as he waited outside Carmy’s door. He’d knocked just moments ago, but it felt like hours. 

With messy curls and a flushed face, Carmy opened the door. Confusion plastered his face, “What’re you doin’ here?” he queried. Richie swallowed, “Can I talk to ya?”

“Uh, sure…” Carmy stepped aside and allowed Richie into his apartment. Sierra sat on the couch with a blanket over her lap. There was some Danish cooking show on the TV. The two had clearly not been watching the show, and Richie felt another wave of guilt crash over him. “Are you okay, Rich?” Carmy questioned, concern filling his voice as his eyebrows knit together. 

Richie shook his head, “I don’t fuckin’ know why Sierra hasn’t said shit, but we uh- hooked up at Marcus’s birthday party.”

“What the fuck! Ew!” Sierra yelled from the couch, “I would NEVER fuck you Richie.”

“That’s not what you fuckin’ said on Saturday!” Richie yelled accusatory back at Sierra. She rolled her eyes and stood up, revealing her lacy underwear to the two men. “Carmy and I left at like 11 and I was with him the entire time. When would I have had the time to fuck you, Richie?!” she yelled, stepping closer to Richie.

“You were in the kitchen upset about somethin’. I asked if you wanted me to kick Carmy’s ass, then you kissed me and went off on some ‘haven’t fucked a real man’ bullshit.” Richie clarified. He was angry at himself for sleeping with Carmy’s girlfriend, and now she stood there lying to the two of them. Richie watched Seirra’s face contort in frustration, “That didn’t happen, Richie!” 

“Yes! Yes, it fuckin did! Sierra, what the fuck!” Richie groaned. The two were ready to rip each other’s throats out when Carmy broke the tension with his laughter, “Did Y/N go to the party, Si?” he managed to get out between laughs. The realization on Sierra’s face was comical, “I’m gonna kill her, Carmen.” Sierra shook her head as she stomped her way back to Carmy’s bedroom. Richie shot him a confused look, “Sierra has a sister… identical twin sister- Y/N.”

[carlos-in-glasses]

Carlos-in-Glasses Goes to Paris

For prosperity I’ve written up my experience of the First Responders Reunion Convention – which is my first convention experience. And what an overwhelmingly good and stressful time it was. Under the cut is my attempt to capture my memories and the essence of it, rather than a transcription of panels and meeting rooms, as others have already done the good work (or will be). I hope you find this interesting and useful if you do read, and if you have any specific questions (including about travelling alone/logistics/issues I had) I’ll do my best to provide a coherent answer.

I am very tired and this is slightly manic but here we go:

Friday: If you are among those who waited in line for three hours to register for the convention, even if I did not see or interact with you….I feel we are spiritually bonded forever by the experience. Blimey, crikey, and bloody hell. It was not clear at all how long the wait would be, but I was not expecting that! However, there was an undeniable thrill in the air. I was in pain all over, yet happy. By the late evening, dinner was half a tube of Pringles and a glass of red wine.

Saturday: Breakfast was four croissants. I actually recommend this because they really did carry me through until lunch. Not long after arriving, we were milling about in the lobby waiting for the opening ceremony to begin - when Ronen walked past up on the mezzanine/ balcony thing, waving to us, all fabulous and just….there in the flesh?!!!...and revealing his hair. We’d speculated that he’d dyed it pink or the bisexual pride flag colours, or “wouldn’t it be funny if it’s just brown?!” And it was brown! And it WAS Funny.

The opening ceremony was a trip lol. Holy shit. They played a music video compilation of the actors from each show (I never want to hear How to Save a Life by The Fray ever again. Jk jk don’t come for meee). There was an undulation of incredibly loud screaming whenever particular actors popped up on screen, so it was like being on a rollercoaster that wasn’t moving. Adrenaline was high by the time all the actors walked out on stage and say hello. It’s hard to explain exactly how bonkers it is to be in the same physical space as Ronen, Rafa, Sierra and Natacha and see their non-TV dimensions… TANGENT TIME:

….Speaking of dimensions! I tried to pay close attention to the height difference between Ronen and Rafa, but it’s also an optical illusion in real life? FYI, I’m 5 ft 7 – Ronen didn’t seem massively taller than me, Rafa did seem massively taller than me; next to each other it was like there was nothing in it. But in my photos they’re both much taller than me and Ronen looks slightly the biggest I think 🤔 So I have no clue what’s going on. In fact, I’m more confused than ever.

After the opening ceremony (which I fled from because fuuuck) I was waiting around due to rocking up early for my meeting room by accident. The schedule was a confusing design and I was far from the only person who was doing a sort of 'hit-and-hope' when it came to figuring out where to be and when, especially as things almost immediately overran, so other activities got moved around/ postponed. ANYWAY – Ronen walked right past with a member of staff who was instructing him. I overheard him tell her “It’s okay…I’m a pro at this.” He really did wander around like he owned the place. At one point he strolled through the lobby with an unlit cigarette in his mouth.

My first activity was the meeting room with Ronen and Rafa (ie. a group of a set number of people in a room with actors for half an hour). By chance it turned out that I was sitting almost right next to them, with a gap left for the door between us. So, super close. And obviously they were both mesmerising. This was the meeting room where Rafa said “To catch the murderer, Carlos has to behave like one”, and explained that Carlos would have to murder parts of himself. His emphasis was on how Carlos’ innocence has been taken from him because his father’s life was stolen. For what it’s worth, I interpreted this as Rafa viewing the whole thing very much from an dramatic actor’s standpoint, and how he needs to get into the mindset of Carlos’ particular grief metaphorically, rather than meaning anything literal. He speaks quite intensely and thoughtfully and his choice of words is often bold. For anyone concerned about it, just remember he was asked a question and responded off the cuff the best he could in the moment, with limited time. He doesn’t write the show and I guess he’s making assumptions based on how season 4 left off, like the rest of us, unless he’s had very specific conversations with Tim (which, maybe! But he wouldn’t be able to give anything away. We don’t know anything). Then, when Ronen brought up TK dying (because Ronen always dies in the films/TV he does – using an axe to the chest as an example) it was pointed out that Tarlos is endgame, so he can’t die. Cue Rafa being like “Carlos could die with him! They die together!” I was like goodness me lads it’s early in the morning for this. I needed a brandy afterwards.

Next up was my Tarlos Duo Photoshoot. As noted above, everything had fallen behind schedule, and things were starting to get switched around. Honestly, it was confusing, daunting and stressful (please note: Am VERY easily confused, daunted, and stressed). But thanks to the power of following others and asking questions, I ended up where I needed to be. When it was my turn, Rafa immediately and warmly put his arm around me to pose but Ronen was talking to a staff member, so Rafa and I were just… touching each other for a good few seconds before Ro joined us! I took the opportunity to thank Rafa for doing this for us, but I can’t remember how he responded. Then the photo was taken. I told them they’re both amazing, they said “aw thanks” at the same time, and again I fled the scene. As there are so many people, the shoot you have is super speedy. I advise really trying to keep your cool even though it’s a highly flustering situation. You don’t want it to become a total blur or something you regret, because it really is lovely to be next to them and quickly say a few words and get a keepsake afterwards.

My next activity was autographs and selfies with Natacha and Sierra. A super lovely thing. I gave them cards I'd written (as I also did for Rafa and Ronen the next day). Sierra was an absolute highlight for me. Just the warmest, kindest person. A total joy. She opened her card in front of me and I was like nooooo don't. It truly felt like she’d come to the convention for the opportunity to meet us, rather than the other way around. She told me she liked my outfit and said I look beautiful in pink. Similar to what I said to Rafa, I thanked her and told her I can’t imagine what it’s like for them to do this, expecting her to quickly say “oh you’re welcome” or something. But she started having a mini-philosophical conversation with me about the nature of fame and fandom! Then she said “it is overwhelming in the best way” because she gets to see the human heart behind all the messages etc (I’m paraphrasing). I said “it’s all about love” and she said “yes! It’s all about love, absolutely.” She was a true delight. And Natacha is a blast. She also complimented my pink outfit and I was like ???? Thanks????!!! Gahhh. The selfies came out way more flattering than the photoshoot. The lighting. Oof.

The last Saturday thing for me was the panel with Ronen and Rafa. It was quite brief but there were some real gems. Rafa saying he only has eyes for Tarlos. Ronen saying “Safe in their apartment holding on to each other. I think Carlos is TK’s honeymoon.” I melted. I let our an audible aww.

Sunday: The first thing was a Lone Star quiz in the panel room with Natacha and Sierra. They were so fun and such good sports. Then it was the Lone Star panel, where Natacha, Sierra, Ronen and Rafa were all on stage together answering fan questions. It was really nice to see them all interact, banter and laugh together. Sierra made a point of saying they’re all close in real life and hang out in their free time. There was a great vibe between them and such a good atmosphere in the room. I loved it when Rafa told Ronen that he was out of rhythm when it came to learning the pilot episode line dance; Ronen argued that he smashed it and there's video evidence. Rafa's response was "Sweetie, no."

I then had the autograph and selfie sessions with Rafa and Ronen, but because the Lone Star panel overran, suddenly Ronen had his photoshoot session instead, so I had a clash between going to that or staying downstairs for Rafa. I was trying to figure out what to do until the queen that is @actuallysara got some clarity from a staff member and we went up to Ronen, but by that point the upper level by the studio was crowded and chaotic. Be advised to prepare for disarray if you’ve never been to a convention before. It might be that you experience no scheduling issues or confusion, but just be prepared for the advent anyway. As it happened, I was through quickly for my photo with Ronen – again thanks to Sara locating the door! Ronen, hungover, was wearing his sunglasses, so I wore mine. He did a dumb pose without saying anything; I grinned at the camera and then thanked him and ran off again to get back downstairs where Rafa was still signing autographs. I got to tell him he plays my favourite character of all time and we took a selfie I really love ahhhh. Then Rafa had to leave for his photoshoot – which was my next thing – so I ran back upstairs and was one of the first in line! So I was like “heeey nice to see you again so soon…!” He remembered my name – I guess because he’d only just written it down 😅 I thanked him for the 10th time – just couldn’t stop thanking everyone like I’d caught a disease where the symptom is permanent gratitude. THEN I ran downstairs to do the autograph and selfie with Ronen, who was running late – so that got postponed to the afternoon after we’d already waited a long while. When it did happen it was great - I can't remember what I said to him but I assume it was polite and made sense – although a chaotic queuing system again ensued. A whole long line of us were crushed together in the heat. I had an Aperpol spritz after and when I tell you I’d never needed a drink like that more…

That was it for my paid activities! Unknown to me at the time, my final glimpse of Ronen, Rafa, Sierra and Natacha was when I was sitting on the floor eating Ritz Crackers while they were wandering past on their way to/from whatever they were doing next. It felt so normal to see them around at that point. We gathered for the closing ceremony, thinking we’d see all the actors on stage once more for a goodbye, but the ceremony had to happen without any of the actors because of running late. So, I cherish my ‘seeing them in the hallway’ memories.

Overall feelings and would I do it again? If you’ve never been to a convention before but want to, do go into it with open eyes: There’s potentially a lot of waiting around and standing in line for a long time in a hot space (sometimes the line is more like a shapeless crowd and you don’t know where it begins and ends). Some of the activities are quite rushed. They fall behind schedule easily and you have to be agile about where to go next and what to do. The Dream It team worked super hard and could do with employing more staff in stewarding roles, ideally wearing something that identifies them as such (the staff blended in with the visitors of the convention). But I don’t know the economics of their staffing situation so maybe they can’t grow the team. Anyway, having more signs up also would have been useful. When you do get your moment with Ronen, Rafa, Sierra, Natacha though – or whoever you have come to see – it really is beautiful and meaningful.

Right now, I’m flipflopping – but mainly I think once is enough for me, unless they come to a convention the UK. There’s a couple of aspects I’d like to ‘do over,’ but perhaps not enough to try to recreate the magic a second time, given the expense of it?? That might change over the coming months – we’ll see! I went to this convention with the goal of meeting Ronen and Rafa (with Natacha and a Sierra being a glorious bonus as I booked it long before they were announced as guests) to tell them in person thank you and I love you – and I achieved that. I do think it was worth my money, but it is very expensive and tiring. I was lucky to be in a good position to pay for it this year, which might not be the case going forward. You really need to be able to afford to do it, and genuinely want to do it, knowing you’re paying money for something that is going to have some hard and challenging aspects as well as the amazing and joyful. Personally, I love that I went once. I didn’t love the Super Endurance Test of 2023 that was standing in line for three hours on Friday after travelling hahaaaaaa god. I loved the selfies and autograph sessions. I didn’t love the photoshoot outcomes but I loved that I’ve had Rafa’s large hand on my shoulder because I'm slutty so. I love that I looked into both his and Ronen’s eyes and told them how great they are. I love that I uploaded my selfie with Rafa to my instastory and he viewed it, so there’s just a line of my friends’ names, then actuallyrafa, then a line of my friends’ names 🤣

I also want to note that in real life, compared to footage of them in interviews/insta lives/wherever, I think you get even more of a sense of just how different they are to their characters. It made me respect them all even more than I already did, which I didn’t think was possible. They are SO talented.

BUT most importantly: The reason why this was so brilliant was @actuallysara, without whom I wouldn’t have thought I could travel alone to Paris and do this at all. Sara, meeting you and giving you a big hug was also the dream. You are so helpful and knowledgeable and kind ,and once again your flags were a fantastic idea and I’m so happy I got to sign them. I hope I get to see you again very soon. Thank you from the depths of my soul. @meditating-honey-badger (and your fabulous companion…!) it was a true delight to hang out, and chill out, and have such funny and deep conversations. You are an absolute light and I loved meeting you. I hope so much to see you again too. Like Sara, it could never be too soon. And @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut. What can I say. What can I possibly say. I want to make drinking on rooftop bars while talking about writing our thing. I’ve never done that with anyone else. We really went through this side by side and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I already miss you and I thank you too. You are, in fact, the warmest doughnut in town. All of you, forever ❤️. You made it what it was.

(Digitally applied giant aviator sunglasses and some editing so the Tarlos duo photoshoot doesn't count as a face reveal. Thank you also to the lovely people who made bracelets and handed them out.)

[real-total-drama-takes]

ok so like. i know im emmater and everything and my whole gimmick is hating emma or whatever but sierra is the bane of my fucking existence. like take the things ive SAID about emma, double it by the amount of hate AM from i have no mouth and i must scream feels towards humans, triple that and it will barely equal 1/100th of the loathing and detestation that i feel towards sierra. she makes me so FUCKING mad i might just rebrand to sierrater or some shit. like ive said before that might be because cody is my favorite character. but guess what? I DONT CARE!!!!! she LITERALLY sexually assaults cody. MULTIPLE TIMES. MULTIPLE!!! the other characters in wt arent innocent either, they see him getting horribly sa'd on the daily and don't do ANYTHING. OR THEY USE IT AS A MANIPULATION TACTIC. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. i still like alejandro but that was absolutely fucking detestable. i hated him in that episode. i hated it. i hated it i hated it i hated it. how about we talk about the fact that cody thinks she can force him into having kids. how about we talk about how she kisses him without consent ALL THE TIME. i understand that she's a victim of neglect and doesn't have social skills but she should have a basic understanding of consent. ALSO SHE DOES THE SAME SHIT TO CAMERON. SHE DOESN'T LEARN ANYTHING THROUGH HER 2 SEASONS. coderra can not work in canon. coderra is disgusting. i hate coderra. also ive seen some people say "oh well cody deserved it for taking gwens bra" (braindead tiktok take) and that's fucking deplorable. first of all he did NOT take her bra she GAVE it to him WILLINGLY after he set her up with trent so he could win a BET. HE DID NOT. TAKE IT. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. and even if he did, he stopped asking when she said no. that doesn't equate to an entire fucking SEASON of sexual assault, manipulation, DRUGGING, guilt tripping and more. can we talk about the drugging scene. can we TALK about the drugging scene. that shit was fucking DISGUSTING. love me tea is DISGUSTING. EVEN THE CODY ALIENS WERE TERRIFIED OF HER. DO YOU GET IT???? THE ALIENS WHO DONT BELONG ON EARTH THAT ARE NOT ACCUSTOMED TO HUMAN AFFECTION, DONT HAVE THE SAME CAPACITY AND BRAIN AS US AND AREN'T LIKE US. ARE AFRAID OF HER. HOW BLATANT DOES IT HAVE TO BE FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND??????

in conclusion i hate sierra so fucking much and im going to change to sierrater if i ever return to these blogs

- @emmater

[circular-bircular]

The Benefits of Being an Octopus -- Perspective

It's that time of year again!

Each year, right at the end of the school year, we read a book in the 6th grade called The Benefits of Being an Octopus, by Ann Braden. It's a personal favorite of mine, one I reread again and again each year. And each year, the end of the book makes me cry those big crocodile tears, because damn if it doesn't hit hard for me.

I like to make posts about this book, though I haven't actually made it a tradition. I've only made one other post, about the phrase "suck it up" that's used in the book, and how it really felt impactful to me as a trauma survivor -- a reminder that I needed to face my troubles, rather than just avoiding them. It was powerful when I first read it, and it's still powerful today.

However, it's time to look at other aspects. Care to look with me?

Each year, when I read the book, I realize how different the kids are. My first year, the kids were... immature. There's really no other way to say it. These were kids whose last years of elementary school were stolen from them by a plague. They had no socialization at a very very fucking important age, and that fucked things for them in a major way. The next year, the kids were... well, disenfranchised I think makes the most sense. They did not give a single shit. They couldn't. They had bigger worries.

This year... The kids cared. The kids felt. The kids... feel a little too much.

These are kids that are well aware of the world around them. We read about the war in Sierra Leone and they didn't bat an eye; we discussed child soldiers and they made jokes about war, because to them, it was normalized. It was natural. In what world is an 11 year old desensitized to this? I had to impress upon them early that these things hurt. That these things weren't just readings, but true things people go through. And I think, by the time we got to BoBaO this year, they finally got it.

Each year, I have to explain that, no, the main character cannot just stick her food in the air fryer, because they can't fucking afford one. This year, I had kids explaining to me that the chicken nuggets would probably not be fully cooked in the toaster she made them in, and that could lead to her getting sick, and that's just another sign that being in poverty leads to further issues. These kids, remember, are 11. It's so vitally important for them to understand what people around them are going through, but they get it so well. I had kids opening up to others about their own trauma; one student discussed with her table how she lived in poverty, and how the only thing that helped her was her grandmother dying, because of the payout. And even then, that led to a discussion about how people in America can't afford to die.

Like... We can all agree how fucked up that is, right?

But at the same time, I'm teaching these kids that the abuser, Lenny, was abusive the whole time. They can't see it. They don't get it. That same child came to me and said that everyone was being too harsh, and that Lenny probably was hurting too, and that's why he lashed out. I had to very gently explain to her that abuse is never okay, even if there's a reason for it. And her heart was aching for that man, because in the end of the story, the people he was abusing left him. "How will he afford things now? Shouldn't he get another chance?"

I cut off my family in August. And these insights from the conversations I'm having -- about how the systems that oppress us lead to further oppression, or how people are still hurting and that doesn't negate the pain they've caused -- has really put a lot of my own healing into perspective.

It's a running commentary in the planning room about the kids we see growing up. Students spend the majority of their time with strangers they call teachers, and their parents rarely raise them. I think to my own experiences as a kid in school, and I realize just how... different it all is. And I wonder if those comments we have in the planning room were said about me. Particularly, "that's a kid whose parents are going to lose him." We say that frequently about the students who have helicopter parents. There's nothing we can do -- we aren't actually the parents of these kids, after all. But there's something so... insert an emotion here that describes what I feel when I look at these kids and see who I used to be. Like...

I see these parents, hovering over them, and I wonder, do they know that they're Lenny? Do they know that they're discrediting their children? Do they realize the amount of manipulation they're using, and how I am teaching these kids to recognize that? Do they know they will lose them?

Did Lenny know?

This year, more than any, I've gotten asked if there is a sequel to this book. And I always have to tell them, no. And they always respond with what they want from the sequel that isn't -- "Zoey escapes poverty" being a big one, or "I wanna see what Aurora is like when she grows up!"

I sat down one afternoon and thought about the potential sequel. I know what I would write, if I wanted to sit down and write fanfiction for this novel. I know, as a traumatized person, that Zoey's life isn't just going to be magically fixed... I want her to be a social worker when she grows up, someone who fights hard to protect kids from people like Lenny. I want her to be traumatized like me, but in therapy for it, and working hard to overcome her struggles.

But I also... weirdly want to see her siblings struggle. I want to see the bullying they experience. I want them to cut off the mom, who yes, was helpful, and yes, she tried her best, but fuck that, she still hurt them, she still neglected her children due to her own abuse--

And then it all gets fuzzy, because I hit too close to home.

And I wonder... How many students this year felt that too?

And I wonder... How many of you, out there, are feeling that right now?

Looping this back to syscourse (as I do often here), I just... wonder how many of you really understand that the things being said here about trauma aren't hypotheticals. That the things you cannot comprehend aren't just random accusations. They come from a place of hurt and inner truth, even if you cannot wrap your head around it. And that isn't to say some of you aren't traumatized!!! From my perspective, nearly everyone participating in syscourse is traumatized in some way, even by way of participating in these spaces. That counts. It always has.

I see so many posts each and every day just... showing utter confusion about the other side. "How could anyone think that? How could anyone possibly defend that?" And I just shake my head, because...

How could anyone possibly stay with Lenny? How could Zoey not see what her friends were going through? How did the mom abuse her, knowing what it would do? How could Fuchsia not tell anyone, how could Silas not explode, how could, how could, how could-

You aren't them.

You aren't these other people. You assume bad faith so often, just like the people in the story, and that's what led to them getting stuck. At some point, you need to push through, and the only way out is together.

There's a really good pair of quotes we focused on this year, and the kids really struggled with those quotes. One was a metaphor about a pond of algae. This isn't direct, but it's something like... "When you're stuck in a pond of algae, you turn green. It doesn't matter how many times someone tells you to stop." When... people are in that space -- when they're stuck in abuse, or they're in these angry settings, or whatever have you -- they mold to that space. No matter how often people explain that it's bad, or try to get that person out, if they are still in that situation, then they're in that situation until they aren't anymore. Telling people to stop being traumatized will never make them not traumatized. Telling people to just... Get With It? Won't work.

The second quote was something along these lines: "Sometimes you just have to have your back up against the wall to understand what you're made of, and you just haven't had that happen to you yet."

There's a lot of talk about oppression and prejudice and ableism and... lord, every buzzword ever in syscourse. But I feel like a lot of people don't get it. They don't understand those back-to-the-wall experiences, they don't see it in the people they're communicating with.

How do you get it if it hasn't happened to you?

Well. You do what my students did and you learn about it. You research. You grow. You try to look past the edge of your own nose, your own experiences, and see that there is a whole, big, mighty world out there, with people constantly going through things you couldn't even comprehend. And for fucks sakes, you listen to them. You acknowledge what they're saying. You realize that they are being true to their experiences.

And you stop calling those experiences into question when you express your confusion.

Learn to have your back-up-against-the-wall with them. Learn to find the wood for the raft together, instead of watching them drown in confusion: "Why don't they just swim?" you ask, but you let them keep drowning instead of helping. Help each other!

Isn't that what we want these kids to do?

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

The thing that surprised me when I first got into the fandom side of Shameless is that Fiona and Debbie will very rarely receive a nuanced reception for their actions (thinking about the things they do that are wrong and thinking about intent) whereas Lip's actions will always be handwaved away, even when he's 100% in the wrong. I still love Lip but it's led to me sometimes eye rolling at some of his scenes. Really the one's where he's screaming at someone about how wrong they are.

yeah… i love shameless and i love the fandom but they are both incredibly misogynistic, unfortunately.

*cue the man by taylor swift*

lip’s actions will always be defended because people think that he’s cool. debbie and fiona’s actions won’t, because people think that they’re bitches.

and there are so many pieces of evidence that the reason people (men) love lip and hate debbie and fiona is because of gender.

debbie or fiona could (and have) do the same fucked up thing that lip did and people react so differently.

for example:

lip trying to convince karen to keep her baby, wanting desperately to parent the child despite the fact that fiona warns him it’s a shitty decision because they can’t afford it, and for that, he’s stepping up. he’s mature. he’s brave.

debbie lies about being on birth control to purposefully have a kid and refuses to abort it despite fiona’s pleas because they can’t afford it, and she actually raises the kid all on her own, for that, she’s dumb. she’s a brat. she’s a bitch.

both of them were wrong. lip was wrong for telling karen what to do with her body and risking everything for his family for a child he wasn’t even 100% was his. debbie was wrong for lying to have a baby at fifteen (she was not wrong for not aborting franny, though. a lot of people think that she was, but i’m a firm believer in my body my choice, so it’s her absolute right to not abort her child).

debbie drops franny because of sleep deprivation and she’s suddenly the worst. fiona’s a drunk and suddenly she’s a bad character and a shitty person (she is a shitty person, but they all are). lip dropped his kid and is an alcoholic but he’s given the benefit of the doubt.

lip treats the women in his life like shit. probably because of monica. debbie and fiona get screamed at by him for honest mistakes (mostly fiona), mandy, amanda, sierra, and tami all got treated like shit by him when they were dating (tami doesn’t put up with it as much, though). and i’m not even necessarily saying he’s a misogynist, but he generally treats men better than women. and people are a little too okay with that.

all of lip’s actions are defended by how hard he had it, fiona and debbie’s aren’t. people will get really deep with lip, and explain how his every move is okay because his childhood was shitty. debbie and fiona are so complex also, and they literally had the same parents as lip, but people don’t like to get as deep and explain their every move with them (i do tho😉). every shameless character is complex. even the characters that aren’t as big. they all are complex and they have layers and if you look into them you can find a lot. people will do that with characters like lip, but with debbie and fiona they just kind of shrug it off. personally i find debbie much more interesting than lip but that’s just me.

if you’re going to defend lip because of how he was raised, you should defend all of the siblings. they literally grew up together.

and i love lip. i’m not trying to say i hate him, but if people are going to shit on fiona and debbie, then people should shit on lip, too.

i’ve said this before, but all of the characters resemble a role. they all have trauma and they all have different trauma responses. but just because they deal with it differently doesn’t mean that they aren’t traumatized.

i’m getting off topic as always lol.

but i wish that lip would get held accountable more. and i wish that people would go easier on fiona and debbie.

the show is called shameless. all of the characters are massive pieces of shit. to call any character except for like, liam, a good person is stupid because that’s missing the entire point. just because you like a character doesn’t mean that they’re an angel. one of my favorite characters is debbie and she’s a piece of shit. like she sucks ass but i also love her.

i’m unhappy with this post i might just redo it😭

[mermaidsirennikita]

a while ago i remember you talking about books that felt more like adult fantasy but the writers were probably pushed into ya because it's more marketable, would you say the revrse in happening nowadays or is it still happening?

I still hear about authors who say that their agents ask them if an adult fantasy concept could be aged down for YA, so I think that's happening, but probably not as much as it once did.

I also think that a lot of younger authors are living in a world in which YA fantasy is still king—and for A TEENY fraction of authors, it still is, right? I know of a couple YA fantasy authors who got BIG advances (and good for them, but damn they were huge). But they are very much in the minority there. However, when you're working on your draft, when your agent is shopping your MS, it's easy to get big dreams about how huge your book is gonna be. And it's also easy to twist that into something where it's like, if you don't get it you've been overlooked or betrayed or lost or are they outlier, when in fact you're in the minority in that you got a pub deal, and you're in the majority in that your deal isn't anything mindblowing. This isn't a "your lucky to even be tradpubbed" take, because I also think that putting tradpub on a pedestal helps no one. It's just how I see it.

THAT BEING SAID... I do think that because YA sales are still more trad-dependent than, say, romance (not a lot of teens have their own KU accounts, I imagine) this leads to the toxic idea that there's this AMAZING WORLD where your YA Fantasy makes you famous, and if it doesn't you've lost, and it leads to authors still conforming to the YA is King mentality and producing an MS that would probably work a lot better for adults while selling it as a teen thing.

I can think of one book that I will not name—I respect the author. I tried to read it recently. That book would have worked a lot better as an adult fantasy novel, to me. The heroine was supposed to be this big, heavy, powerful character, and her being the age she was, and her issues and the violence of it all being directed towards teens versus adults (and teens can read adult books and adults can read YA, let's be clear, I'm talking categories and character ages, etc here) felt weird.

I will also add—the character in that book ended up in a poly relationship. I did not find that super well-explored for the two men, personally. But I do have high standards on that front. And I've gotta say; it's not that teens and The Youths can't have poly relationships. But "poly" is not a sexual orientation or gender identity, and I find that sometimes saying "poly rep"... it's true! But it's not "rep" in the same way as "queer rep" is "rep", as "BIPOC rep" is rep. Because to be in a polyamorous relationship is to make a decision, right? You grow into and work into being able to have a functional poly relationship. It takes a special type of person and it takes a lot of WORK, and I frankly don't buy that anyone in their early twenties or below can do that work lmao.

Which doesn't mean they won't try, but when it's in a YA novel—I have NO problem with teens reading it. I'm just kind of like "REALLY. REALLY. A LONG-TERM POLY COMMITMENT BETWEEN 18 YEAR OLDS. SURE JAN." Like, come on. I respect poly relationships, I know poly people, TRUST ME. I think a solid poly relationship is probably one of the most stable types of relationships out there. But holy shit. Trying to sell me on people that young making it work and that being meant to be for them just feels like... WHY WASN'T THIS ADULT???

And hey, I'll say—as I write this, I know that I I love Sierra Simone's Thornchapel series, where there's an MMF relationship between people in their early twenties. BUT THAT RELATIONSHIP... lmao. The way in which the HEA was achieved speaks to how aware Sierra was that these people were MESSED. UP. Same with Lyonesse, which involves Isolde in her early twenties. If we're going to those spaces, we aren't in YA territory. Or even CLOSE.

I think there's still this idea that YA fantasy is more dignified than fantasy romance, and I think that comes from a certain type of YA author and I think it's toxic as hell and untrue. But yeah, I still think some of them are encouraged to age down or choose to, for practical or personal or market reasons.

Then again, I think a book like Road of Bones would've been made a YA novel ten years ago, and it's not, so YAY!

[purplemagics-blog]

DATING ART THE CLOWN HEADCANONS!!!🤡🖤🩶🤍

Your his

To his

TW/warning: bunch of gore and very intense descriptions of it!!, Art being a d7ck, bad language, alcohol use, mentions and descriptions of throw up (sorry), Art acting like a child, panic attacks and anxiety, Vicky slander (I hate Vicky and put a bunch of Vicky slander in the comments), masturbati0n with a piece of glass (from that one scene with Vicky), minors DNI!!, spoilers for Terrifier three and two! please tell me if I missed anything 

Bro, I love the Terrifier series but I swear to f6cking God if that little b7tch Sierra, don’t die in the next one I’m going to start tweaking out. I don’t like her she’s boring. She was much better in the Terrifier two movie. She just needs to die already. I swear to God the only thing that’s keeping me from not giving up on life completely is the fact that at least in the Terrifier movies in the future, Sierra will die.

1.) This man gets jealous for no exact reason other than he can. For a man that speaks zero, he shows 100. Honestly, even if a guy looks at you a certain way, if even if it was just a glance he’s heart is going to be inside of a jar and his heads going to be stuck on a spear.

2.) You get very very jealous of Vicky. Fucking shit you hated Vicky. You are so jealous of her and the connection she had with Art. Yeah of course you know Art is definitely controlling her but that didn’t make you any less jealous especially when you were having a very intense scene with art killing somebody broke into the place you guys called home. You both were just having a good time killing that man and making out. The feeling of his rotten teeth on yours making you want more. and you look over and she’s masturbating herself with a piece of glass?! what the fuck is wrong with that bitch?!!? You were so happy when she died 

3.) when you guys walk around the mall if he sees a mall Santa or like someone dressed up as a character from a holiday Pacific thing he turns into an actual child pointing and jumping up and down as if to say “SANTA?!!!!”

4.) if you got exes best believe their heads in a bag on your front door, especially if they’re the toxic kind. Once you were chilling with your boyfriend Art when you’re pathetic ex called you and begged you to take him back. Very much annoyed that you’re not got ruined you hung up the phone and pouted. In response Art left the abandon house you guys call home and found your ex. Next morning, you wake up and think Art is making bacon. Where did he find bacon? Who the fuck knows?? even you asked yourself that but when you look closer it was your ex’s skin…

5.) he does not drink but when your clowny ass convinces him to and he really gets in the mood he will drink like a sailor. Once he was so drunk you had to sit with him for half an hour as he throw up in a public restroom. (Headcanon no matter what he drinks or eats his throw up will always be a slime like black substance)

6.) His mood is up and down for no reason. One minute he’s basically worshiping you. All smiles and kisses. Next minute he straight up, ignoring you with that same pouty look that you adore.

7.) Tbh this man acts like a child. Whenever he makes a new weapon, he’s really proud of no matter what you’re doing showering, eating, etc. he will stop you whatever you’re doing Just show it off. 

8.) he would never ever ever even dream about laying a hand on you BUT- in the bedroom he will cut, bite, dig his nails into you etc,etc.

9.) he’s like a big puppy dog with murders intense. Whenever you’re busy doing something and you ignore him for too long he pulls out the ✨horn✨ and will not leave you alone until you pay attention to him.

10.) you were once one of his victims. You worked at a fast food restaurant where you walked in on him chewing your manager’s face off. When he first heard you walk in his first instinct, was to kill you but instead, he tried to chair and forced you to watch as all your coworkers got slaughtered one by one. Not really a way to start off a relationship, but oh well you love him either way and that one guy was getting on your nerves.

11.) you have intense trauma with your past and get lots of flashbacks and have intense anxiety which Art attempts to help you with that. Whenever you’re smashing things, having trouble breathing, etc. etc. he will try his best to help you in the worst way possible but that’s Art for you. Once you were having an episode and by the end, everything around you was broken and you were cuddled up on a dirty, bloody mattress hugging a dirty pillow. Art proceeded to walk in (a bit mocking like he was “scared of you” like the bastard he is) walked up to the bed and honked his ✨horn✨ in your ear. You responded by punching him square in the jaw. (I swear to God if he could talk, he would say “CRAZY BITCH!” LMAOOO)

12.) Yes you do feel bad for his victims. Sometimes you’ll see him killing somebody as they desperately and ignoring think that if they shout their loved ones names that will stop him. Sometimes you lay awake at night thinking about them and how their family would react.

13.) This man does not take shit seriously. Not one thing he takes seriously. Once you told him that you’re guy friend died and he proceeded to do a happy dance as in to say “THANK GOD”

14.) He LOVES cuddles. If he has you in his lap he will not let go no matter what. When you guys are sleeping together he will hold you to his chest. Honestly, it’s adorable have a guy that has killed hundreds, if not more of people is such a cuddler.

15.) Art like his partner’s chubby. More to love for him and more skin to touch and tease. (I may be a little biased because I’m a chubby person😖)

16.) you basically act like a mother figure to the little pale girl and it’s like Art is the dad you’re the mom and the little pale girl is the daughter.

Hope you guys really enjoyed this BYEEE!!

real footage of me in math class

Me trying to convince my nonexistent boyfriend to dress up as Art the clown- FOR EXPERIMENTAL PURPOSES!!!

[ethersierra]

3, 15, 19, aand 30 for oksamber

From the ask game here

3. Jealousy issues?

This is an interesting one. I think they both have a touch of jealousy but they know they don't see each other enough to warrant that response. Like she's a grown woman whatever she can see whoever she wants [*seething*]... It's always a bit like clenching their jaw and teasing the other but it's never anything serious so they don't get too upset. Usually.

I think Amber would be more petty but also sort of dismissive or impulsive? And tries to make Kodira jealous in return. It never ends the best.

But Kodira would be more direct I think. She would go up to Amber and ask about the person and super pretend to not care and Amber would be like bubba it's nothing just a little fun, nothing personal, and Kodira would be like. I don't see why you are saying it like that I wasn't asking to be jealous, (lying) and ambers like right so you wouldn't mind if they tagged along? And Kodira would be fuming like I don't see why there is a need to- and amber goes shit bubba if you're gonna be a pain in the ass could you at least take me to dinner first. And Kodira is like *calculation noises as she tries to figure out whether she is for real* .. . how does Sunday work? And ambers like Sunday should be fine (angry), fine see you then, fine.

That turned into a tangent and a half that I didn't know I had but I don't think I hate it. Also I've been awake for too long

~ Sierra went back to bed and then spent the whole day before coming back to this ~

15. Why do they like each other?

I think they like how well they get along even when they have their disagreements, they just know the chemistry between them is one they can fall back on.

In founders wake I think they remind each other of home. Of a time before. A time where they worked under the same sun and looked up at the same stars and ran along the same sand. They remind each other that before was real, the land was real, their homes were real. That not everything is gone, that some of it survived. They survived. Even if they turned out different and even if they had to grow apart to do it, they did it. That's the kind of bond you cannot break.

Aside from that.. well. Oksana likes how stubborn Amber is. It's annoying sometimes but she's just really determined and she likes that, when it doesn't get in the way of things. She likes how she's strong and agile and how she cares even if it's so begrudgingly. And yeah she likes her muscles.. and the stupid way she rips her sleeves off everything. She really respects Amber and her skills but she also thinks she's a complete dork who does really stupid things and she makes her so mad sometimes but she can't help find it endearing and that pisses her off. She likes how fully Amber lives in her own body, she does not fear taking up space or getting her hands dirty. She likes her gut instinct, her inability to lie, the way she asks Kodira to stay for coffee even though she knows she can't. She likes that Amber tries to get her to loosen up, tries to take her away from the stress of the job, but she knows she can't, not yet. There is too much work to do. So I think she likes that at the end of everything she's back on the beach with Amber, no god in her head or crew to direct. Just herself, her girl, and the stars.

Amber likes that Kodira is willing to get into fights with her. She likes that she's playful but also intense. She thinks it's cute when she stumbles on her words. But mostly she likes that she is so powerful. When they fight the blinksharks together and Kodira just flings it off her arm I don't think Amber had ever been more in love.

19. How are they at parties or gatherings?

Oh they're awful. Absolutely horrendous.

Let's start with the mixer that Kodira threw because I think we all knew I was heading here. She's a fine host but doesn't ever like loosen up, she is stressed about where everything is and if the dip is right and she just small talks with everyone throughout the night. Amber shows up and says hi then tries to avoid conversation with her the rest of the night because she's afraid of confrontation and she knows Kodira's gonna ask why she hasn't taken the biomass swarm job yet. So it's a lot of shenanigans as Kodira tries to gracefully find amber and amber finds any excuse to evade this conversation. It doesn't go anywhere.

But at other people's parties .. I think Amber convinces Kodira to come with her on her day off, or Kodira sneaks off her position to take Amber to them. I think the times get further and further apart the longer they're in founders wake. But they go and they suck at talking to other people cause Kodira tries to but oh shit this is not formal stuff and she has to dig through her brain to talk casually and she does Not know what she's doing but she tries and she's kinda anxious about it, but Amber fits in with the banter so well and it relaxes her and she just sort of sinks into her side and joins the conversation again in smaller bits before gaining more confidence. And I think Amber would get a little bit white girl wasted drunk on skunknuts, and Kodira would just be sort of tipsy from the wine n she likes the warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach from it. They stay in the crowd of people for a bit but they're really just focused on each other, the sounds around them are hazy and eventually they find themselves in a little corner talking and joking and flirting and stealing kisses

Other times they go to parties together, end up getting pulled in separate directions by friends and by the end Kodira's dragging a drunk amber out of there after she tried to fight someone's horseshoe crab dog.

30. When did they realize they loved each other?

Well. For Oksana, I have a special scene in mind that I want to write. It's on the shoreside. I'm saving it. Because the idea makes me insane in a really normal way I promise.

For Amber, I think she tries not to remind herself that she loves her cause what good do those feelings do making themselves annoying in her head all those days Kodira's not around. But she knows she does love her, cause she realized it a long time ago

And folks I hurt myself thinking this one up.

Amber realized she loved Oksana when she told her she had to go. Her girl was a big mighty Ballaster called to the defense of the city by a dead god.. she was proud. But that wasn't what made her realize. It was after the fact. After the first red light glowed over her forehead, after the ceremony and after Oksana had spoken with Hermine. It was when Oksana approached Amber after it all, and told her how they would have to go their separate ways, that she lost her, that Amber realized just how she loved her.

[td-brick]

Just for fun I've been thinking about a (gen1) td swap au lately and. I'm putting all my character notes here bc my art is probably gonna be sparse and i just want to post smth LOL. sorry for the flash my room is dark + i drew most of these in the dark too so they're a bit messy. Also the character assignments were done sort of randomly, some i already had in mind but most of it was just like. scrambled

the way i draw sierra is not consistent AT ALL loll anyways I've been really liking heatherra lately so this au in my mind is mostly centric on them. and as i wrote sierra is swapped with alejandro and heather is swapped with sierra and this wasnt intentionally done w them as a couple/relationship in mind but i have a specific dynamic in mind for them related to this

I think sierra's personality is like. Shes still as bubbly as she is originally, but shes less open about things if that makes sense? like she has more of a filter? anyways what i mean to say is that shes much more secretive and she knows that's an advantage to her bc she's a new contestant and the cast members thta have been on the show longer don't know much about her or her strategies. shes also able to make a lot of alliances because of how nice she is- it isn't as based on her looks as it was with alejandro in the show, she just has a certain charm to her i guess.

heather is also very similar to how she is originally, she still has kind of the same personality/traits. Although instead of being a superfan of the show like sierra she mostly just inherits her traits of being super good at finding information about people and due to her also having to learn and follow social cues super closely to keep her "popular" status, she's also very good at reading people and being able to tell when theyre lying and stuff like that. However I think she's a bit more open about who she is/her interests than she is originally, the way she keeps status here in my mind isnt entirely based on her appearance to other people but its like. her ability to find out everything about someone quickly is intimidating and scary bc obviously people don't want their shit being leaked so. yeahh

I think heather is super pissed off about not being able to know or find much about sierra, and obviously like i said she can read her but sierra is still anhonest person its not like shes constantly lying to heather or anyone on the show. and this causes heather to not have any power over her like she would with other contestants. anyways idk how to word this but. sierra knows this and uses it to her advantage and she and heather form (begrudgingly, on heather's part) an alliance or something yaaayyy

[latenightgasstationwalk]

There’s an old guy at my job who made my life hell for a while. I was considering quitting my job every day for months. It’s hard to explain but he’s just an incredibly hurtful person and says incredibly rude things and rationalizes it with new provocative philosophies like “sorry, I’m just honest” not to mention the various homophobic slurs I’ve been called pretty much everyday since I started here. Anyway, one day it was just me and him in the shop and we were replacing a windshield in a GMC Sierra and we got into a dumb argument that evolved into a huge fight and I freaked the fuck out and lost my Shit on him and screamed in his face. He pointed at my car and said “get the fuck out of here, get in your car and go” (it’s worth mentioning that this guy is not my boss, although he’s been here for 35 years, we’re at the same position, I wonder why.) When he asked me to leave I said “no dude because if I leave everyone else here is ducked because you don’t do Shit. You’re not my fucking boss stop acting like it, it’s pathetic” the fight went on for a long time and there was never an apology given by either of us. But it felt really good to lose my shit and air out like 6 months of hatred that I had been saving up like a shaken coke bottle

the difference in my daily life since that day can’t be understated. That guy does not talk shit to me or talk sideways to me anymore. In fact now that I think about it I’ve had a pretty serious fight with almost everyone I work with, all of which stemmed from being spoken too in a way that I would just never speak to anyone regardless of circumstance? Like some of the stuff that’s been said to me at this job is actually nuts.

My point I’m trying to make with this post is if there’s someone in your life making it hard, if there’s a genuine bully in your life, as silly as it is to admit there’s adulthood bullies in your life, don’t stand for that Shit. I love people and one of my biggest problems is I’ll let people walk all over me for years because I always see the good in them. Which I don’t think is an inherently bad thing, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, I believe in people and togetherness. But some people have insane habitual Abuse patterns that they lay on other people that are in positions of less power than they are and you can’t let those people reign over you. This Fucking guy let me think he was my boss for months. I didn’t know he wasn’t until someone else told me.

If someone needs to hurt you to feel whole, hurt them back, because they’ll be back for more.

[popstart]

Yeah you know what i'll send G1 for sexuality and gender HCs. why not

Alejandro: Ive never sat down and thought about this but bisexual seems correct.

Beth: I think ive always operated under the assumption shes lesbian lol. brady is SUCH a comphet boyfriend

Bridgette: I have a hard time seeing her as anything but straight I cant even lie? like i love wlw bridgette ships but not in a way that I wouldn't be unsurprised if they were canonically shut down lmfao 😭😭😭I really like the lesbian bridgette hc I just cannot get behind it in a way that aligns me with actually thinking bridgette would be a lesbian

Cody: I have no opinions on what I think his sexuality is but I cannot get behind relationships between him and girls

Courtney: LESBIAN. but i do like seeing other hcs for her. I see cases for her being bi, I see cases for her being straight. shrug emoji. I do really like duncney as a ship though which throws some wrenches in that hc just a little bit lmfao

Dj: I operate in a world where Dj is a lesbian even though I dont think i seriously think that. Its just how it goes

Duncan: i have a hard time seeing him as anything other than straight. like. im sorry this guy would be so homophobic. he would use the word gay as an insult. However, i do like aleduncan. so take of that as you will (its funny and makes me laugh) he has gay friends though omg🙄🙄🙄🙄

Eva: LESBIAN. yes its stereotypical. no i dont care. shes such a dyke

Ezekiel: straight??????? idk. this isnt even a "hes sexist so he would be other flavors of bigoted" I just dont live in a universe that I think ezekiel could be queer

Geoff: bisexual except i dont think he would label it. he thinks its normal for everyone to be a little attracted to the same gender. my friend that has only seen a little bit of total drama also likes him being a trans man which i mostly find funny but i could see lmao.

Gwen: lesbiannn. I really like the hc shes a trans girl as well, or nonbinary. im fine with either of those. regardless she is not cishet in any fashion. i genuinely think she is very very lesbian coded aligned because the way she behaves with men in the show is just???? so strange? i dont think it was intentional from the producers though which has me hesitant to mark it as actually "coded". Also i so seriously believe she was one sided crushing on courtney in all stars. why is she so weird. like im not a big gwourtneyer but wanting to impress a girl that bad teeters into "theres no straight explanation for this" territory

Harold: idk. trans in some direction. last year I remember seeing one of those your fave is posts and it was transbian harold and i remember laughing so hard bc i wasnt in the fandom at the time I had no idea someone would hc harold of all people as transbian.

Heather: trans girl lesbian though im less heavy on her being trans I just like it symbolically. saw someone forever ago say t4t gweather and I liked it a lot. her bald era was such an interesting look into her mind bc that is straight up gender dysphoria. I dislike aleheather bc i hc her as just so so lesbian.

Izzy: nonbinary unlabeled. she dgaf about labels so hard so im not gonna try to break it down either.

Justin: hes always given me gay man energy

Katie + Sadie: I love them as lesbian but i prefer them staying just friends (though im fine with the ship.)

Leshawna: Ive never thought about it. i think she plays a straight bff role very easily but she could be bi or lesbian

Lindsay: I prefer her as lesbian but I also like lyler in a way that has me thinking she could be bi. unlabeled maybe but lesbian aligned. dunno, I guess it could depend on the universe lol.

Owen: bisexual. ik this isnt "canon" but its canon enough to me.

Noah: Seeing people argue over this has me not giving a shit at all. bisexual i guess. i dont care

Sierra: i LOVE lesbian sierra. hill i'll die on is that shes a lesbian that made up a guy to crush on to try and appear normal since she has no friends in school.

Trent: i have quite literally 0 opinions on trent that are based on canon. hes a straight man

Tyler: straight to me i cant lie, but i like transfem lesbian tyler its cuteness