#they were on a co-ed softball team together
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Bully OC 101: Jamie Estevez [1 of 3]
A south Jersey girl with a resting bitch face and a growing love for chaos and drama, Jamie “Jam” Estevez spends most of her time in Bullworth trying to make the most out of being in a shitty town and a shitty school. Once the eldest daughter who had plenty of things going for herself, she had a meltdown over never being able to satisfy her parents’ growing expectations of her. She stopped caring, got pulled from several schools, and eventually had her rebellious streak land her in Bullworth Academy.
She’s a chaotic force to be reckoned with bleached blonde hair and an aggressive love for baseball, and takes a particular liking in giving people what they deserve. Willingly gets into fights with guys, more often carrying a baseball bat than not, and fiercely protective of her little brother Damien, Jamie can either be an extremely loyal ally or a nightmarish enemy. Choose your side wisely.
Clique Respect Ratings:
Bully: 40%
Jock: 20%
Nerd: 20%
Prep: 0%
Greaser: 70%
Townie: 10%
Fun Facts!
- Jamie’s favorite color is red.
- Her favorite baseball team is the Philadelphia Phillies.
- Jamie’s mother is a lawyer and her father is retired Air Force. Her brother wants to be an artist.
- Jamie’s goal after high school is culinary school.
- Her first impression at Bullworth Academy was pinning Trent to the ground and wailing on him because he picked on her little brother. She still has a few scars on her knuckles from his teeth.
- Jamie is 5’4”, fair skinned with freckles, and had naturally curly black hair. She started to bleach it blonde when she stopped trying to please her parents, but doesn’t keep up with the touch-ups. So more often than not, her roots are showing.
- Jamie is Puerto Rican on both sides of her family.
- Her two best friends are Pete Kowalski, and Azalea Collins (oc by @brins-rogers ).
- Jamie and Petey met around the time that she first transferred during their sophomore year, and they’ve been friends due to her willingness to constantly defend him from getting bullied. She easily became protective of Petey ever since.
- Azalea and Jamie were both somewhat new to the school around the same time, Azalea popping up not long after Jamie did. Originally Jamie expected not to get along with her due to her being Lola’s cousin, but they ended up clicking quite well through class and the occasional Greaser hangout. She affectionately refers to Azalea as “Freckles” rather than “Red” like most others do.
-Jamie played softball back in Jersey, but due to Bullworth not having their own team, hasn’t played since. She consistently tries to convince Burton to switch the baseball team into being co-ed.
- Despite this, Jamie and Ted HATE one another. The only jock she was on okay terms with was Casey, and that was only for Azalea’s sake until he started to neglect that friendship. After that, it was fair game to make his life hell.
- Jamie’s closest Greaser friends are Ricky Pucino and Johnny Vincent. Ricky because they bond over bikes, and Johnny because he offers to tune up her bike for free in exchange for keeping tabs on Lola.
- The Bullies back off from Jamie for two reasons. One, she can and WILL fight. Two, because Russell has a surprising amount of respect for her, only because she’s cool with Jimmy and refuses to hit a girl.
- None of the preps like her, save for Pinky because girls stick together in Bullworth. Aside from that? Not a single one. The closest thing to a prep tolerating Jamie is that she and Bif might nod to each other in the hallway. She considers him less snobby and is pleasantly surprised by his enjoyment of hip hop.
- Jamie hates Gary Smith. A lot. Like A LOT. They consistently bicker while in the same room and it doesn’t take much for her to want to swing on him. She threw a party the day he was locked up in Happy Volts.
- A girls girl, but also a firm believer in “I do NOT support all women, some of you bitches are very dumb.”
#bully scholarship edition#bully canis canem edit#bully rockstar#bully se#bully oc#bully game#canis canem edit#jimmy hopkins#pete kowalski#bullworth academy
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My senior year of high school I had a lot of study hall slots due to not taking classes other than the mandatory ones. I decided to take extra gym classes, and help out the gym teacher for fun, which she liked and was grateful for. She even came to expect it from me, and would ask when I didn't show up. It was a K-12 school, and up until 7th grade gym was co-ed, and then 7th-8th grade girls would have gym together, and 9th-10th, and 11th-12th. So I not only did my gym classes, but I'd also participate in 9th-10th because my best friends were in 10th grade. (I also helped out in several of the other gym classes, and the kids were really excited to have a 12th grader help out and be nice to them. They were such sweeties tbh) So these were completely optional, just to keep me occupied and get a little extra exercise in a fun way. The 9th grade girls were very petty and were always tearing each other down, and this extended into gym class. It was spring, and we were playing softball outside, and I'd been placed on the 9th grade team. I tried to, as a senior/12th grader, be a good influence and encourage them when they did well, or didn't do well but tried their best, and lead by example. It didn't work, and this one girl was especially cruel to all her teammates, even when they did well, and went so far as to make her own friend who'd hit a home run cry because she was 'trying too hard'. I decided I didn't have to put up with it and shifted to the 10th grade team on the next switch from batting to field. The teacher noticed and wanted me back on the 9th grade team. I was very polite to her, and I explained that I would prefer to stick with the 10th grade team, since the 9th grade team wasn't acting like a team and was behaving in a very unsportsmanlike way. She said either I go back to the 9th grade team or I go inside. I nodded and said, "All right, I'll go inside then," and I headed in.
Cut to two weeks later when she comes to me in the hallway and says she was surprised I was so rude and disobedient and hadn't apologized to her yet for my behavior, which confused the fuck out of me. She had given me a choice, and I took what I was comfortable with, especially since I wasn't getting a grade for participating in extra gym classes, it was all just optional and for fun for me, and that day I wasn't having fun and decided to remove myself from the situation when offered the opportunity. (How dare I have boundaries lol)
I responded "I have nothing to apologize for, but thank you for your concern" and continued on. I also didn't help her out the rest of the year and stuck only to my mandatory classes. It was one of the first times I ever really set a boundary and stuck to it. Suck it Mrs. Parker.
Everyone give me the most screwed up thing that has ever happened to you in the american public school system
#speaking#good lord it's a bit long sorry#honestly school was traumatic but that's one thing that stuck with me#and learning to set boundaries like that really helped
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[ request by anonymous: hello! could i request an imagine (or hcs? whichever you'd rather work with) with the kominabros from daiya and an S/O that plays baseball too but can't be on the team because she's a girl? ]
☆ previous imagine: ♡ ☆ masterlists: ♡ ♡ ☆ requests: open.
kominato ryousuke:
okay, so our tsundere is a little weirded out by the fact that you play baseball, and play it so well. it’s not that he’s jealous of your ability bc he could care less but he wondered why you attended Seidou knowing you couldn’t play.
the two of you probably met while you were practicing on the field while it wasn’t being used. you were batting while a friend of yours pitched. your skills as a batter were insane and he wanted to know where learned.
after he confronts you, he finds out that you learned to play in a girls little league team. soon after, you played on a co-ed team and even though you couldn’t play baseball at Seidou, he figured that the school must’ve been your district school so you had no other choice but to come here.
for the sake of everything, lets say you still play on a co-ed team! he’d watch your games as long as they didn’t collide with him. that’s also the place where most of his jealousy bubbles up from and honestly, you can tell when he’s upset or bothered.
you’re very close with some of your male teammates so it’s a given that when you win, some of them will come up to hug you. to make it an even bigger deal, you have an ex on the team and when he finds that out, he’s MAD pissed. he’ll watch and make sure that your ex isn’t getting too close to you.
he’ll kiss you and stare at your ex with those eyes that terrify his entire team. he above doing the dirty in your teams dugout just to prove a point but if you aren’t the type of person to do that, he’ll just give you a long hard kiss to prove it.
Ryou lives for the days that the two of you can practice together. it’ll be just as the sun is going down, the air isn’t too hot, and the two of you are just playing for fun. those days usually end up being some of his favorite memories and he’ll cherish them forever.
one day, he hopes he can see the two of you doing that with your children as well.
kominato haruichi:
our lil birb will be almost like his brother but he’ll have you around the team even more. he hopes that you and Kuramochi can get along. being that the two of you are very prevalent in his life, Kuramochi knows not to tease you as much bc of how much you mean to Haru.
sometimes Kataoka will allow you to play with the team, even if it’s just a practice. he sees the way you play with Haruichi and will see that when you do play, you take it seriously, and it’ll give the boys a run for their money.
if you’re interested in starting an recreational softball team, Rei and Kataoka will help you with it. Haruichi would bring it up to them and they can see how serious he is about helping you. Kataoka brushes it off meanwhile Rei will find it so adorable.
Haruichi is DEF the kind of boyfriend who will let you wear his jersey. he’ll let you wear it when you’re out there playing with the girls. seeing HIS number slapped on the back of HIS girlfriends back, it’ll give him serotonin for fucking days. he’s a lil possessive when it comes to you.
Sawamura will beg for you to let him play with you and Haruichi. in a way, Sawamura will become a close friend of yours bc of his relationship with Haruichi and honestly, Furuya probably gets dragged into it as well. the seconds years are bunch of idiots and they share on brain cell and the one who has it 99.99% of the time is Haruichi.
if he sees that you’re upset because you can’t play with the team, he’ll try every bit of him to see what the possibility would be for you to even be considered to try out. he knows it’s almost near to impossible but he’s hoping that they consider it, even the tiniest bit.
Ryou will see his little brothers relationship and for the first few times he meets you, he’ll tease the two of you but you know behind the facade, Ryou means well. you know the relationship the two of them have together so you best get used to Ryou’s attitude bc it ain’t changing just bc of you.
in the end, baseball is what bring you and Haruichi together. obv’s there’s other things that do but a lot of it boils down for both of your love for baseball and just like his brother, one of his favorite memories is playing with you. hell, I see him as the kind of person to do a public proposal at a Nippon game but those headcanons are for another day/ask.
ALITA
#daiya no ace#daiya no ace x reader#daiya no ace imagine#Ace of Diamond#ace of diamond imagine#ace of diamond x reader#kominato ryosuke imagine#kominato ryosuke#kominato ryosuke x reader#kominato haruichi#kominato haruichi imagine#kominato haruichi x reader#anime imagine#anime x reader#anime x you#anime#sports anime
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Astronaut Sally K. Ride's legacy – encouraging young women to embrace science and engineering
by Bonnie J. Dunbar

On June 18, 1983, 35 years ago, Sally Ride became the first American woman to launch into space, riding the Space Shuttle STS-7 flight with four other crew members. Only five years earlier, in 1978, she had been selected to the first class of 35 astronauts – including six women – who would fly on the Space Shuttle.

Sally’s first ride, with her STS-7 crewmates. In addition to launching America’s first female astronaut, it was also the first mission with a five-member crew. Front row, left to right: Ride, commander Bob Crippen, pilot Frederick Hauck. Back row, left to right: John Fabian, Norm Thagard. NASA
Much has happened in the intervening years. During the span of three decades, the shuttles flew 135 times carrying hundreds of American and international astronauts into space before they were retired in 2011. The International Space Station began to fly in 1998 and has been continuously occupied since 2001, orbiting the Earth once every 90 minutes. More than 50 women have now flown into space, most of them Americans. One of these women, Dr. Peggy Whitson, became chief of the Astronaut Office and holds the American record for number of hours in space.
The Space Shuttle democratized spaceflight
The Space Shuttle was an amazing flight vehicle: It launched like a rocket into Low Earth Orbit in only eight minutes, and landed softly like a glider after its mission. What is not well known is that the Space Shuttle was an equalizer and enabler, opening up space exploration to a wider population of people from planet Earth.

STS-50 Crew photo with commander Richard N. Richards and pilot Kenneth D. Bowersox, mission specialists Bonnie J. Dunbar, Ellen S. Baker and Carl J. Meade, and payload specialists Lawrence J. DeLucas and Eugene H. Trinh. The photo was taken in front of the Columbia Shuttle, which Dunbar helped to build. NASA
This inclusive approach began in 1972 when Congress and the president approved the Space Shuttle budget and contract. Spacesuits, seats and all crew equipment were initially designed for a larger range of sizes to fit all body types, and the waste management system was modified for females. Unlike earlier vehicles, the Space Shuttle could carry up to eight astronauts at a time. It had a design more similar to an airplane than a small capsule, with two decks, sleeping berths, large laboratories and a galley. It also provided privacy.
I graduated with an engineering degree from the University of Washington in 1971 and, by 1976, I was a young engineer working on the first Space Shuttle, Columbia, with Rockwell International at Edwards Air Force Base, in California. I helped to design and produce the thermal protection system – those heat resistant ceramic tiles – which allowed the shuttle to re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere for up to 100 flights.

Mike Anderson and Bonnie Dunbar flew together on STS-89 in 1998. They both graduated from University of Washington. Anderson was killed in the Columbia accident, in 2003. NASA
It was a heady time; a new space vehicle could carry large crews and “cargo,” including space laboratories and the Hubble Space Telescope. The Shuttle also had a robotic arm, which was critical for the assembly of the International Space Station, and an “airlock” for space walks, and enabled us to build the International Space Station.
I knew from my first day at Rockwell that this vehicle had been designed for both men and women. A NASA engineer at the Langley Research Center gave me a very early “heads up” in 1973 that they would eventually select women astronauts for the Space Shuttle. In the 1970s there were visionary men and women in NASA, government and in the general public, who saw a future for more women in science and engineering, and for flying into space. Women were not beating down the door to be included in the Space Shuttle program, we were being invited to be an integral part of a larger grand design for exploring space.
1978: Becoming an astronaut
The selection process for the first class of Space Shuttle astronauts, to include women, opened in 1977. NASA approached the recruitment process with a large and innovative publicity campaign encouraging men and women of all ethnic backgrounds to apply. One of NASA’s recruiters was actress Nichelle Nichols who played Lt. Ohura on the “Star Trek” series, which was popular at the time. Sally learned about NASA’s astronaut recruitment drive through an announcement, possibly on a job bulletin board, somewhere at Stanford University. Sally had been a talented nationally ranked tennis player, but her passion was physics. The opportunity to fly into space intrigued her and looked like a challenge and rewarding career she could embrace.
Sally and I arrived at NASA at the same time in 1978 – she as part of the “TFNG” (“Thirty-Five New Guys”) astronaut class and I as a newly minted mission controller, training to support the Space Shuttle. I had already been in the aerospace industry for several years and had made my choice for “space” at the age of 9 on a cattle ranch in Washington state. I also applied for the 1978 astronaut class, but was not selected until 1980.
Sally and I connected on the Flight Crew Operations co-ed softball team. We both played softball from an early age and were both private pilots, flying our small planes together around southeast Texas. We also often discussed our perspectives on career selection, and how fortunate we were to have teachers and parents and other mentors who encouraged us to study math and science in school – the enabling subjects for becoming an astronaut.
STS-7: June 18 1983

In January 1978, NASA selected six women into the class of 35 new astronauts to fly on the Space Shuttle. From left to right are Shannon W. Lucid, Ph.D., Margaret Rhea Seddon, M.D., Kathryn D. Sullivan, Ph.D., Judith A. Resnik, Ph.D., Anna L. Fisher, M.D., and Sally K. Ride, Ph.D. NASA
Although Sally was one of six women in the 1978 class, she preferred to be considered one of 35 new astronauts – and to be judged by merit, not gender. It was important to all the women that the bar be as high as it was for the men. From an operational and safety point of view, that was also equally important. In an emergency, there are no special allowances for gender or ethnicity: Everyone had to pull their own weight. In fact, it has been said that those first six women were not just qualified, they were more than qualified.
While Sally was honored to be picked as the first woman from her class to fly, she shied away from the limelight. She believed that she flew for all Americans, regardless of gender, but she also understood the expectations on her for being selected “first.” As she flew on STS-7, she paid tribute to those who made it possible for her to be there: to her family and teachers, to those who made and operated the Space Shuttle, to her crewmates, and to all of her astronaut classmates including Dr. Kathy Sullivan, Dr. Rhea Seddon, Dr. Anna Fisher, Dr. Shannon Lucid, and Dr. Judy Resnick (who lost her life on Challenger). With all of the attention, Sally was a gracious “first.” And the launch of STS-7 had a unique celebratory flair. Signs around Kennedy Space Center said “Fly Sally Fly,” and John Denver gave a special concert the night before the launch, not far from the launch pad.
Continuing the momentum
One of the topics that Sally and I discussed frequently was why so few young girls were entering into math, technology, science and engineering – which became known as STEM careers in the late 1990s. Both of us had been encouraged and pushed by male and female mentors and “cheerleaders.” By 1972, companies with federal contracts were actively recruiting women engineers. NASA had opened up spaceflight to women in 1978, and was proud of the fact that they were recruiting and training women as astronauts and employing them in engineering and the sciences.
National needs for STEM talent and supportive employment laws were creating an environment such that if a young woman wished to become an aerospace engineer, a physicist, a chemist, a medical doctor, an astronomer or an astrophysicist, they could. One might have thought that Sally’s legendary flight, and those of other women astronauts over the last 35 years might have inspired a wave of young women (and men) into STEM careers. For example, when Sally flew into space in 1983, a 12-year-old middle school girl back then would now be 47. If she had a daughter, that daughter might be 25. After two generations, we might have expected that there would be large bow wave of young energized women entering into the STEM careers. But this hasn’t happened.
Rather, we have a growing national shortage of engineers and research scientists in this nation, which threatens our prosperity and national security. The numbers of women graduating in engineering grew from 1 percent in 1971 to about 20 percent in 35 years. But women make up 50 percent of the population, so there is room for growth. So what are the “root causes” for this lack of growth?
K-12 STEM education
Many reports have cited deficient K-12 math and science education as contributing to the relatively stagnant graduation rates in STEM careers.
Completing four years of math in high school, as well as physics, chemistry and biology is correlated with later success in science, mathematics and engineering in college. Without this preparation, career options are reduced significantly. Even though I graduated from a small school in rural Washington state, I was able to study algebra, geometry, trigonometry, math analysis, biology, chemistry and physics by the time I graduated. Those were all prerequisites for entry into the University of Washington College of Engineering. Sally had the same preparation before she entered into physics.

As part of NASA’s commitment to the next generation of explorers, NASA Ames collaborated with Sally Ride Science to sponsor and host the Sally Ride Science Festival at the NASA Research Park. Hundreds of San Francisco Bay Area girls, their teachers and parents enjoy a fun-filled interactive exploration of science, technology, engineering and mathematics on Sept. 27, 2008. NASA Ames Research Center / Dominic Hart
Although we have many great K-12 schools in the nation, too many schools now struggle to find qualified mathematics and physics teachers. Inspiring an interest in these topics is also key to retention and success. Being excited about a particular subject matter can keep a student engaged even through the tough times. Participation in “informal science education” at museums and camps is becoming instrumental for recruiting students into STEM careers, especially as teachers struggle to find the time in a cramped curriculum to teach math and science.
Research has shown that middle school is a critical period for young boys and girls to establish their attitudes toward math and science, to acquire fundamental skills that form the basis for progression into algebra, geometry and trigonometry, and to develop positive attitudes toward the pursuit of STEM careers. When Dr. Sally Ride retired from NASA, she understood this, and founded Imaginary Lines and, later, Sally Ride Science, to influence career aspirations for middle school girls. She hosted science camps throughout the nation, exposing young women and their parents to a variety of STEM career options. Sally Ride Science continues its outreach through the University of California at San Diego.
Challenging old stereotypes and honoring Sally’s legacy

Sally Ride and Bonnie Dunbar are fighting outdated stereotypes that women are not good at STEM subjects. Creativa Images/shutterstock.com
However, there are still challenges, especially in this social media-steeped society. I and other practicing women engineers have observed that young girls are often influenced by what they perceive “society thinks” of them.
In a recent discussion with an all-girl robotics team competing at NASA, I asked the high school girls if they had support from teachers and parents, and they all said “yes.” But then, they asked, “Why doesn’t society support us?” I was puzzled and asked them what they meant. They then directed me to the internet where searches on engineering careers returned a story after story of describing “hostile work environments.”
Sadly, most of these stories are very old and are often from studies with very small populations. The positive news, from companies, government, universities and such organizations as the National Academy of Engineers, Physics Girl and Society of Women Engineers, rarely rises to the top of the search results. Currently, companies and laboratories in the U.S. are desperate to employ STEM qualified and inspired women. But many of our young women continue to “opt out.”
Young women are influenced by the media images they see every day. We continue to see decades-old negative stereotypes and poor images of engineers and scientists on television programs and in the movies.
Popular TV celebrities continue to boast on air that they either didn’t like math or struggled with it. Sally Ride Science helps to combat misconceptions and dispel myths by bringing practicing scientists and engineers directly to the students. However, in order to make a more substantial difference, this program and others like it require help from the media organizations. The nation depends upon the technology and science produced by our scientists and engineers, but social media, TV hosts, writers and movie script developers rarely reflect this reality. So it may be, that in addition to K-12 challenges in our educational system, the “outdated stererotypes” portrayed in the media are also discouraging our young women from entering science and engineering careers.
Unlimited opportunities in science and engineering
The reality? More companies than ever are creating family-friendly work environments and competing for female talent. In fact, there is a higher demand from business, government and graduate schools in the U.S. for women engineers and scientists than can be met by the universities.
Both Sally and I had wonderful careers supported by both men and women. NASA was a great work environment and continues to be – the last two astronaut classes have been about 50 percent female.
I think that Sally would be proud of how far the nation has come with respect to women in space, but would also want us to focus on the future challenges for recruiting more women into science and engineering, and to reignite the passion for exploring space.
Bonnie J. Dunbar is a retired NASA astronaut and a TEES Distinguished Research Professor of Aerospace Engineering at Texas A&M University.
This article was originally published on The Conversation, a content partner of Sci Fi Generation.
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Little Things Mean a Lot
Recently, Christon, a friend and classmate (elementary, middle, high, all the dang schools) posted a picture on Facebook. It was a picture of someone from our hometown. A guy named Jason who was in the Class of 1991, like Christon. I was in the Class of 1992 but there’s overlap and people intersect, which I’m sure is the case most places. The picture was from her 10-year class reunion.
The point is I have not thought about Jason in many years. I was aware that Jason passed away. I’m not sure how or any specifics surrounding his death but I did at least know he was no longer with us. But seeing this picture took me down a road of reflection. I reminisced with myself about Jason and was reminded of a couple of instances where he either very purposefully or inadvertently, I don’t know which, created refuge for me from bullying and shitty behavior.
Jason and I met and got to know each other when I was in 6th grade and he was in 7th grade. Our intersection was orchestra. I played the viola (adequately). He played the cello (quite well). Orchestra and band brought 6th and 7th graders together in one class unlike math, science, etc. But that tended to mean it mucked up your schedule a bit in other areas so you probably had another fucked up period when you were with 7th graders. For me, it meant I had to take PE with primarily 7th graders as a 6th grader.
PE at this stage of schooling was anxiety inducing regardless of the makeup of the class. It’s when PE went from being a fun co-ed special a couple of times a week to a daily gender-specific nightmare that involved showering, a PE uniform and a lot of locker room shenanigans.
Being a year younger than a bunch of other boys at that point in life is sort of a big deal. Some people are growing a beard. Some people look like babies. Some people have armpits that look like an untamed yeti. Some people have zero hair anywhere other than their head. What a fucking clusterfuck to ask all these boys to shower together. Jesus.
This is not a major reveal so you don’t need to buckle up but let me just say that I was not great at sports. As much as I enjoy being a spectator, the actual act of playing sports is not where I excel. I’ll fuck around with kickball and softball but I’m still not good. So no one wanted me on their team and I got taunted and teased a lot. Again, be it knowing or unknowing, Jason extended an olive branch and took me into his group of other boys who were also not particularly athletic in nature. Scrawny kids. Nerdy kids. The gay one (ones? I don’t know. Maybe. It doesn’t matter). It was a safe space and we just did our thing and tried to stay together.
The locker room was a different story and you sort of had to go your own way. Shower quicky, change and collect yourself. I don’t share this to elicit pity but thinking back on the awful things that people said to me in the locker room is challenging to reflect upon. It’s draining to think about all I was covering up and hiding and kept hidden as a result of name calling, giggling, pointing, teasing. Ooof.
But Jason was helpful and saved me from going to dark places. A safe haven in a sea of hateful, junevile bullshit. Was it blatantly hateful? Probably not (for the most part). The ignorance of youth is a real thing and I want to believe that as most of these people aged into adulthood they became less jerky. But who knows and it’s water under the bridge at this point.
It’s really powerful what stays with you upwards of 35 years later. To my face and knowingly, I have been called a f%g 3 times. I cannot tell you how much I hate that word. God only know how many times behind my back but that has no impact on me because I didn’t hear it. I remember the exact people and exact places where this happened. Once when I was in 7th grade. Twice when I was a junior in high school. Sadly all in Kankakee school district buildings but, again, kids say stupid things. The incidents in high school are particularly vivid memories. Thankfully one-on-one interactions as opposed to big audiences but nevertheless powerful moments that remain and linger regardless of the passing of time. I do not wish those boys (now 48-year old men) ill will but I do hope they are better men than they were boys. I also hope that if they have an LGBTQ child they treat them with nothing but love and respect.
Thinking about Jason has reminded me of how little I truly knew about him. I guess I would say we were friends but I never went to his house. He never came to mine. I don’t know if he had siblings. People come into our lives and leave them very haphazardly. I’m thankful for knowing Jason then and for what he did to help me through awkward times. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t look back on middle school and high school with hatred. I truly enjoyed that period of time. Most people in my personal class were very kind to me. Oddly, it was certain people a year older and a year younger who sometimes acted like assholes. We all have scars and wounds but I don’t think of myself as being scarred or wounded.
My point is this: don’t underestimate the power of a little gesture. That time in 6th grade when some guy named Jason who played the cello asked if I wanted to join him for PE warm-ups and to play HORSE has stayed with me a long ass time.
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He’s not my s/o, but basically, I was fairly new to a job and fresh out of grad school, so there were a lot of changes I was adjusting to.
I wasn’t really able to interact with anyone but my students and other cross-campus constituents much at the time due to the job’s demands, and I while I never let onto it, I was pretty miserable and really struggling with the environment I had found myself in. One of the women at work said she knew a couple people in the department played some co-ed rec league sports in town, so I decided to try one out. I picked a softball team I found that still had room for a couple of players and figured if nothing else, I’d meet some people and be able to get outside.
I got there and, since I wasn’t an experienced player, more watched and mingled with the couple people I had met before. I’m listening to one of their conversations and a guy I definitely hadn’t seen before stepped up to the plate. He had this easy confidence, was joking with the pitcher and one of the teammates, and the only thing I could think was, “Holy s**t. Who is that?” When I say he was gorgeous, I don’t mean that lightly. I know athletes when I see them, too--he was clearly a former baseball player and immediately hit a home run. I definitely watched him a bit more than I probably should have (I had on aviators, so it wasn’t obvious).
Pretty though he was, I kind of mentally dismissed it all because I figured he’d be another hot, cocky asshole. He had a little hint of that vibe on the field. I didn’t think I’d ever talk to him and just figured he’d be a nice scenery bonus for a little extracurricular I was already enjoying. I talked to more people and went home feeling a little better about where I was in life and a little more refreshed and ready to go back to work the next day.
The next day, I was training with someone at the front desk (you train with everyone at least once in those departments unless you get on as faculty) when the door opens and my brain about falls out my mouth. In walks Beautiful wearing a polo I’ve never seen fit anyone like that or compliment a skin tone so perfectly, glasses (girl, let me tell you...they were the exact right ones for his face and look), and up close, looking even better than he did the night before.
In an uncharacteristic burst of what we’ll pretend was confidence, I decided to introduce myself. He came back with a look, smirk, and line that pretty much drove it all downhill from there. It turned out that while we didn’t work in the same office, he was under the same overarching umbrella. So, we started seeing each other more. Talking more. The “hot, cocky asshole” stereotype I’d mentally assigned him faltered the more we got to know each other. He ended up becoming my friend and one of the only things that kept me going in that job for quite some time (though I realize in retrospect that wasn’t healthy on my end). I desperately needed a friend, and he was consistently there, open, honest, and just overall made me completely at ease and more optimistic about life. We really connected, and he was also the only other one there at the time who thought at all like me or shared any of the same beliefs.
We started hanging out more outside of work. He started “sneaking” into my office to talk. Conversation topics and boundaries got a little more lax. I’d instructed myself even before that to not catch feelings for him, but lo and behold...
I don’t at all regret the time I spent with him and I learned a lot about myself and what I want out of a relationship long-term in the process. I needed him in my life at that specific time to both help get me through the tough times and to learn some valuable lessons. I also want to be clear that we weren't together--I wasn't really sure what I wanted and he'd been through a breakup after something long-term too recently. We were friends.
Even still, he pulled me out of my shell in a lot of ways I never knew I could be pulled out of my shell, and his confidence was both infectious and stuck with me in my own way. I don't mean that to say that he had some kind of power over me--he didn't, but it was like he brought more of me out of myself in the areas I'd been too shy or insecure to address.
In the end it didn’t work out (hence the not my s/o statement), but honestly, I don’t care. I’m over it now and better because of it, but I thought the meet-cute would make more sense with the condensed summary.
tell me about meet cutes with your s/o !!!! or if it's a fictional scenario i don't care
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Grateful Dead Monthly: West High School Auditorium – Anchorage, AK 6/19-21/80

Forty years ago, on Thursday, June 19, 1980, the Grateful Dead played a concert at West High School Auditorium in Anchorage, Alaska. It was the first of three nights – and the band’s only visit to the Yukon State. This post will cover the whole run.

Anchorage High School opened in 1953. It was built during a post-WWII boom period just outside the western edge of the city, and then annexed. The school was renamed West Anchorage High School when East Anchorage High School opened in 1961. Until 1984, the West High auditorium was the largest event space in Anchorage.

The Lichter Brothers (Skip, George, and Andy) ran Northern Stage Company, an Anchorage booker. ” Skip told the Anchorage Daily News in 2017 that he pitched a three-night run during the Summer Solstice to Dead management “to get those guys to experience Alaska. The band was amenable. The Summer 1980 tour started in Tempe, AZ then moved to Boulder, CO for the Dead’s 15th Anniversary shows on June 7-8. After that, they visited Portland, OR (and played Fire on the Mountain as Mt. St. Helens erupted) and Spokane, WA, before making the sojourn North to Alaska.

The Dead arrived in Anchorage a week before the shows. The ADN article has a great description. Here’s an excerpt:
“Looking and carrying on more like a keg-league softball team than members of a rock group, the musicians and their entourage strode unmolested through the airport,” wrote Anchorage Times reporter Bill Kossen.
The Times reported drummer Mickey Hart immediately flew out to go salmon fishing, while Weir and keyboardist Brent Mydland took a flightseeing tour that included Mount Susitna and Knik Glacier. The Times also featured a picture of drummer Bill Kreutzmann gnawing on a big chunk of Columbia Glacier ice.
Lichter said that was just a start.
“We had the band up for a couple weeks,” Lichter said. “We had a lot of activities planned. We had a special dinner where we brought everyone up to the top of Rabbit Creek at Hash Hill and had a special dinner of salmon, halibut and caribou stew.”
Lichter said Weir and bassist Phil Lesh even went up in a radio helicopter to do a wacky traffic report from above Anchorage.
“On Tudor Road headed eastbound, in the area of Muldoon, everything seems to be moving right along, but traffic appears to be going backwards,” Weir reported flatly, according to the Times, adding the recommendation that motorists should “turn on your lights and honk your horn.”
***
Lichter said the band’s prodigious amount of audio gear was hauled up the Alcan in two trucks.
The crush of gear was not lost on [Lewis] Leonard, [a local roadie and] a self-described audiophile who said the walls of the West High auditorium were packed from floor to ceiling with all order of speakers.
“Literally, the room was kind of a speaker in itself,” he said. “It was incredible sound. I was going to drop acid, so I was out on a nice acid trip while I was working and it was really great. It was so good that I dropped acid a second night.”
The three nights are all good. 6/19/80 features an energetic Alabama Getaway opener and solid versions of Cassidy and Althea in the first set. The second set includes oddly placed versions of C.C. Rider and Peggy-O (one of only five ever played after halftime).
6/20/80 features a nice Jack Straw > Franklin’s Tower opener, as well as a unique mid-first-set Let It Grow > Althea pairing. The second set highlight is a typically powerful Estimated Prophet > The Other One.

6/21/80 is the standout. ICEPETAL at the Deadlistening blog even claims that show contains some of the best GD music of the year. There’s more setlist weirdness – a Sugaree first set opener, a Feel Like a Stranger first set closer, a Big Railroad Blues second set opener (only one of two), and a post-drums Truckin’. ECM says that Sugaree, Big River, Loser, Lazy Lightnin’ > Supplication, and Feels Like a stranger are the highlights of the first frame, and Big Railroad Blues, Terrapin Station, Playing in the Band, Truckin’, and Stella Blue are the highlights of the second frame. Ed was kind enough to send pics of the relevant write-ups from the Taper’s Compendium.


ICEPETAL echoes those shouts, and gives an extended description of the second set segment that’s worth repeating:
“As things get started in Terrapin Station, the music sheds all connection to the year in which it is being played. Sounding far more like a slice of 1977, this Terrapin calls to mind that strong sense of being gathered around a campfire as the band tells a story – something generally associated with other songs than this one. Nonetheless, the band is casting its hypnotic spell over everything. Gentle hands with flamed fingers caress our face and beckon us in. The door is shut behind us. We are safe and alone, as a grand journey begins with the solo section marking a point of no return. The music rises and falls on the trails of some great juggler’s balls. They change size and color as they translucently pass each other in the air. It’s a ballet of butterfly music in a dream that defies our ability to concretely retell the story after waking. The song reaches its zenith and crashes thunderously as the melody chases its own tail over and over. It gives nary room for a breath before materializing into the next song, Playin’ In The Band.
The Playin’ jam wastes no time stroking the fibers of the Grateful Dead’s adoring musical muse. Its power is awakened like a room instantly filling with a heady incense that reminds our ancient soul receptors of the essence of the eternal. Broken up into a handful of section, the jam begins immediately to unbind the tightly wrapped petals of the musical flower that held the formal part of the song together. It’s like a flower slowly waking to starlight. While the tempo of the song churns along, there is a widening space between the beats, into which cosmic oceans gently lap to the shore. Garcia goes right for his auto-filter wha pedal and calls up a nearly invisible web of energy that drifts and turns in unseen air currents. Everything takes on a distinctly three dimensional aspect on the audience recording, all of the instrumentation finding its natural place in the landscape around us.
After a short while Garcia’s pace quickens, and he’s running staccato lines in a musically choreographed dance of twirls, swoops, and back bending joy. The energy of the band tightens around Jerry, and everything takes on the sense of wild horses galloping across moonlit countryside, not unlike the energy we hear in Playin’s from 1972. We flow endlessly over hills which quietly rise and fall at random intervals like the deepest ocean shedding a storm’s energy reserves. What seems like hours later, the band emerges into a more subtle pasture where sounds begin to crackle and shimmer like the air around us is condensing into sporadic forms just out of reach. Slowly these sounds, which could have previously tricked our mind as not possibly coming from the musicians, fill all of our aural space, and we’ve somehow been cast a million miles away from whatever concert we thought we were attending. Great suns are rising and setting. Clouds form into mountains, then into lightning, then into thousands of turning flowers. And on and on it goes.
A molten lava-like creature is stirring. It’s skin ripples with glass sharp scales as it transforms to fill our entire field of senses. Blaring a white hot cacophony of wicked colors which gush out like an uncapped torrent, the band drives deeply into a completely frenzied expression of Space, and leaves us powerless to defend anything as we slip into Drums.
The Space which then returns after Drums is breathtaking. It’s as if we have walked right back into the pre-Drum chaos. Nothing sounds done out of routine, whatsoever. By no means is the band just playing some weirdness because this is where it fits in the show. The music is doing things which defy all the laws of physics completely. Steal your face right off your head, indeed. There’s little sense in trying to describe things more accurately. This Space leaves you completely transformed. As it fades off, Phil can be heard hinting at Dark Star (no WAY!). Instead, the band turns on a dime into Truckin’ and the entire concert has returned around you. As if from a wormhole in another dimension, we are dropped back into something far more familiar to our human experience. There are people clapping along, hooting and hollering. The music dances. The band is playing back on a steady 4/4 beat. My God, where were we?
Truckin’ over delivers in most every way imaginable. When they hit the big power chord after the long triplet ramp up section, a shock wave erupts over the crowd. Just before this note there is a fraction of silence, which is common to all Truckin’s at this moment of the song. But it is somehow more this time. Perfectly executed, the entire band absolutely stops together, and hits that chord in perfect unison – a classic moment where we can hear more in the space between the music, than in the music itself.”

After the show, the crowd wandered out of the auditorium and into the daylight. Summer Solstice, indeed.

Alas, the Alaska shows are not official releases, so there’s no Spotify widget. Instead, you can check out all three shows on the Live Music Archive.
Transport to the Charlie Miller soundboard remaster of 6/19/80 HERE.
Transport to the Charlie Miller soundboard remaster of 6/20/80 HERE and the Hunter Seamonds matrix recording HERE.
Transport to the Charlie Miller soundboard remaster of 6/21/80 HERE and the Eddie Claridge matrix recording HERE.

More soon.
JF
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If you’re referring to American football, then no. In a high school setting, it really doesn’t exist as an official school sport. There are occasionally club sport options for females or co-ed flag football opportunities.
Hypothetically, if you were going to have a female on the [American] football team (which would be all boys or men), it’d be best to have her be the kicker since it’s a less-contact role and she’d be less likely to take hard hits from much bigger, stronger, male players. Plus, she could potentially make a decent one if she were a pretty good soccer player or something.
Football is one of the few sports that really doesn’t have a female equivalent in schools. Both boys’ and girls’ teams exist for soccer, baseball and softball coexist, boys’ and girls’ tennis, track, etc. Girls’ wrestling teams have started to become more of a norm, but they wisely wrestle other female opponents instead of males.
The problem with football is that it’s a heavy-contact sport. It’d be one thing for young kids to play together on a co-ed team, but that’s starting to be an extremely unwise decision once biology really starts kicking in.
I was a female martial artist and lifted a lot of weights back at that time, and I would’ve never wanted to truly compete against my male peers. Training with them was fine--it genuinely makes girls and women stronger and tougher. I think it’s absolutely necessary for girls and women to train with boys and men in that kind of sport so they can actually understand how to defend themselves, and you'll see a MASSIVE difference in the women who do train with men and those who don't. But sports are gender-segregated for a reason, and a very good one at that. Female athletes are able to shine through their own physical prowess on an even playing field. Physically, we’re generally at massive disadvantages compared to male athletes.
It could happen that a girl ends up on a boys’ team in high school, and people who don’t know or understand the physicality of sports will celebrate it. Everyone else will be biting their nails. Even having her as a kicker would be a little controversial not because female athletes aren’t recognized for their hard work and prowess, but because nobody wants to watch a teenage girl get bulldozed by a 210 lb. lineman (even if he’s being somewhat of a gentleman and massively dialing back his power).
I worked with a lot of athletes at the collegiate level, and sometimes, I would talk with incoming freshmen (prospective first-years who were in their senior years of high school). Not only did a lot of those teenage boys--still technically kids or so barely legally adults that they might as well still be considered kids--tower over me while being about two of me wide, but looked closer to twenty-five.
It would be disturbing to most to watch a girl their same age on the field with them. Especially in regions like the South and Midwest where [American] football is a huge part of American high school and college culture, you won’t find many parents or administrators who would be onboard with a female playing on a male team. There are, however, plenty of other wonderful roles she could take on if she wanted to specifically be involved in football.
If you’re referring to soccer and not American football, then that’s easy: girls’ teams are everywhere in American high schools and they do great!
An all-female American football team wouldn't really have any competition at the high school level yet. They might be able to find it in a club sport option.
If you have any more questions, I'm happy to help however I can.
For anyone who grew up in the USA, I was posed a question by one of my fellow, non-American irl writing friends that had me thinking. For high school sports, is football truly the most common option and furthermore, is there never any girl's teams as well? Would it be realistic to write a teenage girl who was a football player and that was not controversial or would an all female football team turn heads? For context, where we grew up the main sport was rugby and there was always women's and men's teams, especially in high school.
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Casey’s Kids...
5 years ago I started on a journey that I had no idea I needed or how it would end. It was 2014 and the Poker boom was ending. This is important because the previous 8 years of my life was consumed with poker. Some weeks I would play it 5 different nights, now I was lucky to find a place with good people to play it once a week. So to say the least, my calendar was wide open. With nothing to do, I was starting to fall into a rut.
Thankfully, Cory Rush and Kyle Willis started talking about playing softball. Having been involved in sports all my life, I was interested. This is one of the life lessons. Even though I was physically unable to play sports, I had spent my life being involved in them none the less. In middle and in high school I was manager of both football and basketball teams, upon graduating high school, afterwards I spent 3 summers coaching AAU and MAYB basketball before interning at Wichita State athletics and 3 different departments. But since graduating college, I had done nothing in sports. Definitely a void in my life. So I ran with the idea and volunteered to put a team together.
This took a lot of work and a little luck. I scoured facebooks and other softball sites for people looking to join a team. I even posted an ad on Craigslist. I was determined to make a team. Yaaayyy I did it! Then upon signing up, I was told the league was full but they had room in co-ed. Well crap! There is no way I know enough females that would be interested in softball. Thankfully, one of the guys that I found-Leon, offered to find us girls. And like that, 3 days later we were entered into co-ed rec softball.
This is just the beginning of the journey. Our first season- summer of 2014, was a disaster. Many a Fridays I spent all afternoon trying to find enough replacements to fill up a team for the night. Thankfully, Candice and Leon had enough connections that we never had to forfeit. But we were bad! Somehow we did manage 2 wins that season but I knew I couldn’t sustain a team like this. This is when I decided to start using my new connections and made a team that I felt would be more competitive and more likely to show up. At this point, I had to not invite Leon back to the team. This sounds bad, but we’ll circle around.
Fall ball that year was starting to get better. Were we competitive? Not really-but at least I only had to find usually one sub a week as opposed to 3. But during these 2 seasons, I really started to make connections and people were starting to ask to be part of my team.
2015 all year (spring, summer and fall) was the same. We started doing some tournaments and networking more. 2015 was a fun year but I still had to be honest with myself, I wasn’t happy. It’s not an insult to anybody, everybody was great. I loved that team. But I'm competitive but not crazy competitive. What I mean by this, if I was going to play softball, I wanted to play softball. If I wanted to drink, I would go to a bar. I had fun hanging out with everybody but the competitive side of me hated losing because half my team would rather drink than play. So I started internal discussions with myself on what I could do.
Thanks to all of my network, by the time 2016 came around, I was able to put out a competitiveish co-ed team. I had a couple girls--Angie and Sandy who were absolute beasts. And my guy pool was getting deep. I had to start turning away guys who wanted to play. Finally, it dawned on me, do 2 leagues. Men’s and co-ed. Before I knew it, I was running 2 teams. Now we’re going to take s quick break to teach a very valuable business lesson.
Prior to 2016, my team had been the Grand Salamis. But after a discussion Sarah Kennedy suggested we rebrand the team Casey’s Kids. At he time it wasn’t thrilled, but everybody loved it so it was sold. Anyways, the business lesson.. with the new branding, we needed new jerseys. So I went my shirt guy. He had made 2 other jerseys for us previously and I felt good about his business. I made a big order as I needed jerseys for co-ed’s and men’s. Made the order and decided like an idiot-- to pay the whole bill instead of the half that was required. Needless to say, he went out of business and I never got our jerseys or the money back. My naiveness cost me $450. But I always admit my mistakes so I still refunded all my players. They trusted me with their money so I had to come thru. Since I couldn’t get jerseys I knew I had to repay them and I did. So important lesson, never pay the whole bill until delivery of the product. I knew that but I trusted the dude. Lesson learned now though.
By the end of 2016, I was really starting to get burned out. Honestly, I knew whaat I had to do. I had to drop co-ed. 2 reasons-- 1. every week I had to find replacements. I sleep in late so my window to find subs was smaller than it would be for most. I couldn’t spend 4 hours every Friday on Facebook looking for subs. B. Competitiveness. I’m not trying to bad talk anybody, I enjoyed our parking lot gatherings, but the competitor in me wanted a team who wanted to win as bad as I did. Now, I’m not saying I have too win in order to be happy. I grew up in Ark City, I got use to losing, so I’m alright with that. But what I am not alright with is laughing and drinking while we get beat by double digits.
After some soul searching and talking to some of my more connected players--Cory Skov, Braylan Nussbaum and Kelly Webster, I was convinced I could make a men’s league team that had the same principals as I did. But before I would go all in, I was willing to give co-ed one more chance. But the end of spring ball, I was finally washing my hands of co-ed. It just wasn’t making me happy. So that summer I put together a team with a lot of help from the 3 before mentioned players. I finally felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Even though it was my team, others like the mentioned, would help me find subs if we needed. I finally had guys who wanted to win. Now 2017 was a year to get my footing. Wichita softball does a real bad job of separating rec and competitive. You might think you're rec, which we were, but due to no separation-- you get to play competitive teams. We could beat and hang with half the league, but the other half would embarrass us.
Now we enter 2018. I am now determined to build a true contender. Spring ball was a disaster, I was still trying to recover from my sickness in March, and we had so many rainouts. We played all the way into summer. With all this going on, I able to take care of myself because I knew my players would take care of themselves, and they did. Whenever you have as many rainouts as we did, you can expect quite a few players missing make up games. With this came the opportunity to find new players. These new players would mesh right away and were asking if they could play summer ball with us. For the first time in Men’s I had too many players. It is a nice problem to have. Not only did I have too many, I now had great players. Now summer league we finished 14-2, with only 2 losses coming to the team that won the league. Unfortunately, both times we played them, we were severely undermanned as I was still having health issues and missed quite a bit of the season. When I miss, Rush has to miss as well. I was finally happy with my softball product. But then I had to make the toughest decision I have made when dealing with softball. I knew I had to take fall ball off so I could focus on my health and more importantly Spinraza treatments. It was hard to do this because I didn't want to lose my team.
This brings me to today. By the time January rolled around, I had both Braylan and Stewart asking me if I was going to do softball again. I was really starting to get my strength back so I said if we can get enough guys--heck yeah! And just like that-- everybody that had played with me sometime the year before, was back again. We even added a couple of guys. It really touches my heart that this team and all these great players --who I'm sure were asked by others-- wanted to wait and play for me. This team is special, let me introduce you to everybody.

Left to right. Cody Knuth, Braylan Nussbaum, Sean Zuniga, Tane Murphy, Stewart Jordan Hoover, Cory Rush, Josh Tucker, Alex Cavender, Kelly Webster, Lyle Powers and Brandon McBeth. Not pictured is Cory Skov and Vincent DeLaurentis. We will also be picking up Andrew Tapia, Ryan Westmoreland, Danny Rodriguez, Zac Villalpando and Brad Perkins for Summer Ball. With this group we are going back to 2 leagues. Friday and Sundays. To say the least my weekend starting in June will be booked. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now the jerseys I have had a lot of comments on how good they look. The credit goes to Braylan all the way. After my dealings back in 2016, I haven’t had the courage to try and order jerseys again. Thankfully, Braylan stepped up. He knew a guy who could do it and Braylan designed them and got them made. I know people not even on the team have asked about them. If you want to order one, let Braylan or I know and I’ll see what we can do.
Now, another circle back, the team name. When Sarah came up with it, I know it was out of respect and I really do appreciate it but being a disabled individual, sometimes I get unwanted attention or respect. What I mean by this- I want to be just one of the guys. Not necessarily the inspiration. For those of you not in this position will think that sounds like a jerk thing to say, I’m not trying to be a jerk, I totally understand the respect and I appreciate that. Its just sometimes how I feel. Now that I got that off my chest, I am so thankful for this name now. I truly feel this is my team. We are now a family. We all get along with each other. In between games we are all together hanging out, not going our separate ways. This makes me so proud to call this group my kids lol. I don’t know how that works for Lyle since he’s way older than me, sorry-- I had to.
Before I end this, I want to reiterate the 3 life lessons. 1. The simple one, don’t make payment until you receive the goods. B. Don’t be afraid of chasing your happiness. I knew I wasn't happy when it started so I made the right moves to get me there. Along the way I might have made a few people upset and for that I am truly sorry. Now I'm not saying forget everyone else, do you-- no, you should always be nice to others but sometimes you have to worry about your own feelings too and make adjustments. Just try to do it in a honorable way and be sure to apologize if feelings are hurt. III. Family. Its the greatest thing we have. They’re the ones that will be there the most when you need them. Don’t be afraid to have multiple families. I do. I have 3 and I love them all. Thank you guys for becoming part of my family. I can’t wait to win our first championship this summer. No pressure lol.
I’ll be back next with who knows. Hopefully my Avs can bounce back and win the next 3 games. Everyone have a good first weekend of May and don't forget to watch the Kentucky Derby.
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Elise Cooper interviews Julia London
The Billionaire in Boots and A Royal Kiss & Tell by Julia London are the latest two books that show why she is “Queen of the Banter,” writing family-focused funny and endearing tales with snappy, witty, and teasing dialogue between the hero and heroine.
A Royal Kiss & Tell has some very funny moments as the hero, Prince Leopold and heroine, Lady Caroline Hawke argue and confront each other. For example, Caroline says to him, “given that your feathers have flocked together with his. I’d rather be vain than ill-mannered like you.” His response, “I am unaccustomed to being so completely contradicted every time I speak. Do you treat every gentleman of your acquaintance in this manner, or do you reserve this behavior solely for princes? As evidenced, Prince Leo becomes apalled that Lady Caroline cannot hold her tongue, conforming to societal norms of the time.
This is the backdrop as both return to London where he and Caroline’s brother, Beckett, become best friends. The prince is returning partially to investigate a human trafficking ring, which he was told about. Unfortunately, as he secretly talks to maids to help them escape, wrong intentions are implied. This is where the mystery begins, how is he to expose those involved in sexual slavery and save the girls? He has no other choice then to turn to Caroline for help who completely goes all in. In addition to working together to free the girls, they realize that they have more in common and a secret budding romance begins.
Caroline’s ability to be the center of every man’s attention allows her to use her assets to find the girls, but also draws Leopold into her charms. She can be selfish, shallow, and self-absorbed, but also vivacious, charming, and self-assured. The Prince feels sorry for himself, being the second son who sees himself as useless and unappreciated. But when approached to help, he acts and shows that he has a backbone.
The Billionaire in Boots also has a lively dialogue, a sassy heroine, and a hero unsure of himself. But instead of having a royal environment this plot has a western cowboy theme. A scene in the book shows how these two butt heads. Nick, the hero tells the heroine, Charlotte, “I’m not actually the grim reaper.” She asked him why he was at the bar, “Shouldn’t you be at your house staring at a rescue cow or something?” His response, “The cows are down in the valley. I wouldn’t be able to get a good look.”
Nick also feels unappreciated and not able to make a useful life for himself. After his father died, he had to take over the cattle ranch, which is something he never wanted to do. He gave up his dream to become a commercial pilot. He is a cowboy who loves the ranch but doesn’t want to run the ranch, but knows he has to help get it out of financial disaster. He put everything aside for duty. But he was not alone because Charlotte was the office manager who knew far more than he did. She also has a dream, to settle down with her prince charming and raise a family instead of being a career-oriented person.
All the heroines seem to have a common characteristic: smart, direct, charming, and know what they want out of life, and Charlotte is no different. Nick, as with the other heroes are thrown into a life they would not have chosen for themselves and rely on the heroine to help them find themselves.
Both stories include tenderness and humor throughout. They involve a love/hate relationship, passion, and characters somewhat at odds with societal norms. The snappy sarcastic dialogue moves the story along allowing readers to laugh, smile, and cry with the characters.
Elise Cooper: The Billionaire in Boots cover of a black lab is so cute. Is that your dog?
Julia London: I have yellow labs. I am on my third, Moose. I wanted the dog in the story to be a lab because I love them so. But I have to say that my current one with the quarantine is driving me nuts. He is almost eleven and has forgotten the rules. Moose was the basis for the dog in the story, Rufus. He has done some of the stuff done by Rufus. For example, the scene where the dog walks over everything, this is definitely Moose. My labs have always been goofy.
EC: Nick could not pursue his dream?
JL: I really like the idea of people who have a dream and for whatever reason cannot pursue it. I have known people in my life who thought they were going to do something else and that did not happen. I also like that it would make the hero grumpy.
EC: How would you describe Nick Prince?
JL: Obviously grumpy, but also disgruntled and feels like he got the wrong end of the deal. He has a good heart. Nick is a loner which is why flying is so important to him. He could see the world without family and responsibilities. I think he is resentful of his father and family who never considered what he wanted.
EC: How would you describe Charlotte?
JL: Bubbly, rock solid, someone everyone can rely on. She has ambition, but it is a goal toward happiness. She wants the whole nine yards of a husband and children. My oldest sister was like that because all she wanted was to be a mother and wife. Charlotte is self-assured and was emphatic that no one would tell her how to lead her life.
EC: How would you describe the relationship?
JL: It was a slow burner. I like that it developed over something other than a physical attraction. Having worked together they know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. There were no surprises. I really like this idea of office relationships.
EC: The scenes with the dating apps were hilarious?
JL: I hear a lot that the descriptions and pictures do not match what the people put on site. I know a lot of people who did meet through an app. I also went on the sites to see how people presented themselves to the world.
EC: There were a lot of references of the author Harlan Coben?
JL: I am not a friend of his, but I think after all those mentions in my book he should be my friend now. LOL. I wanted an author that both males and females would read. I have read a couple of his books and thought he would be the perfect author for the entire family to pass the book around.
EC: Softball plays a role?
JL: I was in a co-ed softball league in my thirties. I always have been sporty, but not really good at softball. I played 2nd base and the outfield. I stopped playing after I nailed the 2nd baseman with an errant throw from the short outfield position. No one was sad to see me go. I am much better at volleyball. Now I don’t play team sports, but do love to go on biking vacations.
EC: Is this book the last in the series?
JL: Probably, because all the loose ends were tied up. I did love creating the entire dynamic of the Prince family. I think I am done writing cowboy stories for a while.
EC: Let’s talk about your other book, A Royal Kiss & Tell?
JL: All the princess series has women from different levels of society who get their own prince. I never wrote them as wall flowers. They are their own women who can speak for themselves.
EC: How would you describe the heroine, Caroline?
JL: She wants to be a dress maker. She is beautiful and is not humble about it. I love this about her. She can be aggressive but does wonder if people love her for who she is as a person. She can be self-centered, vain, but also spirited, confident, and sophisticated.
EC: She is direct?
JL: Yes, I wanted her to stand up for herself. It is OK for male characters to be like an alpha, but when it’s the female character it upsets people. Why? She has every right to be as sure of herself as her brother and the prince.
EC: Speaking of making dresses-did she make the dress that is on the book cover?
JL: LOL. We looked at many dresses and got the idea for the book cover from the Met Gala. Blake Lively wore a dress similar to the one on the cover. It is a beautiful dress.
EC: What about the wedding scene?
JL: Based on Grace Kelly and Queen Elizabeth’s weddings. I really wanted to make it authentic.
EC: How would you describe Leo?
JL: I based him on Prince Harry ten years ago. It had been reported he had enjoyed being a partier and was not sure he wanted to be part of the Royal family. I thought how all the attention is given to the Crown Prince. I wanted to have Leo unsure what he would do with his life. In the beginning he is snobbish and a non-conformist, but then redeems himself.
EC: How would you describe their relationship?
JL: Two soulmates who meet. They cannot see it in the first half of the book, but then they recognize they have a lot in common. They play games at first, but eventually decide to work together.
EC: Next books? JL: The next Princess book, A Princess By Christmas, comes out in the fall. The two countries in this book come to London for a peace summit. The hero is new but the heroine is Eliza’s sister Hollis. As was referenced in this book she wants to move from a gossip columnist to write meaningful articles. Eliza and Sebastian will be back.
A book out in August, You Lucky Dog is about a dog walker that switches two Bassett Hounds.
THANK YOU!!
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Fall intramural sports season ready to begin
A new school year. A new season. A new sport for intramurals!
Registration is now open for the fall season through Tuesday, Sept. 11, featuring eight sports including basketball, flag football and sand volleyball. New this year is archery tag.
“If I were to describe it, I would say it’s a combination of paintball and dodgeball,” said Tony Dreckman, director of intramural sports. “… but with a bow and arrow.”
Archery tag is played 5 vs. 5 co-ed teams as a league. Dreckman tries to add non-traditional sports that give students a chance to feel more comfortable knowing other students who are trying something new as well.
“Best part about being in intramurals is getting out of your comfort zone,” said Michelle Durante, a sophomore, intramural soccer. “Intramural sports allow you to play your favorite sport with no pressure put onto it.”
According to George Meyers, a senior, intramural softball, “Intramural sports allows you to enjoy sports with a little bit of competition and a fun nature along with it.”
“There is always a healthy ‘fun-first’ mentality that came along with it,” Meyers said. “Students who are involved in intramural sports say it has made their college experiences as memorable as possible. There are many benefits along with intramural sports”.
When being involved in intramural sports students have found that you develop new skills such as communication working with other teammates and take it as a learning experience, according to Rhasan Scales, junior flag football.
Junior, flag football player Rhasad Scales added, “You get familiar with working together with people who are not the same race, ethnicity or background, skills, abilities or talents as you.”
“With intramural sports, some may become more competitive than others can.” Rhasan Scales said, “I’d be lying if I said it does not get competitive, being involved in flag football it gets real competitive and fun.”
Sports available for registration this fall:
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Archery Tag
3-On-3 Men’s Basketball
3-On-3 Women’s Basketball
Flag Football
Sand Volleyball
Men’s Soccer
Women’s Soccer
Softball
— Katie Behie, marketing major
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Astronaut Sally K. Ride's legacy – encouraging young women to embrace science and engineering
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Mission specialist Sally Ride became the first American woman to fly in space. NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center
On June 18, 1983, 35 years ago, Sally Ride became the first American woman to launch into space, riding the Space Shuttle STS-7 flight with four other crew members. Only five years earlier, in 1978, she had been selected to the first class of 35 astronauts – including six women – who would fly on the Space Shuttle.
Sally’s first ride, with her STS-7 crewmates. In addition to launching America’s first female astronaut, it was also the first mission with a five-member crew. Front row, left to right: Ride, commander Bob Crippen, pilot Frederick Hauck. Back row, left to right: John Fabian, Norm Thagard. NASA
Much has happened in the intervening years. During the span of three decades, the shuttles flew 135 times carrying hundreds of American and international astronauts into space before they were retired in 2011. The International Space Station began to fly in 1998 and has been continuously occupied since 2001, orbiting the Earth once every 90 minutes. More than 50 women have now flown into space, most of them Americans. One of these women, Dr. Peggy Whitson, became chief of the Astronaut Office and holds the American record for number of hours in space.
The Space Shuttle democratized spaceflight
The Space Shuttle was an amazing flight vehicle: It launched like a rocket into Low Earth Orbit in only eight minutes, and landed softly like a glider after its mission. What is not well known is that the Space Shuttle was an equalizer and enabler, opening up space exploration to a wider population of people from planet Earth.
STS-50 Crew photo with commander Richard N. Richards and pilot Kenneth D. Bowersox, mission specialists Bonnie J. Dunbar, Ellen S. Baker and Carl J. Meade, and payload specialists Lawrence J. DeLucas and Eugene H. Trinh. The photo was taken in front of the Columbia Shuttle, which Dunbar helped to build. NASA
This inclusive approach began in 1972 when Congress and the president approved the Space Shuttle budget and contract. Spacesuits, seats and all crew equipment were initially designed for a larger range of sizes to fit all body types, and the waste management system was modified for females. Unlike earlier vehicles, the Space Shuttle could carry up to eight astronauts at a time. It had a design more similar to an airplane than a small capsule, with two decks, sleeping berths, large laboratories and a galley. It also provided privacy.
I graduated with an engineering degree from the University of Washington in 1971 and, by 1976, I was a young engineer working on the first Space Shuttle, Columbia, with Rockwell International at Edwards Air Force Base, in California. I helped to design and produce the thermal protection system – those heat resistant ceramic tiles – which allowed the shuttle to re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere for up to 100 flights.
Mike Anderson and Bonnie Dunbar flew together on STS-89 in 1998. They both graduated from University of Washington. Anderson was killed in the Columbia accident, in 2003. NASA
It was a heady time; a new space vehicle could carry large crews and “cargo,” including space laboratories and the Hubble Space Telescope. The Shuttle also had a robotic arm, which was critical for the assembly of the International Space Station, and an “airlock” for space walks, and enabled us to build the International Space Station.
I knew from my first day at Rockwell that this vehicle had been designed for both men and women. A NASA engineer at the Langley Research Center gave me a very early “heads up” in 1973 that they would eventually select women astronauts for the Space Shuttle. In the 1970s there were visionary men and women in NASA, government and in the general public, who saw a future for more women in science and engineering, and for flying into space. Women were not beating down the door to be included in the Space Shuttle program, we were being invited to be an integral part of a larger grand design for exploring space.
1978: Becoming an astronaut
The selection process for the first class of Space Shuttle astronauts, to include women, opened in 1977. NASA approached the recruitment process with a large and innovative publicity campaign encouraging men and women of all ethnic backgrounds to apply. One of NASA’s recruiters was actress Nichelle Nichols who played Lt. Ohura on the “Star Trek” series, which was popular at the time. Sally learned about NASA’s astronaut recruitment drive through an announcement, possibly on a job bulletin board, somewhere at Stanford University. Sally had been a talented nationally ranked tennis player, but her passion was physics. The opportunity to fly into space intrigued her and looked like a challenge and rewarding career she could embrace.
Sally and I arrived at NASA at the same time in 1978 – she as part of the “TFNG” (“Thirty-Five New Guys”) astronaut class and I as a newly minted mission controller, training to support the Space Shuttle. I had already been in the aerospace industry for several years and had made my choice for “space” at the age of 9 on a cattle ranch in Washington state. I also applied for the 1978 astronaut class, but was not selected until 1980.
Sally and I connected on the Flight Crew Operations co-ed softball team. We both played softball from an early age and were both private pilots, flying our small planes together around southeast Texas. We also often discussed our perspectives on career selection, and how fortunate we were to have teachers and parents and other mentors who encouraged us to study math and science in school – the enabling subjects for becoming an astronaut.
STS-7: June 18 1983
In January 1978, NASA selected six women into the class of 35 new astronauts to fly on the Space Shuttle. From left to right are Shannon W. Lucid, Ph.D., Margaret Rhea Seddon, M.D., Kathryn D. Sullivan, Ph.D., Judith A. Resnik, Ph.D., Anna L. Fisher, M.D., and Sally K. Ride, Ph.D. NASA
Although Sally was one of six women in the 1978 class, she preferred to be considered one of 35 new astronauts – and to be judged by merit, not gender. It was important to all the women that the bar be as high as it was for the men. From an operational and safety point of view, that was also equally important. In an emergency, there are no special allowances for gender or ethnicity: Everyone had to pull their own weight. In fact, it has been said that those first six women were not just qualified, they were more than qualified.
While Sally was honored to be picked as the first woman from her class to fly, she shied away from the limelight. She believed that she flew for all Americans, regardless of gender, but she also understood the expectations on her for being selected “first.” As she flew on STS-7, she paid tribute to those who made it possible for her to be there: to her family and teachers, to those who made and operated the Space Shuttle, to her crewmates, and to all of her astronaut classmates including Dr. Kathy Sullivan, Dr. Rhea Seddon, Dr. Anna Fisher, Dr. Shannon Lucid, and Dr. Judy Resnick (who lost her life on Challenger). With all of the attention, Sally was a gracious “first.” And the launch of STS-7 had a unique celebratory flair. Signs around Kennedy Space Center said “Fly Sally Fly,” and John Denver gave a special concert the night before the launch, not far from the launch pad.
Continuing the momentum
One of the topics that Sally and I discussed frequently was why so few young girls were entering into math, technology, science and engineering – which became known as STEM careers in the late 1990s. Both of us had been encouraged and pushed by male and female mentors and “cheerleaders.” By 1972, companies with federal contracts were actively recruiting women engineers. NASA had opened up spaceflight to women in 1978, and was proud of the fact that they were recruiting and training women as astronauts and employing them in engineering and the sciences.
National needs for STEM talent and supportive employment laws were creating an environment such that if a young woman wished to become an aerospace engineer, a physicist, a chemist, a medical doctor, an astronomer or an astrophysicist, they could. One might have thought that Sally’s legendary flight, and those of other women astronauts over the last 35 years might have inspired a wave of young women (and men) into STEM careers. For example, when Sally flew into space in 1983, a 12-year-old middle school girl back then would now be 47. If she had a daughter, that daughter might be 25. After two generations, we might have expected that there would be large bow wave of young energized women entering into the STEM careers. But this hasn’t happened.
Rather, we have a growing national shortage of engineers and research scientists in this nation, which threatens our prosperity and national security. The numbers of women graduating in engineering grew from 1 percent in 1971 to about 20 percent in 35 years. But women make up 50 percent of the population, so there is room for growth. So what are the “root causes” for this lack of growth?
K-12 STEM education
Many reports have cited deficient K-12 math and science education as contributing to the relatively stagnant graduation rates in STEM careers.
Completing four years of math in high school, as well as physics, chemistry and biology is correlated with later success in science, mathematics and engineering in college. Without this preparation, career options are reduced significantly. Even though I graduated from a small school in rural Washington state, I was able to study algebra, geometry, trigonometry, math analysis, biology, chemistry and physics by the time I graduated. Those were all prerequisites for entry into the University of Washington College of Engineering. Sally had the same preparation before she entered into physics.
As part of NASA’s commitment to the next generation of explorers, NASA Ames collaborated with Sally Ride Science to sponsor and host the Sally Ride Science Festival at the NASA Research Park. Hundreds of San Francisco Bay Area girls, their teachers and parents enjoy a fun-filled interactive exploration of science, technology, engineering and mathematics on Sept. 27, 2008. NASA Ames Research Center / Dominic Hart
Although we have many great K-12 schools in the nation, too many schools now struggle to find qualified mathematics and physics teachers. Inspiring an interest in these topics is also key to retention and success. Being excited about a particular subject matter can keep a student engaged even through the tough times. Participation in “informal science education” at museums and camps is becoming instrumental for recruiting students into STEM careers, especially as teachers struggle to find the time in a cramped curriculum to teach math and science.
Research has shown that middle school is a critical period for young boys and girls to establish their attitudes toward math and science, to acquire fundamental skills that form the basis for progression into algebra, geometry and trigonometry, and to develop positive attitudes toward the pursuit of STEM careers. When Dr. Sally Ride retired from NASA, she understood this, and founded Imaginary Lines and, later, Sally Ride Science, to influence career aspirations for middle school girls. She hosted science camps throughout the nation, exposing young women and their parents to a variety of STEM career options. Sally Ride Science continues its outreach through the University of California at San Diego.
Challenging old stereotypes and honoring Sally’s legacy
Sally Ride and Bonnie Dunbar are fighting outdated stereotypes that women are not good at STEM subjects. Creativa Images/shutterstock.com
However, there are still challenges, especially in this social media-steeped society. I and other practicing women engineers have observed that young girls are often influenced by what they perceive “society thinks” of them.
In a recent discussion with an all-girl robotics team competing at NASA, I asked the high school girls if they had support from teachers and parents, and they all said “yes.” But then, they asked, “Why doesn’t society support us?” I was puzzled and asked them what they meant. They then directed me to the internet where searches on engineering careers returned a story after story of describing “hostile work environments.”
Sadly, most of these stories are very old and are often from studies with very small populations. The positive news, from companies, government, universities and such organizations as the National Academy of Engineers, Physics Girl and Society of Women Engineers, rarely rises to the top of the search results. Currently, companies and laboratories in the U.S. are desperate to employ STEM qualified and inspired women. But many of our young women continue to “opt out.”
Young women are influenced by the media images they see every day. We continue to see decades-old negative stereotypes and poor images of engineers and scientists on television programs and in the movies.
Popular TV celebrities continue to boast on air that they either didn’t like math or struggled with it. Sally Ride Science helps to combat misconceptions and dispel myths by bringing practicing scientists and engineers directly to the students. However, in order to make a more substantial difference, this program and others like it require help from the media organizations. The nation depends upon the technology and science produced by our scientists and engineers, but social media, TV hosts, writers and movie script developers rarely reflect this reality. So it may be, that in addition to K-12 challenges in our educational system, the “outdated stererotypes” portrayed in the media are also discouraging our young women from entering science and engineering careers.
Unlimited opportunities in science and engineering
The reality? More companies than ever are creating family-friendly work environments and competing for female talent. In fact, there is a higher demand from business, government and graduate schools in the U.S. for women engineers and scientists than can be met by the universities.
Both Sally and I had wonderful careers supported by both men and women. NASA was a great work environment and continues to be – the last two astronaut classes have been about 50 percent female.
I think that Sally would be proud of how far the nation has come with respect to women in space, but would also want us to focus on the future challenges for recruiting more women into science and engineering, and to reignite the passion for exploring space.
Bonnie J. Dunbar does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.
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From toddlers all the way to teenagers, my parents had always involved my siblings and I in sports, from softball, baseball, soccer, all the way to football “Hence my broken fingers” We’ve always stayed active. As we grew older we had to change different age group teams. It was a necessity we had to bond and get more involved, in order to fit in. Just like my mom would say “most importantly have fun!”
They always enforced us to be ready and prepared to get to practice and games on time. It was hardly impossible to miss any events. My mother was always on top of everything, wanted us to be active participants and responsible athletes. As time passed, it became a habit that was instilled on us. Even during stressful times our parents and coaches helped us in different ways to relive our stress, mainly by keeping us thinking positive and constant communication among everyone.
When I was 13 years old, we had a softball game with constant errors and horrible calls on our team at a playoff game. It was beyond stressful, we had lost our hope at winning and moving on to the championship. The opposite team had a way better chance at winning than us. Close to the last inning my coach finally sat us down and had a talk with all of us, we had lost our sense of focus in working together as a team, communicate efficiently as who was catching the pop ups, not knowing who we should throw the ball. He made us realize it wasn’t about who reached for the ball the fastest, but working as a team to prevent us from continuous differences and arguments. Most importantly come together and have good time; we’ve had made it this far, why not continue how we had in the past. Unfortunately, it was already late to catch up, we ended up losing. End of the day we knew how to work our differences and be prepared for the next season. All my teammates were really thankful and appreciative by all the efforts our parents and coaches put on us, working together not as a softball team, but as a family made us all realize it wasn’t about winning but succeed for one common goal “team work”
As I entered high school, I noticed a different vibe with my school mates on the team. Most of these girls where different ages, from 14-18 years old. Teenagers becoming women, mood swings, drama, the whole lesbians on the team, attitude problems, and many more. As much as I loved the sport, practicing with the girls was dreadful. There was always drama among themselves, girlfriends and exes among the team. The coaches tried not to get involved much, I’m not sure if because he was scared the girls would rebel against him, or they were too good to put the team at risk, favoritism played a big role and it was noticeable among the rest of the girls. I can honestly say I had never realized what softball divas were until I entered high school. Most of these teens knew what they brought to the table and felt it was sufficient rather than getting to know the newcomers. These girls reminded me about the first chapter, when a group is not a good choice. All we had in common was the sport and one goal was to win championships. I had dreaded my last period, I really loved the sport and I've managed to stick with it and somehow try to become friends with some of the girls who seemed welcoming and try to have a sense of belonging. During practices before the season started every girl was divided into smaller teams according to the specific position they wanted to play in, once again I had to start over and find ways to bond with my new group of team mates. Every girl had different technique they've learned throughout the years; this was a struggle to catch up and follow through since our coaches wanted to study specific plays to improve the speed of every inning. The very first months were somewhat very hard for all of us. I also believed our environment was affecting us, Eastwood had to borrow a softball field from an elementary school 10 minutes away from us, it wasn’t even in good conditions to play in, had lots of bald spots of grass and stickers which would stick to our clothes. The softball equipment was really in the worst conditions to play, pretty embarrassing to play with. Every day after school we had to find rides with other teammates or parents, change clothes in the cars and go straight to practice. It was really annoying to ask people for rides especially since you’re not even old enough to have a license and make sure we arrive on time so we don’t get penalized and run an extra mile. I really think the love I had for softball made me suck it up and stay. Dealing with horrible conditions of our borrowed softball team, but also hanging out with girls who really didn’t care much about supporting one another. My mother had a talk with me and my freshman friends from the team even if we are the youngest, we had to really find our way in and enjoy the struggles we were enduring because we were good at what we enjoy doing and that was playing softball. My mom was our number one supporter and was constantly pushing us to smile through the hard times, which is why I believe we pulled through.
For the next year our school was granted a new school, however it needed more money to cover additional structures for our field. We all gathered ideas in how to really make profit out of fundraisers and other options to really speed the process to have our field ready before our season started. on of our captains father worked for Golden Corral and he offered to sponsor us and have steak dinner banquets, not only it helped us inmensely, but all of us contributed somehow in created an inviting space for families to join us. Our captains and seniors divided all of us for specific duties; from waitressing, hosting, serving, and cleaning crew. All of us really wanted this brand new softball field, we worked long hours and volunteering to reach our financial goal. While our field was under construction we would go on weekends and help with painting our dugout homes, fix the fences, maintain the grass. No joke we worked so hard on this and took us over a year. These girls became more than team mate, we became friends and real close ones. all these stressful moments constantly disagreeing and finding ways for all of us to come to a mutual agreements finally paid off. We all ended up caring for one another, unfortunately our captains graduated and weren't able to enjoy the field but managed to continue training us during the summer.
For the past two years we had a co-ed softball team with my old High School classmates including other guy friends from the baseball team. We use the same techniques we did back in school that helped us work better as a team. Things have changed, we all work or go to school which is why sometimes not all of us can make it to the practices or might miss a game. We bring our children to play with us and show them better ways to teach about sports and working as a team. Might be a little trickier but we make it work, and I couldn’t have picked a better team.
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My Money Coaching Experience With Capital One
I believe everybody needs a money coach in some form or another. Your money coach can be your spouse, parent, best friend, sibling, or mentor. He or she just needs to be a little bit more experienced and financially savvier than you. If not, he/she needs to at least be a good listener so they can reflect back on your blind spots.
Despite giving plenty of 1X1 financial consulting sessions myself, I’ve never had my own money coaching session. I view the entire Financial Samurai community as a great platform discuss various issues. Some things I’ve learned from all of you are:
All talk, no action doesn’t inspire change. Telling people to do something doesn’t work as well as showing people through my own actions, e.g. posting 3X a week for eight years in a row, responding to comments at 5:30am, deploying capital based on my investment thesis, working towards my passive income goals, trying and failing all the time, etc.
Producing quality content without self-promotion actually works. I’ve often wondered whether it’s possible to build a brand without being a pubic figure. Is valuing my privacy holding me back from maximizing my potential? Probably, but this site has grown every year since its founding in 2009, so I’m pleased with the progress.
Being a minority does not impede me from getting ahead in America. I came to America as a freshman in high school after spending the previous 13 years living in Asia plus one year in Zambia. Going from being a majority to a minority was sometimes a difficult transition. I highly recommend giving it a try one day. You’ll build a lot of grit.
When Capital One reached out to me about their free money coaching sessions at one of their cafés in San Francisco, I jumped at the opportunity. I’m always interested in trying new things and getting feedback about myself in order to improve as a person. As someone who is struggling with money addiction, the timing of this coaching session couldn’t be more perfect.
My one hour money coaching session didn’t wind up being at their downtown Union Square Café, but at Pier 39 where they were hosting their Banking Reimagined Tour this past weekend. I was there to check out their huge state-of-the-art trailer when my contact at Capital One mentioned their San Francisco / Walnut Creek money coach, Megan CFP, was also there if I wanted to do my session.
It was a glorious day after a week of non-stop rain, so of course I told them “yes!”
Having my money coaching session with Megan on a 60-degree and sunny day by the SF Bay.
Megan was great. She spent 10 years at Morgan Stanley as a financial planner, became a certified life coach, and decided to smartly blend her two skills together to help other people. Life + financial coaching seems like a rewarding for anyone thinking about doing something new.
I’ve always talked about money as being a means to achieve greater happiness. I thought my end goal was always just about having absolute freedom, but through my first coaching session, I identified more goals.
The first step for self-improvement was to make my “travel plan.” Essentially, I had to figure out where (and how) I am today, what I have to do to get to point B, and what I think I’ll have once I get there. Here’s my travel plan snapshot. Pardon my chicken scratch as I hastily jotted things down.
I described my current state of being with the words: satisfied, happy, blessed, wonderment. Having a life partner, tennis network, online network, family, and home really bring me a lot of happiness and satisfaction. I plan to continue waking up early, working hard, and planning for the future so that I may have more happiness, contentment, satisfaction, and vitality!
The next step in the money coaching session was to either go through my Values or a Money Plan. Given I’ve got my money plan mapped out, I went with understanding my values. There was a list of ~50 different values to choose from and I was asked to write out eight that spoke to me the most.
My eight most important values are: Meaning & Purpose, Inner Peace, Belonging, Health, Independence, Equality, Freedom, and Helping Others.
Next to each value is a numerical score between 1-10, indicating where I feel I am with each value.
1) Helping (10): Every day I feel like I’m helping someone with Financial Samurai, even if it’s just a little bit. Even those who stop by and leave an angry or insulting comment probably come away feeling better.
2) Meaning & Purpose (10): As a result of helping others, I feel like I’ve got a good sense of meaning & purpose. Writing about personal finance just feels like a great fit due to my background. Mentoring kids also provides extra purpose.
3) Independence (10): Having my health gives me the independence to move freely. I don’t ever want to feel like a burden to anybody. I know that day will come, but I’m trying to remain independent for as long as possible.
4) Freedom (10): Freedom to choose based on my values is all I ever want. Due to aggressive saving and investing, my passive income stream provides such freedom.
5) Health (8): So far, all my body parts are working. I feel no chronic pain either. My health score would be higher if I lost 10-15 lbs. Despite practicing portion control and exercising regularly, I’m still losing the battle of the bulge.
6) Equality (8): I strongly believe in equality for all. As a result, I’m constantly writing about issues that don’t seem fair to get people to think more broadly. For example, why is there a marriage penalty tax? Why do Asian people have to do better in school to have the same chance of getting into university as other races? Why do people have the ability to vote on legislation that raises taxes on other people without having to pay more taxes themselves? Why is there any poverty within 30 miles of a billionaire? Why do we gorge ourselves when there are over 200 million malnourished people in the world? Why do CEOs make millions killing people by selling sugary drinks and unhealthy food?
7) Inner Peace (8): The older I get, the more often I ask myself whether I’d be OK if I died today. The more I’m OK with passing, the more inner peace I have. I got close to being OK dying young after achieving my life goal of doing something entrepreneurial. Having life insurance a clear will also helped. But now that I’m thinking about having a kid, I want to at least live long enough before he becomes an adult.
8) Belonging (6): Here’s where I feel I’m most lacking. It’s interesting I feel this way due to the relatively large Financial Samurai community. Perhaps due to the fact there’s such a large online community, it makes my offline community feel very small? I truly enjoy interacting with the millions of Financial Samurais around the world who take ownership of their lives.
I’m a pretty social person who loves to hang out with cool people. I miss the days when I could just meet up with a friend after school and skateboard for hours on end without a care. In a way, retiring early has robbed me of camaraderie because I no longer have a group of colleagues to hang out with during and after work. There are no more power lunches with friendly clients either. Oh how I miss using the company corporate card. Almost everybody I know has to go to work, and it does get lonely at times.
Relationships take effort. Therefore, I plan to do two things:
1) Plan a couples retreat for my 40th birthday. I really enjoyed going with two other couples to Indian Wells last spring for a tennis tournament. We rented a sweet house with a pool and hot tub (pic below), went out to eat every night, and watched world class tennis during the day. So fun! But since then, I’ve only had three dinner outings with couples. So sad.
Our couples retreat rental house in Palm Springs. Such an awesome time!
2) Identify two things I love and attend weekly meetups. There are endless meetups here in San Francisco across a variety of interests. I’m pretty tapped out on the fintech / startup scene, and I’ve got the tennis community covered. I’m thinking about joining a co-ed softball team where we play some random opponent on some random field and go for brewskies at a dive bar after. I’m also considering joining a car club after I buy my mid-life crisis vehicle. It’s fun to drive in a cavalcade up to wine country with some car fanatics. We can create a mid-life crisis support group!
Finding Direction
It’s interesting to learn my money coaching session wasn’t so much about my finances, but more about how to achieve life goals. I plan to meet Megan for one or two more free sessions next time I go downtown for some business meetings. It feels great speaking to someone who is 100% focused on helping you move forward.
If you’re looking for some free life or money guidance, set up a money coaching session at one of Capital One’s Cafés. Everybody has some blind spot that needs illuminating.
Readers, anybody ever have a life coach or financial coach? How was that experience for you? What are some things you got out of your coaching session that you didn’t anticipate. What are some immediate life goals you have? Thanks Capital One for sponsoring this post and getting me to experience new things.
from http://www.financialsamurai.com/my-money-life-coaching-experience-with-capital-one/
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