#they were not my favorite team since i liked rose and nine a lot more

[cuddlesslut]

Beginnings

Chapter Ten of Home

Atsumu x fem reader, Suna x fem reader, Hinata x fem reader

Summary: a glance back

Warnings: some NSFW elements in this chapter

AN / so it looks like the chapters are going to be shorter than before but that’s just because I can only keep my energy up for so long. I really do enjoy writing but it’s easier for me to write smaller chapters rather than like before. Also I know Suna hasn’t been as present I promise we will be getting more of him soon! UNEDITED SORRY

Part Nine: Closure

You collapsed onto your bed immediately after getting home from lunch with Atsumu and you haven’t moved for at least half an hour. Emotionally you were exhausted. Seeing him and thinking about him still caused a pang in your chest but that reunion was needed. You needed to start moving past him, that much you decided. He was your first love and he wounded you in a way that may never fully heal but now there’s two amazing guys trying to help you move forward.

You let a long grown rubbing your hands over your face. This were complicated enough when you were still coming to terms with your felling with Hinata. God he must be wondering what the hell is going with you leaving with his teammate. Maybe Bokuto and Sakusa have already started filling in the blanks for him. You could see those idiots snickering to themselves when you had encountered the group earlier. A soft smile graced your lips thinking of those two. You missed those two, and their constant bickering. You had become close to the the team over the years. Having hosted several victory parties at your and Atsumu’s shared home.

A small tear slipped down your cheek running down your face as you lay staring at the ceiling. Just another thing you had lost because of the setter. You released the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Shaking that thought from your mind it did no good to dwell on those things now. Thinking back to your favorite orange haired man you felt slightly nervous about having to explain everything to him. Sho is nowhere near as dumb as most think ,yes he tends to get a little over excited missing some details but he’s really quite clever, so he’s probably figured out most things. It’s not like he wasn’t aware of your past you had spilled that too him a lot quicker than you had planned. You can remember that moment clearly. It was the moment your feelings for Hinata had first started becoming deeper than you had intended, even though you denied them for a lot longer.

You stretched sitting up the soft cotton sheets falling your lap as you yawned searching searching the room for the familiar sight of Shoyo’s bright orange hair. You rose your brow at the lack of his presence. The small apartment was silent. Which made you draw the conclusion that he was not here, he’s to rambunctious to be home and not make any noise not that you minded. You had a clue where he could probably be and your suspicions were confirmed as you heard him enter through the front door. It surprised you the first morning it had happened but by now you are used to Hinata going for morning runs.

He stood in the door smile spreading across his face upon seeing you awake in this bed wearing only one of his old game shirts from Brazil. Your hair still a mess and the purple marks he left last night peaking out from the collar of the crew neck. It was certainly an amazing sight for him to come back to. He leaned against the door frame lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe some sweat from his face. Now it was your turn to appreciate the view. His abs and delicious v coming into sight. Grazing your eyes down to his workout shorts that fit nice and snug against his defined thighs. God his thighs were a blessing in and of themselves. After your quick glance you look back up to the eyes of the man in front of you.

“You know I’ll never understand how you can have the energy to go running in the morning after the nights we have,” you chuckle.

A wide grin sneaks his way to his face “ sorry I’m not the one who can barely walk in the morning,” he winks.

Your jaw drops at his cheeky comment. “ oh yeah we’ll have to change that,” you state smug unsure where all of this confidence came from. Although you weren’t expecting his response.

His eyebrow quirked at your insinuation, before smirking “ alright that can be arranged sometime soon!” He chuckled enthusiastically.

Your eyes widened the scenario playing in your mind quickly.

Hinata loved the shocked but curious expression painting your features. The next thing you new Sho had bolted from his spot jumping into the bed knocking you onto your back as he hovered over you. His hot breath tickled your neck his lips grazing your pulse before giving a nip. One hand had sneaked under the shirt you wore grasping onto your hip while the other kneaded your breast. Your breath grew shaky. He lowered his head to the valley between your breast before looking up to you. Peering at you through his orange waves that dangled in his face.

“You know I still have plenty of energy to take care of you,” he teased his voice dropping an octave. “ so baby tell where do you want me.”

“I want you,” you bite your lip looking at the sinful man in front of you. Your hand grips his chin pulling him up to you face to face, your eyes drop to his lips before returning to his darkened eyes. “In the shower, now get your sweaty ass off of me!” You push his Lunky body of off you before standing.

He groans looking over at you “tease!” He yells.

You turn back sticking your tongue out at him, “ go shower loser im going to make some coffee and breakfast,” you yelled over your shoulder as you headed to the kitchen. Hinata enjoyed the view of you walking away before sighing in defeat, he was really grimy from his run, plus he could use a cold shower right now.

———

You moved around his small kitchen with an air of familiarity. It was about a little over a month since your agreement of friends with benefits began. After fixing a small breakfast and some coffee Shoyo finally emerged fully dressed and cleaned. Taking a sip from his mug and surveying the food you had made. He smiled.

“Damn Y/N this looks amazing!” He smile his signature smile. “You know it surprise me how a girl like you is single!” He doesn’t sense the mistake he had made immediately. You had never talked about why you didn’t want to date before. Not feeling your tragic history with love was appropriate pillow talk. You froze at this statement. Unwanted thoughts and memories swirling in your mind. All of your insecurities starting to surface. Hinata noticed the shift in the air immediately. It was hard not to as your hands grabbed at the counter for some stability. Your eyes trained on the surface, voice caught in your throat. How do you respond to that.

If there’s one thing about Hinata that is certain it’s that’s he’s incredibly caring. He moved around the corner of the counter standing next to your side placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Hey Y/N are you okay! Was it something I said? I’m real sorry ya know!” You turn to him tears brimming in your eyes. He doesn’t speak again or ask you to just pulling you into him as you bury your face into his chest as you sob. He places a reassuring hand your back rubbing soothing circles onto your back hoping to help calm you.

It feels nice and it helps a lot more than you expected. Although guilt starts to build as you realize your crying in front of a man you only know through sex. God this is embarrassing. Before you can try to retreat. Sho navigates you to his sofa. After relaxing into the cushions you look up at him. While he’s trying to look calm and reassuring you can sense the worry in him.

He takes this moment to speak. “ you know you can talk to me Y/N I’ll listen to you about whatever you have going on, no judgment.” You sigh looking up at him. Looking up into his eyes you don’t know why you aren’t more hesitant but it honestly feels like you can tell him anything. And so you do. You tell him almost everything. Leaving out names and some of the more gory details. You tell him all about your heartache. And he sits and listens to you intently. Although he didn’t show it he was furious with how you had been treated. But he didn’t want to interrupt your venting. It felt really nice to actually talk to someone about everything and how you feel and Sho was amazingly supportive throughout the whole ordeal.

Wiping the mostly dried tears from your cheeks you gave Hinata a soft smile. “ thank you Shoyo I’m sorry I dropped all of this on you, it probably not what you signed up for.” You gave a nervous chuckle.

He returned your smile, looking at you earnestly, he gripped your shoulder gently making you look up at him. “Hey none of that non sense! You can always talk to me no matter what!” He smiled.

Your eyes shinned up at him with a forgotten emotion. “Really?” You questioned

His smile grew even bigger “Yeah! Absolutely! What are friends for!” He beamed!

Friends.... why did that word give you a pang in your chest.

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[aitarose]

AKAIBARA (T.KUROO) pairing: kuroo tetsurou x fem!reader

synopsis: he was everything, her entire world. y/n didn’t know love without kuroo, but she also didn’t know if he knew any love for her—any love at all.

word count: 5.6k

genre: hanahaki au, unrequited love, mutual pining, fluff, angst

warnings: blood, mentions of death, terminal illness?

notes: this is for my muse, lina-chan, since she’s my love—and i catered y/n to her exact personality traits..so you’re welcome loser-chan!

↳ DIRECTORY

Nine petals and counting.

Y/N rested her hands on the sides of the vinyl bathroom sink, head tilted downwards, towards the view of red. Solids and liquids approached the drain, a mix of flowers and blood escaping from her body.

Ten, eleven, twelve. It was unstoppable, the amount of love she was losing, the amount of strength she had to go on. Her legs felt weak, frail in comparison to her usual tenacity and vigor on the side of the court.

She hadn’t been able to manage the volleyball team in weeks, nearing months. Her physical health had wavered, forcing her to resign from her post. Forcing her responsibilities on their coach, her boys having to fend for themselves for the first time since she was fifteen.

Loneliness was all Y/N knew, though she was still an avid student and classmate. It was all she’d felt in the past days, isolated from her friends, her classmates, even him.

Even Kuroo.

It wasn’t that she wanted to be apart from him, from his humor, his laugh, the overwhelming feeling of warmth that he brought to her life. He was her sun amongst Toyko’s sea of stars—but he couldn’t see her like this.

He couldn’t see the blood stains, the coughing fits, the garden of flowers that grew from her throat. She was a mess and he was him, the very person that caused her this horrid disease. The very person that she loved more than anyone in the entire world.

Hanahaki wasn’t uncommon in their town, nearly a quarter of Nekoma High suffered from it in some type of way. It was truly an enigma, a confusion turned infection that made no sense to the human mind.

Y/N had tried to re-work her diagnosis for years, since the first few weeks she’d had it—and despite her knowledge of anatomy and biology, there was no solution to her dilemma, there was no true scientific cure.

And over time, she and Kuroo had come to realize that. While they worked and worked for a way to rid her of the thorns, there was nothing they could do as he didn’t know who her love was.

He didn’t know that no matter how many nights he stayed up beside her, chin rested over her shoulder, arms wrapped around her torso—no matter how much he tried to relieve her of her pain, he only made it worse.

He wanted to help, she knew that he wanted to help in any way that he could—but it was no use. All he’d ever be able to do is watch in sympathy as she’d run out of their classroom and back into the hole that was the public girl’s restroom.

Kuroo was the best person Y/N knew, which was all the more reason that he had to stay out, that he needed to give her space during this time. The disaster that was hanahaki couldn’t infiltrate his life, Y/N wouldn’t let it, he didn’t deserve the pressure—the pressure of loving her.

Thirteen, fourteen, to nothing.

Relief began to overcome her lungs, oxygen filling her veins, the thorn-covered vines retreated back to the place in which they came. It was as if the sun had finally showered through the clouds, giving Y/N the light that she so desperately needed.

Her flowers were strange in comparison to the stories she and Kuroo had read online. Rather than continuous, straight lines of blood and blossoms—her roses were sporadic and unpredictable.

There’d be times where she’d be stuck in the restroom for the entirety of the day, throwing up due to her rib cage cramping and rolling over itself���or she’d be perfectly fine, with all the energy in the world.

Those days were her favorite. The day’s where she and Kuroo would scream at the top of their lungs. Where he’d spin her around and wrap her up in the tightest hug he could muster. Where he’d smile at her as if she wasn’t only his best friend—as if he loved her.

But he didn’t. He didn’t love her, not in the way she wanted at least.

A light sigh escaped Y/N’s lips, her quivering body stilling as she finally took a look towards her reflection. She’d been staring at the pile of scarlet for nearly a half-an-hour, trying her best not to lose count of her trauma.

Fifteen petals was all it took to uproot her day, dwindle her time with Kuroo down to nothing. It was embarrassing, truly.—that her soul was controlled by a mere rose.

Color slowly returned to her cheeks, flushed shades of pink mocking her with their rosy hue, red lighting up the tip of her nose. Her eyes were weary, blurry from the amount of tears she’d shed, the same tears that had meshed with the running tap water. 

Taking a deep breath, Y/N let go of the sink. She let go of the safety of her reflection, the safety of knowing that she was the only person who’d ever see herself this way, completely derailed by love.

Stepping into the real world, the world of judgement from classmates and concerned advisors, she hastily left the bathroom—only for a large, calloused hand to wrap itself around her forearm.

As she rolled her eyes, turning to face her captor, Y/N raised her palm and flicked her best friend right between his eyebrows. “You waited?” She suppressed a grin, stifling a laugh at the sight of his mocking pout. 

“Seems like fan behavior to me, Kuroo.”

He frowned at her words, picking her up with ease as he made his way down the now empty hallways. Y/N squealed, despite being used to his relentless strength, there would never be a time in which she’d expect him to throw her over his shoulder. 

Holding her legs whilst supporting her waist, he nodded with a troublesome smile at any of their classmates who’d so happened to remain after the school bell had rung—to which they’d respond with a simple shake of the head, amused at the sight of Nekoma High’s infamous best friends.

“Fan behavior, huh?” Kuroo spun dramatically as they reached the parking lot, nearly throwing Y/N into the passenger seat of his car, her designated spot. The place where no person, not even Kenma, was allowed to sit.

He instinctively buckled her seatbelt, knowing that she must’ve felt weak and nauseous due to the stress her body had been under only ten minutes prior, before settling himself behind the wheel.

A bright beam overcame his features, practically spreading across his entire face as her eyes met his. “Where to next?” Y/N asked, fingers fiddling with the different radio channels, deciding on a soft indie-station.

“Home.” He replied, taking a hold of the hand she’d placed over the volume nozzle, allowing them to turn up the song together. Though it was brief, him releasing her touch after seconds, it was moments like this where she considered the theory that perhaps she did hold a place in his heart. 

She shook her head, forcing the absurd thought away and rolling her eyes once again at the utter ridiculousness that was Kuroo Tetsurou. She leaned back into the soft leather of her seat, deadpanning at his words. “Your home. You act as if I live there.”

“You practically do,” he quipped back with ease, hair pressed against the chair’s headrest, smothering the thick black peaks, “What’s mine is yours, Y/N. There’s nothing I’d ever keep from you.”

“You deserve the world, and I’m going to give you every little bit of this world that I can.”

Her lips pursed into a tight smile, internally punching herself at the sweetness in his voice, the purity that he managed to sop into every word. Looking away from his gorgeous face, gaze retreating to the bustling city around them, Y/N contemplated his promise. 

It was impossible, the idea that he’d proposed. The thing that he vowed to her in the mornings, afternoons, and nights. The concept that she always loved to hear roll off of his tongue, but also wanted to throw out her open window. 

After all, how would Kuroo ever be able to give her the world—when her world was entirely him?

While his house was practically her second home, Y/N always seemed to notice the residence beside it before anything else.

As they pulled up in the driveway, Kuroo carefully parking his car between the stone gate and his grandfather’s buggy, both of their ears perked to the familiar sound of none other than Kozume Kenma. 

“You’re spending the night again?” He questioned peering over the fence, recognizing the extra duffel packed along with Y/N’s school bag. “You were just over last week. You’d think you guys would be sick of each other by now.”

Kuroo shook his head, making his way around the hood and opening the passenger door. “No way, pudding head.” He shouted, resting his elbow on the roof whilst slinging the small pack over his shoulder. “Only thing I’d ever get sick of is your cute little attitude.”

Y/N giggled, squinting her eyes to see the nonchalant expression that was undoubtedly gracing Kenma’s features. She wasn’t exactly close with him, having little to nothing in common other than their giant of a friend, but still held great respect for his dedication. 

Dedication as in the value to which he held his friendship with Kuroo.

Though she’d known their captain longer, there were times in which she wasn’t able to be by his side during matches or breakdowns. This usually having to do with her hanahaki forcing her to be immobile.

But it always turned out alright, since Kenma was there. He was always there to help, even when she’d forget to send him a warning text message or quick heads up. He was reliable as he was pessimistic, a truly unconventional friend that Y/N would be grateful for until the very end.

As Kuroo took her bags inside the house, insisting that he had to help even though she claimed that her muscles were feeling perfectly fine, Y/N waved to the younger boy, casually approaching his small figure.

Her steps were small, fallen leaves crunching beneath the soles of her sneakers. Autumn was beautiful this year, the oranges and yellows mixing together like the perfect sunset.

It was complementary, the colors—they reflected the sky in a dream-like synchronization. The last time fall had landed upon Japan, she and Kuroo had spent the entire day nestled together, jumping in the multiple piles of leaves and sipping spiced drinks by the fireplace.

While the memories were happy and nostalgic, they were a distraction. Nothing but recollections of false hope and ideologies that she’d ingrained into her brain as convincing factors that he did indeed love her—that he had just an inch of his heart that was completely reserved for her.

Kenma immediately opened his mouth, interrupting Y/N before she could ask him all about how his school day had gone. Her jaw dropped, the statement being said was unexpected, out of box in the current moment of relaxation.

“You still have hanahaki.” He looked straight into her eyes as if he were challenging her. If Y/N could see into his brain, there was no doubt that the gears would be turning rapidly in synchrony. “You’ve had it for years, Y/N. A normal person would’ve given up by now.”

She frowned, her lips curving into a downward arc, slightly appalled by the bluntness of his words, before furrowing her brows while she came up with an understandable response.

Her relationship with Kenma was civil, never straying from one of acquaintances, but there were sparse moments like this in which he’d blatantly say something personal—something that made her think that he knew more than he was letting on.

“I don’t think my case falls under the normal category.” Y/N whispered, choosing to reply with honesty over falsehood, while both of their gazes fled to Kuroo, who’d cheered as he successfully managed to unlock the front door with his hands full of bags. 

“You don’t have to worry about him,” she continued with a love-struck radiance. As if on natural instinct, her legs began to move towards the person that was her heart, abandoning Kenma to his side of the fence. 

With one final glance, she saw him nod at her last words. The words that she repeated to herself every time her flowers became too much, every time she needed to remember why she was here in the first place.

“As long as I’m still breathing, he’s got me.” She called out, chest warming at the sight of her little friend’s approval. The approval that meant more to her than any test grade or big win. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Heads up!” 

Before she could blink an eye, Y/N’s vision was covered by the thin grey fabric of Kuroo’s massive t-shirt. It draped over her head like a sheet in the night, the smell being clean and comforting, completely and utterly him.

Reaching up to take hold of the borrowed garment, she shoved his chest, feeling the vibrations of laughter rolling off of him in contagious waves. Despite how much he annoyed her, he could be quite amusing at times.

Their dynamic had always been an interesting one. Her being more logical and serious, whilst he was carefree and witty. They weren’t an obvious pair of best friends, but they did have the important things in common.

That being the value of hard work and dedication, whether that came to school assignments or volleyball—they both knew the true meaning of ambition and success, and would do anything to help the other achieve their dreams.

Opening the door to the guest bathroom, Y/N slipped Kuroo’s shirt over the tank top she’d been wearing, stripping herself of her undergarments beneath the endless fabric. She tossed her clothes into her duffel, zipping it tightly and placing it on the floor.

The Kuroo household was a place she was comfortable in, having been friends with the boy for nearly all of her life. It wasn’t uncommon for her to stop by and stay for dinner or overnight, considering his family adored her and considered her one of their own.

In their first year of high school, she’d spent a total of one-hundred and twenty nights wrapped up in his arms before his grandparents had decided to permanently mark the guest bedroom as her’s. 

Though she’d grown accustomed to the warmth of her best friend’s comforter, Y/N did have to admit that it was nice to have her own space. Her own space that also gave her the luxury of having the person she loved only one wall away.

As she dug through the right-hand drawer for the toothbrush and toothpaste that she always stored in the case that she’d be staying overnight, a rhythm of knocks ricocheted off of the hard wood.

“You ready?” She called out, walking past the sliding shower doors and turning the small door-knob. “I was just about to brush my teeth,” her words continued, stopping as she came face-to-face with her favorite giant. 

His smile was cheeky, mischief seemingly on his mind as he held up his own set of tools. “You waited for me, Y/N?” A sly smirk crept on his face, her words from earlier coming back to bite her in the butt. “Seems a little like fan behavior to me.”

Rolling her eyes, Y/N stepped aside, making room for his ginormous body in the quaint bathroom. The countertop wasn’t exactly large, having just enough space for the two of them to stand beside one another with their arms touching as they looked into their reflections.

Her eyes seemed distant, even to herself. The usual livelihood that inhabited her irises was absent, replaced with fragments of the person she once was, the person that had been overshadowed by dirt and disease.

Resentment was the only emotion she displayed, hatred for the pathetic reasoning behind her pain, the putrid dreams she wished would come true—but as Y/N looked away from the stress and worry, she saw him. She saw Kuroo.

Unlike her, his gaze wasn’t resting on himself. His eyes weren’t immediately attracted to his own appearance, choosing to lay on Y/N instead. His neck was angled down, a soft expression gracing his face while he simply admired her.

While he admired her like a boy in love.

They held eye contact for a brief moment, neither one wanting to end the intimate interaction, before he broke away. He snapped out of his trance, hands subconsciously reaching for the tube of toothpaste that had been forgotten by both minds. 

As they began to brush their teeth, Kuroo played troublemaker. Whether that meant making faces or mimicking Y/N’s actions, he found endless ways to humor her, wanting to see the smile on her face as she flipped him off.

The laughter wheezing from her lips was infectious, her body doubling over, forcing heavy chuckles from her love as well. It was a sight to see, two high schoolers in a minimal-sized bathroom, overcome with a fit of giggles—but that was simply them. It was simply Y/N and Kuroo.

With a mouth full of foam, she leaned past him and over the sink, expecting to see a mix of bubbles and white—only to be gifted with the mood-killing sight of blood and blossoms. 

She choked, gasping for air as the small roses fell from her throat. “Please,” she cried, gripping the ledge of the counter with a killer grasp, gesturing for Kuroo to leave the room. “I can’t breathe.”

But he didn’t listen, he didn’t leave. He didn’t cover his eyes and walk away like he normally did, respecting her wishes that he would never see her like this—like a complete and utter mess.

As her airway began to clear, her smiles turned to frowns, embarrassed of what he’d seen, the proof of her never-ending infatuation. However, Kuroo didn’t seem phased. He glanced at the flowers as if they were nothing, as if they weren’t a foul sight in itself.

He turned the faucet on, washing them away from her view, forcing the spray roses to dissolve and wither above the drain—and for some odd reason, Y/N’s heart hurt at his actions. 

It was the first time in months that he’d been present during one of her uproars. The first time in months that he had to see what she went through on a nearly daily basis, and he didn’t even blink an eye.

He looked at the physical representation of her love like it didn’t matter, like it was a pest that he had to kill. Like an unintentional rejection that his instincts dictated, a rejection that she feared for every moment of every day.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N muttered, refusing to meet the concern in his gaze. She squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out the inevitable judgement that she expected to come from his way—only to feel his rough hand take a hold of her chin, tilting it upwards towards his face.

Nothing was said, no remarks came from his end. Instead, he wordlessly stole the hand towel that’d been hanging on the shower door and dabbed away the blood that had soaked into the skin beneath her lips. 

He was unreadable.

No matter how hard she tried to analyze his thoughts, his actions, his posture; a blank canvas was all she’d painted. She wanted to keep apologizing for the things that were out of her control, but as she opened her mouth to speak, he interrupted with a question that she’d never expected to hear.

“If it weren’t for your hanahaki,” he began, brows furrowed in concentration, not allowing Y/N to pin-point what he was so focused on, if it was the disease or herself. “Do you think you’d know that you love them?”

“You know, your person?”

Her response was momentary, the gears in her brain working on overtime as she tried to find the meaning behind his words. Why the sudden curiosity? Did he have hanahaki? Was there someone he loved? 

Clearing her throat, making sure that there was no evidence of her accident, Y/N began to speak slowly. “Being in love is more than just a disease, Kuroo. It can’t be dimmed down to a single flower or infection.”

“I love him enough to put myself through pressure every day. I love him so much that it physically hurts me to think about him. He brings a light to this darkness that no other person can outshine—”

“—and I’d never give up on him.” Glass covered her eyes, tears struggling to roll down her cheeks as her peripheral vision grew blurry. In the midst of her tangent, Kuroo had pressed Y/N against his chest, rubbing her back in soft circles.

“He’s the other half of me, my true equal.” Bitterness was being laced in her tone, the irony of it all settling in. It was unfair. Her describing her everlasting love for the boy she’d do anything for. He was right beside her, and yet he seemed miles away.

“I’d know love for him even if I was healthy. Even if we were strangers, worlds apart.” Choking back the last of her cries, Y/N bit her lip, pushing away the warmth of his chest. “Trust me, Kuroo. You’d know if you were in love.”

For once in his life, he had no words. No comments or remarks that he was dying to say. His only response was a nod of the head, a curt acknowledgement of her feelings, before he turned and said a brief goodnight.

Before he turned and left Y/N with nothing but confusion, thoughts that would keep her restless and awake throughout the night. Itching concerns to creep up her veins and into her dreams.

If only he loved her, then all of this could’ve been avoided. If only he had asked her who her hanahaki was for, then maybe she would’ve confessed. Perhaps she’d be free and untethered from her illness. 

But he didn’t ask, and she didn’t confess. All she was left with was broken fragments of care, leftovers of love that she received through twisted questions and wonder. 

All she was left with was half of a heart, that would never find its whole.

2AM.

It was nearly two in the morning and Y/N was restless, chasing sleep like it was an everlasting punishment. Slumber being within her grasp, but stolen, kidnapped by the stress and worries that were Kuroo Tetsurou. 

Her mind was moving at a million miles per hour, overthinking and overworking the question that he’d asked her in the midst of their nightly routine. The curiosity that had somehow overcome his usual vigor and happiness. 

Panic settled in her throat, the feeling of thorns and stems inching their way up her neck and touching her tongue. She needed water, anything that could suppress the punishment for feeling love. 

Swinging her legs over the side of the queen-sized mattress, Y/N shivered as her feet touched the cold floor. Her steps were light, trying her best to be completely silent, not wanting to disturb the actual members of the household.

The trip to the kitchen was short. An easy route for her after having taken many midnights trips before, since her hanahaki always seemed to act up whenever she stayed overnight. 

Finding a small glass and filling it to the brim with tap water, Y/N gulped it down, savoring every last bit as if there was no other substance on Earth. The liquid ran down her throat, pushing past the vines and forcing them into their home that was her heart. 

“You’re up late.” 

Y/N jumped, nearly smashing the cup on the counter as the familiar voice of Kuroo’s obaachan crept up from behind her. She sighed, taking a deep breath before facing the old woman.

Her relationship with his family had grown extremely close in the years that they’d known each other. She was practically considered a member of the family, them always wanting her around no matter what the circumstances were.

But she and obaachan were different compared to how she bonded with the Kuroo men. Unlike the others, his grandmother was observant, knowing of the love that Y/N had for her favorite boy. Knowing of the cause of her hanahaki.

“Obaachan.” She greeted her weakly, holding up the glass as an excuse for the timing of their interaction. “I’m sorry if I woke you, I didn’t mean to cause any havoc.”

The old woman simply smiled, approaching Y/N with a loving hand and placing it on her shoulder in comfort. “It’s alright dear,” she squeezed her palm, feeling the younger girl’s struggling heartbeat. “It’s not your fault.”

Y/N grimaced, shaking her head in defeat. “But it is,” she admitted. She’d always take blame for her hanahaki. It was a virus in not only her life, but everyone around her. “It’s my fault that I’m unwell.”

“No, dear.” Obaachan cupped her hands around her cheeks, challenging her eyes, not taking her answer or excuses. A sad smile graced her lips, sorrow in her irises. “You’re not unwell..you’re in love.”

Tears grew from the corners of Y/N’s sockets, waterworks beginning to roll down her cheeks at the familiar feeling of the comforting touch of a Kuroo. She broke down, her walls shattering in front of the only person who understood. The only person who would truly listen. 

“Why won’t he love me?” She cried out, pain overtaking her whole body. The pent up emotions were collapsing like tidal waves, storming throughout her heart. “Why won’t I ever deserve him?”

Concern furrowed in the older woman’s brows at the sight of Y/N breaking down. Her grandson’s best friend was one of the strongest people she knew, and knowing that her struggles were this great was indescribably disheartening. 

“My Tetsurou has been a caretaker all of his life,” she started, gently speaking in languid sentences, doing her best to keep Y/N’s attention on her and not her pain. “Whether it was for me, my husband, or Kenma—he takes on more responsibility than he can handle.”

“His heart is so big, so full of love for everyone other than himself.” She continued, her words beginning to settle in Y/N’s mind. “And in the midst of that, I don’t think he realizes that he’s capable of experiencing love as well.”

“He doesn’t realize that everything he could ever want is standing right in front of him.”

Obaachan was whispering now, her voice being soft but commanding. It was frightening, the passion that she held for her grandson. The passion that she held for her dreams of his happiness. Her dreams of him finding his true love.

“While love is a chemical feeling, it has no chemical solution.” Y/N swallowed hard, taking in every single thing she was saying. Letting her statements ingrain themselves into her memory. “This disease doesn’t define your future, my dear.”

“Whomever you choose to love will be lucky, Y/N—but I have to say, I truly hope that my Tetsurou has luck on his side.”

It’d been almost a month since the fateful overnight encounter, Obbachan’s words playing on repeat, over and over again until they grew tiresome. The idea that Kuroo could perhaps love her was haunting, terrorizing her very soul. 

Despite the shift in their energy, the elephant in the room being his unexpected question and her never ending response, their friendship continued on like normal.

They’d go to school, spend time together afterwards, perhaps even have a sleepover, and repeat. It was all the same, not a thing out of place except for a major detail that couldn’t be explained. 

The presence of Y/N’s hanahaki was little to none.

Her flowers decreased, the numbers becoming smaller and smaller every single time she took the time to count. The disease that had become a constant in her life had suddenly disappeared, confusing her to a maximum.

She didn’t feel like she’d fallen out of love for Kuroo, there was still a large part of her heart that was reserved for him and only him—yet her roses were invisible, the trips to the bathroom were down to none. 

And while those statistics had fallen, the number of quick glances, stolen touches, and late night conversations had increased. She and Kuroo did everything together before, but now it was as if they were inseparable at all times.

It was as if his heart had finally opened up, accepted her presence and locked it into place, never wanting to let it go. Y/N couldn’t determine what had gotten into him, what made the sudden change in behavior.

But her flowers were gone and her love still remained. All that needed to be said was a confession, a confession of the love that she hoped was mutual. The one-sided love that she’d secretly harbored for years on years.

Mindlessly walking down the school hallway, passing by classmates and advisors, Y/N contemplated the future of her and Kuroo’s relationship. The future of her heart and if it would ever find its other half. The other half that so happened to take a hold of her hand at that very moment.

Kuroo seemed on edge, his heartbeat was quick, throbbing against Y/N’s palm as he dragged her towards the closest empty classroom. Without warning he closed the door, drowning out the scattered noises of everyone on the other side of the wall.

“Hey.” He said, breathing heavily. His shoulders were rising and falling, his breaths deep as if he’d just ran a marathon on his path to retrieve her. “I really needed to talk to you.”

Y/N almost toppled over, the strength of his grasp tripping and unbalancing her body. As her vision began to stabilize, wobbly from the sprint, she took notice of the classroom he’d brought her to.

Flowers lined the walls and ceilings, potted plants hanging from the wooden beams and arches. Soil was sprinkled over the floorboards, various footprints etched into the dirt. 

He’d taken her to the floriculture classroom—the classroom for the study of flowers.

Silence overcame them for a moment, neither one speaking a single word as they stared deeply into each other’s eyes. Her confession was at the tip of her tongue, ready to be said, ready to be spoken into existence—but Kuroo spoke first.

“I’ve never had it.” He simply said, his mouth pursed and head towering over her. Before she could respond, asking him what in the world he was talking about, he continued. “Hanahaki. I’ve never had it.”

Biting his lips, Kuroo took her hands in his once more. Rubbing her palms with his calloused fingertips, easing away her confusion and speaking his feelings with his entire heart weighed into them.

“All this time, for all these years, I thought that I’d never known love.” His brows furrowed in concentration, and for the first time, Y/N could tell what he was so focused on. It was her. 

“I asked you how you knew that you were in love, flowers or not, and the way you described that feeling..it was familiar. It was something that I’d felt before, something that I felt all of the time.”

“Something that I felt all of the time for you.”

Y/N was at a loss for words, the confession that she’d always wanted to say being said to her. The very moment that she’d dreamed of was actually coming true, it was actually happening right in front of her eyes. It wasn’t her imagination—it was real. Kuroo loved her.

The smile spread across her face was more than enough to ease his nerves, her teeth were so bright they could’ve been compared to the sun. He couldn’t help but think of how beautiful she looked, how she was his sun.

“I’m so sorry my love hasn’t been constant, Y/N. It shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize the patterns, how your hanahaki came and went. It was my fault you’ve gone through so much pain.”

“But even here,” he whispered, pulling her close. His arms wrapped themselves around her body, his nose being mere inches away from hers. “With all of the flowers anyone could ever ask for, the only one that matters is you.”

She could feel his breath now, the soft breeze against her cheeks. Her body wanted to surge forward, connect their lips in a final confirmation of their feelings. She wanted the kiss with Kuroo that she’d been waiting for for her entire life. 

“I love you.” He admitted, not waiting for her response before pressing his mouth to hers.

His smile could be felt between their lips, moving continuously as if they didn’t need any air to breathe. After all, they really only needed each other—Kuroo was the missing piece to Y/N’s puzzle, her heart was finally whole.

As they broke apart, love radiating off of them in contagious waves, overwhelming the room, igniting the aura—a cheeky grin grew on her new lover’s face. 

He plucked a flower from the pot behind her head, presenting it with a laugh at the sight of her rolling her eyes in mock annoyance. Although she found him to be ridiculous, she accepted it gratefully—loving the new chapter that they were about to embark on.

“I heard you like roses?”

© aitarose.tumblr 2021. do not copy or claim my writing, works, themes, copy and paste my words, or headers as your own

[fandomwriterstuff]

Quarantine Queen

Darcy was, for all intents and purposes, an extrovert. She thrived on being around people, engaging with them, all that jazz. So when Dr. Doom’s minions released a pathogen that led to the entirety of Manhattan being quarantined and sick with an extra-strength virus, she started going stir crazy.

She lived in an apartment building not too far from the Avengers Tower (where she worked in the labs). However, she barely left the tower and only slept in her apartment. She never had food stocked in the fridge. Just vodka in the freezer and some microwave meals stacked behind it.

So, when everything went into lockdown while she was asleep, she panicked.

Can I go to the grocery store? I don’t have any food.

She’d sent it in the tower group chat, hoping the resident Avengers would know more about the situation than she did.

Tin Man: What do you mean no food? You’re the one always making us come to family dinner at the tower.

She rolled her eyes and sent back: Yeah, at the tower. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a meal in my apartment.

Tin Man: I’ll have JARVIS order essentials to be sent to your apartment with no-contact delivery.

HawkDaddy: I got the sickness, please send me soup.

Darcy frowned. It had only been a day since the quarantine started, how did he get sick so fast?

Tin Man: I only send delivery to my favorites.

HawkDaddy: :(

Darcy laughed and rolled her eyes. Her friends were so weird. But then again, she was friends with a bunch of super people. She couldn’t even make friends in her apartment complex because she was never there.

She ended up pulling her knitting supplies out from under her bed to make a Mjolnir-themed sweater for Thor. There wasn’t much work she could do from home since Jane was also not in the labs.

She knitted and had Ted Lasso on in the background on the TV until six, when there was a knock on her door. She startled, dropping a stitch, but quickly recovered and hurried to look through the peephole. Nobody there. She opened the door a crack and looked around, nobody was there. But when she looked down there were about forty bags of groceries in front of her door.

She shot a text to the group.

Holy Mjolnir. That is a lot of groceries.

She added a picture of the mountain of brown paper bags in front of her door.

Tony: You’re welcome, kiddo.

Darcy smiled. Tony could be very thoughtful sometimes. As she started hauling it all inside she took a look at what ‘the basics’ meant. It included oat milk, various canned goods and frozen vegetables, toilet paper and feminine hygiene products (her favorite brand of tampons… was he a mind reader?). He’d even sent her over a tin of brownies.

So, Darcy made it a hobby to be a homebody. As long as she could pass the time, she would be okay. One day turned into two, two into three, then it had been a week, two weeks, three weeks since the quarantine started. It took Darcy three weeks to realize a few things. She’d barely changed out of her pajamas in over a week. She hadn’t showered in nine days. She hadn’t ingested anything but coffee and Ritz crackers for six days. She hadn’t answered Jane’s video calls in three days. She’d been ignoring the group text for two, as it was starting to give her heart palpitations. She hadn’t even moved from the couch to go to her bed last night and woke up with a sore back.

She didn’t notice any of this, of course, until she got another video call. Thinking it was Jane, she just swiped it, but instead of swiping to end it, she accidentally swiped to answer it.

“Fuck!” She shouted as her phone slipped from her hand and onto the rug.

“You know a ‘hello’ would have worked, too,” so that was definitely not Jane’s voice.

“Tony?” she asked as she picked up the phone and looked at the man’s face. She wished she hadn’t though, as he immediately raised an eyebrow at her.

“Have you looked in a mirror like… At all in the past several days? That crust looks several days old, mamacita,” Darcy looked down at her sweaty t-shirt and mens boxer shorts self-consciously. “I mean your face, darling. Have you washed it recently?” His tone softened and that’s when Darcy realized something was wrong. Tony wasn’t soft with her. Sarcastic, sassy, nosy, that’s how she’d describe their relationship. But it was never this sincere.

“Hold on,” her voice was scratchy with disuse and she left her phone face up on the coffee table as she hurried over to her bathroom sink.

Shit. She looked like a wreck. Her hair was a greasy mess piled on top of her head. She couldn’t remember the last time she washed her face. It was a miracle she wasn’t developing acne. After she thoroughly scrubbed the grime off her face, she went to change into other pajamas, but she was thinning out. It was weird. She couldn’t find anything that fit right on her body so she just threw on a pair of blue gingham boxers and one of Tony’s stolen band t-shirts.

“That’s a little better,” Tony spoke when she came back to her phone. “Though I would suggest getting in the shower sometime soon.” She rolled her eyes at that. Maybe.

“Why did you video call me?” She pondered as she settled back down into her couch, feeling a little cleaner.

“You haven’t answered my texts in days. I’m allowed to worry about my friends, Darcy Lewis,” he raised both eyebrows at her and she winced. “I know this quarantine has been hard on everyone, but it’s also okay to not be okay. You’re used to being around people 24/7. You even said yourself that you never eat alone.”

“I’m fine,” she shrugged. “Just used to socializing and doing work. I’m not used to sitting still.”

“Are you sure that’s all? Jane said you haven’t been answering her either.”

“Jane snitched?” She gasped and narrowed her eyes. “Who else?”

Suddenly the man looked very innocent.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he spoke calmly with a lilt to his voice.

“Who else told you they’re worried about me?” Darcy wanted to cross her arms but she was stuck holding her phone.

“Jane and Thor, Clint, Natasha, Bruce, Steve-”

“How the fuck? What would they know? I don’t socialize with them outside of the tower so how the fuck would they know something was going on?” She spat, feeling a little defensive and teamed up on.

“You haven’t answered Jane’s calls, so she and Thor are concerned. Clint hasn’t seen you on X-Box live since the first week of quarantine, so he asked about you. Natasha seems to just know things, so she asked me to check in on you. Bruce knows what it’s like to have to be alone all of the time and was wondering how his favorite extrovert was doing. And Steve-”

“Go on, I’d like to hear this,” Darcy muttered. She’d had the biggest crush on Steve for the longest time, but they didn’t talk much since he didn’t work in the labs. They only socialized at family dinners and movie nights.

“He hasn’t heard you blast music in like six days,” Tony said with a quirked eyebrow. Darcy sputtered.

“What does that even mean?” She asked, throwing her free hand up.

“He lives next to you?” Tony said it like a question.

“I thought he lived at the tower,” Darcy frowned, eyeing up the wall she shared with the neighbor she’d never met.

“You- you didn’t know you lived next to Steve?” Tony asked exasperatedly. He shook his head and Darcy felt her cheeks heating. She wasn’t the most observant at times, and they’d been in quarantine for three weeks. It’s not like she was going outside. Plus, before that she was barely ever here. “This is a new level of unobservant. For someone who works in science, this is shocking.”

“It’s not that shocking,” she sputtered, scratching the back of her head. “I was barely ever here before all of this.”

“Fair, but still. For someone who has a Steve-radar, you probably could have figured it out. I mean,” he sighed. “You have the same commute. You work in the same building. When you leave movie night you go to the same place.”

“Yeah but usually I go to ang with Jane first,” Darcy felt like she had to defend herself. “I gotta go, I need to take a shower,” and with that, she cut him off and hung up with a huff. Who did he think he was, her father? Jeez.

As she stripped out of her fresh pajamas (probably not so fresh anymore since she’d been sweating nervously under Tony’s interrogative tone), she noticed even more how thin her fingers were looking, how cold she was. That was probably a bad thing.

However, the thoughts flew from her mind as she stepped into the hot spray of water and just leaned into it. It was nearly a religious experience. Or, it would have been, if she didn’t know that gods were just aliens. She took way too long in there, shampooing twice and just letting the hot water pour over her pale skin. She hadn’t been able to go outside and tan at all this summer with Jane being near a breakthrough and now with the quarantine.

All she’d done was knit and watch TV and cook. She finished Thor’s sweater and decided to knit one for all of the resident Avengers. Thor’s was maroon with little gold Mjolnirs all over it. Bruce’s was cream with little chemical structures all over it (she didn’t think he would wear a shirt with the Hulk all over it). Tony’s was black with a red and gold iron man helmet on the front and “I am Iron Man” on the back. Natasha’s was red with little knives and guns all over it. Clint’s (obviously) was purple with bows and arrows all over it, and “Legolas” on the back (Legolas was his favorite archer, how could Katniss or Merida even compare to an immortal elven archer?).

She was working on Steve’s now. He wasn’t all “apple pie America” in his free time, but she still wanted it to be cute and on theme. It was navy blue with a very complex eagle and waving american flag on it. Darcy was struggling, but she would be finished with it soon. She’d been knitting her whole life, her grandmother had taught her when she lived with her for a while.

She’d send them all out once they were done.

When Darcy finally exited the shower, fresh and smelling like roses and strawberries, she noticed she had another missed call from Jane and a few texts in the group chat. Her heart rate started ratcheting up. She could smell her deodorant in the air as she started sweating slightly. She licked her dry lips. Since when did she get anxious about group chats?

She took a look and smiled softly at her friends’ names.

Nat: I’ve come down with something. I blame Clint.

HawkDaddy: I was sick THREE WEEKS AGO. Why do you blame me?

Nat: You have a guilty face.

HawkDaddy: [download image]

Darcy quickly clicked on the attachment and giggled at Clint’s pouting face. She didn’t think before responding.

You know better than all of us that pouting is not going to sway Natasha’s opinion.

There was suddenly an influx of messages, and then Darcy remembered that she hadn’t responded in several days.

Nat: She’s right, you know.

That was the most normal response. Darcy had a feeling Natasha was the most emotionally intelligent one at the moment and didn’t want to make Darcy feel bad about falling into a depression hole.

HawkDaddy: Marceline the Vampire Queen has returned to us!

Tin Man: I think if anything, Short Stack is Princess Bubblegum.

Here’s Brucey: Darcy is Finn. She’s out here saving all of us all the time. Welcome back :)

Darcy smiled at that one. She’d convinced Clint and the scientists to watch Adventure Time.

America’s Ass: I am so confused.

America’s Ass: [download image]

Darcy laughed as she clicked on Steve’s gif. It was Lemongrab screaming ‘unacceptable.’ She didn’t know which was funnier: Steve not knowing what was going on and actually picking a gif from Adventure time, OR Steve having watched Adventure Time on his own and trolling them.

Alien of Thunder: My lightning sister has returned to the glorious group chat!

Alien of Thunder: This is cause for celebration!

Darcy sighed and smiled at her friends’ antics. Her anxiety had leveled out and she was feeling better than she had in days. First, she got to see Tony’s lovely face. Now she got to text with her friends.

However, it was time to finish Steve’s sweater.

“Friday,” she called out to the speaker in her living room. “Play ‘The Final Countdown,’” Darcy grinned a shark-like grin as she sat in her recliner and got her needles out. She could do this.

It was two more days before she called Tony again.

“What’s up stranger?” He asked when Darcy’s face popped up on the screen.

“I need to have something delivered to each of you. Can you help?” She looked over at the pile of sweaters wrapped in brown paper.

“Yeah, sure. Bruce did some tests on Steve and he seems to be immune due to his super DNA. He can pick it up and deliver it,” Tony was fiddling with a machine and Darcy nodded.

“I’ll text him then, thanks Tony!” And with that she hung up. Though she quickly shot a text to Steve.

I have a mission, should you choose to accept it.

While she waited, she decided to deep clean her room. Nothing would help her get out of her quarantine depression like summer cleaning! Once the entire apartment was vacuumed, mopped, dusted, and Lysol’d, she checked her phone again. Steve just replied.

Hit me with it.

She chuckled and sent back a picture of the stack of presents and the caption: I made something for each of you guys and I need help delivering it.

A moment later she sent another text: Tony said you were immune to the virus so I was wondering if you would help.

It only took a few minutes for Steve to reply.

Sure thing, Darcy :)

She smiled, he was genuinely one of the kindest people she’d met. He was just her type, too: tall, strong, he could swear like a sailor (not that he would let Tony know). While she was pondering her crush on the American icon, a knock sounded on her door, startling her out of her daydream and making her heart rate soar.

Hurrying over to the peephole, she let out a sigh of relief. It was Steve.

When she opened the door he looked down and smiled. When Darcy looked down, she noticed her outfit: a pair of black leggings (thankfully she had decided on pants that morning), and a “HULK SMASH” t-shirt with green and purple tie dye. Well, no use being bashful, she smiled gratefully at the man and let him in.

“I guess since you’re immune you’re allowed to come in,” she quipped and Steve chuckled.

“Thanks,” he rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “What did you make?”

“It’s a surprise,” Darcy winked and Steve felt a blush creep up his neck. “I can’t tell you because I made you one, too. You can’t open yours until everyone else has theirs, too. Okay? And no peeking at theirs. And don’t look in the group chat until you open it. Got it?”

“That’s a lot of rules, Darce,” he was smiling, standing in her newly cleaned apartment and in her personal space like it was totally normal and she hadn’t been isolated for nearly a month.

“I know, but it’s an important mission,” she loaded his arms up with little brown packages and sighed when he went to leave. He turned back to her with a curious look on his face. “It’s nice being able to see somebody in person,” she shrugged and he nodded sagely.

“Well, after I go see everyone I should self-isolate for a few days to make sure I’m not carrying any germs, but maybe after we can get together and watch a movie?” He cocked his head and smiled that winning smile at her.

“That would be lovely,” Darcy couldn’t help but return his smile, and hurried to escort him out. “No peeking!” She called as he laughed his way to the stairwell. He was such a good guy.

Darcy waited anxiously as Steve made his way to the tower and the other Avengers’ abodes. It was taking a little while though… Maybe he had walked? Darcy was nervously scrolling through her Instagram feed when the first message popped up.

It was a picture of Clint’s sweater.

HawkDaddy: Oh Em Gee, Darcy. It’s PERFECT.

Darcy felt warmth blooming in her chest at the sentiment. She loved giving to people. She thrived on happiness.

She kept quiet as the pictures started coming in. Tony was next, and then Bruce (probably working in the labs together with their N95 masks on).

Tin man: Short Stack, you’ve outdone yourself.

Attached was a photo of the sweater (front and back) compared to his actual face plate. It was pretty good, if she did say so herself.

Here’s Brucey: This is perfect, Darcy.

Bruce had actually included a selfie of himself giving a thumbs up. It made a giggle bubble up out of her chest. Nat was next, including a picture of her sweater next to her favorite knife and a handgun with the message: They are very realistic, I’m impressed.

That was a good compliment, and it went straight to Darcy’s head.

Thor was next, and he sent a picture of Jane absolutely drowning in the large sweater, and then a close up of a tiny knitted Mjolnir.

Alien of Thunder: A most excellent representation of my hammer, lightning sister. I shall wear it with pride.

Last, she waited for Steve to get home and open his.

When it finally came in, Darcy giggled at the image of Steve wearing a knitted sweater with an eagle and a billowing flag, hands on his hips. It was a sight to be seen.

America’s Ass: I’ve never worn a more appropriate sweater.

Darcy finally wrote in the group chat: Quarantine phase I: Darcy gets bored and knits everyone a sweater.

She was met with ‘LOL’s and laughing face emojis. Life was good for today, nothing dark on the horizon, she’d made her friends happy, and she had an upcoming movie night with Steve.

Darcy settled in on her couch and got ready for a night of Adventure Time.

Darcy spent two days in her post-sweater-delivery happy mood. Two excellent days where she showered, ate three meals, did a workout, messaged all of her friends. But reality set in. She didn’t know when she’d see them again. She didn’t know when she could hug Jane or go back to work. She hadn’t talked to Tony or Pepper but she was still getting her biweekly paychecks. She felt guilty about that. She felt guilty that she wasn’t brainy enough to help fix the virus or strong enough to have fought Dr. Doom’s minions.

So she was laying on her side on the couch listening to sad music on day three after the delivery. She hadn’t showered or eaten yet and it was four in the afternoon. Her phone buzzed and she ignored it, content to wallow in her Star Trek fleece jumpsuit. Her phone may have buzzed a few more times, but Darcy didn’t pay attention. She was busy having some time to herself.

She did just that for another three days, and took notice again of her slimming figure.

“Who knew depression holes and not being hungry would be the thing that finally helped me lose weight?” She asked the universe.

Darcy had gotten another shipment of food and supplies, but she didn’t Lysol down her door or clean each item before using them this time.

And she would pay for it.

She woke up on the sixth day after the sweater delivery feeling oh so tired. Figuring it was due to the lack of sustenance and exercise, Darcy decided to make herself some toast. She barely made it out of her room before the dizziness hit her.

Darcy sent a text to the group.

What are the symptoms? Help a girl out.

She started getting responses immediately.

HawkDaddy: Fever, body aches, fatigue

Nat: Dizziness, lessened appetite

Tin Man: Runny nose, sinus congestion, vomiting

Darcy gulped from her position on the floor (she sat down in the doorway when she started getting dizzy).

How many do I have to have before I have to go see a doctor?

She groaned as she sent the message and pulled herself up, trudging into her kitchen. The thought of ingesting anything nauseated her, so she made her way back to the couch, where she promptly fell asleep.

She woke up at noon choking on her own snot.

“Fuck,” she got the word out before she stumbled into the kitchen to blow her nose. After she’d friction burned her nose by using napkins as tissues, she slowly walked back to the couch (thanks dizziness) to check her phone. Three missed video calls from Tony, one from Jane, and a lot of texts.

America’s Ass: Are you alright, Darcy?

That was not in the group, it was a separate message, so Darcy answered that with a message before looking at the group.

I woke up super tired, super dizzy. Was awake for five minutes before I passed out on the couch. Woke up a disgusting mess and had to blow my nose with napkins because I don’t own tissues. So no, probably not.

Then, she checked the group chat. It was basically a conspiracy theory contest to guess what had happened to Darcy over the past few hours. Had she passed out from sickness? Gotten annoyed and started ignoring them? Fell down the stairs? Gotten kidnapped?

She shook her head and looked down at Steve’s next text.

I’ll make you some soup. Drink lots of water and get lots of rest.

She smiled at the sentiment. Steve was really sweet. She did what he said and grabbed a cup of water before retreating to the couch and scrolling through her Facebook. She kept getting group texts, though, so she put her phone away and threw on some mindless TV.

Darcy woke up to a knock on her door. It startled her, but she figured it was probably Steve. Nobody else would risk coming into contact with another human being. Darcy shuffled over to the door in her fleece pajama pants and birthday hedgehog t-shirt (a classic pajama day outfit) and looked through the peephole. She was right, Steve was awaiting her.

“Hey Darce,” he smiled down at her when she opened the door. “How are you feeling?”

“Like garbage,” she muttered. “Please, come in,” he stepped inside with a Tupperware full of noodle soup. “Oh my god, you really made me soup?” She looked up at him with wide eyes and he smiled bashfully.

“Friends don’t let friends get sick and not have soup,” he laughed and Darcy turned, misty eyed, towards the kitchen. People didn’t often do nice things for her, that was her job.

“You’re a lifesaver, Steven,” she spoke once she’d gotten control of her emotions and ushered him towards the kitchen table. “Come, sit with me,” she groaned as she lowered herself into the chair. The body aches were coming in waves.

“How are you holding up?” He asked once the two were sitting and Darcy had a full bowl of steaming soup in front of her.

“Well I think I’ve definitely got the virus. Either that or I’ve got a serious case of the flu. But I got my flu shot this year so…” She trailed off and shrugged. Steve frowned and reached over to press the back of his hand against her forehead. She tried not to act startled at the contact. It had been… Some amount of weeks since she’d touched another person.

“You do feel warm, do you have a thermometer?” She shook her head at his inquiry and the frown deepened. She didn’t like making Steve frown.

“Is it even worth going to the doctor?” She sighed and slouched into her chair. “It’s not like they can do anything but tell me to ride it out.”

“They could always prescribe you something for the symptoms,” he shrugged, looking thoughtful. “Something for the dizziness and aches.”

“Maybe, I’ll consider it,” she took a careful spoonful of soup and frowned. “I can’t taste it. Why can’t I taste it?” She took another spoonful and looked up at Steve with wide eyes. “Is that a thing?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t been keeping up with the news since it doesn’t really affect me,” he trailed off with a sheepish look on his face. “I’ll ask Tony.” He whipped out his smartphone and shot a text to Tony, fingers flying over the keyboard.

“I’m so sad I can’t taste your soup,” she was full of woe. “This is a travesty,” she whined and set the spoon back down. “I wasn’t even hungry and now I can’t taste anything?” She looked up at Steve with a pout.

“You should still eat, Darcy. I know it’s not super pleasant, but you need fuel,” he offered her a sympathetic smile, and gestured for her to take another bite, which she did (albeit slowly and with less excitement). “Tony said loss of smell and taste is a common symptom,” Darcy stood abruptly, ignoring the dizziness to find her lighter and light the ocean scented candle that had been sitting on her counter for a year. She lit it without preamble and then leaned in to give it a good sniff.

“Awe, come on,” she bemoaned, looking at Steve with that rumpled kitten look that made him want to wrap her up in a blanket and cuddle her.

“No scent either, huh?” He asked and she nodded, blowing out the candle before returning to her soup. “You’ll get through this. I’d be happy to drive you to the doctor if you’re not feeling well enough to drive,” Steve offered and Darcy was struck once again by how kind this man was.

“You’re too nice, Steve. Someone’s going to snatch you up one day,” she winked conspiratorially at him. He flushed, and she smiled inwardly. “Though, I don’t have a physician. I just go to medical at the tower.”

Steve hummed in understanding. It made sense for her, she lived, ate, and worked in the tower. No need to find a physician elsewhere when she could get treated at the state of the art facilities right nearby.

“To the tower then?” He asked as Darcy took the last few bites of her soup.

“To the tower,” she confirmed.

“Would you like to go now?”

She thought for a moment.

“Let me change and grab a mask from Tony’s most recent grocery drop. And then I’ll be ready,” she wanted to rush, but moving too fast had her head spinning. So, she shuffled over to her room, one hand on the wall at all times to keep her precarious balance.

Once she was in a pair of comfy leggings and a warm sweater (this one was violet), she threw a beanie over her slightly dirty hair and slapped a mask on her face.

“I’m ready,” her voice was muffled and Steve raised his eyebrows.

“It’s summer, and you have a fever,” he was nearly chiding her and she pouted. Unfortunately, the look went unnoticed past her mask.

“I’m chilly,” she finally said and he got that worried look again.

“Come on,” he held his arm out for her to take and she latched on gratefully. The dizziness was getting to her. “I texted Tony and asked him to have someone ready at medical for us,” he spoke softly as they headed for the elevator. It was a short ride down, and not too long by the time they made it to the tower.

“Short Stack, you look severely overdressed,” Tony was also wearing a mask, maybe two by the looks of it. He eyed their linked arms and quirked an eyebrow. “What’s that about?” He wasn’t one to mince words.

“Tony, now is not the time,” Darcy grunted through her mask. “I am freezing, I am dizzy, I sneezed into this mask more than once. I need Steve to help keep me from falling over. Are we good here?” She narrowed her eyes, attempting to get her frustration across without the lower half of her face. It worked.

“Right as rain, follow me,” Darcy could see his fingers flying over his fancy phone, but couldn’t tell who he was messaging. Her phone wasn’t vibrating, so it was unlikely to be the group chat.

When they made it to medical, Steve helped Darcy into a chair and then stood there for a moment, looking out of place.

“You’re welcome to stay and sit, Steve. You could also go explore the tower or something but I am unlikely to stand up without assistance again,” she spoke quietly, and he gave her a little smile before sitting down next to her.

“Not much for me to do in the tower, what with everybody being home from work,” he shrugged. “I have been going a little stir crazy.”

“You and I both. I miss Jane and her crazy science benders. I miss all of the scientists, actually,” Darcy frowned, picking at her fingernails (a habit she’d picked up recently). “I miss family dinner nights,” she muttered and Steve nodded in agreement.

“You do make excellent dinners, and it’s nice having some off-time with the others,” he added and she smiled with her eyes.

“Thanks, Steve-o.”

It looked like he wanted to say something else (she could tell because he didn’t need to wear a mask), but doctor McCoy walked in.

“You look tired, doc,” Darcy commented. There were red lines around where his mask sat on his face, and his usually fiery eyes were dulled.

“It’s been a long few weeks, Lewis,” he countered and she nodded. “Captain Rogers,” he nodded to Darcy’s escort and the super soldier nodded back.

“Bones has been dealing with me since I moved to the tower. For all sorts of things,” Darcy explained their familiarity.

“You come here a lot?” Steve asked with a concerned laugh.

“I get into a lot of lab accidents. One time Thor hugged me too hard and bruised my ribs. Clint once fell out of the vents and onto me and gave me a head injury. For someone as robust looking as I am, I am quite fragile,” she shrugged at Steve’s bewildered look.

“Well you are only human,” Doctor McCoy noted before getting into professional mode and taking her vitals.

“Why are you called Bones?” Steve asked when he was taking Darcy’s temperature.

“It’s a nickname his college roommate gave him, you tell him doc,” Darcy smirked and the good doctor rolled his eyes.

“My wife got everything in the divorce. I got nothin left but my bones,” he sighed dramatically before announcing that she had a fever. “What other symptoms are you having?” As they got into the nitty gritty, Steve reclined in his chair and watched with interest. It seemed like Darcy had friends everywhere. In medical, in the labs, with the security team and the Avengers. Hell, he’d even seen her bring coffee down to accounting before.

“I’m gonna be straight with you, Lewis,” the doctor sighed, looking down at his notes. “There’s not much I can do for this virus but treat the symptoms and hope you ride this out. You can take this for the fever, and this for the runny nose and sneezing,” he looked up at her as he passed the post it note over. “Not much I can do for your taste, smell, and dizziness, but I’d suggest keeping in contact with your resident super soldier in case something happens,” he eyed Steve up at that, and the other man nodded his agreement. “Drink lots of water, invest in some gatorade. Don’t drink it straight, mix it half and half with water. It tastes gross but it’s better for you. Get some rest, and I suggest finding a show to binge watch until you’re feeling better.”

“Any recommendations for that, Doc?”

“I highly recommend Star Trek,” he murmured with a smile.

“And any recommendations on how to stop being so fucking depressed about this quarantine situation?” She was half joking, and the doctor chuckled.

“Damn it Lewis,” he shook his head. “I’m a doctor, not a therapist,” it actually made her laugh, and Steve was disappointed by how muffled it sounded from behind her mask.

“I’ll have to find one of those, then,” she laughed as she went to get up, holding onto the back of the chair. “Thanks for these, doc,” she waved the paper in front of her and latched onto Steve when he offered his arm again.

“Take care of yourself,” he called as the two left the room.

“He seems like a swell guy,” Steve commented and Darcy hummed.

“He is. He deserves better than what he got, but it is what it is,” she shrugged. “You ready to head home, soldier?” She looked up at him and he got the feeling she was smiling.

“Sure am,” he replied, and when they got back Darcy shooed Steve off for a little while so she could take a bath and clean up.

“Want to come over for a movie later?”

“As long as it’s not The Hunger Games again,” Steve laughed and Darcy smirked, now that her mask was off.

“What, Clint’s favorite is getting to you?”

“I’m just curious how he gets to pick every time,” Steve emphasized as he made his way to the door.

Darcy only shrugged.

“We pick based on arbitrary things. Who ate the most pop tarts this week. Who wore the least amount of yellow. Who won the prank war. Etcetera,” she shrugged.

Steve only rolled his eyes before he waved and left.

Darcy sagged. Walking around and being peppy had exhausted her. Since when did she need to recharge after socializing. When this was all over, she’d need to reacclimate to her extroverted life.

They watched Star Trek that night (the one with Chris Pine) and Darcy stayed sick for four more days. She was avidly enjoying the group chat and her Netflix subscription since she couldn’t focus enough to knit and couldn’t do much else. Steve came by often to hang out or share meals with her. Sometimes they just sat on the couch and talked. It was nice getting to know him better. She’d always had a surface relationship with him. Not in a bad way, but they were both always busy.

When she was feeling better, she knitted him a pair of comfy socks and baked him some molasses cookies in thanks. He said it wasn’t a problem, he liked spending time with her. She blushed profusely but insisted he take them.

Darcy sometimes felt so unbearably lonely and sad, feeling stuck in her own home was hard. But she checked herself and reminded herself that she was very lucky. Not everyone got to hang out with a super soldier on the daily. Someone who couldn’t get sick. It was hard to remind herself that she had it better than a lot of people. But then again, a lot of people didn’t live alone and had their families to be around. It was weird. She wasn’t sure if she should be grateful or guilty.

She talked about her conflicting feelings with Steve a week after she got better.

“I just don’t know whether I should be grateful that I have you, and that I’m not alone, or whether I should feel guilty that I still feel stuck here and lonely when I do have you. Or on the third hand, whether I should be feeling some sort of way that I haven’t picked up a new skill or started working out in the past…” She trailed off and started counting her fingers. “Nearly seven weeks?”

Steve nodded.

“Nearly seven weeks,” he said with a sigh. They were both hoping the brains of the operation would have figured out a cure or a vaccine by now. She knew they were close, but it was so hard to figure out something when you had to be so careful of working around others. “But you shouldn’t feel bad, Darcy. I mean, I feel guilty that I am not being affected the way everyone else is, but I’m still alone a lot. And I am grateful to be around you so much. I have to quarantine for everyone else’s sake in case I can carry the virus,” he shrugged. “It’s a tough situation and it’s been hard on all of us. But that doesn’t make your feelings any less valid.”

“You’re very emotionally intelligent for someone who is like… mentally around thirty,” Darcy smiled softly and Steve huffed a laugh.

“Thanks, I think. I just spent a lot of my young adult life being left out of things and having to deal with them on my own, with only Bucky,” he sighed. “You have to learn to deal with the emotional and mental side of things when physically you’re like… Five foot two and a hundred pounds soaking wet.”

Darcy let out a little laugh.

“Not relatable, dude. I mean yeah, I’m five foot three. So pretty close. But I haven’t been under a hundred pounds since middle school,” she gestured vaguely at her chest. “When I got the girls, it added like five pounds minimum,” she shook her head good naturedly and Steve chuckled.

“I couldn’t even imagine being a woman in this day and age,” he sighed.

“I couldn’t imagine being a tiny ball of rage and righteousness in the thirties and forties,” Darcy countered and they shared a laugh.

Darcy had been counting. It was July when it all started. It would be September 20th on the morrow. But Tony had texted in the group. Some students at Oxford had come up with a vaccine and were working on it with a group of American doctors and scientists.

Darcy got vaccinated in November and was back at the tower (without a mask) by December.

“Jane!” Darcy squealed when she saw her tiny boss tinkering with a machine.

“Darcy!” Unlike previous encounters where Jane would ignore her for a machine, the scientist ran over to Darcy and they embraced each other.

“Can I get in on this group hug?” Clint climbed with supreme agility from the overhead air vent.

“Naturally, you jack-booted thug,” Jane said with misty eyes and a wavering voice. The two women were suddenly enclosed in a big circle of biceps.

“I have notified Sir of the group hug. The others will be here shortly,” JARVIS spoke and Darcy giggled, happy to see all of her friends again. Soon Tony, Nat, Bruce, and Thor were all joining in. Steve walked in on it and Darcy had an idea.

“Have y’all ever heard of a cinnamon roll hug?” She broke away from the group to grab Steve’s hand and pull him towards the commotion.

“Never.”

“Nope.”

“Sounds interesting.”

She nodded at the responses. She could make it work.

“We did it in college for team bonding. Everyone hold hands and stand in a straight line,” they did as instructed, and Darcy smirked. Thor would love this.

“Thor, start rolling in. Like a cinnamon roll,” Darcy instructed and Thor rolled into Jane, hands still holding. “Now Jane, follow. And everyone roll into it,” soon they were a big circle of hands and torsos and giggles. “Now let go of your hands,” she waited a moment before giving the final instruction. “Now, hug!” They were a mess of giggles by the end of it, but with Thor at the center smiling like a dork and everyone else shaking their heads and smiling, it was worth it.

“I don’t know how you come up with this stuff,” Steve commented once it was just he and Darcy. Jane had run off to get a piece of equipment.

“I learned a lot in college, just not about anything important,” she laughed and Steve smiled down at her warmly.

“Darcy?” He asked, leaning against the doorway.

“Mmhm?” She hummed, making her way towards him.

“Now that we’re out of isolation…” He trailed off as she came to stand closer than arm’s length away from him. “Would you want to get dinner with me?” He gave her that shy half-smile and she couldn’t help but beam up at him.

“I would love nothing more.”

[sunmoonandeddie]

rosemary’s corner

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 2,788

summary: There’s something up with Bucky.

warnings: Some h*ckin’ words.

a/n:  This is dedicated to @johnnynunzio.  I love you so, so much and I’m so proud of you.

There was something up with Bucky.

And Sam could call him paranoid all he wanted, but at the end of the day, Steve Rogers knew his best friend—goddamnit—and he knew something was going on.

Bucky had gotten into the habit of disappearing for hours on end—sometimes entire nights—without warning, only to reappear and act as though he had been in the Tower the whole time.  And even though he wasn’t big on hanging out with the rest of the team before, it had gotten even worse over the past few months.  Hell, when he was with the team, he spent the entire time staring at his phone.

Steve’s brows furrowed as he stepped out of the elevator.  He’d spent the past four hours down in the gym, desperately trying to figure out what the hell was going on with his best friend.

But if he couldn’t figure it out, maybe FRIDAY could.

“Hey, Fri?” He called out as he shut his bedroom door.

“Yes, Captain Rogers?”

The heat of the water turns his skin pink as he scrubs at his hair.  “Do you know where Bucky’s been going?”

“Yes, Captain Rogers.”

When the A.I. doesn’t continue, he frowns up at the ceiling as though she was up there.  “... Can you tell me where he is?”

The A.I. sounded almost sorry as she said, “I’m sorry, Captain Rogers, but Sergeant Barnes asked me to not tell anyone his whereabouts.”

“Even me?”

“Yes, even you.”

And okay, yeah, that kind of really fucking hurts.  It hurts that Bucky is keeping something from him because in their hundred years or so of being alive, they’d never kept secrets from each other.  Shit, Bucky had even told Steve when he first got his hands up a dame’s skirt way back in ‘34.

They told each other everything.

“Alright,” the blond said as he shut off the water.  “Guess it’s time for Plan C.”

Plan C, as it turns out, requires a little more time.  It means waiting until Bucky gets back to the Tower and then waiting for him to leave again.

But apparently that’s even harder than he thought it would be since trying to catch the former Winter Soldier leaving is like trying to catch a ghost.

It took him almost two weeks to finally catch him.  It was a little after nine, and the rest of the team had retreated to their respective bedrooms for the night.

Steve, however, spent almost half an hour by his door, ear pressed to the wood and listening for the tell tale sound of Bucky’s door opening from across the hall.

When he finally heard the creak at precisely 9:42 PM, he makes sure to wait a few minutes before following him out.  He took the stairs, bolting down each flight.  He had to wait several long minutes for the elevator to catch up, watching as Bucky zipped up his jacket before heading out into the cool autumn air.

Not for the first time, he cursed his best friend’s ability to sneak through the streets of New York almost undetected.  Plan A had been Bucky just telling his best friend where he was going as he should’ve done as his goddamn best friend, and if that had happened like Steve had hoped, he wouldn’t be traversing down tenth, after having to follow him through several subway rides.

He’s even more confused when he started to spot the NYU signs littering the area.

He stopped in his tracks as Bucky stepped into a familiar looking store, a string of lights glittering brightly in the window display despite the late hour.

He vaguely remembered walking past the shop with him a few weeks before, but when he’d told Bucky that they should stop in sometime, he’d immediately clammed up and shrugged, claiming that it was probably too hipstery for either of their tastes.

Which, to be fair, it was really close to the New York University campus.

Steve got a little closer, just enough to peek in through the window that had ‘Rosemary’s Corner’ emblazoned across it.

The store was the perfect picture of cozy, though it did have that hipster feel that both him and Bucky tried to avoid.  Shelves full of records lined the front end of the shop, lights hung up along the tops of each one.  He could just barely see what seemed to be a coffee station towards the back, a menu with titles such as ‘Pumpkin Spice Marshmallow Latte’ and ‘Blueberry Delight Cappuccino’ hung up on the wall behind it.  A vintage record player in the corner was crooning out the familiar voice of Billie Holiday, just barely audible outside the shop.

And there in the back, amidst the waist high shelves, was his best friend.  Steve’s eyes widened as he watched him grab a record from a cart next to him, handing it to a girl who seemed to be the only employee present.  There was a flush in his cheeks, a shy smile tugging at his lips, that the blond hadn’t seen since the forties.

The girl seemed to be just as enamoured as him as she placed the record amongst the stacks.  Her movements were slow, unhurried, as she took each record that Bucky offered her.  She seemed so content to just be in his presence.

Bucky’s mouth moved silently and he lit up like a Christmas tree as he watched the girl erupt into giggles.  Her teeth caught her lower lip as she moved to shelve yet another record, but she froze as the man’s flesh hand reached up to gently tug it, releasing it.  The two of them were stuck in place, too lost in each other to think about the task at hand.

And despite the fact that anyone could walk past at any moment and see them through the window, Steve felt like he was intruding on something… private.  The intimacy between the two so apparent that it sent a blush to his cheeks to have seen it.  Just before he turned to leave, he saw Bucky rub the back of his neck in embarrassment, the both of them attempting to pretend that they didn’t just have a moment.

He went back the next day, when he knew that Bucky would be stuck at the Tower for at least a few more hours.  He wanted to be able to talk to her in private, to maybe ask her intentions.

And yeah, it was really shady for him to go behind Bucky’s back, but he wasn’t about to just let some girl walk in and fuck with his emotions if she didn’t intend on staying.

So he made the trek up to tenth once again, though it went a lot faster now that he knew where he was going and he didn’t have to hide.

Rosemary’s Corner looked almost the exact same during daylight, though Steve wasn’t sure why he was expecting any different.  The only difference is that there’s a few more patrons than just Bucky during the day all spread out through the shop.

The girl’s sitting at the cash register towards the back, flipping through a book.  She looked up as the bells above the door chimed with his entrance, an easy smile gracing her features.  His eyes are drawn to her shirt, recognizing it as the flannel that Bucky had been wearing the night before over his t-shirt.  The sleeves were rolled in order to accommodate her—she wasn’t exactly the size of the super soldier—but she looked so cozy it was hard to imagine her ever wishing him harm.  “Hi!  Welcome to Rosemary’s!”

He tried to pretend as though he’s not there to interrogate her, perusing through the stacks in what he hopes is a casual and aimless manner.

“Hi.”

Steve jumped, whirling around to stare at the girl.  “Hey.”  The super soldier was more than a little surprised that she was able to sneak up at him—he had espionage training from Natasha fucking Romanoff.  But even so, she’d somehow managed to approach him without making the slightest noise.

“You’re James’s friend, Steve,” she said, holding out her hand for him to shake as she gave him her name.

He eyed her hand warily.  “How do you know me?”

Her eyebrows rose as she stared at him, reminding him a little too much of how a certain redhead would look at him when he was being particularly stupid.  “It takes more than a baseball hat to fool me, Captain.”

Swallowing, he crossed his arms over his chest, going into full Captain mode.  “Then I’m sure you know why I’m here.”

But she simply breezed past him, heading for a cart at the end of the aisle with a sign on it that read Don’t want it?  Leave it here!  Thanks!

He stood there in his spot for what seemed like ages, staring after her.  Did she really just disregard him?  He was Captain fucking America.  No one had disregarded him like that since he was in the USO shows.

“You know, I used to come here everyday when I was a student,” she said, pushing up the sleeves of the flannel to her elbows, before nudging the cart towards the first row of stacks.  “Back then, it was owned by Albert Cook.  He opened it for his wife back in ‘97 because his wife, Rosemary, missed records.  Everyone was using CDs at that point, and it just wasn’t the same.  They added the coffee shop in ‘02.”

Steve followed her like a puppy as she reshelved the records.  He wasn’t sure where she was going with all of this, but she’d made it clear that she wasn’t going to put up with him pushing her around.

“They hired me here my freshman year, but I was here even when I wasn’t working.  It’s my favorite place in the entire world, and Albert and Rosemary became my home away from home.  It’s not easy moving so far from home for college, but they helped me.  A lot.  Two years after I graduated, it became mine.”  She paused, staring at the Cher record in her hand.  Her eyes glimmered with unshed tears and Steve could feel the sorrow rolling off of her in waves.  “Albert passed and in his will…  I told Rosemary that I wasn’t going to take the shop from her, that she could have it, but she insisted I take it.  Apparently her and Albert had decided to put me in his will ages before he died…”  Her eyes crinkled up as she laughed, “I thought their kids were going to shit themselves.  They were so mad.”  She shrugged as she finally put the Cher record in its place.  “Rosemary didn’t really understand why they were so mad about me getting the shop when they never came in.  But she moved upstate with her kids and I moved into the apartment upstairs.  I still see her every week for lunch.”

“Excuse my interruption,” Steve said when he finally sensed a pause.  “But why are you telling me all of this?”

She finally turned to him then, looking so open and honest that it took him aback.  “You’re here to question me about James, and I get that.  He’s been through a lot.”

“He’s told you?” He asked, blue eyes wide.  “About all the… HYDRA stuff?”  At her nod, he narrowed his eyes at her.  “But he never tells anyone about—”

“Well, he tells me,” she snapped, her hands going to her hips.  “I know about all the things he’s done and I don’t care.  He’s the best man I’ve ever met.”  The girl closed her eyes as she paused, taking in a deep breath.  When she opened her eyes, the storm in her eyes had settled.  “I need you to know that I love James.  I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt him.  And while I can appreciate that he has a best friend like you—”

“You don’t like your loyalty being questioned,” Steve finished, much quieter.  He felt as though he’d been put in his place, which didn’t happen often.  “I…  I don’t either.  Not when it comes to Bucky.”

A sarcastic smile settled on her lips.  “We have that in common, Captain.”

The two of them went quiet as she went back to her task, occasionally having to go to the front to ring up a customer or make a cup of coffee.  At some point, Steve started helping her, handing her the records just as Bucky had been doing the night before.  Customers came and went, but as it got later, it got less and less populated.

“I changed the hours a few months after I got the shop,” she mused as she glanced over at the few college kids studying at one of the tables.  One of them had put on a Hozier album, the earthy songs sounding like they belonged on a record.  “It’s better for college students.  Gives them a place to study or just hang out late at night, and they can choose any album from the used record wall to play for free.”  Her nose scrunched as she smiled.  “And I’m not much of a morning person, so it gives me a reason to sleep in until noon.”

“Does he know you love him?” Steve asked suddenly, cheeks going a particular shade of pink.  “Bucky, I mean.”

“Yeah, I got that,” she said, nudging him.  But she was just as flushed as him.  “I hope so.  I haven’t exactly been subtle.  But I might have to make a move soon if he doesn’t.”

He cleared his throat, shoving his hands into his pockets.  “You should.  Make a move, that is.”

“He can be rather shy, can’t he?”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Both of them looked up, startled, to see the man of the hour standing there in the doorway.  Neither of them had heard the bells above the door as he entered.

“James,” she breathed, a fond smile painting her lips as she saw him.  “You’re early tonight.”

His ocean eyes softened just a tad as they flickered over to her, but hardened juts as quickly when he turned his attention back to the other man.  “What are you doing here?”

“I followed you last night,” he said, apology clear in his eyes.

“Why?”

Steve flinched at the harshness of his tone, but knowing that he more than deserved it.  “I was worried, Buck.  You weren’t telling me where you were going, and you disappeared for so long and I was just…  I was worried.”

“You don’t have to take care of me,” Bucky said as he moved to stand in between his girl and his best friend.  “I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.”

“I know that.”

“Then why—”

“James,” she said, cutting him off, “He’s here because he cares.  We both do.”  The man searched her eyes, his metal hand gently resting on her elbow.  “I’m okay.  Captain America can’t scare me.”

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, once again feeling like an intruder.  He’d never seen his best friend so taken with a girl, so... enraptured.  “Don’t worry.  Your girl put me in my place faster than I could blink.”

The brunet flushed, shaking his head.  “She’s not—”

“I think I should go,” he said, backing towards the door.  “I’ll leave you two alone.  But, Buck—”  He nodded towards the girl, who had slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow.  “Don’t be afraid to bring her around the Tower.  I’m sure everyone would love her.”

Bucky nodded once, his arm moving to wrap around the girl’s waist and bring her into his chest.  “I will.”

As Steve stepped out into the night air, he was shocked by how late it had gotten, by just how long he’d spent in the shop.  A breeze promising an early winter ruffled his hair and sent a chill through him.  As he wrapped his jacket tighter around him, he took one last look at the two through the window.

The girl was pressed up against him, eyes sparkling as she stared up at Bucky.  He could clearly read the words ‘I love you’ on her lips and the shock on his best friend’s face.  Without a second thought, she pressed her lips to his, her fingers tangling in his hair.  It took a few seconds for his brain to start working again, but when it did, his arms wrapped around her tightly, pulling her in for another kiss just as she started to pull away.

Steve headed for the subway, a smirk on his lips.  “You’re in good hands, jerk.”

[starrybbarnes]

brewing romance | [b.b]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: bucky sucks at flirting, and Steve is trying to give pointers on how to hang out with you. and idea brews, quite literally, and bucky takes the chance

Word Count: 3.1k+ (it’s long as hell)

Author’s note: this has been in a draft for so long. but inspiration struck, and i was able to finish it. this one story is inspired by the song love potion no 9, so you’ll see some allusions to it. of course, i hope you guys enjoy the story, and please leave any feedback ! 

Warnings: lots of hollering, steve making a fool of himself, sam making a fool of himself. you’ll see. 

“Man, you gotta stop staring, your drool is gonna ruin the table!”

“Your face is ruining the table.”

“Just ask the girl already, Buck, you aren’t helping anyone here.”

Steve had a point. Ever since you joined the team, Bucky was left in awe. By your looks, your generosity, your compassion. He was absolutely in love with you. 

But Bucky has made several attempts to capture your attention. And every time he does, he either freezes or there’s an externality that throws him off. 

Whether it be untied shoelaces, a criminal on the loose, or Peter begging you to be his karaoke buddy, something was always in Bucky’s way. 

And if he did get a chance to capture your attention, he would always freeze. Everyone thought T’Challa was bad when it came to freezing up, but Bucky easily beats him 3 times over. 

“I can’t, Steve,” Bucky sighed, setting his mug on the kitchen island, “I just don’t have that charm anymore.” 

“What are you talking about, you always find a way to charm those waitresses or receptionists whenever we go out,” Steve interjected. 

“Yeah, well, that’s because I don’t know them,” Bucky explained, “I don’t really put myself on the line with those dames.” 

Steve hummed in response. He wanted to help out his buddy, and he knows how much Bucky cares for you. 

“I know this might sound crazy man, but I think you should get a potion to make you suaver,” Steve suggested. 

“What are you even talking about,” Bucky responded.

“You know, those love potions like in the old days!” Steve explained, “we’ll just grab a recipe from online and brew something up.”

“This is probably one of the dumbest ideas you’ve ever concocted,” Bucky jokes, earning a snort from Steve, “but I’m open to the idea.”

“You guys really have no perception of potions, do you?” 

Suddenly, Wanda walked into the kitchen, eyebrows raised and with a slightly amused look. 

“And what would you know about love, Wanda?” Steve inquired.

“... you do realize who you’re talking to.” Wanda said with certainty, “I may not know about love, but I do know someone who can manifest charm.” 

Steve and Bucky looked at each other, and then back at Wanda. It is an offer that no one can give up, and if it happens to be true, then the Winter Soldier might be in luck. 

“Who is this ‘person of manifestation,’ and how can we trust them?” Bucky asked with concern.

“Lucky for you, this ‘person’ happens to be my great cousin, Phoebe!” Wanda exclaimed, “she’s an absolute whiz at this stuff.”

Bucky sighed, “I don’t know, Wanda, is it really the real deal?” 

“Trust me, Buck, she has the experience and is trusted by all her clients,” Wanda reassured.

“Where is it located anyway?” Steve chimed in, “do we have to go halfway around the world to book an appointment with her?

Wanda chuckled, “Nope, but we do have to go to Lower Manhattan.”

。。

The trio stood in front of a brick building with grey columns as a facade, and it looked quaint. Bucky was at an unease at the building’s exterior, a sign with The Cauldron in bold black letters being the only things decorating the outside.

“I think this is a mistake,” Bucky spoke up as he turned on his heel to get back into the car.

“Oh no you don’t,” Wanda replied, grabbing Bucky by the forearm and dragging him to the entrance.

“You sure we’re at the right place, Wanda”  Steve asked, “‘cause this place is lookin’ real suspicious if you asked me.”

“Relax, boys,” Wanda announced, “we’re in good hands.”

The door opened to a little bell chiming against the handle. From ceiling to floor, the place was filled with plants, books, and bottles coming in every color imaginable. 

In the center, there was an island table, with a sink and a couple of books splayed open. A soft scent of rose and jasmine permeated the building. A cat and a dog were napping besides in the far right corner, without a care in the world.

Bucky began getting cold feet at the thought of the potion. Would this really help win over your heart? Would he change at all if he went on with it? And more importantly, would Sam keep giving him shit for having a crush on you?

As more thoughts began to flood Bucky’s mind, a bright and chipper voice greeted the trio. A young woman, no taller than 5’5”, came out from the back, wearing some plaid pants and a denim jacket. The simplest outfit a witch could wear. 

From the look of Bucky’s face, Phoebe could tell he seemed confused. “Not your typical witch, eh?” 

“Those storybooks tell me otherwise,” Bucky jokes, earning laughs from everyone. He then introduced himself to Phoebe, who only would reciprocate in charm.

The trio sat on the big table, with Phoebe center stage. She brought out a handful of beakers and flasks and placed them on the table.

“So, how can I be of service?” 

“Well... “ Steve started, “a good old friend can’t seem to charm the ladies...” 

“Oh brother...” Wanda sighed. 

Phoebe tried suppressing a smile, “ah, someone’s got cold feet, I see?”

Bucky could not be more embarrassed. It’s hard to adjust when you’re a centurion. A centurion with a crush, more specifically. He had a huge crush on you and, well, he sucks at flirting. 

He explained his plight with Phoebe, and she intently listened. After assessing what Bucky said, Phoebe asked him to extend his palms out.

“What you need is love potion number nine,” Phoebe answered as she made magic signs against Bucky’s palms, “don’t worry, it’s very effective and not that hard to make.” 

Phoebe turned to face her cupboard and brought out a dark liquid and some herbs. As she opened the dark liquid, the room began to smell very strongly of floor cleaner, and Bucky looked terrified.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Bucky huffed, as Steve was dramatically coughing at the smell.

Phoebe grabs the liquid and pours some into the mini cauldron on the table. She then puts the rose, the rosemary, and some lemon into the vile concoction. Little spurts of gas rose from the cauldron, and Bucky swore he heard some cackling coming from it.

Phoebe once again waved her arms and made some hand motions, and a flash blinded the team momentarily. The gas subsided, and Phoebe took out a ladle from her drawers.

She pours the dark liquid into a small clear glass, and by the looks of it, it’s as dark as the night sky. She hands Bucky the glass, and tells him to quickly drink it. 

Bucky stares down the glass for what seemed like an eternity. “This stuff can wear off, right?”

Phoebe reassured him that he’ll be alright, “should anything go awry, I’m just a phone call away.” 

The concoction was taunting him, some grime started floating to the top of the glass, and almost started making a face at him. For love, you’ll do anything, Bucky thought to himself… right?

Steve sensed his friend’s concern, and offered to take a sip with him. Phoebe served him up a glass as well, and the boys looked at each other.

“How ‘bout it, Buck?” Steve encouraged, “To romance!”

Bucky sighed as he brought his glass up to Steve’s, “one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and here we go…” 

The two boys drank the elixir, and Wanda looked on with nervousness. Phoebe seemed like she was having a good time, and congratulated the boys for tag-teaming it. She offered them water to get rid of the aftertaste, and Bucky could not be more grateful.

“Now, for some, it’ll start working in about twenty minutes,” Phoebe started as she started putting the leftovers, save for one small bottle for the guys to take home. “Don’t freak out if it doesn’t start working right away, you’ll know when it’ll start.”

“If you guys really want a speedier reaction time, I’m giving you two extra doses: one for each other. But take heed: it’ll really hit with just once. Wands, I suggest just takin’ ‘em home right now, just to avoid any trouble.”

Wanda nodded approvingly, “boys: let’s go. Who knows what's in store.”

As the trio gets up to leave, Bucky is frantically trying to pull out his wallet, dumping out any cash that he has on hand. He has about 32 dollars and a punch card for his favorite burger place.

“There’s no need for that Buck,” Phoebe argued, giving his money back, “A friend of my cousin is always welcomed here! If you insist, put it in that jar over there where I collect tips for charities.”

Bucky smiled as the trio walked away, “Thanks, Phoebe! We’ll update you if anything happens.”

Phoebe waved back, “if you happen to get married to this young lady, please invite me to the wedding! I’ll take any credit where it’s due.”

And with that, Bucky and Steve roared with laughter as Wanda closed the door behind them.

。。

The trip back to the tower was uneventful, as the only thing Bucky did was to stop and admire a candy shop that was by the tower. Other than that, no effects so far. 

The elevator opened to reveal the next of the team lounging around. Some were eating, others were chatting. Bucky’s eyes trailed over to you, where you were seated on the living room floor, writing stuff down on a notebook on the coffee table.

Before Bucky could walk towards you, Steve called out for Natasha. Natasha responds, asking what’s up. 

“I don’t know, just wanted to say you look nice today,” Steve said nonchalantly, then added, “by the way, great job on today’s presentation. Very solid work.”

“Alright old man, cough it up,” Nat countered, “what are you scheming this time around?”

Steve puts his arms up in defense, “I just want to compliment my friends on all their hard work that they’ve been doing. In fact, I’m going to go around the room and personally compliment everyone.” 

Bucky watches the scene unfold: one by one, Steve walks up to every Avenger and gives them two compliments, whether it be on looks or anything Steve deems “honorable.” When Steve walks up to you he exclaims: “Oh, y/n! What a wonderful young woman. You are so smart and intelligent, you’re gonna far, that I know of.”

You couldn’t stop laughing at this newfound side of Steve. He must’ve gotten back from a date, because it has been a while since he’s been this giddy. Everyone’s confused at what’s happening, but are appreciative of Steve’s kind words.

Once again, you and Bucky lock eyes and you start smiling. Bucky gave himself a little pep talk before he cooly walked towards you. Bucky leaves the little bottle of the love potion on the kitchen island and then proceeds to walk. 

You scooted over to make room for Bucky on the floor, and he brushed his hand against yours while he got himself situated. Intentional or not, but it did make your cheeks flare-up. 

“So what brings you over here?” you asked, as you continued to work on your notebook.

“Nothing really,” Bucky replied with all honesty, “I just wanted to see you working, it’s soothing, if I’m being frank.”

Bucky flashed a small smile and you reciprocated. “It’s nothing too crazy, Buck. But I’m glad you enjoy my company. In fact, I too also enjoy your company. How about that?

Bucky was really happy at how things were going between the two of you, that he outwardly forgot about the potion he drank. He didn’t feel any change, except for the fact that he wanted to hang out with you.  He just feels… a little bit more confident. 

An hour had passed, and in that time you and Bucky had resorted to playing tic-tac-toe, hangman, and even teach Bucky some calligraphy. This couldn’t be classified as a date, but Bucky is enjoying the moment anyway. You and Bucky had decided to move to the kitchen island, where you had made him a cup of tea. 

Then, in comes Sam bursting into the large room, with Steve slowly tagging behind. They must’ve gone to play basketball outside, as they were heaving and glistening with sweat. Sam was creating a loud ruckus, talking about how Steve cheated, and there should be a rematch.

Bucky started to zone out Sam’s blabbering and gave his attention to you. Right now, you were trying to draw Bucky, to no avail. It looked like a chunky stick figure with outlandish hair. Bucky complimented you on how the sketch should go to the Met, earning a laugh from you.

Suddenly, Sam eyes the glass bottle on the island. “Oh sweet! Beet juice: a nice refresher after working out.”

Bucky hummed in response, eyes glued on the paper that you had. It wasn’t until Sam made a loud aahh sound, and then proceeded to say, “that juice must've expired, ‘cause it smelled like floor cleaner.”

Steve and Bucky whipped their heads to each other, eyes wide in surprise. Oh no, Sam drank the concoction. You saw the look of concern on both the super-soldiers’ faces, and you’re trying to think of any possible outcome. 

Steve scrambles to Wanda, and tells her what happens. She shoots up from her seat and goes over to where you and Bucky are seated. She orders Steve to keep an eye on Sam while dialing Phoebe. 

“Is everything okay, Buck?” you asked with such innocence. You really don’t know what’s going on, and a part of you doesn’t want to know.

Bucky reassures you that everything is going to be okay… probably. Truthfully, he didn’t know, but he didn’t want to frighten you.

Steve comes running back into the kitchen and pants out, “it’s bad… he’s talking to all the ladies… couldn’t catch up… but Thor is after him…” 

Wanda yelled at Steve for leaving behind Sam, and then her attention went to the phone. It was Phoebe, and she was on speakerphone:

Wanda, you didn’t tell me that I was dealing with super-soldiers! I gave them both regular-sized doses, and that’s why they didn’t feel anything…. And you’re telling me Sam chugged the bottle?! Jesus, what are we gonna do. I’m on my way! I’m gonna be using magic to get there, so don’t get alarmed. And whatever you do: don’t leave Sam out of sight.

As Wanda and Phoebe kept raising their voices at each other through the phone, your head was spinning as to why there was mention of doses and potions. You turned to Bucky, who still looked mortified at the situation at hand. 

“Mind telling me what’s all the hubbub, James?” you proposed. 

“It was Steve’s idea!” Bucky retorted. It was time to come clean, and start the healing process, stat. “Steve told me I should do something about my crush on you. But I was too scared to initiate anything because you’re so pretty and amazing… And then Wanda’s cousin Phoebe gave us a love potion but it didn’t work on us. It did make Steve super complimentary to everyone, and I just got super nervous,  but that’s it. But it did work on Sam.”

You blinked at what Bucky just said. It was… a lot. You didn’t know where to start when it came to this newfound news. Then you started to laugh.

“Oh, James,” you sighed, earning another blush from Bucky, “I’m glad you tried to take some type of initiative to talk to me, but I didn’t know you had a little pick-me-up. But since you said it didn’t work on you and hardly on Steve… then how did you muster up the courage to talk to me?”

You got Bucky there. He was stumped, and started pondering. “I guess by my own accord? If a potion wasn’t gonna work, then I guess it was time for me to make a move. Hopefully, it worked?”

Your smile towards Bucky says it all. You nodded and then went up to his cheek and planted a kiss. “Next time, just strike up a conversation, Buck. I mean, look at what we accomplished today.”

Bucky nodded in agreement, and as soon as he was going to go in for another kiss, Wanda burst in.

“You gotta come check this out, quick!” 

Sure enough, you and Bucky raced to the lobby, and basked in the sight in front of them. 

There was Sam, chatting up every girl he sees. He was kissing everything in sight and was endlessly flirting. Sam made eye contact with you and quickly ran up to you and planted the wettest kiss you’ve had in a very long time. “When you’re no longer busy with Tin Man tonight, give me a call, sugar.”

You couldn’t stop cracking up at Sam’s antics. The whole team was stunned at what Sam was doing, all while Phoebe was trying to cast a spell to stop the chaos. Phoebe was fast, but Sam drunk on a love potion was much, much faster.

“Guess I saved myself on that one, eh Doll,” Bucky offered, earning a snicker out of you.

“You may be right, but I would’ve given you a big wet kiss if you asked,” you responded while cackling. Bucky joined in the laughter, happy that he was still able to have that spark with his girl, potion or not. 

As you leaned closer to Bucky, you saw Sam run up to a cop outside the building and saw him give him a full kiss on the lips. The cop got enraged and called his other buddy and started handcuffing Sam. At that moment, Phoebe used a spell to wear off the potion, and sure enough, Sam slowly started to calm down.

At his new state, Sam’s eyes widen. “Steve! Barnes! What the hell did you do to me! What the fuck was in that beet juice!”

Bucky cackled, “oh you know, a love potion. Nothing too crazy.”

Sam started shouting obscenities at the boys, while he was being escorted back up the tower, presumably now under house arrest.

“When I get outta house arrest, I’m  gonna put that potion where your mouth is!” 

“Have fun with that, lover boy!” Bucky called out, as you couldn’t control your laughter. “Now, where were we?”

“Staring into each other’s eyes, I assume,” you answered, as Bucky grabbed a hold of your hand.

Bucky smiled at your response, “that sounds like a wonderful activity to resume, y/n. Ah, but don’t worry, there is no potion in my system anymore.”

“I hope so,” you warned, “otherwise you’re gonna get an earful again.”

You and Bucky shared a laugh, the first of many while observing Sam’s chaotic energy.

[doyouever-daydream]

V-Day Babysitting Duty

A/N Hello all! Here I am with another imagine about Spencer Reid and SSA (y/n), forgot to mention before that this will probably catalogued as slow burn lol, this can be read as a one instalment or you can go and read this if you want to know more about (y/n). I’ve had this idea in my head for two weeks and I’ve been trying to write it down but then my mind went blank and tonight from having one page, I ended up with almost six. This song also helped with the inspo. GIF is not mine, I found it on pinterest and I’ve tried to find the source but failed to do so :( 

 ALSO this is another entry for my Criminal Minds bingo card the square is holidays and my plan is to write a series of oneshots so this is the first one.

@cmbingo​

Enjoy! And if you want to read more of my nonsense here it is lol

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Warnings: Fluff, fluff, fluff.

Word count: 3056 (oof)

It was Friday morning and the bullpen was busy, people seemed to have more energy than usual, maybe they were eager to finish their tasks and go home to their loved ones so they could celebrate Valentine’s day. 

Luckily for the BAU team, they had no active case which meant they were only consulting, they were all looking forward to the weekend, hoping to enjoy the calm before the storm, it was only a matter of time before they had to travel somewhere.

“So what are your plans for tonight?” Luke asked excitedly, wanting to hear about his friends’ plans and to tell them his.

“I have a date, we’re having dinner, then we’re going to a classic cars exhibition” Tara replied while she closed her casefile and turned to see her coworkers.

“Sounds dope” Luke told her also forgetting his current case.

“Is this a first date?” (y/n) looked at her with narrowed eyes while she bit her pen.

“No, actually, this is the, uh, like 8th date” Tara shrugged her shoulders.

“And why didn’t you share it with the class, Tara?” Matt smirked.

“Well I don’t know, but it is actually going really well”

“What is?” JJ was walking by and decided this conversation sounded way more interesting than the pile of cases waiting in her office.

“Why am I the only one talking? (y/n), what are you doing tonight?”

“Well, funny that you ask, this Friday I am spending my Valentine’s day like I did pretty much every V-day during my highschool years” She laughed while everyone looked confused.

“She’s babysitting the kids so Kristy and I can have dinner and some alone time, she might be my favorite teammate” Matt interfered.

“Damn right I am and if there is a sixth baby after tonight, I have godmother rights” (y/n) joked while everyone laughed.

“Ha! I don’t think so but you have auntie rights with all five” 

“We have great friends, Matt, Spence offered to babysit Henry and Michael tonight” JJ looked at Matt while raising her eyebrows. 

“Oh, well, why don’t they come over to the house tonight? Maybe they can have a sleepover, the kids would love that, would that be ok, (y/n)?” Matt carefully asked, desperately hoping she’d say yes.

“Yeah, totally” (y/n) thought that having an extra pair of hands with the Simmons clan would be helpful besides she adored JJ’s little boys.

“I’m gonna tell Spence then”

JJ smiled widely as she immediately went off to find Spencer to tell him the good news. Matt, Tara and (y/n) went back to their files while Luke sat there, amused by the way JJ and Matt were trying to set Spencer and (y/n) up. His face fell when he noticed the others thought the conversation was done and he hadn’t told them his plans.

“I’m taking Penelope to dinner, then I’m gonna surprise her with tickets for an art exhibit she’s been dying to go” Luke spoke up while everyone looked back at him with wide eyes.

“You what!?” Penelope almost screamed while walking up to Luke, the closer her high heels sounded, the more Luke sank into his seat “You got us tickets for tonight!? Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it” She shrieked with joy wanting to kiss him right there but she didn’t want any HR seminars on proper behaving so she stopped herself from doing so.

“Luke’s getting really lucky tonight” (y/n) smirked while Tara and Matt started laughing.

“Atta boy!” Tara said still laughing.

“I better hurry up then” Luke flashed Penelope a smile, the blonde woman just winked at him and continued her way to find Anderson.

The rest of the day went by fair quickly, everyone was anxious to start their weekends and forget about work duties for a few, (y/n) hadn’t seen Spencer much during the day but she figured JJ had already told him as she promised.

She entered the elevator and as the doors were closing, Spencer barely made it into the elevator with her.

“Are you in a hurry to see someone, doctor?” (y/n) held back a smirk while Spencer recovered his breath.

“No, it’s just I really need to take these books back to the library before it closes” He awkwardly smiled while holding up the books to her.

“Oh, I thought you had a date or something” (y/n) was curious as to if he had other plans before going to JJ’s house. 

“No, uhm, actually JJ told me, the boys and I were invited to join all of you at Matt’s house” His free hand played nervously with the strap of his bag.

“Yup, I believe you’re stuck with me on Valentine’s day, doc” She nudged him on the elbow.

“It’s ok, I- I think all nine of us will have a great time” He flashed her a shy smile.

(y/n)’s stomach did a flip, she was nervous, happy and excited about spending time with Spencer. The last few weeks she had noticed something had changed in her, suddenly the presence of Spence made her heart feel warm and fuzzy. 

The doorbell rang and (y/n) picked up Rose from the playmat to go and greet their visits. When she opened the door Henry and Michael were already in their pajamas and jumping with excitement ready to go and play with their cousins.

“Hi auntie (y/n)!” Michael hugged her legs and (y/n) affectionately 

“Hi sweetie, happy Valentine’s day! We’ve been waiting for you, come on in!” (y/n) moved to the side so the three of them could enter the house.

“Henry! Michael!” David ran to greet his cousins and was followed by the rest of his siblings.

Spencer’s face made (y/n) laugh, he certainly looked a little worried.

“We’re gonna be fine, it’ll be only a couple hours” (y/n) said while patting his shoulder with her free arm.

“Seven children, I don’t think I ever been with this many children alone” Spencer looked at her while she bounced little Rose in her hip.

“You’re not alone though, I am an expert at babysitting besides they are really sweet, I don’t think they’ll give us trouble” As if on cue Rose shrieked in an adorable way getting both of their attention. “See? Rose agrees with me” (y/n) smiled widely at the baby.

“Ah, Rose! Since when you’ve gotten so big?” Spencer cooed to Rose, who was getting excited for getting more attention, she reached her little arms to him.

“Ok, off you go with uncle Spence” (y/n) passed her to him and he happily took her in his arms.

Spencer had gotten way better with kids thanks to Henry and Michael, then when Matt had joined the team, he had not only gained a team mate but nephews and nieces. He adored all of them.

“Ok, so what do you want to do?” (y/n) said when they were all in the living room, Rose was still in Spencer’s arms trying to pull his hair.

“There’s a Lego set David and I, have been wanting to build, do you want to help us out?” Jake turned to Henry.

“Yeah, that’d be cool” Henry eagerly replied.

“It’s on our room, let’s get it and we can build it here” The three of them ran upstairs leaven the little ones looking at their uncle and auntie with expecting eyes.

“Guys! Do you wanna make Valentine’s cards?” I brought a lot of stuff we can use to make them” (y/n) suggested, she loved doing crafts with kids, something she had gotten from her mom being a kindergarten teacher.

“YES!” Chloe, Lily and Michael started to jump with excitement, they, too, loved making crafts.

“Let me grab the stuff from my bag and set it all on the table, wait here” She turned on the TV so they could watch something and Spencer was sitting in the living room, still playing with Rose.

“Spence, can you come over here for a sec?” (y/n) called for him from the kitchen while looking to the pizza place menu Kristy had told her to call.

“What’s up?” The moment Spence took his eyes off Rose, the little one took her chance and went to grab his uncle’s hair, pulling it hard, both Rose and (y/n) started laughing.

“That’s why I put my hair out of her reach” She pointed to her headband that had any strands of hair away from her face.

“Yeah, I’m gonna take that into consideration” Spencer smiled at the baby who was still amused in her arms.

“Kristy told me to order pizza for dinner, I’m ordering pepperoni for the kiddos, I texted JJ and she said it was fine, but I’m not sure what would you like?” She was already dialing on her phone.

“Whatever you order it’s fine” She looked at him warily “Seriously, anything is fine”

“Ok, go and see if the kids got the Lego set they were talking about, please”

“Ok” He smiled and turned to go back, he felt so content of being there with her and the kids, he didn’t care much for Valentine’s day but this one was his favorite, without a doubt.

When Rose started to get fuzzy and wanting to go down, he put her in the playmat where she happily took her toys and started babbling, forgetting about the people around her. So Spencer decided to see if David, Jake and Henry wanted some help.

(y/n) was sitting with Chloe, Lily and Michael while they did their cards.

“So you already know who you want to make a Valentine’s card for?” (y/n) asked while giving them paper sheets folded in half.

“My mommy!” Michael was already grabbing crayons and drawing something.

“I’m not sure yet” Lily had a hand under her chin, squinting her eyes trying to figure out who she wanted to give a Valentine’s card to.

“I’m gonna make you one, auntie!” Chloe started to grab stickers and putting them on the paper.

“That’s so nice of you, if any of you need help with something, you tell me, ok?” (y/n) was excited to see them unleash their creativity.

“You’re not gonna make one?” Chloe asked with a surprised expression.

“You know what, I am” (y/n) winked to the little girl and Chloe giggled.

“Make one for uncle Spence!” Lily suggested with the biggest grin on her face.

(y/n) didn’t answer and just smiled, the whole world seemed to suggest that something else should happen between them but she just wasn’t sure that would turn into a reality. She didn’t think it was possible for Spencer to see her like that. Nor she was sure she wanted to be in a relationship with her teammate and friend. It worked out fine for Penelope and Luke but in their case Penelope rarely traveled with them for cases, they didn’t see each other as much as Spencer and her did, that sounded like too much trouble. 

She had once dated a coworker, back when she worked at the NIJ and it got messy, the whole experience had ended in bad terms and it made work awfully uncomfortable afterwards, she didn’t want that to happen with Spencer. She knew she had a crush on him, but that was everything it was, a crush, she was more interested in keeping him as a friend.

Half an hour later, the doorbell rang and (y/n) went to get their dinner. The younger ones had already finished their cards and even had helped (y/n) with hers by making a draw of their uncle Spencer. They were currently helping clean everything, so they could sit and have dinner.

After having dinner, the Simmons kids went to change into their PJ’s, and (y/n) went to change Rose and put her to bed while Spence offered to do the dishes.

“Auntie (y/n), mom and dad said since it’s not a school night and this is a sleepover we could stay past our bedtime for an hour” David said with pleading eyes.

“Our mom said the same” Henry chimed in.

“I know, I know, both of your parents informed uncle Spence and me about that, what do you wanna do?” 

The five of them went quiet but one could see their brains trying to think what to do in that valuable hour.

“We could watch a movie” Henry suggested.

“Yeah, something we all wanna watch” Jake added ruffling Lily’s hair.

“Ok, sounds like a good idea, but I had another suggestion, I thought why don’t you build a fort? You can sleep in there too” (y/n) had this plan since she knew she was babysitting for them, she had already asked Kristy and Matt where they kept blankets and sleeping bags.

All of their faces lit up with happiness as the nodded furiously.

“Could you go grab the blankets? They’re already down here, outside the hall’s closet” The didn’t think twice and ran off to get them.

Spencer watched the whole scene from the kitchen door, seeing (y/n) with kids made him wonder if she had ever considered having them. She was a natural with them, every time the whole team had a get together, at some point she would leave the adults to go and be with them, she would talk to them or play with them, helping the younger ones to the swings. And even in cases where they had to interview kids for some reason she was incredible with them.

(y/n) saw him lost in his thoughts and decided to interrupt him for a moment.

“I was coming to help you with the dishes”

“I’m already done, I was going to take the trash out” He lifted the bag he was holding “I wouldn’t have thought about making a fort, sounds like fun” 

“You see, I’m not a regular aunt, I’m a cool aunt” She joked knowing he probably wouldn’t get the reference but she still laughed at her own joke.

All of them spent more than an hour playing on the floor, the kids changed their minds about the way they wanted the fort, the eight of them laughed, joked and had a blast. That was until the tiredness from the day started to be obvious in their eyes. The first one to give up was Michael, followed by Lily and Chloe, as much as Henry, Jake and David tried to fight, they fell asleep not much after their siblings.

(y/n) looked at them with a smile on her face while she went to sit on the couch with the baby monitor in her hand, she had been carrying it with her, afraid Rose was going to wake up.

Spencer sat beside her and sighed, he felt truly happy because of how the evening had turned out, it had been a while since he had laughed so much.

“If you want, you can go home, I can take Henry and Michael to JJ’s” She offered, thinking his sigh was because he was tired, and he was but he wasn’t about to leave his beloved godsons or her, he wanted to be there.

“No, it’s ok, I signed up for the whole night too” He sat beside her.

“Happy Valentine’s day” She handed him the card her and the kids had made for him. When he opened it, he saw a drawing of him, (y/n), Michael, Lily and Chloe. Each drawing was different, surely the kids had done them. And in her handwriting there was a WE LOVE YOU, UNCLE SPENCE,  he felt his heart bursting out of his chest, not only (y/n) but this children made him feel extremely lucky to have them in his life. 

“I’m glad we both offered to babysit tonight” (y/n) put her head in his shoulder like she had done a few weeks ago on the jet.

“Me too, I had a great time, you were right, I had nothing to worry about, they could’ve ended us but they didn’t” He joked.

“Told you” As she closed her eyes trying to rest for a bit, she heard Rose cry through the baby monitor. Spencer jumped a little at the sound.

“Is she ok?” For the second time that night, there was worry in his voice.

“I’m sure she is, I’m gonna go check on her” (y/n) grabbed the baby monitor and went up to the nursery, she changed her diaper and the crying stopped,but  miss Rose was wide awake now, so (y/n) sat in the rocking chair trying to get her to sleep again.

“Go back to sleep, baby girl” She spoke softly to her “Oh Rose, one thing auntie (y/n) is not good at, is lullabies, let me think of a nice song to sing to you” She rocked the baby lightly trying to remember a song that she could sing to her.

Spencer was growing impatient, (y/n) had been up for more than 20 minutes, she had taken the baby monitor so he had no clue what was going on with Rose. He decided to go up and ask if there was anything he could help her with. As he got closer to the nursery he could hear (y/n)’s voice. He wasn’t sure what she was saying until he stopped right outside the nursery, the door was half open so he could now clearly listen to her singing softly to Rose.

“I’ve been trying to do it right, I’ve been living a lonely life, I’ve been sleeping here instead, I’ve been sleeping in my bed, sleeping in my bed, so show me family all the blood that I will bleed, I don’t know where I belong, I don’t know where I went wrong, but I could write a song, I belong with you, you belong with me, you’re my sweetheart, I belong with you, you belong with me you’re my sweet…”

Spencer smiled, he recognized the song, it was from the same band that played the song they had listened on the jet. After that conversation, he had searched the song and had downloaded more songs from that band. He enjoyed their music because it reminded him of (y/n). He silently went back down and decided to wait there for her. He didn’t feel when (y/n) came down a few minutes later and put a blanket around him. She sat on the other couch and let herself fall asleep there.

[bauslut]

as you are | iv.

word count: 4.880k

warnings: drinking, intoxication, cursing, references to ptsd, nudity, nc-17, sexual innuendos, flirting, cuddling, fluff

a/n: this is the fourth chapter of my aaron hotchner fic! as always, if you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know! i always appreciate the kind words and feedback, more than you guys know :’) <3

also, a huge shout-out to @sapphicstars​ for helping me with some dialogue, listening to my rambles, n our mutual thirst over thomas gibson. ily <3

| ii. | iii. |

(i do not own this gif)

“you coming with us?”

a brunette blinks, startled, “oh, um, no, i think i’ll pass.”

jj, prentiss, and garcia are on their way out, coats slung over their shoulders, bags in hand. rowan remained perched at her desk, gathering the rest of her things. it was well past nine o’clock, the lights of the office dimmed, everyone stating their goodbyes.

“you sure?” jj arches a brow, “it’s karaoke night. spence is coming too. it would be fun!”

“i’m fine,” the brunette bore a weary smile, “i have a bit of a headache so i would be a bit of a downer. but have fun guys.”

“whatever you say,” prentiss whistled, “you could always hotch what he’s doing after he’s finished with that endless stack of paperwork.”

“you think that man has a social life outside of his office?” rowan snorted, letting out a chuckle, “it’s best to leave him be. he seems irritated tonight anyways.”

“maybe you could go perk him up a bit huh?” garcia teased, a bubbly giggle echoing through the office, “you know he probably likes--”

“that’s enough,” rowan’s tone was firm, “have fun guys, i mean it.”

“you’re missing out,” prentiss sang over her shoulder, shooting rowan a wink, “goodnight rivers! we’ll miss you!”

waving a meager goodbye, rowan sucked in a sharp breath, lips falling to a frown. slowly, her eyes traveled towards his office, beams of light cascaded from the blinds onto the carpet. through the slits, she could pick out his frame, how he was hunched over, knuckle pressed to his temple, brow furrowed with intense focus.

rising from her seat, she bit her lip, forcing herself to cease the staring. all around her was nothing but darkness and empty seats, a chill running through her body, an unsettling feeling creeping in. how could aaron hotchner always be the first one in, but always the last to leave? did the silence not get to him? was he not fazed? why was he even still hard at work, busting his ass?

all of the team was gone. the unsub was apprehended. the only thing left was the void of an office. the only noise the hum of the unit, the occasional chirp of a bird or honk of a car from outside. the only person left was her, but she was seconds away from leaving.

and what was he going to do the moment he stepped into his apartment? pour himself a glass of scotch? call his son? go to bed? would he drink to forget? drink to drown out the horrid images?

whatever the answer was, rowan would never know.

she was on the elevator before she even mustered up the courage to ask him what he was doing after all that paperwork.

elbows deep in paperwork, aaron hotchner let out an exasperated sigh. it was one thing after another. first it was the receipts for the travel expenses, where there was a discrepancy somewhere in the budget. then, it was the lawyers of a murderer from years ago, claiming that their defendant wished to plead not guilty under the reasoning of insanity. why they were contacting the behavioral analysis unit? aaron had no clue. it was not a matter of his concern.

he longed to get up from his desk, trudge towards the door, and not come back till morning. but he couldn’t. not now. he was almost finished. if he finished this tonight, then he wouldn’t have to stay late tomorrow night. he could go home and enjoy a nice drink. something to take the edge off.

leaning back, his shoulders slumped, fingers rubbing circles into his temple, just above his brow. any moment now, he would be receiving a call from haley, asking where he was. of course, jack would be waiting for him, eager for just a few minutes with dad before bedtime.

the second his phone chirped, buzzing, his hand flew to the device, bringing it to his ear, “hotchner.”

“um, hi. i didn’t think you’d pick up.”

“rowan?” his lips parted, “i don’t recall giving you my number.”

a tiny hiccup flooded his ear, “i had garcia give it to me. what are you doing right now?”

her words were slurred, the question dragging out for a moment longer than needed, her breathy giggle erupting afterwards. aaron’s eyes squeezed shut, “rowan, are you drunk right now?”

“it appears i might be a little intoxicated. well, maybe a lot. but, i don’t think i can drive, like at all. you know what they sayyyyy! don’t drink and drive! driver sober or get pulled over!”

his jaw clenched, “please tell me you don’t want me to come get you.”

“m-maybe i do,” she slurred, “maybe i want to see you, aaron.”

aaron. his heart fluttered, softening just for a second.

“where are you? if i remember, you live forty minutes away.”

there was a pause, the flurry of breaths against the speaker, “i think i’m at a park. i’m sitting on top of my car so i can look at the stars.”

“listen to me,” aaron sprang to his feet, “don’t you move a muscle, rowan. i’m going to come get you and just take you to my place for the night. we have a stop to make first, though.”

“what’s this stop? is it an errand?”

“we-- i have to pick up jack,” he was moving at a rapid pace, shoving papers into his briefcase, frantically searching for his coat, “i have to get jack for the night. i guess haley is going on a date.”

“oooooooohhhh,” her laugh was contagious, ringing like bells, “are you mad?”

“i’m not upset,” using his shoulder, he kept the phone against his ear as he threw on his coat, “rowan, you never answered my question. where are you?”

her response was instant, “i am parked at the park off north and second. how funny is that? i’m parked at a park.”

“listen to me,” aaron was now approaching the elevator, “you’re going to stay on the phone with me until i get into my car, okay? i don’t want anything happening to you.”

“okay, okay,” there was a yawn on the other end, “i’ll be awaiting you for, my knight in shining armor.”

“i’ll be there in ten minutes,” no matter how much he resisted, a blush still spread through his cheeks, “stay with me on the line though, i might need help with directions.”

“okay,” she chirped, “i’m right here. sitting so patiently.”

within a matter of minutes, aaron was pulling up to a mint green ford 500, a shadow poised on the roof. turning off the engine, he threw open the door, his throat tightening as he saw her.

her legs were dangling from the passenger side, eyes fixated on the stars, a dumb-founded grin plastered across her features, hair down, strands flowing in the breeze. she was still in the clothes from earlier: a pair of black skinny jeans, black v-neck sweater with white lines around the neckline and cuffs of the sleeves. the thick heels of her docs thudded gently against the windows as she kicked her feat rhythmically.

even in the dim light, he noticed the rose tint painting her cheeks, the way the reflection of the stars glossed over in her stare.

god, she was so beautiful, her skin glowing softly in the moonlight.

“hey,” he cleared his throat, concern creeping in as shards of glass glittered on the pavement below, “d-did you drink an entire bottle?”

“i like to drink my liquor like water,” rowan shrugged, her eyes brightening as they fell on aaron, “i’m so glad you came to get me.”

“c’mon,” aaron tsked, “haley won’t stop texting me. she’s getting impatient.”

“okay, okay,” rowan slid off the side, stumbling as her feet landed, “i’m so tired.”

“i bet you are,” he scoffed, “you need a change of clothes, some water, and a couple aspirin before you sleep though.”

offering her his elbow, aaron helped rowan into the car, spews of incoherent rambles flowing from her lips. every second she was onto another topic, giggling and mumbling to herself. as much as he wanted to be cross with her, as much as he wanted to scold her, he knew he couldn’t. he couldn’t make her upset.

he couldn’t blame her for her actions, for how she would cope with the horrors of the job.

a week had passed since the incident on the jet. afterwards, aaron avoided the subject like it his divorce. he wouldn’t accept that it happened, the emotions and feelings that came along with it. he didn’t want to face the facts. they carried too much weight.

but as she was sitting in the passenger seat of his car, her laugh so melodic and sweet, dripping like honey from her lips as she played with the radio, had him in a daze, corner of lips tugging into a smile, heart swelling at his new favorite sound.

and aaron hotchner wasn’t sure if he was beyond the point of no return, or just starting the journey there.

about an half an hour passed before he was leading her to his bedroom, careful that she didn’t slip or stumble, “you’re going to sleep here tonight.”

“what about you?” her lips curved into a pout, lip jutting out.

“i’ll be on the couch,” the response was cool, his voice low, “since you don’t have a change of clothes, i’m going to let you borrow some of mine, okay?”

“okay,” she nodded enthusiastically.

rummaging around in his dresser, aaron fished out a plain black shirt, along with a pair of sweats, “here, take these.”

rowan grasped the clothes, setting them on the bed. plopping on the edge of the mattress, she fiddled with the laces of her boots, kicking them off with a huff. aaron hovered, lingering as he discarded his coat, suit jacket, tie, and dress shoes. glancing down at his phone, his attention shifted as she rose to her feet, giving her some privacy as she changed.

one message in particular piqued his interest. a text from haley.

who was that?

shoving the phone back in his pocket, he bit back a sigh, “rowan are you-- oh my god.”

her body was exposed, a lace black thong on her lower half. beams of moonlight reflected off her flesh, like a sculptor highlighting the most beautiful aspects of his sculpture. but god, every part of her was so beautiful. from her soft thighs, to her strong shoulders, she was alluring, drawing aaron in.

blood flowed to his lower half the longer he stared, completely savoring the sight, his cock throbbing against the constraint of his slacks. a smirk crept onto her lips, cheeks still tainted a crimson hue as her gaze drifted towards his pants, “what, aaron?”

“rowan--”

“you want to suck on ‘em, aaron hotchner?” she cooed, grasping a breast in each hand, bouncing them ever so slightly, “i know you do.”

“rowan,” aaron swallowed thickly, scrambling to regain his composure, “you’re inebriated. please, put on a shirt.”

“do you not want to suck on them?”

“we need to get you to bed,” his tone was assertive, as if he was scolding jack, “please, put on a shirt and get in bed.”

“i wish you could sleep with me,” rowan mumbled, sliding into the shirt.

once again, he caught himself glancing over. the shirt was huge, barely clinging to her frame, tapering off about mid thigh. rowan folded her arms over her chest, eyes narrowing, “what aaron? are you going to help tuck me in or not?”

“sure rowan,” his annoyance dissolved, crumbling into a bliss as he padded over to the bed, helping throw the blanket over as she curled up, sinking into the sheets.

if only he could see her in his clothes every night. if only she could sleep in his bed every night.

if only she was sober enough to remember all this.

“goodnight aaron hotchner,” her voice was thick with sleep, eyes closed, slurred speech from the liquor, “thank you for being my knight in shining armor. even when i annoy you.”

“you’re welcome rowan,” a chuckled bubbled up in his throat, “you can always count on me to be there for you, even when you piss me off.”

“thank you,” she whispered.

“you’re welcome.”

running a hand through his hair, he exited from the room, pausing in the doorway. giving one last look over his shoulder, he ensured that she was asleep before he left. with each step, exhaustion seeped in, the idea of sleep so tantalizing. even if he was designated to the couch, he would be content. as long as it was a place to rest.

slumping onto the couch, he pulled a blanket over his body, finally at ease now that his son was asleep, as well as rowan. it seemed as if no matter how hard he tried to avoid her, to veer away from her path, they were always bumping into one another.

perhaps they were on separate paths, but always somehow intertwined.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

a wail pierced his eardrums, cutting into the night. blearily, aaron rubbed his eyes, checking his watch.

3:23 a.m.

concern grew as another cry echoed through the apartment, reverberating off the walls. fighting back a yawn, he got off the couch, prepared to comfort his son from a nightmare. it would only be a few words of reassurance, a pat or two on the back, and staying for a couple minutes. nothing that he wasn’t familiar with. clambering to the kitchen, he drew a glass of water, taking a sip.

however, as he approached the bedrooms, his heart lurched in his chest, an icy cold feeling coursing through his veins.

the cries were from his room.

pushing open the door to his room, his eyes widened at the scene unfolding before him. rowan was sobbing, tears streaming down her cheeks, clutching her head, rocking back and forth.

“we should have saved them. we should have saved them. we should have saved them.”

“rowan?” he called out softly, in an attempt to pull her away from her nightmare, inching towards the bed,  “rowan.”

“aaron?” she blinked, eyes glazed with tears.

“i’m here,” setting down the glass, he sat on the bed, “rowan, it’s okay. i’m here.”

carefully, he wrapped his arms around her, cradling her head against his chest to alleviate any nausea. fingers glided through her hair. she buried her head into his chest, tears staining his button down, “we should have saved them.”

“i know, i know.”

“why are you still in your work clothes?” she sniffled, “you should get out of them.”

“i fell asleep on the couch.”

“you should stay here and hold me,” her voice faltered, words a broken whimper.

“do you want me to?” the words were delicate, his voice low and hushed.

“yes please.”

“give me a second and i’ll hold you,” lips brushed the crown of her head, “let me change into something more comfortable.”

minutes passed before a tender hand connected with her shoulder, “scoot over. you’re on my side.”

rowan obeyed, rolling onto her right side. his arms engulfed her, bringing her closer to his chest, head nuzzling into her neck. the moment his arms were around her, holding her snug in his tight embrace, she collapsed, any anxiety or worry disappearing completely, sleep taking hold.

“you need to rest, ro,” his breath fanned against her ear, “you’ve been through enough tonight.”

“you’ve been through a lot too,” she mumbled, “if anyone needs rest here, it’s you.”

his throat vibrated against her shoulder blade as he chuckled, “well i’ll sleep soon ro, i promise.”

“promise?”

aaron pressed one last kiss to her cheek, “i promise.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

sunlight filtered in through the blinds, her nose wrinkling as she stirred. reaching over, her heart skipped a beat as there was nothing but an empty void of cold sheets. jolting awake, rowan shot up, panting slightly.

“well good morning to you too.”

heat flared in her cheeks as she peered over in the direction of the all too familiar voice.

aaron hotchner was clad in a pair of pressed ink-colored slacks, and pearly white button up, threading a crimson tie around his neck, “how’d you sleep?”

the sound of his voice sent a shiver down her spine, the words gravelly, loaded with exhaustion.

“what time is it?”

“6:49 a.m.,” he straightened the tie, crossing over to his closet to retrieve the final piece of his uniform, “your clothes are in the bathroom, washed and folded.”

“oh god,” the blush deepened as fingertips grazed the soft cotton tee, “oh my god.”

“i’m giving you the day off,” he stated, shoving his arms into the jacket, “from the look of it, you need it.”

“but my car--”

he raised a foot to the bed, tying the laces of his dress shoes, “you can either stay here and completely sleep off that headache i know you have, or i can drive you up to your car. but, if you do end up staying, i have a favor to ask.”

“where’s my car?” her mind was foggy, her skull throbbing, “i can’t remember anything from last night.”

“the park off north and second.”

“oh,” chewing the inside of her cheek, rowan assessed the situation, “what’s this favor?”

clearly, she had done something to end up here. to end up in her boss’ bed. the only clear memory she could recollect was driving to the park, turning her car off, and bringing the bottle to her lips.

the rest was a blur.

“i need you to watch jack for me. his daycare provider has the flu and she doesn’t want him contracting it,” his tone was monotonous, as if he was speaking to her the way he did when they were at the bau, “also, you were beyond the point of coherence last night, called me, and i let you spend the night. i didn’t want you driving home or staying at a motel. i’m shocked that you could even speak cohesive sentences.”

“aaron, did i do anything weird?” rowan inquired, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

he paused, exhaling as he plucked the briefcase off the floor, “i mean, you were pretty much naked in front of me.”

“what--”

facing her, her neck burned as a smug grin enveloped his features, eyes glittering with amusement, “you’re quite the flirt when you’re drunk, you know that?”

beads of sweat formed as her forehead, palms clamming up, “oh my god that’s so unprofessional-- you’re my boss--”

“rowan, everything that’s happening right now is unprofessional. now, i don’t really have a set list of rules when it comes to watching jack. just make sure he gets an afternoon nap in, and no bullshit for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, you got that?”

“you realize that i’m trashed right now, right?”

“you don’t look it one bit,” he shot her a wink, her heart fluttering, “i’ll let you meet him when he wakes. he usually sleeps in till about 7:30, so you have a good half an hour to compose yourself. i would suggest taking a shower or at least brushing your hair to look nice.”

“he’s a child--” rowan scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“he’s my son,” his eyes hardened with a glare, “and you better take care of him.”

“aaron i can barely take care of myself.”

“well it’s good that i’m here, isn’t it?” he mused, glancing at his watch, “i have to go. call me if you need anything. i would’ve given you my number, but it seems that garcia already gave you it.”

“bye,” rowan murmured, “i’m sorry that i can’t be there.”

“don’t worry about it,” aaron leaned over the bed, pressing his lips to her temple for a chaste kiss, “i suggest taking a nap when jack does. you need it, ro.”

and just like that, he was out the door.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

“what’s up with him?” rossi’s eyes narrowed as hotch stepped out of the elevator.

“i have no idea,” prentiss followed his movement, lips pursing, “is he.. is he smiling?”

“he never smiles.”

“hey,” reid cleared his throat, “you guys haven’t seen rowan today, have you?”

“who?” derek chimed in, cup of coffee in his grasp, “rivers?”

“she hasn’t come in yet this morning and she hasn’t answered her phone,” garcia announced, eyes widened with worry as she sipped her coffee, “i don’t know how legal this is but she had me track her car one time when she went on blind date with a guy from the town over. well, that’s besides the point. what worries me is that she left her car at some local park last night and it hasn’t moved since.”

“also,” prentiss stuck out a hand, “hotch was late.”

“he’s not late,” reid countered, “he’s--”

“we know he’s not late,” morgan snorted, “what she means is that hotch is always the first one here, no matter what. today he didn’t even show up till we were all here.”

“should we ask him about it?” prentiss arched a brow, “i mean, maybe he knows where rowan is. after all, he is the unit chief. he’s the one we call for sick days.”

“well lucky for you all you can hold an interrogation before we discuss this next case,” jj cut in, arms loaded with files, “since we’re all here, let’s head into the conference room.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

the child teetered over to rowan, wide-eyed as she scoured the freezer, “ro-ro, what are you doing?”

“looking for pizza,” her voice is muffled by the door.

“pizza?”

“do you want some pizza?” she turned, a cardboard box in her hands, “i promise i won’t tell your dad. here, we can watch some cartoons while we wait for it to cook in the oven. would you like that?”

jack hotchner nodded, his blonde locks bobbing, “yes please. i won’t tell dad.”

“do you want to put the pizza in the oven?”

“yes!” jack jumped in place, nearly melting rowan’s heart.

swiveling on her heel, rowan searched for a pizza pan, ripping the box and peeling away the plastic covering. once she was finished, she placed the pizza on the pan, handing it to jack. carefully, rowan opened the door of the oven, “all right jack, be very careful. it’s really hot.”

“i’ll be careful,” he protested, allowing rowan to help guide his arms without touching the heated door.

“would you look at that,” rowan beamed, “you did such a good job jack! you can shut the door now.”

jack gripped the handle, pulling it shut, “i did it!”

“good job buddy!” the smile widened as she witnessed the pure excitement in his gaze, how he gushed and giggled at the praise.

god, he was such a cute kid.

scooping jack into her arms, rowan carried him over to the den, placing him on the couch, “what do you want to watch jack? do you like tom and jerry?”

“i love tom and jerry,” rowan couldn’t help but crack a smile as jack giggled, the sound utterly contagious.

“well, we’ll watch some tom and jerry then,” she chuckled, throwing the blanket over her, sharing some with jack as she plucked the remote off the coffee table.

“ro-ro how do you know my daddy?”

the question nearly sweeps rowan off her feet, desperate to formulate some sort of suitable answer. one that he would understand.

“we met at work. do you always ask so many questions? you sound like your dad.”

the t.v. flickered on, rowan clicking the button of the remote to find the right channel.

“i like uncle spencer but i think i like you more.” his words were slurred as he struggled to enunciate a few words, but it melted her heart nonetheless.

“am i your aunt?” rowan chuckled.

“no you were in the house this morning with daddy so obviously you’re my new mom.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

“hotch, you’re never late, what was the hold up?” morgan’s tone was light with a tease, almost conniving.

“sorry, i had to arrange a new babysitter for jack. his usual daycare provider has the flu so i had to meet the new sitter to make sure everything was going to go smoothly,” the unit chief didn’t crack one bit, his focus honed in on the file before them.”

“well that’s inter--” morgan licked his lips, the words ceasing as a shrill ringtone filled the conference room.

“i better take this,” as his eyes scanned the called i.d., hotch rose from his seat, stepping away from the table.

“what is it? everything okay?”

“must be the babysitter,” rossi mused, drumming his fingers on the table.

“uh yeah your son thinks i’m new his mom,” her voice was light, shrill with laughter.

“did you tell him that?” fingers gravitated towards his temple, annoyance flaring.

“no he just thinks it,” he could picture her shrug.

“tell him that you’re not.” hotch shook his head, rubbing his forehead.

“aw well i’ve always wanted to be a mother someday--” she whined.

“rowan.”

“what am i supposed to tell him? just ‘no i’m not’? hotch, that sounds so mean,” hotch could almost hear his son in the background, giggling at whatever was going on.

“rowan we are not dating nor do i intend on having a child with you.”

“that’s not what your eyes said last night,” rowan murmured, the way her voice shifted nearly coating his cheeks a pink hue.

“i gotta go,” he muttered, “i’ll text you later.”

“wait--”

the line clicked before rowan could even finish, hotch shoving his phone back into his pocket. sucking in a deep breath, he faced his team, their eyes hungry, gleaming with satisfaction, a variety of smirks stretched across their lips.

“hotch, did you just say rowan?” prentiss folded her arms across her chest.

“no i said sharon.”

“so where is rowan again?” garcia inquired, pen scribbling doodles.  

“she called in with a headache,” hotch responded coolly.

“well her car says she’s at the park off north so where is she?”

“who’s shannon? did you have date with her last night? tell us about it!” morgan jeered, taunting.

“rivers called me earlier this morning informing me that she had a migraine,” hotch muttered, “so are we done acting like children?”

the team nodded, their expressions unwavering. discussing the case was pure agony, everyone oogling at hotch as if he was some sort of creature, an alien from outer space. as much as aaron didn’t want to crack underneath their banter, he was well aware that they were profilers, trained to pick out every single fiber of one’s mind and behavior.

they could see right through him.

and he was an awful liar no less.

as the team departed from the room, scampering out, giggling like idiots, rossi lingered, coughing before he spoke, “i didn’t know rowan started a babysitting service.”

“i-i don’t know what you’re talking about.” hotch stammered, tripping over the words.

rossi laid a hand on his shoulder, patting it gently, “mmmm okay, say hi to her for me when you check in later. i kinda miss the kid.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

the apartment was silent, the t.v. on mute, light dancing across the room as aaron strolled in. jack was nowhere to be found, the silence nearly defeaming. heart thudding in his chest, he flocked to his room, relaxing as he saw his son sound asleep, chest rising and falling, in a pair of mickey mouse pajamas.

he was curled up with his favorite bear, night light illuminating the room with a soft golden glow. a weary sigh tumbled from aaron’s lips as he backtracked, making his way towards the den.

rowan was upright, head propped up by a hand as her lids drooped, lashes fluttering. believing she was deep in slumber, aaron, plopped down on the couch, throwing his head against the leather.

a single word, so soft and gentle, startled him, “hey.”

“hey,” he whispered, “i’m sorry for getting back so late.”

“what time is it?” rowan brought a hand to her mouth to conceal a yawn, stretching out her legs.

“a little past one in the morning.”

“oh shit,” she chuckled, the noise hoarse from sleep, “what was the case?”

“nothing that we couldn’t get taken care of within a matter of hours. i’m afraid the team was a little more rambunctious than usual today.”

“rambunctious?” rowan snorted, “that’s definitely not the same  behavior analysis unit of quantico, virginia that i know. they’re never rambunctious.”

there was nothing more that he could have wanted more in that moment than to come home to her every night.

if only every night could be like this.

where he could come home, burdened by the stressors of his job, muscles sore from the physicality of it, head loaded with nothing but images of what he saw. what he heard. the monsters that lurked in the shadows.

yet, the moment he saw her, everything would just disappear.

nothing would matter.

nothing but her.

nothing but the heat of the moment.

“hey,” fingertips brushed her jawline, the touch feathery and light, “rowan?”

“yeah?” her irises were a stormy ocean, a torrent of blues and greys, glimmering with apprehension.

“come here.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

tagged: @sapphicstars​​ @colorlessfl0wers​

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Your Hand In Mine ~ Bucky x Reader Oneshot (Request)

A/n: Hi my lovelies! Happy weekend, I hope everyone is doing alright and staying healthy. So I received this request I think like two days after I announced my hiatus and it’s been sitting in my inbox since then. But it’s also been percolating in my brain since then and I’m finally happy with how it turned out.  I hope you will enjoy it too. 

Thanks for the request @ashhys-lost-in-fanfics-again​

Request:  Hi! I love your writing! I have a Bucky x Reader idea, iydm. R's a powerful Avenger. She has a RIGHT(important it's her right) metal arm. It's rose gold when it's not covered by her skin graft. Bucky is being teased by team&gets upset. He yells no one understands how hard the burden is and storms off. R goes after him to comfort, he turns on her, asking how she'd know? She gently disables her skin graft&shows her rose gold metal arm. Fluff & Angst please!

Characters/Pairings: Bucky x reader, Sam, Steve, Clint, Nat and Tony are mentioned. 

Rating: T 

WARNINGS: Trauma, loss of limb, mild language, angst, but there’s a lot of fluff too! 

Disclaimer: My medical knowledge is limited to what I could glean from google so if there’s anything that doesn’t make sense I apologize. 

Word Count: 4230

Bucky grunted as he attempted to reach the knot that had formed in his shoulder blade but no matter which way he twisted or turned he couldn’t get the right pressure. He gave up on using his flesh arm and went in search of a tennis ball or even better a softball.

After finally locating one in the equipment closet, Bucky found the nearest wall and set to work maneuvering the ball into position. He had just found the right spot when you and Sam entered the gym, chattering happily about the movie you’d seen the night before.

Your animated tone made Bucky smile.

“Morning, Bucky,” you greeted him cheerfully.

“Morning, y/n.”

“Turning into a cat, Barnes?” Sam called when he spotted him shimmying his back against the wall.

“Can it, birdbrain,” Bucky snapped, smile falling.

Grumbling about being interrupted when he’d finally started feeling relief, he pulled off the wall and pocketed the ball before storming out of the gym.

“Sam,” you sighed as you dropped your bag and began stretching.

“Don’t ‘Sam’ me. Last week he disconnected his arm enough that I yanked it off and hit myself in the face when he helped me up. It’s fair game.”

“I suppose.”  

Bucky gave as good as he got, and you all knew neither of them meant anything by it. But today you could see he was in pain, but mostly he was frustrated.

“You can’t treat him with kid gloves,” Sam stated firmly.  

“I know. And I don’t think we should, but this is more than him being grumpy. He’s in real pain.”

“Maybe you’re right. I’ll lay off until he settles down a bit.”

“Thank you.”

The two of you started stretching.

“You know, if you’re really worried about him being sore, you could always offer to give him a massage,” Sam smirked and waggled his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes before you actually considered at.

“Actually. That’s not a bad idea.”

His eyes widened as he froze.

“Wait. You’re really going to offer to give Barnes a massage.”

“Not exactly. But I think I have something that could help.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll tell you later. After I kick your ass.”

“Oh you are on.”

After a full morning of sparring with Sam and then a round of weight training with Steve you were more than a little sore. You settled yourself in the living room post shower with your foam roller and your trigger point massager.

“How was your workout?” Bucky asked as he closed his book, watching you roll back and forth to relax your quad.

“It was good. I think Steve is trying to make sure I can bench press him soon.”  

“I’d pay money to see that.”

You huffed out a laugh which quickly turned into a groan when you started rolling out your other leg.

“It would be pretty hilarious,” you agreed wincing slightly when your shoulder twinged. “I’m not far off. I’m at 220 now.”

“Pretty impressive considering you started lifting like a month ago.”

“Started lifting again,” you corrected him. “I used to lift when I was in the marines.”

“I didn’t know you served.”

“Marine corporal y/n y/l/n at your service.”

Folding yourself so you sat criss cross, you pulled out the trigger point massager debating which end to use.

“What’s that?” Bucky asked as he watched you.

“It helps me get the knots out of the hard to reach places without putting me in more pain. It was a lifesaver when Nat decided I needed to be able to do a full rings performance.”

“Um. Why?”

“They needed me to go in as a gymnastics coach for the men’s team. Had to prove myself.”

“Wow. You’re something else.”

You sighed out your thanks as you hit the knot just the right way to get it to release. Bucky eyed you curiously trying to figure out if it would help him, but also not wanting to ask. You had to bite your tongue to keep from offering it; you knew he was apt to refuse.

“Y/n, can you come help me with dinner?” Sam called.

“Coming, Sammy!”

You started to push yourself to your feet but your arms buckled and you fell back onto your butt with a grunt.

“Need a hand?” Bucky teased, already on his feet.

“No,” you tried again with similar results. “Alright, maybe I could use some help,” you finally sigh.

Chuckling, you grabbed both of Bucky’s hands as he hauled you to your feet.

“Thanks, Buck,” you breathed, caught off guard by the spark the contact gave you.

“Any time, doll,” he promised quietly, earning him a bright smile.

Neither of you had let go yet.

“Shake a leg, y/n!”

You rolled your eyes at Sam’s impatience.

“I’ll see you at dinner, Bucky.”

“See you.”

You squeezed his fingers lightly before releasing him. You tucked the foam roller and massager into the corner next to the couch and slipped out of the room, humming as you went.

“So did he go for it?” Sam asked as he handed you an onion to chop.

“We’ll see.”

 Bucky stared at his hands for a moment; he’d felt a spark when he touched you. And he was almost certain you did too. It was the most contact the two of you had had since you joined the team six months prior, and it damn near knocked Bucky on his butt.

Shaking away the distraction he moved to return to his book, but hesitated as he looked at the massager. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt if he tried it. You had always been very generous with things far more valuable and personal than this. Bucky picked up the massager and settling the curve over his shoulder gasped in relief as it hit where he needed it immediately.

This particular pain had been plaguing him for weeks and to feel it recede was nearly euphoric.

 When you passed by the common room to call everyone for dinner, you noticed Bucky was no longer there and your massager was precisely where you’d left it. Frowning, you gathered everyone you could and asked FRIDAY to call the rest.

Bucky and Steve were the last to join the table, laughing boisterously as they entered. You could see the lightness in him as he sat next to Natasha, and Sam shot you a knowing smile. And, if you happened to notice a massager of his own arrive in the mail a few days later, you didn’t mention it. If you did everything in your power to have more casual contact with Bucky, then you didn’t mention that either.  

The phantom pain was the worst in Bucky’s opinion. All of the other aches and pains he could at least try to alleviate them. But the phantom pain, he simply had to wait it out. Sometimes he would try to work out until his body was exhausted, but still the pain came. So he turned to distraction.

Which is how he found himself sitting in the common room glaring at the television on his third round of channel surfing through nine thousand eight hundred and twelve stations. This was after nearly an hour of searching Netflix for anything to hold his attention.

“Hey, Bucky,” you chirped as you breezed into the room.

He merely grunted out a hello.

“I made tea. Thought you might want some,” you explained as you raised the deep blue mug that he favored.

A smidgen of his gruffness slipped away in the face of your thoughtfulness.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

You smiled and handed him the mug before preparing to retreat to your room to give him some peace and quiet.

“Did you – I mean, you’re welcome to sit. I mean stay if you want. I was just going to find something mindless to watch.”

Your bright smile continued to chip away at the pain induced grumpiness.

“I’d love to.”

You grabbed your favorite blanket and wrapped it around you before settling on the couch to his left.

Bucky tensed as you took your seat. His left side was always left open, he felt caged in, waiting for you to remember the horrible atrocities that hand had borne witness to and get as far as way from it as you can.

But instead you plucked the remote from his metal hand, unthinkingly brushing against it without so much as a flinch. Bucky wasn’t sure what to make of that, but it relaxed him.  

“So what did you wanna watch?” you asked as you blew on your tea and opened the app menu.  

“I dunno. Any suggestions?”

“Well my favorite brainless show is Galavant.”

“What’s that about?”

“It is a comedy musical extravaganza,” you quoted the tag line. “Basically Monthy Python meets Princess Bride meets my high school drama club.”

Bucky chuckled at the explanation.

“You were in the drama club?”

“Yes, I was.”

“Please tell me your performances are on video.”

“Even if they were, they would not see the light of day.”

“Why not? I bet you were adorable.”

The words slipped out without him thinking about it, and you turned quirking an eyebrow and trying to hide a smile at the blush rising on his cheeks.

“I just mean, I’m sure you were a great actress. You’re one of the best spies we have.”

“Believe it or not, that’s a skill not a talent.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

“I’d still love to see that footage.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes.

“I bet you would, Barnes. But they are under lock and key.”

“So they do exist!”

“Let’s just watch Galavant?”

Bucky yielded with a triumphant smile.

“Let’s give it a shot. It certainly sounds interesting.”

“Yay.”

Bucky was skeptical throughout the first couple of episodes.

“It gets better,” you promised ardently when you glanced over after the third episode.  

“I’m sure it does,” he hummed, sipping on his tea to hide his smile. “This is really good. What kind is it?”

“It’s a mix of chamomile, lavender, a little lemon, and a touch of peppermint. It’s my favorite. Always helps relax me after missions.”

Between the tea and your enthusiastic sing along during the first season, Bucky’s focus was slowly diverted from the lingering ache in his arm.

When you had started yawning, you readjusted your blanket and snuggled into his side unthinkingly. You had fallen asleep shortly after. He left his arm along the back of the couch, and angled his body slightly so your head rested on his chest instead of the hard metal of his shoulder joint. He turned off the TV, content to watch you as you slept. Soon though your deep even breaths soothed him and he fell asleep as well.

 The first thing Bucky became aware of as he woke up was a weight on his chest. Your head was pillowed just above his heart and you were sound asleep.  The second thing he noticed, but couldn’t quite believe, was that your right hand was interlaced with his left and resting on your stomach.

You were completely at peace and he had no idea what to do, so he stayed still watching you. Your other thumb stroked lightly along his forearm as you cuddled the metal like a teddy bear. Bucky hadn’t experienced this much tenderness since before the war. He hadn’t experienced this much casual affection ever.

He watched as your fingers flexed ever so slightly between his. If he closed his eyes he could feel warmth and the softness of your touch. And for the first time since he fell from the train, he wished a phantom feeling would last forever.

Over the next few weeks you always seemed to manage to brush up against his metal arm in some way – passing food at dinner, or reaching for the elevator button at the same time. Dozens of times. And each time Bucky’s heart would beat just a little bit faster.

But then a mission went wrong. You’d been posing as a married couple vacationing in the Cayman Islands as you tried to get close to the banker for a number of the major criminal syndicates around the world.

Pretending to be in love with Bucky Barnes was easy when you were halfway to actually being in love with him. You were close to the end of the mission when there was a problem and you had to drop Bucky’s hand and distance yourself from him. It brought enough attention that you got made. And soon you were fighting for your life.

It had been a week since the mission and Bucky hadn’t spoken a word to you since debrief. Today was the first time you saw him for more than three minutes as he sat on the floor fiddling with the wiring in his wrist while his arm kit lay open in front of him on the coffee table as you, Steve, Sam, and Clint were playing gin.  

Steve was watching you sneak glances at Bucky. You had tried to find him to apologize, but when Bucky Barnes didn’t want to be found. He wasn’t.  

“Gin!” You announced happily.

“Again?” Sam groaned.

“Tally up, boys.”

“Seventy-five,” Clint grimaced before tossing his cards on the table and turning his attention to Bucky, concerned by the odd sparks coming from his arm.

“Whatcha up to, terminator?”  

“My arm hasn’t been working right since I got shocked on that last mission,” he replied without looking up.

“What do you mean not working?” Sam asked.

“Can’t really control it. My touch is too light or too harsh. I can’t regulate it.”  

“That didn’t happen last time you got hit,” Sam observed.

“Yeah, but last time I wasn’t shoved into a lake while being electrocuted.”

The younger man hummed, dipping his head in acknowledgment. You grimaced knowing it was your fault he got pushed in the lake.

“Should we call Shuri?” Steve worried.

“It’s fine. I’m sure I can fix it.”

“It’s been a few days now.”

“Drop it, Steve,” Bucky nearly growled.

“Did you try turning off and back on again?” Clint offered before he and Sam broke out into a fit of laughter.  

“Maybe you should stick it in some rice.”

“Enough,” Steve warned as Bucky gathered his things and headed for the door.

“Come on, Barnes, we’re only joking.”

“It’s not a joke! Just leave me alone. None of you know what it’s like living with this… this thing every day,” Bucky shouted as he rushed out of the room.

Steve made to go after him but you stopped him, with a gentle hand to his chest.

“I’ll go.”

“Y/n.”

“Steve, it’s time,” you told him pointedly.

Narrowing his eyes, Steve nodded after a moment of internal debate.

“Your choice.”

Offering him a reassuring smile, you turned towards the elevator.

“Y/n,” Clint murmured, making you pause. “Tell Barnes we’re sorry.”

“We didn’t realize it was an over the line day.”

“I’ll tell him,” you agreed.

You hurried towards the elevator, leaving the apologetic superheroes behind.

“Seventh floor please, FRIDAY.”

“Yes, Agent Y/l/n.”

Stepping out onto Steve and Bucky’s floor, you took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

“Go away!” He shouted from deep within the room.  

“Bucky, it’s me. Please can I come in?”

“Just leave me alone, doll,” he insisted but you could tell he was just behind the door this time.

“Bucky, please. I just want to help.”

Silence.

But you weren’t ready to give up yet, so you leaned against his door.

He only lasted a couple of minutes before unlocking the door and allowing you in. His head hung low as you stepped past him and he recoiled when you reached to comfort him so you let your hand drop.

“Can I take a look? I think I can help.”

“I tried all of the normal fixes, and last time I checked you weren’t a biomechanical engineer so I’m not really sure how you can help,” he explained, trying to hustle you out the door.

You tried not to be annoyed by his dismissiveness, but it ruffled you nonetheless. If only he knew.

“I may not be an engineer but I have a lot of experience with prosthetics. I understand-“

“Oh really?” he snapped, frustration getting the better of him. “What the hell do you understand? Do you understand the phantom pain and the way my skin feels like it’s still ripping apart? Do you know how it feels when you have a part of you that you can’t control sometimes? Do you understand how much I wish I didn’t have to be afraid of touching someone with this thing? No? Then just leave me alone,” he growled, though the despair cut through the bite.

“Bucky.”

“Please, doll. Just go.”

His head hung low and his tone was utterly defeated.

“Bucky, I do understand you. I understand all of those things,” you murmured.  

“How could you possibly?”

There was an almost hopeful undercurrent to the disbelieving question as his eyes met yours.  

“Because they happen to me too,” you sighed softly as you extended your right arm in front of you, tapping your pulse point twice to disable the holograft.

Bucky’s eyes widened as the graft retracted into a thin bracelet of rose gold, which matched your newly revealed arm.

“Wha-, how? When?” he stumbled over the questions as he examined your arm.

“I was stationed at a base hospital. There was an accident with the autoclave they used to sterilize the instruments. The steel door blew off and pinned me to the ground, which I probably would have gotten out of, but the impact sent a ton of heavy equipment piling on top of me. By the time they got me out, the damage was done and they had to amputate.”

“That’s… I had no idea.”

“Most people don’t,” you agreed quietly, averting your eyes and resisting the urge to hide your arm behind your back.

“Who does know?”

“Natasha who recruited me. Tony who built my arm and the holograft. And Steve because it glitched out on a mission and he paid the price. Like you almost did.”

“What?” he asked, his brows furrowing.

You finally looked at him.

“When we were undercover last week and I yanked away, it was because my arm was glitching and I could control my fine motor skills anymore. The last time it happened to Steve I actually managed to fracture a few of his bones. I forgot that you wouldn’t have the same problem.”

“So I didn’t hurt you?”

His body was tense as he waited for your answer.

“Oh no. Of course not.”

You heart sank to the floor as he shoulders slumped in relief.  

“Bucky, is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” you asked softly.

He nodded, meeting your gaze through his lashes.

“I thought I hurt you and that’s why you pulled away.”

You were shaking your head before he could finish his sentence.

“No. No. Oh I’m so sorry you felt that way. I didn’t want to hurt you. When it all went to shit, I regretted not telling you so much.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Honestly? Because I didn’t think you’d take me coming up to you and saying ‘hey, I’ve got a metal arm too let’s be friends’ as a good first impression.“

Bucky chuckled at the mental image you conjured eyes crinkling as they found yours.

“It certainly would have been memorable. But I suppose that’s fair.”

You hummed softly as you waited for his next move.

“So all of the things you did for me… the massager, the tea, the weirdass show?”

“All things that worked for me. And Galavant is a treasure,” she added as an afterthought.

Pursing his lips deepened his frown.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Bucky. You didn’t know.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he argued. “I never should have yelled at you or taken my frustrations out on you. Please accept my apology.”

His oceanic eyes implored you.

“Of course. It’s all forgotten.”

“Thank you. I owe the guys an apology for today.”

“They understand,” you assured him. “They said their sorry.”

“Still, I should-“

He turned towards the door but you quickly moved in front of him.

“Will you sit your butt down.”

Bucky was shocked by the authority in your tone and immediately complied without thinking, plopping down on the nearest surface which happened to be the bed.

“Now, can I please look at your arm?” you asked softly.

If he still truly didn’t want your help you would back off.

Bucky nodded his assent, swallowing harshly.

“Where’s your kit?”

“On the desk.”

Grabbing the small screwdriver and a set of tweezers from the worn leather pouch, you sat on the bed next to him and got to work.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” you mumbled as you focused on tracing the currents in his arm.

“Why do you always wear the skin graft?”

You were quiet as you thought about your answer.

“From a tactical standpoint, I’d stick out like a sore thumb. So it’s a necessity on missions.”

“But around the team?”

“I wanted one less thing for them to make assumptions about when I joined I guess.”

Before Bucky could ask what you meant, you continued on.

“After the accident, things were hard. It was a major loss, and I wasn’t quite sure how to cope. I didn’t think my life could ever be normal again. But my rehab team were great and they’ve made such amazing advances in prosthetics that life was different but it was okay. I found a new normal, and I could live my life the way I wanted to for the most part. But other people when they met me couldn’t see that. It was like I was nothing more than my arm and my accident. So when Natasha recruited me and Tony offered me the holograft I took it.”

“A chance at normal.”

“Exactly. Fortunately, I’m not known for my metal arm so no one questioned it.”

You offered him a sympathetic smile, knowing he would likely never have the luxury of anonymity. Baseball caps and sunglasses weren’t as good of a disguise as some super soldiers might think.

“This is true. Do you hate it?” Bucky almost whispered and you froze.

The super soldier’s eyes darted to yours when you didn’t speak and your hands stilled.

“I did. For a long time. I’ve known a lot of friends who’ve lost limbs, lost lives, because of i.e.d.’s and landmines, so honestly I did my two tours expecting to not come home in one piece. The fact that it was a random accident in a low risk assignment, made me feel like I’d swum across an entire ocean just to drown in a wave pool. I hated that it made me feel weak. But over time, it became a part of my life. And after attending too many funerals my life was more than enough to be thankful for. And now, I get to use my arm to help people. So no, I don’t hate it. Not anymore.”

Bucky was quiet as he observed you, trying to sort out all of the new information. You returned your attention to his arm, carefully ferreting out the problem.

“Aha! Gotcha. Little piece of… there.”

You stripped out a bit of exposed wiring and tightened a bolt and eighth of an inch.

“That should do it,” you announced. “How does it feel?”

Bucky swung his arm in a wide circle and flexed his fingers.

“Much better. What was wrong?”

 “The shock fried on of the connections that translates the electrical impulses from your nerves. It made it hypersensitive.”

“Thank you, doll.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad I could help.”

You returned the tools to his kit, taking your time to precisely arrange them so you could try to think of what to say next.

“How are your tactile sensations?” You asked when you sat down on the bed again.

“They feel okay, but I should probably test it to see. Make sure it works on precious things.”

“Got anything precious nearby?”

“Yeah.”

Bucky cautiously raised his hand toward you.

“May I?”

You nodded, holding your breath.

The silver hand continued its path to your cheek, cradling your face tenderly as you leaned into his touch.

“You are beautiful. And I have to thank you for being there in quiet ways when I wasn’t ready to ask for help.”

“You’re welcome. I hope you know how much we all care about you. I hope you know how much I care about you.”

“I do.”

Slowly pulling away from your cheek, you pouted until Bucky threaded his silver fingers through your rose gold ones as he lifted your right hand. Admiring the delicate craftsmanship and the way it caught the light, he gently turned it so he could press a kiss to your knuckles.

You gasped at the sensation. The holograft, much like a glove, dulled your sense of touch. The feeling of his lips against your hand was overwhelming.  

“This feels…” you breathed unable to find the words.

“Right,” Bucky supplied. “It feels right.”

You nodded, swiping at tears.

“Like it’s the way it’s meant to be. Your hand in mine,” you mused quietly.

Bucky’s answering smile was brilliant as he squeezed your fingers.

“That’s because it is.”

~~~~~~~~ The End 

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this. And @ashhys-lost-in-fanfics-again​ I hope that I did your request justice. Thank you again for the request, I loved writing. Will reblog with Tags 

[girlsgonemildblog]

Who Made You Queen of Anything - The Bachelor, Season 25, Week 2 Recap

Image from abc.com

As I (and everybody else on the planet) predicted, Victoria made herself the center of attention for the entirety of this episode. We begin with Bri getting a one-on-one date, which causes all the other girls to mope about not getting the first one-on-on, Victoria included. One of the other girls who isn’t interesting enough for me to have learned her name yet tries to be friendly and comfort Victoria by saying, “It’s okay. We’re all jealous.”

Victoria then has an absolutely incredible response; “I’m not jealous; I just want what she has.” For anyone not familiar with this word, “wanting what someone else has” is the definition of jealousy. My jaw dropped at this line. And yet, that was somehow not the most shocking thing Victoria did in this episode.

Image from abc.com

Bri’s date was pretty boring; the two ride ATV bikes, and the rest of the girls watch them leave from 10 feet away. I live for this type of awkardness. They have a staged fall in the mud, then Matt chops wood shirtless, for some reason (I am not complaining), and I think there may have been a hot tub, but honestly, I was making myself a sandwich during the day portion of the date. During the night portion, the two bonded over both being raised by single mothers, and Matt gives her the rose. Overall, pretty blah date.

Back at the ranch (i.e., the “chateau” the women are staying in), the drama starts. Victoria, out of nowhere, decides to pick a fight with her roommate, Marylynn, for a reason I cannot figure out. From what I understand, Marylynn told Victoria that she wanted to get to know her better since they were sleeping in the same room. Victoria somehow interpreted this as “bullying” and decides to sleep on a couch in the living room instead of having to share a room with someone so evil as to ask her what she likes to do for fun. Marylynn will come back up later in the episode, so here’s a photo of her for those who may not remember who she is:

Image from abc.com

The next date is a group date of 18 girls. Usually, even at the beginning of the seasons, group dates max out at around a dozen people per date. Immediately, I knew this was going to be intense. The date begins with the girls getting into wedding dresses and taking fake-wedding photos with Matt. While this may seem insane to a bachelor-nation newcomer, this date actually happens every season. Victoria and Matt’s photo is laugh-out-loud funny and makes it abundantly clear that she is a producer plant:

Image from Twitter

While the photo shoot is going on, Chris Harrison emerges to announce the second half to the date; the girls are split into two teams of nine for a Hunger-Games-style round of Capture-The-Flag, and only the winners will go to the night-portion of the date. The producers clearly expected the girls to be a lot more vicious than they were; it was mostly giggling and flailing and over all boring.

Image from abc.com

During the cocktail hour, Lauren bonds with Matt because of the importance of religion in both of their lives. If you watched The Bachelorette last season, you will know that Tayshia broke up with one of her final three because their religious beliefs did not line up, so Matt giving Lauren the rose here seems significant.

Image from abc.com

The third date is another one-on-one with Sarah. The day-portion consists of them flying around in a bi-plane and landing in the middle of the woods. If it weren’t for the camera-crews and producers, Sarah probably would have been terrified she was about to get murdered. During the night portion, She tells Matt about how she quit her job to become a full time caretaker for her dad who is dying of ALS. This is a moving moment, but, as my mom and sister pointed out to me, it is a bit overshadowed by the fact that she is spending a portion the six-months her father has left to live on a reality show. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt and say maybe she is trying to expedite the marriage process so that he can be there for her wedding. That sounds believable, right? Maybe? Anyway, Matt deems her trauma-dump worthy of a rose and she gets to remain for another week.

The next evening at the pre-rose-ceremony cocktail party, shit hits the fan. While having some private time with Marylynn, Matt presents her with orchids because he remembers they are her favorite flower. (Note: it is not common for the bachelor to do things like this.) Marylynn then rejoins the girls who, obviously, ask her where she got the flowers. She politely and humbly explains, and Victoria’s brain breaks. She rushes to go sit down with Matt and tells him that Marylynn is “toxic” and “bullying” her, but does not give any proof (because she has none).

Matt then speaks to Marylynn to clear up the situation, and, I think, realizes that nothing Victoria said makes any sense with Marylynn’s gentle personality. Marylynn is, understandably, upset and then tries to take Victoria aside so they can discuss their issues. Marylynn handles the situation politely and maturely, and Victoria refuses to let Marylynn even sit next to her on the couch. Even in the face of this ridiculousness, Marylynn still manages to stay calm and collected. Marylynn is impressively nice and I will be truly pissed off if she gets sent home because Victoria dragged her into made-up drama. That being said, Marylynn may be too well-adjusted to be on this show.

The rose ceremony starts, but in the middle of it, Sarah faints. The producers take her aside and Matt goes to comfort her and the episode ends on a cliffhanger. The Bachelor does a lot of lame cliffhangers, but this might be the worst. She already has a rose, so they’ll likely let her sit out of the rest of the ceremony and give her a glass of water and we’ll be on our merry way. Still, there are just things that go together; peanut butter and jelly, cookies and milk, The Bachelor producers and manufactured drama.

[renaerys]

PPG One-Shot: “Girlfriend Material.” (Brick/Blossom)

February Fic Prompt #21 - Author’s Choice

For the wonderful @carriedreamerx, a fellow Reds die-hard and all-around A+ lady. Also can be read as kind of a part 2 to an earlier one-shot called Shook.

Summary: Blossom is having a bad day. Brick accidentally makes her feel better.

xxx

The four most dreaded words in the English language haunted Blossom after Julie’s party on Friday. They’d ruined the night, causing her to leave at nine p.m. alone, she didn’t want to drag Bubbles home early just because of her. They’d ruined her weekend plans—movie night with her sisters and Robin, studying at her favorite table at the public library, and Sunday family brunch. Through it all, Blossom was quiet and morose, and no one could get her to talk about why.

Why.

Those four stupid, little words.

They were just words, sticks and stones, as she often would tell Bubbles whenever she got upset about teasing that went too far.

“You’re not girlfriend material.”

Just four words.

xxx

Monday’s alarm went off at six a.m. sharp, and Blossom rose on autopilot to brush her teeth and get ready for school. She was halfway through applying a bit of mascara when she realized Bubbles wasn’t awake, and the Professor hadn’t called up to announce breakfast. And then she remembered.

Fall Break.

Blossom slumped over the sink, heavy and lethargic, the tube of mascara limp in her hand. How could she forget they had a whole week off from classes? Where was her head?

Her reflection was washed out and pale in the morning gloom through the bathroom window, and she looked ridiculous with only one eye made up. Sighing, she hastily did the other one, put the mascara away, and went to get dressed. Bubbles slept like a rock on her stomach even through Blossom’s alarm. The girl could have slept through an earthquake, no doubt. Buttercup, however, shifted in her bed.

“Going somewhere?” she called in a raspy, sleep-addled voice.

Blossom smiled and smoothed her sister’s mussed bangs. Even though there was no longer any visible trace of the many injuries she had sustained fighting Butch on Friday, Buttercup would need a couple more days of rest to get back to her regular shape. The IV drip next to her bed held a bag of Chemical X, nearly drained as it fed her through the night little by little.

“I forgot we’re on break,” Blossom said softly so as not to wake Bubbles.

“You nerd.”

Buttercup’s eyes drooped, but a smile tugged at her chapped lips. Blossom grabbed her half empty glass from the nightstand and refilled it in the bathroom sink.

“Go back to sleep,” Blossom said, leaving the fresh glass of water on the nightstand.

Buttercup turned over in bed and pulled the covers over her head. “Way ahead of you.”

That was that. Blossom floated to the window and quietly unhooked the latch. The Professor was moving around downstairs, but she didn’t much feel like talking to him right now. No doubt he would press her about Friday again, as he’d tried several times this weekend. The sun was rising steadily in the distance, casting the suburbs in a strange, dewy glow.

“Hey,” Buttercup called.

Blossom paused.

“Whatever it is, it can’t hurt you. You’re a badass.”

Blossom bit her trembling lip. It was suddenly hard to breathe. She glanced back at Buttercup, but she was under the covers with her back to her. Even so, Blossom could not bring herself to speak. If she did, she might say too much.

She slipped out of the window, pulled it closed behind her, and flew towards Townsville.

xxx

Logically speaking, the sun rises in the east, days turn to weeks, and nothing lasts forever. Not thunderstorms, not youth, and not even pain.

“You’re not girlfriend material.”

Blossom flew over Townsville waking up. It had rained last night, and the fog was thick over the bay as it battled the encroaching sun. She’d read a short story once about monsters in the mist. Gruesome, Lovecraftian horror, the type she never sought out but couldn’t refuse when it was a recommendation from her English teacher. There were no monsters in the mists shrouding Townsville of course, but she imagined them all the same, lurking voyeurs.

One day, she wouldn’t even remember this morning, this feeling, the quiet so high up insulating her from the city sounds far below, tires screeching and jackhammers crunching and a thousand feet scuttling. Logically speaking, none of it mattered.

But it still hurt.

She wasn’t hungry, and she wasn’t cold. She was rarely cold, being a block of ice herself. The ice queen. An unoriginal and lazy moniker, but one that stuck among her peers. Smart, studious Blossom. Commander and the leader, it’s lonely at the top. Come down from your snowcapped throne now and again to walk among us poor plebeians, why don’t you?

They weren’t all like that. The ones who mattered, mattered. Usually it didn’t bother her anyway. Sticks and stones, as they said, but they also said the pen is mightier than the sword. So which is it?

“You’re not girlfriend material.”

Logically speaking, people told themselves what they needed to hear to make themselves believe everything was fine.

“You’re not girlfriend material.”

Just four paper-thin words.

“You’re not girlfriend material.”

“You’re not girlfriend material.”

“You’re not girlfriend material.”

Just four soul-crushing, little words.

xxx

Logically speaking, there were no monsters in the mist.

xxx

Brick wasn’t sure why he went.

Up at the ass-crack of dawn because his alarm was set to repeat and he’d forgotten to turn it off for the Fall Break week, there was no going back to sleep now that the damage was done. Boomer flung his pillow at Brick’s bed to try to kill that screeching alarm, hit him in the face, and suffered a very hard, very warranted shove off the sofa.

“Dude, what the fuuuuuuck?” Boomer whined from the floor in his boxers.

“What the fuck do you mean, what the fuck?” Brick demanded. “Why are you sleeping on my couch?”

Boomer rubbed his tired eyes. “Butch’s snoring is so loud since he started that X drip and I can’t take it anymore!”

“Not my problem.” Brick went to his closet to pull on a fresh shirt. Fuck, it was cold this morning. He grabbed a hoodie from a hanger.

“Briiiiiick,” Boomer whined. “I’m so tired.”

Jesus fucking Christ.

“I’m going out. You better not be in here when I get back.”

Boomer was already crawling back onto his couch as he left his room to use the bathroom though. Whatever, it was too early to deal with Boomer’s crap. The two-bedroom apartment was claustrophobic this morning, like the walls were closing in on Brick, and he had the immediate urge to get out.

After he cleaned up, threw on his cap, and grabbed his keys, he took off into the early morning sky with no destination in mind as long as it wasn’t home.

Fall Break. What was he supposed to do for an entire week? At least Butch was out of commission paying for the consequences of his hormonal jack-assery. Boomer had his friends to hang with, but he could get clingy when the brothers were confined to home without a schedule. And Brick was pretty sure he remembered Wes saying he was going to be out of town with his folks, so that left Boomer best friend-less for the foreseeable future.

Hence, Brick wasn’t sure why he went to the ruined Shankaplex lot. Only, his head was full of all these useless thoughts and he wasn’t thinking straight and anyway it was hard to miss with that enormous fucking crane they’d brought in to help clear up the remains of the movie theater parking lot Butch and Blossom had completely demolished in their fight.

She was already there.

Her red hair cut through the grey of the broken asphalt and concrete like the sun through the rain-cold fog, but little about Blossom was warm. Brick frowned at the thought. He hadn’t seen her since Julie’s party, and even then only for a few minutes. She’d left really early.

She sat alone on the roof of the neighboring Cooper’s Market watching a team of construction workers in orange vests slowly working to clear the mess of tree trunks forcibly uprooted during the fight. They were scattered like dominoes on the asphalt. Brick’s eyes traveled from the back of Blossom’s head to a particularly deep crater where she’d stood towering over Butch, cowed like Brick had hardly ever seen him before, her eyes red with power as they lifted to meet his.

He barely touched down when she sensed him and turned. Her eyes were red, like before, but not with power.

Blossom hastily wiped her puffy eyes and the few tears wetting her cheeks. “What are you doing here?”

Brick froze where he stood. Every instinct in him told him to flee, get the fuck out of there, her tears were not for him to see. Heart pounding in his ears, he clenched his suddenly clammy fists because he couldn’t think of anything else to do with them. “Nothing,” he said, like a total idiot.

Fuck, she’s fucking crying, what the fuck?

“What are you doing here?” he asked, still in full-on idiot mode.

Oh thank god, she’d turned away. He couldn’t see her crying anymore, but that little sniffle sent a chilling pang down his spine that was almost painful. He suppressed a growl at the sensation.

“My alarm woke me up,” she said glumly. “I forgot to turn it off for the week.”

Brick stood petrified behind her, and it was a wonder that she couldn’t hear his heart hammering loud enough to give him a headache. Her banal words were a lifeline he clung to through the noise, and he swallowed hard.

“Me too,” he said. “Habit.”

She nodded, as if the effort to respond was too great, and it was the respite he needed to calm the fuck down. He considered just leaving, but she’d acknowledged him, and leaving now would look like running. Brick didn’t run, especially not from her.

Feet leaden, he shuffled to the edge of the roof and sank down a respectable arm’s length away from her. She said nothing, and their legs dangled over the edge overlooking the red and white striped awning. A big, neon sign advertising the grocery store buzzed and glowed yellow at the other end of the roof. Brick took off his hat, ran his fingers through his hair, and put it back on. Still, she said nothing, so he glanced at her.

She was in jeans and a plain, white tank top, no frills and not even her usual pearl studs she always wore. Her hair was long and loose, draping her shoulders. Brick shivered just looking at her. Wasn’t she cold?

“How’s Butch?” she asked.

It took Brick a moment to comprehend her question. She was looking right at him. Despite a little residual puffiness, her eyes were dry as a bone.

“Sleeping it off,” Brick said.

She nodded and went back to watching the construction workers.

Brick racked his brain for something to say to her. “It’s actually kind of nice having him out of commission. Everything’s quieter.”

She hugged one knee to her chest and shrank in on herself, and he bit his tongue.

Great.

He’d never had a problem talking to Blossom before. She was just Blossom, the uptight, annoying, micromanager he had to put up with in all his classes and at some social functions where their friend circles overlapped. She was just always there, always shrewd, always ready to shut him down if he so much as breathed at her funny. But this was like pulling teeth. What had changed?

Well, he knew exactly what had changed. Right there in that crater, in fact. He could picture it so clearly, could hear the pride in her voice as she exuded her total and absolute control like she’d been born to do it, and he’d never quite noticed before. How had he never noticed before? She was always right there.

“Can I ask you something?” She tugged on her hair. Nervous habit.

Why is she nervous?

Brick dug his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Am I girlfriend material?”

He stared, waiting for her to crack, but Blossom never cracked.

Oh.

She was serious.

“Girlfriend material?” he repeated. It took every ounce of his incredible self-control to keep his voice neutral as he studied her impassive face.

“Girlfriend material,” she confirmed.

And damn, could she be cold when she wanted to be. Not even her tears could shake her now as she watched him, waiting on his answer like they were at war and it was go or get out of the way.

“To a specific person?”

“Objectively speaking.”

“That’s not an objective question.”

“Sure it is.”

He frowned. “No, it’s not.”

“Western beauty standards would suggest otherwise.”

“So you want to know if you’re hot?”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“But it’s the standard you’re basing your question on.”

She wrung her fingers in her hair. “I guess it’s related. But that’s entirely my point. There are certain traits or standards that inform what makes someone girlfriend material.”

“Objectively speaking.”

She nodded. “Yes.”

Brick considered her. She was nervous, fucking crying when he’d found her. It didn’t take a genius to deduce what had probably happened, even though he was, in fact, a genius and she was completely transparent right now, besides.

Is she messing with me?

If she was, the crying was some Olympic level acting he’d never known her capable of. Blossom was many things, but she wasn’t duplicitous.

How was this nervous, self-conscious girl the same one who had completely dominated Butch in a fight and loved every minute of being seen doing it?

Brick cleared his very dry throat and sat cross-legged to face her. “You mentioned traits and standards. What are the others?”

“Others?”

“That make someone girlfriend material. We already established that number one, she has to be hot.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t say super model hot, but probably conventionally attractive.”

He waved her off. “Fine, whatever. Next?”

Blossom thought about that. “Well, I guess she should be nice.”

“Fine, but she can’t be boring.”

“Being nice doesn’t mean you’re boring.”

“It does if that’s all you are.”

“Of course that’s not all I am.”

Brick snorted. “No, you’re a hell of a lot more than that.”

Blossom narrowed her eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. She should be smart.”

Blossom looked like she wanted to press him, but she refrained. “I agree. Intelligence is attractive.”

“But not too smart.”

“Excuse me?”

“And social, but not annoying about it. She should be able to keep up and complement you in any situation, but not overshadow or steal the spotlight.”

Blossom flushed in anger. “You realize how incredibly misogynistic that is, don’t you?”

Brick shrugged. “You said objectively speaking.”

“Oh, and you think all guys want is a party girl with above average looks and below average brains to stroke their egos?”

“No, I think your premise itself is flawed and I was proving my point. There’s no such thing as the objectively perfect girlfriend. That’s bullshit, and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot.” He watched her avert her gaze like a timid little bird. “Anyone who tries to meet such a bullshit standard is also an idiot.”

That got her attention, and she turned angry, pink eyes on him. “I’m the last person on the planet you should be calling an idiot.”

“I was speaking objectively,” he sneered.

Okay, that was petty, he could admit that to himself. But it was worth it to see the indignation on her pretty face. She got up in a blaze of pink. He was not far behind.

“This was a mistake. I don’t even know why I’m talking to you of all people.” She began to walk away.

He followed. “That makes two of us.”

The sun was up now, and more construction workers had shown up to operate the crane. Even up on the roof, it was beginning to get a little noisy for anyone with sensitive Super hearing.

Nonetheless, they remained on the roof.

xxx

Conceited jerk, Blossom fumed on the other side of the roof with her arms crossed. Why do I even bother?

The conceited jerk didn’t know how to take a hint.

“You’re not actually upset,” Brick said.

Blossom glared back at him. “You don’t get to tell me how I feel.”

“Why?”

“Why don’t you get to dictate my feelings?”

“No, obviously. I meant why are you upset?”

Her lip trembled, but she bit down on it hard enough to hurt. No way was she going to cry in front of him again. Bad enough that he’d surprised her. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Pretend like you care.”

Red sparks crackled on his skin. Blossom felt the sudden push of his choleric power like a punch to the gut, but she held her ground. It was over so fast that it left her breathless.

He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. “This is so fucking stupid.”

For once, Blossom was inclined to agree with him.

“Who was it?” he asked.

“I’m sorry?”

“At Julie’s party. Whoever told you that you’re not girlfriend material. Who was it?”

Blossom shook her head, stunned. “That’s not… You weren’t even there—”

“You ran outta there like the place was on fire right after I got there,” he interrupted her. “So who was it?”

Blossom continued to stare at him. Angry Brick she could handle. Smarmy, arrogant, crass Brick she was used to brushing aside, loudly challenging, or ignoring completely depending on the mood. But this—no, not concerned, certainly not, more like curious Brick—was a subtle beast.

“Does it matter?” she asked.

“Just tell me.”

Without Blossom realizing how or when, something had shifted between them. She had never been afraid of Brick, not even when they were kids and literally trying to destroy each other to no avail, and she wasn’t afraid now. But something in his countenance, in the casual way he rested his hands in his hoodie pockets, the power to crush mountains kept at bay with frightening ease, gave her pause.

Logically speaking, there are no monsters in the mist.

None that could hurt her, anyway.

“Just…some girls,” Blossom said in a voice she hardly recognized. “Just some mean girls.”

Just four little words that hit like bullets.

“Uh-huh,” he said.

Blossom could not begin to understand why, but standing there on the roof with him as the construction workers hammered away below, she was struck with an overwhelming sadness as bleak as the fog that settled in the streets. If he were anyone else, his pity would have shamed her. But Brick had never once pitied her.

“I don’t get it,” she said. She was bullet proof. She’d faced monsters and demons and nightmares alike. Buttercup may be the toughest, and Bubbles may be light in the darkness, but Blossom was always in control, and control was power. It was everything. She could even face Brick’s chaotic brother on a Chemical X bender, and it felt good. She’d felt good. But this, these four damning words, hit her where she was weakest and most vulnerable, and she just couldn’t help it.

For all her power and control, she was just a seventeen-year-old girl who wanted to fit in.

She hugged herself close, wishing someone else would. “I don’t get it all.”

“I know.”

Blossom looked up. She’d forgotten Brick was even still there, but there he remained, stock still and staring off into the distance, his jaw set.

“You…”

“I mean, I get it,” he snapped. He scowled, but not at her.

Bewildered, Blossom could only stare as Brick became even more uncomfortable than she was. And then, it hit her.

“Are you trying to make me feel better?”

“I’m just saying.”

She stepped closer, unsure if she was hallucinating. “Why?”

He took off his cap and roughly carded his fingers through his short hair. “Because it’s fucking stupid. Not you, but you being so upset. Not like that—” he preempted her protest that never came, “—just that they could make you feel so shitty when you’re so…” He gestured to her.

“So what?”

His face flushed in anger. “You know, you.”

Blossom frowned. “I don’t understand—”

“You’re you. Class president, smart as fuck, you know, future Time Person of the Year type of shit—”

“That’s not—”

“—so beautiful and you know it. Hey, don’t make that innocent face. You’ve always known you’re gorgeous, you’re just too busy being nice to the morons in this city who couldn’t tie their goddamned shoes without whining for help to make a big deal out of it—”

Blossom matched his flush. “Just because people need my help sometimes doesn’t make them morons—”

“—and it just pisses me the fuck off because you’re this force of nature who can make my psychotic brother eat a dick one minute—”

“Oh my god—”

“—but then you fall apart because of what a bunch of obnoxious high school girls say to you drunk at a party? Jesus fucking Christ, Blossom.”

Blossom was so livid that she didn’t hesitate even a second to get in his face. “Don’t speak to me like that.”

Brick leaned down so close their noses nearly touched. “Like what?”

“Like you’re so above it all when you just admitted to me that you’re not.” Pink sparks materialized upon her skin as her temper flared to match his. How dare he try to play her for a fool? He of all people knew better.

Brick’s fingers on her cheek were the last thing she expected, and she recoiled with a gasp. Her power danced between his fingers, caught and mingling with his, and he made a slow fist one finger at a time. Blossom watched, mesmerized and unable to fathom why, but her eyes were blown wide and her lips parted.

Brick’s gaze flickered from his fist back to her, and she bit her lip. He had never looked at her like that before, except…

Except when she shoved Butch into the ground, exhausted and sore, and found Brick watching her like she was all that was worth looking at in this world. Shock and awe, she’d chalked it up to surprise at her actually beating Butch. Of course he’d underestimate her just like his brother, like everyone else. But no, that wasn’t right. This close to him, that heated look was unmistakable now.  

The moment passed like the sun dipping behind a cloud, and he pulled back. He slipped his hand back into his hoodie pocket and smiled in that subtle, diabolical way he’d perfected years ago. “Much better.”

Blossom swallowed hard. Had she… Had she imagined it?

She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but her stomach growled, excruciatingly loud to her Super hearing and his.

Brick burst out laughing.

Mortified, Blossom blanched and covered her mouth and wished she could just disappear. “Oh my god,” she groaned. “I’m leaving.”

And she would have flown right out of there if he hadn’t grabbed her wrist. Still grinning, he tugged her back. “No, don’t leave.”

Blossom squeezed her eyes shut and wondered why the universe hated her so much. “We’re really done here.”

“Then let’s go somewhere else.”

The initial embarrassment faded, and she was left to wonder at his very odd choice of words. “What?”

“There’s a 1950s style diner I like a few blocks from here. I skipped breakfast too.”

He wasn’t laughing at her anymore as he waited on her acquiescence.

His hand was fire around her wrist. For the first time that morning, she started to feel the chill.

“All right,” she said.

“All right.” He let her go and began to float. “This way.”

Logically speaking, the sun rises in the east, days turn to weeks, and nothing lasts forever. Not thunderstorms, not youth, and not even pain.

Especially not pain.

Blossom sipped on the best vanilla milkshake she’d ever tasted as Brick rattled off dish after dish to the flabbergasted waitress who could not be blamed for not knowing the curse of Chemical X-induced inhumanly high metabolism.

“Hey, Brick?”

Brick looked up from their feast of eggs and bacon and pancakes. “What?”

Logically speaking, he’d only called her gorgeous and smart and amazing because she was those things, objectively. But there was no such thing as the objectively perfect girlfriend.

She smiled. “Thank you.”

He flushed and played it off like it meant nothing. “Yeah, you’re welcome.”

Logically speaking, nothing lasts forever, but they took their time anyway. What was the rush?

[mintypineapple]

dw ask game 1-36 and 38-100 DON'T ANSWER NUMBER 37 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT CRYING

DaThanks, anon who is probably @truestoriesaboutme!

CHILDHOOD

1. Did you like DW as a child?

Depends. What do you consider a child? I saw Doctor Who for the first time when I was 16 or 17. Does that count? Let’s say that it does. I did enjoy it.

2. Your age at the time of the revival?

16.

3. First DW episode you ever saw?

An Unearthly Child. I wanted to watch it all in order! Still do! My first New Who episode was “Blink,” as forced upon me by @raisegrate. I did enjoy it.

4. Did you have any of the toys?

I didn’t at the time, but I do now. I have a couple of screwdrivers, a Fourth Doctor, an Ice Warrior, and not-quite-Legos of Doctors 1-11. (-WD)

5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?

N/A.

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?

N/A. Nothing scares me.

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?

N/A. I get all jokes/stories.

8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?

That the only way to watch it was from the very beginning. I eventually gave in and watched New Who before finishing Classic Who.

9. Who introduced you to DW?

Pretty sure I heard about it initially on a forum I went to called The Douglas Adams Continuum. That’s when I started watching the First Doctor. Again, @raisegrate showed me my first New Who. Eventually, I started watching New Who in its entirety with @catastrofries and they started watching Classic Who with me for @rassilonwatchathon.

10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?

Didn’t even know it existed as a child. But I liked it as an adult.

Read more under the cut. There’s a lot!

DOCTOR

11. Who is your Doctor?

One. He’s the first I saw and I’ve went through some of his more than once, due to the podcast, so he has a special place in my heart.

12. Your favourite Doctor?

It varies depending on the day. I quite like Two, Eleven, and Twelve, though.

13. Least favourite Doctor?

Possibly 5 or 13? More because they don’t get a whole lot to do, than them being bad.

14. Best regeneration?

Technically speaking, there’s something about that first one that is still so good. Emotionally speaking, Two’s regeneration is terrifying and I quite like Twelve’s speech before regenerating.

15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?

Yeah! They’re all pretty good! Even “Love and Monsters!” Yeah, I said it! (The end is bad, but the rest is good.)

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

One calls himself human a handful of times. Does that count? If not, definitely Five. He seems the most like a regular guy in a weird situation out of all of them.

17. Best multi-Doctor story?

The Day of the Doctor, for sure.

18. Best Doctor monologue?

Eleven’s speech to young Amy in “The Big Bang.” That episode is just solid all around.

19. What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?

He’s definitely fucked off somewhere and abandoned Rose. He runs a cat cafe that is definitely a front for something, but no one can quite figure out what.

20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?

One/Barbara, Two/Jamie, Three/Jo, Four/Leela, Five/Tegan, (haven’t seen enough of Six, any of Seven, and I honestly don’t remember the companion for Eight), Nine/Rose (that’s the only option!), Ten/Donna, Eleven/Amy-Rory, Twelve/Clara, Ruth/Thirteen.

COMPANIONS

21. Favourite companion?

Classic Who: This is hard. Jamie? Sarah Jane? Leela? New Who: Donna Noble.

22. Favourite secondary companion?

Not sure what this means exactly... My second favorite? If so, I gave three for favorite Classic Who, so one of them. New Who: Rory.

23. Least favourite companion?

Classic: Ben Jackson or Peri. New: Ryan.

24. Best TARDIS Team?

Classic: Two, Jamie, and Zoe. New: Eleven, Amy, and Rory.

25. Most underrated companion?

I love Steven Taylor. I feel like he doesn’t get mentioned enough.

26. Most overrated companion?

Probably gonna get some hate for this, but Romana II. She’s good and I like her, but I was expecting a lot more. I honestly prefer Romana I.

27. Favourite companion’s family?

I love Rory’s dad.

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?

Kamelion. AM I RIGHT? But seriously, Amelia Rumford from “The Stones of Blood.”

29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?

Amy/Rory.

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?

I hated Tegan when she first came on, but now I love her.

EPISODES

31. Favourite episode ever?

“Heaven Sent.”

32. Least favourite episode?

“Time-Flight” gave me a literal headache.

33. Which episodes do you skip?

NONE. Of course, I’ve not done any rewatches. YET.

34. Best two-parter?

“The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances” are the first New Who episodes that fully sold me on the show.

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

Give me the future and make it weird!

36. Episode that will always make you smile?

“The Myth Makers.”

37 HAS BEEN REDACTED.

38. Best run of episodes?

“Vincent and the Doctor” through “Day of the Moon” is pretty solid.

39. Best cliffhanger?

“Vengeance on Varos.” Hands fucking down.

40. Favourite Christmas special?

The answer to question 37. “A Christmas Carol.”

SERIES

41. Classic Who or New Who?

Yes please! (Though New Who will take this a little just because the pace is generally a lot better.)

42. Favourite series?

I’m not sure about Classic (I have a harder time thinking of them as different series), but New is definitely 5.

43. Least favourite series?

11.

44. Which series do you skip?

See 33.

45. Favourite series opening?

“The Eleventh Hour.” It’s just a lot of fun.

46. Favourite series finale?

“The Big Bang.” IT’S A GOOD SERIES.

47. Best series arc?

So I don’t sound repetitive and say Series 5 again, Clara’s arc in her last season is great.

48. Thoughts on series 11/12?

I find it largely boring and not well-written. Though there are some things I like! I love Ruth a bunch.

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?

I’ve seen from “An Unearthly Child” to “The Two Doctors.” And the movie.

50. Who should have had another series?

Doctor: Nine. Or Eight. Or Ruth. Companion: Kamelion, but done better.

MONSTERS

51. Favourite monster/villain?

I love them Fuzzy Chicken Nuggets. (The Yeti.)

52. Most creative monster?

The Silence are an interesting concept.

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

OAK AND QUILL from “Fury From the Deep.” Fuck those guys.

54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?

I hate power level questions. Next.

55. Least favourite monster/villain?

I get really tired of the Daleks sometimes, y’all.

56. Monster you want to return?

Chumblies or quarks.

57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?

The writing. You can do great things with most of them. Even the ones you dislike. Like, I hate the farting aliens, but they are occasionally used well.

58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?

If I had to pick, I’d say... Cybermen. Daleks are very samey and loud. Weeping Angels get less interesting every time they are used. But there’s a human element to the Cybermen that, when utilized, can be very effective and unsettling.

59. Best Dalek story?

The one where Two rides around on ones he made nice.

60. Best one time villain/monster?

I don’t know what it is, but whatever it is in “Midnight.”

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?

SJA is more consistent, but the highs of Torchwood are higher.

62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?

Owen. But like... not season one Owen.

63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?

See 62.

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

I haven’t rewatched anything yet. But I would rewatch COE before MD.

65. Favourite SJA Team member?

Clyde.

66. Mr Smith or K-9?

Mr. Smith is way more interesting. He had a villain arc!

67. Maria or Rani?

Rani.

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?

Some. I’m doing them as Patreon bonus episodes for @rassilonwatchathon​. I haven’t done much though.

69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?

“The Chimes of Midnight.” I’ve listened to it twice.

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?

I do DW analysis for @rassilonwatchathon AND The Dipp. So yes. My fave is TARDIS Eruditorum, though.

I’LL ANSWER THE REST AT A LATER TIME. I MUST BE WITH MY PEOPLE NOW.

[joonluvv]

soulmates?

summary: crushes were always hard to understand, friends were much easier. you were a professional in making them, you had 8 best friends! but you wondered, would a significant other make you happier?

pairing: ot8! stray kids x reader, gender neutral! crush x reader

genre: angst / fluff / mixtape: on track! au 

word count: 6.5k

warnings: manipulation, fighting, little bit of cuts but not at all graphic, rejection

a/n: c/n = crush’s name, f/c = favorite color, f/f = favorite flavor of ice cream, and this gives me wattpad vibes. you can think of the friendship as platonic or maybe more, it’s up to you. this was inspired by mixtape: on track so it’ll be cute to listen to it while you read :)

School was either your heaven or your hell. There wasn’t an in between. And it’s not like for nerds it was heaven or for ‘dumber’ people it was hell. It was more complex than that, kids are more complex than that. But anyways, enough of you being philosophical and trying to prove to your teachers that people your age could be mature and kids.

You often felt like it was hell. The hard tests, the strict teachers, the competitive nature of your peers, the long nights of studying, the usual. It didn’t seem to end either, it felt like years before you could go on summer break. No pressures, just living life. But even then, it could get lonely. If you couldn’t make connections fast you were often outcast. You were scared you’d be like that. An outcast. All alone.

But you weren’t. Especially not with your friends by your side.

“Hey Y/N! What’s taking you forever?” A voice from further away whined out.

You turned your head to look away from the parking lot, up the steps in front of you, to where all your friends were waiting for you. You smiled and ran up the staircase to where they were standing. Your backpack bounced around while you were moving and you were sure that any spare papers were getting crumpled. You came to stop right in front of the person that called you.

“Sorry Felix, just thinking.” You apologized and held the straps of your backpack to ease some weight of your shoulders.

“No thoughts, head empty.” Jisung whispered from where he was standing next to Changbin and Seungmin.

You whipped your head in shock to his outburst, but you weren’t that surprised. It was Jisung, you expected no less. But it was early in the morning and you may or may not have stayed up late.

Changbin just sighed while Seungmin started hitting Jisung on the shoulder for quoting a meme. You snorted and couldn’t stop laughing at the interaction. You were really blessed to have such wonderful friends.

Out of nowhere, you felt more weight on your shoulder. Minho had come up from behind you and was resting his head on your shoulder.

You looked to the side to see his smirking face and furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. He just chuckled and shrugged his shoulders before Hyunjin came up behind Minho and did the same thing to him. Hyunjin rested his head on Minho’s shoulder and smiled and started to blink his eyes unnecessarily. You were really confused at this point and didn’t understand what was happening.

“Of course your thoughts aren’t empty, Y/N. You’re probably still daydreaming about C/N!” Chan giggled out from next to Felix while your cheeks blushed.

You tried to stutter out a reply but couldn’t even form any words. You tried hitting Chan on the shoulder but you couldn’t move. Minho’s hands were still holding onto your shoulders tightly. You tried to shake them off but couldn’t.

You looked back at your friend, “Uh, Minho? You good?” you asked confused why he was still smirking and not letting you go.

“Well, Hyunjin and I were talking—“

“—Is that why I heard screaming?”

“Shut up Jeongin!”

“Ugh, as I was saying before Hyunjin—“

“Excuse you! I was trying to help!”

“OKAY, okay, whatever. ANYWAYS! We were thinking that today is the perfect day for you to confess!” Minho finished after Jeongin and Hyunjin interrupted him.

“C-confess? Today?!” You squeaked out

“Yeah, why not?” Felix said, shrugging his shoulders.

“I guess. But seriously, why today? Is today someday special?” You questioned.

“Nope, but it’s a normal day. So it’ll be fine!” Seungmin answered from behind you.

You blinked a few times in hesitation and kept opening your mouth without saying anything.

Minho patted your shoulders and let go before saying, “Well, it’s decided! Today’s the day Y/N’s gonna confess to C/N!”

The others cheered you on while you stood there in bewilderment, thinking how you could’ve gotten such chaotic friends. The eight of them talked amongst each other while you started to panic. You had to confess, today. Confessions are no easy feat, and rejections are even worse. You thought that C/N might like you back. They were a pretty nice person and didn’t seem to be mean. They were always nice to you.

The bell rang and the nine of you split up to your respective classes. For the first few classes, you had them with two or three of your friends while the last class was with C/N.

Alone with C/N.

You gulped, already regretting everything. You regretted telling the guys about your crush the most.

_______________________________________________________________________

The last school bell rang, signaling the end of lunch and the start of the last class of the day. You said your byes to all the boys and accepted their good lucks. Minho and Hyunjin decided to walk with you to class since they had soccer practice. They could be late, they were the co-assistant captains of the team. Chan was the captain and was too indecisive to pick between the two, plus he had a soft spot for the both of them.

You talked with the two of them on either side of you. You asked them about their upcoming game but neither were excited, it was a strong team from a really competitive school. You knew they’d be fine, they practiced and played hard.

“Well, this is it. My last class, the last time I’ll see you guys. Ever. Again.” You complained dramatically.

The two boys rolled their eyes and sighed at your theatrics. They knew you were only joking around because you were extremely scared. The three of you had been best friends the longest so you could read each other very easily.

The guys didn’t blame you for trying to deviate the attention and make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. It was inevitable, being rejected by your crush would be painful and they didn’t want that for you.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. I’ve talked to C/N before, I’m pretty sure they like you!” Hyunjin reassured trying to calm you down.

“Yeah, the amount of times they’ve said you were cute made me gag.” Minho groaned, fake throwing up to show how repulsed he was.

Hyunjin was one of the softest friends you’d ever meet and he always took care in his words. He wanted to comfort you and cheer you on, just like you would with him. Minho has a soft heart too but it was often hidden. He liked teasing instead of comforting and it was helpful in its own way.

You thanked Hyunjin and hit Minho on the shoulder, reprimanding him for the gesture. You thought it was sweet! C/N must definitely like you, the boys were right.

You’d be fine.

“Okay, well I gotta go. You guys should too! Chan can only excuse your lateness so many times.” You said, while waving goodbye and waking into class.

The boys looked at you while you headed into class. Once inside, the looked at each other and started walking to the field while talking.

“They better not break her heart.” Hyunjin spit out of the blue, very unlike him since he wasn’t usually this angry.

Minho wasn’t fazed though, it was you. The both of them treasured you and their friendship with you above most things so when you were going to confess, they were worried. You were a precious part of their lives since the day they met you in elementary school as little kids on the playground. You had brought the two of them together, two extremely introverted boys whose parents hated each other.

But somehow, you had made them open up and that’s how they met the rest of Stray Kids. You had moved during elementary school and they had only met you again now in high school. Minho and Hyunjin had introduced you to the rest of the group and the rest was history. You eight were stuck at the hip.

Minho sighed, “Agreed,” He fidgeted with his straps and looked out the windows in the hallway. The park on the other side of the school reminded him of all the wonderful times you had and he wished he could go back to when the three of you were little kids.

He finally decided to change the subject by asking, “Do you wanna race to the field?”

Hyunjin stopped, and Minho stopped in reaction. Hyunjin rose his eyebrows at his best friend to challenge him. Minho scoffed and rolled his eyes, a playful smirk on his lips. The boys didn’t need to talk further to know what the other was thinking.

In a matter of seconds, the boys were sprinting towards the field while the bell rang in the background.

_______________________________________________________________________

You walked to the last row, by the window. Since your class was on the second level, you could look out the window and see the entire schoolyard. It was your favorite seat and you were so thankful that you had picked it on the first day. Your desk partner was C/N, that was how you met them. They were always asking how your day was going or just genuinely interested in what you had to say.

You arrived to your seat and sat down while putting your backpack on the back of your seat. You removed your class items from your bag and placed them out on your desk. You looked to the notebook on your desk and hissed at the way the papers were crumpled from that morning.

“Well, I didn’t take you for the type to ruin their notebook.” A voice said to you, making you look up to the speaker.

It was C/N. They were looking at you with a small grin on their face and one of their eyebrows raised in question. They were keeping their hands in their pockets and their backpack hung on one shoulder.

Your cheeks flushed pink and you looked down to try and hide the fact that you liked them so much. You took the notebook into your hands and tried to flatten it out without any luck. You signed loudly while C/N looked at your hands.

Their smile dropped and they rolled their eyes at your efforts before smirking.

They walked up behind you and placed their hands over yours and tried to flatten it again. Your heartbeat picked up and you stared up at your crush. They looked so pretty while trying to help you out. You looked to their soft lips and your cheeks heat up even more. You couldn’t take it anymore so you looked out the window next to you while C/N kept trying to help you.

You were trying to not feel their hands on yours and looking for something outside to distract yourself. Your eyes kept shifting between things outside until you saw the soccer field. Right in the middle stood Chan, Hyunjin, and Minho in their soccer uniforms. They were all smirking and laughing, while the rest of the team were confused at their actions. Undoubtedly, they had been watching your interactions with your crush.

You glared at them and were going to yell at them to stop until a loud voice from the front of the classroom voiced that class was starting. C/N let go of your hands and they instantly felt cold. They pushed out their chair and sat down next to you. They didn’t look at you while you stared at their side profile.

You quickly realized that you must have looked like a creep and stopped. You tried not to think about how close C/N’s hand was to yours on the desk or how the three boys outside were watching this entire situation fold out.

Throughout the lesson, C/N would brush their hand over yours and you would feel your face get hot. They never looked at you when they did, and they also seemed annoyed today but it was probably since this class always felt the longest.

The class dragged on for another hour and a half before it almost came to the time you would be let out. You started packing up your belongings while C/N did the same next to you. You looked out the window and saw that the boys were walking back to the school building with their equipment. For a split second, you looked at Hyunjin who  coincidentally looked up too.

Hyunjin made eye contact with you and flashed you a smile. Minho saw the smile on his friend’s face and looked up to see your figure waving at the boys. He bumped Chan’s shoulder to make him look up as well. Chan and Minho looked up again to see your smiling figure and both mouthed ‘good lucks’ while Hyunjin gave a thumbs-up.

You smiled at their gestures and did a small and shaky thumbs-up before looking back at the front of the class. Your teacher was wiping down the board when she looked up to the clock. She told us that we could leave on the bell today and left the room. The class started talking amongst themselves while you and C/N stayed quiet.

You tapped C/N’s hand for their attention, and they turned their head to face yours. You were looking right ahead because you knew that you wouldn’t be able to look at them without blushing again.

“C-could you wait after class? I need to tell you something.” You stuttered out while your cheeks were warm.

C/N didn’t say anything but they nodded. They looked back at the other classmates before getting into a conversation with other few people. You were too occupied of thinking of how the next hour would play out and kept rehearsing what you would say to see what C/N was doing.

You were scared out of your mind, thoughts about their rejection all over the place. You hoped that they liked you and if they didn’t, at least they would be kind about it. C/N had been nothing but kind to you but it seemed like today was their off-day. But you were already committed to today and you weren’t going to go back on it.

The school bell rang and the other students quickly rushed out the room. Some people were slower than others, trying to wait for C/N, but eventually left when they waved their hand.

At long last, you and C/N were the only two in the room. You stayed rooted to your seat and were fidgeting with your hands. C/N grabbed your hands and looked to you.

You looked back up to them and blushed again. Gathering all your strength, you calmed down and decided to start.

“Okay, well you’re probably confused on what I want to tell you, right?” You asked hesitantly, and C/N nodded.

“Let’s go to the front of the room.”

Before you could continue, they made you stand up with them, and the both of you walked to the front of the class while your back faced the door.

You started clutching onto your backpack straps and rocking on your heels in nervousness.

You sighed and started to speak with blushing cheeks, “O-okay, well. I l-like you. A l-lot. And I’ve had a crush on you for a while, I’m s-sure you know that though. I’m pretty obvious. Um, y-you’re really kind and s-sweet and I-“

C/N started to laugh. At first it was small and barely there until it became full blown snorts and wheezing. To rid of the awkwardness, you started to chuckle too but not knowing what for.

C/N kept laughing for a few more seconds until they forcefully stopped themselves.

“Oh wow, this is just too good. I knew you were easy, but confessing in two months? Dang, I must be good.” They said arrogantly and wiping their eyes as if they had tears from laughing so hard.

Your smile dropped. Your eyes widened and you stood in shock. You couldn’t believe your ears.

Did C/N really say that?

You were shocked that your crush had just called you easy, it was insulting.

They looked at your confused expression and calmed down. With a cocky attitude and a smirking face, they answered your silent question.

“You see, Y/N. I never liked you, at all. Not even one bit. But, a friend of mine said that she’d give me 20 dollars if I could make you fall for me.”

Tears sprung from your eyes while you tried to hold them back. Your fist clenched and your nails dug into palms. You were shaking and you couldn’t even look up to face them.

“I would say I’m sorry but honestly, it was entertaining. Seeing you shy because of things I did, I couldn’t believe it! I couldn’t believe that the girl that’s friends with the famous Stray Kids was so easy—“

“S-shut up! Stop it, C/N.” You whimpered out while you kept wiping the endless tears from your eyes.

Your heart was broken when the person you liked so much had said you were easy. It was disgusting to even think about. But you wouldn’t let them put down you anymore. You knew your worth, you had finally found yourself after the help of your eight best friends. You promised them you would be strong and defend yourself. No matter how much you had liked C/N, you wouldn’t let them be mean anymore.

“I-I don’t care anymore, o-okay? I don’t care about you, so just drop it!”

C/N snorted and shrugged. They looked behind you and their eyes lit up with amusement. They looked back at your shaking figure and scoffed.

“You don’t care about me? Fine, keep lying to yourself. I know how hard you fell for me. But that might have been a lie, judging by how sweet you are to your precious Stray Kids. But anyways, I have other people that are way more interesting than you. So leave.”

You gathered your last bit of courage and self-respect and stormed out of the room. You kept your head down when you opened the door because you knew who was outside. The girls that had bullied you last year, the ones C/N kept hanging out with. You should have known they were trouble when you saw them talking, or probably flirting, with everyone at school.

You had finally dealt with them a couple of months ago by yourself and they had gotten suspended for starting a fight afterwards. They rolled their eyes when they saw you crying but didn’t say a word, they wouldn’t risk getting suspended again. After turning the hall, you ran down the stairs and out of the school, not really looking where you were going.

_______________________________________________________________________

At the front of the school, the boys were all waiting for you, they had heard from Chan, Hyunjin, and Minho that you were confessing.

They were pretty excited that their best friend would now be dating someone. You had always wanted to go on cute dates and have a valentine and such. The boys couldn’t really help with that but they tried to make their hangouts at cute places they knew you would like.

They had even made last year’s Valentine’s day special. All the boys had pitched in and bought you cute ‘heart shaker’ keychain. It was a F/C-colored resin heart that had jewels inside which made a noise when it shook and you had instantly clipped it on your backpack to always cherish the day.

Jeongin heard that noise when you came down the steps from where your class was. He smirked and straightened out his uniform before turning around and away from Chan who he had been talking to.

He smiled, put his hands on his hips and asked, “So, how’d it—“

Your backpack bumped into his shoulder while you ran and Jeongin stumbled back in shock. The other boys were confused on what happened but you keep walking faster away from them. Your head was down and the boys didn’t know why you were acting like this.

Jisung ran up to you and hugged you from behind as it was the only way to stop you from running away from the boys.

The boys moved around you while you had your head down. They started asking questions of what happened and why you were running before Jisung yelled at them to stay quiet.

He could feel you shaking when he first hugged you and it became worse with all the commotion. He knew how suffocating it could be to be around so many people at once. He knew that being quiet would help, but you still weren’t answering any of their questions.

They waited a few moments until they heard your sniffles and whimpers. They all got worried and some started to get frustrated.

Who hurt their Y/N?

Jisung carefully moved his arms to your shoulders and slowly turned your body to face his. He lifted your head up and all of their hearts broke to see the tear stains on your cheeks.

He gently wiped the oncoming tears and asked, “Hey, hey, what happened?”

You couldn’t answer in clear words and broke into louder sobs into your hands. Jisung comforted you by bringing you into his chest, and awkwardly patting your back.

Minho and Hyunjin were obviously fuming. They didn’t know what happened but they knew whoever made you cry would pay. They wouldn’t let whoever hurt you get away so easily, even if it suspended them again like when they defended you against those bullies. They hadn’t told you, wanting you to think you were strong enough to defeat them, which you were! But they still had taught them a lesson.

Chan and Seungmin, usually the calmer ones in the group started talking about how they would get back at whoever did this to you. They tried talking about telling adults, but decided against that.

Felix and Jeongin where hesitant to add their advice to the conversation but started talking about how they could tell C/N to get their help.

From this statement, your body went stiff and your cries increased.

The boys were talking about C/N as if they were a good person and you realized that they still thought of them as one. You were scared that they would think of them as a good person even after everything that had happened. You knew they weren’t but it scared you that your best friends might not believe you.

While Jisung was comforting you, Changbin realized that there wasn’t much that they could do. None of them were really good at comforting people, usually that was your job when someone got hurt. He saw you go stiff and your cries get worse when the boys were talking about C/N and realized that something was wrong.

He made eye contact with Jisung who was a little nervous, as he didn’t really know what he was doing, and Changbin opened his arms slightly.

Jisung slowly let go of his hold on you and whispered into your ear that Changbin wanted to hug you. You nodded your head, and you wiped your eyes with your sweatshirt cuffs and the other boys stopped their conversation.

You slowly walked towards Changbin’s arms and fell onto his chest. Changbin held you softly and started to rub your back in comfort. Your head was on his shoulder and your eyes were closed. The tear stains on your cheeks weren’t going away but your sniffles were getting less and you seemed better.

As the other boys looked at your state, they grew disheartened. How would you come back from this? You seemed so lost and hurt that it was breaking their hearts piece by piece.

You slowly lifted your head from Changbin’s shoulder and looked up at him before looking at the others. You sniffed once more and patted your sweater cuffs to your face to get rid of any tear marks or drool.

“I-I’m sorry..” You softly said, while looking down at the pavement.

Immediately, Seungmin went to comfort you by patting your head, “Hey, there’s nothing to be sorry about. You’re sad and it’s our duty to comfort you as our best friend.”

You chuckled and smiled up at him. Your eyes were shining with emotion and you thanked him for being so kind.

“Hey, why don’t we go get some ice cream? It might cheer you up.” Changbin offered, while taking your hand and rubbing it.

Everyone looked around and agreed. Ice cream always did the trick to cheer someone up, maybe your situation would be the same.

You laughed lightly and the others’ hearts tightened. Even in distress you were able to smile and it was one of the many reasons they loved you so much.

You nodded your head and started walking with your backpack still hanging from only one shoulder. You brought the other strap to your other shoulder when it was taken away altogether.

Felix was holding your bag on his chest and his own on his back. He looked at you and smiled, saying that it wasn’t a big deal. Chan behind him complained saying that now he had to carry Felix’s equipment bag which wasn’t fair.

The eight of you laughed and you realized that you had a perfect group of people that loved you right there. C/N might have made your heart flutter sometimes, but they had nothing on the pure joy you felt with being with the eight of them.

You don’t remember exactly how or when you had become friends with the infamous “Stray Kids”. They were well-known to cause trouble and yet you had somehow made them into the lovable and caring people they are today. But you realized that you didn’t really do anything. You just showed the school who they really were, past the name and reputation they had.

It was nice, being there in that moment. But of course, your life didn’t work that well. You knew that you’d have to tell them what happened and so you tried to calm down your breathing before starting to talk.

“S-so, what happened was that-“

A loud laugh cut through your statement and the nine of you looked to see where it was coming from. You saw C/N and your former bullies walking in your direction before noticing you. They laughed even louder and started to mock you.

“Aw, Y/N went crying to her boyfriends, huh? Must have hurt when you realized that I just did that as a game,” C/N said while his own gang of ten laughed behind him.

You looked away and wiped your cheeks more vigorously to hide the fact you had cried so much. You usually didn’t cry at school, you didn’t want people to think you were a baby or weak, not that crying is! You knew that but sometimes people were just mean.

The boys looked at your figure and started to realize what had happened. They were all upset and understood that C/N had broken your heart. They couldn’t believe that someone they had considered a friend would do this.

Hyunjin’s eyes sharpened and his fists clenched. He was looking downwards but you knew what he was thinking. You could feel the tension in the air and how all of your friends were angry at what they had just said. You also knew they would protect your name before theirs. You loved them all but you didn’t want them to get hurt or punished for something that didn’t concern them.

Minho looked questioningly at Hyunjin but knew where he was coming from. Hyunjin looked up to his friend’s face and they both understood what was going to happen. All of them couldn’t leave to fight C/N’s group, it would leave you alone. They had once thought of plan incase you ever got into trouble and it seemed this was the time to use it.

You didn’t understand what was going on but you kept seeing the boys glance at each other and nod. You knew that no one would tell you what was to happen because you would disprove, you hated violence..

You walked quickly through the boys until you stood behind Hyunjin who was closest to C/N and your bullies. You looked up at him and tugged slightly on his sleeve.

He closed his eyes and calmed himself down before looking softly at you. His eyes weren’t as harsh and he had a small smile on his lips. He patted your head and rubbed your shoulder in comfort.

“It’ll be okay,” He whispered, before turning around to Minho behind him and saying, “You should take her for ice cream. Leave this to us, yeah?”

Minho smirked at Hyunjin’s request but didn’t question it. He patted him on the back and looked reassuringly to the others before nodding. Chan tossed your backpack to him and he gave it to you. You quickly put it on, not understanding what was happening but doing it anyways.

Minho glared at C/N and their group before grabbing your wrist and walking quickly away from the scene. You were surprised at his actions and followed him until you looked back and saw both groups taking off their backpacks and rolling up their sleeves.

You tried to stop and yelled out, “W-wait, what are they doing? Minho, what’s going on? Minho! No, don’t let them fight, p-please!”

Minho wouldn’t let you see them fight, you always cried when you saw them hurt and it broke their hearts even more. He wrapped his arms around you to prevent you from running back and slowly moved back. You tried to resist by flailing your arms and you looked to where the boys were standing, Hyunjin in the middle. You stared at the back of his head, trying to find a way for him to see you and stop fighting.

Hyunjin felt your stare on the back of his head. He turned around and looked straight at you. You had tears in your eyes and you so looked helpless. He didn’t want you to feel that ever again.

He smiled at you before turning around and advancing with the rest of the boys.

You tried to yell out and see what was happening but Minho came in front of you and blocked your vision. He screamed at you to stop and just go with him. You stopped crying and were surprised by your friend. Minho didn’t scream at you unless it was serious.

You begrudgingly agreed . As much as you wanted to stop them, you knew you wouldn’t be able to.

The two of you ran down the stairs and across the street to your favorite ice cream shop. You didn’t stop running until you got right in front of it and sat down on a bench. You were breathless and couldn’t stop the tears from falling down your cheeks once more. You desperately tried to wipe them away but they just kept coming.

Minho sat down next to you and looked at your shaking form. He wished that he could take away all the pain in your heart and keep you happy. He wanted you to be happy.

He slowly removed your arms from your face and you looked up in response. You didn’t think that you cried nicely, but you looked pretty to Minho.

He rubbed your cheeks to stop the tears and held your face in his hands. He stared into your eyes and sighed.

“You really have bad luck, huh?”

You scoffed and tried to stop the smile on your lips. You knew Minho wasn’t the most outwardly affectionate person so you were confused why he was trying so hard to comfort you. You were confused why any of the boys were fighting right now, for you. Your expression must have given away your thoughts because Minho flicked your forehead in annoyance.

“Hey. Don’t think like that, we all care about you. If you get hurt, we all get hurt!” He said a little loud, and rubbing where he hurt you on the forehead. He kissed your forehead and you hummed in agreement, looking downwards.

This was the usual treatment from Minho. He always teased you and then held you tighter. It was a weird thing but you loved it nonetheless.

Minho stood up and pulled you up with him, walking into the store. When the two of you got to the register, he asked for two F/F ice creams and payed. You both took your ice creams only to drop them when you went outside and saw it occupied by six familiar faces.

“Guys!! W-what happened to you?” You worriedly called out, while running to the bench and looking between them.

Most of them looked okay, but all of them were scuffed up. Chan had a long cut on his forearm, Felix’s hair was messed up, Jisung’s blazer was nowhere to be found, Changbin’s sleeve was ripped, Jeongin was breathless, and Seungmin had scraped his elbow.

Minho came up behind you with a few paper towels and wash cloths from the ice cream shop and handed them out. You gently washed each of their cuts and scrapes while berating them for not being careful. You were thankful they hadn’t gotten more hurt, it would have probably scared you too much. After everyone was cleaned up, you realized that someone very important was missing from the group.

Hyunjin.

Where was he?

“Uh, guys? Where’s Hyunjin?” You asked while the rest of them started to stretch and walk about.

They all looked at each other and were quiet for a few minutes. They were fidgeting with their clothes or the rags before Minho’s patience ran thin.

“Hey! Where is he?” Minho screamed at them, getting angry that he didn’t know where his closest friend was.

Jeongin looked at the both of you before answering, “We don’t really know..? We were all fighting and Hyunjin yelled at us to run. We didn’t understand so we didn’t leave, and then we saw that more of C/N’s friends had come. So, Hyunjin told us to run again and he yelled some insults at them and..” He looked at the others before lowering his head and continuing, “he led them away while we ran. We really thought he was with us! But when we looked back, we couldn’t see him.”

Your eyes widened in shock and you tried to form a complete sentence. You had to find him, and fast. There was no telling what those boys would do when they cornered him. You steeled you’re nerves and looked at all of them.

“Well? What are we waiting for, let’s go save him!” You said in fake annoyance, and the rest of them chuckled before agreeing.

_______________________________________________________________________

It didn’t take you too long to find him. But with Hyunjin, you also found C/N and their friends. They had all surrounding Hyunjin at the end of a hallway when you found them.

“Hey! Back off.” You shouted at the them, at the beginning of the hallway with the rest of the boys behind you.

C/N and his friends looked at each other and stared at you while you walked towards them. You stood right in front of Hyunjin, faced them, and stretched your arms in a protective stance.

“I said, back off.”

“Why you little—“

“She said back off, losers.” Seungmin said from behind you. He and the rest of the boys had walked with you and they were all protecting Hyunjin who was on the floor, beat up pretty badly.

C/N scoffed and rolled their eyes, before looking right at you. Their look was anything but kind and they radiated annoyance. They continued to glare but you didn’t back down, not now, not ever. You cared more about Hyunjin than C/N and it would always be like that.

C/N sneered at you and your friends before walking away. C/N’s friends all looked at each other before following their leader. The group kept walking to the exit and slammed the door open. C/N paused in front of the door, and turned around.

“All for $20? Fat chance, loser. Hope you and your friends are happy.” They said and then spit at the ground in front of you.

Chan started to move in his direction before you quickly grabbed on his arm and stopped him. He looked down at you in confusion before seeing your glare at C/N. You shook your head and dropped his arm.

C/N turned around and left with his group, slamming the door afterwards.

When they finally left, you breathed out a large sigh and put your hands on your hip. You were so tired from everything that had happened but you were glad that it was at least a Friday so you weren’t plagued with homework to do.

You looked back at Hyunjin who was on the floor, only to see him staring right at your figure. You walked up to him and crouched down to his level. You saw a bad bruise blossoming on his cheek while a nasty cut on his eyebrow.

You patted his head and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m okay. Well not really but it’s fine. Though, I did think for a split second I was a goner.” Hyunjin answered while the rest of the boys laughed.

You chuckled and looked into his eyes. They seemed to have lost a spark, but you knew it wasn’t permanent. No matter how strong Hyunjin was, the entire thing must have scared him. He didn’t like violence and almost never took part in it so this was new.

“Well, I’m happy to say that you aren’t and that you’ll be okay. That cut on your eyebrow will probably be a scar.”

Your words caught Jisung’s attention and he couldn’t help but add, “Dang, now you’ll be even more of a heartthrob!”

You all laughed again while you pulled Hyunjin to his feet and Minho came up to you. He patted Hyunjin on the back before twisting his ear.

“Huh? You thought you could be a hero, huh?! Don’t be dumb! Don’t go into a fight alone, that’s what we’re here for!!” Minho reprimanded while Hyunjin clutched his ear in pain.

Hyunjin apologized and Minho let go. Hyunjin’s ear was bright red and he kept rubbing it to ease the pain. The nine of you walked out of the school to see that the sun was barely setting. The boys grabbed their backpacks they had left at the front and you all walked to your community.

It was nice being in the same community as your best friends, you could walk to each other’s houses all the time! Not that you did, most of them were too lazy to meet up and would rather just be on a nine-way call.

But you liked it.

You liked being with your friends. You realized that you didn’t necessarily need a romantic life at the moment, not when these eight boys could make you smile and laugh until your cheeks hurt.

It was a wonderful feeling.

And they felt the same with you. Having such a wonderful influence and person as their friend made them better people. They didn’t look for attention anymore and barely ever got into fights! Except if it was for you.

You were their best friend. And they were yours. Sometimes, platonic soulmates are real.

And when you walked home with them that day, you truly believed that you had been blessed with eight.

© 2021 by cherryyjjk ;; all writings and other content on this blog are my intellectual property. you may not reuse, reprint, translate, repost, steal, or any other type of stealing of my works.

[crackedoutgiraffe]

To the Moon and Back

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

A/N: Chapter 12

You and Spencer’s first date was tonight. At work, for the past week, you and Reid would sneakily catch each other’s eye. You both decided that telling the team wasn’t the best idea. You would eventually tell them, you just wanted to be sure this would work before getting their hopes up. You had planned for a date for two weeks prior but that was interrupted by a case.

“Hey,” Reid and you were leaving the office at the same time that night. “ I’ll be at your apartment around 7.”

“How fancy should I dress?” Reid wouldn’t tell you where he was taking you.

“I would say pretty fancy,” he smirked in your direction. 

“Can you please tell me where we’re going?” You pleaded, you hated surprises.

“Nope,” he put emphasis on the P. 

The elevator doors opened and you walked out, “I guess I’ll assume you’re going to kidnap me then,” you turned to him and shrugged. You walked off and heard him scoff. 

When you got to your car, you squealed like a little girl. You were finally going on a date with him. You had been hoping this would happen since you joined the team a month ago. You quickly drove to your apartment to get ready. You took a shower to wash off the sweat from work today. You were going to wear the dress that Rossi gave you and the shoes you’d bought. Your makeup was very glam and your hair was curled. 

The doorbell interrupted you putting on your makeup. You were simply in a robe, you hadn’t put your dress on yet. You opened the door to see Spencer standing in a suit with a bouquet of roses, “You look nice.” 

“These are for you,” he handed you the pink roses.

The roses smelled like heaven, “these are my favorite, how did you know?” 

“I heard you talking about them to Garcia,” he stood there with a smile on his face.

“Oh, come in, I'm sorry,” you had completely forgot that you were still in a robe. “I haven’t finished getting ready yet.”

“I’m a little early,” he walked inside and looked around your apartment.

You gestured to the couch, “Make yourself comfortable, I should be done in a minute.” You walked back to your bedroom, but left the door open. You felt bad for leaving him by himself for so long. You were done with your makeup in the next five minutes. You put on your dress and entered the living room, “Are you ready?” He seemed to jump when you entered.

“You look...wow,” he was completely flustered with your appearance.

“Thank you,” you grabbed your keys and your gun.

“Right this way,” he opened the door for you, he followed you out and you locked the door. The two of you walked down the hallway and to your car. He gave you directions while you drove. You eventually arrived at Masseria in downtown DC. 

“Reservation for Spencer,” he told the hostess.

She looked up his name in her tablet, “Right this way, sir,” she grabbed two menus and led you to your table. 

Reid pulled your chair out for you, “thank you,” you sat down and he walked to the other side of the table. The waitress set the menus on the table and offered the two of you wine, you both declined. Eventually, the two of you ordered your food. He ordered the steak and you ordered the ravioli. During the dinner, you two made conversation. You talked about your time so far at Quantico and how you were liking the job, you talked about what you both studied in college. The waitress came back and asked if you would like dessert and you both declined. By nine, Reid was ready to go. He paid the check and you left. 

You started the car and were starting to go back to your apartment but Reid gave you instructions to a different place. In the heart of DC, he had you pull over and park the car. You were outside of a little ice cream shop. 

“I figured you would want to get dessert for less than $100,” he smiled as you got out of the car. 

You pointed at his suit, “aren’t we a little overdressed?”

“Who cares?” he walked over to the driver’s side and offered you his elbow. You interlocked your arm with his. 

You walked into the little ice cream parlor and strolled along the counter for a bit. They had 20 flavors by your count. “Can I have three scoops of the chocolate chip cookie dough?” You asked the older man working the counter, he nodded at your request and started to make your order. You walked over to the cash register and pulled out your credit card. 

“I’ll have three scoops of the pistachio,” Reid pointed at the green ice cream.

“Coming right up,” the old man put your ice cream by the cash register, and started to work on your order. It didn’t take him long to come back to the cash register where Reid had joined you. 

“Is that for here or to go?” The man looked at you two for a response. 

You opened your mouth to speak but Reid beat you to it, “to go.”

“Alright, that’ll be $10,” you handed the man your credit card. Reid went to grab his wallet but you stopped him before he could. 

You two grabbed your ice cream and got back into the car. You handed him your ice cream and started your car. He gave you more directions that eventually lead you to a hill overlooking all of DC. 

“Wow,” you stopped the car and admired the view for a minute before you heard Reid’s door open. You too got out of the car and followed him, he still had your ice cream in hand. You both walked to a part of the overlook where you could sit down. He handed you your ice cream and you both started to eat. 

“Truth or dare?” he asked you. 

“Truth,” you smiled at his game.

“How many boyfriends have you had?”

You cleared your throat, “one,” that was a really odd question for him to ask. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” he smiled. 

“Who is your favorite among the team?” You wanted to know who he felt safe with. 

“Morgan, he’s always had my back,” he seemed choked up about it. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Really?”

You scoffed at his reply, “My friends and I played this a lot in college, you don’t want to know some of the things I did.”

“Alright then,” he smiled, “I dare you to eat the biggest scoop of ice cream you can.”

“That’s it?” It was kind of a stupid dare, “Ok,” you took a giant spoonful of ice cream and put it in your mouth. He was looking for you to get a brain freeze and you did, but you had trained yourself to not show a reaction to those sorts of things.

“Really? No reaction,” he seemed surprised at your straight face.

You finished eating your giant spoonful, “I don’t react to brain freezes,” you took another bite, “or lemon juice.”

“The phenomenon of a brain freeze is common enough to have been the subject of research published in the British Medical Journal and Scientific American. A study conducted by Maya Kaczorowski demonstrated a higher incidence of headache in subjects consuming an ice cream sample quickly, in less than 5 seconds, vs. those who consumed slowly, taking longer than 30 seconds, 27% and 12%, respectively,” he started to ramble.

“Reid,” you snapped him out of his rambling, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“What is your deepest darkest fear?” you leaned toward him.

“I guess it would be not being able to help people,” his face reflected feelings of sadness, “I’ve been trying to help people since I was young, and if I couldn’t do that I don’t know what I would do with my life.”

“That’s deep,” you laid down on the grass and looked up at the stars.

“Truth or Dare?” he laid down with his head next to yours but his feet in the opposite direction.

“Truth,” you sighed, the stars made you feel safe, that along with Spencer.

“What is your biggest regret?”

“I went on a trip in 2003 and while I was gone my grandma died,” a tear rolled down your cheek. “Before I left my dad told me that I could either stay and watch her die, or go on the trip.”

“I’m sorry,” He turned to look at you. “My dad left me and my mom when I was younger.”

You turned to look at him, “I’m sorry.” You felt a hand running through your hair. The two of you laid there and watched the stars for an hour or so, “Reid, stand up.” The two of you stood up.

“What’s wrong?” he was really nervous, after all you were so peaceful before.

You walked over to your car and started it, “nothing’s wrong,” you gestured for him to go back to the spot where the two of you were laying down. You connected your phone to the bluetooth and started to play ‘In the wee small hours of the morning’ by Frank sinatra.

“What are you doing?” He had a smile on his face.

“I’ve always wanted to do this,” you walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and the two of you started to sway back and forth. You rested your head on his chest. The two of you danced for what seemed like a minute, but was really two hours. The fact that your car battery didn’t die was shocking. Eventually you two laid down on the ground. You put your head on his chest and he ran his fingers through your hair.

“There’s Orion's belt,” he pointed up at the sky.

“Cassiopeia,” you pointed at the W shaped constellation.

“Perseus.”

“Taurus,” this was a competition now.

“Gemini.”

“Auriga,” you pointed.

“Canis Major.”

“Pyxis,” I took astronomy class, bitch.

“Antilla.”

“Corvus,” you now see why people say that you’re too competitive.

“Crater.”

“Virgo,” your star sign.

“Libra.”

“Serpens Caput.”

“Hercules.

“Lyra,” this one was harder to find.

“Cepheus.”

“Ursa Minor”

“Ursa Major.

“Camelopardalis.”

“Lynx.”

You pointed at the stick figure, “Cancer.”

“Hydra.”

“Sextans.”

“Leo.”

“Leo Minor.”

“Bootes.”

“Draco.”

“Canas Venatici.”

“Alright,” you sat up from his chest, “you win.”

“Are you ready to go home?”

You yawned, “Yeah, it’s getting late.”

He stood up and offered you his hand to help you stand up, “I’ll drive.” He held his hands out for the keys.

“Thank you,” you yawned again and tossed him the keys. You got into the passenger seat. The drive down the hill was uneventful. Spencer would look over at you every once in a while. Eventually you fell asleep in the car. Spencer noticed this and turned the radio down. He smiled at your sleeping self. When he got to your apartment, he parked the car and walked over to the passenger side. He grabbed you and carried you bridal style up to your apartment. When you woke up you were in the elevator, still in Spencer’s arms. He smiled down at you and you snuggled into his chest. When he got to your door, he set you on your feet. You grabbed your keys and opened the door.

“Thank you for tonight,” you gave him a sleepy smile.

“Thank you for being a wonderful person to take on a date,” he smiled at you and started to walk down the hall.

“Hey, Spence,” he turned around at the sound of your voice. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he started to walk back to you, standing in your doorway.

“Kiss me,” you stood up straight. You felt his lips hit yours and you immediately closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around his neck. You stayed in the passionate kiss for about three minutes, before he pulled away.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Reid started to walk down the hallway toward the elevator. You entered your apartment and fell on your couch, completely dazed from the magical experience. 

[justanalto]

i was tagged by the wonderfully sweet @besidemethewholedamntime -- thank you so much!! <3 <3 <3

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?

I have a wet brush that’s bright blue, but I also have a hairbrush that’s red!

2. Name a food you never eat

uhhhh...olives, but only when they’re on their own. 

3. Are you typical too warm or too cold?

I’m always too cold. always, always, always. my fingers are currently freezing and so are my toes. I think it’s because there’s a loose draft in my room here somewhere, TBH. 

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

roses are red // 45 minutes ago // i was writing poetry // and answering all my asks in a row

i’ve been sending people asks in poetry form and they’ve been responding, LOL -- so there’s been a lot of poetry brain going on!

5. What’s your favorite candy bar?

either a nice dark chocolate bar or a green tea kit kat bar!

6. Have you ever been to professional sports event?

I’ve been to a few professional baseball games! gotta get out there and have some mass sports pride. one of these days, my american football team will be good again and I will get those tickets. 

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?

some half-hearted mumble-harmonizing to pentatonix’s be my eyes, so something along those lyrics!

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

either black raspberry (s/o to campus!!) or mint chocolate chip :) 

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

a couple of sips of water, hehe

10. Do you like your wallet?

I do! It’s the first “grown-up” wallet I feel like I’ve ever had -- I bought it from camden market last year when I was in london, and it’s a nice pine shade of green and made of cork. unfortunately, because i bought it in london, it also means that it doesn’t hold american currency quite as well, but it’s okay, i make do, LOL! 

11. What is the last thing you ate?

my dad made spaghetti bolognese and I ate that with a hecking ton of bread. it was fantastic :) 

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

unfortunately, no :( i can’t remember the last time I bought new clothes. maybe january? february? before the pandemic started. 

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched?

I think...I know it was definitely a pats game, and I’m pretty sure we lost, so it’s somewhere along the lines of pats v. ravens, I think

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

extra buttery, even though it would probably murder me :’)

15. Who is the last person you send text message to?

@aleksandrachaev, and it was two thumbs-up emojis, LOL. 

16. Ever been camping?

I have! I went a long time ago, like nine years ago long ago, I think somewhere out west? I slept on an air mattress, went to an outdoor bathroom, all that fun jazz! and the bug bites, LOL. 

17. Do you take vitamins?

my mom: so you’ve got the probiotic, the vitamin c and the biotin...

18. Do you regularly attend a place of workship?

I don’t -- my dad used to go to church regularly, but other than that, I’ve never been to church and we’ve never been as a family. 

19. Do you have a tan?

i don’t know how this happened but I literally still have shorts tan from like, august. it is the middle of november, someone tell me how I got here. a couple of years ago, I burnt so badly on a trip to LA I was still seeing the tan months later, LOL. and most of the time, I have some fair flip-flop tan!

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza?

chinese, because pizza has the ability to murder me

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw?

it it’s a takeout cup, then odds are good i’m drinking it through a straw, but other than that nope :) 

22. What color socks you usually wear?

white or grey, I think? i have some funky colored ones but i’m trying to change that

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

i’m having flashbacks to a conversation I had with a friend who laughed at me for going five miles above the speed limit -- yes, I do, but only the allowed five miles above the speed limit and none more

24. What terrifies you?

oh, no, you don’t want to ask me that, we’d be here all day...being abandoned, I guess? being left by the people I care about, becoming too attached to people because they can leave and hurt me, spiders, heights, the pandemic, being hated, being alone...my own emotions, sometimes. 

25. Look to your left, what do you see?

my tubby nugget! he smiles at me, and I feel a lil better :)

26. What chore do you hate the most?

i literally could not tell you how much I hate cleaning the grout in our bathroom tile. it is a CHORE. 

27. What do you think when you hear Australian accent?

the hemsworth brothers, but also someone I met abroad who was from perth and had the same name as me, LOL

28. Whats your favorite soda?

ginger ale! 

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit drive through?

depends on where I’m hitting, tbh -- if i’m in a hurry, we’re going straight through the drive-thru. but if it’s an event, then we’ll go in! have a fun time. sit for a while and talk. 

30. What’s your favorite number?

i don’t think I have one, actually?

31. Who’s the last person you talked to?

my dad, I’m pretty sure -- we talked about pandemic unemployment assistance :)

32. Favorite meal?

sushi, or whenever my mom makes steamed chicken. (i’m realizing it’s been so long since I’ve had that chicken and now I’m sad) 

33. Last song you listed to?

for real by lana condor

34. Last book you read?

confucius jane by katie lynch, just to see if the lesbians stood up to the pedestal i’d put them on -- and hell yeah, they did! 

35. Favorite day of the week?

right now, thursdays, because thursday is grey’s day! 

36. Can you say alphabet backwards?

probably, if you gave me enough time to think about it

37. How do you like your coffee?

like i like my men -- from afar, some of them are pretty, but do I actually like them? no

38. Favorite pair of shoes?

either my gray ankle boots I got a couple of years ago or my ‘gay lesbian snow boots’ that I use when it’s snowing something awful out, LOL!

39. Time you normally get up?

i’m supposed to be up at 8 am, but I’m usually up anywhere between 9 and 10am. I...need to change that, LOL. 

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunset?

i love both! but I like sunset because I’ve never specifically woken up to see the sunrise, i’ve only seen it out of coincidence because I pulled an all nighter to do work

41. How many blankets on your bed?

three, at the moment -- a costco blanket, my college blanket and a five-below blanket

42. Describe your kitchen plates.

white with a floral border

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment.

it’s lived-in -- we have a side table that’s always at the risk of a collapsing, a power strip that runs a kettle, microwave and toaster oven (you can never run two of them at once otherwise the strip shuts off), kitchen mats that will never get rid of their crumbs and a healthy, healthy pantry!

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

either pink moscato wine or a rekorderlig cider! 

45. Do you play cards?

i used to a lot, when I was younger! when I got older I stopped finding people to be able to play them with, unfortunately. 

46. What color is your car?

silver! (even though I share it with my sister)

47. Can you change a tire?

no, but I’d definitely like to learn :)

48. Your favorite state or province?

new york or california, honestly. probably california. it’s the place I’ve felt the most free :) 

49. Favorite job you’ve had?

i’ve had a lot of internships but not a lot of jobs, but I’d probably have to say it was the one I had at dunks -- so many funny things and stories came out of it, and now I have enough barista experience to power my coffee shop fics for a lifetime! 

tagging: @agentmmayy @nazezdha321 @sadtunes @a-biochemist-not-a-bird @browneyedgenius @daisylincs @aleksandrachaev @missinglittlebritishfriend @hannahxowen @genderfluid-and-confuzled and anyone else that I missed -- you’re it!! (i’m truly sorry if I forgot you, I haven’t slept a lot in the last couple of nights fhdskjfhs) 

[downwiththeficness]

In the Blood-Part Seven

Pairing: Brasa/Female OC

Word Count: ~3,000

Warnings: None

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six

Part Eight Part Nine  Part Ten  Part Eleven Part Twelve

It took about two months of research to find the artifact.  While there wasn’t a shortage of books bound in flesh in the rare antiquities world, there was only one bound in the skin of a culebra.  She tracked it down to a veritable recluse a few towns over and had spent the better part of the last eight weeks trying to get inside his house.

Lilah rubbed at her eyes until she saw spots, drawing on the last reserves of her patience as she read through another disappointing report.  She leaned back in her seat and stared at the ceiling, wondering if she should just drive out there and deal with it, herself.  Javier had insisted that she shouldn’t, that she was needed here, but the team he’d hired was striking out left and right.  The hermit couldn’t be bought, he couldn’t be threatened, and his security system was top of the line—an uncrackable safe, she’d been assured by experts.

And, Brasa was MIA.  Lilah leaned on her elbows.  Since that night in the hotel, she hadn’t seen him, but she’d feel him now and again.  Pressing a palm to her stomach, a breath across her collarbones, heat radiating from beside or behind her.  She wanted to talk to him, wanted to ask him more about the world she was suddenly immersed in.  Lilah had read so much about culebras, mostly from books Javier sent her, but nothing about Xibalba.  Correction: Little about Xibalba.  The only thing that the books seemed to say was that it was like hell, only worse.

Surreptitiously, she’d skimmed the pages for information about a queen, and for Brasa’s name. There was next to nothing.  The going theory was that Xibalban rulers were cruel, blood soaked tyrants who killed at will.  Lilah spent a lot of time trying to reconcile the soft touch of Brasa to the violence in the books. She tried, and failed. Lilah needed more information.

Still, the job was there, every day. More excuses from the team, no book.  Lilah looked up the directions to the hermit’s house, just in case.

This morning was an anomaly.  A report came in that told her the hermit had a son.  The hermit had a son that liked to gamble.  She smiled as she read it, knowing that they could work the son to get inside and get the book.  Easy.

Lilah pulled the contact information for his favorite haunt on her phone and dialed the number.  She stood and paced while she waited for the other side to pick up.  She hadn’t bothered to make the bed, knowing the housekeeping staff would take care of it later.  She also hadn’t bothered to unpack.  Though she’d been in this room nearly the entire time, she kept her suitcase packed and ready to go when she wasn’t actively using anything inside.  Every night, she stowed away her laptop and other essentials.  Just in case.

The line picked up, “Hello?”

“Yes, is this Mr. Pickerelle?”

A pause, “Who is this?”

Lilah sat on the bed, and put on her most professional voice, “I represent a loan operation and we specialize in—“

“Not interested,” he cut her off, voice brooking no argument.

Lilah tsked, “I think you are. I’d like to buy one of your debts.”

While she went over the details and got his account information to transfer the money, Lilah leaned over the bed and pulled the complementary notepad from the drawer of the side table.  She wrote the numbers down, smiling at the first real progress in weeks.

“Tell me, what do you want with this guy?”

Lilah laughed, “Nothing good, I assure you.”

He launched into an anecdote about squeezing his first victim for money, and Lilah rolled her eyes, laying back on the pillow.  Really, she should end the call and hang up, but information was information.  She might need it later.  

Just when she thought he might pull the story to an end, he went off on a tangent, and she slapped a hand to her forehead in boredom. She debated interrupting him, when a warm weight settled on her thighs.  Lilah glanced down and saw nothing, but the heat was familiar. Absently, she reached down, hoping to find something solid.  Her hand met only air.

Frustrated, she turned her attention to the call and found her opening to end it, pressing her thumb to the screen with a little more force than necessary.  She tossed the phone to the side and looked up at the  ceiling.

“What are you doing?”

Lilah didn’t know if saying out loud would transmit the message to him, but she said it anyways.  The warmth dissipated after a moment and she clenched her jaw, refusing to feel bad about it.  She had a new lead that needed to be explored. It was time to take that on.

Lilah spent about three hours figuring out details over email and then decided that she was going to do it, herself.   The guy was easy to hunt down, given that he had no idea he was being followed. People were creatures of habit, whether they admitted it, or not. This guy was no exception.  He frequented the same bar at least twice a week and drove a yellow Mustang.  Convenient.

Lilah didn’t do much shopping, but she wasn’t going to get into this bar without wearing something nicer than jeans and a hoodie.  She bought a tight fitting navy dress and maroon heels, curled her hair, and put on the only piece of jewelry she owned—a gold linked chain that fell enticingly into her cleavage.

The bar wasn’t so much a bar as it was a club.  Lots of blue laser lights, music with a thumping base, and dark.  Lilah could work with dark.  She stepped to the edge of the dance floor, looking for her mark.  It was early, and it was possible that he hadn’t arrived yet.  She craned her neck, looking over the crowd.  Not here, not yet.

Lilah turned to the bar, thinking that she might look more at home with a drink her hand, and felt a wave of dizziness.  The air turned hot and the music transitioned to something slower. It vibrated in her chest, forcing her to turn around in search of someone else.  She wasn’t in the bar anymore. She wasn’t really sure where she was.

To her right, there was a seating area that was sparsely filled, everyone’s attention on the stage to her left.  She looked, too, jaw dropping as she observed a burlesque show mid-performance.  The woman was beautiful—beautiful and really, really flexible.  Lilah turned her head as she pulled her leg back and around so that it bent gracefully over her head.  

Feeling a sympathetic ache in her thighs, she glanced around the rest of the room, looking for something to orient herself.  She recognized no one, and it seemed that they didn’t recognize her, either.   The few pairs of eyes that she met took note and looked away, far more interested in the show.  Lilah was grateful, less interest meant less possibility for questions that she definitely didn’t have the answer to.

She almost went to the bar, but an area lit up in red caught her eye.  Focusing, she took a few steps forward, edging around a high table to get a closer look.  There was evidently a meeting in progress, several men discussing something passionately.  One man I particular snagged and held her attention.

“Brasa,” she breathed, barely able to help herself. After so long, seeing him felt like coming up for air after laying at the bottom of a pool until her lungs burned.

As if he’d heard her, his head snapped up, eyes finding her across the room. He didn’t exactly look shocked to see her, but his brows rose in question.  Saying something to the others, he pressed his hands to the table and rose. Lilah watched him stride over to her determinedly, pace quick but not rushed. She didn’t miss the way people moved out of his way, hurriedly stepping to the side.  Lilah smirked when she noticed he wasn’t wearing all black this time, opting for a deep green long sleeve shirt alongside his usual black gloves and slacks.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he reached her, his hands already rising to her shoulders in order to draw her close. She went willingly, too glad to feel his warmth again.

Lilah’s brows lifted, “You’re not happy to see me?”

He smiled, “Of course I am.” Then, “Come with me.”

Brasa took her by the hand, leading her deeper into the room, past an ‘employees only’ sign, and through another set of heavy double doors that looked as if they were made of metal. The hallway opened up to a massive room with a single cement walkway through the middle, dissecting a large pool.  On the far end was a desk and several chairs. The light, as in the club, was a dim red that seemed to come from the ceiling, though there were no discernable fixtures.

Lilah took in the room, slowing a bit, “Is this your office?”

He stopped and looked back at her, brows together in confusion, “Yes, it is.”

She continued gazing around appreciatively, “Nice digs.”

His head tilted to the side a little, one side of his mouth lifting, “Is that good?”

“Yes,” Lilah confirmed with a smile, “Its good.”

Something like relief flashed behind his eyes. He continued to look at her, taking in her dress, her heels, his eyes dark. She found herself blushing under the weight of that gaze, wanting him closer despite her frustration with him.

“Its been a long time,” Lilah prompted gently, wanting an explanation for his absence, but unsure of how to go about getting it..

Looking contrite, Brasa grasped her hips in both hands and dropped his gaze to the ground, “I know. There have been complications.”

She lifted one brow, “What complications?”

He released a breath borne out of long contained agitation, his fingers tightening ever so slightly on her body, “A faction of my people have been attempting to run a coup.  I have spent nearly every waking moment working to keep the peace.”

Lilah couldn’t help the little bit of ire that remained, though the explanation was pretty fucking good, “You could have said something.  I started to think that it was all up here.”

She motioned to her head, attempting to convey the paranoia that had crept into her mind with every passing day that she didn’t see him.  Passing touches only fueled the doubt, and Lilah did not like to doubt herself.

Brasa gathered her to his chest, resting his chin on her head affectionately, “Please accept my apologies.”

Reluctantly, she wrapped her arms around him, inhaling his scent and feeling tension she didn’t know she had fall away. Lilah wanted to hold onto it, but it slipped from her like water—which didn’t make any sense, because holding a grudge was a skill that she definitely had in spades.

“What is this? Please, explain it to me.” She didn’t conceal the edge of panic in her voice, not caring what that made her look like to anyone who cared to look.

He pulled away, catching her eye. It took real work to keep from falling deep into his gaze, the soft brown barely illuminated by the red light that seemed ubiquitous in this place. Darkness and shadow passed over and through him, making themselves at home.

Brasa swallowed and his glance shifted to the side a bit.  Lilah forced herself to remain silent. He’d been open with her in the past when she asked him direct questions, she would give him that opportunity now.

“It thought it was impossible. I thought that demons couldn’t have—weren’t made for…”

She leaned in, resting her hands on his biceps, “For?”

“You,” he finished, the word issued with a little force.  “I thought I would never have you. But, when I felt you in the healing pools, it just all fell into place.”

If anything, she was more confused now than she had been half a minute previous.  She tried to hold his gaze, but he was still looking to the side. Lilah tried to force a little urgency into her next sentence. She needed to know.

“You’ve got to be little more specific.”

Brasa shifted on his feet, fixing her with an unblinking gaze, his jaw clenching. He stilled unnaturally, breaths coming in a little faster. Leaning down, he pressed his nose to the sensitive place behind her ear, inhaling, “Fuck, you smell good.”

Lilah couldn’t help the little whimper that she made when his mouth opened and he tongued along that little bit of skin.  She wobbled a little in her heels, arching to give him more access. Despite the tangent, she liked the electric feeling of skin meeting skin, her body welcoming every touch.

“You still,” she asserted on the tail end of a moan, “Haven’t answered my question.”

Brasa laughed against her skin, kissing along her jaw until he met her mouth, where gave her the quickest, lightest little peck. Lilah tried to follow him when he pulled away, earning herself another soft chuckle.

“I haven’t,” he agreed, “And I did agree to answer your questions.”

“You did.”

Though he leaned back so that he could look at her, he kept his hold firm.  She couldn’t have stepped away, if she wanted to—not that she particularly wanted to. Despite her effort to keep focused on their conversation, Lilah couldn’t quite tamp down the urge to run her hands up his arms and over his shoulders, her thumbs resting on either side of his collar. Fiddling with the fabric kept her from using it as leverage to pull him down for a deeper kiss. She’d been way too long without him and didn’t know when she’d get the opportunity again.

Clearing his throat, Brasa attempted to start again, “Do you remember when I told you of the blood bond I had to my queen?”  When she nodded, he continued, “This is similar—deeper.”

“Deeper how?”

“You are mine and I am yours,” he said, the words coming out in a rhythm that hinted at ritual.

Lilah frowned, “Are you talking about soul mates?”

He smirked, “Blood is the conduit of the soul.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

Brasa rolled his eyes, “I doubt its meant to. But, this is real.  Every time I touch you,” he cupped her face, “Kiss you,” he pressed his lips to hers, “Catch your fucking mouthwatering scent.  It. Is. Real.”

They stood there for a while, foreheads touching, sharing breaths.  Lilah was speechless, her brain working to try to rearrange her whole world around a man who seemed to eclipse everything around her. After several false starts, she just stopped trying.

“Green looks good on you,” she murmured, tugging a bit on his collar.

His chin lowered and he traced two fingers from her chin, down her neck, to the edge of her dress, where he lingered.

“When I saw you tonight, I thought it was another dream to torment me.”

Surprised, Lilah asked, “You dream about me.”

“Constantly,” he affirmed, “You’ve wrecked my concentration.”

Lilah thought he was certainly doing a hell of a job wrecking her concentration. Her brain reminded her none too gently that she was supposed to be doing a job.  Her body was calmly telling her brain to shut the hell up so that she could enjoy this. She rose up a bit in her heels and kissed him, ending the feud entirely.

He groaned into it, and wrapped both arms around her, a move that seemed almost reflexive.  Lilah couldn’t seem to catch her breath. Every part of her felt over sensitive and raw, achy. She pressed her thighs together to try to put a little pressure where she most needed it. The motion brought into sharp focus the fact that she was teetering on the edge of knife. Just a little push would send her to her knees.

A loud banging on the heavy doors sounded, and Lilah gasped with the sudden intrusion.  Brasa’s arms remained locked around her.  He veered off to the side, mouthing down her neck and to the swell of her breasts.  Lilah’s moan was loud even to her ears when his tongue snaked out to lick a hot stripe between them.

The knock sounded again, this time more urgent.

“My lord!” Someone yelled from the other side.

A vicious growl rumbled out of Brasa.  It started low and built to one long, deadly warning. Lilah shivered, though she couldn’t exactly put her finger on why. The edges of the room began to blur and she could feel the tell tale wooziness.

Straightening, Brasa breathed deeply, his eyes closed. Lilah smiled at the concerted effort he was making to calm himself. It gratified her to know that she wasn’t the only one wanting more.

“Go take care of that,” she whispered, “I have a job I need to get to, anyways.”

Brasa’s eyes opened and she could see the determination in them, “We’re not done.” He gripped her chin between his thumb and the curve of his forefinger, “I found you.”

A little thrill went through her at the implication that she’d see him outside of their shared visions, “We’ll finish this later, then.”

Reluctantly, he let her go, taking a step away. Her mouth went dry as she watched him adjust the erection straining against his slacks. A not so little part of her wanted to reach out and palm it, feel its shape in her hand.

The knocking continued and he took a long, final glance at her before turning and heading for the door.  Lilah closed her eyes as her equilibrium shifted, and then she was back in the bar she’d started out in.  And, to her good fortune, her target had arrived.

[knightthunderis]

Christmas Cordonian style Knight Thunder Twist.

Christmas cordonian style with a Knight Thunder twist

  author's note   this story takes place a week after the arrest of Barthelemy Beaumont and those who were with him in the coup against the crown of cordonia.

 The Palace of Cordonia is a buzz with excitement as servants and people alike work together to decorate the capital city for the upcoming Christmas celebration.

Karyson and his Queen Reimeiko were observing as the decorations and preparations were happening.

“It is a Happy Time For Us my dear Reimeiko.   What a celebration the preparations have been going on for days.” Karyson gushed.  “ old man Beaumont and the rest of his conspirators are behind bars my aunt and uncle can finally rest in peace knowing that they're killers are incarcerated for the rest of their lives.   I am relieved as well.   Rhiannon and the twins are growing up free from Barthelemy's tyranny.   and peace is once again returned to our kingdom.”

 “oh yes.”  Queen Reimeiko agreed. “ we are finally able to live our lives and our children are free the grow up away from all the evils that were thrown at them.   all of our friends from all around the kingdom and Beyond have come to help decorate.   BJ and the trio were getting along beautifully and this is our first real Christmas together as a family.”

 before they knew what was happening,  a loud crash could be heard from the kitchen close to the ballroom.  Karyson and Reimeiko  exchanged fearful looks and took off in the direction of the crash.   they both get through this serving doors only Drake fell out on the floor with a bowl of cake mix on his head.

“ what happened?”  the king demanded attempting to hide the laughter behind his feigned anger.

 “It was an accident, honestly.” Maxwell Beaumont  quickly said.  “I was coming one way with a bowl of cake mix. He was coming the other with the apples and we collided. Nothing major we’ll fix it we’ll fix it.”

“Well you had better fix it.” the  King growled  in feigned anger.  “Racine will get both of your butts if you mess up her kitchen and you know how fiercely protective Racine is of her kitchen.” as the king and his queen turned away and walked out of the kitchen once out of earshot they finally busted up laughing. “ did you see the look on Maxwell's face  when he and Drake  thought they were in trouble?  The look of fear was priceless. “

As they exited the kitchen and returned to the Ballroom  and the decorating, Marco and Valerie from Lythikos  and Jiro and Camila from Applewood arrived with their families with more sweet treats and snacks for the celebration.   The Cordonian children  we're given permission to take the time to play with BJ and the trio.

“Thank you for inviting us to your Christmas celebrations your Majesty's.” Camilla announced.  “And we are glad that you were able to save your daughter from being taken over by that bad man.”

“ well the bad man will be no trouble for no body anymore.”  the queen replied. “ he is locked up for the rest of his life and will never harm another Soul ever again.   you know what I have got an idea.   what do you guys say you guys heard BJ & the trio up to the playroom and then I will come and tell y'all A Christmas Story tell you all about how it all began with me and my family.”

“ that would be awesome your highness.” Marco gushed. “ it would be great to hear all about your first Christmas and how things meant for you and yours.”

“ well okay if you will take BJ Rhiannon Ethan and  Gabriel do the playroom The King and I will be up in a few minutes with the Christmas book.”

 without another second to spare the cordonian children took the younger ones up to the playroom and waited for the queen to arrive with her story.   within about 10 minutes the king and queen arrived at the playroom all the children were sitting in a semicircle in front of the rocking chair waiting to hear the Queen's famous story.

“ truth of the matter be told.” Karyson replied. “I cannot wait to hear the story you have come up with my love.”

“ well this is a story that everybody will enjoy.” Reimeko said.  instead of sitting in the rocking chair she pushed it back and set down in the floor with the children and her husband and began her story.  “ this is the story of a Time long ago back before my parents back when my grandparents were still just children my grandfather told us the story years later and it's become a family favorite:  Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a mouse the stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that st. Nicholas soon would be there the children were nestled all snug in their beds with visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads.”

 This part of the story is where the king picked it up. “ oh I remember this with mom and her kerchief and I in my cap we had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.  When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter away to the window I flew like a flash tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.  The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the luster of midday to objects below when what do my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer with a little old driver so Lively and quick I knew in that moment it must be Saint Nick More rapid than the Eagles his coursers they came and he whistled and shouted and called them by name now Dasher  now Dancer now Prancer and Vixen on Comet on Cupid on Donner and Blitzen to the top of the porch to the top of the wall now dash away, dash away dash away all as dry leaves up before the wild hurricane fly when they met with an obstacle mount to the sky so up to the Housetop the coursers they flew with the sleigh full of toys and Saint Nicholas II and then in a twinkling I heard on the roof the Prancing and pawing of each little hoof as I drew in my head and was turning around down the chimney st. Nicholas came with a bound.”

 The queen took up the story from then on.   but the story had brought in everyone else to hear the long and blustering Tale. “ he was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot, a bundle of toys he had flung on his back and look like a peddler just opening his pack his eyes have a twinkled his dimples how merry his cheeks were like roses his nose like a cherry his droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow the stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath he had a broad little face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly he was chubby and plump a right Jolly Old elf and I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself a winking his eye and it twisted his head soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread he spoke not a word but it went straight to his work and feel it all the stockings then turn with a jerk and laying his finger aside of his nose and giving a nod up the chimney he rose he sprang to his sleigh his team gave a whistle and a way they are flew like that down of a thistle but I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight Merry Christmas to all and to all a good-night.”

 The children and everyone assembled sat there in awe as the queen finished the long historical story Amazed by the beauty and the imagery she weaved as she told the story.

“Tell us more your majesty.” Camilla gushed.  “is there more Christmas poems and stories you know that one was amazing especially the tale of the snow.”

“ there is much more there is one by Charles Dickens that was entitled The Christmas Carol but that is a much longer story to be told and right now we have not the time.” the queen replied. “ but the moral of the Christmas story is at least A Christmas Carol is a story if you like I will read to you all at bedtime but for now we have a celebration to get to and hopefully everything is in order.”

 Ethan, Rhiannon, and Gabriel, along with BJ approached Queen Thunderis  with curious eyes. “ was there more to the poem Aunt Rena?” BJ asked. “ it was a very short story but I'd like to know more.”

“ me too  mommy.” Rhiannon echoed. “more Christmas Story pease?”

“ alright here's one I can tell you since we do seem to have time before the big celebration.”  the queen replied.  “ when Jamie Randall and Shannon we're just nine maybe ten years old that was one Christmas that turned into a Christmas miracle.   The  Llewellyn's  had just moved in next door Mr. Llewellyn had joined Thunderstar Universal  and his children Tristan, Erin,  and Jordan had  just enrolled in the nearby Elementary School.   Mrs. Llewellyn was traveling the country with her family to meet up with her married family in time for the holidays.   Miss Rihanna drove a special delivery truck all over the country and was to an extent a female version of Santa Claus. but it wasn't just gifts for the children that she was hauling every year she was also doing everything to help families that didn't have everything they needed. “

“Was there a lot of families like that?”  Camilla asked.  “ I do not understand what did it mean that these families did not have everything they needed?” 

“The families I am referring to are the ones like well your Nobles and Royals call them,  commoners.”  the queen replied. “ because unlike the Nobles and Royals The parents of these families had to work for a living. not everybody born is born into it a family where all they have to do is bark orders at others and get what they want the commoners had to work for everything they had but because of a lot of the Nobles and Royals of the history there were a lot of things that they were unable to afford.  Anyway, Mrs. Rhiannon owned her own Trucking line and was an independent truck driver. Well  this particular holiday season she was called on by a very special family she had grown up around over the years. they asked her to drive what they call the Christmas truck because what  was in the trailer of that special truck what's going to save this one town utter destruction.   well the week before Christmas Mrs. Rhiannon packed it up And headed out for the town of Lincoln Falls which was apparently somewhere in Alaska. they drove for the longest time she and her brother but always called back to her family in order to keep them up-to-date as to where she was she dropped off her load and was on her way back first few days before Christmas Eve when she was supposed to call she did not.   the truck had been found jackknifed into a snowbank on her way back to her family but there was no sign of her or her brother come to find out she and her brother had been rescued by a stranger but this was no ordinary stranger at least I did not think so according to Rhiannon  The Stranger had seen what it happened the snow so hard to see through Rihanna's lost control of the truck and hit the snowbank almost burying the big truck in the snow. The Stranger welcome them back to his home where they could get warm and wait out the blizzard that it hit for what seemed like several days the blizzard blew and blew and blew and by the time it finally stopped Rescuers had found the truck and we're working diligently to dig it out  Rhiannon and her brother had wakened from the sound of someone digging around the in the snow around the truck they were thankful that they had been spared. when they told the dispatcher about what happened and who had helped them they did not at first believe what she said come to find out the stranger name was Liam Alexander that is the name he gave us Rhiannon declared but that is impossible the dispatcher replied Liam Alexander died back in 1956 due to snow storm this just as this one was it couldn't have been him come to find out Rihanna looked in the direction they had gone towards  Liam's house but all she saw for miles and miles with nothing but snow but he was here she protested he saved us we were we were in his house. Liam Alexander was quite the angel back in the day he was always doing everything humanly possible to help all the families who were unable to have anything extra for like Christmas and whatever else even those who were struggling financially and otherwise he would always do what he could to help the night he died he was on the same kind of run you heard the song Angels Among Us by Alabama the dispatch arrest well yeah of course who hasn't Rihanna declared that song tells a story quite literally the dispatcher said I believe there are Angels Among Us sent down to us from somewhere up above They come to you and me In our darkest hours to show us how to live pto teach us how to give and to guide us with the light of love. the dispatcher took Rhiannon to the cemetery and showed her Liam's tombstone with that Epitaph written in the Stone.   Liam James Alexander born March 25th 1936 died December 16th 1956 he was an angel Among Us and he will always be remembered and loved He was only 20 years old the dispatcher said but in his short  years of life he gave more of himself did many others ever thought about. Rhiannon continued home that night and when she finally walked in her door Christmas morning her husband sons and daughter as well as their new neighbors were there to greet her relieved that she made it home safely the last thing she said before she went to bed herself if it was not for Liam Alexander I would not be here today no matter what happens my children never take strangers for granted because when you least expect it they could very well be angels in disguise.

“ it was amazing.” Camila gushed. “ is Miss Rhiannon still alive? I would have loved to have been able to have met her.”

“ well actually you already have.”  Queen Seidre  replied. “ she was me in my younger years. and it was the last run I made before I returned to my husband and my children and my reign as Queen of Thaddea.”

“ all right you guys that's enough stories for now.”  Maxwell called. “ the ballroom the snacks and everything is ready time to get this party on and Christmas Jamboree kicking into high gear let's go you guys come on what do you want stories later.   it is time for presents let's go let's go.”

 as everyone began to move out of the playroom and head back to the ballroom the king embraced his Queen before she left.” I will have to admit that this is the first of the best Christmases ever put together my love.”  he replied. “ I look forward to a whole lifetime of more to come to watching our children grow up happy and healthy to being together and finally living in peace here so much I want to do.   you have a very thoughtful look on your face my queen is there something on your mind?”

“ I got some test results back from dr. Ramirez the other day.”  the queen announced. “ I did not want to say anything and get your hopes up until I knew for sure but now that I do…”

“ oh my goodness Queen Reimeiko what is it?” King Karyson asked. “ please do not leave me on tenterhooks what is going on?”

“ it seems that Rhiannon and the twins are going to be having a sibling or two soon.” Reimeiko replied.

“ wait, what? seriously baby?” Karyson asked. “ this is beyond any shadow of a doubt the best news all day and one of the best Christmas gifts ever.   oh now we had to make this big announcement and now.”

“ we will in due time but for now let us just enjoy the peace and quiet of the celebration and not worry about telling everybody else any more than what we already have.”  the queen replied. “ I definitely do not want a repeat every Rhiannon and the twins first year”

“ oh good point my love.”  King replied. “ now come on we have a celebration to enjoy.”

 the Cordonian King and his Queen return to join the others in the big Christmas celebration relieved to have made it through their first two years despite all the shortcomings trials and tribulations they have had to face from the beginning.  as she watched her husband her family and her friends celebrate the Christmas holidays, Reimeiko  knew  that no matter what the future held, they would always face everything together as a family as a unit as a very strong compassionate loving and caring Kingdom.

The End