#they were gonna throw it all away so i just yoinked it

[flowery-laser-blasts]

Emotion sickness but with Ron and Dr. Drakken.

This is my take on how an alternative emotion sickness episode would go. We need to see more emotional boys. It's also long because it's the ENTIRE episode but with changes.

The episode starts off the same but instead of Drakken managing to get on his hover pad, he and Ron end up fighting/bickering and get semi in the way of Kim and Shego's fight. Either Kim or Shego falls back and bumps into the duo causing them to fall against the bookshelf and get the moodulator chips stuck against their necks. Drakken is slightly dazed and gets hit in the face with the EMA (thrown by Shego), but he manages to hold onto it. Then he gets yoinked by Shego by his collar. Ron picks up moodulator remote and they return to Middleton. The episode then continues as follows: KIM AND RON -At Kim's house- Ron: "KP! Those breakfast Nacos aren't gonna eat themselves." Ron leans back but the moodulator remote in his pocket gets activated by the shift in weight. Ron's lip starts trembling and he starts sobbing. Kim runs into the kitchen. Kim: "Ron? What's wrong??" Ron: "I was in your way KP, we ended up losing that invention thingie to Drakken and Shego because of meeee!" Kim sighs and pats his shoulder Kim: "Ron? Uhm, do you know where the Kimmunicator is?" Ron: "Oh, no worries KP" he sniffles and rubs his sleeve against his nose "I got it, it's here." he holds the moodulator controller up to Kim. Kim: "Ron, this is not the Kimmunicator." Ron: "It isn't!? Oh noooo!!  I can't believe I lost the Kimmunicator as well! Waaaahh!" he sobs loudly. SHEGO AND DRAKKEN -At the lair- Shego: "Ey- Oi, Dr. D," Shego snaps her fingers in Drakken's face, "We escaped and got the 'whatchamahooey'. Shouldn't you be overjoyed and start over explaining your newest master plan to me?" Drakken: "Yeah, but... But...but... I broke a nail!" Shego: "Really? You care about your nails?" Drakken starts nodding rapidly with stifled sobs. Shego sighs and hands him her nail file. Drakken takes it and tries to desperately save his manicure.

KIM AND RON -At Kim's house- Rufus: "Oh, there, there." Rufus tries to comfort Ron. Kim: "Look, Ron, It's not big; we've lost the kimmunicator before, right?" Ron: "I know we did! When will the carelessness end?" Ron says as he throws the moodulator controller over his shoulder onto the ground, anger gets activated. Kim: "You know, your breakfast Nacos are getting cold so how about we reheat them in the microwave and get to school? Wade can find the Kimmunicator back." Ron: "I don't want those stupid Nacos anymore!" Ron shoves it away, Kim catches it just in time before it falls onto the floor. Ron: "You just want to go to school early so you can tell Wade that I lost the Kimmunicator, again! And then we can all laugh at Ron's expense while you look like little miss perfect. Yeah right! I'm going to school alone and tell this news to Wade myself!" Ron storms off, Rufus looks worried at Kim. SHEGO AND DRAKKEN -At the lab- Drakken is throwing an anger tantrum, files are spread out around the lab like confetti and cabinets are toppled over. Shego is leaning against a pillar and rolling her eyes. Shego: "Look, I get it, you were obviously upset about your broken nail." Drakken stops in his tracks and looks at Shego over his shoulder. Drakken: "Meaning...?" Shego: "Meaning that you were overreacting." Drakken's face scrunches up and he marches over towards Shego in a rather threatening manner. Even she is slightly taken aback by it. Drakken: "Overreacting? Overreacting?! Me?! I-" Drakken hits his toe hard against one of the fallen cabinets and screams out in pain curling up in a fetal position. Shego isn't sure what to do; help him up or let him be. Shego: "You know what Doc? You go figure it out, I'm going to let you cool down and when I get back, you've better cleaned up the lab and started on our doomsday thing." Shego walks towards the lab exit.

-Jim and Tim find the Moodulator controller and mess around.-

Drakken becomes sad and runs over and stands in between the exit and Shego. Drakken: "W-Wait Shego I'm so sorry, please don't leave me! I don't know what I'd do without you!" his mood gets changed from sad back to anger Drakken: "But you'd like to know, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you?! Wha... Uh... What was I talking about?" Shego cocks her eyebrow and crosses her arms Shego: Did I forget your birthday? Is that what this is about? KIM AND RON -At school at Kim's locker- Kim: "Ron what's wrong with you?! You made Big Mike cry!" Ron: "Oh trust me KP, the guy had it coming! And if I see Drakken and Shego, I'll make them cry too!" Kim: "Right... Speaking of them, I wonder what they are scheming..." Ron's mood rapidly changes to happy. Ron: "I have no idea, but I know that together, you and I, we as a team can stop them!" Ron's mood changes to sad. Ron: "...Unless I let them get away, again." Kim: "Ron, are you okay?" Ron snaps into anger. Ron: "Why? What do you mean by that?" Kim notices Josh and Tara passing by. Kim: "Oh, I see... It's okay Ron." Ron: "What do you mean, 'okay'?" Kim shakes it off because talking about Tara and Josh might be a bit too much for Ron now. Kim: "Nevermind, let's go to class. The Kimmunicator can wait" Kim grabs Ron's hand to drag him away from the 'situation', at this point his emotions shift to 'love' They arrive at their class. Kim: "Uhm, Ron? You can let go of my hand now." Ron: "What, oh- uh, yeah. Well, haha-" Ron stumbles to his seat and sighs keeping his eyes on Kim. Bonnie: "Some things are just too weird to even think about". SHEGO AND DRAKKEN -Back at the lab- Shego returns back to the lab after seemingly going out for some errands. She notices to her horror that Drakken is tinkering with her tanning light. Shego: "Dr. D, I give you 5 seconds to explain what you're doing with my tanning-" Drakken quickly zooms to her side and leads her towards her cozy spot in the lab. Drakken: "I've made modifications to the electron magneto accelerator and with a push of the button, it will super-charge this ordinary lamp to optimize your tanning experience" Drakken presses the button, a huge blinding light flashes and the chair underneath the lamp vaporizes. Shego's hands flare up and she is about to fire but Drakken instantly is next to her with a credit card ready in hand Drakken: "How about I buy you a brand new more luxurious tanning bed AND we go out shopping for new outfits and to an all-inclusive high-end spa?" Shego looks from Drakken to the credit card back to him. A tad weirded out but hey he pays for it. Shego: "You know what, alright." Drakken: "Oh goodie! Let me grab my swimming trunks!" and he sprints off.

The lovey-dovey montage now engages. - Drakken takes Shego to a spa. She's in literal heaven but gets a bit surprised when Drakken suddenly tries feeding her grapes. She -cautiously- accepts it but then seems okay with it. She closes her eyes again and eats the grapes he offers, not noticing that Drakken is sneering and glaring daggers at the very nervous masseur. - Ron takes Kim to an empty Bueno Nacho and sits her down at a booth. He snaps his fingers and a whole mariachi band emerges from behind the counter and joins in with the background music for this part of the scene. Ron rushes into the kitchen and comes back out again revealing an entire DIY Naco platter in the shape of Kim's face surrounded by a heart-shaped border of tortilla chips. Kim blushes hard and is very surprised at this. Rufus licks his mouth and tries to dive into it but Ron stops him and tosses him aside so he can sit close to Kim. Rufus catches himself and grumbles crossing his arms. - Shego and Drakken are now shopping around. Drakken pulls her into a very fancy and expensive-looking store, Shego doesn't mind and actually seems to be enjoying herself. Shego tries on some different outfits and Drakken approves all of them, giving a thumbs up as he takes out his credit card and pays for the clothes. KIM AND RON -At the school's Gym- Kim: "Hey, Monique? Do you have a sec?" Monique: "Yeah Kim, what's up?" Kim looks around carefully before speaking, making Monique cock her eyebrow. Kim: "It's about Ron." Monique: "You're in a pickle, huh?" Monique laughs. Kim: "This is so not funny Monique, I think-- I think Ron's actually crushing on ME." Kim grabs both sides of her hair squeezing it together. She looks distressed. Monique: "Okay, first of all: breathe girl. Secondly, it does explain why all of a sudden he starts taking more care in his appearance. You seen him? I had to make a double take this morning before algebra class to make sure it was him and not some exchange student!" Kim: "Yes, I know... And it's freaking me out! It's not the Ron I know!" Monique: "So, if it were the Ron you knew, you'd be down for dating?" Kim: "Wait, wha--, NO! Of course not! Ron and I are just friends! We've been so since kindergarten!" Monique: "And...that's it? You're sure that there're no other feels?" Kim: "I-- I well" Kim starts blushing harder clearly thinking back of the other day "I don't know. Yesterday he went out of his way to make some kind of romantic dinner in his own Ronny-way." Monique: "Awwww girl! That's cute-- was it cute?" Kim snaps back to reality Kim: "Well, if you consider your face being made up of various meats, cheeses and beans; and then being eaten cute-- then I guess cute." Monique: "You want my advice?" Kim: "I'm all ears." Monique: "Give it a chance, who knows! Maybe you two are meant to be. If he goes out of his way to do all of this, maybe he's the one- in his sort of Ronnish-ways." Kim: "What?! Monique! He's my friend- ugh! This conversation has never happened, he can never know about-- He's standing behind me isn't he?" Kim turns around and almost smacks into Ron who's standing literal inches away from her.

Ron: "Hey KP!" Kim: "Ron! Hi! Uhm- hey, could we? Get somewhere private? I've got something important I want to discuss." Ron: "Wow, I was just about to say the same thing! It's like we are thinking the same-- Wait, no! First me! Hold on, I've been practicing this for twentyten--" Ron takes a second to count on his fingers, "Thirty hours straight! Whatever you want to discuss with me has to wait, because I'm going to ask you first!" Kim: "Ask me what?" Kim looks confused but it quickly turns into nervosity as Ron kneels down on one knee and holds out a little box, it's revealed to be a pickle-shaped brooch. Monique: "Oh...my...gosh." Ron: "Kimberly-Ann Possible, we've known each other ever since we were little and you defeated my bullies -who strangely enough look very familiar to me- and saved me and the world multiple times over and over again from super freaks. You are the light of my life and I want to be with you forever and ever. Tonight's the big Middleton Days festival, and I don't have a date, would you do me the honor of being yours?" Kim gets fidgety and gulps, not expecting this and actually feels herself blush deeply. Kim: "Date? You want to go to the festival as my date?" Ron: "YES! YES I DO! BOOOYAAAH! I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 7!" Ron jumps into the air and runs off before Kim realizes what happened. Kim: "Oh no... what have I done."

KIM AND ANN -At Kim's house- Kim: "OK, so Ron and I have been best friends forever. Maybe dating is the next step. I mean, what's not there to like about Ron? I mean, he's funny, cute, dependable and dating could be-- the next step?." Ann watches as her daughter paces around the place. "Ooo! Why didn't I stop him?! Why didn't I just say it was a misunderstanding!? What if this ruins our friendship, Mom? I don't want to hurt him and end up breaking his heart again!" Kim sighs and drops on her bed. Ann: "Again?" Ann looks surprised. Kim: "Long story..." SHEGO AND DRAKKEN -At some fancy restaurant- Shego and Drakken and seated far apart from the rest of the dinner guests with a view of the city below them. Shego is finishing her dessert when she notices that Drakken has been staring at her this entire time. He still hasn't touched his appetizer, main course, or dessert which is now balancing on the edge of the table. Shego slams her spoon down on the plate and crosses her arms, squinting her eyes at him. Shego: "Okay, spill. You've been acting all-" Drakken cuts her off by holding his hand up in front of her to speak. Drakken: "Shego, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Shego: "Uh- Actually, I'm going to be real with you here Dr. D; after the past days, I'm not really sure what you're thinking anymore." Drakken: "Go on! Guess!" he looks eagerly, making Shego a bit uneasy. Shego: "Uhm... "How am I going to keep a good credit score after all this splurging?"." She gets startled as Drakken lets out a loud laugh. Drakken: "No, silly. Don't worry about that!" Shego: "Right, okay, heh-" Shego gulps, looking around, "then what were you... thinking about?" Drakken: "I was thinking it's time for some evil!" Shego lets out an elated sigh. Shego: "Finally! Phew- for a second there I thought you were about to propose to me-" Drakken's face gets flushed and a big grin appears Drakken: "I mean if you-" Shego pinches Drakken's lips closed. Shego: "No- let's ignore what I just said and focus again: Are we talking about "Take over the world evil"?" Drakken nods his head frantically. Shego lets go of his lips. Drakken: "I know just where to begin... Middleton days." Shego: "Gosh, I feel like I should say something sarcastic, but hey, the night's still young. Let's get you a doggy bag and-" Drakken cuts her off once again. Drakken: "And I'll be your date!" Shego: "Say my what now?" Drakken: "Your date? You know? Evil boy meets evil girl?" The two of them get interrupted by the waiter bringing the dinner bill. Shego takes a glance at it takes in a sharp breath looks back at Drakken with an apologetic smile, sliding the bill across the table towards him. Shego: "Ah, yes, fine. Um, evil date it is!"

KIM AND RON -At Kim's house- Kim finds the Moodulator controller on the table and frowns, Kim: "Ron's been acting strange ever since that mission-" James: "Oh Kimmie-cub, Ronald's here!" Kim puts the moodulator controller in her purse and rushes over to the hallway. Kim: "Hey Ro-, Ro-- Ron?" Kim is flabbergasted by Ron's transformation. His hair is combed neatly. He's wearing an actual not oversized suit and he seems to have a sudden boost of confidence. Ron: "You like it? I wanted to look perfect just for you. But- But not too perfect. 'Cause, ya know; you're perfect. You can do anything so- heh heh." James: "Riiiiiight- Well then, you kids have fun and Ron have Kimmy home by-" Ron: "10 o'clock but on special occasions and rescue missions, it's extended to 11. But no worries Mr Dr. P. We'll be back far before 10 sharp. It's a Ron Stoppable promise!" James blinks in surprise as Ann laughs it off.

-AT THE MIDDLETON DAY'S FAIR- Man: "And the prize goes to our winning rocket ranger." Ron: "Uh, Boo-yah! Here you go KP! It really wasn't that much of a big-dill." Ron giggles at his own joke as he hands Kim the pickle-shaped plush. Kim: "Heh heh. Um, yeah, boo-yah. Look, we need to talk." Ron: "Alright KP, I'm listening!" Kim: "OK, so, Ron... We've known each other for a long time. We're a great team, and..." As kim puts the plush in her purse, she hits the moodulator controller by accident. Ron: "Ha ha, team! Ha ha ha! Yeah, you said team." Kim: "Ron, I'm being serious here! I'm seriously worried about you! About us!" Kim puts her purse down roughly, making the moodulator controller switch once more. Ron: "Oh? And why's that?! Is there something going on I should know about?" Kim: "What? No-- Ron. You're acting so weird and I thought, maybe it's because of the Kimmunicator sitch and, you know; Josh and Tara-" Kim lowers her head in defeat, not knowing what to say. She leans against the purse and thus the moodulator controller. Ron: "Are you- Are you breaking up with me?" Kim: "Yeah Ron... I guess-- I guess I am." Kim can't help but to tear up. Ron: "Oh, I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I... Oh! You're just using me as a rebound guy" Ron runs away as he cries loudly. As soon as Kim notices, she gets up and runs after until she notices the Kimmunicator flying towards her. She catches it mid-air. Kim: "The Kimmunicator!" Cyrus: "Aha! Spy!" Kim: "Professor Cyrus! There must've been a misunderstanding, you see, during our last mission, we must've accidentally picked this up instead of our Kimmunicator!" Kim shows Cyrus the Moodulator controller. Cyrus: "My moodulator controller!" He grabs it from Kim's hands "This controls my moodulators!" Kim: "Uh- Moodulator? What does the Moodulator controller do, professor Cyrus?" Shego: "Dr. D, come on. Let's concentrate." She snaps her fingers in front of Drakken's face, "Can we just focus on turning that laser into a death ray? Just tell me how to do it and then I'll do it myself so you can go continue- whatever it is you're doing right now." Drakken sobs harder, Shego shields herself from incoming tears. Drakken: "You're leaving in my time of need." He wails, curling up on the ground. Shego grimaces and carefully takes the EMA from his grasp. Shego: "No, no, no, no. I'll be right back! Just stay right here and- uh- figure things out." Drakken: "I'm not gonna forgive you for this... Ever!"

Shego walks over towards the parade but gets bumped into by the crying Ron. The EMA falls and breaks, enraging Shego. She looks over at Ron as she flares up her hands. Shego: "Ugh! Has everyone lost it!?" She notices Ron looking awfully depressed and smirks. "Where there's a sidekick, there's a world-saving cheerleader. I guess this could be fun."

Shego arrives just in time to hear the last bit of information. Kim: "So this device had complete control of Ron all along?" Cyrus: "Precisely. With just the press of a button..." Ron: "KIM!" Ron cries out as Shego has him in her grasp. Kim: "Shego! Let him go!" Shego: "As you wish princess, catch!" Shego throws Ron as hard as she possibly can at Professor Cyrus. Kim tries to catch Ron but both of them bump into Cyrus, who falls over and lets go of the Moodulator. Shego catches it and flips through the different emotions. She instantly sees the changes in Ron. Shego: "So that's why Dr. D has been acting so off lately. But hey, not that he's any less weird without this thing. But total control over him is not such a bad idea-- HEY!" Shego growls as Kim kicks the moodulator controller out of her hands. It falls into a fountain and starts malfunctioning.

Professor Cyrus runs over to the fountain and fishes out the controller. He gasps. Cyrus: "Oh no! The circuits have been fried!" Kim: "So that means everything's back to normal, right?" Cyrus: "I'm afraid your friend is now locked into an irreversible frenzy of rage." Ron: "Grrr." Cyrus: "So I hope he's not angry at anybody because whoosh! That'd be bad." Ron: "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU USED ME AS A REBOUND GUY, KIM!" Kim starts dodging Ron's attacks as he starts using Monkey Kung Fu on her. Shego: "Wow, that sidekick's actually not half that bad..." Shego hears footsteps behind her and manages to jump away in time. Drakken tries attacking her and he seems to be fuming. Drakken: "Shego. After all that I gave to you, you keep on asking for more, and don´t hesitate to toss me aside! You know what that does to a man?!" Shego: "Let me guess, mad?" Shego engages in combat with Drakken. He tries to pull on her hair and retorts to try to bite her. She manages to evade him and ties his hands up behind his back by using his belt. Drakken grits his teeth growling lowly pushing back and trying to undo his hands. Shego: "You know, all of this is the fault of those teens. If it weren't for those two, we would've been rulers over the world already!" Shego smirks as she notices something click inside of Drakken's mind and she steers the enraged man back to Kim and Ron.

Kim: "Ron, Chill out. It's me!" Kim gets worn out and actually starts growing tired of dodging the punches. Ron: "Yeah? Kim the heartbreaker!" As Ron tries to punch again, Kim gets blasted to the side by Shego. She laughs as she holds Drakken in check who's trying to get out of her grasp and towards Kim. Shego: "HA! I can't believe it was that easy!" Seeing Kim struggling to get up makes Ron snap he can't stand the sight of it and his moodulator chip breaks. Ron: "Kim, I... I can't... KIM!" Ron runs over to her and glares at Drakken and Shego. Shego lets go of Drakken and he charges forward, however, Ron manages to get a hold of him, plant his heels into the ground and push him back using his monkey kung fu to make Drakken fly back into Shego, in turn, breaking his moodulator chip upon impact. Drakken is knocked out and Shego cries out in frustration as she lies in an uncomfortable spot that's not easy to get out of. Ron holds out his hand for Kim and she takes it. He carefully helps her back to her feet and wraps her arm around his shoulder so she can lean on him. Ron: "I'm so, so sorry Kim... I just-" Kim hushes him and smiles gently. Kim: "It's okay, Ron. So not the drama." Ron: "So I... I guess the crush and everything was all moodulator, huh?" Kim: "Yeah, I guess so..." both of them look away slightly, a hint of sadness on both their faces. Kim takes a deep breath and is about to say something but then fireworks go off. Both of them stare up at the sky in awe at the display of colors. They catch a glance at each other and smile, leaning a bit into each other's embrace.

Massive thanks to @creatorping for reading parts of it and discussing this! I absolutely loved her idea of Drakken being an enraged biter and it's just GHHH Also entirely grateful to kpfanworld.com for having these transcripts at the ready! This was a lot of fun to rewrite! I hope you liked it! :D

[charlesjosephwrites]

Find the Word Tag

Thanks for the tag @lady-grace-pens!

I'll tag @junypr-camus, @winterandwords, @kellanwrites, and anyone else who sees this and wants to jump in on the tag with the words worry, want, current, joke, and shiver. As always, no pressure, though!

My words were sun, free, bird, please, and will! I couldnt find the word bird in this draft, here are the rest of the words, pulled from my wip The Magician and Ms. Psychic!

SUN

My mouth gaped open in shock as I looked over her new outfit. I looked her up and down, trying to find a place to rest my gaze that didn’t make me want to rip my own eyeballs out with an ice cream scoop, but it was all terrible. Her tights were a shade of yellow so bright that I felt like I was staring directly into the surface of the sun. Her dress was mostly a light shade of blue, but for some godforsaken reason, her left sleeve was covered in stripes of yellow and black that made it look like her arm was turning into a fucking bumblebee. The bright pink cape billowing out in the non-existent wind behind her did absolutely nothing to tie her color scheme together. And, as if none of that was bad enough, the off-center fanny pack strapped around her waist was the absolute worse shade of baby shit green that had ever assaulted my eyeballs.

FREE

“You gotta promise me one more thing.” Ms. Psychic sighed. “What do you want now?” “You give that kid a stern talking to.” I stomped my foot. “He’s gonna get himself hurt if he doesn’t stop throwing himself at any supervillain that crosses his path.” The keys wiggled themselves free from my grip, and they flew right into Ms. Psychic’s outstretched hand. “You can count on that much.”

PLEASE

Claire sighed. “I told you, I have a test—” “Next week,” I interrupted. “Which means you’ll have plenty of time to study later.” “I can’t just put it off.” “Yes you can. Come cuddle me.” “I’m sorry, but— hey.” Claire cut herself off mid-sentence as I yoinked her glasses right off of her face. “Give those back.” I took a step back, holding her glasses up high over my head. “Not until you put that book away.” “April.” She held her hand out expectantly. “Please.”

WILL

“Magician.” The growled voice sent a jolt of adrenaline up my spine and a nervous twist in my stomach, but one look at Edgar’s stupid face helped me keep that scowl on my face. “You’ve got a lot of nervous showing your face around here.” “Circus Boy.” My hands curled up into tight little fists almost against my will. “You stay the fuck back or else I’m going to throw your kneecaps in the lake.”

[kuromi-hoemie]

1. i am left handed

2. I've kinda played a lot of instruments and music was a p big part of my life growing up. my favorite to play were drums for 5 years and my second favorite was bass for 3 (❁´◡`❁)

3. i also skated for a decade. like on a skateboard down stairs n roofs n big gaps kinda thing 0: i was pretty good actually lol

i go up to 15 facts but I'll put the rest under the read more :3c

@ghoul-butch @thisismenoww @babyboodle @mellueminate @tranzjen @mothgirlyuri @limedotsoda

4. i used to get free public transportation thru my old job, but when covid first hit and i didn't have access to a car i made myself an ebike 🚴🏾‍♀️ it felt p cool whizzing around town at 30 something mph on my lil grocery run

5. i have happened to come across many witches and mediums in life so far and i feel like we always find each other at the right time (❁´◡`❁) the world is so interesting and mysterious! (do not ask me about this, this is my extremely long rant topic depending on who's asking lmaoo. related to something of a lifelong passion/fascination of mine)

6. i mention it in passing but i grew up with hauntings being a very regular thing across different houses and have experienced plenty in adulthood, but not as much as me n my fam all under the same roof. ghost stuff is complicated to rant about but this is basically tied to #5

╰(￣ω￣ｏ) this childhood is sort of the basis of my framework of understanding (as opposed to a Religion)

7. i used to pierce ppl when i was 18. i was good at it and had a lot of happy clients, but i was not certified. i also didn't like this shop i was wanting to apprentice for for trying to make me do a tattoo apprenticeship too (this was also actually what killed art for me and made me stop drawing entirely for 10 years).

🚶🏾‍♀️what i ended up doing is since the shops take 50% what u get paid anyways why don't i just charge half the price. i was snatching up so many of the younger customers in my age group bc of word of mouth, affordability, and my professionalism 🙂‍↕️ i took it very seriously and even a decade later it makes me happy to think there are ppl out there still happy with what i was able to do for them, the same way i feel so great w how i look thanks to the piercer I've been coming back to myself.

8. i grew up in a small city/big town by the beach (❁´◡`❁) i remember it fondly

9. i was caught up in a love triangle w twins once and it was as messy as you probably would imagine lmaoo

10. learned how to drive a forklift before i learned how to drive a car and was so good at it i had ppl w decades of experience watch me try to fit something on a rack and they'd be like “there's no way you're gonna make that fit” well guess fucking WHAT buddy!!! 💅🏾 every time, i loved having a lil audience

11. i lived next to this old lady who grew and sold hella weed and i also got one of my favorite pets from her. she gave me a little albino rat 🥺 the weed was funny bc we were a few blocks away from the police station actually pre-legalization 😹 she was cool as hell. she'd splice peyote w some other kind of cactus and in doing so u could harvest it in just 2 years i think? and it's supposed to take much longer otherwise, i never got to try it but that sounds cool

12. on that note I've tried salvia before which was rly funny and stupid but also so wild ajdjska. if u feel like u will still be fully present and aware no you will not lmfao i got yoinked into another reality in the middle of some prison break plot lmao 😭

13. i used to throw knives when i was younger and i got back into throwing knives again recently, and also am giving the spikes a try this time (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) very fun

14. i do 3D modeling and electrical engineering as a hobby sometimes but i ONLY am ever compelled to do it when it's for taking care of plants. my dream would be to have a huge lab complex with different zones for different climates for growing different kinds of plants separated by their general purpose (ie spices, medicinal herbs, fruits n veggies etc). but a bunch of others too just bc they're neat. i rly wanna play around w hydroponics and think being able to fully automate plant care and learning how to care for all of them sounds rly nice (❁´◡`❁) i could settle for a greenhouse too ♡⁠ apartment indoor gardening it is though huh (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)

15. i have never had a straight era. when i was little i knew of LGB and straight ppl but didn't ever see myself as belonging to one or thought about it. i watched the music video for Im Not Okay and Frank kissing Gerard immediately made me realize and instantly accept that i was bisexual. being bisexual has always been pretty matter of fact to me and as a kid i didn't hide it but didn't rly feel the need to talk about it either unless u asked lol. but like. i was never questioning, i wasn't even ever straight and i think that's really funny. i didn't get to intentionally explore myself as a queer person until my early 20s but i have always been surrounded by queer ppl and that's rly nice 👼🏾

if you get this, answer with three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs! anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog <3 (absolutely no pressure)

I didnt have my first friend in the same grade that stayed my friend until 4th grade

My Choir teacher was in a hallmark movie

My favorite class is band

@hold-my-dr-pepper @somewhatcompetent @beechaotic @angel-and-the-serpent @babyqueenfangirl @definitelynotriana @smokee-bee (Sorry smokee!)

[chocoenvy]

"i hate that i still care for you" part 2

part one part three

please i was listening to a song and it was such bomb inspiration for this. i just NEED this kind of angst in my life okay? It's fun. it highkey doesn't feel like a part two but it's set in the same timeline, universe, etc. so it fits it's fine

Warnings: Gore (not that hardcore or in-depth but g o r e), cult behaviors, slight platonic yandere behavior, cursing, angst

"I thought I loved you but then I saw the rain. I blinked, you were not the same."

You had caught wind of something odd happening. The sky was odd, darker than usual in the bright Mondstat. The birds worriedly fluttered around you before flying away. Young animals sought sanctuary around you. The wind had picked up speed, and the earth was worried (it was an odd thing to say but when you had described the feeling to Zhongli he seemed to understand).

You followed the wind and asked the animals where the problem was, "I'll take care of it." You comfortingly pet the young boars and foxes.

You rushed there, the worry from the passing wildlife making you nervous. You could hear the commotion from afar and you ran to find out what was happening. You arrived and found three angry archons standing over a poor soul on the ground.

"Imposter!" Zhongli rumbled, the earth shaking with him. His shout made you flinch hard. Covering your head with your hands and ducking under cover. "How dare you impersonate our god!"

"I'm not-!"

"Quiet!" Venti shouted.

That's not my windborne bard. You shivered, That's not the archon of freedom.

"You will not defame our god this way." The sky blackened with Ei's voice.

The anger, the fury in their voices sent shivers down your spine. You were frozen behind your cover, hiding from the archons like you had to do so many times before. Your breathing and heart rate rapidly picked up pace, begging you to run, but you were frozen.

They're going to kill me. They're gonna find me. They're gonna kill me. Run run run run run! Your legs were useless though, you merely gripped onto your head desperately. Wishing you would just dissapear.

"Stop-!" A voice cried desperately, a sob choking them.

This isn't about me. You whipped your head around, peaking out to see red blood staining the ground. The poor person clutching an arm they no longer had. Their eyes were wild with fear and the same color as yours.

Zhongli's spear was coated in blood.

Anger sparked in your chest, quickly catching fire and spreading to every corner of your body until you were shaking from rage.

You stood up, confidence in your godly abilites making you unafriad (how quick you could open up the character screen and yoink their five star weapons and artifacts for yourself).

"Stop!" You screamed. They froze. Their eyes almost as afraid as the poor writhing person on the ground.

You immediately ran to their side, you frankly didn't know jack shit about healing but your inventory was stock full of healing items. You opened it up and pulled out what you could, praying it would be enough.

"Shh, shh," You cooed, "It's hard but can you please eat this for me? It'll make you feel better, I promise."

They sniffled, taking a hesitant bite out of it. They didn't look in the mood to eat, in fact they looked ready to throw up, but they obeyed you anyways.

They immediately looked relieved, and their bleeding slowed down a bit.

"Can you take another bite? Please?" You pratically begged, holding it up to their lips.

They shakily did so.

"Your-"

"Shut. Up." You growled, refusing to look at them, "I'll deal with you three later."

It took all of your will to not tighten your grip on the food or the poor person, but you continued to feed them until the food was gone and they were completely healed. Sadly, you didn't think you'd be able to get them their left arm back.

"You're-" They hiccuped, "Thank-thank you." They sniffled, their breathing so erratic they could barely speak, "I'm- so-sorry-"

"No, you have nothing to apologize for." Your gaze softened, "I'm sorry I let this happen to you. Please. Breath with me okay?"

"O-okay."

You used all the techniques you knew and could think of the calm the person down, ordering the archons to go away, you'd talk to them later.

Once they were calm, they pratically passed out in your arms. You sighed in relief, they seemed okay to you at least but you needed to get them a doctor. You pursed your lips and closed your eyes, holding onto the person tight. When you opened your eyes, you were at your teapot realm, Albedo and Sucrose sitting near where you had teleported to.

"Albedo!" You called, "Sucrose!" The two perked up and looked at you, "Come here I need your help!" At the panic in your tone, the two rushed as quickly as they could to your side.

"Your grace? What's-?"

"They're hurt! Bad! They didn't do anything wrong and need help please!" You passed the person to Albedo, who cautiously carried them.

"Your grace, we don't have all the supplies here-" Albedo muttered.

"I can get us to your lab, please, we just need to make sure they're okay."

They couldn't say no to you, especially with how desperate you looked. You left the person with Albedo and Sucrose, albeit reluctently, but they were loyal. They would listen to you.

Your fists clenched.

The archons didn't.

You summoned the archons to your throne room where Khaenri'ah was being rebuilt as extra salt in the wound. You had dissmissed everyone else, so it was only the four of you.

They begged immediately. Squabbling words like fucking rats.

"What had I told you?" You gritted your teeth.

They hesitated, and you wanted to throw something.

"To not hurt someone that looked like you." They muttered.

It made your stomach squirm and heart palpitate in rage at how much they looked like children being scolded. They weren't children, they had almost murdered someone for looking like you.

You opened your mouth but then it hit you.

They weren't scared of you.

You should've been glad, you wanted to be glad.

They were supposed to be your lovely friends. Softly playing the lyre, amazing tea reccomendations, beautiful jewelery, flowers, gliding together, stories from centuries ago, calming rain, playing in the rain, trips to the sacred sakura.

They were supposed to be how the game depicted. When you were just friends with them and not a god, they were amazing. But their devotion was too powerful.

They weren't friends anymore, they were out of line worshipers.

"I had told you that if there was somebody purposefully trying to impersonate me then I would deal with it." You growled, "Does my word mean nothing to you?"

"No! Your grace it's just..." Venti protested, "We didn't want them to have any priveledge of seeing you. Of being in your presence. We wanted them to be hurt so they'd never even think of doing it again."

There was a sadistic gleam in Venti's eyes. You couldn't shake it. There was no sign of that in the game, or whenever he talked to or about anyone else.

You glared down at them, "The amount of faith the three of you have in me is disspointing and damn near insulting. I can take care of this problem without nearly murdering someone. It shouldn't even be a problem!" You threw your hands in the air, your vision colored red, "You treated me the same way! I never wanted to see that again and yet you refused to listen to me!" Tears pricked the back of your eyes threateningly, "That person now has to live with the same fear I do for something they can't change! I have the power to stop unecessary violence and yet when I tell you to do something! You refused to listen!"

You were breathing heavily, your vision and fists shaking. The three archons were on their knees, their tears dripping on the floor, and their limbs shaking from fear and shame.

No, not fear. They still don't fear me.

The anger dissipated, just a bit, replaced with indifference and dissapointment. "How many chances have I given you three? With how much you've hurt me." You muttered more to yourself, but they still heard.

They stayed silent.

You sighed, leanded back in your throne, and hummed, "Do you archons have regeneration abilities?" You smiled. It was empty and didn't reach your eyes.

[sukunasfourtheye]

Late Night Texts- Eren x reader

Minors DNI, 18+ Adult Content 🔞

Masterlist

Summary: It’s midnight, you’re kinda tipsy, and you text your friend Eren.

Warnings: Smut smut smut, minors DNI. This is pure pure fucking filth. Yoinks.

Contains: swearing, sexting/texting, sexting turned to FaceTime sex/phone sex, dirty talk, ‘good girl” used multiple times, masturbation

Words: 1.2k

Note from the author: I personally have such a thing for phone sex/sexting so much so this is a personal fav gahhhhhh. I debated this being a Levi or Eren fic but feel like Levi would literally just get up and go to your house and wouldn’t have the patience for sexting LOL so Eren it was

———————*~*~*~*~—————-*~*~*~*~*~————

>>> heeeeeeey haha whats upp

Eren raised an eyebrow as he glanced down at your text. Hmm, he thought. Kinda late. He squinted at the clock on his night stand that read 12:31am.

> Sup 

Probably just bored, he thought. He hit send, and not even 15 seconds later his phone *dings* again.

>>> nothing hahaha kinda tipsy but oh well

He hated to admit it, but he felt a small flutter in his chest reading your reply. You’d been friends for a while, but he never picked up on any flirty vibes from you, but drunk texting at midnight? Hmm...

> Fun. Did you go out?

>>> yeah clubbing with sashaaaa haha so fun:) you shoulda caaaaaame

Ok, this is definitely flirty, he thought. The thought of you in a tight dress, all dolled up, swaying on a dancefloor....phew.

> Damn, yeah I should’ve come. Would’ve been fun seeing you.

He hesitates, thinking he’s definitely breaching into flirty territory with this one. He thinks, fuck it before he presses send.

His phone *dings* and he sees the text preview on his home screen:

>>> [y/n] sent you a snap!

>>> now you see me :)

His excitement started to grow as he saw the Snapchat and text double notification on his screen. Despite himself, he felt his cock twitch in his boxers, and he reflexively reached his hand down to start to rub himself lazily.

He opens the Snapchat notification.

It’s a video of you laying in bed, your phone held up at arms length, smiling with your tongue sticking out playfully. You were wearing a strapless v-neck leather top and tight black pants, your face alight with glittery makeup and a clear drunken stupor. Your smile was radiant.

Fuck, she’s hot, he thought. His hand had a mind of it’s own and started to rub himself through his pants, with a bit more purpose now. He groaned, shifting his hips up at his own contact. He replayed the video, stroking himself.

>>> replayed my video? ;)  

Whoops. He forgot you get notified if he replays your video. He goes to at first make an excuse (”whoops my bad”) but instead decides against it. Fuck it shes drunk maybe she’ll forget it, he thought. He hesitates, but presses send:

> Yeah, damn you look good

Why did i just send that. The tension of seeing you typing back made him even hornier, letting out another groan as his dick began hardening under his boxers.

>>> reaaaally? :) youre not too bad yourself ;)

 Oh yes. It’s showtime. 

> So that’s why you’re texting me so late. Just wanted a little attention?

> Yeah, you’re low key hot as fuck

There’s a long pause as he’s waiting for you to reply, terrified he fucked it up and went too far.

Then....you sent a voice note. He hit play:

>>> “Mmmmm... I wish you were here right now.”

Your voice is almost a moan, going straight to his dick. Fuck, she wants it. That’s so hot. His hands go inside his boxers and frees his now fully hard cock, giving it a few pumps as he does. Before he can even respond, another *ding* makes his cock twitch.

>>> Attached: Image

It’s a picture of you leaning forward towards the camera, giving a clear shot down your cleavage as you looked up at him, a mischievous smile on your lips, biting your tongue

> Pretty girl. Tease.

>>> im not teaaaasing i actually want to fuck you :p

The blunt text you sent made him gasp, his dick hot in his hands as he worked himself. 

> You’ve got a filthy fucking mouth

>>> you can make it filthier if you want ;)

Fuck. His throws his head back jerks himself faster, before stopping to squeeze the base of his cock. Fuck I want her to suck me so bad. Before he even registers what he’s doing, he hits the “Facetime” button to call you.

>>> [y/n] is unavailable for FaceTime

He groans in frustration. Fuck, i wanna see her.... she really is a fucking tease.

>>> we cant facetime right now im doing naughty thingssssss 

>>> this convo is making me crazzyyyy shhh

> Good. That’s a good girl.

>>> *Incoming Facetime call from [y/n]*

Too easy, he thinks. He chuckles as he swipes open the call. The camera is angled at the ceiling, the room dimmed. 

He chuckles into the phone. “All I had to say was ‘good girl’ and suddenly you calling me now, huh?”, he says, cocky as all hell. 

“Hmmm....”, he hears you say, drawing out the ‘mmm’ suspiciously. 

“Hmmmmm?” he questions back, mimicking you. “What’re you doing right now, [y/n]?”

“M’, Ummmmm, nothing....” he hears you say faintly, innocently, phone still pointed at the ceiling. He thought he was imagining it at first, but he can barely hear the sound of fabric shuffling and shifting on your end. 

“Nothing? Doesn’t sound like nothing, pretty girl”, he teases, stoking his now leaking cock. He sighed heavily on purpose, suggestively, making sure you heard him.

“What’re you doing right now?” you asked lightly, breathlessly.

He feels himself starting to slowly lose his restraint when he hears your breathy voice. “If I tell you, will you tell me?”, he grumbled, panting obviously now, loudly and into the phone, clearly out of breath from the effort of jerking himself off, hard

He hears you sigh, the sound of shuffling fabric getting louder. He hears you shift in bed. “Yes”, you say.

Through obvious gasps, he grills you: “You promise you gonna tell me what you’re doing, hmm, baby? You gonna tell me what you’re doing after you made me so fucking hard for you?”

He hears you moan loudly now, obviously meant for him to hear, panting.

“I’m stroking my fucking dick right now, that’s what I’m doing. I’m thinking about bending you over and fucking you stupid” he moans in unison with you, hearing himself admit it making him feel even dirtier

“Are you touching yourself, [y/n]? Your pussy wet for me? Hmm?” He hears your high-pitched moan and your body shift quickly in your bed.

“Use your words, I wanna hear that pretty little mouth say my fucking name”, he commands, heat flushing his face. 

“Ung! - Eren...ugh....” you finally mewl, sounding just as desperate as he was to cum

“Fuck i wanna stuff my cock in your mouth so fucking bad, [y/n]” he moans, babbling off strings of dirty talk, barely able to catch his breath as he gets closer and closer. “You’re a naughty little girl aren’t you? Were you touching your pussy while you were texting me? Hmmm? Dirty girl. You wanted me to make you cum, yeah?  You thinking about my dick fucking into that messy little pussy? I wanna hear you say it you needy little---ahhh! fuck. speak to me.” 

You finally break your silence: “Ugh, Eren, ah!-- you’re gonna make me--fuck, you’re gonna make me--!”

Fuck

He lets out a string of swear words, cursing through both your orgasm and his: “ah, fuck thats such a good fucking girl yes, cum for me baby, cum on daddys cock, cum on this fucking cock babe, uuung...!”

As you both catch your breath from the thrill that just ran through both your bodies, he pants “That....was hot”. 

“Yeah”, he hears you say, the camera finally moving away from the ceiling and onto you. You looked dazed, a thin sheen of sweat smudging your makeup. Still, a satisfied smiled was painted on your pretty face. “You’re so hot. Wow. I haven’t cum that hard in a long time. Next time you’ll have to come over?”

“See you then, princess”

[anarchy-and-piglins]

I had an idea for a Dark SBI Technocentric fic. Might write it? Not sure. Anyway, I wanted to share the idea with someone who might enjoy it.

So, it would be Vampire Royalty because gosh is there a ton of that. Phil, Tommy, and Wilber are the "evil" Vampire rulers of some kingdom, hellbent on controlling the world yada yada.

Techno lives in a Monarchal Theocracy that worships the Blood God. The King is viewed as the mouthpiece of the God. And years before he was born, the King gave some prophecy that a child born in the month of the Summer Solstice was destined to destroy the hearts of the vampiric scourge. So the country decides that every kid born in June is gonna get yoinked. So, all kids born in June are forced to live under the Church of the Blood God, trained every day to beat the Vampiric Empire.

Techno, of course, being one of them.

Technoblade does not believe the prophecy is true, but saying that gets him punished so he holds his tongue. He thinks it was just a really convenient way to conscript 1/12 of the entire population into a child army, but whatever.

One day when he is out doing whatever the Church told him to do, he runs into Tommy (who is spying on the country. Philza and co were not happy about the resistance growing there). Tommy's done something to get a few people rankled with him. Technoblade uses some BS church Nonsense to get the people to back off from him. Bedrockduo moment when Techno reveals (with a bit of supernatural influence) that he thought the whole thing was dumb. Cue silly moments with Tommy just enthused with the conversation. That moment in every dark SBI fic where someone decides "Yes, I want this one. Mine."

Cue epic army invasion! It's so weird! It's like they all their plans! How did they know that this plan would work? They had a spy on the inside. That's right Hercules Mul- I mean Wilber. No one even realized that the newly appointed advisor to the King was Wilber, silver tongue and all that.

The Church throws all their child soldiers at the invading army, not caring how young they are. If they can walk and hold a knife, they are shoved out to fight. Technoblade fights like the monster he is, trying to be some kind of shield to the itty bitty ones behind him. And he is amazing and terrifying and ANGRY. Every time he's just a little too slow, or makes a mistake and one of these kids drops dead, he thinks he can hear them shouting encouragement to him in his head.

Eventually, he's faced with Philza himself and he puts up a good fight. But Phil ain't human and he loses. But Phil likes him as well and decides, yep. Keeping this one. Has him bound and dragged along as they make their way into the King's throne room, where the King is just begging for his life. The royals are slaughtered, and Wilber picks up the crown and places it on Techno's head, thinking it looked quite nice.

And that's as far as I got. They are definitely dragging Techno back. All the fun Dark SBI moments as Techno slowly warms up to them. But yeah, maybe I will write it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Any ideas?

YOOOO, took me a while to answer this one because I had to reread it several times over it’s such a banger. Please please PLEASE consider writing it cause I wanna read it so bad (and otherwise I have to steal it jk jk)

I keep thinking about Techno after he’s taken in by the vampire sbi too. Like, you know how in most fics using that trope they’d just turn him against his will and he warms up to them after already being turned?

But for this Techno, his entire life is already about having no agency. He was taken in by the church as a child, having any option of choice taken away from him. So really, the SBI taking him doesn’t make that much of a difference. He’d resent them in a similar manner.

What if they decide to prove their good intentions to Techno by telling him they won’t turn him until he asks, until he’s ready for it. And sure, it’s a bit of a hypocrite move considering they still kidnapped him, and they’re still keeping him in the castle against his will, they still consider him their in every sense of the word. An illusion of free will at most.

It’d be interesting in seeing them try to win him over despite all that though. And of course, in the end, Techno does get turned ;)

[asleepyb0i]

Lupus companion quotes (part 1)

Just gonna yoink @thebigolbee ‘s companion dialogue for Chard real quick

Don’t worry, I’ll give it back… maybe

Lupus companion dialogue-

(Receiving stimpak): “Hmm… much better.”

“Got anymore for the road?”

“Can’t make this a habit.”

“Hmm. Thank you.”

(Getting back up without help): 

“My back…”

“I’m doing great, thanks for asking.”

“Ouch…”

(Getting hurt by an enemy): 

“Asshole!”

“You’ll regret that!”

“You’re dead! Hear me? Dead!”

(Getting hurt by falling/poisoning/etc.):

“I think I broke something…”

(Getting ragdolled):

“Gah!!”

“Shit-”

(Fight engaged with enemy): 

“I’ll handle this one!”

“Food for the vultures!”

“Eat lead, cadaverosa comedentis!”

“Pathetic wretches!”

(Courier pointing gun at him):

“Mind pointing that somewhere else?”

(Courier accidentally hitting him): 

“Ow- asshole!”

“Watch it!”

“I’m right here!”

(Fight engaged with Courier):

“You’re gonna regret this…”

“I’m just warming up…”

“I’ll tear you to pieces.”

(Entering Goodsprings):

“I’ve been to Goodsprings before. It’s a nice little place. Good people, too.”

(Entering a vault):

“They’re quite ingenious inventions that pre-war humans made. I read in a book that they reinforced the walls with solid lead to protect against against any potential radiation coming through.”

(Entering a vault 2/encountering vault skeletons):

“What wasteful fools. An unopened vault is the safest place in the country- no, the continent. To throw that all away for human stupidity and greed-…”

(Entering Nipton):

“They… they had it coming.”

(Entering Novac):

“I read in a book that actual living creatures at one point were even bigger than Dinky. Reptiles with reaching necks to grab leaves and fruit. I can’t exactly remember the name, it’s been so long. Brevi-something-saurus.”

(Entering Freeside):

“Careful with the alleyways. They’re full of drug addicts and freaks…”

(Entering The Strip):

“Hmmph. Rich people irk me. Posh, condescending pricks.”

(Asking him to pickpocket/steal):

“Wouldn’t hurt.”

“Nope.”

“You first.”

(Asking him to go somewhere inaccessible):

“Nope.”

(Asking him to carry items):

“You paid me to shoot people, and you want me to carry your stuff as well? Ugh, just get on with it.”

“Fine, but if you make this a habit, you’re better off buying a pack Brahmin.”

(Asking to see his inventory):

“Sure.”

(Courier drinking alcohol):

“No thanks. I’m not a drinker.”

“You shouldn’t drink while on the road. It does nothing but fog your head and make you careless.”

“Can smell that from here.”

(Courier using chems):

“As long as you’re careful with your shit.”

“Be sure you can handle your trips. I don’t want to have to haul you to the nearest doctor.”

(Courier jumping from a tall place):

“You expect me to follow you down?”

“Nice one, Icarus.”

“Ouch…”

(Courier goes into crouch mode):

“Lean forward and keep a steady weight on your toes. Should the enemy see you, you’ll be able to have a fast start to run.”

“What do you see?”

“Be ready to kill.”

(Dark environment):

“Could use a few torches to brighten things up.”

(Dangerous environment):

“I’m not sure if this is a good idea…”

(Smelly environment):

“Ugh.”

(Scary environment):

“Don’t be afraid. I’ll kill anything that gets too close.”

(Quiet environment):

“*incoherent mumbling*”

(Irradiated environment):

“Make sure you have some rad-x. Radiation poisoning isn’t fun.”

(“Here’s the caps. Follow me. *give 500 caps*” Hiring for the first time.):

“Alright. Lead the way.

(“Follow me, I need your help.”):

“My gun is at your word.”

“No need to pay me again. I’ll follow for the thrills.”

(“Use Melee”):

“Fine. I’m not very good at it though.”

(“Use Ranged”):

“My pleasure.”

(“Stay close”):

“Alright.”

(“Keep distance”): 

“So be it.”

(“Be passive”):

“Fine, but only as long as the enemy is.”

(“Be aggressive”): 

“They’ll be dead before they see us.”

(“Wait here”):

“Don’t keep me waiting for too long.”

“I’ll keep watch.”

“Yell for me if there’s trouble ahead.”

(“Follow me”):

“Lead the way.”

*This is with low/starting friendship. His quotes change as time goes on. Will add a part 2 for high friendship.*

[marshmurmurs]

hey. hey psst. grian & purpled friends au is a banger. you um, you got any more? mayhaps?

Ok so you're gonna have to bear with me for aa few moments since this au is made by someone who hasn't watched Evo in a hot second and someone who I believe hasn't yet finished watching it, so we are mostly working off of fanon and my terrible memory for Watcher stuff

With that said, you've heard of Watcher!Grian, now get ready for Watcher!Purpled too :D

So you’re probably wondering how in the world we got here. It started with Peggy mentioning that Purpled got a clean view of both Tommy’s duel with Dream and Phil taking out Wil. That’s enough for me to start the Watcher propaganda babey!!!

“They watch but cannot be seen”

I'm pretty sure I yoinked this quote from a sign that showed up in some Watcher thing at some point. Purpled sure does watch. I also believe he has done some messing around with replay mod to see inside the prison or something? So yeah, Watcher boy be looking. And the “cannot be seen” part? He’s constantly falling into the background, almost forgotten, and maybe it's in his very nature.

Grian and Purp were both Watchers, though their time as Watchers only briefly overlapped. Purpled was already a Watcher during Evo times, having been picked up by the Watchers while traveling the void in his spaceship. They had promised him he would become something greater than himself, he would be part of something important, he would have a legacy. Purpled went along with them, at first, it wasn’t like he really had anything better to be doing. Besides, the magic and wings he got out of the deal were pretty cool.

It was when the Watchers started looking to recruit Grian that Purpled started to question why he was there. That legacy they promised him, he wasn't sure if they ever delivered on that. If anything, it was the Watchers that were benefiting off of him. The Evolutionists were the only people who were confident in their existence, and even then, they only knew of the group as a whole. They had no idea how many of them there were or of any of the individuals within. He doesn’t think that was ever what he wanted out of joining the Watchers... He wasn’t actually sure what he had wanted out of them.

Purpled noticed the Watchers focusing their attention on Grian, he saw how they worked to break down his will to rebel. Sure, he had joined them, but it wasn't like he had been told all their rules upfront. Naturally the guy who had continuously tested the limits of their patience when they had been some unknown power wouldn’t stop that just because he was one of them now. Grian would push the limits of what he was allowed to do, finding loopholes, dancing around the rules, and even outright breaking them at times. The two interacted a few times and Purpled liked the guy well enough. He liked him enough to break the rules himself and not report Grian when he caught him breaking some rules, he even pointed out a few spots in the rules where the phrasing could be exploited. Still, he recognized the opportunity Grian’s presence provided him. Purpled was no longer the newest Watcher, no longer constantly under their gaze. He could just leave, and if he was smart about it, he could get away and have plenty of time before anyone noticed.

So he did. With a final o7 to Grian, Purpled left. Their final encounter within the Watchers domain went something like this:

Purpled: Hey do you want some advice?

Grian: Sure

Purpled: *walks away never to be seen again within the Watcher’s domain*

It was only later that Grian realized what the advice was, long after he began sneaking out, began testing the limits of what he could do. It was long after he figured out that an eye couldn't really look within itself and he could use the very powers the Watchers had given him to hide himself from them, long after he'd made his own domain, long after he'd slipped away to a land he created specifically to stay out of their sight and reach that he realized what the advice was. Purpled had left. His advice was to leave. Grian had—albeit unknowingly—followed that advice.

Purpled had taken a much different method to getting away. Instead of making himself untraceable, he hid in plain sight. He went to Hypixel and made a name for himself playing Bedwars. With each game he won, with each game he clutched, he amassed supporters. Players, believers and doubters alike, began to bet on the outcome of his matches. Purpled had made himself seen. He knew the Watchers knew he was there, but that was the point. They couldn’t reach him, not without breaking their own rules, at least. Unlike the two Players turned Watchers, the original Watchers cared deeply for and were bound by their rules. Even if they had tried anything, Purpled managed to create his own legacy, making for himself what they never could. Beyond that, he'd found friends, he'd built a community, surrounded himself with people who would look for him and make themselves a problem for the Watchers if they tried to make him go back. They were forced to sit by and do nothing as he continuously broke their most important rule.

Purpled didn't need the Watchers, he never did.

Grian didn't really know how he felt about the Watchers. He didn't think he hated them, not really. The Watchers had given him a taste of true freedom then immediately began to restrain him. They'd given him wings and the power to create worlds in mere seconds, something which would not only take a regular Admin a much longer time, it would require a significant amount of preparation. He was given the world at his fingertips but was limited by the long list of rules the Watchers enforced. He doesn't regret joining them—he wouldn't give up his wings for the world—but they just weren't enough. The more they tried to make him fit their mold of a perfect little Watcher, the more sure of that he became.

It was almost funny, the Watchers had become stricter in order to prevent another Purpled situation. They were trying to ensure Grian wouldn’t leave them too, but in doing so, they had given him reason to. He was a bit curious though, he wondered what Purpled was up to now. Grian hadn’t gotten news about him since he’d left the Watchers.

So Grian went to Hypixel, he wanted to see if he could track down Purpled. He knew the other was there, judging by the leaderboards, but he couldn’t seem to catch him around the hub. He managed to track down gamblers betting on Purpled's victories. Grian followed that lead, tailing the person who was updating them on the results of Purpled's matches. Somehow that person continued to find intel without Grian catching where Purpled was. It made no sense, and if he was being honest with himself, it had long since reached the point of being frustrating. Eventually, after an infuriating amount of dead ends Grian decided he may as well play a few games before calling it a day and heading home. He tried a few solo matches of bedwars and while PvP wasn't really his thing, he had to admit throwing fireballs at people was pretty fun.

Grian finding Purpled wasn't even intentional on his part. At that point he wasn’t even actively looking or playing the game properly. He’d simply started building houses after politely asking people to leave him alone with varying levels of success. After a few games, he received a friend request from the person who had won the last match with a message inviting him to join them for some doubles. Grian accepted after a moment of thought, they seemed polite enough. They had left him for last when it would’ve been way easier and much more convenient to just continue their clockwise sweep.

It didn’t take Grian long to realize that his new companion was nicked, though to be fair, he was too. It’s not that he particularly cared when someone was nicked, but his curiosity was getting the better of him. There was something about this person, the way they held themself, the general energy around them, something that just felt so familiar. Try as he might, though, Grian couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

It was when he noticed the absolute confidence and ease in which his companion threw themself into the void that Grian finally gave in to his curiosity. Players usually avoid the void, and even if they did jump into it for strategic purposes, he's never seen anyone

recover as fast as his companion did. While they ran off to go stab someone who was getting too close to their area for comfort, Grian tried to look past their disguise. He was met with resistance, surprisingly. Usually looking past a Player being nicked was no issue. He pushed harder, it was more than just curiosity at this point, he needed to know who this was, why they were able to resist him. Somehow the results were worse this time. Grian realized with increasing bewilderment that he could no longer even see his companion. His teammate was just gone, there one moment and gone the next.

Grian blinked away the purple in his eyes, focusing on his surroundings. There were no new bridges leading away, his teammate was still in the game, and they hadn't died. Where could they have gone? He continued to scan the island when he was suddenly hit with the overwhelming sense of being watched. There, standing beside him was his teammate, eyes glowing the same purple Grian's had moments before.

"Something wrong, Grian?"

It all clicked for him then. His nicked companion was the guy he had been looking for the entire time, he’d only just now decided to reveal himself. Of course Grian’s Watcher abilities hadn’t helped, Purpled had way more power here than he did. He was just a guest in the other’s domain, he never had a chance of finding him if he hadn’t wanted to be found.

“Y’know, you could have been a lot clearer.”

“Rule 7. Besides, you figured it out, didn’t you?”

Once they reunited, the two realized they still got along well. They agreed to keep in contact, and they did. Grian would sometimes hop onto Hypixel to join Purpled for a few games—always nicked, they didn’t want the Watchers to realize they were in contact— and other times he'd drag him off to a creative world to challenge him to a game of build swap or various flying courses he’d created. The two often swapped tips and tricks for things they were good at. Grian would give Purpled lessons on building, block palettes, and flying (he argued the other only ever really using his wings while voiding didn’t count). In exchange, Purple would try to give him advice on various things he’d picked up from playing bedwars: block clutches, speedbridging, and general PvP.

When Purpled was invited onto the DreamSMP, he was fairly excited. He loved what he had going on with Hypixel and his friends there, but part of him had always wanted this. Ever since he was with the Watchers, overlooking everything on Evo and worlds before that, part of him had wished to be on the other side of things. This desire only grew stronger as he heard the tales of what Grian got up to on Hermitcraft.

The Dream SMP was nothing like he expected it to be. It turned out to be a hardcore world, only 3 “lives” allowed per player. There were also seemingly infinite respawns, though, which made no sense. He wasn’t sure which was more annoying: the unclear respawn rules or the fact that he was never told about them before he agreed to join.

Besides that, there was also some entity with a great amount of power, even more than the admin himself. Purpled had noticed their presence fairly quickly upon joining and he was immediately on edge. He had no information on the being, their power, their motives, nothing. And that felt dangerous. Purpled had unintentionally ended up falling back into old habits from working with the Watchers as he tried to establish himself in this world. He claimed land for his own, carving out his own domain within that of the unknown god while trying to avoid catching their attention. Eventually, once he was comfortable enough within the world, he began trying to reach out, trying to get involved in the things that were happening. He heard there was a war brewing, and if he learned anything from Grian, things were about to get really fun.

They didn’t.

His attempts to involve himself mostly failed, so he went back to doing what he had before. He claimed more and more land and continued watching over events from the sidelines. Things got serious, conflicts got personal, and unless he was directly pulled in by someone he considered a friend, Purpled just watched.

Anyway my excuse for whatever is going on with their designs is that Watchers can control how they are perceived. This is my city and I want them to have cool wings. Also Peggy was supposed to be my impulse control but the memo got lost in the mail and she never got it, so she enabled me instead. Now we have both funky dragon/parrot vibes on Grian and vague alien/phantom/vex vibes on Purpled

[deadly-departed]

Hello! I thought of this request while I was in online class lmao. Ok so how about a yandere scenario with Hanako, Tsukasa and Teru seeing their darling s/o trying to escape from them??

Oh hell yes! We love yandere Tsukasa in this household- like, please, I would let him yoink me and throw me into his boundary. I'm such a simp istg

Hanako-Kun The Bathroom Ghost, Wonder No. 7

You had escaped, neither your nor him know exactly how you got out but you did

And now, you were hiding, hoping that he would eventually give up on looking for you and then you could finally get out of this cursed school.

But you forgot one thing

Unlike you and your human friends, ghosts don't need to sleep.

So while you were hiding in your little storage closet, trying your hardest not to doze off because of the lack of sleep you'd had in Hanako's grasp, the apparition was searching the school from top to bottom.

And after he recruited a handful of Mokke, he had found you, sound asleep on the floor.

He couldn't help but laugh at how weak you looked when asleep, it was adorable!

He watched you for a moment, your chest rising and falling softly as you breathe

Hanako thought of all the things he could do to you, but of course he doesn't do anything! Because that's wrong and he doesn't want you to hate him!

But he does pick you up, making sure not to wake you as he carries you back to your little prison.

Once you woke up, the first thing you saw were Hanako's sad eyes looking at you.

"Moon, why did you try to escape? I thought you loved me." Hanako asks, hurt glossing his amber eyes.

You look away from him. You are not letting him guilt trip you. You know that's what he's trying to do, he's done it before.

"I hate it here." You mumble, watching the Mokke stack themselves into a small pyramid.

Hanako felt himself about to cry, his vision blurring as he tries to come up with an excuse for you.

You were just tired! Yeah, that's it! He's been keeping you up for days on end because he forgot that humans need sleep!

"Moon, just get some rest, that's all you need. You're tired." Hanako says, smiling softly at you.

"I don't need sleep! I need you to let me go!" You cry out, tugging at the chains on your arm.

You were always so difficult. You were never satisfied with anything that Hanako did for you.

"Tell me what I'm doing wrong." Hanako says, grasping your hands in his cold ones.

"Tell me how to make you happy and hoe to get you to smile! I want us to be together! Please!" As he begged, his grip on your hands subconsciously became tighter.

"Tell me why you hate me so much!"

His grip was unbearable.

"Ha-hanako, you're hurting me...!" You whimpering out, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

Hanako's eyes widen and he immediately let's go, his hands moving quickly to his chest.

"I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry..." He kept mumbling apologies as he basically ran out of the room, leaving you tied up with nothing other then the Mokke to keep you company.

Tsukasa Yugi, The Rumor Spreader

Sakura was bound to Tsukasa. She had to do what he said even if it pained her. That was why she took care of you so often.

Tsukasa told her to keep an eye on you to make sure you didn't escape. She hated it, taking care of you.

Not that she hated you or having to take care of another person! She liked you, but she hated the events that lead up to your meeting.

And after months of worrying for your safety, she finally had enough and decided to help you escape.

"Please, just be quiet, I'll get in a lot of trouble for doing this. I just can't stand seeing you suffer anymore." She states quietly as she takes you out of the Boundary.

You two were so close, you could see the front doors.

Yet as soon as you were close enough to open them, you heard an all too familiar laugh behind you.

Both yours and Sakura's eyes widen as your blood runs cold. You knew who it was, you had no need to turn around, especially with the arms and legs wrapping around your shaking form.

"Where do you think you're going?" Tsukasa whispers into your ear, giggling softly.

You shook more as you felt him lick the shell of you're ear.

"Well?" He smirks, before looking to Sakura.

"Take them back to the boundary. Now." He says, his eyes darkening.

Sakura looks down at the ground before nodding, grabbing your wrist tightly before walking back into the depths of the school. "I'm really sorry, you know I don't want to do this." She mumbles

Back in the boundary, Sakura cuffed you back down to your chair before backing away from you.

Tsukasa held a sharp knife, the sadistically cute smile grazing his lips as he looked at you with darkened eyes.

Though you prayed that this was an empty threat of harm, it seemed all too real to be fake.

"Why'd you try to escape? Do you not like it here?" He asked, a mocking innocence threading his voice as he helped you and brought his pointer finger up to his bottom lip. "Amane said that people like being taken care of by their partners. And Amane never lies!"

"You're not taking care of me." You whimper as you watch the apparition play with the knife in his hands.

"Yes I am." He says, smiling at you before turning his attention away from you. "That's not the big problem though." He states as he stares at Sakura. "You helped them escape. You can't disobey what I say!" He yells like a child, throwing the knife at her, missing her face by a few inches.

Sakura stood there, her normally blank expression showing clear fear as her form shook.

Tsukasa then once again turns back to you, a big smile on his face.

"You made me so scared! I thought someone was gonna hurt you or try to take you away from me!" He cries out as he glomps you, wrapping his limbs around your body in a tight hug.

"I need to make sure that everyone knows you're mine!" Tsukasa exclaims happy as he opens his mouth and bites down on your neck harshly enough to draw blood.

You scream out in pain, tears pricking your eyes as you writhe underneath the boy.

Sakura turned away and covered her ears, wanting to cry herself.

"You need to learn your lesson!" Tsukasa chimes, smiling happily as a bit of blood trailed down the corner of his mouth.

Teru Minamoto, The School Prince

He'd be upset, not only at you, but at himself and anyone who tried to help you.

He'd punish you and threaten the helpers.

Kou sighs, scratching at the back or his head as he looks at the mess he'd made in the living room.

Where has Tiara's Mokke gone? He's looked around the entire house and couldn't find it.

As one last resort, he walked to the basement door. Yes, Teru told him not to go in there, but it was for their sister, he would understand, right?

He grabs the cold handle, pulling the door open. Kou looks down at the dark stairs.

He pulls out his phone, turning on the flashlight before descending the staircase, keeping the light on steps so that he wouldn't slip.

You looked at the Minamoto, refusing to make any noise. Hoping that he wasn't here for you

You watched as he first went to the other half of the basement, shining his phone light in some boxes and digging around a bit before moving to the next.

"Not here either where could it have gone? It's not like it could ha-" Kou's eyes widen as he turns around, his flashlight illuminating the other side of the room, and thus you.

"Wh-what are you doing in our basement?" Kou asks, trying to sound brave as he looks at you.

"I... Um..." You tried to this k of something, anything to say that wouldn't make you sound weird.

But you also count say that his brother kidnapped you, what would Kou think?

"It's not what you think," You say, panicked.

"That doesn't answer my question." He says, taking steps closer to your shaking frame.

"What are you doing in my house?" He asks, a slightly more demanding tone in his voice.

You curl up into a ball, your kneed to your chest and covering your head, causing the chains on your ankle and wrist to rattle loudly, shining them in the light.

"Pl-please don't hurt me." You beg, shaking more.

Teru never hurt you, of course not, but you were always so scared that he would.

Kou's eyes widen as he looks at you and the chains tethering you to the bed and wall. "Why are..." He stops himself, only walking closer to you to get a better look at the cuffs.

"How long have you been down here...?" Kou questions, setting his phone down on the bed, the light illuminating the ceiling.

You life your head up slightly, taken slightly aback by how close he suddenly was.

"...A few months maybe? I have nothing to tell time with other than Teru coming in to say good morning before he goes to school and goodnight." You mumble looking down at the bed, slipping your arms under your knees and hugging your thighs closer to you.

"Teru-nii? What do you mean? Never mind, I need to get you out of here, what's you're name?" He asks, looking for a way to get the cuff off your ankle.

"Uh.. Y/N. I'm a third year." You state, watching him analysis the cuff.

You watch Kou, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you'd be able to escape this hell hole.

That is until you hear someone clear their throat at the top of the basement stairs.

You freeze, eyes widening as you refuse to look up, knowing exactly who it is.

Teru sighs as he walks down the steps, shaking his head softly.

He looked at the scene unfolding in front of him, his dear little brother had found his darling, who happened to be locked in the basement.

"T-Teru-nii, why is Y/N-Senpai in our basement?" Kou asked, his voice changing slightly.

"Better question," Teru starts, his eyes glaring daggers into his brother. "Why are you in here? I told both you and Tiara not to go in here, didn't I?"

Kou's eyes widen slightly as he stood up right.

"Well, yeah but-" Kou starts.

"Then why are you here. And why are you trying to help them escape? They're here for a reason Kou." Teru states, crossing his arms as he stands in front of his brother.

"I knew I couldn't trust you with something like this." Teru mumbles as he turns his attention to his darling, still unmoving in the bed.

"Darling, are you alright? Did kou do anything to you?" He asks, kneeling down next to you.

"Get away from them!" Kou shouts, causing you to jump.

Teru stands up straight again, looking over to his brother as his eyes darken. "Kou, you have no idea what I'm doing. They're here because they need to be protected, they need someone to look after them. And I'm that person, I love them and they love me."

Kou looks up at his brother, slight fear glossing over his eyes as he does so.

You felt useless. Like a toy that two toddlers were fighting over. You were powerless.

"T-teru please, leave him alone... He doesn't understand." You say quietly, trying to calm your captor down.

The older Minamoto looks over at you, a small smile gracing his lips. "Darling I know, but he's getting in the way."

Kou looks at you, shock evident on his face. "Senpai, are you really taking his side on this? He kidnapped you!" Kou stresses.

"He did it for my own good." You fake a smile as you look at Kou, ready to break down.

"Now, Kou. Leave the basement, never come back down here and never tell anyone what you saw here." Teru orders.

Kou sighs, his head dropping as he grabs his phone and slowly makes his way back upstairs.

Teru turns once again to you. "Now, for you."

"How should I punish you? Isolation? Sleep deprivation?" Teru chuckles, thinking of all the things he could do.

"I think sleep deprivation sound suitable, don't you?"

[businessbois]

I just want to say as a someone studying political therory and politics in uni the dsmp as well as the fan base makes me want to cry lmao. The same ppl who use tommy stealing as a bad factor to his character are also the ones who are the first to defend technos anarchy and gov corrupt so let’s blow it up. I’m just trying to apply social contract to this whole thing and there is literally no consistency. And there’s no way to have a serious conversation with these people cause they read so far into the plot promote specific characters but at every counter argument they go it’s not that deep as a response. God my brain hurts so much. I would pay good money to have, or even just see someone have, a conversation with techno about how his whole anarchism/ libertarianism is any better then establishment when he has never actually come up with an alternative system. As well as his view of the social contract and Hobbes and the justification of working with dream when theoreticaly that goes against his whole thing. I know this makes no sense I’m so sorry I’m just in so much pain trying to make sense of all this and my brain has stopped functioning.

my friend im going to be so honest, i have very little ideas about politics, i’ve got a solid 68% in APUSH rn, but i will attempt to appear intelligent here. yeah i think the whole “tommy steals tommy bad” argument just so does not work. that’s literally the norm on this server. everybody steals. is it morally correct? maybe not but like,, on ranboo and foolish’s first days they were both mugged multiple times by multiple people. hbomb put up a social experiment ancient debris wall and fundy yoinked the entire thing. thats just how it be. people are very momentarily annoyed by the stealing but then they go A) steal whatever was stolen from them from someone else B) go kill the person who stole from them and then continue with their day C) just sigh and replace what was stolen. so the basis for what’s makes someone “bad” or “wrong” on the smp is completely different. but if you’re going to be mad at stealing, you have to be mad at murder and terrorism too. 

i’ve seen a lot of takes about techno and his brand of anarchy that i am not smart enough to speak on but im pretty sure there’s something wrong there. yeah, a lot of people talk about how he destroyed the government and just didn’t give them any other way to function. like instead of being like “here’s an alternative system,” he just decided to throw the whole country away. um, i know he’s got stuff going on with his club or syndicate but i feel like that’s on hold until the egg thing gets squared away?? but yeah, the fandom has a lot of criticisms for techno’s anarchism and methods that don’t get brought up in canon because i don’t think the other creators know how to have that conversation, so if you just wanted to whitelist yourself and discuss w him that’d be poggers. i think tubbo and/or tommy have briefly brought up the flaw of A) saying you’re fighting against oppressive power while also being the most powerful person on the server and B.) teaming up with the other most oppressive power on the server. tubbo asked something along the lines of “doesn’t this make you kind of like a tyrant too?” to which techno responded “the ends justify the means” which is like ? okay mr blade?? and then tommy i think said something in the boat ride pre-festival about going against dream and techno was like “dream’s just an individual” and yeah idk my brain hurts too

please don’t stress yourself out thinking about this. take a break. take a nap. have a cup of tea. *hands you a picture of alex quackity* we’re gonna be okay

[justalokifanaccount]

Episode 2-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

Ooooooh mysterious...

Oh so this variant can (at least briefly) cont people with a simple touch? No need for a scepter?

I NEED A HEROOO!

Oh this variant is taking that lady away? I wonder why

Miss Minutes is gonna move me to violence

Loki is me studying

Hahahahaha get her Loki!

Loki, leave Mobius’ magazines alone

Wow he got into the work force rather fast huh? Bit of a whiplash type scenario considering the end of episode one

No, YOU’RE a cosmic mistake! 😤 my boy looks hot regardless

Sooooo Loki is the most common variant? Why does this not surprise me?

Is... is he a football cup champion??? Omg 😂

Smart boy. Illusion projecting is different than duplication casting. Neato. LISTEN TO MY SMART BOY. RESPECT HIM.

Dude loves wheeling

Yea Loki. Work on getting to the time keepers. Overthrow the government.

Dude is smart with these questions.

Propaganda is INDEED exhausting so that’s fair

Fist hostage... maybe he’s (or she?) gonna use her as a body transfer like Loki in the comics with Sif?

Oh please let this be a genuine smart Loki moment and not just setting him up as a joke and embarrassment...

“Where there are wolf’s ears, wolf’s teeth are near.” Good to know basic mammalian anatomy is still applicable to Asgardian wolves...

Cmon Loki do something cool. Please. Please Loki. Please.

Preach my man, but please, do something cool. My anxiety that you’ll be turned into a joke is spiking.

Is he actually waiting outside or is Loki really just trying to mess with them and throw them off? Or is he just being too cocky for his own good and it’s gonna mess him up? Please please please don’t disappoint me. I have merch for this show already that I can’t return

Bargain baby, bar again. Do it.

Is he actually concerned for the time keepers orrrrrr

Dangit Mobius

Does... being reset... hurt?

Bye C-20 I guess... for now? We’ll see

Of course it’s a friggin theremin that’s playing

Mobius x Judge Renslayer? Oooooooh. Tsundere Renslayer.

Use a coaster my man

Oh her first name is Ravonna

Controversy is the best thing though

You can never understand this Loki. As soon as you begin to understand, he changes. He’s unpredictable.

“I know you have a soft spot for broken things.” Ah, so this entire fandom then?

“But Loki is an evil, lying scourge.” YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU WENCH!

“That is the part he plays in the sacred timeline.” Well you clearly haven’t been paying enough attention to the files then, hm? Here, let me redirect you to one of the many character analyses I’ve written. Now if you read here........

He doesn’t need to change. He’s already not evil

I don’t trust Renslayer or the time keepers... or Renslayer WITH the time keepers... I think she plays a bigger, antagonistic role than I thought.

You just TRY and delete him Mobius... just... TRY... I will find a way to break the fourth wall and no time keepers can keep you safe from the rage of a million fan girls. Nothing... we don’t need magic...

Omg Loki just sitting there in a chair outside the office like a kid while their parent is talking with the teacher about their “recent behavior”.

Cmon Loki, you don’t need to make excuses or impress him.

My poor boy is SOOO out of his zone.

Tbf mobius, you ASKED. You asked what makes him tick.

Hey hey hey, let’s not gaslight my boy...

The Loki is... uhhh something... gotta keep my hopes up. Trust in Tom Hiddleston...

Mobius showing his true colors...

Please Loki... be badass... not just a joke... please please please... PLEASE!

Mobius, play nice.

I hope this “superior” Loki thing, if it is a female, isn’t a desperate attempt at feminism pandering, chocking up her “superiority” to being female. Please give the characters real stories. Flesh them out.

Juice box time?

No?

More homework?

Bugger...

The sass is off the charts

Librarian lady gonna get killed

Oh boy

Pffffft—

I miss Casey.

Hey don’t ignore Loki. That’s rude.

Bell is the answer?

Poor Loki. Stop trying to fit in. You are best when you are genuinely yourself.

What’s to stop Loki from grabbing the other files?

Homework... I thought I escaped this when I graduated...

Whatcha seeing there?

Oh...

Bye bye Asgard...

Cmon... not more feels.

AGGHHHHHHHH

Please allow him confirmation of Thor’s survival and beating of Thanos!!! He needs that confirmation! He needs that reassurance.

Hear him out Mobius.

“He’s hiding in apocalypses.” Sooooo is that why they go to presumably Mount Vesuvius? I assume?

Mobius, let Loki have your salad.

Rip salad

CASEY

Casey’s juice box

Poor Casey and mobius salad...

Loki, your logic astounds me.

Well, pushing Hulk off of the bridge WOULD have an effect...

VESUVIUS HERE WE COME

He hasn’t really stabbed anyone in the back... except Thor... but not 50 times

Pompeii, here we come!

Ooooooh we gonna see Loki dance with a lady? 😏 get ittttt

Well, if you do cause a branch, can’t you just reset the timeline?

CAUSE SOME CHAOS MY LOVELY MAN

OMG IM HEARING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE SPEAK ITALIAN

I can die happy now

Loki... you look insane.

Uhhh run

Okay you’re good

Sleepy Loki

Let him sleep!

Soooo, I mean, technically, Loki’s actions would still cause the timeline to change, but said change wouldn’t have an impact on the future, just the current moment... so shouldn’t it still be detected by the TVA? At least as a little fleck?

Jet skis?

Omg I just snorted at Loki begrudgingly agreeing with Mobius that jet skis are awesome

Mobius offending my History Teachers for 50 minutes straight... that’s it. That’s the episode.

Mobius really in love with jet skis for some reason

We better get to see Mobius on a jet ski

Fighting for jet skis?

Lol mobius has a point about the magical Asgardians and Jötunns

Glorious purpose

Cmon Loki, destroy this man’s beliefs.

OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT

DO IT

TEAM UP AND THROW THE TIMELINE INTO CHAOS

How would you know what the time keepers are doing when you’ve never met them?

How can you meet in peace at the end of time with no chaos?

“You see, I know something children don’t. That no one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.”

Mobius, don’t patronize my boy. Go jet skiing.

“I know.” Oh good, that point in the trailer was edited.

No candy on Asgard? Poor Loki.

May the best man win? Well that automatically means Loki.

Getting National Treasure vibes

Love you

Alabama will still exist in 2050? That’s disappointing.

Roxxcart.

Loki is very smart. Thank you show.

Renslayer, if you claim Mobius is your friend, trust him.

Kachow!

“For all time.” “Always.” TVA is definitely a cult.

Weapon?

WEAPON!

...weapon???

no weapon...

Meanie...

Are we gonna see what this Loki variant looks like?

I have a feeling this variant is gonna be the female, blonde (I’m so sorry, at the moment I forget her name) in those pictures we saw. Guessing because 1) she was wearing a Loki outfit. 2) her and tom Hiddleston were wet in that picture as if rained on 3) the scene when they enter Roxxcart occurs when it starts to rain due to the upcoming massive storm. So I’m placing all of my money on the table the Loki variant is Lady Loki. Blonde, for some reason. (Or maybe she just didn’t have a wig on in the picture of her we saw?)

Yea please don’t prune this Loki.

Storms a brewing

Good to know Alabama, at some point, does get destroyed. That’s comforting. (Btw this is a joke. I have nothing against Alabama lol. Idk why my brain thought this was funny lol.)

All wet and rainy.

HAHAHAHA USE THAT MAGIC BABY

LET MOBIUS STICK WITH LOKI

Ooh ooh! Is Loki gonna use powers to yoink the roomba here?

Uh oh. Forgot to take into consideration that most big businesses, especially stores, have security cameras, huh?

Times ticking...

Wait was that a reset charge?

Awkward silence

Spookyyyy

Poor dude lol

Or not

Hmmm

Oh???

I RECOGNIZE THAT MAGIC!!! ITS HER!!!

HUNTER (forget her number) IS THE LOKI VARIANT!!! When was she replaced? Or was she always the variant?

That or the other Loki is projecting herself into the hunter? Maybe used the shopping dude as a conduit?

Moment of realization

Smiling contest

No no, Tom Hiddleston’s Loki is superior. I don’t care who else tries to play Loki, Tom IS Loki.

Oh no

Baby crying?

These poor people...

No need to be rough

Is Mobius genuinely caring

Oh... poor C-20

Team up please? Please?

Ah so they really can just send themself into any body they wish, huh? Just by touch?

Loki, learn that trick please.

Sooo, is the other variant Loki’s body tangible? Do they project their conscience into other bodies via touch, or do they not have a corporeal body and rely on others to exist?

Doctor Who vibes

TEAM UP PLEASE

YES

Please

Please?

Offended by Loki name?

Haha sympathy for Thor

Go randy.

Soooo what are you interested in if not ruling the TVA?

Who’s that planting charges? The real body of the other variant Loki?

You okay C-20? (Off topic her actress reminds me of the actress who played Ava Star aka Ghost in Ant-Man and the Wasp) what is real and what about it is so mind capturing for you?

Oh no

Poor girl

Cmon B-15

Hello?

Reset charge

Oh? Bye bye?

HEY!

That’s rude

I miss Randy too

Cmon Loki fight like the badass I know you are

Please

HAHA! TELEKINESIS

Cartwheel WEEEEE

Oooh he swore

Lokis have a pattern of swearing only while taking other peoples forms

Cmon Loki. Go back to mobius. Help them. Prove your goodness. Please.

Poor trucker man

Hello?

Hello!

Fave reveal?

I KNEW IT

Oh????

Flashlights?

RUN!

Is this actually a Loki variant or just sylvie? Or Amora?

Uh oh...

What’s happening

Is she absolutely destroying the timeline?

Poor Doctor Strange. I wonder if he knows about the TVA?

Loki is all alone? Why is he standing still?

Where is she going?

Cmon Loki... help them please...

Loki...

CLIFF HANGER

NOOOOO I CANT WAIT ANOTHER WEEK AGHHHHHHHH

Are they gonna be okay?

How is the variant traveling?

What is her goal?

Why is Loki going after her?

Why is Loki leaning towards the apparent evil side?

Is this actually lady Loki or sylvie or amora since her hair is blonde?

WHAT IS HAPPENING???

So much just happened in so little time. It’s like Marvel wants to slowly spoon feed us with the first 3/4 of the episode and then in the last 1/4, they waterboard us.

Why is this female Loki variant so much more powerful?

So Loki DID know what was going on at the Renaissance fair and was intentionally stalling for her... why?

Her horned helmet is similar to the one kid(?) Loki wears in the comics. One horn broken. How did that happen? Why does she still wear it, especially if she doesn’t want to be called Loki?

No end credit scene yet.

[coping-via-clint-eastwood]

Back and Forth - Sadithur Week Prompt

@dearauntcathy

Arthur was stalking around camp, wearing the dreaded skunk hat. As much as Sadie loved him, she hated that his fashion sense ranged from being the finest-looking gentleman in Saint Denis to...whatever the hell this was. So, when they happened to pass each other by, she quickly shot a hand out and yoinked the hat off his head. "HEY!" he yelled, his hands flying to his head as he whipped around to face Sadie; she tossed the hat some ways away. Copper, who had been following Arthur, barked and ran after it, thinking that the woman who had become his second human wanted to play fetch.  "What was that for?!"

"Arthur.  I've told you not to wear that hat," she sighed wearily, folding her arms and putting her weight on one leg.

"And I've told you that I like it," he responded, reaching down and taking the hat which Copper held in his mouth, sitting down and tail wagging wildly.  "Thank you Cop."  He fixed it back onto his head.  But Copper started whining at this; he wanted to play more.  Sadie immediately took the hat off and threw it again.  Copper yapped excitedly and ran after it, elated, in contrast to his first human looking at Sadie in stunned incredulity.  Oh she laughed at his face.  When Copper returned, his paws pattering quickly, Arthur tried to take his hat, but Sadie was too quick for him; she tossed the hat away again. This time, Arthur ran with Copper, trying to reach his hat before the animal did.  Sadie had to clamp her hands over her mouth to muffle her laughter, her body shaking as a result of the sound having nowhere to go.  But of course, the dog reached the hat first, and immediately dashed back to Sadie with it.  "No!"  Arthur cried out, dirt flying up a little when he skidded to a halt and turned back around.  Upon receiving the hat, Sadie smartly threw it in the opposite direction.

However, Arthur did not run after it this time.  While Copper shot past Sadie, Arthur stopped when he reached her.  He just trapped her in a bear hug, ensuring that she could not move.  Her face being pressed into his torso meant that he obstructed her view too.  "Hey..."  she vocalised, muffled, "that's not fair."

"You're the one who just started throwing my hat," he argued gently, holding her snugly and lovingly.  Sadie could not complain; he gave the best hugs.  This time when Copper returned, it was Arthur who finally retrieved his hat, having fastened one arm around Sadie first.  "I'm gonna let go of you now.  Don't throw it anymore, okay?"

"I won't Arthur."

He trusted her, and let go of her, slowly stepping back, keeping his hands on her arms while the hat remained secured in between two fingers.  She gently took the hat, and held it over his head, about to place it down.  But he took the hat away, just holding it, and shook his head.  "I won't wear it if you hate it that much."

She smiled and dropped her hands to his shoulders, her palms still while her fingers caressed them.  "Thank you."

He smiled back at her, putting his hands on her elbows and bumping his nose against hers; they were not comfortable with kissing in public.  "I'm gonna go put this in my tent," he murmured.

"Sure you don't wanna keep Copper occupied?"  she jested.

"Oh, he will be all right."  He leant back from her and walked away at last.  Sadie smiled as she watched him go for a few moments, then got back to her own work.

[selene-tempest]

It’s our Kayo’s birthday, and to celebrate I dragged her up to Five to participate in another Live From Five.

Selene: Aahhh, we're back! Look at this! John, look, look how long it's been since we last broadcast. 

John: Why break the streak now, I'm sure we can go another few months… 

S: Hush your mouth, we've got a job to do. The world is still chaotic, Gordon still hasn't found the source of that smell in the hangars that he swears wasn't to do with him but is starting to permeate the house, and it's just nice to get away from it all for a bit. Go on, admit it. 

J: I admit nothing, we could have just hung out up here, watched some movies, eaten some snacks, took some time to properly relax, all alone…think about it. 

S: That…is very tempting, do we still have that bottle of mass-

Kayo: *loudly clears her throat* 

S: Oh, sorry, forgot you were here for a second, you're like a ninja cat that had its bell taken away. 

K: I'm not sure how to respond to that. 

J: She means you're quiet and that she's sorry that she started to bring up the Knotty But Nice blackcurrant-

S: I think that's enough explanation, babe. 

K: *grins evilly settling herself more comfortably in her chair* I don't know, I think I need to know more about this. 

S: No, you really don't. 

K: But I might be wanting to purchase some for myself. 

J: I think I still have the link somewhere…*pulls out his phone*

S: *covers his screen with her hand* Can we just get on with this, please? 

J: *smiles innocently* What's the rush? Normally you like to chat for hours and tell me off for trying to hurry things along. 

S: Because your idea of hurrying things along is to skip the questions entirely. 

J: A foolproof method, I've found. 

S: *gives him a squinty eyed warning look and turns back to the camera lense of EOS and its slowly blinking light* Hello, and welcome back to Live From Five, the monthly-

J: Sometimes. 

S:- the sometimes monthly, but more at random times, podcast where I force my darling husband to sit down with me and talk to you all about the goings on of International Rescue and the other organisations that help keep the world safe. 

J: When the world hasn't slowed down because of a pandemic that is. 

S: Ordinarily, yes. But now is the time when we should all do our bit to make life a little more bearable and so we have another of the team ready and willing to answer your most burning questions. 

K: I wouldn't say willing exactly. 

J: You'll soon learn that resistance is futile, she's like a steamroller-

S: Excuse me, sir! 

J: A pretty steamroller. 

S: That's better. 

K: I love how she didn't even try to deny it. 

S: *shrugs*

J: She can't argue the truth and we made vows never to lie to each other. 

K: So you finally told her that you don't like those new tie-dye leggings of hers? The ones you said made her butt look like a Rorschach test? 

S: EXCUSE ME, SIR!! You said they looked good with that black shirt I stole off Scott! 

J: The shirt hides your butt. 

S: First my beloved T-shirt, now my leggings? Is there anything in my wardrobe that you actually like? Or should I throw it all away and just go about naked? Would that please you? *throws hands up in frustration*

J: *quirks an eyebrow*

S: *scowls at him* We’re done with this conversation.

J: *scowls at Kayo* You just had to go there. 

K: What? You said you never lie to her. I was only asking. 

J: What's the first question the viewers sent in? *scrolls frantically on his tablet* Paul asks if your name is short for Knockout. 

K: Yes, it is. 

S: *still scowling, has now advanced to sulkily crossed arms too*

J: Care to elaborate a bit so she doesn't smack me? 

K: Elaborate how? 

J: Maybe how you got the name?

K: *sighs* I was ten years old, so was Gordon, there was a sparring match, his face got in the way of my fist. 

J: You aimed at it. 

K: He was supposed to duck and deflect it, that was the point of training and sparring. 

S: Is that why he can only breathe out of one nostril? 

K: Yes. 

J: Kath asks, how does it feel to be a strong female role model? 

K: I don't really see myself that way, at least I never intended to be one. But, I suppose that if young people want someone to look up to I'm glad that I can show them the truth about a few things and hopefully inspire them to try things for themselves. 

J: Such as? 

K: I'm proof that you don't have to be the biggest or the strongest on the team to make a difference. I might not be as actively involved in rescues like the rest of you are but I have my area of expertise and that's just as good. People shouldn't try to be someone they aren't or to match up to others, being yourself is just as good. You can be strong and successful without compromising who you really are. You don't have to compete with the rest of the world, as long as you can honestly say you're doing your best. We all have different skills and different weaknesses, none are more important than the other. Life shouldn't be a competition, it should be about being the best person you can be. Sure you're going to mess up sometimes but that's how you learn and grow. Oh, and that girls are just as good as boys. 

*S & J just staring at her*

K: What? I can be deep. I do have some insightful things to say now and then, you know. 

S: Oh, we know, we never doubted that. 

J: We just doubted you'd ever actually say them. 

S: *swats at him with the back of her hand*

J: Hey! No hitting. 

K: Are there any more questions or can I make a break for it in the space elevator? 

S: Of course there are more. *steals his tablet off his lap* Yoink. Next question. Isabelle asks if your training includes other sports or activities other than martial arts?

K: Yes.

S: *gives her a look that says she’s trying her patience*

K: *rolls her eyes* I was not told that this interview process would be so intrusive, I’m head of security and this is not very secretive.

S: It’s a question about your training, how can that be a bad thing?

K: Is that another question on the list?

S: Don’t get cute, just answer the training one.

K: I used to be on a Parkour team at university, I found that I had a natural affinity for it and I still practice it now and then, just basic wall and rooftop runs, that sort of thing. I also do some weight and strength training, like pull-ups and planks on objects, you never know what you might run into in the field and we should always be prepared. 

J: Natural affinity for it. I think you’re forgetting one thing you used to do that you haven’t mentioned…

K: *narrows her eyes dangerously at him* Don’t you dare.

S: What? What am I missing? Share with the class.

K: *huffs, admitting defeat* I used to do gymnastics when I was younger, lots of tumbling and balance work mostly, which yes *glares a pointed look at John* did contribute to my affinity to Parkour.

J: *smiles evilly* There were ribbons involved-

K: *lunges for him*

J: *drags wife onto his lap to use as a human shield* and twirling!

S: *attempts a very crap version of defensive karate hands* I can wax on and wax off, don’t make me use it. *demonstrates, protecting her man even though he is an ass who is laughing behind the safety of her back*

K: You have to sleep some time, Tracy.

J: I’m protected then too. *peeks over her shoulder to look at Kayo, very tempted to stick out his tongue* What’s the next question, love?

K: I don’t think I want to answer anymore. *crosses her arms defiantly*

S: *continues regardless* Emma asks what is it like living with Five Tracy brothers and who is the biggest pain in the butt?

K: John.

J: Hey!

S: Come on, you don’t mean that. No way is he more annoying and hard to live with than Gordon or Scott. No way in hell.

J: Thanks for the support.

S: You all have your moments, I’m not gonna lie. *pats his hand* Come on, Kay, just give me a decent answer, please. Show these boys how it’s really done, they have just been complete nightmares and we might have Brains next.

J: Wait, we what?

S: Have Brains next, by popular demand. It’ll be fine.

J: Have you met Brains?

S: *deadpans* On a number of occasions, yes. 

J: So you know that he likes the spotlight even less than I do, preferring to hide away in his lab and never see the light of day?

S: You make him sound like Victor Frankenstein. Which would definitely make the place more interesting.

K: *sits quietly looking smug, they have once again forgotten her*

J: I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer. Kayo, what’s it like living with us all?

K: Well, that peace lasted a long time. *straightens from her slouch* It’s noisy, chaotic, and sometimes a little overwhelming.

J: *nods along, and they wonder why he spends so much time in space*

K: You can’t keep anything to yourself. Food, drinks, snacks, magazines, toiletries, everything is up for grabs as far as they are concerned. 

S: Truth. But they do have some good points. 

K: Yes, while it’s sometimes annoying, it’s not all that bad. When you’re having a bad day there is always someone there to talk to if you’re so inclined. You’re never alone and while that’s not always a positive thing, it means that there is always someone there for you when you need them most, you never feel lonely. I know that, whatever happens, there is someone there that has my back.

S: And who is the most annoying?

K: Scott, closely followed by Gordon.

J: Why Scott?

K: Because he’s too up in my business. He always wants to know where I am and what I’m doing.

S: That’s because he cares.

J: I always know where you are too.

K: But you don’t ask me about it and I don’t tell you, we’ve got an understanding. Scott also knows almost all of my snack hiding places and raids them when he’s annoyed with me, which is often. I have nothing left but a couple of Japanese kit-kat bars left, and only because he doesn't like Lychee flavour.

S: Sounds reasonable. He does that to me too, I think he’s just looking for any excuse to eat our snacks.

J: Why do you think I keep all mine up here?

S: Because you’re a genius?

J: Yes.

S: Ready for another question?

K: Do I have a choice?

S: Well, yeah, I mean, you can always say no or refuse to answer one.

J: We’ll let you have one veto.

K: That’s appreciated. Fine, continue.

J: *eyes scan the list* Let's keep it simple, Lauren asks where your dad is?

K: He’s at home *shrugs* He said he was fed up with constantly being on guard and suspicious all the time and that it wasn’t doing his blood pressure any good. So, he retired, moving permanently to his childhood family home so that he could concentrate on his first loves of gardening and cooking. The boys despaired the day he left and they realised they only had Grandma’s cooking to come home to.

S: That brings us nicely to one of Rebecca’s questions. She says, and I quote ‘Spill the beans, is Grandma’s cooking really that bad’?

J & K together: Yes.

S: Elaborate please.

J: * Looks nervously at the camera, he knew from experience (so did Scott) that Grandma had ears like a bat when her culinary skills were being disparaged* 

K: *cares not if she gets caught, continues confidently* She is easily distracted, so loses track of her timings and often tries to compensate. Like if she forgets to put the food in she’ll turn up the heat as far as it will go and cook it for a shorter time. Which leads to it being burnt on the outside and raw on the inside. But sometimes she does it the other way around, where she puts it in too soon and it starts to burn so she turns it off and it goes cold, so it's burnt and cold. 

J: *watches impasively as one would a stupid person about to make a very big mistake, like touch a hot plate without oven mitts* 

K: She loves spices too, hates bland food and thinks that everything needs to be full of flavour. But she’s not too concerned by the amounts the recipe, if she even uses one, calls for. Much like with heat, she thinks more is preferable. Recipes are not something she’s good at following, she tends to just scan it and trust she’ll remember it when she really won’t. 

J: Overconfidence is a family trait.

S: At least she tries, it’s how she shows her love.

K: I’d prefer she showed it with take out, but OK.

S: Sounding a little ungrateful there, Kay.

K: You haven’t lived with it for as long as we have.

S: Next question, before we accidentally start an Island kitchen revolution. Robyn asks ‘ before you got your own ship, who gave you the most rides or how did you get about’?

K: Probably Alan, I tended to have to go along to babysit him a lot at first and I’d make him drop me off on the way home. That or Scott, I couldn’t handle too much of Virgil’s flying.

S: She also asks who was the best pilot from a passenger's perspective.

K: For skill level, probably Alan, but in general, Scott. Alan is technically brilliant, as is Scott, but Alan was under far more restrictions, whereas Scott had less and is more to my tastes.

J: You mean he’s as reckless a pilot as you are and you kept complaining that Virgil was too slow and was boring to ride with.

K: He was and still is. His craft is far too slow, nowhere near as slow as Four, which feels like it’s crawling, but still slow, and he drives like an old lady. Actually, scratch that, Grandma drives faster.

S: Well then, I mean, I’d actually prefer to ride with Virg but...

K: Is that all?

S: *shakes her head and nudges John*

J: *checks the list* Rebecca also asked how you unwind after a tough mission.

K: How does any woman unwind? I quite enjoy a hot bath and a magazine, maybe watching a few shows in bed after. I also like to listen to some soothing music and eat some ice cream.

*S & J look blankly at her*

K: What?

J: *clears his throat* Nothing.

K: *glares at them* 

S: *shifts uncomfortably* We just...we just thought that you would do something a little less…

K: Girly? I am a woman you know.

S: I was going to go with depressed dumpee in a Rom Com, but OK.

J: *snorts out a laugh, then immediately stops when Kayo shoots a warning glare at him*

K: I didn’t have to come here, you know, especially not to be insulted.

S: You’re right, I’m sorry.

J: That was totally my bad *holds his hands up in surrender*

K: *eyes flick to the tablet and she waves a hand to indicate for them to continue*

S: Isabelle wants to know if there is anything you wish you had more time to do or something you want to learn?

K: *thinks about it for a moment or two* That’s actually not a bad question. I wish I had more time to travel.

S: You go all over the world.

K: I know, but that’s for business, not for pleasure. I never get to sight see or experience any of the culture. I’d like to visit some of the places that are significant to my family history, the land of my ancestors, just like Father did when he was younger. I’d like to know more about my roots. As for something I want to learn *pauses to think some more* cooking. *Nods firmly*

S: Cooking?

K: Yes, cooking. Father is a good cook and I’d like to have the time to spend with him and learn some of his favourite traditional dishes, like he used to make when I was a little girl. Family recipes always have little tweaks that you don’t find online or in recipe books, every family is different and they often aren’t written down, I’d like to learn some of them.

J: I’m sure we’d all love for you to learn too, so we could eat them, just to test them for you, obviously.

K: Obviously.

J: You know, to be helpful.

K: Of course.

S: *side whispers* She doesn’t sound like she believes you, babe.

J: *side whispers back* She never does.

K: I can hear you, you know.

S: Two questions left! 

K: Good.

J: Does that mean you won’t be allowing a quick fire round?

K: Whose questions are they?

S: Mine, one minute on the clock, one word answers, you say the first thing that comes into your head.

K: I’ll think about it. 

S: OK then. *checks the list* Steeve asks who spends the longest in the bathroom getting rescue ready?

K: Virgil.

*S & J stay silent* 

K: He’ll say it’s not him, he’ll point the finger at Scott, but we all know the truth.

S: *nods sagely*

K: Scott likes his hair super shiny, but Virgil likes his super high. So he will be there blow drying for up to an hour. 

J: *nods* I watched him once. Brush it out, product, lift it up, blow dry, more product, blow dry, more product, blow dry again, smooth the outside, more product, final blow dry then pat it into place. I got bored just watching him.

K: Says the man who’s got hair like that. *points at John’s front curl*

J: Hey! This is mostly natural. All I use is a little gravity paste to hold it in place so it doesn’t flop about everywhere. I’m enhancing the style, not creating a whole new one.

K: *grins triumphantly that she managed to get him to defend his hair*

S: Your hair is perfect, my love.

J: *self consciously smooths his hair, realises what he’s doing and stops, looking annoyed at himself* What’s the last question? *yanks the tablet closer, scans the list, then freezes* 

K: Well, get on with it.

J: *swallows* I really don’t think we need to do any more, do we? *turns the screen off*

S: What do you mean? We can’t just not read out a question that someone took the time to send in…* takes the tablet* oh.

K: *rolls her eyes* Just read it out.

S: *slides a side eye glance at John who shrugs back, then nudges her to continue* Steven asks who do you secretly have a crush on?

K: *one eyebrow lifts* 

J: You can use your veto for this.

K: No, I can answer. There might be someone that doesn’t annoy me as much as everyone else in the world does. He’s good at his job, he’s handsome and we get on very well, we have things in common and we are comfortable enough to tease each other and enjoy a friendship that has the potential to be more but that we’re happy with either way. *shrugs* That’s all I’m going to say.

S: That could literally be anyone.

K: Yep *buffs her nails on her top and stretches a hand out to examine them*

S: Well, that was somewhat enlightening. I think the listeners have definitely gotten to know you a little better.

K: Then I have to kill them.

S: Ya wha?

K: I’m joking.

S: I knew that.

J: Did you really, though? 

S: I had high hopes she was joking, OK?

K: Is that it? Can I go now?

J: Unless you’ve decided if you want to answer her quick fire questions.

K: *sighs* She’s going to pout at me if I don’t, isn’t she? 

J: Highly likely, but I didn’t think that sort of thing affected you.

K: I can get annoyed as much as the next person.

S: *mutters under her breath* Sometimes more.

K: Fine, ask your silly questions.

S: *grins and sits up straighter* OK, remember the rules, say the first thing that pops into your head, one word answers, feel free to say skip. Babe, time me.

J: *sets a timer* And...go.

S: Favourite colour?

K: Black. 

S: On a scale of one to ten how good are you at keeping secrets?

K: Eleven. 

S: Do you snore?

K: No. 

J: *snorts out a laugh* Forty seconds

S: Texting or Talking?

K: Texting. 

S: Nickname your parents used to call you? 

K: Tin-Tin. 

J: Twenty seconds.

S: If you could travel back in time, what time period would you go to?

K: World War Two. 

J: Ten seconds.

S: If you were an ice cream flavour what would you be?

K: Chilli Chocolate.

S: Are rats cu-

J:Time

S: I was going to ask if rats are cute.

J: We are not getting another rat, Alan already has Fuzz Aldrin. Besides, I already said no to the hamster.

S: But if Kayo got one I could help look after him and cuddle him and stuff.

J: No.

K: Yes.

J: Pardon?

K: Rats are cute.

S: Yessssss!

K: *smirks*

J: I think we’re done here.

K: Finally.

S: You’re both as bad as each other, I swear.

J: Yet you continue to force this ordeal upon me.

S: Yep. *turns back to the camera* That’s it from us here on Five. Thanks for tuning in. Next time we’ll have the little seen in the wild creature known only as the Brains. 

K: *sniggers* He’ll love that.

J: EOS, cut feed. 

If you want to read the rest you can find them here on A03.

[detroitbydark]

Title: Tell Me That Your Soul Lies Now

Relationship: Sev/OC/Scorch

Warnings: Mention of blood and needles used in medical care

Summary: A Stowaway complicated what should be an easy night.

A/N: Based on a HC that Sev and Scorch both end up at Kyrimorut and adopted to Walon Vau. Love, Family, and the ties that bind come into play. I hope you enjoy!  

The Midnight Duke was an unassuming Corellian life class transport, a pre Clone Wars relic retrofitted to meet clan Vau's very particular, discerning tastes. 

Quick, fast, and armed to the teeth it got the job done ferrying Walon Vau’s adopted sons from one bounty to the next. The sons themselves were more than competent to take it from there with efficiency and expertise bred from a jar on Kamino and a lifetime of training by one of the most ruthless Mandalorians to ever exist. 

Dust settles in a thick layer over the Duke’s matte black hull. Its exit from the outer rim asteroid belt had been… dicey and it would need a new coat of paint in the coming days.

It had a lot of things, typically a dead body in storage wasn’t one of them.

“Fek!”

“Wha-“ Scorch barely misses his brother’s arm as he snaps back a step, exposing the open cargo hatch for inspection with a put-upon indignation only he was capable of. There’s a duffle of ordinance, kit and-

“What is this?” Sev’s growl reverberates through his buyce accusingly. Scorch eyes the curled up figure draped in a thick layer of clothes reminiscent of the mining colony they’d just left. 

“People-cicle.” What the hell did he expect him to say? He hadn’t stored a body away. He was in charge of the bounties. The heads of the two marks had been in the bounty bag which was now very empty and in need of laundering because A. Trandoshan blood stank to malachor and B. Human blood was just messy.

“Maker if I know.”

The sun over Kyrimorut was quickly beginning to sink down into the mountainous waste to their north and with it went the warmth of the late season day. They just needed to finish post mission once-over and they could take the speeders the five kliks from the airfield to the warmth of the karyai and a hot meal.

“Maker,” Sev growls again, “Buir is not going to be happy about this”

Buir. It still felt wrong to call the Sarge anything but Sarge. Scorch was sure he’d get used to it eventually. Sev had, oddly enough, but Scorch didn’t really question his vod’s rush to accept their former trainer as his father. The sullen commando had always sought Walon Vau’s approval. It was no worse than the vode of Skirata’s clan and their hero worship of their Kal’buir. 

“We’ll dump it off and be done with it,” Scorch offers, “Animals will take care of it and that’ll be- wait.” A quick blink through his HUD menu brings up an advanced heat scan.

Sev toes at the body with his boot. “What am I waiting on?”

“They're still alive. I got a vital readout. It’s not much but-“ The two clones stand shoulder to shoulder staring at the prone sentient.

“I slot ‘em and we pretend we never saw a thing?”

“The old man’s gonna know either way. Not sure what gets us in more trouble.”

At his side, Sev grunts. Wal’buir knew things.  It was uncanny and downright terrifying. As cadets they’d never been able to get one by the old Mando - not that Sev had ever tried - but Scorch had plenty and had more than a few scars to prove he’d been caught. 

“Kriff.” Sev lets out an uncharacteristic laugh. “Bring it back and Skirata will probably adopt it.”

Scorch can’t help the grin that spreads across his face, “or marry it off.”

“I’m not gonna carry it.” 

The argument that he’d saved both their shebs earlier is about to leave his mouth when a small feminine whine rises from the half frozen sentient. “Well that settles it”

“Marriage,” they both agree in unison.

It’s been a while since he’s been around a woman not already wed or destined to be wed to one of his extended family. Suddenly the idea of carrying the unfamiliar being doesn’t seem so off-putting. 

At least it wasn’t the bounty bag.

———

Buir was going to let them have it. Sev could handle the dressing down from Kal Skirata but he wasn’t sure he could handle it from Vau. 

His stomach twists in knots. The early signs of panic, the ones he was intimately familiar with - brought about by the only father figure he’d ever known - were beginning to make themselves known. He can feel his heart rate picking up. The thick nerf hide sticks to each finger as his palms begin to sweat in his gloves.

He wouldn’t have been able to get away with slotting the grubby stowaway and dumping the body, of that he is sure, there was no good way to keep it clean. Either the Duke or he were going to be covered in it and the water pumps at the strip had gone out a week before. They’d brought the replacement back but it would take one of Kal’s boys to plumb it up. 

“Ordo’s going to have kittens.” Scorch’s voice rings clear through his comms.

“Yeah, Bes is pregnant with what...” He rattles off the names of the clans ad in his head and begins assigning them to parents. “Number three?”

“Yeah, he’s always got a kad up his shebs when she’s carrying. This is going to royally piss him off.” 

Sev watches as Scorch readjusts the woman in front of him. She’d started shivering after they’d yoinked her from her spot in storage. Still hadn’t woken but It was a good sign. Her body seemed to actively be trying to warm up. They figured they’d help it along and wrapped her snugly in a thermal sheet from the emergency kit. Before Sev had at least been able to see her nose, a set of dark brows and fluttery lashes, nothing too unlike those some of his sister-in-laws had, now it was only the closed lids of her eyes visible. For all intents and purposes she looked like a bantha wrap he’d gotten from a food cart last time they’d been on Coruscant. 

Per the limited data from their HUDs she probably wasn’t in much better shape. She seemed stable, but it wasn’t guaranteed even with the vheh’yaims medical center and the clan’s skills she’d survive the long haul. They’d spent two days in hyperspace and she spent that time in a minimally heated interior storage compartment. The bloody marks along the hatch’s interior showed that she hadn’t had as comfortable a ride as they had. It was another thing they’d need to clean up but it could wait a day or two.

There were no ration wrappers, no canteens of water in the hold with her. They’d looked. 

Hypothermia was her biggest issue but dehydration wasn’t far behind, and the ease with which Scorch had lifted her left him to believe that malnutrition had been an ongoing issue. The bulk of her was the thick rough clothes the miners had worn. 

“We take her to Wal’buir before Skirata gets his turn. Let buir decide what to do.” The speeders rumble to life as they take off from the small airfield and head in the direction of home.

It takes less time then he remembered to cover the distance from the airstrip to the sprawling compound they called home.

“Look,” Scorch notes merrily, “they left the lights on for us.”

By the time they’re pulling up to the vheh’yaim Sev feels his breath coming rapidly. 

“Maybe the old man’s having some ti’haar with the neighbors?” Scorch sounds hopeful as he pulls his buyce off one handed and clips it to his belt. “We get her into medical and then have to explain our fek up. Mij should still be here.” He hopes aloud that the family doctor was still rotating through before heading back to Enceri. 

Mij Gilamar was a good a doctor as any clone commando, null, or trooper could ever hope for. If their guest made it through the next few days she’d do good to thank Gil.

Sev throws his leg over the speeder and grabs for his kit and the bounty bag while his brother jostles the woman into a better hold. The lights shine through the low windows peering into Skirata clan’s karyai and Sev can imagine his buir sitting by the warm fire drinking the potent Mandalorian liquor and busting Kal Skirata’s gett’se about something.

“Su cuygar Ad’ike.”

Or not.

Both men snap to. Instead of “Sir” an acknowledgement of “Buir” is barked. If Vau notices the near comical response he doesn’t let on. His golden eyes are narrowed firmly on the package in Scorch’s arms.

Sev isn’t sure he’s ever seen his brother lost for words and Scorch must decide today wasn't going to be the day.

“We brought a present. Heard Kal’buir is trying to settle Mereel down. Think this will work?”

Vau, emotionless stony Vau, stands for a moment before the hint of a sly smile flashes at the corner of his mouth. Sev’s heart jumps. The smile falls away with such quickness that had the man himself not trained him to be the best, Sev would have questioned if it had ever been present to begin with.

“Shall we get our guest set up? Maybe you boys can explain how you managed to bring home a stray while we do?”

Yeah they we’re in trouble. He can hear Scorch gulp through his comms as Vau turns away and heads towards the main entrance of their home.

Growing up with so many brothers, child soldiers who were destined to grow up too soon, Sev had never been privy to concepts like privacy. It shouldn’t irk him that eyes follow them as they enter the vheh’yaim, following their father through the one of the many different spokes off the main karyai toward medical. The low flicker of fire light catches on the rich golden plates of Mij Gilamar’s beskar’gam.

Without much more than a tired sigh, the silver haired Mando finishes his drink and rises from his spot near the fire to follow.

Sev finds himself thankful that even amongst the faces like his own, Ordo Skirata’s was not present. He wasn’t in the mood to hear what Kal Skirata’s golden child would have to say. He’d have to hear it eventually but he hoped he could at least grab a shower and hot meal before he had to deal with the Null.

Scorch elbows him in the side and Sev casts him a questioning glance. “In your head again, vod?”

“Just worrying about Ord’ika.”

“I would be less concerned about Ordo,” Vau remarks casually, “and more about me.”

To their left, Mij Gilamar huffs out a laugh as he motions for Scorch to lay the patient out. “Let’s worry about the aruetii first shall we? Where’d you pick this one up?” the doctor asks as Scorch begins to help him liberate her from the thermal blanket and then layer after layer of thick and dusty fabric. 

“New asteroid mining station in the outer rim, Kappa Black,” Sev offers, “and we didn’t know we even had her on ship.”

It takes gett’se to openly admit that in front of his training Sergeant but Vau says nothing.

Scorch picks up where Sev leaves off as the last layer of outer clothes is tossed aside. Sev had been right. There really wasn’t much to the woman underneath the bulk of gear.

“We picked off the bounties. Cake walk.” The demolitions expert chirps happily but Sev can hear the well hidden undertone of anxiety in his voice. “We got in. We got out. Didn’t stop to sight see.”

Vau looks down his nose, glancing slowly from one to the other and then to the girl being hooked up to tubes and monitors. “It appears you didn’t stop to check your ship over either.”

“We had to leave in a hurry. She’d tucked herself behind gear,” Sev explains, knowing it wouldn’t be good enough, “We-“

A cry rises up from the bed as the woman’s eyes shoot open. He knows panic when he sees it.

“Fierfek!” Mij curses as his recently placed central line is caught along the bed and yanked from her neck. Fluids flow freely, mixing with a steady stream of blood as the doctor grabs for gauze and fights to press it against the puncture. 

“Some kriffing help would be good,” he grunts as he manages to dodge a fist. 

Sev steps in. He manages to grab both wrists in a single movement, pressing them to the bed as her lower body twists and her legs kick out. He tries to judge his own strength, his hands swallow her wrists. 

“Restraints are in the drawer.” He hears Mij but his eyes are focused on the woman under him. “No! The other drawer.”

“Sorry Doc, gotta lot of drawers here.”

Sev ignores his brother as a leg swings wildly his way, its knee connecting with solid beskar along his back. She doesn’t even flinch. Sev positions his body over hers, swinging a leg over her hip and looping his feet over her thighs. She doesn’t stop fighting. 

“Stop!” He snarls down into her face, voice coming out gruff and modulated through his buyce. Stark blue eyes focus in on him as she suddenly goes deathly still. They stand out against the warm tan of her skin, only a shade lighter than his own. Her hair is a tangle of unkempt curls and knots. She looks feral and wild, bears her white teeth like an animal. Sev adjusts his grip as she begins her fight again, thrashing and bucking under him.

“I said stop!” He snarls again, and something changes in her eyes. Fear flashes. Her snarl turns into a frightened “o” of surprise before he feels her muscles begin to go slack underneath him. He glances to his side in time to see his buir remove the hypo from her arm.

Mij grunts. A bead of sweat glistens at his grey temple. “Always prepared, right Walon? I hope you took into account her body mass because I don’t feel like dealing with a heart that doesn’t want to beat.”

Vau smiles, holding up the still half full syringe and flicking it lightly with a well manicured nail. “This isn’t my first time. Now Sev’ika, please climb off our guest and let’s try this again,” the black armored Mando says calmly.

———

“I don’t like it. It’s too convenient.” 

Scorch rolls his eyes behind the mirrored visor of his buyce. Ordo Skirata has made himself known shortly after Mij had gotten their little stowaway stabilized. She’d be sleeping off the worst of  her hyperspace sickness. If she did decide to wake again they could all be secure in the fact that Scorch himself had tightened down her restraints.

The hot brand Doc found behind her left ear had answered more than a few questions she wouldn’t be able to answer for a while. A slavers mark denoting property of the Mining Guild. Between that and her poor condition, Scorch couldn’t blame her for hopping the first ship off the asteroid belt she could find.

 It did make them thieves technically, but he had strong feelings about people being property and it really hadn’t been the first time they’d creatively acquired something. He’d tried to ask Sev his opinion but he didn’t seem much for banter after they’d found the brand. Even Wal’buir had seemed a bit more disgusted than usual.

Then Kal Skirata showed up at the med bay door with his eldest in tow and a few of Omega’s commandos, Niner and Fi, trailing behind.

And now the adults were talking and it was his job to shut up .

“It doesn’t matter if you like it or not at this point,” Mij was saying firmly, “I’m not about to put a sick girl out.” His eyes flash challengingly to the Skirata clan head. “There’s nothing you can do to change my mind about it either, Kal.”

For his part, Kal Skirata has been fairly quiet, standing to Ordo’s side with his arms crossed loosely over his chest and a contemplative look on his face. Every now and then Scorch would catch old Kal’buir trying to sneak a peek at their acquisition. Scorch also noted both he and Sev had placed themselves between the other men and the bed. He could think of a star cruiser worth of smart things to say, but not one could account for the near-defensive position Sev was taking or Scorch’s own flanking of his brother.

“Besany’s pregnant-“

“Oh really?” Scorch can’t help himself. The words just come out because kriff, was Bes never not pregnant? “I wasn’t aware.” 

Sev snorts to his side as does Niner hovering behind the Null. Fi barely manages a suppressed smile as Ordo’s eyes narrow. Scorch rolls his shoulders, loosening the stiff joints up. It was always about Kal’s boys. It was always cowing down to Nulls. It got old fast. Next to him Sev’s neck pops as he rolls it.

“You got an issue, Scorch?”

“And if he does?” Sev’s voice cuts in. 

It had been awhile since there’d been a good family tussle. It might be time to take it outside and fix that.

“Scorch. Sev.” Walon Vau’s crisp, aristocratic voice cuts through the tension and posturing “Stand down. It’s late and I’m tired.”

Kal tips his head to his Null son. “You too Ord’ika. Everyone is concerned for the safety of the women and children, but if I know your wife she would no sooner have us dispose of an escaped slave as she would one of your deserter vode.”

“We’ve had squads do worse to get here,” Niner adds levelly.

“True, ad’ika,” Skirata agrees pleasantly, taking a step toward the bed. Sev’s sudden step forward seems to reignite the tension as he blocks Kal’s line of sight. The older man casts an appraising look at the Commando and Scorch feels every muscle in his body coil in anticipation. Kal Skirata could play the good natured ba’buir all he wanted, but below the surface he was anything but. He was as cold blooded as it came before you got his family involved, but once you crossed one of his boys Scorch wasn’t sure there was a star system you could hide in that the old Mando merc wouldn’t find you in.

Scorch wasn’t sure where he and Sev placed in the family tree but he wouldn’t be caught unawares if it was time to find out.

“She’ll be our charge,” Vau says cooly, stepping between the two Delta commandos.

“And if she’s brought trouble with her, what then?”

“We let Sev slot ‘er and Mird will have a nice treat,” Scorch offers as if they were speaking of troublesome roba. The mention of Mird is enough to get a shudder from both Niner and Ordo and a wet sound of agreement from the creature itself as it slinks in between Fi’s legs.

The strill circles around its master’s feet before giving Sev and Scorch a cursory sniff. 

“Walon,” Mij Gilamar’s voice is low with warning.

“Lord Mirdalan is an excellent judge of character.” The golden furred creature leaps to the bed with predatory grace. Scorch watches the strill stare expectantly at the sedated woman before turning twice and curling up on her legs. “See?”

Fi, who’d been quietly observing - for once - speaks up after a moment. “It may just be me, but I’m not sure Mird’s approval is necessarily a good thing.”

[whythinktoomuch]

iv. to be as good as dead

(pt. i)  (pt. ii)  (pt. iii) 

tw: gore & death (but only of zombies :D)

Kara’s awareness gradually slips out of the syrupy depths of sleep, the low rumbles of Lena and Alex’s conversation casually filtering into her ears. She starts to stir, jerking fully awake only when she accidentally elbows Lena right in the ribs. 

“Oh, shoot, sorry,” Kara says hastily, as Lena clutches at her side with a wheeze. “Oops. I, yeah, sorry.” 

Kara inches over in a futile attempt to provide Lena with some more space, but her bed was never really meant to accommodate more than one person at a time.

“It’s fine,” Lena grumbles. “I actually prefer my lungs bruised.” 

“I’m sorry…” 

Alex just shakes her head as she approaches the bed, and Kara is already averting her eyes with an extended sigh. But Alex crouches down anyway, places a gentle hand atop Kara’s shoulder and squeezes. 

“I heard what happened,” she says softly. “It wasn’t your fault.” 

“I was leading the group, so of course it was my fault.” Kara directs her words more to her pillow than anyone else. “Like you’ve always said, if you’re the lead—”

“Forget what I said!” Alex snaps. “You’re alive, okay? And you brought everyone else back here, alive. Which means you did the right thing, and that’s all that matters.” 

Kara shrugs and just curls up into a smaller ball underneath the sheets. Alex sighs, giving Kara’s shoulder another comforting squeeze before slowly climbing to her feet. But on her way out, Alex takes one last pause by the door. She gestures aimlessly toward Kara’s bed. “So, what’s going on here? You two officially banging, or…?” 

“Oh, shut up, Alex, god! It’s not even like—”

“No, Kara was just having trouble falling asleep, so—”

“Mmhm, yeah, I bet,” Alex says, cutting off both their protests as she shuts the door behind her. 

“You’re such a fast reader,” Kara comments, as she watches Lena thumbing through her second trashy romance novel of the day. “You must really dig those, huh?” 

“I kinda hate them actually,” Lena says with a shrug. “But I’m also kinda into the fact that I hate them, so it all works out.” 

���Hm…” Kara nods thoughtfully to herself. Then, “Well, hang on, are they dirty?” 

Lena’s pale features are instantly awash in a very conspicuous shade of pink. “No,” she says several beats too late, and Kara practically pounces onto Lena’s side of the bed.  

“Oh no, no, wait!” Lena is laughing as she falls backwards, Kara scrambling on top as she grabs for the book. “No, Kara, stop, you’re not allowed to look!” 

Kara fumbles with the book, fingertips slipping off the glossy cover as Lena tosses it just out of reach behind her. But persistent as ever, Kara just climbs a bit higher, now practically straddling Lena’s stomach. Her next swipe overshoots by a tad though, and she ends up swatting at Lena’s rucksack instead. 

“No—!” Lena says in a sharp inhale, but Kara’s already caught the bag by one of the shoulder straps before it could hit the ground. 

Though considerably lighter now, the rucksack seems to still hold quite a few private things that give a distinct clink as Kara gently sets it back on the bed. 

They both stare at the bag in silence until Kara springs back into action, snatching up the romance novel with a triumphant Yoink! and jumping onto her own bed. She’s barely flipped through the first few pages when the book’s being ripped out of her hands, and Lena’s climbing into her lap and kissing her. 

All of Kara’s grunts of surprise are muffled against Lena’s soft yet sweetly insistent mouth. It’s been a while—much too long of a while, in fact—but Kara’s body eventually remembers what to do, and she’s seizing Lena by the hips and hauling her onto the bed. 

Kara’s breaths are ragged as she settles on top, her kisses near frenzied and desperate, and getting messier and messier by the second. But Lena doesn’t seem to be faring much better, with her eyes darkened, hips bucking up against Kara’s, and it’s honestly gratifying enough just to feel this wanted. 

But then Kara’s tugging at the hem of Lena’s shirt, dragging it up to expose soft skin, the paleness only marred by a slight blush of desire, when Lena stiffens underneath her. 

“Oh, is this… is this all right?” Kara asks, freezing in place. “Because we totally don’t have to.” 

Lena’s face screws up, hesitant. “Um.” 

The door swings opens, and Kara and Lena scramble off each other, in a hasty attempt to make it somehow seem like they weren’t doing exactly what they were just caught doing. 

“Wow,” says Alex, just so utterly bored. “Can’t wait to hear your excuse for this one.” 

A couple of weeks later, Kara and Lena are lazing around in the sun—Kara bouncing a tennis ball against a brick wall, Lena reading some two-dollar sci-fi thriller. They still have yet to talk about the kiss. 

It’s not that they are avoiding it, per se. It’s just been way easier to talk about all the other things worth discussing. 

Like, for example, 

“They’re gearing up for a supply run,” Lena says, eyeing the small group forming by the front gate. She watches as they pass out the guns, lace up their boots, and fix up their backpacks, and such. 

“Yeah.” Kara doesn’t look over. 

“You’re not going with them?” 

“No, Alex is gonna go this time,” Kara says shortly, already walking off toward the barracks before Lena could ask why, tennis ball left behind and forgotten. 

“Hey,” Lena says, when she eventually finds Kara lying in bed with her dusty boots still on. “Let’s get out of here.” 

“What?” 

“Let’s leave the camp for a while. Stretch our legs somewhere that’s not packed with all these people,” Lena insists. “Didn’t you say that there’s a lake nearby? Let’s go there.” 

 “… Why?” 

“Why not? It’s a free country.” 

Kara actually snorts. “There is no country anymore, Lena.” 

“Whatever, let’s just go get some privacy then,” Lena says with a shrug, and Kara perks right up. 

“Privacy?” Kara echoes. “With me.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah.” Kara nods a lot. “Yeah, okay.” 

It’s not very hard to sneak out the front gate, and the ease of their escape forces Kara to admit that maybe this is something that she’s done before. “But only like once or twice. And only when I was going absolutely stir-fucking-crazy, I swear.” 

The aforementioned lake is a trek of couple of miles, but inherent peace brought on by the very sight of it is well worth the journey. Kara stretches out beneath the shade of her favorite tree, heart and face relaxing as one as she watches Lena dip her toes in the water. 

Within minutes, Kara’s on her back with her eyes fluttering shut. And within a few more minutes, Lena is snuggled up to her, head cradled against Kara’s chest, and for a while, everything is good again. 

Kara’s just basking in the sun, taking a brief nap in between classes on a grassy hill, and Lena’s her girlfriend who adores her despite all her cheesy puns, and they’ll probably share a tub of ice cream at some point in the night before engaging in lots of sex and way too little sleep, and everything was just good. 

Almost good enough to be true

“KARA!” 

The panic in Lena’s voice has Kara’s eyes snapping open, and she feels a violent tug on her left foot. A growling zombie, lake water dripping off its disgusting, bloated body as it drags Kara closer to its snapping jaws. 

Kara immediately launches her other foot forward, smashing it into the zombie’s face as hard as she can. It gives her the leverage to slip out of her left boot and scramble to her feet. 

She shoots point blank right through the top of its head. 

But more and more zombies start emerging from the lake, all puffy and rotted, their swollen faces split open in near identical snarls. Kara shoots them down, one by one, but more just keep coming to take their place in an endless swarm. 

“Fuck, fuck,” Kara swears, her fingers clumsy as she tries to reload her gun. “Fuck it, run, Lena, run!” 

They take off sprinting, and actually manage to outrun most of the zombies that are thankfully still incapacitated by their bloated limbs, waterlogged and somewhat useless. 

When Kara throws a glance over her shoulder, just to make sure they’re still in the clear, she misses the dip in terrain, and the pothole sends her sprawling across the dirt. 

Kara turns around and a zombie is already almost upon her, its stagger increasing in speed, as if it could already taste the sweet victory of Kara’s flesh. She reaches for her gun, but it’s landed too far away, and the spare bullets even farther. By the time she faces forward again, she’s all out of options. 

A single gunshot rings out, and the zombie falls heavily on top of Kara, blood and bile spurting all over her face, mouth, and body. She coughs at the taste of decay and rotting water, clambering out from underneath the zombie, now motionless with a prominent hole through its right eye. 

Lena’s standing a couple feet away, Kara’s gun clutched in both hands. She gets the next two zombies between the eyes, then a third right through its cheek. 

The first two crumple instantly, but the last doesn’t slow one bit as it charges at Lena. 

But she doesn’t flinch, only whips out her hunting knife, leaping forward to meet the zombie head-on, and sticks the blade right through its protruding forehead with a shout. 

If Kara didn’t have an entire dollop of zombie goo still dripping from her mouth, she probably would have kissed Lena again right then and there. 

Kara’s not too sure on how or when she finds out, but by the time Alex is back from the scavenging mission, she’s stomping toward her and Lena like she already knows. 

“Listen, Alex,” Kara starts off right away, swiftly putting herself in front of Lena. “It’s not her fault. I wanted to go too, and, look, we’re fine now, and…” 

But Alex shoves right past her and yanks Lena into a violent bear hug that lifts her straight off the ground. “Thank you,” she sobs over and over again into Lena’s hair. “Thank you for keeping her safe.”

(next part here)

[chandelier-s-notebook]

Welcome to Chandelier does another fucking prompt list!!!!

And it’s in addition to consistent story uploads. Y’all gonna get something at 9am everyday of June, and something at a random time later in the afternoon.

This time I'm using @crowfootwrites' June List Day 1: Suit

*A note to Crow. Hello! I am an MCYT Writer. Feel free to stop by my tagging of your whenever you feel like it.

Set in a Villain AU created by @olde-scratch their original post

If anyone wants to be part of a taglist of the Villain AU, feel free to message me/send an ask.

Taglist: @sleepysnails

“Klupa” means “Bench” btw, I just tossed it through Google Translate.

-----------------------------

Hero Report

Page 1

Date: June 1st, 2021 Hero Reporting: Nightmare Patrol Time: 22:00 to 6:00

Had a run in with one of the Klupa boys, they were at the 24h Cupcakery on 6th street, and were harassing the employ, Nihachu, for something to eat. I spared Theseus twenty bucks and told them to keep the change. They even bought me a cupcake before I went on my way.

Does anybody know their real world identities yet? They look on the young side; I’d rather nothing bad happens to them. It hurts to see kids so young needing to resort to petty crime to survive.

I also bumped into SBI. They picked up their deposit left by 404 in the prior patrol. I managed to grab the briefcase, but the money was already taken and presumably dispersed among the men. I wasn’t able to apprehend them.

I got close to Burr but he let go of the briefcase to get away. And The Blade proceeded to smoke me, so I wasn’t able to give chase. But I was able to retrieve some of the money back, and they are one smoke bomb poorer.

The rest of the night was uneventful. I stopped a robbery on 9th Street.

[CONT]

- - -

Time: 21:30, May 31st, 2021

Tommy was having a good day. 404 had made good on his promise. He had left a briefcase with one million dollars in the homeless shelter’s food stores.

Tommy had watched 404 come in and leave it. The personal information Tubbo had managed to siphon was good enough blackmail to get them this. Ranboo hadn’t actually ever gotten a buyer lined up, but it was the threat that counts.

“How much are we leaving again?”

“Twenty-five hundred thousand.”

Tommy dropped to the floor once the coast was clear and unzipped his backpack. He separated out three quarters of the cash and left the briefcase right there.

“Do we have to leave it?” Ranboo asked over the frequency. “We could really use that money.”

“You know if we weren’t so charitable we wouldn’t need the extra cash.”

“Shut up man.”

“I’m just saying.” Tommy takes out a fresh smoke bomb, and places it next to the money. “Do you ever feel back for those guys?”

“Who? The Sleepy Bois? No not really.”

“But like. What did they ever do?”

“Nothing.”

“Exactly! Why do they get all the credit?”

“Because we’re orphaned high schoolers,” Tubbo said dryly. “Because if we aren’t even on the suspect list then we aren’t gonna get caught.”

“Okay,” Tommy relented. “But those are like, super incompetent, what’s our plan when they finally get caught?”

Silence washed over the comms as Tommy yoinked a bag of chips and got out of there.

“Is keeping the three of them out of jail even worth it?”

“Yes,” Tubbo said. “It’s worth it. Investing in their safety is beneficially to us.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you guys at the Cupcakery. Theseus out.”

 Time: 22:47, May 31st, 2021

Tubbo and Ranboo are in the Cupcakery on 6th Street when Tommy walks in knives out. “I want a French chocolate swirl lady!”

Niki took a moment to process the demand. Here she was having a lovely conversation with two of her most favourite late night customers, and now the third was threatening her with a knife. “Excuse me?”

“French chocolate swirl. Hand it over. I’m in the mood for some sweets. Don’t make me ask twice!”

Niki finally put her hands up. Tubbo and Ranboo were in their civilian clothing and played the part of worried shoppers. “Do you have money?” she asked, scared.

“I have a knife.”

And that was the moment a hero walked into the building.

Ah.

Tommy had spotted Nightmare on the way here.

“Theseus.”

Tommy whirled around. Backing into the counter, acting more scared than he actually was.

“What are you doing kid?” Nightmare asked exasperated.

“M’ not a kid!”

“Yeah yeah.” Nightmare was already reaching into the back pocket for his wallet. He took about a crisp twenty. “Put the knife away kid. Buy yourself the cupcake.”

“Oh.” Tommy reached out for the twenty; eyes shifting looking around for the trap. He had a 750k ransom in his backpack, and there was always a chance Nightmare had found them out. Even with the SBI decoy. He snatched the cash. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome kid. Stop harassing Niki here, and keep the change.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Nightmare, clearly satisfied with his diffusion of the situation, nodded to Niki.

“Would you like a cupcake?”

“Excuse me?”

“Nevermind.”

“I mean if you’re offering.”

“Two French chocolate swirls please!”

Niki pulled out two cupcakes stiffly and took the twenty. She put them and the change on the counter.

Nightmare tipped an invisible hat to Niki before leaving. “Think you’re suit needs some dry cleaning Theseus.”

“Because I can afford it!” Tommy bantered back. The door bell rung as the hero left. “Oh of these days my comments are going to get me killed, I know. Shush Tubbo.” Tommy lowered his green bandana and took a bite of his cupcake. “Sorry for pulling a knife on you Niki.”

“It’s fine. I know you won’t hurt me.”

“What the fuck Tommy!”

“Oh shut up Tubbo. I had it under control.”

“You’re going to be our downfall,” Ranboo said.

“You guys are the ones telling Niki!”

“Yeah but it’s Niki.”

“Yeah Tommy. I’m just Niki.”

“You’re right that was rude. I’m sorry Niki.”

Niki took out a cloth and wiped Tommy’s crumbs away. “You boys get home. Isn’t it a school night?”

The three fourteen year olds groaned.

“Bye Niki.”

“Don’t get caught.”

Tommy handed Ranboo his backpack.

Tubbo and Ranboo packed their homework into Tubbo’s backpack and their loose stationary with the money in Ranboo’s. They waved to Niki and walked back to their shotty little apartment.

Tommy put his bandana over his mouth and nose, and readjusted his red blazer. He left through the front door back towards the trade cite. He was needed to save SBI’s assess from Nightmare.

He flicked his steel throwing cards around his hands. He hoped it’ll go well. He needed this to go well.

- - -

Time: 23:00, May 31st, 2021

Wilbur read the instructions he had written on the inside of this arm one more time. “There is a briefcase with 250k. Disperse it among the three of you. When Nightmare arrives at 23:15 for the meeting time of 0:00, hold the briefcase and run like hell. You should have the money on your person, don’t let him catch any of you and ditch the briefcase if need be.”

“I still don’t get how we managed to get this money,” Philza said on the way to the homeless shelter’s food storage facility.”

“Don’t question it.”

“But, like, it said it was a ransom for blackmail. We don’t have any blackmail on anybody.”

“Don’t question it.”

“Guys can you focus? We have a mission to accomplish.”

“Techno, you gotta admit that we’re shit.”

“We are shit. But Nightmare doesn’t know that. And I’m not turning down 250k.”

- - -

Time: 23:58, May 31st, 2021

Shit. Tommy had need to graze Nightmare’s ankle with his ace of clubs for Burr to escape.

Nightmare was clearly put out that he hadn’t been able to catch the SBI. He left the storage facility empty briefcase in hand, and clearly put out.

Nightmare bent down and picked up the throwing card from under an aisle.

If there was one thing Tommy hated the most out of this whole, pretend the SBI are the ones doing the things that the Klupa Boys are doing, it’s that Burr gets credit for Tommy’s amazing feats.

“In case either of you are awake and on comms. The SBI had a clean escape, but I’m down a card.”

- - -

[CONT]

Notes: The SBI are still at large and are a danger to the people of Braidingston. Be advised that they might still ask for more money depending on the contents of their information. Order French chocolate swirls from the Cupcakery on 6th Street at the next office party.