#they were both so lonely goddd

[missus-paint]

Oh winds, carry me, carry me, far away,

Until another day, until another June

[spideysbruh]

anniversary

a post from every year on their anniversay 🩷🩷

year one-

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- one year 😳🩷

liked by tchalamet and 100,177 others

y/n so elated, I'm a happy girl 🩷

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randocalrissian happy era !!!

yourfriend !!!!

tchalamet 🩷🩷

year two-

liked by y/n, sabrinacarpenter and 2,177,612 others

tchalamet two years with the love of my life. I know I'll love you forever.

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chalshal this soft launch is killing me oh my goddd

dunesarrakis it's @y/n they like each other's posts and she's been seen out with him and even Pauline so much !!

paulstimmy I'm fine... im sooo fine and so chill about this😁😁😁....😭😭😭😭🔫🔫🔫

y/n upgraded to an insta post this year lets gooo

liked by tchalamet

tchalamet only many more to come

cinderellayn what's next year? marriage 🤔🤔🤭🤭

rachelzegler happy two years guys !!! love you both 🫶

y/n and tchalamet liked

liked by tchalamet, madisonbeer and 324,287 others

y/n two years of doing silly little things with you, my beautiful boy.

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badideayn BEAUTIFUL BOY 😭😭😭🫶🫶

arrakischalamet OMFGGGG

kylestimmy BRO I KNEW ITTTT

tchalamet I love you

year three-

liked by y/n, taylorswift, ayoedebiri and 4,565,655 others

tchalamet loving you is the biggest fucking privilege in the world. I feel sorry for every person that doesn't get to know you and be loved by you. it's the best feeling. I love you, y/n. happy anniversary, baby.

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chalsharry sooooo happy for you guys 😁😁 (I am going to kms over this)

timotheesknees they are too cute oh my word

y/n sobbing. thank you my love

liked by tchalamet

tchalamet no, thank YOU

kylescigarette the caption... I need a bf sooooo bad

tsgf damn she ugly

bonestimmy damn you're a weirdo

ynscurtains hottest couple ever me thinks

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler and 432,277 others

y/n three years 😳 I love you more than words can express. thank you for loving me, walking with me in the freezing cold cause I need a snack, and for putting up with me and my random fun facts. I love you forever, timmy.

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especiallytimothee THE WAY THE SECOND PICS IN BOTH OF THEIR POSTS MATCH OMGGG

duneschalamet THE SECOND PIC 💀💀💀💀 lucky girl fr...

timmyslay the last pic LOLL he's so cute

ynsgirlfriend oh to hear her random fun facts

timmyynstan obsessed w their posts about each other

tchalamet I could never get tired of you or your fun facts, your knowledge astounds me every time.

liked by y/n

sunshinetimmy I'm literally so lonely

year four-

liked by y/n, zendaya, dylanminnette and 4,228,277 others

tchalamet four years with my muse. I love you mon amour. i love how much you support me in everything I do, and give me guidance when I need it (your candor is much appreciated) I knew when we first met and you made me laugh harder than anyone else ever has that you were gonna change my life, and that you were the girl of my dreams. happy anniversary my lovely girl.

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wonkatimmy WHEN WILL SOMEBODY LOVE ME🤣🤣🤣

timmysgf manifesting they break up soon 🙏🏼

arrakisyn HE AINT GONNA DATE YOU 🗣🗣

dunepaul y/n is too beautiful I swearrr

y/n 🥺🥺🥺 I love you hottie

tchalamet liked

liked by tchalamet, sabrinacarpenter and 664,616 others

y/n happy anniversary my darling boy, you make me feel like the most loved girl in the world. I am so lucky and so grateful and so incredibly elated to be with you.

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tchalamet you ARE the most loved girl in the world

liked by y/n

wallowsyn I wonder how many pics she has of him that we'll never see...

tsgf she's definitely not the most loved... idk a single person irl that knows her or even likes her LOL

laurieslaurence yall are too cuteeee I swear

tchalamet I love you.

year five-

liked by y/n, yourfriend, florencepugh and 6,777,717 others

tchalamet happy five years, my love. i don't know how i survived before i met you. every day with you is a dream. I love that I'm still learning new things about you.

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florencepugh you guyssss are the best couple I swear

tchalamet and y/n liked

timmysbath I look forward to their anniversay posts every year

tsgf well they're gonna break up soon according to the celeb gossip accounts so say goodbye to that

laurieslaurence girl where did you hear that LMAOO just so delusional I swear

paulstimmy "celeb gossip sites" just say its from your own head and go

y/n 🥺🥺 being with you is the best thing to ever happen to me

tchalamet liked

wonkaswhore THE LAST PICCC OMGGG 😳😳

liked by tchalamet, calahlane, rachelzegler and 998,717 others

y/n I'll forever be your own personal photographer. whether a cannibal, chocolatier, or the heir of house atreides, i'm with you for as long as you'll have me. happy anniversary my lovely, talented, beautiful, sweet boy.

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moderntimmy a cannibal 😭😭 she's a bones and all stan fr

y/n hell yeah best movie ever!! I watch it when I miss him 💀💀

liked by tchalamet

tchalamet how does forever sound?

y/n liked

paulsdunes I LOVE YALL SO MUCHHH

floralyn HE'S SO CUTEEEE IMMA KMS

tchalamet I love you so badddd good lord

y/n liked

floralyn hes so in loveee 😭😭

year six-

liked by y/n, tomholland2013, zendaya and 10,177,717 comments

tchalamet happy six years, my fiancé.

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ynandtimstan CRYINGGG can't believe they're engaged now I'm so happy for them

dunestimmy I ❤️ my parents

lauriexamy that one account is kicking the ground fr

y/n ummmm where's my paragraph this year? 🙄

tchalamet liked

tchalamet being written down for my vows, where's mine? 🤔

liked by tchalamet, sabrinacarpenter and 1,981,876 others

y/n this time next year we'll be husband and wife. I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve this, but I'm sooo fucking grateful. I love you my fiancé!!!!

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yourfriend wedding of the century!!!

liked by y/n

lauriesring god I wish I was friends with them

tchalamet okay you said you wouldnt post that last one !!!

y/n I never said that! you're just so cuteeeeee, bub !!!!!

rachelzegler when are we going dress shoppinggggg

liked by y/n

tchalamet I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

*

[yandereshingeki]

Milk, Honey, and Sugar

Yandere Eren x Reader

Milk Honey and Sugar Masterlist

previous • next

Word Count: 12.7k

Content: College AU, Yandere content, Obsessive and Possessive behavior, Fluff, Smut, Dark content, Jiyuu beloved

Content Warnings: Stockholm Syndrome, Obsessive Behavior, Eren is a bit of a pervert, but somehow also shy about it, reader going thru it, Eren is described at taller than reader, Pet names (Angel, Baby), Dubcon (from stockholm syndrome), Eren is SO WEAK TO YOU, you’re both a bit shy, Reader is implied to be a tiny bit insecure, Tiddy sucking, Falacio, hand job, Little bit of subby! Eren but only a little, description of Eren’s dick lol, reader makes him CRY, mention of him pulling their hair a little, a smidge of edging, aftercare

Summary: After the realization hits that you aren't ever going to see your friends again, Eren is the one to comfort you—slowly turning you more and more dependent on him.

Oh my goddd It's been so long and I'm so sorry!!! A bunch of things got in the way of me writing for a while, but It's finally back! I'm going to try to focus on this series more so hopefully, there won't be such a big gap in posting again! I already have the next part nearly finished so it shouldn't be long before the next chapter! Also, I'd like to say thank you to anyone that's still here after my absence and anyone that's been here from before :,,) I'm so grateful. I hope this is enough to satisfy until the next chapter! There's a little doodle at the end for you all <33 Can't wait to write the most exciting parts of the story!! (In my opinion at least, lol) Please enjoyy

Chapter 7: Warmth (part 1)

The hours grew longer the more days you spent alone.

Your world was quiet, apart from the tick of the plastic analog clock or the occasional sound of water going through pipes and creaking footsteps from above. Being stuck on your own was such a lonely, stir-crazy existence. The only time you found solace from it was when Eren would make his way down the stairs, greeting you with his abnormally gentle smile and a soft kiss, giving you the company you constantly longed for and sometimes a consoling meal.

He had you wrapped around his finger by now, so tired of the isolation and quiet that you’d do almost anything if it meant he’d stay, just to ease your loneliness for a while. He was a distraction you took with little resistance because you didn’t want to think about the pain of being trapped for even a second.

He seemed to be the only thing that helped your ever-fragile mood, the one thing keeping you grounded as your mental stability frayed. It was hell when he would leave you, forcing you to face the cold basement alone again. You’d try to sleep through it, but sometimes your brain wouldn’t quiet and your emotions would explode to the point that you’d bawl your eyes out and sob until your nose was clogged and your head ached, your mind plagued with the overbearing thoughts of your long-gone friends and freedom. If they’d been looking, you were sure they would have found you by now. It should’ve been so obvious who’d taken you. Or maybe, everyone was too trusting of Eren to realize that deep down, he was an obsessive stalker, someone who kidnapped his best friend. 

Either way, your hope of being found had almost completely diminished. With no access to the outside world, you didn’t even know if a search was ongoing. You had no motivation anymore, even for escape—although it’s not like you could because Eren hadn’t let you go upstairs since your last attempt. He hadn’t touched you the same way he did that night either, occasionally letting his soft kisses grow more heated but never going as far as he did then. You almost missed it. The intimacy, that is. He’d been nothing but sweet to you most of the time, even when all you could do was cry into him.

You felt pathetic being in such a state, constantly switching between craving his presence and despising him for taking you away. You barely felt deserving of being rescued since you gave in to your captor so quickly. Would anyone even want to help you if they knew what you’d done with him? How close you’d remained even after his betrayal? It brought a sick feeling to your stomach whenever you thought about it. All of the lame excuses and blaming your actions on your once adolescent crush or your dwindling will to escape. You knew the truth, yet you still didn’t want to admit it.

It’d been four weeks since your failed escape, and just a little over a month of being stuck in the basement—not that you even knew the specifics of how long it’d been because of how your days began to blend. Since your attempt, Eren spent more time downstairs, sometimes taking his entire day off to stay with you, slowly making you more dependent on his presence because it was all you had. 

Akin to every other day, it started with his journey down, breakfast in hand and laptop under his arm, the device fully charged and ready for another day of playing offline games and watching videos or movies. But, also like every other day, his plans, per usual, were halted when he reached the bottom of the steps and saw you curled up on the bed, crying into your palms. 

His guilt overflowed whenever he saw you like that, but he pushed it away when he remembered all the things that could’ve happened if he hadn’t brought you here. All of the people that could have gotten to you, the things they could have done to you. It made him irrationally angry just thinking about it. In his house, you were safe, and he always knew where you were. To him, that was worth the pain it brought you.

Laying everything on the desk, he rushed to sit next to you, trapping you in his comforting arms and pulling you into his lap, “What’s wrong, baby?” 

He always asked that when you cried, always with the same pet names he’d use to try and ease your tears. You always replied that you didn’t want to discuss it, but he knew what the truth behind your sadness was. He knew it was because you missed everyone and you were terrified of telling him. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” You said, as usual, voice hoarse from tears that’d been pouring since you woke up. You put your head against him, soaking the white pajama t-shirt while he rubbed your back and cradled you like a child. His warmth and his pleasant autumn-like scent made it harder to focus on your problems, the comfort pulling you back to him in an instant. Sometimes it was like you were addicted, craving the constant reassurance of his presence and the distraction from your situation. 

This had become almost routine—he would come downstairs or wake up with you, find you crying, and drop everything to comfort you, just to continue whatever he had planned for the day after as if nothing happened. It was such an exhausting pattern for you, but he couldn't care less. All he cared for was being able to have you with him where you were safe. Being able to hold and touch you was just a bonus.

He held you as tight as he could, trying to make you feel secure while compressed in his arms. You could only snuggle into him, pushing your ear against his chest to listen to his racing heart. It was a calming and familiar white noise that helped distract you from the fact that you were probably never going to get out. It helped you feel sane and reminded you that Eren was another human too.

He sighed feeling you ease into him, finally safe enough to relax too. The room was quiet other than the gentle sounds of breathing and the mechanical ticking of the clock. It was almost peaceful like this, just the two of you cuddled up together. Listening to each other’s soft sounds and finding comfort in them.

“Can I have breakfast now?” You asked, your voice still crackling from your dry throat. You were sniffling and your face was still wet from past tears, but you were more hungry than upset now and didn’t want to wait for food anymore.

Eren smiled and slid you off his lap, making sure to plant a loving kiss on your forehead before he got up to grab the wooden breakfast tray from the desk. He walked back, setting it on your lap and revealing the stack of 4 heart-shaped pancakes to you that still radiated the warmth from being cooked. There was a tiny plate of butter and a cup of syrup sitting next to it, along with a ceramic mug of Eren’s favorite drink, his warm milk with honey and sugar mixed in. He always used to give it to you every time you came over, trying desperately to get you to favor it, and every time it always tasted bland. Not bad, but it didn’t fit your normal preference for drinks.

Recently though, whenever he’d give it to you with your breakfast, it was much sweeter than before. The milk and honey blended together with a pinch of dissolved sugar just tasted saccharine all of a sudden.

At first, you questioned if he spiked it, but when nothing happened after you drank it, you abandoned the idea. It felt so strange to suddenly enjoy something you’d been so indifferent about, but you didn’t want to overthink it. After all, you just wanted to enjoy the warmth from whatever he made you—to enjoy his warmth because it was all you had. 

“Well, are you going to eat?” Eren asked, questioning why you were staring at your food for so long.

Realizing that you’d spaced out while deep in thought, you muttered a quick “sorry” before grabbing the dull plastic knife on the tray to spread the butter over your pancakes.

While you were preparing your breakfast to your liking, Eren sat on the bed again, placing his arm behind you and sliding as close as he could without getting in your way, your thighs pressing together and his cheek almost touching your head.

He watched intensely as you cut into the syrup-soaked cake and stabbed into the small piece you separated, chomping down on it. As you chewed and swallowed it, he leaned his head on yours to get your attention, “Is it good? Did you like it?”

Nodding your head, you cut out another piece to shove into your mouth, “They’re really good! Did you make them from scratch?”

Eren smiled, feeling his heart melt when you gave him praise. He always ate up every little compliment you gave him, no matter how small it was. It was like a hit of dopamine every time you were even the tiniest bit nice—and he was addicted to it. Once he’d even kicked his legs and squealed into his pillow after you commented that he looked hot in a picture he posted, but that was a secret he would be taking to his grave.

“It’s my mom’s recipe… I just made them with a heart-shaped pan for the shape.” He replied, leaning into you and burying his face into the side of your neck while you continued to eat.

“I didn’t know you owned a heart-shaped pan,” You paused mid-bite, “When did that happen?”

“I got it when all of the Valentine's Day stuff was on clearance in stores… I just hid it in my room because I didn’t want anyone to see it while they were here.” He explained, his cheeks warming up at the thought of someone other than you seeing he owned such a bright pink and heart-shaped pan.

You giggled at his embarrassment and kept eating, enjoying the sweet syrup-soaked pancakes while you could. They were delicious, but especially warm compared to everything else, and you were so desperate to have that warmth that you were scarfing them down and barely savoring the taste. The sweet milk with honey came next, the most familiar part of the meal. You chugged it down so fast that you could feel its heat travel down to your stomach, officially ending your breakfast that morning.

It almost made you sad whenever you finished your food. You always felt extra cold after, especially without Eren there. It was never fun to experience.

“All done?” Eren asked, not allowing you a response before taking the tray from you. He placed it on the nightstand at the foot of the bed and went back to you, pushing you onto your back and crawling on top of you without warning. 

After taking a moment to maneuver himself around and get more comfortable, he placed his head on your shoulder and embraced you, the weight of his body crushing you into the mattress. It hurt a little and almost restricted your breathing, but having what was similar to a heated and weighted blanket on top of you was nice. 

He always did this when you finished your breakfast. It was one of his favorite things to do too. He loved being close to you, breathing in your scent and littering tiny kisses all over your neck and collarbone. It felt wonderful to claim you like that.

As you cocooned him with your limbs, he wriggled his way down until his head met your chest, putting his face between your breasts and squeezing you so they squished against his face. You let a gasp slip, face growing hot as a large smile formed on his lips. 

You tried to push against him to get him off, but you struggled immensely from his weight compared to your strength. It took almost all your energy to get him to budge, but he finally got the hint and sat up after minutes of your whining and squirming—only to grab your chest and squeeze as soon as his hands were free. 

You flinched and simultaneously gasped at the sudden grope, yelling at him with fake anger while batting his arms, “You’re such a fucking perv!” 

He chuckled and put his hand on the bed to lean down, his reddened cheeks so close to yours that you could feel his breath against your face, “Yeah, sure. But you love me, don’t you?”

You were silent while you considered what to say, afraid to lie to him but knowing that if you gave him any answer other than yes, he’d probably lose it on you. You did love him. You really did, but not in the way he wanted you to. You didn’t think you did, at least. He was just a safe space for you. A source of comfort while you were trapped. That didn’t mean you loved him, did it?

Growing insecure at your lack of response, Eren squeezed your arm just tight enough to regain your attention and asked you again, this time with more desperation lingering,  “Don’t you, angel?”

Without thinking it over more, you gave him an unconvincing answer, “Yes. I do.”

Satisfied with your response, he gave you a quick peck on the lips and got up to grab his laptop from the desk. You watched him carefully the whole time, sitting up and eyeing him as he picked up the small computer and carried it back to you. 

He placed carefully it in your lap, plopping down and leaning into you like he did during breakfast, his arm slung around your waist. You stared at the sticker-covered computer in your lap, your hands trembling while you considered asking him about going back upstairs again instead of spending another day in bed binging a random show you chose. 

You’d asked previously, even begged him to give you another chance, but his answer was always the same. He’d tell you that he isn’t ready for that, or that he doesn’t trust you yet. If you tried to ask repeatedly or beg for it, he would get angry with you and even lash out, leaving you alone for the entire day as a punishment, no matter how loud your cries got or how much it stung him to hear them. 

“Can I ask something before we start, Eren?” You managed to get out, your words shaking as you spoke.

You could feel him tense up next to you as you asked, his gaze now fixated on the laptop instead of you.

“What is it?” He asked, already knowing the answer. 

You opened your mouth to talk but stuttered so much trying to get the first word out that you had to pause again before talking.

“Can I go upstairs for the day?” You pleaded, quickly adding onto it so he couldn’t instantly deny you, “I’ll do anything you want! Please! I just… want to leave the basement for a while.”

Silence followed.

You were shaking, terrified of what he was thinking. He was staring at the floor, his brows furrowed as he ran through all of his options. He wasn’t angry, not yet at least. He only would be if you pushed for it too much, but he still hated having to answer that question. Why couldn’t you just be happy with what he gave you? He understood that you were bored and lonely, but it was still frustrating. It was so, so frustrating.

“I don’t know if I can trust you yet,” was all he could manage in response, because If he said any more or got too aggressive there would be tears. And he was so weak to your tears. It was the sole reason he always had to leave you when you cried to be let out. If he stayed, his already weak spirit might break, and then you could weave your way into having your way and escaping. He didn’t want to risk anything close to that.

Despite his effort to avoid it, tears began to prickle in the corner of your eyes, almost as if on command. You wanted to leave so badly that you were partially willing to give up your hope of escape if it meant you could at least have that. You would give all of it, just to have that ounce of freedom and self-autonomy back. 

“I don’t want to leave anymore, Eren! I promise! Chain my ankles or handcuff me to you, whatever!  Please, just let me go upstairs with you!” You begged. It was evident you were pushing his limit with the look that took over his face, but you didn’t know what else you could do to convince him.

Eren shut his eyes, the frown on his face deepening, “Baby, please. Don’t do this today.”

“Please, Eren. Please.” You begged again, the first fearful tear spilling over your cheek. The look you gave him was painful, his chest tightening the longer he stared at you. You’d done this almost every day for the last week and it was so aggravating. He hated being separated from you but you forced it on him by pleading so often.

He looked away from you and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands as he snapped at you, “Why? Why do you want to so badly?! Can’t you just be happy with what I give you?” 

He finished with a sigh and waited quietly for your response, but nothing came. You were silent. 

It took Eren several moments to realize that you weren’t going to talk back, so when he finally lifted his head and looked at you, the sight ripped his heart in two.

You had your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth covered as you sobbed into it, trying to hide the sounds so you wouldn’t irritate him more, but seeing you cry like that with such obvious fear diminished any anger he had. He hated being the cause of your tears. He hated it.

Pulling you into his arms again and pushing the laptop aside, he apologized profusely and held you tighter. You whimpered into him, gripping his shirt while he pushed your face against his chest. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I’m sorry for snapping, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He had his hand on your head, digging his fingers into your hair while he repeated his apology, “Please stop crying. Please, you know I hate hearing you cry.”

You hiccuped, holding your breath to choke down your tears. You held it in for a few more moments until you couldn’t anymore, taking an involuntary breath and sobbing into his shirt. In a poor attempt to silence it, you covered your mouth while you cried, quietly begging him not to leave you between sobs. It broke his heart. 

He tried to reassure you, hugging you tightly and petting your head while he cooed, “I won’t leave. I won’t leave this time.”

It took a while, but following a few violent hiccups, silenced sobs, and deep, difficult inhales, your tears were dissipating and you were calming down, clinging to Eren as if your life depended on it. 

He held you close, basking in your touch. He knew why you wanted to leave the basement. He was stupid to think that being trapped there would be enough for you, but after the last time he let you up, he was terrified that you’d try to leave again. If you ever did manage to get away from him, it would mean he’d lose everything, and he didn’t even want to think about that happening. 

You needed to stay with him, where you were safe. Where he could watch over you. But, it was clear you also needed at least a little freedom, otherwise, your mental state could deteriorate even more than it already had, and that would be just as bad as losing you through escape. He didn’t want to reduce you to a shell of your former self. He didn’t want to break you. He just wanted to keep you to himself.

Thinking it over some more while you were wiping your face on his shirt, Eren decided to go against his better judgment and give in to what you wanted, which was exactly what he had been trying to avoid. It was easier that way, considering you were both feeling awful about your situation.

“I’ll—I’ll take you upstairs. I’ll take you upstairs today.” He blurted out, sounding reluctant to say it out loud.

Your entire mood had changed from just that sentence, perking your head up so you could meet his eyes from where you sat on his lap. Eyes wide with excitement, they were lighting up more than they had in the month you’d been stuck there. It was nice for him to see. He’d missed that sparkle so much. 

“I’ll only let you come up if you follow my rules though, okay? If you break them I’m sending you back down and I won’t even think about letting you up for at least a year.” He aggressively added to his previous statement, wanting to be clear with what he expected of you so there wouldn’t be any complaints later.

You rapidly nodded your head, getting ready to agree to whatever he asked if it meant getting that slight sliver of freedom in the end. Lucky for you, he didn’t want to take advantage of your eagerness—not too much at least. He loved you too much to hurt you like that.

With a small sigh, Eren slid you off of his lap and took his laptop, holding out his hand for you after he got up. You took it with a large smile plastered on your face, pulling yourself onto your feet and practically skipping to the stairs because of how happy you were. He was slow to follow after you, not particularly joyful about letting you out of the safe haven he’d created for you, but still willing to if it meant he got to see your bright smile again.

Once he made it to the top, he was hesitant to unlock the door. He really didn’t want to let you out, but when he looked over and saw how excited you looked standing next to him, he couldn’t help but picture how upset you were just prior, and how quickly that changed when he said you could go upstairs. Keeping you locked up and to himself was already selfish enough, he didn’t want to keep suffering even more in a cold basement for his own benefit.

Before he went through the final step of opening the door, he grabbed your hand and squeezed it tight. He was trying to make sure you couldn’t just run off, but also trying to reassure himself that he was doing the right thing. With a final heavy sigh, he unlocked the door and turned the knob with his laptop under his arm, pushing it open and revealing the dim light of morning to you.

You tried to run, not with a hope to escape but more so out of excitement—but Eren was quick to pull you back to him and remind you of your place.

“Don’t forget what I told you.” He spoke sternly, the grip on your hand growing tighter to the point that it hurt. 

His rules—to behave. To do what he asked. From the first time he let you upstairs. The same rules that you broke the last time you were here, and not just because he was vague about what “behaving” meant. Of course, you couldn’t forget.

You sounded dejected as you looked at the creaky wooden floor, “I’m just… excited. Sorry.” 

Sighing, he sauntered forward while pushing you with him, taking the lead but ultimately doing what you wanted by going to the living room. 

Jiyuu got visibly excited when you walked into his view, his fluffy wings opening up slightly while he paced back and forth on the giant bird tree across the room, considering if it was worth it to fly over. 

Eren stopped in his tracks, a small smile brightening his face when he realized what the bird wanted. He always thought it was sweet that he liked you, despite parrots' common behavior of being possessive over their owner. It also made your integration into his home a lot easier, so he wouldn’t have to worry about the bird going after you whenever he was affectionate with you.

“Why don’t you go pick him up?” He asked, trying to push you forward, closer to Jiyuu. 

Excited to see the bird—a living creature other than Eren—but terrified of doing something wrong and being punished for it, you turned to look at him, asking for reassurance that this wasn’t a trap, “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure. I won’t be mad at you for walking away from me this time.” He assured you, the hand on your back pushing you even further, harsher this time to the point you almost stumbled.

You stepped forward with hesitance, slowly gaining confidence the closer you got to Jiyuu, your saving grace from complete isolation with Eren. Watching carefully, Eren stayed behind, his gaze burning holes into the back of your head. It made you so nervous, his eyes fixated on your every move. Being watched so closely was highly unpleasant and anxiety-inducing, and you could tell that Jiyuu didn’t like it either.

Climbing onto you when you held your arm out, Jiyuu was quick to run to your shoulder and puff his feathers up, squawking loudly at Eren. He’d never been especially protective of you, nor aggressive towards Eren, so this behavior was completely new—at least to you. It was especially shocking because of how loud he was able to scream, the sound triggering a constant ringing in your ears. 

“Eren? What’s wrong with him?” You panicked, turning to see what the bird was so upset about that he had to shriek, only to be face-to-face with Eren. His knees bent slightly so he met your height, startling you even more when you unexpectedly met his piercing green pupils.

His eyes were glued to the bird, his hand lifted in front of him so he would step up from your shoulder. To your surprise, the bird nipped at his hand and chewed on it, stepping on it when he was finished and acting like he hadn’t just screamed at him. “He’s just being moody. Don’t mind it too much, he just gets like this sometimes, ‘specially when I’m not in the best mood. He can tell.”

As he put Jiyuu back on the tree stand to chew on more of his toys, he walked closer and wrapped his arm around you, practically forcing you into his chest with his laptop pressed against your back. When his other hand was free from the bird’s talons, it joined his other to squeeze you tightly, keeping you close as he leaned over you, inhaling the comforting scent from your skin and hair.

You returned the hug, trying to distract yourself from the sinking feeling you had in your chest when he implied that he wasn’t in a good mood. It was obvious it was because of you—because you wanted to go upstairs. It made you feel so guilty, but also so afraid. He could be unpredictable when he was upset, which is probably why Jiyuu didn’t like it either.

“Why don’t we just watch some TV for now? Since he’s in such a bad mood and I still want to laze around…” He spoke up, backing away but leaving little space between you and him.

Without a thought, you nodded, ready to agree to almost anything as long as it would improve his mood and keep you out of your personal hell known as the basement. With your compliance, he was quick to drag you back onto the couch, setting the laptop down on the coffee table and pouncing, crushing you under his weight. Your whines went ignored by him in favor of grabbing the remote to activate the TV, bringing up the news before he swiftly changed it to an on-demand streaming service. He put on one of your favorite shows—one you’d already watched, probably dozens of times since you’d come here—and threw the controller

down, burying his face into your chest and engulfing you in his arms.

Resting your hands on his back when you finally processed everything he’d sped through in seconds, you focused more on him than the TV, although only able to see the top of his head and his messy bun. His face was buried between your boobs again, except this time, instead of smiling and teasing you about it, he shut his eyes and eased into you, feeling secure enough to relax with you trapped underneath him. The shift in mood was apparent, but all you could think to do was run your hands through his hair, hoping that would soothe him enough to think about letting you stay upstairs more often. 

It was silent after that, besides the background noise of the TV playing and Jiyuu preening his feathers and chewing wood. You were both clinging to each other, unmoving and resting. Eren was so warm, it almost made you tired—but you didn’t want to sleep. Not when you were finally experiencing what you’d wanted so badly for weeks. You longed to walk around and explore the house more, but he probably wouldn’t let you. It was frustrating.

“Eren?” You said, trying to get his attention on you instead of whatever he was thinking about in the silence.

He hummed in reply, not bothering to lift his head because he was too comfortable with his face against your chest. 

You twirled some of his loose hair between your fingers, silently trying to persuade him as you asked, “Can we go to your room? I want to see more than just your living room and kitchen.” 

Before you could continue with your long-winded speech trying to convince him to let you go to a different part of the house, he interrupted you with a finger over your lips, letting out a muffled “mm-mm” while he shook his head that was still against your chest. You frowned, moving his finger away from your mouth and continuing to push, “Why not?”

A scowl took over his face as he peered up at you, his chin stabbing into your sternum when he replied with aggressive venom in his tone, “Because I said no. Drop it.”

Once you nodded, a look of stinging fear glazing your eyes, his expression relaxed and he put his face back into your chest. Although your response calmed him, his answer did nothing to satiate your curiosity. You’d been in his room a few times prior to the kidnapping, so what was so different about now?

You let out a small sigh, continuing to run your hands through his hair but turning your attention towards the TV that still played your favorite show, although you’d begun to get rather tired of it after watching it over and over so much. Especially now, when watching different shows and dramas was all Eren had let you do aside from occasionally letting you play games on his laptop. As relaxing as the routine used to be, it was starting to grow excruciatingly dull. There were only so many days you could do nothing but laze around before you grew tired of it.

“Eren.” You began again, desperate for something to entertain you. You didn’t want to spend all your time out of the basement doing the same thing you did in it.

With a quiet groan, he lifted his head again and frowned, “What now?”

“I’m bored… I want to do something other than watch TV.”

Realizing that you weren’t trying to annoy him about getting into his room again, his eyes softened and he replied with a sweeter tone, “Like what?”

“I don’t know. You have games, don’t you?”

“In my room, yeah. But I don’t want you going in there right now and I’m not leaving you alone to grab anything.”

“Then what else can we do?”

When you asked, his brows scrunched together and he averted your gaze, deep in thought. You watched carefully, worried that he would become irate if you were too talkative while he was trying to relax. 

Slowly, his cheeks darkened as an idea popped into his head—one he’d usually tried to push away so that he wouldn’t risk making you feel uncomfortable with your already fragile emotional state, but right now? You seemed to be in a better mood, and much more content with doing just about anything to ease your boredom. There was nothing to stand in the way of his selfish desires.

Noticing the way his former annoyance bloomed into a red-faced fluster, you grew worried and tried to turn his head so he’d look at you, only for him to avoid meeting your eyes. His cheeks were burning hot to the touch and you could tell he had something on his mind.

“What’s wrong?” You tried to ask calmly despite the tremble in your voice, mentally preparing yourself for whatever emotion he might reply with.

A silent pause followed, and he barely managed to stutter it out, his hesitancy to explain his thoughts holding the words back, “I thought of something we could do if you are really that against just watching TV, but—but it’s kind of lewd. It’s—It’s really lewd actually.”

You could feel your cheeks grow warm at all the things that could mean, quietly urging him to continue out of curiosity about his desire, “Yes…? What is it?”

He was quiet again before he met your eyes, replying with a faltering voice full of anxiety, “I was thinking that maybe… we could take turns touching each other, and we could—I could learn more about your body… and we could make it into a game, I guess? If you really want to, the person who finds the most sensitive spots on the other person could win. That would make it more fun, right? Would something like that interest you more than TV?”

He stared at you with pleading puppy eyes while awaiting your response, his pupils swallowing his irises that practically glowed as they peered into your soul. 

Your entire face burned hot, now matching his. You were like shy kids confessing to each other, so tense and unnerved. 

Speaking with an unfamiliar kind of softness in his voice, he sounded like he would explode with embarrassment if you didn’t respond well, “We don’t have to, but I just—I just really want to touch you again. Even without the ‘game’ part. I’ve missed it. A lot.” 

He felt so perverted just saying it out loud.

His offer was tempting, but you didn’t know if you could trust it. Your judgment had felt so clouded recently and you’d been giving into him more under the guise of gaining enough freedom to escape, but how much would you need before you tried to leave again? The thought of escaping was crossing your mind less and less, and you were growing used to being with only Eren all the time, getting dangerously close to enjoying it. 

Part of you was terrified of ever leaving, terrified of how your friends would react when they found out what you’d already let him do to you, and terrified of leaving what you’d just started becoming accustomed to—but another part of you was terrified to stay. If you did, how far would things go? How deep of a hole would you dig for yourself before it was too late to get out?

“We don’t have to!” He repeated, pulling you out of your thoughts, “I could just find something else for us to do if you don’t want to,”

“It’s okay! It’s fine, it’s fine. We can do that.” You blurted out without processing what you were saying. The last thing you wanted was to upset him, so satisfying him was the only option even if it went against your better judgment. You could deal with the guilt later, but right now you had to focus on keeping his trust. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to give in and have a little fun with someone you’d trusted while you could, take advantage and get the experience you missed out on years before. You’d rather it be him than a stranger. That’s what you told yourself, at least.

“Really? Are you sure?” He asked again to reassure your consent while his lips shifted into a sly smile.

No. You weren’t. But you’d already made your bed, and you’d rather lie in it than rip off the sheets and start from the beginning, “Yeah. I am.”

There was a small moment of silence, the two of you staring at each other before he jumped off of the couch, swiftly making his way to the tree where Jiyuu was. He was quick to take his feathery friend to his cage, closing the door and covering it with the blanket he’d normally only use for him at night. Despite the bird's clear displeasure of being put to bed early, showcased through his sad-sounding caws as the cage was locked, he left the cover on and returned to you on the couch, towering over you with half-lidded eyes and a beet-red face.

“Uh, could you get on my lap when I sit down?” He asked timidly, placing a hand on your shoulder. 

You responded by nodding and sliding to the side, allowing him to sit while he dragged you onto his lap to straddle him.

Once again, it grew quiet. You were looking at anything but each other, the awkward tension making it difficult to keep eye contact. You were both used to intimate actions, but not intimate words, so anything you thought of saying fell short before it could leave your lips. 

It felt like you were fumbling teenagers again, lacking experience and not knowing where to begin—although Eren was the only one of you who had any to begin with. The most you had under your belt was some awkward and sloppy kissing between you and your short-term ex-boyfriends from high school, but he didn’t know that.

“Since this is a game… Do I get anything if I win?” You asked first, trying to break the ice and guarantee at least something good would come out of this.

You watched the cogs turn in Eren’s head for a moment before he responded, trying to figure out how to word it so that you didn’t request anything unreasonable after his answer, “I guess you can have something… Just tell me what, as long as it doesn’t have anything to do with leaving.”

It only took you a minute to decide what you wanted, the idea popping into your head rather quickly when you thought about what he would actually be willing to give, “Can I go in your room?”

He sighed hearing your response, a cross glare in his eyes while he reluctantly acceded, “Fine, but only if you A, win, and B, give me until tomorrow to clean it.”

The excitement you had grew rapidly, but just as it peaked, it dissipated when you remembered what you would have to do to get your reward, and the fact that it wasn’t guaranteed in the first place. The small smile that’d grown on your face faded once you realized it, and then the pressure ramped up once again.

“So…” He finally began, a short pause holding him while his eyes drifted down to your chest, his hands landing on your hips where he rubbed small circles into them with his thumbs, “Where should we start?”

You were both anxious, but he was the only one trying to hide it. His hands were shaking, but he tried to mask it with subtle movements down your plush thighs. He wanted to touch you. He wanted to feel all of you and run his hands over your entire body—but he wanted to make sure you wanted it too. He needed you to want it too.

“Wherever you want,” you replied, too nervous to say much else. His hands felt like fire against your cold skin, the feeling of them gliding over your body making your cheeks boil. 

His fingers grazed down to your knees and back up your body, stopping just below your chest to speak quietly, “I want to touch you everywhere though.” 

It was obvious what he wanted to do, but was too nervous to do it. His brows scrunched together while he stared at your chest, sunken in thought. The sight almost had you giggling from how silly he looked like that, so deeply focused on your breasts. To try and urge him forward and get past both of your anxieties, you slowly intertwined your fingers with his, leading his hands up to grope you.

His eyes flicked up to you as he made contact with your chest again, his gaze relaxing and eyes lighting up as they stared into yours. You looked so pretty in your current position, sitting on his lap with your cute thighs squished against him, your hands covering his, and your gorgeous eyes shying away from his stare. 

“Can I kiss you? Please?” He asked, leaning in so close that you could feel the heat radiating off of his crimson face while he squeezed you.

Letting out a small squeak from his grip, you decided to skip the verbal reply and gently pushed your lips against his, your noses bumping awkwardly because you were hesitant to do anything that could deepen the kiss further. Despite this, Eren missed the cue and tilted his head to the side, trying desperately to interlock your lips and part yours.

His groping grew rougher as he relaxed, fingers touching your nipples through the thin shirt you wore, the fabric barely shielding how hard they were growing. Your face was burning while he felt you up, sweat beading on your forehead when something stiff pressed against your crotch. 

It was so warm. Everything about him was warm. His body, his demeanor, even his smell. It was all so warm compared to the cold you always felt. Even before he took you away, it was always cold. But he was so warm.

“Eren…” you mumbled into his lips, your pulse rising and your arms falling over his shoulders.

He pulled away for a moment, face still inches away from yours, “What is it?”

“You’re warm.”

You could feel him chuckle as you said it, responding with “So are you.”

He kissed you again, this time carefully pushing his tongue between your lips in a way that was less than forceful and moving one of his hands to the back of your neck to hold you there. His touch sent tingles up your spine, your body melting into his hands. It was like your integrity burned away when he was close, and you couldn’t help but crave more.

Eren’s other palm slipped under your shirt, sliding up your stomach and squeezing your bare breast before lifting the fabric further. Your body tensed again, suddenly growing anxious at the thought of him seeing your chest nude. It’s not like he hadn’t before, but it was only now that it felt so nerve-wracking. You couldn’t pinpoint why, but now the thought made your heart race.

When he finally pulled his face away from yours, giving you time to breathe, it was only so he could pull your shirt over your head and throw it aside. Following that, his mouth was back on yours and he was reaching for your chest again—but this time, you stopped him. You took your arms off his neck to cover yourself, anxiety pulsing at the thought of him looking at you more. You didn’t feel this way the other times you’d been nude around him, so why were you so nervous now? Everything was burning all of a sudden, and it almost made you feel sick.

“Hey, is something wrong?” Eren questioned in his sweetest voice, attempting to quell your sudden fear by backing off to cup your cheek, his other hand resting on your thigh. You tried to look him in the eyes, but your stomach sank when you met them. His irises were the brightest, most intimidating green that made your heart ache, you couldn’t stand to stare. 

“I’m—I’m kind of scared.” You stammered, staring down at his hand while his thumb rubbed small circles into your skin.

His brows furrowed as he overthought what you said, “Just… all of a sudden? It wasn’t like this before, why now?” 

He didn’t mean to seem angry, but his expression showed the opposite. So, feeling pressured with a slight tinge of fear in your eyes, you quietly apologized and began to uncover yourself, afraid of upsetting him and causing any harm that might get you sent back downstairs. He stopped you immediately, grabbing your wrists and holding them so your arms still covered you. 

“Don’t apologize… It’s fine if you don’t want to.” He reassured, reaching to grab your shirt beside him on the couch, “I don’t want to do anything if you don’t want to.”

Sadness laced his tone, his expression matching it as he pulled the garment over your head. It wasn’t because you were hesitant to go further with him, you knew that, but your heart hurt to see him making such a face. So sad, even with the tiny smile on his lips that was meant to reassure you. It was more than just wanting to stay upstairs. You wanted to make him feel happy. Even if you felt guilty about how you would do it.

“No, no, Eren…” You stopped him from pulling the shirt down, pushing it back over your chest while you wiped your watering eyes with your other arm. “It’s—It’s not that. I'm just—I’m—So nervous.” 

“What are you nervous about?” He asked, trying to avoid the temptation of looking at your now bare torso while he addressed the issue at hand. 

“I don’t know,” you started, mentally going through the list of things that were making you anxious to find something to say other than the truth about the shame you felt, “This is just… a lot different than the last few times you’ve seen me naked. You’re so close so you’re going to see… everything.”

“I don’t care what they look like. The only thing I care about is that it’s you.” He grabbed your hands and squeezed them, cheeks blazing red as he leaned close to you to confess, “You’re perfect to me. So perfect.”

Your heart began to swell again, this time for a different reason. 

He always made you feel so wanted, even before he took you away, his words like a warm blanket around your needy heart. It almost had you crawling into his hold, with no intention of ever leaving. No one ever praised you like he did, so maybe that’s why it had such a large effect on you. You were so susceptible to it that it was dangerous to your escape, constantly tiptoeing the line between enjoying the praise and falling face-first into Stockholm syndrome. It was a dangerous game you were playing, and without even realizing, you were losing. 

“Can… you touch me again?” You asked quietly after letting his praise marinate in your head for a minute, prying your hands out of his to pull your shirt over your breasts again. 

Shocked by your sudden switch-up, his eyes widened for a moment before he awkwardly nodded while placing his hands on your waist, finally letting his eyes trail down to your breasts.

Seeing them so close sent blood rushing not only to his face, but also down under, his already semi-hard on pushing uncomfortably against his pants. He wanted to brand them with his bites and kisses, cover them in his spit, and bruise them with hickeys to claim them as his. He was opposed to rushing you though, so all he could do was drag his hands up your torso until they finally cupped around your soft flesh, squeezing lightly just to confirm that he was really touching you and that it wasn’t just another wet dream.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to repeat his reassurances in your head while he fondled you. His normally cold hands were warm against your skin, squishing and playing with your chest and making your already hot body feel like it was burning. 

He was pushing them together, bouncing them, and holding them in his palms. It was so embarrassing, but you were trying desperately to keep it together. When you finally brewed up enough confidence to pry your eyes open, you saw how happy he looked, as silly as it was, and it took everything inside of you not to let out a giggle that could’ve embarrassed him. You wanted him to keep enjoying himself, even if your face burned from the awkwardness of it.

But just as you were growing used his hands on you, he threw a question at you that hit like a brick to the face, draining every ounce of courage out of you in a split second, “Can I… suck on them?”

He was leaning towards your chest as he spoke, looking up at you with anticipating eyes that made another wave of intense heat flare through your face. You were barely getting used to his fondling, but to suck on them? You might faint. With no experience except your own fingers and numerous toys, you didn’t even know how sensitive your nipples could be. The thought of squirming around in his lap while he lapped so leisurely on your tits made you shiver. But at the same time, it also piqued your curiosity and made the warmth between your thighs grow. You couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like.

“Yeah. Sure. That’s—That’s fine. Just—be gentle, ok? No one’s ever done that to me before…” You replied with a shaking voice, brows pushed together with worry while you avoided eye contact.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He asked rhetorically, hungry eyes still gazing up at you as he leaned towards your chest. He broke his stare to pull your shirt up and off again, cupping your breasts and latching onto one of your nipples like it was all he was born to do. 

You winced in response, anxious to experience the feeling for the first time. Just having your sensitive bud in his mouth felt so different, so warm and wet—so when he took a long, slow lick, you couldn’t stop the whimper that left your throat. 

He almost lost his composure right then when he heard that noise. It was amazing, like a slice of a heavenly melody he wanted to keep locked in his brain forever. He wanted more of those sounds. He needed more of them.

With your other breast cupped in his palm, he started to pinch and nudge the bud while he sucked softly on the one in his mouth. You were already letting out more quiet whines, holding the back of his head while your fingers tangled in his hair. You couldn’t even begin to explain the burning pleasure that rippled from your chest to your core or the throbbing ache that proliferated between your thighs. It felt so much better than you imagined, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, Eren being the one to do it made your heart race. 

Desperate to pry more sounds from you, his intensity rose by the minute, lips tugging on your nipple and fingers pinching the other. As more soft whines and moans spilled from your mouth, your spine arching to push your chest further into his face, he could feel the stiffness in his pants painfully begging to be freed. You sounded beautiful, he just wanted to throw you onto the couch and fuck you senseless while you cried out. Holding back from that was so hard, especially with all the cute noises you were making. He wanted to take you right here, but he knew he’d have to be patient if he didn’t want you to feel rushed or forced. He needed to be like a wolf stalking its deer. Slow, calculated, determined.

Pulling away from your mound, he looked at your swollen, spit-covered bud, smiling to himself with newfound confidence while moving to your other one. His possessive feelings were growing with each mark he left on you, every new blemish claiming another piece of your body for himself. Once he had all of you, god knows how he’d act.

He had one arm around you, pushing you closer to him to make it easier for him to swallow your chest while his hands groped your ass and felt up the wet spot between your legs, just barely tugging at the hem of your shorts when the opportunity arose. He was sucking hard, running his tongue diligently over the nipple and flicking it repeatedly to steal more moans from you. Every noise, every whimper, and every whine was just more motivation to him, fueling his excitement to keep touching you and eventually have you touch him. He almost couldn’t take it anymore, the bulge in his pants becoming increasingly painful the longer this went on.

It seemed he finally snapped after a few more minutes of vigorous sucking and quiet whimpers, grabbing your arms and forcing his face away from your chest after he heard you whisper out his name. As much as he wanted to continue the petting, he needed to have you now or he might just burst. 

“Fuck whatever stupid idea I had for a game, I need you to touch me. I need you to touch me now, please.” Eren begged, sounding more desperate than you’d ever heard him before, almost growing teary-eyed at how pent-up he was becoming. His hips were roughly grinding into yours, praying for anything to rub against or release his tension. He was so frantic that you thought he might get on his knees and beg if you said no.

If you were being honest with yourself, you were curious. You wanted to know what he felt like and how he would react. You wanted to revel in the feeling of being desired so badly.

“You want me to touch you… that bad?” You asked, your voice quivering from the intense feeling rumbling through your body that you could only describe as heavy. Without Eren’s support, you would probably collapse into a hot mess on the couch.

Eren’s eyes grew wide as if you were spouting nonsense in a language he didn’t understand, “Of course I do! Why the hell do you think we’re here in the first place? I’ve never wanted anything so badly!”

His hands were shaking out of frustration, his grip strong enough to leave marks. Though, when the fear gleamed in your eyes and your muscles tensed up, he was quick to calm, loosening his hold and sliding his hands down to hold yours instead.

“I’m… I’m sorry, I’m just… so, so desperate. I want you so badly,” He apologized, looking down to avoid shameful eye contact with you, “I need you. Badly.”

You stared at him quietly for a moment, playing around with the ideas in your head before deciding through your lust-clouded judgment that you wanted him too. In the moment, you didn’t care if you would regret it later. You just wanted to touch him. You wanted to have control over him, if only for a little while.

For once, you were the one to make the first move, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on his forehead while you reached your hand to his groin. His entire body stiffened as you put your hand on the tent in his pants, his cheeks flushing when he peeked up at you with that desperate look in his eyes.

“Please—Please be gentle. Don’t squeeze it too much, I don’t—know how much I can take…” He stuttered out as if the fabric holding his cock back hurt any less than you squeezing him too tightly would.

Nodding, you caressed him again, watching carefully as his eyes squeezed shut and he leaned back, uttering a soft moan from your hand on the underside of his cock. He was still tense, but you could see that he was enjoying your touch, so you carried on. Beginning gently, you cupped him through the thin fabric of his pajama pants and massaged your hand up and down his pulsing shaft, eventually moving to tug at the band around his waist to silently ask permission to free him from his confines. 

Although you wanted to take it slow, you were also desperate to see and touch him without the barrier separating you; and it seemed like he was too. That much was evident when he didn’t bother to let you pull his pants or boxers down, ripping them off himself and leading your hand back to his freed shaft by your wrist.

Catching on quickly, you tightened your hand around him and eyed up his length, examining it while he went back to gasping at every little movement you made. He was a lot bigger than you expected him to be up close, not to mention how heavy he felt in your palm. Seeing all of the little things you hadn’t noticed previously, it looked so different too. 

Veins crawled up from the bottom of his girth, stopping a few inches before reaching his head, and he was swollen and red at the tip, already leaking precum. His bush was well-trimmed, a tiny freckle at the base of it, and it curved upwards while it twitched in your hand. You never thought you’d see a dick that looked so… perfect. Just holding his weight in your hands had you clenching around nothing, the thought of it filling you up passing through your mind more than once.

You slowly moved your hand up, stopping with your thumb on the underside of where his head and shaft met. You’d read online about men being sensitive in that spot, and it appeared to be true by the way his breath hitched when you ghosted your digit over it. Curious, you pressed lightly and caressed the spot up and down, causing his hips to jolt unexpectedly while a louder gasp left his throat. 

“Ohh my god. Oh my god.” He breathed out, pushing his elbows into the cushions behind him to grip the couch beneath his thighs more efficiently. He’d never felt this good, even with his other, more experienced flings in the past. Even with less skill and precision, you were just so much better.

You were you. His dream. Everything he’d ever wanted in life. That’s what you were. His most prized possession, his most important person. That alone made everything feel superior. Because it was you doing it.

Enjoying the erotic look on his face, you kept up your motions and continued to stroke the spot below his head, sending him into a frenzy of squirms and whimpers as he grew overstimulated just by the pad of your thumb. His hips bucked up, desperate to get more friction to tip him over the edge of his already approaching orgasm.

“Fuck—Fuck, you have no idea how good this feels.” He uttered under his breath, voice shaking as you rubbed even faster. His whimpers were high-pitched, turning into something more akin to whines as he neared the end; but just as he was reaching the hilt of his pleasure, you pulled your hand away, leaving him to cry and plead for your touch again. 

Seeing him so desperate for it was such a change from his usual self. It was like the roles swapped, and now you were the one that had him wrapped around your finger. You never wanted it to end. You longed to keep what little control over him you had for as long as you could. Plus, he looked cute when he was the one tomato-faced and begging.

Leaning close, you kissed his jaw while he audibly sniffled, reaching up to put your hand behind his head and push it forward to kiss his forming tears away. He whimpered again, one hand clawing the couch while the other flew to your hip. You pecked his face, slowly trailing to his lips so you could kiss, fully entrapping him in the scheme forming in your head. 

Your fingers wrapped around his shaft for a second time, shocking him into pulling away before you pushed your lips against his again, assertive about keeping his mouth against yours. He was already moaning into you, grip growing tight as you began moving your hand up and down his length.

He was practically melting underneath you, arms trembling as your hand worked his hardness, pumping it rapidly. His cries for you were only growing louder, turning into muffled chants about how close he was to finishing. You loved to hear it, but you knew you didn’t want it to end so soon.

Once again, you let go of him, moving off of his lap and taking a seat next to him on your knees while he whined about your second absence. However, his complaints ceased when he realized what you were doing, your head already moving closer to his length and your hand taking its place at the base of it. 

“Wait, wait,” He panicked, trying to stop you, reaching forward to grab some of your hair and pull your head away, “Are—Are you sure you want to do that? It doesn’t taste as good as you might think.”

Your mouth changed from its open “O” into a pout, a frown taking over your features as he stopped you from finishing him off, “I know what I want, Eren. Please let me.”

With your familiar longing gaze piercing his, he was quick to give in and remove his hand from your head, thanking the lord that he held the motivation to wash himself regularly and make sure he was clean every time he interacted with you. Right now you wanted him almost as much as he wanted you, and if you were so certain about it then he wasn’t about to stop that. He needed to take his chance to savor it because god knows how long he’d wanted this and when he'd get another chance. You finally wanted him too, so it would be foolish to stop now.

“Just… don’t push yourself.” He muttered, running his hand down your back while you resumed what you were doing before.

You nodded with a quiet hum, placing a gentle kiss on the head and taking an experimental lick just below. Tracing the pad of your finger up and down his veins, you took in all of the little shudders you managed to coax out of him and began a trail of kisses down the underside of his length. The way he was almost pouting with embarrassment while his cheeks were such a deep shade of red was adorable, it just made you want more. You wondered if this was how he felt about you most of the time, so enamored that he couldn't think about anything other than your face.

Reaching the base with your pecks, his cock twitching every time you made contact, you stuck out your tongue and pressed it against him. Slowly and tediously, you dragged it back up to the top, leaving a trail of saliva in your wake while Eren bit back a whine. A few more frivolous kisses to the tip and you finally took him into your mouth, pushing your tongue against him while you lowered your head as much as you could without gagging.

Lifting your head, you peered up at him, studying his face while you tried to force more into your mouth, unable to fit more than a few inches before tears emerged in the corners of your eyes. He was so big, you could barely get anything in, but that didn’t seem to affect the amount of pleasure it gave him when you finally began bobbing your head. Eren was already turning into a mess again, but the second you started moving the hand on his shaft in rhythm with your mouth, he nearly broke down crying from the feeling. 

Tracing shaky hearts on your back, he stared down at you, trying to burn the image he saw into his memory and lock it away for safekeeping. It was exhilarating to see you like this, so much so that he had to cover his mouth to prevent the moans that slipped out from growing too loud. He couldn’t handle it, especially after being edged twice, he was going to go crazy if you didn’t let him finish this time. 

Holding himself still was the most difficult thing, especially when all he wanted to do was hammer into your throat like there was no tomorrow—but he didn’t want to make you choke on him. Not yet, at least. It felt too early to be that rough with you. 

Being built up and denied satisfaction the last two times meant it wasn't long before the band was stretched again, dangerously close to breaking. The way your tongue pressed against the sensitive spot below his head, the way your fingers curled around him and stroked everything that didn’t fit in your mouth had him gasping for air. It was driving him up the wall, pushing him so close that he could feel himself at the very edge, nearly tumbling over it even if you weren’t the best at what you were doing. 

When your eyes flicked up to meet his, watching his ruby-red and sweat-slicked face twisted with pleasure, he finally snapped. You watched his eyes squeeze shut as he threw his head back, crying out in whimpers as he lost control of his hips through his orgasm, repeatedly chanting “I love you” between swears.

You couldn’t help but gag as more than you could handle was shoved down your throat, eyes going wide as your mouth was coated with a bitter taste that made you wince. You had to pull away while he was still coming, coughing and gagging more at the feeling of his release in your throat while the rest spilled over your hand.

Eren was apologizing under his breath, still struggling through the pleasure of his climax—but you decided to push him the slightest bit further as revenge for making you choke, massaging your finger over the same spot you had earlier and sending a shock through his entire body again. You continued to touch him as you sat up, leaning into him with your head on his shoulder so you could feel the way he shook from the overstimulation. 

“Please—Please, oh my god I can’t take it.” He cried, tears bordering his eyes as you teased him. Seeing that you didn’t want to go too overboard, you decided to give him mercy and let go, watching him go limp as his body finally relaxed. He was panting, covered in sweat like he’d just finished one of the intense basketball scrimmages you used to watch him do, even though he’d only gotten sucked off and pleasured. It was almost cute to you, mostly because it made it much more obvious how much of a hold you had on him, and you enjoyed it. You enjoyed being desired.

  Following a few minutes of quiet, filled only with sounds of his panting and shuffling of you snuggling against his arm, he spoke up again through pants, slowly coming back into his normal headspace that was dedicated to caring for you, “Was… Was that okay? Are you doing okay?”

Your eyes half-lidded while you stared at him from his shoulder, you nodded with a smile spreading across your lips. The bliss of everything was still holding onto you, the giddy feeling that bubbled in your chest stemming from the moments prior. You just wanted to stay like this, cuddled up against him while you relaxed together in sweet silence, only broken occasionally by your back-and-forth comments about aftercare and gentle kisses to his collarbone.

When Eren finally decided to get up, still so delirious from the pleasure that he hadn’t even thought about how you were out of sight, it was only to grab a rag and some water from the kitchen. Then was back on the couch as quickly as he’d left, tidying you up and pulling you into his lap to cradle you. While you clung to him, burying your face into his neck, he leaned forward to grab your shirt from the floor, quickly pulling it over your head so you could get back to cuddling. 

You were feeling oddly clingy, more so than before. You just wanted to stay in his arms, snuggled up to his warm body. It was the most at peace you’d felt since you’d been taken. It felt nice. 

Suddenly pulling you out from your comfort, Eren pushed your face away from his neck, eliciting a whine from you as he grabbed the glass of ice water and brought it up to your lips, “Come on, you should drink. I know that I probably didn’t taste very good…”

Pouty about being pulled away, you snapped back playfully with a raised brow while pushing the glass away, “How would you know what you taste like?” 

His face twisted in embarrassment, his brows furrowing as he stammered trying to explain himself, “Well, I don’t, but I’ve just—I’ve been told it doesn’t taste very good.”

You giggled at his response, “That doesn’t mean you don’t taste good to me,” even though it was true that he tasted rather foul.

Slightly flustered, Eren quickly tried to regain control of the conversation, feigning confidence while placing his hand on your nape to push your face close to his, “Well why don’t you let me have a taste for myself so I can see?”

“Mm, how am I supposed to do that?” You asked.

“Like this.” He replied, pushing his lips against yours and dipping his tongue into your mouth before pulling away just as quickly, leaving you stunned at his sudden shamelessness.  

While you were still staring at him with your mouth slightly agape, he pushed the glass cup into your hands, forcing you to hold it as he guided it up to your mouth. Finally pulled out of your trance, you let out a small sigh and took a sip, the cool water finally washing away the bitter taste his release had left in your mouth. 

“I guess I don’t taste that bad,” He started, which on its own almost caused you to spit out the water, only to be shocked again when he continued the statement, “Or maybe I was just tasting you.”

You nearly choked while trying to swallow, yelling out afterward and slapping his shoulder, “Eren!”

“Shh, shh, just come here so I can hold you again.” He cooed, taking the glass from you and pulling you against him, “My angel.”

Pressing kisses to your head, he smiled as you snuggled into him, nuzzling your nose into the crook of his neck while he pet your hair. With both of you relaxed, it was quiet once more, the two of you cuddled into each other as the silence surrounded you, leaving you both to your thoughts.

Eren was thinking about what you’d said, about what you wanted if you won his “game.” Even if you didn’t remember it in the moment, he would feel bad if he didn’t give it to you eventually. Not to mention, you were smart. You’d end up asking about it again at some point. He knew you would, and the thought of it made him anxious.

It’s not that he didn’t want you to go into his room, it was just that the things he had out would be deathly embarrassing for you to see. Once he got the chance to clean everything up, it would be fine for you to come in. If anything, he wanted you to stay in his room. He wanted to be able to trust you enough to sleep in his bed with him, to experience that kind of deep intimacy with you; but with everything you’d done recently, he still wasn’t sure about it. However, he did have a somewhat peculiar idea about what you could do to gain his trust—one that would get the authorities off of his back too if he played the cards right. Your reaction to the idea would tell him all he needed to know about how much he could trust you too. It was brilliant—at least to him, it was.

As if your minds were parallel to one another, you decided to speak up and ask about what’d been promised to you, “Hey… am I still gonna get my reward since I technically won that game you mentioned?” 

“Funny you say that actually, I was just thinking about it,” he began his reply, tightening his arms around you so that you would be as flush against him, no space separating you, “And I thought about something else we could do that you might like a little more.”

Jumping to the conclusion that he was trying to back out of his past agreement, a frown formed on your face and you opened your mouth to scold him, only to be stopped with a finger pushed to your lips followed by his loud shushing.

“Shh! Just let me finish before you chew me out!” He hushed you, pressing kisses between your wrinkled brows until they relaxed, then continuing, “My idea wasn’t that different from yours. It’s pretty much the same. I’ll let you come into my room tomorrow, except I’ll also let you stay the night with me there.”

Again not allowing him to finish, you interrupted excitedly with a smile already taking over your face, “Really? In your bed? With you?”

Eren already spent many of his nights downstairs with you, but that wasn’t the same as sleeping with him in his bed. Sleeping in his room not only meant you were free from the unfriendly aura of the basement, but that you would have light when you woke up. You could wake up to the warm morning sun for the first time in a month. You’d missed it so much.

“Yes. With me.” He began again, clearing his throat and frowning at your repetitive habit of interrupting him, “But only under one condition.” 

Taking note of his annoyance, you stayed quiet this time, eyeing him as a way of silently asking him to continue.

“You need to call the police department tomorrow morning and tell them you don't want to go home.”

taglist; @kpostedsum @missyasma @localdepressedvampire @chateks @erenyeagerdrip00 @beclover @tiffanyy-21 @momoewn @alienvarmint @berriesandcrem @erenjagerwifee @Sashaisahoeee @jkeluv @bobateasilverpearl (ask to join, and since it's been a while let me know if you changed your username and want to be back on the taglist or leave it! <;3)

[dontyouworrydaddy]

hi!! i stumbled across ur blog and i loved ur writing so i thought i’d drop a request ^_^

so…. 141 x famous! reader

like…. HEHHEHE

like im talking realllyyy famous

celebrity type

ESPECIALLY WITH SOMEONE LIKE SIMON… POLAR OPPOSITES

ofc there would be some problems but whenever they get on leave reader just immediately frees up her schedule for the time he’ll be back !!

concert? sorry…..

touring? oops…

YK? HEHEH :3

𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫

Task Force 141 x gn! reader

YOU ARE A GENIUSSSSS!!!! OH MY GODDD I absolutely love this idea and I‘m soooo excited to write about it.

Thank you so much! I hope you love this one💘

♛ ♕ ♚ ♔ ♜ ♖ ♝ ♗ ♞ ♘ ♟ ♙

Simon Riley

Simon had always been the quiet and private person. Just a simple guy in the army who has a high position.

You, known simply as "Little Star" for the world, which you got the name from Simon, are a phenomenal actor and song writer, making millions out of acting in songs you produce.

It was a love that had surprised everyone, including themselves. Polar opposites in every sense, but they say opposites attract, and in your case, it couldn't be truer.

"Hey my little star." Simon murmured as he walked through the door of your shared apartment. He had just returned from a long, grueling mission.

You looked up from the colorful bouquet you were arranging, your face lighting up as you rushed into his arms. "Simon! You're back! I've been counting the minutes."

Simon's usually stern expression softened as he held you close. "I missed you too," he admitted quietly.

Months passed the last time you saw him and it wasn't always easy, of course. Simon's work often kept him away for long stretches, and the secrecy surrounding it meant that there were many moments he couldn't share with you. But whenever he had leave, you had a knack for freeing up your schedule, as if nothing else in the world was as important as those moments with him.

"Hey, y/n.." Simon would say, his voice filled with a mix of gratitude and love. "I can't believe you're here with me."

You'd smile and reply, "Of course, Simon. You're my priority when you're home."

It wasn't always smooth sailing. You were the extrovert, and Simon was the introvert. He preferred quiet nights in, while you loved going out with friends. But you learned to compromise, to find joy in the little things.

One evening, you sat on the couch with a pile of board games in front of you. "Come on, Ghosty, let's have some fun tonight."

Simon raised an eyebrow but couldn't resist your infectious enthusiasm. "Alright, little star. You're on."

The game night ended up being filled with laughter, playful arguments, and a hot make out sessions. But amidst the chaos, there was a connection that ran deeper than any mission or song/show.

Ad you both lie on the bed, out of breath, you notice Simon looking… distracted by something. "What's on your mind, Simon?"

He sighed, looking at you. "Sometimes, I wonder if I'm cut out for this. The darkness, the secrecy... it's a lonely path."

You sat down beside him and took his hand. "Simon, you're more than your job and past. You're a person with a heart, with emotions, and you have me. I'll be your light in the darkness."

Tears welled up in Simon's eyes, and he pulled you close. "I don't know what I'd do without you, You."

Love was the force that held you two together. It was in the simple moments like cooking dinner together, sharing stories about your day, and in the way Simon's eyes lit up when he saw you waiting for him.

Simon looked at you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. "You mean everything to me," he said. "I don't say it enough, but I love you more than words can express."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you replied, "I love you too, Simon, more than anything in this world."

John MacTavish

The first time you met, it was in a bar on the outskirts of a small town. John had just returned from a covert mission, weary and battle-scarred. You were seated at the corner of the bar, reading a book and sipping a glass of wine. John couldn't help but be drawn to you, the serenity in your eyes a stark contrast to the chaos he had witnessed.

"Can I join you?" he asked, his voice gruff from days in the field.

You looked up from your book and gave him a soft smile. "Of course, you can. You seem like you could use some company."

That night marked the beginning of a connection that would change both your lives. You and John spent hours talking, discovering that you had little in common on the surface, but something profound connected you deep within. He regaled you with stories of his missions, and you listened with unwavering attention. You spoke of your passions and dreams, and he hung onto every word.

Despite the challenges of John's career, you made it work. Your relationship was a blend of late-night phone calls, handwritten letters, and stolen moments whenever he was on leave… and some moments with you and him in his car, somewhere quiet. There were also times when it seemed impossible, the worlds you inhabited so far apart, but every time he was home, you dropped everything just to be with him.

One evening, as the two of you sat on a quiet beach, watching the sun dip below the horizon, John took your hand in his and said, "I can't believe you make time for me every single time I come home. It means the world to me."

You smiled, leaning your head on his shoulder. "You're worth it, John. You make my life feel complete, even in the midst of chaos.. where I‘m stressed with my open life."

Your relationship was a rollercoaster of emotions. There were nights of tears and longing, but there were also days of pure happiness. When John was deployed, your world revolved around waiting for his safe return and it was also the time you weren’t really home because of you tourings. And when he was back, you created moments that felt like a lifetime's worth of love in every stolen kiss and embrace.

One night you whispered to your boyfriend, "John, I never thought I'd find someone who understands me so completely. This is why my upcoming Album is about you."

John held you close, his voice full of love, "You, my love. I can't imagine facing the world without you by my side. I‘ll make sure to listen to it even if I‘m in the middle of a battlefield "

You both laughed as you laid in each other's arms, you both found love and solace amidst the chaos of your worlds.

John Price

In a chaotic city of England, you and John Price were a match that shouldn't have worked, yet somehow, you complemented each other perfectly. Your life, filled with the fame and glamour of the city, was a whirlwind of events and you touring through the UK.

Despite your wildly different lives, your love was undeniable. John would often tease you, saying, "I still can't believe you make time for a rough old captain like me." And every time, you'd respond with a smile, "You're worth every second, John."

In the evening, you stood on the balcony of your penthouse apartment, gazing at the city lights. John wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing a tender kiss to your neck. "I can't believe you've cleared your schedule for my leave again."

You turned to face him, placing your hands on his chest. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be, babe."

He smiled, his blue eyes filled with warmth. "You know, I never thought I'd find someone like you."

"You're my everything, John," you confessed, your fingers tracing his stubbled jaw. "I love you."

His lips met yours in a passionate kiss, and for a moment, the world around you disappeared. In the midst of this whirlwind romance, love was the constant that held you both together.

Over the years, you faced your fair share of challenges. John's demanding career and your busy social life often pulled you in different directions, but whenever he was on leave, your schedules aligned.

As you cuddled on the couch, John traced a finger along your cheek. "You're everything I've ever wanted," he said, his voice filled with emotion.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you replied, "And you're my rock, John."

Kyle Garrick

It was one of those rare moments when you both had some time off. Kyle, exhausted from his rigorous military duties, looked forward to spending his leave with you. You, on the other hand, were in the middle of an art project, but you knew just how much he needed this break. So, you cleared your schedule with a quick text that read, "I'm all yours when you're back, love."

As you waited for him, your mind wandered back to the first time you met. It had been at an art gallery where your work was being showcased. Kyle had stood there, captivated by the vibrant colors and abstract forms on the canvases. He approached you, and your worlds collided in a beautiful mess of colors and light. You'd never met anyone like him, and he'd never met anyone quite like you.

Now, as you prepared for his return, you couldn't help but smile at the memories that flooded your mind. The first time he'd attempted to sing with you, ending up with cringing as he heard himself singing over your instrumentals and how you'd laughed until your sides ached. He, in turn, had shown you the discipline and honor that came with his job, and you admired him for it.

Finally, the day came when Kyle returned home. The excitement in your heart was palpable as you rushed to the airport to greet him. When you saw him walking towards you in his uniform, it was like something out of a movie. You rushed into his arms, your emotions bubbling over.

"I missed you," you whispered, your voice filled with love.

Kyle held you close, his strong arms wrapping around you. "I missed you more, you have no idea."

The drive back home was filled with laughter and stories of what you both had been up to. Kyle had a knack for making even the most mundane military anecdotes sound fascinating. You, in turn, shared the progress on your latest album, and he glanced at your creativity.

Once you were home, you cooked his favorite meal, and you both sat down to eat. As you sipped wine and shared stories, the hours slipped away. The love and connection you both felt were undeniable.

Later, you found yourselves snuggled on the couch, watching a movie. Kyle's fingers traced lazy circles on your hand as he said, "I can't believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. You make everything look so normal, even in the midst of chaos."

You smiled and nestled closer, your head resting on his shoulder. "And you bring a sense of order and purpose into my world. Together, we make the perfect blend of chaos and discipline."

As the night wore on, you realized that this was where you both belonged – in each other's arms.

[candyskiez]

3, 4, 5, and 13 for the toh ask game!

3: Oh this is HARD. I'm currently beginning a rewatch so this might change? Y'know y'know. But I think it's Eclipse Lake. It's just so....man. The nuance. The depth. Genuinely such an accurate portrayal of abuse. I've said it before but just. It's so realistic. I like that they don't make Hunter a perfect victim. He's rude, he's bratty, he's manipulative as FUCK in this episode. We see how he got so far as the Golden Guard. He's cunning. He's smart. He's just also insanely reckless with his life because he was taught it's irrelevant. He uses the same tactics on Amity that Belos used on Lilith. It's also a very raw depiction of an abused teenager that just. Doesn't pull any punches. I love that Amitys trauma doesn't go away and that it shows that trauma influences all kinds of relationships you find yourself in. I don't know what I can say about it that I haven't already said. It's just. An excellent episode about abuse that handles the subject matter properly. It's just fucking GOOD man

4. Hmmm. That's a good question. Honestly? Aladarius. They're interesting! I know it's. Nonsensical given we know scraps. But. Listen. Listen. They're FUN. They have it all. Weird sexual tension filled angsty rivalry, childhood best friends turnt awkward tension, comedic gold, divorced energy, absolutely loving and tender after canon, what more can I ask for? I just ..I love thinking about them. I love thinking about the possibility of what their dynamic with Odalia was like when the three of them were best friends. I like thinking about them both having so many regrets with how their relationship ended, but they can't say it. They can't get it out. Darius can't risk ever being hurt like that again, the idea of getting his heart broken again is too much, and the idea of having to be NEAR Odalia or having to think about the thousands of hurts near that is enough to make him sick, and hes trying to tell himself hes over it. Alador is just...resigned. He can't fix it. He feels like he can't. They both fucked up so bad and were...not very good people at some point but try SO hard to be better and they make me so emotional. God. With that being said they do not touch dating until their kids are grown up. Ty and gn. Also I love thinking about them having a conversation about Odalia and going "What happened to the friend we knew? Did she ever exist?" "I don't know." "...Would that be worse?" "I don't know." And. Eats a leg.

5. Oh man this is a HARD one. There's so many good ones! Genuinely just ...so many. So fucking many. One that has absolutely no canon backing in any way whatsoever is Darius and His mentor but. That probably doesn't count for many obvious reasons. So I'll take actual canon. Eda and Luz. I fucking love them. They love each other SO MUCH. Eda calling Luz her kid makes me want to scream and just. God. They're what the other needed. Eda needed someone who gave her a reason to get up and keep going. Someone to make her see the outside world. If King and Luz hadn't shown up, she would've rotted away in that tower forever. She needed a purpose, needed someone who made her stop and see that there were some people worth protecting. Luz made Eda see the outside world and. God. Goddd. And Eda being the accepting mentor she needed, offering her companionship when she needed it the most. Scared and sad and lonely, she needed someone to tell her nothing was wrong with her. She needed someone who could help her figure her weirdness out in a safe environment. And Eda was that. Eda helped her so much. And the owl family gets separated over an dover and over again and then Luz breaks that cylce of pain by COMING BACK and going, no, you know what? This doesn't get to end in tragedy. I love Eda. I love King. I love Hooty and Lilith and Camilia ad Hunter and Willow and Gus and Amity. You don't get to take this from me. I'm going to live on the isles and be happy. I'm going to live. I love my family. And just. Man. Man. Considering Eda and Luz both go through depressive periods in the show it's so. Man. MAN.

13. Season two! Simply because it has the most amount of favorite episodes. It's just a really good season man idk what to tell you.

It's. Late at night for me so sorry for incoherency wah

[the-nysh]

nysh is a fan of trigun?? 👀👀 ohoho i knew you've got excellent taste~ who are your favorite characters and arcs? :D personally, i'm a big fan of millie for being an incredibly rare type of anime woman!

*me in the middle of a 200k fic* oh wai-OOOH omg, ahaha you saw that! Geezus, it's been like 20 years - truthfully I saw a new fanart reblogged by someone and I was like '...huh, this feels like it might reawaken something, lemme go revisit something to check...[several days of binge watching + reading later] oh good goddd my tween self was RIGHT; I REMEMBER now!'

Ahaha oh man, anyway re-looking at it with older eyes, yeah there were some outdated 90s filler gags that prob wouldn't fly now, that I'm glad the actual manga (barring the pilot ch) and new anime don't have those, as they didn't serve any purpose for the mc, who's practically an undying saint walking that lone, suffering road of redemption under the biggest stepford smile of pain & loss I've seen. I was also pleased the manga went pretty hard (seinen levels) expanding and committing to things that the old anime just didn't have enough info to do (both character + deep lore wise, esp for Wolfwood and the villain Knives, which the old anime kinda shafted), so I enjoyed that a lot - I was INVESTED to learn about all those traumatic scars and lost history! (Which imo surprisingly felt more like Xenogears/saga with the crash-landing mysterious 'alien' origins, psychotic evil twin, religious imagery, and deep space/sci-fi tone, rather than as a gunslinging spaghetti western.) Also noteworthy how each iteration of the story is completely doing its own separate thing now (the arcs and progression's all different, so beyond the lost July city and Fifth Moon incidents releasing his planet buster against his will, it's hard to choose a 'fav arc')...so yay 3 cakes!

I'd say that whenever shit got real though, the moment my mind started to wonder like '...wait, where are the girls? are they okay, what happ-' BOOM, they'd bust out saving the day or turning the tide in the most awesome way, full rejoicing and *whew* relief on my part!! (Ex, a fav manga moment: [spoiler] when Meryl burst out of his biblically accurate angel wings, understandably scared but with guns blazing, breaking the villains' locked stalemate, that was soooo fucking cool. ;o;) So yes, that was a lot of fun - and oh yes Milly!! She's like...if a classic himbo were female: large, sweet and strong and dopey, but also sharp, dependable, competent and so wholesome. :'3 Extremely good vibes to have her around~ (That I guess, the current speculation's how the anime's new guy might get fridged for Meryl's development, to take up his guns and meet her partner Milly later...but we'll see!) Other than that, I'm interested to see where the new anime takes things, as I can already recognize they're spinning in manga elements that were only introduced Very Late in the game - flipping the order around for what purpose, unknown yet, so hopefully they get enough real estate to properly cook things!

[musette22]

Okay clearly I like to torture myself but I watched that clip of Chris saying what he’d want to do if he had his anonymity a couple of times and goddd it made me cry 🥺 but then I made it even worse thinking about that Seb quote anon shared and the fic I wrote this weekend…

I just can see them finally getting together & getting everything they want. Chris wants that feeling of living in a big city and be surrounded by people, just immerse himself? Well they spend some of their time in New York, and even if they don’t get the anonymity Chris thought he wanted, it doesn’t matter if they’re recognized sometimes, because they’re together and just live in their own little world, in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the city, when it’s just the two of them nothing else matters. And Sebastian finds them spots to hang out where they can people watch & just walk down the street without worrying too much about being spotted, cafes and restaurants that are little holes in the walls, where they’re mostly left alone.

And Seb gets that feeling of home, doesn’t feel lonely as often anymore, because they adjust their filming schedules and the projects they pick to maximize time together, and if he’s with Chris (and Dodger), he feels like he’s home whether it’s his in New York or LA or Massachusetts. And if he is filming away from them, he doesn’t feel that lonely because he always knows what(who) he’s going back to and it doesn’t take him as long to settle back in, because there’s something more than just 4 walls and an empty space to return to, and if he does feel lonely, Chris stays up with him on the phone until late at night until he feels a little more settled.

Just ugh they’re so perfect for each other? Yeah I’m making myself cry some more so thought I’d share so you can cry with me 😭😭💛💛

Maya, when I say this ask RUINED me, I mean it R-U-I-N-E-D me. In the best way though, don't worry 😭😭

God, the idea that they both feel lonely and isolated and restless sometimes because of fame and everything that comes with it... it's heartbreaking and not something to trivialize and romanticize, I know that and you know that, but… Because I just want the best for them and I want them to be as happy as they possibly can be, I can’t help but always think ‘But what if you were together and you could share those burdens and you wouldn’t be so lonely and unmoored anymore’ and that’s exactly what you described here in absolutely heartwarming detail, oh my god 😫💘

In my humble (and totally inconsequential to their actual lives) opinion, these two are as perfect for each other as any two humans will ever be, ok? They have SO much in common, both good and bad, and then they also are different in just the right ways meaning they’re ultra-compatible and they’re clearly crazy about each other so!!!!! If they aren’t together they definitely should be. They can have those things they both dream of: a partner to share their lives and burdens with, someone who understands because they’re in the same line of work, a home away from home and a solid basis, unconditional love and support and the kind of deep connection and intimacy and understanding they both crave (because they're both incurable romantics) but with a healthy dose of independence too, because they necessarily will spend quite a bit of time apart, doing their own things... I don’t know, I just really truly think they work together SO well, and this is basically why I’ll keep willing them together in my mind for ever and ever, and I’m so glad I’m not the only one 😭💗

Thank you for this, Maya. I am completely emotional and unhinged about them once again because of this ask, but that’s how it should be 🥺💕

[nubs-mbee]

Goddd, I was just thinking about how a selkie au could work with the Lonely, and like. Martin’s shivering and cold from the moment they escape and without even thinking Jon goes “oh, here” and drapes his coat over him, and it takes them both a VERY long time to realise. Like, Basira meets with them to give them info/safehouse key and her face is just 🤨 and Jon hasn’t got a CLUE. Okay, rant over. Hope you’re doing well!

(I’ve been meaning to answer this ask but the last few days were a bit busy, sorry!) hey I LOVE THIS. it’s so CUTE!!!! Ahhh god I don’t want to fully include the fears into my selkie au cause I want them all to live you know? But man if the fears WERE there, this is definitely how it’d happen :,) it’s just so narratively beautiful :,,)

[rainingspellforlove]

falling again.

Tell me once again, tell me you love me like, you did that day.

 I couldn't believe it, everything about you was like looking in the mirror, we were so much alike. 

 But your lips that had spoken of love, don't say a word like they're locked shut, I can't understand with my heart, why you said you loved me. 

 But now you're trying to run away 

                                                                              Baekhyun - Love Again

The continuation of shouldnt have. 

It's been three months since then. Hyukjae been living well in Tokyo. He did his best to overcome his broken state. He did many things there and it really helped him a lot. He did yoga class, worked out his body, studied new languanges, even composing some new songs. for these three months, he already recovered well and he can back to his normal bubbly self again.

Hyukjae decides to come back to korea after feeling well. In a sunny sunday morning, hyukjae finnaly arrived at south korea. He walked alone with lot of luggagges with his mask on. Then he saw one familiar face to pick him up,

"Lee hyukjaeee"

"Hyunggggg"

Leeteuk comes to pick him up because he promises to grab a meal together later in a seafood restaurant..

"How are you hyukjae? Feeling better?"

"Eung of coursee hyung. I cant wait for our comeback finally"

"Of course we will have best of the best for this comeback. Lets work hard okay"

"Sure"

Then they enjoy talking to each other about how hyukjae's life in tokyo and how about the members doing while he was gone. They were doing pretty well with their individual schedule as well.

"Uhm so how was him? Is he doing pretty good these days?"

"You dont contact him at all?"

"Nope hahahaha"

"You really want to get rid of him huh?"

"Not to that extend lol he did messaged me sometimes, for the first week i went to japan, he texted me a lot like "what should i do" "im sorry" "i'll do everything for you to forgive me" "please" he did it so many times until 5 days maybe? Then i replied at the 6th day , i said "im okay. Youre not at fault. Just live your life as usual okay? Im fine here dont worry. " 

"I thought you blocked him lol"

"No way i cant block him we're still gonna work together right"

"Wah our pro-idol lee hyukjae. Amazing im proud of you. "

"Nothing's to be proud of. So how's he been?"

"Nothing special because we didnt meet him often bcs of our individual schedule"

"Oh then?"

"But i already met him few times actually asking him for a meal together, he wasnt like himself either i think. His soul is like leaving his body lol"

" He's not that lonely right if i left him like that? He already had a lover anyway"

"I dont know either. maybe you both need to talk it out, dont you feel it to try to talk to him?"

"Yeah ive been thinking about this too hyung. Maybe i will talk it out with him later"

"Good then"

After getting a meal with leeteuk, hyukjae comes back to the dorm with the help of leeteuk to bring his lugagges. And when he opened the door,

"Suprisseeee welcome back uri myeolchii"

Turned out the members already prepared the welcome back surprises with many foods and confettis.

"Oh my goddd guyss hahahahhaa"

"Welcome back uri hyukjaee, lets eat together!!!" Shindong said

"Yesss lets celebrate!" leeteuk finally said

Then they eat happily and tell so many funny stories like they always did.

"How is it at tokyo?" kyuhyun asked

"It's fun of course i did many stuffs there to clear my mind"

"Im glad you're feeling well right now.. we're so worried about you really. You should think less and dont overthink too much okay? You have us to lean on man!" yesung said

"yeah, we can help you anytime bro just tell us about anything" ryeowook said

"Of course i will haha im totally fine right now really!!"

Actually there's donghae too there who's been just smiled blandly at the situation. Fortunately bcs of this crowded condition, no one realized that donghae havent talked a single word to hyukjae yet. Then some times after they had fun and ate well, the members starts to go home one by one. There's leeteuk and donghae left , ofcourse with kyuhyun and hyukjae too.

so hyukjae  cleaned the dishes first and the rest of them cleaned the main room. When hyukjae washes the dishes, donghae actually comes to him and helps him cleaning the dishes

There's like silent in them for like few seconds.

"So, how have you been?" Hyukjae starts off the convo

"Nothing much it's just the same. You?"

"Yeah i did many stuffs there"

"Oh... im glad then"

Then silence again..

"Uhm, i- apologize for-"

"Nah it's not a thing for you to apologize anyway. Im totally fine"

"but im not..."

Silence again....

"Why? It's not that youre lonely without me right?" Hyukjae jokes

"hm maybe?" They laugh softly

Then hyukjae tried to ask something.

"How's thing with her?"

Donghae feels a bit flustered..

"yeah we're fine" said donghae plainly

"Good then"  hyukjae smiled

"I miss you" finally donghae said it

"I miss you too.. lets work hard more for our comeback soon. Lets just get back like we used to be okay?" but hyukjae not acting like he’s flustered. he acts cool

"Uhm sure.. "

Then hyukjae was about to go to the main room then donghae said

"im sorry.. lemme just say.. ehm- dont cry again hyukjae."

"sure i wont" hyukjae left and smiled after that..

flashback

The day after hyukjae went to japan, donghae was like a soulless man. He ignored all of the calls and messages in his phone. He just wants to talk to hyukjae. He wants to meet him rightaway but he cant. He cant disobey leeteuk because he always obedient to all leeteuk's words. He resisted himself and stayed at his house for almost a week. He ignored all of the messages and phone calls. He just wanted to see hyukjae's reply. But he didnt reply at all. He didnt answer his calls either.. donghae was really like a zombie.. then hyukjae suddenly replied to his messages in the 6th day. Donghae was startled like hell. Then he replied.

"it hurts to see you cry dont cry again.... im so sorry. I dont know what should i do... dont hate me...please.... im so sorry"

But then of course hyukjae didnt reply him again.

Actually donghae became so confused after hyukjae left. He thinks about him a lot. He thinks how hyukjae acts around him this whole time. He just realized this whole time, hyukjae must be suffered to hide this feeling alone. When he's the one being so touchy and stuffs....

He didnt know either why he feels so hurting while he's the one who hurts his friend. He hates being left especially when his important person who did it to him. He feels so confused after hyukjae left. He didnt know what happened to his mind recently. He cant think of anything. His mind was full of hyukjae. especially the kiss he gave that night. 

It feels like he poured all of his feelings to it.. but it was the most heartbreaking kiss that he ever felt. the tears that fallen in his cheeks. and his warm lips that melts into his. 

he hates to acknowledge this but he wants to feel it again... but not after feeling like this.   he missed hyukjae so much... it feels so wrong but he missed him so much......

but life must go on,  donghae tried to forget this confusing feelings and try to meet his girlfriend.

He actually met her few times. But donghae always didnt look fine at all. He always been on his mind and cant focus on her at all. And it's always been like this..

Donghae didnt seem to reply at her mesaages as often as before. And he rarely pick up her calls. Donghae was like a whole different person.. sometimes he would be ignorant or careless... even he was not actually like this.. 

he had a fight with his girlfriend recently.. because donghae keeps losing his focus when they met. And he keeps ignoring her messages and calls. He said that he was busy with works and stuffs. Still his girlfriend had it enough and asked him for break up. Donghae asked her not to end it so quickly. he said they can figure it out together. But his girlfriend insisted that they must break up. She was so tired of him. So they break up in their 5 months.. 

Donghae was shattered... he was miserable..

 he thought "maybe life was fair enough"

end of flashback

Donghae intentionally didnt tell hyukjae that he's already breaking up with his girlfriend. He thinks maybe it's for the best to stay like that. It's already been 1 month since he had broken up. And it's the time for hyukjae to come home to korea too. Actually donghae already recovers from his broken state too after 1 month. But now he saw hyukjae is a whole different. He's like happier, shining, and lovelier. It's like he's really getting himself better. He's getting way cuter... donghae seems a lil bit flustered to see hyukjae arrived... he was stunned for a lil bit. 

“is it just me or he gets cuter after coming back......” he thoughts.

Fortunately after their little talks, they can be like they used to be again.. 

The comeback is near.. so they keep practicing and practicing. They have been busy all the time after hyukjae arrived. They have been busy with many things to prepare the comeback.

Hyukjae is working hard too. He's even more refreshed for now. Donghae and hyukjae come back as they are used to be. Playful to each other. They are just being professional to not mix their private life and works. So they act like the things that happened 3 months ago are also dissapearead.. they just act like nothing happened.

They finally released their comeback songs successfully. It was a hit and success. They did many shows, interviews, and some variety shows to promote their comeback. They are so busy because of these schedules. But they are happy because finally they did a comeback again after a long time.

So after the day they brought a first win from mcountdown, they celebrate it in a restaurant and have a big feast there. Then they had drunk too after having those meals. It’s time for going home and there were no schedule tomorrow so leeteuk said just rest well for tomorrow. The members are going home one by one.

"Hyung, tomorrow i will have schedule for new journey to the west, so i cant come home with you. Is it okay for you to come home alone?"

"Nah it's okay. Bye bye kyuhyuna"

But actually hyukjae is in drunk state so he will go with his manager to come home.

then donghae comes

"I can take him home, i bring a car here so you dont need to worry managernim"

"Oh? You bring a car? Okay then i'll just come with you." 

Then hyukjae and donghae go home together with donghae's car. It's the first time for them having a drive like this for just both of them. 

"Hyukjae-ya, are you sober enough?"

"Hmmm 60% sober i tthink why?"

"Actually i want to tell you something"

"What is it?"

"I... i broke up with her"

"Her? Your lover? Why?" suddnely he’s 90% sober up

"Some things happened and we fights then she asked for breaking up. uhm yea thats it"

"Oh.. since when?"

"It's been like almost 2 months before our comeback"

"Ah... so you already broke up that time i ask you?"

"Hm yes.... sorry for not telling you the truth, im just scared that it will make you uncomfortable yknow"

"It's okay i understand... uhm.... so, you okay?"

"Yeah i had been not okay that time but right now i feel better a lot"

"Good for you then, hope you can find another person who's better for you then. life must go on right" 

Then silence... donghae doesnt give him any replies. 

They stopped at the red lights apparently..

"Do you already have a person you like this moment?" Suddenly donghae asked

"no there isnt. I didnt think of it at all because we've been so busy"

"Youre right"

Then the green light appears..

Donghae drives again... 15 minutes in silence and finally arriving at hyukjae's dorm..

"Okay.. would you want me to take you to your room or-?"

It turned out hyukjae already sleeps. He didnt dare to wake him so he puts hyukjae in his back and piggy backs him to his room.... and he still sleeps soundly at donghae’s back.. 

Donghae puts hyukjae to his bed and tucks him in the bed softly.. then unconsciously, donghae leans in to hyukjae's face..

Donghae pressed a soft kiss to his forehead...

"What if you're the better person for me hyukjae? What you’re gonna do if i fall for you?" He said while carressing his hair softly.. 

After that, donghae turned off the lamp and went home rightaway....

actually hyukjae didnt fall a sleep at all... 

he listened to all of them.

"The hell is that just happened...... oh my freaking God what the hell just happened....." he wakes up rightaway.

Hyukjae still can feel donghae's kiss in his face. he cant sleep at all that day. Even after hyukjae's arrival, they had been in a good terms. It is like nothing happened back then. They acted like they used to. Everything seems so natural. There were no feelings for each other.. hyukjae completely erased his feelings for donghae but why did he act like that last night....

"God he's confusing me again.... "

After that confusing situation for hyukjae, he will never know that was the start of all donghae's affections to him.

 and it's likely more affectionate than he ever imagined.

They did many shows and got many interviews. In those shows, donghae always finds chance to get close to hyukjae even doing some skinships to him. But it's like he did it unconciously and natural. It's like the usual donghae but it's more clingy than usual.

He's always backhugging him when they played something, or when in a music show ending, and many more. But hyukjae just lets him bcs he didnt want to be so obvious of avoiding donghae in the tv or shows.

Hyukjae hates to admit this but he liked it. It's like he misses these moments so much but in fact he's already moving on.... or...... are those feelings coming back again...

His warm and soft touches against his body are endearing. He just loves those affections. He missed how to be loved by someone...

But he didnt want to admit it.... never. it’s too contradictive. his mind says he’s already moved on but his heart told him otherwise. 

He still cant get over what donghae said few days ago....

Day by day passed by, and the promotions are coming to an end...  they did their last music shows on inkigayo. hyukjae went to the rooftop to rest for a lil bit because the members are just too noisy right now.. he didnt feel like to talk too much today. 

"what are you doing here alone hyukjae-ya?" 

"Oh donghae, uhm nothing just sight seeing" he’s startled by his voice

Donghae comes to hyukjae

"Do you have something burdening you?

"No actually i just feel grateful finally we can success this comeback.."

"im proud too for myself and the members too. we’re doing great"

“right” 

they smiled together and felt the wind that breezed for them. and hyukjae got some dust into his eyes

"Aaah my eyes" he tried to rub his eyes but donghae held his hands

"Hyukjae-ya are you okay? Which eyes?"

"Leftt aaaah its stuck"

“dont rub it, i’ll blow it for you”  

Then donghae just blows a little to hyukjae's left eyes while cupping hyukjae's cheek.  hyukjae’s heart is pounding like crazy while he did that

"I-Is it gone?"

"Maybe.." hyukjae tried to open his eyes and he's surprised, donghae was just 5 cm in front of him

Then donghae looks into hyukjae's eyes  and carresses his cheeks softly... hyukjae cant back off and staring into donghae’s eyes also

"I think you're more beautiful in this comeback" while holding his cheek.

"How so? I just feel so usual"

"It's your eyes. Your eye make up is stunning"

"U-uhm thanks"

“this comeback fits you so well”

They still stood like that for a while until donghae leaned in to hyukjae.. and hyukjae automatically closes his eyes... donghae just pressed a soft kiss into hyukjae's left eye...

Then he pulls out and smiles..

"You must be tired today. Lets just go home.." donghae said and grabbed hyukjae's hand to enter the building...

Hyukjae is dazed and cant say a single word... he just follows him to the building in silence... 

One day hyukjae drinks alone again in the usual bar. He just wants to drink because he wont have no schedule tomorrow.. and he talks alone in the bar.

"Im getting confused again. Why did he do that then?"

"If im just a rebound of his broken heart, i swear i would kill him rightaway.. gosh but he's already broken up from long time ago... eish but i doubt he likes me though he's fucking straight"

"he's weird. Or am i? Huh idk"

Hyukjae been blabbering for himself there for a few minutes..

Then such a coincidence happened, there just came donghae and jinu who were hanging out with the others because it's their friends who own this bar.. and donghae just watched hyukjae drunk alone and ran to him quickly. his face shows he’s worried as hell. 

"lee hyukjae.. hey what are you doing here? I thought you slept because you didnt reply me at all. you cant come drinking alone like this. you know you cant support youself enough while drunk. why are you like this?"

"Oh hey cheonsanim is it my death yet? Why there's cheonsa here.. thats so weird" he blabbers and doesnt listen to donghae’s nagging at all

"Hey get yourself together hyukjae-ya" 

"Oh im totally fine! what time is it? I should go practicing. let me go. comeon lets practice!!!"

"There's no practicing schedule for today and it’s almost midnight... lets just go to your dorm"

"No but cheonsanim, there's still liquor left i must finish-"

"Shut up and just lets go home. understand?" donghae’s face becomes all serious suddenly. and hyukjae shuts his mouth and let donghae do what he wants. he’s kinda scared too actually even he’s drunk. 

Donghae just pulled hyukjae from the seat and put his arms into his shoulder and starts walking to the car.. donghae brings him home again... like that day

after the silence for a while, donghae finally softened and his serious face gone

"This reminds me of how you were so drunk back then and you keep sobbing because of me.."

"Back then i really didnt know. Yes im a fool didnt realize your feeling and im a fool too bcs i fell in love too easily with some women. Maybe im just too lonely. But i realized that i actually not lonely this whole time. I have you. Thats a shame of me who didnt realize it. Im just so sorry.."

He said while holding hyukjae's hand. Meanwhile hyukjae is sleeping since donghae starts driving.. he’s always like that after being drunk. he sleeps rightaway. 

"You're becoming more refreshed and stunning. Im so flustered to see you like “ah it turned out im really friend with this beautiful human?" Thats exactly my thoughts for you when u came back"

"then i doubt it myself why would i have that kind of thoughts. I feel like i wanna have you for myself. Your cute face, funny jokes, and even your weird actions. It's like i wanna keep it all for myself. I even got jealous when you acted cute in front of the fans lmao i shouldnt do that but idk myself is just being weird."

"i love those smiles of yours. Your gummy smile. Thats just so pretty. It warms me up. I even think why didnt i realize i live with the prettiest angel for this 20 years." 

donghae still driving while looking at the road.. and he keeps pouring his words...

"Youre really my important person hyukjae. I wont ever erase you from my list. Youre my person... your presence to me is a healing and strength. Without you im nothing. You complete me. You're really my everything. Please just erase those bad memories of us. Just let me fill it again with good memories of us... let me try again.. im hoping i can be your source of sunshine too.. like you give me those warmest smiles every time we met... thats the most amazing feeling ever..."

Then silence...

"I knew you're not sleeping right... im not asking you for anything but i just wanna tell you that... and we're almost arrived"

Hyukjae cant hide again from his so called sleeping,, then he’s awkwardly wakes up and straighten his back... 

"uhm.. uhmm..  thats quiet long speech of yours.... uhmm okay..."

Honestly hyukjae is speechless as hell, he never knew donghae will talk it out and he's basically confessing??? But thats so ambiguous...

"Can i hug you?" Donghae asked before hyukjae opened the car's door

"uhm s-sure"

Then donghae hugs him... donghae's hugs always feels so warm... his big body is covering hyukjae's small body... it’s always been these hugs that he loved the most.

donghae who circling his arm into hyukjae’s neck and hyukjae who hugs donghae’s waist tightly.. its always been like this. their typical hugs from time to time. 

"dont go out alone to drink.. bring me,   so i will take you home"

hyukjae just nods in  his warm embrace.. 

Donghae takes off his arms from hyukjae and presses a soft kiss to hyukjae's forehead...

"Good night.. rest well for today"

 hyukjae is gotta explode. 

He's confused too and doesnt know what to do either. But his mind is a total mess right now so he acts like he's totally not in his right mind too.

his act and his mind are always fighting. it’s not completely going in a one way. it’s totally contradictive!!

hyukjae in his not right mind suddenly leaned in and kissed donghae's cheek quickly. 

He's so red and dying inside, then he just

"g-g-good night too bye bye" he's so flustered and running quick to his room

Donghae who feels hundred times flustered than hyukjae, cant even move a flinch after hyukjae's cute lil kiss. He's smiling like an idiot and messed up his hair. 

"im really going crazy" 

Meanwhile in the other side, hyukjae runs to his room and throws himself to his bed and screams.

"arghhhhhh why did i do that you fool lee hyukjae you fooool"

One day after that lil kiss event, donghae asked hyukjae (as if nothing happened) to a drive. he’s that amazing to act like nothing happened between them. 

"hyukjae, are you free this sunday?"

"Uhm maybe, why?" hyukjae pretends nothing happened too. BUT he’s just pretending. so he just replied casually

"i want to have a drive, wanna come? its no fun if i drive alone"

"u-uhm sure. But where to?"

"Hmmm it's up to you"

"Me ? Ah no, it's you who should decide donghae-ya"

"Finee, then beach? Lets watch sunset. How?"

"Call! Good idea!"

"Okay see you on sunday i'll pick you up"

"Of course"

Hyukjae didnt know why he agreed to his plans lmao he’s too excited to watch sunset. 

"eish what should i do.. that god damn smile wtf i cant even ignore him"

"Nah its okay we're usually like this. Its a usual thing for us to have a drive tgt. We even watch sunrise together every year.. it shouldnt be a bad thing right........ right..... but for now i should try calming my heart more" he’s trying to convince his heart more 

Sunday comes and they really go to the beach....

They have so much fun in the car, they sing and laugh happily in the car.. hyukjae who jokes a lot while donghae who gives his best reactions to it. It's just their  another ordinary days.. but its been so long so they're beyond excited for themselves.

It's winter and they wear warm clothes right now.

"Hyukjae, dont you feel cold of just wearing that coat?"

"Ah this. Hmm maybe i can bare it haha"

"You can wear my padding, i'll wear yours"

"Eish no need. Im fine really"

"Uhm okay then"

They have arrived at the beach and they go to the side of the beach while playing with the water. They had so much fun playing and running for each other.. they're just like kindergartens..

"It's unbelievably cold goshhh maybe you’re true though,  my small body cant bare it haha" hyukjae been shivering for a while and he almost stutters because of the cold wind.

"I told you so.." then donghae stands behind hyukjae and opens his padding to back hug the shivering kid. his padding completely covered him and hyukjae together. Hyukjae is small human being so it fits for them together.

"Ya- what are you doing let me go" hyukjae tried to let go but of course he’s lost. 

"Its cold its better like this right" he tightens his hugs more. 

Hyukjae cant say a single word he's just dazed while feeling the cold air from the sea.

They stayed like that for a while until sunset..

"Beautiful..." finally hyukjae mouthed a word

"Uhm.." donghae hugs him tighter from the back

"We're almost the same height but why i feel you're so tiny" donghae said

"im 3 cm taller you know!! but i admits im a real myeolchi because im not that workout holic like you. and im not the type who builds my body like you. the bulkier type. nah i didnt like it"

"Alright alright  i agree for that"

they enjoy this so much. and maybe hyukjae loves it too much. it feels like the cold air is completely gone because of donghae’s back hugs. it warms him up...

after some moments of the sweet warm sunset, they think of going back. they can freeze if they stay too long. 

"Should we go back?"

"Okay..."

Its time for going back and its time for donghae to let go of his hug.... why hyukjae feels dissappointed all of sudden...

Donghae lets go of the hugs and he pulls hyukjae to face him...

"Hyukjae"

"O-oh why?"

Donghae takes out his hands and carress it softly... then brings it into his lips... donghae just kissed every hyukjae's knuckles one by one..

Donghae turned to face hyukjae and leans in slowly..

Hyukjae stops him by pointing his forehead..

"can i-?”

 he didnt finished his words but suddenly hyukjae said

"kiss me"

Donghae got startled but he smiled softly and leaned in to kiss hyukjae

Donghae moves his hands to cupped hyukjae's cheeks while hyukjae's hands slowly circling donghae's neck.. they kissed slowly and softly.. donghae takes a lead and hyukjae tightens his hands... they never expect this day would come.. they pulled out for few seconds, then hyukjae cant get enough and kiss him again.. they kissed so long but slowly...

then they got losing a breath and plus they cant bare the cold air then hyukjae pulled himself from donghae... his ear got so red and he cant even say a word.

"i-its cold lets go home." hyukjae said and ran  leaving donghae who smiled softly..

They go home with hyukjae who covered himself with his scarf.

Donghae who laughs softly said

"Hey dont cover yourself like that, i cant see your face" he teased

"I dont want to see your face idiot"

Donghae chuckles and takes hyukjae's hand... he pressed a soft kiss to his hand...

"stopppp argghh focus on driving bastard" he pulls out his hand quick

Donghae drives home with a widest smile ever

Arriving at hyukjae's dorm, he packs his things and ready to get out but..

While on the way driving here, the snow falls so hard even donghae drives his car slowly to go here..

"You know, the s-snow is falling so h-hard right"

Then donghae turned his head to hyukjae waiting him to say something

"So...” hyukjae hesitates..

"Eh hem so?" Donghae waits while smiling to him

"Eish stop smiling like a weirdo you bastard"

"Hmmmm So?" donghae teased 

"Y-you can come to dorm until tomorrow morning i-if you want-"

"Of course i will. Lets go" donghae quickly answers and goes inside

Donghae has expected this , no way he would let his best friend fighting the snow falls for himself.

They enter the dorm together.. and it's already almost midnight..

"Kyuhyun is home already maybe he's already sleeping... you can sleep on the sofa or other rooms here okay bye im going to bed" hyukjae was about to go to his room but donghae stops him

"What now?"

Then he gestured his head in hyukjae's room (it's like “i wanna sleep with you” gesture)

"N-no way!"

"Aaah we used to sleep together why cant we"

"Its different! We're grown ups right now!"

"Hnggggggg pplleasseeeee or i will nag at you until morning"

Donghae keeps nagging and nagging so hyukjae just lets him to go to his room

"Fine"

Hyukjae already changed his clothes and brings his clothes for donghae to change also.. then hyukjae goes straight to sleep and doesnt want to wait for donghae who changed his clothes

Donghae who comes back after changing his clothes, climbs up the bed beside hyukjae... hyukjae  sleeps facing the other side and donghae feels dissappointed..

"Face me while sleeping or i cant sleep"

"Its not my business"

"We just kissed why do you treat me like this?" He pouts

"Eishhh sssssshhhh. fine fine. i'll face you lets just sleep"

"Hyukjae ya"

"Hmmm" he already closed his eyes

"I wanna hug you"

"why are you so demanding"

“pleaseeeeee”

“arghhh fine” 

Then donghae hugs him and places hyukjae's head in his chest

"It's cold i must keep you warm" hyukjae stays in his embraces like that without complaining.. he's too sleepy to complain.. 

"Hyukjae ya"

No answer...

Then donghae leans in closer

Hyukjae feels donghae's breath becomes so close and slowly opens his eyes..

Hyukjae stops him again by placing his fingers to his lips..

"lee donghae......." hyukjae loses all his drowsiness.... and his eyes looking at donghae's

"I like you..." donghae said with his softest eyes ever

This. those puppy eyes of his. His soft voice.. his gentle touches. His body's heat that runs into hyukjae's body.... it drives him crazy

 hyukjae never been so speechless.. he's weak.. he doesnt know how to act...

Hyukjae feels his heart about to explode..

"Y-you know.. b-but i dont know... i cant understand my feelings at all.... i-"

"I know.... i know.. i'll wait for you"

"but why?"

"Because it has to be you. I love being with you. I just love it so much. youve heard me before. in the car, i told you everything. it’s just you."

Hyukjae cant say anything and keeps his head down in donghae’s chest... he cant face donghae.... he might explode... he bets his ears are all red... and he feels so damn hot even it's winter...

"Can i kiss you?"

Silence.....

Then hyukjae nods softly..

Donghae slowly moves his hand towards hyukjae's cheek and the other hand pulling his waist closer...they kissed again.. but its more passionate and have more feelings... they didnt feel cold anymore, they are heated by the kiss...

donghae who's now on top of hyukjae and keep kissing him like there's no tomorrow... it's like hyukjae is his property only..

They kissed until they both are out of breath and pulled out from each other.... donghae hugs him again from the side while carressing hyukjae's hair and kissed it for few times.....

"잘자요 hyukjae ya"

"good night.." hyukjae who feels embarrassed to death and he just hides himeself in donghae's chest...

They both stay like that until morning comes.... they embrace each other warmly and they sleep like babies.

Morning comes and hyukjae slowly opens his eyes...

"emhhh.... oh my.." he still doesnt believe it either what he saw...

The first thing he saw is donghae's face beside of him.. he suddenly remembers the kiss.. 

"He already looks so good even he's sleeping, like how.."

"eishh whats wrong with me"

hyukjae tries to come down from the bed slowly because donghae's hand still in his waist.. so he slowly removes it.... afraid to wake him up... when he's about to success for coming down, then a pair of hands slip into his waist tightly and a voice appears next to his ear closely..

"where do you go?" said donghae who just woke up with his hoarse voice. He put his head above hyukjae's shoulder and keep whining

hyukjae almost jumped after hearing it *dammit that hot voice*

He always knew this kind of voice every morning they woke up after sleeping together.. because they did it often back in those old days.. but now, it is not the same,  it's like hyukjae always got heart attack when donghae comes close like this

"maybe take a shower and buy a breakfast..."

"sleep more :(" said donghae lazily in hyukjae's shoulder

"it's almost 9 am... i must go to gym later.."

Then he pouts cutely..

"Let me take you there then..."

"Fine.."

"Lets take a shower together"

"NO eish i can shower alone lemme go" donghae still hugs him tightly from the back

"Lee donghaeee comeonnnnn"

"letsss take a shower together like the old dayss"

"No fuckin waay lemme gooooo" hyukjae tries so hard to let it go and finally succeeding

Donghae just whines and tries to wake up also.

They both already been showering and they will have breakfast together..

After finishing breakfast and stuffs. Donghae drives him to hyukjae's gym.

"Okay then thankyou for dropping me off" said hyukjae awkwardly

"Of course. Dont overwork yourself, rest well after this. Bye bye"

"Sure bye"

"Oh wait." Donghae said

"What is it? Is there something i left in your car?"

"You left this"

Donghae shamelessly pressed a quick kiss in hyukjae's right cheek.

"YA LEE DONGHAE"

"bye bye!" Then he winks and leaves

"Eish im really really going insane"

Day by day passed and donghae keeps being clingy to hyukjae. But extended version, he always kissed him goodbye while parting ways. It can be forehead kiss or cheek kiss. Hyukjae is lied if he doesnt like it. He liked it so much but he didnt show it and always runs away from donghae after that...

"Ah where is the boy who used to cry here bcs of his bestfriend? Is he really opening up his heart again?" Teased leeteuk

"Hyung please"

"Hahahaha you arent bothered at all right by him? I knew you love it"

"No way"

"You cant lie to me hyukjae. You fall for hin again right?"

"But i hate for admitting "that feeling""

"It's been so long hyukjae, it's okay for falling in love again"

"I dont know hyung... but why it has to be him? i just dont know"

few days after, hyukjae who just woke up suddenly gets a call from leeteuk..

"Lee hyukjae it's urgent, donghae is sick and i cant go there bcs i have works. Can you come instead of me? He's been in high fever. im scared he will faint or something"

"Okay hyung i'll go there asap"

Hyukjae is worried as hell and he brings all the medicines from the dorm for donghae.

As he arrived there, he found donghae sleeps on the floor.. and he's freaking out

"Yahh lee donghae, are you okay? Hey, lemme take you to hospital come one wake up"

Hyukjae got so worried and try to lift donghae's body.

"Ehmmmh oh what time is it? Why am i on the floor? And why are you here hyukjae?"

"Leeteuk said youre sick af so i came.. lemme take you to hospital right now. can you stand by yourself?"

"Ah.... im not sick.. i just got hangover and maybe i fall asleep on the floor last night..... im totally fine but a little dizzy"

"what the-”

then he realized 

“Aish leeteuk hyung i'll get revenge on you someday arghhh" then hyukjae stands up and ready to walk out

"Im going home then. Bye im wasting my precious times"

"Aaaah dont go im really dizzy... can you help me please eung?"

"Its ur fault anyway"

"But i always help you after you drunk so many times..."

"Okay t-thats... ugh- fine"

Hyukjae walks to donghae and lifts him up. He helps donghae to get on the bed..

"Okay it's done im going. Eish wasting my time  worrying for nothing"

"Are you worried that much?"

"Bye im going home..."

Donghae pulls hyukjae's hand..

"Can you just stay with me?"

"Why should i?"

"I need your company.."

Donghae pulls a lil harder until hyukjae's body falls on his chest..

Donghae hugs him rightaway so hyukjae cant go...

"Hyukjae-ya.. there’s no a single time i would not think of you.. you know what, when you went to japan, i messed up all of things.. i cant get focused on anything... i just wanted to meet you.."

Hyukjae who still in donghae's chest said carefully

"How can i trust you? I cried so hard that day.. im tired of hurting"

"You know it hurts to see you cry. That day my heart breaks into pieces... i think how much i hate myself... i was so dumb. i knew.. but now i realize how can i live without you.. i cant stay away from you... i wanna hug you so tight and give you every little kisses every day.. i dont know when this started, but i want to make you mine every time i see you..  i wanna protect you and embrace you.. i cant take my eyes off of you"

"Hyukjae-ya look at me" donghae lifts hyukjae's head who leans in his broad chest then he saw hyukjae is crying...

"dont cry sweetheart please dont cry.." donghae carressed his tears away softly..

"I-i think i completely forget you. i convinced myself that i already moved on. i believe i had erased you completely.But i just realized i cant... how can i? i really cant forget you at all... i just keep pretending that i was fine if i keep this feelings alone.. i thought i already threw away my feelings. But you suddenly came to me again with those affections.. how... how can i just forget you easily.. i just cant.... life is so unfair i cant understand"

Donghae suddenly sits and lifts hyukjae easily to sit in his lap.. hyukjae who's still sobbing got flustered by his sudden actions.

"Ssssh dont cry... you know that im the crybaby, it's not you. You shouldnt be crying.. youre not supposed to cry... "

Hyukjae still sobs.. and palmed his face..

Donghae leans in and takes hyukjae's hands from his face slowly

He cupped hyukjae's face and leans in.. donghae's forehead touched hyukjae's completely..

"I love you so much.. can you love me back?"

Hyukjae still sobs but he nods softly..

Donghae smiled softly... this sweetest smile that always stuck in hyukjae’s head

"Say that you love me back" 

Donghae wiped off the tears that keep falling in hyukjae's cheeks..

"i-i like you so much i could die.." he sobs cutely

"good.. and i love you too"

Donghae leans in and kisses hyukjae's watery eyes delicately.. he pressed those little kisses slowly from hyukjae's forehead, eyes, cheeks, nose, and finally his lips...

The way hyukjae's lips melt in donghae's.. he kissed hyukjae passionately... the finally-you-love-me kiss that he always hopes.. not that heartbreaking kiss again, this kiss feels more delicate and warm. donghae moves his body and presses hyukjae down to the bed..

"Do you mind if..."

"just do whatever you want”

“good” 

hyukjae never thought that this day would happen for real.. his shirts and pants are on the floor... his  outfits that he wears prettily today is all on the floor mixed with donghae's.. they both are covered with blanket with donghae's hand for hyukjae's pillow.. hyukjae cant say a single word after all of the things that happened so quick in few hours..

"Say something babe"

"You idiot bastard how can i say something after you marked me like this... we just- arghhh i shouldnt say yes for whatever you will do... ive been tricked."

Donghae turned to sulky hyukjae and kiss hyukjae's shoulder..

"you know i cant resist you.. "

then donghae pulls hyukjae and hugs him close to his broad chest and hyukjae slowly hugs him back..

"stay with me until tomorrow?"

"Of course" hyukjae nods and hugs him tighter

"Dont you feel cold?"

"Nope. You hug me is enough.."

Donghae smiled  softly and hugs him tighter... 

“best day of my life.” donghae kissed hyukjae’s head softly

While hyukjae finally asleeps, donghae quickly messages leeteuk

"Hyung i will appear on your youtube more often!! i promise. Thank you for everything hahaha!"

"Eish this little punk. Happy now? Stop calling me just for crying that you miss him so bad. Ughhh im so tired listening your broken ass.  Dont send me even a single pic of both of you or i'll kill you."

"HAHA i was about to lmaooo bye bye hyung♡"

-end

[readbythestarlight]

c2e91

Fingers crossed for more Essek tonight

Did Matt get a haircut?

Oh lord Sam xD

"Cryptonic Override" lol hi Laura

Lol Laura xD

She’s such a good friend

"0010011 which is binary for YES" is it tho I wanna know

[[MORE]]

I love how the ads have become an arc xD

I’m pretty sure the gauntlets are forfeit already based on the time limit they gave her, but I hope Matt just ignores that

Also TravelerCon keeps getting further and further away I swear lol

Hott boi! OMG HE WANTS TO COME OVER FOR DINNER

IM GONNA CRY

A BABY BOI

he came for dinner to hang out with them and he brought a gift I’m crying

Whispers

OH MY GOD he stopped floating

He’s like!! Relaxing around them!!

Guys I’m so stupidly happy.

He’s opening up just a little bit

Not only is he a prodigy but his mom is the head of his Den?

"I’m not imposing, am I?" Oh honey never

They’re making him so at home guys I’m so emotional

I live for all this domesticity

Cad’s cooking, Essek is chilling casually with them. I’m so happy.

Oooo that’s an interesting take. Essek is consecuted but he doesn’t really buy into all the religion aspect, feels like it distracts from good things that could be done

Oh my god Laura just connected a dot from AGES ago

E: "I can see a similar spark in you, Caleb. I want to unlock these mysteries.... To pursue beyond the limits of what you’re told is capable. To seek the impossible. To do what every archangel before us has failed to do."

Like not to get too shippy on main but Caleb and Essek could be SUCH a wizard power couple

Beau I understand what you’re getting at and you’re right but let the wizard boys geek out about endless magic possibilities

Ohhhh no now he’s talking about things that would definitely interest Caleb

...Okay I can see now though how he and Caleb could not be good for each other, if neither is likely to restrain the other. If they’re both just the sort to delve headlong and get lost in it (even though Essek said they’d go slow) it wouldn’t be healthy.

Whispers!

Essek’s like where is this happy fun ball where is it

He’s a lonely boy who just wants to be friends!

He needs hugs tho and to be slightly less aloof still but it’s fine he can work on it

Y: "do you ever get lonely? In your solitude?"

E: "I didn’t think so, until recently. How about you?"

Y: "Yes, I think so... to be honest, I... didn’t feel lonely in my solitude until I became friends with them."

My HEART

Also Beau likes him which means the whispers were good

Fjord talking about how his goals are now to keep the group safe I’m EMOTIONAL

There’s a lot of sweet things being said I’m crying

I’m so torn about the Traveler because on the one hand for Jester’s sake I do not want him to be malicious (he was her only friend for such a long time, and who would she be without him in her own eyes), but also story wise it would be so fascinating.

J: "trying to find... you know... where I fit in...." oh honey

Jesus Essek you’re dropping the HEAVY lore oh my god

He got his dad killed??

"Doesn’t bother me necessarily, he wasn’t a great man. He had... little aspirations." Hmm... see okay that’s a side I don’t like and a side I don’t think would be good to have around Caleb.

Like doesn’t that sound a bit similar to the Trent/Astrid/etc way of thinking? What’s a life in the face of aspirations? What’s a life when that life doesn’t value what *I* value?

That’s something I hope we get to see Essek grow out of, but for the time being I’m gonna have to admit that suddenly I’m not vibing with Essek/Caleb as much. It doesn’t seem healthy just now.

Here’s another question: is Yasha consecuted

Is there a chance her WIFE could be consecuted?

I get what he’s saying and why he’s advising it, but it would backfire so hard if the Bright Queen ever found out

Ohhh that’s an interesting take. They want to "stop" the war so the war stops prying into what they’re doing

Oh man I forgot about the potion I’m glad they have it.

Oh my god he’s gonna dip in the hot tub xD

Getting some Cad lore and more found family feels

"Supported then as they’ve blossomed into heroes" babyyyyy

"These are good people, despite themselves." That’s the ultimate description of the M9

Beau cutting in is good because Caleb/Essek is now a potentially dangerous thing but I still crave that Caleb/Essek interaction

"It is one of many things that are fascinating about him." Goddd Liam

They’re trying to give Jester pointers for recruiting to her cult

And it’s actually kinda working xD

"Jeff is sold" that’s so sweet Fjord

And then she mentioned the volcano and it’s done xD

Talking about Cad’s stuff now

As much as I love the overall arc I’m ready to get back to character’s personal arcs too

Oh my GOD

"When you’re at an orphanage they give you a shit last name. Mine was Stone."

HOOOOOLY SHIT IT’S DESTINY

Oh my god if this is a coincidence it’s an AMAZING one

Caleb taking some time to encourage Jester

C: "I’m the transmutation wizard but... you’re the one who changes people. I see it every day."

J: "Really?"

C: "Ja. You’re a good friend; and you move people. I don’t know if you see that, but you do. Every day."

Oh Jester, honey... it’s not your fault, sweet pea.

Caleb offering to use major image to "decorate" to cheer her up

God they’re such the best

I’m cryyyyying god remember when they used to snip and snap at each other and now Caleb’s being so soft and sweet with her

TT: "You were my first, and you will always be my favorite." See that seriously lends to my personal favorite theory that he just didn’t exist until Jester imagined him into being and then he became a god because she believed so hard

Awww Yasha ans Cad sleepover because she doesn’t sleep well alone right now oh honey

Cad taking care of them all has just been my favorite. I can’t wait for them to get to/have to take care of them.

Yasha: slightly more buff

Beau: is aroused

It’s so cute that she was so determined to pay for them herself, didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to help her, and everyone was like NOPE

Also I’m so glad that Matt just let her have them and ignore the original time limit

So the first two hours were chilling with Essek, hour three was shopping, hour four will just be trying to decide where to go next

I’m imagining Essek just like sitting there at the table with all this breakfast food wondering when they’re going to show up and wondering if they just forgot or if he scared them away last night and they don’t really want to have breakfast with him, and when he gets Jester’s message he just jumps up and then has to try and play it cool

I love how he stopped floating as soon as someone mentioned it

Are they trying to

They are trying to teach him how to swagger now xD

He’s like please just eat the cheese and stuff I laid out

Caleb geeking out over Essek’s magic tower god they need to stop being cute

Oh my god we could get Veth fully back TONIGHT

Fuck I wish I hadn’t decided Essek/Caleb was probably not a good idea because I am LIVING for the shippiness right now

Like the whole exchange of “we should work together more” like GOD

Okay okay okay slow burn slow burn is fine they’ll have time to work out their issues and learn to reign each other in and it’ll be okay I can live with that and still slow burn ship it

But anyway this is about Nott

I’m... gonna. Miss Nott a lot of she leaves.

Oh fuck oh god it’s happening

Oh god oh god

Caleb is gonna miss her

I mean they all are but if she leaves Caleb will miss her the most. They started this together.

This can’t possibly be the end I can’t tolerate the idea of saying goodbye man

Sam why do you do this

Fjord coming in to say he understands the fear of making the choice to change

Oh god oh god oh god

It’s fine for Sam to crush us all huh

I’m crying guys this whole thing

What

Oh no oh god

What’s going on????

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK MATTHEW

oh god she’s cursed??

Matthew MERCER

HOLY SHIT

what the FUCK

The episode was a ROLLER COASTER

What if she’s just cursed?! What if she didn’t actually die??

On the one hand I’m glad Nott won’t be leaving but FUCK what a plot twist

Goddamn that was good

[debbiewilder]

top 5 debbie/ruth moments?

oh tough because first of all every moment between them is my favorite, but here’s what I’m feeling tonight, in no particular order.

1)

that entire fight scene at the hospital in 2x07. the whole series was building there, to them finally communicating more honestly, and it was just such a powerful, cathartic scene between the two of them.

this is cheating but I'm also counting a later moment as part of #1 because reasons

i love that moment when debbie comes back later in the ep with ruth’s clothes and asks to sign ruth’s cast but is so nervous and vulnerable she can’t even say the word sign she just says “can i s....” and just looks at ruth the whole time that she’s taking the pen from bash and waits for the okay. they can never really apologize to each other, ruth doesn't apologize for having sex w mark and debbie only apologizes in sharpie from the leg break but you just see how deeply they understand each other here and how at the end of the day they always come back to each other and take each other back (just like sheila’s parents bc ruth and debbie are paralleled to married people jeez GLOW yeah you can go ahead and parallel them to more married couples I’m fine with that thx)

2)

the whole 3x10 airport scene. throughout the series, debbie shows how deeply she cares about ruth but it’s rly always under the guise of it being about wrestling or this or that. finally in that airport moment, debbie’s basically saying “hey i care about you and i finally want you to really see that and I choose you because I want the best for you and i want the best for me and the best for me is with you..” (or something) and there’s just something incredibly powerful about the way the series builds to that moment too. 

i also find it so interesting how they once again discuss happiness and how much the meaning of that one word has shifted over the series (they also discuss happiness in their scenes in 1x01, 2x07, 2x10, and prob other times i’ve forgotten). 

also i love the hug, i mean we were waiting for it to happen again since the pilot. 

i love that we finally get to see that ruth isn’t going to passively take what others give her. (we know she’ll find her way back to debbie in the end, she always does).

and ruth saying that debbie understands ruth more than anyone?!! this scene  did that. i mean, we knew this in subtext, but this season took so much in subtext and made it text, and it all felt so earned. also the fact that Debbie says to Tex earlier in the ep that she could never say to Ruth what she legit ends up saying to Ruth in the end of the ep about Ruth’s acting...I...that’s so interesting. Like, yeah, Debbie truly does understand Ruth better than anyone, that is for sure. She legit predicted that Ruth’d say no here but was too excited and hopeful to think otherwise.

also debbie eagan who doesn’t like to be vulnerable w ppl or give up her power/control EVER, who has said stuff like i never want to see you again to ruth in the pilot, who said in 1x03 she’d throw ruth out a window if ruth talked to her again, legit running after ruth in an airport? invented romance, invented growth. what a dumbass, i love them both.

3)

1x04 pool scene. debbie can’t be in the same building w her husband but moments later chooses to stay for however long in silence w ruth...uh yeahh just the best. she has to act like she hates ruth because she knows that she shouldn’t care about ruth any more and she feels so powerless since her whole identity as housewife has been shattered that her hatred gives her a sense of control and power in ways, but in moments like these when she doesn’t have to act and have a mask on to protect herself because no one is watching, you see how much she cares and what ruth means to her. 

i love so much about this scene, the way silence and sound are used and it feels so intimate. i love the pool in between them, showing the gaping emotional distance between them.

it’s also such a contrast to those scenes w Mark who is always imposing on debbie what he wants at his pace rather than hers like therapeutic leans and wanting to sleep in their house but w ruth, debbie gets to choose the speed to which they come back together and is willing to be whatever debbie wants and takes debbie (her pain, her career, her as a person) seriously, so they actually get a chance to heal while debbie and mark fall apart in the end...yeahh

4)

1x09 that scene where debbie says what wrestling means to her and how she feels like a superhero (which becomes something they come back to again and again in the series) and you can tell ruth and debbie are still so fucked up but you can also see how deeply they need each other. 

like they’re so playful in the start of the convo?? and in the end can’t help but have an honest conversation even though they shouldn’t, even though ruth has hurt debbie so much, she can’t help but open up to ruth. and ruth thinks debbie’s going to abandon ruth (and GLOW) for mark, can’t seem to hear what debbie’s saying bc of insecurity (Debbie really just needs advice about what to do with Mark because she has no one else to talk to but Ruth can’t hear that), and it’s just such a perfect scene filled with miscommunication and need and the epicness of Debbie’s description of wrestling and the epicness of how Ruth listens with such intense longing and love and she’s just so proud of Debbie too and then that painful discovery “Sometimes I'm so sad you took away the option of us ever being able to have a normal fucking conversation.” I think we see both ruth and debbie’s insecurities and fears here in a lot of ways throughout this scene but also we see their connection and how they listen to each other and need each other...also omg they look at each other with soooo much love and longing jfc especially before Ruth looks away and she cuts herself off from speaking...it’s insane.....yeah i love this scene.

oh also the look of brief horror as ruth arrives at a lone debbie at the beginning of the scene, which I screenshotted above, where she realizes she’s stopped at debbie’s side and her face just screams, “oh nooo oh goddd!!” incredible. and the doorway thingy that visually separates them which happens a lot in the series, there are a lot of visual separations to go with their emotional distance. 

anyway, they’re testing the waters here. they’ve opened up to each other while wrestling because wrestling requires trust and communication, and this scene gives them an opportunity to test the waters with each other outside of that.  

5)

I think my favorite episode of the entire series is 1x07. In terms of favorite moment from that ep, it’d prob be the part where ruth and debbie describe what they want from wrestling. debbie says she wants to fly (again goes back to the superhero thing and i love the callback that occurs in 1x10 bc ruth pays attention to debbie’s wants here and says “you flew” at the end of their match in the finale). ruth says she wants the whole room to boo her, such a change over a few eps, the people pleaser who wants to be booed bc she just wants to make herself look bad to try and heal things w debbie and starts to find freedom and power in playing the bad guy. 

And the two are soo in sync as Carmen’s brothers show Ruth and Debbie various moves. Like they have the same reaction the whole time and confer with each other and it’s so cute?? And Debbie gets so excited as she sees something she wants to do and Ruth is so excited for her: “That. I want to do that.”

Like, ruth is just so excited to see how debbie’s grown and how empowered debbie has become because of wrestling. Adorable. and it’s super cute to see how ruth looks at debbie throughout the scene and just tries to be there for debbie. And, how much debbie trusts ruth with her body and safety and they just learn to communicate and explore what they want from their bodies together (such a difference from that 1x01 exercise scene where they’re all doing the same boring moves). like i love how empowering that scene is for them as individuals and together ok. 

Like, Ruth is Debbie’s #1 fan just look at her lil face in the screenshots above. She looks at her like that the whole episode. I just...

[austinshairbrush]

Talk That Shit

Request: Can you do an imagine where Zion puts you in your place for day something slick 

A/n: This wasn’t probably that freakiest imagine I’ve ever wrote. Your welcome 

Warning: Smut duh, overstimulation, toys, and I don’t wanna give too much away. 

That’s why I faked it last night! Yo dick ain’t do SHIT!”

Silence. Well until Edwin busted out loud causing everyone else to laugh, even you. Everyone was laughin except Zion. He looked pissed. But it wasn’t all your fault. Tonight the boys and their girlfriends were hanging out, drinking, and of course talking shit. And Zion just had to mention your  haircut. You recently did a big chop, because honestly you were bored.  And though Zion said he loves it , he couldn’t help but joke on you. He really set you off when he told everyone you wore a durag but your waves were on splash. That caused didn’t everyone to laugh. Even Nick and Austin’s ass. So you had to get him back. Did you go to far? Maybe, but he had to know you weren’t really faking because sex with Zion is mind blowing every time. He knew that right?

“Y/n in the car now. We’re going home.” It took a lot to get Zion upset, but when you saw him clench his jaw you knew he was bound to blow, but you just had to go on. “Nahh I’m stayin right here, you ain’t my daddy!” Causing Edwin to snort from laughter. “In. The. Car. Now.” Zion growled. After you saw he was really upset you got up quickly said your goodbyes and headed to the car.

“Do y’all think she really faked it?” Brandon asked, worried about your well being.

“I don’t know but she finna get her walls knocked down.” Fiffany sipped her drink.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Z I’m sorry! You know I was just playin! The petty side jumped out then jumped back in.”you tried to sympathize. The whole ride home Zion has been quiet. You probably said sorry 200 times but he wasn’t buying it.  “Baby please talk to me.” Silence. “If you talk to me.. I’ll suck yo dick.” Still nothing. You guys were at a red light and you looked down at you’re nails giving up hope when suddenly Zion picked up your jaw and kissed you. All that anger and rage was in that kiss. It wasn’t any other kiss. It was a nasty tongue down the throat type of kiss. The hand the wasn’t on the wheel snaked down to your skirt.  His long fingers were rubbing your already damp panties making you whimper and buck your hips. He pulled back on your bottom lip “When we get home, I don’t wanna hear a fuckin word out of you, understand?” You just nodded. He slapped you inner thigh “You can talk princess.” “Yes.” Zion just smirked and turned his  attention to the road. When you guys got home you practically ran to the door to open it excited about what was gonna happen. When you both walked in he plopped his ass on the couch and turned on the tv. “He’s suppose to be clappin my cheeks!” you thought. You opened your mouth to say something, but remembered the car ride and quickly shut it. Suddenly an idea popped in your head. If he wasn’t gonna give you attention then you were gonna make him give you attention. You took off your shirt and skirt and threw them at him. No reaction. You walked up the stares, making sure to make your ass jiggled more then usually. When you went in your room you closed the door and ran to your drawer. When you opened it you saw the one thing that would get you through those lonely night when Zion was on tour. Your seven in a half hot pink vibrator. You knew this would push his button you quickly stripped out of your bra and panties set, and turned it on. You hummed with excitement ready to put your plan to work. You ran your fingers down your nipples making them hard. You sighed and the feeling, then brought the toy down to your slit teasing yourself. You let out little ohs and ahs nothing too big. You then turned it on the medium setting and worked it in and out you. Fuck not being able to talk “Fuuuuckk! Oh my god!” It wasn’t that good but it helped a little bit. You then moved the other hand to your clit showing it some love. “Shhiit!! I’m bout to cum!”you yelled. Just when you were about to release you felt someone’s hands on your wrist. Zion’s. “Didn’t  I tell you to shut up?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“FUUUUCKK! BABY I’M SORRY!!”you screamed. Zion was currently burying your face in the pillows. He was truly blowing your back out. The way he was gripping on to your hips you were bound to have bruises in the morning.

“Nahh you was talkin all that shit. Talk that shit now!” He was mesmerized by the way your pussy left cream in his dick. Beteeen your cries, and the sound of his hips snapping you were gonna cum for the seventh time that night. “OH GOD! OH GOD!! OH GOD! OHHHHH GODDD!!!”you chanted. “God ain’t tearing yo shit up,what’s my name?” He slapped your ass causing you to run, “Don’t run babygirl. Take. This. Dick. “ Each word was a stroke and caused you to slowly break down. ““What my name?”

With your juices dripping down your leg you moaned out “ZIONNN!!” He reached down to slap your clit. “Stop playin, what’s my name? You don’t get to cum if you don’t say it ”

“CALEBB!!” Another slap to the clit but he rubbed it after, causing you to throw it back on him.

“DADDY!! SHIT DADDY!!” You cried out. ““You fakin it now baby?” Zion teased. “NOOO DADDY PLEASE LET ME CUM!!” You sobbed. You were crying real tears because this pleasure Zion was giving you was gonna make you pass out. “Aww who’s makin you unravel like this?” “YOU DADDY!! ONLY YOU!”you were bound to break any second until you heard those three little letters.

“Cum.”

You letl out a sob, squirting all over his dick. Zion filled you up on a loud “FUUUUUUCCCKK!” When he pulled out, he slapped your ass making you loose balance and fall deeper into the bed. You let our small whimpers, missing his dick inside you.

“Next time you talk that’s shit I won’t be so mercyful!”

[fccdfcrthcught]

for context these were my tags:

#oh this is so interesting!!#i slightly disagree#i think will has always fancied himself a good potential father and likes the idea of parenthood as he understands it#but yeah he DEF resented walter and it’s def bc he was so ‘painfully average’#i can’t imagine will would be a good dad to a normal kid#he and hannibal would basically have to find an abigail 2.0#i know he says he’s disconnected from the concept of family but.. i’m remembering him saying he’d be a good father so.. longingly 🥺#i think he wants fatherhood but knows better#and i think walter bored him#and i think molly bored him too not as much as walter but basically in order to connect to somebody will needs to relate to them#like georgia and peter#that extends to family#i imagine hannibal didn’t feel any real affection for his parents and i imagine will didn’t either? like i don’t think he Loved his dad juno#*yknow not juno GODDD

and this was op’s response in the replies:

@rebuildingchilton i actually don’t disagree that will thinks he’d be a good father. because to the right child he Would be. as we saw with abigail. i just think he’s not someone who is a natural father, or someone who just has general paternal instincts. i think as you said, he has to be able to relate to them. like an example, my best friend is a mom and a great mom! but she was never a natural mother, towards children she normally felt nothing if not annoyance.

@rebuildingchilton she wasn’t a naturally mothering/maternal person. but she is a Good mother to her son. i guess that’s what i mean. will’s not a natural family man, someone who has always craved it, craved that connection of being a father. but with abigail, someone he saw himself in and felt those paternal urges for, she was an exception. and i think he and hannibal would have had to find a abigail 2.0 (which i feel like would be near impossible) for him to feel that again. but of course that’s just my opinion!! i love some other peoples takes on his desire to be a father!!

and here’s my response:

i agree with your point about his ‘paternal instincts’ not being very strong in reality! i guess it’s really up to individual interpretation re: his natural parenting skills, because we don’t really get to see him acting like a dad at all. obviously he has a nurturing streak (his dogs, he tells Bedelia in s3 he would feel the urge to help a wounded bird - assuming he was telling the truth to her, which, based on his habit of saving strays, i think he was). but like i don’t think his interactions with walter count as ‘fatherly’ at all. and it’s not like we’ve ever seen will holding a baby or something LMAO

as a lonely person, will tends to fantasize about social interaction (ex: ‘fishing’ with abigail). i couldn’t see him actively fantasizing like that about having a child pre-abigail (at least not more than passing thoughts). i think he’s always known that fatherhood would be a bad idea for him. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t desire it.

i do think that he would like the idea of passing on knowledge and shaping a life - hannibal has a line in s1 re: abigail, about moulding a young mind or something like that (i’m paraphrasing), and i think will would relate to that. they’re both manipulative and narcissistic and the idea of a ‘worthy’ child learning from them must be appealing in a selfish way.  so i think regardless of his actual intentions (or lack thereof) to start a family it’s always been something he subconsciously desires - i mean why is he a professor? i know it was a second option he took after not passing the FBI screenings but he must like shaping minds and passing on his own opinions and knowledge. this is a very patriarchal definition of the duties of fatherhood obviously, but it still applies.

however i agree with you that actual, deliberate, recognizably paternal motivations didn’t arise in him until meeting abigail (whereas with hannibal i hc he was very paternal with mischa so he was previously familiar with the feeling). he mentions post-abigail that he’s already beginning to grow attached to his and margot’s baby in s2..  :(

i think abigail really left a lasting impression on him and made him actively desire fatherhood, because for the first time in his life it actually felt like an option, for several reasons - before molly, will would never have gotten married. abigail opened the floodgates of his mind, BUT i think a strong desire to raise a child 100% existed subconsciously in his mind before that, with or without his knowledge.

because of abigail and mischa, and will and hannibals own narcissism, i think their bar is extremely high for a child (most likely a daughter!!!!), and that will, like you say, only experiences conscious paternal feelings (protectiveness, the desire to pass on knowledge, the desire to understand his child more deeply) when a child of that caliber (eg: abigail) comes along. like you said, one of the things will and hannibal would pass on to abigail is the ability to blend in. they could only teach that to a child that has … unsavoury similarities to will and hannibal.

however i do think that more unconscious paternal desires have existed in him for a long time, in spite of and perhaps because of his disconnect from his own parents and his disconnect from humanity as a whole. to extrapolate on my tags, i don’t think will considers himself a good candidate for fatherhood - reading between the lines, i think what will meant was “I want to be a good father,” rather than, “I would be a good father.”

he was a lonely man with a million dogs (referred to as his ‘children’ in the s1 scripts once) with knowledge to pass on and affection to give and the strength and loyalty required to raise a child. combine that with never feeling understood by the rest of the world, including his family? what man in that position wouldnt fantasize about having a child of his own? my mother (a ‘natural mother’ in that she’s always wanted kids) has told me that she wanted children because she knew she would connect to them in a profound way that would change her life. Will craves change and he craves love!

anyway. walter bro u good

i sincerely believe if it weren’t for molly, will wouldn’t have cared about walter at all. will is not a family man. he self stated he always felt disconnected from the concept of family. he’s not someone that strikes me as being a natural parent. i firmly believe he bonded so strongly with abigail because he saw himself in her. will is an incredibly insightful person as we know. and i believe he knew what she was, her potential for violence and manipulation / that she helped her father, way before he found out about nicholas boyle and before that day in minnesota. the same way he Knew what hannibal was way before he ever “figured it out”. a part of him felt their kindred spirits, he knew they were just like him. people who under their superficial surfaces were killers. people who felt powerful when killing, saw the beauty in it. “it felt good”. so will bonded with abigail, he felt a sense of responsibility to take care of her, just as hannibal did. think about what hannibal says to will “we have to serve her better than garret jacob hobbs”. they both wanted to protect her, mold her and teach her to hone her violent urges in a way they both had. help her build a successful person suit so she could hide in plain sight like them. so all this being said, any other child, especially one so painfully average like walter, would never ever be able to compare to what he had with abigail. i think for him it truly was a once in a lifetime kind of bond, just like with hannibal. so if anything, i feel will deep down, whether he acknowledged it or not, resented walter. he would look at walter and see just how much he Wasn’t Abigail. never would be. we see how cold he is with him in the hospital after his MOTHER HAS BEEN SHOT. like this kid calls him dad, and will couldn’t be a little more comforting?? instead the only thing he can focus on is that he had to “justify himself to an 11 year old”. i believe will loved molly, there are many different kinds of love. and he’s capable of having feelings beyond his feelings for hannibal. but i do believe if it weren’t for molly, if her and walter weren’t a package deal, will never would have considered being a father again after abigail. because every child would pale in comparison.

[aimorgbot]

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKK

i cannot get k out of my mind i am so goddamn hung up over feelings of nostalgia

it’s like i’m 6 years younger, it’s like he’s right there, so close but so far away

-

god

AFTER 3 DAYS OF NOT PLAYING we got to play again and i’m buzzing with happiness i’m so fucking ecstatic, he invited me to his disc and i got to witness his buddies and their entire group was so FUCKING FUNNY i couldn’t stop laughing i loved it, and he gave me shit about it the entire time and i couldn’t be happier oh my god. i don’t know how i’m going to sleep or think or focus on anything for the next week. he says he starts his job later so i hope he’ll be able to come home before then and potentially I MIGHT SEE. gfsdfuihgsdoif they kept on referring to me as his girl and i just am gushing sinfdsfmndsf like oh my god my heart it’s been so long since i’ve felt this way

-

so that night i went to bed, i got god awful sleep. i literally stayed awake in my bed for 2-3 hours straight not able to fall asleep because of all of that. on another note, finished my exams, thought i did pretty okay on them. played league with k some more, i had again so much fun but we didn’t end on a good note. we had a bad game in ranked and it was just so disheartening, he got off the computer altogether and now i’m overthinking if i did something wrong, or if i was too much or too annoying. i know i’m overthinking but also at the same time i’m so worried about it. fuck dude, i’m so sad about it. 

on a side note, i guess i was supposed to hang out with S today but i kind of forgot, and i apologized and messaged him about it and he literally just flipped his shit, after i said something came up anyways, he said, “so are you going to talk about it or is it just not worth bringing up?”

Me: “it doesn’t matter anymore”

S: “oh okay so this is just something that’s going to make me feel worse then”

Me: “I don’t know what you mean by that?”

S: “i’ve been feeling like literal dogshit the entire day and i at least deserve an explanation.”

As soon as I read that, I had so many fucking things run through my head. Like, I don’t owe you fucking anything first of all, second of all, just because YOU feel like dogshit does not at all justify that you can take it out on me or make me feel bad. And last, he doesn’t even know what came up or fucking asked like he cared, he knows I struggle a lot with depression and shitty situations you’d think that would at least run through his head before he said any of that, but no. Just lashed out and acted selfishly, as if I owe him anything. I said - 

Me: “Just because you feel bad does not at all mean that you can take it out on me. That’s not okay, and I’m done with this conversation.”

- 

another update, it’s the day after from the last note and i got to fucking play with k again all day today. ALL day, literally from 3pm to 10. 7 hours. i.. oh my god. he makes me so fucking happy, like i don’t know how to describe it or what it is. it’s completely different from anybody else, i genuinely hope and want to get closer to him as a whole. when we played league, we played bot lane together for most of the time and after almost every game he honored me with the <3 one and IT’S SO LITTLE BUT IT MEANS SO MUCH LIKE I’M grinning ear to ear from it, i was screaming in my head about it i loved it so much. he also was just, god, we had a lot of people in call at the time so both of us were a little bit more quiet and didn’t talk as much, but he did these little jokes that were so fucking funny and one of them killed me. absolutely killed me and i couldn’t stop laughing and he started laughing because i was laughing so hard and i fucking love it. i loved all of it. i love his laugh so much, it’s one of the best things i’ve ever heard.

-

ah ha, fuck. my friend and i went out to go get pizza and then i was talking about k and i brought up his insta to her and she fucking requested to follow him for me and i got pissed but i mean, i wanted to, i just didn’t have the balls. but as i was scrolling through it, he’s in a relationship and my heart just sunk, even now. i just feel so upset about it. i still really fucking like him obviously, but.. i don’t know. i don’t know what to do, how to act. 

-

same day as last note, i’m just so much more down in the fucking dumps. feeling so attached and connected so quickly and knowing that fucking nothing is going to come out of it hurts so much. like holy fucking shit. what am i supposed to do. what the fuck am i supposed to do. he’s graduating, he’s going to have a job right after in the same state, and likely so is his girlfriend and they’ll probably still be together and i’m just. holy shit. what the fuck. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. i’m glad he’s happy, i think, i think, but at the same time i’m so fucking upset. all i want to do is be near him and joke and laugh with him, i want to make him happy.

-

i’m tipsy i think a couple days after from the last note and all i can think about is k - i don’t even know how much i want him i want him so fucking badly, in all ways.I LIKE HIM SO MUCHHH oh my FUCKING GODDD i just want to be with him why does it have to be like this

- several days after that, dude k went mia for like 4-5 days because of moving but oh my god i was suffering so much, i missed him so much it was killing me. but he came back and now we’re getting tipsy/drunk and playing video games with each other for the past 2-3 days and counting, i love it so much it’s so much fun. but he mentioned his girlfriend today and how he stayed up super late to play video games with me, and he told his gf that and she got super pissed. like super super mad. and he ended up calling her and putting her on speaker so that i could like tell her that i knew that they were about to move in together and oh my god, my heart just sunk. it’s nothing i don’t know, but it’s still just.. it just FUCKING HURTSS dude. every time it just feels like a stab, and the way he says my name and just how we fuck with each other it feels so, so good but then i just am brought back down because of all of that.

- (week or more since last note)

yeah it’s kind of all over now, it was slowing down and regressing anyways but i guess the reality and also a couple things he’s said recently killed it (I was trying to play video games with him and he ended up saying something like “well this is a stretch because we only got like 2 games to play with each other so this probably won’t last long” and in my head I was like, oh, ok guess i’ll just fucking die then FUCK ME THEN). but i’m glad, it should be like that. he deserves to be happy and have a good life and i know if i were to be anything more, even if it were a slight interest, it’d complicate and make everything worse for him and that’s the last thing i want. so i’m chilling, i know my heart really craves something fulfilling, so my emotions are so intense that it really does feel like i like them way more than i actually do, otherwise my crushes wouldn’t die so easily, you know? at least i hope.

-

i dont know how long it’s been since last note, but god. still hanging out with k and i still love it but god damn im so fucking lonely

[seastarved]

OK BUT LIKE HOW DID WE GET SO BLESSED TO SEE OUT OTP GO THROUGH THESE INCREDIBLE THINGS BECAUSE LIKE THIS IS FUCKING EPIC ROMANCE TERRITORY AND I AM SO FUCKINGEMOTIONAL BUT LIKE OK LOOK

I LOVE EMMA SWAN LOL AND HOW HER INSTANT REACTION IS LIKE THE FUCK?

ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH

T B H

HER FACCEEEE SHE’S HEARING HIS VOICEEE

AND THIS ASSHOLE. I AM SO MAD AT HIM AND HIS PERFECTNESS. HE LOVES HER SO FUCKING MUCH I WILL BREAK MY KEYBOARD I SWEAR ONE OF THESE DAYS BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH.

AND IMMEDIATELY, LIKE HE DOESN’T EVEN FUCKING KNOW IF SHE’S LISTENING OR WHAT AND HE JUST HOPES. LIKE THE TIME HE GAVE UP HIS FUCKING SHIP FOR A HOPE TO SEE HER. THIS MAN LOVES HER SO MUCH, IT IS A PERMANENT ACHE UPON MY SOUL.

I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU. I WAS COMING BACK TO YOU LIKE WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS WHY DO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. HOW CAN YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH YOU ASSHOLE.

AND SHE’S LIKE IMMEDIATELY IN TEARS BECAUSE FUCK ALL SHE WAS GONNA MOVE ON. MOVE ON MY ASS TBH. SHE WAS TRYING SO HARD TO DO IT THOUGH BECAUSE IT WAS HURTING SO MUCH BUT THE RELIEF IN HER FACE AND THE TEARS AND I AM JUST A PUDDLE LEAVE ME HERE

I LOVE YOU HE SAID. HIS VOICE CRACKED AND HE’S JUST DESPERATE AND HOPING AND TELLING HER HE LOVES HER WITHOUT KNOWING IF SHE’S EVEN HEARING HIM AND IT HURTS ME SO FUCKING MUCH I CAN’T EVEN DEAL WITH THIS NONSENSE

AND HER FACE AND THE RELIEVED SOB AND THE FACT THAT SHE WASN’T WRONG TO TRUST HIM AND THAT SHE ISN’T GONNA BE ALONE AND THAT SHE WAS RIGHT IN HER LOVE AND HE LOVES HER HE LOVES HER HE LOVES HERRR

AND I’M TRYING TO GET HOME TO YOU LIKE OH MY GODDDDDD WHAT AHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME WITH YOUR VOICE AND YOUR FACE AND YOUR LOVE FOR EMMA SWAN WHAT IS THIS WHYYYY

I LOVE YOU TOOOOO SHE SAYS AND I AM JUST SO IN AWE OF THIS SCENE BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT EVEN NEAR EACH OTHER AND I FEEL THEIR LOVE AS THOUGH IT WERE A TANGIBLE THING AND I AM IN SUCH PAIN AND SO EMOTIONAL AND I CANNOT EVEN UGH I LOVE HER AND HIM AND HOW SHE LOVES HIM AND HE LOVES HER

AND THIS FACE BECAUSE HE CAN’T HEAR HER LIKE THE FUCKING LEVELS OF ANGST JUST WENT SO HIGH UP AND I AM FEELING SO MANY EMOTIONS AND IT IS WONDERFUL BECAUSE LIKE THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW A STORY HAS TOUCHED YOU BECAUSE I LITERALLY CANNOT STOP SCREAMING RN BUT ALSO THE FUCKING FUCK HOW DARE YOU SIR? HOE DARE?

AND SHE’S TRYING TO LET HIM KNOW THAT HE IS LOVED TOO. THESE TWO LONELY HUMANS HAVE FOUND ONE ANOTHER TO LOVE AND THEY’RE STUMBLING THROUGH THE WHOLE THING BUT FUCK IF THEY DON’T LOVE EACH OTHER WITH EVERYTHING THEY HAVE AND IT MAKES ME HURT IN MY TINY HEART

LOOK AT HER FACE AND HOW MUCH SHE IS TRYING OH MY GODDD

ALSO LIKE YOU KNOW YOUR OTP HAS REACHED EPIC ROMANCE LEVELS WHEN THE BIG BAD OF THE SEASON SPECIFICALLY TARGETS ONE HALF OF YOUR OTP TO GET TO THE OTHER HALF WHILE THEY’RE BOTH FIGHTING TOOTH AND NAIL TO GET BACK TO ONE ANOTHER.

CAN WE FUCKING SAY EPIC ROMANCE THOUGH?

CAN WE?

IT’S AMAZING LIKE I AM IN PAIN AND YET I AM HAPPY BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH THEY LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND I AM EXCITED TO SEE THEM FIGHT FOR EACH OTHER AND I JUST NEED A HUG

*FALLS OVER*

[ariyadaivaris]

Yo! Don't apologise for that essay! I followed you based off of your idea so I think we're gonna talk about this fantasy match a lot! I totally agree with everything you said tho!How long would the rivalries be between each other before they call a truce? Or better yet, they team up to become an iconic mixed supernatural tag team that's unstoppable! Then, when they dominate everyone, They go after the universal title!!!!!!!

Ember gonna be like "I'm not betraying you." Because wolves are very loyal to their pack, but ember low-key wants it bad! Then, since he's a demon, he betrays her which causes the greatest fantasy feud ever!

OHHHHOHOHO I’M LIKE, CLAPPING MY HANDS GLEEFULLY RIGHT NOW THIS IS SO GOOD!!! ohhhh man besides this tag team absolutely kicking both my ass and the ass of anyone else in the division, this concept is AWESOME. i feel like when they turn their attention to the universal title, it’s probably gonna have to be someone with a friend to help them hold onto the title, so the conflict starts out primarily as a tag team feud. but everyone KNOWS that the universal title can only be held by one person, and as the tension builds, everyone agrees it would make more sense for ember to be the one to turn on finn? finn’s historically been a face in wwe, he has friends on the roster, he has a rollercoaster of a history going on, while ember’s...like, pretty clearly a threat! they’re both supernatural, and both faces, but ember is, forgive the pun, a lone wolf, and she’s currently undefeated save for asuka! that seems like someone who’d have an amazing heel run! 

but that’s obviously not how things shake out, i think that, if this is still Brand Split Era on raw, angle seems like the kind of person who books things to better Lead To Something Productive. even all the grudge matches he’s booked lead to at LEAST a settling of tensions. he could book this universal title match to be a fatal 4way, which lets the universal champ and their backup get to a point of conflicting interests, AND pits finn and ember against each other. 

ember might be a loner, she doesn’t interact with people of her own choice that often, she’s got such a precise focus on victory and the hunt, but she’s a wolf in her heart, and she’s got a constant undying loyalty to her name. no matter how badly she wants this universal title, she isn’t going to win it at the cost of finn’s trust. she’ll pin their opponents, she’s going to just try and...avoid finn during this match, she doesn’t want to hurt him unless it’s necessary. 

finn, though, finn’s possessed by a demon to begin with, and he doesn’t HAVE the same loyalty that ember does, if there’s a friend going after something he wants, he’s more willing to kind of...step in between them and stop them. like. joe’s entire situation with trying to get a title shot from him, they were friends until joe turned, at least, finn verbally committed to a title match but still just happened to never actually...give joe a shot! finn’s. well. he’s got a demonic influence and look at him, this ambitious brutal armani model motherfucker, in this fatal 4way match after ember manages to temporarily wipe out the other 2 contenders (i feel like she could hit an eclipse from the apron? like, someone’s out on the outside and she just DOES the damn thing and everyone agrees that holy shit that was awesome), after ember tries to pull someone back in the ring to get the pin, finn’s waiting on the inside, watching her from the corner, and then the atmosphere just CHANGES and you see him slowly point his dumb bullet club finger guns at her and the roar of outrage from the crowd when he just demolishes her and wins the title is DEAFENING. 

and then this amazing wonderful fantasy feud, holy shit, because this isn’t even just finn betraying ember, finn’s turning heel for the first time in wwe, all his friends and allies are alienated and not only is the demon in control but so is this cutthroat asshole version of finn, teleporting into ember’s matches to play mind games with her, GODDD ember’s devastated. she’s loyal and honorable and respectful above anything else, she trusted finn and teamed up with him and she doesn’t really LIKE committing to teams, she let him into her pack and he hurt her. she is burning with a righteous white-hot fury, she is GOING to free the flame on this fucker, her entrance for their title match at the next ppv (MAYBE AT MANIA??? THEY COULD MAIN EVENT MANIA, AS LONG AS WE’RE SPITBALLING HERE) involves SOME kind of flamethrower i feel like, ember’s not necessarily one for melodrama, she’s one for Aesthetics and Being A Cool Werewolf, but she doesn’t usually waste much time expressing anger outside of the ring? for finn though she is lighting this motherfucker UP, ember’s conflicted between her respect and honorable nature and just RAGE, this match turns out so so brutally and the demon and ember tear the house down, and when the dust clears i...personally...without thinking about the storyline or plot after this particular match, i would VERY much love if ember walked out of wrestlemania the universal champion, on the grounds that it’s fucken rad as hell,