#they went on a field trip to the trampoline the other day

[rosereign]

My daughter has a collection of baby dolls that she’s always taking care of and she gave me one and it won’t stop crying

[blooming-basil]

And I guess what does and doesn't define my lore when it comes to our brain and body's history is really interesting; it's Boy Scout trips (and really wanting to be a Boy Scout, since we went with family), it's the long days of summer camp (specifically the camps focused on, like... field trips, sleepaway, swimming... and the snow cone truck, and free swim Fridays... my friends and I making impossible hopscotch and the summer sun being too bright to see through... watching the other kids go through the secret tunnel they found in our cabin...), it's our pet turtles and blowing bubbles out of the second story window, it's all of those times living with our relatives and preferring to hang out with their dogs, it's climbing the peach tree because I will not show up to my grandmother's house without something fresh from our yard, it's the unrecognized parts of our conditions (physical, mental, neurological, developmental...), it's deciding that quiet reading is much better than socializing, it's inhaling book after book about feline society and fairy novels and dog facts and anything else we could get our hands on, it's library trips with arts and crafts, it's playing our DS in the car after a family gathering (you know, being so tired because I sat in a room all by myself playing with a wooden bunny puzzle on the floor), it's the beach and almost getting swept away by the waves, it's a looming fear with no face and no name and no sound... it's trampolines, it's birthday parties, it's museums (but not the one we worked at...), it's being bad at sports but amazing at card and board games because strategy comes so much easier than moving, it's-

Half of this is just me describing being disabled, huh...?

Finding out where you exist in your system's lifetime is... strange. Like, well, I found out that I probably formed during our preteen to early teen years! Hence my, you know... being twelve.

My system has a tendency to "recycle" the consciousnesses that no longer serve a defined purpose... so while it's true I wasn't always "Basil", I was always... me. This pocket of memories and functions just got a new coat of paint (identity). It all kind of fits into place, you know?

I feel like I like a lot of what we liked then, and dislike what we disliked. I have a lot of vivid memories of things like summer camp and school that blend in with my source memories very easily, to make up for the things my brain forgot about or dissociated from (such as going on camp trips and, instead of sitting next to my friend of the day, I'm next to Sunny... or instead of our past campmates, I'm playing dodgeball- and dodging for my life- against Kel and Aubrey... or Kel getting banned from the fire pit for obvious reasons... or the snapping turtles! I know Sunny loved them; he'd just stare into the water looking for them, and I- wait, okay, this isn't memories story time, I'm sorry!).

It's all really light and nostalgic. I don't have everything from back then, of course! I know others in my system have things that just don't fit with my "lore" (our brain loves very neat categories, so anything that doesn't really align with the experiences I most relate to don't get given to me; it creates a very linear, separated narrative where nothing can be out of place).

... that was also when we started realizing we were not cis. Or straight. Maybe that's why my whole deal is just... sheer panic right now. What am I? I have no idea! Haha... ha... h..........................

[colourful-void]

How I Acquired An Authentic Foam Pit Cube from a Trampoline Foam Pit

So I was in 7th grade, bit of a loner, and because of mixed classes and stuff, me and the other 7th graders got to go on the 8th graders graduation field trip.

There were a few stops on the trip, I spent most of the bus ride staring out the window and humming to myself because I didn't have a phone or any friends back then, but the 3rd stop on the trip was to a trampoline park. The best stop, or at least the only stop I remember now. (There was also a shitty arcade iirc).

While I was there, 12 year old me who formed emotional attachments way way too easy, decided I really, really wanted a foam cube from the foam cube pit more than anything.

I seriously considered stealing one, but the guilt of that probably would have ruined me, so I opted not to.

I mentioned my wishes offhand to one of the other kids on the trip with me, who said I should just ask for one. I later learned this was a joke/sarcasm but 12 year old me didn't know that. I made up my mind.

As the group was leaving, I went up to an employee and just: asked if I could have a cube. There's me with ratty messy hair and an ill fitting shirt and sh-t communication skills at some teenager probably getting minimum wage going like "I was wondering if I could have, um uh one of the cubes... from the foam pit..." as I point to the foam pit like there's more than one.

I had like 20 dollars on me to buy souvenners and I was prepared to ask to purchase one of the cubes. The employee, confused as all hell, was just like "..., hold on." and thus I stood and waited. Iirc, he went to go ask some higher up, but couldn't find one. He then decided "fuck it, sure come grab one."

Some guy who was kind of a dick to me at the time but I think has mellowed out since, also hung around to figure out why I was hanging around, and also particpated in the retrival of the cubes.

I picked out a light blue turqoise one from a bit into the pit with the least tears and holes in it i could find. He grabbed a hole ridden dark blue one, and we both left.

As soon as I came back, a bunch of kids were like "hey where the fuck did void-of-many-colours get the cube" and I again taking things very literally was like "I asked for it".

This led to several kids going to grab cubes, teachers getting mad at them, and several kids putting cubes back. But maybe because I was quiet or maybe because they just didn't notice, I got on the bus cube in hand and it made it all the way home with me. I don't remember if the other guy got his cube out, but I know that several kids asked to hold it on the ride back and antisocial me told them no.

The cube then lived on display in my room for several years, some kids still asked to have it and I continued to say no. In 9th grade it was then painted over to be a companion cube as part of a Chell cosplay. The painted cube lives on to this day, on display in my bedroom.

and that is the story of the foam cube I slightly stole from a foam pit trampoline park.

[harrypotterhogwartshitpost]

since i shit post here now, let's talk about times people thought i was attractive that i didn't realize until YEARS later

fun facts about me is that when i was in high school and completely undiagnosed- and was a high schooler- i hated myself because i thought everyone found me annoying and unattractive and a general nuisance. (somewhat true- i am very annoying, and i know that and accept that as part of my personality)

here are some times people thought i was attractive/like me (TW: sexual content)

---

one time i had to go to my younger brother's friend's birthday party when i was like seven, and they all had a crush on me because i was the only attractive girl who would interact with them (because i had to) and i think it was near valentine's day because the decorations/party favors felt pink/red. well after we get party favors one of them gave me a heart eraser and said "you know what hearts mean right?"

and i've only had a thing for two of my brother's friends- one i met like a year later i think at his own birthday party. and one like two years ago.

---

when i was in 4th grade some 6th graders moved in down the block. me and my brother were the only other kids in the neighborhood, and we had a trampoline. so they would come over and use the trampoline and stuff. and one of them tried fuck me

like it wasn't assault or anything b/c when i was like "nah dude" he stopped" but like- 4th grade... no one's attractive in 4th grade, also FOURTH FUCKING GRADE (for my non american followers, 4th grades are about 8/9 and 6th graders are like 10/11)

---

when i was in 5th grade my girl scout troop went on a field trip, and on the way back in the van we all rode in, one of the girls i was sitting with asked if i wanted to "pretend to be lesbians" and basically wanted me to finger her/to finger me

---

when i was on drumline i learned that the previous year two of the rookies in the grade behind me had a crush on me. in my school rookies started in 8th grade (12/13), and i was a year ahead of them.

like two years later is when i find out from other people on drumline that the two of them liked me.

this sucked because

one of them just gave off bad vibes. everyone knew he was really weird, in a bad way, and had a creepy reputation

the other one i ended up liking the year i found out he had like me. and i liked him through the rest of high school, but i didn't find out he liked me until he had moved on and was dating someone else.

---

when i was in like 9th-10th grade apparently all of my guy friends had a thing for me, but none of them told me until after we graduated

and i'm not sure if that actually LIKED me or if i was just the first girl in our friend group to get tits

which it doesn't matter because most of them i didn't like like that, and the one i did made out with me and tried to finger me and get me to touch his dick while he had a girlfriend- that i set him up with

but in all fairness his girlfriend made out with me too

imagine you go through high school and the entire time you were there you thought no one liked you and you were just annoying and not attractive and generally a nuisance

then graduate and like 90% of your guy friends are like "yeah you're hot and i used to have a crush on you"

---

my senior year when the band taking our group pictures, i was breaking dress code b/c we were in our bibbers (band overalls) and it's 98°F , feels like 110°F . and we're standing on pavement, getting ready to get on the metal bleachers for the pictures

so i'm chilling in just a sports bra under my bibbers, and i have the shoulder straps off. now the sports bra i had worn before under an unbuttoned hawiian shirt, and my band director complimented my outfit as a way of letting me know that even though it's technically out of dress code, i can still wear it.

i look up while we're still waiting on the pavement to take the picture, and my section leader is staring at my boobs. i look up and we make eye contact... he tried to deflect the attention from himself by yelling "peyton is staring at nicoles tits" . peyton (a rookie on drumline at the time) was also in fact, staring at my boobs.

---

after high school, not even two months into college i lost my virginity to one of the hottest guys i've ever seen- like damn, even my friends agreed- and i had no idea why this man was even willing to look in my direction, but apparently he thought i was very attractive

---

this is less dramatic

if you remember that exchange student i had a thing for when i was a junior, i was complaining to him (after he moved back home) about teenage boys. and he was like yeah teenage boys are the worst. and i was like why do that always 'this and that and treat me like this'

and he was like 'well you are a very attractive girl"

and where was the energy the entire ten months he was in america !!

i mean i guess he did kinda tell me that once in like a very subtle way- this girl said i was dressed like a whore (i was wearing a long sleeve shirt and shorts) and i was telling him about it and he was like "i think you look great"

---

so yeah this is a reminder to myself that people do in fact find me very attractive- and i was just too dumb to realize it.

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

27? i feel like you would do that, twink. if yes, i want the WHOLE STORY

ashdahsdkjahsda

yeah

27. Have you ever written a love letter?

I have, it’s actually how i asked out my first gf! i was agonizing over it for a really long time and i eventually figured out that i couldnt do it face to face, and we only had three classes together (which seemed like so little bc i was so in love with them) so we had been writing each other notes for a really long time and exchanging them at lunch or a class we had.

and we both liked saying personal things in those notes and having those deep conversations through them bc its so much easier, so they became our way of telling each other things we couldnt say to the others face

and so one day i gave them our usual daily note, answering whatever they had asked and asking a few things of my own, just carrying on the conversation we were having in those letters

and i then sat down and wrote a full page professing my love to them and it was the cheesiest, sappiest thing you have ever seen, ever and it said things like “I didn’t fall in love with you; I flew” and “Every time I looked you in the eye, I was terrified you would see my affection spilling over, terrified you would run from it” and things like that

and then at the end, i was like “I don’t think I could take a direct yes no maybe answer, so if you like me, too, sing [insert song from the pjo musical we were obsessed with at the time, idr which one], if you dont, sing this, and if you’re not sure, sing this” and it was the last day of school before a week off, so i had a week to, like, recover, bc keep in mind i didnt think they liked me back

and i gave that note to them in our sixth period class and told them to read it after i left and tell me what they thought at the end of the day, two periods (about two hours) later.

and i have no memory of those classes. i was so hung up over this, so scared i would lose them for something i could have kept secret if i tried, and those two hours felt like years, but i dont remember anything that happened

and then i was walking to their locker (i always waited for them at the end of the day) and they came up behind me and tapped my shoulder. and i ignored it bc it was school and i didnt care about whoever wanted to trick me. and they did it again. i ignored it. a third time, and i spun around, angry, stressed, and ready to yell, but it was them and i. completely. froze.

they gave me my letter back, face unreadable, and i nearly cried right then, terrified, but i looked down at it anyway and words like coward and sorry stuck out to me, and i couldnt breathe.

but then i actually read it, their words written on the edges of the paper as i hadnt left any space on the page itself, and it said that they liked me too. and that they were going to tell me before summer break bc they were a coward and that they were sorry they didnt sooner if they’d known how i felt and i was so relieved those words hadnt meant what i thought they meant, and they opened their locker and made a noise for me to look and so i did

and inside the locker was a little whiteboard that said “I like you, too” and we hugged and went to the buses, laughing about how we shouldve known, thinking back to a conversation we had on a field trip where we argued over who would be the dad of the two of us if we were married, and i went to their house over the break and we talked about it, about us, on the trampoline in their backyard, setting boundaries and blushing and glancing back to see if their mom could hear us

and we walked through the halls for two years together, listening to whatever music i was playing on my phone, coming up behind the other and hugging whenever we could, and when they came out as nb, i was the first to know, and when i came out as trans, they were too, and we cried when i tucked my hair into a beanie, and we cried bc we couldnt be as open as we wanted, but we hugged and laughed and smiled and hugged (we hugged a lot) and we never kissed but we didnt need to

and then their parents found out somehow, despite our excessive carefulness, and the pandemic hit, and they moved, and i dont know what we are anymore but i do know this all meant something to them, and it meant something to me, but until its all over, we wont know for sure, i guess. 

and thats all i got! if i tell any more it would be way too much, so have this long and unnecessary snippet of the 🎶Tragic Tale of Tree🎶  and make your own assumptions about who i am as a person, lol. 

thanks for the ask, sorry for the novel! 

(x)

[kevindayprotectionsquad]

A comprehensive list of everything Kevin Day missed out on.

We all know Evermore and Riko fucked up Kevin’s life in more ways than one, but no one talks about what he missed out on. Everyone talks about everything Neil missed out on, but he at least had some normal human interactions. Kevin missed out on so many experiences every kid should have. Such as:

Snack time followed by nap time in elementary 

college Kevin would also appreciate a set nap time (let Kevin sleep)

Recess 

Rock wars on the playground (you cannot tell me that Neil wasn’t one of those kids throwing rocks at people on the playground. I refuse to believe he wasn’t)

Playground games (four square, red rover, freeze tag, telephone, etc)

MONKEY BARS

Field trips 

the colonial farms with petting zoos would be his favorite

The drama of birthday parties 

sleep overs

“Everyone is invited, but only x, y, and z are allowed to stay the night so don’t say anything!”

bouncy castles 

Hawaiian Punch, hot dogs, and birthday cake

Camping on someones trampoline

Staying up past bed time to watch cartoons 

and not immediately regret it

Swimming literally all day in the summer

sunburns and pruny fingers are guaranteed 

having to wait 30 mins after eating before getting back in the pool

not listening to the 30 min rule and getting stomach cramps

TRICK OR TREATING

Kevin was at prime trick or treating age by the time he went to Evermore so its safe to assume he never got to

Getting a puppy or kitten

then getting to grow up with that puppy or kitten!!!!

EMO PHASE

(Although it could be argued all of his raven days were an emo phase)

Passing notes in class

getting caught passing notes in class and having to read the note in front of the class

The flip phone drama

He would be the type of person to dramatically slam it closed after every phone call

Middle school PE

the very first locker room experience for most and not a pleasant one

not knowing how to use the stupid combo locks and making someone else do it for him for a week

the ONE uniform that was supposed to be taken home at the end of every week to be washed but most defiantly wasn't

body spray instead of showers

BRACES

Playing board games 

winning monopoly and everyone hating him and getting the board thrown at him

losing monopoly and hating everyone and throwing the board

Playing group video games

yelling at others through the headset and waking the whole house at 2AM

losing a game being the end of the world

The excitement of getting a week or two off for Thanksgiving and Christmas

just meant more practice time for Kevin

did he even get to celebrate those holidays? probably not

his first time celebrating is with the Foxes and he wont admit it but he loved it

He never got to be a TRUE high school jock

carrying his racquet to every class

wearing his jersey on game day to flex on everyone

be in a pep rally

going to the only restaurant open after a home game with the ENTIRE school

homecoming!  

letterman jackets!!!

The first girlfriend

annnnd the first breakup that may or may not have broke his heart

(the first time he started questioning his sexuality)

Late night drives with his bros

street racing on the back roads

blasting their favorite music

everyone posing like a d-bag with their vehicle

PROM

all the girls fighting over who he would ask

not know who to go with and having a crisis over it

his group pre-gaming on natty lights someone stole from their dads garage

everyone getting sick from shotgunning as much as possible on the way there

SENIOR PRANKS

which may or may not have ended in some slight vandalism of the football field and the exy team having to spend their Thursday night cleaning the field

The stress of college applications

and the pressure to make the summer the best one ever

going to the beach with all his friends for the first time, graduation parties, random trips

packing his entire life into a tiny dorm room

The typical first semester experience 

being so homesick it hurts 

parties, parties, and more parties

getting black out drunk of fireball and waking up in a strange dorm room with no shoes and no memory

(although he gets pretty good at getting black out drunk with Andrew, but he always crashes somewhere familiar and with his shoes)

never being able to even smell fireball again without getting sick 

TAILGATES

more drunk activities this time in broad day light in front of the whole school

the freshman 15 and freshman depression 

Kevin missed out on so much growing up, but he tries to make up for it with the Foxes as he gets more comfortable around them and with being a normal functioning college student. And the Foxes are more than willing to bust out monopoly when Kevin says he has never played.

[hamonsurveysoverdrive]

Abomination

Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? I mean, maybe?

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I don’t know.

Would you take the 3 minute beatdown to be in a gang? No thankssss. Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Absolutely not.

Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before? Justin has been mad at me multiple times lol.

Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? Yes.

How old do you look? Early to mid-20s.

Do you like movie nights? Always.

Is there a trampoline in your backyard? I don’t even have a backyard.

Does the thought of having children scare you? I already have two, so yes, the thought of having more sounds like a nightmare.

Are you nice to everyone? No.

Would you rather date someone older than you or younger? Justin is younger than me.

What will you be doing in the next 2 hours?

Probably driving home.

Who did you talk to on the phone last? Actual talking? I think the kids’ dad.

Does it make you uncomfortable when you receive a compliment? Sometimes.

When you are home alone at night and hear strange noises, are you afraid someone is going to break in? Yes.

Do you wake up cranky? Sometimes.

What is on your wrists right now? A bracelet that says “Redrum” on it.

Are you a beach, country, or city person? City.

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? Yes.

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? No.

Do you like someone? My boyfriend.

Are you happier now or three months ago? Now.

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? Nothing great has really happened.

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? I was 19 when I had my first kid, 22 with my second.

Are you waiting for something? Sure.

If you could change your eye color would you? Maybe to grey.

What was the weather like today? It sunny and nice.

Do you think you’ll be married in ten years? I hope not.

Does your ex still love/like you? Probably.

Are you stubborn? Oh yeah.

Do you tend to hold a grudge? Yes.

Where were you at 9am this morning? In bed.

How has the week been? It went by so fast!

Did you go out or stay in last night? I went to Justin’s house, so I’m not sure if that’s considered going out or staying in lol.

Something you do a lot? Worry.

How many states have you lived in? One.

Can you commit to one person? Yes.

Who was the last person to hold your hand? Justin, or one of my kids.

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? Way too many. Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years? Yes.

What do you miss most about your ex? Nothing.

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Yes.

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? He’s an only child.

Something you really want right now? A million dollars.

How long have you liked the person you like? For about 3-4 years.

Does any part of your body hurt right now? My shoulders and neck, a little.

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? I assume not, since it was just me and him in his garage.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? Now.

Are you happy with the way things are going? Yes.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Yes.

What plans do you have for tomorrow? Nothing in particular, I think.

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn’t? Nope.

Have you ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Yes.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? Yes.

Do you and your last ex hate each other? Nah.

When was the last time you were sick? Like a year ago.

Are you one of those people who are always cold? Not really.

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? Yes.

Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No.

When was the last time you got a haircut? In July.

Did you sing at all today? Yeah.

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? Weather.

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? Yes.

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? Typing.

If you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? I probably wouldn’t go.

In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? Love.

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? Neither?

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? Skinny.

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? No thanks.

When it comes to Baseball would you rather be on the field or in the stands? The stands.

I’ve got to know, who do you prefer: Mario or Luigi? Mario.

Have you ever changed clothes in a public area (not a dressing room)? Yes.

How many months apart is your birthday from your best friends? Kelsi’s birthday is six days before mine, Krystle’s is 6 months before, Needles is 5 months before, Carly’s is 10 months before.

Yes or no: Techno music? Nah.

Yes or no: pigtails? Nah.

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? I think that’s stupid.

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? Yes.

Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yepp.

If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? Probably not.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a letter P? My high school boyfriend’s name was Phillip.

Did you talk to one of your best friends today? What did you talk about? I talked to Justin, Krystle, and Carly.

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? Funny.

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? Yes.

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Yes. Most of my friends are his friends too.

What if you saw your best friend holding hands with your ex? I’d be very, very confused.

Your last relationship, who dumped who? I ended it.

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? 13.

Is your hometown nice? Some parts.

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? Ugh, I’d rather not.

When/where did your last hug take place? Earlier today, at my mom’s house.

Do you consider yourself mature enough to make your own decisions? I’m 31...

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? Yes.

You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Justin.

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? Sure.

Do you think someone has feelings for you? Are these feelings returned? I know my boyfriend does, and obviously they’re returned.

What if the last person you texted were to ask you out? Well, he’s already my boyfriend, so.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Explain. No, that’s dumb.

Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now? If so, where? And why would you prefer to be there? Yes, like, in a room surrounded by millions of dollars, where it’s free for the taking?

When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? Sure.

Can you remember what you dreamt about last night? No.

What’s one thing about today that you didn’t like? Feeling nauseated.

Who is the last person that you said i love you to, besides family members? Probably Justin.

Are you mad at anyone right now? Nope.

Is there one thing all of your ex’s had in common? Sarcastic assholes who can carry a good conversation. And they all have daddy issues.

What’s a compliment you receive often? My eyes, my lips, or my hair.

Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf, and then completely ignored you? Yepp.

Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? No.

Who was the last person to comfort you when you were upset or crying? Probably Justin. Do you prefer to text or talk on the phone? Text.

Do you know anyone that’s gotten an abortion before? Yes.

Do you think you could forgive someone for cheating on you? Not anymore.

Have you ever been arrested? Yes.

Who’s the last person that gave you roses? Justin.

Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? No. What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? NO THANKS.

Do you have a picture of you kissing someone? Yes.

Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? Rey

Have you learned from your past mistakes?

Am I supposed to list everything I’ve ever learned for every mistake I’ve ever made, or...?

Who’s the last guy you texted? Justin... jesus this whole survey is becoming about him.

What about the last girl? Krystle & Kelsi in a group text.

Who was the last person to make you cry? Myself.

Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Sure.

What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person? Honesty.

When was your first real relationship? Well, I don’t really count high school relationships as real relationships, so I guess when I was 20.

Have you ever cried over an ex? Yes.

Do you ever think about your ex and cry? Not anymore.

Is there anyone in your life who you won’t ever want to lose? Of course?? Have you ever snuck out of your house? Not really, no.

Have you ever snuck someone into your house? Nope.

Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes.

How many people have you kissed? Way too many to try and count.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done on a dare? Idk

Have you ever cussed someone out? Yes.

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yes.

Have you ever had a friend-with-benefits? Yes. Have you ever spread a nasty rumor about someone? Not intentionally.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Supposedly.

Have you ever been physically abused? Yes.

What’s something you really regret saying to someone? Nothing.

Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? I don’t think so.

Does it take a lot to make you feel guilty? No.

Have you ever broken a really important promise? Probably.

Have you ever gone out with a best friend’s ex? Yes.

Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend? Yes.

Have you ever cheated on a test? No, but I’ve helped others cheat.

Have you ever told someone’s deep, dark secret? No.

Do you ever lie to make yourself sound better? Not really.

Have you ever made up a false rumor to get back at someone? No.

Have you ever gotten in a fist fight? No.

Have you ever purposely hurt yourself? Yes.

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? Yes. Got sent to an alternative school because of it lol

Have you ever caused someone major embarrassment? Not major, no.

Have you ever pushed someone into a pool? Yes.

Have you ever got in a fight with someone and never made up? Yes.

Have you ever farted and blamed it on someone else? Yes lol

Have you ever copied someone else’s homework? Yes.

Have you ever skipped school to do something more fun? Yes.

Have you ever skipped school to get out of a test? No.

Have you ever kissed someone the same day you met them? Yes.

What’s under your bed? The banisters that are supposed to go on my bed, the ceiling fan is in the way.

What’s on that way top shelf or in the very far back of your closet? Games.

Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what’s in it? No.

Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about? Nope.

What is your last thought before you fall asleep? It varies.

Have you ever you shop lifted? Yes, in my angsty youth.

[itonlyhappenstome]

Coronavirus UK Lockdown Homeschooling Day 2

Well we survived day 1, and day 2 started with Home Economics as mummy was too hungover from surviving day 1 to get up and make breakfast… But we survived! Mentally and physically! And I think we can ask no more really!

I think I can already predict/see a pattern starting in my new schedule, suppress the anxiety and panic and urge to scream until 3pm and then start the countdown to having a drink.

Firstly every day put the new bottles of Tonic water in the fridge and refill the ice cube trays ready for drink o clock.

Try to not check your multiple whats app groups too often and compare yourself to how other parents are doing it. As the cracks are starting to show with everyone… And you can guarantee if you are feeling like you may have a mental breakdown — then others are feeling it also, and they are mostly acting how they want to feel or what they want others to think they are feeling and doing. So do not depress yourself further at this stage by even pretending you have to pretend or compete if you cannot mentally cope, you have nothing to prove to anyone.

But we are all united and completely the same in that we are all just trying our best and doing our best — and 100% in that we are all aligned, and in this together. There is no manual for this shit, there is no precedent for this situation, the only experience we have to go on are for people maybe days or weeks ahead of us. They are our future…

Lockdown coronavirus future prediction

So yesterday, Day 1, I tried, I really did, and I have had reflection on the day… And it started so well with so much enthusiasm. We were ready for the Joe Wicks work out at 9am, and the children nearly did a whole 4 minutes before moaning. We then did maths, english, reading, writing, educational games, encouragement and even a bit of gardening. And then I realised it was only 11am and the children wanted lunch, we had gone through all of the stuff I had planned — and I was actually desperately praying to need a Poo just so I could sit in a room with a locked door alone for 5 minutes — albeit with the kids sat outside asking me how long I would be.

By 4pm I said through gritted teeth to my husband “Take them out. Please. I need just 30 minutes peace” and he replied “But we are on lockdown, I cannot take them out!” To which I responded through gritted teeth “We live in a sodding tiny village. Find. A. Fucking. Isolated. Field. JUST. GO. NOW” and he left looking a bit scared.

It is really hard for couples to be together, the whole dynamic of the house, work, jobs, life is on its head. And I know we are only hours into the lockdown, but we are on the “Coronavirus upward curve of irritation” here in the marital sense. My husband has already made the following comments “Wow I never realised or noticed your stomach digested food so loudly…” and also “Crikey, you swallow and yawn so loudly, its making me shudder, can you stop that?” Forget rising birth rates, Divorce and spousal violence is going to go through the roof!!

But anyway that was Day 1 in retrospect, and we are now on Day 2. The eldest is a super star and sticking to her schedule, the youngest two started at 11am (when I say started I mean I locked them in the garden on the trampoline in a sort of baby Thunderdome way) and they have ramped up the arguing to violence, even balloons on sticks had to be confiscated as god only knows what we would do if a trip was needed to A&E.

I made it into clothes just before lunchtime. It has helped being selective with information I have read about all of this, and going with humour, and finding friends who are on the same level of admittance that they are struggling with this mentally.

And it’s great the way life evolves, already my evening social calendars are filling up with whatsapp and video Quiz nights and wine bar style events. And it is bringing out the best in the community with everyone helping each other. There is indeed a positive in everything, we all just need to keep our chin up (or chins, in my case as I have already started on the kids Easter eggs and the Gym is shut).

I say that in a slightly hysterical clutching at straws way of course!

Anyone know of a nice hotel thats still open?!?

This afternoon we went on our once daily outing (I am sure it is advised that dogs go outside and exercise more…) paranoid about meeting anyone and 1) being judged for being out and 2) wondering how we were going to stop the children flinging themselves at friends and 3) Did we actually know how far 2 metres was visually and should we have bought a tape measure.

Simple pleasures, the children found a massive boggy swamp, so this afternoons lesson when we got back was learning how to get the washing machine going.

We were also worried about running out of guinea pig food so went picking dandelions — which as now as I type has occurred to me are probably covered in pesticides and dog piss, bloody distracted by virus and taking my eye off the ball for anything else!

We combined schooling with the walk and made them run around to work in PE as we were too hungover (adults, not the kids I hasten to add) at 9am to face Joe. And then made them spell everything we saw “Mud” “Grass” “Dirt” “Bird” “Dog Shit” , “rubbish”- all the stuff you find in English nature!

And that is Day 2 done. I have realised that as long as I lower my expectations then every day is a winner and reduces the panic and self loathing!

I have also realised that myself and everyone else in the world has to compulsively end every message of any medium with “Stay Safe”. This is all a fascinating social experiment that I am sure will be ponderised over for years to come!

[purplesurveys]

589

Have you ever been served breakfast in bed? Sure. When we don’t feel like having breakfast at the table together as a family, my mom just brings up food for us when we wake up. What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? I don’t cook or bake at all but back when we had to do it in home ec, I remember how hard macarons were to make (if this counts). Baking in general demands precision, it’s just that the skill needed to make macarons is pumped up to the max. Are you one to approach others, or let them approach you first? I let people approach me because I’m shy most of the time. When was the last time you took painkillers? Saturday. My toothaches struck once again and I didn’t want to be burdened while at dinner with Gab, so I had to take a painkiller for the second time that day. Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else's garden without asking? No. That’s kind of a dick move.

Who did you give them to, or did you keep them for yourself? What is your favorite thing to do as a little kid? I loved being allowed to play outside. My grandma was very strict with us and would sometimes not allow us to go outside and play with our neighbors – if we were allowed, we only could from 4 to 6 PM. So whenever we got to go out and play it was always really fun, even though I almost always went home sporting a new gash, cut, or wound. Then when we came back home, Nickelodeon would usually have an awesome program schedule, followed by changing the channel to Cartoon Network at 7 so we could watch Pokemon, then we’d flick the channel to Disney because Mr. Bean airs around 9 PM. Are holidays as fun for you now as they were when you were younger? I looked forward to holidays more when I was a kid because it was before a bunch of my relatives migrated to different countries. It’s never the same without them, which is often the case these days. Do you find non-fiction to be boring? I find fictional works to be boring, but I can spend hours reading non-fiction content. Are you a punctual person? Or are you always late? Yes, I hate being late.  Do you own a thesaurus? Do you actually use it? I owned a thesaurus because I had to back in grade school, but I’m not sure if I actually ever threw it out or not. Nowadays Google can easily be a thesaurus if I need it for that purpose. What is the longest essay or research paper you have written? It was our final paper for my communication research class last semester. If I remember correctly, it has about 90 pages.  Do you ever write your own short stories? I tried doing it when I was 12 or 13, but I didn’t find it fun. Also I was never creative enough for it and got bored real quick. I envy people who can write very good short stories. Have you ever won money by entering a contest/raffle? Raffles are a Filipino favorite and we have a lot of them, so yeah I’ve won some cash here and there. Have you ever lost something very valuable? Of course. The first valuable thing I ever lost was my first ever cellphone, given to me as a 7th birthday gift by my parents; I lost it while on a school field trip. I’ve always felt bad about that. Have you ever lost something with a lot of sentimental value? In high school, I lost a watch that my mom gave me. It was a super pretty watch and again, I haaaaated myself when I realized I had misplaced it.   Have you ever been close to drowning? Yes. When I was nine, my cousins and I went for a swim in our clubhouse’s pool. I was swimming at the deep end – which I normally could handle by myself – but suddenly one of my cousins grabbed at my legs which kept me from being able to lift my head above water because it felt like I was being dragged further down. Have you ever had a panic attack? Yes. I haven’t had one in a couple of years though, so I guess that’s good. What stores do you go into when you go to mall? I’m not a big store person when I go malling, but when I do stop by shops, it’s usually stationery stores, bookstores, or stores that sell cute novelty stuff like weird coasters, flasks, alarm clocks, etc. Do you ever stop to eat in the food court? Only if we want a quick snack to get by, like shawarma or corndogs. As much as possible I like eating in sitdown restaurants. Do you find it easy to relate to other people? These days, yeah. I’ll admit that when I was younger, I used to put a premium on being ‘not like other teenagers’ BAHAHAHAHA YUCK, but tbh there’s no shame in being able to relate to many others in terms of music or TV shows or other similar interests. It helps me gain friends, which is always a plus. Who is your favorite philosopher? I hate philosophy more than anything else in this planet. What is your favorite song to sing? OMG Thinking of You by Katy Perry easily takes the cake for this one. Do you consciously try to be unique, or do you just be you? I’m just me for the most part. Do you worry about being judged by other people? Sometimes, but it’s usually for stuff like having to borrow a pen in class, or having to ask for a piece of yellow pad – basically stuff that would make people think I was irresponsible haha. If someone doesn't like you, do you usually want to know the reason? Yes, just out of curiosity. But I wouldn’t feel like it’s the end of the world if I never got to know why. When was the last time you told someone something really important? A couple of weeks ago; I had to tell Gab I passed out quietly for a few minutes in the restroom in the middle of PE. The workout was too difficult and I didn’t have my water bottle with me that day, so I felt queasy quickly. Have you ever lost a large amount of money? Thankfully, no. The only time I lost my wallet, there was only around ₱600 in it. Have you ever tried to blame something you did on someone else? I mostly did it when I was a kid and blamed my little sister or brother for something. Did that person get in trouble, or did the plan fail? Failed, obviously.

What is the weirdest hairstyle you have ever had? I never went with weird hairstyles but my worst look will always be rebonded hair. I have a square face with a very strong jaw; completely straight hair has never suited me. Describe the ugliest pair of shoes you own? I don’t think I’ve ever allowed myself to wear shoes I thought were ugly, haha. How many times a day do you look in the mirror? For how long? Maybe a few times. Once before I leave the house, then maybe one or two times from my webcam just so I know how I currently look while in school, then again when I get home. Are you ashamed to leave the house when not looking your best? Not ashamed, just uncomfortable. If you are antisocial, WHY are you that way? That’s a legitimate personality disorder and I prefer we didn’t throw that word around like it’s nothing. Are you modest? Well I used to be, back when I was in Catholic school. I still hold some traditional sentiments here and there but I wouldn’t call myself modest. What is your favorite singer? Beyonce or Hayley Williams, for sure. If you could relive one day from last year, what day would it be? Why? April 21, 2018! It was my birthday and my first time driving out of town by myself. Gab and I went to Nasugbu for a day trip to the beach and Tagaytay for dinner. It was soooooo so fun even though we were exhausted afterwards and I was fighting to keep my eyes open while driving by that evening.   What is something that you are afraid to fail at? Something I’m supposed to be really good at, like writing. What would happen if you did fail at it? I’d feel insecure for a long time and for that period, no one would be able to encourage me and make me feel better. Do you ever worry about your loved ones dying? Ever since my grandpa and now Nacho passed away, yes. What is the cutest thing a guy could do for a girl? The cutest thing anyone* can do for anyone* is making time for them, I guess. I’m not very picky when it comes to showing love. Stuffed animals--immature, or should everyone have one? Neither. I don’t mind them but I don’t hate them. What do you like in your breakfast burritos? I don’t think I’ve ever had a breakfast burrito. What restaurant would you choose to go to for breakfast? Rustic Mornings, La Creperie, or Eggs For Breakfast! How much money do you think you cost your parents? Millions. Do you have good hand/eye coordination? Only when it comes to table tennis. I generally wouldn’t call myself skilled at catching stuff. Can you do a flip on a trampoline? I haven’t tried, and I think I’d be too scared to anyway. Do you remember the last time you climbed a tree? I don’t think I’ve ever climbed a tree...most trees here are riddled with red ants. Did you ever lie on your back and pick shapes out of clouds as a kid? Sure, but I didn’t do it all the time nor does it feel nostalgic to me. Do you watch any Japanese anime? Other than watching Pokemon when I was a kid, no. Is there a foreign culture you are interested in learning more about? I’m always interested in learning all foreign cultures. Do you let your emotions get the best of you in a fight? Sometimes. Do you know anyone whose reputation has recently been ruined? That’s what happened to Nach. It’s why I was always more gentle in dealing with him than everyone else, because I knew just how damaged his rep was after what happened. I didn’t want to add to that anymore. When did you first get a cellphone? I got my first one on my 7th birthday. Do you have your own laptop computer? Yes. How about your own digital computer? Like...a cellphone or calculator? I guess, yeah lmao. Do you drive your own car, or your parents? I’ve been given my own car for me to drive, but my parents bought it and own it. Say something inappropriate? Cunt. Always been my least favorite bad word. What were you doing before you started taking this survey? I washed the dishes. Describe the best summer you ever had? I don’t like my summers. It’s not a part of the year I look fondly on. Do you eat any meat other than turkey on Thanksgiving? I don’t celebrate that holiday. Did you attend a pre-school? My only other school apart from UP has a preschool, elementary, and high school. I studied there for 14 years. We also have a college, but it’s in our Makati campus.  Do you remember what it was like to learn to count to 100? Not really. What is something you lost in the process of growing up? The concept of looking to my mom if I have any problems. Do you wear any wristbands? If so, what's on them? Nope, I do not. What was the last picture you were in? We took a family photo over lunch yesterday. Did you have required reading material in high-school? We had required reading material from Prep all the way to senior year in high school. Do you keep your room organized? I try to. It becomes messy slowly over time but I always end up tidying my room. Do you vacuum daily? I don’t. How many board games do you own? A couple. I have Scrabble, Pictionary, and Trivial Pursuit. Own any books? ...Of course. Recently checked any books out from the library? Nah that was about a month ago. I recently returned a (overdue) book though. Does your cat give you kitty kisses? My dog gives me a single lick to the face whenever I come home from school. What’s in your make-up bag? I don’t have one.

[lalka-laski]

Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Oh yes, especially in Glenn’s family. Those hugs last for eternity!

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? No way. My collar bones are my favorite body part so I want them to stay front and center. 

Would you take the 3 minute beatdown to be in a gang? Uh no Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Most of the time. Although that doesn’t mean I reply right away...

Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before? She’s my sister so I mean, of course. 

Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? Mhm! I don’t know why that’s so fun for some reason 

How old do you look? Definitely much younger than I am. Maybe early 20′s tops.

Do you like movie nights? Love them! Just this past weekend Kathleen, Allie & I watched all three Hallowteen movies (accompanied by loads of snacks) and it was a blast! 

Is there a trampoline in your backyard? Nope

Does the thought of having children scare you? Well, sure. I worry about the potential complications and of course, all the hardships of pregnancy, delivery and parenting. But the prospect excites me just the same! 

Are you nice to everyone? I think so. I’ve been told that even when I try to be mean, I’m nice. 

Would you rather date someone older than you or younger? Well Glenn is 12 years older than me, so...

Are you excited for anything happening in the next week? Quite a lot! We have a fun-filled week. Tonight we have a bonfire with Glenn’s cousin, tomorrow we have dinner with his two friends, Thursday we have dinner with my sister, her new boyfriend & my parents, and then Saturday we’re attending his sister’s gig! Busy bees! 

What will you be doing in the next 2 hours? I’ll be here at work for the next 9ish hours. I foresee a LOT of surveys in my future...

Who did you talk to on the phone last? A client 

Does it make you uncomfortable when you receive a compliment? I thrive on compliments. Just one “small” compliment can have me beaming for the rest of the day. 

When you are home alone at night and hear strange noises, are you afraid someone is going to break in? UH YES. 

Do you wake up cranky? Almost always, yep. I just love my sleep! 

What is on your wrists right now? Nothing.

Are you a beach, country, or city person? Hmm.. I guess I’m more suited for city living but I still love me a good day at the beach! The country is not quite my cup of tea though. 

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? We are an ENGAGED couple, in fact :) 

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? Never ever. I never thought I’d have this kind of love and I certainly never thought I’d have this ring on my finger! But here we are. 

Do you like someone? Ha, you might say that :P 

Are you happier now or three months ago? NOW! 

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? Well, it’s only 7:23 am and all I’ve done today is get up and come to work. Not much “greatness” happening here.

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? Well, I’m going to be 30-31 when I get married & I anticipate kids a couple years after that. 

Are you waiting for something? I want to say I’m waiting for this day to be over but it’s way too early to even mention that. Sigh... 

If you could change your eye color would you? I love my eye color, actually. It’s one of the few features on myself that I *wouldn’t* change. 

What was the weather like today? So far it’s a crisp, fall day. My ideal weather! 

Do you think you’ll be married in ten years? I can confidently say I WILL be. 

Does your ex still love/like you? I know one of them has feelings for me but that’s not my problem. 

Are you stubborn? Just the opposite, actually. I’m too easily swayed. 

Do you tend to hold a grudge? Now that I can do! 

Where were you at 9am this morning? It’s only 7:30 now, so yes I will be. 

How has the week been? Pretty damn wonderful! Well, aside from my digestive issues and the puking I did last night and this morning. 

Did you go out or stay in last night? We went out for Moe’s and then spent the rest of the night cozy at home. 

Something you do a lot? Worry

How many states have you lived in? Just one

Can you commit to one person? I am currently, and will be for the rest of my life 

Who was the last person to hold your hand? Glenn

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? Probably way too many. I can be a bit of a pushover and a self-blamer.  Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years? I know so 

What do you miss most about your ex? Not one single thing. Funnily enough, I just had a convo with Glenn last night about how I don’t understand what the appeal of my last relationship was. Nothing about it was good. 

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? I sure am! 

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? He’s an extremely skilled musician, martial artist and acupuncturist. Yeah, I got me a well-rounded man!

Something you really want right now? I wouldn’t mind being home and back in bed

How long have you liked the person you like? About 3 years, give or take! 

Does any part of your body hurt right now? My tummy, slightly 

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? Nope

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? Right now 

Are you happy with the way things are going? ABSOLUTELY 

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Of course. After all, we are engaged. Have I mentioned that?? I will never stop mentioning that! 

What plans do you have for tomorrow? I have the day off from work so I’m hoping to do a little laundry and cleaning, then Glenn and I have dinner with some friends. 

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn’t? Not recently 

Have you ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Mhm. But now I see that it all served a greater purpose.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? Not a KISS kiss

Do you and your last ex hate each other? I don’t care for him but I don’t think I’d say I HATE him. Although I’d be entirely justified if I did.

When was the last time you were sick? Well I puked a little bit this morning so uh.. does that count? 

Are you one of those people who are always cold? I’m always overheated 

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? Nah, I’m pretty good with my money

Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Ohhhh yes

When was the last time you got a haircut? A few months ago. I’m overdue! 

Did you sing at all today? Not as of yet.

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? The weather 

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? Nope, that’s not really my style. 

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? I’m freakishly fast at both 

If you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? I’d go just for the experience! Besides, I’m comfortable with nudity.

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? They’re not my style but I don’t think they’re trashy. They can look cool on the right person. 

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? Skinny jeans/jeggings ONLY

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? I don’t have the figure to be a ballerina so I guess I’d choose break dancer? Ha, could you imagine! 

When it comes to Baseball would you rather be on the field or in the stands? In the stands, no doubt. Baseball games are actually quite fun! 

I’ve got to know, who do you prefer: Mario or Luigi? No preference 

Have you ever changed clothes in a public area (not a dressing room)? Many a time

How many months apart is your birthday from your best friends? I have several best friends. And actually, a few of them have birthdays very close to mine. 

Yes or no: Techno music? Nah

Yes or no: pigtails? On a little kid? Sure. But on myself? Creepy 

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? This pink sapphire and diamond band on my finger are my new best friends! 

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? Mhm 

Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? I do daily

If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? No way. I could never handle the scrutiny, the criticism and the lack of privacy. 

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a letter P? I don’t think so actually

Did you talk to one of your best friends today? What did you talk about? I’m talking to my sister right now 

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? Eh, that’s hard to say

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? I have them even when it’s not the time of the month

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? A lot of them have but there’s still several who have yet to meet him. We’re hoping to have an engagement party so everyone can do so there! 

What if you saw your best friend holding hands with your ex? None of my friends would ever 

Your last relationship, who dumped who? He dumped me. But it turned out to be a great blessing! 

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? I was 17 when I had my first actual relationship 

Is your hometown nice? I think so. It’s considered one of the “shoddier” suburbs of my city but I love it and much prefer it to the wealthier suburb that I moved to as a teen. 

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? He’s my fiance so I’d be more than ok with that. (I’d need him there to keep me calm, actually) 

When/where did your last hug take place? Yesterday in my bedroom 

Do you consider yourself mature enough to make your own decisions? You would think at my age I would be buuuut, it’s questionable

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? I actually don’t know as much about their lives before us as I’d like to. They’re both kind of reserved with that information. 

You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Kathleen, I’m sure 

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? Way too many 

Do you think someone has feelings for you? Are these feelings returned? I have a pretty good feeling Glenn does ;)

What if the last person you texted were to ask you out? That would be disturbing on multiple levels

Do you believe in love at first sight? Explain. I believe in fate so I do think you can feel a life-changing connection with someone just from locking eyes for the first time. But that’s just me. 

Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now? If so, where? And why would you prefer to be there? I’d like to be in bed. But when don’t I? 

Can you remember what you dreamt about last night? I remember some snippets of it

What’s one thing about today that you didn’t like? I don’t like waking up this early and I certainly don’t like vomiting on my way into work. 

Who is the last person that you said i love you to, besides family members? Glenn 

Are you mad at anyone right now? Nope

Is there one thing all of your ex’s had in common? Not really. I’ve dated quite a range of dudes and have never had a particular “type” 

What’s a compliment you receive often? That I’m sweet and kind 

Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf, and then completely ignored you? When we were young and didn’t know how to balance relationships and friendships

Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? NOT A CHANCE

Who was the last person to comfort you when you were upset or crying? Glenn. I had a panic attack last Saturday and he was so gentle and reassuring. He gives me all the time and space I need to feel better.  Do you prefer to text or talk on the phone? Texting all day 

Do you know anyone that’s gotten an abortion before? Uh huh

Do you think you could forgive someone for cheating on you? I stupidly have before. I’d like to go back in time and smack my younger self upside the head!

Have you ever been arrested? Nope

Who’s the last person that gave you roses? I actually don’t think I’ve ever received roses. 

Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? No way What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? Well we plan to in a few years time

Do you have a picture of you kissing someone? Mhm

Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? Who knows. We got a flood of comments on our engagement posts/pics. 

Have you learned from your past mistakes? Hardly ever. But wouldn’t it be great if I did? 

Who’s the last guy you texted? Glenn 

What about the last girl? Kathleen 

Who was the last person to make you cry? Glenn, although they of course were happy tears

What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person? Compassion

When was your first real relationship? Didn’t I just answer this? 

Have you ever cried over an ex? That’s pretty much all I do when I’m going through a breakup 

Do you ever think about your ex and cry? Not anymore. I look back with gratitude (and some confusion). 

Is there anyone in your life who you won’t ever want to lose? All of my loved ones  Have you ever snuck out of your house? Yep 

Have you ever snuck someone into your house? Sort of 

Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yep 

How many people have you kissed? I’ve never counted 

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done on a dare? I almost always choose “truth.” Not that I have played Truth or Dare recently by any means 

Have you ever cussed someone out? Yep 

Have you ever had a friend-with-benefits? Yep Have you ever spread a nasty rumor about someone? No, but I have been on the receiving end of that

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? So I’ve been told 

Have you ever been physically abused? Arguably 

Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? Hm, there’s at least one other person who knows about all the bad shit I’ve done 

Does it take a lot to make you feel guilty? Not at all 

Have you ever broken a really important promise? Yes

Have you ever gone out with a best friend’s ex? No way

Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend? Yes 

Have you ever cheated on a test? Yes, these questions are boring me 

Have you ever told someone’s deep, dark secret? I don’t think so. I HOPE not. 

Do you ever lie to make yourself sound better? I guess we all have at some point

Have you ever made up a false rumor to get back at someone? Nope 

Have you ever gotten in a fist fight? Nope

Have you ever purposely hurt yourself? Yeah 

Have you ever caused someone major embarrassment? I’m sure I have 

Have you ever pushed someone into a pool? I don’t think so. Maybe as a kid 

Have you ever got in a fight with someone and never made up? I don’t think I have any lingering bad blood with anyone. But who knows

Have you ever copied someone else’s homework? I’m sure at some point

Have you ever skipped school to do something more fun? I wouldn’t say “fun” but I’ve skipped school to stay in bed

Have you ever skipped school to get out of a test? Nope 

Have you ever kissed someone the same day you met them? Yes

What’s under your bed? We have drawers full of clothes and blankets

What’s on that way top shelf or in the very far back of your closet? There’s an assortment of stuff in boxes: mostly seasonal clothes, purses and jewelery that I don’t wear 

Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what’s in it? I do not 

Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about? Uhh kinda 

What is your last thought before you fall asleep? ANXIETY 

Have you ever you shop lifted? Sort of

[junker-town]

The PGA Tour has its own cheating saga that just won’t go away quietly

Patrick Reed and PGA Tour commissioner Jay Monahan in January of 2017. | Photo by Stan Badz/PGA TOUR

Like the Astros and MLB commissioner Rob Manfred, Pat Reed and the PGA Tour continue to be a hot target for criticism months after Reed flagrantly cleaned up his lie and was meekly punished.

Imagine MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred’s only comment on the Astros cheating scandal engulfing his sport was “I believe them” in response to the players’ denial that they promoted, orchestrated, and were fully in on the scheme. Then imagine one of Manfred’s deputies responsible for maintaining a level playing field in the league went out of his way to make sure you knew the Astros were “complete gentlemen” during the investigation of their cheating.

These are the lines we’ve heard on Patrick Reed’s December adventure in the sand from dignitaries at the PGA Tour, the other American professional sport with a cheating scandal thought to be disposed of months ago. At the Tour’s first event of the calendar year, Commissioner Jay Monahan addressed the incident publicly with a defense of Reed. “I’ve had an opportunity to talk to Patrick at length,” he said. “I believe Patrick when he says that [he] did not intentionally improve [his] lie.” Monahan leaned on Slugger White’s (now of “complete gentleman” fame) adjudication and penalty (it’s never “cheating” in the parallel PGA Tour universe) at the tournament and said, “To me, that was the end of the matter.”

It was only the end of the matter for Reed’s scorecard, as we saw this week with the incident bubbling back up thanks to comments from one of the Tour’s marquee players and one of its familiar broadcasting “partners.” First came Brooks Koepka, winner of four of the last 11 major championships and a leader in pro game, directly stating “Yeah” when asked by Sway Calloway if Reed was cheating in the “sand pit” back in December. Then the increasingly acerbic Koepka added, “I don’t know what he was doing, building sand castles in the sand but, you know where your club is. I mean, I took three months off and I can promise you I know if I touched sand.”

Koepka is adding to the chorus of those who play and played the game at the highest level vehemently asserting that there is no credibility to Reed’s “unintentional” defense. There may be in the commissioner’s office, but not among the players in his league. “It’s one of those things where you know, if you look at the video,” Koepka added, “obviously he grazes the sand twice and then he still chops down on it.”

Following Koepka was Peter Kostis, respected swing coach and longtime CBS walking reporter who was let go from the network at the end of last year. Kostis was a man on fire on the No Laying Up podcast, calling out his former employer and the Tour for a variety of issues that he feels illustrate their indifference to the end product on television. But on Reed, he was more pointed and specific, testifying that he’d seen this similar maneuver multiple times in the course of his duties with CBS.

“I’ve seen Patrick Reed improve his lie up close and personal four times now ... You can go on YouTube. It’s the only time I’ve ever shut McCord up, he didn’t know what to say when I said, ‘The lie that I saw originally wouldn’t have allowed for this shot’ ... Because he put four, five clubs behind the ball, kind of faking whether he’s going to hit this shot or that shot — and by the time he hit a freaking 3-wood out of there. Which, when I saw it, it was a sand wedge layup originally, right?”

Kostis went on at length about Reed’s propensity for improving his lie and cited the places he’d seen it happen.

“I saw him, I was in the tower at 16 at San Diego on the par-3 during a Golf Channel telecast and he hit over the green, and he did the same thing. Put three or four clubs behind and it was really a treacherous shot. Nobody had gotten it close all day long from over there. And by the time he was done, I could read ‘Callaway’ on the golf ball from the tower. There was another incident at Hartford and another incident at San Diego. I was there, and I saw them all.”

As we’ve seen with the avalanche of MLB player comments from spring training sites across the league and with the near-unanimous mockery of Manfred in recent weeks, the absence of what’s perceived as sufficient punishment has only prolonged the matter. Like the Astros scandal, the outcry over the limited punishment for Reed feels like the easy vessel to holler about the Tour for a variety of underlying issues. He was already a polarizing figure. This is red-handed video evidence. The punishment was minimal and larded up with laughable quotations about class and gentlemanliness. Let’s yell about all the ways the Tour failed here and is failing elsewhere.

We’re closing in on three months since the original incident and the commentary continues to trickle out well beyond just the immediate embarrassment at the Presidents Cup that followed the week after Reed’s excavation. There, International team member Cam Smith used the word cheating, for which he was admonished by the PGA Tour. If you are more offended by Cam Smith calling it cheating than your are the actual cheating, then we’re starting in a very bad place. Team USA members also seemed to make light of their teammate’s misstep and adamantly stated it was behind them. This happened before Reed made sure it was not behind them, mocking hecklers by mimicking a shovel move during a match he lost and before his caddie (also his brother-in-law) hauled off and punched another heckler. Reed was heckled again in his first start back on U.S. soil, a typically subdued vacation of an event on Maui.

Photo by Stan Badz/PGA TOUR via Getty Images

Reed scooping away some sand in a low-stake December tournament is not an existential threat to the PGA Tour, so you can almost understand the commissioner’s line that it was the “end of the matter.” While it’s odd that the Tour tripped over themselves to staunchly defend the honor of Patrick Reed, someone with a history of sketchiness and not exactly a marketing whale for the PGA Tour, there were issues of far greater concern to get to for the commissioner, like fending off an avalanche of Saudi cash trying to poach his league’s best players. You may think the Reed’s cheating has been a stain on the game and illuminated a host of issues with PGA Tour management. But it seems fairly obvious from this that Monahan does not view “protecting the game” as a job priority. Protecting his specific league’s business interests and its members, who he ultimately answers to, are the priorities. Get your TV rights cash and leave the other holistic greater good stuff to the USGA, Augusta, and others. It’s similar to what Michael Baumann at The Ringer wrote of Manfred this week, “One thing that’s become crystal clear as this scandal has unfolded: Manfred’s job is not to look out for the sport.”

That Presidents Cup setting, while adversarial, may have been the softest of landings Reed could have hoped for among his peers, who were teammates that felt compelled to either defend or turn a blind eye. Since then, his teammate that week, Bryson DeChambeau came out and said “Yes, he cheated” on a Fortnite Twitch stream, a forum not exactly subject to the Tour’s PR guardrails. And then Koepka added his opinion on the matter this week, adding that he’s seen this happen with other players at other times on Tour.

This seems like a more significant issue for the Tour than a single incident in the Bahamas from a guy used to playing the villain. Kostis is saying he’s seen it multiple times from Reed (some of which we have video evidence for) and Koepka is saying he’s seen it out on Tour from others but kept his mouth shut.

This is a league running into the warm embrace of legalized gambling and perhaps here’s where the punishment of Reed, or lack thereof, could become more of problem than just negative PR the Tour can weather. They’re licensing all their Shotlink data for gambling purposes and are set to collect buckets of more cash. Gambling is going to become part of its culture and DNA. Now you’re answering to more than just your members when it comes to a level playing field and disclosure of information. After this nagging Reed drama that won’t go away, what happens the next time someone is caught fluffing their lie? What if it’s not on camera but just alleged from a playing partner? What happens if it’s Reed again or someone with a cleaner reputation? Has the reaction to this from players like Koepka changed the way this will be handled in the future? Two shots did not seem enough in December and it doesn’t seem enough in the future. Right now, as both Kostis and Koepka illustrated this week, it feels like those safeguards are not fully in place in a clear way.

The rules of golf are full of mind-numbing and counter-intuitive inanities but everything branches out from the simple core starting point of “play it as it lies.” It’s a basic tenet like a hitter not knowing the exact pitch that’s coming. So if you’re betting on the PGA Tour you’d want to know that it’s a level playing field and those who deliberately and repeatedly alter their lies might be punished for it. Or, for instance, that players’ drivers are being consistently and regularly tested for trampoline effects over legal limits (there is still no real oversight for this). The Reed saga, and this is part of the reason why it’s still a topic months later, has left the Tour with the air of a place where the rules are not a priority or, at best, are not clearly defined.

[ask-the-phan-site]

Phan Cam presents: Game Corner Central with Mario, Peach, Sonic, & Tails

Happy New Years, everyone! This is your announcer, Toad, speaking to you from the ever charming Castle Toadstool at the heart of the Mushroom Kingdom! And welcome to Game Corner Central. Let’s welcome are hosts for this most special edition!

Chao, everybody! It’sa me, Mario!

And I’m Princess Peach Toadstool, Sovereign Ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Yo, Sonic’s my name and speed’s my game.

And I’m Miles Prower, but you can call me Tails.

Peach: Today, we have some very guests with us. Their leader fought with us in the game, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

Tails: And not too long ago, they helped some of our friends.

Sonic: That’s right, everyone, we’ve got with us, the one, the only...

Phantom Thieves of Hearts!

>With that, we come in the castle studio.

Thank you, all...

Though, I’m not sure how we got here. All we remember was coming out of the diner to welcome Violet back from her trip only to be shoved into a van...

Peach: (gasping) Details, details. Now, we brought you here to interview you.

A chance to get interviewed by some legendary video game characters? When is that gonna happen again? Count me in!

Same here. A chance to spend some time with my favorite Mario character, Peach is probably the best last minute Christmas present I could ever ask for.

Peach: (happy) I’m glad to hear that. Now, as you probably know, we just released a game sometime around the same time as the release of a game of yours, Persona 5 Royal. That’s right, we’re talking about Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020!

Tails: As you know, the real Olympic Games really is taking place in Tokyo in the summer of 2020. And you guys live in Tokyo.

Mario: So we would like to ask...

What would the Phantom Thieves do in the 2020 Summer Olympic Games?

Peach: Well, that’s what we’re going to find out!

Tails: But first, a word from our sponsors.

Hello, Knuckles the Echidna here. Is being an archaeologist not what you expected? Starting to realize just how boring digs can be? Making you wish you could just hang up the shovel and hardhat for good? You want your next expedition to be more exciting? You want action and adventure? To see sights many can only dream about? Well, look no further and starting looking up to...

Knuckles’s School of Great Finds and Exploration

That’s right! At the reasonable price of 50 Rings a month, I can teach you how to find treasures you never knew even existed. Find lost riches that you can’t find be normal means. Why use an ordinary shovel and pick axe? Each new students gets a free pair of Shovel Claws.

This special tool will let you dig through just about anything, expect stone and steel. And, we’ll give you a notebook to help track all of your finds. And, we’ll even through in an Adventurer’s Hat, Vest, and Coat. If you don’t believe me? Let’s hear what some of my best students have to say.

Before I met Knuckles, my digs didn’t exactly get me the results I hoped for. In fact, it nearly got me killed. But then I met Knuckles and he showed me a little more than what can be learned at any university. Now I’m finding treasures left and right with little problems at all.

I never much had an interest in archaeology before. But when I went to Knuckle’s School, even someone as young as me has become quite a pro at it. I like the hat, too. Thanks, Knuckle’s School of Great Finds and Exploration!

Knuckles: So don’t wait for your next adventure, come find it here at Knuckle’s School of Great Finds and Exploration! Located at the Master Emerald Shrine on Angel Island.

Peach: Welcome back to Game Corner Central. Let’s begin our interviews. First up, the leader of the Phantom Thieves, Joker.

Joker: Thank you, Your Highness.

Tails: So, Joker, what sports would you take up in the Olympics?

Joker: Well, at first guess it would have to be shooting. Particularly in pistol. But I’m thinking of giving other sports a try. Like cycling, especially BMX. Also, a trip to Hawaii got me into surfing. And let’s not leave out weightlifting and wrestling. And let’s not forget swimming, baseball, and golf. I’d also like to try out the decathlon. And recently, I got into skateboarding.

Sonic: So basically, you wanna try out for all of them.

Joker: Not really. I know I’m not that good at basketball, unlike Oracle. And for personal reasons...

We’re staying out of volleyball.

Tails: Well, it’s not surprise. Someone at your school was arrested and his sport is volleyball. He was your also your very first target.

Joker: I know. But don’t think we hate the sport. Heck, some of us are still going for it, but that’s another interview with another thief.

Peach: I see. You know, most of us already good with other sports in the Olympics. I’m sure you and your friends might be good.

Mario: That’sa true. Just look at me. I’m good with all sports.

Joker: That’s cool. I guess I could try all those sports as well.

Mario: And I hope we would face off again soon. Whether it be in Smash Bros. or in the Olympics.

I’ll look forward to it.

Sonic: (smiling) Same here. You’re actually quite fast... But not as fast as me.

Peach: Alright, on to the next thief. Next up is the muscles of the group, Skull.

All right! My turn is up!

Sonic: Now from what I’ve heard, you used to be quite the runner.

Skull: You bet. I used to be a member of my school’s track team. So I guess when it comes to the Olympics, track ‘n field would be my first choice. But I’d really like to try other stuff.

Peach: And that’s what we would like to know. What would you do at the Olympics other than track?

Skull: I really like to try shotgun shootin’. I also like to do sailin’, karate, and field hockey. Like Joker, I'm also interested in baseball. And maybe basketball. There’s also hammer throwin’, discus throwin’, swimmin’, water polo, table tennis, and skateboardin’. I’m even thinkin’ of givin’ fencin’ a try.

Tails: That’s a lot. And what about soccer? With your legs already somewhat strong, you look like you might be good at it.

Skull: Actually, I never thought of that. All right, I’ll give it a try.

Tails: And about skateboarding, I guess we can try that together. Right, Sonic?

Sonic: Well, it’s a little different than Extreme Gear Racing, but it’s just as good.

I’ve heard of Extreme Gear. I wish I could try that.

Sonic: (smiling) Maybe someday you will.

Skull: I was never really good a skateboardin’ at first. I have a board, but I don’t think I ever used it. It’s just sittin’ next to my shelf. But when I saw Joker skateboardin’ and a friend of mine made somethin’ similar to Gear, I thought I’d give it another try. He helped me, of course, and now I’m actually good at it.

Sonic: Then I’ll look forward to having a session with you... Not that you have a chance knowing my speed.

We’ll see about that. Yer on.

Peach: Wow, that sounds just fantastic. I should get in on that action as well. But right now, it’s time for another word from our sponsors. We’ll be back to talk more with Panther and Fox.

Hi, everyone, this is Amy Rose. We know the new year only just started, but it’s not too early to get your Valentine’s Day chocolates at Amy and Ella’s Cocoa Hearts.

I’m Ella. We have such goods ready at hand for buying any kind of chocolates for that special someone. They will show you their sweet side when you show them yours.

Amy: So place your order today at Amy and Ella’s Coca Hearts.

Amy and Ella: Happiness is a bom bom away.

Peach: Welcome back to Game Corner Central. Our next Phantom Thieves are Panther, the beauty of the group, and Fox, the artist. First thought, Panther.

Thank you, Your Highness.

Peach: So, Panther, what sports in the Olympics would you like to take part in?

Panther: Well, me and my friend used to play a lot of tennis back in middle school, so I guess there’s that. But I was told I might have a knack for other things. Like equestrian jumping, mountain biking, taekwondo, baseball, trampoline gymnastics, fencing, and boxing. Noir’s also got me into badminton.

Tails: That’s sound great. I also heard that your friend not only does tennis and volleyball, she’s also part of her school’s Stride Club. Have you ever thought of giving it a try?

Panther: I don’t know. I was already told why most girls don’t do Stride.

Peach: I know that. My friend, Princess Daisy, also knows the sport and has seen what happens when girls participate.

I know. I’m surprised my friend wanted to join. I guess she wanted to prove how strong she is.

Peach: But she’s proven that true, hasn’t she?

She has. I’m glad for that.

Peach: I’m sure. Thank you, Panther. Now, on to you, Fox.

I will be honored.

Tails: Before we begin, I love that you’re based on a fox.

Fox: I’m sure you do.

Tails: So Fox, what sports would you like to do in the Olympics?

Fox: Well, I’m not usually the sporty type, but I guess I would love to give archery a try. I would also like to try equestrian sports. As well, there’s artistic swimming, diving, the hurdles, the javelin, the high jump, boxing, fencing, kata in karate, judo, shooting, and table tennis.

Mario: That’sa lot. I thought you set you weren’t the sporty type.

Fox: It never hurts to try things that are considered out of character. I might even try wrestling.

I like the sound of that.

I know you would.

Peach: How romantic.

Mario: (a little unhappy) Reminds me of the Moon.

Sonic: I don’t think we should go there. Good thing we’re going into commercial time now. When we come back, we’ll interview Queen and Oracle.

Hello, I’m Pauline, Mayor of New Donk City in the heart of the Metro Kingdom. Planning on taking a trip? Then New Donk City is the place for you.

Yes, New Donk City. The Big Banana. The city that never leaps. The Modern Commerce Center and Urban Playground.

See the whole city from the top of City Hall. You won’t regret it.

You’ll especially love the view at night.

If shopping is on the list of things to do here, come check out the original flagship store for Crazy Cap, the world’s most trusted brand in headwear.

Really want to see the city up close a personal yet don’t want to walk all around? Renting a scooter should help. They may not look much, but these things can really pack a punch.

We New Donkers are also big fans of RC Car Racing. We have a tournament almost every day. Hope you’re ready to at least feel what it’s like to be behind the wheel.

And we have the Projection Room Theater where you can “really get into the movies".

So what are you waiting for? Plan your trip today. Of course, most will just wait until we hold our annual New Donk City Festival.

Yes, this festival let’s us celebrate our most wonderful city. You can really jump up, super star.

Well, whenever you decide to go, just remember, New Donk City is the place for you.

This has been brought to you by the New Donk City Tourist Association.

Peach: Welcome back to Game Corner Central. Joining us now are Queen and Oracle of the Phantom Thieves. Let’s start with the lead fighter. Thanks for joining us, Queen.

The pleasure is all mine.

Peach: So, Queen, what sport would you be good at in the Olympics? I was told you were quite the martial artist. Maybe karate or judo? Maybe even taekwondo?

Queen: Technically, I trained in aikido. But I think wrestling might be good for me. I might also like to try road cycling. There’s also relay racing, the high jump, marathon racing, pole vaulting, canoeing, rowing, rugby seven, the triathlon, soccer, shooting, and something Noir introduced me to, badminton. I’m also ging to give volleyball a chance.

Mario: Another balance type. Well, if you were in the Olympics for real, we wish you buona fortuna.

Who said I might not be in it?

Tails: Guess that’s a question for another time. Now moving on to my favorite Phantom Thief, Oracle.

I’m your favorite? Thanks, Tails, I’m happy to hear that from a fellow tech head.

Tails: You’re welcome. So, what sport are you interested in the Olympics? We were told you like basketball.

Oracle: I mostly do singles, but I think I can give teams a try. I’m also into handball, golf, trampoline, table tennis, archery, and boxing.

Tails: That sounds like quite the lineup. Though, you could try some team sports as well.

Oracle: Like what?

Peach: Well, there’s relay swimming, relay racing, I also recommend softball and rowing.

Oracle: I’ll think about it. And isn’t handball already a team sport?

Peach: I never thought of that.

Not many people do.

Tails: Tell me about it. When we come back, we’ll be talking with Noir and Crow. So stick around.

>After a repeat of the first commercial.

Sonic: Welcome back to Game Corner Central.

Tails: We’re now going to ask about the Olympics to Noir and Crow of the Phantom Thieves. Let’s start with Noir.

Thank you for having me here today.

Peach: So, Noir, what Olympic sport would you do?

Noir: Well, I suppose Queen and Panther already told you, I’m pretty good at badminton. I’m also thinking of giving wrestling a try. And volleyball. There’s also hammer throwing, shooting, archery, rowing, field hockey, sailing, poll vaulting, and baseball.

Mario: Mama Mia, that’sa lot of hand sports.

Noir: Well, I do a lot with my hands. Especially gardening.

Tails: That sounds like fun. Our friend, Cream, does gardening, too.

Noir: Really? I wish I could see what her garden is like.

Peach: So do I. I’ve heard so much about it.

Me, too. We should all see it sometime.

Tails: You’ll be glad you did. It’s really beautiful. Now, on to Crow.

Thank you. I’ll try to be as honest as I can.

Tails: I’m sure you will. So, Crow, what sport in the Olympics would you do?

Crow: Well, when you ask that, the more honest choice wold be fencing. Joker also got me into weightlifting, cycling, and baseball. I would also like to try the javelin, the discus, equestrian sports, soccer, canoeing, tennis, judo, rugby sevens, and shooting.

Mario: (a little worried) Why do I feel worried hearing you say shooting?

It’s a long story.

Peach: Well, either way, I’m sure you’ll be great. You already have some fame to you.

Crow: Well, it’s not uncommon for a detective to be good at some sport. A colleague of mine, Shinichi Kudo, does both soccer and shooting.

Tails: That’s true. He learned those things as part of his detective training.

Sonic: Don’t tell me it’s the same for you.

You never know. That might be true.

Mario: That’sa little vague. Well, we’ll have time to think about it during the break.

Tails: And when we get back, we’ll have our last guests of the day, Mona and Violet.

Hi, everyone, I’m Toadette. Did you know that even though we’re called the Mushroom Kingdom, we have more flowers than anything. So if you want any bouquets ready in time for Valentine’s Day, place your order from Toadette’s Bouquet Boutique. Everything from Piranha Plants to Fire Flowers, we’ve got ‘em all. Toadette’s Bouquet Boutique. Located in South Toad Town.

Mario: Chao, everybody. Welcome back to Game Corner Central. We’re here with our last Phantom Thieves to interview, Mona and Violet.

Tails: Mona, you’ve been with the P Thieves longer than Violet. Let’s hear what sport in the Olympics you would like to do.

If you got to know, I’d think any sport that requires cat-like reflexes. Maybe artistic gymnastics? I even want to try fencing and skateboarding. There’s even climbing, hurdles, wrestling, soccer, rugby sevens, and boxing.

Tails: Those do sound like they require cat-like reflexes. But it looks like you can also try swimming.

Mona: (a little hesitant) I’d rather give that a little more thought before trying.

Peach: I see. Still, you also look like you’d be good at karate and judo.

Mona: Yeah, I get that a lot. But yeah, I think I can give those a try, too. They tell me I have potential.

Sonic: Look like it. You might even give Eggman Nega a run for his money.

Mona: (getting ideas) A Phantom Thief of Justice going up against a villain from the future? I like that.

Sonic: (looking a bit grim) Why did I just say that? This is going to get crazy.

Peach: Anyway, now we’re on to out last thief of this edition. Before we begin, thank you again for saying I’m your favorite character.

Violet: You’re welcome.

Peach: So, what sport in the Olympics would you like to do. I was actually told that you are great in rhythmic gymnastics.

Violet: You win that bet. I think I also like to go for fencing and shooting. I also like tennis, badminton, baseball, high jump, judo, equestrian dressage,  and a bit of table tennis.

Peach: Those sound like nice sports. Actually, I do a lot of horseback riding in past Olympics myself.

Violet: Really? I know I played the game, I didn’t know you actually did it.

Peach: I do, sometimes. Actually, if we can, we can ride together.

Violet: Thank you. But I think that may have to wait until February.

Tails: You mean the release of Persona 5 Scramble: The Phantom Strikers.

Violet: That’s right. Me and Crow are not in it, so I think we can go.

Sonic: I wonder why you and Crow aren’t in it.

Violet: ... It’s complicated. I’m sure the other admin will think of something.

Peach: Well, it appears that is all the time we have. So before we wrap this up, any last words?

Only that we wish all the athletes participating in this year’s Olympics all the best of luck.

Good luck, athletes!

Mario: Well, that’s it for this edition. Grazie, Phantom Thieves for being here. Well, so long everybody.

Peach: And thank you for joining us for this edition of Game Corner Central.

[twistednuns]

September 2019

Franzbrötchen and pumpkin seed brie from VollCorner.

The ongoing feminism debate I'm leading with Frank. I even got him to read Bitch Doctrine by Laurie Penny.

My reflection in the iPad when I'm watching Netflix in bed.

The sunrise one morning. You could still see the moon. A plane was crossing in front of it, lit by the morning sun.

Gossip about my students. Lennard is said to have a crush on Sarah. Yasss!

Tash Sultana's Jungle. Such a good song.

Buying Kate Nash tickets. Just because I loved her performance in GLOW.

Spending an evening with Frank in a window. Drinking hot cinnamon chocolate and tea. Talking about my time in India, checking in with each other.

Finding a good place for my little Kali sculpture (right behind the entrance, she's a good protector).

Driving around Munich with an emmy for the first time. The kindness of strangers (some dude took pity on me and helped me get the scooter started).

New pointy python skin Chelsea boots, really cheap black jeans and a simple black T-shirt (go go goth).

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green. Really great idea!

Riding my bike to the bakery one Sunday. Sunshine, the smell of Bavarian food coming from the restaurant across the yard.

Seeing my colleagues playing around with the VR goggles. Grown men not daring to jump off a virtual building. Ha.

Rewatching Gilmore Girls. I love Paris Geller. I really do.

Visiting my mum in Landshut. Driving out to Moosburg to see a little show at the airfield. Eating cake, playing board games.

Spending an afternoon with Franzi and Elise. She's such an adorable baby (coming from someone who's usually pretty resistant to children's charm). I helped Franzi pick out an outfit for an upcoming wedding in Ireland and checked out Elise's room for the first time.

The first Lebkuchen of the year. Nom.

A little treat... A trip to Pflanzen Ries. Getting some plants for the balcony again (just to have them killed by frosty temperatures soon, same procedure as every year).

Crocheting a juggling ball for our sports teacher.

Bayonne playing a concert at Strom! I went with Andre and stood right next to Roger outside. He was having a smoke and I tried not to stare at him too much. Swoon!

Re-reading my 38/11 chapter in Dan Millman's weird numerology book.

Going through old papers and artworks. Oh, the memories.

Preparing my Monarchies of Mau character sheet and drawing her.

Wearing a limoncello-coloured skirt from Monki. Two ladies sitting across from me on the subway, wearing the same shade of yellow.

Reading Hermann Hesse for the first time. Demian and Der Steppenwolf. The latter is really quite good.

Andre sending dreamy semi-nudes from the lake.

A field trip to the Isar shore with my class. Swimming in the river. At one point I drifted off and had to hold on to a branch to drag myself out of the river. Trying to walk back to my group I got lost in the woods. Obviously. But it was a nice, sunny day. We ate marshmallows, made a camp fire, I drew flowers on flat stones... Good times.

Wearing a pretty cool outfit one evening (even though I just went to the pub quiz): a burgundy striped maxi shirt dress from India with a headband, glasses and Birks.

Playing Mr Napkinhead at pub quiz to make the others laugh. Tattooing Andre's forearm.

Kätzhe Kollwitz's lecture-performance at Haus der Kunst. She's one of the founding members of the Guerilla Girls. Super interesting lecture.

Trying to keep my plants alive after the fertiliser accident. Making lots of cuttings and plant babies.

Attending the Climate Strike with Lena. Having Vietnamese food for lunch before meeting up.

A stressful afternoon at Pasing Arkaden looking for a bridal jacket ended in me and Lena having fun filming silly videos at Nanu Nana and the Müller candy shelves.

Going through Lena's old letters, trying to write a wedding speech.

Lena's and Christian's bachelor/bachelorette party! I had such a good evening. First we went to the trampolin park, then we had dinner, some drinks, and in the end we went dancing at Nachtgalerie. 90s music, very cheap drinks, good company. I kinda fell in love with Matthias. He is such a charismatic, funny and intelligent person. We hardly know each other but somehow we just click. We get each other. We skip the small talk and jump right into the deep issues.

Learning about the concept of the ecological hand print (having a positive impact on the climate with your lifestyle).

The dragonfly I saw right outside my balcony one Sunday.

[wizorab]

Dreams

I’ve been meaning to tell several people about my dreams lately, so I figure it’s easier just to write it once and then send this post to them.

I’ve had vivid and lucid dreams for most of my life, and several of them have had significant impacts on my life and who I am as a person. Those are listed here. 

cw: suicide, murder, isolation, guns

2006-ish: I had a dream that I was jumping on a trampoline with someone else. They were a white angel, and I was a black angel. There was a fence outside the trampoline, and a small crowd was watching us. I felt isolated from everyone else but the white angel. 

July 25-26th, 2011: I was in high school and best friends with a girl named Alana. We got along really well, and eventually we wanted to have a romantic relationship. Her parents (more specifically, her dad) really didn’t like me. I’m not really sure why. One day they told me not to come back to their house. A few days later, while Alana was in the shower, I went over to their house. I blacked out, and when I remembered again I knew I had killed Alana’s parents. It wasn’t a situation where I had passed out and done something against my will though, I knew I had done it on purpose. Alana fell into a deep depression, and the police never found out who did it. As time went on, Alana recovered, and we started to have a relationship. I went to college to become a pathologist, and she wanted to be an FBI investigator. Over the years, we got married. We lived a nice life. About 15 years after the dream had began, Alana put two and two together and realized that I had killed her parents. She confronted me crying and pulled a gun on me. I ran away, and eventually she tripped and I was able to get the gun away from her. We sat on a log, and we both were crying. In the distance, I saw two angels. One black, one white. I closed my eyes and shot Alana. The dream ended.

Winter 2011/12: I was on an island by myself for 15 years. I was very alone, and I had time to think and reflect on what had happened with Alana. 

February 2013: I was going to kill myself the next morning. There was a creek by my house that I was going to slit my throat next to. In my dream that night, Alana appeared to me. We danced in a void on a light up floor. We talked. She didn’t forgive me for what I had done. She made me promise not to kill myself, to never kill myself. She told me she would never come back. She never did.

Fall 2013: Every day, I went over to my friend Albi’s house. We sat and listened to music. Mostly, she played Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” while staring at me lovingly. After about a year of this, she started to look sad. She told me that she knew I couldn’t wake up unless she went away. She killed herself in front of me. The room disappeared, and I was in a burning field.

February 2014: I was very depressed. In my dream, the black angel took me to several locations. Alana’s living room, the log, the trampoline, Albi’s room, the creek where I was going to kill myself. At this last one, he threw me on the ground and told me to remember what I had been through and to keep moving forward.  I did. 

February 2015: I was in a room with a single hanging light, the rest void. In the light, there was another copy of me. A scared copy of me. We both knew that for the dream to end, I would have to kill him. I made a gun in my hand. I closed my eyes, and a single shot rang out.

There are probably other dreams that I’m forgetting, but these are the main ones.

[thisdaynews]

Beto’s Long History of Failing Upward

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/betos-long-history-of-failing-upward/

Beto’s Long History of Failing Upward

AMES, Iowa—The presidential run of Beto O’Rourke is a profoundly personality-driven exercise, his charisma and Kennedy-esque demeanor the topic of one profile after another, so it’s surprising to listen to his speeches on the stump in which he doesn’t talk a whole lot about himself. In Iowa recently, over several days in a rainy, foggy, uncertain stretch of spring, O’Rourke delivered a series of speeches and held question-and-answer sessions in which he spoke at length about unity, civility and inclusivity, and only rarely touched on his personal story. There was one notable exception: When he did offer up bits of his biography, he leaned most heavily on his run last year against Ted Cruz for a spot in the United States Senate.

He recounted for the crowds tales of the places he went and the people he met during his barnstorming, freewheeling, attention-getting campaign, coming back to two numbers: 254, the number of counties in gargantuan Texas, all of which he visited … and the percentage-point margin by which he was defeated.

Story Continued Below

“We lost by 2.6 percent,” he said in a basement music venue here at Iowa State University.

“We lost that Senate race in Texas by 2.6 percent,” he said in a downtown greasy spoon in Storm Lake.

“We came within 2.6 percentage points of defeating Ted Cruz,” he said in a community college cafeteria in Fort Dodge.

“So close,” the local party leader said in introducing O’Rourke one morning at a brewpub in Carroll. “So close.”

The part of his past that he talked about the most, by far, was a race that he lost.

O’Rourke, 46, campaigns with the wanderlust of the wannabe punk rocker he once was and the vigor of the regular runner, hiker and cyclist he still is. His hair is somehow simultaneously boyish and salt-and-pepper-streaked. He drives himself around in rented Dodge minivans, dressed almost always in plain brown shoes, Banana Republic chinos and blue oxford shirts with no tie and the sleeves rolled up just so. He often dons locally appropriate dad hats, from a maroon Iowa State cap at Iowa State to an orange Clemson cap at Clemson and so on. He holds microphones with his right hand kind of like a singer, and he extends his left arm into the air kind of like a preacher, and he punctuates his points with grins that flash perfectly imperfect teeth.

After Iowa, I dropped in on O’Rourke on the trail in South Carolina and Virginia, listening to him rat-a-tat-tat through his airy, often alliterative talking points about “common cause” and “common ground” and “common good” and “conscientious capitalism” and “our aspirations” and “our ambitions” instead of the “pettiness” and the “partisanship” of politics today, along with planks of a nascent platform like a new voting rights act, citizenship for Dreamers, “world-class public education” and “guaranteed, high-quality, universal health care.” And almost always, when he did talk about himself, it would be back to the time he fell just short. “We lost by 2.6 percent,” he said to a small, low-key gathering in rural Denmark, South Carolina.

Celebrating defeat is unusual for a politician, and doing so makes O’Rourke notably different from the rest of the unwieldy field of Democrats running for president. In contrast to the 20 or so other 2020 candidates—all of them in various ways overachievers who tout the litanies of their successes—O’Rourke instead presents his loss to Cruz as a prominent selling point. More than his ownership of a small business. More than his six years on the city council in his native El Paso. More than his next six years as a back-bench House member in Congress. His near-miss against a prominent Republican in a red state was such a high-quality failure, so epically heroic, he seems to suggest, that it should be considered something of a victory.And he’s not wrong to do it. His failed Senate bid, after all, is singularly what made him famous, what got him an interview with Oprah, what put him on the cover ofVanity Fair—and what’s put him in the top handful of aspirants angling for a shot to topple President Donald Trump.

But while it might be his most spotlit miss, it’s not an aberration.

There’s a reason his biography doesn’t feature much in the campaign. For O’Rourke, the phenomenon on display in that race—failure without negative effects, and with perhaps even some kind of personal boost—is a feature of his life and career. That biography is marked as much by meandering, missteps and moments of melancholic searching as by résumé-boosting victories and honors. A graduate of an eastern prep school and an Ivy League rower and English major, the only son of a gregarious attorney and glad-handing pol and the proprietor of an upscale furniture store, the beneficiary of his family’s expansive social, business and political contacts, O’Rourke has ambled past a pair of arrests, designed websites for El Paso’s who’s who, launched short-lived publishing projects, self-term-limited his largely unremarkable tenure on Capitol Hill, shunned the advice of pollsters and consultants and penned overwrought, solipsistic Medium missives, enjoying the latitude afforded by the cushion of an upper-middle-class upbringing that is only amplified by his marriage to the daughter of one of the region’s richest men.

“With a charmed life like his, you can never really lose,” an ad commissioned by the conservative Club for Growth sneered last month. “That’s why Beto’s running for president—because he can.”

“A life of privilege,” David McIntosh, the president of the Club for Growth, told me.

It’s not just Republicans who think this. “He’s a rich, straight, white dude who, you know, married into what should politely be called ‘fuck you money,’” Sonia Van Meter, an Austin-based Democratic consultant and self-described “raging feminist,” told me. “His biggest success is by definition a failure,” she added. “He’s absolutely failed up.”

Even by the experience-light standards of the most recent occupants of the White House—a first-term senator followed by a real estate scion and reality TV star—the notion of O’Rourke’s uneven résumé blazing a path to the presidency is new and remarkable. For the moment, he is trailing and slipping in the polls, but it’s early, and he is still attracting besotted fans. The support O’Rourke built that even allowed this run in the first place did not depend on traditional concepts of meritocracy and diligent preparation. To look deeper into his past, to talk to his friends from his teens and his 20s, to read distant clips from money-losing media ventures, and to talk to voters, too, is to see a different kind of claim to excellence. In the end, O’Rourke’s best recommendation that he can win might be that he knows how to fail big—and then aim even higher.

O’Rourke’s ascent in some sensestarted more than 20 years back. In the summer of 1998, he made the choice to quit New York. He had graduated in 1995 from Columbia University, then spent most of the next three years playing, listening to and talking about music, reading theEconomistand theNew Yorker, drinking Budweiser, riding in cramped subway cars. He had worked for short periods as a nanny, a copy editor, a hired-hand mover of art and antiques, and in a series of odd jobs around the city that let him split cheap rent in a sparsely furnished Brooklyn loft where he liked to jump on a rooftop trampoline. Now, though, he wanted out, and so he bought a used pickup and drove home, steering toward more open road. He was, he has said, “young” and “happy” and “carefree.”

This decision to leave New York, his longtime friend Lisa Degliantoni told me recently, was and remains O’Rourke’s biggest, most consequential accomplishment—not just a learning experience or a tail-between-his-legs withdrawal, she believes, but an accomplishment. In her mind, it unleashed O’Rourke, allowing him to be “transformational”—first for his city, then for his state, and now potentially for his country.

Trading the bright lights and the bustle for the relative ease and isolation of the desert by the Mexican border, Degliantoni said, was risky, “because as soon as you’re there, you’re off all the radars.” That risk was mitigated significantly, however, by what he was heading home to, according to interviews with nearly two dozen people who have known him or worked with O’Rourke. Riding shotgun in the cab of that pickup was Mike Stevens, another one of his best friends, and when they logged the last of those 2,200 or so miles, Stevens told me, waiting for O’Rourke in El Paso was far from certain success but also “a pretty large safety net.”

He used it. Upon his return, he worked at first in the warehouse of his mother’s store. That fall, he was arrested after driving drunk in his Volvo at 3 a.m. and sideswiping a truck at “a high rate of speed” on Interstate 10. He went to “DWI school,” finishing the next spring.

It was his second arrest. Three years before, he had been apprehended by the police at the University of Texas El Paso after tripping an alarm trying to sneak under a fence at the campus physical plant while “horsing around” with friends. Prosecutors didn’t pursue the charge. (“No consequences,” said McIntosh from the Club for Growth.)

The next year, in 1999, O’Rourke started the Stanton Street Technology Group, an offshoot of which was StantonStreet.com. The website covered the arts and food and local politics and endeavored to be “the most comprehensive, interactive, and entertaining home page in the Southwest.” In the summer of 2000, it was registering 32,000 monthly “impressions,” according to O’Rourke at the time, a figure whose impact is hard to gauge given the early era of the internet and the size of El Paso—but the site also was bleeding money, taking from the coffers of the web design business. Even so, in January 2002, he launched a weekly print version. Bob Moore, the former editor of theEl Paso Times, told me he used to rib O’Rourke that one of his few advertisers was his mother—“his only advertiser,” he said, “for the longest time.” It lasted 15 issues.

The newspaper was, said Degliantoni, who worked on it with him, O’Rourke’s “love letter to his hometown” but also “probably in hindsight not the best move.” Even O’Rourke joked about it recently in his remarks in Storm Lake. “In a brilliant stroke of genius, just as print newspapers were in decline,” he told the standing room only, shoulder to shoulder, coffee shop throng, “I started a print newspaper.”

The result? “We bankrupted the operation,” O’Rourke said to what sounded like good-natured, forgiving titters.

No matter.

He had run the website and started the paper “to be as engaged as I possibly could,” he later explained. “The logical conclusion,” he continued, “was to run for office.”

He ran for City Council in 2005 and won, and won again in 2007, backed by El Paso’s business elite, and then he ran for Congress in 2012, challenging in the primary Silvestre “Silver” Reyes, an eight-term incumbent who would have the endorsements of a pair of presidents (Bill Clinton and Barack Obama) and never before had had even a close call in a reelection. It was, political analysts in the area agreed at the time, a bid that smacked of audacity and risk. “It’s close to impossible to get a sitting member of Congress out of office because of the privilege and power,” O’Rourke said early on in his campaign.

But O’Rourke, of course, had a share of both as well, hailing from “an old El Paso political family,” as a local columnist pointed out, calling O’Rourke “just as ‘household’ around here as the stately congressman himself.” A company owned by his father-in-law, the real estate tycoon Bill Sanders—he’s worth at least an estimated half a billion dollars—gave $18,750 to a PAC that supported O’Rourke’s campaign. Reyes threw around the words “family wealth” and charged that O’Rourke was “a show pony” and “part of the 1 percent.”

In the end, though, painting Reyes as an aging Washington insider, and employing block-by-block door knocking, O’Rourke won with 50.5 percent of the vote.

Friends and admirers say O’Rourke is nothing if not a hard worker, wearing out shoes and racking up miles. “I think he’s the hardest-working man in U.S. politics,” said Steve Kling, a Democrat who lost last year running for the Texas state Senate. They describe him as an exceptional listener.

In his three terms in Washington, O’Rourke compiled a moderate to centrist voting record, which in this left-leaning primary could become problematic. He was known in D.C. as sufficiently affable but also something of a loner, say Capitol Hill staffers, a floating, unthreatening member who had undercut his clout by pledging to stay no more than four terms.

When he began his race against Cruz, it’s easy to forget, O’Rourke was close to unknown—even in Texas. Cruz, on the other hand, was one of the most prominent Republicans in the nation, and no Democrat had won a statewide campaign since 1994. Texas Senator and Majority Whip John Cornyn dubbed it “a suicide mission.”

But what, strategists and operatives say now, did O’Rourke really have to lose? He had engineered his own congressional exit, anyway, 2018 was shaping up to be a favorable year for Democrats, and Cruz was a legendarily unpopular foil against whom he could rally support. And the worst-case scenario? Something O’Rourke had done before. Just go home. Go back to El Paso. Failure, in fact, was an option.

“Beto,” Southern Methodist University political scientist Cal Jillson toldTexas Monthlyin March 2017, “lives life with a cushy net beneath him.”

“It wasn’t that big of a risk,” Texas-based GOP strategist Brendan Steinhauser told me.

The biggest risk he took in the Senate bid, in the estimation of politicos in Texas and beyond, was to listen to people who lived in all 254 of the counties in Texas more than he did to people who could have armed with him with more targeted data. He tended to rely on feelings more than numbers. It was a root of his populist allure—and also perhaps the reason he didn’t win.

In his concession speech, he positioned himself at the center of a stage decked out with floodlights and speakers and drums, a scene evocative of a rock concert more than a convening of the dejected supporters of a failed candidate and campaign.

“I’m so fucking proud of you guys!” he hollered, eliciting squeals from his fans.

They chanted his name.

“Beto! Beto! Beto!”

After O’Rourke’s recent event in Sioux City, Iowa, I talked to two people who had traveled from different states to see him specifically because of that night. Because they had been inspired by how he spoke about losing. Chris Untiet, 35, had come from California. He works for Habitat for Humanity, and he told me he had watched the speech on the screen of his phone while on a trip to build houses in Vietnam. “I was really moved to tears,” he told me. The other was Claire Campbell. She’s 17. She saw the speech sitting in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, and will vote for the first time in next year’s presidential election. And she hopes she can pick O’Rourke. “I literally love him,” she told me. In the question-and-answer session, she raised her hand and asked him to her prom.

“So, he had to lose the Senate,”Kim Olson, a Democrat and staunch O’Rourke ally who last year lost her bid to be Texas Commissioner of Agriculture, was telling me as I hurtled ahead on a ribbon of road slicing through flat fields, from one Iowa campaign stop to the next. “He had to get the nationwide name recognition. He had to do the hard work. And let me tell you: It’s fricking hard work running as a statewide candidate—as it’s going to be countrywide … grind, every day, all day—and here he is, after losing in a hard-fought race, he said, ‘I’m still going to serve, I’m still going to go, and I’m going to run for president.’ So, yeah, you could say his greatest accomplishment was to lose by, you know, 300,000 votes to a guy who almost won a primary for the president. But that wasn’t his greatest accomplishment. It wasn’t the loss—it’showhe did it—that was his greatest accomplishment. It was going to everywhere, all the time, speaking to people, getting out there, not being afraid of anybody or anything and doing that hard grind that it takes. That’s why it makes him an incredible candidate for president, I think.”

Olson, affable and voluble, in essence attempted to redefine the idea of failure. O’Rourke hadn’t failed. Because he had tried and worked so hard. Because the experience had opened other doors.

At many of the dozen or so O’Rourke events I attended of late, most of the people I talked to knew not a whole lot about him—hardly anything, really, about what he had done, or not done, before the race against Cruz. Maybe they had seen what he said about the kneeling National Football League players in a clip that lit up the internet. Maybe they had seen the Oprah interview. Maybe they had seen the Annie Leibovitz shot on the cover ofVanity Fair. The conversations were a reminder that most people not in Washington or even Texas have basically just met him.

“Is he a lawyer?” 70-year-old Ruth Lux from little Lidderdale, Iowa, asked me after O’Rourke’s pit stop in nearby Carroll.

“No,” I said.

“What did he do before he got into politics?” she asked.

I provided a speedy rundown to the Cruz race.

“I think the fact that he came so close to unseating Cruz, that’s pretty important,” Lux said. “A lot of people are relating to what he’s saying, you know.”

I asked her if she was bothered by O’Rourke’s lack of experience compared with other candidates in the Democratic field. She wasn’t. “I don’t know that Obama had much more,” she said. “Did he really have much more experience than this guy? Really probably not.”

The man who introduced O’Rourke at Iowa Central Community College in Fort Dodge responded similarly. “I heard the same thing in 2008 when I was supporting Obama,” David Drissel, a professor of social sciences, told me. O’Rourke, he pointed out, has not only more congressional experience than Obama but “more congressional experience than the past four presidents combined.” I did the quick math. Trump. Obama. The second Bush. Clinton. True enough.

Obviously, the bar for the requisite experience for the Oval Office has been recalibrated over the past decade or more of presidential campaigns, and doesn’t necessarily run through Congress at all. But voters haven’t entirely abandoned their desire for a candidate to win—and then actuallydo something. For all the shrugging over his résumé, people at O’Rourke’s town halls clearly, too, were pressing for specifics. I listened to multiple people ask him explicitly to put meat on the bones of his ideas.

Their questions to him often boiled down to one word: How?

Then, when I asked them if they had heard from him what they had wanted to hear, their answers often boiled down to one word as well: No.

Jason Levick, 27, who had driven from Omaha to see O’Rourke, wanted to know how he would cut down on wealth and income inequality.

“A little bit rambling and not really to the point or concrete,” Levick told me.

Brendan Grady, 26, asked O’Rourke in Denison how he would address the “lack of social cohesion.”

“Didn’t really address it,” Grady told me.

Mike Poe, 64, asked O’Rourke in Marshalltown how he would manage to enact meaningful gun control.

“Vague,” Poe told me.

I heard the same thing in South Carolina. In Denmark, at O’Rourke’s town hall in a threadbare auditorium on the campus of tiny Voorhees College, Sailesh S. Radha from Columbia stood up and expressed his frustration that so many presidents can’t seem to make good on their promises after they get elected. How would O’Rourke, Radha wondered, turn his words into actions? Into accomplishments?

After the event, when I asked him what he thought of the answer, Radha shook his head and made a face. “I need to hear more from him,” he said.

And yet, and in spite of a stageof the campaign that’s started to feel more like an ebb than a flow, if I had to divide every crowd into two groups—the squinty, not-quite-satisfied versus those inspired by O’Rourke’s table-hopping battle cries and open to the viability of his candidacy—there was no shortage of dewy-eyed believers.

Many people were struck by his energy and his charisma and his gauzy optimism. They heard echoes of iconic Democrats from the past and saw, they said, a possible path forward—a potential winner—somebody who might be the one to take on Trump. “I’m thinking back to the first encounter with President Obama here at Morningside College,” retiree Mike Goodwin told me after the event in Sioux City.

Lux, meanwhile, the woman in Carroll who thought maybe O’Rourke was a lawyer, waited in line after the event and shook his hand and told Robert Francis O’Rourke he reminded her of … Robert Francis Kennedy. O’Rourke told her thank you. He told her RFK is one of his heroes.

“The charisma,” Lux said when I asked her about the comparison. “The compassion for people at the bottom. Actually, even the physical appearance—the hair, the rolled-up shirt sleeves.”

She told me she had entered 2007 enthused to vote for Hillary Clinton in the caucuses and then for president. But she ended up going for Obama.

“You know, always, it comes down to: How do you present yourself? How charismatic are you?” Lux said. And she said something I heard from many others as well. She was less interested in policy proposals than she was in the possibility of victory. Especially now. “I am more interested,” she said, “in who can unseat Trump.”

It’s one of the few things, it seems, all Democratic voters seem to agree on. “I think that what caucus-goers are looking for is to defeat Donald Trump,” said Norm Sturzenbach, O’Rourke’s state director in Iowa. “That’s ultimately what’s driving it.”

Steinhauser, the GOP strategist from Texas, agreed. “I wouldn’t want to run a campaign against O’Rourke,” he said. He pointed to what he was able to do in … almost beating Cruz. “Look back at what just happened here. It’s pretty incredible. Who else out there on the list really excited people in that way and is the young-looking guy? He reminds a lot of people of Obama or John F. Kennedy or those kinds of candidates.”

Even with his thin résumé? His hazy policies? Steinhauser cut me off.

“Nobody cares,” he said.

“Donald Trump’s policy positions did not matter,” he added, although it should be noted that his visceral pitches in areas like immigration mattered a lot. “I think Democrats want to beat Donald Trump. I think that they’re smart enough to know they need somebody who can win, whatever that means.”

Whether the failed-upward O’Rourke can be that “somebody,” of course, very much remains to be seen. The Iowa caucuses are nearly nine months away, and there’s a long year and a half to go between now and November 2020.

But one recent morning at a seafood restaurant in Ladson, South Carolina, all the booths jammed full, people standing in the back and all the way toward the door, an O’Rourke aide handed the microphone to 69-year-old Stephen Johnson from Mount Pleasant for the last question of the event.

“Congressman O’Rourke,” Johnson said. “I really like you a lot. But there’s one thing I want to know. If you get the Democratic nomination, will you beat Trump?”

O’Rourke answered the question almost before Johnson could finish getting it out of his mouth.

“Yes,” he said.

The people roared.

Read More

[traviswsoul]

Day 30 Pasco to Winddust Park 42 miles

This morning Dilan made crepes, we had a delicious breakfast.  His kids Ivy, 10, and Axel, 4, are beautiful toe head babies full of positive energy, poster children for good parenting.  They definitaly score one in the get married and have a family column for me.  Dilan's and his wife Jen's shop is called Greenies because they started it out as a shop for all the things a "green" minded consumer might have trouble finding.  Over the years those products have become more widely available, a good thing in general but it also innevitable reduced the demand for those things in their shop.  Now they are a fully operating bike shop as well as a renter of kanoes, SUPs, and bike.  Richland is one of the Tri-Cities of eastern Washington along with Kiliwak and Pasco.  Three rivers run through the cities and the city has done an excellent job creating public outdoor spaces and multi use paths along the water. I'm really impressed with this town and even more so with the beautiful life Jen and Dilan have created, they are both super fit and good looking by the way.  He's 40 and I would have guessed he was my age, she is beautiful and also clearly healthy and active enough to look younger than her years. That night after Dilan left the shop he went with three other guys for a quick 20 mile sprint around the city along the rivers like they do each tuesday night.  I joined him afterward for Taco Tuesday $1 Taco Special at the food truck down the road.  Chasing a beautiful sunset we rode through town and out through farms and into Pasco where they live, I felt right at home and enjoyed talking about Harry Potter with Ivy, she's also a super fan and had the hard back illustrated text book size versions of the books! They were incredible!  I love when I can talk with kids about Harry Potter and not have to downplay my own personal childlike excitment about the phenominon. I didn't even have to set up my tent because they had a trampoline!  After visiting a while with the grown ups I called it a night climbing in to my sleeping bag and resisting the urge to have a good jump and bounce session before bed.  I absolutely love sleeping on trampolines! Especially when you wake up because you get to just roll around and are immediately doing wake up stretches and starting a morning off right.  There nothing like doing Downward Facing Dog in the middle of a trampoline, if you haven't, I insist you try it! Dilan made crepes, it was the best breakfast I've had my whole trip! One I filled with goat cheese, pistachio and peaches, another with almond butter, banana and nutella, and the last with cottage cheese and blueberries.  I got a late start and rode through a couple hours of over a hundred degrees but I'd do it all over again for that good night sleep, amazing breakfast, better company and just being in such a warm home.  Remember Greenies bike shop in the tri cities if you're ever in east Washington, I know I'll be back, I want to kayak that river! The riding was moderately difficult today, boring and extremely hot. I have started another of Dan Carlin's Hard Core History Pod Casts called the Blueprint for Armageddon.  It's about the things that led to world was 1 starting with the assassination of Franz Ferdinand, the heir to the thrown of austro hungary, which im probably remembering in correctly but I know he was killed Serbians who could have had no idea of ultimate ramifications of their actions.  And the guy that killed him did so after the mission to do so had already failed until later in that day the vehicle carrying the prince happened to stop on the street, by coincidence, right in front of the assassin who pulled out his gun and shot both he and his wife.   Dan described it as if Kennedy was not killed when fired upon in his car in Dallas but instead stayed in the car driving around for a while and stopped in front of a cafe that the shooter from the grassy knoll was walking out of, armed and succeeded at his freak second chance.  The chances of this happening and it's role in world history couldn't be written any better if it was made up.  I'm loving learning about this old history in way Hard Core History podcast does, it's hours and hours long.  I think this series I've just started is 6 episodes each over two hours, perfect for a trip like this because it's hard to consume it all if you have real life interrupting your lessons all the time.   As I cam around one turn I saw another bike packer stopped in the shade packing something up, I asked if he was ok and then wished him well and rode on.  Then I realized he was coming my direction when he came up behind me and we exchanged encouragements, then when he was pulled over again on a hill I passed him commenting on how hot it was and he confirmed that I had enough water and reminded me to stay hydrated!  Eventually after a while of this I saw his bike was outside the only building we had seen for 25 miles, it was the top of a hill we'd just climbed so I also pulled over to check on power for something I think.  After a minute or two a women stuck her head outside the little school house and asked me if I needed more water as well?  I decided to take the obvious lead and went inside, she guided me down stairs and on past the kids cubbies with finger paint hung all above I met Oliver Heyndrickx in the little boys room filling up his water. He was from Belgium and admitted he had just graduated and was out traveling to run away from responsibilities mounting at home so he was trying to cycle to as many national forests as he could in the next few months.  We made our way up to the landing by the entrance where I felt a cold stream of air conditioning blowing against my legs.  From one of the lower steps of the next flight of stairs was amazingly cold air blowing from a vent, it felt life giving. I immediately stuck my head down to it and got comfortable, so did he, we were both so hot, it must have been 105 outside and I know I was thirty miles in, he was more.  So we sat and chatted, immediate friends, kindred spirits feel, it was we laughed about how neither of us were really sure how to do what we had set out to do.  I walked him through how to change a tire, which he has never done in his life.  He was confident, adventures, bearded, and excited, I wish we could have traveled more together.  Nine miles past the school house though I turned right onto Burt Canyon Road and finally was rewarded for all the climbing we'd been doing with a few miles of down hill.  I was headed down to the Snake River, normally when you get to bomb down you get to cool off but today, even over thirty miles per hour, the air was so hot it didn't feel nice at all.  It felt like when you open the over and get wave of heat hitting you, I couldn't believe it.  Once the river came into sight however and jumping in became a very real possibility I was stoked!  I  hit the river and turned left watching the giant river boat filling facility come closer and closer.  It appeared that semis go through, unload their loads, and then it is piped up into a silo that has a ramp and filling down tube hanging out over the river, where I suppose boats fill up and transport down the river.  This type of operation seems perfect out here, today I rode through the biggest farm plots I have ever seen, some fields rolled on so far they became hills and disappeared behind their horizons.  I passed a tiny linger hanger and run way and watched airplanes take over and return over and over making passes dusting the fields with chemicals, one little yellow plain I saw flying over me and returning to reload three times while I was on that stretch.  Wheat fields are actually rather beautiful, the wind blows them in all directions and motion and shades of gold is constantly changing direction.  I also believe I saw, carrots, onions, and potatoes, root vegitables that I'm not so good at identifying.  I am certain that I passed a garlic field, it smelled amazing, a few million heads of garlic filling the air with that aroma that we know so well from it filling our kitchens at the onset something delicious being made, it was unmistakable.  It was cool to see the river still being used to transport those harvests, I saw a few massive vessels moving up river while I've been here now but have not gotten to witness a filling, I can see that giants solo and ramp from where I'm camping.  I'm right on the river across is a train track and then a cliff that jets up, the move has been getting brighter and higher from the back of that cliff all night.  When I left this morning I had I had parts all over and out of place so when I arrived here, after immediately walking straight down the boat dock into the river with all my clothes on, shoes included, I laid out my yoga mat and unpacked everything.  I then repacked it all back into exactly the right places, taking inventory, organizing and consolidating. There was a break for another swim some time during my OCD exercise as well and once I was finished I did yoga on the newly cleared mat.  Today my on board power system failed for the first time.  earlier in the day one of the wires had broken off the metal piece that connects it to the hub. I managed to stop in front of an auto shop and soon a interested guy asked if I needed help, we struck up a conversation and he realized he had a replacement for the part I needed so we got it fixed.  However, soon after both the wire had broken of the metal piece we replaced and the other wire was severed.  I was baffled but managed to take my time, borrow some duck tape and pliers and get it rigged up better than before.  Now the sun has gone down and I need to eat a lot more still before bed. xoxoxo3:46