#they tried to depict a gravity falls character more realistically

[mirrorroad]

look inside your nearest washed up villain book and you may find some abuse catharsis!

[imptwins]

The thing is right, even before I was fully into dark kink (or 'proship' if you wanna call it that) I still wrote things with problematic undertones. Everyone does. Even the most wholesome media properties have dark themes. Steven Universe has characters - protagonists, mind - using, manipulating, lying to each other. She-Ra, Gravity Falls, The Owl House, all the most celebrated modern 'cartoons that appeal to adults' kinda shows have this kind of stuff in them, not to even mention anime and plain ole live action shows/movies. But before, I masked it. I had characters do things that were out of character for them to avoid something that would actually fall under a category or - much worse - I portrayed things that technically were in that category but just told myself I was skirting the line enough that it wouldn't actually fall into it. Most properties do this. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone who deals in mature themes - let alone outright porn - who hasn't ever depicted something that would most likely, without a 'headcanon' that there were negotiations beforehand, fall under a category of (sexual/)abuse, (sexual/)harassment, or simply rape. I've mentioned those tropes more than enough; a spur of the moment touch or kiss that one character is shocked about at first but realizes they like, mild blackmail, nagging, or duress played off as banter, the ever-popular Sleeping Beauty moments. Again, Steven Universe frequently depicts domestic abuse even from protagonists. I use SU as an example of this a lot because it was there for my whole 'arc' for problematic content; first being blind to it, then realizing the themes were there and feeling really conflicted and confronted, and then coming to appreciate that the show dealt with them in mature and realistic ways, that showed flawed people who made mistakes and weren't demonized for it, but were given the chance to learn and grow. Like I shouldn't have to point out how bad Pearl can be sometimes. A really big moment for me was when a close friend wound up triggered from one of my works, because they correctly pointed out that the consent in it was dubious at best. I wound up adding a dubcon CW, but I felt awful about it. Both because I'd hurt a friend and because that was what I'd written, without even really meaning to. It wasn't that I didn't understand consent, I knew that I was skirting the line when I wrote it. But I was so afraid of the tag, of the label. And as a result not only did I upset a friend, I also wrote something that wasn't as good as I could have. I shied away from it, when if I had have just embraced from the start that I was writing dubcon and actually leaned into it, there would've been more interesting and mature themes that I could have explored. Instead I tried to never quite cross the line, and it upset someone anyway. It should have been tagged from the start. But only ONE PERSON out of the like 30 people who read it took issue, because it personally triggered them. To be totally honest, I could have just ignored them, said 'one out of thirty must mean they're over-sensitive,' and went on with my day. I think this is what leads to SO MUCH mainstream work that has this kind of stuff in it. Someone doing something that by all rights qualifies as sexual assault, but just isn't tagged. Because people WILL just let them get away with doing it as long as they have some plausible deniability room that it wasn't really noncon or blackmail or abuse. But if they put the tag on? Now, people will simply call them a [accusation] without even really looking through their work. Those people probably wouldn't have ever been interested in the first place, but tagging it makes you a target. So, good job antis, you've created an atmosphere where people would rather not tag something and pretend it's not as dark as it is, or bypass tags, than just use them. Because you'll doxx and threaten people who conscientiously tag, and ignore works that straight up depict domestic abuse as long as it's coy about it, and pretend that's not what it is.

[ficview]

View - And So We Spiral

By DaScribbla

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9502808

After Berlin, 15-year old Peter Parker nurses his growing crush on his mentor. Tony Stark tries not to notice, and inevitably fails.

I was sure that no other Starker fic could ever come close to the epic romance that was Revelations, and I couldn't be more glad to be proved wrong.

The story progresses very similarly to your typical non-PWP Starker story. Peter has a crush. Tony notices. Tries to avoid it. Gives in eventually. They have to hide from their friends and the public. They succeed in keeping it hidden until whenever/the truth comes out (Spoiler Alert: it does).

What's special here is the treatment and gravity given to the events that carry forth said generic plot. As much as I enjoy this ship, I must confess that I actively avoid thinking about its moral and legal implications. Some stories circumvent this dilemma by aging Peter up or Tony down; the age gap persists nonetheless. And So We Spiral is the only story that addresses these issues realistically and with sensitivity.

Pros:

-Amazing use of atmosphere! An ever-lingering sense of melancholia permeates this world and its characters. Tony and Peter know what they are doing is not right, but they are unable to stop and that disturbs them. There is an oppressive weight pressing onto everyone's shoulders, and the writing masterfully conveys these feelings to us.

-As mentioned above, realistic treatment of plot. Peter is not of legal age here, and the reactions of people who get to know about the relationship are appropriate and frankly what will (and should) be in the real world.

-Well-written characters. Peter acts like he's fifteen. Some may find him a bit OOC from his MCU version, but again, this fic is not 100% MCU compliant and incorporates elements from the comics. And I was pretty impressed with Tony's portrayal as well. One of my usual grouches with this ship is how little reason Tony has for being attracted to Peter. Well, that's not elaborated upon too much in this story, but I genuinely didn't care, which brings me to the next pro.

-It's not about falling in love. It's about the consequences. And oh boy, do they face quite a bit of those!

Cons:

-Again, generic plot. I think I read the first 100 pages on autopilot. Could have been a little more engaging on that front.

-Peter is a victim of past sexual abuse and that is not given its due weight. Some of the smut do not make merge well with Peter's past.

(Not sure if this is a pro or con). Not a totally healthy relationship. It's kind of shallow. We never really see many romantic moments out of the smut. And though, they are willing to fight for each other, that seems to stem more from decency and duty towards a partner than genuine love.

I'm more inclined to call this a pro for the rather nuanced depiction of an age-gap relationship based on sexual attraction, but for all the trouble these two go through, you need something solid to root for as a reader. Tbh, I would have been totally fine with them parting ways forever at the end, and if that's what the author was trying to convey, well and good.

The ending definitely warrants a special mention, with bittersweet being the most apt word to capture the feeling. All in all, one of the deeper MCU fanfiction I've read, and despite the flaws, it has trumped nearly every other Starker I've read, and proven itself worthy of ranking at the top of the Starker list.

[iceglade]

I’ve noticed you posting about the glass scientist a lot and it looks cool but not sure whether I want to get into another fandom or not. Would you mind telling me a little about it? I’m hoping hearing other people’s opinions will help me make up my mind

Oh goodness hdjfkg hello anon! a little about it.. lets see [pulls out a large file folder] TL;DR, plotty, angsty, relatable/likable characters (even the antagonistic ones), beautiful art style, beautiful aesthetic. A commentary on living with anxiety but like in a Classic kind of way. What's not to love?

The Glass Scientists is an ongoing webcomic by @arythusa (i'm sorry to @ you), it follows protagonist(s) Henry Jekyll (and narrator) Edward Hyde as Jekyll tries to keep it together enough to keep The Society for Arcane Sciences, a haven for London scientists looking to continue their art/studies, afloat in a superstitious, bitter London social scene. Actually, it mostly focuses on Jekyll's anxieties about that, and how it affects him. Everything that happens (or Has happened) is leading up to an event that hasnt taken place yet: the Grand Exhibition, an event where everyone will give presentations, and the people of london will love it, and the rich people of london will give them lots of funding money, so that the society doesnt. y'know. crash and bankrupt. Like one big science fair. Or at least Jekyll hopes.

Honestly? if you're someone with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, osdd(like i have!) or anything of the sort, you're going to LOVE this webcomic. probably. its just one of those things where you'll be reading it and you'll just keep going "OH SAME" the entire time. The depiction of Hyde as dual anxiety thoughts/the rejected parts of Jekyll's psyche given form just reads as so REAL and RIGHT. mad kudos to ms. sabrina!!

If you're someone who gets easily attached to Tragic Victorian Scientists™, watch out 'cause TGS has got many and More. I think I remember Jack Griffin from the Invisible Man (the H.G. Wells book, not the Ralph Ellison novel. sorry) in there. The cast is VERY varied and realistically diverse, and Begs for ocs, if you're into that sort of thing !

If it increases the appeal, every character is bi in-universe unless stated otherwise. I think this is gonna b a relevant plot thing later with jekyll and lanyon, but. who knows! There's a character who shows up later who - oh, no spoilers. But her gender might catch you by surprise. And shes not even the kind of character you can write off, too - shes There and Important and Complex as all hell. Not everything has been revealed about her yet, but? everything's lookin good so far. woohoo !!

Oh obviously I can't not mention that this comic is BEAUTIFULLY drawn and colored - theres lots of imaginative clutter in every panel. Every page pops with life. i'll pull up some examples, which were HARD to pick, because WOW:

(out of order to avoid spoilers as best i can)

but uhh, the author worked on cartoons like Gravity Falls and SVTFOE so sometimes that pops out a little in humor-focused panels. adds to the charm :)

Back in 2018 when I first started reading the webcomic (thank you ren you were SO RIGHT THIS COMIC IS SO GOOD) , the latest update was early in chapter 6. I think a friend of mine ( @flame-cat ) said smth about the latest update being at a halfway point? The comic updates every Monday (somethin to look forward to ;-;) so obviously it's not as short as it used to be, but. [shrugs].

yeah thats most of it. anyone reading this that's not the anon is MORE than welcome to add on in the replies. So! Give it a look! Obviously, if not, no harm in it. But if you do, PLS tell me what you thought jdjfkg i love this comic Very much

thank you for reading !!

[kcwcommentary]

VLD2x05 – “Eye of the Storm”

2x05 – “Eye of the Storm”

Zarkon’s forces, who showed up at the end of the last episode, attack. The Castle takes evasive action. This is the first time (is it the only time? because I don’t remember these things) that it’s shown that there are weapons drones separate from the Castle itself. Of course, the writers decided that in a tense situation, one that could be life or death, to have the never explained “rivalry” between Lance and Keith be a thing. When you’re in a situation like this, you’re fighting for your life, you’re not going to care about such petty things. Allura using the moon for a gravity assist was really nice though; I’m surprised the show could actually get something science right for a change.

The Castle makes it into a wormhole and escapes but falls short of their intended destination. Allura collapses from stress and everyone’s tired. Coran gets “the slipperies.” This plot for him doesn’t do much for me; it doesn’t bother me, I’m just eh about it. He eventually reports that the Castle’s teludav, the system that enables wormhole creation, is under severe need of maintenance. While Coran works, everyone else tries to rest.

Lance heads off to the pool, and when he sees Keith is doing the same, he gets all angry/annoyed. “What the heck do you think you’re doing?” he asks Keith. This “rivalry” is so senseless. Seriously, writers? Keith can’t even go for a swim without Lance being bothered by it? It’s tiresome. The power cuts out while they’re in the elevator though. Two people antagonistically stuck in an elevator together is a trope, but this episode doesn’t let it play out; we move on to out of the elevator almost instantly.

Meanwhile, Hunk is baking because of course he is. I can understand his explanation though, that it clears his head. This is a reasonable application of the Hunk-likes-food single bullet-point of characterization the show gave the character. It expands his liking food beyond just fat guy = food, and instead explains how it’s applicable to his psychology. Baking is meditative for him. His “cookies” are weird though, and when challenged on it, he responds, “Are you going to try and tell me these aren’t cookies?” as he looks through clear, blue discs. Are you telling me he just randomly threw unknown substances in a bowl, stirred, and then portioned it out and baked it? That’s not how baking works. If he truly is even a novice yet serious baker, he would know that baking requires precise measurement of ingredients. The show again thinks doing a faux x-ray shot of bones breaking, this time Hunk’s teeth when he bites a “cookie,” is funny. It’s not.

Lance and Keith are trying to cooperate in climbing up the elevator shaft. The “rivalry” continues as they rant at each other each step. They eventually make it out and to a spot under the pool. The water is above them for some no other reason than it’s weird.

Pidge meanwhile tries to learn Altean, but for some absurd reason, the language instruction software attacks you if you mispronounce words. And the words it teaches are just creatures/monsters. The episode later makes Pidge’s wanting to learn the Altean language have relevance, but this particular scene does nothing to advance to that point, so this scene is wholly unnecessary. 

Shiro and Allura have a brief, but nice, tender moment. She can’t help but to continue to be worried about Zarkon. Shiro tries to encourage her that it’s okay to take a bit of time to rest. Unfortunately, while they’re talking, Galra forces attack the Castle. The crew goes to stations. Lance is baffled that Zarkon could have found them. I don’t know why though since this isn’t the first time; the show has established that Zarkon can do this, and the Paladins know that he can do this. This shouldn’t seem like an out-of-nowhere surprise anymore. Coran’s slipperies remains a problem. I still don’t find his condition to be funny, but the emotion of his apology to Pidge and his asking for help makes his situation have narrative/characterization value. Keith and Lance are back to controlling the weapon drones. They call out targets for one another, which I guess is supposed to be them setting aside the rivalry to help one another, but it’s not realistic. One, an advanced weapon system like these drones would have tracking systems built into them, so each one would have fighters/potential targets being presented on their operational displays. Two, each of them would be too busy operating their own drone to be able to monitor for targets for the other.

The drones go down, other systems, the shields, Coran and Pidge have to take them all offline to power the wormhole generator. The Castle makes a short jump and end up at what looks like a giant gas planet, but they have at least a moment to breathe. Shiro’s worried about how they’re being tracked, and Allura assures him the Castle’s systems would have detected any kind of tracking device. Coran reports the teludav is even more damaged now. Pidge describes the thing that looks like a planet as being a “giant metallic storm.” This show finally has something that looks a fair bit like a realistic planet – it’s kind of Jupiter/Saturn-ish – but it’s a “metallic storm?” Whatever.

The storm should hide them from any technology that could detect them, but Zarkon’s there almost immediately. The shots of Zarkon’s ship above the eye of the storm are beautifully animated. With no known tech being identifiable as letting Zarkon find them, Allura assigns blame to herself. Saying that’s how the Galra found them on Arus too. I guess it’s just the stress of the moment that makes her blame herself. Shiro says none of that matters. (He’s so supportive in moments of crisis! How anyone could think his character is boring, I don’t know.) He says that Voltron needs to lure Zarkon away so that the Castle can get out. He says to Coran, “I need you to do the impossible.” So much leadership!

Galra fighters following Voltron into the storm end up being destroyed by the storm. I don’t understand the structure of this storm. It has an eye, but only on one end? Zarkon’s ship is stationed at that end of the eye, but there’s apparently something beneath the cylinder of the eye of the storm that blocks the other end, and thus the Castle can’t get out that way? That’s the problem when you make up something like this: you have to explain it/depict it in greater scope to let the reader/viewer understand what it is. If this is just a weird, spinning storm in space that has an eye, we’re going to instantly compare it to a hurricane to try to understand it. The eye of a hurricane is open on top and bottom. But this has no bottom opening?

Zarkon rages, “The Black Lion is all that matters.” The Castle flies out of the eye right past Zarkon’s ship. Even if Zarkon is focusing himself on the Black Lion, I can’t believe the entirety of his ship would just stop and not attack the Castle while it flies past. Voltron starts glowing purple and being pulled toward Zarkon’s ship. Shiro states Zarkon’s trying to take control of the Black Lion. Voltron struggles against the pull, and the Lions start emitting beams of light from their eyes. It’s visually confusing because Zarkon’s ship starts exploding, so it makes it look like it’s those beams of light that are damaging the ship until three camera shots later when it’s revealed that the Castle is blasting huge holes through Zarkon’s ship. Given how much damage the Castle is doing, they should be able to easily destroy the entire ship. Zarkon’s concentration is broken, allowing Voltron to escape.

Hunk’s cookies turn out to be made of the stuff that the lenses that need to be replaced in the teludav. It’s a convoluted, silly scene of the Paladins holding the “cookies.” But it doesn’t bother me. Everyone is freaking out. Lance is screaming, “We’re going to die.” And Shiro is just standing there thoroughly unbothered, with an almost resigned, “whatever” look on his face. It’s like the poor guy’s been through too much to even care at this point. The lenses aren’t enough; they need to be shined, and Coran uses his slippery goo to do so. The system works, they Castle jumps into a wormhole and escapes.

This episode does change the dynamic between Team Voltron and Zarkon. He’s no longer just standing around somewhere distant being a villain from afar. Now he’s actively pursuing them himself. The episode thus heightens the overall tension in the show’s ongoing plot.

[jungnoir]

i'm so glad your requests are open!!! could i please request “Friends can kiss each other a little from time to time, right?” for nct's mark?

a fairy king and an elven warrior walk into a nerd convention;

mark lee | “Friends can kiss each other a little from time to time, right?” cosplay!au. | 4.4k words. | fluff, humor, v awkward mark lee and v awkward u as well.

a/n: because I received this prompt a few times, I’m doing my best to change each one up somehow so here’s a lil cosplaying with markiepooh

“I’m sorry, (Y/N),” Donghyuck’s words comes through the phone after a cacophony of violent coughing and groaning, voice drenched in regret despite the strain to speak clearly at all, “I don’t think I can stand around a crowded con for hours in plastic armor today. I can barely walk to the bathroom without getting dizzy… I have to bow out.”

“W-What?” You really hate how distinctly sad your voice sounds even as you muster all your might to stay calm. You were supposed to march into that convention center today in five pounds of armor that you’d meticulously spray-painted and tweaked to look just like your character’s, your face caked in makeup to create that flawless elven look that only existed in the world of warrior elves and demon fey, and your suffocating wig trimmed and styled to defy gravity itself with Donghyuck at your side. You and Donghyuck were famous for cosplaying as the married brave warrior elf Greer and dark fairy king Egi (respectively) at many conventions across the country, spending months on top of months perfecting your costumes and winning contests for your spot on depictions of the characters, but now you were a Greer without an Egi, and you didn’t know if you could do this alone. “Donghyuck, we’re a team. We always cosplay together.”

You hear Donghyuck sigh and feel instantly terrible for making him feel bad when he’s already suffering so much. The stomach bug that came like a thief in the night took your poor best friend out before the morning of the con came, and you were left sitting dumbfounded on the edge of your bed, half a face of concealer and heavy, heavy contour having to take a backseat to the bad news. You had been in such a good mood today, too.

You’re about to reassure him that it’s alright, that you’ll clean up and stop by his place to check up on him later and, if he’s up for it, maybe even bring your laptop so the two of you can binge watch the new anime you’d both started together when Donghyuck cuts in suddenly, “I figured you’d say that, so I got to thinking… how would you feel if, say, someone else took my place?”

“Someone? Take your place? You sure whatever you caught isn’t invading your brain right about now?” Your nervous joke falls on deaf ears as Donghyuck’s wheels begin to turn.

“I’m serious. Have someone take my place as Egi at the con. Granted, you won’t find anyone with nearly as much charisma and personality as me but… it’s worth a shot, isn’t it?” “But who? People will know it isn’t you!” You honestly don’t mean to sound so indignant. Hell, you grimace right after complaining, but if there’s one thing you can’t warm up to, it’s the idea of a stranger taking Donghyuck’s place today.

You and Donghyuck had been doing this for years together, the two of you inseparable. Granted, there were times you did cosplay as other characters, but your interpretations of Greer and Egi were always top notch. Many a time would you find yourselves being praised on other cosplayers’ instagrams, people gushing about how realistically you both portray the characters compared to any other cosplayers they’d ever seen. You were a package duo always; anything that could disrupt the dynamic you both had was subject to distaste… until you were both two hours away from having to cancel a con you’d been promising your online following you’d be at for weeks. “I know people will know it isn’t me, but that’s not the point. It’s the characters that are the point. People are gonna be more focused on the costume than the person underneath anyway.” 

“No, no… no. Do you remember all the different movie versions of Batman, Hyuck? Who plays the character matters.” Snorting, Donghyuck shifts the phone around while you whine. “This isn’t canon, edgelord. And it’s only for a few hours!” 

The reminder of how long you’ll really be out there, half-heartedly cosplaying and meeting your followers only to have to inform them that no, that isn’t Donghyuck with you and yes, yes you are on the verge of an emotional breakdown because it feels all kinds of off looms over your head like a metaphorical storm cloud.

Maybe you were being dramatic?

…nah, not likely.

You’re so deep in your pity party that you just faintly pick up tapping on the other end of the phone, your attention quickly grabbed, “What’re you doing, Hyuck? What’s that sound?”

“I’m sending help your way, oh great warrior Greer. If you see a big dork in my outfit dawdling outside on your front porch in half an hour, don’t panic and let him in.” “But-” “(Y/N), you’ll be fine. And hey, he’s better than a total stranger.”

He? Donghyuck has already left the conversation by then, your next calls for clarification going straight to voicemail. Even your texts go read and ignored, the plotting little bastard. You had a plethora of cosplay friends but none of whom you could recall who were both not already cosplaying as someone else today and around Donghyuck’s size to wear his costume. For all you know, he could be sending someone like Jaemin or Jisung to your rescue.

Yours and Donghyuck’s cosplay life was no secret to your small group of high school friends, though it was fairly clear none of them were quite interested in it either. No one would bat an eyelash if you and Donghyuck had to cancel plans to go to the movies on the weekend because a con was coming up and the two of you wouldn’t miss it for the world. Aside from what you’d both upload on your instagrams, your friends didn’t delve too much into the world you two were enveloped in. In fact, the only one of them that actually did show interest was Mark.

Mark was the eldest of all your friends, sometimes out of place when he tried to act like it. Deep down he was just like all of you, just as confused about life as the rest of you. You would never go as far as to say he was a mature friend, far from it even, but he did always have such a calming aura about him that you didn’t often find in the rest of your group. 

He was simple, sometimes incredibly naive, and easy to have fun with. He was also Donghyuck’s punching bag from time to time, but you’d seen the eldest snap back once in a while too. Where the others might tease you and Donghyuck about your cosplaying and be done with it, Mark would be attentive. He wouldn’t know the terms or the lingo but he’d always perk up when you’d mention how your outfit for (insert character he’s never heard of) was coming along, would even dare to ask you what it looks like so far. When you’d show him side by side pictures of the original and your creation, he’d always praise you on how identical they looked. Mark liked to see that spark in your eyes when you felt listened to by someone besides Donghyuck for once.

And maybe you liked Mark a bit. Maybe more than a bit.

Your crush was small, easy to hide and even easier to deny if the troublemakers of your group ever deigned to point out your lingering stares and unconscious smiles when Mark was in the midst of a story no one else was listening to. If it was that imperceptible, then you were confident Mark was none the wiser, and that’s all that mattered. God forbid you liked someone like Jaemin, what with his sixth sense being reading you like an open book. 

You spend the next half hour in a fit of anxiety, forcing yourself to finish your makeup and getting dressed. Every moment you’re doing something repetitive, you find your thoughts drifting to who Donghyuck might have sent to go to the con with you. With each possible choice, your heart thumps louder in your chest. Who could he have possibly picked, and moreover, who would have even bothered to say yes to him?

You’re just about finished with setting on your wig when the doorbell rings, and you’re quick on your feet to go get it. Just as you get to the front door, you pause. You haven’t got the faintest idea what might be waiting for you on the other side of that door, of what might be lurking and deciding your fate for the rest of the day. You don’t know what you’re in for, and the only thing to do now is get it over with.

Tugging the door open tentatively, you’re met with the back of a head of shaggy chestnut hair haphazardly tucked into a bleach-blond braided wig. It’s clear that whoever Donghyuck had sent your way couldn’t have been able to get ready in half an hour on such short notice. They’re dressed in the armor that Donghyuck usually wears, and you can see the tiny details that had since been added to complete the look more. You’re unsure why they’re faced away from you, that is, until you hear a muttering voice saying “you can do this, you can do this” on repeat. 

Your earlier anxiety is replaced with curiosity. You clear your throat to catch their attention and- oh.

With the makeup Donghyuck applied (heavy eyeliner, glimmering cheekbones doused in golden highlight, dramatic mascara), you almost don’t recognize Mark as Mark until his familiar voice reaches you, “H-Hyuck said you’d help with the wig…?”

“This place is so awesome- another Deadpool! That’s the third one we’ve seen since we got here!” You feel momentarily glad that a train of Spidermans (Spidermen?) haven’t come through yet because you’re fairly certain Mark would lose his absolute mind if they did. In fact, just as you think you’re in the clear, a cluster of them enter from one side of the con and you begin tugging Mark in the other direction before he can notice. 

Honestly, showing Mark his first con is a bit like showing a baby their first “magic trick”; he’s all wide eyes and squealing, and while it’s freaking cute (I mean, how could anyone be that adorable while gushing over how realistic the fake blood looks on someone’s samurai sword?), you’re unfortunately in a perpetual state of worry, a feeling you haven’t felt since your first few conventions with Donghyuck. You worry that people will notice you, will want to take pictures of you, and you worry that those who recognize you will then recognize that the boy beside you is definitely not Donghyuck and be upset.

Mark had made it very clear on the ride to the con that he was more than happy to accompany you and take Donghyuck’s place, but he also placed great emphasis on the fact that he had absolutely no idea who he was dressed up as and would be more of a dead weight at your side than part of a complete pair. He’d stressed time and time again that he’d be willing to get on his bike and head home if you decided to go in alone, but by then you were receiving threatening texts from Donghyuck that promised more than just a royal smackdown if Mark turned up at his door before the day was over. 

Why Donghyuck was so insistent on you attending the con with Mark was beyond you, but you very well couldn’t turn tail and run now. 

The firecracker made an apologetic post before you arrived detailing the reasons he wouldn’t be attending, encouraging others to still seek you and your new “friend” out for pictures. He even asked to be tagged in them. It was almost like he was… no, that couldn’t be right, could it?

Whatever diabolical plan the kid had up his sleeve, you had other things to worry about. 

“I know some of these characters,” Mark points out as you both stroll through the large room, completely tuned out to the shouted compliments he was receiving on his outfit, “maybe I should come to these things more often… but I don’t really have the talent to dress up like you and Hyuck.”

You just finish greeting a few people who recognize you when he says this. Glancing up at the boy, he doesn’t pay any mind with his arm hooked around your own, still surveying the room for things he’s familiar with.

“You don’t have to dress up to go to cons, Mark! They’re open to everyone.” You even point out a few people in jeans and tees, all having a fun enough time just being around people who like the same things they do, “It’s about having fun. Some people have fun in costumes, others not so much.”

“Well, yeah, but…” Mark trails off a little, making eye contact with you for a moment. You read him as being nervous, those gentle eyes not daring to look your way. You wonder if you’ve said something wrong. “…I don’t know. I wouldn’t mind going to something like this with you… and Hyuck too, of course… but I’d feel so out of place. You know? You guys go all out, like really all out.”

You aren’t able to ask him to elaborate on his thoughts because a pair of girls rush up to you immediately upon spotting you, calling your name with a mix of excitement and nerves. You shoot Mark an apologetic look for leaving him hanging and quickly greet the girls, the both of them asking if it’s alright to take photos. You grant them the permission, doing your character’s signature poses and even doing some silly selfies with the girls just for fun. Your nervousness of not having Donghyuck there is starting to melt away a bit, but leaving Mark all alone nudges at the back of your mind while you have all the fun. 

You’re sending the girls off finally when you turn to find Mark standing like a deer in headlights, more than a few people standing around him and applauding his outfit. Some mention how he looks so much like Egi, others saying how he plays the stoic king perfectly. You’re glad they can’t tell because Mark is having a brain fart over what to say or do without you present and it’s really kinda cute.

You sidle up to the boy and he immediately slackens his tense shoulders when you start to speak, “Our friend made the outfit!”

One guy in leather pants and and slicked back hair is really impressed, shifting to the side while a greatsword hangs off his shoulder lazily, “That’s so cool. Can we get a pic of you two?”

Your knee jerk reaction is to say yes; you’re always proud to take photos in your costumes. After all, you put so much work into them. However, you quickly remember that this isn’t just you and Donghyuck right now, con veterans who get their pictures taken at every con like usual. Mark is new to this and has already voiced his uncertainty with “playing” the role of Egi.

Readying yourself to turn them down, you’re surprised when Mark suddenly chirps in instead with a “Sure!”

There’s a shaky smile on his face, the nerves very clear in his eyes but he does his damn best to hide it when you give him a concerned look. You ask him with your eyes if it’s really okay, and his answer is an almost too-tight grip on your waist with one hand while the other rises to make a peace sign. You and the others know that his character would never make such a gesture, but the entire group bursts into giggles at it anyway. They snap pics of you in a few more silly than serious poses and are on their way, thanking you for your time and disappearing to find the next cosplayer to talk to. 

Mark doesn’t remember to release your side, his smile bordering on beaming, “That was actually really fun!”

How the mousy boy has suddenly found all the confidence in the world isn’t totally beyond you. You remember your first times cosplaying in public and being approached by so many kind people boosting your self-esteem that it made your nerves turn to mush and your excitement skyrocket. Even though Mark is red from his neck to his ears, he’s also grinning like an absolute fool. You can’t help but return the same enthusiasm, “Wanna walk around some more?”

He nods vigorously, tugging you along and bursting with questions about Egi all of a sudden (”How long has he been king? He’s in love with Greer, right? How did they fall in love?”). In between canon and non-canon explanations for it all, you get stopped by all kinds of people. You’re starting to lose count of the amount of pictures you’ve had taken, and Mark is so much more relaxed than when he first came in. You almost forget you’re not with Donghyuck… keyword: almost.

“Do you mind reenacting the kiss from season 3, episode 12? I always thought the kisses you and Donghyuck shared were so cute, but I haven’t seen you do this one yet!”

You’re aware that Mark is looking at you, but you’re frozen still. You had an inkling that you’d forgotten to tell him something important while showing Mark the pictures of you and Donghyuck cosplaying as Greer and Egi. Of course, the one thing you’d forget in your haste to get Mark all caught up on what he’d have to do was the one thing that actually mattered.

Every kiss you shared with Donghyuck was always innocent in nature and intention; never had you indulged in the fact that you and Donghyuck had lip-locked on more than one occasion all for the sake of the cosplay and staying in character. Silly kisses and reenactments for fans and photoshoots was all that it was, and at the end of the day, it meant nothing. Tons of cosplayers did the same all the time! 

But, knowing that the others still followed your cosplay accounts to be the good friends that they were, neither you nor Donghyuck would ever post those kinds of pictures on your accounts. Ever. Which is why, when showing Mark your collection of photoshoots and the like, you had completely forgotten that some fans would ask for a quick kiss or two. 

The fan’s smile seems to fall the longer it takes you to answer and she hastens to fix the atmosphere, “I-I’m sorry! I realized you’re with someone else this time but I still wanted to ask… I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.”

Desperately, you want to tell her you’re not offended at all. That it’s not her fault. That if you had remembered this tiny detail about your cosplaying (in your defense, it was always such a nonchalant part of the entire cosplay that you didn’t find the need in making a big deal about it anyway) and warned Mark about it or even let Mark go back home in favor of attending by yourself, you wouldn’t be stuck here gaping at her like a blowfish at the very thought of kissing Mark Lee, your Mark Lee, your crush-who-doesn’t-know-he’s-a-crush-and-neither-does-anyone-else-but-goddamn-Donghyuck crush. Well, at least the thought of doing so in a situation where the opportunity is actually there and not just a daydream of yours again.

The words refuse to leave your lips and now it’s just getting awkward. Are you sweating? You’re pretty sure you’re going to perspire right through the pound of makeup it took to give yourself Greer’s battle scars and shining skin. 

“…episode 12, you said?” You hear Mark ask. You make out the fan showing him her phone with a picture of said kiss. You probably also remember watching that episode and fawning over it with Donghyuck over text when it first aired but now the entire thing is lost on you.

Next thing you know, Mark is carefully turning you around by a hold on your hips and you’re completely pliant as he does. A few people are standing around now, looking on, and is he…?

“Is this okay?” Mark asks, setting one hand on the back of your neck while his free arm hooks you around the middle loosely. He’s in position, but he isn’t putting in the work until you answer.

It’s okay, you find yourself thinking instead of actually saying, this is so okay. I also might have a stroke if you really put your mouth on mine so I hope that’s okay too. 

In that moment, you’re absolutely certain that this was on Donghyuck’s mind since this morning. You know that he was prepared for it, picking Mark for more than just being available. No, you know he picked Mark because he knows you like him, and he knows you wouldn’t tell him that you and Donghyuck kiss in costume sometimes for people because you’d forget under the pressure of being alone with Mark like that and you wouldn’t have the heart to send him home when he was so excited to go with you, would you?

Damn you, Lee Donghyuck. Damn you for helping fulfill even the nerdiest of my fantasies and damn you Mark Lee for playing along without a worry in the world (and for looking so… kissable).

You give him the go ahead, a small nod and a fluttering of eyelashes. The arm around your middle tightens and wakes you from your dazed state just in time to feel the absolute wave that washes over you when Mark Lee kisses you. You’ve forgotten how to breathe, you think. Maybe it’s because Mark is taking all of the air when his lips meet yours and he kisses you like he was the one who’d rewatched that stupid kissing scene over and over. You aren’t deaf to the hoots and hollers of the crowd; no, you never kissed Donghyuck like this and anyone who’s ever seen you cosplay with him would know that well. But even if you and Mark are total strangers to this crowd, everyone who stopped to watch is cheering you on like you’d just slain the dragon and won the heart of the handsome fairy king like all those heroes in the cheesy fantasies.

Mark pulls back, still holding you to his armored chest, but it’s only then you realize that the things are super huge and really in the way when he’s not kissing you anymore. Despite his feigned-cool expression, he’s totally shy and redder than ever. He turns to the fan who is covering her mouth in surprise, ���Was… that okay?”

“More than okay…” She breathes, and then sends a flurry of thank you’s your way and promises to tag you in the photos later. Somewhere in the midst of your after-kiss shock, Mark had given her his handle and she’d been on her way. The crowd of people watching began to disperse, though a few hung around to ask for pictures as well, politely waiting for the stars in your eyes to disappear. You really couldn’t focus on much when your lips still tingled the way they did. 

Mark starts to get concerned when you continue to stare at him like he’s grown two heads, “Hey, are you alright? I’m sorry for how forward that kiss was but… I uh…” The poor boy begins to forget how to speak halfway through, glimmers of the Mark you know and love coming through, “Well, you know. Sorry.”

He looks away from you, absolutely shameful. “Why?”

He looks up again, lips parted, “Oh… because I kissed you like that.”

“But I wanted you to,” you say softly, hands furiously wringing each other out behind your back, “and… I wouldn’t have given you the go ahead if I didn’t.”

This was starting to sound a lot like a confession. 

Mark studies you as you study him, the world around you practically nonexistent otherwise. Licking his lips, your eyes immediately follow the movement and you start to really miss them on yours. “I see.” He answers simply, at a loss. “Well, did you… like it?”

You nod, forcing yourself to look in his eyes for this part. Your mouth is moving on its own accord even as every cell in your body feels like it’s on fire. “Hyuck doesn’t quite kiss like that.”

Mark’s eyes widen at the sudden mention of Donghyuck, “Oh, um, that’s- that’s good. I mean not good! Interesting, I meant interesting. God, um… I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with the fact that I just… did that to you. You’re my friend! Though, friends can kiss each other from time to time, right? I mean, I like you too so there’s that but- I- wait. Uh. Sorry.”

It’s comforting to know that you’re not the most awkward person right now at least, but you know that if you aren’t careful, you might confess to more than just liking him back, “Would you… would you like it if we kept… doing that… between us? Because I wouldn’t mind that. At all.”

“What about your cosplay with Hyuck? That girl said it’s your thing… I don’t want to get in the way of that.” Mark, bless his soul, is more worried about your hobby than the fact that you want to kiss him and him only. You couldn’t fall more for this boy if you tried. 

You twist back and forth in lieu of having something to do with your body that isn’t falling to the floor in a fit of nervous giggles and disbelief. If people got a photo of that, you’re certain you would be no more, “If I’m being honest, I’d really rather kiss you more than Donghyuck anyday.” “Oh? That’s good. That’s… that’s… good. Yeah, I’d rather you kiss me too.”

(1) Unread Message(s)

received: 7:42 p.m., april 14th, 2018

hyuckieee 🙈: I’m being tagged in so many photos of you and lee kissing, it’s kinda making me jealous

sent: 7:45 p.m., april 14th, 2018

you: what can i say? everyone knows who the superior lee is here

received: 7:45 p.m., april 14th, 2018

hyuckieee 🙈: TAKE IT BACK

[whole-dip]

The Amazing Adventurers of Spider-Man

As a third entry in my series analyzing theme park rides I wanted to take a step back in time and talk about one of my favorite rides ever made, The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man at Universal’s Islands of Adventure. This ride opened with the park in 1999 and is considered one of the best rides there, and until late last year was one of the most complex and well executed rides in Orlando. The ride to top it? Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance. Here’s the thing, both rides’ development was headed by Scott Trowbridge. While I won’t be specifically comparing the two in this piece, while riding the similarities are apparent. I still maintain though that Rise of the Resistance is closer to the Haunted Mansion’s DNA than Spidey’s. 

We begin in Marvel Superhero Island, an area themed to a very 90s comics version of New York City. We see massive cutouts of various heroes and villains, some of them even parading around on ATVs. The gigantic Hulk coaster soars above us and we hear the roars coming from the gamma experiments gone awry. Heavy bass and electric guitar wails are heard all around as. This is not a realistic take on Marvel comics, from the bright colors to the ginormous character cutouts, this is not Marvel come to life but rather, you standing inside a comic book. Think less MCU and more Dick Tracy. Despite how much this goes against the ideas of theme park immersion nowadays, it still works. Likely because this specific era of Marvel is exactly what I fell in love with as a kid, but still, it feels like all the X-treme glory of 90s comics, without any of the overly long and exhausting story arcs nobody cares for. 

The experience starts when you enter the headquarters of the Daily Bugle and make your way through the offices. You see the desks of all our favorite employees like Betty Brant and Ben Urich, the darkroom of the Bugle’s now in-house photographer Peter Parker, and of course the giant portrait of the paper’s editor in chief, J. Jonah Jameson. As you walk you’ll notice that all the phones are ringing off the hook and faxes are coming in. The TVs are all tuned to the news where the biggest theft in New York history is unfolding live. The Sinister Syndicate has been assembled by Doctor Octopus with the villains Hobgoblin, Electro, Hydroman, and Scream, and they’re wreaking absolute havoc on the city! Not only that, Doc Ock’s anti gravity gun has allowed him to steal the Statue of Liberty herself! On a night as crazy as this the Daily Bugle needs as many reporters as it can get so you’ve been recruited to go on the scene in a state of the art armored vehicle to get report from the frontline on the villains and what Spider-Man is doing to stop them. After getting briefed you exit into the alley behind the office building, board your vehicle, don your 3D glasses, and set out to get the story. 

This queue experience informs you of a LOT of things in a very short amount of time. During this time you’re learning who Spider-Man is, who the sinister syndicate is, who the members are, what each of their powers are, and what crimes they’ve committed. It’s all done incredibly efficiently because it’s delivered to you via the news report story mechanic. It’s a great excuse for characters to talk directly at you and explain exactly what you need to know. Further, everything is given in segments so you’re never taking in more than one point at a time. You’ll see a reporter talking about Hydroman, Hydroman attacking, and then it’ll cut to the same style of video for Electro, then Scream, and so on. For the theft of the statue of liberty, you actually see as Doc Ock steals it with his antigravity gun and the reporters immediately will comment wondering where in the city he could be hiding it. All of these segments are ended with Spider-Man stopping the attack, but the villains getting away. Teaching these things are super important because the ride is heavily depended on you having a clear understanding of the story and everything going on. Similarly, Rise of the Resistance is also a heavily story dependent ride, one that is even more complex because it contains multiple twists at the very beginning.

Your vehicle then takes off into the city, above you the shadow of Spider-Man swinging by can be seen, accompanied by the spider signal. Jameson orders you via radio to get a winning report and then suddenly Spider-Man himself jumps on to the hood of your car (with an accompanying lurch forward to account for his landing)! He warns you that this could be the most dangerous night of his life, and yours, and then swings away. Pressured by Jameson again, you pursue. After dodging an oncoming garbage truck and escaping into a seemingly abandoned warehouse, you find the deconstructed statue of liberty, and the sinister syndicate continuing their plans! Unfortunately for you, you’re caught and they each try to take you down. 

The ride system used here is a cool one. The actual vehicle you’re in is a multi axis motion simulator, it can move you forward, backward, left, right, rotate, and probably more that I’m not aware of. Not only that, it’s on a track and moves through the show building as would any other dark ride. The building itself is adorned with practical set pieces like walls, crates, statue of liberty pieces as well as screens. These screens are where characters appear and work together with practical effects to create full experience. For example, the garbage truck that your vehicle nearly crashes into is a real effect of an object coming towards you, but the driver window featuring a Stan Lee cameo is a screen. When Spider-Man lands on your vehicle your simply very close to a giant screen and your car moves perfectly in sync. Not only that, but each ride film does a process of “squinching” in which the perspective of the shot is perfectly synced with the movements of your ride vehicle to always have high amounts of depth, otherwise it would look like a flat video instead of the the 3D effect. This ride is constantly playing with perspective, I’ll explain more further on.

Each villain tries to personally stop you, Electro shocks your vehicle making it vibrate wildly, Scream nearly pounces on your car, Doc Ock attempts to shoot you with his anti gravity gun, Hydroman almost drowns you, and Hobgoblin tries to bomb you from the air. Luckily, Spider-Man is on the scene to prevent any harm as you make it out of the maze-like warehouse and back on to the street. 

Again, this section perfectly shows the ways the ride system, the screens, and the effects work in tandem. When Hobgoblin tosses a bomb at you and Spider-Man webs it away, you are looking at a screen, moving underneath a physical bridge, and the explosion is accompanied by a real fireball effect. Each villain gets their own separate moment to show off their powers and personally attack you. This further drives home exactly who they are and what they can do. That knowledge is crucial and will come into play soon.

Once out on the street, Doc Ock decides to go around Spider-Man and take your vehicle hostage. He uses his anti gravity gun to lift you up towards the rooftops of Manhattan while Spider-Man pursues in an attempt to rescue you. Right when Spidey webs your vehicle he’s snatched in the air by Hobgoblin on his glider and all of you are now flown through the urban canyons at incredible speed. The entire syndicate has now tied up Spider-Man to a rooftop and your vehicle is hanging by a thread as all the villains slowly encroach to take you down together. Suddenly, Spider-Man bursts from behind and uses the villains' powers against them. He webs Electro into Hydroman where the two of them shock each other and crash into Hobgoblin whose pumpkin bombs all explode at once, allowing Spider-Man to then take out Scream and Doc Ock. Just when everything seemed over, Doctor Octopus uses reverse his anti gravity gun to send your vehicle falling down from the skyscrapers and into ground! As your hurtle down and see the asphalt of your doom getting closer and closer, Spidey webs up a net as fast as he can spin it and your fall is safely cushioned just in time.

This sequence sequence is the most involved scene, perfect for the climax of the ride. Now that you know every character’s powers and personality, you’ve got all you need to know to understand how they work together without it being a pure mess. Not only that, the ride is comfortable playing with perspective as well to make you feel as though your altitude on the ride is changing too. When your vehicle is lifted up to the rooftops you’ll see a screen in front of you showing the ride film but on both sides are practical canvas backdrops like you’d find on movie sets depicting the windows of a New York high rise. Both backdrops are designed to roll at rapid speed giving the illusion of your vehicle flying upwards. The same effect works when your perspective is shited to that of hanging off the side of the building and looking up, as well as when you’re facing down towards the ground. In reality, the ride vehicle only ever moves six inches above the ground during the entire ride. This effect was revisited in Rise of the Resistance but significantly different. On that attraction your vehicle really does lift up roughly thirty feet above ground level before dropping back down later in the ride. 

Finally, back on the slightly safer streets of New York, Spider-Man hangs upside down in front of you, the sinister syndicate tightly wound up behind him and lady liberty being returned to her island. He congratulates you on your efforts before swinging away to turn over the bad guys, as your vehicle drives back you’ll hear Stan Lee instruct you on how to safely disembark and see that Spider-Man left the anti gravity gun pointed straight at Jameson in his office, the “raise” he’d been wanting for so long! The day is saved and Spider-Man couldn’t have done it without you.

The ride is perfectly bookended with the classic story of you helping out one of your favorite characters on what may seem like a crazy day for you but is just a typical one for them. This story was repeated in Rise of the Resistance, but it’s been a staple seen in attractions like Star Tours, Harry Potter and the Escape From Gringotts, Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout, and countless others. I will say though, it is almost exclusive to attractions based on film properties and is not very common on attractions with original stories and characters. Makes sense because it’s arguably the best way to create story in which large groups of people would be meeting and interacting with characters, but it makes one wonder if a different type of story might be introduced at some point. 

So there you have it, a brief overview of The Amazing Adventurers of Spider-Man at Universal Orlando’s Islands of Adventure. While I approached this one from the perspective of it being a precursor to Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance, there’s another attraction at Universal Studios next door that is structured almost like a response to one of the most classic Disney rides of all time. But I’ll leave that one for another time.

[theboeingdriver-blog]

LAST NIGHT I watched the Denzel Washington movie, ”Flight” with my girl, thinking that maybe it wouldn’t bother me as much as it did the first time I heard about it.

A nice idea since I can date my girl and at the same time, work on my analysis, but the movie was even more aggravating than the hearsay. I’m not sure who gets the bigger screw-job here: viewers, who are being lied to, but who may or may not care; airline pilots, whose profession is unrealistically portrayed; or nervous flyers, whose fears this movie will only compound.

First things first: this isn’t a movie review. I’ll leave that to the professional critics. I’m not Anthony Lane, and any attempts I make at dissecting “Flight” on its deeper cinematic merits, if there are any, are bound to fall short. I’m more than happy, however, to judge the film on its technical aspects: its cockpit scenes and its portrayal of airline pilots. And what I saw gets a firm thumbs-down.

I watched the movie online with an open mind. Really, I did. I long ago accepted that when it comes to planes and pilots, Hollywood never gets it right, and I was not expecting anything different this time. There’s a point, however, where you just can’t let things go. There is nothing funny about “Flight”, but should you hear howls of laughter coming from the back of the theater when you watched it back then, chances are there’s a pilot in the audience. Laughter, if not tears, is the only fair response to much of what the movie shows.

Above all else there’s the matter of Denzel Washington’s character, “Whip” Whitaker. Whip is a hotshot, sauced-up captain whose substance-abuse habit crash-lands him, quite literally, into a whole heap of trouble. Our anti-Sully is a guy who flies on the heels of a coke binge and pours his own cocktails in the galley. Whip is a cartoon, but the problem is that too many people watching this movie will take him seriously. The idea that such a reckless pilot might actually exist out there is hardwired into the imagination of the traveling public and unfortunately reinforced by rare but high-profile reports of commercial pilots who’ve been caught while under the influence.

Any number of pilots have indeed battled substance-abuse problems — as have professionals in every line of work — and over the years a much smaller number have been arrested after failing a Breathalyzer or blood-alcohol test. Incidents like these have nurtured a certain apocryphal stereotype: the pilot as hard-drinking renegade, with crow’s-feet flanking his eyes and a whisky-tempered drawl, a flask tucked into his luggage. When the image is so quick to form, it’s tempting to jump to conclusions: for every pilot who’s caught, there must be a dozen others out there getting away with it. Right?

Well, quite frankly, no. Intoxication isn’t something pilots play fast and loose with. Why would we, with our careers on the line? Violators are subject to immediate revocation of their pilot certificates, not to mention potential prison time. I will remind you that pilots are subject to random drug and alcohol testing, and I should also note that simply because a pilot is battling a substance-abuse problem, that does not mean he is flying while drunk or high. And he certainly isn’t mixing drinks in the galley. That is a huge and critical distinction. Passengers worry about all sorts of things, rational and otherwise, but trust me on this one: there’s no Whip Whitaker in the cockpit.

Why not? The rest of us wouldn’t tolerate such a dangerous colleague in our midst, for one thing. Neither would any pilot take the skies with somebody he or she knew to be under the influence. At one point, Whitaker’s copilot admits from his post-crash hospital bed to having known that his captain was drunk and high even before they’d taken off. Where’s a bucket of tomatoes when you need one?

In other words, a real-life Whitaker wouldn’t survive two minutes at an airline, and all commercial pilots — including, if not especially, those who’ve dealt with drug or alcohol addiction — should feel slandered by his ugly caricature.

The Federal Aviation Administration blood-alcohol limit for airline pilots is 0.04 percent, and we are banned from consuming alcohol within eight hours of reporting for duty. We must also comply with our employers’ in-house policies, which are usually stricter. Drug and alcohol tests are unannounced and common. Air carriers and unions like the Air Line Pilots Association have been very successful with proactive counseling programs that encourage pilots to seek treatment.

HIMS has treated more than 4,000 pilots, with only 10 percent to 12 percent of participants suffering relapse. It has kept alcohol out of the cockpit and has helped prevent the issue from being driven underground, where it’s more likely to be a safety problem.

But back to the movie…

The workplace dynamic between Whip Whitaker and his copilot, Ken Evans (Brian Geraghty), is another problem. In the cockpit, Whitaker is flip, arrogant, and condescending; Evans is meek and at times frightened and clueless. This is not how actual pilots behave and interact. Further, such a botched depiction only reinforces one of flying’s most irritating myths: the idea of the copilot as a sort of apprentice pilot who is on hand merely to help out and assist the captain.

Copilots are not trainees. They perform just as many takeoffs and landings as captains do, and they are fully certified to operate the aircraft in all phases of flight. In fact, due to the peculiarities of the seniority bidding that determines almost everything in a pilot’s professional life, it’s not terribly uncommon for the copilot to be older and more experienced than the captain sitting next to him.

The cockpit scenes otherwise range from borderline realistic to preposterous. The checklists, the procedural callouts, the chatter with air-traffic control, etc., are occasionally rendered correctly, if a bit over the top. But mostly they’re peculiar, and at times they are outright silly.

The early-on segment where Whitaker and Evans are battling through a storm is particularly egregious. I cannot begin to describe how wrong it is, from the absurd idea that you would actually increase to maximum flying speed to race between storm cells to Whitaker’s impetuous descent, which for some inexplicable reason he believes will help lead them safely through the weather — all without permission from air-traffic control. Are you kidding?

Minutes later we see the jet, its pitch controls jammed, nose diving unstoppably toward the ground. Whip saves the day by turning the plane upside down, then rolling it right side up again in time for a semi-successful crash landing in a field. The aerobatic magic here is something that escapes me, but what do I know? I’m just an airline pilot. The sequence is based loosely on the crash of Alaska Airlines flight 261 in January, 2000, when a jammed stabilizer jackscrew forced the McDonnell Douglas MD-83 into an unrecoverable dive. (Whitaker’s jet is a fictionalized version of the same plane, with some digitalized winglets attached.) The crew of Alaska 261 briefly attempted to regain control by flying inverted. Whatever aerobatic and aerodynamic possibilities exist here aren’t anything I can vouch for. If they do exist, surely “Flight” has overextended them.

I can let that one go, but I loved it when Whitaker, seconds away from impact, actually radios air-traffic control with the news: “We are in a dive!”

Thanks, Whip. I can only imagine a perplexed controller staring haplessly into a radar screen, not really sure what to say or do, wondering if perhaps he ought to have called in sick that day. In the real world, pilots in the throes of such an emergency wouldn’t be all that worried about what ATC has to say, and such a radio call would be about the last thing on their minds. For most of the film I was too mortified to actually laugh out loud, but that one got a cackle from me.

Presumably, the filmmakers worked with one or more consultants, who must have at least attempted to encourage accuracy. Wikipedia tells us that the late Lyle Shelton, a former stunt pilot, worked as a technical adviser. Perhaps Shelton could have told us more about that upside-down business, but he wasn’t an airline pilot, and it’s the cockpit details — the dramatization of airline SOP — where things fall short. I almost hate to say it, but even Airport ’75 — one of the quintessential air-disaster movies, in which Charlton Heston is helicoptered through a hole in a crippled 747 — did it better.

I’ll be told, perhaps, that I need to relax, and that the movie ought be judged beyond its technical shortcomings. Normally I would agree, and for the average lay viewer it will hardly matter at all. I’m happy to allow a little artistic license. We should expect it, and some light fudging of the facts can be necessary, to a degree, for a film like this to work. Honestly, I’m not that much of a fussbudget. The trouble with “Flight” is that the filmmakers seem to have hardly tried.

And why not? Would it really have been that difficult? Would it really have diminished the picture’s storyline or its gravity? I think not.