#they treat me so differently than my friends..
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I use a gas tank as my personal metaphor (I live in an area where cars are basically necessary due to—well we wont get into that)
Everyone has different sized tanks with different fuel efficiencies and different levels of fullness and sometimes you have a different car or you didn’t fill up recently. These translate to our energy and how much we can do, if we’ve been taking care of ourselves well enough and resting enough.
Some tasks are more fuel efficient (like using the highway over city driving) while others eat up your gas (towing heavy things up hill). These translate to activities where hanging out in your jammies with safe people is less likely to make me feel like death warmed over than going to work or to the grocery store.
And sometimes you run on fumes. The car can still go (in the metaphor) but it will damage the engine. And if you’re not careful, it will be irreparable. Same goes for our bodies. Yeah, I can keep going after ive declared “I think I need to be done” but even if I am smiling and laughing, im feeling sick and I know the next couple days are going to suck so bad.
I personally feel like this works further in that, if you never let your tank go below half, sure youre never empty but (youre missing out on things and )its a little more expensive, but when you DO go over half, your car can act weird(your mind and body arent used to the activity so you may struggle more etc). And if you leave a car sitting for a long time, it can stop functioning entirely.
Tldr: I love all the options for theories, treat yourself kindly, be aware that you and your friends may be running on fumes, etc
One thing I don't think the Spoon metaphor has helped able-bodied people understand is that you can overdraw.
Generally, for most conditions, running out of spoons doesn't mean you collapse, doesn't produce an effect they can actually see. What it means is that you run on life support, quite possibly unsafely, until you get to a safe place and can stop. But you'll owe those spoons back, with interest. You'll have hurt yourself to do it.
Sometimes I hang out with a friend and they'll be like, wow, I'm really glad you had a good day. And I have to decide whether to make them feel bad by explaining that in fact they did not catch me on a good day, and tomorrow will probably be bad. I just made choices.
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Cumplane friendship, maybe a more idk hear me out—
Shen Yuan knows Mobei-Jun hits Shang Qinghua. He has seen the bruises. He also knows this is supposed to be a normal behavior amongst demon kind.
Call him stupid but for a long time he thought Airplane had no issues with it. I mean, they are cultivators, right? They can heal fast. It’s nothing. Also, Airplane told him it was fine. Mobei-jun and him went way back. It was the way things were.
Mobei-jun was a King. Qinghua was his servant.
Simple as that.
None of the other cultivators seem to worry either, so why should he? Everything was fine. Everything was normal.
Until today.
It began as a simple meeting. The demon lords were discussing the recent changes in politics as Binghe and Mobei listened to their complaints. Then Airplane intervened, made a few comments and next thing Shen Qingqiu knows his friend is lying on the floor shaking.
None of the demons bat an eye, not even his darling husband. Why should they? Shang Qinghua is nothing more than a servant.
But Shen Yuan…
He’s heard about it, has seen the bruises already but it still shocks him to the core. Witnessing in person the abuse… Shang Qinghua didn’t even try to stop it. He just closed his eyes and let Mobei struck him.
Qinghua lays on the floor. Shaking, rapid breathing. He looks so scared and heartbroken. But mostly humiliated. The way he lowers his head as if trying to seem smaller and puts his arms around himself trying to protect his body as if expecting another vicious blow it’s too much for him.
Shen Yuan hates it.
Without thinking he takes his fan about and sends a strong and quick wave of power that knocks Mobei. The King taken by surprise is unable to stop the attack and hits the wall.
“Airplane!” SQQ calls as he rans towards his friend. He kneels beside him and delicately touches his cheek.
Shang Qinghua looks at him with tears in his eyes and it only fuels his anger.
“Shizun!” His husband calls no doubt running after him like a puppy. Shen Qingqiu does not turn away from Qinghua.
“Shen Yuan? Why… why did you..?”
“Don’t ask stupid questions.”
“But my King…!”
“No longer will be your King.” He declares and his tone is so final that SQH can’t find the words to fight against it. There’s a unspoken understanding.
Mobei Jun finally gets up and approaches them with a snarl on his face. Before he could get closer Binghe steps in between and lets out a terrifying growl. Mobei stops, but looks directly at SQQ as he speaks.
“You dare—!”
“Yes, I fucking dare! You can’t hit this royal consort shidi and expect no consequences.”
“This king can do whatever he wants with his property!”
“Well, this royal consort has decided he does not belong to you anymore.”
“He’s my servant—“
“And you are my husband’s servant. Therefore you will obey me.“
.
That’s all I have but yeah the general outline is SQQ takes SQH with him and LBG is pretty confused? Jealous? But also aroused because his shizun looks so damn hot when he acts protective and strong around Shang-shishu, and maybe the other peak lord is not so bad ???!! On the other hand MBJ is losing his head. He wants, needs SQH back. In his eyes he was just treating him as any other demon. LBG then helps him understand the cultural differences. Now he wants to make amends but in order to get closer to SQH he needs to win SQQ approval first. And no, he won’t make it easy since he has being working hard to help SQH earn some fucking self respect and maybe falling a little in love with him.
Yeah this ended up being a poycule lol.
((Anyone can use this idea if they want just leave me the Ao3 link lol ))
#mxtx svsss#svsss#svsss fanfiction#svsss luo binghe#svsss shen qingqiu#shen qingqiu#shang qinghua#svsss shang qinghua#mobei jun#svsss mobei jun#prompt#cumplane#cumplane friendship#airplane shooting towards the sky#Shen yuan
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"Ice Princess"
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Ice Princess by Uzumaki Rebellion
Pairing: Erik "Killmonger" Stevens x Black Female OC
Warning(s): 18+, Explicit Sex, Murder, Mayhem, Blood, Violence, Action/Adventure, Thriller, All Dat Good Shit. Grown Folks Only.
Summary:
Portia Keith has it all. A rich boyfriend. An impressive sugar baby allowance. Shopping trips around the world on private jets and more. Every day is spent living in the lap of luxury. For a special holiday trip, her boyfriend gifts her with a private yacht cruise on the Aegean Sea to ring in the New Year with friends.
In order to keep the wealthy party-goers safe, private security is hired to protect the good times, and the spoiled diva encounters the gruff ex-Special Ops soldier, Erik Killmonger, who has no time to coddle a spoiled, coolheaded socialite. Chaos erupts when the yacht is hijacked by ruthless modern-day pirates, and Portia has to learn to leave her Ice Princess ways behind in order for Killmonger to get her back on land... alive.
Word count: 22.5K
"I'm so cold I'm dripping icicles
I go and take your man that nigga might miss you
Spent his whole commission on my neck and ear
To stand around me need to have ya winter gear
Pay me coats and benz's and that berg-ice
That's why I do not feel these bitches, frostbite
Grown money, ever since a youngin' made my own money
You broke honey, and they call me
Banks, cause I can loan money
Colder than December, my diamonds on
Anna WintourSo that's fly ice in my life"
Azealia Banks – "Ice Princess"
Erik Killmonger nearly turned down the job.
Floating around some Greek islands in and around the Aegean Sea for a week babysitting some rich bitches was not his dream gig. Some guns for hire might enjoy the laid-back assignment full of sunshine and sparkling azure waters, but he learned enough over the years that working for wealthy pampered civilians was a pain in the ass. They treated security like servant extensions, and he was not interested in an environment like that. He was accustomed to covert jobs that kept his blood pumping and his mind sharp. There were long-term goals that required him to be with a different mix around the Middle East and real action.
But his homeboy Clark wanted to keep the contract with James Quinton, the multi-millionaire from Silicon Valley who pioneered new bleeding-edge technology in computer processing. For about seven years, he had been a celebrated tech wiz, one of the few Black men successfully cashing out of the grind hustle culture. Killmonger kept up with the man's accomplishments and compared them with his own. As a graduate of M.I.T. and a certified genius with MENSA, the secret Wakandan prince would've probably become another James Quinton himself if his life hadn't been disrupted by trauma and loss. The chips fell where they did, and Killmonger bided his time searching for Ulysses Klaue and working as expensive hired security. Clark nagged at him.
"Man, I'm stretched thin. They want discretion and the best. That's you. I know you were supposed to start leave for a week to recuperate from that Lagos job, but there's some sketchy action happening around the Mediterranean, and your Navy SEAL experience is needed… just in case," Clark said on a satellite call.
Killmonger sat in his closet-sized studio that acted as a storage locker for his gear instead of a home. Constantly on the go, and on the grind, he listened to Clark reclining in his Lazy-Boy chair with a glass tumbler of prime whiskey in his hand.
"You'll ring the New Year in a beautiful atmosphere. Relaxed and peaceful. The bonus holiday pay is great. Please, I need this contract fulfilled. This man knows a lot of billionaires and I could use the referrals… new contacts. Plus, you're good-looking," Clark continued.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Killmonger said, sipping on his drink.
"Look over the file I sent you online. It gives details about the yacht you'll be protecting, and also the rest of the clientele."
"That still ain't got nothing to do with my looks," Killmonger grumbled.
"Pretty girls like good-looking men. That's all I'm saying. You might get lucky compared to the other goons I got," Clark said.
Killmonger closed his eyes and gave an exasperated sigh. The studio apartment felt cramped and joyless.
"I'll throw in another bonus for the short notice," Clark insisted.
"How many people onboard?"
"It's a private New Year's party, eight guests, and the yacht staff of four. You'll have your own cabin. You'll lead everything with Sherman and Banks working under you. Giving you the best—"
"Just three men?"
Killmonger lifted his laptop from a small table next to his chair. He logged onto his dark web email account and scrolled images of the yacht. Looking at the dimensions and pictures, Killmonger put down his glass.
"I need at least three more men."
"I can pull at least one more for you—"
"Gotta have five total under me to make this work, especially with us going to a new hot spot."
"The Greek government and the Turkish government have been doing extra sea patrols. James Quinton hasn't mentioned going anywhere for the holidays and I urged him to place his social media engagement on pause for the week until they end their holiday. It'll be a vacation for you. In fact, you could just supervise and chill."
Killmonger knocked back the rest of his liquor.
"Okay, I'll do it. Get me five men."
He hung up and checked the files of James Quinton on his own cryptic software. Quinton liked to stunt his wealth. The man posted photos and corny quotes at least ten times a day on all of his social media platforms. It was the ones with his girlfriend that worried Killmonger.
Portia Keith.
Online, she was known as the Ice Princess. Her beauty and personality were so cold that she had a reputation for being a femme fatale with a rich man's wallet. She had been linked to a few celebrities in the past but had moved her pampered ways to men with deeper and consistent pockets. She rarely spoke in public and showed up to haute couture fashion shows all across the globe. Killmonger couldn't figure out exactly what she did to make men clamor for her and pop culture gossip blogs to want to follow her daily jaunts as a sugar baby with James Quinton.
He stared at a few pictures.
Ma definitely had a face card that would never decline. Medium height, a medium copper brown complexion that turned a pretty darker hue in the sun. Body looked all natural and not the cringy build-a-bitch looks women paid top dollar for. Portia had tits and a nice ass that matched her thighs. She liked provocative looks and expensive things. Quinton gave her everything and baby girl wasn't denied anything according to the photos he peeped on her platforms. There was a crew of girlfriends she jaunted around with, and in every picture, Portia was the center of attention. The face of a model on par with Naomi Campbell, and the body of a vixen bent on destroying hearts and dicks. She stayed dripped in diamonds every day from head to toe. Most men couldn't afford her and several tried to keep her until Quinton snatched her up with the bank account that kept her flaunting her beauty and body.
That face, though? Killmonger couldn't stop staring at it. Her eyes were cool dark windows that gave away nothing. The kind of eyes that cut niggas down if they weren't on point. Her round nose was slightly upturned in a natural haughtiness, but her lips were the deadliest weapons in her arsenal. Killmonger's lips parted as he licked his canine slugs that matched the bottom ones made of pure gold. Portia's lips looked like they could make a dick cry if she sucked on it. Her nickname fit the vibe she gave off, and he wondered what Quinton had besides money to keep that sophisticated sugar baby close.
Killmonger checked the gossip sites and scrolled pages and pages of rumors that Portia and Quinton were having issues and possibly on the outs. He guessed the private New Year's trip was Quinton's way of keeping her, especially with the gossipmongers bubbling with sightings of her having lunch with an Italian billionaire.
Killmonger poured himself a fresh drink, then checked flight schedules on Delta Airlines.
Portia Keith pouted all the way to Greece on her boyfriend's private Gulfstream jet. Scrolling her social media feeds while holding her apricot-colored Pomeranian Mimi, she fumed at the gossip page listing her and Quinton on a site that criticized the super-rich for ruining the climate with their wasteful private flights and hoarding of resources. Her bestie Jodie patted her thigh and told her to ignore the haters.
One thing Portia always did was cultivate a scandal-free reputation. She prided herself on being a carefree Black woman leading a luxury movement for other Black women that had them raising their standards against unqualified men. Accused of only promoting hypergamy and a sugar baby lifestyle, she let people talk their shit because it only brought luxury brands her way courting her favors to use and promote their goods for free. Her exquisite face launched products like no other, and the quiet mystique she crafted with razor precision could not tolerate slander with her image. It wasn't her jet. It was Quinton's. Rich people had to protect themselves and taking commercial airlines with the poors was so… gauche. Especially for bad bitches like herself. The income brackets she played in were fifty million and above, and the low bar of fifty million was just being polite. Not bad for a country girl with tidewater roots and access to an excellent finishing school that prepped her for the lifestyle she led.
Portia left Charleston, South Carolina, with a finance degree from Clemson University and never looked back. Landing a job working under the Director of Finance and Operations for Conde Nast, she labored around the folks who ran Vogue Magazine. A chance encounter during New York Fashion Week launched her new career as a pampered princess. The paparazzi snapped a candid shot of her walking near Anna Wintour wearing a layered sable Balenciaga romper. They both wore the same dark Chanel sunglasses, and a fashion mag begged the question, "Who wore it better?" Before his passing, André Leon Talley exalted her style sense and overnight, Portia became the new "It" girl, the mysterious fashionista who was too short to be a model, but too glamorous to be a simple finance department worker.
She jumped on the parasocial relationship with the New York fashion scene and made sure she appeared at big events. Using a lame-ass rapper who liked to rock oversized ice, she taught him how to dress better, and spent his money on a better investment… her. She put him on to better fashion, better food, and better jewelry. It helped broaden his brand and snag a movie role. She bounced from him to a Hollywood Executive who flaunted her at Oscar parties and she kept her mouth shut and her eyes wide open for new marks. Stacking other people's paper and collecting custom diamond jewelry that became her signature trademark was a lofty career in her early twenties. Portia was nearing the end of her roaring twenties and she had to upgrade her prospects to older men with healthy long-term portfolios. Hollywood and celebrity wealth were fleeting, often feast and famine. New prospects were needed and her finance education led her to San Francisco and tech Daddies. The trade-offs were dull, less attractive men, but fatter pockets.
Then Quinton appeared on a Forbes magazine cover.
Dollar signs flashed in her eyes. She called in favors to get invited to a tech gala and projected her icy exterior onto a man who was rich and above average. New money cleaned him up, but her looks, nimble fingers, and optimum sex magic snagged her a baller on the rise. If she drank enough liquor and squinted her eyes just so, he could almost pass as a poor man's skinny Trevante Rhodes. But that squint had to be hard and the liquor extra strong.
She glanced over at Quinton.
He bored her now.
Quinton was thirty, only four years older than her, but he acted like he was fifty, worrying about his declining fortune all the time. He got caught up in some bad cryptocurrency deals and took a hit on some poor stock market advice. The man pretended that everything was okay financially, but Portia could smell the oncoming of poverty one hundred miles away. Yet she still ran his pockets one last time with the trip she wanted for herself and her girls. She had a couple of boyfriend replacements already on deck and planned to jump ship after the New Year. Broke didn't look good on her and she wasn't built for struggle love or struggle pockets. A baddie always had a graceful contingency exit plan. She sighed loud enough for Quinton to notice her restlessness. Her gaze glossed over his hairline, which was beating a hasty retreat to the back of his neck. What had once been a full head of cropped waves had turned into phantom follicles that gave up on him faster than she did. He had aged so quickly in the two years she'd been with him that she could mistake him for his own father nowadays. Pity. Portia thought she'd stay with him for at least a few more years to see if he could stack his paper higher past the eighty million he was worth when she met him. Alas, that was not to be.
Quinton put down the computer tablet he had his nose buried in and clasped her hand. His eyes were already bloodshot from drinking and anxiousness. Things were probably going downhill faster.
"We're about to land, baby. Have patience," he said.
Her girlfriends giggled and drank martinis behind them. Portia ran a diamond-studded finger up his arm. Mimi whined on her lap.
"Will you give me anything special for New Year's Day?" she purred.
Quinton grinned.
"I have a lot planned for you," he winked.
At least he was going out with a bang, she thought. He was spoiling her one last time, unbeknownst to him. A part of her wondered if she should feel pity for milking him dry until he went belly up. It was the nature of the game, and he knew fully that to keep a woman like her, he had to keep his coins up. She kissed his cheek and her stomach dropped. They were descending.
Their landing was swift, and they were all transported to a launch dock where Quinton's brand-new custom yacht waited for them on tranquil turquoise waters. Seeing the ship, Portia couldn't help but get excited and jump about like a kid with her friends as she held Mimi in her personalized pink Fendi doggy purse. Quinton's three male friends ogled the women through their sheer beach cover-ups. Their teeny-weeny bikinis left little to the lascivious imagination. Portia patted her designer cornrows studded with pink diamond hair jewelry that matched Mimi's pink diamond collar. The ends of her jeweled braids extended past her back, and she flung her natural hair around and waited to board the yacht.
A staff member waited on the main deck of the ship with a tray of mixed drinks in a crisp eggshell white maritime uniform of a starched shirt and knee-length shorts. Portia grabbed the first glass and her gaze drifted over to the tall Black man wearing a hot as hell black military uniform holding a colt commando automatic weapon. His glossy locs framed a gruff, bearded face with a scowl on his thick lips.
"Ohmigod, Quinton. Is this really necessary? Mood killer," Portia complained.
She released Mimi to run around and handed her purse to another crew member. Quinton shook the security's hand. Scoping the yacht, Portia saw five more similar men spread behind the first one.
"Killmonger, correct?" Quinton said.
"Correct," Killmonger said.
"Just Killmonger?" Portia asked.
"Just Killmonger," he answered in a rough tone.
Quinton turned to all of his guests as they mingled and admired the surrounding luxury. The five other security team members dispersed to their stations. Only Killmonger remained. Quinton held out his hands to show off his big, shiny toy.
"As I told all of you, we'll be completely protected. I know there have been rumblings of issues in this region, but I hired some serious security. Enjoy yourselves! Wander around for a bit and they will place your luggage in your cabins. Lunch in an hour!" Quinton said.
"Hold up," Killmonger said.
Everyone stopped chatting and froze with their refreshing drinks.
"We need to go over a safety drill," Killmonger said.
Quinton glanced at his watch.
"Now? Can it wait until after lunch?"
"No," Killmonger said.
"Where would you like us to be?" Quinton asked.
"Head to the stern, please," Killmonger said, pointing to the back of the yacht.
The others headed in that direction. Portia sauntered past him in the opposite direction.
"I'm going to settle in," she said, rolling her eyes.
Killmonger snatched up her arm so quickly that it knocked the breath out of her. She didn't know a human could move that fast. He held her close to his chest as his other hand gripped his weapon.
"See, you're the type of woman who makes the job difficult by being a brat," he snapped.
"You can't talk to me like that!" she hissed, trying to jerk her arm away. It was like fighting an immobile mountain.
"I'm here to protect your good time. We practice drills for a reason."
She exhaled hard when she noticed his teeth. Sharp gold canine slugs on his top and bottom teeth.
"I could have my man sue you for assault," she bitched.
"Do it," he said.
Portia blinked fast several times.
"Do you know who James Quinton is? He could ruin you!" she bellowed, squirming in his grip.
"I'm here to make sure you rich people don't get bothered. I'm the best at that and I'd appreciate your cooperation with the safety drill. It'll only take twenty minutes of your precious spoiled time," he barked.
"Portia?"
Her friend Chelsea called for her.
Killmonger released her arm, and Portia looked up into his face. Narrow, heated eyes peered down at her.
"Let's go, princess," he said, swaggering past her and slinging his weapon over his shoulder.
Portia stared at his wide back and clenched her teeth. She threw her martini glass over the side of the yacht in anger and balled up her fists. Prepared to raise hell with Quinton over the manhandling, she huffed under her breath in anger and stomped her Gucci slides when Killmonger glanced back at her and… smiled, flashing those gold slugs.
Portia halted her steps. The fuck was he smiling at?
And why was she getting aroused by it?
She was a piece of work.
Killmonger knew from jump that Portia would be a problem needing an attitude adjustment. He checked her real quick the moment she mouthed off about not following safety rules that had to be enforced in case of an emergency. She gave him a glacial stare during his short introductory speech on how the trip would run among the security team, and he took them down the stairs that led to a sunbathing deck. There was an emergency escape door that led to an eleven meters long military rigid hull inflatable boat under the yacht that could hold three crew and eight passengers. It had an M60 7.62mm machine gun, an MK19 40mm, and an M2 .50 cal. machine gun armament attached to it. The boat could do forty knots with six in-line cylinder diesel engines. It was an extreme weather craft and Killmonger made them all jump inside of it to get a feel of how they would ride it in case of an emergency exit. He pointed out life vests and showed them the scuba gear his men had available to check for underwater threats.
Once Portia realized they were the real deal, she fixed her face to look less bitchy and bothered. Killmonger was concise and professional and he impressed all the guests with his background and training. He spoke to his team to go over work shifts, breaks, and overnight watch duty. Taking the first shift watch on the main deck, he kept his guard up while the yacht started its adventure away from the Greek port and out into the open sea. The captain of the ship introduced himself and his staff after lunch and their first port of call was Athens, and then they would head to Crete. They would spend the rest of their time tooling around on the open sea and shooting off fireworks on New Year's Eve.
The women wasted no time throwing off their bikini covers and rushing over to sunbathe topless on cushy recliners. An annoying little dog ran around barking and finally jumped on Portia's thighs to sleep until it got too hot and it hid under her chair. He didn't mind watching the sea with binoculars and occasionally looking down at tits. They weren't shy about showing them, so he would not pretend he didn't notice. Quinton and his male buddies grabbed a bottle of top-shelf bourbon and headed to the other side of the yacht to smoke cigars on padded deck chairs. They were torn up by dinner, and by then, he was done with his work shift and free to relax and eat a meal in his cabin. A private chef brought him moussaka and white wine for dinner and galaktoboureko for dessert. It filled him up, and he took a quick shower afterward, then rested on his bed.
The party crowd became raucous and rowdy the later it became, and he changed into light linen pants and a cotton shirt to join them and check in with the night shift team. Music blared from speakers on the starboard side and he eased around to observe and also check out the night waters. The yacht had spotlights that surrounded the bottom of the boat, so there was a beautiful glow to the calm aquamarine water. The rest of the ship was lit up too, which concerned Killmonger. Nothing like advertising a luxury yacht filled with rich people. He was correct in requesting five men to work with him. They had various firearms, rocket-propelled grenades, and enough ammo to start a war at sea if needed. He relaxed after talking to the two men on shift. All was well.
He went for a stroll around the upper decks while the civilians headed down to the lower deck to spread out for cocktails on the main deck. A cool breeze blew past and ruffled his locs. He closed his eyes and faced it fully, luxuriating in the sensation.
"Oh… so you can look normal."
Killmonger opened his eyes and found Portia and one of her friends sitting on white barrel chairs with their legs kicked up on an olive green ottoman. She wore a short pumpkin-colored shift dress and her skin looked amazing from being in the sun all day. Playing with the hem of her extra short dress, he admired the elaborate diamond chips that decorated her long fingernails. She stayed adorned, and he appreciated the effort she took to look feminine and soft. Portia's friend looked cute in a short polka-dotted sun dress. Her hair was lifted in a high ponytail of cascading auburn curls that fell down over her slender shoulder.
He took the open seat next to the friend with a short table between them. There was a half-empty glass of red wine and a fresh unopened bottle next to it with a cork opener conveniently placed on top of it if she needed more.
"I can dress down when I'm not working," he said.
She smiled. The wine had relaxed her and she appeared less uptight. Crossing a seductive leg, he glimpsed her sexy thighs. She didn't have any panties on, and her mound was clean-shaven. He glanced away to pretend he saw nothing, but the smirk on her face told him she meant for him to see her pussy.
"Why aren't you two down with the others?" he asked.
"Needed a break. When you're always the life of the party like me, you need a little time off. Plus, they're talking about work and stocks. Tiana and I are not interested."
"That's so snoozefest," Tiana said, her light skin splotchy with sunburn marks.
"Your other friends seem intrigued by it."
"Those heffas?" Portia snorted. "They just want to appear interested to get attention. Carlos is worth half a billion. Ben two billion. Oh, and that loud mouth you hear right now? That's Stieg. He's a Scandinavian trust fund baby worth five billion. My girls are here to party with me, but make no mistake, they're fishing for a big fish of their own to catch up with me. They're bored out of their minds, but…."
Portia rubbed her fingers together to indicate cash. She stood up and walked down the stairs, leaving Killmonger with Tiana. He sat in silence for a moment before standing up to leave.
"You sure you'll be okay up here by yourself?" he asked, glancing over at the balcony.
Tiana looked heavily inebriated.
"I can hold my liquor," Tiana said.
"Alright then, I'll leave you to your bottle and privacy—"
He glanced over the railing and watched Portia saunter to the front of the yacht. For someone who stayed rude to him while he was on shift, her lax behavior at night intrigued him. Showing off her pussy had to be an amusing game to her. Killmonger liked what he saw and slid his wet tongue across a gold fang.
The rest of his rounds were completed, and he gave one of his men a twenty-minute smoke break starboard side once the guests had turned in to sleep. He took over the watch temporarily and cast his glances out toward the tranquility of the sea. Heavy breathing brought forth curiosity, and he strolled down to a lower deck to investigate.
Portia was on her back naked, legs spread wide as Quinton exerted desperate dick strokes inside of her.
"You're so good, baby. Yes, that's it," Portia said with lukewarm enthusiasm.
Her eyes faced the sea, and she offered no effort to reciprocate affections or even movement as her man pounded her. The detachment on her expressionless face bothered Killmonger. Quinton gave her the world and she couldn't be bothered to give some passion? Even if it was a fake? A true pillow princess, Portia laid there with minimal effort to even wiggle her hips. She managed to push her breasts together and jiggle them, but she refused to look at Quinton's face. The man stared at the fat titties and pumped his way to a sad orgasm. When he collapsed on top of Portia, she took her expensive nails and raked them on the back of his neck and cooed phony words of praise. A smug look painted her face.
Killmonger gripped the railing, and a surge of anger sparked inside of him. He wanted to wipe that petty smirk off Portia's face. He knew fully well that her relationship with Quinton was a transactional one based on the rules of patriarchy. Men bought women as commodities and arm candy all the time. Killmonger knew what the game was, and Ma played it like the pro she appeared to be. However, it irked him that Quinton didn't fuck the shit out of her and make Portia earn all of her riches from him.
Quinton rolled off of her on the wide sectional couch and pulled off the condom that sheathed his average-sized dick. He balled it up and tossed it onto the table next to them. Within seconds, he was fast asleep, and Portia rested her head on a throw pillow. Her eyes squinted in surprise when she noticed Killmonger looking down at them. She slid a finger to her pussy lips, teasing Killmonger by opening her legs wider so he could see all the wet pink of her succulent entrance. His lips twisted up and there was a tightening in his pants. She traced a finger in a wide circle around her folds, then licked her fingers, dropping them onto her nipples to tweak the tips. He gripped the front of his pants to adjust his dick, thinking of all the ways he would fold her body if he had the chance to teach her a lesson about teasing a nigga like him. Her writhing body was doing all the things she should've been doing for Quinton if she hadn't been a lazy fuck. Portia dipped her fingers inside of her pussy and pursed her lush lips as she watched his face grow more aroused watching her display of ridiculous seduction right next to her snoring boyfriend. But he couldn't look away. Her fingers spun magic as they played in her slick folds. She flicked her clit and widened her legs for him until she raised her arm up and flipped him off with a moist finger. Portia cackled and clutched at her stomach, delighted at her teasing. She grabbed the shift dress she had on earlier and put it on, leaving Quinton behind by himself on the sectional. Tossing the used condom in the sea with the flick of a diamond nail, her laughter floated up to Killmonger as she headed to her cabin.
"Bitch," he grumbled.
She had him going, toying with him by using her physical blessings against him long enough to tell him to fuck off. Portia wanted to play cat and mouse, thinking he was the silly little mouse. Little did she know she had a vicious panther on her hands.
They docked in Crete at the crack of dawn.
Killmonger had two of his team stay behind to watch the yacht, and the others dressed in civilian clothing to blend in and trail the women who went shopping and out for lunch with the billionaires and Quinton. The blistering heat didn't let up. He wiped the back of his neck and under his chin several times while tracking Quinton. Portia stayed on the yacht to sleep in late. Her man seemed to find his balls again when he wasn't around her. The passive energy disappeared, and he took on a personality with bravado, impressing Tiana, who laughed at his corny jokes. Their lunch break was long and Killmonger took time to smoke a cigar near an open market. He played tourist watching the surrounding activity, checking the time on his watch constantly, and checking in with the yacht.
In his peripheral he caught Quinton slinking out of the high-end restaurant and entering the luxury hotel next to it. Killmonger stayed put hidden behind a marble statue of Athena, keeping his steady gaze on his client. Quinton checked his surroundings before dashing into the hotel. Killmonger entered the hotel and discreetly shielded his body from the other tourists. Moments later, Tiana walked into the lobby and headed toward Quinton. The tech wiz grabbed Tiana's hand and they entered an elevator together. Killmonger grinned and left the hotel.
The pillow princess's man was getting better pussy elsewhere with her bestie. Killmonger shook his head and checked on the people milling around the hotel lobby. He stayed put until the illicit couple came back down the elevator twenty-five minutes later, fixing their rumpled clothes to look presentable again.
"Quick ass," Killmonger mumbled, sticking a piece of gum in his mouth to chase away the taste of cigar on his tongue.
The trip back to the yacht was uneventful an hour later, and Portia's girlfriends carried plenty of gift bags to commemorate their visit. Portia stood on the top deck with a martini glass in her hand wearing an alabaster knit bikini. A giant floppy sun hat shaded her face. She pranced around on her chunky platforms, waiting for her friends to share their bounty with her.
"Fuck," Killmonger uttered, staring up at her.
Her body was insane. The bikini top only covered her nipples, and the bottoms barely shielded her vulva. He licked his lips again, staring at how fat her pussy looked up there. Tiana was nothing compared to Portia, but Killmonger knew that a lot of beautiful women had trash box and men fucked with women who made them feel good. Looks had nothing to do with keeping a man in the long run. Plenty of mid-looking and ugly women had snatched away prizes from bombshells. Perhaps Portia needed a man with good dick to turn her out correctly. There was no way all that body was going to waste because some rich dude couldn't handle her spunk.
Portia caught him checking her out, and she leaned over the railing to eye him back. Killmonger sauntered to his cabin to change back into his serious work clothes. He checked in with the mercs left behind on duty and all reports were good. The ship's captain updated him with a weather report and soon they were back out at sea for the rest of the trip.
Quinton and Portia threw a costume-themed dinner party and everyone wore Mardi Gras masks and sipped champagne before devouring salty caviar, Kobe steak, and lobsters. The yacht staff hustled to please, but Portia became a bitch when things didn't go as smoothly as she wanted. She reamed one female server so badly for stepping on her dog Mimi by accident that the woman slunk away in tears. Quinton said nothing about the bullying and everyone else was too drunk to comment on anything. Portia snapped at two mercs while moving into their next party area for charades and Killmonger had enough of the poor attitude. When Portia went for a restroom break in her cabin, he followed her. She caught him waiting for her in the narrow hall.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
Her icy tone and polar stare made him want to flip her around and spank her ass like an insolent child being reprimanded by a fed-up parent.
"You need to check your tone with the staff and my men. These people are working hard—"
"Shut the fuck up, you simpin' bitch," she said.
Portia lifted the Mardi Gras mask onto her forehead and glared at him. Her little cat woman bikini costume showed off every curve, and he became distracted for a second by the veracity of her tone and demeanor. No woman had ever tried to come for him like that, especially one who didn't know him from Adam. Her breath smelled like the expensive French wine she had drank all night, and he considered her drunken state before speaking. He leaned in, and Portia leaned back until she was jammed against her cabin door. Killmonger bared his teeth at her and she acted as if he had snarled like a beast. Her eyes darted toward the stairs that led to the top deck, expecting someone to rescue her.
"Treat people who cater to you with respect. They don't get paid enough to take your verbal abuse," he demanded.
She looked away from his heated glare and gold canines. He caught the subtle tremble in her body, but then she turned her face back to him and smirked.
"Those people are paid well and competed to get this job—"
"You ain't paying 'em," he said.
"My man is. His money is my money—"
"You sure about him being your man?"
Her eyes narrowed and her lips curled into a tight grimace. Killmonger decided to blow up her spot and teach the brat a lesson. Every bully needed to be humbled in their life. There was no better time than the present for her.
Portia put a hand on her hip and waited for him to run his mouth some more.
"He had a little quickie with your homegirl Tiana at a hotel while everyone was having lunch."
He cocked his head and waited for the explosion and waterworks to begin. Portia stared at him hard, then started cackling.
"Think I'm joking? I followed them there," he said.
Portia snorted and grabbed her stomach to control her laughter. He waited for her to notice that he was serious. She patted his chest with her right hand and he rolled his eyes with impatience.
"The look on your face right now… as if you got me with something!" she heckled.
Portia wiped her almond eyes and touched her chest. Her diamond nails glittered and that cool exterior returned in full effect.
"I sent that bitch there myself," Portia said.
Killmonger's brow wrinkled, and Portia gave him a little twisted lip pout. Then she grinned.
"Aw, I'm sorry boo boo. You really thought this was a gotcha moment. Ever hear of keeping your friends close, but your enemies closer? Tiana is a free-loading cunt… yeah, I said cunt like the white girls do. She's not my homegirl, just competition who has been trying to be me from day one. I let that heffa into my inner circle to keep her on a leash. Quinton is going broke and all of this…?"
She waved her hand above her head.
"All of this shit is about to disappear soon, so to teach her a lesson about coming for what I got, I'm letting her have that limp dick brokie. She thinks she's on the come-up sneaking around with him, but I fed her fake bread crumbs to that nigga. Lied, and told her we were having relationship problems, and that I was worried that he wanted someone else. That little worker hoe really thinks she's better than the queen bee. I stayed on the yacht on purpose so she could make her move on him. Now she knows shiny things aren't always diamonds with that weak peen. In her mind, she thinks she has him and his money. The reality is, she's with a broke faker. Checkmate, bitch."
Portia guffawed and pointed to Killmonger's face.
"I respect you for trying to break my heart to humble me, but you can't play a player," she said.
She shoved him out of her way and strutted up the stairs, tooting her ass out so he could see it jiggle as she walked. Stopping halfway, she looked back at him.
"I'll act nicer with the staff just to make you feel better," she said.
Killmonger chuckled and shook his head. Baby girl was cold-blooded. Respect. He eased his big body up the steps and did quick surveillance all around the ship. Portia acted better with the servers, but she was still icy with the other mercs.
The next few days were dull and humid.
Boredom set in with the women, as the men only drank, ate, and slept for hours on end. Killmonger observed how Portia maneuvered around Tiana. Deadly sweet. It was like watching a scorpion slowly poison a frog as it rode the weaker creature's back. The shine of being with Quinton wore off Tiana, and he caught her brushing off the advances of her secret lover when they thought no one else saw them around the yacht. Portia knew everything that went on between them, orchestrating their dismal affair right under the noses of everyone present.
New Year's Eve rolled around and the trip was nearly over. He had to admit that the assignment wasn't as troublesome as he thought it would be. Quinton hired a fireworks crew to meet them on a separate boat at a rendezvous point in the middle of the ocean. Killmonger sent his mercs over to check out the other smaller ship with metal detectors, heat sensor devices, and a thorough inspection of the crew while he scuba-dived under the boat to sweep for explosives and hidden weapons. They inspected the fireworks being used, too. When one of his team helped him out of the water, he pulled off his scuba gear, and Portia watched him undress. Her eyes grew enormous when his scars came into view. The shiny lumpy brown flesh decorated him with a deadly artistic beauty, displaying every life he had taken in his line of work. He walked across the deck, dripping in seawater and muscles. A hunger grew in her aroused eyes to see more under the wetsuit.
"All safe," he said, whisking past her, carrying his air tanks to a rack.
He took his time pulling off the rest of his wetsuit, shaking his thighs, and grabbing his dick through his tight trunks to adjust the weight there.
Quinton walked over, clapping his hands together.
"All good?" Quinton asked.
"You can have your show tonight," Killmonger said.
Portia flounced away, shaking those ass cheeks, and his dick jumped in his trunks. The last few days she'd been a lot more suggestive with her behavior toward him, teasing him with flirty glances, and tugging on her swimwear suggestively in front of him that had Killmonger undressing her in his mind at night. He jerked off on his bed after taking a shower from scuba diving, imagining himself bending her over a railing and spanking her ass, rubbing his dick tip against her while she glanced back at him with those spoiled eyes and luscious, pouty lips. She needed to be punished. Needed to be on her knees and sucking his dick. If she complained about his length choking her, he would slap her and train her to show some respect for the gift of having his length stretch her mouth.
His erection was harder than steel and he kept playing an image of her begging forgiveness for being such a bitch. Killmonger wanted to cum all over her face and mess up that illusion of perfection she had about herself. Knowing what he did about her for nearly a week, he already understood that she would try to break his resolve and manhood down to control him. She needed a strong Daddy to put her right, and the thought of her sucking his balls while she stared at him with insolent eyes sent him over the edge, and ribbons of hot cum shot all over his hand and midsection. His dick was still hard as he beat it again, thinking of her pussy contracting all over his erection. She just had a way about her that made him want to tame her. Break her down. Force her to submit and sit that plump ass on his face.
He rolled over, groaning into his pillow, angry that she had reduced him to playing with himself when he was supposed to be overseeing his men. Cleaning up quickly, he went topside to check on the action above. Quinton and his guests had all retired for late afternoon naps to prepare for the evening's festivities. A fancy seven-course Mediterranean meal was planned for the New Year's celebration and they invited all the mercs to join in the fun with their shifts.
Portia wore her alabaster bikini again with a coral beach wrap skirt. Diamond earrings decorated her ears and a huge blue diamond necklace sat on her neck worth more than Killmonger made in a year legally. She toned down her make-up, going for a natural look, and the switch-up was extraordinary. It softened her face more, and she became even more beautiful.
Killmonger ate his fill of the gourmet food and allowed himself one glass of champagne before changing shifts with another merc. He kept his dark clothes on and strolled alone along the uppermost deck. The ship captain ate from a plate and Erik glanced over at the fireworks ship. He lifted the work binoculars from his chest and stepped back outside to observe the water and sky. No moon. Just stars stretched across the heavens, sparkling the jewels all over Portia.
The fireworks show started at eleven-thirty for a slow countdown to midnight. Killmonger positioned himself on the deck overlooking the stern. Below him, the rich guests gathered with more champagne and small desserts to watch the show. It was spectacular. Fireworks had never impressed him before, but he found himself looking at the sophisticated light show over the sea. Dazzling shapes and styles of explosives brought a magical ambiance all around them. Portia squealed and clapped her hands like a child, often pushing her face against Quinton's shoulder whenever an explosive boomed too loud and scared her. She looked cute while enjoying herself and Killmonger wondered why she couldn't be like that all the time. A certain type of sweetness exuded from her, as if she had put away that mask of cool she always wore, just to be a regular woman having a good time.
A server approached Killmonger with a tray of champagne.
"Why not?" Killmonger said, lifting a glass.
He drank it down and kept his eye on Portia, enjoying the fireworks.
Portia gulped down another glass of champagne and watched a firework turn into a rose in the sky. She clapped and oohed and ahhed to her heart's content. It was a beautiful way to end a relationship. A part of her actually felt a little bad about dumping Quinton after the trip. He would find someone new with a lower income bracket, hopefully, someone who loved him for who he was and not his wallet. The poor schlep was the type of dude who used money to buy his way into the quality of woman he wanted, which was not who he needed. Perhaps if Portia had remained a small-town girl working finance at a bank or small business in her old hometown, Quinton would've been deemed, in her mind, the catch of a lifetime. Alas, that was not the ocean current she rolled in. His ego was big, and he felt entitled to beautiful women simply because he had a dick and some money. Cultivating a personality, hobbies, or real solid friendships was not in his wheelhouse. Trophy girlfriends would never bring him happiness.
The champagne bubbles in her flute tickled her nose. She glanced over at Tiana who looked seasick from too much liquor in her system. Maybe there was some hope for Quinton being with her enemy. Everyone deserved love.
Portia was about to go check on Mimi in her cabin before it hit midnight. She gave the Pomeranian a doggy sedative to keep her from anxiety with all the fireworks noise, and she worried her fur baby would be frightened without checking in with her. The crackle of a spectacularly loud firework drew her attention to the sky again. A chain of enormous fiery lights popped off, and she glanced at her dainty Patek Philippe watch. It wasn't midnight yet for any kind of grand finale. Unless something bigger was about to erupt in the sky after that volley of bright multi-colored lights. She clapped and heard a loud popping sound.
"Did a firework not go off?" she asked.
Her girlfriends shrugged before a gigantic explosion rocked the bow of the ship that was not part of the show. The yacht lurched, and Portia fell to her knees off-balance with her platform heels. Smoke and flames filled her shocked eyes. Everyone nervously headed toward the front to see what the hell happened and more popping sounds commenced from behind them. Tiana fell on top of her with Carlos. Portia's two other friends shrieked and ran, cut down by a hail of bullets through their backs. Portia pushed the limp and bloody woman off of her legs and shoved Carlos away too. The man's eyes looked up at her with a lifeless stare, and Portia screamed. She stayed on her hands and knees to keep low while looking up toward the higher decks. Killmonger had a modified M249 up and shot toward the sea targets. The fireworks ship exploded into a reddish-orange fireball, blazing the night sky with more flames and thick smoke. Parts of that ship flew over onto the deck of the yacht. One of Killmonger's men shot a grenade launcher from his weapon, aiming for some enemy Portia couldn't see on the dark water.
"Portia! Stay down!" Killmonger called out to her.
She did what he said and hid under Carlos and Tiana again, trying not to lose it as their warm blood dripped all down her legs and pooled at her feet. She swiped some of the cooling blood from her limbs and wiped it all over her throat to make herself look injured and played dead on the deck. Quinton ran toward the side of the yacht, and Portia wanted to follow, but the volley of intense bullets whizzed over her head. She covered her face, hearing loud splashes of water and yelling. The mercs around her scuffled with people who had climbed aboard. A powerful arm lifted her up by her waist.
"You been hit?" Killmonger asked.
"No!"
A merc near Killmonger took a shot between the eyes and dropped in front of her.
"Let's go!" Killmonger yelled, helping a server go with them.
The attackers cut the server down in mid-step and Portia realized with horror that all the guests except for her and Quinton were in a dead bloody heap all across the deck. She only lucked out because two bodies fell on her, shielding her from becoming human Swiss cheese. Another of Killmonger's team ran past them to fight, giving cover. Killmonger led her to the secret emergency door that held the military boat.
"Wait! I have to get Mimi!" she yelped.
"Fuck that dog!" Killmonger yelled.
Portia pushed back on the tears that welled up in her eyes. Her poor baby was locked inside her little travel kennel. She'd die all alone in her crate without her Mommy. The yacht tipped to the side, knocked by another explosive. Killmonger helped her into the emergency boat and made her put on a life vest.
"Wait here," he said.
"Don't leave me!" she shrieked, clutching his free hand with desperate fingers.
"I have to check for other survivors on the yacht's crew."
Her heart thudded in her chest so fast it made her gasp for air. She sat inside the boat and grabbed one of the gray emergency blankets and pulled it around her, hiding down low in the boat in case an armed pirate burst in. Portia was small enough to look like a lumpy seat. The odor of smoke crept down to where she was, and after some time, she worried Killmonger was dead. She wanted to wait another ten minutes for him, and then figure out a way to get the boat out onto the water by herself before the entire yacht sank into the sea.
It became hard to breathe under the blanket. She made a little breathing space for herself where she could still be covered up, but the smoke from the fires above seeped down to where she was. The sounds of shooting had stopped. Silence took over, and she debated about going out to see if the pirates had left. Time kept ticking, and the boat listed. Adrenaline had kept her going. But now the tears flowed.
The emergency door burst open, and Portia held her breath and stayed perfectly still. Mimi's woozy and weak bark yapped for her. She threw off the blanket and Killmonger was there, carrying Mimi's travel kennel and a backpack. He handed Portia the dog and tossed the backpack on the boat. Pressing a few buttons on a side wall of the yacht, a release ramp opened and slid down toward the water. He pushed the boat more, and it slid easily with a quiet splash. The yacht leaned further over and they would have to hurry to avoid being sucked down with it.
Killmonger untied ropes that secured the boat to the off-ramp. His face was full of concentration and determination to get them out of there. He put the safety on his weapon and leaned over to drop it in the boat when a masked man wearing dark clothing similar to Killmonger's uniform charged him, jamming his AK-47 under his throat and choking him.
Killmonger flipped the man over onto his back, punched him once and whipped out a Glock from his waist, and blasted the man's forehead. Blood and brain matter splattered, and Portia was too shocked to scream. Killmonger leaped into the boat and started the quiet motor, guiding them away from the yacht. She watched the burning luxury boat slowly sink as they bounced across the water. The pirate boat that attacked them sat on the other side and she thanked God there was no moon because the flames from both ships burning distracted their attackers from seeing them. Portia closed her eyes and let the cool sea breeze dry the sweat of fear all over her. The further away they were, the safer she felt. Her breathing returned to normal once the yacht and the surrounding madness became a tiny shiny speck on the horizon.
Killmonger checked some guidance apps on his military watch computer and took them toward some uninhabited Greek island chains. After about forty minutes, they hid their getaway boat on a small rocky isle inside an island littoral cave that made Killmonger feel secure staying there until he could contact help. Waves had eroded away an opening in the limestone, creating a sea cave that hid and protected them from the elements. He stuck a small headlamp on his head, giving them the only light source to look around. Killmonger handed her one too, and she placed it around her forehead. He dragged the boat once they hit soft sand. The cavern was dark and warm, like a womb. There were flares and a bulky charged satellite phone on the boat.
"I'll use the phone tomorrow and shoot off a flare for rescue when it's safe. We may have to stay out here a few days," he said.
"A few days? Why that long?" she said.
"That was a coordinated attack. They'll be looking for survivors all night and tomorrow. They knew exactly how many people were on that yacht, and you and I are no longer there. It was a hit… on everyone," he said. "There's also a storm moving in and that will hinder rescue efforts."
"Maybe they'll think we drowned and just go," she reasoned.
"They will sweep for floating bodies. Trust me."
He stopped and looked at her hard. She had opened Mimi's crate and held her frightened dog on her lap.
"Portia… Quinton set this whole thing up. I saw and heard him talking with the hit squad when I grabbed Mimi. He left with them on the attack boat."
Portia shook her head.
"No… that's not true… Quinton's a tech guy. He doesn't know pirates and shit…"
"He's going to disappear like he's dead, too. Collect on all the insurance he had on everyone there and that yacht. You told me he was going broke. He fixed his financial problem by getting money for you, your friends, and his billionaire buddies. The men he hired are going to make sure you and I are dead, so we don't snitch on what really happened."
Portia looked down at Mimi and felt the blood rush to her head like she was going to pass out.
"I can't believe this. He killed all those people to save his ass financially."
Killmonger pulled out a cold bottle of water from the backpack he brought and handed it to her.
"Can we last for three days out here?" she asked.
He nodded and showed her a wide variety of goods stored on the boat.
"There's enough food on her for several days that could last a week if needed. Since there are only two of us, we can eat as much as we want and stretch it out if we have to. We have fresh water… blankets. Toilet paper, sunblock, bug spray. We're good. Just have to keep hidden from the clean-up crew."
Killmonger sounded confident, and Portia inhaled deeply. He saved her life and would protect her on their…
New home. She looked around the boat again. There was plenty of room on one end for them both to stretch out and rest. The weapons attached to the hull could thwart a small army. Portia sipped a little water, gave some to Mimi with a cupped hand, then placed the dog back in her kennel. She prayed her fur baby didn't bark after the sedative wore off completely.
Killmonger made soft pallets of extra blankets for them to sleep on while she turned off her light and stepped out of the boat. She walked back to the water. After rinsing the blood off of her body and shoes, she returned to him, and they both stretched out in opposite directions. She felt him move around on his end. Lifting to see what he was doing, she caught him taking off his uniform. He stripped down to his black boxer briefs and huddled back up under his covers. Portia changed positions and crawled to his end when her body spasmed. She rested against his back, spooning him to capture some of his warmth, hoping the shaking in her limbs would stop. Her body moved with uncontrollable, jerky movements and she felt cold. Killmonger faced her quickly and put his arms around her.
"What's happening to me? My arms and legs keep shaking," she whispered.
"You're going through adrenaline withdrawal. Shit was crazy that you went through, and your body was all keyed up for action. It's trying to get back to equilibrium."
"How do you seem so calm? Shouldn't you be shaking too?"
"I'm used to it. Don't worry. It won't last long."
He opened up his blanket to her, and she eased her face against his wide chest. The keloid scars were smooth and slippery-feeling against her skin. His heartbeat was a steady drumming to her ears. Her shallow breathing eventually evened out to match his, and she could rest calmly next to him. The scent of his skin had a soothing musk odor, some cologne mixed with his own sweat, giving off an intoxicating smell. He adjusted his body to give her more room, and she closed her eyes to sleep.
Waking up hours later, she opened her eyes to see him looking down at her with the softest brown eyes. For the entire yacht trip, he always wore a scowl on his face with narrow cruel eyes that held disdain for her. Now… she looked at another man completely. A roar of water drew her attention back toward the opening of the cave. The light pastel colors of dawn greeted them with shades of turquoise and honey yellow bleeding into a blood-orange tapestry. The rising tide rolled in, gently pushing their boat against the sand, rocking their bodies like a mother's hand tending to a cradle. Killmonger had the boat fastened to a stake that he pounded into the sand to keep them from floating out into the sea while they slept.
Sitting up, she admired the view. The clear, tranquil water sparkled as the sun rose higher and the colors in the sky changed into new brighter hues. It took Portia's breath away, bringing tears to her eyes. The rust color of the cave's roof seemed to glow. In the distance, she noticed other island chain formations that probably never had a human walk on them. She wondered if the awe she felt was the same awe that God had when the heavens and the earth were made complete. The scene before her looked like a painting. She spent most of her life drinking, partying all night, burning through rich men's money, and sleeping hungover until noon. When had she ever witnessed a sunrise like the one spread before her sober eyes? What a way to enter a new year.
Porta laid her head back down and noticed that her bikini top had fallen off in her sleep. She was topless in front of him. Throwing an arm over her chest, she glanced around for her knitted top.
"Don't trip," he said with a grin.
He reached above his head and handed her a small container of grape juice. She took it and drank down the sweetness.
"Hungry?" he asked.
She shook her head no, the fruit juice helping revive her blood sugar. Pushing the blanket away from her lower body, she luxuriated in the balmy comfort of the air. Tilting her head back, she noticed an opening at the top of the cave that dropped a beam of early morning light on her face. She squeezed her eyes shut, letting the inside of her lids turn red from the sun bathing her more. A calloused finger stroked down the side of her cheek. Portia's eyes popped back open as Killmonger dragged his index finger against her skin. She lifted a finger and traced one of his keloid scars across his right pec. He was her hero. During the shootout and explosions, he had his eyes on her, making sure she was safe.
Killmonger dropped his head down and kissed her. She could taste toothpaste and fruit juice on his tongue. A static sound interrupted their joining, and he pulled away from her to pick up the satellite phone. He spoke in a rushed tone, giving coordinates and relaying a warning about the attack and Quinton's hand in it. There was a personal locator beacon with a strong GPS tracker he was going to keep on so they could find them. She closed her eyes and rested her head on her hands, letting Killmonger deal with everything. Soon after, he shut the phone off to save the battery. Turning to her, he stretched his arms and sighed.
"It's going to take time to reach us. The storm is sitting over Crete and moving slowly. Rough waves."
"But they are coming?" she asked.
"Yes."
Portia fell onto her back and stared up at the cave roof with relief. People knew where they were and would find them.
"I want to eat now," she said.
Killmonger pulled out MRE packages and small disposable plates. She dumped out a packet of southwest beef with black beans and tortillas. There was a chocolate banana nut muffin and apple slices mixed in a spice sauce, a cheese spread, and peanut butter. Portia made herself a burrito, and the food gave her the calories and energy she needed. Killmonger made them coffee over a small propane stove he put together and joined her with his own meal.
"Not bad," she said, stuffing the muffin in her mouth.
"We can have a white meat chicken salad with crackers and pasta for lunch," he said.
She wolfed down her burrito and wiped her lips. Finishing quickly, she let Mimi out of her cage and fed her from the packs of fancy dog food stored inside the kennel with her. She let the dog run around in the cave's interior to relieve herself. Mimi stayed away from the water and occupied her attention quietly by digging holes all in the back of the cave. Looking around, Portia was happy to see there was nothing inside the small cave with them except sand and the tiny beach made by the water lapping inside gently. Killmonger pulled out a large tan camouflage netting.
"Step out. Grab your top," he said.
Portia stunned herself by noticing she had stayed topless the entire time eating. She tied her titties up and draped her wrap skirt around her neck into a dress. She slipped on her platforms and picked up Mimi. Killmonger covered the boat up with the netting, blending it into the background of tan sand.
"Put the dog in its kennel so we can look around and I can plant this tracker up high," he said.
"She'll bark," she said.
Killmonger rolled his eyes.
"Then carry her," he said.
He pulled on his pants, and she eyed the bulge at his crotch. His flaccid state was bigger than Quinton's erect state. Portia checked herself for thinking sexy thoughts in their dire situation.
Dire?
It wasn't, really. They had all they needed and good people were coming for them. He placed several water bottles, a Glock, the satellite phone, and the beacon locator, inside a small pack and slung it around his shoulders. She followed him out of the cave, stepping on vast rock formations on the side to keep from getting her platforms wet. Climbing up the side of a hill, they made their way through brush and mostly barren land. There weren't very many trees and the ones that existed were small, or dead, and had fallen over. She kicked a few on the ground and they crumbled from contact, drier than the heat cooking their skin. Killmonger was already a shade darker, and it looked good on him. His biceps were beefy and darker brown. Her own dark skin took on a red tinge with her rich color. At a glance, they looked like tourists ambling about looking for t-shirts to buy for back home, not shipwrecked targets for death.
"Ow!"
Portia tripped on some sand and eroding rocks, bumping into Killmonger and almost knocking him over.
"Watch it," he barked.
"Sorry! I wasn't trying to bump into you—"
"Take those ridiculous shoes off so you can walk better—"
"It's too hot."
"No, it's not—"
"Yes, it is—"
They fussed like an old married couple all the way to the highest point of the island. He stuck the tracker in the ground and checked to make sure it was working properly. Gazing out at the sea around them, Killmonger lifted binoculars from his chest and peered out further.
"See anything?"
"No."
"That's a good sign, right?" she asked.
Portia put Mimi down so the dog could sniff around and urinate. Mimi happily sniffed and marked territory. When she padded over too close to a drop, Porta scooped her back up. There didn't seem to be any wildlife at all.
"Do you think there are a lot of snakes on this island?"
"Maybe. I haven't seen much scat or midden left behind," he said, searching the sea with the binoculars.
"What's that?"
"Scat is animal shit, and midden is their refuse… the food they've nibbled on and left behind. I only spotted some anthills and one bird so far. Not much to sustain a lot of snakes."
He glanced over at her.
"Just walk hard. Your vibration will scare them off. Keep that rat dog in sight, though."
"She's a Pomeranian."
"Looks like a rat dressed in a hot ass fur coat."
Portia looked at her baby. Mimi did pant. She grabbed a water bottle from Killmonger's pack and poured some on the dog.
"Whatchu doin'?! That's for drinking," Killmonger scolded.
"She's hot. I don't want her to get sunstroke."
He held his hand outstretched.
"We're surrounded by cool seawater. Dunk her rat ass in that. Stop wasting what we need to survive!"
Portia pouted.
"I wasn't thinking about that. I just wanted to help her."
"Let me do all the thinking then…" he grumbled.
They explored more, trekking around the entire island in under an hour. She dunked Mimi in a pool of water that came up from a natural aquifer of fresh water near the cave entrance. Killmonger grumbled again, so she walked her dog into the seawater and cooled them both off. He shut his mouth when she removed her beach wrap and frolicked with Mimi until a small wave knocked her poor pooch over. She walked out of the water dripping with her diamonds glittering, making her look like a Black Venus rising to the mortal world. He licked his thick lips, and she shuddered at the thought of that mouth on her body. Killmonger was bossy and so easily annoyed by her. However, he was also attracted to her and Portia played into that whenever he gave a tired sigh with her antics spoiling her fur baby. She made a little condo property for Mimi with her dog kennel. Moving it far back in the cave, she gave the dog a bowl of water and dried dog food with space to call her own to keep away from Killmonger. She decorated the front of the crate with pretty rocks and shells she collected and doted on her little one until Mimi fell asleep, farting from all the snack treats Portia gave her to help with the stress of a new environment.
He checked in with the rescue team on the phone and made them lunch. She sensed he felt more relaxed after finding fresh water on the island that they could use if they needed to. They ate in silence together, sitting on the sand and staring at the water. To be stranded on an island with a trained killer wasn't such an awful experience. Underneath the rough exterior was a man who held her hand to help her move around the island, and who also made sure she was hydrated. He pointed out natural formations of some of the island's geography around them and double-checked for snakes as they stepped over fallen trees. She gripped his arm when they moved into questionable areas, and at one point, she slipped her hand into his as he guided her back down toward the cave.
She took a nap on the sand and woke up to a crackling fire. Killmonger had gathered wood and dried brush, making a cozy glow that couldn't be seen from the narrow opening of the cave from the outside. They watched a new sliver of moon rise and a blanket of blue-black sky rest over the island for the night. She grinned and nibbled on chocolate chip cookies, humming and rocking on her backside as she ate. He laughed at her.
"What?" she said
"You look like a little kid on a girl scout campfire trip," he teased.
"Funny, because I used to be a girl scout."
"A girl scout… and you didn't know what scat and midden were?"
"I must've missed that part. I just looked good in the uniform," she said.
He smiled, and the bright, genuine light it brought to his face made him even more handsome. Killmonger was fine, no doubt, but there was something else deep within him that made him even more attractive. She thought of the way he lifted her up with one arm, shooting with the other as he rushed her to safety. His eyes always slid over to hers, even before the attack, when they were floating in tranquility. Portia had teased him sexually, doing things to get a rise out of him. It had started as a dismissive act, letting him see what he would never have in life, and it changed into active taunting, daring him to step up to the challenge so she could smack him down and belittle his audacity to think he was ever on her level.
Sitting in a cave with a peaceful campfire, her gaze on him brought clarity. She had been attracted to him the moment he put her in check on their first meeting. People always did what she wanted, and he had been the first man to push back on her attitude. She picked at him every time he showed up in her face.
"Penny for your thoughts," he said.
"You couldn't afford my thoughts," she said in a playful tone.
He smirked, then added more wood to the fire. Her eyes drifted up to watch the smoke go through the hole in the high roof.
"You think they're done looking for us? Should we even have a fire with the smoke floating… they could see it."
"By now, they should think we're dead. They never saw us leave on the boat and the yacht is at the bottom of the ocean by now, so they can't even check to see about the emergency escape, even if Quinton mentioned it. I won't have this going for long," he said.
"I like it," she said, holding her hands and feet up, warming her fingers and toes.
They didn't need the extra warmth. The cave was already cozy, but it brought comfort to their predicament.
"I'll sleep out here tonight and keep watch," he said. "I'll have to hike around a bit too, to check in other directions from the top."
She looked around for a blanket or pallet on the sand. There was nothing to lie on. Perhaps his soldier ways let him sleep cross-legged and upright. Her eyes became drowsy. Standing and stretching, she stared out at sea, admiring the sizeable chunk of island rock that faced across from their private paradise.
"I thought a storm was coming," she said.
"It is. Can't you feel the temperature drop? The sky is changing too. Won't hit until later tonight, and it won't be as bad out here. The sheer rock of that island over there is shielding us, and the tide doesn't get very high in here. We're good," he said.
She nodded.
"Night," she called.
"Night," he said.
She checked on Mimi, then snuggled inside the boat with the blankets. Killmonger went and grabbed the solar lights that he sat out in the sun all day and brought into the cave, jamming them down in the sand near the boat. He even posted two by Mimi's kennel because Portia told him the dog was nervous about being in the dark. Her mind tried to stay positive. She wondered how bad the storm could be if the hole at the top of the roof flooded with rainwater. Killmonger didn't appear concerned, so she let the thought drop.
After an hour, a soft splash of water forced her to lift and see what the noise was. Mimi hated water, so there were no worries there. Portia spotted Killmonger on the far side of the cave, splashing his naked feet into the liquid heaven.
"Lord," she whispered into her own mouth, watching him.
He was totally nude and moved his body with an assured grace that made him look like Poseidon returning to the sea. She could not stop staring at his taut glutes and powerful thighs. His keloid scars were all over his back, too. Killmonger walked in waist-deep before dunking his head underwater and wetting his locs. He ran a hand over his hair and shook them, stretching his arms out wide, traveling deeper into the sea until she could only see his head. Going under a few times, he moved closer to shore, and she noticed the small bottle of liquid soap in his hand. He washed all over, rubbing his muscles, and cleaning between his toes and elsewhere. Rinsing off, he dropped the bottle of soap on the sand for later and put on his pants without his boxer briefs. He padded back over to the dying fire and stopped when he saw Mimi sitting near his previous seat.
"Getcho ass back in that kennel," he ordered.
Mimi only sat and stared at him.
He sat down next to the pampered pooch and placed Mimi on his lap. Portia giggled and hid under the blankets.
Smoke and flashes of a blazing fire blinded her eyes. The shouts of fear and the odor of fresh blood grounded her back on the yacht. She had moved so slowly. Champagne and the thrill of fireworks put her in a loopy mood and the horror of the attack froze her and probably saved her life. Tiana and Carlos ran and Portia stood there like a statue, her mind trying to fathom what was wrong with the scenario before she was tackled by the running dead and free-falling onto her back.
"No!"
Portia shot up inside the boat, her heart jackhammering in her chest. Her throat clogged with a scream as she relived the attack. Staring at her shaking hands in front of her face, she expected to see blood and brain matter again as another scream ripped from her lips.
"Hey, it's okay… shhh… it's only a nightmare…"
Killmonger jumped into the boat with her and the fading dream had her beating his chest thinking he was an attacker. The lucidity made her claw at his face and he pulled her into his chest, rocking her, cooing soft words into her ear to bring her back to reality and the safety of the cave. Mimi whined behind her and the sound of the dog snapped her to the present. She fell apart then, wailing into Killmonger's chest, her mouth wide open and unable to close as if the terror she endured would crawl out of her throat. Quinton tried to kill her. Her body could've been at the bottom of the sea becoming fish food and no one would know the truth of what he did to her or all of their so-called friends. Portia moaned and jammed a hand against her mouth.
"You're good, Portia. I'm here and we're okay. Just a bad dream…"
She looked up at his face, then wrapped her arms around his neck. He leaned back in the boat, letting her rest on top of him. He stroked her spine and his rough hands on her bare skin brought her back from the brink of totally losing all control of her emotions. She wiped her eyes and covered her face, weeping quietly against him.
"I was waiting for this. Some people take longer to process what happened to them. You tried your best to act like you were okay all day," he whispered.
Her breath shuddered as his soothing voice and hands brought her into a calm state.
"I was so scared," she said.
"I know."
"It was so fast and… I couldn't move…"
"You did well considering all that was happening at one time… even wiped blood on yourself to fool them. That's thinking on your toes, Ma. Most people just scream and holler, then get caught up in the shock. You ran and did what you had to do."
"Thank you for saving me," she whispered.
"That was my job."
His fingers dragged up and down her spine, making her skin feel tingly and warm. She crawled off of him and snuggled into his side, hiding her face in his chest. Portia enjoyed being there. It felt comfortable and safe. He stroked her arms and tried to leave her side to return to his post, but she gripped his arm and pulled him back next to her.
"Don't go," she said.
A soft sprinkle of rain fell on the water. The storm had arrived. The pleasant patter of droplets striking the sea eased her mind and body. Her nightmare faded, easily forgotten, while cozied up against him.
"Try to sleep," he said.
Killmonger rested his head on the makeshift pillow his work jacket made and she stared into his eyes. The solar lights gave her a soft ambiance to look at him with.
"By tomorrow evening, they should be near enough where I can shoot a flare so they can pick us up. Hang on to that thought," he said.
She nodded into his shoulder and released a final shudder that loosened all the tension in her body. Absent-mindedly, she rubbed her fingers across the top of his naked chest, feeling the slick contours of his keloids against the pads of her fingertips. Tracing her fingers under his neck, she took a bold step and ran her finger across his full lips. Raising herself higher, Portia kissed him, enjoying the sensation of warm plush fullness outlining her own plump softness. His lips smothered hers as he took over the kissing. She expected a feral roughness with him, but he was buttery soft and so gentle with her mouth. Even his large tongue surprised her with how seductively slow it was exploring the inside of her mouth. Their kisses were languid and so unrushed that she could almost fool herself into thinking that they had been lovers in some other past life together. There was no clumsy fumbling newness as their tongues sought an understanding of their changed physical relationship.
She tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth, and he smiled. He kissed his own trail down her face and onto her neck where he buried those sharp gold teeth and nibbled on her throat, shooting sparks of pleasure down to her toes and back. Groaning out loud, she delighted in his fingers pinching her nipples through her bikini top. She untied it and freed her breasts. His hand palmed their fullness, and she glanced down at his crotch. His dick tented his pants. She helped unfasten them, releasing his erection. It was a hot, rigid thing in her hand and his head fell back, allowing a deep groan to release from his mouth.
"Stroke that shit," he huffed into her neck while untying the bottom of her bikini himself.
She moved over as he wiggled out of his pants and gasped when she saw his dick and balls together. Her pussy throbbed while looking at the heft and length. Pre-cum pearled at his tip and ran down the sides and she helped slicken that big dick in a hurry, eliciting more guttural moans from him. She liked the pleasurable sounds falling from his lips and squeezed her fingers around the bulbous tip. The hole there opened wider and clear fluid drizzled onto the gap of her thumb and index finger.
"Fuck, baby," he gasped when she twisted and tugged under the ridge.
His fingers found her clit and her pussy wasted no time becoming slick and wet, her folds opening up for him like a blooming rose. He stared between her legs, licked his lips, and flashed those gold slugs. She lost control of the tremors making her body weak for him. Slick sounds met his fingers, and he played with her pussy lips until she was begging for him to do more.
"Play with your pussy. Lemme see you do what you did on the boat when you were teasing me," he huffed.
Her diamond-crusted fingernails made her pussy so pretty for him. She could see his arousal grow in his glassy eyes. She rubbed her clit, then held her folds open. He licked his fingers and stuck them in her mouth. She sucked on them, showing him everything she could do for his dick. He closed his eyes and his lips parted. Panting, he played in her mouth. His big dick twitched and jumped against her thigh, spewing more pre-cum.
"Lemme play in this pussy," he begged.
She opened her legs, and he inserted two fingers inside of her opening, gently testing the limits of what she could take. Portia whimpered when he started tapping on the sides of her walls, flicking his fingers back and forth like a butterfly fluttering away. He knew how to stimulate pussy. Killmonger wasn't rough or jerky with his movements either. He watched her face to read what she could handle from him and kissed her often, slow and steady, binding Portia to him like he was kissing a magic spell into her mouth, conjuring more pleasure from the nerves that woke up all over her writhing body. He fingered her pussy and sucked on her nipples, turning her body into mush that the sea could wash away with the tide.
"Listen to that pussy… fuck… I knew this shit was good… fuck…" he moaned.
"Killmonger," she cried out as his fingers hit spots in her that hadn't been touched in so long.
"You loved showing this pussy to me. So fat in this bikini. Letting me see these pussy lips all the time… teasing me…"
He pulled his fingers out against the clenching she began doing around them. He sucked her juices from his fingers and admired the frothy wetness that glistened all over her puffy folds. Slapping her vulva, he stood up and forced her to her knees.
"Suck this dick," he commanded.
Portia obeyed, jumping to her knees and swallowing his dick head like it was her last meal in life. He pushed his dick in further and her mouth stretched around it. She pressed her hand on his stomach to control the depth, but he slapped her face. The shock of the sting aroused her, and she stared up at him with heated eyes and a throbbing pussy.
"You gon' take this dick how I feed it to you… spoiled bitch. Now suck on it… put those fucking hands away. I want all mouth, Portia."
Portia opened her mouth wider, and he went in deeper. She gagged while trying to suck and slurp, and her eyes watered, but Killmonger slapped the other side of her face, disappointed with her performance.
"I thought you were better than this. You can't handle this dick?"
Her forehead creased with anger. She always gave world-class head. No man had ever complained about her oral skills. She gripped the root of his dick and he slapped her hands away.
"I said all mouth, and I meant all mouth!"
He pushed her back, and the anger that sat on his face excited her. Killmonger wasn't pleased at all. She licked his balls and kissed her way back to his dick again to try better. Taking her time, she licked around the slit and under the head, coating her tongue with all the pre-cum that dripped from him. He dragged his tip across her lips, making them glossy, and nudged the seam of her lips back open.
"Let's see if you can do better," he said.
She adjusted her knees with the blankets and sucked on that dick tip, using her full concentration. Her suction with her lips improved, and she even grazed her teeth gently around him to switch up her performance. He treated her like a little puppet that needed her strings pulled when she didn't suck to his satisfaction. She worked her ass off to get a groan, a moan, or a "Good girl," to drip from his sexy lips. He patted her head and sometimes pulled her braids to force her lips to do better.
"How are you gonna pull that nut outta Daddy when you stay playin' like that? Huh? Is this your best?" he asked.
She popped his dick out of her mouth with a torrent of saliva falling onto her breasts and pouted.
"Not as good as you thought you were. Do better," he said, shoving his dick back in.
Portia wanted to cry. She gave him grade A head, and it still wasn't up to par. All the tricks she had used over the years to get men off failed her. There were moments when she thought she had made a breakthrough, but he grumbled and told her she was not even close to getting him off.
"Look up at me when you suck that dick," he said.
Frustrated, she gazed up at him as he deep-throated her neck. That gorgeous face and big ass lips had her pussy clenching on nothing but air. Her walls felt so swollen and ached for his dick to lay her out. A few tears streaked down her face as her frustration grew.
"That's a good girl. Now take some more of Daddy's dick. Show me you can follow directions," he said.
She wanted to please him so badly. He played with her nipples and breasts as she worked her neck, throating him down as best she could. Her loud gawking echoed throughout the cave.
"Jaws getting tired?" he teased in a mean tone.
He pulled his dick out and glared at her.
"Tell Daddy you're sorry for letting him down with that mouth," he demanded.
The gruff tone ignited the ache in her clit. He threaded the braids in the back of her head with the fingers of his left hand and tilted her head while fisting his dick. He gently yanked on her hair.
"What I say? Tell Daddy you're sorry for that trash sucking," he barked.
"I can do better," she pleaded.
"You had a long time to show me, and it didn't happen."
He grunted and stared at her ripe lips, his right hand working that length like he was ready to burst. Gripping her head with his hand, he bared his slugs.
"Sorry, Daddy—"
"For what?" he gasped, narrowing his eyes as he brought his tip closer to her whimpering mouth.
"—for not sucking your dick right. Please, I can suck your dick so good!"
Portia fondled her left breast and groped between her legs to flick her clit. Begging him for a chance to prove herself was the only goal she had in life. She needed him to cum… couldn't take her next breath until he was satisfied. Killmonger had scorn written all over his expression.
"Daddy, I'm sorry…" she whined.
"Oh fuck, dassit, dassit!" he shouted.
Hot cum shot out in thick ropes all over her cheeks and lips, accompanied by a roar from his throat that enhanced his release. She opened her mouth to catch the last drops of his orgasm and she came all over her own fingers while enjoying the pure ecstasy on his straining face.
"Damn, Portia… oh… baby… shit!"
Another streak of cum shot out, and he aimed it for the other side of her face. His ejaculate dripped down, and she rubbed it onto her chest, showing him how much it meant to have him all over her breasts. He gave a low laugh and stumbled back.
"Whew… damn, girl. I was tryna hold back for so long. Your head game is fucking superb."
She licked her fingers and then stared at him.
"You were playing with me?" she asked.
"Not at first. You're used to simps being satisfied with the bare minimum. I'm a grown-ass man who needs you to show and prove with this dick. It's not for the weak, and you showed the fuck out."
He lifted her up, and she didn't want him to do anything else until she had wiped her face and chest off with a wet wipe. Killmonger hugged and kissed her afterward. They stood in the boat, necking until she couldn't take any more. She climbed him like Santa Claus was bearing gifts and wrapped her legs around him.
"I want you sitting on my mouth," he said between desperate kisses from her lips.
She slid down his body and he situated himself comfortably on the blankets. Portia squatted over his face and planted her pussy on his lips. He let it rest there, feeling the wetness all over before humming and moaning into her flesh.
"Ooh," she moaned, scissoring her clit.
He slapped her fingers away, and she looked down at him. The glow from the lamps made his eyes a liquid brown dream, and he slathered that wide tongue up and down her folds, circling her clit with the tip. He held onto her ass cheeks and she mewled and bit her bottom lip to keep from hollering out his name. Killmonger slapped both of her ass cheeks before sliding his hands under and over her thighs to lock her down on his tongue. He made it stiff, and she lifted herself to let him insert it nice and snug inside of her. Cradling her breasts, Portia went up and down and he fucked her with tongue, lips, and groans that vibrated her folds.
"Killmonger!" she yelled, not caring if pirates, snakes, Mimi, the Coast Guard, or God heard her cries of pleasure.
His tongue was delectable on her pussy and inside of it. The strength of his hands supporting her, his burning gaze rooting her to his lips… everything about him gave her chills. The effort to cum was minimal. Her orgasm shattered her ability to think clearly anymore. She babbled something or other like she was talking in tongues at her old church back in South Carolina. Bucking and yelping made no difference. That man was going to turn her pussy out. She whimpered and fell forward, unable to move any limbs. His laughter at pleasing her bounced all over the cave and she joined him, reveling in the joy that their bodies could share with one another.
Killmonger held Portia carefully in his arms as they kissed.
The taste of the deepest part of her stayed on his tongue and he shared the gift of that with her. She clung to him as if she feared him disappearing into the wet, rainy night. He had to do a patrol and fished around for night vision goggles he found stashed in a sideboard on the boat. Putting on his pants and combat boots, he didn't bother to wear a t-shirt and just tossed on his black jacket. He stuffed the satellite phone into an inside pocket and strapped his Glock around his thigh.
Portia watched him under the blankets, staring up at him with so much lust that it tempted him to forego an island sweep to stay with her. Grabbing an unfinished water bottle, he knelt down next to her and pressed his warm lips against her forehead.
"Keep it hot for me," he said, winking at her.
He wasn't finished with her by a long shot. They only experienced oral sex, each taking turns to taste and learn the other's private parts intimately.
Killmonger trudged out of the cave with Portia's scent on his beard. He placed the night vision goggles on once he was out of her sight. He hiked around, searching the sea even as a light rain came down on him. Without Portia being with him, he could get around fast. He turned on the phone and checked for any missed calls from the Greek Coast Guard. They were operating under extreme weather conditions on their end, despite the mild display on their side. Killmonger was glad that they found a place to hide that shielded them. He hoped the bad weather stayed outside of Crete and didn't follow their rescue unit.
Nothing unusual appeared on the horizon. Confident that they were in the clear, he took a moment to let the soft rain bathe his face. He hiked back to Portia and rinsed himself off before getting back into their boat bed with her naked again. She threw her arms around him like she was his woman, greeting her man after a hard day's work.
Oh, how the tables had turned!
Hiding away turned her into a bubbly, humorous woman who sought beauty all around her. It mesmerized him, watching the glow on her face as the sunrise brought her to tears that morning. She was thankful for the plain food they had to eat, and she didn't complain too much about their situation or bug him about checking the phone more than he did. His leadership and take-charge attitude allowed her to fall back into a space of just living in the present. He liked that version of her and wondered if the ice princess persona would return once they were rescued. Killmonger hoped not.
He sank his tongue back in her eager mouth and they kissed for an hour, stopping to catch their breath and caress each other. Her eyes became dewy for him and she couldn't stop touching him or being hugged up next to him. He made her lay back and played with her clit, dipping his finger inside her pussy just to watch it contract around his fingers, trying to keep them inside.
His dick became a turgid beast and hung heavy between his thighs. There were no condoms available. He had some on the yacht where he thought he might need them if he found a babe to his liking, but the only woman who turned him on was Portia. On the ship, he knew there was no way they would ever hook up. He wanted to fuck the boldness out of her back then, just to wipe that bitch queen attitude off her face. It baffled him at how quickly she wanted to submit to his domination of her body with his. He had suspected she wanted to be dominated, but not that fast.
Killmonger could've busted a nut all over her from the first ten minutes of sucking she did, but he pushed her to the limit to see if she would fight his heckling of her throat game. How he was able to keep control over his release was a miracle. He was ready to blow his load when she spit on his dickhole and cradled his balls in her hand, staring up at him with those formerly insolent cat eyes. Killmonger kept pushing her until she broke and gave him what he wanted. Her apology made him cum so hard. All he could think about was her telling him to shut the fuck up when he told her about herself. That woman got on her knees and sucked the glory out of his dick. Begged to please him. That shit amped him up.
Portia held his dick in her capable hands. They both wanted to fuck.
God!
Nice tits. A dangerous ass. Mouth game beyond ridiculous. How was Quinton not in that woman twenty-four-seven the entire time on that yacht? Portia walked around with that prize pussy, advertised it to the world all week with skimpy swimsuits, and Killmonger regretted not throwing caution to the wind and just stepping to her. Game peeped game. They could fuck and fight afterward. She was most definitely throwing hints he could get it on the yacht, but he stayed professional.
He leaned down and sucked on her neck. She panted, squirming against him, and he fingered her pussy slowly until she squeezed her eyes shut and her mouth fell open in agony.
"Fuck… I wish I could give you what you need, girl," he groaned into her ear.
She touched his scars like they were precious to her.
"You can," she said in a hushed voice.
"Without a condom?" he said.
Her gaze didn't flinch, and she pouted those succulent lips.
"I almost got killed. I'm stranded on an island with a mercenary. A hurricane could blow through here and end us both tonight. I have nothing to lose," she said.
Shit.
Killmonger regarded her face to make sure she was serious.
"I'm checked for STIs every three months," he said.
"Six months for me. I've been with Quinton for a couple of years. We normally use condoms and have unprotected for special occasions only. He's a germaphobe and I'm pretty sure Tiana was his first outside fuck. I'm on the pill, and… well… like I said, tomorrow isn't promised. This entire trip taught me that."
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"You don't have to if you don't want to."
"Trust. I want to. Been wanting to."
She grinned and ran her hand over his locs, rolling the end of one between her fingers.
"I have, too. All that teasing was to get your attention."
"You had it the moment you walked on board that yacht. I didn't like you… but I liked your confidence," he said.
He played with the end of one of her braids and fondled a diamond hair jewel.
"Are you like this in private, when you aren't being theatrical with all the spotlights?" he asked.
"Like what?"
"Unguarded. Open. Friendly."
"Sometimes. I run with a crowd that I have to have a protective shell with all the time."
"Sad life."
"What about you? You also put on an act. You're not mean all the time," she said.
"I'm direct. There's a difference. My job is life or death in precarious places with dangerous people."
"Have you ever lost an entire team before?"
"No. This was a major hit. Practically overkill. There were about ten men compared to my five, and they were using high-grade explosives. Most pirates want hostages or the ship itself. Those people came there for one thing. Do a wet job and bounce. You and I aren't supposed to be alive, Portia."
He cradled her in his arms. The scent of her hair was sugary sweet, like some exotic fruit and nutmeg. Their ardor cooled with their private thoughts and Killmonger listened to the rush of water lapping onto the cave shore. The wind picked up and howled down from the four-foot hole in the ceiling. He stayed awake and Portia slept deeply, the rise and fall of her chest soothing to him. If she had another nightmare, she'd wake up with him holding her. At two in the morning, he snuck away to patrol again. Heavier storm clouds accumulated in the distance and he expected stronger weather soon. A boom of thunder and spidery streaks of lightning zig-zagged across the sky. He popped the collar on his jacket and used his night vision goggles. A vast emptiness stretched out before him. For all he knew, they were the only people in the entire world. The cell phone had poor reception and the battery life was low. Hell, if no one showed up, they'd have to chance it back on the water. There were paddles and he'd get them to Crete one way or another with his own arm power once all the gas was used. He flipped on the locator beam's distress signal light. Survival was second nature to him. They would make it out.
Killmonger took his time going back to the cave. The darkness, the wind, and the rain comforted his mood.
No more civilian gigs.
He took the job as a favor to Clark, but he missed the offensive action of being in foreign countries. He'd give Clark a piece of his mind when he got back. The men he put together for Killmonger should not have allowed those killers to get that close. He had four men on water detail in all directions, and they allowed a boat to hit them swiftly and deadly. They were all executed, so he doubted they were in on the take. He would've caught on right away that it was a set-up when he first arrived. The attack crew had to have used a submersible to plant the explosives against the hull. It was something he would've done.
A heavier thunderstorm arrived, and he jogged back to the cave.
Portia was still asleep. Mimi was up, digging holes in the back of the cave, too distracted to bark or whine at him for attention. He took off his jacket and boots, climbing back beside Portia for warmth. She had curled into the fetal position under a blanket and looked so vulnerable. The cooler air and rain on his body made him shiver a bit, and he went to make another fire.
By early morning, the storm kicked up and the tide level in the cave increased. It wasn't enough to make them leave because the giant boulders and jagged smaller island formations surrounding the cave kept the larger waves from crashing to shore on them. The gigantic grayish-black clouds made the interior darker, adding to the dreary atmosphere as large raindrops showered their private beach.
Portia ate a cold-weather MRE of scrambled eggs, fruit bars, oatmeal, and a bland trail mix. He made them coffee again and ate his own meal before catching some sleep. With no phone reception and the bad weather making visibility terrible, he could afford to rest for an hour or two. He listened to Portia bathe on the other side of the cave. She hummed with a pleasant voice and spent some time by the fire alone with her dog.
The storm kept them quiet, and they became occupied with other things rather than each other until she found a kit of tiny board games inside a sealed bag. There were checkers, chess, Tic Tac Toe, and a deck of cards. They played speed with the cards and hunkered down to play checkers before lunch. Hunger and lunch skipped them as they got into a serious chess match. Later, they both played with Mimi, letting the dog chase them around the cave until Erik shouted bloody murder and flailed his arms around.
"What is it? What is it?" Porta shrieked, scared out of her wits.
"A spider dropped down on me!"
Portia blinked a few times, then burst out laughing. He swiped at his locs and a quarter-sized furry brown arachnid fell out of his hair and scurried on the sand. Mimi chased after it and they both beat pieces of wood on the ground trying to smash it. The dog gobbled it up and Portia grabbed her stomach from laughing so hard.
"Your big butt was scared of that little thing? I thought a tarantula fell on you!" she cackled.
"It's all the legs that creep me out, and they move real sneaky," he grumbled, embarrassed that he showed a weakness in front of her.
"Poor baby," Portia said, patting his back, "Mimi saved you."
He chased after Portia and lifted her over his shoulder, spanking her backside for teasing him. Another bigger spider dropped from the roof and landed on Portia. She damn near came out of her own skin trying to swipe it out of her hair. Killmonger let her run around like a chicken with its head cut off to teach her a lesson about making fun of him. She walked around with the heebie-jeebies afterward, terrified more spiders would come raining down on them like a horror movie. Rain, thunder, and spiders were forgotten when they crawled back into the boat together for a nap. She traced the shape of his scars with her fingers again, and he rested his chin on her head.
"I know this sounds crazy, but I really like it here with you," she whispered.
"Yeah?"
She nodded against his chest.
"I thought I would go stir crazy, but I'm actually grateful to sit still. Weird, huh? No TV. Internet. People. Just peace. No distractions. No one to impress or look good for. It feels like we're Adam and Eve here."
"No apples or snakes, though," he joked.
"What do you do when you don't work?"
"I sit still. Like this."
"Where?"
"That's classified information."
"Really."
"The less you know about me, the better."
"Is Killmonger even your real name?"
"No."
She never asked for his name. He was glad. She took the hint.
"We'll never see each other again after this," she said.
"No, we won't," he said with finality.
"You make me laugh, and you're a skilled chess player."
"You're not too bad yourself."
Portia sat up and took off her bikini again. Her eyes were loving and drank in his face. She helped him undress, then kissed him all over his face, touching his chin, and giving her lips to him before kissing down his chest, following the trail of hairs below his belly button until she had his dick in her mouth. She bobbed her head, and he said her name softly, praising her for how good she made him feel. Pushing him back, she held his dick upright and aligned it with her opening. He held his breath as she sank down on him. She grunted when she reached the bottom. His dick had her folds stretched all around him tight, creating a snug suction as she went up and down, taking her time. They locked eyes, and the arousal overwhelmed him. He gazed at their connection like he was in a daze and her pussy made his thickness shiny and slick. Portia rode him so well that his back arched and he lifted to press her against his chest as he thrust into her. Up and down she went, caressing her nipples, those expensive, icy-looking fingernails highlighting the hidden treasure that she was beneath all the posturing.
He had looked down on Portia before meeting her, his disdain at her Sugar Baby ways clouding his judgment on who she really was as an individual sans the glitz. Fucking him like that in a hollow cave on a lone island proved to him she was worth pampering and spoiling. If he had the money, he'd spend it on her himself. The pussy taking care of his dick was priceless.
"Turn around," he gasped.
Portia lifted and swung her legs the other way, leaning forward as she wiggled her backside for him. He palmed a fat cheek and her pussy swallowed his dick. She rocked back on him and he was blessed to watch her ass jiggle and his dick stretch her out at the same time. He whimpered in his throat with his entire face scrunched up at the intense pleasure. She rode the tip of his dick, and then placed those diamond nails on her ass cheeks, spreading them wide so he could see her pussy work. He slipped his thumb in her ass, and Portia moaned. She drenched his dick and the gushy sounds harmonized with his groans.
She showed out.
Circling her waist, she twisted her pussy on his dick and he couldn't take it anymore. He slapped her ass and forced her onto her hands and knees. Clapping her cheeks was the goal, and he made Portia call out his name as he gave her what she needed. Her pussy became disrespectful, and he tamed her depths, gripping her waist and deep dicking her nice and slow.
"Killmonger… Killmonger… Killmonger…" she panted.
The need to dominate surged in his loins. Flipping her over, he forced her to take the dick she so richly deserved. The pillow princess vanished and in her place was an erotically in-tune woman with full-body engagement. He threw her legs over his shoulders and cursed at how satisfying her pussy felt all around him. She had to have diamonds on her walls because whatever amount of money rich men spent on her wasn't enough. Her grip on his dick had him moaning and choking up his curse words in his throat. She took him deeper and his glutes clenched tight, helping him pump death strokes into her. The cave was full of squelching and grunts, and he watched their shadows moving on the cave walls from the fire. Her hips wiggled seductively, and he hunched down low to kiss her lips and feel her breasts smashed against his chest. They were beyond fucking at that point, moving into the primal state like they were the first man and woman to ever make love.
Scooting to her side, he held her legs up and stroked her walls from a new angle that knocked the sense out of her. Those pouty lips stayed open and her eyes took on a glazed look as if she couldn't believe what was happening to her. Her breasts bounced with each thrust and she glanced down to watch his dick ruin her. She chewed on her lip when she saw what was happening to her pussy. He snaked his hips and hit another angle within her and she called out to God. He stayed working that spot, stroking it until his body became a stiff plank focused on only one task: making her cum hard on his dick.
She rubbed on her clit, and those pretty nails had his balls moving.
"Baby… I feel it… 'bout to cum…" he gasped.
"You wanna cum in my pretty pussy?"
The wantonness in her voice urged him on.
"Pussy so good… fucking me so good… dick so hard…" he chuffed with abandon
"You want to make a big mess in my pussy?"
Her voice electrified him. It pushed him to give her his best and yet it challenged him like she was internally comparing him to others and he was coming up short. It was arousing, but it irked him too.
"Take it… take Daddy's dick," he grunted.
Her eyes changed, became coquettish, and it threw him off. His skin was on fire and dripped with sweat, and the sound of her voice encouraged him to tame that pussy. She dared him to. Portia's face transformed into a woman who wanted some Daddy dick to control her. Her right hand fondled the nape of his neck and those long nails scraped there with seductive pressure.
"I don't know if I can take all this dick the way you want," she taunted. "So big…"
He groaned, and she latched on to that sign of weakness.
"You're taking it… all this dick," he grunted.
"Are you sure? I'm trying to make it all fit for you," she said, all breathy.
"Oh, fuck!"
What was she doing? Playing coy? She acted like some virgin who had never had dick before. Her tone was ultra-feminine. She tucked the nail of her index finger between her teeth and looked down at his dick stretching those sweet walls. Her eyes were wide with wonder at the sight, and that coquettish energy fed him what he needed. Dominance.
"Nobody fuck you like this?" he grunted.
She shook her head and kept her eyes on his dick, with that finger still in her mouth.
"Fuck my pussy," she said.
She looked at him with sweet, innocent eyes.
"Goddammit!" he cried out. "Spread those pussy lips!"
Portia widened those sticky folds and the sides of her fingers glided along his dick as he gave her all that he had left. She kept her finger in her mouth with her other hand and her beauty pushed him to the brink. He mounted her again in missionary and his sweat fell on her like the rain falling on the water. She kept her legs up, that pussy open, and that damn lone finger between her lips. Her reckless eyes gazed at him and his dick swelled.
"I'm cumming! Oh shiiitttttt, I'm cumminggggg," he yelled.
He shoved his hips forward and Portia pursed her lips. She squirmed and lost the battle to hold on.
"Ohmigod… Killmonger!" she shouted.
Her head fell back and her pussy contracted with strong clenches all along his erection. Their shouts of pleasure intertwined and became one with the back and forth of their bodies squeezing and throbbing together. He caught himself before collapsing on her, pulling out his dick and fisting the last of his cum all over her clit. She was a pool of sweat and satisfaction, and they gasped for air, staring at the cave ceiling. The rain continued to fall.
Portia curled against his chest.
Sleep came fast.
He woke up, and she was gone. So was Mimi.
Killmonger called to them before putting on his clothes and grabbing his pack. It was only early evening, and the rain had stopped. Fat gray clouds still squatted over their island, but the storm's driving power had moved on. He found Portia and Mimi at the peak near the beacon.
"Went for a walk," she said.
He sat down next to them and pet the dog on the head. Mimi licked his hand. Pulling out the binoculars, he checked the sea. A cool breeze ruffled his locs. The wind was still strong, and the water had a few whitecaps.
Wait…
There!
A ship.
Killmonger honed in for the telltale signs of Coast Guard markings. There was a Greek flag waving from the gray and white ship. Greek lettering in big white caps spelled out Hellenic Coast Guard. He watched it approach to make sure it was the real deal before pulling out the flare gun and shooting it. Dark orange smoke shot up high in the sky.
"It's them?" Portia squealed.
"Yep."
She hugged Mimi, and he turned on the emergency cell. The power went out, but he didn't care. He held Portia's hand, and they walked down to the cave. There was nothing to do but push their emergency boat into the water. It had just enough gas left to power them out into the open sea. Killmonger didn't want to wait for them to send a smaller boat. He needed Portia in a safe place fast with Greek government protection.
They sped out on the water, bouncing on the choppy waves. Porta kept looking behind her like she wanted to keep the image of their island in her mind. He gave her his outer shirt to wear on top of her bikini. She curled her legs under her wrap dress.
Killmonger aligned their boat against the large Coast Guard ship and the crew helped Portia up on a side ladder. He tied their boat to the larger one and knotted a rope around Mimi's dog crate so a crew member could help the dog get on board. Finally, he climbed up himself. The captain of the ship greeted them and gave them both blankets and hot coffee. Portia was damn near teary-eyed and she pressed herself against Killmonger, afraid to leave his side.
"Come inside," the captain said when the weather picked up outside.
They followed the man into a busy interior and sat down on cushioned seats that felt good after sitting on the sand and a hard boat bottom. A crew member handed them mugs filled with a thick Greek soup. They ate and Portia asked to use the head. She was led away further into the interior. The weathered-face captain asked him some questions and Killmonger's sixth sense kicked in.
Something was wrong.
There were too many men on the ship not dressed appropriately. Only the captain and a lieutenant had on a proper Greek Coast Guard uniform with their ranks on them. The others had dark clothing without rankings or insignias. The captain gave a weak smile and the perspiration on his forehead didn't go with the cool interior. Killmonger kept his tone normal.
"How soon can we make it back to the mainland?" he asked, thrusting his empty mug out for more hot coffee.
"It will take time. The weather has been tricky. We almost lost your signal," he said.
Killmonger nodded and moved over to a window. He counted the other men outside to get an accurate assessment of what he was up against and thanked his lucky stars that he opted to keep his Glock under his jacket. When he contacted the coast guard for help originally, he kept his identity vague, pretending to be a guest of Quinton. The attack team must've intercepted the Greek Coast Guard for their own nefarious use as a getaway ship. It had become a death trap for him and Portia.
Portia returned, all chipper. Her ice princess personality snapped back like a rubber band. She glanced at him and he pretended things were all good.
"Hey, baby, put Mimi back in her cage. We don't want her running around," Killmonger said.
The forced affection in front of the others surprised her. She walked over to the dog kennel near him and bent down to place Mimi inside it. After she locked the crate, Killmonger slipped an arm around Portia's waist and gently had her sit next to him.
"More soup?" The captain asked.
"No, thank you. When will we get back to Crete? Or is Athens where we're headed?" she asked.
Portia looked at Killmonger, and he sipped on his coffee to keep from answering right away.
"Would you like to rest, Miss Keith?"
The nervous lieutenant sensed the tension that had risen in the galley.
"There's an empty bunk you can sleep in until we reach port," the man said.
His name badge said Makris.
"You should go lay down. I'll check on you later. Take Mimi with you," Killmonger said.
Portia caught on that something was off. He leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"If there's a door, lock yourself in there," he whispered in her ear.
She kissed his lips and picked up Mimi. Portia showed no fear as she followed Makris. She played it cool and calm, like an iceberg. Good girl, he thought.
Killmonger had fourteen rounds in his Glock. He counted seven false crew members and only two regular ones. The rest of the original crew were dead somewhere on the ship or tossed overboard. He assumed Quinton had escaped on some other watercraft to separate himself from the killers. They wouldn't rush to kill them all until nightfall, with darkness as a cover. Something must've happened to their ship in order for them to risk hijacking a Coast Guard operation.
"She has heart medicine she needs. I forgot to bring it up from the boat we used," Killmonger said. The lie rang true to the men.
"We can have someone go down and get it for you," the captain said.
Vlachos. The captain's name badge gave Killmonger a second to look away from a bulky merc who sized him up.
"It's in a side slot in the back," Killmonger said, following the man out onto the deck again.
The bulky man climbed down the side of the ship and rooted around.
"The back," Killmonger called down.
The man held up his hands.
"Hold on," Killmonger said.
A few more killers came out to watch him as he climbed down. One in the boat. Six up top. Perfect.
"That boat has a lot of tricky compartments," Killmonger said.
A wave buoyed the boat, and they both lost their balance for a second. Killmonger pretended to dig into a slot near the side of the ship and unlatched the boat, letting it float away. He dropped low, pulled out his Glock, and shot the bulky man dead. The man fell over the side with a soft splash. Shots from above popped over his head, but he turned on the motor and glided around the other side. Once he reached the gap he needed, he slammed his hands around the front M60 7.62mm machine gun and blasted at the men. He ripped through four right away. One caught him slipping and clipped Killmonger in his shoulder. It wasn't enough to stop him, but the distraction gave Vlachos and Makris the opportunity to jump the last two killers and wrestle them. Killmonger zipped back toward the ladder again. He hooked the boat and hustled back to the top. Vlachos took a shot in the chest but apprehended one assailant. Makris knocked the gun out of another merc's hand and bashed his head against the deck floor, knocking him out.
Blood pooled and cooled all over the deck with the other dead men.
Portia ran out of seclusion and grabbed him so hard that it knocked the wind out of him.
"Your arm," she said, touching his bleeding wound.
Killmonger shrugged it off.
"We gotta help him," Killmonger said, nodding over to Vlachos.
Vlachos waved them away.
"Bullet passed right through," Vlachos said.
Makris helped the captain back into the galley and tended to both injured men with a first aid kit. They revealed to him the sordid story of how they ran into the armed men on their way to find them, coming across their distressed vessel that had stopped working because an engine fire left them stranded. The hijackers shot their initial crew of eight down to only two when they tried to fight back.
Killmonger was exhausted by the time he tried to rest on a bunk bed. Blood loss tired him out and so did Portia, who fussed over him with tears streaming down her face, thinking she had heard him being killed. She crawled on top of him despite his pain, too frightened to leave his side. He fell asleep to her soft humming and stroking of his locs.
Portia, Makris, and Vlachos arrived in Crete the next morning.
Killmonger had disappeared.
The military boat they escaped with was gone. She relayed the deadly adventure to the press and her photos were blasted worldwide. First came the press tours, then the exclusive paid interviews. A book deal followed along with a movie deal and three-part docuseries. She milked every opportunity to tell her story as the only survivor and was paid handsomely for it.
Returning to New York, she hid out in a penthouse for months, searching all over the internet for any trace of Killmonger. If it had not been for Makris and Vlachos corroborating that the man did indeed exist, she may have convinced herself that he was a figment of her overactive imagination. Two of the killers that survived the Coast Guard ship confessed to being hired by Quinton. A global manhunt seemed never-ending. When billionaires were murdered in cold blood, people cared. She attended memorials to all the victims, making sure she looked fabulous in Thom Browne and Prada fashion with her signature Chanel shades. Portia wasn't close to any of the people she partied with on the yacht, aside from Quinton. However, leaked photos from her private social media account showed merry faces prior to them leaving Athens on the first day of the New Year's trip. It brought comfort to the families, and they invited her to spend weeks in various billionaire enclaves where she spun stories about their rich sons being brave and attempting to save the women. All lies. But it gave the loved ones a sense of closure and peace.
After a year, her life returned to jet-setting and fashion weeks all over again. Her misadventure bolstered her popularity because of the glamorous photos of her being escorted from the Greek Coast Guard ship in her knitted alabaster bikini. For someone experiencing a traumatic event, Portia looked fashionable as fuck.
Media ate up the haunting tale of Quinton living a double life somewhere. Media blasted his life history around the world as the biggest true crime story to come along in years. Many speculated that he had drowned or killed himself because he couldn't be found anywhere. Portia guessed he lived in a country where he couldn't be extradited. The hoopla died down until her book came out. Then there was a buzz about the casting for the movie. Depression set in then.
Portia visited a few therapists, but none could help her cure the anger that sat in her spirit like venom that she couldn't spew out. She wanted Quinton's head on a plate. He needed to pay for what he had done. It didn't matter to her that the people he killed weren't her genuine friends. He ended human lives because of greed. She couldn't get over that he took the bitch route to jumpstart his fortunes. As smart as he was, he couldn't develop or create something new and amazing that made him rich in the first place. An existential dread lived in her gut. Portia couldn't free herself from the lack of justice. Jetting around the world with Mimi in tow didn't heal the pain. New diamonds, furs, and fancy cars lost their luster. Revenge burned in her soul.
She turned toward the dark web to search for Killmonger. Using some of her movie money, she hired the best ex-CIA and former Black Ops agents to help her find her mercenary lover. One former field agent told her the best that could happen was Killmonger would catch wind of her search, but no one could actually contact him. That was good enough.
The Swiss Alps looked like he imagined.
Cold, white, and jagged.
The job called for a remote location and this was as remote as it got. Killmonger rolled the late-model SUV into a long, isolated driveway that hadn't been plowed for a while. He parked when he couldn't drive any further, and dragged a large black duffel bag out of the trunk, along with an arsenal of small weapons in a backpack. The thick powdery snow cushioned and muffled his steps. All the lights were on in the mountain luxury chalet he came to. His target was inside. The cloudless night sky made the snow glittery with the moonlight and security lights surrounding the property.
Cold air made puffy clouds of his breath. His lungs burned from the exertion and altitude. He tapped his wrist computer and all the security cameras shut down within the chalet. The woman inside had a wineglass in her hand and talked on a cell phone, clueless that he was outside approaching with stealth. The lights in the interior winked out, then came back on suddenly. She turned her head and stared out through the large glass windows. Her eyes glossed over the valley below that was filled with snow that would have more dumped by midnight. Flakes had already fallen down on his way up a winding road.
He waited.
The front door opened, and the beauty stepped out in a long white fur coat reminding him of Goldie from the old Black flick, "The Mack". She still rocked expensive diamonds, and Ma carried herself like the ice princess she would always be.
Portia.
He stepped into the light and she grinned, relief creasing her brow and her lush lips spreading into the biggest smile. His heart dropped for a moment. She almost looked like she did back on their island.
"Killmonger," she said.
Her voice made him move toward her. She helped him with the small backpack and he hauled the duffel up the steps and into a cozy, warm interior. A fire burned in the fireplace and Mimi jumped around his legs.
"Hey rat dog," he teased.
He dropped the duffel near the door and lifted the dog. Portia took off her coat, revealing the slinky silver dress with the low-cut front he admired before he came in.
"Bring yourself over here," he said, dropping Mimi to the floor.
She sauntered to him, walking like a runway model, exaggerating her hips as she moved and draped her arms around his neck. He inhaled her lovely scent and memories rushed back of him and her alone… making love. Killmonger kissed her first, and she opened her mouth to envelop all the warmth of his tongue.
Two years.
They hadn't been in contact with each other in two years since he disappeared from her life. He went back to work for Clark and dropped off the radar soon after. The fame of their adventure dazzled his eyes when he went to a movie theater in Morocco and watched a film that was almost true. The actress that played Portia was gorgeous, but she lacked aloofness and sublime sensuality. Their sex scenes were amplified and gratuitous. There were long scenes of them fucking in water that never happened, and also one of them screwing on the Coast Guard ship. Also, untrue. The actor that was supposed to be him wasn't even a close approximation of Killmonger, but women loved him at the box office and the film became a blockbuster. The docuseries blew up, too. Portia became a media star and super-rich by doing nothing except being beautiful and caught up in some greedy foolishness. Some girls had all the luck with pretty privilege. The anomaly was her being a beautiful Black woman with an intriguing action-adventure-romance story. It did not shock him when Hollywood tried to white-wash the film by recasting Portia as a white blonde. That idea dropped, but they did cast a Black biracial British actress to play her. Think pieces blew up around that.
He got word of her searching for him.
It was only a matter of time. He thought of her often as he worked throughout the Middle East and West Africa. His notifications blew up during fashion weeks and he scrolled timelines to see what she had on and found out how her life was going. She dated often, but nothing serious. Her mystique intensified and everyone wanted her at their major events and parties.
He sensed her unhappiness.
Quinton, getting away with murder, rubbed too many white, rich people the wrong way. A Black man double-crossing billionaires and profiting from it... alive somewhere? Unheard of. Portia survived with the sting of betrayal hovering around her.
Killmonger smacked her ass, and she gave him the glass of wine in her hand. He drank it down, and she took it away, resting it on a side table.
The duffle moved.
Mimi growled and barked at the large black canvas bag and Killmonger knelt down, unzipping it. Stuffed inside was Quinton, tied and gagged. Portia picked up the smaller backpack she carried into the chalet for Killmonger. She opened it and he moved his hand around in it.
"Your choice of weapon, Ma," Killmonger said.
Portia lifted a modified Maxim 9 with a built-in silencer.
"What a way to ring in the New Year," she said, kissing him.
She dropped to one knee and peered at her prey.
"Hello, Quinton. Long time no see, baby," she said.
The iciness of her voice chilled Killmonger. Quinton's desperate eyes pleaded for mercy. She would give him none.
Portia zipped the bag up and stuffed the Maxim 9 back into the pack. She grabbed Killmonger's hand and pulled him toward some stairs.
"I'll save him for midnight when the fireworks go off. Right now, I want you," she purred.
Killmonger followed his ice princess. They had some reacquainting to do in the privacy of a luxury bedroom with fresh snow falling outside.
"Happy New Year," he whispered before kissing her all over.
A.N.:
Brought an oldie but goodie back! I first published this on here back on October 11, 2022, a month before "Wakanda Forever" came out. I thought I would expand this into a longer piece and indie publish it with some other stuff I took down from here, but I decided to put it up again because we need fun things to read in these daunting times with Cheeto dust back in office. Enjoy and please reblog!
#killmonger fanfiction#Killmonger Smut#Erik Killmonger#erik killmonger fanfiction#Erik Killmonger X Black Reader#Black Panther Fanfiction#Erik Killmonger X Black Female OC#Uzumaki Rebellion
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Thanks for the peer review o7 i will use this power for ramble
I do think that a lot of the fic sex/romance issues were started in a genuine push to not spread misinformation, bc iirc fics used to parrot a lot of common myths re: intercourse (even moreso than now), especially ones about non-"traditional" non-cishet practices. And safety. And anatomy.
Which, it's cool and good to see a push for sex positivity and education! But I do feel there's now a pressure (internal or external) for the sexual aspects of fic to be textbook safe, sane, and consensual in all avenues.
I have 2 main reasons (beyond fic ≠ sex ed) that the squeaky clean route shouldn't be our only route. Which are: characterization, and erotica vs romance.
Firstly, characterization:
Intimacy can be an amazing way to explore characters, a relationship, or even a setting in your story. You can miss out on a lot by treating sex as simply a lesson rather than a tool in your narrative toolbelt!
Tbh I think the reason gen z ppl (like me) often say we "hate sex scenes" in media is bc they feel unnecessarily explicit or unnecessary in general, and we often don't have the language for what the problem is. Or we misattribute the ickiness to sex scenes happening at all!
I'm grayace and they can be boring af, or sometimes creepy as hell for reasons unrelated to the narrative (stop auteur directors now! /hj).
But one of my fave fave fave book series is the Binding Light trilogy by Freya Marske (I think the author's on tumblr actually), in which the sex scenes are narratively pivotal. And I, the sex scene hater, love the series sm I didn't even have to look up the title or author just now!! Unheard of!!!
These books are so dear to me bc the intimate scenes mirror both the (wonderful, superb) magic system AND the characters' relationships! Their sexual vulnerability and connection evolves alongside the characters' development. I've never before rambled about breathplay as a metaphor for trust, but Marske had me writing ESSAYS. My apologies to my friends' DMs
At first I had skipped those sex scenes, but once I had to go back for plot info, actually reading them made me go "oh holy shit this is all important".
I think stories miss that relevence pretty often. You don't NEED to have sex scenes, but also you CAN have them wherever it feels right.
IMO It's important to treat intimacy (of all kinds) in a work as character exploration first, rather than purely mile markers or something for characters (and writers) to "get a good grade in"
Moving on to erotica vs romance:
I've recently been watching a lot of SAVY WRITES BOOKS on youtube, and in one of her CoHo reviews she talked about the difference between works labelled "erotica" and "romance".
To her, romance novels have a sense of realism, they exist in a world that functions (at least adjacently) like ours. A romance would treat consent and safe sex like we do irl (or some historical equivalent based on setting). Basically, characters wouldn't be able to smash in a subway car without getting charged with public indecency.
Thus, if the characters were practicing BDSM, they would on some level acknowledge they're performing a scene (ex. consent check-ins and safewords). Here we have some level of RACK. Or if its unhealthy, there's framing acknowledging that fact!
Whereas erotica exists inside that BDSM scene! An erotic fic that tags its kinks and content correctly has given you enough for you to have informed consent. If you read the fic, you will thus be reading the "fantasy" of a BDSM scene. We know this isn't necessarily realistic or healthy, and that's fine! We read it with the knowledge it's not meant to be!
Uhhhh so. This was a really long way for me to explain "fanfic isn't sex ed so it's fine if they don't always use contraceptive"
tl;dr Intimacy and sex are cool for characterization. And smut is a Scene, if a person is informed of its contents all consent is accounted for :)
author’s notes today: hey guys so just a warning there isn’t 100% explicit verbal consent even though they’re both really into it so remember this is FICTION, also they don’t use a condom :((( but in real life safe sex is important!!! please be safe out there everyone
a/n back in the day: kept thinking about ____ stabbing knives through both of _____’s hands to pin him in place while they fucked so here you go lol =P
#nsft#fanfic#im using that bc its relevent gdi#cw sex mention#i am sorry mutual and op but. i had an excuse to rant about one of my favorite books series#and intimacy as a characterization vehicle can be SO COOL#i spent too much time on this i need dinner#harp rambles
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sometimes i mourn the fact i'll never get to have the relationship i wanted. the fact that men basically care just about getting sex, and everything else is secondary at best; the fact they will never be an ally of our class for all my lifetime; the way they talk about our body, the way they discredit our minds, the lack of genuine interest and the pure sense of possession they feel instead of the tenderness that love should be. i cant stop thinking about the fact that brothels have existed for longer than women's right to vote, because access to our bodies has always been more important than our social contribute. even the most perfect of all men has his sexuality shaped by porn and the general sexual objectification of women, and has grown up surrounded by a misogynistic society; he still has a privilege he doesn't care to address.
and although i am so so happy to be 4b sometimes it feels so weird - right by my side there should be half of the human population, other human beings, someone I can learn to love and with whom to explore the world. and yet they are as of now the biggest threat to me, to my sex class. unable to see me as anything than a mean to an end.
i am not making a logical discussion but a sappy, emotional vent: it hurts to be constantly aware. it hurts distrusting half the people i know. and yet i am proven more and more to be in the right. but why couldnt they just enjoy our presence as equals? in a dumb way, i take it on biology for making our gametes so different milions (bilions?) of years ago. i say maybe, if we evolved differently, all this would have never happened: i would not have to treat feminism as my ultimate end because feminism isnt needed, and i can instead focus my energies somewhere else. i wouldnt waste my efforts in protecting myself from a sex that actively hates me. i would be able to explore love and sexuality in a healthy, carefree way and enjoy the laughter of friends and relatives and of my life-long partner.
but a male relative of mine has pedophiliac tendencies, and my male "friends" got contaminated with andrew tate parasites, and "life-long" male partners abuse and kill their girlfriends and wives, cheat on them, financially neglect them. a prostitute is richer than a wife: i know where men's priorities lie.
and yet in a humiliating to admit, sad way, it's disheartening. maybe in another lifetime we evolved differently and none of this happens; maybe it's just the bad timeline
#this is embarassing to post but i know no shame anyway so i dont care#heart-felt#tbh i think that many osa 4b women will get the disheartening feeling#i put this into words bc i know i am not alone#sacrifying my pride to be relatable#lol
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Would you consider writing some enemies to lovers with Emmet or Ingo? 🥲
YES!! I WOULD LOVE TO.
Dearly Detested
Pairings: Emmet x gn!Reader
Warnings: None :)
You and Emmet have known each other since you were both in school - Rival Classmates
While you're both equally intelligent and passionate about battling, you have better social skills then he does. and it pisses him off.
No matter whether he beats you in a battle or not, your classmates still side with you. It isn't fair!
In your mind, this uppety jerk has been far too blunt with you. He's insulted your battle strategies, insisted that bug types (ugh, ew!) are the best, and has generally been a pest demanding battles from you.
Thankfully, once you're old enough, you're able to part ways and go on your separate journeys. You both breathe a sigh of relief at never having to see the other again.
Cut to many years later, you've just started work in Nimbasa, and who do you happen to see on a local billboard - surely it couldn't be that smug bastard and his shithead twin?! No way they're so successful!
Oh you have to beat him in battle.
You pick out the strongest members of your team and start to challenge the double lines.
It's... much harder than you expected. You're not used to double battles, but you're determined to knock that stupid grin off his face.
Emmet, meanwhile, is very satisfied watching his old rival get their team knocked out again and again.
When you finally reach him, he's almost impressed. Almost. But he can't help rubbing it in your face a little.
"I am Emmet. You have spent a long time getting to my car. Do not worry. This will be your final stop."
You're so angry that you let it get to your head, and you lose. Badly. All of your hard work and here you stand, humiliated.
"What a shame. I expected better from you. But you know, in a Double Battle, if you misread one thing, the rest will be totally different. Please win 20 battles in a row, and fight with me again."
You're going to kill him. You're actually going to kill him.
The next time you come through, you have a new strategy. It works well for you. You work through his team methodically - this time you won't let your emotions get the better of you - and you come out victorious.
"Not bad! That was a verrry exciting battle. It was fun! The next time you challenge me, I won't lose."
Your ire has been cooled by your victory. Despite yourself, you find that challenging the subway has been the most fun you and your team have had in a while. So you go again. And again.
Your battles with Emmet are always new and exciting. You try to come up with as many interesting strategies as you can, and you can tell he's doing the same. You challenge each other. It's fun to have someone who can keep up with you.
Emmet has been keeping an eye on you during your battles. There's a lot you can tell about someone from the way they fight with pokemon. You're different then how you used to be - smarter. Nicer too. You treat your team so well, even when you lose you're never upset with them.
Over time, bitter banter makes way for a certain playfulness between you. You've been fighting for so long that most of the bad blood between you has been washed away with the flow of time.
One autumn afternoon, you're buying popcorn for a flick at the local movie theater, and who should happen to saddle up beside you but the subway boss.
"Look what the purrloin dragged out! Didn't realize you ever left the tunnels."
By wild chance, he's here to see the same movie that you are. You sit together because you know each other and it's convenient. Definitely not for any other reason, you tell yourself. Certainly not because you're friends.
When it's over, you still have much of the afternoon left. You could go home, or...
Neither you nor Emmet want to part ways quite yet. What a difference from how you used to be, when you couldn't wait to get away from him. You spend most of the afternoon together, walking through one of the local parks and just talking. It's nice. You have more in common then you thought you would.
Perhaps this could be the beginning of something wonderful.
Thanks for reading 💕
Emmet happy that he won and reciting his script vs Reader wanting to gut him
#jackass emmet ilu <3#emmet x reader#pokemon#submas x reader#submas#emmet#emmet submas#submas emmet x reader#pokemon emmet x reader#my writing#mailbox💌#x reader
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(re; ready to hear beef)
Always o7
there are several stages to the beef i have, but starting off:
toxic positivity - everyone says they're suprised when something bad happens in the fandom because "everyone's so nice!", like the previous isat-confessions blog or the person who shipped bonnie and siffrin. it's almost impossible to keep a fandom safe if you're constantly thinking, "no that wouldnt happen here, everyone here is too nice!". and as a part of this, most people are afraid to say anything against the dev themselves. i noticed it a lot with some of the questionable official merch - and ESPECIALLY with how the physical copy covers turned out. several people were thinking it looked badly made, but were surprised to see others felt the same/scared to say anything out against it. why? because the fandom has nurtured this idea that Nothing Can Go Wrong Here. this is also in part with how the dev treats their audience and the franchise as a whole.
refusing deviation - at first this sounds weird, but i mean that the majority of the fandom refuses to create their own idea from the game that isn't 100% what the dev wanted it. so many asks are about what is "okay" to make based off it, what they're allowed to do with the characters and what they're allowed to change. everything bends at the dev's words, i have rarely seen someone actually make something their own based on the game. i have yet to see (in my personal experience here), someone take one of the characters and change them entirely based to what they'd like the story to be. sure, people have made AU's based on if mira or isa or odile or any other character was the one in the loops instead, but all of it is stringent on if it Fits With What The Dev Said About The Game. instead of taking the game they loved and making it their own, it has to be part of the rules that were given. i mean look at the undertale fandom, look at all the sans' versions and the different AU's that were made based on the game. in the ISAT fandom there are few AU's that aren't just meant to be sequels or spinoffs to the game itself. this also makes it hard to have a differing opinion on official art, on popular ships (like isafrin and sifloop), and having differing thoughts to the dev. people are simply afraid to disagree because it would disrupt such a "nice and welcoming community"
romanticization of mental illness - this ties into the toxic positivity, but i can't name how many times someone has said "im so siffrin!" and enjoyed that they refused to communicate with their friends. i have witnessed firsthand just how easy it is to fall into the thought that being siffrincore is funny and cute and will get me the same happy ending that siffrin had. but it's not, and as a fandom there is some idea that being "So siffrin" is desirable. i also really don't appreciate how quick the fandom is to push plurality on it's members. over half the people i used to follow turned out to be plural - and while i have nothing against those of plurality - i am a little dubious of it's reality when each one of them had dozens of asks pushing that they had to be plural from the experiences they had. armchair diagnosing really does not work when you are only seeing a few posts a day. and even then instead of offering resources to prove or deny their suspicions, it is once again glorified into "youre finally one of us now! youre so siffrincore!"
i mean legitimately no hate with all of this. i am easily proven wrong with these and i understand that, and if you align with any of these that's none of my concern. but it really is turning into DCA fandom 2.0 and if it wasnt for the fact that selling merch is frowned upon by The Godly Dev we'd have so many more money scams than we'd know what to do with. if you dont like something please just say it and don't keep the peace.
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i'm back with another request favorite writer 😼, i was wondering if you could do Sun n Moon/Reader who's the daycare manager.
Essentially they help tidy, manage schedules, supplies, ect???
(sorry for not leaving more notes on your posts, tumblr doesn't show me ur stuff often 😭😭)
A/N: Hiii thank you so much for your kind words and patience?? My motivation has been on the floor but I'm trying to make it work somehow! Anyway, here is some mildly-annoying-coworkers to friends (to lovers) for your heart! :D
Sun & Moon x daycare manager!reader relationship headcanons
Please reblog this post! Likes make posts die :(
Masterlist
When you first got hired as the Daycare manager, you work was... Well.... Tough
To say the least.
Sun's sassy attitude and constant micro-aggressions were really getting to your nerves
And Moon.....
Well
Let's say you sometimes wondered if he saw you as his boss or his toy
He WILL jest around and stare at you while chuckling instead of following your commmands
Both of them don't really like the idea of having a human supervising them
I mean they're doing a super neat job on their own!! They don't need you!! Why would management send you here?!?
But surprisingly, instead of quitting
You actively try to work with them.
Unexpected I know.
You're not just bossing them around and yelling when they don't do what you want!!
You actually communicate with them to explain the goal of your missions and ask for their ideas when they refuse to do things your way!!
Okay to be honest how it ends up working out is truly a mystery to you
But after a while of almost constant bargaining
Welp the bargaining starts to lessen.
They do the activities you prepared instead of announcing a completely different unrelated thing to the kids
They don't argue as much about the schedule for naptimes
Hell, you can finally catch a fucking break
Of course you let them know how much you're thankful to them for agreeing with stuff (finally)
Sun also starts to get a little less mean, thankfully
You're greater at your job than he thought you'd be!! Different than the managers they had before, for sure, but it's a good thing!! You actually adapt your work and the schedule for them, and not despite them!!
He might start to take a liking for you
After a long while
I mean you truly are the first human handler to not treat them as objects
So of course it takes time for them to trust you
But Sun eventually does because he's just too much of a sweetheart
Moon just... Teases you a bit less. If that means anything.
(it does)
Or at least it's not mean teasing anymore
He's still a Creature™️ tho
Sun still acts confident and almost cocky at times, but it's not passive-agressive anymore
He can even appear charming at times, now that his jokes and remarks aren't meant to make you quit your job
And of course both argue from time to time
Or well, show their dislike of your commands in their own ways I guess
Their "own ways" being that Moon crawls up to the ceiling and sits in a corner upside-down to pout
And Sun just outright refuses to execute whatever you told him to do (and WILL get snappy if you insist)
The trips at Parts N Service are the worst, but you manage to get them down there two times out of three
But overall your relationship with the both of them is getting better and better everyday!
And you genuinely feel so glad the day they give you a friendship drawing!! You're officially their friend now!!
You almost teared up, but no one needs to know that
And then, they gave you another one
And another one
And MANY other ones
And plenty of them both holding your hands
Overtime, you became their bestest friend!!
Who could have thought you would end up being so close!!
Well you, at least, didn't expect it
Not that you're complaining!
You had to admit you grew VERY attached to them too
But oh boy was this development unexpected.
#wowie stopping there or i'll never post this#hope this pleases you!#i do love gentle sun but OUGH i would do anything for sassy sun#i cannot decide which version of them i enjoy the most#same for sweetheart moon i love the idea but damn creature moon is kinda........#like damn#anyway this was be rambling lmao#whispers from atlantis#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#fnaf daycare attendant#dca fandom#answered
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Some allo people have no empathy for what the aroace experience is actually like
Someone just texted me “being aroace seems like a pretty good deal” after putting me in a position where I had to reject him for the third time. After being out to him about being aroace for years.
Do you think it feels good to have to reject people? I know being rejected sucks and being in a position where fundamentally you will be rejected sucks. Doing the rejecting also sucks. It fucking sucks when the person in question knows it’s a hopeless pursuit, when they know it could never happen. Thanks a lot for putting me in a position where I have to reject you again. Where I have to be empathetic and tactful because you are my friend and I like spending time with you. I’m sorry but at no point did you ever have any empathy for the position you put me in. I have to play the mediator, the balancer, I have to put everyone else’s emotions above my own. I don’t have this ‘vital’ human experience, I don’t have this specific complex bag of emotions that comes with romance; therefore I don’t have my own complex emotions about people and relationships. He doesn’t respect my identity. He thinks maybe if he confesses enough, I’ll want him back. He doesn’t get that I just am not like that. Stop giving me the emotional burden of the exchange. He lets everything out, and I have to do all the emotional labour. He did all this knowing the outcome and now we are both unhappy and uncomfortable. If he was even a little bit empathetic of me, he’d get that everyone else, also thinks this way. So many people think that they are the ‘one’ that I might just like. People put me in this position over and over again thinking that they are special that they are different. “Being aroace seems like a pretty good deal” only if you’ve just been rejected and feel bad about it.
The actual aroace experience of a complex balancing act of trying to build the relationships you want without leading people on. Keeping everyone at arm’s length lest they fall in love with you. That sinking dread knowing that someone is growing attracted to you and they are going to try something about it and it will make things awkward, it will fuck the friendship up at least for a little bit because they’ve moved into some ‘higher’ state of relationship and you haven’t. Knowing they want something that you just can’t give to them. I want deep friendships but everyone just sees them as a stepping stone to ‘something more’. Being ‘friendzoned’ is a bad thing. I have one genuine deep emotional friendship, that I trust completely, that there isn’t this fear that I am going to have to reject them at some point. I want a network of strong friendships, and I can’t have that, but you can’t have your romance with me either, so I guess we’re both miserable. It sucks being the designated empathy machine, it sucks having to reject people over and over again.
I constantly have this attitude, from multiple people, that being aroace is optimal, people think that the worse thing that could ever happen to someone is rejection and heartbreak. They don’t stop to think from my perspective, being rejected is a rare occurrence anyway, it only happens when you ask, when you take a step forward. This is my life, this is my existence. I have to do this every day. This isn’t even covering the social expectations that you defy just by being aroace. I’ve sorry, but if you think “Being aroace seems like a pretty good deal”, you have never even considered what it might be like from the other side. People have this attitude that being aroace is a lot more flexible than it actually is, at least in my experience.
Don’t get me wrong, I like being aroace, it is who I am. But attitudes like this make me want to scream. Cause being aroace doesn't suck, but how everyone treats you for being aroace certainly does.
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wanting to draw art of me n my friends but its so funny bcs we are all fictives which makes it like, the funiest fucking crossover ever
#utmv x danganronpa x sally face x fnaf x ddlc x creepypasta x inmimb#chaos ensues#not signing this off but in sys members will know who i am#sysblr#system#plural#plurality#introject#fictive#fictive things#sourcemates? whats that (silly)#i do actually ahve sourcemates in sys that arelike#actually the same source the same memories everything#but#confession#that i havent really admitted to myself#i love them god do i love them but#they treat me so differently than my friends..#not badly or hate me or anything but like#they *know* me#theyve seen shit ive done#i can see the way they look at me with like#yknow when u can just feel someone pitying you?#yeah#and. i hate it. and they know i do but they cant stop it#but like. with my friends ive seen that shit yeah they know shit ive done theyve seen me like. when im bad#but. ive never seen them look at me with pity#not once i can remember#bcs they have their shit too#and we arent from the same source n i feel that helps somehow
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My post about Anya is making like a little ruckus on Twitter and I think it’s crazy how many people like have a problem with it.
Like you don’t have to agree with how I characterize Anya and her actions but it’s more like, why are you focused on only one aspect of her character? Why are you removing nuance from the situation? I don’t see it as giving Curly the benefit of the doubt when it comes to doing better for Anya, but as exploring his character and hers relationship with a the very little authentic facts we get about them. In truth, there’s a lot more I wish Curly did, even if it wasn’t pragmatic but I realize the issue there.
The first psychological horror game in a while that’s real intricate in its storytelling and makes you need to really need to address the morality of intentions and its already getting torn asunder smh 😔
#I don’t know if it’s the case of people who hate curly and think he should’ve just killed Jimmy won’t accept anything else#but I really am trying to get the idea that they were stuck for over a year in space together on a ship barely kept together with wildly#different and conflicting personalities who also got more hostile because they know they are going home to unemployment#it sounds heartless to say and he should have prioritized her more but in his head that’s not the only thing he has to manage and he has to#fit the necessary actions to take in his head with all that including his perception of them as a friend vs as a boss#idk I just don’t believe Curly was comforting Jimmy with the intent of helping him get rid of Anya. he wanted to help both of them he went#about it horribly like the game is literally about realizing how misguided you can be and that responsibility#and how to be responsible look different even if there are better options like it’s just weird just block my ass dawg#also I think the argument of how could the situation be worse if he stopped Jimmy is stupid cause it’s under the guise that Curly would#assume someone he trusted would just try and commit murder suicide or he’d get degloved and all his crew directly#or indirectly killed by that friend like sorry if that’s a reach statement like adding#your supplementary thoughts is how analysis is born but adding facts about events we don’t know happened and treating them like character#truths is lame is a cop out from actually engaging with parts of the story that adds grey areas to characters you wants to see in black#this is just a stupid like thing to me but it makes me sad cause I don’t even hate seeing depictions of Curly as more aware and#accommodating to Jimmy purposely but I need you to understand he thought he was doing the right thing for both his friends and his closest#friend but the key point is he thought he was doing right for both of them like what game were we both watching???#mouthwashing#like just block me pls like Anya would not share ur mindset or hold ur hand like do more than just pity her if you like her so much
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hate how angry and upset i get over normal things with good intentions behind them. can we just be fucking normal for once.
#boycritter et al#um. anyways. if we are not friends. do not say you will hug me. preferably dont imply any physical contact between us but#if we are not friends then that makes me very uncomfortable#if you are sending me an anonymous ask. the same applies.#even if you are my friend if you are anonymous i do not know who you are. and will treat you as if you are a stranger.#and will be very uncomfortable#idk. sometimes i think real life social rules should apply more on the internet#you wouldnt go up to a stranger in real life who was crying and just hug them. why is it so different on the internet.#anwyays. i doubt many people will see this. and i cant blame people for not knowing#bc its kind of an insane request to make and i havent really mentioned it#i just. i hate getting hugged irl by most people. if we're not very close i feel restrained more than anythinig.#i get that same feeling online even if theres no actual physical contact.
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I think the thing about the way people conceptualize empathy is... when you're interacting with other people, they are going through things that, which you may empathize with, you won't always understand, partially because you're two different people, but also because not all situations are 1:1 copy-pastes that are easy to understand.
This isn't saying that empathy is useless, but that acknowledging when you relate personally to somebody and yet also recognizing that this is their struggle is important. When people pretended to empathize with me, it made me feel like I was being placated to. I felt like people were only trying to shut me up by saying that they, personally, "get it," when I knew they didn't. I just don't want people replicating that because they genuinely do want to help the people in their lives.
#empathy#mental health#that's why i stopped talking to my dad for YEARS before he went on his own effort to learn about this sort of stuff#it just sucks to be treated as badly as you're feeling basically#and this doesn't even get into the idea that empathy isn't a requirement in human interaction for every little thing#empathy is as much a tool as any other experience can be - and like any tool you can use it in hurtful ways...#...even if you didn't mean to use that tool in that way#a friend of mine is going through Some Shit that i know from personal experience SUCKS ASS...#...but also. they're going through it in different circumstances and at a different time than me and that means it's a DIFFERENT SITUATION.#...so yes i know the heartache and the anger and the loss of will and all of that...#...but i don't know what it's like to go through it like they are and that is FINE#it's just frusterating seeing people act like empathy is going to fix the other person without any work being put into it#it's the fantasy of doing a lot with such little effort
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why is it always the forbidden fruit that entices me the most (´ . .̫ . `)
#🚶🏾♀️ not that it impacts the way i feel about anyone else but i actually do fr love my manager and it's crazy bc idk how or when this#happened. like i have fun by myself n i love my friends but i rly am at my happiest when I'm next to her huh (´ . .̫ . `) ♡#and that is a wild way to feel about someone i work with let alone who supervises me akdkaka#i still can't believe how naturally and affirmingly “i love you” jumped out of me the other day without thinking about it#and i do??¿ after thinking about it??¿ i would literally do anything for you#and she said she loves me too 😵💫 and we've never articulated that before. and now our talks feel more personal than before but it#was a much bigger conversation for sure (´ . .̫ . `) she's out of work this week though and I'm thinking about her.#🚶🏾♀️i wanna show her my knife throwing but idkk...... struggling w where the line between professional and personal needs to be 💀#i treat my work friends and my real friends very differently lol. i don't know (´ . .̫ . `) aaa#now that i said it it's like a dam of feelings burst ૮ – ﻌ–ა girl...#she has a husband. but he's a scrub. but she's my boss. but we're already so sweet to each other. but i shouldn't. but i want to#aaauuugghghfhfghhghkhkjltlskxkvofjw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ignore me and my pining (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ♡ im crazy about that girl. i really am huh.. 🚶🏾♀️#if you got to hang out with her u would get it.... i can't believe her man ain't shit... pls let me give u my attention#u don't have to be mine nor am i wanting that but let me take care of you (。ノω\。) ♡ u work so hard for everyone else#she's fantasizing.... ......... wanting.. contemplating...?..?? no. no....??¿......? ......... 😐 hm#lmao
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Last night I watched 3 children while their parents went to a concert—2 five year olds and an eight year old—and they were calling each other nonsense mean names. I asked what one of the names meant and they told me “it means Donald Trump.” I laughed at that because. Kids are funny. And then the LOOK that came over them all as they squinted at me suspiciously and the eldest asked me quietly, “are you voting for him, or are you voting for her?”
And guys they literally started cheering and dancing when I said I was voting for Kamala Harris and it was just the funniest sweetest little moment ever
#it’s been a while since I was charged with more than one kid at a time#but it was so fun to be back at it in a group#and it was FUCKING EXHAUSTING but also:#I still got it 😎#I also left with some very complex emotions about ‘problem children’#because it was one kid from one family and two siblings from another#and the parents of the one kid were saying some kind of awful things about the eldest sibling#and the other parents are their close friends so I’m like first of all: that’s not mature behavior at all#but the main thing they complained about was this older child wanting attention#and I’m not an early childhood professional by any means#but I’ve got about a decade of working with kids 1-16 under my belt#and usually if a child is acting out to get attention… that means that a need is being neglected#physical emotional or social it doesn’t matter#this ‘problem child’ was high energy and a leader in the group#but she’s also in a different developmental stage than the children she spends the most time with#of course she’s going to play differently#and want different attention than the 5 year olds do#she pushed some boundaries because I’m a new person but she didn’t give me actual trouble#and it just made me so sad to hear that after they all went to bed#I find that children respond better if you treat them like… actual people that want to be taken seriously#it’s my second time with the three of them together as a play group and I’m more sure of this than I was the first time#I have never yet met a ‘bad’ child but I have met too many children without the support and understanding they need#but maybe I’m just an eldest daughter……………………………
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^the sillies. 💛
#lem liveblogs#videos#xivposting#dt spoilers#OF COURSE THE QUEST CALLED ‘SIBLING RESCUE’ WOULD BE MY FAVORITE SO FAR. WAUGH#THE FUCKIGNG. SYNCHRONIZED DISTRACTION/ATTACK RUCRED MOMENT??? I DIDNT EVEN WRITE THAT THEY DID THAT FOR ME!!!!!HELLO!!!!! ZNFKWNDZ!!!!!!!!#rudy is making so many new friends already this expac :’). he’d get along with wuk l.amat instantly-#& would want to be close with eren.ville & now these recent events would’ve warmed him up entirely to k.oana. waaahhhh!!#i like how k.oana is introduced as the smartest claimant but is also shown to have a lot to learn from wuk l.amat.#they’re cute!! they inspire each other to grow!!!!! weh!!!! <33#i’m SURE the story will be flipped entirely on its head at some point because xiv loves doing that;#but if the dawnservant trials DO conclude without a great tragedy happening i hope wuk l.amat & k.oana help rule together.#they have such different areas of knowledge they could work togetherr….!! if everyone’s fine and there aren’t any Final Days moments .#i’m not sure what i expected from dt but i am enjoying it more than i thought… the environments are soo pretty!! :’)#xiv has gotten SO much better at portraying different cultures since arr. i hope i’m not speaking too soon but the people we’ve met-#have been treated with so much respect so far! and learning about everyone’s beliefs and ways of life is so fun!!!!#the same people in eorzea are treated so badly and isolated from everyone else its like night and day compared to tural my goodness .
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