#they treat me so differently than my friends..

[lunavagans]

I‘m bored, so.

1: Biological dad overwhelmingly neutral. He‘s there. Biological mother, 50/50, it‘s good now, didn‘t use to be, still nervous around her. Step-parent I get along well with, but not all too open with.

2: Nobody ever as far as I know. If I have, it was my cat.

3: So many things. I would‘ve done few differently. Still regret them.

4: Yes.

5: Single.

6: I don‘t care much, as long as it‘s painless and I outlive my pets.

7: Toasted bread with boiled egg slices for a small dinner.

8: No.

9: No.

10: Never had one.

11: Romantically, maybe. I‘m not sure. Rarely see her, anyway, the chance that something might become of it is tiny.

12: No.

13: Yes. Two teachers I had that treated me horribly for reasons I still don‘t understand. Maybe also my grandfather? Unsure.

14: Yes. Many people.

15: Yes, two cats.

16: Bored. Kind of numb.

17: No.

18: Yes.

19: No? Depends. In my own life, no. Back to the dinosaur age, yes.

20: Never kissed someone, so y‘know.

21: Maybe go to a protest depending on how I feel by then on Saturday, on Sunday an outing with my father to get him off my back for a while.

22: None of my own. Could imagine raising some that a partner brings with them, or adopting some. Two at most, though.

23: No.

24: Not sure. My best ones were english, german and art.

25: So, so many people. Mostly acquaintances I didn‘t become friends with but thought I could.

26: … Relief from my back pain maybe?

27: No, don‘t think so.

28: No.

29: No.

30: I‘ve been procrastinating studying for a while now.

31: I hope so. I think my mother does.

32: Orange.

33: Might have. I think it‘s more along the lines of abandonment issues.

34: I never remember my dreams.

35: I can‘t remember. The last times I cried, I did so in private. Except for that one time a bee bit my lip?? But that was in pain and fear, not much more. It really hurt.

36: I never have, nobody ever really wronged me. I think I would, but I‘d try to cut them off if they messed up again.

37: To forget.

38: I wish.

39: Haven‘t had it yet. Kind of glad.

40: Yes, on the balconey as a child. I wanted to get fresh laundry to get dressed but didn‘t see the point in covering up for ten seconds, since nobody could really see, anyway.

51: Salmon with rice and lemon sauce.

52: The reason can be coincidence, so yes.

53: Brush my teeth. Last night I was too tired to do much else.

54: No.

55: I can be, sometimes. Usually, I don‘t notice because I don‘t control my tone of voice well or things like that.

56: Nobody.

57: No.

58: Sunny.

59: Yes.

60: Yes.

61: Depends on the tone.

62: Warm laundry. My cats. Oranges. Getting a question right. Noticing progress in a language. Making progress with a WIP. Spaghetti ice cream.

63: Yes.

64: Never kissed someone.

65: Don‘t have friends. I‘d think it‘s cool, though. Maybe I‘d want to kiss them at least once. I don‘t know.

66: I don‘t have anybody I can do that with.

67: My step-parent.

68: I don‘t remember. It‘s been a while.

69: No.

70: Yes. Now that I think about it, more than I‘d like.

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[velvetvexations]

the way people talk about other trans people and our cis allies on here is just so horrendous

when i initially saw this discourse, i took the side of transgender radical feminists, because i have always been very critical of accusations against transfems. i have several transfem loved ones and i have been dedicated for years to making sure i unlearn transmisogynistic biases and am safe for my loved ones

i looked into these popular transfeminist blogs, specifically the ones ran by transfems, because i wanted to hear their stories. i was very taken aback by what felt to me like hatred and resentment towards transmascs. and i saw this type of stuff on the blogs of transgender radical feminists who AREN'T transfem, too

and i saw even more people talking about how awful cis people are, how cis people can never truly be our allies, how we need to separate ourselves from cis people

and i talked about this with one of my transfem friends. i talked to her about how i've found tumblr discourse and it feels like there is a portion of transfems online that hate transmascs. and i talked to her about it because i wanted to make sure i wasn't being transmisogynistic and having a knee-jerk reaction

and she told me that she doesn't hate transmascs. she told me that the things that were being said about transmascs WERE mean and hateful and cruel. she was very saddened, because these people on tumblr were sowing seeds of resentment between transfems and transmascs. she agreed that, while transfems face a unique subset of oppression in transmisogyny, transmascs also face a unique subset of oppression

all my other transfem loved ones also agreed. they said that no, i was not having a knee-jerk reaction, these were just genuinely cruel things to say about transmascs

i believe in anti-transmasculinity/transandrophobia/transmisandry/whatever you want to call it, because my transfem loved ones and i have diacussed it and they listened to me about my own oppression and agreed that there are unique ways in which we are all oppressed

i am not my transfem loved ones' greatest enemy. our cis loved ones are not our greatest enemies. transphobic cis people are our greatest enemies

i am the one who goes shopping with my transfem friends to find skirts that fit them. i am the one who teaches my transfem girlfriend about different types of bras. i am the one trying to help my transfem friend from america move to my country. my transfem friends are the ones who help me figure out mens' fashion and how to make my clothes fit me in a masculine way. our cis friends are the ones who treat us like people. not like freaks, or monsters, but like people.

transfems aren't my enemy. cis people aren't my enemy. transphobia and transmisogyny is my enemy

i can't understand why people don't love and appreciate our cis allies. after spending years being mocked and assaulted and abused by cis people for being trans, it's a breath of fresh air to see cis allies

like, with how popular it is to be transphobic nowadays, for a cis person to actively be our ally, they would have to be consciously monitoring their biases and actively doing their own research. they are ACTIVELY and CONSCIOUSLY making the CHOICE to stand with us. i love our cis allies so deeply

and i love my transfem sisters and nonbinary siblings, too. i have far more in common with transfems and nonbinary people than anyone else, even if i am a transmasc and transitioning in a different direction.

tumblr 'transfeminism' isn't helping my transfem loved ones. it isn't aiding them in any material way. letting them call me a theyfab does NOTHING to help them or to improve their lives. and THAT is why i hate this tumblr discourse. because these privileged pieces of shit are using the guise of transfeminism to be cruel to others, instead of materially helping other transfems like my loved ones

All very true anon. Thank you for sending in. <3

[lvnleah]

Would love a AWFC!Teen reader fic where she's Leah's younger sister who has always had to deal with being with Leah's sister, so many expectations on her and people being her friends because of Leah (Leah is still very much an amazing sister, loves her baby sister to bits!)

So when she's around ten ish, she makes the choice to not let anyone know Leah is her sister, goes to games but doesn't sit in the family section and sits with friends who she's never told about her family, maybe even uses her mum's maiden name rather than Williamson etc.

Leah is undoubtedly a bit upset about it because she doesn't want to make her little ones passion dampen just by being her (I hc that Leah would very much see R as her baby because that's what she called her when she was born or something) but her and their family all accept it and do what R wants and needs

Cut to R being brought into the senior time, smashing it in the big leagues and getting along well with all of the senior players who are looking at her like 'she seems familiar and I don't know why...' only to find out she's Leah's little sister when she's injured on the pitch or Leah gets injured and she gets all panicked and doesn't want to leave her side

Cue Beth, Katie, Kim etc. Who have all been there for years like 'Holy shit, you've grown up!!!!' Because they probably would've known her when she was younger since they've known Leah that long

Long winded but hopefully you'll like the idea 😂😂

the other williamson | leah williamson.

thank you for this request! :)

this is one of my favourite fics I’ve written!

You had always been proud to be Leah’s sister, how could you not be? She was England’s captain after all and an Arsenal star but sometimes being nine years younger than Leah came with its struggles. 

You were only seven when Leah first broke into the senior team and you were so proud of your sisters that for a while it’s all you talked about. Everyone at school knew about your cool big sister Leah and how she was playing for Arsenal. 

At that time, women’s football wasn’t massive so of course you got a bit of stick from a few boys in your class but it wasn’t anything you could handle. 

“Arsenal women?” One of them scoffed one day in the playground, “that isn’t a proper team!”

You looked the boy straight in the eye. “They are a proper team! My sister’s going to be the best player in the world, just you watch!”

The boy had rolled his eyes and laughed, but you didn’t care. You’d march off, determined to prove him wrong. Well, Leah would prove him wrong, and you’d be there cheering her on every step of the way.

For a while, being Leah’s sister was the coolest thing in the world. You loved going to games, sitting with your family, wearing a little Arsenal jersey with Williamson on the back. 

Leah always made time for you, even when her schedule got busy. She’d let you run around on the pitch after matches, ruffle your hair, and call you “my little bubba,” no matter how much you protested.

But as you got older, things changed.

By the time you were fifteen, Leah was a household name. Women’s football had grown massively, and she was basically the face of it after winning the euros. People started treating you differently, not because of who you were, but because of who your sister was.

At school, kids who’d never spoken to you before suddenly wanted to be your friend. “Can you get me an autograph from Leah?” they’d ask, or, “Do you think she’d come to my party?” Teachers started expecting more from you, too, as if being Leah Williamson’s sister meant you had to be perfect at everything.

At the academy, it was worse. You had been lucky enough to sign for the Arsenal academy when you were twelve but after the euros things changed. Every time you stepped onto the pitch, you could feel the weight of their eyes on you.

Coaches would compare you to Leah, even though you were nothing like her as a player. You didn’t even play in the same position, you were a striker not a defender. Teammates would make comments, sometimes kind, sometimes not.

“She’s only on the team because her sister’s Leah Williamson,” someone whispered once after you scored. “She’s not even good enough for the academy.”

It stung more than you cared to admit.

That was when you made your decision. You didn’t want to be known as Leah’s sister anymore. You wanted to be you. That night after training, you came home and broke down in tears to your mum. 

“Bubba, what’s wrong?” Amanda asked you as you stormed into the house, flinging your bag down onto the ground. 

You sat down with a huff as more tears started to escape, Jacob gave Amanda a look, “Been like this since I picked her, won’t say what’s wrong though.” Your brother sighed.

“I’m fine,” you muttered, wiping at your face angrily, though the tears kept falling.

Amanda crouched down in front of you, her voice soft. “You’re clearly not fine, Bubba. Come on, tell me what’s going on.”

You glanced up at her, hesitating. Part of you didn’t want to say it. You didn’t want to sound ungrateful for the opportunities you had or for Leah being your sister but the words tumbled out before you could stop them.

“I’m sick of it, Mum,” you said, your voice cracking. “Sick of being just Leah’s sister. Everyone at the academy thinks I’m only there because of Leah. They don’t even see me as my own person, just as ‘Leah’s little sister.’ I can’t do it anymore.”

Amanda’s face softened, and she sat beside you before pulling you into a hug. “Oh, Bubba. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.”

Jacob sat down next to you on the couch on the other side, frowning. “That’s not fair. You’re talented in your own right. Anyone who says otherwise is just jealous.”

“But I'm always being compared to Leah, J,” you said, though your voice wavered. “No one believes that I'm good enough. They just think I’m riding on Leah’s name.”

Amanda kissed your temple, “You are good enough. And I understand why this is so hard for you. But what do you want to do about it? How can we help?”

You hesitated, chewing your bottom lip. “I don’t want to be ‘Williamson’ anymore,” you finally said. “I want to use your maiden name, Mum. I want to be a Baker, not Leah’s sister.”

Amanda blinked, taken aback for a moment, but then she nodded slowly. “If that’s what you want, then we’ll support you. Right, Jacob?”

“Of course,” Jacob said, ruffling your hair. “You’re still you, no matter what name’s on the back of your shirt.”

A lump formed in your throat, but you nodded, feeling a small wave of relief.

“What about Leah?” Amanda asked gently. “Have you talked to her about this?”

You froze. You hadn’t thought about how Leah would feel. “I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. She’s always been so proud of me, but…”

“But you need to do this for yourself,” Amanda finished for you. “You know she’ll understand.”

You nodded.

Later that evening, when Leah got home from training, you sat down and told her everything. You expected her to be upset or worse, disappointed but instead, she pulled you into a tight hug.

“Bubba,” she murmured, her voice thick with emotion. “I had no idea you were feeling like this. I’m so sorry, I’ve made things harder for you.”

“You didn’t,” you said quickly. “It’s not your fault, Le. I’m so proud of you, but I just need to figure out who I am without being ‘your sister.’”

Leah nodded, her hands on your shoulders. “I get it. And I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. Whatever name you use, you’ll always be my little Bubba, okay?”

You laughed through your tears, hugging her tightly.

That night, you went to bed feeling lighter than you had in months. You were ready to step out of Leah’s shadow and into your own light.

Fast forward a few years, you were now eighteen and transitioning into the senior team. Leah was now twenty-seven and somehow everyone had managed to keep it a secret that you were Leah’s sister. 

Majority of the girls that you played with had either left the academy or completely stopped playing football. Your shirt name was now Baker and had been for two years now, your coaches were different too and everyone just thought that Leah was your family friend. 

“Excited for your first senior training, bubba?” Leah asked you one December morning as she drove you both to the training ground. 

You shrugged, a mixture of emotions, “Bit nervous…” you muttered, “Excited but nervous.”

Arsenal’s senior team had a new coach, Renee Slegers, and she had been to watch the u18s a few times. For some reason, she had seen something in you and wanted you to come train with the senior team and potentially play a few games. 

“You’ve got this, Bubba. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t good enough. Renee knows what she’s doing, and so do you.” Leah told you. 

You nodded, trying to let her words sink in. You knew Leah believed in you, she always had, but the pressure of stepping into the senior team felt overwhelming. It wasn’t just about proving yourself, it was about proving you belonged and you were separate from Leah.

When you arrived at the training ground, Leah walked in beside you, her confidence making her look so at ease. Meanwhile, your stomach churned as the nerves threatened to take over. You adjusted your backpack, trying to focus on your breathing.

“Relax, Bakes,” Leah said with a smirk, using the nickname some of your academy teammates had given you after you changed your last name. “They’re going to love you.”

As you entered the changing room, you were immediately greeted by familiar faces, some you hadn’t seen in years. Beth grinned as soon as she spotted you.

“No way! Little Bubba? Is that you?” Beth’s voice was teasing, her eyes wide in mock disbelief.

You groaned internally. So much for keeping the “Bubba” nickname under wraps. “It’s Baker now,” you corrected with a sheepish smile, but your voice was warm. You couldn’t help but laugh a little as Beth pulled you into a quick hug.

“Leah didn’t tell us you’d grown up so much!” Beth teased. “Last time I saw you, you were, what, fifteen?”

“Beth,” Leah interrupted, shooting her a warning look, though she was clearly trying not to laugh.

More players filtered in, all of them reacting with surprise when they realized who you were. Some of them hadn’t seen you since you were a kid, tagging along to games and family events. For others, it was the first time they’d met you. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Katie said, holding up her hands. “So you’re telling me Leah’s been hiding this one from us? You’re playing with us now?”

You felt your cheeks burn as all eyes turned to you, but Leah stepped in, her tone light and teasing. “She wanted to make it on her own. Didn’t want to ride my coattails.”

“Fair play,” Kim said with an approving nod. “Gotta respect that.”

Leah turned to you, her smile soft. “Alright, Bubba, I mean Baker, time to show them why you’re here.”

You gave her a small, grateful smile before heading out to the pitch. As you jogged onto the field with the team, the nervous energy in your chest began to settle. You reminded yourself why you were there. Not as Leah’s sister, but as you.

And as the session began, you could feel yourself falling into the rhythm of the game you loved, the sound of the ball connecting with your boot grounding you. The team was fast, skilled, and ruthless, but you held your own. A well-timed run, a sharp finish past the keeper and it wasn’t long before you felt like you belonged.

At the end of training, Renee pulled you aside, her expression calm but firm. “You did well today. Keep this up, and we’ll see about getting you some minutes in the next match.”

Your heart soared at her words, but you kept your face neutral, nodding. “Thank you, Coach.”

Leah was waiting for you by the car when you finally made it out of the locker room. She raised an eyebrow, clearly trying to gauge how you were feeling.

“Well?” she asked as you climbed in.

You smiled, the weight on your shoulders feeling just a little lighter. “I think I did okay.”

Leah grinned, her pride shining through. “I told you, Bubba. You’ve got this.”

The night of your debut arrived quicker than you expected. Arsenal was playing a league game at Meadow Park against Crystal Palace, and the squad list had you on the bench. You tried to focus during the pre-match warm-ups, but your nerves were all over the place. Leah, as always, noticed.

“Stop overthinking,” she whispered as the two of you jogged back to the dugout after the warm-up. “Just play your game. If you get on, don’t try to do too much. Be you.”

You nodded, though the butterflies in your stomach didn’t ease. The match started, and you watched intently from the bench, studying the pace of the game and trying to picture where you’d fit in.

By halftime, Arsenal was up 1–0, the goal coming from Leah. Renee made a couple of changes early in the second half, but your name wasn’t called. You were beginning to think your debut would have to wait until another day when, in the 70th minute Renee called you. 

“Baker, you’re on,” Renee said, her voice firm but encouraging. “Stay calm, yeah? Leah’s out there with you. We’re doing okay, 3-0, so just stay calm, yeah? Try your hardest.”

You nodded, barely able to believe this was actually happening. Leah was standing by the touchline, waiting for you, her hand resting casually on her hip. When you reached her, she nudged you with her elbow, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“Ready for this, Bubba?”

“Don’t call me that,” you hissed, but you couldn’t help the nervous laugh that escaped.

The referee blew the whistle, and you stepped onto the pitch, replacing Beth up top. Leah gave you a quick pat on the back as you ran to your position. “You’ve got this.”

The first few minutes were a blur. The pace of the game was faster than anything you’d experienced before, but you adjusted, remembering Leah’s advice: play your game.

Then, in the 80th minute, the ball came to you. Leah had intercepted a pass in and played a perfect through ball into your path. You took a touch, your heart pounding as you found yourself one-on-one with the keeper.

You steadied yourself, then slotted the ball into the bottom corner with your left foot. For a moment, everything went silent, and then the roar of the fans hit you all at once.

You’d scored on your debut.

Leah was the first to reach you, lifting you off your feet in a tight hug. “That’s my sister!” she shouted, her voice full of pride.

The rest of the team swarmed you, congratulating you with slaps on the back and ruffling your hair. The chant of your name began to ripple through the crowd, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you belonged, not as Leah’s sister, but as you.

When the final whistle blew, Arsenal had secured a 5–0 victory. Leah pulled you into another hug as you both walked off the pitch.

“Told you you’d smash it,” she said, her grin wide.

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop smiling. “Thanks, Le.”

That night, as you sat with Leah in the kitchen at home, replaying the match in your head, she looked at you and said softly, “You’re going to have a great career, Bubba. I’m proud of you, you know that?”

For the first time, you didn’t mind the nickname. “Thanks, Le. Means a lot.”

[allaboutynn]

THE SPARK BETWEEN US

💐 synopsis — it was good being the maknae of aespa, they always treated you like their younger sister, well Except one member who definitely thinks of you more than that.

⚠️ warnings: Urm idk why I wrote this in first persons POV but never trying that again :/, 5th member reader, avoiding

💬 Rin: first actual attempt at writing something that’s fic related, yay(?) came up to the decision of making this blog my writing fics blogs and created another for reading and interactions!

☀︎︎☁︎︎ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 ꆭ ᷎ ࣪ 🎀ᩖ ࣪ ۪ ̃ ✿

As I spent more time with the members of aespa, I couldn't help but feel a sense of belonging. They were all so kind and welcoming, always making sure I felt included and comfortable. Karina would often give me advice on fashion and beauty, while Giselle would share stories about her love of food and cooking. Ningning would tease me playfully, but always made sure I knew she was just joking.

But there was one member who treated me differently. Winter would often find excuses to sit next to me, or to touch my arm while we were talking. She would look at me with a gaze that was almost... intense. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I knew that Winter saw me in a different light.

At first, I tried to brush it off as mere friendliness. But as time went on, I began to realize that Winter's feelings for me went far beyond friendship. She would make subtle comments, or find ways to be close to me, even when it wasn't necessary.

I have to admit, it was a little intimidating at first. But as I got to know Winter better, I realized that she was genuinely kind and caring. She would do anything to protect me, and make sure I was happy.

And as I looked into her eyes, I couldn't help but wonder... did I feel the same way?

As I pondered my feelings, Winter's gaze seemed to hold mine for a bit longer than usual. I felt a flutter in my chest, and my heart skipped a beat. I quickly looked away, trying to brush off the sensation.

But Winter's eyes seemed to follow me, and I could sense her gaze on me even when I wasn't looking. It was as if she was trying to will me to look back at her, to acknowledge the unspoken tension between us.

I tried to focus on the conversation around me, but my mind kept wandering back to Winter. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if we were more than just friends.

As the evening drew to a close, Winter walked me home, her arm brushing against mine. The touch sent shivers down my spine, and I felt my heart racing in my chest.

As we stood outside my door, Winter turned to me and smiled. "Thanks for tonight," she said, her voice low and husky. "I had a really great time."

I smiled back, feeling a sense of nervousness. "I had a great time too," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.

Winter's eyes locked onto mine, and for a moment, I thought she was going to kiss me. But then she seemed to hesitate, and instead, she leaned in and whispered, "Goodnight."

As I watched her walk away, I couldn't help but feel a sense of disappointment. But at the same time, I knew that Winter's feelings for me were real, and that she was willing to take things slow.

I smiled to myself, feeling a sense of hope. Maybe, just maybe, Winter and I could explore something more than friendship. And as I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder what the future held for us.

The next day, I couldn't shake off the feeling that something had shifted between Winter and me. We had always been close, but the way she had looked at me the night before, the way she had whispered "goodnight" in my ear... it all felt so intimate, so personal.

As I went about my day, I found myself wondering what Winter was doing, whether she was thinking about me too. I felt a little silly, to be honest - I had never really considered Winter in a romantic way before, but now I couldn't seem to get her out of my head.

It wasn't until we met up for practice that afternoon that I saw Winter again. She smiled at me as I walked in, and I felt my heart skip a beat. We exchanged a few pleasantries, but I could sense a newfound tension between us, a sense of awareness that hadn't been there before.

As we began to practice, I found myself stealing glances at Winter, watching the way she moved with such precision and control. She was always so focused, so dedicated to her craft - and yet, when she caught my eye, I saw a flicker of something else there, something softer and more vulnerable.

I felt a pang of curiosity, and before I knew it, I was wondering what it would be like to kiss her, to hold her close and see where things might go. The thought sent a shiver down my spine, and I quickly looked away, trying to compose myself.

But as the practice drew to a close, Winter caught up to me, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice low and teasing. "You seem a little distracted."

I felt my face heat up, and I looked away, trying to play it cool. "I'm just tired, that's all," I said, trying to brush it off.

But Winter just laughed, her eyes glinting with mischief. "I don't think that's it," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I think you're just avoiding me."

I felt my heart skip a beat, and I turned to her, my eyes locking onto hers. "Why would I be avoiding you?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

Winter just smiled, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "I think you know why," she said, her voice low and husky. And with that, she turned and walked away, leaving me feeling stunned and confused.

As Winter walked away, I felt a pang of curiosity. What had she meant by that comment? Was she really suggesting that I was avoiding her, or was she just trying to get a rise out of me?

I decided to follow her, to see if I could get some answers. I caught up to her in the hallway, where she was waiting for the elevator.

"Hey," I said, trying to sound casual. "What did you mean back there?"

Winter turned to me, a sly smile spreading across her face. "I think you know exactly what I meant," she said, her eyes glinting with amusement.

I felt a flutter in my chest as I met her gaze. There was something in her eyes, something that made me feel like she could see right through me.

"I'm not sure I do," I said, trying to play it cool.

Winter laughed, a low, throaty sound. "Don't play dumb," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I know you feel it too."

I felt a shiver run down my spine as she stepped closer to me. "Feel what?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Winter's eyes locked onto mine, and for a moment, I thought she was going to kiss me. "You know exactly what I'm talking about," she said, her voice husky with emotion.

And with that, the elevator doors opened, and Winter stepped inside, leaving me standing there, feeling stunned and confused.

For the next few days, I made a conscious effort to avoid Winter. I would take the stairs instead of the elevator, just so I wouldn't run into her. I would sit in a different part of the cafeteria during meals, and I would arrive early to practice so I could warm up before she arrived.

It wasn't that I didn't want to see her - it was just that I needed some time to think. I needed to process my feelings, to figure out what was going on between us. And I couldn't do that with Winter around, being her usual charming and persuasive self.

But as the days went by, I started to feel a little guilty. I was avoiding Winter, and I knew she had noticed. I could sense her eyes on me during practice, could feel her watching me even when I wasn't looking.

And then, one day, Winter decided to confront me. We were at practice, and I was sitting on the sidelines, taking a break. Winter walked over to me, her eyes fixed intently on mine.

"Hey," she said, her voice low and serious. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I nodded, feeling a sense of trepidation. I knew what was coming.

Winter sat down beside me, her eyes never leaving mine. "I've noticed you've been avoiding me," she said, her voice gentle but firm. "And I want to know why."

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Winter raised an eyebrow. "Don't lie to me," she said, her voice firm but gentle. "I know you've been avoiding me. And I want to know why."

I sighed, feeling a sense of resignation. I knew I couldn't avoid this conversation forever.

"Fine," I said, looking down at my feet. "I've been avoiding you because...because I don't know how to feel around you. Okay?"

Winter was silent for a moment, and I could sense her processing my words.

"Because of what I said the other day?" she asked, her voice soft and gentle.

I nodded, feeling a sense of relief. "Yeah. Because of that."

Winter nodded, her eyes never leaving mine. "I see," she said, her voice thoughtful. "Well, can I ask you something?"

I nodded, feeling a sense of trepidation.

"Do you feel the same way?" Winter asked, her voice soft and gentle.

I felt my heart skip a beat as I met her gaze. Did I feel the same way? I wasn't sure. But as I looked into Winter's eyes, I knew that I couldn't deny the spark that had ignited between us.

I hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Winter's eyes seemed to bore into mine, as if searching for the truth. I felt a flutter in my chest, and my heart began to beat faster.

"I...I don't know," I stammered, trying to sound nonchalant despite the turmoil inside me.

Winter's expression didn't change, but I sensed a flicker of disappointment. "Okay," she said softly, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness. "I understand."

But I could tell she didn't understand. Not really. And I couldn't blame her. I was confused myself.

Winter stood up, her movements fluid and effortless. "I'll leave you alone for now," she said, her eyes still fixed on mine. "But can I ask you one more thing?"

I nodded, feeling a sense of trepidation.

"Will you at least think about it?" Winter asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "Think about how you feel, and what you want?"

I nodded again, feeling a sense of resolve. "I'll think about it," I promised, my voice firm.

Winter smiled softly, and for a moment, I thought I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes. "Good," she said, her voice gentle. "I'll be waiting."

And with that, she turned and walked away, leaving me feeling more confused and uncertain than ever. But also, somehow, more hopeful.

I watched Winter walk away, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. I was glad that the conversation was over, but at the same time, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had just made things more complicated.

As I sat there, trying to process my emotions, I couldn't help but think about Winter's words. "Will you at least think about it?" she had asked, her eyes pleading with me to consider my feelings.

And I had promised her that I would. But as I sat there, I realized that I had no idea where to start. I had never really thought about my feelings for Winter before. I had always just assumed that we were friends, and that was it.

But now, I wasn't so sure. Winter's confession had thrown everything off balance, and I was left feeling confused and uncertain.

I decided to take a walk, hoping that some fresh air would clear my head. As I strolled through the streets, I couldn't help but think about Winter. I thought about the way she smiled, the way she laughed, and the way she always knew how to make me feel better.

And as I walked, I started to realize that my feelings for Winter went far beyond friendship. I felt a flutter in my chest, and my heart began to beat faster. I couldn't believe it. I had feelings for Winter.

But what did it mean? And what was I supposed to do now? I felt like I was standing at a crossroads, unsure of which path to take. But as I looked up at the sky, I knew that I had to be honest with myself. I had to acknowledge my feelings, no matter how scary it seemed.

And with that, I made a decision. I would talk to Winter again, and I would tell her how I really felt. I was nervous, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

I took a deep breath and made my way to Winter's room, my heart racing with anticipation. I had been thinking about our previous conversation nonstop, and I knew I had to talk to her again.

As I knocked on the door, Winter answered with a curious expression. "Hey, what's up?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with interest.

I smiled, feeling a sense of nervous excitement. "I wanted to talk to you about what you said the other day," I began, my voice barely above a whisper.

Winter's expression softened, and she nodded encouragingly. "I've been thinking about it a lot too," she said, her voice gentle.

I took another deep breath, feeling my heart pound in my chest. "I have to admit, I was surprised at first," I said, my eyes locking onto Winter's. "But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I feel the same way."

Winter's face lit up with a radiant smile, and she took a step closer to me. "Really?" she asked, her voice trembling with excitement.

I nodded, feeling my heart soar. "Really," I replied, my voice firm.

Winter's eyes sparkled with joy, and she reached out to take my hand. "I'm so glad," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

As our hands touched, I felt a jolt of electricity run through my body. It was like the whole world had come alive, and everything felt new and exciting. I smiled up at Winter, feeling my heart full of joy and anticipation.

As Winter's eyes sparkled with joy, I felt my heart skip a beat. We stood there for a moment, hands touching, and I knew that everything was going to be okay.

Winter smiled and leaned in close. "I'm so glad you feel the same way," she whispered, her breath tickling my ear.

I nodded, my heart racing with excitement. "Me too," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.

As we stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, I knew that this was just the beginning of our journey together. And I couldn't wait to see what the future held for us.

✰𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐀

[felassan]

Thread: Sylvia Feketekuty on the influences of Emmrich and the Mourn Watch

The rest of this post is under a cut due to length and possible spoilers.

Sylvia Feketekuty: "I think I've gotten to most people’s questions, and I promised I'd talk about influences on Emmrich and the Mourn Watch before wrapping this up. So here we go! It took me while to figure out Emmrich's character voice. I'm happy with where I landed, but he was a tough one. A few books helped me out. MR James' Collected Ghost Stories (1890-1930) My favourite ghost stories of all time. James excels at building dread, at writing people finding strange things in books, or around the corner, or in the old lane at night."

"He was also an antiquarian and a scholar at Cambridge. I wanted Emmrich and the Watchers to feel formal, but not like they were from another epoch. James’ language, polished by a rich academic career, was an excellent benchmark for 'older, but not ancient'. E.g.: if using contractions was appropriate for James' time, it was appropriate for Emmrich. It freed me up, mentally speaking, to deploy them whenever they improved cadence or flow. Thomas Ligotti's Songs of a Dead Dreamer Fellow Ligotti fans may already be thinking Emmrich doesn't really share the philosophy underpinning Ligotti's work, and they’re right. However!"

"Songs of a Dead Dreamer is filled with fantastical imagery that’s a bit lusher than that found in Ligotti's later works. It was really good at bringing to mind the kind of moody, expansive dreamscapes I think our necromancer mentally occupies. It’s from a different book (Noctuary), but Ligotti’s “The Spectral Estate” also merits a mention. If you plunked it down in front of Emmrich to read, he’d know exactly what it was on about. The Romantic poets (or any poetry on similar themes: overpowering swells of emotion, the grandeur and awe of nature, love and loss and grief.) Palgrave's Golden Treasury was usually in reach."

"If I was in a jam, or psyching myself up for a scene, sometimes I’d read a few poems to get into the proper head space. Or just for the pleasure of it. Poems are great! Please take a link to Shelley's "A Dream of the Unknown", one of my favourites. [link] I also read a few books by morticians and funerary directors. A friend lent me Smoke Gets in your Eyes and From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty (probably the most famous mortician on the internet?) I also checked out Nine Years Under: Coming of Age in an Inner-city Funeral Home by Sheri Booker."

"These books were full of lessons about how people react to death, how different cultures treat it, how anger and grieving express differently but come from the same wellspring. Very humane looks at how we deal with loss and other people. Moving on to non-books: My First Cadaver, a podcast of stories from medical students and medical professionals."

"I listened to a few episodes My First Cadaver, and there were some incredible tales in there. Gross (I could never be a doctor) but incredible. And I was struck by was how much students working on donated cadavers got attached to them. I can’t remember if it was in MFC or not, but there was one story about a medical student introducing his date to the cadaver he was working on like she was a beloved aunt. It was very sweet! Peter Cushing in Horror of Dracula (1958) and The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) These films are filled with handsome costumes, ominous sets, and the oversized passions I associate with gothic melodrama. Cushing's perfect in them."

"His portrayals of Van Helsing and Baron Frankenstein are brisk, determined, obsessive, and brimming with energy; they’re scholars who are experts in their field, yet still men of action. They felt like natural touchstones for a professor suddenly called to grand adventure. I also ended up reading Cushing's memoirs. In a bit of strange synchronicity, there were similarities between his life and traits I'd already decided to give Emmrich. Cushing came from a working-class family, had an intense phobia (his was of the dark), was vegetarian, and so on. I'd had no idea."

"(Humans tend to pattern-match, but it was a little eerie.) A side note: I've seen people speculate Emmrich was based off of Vincent Price. There’s a bit of the good Mr. Price in there, but Cushing got to play more heroic roles than he did. He felt more right to me. A second side note: did you know Vincent Price was a gourmand who loved to entertain? He and his wife Mary put out a beautiful cooking book, A Treasury of Great Recipes, filled with warm and charming commentary. If you're interested in that kind thing, highly recommended!"

"One influence when I was pitching the Memorial Gardens to the rest of the team was Swan Point cemetery in Rhode Island. It's where Lovecraft was buried, and like many a Weird Tales nerd before me, I was curious and wanted to see it."

"I wasn't prepared for was how lush the plants and flowers were, and how beautifully landscaped everything there is. Swan Point is a historical burial place, and also a carefully tended garden and arboretum. It stunned me. I'd never been in a cemetery like it. Emmrich complains about Hezenkoss making him play complicated wargames when they were students, and that one in particular had three separate rulebooks."

"I've seen people guess whether I was referencing D&D or Warhammer 40K. D&D was formative, and I know a frankly embarrassing amount about WH40K at this point (No regrets. Necrons and Admech 4-ever.*) But the origin is even sillier. *Why yes, Mechanicus 2 IS my most anticipated upcoming game. I used to own the first edition of a board game called Mansions of Madness, and was supposed to learn the rules so I could lead my friends through it. But come the day, I’d procrastinated, and was running short on time."

"Fantasy Flight's previous game in the same vein was Arkham Horror, and AH is not a simple game. But I remember being hopeful, as I peeled the shrinkwrap off, that maybe MoM would be easier to learn than AH. Have streamlined rules, or fewer things to remember. Then the top popped off, and three separate rulebooks fell out and slithered to the floor. (The DAV game’s not meant to be MoM, but the absurdity of that moment stuck with me.) (It's not the game's fault, by any means, that I was unprepared, and the session went as well as it could have with me flipping through the books going "Okay wait...hold on...I think that was here...no, wait.") The Nevarran hazelnut torte recipe is actually a family recipe from my grandmother, on my father's side. I’m beyond delighted people have actually made it. (Our recipe uses metric measurements, but the DA style guide uses imperial, so I was worried about the conversion. Looks like it went okay.)"

"On my mother's side of the family: my grandmother cooked and cleaned for a living, and my grandfather was a butcher. He passed away before I was born, and my grandmother when I was very young. So I gave Emmrich’s parents those professions as a little nod to the grandmother I only knew very little, and the grandfather I never met at all. I would’ve liked time with them both. And to end on a lighter note, "Ever thought of becoming a hat person?" is an extremely oblique reference to a line spoken to one of gaming's greatest characters: Murray, the demon skull from Curse of Monkey Island. (Curse is the first Monkey Island game I ever played, and therefore my favourite.)"

"Small bonus: here’s the music I listened to most while working on Emmrich and the Watchers. Some of it probably only makes sense to me, some of it seems thematically obvious. (I don’t have Spotify so best I can do is an itunes screenshot.)"

"Not on the screenshot because I changed PCs halfway through, but I also listened to a lot of music from Cryo Chamber, a great dark ambient label. [link] And their sister label, Cryo Crypt, which does "Dark Fantasy Dungeon Synth." [link] And also Allicorn IS on the screenshot but I think I've listened to his stuff on every game I've worked on by now. [link]"

[thread source link]

---

Bonus: follow-up comments and exchanges -

User: "I KNEW the torte was somebody’s family recipe!!" // Sylvia: "My only regret is that the icing was originally a stove-boiled icing made with eggs and chocolate and butter emulsified together. I couldn't get it working, however, these past few years. I think we lost some crucial part of the steps when trying to write out a clean copy. So I went with ganache for the game, because I didn't want to print something that didn't work, and I've used ganache myself. It's good! But I'm going to try to replicate the original again one day." [source, two] // User: "I noticed that sometimes, ingredients doesn't react the way they used to and part of that is probably due to some "industrial" changes in the recipe for ingredients like chocolate or butter to cut the cost of making them, imho. It's sad because it means we lost a very specific way to do things..." // Sylvia: "Yeah, that was the first thing a friend who bakes a lot suggested. I wonder if I was a victim of "Buttergate" when Canadian cows were being fed so much palm oil butter was harder to spread as a result. After a long search, I found a local place that makes butter that actually tastes good, which is an incredibly sad sentence to have to type out." [source, two]

Sylvia, re: Vincent Price being a gourmand and his cooking book: "It's extremely cool. My library had a copy and I remember it being pretty big, too." [source]

User: "I was following this thread and I'm delighted about all of these facts and information. Thank you for sharing!" // Sylvia: "Aw thank you! And thanks for reading, it was nice to unpack all the stuff kicking around my mental attic." [source]

User, re: MFC: "Sorry to post again but this one got me- my mom is a doc, and i remember her telling me stories of the cadaver she worked on (evidence of different surgeries she had, the cancer she had, etc), and mom always ended her stories saying how thankful she was to her. It really does stick around." // Sylvia: "No need to apologize, I liked hearing about your mom's reaction! It's exactly what I kept hearing and reading about, a sense of reverence for the gift." [source]

Sylvia: ""The irony that I had to convert the measurements back to metric" Haha. I tried to get as close as I could. Here's the written down metric version of the cake batter. It's an older recipe so I had to try to guess what a "knife tip" ended up as." [source]

A user on the torte being a family recipe: "Oh my gosh 🥹 that makes it all even lovelier!" // Sylvia: "Thanks! I was really excited to share the family recipe, it's a bit of work but it's one of my favorites." [source]

A user under the post about MR James' Collected Ghost Stories: "So you're probably the one behind the mysterious bronze whistle, I take it?" // Sylvia: "Haha, guilty. Cameron Harris, our editor, helped me figure out a phonetic guide to the latin. (If it fails anywhere it's very likely my fault.)" [source]

User: "As an avid Emmrich lover & someone trying to write some Emmrich POVs in my Emrook fanfictions, I can not thank you ENOUGH for this wealth of info / music inspo to go off of" // Sylvia: "Thank you! (Seriously though some of those songs probably only make sense to me, they're not all thematically on point, but some are. Hope you enjoy!)" [source]

User: "As another "needs a million hours of droning ambient music to write" writer I appreciate these greatly" // Sylvia: "We both have good taste! 🎶" [source]

User: "Thank you for writing out this list!! Peter Cushing makes so much sense as an influence. I love the variety of media here, it gives me so much new stuff to check out!" // Sylvia: "Thank you for reading! If you do check out some of this stuff, hope you enjoy!" [source]

Sylvia: "thanks so much, and for reading the thread! It was fun to write." [source]

User: "Thank you for sharing these books!I was looking for a good ghost book" // Sylvia: "Thanks! Hope you enjoy James. "Oh, Whistle, and I'll Come to You, My Lad" was the first story of his I read and I'll never forget that experience." [source] // Sylvia: "I just love the mood James could create, so much." [source]

User: "ELECTRIC SIX MENTION" // Sylvia: "My greatest favorites, now and forever." [source]

Sylvia: "Please archive away, I am intent on deleting the account eventually but it'd be nice to know people could look this stuff up later if they're curious. (Future generations need to know which Atrium Carceri tracks I listened to!)" [source]

User: "Amongst many things, not the least of which is the gratitude and delight of having your fantastic insight into the writing process of Emmrich, my grandmother’s hazelnut torte is fantastically close to the Nevarran version which was a delightful discovery." // Sylvia: "Ah now nice. I assume she was also central/eastern European then? I suspect it was a popular recipe at a certain time." [source]

User: "As an ex-mortician turned game writer, this was a FASCINATING read!" // Sylvia: "Haha, I definitely took inspiration from morticians! (Thank you for checking it out, that thread got long)" [source]

User: "ATRIUM CARCERI - Such a perfect band for the Mourn Watch!" // Sylvia: "I stumbled on Atrium Carceri when I was a student, and there's happily so much dark ambient available now, but Simon Heath's particular vibe can't be beat." [source]

User: "Rockefeller Street is just like that, man. It's sticky." // Sylvia: "Yes! It's so good, it just hits a certain mood dead center." [source]

Sylvia: "Ginkys of BlueSky has created a Spotify list of the music I listened to when writing Emmrich and the Watchers! Almost everything's on there. Thank you Ginkys. (FYI: Not everything I listened to matches the MW vibe, sometimes it was just a song that got stuck in my head for a few weeks.) - [link]" [source]

Sylvia, about the torte recipe: "If it's useful, here's the full thing in metric. WARNING: Last two times I tried this cooked icing, it failed. I'm not sure whether I miscopy a crucial step, or if changes to local butter were the culprit. Either way, proceed with caution. A ganache is way safer, and very similar." [source]

[thread source link]

[un-fwuit-un-fwog]

Hello, good morning/afternoon/evening/night. I'm the anon that requested for the platonic!dad Lilia vanrouge headcanon. I've finished reading it and I would love to request for the biological one! The adopted headcanon was amazing. And I also apologize for for not putting in my request with more thought 😅.

Thanks for the ask! I can totally do that! And don't worry about it, I was hoping to get to write both anyway <3

(I don't know if I'm thinking too far into it, but I wasn't sure if you wanted pre NRC or present, so I'm going with the same as last time)

!Platonic!Dad! Lilia Vanrouge x Biological Daughter

(Kinda a second part to This in a way)

However it came to be; a one night stand, a past lover, or some freak magic accident, you were Lilia's one and only blood relative left. His darling daughter.

Don't get me wrong, Lilia loved Silver and Malleus more than anything, but it felt different looking at you and being able to sense his fae blood running through your veins.

When you were left to the single father's care it was after he had already dealt with a newborn dragon. He believe that as you were his own flesh and blood you'd surely be easier to care for, but oh how wrong he was.

If anything, you were MORE difficult to deal with because you were his own flesh and blood.

Lilia finally got a taste of his own medicine when you started imitating his pranks (how did you even get in such a high cabinet).

At least he understands your magic and can help you figure out how to control it.

He treats you virtually the same as if you were his adopted child, just with the fact that you have his magic in mind- . . .he looked away for one second, where'd you go?

One time, Lilia left you and Silver with a pre-teen Malleus for him babysit as he had something to attend to. Silver spent the whole time sleeping whilst you spent the whole time making malleus play games with you (he didn't mind, he was just happy to have a friend). Lillia came back to see you and Malleus reenacting the war with wooden animals Baur had carved for you (maybe he told you too many stories of his glory days).

Lilia still loves doing your hair- what's that? You want to do his hair?

The other generals keep their mouths shut, but their eyes are glued to the great Lilia Vanrouge and his messy, lopsided pigtails with bright pink and blue bows on each for the entire briefing.

You escaped the cottage once when he looked away to try and get Silver to eat his food, and he had no clue where you were for almost a day. He was freaking out and about to take his magearm and go on an all-out rampage when he got a letter from the queen saying you had 'made a delightfully unexpected visit to the castle for a playdate with Malleus.'

Lilia rushed over to the castle immediately, ready to scold you, but when he got there he couldn't bring himself to. Instead, he fell to his knees crying as he watched you and Malleus sleep softly: cuddled up to each other. The queen found him in this state and simply patted him on the back before recounting how he and her daughter had once pulled a very similar stunt back in their youth. (he has her recount any and all stories of him causing trouble as a child in order to hopefully have a leg up on any stunts you pull in the future)

Right when he thinks he knows how to handle anything you throw at him, you come home with an owl bear cub in toe asking tow. You recount the story of how you found it next to its unmoving mother, and he has no choice but to let you keep it.

When you tell him you want to name the owl bear 'Bear' he tries to argue with you that it's not a very good name, but you win. Bear it is.

Anytime you and Silver go out in the woods to play he sends Bear with you just in case.

Baur gets quite the shock when he comes to pick up his grandson from the cottage only to find him riding on the back of an owl bear as it chases you and silver (you were just playing tag).

He turns to the cottage to see what Lilia was planning to do about this only to see him casually. . .barbequing (if you can even call it that) in the garden and watching you all play. Baur ends up staying longer than expected, mostly to salvage whatever slop Lilia was making for his poor kids, but also to hear Lilia's explanation as to WHY IN THE GREAT SEVENS' NAMES THERE'S AN OWL BEAR PLAYING WITH THE KIDS.

The time finally comes for Lilia to head off to NRC with Malleus, Silver, and Sebek, but this time let's say (for the sake of being different that the other fic) that you somehow end up there as well. Lilia would have liked you to be in Diasomnia with him, but you instead end up going to Ramshackle with the prefect. This is an all-boys school after all, so the best place for you to be on campus is probably in the dorm with the only other female student. (That and Bear came with you and Ramshackle already has Grim so. . .)

There's no telling what trouble you'll get to in your time staying at NRC, but rest assured that Lilia will be there to help you out (whether that means getting you out of trouble or helping you cause more).

Blog Navigation Page

Twisted Wonderland Masterlist

Request Information

[tsumuus]

Ahhh hooray and congrats on the 1k!! Your valentine's event is so so cute, I love all the ideas! Could I please request a box of chocolates for ushijima? ❤

Valentine’s Day had always been one of those days you admired from afar- watching classmates exchange gifts, witnessing the blush of first confessions, and relishing in the general warmth that came with the occasion. This year, you had decided to contribute in your own way, spending the night before carefully crafting homemade chocolates for your entire class. Each small bag was tied with a delicate ribbon, each filled with sweets you had put time and effort into making.

You arrived at school with a tote bag full of the individually wrapped treats, excited to hand them out during the break period. As planned, you walked around the classroom, placing them gently onto each desk while greeting your classmates. Laughter and delighted murmurs filled the room as your friends and peers discovered their treats, thanking you with smiles and teasing remarks about how dedicated you were.

Among the many little packets, there was one that differed from the rest. It held the same chocolates, but nestled inside was a handwritten note- a playful confession meant for your best friend, meant to be nothing more than a joke. Something silly, something lighthearted. A harmless Valentine’s prank. You had intended to hand it to her personally, grinning as she opened it. But in the midst of distributing your gifts, you must have mixed up the bags.

And so, completely unaware of the mistake, you spent the rest of the day in blissful ignorance.

It wasn’t until the final bell rang that the atmosphere shifted. Most students had already left, filing out into the hallways to continue their Valentine’s Day plans. You remained at your desk, gathering your belongings when a shadow loomed over you.

Wakatoshi Ushijima stood before you, his towering presence as imposing as ever. His expression was unreadable, but there was a certain softness in his gaze that made your stomach twist in nervous anticipation. You barely spoke outside of school-related discussions; you were acquaintances at best. He was admired by many, respected for both his talent and sheer presence.

“Thank you for the chocolates,” he said, his voice steady and deep.

You smiled, pleased that he had enjoyed them. “Oh! Of course, Ushijima. I’m glad you liked them.”

For a brief moment, you wondered why he had sought you out just to say that. But before you could think too much about it, he continued.

“I feel the same way,” he stated matter-of-factly. “I would like to go out with you sometime.”

Your mind short-circuited.

“…Huh?”

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked down at his hand. There, between his fingers, was a very familiar piece of paper- the confession letter. Your confession letter. Your joke confession letter.

Your heart dropped to your stomach, and panic surged through you like wildfire.

“Oh my god,” you breathed out, hands flying up to your face. “Oh my god, oh my god-”

Ushijima’s brows furrowed slightly. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes!” you exclaimed, then immediately regretted it when you saw his expression falter just the slightest bit. “I mean- no! I mean- Ushijima, I think there’s been a mistake.”

He glanced down at the note. “The confession was not from you?”

“Well- no, it was from me,” you admitted, rubbing your temples, trying to piece your thoughts together. “But it wasn’t- it wasn’t meant for you. I mean, not that I wouldn’t-” You groaned, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. “It was a joke. I wrote it as a joke for my best friend, but you must have gotten the wrong bag.”

Silence stretched between you two as Ushijima processed your words. You half-expected him to retract his statement, to walk away and pretend the whole thing never happened. But he didn’t.

Instead, he nodded once, a firm sort of conviction in his movement. “Regardless, I meant what I said.”

You blinked. “…What?”

“I have liked you for some time now,” he stated bluntly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “I just never found the right moment to tell you. This seemed like an opportunity.”

You stared at him, feeling as though the ground had shifted beneath you. “You… have?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

Your pulse thundered in your ears. The idea that Ushijima Wakatoshi- stoic, composed, admired- had been harboring feelings for you all this time was nothing short of surreal. And yet, looking at him now, seeing the honesty in his expression, you realized that he was serious.

It wasn’t a joke to him. It had never been.

A part of you wanted to scream into the void. Another part of you, the part that had always admired him from a distance, felt an undeniable warmth spread through your chest.

You exhaled, trying to steady yourself. “I- um. I don’t really know what to say.”

“Then take your time,” he replied, his voice gentle in a way you hadn’t expected. “I will wait.”

You swallowed thickly, staring at him, at the quiet patience in his eyes. The reality of the situation was beginning to settle, and for the first time since the conversation started, you felt yourself relax.

“…Okay.” You met his gaze with a small, genuine smile. “Then… maybe we can start with getting to know each other better?”

He nodded, a subtle curve to his lips. “I would like that.”

As you gathered your things, preparing to walk out with him, you realized something strange about fate- that even with all your careful planning, life had a way of leading you to unexpected places. Perhaps, just this once, a mistake had led you exactly where you needed to be.

valentines event | masterlists

a/n ty for the request :) this is the first fic ive ever written for ushijima🙃 hope you liked it

[newtonsheffield]

You've been kind enough to give a lot of Kate's coworkers' POV on the new addition to Kate and Neddy's family. What about Anthony's employees? What about Debbie? How is she adjusting to the changes she sees in her boss?

No but imagine being Debbie and watching this all unfold. One day out of the blue a gorgeous woman shows up and asks to see your boss. You tell her very politely that you can’t just allow anyone in to see the Viscount but the man himself appears and he knows this woman. Sometime later they emerge from the office and go to lunch. Your boss seems shaken when he calls and says he won’t be coming back to the office but you think “score, early start to the weekend.”

A week later you’re called into his office, and the man is placing what appears to be a drawing from a very young child in a frame.

“I’m just going to skip right to the point here, Debbie. Last week a woman came to see me-“

“Kate Sharma.” You finish for him. “Gorgeous, dark curly hair, I’d put her at about 5ft 9?”

He blinked, “You’re incredibly observant. Yes, that’s the one.” He sighed. “Well Kate and I are former…?”

“Please spare us both from using the word lovers.”

“I won’t say it then.” He said a little gratefully. “I’m telling you this because it’s very likely she’ll be around more. Kate and I have a son together.”

This doesn’t really surprise you. There are very few things that usually happen when a beautiful woman shows up out of nowhere. Privately you think he should be thankful it’s a kid and not syphilis. And syphilis doesn’t usually do drawings for you.

“Congratulations.” You genuinely mean it as he gets out his phone. A proud smile on his face.

“This is my boy, this is Neddy.”

He’s a cute little thing, Anthony’s eyes and ears and nose with his mother’s shock of curly hair as he grins at the camera with a tiny gap between his front teeth.

“Oh, he’s adorable. What a sweetheart.”

“He’s great.” Anthony says softly, smiling at the photo. “Anyway, he and his Mum will probably be around a lot from now on.”

“Family rules for him and his Mum when they call?”

“Absolutely. And ah her mum and sister as well. And he has a Nanny, I’ll get their names for you.”

“I’m happy for you. This is good for you.”

You’ve worked with him a long time, and his father for a few months before that. You’ve seen how lonely he became the last few years and he’s good to work for. He always has been. Some of your friends who work for politicians and minor aristocracy are treated very differently than you are but Anthony’s always been kind and generous. You thought he’d made a mistake with how many zeroes he’d put through on your Christmas bonus.

“Should I order some more?”

Anthony blinked. “More?”

“Frames? For Neddy’s pictures? And I’ll organise someone to come in and hang them? You want them to go on the wall right?”

The smile that crosses his face is sweet. “Yeah, yes. If they could go on the wall that’d be great.”

“Not a problem.”

He’s different, after that. You can see the change in him, when he walks out of his office whistling.

“Why don’t you take off early, Debbie? I’m going to swimming!”

He closes the office for three days so he can away for his son’s birthday and you get paid, none of your leave used up.

He stops you in the kitchen and shows you pictures of him and his son and what’s clearly a relationship between him and Kate who drops by from time to time herself. The way he talks about them makes your chest ache a little, honestly. But if it happened for him it’ll happen for you too. He’s honestly made you believe that.

[energ00n]

Love your art! They all look so beautiful in your style!

This is a bit of a different take but honestly when you introduced Jazz I never thought of him as a romantic rival to D? Maybe it's that I rarely read J/OP, but to me he still feels like Orion's best friend. I would say //only// his best friend, but I think Jazz takes this very seriously: he platonically loves Orion and as the less naive/more street savvy of the two of them he thinks it's his job to make sure Orion doesn't get hurt. I can also see him being very possessive of his place as Orion's best friend.

He may have also heard about D from Orion before, maybe even heard about that "insignificant" comment, and even if he didn't, I can see him making Orion spill the beans very easily. He probably also quickly realized D's feelings, and Orion's, too, and in that his interaction with D (the comic where they talk about the garments) feels more like Jazz going "Orion is my friend, and very dear to me, so that is //my// reason to let him touch my visor/touch his garment. If you don't want me to use my connection to Orion to separate you two you better mech up and treat him better and admit to your feelings towards him, because otherwise you don't deserve him."

That also works very well with the two images of how Jazz and D treat Orion's garment: D holds it like something he wants but (feels like he) can't have. He has it wrapped around himself like he thinks he has to hold onto it when others rip it away, but it also makes him totally tangled up in it - a good metaphor for his feelings for Orion. Jazz on the other side is very sure in his place as Orion's best friend, and unlike D, he //trusts// Orion (the garment is around his throat) and Orion's feelings (the garment hangs loose, and he doesn't try to hold onto it because he knows it's not necessary).

It's your AU, so you can obviously take it in whichever direction you want to, but I thought you might be interested in my take on it.

I always enjoy knowing that my work can be interpreted in more ways than one (unless it’s just something blatant wrong that hurts character’ story) so yours aren’t any less delightful! I don’t read JOP either (there’s almost nothing to read) and it is true Jazz has never done anything to explicitly label his gestures as romantic toward Orion, characters’ vagueness is something I take pride in at times. It was interesting hearing a different take on Jazz here

[hellishtrickster]

Orianna sighed at Arden's question, tapping her own three-quarters empty tankard. That was a hell of a set of questions, albeit fair ones.

How was she feeling? Well...

"I can't speak for Ben, but I'm feeling quite overwhelmed at the moment. It's a lot to take in, and not a change I expected in my life. Although, I suppose there are extremely few people who expect to become a were-creature. As for what's next..."

She takes a sip of her ale, calm enough now to actually savour the drink.

"Well...I sent a letter forward to Rangrim, explaining what happened. I've asked him to make me some Damascus steel chains for a werewolf form."

Orianna hears a gasp from Delilah at that, and she turns to look at her friend.

"What? I made friends with a Tiefling. I know how people treat your kind, and I decided I didn't want to be ignorant and just listen to people talk disgusting nonsense without piping up. I know...Demascus steel can imprison Infernal folks...and sometimes it hurts," said Delilah.

Orianna shrugs and nods at Delilah's explanation.

"Thank you for educating yourself...I appreciate it. And yeah, Demascus steel can hurt us but...I'd prefer that I get hurt when I transform than risk hurting others. I've never heard of a Tiefling transforming into a werewolf before, and so we don't know what to expect. If there's anything that would be different from a human, elf, dwarf or halfling."

She refuses to bring up her own more unique heritage. That was something she kept largely private. But right now it felt like an anomaly that even she was scared of. Orianna had no idea how it would affect her now.

The only thing she felt certain of, even so early in her transition was that something was developing within her. A change not only to her body, but to her very nature was occurring. As the curse took hold, something was infusing itself into her very essence.

Orianna knew Ben talked about their wolf as being both a different entity, and an intrinsic part of themself. If that was the case, she'd have to welcome her own wolf and make peace with it. Even if it felt like an invader of her very being at this moment in time. Well, she had a month to adjust and try to make peace with it.

Ben gave Arden a grateful nod as he placed the ale in front of them, mirroring Orianna in taking a large swig of their drink. Their eyes shimmered yellow briefly and they smiled as the liquid burned a little stronger than usual down their throat, realising the barkeep had put a shot of werewolf whiskey in it. That was a pleasant surprise and definitely helped take the edge off the strain of the past few days.

The werewolf grimaced as Orianna told the pair of their escapades on the previous full moon night, tips of their ears folding slightly with guilt and sadness. They were quick to chug some more of their whiskey laced ale to get the memory of their sister’s blood out of their mouth. Yet another horrid thing to add to their ever-growing list of nightmare fuel.

They felt sad for Delilah as she gasped. It wasn’t easy to hear your employer was related to a child enslaver, let alone that they had tried to kill some good acquaintances of yours. At Orianna’s nudge they gave a soft hum in their throat only she would hear, their tail brushing across her lower back – letting her know they understood and offering her comfort.

“None of them showed any remorse for their decision, sticking by their despicable brother slash ex-employer to the end.” Not entirely true perhaps as the flash image of the snivelling crying one they had taken care of entered their mind, guilt flaring briefly in their gut. But they shoved it away as quickly as it came. He likely only felt regret because he had seen his brother die and knew he was next. Grey eyes flicked to Delilah. “We took care of everything. By all accounts it will seem like they left town. If anyone asks you can just say you went on lunch and when you came back everything was locked up without explanation. We can cover any lost wages you may need and more until you start with Arden or someone else. Probably not best to move on to a new job right away, less suspicious.”

“Thank you, Ben,” the blonde said with a smile, reaching to take and squeeze their hand before she did the same for Orianna with the other, “Both of you, thank you.”

“Of course,” the wolf-kin said, offering her a smile back.

Arden cleared his throat softly, tapping at his half-empty glass nervously.

“How are you both feeling? And perhaps more importantly, what are you going to do?”

[littlelqtte]

@lacyscabinet made me post this so its her fault if im wrong

CAITLYN KIRAMMAN IS AUTISTIC AND HERES WHY (coming from a fellow autistic infj)

first of all baby caitlyn like her only friend at the age of 14/15 is jayce whos like at least 7 years older like for me ie its easier to find an older friend than one my age, because of the emotional maturity and/or interests so theres that also while talking with jayce she mentioned that “shes a misfit too” which is not a phrase you usually hear from a girl who seemigly doesnt stick out in a group of other girls her age and yet caitlyn feels different it could be because position her family takes in piltover and/or because of the usual feeling autistics experience, seeing they differ from others in how they act, feel and see stuff

second

s2 e3, her huge argument with vi in my humble opinion it felt pretty much like a meltdown honestly the way she acted right before the argument was impulsive and she showed a lot of black and white thinking which im not gonna elaborate on because everyone knows what im talking about but lets focus the way she treats vi during the argument shes obviously in pain, grieving and angry but shes not able to process the feelings normally, either because shes used to repressing, or because shes never delt with such strong emotions before which is also likely, or well once again neurodivergence. so while not being able to process it, she treats vi agressively, which is common in meltdowns. shes not nescessarily angry at her, no she’s just taking it out on her, which is sad and not right, but painfully common during meltdowns/breakdowns.

i have so much more of it in my notes app but i dont want to embarrass myself further 😭😭 if you want it you can dm me or something

[jonquilyst]

Day 3 - Socialization Day

Morning, kids! With our first challenge behind us and teams now formed, we have another socialization day to give the opportunity for the teams to get to know each other! Brendan (SU) and Touma (OD) didn't get the memo though, because they ended up having having a nice chat!

After breakfast, the contestants held another dance party in first class! But Josue (SU) had a little too much to eat this morning, so he ended up having to sit out on the festivities this time.

Team Success took great measures to bond with each other today and had a long discussion in the mess hall, with Espresso (SU) eventually joining them (though Touma still has not gotten the team-bonding memo and hung out with the Successors instead).

While Touma was busy chatting up with Team Success, his own team was playing games together in first class. Nite (OD) and Raylan (OD) were fighting it out in Party Frenzy, while Tomiko (OD) decided to play by herself on the PC.

Espresso later joined them after joining her teammates' discussion, where Maeve (SU) attempted to bond with her by showing a funny video. However, given Espresso's sad moodlet about Maeve, I believe the smile she was wearing here might have been fake... 😬

Team Success was not the only one to make strides among themselves today. Team Integrity, Elio (IN) in particular, also took measures to bond with each other. Elio had a nice convo with Avery (IN) and Matteo (IN) showed Elio a funny video at dinnertime. Nice!

Overall, this team-bonding socialization day was a success. The teams are closer amongst one another than they were yesterday! And that'll benefit them, because tomorrow is when the competition truly begins... Our first battle of the teams, and our first elimination, awaits tomorrow at our next destination. Stay tuned... 🤭

Today's Confessional: Marilyn Moore

"Okay, not gonna lie; I'm nervous for tomorrow's challenge. When I signed up for Total Drama Sims, I thought the "drama" part was acting-related, not social and falling-on-your-face drama, if you know what I mean. The first challenge was okay, I mean- all we had to do was run through a maze, but I have a feeling that was, like, the easy challenge, y'know?"

"But the idea of making new friends and winning the grand prize sounds totally awesome! Like- the social part can't be different than school... Since I'm here and can't exactly leave, I might as well treat this like it's school, right? I have a lot of friends in school, so who's to say the people here won't like me too? But... ugh! I just don't want my clothes or my hair to get ruined in the challenges!"

@sanitysims @nakasumi-sims @hellogreta @simstagramsomeone @bloomingkyras

@paracosmic-sims @simsinfinitylt @changingplumbob @aliengirl @riverofjazzsims

@kissalopa @kari-sims @aniraklova @matchalovertrait

[katyspersonal]

Er fandom is soo funny sometimes like in x theyre crying how shipping Rellana/Rennala with Messmer/Radagon is misogyny to reduce strong female characters to be nothing but love interest to male characters which is something i agree with but then they turn and reduce Rellana/Rennala to be Marikas lovers so its not misogyny now😭😭😭😭 rules for thee but not for me

Dude, Marika x Rennala situation is real and deadly, but as for your second example there is only ONE person who is notorious for giving Rellana no personality or acknowledgement beyond being braindead Marika's simp while also trashing on Rellana x Messmer over "misogyny and lesbophobia". No, spamming "misogyny" accusations in Elden Ring fandom like they're in a DPS check situation in general. And with all due respect to them pumping out fanart like assembly line, they and a group of their passionate fans is not "Er fandom". They are just a very loud group and apparently they've angered SO many people that ever since they and their friend who pretended to just "join Tumblr to support favorite artist" (assuming it wasn't just their alter) trashed @val-of-the-north and then got obliterated with facts by me I kept getting DMs after DMs of different people "thanking" me for speaking against their toxic behavior and sharing their own negative experiences with them. 🤦‍♂️

Like, the girls are really unhappy with them. They should reconsider how they behave in the fandom, especially with this much popularity. And if they already have I would not know, I no longer look in their general direction because after how Val was treated seeing any post from them puts a pit in my stomach. I am notorious for taking extremely long time to recover from grudges, especially if they aren't just personal but on behalf of friends or community. :p

And now, back to the subject:

"which is something I agree with"

? Not sure what you wanted to say with this by the way. I assume you wanted to say you agree with the frustration of reduction of female characters rather than disliking the concept of these ships

Or course both ships are absolutely alright! Rellana believes that Fire and Moon should be together as they always have as stated in the description of her blades in Japanese (something localisation team distorted into near-opposite direction)! You know, like they always have since the times of Fire Giants and Astrologers, a bond also treasured in Caria Manor with keeping Sword of Night and Flame! If anything, he is her love interest as he was worth abandoning the birth right as a princess in her eyes! Though one might argue it is ideological and Rellana is idealising, but standing for her beliefs despite the consequences is strong! Messmer has a TON lot to work through with Rellana, seeing a person that loves his curse, when this very thing ruined his life and has been scaring his own mother, and you can see in what good outcomes it can bring both!

Radagon and Rennala, on the other hand, are literally canon. Fromsoft were the ones who """reduced Rennala to just a simp""" by making her go insane from heartbreak, yet even then, she had a backstory as a Moonlight Witch who took over the Academy, and had tender bond with both Rellana and Ranni. Something was whack here, but nothing says Radagon didn't even try to love her or had life with her worthy of shippy fluff. He is just heavily compromised as a person because he is literally a sentient law of nature (he is Golden Order), that depends on how Marika shaped it. Of course he would reforge her wedding gift into a golden sword, it is literally what Golden Order DOES with cultures and the world! This guy was NOT kicking and resisting when he got called to marry Marika instead, but even then who can tell he didn't feel bitter that he had to hurt everyone by his very being and duties? Marika proclaimed to "study the depths of the Golden Order" as transition ( 🥁 ) into a new, more civilized and informed era! You'd think keeping Radagon close 24/7 would prevent him from visiting his divorce family more often? This stuff and this pair is still in the source material, and it isn't anyone's business to claim superior interpretation across the fandom unless female character is literally just a plot decide which Rennala doesn't magically become only because we find her at her lowest point (so... like we find most of the "legendary" characters in every Soulsborne game already....).

___________________

This was just me musing about the ships, but yes, again: literally nothing is wrong with these ships! It is when fans do reduce Rennala and Rellana to just simps what's frustrating, but shallow takes on female characters is problem of fandoms and interacting with media in general, and can't be blamed on concrete ships!

I have deep loathing for fans who complain about this issue yet themselves write female characters in a very shallow way but NOW it's okay because it's yuri and not MxF! Vocal Mariadeline fans did that in Bloodborne, vocal shippers of Rellana or Rennala with Marika do that in Elden Ring... 🤦‍♂️ They claim to be super feminist, yet are sending opposite message by having high quality requirements for MxF ships while celebrating cottagecore mediocrity and shallow portrayals for yuri ships. So, the elite yuri ships are already good by definition and don't need depth, thought and drama, unlike them peasant MxF ships that MUST be well-written and respect characters involved? Is this what they're saying? You either despise ANY reduction (?) of female character or accept any of them, no double standards. Especially when double standards depend on gender of the characters involved??? WTF???

[marzipanilla]

I was going to jokingly be like 'three threads one post GO !' lol but then I was like- no, I need to sit down re-read all of this and organize my thoughts better and probably still miss stuff I wanted to say. Time to have multiple tabs open !

Mark and Kate talking about surviving horrific body altering trauma! About struggling to relate to people after enduring horrible shit! yess. Figure out that you can be vulnerable with someone and you don't have to be having sex with them or insisting you love them so much they have to understand- you CAN have platonic meaningful relationships with people! Sometimes it IS very good to have an outside perspective. If TT were essentially Kate's family (and then they just... splinter into nonsense- okay- detour- why the hell weren't TT WAY more up in Robot's bizz about the fact he was a 30 year old man hanging out with teens for years? Aside from just letting the narrative give us general logistics on how they all got together- where are their personal feelings on this? Presumably they did treat him differently bc they believed him to be a robot- how do they feel about that trust being violated? Things they were willing to say to him? Things he might have seen? Why would any of them be okay with someone who lied to them like that still being in charge of their well being? Why am I once again stuck with an awkward romance storyline (Amanda and Rudy) instead of what is naturally there in the TT dynamic? Just?? hello?? Like, 'I violated one of my coworkers bc I realized he made you horny' is wild as it is- but the fact that I am getting that storyline instead of 'my coworker is mad at me because I lied to him for years'? Where are the GoG and TT dealing with liars meetings? Where is Immortal talking to them about what its like to have someone not turn out to be who you thought they were??

TT and GoG 'guess I wasn't the only one being lied to' dynamic we SHOULD have gotten.

On the retiring heroes line- where is more stuff with Samson! He didn't retire, he was SIDELINED bc he lost his powers and then he clawed his way back in. How does he feel about people willingly stepping away? Is he an insane adrenaline junky? Was he going to lose his health insurance if he didn't get back into things? What are his motivations !! If he was a member of GoG why wasn't he at the funeral. Why wasn't he up there talking with Nolan. Why didn't he come by for drinks. Lemme see THAT dynamic. Let's hear what Nolan has to say about his 'coworkers' when one of them trying to mourn is RIGHT THERE. What would his advice be to Mark about loss? Like, people who work jobs like that have a certain degree of disassociation from things/dark humor etc etc, but how would he not have a different outlook than Nolan? Was he pissed at GoG bc he wasn't with them after his powers were gone? How did he feel about the Nolan reveal? Secretly glad that you weren't around with the deaths happened? Insanely guilty that you weren't?

Aside from Atlantis being pissed about their dead king, like... did any other country demand reparation for what Omni-Man did? Was all that destruction apparently limited to the USA? Were aide packages sent? Refused? How many times even outside of contexts like that, were heroes sued for interfering in the matters of other governments workings? What are the extradition laws of superheroes? If they are all secret identity types- how do you identify where to send the court order? Do all heroes belong to a global registry official or not, and that is where their rights are determined? There has to be some sort of court for dealing with heroes no ??

Nolan isolating Mark and Debbie initially viewing it just as him being protective, bc it's a dangerous world out there! Stuff happens! But then Mark starts to push back against his dad, and she wants him to have human friends and suddenly it doesn't seem so protective bc Nolan is ALSO keeping him from that. Debbie finding superhero partners but struggling to find superhero PARENTS and just trying to figure out where the line is. Why are so few heroes parents? Just bias of where she is? Do most retire/take a break to raise their kids before going back? Are most too paranoid about the GDA taking an interest in their offspring to risk it? Are there RULES/laws about heroes having kids? How fucked would that be?

Does Mark ever wonder why he's an only child? Did they only want one kid? Was he an accident? Was Debbie willing to have more but Nolan's behavior with bby!Mark weirded her out too much? Was him being absent just enough of a deterrent to her not wanting to deal with all that again? If the GoG were a network for them, was Mark like a weird little celebrity to THEM bc yeah, heroes tend not to have kids? Aside from just being nepo baby, was he basically only child'd by an entire superhero team? What was that like?

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[fossys]

wanting to draw art of me n my friends but its so funny bcs we are all fictives which makes it like, the funiest fucking crossover ever

[catboygirljoker]

Dealer's Choice Ask - share one or more fact headcanon or similar about a character that you want to share but no one's asked the question for!

i often see people talk about xigbar [of course im talking about xigbar] like he's a bitter misanthrope, someone who's angry all the time and doesn't like people, and i've never really understood that. obviously there are times in the series when he gets angry, and he says mean things when he is angry, but the vast majority of the time he delivers all his lines with the same unshakeable smug grin.

i realized, though, that im pretty sure people think he's an angry misanthrope because hes an asshole. and folks don't really consider that people can be assholes without personally disliking the people they're assholes to!

like...larxene, for example, [who to be 100% clear i love and support,] strikes me as someone who's an asshole because she personally dislikes everyone around her and is constantly irritated because of it. she treats roxas like shit because she's offended to be burdened with babysitting duty. she's hotheaded, snaps at people, insults them.

even so—she's horribly mean to sora in CoM, and i dont get the vibe at all that she personally dislikes him. i think shes mean to him because, she can be? because she has no heart, no conscience to tell her to treat him any differently, and because she gets personal enjoyment out of being mean to him.

i think thats similar to why xigbar is an asshole. xigbar doesn't hate the people he teases and prods and provokes and says wacky mysterious shit to. in my mind, xigbar's been alive a really long time, seen a lot of shit, is pretty jaded, doesn't really care whether people like him or not. in most situations, he holds all the information and has the upper hand, and enjoys lording that over people and watching them squirm. it's less about his personal feelings towards individuals and more about getting to feel in control and above other people.

he ribs roxas a lot in Days, but thats really what it reads to me as: ribbing. teasing, poking fun. xigbar doesnt dislike roxas—in fact i think he likes roxas (whether or not he actually cares for or wants what's best for roxas is a different discussion)—xigbar's just. a dick! he's mean not in a hateful angry way, but in an over-familiar way, like your second-least-favorite uncle who's never forgotten that time you tripped and fell flat on your face when you were six. [fuck you, uncle mark.] [salem blake may or may not have an uncle mark.]

being over-familiar, reveling in knowing more than everyone else, wanting to feel like he's in control and above others—to me, all of that maps perfectly onto someone who has seen a lot of death and lost a lot of people, all in pursuit of a goal he doesn't entirely understand, and who is no longer willing to try connecting sincerely with people. or no longer capable of it.