#they thought she'd die too

[sincapjelly]

Ok I personally think Lilly inherited a TERRIBLE immune system from her mother, whom also died soon after Lilly was born. Thanks to her powers, she survived her baby and childhood days, because you know, the super healing. But she was always a sick child. It often took her months to heal from what would be a common cold, quickly turning more serious, made her spend days in bed.

In Quest for the Lost Powers, Lou mentions her going on missions after Cole's birth. Stating she felt responsible when she didn't accept to help when people were in danger. That's a dangerous mindset of hers, and I wanna talk about it later. But right now what this means is, that without her powers, her super strength and super healing, she was still trying to take part in missions, these usually being solo, she was pushing herself too much. Not surprising that what happened during her childhood would happen again.

The more her body was without the super healing provided by the elemental powers, the more easily she starts to fall sick. It seems her health is extremely fragile, and she was often having mild symptoms of being ill.

She starts being sick a little, brushing it off saying it's ok to be a little sick, but the more she tries to unsee it, the more serious it suddenly gets. A small cold starts to crash her immune system alltogether, makes her vulnarable for worse illnesses. She often times got back up again, but in the end she starts not to heal anymore, her body almost gives up on itself.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

if 9&10 were "dont wander off", and 11&12 were "the doctor lies", 13s rule #1 is "dont question me"

"have we not had a good time together" shes pointing yaz to the rule that yaz very well knows is there: we can travel if you dont ask me any difficult questions. yaz knows this is the rule - "because you ask too many questions", "this team structure isnt flat" - but she also was the one to invite the doctor into her home so im pretty sure she also knows shes not gonna kicked out that easily. she has some leeway. which she has been using between revolution and flux, which is why the doctor reminds her of the rules

i dont think she'd kick her out though. she wouldnt. i think it's just that the more you break the rule, the more unpleasant she becomes to be around, and eventually youre gonna walk out on your own. she doesnt want you to, she'd rather you stay and dont ask questions. but if youre gonna try to ask questions anyway, i think thats whats gonna happen

and yaz must think so too. because she does back off. because she doesnt want that to happen either. and it does anyway

[eggmeralda]

do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option

[stormyrainyday]

man growing up without any privacy is a fucking trip what do you mean i'm scared my mom found my imagine dragons CD it's imagine dragons for fuck's sake why would i get in trouble for that

[bitegore]

ngl i think i kind of was a genius for being like 'yeah this character is a scary killyou cannibal scary killer who scary kills you' and then realizing that the way my worldbuilding works out is that there's a nonzero chance that if you leave literally any body parts over they can just come back, depending on what they believe in their heart of hearts can kill them. Of course she'd start eating her kills. She probably tried normal stuff first and then realized it didn't work and she had to try harder if she wanted to actually keep them dead.

[hannibal-confessions-nbc]

I've done like three proper re-watches and I still don't understand Bedelia and what the fuck she thought she was doing going to Italy with Hannibal. If she was drugged the whole time then it doesn't make any sense when she tells Will in their bitchy pseudo-therapy sessions that she was still trying to help (fix?) Hannibal. But if she was trying to help him then why was she drugging herself? Ugh. This is partly why, as much as I love some of the episodes, season 3 just annoys me a bit.

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[elegyofthemoon]

yooo the pgr sibling dynamics are making me cry but ngl i love the gray ravens bc you put two very caring and protective older siblings with the neglected younger sister i can only guess the trio just dote on each other a lot 😭

[bingobongobonko]

took some screenshots cuz ive been playing soma and i've finally reached the dunbat but im like. holy shit? holy shit. i don't wanna do spoilers so i won't but simply put: simon jarett you are just like me fr. i too am massively confused and have no fucking idea what's going on.

BTW SPOILERS IN TAGS just in case

[eorzeashan]

new headcanon: Eight's hair stays short in all other cycles, but during winter immediately grows at an alarming rate into an incredibly long and thick locks that can reach the floor. the texture is super soft and bushy (but also rather heavy) and can even be bundled around oneself like a blanket/shelter, according to Echani hibernation cycles. He gets extremely drowsy and lethargic around the cold months, but as soon as winter ends the entire coat sheds into his usual short hairstyle with some brushing and maintenance...and a lot of lintrollers.

[s2pdoktopus]

The strict Shijie

[poptartmochi]

y'all i have created a Monster 😮😳😳

[toygirljackal]

Fuck I feel so dumb

[weavingmemories]

(tag stolen from @bibliophileemily​ - hope it’s okay to take this as a springboard to ramble a little 👉👈)

replaying ToS as often as i have, i tend to have fun thinking a lot about new character dynamics every time i come back to it- and yuan/colette struck me a lot when i considered how yuan directly compares her “cloying attitude” to martel when he opens up a little (in the mithos the hero sidequest)- and it kind of all spiralled from there! (colette asking yuan if he was looking for a four-leaf clover in the ring sidequest is so absolutely adorable too LMAO. her just pointing out that maybe he wants to be happy and that was her reasoning... oh, my sweet angel.)

since i’ve been thinking a lot about my chosen swap au, i’ve often considered how colette’s involvement in the renegades would be a lot more active; she’d be a lot more invested in actually HAVING autonomy somewhere and feeling like she can work to change the world for the better on her own merit, after being largely ‘seen and not heard’ as the flourishing world’s chosen for show (and treated generally like glass by the noble class)- so instead of largely gaming all sides of the conflict like zelos does in canon, she’d be more stuck between a rock and a hard place with cruxis, but genuinely believe in the work she does with the renegades.

i’m still fleshing out the smaller details of the swap, but i think that in general colette learning how to wield her elemental magic (via aionis) and training with the renegades would really be the first time she feels like she can do something, and while yuan would probably be standoffish and busy for the most part, she’d really come to respect him, especially knowing how much danger he’s in and the tightrope he also walks behind yggdrasill’s back! i also feel like their closer contact and communications would kind of wear him down over time, since colette has so much genuine faith in him as a leader (and i can see her becoming close to botta too, since they probably do a lot more practical work together since he runs things more front-facingly!)

on the flip side, zelos’ journey (because his mana signature is probably not quite so close to martel’s) is kind of a dummy one just for the sake of turning over the hourglass- i think colette’s life would still be in imminent danger of becoming martel’s vessel if mithos found out just how close her match was, and how much of a clear shot he’d have at bringing his sister back. and so yuan probably is keeping very close tabs on her for that reason too! and of course, he’d probably have a lot of conflicting feelings about her- reflexively wanting to remain stubborn in his belief that she’s just silly, naive, etc. as a defense mechanism to opening his heart again, but really coming to appreciate her both for her familiar kindness but also her own unique personality!

i also think that in post-game, colette would want to keep working with yuan and the renegades as a force for rebuilding the world and helping out (and maybe even become his new right hand man?). and that could lead to something... who knows? :3c

[inkskinned]

it's because the bear wouldn't kill me just for being a woman. the bear doesn't kill me for fun. the bear can be shouted at, and will leave me alone. the bear won't make a tiktok complaining about how i crossed to the other side of the path when i saw him coming. if a bear kills me, it's just being a bear: it cannot understand logic. it is not acting out of malice - just fear or hunger.

bell hooks once wrote about how porches might be the only outside space left for women - it is still the domain of the house while it is also outside-but-safe. when i am in the woods, i am in the bear's home, and he has a right to defend his property. outside spaces - anywhere at night, certain parks in the day - those are often implicitly "owned" by men. i cannot explain the feeling of knowing when you have entered a man's "territory." you walk into a place and just know you are in their space. you get a sick sense - you're in danger.

the other day a group of about 8 men were fooling around in the woods while i walked my dog. i had to go around, take the extra 3 miles just to avoid them. it's okay, i like walking. this wasn't even a #feminism moment. it was just a tuesday.

what a plain and easy question. only one of the situations is seen as a tragic accident. i would rather die and have a park bench erected in my honor rather than have my family questioned about why they let me, an adult, walk in the woods in the first place when i should really be at home in the kitchen.

i worked in retail and food service. i have had women say and do absolutely heinous and abusive things to me - not because i was a woman, but because i was there, and they were angry. the way men treated me when angry was different - it was because i was a woman. you can always feel the difference, how there's an undertone of i'd hurt you worse if i could get away with it. i keep seeing people try to cite stupid statistics. why is there always a strange rage whenever women agree on things? like men can argue their way out of our lived experiences? it isn't a buzzfeed quiz - which of these traumas are you? 10 super cute ways not to fear strange men.

i have actually (thrice!) seen a bear in the wild, by the way. i died each time, obviously, and am a ghost writing to you. (it was scary but completely and utterly fine). the second encounter was a black bear with her cub. she looked at me like - do we have to do this or are we good? my dog was busy sniffing a bush, completely nonreactive. i felt like i was in a sitcom: feminist poet reacts - does she actually mean she'd choose the bear? my only thought was - she's so beautiful. her paws are massive.

and there's a part of me that feels the rage spinning out in a corner. why do we have to come up with quippy little comments in order to teach men empathy. would you rather die in a car accident or due to a mugging? and would you rather your house burn down due to an electrical fire or due to arson? gee willikers - it's almost like we're human people, and want to risk the accident versus the intention.

i would rather my last thought be oh shit, a bear rather than i'm a person too. why doesn't that matter? why don't you care?

[tidepoolalgae]

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[roaringheat]

I am like actually fuckin shocked that Molly was the one to sell out the gang like....girl.....holy shit....