#they think the best way to have a relaxing vacation is by *checks notes*

[stinkrascal]

this trip to colorado has been so eye opening because it has taught me that i could literally never live here

[nymphaea-blue]

Love and Deepspace boys as dads

Info : 3.1k+ word count whole (around 650 - 900 per part), includes : Rafayel, Zayne, Xavier, Sylus, reader is female, reader and LIs are married, mentions of arguments, possible lore spoilers or slightly inaccurate lore references.

Notes : I did my best to keep the parts even :D They are all so supportive, I love the game because of this so I had to include that in the fic as well <3

Rafayel

﹒　⁺ I see him as a girl dad, he would probably have twins.

﹒　⁺ He loves his little daughters more than anything! They are the light of his day, even when they mess up sometimes. He has no issues taking care of them if you aren't able to because of missions.

﹒　⁺ Rafayel would be very patient. Yes, he has his moments when even he loses a little control, but overall your kids would be well behaved so there rarely were moments when he needed to get angry at them.

﹒　⁺ The playful type. He likes to take them out somewhere fun, perhaps to go swimming or maybe to a nearby amusement park, or even on a small vacation in a different country with you by their side of course.

﹒　⁺ They would be half lemurians! The girls are naturally excellent swimmers and they are very loyal, as well as interested in arts, but they look human and don't have a tail. He loves to sing them lullabies in Lemurian and he would try to teach them a little about Lemuria as well.

﹒　⁺ After they grew up, he was even more invested in their lives. He knew all the drama, everything that was happening in school and you bet if your daughters ever came home crying he would be quick to do something about it. Rafayel would also not mind doing skincare with all of you! He did it even before he knew you (in this lifetime) so now he just got to do it with the entire family.

﹒　⁺ He still makes sure the two of you get plenty of time together and he takes you out on dates, even well after he became your husband. He does his best to split the responsibility 50/50 but with how frequent his exhibitions seem to be, it’s hard, though he is always fully supportive of you and appreciates the effort you make for the family.

“Mommy look, look!” Your daughters called out to you as you were relaxing on a towel nearby. Since you were free from work and Rafayel finished his pieces for the exhibition, it was a perfect day to spend it on the beach, especially because the weather was warm and it was right in front of your home anyways.

As you looked over at where the girls were, you could see a sandcastle being built, with your husband, Rafayel, helping them with it. It was very visible which parts Rafayel worked on and which ones the girls did, but it was endearing since they tried to replicate what he did. 

“Awh, it looks wonderful! Good job, girls!” You cheered them on, they were trying their best and it was all that mattered, they had fun with their dad too, it wasn't surprising since they got a little bit of his artistic spirit from him.

“Heyy, I'm here helping them as well, you know.” Your husband pouted playfully as he got up and walked towards your resting spot.

He kissed your forehead gently after he adjusted your parasol to make sure the sun won't blind you.

“How are you doing, cutie?” He checked in on you, the beach day was also a way for you to take a break and relax, with constant either work or motherhood activities you felt very tired out as of late so Rafayel decided that he would keep the girls busy for a while so you would be able to relax a little. He does his best to help out daily but you understand that he is in fact a world famous painter so his job does keep him busy sometimes. “Much better, thank you Rafayel.” “Don’t thank me, I’m your husband and they are my kids too you know. Just let me know if you ever need a break, okay? I don’t mind ignoring Thomas every once in a while if it means I can spend some more time with my favourite girls.”

Zayne

﹒　⁺ I think he would have both a girl and a boy, with around a 4 year gap between them.

﹒　⁺ Ever since your oldest son was born, he took a lot more rest days from his job. His job was important, yes, but family came first, especially after you got pregnant with a second child. Zayne was very active in their lives and he was there to keep the entire family in check - especially when it came to health.

﹒　⁺ I think he picks up the kids from school almost daily and he is never late. He makes them school lunch while you handle breakfast for the family and later on he gets the kids dressed when you prepare yourself for the day. The responsibility is very even and no one feels left out or overworked.

﹒　⁺ He fully believes in raising kids to be smart, kind and helpful but also responsible. I feel like he would be against giving them a phone or access to the internet before he was sure they would be ready for it and even after they get it, he would remind them to not spend all day on the internet and he would do his best to go out with the kids so they would be able to play around outside.

﹒　⁺ Zayne never gets mad at the kids, he just can’t. Even if something does happen, he handles it with a straight face and a calm voice while he helps them to navigate the difficult situation. The only time he would get slightly annoyed at them would be if they dare to disrespect you - he is a firm believer that since you gave birth to them and took care of them so well, they should respect you, no questions asked.

﹒　⁺ The twins make frequent visits to his office, he just can't say no to them when they come in… He is still very professional and will make them wait in the waiting room if he has a patient but otherwise they are free to hang out with him and he likes to teach them about his job.

﹒　⁺ He is a little sad to see your kids get older. It's amazing that they are becoming more mature and responsible but he also has a hard time keeping up with them after they become teens. 

  “Okay, open up, you need to take this for your fever.” Zayne said, his tone fully professional, his doctor mode still on it seemed. The kids caught a cold and your husband was extremely worried about this, though it was also cute to see him like that.

“Noo, this will taste horrible!” 

“Yeah, it always does!”

The siblings said almost in unison, and your poor lover just sighed in response. It felt like the hundredth time he tried to get them to take their medicine but it always needed lots of fighting for them to do so. Deciding that it was enough of watching Zayne suffer, you entered the room.

“Sweethearts, you need to take this like your daddy says so, you don’t want to be sick all the time, do you?” You tried to persuade them sweetly as you sat down next to them on the bed to bring them some comfort. “I’m not taking this, it tastes like toothpaste!” “Besides, if I’m sick I can skip school.”

“..What if I give you sweets?” You decided to take a different approach, it was bound to work. Your kids instantly agreed of course, it would help to fix the taste of the medicine and it would be like a little reward to them and hopefully, they would get better soon. Your husband just watched in slight disbelief that the attempt worked.

“Giving them sweets after doing something they should do anyways can teach them bad habits.” “Do you want some too?” “... Yes.”

Xavier

﹒　⁺ I think he would have a little boy, one kid is plenty enough but he also thinks about having a girl in the future as well.

﹒　⁺ He was the one to take care of him after he was born and he let you rest instead. Xavier treasures his sleep a lot but when your little star wakes up, he is the one to get up from the bed and cuddle him to sleep again.

﹒　⁺ I think he would read him bedtime stories as well, though you often find him asleep with the book in his hand. It was adorable, really, because somehow he could fall asleep while taking care of him but who were you to complain, at least you could rest a little.

﹒　⁺ Xavier would prefer to take care of the kid most of the time and let you work or hang out with your friends (just not Charlie perhaps). He is still your partner at work of course and whenever at least one of you isn’t at home, you hire a nanny to care for the little sunshine. But overall, he takes a lot of the responsibility, though he loves every single moment of it because he never thought that he would be able to live long enough to see a little clone of you and him combined sleep so softly in his arms.

﹒　⁺ He is very protective of your kid, just as much as he is about you. Xavier does his best to keep him away from wanderers, he doesn’t even want your child to look at them because the little one will have nightmares later on. Whenever a wanderer attack does happen, he handles it with ease and then checks up on the two of you, he is always so worried as well

﹒　⁺ When it comes to parenting, he would look like a relaxed type, but he is very protective. During childhood he is very fun and relaxed, he lets him play around and explore and has no issue going to the cinema or to a playground with him. Teenage years are a different world though, especially if your kid gets a partner - you bet he will do a background check on them, their parents, their ancestors, whatever, just to make sure they are enough for your son.

﹒　⁺ He handles any upset situations with ease and a mostly calm face, he does his best to talk with your kid and explain the situation before trying to even punish him somehow. Afterwards however, in the comfort of your bedroom, you see that he is disturbed by those conversations often and he might get more clingy and more silent after this. It just pains him whenever your kid does something bad and mostly because later on he has to do something about this. Worry not, however, give him a few kisses and reassuring words and he will be asleep in your arms in no time, almost like a baby.

“... and then the knight saved the princess. The end.” “Read me another one daddy!” You came back from a night out a few minutes ago, but the sight of your husband reading a bedtime story to your son was so cute you couldn’t help but observe from the door. Though soon enough, Xavier noticed you and you swore the room almost got a little lighter after he saw you there all alive and well.

“Welcome back, dinner is ready if you are hungry. I will heat it up for you in a second after I finish here.” He greeted you with a smile after you came closer to them, he leaned in and gave you a sweet kiss on the lips as a welcome gift.

“No need, I can heat it up on my own, do you want some as well?” You asked him, it would be nice to eat with him, spend some quality time together. All you wanted to do was rest in his arms, to be honest.

“Sure, I can eat a little. Heat up a portion for me too please.” You nodded, it was nice that he agreed, at least you would have some company and you would be able to tell him about all that happened on the night with your friends. You were working hard lately and Xavier was actually the one to propose that idea to you. Your gaze soon drifted to the little one in his bed, already all tucked in and looking sleepy. “Hey baby, I missed you.” You gently kissed his forehead and he murmured something in return, it was clear he was close to falling asleep. “I will go to the dining room soon, just have to finish putting this one to bed.” You nodded and headed to the kitchen to head up the food for the two of you. After about ten minutes though, you noticed that he still hadn't come, you even managed to change into your pajamas already but he was nowhere to be seen so you decided to check your son's bedroom again.

Sure enough, you found Xavier, asleep with a book in his hand while he leaned against your son's bed. You smiled and covered him gently with a blanket.

You sure loved this sleepy star of yours.

Sylus

﹒　⁺ He would have twins 100% and more kids too if you are up for it. It would probably be two girls.

﹒　⁺ He is a rich dad. He buys them whatever they want, but he makes sure not to spoil them too much so they will still be respectful towards hard work and money. If they ever need something for their school trip or perhaps their hobby, he will often buy them it. Their birthdays or holidays are very prosperous and full of joy, Sulus gets the best gifts for everyone because there is no better use of his money than to make his own family happy.

﹒　⁺ Sylus does his best to not get kids into his dark business, they don’t need to worry their pretty heads about it. He keeps them a secret, only Luke and Kieran know and oftentimes, he actually orders them to stay at the mansion and keep the kids and you safe in case something happens when he is away on business. 

﹒　⁺ Disrespect isn’t something that he would tolerate, but he handles it well. Sylus is cold during those talks, because he thought the two of you raised them better, but he understands that the kids make mistakes sometimes and he tries to make them realise their mistakes. In the end, he can never be too harsh on them, he tries but he is too much of a softie when it comes to your kids. 

﹒　⁺ You take care of the kids most of the time and pick them up from school. Sylus is a busy man, you knew this even before you got married so it was fine. He however feels guilty that he can’t spend as much time with them as he would like so he tries to make this up to them and you as much as possible. If you ever tell him that you need a break and feel tired then you already know that he suddenly has the next day off and he is up and with the kids the entire time while you get sent to a spa or on vacation somewhere.

﹒　⁺ He would try to help them with homework after they enter school, but he is always so confused about this. Don’t get him started on arts and music, he doesn’t understand this at all and he doesn’t know how one even teaches such a subject when it comes to the talent and abilities of the individuals, which not all have (like him).

﹒　⁺ I think the kids would somehow get some of his dragonic traits. They love to hoard things like toys or your jewelry in their room, they get so annoyed when you give one sibling more attention than the other and of course, they even look a lot more like Sylus rather than you. The cocky bastard has strong genes. Of course they can’t have a tail, horns or wings, but the twins dressed up as dragons once for halloween and Sylus was ready to cry on the spot.

   Currently you were at the table, drawing with the twins as an afterschool activity. The entire day was a bit hectic, you had a hard mission at work, then you had to rush to pick the kids up, the girls got into a little bit of trouble at school so you had to listen to the teacher scold them which sucked and now they were very energetic after school while you were absolutely drained. You did your best to appear happy, it wasn’t all their fault that the day sucked so much for you and you didn’t want to take it out on them. “I’m home, girls.” Sylus said as he finally, finally came back. He left yesterday morning and didn’t come back until now. You missed him and were worried despite knowing he would be able to handle himself. The girls ran up to him for hugs immediately.

“Daddy! Where were you? We missed you!” The girls said and then they eagerly began to talk to him about what he missed. Such energetic kids they were.

You just watched, resting your elbows on the table, you had a moment of rest it seemed.

Sylus, who noticed that you didn’t go up to greet him, hurried the girls to their room for a moment before he approached you. “Hey there, kitten. Missed me?” He asked as he gave you a kiss and a slight side hug as he noticed how tired you looked. “I did, you sure took your sweet time to come back.” You responded, with a little more bite than you wanted. But Sylus didn’t get mad, rather he seemed worried.

  “How are you holding up? Did the girls give you trouble?” “A little. I’m just… tired, it was a rough day.” You sighed, you didn’t try to hide that you were exhausted, it was visible and you knew he would do his best to help so there was no point.

“I see… how about I take them somewhere fun now, get them to use up all their energy so they will go to sleep nicely and then later on, we can spend some time together, hm? You just rest right now, catch up on some sleep and selfcare.” He proposed while he rubbed your shoulder. He knew taking care of kids could be exhausting sometimes so he would be more than happy to let you rest now and then treat you someplace nice later on. 

“That sounds nice, thank you Sylus..” “Don’t thank me, just go rest, I will take care of our little angels."

[cozycottagetarot]

How Can You Manifest Your Wishes?

 Notes:

This is not one of my favourite readings, but I hope you find something useful in it!These types of readings are always slightly difficult to keep organise but I tried my best. I'd love to know if you prefer paragraphs or bullet points as well! Shout out to the anon who recommended this reading!

‼️ This reading is in no way shape or form meant to act as or substitute professional advice of any kind. Please use your discretion, think carefully before you act and only take what resonates be it a little, some or none at all. ‼️

This PAC Includes:

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

The Energy You're In

The Energy You Need To Be In

Extended Reading Includes

How Can You Open Yourself Up

What's Working vs What's Not Working

Additional Messages

Dividers From X

Reading Masterlist | Patreon | Paid Readings -- Open 🥂

PILE 1

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Wishes for a full-life makeover. If it’s a wish (or goal) you feel blocked or burnout pursuing. A wish you keep coming back to or feels like a ‘higher calling’. A wish of the heart. A wish around love (of any kind).

The Energy You're In

It feels like you’re in this bright, playful energy and you’re just absolutely ready to go! You see all the possible laid out before you and you’re getting excited about it. You could be coming out of a rough period and you’re trying to rebuild your sense of positivity. You’re trying to move on to the next version of you. You’re expecting the best (or you should be) and are in this very attractive and magnetic energy right now. You have a card here the Flamingo which is all about fun and the vibes of this section make me think of Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter. The vibe of the music video feels very playful and fun and the line “my give a f*cks are on vacation” reminds me of the energy you're in at the moment. It all feels very warm like I can almost feel the sun on my skin.

HOWEVER, you may be focusing on these possibilities through the eyes of others… living vicariously through others. What I mean by this is viewing people through social media, books, even in person and believing you can do what they do (which is fine) but through their experience or as them rather than you… I hope that makes sense. You may hold onto the super intense aspects of love or pleasure. This can be especially important regarding relationships! I will make a post on this a little later (it’s drafted), but the energy you’re in requires you to take a look at what ‘work’ you’re asking others to do for you. You need to focus on how you’re channeling the vibrant passionate energy you’re embodying at the moment.

The Energy You Need To Be In

As beautiful as your current energy is, you need to slow your roll a little bit here. Yes, hold onto the belief that things are going great for you— but you also need to ground yourself and savour the small moments too. Enjoy ALL the good things… right down to the perfectly crafted beverage. Take chances but double-check your trajectory first. Don’t just rush in, you’re in need of a balance right now. You’re in a phase of transition but divine timing is also at play. However, I feel like if you try to force things then you might end up bringing a 'tower moment' on yourself (if you’re about to panic, relax!) where you’re forced to take a look at what is truly important to you.

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 2

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

 Of personal strength. Wishing your wish will come true. Balance. Employment (especially self employment). A wish to remove a known block or a wish for a solution of any kind. Relating to being in between phases. Something that will bring you a sense of safety or stability. Gaining your wings. Wishes involving social connections.

*Relationships are such a strong theme here, but it seems as though it maybe experience from childhood that come up a lot in this reading

The Energy You're In

I think you’re in an energy of waiting and surveying your surroundings... Like when someone’s wounded and retreats to regroup and tend to themselves. Main themes relate to boundaries, relationships and self care. You’re trying to find allies but I think it’s a little bit hard right now. Very analytical mind, trying to determine what stays and what goes. Things are definitely shifting and you’re just kind of keeping to yourself. Communication is such a big thing for you here. I feel like you’re really just on the sidelines taking things slow. You want to ally with others but you need to tend to yourself first or at least that’s your focus right now. You’re mainly in an energy of taking stock it seems… on alert in changing circumstances. You might be ruminating on how you communicate with others? There’s a suggest to look at how you experienced communication growing up? You might be stuck in your head… seeing “people” as not safe.

Idk guys, like are you good? Usually Pile 3 is the one that messes with me but the energies here feel sooo off. Kind of wondering if you're fatigued, hung up over someone even? Not necessarily romantically but someone who was/is supposed to have your back and you’re just hitting a wall or something at the moment. The energy literally disappearaed once I moved onto the energy you need to be in so take that as a positive sign!

If it ain’t me — Dua Lipa kept coming to me and disco balls stood out from the cards.

The Energy You Need To Be In

I feel like you need to be in an energy where, yes you’re surveying/assessing your surroundings, but you have to get up and do so instead of sitting around. You need to take action and expand your horizons. Be bold and go for it... I think you’ve got what you need. The consistent message is that doing nothing is not an option. Take a chance on what will fulfill your desires. Accepting endings is important and being able to move on. Allow yourself to transition to a fresh start.

Consider your image and how you show up as/interact with authority. Leadership. Especially emotional leadership. Parenting oneself and/or setting the example for how you want others to treat you. Create a safe home ‘base’ (internal or external) but don’t get stuck in it. Maybe ask yourself what creates home? Makes you feel safe/secure? You also could need to take a look at sibling relationships or any with a sibling like dynamic and factor in how you those affect how you show up is important to look at too. I think this could relate to blocks. But you need to place your roots first and then explore.

Trust yourself and make a move. Focus on your strengths and believe that you have gathered enough data to move forward. Structure and strategy are going to be your friends. Honor those ‘above’ you but hold onto your power. Set boundaries and hold other accountable (and yourself too).

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 3

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Travel, adventure, family, community, friendships/found family, creative projects, diving intervention, exploring new interest, work-life balance.

The Energy You're In

Closing out cycles and actively transforming. Seeking out messages from the divine. You're open to receiving messages and guidance. Very calm and zen feeling. Maybe feeling like you're going through or have recently gone through a rebirth. You're ready to make moves. Strong willed. "What do you want to do?" is a question that should be potentially on your mind if it's not. Taking inspired action. Bring play into your life/how can you do so? This can even apply to relationships. Healing. Compare and contrasting how past events influence you and if how you're showing up matches your intentions. Heavy on the "level up" energy but this is a kind you're actively seeking. Exploring relationships, mentorships, ideas. Leaning on love ones. Generally being in good vibes.

Feels like a combination of pile 1 and 2 so if you were drawn to one of those as well I recommend checking them out.

This also feels like a very spiritual pile? I'm not sure how describe it but I kept saying 'the Universe' alot while I was doing this reading so of course just adjust it to whatever suits you and your belief best! 

The Energy You Need To Be In

It's slightly hard to organise the messages here. There's a need to ground yourself. Don't stop working on healing, but also maintain your stability. Expansion & communication. Abundance is coming in. Remember you're worthy of abundance and your manifestation skills are heightened. Big things are coming for you. Expanding your perspective as well. Where do you need to speak up? You can and should try to lean on others. Open your heart... you don't have to have an armored heart. Cultivate your wishes, the things you want to grow. Nurture your wishes and your heart. Make sure you're clear on what you want to manifest. Keep your motivation up by focusing on short term steps. Look to mentors for guidance.

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 4

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Nostalgia. Happiness. Needing motivation. Heavily charged emotional wishes. Something relating to others… not necessarily currently though. Like a wish that was formed because of someone years ago. If you have a vision board. Looking for a break. Or for a break to end. A wish where you’ve heard divine timing is at play. Direction. A waiting period to be over. Trying to break something you know isn’t good for you.

Pay attention to words, phrases or songs that come up often.

The Energy You're In

You’re very guarded. You’re wanting to break away from whatever is just weighing on you and you’re working hard at it but at the same time I feel like you just won’t let go??? Despite you working to break the chains or get a move on, it feels like they’re never ending but they are ending!! Don’t be fooled by appearances.

I think you’re very future focused and all about recreating yourself (I heard in entirety). You’re trying to expand your pov and I feel also kind of just nurture yourself internally. Very introspective trying to figure out who you are and what you want to do or who you want to be.

The Energy You Need To Be In

I didn’t really get anything specifically about money regarding wishes but I think it at least revolves around some kind of stability heavily. You need to be walking away from what isn’t serving you. Realise that you can create just about anything right now... anything goes.

You need to be doing what’s best for you regardless of if you hate it. Your day to day life is super important. I don’t know if rainbows are important to you but also I’m feeling like you need to fill your life with colour too. You need to become clear on resources and what they mean to you such as money, you body, other material possessions etc. get your financial life together. Do some deep cleaning. Like normally these readings are a matter of mindset and mental work but this pile feels very physical. Beautify your life and make it aesthetically pleasing without breaking the bank. How can you use art as well to make a masterpiece out of your feelings? How can you make your day to day life more enjoyable?

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

[princessmaybank]

Imagine JJ getting reader a dildo shaped exactly like his dick and she sends him a video of her using it while on vacation and he's like "answer the fucking phone" and he's watching her on facetime while she falls apart from the dildo(he's obviously stroking himself while watching)

I'm happy I finally got to this one baby! It's such a fun ask I love your brain! Thank you baby, I hope you enjoy! 😘

Secrets On Vacation

Pairings: Boyf!JJ x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+, Clone Dildo, Little White Lie, Masturbation, Real Porn Links, Phone Sex, etc.

Summary: JJ got you a gift and you get to use it on vacation!

Author's Note: Posted a little early but I hope you all enjoy!

"For when I'm not around baby." JJ gives me a smirk before winking as he hands me a long blue box with a little white ribbon holding it together. I gave him a smile and untied the bow before grabbing the lid of the box and removing it.

I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting but it wasn't an exact replica of my boyfriends cock made of silicone. A blush rose to my cheeks as I hid the present from anyone who could be around even though we were in my room, with no one else around.

*3 Months Later*

Sarah, Kie, Cleo, and I decided we needed a girls trip to clear our heads and relax a bit. We drove all the way to Florida to get away for a while. I texted with JJ pretty much the entire ride. He insisted on teasing me the whole time, getting me worked up knowing he's not here to help me fix it. When we finally made it to our hotel I was eager to check in and at least get unpacked. Unfortunately I didn't get any alone time due to the fact that we were all okay with sharing one room and two beds. We stayed in the room for a while until we eventually decided to go shopping. Before the day was over we walked the beach and got some frozen yogurt. As I was eating I got a new notification from JJ.

JJ: Gonna be a good girl and use that present from daddy tonight?

Y/N: I forgot to bring it daddy I'm sorry...

JJ: Check that secret zipper in your suitcase 😉

"We should grab some dinner at that Tiki themed bar!" Sarah pretty much yelled. The other two girls agreed. Before I could even think, I told them I wasn't feeling well and I was going back to the room. They tried to stay with me but I encouraged them to have a fun time without me. "Are you sure girl? We can take care of you.." Kie said caringly. I shook my head. "I just need to rest alone, peace n quiet ya know?" I made a face to try and convince them I wasn't feeling great, and it must've worked because they finally let me leave.

When I got back to the hotel room, I immediately rushed to my luggage and opened my secret zipper that I never use because what do I have to hide? Apparently an 8 and a 1/2 inch dildo perfectly ribbed like my boyfriends dick.

I didn't waste any more time. I slipped my shorts and panties off and hopped onto my side of one of the beds. I spit on my fingers and rubbed the saliva around and inside my entrance. Suddenly I thought about JJ, he has been teasing me all day, certainly I can send him a video of what he's missing. I smirk before pulling out my phone and hitting record as I thrust the dildo inside of me.

Y/N: Thinking about you 😘

Attachment 1 Sent

Attachment 2 Sent

I ended up sending him two videos and I received a response almost immediately after I sent them.

JJ: Call me.

I was too busy playing with myself I didn't notice his first message. My phone started ringing and before I could answer it, it stopped.

JJ: Answer the fucking phone princess.

I received another call shortly after that text was sent. I was hesitant but I did answer the FaceTime. "Playing hard to get baby?" He smirks, looking more irritated than turned on. "No sir. I was playing, I'm sorry." I apologized and he seemed to understand. "Are you still playing with yourself sweet girl?" He bit his lip and looked me up and down the best he could. I nod as I continue to slowly thrust the dildo into my drenched hole. "Mmm feels just like you-" I whimpered and closed my eyes.

"Yeah baby? let me see my pussy.." The way he said it was silky and gritty at the same time, I could've busted right there. I lowered my camera to show him my hand pushing the cock in and out. "Oh, you're so wet babygirl. Is that all from me?" He teased. "Who else Jay?" I giggled. I heard him grunt and that's when I knew he was touching himself too.

"Oh shit-" I sped up my pace and moans spilled from my lips. "Please show me Jay- gotta see you.." I say between moans and he complies. His cock was rock hard and glistening from pre-cum and spit. JJ's hand was fisting his cock at the same pace as my hand, making it feel like we were almost together. "Mmm shit baby, so fuckin' perfect. So beautiful, look at that beautiful, wet, cunt. And it's all f-fuckin' mine. Shit-oh.." He gasped, he was close, I knew it, but so was I.

"Fuck- please daddy- ne-need you.." I whined. "I kn-ow baby, so close, c'mon cum f'me pretty girl.." He hissed my name as he came in his hand. About two seconds later I squeaked his name out along with some profanities as I came all over his cock, well you know what I mean. We both giggled and stared at each other through the phone. "That was perfect, thank you babygirl, can't wait to give you the real thing when you get home in a few days. Rest up, I'll talk to you in the morning." We said our goodbyes and hung up.

I had to take a few minutes to catch my breath before cleaning up. I even had enough time to shower before the girls got home. They brought me some food and I ate while they told me everything I missed. Even after hearing everything I would have encountered with them, I would absolutely choose my night with JJ on the phone, every time.

[sitkowski]

say it a thousand times ( will ramos x f!reader )

pairing: will ramos x f!reader cw: 18+ MDNI ⚠️ oral sex (f receiving), spitting, male masturbation, a little bit of choking, the usual amount of fluff. word count: 1k author's note: the newest pictures of lorna and will inspired me. this is dedicated to my beloveds @malice-ov-mercy and @circle-with-me who got me into lorna with their fics in the first place and are two of my faves. honestly it's just filth. title comes from "i think i'm in love" by taylor acorn. divider by @strangergraphics 🌺

⇉ masterpost || taglist signups

Being here feels like a dream and you find yourself able to unwind and relax for the first time in a while. You’re not worrying about work or any other obligations, not thinking about anything other than enjoying the scenery and all of the sights that the island has to offer. Will had encouraged you to hold on to your vacation time and save it for when you’d be able to come out with the band for some shows, and it’s honestly the best idea he’s ever had.

You’re in the green room after sound check, everyone just hanging out while trying to make plans for lunch. Will is, as always, distracting as ever. He’s not even doing anything in particular, he’s just draped across the sofa, scrolling through his phone. You raise your phone to take a picture of him. You’re able to get one before he notices, and he smiles.

“What are you up to?” he asks, lowering his phone.

“Sightseeing,” you say, taking another picture. His smile widens. “The view is pretty good.”

You like the way he blushes when you say that. Getting up from your seat, you walk over to join him on the couch. He lifts up long enough for you to sit and then immediately curls himself around you, propping his head up on your lap. It’s almost second nature for you to drape an arm over him and then card your fingers into his hair, enjoying the content hum he lets out as he wraps an arm over your leg and closes his eyes. He dozes like that until Adam comes in to let you know everyone’s leaving for lunch soon.

The rest of the day seems to go by in a blur. The show is amazing, but you’ve never been more happy to finally be off your feet and back at the hotel. Will’s still out with the band so you just spend the time you have to yourself relaxing. You take a quick shower, putting on one of Will’s shirts and a pair of panties, before curling up in bed with one of the books you brought with you. You get through a few chapters before you hear the electronic beep of the door opening.

You can tell Will’s still riding that post show adrenaline rush, and you tuck your bookmark into your book as he makes his way into the room. “Hi baby. How was the rest of your night?”

“It was good. Adam drank Austin under the table and they danced with hula dancers at the bar.”

You know he’s got pictures to show you, but you can also tell that he’s very keyed up still, and you nod along as he tells you other stories from after you left. But he’s still twitchy and you just wait, knowing eventually he’s going to pounce.

"C'mere," Will murmurs, grabbing onto your ankle and dragging you to the edge of the bed. "I'm still starving."

You let out a delighted giggle as he drags your panties down your legs and off your feet, tossing them over his shoulder. He puts his hands on the backs of your thighs, pushing your legs up and open. You feel your laughter dying out as he stares at you like he's going to die if he doesn't get to eat you out. Before you can say anything, he dives in, immediately sucking at your clit. A near shriek falls from your mouth as you tangle your fingers into his curls.

Will moves his mouth lower, tongue teasing at your hole. He pushes up, fingers digging into your skin as you squirm against his mouth. He never minds when you yank on his hair, in fact he encourages it as he moans into your cunt, grabbing your wrist and making sure you don't let go. You feel the edge of teeth against your folds, and your spine bows off the bed.

"That's it, let me hear you," he murmurs, pulling back a little. You hear him spit onto your clit more than you feel it. "Let the whole fucking island hear you."

You suck in a ragged gasp, each noise he pulls from you growing louder. You have your first orgasm like that, thighs clamped around his ears and fingers knotted in his hair. But Will doesn't let up yet, pulling you to the edge a second time. He sucks on your clit even harder, mouth open and sloppy and you outright scream when you come again.

Out of breath, you plant a hand on his forehead and push him back before he can get going a second time. You sit up and Will presses his face against your leg, hand shoved down the front of his shorts as he stays down on his knees.

"Hey, let me see you," you insist and Will lets out a whine of his own, shoving his shorts out of the way while staying on his knees. "Aw honey, you're so hard for me. Do you need more?"

He shakes his head, mouth pressed to your skin as he moves his fist faster. He won't look at you and that won't do. Gently, you cup your hand around his throat, tipping his head back. Will's eyes are wide and his face is still wet with your arousal. Keeping your eyes on him, you tighten your fingers, just a little.

"Thank you," he breathes out, and you smile.

He presses into your hold needily, and even if you aren’t choking him enough to take his breath you can see that it seems to be exactly what he needs. It doesn't take him long to come, spilling across his hand messily. He tips forward against your lap and you rub your hands down his back soothingly.

"Feel better now?" You ask in amusement.

Will’s response is muffled when he answers, but you take it as a yes. Eventually, he pulls himself up and drags himself into the shower, insisting you need a second one now. 

⇉ taglist

@ladyveronikawrites @circle-with-me @deathblacksmoke @dominuslunae @rumoured-whispers @cookiesupplier @kinseysucks @collapsedglasshouses @thatchickwiththecamera @th4t-em0-k1d @blackveilomens @illmakeyousaywow @kait16xo

if you ’d like to be added to the taglist, you can find the form at the top of this fic! thanks for reading/reblogging 🩷

[reasonsmandy]

His Dancing Is An Atrocity

Eddie Roundtree x Fem! Reader

✧.* requested by anon — i miss eddie(djats) fics, sooo a bit of a jealousy thing that leads to obscenity (no prompt for that)

✧.* summary — This trip was everything you wanted after working so long, it would be the best days of your vacation for sure, but something was preventing Eddie from having the same experience.

✧.* warnings — jealousy

✧.* word count — 2.8k

✧.* 🎸 — Eddie's masterlist

You were all very excited for this vacation, after all, you've been giving your all to the band since the Aurora recordings. You loved being among those idiots, and being able to play your keyboard and create music together with them was awesome. So by the time the pay checks arrived at the house in Laurel Canyon you were already planning a trip with the whole gang.

Warren was super excited, he had planned all the way on his boat to take you to a beach house that Graham had rented, so there you were, packing all your stuff for a sensational week full of drinks, music and of course drugs.

“Guys, are you going to take a long time to finish packing?” You say, getting the attention of the boys in the room.“Billy and Camila just left their house, they'll be here in a few minutes. We need to be ready.”

“I'm just waiting for my guest to arrive.” Graham speaks, relaxing his body on the couch.

“Ooh, who is the girl, uh?” Warren says with a smirk on his face, bouncing on the couch cushion like a little kid.

“No girl, man.” The younger Dunne says laughing. “In fact, I called that guy who started working with us at the record company, the one who mixes the songs, you know?”

“Oh, really?” Your body language changes at the mention of the man who has caught your attention since the last recordings, was nothing more than a crush.

“Someone seems interested, huh.” Rojas gets off the couch to go to you, nudging you as his sentence is spoken.

“Shut up Warren.” Roundtree's voice emanates when he enters the place. “Don't let him piss you off Y/N.”

“Alright, sorry for bringing up the obvious.” He shrugs, putting a cigarette to her lips while lighting it next. “I'm going to get my chick on the way there, so I think we're ready.”

“Why did you ask that guy to go with us?” Roundtree broached the subject again, his tone oddly irritated.

“We became close friends over the last few days, I figured it wouldn't be a problem.” The guitarist responds, looking directly at Eddie.

“Well, it is.” You frown at his response, approaching him you gently touch his left hand making him look at you.

“Can I talk to you privately for a second?” You whisper in his ear, and he nods. “Guys, we'll wait for you in the van, okay?”

Eddie adjusts his jacket around his body, making his way behind you following like a puppy dog, the two of you open the back of the van and settle in there, you sit in front of him facing him for a few seconds.

“What's going on with you?” You ask, arching your eyebrows in question. “You were super rude with Graham over there.”

“I thought this was a family trip, that's all.” He shrugs, but you knew him very well to know that he was lying.

“Stop lying, Warren was talking about the twins he wanted to bring the whole week, you knew it wasn't going to be just us. Spill it!”

“I told you, it's nothing.” He relaxes his body, his eyes managing to make your body shiver.

You and Eddie had a lot of tension going on between you since you joined the band, you had already made out a few times when the drink or drugs hit you hard, but neither of you had the courage to bring it up the next day. In addition, you had a sensational energy, which was part of the rest of the band, perhaps the desire to be with each other emanated in the notes you played or was it conveyed in the looks exchanged.

You guys felt comfortable being in each other's presence and maintaining that dynamic where everything lives between the lines. So you clearly knew something was wrong, he was irritated out of the blue, his excuses were not plausible, and the sullen look that resided on his face was noticeable from miles away. But you decide not to bring it up anymore, you knew him, and knew that sooner or later if something was really bothering him he would say something about it.

The van parks a few meters away from the pier, you could already see Warren's boat baptized as “Aurora” there, little by little the band took their luggage to the floating object, arranging everything for that unforgettable weekend. You struggled with the three suitcases in your hand, trying to balance them while dodging other people walking.

“Can I help you?” A voice you know calls your attention, slowly you turn to see who was calling you, recognizing the man mentioned by Graham earlier. “You seem to have difficulty with, well, all of that.”

“I'd like that, thank you.” You lean your body so he can pick up one of the suitcases you were balancing. “Good to see you Gabe, how are you?”

You and the man talked making the way to the boat, and Eddie watched this scene from afar while feeling his blood bubbling, he hated that guy. His arms crossed against his chest, as he felt the frustration also part of him, he had no idea how he was going to spend this week with him in the same room. He knew, or at least thought he knew, that he had ulterior motives with you and just thinking about it would devastate Roundtree.

The whole way to the house on the beach was a party, the music accompanied the band everywhere and it was no different there, you sang and drank while talking about everything and nothing at the same time. It was amazing how those individuals made you feel at home, how wonderful a family they were to you.

As the sun began to set, casting a warm, golden glow across the tranquil waters, the boat gently cut through the calm waves. The rhythmic sound of the engine merged with the distant laughter and chatter, creating a soothing harmony that seemed to echo the bond forming between you and the man.

Eddie's gaze never wavered from the scene before him, his eyes narrowing as he observed your interactions. The cool breeze tousled his hair, a stark contrast to the seething heat he felt within. He clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white as his fingers dug into his palms. A sense of unease settled in his chest, the tension growing palpable as he struggled to suppress his animosity.

Meanwhile, the boat drew nearer to the shore, revealing the full expanse of the beach. Fine, powdery sand stretched out like a welcoming carpet, framed by gentle swaying palm trees that whispered secrets to the wind. The water's hues shifted from deep blue to a vibrant turquoise as it lapped at the shore, creating a serene and inviting backdrop.

As the boat gently docked, you disembarked onto the soft sand, your feet sinking slightly with each step. The beach house, perched just a stone's throw away, beckoned with its open windows and a sprawling veranda that faced the sea. The sound of music drifted on the breeze, blending harmoniously with the soothing symphony of waves crashing gently against the shore.

The atmosphere was alive with an infectious energy as you were greeted by the family who had opened their home to you. Their warm embraces and heartfelt smiles instantly made you feel like a part of something greater, as if you had found a second family in this coastal haven.

The beach house was every bit as beautiful as Graham had promised, a gigantic space big enough for rock stars and their dates and a few other people, too. Its painting in pastel colors was eye-catching, and as you felt the sand on your feet, the whole environment was proof that you guys would have a sensational time here.

As you stepped through the front door, a sense of awe washed over you, the interior of the beach house even more magnificent than its exterior. The open layout revealed a spacious living area adorned with plush couches and vibrant artworks that seemed to capture the essence of the ocean's beauty. Large windows framed the panoramic view of the beach, allowing the soothing sound of waves to permeate the room.

“Oh, I heard the Riva house is around here.” You hear Gabe's voice inform you of a curious fact, Graham stares at him in surprise at the information, you frown.

“The Riva house?” You ask, going up the stairs to the front door.

“Oh, the singer, Mick Riva.” He explains, putting your luggage in the ground as you wait for Graham to open the place. “Legend has it that his kids live here, but the guy has so many kids that it's hard to know.”

“Well, I had no idea about that.” you say making your way into the house, your mouth drops open as you take in the large and wonderful space. “Oh my goodness, this place is beautiful…”

As you began to explore the house, your eyes widened in disbelief. The spaciousness seemed limitless, designed to accommodate a lively group and then some. The rooms exuded an inviting charm, each one a haven of comfort and relaxation. Warren's infectious energy swept you up as he slung his arm around your shoulder, his eyes revealing his exhaustion from the day's events.

"Rest up, Y/N, because tonight is all about partying!" Warren exclaimed, his excitement contagious. He darted up the stairs with an exuberant shout of "party," mimicking the beats of a drum as he went.

Laughter bubbled forth as you watched him disappear, his antics injecting a sense of light-heartedness into the air. The anticipation of the evening's festivities hung palpably in the atmosphere.

In a room nearby, Warren had already succumbed to slumber, his guest following suit. Camila and Billy claimed one of the suites, leaving the remaining guests to make themselves comfortable in the tropical haven.

The day dawned with a gentle breeze carrying the promise of warmth and sunshine. The rhythmic sound of waves crashing against the shore created a soothing backdrop as you stepped onto the soft sand of the beach. The sky above stretched vast and cloudless, its brilliant blue mirrored by the sparkling expanse of the ocean.

Opting for a moment of relaxation, you found a cozy spot on the beach, nestled beneath the shade of a swaying palm tree. Camila, a kindred spirit who had quickly become a dear friend, joined you, her laughter blending with the rustling of leaves as you settled in.

As the two of you lounged on beach towels, you engaged in casual conversation that flowed effortlessly. The scent of saltwater hung in the air, and the occasional squawk of seagulls added a playful note to the serene symphony of nature. Camila's infectious energy and genuine camaraderie made the time pass swiftly, each passing moment fostering a sense of ease and comfort.

Graham and Gabe, familiar faces that had become integral to your experience, occasionally joined you by the shoreline. Graham's thoughtful insights and easy banter provided a sense of familiarity, while Gabe's charm and genuine interest in your thoughts painted a portrait of a blossoming connection.

As the sun arched higher in the sky, conversations drifted from lighthearted anecdotes to deeper discussions, weaving a tapestry of shared experiences and newfound connections. The hours slipped away, and you felt a sense of contentment wash over you, the rhythm of the waves lulling you into a peaceful state of mind.

Anticipation for the evening's festivities gradually grew, and with the setting sun casting hues of orange and pink across the horizon, you made your way back to the beach house. The vibrant colors seemed to reflect the warmth of the connections you had formed, a visual reminder of the bonds that had woven themselves into your heart.

As party preparations commenced, you found yourself drawn into the whirlwind of excitement, helping to set up decorations and arrange seating. Graham's infectious enthusiasm and Gabe's genuine smile added an air of anticipation to the atmosphere, both of them working alongside you to ensure the evening would be nothing short of unforgettable.

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow that illuminated the beach house and the party setup. You enter the residence eager to get ready for the party you've been waiting for all last week.

You could already hear the records playing on the record player, your body begged you to run downstairs as fast as possible to dance with all your soul. You barely went down a step and you could already smell the cigarette and the smoke that adorned your body with the descent, from above the view of his entire band and guests having the time of their lives, Daisy snorting cocaine while dancing in circles, Warren pouring an unfamiliar drink into Graham's mouth and chaos enveloped them with each new beat.

“If I had known your parties were like this I would have joined longer.” Gabe tells you, extending his hand to help you down, Eddie notices the scene and adjusts his body on the couch. “Hey, you wanna dance?”

“I'd—”

“Actually, she hates that song, so I guess you can go dancing with, I don't know, that girl over there.” Eddie interrupts you, his hand resting on the back of your back, you raise one of your eyebrows, not understanding anything.

“Oh, I didn't realize…” Gabe is interrupted by Roundtree like you were seconds before.

“Yeah man, cool.” Eddie takes one of your hands, taking you to a further and quieter place.

“What the fuck was that?” You question, his hands on his hips as he watched you.

“You look stunning Y/N” You are taken by surprise, feeling the butterflies in your stomach dance and trying your hardest to not show.

“Thanks…” You whisper, trying to maintain yourself. “But you didn't answer my question Roundtree, you know I love every song in this album.”

“Yeah but that guy clearly doesn't know how to appreciate this record, so, I will preserve you from witnessing this atrocity.” He crosses his arms, proud of what he said, you turn your head in confusion.

“You barely had a conversation with him.”

“Why would I want to do that?” He lets out a weak laugh, rolling his eyes. “Get real, sweets!”

“Wait wait wait…” You smile, that afterwards becomes a smirk. “You're jealous!”

“Excuse me?” He says, rolling his eyes.

“You heard me.”

“I am not jealous of you.” He assures you, shrugging.

“So I take it you won't mind if I go over there and dance with him.” You say, moving away from him.

“Not at all.” He assures you once more, and you don't take long to walk away from him sure of his answer.

As you walk into the dance floor, laughter, music, and chatter melded into a lively symphony, and you couldn't help but get caught up in the atmosphere. Gabe's presence was magnetic, drawing people to him effortlessly.

Eddie, on the other hand, watched from a distance, his expression unreadable. The sight of you and Gabe enjoying each other's company seemed to twist a knife of jealousy deep within him. He clenched his fists, his jaw set, as he struggled to keep his emotions in check.

When you join him, he looks surprised to see you on the dance floor, presumably from Eddie's speech a few minutes ago. He smiles when he sees you, holding your hand and moving you to the beat of the music.

Eddie could feel the insecurity and jealousy consuming him little by little, when Rojas walks by his side and whispers “Try to pretend a little, brother” he feels the peak of his stress arrive. Coming towards you with a serious look.

He grabs your hand startling you with his abrupt approach, he spins you around on the dance floor, looking right at Gabe trying to get a message across. You couldn't help but smile at such idiocy that caused you so much delight.

“Okay, maybe I am a little jealous.” He says next to your ear, so you could hear. “But just to be clear, his dancing is an atrocity.”

“He sucks.” You whisper back, Roundtree breaks into a gigantic smile. “I would rather dance with you, a thousand times.” You confess.

“Wait, Is this a declaration of love?” he teases you, bringing his face closer to yours.

“Seriously Roundtree?” You roll your eyes, placing your hands on the back of the bassist's neck. “Just kiss me already!”

As the words left your lips, Eddie needed no further invitation. He closed the distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that carried the weight of unspoken desires and uncharted territory. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the sensation of Eddie's touch and the promise of what lay ahead. You pull him closer, if that's possible, feeling the heaven in this act you both shared.

“Jezz, get a room, you two.” Warren speaks leaning on his and Eddie's shoulder, staring at you until you stop. “Thanks, I don't want these makeouts at my party” He was very stoned, which subconsciously made you laugh.

“Fuck off Warren.” Eddie says, before kissing you again.

...

Hi, I hope you enjoyed it... If you wanted to ask for something my requests are open, and if you want to ask and don't have any ideas check out my prompt list :) xoxo

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[sirxlla]

Bigger Picture

------------------------------------------------

Warnings: Fluff

Prompt: Reading with Tim on the very little time off he has during his "vacation." (aka Art told him to go home and forced him a few days off.)

Notes: female reader, italics are actions and thoughts.

-With that said it's all under the cut-

You ran you hands through Tim's hair as he laid down on the couch with his head in your lap, your fingers in his hair and nails gentle against his scalp earned a few hums of content from those pretty lips of his. He was reading Harry Potter for the first time, he didn't tell everyone but he was an avid reader. Tim always loved to read to decompress after work, it usually pulled his mind away from whatever bullshit he was dealing with.

You had told him to get audible so he could listen to them and he politely declined, a normal book book let him stay alert to his surroundings whereas an audio book didn't. Just general perks of being with someone that was in the military, they have to have the seat facing the door, they have to know where all exits are, checks the doors like three time before bed amongst other things like the way he made the bed, the way he combed his hair, the way he couldn't sleep past six and the nightmares of his time in Iraq.

"I just can't believe Art sent me home, I mean that girl needs my help." There was something about this case that was driving him up the wall and he couldnt pinpoint it.

"Maybe he thinks its cause youre too close. Maybe getting away will help you get a fuller picture." You offered your advice hoping to help calm the irritation in that Texan accent with more than just your hands.

"I feel like fuckin Blue's Clues putting all this shit together on my own then Art pulls me out and crates me." He huffs, clearly chomping at the bit to try to figure out this piece of the puzzle.

"Hey, Blue is cute, you're sexy...Entirely different." A smile graced your lips as you responded, You had spent a lot of time with him and he had encouraged a sharp tounge and quick wit. It hadnt been perfect but you were getting better at it.

"Blue didnt get punished for doing his job." Again another huff left his throat as you looked down at him.

"Art's not gonna be the only one punishing ya if you dont quit huffing, makes me feel like you dont wanna spend time with me." You stated as this was the only time you two had even remotely gotten to chill together or relax in a while.

"I'm sorry, Honey. I'm just stressed over it." His tone changed a bit.

"I don't mind you talking about the case, Baby. Im sorry, I was being selfish." Your tone changed as well, you didnt want him to feel guilty for doing his job like Winona did to Raylan.

"I just dont know why she wont talk to me, she knows its the only way to get her protection." He's still tryna scramble his brain on why this woman wouldnt talk considering she's got no reason in his mind not to.

"Maybe she wants protection for her and someone else? She got a boyfriend, best friend, mom, dad?" You asked trying to be helpful in any way you could and your outside perspective sometimes gave him that aha moment with something he'd overlooked.

"She doesn't really have anyone else. Her Daddy died when she was a kid, her Momma ran off to shithole Indiana and her boyfriend's in the Lexington jail right now for her ratting him out." He leaned his head back into your lap but that was when he noticed a bit about your belly and boobs, they were slightly larger.

"Are you pregnant?" He asks with a bit of wonder and excitement.

"Yeah, I- I was gonna tell you at dinner tonight." Your tone was nervous, tracing his nose gently knowing your kid will look so similar. He eyes flitted back and forth in realization of you but also the case.

"I think you just helped me figure this out! She's afraid that if she says something she'll go to jail and then she can't be a be a mother within prison walls." He grabs his phone and calls Raylan to update him on whats going on. Tim's brain was always slightly on work but thats just what came with dating someone in a profession as such.

You kissed his neck as he chatted with Raylan, teeth gently nipping at his neck which caused Tim to cut his conversation short.

"I gotta go, Raylan. Keep me in the know." He said before he hung up quickly with a mischevious smile on his face.

"Oh, youre getting it now!" He laughs as he picks you up and carries you back to your bedroom whilst you giggle and squeal as he tickles you.

That night was similiar to others to come, his hands on your belly, he did that every night. He was proud of you for being so strong but also so paitent with him, dating any first responder type wasnt easy and his being so much worse cause he was often being shot at in one of these shithole Kentucky hollers. You were all he could ask for, strong, paitent, kind and goddamn gorgeous.

Masterlist <- -> Tim Masterlist

[em1e]

⠀めぐみ // CAUSE FOR CONCERN ⠀ ༝ ༝ yan!megumi fushiguro ⠀ ༝ ༝ 6k words baby ⠀ ⚠︎ modern!au + camp counselor!au + MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH + emotional manipulation ⠀ — itadori thinks counselor (and his best friend) megumi has a crush on you.

you’d like to think the summer was off to a great start. 

you got a new swimsuit, got a farewell bonus from the place you’d been working at since you were fifteen, an acceptance letter to attend a college you were really hoping to get into, and even met some new friends at the orientation for the school! you had everything you needed down to the ‘T’; your transcripts looked divine, some extra college credits under your belt from taking advanced courses in highschool, except . . . 

you didn’t have all the community service hours required to officially guarantee your spot at the school. 

but it’s okay! summer lasts for two months for a reason - your spot will be held until the very last minute, and thankfully one of the friends you’d met at the orientation was in the same boat as you! 

nobara, your savior and self-proclaimed bestie, brought up a camp she’d been going to since she was a kid – jujutsu camp (though she notes how there’s no jujutsu taught there), and now that she’s graduated from high school, she’s able to become a counselor! gives her something to do for the summer, and she gets the community service hours she was missing. win/win. 

she sends you the email to apply, and less than 24 hours later, you’re sending her a screenshot of your acceptance into the counselor biz. 

for the next month and a half, your time is to be devoted to making sure kids aren’t drowning in the big lake at the center of the camp, wandering too far into the surrounding woods, or hurting themselves on the trek up the beautiful mountain for weekly picnics. 

it’s nice and relaxing, more of a vacation than an actual ‘job’, aside from the occasional tummy-ache complaint or the reprimanding to not play with the fire from the pit —- plus, nobara was able to introduce you to some of her friends who were also counselors this year! 

itadori yuji and megumi fushiguro; the three had apparently been inseparable since grade school, joined at the hip and friends for life (despite the many groans and complaints nobara would throw their way about being annoying and smelly). 

the time in the woods is calming, too, aside from the bugs and your irrational (totally rational) fear of the dark when it creeps around, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think camp counselor and naturalist megumi fushiguro might have a growing crush on you. 

at least, that’s what camp counselor itadori whispers to you at the bonfire while helping you set up for the s’mores session before the kids are due to leave. 

he laughs when you shove him away with a roll of your eyes, almost dropping the box of chocolates he’s holding, “i’m serious! i’ve never seen him go outta his way like he does for you.” 

again, you roll your eyes because the words leaving his lips are completely and utterly ridiculous, “name one time he’s gone out of his way for me.” 

he takes a second to think, tapping his chin as if you’d asked him something complex, “when we go on the walks, he always makes sure the two of you are paired together-” 

“because you and nobara hate walking up to the cliff,” you argue with a small laugh. 

“-and he holds the doors open for you anytime, anywhere-” 

“so being nice suddenly equals love interest?” 

“- how about the way he checks you out in your swimsuit?” he grins at the way you flush and shove him again, “or how he’s checkin’ you out now?” 

still, with warm cheeks, you risk a glance behind you and see megumi is in fact staring in your direction, though his cheeks light up red at being caught, looking away hastily to give his attention to a camper who’d been talking to him prior. 

when you look back just as quickly to itadori, he has a shit-eating grin on his face that leaves you throwing the bag of marshmallows in your hands at his face to avoid it, “whatever, still doesn’t disprove the fact that everything else you said was from him being nice.” 

“be in denial all you want,” his grin returns while he opens the bag, popping a marshmallow into his mouth and talking around it, “but i know my friend, and my friend likes you.” 

another roll of your eyes and you snatch the bag from him with a pointed finger, “you are very annoying, has anyone ever told you that?” 

“among other things, like charming, sweet, attractive-”

you pull one of the marshmallows out of the bag and hit him square in the forehead, and while he voices his complaints about you being so very mean, you can’t help but take another risky peek behind you, cheeks warming all over again when you see megumi’s got his eyes back on your form. he doesn’t look away like before, holding your stare until you return to the task at hand – hoping itadori doesn’t pick at you for the way your hands shake. 

by the end of the week, there’s not a single camper still on site; everyone under 18 escorted back home while every counselor remains to clean up the area - the intent to make sure the woods were just as clean as when you arrived in the back of your mind with every piece of trash you pick up and every cabin you clean out. 

it amazes you what some kids leave; there’s a bet going on for who can find the most interesting thing and so far nobara’s in the lead from finding not one, but two retainers, though you’d like to think you’re close to taking that spot after discovering a porno magazine someone left between the mattress and wooden bed frames of the bunkbeds. 

(how the kid got their hands on it, you don’t know, and frankly you don’t care, you’re just glad you found it so you’re at least on the board for strange things). 

“lookie what i found,” you hum out, magazine pinched between your gloved fingers before you toss it onto the picnic table your three new friends have settled around. you rip off one of the gloves and toss it on top of the magazine, letting your open palm hang above it as you wiggle your fingers, “better pay up now, ‘m sure none of you guys will top me.” 

itadori picks the magazine up with the discarded glove, careful to not actually touch any part of the paper, while you stand proud - elated even when you see how his eyes almost light up at the sight. 

he whistles low, letting the booklet drop back down onto the table, and nobara scrunches her nose in distaste, “you didn’t have to drop it on the table. we eat here, y’know?” 

you wave her off and slide in next to megumi while taking off the other glove, ignoring the way itadori’s eyebrows shoot up, no longer interested in the magazine with the potential love drama unfolding in front of his eyes. 

“we’ll wipe down the tables before dinner, i’m sure,” then you bump megumi’s shoulder with your own, “you find anything as cool cleaning out the other boys’ cabins?” 

“hardly,” he rolls his eyes. you can see a light pink dusting his cheeks. itadori leans forward in his seat, “found some abandoned socks and underwear with more holes than i’d like to ever see, though.” 

you laugh, sweet and genuine, “you could’ve used that, would’ve beat itadori’s weird love confession he found in the arts and crafts room that was for you, might i remind.” 

megumi’s cheeks brighten to red while he clicks his tongue, “don’t remind me. i dunno why those fourteen year olds thought it’d be genius to make those.” 

“so there was more than one?” ever the analyst, you pick apart his words with that same teasing smile, “i’d kill to see the others.” 

even with flushed cheeks, he remains unresponsive to your taunts, “three total,” he corrects, “i threw them all away.” 

“not all.” itadori grins, fishing into his pocket and pulling out the folded one he’d submitted as his ‘strange thing’, “‘megumi, i know you’re so much older than me, but you’re so cute. please like me back - check yes or no.’ (y/n) should take some notes.” 

your own cheeks brighten at the sudden jab at you, and while nobara gags and stands to dismiss herself from the area being ‘too cringey’, you’re jumping across the table to swipe at itadori. 

itadori who practically cackles as he makes his escape, narrowly dodging your attacks and slipping from the table before you have a chance to land any blows. 

when he’s too far from your reach, you flick him off and mumble something about how he better sleep with one eye open tonight. although he doesn’t hear what you say, he wiggles his eyebrows at you and megumi, before winking and disappearing towards the lake. 

“he’s annoying.” you comment after a moment, tapping your fingers against the table before you lean forward to prop yourself on your arm, looking at megumi. 

his cheeks have faded back to the soft pink from before, hands in his lap while he picks at his nails, “very, but you get used to it. it’s part of his charm.” 

“among other things,” you mumble almost bitterly, waving away how megumi’s eyebrows raise in question. “don’t worry ‘bout it. can’t believe we’ll be outta here by next week. i think i’ll miss this place.” 

“could always come back next summer,” he shrugs, and the movement makes his shoulder bump with yours, “i think they’re always lookin’ for help.” 

you smile at the invitation, “i’ll have to make sure a month and a half of my summer is free next year.” 

“i’m sure you’ll enjoy the break from classes.” megumi shrugs again, before he stands and gestures to the magazine still on the table, “are you um . . . gonna keep that ‘til the end of the week?” 

you scrunch your nose at the thought, shaking your head as you also stand, “no way. all three of you guys have seen it, so it should be proof enough right? figured i’d just throw it away after i showed it off.” 

megumi hums, picking it up with the glove before tossing it into the nearby garbage can, “sounds fair to me –  don’t expect anyone else to beat you, anyways.” 

you giggle and the sound has megumi looking away quickly, “i should get going, i told nobara i’d help her finish cleaning out the rest of the girls’ cabins.” 

he nods, understanding, “i’ll see you later?”

“for sure.” you promise with a wink, before you’re heading off in search of nobara. 

⠀ ༝ ༝ 

“where the hell is itadori?” nobara groans, practically drooling from the feast laid in front of her. 

the last night of camp and he’s decided to disappear when the senior counselors revealed there’d be a huge bar-b-q as thanks for helping out. 

and they wouldn’t let you start until everyone was accounted for. 

you swat away a mosquito before it can land on you with a frown, “why couldn’t we eat in the mess hall? the bugs are so much worse at night.” another swat in front of you. 

megumi offers the bug spray he’d just put on himself, and you take it with a grateful smile. 

“none of you guys have seen itadori?” gojo, senior counselor and owner (you think?) of the camp asks as he approaches the table. 

“not since this afternoon,” megumi recalls, “we cleaned up by the lake.” 

“i see . . . well,” gojo glances to his side, eyes meeting one of the other senior counselor’s, “this could be a cause for concern.”

your brows furrow at his whispered words, “sorry, concern?” you parrot, “do you think he’s like . . . hurt or something?” 

“i’m sure it’s not anything serious,” he assures, if only to try and calm your nerves, “itadori’s always been a good camper for as long as he’s come here and he’s got good survival instincts-”

“are you saying he needs them right now?” the worry in your voice is palpable, it forces gojo to slide into the picnic table just as senior counselor nanami kento stops at the end beside him. 

“it just means if something has happened to him, he’s better equipped to survive.” gojo explains further, and it does nothing to quell your increasing anxieties. 

“but-but if he’s hurt or something, we should go look for him, shouldn’t we?” 

“in the dark?” nobara protests half-heartedly. you can see she’s worried too, from the way she frowns, how she picks at her nails, “i-i’m sure he’s fine, (y/n), there’s no reason for us to stress when he might just be holed up in his cabin or the bathroom or-” 

“but he’s not,” you argue, gesturing to the two older counselors, “i mean, surely they’ve checked for him there, right? what if he’s hurt and-and afraid and-” 

“hey.” you jump when megumi speaks beside you, from the hand pulling at your own to unclench your first and stop yourself from digging your nails into your palm, “he’s okay, ‘m sure of it.” then he looks at gojo, “do we need to go look for him or something?”

“i think it’d be wise to,” he stands from the table, then looks at nanami, “but we can’t force you guys - ‘specially since it’s dark and risks one of you potentially getting hurt, too.” 

“i’ll go look,” you stand, too, and gojo clicks his tongue. 

“not alone. we use the buddy system, remember?-”

“i’ll go with them.” megumi stands as well, still holding your hand, “should be easier with more eyes, anyways.” 

you almost smile at the gesture, though you’re sure his volunteering is partially because he’s also worried for his best friend. 

“‘kay,” gojo shoves his hands in his pockets, nodding his head to shoko, who claps her hands and announces everyone else can eat, “we’ll get some flashlights and radios for you two and a map of how far you can go.” 

you offer what smile you can muster to nobara, who only returns it with her own hesitation, mumbling a small ‘good luck’ as megumi guides you away by the hand to follow gojo. 

nanami is the one who breaks down the forest to the two of you, explains how to know if you’ve gone too far, and warns, “stay on the trail. especially when you go up the mountain – don’t want you falling down it.” 

gojo passes the two of you flashlights and your own radios, “we’ll check out the left side of the woods, don’t go past the fence line, okay?” 

the question is directed at both of you, but it’s megumi who answers, “we will.” 

nanami and gojo guide you to where the woods become thick, just before the trail splits off to two parts, “keep the radio on channel one and please answer when we ask for responses, or we’ll think we’re looking for three of you instead of just one.” nanami instructs. 

you and megumi nod, looking at them for a second longer before the pair of you follow the trail to the right. 

you’d been walking for maybe fifteen minutes, flashlight beams breaking through the greenery while you call out for itadori and . . . it’s scary. even with megumi at your side, the dark eats away at every part of the world surrounding you that the light can’t touch, and it’s only aiding in increasing your anxiety with the branches that snap under your feet. 

and then you see the mass in the middle of the trail. 

“megumi . . .” blindly, your hand reaches for his, squeezing tightly when you grasp it. 

he turns at the feel of you holding him, beam from his light following the shake of your own until both fall on the lump of clothes. 

“i-is that . . .” you’re whispering, words catching in your throat at the sight. 

he steps forwards, almost protectively in front of you as if it’d prevent you from seeing what your eyes have already taken in, “itadori?” 

you can still see just past megumi, how the lump doesn’t move, “yuji.” he tries again, hesitant steps pausing in front of him. 

your shaking hands reach for the radio tucked into your back pocket, fighting with yourself from how badly you’re trembling, “g-gojo? nanami? w-we um . . . oh my god—we found itadori . . .” 

the radio makes a noise as one of them begins to reply, “where are you guys? is he okay?” 

gojo, you think. your ears are ringing. it’s hard to hear, and you feel bile rising in the back of your throat. megumi nudges itadori with his foot and his body rolls over limply. you turn around before you can see how it settles on the ground. 

“--hello? megumi, (y/n), we need one of you guys to answer. where are you?” 

“the base of the mountain,” megumi’s saying into the radio, an arm wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you to his chest so your face is hidden away, “we’re at the base of the mountain. where the trail breaks off to go up to the cliff.” 

the radio clicks and your gasping for air is the only sound that surrounds you, until megumi’s prying you away from his chest to force you to look at him, “--ook at me, hey. it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.” 

his assurances go in one ear and out the other, but they do well to stop your heart from beating out of your chest, keeping you from the dreadful sight until the flash of gojo and nanami’s lights bristle you out of his grasp. 

“you guys find him like this?” gojo asks and nanami moves closer to the body of your friend.

you feel megumi nod, “i pushed him over with my foot to . . . to see if he was . . . “ 

“the two of you should go back to the cabins,” nanami says, and there’s no room for argument from the way his gaze pierces you, “do not say a word to anyone, not until we talk to the proper authorities.” 

again, megumi nods, and he guides you away from the area on shaky legs, keeping you tucked under his arm as if that’d somehow protect you from what’d seen. 

“look, there’s pieces from those fences at the top of the cliff,” you hear gojo say as you depart, “you think he leaned on it and it just gave way? they are pretty old, rickety.” 

nanami clicks his tongue, “not sure. we’d need the police to investigate.” 

megumi’s grip around you tightens, pulling you closer. 

you can’t find your appetite when you’re back at camp, despite the fact that nobara went out of her way to set aside three plates worth of food. megumi picks at what he can, but is ultimately in the same boat as you after less than five bites, and nobara frowns at how strange the two of you are acting. 

“did you guys find him?” she asks when you’re back in your shared cabin, with the lights off and your back to her in bed. 

“i . . .” you start, closing your eyes before shaking your head from the images that appear behind your eyelids, “i can’t say.” you offer finally with a shuddering exhale. 

as if she understands what you’re implying, she only says a small “oh . . .” 

and the room fills with a silence that neither of you can find it in yourselves to break. 

the next morning, there’s cops teeming all over the campsite, and it’s shoko who pulls you from your cabin, puts you in one of the offices you’d never had the pleasure of going into, with megumi and a cop already waiting for you. 

he makes you recount the events from the night prior, going over every detail multiple times until your hands are shaking and tears well in your eyes and it’s megumi who regards the man with a frown, “we’ve been here for two hours and we’ve told you everything we can. can’t we mourn our friend without you guys pressing us?” 

the cop regards him for a moment before his eyes roam over your form, taking in the tremble of your lip, how you dig your nails into your palms, how the tears that were welling in your eyes spill suddenly over your cheeks, and how you hastily wipe them away with a sniffle. 

he clicks his tongue, but waves his hand towards the door regardless, “you can go. we’ll be in contact if we have any more questions.” 

you’re still fighting tears when megumi walks you to the door of your cabin; it’s almost noon, with the sun high in the sky, and every other younger counselor had been dismissed probably an hour prior, nobara included. you still needed to throw some stuff in your bags to finish packing, but you practically crumble when megumi closes the door behind the two of you. 

 and he holds you gently, so very softly while mumbling over and over how it’s going to be okay – he’s here, everything will be fine. 

⠀ ༝ ༝ 

a terrible accident — the newspapers read, headlining articles written about the horrible incident occurring to a frequent camp goer and dear friend to all. a terrible, horrible, no good accident.  

it leaves you swallowing hard from each news station covering it, flipping through channel after channel until you're forced to settle on a kids show; barely comforted by the familiar characters on screen like you used to be. 

yuji really likes this show, you remember dully. how the two of you got into a heated argument about whether the main character would’ve gotten with his best friend or the very clear love interest (and your personal favorite) that the creators put in place. 

a frown tugs its way onto your lips, turning off the tv and standing at the sound of knocks at the front door. 

when you pull the door open, you find nobara standing behind it, her lip pulled between her teeth and picking at her nails. a nervous habit? 

“hey . . .” she clears her throat, “i um . . wanted to talk to you about something.” 

less than a week later, you, megumi, and nobara meet up for dinner in honor of itadori at nobara’s apartment. you spend the day watching his favorite movies, playing his favorite games, eating his favorite foods . . . it’s bittersweet, a lingering ache in everything you do without him. 

as the night concludes, with the three of you sitting at nobara’s dining room table finishing up a game of uno, she drops the news to megumi. 

“(y/n) and i are gonna attend a school in okinawa.” she says casually, shuffling the cards back into the deck so you can continue drawing for the +8 you’d been saddled with. 

you had seventeen cards now, a stack compared to the six in nobara’s hand and the two in megumi’s. 

he pauses for a second, blinking as he processes the statement before– “uno.” he calls, dropping a +2 to the top and tilting his head, “why okinawa? isn’t that a little far?” 

little is an understatement. just short of a two day trip, and far away from the reminders of your lost friend. a new start, even. something that could aid in preventing from seeing his body laying limply on the earth's floor everytime you close your eyes–

nobara clicks her tongue, drawing the two cards and raises a brow at you as if to ask if you have anything to intercept his potential (inevitable?) win. you can only shake your head. 

“that’s kinda the point,” she says with a sigh, “i wanna get out of tokyo and (y/n) got an acceptance letter from there, too, so we wanna try out the first semester together. see if we like it or not. we’ll be roomies” 

you debate if you should draw an extra few cards to get something to fight off his win; to give you and nobara (mostly nobara) a chance against him. 

“what about your majors? thought tokyo had the best for both of you.” he eyes you with a poker face, taking in how you scrunch your nose in thought. 

“this school has those same programs,” you explain softly, flicking through your cards one more time, “maybe not the best, but they’re good.” 

you reach forward and draw. once, twice, five times, before you pull your very own +4. 

a smile forms on your lips, unable to hide your pleasure in the draw, and place the card atop the others. 

“red.” 

megumi grins at your excitement, but it seems to grow when you take in the fact that he isn’t drawing the four. he wouldn’t. 

he does. 

he flicks his last card onto the pile as he stands. +4. you groan. nobara voices her complaints. the cheap bastard would save a draw card as his last, and she says as much while he packs away what items he’d brought over. 

unfair, you think with a scrunch of your nose, and slimy. 

megumi walks you home after the game, hands stuffed in his pockets and slouched from carrying both of your bags, despite your protests in being more than capable of carrying your own. the two of you had gotten . . . closer, through the tragedy. he checked on you more often than not, would come over to your house when you wouldn't reply to make sure you were out of bed at a decent time. it was sweet, in a way. 

“so, you guys are really gonna go to okinawa?” he asks to break the comfortable silence that formed between the two of you. 

“mhm,” you nod, skipping over a crack in the sidewalk freely without the weight of your bag holding you down, “nobara came to my house the other day and we had a long, teary convo about it.” 

“just gonna leave me behind, huh?” 

though you’re not facing him, you can hear the way he’s almost pouting, and when you do spin on your heel, there’s a smile teasing its way on your lips, “you could come with,” you offer, “we can get an apartment off campus together, do cute picnics after class. the whole shebang.” 

“but we could do that here,” he argues, “dunno why you guys have to go so far.” 

you frown, steps slowing to a stop in front of him, “i don’t really know nobara’s reasoning, but . . i can’t stay here and pretend like we didn’t see him like that, ‘gumi.” 

he pauses when you do, towering in front of you despite still slouching, “but you have me here.” 

you look away from the sadness creeping on the edge of his voice, guilt eating at you, “i-i know, and i’m happy i do, i just . . i think we need a new start, or at least some time away from here?” 

away from you is all he hears, and the comfortable silence breaks into awkward tension when his frown only grows. 

“don’t look so down,” you nudge his shoulder softly, offering a small smile in hopes of him returning it. he doesn’t, “it’s not like we won’t come back here, or won’t make plans to visit.” 

he swallows hard and nods, taking the first step forward to continue the trek to the train station. 

the tension remains as you board the train, as you sit in one of the unfilled chairs with megumi looming in front of you, holding onto the railing to keep himself steady standing and almost protectively in front of you with the bustling of people getting on and off. 

and it builds until he stops at your door, offering your bag to you and pausing when your fingers brush against his own. 

his hand twitches at the contact, and you open your mouth to say your thanks for walking with you even though his own home is in the opposite direction, a completely different train ride away, but he grabs your wrist and pulls you down from the stoop you’re standing on, pressing his lips to your own gently. 

your eyes widen a moment, before they flutter closed, letting your bag fall between the two of you to cup his cheeks. 

it’s sweet, soft, and leaves you chasing after him when he pulls away, but he puts his hands on your hips to keep you in place. you brush your thumbs across the tops of his cheeks, head tilting at what this could possibly imply. did he really like you? like how itadori said? 

“everything’ll work out.” he says as he leans down to grab your bag, pressing the strap into your now open palm. he gives another quick kiss, one you don’t have a chance to return, before he walks towards the station without looking back. 

⠀ ༝ ༝ 

it’d been almost four days of nobara not returning your calls or texts. she needed space, maybe, sure, time to process other emotions and fully take in the decision to move so far away, but not showing to the lunch date the two of you had been so excited planning? that stung. 

you give her the benefit of doubt, still, after waiting two hours at the diner and getting looks of pity from the waitress who you think suspects you’ve been stood up on a date. you pay your bill (though you’re given a discount, a small sorry it didn’t work out written on the receipt with a frown), and take the train to nobara’s apartment. maybe she’s just been feeling sick. 

you knock on the door, wait all of five minutes, and stomp your foot childishly when there’s no answer. a call to her phone, and you can hear it ring somewhere close to the door. obviously she’s been up and moving, if it’s just been left in the kitchen or maybe the dining room? but it rings out and you frown at the thought of her ignoring you. had you done something wrong? another knock before you try the handle and — 

to your surprise, it opens. 

weird. sure, her neighborhood is safer compared to most, but she’s living alone; you’d have to warn her about locking the door. 

you push the door open and peek inside, greeted immediately with the confirmation of her phone sitting on the kitchen counter, along with what you can assume is last night's dinner still on the stove and the dirty dishes that came with making it. 

again, weird, because if spending a month plus with nobara taught you anything, it’s that she’s a neat-freak who flipped out when you accidentally left your dirty clothes on the floor of the cabin. 

“nobara?” you call out. there’s a pit forming in your stomach, incoming dread looming around you that doesn't go away with each step you take into the apartment, with each call unanswered. 

the tv’s still on in her bedroom. you can hear it playing the theme of a show she was telling you about – insisting you needed to watch it, but you could barely make it past the first episode. 

“nobara.” you call out again, tiptoeing down the hall until you stop at her door, barely open. it’s dark in her room, the light from the hall spilling in from the crack. still, no response. 

you knock on the door as if that’d create a reason for conversation, “are you mad at me or something?” 

the impact of your fist pushes the door open further and you sigh, closing your eyes before ultimately deciding to force it open the rest of the way. 

there’s a lump of blankets on the bed that leaves you blinking back tears at the familiarity of the situation. but you’re not in the woods, you’re not fighting off bile rising in your throat, it’s fine. you reach for the light, flicking the switch one. 

“nobara? you feelin’ okay?” 

a hesitant step closes the distance between you and her. still nothing. 

“this isn’t funny . . “ you mumble, pulling off the covers and stumbling backwards at the sight. 

puke pools around her on the mattress, and she’s so fucking pale under the yellow light overhead.  a bottle of pills lies scattered on its side, a handful spilling out, and you can only guess where the rest are. 

you gag, slapping a hand over your mouth, forcing whatever wants to come out back down to turn on your heel and bolt out of the room to call the cops or the paramedics or the fucking firefighters, if they think there’d be a chance of reviving her. 

they can’t. the cops told you as much when they arrived on scene before they took her away in a bodybag, and you’re practically inconsolable when you reach the police station. 

a suicide, they’d ruled it from the pills and the note left on her computer. 

something about not being able to bear the idea of living without her friend, the stress of the world being too much . . you weren’t paying attention to the details when they’d read it aloud to you and you don’t think you could stomach reading it on your own. 

you text megumi through tears what happened after an officer drives you home, and he’s at your house holding you while you sob in less than twenty minutes (which is amazing in itself when the trains usually take 30 minutes to run on a good day). 

he orders take out that you can’t find the idea of eating appealing, but he ends up putting the leftovers (the entire order, really) in the fridge. when he sits back on the couch, he pulls you into his side with a kiss to your hair and a frown. 

“don’t have to worry ‘bout her,” he mumbles, “‘m sure she went peacefully . .  the drugs probably numbed her.” 

you close your eyes as he speaks with a sniffle. he’s probably right, you think, the cops mentioned something similar as a way to maybe make you feel better about the whole situation. it didn’t . . but how would megumi know about the drugs? 

you sit up slightly, pushing yourself out from under his arm with furrowed brows, and his own raise in question at your sudden movement. 

“what’s wrong?” 

you only eye him, flitting over his features, to the hand that was wrapped around your shoulder and now dropped to your thighs limply. he tilts his head. you didn’t say a peep about the details –  even recounting it with the cops threw you down a spiral, so how the hell would he know something like that? 

as if he read your mind, the hand at your thigh moves to cup your cheek. it’s affectionate, despite the way you flinch back, how his brows drop back to his neutral expression. unreadable. 

“said too much, didn’t i?” 

he leans forward in the same space that has you leaning away, until you’re backed into the cushions of the couch with nowhere else to go. the hand on your cheek moves to squish the pair of them together until your lips form a pout, his body hovering over your own. 

“‘gumi?” the nickname slips out, and he laughs when your own fingers wrap around his wrist to try and pry him off. 

“too smart,” he chastises, “should’ve remembered to be more careful.” 

“megumi.” you try again, a sob breaking free from your chest, “you’re scaring me.” 

“don’t worry,” he shushes with a squeeze to your cheeks, reaching into his pocket when you offer no resistance, “everything’ll work out.” 

something sharp stabs into your arm. you cry out at the feeling, trying to wiggle your way out from under him, but his weight holds you down and fuck your head is feeling really heavy now. he puts whatever was in his hand onto the coffee table, and through blurry vision you can barely make out a syringe. 

your vision goes black shortly after. 

[kachikirby]

Romantic Season

Story for Valentine's Day! Hope you all enjoy!

-

]After a half-hour trip in a star ship, Meta Knight stepped out onto the planet Patlantic with a small bag in hand. He adjusted the brim of his fedora and sunglasses in response to the sudden amount of sunlight.

“Well, we made it, Fetty.”

His wife, Fettuccine, exited the ship, nicely dressed in a blue dress for the occasion. “Oh, it’s as beautiful as I heard!”

This was the city of Pavega, one of the major vacation destinations in the galaxy. There were many restaurants, shops, casinos, and even a massive, picturesque boardwalk and beach that made it so popular. However, the place they were going to be staying at was one of the most luxurious in the city, Sparkling Seas Beach and Resort. The blue puff turned to Fettuccine.

“Would you like me to take your bag?” He asked, only to be picked up by her.

“No, this is my gift to you, so you should relax and enjoy.” She then took a deep breath, enjoying the ocean air. “Well, this sure beats handmade chocolate, doesn’t it?” She giggled.

“Anything from you is enough of a gift for me.” Meta replied in such a matter-of-fact manner that Fettuccine nearly stumbled due to how flustered she was by that response.

“…silly bat.” She mumbled, getting only a smile in response.

*          *          *

After getting checked in, the two went to their hotel room, which Meta was even more surprised, being a massive blue-themed suite with a king-sized bed, stellar views of the beach below, and even a giant hot tub in the room.

“Fetty, how expensive was this? I think I’ll have a hard time returning this three times the value on White Day…” Meta uttered, removing his sunglasses before examining the gift basket that sat on the massive bed.

“I’m not telling!” She giggled. “Besides, I rather you not worry about the price! My Metty only deserves the best!”

He couldn’t help but blush in response to that. “I… feel the same way about you…” He uttered, adverting his gaze slightly as he opened the fridge. He looked in it to see an all too familiar dish of chocolate fondant in a time capsule case.

“…now I know who helped pay for this.” He uttered, quickly reading the attached note from his mother, Kurabe. Before he could say anything else, he felt himself being picked up by Fettuccine, who then hopped onto the bed, holding him tightly as they locked eyes with each other.

“So, what do you think?” Fettuccine asked.

“Well… um… it’s amazing… I’m kind of overwhelmed by how big and luxurious it is…” He spoke a bit awkwardly, sounding slightly nervous. Of course, he wasn’t a big fan of flashy events or places. Only flashy battles. His wife seemed to frown a bit, showing signs that she was slightly afraid that he didn’t like it.

“I do like it though. It’s just a bit more upscale than what I’m used to…” He added, causing her worries to wash away. “Besides, I think it’s been a while since we’ve gone on a vacation as a couple… I hope Vul can handle Sieg and Freya…”

“They’re good kids. He’ll be fine.” His wife said before once more holding him close. “But for now, let’s focus on each other.”

“Yes, I know. It’s not just Valentine’s Day, but the anniversary of when we first started dating…”

Meta remembered that day well. It started with Kirby coming to him about his feelings for Ribbon and it led to him being forced to confront his own feelings about Fettuccine, how he often thought of them living together, how he had started to think about her more and more since Task Force Zetta first came to Dream Land. How he was dragged in the middle of the night to the VictoriousArc to speak to her about them, leading to him finally being able to tell her “I love you” with the same feelings she held for him. How it led to their relationship rekindling, dating, getting married, and now having children of their own.

As he was lost in his thoughts he felt the taste of cocoa enter his mouth and looked down to see Fettuccine’s finger.

“I did also make chocolate for you. It’s just a bonus on top of this vacation.”

Meta couldn’t help but smile at her. The woman he grew to love so dearly. He place a hand on her cheek.

“Fetty, I love you so much.”

His wife smiled and gave him a gentle kiss. “I love you too, Metty.”

[fics-by-em]

Amorous Facades - Chapter Eleven

A wild night out leaves the lives of Jamie Tartt and Ophelia Adams more intertwined than they ever would have imagined.

Will their decision to try and use the situation to their advantage work out in their favour or will they realize that they should have cut their losses when they had the chance?

———-

previous chapter

———-

Note: I know this chapter is a little bit late, but unfortunately that might be happening a bit more for the next little while… I have a really busy couple of weeks ahead and then I'm going on vacation for two weeks where I'll have no access to my laptop to write or post anything. Then in September I'm starting a new job. I'm still hoping to update regularly, but the once a week schedule might not be possible. I hope you can all stick with me though because I do have lots more planned for this story!

———-

During their first few days as an official couple, Lia saw less of Jamie than she had every other week since they met. When he left early the morning after their date and didn’t come home until well after dinner, she couldn’t help but let her anxiety get the best of her as she worried that he’d changed his mind or decided that convincing her to agree to be his girlfriend was enough for him to claim victory and he no longer cared now that the chase was over. The hours she’d spent alone that evening after she got home from work gave her enough time to spiral into her own thoughts until she’d worked up the courage to confront him almost as soon as he walked through the door.

She’d immediately blurted out her concerns and while Jamie was shocked at first, a smile slid onto his face once he’d managed to process her words. That only annoyed Lia even further - as she assumed he was making a joke of the whole situation - but he’d quickly put her mind at ease. He apologized for the lack of contact through the day and he explained that their final match of the season was coming up that weekend. It was very important that they won if they wanted to be promoted which meant that the team would be spending the rest of the week training hard for long days. That information simultaneously had Lia feeling relieved and embarrassed as she mumbled out an apology for her reaction and suggested they work on their communication.

Despite the smug smile on his face, Jamie had agreed and spent the rest of the evening teasing her about being so clingy, but from then on he’d made more of an effort to check in throughout the day. She appreciated his willingness to listen to her concerns and by the end of the week she was feeling much more confident in her decision to give Jamie a chance. He really was working hard to prove his dedication to her and she was powerless to resist his charm.

However, when the day of Richmond’s final match of the season came around, Lia found herself feeling nervous again. Jamie had left mid-morning to get in a warm-up with the team before the match started as usual on game day which left Lia to show up at Nelson Road alone, wondering what kind of reception she would receive. She walked slowly through the hallways as if she could delay the inevitable rejection, but it still didn’t take her long to find herself standing outside the door to Rebecca’s office and she took a deep breath to steady herself before knocking on the door.

“Come in!”

It was Rebecca’s voice that called out to her and she accepted the invitation to poke her head around the door to see her sitting on the couch with Keeley as she’d expected.

“Hi,” Lia smiled, relaxing slightly when they didn’t immediately recoil at the sight of her. “I know it’s short notice, but I was hoping I could sit with you two at the match today.”

“Yeah, of course, babe,” Keeley nodded, her enthusiasm putting her even more at ease. “Do you want some champagne?”

She held up her glass as if to demonstrate and Lia accepted the offer as she moved to sit beside her. She was trying to think of a way to bring up the elephant in the room as Keeley poured her a drink, but Rebecca beat her to it.

“So,” she started. “How’re things with Jamie?”

Considering she hadn’t talked to Keeley at all since Jamie’s confession and wasn’t entirely sure how she was feeling, Lia answered somewhat trepidatiously.

“Things are actually really good,” she admitted. “We’ve decided to give it a shot and try being in an actual relationship, not just a pretend one.”

“Oh my god,” Keeley squealed as she handed Lia a glass of champagne. “That’s amazing! I was so worried that Jamie had messed it up all by saying what he said, but he really didn’t mean it. I know Jamie and I know he didn’t, he’s just more emotional than people think and the funeral got the best of him.”

“That’s what he said and it’s been kinda hard to blindly trust him, but we went on a date a few days ago and he really put in some effort. It was nice.”

“That’s so exciting,” Keeley gushed. “And I promise there’s nothing between us now. I was so worried you wouldn’t wanna be friends anymore after what he said so I’m really glad you showed up today!”

“Me too,” Lia smiled. “I didn’t want things to be awkward and I believe that things are over between you, but I just worry that Jamie’s just desperate for affection from anyone, not necessarily from me.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Keeley rushed to assure her. “He’s different with you. He cares about you, I can see it.”

“It always seemed like more than just an act to me too,” Rebecca mused. “But tell us about this date? Where did you go?”

Lia felt her smile widen and she tried to control her enthusiasm as she launched into an explanation, grateful to finally get some womanly insight into the situation. She told them about the flowers, about the board game pub, the walk home and the little boy in the ice cream parlour. The way they ‘ooh’d and ‘awwe’d at all the right moments brought her some comfort as she still couldn’t help but feel like she’d maybe been won over a little too easily, but Keeley’s response when she was done telling her tale only strengthened her belief that giving Jamie a chance was the right choice.

“Wow, that is way more romantic than anything he ever did for me,” Keeley informed her. “He’s smitten, babe.”

“I didn’t think he had it in him,” Rebecca agreed. “But obviously he just needed to find the right person and it would seem that person is you.”

“You think so? I can’t shake the feeling that he’ll toss me aside once he’s had his fun.”

“Why on earth would you think that?”

The question came from Rebecca - her shock clear in her voice - but Lia simply shrugged.

“Because he’s Jamie Tartt and I’m just me, a dork who works in a bookstore. I don’t want him to get bored once the chase is over.”

“But you’re not boring,” Keeley assured her. “You’re fun and so sweet, Jamie is lucky to have you.”

“You think so?”

Lia cringed, knowing that low self-esteem wasn’t a particularly endearing thing, but she hoped that they would know it was a sincere question and not just a way for her to fish for compliments.

“Absolutely,” Rebecca nodded. “And from what I can see, you’re both good for each other. You definitely bring out the good in him.”

Lia felt practically giddy from their reassurance and hid her smile behind her glass of champagne as she mumbled out a ‘thank you’ before taking a sip and switching the conversation back onto Rebecca to get caught up on the gossip of her own slightly messy love life.

——

The match was a rollercoaster of emotions and Lia wondered if they always would be now that she found herself rather invested in one of the players. The first half had things looking pretty bleak and while Lia knew it wasn’t over until it was over, she was bracing herself to spend the rest of her evening trying to comfort Jamie and help him through the loss.

However, those worries vanished from her mind shortly after the second half of the match started.

It was like Richmond were a different team and they quickly picked up the slack from the first half. It was tense and exciting, but they pulled it together enough to force a tie which was all they needed to get promoted. The girls leapt to their feet the moment the match was officially over, squealing and hugging with an enthusiasm that Lia never imagined she would feel about a sporting event before she met Jamie. The team and coaches all flooded onto the pitch as they celebrated with the roaring cheers from the crowd reaching almost deafening levels and despite the newness and instability of their relationship, Lia felt a pull towards Jamie that truly surprised her.

It was like she physically needed to be near him. She could see him on the pitch being embraced by his teammates and she craved the opportunity to do the same. The pride she felt swelling in her chest took her breath away and when the boys all jumped and ran off the pitch and Keeley suggested they head down to the locker room, Lia practically bolted for the door of the box they were sitting in. She paused briefly enough to congratulate Rebecca on her team’s win, but then she darted out into the hallway with Keeley hot on her heels.

The sound of exuberant chants echoed down the halls as soon as they got down to the main floor and Lia let out a joyful giggle as Keeley swung open the door, calling out to the team as she did. Their presence seemed to heighten the already rampant celebrations as the team let out a cheer at their arrival, but Lia was more focused on her search through the crowd for Jamie. 

When her eyes finally landed on him, she felt her heart swell.

He looked relieved. He looked joyous. He looked on top of the world. And combined with his dishevelled post-match appearance, the look of success was incredibly sexy on him.

She couldn’t resist winding her way through the group until she was by his side and finally able to wrap her arms around him, finding the feel of him just as intoxicating as the sight. His strong muscles, clinging to his shirt that was damp with sweat. The deep, manly scent of his body after such an intense workout. The way he squeezed her so tight she wondered if he was ever going to let her go. It all had such a strong wave of emotion washing over her that she couldn’t stop herself from stretching up to capture his lips in a kiss.

There was a shyness to it - a moment of hesitance before she found the courage to slide her hand to the back of his neck and encourage him to dip his head - but Lia knew it was unnecessary. As far as the rest of the team was concerned, their PDA was old news. They’d been showing affection in front of the group for weeks, but it felt different now that what they had was real. The moment felt more intimate now that it wasn’t simply for show and Lia felt her cheeks growing hot as she pulled away.

“Congratulations, Jamie, you were amazing.”

“Nah, wasn’t me really,” Jamie shrugged. “Dani’s goal really sealed the deal.”

“But you let him take the shot,” she pointed out. “It was a team effort and you’ve really become a team player.”

“Thanks, babe.”

A lazy smile slid onto Jamie’s face that was so endearing that Lia found herself once again drawn to stretch up and connect their lips, but she was relieved to find that Jamie seemed to be as desperate for connection with her as she was with him as when she tried to slip out of his grasp, he tightened his arm around her waist to stop her from moving too far away.

There was a tension between them that was undeniable. It simmered through the after party in the locker room and seemed to grow with every casual touch or lingering glance. Lia felt absolutely smitten with Jamie. Seeing him in his element, celebrating after a win, bonding with the team that he’d been working so hard to prove himself too. The atmosphere amongst the group was electric and Lia was grateful to be a part of it, even more so now that she wasn’t just pretending. 

And as Jamie’s touches grew bolder, she felt it was safe to assume that he was feeling the same way about her. His hand drifting down to squeeze her bum when no one was looking, letting his thumb slip under her shirt to stroke at the skin of her lower back when his arm was settled around her waist, the way he kept leaning in close to whisper things in her ear even when such closeness wasn’t really necessary almost as if he was just looking for an excuse to let his breath wash over her skin. There was no way that Jamie couldn’t feel the spark crackling between them and crawling up his spine the way that she could.

And so - if Jamie was intent on driving her wild - she decided to return the favour.

Being seductive or flirtatiously teasing wasn’t her forte, but the beer that she was sipping on helped her find a little inspiration - both due to its contents and design. She was deep in conversation with Isaac - the team Captain - and Colin - one of his teammates - when the alcohol she’d been sipping and the burn of Jamie’s gaze on her helped the idea take shape in her mind. Nodding along to what Isaac was saying as he told her some in depth information about a play they’d been practicing, she glanced over at Jamie and made eye contact as she deliberately let the neck of the bottle rest between her lips for just a moment longer than necessary, sucking gently in a way that she hoped would be at least somewhat suggestive. She saw Jamie’s jaw clench as he watched her and she bit back a smile as she turned her attention back to the men she was talking to, but it didn’t take long for her to feel an arm slide around her waist and she didn’t even need to glance up to know that it was Jamie.

For the rest of the post-game celebration, Jamie didn’t let her out of his grasp and Lia was more than happy to stay cuddled up against his side. When the team started discussing where to move the party and which club to take the celebrations to, she was relieved when Jamie turned down the invitation and suggested that they just head home. She eagerly agreed, but was surprised that when they got into the taxi to go home, Jamie became more withdrawn. The affection that he’d been lavishing on her all night was gone as he sat on the far side of the car, focusing his gaze out the window. It was reminiscent of how they’d been when their relationship was just an act and it was a stark contrast to the way he’d been all evening.

She tried not to let her anxiety bubble to the surface and get the best of her - assuming instead that perhaps he was just tired as the adrenaline of the match started to fade away rather than that he wasn’t truly interested in her - but she was still buzzing from the way they’d been teasing each other all night. Desperate for some kind of physical touch, she reached out to take his hand and was relieved when he turned his head to flash her a smile before interlacing their fingers.

It was sometime during their drive home that Lia started formulating another idea - one that was only emboldened by the fact that Jamie announced that he was in dire need of a shower almost as soon as they walked through the door.

���—

Jamie had barely been in the shower for five minutes when he heard a knock at the door before it slowly cracked open.

“Jamie? Can I come in?”

The question was tentative and only added to Jamie’s confusion. In all the time they’d lived together, neither of them had dared to enter the bathroom while the other one was showering. The glass door left nothing to the imagination and as soon as she entered the bathroom he would be fully exposed to her. It was a thought made his cock twitch despite his concern about her urgent need to talk to him. 

“Course you can,” he called back. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she squeaked as she poked her head around the door. He noted with pride that her eyes widened at the sight of him, but the next words out of her mouth left him the one feeling stunned. “I was just wondering if I could join you?”

He stared in disbelief as she shrugged the bathrobe that she’d changed into off of her shoulders and stood before him completely naked. 

“Fuckin’ hell,” he groaned. “How could I say no to that?”

After the weeks of self-restraint, he felt himself begin to stiffen just from letting his eyes roam over her body, admiring her pert breasts and soft curves that he’d been fantasizing about for so long as her cheeks flushed a deep red and she open the door that separated them. When she moved under the water to let her hands trace over his damp chest, he grew thick and heavy as his cock strained for some of her attention. He was almost scared to move or even breathe in case it snapped her out of whatever trance she’d fallen into, but as she bit her lip and mumbled out a soft yet appreciative ‘wow, Jamie’, he couldn’t help but question her.

“What’s all this about?” He asked softly, hoping he didn’t sound in any way ungrateful. “I thought you wanted to take things slow.”

“I do,” she admitted. “But I thought you deserved a little appreciation after your performance today. You were so good, Jamie. It was so amazing to watch you.”

Her words came out like a purr and the thick honey tone was all his cock needed to swell to its full potential, but he tried to stay focused as he made sure she was serious about the situation.

“S’just the job,” he choked out. “It’s nothing special.”

“It was special,” she insisted. “You were incredible. I was so proud to be wearing your jersey, for everyone in the crowd to be thinking that I’m your wife.”

The praise sent shivers down his spine as he flushed at her words, but the request that came next almost short-circuited his brain.

“Can I touch you?”

“Yes! Fuck, Lia, please.”

He answered immediately, feeling his desperation climbing quicker than he was used to. But then again, he wasn’t used to being celibate for as long as he had been and a release with someone other than his hand was very much needed. He knew that he was very close to sounding like he was begging - something he wasn’t particularly used to doing in bed - but in that moment he would have promised her anything to get her hands to slide down his stomach the way that they were. When she took him in her hand, he couldn’t hold back the moan that slid from his lips and he kept his eyes from fluttering shut just long enough to see her peering up at her from under her long eyelashes with wide eyes.

“You’re so big…” He knew he was at least a little bit above average, but the awe and delight in her voice had a wave of pride washing over him. She had an air of innocence about her despite the bold way she’d come onto him and he was finding it hard to hold himself back. However, he didn’t have to struggle with his restraint for long before she sank to her knees, staring at his cock with a hungry look in her eyes. “I can’t wait to taste you…”

She looked up at him, almost as if she was waiting for permission, but he didn’t trust his voice not to crack so he simply nodded. That was all the encouragement she needed as she eagerly took him into her mouth earning a hiss of pleasure from Jamie as his head tipped back into the warm stream of the shower. He’d had a few doubts about the level of experience that Lia had, but it was soon obvious that he had nothing to worry about because if she was unpracticed then she was a natural talent.

The warmth, the pressure, the pace that she set. It was like she knew exactly what he needed even before he did. She took him deep, gagging slightly in a way that was another little boost to his ego, but his chivalrous side came out as he let one hand slide to her the back of her head to help steady her movements and keep her comfortable. He was careful to keep his grip loose - more to guide than to control - as she clearly needed very little help from him.

He watched completely entranced as she hollowed her cheeks, sucking him so enthusiastically that it was like she was honoured to do it. As her hand drifted from his thigh to gently cup and tease his balls, an obscene sound left his mouth and he felt himself quickly heading towards a peak. He knew it hadn’t taken long and usually he would have been feeling a little more sheepish about his lack of control, but he was too wrapped up in his pleasure to care.

“Babe,” he choked out, knowing he needed to warn her before he was too far gone to form any words. “I’m close.”

The only indication that she’d heard was a slight increase of her tempo and as he felt her tongue drag pointedly along the vein on the underside of his cock, Jamie was lost in his pleasure to repeat himself. His fist clenched as his other hand tightened its grip on Lia’s hair and he resisted the urge to buck into her mouth, letting out a strangled cry as the rush of his release washed over him.

His knees felt weak as his heart raced in his chest, but even when Lia pulled away to swallow, she used her hand to gently stroke him until he came back down from his high. And once his mind began to clear, he reached down to offer her a hand and help her back to her feet.

“Fuckin’ hell, babe,” he murmured. “Where did that come from?”

“You deserved it,” she smiled. “Was it okay?”

“Okay? You were fucking amazing,” he assured her. “Didn’t expect you to be so bold.”

She blushed so hard that even her chest was flushed and a glimmer of the more trepidatious girl he was used to reappeared.

“I can be bold when I need to be.”

Based on what he’d seen so far, Jamie had no argument to that claim. There was obviously far more to Lia than he’d expected and he was excited to peel back even more of her layers.

“Yeah? Well, so can I,” he informed her. “How about we get out of this shower and I can return the favour?”

She bit her lip as his words made her shiver against him, but to his surprise she shook her head.

“No, it’s okay,” she assured him. “Tonight was about you.”

“You don’t want me to? It should be about both of us. You were just saying what a team player I am.”

His words were said with a smirk and he felt Lia giggle as she leaned her head against his chest.

“You are, but I didn’t expect any reciprocation. I just wanted to do something special for you.”

“Touching you would be pretty special too.” He slid his hand down to cup the cheek of her bum, revelling in the feel of her smooth skin and noting the way she turned her body slightly when he gave it a little squeeze, almost as if she was opening herself up to him. “But you didn’t answer my question. Do you want me to?”

She whimpered in response as Jamie let his hand drift over the curve of her hip, but he waited and simply rubbed his thumb against her skin until she gave him proper confirmation.

“Yes…”

It was a short response, but it was almost as desperate as Jamie's earlier plea and after her efforts to bring him pleasure, Jamie wasn’t going to make her ask twice.

Sliding his hand lower, he was somewhat surprised to find that the skin between her legs was bare. It was a detail that escaped his notice when she’d first dropped her robe, but now his mind had been cleared by his release, it caught his attention and he shelved the thought for another time to avoid embarrassing her or doing anything that might cause her to make him stop his exploration. Instead, he stayed quiet as his hand dipped lower until she parted her legs to grant him more access and the wetness he found between them had another groan falling from his lips.

“Fuck, babe, you’re soaked,” he informed her, as if she might be unaware. “Is this all for me?”

He stroked her gently, letting his fingers trail just beside the sensitive bud that he knew would be desperate for his attention as she murmured out a soft ‘mhmm’. He could feel her hand gripping his bicep as he watched her eyes drift shut and a moan slipped from her lips as he let a finger dip gently inside her. She was tight and the thought of the muscles that were gripping his finger being wrapped around his cock was almost enough to have him twitching back to life, but he kept his focus on her as he paid attention to the movements that earned him coos of pleasure or gasps of encouragement. It wasn’t long before he added another finger to his explorations, enjoying the way she stretched around him as his thumb came to settle finally on the bundle of nerves he’d been carefully avoiding. The sound she made at the contact was one of pure bliss and had Jamie feeling desperate to see her fall apart under his touch.

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty like this,” he groaned. “Let go for me, baby. Wanna see you cum, wanna feel it.”

His encouragement had her whimpering again, but he could tell from the quick rise and fall of her chest and the way her nails were digging into his skin that she was close. He kept his movements steady and it only took a few more moments for her to come undone, letting out a moan that sent shivers down his spine as he felt her clench around him. He coaxed her through it until she was quivering him against him when he slowly moved his hand away.

She clung to him, but as her breathing steadied and he felt her heartbeat slow in her chest, he realized the water washing over them was starting to get cold.

“Let’s get out of here.”

The words were murmured into her hair and he felt her nod as she stumbled away from him as if she was in a daze. He smirked, knowing that if she was shaken now she would be absolutely wrecked when he was able to really take his time with her, but he also knew that she seemed sincere when she insisted that she still wanted to take things slow. Considering she’d just given him far more than he’d expected to get anytime soon, he was more than happy to respect her wishes and he turned off the water before grabbing a towel and following her out of the bathroom, eager not to let her too far out of his sight.

-----

chapter twelve

[jmkho]

The One Where They Go On A Disney Cruise

Summary: Sammy booked a nice sea voyage vacation for the boys….

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: swearing, drinking, cruise ships, stuck on a vessel with these 4 in the middle of the ocean, not enough research done of cruises

Note: THIS IS FOR THE ANON 👤 THAT REQ THIS YONKS AGO!! I'm so sorry it's taken me a long ass time but health problems & just reaaaalllly not in the mood to write, got the best of me 🙏❤️

————————-

The boys were all smiles as they hauled their luggage up the ramp to board the ship. Danny had been meaning to comment on the size of one of Sammy’s bags as he kept moaning it was, ‘fucking heavy’ but got distracted to try and keep the guys all in check at the airport.

“Sammy, dude. What the fuck did you pack in that?” Danny asked as the bassist walked in front of him up the ramp, leading everyone onto the vessel as he struggled with his two bags and fanny pack.

“Shoes.” He simply replied seriously. Danny didn’t know if he was joking or being serious but he also couldn’t even say anything to that because Josh and Jake were shoving themselves into the back of him trying to make him walk quicker.

“Quit it!” Josh yelled out behind him to his excited twin.

“DID YOU KNOW THEY DO PIRATE NIGHT?”

Sam grinned to himself. He purposely booked their vacation when the woman told him it had been cancelled for an unknown circumstance but it was available on other cruise ships. Just to fuck with him. “Might not witness that while we’re on this buddy.”

Jake’s smile fell. “What? Why?” That had to be bullshit. Sam was fucking with him surely. Pirate night was held on every third night of the cruise! It was a STAPLE in Disney Cruises!

They all made it onto the cruise ship. The grand exterior of the main lobby was insane. Josh had his head looking right up at the ceiling of the massive ship as if he was looking at stars.

Sam pushed his sunglasses onto his head and turned to his older brother. “It’s pirate night 365 days for you anyway! So what difference does it make?”

Jake pouted a little.

“Besides, we came here to relax, chill, and drink.”

Danny snorted. “Isn’t that you 365 days of the year?” Sam ignored him but Jake grinned at the taller man for sticking up for him.

“Did you know that Disney Cruise ships have never had one that-“ Josh began but Danny held up his hand. “Nope. None of that. Hearing about every fucking ride and it’s faults was enough. Nothing about cruise ships please.”

Josh’s face fell to match his twins previous expression.

“I tried to book us a room each but, I thought let’s share and save money so we can spend it on other stuff.” Sam declared. “Me and Daniel-“

“Daniel and I” Jake corrected him.

Sam’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t grammar check me. Just because you use the longest words in existence when you post something."

Jake let out a deep sigh. They’ll never let him live that down. He just wanted a nice wordsy post not the usual boring stuff. He wanted something fancy.

“Daniel and I…..” He widened his eyes as he looked at Jake. “Will be sharing a room-“

“Why can’t I share with Daniel?” Jake asked.

“Yeah, why do Jake and I have to share?” Josh piped up.

Sam closed his eyes. “Because, if I shared with any of you on this thing I think I’d actually murder someone. Besides, you two communicate in that….” He started wiggling his finger at them as he thought of what to say. “That….non-verbal way you do. With the looks and the hand gestures. Perfect. Also you two love being together and would probably moan about not being together if I did split you up! ”

Jake and Josh looked at one another and then nodded. Yeah.

They grabbed their bags and trudged off to their room after check in. It took a little longer because Jake was asking if there were any themed rooms on the cruise ship.

There were

He then asked if there were any pirate themed rooms.

There weren’t.

Jake was bewildered. No pirate theme rooms on a SHIP?! Blasphemy!

The lady behind the desk began to tell them about pirate themed rooms and places at other destinations and Jake wanted more details but Danny told them to move on and get to their rooms to settle in, unpack and get this vacation started.

Sam smiled widely as he entered their room. There were two big twin beds, a nice bathroom, comfortable looking pillows and a mini bar. Perfect.

Danny was smiling as he walked over to his bed and placed his bags down. He looked out the window and grinned. “I needed this.”

Sam nodded. “Same. Looking after you lot really takes a toll on a person.”

Danny’s head slowly turned to look at his friend, staring in disbelief.

Sam ignored the bewildered look from his not blood-brother brother, kicked off his sandals and clapped his hands, and rubbed them together as he grinned. “Now, let’s go explore this big bitch!”

—————————————-

Josh and Jake were in the middle of their room doing rock, scissors, paper, to see who would get the bed near the window. It was their 3rd game as it was best out of 5 since Jake lost the first two.

“You know what, just take the damn bed near the window, Jake.”

Jake bounced over to the bed and threw his stuff down before shoving his face against the window. “Ahhhhhh”

Josh watched as his twin took a deep breathe, despite the window being closed.

“I”m taking it you’re excited?” Josh asked as he looked down at his phone. The brightness would make anyone else shriek back in horror but he was used to it and liked the glow it gave off.

Jake didn’t even answer, he turned to Josh and his beacon light of a phone. Just staring at him. Josh knew that look when he looked over to him.

“Okay fine.” He let out then lifted a hand and gestured in the air. Jake threw his head back with a laugh. “Okay deal!”

—————————————-

Danny and Sam were walking along the deck. They were taking photos with Sam’s beloved Olympus 35, laughing, posing weirdly, getting looks but also smiles at their antics. “You know we could have just filled the cooler and gone to the river again with some dinghies.”

Sam ignored him. True they could have, but last time it was a mess. The cooler got filled with river water, Jake’s Taki’s got wet, Sam ended up stuck in a shrub and Danny had to get out and help him, and Josh nearly went flying into a rock.

Soon, they wandered to look over the rail of the ship, drinks in hand. They smiled at each other, clinked their glasses and enjoyed the vast view of the blue ocean. There was silence but it was peaceful until Sam said, “You ever thought about diving off the side of a-“

“Come on let’s try and find where they are” Danny pulled him away from the rail.

——————

Josh and Jake were inside and found themselves with some cast members. Josh was giggling at Mickey as he stood there listening to the vocalis rant about life, his hand waving in the air. “You see? We just need to embrace life and live it. Not thinking about how it will all end, we need to make memories and live the now-“ Mickey was holding his hands to his mouth as if he was in shock but also laughing. Jake was ignoring the whole situation of Josh giving Mickey an existential crisis and was taking selfies with Goofy in his sailor clothes.

“There they are!” Sam called out and ran over, drink in hand as his paper umbrella went flying. He suddenly stopped, pointed at Donald who also pointed back at him as if he recognised Sam. Then they both pointed at each other's bare feet. “Give me a hug you wacky duck!” Sam let out and hugged the adorable character.

Danny also got a picture with Pluto and Minnie as they posed for Sam’s camera. He walked over to Jake as he finished taking pictures with Goofy and beamed a smile.

“Just got down here?”

Jake shook his head. “Nah, we’ve been here for an hour. Josh won’t leave Mickey alone.”

Danny snorted a laugh and looked over to the shorter man who was still talking to the mouse. “Okay” he walked over, smiled at Mickey and put his hands on Josh’s shoulders. “Time to let Mickey have a break dude.” He began to shove Josh away as Mickey waved, the shorter man still trying to talk to him.

“Let’s get you a tequila soda and some snacks.” Josh suddenly perked up and stopped talking about life and death. The boys found themselves in the ship bar. They warned the staff there they would see a lot of them and they already got free shots and were on a first name basis with most of them.

“So what now?” Jake called out as the conversation died down.

Sam looked at each of them. “Yeah, what do we do on a cruise ship?”

They all glanced at each other and shrugged.

—————

The next day.

The boys decided to try and relax by the pool. Jake was wearing black swimming trunks and his straw hat, along with a book in hand.

Josh was going to wear a gold speedo but Jake slapped it out of his hand. He decided to wear a pair of striped shorts and some sandals, along with a big pair of sunglasses and a long Japamala.

Sam was wearing his short shorts in purple, no sandals, sunglasses and had a cocktail ready to go.

Danny wore a pair of mustard yellow trunks, his hair tied into a bun on his head, a beer in hand and a smile.

They lay on their sunbeds as people did the same, some in the pool, some just walking around.

“This is too calm for us.” Sam let out.

Danny turned to him. “This was your idea. I said we should have gone to the river.”

Jake was sitting reading his book, “but snacks don’t get wet on here.” He mumbled.

“I BET SOME STUFF DOES GET WET ON HERE WOAHHOEEE WHEEYHEYY” Josh loudly let out. Sam smiled at his bizarre older brother.

“What else do we do on cruises?” Danny asked out. They all looked at each other, apart from Jake who was still reading.

Sam closed his eyes trying to soak in the peacefulness. Okay it did feel too calm but hey, at least there was no annoying pirate night. Right?

Like clockwork, a speaker on the deck made a bell sound.

“Ladies and gentleman, we have an announcement to make. You were informed that Pirate Night was in fact cancelled due to some circumstances. However, we are delighted to announce that Pirate Night SHALL be happening as usual and the third night of our journey.”

The people around them erupted into cheers. Jake was beaming a smile at the page of his book before he put it down.

“You have got to be shitting me!?” Was all Sam let out loudly as he looked at the rest of the people all happy and then back at the boys. Danny was delighted. He was smiling and actually excited. Hell, even he wanted to dress up in pirate gear and run around on this big bitch of a boat.

Josh was smiling as he looked at his twin. Jake perked up an eyebrow at him and Josh nodded and then lifted his left hand and made a gesture with his index finger and then thumb. Jake laughed and nodded back before he pulled a face. “Okay, but only if you let me have the sword this time.” Josh answered back to that and settled back into his sunlounger as Jake beamed a happy smile.

Meanwhile, Sam was looking out at the blue waves. He was imagining himself on a raft trying to escape with one of the cast members . No idea who he’d try to shove on the raft with him. Either Donald or Pluto.

He nudged Danny. “You ever wonder how long a person can survive at sea?”

—————————————————————

The last day.

Josh had an adventure on the cruise ship. Last night he found an unlocked costume room and decided to put on a Mickey Mouse outfit. Weirdly, he got away with being Mickey for around 6 hours until he felt like he was going to faint from the heat and tried to slap Sam when he heard him let out a joke about his brother and his whereabouts.

Josh was made to promise to not cause anymore trouble while on the ship or else they would be banned from any Happiest place on Earth or water forever.

Jake didn’t give a shit about anything else. Tonight was Pirate Night. And you best believe he brought his clothes with him. Everything but his real sword because last time they got in trouble at Medieval Times. For this occasion, he has a bubble sword which he thought would be fitting with the boat AND it’s fun!

Danny was taking a photo of Goofy holding Sam in a headlock, laughing and trying not to break down completely at the image of Sam legitimately getting a little freaked out and the soulless smile Goofy was giving to the camera.

“ARRRRRRR!” Was all he heard from behind him along with people saying, “Oh my god! This year they have Pirates of the Caribbean cast members?”

He turned around with a smile knowing what he was going to see. And there Jake was. Stood with one foot on the railing of the ship, posing with his hand out as people took photos. He was wearing his pirate outfit, complete with a hat this time with a red bandana on his head underneath, eyeliner, hair teased a little, giving Jack Sparrow if he shaved. Danny laughed when he spotted the bubble sword tucked away in his belt.

People started taking photos with Jake as he stood there with the sea and the horizon behind him. Posing away as Sam finally got out of Goofy’s headlock. “He really was a fucking pirate in his last life.” Danny nodded

“What do you think you were?” He genuinely wanted to know

Sam took a sip of a drink that appeared in his hand as he took his camera from Danny with the other. “I don’t know….a garden gnome?” He said seriously before walking away from his friend to quickly snap a picture of Jake with a bunch of people taking photos with him.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! Pirate Night!” Was announced loudly and everyone started cheering as the cast members were all in a line, waving and dancing to the music that was playing, dressed in their cute, best pirate attire.

Jake unsheathed his bubble sword and started waving it about, really adding to the atmosphere and tone of the night as everyone smiled, snapped pics, and enjoyed themselves.

“We will begin the fireworks shortly, there are themed drinks for everyone to enjoy so please help yourself.” One crew member announced, and so did everyone. The lads all stood there with a drink and clinked their glasses together. But Josh was missing.

“Where did he get to now?” Danny asked, looking around the crowd of people.

Jake stood smiling away just taking in the moment but did note it was weird he was missing since he loved fireworks and fire so much, AND alcohol.

Sam snapped a pic of someone falling over on the deck and then nodded in agreement that it was odd. “He’s probs in another costume or something.”

After a few minutes the fireworks began. Everyone stood ‘ooing’ and ‘ahhing’ at the colours and sparkles. The reflections of the fireworks on the sea made the experience much more different than seeing fireworks just blast off into the black inky sky above.

Suddenly, someone from the crowd let out a, ‘what the fuck?!”

The boys turned around to find Josh wearing a big pair of sunglasses and his brown jumpsuit. But he was also wielding two of those firework swords, lit.

“PIRATE NIGHT BABY!!” Was all he yelled out before it started going off, shooting random sparks up into the air and on the boat. Mayhem broke out and everyone started screaming.

Jake grabbed his bubble sword and started to try and join in and make some bubbles. Sam was laughing at the chaos as the cast members were running away from Josh as he stood there, grinning like a maniac as Danny yelled at him to stop. “JOSH! STOP IT!”

As the swords finally stopped. Danny looked around at the cruise ship and let out an annoyed sigh. “SEE! AND IT STILL WENT ON THE ROOF!”

[ohhey1293]

Like We Never Loved at All ⇢ (5) ▲ Jake Kiszka x OC - 1970s AU ▲ ・ Word Count:  2811・ ● Warning: cursing, physical abuse, smoking, drinking. ●       ■ Taglist available ■  Author’s note: Hello again! It’s so good to finally be back and writing this fic again. I’ve been watching Daisy Jones and The Six and it gave me the motivation to get back on the Jake and Cate horse again. I hope those of you that read this story in the past will pick up where you left off and love it just as much as I am again. This chapter is a little slow - more Cate and Henry than Jake, but you never know when he’ll appear. I just want to thank those that have read this story! I really appreciate it :)             ✕ Disclaimer: This is purely fiction. This is in no way associated with                                                 Jake or the band. ✕

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“So, my mother was thinking of having the ladies at her church make the food for the reception. She also wants to come with you when you pick out the venue.”

I stared out the window as the scenery passed by. I had been back in Tennessee for almost a week, finally greeting a very pissed off Henry at the airport days later than I was supposed to. My trysts with Jake lasted two days – only leaving the room to get something to eat. We both knew it was a horrible idea but we couldn’t stop. I would lay next to him while he slept, my brain telling me to finally pull my clothes on and get the hell out of there. Even when he was deep inside of me, I knew it was a huge mistake but I never said no. My heart argued with my brain, winning the battle at the end.

“Sweetheart?”

I turned my head, looking over at my smiling fiancé. “Yeah, that’s fine.” Trying my best to sound somewhat chipper. His eyes glossed over with concern but his smile stayed firm.

“You okay?” He finally asked. “Haven’t been your usual self since you got back.” I nodded my head, assuring him that it was just jetlag and not getting enough sleep. “A nice, relaxing vacation is what you really need. You know my family’s got that hou-“

“I don’t need a vacation.” His expression changing drastically at my interruption. “Thank you though.” I patted his leg, my eyes still trained on the road in front of us. His whole demeanor changed at that moment – his body stiff and his face stoic. The meeting with the wedding planner was uncomfortable to say the least. He would only make sounds when asked of his opinion causing my blood to start boiling. He could be rude and hateful to me but she didn’t deserve his attitude. After the meeting, he had to run over to his parent’s house as usual – the annual Sunday meal with the in-laws was always a favorite of mine…(Hint the sarcasm).

He didn’t bother waiting as I exited the car, choosing to make his way into the large home without me. I stayed seated in the car for a moment, a sigh escaping past my painted lips as tears formed. “Just breath.” I spoke to myself. It was my fault that he was acting this way �� I pissed him off – He had a right to be angry. I pulled my pocket mirror, checking my makeup before exiting the car. It was evident that it wouldn’t be just Henry and I at dinner tonight seeing as there were three extra cars crammed into the driveway. I pushed open the heavy doors, greeting one of the housekeepers with a smile as I slowly walked into the living room. I could hear the low tone of Henry’s father speaking the guest laughed at his words. Henry sat next to his mother, nursing a glass of bourbon as he paid attention to his look-alike father.

“Looks like Catherine decided to finally join us.” Richard, Henry’s father spoke with a snide look. The other’s, include Henry and his mother, turned in my direction. “Care to take a seat, darling.” It was more of a demand rather than a question. I nodded my head slightly, taking a seat on the edge next to Henry. He remained silent – placing his right hand on my thigh as he continued to listen to his father’s stories. I could feel the glances of those around, including his mother, Nancy. Richard and Nancy were always cordial but you could tell I was not the one they wanted their only son to settle down with. They knew I was a musician and I’m sure at this point they were aware of my past. They wanted Henry to settle with a girl that was – well- lets just say grounded if you will. I was a musician – I would go on tour or have to go to different places to appear on TV. They didn’t want that for Henry and as the years ticked on, I could tell Henry was starting to listen to them.  I was supposed to stay home and care for the house and more importantly Henry. Nancy wanted me to be a doting wife – one that listened to Henry and would bow down to his every whim and need. She was the picture-perfect wife – a June Cleaver in a way. Her hair and clothing were always pressed and perfect. She never wore the same outfit twice. When Richard would return home from work or the country club, she was there to greet him with a glass of scotch and dinner being prepared in the kitchen. When going to outings at the church or the club, she was the woman that the other women surrounded – it was her approval they all wanted.

“Smells like dinner is about ready – shall we make our way to the dining room?” Richard smiled as they guest rose from their seats. I watched as he made small talk with them as they passed, his smile slightly dropping as Henry and I approached. “Nancy, why don’t you show Henry that gift you were talking about the other day.” Henry looked at his dad confused. “I need to have a little chat with Cate for a moment.” I was taken back as Henry walked away, not even daring to look back to make sure I was okay. Richard waited until Nancy and Henry were out of the room before slowly turning back, his face expressionless.

“Heard it was quiet the time while the two of you were away.” His voice neutral. “Henry said something about an ex-boyfriend being there?” I pulled at my dress. “Don’t you think it’s time to stop playing pretend and settle into the role of dedicating yourself to my son and his future.”

I stared into his light eyes, a scoff slipping past my lips. “Pretend?” I crossed my arms defiantly. “My career is not pretend and your son is well aware of that. He knew what he was getting into when we met – you and your wife seem to be the ones with the problem.” From his glowing eyes, I could tell that he wasn’t prepared for me to answer back in this manner. “I may be Henry’s fiancé but I wasn’t put on this earth to dedicate myself to him or his future. I bow down to no man – including you, Richard.”

I brushed past him as I followed where the others had walked before. He stayed missing for a moment before joining everyone, acting as if our conversation never happened. I took a seat next to Henry, his second glass of bourbon that I’ve seen sitting in front of him. He spoke with a young couple, smiling and laughing at their words. The awkward feeling enveloped me again as I sat there, ignored by those around.

“Hope everyone is hungry!” Nancy spoke as she walked into the room. The chef followed behind; a large portion of meat spread on a silver platter. She took a seat next to Richard, rubbing his hand as she looked around the table. Her eyes finally landing on me, quickly looking away once we our sites connected. The hired help started dishing out the plates, everyone getting a piece of meat and two vegetables. I quietly thanked the woman as she passed me the plate, the only one to do so in fact. Everyone made idle chit chat as they ate. Henry’s body turned slightly from mine as he spoke to those next to him, laughing in between chews. I was left on my own little island – stranded with my overcooked pork and tasteless sides.

“So, Cate-“ My head perked up at the sound of my name. A head of blonde hair and over-lined eyes stared back at me. “I understand that you are a musician? Top 40? Country?” She was the wife of Henry’s friend.

I wiped my mouth with the silk napkin, “Well, I started off as a top 40 act but I’m looking to go in a different direction now. Get with the sound of the times kind of stuff.”

Richard and Nancy slowly ate their meals, their attention focused on my new conversation. “Well, I was only asking because I never heard of your songs. Not to be rude or anything, but I never heard of you at all.” The girl continued. “I guess your music isn’t really what I gravitate towards.”  

Her remark was meant to be rude – meant to make a mockery of me in front of everyone. If she was trying to hurt me it wasn’t working. I’ve heard it all and after a while it just goes right through you. “Sorry to hear that.” I smiled. “I don’t really cater towards the spoiled population.” Her face, along with everyone else’s, fell at my words. “Maybe when I first started you would have liked the music – pink, soft, clean. You can’t remain the same girl after the things I’ve done – my music is evident of that and your kind would never understand.”

“And what is it that you have done, Catherine?” Richard inquired.

I locked eyes with him, “Well, that’s not important is it, Richard?”

The table turned silent as the master of the house and I glared at one another. I wasn’t backing down this time. I was done backing down to these people – I was tired of being someone that I wasn’t. I downed what was left of my wine, quickly pouring myself another glass.

“What about children? Wouldn’t you like to settle down and have children?” An older woman asked. “Surely when you and Henry are married, you’ll step away from that lifestyle and settle down and become a wife and mother.”

Henry and I hardly spoke about having children. It had come up in passing a handful of times but the subject was changed before we could go further. Of course, I wanted children – only when the time was right. It wasn’t right when I was a teenager and I don’t believe the time was right at this moment. Henry didn’t strike me as the loving father type. He was very similar to his own father. He cared about his business and that was his pride and joy.

“My music and career are my children.” I spoke truthfully. “They’ve been my babies since I was 16 years old. You write the songs and send them out to the world – hoping millions of strangers enjoy and love them just as much as you do. Frankly, I don’t believe that Henry and I are at the point to have a real child. Even if we were to get married tomorrow, bringing a baby into this relationship would only bring trouble.” Henry’s head whipped to the side; his eyes boring into my skin. “Just because we’re getting married doesn’t mean I need to quiet my job and stay home. I’m not cut out for the whole housewife routine. Frankly, the thought of cleaning and cooking all day for my husband is a bit repulsive. Henry’s a grown man – if he’s hungry, he knows how to work the oven – it wouldn’t be the first time…”

The ride back to the house was silent.

I would glance over during the drive, watching as Henry’s face fought with the anger that was coursing through his body, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. I decided to just stay quiet, not wanting to poke the bear and risk us being involved in an accident. As he parked the car in the driveway, he quickly removed himself from the vehicle, stomping up the stairs to our condo. I sat in the dark car, the only sound coming from the crickets in the dewy grass. I understood that my boost of confidence at the dinner was the reason for his sour attitude. I finally found the courage to standup to those people – telling them how I really feel instead of being the phony person I had been.

I slowly walked up the same steps, taking a breath before entering the home. Henry was nowhere to be found; his jacket thrown on the back of the couch. I removed my heels before walking up the steps to our shared bedroom, stopping once I saw Henry sitting on the bed, head in hands. I leaned against the doorframe, biting my lip nervously.

“I’m really not in the mood to even hear your voice right now, Catherine.” He spoke. His voice tired.

“Well-“ I paused. “I didn’t hear you coming to my defense when they were playing 20 fucking questions. I was just being honest.”

His head shot up, “Honest-“He rose from the bed. “Your fucking honestly was the joke of the evening!” I flinched at his raised voice. “You made me look like a fucking fool in front of everyone. Oh, Henry can just cook for himself- He’s done it many times. Henry can fend for himself – he’s a grown man.” He mimicked.

“You want me to fucking lie?” I pressed back. “I told them the fucking truth! I don’t want to be some little housewife who jumps as soon as you come home. I am my own person! Just because we’re getting married doesn’t mean you own me, Henry Samuels. I’m not gonna be like your mother and her group of hens that sits at the country club and secretly daydreams about what their lives could have been. Fuck that shit!”

The searing pain of his hand meeting my cheek whipped my head to the side. My hand instantly touched the spot, tears welling up in my eyes as the pain intensified. I could hear as Henry stomped past me, the door to the guest room slamming behind him. This wasn’t the first time I had been hit by a man but it was the first time Henry had ever laid hands on me. 

I stood in the same spot for a number of minutes before my anger kicked in. His hit left a large red mark on my cheek – I winced as I did my best to try to cover it. I quickly changed out of my stuffy attire, slipping on a strappy, long dress with see-through material. I clipped back my hair, letting my bangs frame my puffy face. I didn’t even bother telling him where I was going – simply slamming the front door as I left. I didn’t know where I was going. I just knew that I didn’t want to be anywhere near him at this point…

“Can I have another whiskey sour, please?”

I watched as the bartender began working on the drink – my fifth one of the night at this point. I drove around for an hour or two before walking into the rowdy establishment. It was right off the highway, mostly occupied by bikers and ruffians. It was definitely not the type of place where you would find Henry

“Thanks.” I muttered as he placed the glass in front of me. I had it finished within seconds, the warmth of the alcohol flooding my senses. I wasn’t drunk though. My tolerance for alcohol growing since my younger years – years of slamming back drink after drink – getting trashed and not even remembering what had happened the next day.

“Can I just have the bottle?”

I looked up from my drink, the voice sitting directly next to me causing my heart to speed up. His hair was pulled back, the same glasses as always perched over his eyes. “What are you doing here?” I finally asked.

He kept his head trained ahead, “Saw you split from your place in a hurry – figured you wanted to get drunk.” A small smirk formed on his face. “Trouble in paradise between you and the prince?”

I rolled my eyes at the nickname he had given Henry. “Just a disagreement is all.” I lied. I could see his eyes roll behind the glasses. “Why are you in Tennessee?”

He took a long drink from the bottle of whiskey, the liquid dripping from his chin down to his exposed chest. “There’s a beautiful girl – woman I know here.” His body turning towards mine. “From the looks of it-“His hand moving my hair away from my face, his fingers dancing on my exposed shoulder. “She’s secretly happy to see me.”

My breath hitched in my throat as my heart drummed against my chest. “We can’t do this, Jake.” My words barely audible. At this point our faces were inches apart – the intoxicating smell of alcohol, smoke, and that damn cologne flooding my senses.

“I know.” He pushed his sunglasses into his locks. Our eyes finally connecting – both sober and our senses intact. “But I can’t help myself.”

[write-feel-live-love]

Wednesday Wellness #1

Self-Esteem Edition...

So I bought this self-esteem work book in hopes it would help me feel better about myself. In it, it suggests journaling. My therapist agrees. I'm at the part where it suggests I review my day every night using basic questions. My therapist agrees. SO here goes...

If you could rate your day on a scale of one to ten (one being unhappy and ten being extremely happy), how would you rate it? 6/7

Briefly describe your day, what happened to make it a happy/ unhappy one? Include even the mundane stuff (you never know, there might be some hidden joy lurking in cleaning the toilet!). Woke up, got ready in peace (that was nice). Cuddles with hubby. Got my daughter up. Got my son ready. Went downstairs to make breakfast for us all. Didn't do my morning chores, because we had to get to an early doc appt for my son. Found parking easy. Checked in. Got in relatively on time. Children went crazy in the doctors office. Daughter threw a fit because I told her to get off the doctor's chair. Went to library for story time. Chasing both kids around. Story time. Home. Lunch. Nap. I played Sims 4 (working on creating a new save file). Kids got up. Made dinner. Husband took daughter to store so I had the boy child. Called my parents once they got back. Bath time for wee one with young Frankenstein musical on in the background. Got 15 minutes of alone time. Read to child. I've been searching for a way to find Big Brother online to watch it so I can engage with co-workers. Failed.

Try to keep some notes in a diary or journal every day for a week. Using your notes, try to identify any patterns. What were you doing on the days that you felt at your best? What didn't make you feel good? I'm pretty good at detecting patterns in my own behavior. I definitely get thrown off when my routine is off (like when I can't get my chores done in the morning). I get really overwhelmed by noise, so the kids being crazy at the doctor's office while I'm trying to listen and answer questions is frustrating. My daughter is in a rough time for listening right now, and that's hard to deal with. (I'm a teacher, I get triggered when I have to repeat myself or go through extra lengths to get attention.) My daughter is also insanely whiney lately and that's driving me nuts. I'm really dysregulated, so she's dysregulated. (Side note....dysregulated? disregulated? autocorrect might be wrong this time...)

What makes you feel amazing? When do you feel most like yourself? When do you laugh most? When do you feel peaceful? Shit man, get deep. Okay. I feel amazing when everything goes according to plan. I can follow my routines with relative ease and minimal disruptions. I feel amazing when my kids are happy and content (within reason). I feel like myself I've accomplished things on my to do list and feel successful in my day going the way I wanted it to go. I laugh when I'm relaxed enough to enjoy my kids being kids or when I'm out with friends. I feel peaceful when my kids are asleep or gone and I have time to myself.

How could you do more of these things? Can you do one of them every day? I get daily time to myself. My husband is amazing and sees me. He often offers to take one or both kids on quick trips at night so I can have time, or even just letting me go upstairs while he takes care of them. I get alone time. I'm making an effort to out with friends more, but my friends are teachers too and it makes it hard to get together when they're fitting in vacations and family time. I try really hard to follow my routines. I very much am working on accomplishing my routines and staying on track. I think a big piece of my issue this week has been sleep. I was up too late Sunday and Monday night. Last night I don't think I slept well. That always plays a big role in my ability to function. I'm going to work on making sure I'm getting enough sleep and peaceful routines in the morning.

Well, that wasn't too bad. This might be my routine for a few Wednesdays, but overall this seems easy. Might move on to different prompts. We'll find out.

Thanks for listening Void. You always make me feel heard.

[thisisevenharderthannamingablog]

Liveblogging notes for ep 11.

Sorry shippers, I gotta click the fast-forward a few times here, hope I don't miss any important bits. Did by sheer coincidence pause on "no legacy is so rich as honesty." Interesting.

Gun straight in with a clearly practiced right to the jaw. What a lovely family dynamic. Pete's like I am being tortured in a whole other way now, fun!

Gun doesn't want Porsche hurt...? This is the most we've seen of Gun all season, and his overt violence is a sharp contrast to Korn. Pete obviously isn't supposed to leave that room alive even before the gun is handed over, and he is side-eyeing Gun so fucking hard ah, I think I see the root of the problem here.

Vegas arranging for Pete to have "vacation" is certainly A Thing. Grandma appears to have total knowledge of Pete's job situation. Vegas is so wonderfully awful, as in I am in awe of how this character is constructed. The camera angles are constantly shifting and off-kilter in this scene.

Kinn actually checked up, too. Interesting. Trying to be a better boss these days? And he wants to let Porsche leave like Chay wants. This is the most relaxed outfit we've seen him in since the date, too. Korn looks way more distressed about this development than he did about getting Ken's head delivered in a gift box; Khun has Opinions. Kinn, you set yourself up for this, but well done with the declaration. Khun is so fucking delighted for his little brother.

OMG everybody listening in at the door. Discipline has gone straight to hell around here since Porsche joined. Arm is the best. Chan why is your gun drawn wtf.

Longest. Pause. Ever.

So there's like 5,000 rules in this place but none about fraternization?

Porsche is not sure this is a good thing. That's smart of him. All of his friends are cute though.

Interesting what they did with the lighting here to establish visual continuity with the minor house dungeon. Ah, the (in)famous hedgehog. Bizarre pet choice.

Porsche what? The number of times now that I have watched a scene in the show and said, "I thought that post about this was a JOKE" is fairly high now.

Back to Kim, still on the trail, trying to figure out who killed Porsche's parents, thinking that they are a link that might explain why his dad is so invested in this guy. We learn here that Porsche's parents had money and the details of the accident have been redacted.

Chay's got a new thousand-yard stare since the kidnapping. Poor kid. So much money and y'all don't have any therapists on staff. Real talk going on here, about time. (My chess theory, Chay is Porsche's king piece. He's in Korn's house now, danger zone.) And Porsche you've almost gotten killed like six times in this job, what is this bullshit.

On the one hand, Chay has a good point. Anything happens to Porsche, wtf is going to happen to Chay now? On the other hand, Porsche has been forced to be parent and provider and everything to his brother for most of his life. Any parenting book will tell you that parents need to keep something in reserve for themselves; Porsche deserves his own life and his love.

A choice looms. With Porsche's reply, this is the first time the narrative has raised the possibility of a third way, a solution that doesn't leave anyone out.

And skip right to Vegas and Pete for the thematic emphasis: "Do you think you can choose?" "I'm not choosing." Yet another lens on the issue -- what happens to choice if you reject the validity of the paradigm? If one of the options isn't a choice at all? Shit's getting deep in this goofball show.

So let's switch to domesticity and Kinn's friends being menaces. (Didn't Kinn used to sleep with a gun?) Porsche is so not used to any of this, but you gotta love how they're basically married already. I'm glad he has Yok looking out for him.

Aaaand back to Gun winning "father of the year" wow. "Childhood's End" huh real subtle choice show. Gun you do realize he's gonna fucking kill you one of these days?

Love every second of Khun winning hearts and UH-OH I was wondering when this was going to drop. Chay's little world has just ended. (Maybe you would feel differently if you had seen how amazing he looked coming to your rescue? No, I suppose not.)

Vegas you're lucky he isn't dead already wtf do you usually not play with your toys this long.

Forgot to mention this earlier but I really love the jewelry choices for all the characters.

Never failing to make everything AS WEIRD AS POSSIBLE love you Vegas. This scene is hella compelling though. Bonding with your torturer over a shared history of child abuse, check.

Wow Kim, that was ice cold. (Also WTF are you doing there? Thought you never visited.) You broke Chay. You heartless bastard.

We seem to be bringing the city views into more and more focus with these two? Honestly it's such a relief when things go well for a character.

WTF Gun do you stop by every day just to beat your son and then leave? This is getting even weirder. So Pete's going to try staying alive to see what happens? I'm more than a little surprised that they decided to make Vegas a reader. Just doesn't seem like he'd have the patience.

Kim still working and annoyed enough about all the dead ends that he's started throwing his family name at the problem. So it was Korn who had the accident hushed up. Doesn't it suck when you're right about something.

[lunarmochi]

recovery in progress, it's going nice.

i've been slowly easing myself back into regularly checking tumblr and discord without getting overwhelmed.

i've definitely had rough rough moments, but nothing too out of the ordinary. the stress of being constantly present and the guilt of taking breaks for myself have considerably gone down, which i'm thankful for.

i'm.. there's still a part of me that thinks i'm not going to be accepted back, and that i'm just going to be scolded, be told that what i did was completely selfish, and that everyone is disappointed? but i'm trying not to think about it too much.

i'm.. i'm doing my best. the people-pleaser in me is screaming at the thought of disappointing people and facing rejection for making this decision to take care of myself? but i'm doing it anyway, and it's doing something good for me.

--

on another note, some nice things have been happening. i've been playing more minecraft lately! ... on my own, but still fun and relaxing. i explored the new sakura biome and have been collecting materials for a temple/base. i've gotten to the point where i set the world to peaceful and use cheats sometimes bc self care.

i've also been excited and watching the new nijiEN wave that debuted.. yesterday? they were announced a few days ago and i've been all hyped over that.

oh! .... oh. i also spent the other day finally getting to record some more stuff. i finally got around to recording myself doing the furry rap i wanted to try it bc i was curious. i also made a little video to go along w it, which took me a while bc i haven't edited videos in a meme-y format before. it... it took me almost 7 hours. 7 hours of audio mixing, re-recording lines, and making that damned video, and it's only 57 seconds long. i'll see if i have the balls to post it here, since not many people are here.

oh! i've also been coping with the fact that my blorbo has been on break the past week. i've been missing him a lot and rewatching vods, but i'm happy he's been on vacation. he's out fighting bears (/j) in the mountains. he's been working really hard the past 6 months, and deserves the break. the scythekicks (his fans) on my twitter timeline have been in SHAMBLES and it's funny in a way.

anyway. it feels better ending this post on a lighter note. i've been trying to take care of myself more lately. call me weird and overly-obsessed with vtubers, but being a fan of some has encouraged me to take care of myself more and has allowed me to meet and make some friends!! or mutuals, at least. friends is a strong word.

ANYWAY ANYWAY. luna recover. luna sleep now. luna try their best.

[mickstaxiservice]

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