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literaphobe · 2 years ago

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@baeksseju OKAY SO yesterday morning i forgot to set my alarm clock and woke up at 7:48am instead of… 6:30am KFKSKDKSKSSK and that was MY BAD like i didn’t know and i still don’t know whether i set an alarm or not or if i just forgot like i tend to do. anyway. im gonna call my friend P and my other friend S. so every monday and wednesday morning at 8:30am we have our sociolinguistics class. P & S (whoever of them comes first) (its almost never me) get there and save us the same 3 corner seats in the second last row. i always get the corner most seat bc im the latest one usually UM ANYWAY

so this girl we know from this random amalgamation of people who we hung out with for like 1-2 weeks at the start of the semester started like FUCKING loving P bc like P is really funny and talks shit about people they hate and never replies to messages for several hours (unless its me or her bf or one of our other real friends) <- my theory that these people have anxious attachment style and P ignoring them only makes them want her MORE

P is also kind of a people pleaser in the sense that she’s a fake bitch (HER WORDS ❤️) and even if she dislikes u or hates u or talks mad shit about you YOU WONT FUCKING KNOW BC SHE’LL STILL ACT LIKE UR BEST FRIEND WHEN SHES FORCED TO INTERACT whereas well. i mean in real life at least. the SECOND i start disliking someone… you’ll usually know. WHICH IS A PROBLEM BC THIS ONE GIRL WHO RECENTLY BECAME GIRL I WANNA FUCKING MURDER #1 ON MY HIT LIST. became. convinced. that i fucking hated her. and she was right! but P was working w her on two projects so i had to pretend i didn’t 😭😭 anyway i dodged her attempts to have lunch w me last friday and she hasn’t texted me since. AND we have a theory that C <- codename for my most hated girl in school <- u will feel genuinely murderous if you find out why. Like. KNOWS? we don’t like her anymore? and only communicates w us for school stuff?

BUT THIS OTHER GIRL IN THEIR FRIEND GROUP FOR THE SEMESTER (i genuinely think they will all stop being friends the moment they don’t have classes together) -> lets call her A . like. LOVES P now? so back to what actually happened. SHE WALKED INTO CLASS AT 8:35AM AND FUCKING SAT IN MY SEAT.

when she KNOWS that seat is saved for me.

and well. P and I have this ongoing joke that she’s the fake bitch and i have the biggest fucking balls ever because. i just fucking. say crazy daring shit sometimes. and this other enemy we have, B (trust me she is SO bad that her entire cohort in her year above us GOT HER KICKED OUT OF A CLASS BECAUSE OF HOW AWFUL SHE WAS) got like intimidated by me during a zoom call bc she was bored and started running everything we were all writing through GRAMMARLY when we werent even done writing our part on this PEER REVIEW ASSIGNMENT about another group. and it pissed me off so i told her ‘hey is it okay if you don’t edit my work until i’m done with it? sorry, it’s distracting’ and well she didn’t edit my work at all after that and sounded scared when she talked to me KFKSKD i mean i was TRYING to be nice but well IDK

anyway. because of P’s tiny balls. and also because it all happened so fast. and also because I WASNT THERE TO DEFEND MY FUCKING SEAT. and the fact that i was gonna be so abysmally late there was no point in saving me a seat. P couldn’t really do anything to stop her

BUT DID A KNOW THAT? NO SHE FUCKING DIDNT. i could’ve been there a minute later and i wouldn’t have had A FUCKING SEAT. I DIDNT NEED IT BUT ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF THE MATTER .

SO. A started PEEKING AT P’S LAPTOP. and was like who’re u texting?? (me) who’s the trio?? (me S & P) and when she found out P was texting me she smirked and was like ‘tell michelle im sitting in her seat’ and so P texted me that HOPING id get the hint that A was watching (I DID THANKFULLY) and i was like WHAT THE FUCK but i hope you realize the back is BETTER than the front

moving on. A’s reasoning for sitting in my seat was that C sat TOO up front (IT WAS LITERALLY ONE ROW IN FRONT OF WHERE THEY ALLEGEDLY USUALLY SIT ?) and that was like too much for her to handle apparently. anyway. P and C had to consult w the professor for a panel discussion they have to lead on wednesday. so A was like come look for us after for lunch!! <- we didn’t. but does A take the hint? NO! even C had the mind to walk away after the consultation instead of trying to join me P and S. which i now realize. is so. Salt and Pepper. ANYWAY. A keeps texting P!!!! and fucking telling her to sit with her during the next class??????

oh. we have another friend. his name is H. i met him in a cursed group project last year and he saved me during summer when i got sick and missed classes. he’s really sweet and i hope he’s always my friend. ANYWAY. he was gone during all this because his sociolinguistic project group (which B is INNNNNN JFC) insisted on them all eating lunch together. and before they left P was talking to H and B saw and was like Um… are u close to P? during the lunch. and he was like yeah i am what about it. oh right y’all are in a group project for another class right? and B was like yeah… ig P and michelle are kind of hard to work with… like we were supposed to be doing an assignment and they were playing games in class :/ -> WE WEREN’T. also. WE WERE DONE??? WITH WHAT WE NEEDED TO DO? AND THE ASSIGNMENT WAS FARRRRR FROM BEING DUE and i told them. i wasn’t gonna do anything else in class that day because i had a huge test and i was really sleep deprived so any work i did wouldn’t be good. and EVERYONE ELSE WAS FINE WITH THAT. BUT HER????? she claimed to be ‘90% done’ with her bit by the end of class. mf i don’t trust the quality of ur fucking work 😭😭 and finding she was only in our class bc everyone else in the year hated her so much she got HELD BACK was fucking vindicating. like she does fucking nothing but get upset that her non-existent ideas don’t get used only to act like she does everything (WHEN SHE DOESN’T)… other groups in our class were TERRIFIED to get paired w our group for the peer review assigmment BC THEY ALL FUCKING HATE HER

anyway. KFKSKDKSKDKD. we meet H in our second class of the day. we saved a seat for him as we usually do. BUT IT WAS ALSO. ME AND P’S PLAN. to fucking. get seats in the back hidden by a pillar. SO WE DIDNT HAVE TO SIT WITH A. anyway i said ok im gonna be on ur left we are gonna put H on yr right so EVEN IF A MOVES SHE CANT DO SHIT. eventually. A realizes we r all the way at the back and she’s like WTF ARE U DOING THERE? COME HERE? and P had to start fake bitching and wave over and gesture that they should move to US

A starts DMing P. and sends her a video message (a thing on telegram) where her and this other girl r jamming to some song the professor’s playing in class. and P is like oh god… we have to send one back. and she’s like. michelle. you have to fake bitch with me. and i start fake crying and i go I DONT WANNA ☹️☹️☹️ and she’s like YOU HAVE TO… WE NEED TO FAKE BITCH BACK… and i was like okay :(((( and so we sent one back. AND THEY SENT BACK ANOTHER MESSAGE ??? so P was like ok nvm fuck this im not sending another back fuck u

after class. P’s granddad is picking us up (P asked me if i wanted to come with and i was like SURE) and we bump into the girls and A is like . WEIRDLY TOUCHY with P. and im like ????? bc even i don’t touch P like that 😭😭 and we were like um haha bye maybe we’ll sit together in class next time ! and me and P got into the lift WHICH THANKFULLY NO ONE FOLLOWED US INTO. and we were like WHAT THE FUCKKKKK and started pointing middle fingers at her (we are 12) and so we get into the car and i WIND UP HANGING OUT AT HER HOUSE ALL DAY

this is um. the third time ive been there? and today her mom was home and this is the first time im meeting her mom (who LOVES me btw. her grandparents love me too. IM EXCELLENT AT MAKING OLD PEOPLE LOVE ME. or well. old chinese people. im a lot better at P at speaking chinese which helps???? IG???? idk they think me and P are very similar and that im very cute)

the whole time im at P’s house vibing she gets texts from A and well P accidentally told A that theres a test tomorrow (IN 30 MINUTES BABY) its just a small quiz tbh but A was like OMG DO U WANNA STUDY WITH ME????? so P ignored her texts because SHE WOULD RATHER DIE and anyway P walked me to the bus at like 9 something at night… and A asked P for her discord… so P told her but didn’t add her to P’s private server (which im in) and she used her boyfriend as an excuse for not being able to call her <- when i got home me P and her bf hopped into VC together

OH YEAH. UM. P CONVINCED ME TO GO ON A VACATION W HER. AFTER THE SEMESTER ENDS. her bf and we had a bit all day where like bc i was at her house he was like WTF ARE U CHEATING ON ME… and then sent like clown memes fkdkfkskdksdk like he was a clown etc… so i was like im gonna start threatening to fuck u to keep him in line (he lives in malaysia where we are going) MOVING ON. im going for essentially 2 weeks and P’s going for like 3 and afterwards she’s coming back w her bf and we’re gonna hang out AGAIN (we have a dinner reservation together in DECEMBER) <- i booked a ticket next to her and everything

so A in in a discord w C and they have facecams on?,? for some reason. and P claims she has to help her bf w homework bc its due tomorrow (HAHAHAHAHAH) and A gets annoyed and is like… why do you care??? why do u have to help him???? and P is like ???? bc i love him…????? and i was like WTFFFFF hearing this in VC (bc i was showering while it happened) and i told her bf u think i wanna steal ur girl??? she wants to STEAL ur girl from me AND you And he was like wtffffffff WTFFFDDD anyway un

THATS ALL ill give more updates if any of you wanna hear more??? LMAOOOOO IVE BEEN NOT REPLYING TO P THIS ENTIRE TOME IVE BEEN TYPIG THIS OUT BC I WANTED TO PUT IT SOMEWHWRE IN CASE ANOTHER FRIEND WANTS TO KNOW FJSKDKSKDJSJD its very messy . BYE

#replies #long post #personal

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hxseok-honee · 3 years ago

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Oooooo okay okay haha I thought I read something like that somewhere but it makes more sense now,,, idk I just was listening to the song and it made me go yoongyn for multiple reasons and I thought I'd share why but also like ik were in this "hate jk" moment rn with whats he's doing but his jealousy with Yoongi,,, wow,,, especially the background jk and yn kinda have,, when the (hopefully maybe) redemption time comes for jk then only will I feel bad about his jealousy towards Yoongi cause that,,, just sucks

(also i feel like i put a lot of asks in today so if im annoying you can definitely tell me so 😅😅)

Anyways hope you have a good night!!! and I can't wait for Sundress update tomorrow,,,, stay safe, stay healthy and drink some water 😁💜

LISTEN TO ME PANINI HEAD (grabs respectfully from a safe comfortable distance) YOU COULD NEVER BOTHER ME I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL NIGHT— more under the cut!

okay heres the thing about jk!!!! and also yoonyn now that i think about it — one thing that was addressed in blossom is that yoongi visited yns family home during first year . jk did not! which means that by winter break of first year (only like,,, 3 months idk how to count who knows really) , yoonyn were already in that “we’re not platonic soulmates (yet), but out of all our friends, i asked YOU to come spend xmas w my fam” stage

which really honestly means that jkyn were not like BESTIES by the time yoongi came along w his cute little face and stole her away

also, yoongi was friends with all of them, not just yn, so its not like yn ever abandoned her friends, she just brought yoongi into it and expanded the group

so it was kinda that weird friend making stage where you meet a bunch of people and vibe and maybe are close w some for a bit and then you fall into your Real Place in the group, and yns Real Place was with yoongi

so like,,, yes jk’s minor friend jealousy was warranted through the years but she never abandoned the dude, they were still close and hung out every day, so the fact that he let that friend jealousy become BOYFRIEND jealousy,,, thats rough and on him bc yn never did anything to make him doubt her feelings for him so he had nothing to be jealous about

now the boyfriend!jk era,,,,, okay yes his jealousy was kinda understandable bc like???? how do you compete with yoongi when yn will ALWAYS default to him. granted, jk was lowkey a “good friend, terrible bf” kinda guy so its not like yn just always automatically went to yoongi, she just learned over time that jk wasnt as reliable as she thought he’d be. which… is fine. acceptable. okay whatever. the point is he really shouldnt have acted on his jealousy bc he should have been able to tell his own insecurities apart from what yn was actually doing.

when yn gets yoongis name tattooed, jks already at the point where hes making snide comments and making her feel bad for hanging out w yoongi more and shit like that — bc hes jealous, which is fine. but his execution is just BAD. yns not perfect, she knows she coulda tried harder to need jk more but like,,, what does that say about jkyn as a couple — the fact that she has to TRY to need jk. and thats her platonic soulmate?? shes made it clear that thats all yoongi is so why is jk turning her amazing bday gift for yoongi into a huge fight

basically to make a long story short they never shoulda dated that was a terrible idea jkyn was MESSY and they were better as friends bc jk turned his jealousy into this Gross Act of him guilt tripping her and making it more about him and yoongi and a game of who could “win” yn over when honestly? yoongi was never playing. bc he doesnt care LMAO and bc he knows how to mcfricking communicate (re : yoonyns convo in blossom where hes drunk and sad and says his feelings HONESTLY)

so yes, we hate jk rn. hes gross. he is also Human and deserves to better himself and we will get there. but we got a while until we see that happen bc hes heinous

#i have… so many thoughts about jkyn and yoonyn #so many

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cilliankelly · 4 years ago

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text 📱 cillian & ellie.

Discord text thread featuring: cillian & @robinscnfm

When: december 25th

Mentions: @judetaylorhq @loganstjames @iitsace

Description: ellie texts cillian to wish him merry xmas. they discuss their relationships and ellie encourages cillian to try and be better, but for himself, not for anyone else.

Trigger Warnings: insecurities galoooore but i think that’s it.

ellie.

merry christmas dumbass 🤩 hope u had a good time and that your leg is better ❤️ you’re awesome buddy

Cillian

thanks els bells

i know i don’t always act like i do, but i really do appreciate you and shit. thanks for everything and merry christmas

also i’m sorry about your couch

ellie.

i know you do ❤️ no problem. I really did take you in just to do you a solid, buddy

no problem 😂

i might not even need to get one. Yknow, logan asked me to move in and if i do, probably the less furniture the better. U know i have enough shit as it is lmao

Cillian

👀

does this mean you’re seriously considering it?

moving in with the boyfriend?

ellie.

honestly? I kind of am

i have until mid january to think about it

and i like his apartment, plus our schedules don’t always line up because he has a day job and i have a morning job and a night job, which makes hanging out impossible sometimes

Cillian

these all seem like very sensible conclusions

ellie.

They are. I mean. Its kind of scary im ngl

Cillian

definitely scary. but good i think.

ellie.

im not used to living with anyone which definitely freaks me out

and u know i love my crappy ass apartment

but.... its also exciting idk

Cillian

no i totally get it.

i mean it’s a little different for me bc until recently i didn’t really feel like i ever had a home

but it’s nice. it’s big and it’s kind of scary but it’s also really great.

ellie.

ohhhh wait wait 👀

are u moving in w .. someone?

its such a nice apartment too im ngl

and he doesnt let me pay for anything which wasnt an issue when we were 18 but now it makes me feel ✨very guilty✨

Cillian

fuck tell me about it

and i mean... yeah. he gave me a key for christmas

ellie

omg im so happy for you!!!!

thats so so awesome

fuckin scary too but im excited for u

Cillian

thanks. i desperately trying to not fuck it up anymore than i already have. but i feel good about it.

ellie.

he wants to marry me

Cillian

holy shit

i know you guys dated in high school but you’ve been together how long?

ellie.

a fuckin MOOD but hes lucky to have u. Yall are a good match

Cillian

wow thanks. that’s actually like, good to hear.

i kind of feel like i magically won the best friend/boyfriend lottery or something

ellie.

this time around? About a month. Overall? Like almost three years

but no. What he said was that he still had the ring he’d bought back then

and that he wanted to give it to me whenever i was ready to be asked

it fuckin scares me how much he loves me idk what i did to deserve it

U SAID BOYFRIEND

Cillian

sounds like we really are in the same boat

wait what

ellie.

im so happy

yeah we are. Idk ive never been with anyone who loved me so... up front and decisively

Cillian

it’s fucking terrifying

ellie.

it is

Cillian

like i’m really happy???? but i look at him and my chest gets all tight and all i can think about is how much it’s gonna suck to lose him.

also i’m a bit buzzed on wine right now and this conversation is staying RIGHT HERE eleanor.

i have a rep to maintain

ellie.

THATS LOVEEEEE CILLIANNN

and idk im conflicted. He told me he wanted to pick it up where we left off and i told him i wanted to take it slow, and he agreed

and i do want to take it slow....... but oof falling back to the place where we used to be before It happened has been so easy its fuckin scary

Cillian

and oh my god shut uuuuuuuuuuup

i can’t even imagine.

ace is back in town and that’s been... weird

ellie.

IM NOT GONNAAAA U LOOOVE UR BF

my resolve to go slow with him is getting weaker and weaker i am such a mess

i know. I think i saw her the other day. Hows everything on that front?

Cillian

i don’t know. fine? a little awkward. i don’t have feelings for her still but like. i see her and it reminds me how shitty i was. and still am.

ellie.

and dont worry. Yes people leave but not the ones that really love you.... and i have a feeling u found it

Cillian

i think it’s really bumming him out that like... nobody knows we’re... together.

ellie.

yeah why is that?

Cillian

i don’t know...

telling people makes it like... real.

and jude thinks that by not telling people it makes it easier for me to take it all back and regress or whatever

but i just... ellie i’m like positive that i’m gonna fuck this up. and i don’t know if i want to share it. with anyone really. not when it’s this good.

i don’t know if that makes any sense

ellie.

but its important to him

Cillian

he says it’s fine but i know it’s not.

ellie.

and listen

theres a strong possibility you WILL fuck it up and theres also a strong possibility that you will NOT fuck it up. No one knows.

and theres a possibility that he’ll fuck it up

or maybe something else will come in between you two and pull you apart

no one fucking knows ok dude

Cillian

jesus ellie, not making this any easier over here

ellie.

and you’re wasting the sweetest part of a relationship by thinking about the end

so like. The most u can do is stop thinking so far ahead, stop getting in your own way, and every day make the conscious decision to show him you love him and to not to fuck it up. Thats all any of us can do

Cillian

i don’t deserve him, i really don’t.

i’ve never felt so useless in my entire life.

ellie.

youre not useless

but i get you, i really do

Cillian

i can’t even fucking walk correctly. i can’t work. i can’t do anything

and i don’t know that i’ve ever like, really wanted to be better. but fuck. he deserves more than this.

ellie.

no no dont think like that

if you want to do anything about becoming more educated or some shit like that you have to do it for YOU because YOU deserve better

Cillian

it was hard enough the first time around. i’m just not cut out for it.

ellie.

i just think you havent found the right motivation

Cillian

and what’s that? the right motivation?

ellie.

idk how to describe it

like when i was in college i would think about graduating and being independent and it got me through boring classes and shit like that

so yeah. maybe what you need is motivation

Cillian

i know this is dumb. and it’s gonna get me an eye roll or something. but it’s just so much easier... to not.

ellie.

no its not dumb

but like. sometimes the things that are worth it arent the easy ones

Cillian

i just don’t want to fail again.

ellie.

bad news, youre gonna

Cillian

you’re all sunshine and rainbows this evening

ellie.

im tipsyyy

and also giving it to u straight

ur gonna fail bc failing is just. part of the human experience

but !! ur also gonna succeed my dude

Cillian

i guess you don’t know if you don’t try.

ellie.

also idk i think ur fear is valid and it happens to me too

so i just think itd be bullshit to tell u like <3 ur not gonna fail <3 everything will work out <3

Cillian

yeah. i wouldn’t believe you if you said that anyways.

ellie.

yeah exactly so like

the best thing i can say is that when you think that youre gonna fail just. try to think the opposite

Cillian

easier said than done

but i appreciate the advice

ellie.

yeah i know it is

no problem buddy <3 anytime

#texts → cillian & ellie #discord #i love these two sm

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tfw-no-tennis · 5 years ago

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hunter x hunter thotz so far

soooo ruth and i started watching hunter x hunter woohoo finally! we’re like 10 or so eps in so i decided to collect some thots below on what i think so far (i havent rlly been spoiled so im interested to look back on this once ive watched more)

first off i love gon sm, hes immediately so endearing...hes just a baby!!!! just a little baby boy!!!! hes just so cute and good, im so not ready for him to get put thru the wringer later on as ive vaguely heard happens

the first few episodes were really fast paced which i enjoyed and thought was for the best. the characters came thru really strongly and i feel like we heard juuuust enough about the setting, premise, and what a hunter is

i wasnt expecting leorio and kurapika to show up in the FIRST EP lmao that surprised me. i love so much how the three of them like IMMEDIATELY became a family unit in like 3 eps lmaoooo it was like ok here are 2 parents and their son bam. also leorio and kurapika having a showdown on the boat (which didnt end up happening) was a wild ride

i have like zero fucking idea what a hunter is and the more they attempt to explain the more confused i get. its honestly kind of hilarious how little sense it makes. to be clear this doesnt detract from my enjoyment of the show at all (if anything it adds to it)

oh my god fuckgin hisoka is the worst he hasnt done much but i hate him so much already. good villain writing/design so far, hes so hateable

ruth every time hisoka shows up: WE HATE UR PUSSY BIIIITCH

the character design in this show is....a lot lmao. ruth and i decided its a cross between soul eater, jojo, and one piece in terms of aesthetic. the designs are certainly unique and so many of them are just so ugly hvbjafdbdskgs it reminds me of that post thats like ‘masterpost of jojo characters who look busted as shit’ lmao

i already love this show a lot tbh like the way its structured so far has been kinda atypical for a shounen, at least in terms of fights - we really havent seen a lot of fighting yet. also nen hasnt shown up yet and its reminding me of stands not becoming a thing in jojo until p3 lmao

anyways in litrally ep1 i already loved the 3 main characters we saw...leorio is a wild dude, i love him sm, especially as a fellow medical binch who wants MONEY. like, thats literally me. and kurapika is also wild, like damn they rlly just dropped their backstory in ep 1 huh. like we rlly are jumping right into this

also when leorio said he was a teenager i was like WHAT???? just like evryone else which YEA omfg. i cant believe hes that young lmao. kurapika too

so leorio is one of those 19 yr olds who looks 40 and kurapika is the type of teen who looks like a 12 yr old

and KILLUA i love him sm also....hes an adorable assassin catboy and hes perfect. i love how quickly he and gon hit it off (tiny bfs.....) and how hes just like, this extra as hell 12 yr old with a SKATEBOARD and ASSASSIN SKILLS and then he sees gon and is like guess im gonna fall in love

i gotta talk abt gon again i just love him. hes so polite and cute and kind and good, i just love him...wht a good protag. his motivation is just wild too, hes like well my dad abandoned me to go off and be a hunter (which he isnt even mad abt, what a nice lad) so im gonna do that to see what the deal is

i love how gon (just like the audience) doesnt really know what a hunter does/is and just goes into the exam totally blind lmao. also the fact that his skills seem to include jumping good, being speedy, having the energy typical of a 12 yr old, being a weather sniffer, being nice, and having good instincts/constitution as a result of having eaten random grass and forest shit growing up...amazing.

is this gonna turn out to be one of those things where its like, wow theyve been using nen this whole time without realizing! tht would honestly explain a lot lmao

i really enjoy how like....semi-normal the power levels are rn? while also being all over the place and wack as fucks obvs (like hisoka dissolving that guys arms in his first appearance was A Lot, as well as all the card stuff hes done..). like the part wher that blue guys (evil franky one piece) punches the ground and it leaves a crater and everyones like !!!! wow wtf thats unnatural! that literally threw me off bc that kinda thing is so normal in anime lmaoooo. but i like that thats the starting point bc it leaves a lot of room for power escalation w/out it getting too out of hand

specifially our protags are starting out pretty low on the Shounen Badass scale - especially gon (and leorio, tho i kinda predict he wont be as fight-y? what with him being premed)

i find it kinda hilarious how killua hasnt done too much (aside from murdering those 2 randos in like half a second) despite being so clearly skilled...like when they have to do the 5v5 fight thing in the tower, i wouldve thought hed be the first up cause hes so badass but nope

actually thats what i find interesting - i was expecting all 5 (or maybe 4, we’re in the middle of leorio’s ‘fight’) of the fights to be physical smackdowns but so far nope, theyve been very cerebral. that bodes well, w/how smart the fights have been, bc i doubt the fights will get stale tht way

tho they might be kinda frustrating sometimes - there are times when u DO just wanna see a good ole fashioned shounen beatdown yknow. but we do get enough of that now (and im sure we’ll get plenty more) to satisfy (like kurapika decking fake-franky)

oh also the opening. its so charming and cute and i love the song...its also so hilariously basic and classic - like one of those typical 2000s anime openings where theres stock run cycles of all the main characters and theres a little animation of all the characters fighting together (and that fight doesnt actually happen, its just for the op)

also love that leorios the only one who doesnt fight in the OP, instead getting saved from death by gon lmao. im curious if he’ll end up fighting at all (i assume a little?) and if he’ll use nen (probably healing type nen?)

also i already wanna fistfight ging for abandoning his perfect angel son. also leorio is literally gons dad already, they even look alike wow

that guy hanzo has done basically 0 things so far but i rlly like him already, im curious if thatll change. also sorry for calling u ‘hanzo overwatch!?!?!?!’ upon first viewing my guy

tonpa is str8 up so annoying pls leave u pathetic loser

tho it cracked me up when he and Evil Mr Clean were facing off and starting getting all detailed/shaded and i was like o shit is he actually badass. are we abt to see like a nen battle or st. but no....lmaooo

i found it interesting that leorio didnt really admit to wanting to be a dr at first...hes such a good dude, he kinda just let kurapika think that his motives were superficial and greedy when in actuality theyre selfless

also wanting to be rich can be a rlly interesting character motivation and i love when its done right

oh my god i cant believe it took me this long to mention the hilariously edge ED....like holy shit, its so 2000s, the song sounds like its been re-recorded like 40000 times bc of how bad the audio quality is, or something, idk how to describe music but its hilariously specific in tone and its rlly funny to see shots of the main characters smiling while this screamo whatever plays in the bg....wow.

also s/o to killua for being king of edgy with that ‘tear of blood’ shot

i rlly like how much of the plot, especially the early hunter exam stuff, is moved along simply by gon being a good kind polite boy.

love the fact that he and leorio and kurapika (and later killua) all team up without even saying anything...i love that, most shounen would have them be like ‘che, i cant team up with anyone, i have to prove myself ALONE or my victory wont be EARNED’ or w/e idk. who knows that might happen later but rn i love how they all effortlessly work together (and how they all contribute - without each other they would have all failed at different points)

oh man also killuas first appearence was so funny when he drank a bunch of tonpas poisoned drinks and was like [smirks] tch, loser, im immune to poison. get dunked on. [skateboard away] i love him so fuckgin much

omfg that part where killua looks all shoujo/kawaii and is talking abt how hes gonna kill his family or w/e and gon is just like ^_^? i love they

HOOOOLY FUCK I ALMOST FORGOT, BUT 65% OF THE REASON I MADE THIS POST WAS TO MENTION HISOKAS THEME LMAOOOOO his music being like fuckgin, spanish guitar/traditional mexican type music is sooooo goddamn funny to me for some reason, like the first time it played i was like ok whats going ON with this spanish guitar lmao but then i figured out that its his theme and god thats so funny

hisoka is also so fuckign jojo like he could so easily be in jojo. he and dio would be the fakest best friends ever and would constantly try to kill each other on the lowdown and shittalk each other constantly in private but be super sweet to each others faces. also they would hatefuck. no im not taking criticism bye

i rlly love everyones backstories also, and i find it interesting that weve gotten to hear/see at least some of all 4 of the MCs backstories. theyre all compelling and interesting and i cant wait to dive in further

also calling it now but kurapika is totally gonna get way too absorbed in revenge and get fucked up/disregard their own life (maybe in the style of robin in one piece?) we’ll see but i feel like it aint gonna end well. i could be wrong, i really havent been spoiled at all, thats just my guess

hbahjfbshjf the ep that was called ‘hisoka x is x sneaky’ was SO funny that reads like a dora the explorer ep title

also i had no idea the ep titles were formatted like that w/the x’s and thats rlly funny

ok but the part where leorio - who seems to be pretty bad at fighting - tries to fight hisoka - whose literal first appearence involved him effortlessly dissolving a dudes arms - is so fucking funny. leorio rlly b a premed w/no brain cells....same bro.

also i loved the Cutthroat Kitchen portion of the hunter exam and how not a single contestant was any good at it lmaoooo. do they not have the cooking channel in hxh-verse earth

ok i love how the main characters are all intuitive in different ways depending on their own skills, like how killua can immediately guess that kurapika has never killed anyone before after they didnt kill evil-franky

kurapika joined killua in the Edgy Corner during that part also. like, they both have legit reasons to be edgy, but the shots of kurapika sitting in the darker tunnel part was kinda funny

also killua, a literal 12 yr old, calling out kurapika for being a murder virgin was pretty hilarious

ok also i didnt know that madhouse animated hxh which is rlly funny but w/e i love the animation especially the occasional chibi parts and the facial expressions (like killuas ‘i love murder’ catboy expressions)

oh also when killua murdered those 2 guys and his hand was all vein-y and his nails were pointy, his hands looked like hisokas do...i wonder if thats a legit connection or it hisoka just b getting his nails did

kurapika talking abt how even seeing a regular spider makes them rlly angry was both very sad and kinda funny. kura u have so many issues god bless

kurapikas smackdown on evil blue franky was fuckin dope tho. and the red eyes reveal was SPOICY

rlly love how the individual fights highlights the characters strengths/morals/motivations/whatever....the writing is already really strong tbh

ugh ok ive ranted enough this is a Lot lmao its so disorganized but w/e

basically i love this series so far and im rlly curious whatll happen next. also everything seems pretty chill and upbeat so far (relatively) and i know this shit gets dark and im NOT FUCKING READY.

til next timeeee

#i think readmores are broken? sometimes? anyways i hope thats not the case and if so then im sorry everyone #im gonna schedule this for like 3 am this is just for me to ramble lmao #anyways i need a tag #uhhh #lj watches hxh #hxh #bam there we go

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hyunlixsung · 5 years ago

Text

Drabble Me This

Hey guys I’ve decided to do a Drabble game! My best friend helped me make this list! @himekute Love you bestie!

-One person = one number

-70 numbers available!

-Mainly stray kids but can do side characters from other groups in the Drabble

-You may request a time stamp along with your number

1-“All it took was one look into those eyes and I knew that was the last time I'd be at home for a while." - girl of protective parents runs away/breaks rules for rebel bf

2-“Why is there a duckling floating in the bathtub?" - girl rescues a duckling from side of the road and brings in home. Bf discovers it and they become duck parents.

3-“I remember this feeling. It feels like home." cuddly bf attached to gf hip. Touching her one way or another - backhugs, holds hand, hand in back pocket, arm around hip.

4-“We didn't know when we'd see each other again." Spontaneous kissing. Passionate. Hands through hair. Picks up and pushes against the wall. Sits on counter tops. Nuzzling. Lip biting and bruising.

5-“Do you trust me?"

6-“You don't have to do this. I can change. I'll be better."

7-“When I hear forever, I see their face smiling back at me."

“8-“I didn’t mean to kill her.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m dead!”

“Her voice is still so energetic”

9-“Are we lost?”

“No?????”

“That sounded reassuring”

10-“I don’t really think before I act. It’s part of my charm”

11-“Excuse me? Are you telling me what to do?....thank goodness I have NO idea what I’m doing.”

12-“I'm dying."

"No you're just hungry." (Not looking at them. Looking at tv)

(Lays body across their legs) "I'm not gonna make it."

13-“You have three seconds before I start screaming."

"Listen I-"

"One"

"You don't understand-"

"Two"

"You see the thing is-"

"Three"

SCREECHES

14-“Don’t worry nobody is expecting much. Just be you...actually be you but like less...you.”

“Was that supposed to be a pep talk?”

15-“You couldn’t handle me if I came with instructions”

16-“Oh bite me” I rolled my eyes. I failed to notice his smirk. “With pleasure darling”

17-“When I’m done with you, you’re back is gonna be four different shades of red”

“Not if you can’t catch me”

18-“Take your things and go!...what are you DOING?! Put me down!”

“You said take my things and go!”

19-“Talk dirty to me."

"It's your turn to do the dishes tonight."

"That's not what I meant."

"You broke our dishwasher trying to clean your crocs."

20-“When I say who's cute, you say me!"

"Who's cute?" "Me"

"Who's cute?" "You"

"Who's cute?" "Us"

"This is why I love you"

21-“Iwon’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me”

“You’re the reason im injured!”

“How was I supposed to know you would be dancing around the house mopping and that you would be very jumpy???”

22-“We gotta go NOW!”

“Why WHERES the fire?”

“Listen idk if you wanna deal with them but I’m not in the mood to have purple marks all over my neck!”

23-“Yeah you think you’re tough! Come AT me!”

“This I was a TERRIBLE IDEA!”

24-“This has got to be one of your dumbest ideas you've ever thought of."

"Relax babe." [Wears goggles while chopping onions] "see no tears."

"Did you just cut yourself?"

"I think we need to go to the ER"

25-“What’s the plan?”

“You had a plan?”

“YOU were supposed to have the plan!”

“well I didn’t!”

26-“Hey so I was wondering..."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you just found your next meal."

"Because I just did." Smirks

27-“You’re in trouble now baby.”

“Is is it too late to kiss it better?”

28-“I’m gonna show everyone who you belong to. You’re mine!”

29-“This is a terrible idea.”

“Do you wnat to go home?”

“Hell no! This is the most fun I’ve had in years!”

30-“I know this isn’t the way you wanted your life to turn out, but is that really such a bad thing?”

31-“You know when you said 'let's make tonight fun' being hunted like deer in the back alleys wasnt exactly what I had in mind."

32-“You were about to spend the night reorganizing your spice cabinet."

"I don't need to be attacked like this right now."

33-“I’m cold, I’m

Tired, and I’m going to lose it if I don’t have cuddles and coffee in the next three minutes”

34-“How fast are you?”

“I compete with tiger”

“You mean A tiger?”

“No I mean tiger....my cousin’s rabbit”

35-“If they catch us were dead!”

36 “If I get one more jump scare I’m pulling this car over!”

“Umm THERES A WOLF ON OUR ROOF!”

37-“ Remind me again why I'm doing this."

"Because you love me."

38-“ Out of my way my baby is hurt!”

“39-“I’m not gonna ask again. You stay away from MY girl or I’ll rip You to shreds!”

40-“Your lips look cold can I warm them up?”

....”is that your way of asking for a kiss?”

“Listen linda I’ve been wanting to do this for MONTHS now just let me be smooth for once-“

41-“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Make yourself useful and kiss me.”

42-“So tell me whatcha want, whatcha really want."

"I'll tell ya what i want, what i really really want.

I want to kiss you (or i want to marry you or i want you to be mine)."

43-“Hey babe."

"Yeah?"

"We're out of sugar."

"I'll add it to the grocery list lat-"

Kisses her lips

"Don't worry about it. I got some."

44-“Why do we have 50,000 pillows on the bed. We only need two."

"Listen, when the dust bunny soliders bust into our home we won't be sitting ducks. You'll thank me later."

45-“How many lives need to be ruined before you admit here’s a problem?”

46-“Just because you can see a use doesn’t make something useless!”

47-“I never asked you to save me. And I definitely didn’t ask for the rest of this.”

48-“Stop shutting me out and talk to me for once. PLEASE."

49-“Everybody makes mistakes.”

“Not everyone makes the same mistake three times!”

50-“Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you. Fool me three times shame on you again for taking advantage of my good nature!”

51-“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed the wya they look at you, whisper and chatter when you appear. They think you’re going to rescue them.”

52-“Run away if you want, but know who you are leaving behind and the risk you are taking. They may not be so patient.”

53-“I told you this all those months ago when we first met. I'll say it again. I'm not who you think I am."

54-“Don’t act like you know me. You don’t KNOW me”

“Yes I do!”

“What’s my favorite color then??”

“Easy blue!”

“...that doesn’t prove anything.”

55-“DOES IT LOOK LIKE I NEED TO BE SAVED?? AM I BROKEN TO YOU??"

"No that's not it."

"What is is then?!?!"

"I love you."

56-“I love you on the outside.”

“Wow that makes me feel SOOOO much better”

“Now let me love you on the inside.”

57-“I already said 'I love you'."

"I know."

"Then what do you want?"

"I want you to say it to me again and mean it this time."

58-“I love you”

“...what did you say?”

“Umm I said you cute?”

“Say it again.”

“You cute.” Gets close to her face “say it again”

59-“Can you do something for me?"

“Anything for you baby."

“I want you to kiss me. And not just the sweet little short kisses we give each other. I need those long, hot, passionate deep kisses that'll leave me breathless. I need you to hold me close to your chest and make it feel like you'll never let me go. I need you to-”

60-“When I saw his face, I could see our entire future together. But when I looked into her eyes, all I could see were galaxies and possibilities."

61-“Are you new here? I don't think I've ever seen you before."

"Yeah, we've only met in your dreams. You're even more beautiful in person."

62-“DONT cover your marks. I want people to know you’re not for sale.”

“...so I’m an object?”

“No! Never! Sorry that came out wrong. But you are mine and I’d like people to keep their hands off.”

63-“(member full name)” “Yes (member last name) (y/f/n)?”” We aren’t married?” “Not yet babe”

64-“nope no kids!” “Why not :(((?” “I have to look after YOU!”

65. "Hey baaabe..."

“Yeeeaaah???"

“You never said we were expecting company."

"I never said what-" pauses and stands protectively in front of them. In a deep voice and darkened eyes "What are you doing here?"

66-“okay this is going to seem absolutely crazy but I need you to run!”

“You want me to RUN?? I’m sorry running is a SIN!”

“It’s either that or be eaten take your pick.”

“If I choose eaten does that make me a snack or a meal?”

67-“oh please I bet you can’t even kiss a girl sweetly . All you know how to do is be rough.”

Slams hands on desk. “But you like it rough don’t you? I can see it. But that’ll have to wait for another time.”

Scoff. “Another time? Like you’re gonna get a first time-“

68. "Why did I ever trust you!?!?"

"Baby, don't say things like that! You can trust me!!"

"YOU ATE THE LAST SLICE OF BANANA BREAD WHEN I PUT A SPECIAL STICKY NOTE ON IT."

"I'm sorry 😭😭"

"No this marriage is over."

"We aren't married.”

"You're right we aren't now."

69. "Don't touch me. Don't look at me. Don't think about me. Don't *shaky breath* just *voice breaks* don't."

"Love, let me explain. That wasn't me."

"It wasn't you?? If it wasn't you, then who was it???? Hmm!"

"My twin."

70. "Hey! Do me a favor will ya?"

“Yeah sure what do you - is that, why is there blood on your shirt?

“Kiss me.”

“W h a t?”

Kisses and pulls back after people pass them.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah sure whatever...blushes

#kpop #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids drabble #drabble game #kpop drabbles #kpop scenario #stray kids scenario #stray kids au #stray kids fluff #kim woojin #bang chan #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin

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fuckmogai · 6 years ago

Note

whats the story

OK so i had this friend in hs. actually she was my best friend and we had a whole friend group, etc. senior year she gets this bf (after the longest, most irritating and dramatic sequence of events) and starts ignoring me completely. removing me from group chats, telling me to not come to group events, etc. it was literally the worst and my self esteem was at like zero. and at the end of the year, she and her bf break up and the aftermath is so bad (bc of a stunt she pulled) that she literally drops out of hs to finish her shit online.

so anyways. we graduate, go to separate colleges hours and hours apart, and i dont see her for a year. and i grow. i find a bf who i adore and love and a group of friends who genuinely care about me and try to uplift me. im happy. and towards the end of college she texts me.

she’s changed, apparently. shes gotten a new bf, and a new group of friends, and apparently shes grown. so im like fuck it, whatever. i hang out with her this summer.

it took two weeks for me to realize she hasnt changed at all. shes still a really awful person, just this vicious, judgmental beast. so basically were sitting in her car and she asks me why i didnt reach out to her after she dropped out of high school. and i told it to her straight- “i didnt try to contact you because i didnt want to. you were a bad friend.” bc thems the facts lmao. and she pulls out this excuse: “my bf told me he didnt want me to talk to you.” a damn lie bc i was friends w her bf before they dated. but i was like, ok whatever. lets pursue this line of thinking. so i say, “why does that matter? he doesn’t control you. you made the conscious decision to be horrible to me for six months.” and she tried to say it was bc of her depression. and i told her that that didnt matter. then she told me it was bc everyone hated me and she was embarrassed to be around me. which really stung, but i knew it wasnt true, bc ppl continued to hang out w me after she dropped out.

THEN she tells me that she was assaulted when she was thirteen. and i was completely speechless. she had never told me that before. after a moment of shock i asked how that was relevant to our conversation. she said “im willing to do anything for my partner, even if it means abusing people.” girl BYE. i told her that didnt matter. and she tried to be like “you dont care that i was raped??” and i asked her where i said that.

anyways the conversation devolved into this cycle of me saying “thats not an excuse for your behavior.” bc i just wanted her to own up to the kind of person she is and i mean now ik im never gonna get that but anyways. it just kept going and i just gave up. once someone has it in them that they can emotionally abuse their friends and partners bc of their own issues theyre completely hopeless. anyways i wasted 2.5 years of my life on this dumbass and i wish i could get them back bc i wouldve had way more self esteem and better friends than i did. her recklessness and attitude led to me getting shit from ppl that was undeserved just bc i was her best friend.

and to be perfectly honest, i was afraid of her. i was afraid to stand up to her, afraid to leave her. that conversation was the most taxing one ive had in a very long while. i had to call my boyfriend to have him calm me down, just because i was very close to a panic attack from it. my relationship with her was not healthy at all- it was extremely unbalanced and toxic and horrible and until she figures out how to reflect on herself and her own personality and actions and learn how to treat others, she will never be happy.

so anyways. ppl who try to use their own trauma as an excuse to abuse others are Trash and should not be dealt with.

#ask #this is the condensed version btw #im omitting some details bc she has a tumblr and idk if shell see this but idc anymore bc she cant hurt me

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saintkimora · 7 years ago

Text

well here is how my past 3-5 dates w joel have gone this past week

so! ive been spending the night w him p much every other night. so our 4th date was like 8 days ago. i got there and i THOUGHT we were gonna be in his room again but we were in his room for 2 seconds then he came in like “oh btw my roommates are making us go in the living room and be social” so i was like ..................................................rip i was like here i go its time for the caleb and leeann applebees date 2.0 :/ so we went in to the living room and it was with marissa and lindsey bc his other roommate was out. so everyone was like wtf are we gonna do so after some talking joel decided we would all watch the babadook on netflix since we were talking about the meme and most of us hadnt seen it. i hate scary movies but i figured i could get through it since i had joel to hold on to and since the babadook is like a meme now. so yeah it was fine i got along ok w the roommates and the movie wasnt that scary except for one part. there was one point where i felt like i was starting to shut down a little and i was feeling bad about possibly ruining things again but i asked joel afterwards and he didnt even notice lmao so i dont think it was as bad as i thought

lindsey went to bed halfway through the movie so it was just me joel and marissa by the end. after the movie marissa went into her room and joel and i went back to his room. idk if this next part happened at this point or if it happened on our next date bc its hard for me to keep the timeline straight since it all happens so fast lol so regardless of what day it was this was the next significant thing that happened w me and joel

so i was watching him play overwatch or something and his brother called him on the phone and they had a long conversation about joels financial situation while i was just sitting there lol. so afterwards joel put his head in my lap and explained all his problems to me about how hes so stressed out with money and stuff. and like obv i felt really bad for him bc that sucks. BUT i actually kinda liked it bc i liked how vulnerable and genuine he was being! it made me feel a lot closer to him. then we watched these olds 80s (?) game shows w his head still in my lap (one of them was like some knockoff of snatch game but w regular celebrities instead of drag queens omg) and he had the FUNNIEST commentary about all the old commercials and stuff lol i havent laughed that hard in a LONG time so it was really nice

and idk if this happened that night or the babadook night but i ate his ass again and once again it was a religious experience like his ass is SOOOOOOOO nice i still cant get over it lmao

so then fast forward to the next 2 days later and for whatever reason joel and i werent planning on meeting that night. but he texted me at like 2am telling me he was feeling kinda down about things and how he wished i was there w him rn so i decided to go visit him! and like he kept being like “i dont wanna bother you/i feel bad about always making you come all the way out here for me” and how he wasnt used to guys putting in so much effort and caring about him so much and like...it really wasnt that serious like it wasnt a hindrance to me at all bc i wanted to see him anyways lol but it did make me feel kinda bad for him bc like his old bfs must have been real flops for him to view me just doing decent bf things as like these grand gestures. i have more to say on this but it will be towards the end of the post

so yeah i showered and got there by like 3am. he set up his futon since it was bigger than his bed so we would have more room. and he talked to me about how stressed he was about money and medical school applications and how he felt kinda worthless so i listened to him and comforted him and all that stuff. then we watched the rpdr reunion together and it was SO much fun omg he was shook p much the whole time since it was so iconic. then we went to sleep since i had work in the morning

also like the night after that we were texting and i told him i was really tired and he was like but youre never tired and i was like ya but i had 2 full days of work and i barely got any sleep last night (which was bc i was awake w him until like 5am) and i realized afterwards that it was kinda mean of me to say it bc to me i was just explaining why i was tired but he was already feeling like a burden making me drive all the way there and comfort him so telling him how tired i was probably made him feel bad about asking me for comfort which is NOT how i want him to feel bc i want him to be able to request my help whenever he needs it. so i could tell he was kinda caught off guard by me saying it so i called him and apologized and we cleared it all up. anyways it was just nice to actually call him and discuss the issue and resolve it without any drama. and he said it meant a lot that i even called him to make sure he was feeling ok so it seems that at least i did something right

there was the next date which was pretty much the same as usual. this time i watched him play diablo 3. but this time we also fooled around and he made me cum and then i was trying to make him cum but i fell asleep bc i was so tired asfnkjashdasna i felt SOOOOOOOOO bad when i woke up that morning :( i apologized and he said it was fine and he was tired too but i still felt bad about it

so then last night/this morning was our most recent date. when i got there a friend of him/his roommates named chris was using his room bc he was playing overwatch so i had to hang out w joel marissa and lindsey in the living room. it was extremely nerve wracking and i was sweating like crazy but i tried to hide my nervousness and socialize. lindsey and marissa seem to like me esp bc i brought joel a gift that day (hes like obsessed w friends and i saw a friends t shirt when i was shopping that day so i got it for him lol) also lindsey is iconic bc she is so wacky shes always getting on the floor and doing weird poses and moves and stunts. and marissa is p funny so i like them both. but still having to talk to them was stressful even though theyre both really nice. lindsey walked into joels room later that night when he was laying down and i was sitting on top of him and said she wanted to join and then later when joel was in the kitchen she came in the doorway and asked if i could be her boyfriend asfjkafndsjnkajs now THIS is a cracked queen

so the rest of the night was nice! we watched like 3 drag race s5 eps on amazon video and we did lots of cuddling and stuff as usual. then we went to bed and we woke up and we fooled around and we BOTH came this time. it was difficult for me trying to get him to cum but i had to power through it bc i had to redeem myself after last time. then i watched him play overwatch and then i watched him play destiny. i really enjoyed it! like i was sitting there cuddling a cute guy and watching him play videogames w both of us shirtless like that is literally all i want and i finally have it!

so yeah! its going really well w joel at the moment. we get along really well and i like his sense of humor and its nice having someone w similar interests to mine! and i love playing w his hair and touching his nice soft belly and his thick thighs and playing w his beard. and i looooooooooooooooooooovvvveeeeeee his voice so much omg the way he says certain words is so cute and hes always making cute weird noises and its super endearing. and i LOVE love love being able to cuddle w someone until we both fall asleep and then waking up together! its so nice

he doesnt seem to be losing interest in me yet which is good. however this is the issue that i mentioned earlier that i would come back to. so hes constantly telling me about how hes not used to being w someone that puts in so much effort and treats him so well. so that got me thinking. like...obv he likes me at least a little but i have a feeling he might like me a lot more rn bc he isnt used to being treated so nicely. so like, after the initial novelty of being treated like this wears off im afraid he’ll realize he doesnt actually like me that much (like if it ends up being more of a he likes the way i make him feel more than he actually likes me as a person). so im kinda worried about that but im hoping it doesnt happen obv and that he continues to like me. and again. we’ve been in somewhat social situations together now since i had to talk to his 2 roommates but it really wasnt easy for me at all. and we still havent actually gone “out” and done something, like going out to eat or attending a function together or something. so i still have to wait and see how we’re able to interact in those situations before i can determine whether our relationship will work out. im also still too nervous to eat in front of him so whenever he asks if im hungry i lie and say no even though majority of the time i am actually really hungry :/ rip

so yeah thats p much it! its pretty nice atm, except for the issues i just mentioned. also last night joel told me that one of his hookup buddies was back in town the other day and texted him but he had to turn him down and tell him that he is with someone now (me) so that was nice to know! since he seems to view us as exclusive now. we still havent officially decided we are in a relationship but im really in no rush to do that since its only been like a week and a half so i want to continue getting to know him and stuff. i still do feel that he is gonna lose interest at some point but rn it seems that will be later rather than sooner so i am just trying to take it day by day. im also worried about greece since ill be gone for a month so it is very possible that he might meet someone else that he likes more during that time which would really suck. but im kinda just operating on the assumption that its what is gonna happen that way if it does happen i wont be too shocked and if it doesnt happen ill be pleasantly surprised

so yeah thats it, overall its going really well and im having a lot of fun with him! hopefully things continue on this path and we get even closer bc i really like him so far

#personal

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norman-reedus-gossip · 8 years ago

Text

Last Bulk and its a long one

~~mod~~ everything else concerning this topic will be kicked to the modblog. ill try to add to the comments today. i feel like i got ran over so i may not be on at all. sorry for slacking on you and for probably being a world class asshole today. please keep it medium.

Anon: What kind of woman ALLOWS “her boyfriend” to make her hideout so she’s not seen with him? What kind of man DOES that? Be happy for them all you want. I think they look and act like morons. As “adorable ” as people think he is , he seems lately like a total douchebag. Good thing all the fucking booze he consumes gives him the balls to “allow” her be photographed with him. And how fucking desperate does one have to be to let themselves be treated like that? Typical Hollywood. I give this a week.

Anon:Okay, NOW do you think he will make an announcement on Jimmy Fallon about DK? Or that Jimmy will mention it? ~~mod~~ dont know dont care. as long as we get some couch action im good.

Anon:No new stories talk about the trip to italy right before dk dumped pacey. They dont talk about how long nr knew pacey before sky. Wonder how much that cost

Anon:I’m so sad mod….. 😢 Twd’s cast are finally coming to my country and i thinks that is very hard for they bring Norman because he is very expensive…. I mean, Norman is so rich, why he charge that much??! 😢😢 (Sorry for the english) ~~mod~~ aww maybe its not the money but more if he has time. where are they coming? you english is awesome

ahauntedfool: My two cents. I feel badly for disappointed fans who have invested so much time, energy, and possibly even money, on their beloved celebrity, only to see him acting in a way they do not agree with. That must be very hard for them. Maybe I can offer some hope and positivity?I believe no two relationships are alike, and none are black and white. Who really knows everything about their relationship besides them? But it does seem like they are together, and if that is the case I hope they make each other happy. I truly mean that. Love is not something we can plan for, but life is short and happiness is everything. I am still a fan of N, I enjoy many of his films and photographs, his charisma is pleasing, he makes me laugh and he makes me smile. There are some things I don’t like about him, but that’s how it is with people. We are all complex and flawed individuals, and in our imperfections there is beauty. I don’t know much about D yet, but I think I’ll check out her work, watch a few of her films and read some interviews. Maybe I’ll learn something about her that inspires me in some way. With that being said, I think they are an attractive couple, and I love seeing him smile like that. They appear happy in those photos and I hope they are. Maybe this relationship will be good for both of them. Oftentimes we learn from our partners how to be better people.

Anon: Wait for the other shoe to drop on fallon, the baby shoe, lol. He has an extra 0 on his paycheck now, so dk can stay in ny and give up her career while nk goes to ga and cons to keep her in designer duds and pap shots shopping and fashion shows. She can laugh with jdms wife about ppl who pay $$$$ to wait in line for a pic, and we get crappy cgi on twd ~~mod~~ come on the deer really wasnt that bad, if you squint it almost looked real

awesomebrokenheartuniverse: What the fucking fuck??? This is beyond baffling. The public make out session. Even as a teenager I didn’t make out on the street for 30 min. They clearly wanted to be seen. Have we been fooled by NR with some fake persona all these years? Has he drastically changed due to DKs influence? Is he whipped? Is he tired of keeping it a secret and overjoyed to let it all hang out? Does she have dirt on him and forcing this on him (sounds crazy but ya never know)? Is this a juvenile shit show for publicity to benefit both of them? So many questions! Maybe it’s not our business but when they flaunt themselves like this they are kinda asking for it. This is like reality show in your face over the top attention whoring. I feel embarrassed for them. At least she is age appropriate. I don’t know a lot about DK, but the opinions here are largely unfavorable. JJ seems like a decent guy. Why would he stick with her 10 yrs if she’s such bad news? I keep remembering a quote from AL where he said something like “the longer I know N, the more he is an enigma.” NR seems totally all over the place to me right now.

Anon: There’s a video of them kissing now. ~~mod~~ ok

Anon: Hey mod! Sorry to keep adding to this but I’m SO aggravated. Now she’s acting like CS posting pics from his apartment. An her fans are saying to stop bringing up Norman an respect her privacy to people. She doesn’t want privacy! Hence the photo! An the photos taken of them on the street the other night for a hour. If I’m w/ my bf I dont stop and post on SM things from his house. She wants everyone to know she finally got Norman. When will this “relationship” end 😭 personally he deserves better

Anon: Why would Norman be so open about his relationship? This PDA doesn’t fit to him, he never showed so much of his relationship, making out on the street, like in the video it looks like they were making a show. They just stood in the same street walked around kissed hugged just to make a show for the pap, my guess they called him, don’t know why

Anon: Re: the “lie.” Doesn’t it look like Norman’s reps said “friends” because of JJ? Timeline: Pic of Norman and DK at the car looking friendly with story about vacation. Rep said “friends.” Weeks later: picture of JJ kissing and snuggling with another woman at a restaurant. Stories: He’s moved on!! Two - three days later, Norman/DK are completely public. The “lie” was so JJ could say he moved on first. It had nothing to do with manipulating Norman’s fans. Anon: Daily mail has just released an article on NR and DK confirming their relationship and they’ve got a few new pics in there and in one of them NR is looking directly at the camera. I guess we know for sure it was planned and a bit staged now.

Anon: Mod - this was an absolute publicity stunt but I don’t understand why. It makes him look like the biggest possible lying fake asshole alive so why would he want that image? I’m secretly hoping this is some kind of early April Fools day joke.

Anon: Mod when do you think NR and DK became more than just friends? ~~ mod~~ would you be offended if i said i have no idea becasue i dont care enough about them as a couple to even guess. sorry if i sound like a jerk im still not feeling well

Anon: I hope Norman doesn’t think we’re just going to “get over it”? It doesn’t work that way. There is a difference between lying about who you ARE and just simply having a girlfriend. (I won’t even go into how fake SHE is) You Lied to the people that supported you Norman. This isn’t just jealous fangirls. This doesn’t just go away in a few weeks.~~mod~~ im sure he knows it isnt just gonna go away in a few days

Anon: Woke up today with tears in my eyes. Every day I used to go check out all he cool Norman/Daryl fan art on instagram. Now I can’t even look at him.~~mod~~ dont cry anon we can find you someone else to look at.

Jan: Listen up To those deeply upset and disturbed by Norman’s recent actions, please read this - Nothing in your life has actually changes NOTHING! You still breath the same air, work at the same place, hang with the same friends and are surrounded by people that love and care about you in REAL LIFE. You have never, nor will you ever, know the real man behind Norman Reeds and thats probably for the best. All that has happened is that the fantasy you have of him in your head is altered, but you have the power and control to change that narrative back at any point, back to thinking he is kind and sweet and honourable and all the other things that gave you comfort and joy, use him for whatever purpose you want - because I have news for you as a fan/consumer of his brand he is just USING you. He is clever, he will smile and be nice as pie if you are paying for his time, (he is a professional actor), what he is actually like once the show is over, behind closed doors, is probably a very different story that really would shock and upset you. He is part of an ugly dark industry and his values are probably way off the mark to what any of us would consider acceptable. The clues are all around us, the fake hollywood friends he has, the partying showbiz life he leads, his love of attention and the limelight, the blind after blind about his shitty behaviour. It does upset me to see people defending him with the best of intentions, when they have no clue that he doesn’t deserve defending, he is surrounded by wealth and privilege and I highly doubt he cares one bit what faceless avatars on the internet say about him when he is home surrounded by his millions of dollars and fake narcissistic hollywood friends. Me, I love Daryl and I will always love Daryl, he is a real sweetheart and the subject of many a fantasy, Norman not so much, I could never fantasise about someone like him -a shallow and highly privileged actor who can have any beautiful woman he desires at the drop of a hat, and knows it. His priorities are clearly material things, this set up relationship with DK that will be played out in the public eye will just be linked to and part of that agenda in some weird way…(I do have my theories as to why he is so keen to play along with it, but best kept to myself) So seriously people go back to your Daryl (or nice sweet Norman) fantasises… Whatever helps you sleep at night…

Anon: You know what’s even worse than finding out he’s a lying sneaking jerk? That he let her troll his fandom for the whole year. He let us try to defend him the whole time when it was all true. It just shows that his fans don’t really mean anything to him. He didn’t care that she was playing with us and mocking us. It’s just so unbelievable that he is the complete opposite of what he made us believe.

Anon: sorry but I feel betrayed. And before I get jumped on it’s not jealousy or that he can’t have a private life, it’s about thinking one thing about Norman and admiring that person for so long then suddenly finding out that it was all a lie. He made us think that he was our friend but he’s not. he’s laughing at us behind the scenes watching how we buy into the image that he made us think was the real him. it’s not him now. he’s a phony. anyone want walker stalker tickets? don’t want to meet him now ~~mod~~ no need to be sorry anon lots of people are feeling all kinds of way right now. i hear craiglist is a great place to sell those

Anon: God Mod it just breaks my heart to see how fake he looks. Allowing himself to be papped is something I never thought he would do. I admired Norman for being down to earth and real. Where is that man now? He’s gone. He sold out. He’s not who he claims to be. Honest? Lol nope. So this is the real Norman we have been tricked into supporting? He looks just as fake as we know she is. It’s so sad and disheartening and I never thought it would happen to him. He’s just like all the rest. :( So sad.

Anon: Wonder how this will work when he starts filming in May will she go to Georgia she doesn’t seem the country girl

Anon: Mod why do think NR’s reps have the statements that they were “just friends” 3 weeks ago only for them to walk done the street holding hands and kissing now? Do you think NR’s reps didn’t know about the relationship? Or he didn’t consult with them before going public? Or do you think it was all planned? I’m just really confused about the whole thing!

Anon: Sorry…this is a long one… People seem to focus on others being upset because he lied. But I think a lot of people are upset for 2 main reasons. One, they really don’t like DK. It is hard to swallow watching someone you like, date someone you hate. I had a good guy friend date a girl that the rest of us LOATHED. She was just a horrible person and we were all so disappointed when he started dating her. When we asked him why, he just replied, “well, she is not like that towards me”. Um..ok…so since she’s “nice” to you, it’s ok that she is a a-hole to everyone else? It lasted all of 4 months, but I just remember we were all so disgusted. So, anyway, I think that plays a big part in the fan hate. Fans love Norman and think he is wonderful/nice/kind/good to his friends and fans and they can’t understand how he could fall for someone who is the opposite of all those things. The second reason is the cheating. Let’s face it, this didn’t start AFTER she split from JJ. We would be naive to believe that. Personally, I think it started during the filming of SKY. They are together constantly, in the middle of nowhere, I am sure they got very close. Even if there was nothing physical, they could have been having an emotional affair…which is often worse than physical. Although we can argue that with his schedule and her being with JJ, they didn’t actually see each other a lot after filming SKY was over, they still could have been texting and calling, thereby continuing the connection and closeness that was formed during filming. Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if someone DID see them hooking up in a NYC bar (before the break-up with JJ). If they did in fact have an emotional connection, add a lot of alcohol to that and you can definitely lose control for a minute. Obviously, this is my own speculation, but no matter when the physical aspect of their relationship developed, I truly believe, the affair started long before it. As for the people talking about a possible pregnancy. I can see it. Even though Norman is pushing 50 and may not want a baby, as some people pointed out, it may not be up to him. There are many ways for a woman to “accidentally” get pregnant. Someone, I think it was PR wife, mentioned that DK’s star faded long ago. She is definitely someone who will do anything to bring attention to herself. Well, having NR’s baby would certainly bring the spot light. It may be far fetched but I think DK is really sketchy and I would not put it past her. I guess only time will tell if there is a baby as well as how long this thing will last. We shall see…

Anon:I gave a heads up months ago that Diane had a plan and that she and Norman were playing out a fantasy as if they were living their film “Sky”. Health issues included. But guess what comes next (not the end) ;)

Stephanie Kumke: Maybe it´s not DK in the photo, but come on, a naked bully with lights on it with the message “ Waking up to good News”… ~~mod~~ maybe she got a job that wasnt in Europe

Anon: Ya’ll need to be realistic. Daryl isn’t the cash cow of TWD anymore. Not sure if no one sees this but the ratings last week dropped. Why weren’t they higher? I mean Daryl was in it a lot yet they weren’t as good as the week before. I’ve noticed whenever Carol and the Kingdom are on the ratings go up. Seems like she’s more of a cash cow now. She makes more viewers tune in. So I really don’t get when people say Daryl is the No 1 cash cow. It’s not true. It may have been years back, but not anymore

Anon: It disgusts the shit out of me when I see people support their relationship and are happy and even say DK is gorgeous. Wtf NOTHING on this woman is gorgeous. She’s manipulative, attention whore and snobby. I can’t believe his fans (not all of them) support her. She’s the worst nightmare. Norman went down to her level. She is unsympathetic to fans, Norman clearly isn’t the man he claimed to be. Not sure if I’m more disappointed or disgusted because he played all of us the whole time for his image

Anon: I think some people are not getting it…NR didnt own anyone anything but he was not coherent and yeah he deceived and lied when he said he doesn’t like cheaters and loves honest people. Regardless of course he have the right to date who the fuck he wants. not my problem. now the way he did it, for someone that calls himself honest is very questionable when you can see CLEARLY how this pics were staged. When you stage pics like that and you claimed for years being the opposite of course people are going to question who you are and who was the person they have been a fan off all this years. People defended him exactly from this behavior. People defended him when people called him sell out and asshole and manwhore and honestly he just proves the others right. This have nothing to do with DK this have to do with him as a person and how he carries himself. He didnt assume her before because he was sticking his dick somewhere else too and the other kick him to the curb.

dandelioncherokee : Interesting. Norman and Diane are not looking AT EACH OTHER in one single picture. A loving couple would do that ALL THE TIME. One word. FAKE. I honestly haven’t got a clue WHY ALL THIS. Oh Norman,you had it going all good for you.Now I can only pray that the universe will give you another chance,so you can try to fix this. Kisses to you,mod ❤️hope you are alright.~~mod~~ i feel like i got kicked down 10 flights of stairs.. you flirting makes me feel better

Anon: I was just thinking about the happy anniversary post and the ‘comment’. Turns out the DK part of that was true and it makes me wonder how many of the other parts were also true. Maya Angelo said when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Eyes opened, I get it now and I’m just here for wicked gifs, and weird banter. Good things always come from bad, you’re the good thing Mod.

Anon: Pic look good, his fans on ig congrat to him so lol. Congrat to him too. We know here it so far from jealous but it is about who is this guy. Why he won’t hint their relationship at all.jdm said I think he’s single. So he happy it’s foiod but it different story from why he lid like liar, completely behave another and then be another man. And I didn’t see any pic that he look at her face. He smile to ppl. Wake up idiot fans! ~~mod~~ Please dont call fans idiots we all have our opinion

Anon: Another blog says they KNOW that Norman and DK were a thing since Sky. They supposedly have a source but won’t reveal it, they’re also saying no one knows if cheating was involved because no one knows the status of DK and JJ’ relationship. DK moved to NYC in late 2015 to be with JJ AFTER sky was finished. They bought a home together in LA in early 2016. So if her “source” is correct than yes, they were cheating all along, which makes the dec 2015 rumor seem not so false. They’re disgusting

Anon: Who knows…Maybe they both have an agreement? Maybe he agreed to help her with her image by doing this. He may think what’s the harm in helping a friend?? I am soooooo not on her side…I’m just trying to ration it out. Unfortunately we may never know. I still haven’t seen pics of them full on kissing. That one pic where they’re close looks like he was lighting a smoke. Hand holding? Even friends do that. He seemed pretty drunk anyway. Ugh and her IG? Tries to be like N & HC. UMM no.

Anon: Thinking if the 2 of them together makes me so ill but hey…He’s a big boy. I’ve been going thru the stages of grief (as stupid as that may sound) and I don’t regret smashing my DVD copy of Sky! Didn’t much like it anyway lol now I’m past the anger and just sad. I’m not as mad at N as I was a few days ago but I still think DK is a snake. I hope that he guards his heart from her nasty ways! I also think the whole thing with the paps is strange. N is very impulsive and sometimes too too nice!

Anon:Hahaha I share the same first name as DK, so at least I know when Norman is having sex he is screaming my name. Seriously tho at least she is age appropriate and who cares anyway. You are a fan of his work or not no matter who he is boning.

Anon:Is it me or is Norman avoiding liking DK IG posts? I believe he may have been drunk that night and is regretting what he did

rebellacycle:Are you going to watch jimmy Fallon tonight ? Wonder if he will talk about the new relationship. Or just TWD~~mod~~ i will probaly be asleep. probaly just talk about he twd

Anon:

Norman and Diane are happy and in love so the haters have already lost ✌🏼

Anon:

I have a question for those fans who keep saying things like “Be respectful of Norman’s private life!”…. But they’re the ones who are (unnecessarily!) publicizing it. They staged and sold pics and video. In PDA, the P doesn’t stand for Private. If they are not respecting their own relationship, why should we? Also is talking about Norman’s penis size respecting his privacy? So what exactly do y'all mean? They don’t seem to want that. They want people to talk, comment, click the links.

Anon

:Feel better soon Mod! I don’t understand something about the whole DK Shitshow. If this is legit (and not just publicity) then how come no other gossip sites are picking it up??? TMZ doesn’t have anything to say about it after they just ran the garage pics/got his denial?? It looks like People ENews DM UsWeekly and a few less known sites are the only ones going with it, so how come??? I don’t get it! I don’t understand how Norman can be one thing one day and the TOTAL OPPOSITE the next!??! WTAF

Anon: The photos and the video of NR and DK … Looking at it I just feel DK is walking with his trophy. She wants everybody to see her new toy, her little puppy that she will manipulate as she pleases. DK wants everyone to see his new trophy !! While NR smiles like a fool who does not understand the situation. Yes he became the DK puppet

anon:

I appreciate this blog and your work, but you have to moderate some comments that appear on your site. I read comments accusing Norman of lust after teenage girls. This is defamation and it is very serious. It is unbearable to see all this hate and these lies dumped on an actor we have supposed to love. It is all the more intolerable that currently the world is experiencing serious problems. Thousands of people are dying of hunger, London and Paris are the target of terrorists, but some people prefer to waste their time to dumped their hate on Norman. Treat him as if he was a criminal just because he’s in love and he lied because he didn’t want to reveal his private life in the press.I doubt that you post this message on your blog but I needed to say. Many of us live very difficult moments and see all this hate for a simple relationship is ridiculous. Some may express their disappointment but have no right to invent lies and spill their hatred. Sorry for my aproximative English, I hope to find a warm and funny blog. Good luck to you Mod….

~~mod~~ just a few things. 1.tumblr rarely lets me delete comments, the tumblr app hates me…2. the quickest way to get your post deleted is to say “you probaly wont post this”.. i hate that.

Anon:Hope you feel better soon mod. This is for when you do the bulk: at this point I think I’d be happier finding out he did accidentally get her pregnant one drunken night but actually can’t stand her and did this for appearances only and they aren’t really a thing. At least that way he would be the same guy who just made one huge mistake while intoxicated. One night stands happen all the time. But being with her?? it changes everything about him and it makes him a liar.

Anon:

been two days I haven’t looked at anything to do with N and I still can’t get over this. He’s a complete fake. short of telling us he was abducted by aliens and this was an imposter in his body I will never understand. ’s like he just revealed that he is the opposite of everything he made people believe for the past seven years. Liar. Fake. Hollywood. Stupid. Ingenuine. That’s what this makes him look like now. It makes me want to cry. someone say it was all a nightmare. where’s the real norman

Anon

:Happy Today, Mod! I hope your body parts will all in good working order soon. Please take care of yourself. The drama of Norman Reedus means nothing in the long run. Kind people like you who take the time to create community are what matters!

Anon:If DK’s marrage broke down because she cheating then norman gotta run far and fast, they cheat WITH you they cheat ON you. You should look at enty and type in Norman reedus/Diane Kruger this shit been stirring for a while Anon:Will Jimmy Fallon grill Norman about DK? ~~mod~~ dont know

Anon

:Have you seen the pap walk pics & videos?? Omg I’ll swear DK slipped a Mickey Finn in Norman’s whiskey. For him to agree to call the paps on himself, something was totally wrong with him! I don’t recognize that Norman. DK is destructive & opportunistic. She manipulated her way into his life from day one when she recommended him for the SKY role. She is as TOXIC as they come! Wtf’s he doing with her? He’s in self-destructive mode, I pray he comes to his senses in Ga surrounded by good ppl.

Anon:Diane manipulates the media and manipulates Norman. An avid woman who likes to manipulate her little world. How can people defend it? I saw her in truth, she behaves like a haughty princess.

Anon:I no longer see goodness in Norman.

Anon

:Just canceled my trip to San Fran wsc. I was gonna meet him but I can’t even look at him nevermind meet him. How are we supposed to pretend he’s the same guy? He’s NOT what he told us he was! It’s NOT bc of a gf but 1) that it’s HER of all ppl (she is the epitome of famewhore sell out and no one I’ve talked to who met her have ANYTHING nice to say) and 2) He LIED about everything. He’s not any of the things we thought, made his reps look stupid and sold out to let himself be papped. WTF is that

anon

: Personally I’m wondering if she got him drunk, got him to agree to this to make the rumors look true, and that he was too wasted to care. This is NOT the guy we know and love. This is also coming from a mutual friend of his not just some fan. he never calls the media, like TMZ on himself. He’s a private, fairly normal dude, and that’s why I think DK set it up. To boost her American publicity and get noticed for work here. Sad, sick, and sketchy.

Anon: I’m definitely over reading about it Mod but I don’t understand how anything is gonna go back to the way it was anyway so I vote to keep it on the main blog. He’s a lying jerk and this is what we have to see now every day because how can we not if he’s seriously with her. I think I’m gonna have to quit being his fan altogether bc I can’t take her I don’t want to see her ridiculous face every single time he goes anywhere ~~mod~~ here the thing its an N blog, i dont have to post anything with her in it. im really good at cropping things out of pics.

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vinegarcoffin · 4 years ago

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hi folks. im coming back to this account. a lot of things happened.

this february i ran away from my family’s home to live w/ Sunn (my bf). we were hoping his landlord would let me live there since im his partner and shed previous allowed couples to live there but unfortunately after a week where i was staying there she decided she didnt want me there bc she was very strict about zoning laws and didnt tell anyone abt this beforehand so i was effectively homeless.

i stayed with my friend Earth for abt half a month during which time the landlord was “””deliberating””” whether or not she’d actually let me live there. Sunn and i were sure she’d say yes (she’d indicated such herself) but she decided to spring it on us that, due to laws she never elaborated upon, it was literally illegal for me to live there even though i was his partner and shed allowed partners to stay there before. (i feel i should make it clear that he was living in a separate part of her house that she rented out to people so the laws probably had smth to do with how many people were allowed to live in one house. i still never found out what exactly those laws were and she never elaborated.)

i always had a roof over my head (many times staying illegally w/Sunn and being very sure that his landlord never saw me) but i changed places of residence i think three times during that span of time. it’s very hard to keep count. i was staying (illegally) with three other people (they were aware of my presence and let me stay with them, i just wasnt allowed to) when quarantine happened.

even though I wasnt living with Sunn at that time, i was still able to see him bc my housemates understood the situation and were okay with us breaking quarantine for that reason (we were all rly conscientious abt social distancing and hand-washing and cleaning and that kind of thing), and since i cant drive, i needed someone else to buy my groceries for me, so Sunn would take me on grocery trips with me. and since he had a v small fridge and i didnt have a lot of space for food at the place i was staying, we had to make grocery trips rather often. after going grocery shopping we’d spend some time at either my place or his (ostensibly to put away groceries, really bc we wanted to be around each other because we were both losing our goddamn minds and being around each other was the only thing that gave us any idea where our minds even were.)

i made another unofficial move after that and then right when i was going to graduate, i moved into what was going to be my official long-term place of residence with another roommate. i didnt get to see Sunn very much during this time and i honestly hated it a lot. the roommate was kind of an unstable person and he didn’t take the pandemic very seriously, which rly scared me, but he was never violent or anything so we just stayed out of each others ways.

during that time i impulsively threw away my benzodiazepines bc i was scared i wouldn’t be able to get my therapist to write me another prescription (this was when healthcare was still closed). withdrawals were shit and i honestly wanted to return to this blog during that time but i’d forgotten the email associated with it (whoops) and couldn’t log in. (i’ve since remembered the email hence why im here.) i stopped self harming the same day too, more or less bc my boyfriend told me to stop. that was really hard bc it was one of my few sources of pleasure and i had barely anything else i enjoyed. Sunn introduced me to 100 gecs during this time and i listened to their album 1000 gecs pretty much every day, sometimes multiple times in a row. i didnt get to sleep til 5 AM most nights bc of withdrawals and insomnia resulting therefrom.

in May i finally got to start HRT (i was supposed to in March but the doctors at the LGBT center i had gone to to make my appointment decided not to let me because covid). i’ve been on it for three months now.

i relapsed after a month or so after realizing i was not a functional human when i was sober and i didnt like who i was when i was sober. fortunately by then i’d had a phone meeting with my psychiatrist and she was able to give me another script for klonopin. by that point Sunn had moved into the apartment with me (the agreement was that he’d do so after graduating - we were both graduating that year - the only reason he waited was bc he couldn’t handle moving and his school workload at the same time, which was understandable). he didn’t like that i was relapsing and i disliked it even more but we both understood why i did it and i havent tried to get clean since then and i probably never will.

we were more or less stable and more or less happy for like two months until our roommate - we’d all agreed we’d live there together for at least a year - decided to move in with his partner and left us with absolutely nothing in the way of help w/finding another roommate or anything and no apology at all.

we tried finding a new roommate and got some promising leads until our roommate dropped on us that he had signed a thirty-day notice for the lease to end and unless we were able to give proof of income (which we hadn’t been required to before but were suddenly required to now ig), we’d have to leave. he told us this ten days after he’d done it. he��d done that w/o our knowledge or consent. we weren’t able to make that happen so we looked into other housing but couldn’t find anything before the day we had to be out.

fortunately Earth and their family were willing to let us stay with them again (they’d recently bought a trailer that they were going to keep in the backyard and rent out to anyone they knew who wanted or needed to stay there). the trailer was sort of a disaster; we had no running water (only bc the water wasn’t working, they didn’t keep us in those conditions on purpose) and the AC died during a historically bad heatwave. the place we had been looking into moving into with a REALLY cool roommate we found that said we would probably get to live there turned us down bc although Sunn had found a job by that point and both the prospective roommate and I both have SSI (we’re both disabled) we didn’t make QUITE enough money for them.

we finally found a place and we moved into it yesterday. we have a roommate whose name is Izzy. they’re very stable and i don’t think they’re going to do anything awful. i’m afraid of them but that’s just bc i’m afraid of just about everyone i don’t know too well. Sunn’s at work three days of the week (he works from home two of the weekdays and he gets weekends off) and i’m here to cope with the isolation and also reblog trauma stuff that i don’t feel comfortable reblogging on my main blog. i think that’s all i have to say.

#vinegar.txt #sorry it's long #self harm mention /#drugs mention /#relapse mention /#idk how else to tag...it hasnt been a good year for me.#it hasnt been a good year for anyone but i've had some extra stuff piled onto it that i dont think most people have had

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saintkimora · 8 years ago

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ok, here is a full account of what happened yesterday and the new events from today. caleb if you are seeing this please respect my privacy and stop reading now

ok so it started the other day. caleb texted me at night saying he wanted to talk to me about something serious the next day. i asked what it was about and he said he just wanted to be friends but i didnt read too much into it bc he is impulsive so i figured he would come to his senses the next day

so then yesterday happened. i had just gotten out of sociology at like 10:40am and i saw that he had texted me all these things about breaking up. then when i got to my car he called me on the phone. he then proceeded to break up with me over the phone. his reasoning was that since hes prob moving in a few weeks, he wanted to stop being boyfriends now that way when he does leave itll hurt less than it would, so like easing himself out of the relationship basically. i think its a stupid idea

so these are the issues i had. the first was that he broke up with me over the phone, not even in person. and like i was crying over the phone and his tone was just like very cold and detached and business like and that really hurt me bc he obv knew i was crying but i didnt feel any sympathy from him whatsoever. like if he was crying i would obv be comforting him and trying to make him feel better not talking like a robot. another thing that hurt was that he gave up on the long distance relationship before we could even try it. it made me feel like i was so worthless and unimportant that he didnt even feel like putting forth the effort to make our relationship work. and the fact that he did this all over a 10 minute phone call on his way to the gym. and then like 20 min after he had the NERVE to post a video on his snap story of him at the gym saying “feeling so good *blushing smile emoji*” like that really hurt my feelings and when i told him that later he was like “oh stop making everything about you it was just how i was feeling after working out” but like? i know he obv wasnt saying that he felt so good about breaking up. but what bothered me was that like after he broke up w me, i was a mess i was literally crying all day and i couldnt do anything but cry i was so upset. and then here he is just going on with his day like its another normal tuesday. like the fact that he was capable of being so happy not even a few hours after breaking my heart made me feel like i was nothing, like it was just an errand like “oh im gonna break up with perry then go to the gym lol” and the fact that he did it over the phone just made me feel so insignificant like i was nothing to him and that really hurt. and like ive tried to be the best boyfriend i can be for him and i try to do everything he asks of me so for him to just break up with me in such a dismissive way makes it feel like he doesnt even care

so i was crying in my car, like really bad like i was BAWLING. so i went to the student counseling center and asked for a crisis meeting and i got set up w this counselor named josh. he was nice and tried to help me calm down and focus on orgo. it was nice to have someone to talk to i guess

so then i went home. he called me again to like try to explain himself but only made me feel worse. he was like “you know when i move im not gonna be able to see you everyday and cuddle with you and fall asleep on your chest anymore” and that just made me sadder and i was crying again on the phone. then later we were texting and he was like denying breaking up with me. like, you said you wanted to just be friends and you explicitly said that you didnt want to be boyfriends anymore so how is that not breaking up??? and he said “i was trying to have a conversation with you but all you did was cry.” with the period to show how serious he was. and it really hurt me when he said that bc it felt like he was mad at me and using me crying against me, like i somehow did something wrong by crying. again if he was the one crying i would not be holding it against him like that so i really wish he didnt say that bc it made me feel bad for being emotional which should not be something to feel bad about. and at the end of the call he didnt say i love you like he always does so that hurt my feelings as well

and like i took away the hearts from his contact name and changed my phone backgrounds since they were pictures of him and that just made me really sad

i skipped psych and anatomy lecture but i couldnt skip my anatomy practical. i cried when i was backing up my car to leave bc i saw the “hi <3″ that he wrote in the dirt on my back windshield a while ago and it just set me off. so i got to school and i was planning on having this be the dropped grade so i wasnt like worried but i got a 90 anyways so that was nice. the prof was like “perry whats wrong you look depressed” and i was like im just a little sad today and he was like why and i was like “bc my significant other broke up w me” (i used s/o bc idk how my prof is about those things so i didnt wanna say bf). he told me this story about how in his senior year of college he had such bad mono it was misdiagnosed as hodgkins disease so he was given 18 months to live and his gf of 4 years left him after finding out. so he told me “perry, girls are like a bus. if you miss one, another one will come along in 15 minutes. if i had daughters i would tell them the same thing about guys” so that was nice that he tried to cheer me up. then when i was leaving from the other room (bc we leave our stuff in the other room during the practical) the TA came to me from the main room and wished me luck on my finals so that was nice of him

so then i went home. then at 10pm i met w caleb in person in his car. we talked and at first he would not let me get a word in and he just kept defending himself and what also upset me was that he thought the reason i was so upset was that he was moving and he was so defensive like “i wish i could stay here but i have no choice i cant afford to live here its too expensive” and like that is not what upset me!!! i already knew he was moving ive had time to accept it what upset me was how he broke up w me for no reason w almost no warning and did it in such a cold way. and like the way i see it is since hes leaving instead of easing ourselves out of the relationship to stop us from getting hurt when he actually leaves (which wont happen bc itll hurt regardless), i figured we should make the most of our time together and enjoy each other as much as possible since we’ll have plenty of time to get over each other AFTER he moves. so when i told him my point of view he was like “i wish i thought of it like that, im really bad at this” so that was how i resolved the issue. he was hesitant about keeping the bf label but i told im i really wanted to and i didnt see a point in taking away the label now anyways. i also told him i at least wanted to try long distance instead of giving up before it even happens. i dont remember what he said to it though lol i was too emotional. but yeah the beginning of the convo just felt like he was berating me and i started to cry again bc i dont like it when hes rude to me like that

then he told me that im so sensitive i could see a squirrel in the road and cry and i had to explain to him that i am not a sensitive and emotional person! im normally v reserved w my emotions like ive only cried maybe 3 times the past 8 years and that im just emotional when it comes to him bc i care about him so much

another thing that bothered me was that he said every relationship teaches a lesson, and from ours he learned not to rush into things. i dont get that bc yes we did rush but that wasnt really a bad thing? like he wouldve moved regardless so taking things slow wouldnt have changed that. and like since we rushed into things it will hurt more when he leaves since we are closer than we would be if we took it slow but also like, if we didnt rush we wouldnt have gotten so close and had so much fun together in the first place. so imo the benefits of getting so close so fast vastly outweighed the pain of him leaving

so everything would be great except for this next part. he told me the easing out of the relationship thing was bc he got the advice to do that from his mom and leeann. so when i got home i made a post calling leeann toxic and his mom stupid for interfering in our relationship. and like yall can tell that obv i was kidding and just exaggerating for humorous effect like i dont really think his mom is stupid or that leeann was toxic, just that their advice in the situation was bad. but caleb texted me this morning being so rude calling me disgustingly disrespectful for saying that and he said that “next time you think about doing this remember how it felt when i dumped you (so he admitted that he did dump me) - and get those tissues ready” (since ive been using a lot of tissues since i was crying so much). that really really hurt my feelings bc 1. he is once again using me crying against me and 2. it shows a total lack of sympathy for me crying, like it felt like hell yesterday i was so upset and he knows that so for him to threaten to put me through that again just shows he doesnt really care about me or my feelings.

he also said i need to stop using him and leeann and his mom as “characters in your online stories” like...these arent online stories? this blog is where i vent and talk about my feelings since i dont have anyone to do that with irl and i need to get them out somewhere im not writing these posts to be mean it just feels good to put my thoughts into words instead of bottling them up and even my therapist thinks its a good thing for me to do

so he said that but i was NOT having it. i typed up a long text in response and even i admit it was kinda mean. like in his he said “dont even talk to me for the rest of the day” so at the end of my text i said “dont talk to me ever i am perfectly fine w never talking to you again the rest of my life so bye have fun in new hampshire or whatever” and he was like “perry stop you dont mean that last part” and then he called me and once again got defensive he said he was just trying to have a convo w me and i was being aggressive for no reason. like, no??? a convo would have been texting me like “perry i know its your personal blog where you post your feelings but this post upset me and this is why” not coming at me with 4 super rude texts out of nowhere. so he was trying to play the victim and paint me as irrational and that im overreacting just like he did yesterday and i didnt like it! he was just dismissing my feelings again. so i went OFF in this phone call like wow i really snapped and it felt good tbh

like i think he was just expecting me to sit there and take it and apologize like i usually do when he gets like this but i am done doing that! so i think he was caught off guard that i stood up for myself. i was like caleb i really dont care i have the most important orgo test of the semester today you already took yesterday from me but today i am not entertaining it if you have an issue call me after my test” and i ended the convo and hung up and then he texted me “good luck on your test” like ok hi king of passive aggressiveness

so thats it. i felt good at first but later on i felt bad so i texted him apologizing for snapping at him but i said i wont discuss the tumblr issue until we are in person. i asked if he was free tonight and he said no he wants a day or two to be separate and normally i would understand but like...hes moving in a few weeks i really dont want to waste time fighting and being in this weird place

not to be out of order but another thing that got on my nerves was when we made up last night. he said “once i move youll have more free time for things like school, work, maybe going to the gym” like once again here he is commenting on my appearance! like yes i know im scrawny and i wish i wasnt but im sick of him taking jabs at my looks like my body, acne, and eyebrows when i literally have NOTHING but nice things to say about how he looks. it makes me feel bad when he points out my flaws like that and a good boyfriend is not supposed to make me feel like that

now for the most recent development. leeann sent me this LONG fb message bc caleb told her what i posted about her. like why does he have to expose me like that! i didnt read the message i was like “yeah im not reading this but just so you know i was kidding i wasnt serious i was exaggerating lol” and she was like ok lol

i just dont know why she thinks i care about her input on MY relationship? like youre calebs friend not mine to be frank i dont give a fuck what you think about whats best for my relationship like you dont know me so mind your business

and thats another thing. in the past caleb has gotten pissed at me for sharing our business too much (by telling my friends (who he will literally never meet since they all went away for school) and by posting on here) yet here he goes telling leeann everything! seems hypocritical to me

and heres a second thing. i have always told caleb that my blog is my personal space where i can safely vent and talk about my feelings and that he should respect my privacy by not reading my personal posts. and ive told him that if he does wanna read them then hes doing so at his own risk bc im not going to filter myself bc this is MY space not his so if he really wants to overstep his boundaries and look at my posts then he cant get mad at me for them bc HE is the one choosing to read them even after my warning! so i dont think he should be getting mad at me especially when i was in such an extreme state of mind yesterday since he put me through the worst day of my life for no reason which literally couldve been 100% avoided if he had just waited to talk to me in person instead of breaking up w me over the phone. and like now i feel like this isnt even a space place for me to express myself anymore since theres a chance of him seeing. and i tried blocking him before but he made a new blog and wont tell me the url so i cant block him smh

so yeah thats everything that happened. im kinda stressed rn w this whole leeann drama even though he shouldnt have been reading my posts in the first place. like its just so much drama and i dont like how it feels and idk why this relationship turned sour so fast and i wish he would just be nice and sweet to me again. so hopefully things get better

#this is so long omg #if any of you actually read all of this or even just skim it i love you <3 #personal

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