#they sucked but oh my god they're entertaining

[fireat-will]

S3 of Slow Horses, the season where they went on a dickhead purge

[froggiewrites]

Hii, I hope you're doing well, if not I'll hope things will go better!

I really liked your writing like it's so good!!

I have an sfw request about Ace.

So basically reader is feeling really sick recently so they spend a lot of time with Marco who gives them advices and all, and Ace gets jealous about this cause he thinks that reader is interested in Marco so one day when he's with the both of them he just says something like "oh I wouldn't want to be the third wheel" like something that clearly shows that he thought the two of them were now a couple and when he learns that they're not he immediately confess to reader?

I really hope it's not too precise, if you want to change things feel free to since you're the artist here, and I hope you understood (English isn't my first language) thank you so much for the other stories!

Take care, bye bye!

Hi, thank you so much for your well wishes and your request! Sorry this took so long, I burned myself out a little bit with the Halloween event and it took me a little time to get back into the swing of things. This one is short and sweet, and I hope you like it!

Third Wheeling It

Pairing: Ace x Reader

SFW

Summary: You've been spending a lot of time down in the clinic with Marco recently, and Ace gets the wrong idea. Warnings: Fluff, Misunderstandings, Very Little Hurt/Lots of Comfort, Idiots in Love Word Count: 1.6k

You’re convinced you’re never going to feel normal again. You have a headache you just can’t shake, and a fatigue down to your bones. You haven’t been able to shake whatever it is, no matter how much you rest.

“Are you really sure I just need to take it easy? It’s been weeks.”

Marco gives you a sympathetic look. “I know, but you really do just need time. You burned yourself out. Recovering from that takes a while.” He had been telling you that since you first started making regular visits to his office a couple weeks ago. You had spent a majority of the last week curled up in one of the beds in the clinic, pretending to rest but really just bothering Marco to entertain yourself. You suppose it was rest, in a way, but you liked to pretend you were somehow tricking him, getting away with something. It made you feel less helpless, and helped ease the ache of missing your normal routine.

You throw yourself down on the cot you had claimed for your own. “But I want to be better now.”

He laughs. “Don’t we all. If desire were all it took, I would be out of a job.”

“You could still fight. You don’t need to be a doctor to be a pirate.”

“True enough. But my point still stands: if our bodies listened to what we wanted there would be no need for doctors. Sometimes there really is no magic solution other than time.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, it does.” He passes by your cot, ruffling your hair light as he walks past. “But you’ll pull through.”

“Will you sit with me? We can suffer together.”

“I have work to do,” he says, sitting on the edge of your cot with a slight smile anyway. “And I wouldn’t really call hanging out with you suffering.”

You smile sleepily. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“You need to raise your standards.”

“My standards are sky high, thank you very much.”

“Oh yeah? What are they, then?”

“One, handsome. Two, nice to me. Three, end of list.”

He laughs. “God, the bar is in the ground for you, huh? Let me correct that for you: three, be Portgas D. Ace.”

You blush. “That–I–uh. Shut up!”

Marco is still laughing at you when you hear a throat clear in the doorway. You both look up to see the man you were just speaking of leaning against the doorframe, his eyes avoiding yours, a slight frown on his lips. “Sorry, I just–I heard you were down here again, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You smile at him, bright and earnest. “I’m doing alright, I guess. As well as I can be.”

Marco stands, moving away from your bed and back to his desk, more than willing to let Ace take his place at your sickbed. “They’re fine, really. They just hate listening to me.”

“I’d like listening to you if you had better things to say.”

“Ouch!” He puts a hand over his chest. “I’m just doing my job here!”

As you both giggle with each other, Marco trying to distract you and you trying to let him, you both miss Ace shifting uncomfortably and biting his lip. However, once you’ve come back down, you don’t miss the way he’s looking at you, a look far too intense to dismiss. It’s strange, somewhere half between hurt and resignation. Something flashes in his eyes, something pained, but before you can ask him what’s wrong he’s already turned his back. “I’ll leave you two to hang out. I wouldn’t want to interrupt.”

“You’re leaving already?” You can’t leave the sorrow out of your voice or the pout off of your face. “But I’ve missed you.” And you had, really. Spending most of your time down here with Marco means you’ve barely spent any time at all with Ace these past few weeks. You had missed everything about him, from his smile to his laugh to his loud, obnoxious snores when he passed out halfway through dinner. 

His shoulders stiffen. His voice is tight when he speaks again. “You shouldn’t say things like that. You could give a guy the wrong idea.”

You sit up, wincing but forcing yourself through the discomfort. “What kind of wrong idea?”

“The idea that you might be…interested.”

“That sounds like the right idea, actually.”

He whips around, his face painted with hurt. “That isn’t funny.”

“Who’s joking?”

“I…really. This isn’t…this is cruel. Having to third wheel with you two is hard enough without…”

Marco finally speaks up, his voice filled with confusion. “Third wheel?”

“Yeah, watching you two get closer while I have to pretend I’m fine is hard enough, you guys don’t need to rub it in my face.” He doesn’t sound angry, really, just defeated and pained. “I’m trying to be happy for you, you don’t need to make it harder than it already is.”

You furrow your brow. “Happy for us?”

Marco can’t help the surprised bark of a laugh that leaves him. “You think we’re dating?”

Ace pauses. “You…aren’t?”

“Hell no!”

“Absolutely not!”

You and Marco both instantly refute the claim, perhaps a little more harshly than necessary.

Ace lights up like the sun. “You mean it?”

“Of course we mean it!” You cry.

“Why wouldn’t we mean it?” Marco chuckles, voice filled with the sort of weary but unwavering affection Ace tends to bring out in people. 

“Will you go out with me?” Ace stares at you with wide, pleading eyes, already moving to beg on his hands and knees, as though he expects rejection.

“You aren’t really my type,” Marco quips with a laugh, before closing the curtain to give you two some privacy.

It’s your turn to be shocked, heart beating out of your chest and cheeks flushing. “You–I–What?”

He grins, on his knees in front of you, taking a hand in his. “I like you, a lot. Will you go out with me?”

“This is so sudden.” You want to say yes, of course. Why wouldn’t you? But you weren’t expecting such a confession today, and your head is still pounding, and you can’t quite get over the thought that Marco is listening right behind the curtain. You know that Ace doesn’t care about any of those things, blind to anything but his goal in any situation, but you could never be so headstrong, so carefree. Could you?

“I’ve liked you from the moment I saw you.” His smile is growing ever wider, his eyes filling with hope. “I thought I had lost my chance, and I will absolutely never take that risk again. Will you be mine? Or, I guess, could I be yours?”

Your cheeks are on fire, and your brain is melting, but your mouth moves despite yourself. “Yes,” you hear yourself say.

You’re pinned to the bed as he throws himself at you, laughing joyously. “Yes? Oh my god, yes!” He tucks his face into your neck, and you can feel his smile. “I never thought it’d be a yes.”

“How could it be anything else?” Your voice is soft, more vulnerable than you’d like. But you would never understand how he could expect anything less than success. You don’t know how anyone could speak to Ace for longer than five minutes and not fall madly and deeply in love with everything about him: his smile, his humor, his confidence. He shines like the sun, and you don’t know how anyone could ever resist basking in his warmth for as long as they can.

“Well up until a couple minutes ago I thought you were in love with Marco.”

You laugh. “I’ve been sick, Ace. He’s a doctor.”

He doesn’t respond, and you can see a bit of pink at the tips of his ears. “How was I supposed to know?”

“You could have asked.”

“You should listen to them,” Marco calls from behind the curtain. “This was entirely self-inflicted.”

“Shut up!” He finally leaves your neck just to shout at Marco, cheeks hot. “Would you have asked?”

“Yes. I’m a grown man. I can handle a tough conversation.”

“Well–I–Shut up!”

Marco laughs, and you can hear the door slam shut behind him. Ace buries himself in your neck again, his strong arms pulling around you even tighter, and you can’t help but smile. He seems so delicate like this, so unlike his usual self, and you can’t help but admire him. He’s so charming even now, so vulnerable and small. “I would have been too nervous to ask too,” you quietly reassure him. “And it doesn’t matter anyway, because you said it.”

He smiles against your skin. “I did say it,” he mumbles. “And you accepted.”

“I did.”

“I really like you.”

“I really like you, too.”

You don’t have a moment to react before his lips are on yours, slightly chapped and hesitant. You imagine this is what sunlight tastes like, warm and inviting. His hand rests on your cheek, thumb brushing lightly against your skin. He’s smiling as he pulls away. “And now I can do that whenever I want.”

You grin. “You can. You’re encouraged, even.”

And so he kisses you again. Marco leaves you too alone for as long as he can justify to himself, and when he finally interrupts you two again you find yourself more than ready to leave the clinic again, a warm hand intertwined with yours and your headache nearly entirely gone.

Tag List: @pandora-writes-one-piece

[olderthannetfic]

I feel like such a hypocrite reblogging all these posts about how people like male characters more than female ones even if they have similar personalities/roles/wtv, but I read about this stuff precisely because I relate to it. "People think everything men do is cool and everything women do is either weak or Mary Sue" -- yes, it's me, I'm people. It's not like I do it deliberately or I'm proud of it, but I can observe and acknowledge the empirical fact that female characters just produce a very different emotional reaction in me than male ones.

I guess I like the safe distance of projecting onto characters who 1. are more obviously not me and 2. are judged less harshly than me (bc everything men do is cool) and that's not my fault, it's the patriarchy's, but then I can't challenge it. I can't say "women can be just as cool and we shouldn't be judged more harshly", I can only say "yea women suck let me forget I am one" like I'm still in my 9gag nlog tween phase -- or well, I can *say* the former, but I keep *acting and feeling* like the latter. And btw I'm not just talking about consuming media, where all you can choose from is what's on offer; I'm also talking about creating my own fanfics, which are all about men.

--

The reason a lot of those posts are so obnoxious is that they're just people wallowing in guilt and projecting.

The fact is, lots of people do like female characters. There's plenty of fiction about women. There's plenty of fic about women. There is not, in fact, some grand, existential problem where nobody cares about the ladies. If you aren't seeing this fic or original media, that's different from it not existing.

Two, your own fanfics? FFS. If you consume media that is a sausagefest, then of fucking course, your fic will be about dudes.

Just the other day, I spotted a story I hadn't read by a fantastic fantasy novelist. I hadn't looked her up much beyond buying her trilogy, and what do you know: she actually says who she is in fandom openly!

I was entertained to find out that her big thing is kylux. You really wouldn't guess based on her pro work, which is about a harried female doctor taking care of supernatural patients. I remember those books being a refreshing change from my usual diet of nothing but slash fic. It's not just that there's a female lead but that they take a nuanced look at female characters.

Personally, as a writer, I wasn't ready to write much about women until I was better at writing overall, and my more self inserty characters aren't usually going to be women anyway unless they're like Julia from the Hilary Tamar series.

--

If you're uncomfortable with yourself, you can try to change, sure.

But fandom is full of this obnoxious plague where people think that it's the job of each person to make there be more female characters. This isn't necessary. Even if we want media or fic to be more balanced overall, it doesn't follow that each person needs to produce a balanced body of work.

Why should you in particular care about female characters?

--

But beyond all that, oh my fucking lord, I am so tired of that species of post that's like "Gosh, why is slash fandom, where people go to be horny over dudes and/or have self inserty feelings about them, not more full of stuff about ladies? It's so tragic how we all want to get rid of our boobs and wear men's clothing and be addressed as sir, just like all the other girls. What's up with that? It must be misogyny."

With a totally straight face.

Every god damn time.

[gothamite-rambler]

Jason and Rose pretending to hate each other in front of Dick because they DO NOT want him to know they're trying out dating. It's worse than if Batman knew!

Rose Wilson smacked Jason Todd on the back of the head, alarming Dick Grayson as the two sat on the couch.

Rose: Left my wallet here again. Oh, and Jace, your white tuft looks goofy.

Jason (to Rose): You're missing an eye, Rosie.

Rose: And it doesn't hinder my aim. Tell me, does it suck you share the same name with the serial killer with mommy issues?

Jason: Does it suck you share the same name as the bent who let Jack drown?

Rose (chuckling): Figures you'd be into Titanic. Notebook your favorite movie too?

Jason: Much like my preference for women, my standards aren't that low. Sorry, that means you're off the list.

Rose (snaps her fingers with a fake pout): You wound me, Jace! Sadly, I can't do the same with you since it has to be impossible to wound someone who’s already so… dead inside.

Dick raised his finger to talk, but Jason cut him off with an equally sly remark.

Jason: That'd piece my heart if it wasn't coming from someone who's got so much baggage she’d have to pay fees.

Rose (crossing her arms with a smirk): Oh sweetie, my baggage is designer. Yours? It looks like it came from the clearance aisle.

Dick: …

Jason: At least I can shoot a clear shot, cyclops.

Rose: Aww, honey, this cyclops can make sure you're back in the hole.

Dick (not sure who to call out): …

Jason: If you think you'll win, then you'll be shocked when you lose your other eye. Does the 'good' one you have left work? How many fingers am I holding up?

Jason held up one hand with two fingers. Rose smirked and held up both hands, both middle fingers raised.

Rose: Two? And I can see your equally goofy ghost hair.

Jason: And I can see that you are a bitch.

Rose: Same to you, asshole.

Rose grabbed her wallet and left without saying a single word to Dick. Dick cleared his throat, looking at Jason with a mix of disbelief and exasperation at the exchange before him.

Dick: Could you maybe try being nice to her?

Jason: Not a chance. Pushing her buttons is way too entertaining, and she gives it right back. I'm honestly impressed… with how good at quips she is.

Jason pretended to check if the safety of his gun was on while avoiding eye contact from his brother.

Dick (shrugging and nodding in agreement): If that's how it is, why do you guys even go on missions together?

Jason: Honestly, I can’t stand her, but she’s a solid fighter and knows how to track some of Black Mask’s associates. She’s got her uses.

Dick (taking this in): That’s a bit odd, but please try to be civil. If you need me to, I can have a word with her about what she said.

Jason bit his bottom lip, surprised that Dick seemed to be buying that he and Rose hated each other.

Jason (checking his gun’s chamber): Don’t sweat it; we’ll hash it out later. I’ll make sure to smooth things over for you.

Dick chuckled and shook his head, exasperated yet amused.

Dick (sarcastically): Oh, wonderful. Thanks a lot for that.

---------------------------------------

Hours later, Jason and Rose were entangled in each other’s clothes, their lips colliding with fervor in the dim light of Jason's apartment.

Rose: Mm, I missed your lips.

Jason leaned in, deepening the kiss as he pulled her closer, guiding her toward the inviting intimacy of his bedroom.

Jason: I couldn’t stop thinking about you after you left.

Rose: Guess my spell really worked on you, huh?

As Jason trailed kisses down her neck, a shiver raced through Rose, igniting a palpable heat between them.

Jason: Whatever you say. God I want you.

Rose (smiling as her fingers wove through Jason's hair): Luckily for us, we both have the night off.

A soft chuckle escaped him, his arm tightening around her waist, drawing her even closer.

Rose (remembering their earlier exchange): By the way… Did he buy it?

Jason: Yeah, he thinks we can't stand each other.

Rose: Perfect. I hate you… so much.

Turning her to face him, Jason smirked, lifting her chin until their gazes locked with a heated intensity. The kiss that followed was soft at first but quickly turned passionate, his mouth teasingly nibbling on her lip.

Jason: Show me just how much you really hate me.

With a playful shove, Rose pressed her palm against his chest, pushing him back onto the bed.

Rose: Let’s see if we can hate each other all night.

In a swift, effortless motion, Jason grabbed her arm and flipped her onto the bed, positioning himself above her.

Jason (sensually): I can’t stand you.

Rose (letting out a moan): You make me sick.

The air between them crackled with electric tension, both fully aware that this was far more than just a game. Jason threw his short off and Rose's as their body's stayed close together as he kept kissing her. Heavy breathing and their tight bodies was all they wanted to focus on for the rest of the night.

[bteezxyewriter12]

I Don't Share

Pairing- Hongjoong x Named Reader

Word count- 4k

Includes- Dom Hongjoong, oral, pussy eating, blow job, deep throating, cum eating, desk sex, missionary (sort of), cock riding, audio recording, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13 @mknae-jongho @bykeynote

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Hongjoong Masterlist

Hongjoong POV

"You know I'm not only here for your entertainment", my best friend says, rolling her eyes

"Yeah I know Jo", I say, rolling my eyes back, "I'm just stressed right now and I need your help"

"Sure you do", she snorts

I scoff, "Stop acting like you're not getting anything by helping me when you are"

She scowls knowing I'm right

"Fine"

"Good, get on the desk"

She walks over to my desk in my studio and sits on it

I wave my hand, motioning for her to move back more

She does, putting her legs on the desk

Rolling my chair forward, I push her skirt up and open her legs

"You're wet already", I snort, "Why are you fucking arguing with me?"

"Because I'm not at your beck and call Hongjoong"

I just roll my eyes, grabbing her panties and pulling them to the side

Lowering my face, I bury my tongue in her sweet cunt

"Fuck", she murmurs, her pussy already pouring delicious juice in my mouth

"Mmm baby", I groan, licking up and down, my tongue spreading her pussy lips open, making her wetter

"Feel better?", she asks, her breathing labored as flick her clit with my tongue

"Mmm a little", I answer, holding her panties so tightly in my hand, sucking her clit into my mouth and biting softly, her loud moans so pretty

I like to eat cunt when I'm stressed

Figured that out when I had a girlfriend and ate her out for hours during an album drop

The guys, I love them but they're fucking chaotic and drive me insane

It's hard being a leader to basically seven children

Any girlfriend I had knew I liked to go down on them and knew I needed it when things were stressful

Unfortunately I haven't had a girlfriend in over two years and I was desperate a few months ago

Joanne was here in the studio with me, hanging out while I worked and I snapped, asking her if I could eat her out

After her initial shock, I explained everything and told her she'd really be helping me out

It took some convincing but she agreed and now she lets me do it all the time

"Joongie", she whispers, squirming, her thighs shaking around my head as I slurp on her clit

Her clit is the best, always swollen, pulsing and so good to suck on

Anytime I can have her clit in my mouth I'll jump at the chance

Letting go of her throbbing clit, I lick up her cunt a few times, tasting her then reattaching my lips to her clit, tugging hard and fast

"Oh god, yes Joongie"

"Mmm gonna cum for me?", I ask, excited, "Gonna give me that pussy cream I love?"

"Yes! Yes!", she cries, leaning back on her hands, "Hongjoong, oh Hongjoong!"

She cums hard but I don't let go of her pretty clit, sucking her through it

Only when she finishes do I let go and drag my tongue down to her hole

"Fuck, so good", I groan, greedily licking up her cream

I was so surprised at how good her pussy tastes the first time I ate her out

From her juice to her sweet cum, she's the best cunt I've ever tasted

I'm kinda addicted to her pussy but I'll never tell her that

Circling her hole with the tip of my tongue, I lick her cream up then slowly push my tongue inside her

Her pussy clenches my tongue sending shivers of pleasure down to my hard cock

Of course I get hard while eating her out but I can ignore it until I get home and jerk off

It's a working system that I don't want to mess up

Pulling my tongue out, she whines as I lick up her cunt again

"What do you want jagi?", I tease

"Joongie", she protests

"Uh uh baby. Use your words", I laugh, "Tell me what you want"

She hurrumphs but says, "Want you to tongue fuck my hole"

"See, that wasn't so hard", I murmur, shoving my tongue up her cunt again

"Oh god", she pants

I start driving my tongue in and out of her hole, her hand sliding in my hair and holding on tightly

"Mmm, such a good little hole", I praise her, "Squeezing my tongue so hard"

"Mmm hmmm", she moans, her hips moving

"Yeah baby. You know I like when you fuck my face"

God, I live for that

Live for feeling her legs around my head, for her pussy getting pushed more in my mouth, for her pulling my hair

It's the best

Moving my hand not holding her panties, I start playing with her clit, rubbing it in circles as I fucked her cunt

"Hongjoong, oh fuck"

I chuckle into her pussy, "Look at you. Arguing with me before but all it takes is a little clit sucking and tongue fucking and you're ready to cream all over my face again"

Shoving my tongue in, I flick her clit at the same time and she screams, her pussy throbbing around my tongue as she cums in my mouth

I eagerly swallow all of her cream, reveling in her taste as I listen to her scream my name over and over

When she finishes, I run my tongue over her pussy, not intending on stopping yet

"Want another?", I ask

"Yes Joongie!", she shouts, her fingers twisting in my hair hard, sending tingles down my spine

"And here you were complaining before when you know I'm the best at eating your cunt", I tell her between licks

"Mmm hmmm... One of the best"

I pause at that

One of the best?

There's someone else who eats her cunt better than me?

Not possible

"Who else's is on par with me?", I growl

"Seonghwa", she whines

It takes a second before what she said sinks in

Seonghwa?

Did she really say fucking Seonghwa?

How?

When?

I pull out from under her skirt, staring at her in disbelief

"You let Seonghwa eat you out?", I exclaim incredulously, white hot jealousy firing in my veins

"Uh yeah. Once"

Once?

When?

Where the fuck was I?

"And he was better than me?"

"I...I didn't say that", she says

Well she didn't deny it either

"Is he better than me?", I ask, so fucking jealous

"No Joong. He's not", she answers, quietly, "He's good but not as good as you"

"What else did you do with him?", I growl

"We uh....we fucked"

I look at her in shock, trying not to blow up

I haven't even fucked her and Seonghwa did?

Where the hell does he get off touching my best friend?

Eating out my best friend, fucking my best friend?

Why can't he get his own girl, why is he trying to take mine?

"You fucked Seonghwa?", I exclaim

"Uh....yes", she says meekly

"Why?"

She blinks, "I...I don't know, it just happened"

"It just happened?", I screech, "How did it just happen? You fell on his dick?"

Her eyes widen, looking at me in pure confusion, "I...no. It happened the normal way. He kissed me and it went from there"

It went from there

He kissed her and they decided to take clothes off

I haven't even kissed her

"Did you blow him?"

Her cheeks turn red, "Yes"

"Fuck", I shout, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose

She hasn't blown me

Hasn't asked to and I never asked either

But she did all those things with my group member

Fuck

"Joong...I don't...I don't get what the big deal is"

I open my eyes, glaring, "The big deal is I haven't fucked you. You haven't blown me. But you did those things with Seonghwa. Who is not me!"

She's looking at me like I'm crazy and I can kinda get it

I know I'm blowing up at something I probably shouldn't be

But I can't help how angry and utterly jealous I am that Seonghwa was with her

It's unexplainable but right now I don't care

"You never asked to do those things", she points out

Yeah well I didn't know I wanted to do those things with her until right now

And I'm going to fix that

Grabbing her skirt, I start pulling it down

"Joong-"

"Wanna fuck you", I tell her, just wanting her out of her clothes, "Unless you don't want to and want Seonghwa instead?"

She shakes her head, "I want to Joongie, I just....I don't want you to do it because you want to compete with Seonghwa. I want you to want to"

"Oh I want to, don't worry about that", I growl, "Now let me get you out of your clothes"

She just nods and I pull her skirt off

Next off is her shirt and her bra, her big tits on display for me

Jesus, I had no idea these things were that big or they'd turn me on so much

Squeezing them once, I drag my hands down her body, tearing at her panties, ripping them off her and throwing the pieces behind me

Standing back, I gaze at my best friend, naked on my desk and I just realized how utterly gorgeous she is

And how hard I am

She reaches out for me and I move closer, letting her slide my T-shirt up and off my body

She bites her lip as her eyes move down my body, her hands following her gaze's wake

Her hands are so small and feel so good, sending zaps of fire through every cell she touches and I'm shocked I'm feeling this

Getting to my sweatpants, she pushes them and my boxers down as much as she can then I take over and get out of them

"Fuck Joongie", she says, her eyes widening at my dick, "So big"

I smirk as her hand wraps around my cock, giving me soft strokes

"So fat", she murmurs

"Want it inside you?"

Her eyes meet mine as she nods

Good

Pushing her hand off me, I move closer to her, wrapping my arms around her thighs and pulling her closer to me, to the edge of the desk

Guiding my cock to her hole, I shove in, bottoming out in one stroke

"Oh fuck! Joongie", she cries as I moan at how fucking tight she is, how hard her cunt is clenching around my cock already

"God, fuck", I groan, reveling in how warm, tight and wet she is, "You feel fucking good"

"Yyy...you too", she whimpers, "So big"

"Yeah?", I smirk, "Fills you up good?"

She nods, "So good"

Good

Holding her legs wide open, I pull my cock back, feeling how desperately her cunt clenches around me to keep me inside

Smirking, I shove my cock back in and start moving fast, fucking her tiny pussy open

"Hongjoong, oh my god", she cries, her hands gripping the edge of my desk so hard, her knuckles are white

"How's my cock doing baby? Fucking you good?", I ask, making sure my head hits her spot each time, her squeezing sending pleasure all over my body, "Splitting you open just how you like it?"

"Yes!", she cries, one of her hands gripping my wrist, her fingers digging into my skin, "Yes Joongie. More. Harder"

My god, I had no idea I would love her begging for me this much

Crave it this much

Plunging in deeply, my skin hits her hard as I fuck her, the sound so fucking erotic to listen to

And all she's doing is taking my cock and crying for more

"Gonna break this cunt", I growl, tossing my head back to fling the sweaty hair out of my face, then I look right in her eyes, "Break it and mold it so it fits perfectly around my cock and my cock only"

She whimpers, her eyes huge and wet, pleasure all over her face

I break eye contact, looking down at her pretty hole taking my cock, at her pretty swollen pussy lips petaling open for me like a flower

Watching her cream cover my cock

"Fuck, did you know your pussy creams cock like this?"

She nods, whimpering

"You knew?", I ask, the sight making me more horny

"Mmm hmmm"

"Who told you?"

"Seonghwa", she murmurs

Jealousy strikes me right in the chest and I get so fucking angry

Moving her legs around my waist, I pull her hips closer, her back laying more against the desk

I fuck her harder, wrecking her and destroying her spot on my head, her moans and cries of my name so loud

So beautiful

I need to record this

Grabbing my phone from the desk next to her, I quickly turn on the recording app and press record, leaving the phone right next to us

"I'm recording this and sending it to you", I growl, pounding into her little cunt mercilessly, sweaty pouring down my body, "You're going to keep it on your phone and anytime you think you want to fuck someone else, you're going to listen to it and hear how you moan for me. Hear how you want me"

"Yes Joongie", she moans, her hands gripping my arms hard, her legs tightening around my waist

"You'll fucking remember that if you want to be fucked, you get on my cock, understand?"

"Yes Hongjoong", she cries, pleasure all over her face, her body so pretty in the sheen of sweat

"You remember how you're creaming my cock like a waterfall, how your pussy is gorging itself on my cock, how you cum on my cock"

She nods, her eyes so fucked out and teary as she pants hard, looking at me through her sweaty hair

And it hits me right now, how utterly beautiful my best friend is

"The only cock you let inside you is mine", I demand, "If you want to cum on a cock, you use mine. If you want your pussy eaten, you use my tongue. If you want cum up your cunt like the slut I know you are, I'll give you mine and fill you up. Understand?"

She moans softly, nodding

"Look at me", I demand, grabbing her chin and holding her in place

Her wet eyes lock on mine and I lean down, "This is my pussy"

She nods, whispering, "Yours"

"You are mine"

"Yeah Joongie"

"I don't share what's mine. Ever"

"Ok Joongie"

"Good"

With that, I lean down more crashing my lips into hers in a searing, mind altering kiss that I was so not expecting

Her arms immediately move around my neck, her body pressing against mine as her tongue plays with mine

And I know, she's mine

She was always mine, I just didn't see it until now

Until I got jealous

I'm so fucking angry it took jealousy to get me to open my eyes but I'll make it up to her

Gripping her hips, I increase my speed, fucking her tight little cunt wide open, the squelching sounds of her pussy mixing with the sound of our skin slapping

I'm so fucking glad I got this on tape

I know I'm gonna be a perv and listen to it while I jerk off later

I don't care

Tangling my hand in her hair, I pull her head back, breaking the kiss, the sound of her whine such a turn on

"Uh uh jagi", I murmur, pressing a kiss to her neck, "I want you to hear how loud your pussy is for me. How utterly wet you are for my cock. Do you hear it?"

She nods, whimpering as the sound of her cunt taking my cock gets louder

"I'm recording this so you never forget how much your cunt loves my cock"

"Yes Joongie"

"Good girl. Now, you have to cum for me", I demand, thrusting in and out, slamming into her spot with my head, "Cum for me"

"Hongjoong", she screams, the next stroke sending her right into an orgasm

"Oh my fucking god", I choke out as her cunt completely crushes around my cock, cream pouring from her pussy as I fuck her through it, the pleasure so fucking intense

Her body shakes under me, her moans and screams of my name so fucking beautiful

I watch the utterly ethereal sight of her coming and I swear, I've never seen something so fucking gorgeous before

"Hongjoong, Hongjoong, Hongjoong", she repeats over and over, as she completely creams my cock

My name has never sounded so fucking good

Her body twitches as she finishes and I'm amazed that I got so much bliss from her orgasm

It just makes me want to feel that over and over

Her eyes open, looking at me with a look I can't place, her fingers running softly on my cheek

Her lips move against mine, kissing me as her arms tighten around my neck

She kisses me deeply for a minute, then slowly pulling away and I just follow her lips not wanting the kiss to end

"Joongie", she murmurs, now pressing a kiss to my neck

"Yeah jagi?"

"Wanna suck your dick"

Oh god, yes please

Definitely

"Yeah baby?", I ask teasingly

"Mmm hmm", she murmurs against my skin, "Wanna show you how good I can suck that big cock"

I smirk widely, "Ok baby. Show me"

She gently pushes me back and I pull out of her, immediately missing the warmth and tightness of her pussy

She moves off the desk, dropping to her knees and my head spins at the sight

I never thought I'd ever have my best friend in this position

But I can't deny I like it

Her hands slide up my thighs as she moves forward, her tongue licking along my cock

My mind explodes seeing that, pleasure shooting up my spine as she licks me over and over

Her tongue presses against my slit, licking up the leaking cum, a strangled moan escaping my throat

"So good Joongie", she murmurs, "Tastes yummy"

Oh my fucking god

I watch her mouth wrap around my head, soft sucks causing the pleasure to increase

"Oh jagi", I groan, sliding my hand in her hair, holding tightly on the soft strands

He hand wraps around my base, stroking me as she takes my cock deeper in her mouth

She moans on my dick, the vibrations running up and down my spine, making my brain malfunction

With each suck she takes me in, inch by inch, my cock sliding slowly in her throat

She chokes and gags for a second, her throat spasming around my dick so blissfully

Breathing in through her nose, she continues her descent down my cock, sucking like her life depends on it, her eyes watering and spit all over the place

"Mmm baby, you look so good slurping on my cock like that", I praise her through the fucking amazing pleasure, "So messy, just how I like it"

She nods, bottoming my cock out and I'm amazed that she's actually deep throating me

Not many girls could do that

She starts bobbing up and down my dick, her throat so tight around my length, the bliss intense

I can't stop the moans coming from me, my eyes on her, on my cock disappearing and reappearing in her mouth over and over

I could watch this all fucking day

Listen to the sounds her throat is making

I swear I have never been turned on like this before

I have never wanted someone as much as I want her

And as good as she is at blowing me, I need her to stop

I don't want to cum in her mouth

I want to cum in her pussy

Make her really mine

"Jagi", I murmur, running my fingers in her hair, those gorgeous brown eyes looking up at me, "Come ride me"

She nods, pulling off my cock

I help her stand, then take her hand and bring her to the couch in the corner of the studio

I lay down, my head against the armrest

She climbs in my lap, looking down at me, smiling softly

She leans down, her lips against mine, kissing me deeply, passionately

I kiss her back the same way, never feeling this way from a kiss before

And strangely, never wanting to feel this way with anyone else

When the kiss ends, she sits back up, her hand holding my dick to her entrance

She sinks down on my dick and instead of watching her hole open for me like I feel her doing, I watch her

Watch the pleasure on her face, watch her brow furrow in it, watch her bite her bottom lip, hear her soft moans as she gets me inside her

"Mmm", she whimpers, as she bottoms me out, sounding as if she's happy I'm inside her

Her hips move in a circle, grinding on me as she opens her throbbing cunt up more

"Joongie", she murmurs, starting to bounce softly on my cock

Pleasure crashes into me as I revel in the way her cunt pulses around me, the way her pussy fits perfectly around me

She leans her hands on my stomach, her palms igniting a fire against my sink where she's touching me

She rocks and grinds against my cock every time she slips back down, crying out in pleasure when my head rubs her spot

Her eyes are so wet, sobbing as she rides me harder and harder with every bounce

And I can't tear my eyes off of her, now wanting this all the time

"God, I love seeing you cry on my cock", I murmur, watching her tears fall down her face from the sheer pleasure, "Think I'm gonna need you to sob for my cock all the time now"

"Yes Joongie", she shouts, her pussy leaving a beautiful mess all over my cock

"You're so fucking beautiful jagi", I tell her, running my hands on her thighs, feeling her skin tremble against my touch

She cries my name louder and louder with each bounce, her pussy strangling my cock in a vice grip and I find myself excited for her orgasm

"Please baby", my turn to beg her now, "Please cum for me. Please, fall apart on my cock"

Her body shudders as she screams my name, dropping on my cock to the hilt, coming all over me

Ecstasy slams in my body and I can't hold it back

Holding her on my cock, I yell her name, coming deep in her orgasming pussy, feeling the utter pleasure of her milking my length

"Yes Joanne, fuck, fuck. So good baby", I whimper

"Joongie", she sobs, "Fuck, fill my pussy so good"

"Mmm hmmm", I groan, emptying everything I have, "Like it jagi?"

"Love it", she whines, "Love feeling full of you"

When we finish, I gently pull her down to me, kissing her softly, shivers running up and down my back

Keeping my arms around her, she lays down on me, her head on my chest right where my heart is, eyes closed

I run my fingers in her hair as I hold her and listen to her breathing going back to normal

She moves her hand to my chest too, and I take it in mine, bringing it to my lips, kissing her palm

"You were always mine", I say softly

Her eyes open and look up at me, emotions I haven't seen from her before in them

"I just didn't see it", I say

Now I do

Now I see that I had everything I ever needed in a girl right in front of me, in her

Now I see that she always wanted me

I saw it in her eyes, in her expressions

And I'm kicking myself for being so blind, so stupid

"Yeah", she answers quietly

"I see now jagi", I tell her, "And I want you to know, I'm yours. Just yours. If that's what you want"

She looks surprised but nods, "It is what I want Joongie"

I can't hold back a smile, "So it's settled. You're my girl"

"And you're my guy?", she asks

"Definitely"

"Ok", she smiles, it taking my breath away

"Ok baby", I smile back

She lifts her head and I tuck her hair behind her ear, then kiss her

I don't think I'm going to ever stop kissing her

It just feels so good having her lips, her tongue against mine

I fall into her kiss, my arms around her, holding her against me, knowing I'm right where I'm supposed to be

[quitealotofsodapop]

With all the bs and teasing being thrown around this doesn't seem like a fight that would end in Macaque's Death but rather Mac being unintentionally flattered/flustered enough to be talked down if Wukong decides to turn the tables and start complaining about missining him only for macaque to show up and be a little shit about it. I love that the pokemon that looks most like the other is their most spoilt on the team. You didn't say it, but I imagine it's mutual. Peachy is a beloved brat if the back talk implies anything. I can also imagine Macaque trying to call Moon back and the fox is just like "No??? This guy treats me the way you treat peachy! It's pretty sweet over here!" Wukong sees the out of place fox in Mac's arms and looks up at him smug "Peachy?" "No." "You call him Peachy, Moonflower?" "Irrelevant!" "Hey, Peachy, you don't mind if we switch places for a bit, do you?" "Not at all, mama needs to get laid" *tries to jump out of Mac's arms but he scrambles and holds on tighter like he's a shield from the sudden flirting, stuffed animal style* "OH my gods, STAHP!!!!"

Zhu bajie, for once, is happy to watch silently with the others, this is the best(non-life threatening) entertainment they've had in months. Even if he wants to laugh and cry at the same time, Big Brother sucks at flirting if this is as familiar to them as it looks, but it's WORKING. Why does Monkey get to (terribly)flirt, but Bajie had to give up his marriage?! That's not fair!

- @fruit-fight

Prev.

To further twist the knife, Zorua canonically transform into little kids, so they 100% could turn into little humanoid demons like they're the Shadowpeach's children.

The two Zorua kits are yipping at each other like siblings playing favourites. Moon likes Wukong more cus he's more understanding of Moon's quieter nature, and Peachy likes Macaque more cus fellow drama queens.

Peachy: "Mama Macaque likes me more!" Moon: "Only because you're a suck up!" Peachy: "I am not! Mama! He's being mean to me! MAMAAAA!!" Macaque, pretending he can't understand them: "How did I get into this?" (´°ω°`)

When Zhu Bajie starts complaining about Wukong getting to flirt, his Oinkologne-mom starts arguing at him, scolding him for his behaviour! Can't he see that these two boys are rekindling an old romance? Bajie sulks like a little kid sent into timeout when he tries back-talking her.

By the end of it Wukong and Macaque are begrudgingly on good terms like parents splitting custody of their fox children.

[johannestevans]

GOD, young woman who marries a very old rich man for his fortune, basically waits for him to die, and by the time he does her youth is just behind her and she's not necessarily the most marriageable prospect

so marries an also slightly past his sell-by date - an invert

BECAUSE. WHO BETTER. for a woman who has missed what she feels should have been the excitement of her youth - and even when she was so young, she lacked the money and comfort she does now, and she feels so many eyes on her, so much judgement

and this man has had one scandal in his youth - didn't get caught before the courts, but the gossip has absolutely made it around that he was caught with a stablehand whilst he should have been riding the horses

both of them in their early 30s, knowing they're not really OLD but feeling as though for different reasons life can and will and is passing them by, so they get married and like

she was used to letting her husband do whatever and being left alone

of being mostly lonely, yes, and when she was entertaining or entertained, it being by women more of her husband's cohort - much older than her, and a bit dull, already having done their mothering, sitting quietly w games and needlework and gossip

and unlike them, many of them being like, you know, these proud and powerful matriarchs of their family, with a lot of soft power in their houses and in society even though they're still women, like… she never had that influence. she was just a bauble, a pretty trophy

but THIS man, who parties and drinks and has all these very interesting and curious-looking friends goes, "what? oh my god, i'm not just going to LEAVE you here. obviously i won't take you to rough places unless you want to go but omg babes no you're my wife we'll go together"

and like? the idea of going to parties and getting so drunk and rowdy w all these wild things younger than they are but also the same age and older? the two of them sharing a man? playing chess while one girl eats her out and another lad sucks him off and seeing who concentrates?

it's about the fun and the liberty and the apparent image of respectability that marriage gets to give them even though they're not doing things As Expected, and being able to fly under the radar and just enjoy life together w someone who cares

[bitchlessdino]

TPC: Seungkwan's and Jeonghan's friend swap Pt. 2

Full series

Pairing: Jeonghan x afab!reader

Genre: smut, mature themes

Word count: 2.7k

tags: mentions of alcohol, brief mention of substance in a drink, bathroom sex, dom!jeonghan, mirror sex, fingering, standing back shots, praise kink, one night stand, a different kind of awkward

Summary: Seungkwan likes Jeonghan's friend while Jeonghan is more than willing to be the perfect distraction to entertain Seungkwan's friend. Looks like they're switching besties for the night.

tag list @iwouldbangchan @1uvlywon @just-here-to-read-01

Jeonghan sees you several meters away from him getting inching closer to the beat of the music. He observes the shape of your lips, to the curve of your cheek, until his eyes automatically lock with your eyes that bore into his. Any attention was good attention, he’d say.

“I have to talk to you, excuse me,” your fingers wrap around his wrist, tugging at a direction he’d blindly follow, but he doesn’t forget to wave his friend goodbye in his departure. They look at him in amused confusion, having them wave back unconcerned.

“Okay, ow. What is it?” He asks with feigned disdain.

“Oh, just…” your eyes trail over, Seungkwan finally makes his move, pretending to look cool while leaning up against the kitchen counter with a drink in hand. It’s visibly awkward but endearing, and the person he pursues doesn’t seem to mind his company. You’re reminded to respond when Jeonghan takes over your view, bending his neck to meet your eyes again. “Just what?”

“I, uh. Distracting you?”

“Why, so you can put something in my drink?”

Your eyebrows meet down the center, “Of course not, god, how dark.”

“Then, what is it,” he patiently waits for an answer, charmed by your startled expression that smooths over into one thought, as if only deciding now to find an excuse. You clear your throat, slightly shift from his gaze and open your mouth, thinking to spew the first thing that comes to mind. “S-sex.”

“Sex?” He ponders amused. “What? Are you proposing we have sex right now?”

Damnit. Not the brain. Another body part of yours did the speaking.

You scoff. “Please—“

“Well, since you’re asking so nicely—“

“Socializing.” Your eyes look over his shoulder, seeing Seungkwan laugh at something they say, bringing a smile to your eyes. “I came over just to talk, came to you for a drink since you always know where they are.”

He side grins, mischief taking up his face. “Follow me.”

You weren’t normally quick to follow the word of Yoon Jeonghan–you have heard he was all kinds of unhinged–but you were being a good friend. An amazing friend. A friend of Seungkwan would take several shots of vodka, tequila, or both just to prove how good of a friend they are. You’d throw them back like water because who can ignore a person who knows to have a good time? Jeonghan couldn’t. This would surely be a good distraction. 

They’d talk Jeonghan up, and do some light flirting to make sure Seungkwan and the person he likes could get alone time (although Seungkwan’s already sneaked out of the party an hour ago). One light brush against his arm would do the trick, maybe followed by soft whispers to his ears, saying ramblings of a person who’s had enough alcohol would say.

They would also sneak in some brief liplock with Jeonghan to really seal in that deal. You have his mouth over your lips in some hidden bathroom, tugging on his collar as you're sat over the sink counter. His skin is flushed against yours, clearly enjoying himself, and in every momentary part of your lips you can feel the heat of his chuckles against your cheeks.

What were you doing again?

You forget your purpose tonight with his hand up your thigh, his lips falling to your neck–sucking the skin you only realize of late was so sensitive it’d cry if it had eye sockets–and his bulging erection pressing into the area right where your throbbing core would be. You murmur words of encouragement in his ear, the bitter taste of Smirnoff on your tongue mixing with the sweet taste of Jeonghan’s lips. He grunts in return, muffling himself as he bites down. “S-shit. I want this.”

He levels his gaze back to you, searching for the same desire in your eyes that he was feeling in him. “Do you want me, Yn? I won’t fuck you until you tell me you do.”

How far has this gone already?

You were only supposed to ‘distract’ the man, and although you actively were–he hadn’t thought to mention the friend he brought once tonight–maybe you were going a bit far. At this point of the night, you’ve got enough alcohol in you to say the shit you want but have complete control over your body. You were far from a lightweight. You could’ve stopped at any point in time. You should’ve stopped now–

“I, Y/n of clear and mind, solemnly swear that I want you, Yoon Jeonghan, to fuck me in this restroom. Is that clear enough for y–”

He wastes no time, pinning your arms against the mirror, smashing his lips against yours, and pushing his tongue through the gap of your mouth. You feel his chest heave, his hips roll, and his digits around your wrists wrap only tighter. A moan breaks out of your mouth and soon his hands leave to trap it, finding their way up your neck and up your hair. Your knees bend, pushing him closer, having you dangerously close to the edge. One wrong move and you go down with him.

Jeonghan is quick to notice, taking him only a second to tug your shorts off, adjusting you on the cool marble surface, and feeling the warmth of your arousal now drenching his fingers. He swallows in your breath, literally taking them away, and holds you by the waist as he parts your folds and drags a finger along the slit. You slightly shudder, the slightest touch of his raises goosebumps on your arms and you’re embarrassed at how quickly you fold.

He chuckles when he hears your gasp, narrowing his eyes back at you. “What? Never had someone touch your pussy before?”

The truth was a lot of men didn’t. In your experience, the ones you’ve been with were always more focused on self-gratification, rather than pleasing their partner. The ratio of either of you or them cumming was drastic, so close to making you give up hookups entirely.

You simply shake your head, watching as his gaze shifts to the glistening of your entrance before his fingers swallow up inside and he breathes in your whimpers with a proud grin. You press kisses against his lips in desperate bursts, urging him to do more than tease you. Your hips thrust against his digits, hand clutching the back of his head and fingering through his soft dark locks.

“Jeonghan,” you clench around him, squirming, “S-stop, fucking around. Just give it to me.”

“You’re so impatient,” His voice drops an octave, and the hair on the back of your neck stands, “Beg for it.”

“You’re the worst,” you squeak.

“Say it. Say how badly you want my cock inside you. I’ll give it to you.”

You already admitted to him you wanted him to fuck you, what more did he want?

You put on your best begging face—not like you had to try since you were already dying to have him inside you—you blink at him, pouting your lips, taking sharp breaths as he fucks his fingers in you deeper. You take your voice up a pitch, your whines coming too easily, and you roam your hand over his body, inching closer and closer to the tent built in his pants. “I want you inside me, Jeonghan.”

“More.”

“I want you to fuck me.” You persist.

“You can do better than that.”

“I need your cock inside me. I’m dying to have you fuck me with your cock,” your nails graze over the top button, already unclasping the hold of his pants to cup over his bulge, feeling it take up the whole surface of your palms. “Give it to me.”

Jeonghan twitches at your touch, hooking his fingers inside your pussy only to slam it at a ferocious speed his last run, your hand holding his clothed private in a balled fist. “Fuck.”

He lets his pants and underwear pool around his ankles, taking your underwear with him. In a brief sense of clarity, he looks for something and with sheer luck he finds it, staring back at him on top of the toilet tank, remembering how he set it aside when you accompanied him. He reaches out to claim it, tearing it open and rolls its latex material over his hard member. 

You sigh with contentment seeing him stroke his length, worried about how you’ll adjust to his size, and all that worry vanishes when he taps the head at your entrance, swirling it into your wet mess. His hand lands on the small of your back, pulling you against him, and deposits himself inside you. Your eyes lightly flutter, feeling how he stretches you out, “F-fuck…”

“Such a perfect pussy,” he compliments lowly, feeling your walls close around him like perfection, pulsing at the rate of your heartbeat.

His hands reach around your hips, guiding them to buck around his frame, and your legs are now locked around him. You grip the counter and throw your head back, the crown of your head hitting the mirror behind you but you hardly notice as Jeonghan splits you open.

You moan ‘yes’s, drool pooling in your throat. Jeonghan savors them, his thrusts steadily knocking back into you as he squeezes your backside, pressing into you. Your nails can’t help but crawl underneath his shirt and claw up against his back, a growl leaves Jeonghan’s lips. You feel his sweat beneath your palms, his skin burning at contact, and can’t think of a better reason to rip his shirt off. So you do just that, the shirt falls to the ground without a second thought, and in return, Jeonghan rips off the buttons of your blouse.

“Jeonghan!”

“You won’t need that anymore,” he laughs and pins your wrists back at the mirror to avoid your protests.

His hips don’t falter, and his mouth claims the skin of your nipples, biting them at the tip between his tongue swirling around your areola. You hard swallow, voice aching in need, so much need, it was crashing on you like a traffic accident. Obscenities flowed like water on your lips and they only get louder when Jeonghan plays against your clit, rubbing on its imperfect spherical shape and you feel as if you’re going to fall.

With all the force in his free arm, he clutches around your waist and rams his hips into you, not changing the fact you could still fall right off this counter but leverages you from doing so. You feel your climax coming close in the face of danger. The thrill of possibly hurting yourself as you were getting railed is a thought that hadn’t occurred to you until this very moment. You’d probably still keep going if your ass did fall on the ground, he was fucking you just that good. 

Your eyes roll back, contorting your lips until they repeat the words “I’m cumming” like a broken record for him to hear. He lands you no response, focused on his own high, but in this case, you didn’t mind.

The sensitivity from having already gotten off simply enhances the sensation of what happens next. Without a word, Jeonghan pulls you down from the counter and has your back towards his chest. Taking in your hair, he forces the cheeks of your face to meet the cold sink counter. Hand clashing against the flesh of your ass before he pokes through, taking you from behind.

“H-holy f-f-fuck…”

You feel his hips come up on your ass like lashings, only this kind of lashing was something you’re more than willing to be accustomed to. 

His pants are loud and clear, feeling you clench around him blissfully as you moan out his name. He tries not to think much of it, it was some meaningless hookup, nothing new. Then again, this was you, a friend of a friend, a common college student like him, but enticingly hot in the fitted clothes you decided to wear tonight. Of course, he’s thought about you once or twice seeing you in passing, wondering what it’s like to fuck you sideways. Even if it's just once. Or twice. Or if he’s lucky, for as long as you let him.

He shakes those thoughts away and places his focus on plowing into you, and you seem to greatly appreciate that.

He takes hands full of your hair, forcing you to look back at yourself. “You see that?”

Choking on your spit, you nod. “Y-yes.”

“What does that fucking look like?”

“It l-looks like you fucking me.”

The smug grin reappears on his face and he pulls harder against your scalp, lips pressing against the smooth of your cheek. “How am I fucking you?”

He playfully bites your cheek, snaking his other hand back to your clit, pinching in his fingertips when he’s not rubbing in. “S-shit.”

“Look at you a fucking mess for me. Can’t even tell me what I'm doing to you. Say it. I give you permission.”

You shut your eyes, tears forming from your overstimulated core, yet pushing back into him. “You’re fucking my pussy so good.”

He hums, shaking his head to move the fallen strands over his eyes, failing. “Say it again.”

“Your cock is fucking my pussy so damn fucking good.” You grit.

You watch him laugh through the reflection, and accelerate his thrusts, the shaky outline of your body the only thing apparent. Gripping the counter for dear life, you feel the sensation once again resurface, having Jeonghan’s climax to follow. Your jaw drops, sounds that could be mistaken for agony makes its escape and you feel your legs tremble under his weight. Jeonghan’s cheek lands on your back, panting out as he lets out his final pumps into the casing, feeling you weak in his embrace.

He pulls out of you, disposing of the condom, and seats you on the covered toilet seat, brushing sweaty strands of hair away from your face. You’re visibly worn out, eyes likely foggy from all the energy he’s sucked out of you, and he internally swells up in pride. “You okay?”

You look at him, eyes widening as if you just realized what happened. His pretty face is all you can see and you think to yourself, what in the hell did you get yourself into? “Yeah, yeah I am. Uh, thanks.”

He lightly grins and pulls up his clothes on the ground, getting them back on his body. “That was fun.”

“Yeah, it was,” You confess, “we should probably keep this to ourselves.”

“Mmhm.”

He expected that. He knew what this was. And pretending to not care was one of his many valuable qualities.

“Get dressed and come back around. Your friend is probably looking for you.”

He leaves you behind, and a bitter taste is left on your tongue, making you wonder why that is. 

That was really awkward, wasn’t it?

You do your best to cover yourself up with your ruined shirt, settling on tying it to your mid-drift, and wait a few minutes before leaving, looking at your phone finally to see the messages left behind. 

Kwanie: You’ll never believe what just happened to me!

Kwanie: hello

Kwanie: Is this revenge for me leaving you behind with jeonghan?

Kwanie: whatever im so happy I DONT EVEN CARE

Kwanie: i just came back, i see jeonghan. Where are you

You rush back to the common area of the house to join the party, seeing Seungkwan with his person of interest chatting up with Jeonghan, who looks relaxed as a man who just fucked you in someone’s personal bathroom can be. With a sheepish grin, you join the party, having Seungkwan meet your eyes in pure joy. He calls out your name and seamlessly you join them, enacting normal party behavior. 

Jeonghan barely bats an eye at you the rest of the night and you feel like you're drowning in your self-deprecating thoughts, thinking the worst. It all felt like a mistake. You definitely went way too far. And now by the looks of Seungkwan’s arm around Jeonghan’s friend, you’ll be seeing Jeonghan a lot more often. All for being a good friend.

[blowflyfag]

WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT/FEDERATION MAGAZINE: OCTOBER 2011

THE CULT OF CM PUNK

“All it took for The Straight Edge Superstar to turn the world upside-down and ignite the WWE Universe was one microphone. HEre we’ve given the “Voice of the Voiceless” another soapbox to explore his many issues with WWE management, his epic match at WWE Money In The Bank, his fellow Superstars who deserve a better shot, and what, if anything, is going to change now that he’ back for good. 

By JOHN MIHALY PHOTOGRAPHY BY PER BERNAL, DIGITAL IMAGING BY ERIC HEINTZ

[The Second City Saint reveals his cult of personality, and shows off his new T-shirt and WWE Championship during his unexpected return to WWE a week after leaving with the title (Raw, 7/25/11).]

In your estimation, what do you feel is wrong with WWE right now, and what would you do to change it?

What’s wrong with WWE right now is that there isn’t enough youth. Most of the ideas are old. They worked in The Attitude Era or in the ‘80s-and I'm not necessarily saying that they’re bad or they’re wrong-but they need updating, they need tweaking. There needs to be some young minds spinning the webs, so to speak. I’m sick of seeing people who are excellent wrestlers get passed over for people who have abs or who were good-string linemen in a European football league. I think there are a lot of people who, on their own terms, have made their own personas and perfected their craft simply out of love for what they do. They’re not trying to be bodybuilders or football players who fail miserably and then call their uncle or their dad and say, “Hey, I’ll give that wrestling thing a shot because I suck at everything else.”

Why do you think it’s such a strike against guys who-like yourself-are fans but aren't from a sports or bodybuilding background?

Now, this is complete speculation. I can't even tell you what somebody else is thinking. I can only say what I think works. And I'm not going to be right 100 percent of the time just like they're not going to be. Somewhere along the way I think we lost the Midas touch. This whole thing became uncool. I think people who love it aren’t going to go do something else  if they get fired. Like Colt Cabana. He’s a perfect example. He is a wrestler. If he gets hired and it doesn’t work out, he’s wrestling somewhere else the next day. He’s not trying to shoehorn himself into an accounting job. He’s a wrestler. He’s always going to be here. So I just think if you love wresting sometimes-maybe-you’re punished. You’re placed last in line. The attitude is: You’re always going to be here,  maybe we can use you later if we need you, but right now we’re going to use this guy because he was good at college football, and he didn’t quite make it in the NFL.

Another one of your gripes is how the WWE Championship looks. How would you redesign the title? What is the definitive look of that particular championship for you?

Oh god. How long is this interview? Honestly, I think old Dwayne used to have a cute little blue cow on his title or something. Then, of course, Stone Cold had the Smoking Skull title. I don't know. I think I could Straight Edge the hell out of that thing. A couple of “X”’s might make it look good. Make it look like a title should look like, and not make it look like some sort of weird, rapper bling. I feel the definitive look, though, is what I like to call “Bret Hart’s Title.” I think everyone likes to call it the “Winged Eagle Title.”That’s a little bit redundant. I’m pretty sure most eagles have wings. That’s the one that always sticks out in my mind.

This anger with your job has been festering for a while. Was there one moment backstage when you felt that you’d had enough?

I can name one off the top of my head. How about main-eventing a pay-per-view as the World Heavyweight Champion against Undertaker and then, a few months later, being in a dark match against R-Truth at WWE TLC? That’s pretty ignorant in my mind. This is the problem. We do this too many times to too many of the Superstars. It’s a start-stop kind of thing. The company likes to spotlight certain people. Like, “This week, Kofi’s cool,” and then, the next week, “We changed our minds-we like Dolph this week.” It flip-flops back and forth ad nauseam, and the next thing you know, the people couldn’t give a crap about either guy.

When did the powers that be really begin to take your leaving WWE seriously?

I told them probably a year out. They would say, “Hey, how about we talk about your contract?” And I would just say, “No, I don’t really feel like it.” And they would say, “Ok, back off. Punk’s crabby and temperamental.” We’ll get him next week.” And the next week it would be, “Hey let’s talk about it.” And then maybe eight or 10 months out, it was, “Hey, I really want to sit down. We really need to sign you a new deal.” And that’s when I straight up said, “No, I’m not interested.”

[CM Punk perches on the top rope to hear out The Chairman’s final contract offer (Raw, 7/11/11).]

Take us back to your title match at WWE Money In The Bank. What did you do differently that day knowing that could have been your last day on the job?

I don’t think I did anything different that day. I’m a man of my word. I wasn’t going to skip out on my contract earlier. I was going to let it run out. These to do, and I was going to let it run out. These are the terms. I agreed to and the dates I agreed to do, and I was definitely going to finish up. But I think I talked so much about everything and everybody that all eyes were on me and it created a high-pressure situation. Thankfully, I thrive very well in those situations. I’d say I pulled it off. All this stuff i talk about, about ebony the best in the world, I certainly proved it that night. The match went near the 35-minute mark But i wrestled for 93 minutes one time back in 2002 or 2003 in a Two-Out-Of-Three Falls Match.

You mentioned on the Bill Simmons B.S. Report podcast that you had made the decision to come back and resign at WWE Money In The Bank. Do you think your decision was at all clouded a little bit too much by all the emotion going on that day?

I can definitely put it aside. I can be a robot if I need to be. Resigning was something that was on my mind day -in and day-out whether I was at the gym or sleeping. I was dreaming about it, I was really trying to figure out what was the best decision for the company as a whole. I love what we do. I ‘m not going to get along with everybody I work with. I’m certainly not going to agree with everything all the time, But at the end of the day, I want everybody’s voice to be heard. I want this place to succeed. So I had to weigh my options. 

[The conquering hometown hero wins his first WWE Championship (To add to his three World Heavyweight Titles) at WWE Money In The Bank (7/17/11).]

They say  a man’s refrigerator is a window into his soul. When you Tweeted a photo of the WWE Championship inside your fridge the night you won, we couldn’t help but notice that there was a jar of peanut butter in there. Isn’t peanut butter meant to be stored at room temperature?

Is it? Why? I'm not saying we have to end the interview now, but here’s a good wrap-up for you: WWE has stored their peanut butter at room temperature for over 30 years; I'm putting it in the refrigerator now. It’s time for a damn change. I don’t eat my peanut butter like everybody else, I suppose. I don’t spread it on anything, because I try to stay away from bread and all that, so if I’m eating peanut butter, i take a spoonful of it, and i eat it like ice cream. It tastes better a little frozen. 

Another thing we noticed is that you used the “W” word a lot in your tirades these last weeks. How much do you dislike saying “sports-entertainment”?

I don’t hate it as much as you would think, but I really do think it’s ridiculous when you’re not allowed to say “wrestling.” At the end of the day, that’s what goes on in that ring. That ring is our stage. What we do on that stage is we wrestle. I’m not playing grab-ass. I’m out there fighting to win. Wins and losses mean something. Wrestling happens to be damn entertaining.

So is it weird to call yourself a “Superstar” as opposed to a wrestler?

I don’t think it’s weird. I think we’re all Superstars. Absolutely. I don’t think there’s anybody else who can be called that. Would you call Brad Pitt a Superstar? Do I think Brad Pitt can do what we do? Absolutely not! Brad Pitt gets scripts and lines to study months ahead of time and he has a very controlled setting in which he looks the best he possibly can. He has makeup on, there’s lighting, there’s people doing the sound and everything. We go out there on live TV every Monday night and kill it. That’s where the entertainment part comes in. It’s more entertaining than a Brad Pitt movie. There are no retakes, you know? There’s no Take 1, Take 2–”I screwed that up, let me do it again.” IF we screw up, we screw up. That’s the entertaining part. 

Entertaining was your baseball analogy equating John Cena to the Yankees-which caused him to punch you. But let’s follow that analogy a bit further. Earlier this century, your Chicago Cubs and the Boston Red Sox were quite similar. Then the Red Sox were quite the equivalent of baseball’s nouveau riche, effectively placing that franchise and fan base in line with the Yankees. Won’t the same thing happen to the Cubs when they win? And what about you? If you continue to win, wont you in turn become what you hate?

Possibly. We’ll have to wait and see. Is the same thing going to happen to me? It’s quite possible. That’s life, though. I really think it depends on the person. Am I going to change? Absolutely not. I'm not changing anything. Will the WWE Universe maybe get sick of me? I think the people get sick of anything if it's shoved down their throat. I think free-thinking people like variety, and they like change. There’s no reason why multiple people can’t be marketed correctly and in everybody’s face constantly so there’s a choice. 

[Punk ruffles the feathers (and tie) of new COO Triple H (Raw, 8/1/11), and hopes for a retro design akin to, in his words, “Bret Hart’s Title” (above left).]

One thing you did change is your entrance music, to Living Colour’s “Cult of Personality.” Did you consider anything else?

No, that was the one. It was a throwback to my Indie days, but it also just fit. I have tremendous guts, I’d like to say, and it was just a gut feeling that this was the right thing to do, to change my music now. Did I like my old song? Absolutely. Was it recognizable? Sure, I had it for five years. Was it time for a change? Was it a risky thing? Yes and yes. But ultimately, I think it was the right move. I haven't been able to get the song out of my head since last Monday. It’s a song that came out in 1989, when I was on my little league team, and now it just jumped into the iTunes Top 200. That’s powerful. That should speak volumes to the WWE management. They should say, “Holy crap, this kid has the power to do something like that. Let’s see what else he can do.”

What’s really different now that you’re back? What are we going to see that’s not status quo?

I don’t want to ruin any surprises, but i will tell you that when the Ramones were voted into the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame. This is, after all, the establishment that shunned the entire band for its entire career, and he wanted nothing to do with it. He was extremely adamant that, “No, you don’t get the privilege of having the Ramones in your little club.” My good friend, Lars Frederickson [of the band Rancid], got on the phone and said, “Marky, listen to me. You almost have responsibility to the underground to accept this award and be in the Hall of Fame to show that you are as big as the Beatles, you’re as good as Led Zeppelin, all these mainstream bands that the Ramones maybe never got credit on the same level as.” And that’s kind of how I feel about WWE right now. I’m a guy who, for all intents and purposes, never should have even made it to WWE. Then I had roadblock after roadblock thrown in my way. Not only did I get past those roadblock thrown in my way. Not only did I get past those roadblocks, I did it while flipping off the people who put up those roadblocks. I feel I have a responsibility to the younger wrestlers on the roster, the ones that aren't signed yet, and the future of wrestling as a whole, to help make this place better, and to change this place. I certainly can't change it by sitting on my couch in Chicago.

[wibixthecowboy]

Play the Song: Chapter 12: As we Breathe

Task Force 141 needs a new sniper and despite their complaints, they're assigned Flash, a joke-making, ABBA-listening, 20-year-old sharpshooter with better aim than the whole team combined. In other words, Ghost is practically handed the love of his life but he needs time to adjust because she's a firecracker.

Warnings/Tags: !graphic depictions of panic attacks!, references to suicide attempts (no descriptions), references to SA (no descriptions), Age gap (20/30-32), gore, descriptions of injury/blood/wounds, justified angst, tooth rotting fluff, slow burn, protective ghost, family dynamic, big brother soap has an attitude problem, father figure Price, wholesome brother Gaz, touch starved Ghost, eventual smut, praise, choking, thigh riding, unprotected (wrap it up people), size kink, oral f receiving, ghost will do anything to get his dick sucked, idk I’m sure it will get dirtier as I go, shifting POV  

A/N: I know what you all want and I am here to give it to you. Enjoy my two, severely emotionally underdeveloped loves interacting in (somewhat) non-deadly scenarios. 

Words: 6.7k

Side note: All of these characters are fictional! Please don’t be weird about their real life actors, leave them out of this and be respectful!

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Tag list: @urfavsunkissedleo @butskii @abbiesxox @itsasecrets-things @thatonewriterthatnooneknows @copiasratscheese​ @Sheviro-blog

★Flash

     “Will you just take the fucking applesauce?” Gaz’s voice is bordering a whine and Flash doesn’t feel the least bit guilty when she declines again. She is hungry, but her hunger doesn’t outweigh her need for entertainment. For something other than the dusty novel she’d snatched from Price weeks ago and the small window to her left.

For the last three days, she’s been stuck in her bed. Her only solace being short trips to the bathroom and the horrible nurse service being provided in shifts by Soap and Gaz. Both arrive either so guilt ridden or angry that their conversations are reduced to mumbled words.

After she’d passed out in the truck- passed out, not died, (a correction she’s had to make every time Soap decides to give her another rundown of what he likes to call her ‘Rick Grimes’ moment) the team was able to stop enough of the bleeding and get her to the nearest med bay before her heart stopped pumping.

She’d been kept sedated for the next four days, lulled into a hazy half conscious state by a concoction of epinephrine, morphine, and god knows what else. The magic drug- a more advanced and highly addictive form of a stim shot, had practically healed everything. By the third night, she’d been able to lay on her back without pain, and by the fourth, her injuries were reduced to bruising and two half healed and itching cuts on her shoulder blades and forehead. When the doctors had given her the order to ‘take it easy’ and ‘stay in bed for a few more days’ she’d nearly laughed in their faces. But after an awkward ride back to the base with Price, it was made clear that she’d be on her ass until the doctors cleared her.

Since then, she’s been rotting away in bed. With the fog of a rather severe concussion gone and only a slight wobble in her step, Flash felt confident enough to get back into training. Others, not so much.

“Stop coddling me and I just might.” Her words, although bitter, are spoken through a half smile. The joints of her legs ache with the need to move. She can’t remember the last time she’d gone longer than a day without some sort of physical exercise.

“Oh for fucks sake. Just take it.” Gaz lets out a frustrated groan and tosses the container and spoon at her blanketed legs. They land just shy of the unread paperback by her shin. A copy of ‘True Grit’ that Price had silently handed to her after she’d begged him to let her join their next raid. “Maybe Ghost will spoon feed it to you if you ask nicely enough.”

His hand freezes against the door handle and Flash’s eyes widen. That was the first Ghost had been mentioned since the incident. After his freak out. No one had spoken to her about it, so she didn’t bring it up. Other than foggy memories of him sleeping in a chair next to her bed at the med bay- his head lolled to the side in a way that made her knees weak. Ghost had been absent.

“Just eat the food.” Gaz says nothing more before slipping from her room and shutting the door gently behind him.

Guilt coils her stomach into a tight knot and the game that she’d been playing for the last few days loses its appeal.

The applesauce is dull and pasty, and when she swallows, it sticks in her throat like mud. The first night she’d woken up from her drugged sleep, she willed her memory to clear, to give her a picture of Ghost’s face that wasn’t blurred with tears and blood loss. But it was useless. After that, avoiding thinking about the last few moments in the truck had been easy. Until now.

Although every sense of hers had been compromised, her brain had no problem recalling every point of contact that Ghost had made. As if her body remembering the gentle way he held her hand against his cheek was more important than remembering to breathe. As if it still is. The healing drugs didn’t touch the burns left by his desperate hands.

The scraping of her spoon against the nearly empty plastic cup does nothing to drown out the now crashing waves of memories. Him grasping at her legs and shoulders to haul her to the truck, begging her to keep her eyes open, removing his mask. The last bite of her applesauce tastes of brine and copper and it gags her. When she coughs the skin of her hand comes back splattered with shining red. Stumbling to the bathroom, Flash drops to the blessedly cool tile in front of the toilet but the food weighs heavily in her stomach, refusing to move despite the foul taste in her mouth. When she looks down there’s a splatter of pureed apple across her right hand where the blood stained just moments ago.

Avoiding her two mirrors, Flash rinses her hands, ties her hair back, and changes her clothes for the first time in three days. She needs out, and god help anyone who tries to stop her.

_____

     The hot Las Almas sun burns the sensitive skin of Flash’s scabbed and stitched shoulders and sends a steady stream of sweat gliding down her spine that drops to the dusty dirt road just a few minutes from their base. She’d found it while stalking Ghost on one of his runs after a dull morning of training. Now it serves as the perfect place for her to slip away unnoticed and run until her feet bleed.

She’d been going for about an hour already, entranced by the steady thump of her braid against her back as she let the hot afternoon sun dry the waves that so violently threatened to pull her under. An angry, clouding storm of failure covers every expanse of her mind. She’d failed the one chance she’d been given. Price had finally given her an in, a way to prove what she’d so desperately been trying to show them, and she’d blown it in less than an hour.

A familiar crunch of tires sounds from behind her and she moves to the edge of the rough dirt road, giving the truck room to pass, but it slows to match her pace. When she glances over, she nearly stumbles on a loose stone. Ghost is sat in the driver's seat, one arm steering at the base of the wheel and the other holding a bottle of water out the window.

“You don’t have to say anything, just take the water and I’ll leave.” His voice is withdrawn, quiet in a way that tells Flash that he understands her need for silence. And when she takes the bottle from his bare hand, the faded scars only prove her right.

He watches her drink and she pretends not to notice as the water wets her parched mouth and throat. When she finishes that one, he gently pulls it from her grasp and another is pressed into her empty hand. Flash sips this time, breathing deeply between swallows, catching the breath she hadn’t noticed she’d lost. His gaze falls to her shaking knees and the shivering of her strained thighs and she waits for him to admonish her, to order her back to the base and put a padlock on the door this time, but he only turns away to set the empty bottle somewhere in the back seat.

“Do you want to drive with me?”

The question catches her off guard. The softness with which its spoken, still detached and hesitant but sentimental nonetheless. She opens her mouth to deny, admit that she’s ran this far to be alone, but the aching in her chest tugs towards him like a magnet.

Silently, she rounds the car, slides into the passenger seat, and Ghost continues driving wordlessly down the path, at a leisurely unhurried speed. With the windows down, the hair that had fallen from her braid flutters around her face in the light wind, tickling the bare and damp skin of her neck. She licks the dry skin of her lips and tastes the salt beaded at the bow of her mouth.

The slow roll of sand dunes calms the racing of her heart and she syncs her breathing to their soft shapes, in with the incline and out with the descent. Her sweat slick legs stick uncomfortably to the warm leather seat but the relief of resting her strained muscles surpasses the discomfort.

Flash closes her eyes against the bright setting sun, oranges and yellows shine brightly in the sudden darkness and the knot in her stomach loosens enough that she can fill her lungs completely. Fresh air, spun with the sappy golden light spilling across the desert blows across her face and cools the twin trails trickling over the curves of her cheeks. Salt spreads across her tongue, but this time it carries something much heavier. They come faster now, rivulets running and turning into streams that course over her chin and down her neck, bleeding into the sweat soaked collar of her shirt. She doesn’t open her eyes as the crushing weight of the fear she’d felt sets in. So she cries. She cries for what could have happened, what would have happened if she hadn’t pulled herself from the water, and hates every second of it.

Then a warm hand is nudging her own. Ghost, in a silent mimic of her gesture from days before, wraps his smallest finger around her own and squeezes. The fear lessens, pulling back to a dull throb against her ribcage. She doesn’t open her eyes as she unwraps their pinkies and slides her hand into his to lock their fingers in a tight hold. His hand envelops her own, warm and comforting, and she fastens herself to him like a tether to a dock. Afraid that if she lets go she just might drift out of reach.

They say nothing as they cling to each other, and Flash doesn’t dare turn her now open eyes to Ghost, afraid that she’ll snap their tether by acknowledging it. So she keeps her gaze on the pinks and purples sprawled across the dimming sky and tries to ignore the burning disappointment when one final turn brings the familiar concrete building into view.

“Can we do one more loop, I can’t- I-” She begins to ask, faltering when Ghost obliges without hesitation. And a burning sense of endearment spreads so quickly through her that the stinging behind her eyes recedes. Blinking away the thick tears still lining her lids, Flash sniffs once and then sags further into her seat.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

His question is a formal invitation, an obligated question. One she’s been asked on multiple occasions and refused each time. She could ignore it now and it wouldn’t be brought back up, she knows that for a fact. But whether it's the burning need to confess or the lack of social interaction, Flash feels the confession loose from her mouth in a stream that she can’t seem to stop.

“I killed him with a rock.” Even though the words are spoken by her, the depravity of the statement makes her heart stutter. “When I missed with my knife I just smashed his head in with a rock.” The memory flashes through her mind, a stunted and bloody reel of pictures. “It was too easy.”

A long stretch of silence fills the space between them and Flash can’t help but worry he’ll slam on the breaks and shove her out, tell her just how damaged she must be to resort to something so animalistic, so beyond human norm. The weight of his hand in hers grows cold and she has the sudden urge to tuck herself into the small space at her feet, away from the heavy words floating between them and the piercing blue eyes at her side.

“When you know someone coming to kill you Flash, everything turns primal. It’s not something you learn through lectures. I’m sorry you had to learn so quickly.” His words are like a balm to her nerves. Petting back the raised hackles of her mind. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to stop it.”

“It’s the SAS Ghost. Things happen. I won't always have someone there to save the day.” She speaks firmly but turns to Ghost with a sad smile, the action has the dried tracks of her tears itching. When she brings her empty hand up to wipe her cheeks, the dirt lining her fingers has her squeezing it back under her thigh.

He lapses back into his familiar silence and Flash tries not to think about the dirt wiping from her hand onto his own clean skin where their palms meet. Then becomes increasingly aware of the dust clinging to her thighs and arms and how it rubs off onto the dark surfaces of the truck. Ghost doesn’t say anything. His unoccupied hand taps lightly against the steering wheel, another quirk that Flash quickly learned meant he was picking his words carefully.

“Knowing something is going to happen doesn’t make it any easier to cope with.” The tires crunch as dirt turns into gravel, they’re just minutes away from the base now.

His words, although validating in their own way, crack open a spot in her steeled mind that she is nowhere near ready to unravel. So instead of responding, she closes her eyes and lays back against the seat, focusing on holding the now cool night air in her lungs. She grips Ghost’s hand steadfastly. When they pull into the lot this time, her mind feels clearer and when she releases his hand to go inside, she feels a little less broken.

_____

★Ghost

     Although her eyes are focused on Price, taking in every word he speaks with an endearing efficiency, Ghost still watches them. Searching for the voided, lost look that most recruits adopted after their first incident. The look that he’d seen hints of while driving with her hours before. But the blue remains sharp as they scan the layout of the next warehouse they’d be raiding. A dilapidated barn just a few miles from Alejandro’s ranch. They would leave tomorrow to spend the next two days planning their approach with Alejandro and his team. His bag, packed the moment he got back from their drive, waits next to his door. It was his desperate attempt to keep himself in his room. To keep himself busy so he didn’t cross through the bathroom and to Flash’s door to press his ear against the wood. Just to make sure she was still there, still breathing.

It was easy to brush off at first. The shaking was from strained muscles and elevated heart rate from his morning jog. But that day, when she’d come over the hill looking half dead, still clutching a bloodied rock, the fear, and dread that gagged him was undeniable. The anxiety that shook his experienced hands as he attempted to wrap unwilling bandages over a seemingly unending expanse of flowing blood was beyond uncharacteristic. Soap had taken the gauze from his hands and shoved him to the side, working with Gaz to stop the bleeding. Her clouded, half-lidded gaze had sent him into a shaking, gasping sort of fit and it was Soap who had ripped the pill bottle from Ghost’s pocket and shoved two of the pills into his palm with shaking, bloodied hands before returning to monitoring Flash’s heart rate.

After getting her to the med bay and stabilized, he’d remained at her side for the entire stay. The gentle flutter of her eyelashes was his only respite as she drifted in and out of a drugged sleep. The only time he left her side was to slip into the staff bathroom and to down another cup of the never-ending supply of dirt instant coffee the front office kept. Price had ordered him back to the base hours before she was to be taken off the sedative. It was a short exchange over the phone, gruff, tired, and ending in a snapped command.

When Price returned with her that night, Ghost had been waiting in the window. He wasn’t sure what his plan was, but when he saw the way Price had to practically lift her from the passenger seat and brace her as she limped to the door, he’d retreated back to his room, unable to look at the bandages at her temple, ones he wasn’t capable of tying. Instead choosing to curl against his headboard and choke on uneven breaths until a drug haze pulled him under.

Looking at her now, nothing like the small girl, pale skinned and drowned in hospital blankets, the beating of his heart doesn’t slow. Soap, next to him, is doodling small flowers on the mission summary and Gaz sitting beside Flash, is tugging at her sleeve. After one particularly harsh tug, she whips around in her chair and levels him with a harsh glare, when she goes to turn back, her eyes catch his. The irritation melts from her brow and Ghost struggles to keep his breath steady when his gaze drops to the blue-green bruise that still curves along her cheekbone. Flash catches his line of sight and lets the hair tucked behind her ear fall into her face, covering the bruising entirely when she turns back to Price. But the image remains, permanently branded against the large corner of his mind she’s always occupying.

They go on like that for the rest of the meeting. Eyes occasionally meeting only to hover for a moment before flitting away. Acting like he hadn’t just watched her shatter in the small cab of his truck an hour before. He knew better than to push though, the need to just forget was more familiar to him than it should be. So he watches her take notes instead, careful little words in the spaces between paragraphs with a pencil he now recognizes as his own. Stolen from the space next to his paper, he hadn’t even noticed. And despite everything, amusement flickers in his chest, and a familiar warmth tightens his ribs. Ghost dips his head down to level his eyes with Flash, glancing at the pencil in her hands and up to her waiting gaze. She smiles at him. It’s half done, morphed into a slight grimace from the split in her lip, but it still carries her usual air of mischief. And he thinks that maybe, things might be okay.

_____

★Flash

     Flash is brushing her teeth when she sees Ghost again. Her hair still damp and curling from the shower she’d taken to scrub the dried sweat and dust from her skin. She’d also braved a look in the mirror. A small blue-purple bruise curves along her skin between her cheekbone and eye, a half healed split at her lower lip, and a stitched line at her temple were all that remained of her encounter. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but better than she’d been expecting. Her shower though, had run out of her allotted bathroom time and into Ghosts. It wasn’t the first time it happened, but when it did, he would politely apologize and leave her to finish.

But now, dressed in joggers and a delightfully worn shirt, he hovers in the open doorway. She wonders if he feels it. The pull.

He’s about to turn and leave when Flash finds herself mumbling through a mouthful of toothpaste, “Don’t leave I’m almost done.” She’s not quite sure why she asks him to stay, but she does.

Flash can’t help but smile at the way his socked feet shuffle awkwardly against the tile, not sure where to stand. It’s incredibly sweet, and the softness of the action only strengthens the pull that begs her to step forward and into him.

“So,” Flash starts, spitting her toothpaste into the sink before continuing to lazily brush in half circles, “do I get to see your face now? Or is that something you reserve for people who are near death?” In one smooth movement, she’s resting on the counter in front of him, hoping the toothbrush hanging from her lips hides the wince as her sore muscles strain. “Ya know, like a ‘I can show you but then I’d have to kill you’ type a’ situation?”

Ghost is silent, unresponsive to her prodding. Any other night he would have told her to drop it and go to bed. Maybe give her a snarky response if she’s lucky. But tonight he’s quiet, just as before. And then she sees it. The way his shoulders curve inward and the flickering of his eyes as they move to look at anything that isn’t her.

“You know it's not your fault right?” Flash’s voice is soft, the same one she’d use to coax a scared dog from a corner.

“What?” A whisper.

“It’s not your fault.” She slides from the counter, leaving her toothbrush next to the basin, she walks quietly towards him. Cautious, slow enough for him to back away, she reaches up to brush a hand against his face. It’s a daring move but he doesn’t pull away.

The cotton of the mask is warm from being so close to the heated skin of his cheeks. Golden lashes brush against them and their freckled surface as his lids shutter closed. Flash drinks in the rare moment of softness. Her mind drifts back to her last few moments in the truck, how warm the skin of his face had been and suddenly, she’s never wanted anything more in her life.

“Can I touch-” Her words breathe out into the empty space between them and Ghost’s eyes fly open, wide and searching her own.

“Blindfold, I - can you wear a blindfold?” His words are stuttered and rushed with a desperation she can’t even begin to understand. Flash offers him a silent nod and then the space in front of her is empty.

She lifts herself back onto the counter, just to busy herself as she listens to the opening of a drawer and the quiet whisper of him digging through clothes in his room. He returns with a beautifully patterned terracotta scarf. Like the one’s she’d seen at the market. He sets it gently in her lap but she pushes it back into his hands.

“Here, you can tie it. So you know I’m not peeking.”

He nods once before taking the brown fabric with shaking hands and folding it into a neat strip and leaning in close to wrap it gently around her eyes. Flash senses his hesitation as he pauses before tying the knot. Wary of the bruise beneath her eye. She gives her best reassuring smile and it seems to do the trick.

“Is that too tight?” He whispers and Flash shivers as his breath fans across her ear, light and warm.

“No. It’s perfect.”

There’s a gentle rustle of fabric and then his mask is resting on her lap. Nerves beat her heart up into her throat.

“Are you scared?” Her whisper is careful, spoken into the quiet space between them. A question spoken to him but a silent admission of her own.

“Yes.”

“It's only me.” She can’t help but smile at his honesty.

“That’s what I’m scared of.”

“Can I touch you?” She murmurs, and he hums a confirmation. It’s a quiet, broken noise.

A soft sigh breaks the silence when the pads of her searching fingers meet his cheek and draw upwards to a rather prominent cheekbone. She can’t help but smile at the heat she feels beneath her fingers, he’s blushing.

Quick breaths come from his nose, followed by two long exhales. Subtle enough that if she weren’t inches from his face would have gone unnoticed, but his warm breath falls against the small strip of her cheeks left uncovered by the scarf. Her heart swells in her chest when she realizes he’s attempting to calm himself.

“Why do you keep trying?”

His words catch her off guard and her exploring fingers come to a halt at his browbone. A displeased huff urges them on and to a soft brow. Flash takes a moment to think, but it doesn’t take her long to find a response.

“Because you deserve to heal.” Ghost turns his head into her hand, muffling a groan. It’s a noise unlike anything she’s ever heard before. An amalgamation of sadness and desperation that makes the blood in her veins slow to listen.

“Has no one ever told you that?”

“No.” He speaks into her palm, hiding his face as if she could see him through the scarf.

“Well, you do.” She smiles softly and flinches in surprise when his thumb brushes against the soft skin of her lower lip. He pulls back quickly,

“Sorry, I-”

“No, you’re fine.” Flash reaches down and grabs for his hand, bringing his thumb up to her lips again when she finds it. He takes a shuddering breath and she wishes for just a moment that she could pull the blindfold up from her eyes and look at him, see the way his body is reacting to her touch, rather than feeling, and hearing it.

“Your smile.” His thumb parts the plush of her lips, so gently she almost doesn’t feel it.

“What about it?” She can’t help but laugh at his odd remark.

His face under her hand moves, and a familiar divot forms under her ring finger.

“Oh good lord you have dimples?” She breathes against his hand.

“Just on the left.” His words are murmured, shy if she thought he was capable of such an innocent emotion. And in the warm darkness of the bathroom, without seeing the scars on his hands or the dazed look his eyes so often held, she realizes just how innocent he is. The boyish way he holds her face, similar to the way a child learning to write struggles to grip a pencil. Like the concept of touching someone without the intent of harm is as foreign to him as a new language. And the realization absolutely crushes her.

“Freckles, dimples, blue eyes. You must be a real stunner.” She teases, an awful attempt to fight the burning behind her eyes. The skin beneath her hand warms again and the overwhelming urge to throw herself into him is consuming, to wrap herself so tightly around him that their skin fuses and they become one. The thought is as terrifying as it is tempting.

“Far from it.”

She frowns at his words but the hand on her face smooths her brow in a gentle caress. Her next exhale comes shakily through her nose.

Braving the waters, Flash traces up the soft curve of his cheek and her fingers catch on slightly raised skin, silkier than the rest, a scar. It travels from his left cheekbone to his hairline just above his eyebrow.

“How did this happen?” Her imploring question is light and spoken without pressure. He could leave it unanswered if he wished.

“My father.” His response is quiet but it’s a scream to her ears. Images of him as a child, a defenseless teen screaming as he clutched his head in pain fill her mind in a rush. She quickly moves on. Feeling for more, battle-oriented scars, but she feels none.

“Do you have any more?”

A rumbling laugh vibrates down her arm and warms her chest.

“Plenty. Although the reconstructive surgeries helped, there’s always going to be a mark.”

“Where?”

A gentle hand reaches for hers and guides her fingers in an arc from the corner of his mouth to a point near his hairline. She traces the spot over on her own until she feels the slight change in texture, the jagged shape that whatever had cut him left behind. She didn’t dare ask its origin.

“Your scars make mine seem like papercuts.” A nervous laugh blows past her lips.

“And I hope it stays that way.” He glides warm fingers just inches from the stitches on her temple. “You already have enough.”

“Nothing near as cool as yours.” She protests, tracing his cheek once more to emphasize her point.

The room is silent, and for just a moment, she thinks she's ruined it and then he’s laughing again. Stuttered like he hasn’t had enough practice, and Flash wishes he’d never stop.

“What?” She asks, incredulous.

“I’ve never had someone call my scars cool.” The stuttered laughs come through his nose now, in gentle breaths of air that warm her own cheeks.

Another mostly nervous laugh looses from her parted lips at the absurdity of their situation. If someone told her a year ago, as she unabashedly stared at Ghost giving his lecture, that she’d be on the counter of their shared bathroom, blindfolded and committing his face to memory with her hands she’d probably laugh. And then file a report.

Flash smiles shyly before bringing her other hand up to gently cup his face, eager to change the topic. “Is this normal?” She breathes as he leans further into her, now pressing against the counter space between her legs. Heat radiates from him, warming her in a way she’s never felt before.

“Is what normal?”

“Wanting to touch you so badly my chest aches.” The admission makes her heart stutter in embarrassment and something warm and syrupy slows the muscles of her mouth.

“I don’t think so.” His answer is mumbled, and before she can feel the sting of rejection, he’s pressing his forehead to hers in an almost feline gesture.

Their lips are just inches away, all she’d have to do is tilt her head up and they’d be kissing. The thought sends her heart thumping so painfully that her stomach rolls with nerves. Enough that she just savors the closeness they have already.

“I feel like I’m going to puke.” She whispers to him with a nervous smile and instantly regrets it. There’s just something about his presence that loosens her tongue in ways it shouldn’t.

But then Ghost is laughing again and pressing his forehead harder against her own. “Me too.”

And the confession is orchestral.

Her arms reach from where they’re pinned between them and up into the soft curls at the nape of his neck. A muffled moan is pressed into the skin of her neck so she does it again, a gentle scrape through his hair. Tremors wrack his body in waves. Then he’s pulling away and her hands are slipping from his shoulders too soon.

“Off the counter, face the mirror.” Although his voice is still soft and shaken, it’s demanding enough that Flash doesn’t protest. She feels him reach around her for something on the counter, muscled chest pressing close to her shoulder.

“I’m getting some deja vu.” Ghost’s murmur is quiet and entirely self-indulgent.

“To what?” Flash’s brows furrow in confusion under the soft silk.

“Well uh-” His words stumble out, unprepared. “That night you took that pill?”

Flash’s stomach sinks and her tongue sticks to the roof of her mouth when she responds. “Uh-huh.”

“You were struggling a bit with cleaning the scratches. You couldn’t even hold the cloth.”

“Oh god.” Even with the scarf on her face, Flash still has to drop her head in her hands. “I didn’t do anything weird? Did I?” She thinks back to the table that morning, Soap's laughing and Ghost's not so subtle smile.

“No.” Ghost runs a finger slick with a paste that she quickly recognizes as the salve the doctor had given her for sore joints over her skin. Far from the scratches and cuts on her shoulders. She practically purrs at his touch combined with the cooling effect of the paste. “But you’re very touchy.”

Embarrassment floods hot through her chest and she starts to apologize but Ghost interrupts her again.

“Don’t apologize.” Those fingers drift up and to an unblemished space just past her shoulder. “Just be quiet and let me make up for my mistake.”

“You don’t have to-” Her words end in a sharp moan when his fingers dig into a tender spot against her neck. “Holy shit.” His fingers fumble a bit but he regains his composure quickly, returning back to the spot and rubbing delightful small circles against the knot. “Jesus-” Her mumbling is cut off with a soft hush and she finally gives in, dropping her chin to the heated skin of her chest as he loosens the muscles that had grown stiff after days in bed. When he reaches a spot along the arch of her spine, smoothing deep half circles into the muscle there, a broken whine falls involuntarily from her mouth. It’s entirely pathetic but she’s too far gone to care. This last sound seems to signal him though and he’s stepping back, dropping those magic hands from her lower back.

“Okay.” His voice is breathy ghost of a whisper and despite never seeing his face, Flash knows that if she were to pull the blindfold from her eyes, he’d be shaking and casting his eyes to the floor, those precious strawberry blonde curls falling across his forehead, and cheeks ruddy with the warm blush she’d felt just minutes before. But she leaves it tied neatly against her damp hair, even though her fingers itch to slide the soft fabric from her eyes.

There’s a rustling, Ghost is reaching past her to grab something from the counter and she can practically smell the anxiety leaking from his skin, along with something else she hadn’t noticed until now.

“Is that citrus?” She tries not to sound too surprised, she shouldn’t be. It had been one of the first things she’d noticed when flopping herself onto his bedding. Something she did not want to think about.

“It’s uh- oranges?” He sounds unsure, Flash is about to point this out but he continues. “My mum wore it.” There’s another brief pause. She can practically hear his internal debate over whether or not he should continue. “It’s- It helps with- anxiety.”

“Oh.” She stands there for another moment, not wanting to leave quite yet, but not having anything to say. He doesn’t move either, just stands quietly in front of her. “I like it.”

“Me too.”

Gentle fingers slide the scarf from her eyes, the light of the bathroom is blinding and she has to blink several times to clear the dots from her vision. When her eyes finally focus, she cranes her head upward from the soft cotton of his chest. Ghost’s eyes are staring into the mirror above her, at himself. There’s a small strip of exposed skin between his shirt and balaclava. She can see the collarbone that she’d whispered to so many nights ago.

“I’m going to bed.” She says to the strip, and without looking back at his face, turns and walks as calmly as she can to her room. Even though the racing of her heart screams at her to run, to hide, to grab him by his stupid masked face and kiss him.

The last thought scares her enough that she shuts the bathroom door with a bit too much force. The sound makes her jump. It’s entirely pathetic but the creeping sickness from this morning is gone, replaced with something much much worse. Something deadly, something terrifying, something that makes her want to laugh and cry. So she does both.

It doesn’t help.

_____

     Flash can’t wipe the love-sick smile off her face as she walks to their small kitchen. Her water bottle swinging in time with her steps.

“He won’t always be like that.”

The metal bottle clangs loudly against the concrete when her hand slackens in surprise.

“What?” She breathes, heart beating wildly in her chest.

“I said, he won't always be like that.” Soap says from the small couch in the ‘living room’. He’s draped himself lazily over the arm and is flicking through an old copy of the ‘New Yorker’. A cartoonish drawing of pointing Uncle Sam is printed on the front under bold red letters reading ‘I WANT YOU’.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She says calmly, swiping her bottle from the floor and continuing towards the sink, averting her eyes from the dramatic cartoon.

“Oh don’t play coy. You’re smiling like a fuckin’ teenager in love Lass. I know.” His tone isn’t accusing, if anything it's bored. Like he couldn’t be bothered to finish the conversation he’d started. “He’s true to his name. He’ll be kissing you like he needs you to breathe, and then the next mornin’ float right by you. Stings like a bitch. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“How do you know?” She asks over the flowing tap. “Did you two...” Her half question drifts, waiting for him to pick up. It takes the metal burning into her palm for Flash to realize the water is steaming, she tips the bottle over and starts again.

“Were we together?” He flips another page, casual, like he’s not admitting to fucking his best friend. “I guess you could call it that.”

“He wasn’t interested in that... stuff?” She thinks back to the way his hands trembled the first time he’d touched her, and the way he practically vibrates when their bodies come within inches of each other.

“No,” a devilish chuckle comes from behind the paper “we didn’t have trouble in that department.”

“So you were a thing?” She asks and is blindsided by a sudden burning in her chest. It curls around to tense the line of her shoulders, bringing them closer to her ears like raised hackles.

He finally lowers the magazine and shakes his head at her reaction. “No need to get possessive. It lasted about two months before he realized that fucking every ten minutes wouldn’t fix his shit load of issues.” His words immediately drench her in a cool wave, and an embarrassing guilt flushes high in her cheeks, along with a biting sympathy at his confession. “My feelings were unrequited, unfortunately.” He gives her a sad smile. “He needs someone who isn’t broken. He needs someone who can guide him out of the shit storm he’s been led into.” The magazine is flipped back open and brought back up, his tone turns curious. “Someone like you.”

She starts to deny, to tell him that she is far from unbroken, but Soap waves another hand at her.

“Don’t bother, I don’t care.” A plain lie. “I just wanted to warn you. He can be-” a pregnant pause splits his words, “he can be challenging. He’s got a cargo container of shit that he hasn’t even begun to unpack. It can lead to some pretty rough mood swings.” Soap puts the magazine back down. “What I’m trying to say is he’s a real piece of work, but if anyone deserves the help, it’s him. I just hope you’re the right person.”

Flash can hear the unspoken words ring through the air between them.

‘Because I wasn’t’

When Flash reaches Ghost’s door in the bathroom, away from the prying eyes still pretending to read the old magazine, she knocks softly, waits a few moments, and then knocks again. There’s no response.

He’s blocked himself off again.

Disappointed and trying not to think of Soap’s words, Flash slinks dejectedly back to lie in her bed. Her IPod still lay on her nightstand, nestled in the center of a neatly swirled nest of wires. Right where Ghost had put it her first night there.

Then for some reason, imagining him taking the time to do something so unimportant with so much care, for her no less, sends a wave of something nearing homesickness through her. A brittle sort of feeling. And for the first time in over five years, Flash has the urge to call her sister.

“This is not good.”

A/N: AHHH MY AWKWARD LITTLE BABIES. I hoped you loved this as much as I loved writing it. God I love unhinged relationships, they’re just *chefs kiss*.  

[emeritus-fuckers]

Oh my GOD, FINE. Give me Secondo hate-fucking Ol Jim-boy. Since he’s such a WHORE for the devil.

Secondo hate-fucking Father Jim Defroque

It was meant to be a regular party. For both of them. Two priests of opposing Churches, both brought to the same nightclub to party, seeking fun in the music, the alcohol, the drugs, the sex...

And all those things lead them right here. Well, the music not so much as drugs and alcohol. And the sex was much more of a result, but it didn't really matter.

What mattered was the fact that Father Jim's ass was absolutely destroyed by the Satanic pope. They were at some shitty motel near the club they went to, Jim's face buried in the pillow as the older man railed him.

And he took it. Because sure, Papa Emeritus II despised him, but fuck, that giant cock of his felt really fucking good as it hammered in and out of him, making his eyes roll back into his skull and see stars with each insult.

Father DeFroque was usually a rather dominant man, having other people jumping his dick or sucking it. Sure, the occasional bukkake would happen every once in a while, but he very rarely allowed anyone to destroy him like that.

Jim's hand was getting sore from how furiously he was jacking himself off by Secono's command. While he couldn't see the Papa's face, he just felt the damn smirk on his face when he suddenly stopped moving, leaving that giant cock of his buried deep inside him.

Father DeFroque was desperate. If he was told to bark, he'd bark. If he was told to beg, he'd beg. Just for him to keep moving. And Secondo knew that. He knew exactly what he was doing when he reached down and squeezed DeFroque's balls, ordering him to pray.

He knew exactly what he was doing, and Jim's whimper just made him feel like tormenting the priest even more. So he listened to him sob out prayers as he kept squeezing. Painfully.

It was entertaining to him. And Jim greedily took all his hatred and cruelty because it was probably the best fucking he ever had in his entire life. And that odd combination made one thing clear...

They're gonna be here for a while.

~

Written by Nosferatu.

Taglist: @charlie-is-a-menace @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @calliedion-dungeon @randominstake @callmeicaro @dio-niisio @firefirevampire @mybotanicaldemise @emo-mess @natoncesaid @sirlsplayland @thatoddboy @ouijaboardemo @lightbluuestars @strawberriiblossoms @emo-mess @igodownjustlikeholymary

[marley-manson]

Xena:WP for the ask meme!

Thank you 💖

my favorite female character

Xena man. Untoppable. There will never be another female character as satsfying and gratifying to watch as her - not just because I'm cynical but also because the kind of power fantasy she is is tied to the tone and genre of the show, which is functionally dead now.

I love that she's not just the best most competent warrior and person in the room almost every time, but that everyone acknowledges it, and by season 6 it's just taken as a fact of the worldbuilding that Xena is the best mortal fighter in the world and cannot be defeated. I love that she has an evil past and still slips into it at times, sometimes with actual fucked up results (fuck yeah the rift). Love that she does have the capacity to be a danger to Gabrielle and it's part of their relationship that they have to deal with. Love that she's toppy in her het encounters (but it's also implied sometimes Gabrielle doms and that's hot), and watsonianly at least it's for her own gratification rather than for the men, who are generally less into that dynamic.

Love her stoicism but also love that she loosens up eventually and can be goofy. Love that she loves fishing, loves fighting, loves fucking, all unabashedly. She has shame but it's for her past evil actions as a warlord, not for her intrinsic personality traits, even the ones that contributed to the warlording. Love her body language, how she fights as a power house sword and sourcery style warrior rather than as a lithe acrobat (though she can pull out the acrobatics too of course), how Lucy Lawless makes her feel larger than life. Love that she's bi and has multiple female love interests pre Gabrielle.

etc lol. I could go on forever.

my favorite male character

So few to choose from lol, so I think it's gotta be Ares. Some of his episodes make me cringe (Ties that Bind eg lol) and he often sucks, but he's consistently an entertaining villain, I love the frenemy vibe he eventually falls into with Xena, I don't dislike most of his shit in season 5, love his mortal episodes, love that he never gets together with Xena but don't mind shipping them a little on the side.

Caesar has also kinda grown on me this rewatch after not giving a fuck at all about him the first time I watched. His dynamic with Xena is interesting.

my favorite book/season/etc

I think season 2 is probably the best season, but despite some lows I think my favourite is actually season 4. It has a few of my favourite episodes (Paradise Found, Crusader, Ides of March) and I love the overarching theme of exploring Xena's darkness and saying it's great, actually.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

God now this is impossible to choose. I've never fully thought about it lol. Have a list of some faves: A Day In the Life, The Price, The Debt, When in Rome, Crusader, Paradise Found, Ides of March, You Are There, To Helicon and Back

my favorite cast member

no opinion

my favorite ship

Xena/Gabrielle of course. They're one of those ships that's incredibly fun to watch to see how far they'll push the gay subtext, but also has extremely solid chemistry, a lot of drama and episodes revolving around their relationship and love for each other, and enough darkness and angst to be interesting. And the old fandom often actually leaned into the drama and darkness rather than ignoring it! Modern f/f fandom needs to learn from their elders tbh.

a character I’d die defending

I was gonna say Xena, but honestly I'm a lawyer for the prosecution there lol, I like to emphasize everything that makes her darker or evil, rather than exonerating her. My defense is 'she did all those things and it was awesome.'

Oh, Najara! I'll defend her to the death for sure, anyone who hates her is wrong, including whoever wrote her second episode lol.

a character I just can’t sympathize with

There are characters you're not supposed to sympathize with, like Alti who's just evil for the sake of evil lol, but that feels like cheating as an answer. Also Michael lol, love that he's a villain in season 6 and totally sucks. Can I say the God of Love in general lol? Fuck all that shit.

a character I grew to love

Joxer 😑 It took 4 whole seasons but I did eventually warm up to him enough that Livia (episode) made me sad lol. Love is a strong word but on rewatch I was fond of him and found him more funny than annoying.

my anti otp

Hmmm... Gabrielle/Joxer maybe?

ask meme

[webslingingslasher]

what do you think frat!peters favorite one of troubles shows to watch is?? like he would mock most of her shows so much, but there's DEFINITELY a couple that he just gets sucked into.

me, personally, i love a good brain rot reality tv. peter would def make fun of it, and call it shallow, and scripted, but be hooked.

'wait, you really watched more without me? well, now you have to tell me what i missed, because if i see new couples i'll be pissed.'

i call my tv taste 'mindless entertainment' and i fr think peter would be in pain watching it go down.

'it's so bad... you can tell they're acting... oh god.' but again, he would be seated

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

what happens to nhw after muse? like, publicity wise. especially regarding ashe. idk if you talked about it before or not, i remember seeing things about like. nhw tv appearances and such, but i don't remember if there was anything specifically regarding the pr nightmare of a boy getting mused and going on a murder spree like a localized natural disaster

do they make him go on tv and talk about it? do they rebrand? both? what happens here. i mean it would suck for ashe no matter what probably but yeha

OH NY GOD. I FORGOT I NEVER ANSWERED THIS IM SO SORRY. in my defense i got sick and my brain has been goop since like. sunday. not even going to put this one under a cut everyone gets to see my muse ramblings (muse musings. ha)

ANYWAY. SO. FIRST OFF. nobody knows who he is !!!! to the general public, muse and auxiliary are two different people, and like... there's not really anything there to tie them together. aux's costume was so like bulky full coverage that his identity was Very much hidden, and muse like.... doesn't hide his face at all, but at the same time he's not Ashe because ashe doesn't dress like that or do his hair or makeup like that so. even though his face is on full display I don't think anyone other than his family/friends would make that immediate connection either

obviously like... the prt knows what happened, because of course the wards needed to tell them. publicity-wise, as far as the public is concerned, auxiliary was killed. aux is dead. you remember that one interlude from Vista's pov where she had to look at the greyed out memorial images of the wards who were killed in the leviathan battle? yeah imagine one of those for aux. as far as anyone else knows he died in the fight with overlord (lmao. not like anyone could distinguish identifiable corpses from that mess anyway)

we have played with the idea a few times about a few different topics that there's a subsection of conspiracy theorists on parahumans online that actually connect the dots and get everything right (aux and muse being the same person, Tide and magma being made from the endbringers, etc etc stuff like that that isn't supposed to be public knowledge) but it's extremely funny if they're just a weird fringe group of freaks so nobody ever takes them seriously

the idea that after ashe gets back from being mused and has to go on TV about it makes me so fucking SICK btw that's such a horrid scenario oh my god. I made such a face at that. torture for him!

anyway what actually happens after he gets back from being mused is like.... nothing? really? Trickster takes Mal in exchange for ashe and then they just kind of disappear. and they're left in this horrible paranoid calm period. adn because theyre also gone i think people just assume that either muse went with them or also got killed in that final battle. unsure which option is worse, ashe hearing people talk about muse like hes still out there somewhere (ouch!) or talking about muse like he was killed by his friends (actually now that i type this out i think ashe would prefer this option so much more. man. he has so many issues) it takes ashe a loooong long long time to even consider using his powers again much less entertain the idea of going back to hero work, so it's not really like... an issue? for a bit? we haven't rlly nailed down that period of time yet but I would assume the prt has him under some sort of loose supervision until it's decided that he's not an active threat anymore and he gets to fucking REST for a little bit ! we're intentionally leaving late game nhw a little loose rn because I know I personally just really wanna see how s3 of pd turns out before we nail down anything too solid bc if there's one thing i love about nhw it's referencing back to things happening in canon and making them so much worse ^_^ but I think we've talked about ashe potentially going back to hero stuff eventually under a new name. and nobody can say shit because if a cape has a new name that means they're a different person and nobody can say anything (cough cough looks at armsmaster/defiant) !!!

[howler-moon]

AI advertisement will never stick the landing tbh

Not to drop another essay out of nowhere again but I'm still very much ill and stuck with only my own thoughts to keep me entertained. To be completely honest this topic has actually been on my mind for a couple of weeks and is something I've made imaginary commentary videos about in my head but with the recent AI Coke ad causing a stir and my usual habit of spouting nonsense on Tumblr for shits and giggles I thought no better opportunity than now to put my own two cents on the table since I'll seemingly be stuck in bed for the rest of the week. As both an artist and someone who's doing Business for their Leaving Cert (god forbid) this topic is something that peaks my interest greatly and is something I had more to say about than I thought. If anything, Business has just taught me how soulless companies can be and if I have to learn the Marketing Mix just so I can get the points I need to get into college by god are you gonna hear about it.

A few weeks back I came across a funny Instagram reel with the basic premiss of "guy wakes up after a 10 year coma and only remembers 2010's British adverts" and it was an absolute banger because of how true it was. I don't know if the primary audience who will see this will be familiar with British adverts (I myself am Irish but we basically hog all their tv channels because ours suck lmao) but oh my god you have no idea how iconic they were. I understood every single reference in that reel from the opera singer from the Go Compare ads, to the meerkats from Compare the Market . com to the Jingle from the Lellie Kellie's shoe ad that was drilled into my head like a sleeper agent. 10 year old me may have had no interest in car insurance but by god could I tell you all about Direct Line and their insurance policies because of their funky little red telephone on wheels or perhaps even what Churchill that freaky little puppet bulldog could give you instead. Advertising was so absurd and out of pocket like I have no idea what singing poodles have to do with floor cleanser but you know for a fact I'll start singing along once the Flash ad comes on. There's a reason you often see essentially the same advert run for a company for years and even decades at a time, with just minor edits to keep it fresh. A) Because Marketing is probably one of the most expensive parts of selling a product but B) and my main point of interest being that a single, memorable ad will bring you much further than multiple unimaginative ones.

Moving onto the Coke ad specifically, for the sake of comparison I gave it a watch and holy shit guys was it bad. For those who have had the pleasure of not seeing it yet, this new AI ad is essentially a remake and apparently the replacement of the well known "The Holiday's are Coming" advert that has been running since 1995. Now the impact this ad has on pop culture is undeniable. For many people when this ad starts rolling out onto tvs its considered the start of the Christmas season. The image of the Coca Cola trucks driving through the snow, gathering crowds who watch in awe as all the bright and colourful lights pass by through the night is one of the most iconic things of all time, its the reason the ad has been running for 28 years. The link Coke and Christmas have with each other is genuinely crazy like people credit the company for Santa's red coat, whether it actually be true or not. Coca Cola is an example my business teacher brings up all the time because of how good they (were) with their campaigns. The thing about Coke's marketing is that they're not selling the drink, they're selling the emotion associated with it. They're selling the "happiness" that comes with drinking a Coke they've had campaigns that tell you to "taste the feeling", the whole gimmick behind the Coke bottles with the names on them is the feeling you get when you're gifted with one or find one. There is countless examples of this and that's what makes the new AI ad crash and burn so badly because it's absolutely soulless.

The content of this ad is so stiff and uncanny. The trucks slide around like pngs on seperate layers of a cheap editing program, everything is smooth and lifeless. Sure the people are smiling, but there's not really any joy behind those smiles. They stand there lifeless and unmoving, you could replace the crowd in this advert with cardboard cut outs waving gently in the wind and you would get the same outcome. They react less than the average SSSniperwolf reaction video, instead of her siting there smiling blankly and something interesting enough for her to steal its just a group of people blankly smiling at nothing. Watching paint dry would harbour an more interesting reaction. The movements are slow and unnatural, there's no ease in or out as Santa's food moves across the ground it just moves at a consistent pace like an actual robot. Hmmm I wonder why.. its genuinely actually so funny that Coke prides itself with selling an emotion rather than a product when they take away the very thing that gave their adverts emotion in the first place. They talk about selling nostalgia in a bottle and then tear away one of the most nostalgic things they have ever created. If anything all this new advert does is expose Coke for not holding onto their "core values" and I'm happy people are getting upset as more and more companies try and pass off cheap slop as quality. If the emotion Coke is trying to sell is disappointment then I guess they've won??

The thing about AI ads is that the only thing memorable about them is that they were made by AI. I've seen one AI ad on the TV before and I keep getting another one on Youtube all the time and I genuinely could not tell you what either one was selling for the life of me because all I could think was "oh gross". That youtube one plays in front of almost every video I watch and I STILL don't remember what its for. AI is never going to think of something unique by itself that will hook an audience in. Sure, hypothetically someone could give it a creative prompt, but that requires a creative person, and 9 times out of 10 a creative person isn't going to use an AI to execute their vision, because AI isn't creative enough to do so. Companies have no interest in being unique anymore, what's the use in standing out when you're all owned by the same conglomerate at the end of the day, right? Why spend money when there's a formula everyone uses? why take the risk when there's no competition? Companies genuinely do not care about what you think, only about what you buy and that's just great <333

uhm wow what the fish i like blacked out writing that im so ill rn i apologise if some of this didn't make sense i have the worst fever known to man rn (fire emoji) This is probably something i should come back to and clean up a little bit to make it more clear but i dont give a fuck my dinner is ready have this obscure advert someone sent me on discord a couple of years ago that i hold close to my heart even today to lighten the mood

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Top 10 18 Most Hated NonDD Roles

Aka the ‘Fuck You, _____!’ list lol these aren't in order other than alphabetical by movie/show this time since that's a lotta hate, but oh boy almost changed my mind a couple times. Now, everyone knows I love DD characters, especially now that I've finished my love list, but what about everyone else around him? Sometimes I like them, sometimes I'm indifferent, sometimes they gotta kill him and I understand that cause he's a hot villain, but sometimes they just straight up treat him bad in ways I don't like or are so awful that I genuinely hate them, so let's take a look at some pure negativity today lmao

Just to state first that even though I'm very salty in this it's still all for fun, even if I have Some Opinions on all the people below 😖

James and José - 12 Monkeys

This is a tiny fuck you cause I get it, but the man was very unwell, like very very very unwell, this is mostly just me excusing murder because hot man but he was doing it to save time itself or something, doesn't that count for anything? Get him some help and then stop the bad guys and fix time, they should be your actual priority, guys.

Everyone who was ever mean to Simon - Almost Human

I'm just a broken record at this point, everyone knows how I feel about Simon, I'm scooping him up and punching all of them in the face and then we're gunna get fries and watch TV together.

Everyone in AVGN: The Movie

I've seen YouTuber movies before, there's usually something that makes me laugh even if it's still that special type of cringe. This movie just sucks. It's bad. It's sososososo bad. The only part that made me laugh was DD's quick bit because he sells every role he's in and I love him. I'm so glad I never have to see this one again, this one's a fuck you to them for just… not making an entertaining movie :/

Cass' family and Dwayne - Cass

Yeah yeah I know they're kids and that they're lonely and dealing with it in bad ways, but my God. She has zero self-preservation (he had such good points about her following him like????) and it's frustrating, and when she went to take that selfie I became so anxious over what her giving it to him would bring that it made me actually sick. Her brother is straight awful, I felt bad at first cause clearly he only has the two friends, but he wasn't just allowing things to happen he was right there being a genuine shit to that homeless couple that it made me mad. The dad I can't fault because he's just looking out for his daughter, so he gets a pass, but fuck Dwayne in particular for stealing his paintings, pissing on everything else, and then nearly getting Joshua to basically kill himself. Old man yells at clouds but it's me yelling at these kids, fuck them I'm taking care of Joshua now. 

Literally everyone else in Cora

The Vampire is the only redeeming quality of this short and even then he still falls prey ;w; Cora herself is okay, her dad is good, but her mom sucks and those teens at the camp really suck, the cringe dialogue really gets me yeesh. I feel like their entire scene could've been shortened or at least written in a way that didn't make my entire body shrivel up when the guys spoke. Fuck all of them for making me cringe when I'm trying to enjoy those double fangs, I’m so petty I’m glad all of them got got.

Jerome - Gotham

His energy is great. I'm still not sure if he actually is the Joker or if I'm insane and it was a red herring cause I saw comments? But he nailed the Dark Knight energy of the Joker even if he's not, don't spoil, I will watch someday I swear. Anyway fuck him though for killing Dwight in the most Joker way possible, yeah he took his face but he also brought him back to life so c’mon man just forgive him already and banish him, I've got room for him in my bed it all works out.

Olga and Svea - Last Seen Wearing

I don't really hate them, but I really like David Porter and the fact that he brought flowers and they still ate him after all he went through to find them. I'm gunna find him at the club and take him to a different party, in fact I'll become a model and help him write a better story and they can eat some other people instead, this tired party boy is mine now.

The Grove - Light Night With the Devil

Yes, fuck the entire Grove. If he didn't get tangled up with them then everything would be fine. He might never be #1 on the charts but he'll always be #1 in our hearts, and Minnie would still be there for him too, so yeah fuck the whole Grove, I want my Night Owl to be happy.

Amber - MacGyver 2016

This one is quick and obvious but like fuck her for using him to start, but using his son as well? What a bitch, I'm not gunna be Cassian’s stepmom I'm gunna be his mom who stepped up.

The Woman - Making Love

This is totally me projecting here, but fuck her. Anyone who's okay with cheating and jerking around the both of them is genuinely hated in my book, both as someone who's been jerked around and someone who's watched someone very dear to me be jerked around while she was in so much pain. This is a real hate, there's nothing jokey about it this time, he deserves better no matter how beautiful she is. No one deserves to go through what he's going through, even though he's not blameless for pursuing her. I wasn’t, and neither was my friend. This one gets me personally, so fuck her.

Detective Loki - Prisoners

I think this guy might be The Most Hated NonDD Role ever. The amount of people I know who hate this guy for what he did to Bob is astounding and I was really hoping he'd find the real guy and save the girls until he did what he did. This guy sucks, he hurt my most precious boy, I'm glad he saved the one girl but he needs a swift kick to the nuts as my dad would say, fuck you Loki, I’ll be taking your badge now, no retirement, no pension.

The entirety of Ray Donovan

I've been putting away DVDs of this show at work for years but I've never seen anything from it until I watched DD's ep. It was so bad I quit the rest of the video after his scene. This one was actual torture to sit through up until that point, I had to see old man sex that I did not want, the camera was on Donovan most of the time while DD spoke, this one is another personal fuck you for giving me a bad time, that show and everyone else in it sucks. (No offense to anyone who may be following me who likes it but it wasn't for me)

The Bullies - Teacher

I hate bullies. I can't stand them. The only exception is Cam and that's only because he's hot and I want him to bully me. In highschool I was always too invisible to be bullied, but those few times where I was seen? Where my seat on the bus was being kicked because it was hot and I opened the window? Where someone came after me cause I was protecting my friend from her bitchiness? Where I was given a fake love confession by a friend of my crush, only to hear him whisper to my crush that I wasn't reading it so I knew it was his idea? I fucking hate bullies. Fuck Tim and his friends for everything they did to Preston and Daniela. Fuck his dad for what he said and did to James as well as his own son even though I’m mad at him. Fuck everyone who wasn't on his side while everything actively got worse and made him spiral. But especially, fuck Arabella for looking at him that way. Like I said in my other list, she would cringe directly to his face whenever he said something she didn't like, which is so fucking rude??? Even when she accepted his dates and she was supposed to be on his side she was still cringing at him; if I was on a date with someone and said something dumb and I looked up and saw that I'd cry and never talk to them again. If she wasn't interested she could’ve just turned him down, he's a nice guy, he would've understood even if it made him sadder, it would've been better than her treating him that way and then storming out on him after he was humiliated in front of her. I hate the bullies, but she was the worst because she wasn't even supposed to be a bully, she just treated him cruelly while trying to be kind.

Dany Wilkins - The Belko Experiment

Okay for this one I'm just petty. He was freaking out and she made it worse, I may just be spouting nonsense here cause I'm clouded by the Power of Love, but if that were me I would've tried to actually calm him, cause her running did not help. It'd be scary as hell, but if I worked there he'd already know me so I wouldn't leave his side. I maybe kinda cheered when she finally died after surviving for so long, this one makes me petty.

The Boogeyman

Great monster design, hated every second he was around, but also fuck this guy for making such a sweet dad so miserable before getting him. I am once again swearing I will save him and make him happy.

Everyone else in The Employer

I just genuinely hate those guys. Their characters sucked and watching them was insufferable. James was the only redeeming quality and I mean that, way to write everyone as the most unlikable people on the planet, which I guess was the point, but they can be unlikeable and still be enjoyable, y’know, that is a possible combination that makes for a better movie.

Fuerza - The Flash

I just straight up hate this thing for killing him in one swipe. It was cheap, it was bad writing, it left me so annoyed after all the great buildup with his family and him working those eyes and stealing my heart. What the actual hell, why couldn't that have been saved for the next episode, why couldn't he have least been injured but ultimately okay, this one just frustrates me. I’m going to the future to warn him and we’re gunna start a family together, that’s another Ray Guarantee and this one’s all for me.

Dracula - The Last Voyage of the Demeter

Yes, I'm giving a fuck you to Dracula himself. This guy made everyone excited for some good bonus pay fun times, then ate half of them, made him shoot his crewmate, made him cry which is instantly illegal, made him fall like 40 feet where he bumped his head and broke his leg, made him try and sink the ship he called him, and then killed him. By the time he fell I was ready to get up and jump into the movie right there in the theater. The only way Dracula can redeem himself is if Hollywood lets DD play him, otherwise fuck Dracula,�� friendship ended with him, now Dr Fearless is my best friend.

Honorable mentions

A super special fuck you to James Gunn and Hulu specifically for giving me the greatest loves of my life and then taking them away from me. I'm going to buy their licensing rights from you and bring them back, I miss Abner and Johnson every single day, life is unfair, this sucks, what the hell.