#they still have so much beauty because someone made it

[giannaln4]

Sorry Won't Fix This

lando norris x fem reader

summary: Lando makes the biggest mistake of his life, bigger than any apology, and you both hoped there was a way to fix it. Unfortunately, you both wished it at different times. (5.5k words)

warnings: angst, cheating, mentions of sex, manipulation, mede up characters, use of Y/N

a/n: I FINALLY WROTE MORE ANGST! This is a long one and I held nothing back. I really did try to make it as hurtful and dramatic as possible and ngl I was inspired by 'Don't worry darling' for a tiny part of this (you'll know when you read it) but anyway, this one does NOT have a happy ending so please let me know what you think!

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You had a terrible feeling, but you were too scared to look into it, terrified you would be right. 

Truth is, you started feeling like that just a few weeks ago, when you went back to Lando’s apartment to surprise him with lunch and found an empty room and the bed unmade from somebody sleeping on it. Any other day that would’ve been completely normal, but you had stayed with him the night before and made the bed as soon as you both got up to get ready for your separate plans for the day, leaving a perfectly made bed to come back to. 

Before that day, you would’ve never in a million years thought that Lando would cheat on you. He had always been so loving and caring, even before you started dating, and once you officially became a thing, he would constantly remind you how much he loved you, and on special days he was the most romantic person ever, and you always thought that you would spend the rest of your life with him, but now... you didn’t want to think about it, but you couldn’t bury the thought of him with someone else after it crossed your mind briefly while looking at the messy bed.

Later that night you asked him about it, trying hard not to sound like you were accusing him of something, but his excuse just made you feel worse, your suspicions growing.

“What do you mean?” He asked as he inspected his bed, unsure of what was wrong with it. 

“Well, you know, I made the bed this morning before we left, remember?”

“Oh, uh- yeah, I came back to- to take a nap,” he stuttered, not even looking at you. 

But it kept happening, a few more times.

Things started to change after that; he cancelled the plans you made for when he came back home, he suddenly was too busy every day and your presence might be a distraction for all the things he had to get done for the next race, he was so tired at night he didn’t have the energy for anything, and he even asked you to go back to sleep in your own apartment, claiming he just needed to sleep on his own to be comfortable, even though you were used to sleeping together.

Long story short, he was distant; he was never around anymore, and even when he was, you felt like you were missing him. He was just... different, and you were beating herself up wondering what had changed.

He, on the other hand, didn’t miss you, seeing he didn’t make an effort anymore and he could go days without answering a text or returning a call, ​​and it was not because you took a long time to reply; you would always respond in a heartbeat if it was him. If it weren’t for all the times you visited him at his apartment when a news outlet brought up that he was back in Monaco to make sure he was doing okay, you wouldn’t talk to each other at all.

But today you were feeling hopeful. It was your anniversary, and you had a date night planned — a date he didn’t cancel, so you took the entire afternoon to do your nails, your hair, and pick a beautiful dress to wear, his favourite dress. Your makeup took a while, but you still managed to be ready on time for the wonderful night you had ahead, so you made your way to him, your palms sweating when you knocked on the door.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Was the first thing he asked, wiping her smile off of her face.

“I thought we would go out tonight,” you replied, looking down at your hands to hide your clear disappointment.

“Oh- I guess I forgot to tell you but I remembered I have an important meeting tomorrow morning, so I’m not gonna make it." The door was barely open, and he was standing where the crack was, blocking his apartment as he held the door with a strong grip.

“Okay,” your voice was so faint you barely heard it yourself. “Do you need anything? I could stay here for a couple of hours.”

“No, don’t worry about it. I think it’s better if you leave.”

Tears pricked your eyes, swallowing the small lump forming in your throat. “Why?”

“Well, I’m busy with a few things. You know, I have a really early day tomorrow, and you can’t really help me with a McLaren meeting, can you?”

You shook your head slowly “I guess I’m leaving then.”

The tears you had been holding started to fall as soon as you turned around; you could feel your mascara clumping on your eyelashes and forming black streaks down your cheeks, ruining the contour and highlight you applied in hopes of impressing your boyfriend. You ran back to your car and let it all out once you closed the door. You really thought things would be different tonight, but you were wrong.

You started driving to your best friend’s house, desperate to vent about how terrible your relationship was going since you had been keeping a secret from everyone; the last thing you needed was the media to get in the middle of this. 

“Oh my god, Y/N. Are you okay?” Mia asked you when she saw the mascara tears.

You shook your head as you stepped inside, small whimpers leaving your lips as you tried to stop the crying.

“What happened?” She took your hand and guided you to the couch.

“Lando.” 

“What about Lando?”

“I think he’s cheating on me." You had never said that out loud, and saying it broke your heart even more. “I wish I was crazy, but the signs... I know he is.”

“I’m not trying to defend him or anything, but what makes you think that?”

“Everything, Mia. He has been acting so... distant. Ever since-” You stopped yourself. You never told anyone your relationship with Lando wasn’t doing so well, making up excuses to cover his. You just wanted to hold on to everyone else’s idea of you two, thinking you were the perfect couple.

“What? Have you guys been fighting?”

You took a deep breath before saying, “Remember the last time I stayed over at his apartment?” She nodded in response, “Well, later that day I went back to surprise him with lunch, but he wasn’t there and the bed was a complete mess, and you know I always make the bed when I wake up. He said he went back to take a nap, but he was supposed to be with Carlos all morning, and it didn’t make sense he had time to come back, take a nap, and then leave again, so I asked Carlos, and they didn’t meet at all that day. Is that insane?”

"No, Y/N, of course not.” Mia didn’t know what to say; she wanted to comfort you but she didn’t know how. “And he’s been acting weird since then?”

You nodded, wiping your tears away. “Yeah, he’s been pushing me away since that day. Telling me he doesn’t have time because he’s so busy with the season, which I understand, but not even answering a couple of texts? And cancelling every date we had planned?”

“Is that what happened today? I thought it was your anniversary.”

“It is.” You were nibbling on your lip profusely, looking up so tears would stop falling. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“Have you told him how you feel?” You shook your head again; you hated confrontation, and you were hoping you didn’t have to do that. “I think you should go talk to him.”

“Right now?”

“If not now, then when? You say you’ve been feeling like something’s off for a while, but you haven’t said anything to him.”

“I don’t know Mia-”

“If he is cheating on you then you need to break up with him, you don’t deserve to be in that situation, and you deserve to know the truth.”

You inhaled as you considered what Mia just said. She was right, but to be completely honest, you weren’t ready yet. “I really want to know, but I can't.”

“Why not?”

“Because what if he is?” Tears started rolling down your face again, Mia hugging you tight as soon as it happened. “I love him, and... I just want things to go back to normal.”

“I know you do, but believe me, it’s better if you know.”

You stayed there for a while, but ultimately decided to go talk to him, but you needed to put yourself back together before confronting him. Mia helped you to wash your face and fix your hair, comforting you and offering to stay with you once the two of you were done talking. You accepted; you didn’t want to be alone, and Anne, your flatmate, had been going out of town a lot recently, so your apartment was empty, and you knew it’d be a long night.

Once you felt better and ready to talk to him, Mia drove you to his place as you repeated in your head everything you wanted to tell him. You knocked loudly and didn’t stop until he opened. He looked annoyed, and you stormed inside as soon as he opened the door.

“What are you doing?”

“We need to talk.”

“About what?” 

You blinked at him twice. Did he not think you needed to talk? “About us, Lando. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Okay, now you were mad. “Lando, you have been ignoring me for days, and I understand if you’re busy, but it doesn’t explain you pushing me away at all times.”

“I’m sorry if you feel that way.”

There was a moment of silence, both of you staring at each other as you tried to remember the questions you were supposed to ask, but none of them seemed to make sense now that you were standing in front of him “That’s all you’re gonna say?”

“What do you want me to say?” 

“How about you tell me exactly what’s going on?”

You were both raising your voices, but Lando especially. “I told you already, I’ve been busy with the season-”

“I could’ve stayed here with you or gone with you to races if that meant spending more time together, like we have done before.”

“But why would you want to do that?”

“To keep you company, maybe?” 

“But all you do is stand around while I do my job.”

“Lando, do you know how many weeks I’ve spent away from home just so we can be together? And you don’t even care anymore, you didn’t even care to say thank you.”

“I never asked you to come,” he mumbled.

You scoffed before shaking your head. “I wanted to, you know I worry about you when you stress yourself out about a race, you tend to overwork yourself-”

“I. Never. Asked. You. To. Come." He interrupted you, his tone punctuated with each word. “I would’ve been fine without you, I don’t need you in my hair at all times." His eyes hardened, his mouth opening to speak again. “Don’t you have better things to do?”

“I just- I’m your girlfriend, I guess I thought you liked to be with me.”

“I do, but you don’t have to be so clingy all the time.”

You didn’t say anything, hoping you heard it wrong or that he’d apologise, but he didn't. “What?”

“You know, we do everything together and-”

“No, we used to do things together, not everything." You corrected him.

He took a deep breath, as if he was done dealing with you. “Right. Look, I’m tired, we can talk tomorrow.”

You nodded, holding back the tears as you walked towards the door. “Happy anniversary,” you said before slamming it closed and running back to Mia’s car.

Lando sat on his couch with his head between his hands for a moment. How could he forget? He took a deep breath as he got up, looking for a ribbon and a gift he bought for you who knows how long ago.

He made his way to Mia’s flat; he assumed you would be there, and your car parked outside confirmed his suspicions, so he knocked on the door a couple of times before saying, “Baby, I’m sorry. I was caught up in all the things I have to do before leaving, and I didn’t realise what day it was." But he got no response. “Y/N please, I know you’re here. Will you please talk to me?”

“Go away, Lando.” Mia was the one to yell, making Lando realise he would not be able to fix it, not tonight anyway. 

“Okay, I’m leaving this here. I- I love you.”

You called in sick for your job the next day, your sore eyes and pounding headache being the only things you could think about. Well, that and Lando.

You were staring at the gift he bought for your one-year anniversary — what you were supposed to celebrate the day before. It was beautiful, and you couldn’t believe he remembered you mentioning it on one of your first dates ever, but it was the letter inside that broke your heart. It looked... unfinished, like he didn’t even care enough to give it a proper ending, so you were wondering how long ago he stopped working on it.

The days after that were rough, long nights of wondering what you could have possibly done wrong, but even then you didn’t talk to him. He tried to, a couple of times, but you needed a little bit of time.

A couple of weeks went by, and you found yourself alone at your apartment, catching up on the work you missed for calling in sick so many times.

It was your birthday, and Mia insisted a million times you go out and celebrate, clear your head, and forget about Lando once in for all, but somehow it felt wrong; you had made plans with Lando a few months back to bring your family to a race so they could finally meet him, but obviously that wasn’t happening anymore, so what was the point of celebrating? You just needed to focus and get things done anyway.

You were thankful that Mia had been for you through it all; you really were, but sometimes crying alone did more for you than having someone tell you ‘everything's gonna be okay.' You were tired of hearing that.

Hours later, you found yourself with a cup of coffee to finally catch up on the last project. It wasn’t really that much of a workload, and you didn’t need to stay up all night to do that, but you were going to anyway. Perhaps you just wanted to be productive, or maybe that was you trying to occupy your mind from the possibility of your boyfriend cheating on you.

You looked at the clock; it was 11:30 PM. You sighed, typing away whatever you were supposed to on your laptop, your eyes sore from staring at it for too long, when a text message interrupted you.

Unknown [Attachment: 1 photo]

Unknown: I heard they have been at it for a while.

That text message induced such a great shock on your tired, worn-out body, tears falling down your face as soon as you read it. You didn’t want to open it as you were sure of what this was about, but your curiosity got the best of you.

Tapping on the notification, you prepared yourself mentally to confirm your terrible suspicions. And they were confirmed.

Your vision was blurry from the tears, but you were able to see Lando standing next to his new Ferrari, and he was with someone else, except you couldn’t see who it was, the big jacket and a beanie protecting her identity. He was smiling down at her, eyes full of... love? Those green eyes you thought he reserved for you only, but clearly you were wrong. His big hands were around her waist as hers went around his neck, and his lips were stained with lipstick.

You broke down crying, curled up on your bed as you wore one of Lando’s hoodies that still smelt like him. You now knew what the truth was, but you didn’t want to accept it. What happened to you two? When did he stop loving you?

It was like your heart was ripped from your chest; all that time you spent together down the drain like it was nothing, like it all meant nothing to him.

You didn’t know for how long you cried the night before, but it was now 1 PM and you were just waking up, so you probably cried for hours. There was nothing left you could do to save your relationship, so you made up your mind to break up with him as soon as he came back from the American triple header.

Y/N: We need to talk, just let me know when you’re here.

The message was left unanswered, as usual. You rolled your eyes and put your phone down, returning to your video call with Mia.

“Do you know who that is?”

“No, sorry.” 

You sighed as you sipped your hot coffee “What about the number? Do you know who sent the picture?”

“What’s the number? Maybe I can ask around to see if any of my friends know.”

You sent her the phone number, along with the picture of Lando and the other girl. “Thanks. Don’t show anyone that picture thought. I’m already embarrassed as it is.”

“Embarrassed? Y/N, he should be the embarrassed one, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Maybe I did-”

“No, stop doing that to yourself. We both know it’s not your fault.”

You nodded. “I can’t help it. I just don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

“Was I not enough? Why did he need to find someone else?”

Mia hated to see you going through that, how you felt like you were not enough or that it all ended because of you, and she hated Lando for causing all of that. “I know it’s hard right now, but I promise you’ll understand that none of this is your fault. Y/N you’re amazing, and he’s an idiot for not realising.”

Talking to her made you feel better, but all those terrible emotions came back whenever you looked at the picture again, a million questions invading your mind. How long has he been doing this? Who is she? Does he still love you? What did you do wrong?

A couple of days later, Lando finally replied to your text.

Lando: Just got back. I’m in my apartment

Your heart sank at the notification; you didn’t want to talk to him; you didn’t want things to be over. There was still a part of you that hoped everything was just a misunderstanding, hoping he wasn’t cheating on you and she was just a friend. But deep down you knew the truth, and the possibility of it being a mix-up was down to zero, and after he made it clear that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore, you decided to fulfil his wishes.

It was a long drive to his home; it felt longer than usual, but maybe you were just dreading the conversation you knew was about to happen.

You took a deep breath before knocking on the door, Lando opening it almost right away.

"Hey,” he said faintly, worried he got caught.

“Hi.” You entered the apartment you once thought you would move into and looked around. You had been there a million times, and so many of those times were special little moments you shared together, but right now it felt like you were disconnected from the space. “How was the triple header?”

“Not great- I don’t know. It was messy, I guess." He tried to give you a smile but stopped himself when he noticed your stare full of fury. “What did you want to talk about?”

Seriously? “I’m breaking up with you." Your voice was weak, but you did not dare let a tear slip past your waterline; he didn’t deserve to see you cry. 

“What?” The shock in his eyes looked so real that you almost believed him “Why?”

“Did you really just ask that?”

“So that’s it? We’re over?”

“Lando, come on, we’ve been over for a while." You stepped closer to him, pain and anger written all over your face as the tears struggled to stay on your eyes. “We didn’t even feel like a couple anymore. Lando, you forgot our anniversary, and that day you made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me. And to think I planned a beautiful night for us and bought you a great gift. Do you have any idea how stupid I felt?” 

“I didn’t know you were feeling like that.”

“Of course not, when have you ever listened to me anyway?”

Lando rolled his eyes “Okay, I understand, but we don’t have to break up, I already explained what happened that day, I was busy and completely lost track of time.”

“And I guess she doesn’t have anything to do with this?” You showed him the picture, his demeanour changing immediately.

“Y/N, I- I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry." His eyes and his voice softened as he tried to reach for you, but you turned around and wiped the tears that managed to leave your eyes, a million questions flooding your mind again.

“So it’s true." You were just confirming to yourself what you already knew. Anger and pain washed over your body. Why her? Why her when you’ve been nothing but perfect to the man you loved the most?

“Baby, I can explain.” 

You turned around to face him again “Who is she?” He shook his head, his eyes begging you not to make him say it while yours watered, “Who is she?” You repeated.

“You don’t wanna know.”

“Why? Cause I might find out you’re cheating?”

A few tears started to roll down his face, his hands desperate to hold yours. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Cause you’re gonna hate me even more." You stared at him, even more tears falling as you tried to think who the girl could be. 

“Did you two- did you sleep with her?” His nod was barely perceptible; if you didn’t already know the answer, you would’ve missed it. Maybe he was right; maybe it’d be better if you didn’t know. 

“I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.”

“Stop it.”

“I know I fucked up, but she doesn’t mean anything to me, I swear.”

“Shut up, Lando. I just… I don’t understand.”

“Let me explain-”

“And I don’t care how many times you apologise, how do you expect me to forgive you?” You took a couple of steps back, trying to figure out what caused him to do such a thing. “Even if we stayed together and got married and started a family, how can I ever look at you and not think about that?”

"Baby, I want all of that, I want the rest of my life with you, like we talked.”

“That was before you ruined everything.”

“I know what i did is wrong-”

“Wrong?”

“But we can work this out.”

“What? No, Lando, stop.”

“Just give me another chance, please.”

“Is that why you've been so distant, huh? Was she here on our anniversary?” Lando didn’t say anything, and the flashes from Lnado’s knuckles turning white from holding the door closed that night creeped your mind. Your heart ached so much that every time you breathed deeply, it was scorching you to the core “How could you do that?”

“I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologising.”

“You know I didn’t mean it.”

“Just stop… god.”

“Y/N just hear me out, I swear it only happened once.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I know that’s not true. Do you know how many times I came to an unmade bed? And how many excuses you made?” He stayed silent. “I don’t care how many times it happened, you still did it and nothing is gonna change that.”

“I know.”

“You’ve been hurt before, right? What if I was the one cheating? Would you just forget it ever happened and come back to me?” Once again, he didn’t say anything. “No. Of course you wouldn’t. Lando, how could I ever forget what you did? Or everything you said to me when we were fighting, and the fact that you lied and- and cheated-”

“But you came all the way here.”

“Because I care, and you... you never cared, you never tried-”

“I care, I care so much. Baby, please, you have to believe me." He tried to reach out to you, but you pushed his hand away.

"No, you don’t, and if I’m here, it’s because I know after this we’ll never see each other again, we’ll never talk again and this just has to end.”

“But I don’t want it to end.”

“Well, you ended it when you cheated on me.”

He stared at you for a moment before continuing. “But… I want you, she didn’t mean anything to  me." He approached you again, his hope growing a little when you didn’t stop him. He put a strand of hair behind your ear, softly brushing your cheek. “I know I fucked up but I can’t go on without you, I just can't.”

“Well you have, countless times while I was left in the dark wondering if I had done something wrong, crying myself to sleep when I couldn’t get a hold of you, Lando, and in the meantime you were with her.”

“I’m sorry-”

“And you have the nerve to say all that shit to me, acting like I was suffocating you when in reality I was trying to save us!” You pushed him away.

“I’m so sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry, please let’s talk about it.”

“Fine, let’s talk about it. Was she worth it?” He shook his head, ready to leave his pride behind as he kneeled in front of you and grabbed one of your hands. “What are you doing? Stop.”

“I promise it was an accident, it won’t happen again.”

“An accident? Lando, are you hearing yourself right now?”

“Please, don’t let me go." The grip on your hand tightened, pulling you closer to him.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” 

“No. I don’t want anyone else, I want you, Y/N”

“You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“But everything I said... I meant it, I love you Y/N and every second we’ve been together has meant everything to me. Baby, you have to understand.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying, you know I’m not." You pushed his hand away, rolling your eyes when another tear rolled down his face. “I know I don’t deserve it but please... just one more chance and I can fix this.”

“Give you a chance? I gave you a chance when I believed your excuses, when I forgave you for cancelling every date we had planned, when I tried to understand why you locked me out, and when I almost forgave you for forgetting our anniversary, I gave you so many fucking chances!”

“But I swear it wasn’t like that, she meant nothing.”

“You’re unbelievable… god, what are you saying?”

“Just think about how great we are together,” he said, trying to hold your torso, but once again you stopped him. 

“Lando, stop that.”

“We’re a great team, aren’t we? We understand each other so well, we know each other better than anyone else, god, I’ll do anything, I swear.”

“No, it’s not gonna work.”

“Yes it will, and I’ll make sure of that.”

“No.” You were having a hard time blocking out how much love you still had for him, but you weren’t forgiving him; there was no way.

“I swear I don’t want anyone else." He held your hands and started kissing them, his lips giving you a sense of home that you missed. "Y/N, please, I love you.” 

You nodded weakly as you started crying again.

“You know I love you and I would do anything for you." He continued kissing you, a few tears falling on your hands. “Do you still love me?”

“I love you... Lan-” You released one of your hands from his grip, squeezing your eyes shut and covering your face.

“See? It will work, we will make it work." You shook your head; you were feeling stupid for almost falling for that. "Baby, look at me, it’s going to be okay, I promise.”

A moment of silence fell into the room as you collected your thoughts again, and he just looked at you hopeful that he could get you back. “Who is she?” You dared to repeat the question as you looked at him again.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, his voice barely above a whisper when he finally answered. "Annie.”

Annie, your flatmate Annie. She had never met Lando before you, and she wasn’t interested in who he was when you first told her you started dating him, so you were the reason they knew each other for all those times he picked you up from your place, and even then you never considered them to be friends; they barely exchanged any words when they ran into each other. You felt betrayed on a whole new level, not only by Lando but by her too. You had lived with her for so long, literally since the day you moved to Monaco, so you thought of her as one of your closest friends; how could she do that? And these past weeks, when she had been mourning your relationship with Lando, she was there the whole time, and she knew exactly what was happening.

“How long?”

You were getting annoyed at how long it was taking him to answer your simple questions. “The day we went to meet my parents... I drove to your apartment to pick you up, but you weren’t there yet.”

“So you did it at my place?” It wasn’t really a question, and you felt even more disgusted at the thought of them in your own home.

“It was one moment of weakness.”

“One moment of weakness?” He nodded, his hands now holding on to your hips. “But it didn't stop there, did it?”

“I’m sorry.”

You swiped the tears away as you prepared to ask the question you had been asking yourself for weeks. “What does she give you that I can't?”

Lando shook his head quickly. “Nothing, you’re everything I could ever ask for.”

“Then why did you do that?”

He didn’t have an answer; he didn’t really know how it happened or why it kept going, but he couldn’t deny he was enjoying it before he got caught. “I don’t know." He whispered.

“Do you love her?”

“No, of course not. I love you." He was holding you tighter, convinced that if he held you long enough, you would want to stay.

“Oh my god, I’m so stupid.”

“You know it didn’t mean anything, it was a mistake-”

“Get your hands off me, I’m leaving,” you said as you tried to free yourself.

“Baby, please don’t leave, you have to hear me out.”

“Lando, let go. I don’t wanna be here." Your words struggled to come out from how much you were crying. 

“Please don’t, I don’t wanna let you go." He looked up at you, his eyes begging for forgiveness. “Let’s just talk about it, yeah? Let me explain.”

“Save it, Lando, it’s over.” 

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again. This is obviously my fault, so I’ll do whatever it takes to get you to stay, just please, one more chance is all I’m asking for.” You finally freed yourself, and your only goal was to go back to your apartment and cry all your pain away. You turned around and headed to the door; his hand tried to come to stop you, but you flinched away. You couldn’t bear to hear another word from him. "Baby, please, I love you.”

You turned around to face him one last time, spotting Lando still on his knees in the middle of his living room. “So you’ve said, but how can you hurt someone you claim to love so much?” He was about to say something, but you didn’t wanna hear it. “There’s nothing you can do to get me to stay, you threw everything away.”

“I know, my love, but-”

“I’m gonna leave and you’re gonna stay here, just… leave me alone, I don’t ever wanna see you again.”

You exited the room, leaving Lando alone and a complete mess. He regretted what he did, and he wanted to think that if you would just give him a chance to explain himself, you’d forgive him. But he knew that would never be the case and that his mistake was bigger than any apology; you were right to leave him.

He stared at the door for too long, taking in every emotion he was feeling: remorse, anger, pain, agony... he just felt like life was being sucked out of his body because he ruined the most important part of it, and there’s no one to blame but himself.

[barcaatthemoon]

movie moment || alexia putellas x reader ||

You and Alexia try to have a special day out.

Everything was nearly perfect. Both you and Alexia managed to carve out some time in your schedules for a little day out together. You had been feeling a little neglected, but Alexia was quick to suggest treating you to a date. She had expected you to just want to go shopping before dinner, but you had surprised her by asking for a picnic date.

Alexia had taken painstaking measures to keep as much of the day a surprise to you as she could. You were woken up a bit earlier than usual for breakfast, which Alexia brought to you in bed after her run. The early wake up call was quickly made up for with lots of little kisses as Alexia helped you get ready for the day.

The morning was clear and sunny, not a cloud in sight as the two of you walked from shop to shop. It wasn't until you and Alexia were driving to the park that you saw the first cloud of the day. It wasn't a dark or gloomy one, so you had no reason to think that it'd start raining at any point during the day. Especially not the moment you and Alexia found yourselves relaxing on the picnic blanet.

"You look so pretty in that dress," Alexia mumbled as she pulled you in for a kiss. You were a little extra giggly due to the two glasses of wine that Alexia had brought along. The two of you had cycled through hundreds of bottles of wine before you finally found one that you liked. And now, Alexia made sure that it was always stocked up in the house.

"It's almost like you picked it out for today," you teased. Alexia pretended not to know what you were talking about as she stole a bite of food from your plate. You didn't know why Alexia had even bothered bringing two plates since she always seemed to prefer whatever you had. Despite being absolutely horrible about sharing most of the time, Alexia seemed to love it whenever it came to you.

"You could have worn a trash bag out, and I'd still be looking at you like this." Alexia had a point, and you knew it. Alexia had let you walk out of the house in some very questionable outfits before because in her eyes, you always looked absolutely beautiful. Luckily, you had gotten into the habit of sending your outfit of the day choices to some of your more honest teammates before you left the house for any reason. "You're just that beautiful."

"Someone is sappy today. Are you trying to butter me up for something?" you asked. Alexia seemed to clam up a bit at that, but you didn't get a chance to question her about it. Both you and Alexia jumped up at the feeling of rain pouring down onto your bodies. Alexia shoved as much as she could into the picnic basket while you balled up the blanket. The two of you raced to Alexia's car, laughing as you stumbled a little bit.

"Where the fuck did that come from?" Alexia grumbled. You were still laughing, but Alexia seemed a bit upset about the date being "ruined" by the rain. You placed the blanket in the trunk of her car, glancing at her over the top of her car as she waited by your door. You were lingering a bit, which very obviously confused Alexia quite a bit. You hated getting your hair and makeup ruined, so she assumed that you would have been rushing around to get inside. "I'm sorry that it started raining."

"Nothing was ruined, I had a great day today. You really went all out for today, and I appreciate it," you told her. Alexia forced herself to look up and away from you in a feeble attempt to hide the blush on her cheeks. You tilted her chin down and leaned forward to close the distance between your faces.

Kissing Alexia was, and would always be, one of your favorite things in the world. She was so gentle with you, but she didn't let any of that mask her passion for you. All of the things that Alexia had a hard time articulating to you came out in her kisses. You could feel her start to take your breath away, a welcomed suffocation of emotion with each kiss that you got to share like this. This wasn't a quick peck, far from anything that the two of you had shared in public before.

"Come on, let's get back," Alexia mumbled as she broke the kiss. You sat down in Alexia's car, knowing that she'd be going crazy later cleaning the seats. Alexia didn't seem bothered as she drove the two of you home. "Go get changed, and I'll bring your things inside."

"Meet me on the couch?" you asked her. Alexia nodded, leaning over to give you a quick kiss before she sent you inside. You changed out of your dress into a pair of spandex shorts and one of Alexia's old Barcelona sweatshirts. You could hear Alexia changing as you wiped your makeup off and put your hair up.

Alexia beat you to the couch, remote control already in her hand. You curled up with a blanket beside her, unsurprised when Alexia pulled you fully onto her lap instead. She laid back on the couch with you on top of her, silently waiting for you to give her the go-ahead to turn on an old game. You knew that it was part of Alexia's daily routine to watch an old game of hers or an upcoming opponent's, and you had no intention of stopping her today.

"What game were you thinking today?" you asked her. Alexia didn't answer you, instead putting on the first game where your national team had played against Spain with you on it. It was the first meeting of you and Alexia in any capacity, and you never could have imagined that you would end up here years later. "Are you okay?"

"I am absolutely perfect. I don't think that I've ever been happier than I am with you. When it clears up, I'll get you a proper picnic date, I promise. Until then, this feels like perfect weather to stay inside and cuddle up together," Alexia said. You could tell that she wanted to say more, but you didn't press. And when you caught Alexia fiddling with a ring that definitely wasn't meant for herself later, you'd keep your mouth shut until the time was right.

[p0orbaby]

Leah being moody coz she jealous blurb plz. Reader winding her up as well

-

Leah’s in one of her moods. You can tell by the way she’s loading the dishwasher, slamming each plate into the rack like it’s personally responsible for global warming. She doesn’t even rinse them first, which you know she hates doing, so this is clearly serious.

You’re perched on the counter, legs crossed, sipping a tea you made just to have something to do. You’re also in her hoodie—well, technically your hoodie that she’s stolen and now claims as her own—which is already oversized and makes you look like a walking marshmallow. She’s glaring at it like it’s the root of all her problems.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong,” you ask, breaking the silence, “or are you just going to bully inanimate objects all evening?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” she says flatly, slamming the dishwasher shut with enough force to rattle the cutlery drawer.

You tilt your head. “No? Then why are you acting like Gordon Ramsay after a bad risotto?”

“I’m not acting like anything,” she mutters, reaching for a sponge and scrubbing the sink with more force than necessary.

You raise an eyebrow, deciding to prod her further. “This wouldn’t happen to be about the girl at Tesco, would it?”

Leah freezes, mid-scrub. Her grip tightens on the sponge, and you swear you hear it squeak in protest. “What girl?”

“Oh, you know,” you say, as casually as possible, hopping off the counter to stand beside her. “The one at the till. The one who practically fell over herself trying to give me my change”

Leah’s jaw tightens. “She didn’t fall over herself.”

“Leah, she told me I had ‘beautiful eyes.’ While handing me a receipt. Who compliments someone mid-transaction?”

“She was being polite,” Leah says through gritted teeth, though the pink tinge in her ears betrays her.

You bite back a grin, folding your arms. “Polite, was she? Is that why she winked when I said thank you?”

“She didn’t wink,” Leah snaps, but her tone is defensive now.

“She did,” you insist, stepping closer. “And it was a proper wink too. Like, with a little head tilt and everything. Very flirty”

Leah drops the sponge into the sink and turns to face you, arms crossed. “Why are you bringing this back up?”

“Because you’re funny when you’re jealous,” you reply, grinning up at her.

“I’m not jealous,” she says immediately, but the words come out too fast, too rehearsed.

“Sure, you’re not,” you tease, poking her in the chest. “You’ve only been sulking since we got home”

“I’m not sulking!” she protests, but the way she looks away, her mouth twitching like she’s trying not to pout, gives her away.

“You’re ridiculous,” you say, reaching up to cup her face. Her cheeks are warm under your hands, and she still won’t meet your eyes. “You do know I didn’t flirt back, right? I barely even said two words to her”

Leah sighs, finally looking at you, her blue eyes softer now. “It’s not that I don’t trust you,” she says quietly. “It’s just—did she really have to do it right in front of me?”

You laugh, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. “Babe, you literally have nothing to worry about. She wasn’t even my type”

Leah raises an eyebrow. “No?”

“No,” you confirm, leaning in to kiss her properly this time. “You’re much fitter. And less likely to abort change me”

Her lips twitch into a reluctant smile. “You’re still annoying”

“And you’re still jealous,” you reply, grinning as she pulls you closer.

Later, when you’re curled up together on the sofa, Leah suddenly mutters, “I hope she gets stuck on self-checkout next time”

You snort, burying your face in her shoulder. “Leah!”

“What? I’m just saying”

[buck-star]

Bucky’s babydoll | B.B

>> Your best friend gives you a present that makes clear who you belong to, to your best friend, Bucky. <<

Pairing: BestFriend!Bucky Barnes x BestFriend!Fem!Reader

Wordcount: 2.934 Words

Warnings: Minors DNI, 18+, best friends to lovers, fluff, collar, smut [daddykink, oral (m!rec), deepthroating, spitting, ball worship, praises], aftercare, love confession

Authors Note: Dividers made by me.

Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

His ocean blue eyes roam over your smaller frame, a smile tugging at his lips as he tilts his head back to look into your face. Bucky is currently sitting on his bed while you present one outfit after another to him — you were shopping, and now your best friend has to tell you if he likes the outfits or not. He nods, leaning back and resting on his forearms, smirking at you.

“You know, you always look pretty. In a dress, in a hoodie, with bun or without,” Bucky says, his beautiful eyes light up when you twirl in front of him to show him the back of the dress you're wearing. You giggle and turn back to face your boyfriend; you take a step closer, towering above him, and grin down at Bucky.

“I have one more outfit for you to rate for me, oke?” You ask, making your best puppy eyes because you know that Bucky will do everything for you then — even though he would do it anyway, for you he would collect stars just to make you happy.

He nods, pushing himself up while he watches you leave the room to change into another outfit. The spark in his eyes he always has when he looks at you doesn't fade away when he gets lost in his thoughts; it only grows because the only thought that makes sense in his mind is about you. Bucky is in love with you forever already; when you moved in with him, it didn't take long for him to stop dating someone else and try to be as close as possible to you. You've been his best friend since the two of you were small kids, but his feelings only grew with the years.

The brown-haired man told his mom when he was around five that he was going to marry you one day, that he would be the one who makes you happy and the one who loves you the most — little did she know that he really meant it and that the feelings the kid had only turned into love over the years.

Bucky hates when you go out with your friends to parties, but he knows that it makes you happy, and luckily, you often ask him to join you. You don't date anyone either, which gives him hope that you could maybe be in love with him just as much as he is in love with you.

Little does Bucky know that you feel the same for him, that you’re craving his touch, his love, and that you would prefer sleeping in his bed every night with his strong arms wrapped around you instead of sleeping on your own. The blanket wrapped around was not even close to Bucky's warmth and his scent that you love so much. You even watch movies you hate and scare you because that's the easiest way to explain to Bucky why you need to sleep next to him and why he has to hold you close — to protect you from the dragons and other monsters from the movies.

“Bucky, you ready?” You ask, walking through the door. The moment his eyes catch you, his jaw drops open, and he struggles to sit still. The blood rushes into his cock within seconds, and a low groan leaves his plump lips. “Do you like it?”

Your grin tells your best friend everything he has to know; he knows you're teasing him. But did you know that you would get such a reaction from him? “Fuck, babydoll. Never seen someone as sweet and sexy as you before. But you— you can’t just wear that,” he growls, reaching his arms out for you.

You walk a step closer, letting Bucky place his big hands at your waist and pulling you into his lap, your legs dangling on both sides of his while he pulls you closer to his chest. Bucky's cock is pressing hard against his sweatpants; when he pulls you closer, your crotch rubs over his bulge, and he groans, causing a needy whine to slip past your lips.

“Such a tease, walking around with my hoodie and just panties underneath. You know what you're doing to me, don't you? Making me so hard, babydoll,” he growls, leaning forward until his nose brushes along your neck, his lips moving over sensitive skin, and you start thrusting your hips against his hard cock.

“D-Daddy, please,” you whine. Bucky's eyes widen before he smiles even wider. You never called anyone that before, but around Bucky you feel safe and cared for, plus his size makes you feel so small always, but he never uses his size to scare or force you — only to curl you into him and hold you close while his big body is wrapped around you, making sure nothing can scare or hurt you.

“Mhm, say that again, babydoll,” he grumbles. “You know, I bought something for you... I wasn’t sure if you would like it, but now I’m pretty sure. When I give it to you, you’re mine.”

You whine, nodding your head. Right now, you would agree with everything he says as long as he helps you with the aching feeling between your thighs. “W-what is it?”

He chuckles, his big hands moving up and down your sides. “Close your eyes,” he says, waiting until you do it. Then he reaches over to his bedside table to pull something out of the drawer.

With a soft hum, you feel his hands around your neck, something cool as well, as a soft click almost makes you open your eyes, but you try to keep them closed to make your best friend proud of you.

“Okay, you can open your eyes now, doll,” he says, his lips so close to your ear that you shiver. You slowly blink. Bucky smirks at you, his eyes staring into yours. “You look pretty, all of you. Now everyone knows you’re mine, babydoll.”

He takes his phone, smirking at you. You do the same, smiling at your best friend as he takes a photo and turns his phone to show you. Your eyes widen as you notice the collar around your neck; it’s pretty, your favorite color, and something is written on it. ‘Bucky’s babydoll,’ it says, and you grin at him, leaning forward to place your forehead against Bucky’s.

“It’s perfect; thank you, daddy,” you say. Your eyes light up with excitement when you stroke the fabric with your small fingers, sighing softly. You grin at your best friend, pulling him onto the bed, and slide down in front of the bed, looking up at Bucky with widened eyes, looking all innocent while you crawl in between your best friend's legs.

“Whatcha doin’ there, babygirl?” He asks, looking down with a wide smirk across his plump lips. You bring your hands to his thick thighs, slowly inching closer to his clothed cock with a smile. His ocean blue eyes roaming over your face, down to your collarbone, and along your arms to your hands, which are dangerously close to his crotch. “Babydoll?”

You don’t respond to him, just moving your hands as slowly as possible until your fingertips slip over the growing bulge in his pants. Bucky grasps your wrists with his big hands, pressing them down on his thigh while he looks at you with narrowed eyes.

“What are you doing? Tell me, what do you want to do?” Bucky knows exactly what you’re doing and what your intentions are, but he wants to hear it from you. He wants your permission, your assurance that you really know what you do instead of doing it because he gave you the collar and uses this moment to 'thank him'.

“P-please… w-want your cock, Bucky,” you whimper, tilting your head to the side and looking up at Bucky. Your head rests against his thigh as he smiles down at you, one hand removing from yours and slowly moving up your arm again to your cheek.

“Yeah? You want daddy’s cock?” He asks, and you immediately nod. Then he nods, letting go of your other hand too, and unbuckles his belt. “Then you have to lean back, babydoll, or else I can’t give you what you’re asking for.”

You do as you’re told, leaning back to let your best friend get up and take off his pants and boxer briefs. His leaking cock springs free, and you lick your lips, staring at the huge length and the prominent vein running along his shaft.

“Like what you see?” Bucky smirks at you, sitting back down, earning a nod from you as an answer to his question. Bucky grasps a pillow from his bed. He taps your thighs to get slightly up, giving him the opportunity to push the pillow between the floor and your knees. “Don’t want my best girl to get sore knees while she sucks daddy’s cock, huh?”

You shake your head, eyes still focused on Bucky’s cock. He chuckles, sitting up straight, and runs his hands through your hair, tilting your head back.

“Be daddy’s good girl; get what you need so bad.” His soft voice makes you almost melt, but you manage to get out a soft 'yes, daddy’. Your fingers trailing along his thick thighs once again until you reach his cock.

You wrap your fingers around his shaft, slowly moving your hand up and down. With your thumb, you collect some pre-cum and use it as a lubricant to make your movements easier. Bucky groans, watching you intensely with his blue orbs.

“Good girl! Doing so well for Daddy, yeah, such a good fucking girl,” he praises, his fingers curling around your strands, pulling at your hair softly. You moan, lowering your head above his cock, and kiss the tip of his dick.

Bucky throws his head back as your soft lips touch his sensitive tip. Your tongue is grazing over the slit, and you moan against him, sending vibrations through him. His fingers tightening in your hair, tugging softly on them.

“That’s it, good girl!” Bucky mumbles, watching you as you take him into your mouth. Your warm, wet mouth is taking his sensitive length slowly deeper, causing your best friend to turn into a groaning and panting mess. “You look pretty like that, with my cock in your mouth. Taking me so well, babydoll.”

You take more and more of his cock into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat when you’re a bit more than halfway into your mouth. A soft gag comes from you, and Bucky pulls you immediately away, tilting your head back to look into your face.

Tears well up in your eyes, your chin coated in your saliva, and his pre-cum and Bucky can’t help but groan at the way you look. Your eyes widen, and your lips form into a soft pout as you try to pull forward to get his cock back into your mouth, but Bucky's grip is firm to hold you in place.

“Daddy, please,” you whine. He shakes his head, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip, and you unconsciously part your lips. Bucky smirks, collecting some saliva in his mouth before he spits it into yours, grinning as you immediately swallow down and part them again for him to spit into your mouth once again. He spits into your mouth again, chuckling as you sigh happily. “Thank you, daddy.”

“Always, now don’t push too far; I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, oke?” Bucky slides his thumb once again over your lips, waiting for you to answer, but he only gets a pout from you. He can’t help but to lean forward, capturing your lips with his, moving his lips softly against yours to get the pout off your lips.

As the two of you pull away, you’re panting softly, then nodding. “C-can I try to take your cool deep down my throat? P-please?” Your puppy eyes make it hard for him to say no, so he nods but holds you still firmly in place.

“But you tap my thigh if it’s too much. If you want to stop and you don’t try to do more as you feel comfortable to make me proud, oke? I’m proud of you; you don’t have to take my cock completely for that, babydoll,” he tells you the conditions.

“Yes, daddy!” With that, he loosens his grip and lets you lean forward to his cock once again. You take him almost halfway down your throat; just before you would gag around him, you stop and take a moment to breathe. You look up at your best friend with a pleading look, asking him to help you.

Bucky inhales deeply; your mouth feels perfect around him, and he wonders how your pussy would feel around him and how much you would squeeze him there. He smiles softly at you, his fingers gripping your hair tightly once more. “Remember, tap my thigh if it’s too much. And breathe through your nose; it helps. You can also take my balls in one of your hands, softly, but to steady yourself a bit.”

You nod as much as possible with his dick in your mouth, smirking a bit before tapping his thigh to show him that you understand. He then inhales deeply once again and pushes you down his throat, groaning loudly as he feels the tightness around his huge shaft.

You gag once again, trying to breathe your nose while you dig your fingers into his thighs to steady yourself. You would love to feel his balls; they look so big and heavy, but you don’t want to squeeze him too much.

Bucky holds your head in place, giving you a moment to get used to his size in your throat before pushing you further down and then letting go, so you can move your head on your own. His pants and groans are music to your ears, chasing shivers to run down your spine, and the aching between your thighs gets worse, but his dick is just too good to not suck him off.

You move your head slowly, twirling your tongue around the tip as you let his cock slide almost completely out of your mouth before you take him down your throat and move your tongue around the underside of his shaft. You bring your hand to his balls, kneading and rolling them in your palm. Bucky throws his head back, his plump lips parting and breathy moans leaving his lips.

“You’re feeling so good; your throat feels so fucking good, babydoll. Doing’ so well for me, so fucking well,” he mumbles, thrusting his hips up and your nose pressing against his pelvis. You smirk around his length, inhaling deeply and swallowing thickly shortly after, causing Bucky’s eyes to widen and his hips to buck once again. “So tight, feels so fucking good.”

You swallow once again, feeling his cock twitch in your throat, and without warning he is coming down your throat, letting you swallow all of his cum. Bucky pants, sweat running down his forehead as he pushes you away, tilting your head up.

“‘m so sorry. You were feeling so fucking good, couldn’t help myself, had to come down your throat, sorry,” he says, his fingers trialing along your cheek and jaw to your lips. You grin at him, licking your lips; you don’t mind that he came into your mouth, not at all. His cum is salty and musky on your lips, and you can get enough of it.

He leans forward, kissing you. You immediately kiss him back, fingers digging into his thighs. He tastes himself on your tongue, growling. “Now, get up on the bed, and let Daddy make you feel good. You were so good for me, babydoll. Making me feel so good.”

“B-Bucky, I-I can’t,” you mumble, leaning your head against his thigh once more and sliding your fingers up and down his soft skin. His cock twitches the closer your fingers move toward it, and you smile softly. Bucky narrows his eyes, looking with confusion written all over his face. “I- you’re my best friend, and I do love you; I’m in love with you, but if you see or touch me down there, it’s- if you don’t love me back, you know?”

“But I love you, babydoll, more than everything,” Bucky says, looking straight into your eyes. “Do you think I gave you the collar because I just want to be your best friend? No, because I love you, I want you to be mine, if you want to be mine.”

You nod, smiling. “I-I want to be yours, but only if you’re mine then too!”

“Of course, I am yours as much as you’re mine, doll,” he says, chuckling before leaning down and kissing you. “Now, get on the bed, and let me make you feel good; then I will mark you, all of you. And after we can do whatever you want, cuddles, cooking, showering, whatever you want else, another round, more than one round, you just have to ask. ‘Cause you’re Daddy’s good girl, and you only have to ask, and I will collect stars for you. Because I love you!”

“I love you too, Buck!" You giggle as you get on the bed, making it comfortable, and Bucky gets out of his shirt before placing himself between your legs to finally get his snack before he is going to make you his and mark you in his bites, kisses, and cum.

Taglist: @pono-pura-vida @sergeantbarnessdoll @rogersbarber @kimmie113080 @sebastianstanisahotmf

[rothpie]

❝FIDELITY❞ |part8

MASTERLIST -`✮´- Rafe Cameron x Kook!Reader x JJ Maybank

Summary: Kook!Reader’s world is upended by betrayal, and her only way forward might lie with the most unlikely person—JJ Maybank. But as they build a new life together, old flames and past mistakes refuse to stay buried.

Warnings: slut shaming(?)

previous - next

Could you really call yourself an adult now?

I mean, honestly, is there some magical age that makes you a certified grown-up?

If it’s all about age, then nope—you weren’t an adult. Maybe a “young adult” at best, but even then, the life you were living? Let’s just say it was… a bit different.

When everything started happening so quickly, keeping up felt impossible. And let’s face it, that was normal. If you managed to juggle everything with calm composure, you’d probably qualify as Wonder Woman. Life came with its ups and downs, but throw pregnancy symptoms into the mix, and things got extra tricky.

You liked to share what you wanted with others. Talking about your plans openly was just how you were. It wasn’t about bragging; you just enjoyed sharing your happiness. But every single time—without fail—whatever you talked about? It never happened.

That Venice trip you’d been set on for the summer? Canceled.

The dream university? Rejected. That car you were this close to buying? Nope, didn’t happen.

It was like clockwork. Every time.

And the thing was, you never learned. Not really. You’d repeat the same mistake again and again. Life’s law, right? Someday you’d figure it out… though that day clearly wasn’t anytime soon.

Pregnancy, though, wasn’t exactly something you could go shouting about to everyone. That was off the table. But moving?

If you weren’t pregnant, there’s no way you’d have kept quiet. You’d have made sure the entire island knew. And naturally, that would’ve meant it wouldn’t happen.

This time, though, you zipped it. The only person who knew was JJ—and, well, he didn’t really count. Or, okay, maybe he did. Of course, he was important, but not the kind of person to stand in your way. On the contrary, he had your back. He even offered to help you with the whole moving process.

Things happened so fast, you could hardly believe it.

Your dad came home from his work trip, you visited the mainland, met with a realtor friend of his, checked out potential homes—it was like someone had hit the fast-forward button.

You couldn’t decide on anything. You were even okay with a cute little apartment. The list of occupants was simple: you and your daughter. You didn’t need much more.

Your mom, however, had her opinions. She didn’t want a mansion either, but she was firm about the house having enough rooms. One for you, one for your daughter, and a guest room—because naturally, grandma duties. And a yard, because she wanted to watch her grandchild play outside.

So apartments were out. Houses it was. After seeing what felt like a million empty ones, you were ready to scream.

But finally, you found it. The perfect house. The yard alone sold it. You could already picture the memories you’d make there with your daughter. Maybe a swing or a hammock… some comfy furniture on the porch.

You never imagined you’d get so close to your dream so quickly.

It had the three rooms your mom insisted on, was two stories, and honestly, it was beautiful. You loved it. But the idea of living there alone was terrifying.

Still, the deal was sealed.

It didn’t take long—two weeks, tops. When your mom insisted on hiring an interior designer, you didn’t argue much. Secretly, you liked the idea. And once your belongings were packed, it was all done.

All that was left was you.

There weren’t many people to say goodbye to on the island, which was, honestly, fine. Who were you supposed to bid farewell to? Rafe? His family, who didn’t even know you were pregnant? Your friends, who’d probably broadcast the news to the world? No thanks.

Except for JJ.

You’d have been a total ass not to acknowledge his help. Even if his support wasn’t entirely physical, his presence had been a huge emotional lift.

So saying goodbye wasn’t hard.

Ignoring the support he’d given you would’ve been dumb. When you decided to give him a nice surfboard as a thank-you gift, you didn’t overthink it. You just thought about who JJ was—someone who loved the ocean and surfing. Beyond that? You didn’t know much. So you kept it simple. Spoiler alert: he liked it.

You hesitated, thinking a gift might make things unnecessarily sentimental, but he deserved it. Nobody else in his position would’ve treated you as kindly. Even Kooks barely treated each other well. Expecting a Pogue to go out of their way for you? Yeah, no.

But JJ had.

You weren’t super close, but during one of your conversations, he’d mentioned how much he liked the rare nights when his shift ended early. He worked at a pub. In your head, you’d given him two weeks before he got fired—or kicked out after starting a fight. You were that sure of it.

A week ago, knowing the end of his evening shift, you parked near the pub, sitting on your car hood to wait for him. The plan? Give him the surfboard. Maybe even give him a ride home if he needed one.

Fifteen minutes passed. He hadn’t come out.

You started questioning everything—maybe you’d gotten the wrong day? Or maybe you’d messed up the time?

Waiting around for nothing felt miserable. You should’ve paid better attention when he’d been talking about his schedule.

Not that the gift had been planned or anything. The idea had hit you on a whim. You just wanted to do something before you left. After all, there weren’t many people to say goodbye to. And texting JJ a quick see ya felt way too impersonal.

“What are you doing here?”

You snapped out of your thoughts, your eyes shooting up from your phone. JJ stood a few steps away, mid-turn before he stopped and faced you fully. His eyes scanned the car before landing on you.

Quickly, you shoved your phone into your pocket. “Making sure you didn’t pick another fight.” Sliding off the hood, you smirked.

JJ rolled his eyes, flashing you a sarcastic smile. “Ha-ha. How funny.”

Unlike him, your grin was genuine. Why should he have all the fun pissing people off? It was your turn.

Unlike him, your lips curled into a genuine smile. Was it always going to be him getting under your skin for his own amusement? No, this time, it was your turn.

You heard him say your name, his tone serious. “No, really. What are you doing here?”

Keeping surprises wasn’t exactly your specialty, but you couldn’t resist messing with him a little. After all, this was the first time in days you’d left the house—and only in your baggiest clothes. Might as well enjoy it.

“Just hanging out.”

He frowned, his eyes scanning the area before gesturing around. “Here? Outside the pub?”

The confusion on his face was nearly comical—borderline annoyed, maybe?

You mirrored his glance at the surroundings, raising your eyebrows. It wasn’t much to look at. Just… a place. “What’s wrong with here?”

JJ let out a frustrated sigh, and for a moment, you couldn’t believe you’d actually managed to annoy him. He genuinely looked upset. “Are you serious right now? You—” He stopped himself, clenching his jaw as he stepped closer. Lowering his voice, he added, “You can’t drink. You’re not even supposed to be hanging around.”

So, he thought you’d come here to drink? That’s why he was so worked up?

It was kind of… cute. But poking the bear was way more fun.

You let out a dramatic hum as you crossed your arms. “Not allowed? Says who?” You tried not to laugh at the look he shot you, a mix of exasperation and disbelief, like you’d lost your mind.

“Me. You’re not drinking. Not here, not anywhere. Have you lost it?”

Your lips pulled into a grin, and despite his attempt to scold you, his irritation only made it funnier. Especially since you hadn’t even done what he was accusing you of.

The second JJ caught onto what you were doing, his annoyed expression melted away. As your laughter echoed, he pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly unimpressed. “Yeah, yeah. Hilarious. Now, can you just tell me what you’re actually doing here?”

You clutched your stomach, your laughter dying down into a lingering smile. Sure, he wasn’t amused, but you were, and that’s all that mattered.

“I’ve got something for you.”

JJ’s eyebrows shot up. He straightened, intrigued. “Yeah?”

You stepped away from the car’s front, glancing back to see him still rooted in place. You gave him a quick head nod to follow. With a sigh, he finally moved. “If this is a gun for self-defense, just so you know, I’m not really clear on the rules here,” he joked with a wink.

You snorted, shaking your head. “Please. If I gave you a gun, you’d be arrested in, like, two seconds.”

He laughed, but you could tell he was curious now. Opening the back door, you reached inside. “It’s a thank-you gift. Kind of.”The surprise on his face was priceless. He clearly wasn’t expecting this. Honestly, neither were you until the idea struck.

JJ tilted his head, his expression skeptical. “Thank you? For what? For telling you not to pick fights?”

You rolled your eyes. He couldn’t be serious. “No, JJ. For helping me out.”

He smiled, but it was that classic, goofy grin of his. Any trace of his earlier irritation had completely vanished. He didn’t even glance into the car. “Oh, I get it. Like a ‘without JJ, my life would’ve fallen apart’ kind of thank you? Go on, feed my ego. I live for this.”

For a split second, you considered slamming the door and driving off. Instead, you laughed. Sure, there was some truth to what he said, but no way were you letting him win.

Taking a deep breath, you opened the door wider and stepped back. “Nope. It’s just a small gesture. Don’t read too much into it.”

JJ walked over and held the door open, his eyes going wide when he spotted the surfboard wedged into the backseat. His fingers ran over the smooth edges and the blue-and-white design. “You got this for me?” he asked, his voice softer now as he inspected it.

You couldn’t suppress your grin. “Yeah. I mean, I know it’s kind of random, but I figured you could use your own board for a change. For everything you’ve done—” You hesitated, trying to find the right words. “It meant a lot.”

JJ’s smile was different this time. It wasn’t cocky or teasing. It was genuine. “If I don’t take this, I feel like you’d be really annoying about it,” he muttered, pulling the board from the car.

“Absolutely. You wouldn’t want to hear me talk about how I poured my heart into its design,” you teased.

He froze, eyes narrowing. “Wait—you designed it?”

You smirked, holding his gaze. “No. But it’s nice that you believed it for a second.”

JJ laughed, shaking his head as he leaned the board against the car. For once, he wasn’t mocking or making jokes. Instead, he looked at you with something softer, something you couldn’t quite place. “This is… perfect. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I know. I just wanted to.”

He hesitated, glancing at the board before meeting your eyes again. “I was just trying to help. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

And that was it, wasn’t it? That’s how it felt. Deep down, you’d even envied the way he was with his friends. He didn’t know you. In fact, he hated your group. But if he treated you like this—who knew how he treated his friends?

You weren’t used to people doing things for you without expecting something in return. Sure, you had a hunch JJ liked money. Not just you—everyone on the island knew that. But still, the way he talked to you, made time for you… it mattered. It broke the prejudice you had against him.

It wasn’t anything grand. He didn’t buy you houses or cars. He didn’t shower you with jewelry. But he talked to you like no one else did. He made you feel—like you were someone. Like someone whose decisions shouldn’t be dictated by anyone else’s words.

And that? That was worth more than jewelry. More than anything money could buy. It was something most people—Rafe included—didn’t have.

From the moment he heard, he didn’t tell anyone. What friend would do that? Ruthie? Sophie? Who?

JJ did.

And he wasn’t even your friend.

That’s why it mattered. He was just being himself, and you needed that.

“It felt like that.” JJ was holding the surfboard, his eyes catching yours. A strange silence fell between you. Neither of you had expected such a gesture—not just surfing, but the support he’d given you.

You hadn’t expected his support; that was his gesture to you. And he hadn’t expected a surfboard from you; that was your gesture to him.

JJ lifted the board to examine it, the usual smirk still on his face. He was clearly trying to ease the tension hanging between you. “So, I have my own board now, huh? I don’t have to give this one back, do I? Because when it comes to stuff like that, you’re pretty stubborn.”

“No, it’s yours,” you said, smiling. You were grateful for his teasing—it cut through the awkwardness. You could’ve stayed silent for hours. “But if I catch you getting into another fight, I’ll beat you with that board.”

JJ laughed, shaking his head. His gaze flicked between the board and you. He was ridiculously excited about the surfboard but trying hard not to show it. “Fair deal. But just so we’re clear, every cool move I pull off with this board? I’m crediting you. ‘Thanks to Princess for this wave,’ that kind of thing. You’re my sponsor now.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t deny his antics made you laugh. He was fun to be around. You were glad the whole “status” nonsense between you two seemed to be fading. It wasn’t just you—he had his own assumptions about you too. But it felt like you’d both moved past that. “Okay. Sponsorship’s over. Go find your wave.”

JJ carefully propped the board against the wall, his expression softening. “Jokes aside, thanks. I mean it. This means a lot. Just don’t tell anyone I said that—gotta protect my image.” He smiled, dimples showing as he ran a hand through his hair.

You smiled back, nodding quickly. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe.”

As you both grinned, JJ’s eyes flicked from you to the surfboard. Following his gaze, your eyes drifted to his hands, gently tracing the board like it was fragile.

“I’m leaving the island tomorrow.” The words tumbled out, and you saw his hands freeze. His gaze landed on you, but you kept your focus on the board, pretending to admire its design. It really was a beautiful surfboard. “So—I wanted to say thank you.”

His blue eyes pierced through you as if that was even possible. JJ didn’t say anything to make the moment heavier, just nodded. For several seconds, neither of you spoke. Realizing the air had gotten heavier, you shifted your tone to something more casual. “I could drive you home if you want.”

You weren’t the kind of person to offer, but making him carry a surfboard all the way home felt cruel.

JJ opened his mouth to respond, but a car horn blared from down the street. Both of you turned toward the sound. Outside the car, John B and Kiara were leaning against it, with Pope, Cleo, and Sarah visible through the windows. Pope waved at JJ from where he hung halfway out of the window.

When Sarah’s eyes met yours, you instinctively tugged at your shirt. There wasn’t anything visible, but still—you felt uneasy. “Wow,” you said, feigning amusement. “Your entourage is here.”

JJ hesitated, looking momentarily torn. Finally, he sighed, a guilty smile creeping onto his face. His gaze dropped to your hand still fidgeting with your shirt. For a split second, it seemed like he wanted to grab your hand, to stop you.

“Nothing’s showing,” he said, his eyes lingering on your waist. You knew that, but the idea of anyone finding out still terrified you. Especially someone from Rafe’s family. He didn’t want them to know, and neither did you. That’s why you felt the need to be extra cautious around Sarah and Wheezie.

“I know. It’s just—” You stopped, shutting your eyes briefly before opening them again. It was paranoia, but understandable. “Relax. No one knows, I swear.” His hand almost reached out to your arm, but he stopped, remembering his friends were watching from the car.

“Go,” you said, shrugging. You composed yourself. “Looks like you’ve got a ride after all.” You smiled.

JJ paused for a beat, then flashed a crooked smile. He hated the awkwardness lingering between you. “If this board isn’t as good as you said, you’re getting an earful. I’ll call you.” He walked backward, teasing. You couldn’t help but chuckle at his words.

As you walked toward your front door, you noticed his movements slow. He stopped, turned, and looked back at you. It was like he’d remembered something he’d forgotten to do. Placing the surfboard down gently, his eyes briefly darted away from yours.

Then he walked up to you and stopped right in front of you. After a brief, silent pause, you felt his arms wrap around you. Was he… hugging you? Seriously? The gesture caught both of you off guard. You’d never imagined this kind of closeness. But then again, you hadn’t imagined buying him a surfboard either. So, it didn’t feel wrong. If buying him a gift made you feel this close, then it wasn’t strange that he’d feel close enough to hug you.

You returned the gesture, wrapping your arms around him. His grip was firm, and the scent of salt and ocean filled your senses. How did he always smell so much like the sea?

The hug was short, but both of you felt the strangeness of it. Once again—you felt like you’d crossed a line. Broken some unspoken rule.

JJ shrugged as he pulled back. “Yeah, that’s it. See you, uh… whatever.”

You took a deep breath, watching him stand there. You hated goodbyes. You were going to miss this island, and now—

“Yeah… goodbye.” You pushed your hair behind your shoulders, trying to steady your voice. You didn’t understand why you felt like you were losing a friend. Like you were going to… miss him?

Stop. Don’t even think about it.

JJ nodded, picking up the surfboard as he walked toward the car. You watched him for a moment before turning to the front door and stepping into your car. Through the windshield, you caught a glimpse of Kiara muttering something to Sarah. Whatever she was saying, you couldn’t hear.

When JJ got into the car, he paused, lowering his head for a brief moment before looking outside again.

He mouthed something to the group. Not to you, but to the friends in the car. “Just shut up.”

When he gave you a quick nod, you returned it before starting your car. Watching them drive off, you felt a strange mix of relief and melancholy. You’d thanked JJ, and that was all you wanted. It was done.

Except for the quiet ache of losing a friend.

You’d left only a few clothes back at the house on the island. The furniture and everything else stayed in your room. Your parents insisted the room remain untouched—they wanted you to know there was still a home for you there. They even promised not to change a thing.

The first few months were bound to be hard; you knew that. Living alone was going to take some getting used to. But you hoped it’d all be worth it when you finally held your baby.

Now, you were sitting on the couch in your new place, sipping a green smoothie. You’d have given anything for a coffee, but pregnancy meant sacrifices. A little caffeine might not hurt, but you didn’t want to risk it. The smoothie was healthy, though it tasted awful.

It had only been six days since the move. You’d allowed yourself time to explore the area, taking walks around the quiet streets. Your parents had offered to stay with you for a few days, but you politely declined. You wanted to settle in on your own. Leaning on their warmth and presence only to have it ripped away later would have made the loneliness worse. You couldn’t let that happen.

Morning sickness had eased enough for a few walks, so you’d wandered the calm streets near your house. Quiet, orderly, nothing like Outer Banks. You couldn’t help but compare the two. Everything here was different. The people, the lifestyle—it all felt so structured and tame. But a part of you missed the chaos of the island. The freedom. The absurdity of going to the store in a bikini without anyone batting an eye. That tight-knit community where everyone knew each other’s names.

You’d visited the local park a few times. It was rarely crowded, and you hadn’t met anyone yet. By the time you arrived, most of the adults and kids were just beginning to trickle in.

So, here you were: your own place. Did that make you an adult?

How did adults even make friends? Scratch that—how did anyone past a certain age make friends? As a kid, it was easy. Just ask someone to play with you, and that was it. Middle school? Same thing.

But now? You didn’t know a soul here. What were you supposed to do? Walk up to someone and introduce yourself?

Terrifying thought.

Still, maybe worth trying, right?

-

Socializing wasn’t supposed to feel like this.

Your eyes scanned the park’s scenery. The leaves rustled gently in the breeze, and birds chirped in the branches above. A group of kids played in a sandbox, their laughter mingling with the faint sounds of distant traffic.

You clasped your hands over your stomach, exhaling deeply. “Maybe this is good for me,” you thought.

But the whole idea still felt horrifying. Sitting at home would’ve been worse, though. At least you were out, breathing fresh air.

Introducing yourself to someone, though? Out of the question. No anxiety attacks, but your chest tightened just thinking about it. No, you’d just sit and enjoy the park for a bit. That would be enough.

Your gaze dropped to the book in your lap: Healthy Nutrition and Development During Pregnancy. You fiddled with the corner of its cover. Would someone else find this funny? Carrying a guidebook instead of a novel wasn’t something even you would’ve expected a few months ago. But here you were, on the verge of a whole new chapter. Screw what anyone thought—you were preparing for your future.

Suddenly, the bench shifted slightly as someone sat down beside you. The movement snapped you out of your thoughts. You glanced up to find a middle-aged woman with an energetic demeanor. Her dyed-blond hair revealed a hint of gray at the roots, and a steaming coffee cup rested in her hands.

“Ugh, I hope I can finish this before it goes cold,” she muttered to herself before calling out to the playground. “Tati! No running, sweetheart!”

She waved toward the child before turning back to you with a wide smile.

“Lovely day, isn’t it?” she chirped.

You gave her a polite smile, nodding. “It is,” you replied, subtly shifting your book closer to your lap. Her eyes flicked to the book in your hands, narrowing slightly as if trying to make out the title. “Is that a… guidebook?” she finally asked.

You tilted your head slightly. “Yes,” you said simply, hoping that’d be enough to end the conversation.

“A pregnancy guide?” she pressed, her curiosity accompanied by a cheerful smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “How sweet! Helping out a sister or expecting a niece?—Oh, where are my manners? I’m Viola.”

Her question caught you off guard. You hesitated briefly before giving your name. “Uh, no. It’s for me,” you said with a small smile.

Her expression shifted instantly. Her eyes widened, her grin turning stiff and awkward. “For you? Oh…”

You nodded, feeling heat creep up your cheeks. She had seemed friendly at first, but the subtle judgment on her face now was impossible to ignore.

“How far along?” she asked, as if the question was perfectly natural.

“Sixteen weeks,” you mumbled, pretending to smooth the book’s pages. The weight of her gaze made your skin crawl.

“Ah, so young,” she murmured, taking a long sip from her coffee. When she lowered the cup, her eyes lingered on you, as though dissecting every detail. “How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Twenty,” you replied, keeping your tone neutral but feeling the words land heavier than you intended. You watched her eyebrows knit together as she took a sharp breath.

“Twenty? You look barely old enough to drive!” she exclaimed, clearly not trying to be subtle. Then, almost conspiratorially, “But… you must be married, right?”

Your hands instinctively moved to rest on your stomach, but you hesitated to respond. The silence must have been answer enough because her eyes flicked from your belly back to your face.

“Oh,” she said knowingly, her smile tightening further. “So… is the father still in the picture?”

What was this, an interrogation?

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat. Was it the tone of her voice? Or the audacity of her questions? Whatever it was, it stung. “That’s not something I need to discuss with you,” you said firmly, fighting to keep the frustration out of your voice.

Viola shrugged, but her scrutinizing look didn’t waver. “Fair enough. But raising a baby at your age, and without… well, you know. It’s going to be tough. Don’t you think this was a bit… impulsive?”

Her words hit like a cold wind. You tightened your grip on your stomach and tilted your head slightly. “That’s none of your business,” you said, your voice harder now.

Viola didn’t back down. “Yes, maybe you’re right. But people talk, sweetheart. And usually, they judge the ones they think made the wrong decisions…” She paused, pursing her lips. “Well, they judge.”

That was all you needed to hear. You tucked your book under your arm like you were putting it in a bag, got up, and said, “I think it’s time for me to leave,” your tone colder than even you expected.

Viola raised a hand as if trying to smooth things over. “Oh, I didn’t mean to offend,” she said, but the look in her eyes betrayed the opposite. “I’m just saying this for your own good.”

You could shove your “thoughts” up your ass.

Turning on your heel, you walked toward the park’s exit. The sound of her coffee cup being placed on the bench and her murmuring words echoed behind you. A fresh start sounded nice, you thought. But a new beginning wasn’t a guarantee of escaping old judgments.

There was no way you were going out to socialize again anytime soon. You hated that woman. With every fiber of your being. The way she judged you with that smug little brain of hers—it made your blood boil. You had no memory of how you even made it back home.

You made yourself some hot cocoa, hoping it would calm your nerves. Honestly, lying flat in the grass wouldn’t have been enough to shake off the anger at this point.

Even though you tried to distract yourself—knowing full well that stress wasn’t good for the baby—it wasn’t working. The incident replayed in your mind on a loop. You were certain you’d shiver every time you walked past that park again.

Who did she think she was, anyway? How could someone pass judgment on a stranger like that? The sheer audacity—it was baffling.

The sound of your phone notification pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts. Glancing over, you reached for the phone resting on the couch.

You waited for a reply, but when nothing came, you set the phone down again. At least one of you was having a good day. Even though you felt like you were on the verge of exploding, you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.

The sudden ring of your phone startled you. You looked over, eyes narrowing slightly in surprise. JJ Maybank was calling you. Right now.

Pressing the phone to your ear, you grabbed the half-full cocoa mug from the table with your other hand. You weren’t going to drink it anymore. You were too annoyed to even think about washing it, but you figured you could at least move it somewhere out of sight. JJ’s voice came through the speaker, and despite everything, a small smile crept onto your face. For all his antics, he was a decent guy.

Heading toward the kitchen, you heard the cheerfulness in his voice as he began, “Used it this morning.” He was talking about the surfboard, excitement practically dripping from his words.

Frowning slightly, you placed the mug on the counter. This morning? Shouldn’t he have been at work? “This morning? Weren’t you supposed to be at work?”

There was a brief pause before JJ let out a muffled laugh. “Got fired,” he said casually, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Honestly, with him, it kind of was. You couldn’t help but laugh a little.

You weren’t surprised—of course, you weren’t. With the phone still pressed to your ear, you wandered over to the window and glanced outside. “Figured,” you said, your voice laced with playful sarcasm.

JJ didn’t miss a beat, his tone now teasingly accusatory. “Wait a second. Did you bet on me?”

Smiling, you shook your head even though he couldn’t see it, your attention momentarily caught by a cat wandering down the street. JJ cleared his throat, bringing you back. “No, but I wish I had,” you said.

His response came in the form of a dramatic groan. “That’s the meanest thing I’ve heard all week. You’re better than this.”

You turned around and walked toward the kitchen, your tone a little sharper now. “Get used to it.”

JJ responded immediately, his voice carrying a hint of challenge. “Never,” he shot back. Then, after a brief pause, his tone softened, but he added a teasing edge. “Pregnancy hormones have turned you into a completely different person. And it’s only been six days.”

The way he always knew how to push your buttons—and somehow make you smile instead of snap—was maddening. You found yourself tapping the corner of the table with your fingers, a habit you didn’t even notice until it happened. “I take pride in that,” you said, a playful grin tugging at your lips.

JJ came back stronger, more confident this time. “Hey, do you think it’s the hormones, or is it because you haven’t seen my handsome face for six whole days?” There was that familiar cocky tone, but you could tell he was trying to make you laugh. “I’d bet everything it’s because you haven’t seen my handsome face.”

“Even your surfboard?” you teased, your voice lifting just enough to show you were fully invested in the banter now. You moved toward the living room and dropped onto the couch, your gaze briefly flitting to the TV. But your attention was fully locked on JJ.

“Not a chance,” he replied instantly, almost defensive. “The board’s off-limits. Too precious.”

You chuckled, grabbing the nearby blanket and pulling it over your lap. “Then you’ve lost everything except the surfboard,” you said, shaking your head in mock disapproval. JJ’s laugh echoed through the phone, rich and warm, before he quipped, “You’ve been extra rude lately,” his voice carrying a mix of mock hurt and teasing amusement.

You didn’t just roll your eyes—you sank deeper into the couch, grabbing a pillow to prop yourself up. Of course, he’d called just to mess with you. Was he bored? Had he decided you were the best target for entertainment? “I’ve always been like this,” you replied with a shrug he couldn’t see.

“Nope,” JJ shot back instantly, his tone softer but still certain. A brief silence followed, filled only by the sound of your own breathing, before he spoke again. This time, his voice was a little more sincere. “So… how’s it going? Living alone and all?”

You didn’t hate that he asked. Actually, it felt nice to talk to someone. As an adult—or whatever weird in-between phase you were in—socializing wasn’t exactly easy. It hadn’t been easy on the island either, but at least that had been your choice. This wasn’t.

You took a deep breath, realizing the question was harder to answer than you’d expected. “It sucks,” you admitted finally, the honesty not surprising you in the slightest.

“Why?” JJ’s voice was softer now, laced with just enough concern to feel genuine but not suffocating. It was like he always knew how to navigate these moments without overstepping. And honestly, it was strange—good strange.

You tried to sort through the chaos in your head. “I don’t know,” you said with a faint sigh. “I haven’t really connected with anyone. I don’t know anyone here.”

JJ, ever the problem-solver in his own weird way, jumped in with his trademark ease. “Then make friends with the stray cats,” he said, that classic carefree tone of his bringing a smile to your face despite everything.

“I already have you,” you teased back, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “I couldn’t possibly betray you.”

His laugh from the other end of the line was contagious. “Not funny.” 

Fidgeting with the edge of the blanket, you hesitated before mumbling, “Are you okay? How are you?” Somehow, over the phone, it felt easier to ask—less intimidating than it would’ve been face-to-face.

“I’m amazing,” JJ said, his voice taking on a flat, almost robotic tone that screamed deflection.

“Your ego is exhausting,” you retorted, matching his sarcasm. Why couldn’t he just answer the question for once? Did everything have to be a game? “Seriously. How are you? After… you know, that day.”

JJ exhaled deeply, and when he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, almost reluctant. “I don’t live with my dad anymore.”

You sat up straighter, grabbing the remote to lower the TV’s volume. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah,” he said simply, like it wasn’t a big deal. “Packed up my stuff and left.”

It wasn’t exactly shocking. In fact, you were relieved he’d done it. Knowing he’d been living with someone who hurt him was unbearable. But still, you couldn’t stop your brow from furrowing. You couldn’t shake the worry. “Are you staying with John B?”

JJ’s silence was unexpected. You listened to the sound of his breathing, the faintest hitch before he finally answered. “Kind of?”

“What does that mean?” Your voice sharpened with concern. Why was he dancing around the answer when he could just tell you?

JJ sighed again, his tone shifting as though he’d stepped further away from the phone. “They don’t know I left yet. And I don’t want to talk about it.”

He hadn’t told his closest friends? Why? They weren’t the type to judge him. You didn’t know them well, but you were sure of that much. It didn’t make sense.

Even as your worry grew, you knew pressing him wasn’t the right move. “So where are you staying?” you asked cautiously.

JJ’s tone hardened. “I said I don’t want to talk about it.” There it was—his three-year-old tantrum mode. Did he really think people didn’t have the right to worry about him? Idiot.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, already feeling your patience wearing thin. “As your friend, I’m allowed to be concerned about your safety, JJ. Just tell me where you’re staying.”

His tone shifted again, this time lighter, more teasing. “Friend, huh? That’s nice. Kook and Pogue forever.”

“Shut it,” you snapped, your irritation clear. All you wanted was to know he was safe. “Just tell me already.”

JJ paused, then let out a soft laugh—the kind you knew was covering up something deeper. Even a toddler could tell. “I stayed with them for a few days. Been figuring it out since.”

You frowned. That wasn’t a solution. “You need to tell them,” you said gently.

He responded with the same stubbornness you’d come to expect, but his tone hinted at a smirk. “This is my problem, princess.” Then, as if to shift the mood, he added, “This is the first time we’ve talked on the phone. Cute, right? Now, tell me about your day.”

Despite the worry gnawing at you, you relaxed just a little. He wouldn’t be joking around like this if things were terrible… right?

You hoped so cause—JJ is your friend.

[andiloveher]

"are you dead yet?" a calvin gabriel analysis

a/n: this movie is my current hyperfixition right now and this is just my personal take on the character, ben is a genius :) some of these quotes are out of order

thinking about the intro/beginning scene. that evil ass kid. cal gives such theater kid vibes omg.

i don't have much to say about the opening scenes, i think ben gives an amazing way of setting up the character dynamic between andre and cal. at first, it almost feels like he created an empty character out of cal, so it could be easy for someone to step into his shoes and relate to him (until later). cal is usually the one behind the camera, this isn't to say that he is less important than andre but i feel like this is where people start to create that 'soft and innocent' idea of cal. i can imagine him standing behind the camera with a stupid little grin on his face.

thinking about the firework scene; lets get the first thing straight, cal was not manipulated, gaslit or the 'soft and innocent' one here, and neither is andre. both are to blame for this. notice how excited cal is, or at least fakes it. even while watching the fireworks, he seems unamused compared to andre (who calls this out). i think cal has always been a very closed off person, he can be very ignorant and annoying as depicted at the poem scene and several scenes with andre.

thinking about cal's first solo video entry ; "everything is planned so methodically." i LOVE the way he used that word and why he used it. methodically means structured or in an orderly fashion. i think it's a perfect use of the word, the fact that at first they never had a date, they had a plan and knew exactly how they would execute it. "it's gonna be unreal. it's gonna be beautiful." cal looks off as he speaks, almost like he's spacing out while imagining it. cal knew exactly what was to come, and almost fantasized about it. the thought it was beautiful. he starts examining the camera etc, as if he wasn't just talking about a mass shooting, he treats this very lightly. as if, it's just another sadistic thought. "we are gonna leave you all behind, just sticks in the mud that andre and i have made. we are gonna walk away. you see, we see more than you do." cal is fully aware of what's to come, almost as if he's planned this for years ahead. it reminds me of the tate quote "I'm prepared for the noble war."

nearing the end of his 'monologe' he starts spacing out his words, taking longer to deliver what he's about to say as if he's trying to justify it or make someone understand why they are gonna do what they are about to do.

thinking about the party scene; cal silently makes his way out of the party to sit on the steps with andre. when he gets down to the step he basically slouches over, covering his face as if he's exhausted. "i'm just not good at parties."

he keeps his arms crossed over him but his legs out. his legs out are a sense of comfort with andre but i feel like him keeping his arms crossed is because he still feels very closed off or uncomfortable. he stays very quiet while andre talks with his cousin. apparently they have been friends since about sixth grade and cal has been with his family before, yet he still feels anxious and closed off to them.

thinking about the braces scene; ben did this in a lovely way and he's an actually genius. "his parents spent all that money for years on his teeth, just for him to blow them through his skull." - ben in the Zero Day Commantary

thinking about the grave scene; another one of my personal favorite scenes. cal is very defensive on andre during this scene as rachel basically describes him as a bad influence on cal. i feel as if cal is getting defensive because andre was able to understand him in a way no one else would, someone who understood his sadistic ideas and even help him go through with it. someone who saw the need for a 'beautiful' cleansing.

i also think he got defensive when rachel started to describe andre as like the ring leader of all of this, cal wanted his credit and i think this tied alot into the shooting scene later on.

"im insecure and i need attention." god someone get this boy a myspace page.

thinking about the camping scene; where cal jokes around with his family alot, i wonder how his younger siblings felt afterwards

thinking about the poem scene; i don't think the poem has much meaning - also basing it off what Ben said. just some edgy thing a teenager would say.

cal doesn't seem to take anything seriously. being obnoxious to the other people who were there, ignoring andre's points on trying to stay secretive. cal couldnt give less than a fuck.

im jumping far

thinking about the shooting scene;omfgomfgomfg. in the car it's like we see cal truly happy when he is about to ruin people's lives, his smile seems so genuine like he's ecstatic.

when him and andre get in the building, he seems so focused on his first shot, quick to make sure there are no more people.

don't even get me started on the library scene omg

the way cal walks ontop of the tables, showing a sign of authority over everyone else. a moment where he can finally feel larger than others, where he no longer has to worry about staying in his little bubble.

"are you dead yet?" is my favorite quote from the scene. it's filled with so much anger and almost irony. he's taunting them, he laughed at the idea of someone trying to talk him out of it. i think this was the most freeing moment for cal.

i also think he was ready to die, his last conversation to andre says so much. telling him "you're done." isn't of "i'm done" or "we're done." he was prepared to paint the ceiling with his brains - while andre was so hesitant. UGH I COULD TALK ABOUT THID MOVIE FOREVER

[mooshkat]

i haven't watched the episode. don't really care to. but apparently eddie is looking at houses in el paso?? and i've always related way too much to buck and the way people in his life leave so much so.

listening to 'please don't go' by abbey glover while writing this is devastating btw. highly recommend to add to the hurt.

tw for suicide attempt.

Buck drops Eddie off at the airport and then just...doesn't go home. He doesn't think as he drives, taking turns and just alert enough to be safe on the road, but honestly? He has no fucking idea how he ends up in the mountains, parking in the small dirt lot at the end of the hiking trail.

Everything feels numb. Static fills his brain and spreads down his neck, all the way to the tips of his fingers.

He turns off the Jeep and takes out the keys. Drops them carelessly into the cup holder.

He should've seen this coming, right? People leave; they always have, and always will. Everyone from his own sister to his ex-girlfriends, and his ex-boyfriend. Now his best friend.

There's just something buried deep into his very being, something built into the coding for Evan Buckley, that makes people leave him. No matter how much he clings and wants to fight for it, they'll walk away from him and his love.

It's him, it has to be.

Buck leaves behind his wallet, his keys, his work bag. Everything is left in the Jeep except for his phone, because no matter how much people leave him with barely a goodbye, it goes against everything that makes Buck, well, Buck to do it himself.

He knows this trail. Tommy and he have been on it before, once or twice after Buck dragged him along with him. They'd stopped at the top, where a small cliff overlooks the beautiful scenery with LA off in the far distance.

He remembers the way Tommy pushed him against a tree and sank to his knees, looking up at Buck with an adorable, bright grin with scrunches up his nose. Buck misses that grin fiercely.

The sun is just beginning to rise as Buck starts his walk. He doesn't go up the mountain with a specific plan in mind, didn't wake up to take Eddie to the airport at four in the morning, and think I'm going to kill myself today, but the higher he gets on the trail, the more he knows.

It's early enough that he has the trail to himself. That's good. It's not, he needs to turn around and go back to the Jeep, go home but his feet keep moving him up, up, up. There's nobody around who will have to see what he's about to do and be traumatized by it.

He's seen more than his share of deaths through work, he knows how badly it can fuck you up. He doesn't want to do that to someone else.

When he gets to the top, Buck stops and just breathes. The air is fresher up here, cleaner. It makes some of the buzzing in his head quiet down. He can feel his fingers again, feel the way his heart pounds from the cardio workout of climbing, and make his hands throb.

He walks to the edge of the cliff and sits down, his feet dangling over the edge. There's a boulder a few feet away from the edge that holds memories of him leaning back against it as Tommy kisses him, holding Buck's hips with hands hot enough to brand him.

His very soul feels branded by Tommy. His chest aches every day, making his stomach sink with a homesick feeling he hasn't had since before he moved to LA. His apartment is still full of the baked goods that he creates every time he has to try to not call or text him.

He doesn't stop himself from calling him today.

Buck almost thinks it's going to go to voicemail before it's picked up at the last second.

"...Go for Kinard?" Tommy answers, clearing his throat. His voice is sleep-rough and deep, and Buck hasn't heard it in so long that it's like applying balm to very shattered, torn edges of a wound. "Hello? Who is–Ev—Buck?"

"Did I ever tell you," Buck starts, and he sounds just as rough, but he's more awake than he ever has been, despite the bone deep tiredness that fills him, "about the fact that I was made to be a savior baby for a brother I never met? My parents made me in a science tube so that they could use my bone marrow to heal my brother, Daniel, but it didn't work. I thought for a little while after I found out that it was because I was defective, but I get it now."

Sheets rustle on the other line before Tommy sits up again. "What are you talking about, Evan? What's wrong?"

Buck continues talking, bowling over Tommy's questions like he didn't hear them. "I think there's something inside of me that's toxic. Toxins drive people away, it makes them sick, it's the only thing I can think of that makes sense for why everybody I love gets sick of me and leaves. It has to be me, right? Nobody stays, not forever. There's something wrong with me and I've finally figured it out."

"No, Evan," Tommy says, voice soft. He can hear the concern, though, the urgency hidden under his tone. There's the sound of jingling keys and a door opening and closing. Tommy's too far away to stop him.

"Sometimes, people leave. It's just what they do, it is nothing about you or what you've done. It's them. Their problems. My problems, that we should–we should sit down and talk about. Evan, where are you? I'm worried."

He almost doesn't want to tell him, but maybe it'd be better for someone to come out and collect his body so he doesn't ruin the trail. Leave it as you found it, or whatever. He gives Tommy his location and ignores the way it starts a mental countdown in the back of his mind. He doesn't have long now.

"It is me, Tommy. I want to believe you, but I can't. Not when hard evidence for almost my entire fucking life says otherwise. My parents emotionally left before I was even born. Maddie. Abby. Other girlfriends. I even lost the 118 at one point–thanks to that stupid mistake with the lawyer. Everybody leaves. And–and now with you, and Eddie. I'm tired, Tommy. I'm so goddamn tired."

Tears drip down Buck's cheeks. It's exhausting, viewing every relationship as a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, waiting for them to exit left out of his life. He thought things might be different with Tommy, it was one of his longest relationships, but he was wrong.

"You know, when you broke up with me that night, you said you'd be my first, but not my last. You were wrong. I-I love you so much, Tommy, even though you broke my heart. I hate you for leaving just like everyone else, but I also love you. You'll always be my first and last now. It's my turn to leave."

"Evan!" Tommy shouts into the phone and Buck cringes. "Evan, please, don't do anything. I'm on my way, okay, baby? Please just sit still and wait for me and we can talk–about everything. Please."

It'd be so easy to lean forward and let gravity do the work to drag him off the edge. The side of the cliff digs into the bottom of his thighs and he kicks his feet, knocking against some of the dirt and watching it tumble down.

His phone starts buzzing insistently in his hand with texts. Tommy must have sent out a message. He doesn't look at any of them as he pulls his phone to set it on Do Not Disturb before putting it to his ear again.

He doesn't know what to do. He wants the hurt to stop, he just wants it all to stop, but he's afraid. What if he's too weak to commit? Just like he's too weak to not let people back into his life, even if he knows they'll just leave again.

Weak and toxic.

He drops his phone onto his lap and hunches down, elbows pressing into his knees as he covers his face. He can hear sirens in the distance getting closer.

A strangled sob rips its way from his throat and he makes his decision.

"Okay. I'll wait for you."

There's an audible sigh of relief from Tommy. "Thank you, Evan. I'll be right there, okay? Keep talking to me, baby."

He doesn't know what to say anymore and tells Tommy as much.

"That's okay, Evan. I-I heard from Howie that you were baking lately? What have you been baking?"

Buck knows what's Tommy's doing. He's stalling so that Buck doesn't kill himself before Tommy and the first responders can get to him. He's done it dozens of times before to people on the edge while he's rescuing them.

"A lot of bread, really. Pumpkin bread, banana bread, butternut squash. I even, uh, have a sourdough starter that I've been feeding for a couple of weeks now. I named it Billy because it looks sometimes just like the, uh, boils I got from the curse when it expands."

Tommy lets out a watery laugh. "Of course, you'd name your sourdough starter." He clears his throat and the sirens are suddenly much louder in Buck's ears before they cut off abruptly. Quiet, rushed talking that Buck doesn't understand before Tommy starts running. "What else?"

"I made baked Alaska pretty soon after we broke up. It took me hours to make, and the entire time it was setting in the freezer, I had to bake other things to stop myself from calling you. I-I don't know if Chim told you that's why I started baking, but it is."

When Tommy responds, it's not through the phone. He comes to a stop beside him. "It sounds like your coping mechanism was more productive than mine, at least. Want to get away from the edge for me, Evan?"

He holds out his hand and Buck takes it with a shaky laugh. "Oh, yeah? What was yours?" The knowledge that Tommy was moping just as bad as Buck makes him feel...something.

"Eating entire pints of ice cream by myself on the couch while watching rom-coms." Tommy pulls Buck to his feet and wraps his arms tight around him. Buck can feel how badly Tommy is shaking. "Thank god you're okay. Thank you so much for calling me, Evan. Fuck."

Buck hugs him back and ignores the paramedics lingering behind him. He knows he's going to be taken away in the ambulance and put under a 72-hour hold because of this. He doesn't think about that, or what it means for his job when he's let out.

He focuses on Tommy and the way he clings to him. He came back. Sure, maybe he'll leave again when the initial scare of everything fades away, but it's more than most people have done in the past.

Tommy pulls away first and holds Buck's face gently in his hands. There are tear tracks on his cheeks and more spill over as he looks Buck over. "I love you too. I didn't say it earlier and didn't say it then, but I am now. I love you so much, Evan Buckley.

It doesn't fix everything, doesn't even scratch the surface, but it raises something dangerous in Buck's chest.

Hope.

[lostsyren]

love your fanfics on Rafe and Sofia! 😍👏😍👏 I was wondering if I could request something on how Rafe first met Sofia’s dad. There was a scene in S4 where her dad enters into her room but looks around before going inside to talk to Sofia. Idk but it makes me think her dad walked in on her and rafe once and that’s how he met him 😂💀

⋆𝄞⋆ my place or yours?

{a/n: thank you sooo much for the kind words! i hope this is what you expected! i kinda got a bit carried away!}

{summary: rafe and sofia decide to go to her place for a change, but things don’t go to plan…}

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It was the day the furniture was being moved into Rafe’s new house– that meant Rafe and Sofia were left stranded.

He turned to face her as they stood on the lawn watching the U-Haul truck pull into the drive. “Why can’t we go to yours again?”

Sofia rolled her eyes– this was the third time he’d pestered her about it. “Because Rafe, my parents wouldn’t like it.”

“We’d just chill– it’ll all be PG 13 yeah?” He teased with a smile, giving her a little nudge.

Sofia scoffed but a small grin crept across her face.

“Fine. But you gotta sneak in from the back.”

So that’s how Rafe ended up teetering between the street and Sofia’s back-garden, throwing his leg over the rickety fence and landing with a quiet thud on the grass. It was still daytime so he didn’t even have the cover of darkness– he just loitered about, hoping to god none of her family would spot him.

His phone buzzed with a text from Sofia.

S: coast is clear

He let out a little chuckle, sprightly following Sofia’s instructions: Past the oak tree and the first door on the right.

With surveying eyes, he quickly made it there, Sofia opening the door straightaway, yanking him inside by the forearm.

“Woah somebody’s eager,” he smirked, enjoying the way he could rile her up so easily.

“Oh shush, my parents and my siblings are home so you have to be quiet ok?”

Rafe mimed zipping his lips, before he let his eyes roam her room. It was small but cozy, the sunlight filtering in through the floral lace curtains, her bed littered in fluffy pillows and a quilted throw, a cutesy vintage record player on the drawer. It was so Sofia– a mismatched assortment of pretty things. She was like that, he’d noticed, a collector– finding beauty in everything and treating nothing like it was worth something. He sometimes felt like one of her trinkets– the way she’d cherish him sometimes, even when he didn’t deserve it.

“I know you’re used to something a bit more grand,” Sofia mumbled, watching as he drank in her room, tone reserved.

“It’s cute, I like it.” He quickly said, smiling down at her.

“Yeah?” A bright grin spread across her face, making him suffuse with giddiness.

“Yeah.”

“Ok, sit down, let me show you the records I found at the thrift store the other day, in near perfect condition– I couldn’t believe someone just gave them away like that!” She gushed, tugging him by the wrists and gently nudging him to take a seat on her bed.

With a soft grin on his face, Rafe watched Sofia display her bounty, eyes glinting like shiny gems– they always did that when she got excited.

He really tried to focus on what she was saying, but she looked so damn beautiful, cast in the sunlight pooling in from her window, a sense of comfortability that he’d never seen her posses suddenly exuding out of her. This was her room, her little slice of the world, and here she was showing him. Rafe’s heart surged with pride.

Sofia abruptly stopped her rambling, “am I boring you? You can tell me if you’re bored.”

Rafe shook his head, stretching his arms out so they slung lazily around her hips as she stood looking down at him with a winsome expression.

“Never bored by you.” He pulled her down so she was sat in his lap, Sofia letting out a little gasp of shock, her arms flying around his neck.

“Rafe,” she warned, twisting around to make sure no one was outside her door.

“Just one kiss.” He murmured, breath tickling her chest.

“It’s never ends up being one kiss.”

Rafe smirked, his hands roaming up her shirt, massaging soft circles into her skin, as he met his lips with hers with a ravenous softness. Pulling away with a teasing grin, his stomach somersaulted at the image of Sofia trailing for more, her eyes lidded as if in a kiss-drunk haze.

“There…one kiss. We can stop now…”

Sofia rolled her eyes, “that’s not fair.”

“Your rules not mine baby.”

Sofia pushed him back onto her bed until she was left straddling him, Rafe intoxicated by her low breaths and wet lips.

“You better be quiet ok?” She whispered, resting her hands on his chest.

“You’re the one who ends making the most noise–“

“Shut up,” she playfully dismissed, before resuming their kisses, Rafe’s hands greedily running up and down the planes of her body.

They stayed like that for a while, Rafe savouring the way she took control, letting himself sink into her mattress, luxuriating in her velvety blankets and satin pillows that crowned his head.

But her movements soon became languorous and mellow, Sofia’s tell-tale sign she was beginning to get tired. Rafe then gripped her hips, flipping her on to her back in one swift yet gentle manoeuvre, their mouths still hooked by a kiss, until he was the one towering over her.

“God, you’re tired already?” He whispered against the sensitive spot on her neck, between his voracious kisses.

“No…” she lied, her swollen lips caught between her teeth as she simpered up at him, her eyes once again scintillating like diamonds.

“Didn’t take you for liar Sof,” he joked, as his hands traipsed lower, his hot palm pressed against her navel, making her squirm.

“You lied to me…PG 13? You look like you’re about two seconds away from making this an R rated feature.”

“Stop putting ideas in my head.”

Rafe kissed her again, breathlessly, hungrily, inhaling every little noise she made.

He was so enamoured by her lithe body moving up to graze his, lost in their idyllic stupor, glorying in the sensation of her feathery fingers skimming his midriff– he didn’t even realise what made Sofia scramble away from him.

He moved off her quickly, following her eye line to the doorway.

Shit. It was her dad.

“Pinche cabrón,” he yelled, in what Rafe presumed was a curse, striding across the small gap between the bed and the door, grabbing Rafe by the collar of his shirt and yanking him up to his feet.

“No dad stop!” Sofia interceded, clumsily pulling her father’s hands off of her boyfriend.

He let go, leaving Rafe standing between Sofia and her father, silently praying to god the ground would open up beneath his feet and swallow him whole. He regretted ever pestering Sofia to let him go to her place.

“¿Qué crees que estás haciendo, niñita?” He groused, question directed to Sofia but gaze still firmly affixed on to Rafe, who began to swelter under his scrutiny.

Rafe opened his mouth, tongue like sandpaper, throat all dry, “I’m so sorry sir–“

“You shut up, I am talking to my daughter.”

“Dad, this is Rafe, remember I told you about him?” Sofia tried to alleviate the tension, her tone imploring and meditative.

Her dad’s eyes narrowed, still harbouring a bitter distaste for the boy in front of him. “Sneaking him in like that? That’s not like you Sofia,” her dad chastised.

“It was my idea sir, don’t blame her–“

“Listen kid, you’re already getting on my nerves, so I’d suggest you zip it, yeah?”

“Yes sir.” Rafe shut up. He hated this, scared that her dad would beat him up or something– because that’s what fathers did, didn’t they? And he wouldn’t even be able to fight back since it was literally Sofia’s dad. A sharp pit lodged itself in his stomach at the reminder of his own father.

Sofia was saying something to placate him, and it seemed to be working. But Rafe was too overcome by his ambushing memories to comprehend the conversation.

Her dad nodded his head slowly, his previously stony eyes softening when he looked at his daughter. Rafe stirred with sadness, remembering how cold Ward’s gaze always was. (It was only on the steps of the plane did Rafe feel some semblance of warmth from his father’s eyes).

“Fine, but keep the door open, and I want you to stay for dinner Rafe, ok?”

Rafe was taken aback, his mouth dropping slightly, “dinner? Yeah of course I’d be honoured– thank you sir.”

“You’re lucky Sofia likes you,” he muttered, before turning to leave, making a show of keeping the door wide open. Once her dad was far enough away, Sofia collapsed back into bed, her hands shrouding her face.

“That was mortifying,” she mumbled.

“For you or for me? Your dad hates me now.”

“Yeah well you’re the one who started it– just one kiss, that worked out real well, didn’t it?”

“Hey you’re the one who jumped on top of me!”

Sofia rolled her yes, beginning to giggle quietly, until her laughs faded away, her eyes turning serious.

“He didn’t hurt you did he?” She asked, sitting up as Rafe took a seat opposite her on the chair instead of the bed, scared that her dad would return again unannounced, to check on them.

“No, I’m more embarrassed than anything– god, whose great idea was this?”

Sofia scoffed throwing a pillow at his face.

Rafe just chuckled, throwing it back at her softly so it wouldn’t hurt, “he wants me to stay for dinner? Really?”

“Of course,” Sofia soothed, leaning over to hold his hands in hers, “you don’t mind do you? I can make an excuse for you if you want to leave?” She murmured, almost embarrassed.

Rafe’s fingers tightened around her own, “of course I want to stay.”

“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable…I know your family wasn’t the greatest.” Her voice lowered, resembling silk that wrapped around his throat. He held back a choked sob, feeling exposed. Naked.

“I’ll be fine, you’ll be there.” He tried to smile, but it came off as a grimace.

“I promise they’ll love you.” Sofia assured sweetly, shaking his hands with her vow.

Rafe fidgeted at the funny feeling that pooled in his abdomen– love. It was such an alien concept to him. He loved his father. He loves Sofia. But he wondered who loved him?

Glancing toward Sofia’s consoling visage, he finally smiled easily, assuaged by her opiating essence. She loved him…he tried to ignore his morbid past he kept under wraps, pushing it to the deepest trenches of his heart. That wasn’t him– this was. The man he’d become around Sofia. At least that’s what he told himself.

Sofia lifted his hands with her own, bringing Rafe’s knuckles to her lips and brushing a soft kiss against his rough skin, “it’ll be ok.”

Rafe nodded, letting his anxiety melt away at her touch, “ok, I trust you.”

⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆ ⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆ ⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆ ⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆ ⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆ ⋆.✮

Dinner time rolled round quickly, Sofia leading him to the kitchen, Rafe trailing behind like lost puppy. He felt like he was taking up too much space in their house, everything already so bustling and enclosed.

Her mom was in the kitchen, stirring something that smelled amazing whilst her siblings were scattered everywhere. One was watching TV in the living room, another was running about in her little fairy wings and the last one was helping her dad fix a broken shelf.

Rafe smiled at the havoc, being reminded of dinner time at Tannyhill where him, Sarah and Wheezie would rile Rose up, before being on their best behaviour when Ward came out of the study.

He missed it.

Sometimes it got lonely in that big house of his– if it wasn’t for Sofia, Rafe sometimes thought he’d go insane.

“Sorry about all the chaos,” Sofia said sheepishly, turning around with an apologetic smile.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s nice.” That’s all he could say? Nice?

But Sofia took no notice of his scarce vocabulary, instead leading him to the dining table and telling him to take a seat.

“Wait where you going?” He asked when she didn’t take a seat beside him.

“Just in the kitchen to help out my mom, I’ll be back in a bit yeah, just relax.” She squeezed his shoulder placatingly.

So Rafe tried to do that, relax, tapping his fingers restlessly against the hardwood table. His gaze continually strayed to Sofia in the kitchen, but she was too busy getting the food ready to meet his eyes. Her little sister whizzed about the room, flapping her arms as she pretended to fly, Rafe recalling Wheezie doing the same thing when she was kid. His heart stirred with an aching nostalgia.

Sofia’s little sister eventually took notice of the strange man sitting at their dining table, stopping still in her tracks, before nervously approaching him, shrugging off her fairy wings as if she was embarrassed. Rafe offered her a smile and a friendly wave, trying his best not to appear scary or intimidating. But it was hard to do when was 6,2 with a buzz cut– and apparently he had a resting-scary face, that’s what Sofia had told him– whatever that meant.

And he was notoriously bad with kids, never knowing what to do or say around them. They always ended up crying because of him or running away from him, so the nerves began to quickly inundate Rafe when the little girl came and sat right next to him.

“Hello,” he greeted, mind blank.

“Hi.” Her eyes wandered about the room, occasionally lingering on Rafe’s face, when she thought he couldn’t see.

“So what’s your name?” Rafe asked, scratching the back of his neck.

“Isla.”

“That’s a pretty name.” He realised he was quickly running out of conversation starters.

“Are you Sofia’s boyfriend?” She suddenly asked, blunt as a rock.

He laughed nervously, beginning to feel hot, “yeah I am.”

How was a 10 years old making him this anxious?

“Isla, I hope you’re being nice to our guest,” Sofia’s voice suddenly saved him from the awkward silence.

“She was being wonderful,” Rafe said, giving Isla a playful smile, one which she actually reciprocated this time round– it made his heart swell with warmth.

Soon the table was set and everyone took their seats. On one side of Rafe sat Isla, and on the other was Sofia, her parents on either end of the table, the two other kids opposite them. Their names were Anita and Luca, Rafe learnt.

Sofia’s mom had made some sort of meat stew with beans and rice that looked delicious and smelled even better. Rafe wasn’t used to home cooked meals– Rose or Ward never cooked and he could barely remember his mom’s cooking. The thought sent ripples of sadness through him, which he endeavoured to push past.

“Thank you Mrs Flores,” Rafe nodded his head in gratitude, trying his best to make a good first impression on Sofia’s mom at least.

“I tried to make it not too hot for you– Sofia told me you couldn’t handle spice.”

“Mama,” Sofia whispered, glancing at Rafe in chagrin.

Rafe kicked her gently under the table– it was true, he couldn’t handle spice but she didn’t need to embarrass him like that.

“Oh she’s just making fun, I love spicy food.” He lied, giving her mom a flashing smile.

They all got to eating, Anita and Luca bickering between mouthfuls of rice, Mrs Flores constantly having to remind Isla to finish her food, and Mr Flores glancing ever so often between his daughter and Rafe, trying his best to remain poker faced.

The first few spoonfuls were fine, probably the best thing Rafe had eaten in a long time, but soon the spice began to build up, hitting the back of his throat. He tried his best not to cough but that just made it worse, his oesophagus feeling like it was on fire.

“Baby drink some water,” Sofia whispered beside him, noticing him silently struggle. Anita and Luca seemed to notice too, and soon began to chitter with barely concealed giggles.

“Cállate,” Sofia hissed, whilst Rafe just tried to survive.

“So Rafe, Sofia tells me you’ve moved house recently.” Her dad began, paying no heed to the commotion around the table, as if he was used to it.

Rafe took a long sip of water before his answer, “yeah actually, thought it was about time.”

“And you’re a property developer?”

Rafe just nodded, taking down another gulp of water.

Sofia was still squabbling with Anita and Luca and Isla has gotten distracted, beginning to make a tower of mashed up rice.

“How do you feel about those new rezoning laws– must mean business is booming for you right?”

“Dad.” Sofia clipped warily, suddenly honing into the conversation.

“Well I personally haven’t rezoned anything, but a couple of people have started.”

“Hmn,” Mr Flores hummed, taking another forkful of food. Rafe was glad he’d left it at that– business talk never led to anywhere good. He recalled countless arguments between him and Ward over the business at the dinner table– arguments he’d never get to have again, he realised with a bitter afterthought.

Mrs Flores thankfully changed the conversation, asking if Rafe liked the stew and if he’d ever had Mexican food before.

And before Rafe knew it, dinner was over, the kids all rushing to the kitchen to deposit their plates and go back to their games and TV, leaving Rafe to say his thank yous and goodbyes.

“Thanks for dinner, I appreciate it.” He said.

“Of course Rafe, anytime.” Mrs Flores smiled.

Sofia’s dad gave him a reserved nod of the head, letting his daughter see him out.

Once they reached the front door, Rafe let his body relax, a deep sigh escaping his chest.

Sofia giggled seeing his pent up stress, “see I told you it’d be fine.”

“Fine? You forgot to mention the spice, I was dying there– at least your siblings were entertained.” He joked.

“Oh stop being a baby.”

The two stood in the doorway, faces stuck in a lingering smile.

“I had fun, thank you Sofia,” Rafe finally said, tone sincere.

“No– thank you for staying, you didn’t have to but you did…that means a lot to me.”

That funny feeling began to rouse in his chest again– the sickening sentiment of being appreciated.

“Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” He said, rubbing a palm across the nape of his neck.

“Yeah, see you then.” Sofia tiptoed up to press a kiss against his lips, Rafe letting himself melt into her body, his hands planted on her waist.

“I’m scared your dad is going to interrupt us again.” He whispered against her mouth.

Sofia laughed softly, “yeah we’re never doing that again.”

Rafe left Sofia’s house, a strange sensation of floating settling over him. For a brief moment it felt like he was a part of a family again, his body consumed by a warmth he didn’t knew still lived inside him.

⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆ ⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆ ⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆ ⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆ ⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆ ⋆.✮

[missingininaction]

alright, friends, i might say something you don't like but i think it's important. not just to defend a character, but because i think this is literally making people's experience and relationship with this game worse.

give jimmy like two seconds to exist.

by hating jimmy so much you refuse to even say his name, and judge real, living people for liking him, you are cheapening your experience by boiling down the main character to the most ~yuckiest~ moments. and, by not making a seperate space for hating on him, you are drowning out the voices of people who actually have nuanced things to say about his character. you know, the skilled writers and artists that feed the fandom? limitation is what kills fandoms, you have to know that.

is jimmy a good person? no. is he a good captain/companion/worker? Absolutely Not! he crumbles like dust under any pressure and he immediately shifts blame off of himself, he is an actively harmful individual and it's right to be upset by his actions. i literally had to stop myself from saying "man FUCK jimmy." multiple times because i didn't want to spoil how terrible he got to my friends when i showed the game to them.

but you have to understand; people are more than their actions. thats part of the entire point of the game. thats why its so abstract. you are meant to think about the nuances of their situation.

we can agree that anya was way more as a woman than what happened to her and what she did as a result of it, right? that despite her best efforts, she was a victim of circumstance, and she deserves to be understood and analyzed fully?

then why, seeing a fictional man who has done immoral things, are you so disgusted you won't even draw, write or discuss him outside of hate? what is that doing for you, to ignore literally the main character of the game because of his actions?

now, this is not to say people can't hate jimmy. i understand it! as someone who has been a victim of s/a and abuse, i understand if you hate him and are even triggered by him to the point of avoiding mention of him. (but...why are you in this fandom? ((not aggressive im genuinely asking)))

you can feel however you want about any character, my goal is not to control people. but i thought it was common knowledge to not hatepost about someone in their tag? over actual insight into his character and, you know, the main themes of the game?

jimmy is a man who has struggled his whole life. both him and curly confirm that in the game. he's unable to control his emotional outbursts, and he likely had no idea what to expect from being in fucking SPACE for over a year with people he probably didn't even know before that trip. and pony express and their corporate safety corner cutting certainly didnt help, did it?

for one reason or another, he most likely was never actually taught how to manage his emotions. that's just how it is sometimes, growing up as a man. and it would make sense if he was forced to deal with everything himself, no? he always complains, but he still says he'll handle it. because that's what he's always had to do. and this is just the start of what i could say about what made him the way that he is.

he's a victim too, not only of his own actions.

surprise surprise, people who do awful things can also be victims.

honestly, this entire situation baffles me. how are you going to avoid one of the main characters of the game, let alone the one you play as ninety percent of the time? mind you, curly is also guilty, and i am happy to see at least some people giving him space for nuance. because he is also a victim!!! why is it so impossible to see jimmy as nuanced, when literally every other character also has incredible depth to them??

you're tarnishing and spitting on the beautiful writing of this game just because one character is too icky for you to feel comfortable thinking about for too long. it's horror, you absolute morons. it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.

if you hate jimmy, i dont blame you. but please, please, make your own space for it. be kind to people who want to explore jimmy and the darker themes, and like him for what his character represents. this is a video game fandom, not a witch hunt. and please, learn some fandom etiquette while you're at it, okay? okay. thank you

also just say his name. its not a slur youre not gonna go to hell if you say jimmy. like this isn't as important but still it just feels like a microcosm of this whole thing.

[anakinstwinklebunny]

Author's note: smth for my angsty people. Inspo from amazing writer of all times @rssmary

SAM MONROE thought he'd never find someone who truly understood him. Then there was you—brilliant, kind, and everything he didn’t think he deserved. You were his lifeline, the one who believed in him when no one else did. When you told him you were pregnant, he was terrified, but your excitement and unwavering faith in him made him believe he could be better for you—for both of you.

But life is cruel.

The labor was supposed to be hard but worth it. Everyone told him that once he heard the baby’s first cry, he’d forget the pain of waiting. But when your hand went limp in his, and the machines blared around him, he forgot everything else instead.

Time stopped as they pulled him away, shoving your baby into his arms while they tried to save you. The nurses told him to hold on to the little one, to stay strong, but all he could do was stare at your lifeless body through the window, his mind refusing to accept the reality.

You were gone..

You

Were

Gone

He tried to understand the meaning of the words

Days bled into nights as Sam sat in the nursery, the small bassinet feeling like a cruel mockery. The baby—their baby—was beautiful, with tiny fingers and your nose. But every time he looked at them, he felt a sharp pain in his chest. It was like holding his heart outside his body and knowing it came at the cost of losing his own soul.

The funeral was unbearable. He didn't appear at the ceremony, hell, it pained him to even think about going there. Yet, he still did. Out of respect and love he had for you.

He stood there alone hours after the ceremony, staring at your casket, tears streaming down his face. 'I can’t do this without you' he whispered into the silence.

Because who he was? A random guy who wore eyeliner and constantly did drugs now to raise a child alone?

Yet, still, he had to.

The first night without you was the longest of his life. The baby cried and cried, and Sam had no idea what to do. He was a mess—fumbling with bottles, pacing the floor, begging them to stop screaming. At some point, he sank to the floor, the baby against his chest as he sobbed into their tiny body. “I’m sorry,” he choked out. “I’m so sorry.”

His mother was all supportive, helping Sam to do the stuff he never thought he'd have to do, but Sam refused to let anyone fully take over.

'They’re all I have left of her' he'd constantly say, not letting anyone to his room

Every milestone felt like a knife to the chest. The first time they smiled, he saw you. The first time they babbled, he heard your voice. And yet, he celebrated it all because he knew that’s what you would’ve wanted.

Sam made sure they grew up knowing you. He told them stories about your laugh, how you used to tease him, and how you were the bravest person he’d ever known. “Your mom,” he’d say, his voice holding onto the life to not break, “she was magic..wherever she is right now, she definitely loves you so much”

But there were nights when the grief swallowed him whole. When he’d sit in the nursery, the baby fast asleep in his arms, and cry silently. He’d whisper to the darkness, wishing you could see them, wishing you could see him trying so hard not to break.

“Why’d you leave me?” he asked once, his voice cracking as he rocked your baby in his arms. “How am I supposed to do this without you?”

He'd often find himself doing something so out of character to him - each week he wrote you long letters about the baby, about new stuff they did or how he got peed on while changing the diaper. Letters were hidden properly under his bed, becoming a mountain of folded papers. It was therapeutic to him, but also he felt like he owe you that, to let you know how his life's going without you, how he still lives - for the sake of your baby.

As the years passed, Sam became a father you’d be proud of. He was there for every scraped knee, every bedtime story, every school play. He wasn’t perfect—he had days when the weight of your absence was too much—but he loved fiercely.

Still, most of the nights, when the world went quiet and the baby-turned-toddler slept peacefully, he’d sit by their bed and mumble quiet “I miss you.” as if you could hear him

And he did.

Every.single.day.

Because no matter how much time passed, the hole you left in his heart never healed. You were his first love, his only love, and even though you were gone, you were everywhere. In the way the sunlight streamed through the windows, in the baby’s laughter, in the quiet moments when he closed his eyes and pretended you were still there.

And though it hurt more than he could ever put into words, he wouldn’t trade a single second of it. Because loving you, even in your absence, was the greatest thing he’d ever done.

And he’d spend the rest of his life making sure your baby—your legacy—knew just how much they were loved by the most extraordinary person SAM MONROE had ever known.

TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @haydensprettyprincess @skyguys-princess @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @literally-izzy @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet @deceptiive @anakinskwkler @bimbo-baggins17 @cookybananas @emotionallybruisedx @diorvalentina @sevinax @throughparisallthroughrome @aniiuv @ritosparty @ninastyless @lily-strnlo @thesassypadawan

(if you want to be on the tag list or don't want to be, don't be shy and let me know 💋)

[beelinx]

priorities

synopsis: osamu miya has always been a simple guy, prioritizing the same things all his life. but what happens when a new, unexpected person comes along, making his priorities change? warnings: rushed AND not proofread. probably ooc osamu bc i haven’t finished s4 yet </3 reader is referred to as girlfriend once! 1.6k words

osamu miya only ever had three things on his mind: food, volleyball, and his annoying twin brother.

he didn’t think much about anything, or anyone, else. he actually has a pretty straightforward routine, featuring all his main priorities.

wake up and eat a delicious breakfast

school (though he’s mostly thinking about what he’s having for lunch right now)

lunch with his friends and atsumu 

volleyball while his brother’s being annoying

snacking while drowning out atsumu’s voice

dinner, calmingly munching on his meal while his brother is still being annoying.

go to sleep, probably off to dream about food again

so yeah, osamu’s a pretty simple guy.

he didn’t get distracted easily, not that he’d be able to, anyway. if he lost focus during a match his brother would be sure to get his ass. which he already does, when osamu’s love for food occasionally gets the best of him.

for almost as long as he can remember, osamu’s had the same guiding priorities as always.

so, why was it that all his priorities were being messed up now?

why, instead of looking forward to lunch, he went to school looking forward to seeing your face?

why was he now zoning out during volleyball practice at the thought of you?

why was it that when you came along, he suddenly fell asleep dreaming of you, instead of his next meal?

he couldn’t understand why you were suddenly overcoming him. you, who he’d barely just met. how could someone he met not even a year ago be suddenly more important to him than everything he’s been prioritizing all his life?

he couldn’t figure it out.

he couldn’t figure you out.

you’re a year under him. you’re in the yearbook club, because, according to you, your friends wanted to all be in the same club together. that day, though, you had come alone. you said you were there to photograph the volleyball club, and you were nice to him, really nice. he couldn’t help but stare at you a little as you hurried around, trying to get the best pictures. 

that day, you briefly mentioned really liking onigiri, and that you were craving some at the moment. apparently, hearing say that was all it took to make him fall for you.

again, really simple guy.

ever since that day, when he first laid eyes on you, osamu’s never been able to stop looking for you everywhere he is. seeing your face was now the thing he looked forward to the most, with the highlight of his day being your satisfied little smile after taking a bite out of an onigiri.

his little crush was slowly becoming not so little anymore, with his teammates quickly catching onto the younger twin’s new and powerful infatuation. 

they’d tease him sometimes during practice, with his brother occasionally making snide remarks on how “his serves were off, probably because his daydreaming about his cute little girlfriend” causing osamu to roll his eyes and tell atsumu to “shut up” as he shoves a ball towards his face.

whenever he found the time to do so, osamu would stop by wherever you were. one of these days he gave you an onigiri he’d made himself, mumbling something about overhearing you say you like them. you told him it was the best onigiri you’ve ever had, so he started making them for you whenever he could.

you’d started eating lunch together at least once a week, and he really couldn’t help but stare at you while you munched on your meal. for some reason, he always thought you looked the most beautiful while you ate. especially if it was him that prepared it for you.

it’s not like he’s a coward or something, he wants to confess to you. he really does. but he can’t help but be scared about how it’s going to affect his life.

his three main priorities, all overshadowed by a new one. 

he wasn’t sure he was ready for that, so he waited. he waited, and waited, and waited. until one day, it all became too much for him.

he hadn’t planned it, hadn’t prepared for this except for all the countless nights imagining this moment. well, he hoped he’d be able to muster up some poetic words from those sleepless nights, instead of making this an incredibly awkward and disturbing experience for the both of you.

“hey ‘samu!” you greeted him. he felt himself blush merely at the sound or your voice. he silently cursed himself for how pathetic he was being. he handed you the onigiri he had brought along for you today, while avoiding all the eye contact he would to ensure you wouldn’t see him blushing furiously.

“wait, actually!” you said as you shoved your hand down your bag, slowly bringing out a container, “i brought you onigiri, too!” you quickly handed him the food, looking quite sheepish, “i wanted to switch things up a bit, but honestly i don’t think they’re as good as yours. still though, i wanted to do something for you! to thank you for being so sweet to me.”

you giggled softly as you handed him the packed goods. you kept talking, rambling on about your day or random things you’ve had on your mind. he didn’t reply to you, didn’t say or do anything but listen to your voice, not really processing what you were saying. he couldn’t exactly form coherent thoughts right now. he just stared silently at the meal, then at you, then back at the meal. he repeated this action thoughtlessly for a while. well, not really thoughtlessly, his mind was currently rushing with many thoughts, so many he couldn’t decipher any of them, except for the breathtaking image of your face..

suddenly, he felt overcome by courage and impulsively said, “be my girlfrien’?”

that seemed to stop your rambling on its track. you opened and closed your mouth repeatedly, trying to find the words to reply, or maybe you were just too shocked to process what he’d just said.

“c-can you repeat that?” you stuttered, still too taken aback by his sudden confession.

osamu felt as if his heart was trying to race out of his chest at this very moment. he hitched his breath, opening his mouth as he prepared to repeat his question, to face your cruel rejection, when a loud voice suddenly boomed throughout the schoolyard.

“‘SAMUUUU!”

priority number three.

“yer’ running late for volleyball practice, ya idiot,” atsumu said, “hurry up or we’re makin’ ya do diving drills alone!” 

osamu seemed to cringe at his brother’s voice, silently cursing him for interrupting your conversation. he turned around to look at his brother, and when he looked back at you, he couldn’t help but feel as all the previous courage to confess quickly drifted out of his body. now, all he could do was silently pray you actually hadn't heard him correctly, but he knew that was wishful thinking.

“‘samu i-”

“i’ve gotta go,” he interrupted you before hearing your words of rejection. he turned around and walked off after his brother, turning back to look at you twice, both with an apologetic and awkward look on his face. 

you were left standing shellshocked, alone, in the middle of the schoolyard, wondering what the hell just happened. 

you debated the possibilities of having actually misheard him. maybe he was actually talking about his secret girlfriend, bea. or maybe he actually saw a bee. no, that seemed very unlikely. but, really, what were the chances of your long-time crush actually liking you back? highly improbable. you’d even go as far as to say it was impossible, if you hadn’t caught him staring at you for a second too long before. 

you weren’t about to confess to him, though. no way. you already felt incredibly lucky to have somehow managed to befriend osamu, destroying your friendship would kill you. you nervously nibbled on the onigiri you were currently holding, one he’d made for you today. your favorite flavor, too. it was sweet, how he remembered exactly how you felt about each flavor.

well, that thought made you even more anxious, as you had now started pacing around nervously, trying to decipher what you should do with your current situation.

meanwhile, osamu wasn’t having it much easier.

“jeez, ya really blew it out there, didn't cha?” his brother teased him.

“shut up,” he mumbled back in reply, “‘s not funny,”

“i think it is!” he laughed, “why didn’t ya ask her out sooner, though? i’m sure she woulda gone on a date with ya,” atsumu said. well, osamu doubted that, and he wasn’t exactly sure when his brother switched from being an asshole to actually trying to comfort him. though, osamu figured maybe he felt bad after being the one to interrupt. 

actually, scratch that. that doesn’t exactly sound like atsumu.

“‘m not sure about that,” osamu replied slowly.

“nah, i know it! she’s crazy for ya,” he said, as he put a hand on osamu’s shoulder and patted him comfortingly, “you’ll get it next time, just not durin’ practice time, yeah?”

then it seemed like the topic was immediately erased from his brother’s mind, because he then started rambling on about whatever it is happened to him, not adding a single word about what just happened. osamu only listened to him vaguely, occasionally nodding or humming in reply, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. mostly on whether or not his brother’s words rang true at all.

did you really like him back? well, he figured it wasn’t actually impossible, you do treat him differently as you do others. and you made onigiri for him today. you always laugh at his shitty jokes, too. and you said you thought his hair was cute once.

…yeah, maybe he should try confessing to you again.but he’d make sure to do it properly this time.

[megumishousewife]

Gojo's Pussy Pink Lips

Description: Gojo gets the day off to be with you, his lovely wife as he reflect on how much you mean to him. As well as annoying you

A/N: I might do a part two if this does well. There's a little bit of smut in here towards the end. Thank youuu!!!

Gojo was surprised when Yaga gave him a day for himself. As the strongest sorcerer, you always gotta be light on your feet and ready for the next call because you will never truly know when you gotta save Japan or the world. Gojo was about to leave Yaga’s office so he could make his rounds to his students that class is canceled when, but his boss obviously had to make a smart remark.

Yaga yelled behind him, “Make sure to do something with that beautiful wife of yours. I can’t believe she married someone like you.” Gojo groaned at Yaga’s comment, but he isn’t far from the truth. Gojo was a lot of things: annoying, hard-headed, egotistic. You were the opposite and he still doesn’t know how he managed to find such an intelligent, gentle, and well-minded woman as yourself. Gojo thought about how thankful he was for you he dazed off while driving.

He met you in Kyoto when the two of you were in high school. Gojo was out in Kyoto, looking for the spot that Yaga told him had suspicious activity, but you and Utahime were already on the scene since it was the Kyoto’s branch area. Utahime scolded him for coming when she was supposed to be helping the rookie (you) with executing curses. Gojo still walked up to the second floor of the building, joining the two of you.

Utahime screamed, “Gojo, what the hell are you even doing here?!” 

Gojo smiled, “Yaga didn’t mention anything about the Kyoto branch taking up this mission so I was sent over. He must have gotten word back last minute but I can stay just in case you weaklings can’t handle it.”

Utahime continued bickering in the dark hallway with Gojo, but they didn’t even notice that you had gone missing until they heard clashing and banging from the door down the hallway. They stood quietly, wondering what you have gotten yourself into. Gojo had already turned limitless when he entered the building just in case things went south. Gojo left Utahime down on the far end of the hallway, taking long strides over to the door. He ignored Utahime yelling at him for leaving her, but just as he was about to open the door, you breezed right past him and went straight to your partner. 

“Utahime, I exercised the curse. It seemed to have been a human at one point and had some connections to this building, but I made sure to cleanse the room and I already did the rest of the building when I was looking around earlier.”

Utahime gasped,”Wow, you’re better than I thought! The Kyoto division is proud to have you on our team. Gojo?”

Gojo still stood on the end of the hallway by the door, still shocked that you even ignored his presence. Coming back to reality, he turned back and went over to introduce himself.

“Sorry I didn’t greet you earlier! Gojo Satoru, Tokyo division and not to mention the strongest.”

He seemed to be flirting with you but you dismissed him with your cold expression and short greeting.

“Name’s Y/N, pleasure to meet you.”

You turned on your heels and walked away to the stairs and Gojo was left in shock again. He only interacted with you once and he loved it. Maybe it was because of your cold and aloof attitude or because you weren’t swooned over by his good looks. Gojo also admired that you were fresh to this new life of yours and you handled business all on your own. He knew he had to know more about you. After months of begging Utahime and Shoko for your number (yall all had a gc with each other), they agreed to set him up on a date with you as long as Gojo didn’t act like an asshole. 

You waited for him at a cafe in a short floral dress and he was taken aback. You dressed differently than your attitude but maybe it’s because you two met on a mission. You smiled warmly at him and handed him a menu when he sat down.

“Hi, Gojo. I heard you liked sweets so I made sure to pick this cafe because they make the best desserts. I’m  ready to order whenever you are,” You said in the nicest voice.

Gojo thought that he had to win you over but you caught him first. The way your voice was as smooth as butter but sweeter than honey made him want to melt in his seat. The two of you ended up ordering the same thing and just laughed at the strange convenience. You guys hit it off pretty well and he didn’t even have to ask you for another date because you texted him when you got back to your dorms about the upcoming fair and you’ve grown closer to him ever since. By the end of your 1st year at Kyoto, you and Gojo started dating. He fell for your kind hearted personality as well as your perspective on the world and having deep connections with others. You made Gojo realize that he doesn’t have to close off his heart from everyone. When he lost Suguru twice, to them splitting and death, you were his shoulder to lean on when he had to cry. You reminded Gojo that he was still human despite what the sorcerer world has to say. He even appreciated your patience for him still holding a spot in the jujutsu world while you sat out until Tokyo or Kyoto needed your services. Gojo also loved how gentle you were with Megumi when he was younger, noticing that the boy and his step sister opened up to you a lot more because they saw Gojo as an annoying uncle. Even as a teenager, Megumi will come to you if something is deeply troubling him (or Gojo pissed him off again).

His phone buzzed as he was taken out of his deep thoughts, seeing the call was from you and he picked up immediately.

“Hey honey, are you break right now? I can come up there and we can eat together,” your soft voice came over the speaker. 

“Actually, I’m on my way home right now. Yaga gave me the day off.”

You smiled, “Ah, that’s great! I was just making that mochi you wanted so bad and we can just stay in the house today. You deserve this.”

“I should be home in 10 minutes, look sexy for me,” he said.

“You’re insufferable.” 

You hung up the phone and began to make the mochi that Gojo has been whining to you about eating for the past few weeks. It’s the least you can do since you only get to see him on the weekends if he didn’t get an important call. You sat your wedding ring in the counter and began kneading the mochi dough while watching a movie you had on the tv. After finishing kneading, you covered your dough and sat down to watch the movie because you were starting to get deep into the plot. You almost didn’t hear the door open, but you did hear your loud mouth husband yell when he saw you.

“MY DEAREST Y/N, IT’S BEEN AGES SINCE WE SAW EACH OTHER!” 

He ran over to kiss you, but you swatted at him.

“You act like dogs when they greet their owners when they come home.”

You gave him a quick peck, but ended up turning into a longer kiss than anticipated. Gojo laid across the couch in your living room, allowing your soft hands to run across his face as he told you about his students, but something felt missing. 

He shot up, “My sweetest little mochi, let me see your hands.”

“You and this weird nickname. What is wrong with my hands?”

You still held up your hands for him and he gasped at the missing spot on your ring finger.

He wailed, “Are you trying to tell me something? WHO IS HE?”

“Gojo. stop being a big baby. I love you very much and I would never do what you’re implying. My ring is in the kitchen, I didn’t want it to get sticky because of the dough I was making for you.”

You kissed him on the cheek and made your way to the kitchen to make the filling he requested as well. Your whiny husband followed you into the kitchen, standing behind you as you assembled the mochi balls. After making your first one, you held it up for him to eat and he took it with his mouth. You rolled your eyes and finished making the rest of them. Once completed, you took a plate of them with you to your bedroom and put the rest in the fridge. You waved your finger for Gojo to follow and of course, he wasn’t too far behind you. You sat on the bed and he laid on his respected side as you fed him so mochi you already bit off from.

“I made dinner reservations at 7, but I have a request for what I want you to wear,” Gojo said with his mouth full.

You smacked his arm, “I thought we were staying in! I could have cooked here. And it’s already 5:30, now I have to get ready fast.”

“Okay, Nara Smith but you were basically drooling over that restaurant you passed after a mission so I wanted to take you. Now, my dress request for tonight is the one that I bought you for our second wedding anniversary. The black one with the slit on the side.”

You ignored his comment and went to the bathroom where your walk-in closet was. On your side, you went towards the back where all your formal dresses were and grabbed the dress Gojo described. In the mirror in the middle of the closet, you held the dress up to your figure and sighed. You felt as though you put on extra weight so Gojo might not see the same woman he saw those years ago, but you would still wear the dress, knowing it would still make your husband happy. You took a shower while Gojo contemplated what suit would match your silk dress. You wrapped your towel around you and saw your husband in a black dress shirt and black slacks. He actually took his blindfold off and replaced it with his signature glasses.

“If you saw me…standing outside your door, licking my lips and then say ‘Ma’am, you look like you need some di-’,

“I see you took that musty ass blindfold off. Put it in the laundry basket,” you counter him.

If nothing can hurt Gojo Satoru, that would be a lie. The thing that can hurt him the most is his wife’s rude comments. He went out the bathroom, defeated as you began to slip your dress on and put on your earrings. Gojo reappeared in the mirror when you were putting on your lip gloss and lotion.

He spoke in a soft, feminine voice, “My husband and I are eating out at dinner today because we both have the day off. I must say, my husband looks striking as usual.”

“Gojo, I am not Nara Smith! If I was, I would poison your food everyday. You do have Lucky’s eyes though.”

“You know, Nobara said the same thing but she said he looks better.”

He stepped behind you in the mirror and caressed your body, feeling the smooth fabric over your curves. The perfume you used was the one he had bought for your birthday and he was tempted to just throw you on the bed and fuck you enough for you to forget about reservations. 

You chuckled, “Are all those years of you making me try new desserts with you catching up on me?”

Gojo leaned down to kiss your neck, “I would still love you no matter what you looked like.”

He flipped you around and lifted you onto the sink. Slotting himself between your legs, the passionate kisses had you ready to gasp for air. Gojo stuck his tongue in your mouth, swirling his with yours, making your head go woozy. You pulled him away and looked at him with a flushed face.

You gasped, “I know where this is going and you’re going to make us late.”

He ignored you and carried you over to the bed anyways. Plopping you in the middle of the bed, he opened your legs and slid off your panties. Gojo looked at his watch on his wrist before bringing his face close enough to where you can feel his breath on your clit. He looked up at you and smiled.

“I have an hour to do what I want, but I already know you’re going to be begging for more. So what’s it gonna be?”

Your answer was tears streaming down your face while Gojo devoured your pussy, ignoring your hand tugging on his white locks. Now you’re sitting across from Gojo at the restaurant, looking at his glossy lips, knowing your juices are still covering them.  

[imawreck]

His

Pairing: Winter Soldier x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky broke up a few months ago against your wishes, and you’d been trying to move on. When Bucky sees you flirting with another member of the team, he leaves for the next mission to avoid getting in your way. Unfortunately, the mission goes bad, and Bucky isn’t himself when he comes back. He also has a lot to say…

Author’s Note: I realize that in most of my fics Thor is the other romantic interest/situationship, but you CANT tell me that man wouldn’t flirt up a storm with a beautiful woman any chance he got. Also, this is my first smutty fic so feedback and comments would be much appreciated! This is on the more explicit side, so please read with caution.

Warnings: Cursing, mentions self loathing/guilt (it’s Bucky, kinda normal), choking kink, Possessive!Winter Soldier, flashbacks, hair pulling, fingering, metal arm kink, dominant!winter soldier, probably some more but those are the big ones.

Word Count: 4,850

Breakups are ugly most of the time, and almost always one sided.

You and Bucky had been apart for at least three months. You’d stopped counting, wanting to forget it and focus on anything else. It was easier that way, to ignore the heartbreak and clutter up your life with other things to do.

Unfortunately, you still lived in the same tower on the same floor, right across from one another. He was constantly around, and no mattered how hard you tried, you just couldn’t avoid him.

It was hell.

And it was only hell because Bucky hardly gave you a good reason for the break up. Sure, you had your arguments. Mostly about his past and how much better he thought you deserved, to which you’d list all the reasons he was wrong. In reality, those weren’t really arguments. It was just Bucky having a low point, which you were more than willing to help him work through. Outside of those moments, you had felt that your relationship with Bucky was near perfect.

So when he had come back from a mission and broke up with you, his only reason being ‘I can’t be with you,’ it’d been a slap to the face. Like someone had shoved a knife in your heart and twisted.

The worst part was that he wouldn’t even allow you the chance to talk to him afterwards. Every time you were in the same room together alone, he’d find every reason not to speak with you.

So, you’d taken the hint and were now trying to figure out a way to move on.

That was made a little easier when a certain God of Thunder made his interest known to you. Thor was sweet, charming, and a little goofy. Not to mention handsome, with his blonde hair and sky blue eyes.

He’d made an effort to woo you not long after you’d parted from Bucky, and you’d informed him that the breakup was hard for you and that you couldn’t really do something new right now. Thor had been surprisingly understanding, and even took to just being friends quite well. Granted, he was still flirty, but he knew where you both stood and was always happy to lend an ear when you needed one.

He turned out to be just the friend you needed.

From the outside looking in, none of the others thought it was ‘just friends,’ especially when Thor would openly show his interest in you. Especially to a certain Super Soldier.

Bucky was painfully aware of what was going on between you and Thor even though he desperately tried not to be.

His super hearing picked up on the soft laughter you and the god would share, on the hushed whispers you’d exchange late over a mug of coffee when you thought everyone was asleep. His every fiber was attuned to you, and he couldn’t help but fixate on your presence.

You were like gravity to him, and he always found himself near you when he knew he should be as far as humanly possible. He saw the little looks you shared when Thor would compliment you, noticed your shy smile when the god would enter the room. He could tell that Thor was winning you over slowly but surely.

He couldn’t fucking stand it.

So it wasn’t a big surprise when he shipped off on the next mission possible.

You worried, your heart still set on loving him, but you tried to pay it little mind. And after a few days, it actually helped. You felt better, found yourself smiling more. You were beginning to move forward.

That was, until the jet was reported missing. Then Bucky was all anyone could talk about in the tower.

Thor tried his best to keep you in the dark about most of what was going on, and it wasn’t hard seeing as you were just a rather good strategist and not a serious Avenger. You were only really included in skimming over preplanned attacks and making sure they hadn’t missed anything critical.

But word still spread, and worry was ever present.

Needless to say, it was very strange when Mr. Stark called you into a private meeting with himself and two other of the elite team.

“Y/N,” He spoke softly in the kind of tone that lets you know that whatever he says next is going to ruin your whole week. “There’s a situation with Barnes.”

You frowned, eyebrows scrunching at him from where you sat at the rather empty end of the long black table. “I’m confused. Bucky and I broke up months ago. Why are you talking to me about it?”

Steve, who you’d befriended while dating his best pal, looked at you with poorly concealed pity from his seat next to Stark. “Because we know he still means a lot to you and that you’re our best hope in this situation.”

That didn’t make you feel better about whatever was going on at all. “What do you mean ‘this situation?’” You eyed them both, before dragging your eyes over to Doctor Banner who hadn’t done much more than stare at you with a concerned expression bordering on panic.

Stark pressed his fingers to his forehead, “Barnes got triggered on his mission and has infiltrated the tower. We have reason to believe he’s after you.”

You gaped at him. That didn’t make any sense. You weren’t important, at least not as important as one of The Avengers. “Me? Why me?”

“We’ve silently shut the building down and we’re working on evacuating the floors without anyone freaking out.” Tony went on, ignoring your questions, “He doesn’t know that we’re aware he’s here, and we’re trying to keep it that way.” Tony motioned towards a monitor, and the image of Bucky popped up on the screen.

Only he was in your room, and he was dragging his fingers over the picture of the two of you that was perched on the nightstand. They way his fingers smoothed over the glass, the slight pinch in his brows as if calculating instead of recalling. It was like he’d never seen it before in his life. Like he had no connection to the image of himself.

It was a picture he had taken, his arm extended and a smile on his face with your lips pressed to his cheek. You had meant to take it down and stuff it in the box under your bed with all the other memories you had hid from sight, but it was just too painful. You needed something to hold onto.

You watched through the screen as he moved around your room, taking note of certain things and taking careful precautions to ensure that anything he moved was set right back in place. It was eerie to watch a man who was once so comfortable in your space tread with so much hesitance. Like it was the first time he’d been in the space all over again.

“Y/N.” It was Steve’s gentle timbre that brought your attention away from the screen this time. He tried to smile, though it was clearly forced. “We need you to lure him down towards the lower levels. We have to get him to a room where we can better contain him. If he finds out we know he’s back and not… him, then he could snap.”

“You want to use me as bait? For the Winter Soldier?” You stared at them both with wide eyes, panic blooming in your chest. “This is insane!”

Steve sighed, “Y/N… Bucky told me about the incident that happened in the beginning of your relationship.”

Your attention zeroed in on the blonde’s words, your breath hitching.

“He told me what could’ve happened… and what didn’t.”

You walked down the corridor of the Stark tower office floor heading back towards your desk from a late night research meeting with a few of your coworkers. You had decided to stay later than the others so that you could collect and organize the information you needed for the meeting with Mr. Stark the following morning. It was very late, and you were tired, the heels you wore had begun to irritate the soles of your feet hours before.

You clutched the files you collected in your arms, heels clicking on the glossy floors and echoing into the dimly lit corridor. So dim that you didn't see the silhouette of the man standing just feet from you until it was too late.

You only saw a flash of silver before the door beside you was torn open and you were roughly shoved inside. Cleaning supplies clattered onto the floor, spilling liquids over your feet as you cried out. A hand clamped over your mouth, and your head hit the wall with a thunk.

Stormy blue eyes stared at you, cold and unfeeling. Eyes you had seen just days before smiling at you and filled with life.

Your lips moved to say his name against the cool metal of his hand, but his grip on your face was nearly bruising. You could only stare back in fear and attempt to press your body further from him.

He didn't speak, only stared at you and kicked the door to the closet shut.

Fear was a living thing in your stomach, writhing as his eyes snaked down to your red heels and back up again. His head tilted to the side, as if he was trying to remember something. But his eyes remained cold and unrelentingly empty. His flesh hand came up to press a finger threateningly to his lips.

‘Quiet.’

You weren't stupid enough to scream, not with the way he was looking at you, with how close he was. When he removed his hand, you did exactly as he wanted. Silence hung in the small closet, suffocating you. Would he kill you? What did he want? Why hadn't he killed you already?

The cool metal of his palm slipped further down, wrapping around your throat and pressing against your thundering pulse. Your head pounded along with it, and a foggy feeling settled over your mind.

But your lungs still filled with air, and you remained aware. The pressure of his hand was ever present, but it was light enough not to cause real damage... Almost like he didn't want to hurt you.

His tongue darted out to lick his lips, the movement catching your eyes. His body leaned forward, his nose pressing into your neck and his warm breath hitting your skin. Goosebumps rose in its wake, and that lick of fear heightened again. He was acting so strangely, and the longer it went on the more unsettling it was.

When he pulled away, there was a heat in his eyes that wasn’t there before. A hunger, and… and recognition.

“Hello, Beloved.”

“We know that he didn’t hurt you, and that he displayed… certain feelings towards you.” Steve’s voice brought you out of the memory, dragging you back to the reality at hand.

The one where he wants you to put yourself smack dab in the path of the Winter Soldier.

“You’re serious about this?” You blink up at him, trying to gauge if he was joking or not. Level headed as Steve was, you trusted him with your life. But this? This was terrifying and completely unexpected. Ridiculously dangerous.

“It’s the only nonviolent way we can think of. And we’re almost certain there’s no high risk for you.” Steve tried to give you a reassuring smile, tried to hide the hint of unease that shone in his tense shoulders.

“You’ve all lost your mind.” You laugh, sighing and raising your chin. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

Apparently, so had you.

You stared at the metal doors of the elevator, your heart pounding with each toll of the floors passing. This was probably—no, was— the riskiest thing you’d ever done in your life. You trusted Steve and Mr. Stark, but your brain was trained to find the flaws in plans like this. And so many things could go wrong.

“It’s okay, Y/N.” Steve said calmly into your ear, startling you. You’d forgotten they’d given you the earpiece. “I’ll be here the entire time. I’ll guide you through the compound and make sure you stay out of danger.”

You nodded, even though you weren’t sure if they could see you.

“Bucky is leaving your room. We’re going to drop you off in the commons area of your floor. All you have to do is make some noise and then head for the stairwell. Just listen to me, and I’ll get you through this.” Steve sounded so confident in your ear, but it did little to soothe the nerves.

The elevator leveled out, and the doors quietly opened. The large living room opened up before you, unnervingly bright and welcoming despite the danger you knew lurked just down the hall. You stepped out onto the carpet, walking towards the kitchen. Your palms sweat, heart pounding, as you made your way up to the cabinets.

You just had to make some noise. Easy, right?

But your body wouldn’t move.

“Y/N.” Steve’s voice called in your ear again, gently coaxing you from where he watched the cameras. “Make some noise, and then head for the stairs.”

You swallowed, nodding again, and reached with shaky hands towards the cabinet. You grabbed a bowl, and hesitantly set it down on the granite counter. The echoing pok of the ceramic felt too loud in your ears, like a gunshot.

“Good, now move quickly. He’s just down the hall headed your way.”

The words sent a chill down your spine… and something else followed. Something you’d never felt before.

You headed towards the stairs, but your feet felt like lead weights. Like you couldn’t move fast enough even though you knew you were going as fast as you could.

But you could hear the faintest scuff of boots coming behind you and the sound sent your heart into a frenzy.

You raced down the stairs, tripping a few times before righting yourself and continuing your decent down towards the lower levels. Your floor was four levels up from ground level, which meant you had six floors in total to descend before you could get to the containment floor.

Six flights of stairs being chased by The Winter Soldier. A superhuman man who was definitely faster than you, and probably wanted to do something terrible to you. Like a wolf hunting a sheep.

Oh God.

The thought only served to spur the panic rising in you. You kicked up your speed when the door slammed behind you, footsteps pounding after you as the dark silhouette of Bucky Barnes rounded the stairs two flights above.

He took the stairs four at a time, his long legs swallowing up the distance between you. The panic clawed its way up your throat in a strangled cry, and the sound just seemed to quicken his pace.

“I’m not fast enough!” You tried to keep your voice even, tried to keep it quiet in the echoing stairwell so that the soldier behind you would hear.

“You’re almost there, Y/N. Just keep up the pace. Two flights left and—“ but he didn’t get to finish his sentence.

You watched in shocked horror as Bucky’s figure leapt over the railing and plummeted towards the ground. He dropped several flights before his arm snapped out and wrapped around the railing. The sound of metal hitting metal rang out around you as the railing dipped under the crushing pressure.

He hauled himself back onto the stairs just before you. Those cold eyes found yours, dark hair framing sharp features, painting him into something primal. Something wild.

That feeling pounded through you again, skittering along your spine and raising the hairs on the back of your neck. You still couldn’t place it, not with him stepping towards you with a look that promised violence.

You heard Steve’s voice ordering something over the earpiece, but it was distant. It became clearer a moment later. “We’ve got a team heading in. Just… just hang in there.”

You swallowed, but your throat had gone dry in the presence of the assassin before you. His eyes held you in place as his towering form finally stopped a stair below you, leveling with you face to face. So close you could count the stitches in the Kevlar of his suit.

You felt your body shaking, heard your heart thundering in your ears as your chest rose and fell with each short breath you managed to drag into your lungs.

And he watched every move you made.

His head titled to the side exactly like it’d done the first time you’d been trapped with him. His gaze never left you, eyes wandering over your face and heaving chest before that faint look of recognition settled into those hollow eyes.

And then that heat you’d seen before consumed them.

He stepped forward, and you answered with a step back. For each one he took, you pedaled backwards until your body was plastered against the wall. When you tried to flee back up the stairs, his metal hand planted itself against the wall inches from your head.

You were utterly trapped.

Rough Russian left his lips in the softest whisper. The sound was the same as you’d heart him say before, though you didn’t understand it.

Not until now, as the earpiece Steve had given you translated his words as he spoke them.

“Hello again, Beloved.”

Those blue eyes bored into yours, as his other hand came up to brush your cheek with a gentleness you didn’t think he was capable of.

“He’s kept me from you for so long.” Bucky’s body leaned forward, caging you against the wall. His metal hand remained pressed against the wall beside you, and the other dragged across the skin of your neck and shoulder in an almost reverent manner.

Bucky’s— no, this wasn’t Bucky. This was the part of Bucky he kept farthest from you. This was a man known for cruel, unimaginable violence. An assassin known by reputation around the world by both hero and criminal alike and feared by all. This was the Winter Soldier.

Winters lips brushed your jaw, stubble tickling the column of your throat as his voice rumbled against your skin. “Kept you to himself. Never let me touch you. Worried I’d damage you, Beloved. Couldn’t see you needed me.”

His teeth nipped at your skin, and a shiver rolled down your spine in answer. That feeling tugged at your mind again, spurred by his words. But still, you couldn’t place it. Not with your mind consumed by his statements and barely contained yearning.

When his head lifted to find your eyes again, the fingers of his right hand tangled themselves in your hair and pulled hard enough to have your scalp stinging. His next words were guttural and biting, “And then he let you go.”

Winters grip loosened a bit, but his hold on your hair remained. “He pushed you away, and then that god tries to take you from me?” His eyes held you, demanding your utter attention as his head shook slowly, “You don’t belong to him.”

Tugging your lip between your teeth, you clenched your eyes shut. God, you wished Bucky would say that to you. Having Winter here saying these words with Bucky’s voice, Bucky’s face. Touching you with familiar hands…

Heat had begun to pool low in your belly.

The words were spoken in English. “Open your eyes.”

There was no room for objection in his voice, so you did as he said. With his jaw was set in an angry line, and those blue eyes boring into your soul, he leaned in closer. “He thinks that being with you is too dangerous, that you aren’t safe with… with us.”

“What?” Your heart hammered in your chest at his words. It was the first real reason as to why Bucky had broken up with you.

Those silvery blue eyes zeroed on your lips as he spoke again. “He thinks we can’t protect you, that I’ll hurt you. That somehow being further from you keeps you safe from what comes with being what we are.” His metal hand left the wall in favor of brushing over your lower lip and trailing the cool tips of his fingers down to the dip of your breasts and back up to the column of your throat. “I’d never hurt you, not the way he has. Not if you didn’t want it.”

“W-what do you mean?” You just knew he was picking up on how your heart beat harder as his fingers trailed over your skin. Or the way you kept shifting on your feet to stave off the heat thrumming in your veins with an all too familiar want blooming and begging for his hands to explore more.

The faintest hint of a smile graced his face as he gave your hair another gentle tug, then loosened his grip once more. “You like this. I’ve seen how you react with him. How you quietly treasure the marks he leaves on your skin even when he feels nothing but guilt.” That metal hand slipped over your throat again and pressed on your neck exactly as he’d done the first time you’d seen Winter. Your head spun at the pressure, but you could breathe easily under the cool press of his palm as he leaned in, lips brushing your ear as he whispered. “I see how badly you wish he’d touch you with this hand,” he squeezed your neck and loosened it quickly, “How badly you want those marks. How badly you need me.”

You had no words. Nothing to say as he wrung out the truth you’d thought was hidden from him— from Bucky.

Bucky was notorious for avoiding any situation that would make him use the metal arm. He would much rather let it hang there, or act as if he didn’t have it at all. That included when the two of you would get intimate. He never dared to bring it anywhere near you no matter how many times you’d reminded him it was fine, that you weren’t afraid of it. He outright refused to allow it to touch your delicate skin, to let such a catalyst for agony so close to something as precious as you.

Winter knew that you’d secretly craved to feel the cold metal in contrast to his warm skin when he held you. He knew that you would always find it more satisfying when Bucky would lose himself and get rough with you when things got heated. How his flesh hand would leave bruises on your thighs or hips to keep you steady as he thrust himself deeper.

Just the thought had you aching, and here was Bucky’s darker half offering you everything you’d ever wanted.

You were losing your fucking mind.

“You’re wrong,” you whispered, but the words were flimsy and meaningless. He knew the truth, but that didn’t mean you had to say it aloud.

His metal fingers dug into your jaw, his grip near bruising as he tilted your head up to level your eyes with his. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Dollface.” His lips were a hairs-width away, his warm breath fanning over your face.

The scent of him was intoxicating, muddling your mind even further with heady leather and metal invading your nose. The hint of that aftershave you’d missed so much since Bucky broke your heart.

Winter was tearing you apart at the seams.

“Please,” you whispered. Please what? You didn’t know. You could hardly think straight. That feeling was so strong, thrumming along with your pulse and the ache for something. Anything.

“Tell me I’m right.” He mumbled against your skin. Soft lips, a vast contrast to his rough demeanor, to the calloused hand that remained tangled in your hair, trailed down your cheek. “Tell me that you want me. Not the pathetic excuse for a god, or him. That you want me.”

His metal hand released your face, drifting over your neck and dragging over the left side of your chest. He circled once, thumbing over your nipple with a knowing look filled with every sinful promise known to man.

And then he went lower and lower…

His fingers caught the waistband of your leggings, the chill of his fingers raised goosebumps across your stomach, only serving to worsen that burning need.

“Doll,” a command and a question wrapped in one word.

All you had to do was admit your darkest most guarded secret. Confess, and he would give you what you wanted most. What Bucky was too afraid to do.

You opened your mouth, the words tumbling out as he gave your hair another tug.

“I want you.”

That smirk grew just a fraction more, his fingers slipping past your waistband and toying with the hem of your panties.

Fuck, did you wish you’d gone commando today.

“Who am I?” He asked, teeth nipping down your neck hard enough to know they’d leave marks. “I want you to say it, Y/N.”

Those fingers slipped further, rolling over your aching clit in a teasing stroke before he pulled them away again.

If he wasn’t a literal assassin, you’d consider strangling him.

“For fucks sake,” you gripped his arm, your voice unfamiliar in your own ears, ragged and broken. “Winter, please.”

He didn’t waste time, deft, cool fingers dipping into your core with confidence. Soothing that aching heat.

Fuck.

His thumb circled slow as he pumped his fingers, his mouth leaving wet kisses along your jaw up to your lips where he paused long enough to catch a glimpse of your face. You knew you looked like an utter mess, but those blue eyes showed nothing but twisted delight. He leaned forward and tugged your bottom lip between his teeth, bitting hard enough to make you groan.

Winter’s answering grunt of approval urged you further towards the edge of oblivion those perfect metal fingers were working you towards.

God you were so close. Each movement, every touch and bruise he left on your skin pushing you closer and closer. Just a bit more, a fraction more and you’d—

His fingers wrenched away, gone in an instant.

Your eyes, closed from the pleasure just moments ago, snapped open just before the doors to the stairway above and below you burst open. Floods of agents filed through the doors, and a gun fired.

The sharp sound echoed in the confined space making you flinch. Winters back pressed you against the wall, a solid shield of muscle keeping you out of harms way.

Then the weight was too heavy. His body crushing you as he slumped toward the floor. You screamed, immediately thinking the worse as your eyes searched his form in a panic.

But you found no blood, thank God.

“He’s fine, Y/N.”

Steve’s hand on your shoulder had you flinching back, head snapping to his suit clad form. “The gun—“

“It’s just a tranq. I promise, Bucky will be fine.” His face was the picture of practiced reassurance.

A horde of agents rushed forward and cuffed Winters hands and dragged his unconscious body out of the stairwell and further towards the confinement room. Steve remained with you, his eyes flicking to your neck a few times and checking you over to make sure no serious damage had been done.

When you’d gotten yourself back to your room away from the prying eyes and the relentless questions, the reality of what had happened slammed into you.

You just let the Winter Soldier finger you in a fucking stairwell.

And you liked it.

Plunging your fingers into your hair, you took a shaky breath. What the fuck were you thinking? Had you lost your damn mind? Bucky broke up with you three months ago! You were done; over, moving on. He could remember this, for Christ sake! How would you explain it?

Panic writhed in your stomach, but so did the faint ache of need that reminded you of what had just happened mere minutes ago.

The feeling of his metal hand on your skin, the feeling of those fingers working you perfectly and the pressure of his bruising grip.

And that feeling that you couldn’t place.

But now you had a word for it.

From the thrum of your heart as he chased you down the stairs, the promise of violence and sinful pleasure in his eyes. The roughness of his actions…

It was the thrill.

You liked the chase. You liked how rough he was. The delicious blend of panic and pleasure.

And he’d been interrupted before you got the release you’d craved. That you needed.

Frustration boiled to the forefront of your mind, a dozen different strategies with it.

He’d made you confess your darkest secret only to leave you high and dry.

And damn him if he wasn’t going to finish what he started.

[redrose10]

oh pleaaaase i think this would hit!

Can you pretty please do-about the prompt game-

au!12 neighbors not really neighbors (like, funnily they meet ever single time at the same local 7eleven or supermarket idk, they live on the same block, trope 9, first 49 with 66 and then 28,15 last 33 (66 and all last three nsfw) with Nam or Jin whoever you like. Could you pls add reader is like short height? THANK YOUUUUU take care xx

I hope this is what you were looking for and you like it!

< The Cookie Jar >

Warnings: Swearing, Smut

Neighbors, Stranger to Lovers

#49 “I need some assistance here.”

#66 “That’s illegal.”

#28 “We can’t do that here!”

#15 “Well fine just this once.”

#33 “Oh kitten…you’ve really never done this before?”

*******************************************************

“Eggs, flour, butter…eggs, flour, butter…eggs, flour, butter.”

You were repeating this to yourself over and over hoping that you wouldn’t forget anything. It was late and you were exhausted and just wanted to get home to have some dinner and relax, but you were required to be an adult first and get some groceries since it was your turn to bring cookies for your jobs weekly cookie jar. It was a dumb thing that management came up with to try and boost morale because that made more sense to them than just giving everyone a raise or some extra time off. Either way it was mandatory and not something you could get out of without ending up in a meeting with HR.

Normally you would just buy premade cookies but your boss informed you that it wasn’t fair to the others that actually took the time to make the cookies homemade so you had to stop.

You weren’t in any mood to play Betty Crocker so you were making a simple Snickerdoodle that only needed a few ingredients and you hoped you could just remember all of them before you walked out of the store.

Groaning when you saw the price of the butter you stared at your options hoping to find something on sale or with a coupon.

“This is a really good brand.”, a deep voice spoke slightly startling you. The man was pointing at a random box of butter.

“Is it?”, you chuckled, “I have to make cookies for work, but didn’t expect butter to cost me to promise my first born child.”

The man laughed, giving you the first glimpse of his beautiful smile with dimples included.

“Yeah I’m not much of a baker myself, but I’ve heard my mom complain quite a bit about how the prices are insane.”

“Glad I’m not the only one then.”, you laughed.

He reached down and grabbed one of the cartons of butter and handed it to you.”, She uses this one and I can confirm she makes the best cookies every time.”

You placed the carton in your cart., “I mean…I think you might be a little biased but I’ll take your word for it.” He chuckled and gave you a smile before walking away towards the registers. You spent the rest of the evening thinking about the handsome stranger whose name you didn’t even know.

“Stupid job, stupid cookies, stupid boss, stupid Hobi, stupid stupid stupid.”, you grumbled as you picked up a shopping basket. It was once again your turn to bring cookies for the dreaded cookie jar. Thanks to your coworker Hobi abruptly quitting it was also your turn a week sooner than you had planned. Luckily you had most of the ingredients from last time still sitting in your pantry. All you needed were chocolate chips and sugar.

After you grabbed your two items you decided to stop in the prepared foods section to get something for dinner to make it easier on yourself. You were so deep in thought trying to decide between the sesame noodles or the chicken teriyaki that you didn’t even notice someone standing next to you until they spoke, “Get the sesame noodles. The teriyaki tastes weird.”

You looked up to see the same guy from a few weeks ago walking past you, dimples once again on display. By the time your brain registered what happened and that you should go after him to finally get his name he was already walking out of the store. You grabbed the noodles and headed for the exit so you could finally go home to sulk while you baked some chocolate chip cookies.

You actually enjoyed baking when it was on your own terms and you didn’t have to hear the office go on and on about how amazing the cookies that Jin brought are, because his wife owns a bakery so OF COURSE they’re going to be amazing.

So when your best friend asked you make her favorite chocolate cake and come over with a tub of ice cream after her boyfriend dumped her, you didn’t even think twice.

The cake was sliding from side to side and the ice cream was already melting and you regretted grabbing those two bottles of wine because they were heavier than you thought so you were very glad that your friend lives just a three minute walk down the street from you.

You were trying to punch in the code to unlock the door when you heard a very familiar voice making your heart skip a beat.

“Looks like you’ve upgraded from cookies to cake huh?”

You were standing speechless staring at the beautiful man you somehow keep running into.

Just then your friend opened the door hearing the voices outside, “There you are! Oh hey Joonie! Hi Yoongs and Kook.”

It wasn’t until then did you realize there were two other guys standing off to the side and they were almost as handsome as “Joonie”. It made you question what they were putting in the water at this apartment complex.

“Joonie?”, you questioned with a brow raise.

He chuckled, “Yeah sorry about that. We’ve never been introduced. I’m Namjoon and those are my roommates Yoongi and Jungkook.”

You gave a small wave before turning your attention back to Namjoon so you could introduce yourself, “Y/N.”

Somehow or another you and your friend were invited over to Namjoon’s for pizza and drinks. It was all kind of a blur and you were too focused on finally getting to know the guy you’ve been crushing on for a while.

At some point the wine had become too much so you went to stand out on the balcony and get some fresh air. After a little while you started to sober up and feel much better. The door slid open and out came Namjoon. He smiled handing you a soft blanket and took a seat next to you. It seemed like he was sobering up at well.

“I’m sorry I never properly introduced myself. It was like my brain melted every time I saw you.”, he chuckled. “It’s okay. My brain didn’t seem to want to function either.”

A slight breeze moved through the air causing you to shiver. Namjoon moved a little closer wrapping his arm around you to help shield you from the wind.

You took the time to look him over but it was like he had the same idea as he was already staring at you and beginning to lean in which you reciprocated.

One kiss turned into two turned into soft moans and hands exploring each others body.

“Do you want to take this further?”, he asked pulling away.

You did. You figured you could make it to your place in less than five minutes or maybe even his room, but could hear a karaoke session going on inside so you knew everyone was still awake and would definitely know what was going on if you two walked back to his room. But it was something you were willing to deal with later.

“Yeah let’s do it.”, you nodded.

You squealed in surprise when he started unbuttoning your shirt. He struggled with the third button. “I need some assistance here.”, he laughed trying to hide his frustration.

“Namjoon, we can’t do that here!”, you exclaimed feeling your entire body flush at the thought.

He surprisingly pouted, “Why not?”

“Well for one thing, It’s illegal. We’re out in the open. People could see us.”

“It’s only illegal if we get caught and who’s gonna see? It’s like 2am. Everyone around here is already asleep or not even home.”

He had a point, but you were still unsure. The last thing you needed was a criminal charge on your record, but one look at his growing bulge had your mind going hazy with want.

“Look baby.”, he said in his deep raspy voice that wasn’t making it any easier for you to say no. He continued, “Y/N I won’t make you do anything you’re not comfortable with so we can end it here or we can go as far as you’d like but if we go in there we’ll have to walk past all of them and they’ll definitely know what we’re doing. It’s up to you.”

You loved that he was so willing to do what made you comfortable. Most guys would’ve already up and left if you hadn’t agreed immediately so the fact that he was still there and talking you through it made you want to give into him even more.

“I just…I’ve never done anything like this before…out in the open like this.”, you added the last part quickly to make sure he knew you weren’t a virgin, you just weren’t normally into public sex.

“That’s okay. Like I said whatever you want.”, he whispered giving you a comforting smile.

You swallowed thickly before nodding, “Well fine, just this once. What’s the worst that could happen?”

His lips connected back to yours as he nodded, “I can deal with that.”

Feeling suddenly brave you climbed over taking a seat on his lap. You continued your movements by placing kisses beginning at his jaw and moving down to his neck and then chest.

He finished undoing the buttons of your shirt before helping you slide the material off. Your bra followed soon after. The cold air immediately causing your nipples to pebble and Namjoon wasted no time attaching his mouth to one. The sensation causing you to moan louder than you had intended. Your hand quickly covered your mouth as Namjoon smirked still sucking at your breast. You continued to move your hips using the friction to help provide some relief.

“Y/N.”, Namjoon groaned as you hit a particularly good spot. You thought you had heard a door open causing you to freeze worried that someone had heard the two of you.

“Oh kitten…you’ve really never done this before?”, he asked after noticing your skin turn reddish and your still unsure movements.

“No.”, you shook your head feeling a little embarrassed.

“That’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. Want me to walk you through it? Will that help ease your nerves?”

You nodded thankful that he was willing to take charge.

“Okay.”, he kissed you, “Get down on your knees in front of me.”

You did as he said. The balcony was small with not a lot of room to navigate but thanks to your shorter height you were able to snuggle in and fit in-front of him with ease. Your hands placed on his thighs as you waited for his next instructions.

“Now undo my belt…unzip my pants.”

You did as he said hoping he couldn’t see the very slight shake into your hands.

“That’s it baby girl. Now take my cock out… nice and slow.”

The sheer girth shocked you. He was hot and heavy in your hand. Your mouth began to drool, something no other man had ever made you do in this position.

“I know…I know. But you can handle it. Now go ahead and lick.”

You gave a few kitten licks to the tip making sure to lap up the beads of precum as they formed.

“Tha-That’s it baby. F-Fuck yeah. Go ahead and take it all in.”

He was already such a mess for you that it turned you on to a level you had never been. Your arousal was soaking through your panties to the point it was uncomfortable. You started to run your tongue from his base to tip before moving up again to suck him off like your life depended on it.

The sounds he was making increased your confidence and suddenly the prospect of getting caught didn’t seem so scary.

You focused your attention back to Namjoon giving his balls a light squeeze before swirling your tongue around his tip. You jumped a little when you felt his hand reach down and cradle one of your breast giving your nipple a light tug, “Mmmm Y/N. You’re doing so well kitten.” He leaned down and kissed your mouth savoring the taste of himself on your lips before he leaned back and you moved down to continue your bobbing up and down on his length.

Namjoon grabbed a hand full of your hair and pushed you down on his cock making you gag. His head rolled against the chair as he felt his tip hit the back of your throat.

“Is…is that okay?”, he asked through gasps. He pulled his hand away feeling guilty for not checking with your first. You didn’t want to stop so you took his hand and placed it at the back of your head giving him your silent approval to do it again. He gently, but firmly began to thrust into your mouth as you widened your jaw as much as you could allowing him to use you for his own pleasure, enjoying the way he nearly growled every time he got you to gag on him.

“I’m close Y/N. Fuck I’m close. Wh-where do you want it?”

“Tits…tits.”, you scrambled to say panting and drooling and barely able to form a coherent thought.

You moved your attention back to his length once again licking up and down before wrapping your mouth around him determined to bring him to his orgasm. He was close. You could feel his thighs tensing under your hands. A few beads of sweat were running down his forehead even though the weather was cool. His thrusts into your mouth became more and more erratic.

He said your name in a long drawn out moan before swiftly moving you off of him and rapidly jerking himself off with his right hand as his left hand came down to squeeze your breast.

“O-Okay. I’m coming.”, he gritted at his body began to shake.

You leaned closer squeezing your breasts together and watched as the the warm white liquid shot out before collecting in your cleavage.

Namjoon sat back trying to catch his breath before helping you up off of the ground.

“Y/N that was…wow that was unbelievable.”, he huffed using the blanket to help clean you up, “If you…uh if you want to lay down I’d be more than appy to return the favor.”

You smiled at the hint of shyness in his voice because where did the confident, in control man from a few minutes ago go.

“Actually…”, you shook your head, “If you want…my place is just a couple minute walk from here. We could head over there.” After that display you wanted him fully inside of you and you wanted to savor the moment and to take your time. You’re apartment was the best place for that.

His eyebrows lifted up in surprise before he laughed, “Well I wish I would have known that from the start. We could’ve just went there.” You both giggled at the realization before grabbing your things to walk over to your place completely forgetting that there were a group of people in the living room.

“Hey where are you guys going?”, your friends asked when they finally noticed the two of you heading to the door.

You panicked trying to come up with an excuse so that they wouldn’t know you two were going to have sex. Looking around the room your eyes caught sight of the half eaten cake on the counter.

“Cookies! Namjoon really wants to try some of my cookies so we’re gonna head over to my place so I can get some baked up.”

“That’s not fair. I want cookies too.”, Jungkook pouted as he waited for the next round of his game to load.

“They’re not making cookies you idiot. They’re going to have sex.”, Yoongi snorted not even looking up from his phone.

You could feel your body burn up and Namjoon didn’t seem to be fairing much better judging by his pink cheeks.

You said goodbye before quickly shuffling Namjoon out the door so they couldn’t ask any more questions.

“You know…cookies actually sound pretty good right now.”, he smiled as you were walking towards your apartment.

“Well luckily for you I have a cookie jar always stocked.”, you laughed opening your door.

He leaned down to capture you in a kiss and pushing you inside, “Is that so? Well then I’d definitely like to get a taste.”

“You’re welcome to my cookie jar any time.”

[transient-winds]

OKAY Y'ALL BUT WTF WAS THIS CHAPTER IM BAWLING MY EYES OUT AS IM TYPING SO EXCUSE THE TYPOS.

(this is very much a "ume thanking sakura again" breakdown and also me crying about class 1-1 being the best people in the world wthhh)

Spoilers for Wind Breaker Chapter 162 Ahead!

THE TITLE?!?! THE TITLE.

"Everyone's Feelings"

Going into it went "oop this gonna make me cry at the end" and I STILL AM. THESE TEARS ARE FOR SAKURA AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO FEELS A LOT FOR SAKURA.

I was so prepared for things to end last chapter, NOPE, turns out there was MORE. *tumbles off of my chair*

Roppo Ichiza & Gravel are not at all subtle in trying to poach (not actually but in my eyes this is what i sees) Sakura via gaming like catnip and I'm oh so down for that what. Quality time with the allies y'all, I just love the comraderie!! Sakura is collecting so many big brother figures like they're pokemon. The best one is obviously Suzuri, no questions ask ("but Ume claimed him first-" HUSH DEARS WE ARE LETTING SUZURI TAKE THE SPOTLIGHT).

Ofc Suo ever the shit stirrer but we get an amazing look at Sakura's stompy stomp!!

My thoughts on Umemiya and Sakura's moment post-Noroshi:

Umemiya thanking Sakura again but this time for reaching out to their allies is such a beautiful moment!!

I understand why Ume never thought about asking for help because the man has been burdening himself with so much responsibilities. He saw the fight with Noroshi, or rather HIS fight with Takiishi, as HIS responsibility and everyone else involved were collateral to the consequences of his "failures" (i.e. not being able to defeat Takiishi sooner). His mind was clouded with so much pressure over what he has to do to maintain the peace he helped build in Makochi that it limited his vision, feeling like he can only rely on people within reach (Bofurin). It didn't help that Ume and his kings continually treating and referring to Noroshi as THEIR shadows and THEIR past, thus THEIR problem so its no wonder that same sentiment ripple down to everyone else in Furin too. Everyone except Sakura that is.

Sure, an argument can be made that had things not gone over well with Shishitoren and Gravel, there wouldn't be any allies to ask help from but I'd counter-argue that Roppo Ichiza was already an established ally of Furin. If Sakura hadn't been there and the battle of Noroshi was still set in motion, I wholeheartedly believe that Bofurin wouldn't have reached out to them at all. This is because of their conditioned mindset of not having anyone but each other (in Furin) dealing with the problems that threaten their town. Makochi residents are so used to dealing with things internally.

Sakura—who's new in town, had begun the process of learning to rely on people and was traumatized by his recklessness during the KEEL arc—had no such limitation or mindset and that's why only he had the thought of asking aid from their allies. Only he was able to think of the bigger picture in this situation. Expecting Noroshi to have an army? Well let's get an army of our own too! Especially when he knows the strengths of his allies so it added to their defense and offense.

So yes! Sakura IS amazing and we should give him the biggest round of applause because he single handedly turned the tide on the battle by doing the one thing Chapter 1 Sakura wouldn't thought of doing: asking for help.

Which is why this panel hurts me so much. It hurts because he's already a shining presence similar to Ume and he did it just by being himself. I hope that later on, Sakura will recognizes that for himself too.

He doesn't have to be another Umemiya, he just needs to be the better him.

Hiragi says it best about what makes Sakura so captivating yet incredibly fragile and all of Class 1-1 understands this very well.

Someone needs to look out for Sakura because if they don't, he'll fall into the same mistakes and flawed mindset Umemiya had.

Every moment they had done leading up to the barbeque was most likely a part of that drive. The drive to be strong enough to help carry Sakura's current and future burdens so he wouldn't have to do it alone. And they'll continue to do so as long as they stand behind their beloved grade captain, their leader.

NII-SENSEI, WHAT GAVE YOU THE AUDACITY TO TUG ON MY HEARTSTRINGS LIKE THISSS. OMGGGG WTFFF. *wailing and sobbing pathetically in the corner*

—

Honorable (Silly) Mentions (because my heart is in pain and i need humor to mend it):

The Togasaku stare, Sakura's sixth sense for Togame looking at him is just hrk im dying. My heart is so full of affection for Sakura and then they add this??? At THE BEGINNING??? SIRS STOP MAKING EYES AT EACH OTHER!! Y'ALL MAKE ME SICK (with love)

Choji why are you so squishable, you absolute fiend. I love you reincarnation of the killer rabbit of Caerbannog!!

Kanuma, honey, you gotta stand up for yourself :(!! Suo's not even looking at you directly (or is he 👀)

—

I'm dead, deceased even. Nii-sensei, their team and the official english TL team have killed me and dumped my body in a river of my own tears. DECEASED I TELL YOU!! The biggest love sending their way because wow haha I've crying for the past hour.

Thank you for reading this post too, my usual bs spouting nonsense but emotional edition. Still I'm happy with how it turned out because I realized a lot of things on why Noroshi arc was so much more different than the previous battles, sharing the most similarities with KEEL in terms of how unprepared Furin was to face their opponents and winning had only been in their favor with the outside help. Which I also liked to think was partially where Sakura had came up with the idea thus fully learning his lesson on what it means to bear the responsibilities of a leader.

[mc-lukanette]

"Clear as a music note, sincere as a melody. You've been the song stuck in my head since the day we first met."

Luka meant every word of it. He hadn't known Marinette for long but he knew people. Whether one called it intuition, a sixth sense, or nothing more than a "feeling," he didn't care. Marinette was a special girl and anyone who didn't know didn't understand her. It was the way she talked, the way she laughed, and even the way she was constantly stumbling over herself because she cared so much about others.

He felt it in her designs and had seen the process himself, how she would sit in the same spot for hours until someone snapped her out of it. He wore his Kitty Section costume proudly because of it and swore that it made him play better, just by having a piece of her with him.

That was all he needed, as far as he was concerned. Whether she loved him or not was irrelevant, and he only confessed at all in the first place because he wanted to alleviate whatever doubts she'd had. He was just happy to know her and to be called her friend.

She looked so beautiful against the colorful stage lights too. Had he not needed to leave, he might've told her so. He only hoped she wouldn't run off to let them take all the credit if there were any interviews afterward. She was just as big a part of the band as he was.

He smiled and released her shoulder, turning around to face the stage where he was set to play with the others. He took one step, two steps—

and then his wrist was snagged, pulling him back. He tried to keep his balance, especially as another hand grabbed at his jacket to bring him downwards. Everything was happening too fast, his vision only able to register the blur that was Marinette's face coming towards him.

Heat flooded his system as her lips came into contact with his skin, just to the side of his mouth. She'd kissed him on the cheek before, but that had come off entirely friendly as opposed to the one she'd given him now.

"Worse" still was that he knew she'd missed her intended target in her rush, which was definitely not his cheek.

It was over too soon, but he registered the voices behind him calling him to the stage as Marinette let him go and pulled away. Despite the bold move, she looked away sheepishly and cleared her throat, her blush obvious even in the lighting.

"U-um... good luck?" she said, giving him a fluttery wave.

His shoes felt like they were filled with very selective lead, keeping him firmly in place unless he was moving towards her specifically. Alas, his bandmates were still calling and not going would've ruined all the effort Marinette had put into getting them to this point.

Thus, he turned - for real this time - and went to set up with the others.

—————

Luka somehow managed to concentrate throughout the entire performance. The nice thing about his Kitty Section mask was that he could look around freely without being noticed, particularly at the siren of a girl standing in the background watching his every move. Her fingers were steepled in front of her mouth, making it hard to gauge her exact expression, but her eyes never left his.

Each note he played felt like a pleasant shock through his body, a positive feedback loop that kept going throughout the whole song. It'd happened before when he was in a good mood, playing his feelings through the strings, but not like this.

Not after being kissed by the one he was in love with, and not on a stage where the energy surrounding him was so high. Whenever he turned to the other bandmates, they were staring at him in bewilderment, but not in any bad way. He wasn't overshadowing them or throwing off the song, he was just more of what was already there, and the stage crew was getting into it.

It was fantastic.

By the time everything was over and the recording was done, there was nothing stopping him anymore. He wordlessly passed his guitar to a confused Rose, then walked off the stage, past the crew, and past a reporter who had snuck in and was asking him questions he didn't bother listening to. He pushed his mask up and took a straight path directly towards Marinette, who was bouncing from the thrill of the moment.

"That was incredible, Luka!" she squealed. "It sounded even better than in the video! People are going to love it, I—"

He grabbed her face and kissed her. It momentarily occurred to him that he could've said something romantic like, "I only played so well because you were there," which was true, but kissing her the way she'd tried to kiss him seemed like a far more appropriate response to what she'd done.

It felt equivalent to getting to play a song she'd written just for him, which was almost a shame. Had he known she could've made noises like she was just by him kissing her, he would've suggested a different type of song for the music video.

There was a shriek in the background that was probably Rose, which he paid no mind to. He broke the kiss, but remained hunched over to Marinette's level, still holding her blushing face and cherishing the warmth against his palms.

"Did you love it?" he asked quietly, stroking her cheeks. "That's all I care about."

Her voice had raised an octave when she replied, "O-of course? I said it was incredible! I love you—it! A lot!"

She managed to fit her hands between his, covering her face with an embarrassed whine. He sighed blissfully, dropping his hands to wrap his arms around her and bury his face into her shoulder.

"I can't believe you tried to kiss me," he began, then added even though he could've left it at that, "right before I had to go on stage."

"Sorry," came the muffled apology behind her hands, though he smirked when he caught the hint of not actually being sorry in her voice. She returned his embrace, squeezing and shaking a little as she whispered, "I should've done it sooner."

When Luka had thought just a few minutes ago that he would've been perfectly happy just getting to know Marinette and be her friend, he meant it, but he wasn't about to complain about being thrice as perfectly happy either.