#they still didnt make enough to break even
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Streamer AU
Kenma x Fem!Reader
Kenma was busy talking to the chat as you sat still on his lap, looking pretty for the viewers. He was streaming some new game that came out, something you couldn't remember the name of.
You were staring at his monitor, spaced out as he rambled on. Kenya starts bouncing his leg, making you jolt as the vibrator inside you grazed a certain spot.
You gripped his desk, holding in your moan as he continued on like nothing happened. You could see him smirking from his face came, getting off to you, knowing you couldn't do anything without giving yourself away to chat.
"Someone in the chat says you should play while I read the comments." Your boyfriend suggests, his eyes focusing on you as you throb on top of him. You give him a pleading look, hoping he'd have mercy and let you off.
But you knew you boyfriend was a sadistic bastard who loved making you suffer.
With false enthusiasm you moved closer to his set up, ready to play for him. The phone that controlled the vibrator sat to the side, off camera but just in arms reach for Kenma.
He toned down the power for the beginning of stream, just a slight buzz inside you. Letting you and him get back to work playing as if it was a normal day.
But when you hit an especially hard boss fight, he grabbed the phone and made it reach it maximum vibration level. Causing you to moan out, not even giving you time to react. Your hands stuttered on the keyboard, missing the boss completely, making the chat go wild with groans and tips on how to win.
You could feel Kenma stifle a laugh behind you as he brought the energy back down. You gave it a few seconds, incase he did anything else. You apologized to chat, making excuses for the lose as you got back to playing.
Without missing a beat, Kenma reads out some comments as he slips his hand down your front. His long slender fingers flicking your clit, making you shudder. You tried scooting away from him but he just pressed down harder, making you bite your lip to stiffen your incoming squeal.
With the rising consistent vibrations inside you and his fingers playing with you, it was hard to concentrate on the game. While he was acting nonchalant as usual, not missing a beat as he read comment after comment.
Your slick was leaking onto Kenma's sweats, but he didnt mind. Scooping up a bit with his fingers he stuffed it back into you and went back to work, circling his fingers on you.
You wanted to cum badly, your small noises getting more consistent and he could tell you were getting needy. You unconsciously started grinding down on his thigh, trying to get more stimulation.
Kenma's voice getting slightly louder to drown out your moans and make his viewers focus on him. The game was already forgotten, swinging aimlessly and running directly into the boss. Your main focus was cumming.
Your boyfriend finally thought you've been through enough, and knew you were close to breaking.
He saved the game and focused on the camera, saying his outro and promising to speed run the game next stream. With a small smirk he stared at you, drowned out in pleasure as he told you to give your goodbye to the audience.
Trying to focus, you gave chat a big tired smile, your eyes blown out as you stared blankly into the screen. You barely got out a bye as Kenma bounced his leg directly under your pussy and put the vibrator on full speed.
Causing your eyes to roll back in pleasure as you moaned loudly, cum rolling down your thighs and soaking into your boyfriends.
Kenma cut the stream just before you orgasmed, letting you have that little bit of privacy. Not that you knew that.
#haikyuu#kozume kenma#kenma x reader#kenma kozume#nekoma#kenma smut#streamer kenma#adult kenma#smut#haikyuu smut#kenma x you#kenma x y/n#kenma x fem!reader#fem!reader#x reader#haikyuu x reader
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*tw!!! daddy kink!!! + a lotttt of size kink stuff!!! fem bodied reader*
I know he gets such a like…almost ‘selfish lover’ rep but in my humble daddy issue biased opinion, toji would 100% talk you through it like…
Everyone already finds him so intimidating, if not from his stature and general appearance, its his gruff voice and combative personality. He doesnt even mean to do it, he just always has that trademark scowl on his face that makes people afraid to say excuse me in grocery stores :(
Not you though, you still served him with your bright smile as he checked out of the store. You asked how he was and giggled at his flirty response of ‘why, ya wanna make my day better?’. I mean…other than his kids he never had people willingly make small talk with him, let alone laugh at his old man jokes.
Godddd he just gets so flustered when you look at him with your big doe eyes and say have a fantastic day :(
Thats why when he sees you on the dating app megumi downloaded for him (against his will), he feels his heart skip a beat. I just know he’s all nervous, thinking how dirty he is as a self proclaimed ‘old man’ finding such a pretty young thing attractive- i mean you could literally be his daughter. All these worried thoughts flitted through his head while he tried to decide, not realizing his thumb was just a littttttlllleeeee too close to the screen as he accidentally matched with you.
Oh.
Oh.
I mean it was an accident for him, but was it an accident for you? It couldnt be if you were texting him already, a message reading “hey there stranger :)” popping up on his phone.
And when you liked his simple response of “Hello.”, responding with “anything i can do to make your night better, toji?”, that couldnt just be a typo or misclick, right?
You made him feel like a teenager again, the butterflies he felt only becoming more intense when you asked him to come over n’ tell you in person :( he nearly jumped out of his skin trying to get ready, hands fumbling with that pinstripe button-up he’d been saving for something special (gumi’s grad or….i guess his first date in forever). It was only at times like this he wished he had someone to call to help him chill out.
Maybe after tonight that’d be you though? He hoped so at least, and even when you pulled him into your apartment, pushing him on the couch while he stuttered about getting to know each other first, he knew you were the girl for him.
It did take a while for him to actually get up to your speed- he didnt wanna break you or anything. You were just so, so desperate for him, tugging at his shirt while you grinded your clothed cunt against his beefy thighs, filthy words coming out of your mouth only making it harder for toji to take it slow with you.
“God you’re so big toji, feel like even jus’ your fingers can split me in half.”
“Couldn’t stop thinking about you, knew you’d treat me better than all the guys my age. Ya gonna fuck me right toji? Please?”
“C’mon toji…know you wanna breed me, bet it’ll only take one time for me to give you a baby. D’you want that daddy?”
It was no later you said that word that he was picking you up, throwing you onto the tiny mattress your studio apartment held. Yeah, he definitely wasnt getting out of this alive- but neither were you judging by the way his big hands began to unbuckle his belt, unzipping the pants you so graciously left a giant wet stain on, the outline of his cock in his boxers making your mouth water.
“See what ya do to me, pretty?” His deep voice spoke, one hand giving his throbbing dick a few much-needed strokes while he stared down at you like a wolf. “Nothin’ to say anymore, hm? C’mon, i liked hearing it all.”
He hadnt even pressed himself against you before you let out a whine, his hands resting themselves on your sides already being enough to make your hips jump. If it weren’t for the fact he was now intent on hearing more of those pretty sounds from you, he’d have let out a whine himself from how soft your skin felt against his worked hands. And when he slowly pulled your panties down your thighs, clenching his jaw at the sight of strands of wetness sticking to your pussy, he nearly came in his pants.
“Poor girl, bet this sweet pussy hasnt been treated right in forever hm?” The question nearly brought tears to your eyes, both from the truth of it and from the fact he began to thumb at your glistening cunt, the rough pad of his finger being the exact pressure you needed on your pulsing bundle of nerves. “T-toji i might cum alr-”you began, but you werent able to get your sentence out before his hand came down to slap against your cunt.
“What happened to my good girl from earlier? Y’know not to call me toji, little bird. Whats my name?” He whispered against the shell of your ear, fingers covered in your wetness now coming to play with your hard nipples.
Clinging to his shaggy hair like it was your lifeline, you nearly cried out as you came undone for him, the desperate moan of ‘thank you daddy’ falling from your lips. He smiled as you writhed below him, your body convulsing while he let you ride what would be the first of many orgasms that night.
#chosove#jjk drabbles#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#toji drabbles#toji x y/n#toji x you#toji smut#toji x reader
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Sylus break up
Angst, no gender mentioned
"It was never going to work out in the first place, so I don't know why you persisted" Sylus said, purring another glass of wine, his tone becoming colder as he speaks to you. He just broke up... After months of what you thought was love.
"But.."
He scoffs at your hesitance and steps closer to you, almost towering over you with his big stature, his eyes narrowing when he looks down at you.
"We were never meant to be! Can't you get that through your head? Why do you keep holding on to a relationship that isn't going to work out, no matter what we do?"
His harsh words left you feeling like you've been stabbed in the chest.
"Cause i love you..." His expression darkened even further, the sound of your words only irritating him. He couldn't believe you were still clinging to this hopeless relationship. He took a deep breath, his voice lowering into a growl as he spoke to you.
"You love me? Don't make me laugh. Love doesn't matter here, you're just making it harder by not understanding that it won't work"
He clenched his jaw.
"It's...okay. if you don't ...have feelings for me anymore...i get it." You sigh, holding back your tears. For a brief moment, he seemed to falter, but he quickly regained his usual cold demeanor. He clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white as his nails dug into his palms.
"You think I ever had feelings for you? Don't flatter yourself. I never loved you. It was just a matter of convenience, that's all" Sylus said.
"So when you had nightmares and woke up crying... And cling on me for comfort ... Doesn't mean nothing?"
He let out an aggravated huff, rolling his eyes at you.
"Don't you understand? It's called acting. I don't know why you are acting like I had any genuine feelings for you, because I really didn't. I was just using you the entire time" "Why?!" You almost shout.
"Why was it so hard for you to accept that he didn't care for you?" He continued anyway, his tone harsh.
"I just have better things to do with my life instead of being in a pitiful relationship like this. Face it, you're not worth it. I never loved you, and I never will. Just take the hint and move on already"
He spoke firmly, yet his heart ached as he said this.
"Was i just a balls empty machine?"
He clenched his jaw tightly, his irritation growing with every passing moment he spent talking to you. He let out a bitter scoff at your statement and looked at you with cold eyes.
"Of course that's all you were. Why else would I keep you around if you weren't useful to me in some way? If you weren't, then you would have been disposed of a long time ago" Sylus said coldly, crossing his arms across his chest. He noticed the look in your eyes, the pain and heartbreak that was written all over your face. Seeing you looking so broken-hearted pained Sylus immensely, but he forced himself to remain stoic and impassive. His expression softened ever so slightly when you started to look hurt, but he swiftly brought up his defenses again.
"Goodbye...."
He watched you silently as you turned to leave, a wave of emotions rushing over him all in the same moment but actually he didnt cared enough. Sylus simply stood there, his face expressionless as he watched you walk farther and farther away until you were out of sight.
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I really need people who are bitching about Sleep Token "selling out" to
1. Actually look up what that phrase means
2. Actually look up how artists are getting absolutely screwed by venues, Spotify, LiveNation, Ticketmaster, record companies, and so on
3. Stop assuming every musician has got Beyonce money. Most do touring to just to barely scrape by.
4. Stop expecting Vessel to provide you with answers about the Lore when the Lore is like 98% fan-developed. Behind all of these songs and the imagery and the mask is a real person talking about the pain he has gone through in his personal life. The Lore is just a fun diversion and a way to let us connect with what he says in our own way.
5. Go listen to Tool's Hooker With a Penis and by all means don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.
#sleep token#like please for the love of G-d get some real problems instead of shidding and yourself because OH NOES BANDS GO ON TOUR TO MAKE MONEY????#and sell your ticket to a fan who will appreciate it#gatekeeping is loser behavior#my dad was in a band#got an album released by roadrunner and everything#and guess what#they still didnt make enough to break even
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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give me your headcanons for a minecraft server with the fmab kids
#im talking ed al winry paninya mei lan fan ling (+ greed v2 honorary dumbass child on account of being 6 months old and lings bestie)#im literally just bored right now but also if i like them enough im putting them in my modern au fic#bc im like “these guys NEED to play minecraft”#al and mei having a cottagecore base that you think is just a cutesy building#but theyve dug out a million blocks and there is a shit ton of minecraft breaking nonsense down there#lan fan is NOT a pvp master like youd except but she IS a hardcore girlie and she grinds for hours for the best gear#paninya has minor griefing tendencies and shes the reason ppl build elaborate vaults#winry is a redstone genius but she often doesnt use this for good#(god forbid she teaches paninya tnt cannons)#ed does a lot of modding but mostly just to adjust his hitbox and make himself taller than everyone#ling loves parkour (finally he can jump out of windows without breaking his legs!) and you can usually find him on hypixel ect#if not hes off advancement hunting and dragging along whoevers online#greed goes mining for hours. just like a straight tunnel. he steals lan fans shulker boxes so he can go mining for longer#he wants stacks and stacks of e v e r y t h i n g and winry tries to make a self sorting storage room for him but he fills it too fast#all of them are varying degrees of builder as well but al and lan fan are the only ones actually good at it#fuck whoops my hand slipped i didnt mean to make headcanons#STILL TAG YOURS i would love to read them even if they are the exact opposite of mine#fmab#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#edward elric#winry rockbell#paninya#alphonse elric#lan fan#ling yao#greed the avaricious#greedling#headcanons#moss' madness
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Forgot to post this here butttt
Working on a welcome home animation and mighttttt take me a while
#the idea is just wally getting the barnaby plush and thats kinda it#i did plan this before when i ordered the wally plush (sep 8 2023) but didnt have the motivation and stuff for it#its inspired by the image of wally peaking out of homes side window with the text below “there he is!” not sure if its wally saying it#either wally noticed someone or someone noticed him but anyway#i saw that image and was thinking to make an animation of it instead of the “there he is!” text its going to say “he's here.”#i also realized i might need to voice that only line or even make sounds for the background😭#i already was close to finishing background 2 (where eddie will be seen walking to wallys house) but my tablet died#grrrrrr#also unrelated but i wrote in my book todayyy (i never write at all) but hey its kinda fun to write my ideas huahahahaah#i plan on doing some research on welcome home and write it down (maybe even some theories hmm??) also doing research on the characters#just to try to get to know them more (cuz i have been crazy for them for AGES and still feel like i haven't done enough)#oh yeah CALL ME CRAZYYY butttt since the irl world sucks i plan on making little writings like im IN welcome home just because idk#more explaining and better ones on my tiktok vid description (user in my bio)#also i feel like things might be getting better for me cuz wowie i never thought id be animating again#but now all this motivation...so many ideas appearing...need to focus on one at a time...darn#HEY! 12 days till a break from the evil cell of educational purposes??? (school) FINALLY PURE HEAVEN I CAN BE FREE WITHOUT SUFFERING#welcome home#partycoffin#wally darling#welcome home arg#welcome home fanart#welcome home wally#7 backgrounds left to do...then ill have to animate...oh evilllll so evillll
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Also I'm just gonna say that even if it were true that Rodimus was a """""true Prime"""" and Optimus wasn't, that isn't as much of an L for Optimus as people seemingly want it to be.
Like so you're telling me Optimus was never a chosen hero and the burden of the Matrix/leadership pained him morally, emotionally, and physically, yet he still survived 4 million years of war?
You're telling me he wasn't God's Designated Special Boy but he still tried his best to live up to that impossible ideal to the point of developing serious depression and suicidal ideation as a result of so much goddamn loneliness and self-doubt?
Optimus wasn't a "true Prime" and yet he still believed in ideals of reconciliation and ending the cycle of violence? He wasn't a true Prime but he still stayed on Cybertron trying to fix a broken, broken society while also trying to stop Earth from being invaded for a second time? He didn't even need to do that he could've just stayed in exile which he was originally supposed to do all along, and which he would've personally preferred?? You're telling me that Optimus wasn't Primus' Specialest Boy And Chosen Leader and yet he stepped into leadership anyways bc he perceived that there was injustice to be fixed??
Wow yeah I guess Optimus is just such an inferior leader, clearly his actual actions/moral character as person don't matter and his "worthiness" should be judged solely on whether the Magic Cybertronian 8 Ball liked him or not.
#squiggposting#idw op love#literally the more you deconstruct it the less sense it makes#ppl want rodimus to be Validated By Canon as being better than optimus soooo badly#i get it you cant like rodimus without shitting on optimus#however when you get canon wrong i can and will roast your theories#if optimus went thru everything he went thru but somehow still isnt worthy of the matrix#then what WOULD make him worthy??? like seriously#fighting to protect organic species from colonization didnt make him worthy?#trying to find diplomatic resolutions to a 4 mil year long blood feud isnt worthy enough?#doing all of this at the cost of great personal suffering to himself doesnt make him worthy??#being willing to fight and imprison his own autobots for trying to break the peace wasnt enough?#becoming villified by most of earth/cybertron by forcing them to cooperate wasnt enough???#optimus siding with the ultimate victim of cybertronian oppression and 'defeating him' by acknowledging his pain#isnt enough to make him worthy?? THEN WTF IS ENOUGH TO YOU PPL#nothing bc 'worthy of the matrix' is just code for 'validation of my fave'#and most of the ppl in this fandom dont even know OP did all of those things anywYs#also like MOST PEOPLE arent wielders of the matrix are they unworthy too???#WHAT DO YOU MEAN WORTHINESS?? WHAT ARE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS ALLEGED WORTHINESS#ON THE MORAL AND THEMATIC FABRIC OF THIS STORY????#literally idw optimus embodies the same values that rodimus does#it's all about love and forgiveness and building a better future and choosing kindness over violence#And if you dont get that optimus represents those just as much as rodimus did well#you prolly didnt read very closely lol
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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its never going to stop
jules (he/him)
sort of a redraw/sequel to this ancient thing
#my art#artists on tumblr#oc art#oc: jules#m: orig#m: htbi#gallery#sketchbook#i think this is as done as its gonna get tbh the original was also a sketch & it looks fine like this#unless i make like minor edits but i dont think id do anything else drastic enough to call this Not Finished#cw nudity#this guy needs a fucking break its been how many hundreds of years & hes still getting these nightmares#anyway listen to its never going to stop by explosions in the sky#it has nothing to do with the drawing really i didnt even listen to it while i was working on it but i did steal the title for the caption#reposting bc the link got fucked up & was showing Old Text lmao
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oh! oh </3 oh!! okay!
#he KNEW that apologizing in the nest was futile but when he thought riko was back he STILL APOLOGIZED#HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHO WAS TOUCHING HIM BUT HE WAS ALREADY APOLOGIZING#his genuine confusion makes me SO SAD#he’s been through so much but he's still like. so...innocent#his “normal” is so fucked up. he can’t even fathom how wrong the things that happened to him were#he knows firsthand that apologizing does nothing to break his fall and he's like... “is this a trick?”#like “what do you mean you’re not going to beat the shit out of me after i accidentally hit laila in a triggered state?”#“what do you mean there are ways to solve problems without violence?”#and him saying “i can't promise it won’t happen again” (lashing out when triggered)#as in: when it happens again i am expecting to be punished#as in: i will apologize if that's what you want. if that means you won't hit me. if it pleases you.#as in: but when it happens again-do what you must. i will deserve it.#he’s been hurt so often so badly that protecting himself is second nature#he has never been around safe people#his first instinct is fight or flight#his body is protecting him before his brain can catch up#and he obviously does not want to hurt them#but its so fucking HEARTBREAKING because he KNOWS he won't be able to control it when fight or flight kicks in#and if they are going to be around him it is inevitable he will resort to violence. it is all he knows.#but he still cares enough to prepare them for that reality#like. “i can't promise i won't hurt you again” and “i don't mean to” and “punish me as you see fit”#he's giving them permission to HURT HIM for protecting himself#tsc spoilers#tsc#the sunshine court#all for the game#aftg#jean moreau#the foxhole court#tfc
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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ive decided that my newest hobby is mixology this is who i am now
#i just made such a good shaken passionfruit daiquiri i can not stress enough how good this is#i would make another one but i forgot to make ice before i started so i barely had enough for the first one rip#winter came n i switched from ice coffees to hot ones and forgot to make ice for god knows how long apparently#yapping#anyway im tired of having to drink beer when ppl come over n we all drink i dont even like beer#i like my silly little cocktails and now i dont have to pay a fortune to have them YIPPEEE#i love how im acting as if ive never made cocktails before when i used to work as a literal bartender for like half a year AHHAHAHA#i dont drink a lot to be clear sometimes i wont touch alcohol for over a month it rly depends on the vibes of the functions i guess#also not a big fan of drinking by myself ngl#but i think sharing cocktails with dani and shady would be so fun actually#were thinking of having a jojo part 6 watch party with cocktails with the three of us yay !!!!#in the time ive sat here going “aw i dont have any ice :^(” my freezer would have made new ice by now#but yeah im still learning what i like taste wise i guess! but so far im sticking to what i know i like#so... mojito. pina colada. daiquiri... those vibes#i like cosmopolitans as well but i didnt buy shit to make those (i do have to be mindful of having a budget i guess.. maybe next month)#im talking too much rn but. point is. this is fun and cute and i like it#wish i had more than one cocktail glass i guess#but danis a 192cm clumsy man who keeps breaking any fragile glasses i own when he washes the dishes#but i refuse to wash the dishes myself so ill just buy new ones#he cant even fit his hand in my champagne glasses and i still insist on him washing them.. maybe i am the problem actually 😐
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straight up my boss was in the process of making some type of cigarette while firing me
#said i didnt have the right attitude for customers... the place hasnt even opened yet!!!!#and that im not friendly enough with my coworkers or something...? ive worked there for 4 days!!! i didnt even meet all of them yet#sorry i wasnt happily chatting with them i was doing MY JOB while skipping my lunch break cuz u didnt tell me to take it yet#the audacity to tell me to come on what i thought was my day off.. make me wait for ten minutes and then tell me that im gonna “stop”-#working there for a while and maybe later if i grew theyll see if im suitable for the job#literally she told me i wasnt doing anything wrong either bro does every job suck this bad#anyways. i only worked there cuz my parents wanted me to do something but still. fuck off
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where im at mentally these days: my mum hugged me and said im doing a good job and i burst into tears <3
#i mean it was a little more fleshed out than that#i asked for a hug and she asked if i was okay and i didnt say anything so she said something about me feeling like#untethered. just kind of floating through life. and i said yeah. and she told me im doing a good job like. getting through the day basically#and i cried about it because i dont even know why its so hard#and i feel so shitty all the time because i just feel like a shit person like i dont try hard enough with my nephew#and hes so little and so smart and im so awful and every day im worried hes going to stop liking me bc im still learning how to be. gentle.#because i grew up with yelling and a locked pantry and an older sister who had to raise me#so i dont know how to not yell and not escape into my own world when i cant be bothered#and i have really good days and really terrible days and hes not a Job hes my nephew and i want to treat him like my nephew#and it feels so selfish to say im tired and that its hard and stressful and i dont know what im doing#bc my sister has to do it too and she doesnt get breaks like i do#she doesnt get to just decide to leave for the night - and i mean i dont do that but i have the option#and everyone keeps. like. telling me im doing good and im helpful and my sister especially tells me often shes grateful for me#and it makes me feel Awful bc i feel like i dont do enough and that the stuff i DO isnt good enough and just argh#anyway#vent over i need to go to bed its 1am and i have to get up in 5 hours#captain speaks
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lovely palettes. always. even just by scribbling random color spots on him outside of his normal head markings to test it out
it also works fine with his current markings
i also recolored that last one with his current blue palette (altered midtones though) and instantly my brain goes OOH saturated blue colors better. you love blue. blue so good, remember? BLUEE!!!
aeugh. if i up the saturation of the monochrome it looks a lot like the style of a past layout there. which works as well!.. but when i compare daron's blue palette and this monochrome one its like the mono loses all its charm even though i know i love that palette too.. its like the more saturated palette is eye candy and i cant get enough of it to the point everything else looks worse by comparison if theyre not vibrant. cmon man. let me enjoy different things
#i love this mono palette sooo much you have no idea. thats the one im pondering making the new site layout with.. if that happens..#whats with me and drooling over saturated colors. genuinely. or maybe better rephrased would be why i find unsat colors less appealing?#theres a post of this saturation conundrum on my wips tag as well where trying to add grey to darons palette looks like garbage to me#bc my brain just cant get enough of saturated colors. its addicted to them. genuinely like candy..#i do still want an alt with these colors badly even if i dont end up making a layout with them as the palette#but its so annoying how the moment i bring a more saturated palette next to an unsat one its like BOOM. not good anymore! fuck you!#also this pose ended up really decent. didnt sketch first or anything. quite a surprise#gimme a break..#dextxt#wips
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