#they should really have the soundtrack playing in photo mode too

[hzdtrees]

Afloat

[kirstenonic05]

Glad to see we had the EXACT same thoughts abt the end. Lemme put a read more to not spoil anyone.

Edit: I also wrote. A lot. I was not expecting this. Sonic thoughts on brain...

It's so sad how the story was leading up to something so epic and then... It gets dissolved straight away! Sonic gets corrupted and then ten seconds later, nevermind! He's fine!

I'm hoping the DLC adds an End of the World type sequence to save Sonic from death (again) where we get to play as the side characters to save Sonic, this time adding Sage and Eggman. I feel like they should have made Ouranos Island an island where you have to play through as other characters and work towards bringing Sonic back, or something!

Or, or, you play as the corrupted Sonic and have to regain Sonic's memory tokens with the aid of the others. Something like that.

Then onto Rhea, which would be the final like you said! The Rhea island music gives me mega angst brainrot and it's one of my favourites from the soundtrack. Glad you appreciate it as much as I do!

The final boss made me really disappointed since it was by far the easiest boss as well! I would love to see them make a final level where Sonic traverses through corrupted Cyberspace levels like you said!!! They really should have gone more in with the corruption, it's just a shame so much got cut before the game came out! The End piloting Sonic would be heartbreaking to see. At least Hard Mode actually gets a bossfight...? Kind of.

You're right about Sage's sacrifice! I actually did start caring for her since I did all the sidequests before finishing (except two but for stupid reasons) and they sacrifice her! Heart-wrenching! And then she comes back. Huh? I kind of understand why, Sage is cool and it'd be great to see her back. And it might set up the next storyline. But this wouldn't be the first time a sentient, important android in Sonic would die! (See: Emerl)

Pinball minigame breaks our hearts and also broke speedrunning for ages until they figured out Pinball skip. I wish it had the SA1 mechanics and charm. Then I'd play the heck out of it. I had to redo it 3 times because there's so many stupid things that could happen out of your control. And why is there a random pinball machine in the middle of an ancient ruin??? Actually, the scene made me laugh, so it gets a pass. I guess it's to tie in with Sega's origins again. Can't have Sonic without pinball, huh?

Surprisingly enough, I found Sonic quite fast, but that might be because I'm used to much slower games. The momentum issue is a shame, but hopefully they'll touch it up with the next game! (Then maybe the dropdash would have more use)

Sonic's voice actor didn't change! It's still Roger Craig Smith. Just that he uses his Batman voice. Jk, but he made sure to deliver lines with a lower tone in order to fit the more serious tone of the game. I personally like it because OUCH OOF MY HEART but yeah it is kind of weird for Sonic of all people to sound like that XD

Photo mode will be in the DLC, don't worry! Thankfully they said DLC will be free!

Good stuff now! Titans? AMAZING, 10/10 DESIGNS. And their real story and how people used to pilot them and ugh. I love them. They're awesome. And their music? Bangers. I haven't liked a song this much in a while.

You're so right about how cinematic the shots are. Woo boy did they do well with the titan fights. And people are still figuring out new ways to beat them and new animations! Speaking of animations, I like how there are actual animations for whenever Super Sonic loses. Eg. Giganto eating him, or, my favourite, Sonic going too fast and crashing into the End. Good stuff.

I see why you like the Wyvern fight so much. It's amazing. Like flying over the island you just explored? Top stuff.

Supreme having the classic "Main theme is final boss theme" is so good! They hardly do that anymore for Sonic! Epic boss.

Island music is amazing! I can't wait for the jukebox to get added in the DLC so I can listen to Kronos Island 2-5 and Aries Island 1-3 on loop again. It's a shame that at the moment you can't go back, but whatever, it's on Spotify :)

Somehow Aries Island Mvt. 1 has become one of my favourite songs in the game??? Even though I listened to Mvt. 2 when it was teased and because it sounds like Dusty Desert from '06??? The feeling of being alone in a new place and the sense of wonder hits home and I just love it to death.

Actually, I love a lot of the island themes! They're all so mystical. And how each one gets more and more intense and driving as you get closer to the final emerald is amazing. Tomoya Ohtani, the composer, said loneliness was a main drive, and oh boy can you hear it. I don't usually like sad-ish songs, but the sense of wonder, loss and loneliness... I can't describe it!

The Theme of the Starfall Islands amazes me because it's actually Kronos Island Mvt. 2-3 and it's main leitmotifs carry on throughout the movements. And then you go to Ouranos, and BAM! You get to hear the full song, with the orchestra and everything! The first time I heard it when it got leaked, I listened to it on loop. And then hearing it progressively build in-game was a feeling like none other.

I could gush about the music all day, but I'll shorten it by going on about my favourite song in the game:

Spider. Yes, you heard me right. Guardian: Spider. I love how the electronic parts are off beat, and off time, making it seem like a confusing, scary beast is headed towards you. Like, say, a spider. It puts you on edge, and the drum staying through to the beat of the song makes a clash that really messes with your head. The electronic instruments being all short and fast, kind of like how you'd imagine a spider to walk, amazes me. And again, it gives a creepy crawly type of feel!

And it turns out there's an extra phase in the Spotify version of the song that's not in the game that includes high-pitched arpeggios that really puts you on edge! And the other instruments drop out, leaving only the drums and the arpeggios. Then it goes back to the skitterish sound.

And then you get launched into the air and suddenly, BOOM! FULL ORCHESTRA! It reminds me of the Mega Death Egg Robot's theme from Sonic Forces. A confusing, disorienting song, that suddenly explodes into a coherent, strong, motivating one. Heroic, even. The first time I got launched into the air, my first reaction was utter amazement. ...To the point of missing half of the rings because I was too focused on the song, but still. This might be one of my favourite songs of all times now. I've been listening to it on loop help.

Oh, and some of the songs take inspiration from older songs! Like Aries Island Mvt 2-3 being Dusty Desert, Cyberspace 4-2: Ephemeral being End of the World and something else, Rumble Rave (can't remember the number lol) being Arsenal Pyramid, etc. And as a person who listens to mainly Sonic music, it makes my heart flutter.

About Kronos Island 2 Electric Boogaloo, Ouranos Island, Rhea Island and Kronos Island were meant to be the same island! If you go out of bounds, they're all connected! You can go from Gigantos' arena straight to Ouranos, if I recall! Again, there was a lot of cut content, and I'm kind of glad they split this island into three.

Dynamic music is my blood. Oh my God. I love dynamic music SO MUCH. The first time I heard some of it I was amazed. I'm so glad new games are starting to normalise dynamic music! I haven't seen a game with dynamic music in so long! Apparently even the fish caught jingle changes with a new fish! (It's very tiny difference though, makes it sound different to the SA1 song lol)

Volcanic glass on Kaos Island? Sign me up. Oh, and random hotspring I'm 100% gonna spend all my time taking photos of? Also sign me up.

The island layout! You're right about how memorable they are! Even though Kaos Island is super hard to navigate, you still have an idea of where you're going!

Also about the maps, I actually spent most of my time going about and "collecting" more map pieces. It made exploration fun, as you always went "Ok, if I go into this void on the map there's got to be a sign somewhere around here." There really was no need to grind at all in the game! (Other than fishing. Which wasn't a grind. Just a whole lot of fun I spent most of my time doing instead of playing the game. Whoops.)

Light puzzle on Kronos was horrible for me. I didn't get it, and got through it by sheer luck! ...After 30 minutes. I uh. Still don't get it. And I can't wait to do it again on hard! /s My brain is not big enough for this.

It's funny, cause I found crane puzzle easy! I guess that shows all the different people who play this game, huh?

Why. Why was pinball 5mil points. I love SA1 pinball but. What. What is this. I could complain abt pinball all day I think.

Hacking minigame was fun. Those old arcade type bullet hell games are always fun :D

So about the slot machine. You can hit down on the D-Pad to play the slots. And the game doesn't tell you that, why??? There's so many tutorials, and that's not one of them??? I only found out after searching about it on IGN for reference for my fic. Like come on man. BUT. It's still such a fun mechanic. I often drop whatever I'm doing and go chase stars. Then it ends and I'm like. Oh. Why am I on the other side of the island?

Funny story! The first time I reached Ouranos, a starfall started as Sonic spawned in. I thought it was scripted, but no! It was just luck! I think about it sometimes. It was right after a starfall on Rhea as well, which was weird! It took me ages to realise it wasn't scripted.

And also the first time I went to Chaos Island I got a starfall! So both Chaos and Ouranos had me just running around like a headless chicken collecting stars and getting completely lost. 10/10 mechanic. Can't wait for photo mode. Again, stars are my aesthetic, so obviously I think about starfalls often. Very often. *Pushes away the crossover fic I'm writing related to the starfall I got on Ouranos*

Oh I didn't realise starfall could cause Guardians to spawn in the wrong places! That's really interesting actually.

Fishing. Let's just say it makes or breaks games for me. SA1 got me VERY very accustomed to fishing, since I used to also play Sega Bass Fishing and pretty much any fishing game I could get my hands on. Heck, I only play Final Fantasy XV on my sister's account to fish!

I'm a little sad they didn't bring back the SA1 mechanics, but it might be for the best since people didn't really like it much. This game's fishing reminds me of Minecraft, except more therapeutic! I like how as you progress the QTEs become more tight and harder to do. It's so calming, and seeing Sonic interact with really random things makes my day. I ended up buying all of Eggman's logs first then buying 2000 kocos. And then I bought more on a later date. And I had to sit there talking Elder Koco for a good hour. Whoops!

Fishing is amazing and it is totally broken as heck. I ended up with too much ATK/DEF for half the game and going "Whoops. FIshed too much." My main goal with each island was to find fishing so I could get fast travel early, but I totally ended up staying and going "Ok, one more fish" and then proceeding to get stuck in the endless loop of fishing. I love fishing.

Combat was good, yeah! Just buggy sometimes, but it worked pretty well! I agree about how to execute them though. I would constantly forget which attack was which and struggle to form coherent combos that weren't just homing attack > kick kick kick > cross slash. But still, good fun!

Platinuming the game was... Really easy??? I finished the game and went "Ok what do I have to do" and most of the stuff was done. Just 3 more stories, 2 more cyber space stages and talking to the Elder Koco for around an hour (too many kocos man...) then fishing and talking to the Hermit Koco. Then boom! Platinum. There were some VERY out of the way map parts though, and I had to use guides for them.

Speaking of guides, ball puzzles. I struggled more than expected? It took me ages to get the physics and I had to use a guide, only to realise I was doing it wrong the whole time. Probably just a me problem, but they give me nightmares.

And another me thing! There was one Ghost Guardian that had a weird track and I kept launching off of it. And then, the game glitched and I couldn't cyloop its pedastal! I laughed afterwards (and had to watch Sonic die... oof) but that was a major glitch I encountered!

Frontiers was, indeed, ALMOST perfect! A step in the right direction, though! I like where they're going, and with more touch ups the game could be even better! It's a lot of fun to play, and it was an amazing experience from start to end!

Unleashed is indeed a good game (I should finish it one day...), and I totally see how it's your favourite! For me, nothing will ever, EVER beat SA1. And that's thanks to bias 👍

I'm glad you're enjoying your time in the Sonic fandom! I used to also play Heroes with Ink, and I would go between Team Sonic and Chaotix, while Ink would take Dark and Rose. It was my first Sonic game, actually!

I'm so so so happy your love for Sonic has been rekindled! Thank you for being someone I can talk about Sonic with <3

Just finished Sonic Frontiers and. Yeah.

Even though it was likely unintentional, I want to thank you for violently dragging me back into the Sonic fandom <3

I would've passed on getting Frontiers and it's. It's pretty damn good. I have a lot of thoughts on it I'm still gonna let stew in my brain for a bit but it's probably like a 8.7/10 to me, which is like really high for me

You're welcome! Welcome back to the fandom, we have angst! XD

I can't wait to hear about what you thought of the game. Will you be replaying it on hard mode? I heard the final boss changes if you do

Great to hear you enjoyed! :D

[view-from-over-the-controller]

Assassins Creed Odyssey - A moment where time stood still - Kephisos Spring total tranquility.

In my exploration of the amazing world of ancient Greece in Assasins Creed I have seen amazing sights such as the great stone penises of many a statue, the beautiful cities, landscapes plenty while also enjoying all the missions and camps to clear (Please see my previous blog for why I think everyone should play this game) but one of the most enticing things on the map of plenty is the discovery points. White eagles that you turn green in these wonderful moments where Ikaros swoops over you, and you feel embroiled in satisfaction! One of these Eagle points left a mark on me though that I will never ever forget!

At the northmost point of the map, there is one of these points called Kephisos Spring which is a long branch atop a tall cliff face. These branches feature in the game a lot offering places to perch for wonderful screenshots as your character crouches looking badass. (My lord I need another hard drive for this freaking game the photo mode is to die for so gorgeous!)

When I walked to the end of this particular branch though, I noticed this body of water below surrounded by trees, and I had a calling to pop down the mountain and take a look. As I leaped, Ikaros cried out and time slowed and in an epic fall I landed in a bed of blossom tree petals. As I rose, taking a brief moment to admire my wonderful outfit choice for Kassandra, I was greeted by the calming sound of running water from the slow-flowing waterfall to my left and this feeling washed over me. All the gargantuan sights, bloodshed, battle, tough moral choices, assassinations, the complex family issues, politics alongside the looming threat of the Cult Of Kosmos disappeared. In fact, at this moment all of my own real-life thoughts, feelings and worries disappeared too and I felt meditative, reflective, as well as a feeling of stillness.

I no longer wanted to hold the toggle to the very top and break into a run as I did at most moments of traversal in this game. I no longer wanted to jump wildly from rock to rock,

instead, I wanted to gently climb into the water below. As I clambered down, the knee-deep water surrounded Kassandra and I gently waded through it to a small piece of land in the middle.

The sun glistened off the surface of the water as an Athenian guard came into view, to my left his horse trotted slowly through the water ahead of me.

I was enamored with the ambiance of this place, the sounds of the running water and birds tweeting complimented by the soft ancient greek singing of the soundtrack.

The trees range from the popping pinks of cherry blossoms between a vale of autumnal browns, oranges, and lush greens of the other trees.

The larger waterfall supplying the still body of water below leads to smaller waterfalls flowing effortlessly.

The emotions this brought forth in me are hard to describe. I still had a sense of wonder but also felt connected to nature and with the singing felt somehow connected to some deeper human ancestral energy. It was simply wonderful.

I began to stride through the water, never breaking into a run, admiring all the scenery had to offer when I saw the smoke of a small village down the way built around the flow of this river, masqueraded in the same pretty trees as scattered people made their way up to the spring as it was a direct route to the road onwards, and you have to walk through the river as the Athenian guard did earlier on. The people walked by as I stopped, still drinking in every moment I could, watching them flow by just like the water. The whole scene was like a yoga retreat.

This is where I felt myself really appreciating the intimate detail and beauty of this game’s design. A moment in which it made me feel so otherworldly relaxed and chill. A moment in which I stopped to take it all in and appreciate being alive and being able to escape into these magical worlds that games have to offer us. Videogames are a special kind of magic and as much as the huge and epic moments showcase this, for me, these moments do too. It’s rare these days to just stop and take it all in.

I often do this in real life when I am surrounded by family members and friends when I see my mum laugh or see Kayleigh (my girlfriend) smile when she’s excited or filled with happiness.

Although everything is temporary these moments seem to last longer. Seem to tattoo themselves into our minds and become places we return to when times are hard and we want to escape into our memory. This moment in Assassin’s Creed was one of these for me. A chance to appreciate the beauty all around me.

`I have promised myself when I say my last farewell to this utterly amazing game I will return to this spot and share a moment with it once more. Video games are true pieces of art and boy am I lucky to be able to experience them.

Kephisos Spring A moment where time stood still.

[gamersonthego]

Matt Giguere’s Top 25 DS Games

It’s strange to think Nintendo, once again, had to prove themselves in the handheld space after the Game Boy and Game Boy Advance handily served every bit of competition it faced. Yet in 2004, the Nintendo DS faced an uphill battle to show that having the best and fastest hardware wouldn’t necessarily result in the best sales. 16 years and 154 million units later, the legacy of the DS is strong, evident in the deluge of smartphone and mobile games that rely on a touch interface. It’s a shame Nintendo and other publishers are not being better stewards to their catalogues of games as there are still many that are only playable on the original hardware, and few seem to make the jump to the current set of consoles and computers. Still, it is easy to find an original DS that works and there are still plenty of cheap titles to pick up. Here’s a selection of my favorite games to hit the handheld.

1. Meteos

Can a puzzle game top Tetris?  Honestly, thanks to the minds of Tetsuya Mizuguchi and Masahiro Sakurai, Meteos manages to blast past the mesosphere and comes the closest to a space rendezvous with the original falling brick puzzler. What makes it fun to play? While it can get rather hectic and fast paced, the touch screen makes matching three or more pieces a cinch. Blasting off these little “meteos” using rocket propulsion and fighting against the forces of gravity creates a very addictive hook with some variety that keeps it from being stale. It is a simple and effective puzzle game that showcases why a touch-based interface can work for some games better than what button presses can do. Add in easy to use single cart multiplayer and the single-player Star Trip mode to keep you sharp, and you have a puzzle game for the ages.  

2. Elite Beat Agents

Imagine being stuck in an impossible situation, like having to face down a runaway golem, or sneak into a corporate office using your ninja powers? Who do you call to help in this situation? This is a job for the Elite Beat Agents: A government agency that cheers you on to the grooves of radio hits from the ’70s to the ’00s. The idea of playing a rhythm game where you have to tap and slide didn’t sit well with my snobbish DDR and Guitar Hero ways. Why tap a screen when I can “dance” and “rock out?” Little did I know this was just as valid a way to feel the music and beat out a jam, and soon after I was feeling the hand cramps of too much furious tapping while I carefully made sure I didn't “Ouendan” the bottom screen. There’s a very strange energy to this game that permeates from the different scenarios to the beat of the soundtrack. I might not dig every song served in the playlist, but I can’t help but try and top my score on Sk8er Boi for the 100th time! With all the trouble in the world, maybe we need more games (and people) like EBA these days.

3. Advance Wars: Dual Strike

Oh Advance Wars, your time was too short over here. But hey! At least we were given a great first outing on the DS, and all these years later, it is still a blast to play. Using the second screen to quickly glance at unit and area information is a welcomed addition, but Second Front battles add a new dimension to the core strategy game that really sells the top screen. Throw in all the CO Tag Powers and a map editor built for a touch interface, and it’s hard to see how anything can top this release of Advance Wars. But seriously Intelligent Systems and Nintendo, please give the franchise one more shot!  

4. Tetris DS

Yeah, it's Tetris. But also, it’s Tetris! Maybe it is one of those “skips a generation” thing, as you can kind of plot the best versions of portable Tetris are on the GameBoy, the DS, and the Switch. Tetris DS may be sacrilegious to some with its hold options and infinity spin technique, but this is what I think makes this version unique beyond the various modes and dual screen support. To me it creates a faster version of Tetris that is easy to get into, but can be a fun challenge to master. The addition of Nintendo-themed boards to go with the different modes of play not seen in other versions also adds to this unique addition to the Tetris line. Looking for a version of Tetris with more to do than just the base game? Tetris DS has the most to offer.  

5. Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

This game should have been a hit. Maybe the marketing hyped this game up too much? Maybe more people were spoiled by the full 3D realization of the GTA formula with GTA 3? Maybe the music wasn’t the same without the radio hits? Maybe if the synthwave revival had hit the scene sooner it would’ve helped? Whatever the case, this is a gem of a GTA game. While it misses out on the full production of the home console and PSP “Stories” line (I think full voice acting would have helped this version of the game immensely,) just about every aspect of the big brother version is here in this miniature version of Liberty City. From hijacking cars to outrunning the fuzz, this top-down 3D GTA gives a full helping of the open world mayhem the series is known for. The bottom screen minigames can get a touch annoying, but they hardly get in the way like many other games on the DS. Rounding out this game is the drug peddling economy minigame. Not only does it fit the setting and overall style of the game, but  it enables a great opportunity for emergent gameplay to unfold with big risks and big gains. It baffles me* how Rockstar won’t develop this further in their games’ single player campaigns. Check it out, as it’s still rather cheap on the DS and is also available on the PSP and most modern mobile devices. *I’m clearly ignoring the real money cash flow of online microtransactions. 6. Kirby: Canvas Curse

7. Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin

8. Mario Kart DS

9. Looney Tunes: Duck Amuck

10. Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia

11. WarioWare Touched!

12. Star Fox Command

13. Mario and Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story

14. 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors

15. Final Fantasy IV

16. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

17. Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day!

18. The World Ends with You

19. Professor Layton and the Curious Village

20. Mega Man XZ

21. Pokemon Black/White

22. Photo Dojo

23. Style Savvy

24. New Super Mario Bros

25. The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass

[moved-attre]

Here is my review of Cyberpunk 2077! It is a bullet point list of what I liked, and did not like about the game. I mean no offense in my writing, and am, of course, willing to be educated if I am wrong about anything! But please do not send me anonymous hate. I know many fans and haters of this game can be very, uh... So take it all with a grain of salt, and form your own opinions.

This is very long and likely boring so if you manage to make it to the end, I will be very impressed! Also, I may ramble or repeat myself, sorry. There’s more bad points than good, since the game is very glitchy and I couldn’t not mention the glitches I have experienced.

Obviously, this contains major spoilers! 👁👄👁

I’ll start off by saying, this is a game where you will likely not get what you expected. If you expected Cyberpunk 2077 to be a game filled with features that were never before seen, to revolutionise the gaming industry as we know it and become the most iconic video game ever made... You will not get that. If you expected it to be the worst, most irredeemable video game ever created that you’ll hate... You will not get that, either. If you expected a game that is a fairly standard RPG with some impressive graphics when played on a high spec PC, albeit with some bad glitches and a wonky story with lots of potential, then you’ve got it!

Pros:

The majority of the voice acting, such as in V, Johnny and Viktor, was very good and emotional. Viktor in particular made me tear up! And the way V manages to sound almost like Johnny with the subtle accent change was amazing!

The character’s such as Takemura, Jackie, the LIs, Johnny, Viktor, Misty (I could go on) and even many random NPCs were interesting! I wanted to know them and loved their relevant missions. The best ones were unromanceable, of course, but that’s what imagination is for.

THE ALDECALDOS! I love them! A found family, and I wish there was more to do with them other than Panam’s missions and a few side missions. I love found family, and I’m disappointed V couldn’t form their own, so I’ll take what I can get and love the Aldecaldos, even if V can’t join them until the very end. Panam had the best missions of all the LI’s, even if the last one felt very abrupt. (At least, on her friendship route.)

Night City felt alive. There was always plenty going on, it felt like a real city, and it could be beautiful.

Jackie and Corpo V’s friendship was lovely. I loved their “To this!” inside joke, and I loved how Jackie roasted V but would jump to their defence in a second. It didn’t feel forced at all.

There’s lots of environmental storytelling. The atmosphere of a city choking to death under it’s own pollution/corruption was very apparent in the areas not lived in by the rich. Lots of homeless characters, violence, drugs, absolute poverty, trash (The dump! I felt sick just looking at it, and I couldn’t even smell it! Poor V, though.) and general apathy from a lot of the residents really sold the concept.

Johnny and V’s dynamic was the best part of the story! I hated him at first, but slowly came to enjoy his commentary and advice. His interactions with V were very funny at times, and thoughtful at other times. He was an interesting perspective for the player to consider, while still being an asshole you could dislike for much of the story. He has some really emotional scenes and I played a V that viewed him as a friend, so it was really nice hearing him call V the closest person he’d ever had. They became so devoted to each other! CDPR did good with this element, but I can’t help wishing for more. The dynamic had so much more to give, and a romance/happy ending could have worked.

And to add on, the mission where Johnny takes over V’s body to go on a bender was great! I loved all the moments to play as Johnny in V’s body. All the symbolism between them was so good. Every mission matters, and you can replay to look closer at details! He also comments on other side missions with no personal relevance to him, which was neat.

All the enemies had unique names. A minor detail, but it made me feel some guilt over killing them. 🤣 I think all character’s had unique names, which is such a nice detail.

The soundtrack was incredible, I loved every original piece and radio song. I have several saved on Spotify, which is big praise coming from me! I very rarely listen to video game soundtracks.

V can adopt a cat! 🐈‍⬛ It was adorable, and Johnny’s interaction with it made me tear up!

The size of the map was good, not too big or too small. I got about 100 hours of play in by exploring, which is pretty good to me! I got lost a few times, but always found something interesting to do in the meanwhile. I loved the Badlands especially. 

Some of the side missions, particularly the more mysterious ones involving investigating deaths and the cyberpsychos, were very enjoyable! I’m a big slut for mystery, and there were some interesting cases to figure out. I wish we could’ve done missions like that with River, though, especially once he becomes a PI.

I was complaining about the lack of aliens in CP2077, but I suppose we did get a couple space themed missions which was pretty fun. I still want to go experience going into orbit, though. 👽 Or the moon!

Separating voice and body in the CC was a good idea, even if it was handled a little strangely. I’ll talk about this more in the ‘Cons’ section below!

Act 2 was my favorite part of the game, but it blended weirdly with Act 3 and that put me off. I am nostalgic for Act 1, but not eager to replay it because it felt so slow... I’m not sure on this point! I liked Act 2 because the story picked up and I was excited for more, but the more I got wasn’t as I expected. So, yes, Act 2 was good.

The scenery is very beautiful, and sometimes the outside lighting is absolutely perfect. The Arasaka parade mission was lovely to look at. I always stop the car and watch the sunrise/sunset, and I like going out to the Badlands to look at the stars!

An addition to that, is the lighting in some main quest missions. Very noir! It made for some beautiful screenshots. (Of which I sadly can’t share because my game doesn’t record well on medium settings. 😳)

The motorcycles are fun to drive! Mainly because I can zoom in between cars and Jackie’s motorcycle has a lot of sentimental value, as well as other vehicles like Johnny’s Porsche and Jake’s car. You can open the trunk to dump bodies in, which was a cool detail., and each one drives differently!

There could be amazing attention to detail, such as making Jackie look like his mother. I expected his mother to be a randomly generated NPC, but she was completely unique. It’s the minor things like that which stood out to me the most.

The scanner was a fun tool and very useful! I liked being able to find alternative ways to do a mission, it felt more realistic than the standard “massacre everybody, pick up an item and get out” fetch quests normally seen in RPGs. I could sneak in a tunnel or a side door! Perhaps irritating and unnecessary to some, but I liked it. I love utilising every possible option.

The interface color changes if you have Johnny controlling V’s body. Another small but good detail! The game is good with the minor details.

The sex scenes were not... awful. I expected much, much worse! I expected fully animated first person porn. Instead, I thought they were fairly realistic and intended to be romantic. Still very awkward, though, and unnecessary.

When they didn’t glitch, the animations were very good. Not as impressive as I hoped, probably because of glitches, but in line with other AAA games like Horizon Zero Dawn, I suppose? I noticed Judy’s animations in particular as being good, and Johnny had lots of unique ones too!

The clothing options are very fun, I like the holographic items and “Bitch” clothes, hehe. Also including Hijabs! 🧕 Great idea, and more games should do that.

The diversity of the NPCs was welcome. I enjoyed seeing Native American, Asian, Black and Latinx NPCs who weren’t there just to suffer! They would occupy important roles in the story, such as Fixers or friends/romance options for V, so they were pretty much unavoidable! It felt very natural, and they helped Night City feel more realistic.

Adding to that, the different cultures included were interesting too! I liked the Haitian characters in Pacifica.

The photo mode is pretty good. Not as good as I expected, the camera angle presets were useful but the filters weren’t very good. I liked that the photo mode could be used in cutscenes, though! It was standard, and I hope more bits will be added in for it.

A lot of the glitches are hilarious, but I recognise not all will share that opinion so I’m just adding this down here. The T-Posing NPCs are a highlight for me. Call that the Skyrim effect.

Cons:

No NB gender options/No pronoun options. Would they/them have been so difficult to implement?

No body or height sliders. There’s so many fat character’s in the game! Why can I not make my V fat? Or muscular?

Gender restrictive hairstyles and clothes. Come on, guys, it’s 2020/2077! Aren’t we beyond gender restrictive appearance options?

No tattoo parlours, no plastic surgeons and no hairstylists for V to change their appearance. I don’t understand why a CC was included at all, since we spent the majority of the game in first person. It reminded me of Far Cry.

The main story started off strong, albeit slow, picked up in Act 2, then felt very rushed in Act 3. The point of no return was very abrupt! 

The celebrity cameos felt very gimmicky. The one exception to this is Keanu Reeves, who did a very good job as Johnny. Genuinely brought tears to my eyes at times... but Grimes was just embarrassing! Why was she there! A talented VA could have done Lizzy Wizzy much better, giving her actual emotions instead of just monotone “boredom”.

I don’t know what the point of owning apartments is. You can only sleep in V’s bed, what is the point of looking in the mirror? V has no use for their terminal in their apartment, they never get any messages after the first time they meet Johnny. It was so unnecessary, especially when there’s several across the map. I can access the stash of weapons and clothes from my car! Why would I ever need to go home? Judy gives me her apartment and I’m like, girl, I’m never visiting unless you have a mission to give me.

Also, there are no penalties for not showering or sleeping. I wanted character’s to comment on that! Call me stinky or tell me I look exhausted!

V doing side missions makes no sense, and no explanation is given for why we can do them. Why would V, who is dying and has precious few days left to live, be driving for hours on end to deliver packages and shoot random criminals? When they could be figuring out how to survive the biochip! Who the hell would care about a some extra money or buying every available car for sale, when they’re dying of something that could be preventable?

Some side missions were either very poorly done or obviously majorly glitched, since it felt like they skipped important parts and I was often very confused at the end of them! For example, the Corpo V side mission was so short! I expected to be able to hunt down Abernathy and get revenge for V and Jenkins, but instead, I shoot some random assistant I don’t even remember? And that’s it? Done in 2 minutes! If that! What is the point of that? I didn’t even have fun! Also, what happened to Garry? I wanted to save him but V just never follows up on it.

And, I wish we got closure with T-Bug. The fact that V never bothers to find her body and give her a proper burial was just poor form. 

The endings were not... good. There are technically 6 different endings, all wrapped up into 3 parts. In my opinion, the best ending is the one where V kills themselves and has a very “Arthur Morgan watching his last sunset” vibe. It made me cry. Another good ending is having Johnny take over V’s body forever, as you can really see how much Johnny has changed as a person thanks to V’s influence. But they still felt very... eh and the story just never got that boost it needed, ending before it could take off. In the “best” ending, the Nomand ending with Panam, V ”survives” but has only another few months to live. So they die off screen. Satisfying? Uh, no. Not at all. There’s no possible ending where V has any hope of survival, but I much preferred being there with V until the very end. I disagree with the people calling Johnny’s ending the “bad” ending, because it really isn’t! I ignore all of this of course, and my V is living happily ever after.

I kind of hate that CP2077 has this illusion of options when some are clearly intended to be chosen more than others. Judy and Panam have the best endings in term of romance. Why bother with River and Kerry? Kerry is more of a fling than an actual romance, and is met very late in the game at a point where you can ignore him completely and just end the game, and River’s romance is so glitched that many people can’t even do it fully, and in every ending he dumps you, so it feels like none of it mattered to him despite him being the most “domestic” of the possible LI’s...

Takemura’s ending! He died in my playthrough, because the game didn’t tell me I could save him. That really annoyed me. Also, I recognise that V is in no place to lecture him, and there is some wisdom to his quote: “You speak against corporations yet offer no valid alternative.” But, Goro, bro... anything is better than fascist mega corporations keeping most of the city in absolute poverty, while waging devastating wars against other mega corporations? I wish we could have opened his eyes a little. There’s a good, even ground between Takemura believing Corps to be doing the best for humanity and Johnny being willing to kill 12k people for a revolution. This game went a little “capitalism is bad, but the alternative is worse!” at times, in my opinion. I wish more could have been done against the corporations, instead they just kind of... exist... in the background. And I know, “Realism! “ because we live with massive corporations like Amazon in our lives and can do fuck all about them but we’re not V. V is an absolute unit who survives death multiple times... I wish there had been two paths, like do Johnny’s path and work against the system or do Takemura’s path and work with the system? Sort of like The Witcher 2?

You know how in Saints Row, The Boss has homies they can call on for help? I wanted V to have homies to help them out in fights. It felt pointless building trust with the Fixers only to not have them help out at all with fights against the NCPD/Militech/Arasaka in their territories. 

The stealth mechanics are not good. They are funny! But not very good. Often, It’s better to just attack and save yourself the trouble of sneaking only to get caught by a guard who can see through the back of his head.

The fact that you cannot get arrested and have someone bust you out of jail. Maybe RDR2 set my expectations too high, but I thought this would have been included.

I’ve read about the cut content, and I’m really disappointed they weren’t included in the game. Wall running would have been amazing! And the police hiring mercs to hunt V down? I would have loved to see it! 😔

Driving cars is terrible. Just awful. Sometimes, you crash. Other times you’re flung up into the air and break through the sky into the void, spinning for all eternity.

River’s glitched romance deserves a special mention. The relationship just drops off suddenly and you cannot interact with him properly again. It does not affect the main story at all, so you wonder, what was the point? The text messages also glitch and V will sent messages that you can’t control, leading to disappointing dialogue, like with Joss.

The romances in general were just not all that impressive. I was expecting something great, considering there was only 4 and thought they’d really affect the main story, but I’d only recommend Panam and Judy. I would have played the game just as well without romances, and they felt very unnecessary but I wanted to do one to get the most possible story content. I think we should all leave romances in RPG’s as the exception, not the norm. Some studio’s can do them well, other’s cannot. CDPR cannot, in my opinion...

Obviously the many glitches and bugs, several of which are game breaking. I usually have to reload a save at least once an hour, because an NPC won’t talk to me or I can’t move the mouse to select different dialogue options! Or my gun won’t equip, so I die.

The AI in general is very bad. Sometimes cars will stop in the middle of junctions for no reason, causing you to crash or mount the sidewalk to get past, meaning you’ll likely run someone down and get a police warrant. NPCs just walk from one end of the road and back again, over and over on a loop. It’s very creepy!

The lighting, mostly inside buildings. Everything is pitch black! Why does V not own a flashlight? The amount of enemies I’ve barrelled into and alerted because I couldn’t see is too much.

The lack of dialogue choice, it was less interactive than what I’d been told to expect. There was only two or three options, with one only ever rarely being unique to one of V’s three possible background choices and most will yield the same results with a few exceptions, like avoiding combat.

V’s personality is already decided by the game, and is not really customisable. Do not expect full control over your V’s personality, as they are very much a canon character and exist outside of your (limited) choices. I didn’t expect Baldur's Gate 3 levels of customisation, but I did expect something more like Dragon Age 2’s dialogue wheel? Nice, Sarcasm and Angry? You know?

Obviously, the seizure inducing scenes were very dangerous. I get a headache whenever I have to do a braindance, and I wish it was skippable!

Accessibility as a whole is very much an afterthought in this game, I think. The subtitles are in “speaking English”, so instead of: Hey, how are you? It’s: Heyyy, how’re ya? It is often difficult to understand, and sometimes I just couldn’t work out what was being said.

It’s nitpicky but I wanted to do a pacifist route and I realised you can’t, you need to kill certain character’s... 

The main “villains” such as Yorinobu and Adam Smasher were very forgettable, and V had no personal stake in taking them out. I honestly forgot all about them. Takemura was talking about revenge and I’m like, who? Who are you talking about? Why are we kidnapping Hanako Arasaka, again? Johnny, why would I bother killing Adam Smasher? If they’d personally murdered Jackie, then yeah, I’d understand! But all V needs is to remove the chip and I don’t know... I just didn’t feel anything.

So, to summarise: I think CDPR were out of their depth. The long, very long, troubled development process was an indication of this before the game was even released, and the story I’ve experienced in the game is proof enough. I don’t think they knew what they wanted from this game, and as a result, we have a game that is honestly very confusing and frustrating with a story that always got close to gripping, but never quite makes it. All in all, I found this game to be pretty average. When the bugs are ironed out, I will think better of it. But as it stands, if I had to score it, I would give it a 6.5/10 or maybe 7/10. Good concept, somewhat misguided execution. The best part of the game was the Johnny/V dynamic, but I wasn’t satisfied with how it ended. They needed more time together! Anyway, it will be interesting to see what happens next. 

[sebeth]

Doom Patrol: “Pilot”

Warning, Spoilers Ahead…

S

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 Doom Patrol, Episode One: “Pilot”

 Love the opening credits. Creepy and evocative of the Doom Patrol’s “mad scientist” origins.

Paraguay, 1948: We begin with a snarky narrator and a visit to a Von Furchs, a Nazi fugitive. He is infamous for his scientific experimentation.

Von Furch changes a Mr. Morden into Mister Nobody. Nobody is a villain from the Vertigo Doom Patrol series.

We fast forward to 1988 in Florida. We are at the pre-transformation home of professional race car driver Cliff Steele. A married Cliff is having an affair with the nanny. Cliff’s wife tells him to “crash and die”. Cliff crashes after his wife distracts him.

Cliff regains consciousness after Niles transports his body into a robot form.

I can only imagine the horror Cliff felt upon regaining consciousness.

Did Cliff’s wife consent to this procedure or did Niles simply steal Cliff’s brain? Was the wife working with the Chief? It’s revealed in the Vertigo series that Niles was behind the accidents that caused the members’ misfortunes.

Cliff realizes he’s regained consciousness in 1995. Niles informs Cliff that the world believes he died in 1988?

Rita reveals the truth to Cliff- only his brain survived and it’s encased in a robot body.

Rita tells Cliff: “We need to talk about expectations. And then we need to take those expectations, give them a gentle pat, and flush them into the ocean.”

I’m sensing Rita has been disappointed numerous times in her life.

Rita tells Niles that “Everyone deserves the truth.”

The team members have to stop pushing the off button on Cliff’s body. How can he adjust if they press the off button whenever he has a reaction?

Niles introduces Cliff to Larry. Larry gives Cliff a tour of the place.

Cliff asks Larry about his story.

Flashback origin time for Larry.

California, 1961: Mister Nobody states Larry was an “Atomic Age sex machine”: a USAF test pilot and on the short list for the NASA Mercury mission. Larry was also a married man with children.

Larry flies an experimental NASA rocket plane. Larry encounters an alien energy high up in the atmosphere. The energy destroys the controls on the ship. The plane crashes and burns Larry alive.

Back to the present day – Cliff is attempting to learn how to climb steps in his new body.

Cliff asks Larry what “Drinky’s” deal is. To be fair, every time Cliff has seen Rita she has had a martini in her hand.

Cliff struggles with the reality and limitations of his new form.

Cliff asks Niles if anyone has left “this place”. Niles informs Cliff that “Some have. Some come and go. Others life Larry and Rita prefer to stay. But to be perfectly honest, those who leave find it’s often more difficult for the world out there to accept who they’ve become than they do.”

The line of dialogue allows for other characters to enter and leave the plot.  I wonder if we will see some of the other members of the various incarnations of the Doom Patrol? We know Crazy Jane and Cyborg are coming to the show.

We discover Rita enjoys knitting while Larry prefers horticulture.

I love Rita’s clothing style. Very fashionable.

Rita origin flashback.

She was the queen of 1950s’ cinema. She was also a diva.

Rita was in Africa filming a movie. The dock she was on collapses and she falls into the water. She’s exposed to a strange substance in the water. She emerges from the water with her body collapsing around her. Possible karma as Rita was having trouble looking at a disfigured man while filming the movie.

Cliff makes it up the steps! Achievement unlocked!

Niles tells Cliff that his brain has been altering his memoires to help him cope.

Cliff plays a phone message the Chief used to replicate his voice.

We flashback to the car race. Cliff avoided the car crash and won the race. His wife looks shocked about his survival. Cliff, rather hypocritically, attacks the man he suspects of having an affair with his wife.

Cliff has another romp with Giselle, the nanny, in his trailer. He calls his wife: “I don’t know what happened to us. I’m going to be better. I know it’s late. I don’t even know if you care how sorry I am.”

Cliff goes to his wife’s parents’ house to retrieve her and his daughter.

I’m getting a really bad feeling about what’s going to happen.

A distracted Cliff drives into a semi-truck. Kate and Clara die in the crash. Cliff was the only survivor.

Wow, the show writers managed to make Cliff’s origin even more tragic than it was in the comics.

Mister Nobody informs us “The years pass and it’s all so depressing that I just can’t.”

In 2002, Larry paints a canvas of racing cars for Cliff. Larry is so sweet!

Cliff spends a decade working on a town/race car model track.

It’s 2019 and we hear a female voice yelling “I’m back”.

Rita: “Oh, goody.” Rita is clearly not a fan.

Robotman: “Who?”

Cliff’s been in the house since 1988 and he hasn’t met Jane yet? How old is she supposed to be?

“Meet Jane. Some people call her Crazy Jane. Sixty-four personas each with their own special power.”

Jane is going to be fun. The Rita and Jane dynamic should be a blast.

After a rocky start, Cliff and Jane bond. Cliff was protective of Jane in the Vertigo series too.

We meet several of Jane’s personalities in the episode:

1)      Jane

2)      Sylvia

3)      Hammerhead

4)      Hangman’s Daughter

5)      The unnamed energy being

The Chief decides to resume his occasional travels in the world. The gang’s heard the spiel so much they say it with him.

The gang decides to head into town. When dad’s away, the kids will play.

Rita nervously enters a diner. She meets a fan.

Jane and Cliff head to a toy store to buy a present for his daughter’s birthday. Cliff and Jane bonds over his pre-death stupidity.

Larry finally leaves the bus and enters a bar.

Rita discovers it was rumored to be drunk and doing porn. An emotional Rita begins to lose control over her bodily form.

Jane urges Cliff to call his daughter. Cliff states his daughter is dead. Jane asks “According to who?” Jane claims Clara survived the crash. It’s on the internet. Jane urges Cliff to call his daughter but he destroys her phone.

It didn’t take long for the writers to start the “Chief’s a lying liar who lies” card.

We flashback to Larry, pre-transformation. Larry, a married man, was having an affair with a male member of his ground crew.

The memories trigger Larry and blue light begins to emit from his body.

Rita continues to lose control of her body, turning into a huge oozing mass that breaks through the storm and emerges on to the street.

Jane changes personalities while urging Jane to get a hold of herself.

Larry loses control and the negative energy being emerges from his body.

Rita and Larry’s respective freak-outs are causing massive damage to the town.

Cliff asks Jane: “What should we do?”

Jane responds by changing personalities and transforming into a fire/energy being.

“No! We’re not doing that!”

Cliff saves the day by stopping Rita in her tracks.

The team heads home. Niles arrives back in town as television media is reporting the day’s events.

Niles briefly sees a donkey in his rearview mirror.

Niles arrives home and he’s not happy. Niles heads to the lab and looks at photos. One has a man holding a leashed donkey. The photos appear to be from the time Morden transformed into Mister Nobody.

Niles informs the team their actions have consequences. He has enemies and they will come for the team. He wants the team packed up and ready to leave asap.

Cliff asks about the town. Niles tells him the town isn’t his concern.

“So the town get’s screwed.”

Niles yells at Jane, Cliff yells at Niles – he’s ticked about the Chief lying about his daughter’s death.

Cliff wants to stay and fight but the rest of the team votes to leave with the Chief.

The team leaves but Cliff stays to protect the town.

Jane urges the team to return and fight with Cliff. The team, except for Niles, agrees.

Rita: “I can’t promise I won’t be disgusting, but yes.”

Mister Nobody teleports aboard the bus and taunts Niles.

The donkey approaches the team and farts a message into the sky: “The mind is the limit.”

A black hole appears in the street and begins swallowing the team.

Cliff: “What the f***?”

Great first episode. Loved the soundtrack. We had “Fresh” by Kool and the Gang, “Fox On The Run” by Sweet, “Rebel Yell” by Billy Idol, and “People Are Strange” by the Doors.

Mister Nobody, visually and voiced, is more fun than he was in the comic book series.

Niles is manipulative and creepy. In many ways, he is the greatest enemy of the Doom Patrol.

Each character received their fair share of focus in the episode. We were able to see their origins and their distinct personalities.

It’s refreshing to see characters that don’t have “big damn heroes” as their default mode. Rita and Cliff weren’t the most likable people before their accidents. Larry led a secret life even before the plane crash. All three were horribly traumatized during their accidents and resulting transformations and have lived decades in fear and secrecy as “freaks”.  That combination is very hard to overcome to become heroic defenders of mankind.

An excellent debut. Highly recommended.

[teamhawkeye]

So I’ve had a while now to reflect after finishing up the Far Cry New Dawn story

WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

It...was a mixed bag overall. There were some things i liked - but there was a whole lot i didn’t like

The Good

The landscape. Hope County has always been gorgeous and it was nice to see it post-Collapse blooming and thriving for the most part

The music. Love it or hate it, it fit the Mad Max-esque theme the Highwaymen had going for them, both score and licensed soundtrack

Improvements in gameplay. Specifically with the GFH. I used Boomer almost exclusively in FC5 and two of my biggest complaints were 1.) he was not able to ride in vehicles with me and i felt bad making him run behind me everywhere and 2.) even with a ton of perks, he was very easily incapacitated by enemies. With Timber, they gave him the ability to ride in vehicles so you no longer have to feel bad about making him walk and they buffed him greatly in comparison to Boomer - he was often like a little walking tank and I greatly appreciated that they took those things into consideration and made tweaks there.

New Photo Mode. oh my god, YES. it still wasn’t perfect by any means, but my god, it was soooooo nice to be able to give your Captain life and emotion!

The Outpost system. Escalating difficulty so you could go back and still have a challenge even as you advanced your perks and weapons was a nice touch, so things never got too easy or stale in that area

Expeditions. It was fun being able to leave Hope County for a bit and see new locations and spend some time doing stuff other than milking the Outposts for ethanol

The Not-So Good

Abandoning characters from FC5. They may be dead and gone, but how are John and Faith and Jacob so glossed over? John maybe had the best fortune in nods to him and the last game, having both his ranch and bunker serve as important locations in New Dawn...but what about Faith and Jacob? Why was there no mention whatsoever to Eli, Whitehorse, Pratt, Hudson, or Dutch? And beyond the dead from FC5′s canon story, what about missing Resistance members? Jess Black, Wheaty, Tammy, Tweak...what happened to them? why were we given no closure on their stories at all? There was so little time spent reflecting on the events of the previous game or its characters - it very much felt like “they’re dead, not questions now, move on”...but the characters of the last game were a big part of what made it so great and it felt like a great disservice to the fans to have them swept under the rug like that.

Main story. I mean...what the fuck even was that last third part of the game??? The first third of the game started off on solid footing but it went off the rails well before the end. And there seemed to be a severe lack of cohesion between what we saw and learned in FC5 to what we see and learn in New Dawn. Joseph’s story about his daughter seems far less important knowing he had some bastard son hanging around one of the bunkers the whole time - why was there never any allusion to him whatsoever? He certainly felt shoehorned in as a result. And how is it one of the Big rules of Eden’s Gate was “no fornication” but Joseph can get away with it? That doesn’t line up with the antagonist we faced off with all of FC5. And what was with the magic??? Like, there was a touch of that in FC5 with the Bliss and the scope of just what it could do...but a ton of the Bliss’s power could be argued to be auditory and visual hallucinations. There was just straight up...magic to explain some of the weird things they included in New Dawn and it made that make some of it feel weak and hollow

Disservice to its villains. Mickey and Lou were done dirty, it’s just that plain and simple. Ubisoft didn’t give them much of anything to do and wasted all their potential. One of the main draws of FC5 was just how good the villains were and one of the largest complaints i saw from FC5 was just how much more interaction we all wanted with them. New Dawn gave their villains a backseat to almost everything else going on in the game. Mickey and Lou almost felt detached from the story at times. With the FC5, one of the best things about the Seeds was how connected they felt to everything you did: they met you face to face a number of times, radioed in constantly to taunt and harass you, upped the ante when you put the heat on them...with Mickey and Lou, it never felt like they actually took you seriously. Or didn’t even care, despite saying otherwise. They address you directly maybe once all game aside from when you have cutscenes with them face-to-face. Their strongest moment was in their defeat and it showed what major potential they had as antagonists - and to be sympathetic as well - and Ubisoft really blew it there and that’s one of the biggest shames

Disservice to its new characters. The new Resistance/Survivor characters got shafted too. You could easily go all game without knowing a single thing about any of the new GFH or Specialists for Prosperity - there’s just not the time to really get to know them or even like them all that much. Rush was certainly built up...to only be kidnapped and potentially left untouched for quite some time and when you go to rescue him, he’s sidelined immediately with very little interaction with him thereafter. His death wasn’t nearly as poignant as Eli or Virgil’s from FC5 - those were two characters who were constantly talking in your ear or available to talk to and help progress the story along. Rush was put there simply to die and give the Captain motivation to keep going and it’s a damn shame since he deserved better - don;t get me wrong, I liked him and was affected by his death, but the emotional impact there is just not as strong when Ubisoft gave him so little time or opportunity to really get close to him like previous installments did with characters. 

Expeditions. I know i said this was a good thing - and largely it is - but it was so small and underused, it was such a letdown. They kinda touted Expeditions as being a replacement for Arcade of FC5, which made me think there was going to be a ton of locations to explore and replay...but in reality, you got like 6 maps and that’s all. Maybe they’ll add more, but that seemed like that got hyped up for nothing

Scale. I get that this was a smaller game, reflected in the time it took to crank it out and the lower price, but god does it feel small. You can almost count how many missions there are on two hands. There were so few collectibles or side missions - idk what’s supposed to be the draw after finishing the main story when you have virtually nothing left to do. And beyond the game’s play length, the map was chopped in half and it was bullshit, quite frankly. Why the hell is the Bliss so concentrated now up in Jacob’s region - shouldn’t that have been the Henbane, since that’s where it was focused and created and still polluted the water there even after destroying Faith’s bunker? It felt cheap to carve off chunks of the map under the guise of “oooh, radiation zone! turn back!” We should have been allowed to explore the remains of Faith’s and Jacob’s bunker, of the Wolf’s Den, or finally be allowed inside the Veteran’s Center! Or go back to the chopper crash site on Joseph’s compound, the truck where Hudson, Pratt, and Whitehorse died on Dutch’s Island, or the truck Burke crashed into the river in the Henbane - all were completely gone and that felt super cheap, like they made no lasting impact when they were such huge moments in FC5. I feel like the two things most of us were excited to do when we learned we were returning to Hope County were learning about what happened to the characters of FC5 and seeing references to those who were lost and then to be able to explore and investigate every corner of the map we had in the previous game to see how the landscape how changed in every place we once knew so well.

Replay value. Honestly, aside from a second playthrough to sweep up achievements/trophies i didn’t get the first time around, i’m not all that inclined to keep the game installed on my console’s harddrive and replay it. If anything, playing this game has reminded me of everything i loved so much about FC5 and made me homesick for it - i’m already yearning to return to pre-Collapse Hope County and i haven’t even been done with New Dawn for 24 hours. It’s a shame when i so love the story that spawned this sequel, but it doesn’t possess any of the heart and soul that the original has.

There’s probably more i’m forgetting, but i’ve been typing for a while now and my brain has called it quits. I just know i went in with too high of expectations and was always going to be disappointed when New Dawn didn’t measure up to FC5...but it fell so short and that is the biggest issue i have. It could have been so much more and that’s the real tragedy

[lostinfic]

Dissonance and Harmony | 6

Pairing: Roderick Peterson (Nativity 2) x Alison Crosby (The Canterbury Tales).

*You don’t need to have seen either film.*

Summary: Alison wants to boost her pop music career whereas Roderick needs to restore his reputation in the world of classical music. Neither of them is above using “irregular” means to get what they want, so when she joins his choir, they are in a unique position to help each other… if only they could get along.

Rating: M  |  Word count: 4k

A/N: I'm far from a music expert, researching songs for a mash-up was holding me back from writing so I had to make up one of the songs.

Ao3

♪ ♪ ♪

Alison still can’t believe Roderick not only agreed to add mashed-up songs to their repertoire— on a trial basis only— but has also invited her to his home.

She stands on the sidewalk, staring at his beautiful Georgian building in Kensington and its liveried doorman. Her phone pings with text messages from Marcus, Janet and Abel.

“How’s it going?”

“What’s his place like?”

“I bet he has one of those hairless cats”

“He’s not a Bond villain!” Alison replies.

“He looks like one”

“Ali watch out for shark tanks lol”

She mutes her phone and heads in.

Roderick greets her with a smile she can only describe as uncertain. Perhaps he’s as surprised as her by her presence in his apartment.

Inside his own home, she expected him to wear a different outfit, more casual than his typical turtleneck and jacket, but he’s not. And he still calls her “Miss Crosby”. Everything to indicate this is no different than their regular choir meetings.

Alison hangs her jacket by the door, regretting her leopard print crop top and pink dungarees.

“Where’s your music?” he asks. She holds up a USB thumb drive. “Convenient but poor quality. Would you care for a drink?”

“Sure, whatever you’re having. What’s your poison?”

“Mint tea.”

“Oh. Spiked with rum?”

She follows him into the open-plan kitchen on the left. It has the same sleek minimalism as the theater, white cupboards without knobs, bare countertops. Where’s all your stuff, she wants to ask.

Beyond the black marble island, the living room stretches to high bay windows, a baby grand piano stands in front of them. The sun is setting over Holland Park, and orange rays play across the glossy black lid of the Steinway.

It’s beautiful but empty, something out of a magazine, the bones of a home she wants to flesh out with silly cookie jars and fuzzy blankets.

Roderick prepares two cups of tea.

“Don’t you have a butler or something to do that for you?” she jokes.

“I gave him the night off.”

“Wha’, really?”

“No.”

He hands her a steaming mug. She detects a hint of alcohol in it.

In the living room, opposite the leather couch, where a TV usually stands, shelves line the wall, stacked to the ceiling with vinyls, CDs as well as pictures and awards. Everything symmetrically arranged.

Alison whistles and takes a closer look.

“You must think it’s vain,” Roderick says.

“Nah, I have a wall of my achievements too, mind you it’s not as impressive.”

The first photo to catch her eye is one of Roderick holding two babies. His twin brother’s sons, he explains with warmth in his voice, he has already started introducing them to classical music.

“Very cute,” Alison says.

“Yes, they are.”

“I was talking about you.” She winks to indicate it’s another one of her flirting jokes.

Roderick rolls his eyes. “Shall we begin our research?”

But Alison is more interested in looking at the other pictures. Many of them are of his former choirs. She picks one up: Roderick fifteen years younger, a jacket too large for his slim body, wire-framed glasses, smiling with pride.

“Do you prefer conducting children or adults?”

“It’s different. I like both… But shaping young minds, giving them the gift of music and self-discipline, it’s very rewarding.”

He wipes specks of dust off several frames, lost in souvenirs, smiling to himself. They’re obviously important to him.

Maybe one day we’ll be on that shelf too.

“You know, for what it’s worth,” she says, “you gave me that gift too. The self-discipline. And I appreciate choral music a lot more.”

“As you should. I’ll fetch my laptop for your music.”

So much for trying to make him feel better.

Roderick sets his Macbook Air down on the coffee table. Meanwhile, she pulls a list of songs from her front pocket, suggestions sent by her friends, and reviews it.

As he browses her music collection, she peruses the albums on his shelves.

Alison loves every genre, from K-pop to opera, traditional Celtic ballads to hip hop, and Bollywood movie soundtracks, of course. As far as she’s concerned, there’s no such thing as a guilty pleasure. Roderick’s collection, on the other hand, consists exclusively of classical music, some contemporary composers and a little jazz.

“No Led Zep or Beatles? That’s your generation, innit?”

“My generation?” He scoffs. “I’ve been listening to Mozart since I was in the womb.”

She picks a few CDs at random and scans the songs listed on the back. As it happens, one is an album of Mozart’s piano sonatas. On the cover, there’s a painting of the composer as a child.

“How old was Mozart when he wrote his first piece?”

“His first simple one, that was around 5 years old.”

“Wow. And you?”

“Seven.”

Alison’s jaw drops, and she takes her eyes off the CDs to stare at him.

“You’re a proper prodigy. Still, you must’ve had like a teenage rebellious phase where you listened to The Clash or something.”

She tries to picture him as a teenager with acne and spiked hair, but she can’t.

“My father forbade other genres of music,” he explains. “My brother Donald did have a phase like that, and that’s why he’s a primary school teacher and I have an O.B.E.”

“As long as he loves his job, that’s what matters.”

“I’m happy with my work,” he retorts. “For your information, I do listen to other music. Sometimes. It’s necessary in my work. I’m not a neophyte.”

“Like what? Name one popular artist you genuinely love.”

He ponders her question for some time while Alison taps her fingernails on the shelf.

“Queen,” he finally answers.

Alison agrees wholeheartedly with him. However, when she suggests they use one of Queen’s songs for a mash-up, he rejects the idea right away, calling it “sacrilegious”.

“Who is your favourite composer?” Roderick asks in return.

Is it a test? What if she picks the wrong composer? She bites her thumb nail, as she frantically searches her memory for a name. “Vivaldi?”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m sure I’ve some Vivaldi on that USB drive. Look, I don’t know, okay? I really do love classical music, and I’m trying to learn more about it, but the titles are all the same: symphony No.8, No.3, No. 4., Opus 8. And all the Russian names and Italian ones sound the same.”

She expects a sneer or a lesson, but he says, “I envy you in a way. You have such wonderful music yet to discover. I wish I could listen to my favourite composers for the first time again. Erase my memory and relive that instinctive reaction to the melody.”

“So, who’s your fave?”

The look on his face isn’t unlike a kid’s who would have to choose between a kitten and a puppy. He scans the shelves and picks a record. The sleeve is worn out, the corners peeled to the brown cardboard. He lays the disc on the turntable and delicately places the needle over it. “Close your eyes.”

Alison sits down next to him, legs crossed, and closes her eyes.

The piece starts slowly with light, ethereal flutes. As more instruments join in, the tempo increases. Bouncy woodwinds, then a staccato of strings, counterbalanced by somber brass. Percussion thunders in. The melody surges into a crescendo that makes her heart beat faster, and ebbs to a wistful air, like a stream in a forgotten forest. A lump rises in her throat. When the song ends, she keeps her eyes close for a few seconds, savouring the chill the finale gave her.

“That was gorgeous.”

“Has a pop song ever done that to you?” he asks insolently.

“Many times, as a matter of fact.”

She scrolls through her music library to the letter L.

“Leonard Cohen, that’s cheating,” Roderick declares.

“Fair enough. So, do you think using his ‘Hallelujah’ would be sacrilegious too?” He hesitates, but Alison insists. “If you don’t want us to use commercial songs from pop stars because you don’t think they’re good enough, and none from artists you respect, I don’t know how we’re going to do this.” She crosses her arms on her chest. “Was that your plan all along? Agree, but then make it impossible?”

“No… but that song is in quadruple meter, it’s uncommon. Then again I suppose there are plenty of Hallelujah songs in choral music, maybe we can find one that will fit.”

“That’d be brilliant!”

He writes the title down on a notepad, and they start searching for other songs.

In order to create mash-ups, the songs must have the same meter and chords so the musical elements can be seamlessly laid on top of one another. But the songs must also carry similar emotions and themes.

They set to work, queuing songs on the computer and pulling albums off his shelves.

With each piece, Roderick shares some trivia about the composers. “Did you know Schoenberg had a phobia of the number 13? And he died on April 13th.” Or “Mozart wrote the overture to Don Giovanni on the morning of the premiere, whilst he had a massive hangover.” “Tchaikovsky, now he was a piece of work, he would hold his chin while conducting because he was afraid his head would fall off.”

Alison cracks up with each fun fact and asks for more. His limitless knowledge amazes her. Although she’s learning, Roderick is not in teacher mode; his eyes sparkle, and his whole demeanour bursts with energy. He discards his jacket and ruffles his hair, and keeps changing track before the previous one is finished because he's too excited to make her hear the next one. “You’ll love Vivaldi’s ‘Gloria’.”

Alison shares her music and trivia too: Joan Jet, Elton John, Nirvana, ABBA. “You’re tapping your foot!” Alison points out gleefully.

“I’m not!”

“Yes you are, you love it.”

“It’s repetitive.”

“It’s catchy. Number one hit. Everyone loves it... Even you.”

She bumps him with her shoulder, and he sighs.

“Why won’t you admit it?” she asks.

“I’ve fought all my life against this type of commercial music.”

She rolls her eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with enjoying something catchy. Takes a bit of pressure off our shoulders. It’s a happy song, just go with it. It’s like Schumann said.”

“Quoting Schumann now, are we?”

“I am.” She juts out her chin. “More or less. I don’t remember the exact words. But he said that artists must send light into people’s hearts. ABBA does that.”

“You want light in your heart? Surely nothing can possibly surpass ‘Ode to Joy’.”

Beethoven’s ninth symphony starts slowly, and Alison pretends to snore just to taunt Roderick. But the music escalates, and when the voices join in with a jubilant “O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!” Alison springs to her feet and pretends to conduct the recorded choir. She waves her hands as she pleases in exuberant movements.

“No more tea for you. You don’t know what you’re doing,” Roderick says, but he’s laughing.

“I do know! I’m making a fool of myself.” She grins.

Roderick steps up behind her and places his hands on her upper arms.

“Let me show you.”

Despite the space he carefully left between them, his breath brushes her ear, and her breath catches in her throat.

He guides her arms to conduct properly, up and down, along the tempo. It’s a dance of sorts. Two bodies moving to the same rhythm.

“Hold it… now drop.”

A beat of silence and the symphony slows to one instrument, and Roderick moves her arms in long, smooth strokes. Slowly, the tempo increases again into a steady pounding of brass and chords. Her hands thrust through the air as the fortissimo builds up, faster and faster, toward the finale. Roderick’s grip tightens. Her breath quickens. Her heart beats louder than the fourth movement. The symphony reaches its climax. Notes and voices erupt in an intense finish.

The symphony ends and Roderick’s hands stay on her arms. She leans back against him. For a moment, everything is still. The vinyl crackles. His chest swells with sharp breath.

Another song begins and startles them.

“I can do your job now,” Alison jokes to dispel the tension. “More tea?”

She scurries to the kitchen with heated cheeks.

What was she thinking? He’s the conductor of her choir. And the only professional contact she has who might actually help her career.

By the time boiling water is poured in the cups, she’s convinced herself nothing happened.

“You would have liked Beethoven, I think,” Roderick says when she hands him the mug.

“The man himself, you mean?”

“Yes. Even when he started losing his hearing, he made a point of going out with his friends every day. He was a bon vivant.”

She wonders what that has to do with her. Is he saying she’s like Beethoven? Is that a compliment? A very roundabout compliment.

“I think that’s the nicest thing you ever said to me.”

“I know I’m not the most… genial person, but I hope you know I do think well of you, Alison.”

“I think well of you too.”

They smile at each other.

The thing is, even if he’s not the most expansive person when it comes to compliments and encouragements, and despite how much she craves validation, at least one always knows where they stand with him. He’s honest. For someone, like Alison, who has been fooled by flattery in the past, there’s some comfort in that.

They get back to work. The list of songs grows, but they have yet to be paired in a satisfactory mash-up. Roderick outright rejects many songs he deems too commercial (”mass-produced music is the very antithesis of art, it has no soul”), but overall he proves more open-minded than she expected.

They make each other listen to various pieces. Each song invites the other to step into their inner world. It’s not just trivia they’re telling now, but meaningful anecdotes associated with Haydn, Cher, Stravinsky and Tupac.

Time flies, but Roderick never forgets their task. It helps that he enjoys the musical gymnastics of fitting the songs together. Alison looks over his shoulder as he scribbles notes on blank music sheets. After one listen of the songs, he can already identify chords that overlap. His fluency is astounding.

“Can you find me Alessandrini?” he asks, still writing with one hand, the other pointing vaguely towards the shelves.

His collection is sorted in alphabetical order, she spots the album on the highest shelf, but she's shorter than him and has to stretch as high as she can to reach it. Unsteady on her tiptoes, she retrieves the album but also knocks a picture frame off the shelf. She catches it just in time: it’s a selfie of Roderick with Angel Matthews, on holiday judging by the palm trees in the background. Angel is his ex-girlfriend, or so the Internet told her, but if he still has a picture of her in his living room…

She's not even that pretty.

Roderick takes the photo out of her hands.

“I thought you’d broken up”, she says.

“We have.” He replaces the frame on the shelf, face down. “How do you know that?”

“I googled you.”

“Uh. What else did Google have to say?”

He knows. He’s definitely the kind of person who would search for his own name.

“The usual: career, discography… and that you stole a song from another school during a competition last year.”

His features harden. “I see.”

“Did you?”

“Tell me, Miss Crosby, do you think I could do something like that?”

“No. I— I don’t know. Maybe? But I can’t understand why you would.”

He’s a competitive person, and his desire to use Marcus’s handicap and Alison’s beauty to gain an advantage says a lot about that, and yet blatantly stealing another school’s original song right before the competition seems a step too far.

Without answering, Roderick picks up their empty mugs and disappears into the kitchen. Alison waits, wringing her hands. They were having such fun and she's ruined it. He's not going to think well of her now.

Roderick comes back with refilled cups. Alison chokes on the first sip, it’s more rum than tea this time.

He walks across the room to the windows, and back. Finally, he says, “At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing for my students. I was invited to this competition to give it some credibility. I was under the impression our victory was guaranteed. But when I saw the judges and the audience, I knew they would be swayed by emotional appeals and catchy tunes, rather than our musical excellence. My kids were perfect but what if the judges didn’t see that? And there was my brother and my father there.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I made a bad decision. It was blown out of proportion by my detractors.”

“Is that why Angel broke up with you?”

“No. If anything, she encouraged me. But when it turned into a scandal, well…” He shrugs and goes to sit on the leather couch. He takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Alison isn’t convinced by his explanation. After some hesitation and a few more sips of rum for courage, she sits down next to him.

His straight back progressively hunches over as he circles the rim of his mug with his finger.

“It happened at a peculiar time in my life,” he says without looking at her. “The problem with being a prodigy is that one’s career begins early and therefore… ends early.”

“Are you thinking of retiring? You’re not even 40 yet.”

“I don’t want to. I’m not ready to let music go, but what if she’s ready to let go of me?”

“Oh, Roderick. You always look so confident, I had no idea.” She tentatively strokes his arm.

“Don’t take pity on me.”

“I don’t. I sympathize. I know exactly how that feels.”

He scoffs. “You’re too young.”

“Okay, maybe not exactly, but when I had my birthday last August, I felt like I was getting too old for this, so I told myself I had to make significant progress in my career this year or I would quit. The choir is my last chance.”

“Mine too,” he says.

What a pair they make.

“No, it’s not. It can’t be. You’re a bloody genius. And, you know what, I’m not that old. We’re so daft.”

Roderick chuckles and pats her hand. A fond, but almost paternal gesture, except his hand lingers on top of hers, his thumb rubs along her knuckles. Their eyes meet, he’s not hiding behind his severe glasses anymore, he’s letting her see him, and her heart melts. She gives his hand a little squeeze.

Roderick’s ears perk up, and he looks to the computer. “What is this?”

“Uh? Oh, that’s Florence and the Machine, I think. Yeah, ‘Shake It Out’.”

“This has great potential for choral arrangement.”

Roderick puts his glasses back on and hurries to the piano. He finds the partition online, gives it a cursory glance, and, after another listen, plays the first verse on the piano. Just like that.

“You know the lyrics? Go on.”

Alison sings the intro A Capella, “Regrets collect like old friends Here to relive your darkest moments I can see no way, I can see no way And all of the ghouls come out to play”

He holds her gaze as they adjust to each other’s rhythm. He tweaks the song here and there as she keeps singing. He’s got an idea, she can tell, he slows down after the chorus and he’s looking at her, expecting a reaction, an understanding.

“Wait, play that last part again,” Alison says.

Pride curves his lips into a smile.

“It’s like…”

“Yes.”

“Opus 16!”

He replays the passage and segues into the second movement of Ralph Vaughan Williams’s “Opus 16”, a song the choir already knows.

“We have our mash-up!” Alison says, clapping her hands.

“I think we might.”

They analyse the two songs side by side, trying out different points of transition and choral arrangements.

“Does it work thematically too?” Alison asks.

“Yes, it’s about rising from dark times. Williams wrote it after a hard time in his life, when he thought he’d lost his muse. See this line here: ante lucem tenebris it means dark before light.”

“I had no idea.”

‘Opus 16’ has never been one of her favourite chorals, she liked that it was a bit more upbeat, but now that she understands its meaning, she’s excited to sing it.

She can see it so clearly in her mind’s eye: the concert begins in a very traditional way, they’re in formation, wearing those black robes, singing the classics. And then “Shake It Out” begins, she steps to the front of the stage and discards her robe. Her colleagues follow suit and maybe dance a little. The lighting changes too, curtains part behind them to reveal colourful stage props. The second part of the concert consists of upbeat songs and more mash-ups. People in the audience stand up and clap their hands.

Roderick arches a dubious eyebrow at her suggestion.

“It’d be brilliant,” Alison insists.

“I’ll think about it.”

She stands by the piano and they go through the first half of “Shake It Out”. After the chorus, he slows the tempo, they stay in sync, eyes trained on each other, nodding along the notes. The transition into “Opus 16” is a little rough, but it works.

When she hits the high note in the third verse, her voice falters. Roderick abruptly stops playing, and the disappointment in his eyes cuts her deeper than any of his harsh words ever has before.

“I can do it,” she quickly says. “I’ll work day and night.”

“Clarissa would be able to do it.”

“No! I will. I can do it.”

“You must do it,” he says. “Again, from the top.”

Alison straightens her shoulders and gets ready to sing, but after three cups of tea, she needs the toilet.

From the bathroom, she hears the music Roderick is listening to on the computer. He selects more songs by Florence + The Machine.

She smiles smugly to herself. She did it. She changed his mind.

He skips to another song: “I know that it’s over They say that time’s a healer I’m ready to rise again”

“Oh no no.” She stands up from the toilet, but she’s not done pissing. “Fuck.” She hurries as much as she can.

When she returns to the living room, the song is still playing and Roderick’s face is a haughty grimace.

“Is that you?” he asks.

“Yeah, it’s an original song I recorded a while back. In Canterbury.”

“It’s horrendous.”

Alison flinches. His words sting.

“Yeah, it’s silly. Can you stop it?”

“My pleasure. Let’s try the mash-up again, shall we?”

“Actually, it’s getting late, I should go."

“Already?"

I’ve to go if I want to catch the last bus.”

“The bus? At this hour? You must take a taxi. It’s safer.”

“It’s kind of a long ride, I can’t really afford it.”

“Let me call you one, I will put it on my tab.”

Before she can protest, he’s on the phone. She’s too tired to put up a fight.

“He will be here in ten minutes.”

Roderick holds up her coat so she might slip it on.

“I’ll wait downstairs,” she says.

“You’re welcome to wait here.”

“Nah.”

“Okay. In that case, thank you for your help.”

After shifting awkwardly on his feet, he holds up a hand for her to shake.

“Sure. See ya later, Mr. Peterson.”

[squidsy24]

The Or is it

Yes it's a ddadds post no I don't care that much if you hate it but I've tried writing the is like 3 times and bits always to long so personalise it for your dad Sona I'll give a summary of what happens with mine when this shit happens

so there's a not secret ending I found when I played ddadds the 3rd time I was going for the okest dad achievement and bits was like oh let's try to ace the wall Mary home scene (I didn't) and in the okest dad thing you have to sleep with Robert (love that but he is a shit head after) so you get ditched by both your kid and Joe and you have to clean up the party it's sad as shit dadsona keeps whispering to him self that it will all be ok and its sad I nearly cried with him so I'll do the first part of what happens 8months after and the rest fill in with things from your dad's on (I'll Sumerize mine)

SHOWTIME 🖤

"Keep the change" The driver accepts the money and drives off you put in i two earbuds play a soundtrack called sad shit Amanda made it back in high school ok Neil you got your shift covered at the hospital and have the next day off you can be sad now o thought while swinging my legs over the wooden railing so my feet were closer to the edge of the cliff time passes by I didn't even notice my playlist was almost done I just sat there music on blast knowing I could cry I'm alone but no tears formed I noticed some rocks in front of my feet I grab them and through after each phrase "I'm sorry Amanda! I'M SORRY I DIDN'T RAISE YOU RIGHT! I'M SORRY ALEX I MESSED UP OUR KID! I'M SORRY... I'm so sorry everyone sorry I wasn't strong sorry I'm weak sorry I'm SORRY! " I slowly stood up with each rock but after the last one I crumbled to the ground way am oi such a failure I mess up everything I put my head in my hands and cried softly when all of a sudden a hand was on my back I was too scared to look up but big pulled out one of the earbuds after the song finished I spoke trying to not break "if your here to kill me just do it quickly " I look up slowly but didn't look at who was next to me "well actually Neil I'm here to tell you I'm pregnant and your the father... I haven't been with a man since " Confused I looked up pulling out the other ear buds it was Robert I chuckled" Well Io messed up my last kid so I don't think I'll be the best father to the fetus in you guys but I will pay child support" He chuckled " Now tell me what has gotten my baby daddy so sad " I looked out to the skyline "you don't care about it your just making small talk I'd you wanna be alone I can leave" He looked away from me and toward the city" I hate small talk kid and although it is pleasnt to be alone I don't think you should be " "My stress won't be good on the baby and plus I got a friend" I lift up my bottle of Jack Daniels "me and jack here were gonna have fun" I take a swing Robert looks to be willing? "Listen kid in not one for sappy shit and this kid is already messed up from my stress so lay it on me and after I would love to hangout with you and jack" I look down at his project it looks like a lion? "Well if you must know I'll tell the tale mostly cause I just need to talk. My husband died 11 years ago leaving me a single dad with Amanda things were good I thought when we moved to the culdasac I thought it would be good to have a change of scene to be honest when I saw you in the coffee shop I thought you seemed cool and well honestly hot but before what ever happened with us happened I met Joseph ya know wanting what's wrong what's bad it's kinda a part of my self destruction and ya know what ever happened with us happened which I don't really regret it I do however regret falling for the pink sweater head ya know thinking we had something thinking he will leave Mary but nope got my heart broken little by little from you Amanda and Joseph I've just been working trying to distract myself from every thing. Also what ever happened with you and Joe" He stops widdling "what do you you mean there" I look at him in the eyes "I saw the photo the sweater everything hey I fell to joes just ugh " I offer him some of jack he nearly gulps it down he then spoke" I don't regret bit either ya know" I know in look puzzled but then I remember he means the night " Well you drank it all I'll have to kill you for that " He laughs whil pocketed his carveing and knife "ok fistfight right hear right now " I stand up " Ok " We both go it attack mode he almost hits me before he says "ya know I don't really wanna harm you come on I'll get you the refill" I agree that fall down would hurt I jokingly hit him in the shoulder "ok but you drive " " I can and will still fight you so don't touch me" We part off to his red truck the drive to the bar was silent but it was a comfortable silence.

Now here's what happened in short woth y dadsona but you can fill in how you want it to go

We both got drunk (me far more then Robert) I don't remember much I remember sneaking into the movies and falling asleep with his jacket on top of me when I woke up we drink more and I fell on a rock and split my head I was to nervous to go to my hospital and said I was fine although Robbie incested that he clean it or else I would die and he can't have another body on his hands going to his house made me remember the night we had it hasn't changed his dog bestsy snuggled me and I was inclined by dog code not to move Robert ordered a pizza with pineapple and black olives it was delicious (I accurate that last night 101/0) I wound up pucking it up on my shirt and I blacked out I woke up in a red shirt and Rick and Morty boxers with best on my side I walked down stairs to see Robert in my eorye onsie he was making eggs for me? He finished them and said my cloths were drying he then said to tell me before he left and went outside to smoke I accidentally stole his shirt and boxers but he kept my onsie so... He asked me out on another adventure when we weren't both being depressed it was great spending time with him and having someone to talk to we wonder up continuing our gun times we even went cryptic hunting he taught me how to widdle and it was wonder full we both opened up a part of ourselves and talked to our kids

Boom mic drop

Fill in what you don't like I just hattttttee the ending I got with Joseph and the okest dad I wanted things to change so nice did 🖤 love you Robbie🖤

[calliecat93]

RWBY V6 CH5 Review: The Coming Storm

It's been roughly about a month now since Volume 6 started... and ho boy, has this volume has not held back it's punches whatsoever. Within the span of four chapters we got a train wreck, long awaited questions answered, Cinder plotting her vengeance, and Salem reminding us why she is scary as Hell. We've been put through the wringer these past for weeks, and now with Chapter 5 upon us, we are all wondering how this can get anymore intense. Well delving into the horror genre seems to be a pretty good way! What do I mean? Well lets find out!

Overview

Before we check on our heroes though, lets check in on Cinder The good news for her is that Lil' Miss Malachite has gotten the information that she wanted. She informs the Fall Maiden of the good guys heading for Argus, which causes Cinder to conclude that they're heading for Atlas next. She starts to head off... until Lil' Miss refers to her by name. As it turns out, Cinder was quite the interesting figure. So much so that it brought the information broker double the business. How you may ask? Well the camera cuts to above where we see a figure standing on a  beam... and carrying with her a familiar looking parasol That's right my friends, after three volumes and a ton of teasing, Neo has made her return.

Neo wastes no time, attacking Cinder and the two villainesses begin to rumble. It's a pretty awesome hand-to-hand fight too, all as a chilling new Jeff and Casey tune plays. Did I mention that I really want the soundtrack? Between this, Lionized, Miracle, and the opening this soundtrack is gong to be morbidly awesome. Lil' Miss, while clearly enjoying the show, eventually tells the two girls to take their rumble outside. It's at this point that Cinder discovers that the Neo that she's been fighting is one of her illusions... so yeah, Neo can now cast longer, more lifelike illusions. Be afraid people. Be very afraid. But it isn't long before Cinder causes the real Neo to step forward.

Now normally, Neo has a confident, pretty cocky demeanor like her former boss, which her previous illusion also demonstrated. But here? Her clothes are slightly tattered, her expression is serious and vengeful, and most notably she is now wearing a very familiar looking hat. It takes Cinder no time to realize what the deal is: Neo wants to kill her as revenge for Torchwick's death. As they fight however, Cinder points out that they both have the same goal, which is to get revenge on Little Red Ruby. Cinder finally goes into Maiden mode, causing Neo to stop in fear, ad the Fall Maiden convinces her to knock it off and that they can work together to make Ruby pay. Neo agrees to talk... well she can't really talk, which I guess we now have conformation that Neo is indeed a mute. But you get what I mean.

Back with Team RWBY, the storm is growing worst as Ruby is confused by the state of Brunswick Farms. Most places that she's seen that were abandoned were either destroyed or unfinished, but this place is fine. The group breaks into what I assume is the mayor's house and everyone scatters to look around and find supplies. Ruby's attention goes to some portraits, showing a rather happy bunch of people. Blake goes to check on her... when the two hear Weiss scream. The gang goes to find her and Yang in a state of horror... because they just found the corpses of the home owners still int heir beds. WELL... THAT WAS SOMETHING.

A little later, Qrow confirms that all of the town is dead int he same manner. Weiss understandably doesn't want to stay there, but with the storm they have no choice. Qrow goes to see if he can find anything that can transport them out, ordering the others to go nowhere alone. Blake and Yang go to see if they can find anything in the other buildings as Ruby and Weiss look around to see if they can find any food. That leaves Oscar with Maria, who tells him to keep the fire going as she looks for a bedtime story. Did I mention that I love Abuelita Maria? Because Dear God do I love her.

Blake and Yang end up in some kind of barn/shed and look around, also wondering what it could have been that killed everyone. It's pretty clear that Yang is not handling any of the recent events well and Blake is concerned, but the blonde merely says that she's tired and wants to get out of this place. She finds a wagon that looks large enough to hold everyone, but any possible relief is killed when she has a flashback to Adam. She tells Blake of how she still flashes back to that night, her hand trembling as she asks the cat girl if she believes that Adam is still out there. Blake doesn't know, especially since despite knowing that the WF will reject him for his cowardice, he'll likely force his way anyways. She would know after all, he would use force and fear to make her feel beneath him and right into his control. But still, Blake tries to comfort Yang by assuring her that she isn't going anywhere and will be there for her. It seems to help Yang... until Blake says that if Adam comes back, she'll protect her. Yang doesn't take that comment well, heading back while saying that they'll hook the wagon to Bumblebee later. And somewhere, the Bumblebee shippers aren't sure if they should cheer, cry, or both.

Back with Ruby and Weiss, they find what looks like a bar. Ruby isn't happy with this, especially considering Qrow's current mental state, but brushes it aside as she heads for a pantry. Weiss however starts to ask Ruby if they're still heading for Atlas, much to Ruby's confusion. Weiss brings up that Salem can't be killed, so what's the point of going there now? Well that's what she claims anyways. I think that we all know the real reason why she doesn't want to go back. Ruby is clearly upset about this, but Weiss takes it back and just says that she's tired and hates this place... remember this for the review. They find more alcohol and a chained up wine cellar... and some canned shrimp flavored beans! Ugh... why would anyone make those? They take the food and leave and the episode ends with one of the cellar doors opening up...

Review

If anyone was hoping that things would get more cheery.. well sorry, you're going to be waiting awhile! Man, this episode was tense. Heck,t hat's what they should have named it! Tense: The Episode. I'm not complaining though cause man, this chapter was great! The drama continues to keep us at the edge of our sets, we got some payoffs, and plenty of nightmare fuel! Thanks for the Day 5/Until Dawn crossover CRWBY! I'll be having nightmares for weeks now!

So lets talk about the villains first! Neo is back... and I really don't care. I know that Neo is a fan favorite, and it totally baffles me as to why. Her design is cute and all, but... she hasn't done anything. I mean she's.. what? Fought Yang, broke Roman out of prison, and fought Ruby before getting Mary Poppins'd off the airship. That's it. We know nothing about her as a character and her scenes are very minor. She existed to be Roman's flunky because Monty came up with a cool design at the last possible moment. Otherwise, she could have been written out and it would have changed nothing about the series. I need more than a cool character design to care about a character, hence why I wasn't upset when Sienna got killed off, so I really wasn't all that excited to have her show up again,

That being said... this CAN turn out to be a good thing. Because with Torchwick dead, it gives Neo motivation as a character. She clearly cared about her boss and now that he's gone, all that she's left with is the desire for revenge against those who got him killed in the first place. With Cinder now wanted, it made sense to go after her first, plus it was Cinder's planning that got Torchwick put into that situation to begin with. Honestly Torchwick's death may be what allows Neo to get the character that I feel that she is lacking and while I don't expect her partnership with Cinder to stick for long, it'll be interesting to see how she operates now that she has the chance to get back at Ruby.

As for the scene itself, I loved it! The fight scene was great. Fast-paced, but not over bloated. Just a really cool hand-to-hand fight with both Cinder and Neo using their abilities to their advantage. Cinder is still a bitch, but she's showing more of the more smug persona that we're familiar with while actually being logical with her convincing Neo to work with her rather than against her. Considering her current situation and lack of any backup until she redeems herself, it makes sense for Cinder to go this route, even if her mind is still mainly on making Ruby suffer. But hey, she's not screwing up any per-conceived plans to do it this time! Oh, and Lil' Miss Malachite continues to be a delight. I freakin' love this woman.

Now onto our heroes... and boy do I worry for them. God the entire sequence from them breaking into the house to finding the bodies... it was tense. Something felt so off. Poor Weiss just seems traumatized after, and I can't blame her. I'd be traumatized too. So what was it that killed an entire town? Well I think it's pretty clearly a Grimm, but we'll go more into that in a little bit. For now, lets talk about the partner scenes.

Yang and Blake's scene just... made me sad. On the one hand, I freakin' love Blank. She's gone form my least favorite Team RWBY member and not even in my Top 5 to now being a serious contender for my second favorite alongside Weiss. Throughout this chapter, she is supportive and concerned for her teammates. She goes to see what Ruby's thinking about as she stares at the photos, gives Weiss a blanket while she's clearly still reeling from her morbid discovery, and she is trying so hard to be supportive and friendly with Yang. She tries to give Yang the chance to talk about what's bothering her, opens up about how small Adam made her feel, and tries to assure Yang that she's not going anywhere and won't let her get hurt again. It really shows how much that Blake has grown since Volume 4, an I am loving every second of it.

Sadly, Yang isn't doing that great. The recent events, from Adam to everything with her mom to the new revelations to now, have clearly weighed her down. She's downcast, bitter, and frustrated. Her PTSD is still haunting her as she still has flashback and despite being willing to face her fears, those fears still haunt her. And sadly just when it looks like Blake's making a breakthrough, Yang gets upset because Blake said that she'd protect her. It's a very sweet comment, but to Yang it make her feel like she's weak an incapable. She's supposed to be the one protecting people, not the other way around. She hates feeling weak and afraid, so while Blake's comment was nothing but well intentioned, to the blonde it felt like an insult and only reinforced all the negativity brewing inside her. Clearly she needs to let it out and she and Blake need to sort everything out, then she can start to do better. Hopefully, this arc will allow that.

Onto the Ruby and Weiss pair and... man, poor Weiss. The girl is badly shaken from finding the corpses, even as she tries to keep some kind of positive attitude after. But it's clear that both the recent events and the fear of going back to Atlas are haunting her. She's afraid to go home since it means facing her father again and the threat of once more being locked away. No one would want to go back to the place where thy were kept prisoner. But she's also concerned with the recent revelations. Salem can't be killed. Even if they lock away the Relic, all it'll do is slow her down. There seems to be no point, and Weiss is considering calling it quits even if only briefly. It shows how bad of a state shes in emotionally on top of everything else, and I really worry for her.

Then of course there's Ruby. I think that this is the most serious that we've seen her in a good while. She's very much in leader mode, and after how baldy she got the shaft last volume, this is very good to see. She's concerned about the state of the town and trying to piece it together. She tries to comfort Weiss by looking for food. When she finds the bar, she want sot immediately seal it up out of concern that Qrow will get overly drunk. Clearly a lot is weighing on Ruby, yet she still displays a helpful, positive attitude. She's really trying, and it really makes me concerned for her. IDK if all that she's holding in is going to break in this volume, but with how the other three seem ready to break, this might be the right time to do it. I do think that Ruby may have to save them all though, if my current theory about the Grimm is right.

So you may remember that both Weiss and Yang being tired, Yang even showing signs of being delirious. I don't think that's just general dialogue. Remember, they were the two who found the bodies. Bodies that were tucked in bed alongside the rest of the town. It seems that whatever the Grimm is, one that I assume the town locked up until now, it killed them in their sleep There are many different ways to interpret this, but my current thought is that this is some kind of dream walker Grimm. Think of it like Freddy Kruger form Nightmare on Elm Street. Someone who haunts and tortures you in your dreams, to the point that you end up dead in the real world. And this Grimm may cause people to feel tired in order to lull them into it' trap, hence why the entire town ended up dead.

If I had to guess, Weiss, Yang, and Qrow are going to end up asleep and end up victims of the Grimm. Maybe Blake too, but who can say? IDK about Oscar either though I think that Maria will be fine. This will probably means that while everyone is trying to fight through their nightmares. Ruby may have to go into the cellar to find and kill the Grimm, which would lead to the scene in the opening. Heck, for all I know all of them will end up in the nightmares and maybe Ruby's the first to break through or something. I'm not sure. For all I know, I'm talking completely out of my ass. What I do know however is no matter what this Grimm may be or whatever is coming next, with this episode's title being 'The Coming Storm' it's NOT gonna be pretty.

Final Thoughts

Like last week, this episode had me uncomfortable throughout, but in different ways. I am seriously worried about everyone and whatever it is that's about to happen to them. No one is in a good place right now, and that's probably about to reach a breaking point. But hey, we got a cool fight scene and a new song! That was nice of them! But yeah, really enjoyed this episode! It has plenty of character development and plenty of setup for next week. So tune in then as Nightmare Fuel Theater proudly presents RWBY: Day 5 Until Dawn!

[tojohq]

Yakuza 6: The Song of Life Review

The end of Kiryu’s story. As ominous as it sounds, that’s one of the biggest selling points of Yakuza 6: The Song of Life. The character that has been leading the series since its very first game finally has an ending chapter to its saga. As an old-time fan, that made me worried and intrigued: How do they plan to end its story? What’s the series going to do moving forward? And, more importantly, how does the game compares to its predecessors, with all the changes made to its engine?

The following review aims to be as spoiler-free as possible, but be advised some spoilers may occur for previous games of the series, like Yakuza 5. Read at your own discretion.

Kiryu Kazuma, the series’ main character, spent several years in prison following the events of Yakuza 5. He is released only to find out that Haruka is in a coma after having been hit by a car. She also had a kid, Haruto, who is at risk of being taken to an orphanage. Kiryu must fight for and maintain custody of Haruto, while investigating the strange mysteries surrounding Haruka’s accident. The stage is set as we initially enter Kamurocho once again, and after he begins his investigation, the trail leads to Onomichi: a peaceful town that is more than it seems.

The new Dragon Engine was introduced in Yakuza 6, bringing several innovations to the series. For starters, the graphics got a revamp compared to the older engine (used from Yakuza 5 to Yakuza Kiwami), being the first game developed exclusively to PS4. The level of detail in textures, character models, and the world itself, is outstanding. A common complaint about Yakuza 6 is the presence of screen tearing on the game, but I must say I wasn’t able to notice said issue. It’s worth noting that the game runs at 30fps, compared to 60fps on Yakuza Zero and Kiwami. New physics were added, both to the open world exploration and the battles. Exploration-wise, Kiryu can now jump over things, climb stairs, and even fall down from certain buildings. The inventory has also changed. You don’t need to send items to a hideout-like place, like in previous games. Your inventory can store as many items as you like; however, you can only hold 5 of each health/heat restore items, or 10 of each food/beverage items.

Things have changed - the year is 2016 and even Kiryu has a smartphone now, which acts as the game’s menu. Through it, you can find your current tasks and missions; access your inventory; check your stats and mail; check your completion list; change settings; and even take photos or selfies.

With the new graphics engine, Kamurocho has been completely reworked. We have new explorable areas, like Millenium Tower’s rooftop gardens and the Kamuro Theater. We can enter and explore several random buildings, making the city more alive than ever before. We have the same number of taxi stops as before, but more destinations as a whole. It’s worth it to note that certain portions of the map have completely changed. Little Asia is a primary example, and some underwent… peculiar changes, like Pink Street, which is in a diagonal orientation now. However, not everything is good news: some explorable areas that have been around since the first game have been removed, like the Champion District and the Kamurocho Hills/West Park area. We also have fewer stores than before (Kotoburi Drugs, for example, is gone).

Onomichi is considerably smaller when compared to Kamurocho, and has less shops, restaurants and entertainment spots. This more accurately reflects the cities’ real-life counterparts. It’s a port town based on a Hiroshima city that goes by the same name. Here you can access the spearfishing and baseball mini-games, as well as the Snackbar Gaudi. Snack bars are, on that note, popular places on Onomichi to hang out, considering the city doesn’t have Cabaret Clubs. You can also find a few restaurantes, a temple, and a pawn shop.

We have quite a few new minigames compared to previous games, like the Live Chat, which - more than just being sexy - manages to be funny and quirky due to Kiryu’s reactions; full ports of SEGA games, like VF5FS and Puyo Puyo; and classic arcade games from the 80s, like Space Harrier.

The RAAP Gym features a series of minigames where the player should press the buttons accordingly to make Kazuma exercise. After a session, the trainer recommends a dish you should eat, which impacts the evaluation you receive. Before you attempt to train again, you need to engage in a random encounter in the city.

There’s also a baseball team management minigame.  You can recruit new members through substories or around the city and train them. On a match, you can manage your players and sometimes control the hitter. It’s a bit confusing, and, honestly, I didn’t manage to find it too enjoyable.

The Gaudi Snack Bar - unlocked during the baseball team quest line - is actually one of the most fun addictions to Yakuza 6, mini-game wise. For it, Kiryu is invited to a small and familiar bar in Onomichi. In the minigame, you speak with NPCs about their problems, enjoy a few drinks with them, and can even play darts or sing Karaoke. All these things help you develop your friendship with them. Each NPC has its own story, and each one of them is enjoyable, and some of them are tough nuts to crack - you will will need to be persistent with these. I’ve gotten so invested in this specific portion of the game I started to think about the NPCs as close friends of Kiryu, and it made me like Onomichi itself a lot more, since some of these characters are shop owners. It’s a simple yet great addition that gave even more life to the city.

The Clan Creator is another minigame first introduced in Yakuza 6. It involves recruiting NPCs to your very own Kiryu Clan and using them in battles - but Kazuma himself doesn’t fight, he just commands them like in a strategy game. You can set your hierarchy: Captain, Lieutenants and so on. There’s also an online mode available, where you can fight other player’s Clans. You can, also, add new members to your Clan by entering codes, made available at several different places and through the Yakuza Experience website.

Another feature is the opportunity to help a Cat Cafe that… happens to have no cats, since its owner doesn’t do well with the animals and they all ran away. It’s up to Kazuma to find new cats in Kamurocho or Onomichi for the shop by giving them food and earning their trust. After you max out the trust gauge of a cat, someone will go get the felline, which you can always see in the Cafe from then on.

The spearfishing minigame is basically a shooter with a fishing theme. You can earn money from the fishes you catch, and there’s a spearfishing level: the higher your level, the higher your HP in this minigame. You have different spears to choose from and three different areas to fish in - both selections make an impact on the mini-game difficulty.

Some classic mini-games have been removed, like bowling, pool, UFO catchers, and gambling. Changes have been made to Karaoke and its song list: they are all new this time around. The batting cage minigame has also changed slightly. The Cabaret Club minigame has also been reworked, with a new card-based system that has made it more enjoyable.

Yakuza 6 has 52 substories in total, from which a considerable amount is tied to mini-games like the Snack Bar Gaudi, the Clan Creator, and the Baseball team. We also have 40 different Trouble Missions. Trouble missions are picked through the app ‘Troublr’ on Kiryu’s phone. They usually require the player to battle against an enemy or a group of enemies who’s causing - as the name implies - trouble in Kamurocho or Onomichi. Trouble Missions usually spawn nearby you, are time restricted, generally under 5 minutes, and are considered failed if you engage in another event  (like a cutscene or a minigame).

The soundtrack and effects of the game are once again memorable. Differently from previous games, there’s no opening theme this time. On the other hand... some of the songs really stand out, like Joon-gi Han’s theme, several battle themes, and some of the karaoke songs (prime examples would be ‘Hands’ and ‘Today is a Diamond’).

With the new graphical engine and physics also came a new combat system. The very core of it - characteristic to the series - remains the same: fight, do combos, use heat actions. However, the changes run deeper. It was reworked from the ground, with completely new combos, actions and Heat Actions. Unfortunately, Heat Actions are one of the biggest flaws of Yakuza 6 in that there are very few of them. That said, the new physics also make the combat both hilarious and satisfying at times: it’s not rare to see objects being destroyed simply by running through them, or enemies being thrown far from you by doing a combo finished with a kick.

In Yakuza 6 - once again - we see a new leveling system. We have five different experience points: Strength, Agility, Spirit, Technique and Charm. Different activities award different amounts and different kinds of experience. For example, you will get more Strength and Agility by fighting than by doing entertainment activities. You can spend experience points on basic stats (Health, Attack, Defense, Evasion, and Heat Gauge), battle skills, heat actions, and other skills.

We also have an in-depth buff system this time, like increased experience gain, increased money drops, increased stats, and so on. They can be achieved through different means (such as temple blessings, statue offerings, food buffs, and machine drinks) and last a set amount of time or battles.

What was played:

A full playthrough of the main story, 40 substories, and all minigames at least once. Around 60 hours of game time.

Pros:

Graphics are gorgeous and detailed

Great OST

The cities seem alive and as detailed as ever

Several new minigame addictions are fun and rewarding

Good story with likeable characters - both on the substories and the main plot

Cons:

Certain classic mini-games were removed

Areas that have been accessible in Kamurocho since the first game, like the Champion District and the West Park/Kamurocho Hills area are off limits now

Combat seems simplified compared to Zero/Kiwami: less combos, less heat actions

No system to craft weapons, or even to carry then

Verdict: A fitting end to Kiryu’s story, with great graphics, OST, and side content, but not without a few hiccups. Fewer heat actions and the removal of certain minigames detract from it, when compared to previous games of the series.

Score: 8.5/10

Disclaimer: Reviewed on a standard PS4 model using a review code provided by the publisher.

[growinstablog]

How to Add Music in Instagram Stories with the New Music Sticker

Did you know that you can play music in Instagram Stories?

Announced in 2018, Instagram’s “music sticker” works for both videos and photos and lets you select from thousands of music tracks that fit the mood of your story — everything from Stevie Wonder to Billie Eilish!

Plus, in more recent news, the feature is now being rolled out in Canada!

With over 500 million people using Instagram Stories every day, we’re so excited to see and hear all the creative ways that brands and businesses use this new feature.

Ready to get started? Here’s everything we know about music in Instagram Stories:

How to Add Music in Instagram Stories

Ready to start adding soundtracks to your next Instagram Story? It couldn’t be easier! Just follow the steps below and you’ll soon be posting photos and videos to your favorite beat.

First, download the latest version of the Instagram app on iOS or Android. Once you’ve updated your app, go to Instagram Stories by tapping the camera icon on the top right of your homepage.

Once you’ve taken a photo or video, tap the stickers button at the top of the screen and then tap the music sticker.

This will open the Instagram music library where you’ll find thousands of songs to choose from. You can search for a specific song, or you can browse by mood, genre, or what’s popular.

You can tap the play button to hear a preview before adding it to your story too.

When you’re happy with your song choice, you can fast-forward and rewind through the track to choose the exact part that fits your story.

You can also choose how long you want the music clip to play for (the maximum is 15 seconds).

If lyrics are available for the song you select, they should pop up automatically on your screen.

You can then choose different fonts and designs for them, and you can edit which part of the song you want to play.

When someone watches your story, they can tap the lyrics to learn more about the artist or listen to more of the song.

Finally, you can customize what the sticker looks by tapping it before publishing.

Now you’re ready to post to Instagram Stories as usual — add GIFs, polls, hashtags or anything else you might like to add, tap the “Your Story” button at the bottom of your screen, and you’re all set!

If you’re using iOS, you can also choose a song before capturing your video or photo. Just swipe to the new “Music” caption under the record mode when you’re in the Instagram Stories camera.

From here, it’s the same as before. Just search for a song, choose the exact part you want for your photo or video, and capture your story while the song plays in the background. Easy, right?

Here are a few more things to know about the new music in Instagram Stories feature:

Which Countries Have Access to the Music Sticker?

In Instagram’s press announcement, they state that the new music sticker feature is only available in “select countries.” And according to writers at TechCrunch, these lucky countries originally included Australia, New Zealand, France, Germany, Sweden, the UK, and the US.

However, it was just announced that the feature is now being rolled out in Canada! 

It’s unknown when other countries will have access to the music sticker, but we’ll be sure to keep you posted when things change.

What Kind of Music is There to Choose From?

Instagram’s music library is filled with thousands of songs and artists like Bruno Mars, Dua Lipa, Calvin Harris and Guns N’ Roses — all thanks to Facebook’s recent partnership with record labels.

From the Later office, we’ve spotted Ed Sheeran, Childish Gambino, Cardi B and Kendrick Lamar, to name just a few. So we’re sure you’ll find something you’ll like, and suits the mood of your Instagram Stories too!

Instagram’s Music Sticker Gets an Update with the New Lyrics Feature

Other than adding new songs to their music library, Instagram hasn’t really done much with the music sticker since it first launched in summer 2018 — until today, that is! 

Check out Instagram’s announcement featuring Billie Eilish:

While some have welcomed the new lyrics feature as simply an “expansion of [Instagram’s] music tools across its online platforms,” others see it as an attempt by Instagram to compete with Tik-Tok, a massively popular video-sharing app among teens.

It remains to be seen how the new feature will catch on among Instagram’s younger audiences, but one thing’s for sure: people are excited about it!

With all of Instagram’s big launches — IGTV, Video Chat, and now music in Instagram Stories — there have been some great steps towards bringing online communities closer together, in a way that’s more engaging, inclusive, and fun!

Ready to start curating and sharing UGC to Instagram? Join Later to easily find, schedule and post user-generated content to your social feeds! 

https://growinsta.xyz/how-to-add-music-in-instagram-stories-with-the-new-music-sticker/

[viewfromthedrumstool]

View From The Drum Stool #49

Saint Etienne European Tour, Part I

Albeit not fully recovered from the American tour, the drum stool beckons me back for another run with Saint Etienne. This time it’s Europe: we’ll start with some Scandi dates, head home for a week, and then do a second run south from Helsinki.

All too early on a frosty autumnal Monday morning we meet in east Oxfordshire, five persons and enough keyboards, guitars and musical equipment to open a shop. Our ride to the airport is with friendly South-African taxi driver ‘DimiPapaUk’ who, when he isn’t driving customers in his cab uses it to host ‘taxi raves’ which he broadcasts live on the Internet. (Catchphrases include “Love, peace and muthafuckin’ chicken-grease” and “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh SHIT!”). His YouTube channel is really worth a look…

There’s an extensive (and intrusive) renovation being undertaken at Luton airport which makes the process of passing through the facility painful and uncomfortable. Like a gallstone. We locate the rest of our party on a concourse littered with sleeping families and workmen heaving: it’s a scene from a news report put to a soundtrack of pneumatic drills and circular saws.

Beyond security the nomads and crowds loiter, the type of people that you don’t seem to find anywhere else and I wonder whether they’re actually travelling anywhere or whether Luton airport is simply the place these people come to quietly exist, freed from citizenship, like Tom Hanks in The Terminal.

Most of the flight (2 hrs) I spend sleeping or reading (Cider With Rosie) and eventually we touchdown in Copenhagen to be met by our man-on-the-ground Leuven.

He looks more like he belongs at sea than in the music industry, decked in thick woollen jumper with a magnificent scar on his cheek and at least two teeth missing. I sit up front with him in the rental van for his guided tour of the city as we make the short journey to the venue. He’s an enthusiastic host and a knowledgeable tour guide, if only he didn’t insist on poking me constantly with his calloused sea fingers every time he speaks.

“Hey man look at all the copper roofs!” A jab to the chest.

“37% of our citizens cycle to work!” He digs at my rib.

“Check out this church - it’s non-denominational!” He bruises my wind pipe.

I make a mental note to sit in the back next time.

One of the interesting and unusual things about Copenhagen is that they have the worlds second-oldest still-active amusement park slap bang in the middle of town. Tivoli opened in 1843 and because of the limitations in space most of the rides go up and down more than they go round and round. But there are still four rollercoasters, including a wooden one that’s so old an attendant has to ride in the front carriage and operate the brakes with a lever!

The venue, Pumpehuset, is also right in the centre of town and as we roll up outside a woman waits by the stage entrance, autograph book in hand ... I recognise her! It’s the same autograph-hunter as greeted the arrival of Man Without Country in town some years back! She must have quite a collection by now.

It’s been a long day but when show time comes around we’re all excited to play together again. Given the hysterical crowds we became accustomed to Stateside it was no surprise that the Danish audience demonstrated their enthusiasm somewhat more tastefully, though they were many in number and long may that remain.

We’re staying right across the road at the Hotel Ascot, a mere stumble away after the inevitable post-show back-on-tour merriment. It’s a civilised lodging, despite some confusion over stray knickers we’ve been finding under beds and on the stairs ... maybe there’s some Scandi-noir murder mystery situation in our midst and we should be paying more attention to these saucy clues...

Breakfast is vast and a welcome change from the tasteless beige of the American hotels (I almost always skipped). Fully fuelled - and with a boiled egg in the pocket for mid-morn - we board the van and venture first east, crossing the Øresund Bridge into Sweden and then turn north.

Above us sore enormous flocks of birds in giant V formation, sometimes hundreds in number, their aerodynamic choreography a site to savour and we crane our necks to get a sight of them out of the van window.

Suddenly everything starts to look distinctly... Swedish.

Our fellow road users are positively glowing, their skin a deep orange of questionable origin. And given the number of Burger King restaurants that litter the E6 road north to Gothenburg they’re also surprisingly slim.

In a service station we find a chocolate called a Plopp and another called a Kex. They’ve a way with words the Swedes, I’ll give them that.

Almost all of the vehicles on the road are Swedish-made Volvos too, their lights beaming out come day or night in accordance with Swedish law. The road is bordered much of the way by great slabs of rock covered in subtle shades of moss and I’m sure some rich autumnal hues linger beneath if only for a decent glimmer of sunlight. It’s beginning to dawn on me how unrelentingly dark it is up here. It’s only October but already the sun doesn’t get high into the sky and the type of light that breaks through the clouds is an impotent powerless one.

The backstage at ‘Stora Teatern’ in Gothenburg is welcoming - albeit forgivably IKEA - with the kind of rider I spent most of the US tour dreaming of. EU riders are famously good - there are fresh vegetables, plentiful fruit, cheese and cured meats, boiled eggs, weird and wonderful chocolates, snacks and interesting breads, freshly brewed coffee, and of course the obligatory houmous. (Early in my career a promoter told me if there’s ever no houmous on the rider something is very very wrong, advice I’ve carried with me since). After soundcheck we also find two iced buckets full of wine, Cava and organic beers and cider, which are tasty and preferable over a mass-produced (or even micro-brewed) American effort any day.

The venue itself is among the most grand and impressive I’ve had the pleasure of playing. Originally opened in 1859, the theatre has a large floor, dress circle, upper circle, grand circle and boxes. But the entire audience are seated and once settled into the first song it’s surreal to look up and see them sat there, so serene, several hundred pairs of eyes peering up expectantly and a peal of polite applause after each song. It reminds me of the opening scenes from Wes Anderson’s The Life Aquatic.

Gerard is suitably attired for such a grandiose venue in a dashing suit with ruffled Beethoven shirt. It’s particularly fitting for the glorious baroque intro to Whyteleafe and in the dim light of the stage his black sleeves become invisible and the sight of his cuffed hands dancing across the keyboard reminds me of Thing from the Addams Family.

Albeit clearly enthusiastic, the seated crowd are slow to stir and it’s wonderful moment when a solitary girl on the front row gives in to primal urge and stands to dance through the final few songs. Thankfully by the encore I’m the only one still seated and they’re rewarded with a spirited rendition of You’re In A Bad Way.

The hotel is a boutique Italian affair and they offer check-in with cheese in the form of a huge Parmesan block which patrons are encouraged to pick at while they wait. It’s fair to say they’re enthusiastic to have Saint Etienne come to stay, and they produce an LP from behind the reception desk for the band to sign. Not only do they also furnish all of our rooms with handmade chocolates, but generously decide not to charge our party of 12+ people for dinner - no meagre act considering Scandi prices…!

The following morning and we take to the road once more for the 5+ hour journey from Gothenburg across to Stockholm. The rain today is persistent and I have to keep wiping the window to remove the misty condensation that keeps forming.

Having barely been here before I had high hopes for a haul of memorable photos - perhaps Sarah by a fjord, a panoramic Scandi city scape or Bob and Pete in an epic Nordic vista. In reality there’s been so little in the way of mere colour since we arrived, and the journey is again notably devoid of any hue: even at 1pm there’s barely enough light in the van to read a book. I’m starting to crave a bright colour: perhaps a firey orange or a rich red.

(In desperation I try changing my specs to a different pair but it makes no difference.)

Todays gas station discovery is a CD called RASTERBILLERSHITS Vol.2. But as intrigued as I am to know what a Rastterbillershits sounds like, everything is expensive in Sweden of course and I wasn’t prepared to stake the £22 to find out.

Instead I plug into my iPad where there are albums of Eagles songs and a playlist of country music from our recent tour of the USA ... it’s difficult to comprehend that mere weeks ago we were in sunny California - the cultures couldn’t be further apart (other than the abundance of Burger Kings). I settle on Black Celebration by Depeche Mode instead.

After what feels more like 50 hours we finally disembark at ‘Sodra Teatern’, and enter a labyrinthine venue of meandering corridors, claustrophobic catacombs and anti-chambers too numerous to keep track of. Unable to find anything that constitutes a music venue I find myself instead stumbling into a kitchen deep in the heart of the operation. A sous chef busy shaving cucumbers is pleased to have a companion - he shouts some things in Swedish, poses for a photo and directs me down some stairs, through a passageway and I eventually emerge into the backstage.

The rider tonight includes some interesting additions including a repulsive-looking repulsive-tasting appropriately-named Swedish sweet called Salt Skum. Ever the experimental eater, Pete tries combining it with other rider-items (banana, carrot stick, cheese) in a bid to make to find a companion flavour that might make it more edible but to no avail.

After soundcheck we’re led up to a restaurant on the top floor where we’re served four courses of nouvelle vegetarian fare. It’s utterly delicious and a somewhat more successful attempt at flavour fusion that combines, at various times, coconut foams, raw mushrooms, nuts and spices, and a slice of hot pineapple, all served on clay plates.

I hadn’t seen anything of the crowd before we walked on stage and though I’d heard the show had sold well it was a pleasant surprise to walk on and find a room packed to the rafters, bursting with excitement, people up the stairs and on the balcony, necks craning just to get a glimpse of the action.

It’s another fine show and a great way to end the first short leg. The band are in fine form these days and we’ve come a long way (in every sense) since the tentative first promotional dates of the Home Counties campaign.

It’s been a whirlwind of a trip, enjoyable as always and I look forward to returning to Sweden and Denmark in the future. But the grey’d aesthetic was disappointing albeit atmospheric and I don’t hold out much hope for those few times that I did pull the trigger on my Pentax.

It’s still raining when we return to the airport the following morning. But when the plane takes off we rocket up through the clouds into a pastoral blue sky and a burst of pure golden sunlight comes streaming through the starboard porthole, bathing the cabin, flooding my retinas and laying to rest any woes, cravings and longings.

Alas, part two of the EU Tour will follow … here’s hoping for some more sunshine!

Until then,

M

[attract-mode-collective]

It’s Still (Pixelated) Hot Dog Legs Season

Fall should officially be in full swing by now, yet here in NYC (and many other parts of the US), it still feels like summer. Which I’m not thrilled about, though at the very least, I don’t feel so bad for sharing the above (by Robert Penney) so late into September.

On that note, time for a way overdue game culture round up! It’s been a while, and a LOT been going on. And not to be a downer, but the chaotic weather has been in the news, obviously.

Here’s a pic from Gamer Geek Nation on Facebook, who shared the aftermath of the Hurricane Harvey, along with: “… This is a time when we collectors need to remind ourselves that ultimately, this is just stuff, and our lives are more important. And make sure your collection is insured properly.”

Elsewhere in the world, the Tokyo Game Show just wrapped up, and not to repeat the obvious, but yes… the biggest, most exciting news was the Sonic X Hooters collab…

Though the one between Hello Kitty and Game Center CX is far, far better (photo courtesy of Kotaku)…

You also have this comically large Rockman doll, which apparently was available on Amazon but is now out of stock…

Though I mostly wished I had been there to pick up some primo looking attire, like this Mega Drive track jacket that miki800 gave the heads up on before show time (there was also a Dreamcast hoodie that I personally don’t think looks as nice, hence why I’m skipping it)…

I also really like this Pac-Man shirt…

This Galaga shirt as well…

Also taking place in Japan was an exhibition held by the JARGA (Japan Retro Game Association); miki800 was there and captured some interesting bits of hardware, with the highlight being (IMHO) this Mega Drive clone that resembles a perfect mix of the model 1 MD and the original Wondermega…

There’s no preview of the music yet, though may as well share the recently unveiled cover to the third (and final) installment of 8 BIT MUSIC POWER…

Meanwhile, according to Original Sound Version, Mitch Murder has released yet another soundtrack to another game that never existed. In this it didn’t come out for the Mega CD and doesn’t involve mecha…

Remember that Jet Set Radio figure I showed a while ago? Well, it's finally available for pre-order! Alas, it's not cheap, at least over at Big Bad Toy Store...

BTW, videogamesdensetsu shares with us what Beat looks like, sans-cel shading…

Sticking with VCD for a tad bit; here’s what Pulseman looked originally looked like, and he sure was cute!

Whereas NiGHTS looked goofier… as well as more menacing….

Am confident most people will not give a rat’s ass about seeing hand drawn Virtua Racing track designs, but as a massive fan of the series, oh man, oh man, oh man...

Two never before seen Saturn prototypes that must be: “[taken] with a grain of salt!”

Apparently Looney Tunes X The Matrix was actually a thing? Somehow this does not surprise me…

The work of Hideaki Kodama was recently highlighted, which was also recently auctioned; I wonder how much this painting of various PC Engine hardware went for?

Yet another Kickstarter mention? Yup. And this one is Jed Henry's third crowdfunding campaign: this particular variant of the Ukiyo-e Heroes concentrates on boss battles, with perhaps my fave piece being his depiction from The Breath of the Wild...

Am particularly fond of this image from the Street Fighter 25th Anniversary art book that grease-howard spotted, of old Chun Li chumming it up with her younger self...

Any and all BoJack Horseman fans out there may want to pick up this piece by Jude Buffum...

legendofnes reminds of that time Batman visited New Donk City…

It's just a bunch of cyber kids, all just hanging around, by sanigo...

Speaking of the gang, here we have the kids from Persona 5, by @aranciart…

Apparently, if Jedah (from Darkstalkers) ran a juice stand, it wouldn’t be the best, according to dreaminerryday…

The individual who runs SPLENDID LAND describes SLN-003 Gacha Man as a: "vendor robot who dispenses toys. even he doesn’t know what’s inside the capsules, so he always gets excited to find out"...

Meanwhile, here’s official artwork of Mario and Peach, courtesy of the thevideogameartarchive’s catalogue of the Mario Golf N64 manual; am pretty sure I’ve seen images of Mario looking distressed, though never to this degree…

The above is something Super Mario Broth would normally deliver, and speaking of, may as well share some recent faves on that end! Like these photos from a promotional campaign with a Japanese sports drink when promoting Mario Sports Superstars…

Instructions found on the arcade cabinet for Vs. Super Mario Bros (which I remember so distinctly, and fondly)…

From some Japanese video guide for the same game (am assuming the home Famicom version this time)…

A greeting card (am assuming a Valentine’s)...

Mario without his hat, as he appears in a Game Boy controller test cart that Nintendo service reps used to calibrate buttons on a the handheld…

And he we have a shortcut in SMB3 that I had no idea existed, and it’s a safe bet that most don’t either: “In Super Mario Bros. 3, the rock between the path to the first fortress in World 4 and the Spade Panel can be destroyed with a Hammer item, allowing the player to bypass the fortress. There is no obvious indication that this rock is destructible, as it is surrounded by decorative rocks. In fact, many guides for Super Mario Bros. 3 do not mention this shortcut.”

As for Super Mario Broth’s counterpart, Sonic the Hedgeblog has seen plenty of action as well… largely pinpointing all the obscure references found in Sonic Mania, So head over for that if that sounds like fun to you! Otherwise, there’s also the Mario Bros having a Sonic Panic…

A reminder of how Sonic looked at one point as he was being prepped for the Dreamcast; it would appear that at a certain point, in Sonic Adventure, he was going to look a lot more realistic…

And this issue with EGM featuring a sneak preview of Sonic 2 is the very first video game magazine that I ever picked up!

Meanwhile, oldgamemags recently posted a page from an issue of GamePro, circa 2000, on a peripheral that allowed the Game Boy to play mp3s. Am sharing it cuz I really want a GB-looking mp3 player…

So someone on Twitter (who has since protected his account, so I’ll have to refer to nintendolife they snagged the pic before it was locked down) cracked open a electrocardiogram measurement instrument and found... a GBA? It’s theorized: “perhaps earlier revisions of the unit had different screens, and once the supply chain dried up MiE was forced to source the next best thing?”

vice-s-assistant sez: "OK Guys, I’m ready to hack."

According to bunney: "i was working at a convention arcade this weekend and some guy cosplaying ryu was playing street fighter with a blunt in his mouth"...

Can anyone tell what's being played here? At the very least, it's a nice shot (via rekall)...

Much like Arcade Crusade, I have no idea what’s going on, and I agree that whatever it is, it looks intense...

If you’ve ever wanted an artist’s rendering of the Raspberry Pi, then look no further than the work of retronator…

rasec-wizzlbang states: “those square cross sections of the human skin layers you always see in biology books but as like, a minecraft block”…

Courtesy of Arcade Crusade once again comes a very tender moment…

Is it just me or does this promo image for Food Fight sure does look like a Norman Rockwell painting? As seen on thedoteaters...

Here we have a flyer for a really old SNK arcade game (we’re talking really old; almost a decade before the Neo Geo was a thing) that looks like it was made with today’s sensibilities, doesn’t it?

Also via obscurevideogames is a moment of pathos from Hacchake Ayayo-san 4 - Sexy Olympics - Ayayo’s Live Affection. It’s… pretty obscure alright…

Yup, that's Hieronymus Bosch-styled Tetris all right (via freeindiega.me)...

crashcarnival presents: "true facts of the Ice Age"...

Hey, it’s the Ninja Turtles playing Pong (via rewind01)…

Behold, Fighters Megamix version 2017 (via lonelyfrontier)…

Yup, that is definitely a Chu Chu Rocket skirt  (via radicalhelmet)...

For those who have ever wondered what their Sonic character’s political leanings are, in relation to the rest of the crew (and can’t be bothered to sift through DeviantArt; via erratticusfinch)…

Face to face (via futureisfailed)…

It’s been out for a while, though it’s not too late to pick up this Xenogears tribute zine, right?

Just a friendly reminder of how bat-sh*t insane Sin & Punishment is (via n64thstreet)...

Zimmerit.moe has everything you need to know about a game by Square involving mecha that you’ve probably never heard of. And no, am not talking about Thexder; it’s even more obscure than that (am talking about Cruise Chaser Blassty BTW/FYI)...

Meanwhile, Michael “Kayin” O’Reilly discusses the “Barrel Distortion” look that emulators use to recreate the look of playing something on a CRT display and why it’s total crap…

And… that’s  it! You’ve made it to the end! Enjoy a cool, refreshing drink with Pac-Man (on the behalf of arcade-crusade)...

Don’t forget: Attract Mode is now on Medium! There you can subscribe to keep up to date, as well as enjoy some “best of” content you might have missed the first time around, plus be spared of the technical issues that’s starting to overtake Tumblr.

[overthinkingmarguerite]

My friends are the best

I literally don’t know what I would’ve done without their support

My boyfriend (I guess now my ex) (cool now I can say I’ve got exes I guess) was selfish in how he acted and I now see how cruel what he did was. That’s all thanks to my lovely and dear friends who have not left me alone since I called my best friend while bawling my eyes out and feeling like I was dying

He calls me up. We had been doing great. Due to the honours programme I had been under extreme pressure, and due to ever stronger family and hometown issues I was struggling quite a lot. But I’m strong and I’m clever and I was doing all I could. I thought he’d support me. Apparently not. I don’t even know why he left me yet. I refused to let him talk.

He calls me up. We talk about life about everything. About the concert we were going to, the concert of our favourite artist. The artist he introduced me to because he had heard a song from him and thought of me. “Give me every person in the whole wide world and I’d pick you up in a second girl”. He gave me vinyls of this artist. He had also given me vinyls of la la land soundtrack which was the movie we went the day he became my boyfriend. My Ma****.

We kept talking. About how stressed I was for my Friday deadline. About what research question sounded best. About our Vienna vacation... indeed he confirmed the days chosen were perfect for him.

We kept talking, he asked a few times: when are you coming to (the city we study in and live in). The city we built a life in together. Stupidly enough maybe, I should have seen that having him around so much, having us be as if we lived together this year, would not be good. All the things I’ve built, everything from how I schedule to go out with my friends, to when I schedule to go home. Or to make the Good Diner. Or to study. Or to go to extra lectures. I mean who am i gonna go to extra lectures with now? To the restaurant? To concerts. Ugh. I’ll think about that later.

I told him, to answer his question, which he kept insisting on, “tomorrow but it’s only to see the writing advisor’’ “maybe do a little ethnography to have more data” “I mean you can come down and just give me a kiss and then we’ll really see each other on thirsday’’. Silly billy me 🙃 I thought he was eager to see me as always, I mean he had kept telling me all weekend how much he missed me... I thought as always when we don’t have time we’ll just meet each other halfway on our bikes, get down, kiss, hold each other, talk for 5 minutes, kiss, hold, say goodbye and cycle away.

Then he said, after I told him once again “you know this is what I’m talking about when I ask you to be more verbally affectionate”. He’d always been so romantic, he always showed his love for me in the most wonderful ways. Flowers, doing dishes, sharing with me his joys and hobbies, massages for my sick back, learning our love song on his new ukulele (that was two weeks ago) bringing junk food, letting me pick the movie when he knew it would be a Disney again, hearing to me talk endlessly without sighing, laughing at my jokes and funny moves and looking at me with those sweet sparkling eyes.

However he had recently been less verbally expressive with his love for me. I had had a rough time and thus we had had a rough time, but we talked and we were making efforts. And one of the things I insisted on was that. Just, tell my I’m beautiful, nice, affectionate, wonderful, funny, that you love my passion and my eyes and my body and my brain! Tell me you live me more than anything, the me you are in love with me, tell me you are crazy about me! Fucking lie to me: tell me I’m perfect! Was that so hard? Is that what made you leave? Am I so repulsive?

Anyway... he calls me, we talk, I do something, he doesn’t react, I remind him I’ve shown him my concerns regarding telling me nice things. And then the dreaded words “about that... we need to talk”

We need to talk? Really? What happened now? Did I do something? Oh god what is it? “Not right now, when we see each other” Okay? So it’s that bad???? Is there a complaint? Will this be an argument? Or worse will he ask for a break???? I would rather not have him lie next me after we come home from the concert if we have just argued and ruin the night...

“No tell me now! It’s better” (silly me)

and then about how he felt weird about us this weekend and he could see I wanted him to say things but he just couldn’t. And then me going into warrior mode, thinking about how hurt I was with my ex. And I laugh hysterically. “I’m not gonna break up with you! If that is how you want it you have to do it” “you cannot play with my feelings” then him “I’m not even sure i want to break up with you” and then “well honey come back to me when you’ve decided” and hanging up.

I told him, after hanging up on his calls 10 times and calling my best friend in sweats, he could call me again if he wanted. He answered, said he wanted things to be over. I told him I loved him, that I was happy and I didn’t understand I thought he was too. I didn’t expect that. This weekend, last week, everything? Had that been a lie? All that happiness? How could one person wake up and say such beautiful things to me and 6 hours later say such painful things? My body ached, I couldn’t breathe, I wanted to yell and cry and say a part of me was being ripped out of my damn ribcage.

I asked him are you certain. I asked again. I asked if he wouldn’t prefer a break. We could fix this if only he communicated... “ did you talk to someone?” thinking maybe someone pushed him to do this... he said no... I said “you should, this is not a decision to be made lightly”. I mean yes we’re young it’s not the end of the world but we are also each other’s first serious relation; and each other’s support in our city; and we partically live together; and that has been more than two years of our lives. I asked again “are you 100% sure with this decision?” “Yes” “do you still love me?” He looked down, i knew immediately I shouldn’t have asked. I hurried up to tell him to please not answer. I should never forget: don’t ask questions you do not want the answers to.

He wanted to talk... I wouldn’t let him. I told him, to me talking will only be beneficial if it is to try to fix things. If you are absolutely certain you do not want to be with me anymore then why talk? Just so he could vent to me? Just so I could reassure him and he could tell me everything that was wrong with me and us. And hurt me and hurt me and hurt me again. Just so he could feel better about himself. Because I know he doesn’t have anyone with who he can talk about this. (Sadly enough for me, pathetically enough, I keep feeling sad for him, thinking he’s probably in need of someone to talk to, I should messages his cousin or his friend, I should message him, I should be there for him, even tho I’m the thing he wants out)

So I hung up. And I cried, and cried, and cried. I called for help. I felt like fainting. I felt like oxygen no longer existed. First thoughts? Running to my mother. Crying in her arms. Second thought? I don’t understand, i thought we were happy, last week was so happy, the messages of the weekend, the dog photos he sent me because he saw dogs and he knew it would make me happy? The sweet voice message from this morning? Thursdays concert? Vienna? How can this happen? This is not happening. This is not happening. How could it? It’s not possible. He will change his mind. Why is this happening? Is it my fault? I don’t understand? What did I do? What happened, what happened, this is not happening.

My rescue cavalry arrived. I cried the whole afternoon. My friend left. I cried the next day waking up. I went to my university town for my meeting. I went him and with my mothers help removed the box of photos of us and me and him he had sent to be printed through a special service and gave to me last week. I removed the pictures from the walls, the letters from the nightstand drawer, the birthday card, the teacups, his towel, his pajama, his flip flops, his toothbrush... I walked to my faculty. Every student in a suit made me shiver. Could it be him? I had to be alone to walk to my faculty I cried a little. I couldn’t breathe and I still hadn’t eaten since the day before. I met with my professor, I managed to remain okay. At the end of the meeting I close my notes and see my screen image. Him. Us. Disney. What a wonderful time that was. I broke down in front of the front office lady. Quickly ran back to my car.

Ugh I had written more but I was erased. This was initially just to write a few lines to vent but turns out it helped venting it all out.

I conclusion I’m dumb and want him to change his mind and be like oh these days without talking to her are hell. But fear he’s actually happier... or is taking to somebody else to compensate...

I need to get over this. He is selfish. I have been unable to work on my research paper for tomorrow which lens I am going to have to fail it. It makes me so stressed and angry. He could have waited.

Also I gave him many chances to communicate. If we were on trial period I needed to know. I needed to know everything was not perfect. Now I’m devastated. He betrayed me and broke a dozen promises we had made that we would communicate and tell each other if there was any doubt. It would be better to hear there was doubt and have a chance to fix it than losing each other forever.

I am worth more than how he handled these past weeks. I thought everything was fine. He was a better liar and hypocrite than I thought. Either this is indeed an over the weekend over an hour decision. And then he is an idiot. Or it was well prepared and thought over. And then he is an asshole for not telling me earlier, and for telling me during my exam, when he knows how I react to things emotionally.

I will be better. I will find hapinesss. I will learn to be alone again. I will find someone else. Someone as perfect, someone who I also think to be the man from my childhood dreams. Someone who wears suits and is classy and old fashioned, someone who likes music and plays an instrument, someone who understands sinuses problems and maybe even back problems too. Someone who likes culture and museums and concerts and theatre and dancing. Someone who likes good food and wine. Someone like him, but better for me. Someone who will communicate, who will not leave me because I’m going through a difficult time, who will not feel bad because I have higher grades than him, because I have more friends in our university city than him. Someone who will not tell me he doesn’t understand and to calm down when I’m having anxiety. Someone who will not mock how I am socially because he knows the introvert me, because I was comfortable enough around him to be like I am when I am alone. Someone who will know not to hurt me during wrong times. Someone who will respect my boundaries. Someone who won’t be weirdly jealous. Someone who will understand my culture and thus my relationship with my mother. Who will not be weirded out by my relationship with my dog. Who will not bring attention to him and how it makes him sad and how he is confused when I am the one telling him I’m feeling unwell. Someone who will love me for who I am, flaws, illnesses, anxiety, family problems, traumas, phobias and all.

[sevenclowds]

Frank Weekend

My account of going to see Frank Iero and the Patience play at the Baltimore Soundstage in Maryland, Sat Apr 22 2017.

My companions for the weekend are my 19 yr old and my friend's 16 yr old daughter. Both their names begin with C and will henceforth be known collectively as C&C. My teen was forced to listen introduced to MCR from the age of 7 and obviously has great musical taste. My friend's teen is a huge fan of the Emo Trinity, but is not familiar with Frank's non-MCR work. "Is Frank the drummer for MCR?" she asks innocently. Oh dear. We gotta lotta educating to do this weekend. Someone needs to save this poor child.

[Very long post. You probably want to put the kettle on for this.]

We leave North Carolina at 8am and make our first stop at 10am at a Starbucks. It is here that I purchase a fateful cup of coffee that will keep me buzzed for the next 19 hrs. Just how strong is Starbucks Pike Place Roast? And what on earth possessed me, a caffeine lightweight, to get a grande instead of a tall? It'll help me keep awake while driving, I thought. Someone punch me.

I treat C&C to my music on the drive. My iTunes music library appears to be like my blog: 95% MCR with the occasional snippet of something random. We make sure to play plenty of Frank, for educational purposes. C&C are huge Hamilton nerds and we listen to the soundtrack as we near DC. As we pass the capital city, I point out that Washington is now literally on our side. Groan. #momjokes

We arrive at our hotel in Baltimore around 4pm, then go out around 5pm. We walk past The Soundstage and there are lots of people lined up waiting to get in. I'm so happy to see several Frank fans wearing the same Death Spells hoodie as me and as we walk past I feel really fucking cool! These are my people! My tribe! They will see my DS merch and know that I am one of them! Whereas last week, walking round Harris Teeter, I felt vaguely conspicuous in my black hoodie with the scorpion on the back, but now, I fit in. I am home. If I didn't have C&C with me I would be lining up there with them. But I have to feed my teens and not leave them to stand outside in the rain, so I sigh, and head toward Shake Shack for some food that we'll loosely call "dinner", like a grown up.

After eating some fries, we head to a spiffy steampunky Barnes & Noble where C&C, both devoted book nerds, are in heaven and bond further over their love of fiction. I'm itching to get to the venue but it's still raining and cold and they're having so much fun that we don't head over there until about 7.30pm.

VIP Ticket Fiasco Two months previously, when buying the tickets online, I wasn't quite fast enough to get the VIP tickets and I sat at my computer spitting curses and venom at those who managed to buy them in 0.2 milliseconds flat. The VIP experience included a private acoustic session before the show, a copy of Parachutes, and a seat in the posh table-and-chairs bit near the side of the stage. But alas, it wasn't to be so I made do with the regular tickets.

So, as we enter the venue, we're informed that we can upgrade to the posh section for an extra $10 each. C&C look thrilled at this idea, and my kid has issues with being in crowds and had been intending to stand quietly near the back, so this is a fantastic opportunity to get a great view without the crush. I relent and upgrade, even though I'm crying inside because I know we've missed out on the private session earlier and I just want to die. Fuck me, I get to sit at a table like somebody's mom. Kill me now. My plan is to stay with C&C for a couple of songs and then venture out into the crowd, but that damn parental mode kicks in and I feel guilty about leaving them so I stay. But actually, the view is really great, even though the atmosphere in the VIP area is nonexistent.

Dave Hause and the Mermaid open the show with some so-so rock stuff. Perfectly fine and competent band to fill the time, although nothing too exciting until the last song, dedicated to Trump, and called Dirty Fucker, causes the crowd to go wild.

Then Frank Iero and his Beardy Wondergroup come out, launch into World Destroyer, and time ceases to exist. It's the first time I've seen Frank since 2007 when he wore his Black Parade jacket (sniff) so I'm very emotional and I'm grinning the whole time. I realize I don't know as many lyrics as I'd like to, on account of Frank lyrics being hard to learn without serious study, which I haven't had time for. I do my best and probably sing a pile of nonsense for the most part. He tells us that today is the first time he's showered in 5 days. Why so gross? He tells us a story about how bad the crime is in Baltimore, which makes everyone nervous about getting home tonight.

I take some great photos

And some not so great photos

After the show, we head to the pizza place next to the venue to kill time until the band hopefully come out. We huddle in the corner by the door and eat pizza. I can't really taste it. Maybe it's because it's gluten free and vegan, maybe it's because I'm really not quite in my body. I realize I'm shaking and figure it's still The Coffee I had earlier plus added adrenaline and fatigue.

I message Kyle @casesandcapitals to come meet us in the pizza place because I know he's here somewhere and we've never met before. Next thing I know, Jen @jen--ne--sais--quoi and Kyle are walking in and I realize three fundamental truths at the exact same time: 

1. Jen has intimidating make-up skills 

2. Kyle IS recognizable without the 5ft tall metal flamingo

3. These people are way too cool for me

I am a little excitable and extra when meeting them and their friends Abbi @grewuponyourbackporch and Cole, but mainly because Jen's jacket is all kinds of awesome.

My new friends eat pizza and go outside to wait again but it's too cold for us so we stay in the restaurant. I feel really sick, I'm still shaking and I feel like crap. In my fevered state I manage to post the same pic to Facebook twice and cannot for the life of me get anyone's name right in the above photo that I post to tumblr. My brain has gone. I'm a mess. I'm not really in my body and I wonder if they'll put "death by frank" as my cause of death.

We go to join everyone outside at about 1.30am because those band members aren't going to meet themselves and we don't want to miss it. It's fucking freezing! You can tell the direction that everyone has traveled to the show by how many blankets they're shivering under. Southerners are suffering and northerners don't give a shit because they're tough as nails. My kid discovers their Hamilton hoodie isn't at all warm but I'm not going to give them my hoodie because I need to meet Frank in my Death Spells hoodie because I'm shallow and a really bad parent. I actually choose to let a child freeze because I want Frank to know I'm a fan and not just someone's mom. Priorities, people!

Evan and Alex keep appearing and disappearing again. They mill around and meet folks, clearly enjoying themselves or at least faking it really well. Me and C&C go stand in the parking garage entrance for a bit because it's possibly 5 degrees warmer than outside. It's 2.20am. C&C want to give it until 2.30 before we leave. It's clear by now that Frank isn't going to come out. But he ALWAYS comes out. I'm faced with the reality of having to leave without meeting him and I'm distraught. I comfort C&C because I feel bad for making them wait all this time but they end up comforting and hugging me. They tell me to wait until 3am and to come speak to Evan because he's being adorable and there's hardly anyone left so we'll have him to ourselves. And so we do, and he's just the loveliest, sweetest man and he fixates on the fact that me and the kiddo are British, haha! We tell him we drove 8 hrs today and he should come to North Carolina. He agrees and says he loves Chapel Hill so maybe that'll happen some day (yeah right). He imparts wisdom on doing what you love and not being obsessed with grades because they won't matter once you leave school. He starts talking to someone else and just as we're thinking of leaving, there's a tap on my shoulder and someone behind me yells, "Oh! Nando's!" It's Evan again, wanting to tell me about his favorite British experience - a restaurant that serves the best chicken. He's so enthusiastic as we discuss Nando's menu, particularly the veggie options and the bean burger. Hilarious! He's my new favorite person without a doubt.

It's 3am and we leave, jogging back to the hotel (because Frank's made us nervous about Baltimore). We get to the room and I get into bed in my clothes because it's too cold to consider taking anything off. My body is still buzzing (can it STILL be The Coffee from this morning or is it shivering?). I get maybe 1-2 hrs sleep because my mind insists on composing Hamilton/FIATP hybrid songs and some of them are actually quite good so I stay up and listen to the inside of my head.

Next day we drive back to NC. It takes 7.5 hrs. I force C&C to listen to the entire Death Spells album and even a little bit of Leathermouth just because I know it's what Jen would have wanted 💜