#they should honestly just stay friends
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My mutual @writertyozzie123 asked for me to expand so now I will
Nark still wouldn’t work in a non forgotten realms world! This isn’t like some sort of dramatic doomed gays that they are to me in canon they’re mostly just not compatible. This is also taking from the angle of just how all the kids were in ep 1 so the way to the soccer game pre-any development that happens in the podcast and not assuming they’d follow similar arcs in just everyday life. So we’re using Nick Close characterization ONLY! But obvs still including characterization from the podcast bc that’s what we get so like this is what I believe they’d be like in a no forgotten realms world, so if u disagree fair enough!
Basically it boils down to me that lark in confrontational and nick is avoidant. Lark shown to take most issues head on unless he is certain he would fail and even then he doesn’t typically run away from or avoid them but instead uses whatever he has to give himself leverage. He’s smart and a little cunning and an instigator and a little shit! Nick has issues with avoidance especially emotionally. He typically distracts himself to avoid his issues or makes “white” lies to “fix” whatever issue he’s in. (Like the battle axe and wanting to ditch the other dads [which is why there quotations over white bc what not an insignificant lie]) And Nick is a people pleaser but he’s a cool people pleaser ya know bc he’s trying to make his dad think he’s cool. Basically, Lark would be a chaotic little shit and would probably annoy Nick but (in this hypothetical where they are dating so Nick is being a people pleaser to Lark) he would act like it’s nothing and never talk abt this issue, unless it came to a head. And when Lark catches Nick in a lie he will directly confront Nick who would likely avoid this or lie in a way that would “make lark happy” but lark would probably keep prodding at this issue until Nick snaps. Like two magnets pushing away! Basically they have major communication issues!! To me it’s like two people who are fine but both have shit they need to work on but they are just not compatible for each other
However Nicholas Foster and Lark!? They could work a little better? Most bc of the nature of the origin of Nicholas’s people pleasing he doesn’t care much abt social coolness but coolness to his dad which would lend itself more likely for a break away (like a teenage rebellious phase) from this and lark being this weird smart chaotic kid Nicholas has known for years (and who was a dickhead) and is a kid Nicholas knows and could be someone that could be a “bad influence” and maybe someday an actual friend. Basically they’re a little more likely to be compatible bc Nicholas does feel as much of a social pressure in school as nick so it would be easier for Nicholas to break out of people pleasing as unlike nick he’d be less scared of losing like all of his friends bc he’s no longer cool bc he was never cool
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#lark oak garcia#nick close#Nicholas foster#nark#nark nation#I feel like i phrased this like nick is the ‘big issue’ in the relationship#but that’s very wrong#bc lark is also an instigator#and would probably provoke nick or start issues bc he’s a little shit#or bc he wants to find out what would happen#basically like I said they’re both mentally ill in ways that would hurt the other so they could maybe be friends#and I very much want nark to work in a non forgotten realms world#I think like if they followed more mundane experiences that still shape them to be like they are by the end#they could maybe work#but maybe I’m just delusional#also I don’t think Nicholas and lark would really work well long term#bc lark is still an instigator in a lot of ways so unless they both help each other grow out of their issues#they should honestly just stay friends#lunarrosette’s shit#sorry if this makes no sense it’s been something microwaving in my brain and this is the best I can explain it#bc I’m trying to transfer a nark fic I wrote to a basically non forgotten realms world#also divorcing it from dndads so I can submit it to my school potentially
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HI MY BELOVED ANGEL!!! i am sending u mattsun + campfire as well as kisses n hugs <33
SAINTTT hello 🥺 thank you for sending a prompty!! 🥹 idt i've ever written mattsun fully before so this is something new!
help me get back into the writing groove! send me a character + any word and i'll write a short blurb about it!
contains: exes, stranded-y situation, feelings are complicated, some expletives
mattsun + campfire
"i told you we should've brought the spare—"
"yeah, let me go back in time for a sec and do just that."
"asshole."
lesson #1: nothing good ever happens when you're stuck in a car with your ex on the way to somewhere remote.
you blame iwaizumi for this one. who the fuck chooses to spend their birthday weekend in the fucking wilderness?
(okay, you don't actually think it's so bad. to be fair, he did plan this a year ago. and it did sound like a good idea. then. at the time. anywhere with the boys was always guaranteed fun―at least, until you and matsukawa broke up.)
"can you pass me the flashlight?" he points at the backpack behind you. when you hand it over, your fingers brush over his as he takes it away from you.
and you hate it, because―
lesson #2: you should never be alone with your ex when you still have feelings for them.
you'd agreed to take two cars to the camping spot: iwaizumi's with oikawa and hanamaki and matsukawa's with you. there was no way you'd fit in one, and hanamaki ultimately decided to ride with iwaizumi because, "you and mattsun have shit to sort out," he'd said.
with night setting and the two-hour headstart they managed to get ahead of you, the best thing you and matsukawa can do is to set up camp temporarily and wait for them to come back for you come sunrise.
you sigh.
leaves crack underneath your feet as you maneuver around your camping space. the light from matsukawa's flashlight tells you where he is, just a bit deeper in the forestry as he looks for wood to help set up the fire.
you unload the car in the meantime, bringing out some snacks and sleeping bags while waiting.
matsukawa eventually comes back with arms full of wood, and you help in whatever way you can, clearing the space and fetching more twigs when needed.
the entire car ride here had been quiet, so it's not surprising that this entire process has been equally as silent. until―
"did you already pull out your tent?" he asks, half of his body disappearing into the trunk of the car.
"huh?" you go closer, "i only brought out the sleeping bags."
then he sighs, ducking out from the trunk with a hand on his hip, "we only have one tent."
"what?"
"makki must have gotten yours with his when he decided to move cars."
his hand runs through his hair, a habit you know well. it lights up all sorts of weird feelings in your tummy
you don't know how to feel―
"i can sleep in the car."
―but you know that you definitely don't want him to do that. all things considered, you were friends first. and you've both been trying to be friends again since the breakup. you wouldn't want to cause him discomfort like that.
so, with a deep breath, you say, "it's okay, we can just share."
"are you sure?" he stares at you.
you nod.
after setting up the tent, you eat a few energy bars and clean up from the day's events. the campfire provides ample enough heat, but with how fast the flames are burning, you're doubtful it'll last the two of you the entire night.
it’s much later on, past midnight, that your doubts are proven right when you and matsukawa are cramped together in a tent made for one. it started to get cold a few minutes ago, and you've found yourself inching closer and closer to the warmth you’ve gotten used to laying against for the past two years.
he's only pretending to be asleep, you know that much, too. the rise and fall of his chest is hardly there; you can see it, how he's holding his breath being this close to you.
"issei," you whisper.
he opens his eyes, eyelids lifting lazily as he meets your stare. the vibration of his hum reverberates to you.
"it's cold."
for a moment, your stomach drops at the thought that he could ignore you; how it would make perfect sense for him to. you broke up with him after all, and he doesn't owe you anything, much less favors as intimate as this one.
but he closes the already dwindling gap between you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he pulls you closer. it's near, far too near for exes to be―noses touching and all.
"warmer?" his voice comes out hoarser through the whisper.
you nod, your head shifting up and down—which, truly, is where you ultimately fuck up. you feel it, a little chapped but still pliant against your lips.
in your carelessness, you accidentally brush your lips against his, the sensation alone surprising you enough to inch your head back as you mutter your apologies.
"sorry? really?" he asks, eyes half-lidded still as he chuckles.
his question settles into the small space you're in.
your vision trails from his eyes, down to the slope of his nose, until it lands on his lips again. a little split like you've always known, but still your favorite. still the only lips you want against yours.
when you lean in again, you know you're fucked, because―
lesson #3: the number one rule is that exes shouldn't kiss each other anymore.
#mattsun x reader#matsukawa x reader#hq x reader#shotorus.workbook#WAAAAAH i hope u like this saint !!!#ive never rlly written mattsun in length before so i hope i captured him enough ?????#i feel like he's such a tough balance to write (bc i am not witty at all and i feel like he would be HAHAHA)#anyway !!! some stuff abt the fic: the split was amicable for the most part#but the reason why makki says reader and mattsun have stuff to sort out is because there's like a weird tension~~ that he feels around them#and its kind of like. they bicker? and snap at each other like exes do but also it's just like. why do u care abt what the other does so mu#if you arent together anymore ?? typa thing. its like. they argue but in a way couples normally do if that makes sense#HONESTLY MAKKI WOULDNT HAVE ALSO MINDED STAYING WITH THEM cos he likes to watch HAHA but i think#he joined iwaoi more as a 'ill give u guys time together to fuck it out or wtvr just dont be weird on iwa's bday' typa thing#they were also together for a while! friends first and everything hmmm the reason why reader broke up with him#can be up to you! but my intention was for it to be something fixable and just more fitting for a 'break' typa thing#not necessarily a breakup#also the iwa car went ahead and they have the spare tire so they can go back and help but better in the daylight#i think thats all !!!#i hope you like it !!#ask#rep#saint.🩸#honestly these just keep getting longer hAHAH i should follow my 20 minute cap more#ask rep answered#heartsyougave
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Hi I'm mad
#this is the only place I can vent about My Hero stuff#I'm so pissed that Toga is dead it's so fucked up#like everything about it is so fucked up#it started with Jin being killed#all he wanted to do was protect his friends#but Hawks mercilessly killed him while he begged for his life#and then in the big battle Toga didn't get to kill Hawks and avenge her friend#and that scum gets to live and continue being a hero#and then Toga dies too while characters with significantly worse injuries somehow survive#like are you shitting me she dies when DABI survived???#dude is a charcoal skeleton there's no fucking way he should be alive#and Uraraka went through this whole deal of questioning heroes' actions because of what Toga said to her#Toga and Uraraka finally reaching an understanding and bonding just for Toga to die is such garbage#Toga wanted to be accepted and she found it in the League#then had to watch her friends all die when all most of them wanted was just a better society#but she could have stayed with Uraraka#it would have been so much more meaningful if Toga had lived and inspired Uraraka to go into like social work#helping people who were outcasts because of their quirks#working with Toga who also knew about Spinner and Jin and Shigaraki's experiences#it's just disgusting and shows that the author doesn't understand his own world#it honestly also gives off homophobia#like he had these little glimmers of queer rep with Magne and Toga#but Magne was brutally killed#Toga died after the briefest gay moment with her and Uraraka#plus we know Jin was an ally because he threatened to kill another villain for misgendering Magne but Jin died too#honestly the only highlights of this ending for me are that Nagant and Gentle/La Brava got to live and be free#I've read this far but I honestly don't know if I care enough to finish now that Toga is seemingly confirmed dead#this is why I don't pick up shonen manga or anime anymore#toga himiko#ochako uraraka
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I was describing DFF to a friend from CQL fandom and she said New with Non sounded kind of like Huaisang with Mingjue, and it def clarified a lot for me about how I feel about both avenging brothers.
The ends don't justify the means, the cats and children and working class servants murdered along the way aren't erasable casualties in the name of a true justice, and these avengers are fundamentally unhinged, twisted, broken people, not righteous seekers of fairness in the world. But I love that both of them are driven by real desperation and are frantic and messy in how much they need to make their revenge happen at any cost; someone trying to burn the world down in their grief, and actually taking the good parts of the world and themselves down along with their target(s), adds so much texture and dimension to the narrative for me.
I love a justice story and an ethical revenge, but for example w/ The Glory, even though that's for me the best it's ever been done, we still have things like a woman being victim-blamed for her rape and drug addiction as narratively acceptable modes of vengeance. I find something freeing in a story that isn't about punishment and who deserves what, but just about the emotional depths people are driven to by loss and rage and the unfairness of a world with no accountability.
#i hope that makes sense i should not be on the computer rn#like it's not just that it's a tragedy and no one wins or something#i'm deeply sympathetic to huaisang and new - honestly they rip my HEART out#but it doesn't mean i think they're making all or even mostly righteous choices#it's similar to how i feel about ter from 3 will be free when he goes around murdering all my favorite side characters#sometimes the wrongness and cruelty of who they hurt for their revenge makes it more honest for me#than if they actually managed to stay within lines of presumable fairness#and also like i said i love the desperation and franticness#huaisang was not murdering cats because he decided the cats had it coming#he was trying to stay one step ahead of a brilliant+ruthless master strategist and making absolutely bugfuck choices in the name of that#i wonder how new was supporting himself and his DRUG LABORATORY after he stopped getting that allowance#did he at some point leave school like tee did and just work during the day and do revenge chemistry at night#i'll never stop thinking about how alone he was this entire time too#men will literally spend years refining a murder hallucinogen instead of go to therapy#dead friend forever#dff#new prathipsit#mdzs#nie huaisang#dear diary
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stupid garbage brainstorming for possibilities w gandhi + abe in future seasons . normally id type the words out onto the drawing afterwards but this is just so cringe and self indulgent thst it doesn’t matter enough to do that
#mine#the show actually having them date i should say i honestly consider Literally impossible#not only is this show like allergic to actually doing anything that involves mlm in a way that isnt joking or in the background#but i also feel like.. idk im so used to people seeing relationships like theirs as Just Friends that i Imagine the writers thinking that-#way too where like if someone pitched the idea of abe n gandhi actually having repressed feelings for eachother that were just never made-#clear in season 1 for various reasons (well apart from. You Know. and the list goes on but that’s not what im talking about at this second)#if someone were to pitch that idea theyd be like. What?? No!! Theyre only friends! ya know#and even absolutely then i cant imagine them not making it angsty like at all. of course in my world they would bc Its Gandhabe They’re-#Literally In Love Forever And Nothing Can Come Between That but like canonically? its pretty much guaranteed they’d break up obviously bc-#that’s just what this show is#honeslty my dream scenario? my personal favourite out of all these outcomes? the one where it’s implied heavily that theyre in love but-#the show does nothing with it and they just stay best frriends. that’s what im Most happy with personally#and it’s like… literally the closest to their relationship as it is already without anything else happening#okay bye#i love gandhabe did you know this
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love how my friends visit my in my state One Time and immediately go “oh u poor thing. we need to help u leave here Immediately.”
#blue chatter#on the one hand I get why they don’t like my state and why they’re saying this#and I love and appreciate them and their compassion#on the other hand#it is a little funny#(as in actually funny not like sarcastic funny)#guys I’ve lived here just fine for so many years#I’m okay I prommy#staying til I graduate will not suck the soul from my body I swear#they are also going ‘we should make plans so it’s easier for you to Move Here Instead’ and super honestly#I am not complaining about that At All#there is a small part of me that’s like :( don’t roast my state :( it’s part of my life :( I love her#it’s not all bad. we have the best ice cream flavor.#yes the city we visited is vampirically preying on its most vulnerable citizens and is full of ghosts#cities do that generally I’m pretty sure#friends: Not Like This They Don’t?????#me: hmm. idk. feels normal to me.
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You sent me an ask so I shall return the favor! What is the most recent Kpop group you’ve gotten into and how did you find out about them? I always love hearing fan “origin stories” lol
Thank you for returning the favor~ That would be The Boyz 🥰💖 I love hearing fan "origin stories" too hehe (This is gonna get long I love them sm)
Anyways I've known about them since debut? I loved Bloom Bloom Pow with my whole heart when it came out and tried to fall for them then- It didn't work. The next time was when The Stealer (TS) came out~ I had watched them perform for Road to Kingdom- because ptg was on the show too- But I really loved TS cb- sm so that I bought the album about 6 mos later with my favorite members as inclusions at the time (Eric, Kevin and Hyunjae). But nothing came about of it even after watching the weekly idol episodes... Then came Whisper era and I ended up biasing Changmin (Q) and loving that song but again nothing came out of it.
(A little backstory is that Changkyun (I.M) got me into Dominic Fike's music-) Thus, when tiktok showed me Juyeon, Changmin, and Sunwoo dancing to Babydoll earlier this year as a dance cover: I fell. And then I finally checked out Watch It~ But Hui had his solo and it distracted me completely from falling further. Then I had gotten sick and decided 'well, what if I watch their content?' And I did... I watched their hello82 interview and their reaction to fanart of them, and lastly their mafia dance. And I loved each sm that I decided to check out more.
It was the first time I had watched their content and wanted to see more. And now, I watch their content almost daily. It's kind of like they revived the joy of kpop for me? My (old) ult of ults has been on hiatus due to the military so it's been stagnant content lately for me. But then they came in like a breath of fresh air- and I simply can't get enough. This month will be 3 mos and I honestly hope I'll follow them for a long time. (I think they're my new ult of ults tbh)
And lastly now here I am as a Younghoon and Juyeon bias (with bias wrecker: Changmin... he's doing everything to be bias again). And with them having a comeback I loved with my whole heart this past month, I think it really solidified them with me. Honestly, I'm so happy with them.
#my 'fan origin story' hehe#lovely mutuals#asks#kate rambles from here#i even started a new kpop journal just dedicated to them and my thoughts- it's a 200 page journal and i have nearly 50 pages about them#and i started it in february ebhbha-#it's so funny because i saw one of my ults' concerts in theater the month before they should have became the ult of ults and here tbz comes#if the theory is true that you fall in love with certain people/groups/things at certain time then that means even when#i wanted to fall in love with them- that i had to wait until now to fall for them even if i wanted to fast forward it- i think now is a#perfect time- it's when i need them most i think- and fuck i could go on about them forever and why they mean sm to me in such little#time but oh how i love these guys-#no seriously everything i wish they could do- i find out they've done or will do- or for like pcs i like them a certain way and by golly#does yh do my favorite poses- and their music is just ?!?! i love it sm- ofc i've listened to them before a lot but ?? it's my speed rn#kate rambles#did i drag my close friend into them too? yes- yes I did- but she had full free will- she could have stayed on the happy mbb boat instead#of jumping into the water and swimming to lip gloss island with me- but alas she didn't so it's even more fun cause i get to be a new#deobi with her- and it's literally the best experiance i could have ever asked for- she prolly won't see these (i'm banking on it) and#honestly i'm so thankful for her- for joining me in this 'insanity' we've gotten ourselves into- i'm glad we were both stolen from our mbb#home together- it's sm fun to talk about tbz with her- because she's experiencing them new just like i am- i could go on here too#but i won't- so i'll stop here- i love these boyz sm tbh (every time i say it even if it's a lot- it doesn't feel enough)
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‘tis i, nonbinary transfem tuvok enthusiast and recently i’ve been pondering the dynamic between her and transmasc b’elanna torres…. i love thinking of them having long conversations together about gender and cultural histories and their life paths and mental issues (real)
also tuvok’s quote of “there is nothing wrong in choosing to live” would be such an emotional statement to tell b’elanna who canonically has depression (they just like me fr). anyways these are my thoughts today take care my friend!! <3
I don't personally see Tuvok as being a positive person for B'Elanna to talk to about much of anything personal without like, some sort of change to how they interact with one another since I think he'd both intentionally and unintentionally antagonize her BUT I can absolutely see them looking at each other and feeling the gender envy even before they know what that particular sensation is. Knowing B'Elanna I bet she'd worry she has some kind of weird crush on him hehehe~ Someone starts a group for queer members of the crew to meet but it seems like more of a dating thing and they're all human and no one else is trans so B'Elanna leaves and runs into Tuvok and is like "Oh! I didn't see you in there." because it's common knowledge by this point that Tuvok's trans but Tuvok just does that 'obviously.' look and goes "...No." so B'Elanna leaves her alone but they happen to run into each other next week and the week after and it eventually becomes an unofficial thing and it's a real rollercoaster. It's a real russian roulette of what kind of a time you're gonna have - sometimes it ends in a fight and sometimes it ends in the most insightful realization you'll ever have. Such is life on Voyager... Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day too~!!
#I see many people cite that episode where he taught her meditation as them getting along but I think he 1000% failed to be helpful at all#and mainly just reluctantly and impatiently taught her how to meditate while sort of insulting her - B'Elanna taking his lessons to heart#is really all on her v_v#Tuvok isn't exactly the kindest person in the world ... yet he cares about people. Complicated man v_v He'll stay up for two weeks straight#trying to rescue you and then make a crack at how he thinks Klingons are barbaric ... honestly I'd say B'Elanna should yell at him but I#think he'd just go 'ah...my point proven. v_v' BUT I DO. THINK THEY'RE SUCH AN INTERESTING POTENTIAL PAIR??#Not romantically - I mean pair of characters together bc they have SO MANY SIMILARITIES !!!! It's INSANE!!!#they truly deserved a character development 'getting closer' episode#honestly maybe this gender thing would do it...hehe maybe they'd finally have to talk it out bc they're the only other person o nthe ship#who'd understand....the power of being trans~!!#I hope this doesn't come off as negative - I liked this ask and I like Tuvok <3#+ comforting things don't have to be in line with canon...nor is my interpretation of canon the be all end all#+ transmasc B'Elanna...embrace your short king swag <3<3#this post is half inspired by my friend inviting me to join my school's GSA in middle school and me saying yeah absolutely!#then running away when their back was turned v_v SORRY#I really do hope this doesn't come off negative or rude - I don't want people thinking I'm gonna be rude if they share their thoughts#and headcanons with me =_= but I have trouble with tone...#Q&A#anon
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#ramblings#honestly ive had a really terrible holiday#like summer break is supposed to be good but seeing family wasnt fun like it usually is#the cousin i usually hung out with is an asshole now who didnt even want to talk#so the fun part wasnt fun#i havent seen any of my friends all holidays . i feel like shit and i feel fucking lonely#the only people ive interacted with really are my family and thats horrible because my sister acts like a stereotypical mean girl#ive got no fucking will to leave my room or to fucking eat properly or do just about anything other than sit in my room#and now im about to go back to school . ive accomplished not even close to enough of what ive needed to#ive forgotten everything from math . my tech is probably behind . english should be finished but its not#chemistry is completley half assed#and i know i should be getting up and fixing tht but i cant i fuckign cant do anything#its probably all my fault i have to stop staying up so late im so fucking tired#i dont want to go back to school i dont feel like ive had a break even though ive done nothing all holiday#im so fucking done with this shit#vent#ask to tag#i guess
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cw anti st*ggy and st*cky joke:
its funny how much i hate st*ggy considering i also dont like st*cky romantically
#but funnily enough i AM a steve/sam and b*cky/sam girl#but thats the one poly i wont approve of#for me u do u friends#how many tags do i have to do before it no longer shows up in tags brw#bc the fandoms for both of those ships are vile#esp when u admit to preferring sam w both of them they just get plain r*cist sometimes#i know its 20 to stay out of the tags but#will 20 also stop the flaggings from picking it up bc i dont wanna do that either#i wanna make sure your tag blocks work yknow#wtf even is sam and b/uckys pairing name#like im a b/uckyn/at aka w/interwi/dow girlie as well and they have both#is it like… w/interfa/lcon????#why is b/uckys name first it should be sams#honestly that fandom is wild if you talk abt ships nnur ships arent the popular ones like#i woll dully admit i ship wild stuff too#not rly wild if m*rv*l cared enough to actually build the rels peoperly but like#as a comic reader im a st*ron fan and im forever mad at how they#royally fucked up sh/arons story just bc they wanted to fuck w h/ayley a/twell a known woman hater posing as a f/eminist#i do like st*ny but only when done right bc lbr… they couldnt even do theirn#friendship right enough to make cw actually impactful#and i dont understand why ‘literally was earning almost a billion per movie at the time even before they all were’ m*rv*l#chose to fuck w what cap 3 was to ‘compete w b/atman v s/uperman’ like#they had zero to worry abt ppl wont even pay attention to zacks films and pick apart anything to hate they can#ppl hate subtle storytelling which is how he storytells he hates shoving the plot in your face he wants you to overthink it#and they were launching the universe then like it was NEVER going to be a competition they just freaked tf out for no reason#losers#ima tag them now hopefully i dont end up int he tags if u have those antis blacklisted lmk if it works#anti steggy#anti stucky
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the way my heart sank . lol
#tried to get on a call to study w my gf bc weve both been avoiding stuff we Have to do and its been making us anxious#but esp her bc shes been in this cycle for a while and shes struggling w it a lot . and i love her and i want the best for her#and all my friends r like u should push each other to do better even if its uncomfortable somewhat and i agree#so we were like. yh lets do stuff / get on our work tmrw even tho its anxiety-inducing etc...and then we got on a call#and this is the most like. bored/displeased ive ever heard her sound like she seemed extremely disinterested and even mildly irritated#and it honestly shocked me ??? so i ended the call bc i need to do work and it was making me sad#and im trying to listen to words more than tone but it was so extreme and such a sudden change that it literally wasnt good for me . im so#confused rn . like ik facing tasks youve been avoiding for months causes anxiety ik theres like a mental block around it that makes u not#want to deal w it or become irritated at ppl who suggest that you should#but omg?? it was so weird and like. when i said she was making me sad so i wanted to end the call she was like. ok 😐#which is a fair response ig but shes never responded to me that way b4...like what is this what is happening...#i want smn who encourages me to move forward and who appreciated that i want them to do the same#instead of staying stagnant and anxious for months. i talked abt this before on here and everyone collectively was like Be More Patient and#work through it w her etc etc (my friends said the exact opposite tho) and i have been Trying To but its making me feel actively . bad.#like. im Afraid.#to bring it up . and then when i finally did say yh lets do smth lets get thru this tgth she just shut down on me somehow#idk what else i can do#i will talk to her abt it later i just need to work rn. i had to get this out of my system first.#shes so sweet and wonderful and supportive usually. but when it comes to thsi topic. im rly shocked idk#i knew she felt bad abt it but i thought she agreed to move through it w me and i didnt expect her to direct it at me#like whatever i said shed give me the coldest ok 😐. like. again nothing inherently wrong w that but when contrasted w#the way she talks to me usually there IS smth wrong it . its jarring and uncomfortable and made me rly upset bc it felt like she was mad at#me for trying to help . idk#UGH whatever ill talk 2 her later i have to do this lecture itll help distract me
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i love putting my characters into situations but maybe sometimes i shouldn't.
#rethinking maybe i SHOULDN'T put Nome in. in a mind hellscape where they are slowly falling apart while being forced to watch their friends#nearly die over and over again. and them being forced to be an observer in all of those situatiions#ok yeah now that i actually say it outloud I really shouldn't do thAT.#like the original thought was haha what if they saw their friends memories from when THEY were trapped in mindscapes#and what if Nome can't do anything but be an observer?#like at first it was just a funny little thought but then i started expanding on it and only now i'm realizing that MAYBE IT SHOULD STAY#JUST A ''WHAT IF'' SCENARIO.#AND NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE ACTUAL STORY#Nome already faced a lot of horrors and honestly I'd rather not have them face any more unnecessary horrors#it's time for me to like. write how they go to the train station or something not slowly die in a torture mindscape.#they love trains maybe i should focus on the friendship dynamics they have with the art group that they go to#mjers void choir
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air was telling me about that ultimatum reality dating show thing & that’s crazy. I know it’s probably mostly the aromanticism but I can’t imagine clinging to someone when you’re at the point of making an ultimatum. I’d just leave.
#my ramblings#well I don’t want to fight to be in someone’s life#we’re all busy and of couse I’m gonna try to stay connected to pals#and there are some friends where you don’t talk for a year and then you have a nice convo and part ways again for another year#all chill#but there are. some things that can happen. [resentful]#wait I need to kick her out of something brb#OH MY GOD!!! THAT FEELS GREAT I can’t believe I’ve been waffling on that for like three years#BYE!!!!!#oh I also can delete her contact she probably doesn’t even have the same number#LMAO I ALREADY DID#BYE!!!!!! I KIND OF HATE YOU NOW BYE!!!!! and with that I can release my one-sided resentment and get on with my life#I think it’s also been 3+ years since the other situation as well#there wasn’t any dramatic fallout but honestly? cooked in the oven for a while but now I know: I’m mad as hell#they didn’t do anything wrong I’m just pissed and our ways of navigating relationships is incompatible#almost wish I didn’t block him months ago it would’ve felt great to block him now#wow this is great.#I should get stuck in another one-sided resentment loop so I can block them in 5-7 years and feel this rush again.#lmao
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happy new years to myself. and my weird online friends and mutuals
#this past December has been hell for me honestly.#i hope 2024 isnt as bad#ugh hold on i just need to recap this past year in the tags#the start of 2023 sucked a lot for me. i almost killed myself!!!#april-october was pretty good. i had some weird spark of motivation in terms of art all that time and it didnt even break once#and then november-december sucked too because of a falling out with certain friends and then december has been a dystopian nightmare and#family related problems going on too#honestly the whole year has had a lot of ups and downs To Be Honest#im sure 2024 isnt going to be any better but heres to hoping i guess#another edit to the thing about the friends falling out. they recently invited me back to the “”“Group Chat”“” for new year eve and#ive realized that just being around those people is so mind numbingly absurd#sometimes i realize that I AM NOT OBLIGATED TO BE AROUND PEOPLE I DO NOT LIKE FOR THE BENEFIT OF MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS.#like i should have realized this long ago that. some people you might be friends with/were friends with are just bad and annoying people!#i am not obligated to talk to stay with them for whatever reason they want me there for#UGH please you are not obligated to read this and TBH i should have just posted this to my alt
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Hmmmm.....
#i've been at my sister's for like? four days? three? idk i have no sense of time#decided to just stay once she got back/weather was real bad anyway. unexpected snowstorm#power's been out for like? two days? at my place? and a bunch of our friends places too lmfao#i think it'll come back soon people are working on it. but. hhhhhh#i actually have A Lot of trouble focusing deeply if i'm not in my own space and ESP if i'm around others#idk why i'm built like that. i brought all my art stuff but i am so aimless....... head empty.........#and then there's my thoughts that just unceremoniously got cut off LMFAO sorry#was gonna do an in-depth look at thrasir/veronica through an aromantic lense#i've been meaning to do that for a while but like. for certain things the vibe has to be Just Right#like if i'm not actively going insane about it it's just not happening LMFAOO#same for my bigger project too........ my comic............ please come back to me........#i really don't know what to do though. i'm not discontent i'm just bothered i'm not making use of my time#LIKE. ESP. when you take meds to be A Functioning Human. you feel a deep need to make the most of it.#not even like capitalist productivity propaganda wise. but honestly the fact that i do have to pay to live 'normally'#is a side effect of that tbh. capitalism is the problem. as always. we should destroy america#hhhhh.... i will. attemtp to draw. 🫡
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Do you consider any of the non protagonist yakuza girls well writen?
I think none of them had rights
#Thanks for the ask !#like you have to actively like girls to notice them theyre inconsequential#also who is this why are you sewing discorse in my inbox#i spelled discourse wrong. my mom ordered the dog trainers to train ollie right now because he is insane and hes eating soo many treats#not because hes a good boy but because they are tossing that shit at him#they were literally almost there with yasuko#i thought her story was so fucking interesting ...#like its really not a fault of the girls they are all pretty good characters in their own right#like we have a variety of them too. we had miss tatsu who was out there turning guys inside out but she randomly had to go get kidnapped in#order to complete kiryus training arc. like how funny would it be for the whole thing to be staged and miss tatsus like Lol good job kiryu#for passing my test. oh this guy ? yeah he did get the better of me but i kicked the shit out of him then roped him into my schemes. dont#you think practical application is more effective than training ? anyway theres nothing more i can teach you but you can come train whenevr#we didnt even get an in game appearance for yuko but apparently she was a massive troll but too cute to get into any real trouble#mirei was. . . i literally said ‘are you kidding me’ when they revealed what happened to her like seriously ? is this real ? they did#that ? like literally she should have been living it up in cahoots with katsuya and being so sexy and divorced forever. she should have#faked her death because every single parentsl figure haruka had leaves her. and god haruka like honest to god i love that she just ran off#like that i thought it was so kiryu of her to be an absent father. but also my friends have all brought up very good points which is that#haruka should NOT have gone back to morning glory like she should have stayed in ono michi with her loser girlfriend whos a boyfriend with#her new extended family and only go back every now and then to see her siblings honestly i hated that .... like girl spread your wings ..#choose where you want to roost stop going back !! just get out !!!!!! its literally okay to tell the rest of your family ‘i dont wanna wipe#your asses forever i love you guys but im out of here’. and god i .. as much as i loved y0 makoto should have left her shitassed husband#girl had a whole ass baby with him ... find someone better im sorry ..!!! like whatever i know that thst was the ‘best’ option for her and#she deserves financial stability and a rich doctor husband but she also deserves crazy sex with a girl with one eye#i think what yumi did was awesome but like. actually i have no complaints about yumi. wait no i do. kazama was a shitass for marrying her#off to that politician because he couldnt stand having a woman in his house. im now thinking of that unecessarily hot doctor from y0 wtf was#her deal. and god the unnecessarily hot cho-han lady from y5.. oh wait ako had rights. she fell in love with kiryu at first sight then got#over him which is literally the best thing a girl could do for herself. PLUS she throws molotovs and is generally awesome#i cant remember any other girl. oh yeah god reina. .. reina .... god milky though .... i think she was fantastic and i want her badly. and#yayoi fucking disappeared after a certain point in time and ran off to another city with her baby daddy and sugared him to open a bar#well its not canon but im certain thats what happened because she literally went radio silence like girl where are you ....
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