#they should have done this with buffy the vampire slayer

[littlenastieswewhispered]

“buffy ended the show single :)” ok but only because her current love interest just DIED!! (he near quite literally died in her arms! in sacrifice for her!) her last words of the entire series were telling him she loves him and then saying his name in admiration. she isn’t single; she’s a widow.

[camellcat]

idk how interested y'all would be but seeing as I am constantly trying to rec things I thought it'd be easier if I just put everything in one place, soooo. here's a spreadsheet I've been working on lately! 90% is spuffy so for the most part y'all should have a good time here. if you're bored and looking for something to read, here you shall find lots and lots and lots of fun stuff to go through x)

feel free to share with me even more fics ofc! doesn't even have to be spuffy, though I'd probably prefer it. I'm always looking for something new to read and would love to continue adding onto the list

[a-heart-of-kyber]

The Still Pretty podcast's read of Empty Spaces is...pretty off base. A big yike.

[the-crooked-library]

okay but like, as much as I am a fervent proponent of “not every ship should get married and in fact some of them would Never” - especially in context of enemies-to-lovers - I hope that everyone who sees me posting like that knows I am not talking about Spuffy. in fact, I would go so far as to say they are the two characters most willing and even desperate to get married that I’ve ever seen.

one of Buffy’s most persistent struggles is her right to girlhood and the inevitable expiration date she faces as the Slayer. she’s forced to fight and claw for every possible milestone that other girls around her take for granted - trying out for the cheer squad, running for prom queen, going to college, etc. one of the nightmares she has after killing Angel is about being unable to be a bride and get married. in Something Blue, she throws herself into wedding planning with a passion that speaks to her having daydreamed about it. in most cases, her commitment issues veer toward clinging rather than avoidance, and marriage is absolutely one of those beautiful, unreachable things that were ripped away from her when the Powers chose her. it haunts her.

Spike is probably even more obvious - he’s a man from Victorian England, a society that held marriage on a pedestal. furthermore, he is fundamentally a creature of devotion, never straying from Drusilla for over a century, and then from Buffy even after she was dead. their desperation is also quite similar - Spike’s original community had considered him undesirable, barring him from a love match; and while a union may have been arranged for him as a human, his vampirism took that option away entirely, in the same way that Buffy’s becoming did it. during Something Blue, he is just as committed to planning the minutiae of the wedding as Buffy is, even though they could’ve just decided to do it at the courthouse and get it over with under a shoehorned pretext. he’s been dreaming of a wedding for 150 years, let’s be real

Spuffy would’ve gone insane about a wedding. they would’ve fallen in love worse. they would have threatened each other with divorce constantly but stayed married anyway for however long they lived. hell, they should’ve done it just for the CPS reasons in season 6, just imagine having to hide it from everyone except the government, lest Anya thinks they’re trying to steal her thunder

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hades x Reader || Drabble

Plot: He's a villain; So you would- could never, ever fall in love with him.

'Sooner or later you're gonna want it. And the second- the second that happens, you know I'll sup in; have myself a real good day.' - Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

... But he'll still wait patiently, for you.

Warnings: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Mischaracterisation?

Tagging: @asperol-with-izzy , @disney-android-foundation , @lady-love88 , @marinerainbow , @miss_understood , and @yesthetrashbin .

The instant that you see the villain in your house, waiting for you again lounging on your bed, smoke spread all over the floor; you groan. "Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- "

Hades only shows a flicker or irritation by your obnoxiously drawn-out moan, before its snuffed out with a roll of his shoulders and he gets up from your bed. Now his head grazes the ceiling but he comes here so often, asking you on walks with him and bringing you dinner you couldn't have scrounged for yourself with a weeks pay despite how many time's you've told him no, never, so you're past the fear of him setting the house on fire. His yellow eyes glow in the dim room and, like always, it causes a little warmth to spready in the pit of your belly- you ignore it. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be gone in a sec, okay babe? I got places to be today, anyway. Just gimmie a minute, here."

"Why should I?"

"Uh- " This time real frustration passes over his face; settling for a few moments as he speaks. "Well you don't have that much of a choice, doya babe? So just shut up and listen, eh?"

Not-at-all scared, you just roll your eyes, setting your basket down on the side table and crossing your arms impatiently over your chest. "Fine. What do you want? I don't see any exotic fruits... another walk?"

Here, a smirk slips over his mouth; The flames atop his head give a happy crackle, and he gently shakes his head. "Not this time. Unless, I mean- you want to?? I can reschedule my meeting with the Fates, if you- " When he reads your expression, a familiar and cold 'hell no' written all over it, he sighs. Disappointed, but... not surprised at all, anymore. "Right. Right- uh, look babe. I just came here to let ya know, I... "

Hades? Lost for words?? That almost concerns you. Almost makes you lower your freezing cold exterior, and ask- ... but no. No. Instead, you tighten your arms over your chest and increase the impatient, expectant look in your eyes. Like, hurry up.

"... Okay. Look. I like you, (Full name). I might even go so far as to say I'm fallin' for ya- and thats new to me. I'm lost in some really unfamiliar waters, here," He chuckles, nervously, looking truly out of his depth for a moment. "Thats never happened to me before, this is new, and I- I- I'm tryin' to do it right. Sweep you off your feet; all that romantic jazz. Which I honestly think is kinda psychotic-... But uh... " His eyes lift from somewhere on the ground to your left, up to your eyes and he gives you another half-smirk. "I think we both know its not my thing."

... breaking your silence for a moment, you give a little tiny nod; not sure where this is going. "We do." You say quietly.

"Yea. Well, between you and me- its not workin' as well as you'd think, is it?"

"... no."

"Right, so," He rolls those broad shoulders again, giving his neck an uncomfortable stretch. "I'm uh- I'm gonna stop trying."

That gives you pause. " -What??"

"-not that I'm done here, exactly, no no no. I don't give up so easy, sweetheart. I'm gonna be here, or well- around. Waiting. And some day if... And someday when, you decide ya want me, then I'll come for ya. Just call."

Eyebrows furrowing, you suddenly remember something Hades said earlier. You'd almost forgotten it, because it seemed unimportant before, but now seems significant. "... Why are you going to meet with the fates?" Does he... know something? Is going to ask something?? What-

He just grins, infuriatingly. And his body begins to disappear into smoke, and your eyes widen- because- wait! "Remember what I just told you, babe. Keep it in mind, mull it over. I got nothin but time and I don't mind using it waiting on you. You're kinda worth it, eh?" -He didn't answer your question!

"But!- "

"Lookin' forward to your call, sweetheart."

"I'm not gonna call!- "

"Uhuh."

[prose-for-hire]

Evol (or, a backwards love story)

Pairing: Spike x reader

Request: Hey I love your spike x reader fics I was wondering if you could do one were like they both have a crush on eachother and he invites her over to his crypt but it's super fluffy and he makes it all romantic with candles and shit

Reader isn't a big fan of pink but doesn't like hate it or anything (just a heads up in case you love pink (like me) and it takes you out of the story).

Requested by: anon

A/N: Be kind please this is the first fic I've done in ages! Hope this is okay, love 💖

You had been in deep thought, your mind travelling ahead of you as your limbs tried to follow. But your wandering mind had led you down an unknown path. You had taken a strange turn somewhere and found yourself in unchartered territory.

You were at a crossroads, in almost pitch darkness. The streetlights had disappeared a couple of streets ago and you weren’t entirely sure where you were. You were fumbling through the dark now, trying to find something to hold onto, to anchor you.

You found yourself connecting with something, a figure in the shadows. You groaned, the last thing you needed tonight was to get eaten, your top was brand new. You recoiled slightly but a pair of steady hands righted you. He, of course, could see in the dark.

“What’re you doing round these parts, pet?” His voice came from the darkness, retracting his hands, a flame from his lighter ignited so that you could see.

“Got kinda turned around… I’m lost”

“Can’t have that, can we, love? If you’re not careful somethin’ nasty might eat you up” His eyes glinted with amusement, his lips curled slightly in that irresistible way he did. Even when he was being ‘evil’ he was attractive to you. You were doomed to fall for him.

“What did we talk about Spike?”

“Too much?”

“Only a little” you smiled despite yourself, now unable to look up from your feet. You were afraid that you would reveal too much, he could read you like a book. He always had, ever since you met a year ago.

It was tongues and teeth. Blood and sweat. You were backed against the wall, the vibrations from the music pulsing through you. You grasped the black t-shirt that clung to him so perfectly, the vampire you had only heard about.

You knew he and Buffy had faced each other on numerous occasions, you just happened to miss him each time. You had met them in college and had only known of the stories about William the Bloody at this point. But you always liked to judge people for yourself, anyway. And, well, you hadn’t realised how beautiful he was, you had been taken by him as soon as he stomped up to the bar and sulkily ordered a beer.

You heard voices through the crowd, through the headiness of that moment. Voices you recognised. You pulled away, your face a picture; as if you had seen a ghost. You weren’t supposed to be here,

“Go home” He had hissed, covering you as you slid away. Taking Buffy’s attention.

You should have known then he had a soft spot. Or, well, the potential for one. Usually he would have relished the awkwardness of Buffy walking in to find you kissing a vampire. Drinking with demons and beating them at kitten poker. But if he had the chance to do that again he wasn’t going to ruin it by getting the ultimate mood slayer involved, now was he.

But you hadn’t ever had any real time alone since. Sure, sometimes it felt like you were both the only people in the room but there was barely a chance to even allude to what you had done let alone reignite the moment again. Though he of course tried at every moment he got.

“Got have plans, love? My crypt’s only down the way” he spoke softly, almost tentatively if you didn’t know better.

“I’m late. I’m supposed to meet some… friends” You hesitated and you knew he caught it before you looked back into his eyes. Eyes you were slowly being lost in.

“Not those bloody losers again. You’re better than them”

“Those losers are actually my friends”

“Friends that you hide yourself from” He shrugged, not entirely able to drop it. He couldn’t hide his distaste for Buffy and the others.

Despite it all he gestured with his head, offering to take you to your friends. Even though you knew Sunnydale quite well after moving into your dorm a year ago and running around the town many times after (or often away from) demons, you still got lost a lot. It was a kind of running joke amongst the other scoobies.

He lit a cigarette as you rounded the corner, only pausing to offer you one which you declined with a soft smile. A smile that made him want to drop to his knees and declare his undying love for you. It pained him, how soft he was for you.

He shoved the other hand in the pocket of his duster, jaw tensing as he saw your friends speaking rapidly, apparently concerned about something. Willow noticed you first.

“We thought you’d been all ookified, we were worried!” She flung herself around you with a big smile of relief.

“You got lost, huh?” Buffy said with a smile, which quickly dropped when she noticed the company you were in.

“Yeah, Spike helped me get my bearings. Thanks, again” You grinned, despite Xander and Buffy’s distaste. Anya patted your head a little patronisingly at your habit of getting yourself lost.

“Anytime, pet”

“Yeah, right, evil dead is only good for being evil… and dead”

“Not that I’m not enjoying the boy’s wit, but I’ll be off now” He addressed only you, hoping to keep the barbs at his expense from the group to a minimum. Someone muttered something distasteful about Spike, which was of course in his earshot, but he didn’t turn back around.

“He’s, like, the lowest of the low.” someone agreed, shaking her head at the figure walking away.

You weren’t sure why that moment was the moment. Why you spoke something that had been so safely unspoken.

“Spike! Spike, wait-”

“Y/n, what’re you doing?!” your friends called after you, still in earshot as Spike ditched his cigarette and swung around to face you.

“Love, you go and do the friendship thing with the meddlin’ kids, okay? I’d rather stake myself than spend an evening with them”

“I know, I was wondering if the offer’s still on that is, well, I’m free tomorrow night”

He put both hands in his duster, rocking on the balls of his feet and looking down. It was as if he thought you were being cruel to him. Taking him up on his offer just to hurt him by rejecting him in the next breath with all your friends watching. He had to know you better than that, surely.

You reached for his arm, willing him to feel what you felt. Know what you knew. That you and him were meant for each other, that this chance that you were trying to take meant a lot. For someone you had kissed so passionately before it was strange how nervous you were suddenly at even grazing his skin.

“After sunset, tomorrow at your crypt?” You asked softly, though the vulnerability in your voice bled through. He saw it, he saw that your intentions were pure. There were some gasps and some vague unimpressed whispering from your friends behind you but you couldn’t bring yourself to take notice.

Instead you waited with bated breath for his answer. You knew he had offered earlier but there was always the chance he was doing it to tease you. That he had no interest in you. That he was playing with you, looking for something quick and easy. You could do that, of course you could, if it meant being close with him. But it may just break your heart beyond recognition.

This purgatory, which only lasted a second, felt like it lasted hours. Your grip on him tightened, as if you were afraid he would slip away from you.

He nodded, to anyone else it probably looked as if he wasn’t bothered. What he didn’t know was that you could read him in the way he did for you. You saw the slight upturn of his mouth before it disappeared, you noticed the way his eyes searched you with wonder for a fraction of a moment. You knew then, for sure, he felt for you as deeply as you had started to fall for him. Everything you had learned about him you held close, collecting it as the most valuable treasures.

You arrived the next night a minute after the sun set and promptly knocked on the door of Spike’s crypt. You could hear some scuffling about from behind the door and a lot of a British accent muttering ‘bloody bollocks’ every so often which made you smile softly.

You waited patiently until he swung the door open, allowing you to walk in. You gasped, he had transformed the main level of his crypt for the evening. There were candles everywhere, on every single available surface and surrounding the sofa where there was a couple of blankets piled up and a stack of VHS tapes.

There were wilted roses that had shed their petals all over the floor beside the TV set and you tried to ignore the high probability that these came from a few of the graves surrounding the crypt. Stuck haphazardly to the walls were pink and red hearts made from crepe paper and various strips hanging about.

I mean, it was a huge fire risk but you tried to ignore this fact as you appreciated his scattered decorations. You assumed that Spike was ensuring you were aware that he thought of this as a date.

“How was your night with America’s most haunted?” Spike asked, you could tell he was genuinely interested if you had a nice evening after he left you at the Bronze.

You told him everything in complete detail, you were a keen storyteller and he adored this about you. You spoke in such detail that he could picture himself there beside you as the night played out.

“Drink, pet?”

“Please”

You looked around as he started rummaging around with bottles and glasses. You read the words on some of the hearts, your brow furrowing slightly.

“EVOL? I think it’s spelt-”

“No, love, it was meant to be- they’re from the craft store. They, well, I didn’t want it to scare you off now did I?” He turned the heart around, the word was actually ‘love’. He hadn’t wanted you to think he was coming on too strong so he had hidden the word. Though the rose petals and the various pink and red crafts might well have done that if you hadn’t realised how deeply you felt for him.

You laughed, you couldn’t help it. You hadn’t been sure if he was making sure that all this romantic stuff didn’t take away from him being bad. Telling you he was ‘evil’.

He passed you a glass, different from usual where he would just drink straight from the bottle. You were surprised to note that it was your favourite drink. It was incredibly endearing that he had learned this about you, or perhaps it was his favourite and you just had that in common.

The glow of the candlelight accentuated his features, casting shadows from his cheekbones. You felt yourself leaning into him as he spoke animatedly, it was entirely involuntary. When you thought about it, you had done everything in reverse. You were tentatively courting after sharing a much more passionate moment the night you properly met. You much preferred it this way though, in some ways it cemented now just how much Spike had grown to care for you through the stolen moments you had together through the year.

Quick glances and lingering touches. The way he had thrown himself in front of a demon to ensure you would be safe. The way he always offered to walk you home, even if he was shot down every time by the slayer. He always made jokes in the hope that you would laugh.

The evening was lovely, you shared drinks and watched films together, while Spike made biting commentary on each scene. You were wrapped in a blanket while he stayed room temperature. He sat a little more rigidly than usual, seemingly unable to relax. He wanted the night to be perfect. He was concerned he might say something wrong, something a little too murderous and off-putting.

You hadn’t really been paying attention to the film. He had done everything to try and prove he was a man worthy of your love. You could sense he was holding back but you loved him for who he was, the flaws wrapped into the thread of his personality were just as important to you.

“I really like you, Spike. You don’t need to impress me, you know that right? I’m already yours, if you’d let me be” You spoke barely above a whisper. He turned to you, searching your face before a smile grew slowly on his lips. It was a smile you had only ever seen him give to you.

“You’re tellin’ me I can take all this sodding pink bollocks off my walls now then?”

“I mean, it’s a real improvement from the cobwebs but it’s not really my colour,” You grinned, pressing your lips to his quickly before pulling away.

You leaned against him as the night progressed, leaning your head into the crook of his neck. He shifted as you moved down the sofa so that you could comfortably rest against him. He inhaled, savouring your scent. It felt like home. He closed his eyes, focusing on your heartbeat thrum steadily. You were truly here, by his side.

Your body was made to fit beside his, you knew this as if it was fact. You couldn’t imagine a future where you wouldn’t hold each other. Or share moments such as this. The warmth from the candles and the care and attention that Spike continued to show you told you that his feelings at their core were clearly no act, his execution had been slightly exaggerated only because he hadn’t really dated in the usual way for a good few decades.

He slid his arm along the headrest behind you and you settled into watch the next movie. After a moment you realised his eyes were still trained on you, he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. When you looked at him, giving him a quizzical look, he just gestured back at the screen with his head a soft smile on his face.

If this was the first proper date, you were looking forward to the rest. In fact, as his arm snaked around you and pulled you close, you were not sure you would ever be ready to leave.

[coraniaid]

Buffy Summers is my favorite character on Buffy and (with a couple of exceptions that I prefer to put down to bad writing) I will always find her sympathetic, but. The only reading of the second half of Season 7 that makes any sense to me at all is that we are supposed to think Buffy is doing a pretty bad job of taking care of the Potentials, and that this is why they all end up choosing to gamble on Faith's leadership instead of hers. Like, yes, obviously Empty Places is a badly written episode and the central conflict isn't motivated very well and Dawn kicking Buffy out of her own house is absurd.

But I mean ... look, let's just pick a few of Buffy's inspiring speeches at random, shall we?

From Showtime, in which Buffy 'inspires' the Potentials by ... uh, fighting a powerful vampire while reminding them all how much stronger than them she is:

"Looks good [for the Turok-Han Buffy's about to fight], doesn't it? [The Potentials] are trapped in here. Terrified [...] and there's nothing they can do but wait. That's all they've been doing for days. Waiting to be picked off. Having nightmares about monsters that can't be killed. But I don't believe in that. I always find a way. I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about. And right now, you and me are gonna show 'em why."

Or from Potential, the very next episode, when Buffy follows that up by telling the Potentials over and over again how likely they are to die:

"You’re all going to die. But you knew that already because that’s the cool reward for being human. […] Don’t kid yourselves, you guys. This whole thing is all about death. You think you’re different because you might be the next Slayer? Death is what a Slayer breathes, what a Slayer dreams about when she sleeps. Death is what a Slayer lives. […] The odds are against us. Time is against us. And some of us will die in this battle."

And from Get It Done, speaking after they just found out that a young Potential called Chloe killed herself:

"Anyone want to say a few words about Chloe? Let me. Chloe was an idiot. Chloe was stupid. She was weak. And anyone in a rush to be the next dead body I bury, it's easy. Just…think of Chloe, and do what she did. […] I'm the slayer. The one with the power. […] I've been carrying you - all of you - too far, too long. Ride's over."

See also, Buffy's speech in Selfless ("there's just me ... I am the law".) See also her admission in Conversations With Dead People that she thinks she's better than all the guys she's ever dated.

To me, it feels obvious that the intended arc of this season, however imperfectly executed, is that Buffy has a sense of herself as uniquely and especially "the one with the power'", but that she's never had any real leadership or mentorship role before and she doesn't know how to use that power to look after all of the Potentials. That she's afraid she won't be able to protect them all and so doesn't want to make emotional connections with them and tells herself (and them) over and over that some of them are going to die no matter what and they just have to accept that. That she tries to keep them at arm's length and hide how badly their deaths actually do affect her, and that she adopts a protective tough-love approach which backfires spectacularly. And that eventually she realizes this approach isn't working and that she should be trying to share her power with them instead of using it to tell them what to do.

And yet so many people on here seem to think that when the Potentials get (understandably) upset about this -- upset about being called weak and stupid by a woman who barely seems to know their names and can't seem to stop reminding them that she has power and that they don't -- that we're meant to think "oh, they are all so ungrateful and unpleasant and Buffy is a saint for taking such good care of them anyway". That her "arc" this season is that she is perfect and doesn't need to learn anything and doesn't have to change in any way, all while people keep giving her shit for literally no reason.

And I just don't see how that makes sense! I just don't find it an interesting narrative and I don't really see how the show itself supports it. The Buffy Summers who gives the speeches I quoted above wouldn't think of sharing her power with others. That's an idea she only comes to when she realizes that being "the thing that monsters have nightmares about" is no substitute for being a good leader and making real connections with other people.

[raisedbythetv89]

Listennnnn to be loved is to be seen

Buffy is SURROUNDED by people who project and project and project some more onto her without ever truly seeing her and just trying to force her to be whatever they want/need her to be often leaving her feeling used, abused, and lonely.

And so while yes on the surface the Buffy bot is icky as hell and obviously irl all of us would be rightfully horrified if that happened to us. This is fictional and with a still evil but trying to be good but with no human soul to help guide him on how to be good Spike - who has been rejected and is honoring that rejection and finding a solution to leave real Buffy alone by giving him a place to put all his feelings for Buffy somewhere that isn’t Buffy herself - programs her so well and therefore showing how well he sees and understands her!! NO ONE ELSE could have programmed that exact Buffy that was believable enough to fool her friends. So yes it’s twisted but this is a vampire falling in love with the slayer if you want completely healthy truly go elsewhere lololol but so the bot is used to show just how well Spike truly understands her and more importantly what he loves about her which given the partner she had right before this was Riley who VERY CLEARLY hated how strong she was and that she was the slayer…

spike is like SHE NEEDS A DEDICATED SLAYER FOLDER

HE PUT THE YEAR WILLOW CAME OUT IN HER BIO 😭😭😭😭 angel and riley truly could never in a million years pay close enough attention to the people in her life that Buffy cares about to add info like that

The choice of “make spike happy” instead of something like “pleasing spike” feels significant because it’s able to encompass a wider range of things including her care for her friends since that seems to be the active folder when she’s accessing information on them. Buffy caring about other people makes him happy even though he’s morally grey at best at this moment 😭 AND TWO KISSING PROGRAMS ARE THE VERY FIRST THINGS IN THAT FOLDER 😭😭😭 he doesn’t just “want to fuck her” like people try to claim he wants to love her 🥲 he wants her kisses like I’m gonna throw up from how disgustingly tender and heartbreaking that is

Buffy bot calls both her and Buffy very pretty and tells Giles he “should listen to the other Buffy because she’s very smart”. Spike made sure the Buffy bot was a Buffy that loved herself and valued her intelligence like I cannot even begin to tell you how NONE of this is your run of the mill making just a sex bot of your crush because not being able to have sex with them upsets you. He wants to love her because he knows she needs it as much as he wants to give it to her

We have this moment where Buffy bot has finally found Spike who she’s been looking for and worried about the whole time and seemingly only cares about him and no one else and she sees he’s SEVERELY injured yet when Giles calls for help Buffy bot responds at the same time as Buffy does and runs to his aide leaving Spike like she’s still just so BUFFY at her core even if the superficial aspects have been changed 😭

if we compare this moment to the one in something blue where xander calls out for help in the crypt in an IDENTICAL situation yet ACTUAL BUFFY just continues to make out with Spike when he’s not even injured at all 💀 like Spike didn’t even give Buffy bot the “extra love sick” component Buffy herself exhibits for him on multiple occasions 😭

and of course - WE END WITH THIS KISS AND THE WAY SHE’S FUCKING LOOKING AT HIM BRO 😩 she’s like holy shit he was for real when he said he loved me no one has ever done anything like this for me while simultaneously showing how COMPLETELY loyal and obsessed they are and how well they know and love all of me AND my sister like

‼️I CAN DEPEND ON HIM‼️

So close to death even Xander is feeling sympathy for him yet clocks IMMEDIATELY it’s her and she’s just like hi 🥹 yes it’s me, I really just did that. I see you and what you did for me. HAVE HOPE KEEP TRYING DONT GIVE UP.

If Buffy loves you she forgives you pretty easily and I personally think that’s what we’re seeing here with Spike like kissing him in the same ep she learns of the Buffy bot is low key CRAZY 😹 but truly people who have done less for her have done far worse!!! The bot kept dawn and tara from being taken instead and he proved he would protect both of them with his life and like she already loves him which is why she even went for the kiss she was like REALLY THE SITUATION CALLS FOR IT WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO 🤷🏼‍♀️

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

Our victors, everyone! After over two months of polls, we have our winners, our beloved ladies done the absolute dirtiest. Writers, take heed: do not follow in their writers' footsteps! Learn from the pitfalls their writing fell into, and do better! Delightful characters, all three, who were mistreated by the narrative and written with misogynistic tropes that should not be replicated.

In third place, we have Misa Amane from Death Note!

In second place, we have Cordelia Chase from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series!

And finally, in first place, we have Bumble from Warrior Cats!

Stay tuned, everyone, the Misogynistic Media Tournament to determine the series we should replicate least when it comes to writing ladies and beat with a Respect Women bat most will be coming December 5, 2023 at 12pm EST over at @misogynisticmediatournament!

[tyrantisterror]

A Dozen Or So Great Vampire Ladies

Ok, so, on a mostly unrelated post the topic of good vampire ladies came up, and @bisexualdaikaiju suggested/challenged me to do a top 10 vampire women list. As a self-professed lover of vampire women, it felt like a challenge I couldn't back down from. But it is kind of challenging, for two kind of contradictory reasons.

First, while there are MANY female vampires in fiction, most of them feel like afterthoughts, getting far less characterization than their male counterparts, who more often than not are the star villains of the show. When these supporting lady vampires do get something to do, it's generally the same role: make their human lovers sad when they rise from the dead as a monster that has to be killed, an emotional beat that is often undercut by a lot of these vampire women not getting much characterization to endear them to us before they died. Everyone wants to have the Lucy Westerna plot beat from Dracula but they don't want to do the work that Bram did to make Lucy lovable. The lady vamps who get to step out of Lucy's shadow are rare - but that just makes them all the more wonderful.

The second problem is that, since this is an obsession of mine that few seem to share (there are lots of vampire fans, but man do the boy vamps get to hog the spotlight among them), I've done a lot of scattered thinking about it and I just know I'm bound to forget at least one excellent lady vampire character that should be here. And whittling it down to ten, and trying to rank them? That's too hard! My thoughts are too mercurial to do that reliably in a way I don't forget!

So instead here's a list of, like, a dozen or so lady vampires that I think are just fucking stellar, many of which I think break the mold of what pop culture makes us expect lady vampires to be. It is not ranked - I love all these characters more or less equally, and think it's a lot more interesting to see how they take their archetype in different directions than to figure out which one is "best" of the lot.

Carmilla Karnstein

I'm going to start with the most famous literary female vampire, Mircalla Karnstein from Carmilla. I think she might be the first vampire to have an unhealthy obsession with using anagrams of her real name as aliases, though I'm sure now that I've typed that someone will find an earlier example to school me. She's also the one who popularized the idea of lady vampires being extremely sapphic, with an arguably genuine romantic affection for her female victims. She's got well-deserved clout, basically, and like Dracula has been adapted countless times and reinterpreted in some excellent ways. My favorite screen Carmilla is Ingrid Pitt's take, which captures her fierceness, passion, and tragic nature so well.

2. Amy from Fright Night

Ok, we're having one Lucy Westerna knockoff on this list, but as Lucy knockoffs go, Amy is one of the best. It actually helps that she spends 90% of her movie as a human, because we get to know and love her so much before she turns monstrous. And once she does...

It is pants-shittingly terrifying. I will never stop raving about the vampire designs in this movie - they made their "game faces" so fucking monstrous and I feel like in a better world this would be the standard ever since, especially since they still gave the vampires pathos while making them so ghastly when they've got their feeding faces on.

3. Drusilla

Buffy the Vampire Slayer had a bunch of vampire characters, and to its credit they did a decent job of making the ladies just as distinct as the gents. Harmony and Darla could both have made this list, but my favorite was always Drusilla, who was so traumatized before she became a vampire that it kind of overwhelms the demon spirit inside her. Like, bare minimum thing to make a lady vampire more interesting than 90% of other female vampires in fiction: give her at least one personality trait, preferably an interesting one, outside of being a vampire. Drusilla's fun, and she survives the entire series after dumping her boyfriend to be a single female vampire. Good for her.

4. Ruby from Scary Godmother

Ok look I am a fake Scary Godmother fan but kudos to the artist of the books for making a lady vampire who's very clearly of the nosferatu mold and is also explicitly benign and sweet. A+ vampire lady character design. I hope it doesn't awaken anything in me.

5. Nadja

What We Do in the Shadows is excellent at finding new takes on vampires in general - it even made me actually like Psychic Vampires as a concept, a feat I thought was impossible - but goddamn do I love Nadja specifically. She's got a distinct personality as vampire ladies go, being very confident and self-assured while also being a complete fucking goober (it is a comedy, after all). She's perfectly capable of being terrifying AND hilarious, often at the same time. A vampire girl failure, in the parlance of our site. I love her.

6. Lady Dimitrescu

I know that she's apparently only in a fourth of the game, but it's still pretty great that Resident Evil 8 decided its mascot villain - its equivalent of the Tyrant, G, Nemesis, etc. - would be the hottest woman I've ever seen a milf an 8 foot tall lady vampire. She's not dainty and willowy like most lady vamps in fiction - not an ambush hunter - but rather HUGE and capable of tossing a human around like a rag doll. She's a physical powerhouse and she looks fine feminine while doing it. Despite being an unabashed blood-sucking monster, she still has enough depth and complexity to have important relationships (like a genuine love for her "giant mass of hive mind flies" daughters), and also she gets to have an awesome transformation into a fungal vampire dragon, which is rad as hell. Also goddamn, her fashion sense is immaculate.

7. Hecate from Hellboy

"Hey, she's not a vampire! She's a goddess! That doesn't count!" Fuck you, my list, my rules. Hecate posits herself as the progenitor and mother of vampires, she drinks blood, and her main form in the comic is as a sicknasty lamia version of the iron maiden used by Elizabeth fucking Bathory, if she doesn't count as a vampire, nothing should. She is the concept of a vampire amped up to maximum capacity, a major mythological figure and an awesome villain.

...also I lowkey shipped her and Hellboy when I was a teenager. They could have made it work!

8 - 12. Carmilla and her girl squad from Castlevania

I suppose I could have counted Castlevania's Carmilla as an adaptation of Miss Karnstein - they're both basted out of Styria, both sapphic, and it's clear she's meant to be an adaptation of the former, just as the Dracula of this show is meant to be a take on Bram's famous vampire. But ultimately they're VERY different characters in the grand scheme of things - Castlevania's Carmilla has none of the tenderness and vulnerability of her literary counterpart, instead being full of barely restrained fury. She is an excellent villain, complex enough to be interesting but thoroughly despicable enough to make it VERY satisfying when she bites it.

I also love her girl posse... in concept, at least. They've all got great designs and the groundwork of interesting characters, but of the the three, only Lenore, the waifish redhead, gets to do much of note. The two on the edges kind of just show up for a few scenes and then bail before the plot catches up to them, doing very little of note - though at least the big hunky one gets one of the coolest fight scenes in the whole show.

Back to Lenore though - she gets a really nice character arc, and manages to become one of the few sympathetic vampires in the series (while still doing a lot of monstrous shit - she is not a defanged vampire by any stretch). I think her death scene is one of the most moving moments in the series finale.

13. Seras Victoria

A good female vampire has at least one non-vampire part of her personality, right? Ok, so, Seras is:

the muscle in almost every scene she is, which is to say, the one absolutely beating the shit out of people while her allies run for cover

the perky henchman/morality pet of one of history's greatest monsters

the sole ray of sunshine in cast of edgy, cigar-chomping grizzled mercnaries and antiheroes she's been pressganged into fighting alongside

the victim of some HIDEOUS trauma even before her vampirization

the protege of a wise master who gets a full hero's journey arc, taking up his mantle at the end of the series

Like, I love her. She's the secret protagonist of Hellsing. She's got layers like an onion. The scene where she killed Zora Blitz reminded me why I love anime.

(yeah it's the TFS version fuck you)

14. Youko Shiragami

My Monster Secret is not a horror manga. It is a romantic comedy about a bunch of idiots trying to keep painfully obvious secrets hidden and succeeding only because almost everyone around them is as dumb as they are, just in very different ways. It is a manga where an entire chapter can be summarized as "all the characters race to get the last McRib, using their various supernatural abilities to try and cheat their way to the front of the pack." It is one of the funniest and most heart-warming stories I have ever read, one of my favorite romances of all time, and an excellent piece of long form story-telling.

One of the two main characters is Youko Shiragami, a vampire girl who can't let anyone know she's a vampire or else her dad will pull her out of school. She desperately wants to have a normal life with friends and, like, school shenanigans, but her fear of people uncovering her secret and hating her is so immense that she's been isolating herself from everyone, accidentally torturing herself by being close to what she wants but unable to actually have it.

At least, until Kuromine, the other main character of the story, discovers her secret while trying to ask her out on a date. He ends up promising to keep her secret, and the two of them form a real friendship that blossoms into a very sweet romance, where Youko gets to display all her incongruous personality traits that go against what you'd expect of vampires - namely, that she's kind of a ditz, with an unrefined style of speech and a complete inability to be suave and seductive. She's a sweet, flaky goofball with a big heart, who just happens to drink blood and tan really quickly in the sunlight. There is no other vampire like her, and the world is richer for her being in it.

15. Marceline, the Vampire Queen

This list isn't ranked, but if it was, I'd put Marceline at the top. I think she is not only the most unique and deeply characterized lady vampire in fiction, but ranks right up there with Dracula in how she redefines the idea of what a vampire can be. Like, look at the forms she takes!

There are DOZENS of different monstrous shapes Marceline takes during Adventure Time's 9+ seasons of television, and any one of them would be a superb and memorable vampire on its own. And she's ALL of them. Just on a design standpoint, she is a standout. I think only Dracula himself could compete.

But she also explores what the concept of what a vampire is in ways no other vampire in fiction can, in part because of the unique nature of Adventure Time's setting. In a world where humans are an extreme minority and most people are weird monsters, a vampire isn't that odd, so we get to explore what being a vampire means divorced from the comparison to "normal" human beings. There's the expected tragedy to Marceline, of course - she's a 16 year old who has been stuck in that adolescent state for hundreds of years, and much of her character arc over the show (including the magnificent vampire-centric storyline, "Stakes") focuses on the horror of being stuck in that transitional state, not quite a child but not quite an adult. Marceline struggles to mature, to understand herself and others, and her vampirism both keeps her distant from reaching those goals but also gives her a lot of time to figure out how to approach them when the opportunity arirves. Marceline goes from one of the most immature and selfish characters in the show to perhaps the most emotionally intelligent, blossoming into a sensitive and thoughtful person she could never have been without first becoming a creature that seems so inherently opposed to ever having those traits.

And she did it all in a children's show where she was rarely if ever allowed to actually drink blood - a problem the writers got around by having her suck the red color out of things, which is right up there with the Joker Venom from BTAS in terms of genius ideas spawned by children's show censorship.

Marceline is the GOAT.

[noneatnonedotcom]

demi xander au episode ideas

season 1, while xander has kept his name out of the papers for the most part it should be noted that he's been a vampire hunter for effectively 5 years and his curse of living in interesting times plus his stronger scent means that until buffy showed up he was the center of a lot of bullshit going on in sunnydale. for season 1 i'd probably have the revilation that xander's been fighting vamps since he was about ten be slowly revealed with willow and Giles doing the uncovering as they see some of the more mundane things he's done. recovering stolen items for museums tracking down thieves dealing with "violent gangs" it should paint the picture of a vet of dealing with vampires but still being limited in his abilities.

beyond that i think you'd get like 2 episodes extra focusing on the "tragic backstory TM" of xander perfectly normal human vampire hunter. with the mystery of what he was doing and why deaths pre buffy were so low being a background thing.

i'd also probably add in an episode showing xander's taking over buffy's "shift" so she has more time to hang with willow and be a normal teenaged girl. overall with xander hiding aspects of himself in season 1 it's more about the mystery surrounding him happening in the background.

season two

with the death of the master normal vampires are kinda missing, xander's going insane with peace and is starting to get twitchy. episode where xander is revealed to be sleeping with several older women in sunnydale buffy and willow are jealous for some strange reason except willow she knows why she's jealous. xander almost gets eaten by the mantis demon, but since he's not a virgin buffy and willow save him before he has to reveal his skills. Giles and Xander bond in a father son moment, something rare after the issue with the hyena spirit being fought off by him. Giles poor choice of words when trying to figure out how xander did that made xander worried Giles was going to dig too deep and decide xander was close enough to a demon. because Giles is under the impression that Xander was just a normal human child going though the whole vampire hunter thing they actually have a heart to heart about how difficult it was for both of them to be warriors when no one around them could really know.

xander is seen around town with a gaggle of preteen and younger girls. buffy and willow assume the worst but are even more confused when they find out that these kids he's been hanging around with are his "half siblings" and xander tells them that he's a bastard

xander's siblings really like buffy and willow and wanna get them hooked up, they might have used some love mojo and conspired to have xander actually dress nicely for once right when the girls come by. xander has to explain to the other demigods that he's trying to find people who like him independent of his divine blessings. they head back to camp half blood after this.

xander starts dating cordelia and it's right when buffy needed his support with the whole angel thing. angle keeps taunting buffy saying that xander isn't what she thinks he is.

while trying to get buffy's mind off of angel willow takes the group to the beach for a day, a little mini vacation that xander manages to get the okay for from Giles, by explaining that he can have some "co workers" keep things safe for a weekend. giles doesn't know that his co workers are kids of Ares who are spoiling for a fight and needed an enemy they could blow steam off on. but the news that a patrol of demigods is on the hunt keeps angelus and co laying low till the slayer comes back.

meanwhile at the beach buffy catches xander shirtless and realizes that while he's built like a greek god he's also more scars than skin. giles and willow tell their version of xander's backstory and we get an over the top story about normal vampire hunter xander in a gritty urban fantasy setting with neo noir vibes.

that's all i got for now. any suggestions for xander focused episodes or background plots? keep in mind my goal is to keep buffy as the main character, xander's just the goofy best friend who seems to have a history

@weatherman667 beyond ideas for episodes i never decided what greek or roman god would be after xander and causing problems for him in an attempt to make xander theirs. suggestions would be helpful :) @heliosthegriffin i know you haven't watched buffy but still let me know what you'd do for episodes

[camellcat]

I love spuffy as much as the next guy but ohhh my gawddd I really kinda wish it had been buffy wil and xand to finish the fight. they started it together, and while they've always had outside help, I just think it would've been so good if each of them had their own big important parts to play since this was the last we get to see of them

[thepassionofthenerd]

Welcome to the super-edit of the Season One Buffy Guides. In honor of 'The Gift' incoming, we thought it would be fun to revisit the Season One videos. I…don't remember the videos being this short. For reference, this video that encompasses 12 episodes of the show, is only slightly longer than the ONE we did for 'Into the Woods.'

Quick refresher since it's been 10 years, I started this channel by making a video called 'Why You Should Watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.' And in it, I said I would provide a quick skip guide to help people get to what I considered "the good stuff" in the show. I never imagined that ten years later, I'd still be making that skip guide…only it would've become what the channel is today. How things have changed.

Just a reminder that, going forward, Patrons and YouTube members (via the Join button) will get early access to content as we complete it, while we aim to release new videos every few weeks here on YouTube. I am proud of the hard work Lani, Jack, and I have been doing to try and get the channel rebooted but we started this process with some pretty serious heifers to get through.

Next up: -Monday we’ll release the Season Five finale episode guide: The Gift. The script for which is done, recorded, and being edited now. -Our video covering the Pylea arc will be next. -If you’d like to support the channel and get early access, check out our Patreon page here: https://www.patreon.com/c/passionofthenerd.

Thanks for watching and for your support—exciting things ahead! ✨

[reginaphalangelobster125]

Valentine's Day Ask Game

I know I might be a little late but I thought this could be fun!

Rules:

No Smut

Nothing Illegal

No Starker (romantic)

No Thorki (romantic)

No Buffy/Giles (romantic)

No Doctor/Donna (romantic)

Platonic or Romantic

Poly ships are workable but I'm not sure how good I'll be at writing them, I've only done one so far (that I posted)

Please be respectful when sending an ask/request

Anons welcome

Request/asks can be sent with a song, trope, prompt, full explanation or just character names

Age gaps are fine just as long as they are both over 18

All fics/drabbles will be x reader

Female or gender neutral reader only

AUs:

I'm not really into AUs unless it reverses a characters death

I'd love to hear your different ideas in asks/requests but there are a few I'm not going to write for:

Omegaverse

Soulmate AU

Anything where the characters aren't superheroes/slayers/vampires/gods/aliens/whatever you want to call The Doctor

I prefer the characters to stay basically themselves

Tropes:

I'm definitely open to your favourite tropes but here are a few of mine (although some may just be base plots but anyways):

Wearing each other's clothes (I wrote the first of I'm sure to be multiple fics based solely on this)

Mutual pining/idiots in love (especially when another character has to step in and tell them they're in love)

Comforting after a nightmare (both or character or reader, love it all)

One of them being a in their terms "awful person" because of murder or just letting people die and the other telling them they're perfect

Some kind of spell or technology going wrong and one or both of them falling in love (more)/telling the truth about their love

Killing for each other (you know, if they have too)

Forced proximity

One bed

Characters:

Pretty much any Marvel/X-Men, Doctor Who and Buffy The Vampire Slayer/Angel main characters

I'm almost up to date on Marvel/X-Men so I apologise if I don't recognise any names. I've watched all of BTVS/Angel and Doctor Who so I should recognise all names there.

DISCLAIMER: I have only seen most of the Marvel/X-Men TV shows and movies and I have read none of the comics, so my writing will be based off of what I know.

Please don't feel nervous or shy when sending an ask/request, everyone is welcome. If you do feel nervous or shy that's what the anonymous button is for, please use it. Please specify if you want romantic or platonic if you care either way.

This event ends on the 16th of February 2025

All in all I think this could be really fun, so please enjoy!

Tags:

Marvel

@impetusofadream @goldfishthegr8 @avengers-official-recruit-agent @goreygirl03 @xenasolos @sparklyturtlefox @rios-sythe @nekoannie-chan @ilovemarvel12 @hayneyney @n3ponen @8812-342 @everyonesfriend @pinkthick @craftytacopiecash @meryuniverse @aliljaybird @yelldontwhisper @justhereforthememesnangst @lonely-core

X-Men

@thegirlsmorgue @1dluver13xx @beeeoop @waffle-wolf-666 @clownp33 @california-boys-and-sun @starsaroundmyscarsblog @kds1999 @everyonesfriend @pinkthick @craftytacopiecash @meryuniverse @karaishotgirl @aliljaybird @burningcatcollectorsblog-blog @summer200baby @hanahaki-garden @dr3adful-lust

Doctor Who

@codex-arcene @skarkkie @annie-does-art @colorfulmusicgardener @huntersroses @meryuniverse @craftytacopiecash @pinkthick @aliljaybird @charliesart16

Buffy The Vampire Slayer/Angel

@pinkthick @craftytacopiecash @meryuniverse @aliljaybird @thesimppotato11 @vixyl7

Sorry I couldn't fit anymore hashtags

Dividers by @strangegraphics and @saradika-graphics

[magickinthewillows]

It was a gift that she should have discarded a long time ago, ever since the incidents surrounding Phoebe's ex-fiancé had occurred, but every time that she picked up her tarot deck with the intention of throwing it out something would always stop her. Curiosity, needing to help her sisters.. She would always find a reason to use the cards rather than to toss them out.

As she shuffled her deck, feeling an urge to hear what they had to say, she waited for a couple of them to tumble onto the coffee table in front of her. Except, they never did. Except, that one card flew out of the deck and onto a nearby map.

"Oh-kay," Paige said, slowly, putting down her tarot deck. "My cards have never done that before..."

Piper looked up, nodding towards the map, having just caught a glimpse of the unusual event herself. "Where did it land?" It wasn't unusual for them to scry for people or demons, but they normally used crystals and not cards and the crystals never jumped out of their hands the way that Paige's tarot card did.

"Um, a place called... Sunnydale. I've never heard of it before."

"Me neither. What card was it?"

Paige didn't answer as she looked down at the card.

The Lovers.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Charmed crossover, with Paige Matthews and Tara Maclay pairing.

[whosdinkleyhenderson]

PROLOGUE

Previous part: Y/N L/N'S BIOGRAPHY

Next part: CHAPTER 1

“I swear to God, Timmy. If that bitch is there, I’m gonna Rocky Balboa her non-existent ass.” 

A little giggle escaped her make-up artist Erin’s lips. A satisfactory smile appeared on the h/c’s face. 

Timothee had been pacing and snapped his head at her girl in the make-up chair.

“You will not be Rocky Balboa, anyone’s ass, anywhere.” He hissed sternly.

Y/n had to suppress her e/c eyes from an oncoming eye roll. It wasn’t her fault she couldn’t stand the bitch. 

“Timmy, she fat-shamed Selena. How can I just stand there, smile, and go ‘omg hiiiii. Nah, me oh, it’s cool that you fat-shamed my non-biological sister and gave her hell’ with the sweetest tone and then giggle. Like a dickhead.” 

She dramatised, swinging her hands around the room, almost knocking out Erin. 

“Would you be careful? Nearly sent Erin into a coma.” 

“Sorry, Erin.” 

The older woman waved her off.

“Y/n, I’ve known you since you were twelve. My duck and cover skills are at their peak.” 

Smiling, Y/n looked up at Erin with appreciation. 

“That reminds me, thank you for coming all this way.” 

Carefully dusting the eyeshadow, Erin pulled away and smiled. 

“I should thank you for flying me out and sending a limo… especially with that hot driver. You spoiled me.” 

Timothee watched as the two conversed. 

He couldn’t help but smile; Y/n had been in a bit of a rut for the past two months. She had expressed wanting to fly back home to Australia but with the finalising of Nosferatu, premiers and interviews. Time was not on her side, so having Erin here had brought the young girl a sense of home and familiarity that she had so desperately yearned for. 

“And there we have it. All done, my dear…wait let me fix this piece of hair…okay…yep now we’re done.”

He watched as her eyes danced along her features in the mirror, lips creeping up into that gorgeous smile. 

“Oh, Erin.” In a flash, the h/c wrapped her arms around the blonde, squeezing her tightly. 

“I’ve missed you so much…I swear you’re my fairy godmother…hands of gold.” 

Blushing, Erin ushered Y/n away. 

“Okay, enough of that; you'll make me cry. Now go put your dress on. You can't walk around in your undies.” 

Y/n tossed her robe over Timmy’s head and winked at Erin. 

“Wouldn’t you like that? Toodles.” She cackled and disappeared behind the curtain. 

“I know Lorenzo would.”

“SHUT UP TIMOTHEE!”

“It’s official: I hate heels. I don't care what anyone says. They’re painful…how the hell does Cecilia walk in these.” She complained. 

If someone were to have walked in, they would think she was dancing to the twist.  

Timothee rolled his eyes and brought the red clutch to her. With one final twist, she stood up straight. 

“You know, I wish I was at home watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer right now…at least then I do have to wear heels. I could be in the living room fighting, doing flying kicks and punches. You know, get my vampire slayer on.” She explained, shifting into a boxing stance. 

Timmy took hold of her hands and brought them down to her side. “If you decided to do that, you won’t see Lorenzo tonight.”

Way to use my kryptonite. She thought.

“Plus, you can do that once we come home. Get some pizza, popcorn and Moscato.” 

She eyed him carefully. “What’s the catch, big boy?”

She knew him too well. 

“Don’t Rocky Balboa anyone, and we can do it…Rocky Balboa, someone and I’ll force you to come with me to see Kylie on our next outing with Kendal.” Timmy watched as a mortified expression formed on her face.

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

Casting that Jack Nicholson smile, he chuckled. “Watch me, babe. Just watch me.” 

“Fucking asshole.” She mumbled as he opened the door. 

The crowd was wild. 

Flashing lights left, right, and centre.

Celebrities posing for the camera. 

The paparazzi called for pictures. 

Fans screamed at the top of their lungs. 

Interviewers were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 

Eyes danced across the chaotic scene before her as the flashing lights gave her a slight headache. She had been standing to the side, waiting for Timmy's return. Checking her watch every five seconds, she noticed that her patience was wearing thin, and the line for the red carpet was beginning to get overcrowded. And damn well knew that leaving this place early was not an option. 

“Boo.” A cold, wet hand grasped at her shoulders. Spooked, she spun around and threw a fist in the direction of the person as they ducked before she could knock them out. 

“Geez, Y/n. Your flight or fight senses kick in like a bitch.” 

“You should know better than to come up behind me, you jackass.” She hissed and shoved the man. 

“Where’s lil ol Tim Tim?”

“He said the toilet, but God knows.”

His brown eyes caught the young French actor being interviewed by Entertainment Tonight. 

“Looks like Frenchie is being interviewed.” 

Y/n followed his stare in Timothee's direction and shook her head. “Typical…”

Hearing the annoyance in her voice, he linked his arm with hers and smiled.  

“Come on, princess. Gotta turn that frown upside for Mr Lorenzo Zurzolo.” 

“You better watch that tongue of yours.” 

The two stepped away from the flashing cameras and to the interview station. 

Y/n felt a gentle pressure on the small of her back. Looking back, she noticed his tanned hand resting there as he led her towards an unoccupied table. 

“They should provide sunglasses. Those flashing lights are going to make me blind, I swear.” 

“Well, I’ll make sure to pass the message on.” 

She shot him a look, brow slightly raised, and smirked. “Sure baby, whatever-” A tap on her shoulder stopped her from finishing that sentence. 

“Excuse me.” 

The two turned around. A young woman in a gorgeous ivory satin dress nervously smiled with a cameraman behind her. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Y/n smiled at the two.

“Would it be okay if I interviewed you both?”

“Of course.” Y/n beamed, taking hold of the young woman’s hand. “You don’t mind if I ask you for your name, hon?” 

The young woman’s head perked at Y/n’s comment. 

“Emilia.” 

“A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Got me jealous over here.” She winked as Emilia blushed.

“You’re such a flirt, Y/n…shall we?”

She handed the microphones to the two actors, who began to play lightsabers with them. 

“Good evening, and welcome to the Academy Museum Gala 2024. I’m Emilia Rivers, and tonight I am here with.”

“Kelso.” He winked into the camera.

“and Jackie from that 70s show.” Y/n smiled cheekily. 

“Sorry, sorry. Y/n L/n.” 

“And Joe Keery.” 

During their interview, Timothee interrupted Joe by giving him a peck on the cheek. 

Emilia contained a giggle as Christian panned the camera to Y/n, who held her mic firmly and fluttered her eyelashes. 

“And there, folks, is a new and beautiful romance between two star-crossed lovers.” 

“I apologise on behalf of him. Please continue, Emilia.” Joe’s statement cleared the air.

“Thank you, Joe. Now I have one more question for you both.”

“Shoot away, hon.”

“As you know, we have two brand new faces here tonight. Have you come across the Netflix TV series Monsters?”

Joe beamed at the question, whereas Y/n blankly stared at Emilia. 

“Yes, of course, I’ve watched it. I found it quite interesting. The art between separation of reality and fiction.” Joe’s words began as Y/n zoned out. She had no interest in watching a TV show about murders or a documentary. At least in the documentary, it's fact rather than an overly sexualised fantasy. Too in her thoughts, she missed Emilia's call out to her. 

“Hmm?”

“Emilia here asked about-” Joe started.

“Oh yes! I remember, haha, sorry. No, I haven’t, sadly. Though I do recall my grandmother,  according to my sister, did but only made it through a few episodes. Too modern for her taste, haha.” She finished tucking a strand of hair.

Emilia smiled at Y/n’s actions. 

“That’s so adorable. Well, thank you so much for the interview tonight. I hope you both have a wonderful rest of the night.”

The two actors smiled kindly, thanking Emilia and Christian, as Y/n blew kisses.

“God bless you both.” 

Joe excitedly rubbed his palms together as the two walked away. 

“She was very nice.”

“Yeah, she was the nicest and most beautiful presenter I've spoken to all year round…she and Christian look cute together. Did you see how they shot each other those cute little looks? Ahhh, young love, how beautiful.” Y/n sang with a skip. 

“You know, for someone who loves her paranormal, blood, gore and murder. It freaks me out how you still have a soft spot for romance.” Joe laughed and died a little when he noticed Y/n went quiet. 

“Out of all the interviews I've had this year. Emilia is the first person not to ask about Bill.” She sighed.

“That bad, huh?”

She paused and rested a hand on her temple. 

“I…uh…I just… it’s hard, you know. I’ve known him since I was sixteen years old… honestly, I didn’t think he would take a liking to me…someone ten years his junior, ya know.”

Joe nodded along to her words. “Yeah, I understand… but hey, I’m also ten years your senior.” 

She smiled, shaking her head before she met his eye. 

“I know, but with you… it feels perfect… I feel somewhat safe in the presence of you and Timmy. Hell, even the little encounters I’ve had with Lorenzo…I know, I know, it's weird that I say that. But you, Timmy and Lorenzo, don't cast a big shadow over me. You three don't make me feel like I’m being swallowed whole… but for my father, Bill is perfect.” Joe knew where Y/n was coming from and how she felt. He saw it for himself when Bill would show up on the set of Stranger Things to see her. 

He thought the two looked cute together despite their height and age difference. But secretly,, he was hoping Lorenzo and Y/n would finally date. 

Joe and even Timmy could see it in her eyes; they didn’t sparkle for Bill. But only for him, Lorenzo Zurzolo. 

Joe turned to Y/n and grasped her hand. “Come on, let’s go find Hailee and Ella.”

...................................................LOADING..................................................

On the other side of the gala, two men stood beside each other, posing for the cameras. 

Flash!

Snap!

Flash!

Snap! 

His eyes squinted, and lights blinded him, but he still held his stance firm, death glare along his handsome features. 

“Alright, that’s a wrap. Thank you, Nicholas and Cooper.” 

They sighed and moved to the side after being there for hours. The relentless photos, interviews, and check-ins with event staff and other celebrities were starting to annoy him.

“Hey, check that cutie out. She seems like your type, Nick. Small, bright eyes.” Cooper pointed out. 

Following his friend's gaze, he noticed a young girl interviewing Selena Gomez. While she was attractive, her beauty didn’t intrigue him. He craved being star-struck and amazed by a woman’s presence. 

“Hey.” 

To their surprise, the two Monsters actors were face to face with none other than Joe Keery. 

“I’m Joe Keery, nice to meet you.” Joe greeted, holding out his hand. 

Nicholas smiled and took hold of Joe’s hand, giving it a firm shake. 

“Hey, Nicholas Chavez.” 

Joe Keery, the late 2010s heartthrob who captured his ex-girlfriend's heart.

Nicholas’ smile deflated at the thought of his ex. His gaze became harsh as he took in Joe's features. Luscious brown hair, warm brown eyes. 5’11 and built like an athlete. 

The young actor understood the fascination. 

The two men shared similar features, such as brown eyes, hair and tan skin. But compared to him, Joe was small. He did not compare to Nicholas’ thick, solid muscles and his overpowering 6’2 hulking figure. 

Nicholas's intimidating gaze was humbled. There, she stood a few meters away from Joe. 

Her flowing red dress danced with her laughter while her hand rested softly on Timothee Chalamet’s bicep. With a smile, her eyelashes fluttered as she gazed up at the blue-eyed man. 

He couldn’t keep his eyes off her as he took in her features. H/c hair was neatly styled in a Dutch braid. A few wisps of hair fell in front of her eyes. The colour of e/c eyes with a hint of red when in the light were complimented by long black eyelashes that brushed so gently against her fair cheeks. He wished she was looking at him with the glint in her eye instead of Timothee. 

Feeling eyes burning on their back, both Y/n and Timothee turned to find a strange young man amongst a group of Joe’s, staring them down. Moving in closely, Y/n pulled Timothee closer to her as her gaze hardened; two can play at this game fuckface. She thought.

“The hell is he looking at?”

“Y/n, you can’t say that.” 

The young woman turned her attention to her best friend and smirked. “I can do and say as I please, Timmy.” 

“Nick, you okay, man?” Cooper called. Turning his gaze toward the group, he smiled. 

“Yeah…just who’s she.” The two men followed his stare to Y/n, who was getting ready to give Nicholas the finger. 

“Y/n! Put your finger down right now.” Timothee's voice called from across the room. 

"Spoil my fun, why don't ya?" 

Joe and Cooper share a look, stunned by the young woman’s menacing behaviour. She sure is one of a kind. Not afraid to be who she was. 

“Who? Oh, her, she’s Y/n L/n. She’s an interesting one at first. She’s not easily swooned by men and not easily open to women. Hence her almost giving you the finger.” The statement made Nicholas chuckle. This girl seemed feisty, a challenge he could work with.

“I’ll break her walls down… Watch me… by the end of this year, she’ll be my girl.”

“Ha, good luck with that, Romeo. She’s head over heels for Lorenzo Zurzolo, according to sources.” Cooper purred.

Tags: @comfortzonequeen

A/N: let me know if there are any ideas you would like to see or even if you want me to do one shots on Nicholas Chavez characters. feel free to dm or something. Idk, but chapter 1 in is the works. Until next time.