#they really do not have to date each other- nobody is making them do that
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Random Spencer Reid Thought #1
Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: swearing, smut, fem!reader, bau!reader, new relationship, sex at work, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, fingering, no use of Y/N, caught in the act (kinda, at the end), fluff
Some Tags: @hotwritergf @melodymunson @rafeyscurtainbangs @mediocredreams @loserboysandlithium
@bloodibambiidoll @littlexdeaths @sanctumdemunson @cairro-xx @veemoon (tbh I wasn't sure who all to tag, so I tagged some moots and people I know usually read my stuff. Feel free to ignore if it's not your thing tho lol)
"I swear to god, you're gonna get us caught one of these days, Reid." You say breathlessly, tugging on Spencer's tie to keep his lips close to yours. You'd dragged him into a nearby supply closet after the rest of the team had dispersed for lunch, most of them heading to a new BBQ place nearby. They'd asked you and Spencer to come along, but you've both had much more pressing things on your mind.
From the second you came in this morning (separately, of course, even though he'd stayed the night at your place), your eyes have wandered from your work to each other's desks from across the cluster. It's been absolute torture, forced to sit so far apart, unable to touch each other or whisper all the dirty things you plan to do later. All you had to get yourself by was vivid thoughts of Spencer tossing his papers away, stalking over to you, and bending you over your desk to fuck you silly. You're sure he was picturing similar filthy things, given how often he cleared his throat and crossed or uncrossed his legs. Although, the ideas inside his head are usually more centered around getting down on his knees and burying his face between your thighs. It's a wonder that nobody seemed to notice your discomfort, really. The amount of stolen glances and fidgeting in your seats are certainly behaviors that should set off a profiler's internal alarms. But, thus far, you've managed to fly just below everyone's radar.
You've been seeing each other for a few months now, keeping it a secret from everybody else. It started off as a fluke date shortly after you joined the BAU team, and Spencer took a shine to your quick wit and bottomless well of intellect in no time at all. He'd asked you out for coffee (after a barrage of peer-pressuring encouragement from Morgan), wanting to show you around a bit as you were new to the area at the time. Spencer was a complete gentleman, opening the door for you, pulling out your chair, offering you his jacket when you got cold. Add on the way you talked one another's ears off about everything under the sun, moon and stars, and you were hooked on each other in an instant. Neither of you had met anyone who could keep up, or maintain your interest before. By the time he walked you home that night, you shared in the knowledge that this...spark you felt was something special.
Things progressed rather quickly from there. You've gone out together at least once a week, even sneaking out at night during cases to get some quality time in. A dinner here, a tipsy make-out in either of your hotel rooms there, as well as more educational outings to the planetarium, various lectures, and art exhibits when you're at home base. It didn't take long to heat things up, either. Spencer was less experienced than you, having only a couple casual hook-ups under his belt, which went as awkwardly as one would expect. But you were patient with him, showing him what you like and what you don't, helping him figure out the same for himself. It was a simultaneously experimental and exhilarating experience for you both when you finally had sex the first time.
And now, here you are, all wandering hands and moaning mouths in a closet full of office supplies. Spencer's got you sitting on a metal filing cabinet, legs spread in your pencil skirt as he stands between them. His large hands grip and squeeze your thighs, while he rolls his hips to press his erection against your clothed cunt. "Don't act as if the idea of getting found out doesn't turn you on." Spencer teases, smiling against your lips as you tug him forward into another kiss.
"Maybe a little." You admit, letting his tongue slip into your mouth. Your eyes drift closed, and you feel his hand slowly slip further down your leg and under your skirt. His lithe fingers pull your panties to the side, rubbing sensual circles around your clit. You moan down his throat, your own hands reaching blindly for his belt now. You don't have a lot of time, as much as you hate to rush this.
"We should tell them soon. It's only a matter of time before they catch on." Spencer suggests, slipping two fingers into your soaked pussy with ease. The sound he ends up swallowing from your lungs makes his dick twitch inside his pants. Never in his life did he think he'd be so lucky to find a woman like you, or a woman at all, for that matter. Spencer enjoys every moment spent with you like it's his last, and it's been nice existing in this safe romantic bubble. But sneaking around has its disadvantages, namely having to keep his hands to himself when you're around the team. Far be it from Reid to be unprofessional in any sense, but, fuck, it's so hard to behave when you're around.
"I know, Penelope's been dropping lots of extra hints lately." You say with a light laugh, your insides boiling as Spencer curls his digits inside of you. They're perfectly long and slender, reaching all the right places every time. He's made you come with them alone on many occasions.
"I noticed. She's not very subtle." Reid chuckles, his gaze drifting down as you manage to get his belt unfastened. You waste no time in undoing to button and zip, reaching inside his boxers to grab hold of his aching length. According to you, he's very well endowed. Even though he's aware the average size of male genitalia is 5.1 inches when erect, he's never gotten curious enough to measure himself. A brief visual guess probably puts him at around seven or eight, not that he's all that concerned about it. All he cares about it making you happy, and his mind is far too vast to be fixated on how long his cock is.
"I don't think she ever has been." You comment, eyes focused on Spencer's dick in your grasp. He's rock solid, his tip rosy pink and leaking pearlescent precum. The sight makes your pussy throb around Reid's fingers. If you had more time, you'd drop to your knees in an instant.
"And that's why we love her." Spencer adds, groaning as you stroke him nice and slow. The both of you keep this up for a moment, zeroing in on one another's most sensitive areas that you've craved all day. Soft sighs and moans leave your mouths, mingling with the wet schlick sounds of your foreplay. "But, enough about the team." He says softly, meeting your gaze. His free hand cups your cheek, drawing you in closer as you stare into his beautiful brown eyes. "This moment is just for us." He nearly whispers as he kisses you deeply, lovingly. Neither of you have dropped the 'L' word yet, though you both certainly feel it for one another. But the time to say it definitely isn't during a lunchtime quickie in a damn closet. The occasion will present itself, at a later date.
While Spencer has your attention captured in the kiss, he gently takes his cock from your grasp and into his own. He gasps against you, tangling his tongue with yours to make your knees weak, just like you taught him. He gives his dick a couple fervent strokes, taking his fingers out of your cunt so he can line himself up. You whine at the loss, though your stomach twists in anticipation of what will soon take their place. Using his pruned fingers to hold your panties to the side, the sticky tip of Spencer's cock nudges against your center. More moans brew within your throats, kept hidden inside to prevent you from being discovered.
Your arms wrap around his shoulders, hands tangling in his hair as you melt into him. His lips and tongue make you feel dizzy with lust, and his cockhead rutting against your folds is sending you into orbit. "Spence, please. I need you, baby." You plead between desperate kisses.
"I need you, too, you have no idea." Reid replies, pulling back just a moment so he can see what he's doing. He positions his dick at your entrance, and pushes inside at an agonizing pace. Low moans escape you both, you at the stretch, and him at the squeeze. "Fuck, you're so wet." Spencer says, trying to keep his cool.
"All for you, Spence." You say sweetly, locking your ankles behind his back, pulling him as close to you as possible with your legs. His hands return to your thighs, holding on tight as he begins to thrust.
Spencer starts off slow, watching as his cock pumps in and out of your pussy with no resistance. Your arousal makes him all shiny in the dim light, already forming a creamy ring around his base. "God, you're perfect." He exhales, unable to think of a single thing that looks as beautiful as this. The two of you, becoming one, your interlocking parts sculpted by nature to fit together flawlessly. Nothing within his expansive memory could possibly compare.
"So are you, baby. Can you go faster? We're running out of time." You beg pathetically, needing this release before you inevitably have to go back to work filling out papers and looking over crime scene photos.
"I hate how right you are about that." Spencer replies with a broken sigh, picking up speed with his thrusts. The infallibly accurate internal clock you share is ticking down, every push of his hips against yours marking each second that's taken from you. He plants his lips on yours again, focusing on giving you what those desperate noises you're making are telling him. You need him, all of him. Every last inch rutting into your sopping cunt until you see stars. And when it comes to you, Reid always aims to please.
"Fuck, Spence, just like that." You pant between fervent kisses, marveling at the way his cock pounds into your g-spot with flawless precision. The coil of arousal you've been building up since you sat down with your coffee this morning ripples and tangles with every thrust.
It becomes rather difficult for Spencer to keep kissing you when his pace picks up even more. His head falls forward, resting on your shoulder as he continues to wind you both up towards ecstasy. He turns his head slightly, hatching the naughty idea to speak lowly in your ear. "I can't wait until we get home later, and I can take my time with you." He says, trying so hard not to let the loud groans he wants to emit come through. They come out as hushed whimpers instead, which only turns you on more.
"Fuck." You let out a small noise of your own, muted as you bite down on your lower lip. But he hears it all the same, and keeps going.
"I'll spend all night touching you in all your favorite places, fuck you until the sun comes up, make you cry out for me as many times as you ask me to." His words are equally filthy and adoring, showing you just how much he wants to worship you and your body. Chills run up and down your spine as he speaks, his breath burning hot against your neck. It's nearly too much, and yet, you can't enough.
"God, Spence, please don't stop!" You moan, far too loudly.
"Now who's gonna get us caught?" Reid teases, even though the way you squealed nearly made him blow his load entirely.
"Sorry...sorry..." You pant the words out, for fear of being too loud again.
"It's okay, baby. I like knowing just how good I make you feel." He coos to you, almost sending you over the edge. Your walls squeeze around him tightly in warning. His breath catches at the sensation, right there with you in terms of how close you are to reaching climax. "God, that's it...you're so close, so am I. Gonna make you cum, gonna make you feel so good, I swear...so fucking good..." Spencer's mind sprints faster than his mouth can get the words out, barely audible as he buries himself further into your neck. He slams himself into you even harder, faster, chasing his release and dragging you alongside him.
"Spencer, oh my god." You gasp as he hits that perfect place inside you cunt even better than before, his hips pounding against yours hard enough to leave bruises. His hands dig into the flesh of your thighs, his mouth sucking and licking at your neck in a feverish need to make you lose control. It's definitely working, the waves of bliss beginning to roll over you in thick crashes. "Oh, god, make me cum, baby...don't stop, you feel so good..." You babble mindlessly as your insides flutter around Reid's dick, threatening to clamp down on him at any moment. "Fuck, oh, I'm gonna cum...oh, god- fuck...oh, spenceSpenceSPENCE!" You clap a hand over your mouth to conceal your scream as your orgasm takes hold. You tremble violently in Spencer's grip, your pussy strangling him with all its might. Stars blur your vision, pure pleasure coursing through your veins at lightning speed. You cling to him, nails clawing at his back, heels digging into his ass helplessly.
"Fuck-ing- god." Spencer stutters out as you squeeze him so tight, biting down hard into your neck to muffle the load groan rushing from his chest. He pierces you sloppily through his release, painting your eager walls with thick ropes of sticky white, hips stuttering and feral grunts leaving him with every stab of his spent cock. He gradually comes to a stop as your shared high subsides, pulling his softening length from you, watching as your mixed release flows from your now-sore cunt. He reaches into his pocket for a kerchief he keeps for such occasions, gazing adoringly into your lust-drunk eyes as he cleans you up. He would use his mouth, if there were time for such things.
You gasp as the soft fabric meets your puffy lips, never breaking Spencer's stare while he takes care of you. You've never felt more in love in your life than you do right now, with your legs still spread wide open, while this gorgeous, scrawny, genius wipes your combined spend away. Once you're all clean, he pulls your skirt back down over your legs, and puts his flaccid cock inside his pants, fastening the belt with casual ease. He helps you down from the cabinet, noting your wobbling legs as you stand in your sensible heels.
"All set?" He asks, earning a giggle from you as his hair has become more of a mess than usual.
"Almost." You say softly, smoothing down his unruly locks to look more presentable, and less like you two just went to town on each other over lunch. "Well, we'd better get back out there. The others should be arriving back now." You say, heading for the door first. You hate to leave at all, but the last thing you need is to get caught right now.
"I'll wait the three minutes, and meet you back in there." Three minutes, the amount of time you'd determined was appropriate enough to excuse you both coming back to the bullpen near the same time without raising suspicion. No one bats an eye at three minutes difference. It could be explained away as a coffee refill, a bathroom break, anything really. But returning at the same time? Or leaving this small room at the same time? Out of the question. You'd made the mistake of returning at the same time once, and you didn't hear the end of it from the team for a good three days, despite the assertion that you and Reid had been in separate places at the time.
"Okay. See you then." You nod, giving him a quick kiss. You open the door, checking to see if the coast is clear. Satisfied with your findings, you step out from the closet, closing the door behind you. You're about to turn and walk in the direction of the bullpen, when you end up smack dab in front of Penelope. You have no idea where she came from just now, or how long she's been hiding out. But the sly smirk on her face tells you she knows enough. "Hey, Garcia. How was your lunch?" You ask nervously, failing to play it cool.
"Oh, it was good. I brought some leftover eggplant parmesan from home." Penelope replies, nearly bursting with the knowledge that you and Reid have indeed been hooking up, as she rightly suspected. "How was yours?" She asks coyly, biting her lip as she expects you to spill all the gory details she couldn't hear through the door.
"It was...fine. I packed a lunch as well." You answer, clearing your throat.
"Oh, I'm sure you packed something. What did you have? Some sausage maybe? Or a footlong?" Penelope continues to tease, and at this point, you know the jig is up.
"Oh, alright! Yes, I did! You happy now?" You exclaim, rolling your eyes as your arms cross out of reflex.
"I knew it! I knew it!" Garcia chuckles, doing one of the dorkiest victory dances you've ever seen. The few passersby give her a sideways glance, but she doesn't pay them any mind.
"Okay, okay!" You put your hands on her shoulders to still her, meeting her eyes. "Look, can you just promise me you won't say anything? Spencer and I plan to tell everyone when the time is right, but we like keeping this thing to ourselves for now. Alright?" You implore with her to keep her mouth shut, for your sake, as your friend, and Spencer's.
"Yeah, I can do that." She nods in understanding, pulling you in for a hug. "I'm so happy for you guys!" She squeals, getting excited again.
"Thanks, Garcia. I appreciate that." You smile, returning her embrace.
"So do I." Spencer says from the other side of the door.
"You better treat her right, pretty boy! Or mama is gonna get you!" Penelope warns with all the love in the world.
"I fully intend to." Spencer replies, and you can practically see his lovesick expression from out here, and how his eyes must be looking straight at where he imagines you're standing, meaning every one of those four simple words.
#hippiegoth97#fanfiction#smut#spencer reid#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid smut#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds smut#spencer reid fanfiction#bau
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Used as Bait
Jason and Tim, who have been goofing off since getting out of the Batcave, finally arrived at the GCPD building thirty minutes after they were supposed to be there.Â
âGot anything for us, Gordon?â Jason asks.Â
Gordon looks up from his file, then looks back down.Â
âWhat is he doing?â Jason asks.Â
âIgnoring us for the mandatory five minutes because we wasted his time,â Tim answers. âHe put it in place when B got into the habit of making a meeting and then being late for it.âÂ
âAnd B hates having his time wasted.âÂ
âYup. And to be fair, weâre like thirty minutes late. Gordon does usually have some grace if weâre not too late.âÂ
Jason takes his helmet off and starts messing with his hair.Â
âIs something wrong?â Tim asks.Â
âNope,â Jason answers. âWeâre just gonna be seeing Maria before patrolâs over.âÂ
âYou have got to be kidding me.âÂ
âNo, of course not. Youâre the only one that will let me.âÂ
âYou have to do something for me.âÂ
âFine.âÂ
Gordon offers the file to Tim, so he takes it.Â
âMaria your girlfriend?â Gordon asks.Â
âNah, sheâs just a friend of mine. But she lives and works in a bad part of town, so I like to try to walk her home,â Jason answers. âShe can handle herself, but I literally take out bad guys at least twice a week.âÂ
âThat didnât work with Barbara,â Gordon says.Â
âYeah, your fiercely independent daughter didnât want your protection. Maria isnât a fan of me feeling obligated to walk her home, but she likes that I like to walk her home. We get to talk.âÂ
âHuh.âÂ
âWeâve got a possible meeting of gangs?â Tim asks.Â
âThatâs the thought. We have two officers over there you can meet,â Gordon says. âI want this dealt with tonight if you two can.âÂ
âWill do, boss. Iâve got something to do at midnight,â Jason replies, âand Redâs got a date with Spoiler.âÂ
âI already said that Iâm not dating Spoiler,â Tim says. âYouâre just telling people to get a rise out of me.âÂ
âMaybe. Weâll come back when weâve got something for you.âÂ
âJust call,â Gordon replies. âIâm gonna be in a meeting and then two briefings for the rest of the night. If you really need anything from me, just call.âÂ
âWe will,â Tim says, then the two of them head towards the location in the file.Â
They get to the location and thereâs an undercover cop car there, just like Gordon said there would be. Timâs phone rings, so he looks at it.Â
âI need to take this. Can you get the info from the officers?â Tim asks.Â
âYeah, of course,â Jason answers, âbut itâll cost you five dollars.âÂ
âShut up and go over there.âÂ
âWhatever.âÂ
Jason walks over and knocks on the window. He looks inside and nobodyâs in the car.Â
âWeird,â Jason mutters. âWhere did they go?âÂ
âRed Hood?âÂ
Jason turns and thereâs an officer standing with two cups of coffee.Â
âGordon sent me and Red Robin to help you guys with the incident,â Jason says. âWhereâs the other officer?âÂ
âHeâs not in there?âÂ
Jason shakes his head.Â
The officer quickly strides over and looks in the window. âOh shit, where could he have gone?âÂ
Jason shrugs, then turns in the direction to check on Tim. Timâs not standing where he was a minute ago. Jason goes to look around when he feels a needle in the back of his neck.Â
âNighty night.âÂ
Jason swings his elbow and manages to hit the guy in the face with it before he passes out.Â
Tim wakes up to complete blackness.Â
âYouâve failed me,â Batmanâs voice says.
âWhat?â Tim asks.Â
The scene around him turns from black to a full color image of the city in flames.Â
âWhat happened?â Tim asks.Â
âYou failed, and we all paid for it.âÂ
He sees his entire family, bleeding out while the villains are close by celebrating.Â
âNo, no,â Tim says, shaking his head. âThis canât be real. I⌠we hold each other up. I canât be the reason theyâre dead.âÂ
âThe most pressure on you to succeed,â Cass says.Â
âThe most pressure to get everything right,â Dick adds.Â
âItâs your fault we failed. Your plan went south and we paid the price for it,â Damian says.Â
Tim tries to calm himself down so he doesnât hyperventilate, but the scene changes to the manor and Tim sees Jason sitting on the couch, reading a book. His blood is still pumping from the stress and anxiety, but he feels a small amount of comfort in the sight of his brother. Tim runs over.Â
âJason!âÂ
Jason doesnât look up or acknowledge him.Â
âJason?âÂ
âI donât want to be around you,â Jason says.Â
âWhy?âÂ
âBecause who would want to? Youâre annoying, uninteresting, and unable to hold a conversation.â Tim opens his mouth to argue, but Jason continues. âThe only reason that Bruce took pity on you was because he was a basket case. If I hadnât died, you wouldnât be around. Not even Dick likes being around you, and he likes being around everyone.âÂ
Tim canât help the rage that floods him at that moment, especially hearing it from Jason. He was the only one around to help when everything was going up in flames, and any of them feel like they have the right to complain?Â
âYouâre utterly useless, Drake,â Damian says, appearing out of thin air before Tim can get any farther in his thought process.Â
The world goes back to black as Tim tries to figure out whatâs going on.Â
âTime for you to sleep now.âÂ
Tim recognizes the voice and he searches for Mad Hatter. He feels himself starting to lose consciousness, but starts thrashing around when he feels something with a similar feeling to a mask being pulled over his face. He passes out without succeeding in getting the mask off.Â
Jason wakes up to complete darkness. He hears a familiar laugh that sends a chill up his spine. Jason struggles against the restraints, starting to hyperventilate. Joker comes into view with a bloody crowbar.Â
âReady for round two, little bird?âÂ
Jason breaks the restraints and throws a punch at Joker. It goes right through him and he starts laughing again.Â
âBatmanâs favorite toy, how does it feel? You almost caused the downfall of Batman with your death. It must feel fantastic to know that you almost succeeded in your goal solely by getting your head bashed in and then inhaling a little smoke,â Joker says.Â
Jason throws another punch at him and it goes through him again. Jason gets his feet untied in enough time for the scene to disappear. Something knocks Jason off balance and he lands on his back. He blinks and when he opens his eyes, heâs lying down in a wooden box. Jason starts trying to bust the box but no matter how much force he uses, it doesnât break.Â
He can feel the oxygen getting thinner. Heâs panicking too much and while he knows it, he canât seem to get his breathing to slow down. He canât seem to stop panicking. No matter how hard he tries, heâs stuck in this coffin of dread. He squeezes his eyes closed.Â
âDad!â he cries out, hoping that Bruce is right outside to save him.Â
âNo father to save you. There never was,â Jokerâs voice says. âYou really think that Batsy ever loved a little screw-up like you? No, he only pretended to. His savior complex made him take pity on you.âÂ
Jason shakes his head, refusing to believe it again.Â
âMy dad loves me!âÂ
Joker laughs, taunting and mocking Jason.Â
âTime for you to sleep now.âÂ
Jason doesnât recognize the voice and he searches for the person attached to it. He passes out as it feels something go over his face, like a mask.Â
Dickâs watching TV, waiting for Damian to call him to discuss the details of Damian spending the weekend with him. Currently heâs watching a rerun of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but heâs only half-watching it. The screen goes black, drawing Dickâs full attention back to it. The screen glitches, then shows a close-up of Scarecrowâs face. Dick sits up. The camera backs away from Scarecrowâs face enough that you can see more of him.Â
âHello, Gotham,â Scarecrow says. âThis isnât for many of you, so feel free to ignore. Batman, on the other hand, we have your little birds.âÂ
The camera moves to show Jason and Tim in full uniform, clearly in distress. Theyâre fighting hard against the restraints, but in a wild and restless way that Tim would never normally attempt to get out in. Dick gets and starts searching his coffee table for his phone. Right on cue, it rings.Â
He answers. âHey, Dami. Are you watching right now?âÂ
âIâm watching,â Damian answers. âBarbaraâs trying to figure out where the signalâs coming from and Fatherâs getting suited up. Iâm already suited up before you ask.âÂ
âIâll be there as fast as I can.âÂ
âThank you. Fatherâs panicking.âÂ
âYeah, I figured.âÂ
Dick grabs his keys and rushes out of his apartment. He heads to his safehouse to change into costume then gets on his bike and makes a beeline for Wayne Manor. Once he hits city limits, his comm crackles.Â
âGrayson will be here when he gets here,â Damian says. âNothing weâre going to say is gonna make him get here faster.âÂ
âHey, Iâm at city limits,â Dick says.Â
âHey, Nightwing,â Barbara replies. âIâm sending the location to your bike now.âÂ
âThanks, Oracle. Howâs Batman?âÂ
âIâm fine,â Bruce says gruffly. âIâm heading to the warehouse now. How long will it take for you to get there?âÂ
Dick checks the location. âFive minutes. Itâs closer to the city limit than I thought it would be.âÂ
âWeâll meet you there. Iâm here with Orphan and Robin. Spoilerâs out of town.âÂ
âAlright.âÂ
He gets there at the same time they do and runs over.Â
âHey, what did the scan of the building indicate?â Dick asks.Â
âFour heat signatures and their trackers are still transmitting from inside,â Bruce answers. âAlright, remember that our top priority is getting them out. If one of them gets away, we can deal with it at a later point.âÂ
Cass and Damian both nod. Dick notices Mad Hatter and Scarecrow leaving the building. Cass notices them too and looks towards Bruce for instructions. Tim and Jason jump down onto the roof and ready their weapons. Bruce nods at Cass, and she goes after Scarecrow and Mad Hatter while Jason and Tim attack the rest of the Bats. Tim viciously attacks Damian with his bo staff and Damian barely dodges.Â
âWhat the hell?â Damian asks.Â
âThe masks belong to Mad Hatter,â Dick says, trying to grab Tim so he can get the mask off. âHeâs probably controlling both Hood and Red.âÂ
Tim grabs Dickâs wrist and flips him onto his back. Tim jams a batarang into Dickâs arm, pinning him to the roof in the process. Dick hisses and tries to figure out how to take it out without hurting himself worse. After watching Jason beating Bruce and Tim beating Damian for several minutes while trying to think, he finally just pulls it out as fast as he can and runs at Tim. Bruce can hold his own a little longer. Tim drives a hard kick to Dickâs shoulder, which was slightly injured in a battle earlier that week.Â
âShit,â Dick mutters, grabbing his shoulder. âThat hurt, bud.âÂ
Tim swings his staff at him again and Dick grabs the other end. He uses the momentum to throw Tim on his back. Damian grabs the mask and rips it off.Â
Damian checks his pulse. âHeâs alive. You should probably go help Father with Hood before he makes him cry.âÂ
Dick looks up and the two are sparring.Â
âI knew that Hood could reasonably fight Batman but seeing it is something else,â Dick mutters, âbut Iâm gonna go help Batman.âÂ
Damian nods and starts checking for injuries on Tim. Dick flips over to Jason and kicks him hard in the side of the head. Bruce rips the mask off and stomps on it repeatedly. Dick checks Jasonâs pulse while Bruce finishes destroying the mask.Â
âHis pulse is there. Little weak, but steady.âÂ
âGood,â Bruce says. âLetâs get them home.âÂ
Bruce watches his kids as they rest and recuperate. Cass is patching up Damianâs injuries while Dick is patching himself up. Bruce notices that Tim starts shaking. Before he has a chance to get up and get him another blanket, Tim wakes up and sits up, looking concerned.Â
âHey, itâs okay. Youâre home,â Bruce says.Â
Timâs facial expression is flat and hard to read. Bruce notices that he seems concerned, but canât tell about what exactly. He sees everybody and seems to ease a little, but still gets up.Â
âYou should be resting,â Cass says.Â
âIâm gonna go rest in my room. I donât⌠I donât want to be here right now.âÂ
âHey, Tim,â Bruce says.Â
âIâll talk to you tomorrow, Dad,â Tim says, rushing through the words, then hurriedly heads up back to the manor.Â
Jason wakes up not long after. He looks around but his fear and anger are completely visible to Bruce. He gets up to walk over and Jason seems to calm down a little, the anger seeming to disappear.Â
âAre you alright?â Bruce asks.Â
Jason opens his mouth, then closes it again. He thinks for a moment, then shrugs.Â
âI donât want to talk about it⌠right now. Iâll talk to you when I feel up to it,â Jason says. âDoes that work, Dad?âÂ
Bruce puts a hand on Jasonâs shoulder and nods. âOf course it does.âÂ
Jason nods. âIâm gonna head upstairs and try to sleep off this migraine thatâs hitting me.âÂ
âMake sure to take something.âÂ
âI will.âÂ
Jason heads upstairs as Damian walks over to Bruce.Â
âHow are you feeling, Damian?â Bruce asks.Â
âIâm fine,â Damian answers. âCassandra stitched up my injury. Iâm going to speak to Timothy if you donât need anything else.âÂ
âGo ahead.â Damian heads upstairs.Â
At least someone can get Tim to talk. If Damian canât, I think Iâll talk Dick into trying. Â
Dick walks up. âHey, you alright?âÂ
âIâm fine,â Bruce says. âYou?âÂ
Dick sighs. âI donât know. I donât like fighting my siblings in such a setting. It hits the edge of that line I swore Iâd never cross again. Iâm physically fine, but they could have not been. Mad Hatter had them pushing us full strength. The strain that would have put on their brainsâŚâÂ
âI know. Donât worry about that right now. Full brain scans show no signs of damage and weâre gonna keep up with scans until weâre completely in the clear. I wonât let anything happen to them without doing everything that I can to stop it,â Bruce promises.Â
Dick nods, then hugs Bruce. Bruce hugs him back and they stay like that until Dickâs phone starts ringing. Dick looks at it, then smiles.Â
âHey, babe. What can I do for ya?â A pause. âIâm gonna take this outside, then probably head home.âÂ
âGoodnight, Dick,â Bruce says.Â
â âNight, Dad,â Dick replies, waving as he walks upstairs with his jacket.Â
Bruce heads upstairs after a little while and goes to his room. He leaves his door open a crack, a sign that the kids can come in if they need something, then gets in bed to get some much needed sleep.
#whumptober2024#whumptober#alt prompt#no.13#used as bait#batman#batfamily#batfam#jason todd#tim drake#jim gordon#dick grayson#damian wayne#bruce wayne#barbara gordon#cassandra cain#scarecrow dc#dc mad hatter#angst#feels#emotional angst#emotional hurt/comfort#whump#blood and injury#fear toxin#mind control#tw torture#whump writing#writing challenge
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on the subject of vampire polyamory specifically in relation to Lestat, Armand, and Louis, I think people are forgetting that there's a difference between an open relationship and a throuple. All 3 of those vampires are pretty poorly equipped to handle an open relationship with Lestat "I don't like sharing" de Lioncourt probably being the worst equipped, however I do think that the three of them could probably manage with a poly relationship where all members of the relationship are dating all other members of the relationship and the relationship is closed.
Thank you! Speaking of relationship configurations as a whole, this is so true. Polyamorous and open relationships are not necessarily the same and people tend to generalize them so much. It's the same with pan and bisexual people, it's not because you're into every gender that you're into every single person. I'm personally all for freer relationships (polyamorous, open, non-exclusive, any and all of them), I keep the door open and yet never used it because there was never a need for it, but it's still open if that changes one day. It's just about not being controlling for me. I feel really weird about trying to police each other's actions, bodies and feelings. So, I'm like, as long as there is love and respect, we're free to follow our heart wherever it takes us. I don't see having more than one parent, kid or friend as a problem, so I don't know why romantic love would be any different. For me, the problem is that it is hard to fall in love, be lucky enough to be reciprocated and accommodate a romance with all the other aspects of your life in the little time humans have with one person, let alone two or more individuals. Also, the risk of pregnancy, diseases etc. Now, vampires that live forever, can't get sick or pregnant? It makes perfect sense.
About Loumandstat, I can definitely see what you're saying. Specially for what I've read on the books so far. I don't know in depth how the chronicles will end, what Rolin will choose to do and if that's logistically possible on a show with only 7-8 episodes per season (I do believe they work miracles with the little time they have, but it's still not the same as having 13 books), but I think there's enough argument to support giving it a try or at least leaving it open to interpretation if they want, even if they don't do it with the main three (or four) characters.
Not to mention they're vampires and I find the idea of living forever with only person and love narrow-minded, limiting and unrealistic (same goes to gender, sexuality and norms in general). It's way more convincing to me that feelings would evolve and relationships would expand over time. I also believe many of their problems come from having just one person to be the lover, friend, therapist, parent and mentor all at the same time.
Ans you can't have one individual playing all the roles in your life... This usually makes things implode and they end up going from one person to nobody and complete loneliness. It just never work, no matter how compatible they are. You need multiple people to spend eternity with and all the love you can find: platonic, familial and, yes, maybe even romantic.
#interview with the vampire#IWTV#the vampire chronicles#tvc#vampire chronicles#vc#anne rice#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#armand#ldpdl#loumandstat#vampire polycule
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Calling this one the Princess Polycule: they can't date her so have decided that the only alternative is to date each other
#fridge draws#slay the princess#stp#stp posting#stp voices#slay the princess voices#voice of the stubborn#voice of the broken#voice of the smitten#they really do not have to date each other- nobody is making them do that#theyre just stupid (affectionate)
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a sumi haircut variation ive been testing out. i wanna say its a bit post-canon, not too far off, maybe a year or so. hasnt quite figured out what to do with herself yet, but shes getting there. only a little ways away from graduation.
#the clock chimes at midnight#selk.art#okay because im going stir crazy in my beautiful mind here. i forgot where everyone in the royal ending went so ive just kinda been doing a#post canon au based entirely arnd sumire and the only person whos really gone is ren. the others are in school and stuff still lol#ANYWAYS she and ren start dating a few weeks before 2/3 and after they restore the world its a very tumultuous start considering ren#immediately gets sent to jail. even after he gets out theyre both grieving akechi + it feels like theyre just going through the motions.#everyones like omg we could tell this was gonna happen! and it makes them uncomfortable for reasons they cant articulate#ren is using sumire to get over akechi + sumire is modeling rens identity + both see akechi in the other and are sad abt it#on top of all that they get into a huge fight when sumire learns rens leaving in like. a month. and she didnt know.#(he genuinely didnt realize she didnt know but gets bitchy in return)#they try to make it work long distance for a month/two but eventually mutually breakup (both a little bitter but agree to remain friends)#overall its a cute relationship with um . very odd undertones.#anyways she still wears her hair straight up or straight down during all that point. HAHAHA remember this is abt hair!#after ren leaves she latches onto ann + ryuji who are still going to school w her. and after the breakup simply bc#ryuji is a Boy and sumire is a Girl and They Enjoy Being Around Each Other they both reflexively think abt getting together#sumire starts to imitate him (bc for some weird reason she keeps wanting to be like boys!) and ryuji is like am i breaking bro code rn..#nothing ever happens bc neither actually wants to date the other and ann is always hanging around but its an odd time for everyone#she bleaches the tips of her hair for a little bit but its so small when she gets it chopped off its like nothing happened lol#this is probably around third year when ann/ryuji have graduated and the only thief around is futaba.#and. please nobody kill me for this. i think the two have interesting thematic similarities but the ship between them has always felt like#pairing the same-age spares to me. and i havent read anything thats convinced me of its full potential yet.#that to say i think theyre friendly but not super close. so sumire has to learn to just. exist by herself for the first time in years.#like i said this is probably when this actual haircut starts getting used. shes figuring it out!#after she graduates shes the first one to find akechi again and theyre both doing a lot better and become very close.#they move in together! platonically! unless...? but thats not the point! akechi helps her realize shes transmasc at which point she gets a#real short haircut. i cant decide. theres one thats like a curly haired bob almost and one thats shorter + looks kinda windswept#and thats all the haircut hcs i have for her postcanon timeline! spreads hands jazz hands. not all the timeline hcs but my thumbs r tired.
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And now, a brief look at the human fucker community on a monster version of tumblr
đ WetterThanYou Follow
It's so sad that humans can't breathe underwater, makes bringing them to my lair so much harder
đşAscetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
Was anyone going to tell me humans can't breathe underwater or was I supposed to just learn that from a text post?
đWetterThanYou Follow
Please tell me you didn't seriously look at humans and go 'they look like they can breathe underwater'
đşAscetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
I thought they were like lions and how some live in the sea :(
đŚBEaST-MAN Follow
DID YOU THINK SEA LIONS WERE LITERAL LIONS?!
đşAscetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
They're not? đđđ
(10,053 Notes)
đşHereWolf Follow
Vampires will be like 'I love humans' and then transform every human they know into another vampire. Weak. You are like someone who only watches Marvel movies and calls themselves a filmbuff.
đBatass Follow
Hey OP this is an important part of many vampire cultures so you should tone it down because this is really offensive.
đşHereWolf Follow
You should get a culture that isn't fucking lame.
đŚBEaST-MAN Follow
OP you are literally a werewolf. And into throwing stones in glass houses I guess.
đşHereWolf Follow
Gurl you don't know the amount of effort I put into keeping my human girlfriend a human girlfriend because I love her for being a human.
(8,000 Notes)
đCraftedLove Follow
In the club on a date with a human straight up breaking it. And by 'it,' haha, well. Let's just say. His sanity.
(42,069 Notes)
đ§ââď¸ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow
Sick of getting added to group chats like 'plots to overthrow our lieges.' Yes, I am both an evil wizard and an evil vizier. But I'm not plotting any treachery because my king is also evil, and so is my queen. We are in an evil polycule and give each other evil night kisses.
đ§ââď¸ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow
Also stop telling me about the evil queen's OnlyFans like the king and I aren't helping her run it. Who do you think is taking the pictures? You have no idea how many evil yet deeply impractical schemes it's given us the economic cushion to do.
(48,835 Notes)
đ¤źââď¸Bitch-of-Heracles Follow
Need me a human who will hold me like this and just destroy me đ
âŁď¸HeraclesOfficialâ
Follow
Hey.
đ¤źââď¸Bitch-of-Heracles Follow
WHY DID NOBODY THINK TO WARN ME HERACLES WAS ON THIS WEBSITE?!
(33,333 Notes)
This now has a sequel, and a third act
#shhh evil wizards can be monsters if they want to#oc#yes this is the same loose world as the demon king posting in fact the evil wizard is the one mentioned as being his friend#stole this format from a fire emblem post because it was a great post#monster fucker#but inverted#Heracles jumpscare#dashboard simulator
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mini vent so I can sleep
#idk why i deleted my vent blog i need to make a new one#vent kinda thing#peppa talks#my mum's side of the family were all really close and i pretty much grew up with my cousins and we'd see each other all the time#big events like Christmas we'd all be together#but then also random things through the year like meals and parties and holidays we'd do together#but now that we're all grown up they don't really come to any family events anymore#they've all got partners and some are getting married and having kids and even the ones my age are in committed relationships#where they'll go to their partner's family events#and just feeling the family grow apart when i know I'll never have that?#I don't want a partner and I'm happy with that fact. but seeing everyone else drift away just hurts sometimes#like. what happens to me when they're all gone? it already happened last year when they all went to new years with their partners#and i was left alone with my parents aunts and uncles all telling me i should be off having fun like the others are doing#but I miss how it used to be and the fun i used to have with the family. and i just don't know what's going to happen when i never date#and I'm too cautious to ever insert myself into my friends' lives. especially when they have a partner#because i always put myself as their last priority and nobody has ever contested my placement#i know it's my fault and I'm self sabotaging but i give my all to all my friends and even when I'm putting all the work into the friendship#they'll still let me drift away and stay as the lowest priority#so when I'm older who am i going to have? I've never been close enough to my friends for them to take me in#my family will have their own families#and I'll just be. there#I'll always continue to believe in people and hope they think to take me on. or even that my family gets closer again one day.#but so far the hope has gone unproven#this got into a much longer vent than i thought#i know it's just 1am thoughts and I'll be better in the morning but it's been lingering with me for a few days now so i needed to get it out
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the "it" couple
masterlist
requests are open
summary: you and Rafe being the hottest couple on the island
word count: 1.3k.
warnings: established relationship, mentions of sex, mentions of nude pictures, Rafe is reader's first everything, you're both lovesick
a/n: my obsession with soft and painfully in love Rafe is not curable at this point. but like could you imagine having him all to yourself?? ughhh the things i'd let him do to međŠ
Everyone knew that there are couples that, at first glance, give you the impression that they just have really good sex. Like they are so hot and perfectly compliment each other, with a certain vibe oozing out of them, especially when they are together.Â
You and Rafe were that couple.Â
Before you started dating, no one ever considered that two polar opposites like you might even coexist. You were a kook, but still completely different from Rafe and his little gang. You were pretty, but more on the quiet side, never showing off or bothering anybody.
Rafe, on the other hand, was mean and sarcastic to everyone and everything. It was a good thing that you put him in his place the first time he talked to you, making it clear that you are not having his shit. And also making Rafe instantly interested and following you like a puppy.
You were annoyingly teasing and flirting with each other, and everyone tried not to get involved in whatever was going on. It was your first experience with a guy, because before that, nobody was really making their shots, or, at least, you never paid enough attention to notice it, choosing to focus on yourself. But with Rafe, it felt fun and so damn easy.Â
Your first kiss set everything in its place because you finally gave in to your hidden emotions. It made sense why you were always arguing and pestering each otherâyou simply craved attention from one another and it was the easiest way to get it.Â
Surprisingly, Rafeâs rough edges softened, especially around you, and he was so affectionate and craved you around him 24/7. Though, knowing that youâve never been in relationships before, he never pushed you to do anything, just following your pace.Â
But after your first time happened in the third month of dating, after the ice melted and your insecurities fully disappeared, Rafe almost got another version of his girlfriend.Â
If he thought that you couldnât be better, then he was wrong.Â
He never understood his friends who said that they had to almost beg their girlfriends to have sex, mostly because Rafe had never been in actual relationships before. But it made even less sense for him because you, seemingly, had the same energy and high sex drive as him.Â
The first few times may have been slightly awkward with you still learning and trying to understand your own body, but once you got confident, you became unstoppable.Â
Whether it was early morning, the middle of the day, or way past your bedtime, you were ready to have sex right away, straddling Rafe's legs or luring him into a kiss while your hands slipped under his pants. Â
It was crazy how much you both wanted each other. It was a perfect fucking match to have someone with exactly the same needs. You probably have been bent over every single flat surface in the house and not a single room was safe from the two of you. He wanted you all to himself and he could go hours just worshiping your body and fucking you into bliss.Â
You were almost glued together, never coming to an event alone. Rafe was so obsessed with the way you looked, with your smell, and with the feeling of your skin on his, so he always had to touch you one way or another. His friends teased him that he was absolutely pussy whipped for you and he had never denied it. They also started calling you Mrs. Cameron because you acted like a married couple and neither of you were against that nickname.
To say more, the idea of that made Rafe so feral for you, so he didnât let you get out of bed the following day. Not that you complained, though.
Rafe loved sneaking out with you. Whenever you two had to visit a gala with your families, he always snatched you from the main room to drag you to the bathroom or another hidden place to have a quickie or to burry his head under your dress because you were too hot to resist. Yeah, maybe other people noticed it, giving you their usual politely awkward smiles, but neither of you care.Â
On his birthday, you gave him the best fucking gift, which was a stack of your naked polaroid pictures. You were really nervous to do that, thinking that Rafe might react differently, but he reminded you once again why he was your perfect match. After looking through the photos several times, he literally attacked you, throwing you back on the bed and giving you the best orgasms of your life.Â
Since that day, one of the less explicit pictures of your ass has been placed in his wallet.
You were officially the âitâ couple on the island, with everyone either admiring or being jealous of that spark, which never seemed to diminish. Everyone saw the way the Rafe Cameron gave you heart eyes, soft smiles and gentle kisses. The way he held you close to himself, protecting you, taking care of you, and treating you like a queen.
Some people told you that it was only the excitement of a new relationship, but after a few years of dating, with a promise ring on your finger, it was still there. You still craved each other's touch; you still craved being together whenever it was possible, always going on dates and trips, attending all of Kookâs events, but mostly spending lazy days in your shared house. Sex was even better than beforeâmore passionate, fun, hot and full of unconditional love.
Despite the gossip on the island, Rafe didn't get âboredâ of you. No, over time, he became addicted to you because you felt like home, and there was nothing better than being with you.Â
He didn't need any other women. And he still couldn't grasp the idea of cheating. If he had you, then why on earth would he do that? Every time he came home, the best person in the world and the best sex of his life were in that exact location, so he never complained about anything.
You were his afrodisiac and whether you were in full glam, in a bikini on the beach or in his old t-shirt with messy hair, he couldnât just keep his hands to himself and not kiss the air out of you.Â
He liked how you stayed at home, doing whatever you wanted and treating yourself while he worked. You always greeted him with homemade food, but more importantly, you acted as if you had not seen him in months.
You were waiting on the porch or finishing up in the kitchen, but when you saw him, you ran and jumped into his arms and pulled him into a kiss. It always melted Rafeâs worries and bad mood away, as his shoulders sagged in relief from being in your arms again.Â
You always ended up in your bedroom, with you on or under him, while your hands were tugging at each otherâs closes. Rafe knew that it would eventually end up with him finally putting a baby in youâsomething that more and more flooded his mindâbut for the foreseeable future, he first had to officially make you his Mrs. Cameron.
And the red box with the big ass diamond ring, which was currently sitting in the drawer, was just waiting for the perfect moment. Â
#rafe x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe outer banks#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe cameron x reader#rafe obx#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#obx rafe cameron#rafe cameron x female reader
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GO WITH IT
MARK LEE (ě´ëŻźí)
ABOUT đ ŕŁŞË âhave sex with me so I can finish writing thisâ inspired by this tweet or when mark offers to solve all your problems, it's much better to go with it
WARNING đ ŕŁŞË language, mark is a bit of a slut, 18+ spiderman kiss (youâll see lmao), allusions to fat cock mark⌠đľâđŤ, overstimulation, unprotected sex, markâs name repeated like 78 times (no seriously, itâs up there), reader bent like a pretzel, orgasm denial, this author loves a comma, a pinch of softdom!mark, silly ending
PAIRING đ ŕŁŞË bestfriend!mark x bestfriend!reader
WORD COUNT đ ŕŁŞË 6k
AUTHOR'S NOTE đ ŕŁŞË a little surprise drop for my favorite neo! i guess it's also a wee bit of a belated birthday gift to him :) i skimmed it for typos and stuff but i unfortunately did not edit it the way i should have, sorrryyyyy hope y'all enjoy! omg also reader's room is yu nabi's from the kdrama nevertheless hehehe
Nobody was busier than your best friend, Mark Lee. Between his job, his vibrant social life, and his weekly family dinners, you were lucky to be offered a slot in his schedule. It was always a yes to Mark Lee. Usually.
The last three times Mark had tried to make plans with you were all failed attempts, and the excuses varied each time. There was nothing shameful about the truth, but you just couldnât bring yourself to tell him that your friendship was being thrown to the backburner while you sloppily attempted to get your life together. He knew all about your small business, taking commissions for art prints and ceramics, but he had no idea how much time and effort went into each piece. Besides, knowing Mark he would offer to help, and that wasnât going to be of service to you in the slightest.Â
All you could do was rot in bed, hoping that something would spark your creative mind to no avail. Frustration was starting to take up every corner of your mindâ from the nonstop orders that you couldnât fulfill, to your supplier raising prices, to the fact that you hadnât had a good date in two years. You were wound too tight to function, and any minute now you were going to start pulling your hair out in chunks.
The sound of the pin-pad at your door let you know that Mark was about to come barreling through. There were so many times that youâd be in strict creation mode, headphones in at full blast while Mark banged at the door pleading for you to answer; when it started to feel like a normal part of your routine, he just requested the code to let himself in. âYo!â
Except, this time, none of that was necessary. Your headphones were stuffed in their case on the other side of the room, workstation completely untouched with your multiple projects stacked on top of each other. Despite the custom orders piling up over the last two weeks, you hadnât had the artistic strength to move forward with any of them. The only thing you could do to buy yourself a little time was to post a message asking for patience and understanding while you navigate some vague emotional hardship. Realistically, though, it would only buy you another week or so before people would start to get angry.Â
âHi.â Perched on a stool near the kitchen island, eyes locked on the cup of coffee you warmed up seventeen minutes ago, you were out of it.
Mark waved a few inches from your face, trying to get your full attention. âHello? Earth to ___, are you okay?â
You snapped out of it, looking over at your best friend to see that he was dressed for a night on the town. âSorry, got a lot on my mind right now.â
White, distressed tank top, loose plaid button-up undone, and his sexiest pair of black jeans. The way the meticulous curls fell around his face, looping around his forehead in a way that feigned boylike wonder. He looked oh so delicious, but you would never tell him thatâ his ego was big enough for the both of you. âAnything I could help with?â
A stifled chuckle barely reached his ears before you cleared your throat, turning toward him with renewed energy. âNo, not really.â
Mark put his phone and keys down on the counter, taking a quick intermission to wash his hands before walking back over to you. Heâd never been in your apartment in this way beforeâ an unannounced hangout where youâre clearly just a stop along the way, being so underdressed in his presence. Heâd seen you in a swimsuit before, but something about a big shirt and underwear felt far more intimate than the two strips of fabric. âThis is like the third time youâve curved me, if you hate me just say that.â
âOh, youâre so fucking dramatic. Iâm just busy.â You shoved at his shoulder, urging him to take a seat so you wouldnât feel so awkward with him standing over you. He refused cooly, taking a look around your apartment to make sure you hadnât been aimlessly rotting since the last time he stopped by.
âEven I'm not that busy. Whatâs going on?â
âIâve justâŚâ You sighed heavily, a breath you didnât even know you were holding in. Talking about everything wrong in your life felt far too heavy, too much to divulge to a friend seemingly just doing a wellness check. âI think Iâve bitten off more than I can chew, and Iâve got all these creative blocks that wonât go away and honestly I just need to be fucked like properly fucked to get my juices flowing again but all of the men worth giving it up to are in hiding.â
Mark stood there, mouth agape in disbelief. He did ask, after all. âWoah.â
âYeah.â It felt embarrassing to hear laid out like that, but there werenât too many secrets between you and Mark in the first place. Your sex lives werenât off limits for discussion, and the two of you had plenty of chats that were NSFW in nature. But blurting out how badly you needed to be railed? That was a new one.
The silence spoke for itself, apparently. You didnât want to chance a glance up at him, but you knew that youâd have to say something. Maybe something to cover your ass, let him know that youâre well aware how âTMIâ that was. Or evenâ
âIâll fuck you.â
You nearly choked on air,âWhat?!â Now you had no choice but to look at him, scanning the twinkle in his eyes in search of sincerity.
âIâm really good, too.â He took a step towards you, eyes never leaving yours as his hands found home in his shirt pockets. This was a side of Mark you rarely got to seeâ charming, smooth, confident. There were times, namely on nights out, where youâd get a taste of it, watching him chat it up in some dark corner with the prettiest girl youâd ever laid eyes on. But this, being on the receiving end? Watching his eyes drink you in like sweet tea on a balmy Southern summer afternoon? It was enough to make your heart skip several beats.Â
âMarkââ
The smile he cracks at you makes you embarrassed for even considering it. âIâm just messing with you, geez,â Heat takes over your face as you try to hide it from him, palms rubbing at your cheeks as your heartbeat tries to find its resting rate. âAlthough, given that reaction, maybe I shouldnât be.â
âShouldnât be what?â
âMessing with you. Joking, rather. I can definitely mess with you, if you want,â Running so hot and cold in such a short window of time has you shivering under his gaze, scared to make the wrong move and ruin what youâd beg him for. âHm? Is that what you want?â
The air is thick with anticipation, nothing but the consistent drip from a ceiling leak as the soundtrack to your staring contest with Mark. He was so close to you in all of his Friday night glory, cologne a cloud around you as the heat from his chest permeated your personal space. You were certain that just one taste, just one night in the throes of passion with a curly haired Mark Lee would solve all of your problems. If you closed your eyes, you could picture itâ sweaty bodies intertwined amidst the sweltering heat of your studio after dark, the fanning of his breath in your face as he rocks into you, his strong frame caging you into the bed so all you can focus on is Mark, Mark, Mark! His sighs and whines of pleasure flooding your senses so theyâre all you can pay attention to, just his voice and his unrelenting pace as heâ â___,â The sound of your name on his tongue snapped you out of your lustful haze. âOfferâs about to expire, baby.â
Mark slipped his jacket off without breaking away from you, dropping it carelessly on the floor while your attention wandered to his arms. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing, crossing his arms against his chest as he awaited your answer. âYouâre serious? This isnât some cruel prank where if I say yes, youâll tell me it was just a joke?â
âThatâs not my idea of a prank, princess, whereâs the fun in that?â Mark licked his lips, a faint smirk taking over. âLook, if youâre uncomfortable, we can pretend this never happened,â His fingers ghost along the side of your face, sweetly making their way to your lips. âBut if it were up to me? Iâd have you seven ways to Sunday all over this apartment.â
That was all you needed to lunge into a kiss with him, throwing him slightly off guard as you practically tossed yourself into his arms. But his lips were ready for you, steaming hot and sopping wetâ just the way you like it. The smush of your lips together so suddenly garnered the sweetest moan from him, just enough to tease you of whatâs to come. His arms wrapped around your torso like a claw machine, pulling you so flush against him as though he was afraid youâd slip through his fingers.Â
Your lips were still tingling as he pulled away to lap kisses against your neck, peppering anywhere his lips could reach. âM-Mark, hmngh.â
It was no secret that Mark had a bit of a reputation in the bedroom, but you never thought youâd witness it firsthand. His hands delved blindly to your legs, hoisting you around his waist so he could move you over to your bed. You almost had a mind to remind him of the three big steps up to your bedroom area, but he was far suaver than you gave him credit forâ this wasnât exactly his first rodeo.
He tossed you on the bed, the slight recoil exhilarating before he was all over you again. âIf a proper fuck is what you wantâŚâ His kisses had shifted to your chest, lips and tongue sucking in the essence of your skin like he couldnât bear not to. He was almost more excited than you were, his touch reaching anywhere and everywhere all at once, like he couldnât get enough of exploring everything you had to offer. It was all starting to feel real as Mark made a move to lift up your shirt and the implication of your best friend seeing you naked caught up with you.
âWait, wait. Weâre gonna see each other naked.â
Mark, with the fabric of your shirt caught in his teeth, stared at you blankly. âYeahâŚâÂ
âShouldnât that be weird?â
He rolled his eyes playfully, squeezing at your hip with the hand closest to it. âMaybe, but how do you suggest we fuck then? Through my jeans?â He pulled your body swiftly down the mattress so you could feel how hard he was through your panties.Â
âShut the fuck up, oh, my God.â
âI was trying to before you got all weird and jittery,â Mark made a move for your shirt again, and this time you didnât fight him on it. The balmy air hit your pert nipples the second they were exposed, and Mark couldnât stop the gruff noise that formed in his throat. âJust as pretty as I imagined.â You squirmed at the compliment, cheeks heating up at the sight of him drooling over you. âLike that? Hm? Are you my pretty girl?âÂ
His lips wrapped around the peak of your breast, tongue swirling to the same pattern his thumb and forefinger followed on your other nipple. âYes!â It was embarrassing, how fast you succumbed to his commands. He struck with confidence, maneuvering his way around your body like heâd done it before. âIâm your pretty girl.â
âSo sexy saying that for me, baby,â Your legs part instinctually to make more room for him, and Mark took that as his sign to shift gears. âYou know⌠sometimes, every now and then, Iâd think about you. If I needed a little extra push towards ecstasy, youâd pop in my head. Think about the way youâd look if I got my hands on you. How youâd feel, how youâd taste,â His fingers prodded at the growing wet patch on your underwear. âGonna let me see?â
Your back arched off the mattress, hands pulling him impossibly closer to you. âMark, please stop asking, just do it.â
âMm, say âpleaseâ again.â
âMark!â
His laugh would be even sexier if it werenât at your expense. âAlright, fine.â Your panties stayed on as his tongue lapped at your folds through them, the flimsy cotton doing absolutely nothing to stop him from devouring you. You jerked at the feeling as his tongue licked a bold strip through your folds, your hands entangling themselves in his curly locs. âYouâre so wet, holy shit.â
One quick motion moved your panties to the side, puffy wet lips on full display for his greedy eyes. His eyes sparkled at the sight, mouth watering at the mere thought of getting to taste you. âSmell so good, pretty girl.â He was so hungry and you were the only one who could satiate him. His tongue had a mind of its own, pressing flat against your folds without a second thought, âTaste even better.â
Markâs grip on your thighs held you in place as he licked you clean, running his tongue against every nerve-ending he could feel for. He pulled them apart just enough to spread you out for him, just enough to be on full display for him. Your taste occupied every corner of his mind as he blacked out in pleasure, lapping up every drop your gushing pussy offered up.
He circled your clit until you saw stars, your squirming uncontrollable as his tongue darted inside of you. âYouâre so good to me.â
Mark groaned between your thighs, in love with the praise you were showering him with. There was something about how natural and seamless it was for you to compliment him that turned him on even more, if that was possible. âI don't think I'll ever get enough of how you taste, Christ.â
His free hand slithered up your torso, sinking his thumb into your eager mouth while his continued working at your core. He wasnât shy, either, licking boldly from your ass to your clit while shaking his tongue side to side. Slurping up every drop that dribbled out of your entrance, twisting his tongue as far inside of you as he could reach. You were dripping down his chin by the time he introduced his fingers, prodding at your glistening hole with just one to test the waters. He took the way you gripped onto his hair as his sign that you were more than enjoying it. âF-feels good, oh, God.â
âMm, donât be shy.â
Laving at your clit, he drank up the praises the way he was drinking you up. He only pulled away to fully discard your panties, diving back into center with renewed vigor. âNeed more.â You didnât want to push him any closer to you, scared youâd smother him, but he didnât seem afraid to drown. Heâd awoken something desperately greedy inside of you, and you were slipping further into a haze of pleasure with every passing moment. Two fingers pressed their way inside of you, pumping slowly to get you adjusted before the jerk of your hips told him to pick up the pace. You couldnât hold still with the way he was devouring you, mouth and hands prying you open deliciously all for his enjoyment. He would die between your thighs if you let him, youâre sure of it.
You had to physically pull him off of you to get him to stop, orgasming bubbling inside of you in record time. âWant you inside of me already.â The entirety of the lower half of his face was a sticky mess of your arousal, from his nose to his chin completely covered in you. âBro, you need to wipe⌠that.â Times like these, you were glad that you kept tissues on your nightstand.
âYou cannot and will not call me âbroâ now that I know what you taste like. How insulting.â
It hadnât dawned on you that Mark was still fully dressed, sans his plaid jacket-shirt that was curled in a sad pile on the floor. âIs that an order?â
He bit at his lip, eyes darkening as he drank in your bare figure sprawled beneath him. Your hands ran themselves up and down his arms, finally getting a chance to admire his body after all the focus was turned to you. Maybe it was the lighting, the way his hair fell over his eyes, or just the fact that he was the best kisser youâd had the pleasure of test drivingâ but he looked divine. Halo of light circling his head as he fumbled with his belt, biceps flexing as he lifted the tank top off of his lean frame. Suddenly, he wasnât your friend anymore; he was something new entirely.
You were so lost in your own adoration of him that you hadnât noticed he was undressed, pulling you directly underneath him as he kissed at your collarbones. âWhereâd you go off to, huh?â
âItâs nothing,â you shook your head, snapping back to reality (which was so much better than whatever was going on in your will they-wonât they fantasy). âThank you, for this.â
Mark didnât respond with words, instead opting to kiss you softly, tenderly. Slowly, deeply, passionately kissing you as he lowered himself atop of you. He wasnât in a rush anymore, pulling you into him like you were made of glass, grinding against your center like you had all the time in the world. Everything was so delicate, like he was savoring the moment for years to come. It scared you, if you were being honest. âMark? You know you can still kiss me while youâre inside of me, yeah?â
He hummed in approval, connecting your mouths again in a slow, languid kiss, tongues slithering into each other's mouths and twisting messily. You could feel him lining up with your entrance, his hand wrapped around his girth to guide himself into you steadily. Chancing a look down, you tried to hide the way your eyes bulged out at the sheer size of himâ he would never let you hear the end of it if you fawned over how huge he was. It took all of your willpower to remain still, your body welcomed him as though it had hundreds of times, the shape of him slotting inside of you like he was made to. His fingers tangled in your hair, angling your head so he could travel to your neck, groaning out his praise against your sticky skin. The absence of his lips on yours made you whine, hands wandering the expanse of his back just for confirmation that this was real. âTell me how it feels.â
You couldnât. Months of the worst dry spell youâd ever experienced coming to a head with Mark milking you for everything you had couldnât be described. All you could do was moan, coiling around him even tighter as he started to rock his hips forward as though he was testing the waters. He was the only thing you could focus onâ his scent, his taste, they way his nose pressed right against yours, the feeling of his fingers intertwining with yours against the mattress, the dionysian desire his hips were fulfilling. It was all just Mark, Mark, Mark. âMark!â His teeth couldnât resist nipping at your lip, pulling on it playfully before letting go to let his tongues soothe the area.
âI canât help it, youâre so fun to play with.â He kissed you to make up for the quick dot of pain, relishing in the way you immediately kissed him back with just as much enthusiasm.
âIâm, Iâm close.â
He spread your legs further apart to give himself more room to buck his hips, pressing at your thighs as he fucked into you faster. âHold it.â
âWhyyyy?â
âYou asked for the Mark Lee experience,â His thrusts grew pointed, almost exaggerated as his hips drove forward with precision, âand Iâm gonna give it to you.â
You could feel yourself teetering dangerously close to the edge, stomach coiled tight and lungs working overtime. The mere thought of being denied your orgasm was getting you worked upâ you hate not getting your way. Your legs wrapped around Markâs waist, locking your ankles together for good measure. If he wanted to play games, you were down for it. âHarder.â
But instead of faster, Mark slowed to a complete stop, hands drifting down to your hips to pin them to the mattress. âOh, baby, do you think Iâm stupid?â He chuckled in your face, shaking his head as the laughter subsided. âThatâs a sure fire way to get nothing.â
âWait, no, please! I didnât mean it.â
The damage had already been done. His patience with you was wearing thin, and he didnât take kindly to disobedience. âHave you learned your lesson?â Each second that passed stole a piece of your orgasm away with it, that delicious ball of tension and heat simmering down to a cool pit of nothing the longer Mark held your hips down. Your heart stopped fluttering with urgency, slowing to its resting rate as you dealt with the consequences of trying to outsmart your best friend. âSpeak up, baby.â
âYes,â You hissed out, annoyed that your declaration of needing to be fucked was currently going unanswered. Who is he to deny you of the very thing he promised you? âI learned my lesson.â
It was exactly what he wanted to hear, âGod, youâre so sexy when you behave yourself.âÂ
You rolled your eyes, slapping his chest as he pulled away from you entirely. âWhat happened to âhaving me seven ways to Sunday all over this apartmentâ?âÂ
It was Markâs turn to roll his eyes, fingers running through his hair as he sat back on his heels. âUp against the wall.â You did as he said, spreading your hands against the wall as you felt him behind you, lining himself up with your sodden entrance. The inward arch felt unnatural at first, but you settled into it as you got comfortable in it. âLook up at me.â Mark was towering over you, quite literally. From this angle, all you had to do to see his face was look up and there he was with that devilish smile. His cock pressed into you as you watched him, the sheer thickness splitting you clean open for him, sucking him in like your pussy had been waiting for him. âFuck, you feel so good.â
Maybe it was the taboo of sleeping with a friend, but your body was on fire. You felt your entire body heating up at the sudden change in his demeanor, switching your flirty best friend to a man absolutely starved. With your eyes screwed shut, you reached a hand out to hold onto his arm, fingers giving it a squeeze, head bumping the bare skin of his chest.
âFuck.â
You were even wetter than you were while he had you pinned to the mattress, the feeling of being filled by him more electrifying after a brief intermission. He was all over you again and that was all that mattered, walls tightening around him with a vice-like grip that had both of you gasping for air.
âShit,â he hiss, already lost in the sensation, âso good to me, ___, so fucking good.â He emphasized the last syllable with a gentle thrust that had your nails scratching at the wall. Your orgasm was building back up faster than you wouldâve liked it to, considering you knew Mark wouldnât let you cum so soon after denying you.
It hit you deeply, in all the right places at the right angle. Mark was that good from the start, and you couldnât believe youâd been missing out on it. If you knew he was this goof, you wouldâve ruined the friendship ages ago. âSo fucking deep, Mark, keep going like that,â you moaned, just as caught up as he was.
He captured your lips in a searing kiss, fucking into you with much more vigor than before, gripping your ass with such force you half expected to see the dents after. You moaned all you had to say, all you had to feel into each otherâs mouths. When his velvety tongue enveloped yours you could almost taste the remnants of your arousal and the chocolate muffin he ate right in between sweeping and mopping. The water was still running, hitting part of his back and your leg.
You couldnât pull away from him even if you triedâ he was a part of you now, molded into each otherâs bodies until you became one. âWanna keep fucking you forever,â he groaned, pouring his all into every touch. âKeep you on me forever.â
It threw you for a loop. Keep you forever? Mark was a lot more emotional than he let on, sure, but you couldnât shake the feeling that he meant it in ways other than platonic. You couldnât even stop him to ask what he meant by that because he was so deep in your guts that you were starting to feel him in your throat.Â
âDonât stop,â you cried out, biting your lip when he hit a certain spot inside you and kept hitting it over and over againâ the taste of blood didnât stop you. âDonâtstopdonâtsopdonâtstop-â Â
âFuck,â he whisper, voice strained and raspy, smacking at your ass before gripping it and bringing you down to meet his increasingly harsh thrusts, the slap echoing throughout your studio apartment. âWanna fuck you forever, baby.â One hand kept its vice grip on your hip while the other grasped at your neck, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him. âGimme a kiss, pretty girl.â Your lips found his despite the blurring of your vision, a supple lock as he steadied rocking into your core. Kissing him upside down felt worlds away from the first kiss you shared with him, and yet you still couldnât get enough of it. The hand on your hip slithered up to cup your breast, rolling your nipple as he pulled away from the kiss. âSo obedient.â
All the shame had disappeared from your body, the satisfaction of finally being fucked numbing you to his quips completely. His name was on the tip of your tongue, begging to be set free, but the way his hips ricocheted off your ass made you short circuit. Your skin was hot to the touch, goosebumps littering the expanse of your body as your toes curled around the fabric of your duvet.Â
âWho knew you were such a dirty girl, hm?â Mark tutted. You hold back your moans, reveling in the sensation of his tip sliding up and down you dripping folds. Interrupting his own rhythm just to get a rise out of you, giving you no warning before shoving himself right back in.Â
âBet this was your plan all along,â You ignore the fact that he technically initiated all of this, too blissed out to snap back at him cheekily. âDripping all over my cock, fuck.â Heâs thinking out loud, eyes locked at the way your pussy invites him in, grip unrelenting with each thrust. He drew his hips back again to repeat the same unforgiving tempo, laughing to himself at the way your thighs shake in anticipation.
âWanted this for so long.â You whine, bashful about the confession rolling off your tongue so easily. Mark had always occupied a special part of your mind, but the barrier of your friendship with him always kept you from thinking of him in that way for too long. Heâs hot, sure, and one of the most genuine guys youâd ever metâ but risking that by dating him felt too stupid to risk.
Mark didnât keep you waiting for too long, filling you to the brim with one stroke that had your toes curling. You gasp, a shiver running up your spine as he adopts a frenzied pace that nearly knocks you into the wall in front of you. âYouâre so fucking warm.â He canât help but moan out at the feeling, clutching onto your hips as he pistons in and out of you. Blunt fingers digging into your skin as you let your body fall forward. You felt so full.
âMark, fuck.â you whine, probably a tad too loud considering how thin the walls feel at night but you couldnât help it, with the way he held onto you and fucked you like he had never had good pussy in his life. âFaster.â
âWhereâd your manners go? Say âpleaseâ.â He teased, testing your obedience despite knowing youâd obey him. There was just something about knowing he held your pleasure in the palm of his hands, knowing that youâd do anything he asked of you.Â
âPlease, please, please Mark, need you so bad.â It sounded pathetic, and it only makes Markn screw his eyes shut as he fucks you harder. All control lost as he watches the drool drip from your mouth down the wallâ he was really fucking your brains out.
Mark's rough groans were slowly morphing into needy moans, the sound causing even more slick to build up between your legs. âTaking my cock like such a good girl.â And you really were, considering you had nothing but the wall to grip onto, you let your body go wherever Mark led it. Each thrust sending you closer and closer to your climax, his dick hitting every single spot that youâre sure youâd see stars.
âIâm gonna cum, fuck.â
âYouâre gonna cum? Mm, you can cum. Cum all over my dick, lemme see that pretty face.â You arched inward one last time for him, looking up at the man sending you to heaven and back on a loop. âThere you go. Good fucking girl.â Mark smacked your ass sharply, holding onto your ass as he switched his rhythm to harsh, precise thrusts that were sure to throw you over the edge of pleasure. He kissed your forehead as the growing tension in the pit of your stomach snapped, your walls contracting around him in a tight frenzy that nearly triggered his own. He didnât slow down, though. The clutching of pussy did absolutely nothing to deter him from fucking you with the same rigor, hips just as quick as they were before he finally let you cum.
âM-Mark, I donâ...â The aftershocks of ecstasy silenced you in your tracks, the sparks of pleasure like electricity through your bloodstream. âDonât stop.â
He laughed at the change of your tune, thumb flitting down to flick at your clit. âBaby needs more? Havenât had enough yet?â
Even with him poking fun at your desperation, you were too drunk on his cock to care. All you could manage was a chorus of fuck me, fuck me, fuck me as Mark held you flush against him. âGod, yes, fill me up like that.â Your arousal was dripping all over the inside of your thighs, the sticky slick glistening under the moonlight that peaked through your curtains.Â
âThatâs right, Iâm not fucking done with you yet, pretty girl.â This side of him was lethal. He was insatiable, obsessed with the way your body responded to him, greedy for the way you bent to his every whim. It was such a change of pace from the way he was kissing you in missionary, the way he treated you like a doll that he was afraid of hurting you. âFeel good?â
He was mocking youâ of course, it was good. You didnât have to tell him that for him to know; but feeding his ego was so addictive. The way heâd reward you for praising him was enough for you to fall for the trap every single time. âSo, good, Mark, hngh.â
The smack of his hips against your ass bounced off the walls, echoing the depravity that you and Mark were oh so good at acting on. All of your senses on overdrive, the overstimulation pulling at you from every end, you werenât sure if you could take it all for much longer. Drool slipped from your mouth onto Markâs arm, the edges of your vision blurring as you could feel yourself bubbling over. âGonna cum again?â
ââm gonna cum again.â
He was drunk with the power of controlling you. âHold it.â
âMark, I canât.â You were surprised you were even able to do it the first two times he commanded it, not used to having gratification delayed against your wishes.
âGonna fill you up and then you can cum.â It only took a few more targeted thrusts before he was spilling his seed into you, an endless leak of evidence of what took place over the last hour or so. Even as his cock began to soften, he made sure to fuck you through it, massaging tight circles into your clit until your legs spasmed. The air was snatched from your lungs, eyes flittering shut in sweet relief. It was only two orgasms, but the build up had really taken it out of you. Mark flipped you over gently on your back, brushing the hair out of your face as you sleepily opened your eyes.
âLook at that. Take a look at the mess we made, baby.âÂ
He gestured between your legs, a slippery canvas of cum smeared across your most intimate parts. âSo muchâŚâ You couldnât stop yourself from gathering some on your fingers, popping them into your mouth for a taste of the two of you mixed together.
Your brain was on fire, neurons alight with the molten sensation that was Mark Lee. Even though you took him up on the offer, you werenât expecting him to completely change your world. A solid orgasm and a pat of the back, maybe. But now you were afraid that he was your new addiction that youâd never be able to feed.Â
You woke up in a fresh sleep shirt to the smell of toasted bagels and coffee. Mark balanced the plates and mugs the best he could as he tackled the steps leading up to your bedroom area. âMorninâ sleepyhead.â
âWhat time is it?â
He shoved a mug of steaming coffee into your hands, kissing you on the forehead. âDonât worry about that. You were exhausted, wanted to let you sleep.â
âThank you.â The coffee was exactly to your liking, just what you needed after a night of fucking like rabbits. âSo, should we talk about⌠it?â
Blush rose to his cheeks and there was no hiding it, his hair pulled back into a messy bun so his face was on full display. âI mean, only if you want to? Iâm okay with proceeding however you want to.â
âYouâd be fine staying friends? Never talking about it? Pretending that nothingâs changed?â
He shrugged, âif thatâs what you wanted, then yeah.â His attention shifted to his breakfast, eyes zeroed in on his eggs and toast like it was a gourmet meal. âJust donât wanna make you feel weird about it, you know?â
âMark?â You placed your coffee and plate down on your bedside table, turning your full attention to him as he continued to avoid your gaze. âWhat did you mean by all the âkeep you foreverâ stuff then?â
He rushed to try to explain himself, scrambling his words into a whole lot of nothing. âItâs not, like, a big deal or anything. I just get possessive⌠in bed, sometimes. Iâm not a weirdo or anything, I promise.â
None of that mattered to you anyway, your dreams of Mark that clouded your head all night giving you the push you needed to throw caution to the wind. Would it be the worst thing in the world to risk it all with him? One kiss, chaste and sweet, was enough to shut him up for just a moment. âSo if I said we should try exploring further, maybe go on a date or something, youâd say yes?â
His eyebrows shot up to his hairline, mouth falling agape as he searched your face for any signs that you were being facetious. âY-yeah, yes. If thatâs what you want.â He was so bad with his feelings, sometimesâ but you were more than willing to be patient.
âWell, good, because thatâs what I want.â
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Ticci Toby General Headcannons
Summary: Basic, SFW, and NSFW head-cannons. My personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions about Toby as a character.
TW: NSFW below the cut, minors dni! Above the cut is sfw!
Words: 1.6k
Basic:
- Even though he is socially awkward and tense, heâs a master at people watching. Can read a room and know more details about a person within seconds of watching them interact.
- Likes his alone time.
- He would probably say Tim and Brian are his closest friends, the same canât be said about Masky and Hoodie, however.
- A pro at zoning out. Takes you waving your hand in his face before he snaps back.
- Bipolar? More-so emotional switch. Tends to be soft-spoken and awkward, trying his best to keep conversation while fidgeting his hands, looking anywhere but at your face. Otherwise, heâs an in-your-face, aggressive, no emotional resistance when that flip is switched. Lots of teeth gritting and yelling, swings his ax around like itâs a toy to intimidate. It takes a lot for him to get to that point, but it takes double the time for him to come back down from it.
- Not easily scared. Will throw himself into a fight and come out victorious somehow.
- Sleeper build. Wears lots of baggy clothing and layers so you canât tell, but secretly heâs jacked. He may look scrawny, but donât be fooled. Really strong shoulder and chest muscles from dually swinging his ax and dragging bodies around. He doesnât think itâs all that impressive. Wishes he was bigger.
- The worst posture youâve ever seen.
- Let his facial hair grow out from time to time. Thinks it makes him look too mature, but appreciates the compliments he gets.
- Has a secret hobby of playing a guitar he found on a mission. His tics mess him up a lot, but itâs worth the trip out deeper into the woods where no one can hear to practice a little.
- A little shit.
- Hates the heat. Would rather freeze to death than spend one moment in the too hot sun. Favorite season is late fall, around the first snowfall time.
- Big on territory. Never had privacy or respect as a kid so he values having his own things and belongs that nobody else can touch.
- Definitely shy, but not in the âUwUâ way, in the âCan you get this from the gas station for me? The girl in there looks mean.â
- Bites his nails, the skin around his nails, and his cuticles LIKE A MF.
- Very light sleeper. Unless heâs absolutely dead beat exhausted, heâll wake up from just the floorboards creaking. Has to be physically exhausted to actually rest.
- When listening to music, he needs it as loud and close as possible. Headphones are a must and they must be at max. He wants to feel that bass.
- A stray animal lover, feels similar to them in a way.
- Breaks down a lot. Hard to console or even talk to in those moments but some time alone in his room will do the trick.
- Has the education level of a middle schooler.
- Enjoys Gorillaz, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, and surprisingly, older country artists like Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson. âOutlaw shit.â
Dating Him/SFW:
- âLoveâ âY/NâŚâ âBabyâ
- Loves when he touches you and you donât pull away. Like when his knee accidentally rests against yours or his elbow bumps your arm while sitting on the couch and you donât tug away, just sitting there letting him rest. He gets all giddy.
- Playing with your hair. Currently trying to learn how to braid.
- âWait. O- Okay, so, right th- then left? No? F- Fuck, okayâŚâ
- Favorite sleeping position is with you wrapping around each other, legs and arms tangled together as he hooks his chin onto the top of your head, rubbing your back. Even though you both get extremely hot and sweaty after a while, Toby enjoys the moment before you eventually shove him off.
- Likes to feel your body weight on him, whether itâs laying or sitting, he just likes the pressure and warmth you give.
- Big on physical touch, could really care less if heâs mad or not, just needs to have some part of his body touching yours.
- You could wear or look like absolutely anything and heâd still think youâre the most gorgeous thing heâs ever seen.
- Loves how you smell after getting out of the shower, canât get enough of it while he kisses your warm, damp skin.
- Loves the way it feels when you comb through his hair with your fingers, practically purrs as he melts into your warmth, angling his head so you have better access.
- An admirer for sure, stares even when you catch on, studying every freckle or sunspot on your cheek.
- Self conscious about being your boyfriend. In reality, heâs an amazing lover, but heâs been conditioned his whole life that heâs not good enough and that ideal carries over.
- Tried to lick you through the hole in his cheek once, you both freaked out.
- Sensitive to high stress situations or loud noises so constantly reaches for your hand or crams himself into your side to block out the panic he can feel oncoming. You really help.
- Slasher movie date nights are always a bust because heâll describe just how inaccurate that blood splatter was, followed by what would actually happen in detail.
- âIf he c- cut the arm like that, it wou- wouldnât spray out that far. This g- guy doesnât even l- look like heâs ever even he- held an ax before.â
- Didnât have a favorite color until you told him yours. Says his is the same, just cause itâs your favorite.
- Very immature in the sense of relationship problems. He thinks everything can be solved if he just avoids it, and that includes you. It takes a lot of bickering and patience, but heâll eventually get over himself and force a solution.
- Doesnât open up about anything ever. Youâve gotta fight tooth and nail for him to even mention his motherâs name. Will tell you all about his latest mission, however, whether you want to hear or not.
- Throws things or hits you playfully just to turn around and go âWho did that??â
Dating Him/NSFW:
- Boobs. Tits. Breasts. He needs them in his palms immediately.
- A big biter. Will never bite hard enough to draw blood but gets so turned on at seeing his teeth marks in your skin. Big territory thing.
- âMine. See, I m- marked âya. Youâre mine.â
- His dream is to fuck your tits, too shy to ask though.
- Always been a âjerk off as fast as you canâ kind of guy, fisting his cock fast to just get off. So when you slowly slide down his cock for the first time, taking your time to adjust and grind your hips at a steady pace, he nearly cums on the spot from how overwhelming it is.
- Bisexual, definitely.
- Starts at a fast pace at first, thrusting and grinding until both of your hips hurt, but then slowly his pace changes, more intentional movements and sinking deeper, more focused on stretching you out then getting deep. Just wants to get you dizzy before he gives you the good stuff lol.
- âTh- That feel good? Youâre sq- squeezinâ so tight, ah-â
- His fingernail imprints all over your skin from how hard he holds you.
- Pervert but not in a creepy way. Pervert as in gets a boner from just watching your ass as you walk across the room. Has to clench his fists every time you bend over or raise your shirt up. Can barely breathe if youâre showing too much skin.
- Not big on degradation, but is very big on affirmation, loves to be told heâs doing good.
- Secretly, sooooo secretly loves the idea of anal. For both you and him. He wants to be buried in your ass, your back laid into his chest as he shoves his fingers into your cunt, panting into your neck. But at the same time, wishes you would just read his mind and push your fingers into his, fisting his cock as you stretched him so well.
- Surprisingly, very flexible. Whatever position youâre in he can easily contort to get the best angle to sink his cock in.
- Jealousy sex. Another resident of the mansion catches your glance for too long and suddenly youâre shoved into the bathroom, pants at your ankles as the brunette swipes the pads of his fingers against your clit, biting against your shoulder as he ruts into your ass.
- âMine, mine, m- mine, nobody els- else makes you feel this good. Right? R- Right? Yeah?â
- A WHINER. Grade A pro at burying his face into your neck/pillow/chest and just sobbing his pleasure through tears and moans. Heâs so loud, obnoxiously groaning and huffing as you slap your hand over his mouth. It doesnât help though, as soon as your hand pushes down his tongue is already out and licking your palms.
- You in his hoodie? Yeah, itâs the only thing youâre wearing while he snaps his hips, pushing your knees back as far as theyâll go to get even deeper, mewling about how good you look.
- Loves to sit back and watch you suck his cock, his fingers pushing strands of hair out of your face as you try to take it all in, eyes twitching the further down you get. Heâs not insanely big, just lengthy enough to make you choke and reach all the best parts. Likes to put his goggles on your forehead and watch them dangle as you bob up and down.
- Cumming in you? No. Cumming on you? Every single time. Goes absolutely crazy when he sees his seed shot across your stomach or thighs, your flushed skin and post-orgasm twitches getting him so turned on he canât focus.
- âYou ju- just look so good⌠Couldnât he- help myself, okay? Sorry⌠Can we, u- uh⌠Can we go ag- again?â
Thank you for reading!
Comments and reblogs are appreciated! đââš
#smut#creepypasta#creepypasta fanfic#creepypasta smut#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta x y/n#creepypasta x female reader#creepypasta x you#creepypasta headcanon#headcanon#headcannons#ticci toby x y/n#ticci toby x you#ticci toby x reader#ticci toby smut#ticcy toby#ticci toby#ticci toby x female reader#tobias erin rogers#tobias rogers#ticci toby headcanons#rainsbrain#ticci toby creepypasta#creepypasta ticci toby#slenderverse#creepypasta oneshots#creepypasta toby#jeff the killer#eyeless jack
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very discreet
summery: you and bucky have a relationship nobody is aware of. they keep trying to set him up with other women while bucky is trying to avoid them.
pairing: Grumpy!Bucky x Quiet!Reader
warning: SMUT, fluff, bad writing???, swearing
A/N: clearly i have a thing for grumpy bucky but i also have a thing was hidden relationships. you can read the asks for this fic at the lodge's BNB and also here is the steve's story in this universe
âOh come on Bucky, how long will you stay single? Don't you think it's time you start looking for a partner?â Natasha pointed her knife at Bucky while they were polishing their weapons.
âI don't need anyone, Nat.â Bucky sighs and keeps on cleaning his guns.
âBullshit!â Natasha stabs the wooden table beside Bucky. âWe're all wrung out after missions and we all need a release. You know better than to stay holed up in a room with veins full of adrenaline. If not a girlfriend, get some beneficial partner.â Natasha shrugged.
âYou might be doing that, Nat but I really don't need someone. I am happy where I am.â Bucky picks up his guns and arranges them back in their place. He wipes his workstation clean and walks out.
The mission today wasn't that bad but Bucky felt tired. The entire team has been on his case for over two months. How can he convince them that he doesnt need anyone? He's fine where he is. In fact, he is happier than ever and he would never trade this with anything else.
He walks in his room and wearily grabs his towel and sweatpants to take a shower. He turns on the water and stands under it till he hears his bathroom door being opened. He turns on the hot water to the right temperature and shuffles to make space. He hears some rustling and the shower curtain is pulled slightly open. You, very slowly step in and stand under the water source.
âI missed you, doll.â Bucky wraps his arms around you. You nod with a slight blush.
You pull out the loofah and pour the body wash on it. Bucky takes it from your hand and starts helping you clean up. Once you are covered in soap, you turn to Bucky and return the favor. Washing away the grime, dirt and tiredness of the day, you both towel each other dry.
âBucky,â You point at one of his t-shirts from the wardrobe and look down thinking he might reject what you're asking.
âYou don't need to ask me, doll. What's mine is yours.â He pulls a t-shirt on you and kisses your cheek. You nod and blush even more. You shuffle onto the bed and snuggle to your side of the bed, waiting patiently for Bucky to come.
âTell me about your day, doll. Was it very draining?â he slips into the bed and brings you closer. You wrap your arms around his waist and bury your face in his chest and nod a yes.
He sighs in content and pulls the comforter up. Your legs are parted and one of them is resting on Buckyâs hips. He kisses your forehead and his metal arm slowly drags to your inner thighs. You weren't wearing any underwear, giving complete access to Bucky, as he plunged his metal middle finger into your core. You gasp and your hold around Bucky tightens. He pulls out his finger and rubs your clit, making you moan in his chest. His hold on your waist tightens as he pushes two fingers in you again and uses his thumb to caress your nub. Your moans and gasps fill the quiet room as you reach the edge. You twist a little and put your hand on your mouth as you come all over Buckyâs sweatpants. You sigh and push Bucky a little, signaling him to grab new sweatpants. He complies and snuggles back into the bed against you.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
The kitchen was lively today. Nobody was on a mission so the atmosphere was very relaxed. But not everyone was relaxing.
âBucky, come on, go on this date. She's really nice and totally your type.â Sam pushed the topic further.
âHow do you know my type, bird brain?â Bucky walked behind the kitchen counter.
You were standing there, making lunch for everyone while Bucky helped. Bucky would discreetly hold your waist or find a way to keep close to you in the kitchen. You were a blushing mess but Bucky didn't mind. As he saw nobody was looking, he kissed your cheek and went to the fridge to pretend as if nothing had happened. You just stood there with eyes wide.
âLet me help out.â Bucky very subtly held your waist and moved you away from the stove and started stirring the soup pot. He knew he had shocked you enough and you needed to calm down.
âShe's all goth. You grunt, she stares. It's like a match made in heaven, Tinman. Go out with her. Nat arranged the date for you.â Sam continued and Nat nodded.
You looked up and saw Bucky roll his eyes and shake his head. His hand went to his chest and caressed his shirt before going back to the stove.
âI'm not going anywhere. I've told you before, I do not want to go on dates. I am happy where I am.â
âToo late, Barnes. She'll be waiting for you at the cafe this evening. I've already arranged the date and promised her. You can't back out now.â Nat warned Bucky.
âWhat the fuck, Nat! I told you I'm not interested. Cancel it. Im not going and thats final.â Bucky slams the stirring spoon on the counter and stomps out of the kitchen but not before subtly nudging you to follow.
âTalk some sense into him. He listens to you. Tell him it is a good idea to meet new people,â Sam pleads to you.
You just shake your head and grab some soup in two bowls. One for you and one for Bucky. The rest of the team gather slowly to grab the soup.
You stop in front of your door and knock. A furrowed eyed Bucky opens the door and side steps to let you in.
You hold out the soup bowl towards Bucky who has turned his back to you. âBucky?â
Your quiet whisper of his name was enough to melt his brains off. He stands up and takes the soup bowl from your hand, putting it to the side. He hugs you and nuzzles his head in your neck, breathing in deeply. Your hand instinctively wraps around his waist and you start rubbing his back to calm him down.
âThey just won't let it go. I'm sorry, doll. I wish I could give a better reason to them.â Bucky mumbles into your neck, sending waves of goosebumps all over your body.
âIt's okay. Go.â You try to make him go because you know what it's like to be stood up and you know for the fact that Bucky will stand the girl up.
âI'm not gonna listen to you this time, doll. This is ridiculous. I am not leaving and that is final. Maybe I'll send one of those apology flowers you talk about to her through Happy.â he tightens his hold on you. You sigh. You knew it was pointless from getting him to change his mind.
You just wanted him to go and tell the girl that he is committed elsewhere but he is so stubborn that he won't even listen to what you have to say so you try to pull away to at least have him finish his soup.
âNo. stop pulling away.â He sits back on bed with you in his lap, not even letting you go. You giggle and try to make space between the two of you so you can at least grab the soup bowl.
âBucky, soup.â You manage to release your hand point at the bowls.
âFine. but only because you are hungry and you made this with so much love.â His stomach grumbles and he makes a face, making you giggle even more.
His frown melts into a smile and he grabs your face, peppering kisses all over it, making you giggle and laugh. âThis is why I'm not going anywhere. You are perfect, doll. I love you.â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
âYou piece of shit! Did you seriously stand her up? What the fuck is wrong with you?â Nat blasted at him and threw a punch at him.
Bucky ducked and svewerd to the side to keep you safe. You were standing very close to Bucky to hide the fact that he was holding your waist. But just as Nat threw a punch at him, he pulled away and moved away from you.
âAre you crazy? You could have hurt her.â Bucky pointed at you while dodging Natâs punches. âAnd I sent flowers to say sorry. I told you I am not interested. When I say no, accept it.â
Bucky blocks Natâs punches with his metal arm and pushes her away. Before she could do more damage, Steve walks in and stands between Bucky and Nat.
âEnough, both of you. This is not a dueling ground. Walk it off, Romanov. And you, Bucky, let's talk.â Steve nods at you and guides Bucky out of the gym leaving you sigh in relief.
That night, everyone had dinner on their own. You weren't very keen on cooking so you, Bucky and Steve got pizza together. They had put on Harry Potter since you loved talking about it.
Bucky couldn't keep his eyes off of you as you mouthed the dialogues with the characters. He smiled. Steve nudged Bucky and shook his head with a smile.
Steve loved seeing his best friend so happy. Steve loved you like a sister too. Your quiet and shy nature had calmed Steve in many situations and he was grateful. You had taken Steveâs side during the fallout and helped Bucky without a complaint. Surprisingly Bucky wanted to keep you by his side. Steve saw Bucky open up to you and you accepted him naturally. One day Steve found Bucky cuddled up with you and he knew this was his brotherâs happy ending.
âI'm off to bed. Doll, take care,â Steve kissed your forehead. âBuck, please stop fighting with people. And think about what I said, both of you. I know where you come from but think about it before it causes more such issues.â
Steve closed the door behind him as he walked out and went off to bed. You turned off the movie and got up to throw the boxes away. Bucky took the boxes from you and walked out of the room to throw them off while you cleaned up the room and got ready to sleep.
Bucky walked in, took off his shirt and crawled in the bed beside you. âWhat are you thinking, doll?â He saw your solemn expression.
âMaybe Steve is right.â You whisper quietly, fumbling with the edge of the blanket.
Bucky holds your hand and pulls you close to lie on his chest. âAre you worried? I will do what you want to do, doll.â
âYou have been doing what we want, Bucky, but after today, I didn't think it would get this serious.â
âAre you talking about my little tiff with Nat? It worked out at the end. You know that.â Bucky kissed your forehead.
âThat and the fact that you got set up on a date. I-i know that you won't ever go but, it-it scared me. I-â Your voice started to waver.
You cried on Buckyâs chest. He lifted your face up and wiped away the tears, kissing your forehead.
âDoll, I get it. That's what made me more angry. They were talking about it to you as well. Trying to involve you in their little plans. I hated that you had to listen to all of that.â
âSo? What do you think?â You lift your face and rest your chin on his chest, looking at him.
âDon't tell Steve I said this, it'll get to his head, but he is right.â
You rise up to give him a peck but Bucky pulls you for a deeper kiss. You moan and straddle his waist. He lifts your (his) t-shirt up and throws it on the floor, without letting his lips leave yours. You grind against his clothed erection.
âDidn't wear any panties, doll? My perfect girl.â
He flips you and removes his sweatpants. He aligns himself against your folds and slowly pushes himself in. your back arches on the bed and a loud moan escapes your throat. He flips the pair of you again and gets you on top of him, pushing his cock deeper into you. You slowly start to grind against him, making him moan and hiss. His hands are kneading your breasts and pinching your nipples as he starts pushing himself into you. You start bouncing over him to match his rutting speed.
âFuck, doll. You're being so good right now.â
You whimper as you get closer to the edge. âBucky, im gonna-â
âCum, doll. Ive got us.â
His speed increases and soon you both cum and he fills you up while you're gushing down on him. You pant as your body falls on him. He caresses your back as you both catch your breaths.
He slowly gets up, taking you with him, to the bathroom to clean up. The cleaning up in the shower turns into another session and later you both fall on the bed, naked and exhausted. You pull yourself a little further from Bucky and pull out a dainty gold band from the bedside table.
You hand the ring over to Bucky who chuckles and slips it on your finger. You sigh with content and snuggle into the blanket with Buckyâs chest against your back, all tucked in.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
The New Yearâs party by Tony Stark is always iconic and it was just as this year too. You and Bucky came to the party together. Bucky was immediately called over by Tony to meet some people while you made your way to the corner of the room. Steve saw you and stood beside you with beer in his hand.
You look at Steve with beer and giggle.
Steve looks at you and rolls his eyes. âI know. But I enjoy the feeling of the bottle in my hand. Makes me feel normal, yâknow.â
You nod and pat his back. He relaxes. You point at his hand and he shakes his head. âNot today.â Steve instantly changes the topic. âBucky told me about your plan today. I'm here for support, you know that, right?â You nod your head vigorously, making Steve laugh out loud.
Hearing Steve laugh, Bucky turns his head in the direction to see a smile on your face while Steve laughs. He relaxes a little and goes back to the conversation. But no matter how hard he tried, he could not get to you the entire night. Someone either dragged him away or you were occupied with conversation with the teammates, but mostly it was the first reason.
It was time for dinner and you started digging around the buffet table to find your favorites. Bucky subtly joined you and handed him the plate.
âI'm nervous, doll.â He whispers in your ears. You look up to him and his stale blue eyes are staring deep into yours. You look around to see if someone isn't looking and pull him in a very secluded corner. You peck his lips and hug him tightly. He releases the breath he didn't know he was holding and wraps his free arm around you.
âThank you, doll, I needed it.â
You take the plate from him and walk back to the buffet table and gather more food before moving back to the corner of the room. Bucky looks at you as you go with a bounce in your step. He could tell you were happy with the decision and he smiled.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
People were counting down and Bucky was dragged to the other side of the room. You stood in your corner and tried to find Bucky in the crowd. You could have pushed through but he was too surrounded. You shift from one foot to another. The heels were killing you and Bucky had promised that you'd leave immediately after the countdown was done.
Bucky dodged and stumbled against the crowd to reach you. He heard many women in the crowd saying they had a chance with him and he did not want to give it to them.
3
Bucky came across one woman who tried to grab his shirt.
2
Natasha pointed at some woman behind Bucky who would like a kiss but Bucky distracted her
1
Almost there
Happy New Year!
Your back was to the crowd. A hand slipped around your waist and pulled you around to face your blue-eyed man. âHappy New Year, doll.â
He kissed you deeply. He was pouring out all the adrenaline that had flown into him while reaching you. Your hand cupped his face and pulled him closer. His metal arm held the back of your head to angle it better while his flesh arm held you tightly against his body.
You heard the entire room gasp and then pin drop silence. You needed to breathe so you tapped his shoulder twice. He pulled his lips away from yours and rested his forehead against yours.
âI guess it's time, doll.â
He moves to your side and pulls you closer to him. But before he could get a word out, Sam jumped in.
âYou and her? When did that happen?â
âWell, if you would be quiet, I would tell you.â Bucky pulls you to the couch and sits down, taking you on his lap. You try to slide down beside him but his hold wonât budge. âWell, this is a family matter and I assume the rest of you got the message.â
âRight, well, thank you all for joining the party but I guess it ends here today.â Tony starts shooing people away.
Steve comes and sits beside Bucky and you. He slaps Bucky on the back supportively and you smile a little before burying your face in Buckyâs neck out of embarrassment.
âEveryone is gone. Out with it, Tinman.â Sam jumps onto the adjacent sofa with Nat and the rest of the team in tow.
âWe're married.â Bucky pulls out his hand from around your waist and grabs your left hand to show off the matching wedding bands.
âWhat the fuck!!!â Natasha jumps out of the seat and comes close to check the rings.
âSince when?â Tony asked.
âThree years now, right doll?â You nod.
âThree years! Right under our noses?â
âWhen did you get married? Where? How? What?â
Everyone was very confused with the revelation.
âWe met during the fallout and well, i started to fall in love with her. She felt the same and we got married in a city hall in New York.â Bucky explained in short terms. You were still in his lap and nodded to everything he said, supporting his statement.
âBut, why were we not invited? We were with you the whole time! How did we not know about this?â Sam almost screamed his head off.
âYou werent there all the time. Remember the day Steve sent you all to stakeout? He helped me and the doll get to the city hall and we got married. Captain America as our witness.â Bucky chuckled at the last statement, earning a small whack from you on his chest. Steve just rolled his eyes.
âYou knew!â Natasha pointed at Steve who shrugged. âIt wasn't my story to tell and I just wanted to see my best friend happy. He was happy with her so I stopped them.â
The discussion went on for almost an hour. Your little stifled yawn caught Buckyâs attention and he got up with you in his arms.
âAlright kids, my wife and I are tired and I have plans for our third anniversary tomorrow.â
âBye.â You wave at them and slump back in his arms.
âWait! At Least tell us your anniversary date.â
âIt's January 1st. It was dead winter and my wife showed me that I can be happy during the cold too.â
He lets the elevator door shut on everyoneâs faces. Seeing a sleepy you in his arms was all he could ask for this New Year.
................................
this fic is open for requests
#bucky barnes x reader#fanfiction#fluff#marvel fandom#smut#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barns x y/n#grumpy!bucky#shy!reader#quiet!reader#fanfic#bucky barnes#loverslodge
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In a piece for The New Inquiry from back in 2017, George Dust states that when queer people complain about there being a top shortage, what they really mean is ânobody is fucking me the way I want, and I have no agency in that.â Alongside co-authors Billy-Ray Belcourt and Kay Gabriel, Dust suggests that many queer people align themselves with a passive or âbottomâ position because they believe that role will absolve them of the guilt of really wanting things. They present themselves as what they believe to be the sexual party with zero power; the receiver, the accepter of action rather than its cause.
This position is drawn in contrast to the bottom-identified personâs idea of a top: the one who approaches, the person with hungers and desires, the person who decides which sexual activities will happen and how intense they will get. The top, from this perspective, is the stronger, more capable, more dangerous person. Theyâre the only one who can ever be guilty of intruding or harming somebody else. This power is scary, but itâs also compelling.
Dust calls this fantastical version of a top a âbruteâ â and they are the most cartoonish stereotype of what it means in society to be a man. Because itâs a cartoonish stereotype, no human actually lives up to it â and weâd probably revile a person even if they could.
Though queer people know we are harmed by the gender binary and heteronormativity and all the social scripts those things force upon us, its biases are still embossed on our brains. Without meaning to, we reproduce tired gender stereotypes in our relationships. And so we see expressing a sexual want as masculine, and being masculine as being more capable of violence and coercive control, and thus bad. We see failing to communicate oneâs desires openly as desirably feminine, as well as a sign of blamelessness and purity â because on some level we still feel it is wrong to have desires.
But this entire worldview is a complete lie. Desire is not evil. Expressing attraction is not a violation. Failing to express oneself can be just as dangerous as not listening to someone elseâs limits. Women can be abusive. Bottoms can sexually assault. No matter our gender, presentation, or sexual role, we are each capable of harm. And the only way to make a safe, mutually pleasurable sexual encounter happen is by going after it, actively, and communicating from a position of inner strength.
So how do you do that, if societyâs been telling you all your life that youâre meant to date by acting like a deer passively snapping twigs in the woods, waiting for some hunter to hear you, and pursue you? (That really is dating advice that Evangelical Christian counselors give to women, if you can believe it).
By not fixating so much on what youâre doing or not doing to draw other people toward you, and instead thinking in terms of what you want and what you observe beyond yourself.
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pre-relationship bullshit haikyuu teams probably had to put up with before various ships managed to get their shit together
daisuga probably was really annoying with like small/petty jealousy, like a girl would hit on one of them and the other would be standing behind their back making faces about it and mocking it and everyone else on the team just has to put up with it. and then theyre all overly sweet to each other to make up for the petty jealousy or some odd version of "winning them back" after the flirting event and the team is rolling their eyes *so hard*
i think asanoya is so annoying bc nobody can convince Asahi that Noya likes him. Like full stop. Eventually someone pulls him aside and is point blank like "Noya said he has a crush on you ask him out" and Asahi is just like: "Haha he was probably joking" and just leaves the scene. Like the absolute refusal to believe it from Asahi combined with Noya's classic teen boy inability to be sincere means that even after theyve both been told they somehow still havent gotten together??? how long is this going to take???
tsukkiyama probably ruins everyone's week the week before they get together bc one of them *saw* a confession letter stuck into the other's bag and absolutely went (emotionally) off the rails for the days leading up to them discovering it was for them.
I am fully of the camp that iwaoi start dating before they label it/make it official so the whole team is screaming like "PLEASE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT" meanwhile Oikawa is saying "we just went on a few dates and kissed a few times it doesnt mean anything" and Iwa is in the background shouting "yeah I dont wanna be anyone's boyfriend that's lame" and then they wander off to go eat dinner together holding hands and the team is left in frustration because ALL they talk about is how theyre *not* in a relationship.
for bokuaka its mostly just Bokuto pestering every goddamn person he knows for like 4 months asking "do you think Akaashi likes me?" or "do you think he'd say yes if I asked him out?" and then one day making Konoha *snap* when he says "I need to tell you a secret" and the secret is that he has a crush on Akaashi as if nobody had known that
with ushiten I imagine Tendou was probably really obvious with his crush/interest but in like a very casual "not taking myself too seriously" kind of way so he's comfortable openly flirting, and Ushijima, against everyone's expectations, doesnt seem to mind the attention but is still who he is, so the whole team just has to put up with the most INSANE interactions. Like Tendou walks into the locker room and cat calls him and Ushijima just replies with a formal "thank you" and Semi is contemplating slamming his head in a locker. There's like 12 months of this.
okay okay but I think arankita is *very classic* in that Aran compensates for his crush by over-supporting Kita. so like the whole team gets super annoyed bc Aran wont risk disagreeing with him, is always offering to do extra work, is generally just sucking-up really badly and the twins suffer the most for this bc Aran used to just ignore their antics but now he's super annoyingly on them all the time to try and impress Kita
kuroken is a little different. Yaku asks Kuroo every single day if he's asked Kenma out yet. Lev asks Kenma if he has a crush on Kuroo every chance he gets. Fukunaga gives them a wink when they leave practice to walk home together. This is the only pairing in which the team is the irritant pre-relationship and then post-relationship everyone loses interest and moves on.
I'd include kagehina but once again the entire goddamn show is everyone putting up with them flirting so whats the point.
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BECOMING MRS. SIM
Title: Becoming Mrs. Sim
Pairing: Boss!jake x F!secretaryreader
Genre: Romance, drama, contract-to-real marriage
Summary: To ensure his position in the company, Jake proposed to you in front of his dad. What started of as a fake marriage, slowly turns into real romance with a bit of drama.
Contents warning: Cursing, mention of 'kys', implied sh, may or may not make you puke due to the fluff, suggestive, mention of third party, a tiny bit of angst (like as big as one virus)
Word Count: 16k
A/n: Ngl, this is the first time I wrote so much for a fanfic. Even I was surprised I managed to go passed 10k lmao. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading it ^^
Taglist: @sumzysworld @dreamiestay @heeverseblog @originalladymilkshake @bookloversomuch @laurradoesloveu @niniissus
â
"We need to find you a wife."Â
There you go - a sentence that Jake has been waiting to hear from his dad.Â
Jake was born with a golden spoon in his mouth. Despite being wealthy, he chose to live just like the others. He would prefer to do a lot of things by himself. He finds satisfaction in it.Â
Sim family is known to have one of the largest businesses in Asia and the examples for others. So, when Jake has finally reached 'the age', it's natural to expect him to become the next successor.Â
Jake has an older brother. However, he chose to venture into different field, leaving Jake as his dad's only hope to take over the company.Â
But, in order for his dad to grant the status to Jake, he has to get married. It was his dad's main condition.
His dad had always been living with the principle of behind every successful man, there is his wife. According to his dad, being married motivates him to be better both personally and career-wise so that he can provide more for his wife and his children.Â
On the contrary, Jake believes in independency. No, it's not that he hates love or relationship. In fact, he was in a relationship back then. Unfortunately, things happened, and they drifted away from each other. Nobody really knows about it and Jake wished to keep it that way.Â
"Is it really necessary, dad," he asked his dad.Â
"Of course. Getting married and loving your wife with all your heart will help you in gaining people's trust better - rather than be single. You will appear more... capable and trustworthy."Â
"But-"Â
Just as Jake was about to say something, his dad cut him off by placing a file on the coffee table between both of them.Â
"This is Kim's eldest daughter. I heard that she graduated from fashion designing with good result. Personally, I think that she is a perfect woman to be your wife."Â
Jake looks at the file and at his dad with a raised brow.Â
"Really? A blind date?"Â
Mr. Sim just shrugs his shoulder. "Well, it's not like you will ever introduce anyone to me, right?"Â
Jake leans his back against the couch and let out a deep sigh. God, one thing he doesn't like is going on a blind date which is arranged by others without his consent.Â
He don't like it when people tell him to do stuff that he doesn't want to do. It makes him feel like he is being force to do things. Last thing he wants is to hurt an innocent woman.Â
As Jake is in deep thought, there's a knock coming from outside Mr. Sim's office.Â
"Come in," his dad said.Â
You turn the knob and enter the room with a tray of coffee cups in your hand. You bow your head slightly at both Jake and Mr. Sim before walking towards the table and place the cups on it.Â
"Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Sim?"Â
Jake's dad shakes his head at you. "That's all for now. Thank you, Ms. Y/LN."Â
You bow your head for the second time before walking away from both of them. But just as you were about to turn the knob, Jake calls out your name.Â
"Ms. Y/LN."Â
You turn your head to him.Â
"Yes?"Â
Jake flashes a small smile to you.Â
"Can you come here for a while, please?"Â
Your head tilts slightly but still turning your heels around and walk towards Jake.Â
"Yes, Mr. Sim. May I help you?"Â
A few seconds passed by before Jake looks up at you with a wider smile. He then turns to his dad.Â
"Dad, actually, I'm planning to marry Ms. Y/LN."Â
"WHAT?!"Â
Both you and his dad said in unison. As if on cue, both of you also look at each other with eyes widened.Â
"I-"Â
"Y/n..."Â
Jake cut you off by calling your name softly, making you turn to him with the same widened eyes.Â
"I'm sorry I had to propose to you this way when I already had plan to surprised you. I promise I'll make it up to you, okay."Â
You and Jake are not really strangers. Both of you went to the same high school back then and reunited when you first entered the company as Mr. Sim's - his dad's - secretary.Â
The difference is that both of you barely talk to each other. You only know each other's name, and that's it. So, when Jake suddenly confessed to his dad that he wants to marry you, it makes you dumbstruck.Â
"I never knew you and Jake are dating, Ms. Y/LN."Â
You turn your head to Mr. Sim and open your mouth to say something. But nothing seems to come out.Â
"I asked her to keep it private since it had only been a few months since we got together."Â
Jake told another lie. You turn to Jake to say something. But, before you can do anything, he reaches out to hold your hand and flashing a soft smile to you.Â
"But every time I'm with her, I felt nothing but love, warmth, and comfort. That's how I know she's the one for me."Â
God, if you didn't know any better, you would have said that he's telling the truth. Anyone would coo at how adorable Jake is despite he is telling a lie. That is how good all of this is.Â
To tell the truth, you have always found Jake attractive just like other girls. Although both of you have never talk to one another, you did observe him from time to time.Â
Just like any other schools, there will always be at least a heartthrob - and Jake happened to be one of it during high school along with his other two friends.Â
As much as you would like to mind your own business, you can't help your eyes to look at him from afar. Every time he's around his friends, he will always have that big happy smile that can melt any hearts around him.Â
You find it cute and adorable at the same time. But that was it. He was only your eye candy back in high school.Â
Yet, here you are, in his car as his out-of-nowhere fiancĂŠ.Â
After he - somehow - proposed to you in front of his dad, he asked for Mr. Sim's permission to bring you out for the day, saying that he wants to make it up to you.Â
Of course, being the loving understanding dad, he allowed it without knowing that it was all just a scam.Â
"Where are we going, Mr. Sim?" You asked.Â
"Somewhere other than the office." Jake gave a simple answer.Â
Just like that, both of you are back in the silence. You turn your head to look out the window as Jake continue to focus on his driving. As much you want to say something, you feel like it's best to give each other some space.Â
You don't know how long have passed by but the way the cityscape suddenly changed into beach view proved to you that Jake has brought you somewhere far. Probably an hour or two.Â
Jake slows down the speed as the car reaching to its destination. He pulled the hand brake and turn the gear into 'P'. He let out a deep sigh before unbuckling his seatbelt and open the door.Â
You watch as Jake exits the car and walk towards the sandy area. After a while, you decide to follow him. You open the door and walk towards the man, standing beside him.Â
You were about to speak when suddenly Jake cut you off.Â
"I'm sorry."Â
You just keep quiet, allowing Jake to continue his words.Â
"I'm sorry I pulled you into this mess. I dislike the idea of anyone forcing me to date, let alone get married."Â
"Then, why didn't you say so?"Â
Jake bites his lower lips. "I can't. I know I'm the only heir that my dad has left. If I didn't take over, God knows what will happen to the company."Â
You turn towards Jake. "Then, why me? Am I not being forced to get married with you?"Â
Jake's eyes soften at your words. You're right. He did force you to do something you don't want to when he himself hate when someone did that to him. Â
What a hypocrite.Â
"Y/n. I know we don't really know each other that much. But I need your help. Just this once. After I become the CEO, we will discuss the next step. Is that okay?"Â
You look into Jake's eyes. This is the first time in your whole life have you seen him looking so desperate. His demeanour used to be confident. It's almost as if he got everything under control.Â
But today, today is different. He looks like someone who is willing to do anything just so he could keep his title. Just the thought of it makes you scoff lightly.Â
"Okay, I will help you just this once. You owe me big time, Mr. Sim."Â
You held out your hand for Jake to shake.Â
"You won't be disappointed, Ms. Y/L/N."Â
Flashback:Â
Finally, lunch hour, students' favourite time of the day. As usual, Jake would spend his time with his best friends - Jay and Sunghoon.Â
"Should we go on a trip during summer?"Â Sunghoon asked.Â
"What about Jeju?"Â
"We've been there a lot of times, Jay," Jake said.Â
Jay poked his rice using the spoon as a pout formed on his face.Â
"But I like it there. The view is beautiful."Â
Jake and Sunghoon looked at each other before laughing together.Â
"You're so cute when you're sulking," the youngest among them teased.Â
As Jay and Sunghoon were having their normal banters, Jake's eyes fell upon a girl. A girl in her ponytail, eating her food with her friends around her. From time to time, she would engage with the conversation as well by joining them or simply laughed at her friend's joke.Â
Jake saw her for the first time when he was walking out the infirmary. He was not feeling well that day, so he decided to take a rest. Â
Coincidentally, she was walking towards the infirmary as well. She stopped on her track when she saw him.Â
"Are you okay," she asked.Â
Jake nodded his head at her. "I'm good."Â
She smiled softly at him. "That's a relief. Take a break when you need it. Don't push yourself too much. You deserve some break."Â
She walked away after conveying her message, leaving Jake at the hallway.Â
Ever since then, he would see her almost everywhere at school. Wherever he went to, she would be there as well. It was as if fate was trying to match them together.Â
"You're staring again," Jay said as he nudged Jake's shoulder.Â
"You should really just talk to her at this point."Â
Jake shook his head lightly. "No, I like it like this. It's better like this."Â
Sunghoon let out a sigh and Jay shrugged his shoulder before both of them continue eating their foods.Â
Jay, Sunghoon, and Jake had always been together ever since they were little. Yet, ever since Jake met her, it was as if a new side of Jake appeared right before their eyes. Surprisingly, it only appeared whenever the girl was around. Whenever you were around.Â
Jake claimed that it was him admiring someone. But to Jay and Sunghoon, it was definitely more than that.Â
âÂ
âI never knew this day would come.âÂ
You just smile at your dadâs words as you continue to eat your food with Jake beside you.Â
Two weeks after the so-called-proposal that Jake pulled in front of his dad, both of you decided to visit your parents to lay out the message. Well, technically you told Jake to meet your parents. If they approved of him, then youâre good to go.Â
âThank you, uncle and auntie, for allowing me inside this beautiful house of yours.âÂ
Your mom let out a soft laugh. âOur house is small compared to yours. It is our honour that you are willing to come to our house instead.âÂ
True to your momâs words, you were not born with golden spoon. Compared to Jakeâs family, yours are more of in the middle class. Your family didnât gain as much as Simâs family, but it's already more than enough.Â
âHow do you find the foods, Jake?âÂ
Jake looks up to your mom and flashes her a happy grin.
So cute, just like a kid, you thought to yourself.Â
âItâs so delicious. Itâs true what they said. No foods can ever be compared to a motherâs cooking.âÂ
Everyone including you laugh at his words. You missed being in this environment. So warm, so full of love and affections. No, you donât have bad blood with your family. You were just rarely home due to your work. Â
But now that youâre here, you arenât going to miss a chance to spend more time with your family as much as you can.Â
As the night came, your dad and Jake decided to spend their time together at the backyard of your house, giving you a chance to spend time with your mom.Â
Your dad sips on the coffee that he made earlier.Â
âWhy did you choose Y/n?âÂ
Jake turns his head to look at the elder man beside him. With a small smile on his face, Jake lifts his head to the sky.Â
âY/n is a nice woman. She cares for others a lot. She would do anything to make everyone around her happy. She will give her 100% towards something that matters to her.âÂ
Jake lets out a soft sigh, almost dreamily.Â
âBefore I know it, I want to be with her. I want to be there for her. I want to do things for her. I want to care for her. I want to protect her.âÂ
Jake swallows his saliva, trying to maintain his composure in front of his soon-to-be father-in-law.Â
âSo, you want to marry my daughter just because she is nice?âÂ
Your dadâs question makes Jake look at him, who is already looking at Jake. Jake smile to himself before shaking his head.Â
âNo, I did not ask for her hand simply because she is nice. I want to marry her because she makes me better as a human being. Everything seems smooth every time we are together. Before I know it, I canât imagine myself with anyone but her. She is the only woman I want to have a future with. No one else, but y/n.âÂ
Your dad considered his words carefully. He then put his hand on Jakeâs shoulder.Â
âY/n⌠she is our only child. She had always done things by herself. There are times where we would feel worried for her. Well, up until now, we still are. So, when she brought you back home, her mom and I felt better. At least we know that she wonât be alone forever.âÂ
Jake just smiles at your dadâs words. Oh, how would he feel if he knew our marriage is only for a while, he thought.Â
âThank you, Jake, for looking after our angel. She is everything to us. I hope you feel the same as well.âÂ
Jake just nods his head at your dadâs words before both of them drink the coffee from their own cup. Â
Making you as his everything; will Jake be able to do that?Â
Â
Flashback:Â
Jake had lost count on how many drinks he had tonight. As he tried to reach for another one, Jay hit his hand, making him groaned in pain.Â
âWhat the fuck is wrong with you, Jake? You looked like a mess.âÂ
Jake just scoffed at Jayâs words. He looked up at his friends and gritted his teeth.Â
âEasy for you to say. You didnât go through what I went through. It hurts. It fucking hurts.âÂ
Sunghoon sigh for the nth times for the night. Both him and Jay had been trying to understand Jake's situation. But the only thing Jake revealed was that he broke up with his girlfriend. That was it. He didnât say how nor why. No matter how many times they asked him, he kept his mouth shut.Â
âI really love her, guys. I donât think I can live without her.âÂ
Jay rubbed his forehead, trying to calm himself down from exploding to the drunken man. The words âheâs my friendâ keep on chanting in his head. He was about to open his mouth, but Sunghoon cut him off.Â
âDie then.âÂ
Jake looked up at his friendâs words. His eyes widened, surprised at the sudden reaction.Â
âThe fuck did you just say to me?!âÂ
Sunghoon shrugged his shoulder. âYou said you canât live without her. So, go on and die. Itâs easy.âÂ
Jakeâs eyes that were filled with tears turned into anger. He stood up from his seat and grabbed Sunghoonâs collar, making everyone including Jay surprised.Â
âYou think you are better than me?!âÂ
Sunghoon held Jakeâs hand with his before smirking at him.Â
âI am. Iâm not the drunk one here.âÂ
Jakeâs hand turned into a fist. God, he hated Sunghoon at this moment. He fucking hates the guy in front of him. He was about to punch Sunghoon, but Jay managed to stop it by pushing his fist away and broke off his grip from Sunghoonâs collar.Â
âEnough! Both of you, out!âÂ
They stared at each other angrily before walking out of the premise with Jay following behind. Â
Minutes have passed since they were sitting outside of a convenience store. Not long after, Jay walked out of the store with canned coffees and a water bottle in his hands. He gave one of the coffees to Sunghoon and the water bottle to Jake.Â
The three of them continued to stay in silence before Jake decided to break it first.Â
âSorry. I shouldnât lash out to you.âÂ
Sunghoon pursued his lips. âIâm sorry too. It was immature of me trying to stir you up.âÂ
Jay just looked at both of his friends with a smile. This is the friendship that the three always had. Countless of fights, countless of apologies. Itâs hard sometimes, but this friendship is important to them, and they knew they need each other.Â
âI just⌠I donât know if I can love other person the way I love her.âÂ
Jay reached out to pat his friendâs back.Â
âYou will bro. You will. Trust me.âÂ
Jake just nodded his head, too tired to even say anything at this point. All he knew was that he loved his now ex-girlfriend with all his heart. He gave her everything that he could give. Time, presents, everything.Â
Yet, it still ended this way. Four years of relationship, ended just like that. Jake really thought that she would be his forever. Well, he thought wrong. Maybe itâs time for him to focus on himself. He had been focusing on others for too long. He deserved his own peaceful time.Â
âAh, right. We heard that y/n got into your dadâs company as his secretary.âÂ
Sunghoonâs words interrupted Jake from his own thoughts. Jakeâs brows frowned at the sudden mention of your name.Â
âYeah, why?âÂ
Jay who was silent suddenly sat up straight on his chair and looked at Jake.Â
âReally?! Y/n is working with your dad? The y/n?âÂ
Jake nodded his head slowly.Â
âYeah. Itâs almost a month now if Iâm not mistaken.âÂ
Jay let out a relief sigh before patting Jakeâs shoulder.Â
âThatâs nice. You get to work with the one you admired before.âÂ
Right. You were the woman that he admired up until the end of high school. After both of you graduated, you and Jake parted ways, following your own dream. Itâs not like both of you had special connections anyway. The interactions that you had with him were not enough for both of you to be considered as a friend.Â
But now that Jay and Sunghoon mentioned about it, Jake was reminded of the first day you stepped into the company.Â
He would never admit in front of his friends that he actually got excited when he saw you walking into the office. It had been so long since he last saw you.Â
You looked more mature than when you were in high school. The outfit that you had on was professional, yet it made you look beautiful. As beautiful as Jake remembered.Â
You might slowly lose your teenage features, but you still managed to turn Jakeâs head effortlessly â just like when both of you were in high school.Â
âÂ
Three months after the proposal and a day after the wedding ceremony, you found yourself entering an unfamiliar house â Jakeâs house. It's official. You are now Mrs. Sim Y/n.Â
You look around the living room. You did not expect his house to look neat and cozy at the same time. With all the furniture being white in colour, it made the interior looks more spacious than it already is.Â
You never thought of him as a guy who would pay much attention to the interior. He looked like the type of guy that might hire any designer and let them do their magic. Â
"Having fun?"Â
You whip your head to the voice behind you. There he is, standing in all his glory, your - now - husband.Â
"You have good eyes."Â
Your compliment makes Jake's lips curl up into a smile. A smile that you used to see since high school.Â
"Thanks."Â
He walks towards you. Before you could do anything, his hand reaches for yours and he bring it up to his face, enough to look at the ring on your finger.Â
He looks at how it sparkles with a small smile before kissing it softly, a small gasp escapes your lips but not enough to reach Jake's ears.Â
âThank you for marrying me, y/n,â he said sincerely.Â
Your heart soften at his words. Unconsciously, you rub his hand that is holding yours since earlier.Â
âItâs nothing. Besides, it will only be for a while, right?âÂ
Jake just hums softly at your words. Of course, he didnât forget about it. Heck, he was the one who came up with all of these. Contract marriage â and it will last up until he got his title as the CEO.Â
"Just so you know y/n, although it is only for a while, I will still perform my duty as your husband until the end of it."Â
You look into Jake's eyes, trying to see if there is any hidden agenda. But all you can see is honesty and sincerity.Â
Jake is known as a man of his words. He is not someone who would turn away from his promise, let alone lying. Heck, he doesn't even know how to lie.Â
You've seen his attempts to lie during high school and it always ended with him stuttering and his cheeks slowly turning crimson. His lips jutted out into a cute pout, resembling a puppy sulking.Â
Everyone was telling you that âyou're so lucky to have him as your husbandâ, not knowing that this marriage has its own expiry date. Sooner or later, both of you will put this into an end. You know that.Â
And yet, you can't help but feel a little tug on your heart when Jake said the last few words.Â
Refused to let your emotion to get the best of you, you flash him a small smile.Â
"I will do my best as Mrs. Sim as well while it last."Â
Ever since then, Jake and you have done nothing but keep your words.Â
Every morning before going to work, you would prepare him breakfast and eat together with him. Then, both of you would go to the office together. When both of you are done with your job, he would wait for you in the car to go back home together.Â
After youâre done with your shower, you would prepare dinner while waiting for Jake to finish washing up. Then, both of you would sit together and have dinner while having a small talk in between.Â
During the weekends, Jake will ask you if you have any plans. Sometimes you would tell him that you want to go out, sometimes you just want to stay at home.Â
If you chose to go out, he would go with you, spending his time and money for you the entire day. Not gonna lie, you've made countless attempts to pay for yourself. But Jake will always be two steps ahead from you. Guess it's the perks of marrying the Sim Jaeyun.
If you decided to stay at home, he would be there as well. Sometimes he would help you cooking â or more like purposely disturbing you. When you are reading a book, he would join you with cup of teas in hand.Â
Before you know it, you and Jake have become closer and more comfortable with each other. What used to be only standing side-by-side turns into walking together while holding hands. During grocery shopping, he would stand behind you and push the trolley together with you in front of him while walking through aisle by aisle. When you are watching a movie in the living room, he would lay his head on your lap and ask for your attention â just like a puppy would.Â
Everyone with eyes is envious of your relationship. Both of you totally looks like a happy couple. Itâs as if the world belongs to both of you, and only to both of you.Â
Honestly, you would say the same thing to yourself as well. Jake had been nothing but a loving caring husband. He takes good care of you, always be there for you. Heâs really the man of his words.Â
However, there are times where he can be an annoying ass. Such as right now.Â
You are putting on your make up to go out with him and heâs just⌠there, staring at you since God knows when. It was something that he would do every single time youâre getting ready be it to go to the mall or to the office. As you are finishing your touch on your blush, you let out a soft sigh and turn your head to him.Â
âYes, is there anything I can help you with, Mr. Sim?âÂ
Jake just shakes his head lightly. His lips curl up into a small smirk.Â
âNothing. Just admiring my beautiful wife.âÂ
There he goes again, teasing you. These past few weeks, he had been calling you names and giving you compliments. And he would say it with affections. Every time he did that, your heart beat for him.Â
God, am I in love with this man?Â
You roll your eyes, trying to hide the fact that he made you shy. Thanks to your blush as well that he wonât notice that your cheeks turn red because of him.Â
âEnough with that, Jake. Letâs go. Weâll be late.âÂ
Jake bites his lower lips to avoid grinning too widely. Obviously, he knows how he makes you feel. You are not the only one who have been watching him since high school. He also did the same to you. Probably a tad bit more than you did â and you donât need to know that.Â
So, he would know how you look when youâre happy and upset. He knows the difference between your real and fake smile. He knows about it.Â
He might not say it out loud but ever since he told you he would do his part as your husband; he didnât think it will be this far. At first, he thought he would just provide for you and thatâs it.Â
But he was wrong. The more he spends his time with you, the more he knows the real you. The more he talks to you, the more he craves for your affection. He used to sleep on his side the first few days after marriage. Now, he canât imagine not having you in his arms at night. He might not even be able to sleep if you were not there for him to hug.Â
He knew it would be easy to get married to you. You wonât cause him troubles. You wonât stress him out. You know how to take care of yourself. You know how to do things on your own.
But he didnât expect that it would be this easy for him to be himself around you. He didnât know it would be easy for him to accept you into his new life. Most importantly, he didnât know that he could love again like how he used to.Â
Actually, scratch that. He loves you more than he used to love anyone in his life. That speaks volume. If Jay and Sunghoon are here, they would give him the âI told you soâ look.Â
I love y/n. I really love this woman with all my heart.Â
âY/n?âÂ
You and Jake were walking with your arm around his when suddenly a voice called out for you. You turn to your back, and your jaw dropped instantly at your sight. Without second thought, you let go of your husband and run towards the person.Â
âSunoo! What are you doing here?âÂ
You pulled Sunoo into a hug, and he reciprocates by wrapping his arms around your waist. Your husbandâs eyes widened at the sight.Â
Did she forget she has a husband?! Jake thought to himself.Â
You released Sunoo from the hug so that he can reply to you better.Â
âI was just walking around. Didnât expect you to be here as well.âÂ
You nod your head at him. After a few seconds, you turn to Jake and call him using your hand gesture.Â
Jake walks beside you. His eyes shooting hole into Sunooâs face as his jaw tighten.Â
âI know youâve met him before, but this is Jake, my husband.âÂ
You introduced the man to Sunoo and lands your head against your husbandâs shoulder, completely oblivious at how pissed Jake looked right now.Â
Unlike you, Sunoo as a man, can see how jealous the man in front of him is. I mean, which husband wonât be jealous when his wife hugs another guy right in front of his face. Smiling to himself, Sunoo politely held out his hand towards Jake.Â
âHey, we met at the wedding but Iâm Sunoo, y/nâs friend.âÂ
Jake didnât say anything but shakes Sunooâs hand, for the sake of you. He pulls his hand away almost instantly, making the other manâs lips curl into a small smirk.Â
âWell, Iâll leave you two lovebirds behind. Donât want to interrupt the date. See you when I see you, y/n.âÂ
Sunoo pats your arm and give Jake a courtesy nod before walking away, leaving you together with your husband.Â
You were about to say something when Jake beat you to it.Â
âIs it fun being friendly with another guy in front of your husbandâs face?âÂ
You blink your eyes at the sudden burst of jealousy from Jake. You study his face properly. His cheeks are red as a result of him trying to hold back his anger. His lips forming a pout, the same one that youâve witnessed since high school.Â
Jake looks so adorable right now that he makes you snort lightly.Â
âOh? Is my husband jealous?âÂ
Jake squints his eyes at you before turning his head away.Â
âAny husband would hate to see his wife being all over a guy other than him.âÂ
He is jealous, you thought to yourself. You were about to console him, but before you could say anything, Jake decided to walk ahead of you, purposely leaving you as a sign of protest.Â
His action makes you scoff. Despite his height being taller than you and not to mention his status higher than you, he still acts like a kid. You shake your head before chasing after him.Â
âWhere are you going~â you asked him teasingly.Â
âAway from you.âÂ
You let out a soft âoohâ before continuing to chase after him. When you are within the reach, you hold his hand, stopping him from his track. Although his body is facing you, his head is still facing the other side.Â
You bring his hand to your lips and leave a soft kiss against his knuckle. You can feel him stiffen at your sudden action, but he still refuses to face you. You let out a soft sigh before your lips curl up into a smile.Â
Itâs usually the husband you have to persuade his wife, but now, itâs the other way around â and you are not complaining about it.Â
âYou donât have to worry about it, Jake. Iâm not his type.âÂ
Your words manage to make Jake faces you. His brows that were frowning earlier become deeper as he heard your sentences.Â
âWhy? You are beautiful. You are nice. Anyone would want you. How can you not be his ideal type? Does he think that heâs better than y-âÂ
Jakeâs mouth was stopped by your finger against it. If only heâs not upset with you, he might as well kiss it. But his ego got the best of him, so he just stands there silently.Â
âItâs not like that. What I mean to say is⌠women are not his type.âÂ
Your husband nods his head when you explain-Â
âWait. So, Sunoo isâŚâÂ
He doesnât need to complete his sentence when youâre already nodding your head, knowing what he was about to ask. Unconsciously, Jake let out a loud sigh of relief. He thought that someone was about to sweep you off your feet. Â
Well, even if Sunoo did, he knows he will make sure to bring you back into his arms one way or another.Â
Jake looks at you who is now smiling innocently at him.Â
Fuck, how can she look so adorable.Â
Refused to back down, he clears his throat and pinch your nose lightly, making sure it wonât hurt you. You scrunch your nose at him. You were about to pinch his cheek as a revenge, but he managed to stop your hand.Â
He then leans his face close to yours.Â
âBut I still donât like how you left and hug him in front of me. Donât do that again, alright.âÂ
Your lips form a pout, but you nod obediently at his words. Of course, you should know that no matter how close you are with your guy friends, you must remember that you have a husband to take care of.Â
âOkay. Iâm sorry for leaving you and hug him like that.âÂ
Jakeâs lips curl up into a smile, hearing your apologies. He takes your hand that was in his earlier and kiss it lovingly. Your eyes turn to the other side, an attempt to hide away your shyness. Jake just chuckles lightly at your actions before planting another kiss on top of your head.Â
âShall we get going now?âÂ
âÂ
Two months later, you and Jake are attending the companyâs annual gala night. However, this gala night is special because it is also the night that Mr. Sim, your father-in-law, will pass down the responsibilities as CEO to his son.Â
Although you are excited for Jake, you canât seem to throw away the thoughts that your marriage will come to an end. Yes, both you and Jake are happy with each other. Happier than you had been in your life. But it still doesnât change the fact that he got married to you just so he could gain the title as his dadâs successor.Â
A tap on your shoulder wakes you up from your thoughts. You look to your side, just to see your husband tilting his head slightly.Â
âWhat is this? Are you thinking about other man than me?âÂ
He squints his eyes at you like how he would usually do. You hiss at him and hit his shoulder lightly.Â
âWhy should I think about other people, when my husband is with me?âÂ
You wrap your arm around his as your other hand rub against the spot that you hit earlier gently. Jake smiles softly at you before pecking your forehead softly, making sure not to ruin your make up and hairdo.Â
You and Jake continue to greet the guests. From time to time, you would join in their conversation but mostly you let Jake do the talking.Â
Suddenly, the hall light shuts down and a spotlight shine at the centre of the stage. There, stand Mr. Sim on the podium, getting ready to deliver his speech. Everyoneâs attention diverts to the man.Â
He clears his throat and run his eyes across the hall.Â
âGood evening to everyone. I would like to thank all of you for your time tonight. I believe we already know the purpose of tonight considering that we did this every year.âÂ
Everyone including you laugh at Mr. Simâs greetings.Â
âAs mentioned, we held the gala night annually without fail. Personally, itâs a way for me to appreciate everyoneâs effort in making this business grow bigger each year.âÂ
The hall is filled with claps.Â
âBut tonight is different than before. Unlike the previous gala night, we are not only here to have fun. It is also the night where I will make an important announcement that will change the company into a better one.âÂ
You look to your side, just to see that Jake is fidgeting and gulping nervously. You smile to yourself before leaning to his ear.Â
âYou will be fine, Jake. Iâm here with you.âÂ
Jake turns to look at you, who is already smiling at him. Just like that, he can feel his anxiousness slowly tone down. Itâs funny how before this Jake is so opposed to getting married just for the title.Â
Now, he understands why his dad said what he said to him before. True to his words, behind every successful man, thereâs his wife. Jake never thought that he will see the day where thereâs a woman behind him.Â
But with you supporting him directly, he believes that he can go through all the challenges and difficulties that he will face in the future. No matter how hard it is, heâs willing to go through it as long as you are with him. Â
Just like that, from this moment, Jake vow to himself that he will never, ever, let you go.Â
âLadies and gentlemen. Without further ado, I present to you, the Simâs new successor, Sim Jaeyun.âÂ
The sound of claps filled the hall once again for the night. A spotlight pointed to Jake. He looks around the hall with a proud smile and bow his head politely. Before he walks up the stage, he turns towards you and hold your hands. Without second thought, he brings your hands and place a long kiss against it, making everyone looks at both of you with awe.Â
You nudge your hand lightly against his lips, making him look up at your crimson red face.Â
âFaster go,â you mouthed at him. He grins widely at you and flash you a wink before letting go of your hands and walks up onto the stage.Â
You just watch the view in front of you with a proud smile. Your husband is hugging your father-in-law so tightly. He is so proud of his own son, just like how he is proud with Jakeâs older brother when he saw how successful he had become.Â
âCongratulations Mrs. Sim for your achievement.âÂ
A voice said beside you, making your head turn to the owner. Turns out the owner of the voice belongs to Sunghoon as he stands next to you.Â
âYou must be so proud of him.âÂ
Another voice said on your other side, and you know it belongs to Jay. You just shake your head lightly at both of their remarks.Â
âOf course Iâm proud of him. But I didnât do anything for you to congratulate me.âÂ
Jay looks at you for a short while before turning back to the stage. Both of his hands are in his pocket as he watches Jake giving his thank you speech.Â
âNo, you deserve the wish as well. In fact, we must thank you for everything that youâve done for Jake.âÂ
You frown slightly at Jayâs words. You donât quite understand what he meant by that. But, as you were about to ask, Sunghoon cut you off.Â
âYeah, heâs a better man now, because of you.âÂ
Despite your confusion, both of the menâs words still manage to soften your heart. Before you know it, tears escaped your cheeks. That was the nicest thing someone has ever tell you. You didnât know that you needed until tonight.Â
Being recognized by Jakeâs best friend just hit a certain spot in you. You made a mental note to ask about it later. But for now, you decide to focus on the manâs speech.Â
â⌠And to my wife, know that I will not be able to do this without you. You have been nothing but my strength and my support. You were there through ups and downs. I thank you so much. You are my woman and will always be my woman.âÂ
Everyone howls at Jakeâs words and the two men besides you whistle proudly. You just shake your head while letting out a chuckle and clap your hands. Jake is so silly. Your husband is so silly â and you will never ask for anything better than this.Â
After the end of the speech, you and Jake continue to talk to the guests with his arm circling around your waist the entire time. They all congratulate both of you for Jakeâs achievements in becoming the new CEO. It is safe to say that the night went smoothly.Â
But nothing in this world is perfect, right?Â
âCongratulations, Jake.âÂ
There, standing in front of you, a beautiful, mesmerizing woman in a gorgeous emerald green dress. She looks so breathtakingly beautiful to the point that your jaw drops slightly at her presence.Â
Unlike you, Jakeâs smile falls upon seeing her. He clenches his jaw and tighten his grips against your waist. He forgot that her parents were invited to the gala by his dad. So naturally, she would be here as well.Â
âThanks, Yunjin.âÂ
The womanâs smile widens at the way Jake called her name. Her eyes then shift to you, who is still lost in her beauty. Yunjin let out a chuckle.Â
âHi, my name is Yunjin, Jakeâs friend.âÂ
Bullshit, he thought.Â
You blink your eyes for a few seconds, trying to wake up from your own daze.Â
âAh, I see. Iâm y/n, Jakeâs wife. He never mentions that he has such a beautiful friend as you.âÂ
Yunjin looks at Jake for a few moments before letting out another chuckle. Her cheeks are now a bit red from your compliment.Â
Her laugh also sounds beautiful like her, you thought to yourself.Â
âPlease don't say that. You are more beautiful, y/n. Besides, itâs been so long since we last met each other as well,â she said before her eyes fall upon Jake once again for the night, just to see that Jake is already looking at her.Â
Your eyes turn to look at Jake and Yunjin back and forth. Jake is staring at her with an expression that you donât quite understand, while Yunjin is looking at him softly, exactly like a woman missing her partner.Â
Thatâs when it clicked in your head. Youâve heard that Jake had a girlfriend the first day you joined the company. If your guess is right, Yunjin is his ex-girlfriend. Saying that she is just a friend is a way of her being considerate of your feelings.Â
You donât know what happened, but deep inside, you know that there are some unfinished businesses. You felt it through the tension that is slowly building up between them. Not even the sharpest knife can cut through it.Â
Before you know it, your gaze drops to the floor. Clearly, you are upset with the situation. But who are you to say anything. They had their own past. It was all just an old story. It was his past.Â
Thatâs what you keep telling yourself.Â
âWell, I better get going. You guys must have a lot of things to do.âÂ
Yunjinâs words manage to pull you into reality.Â
âSee you around, y/n.âÂ
You try your best to smile sincerely, doing your best to show that none of these are affecting you.Â
âSee you around, Yunjin.âÂ
With the same previous smile on her face, she nods her head at you before once again turning to face Jake.Â
âJake.âÂ
She called out his name, but the only thing he did was nods his head towards her as his eyes turns somewhere else, refusing to meet her eyes.Â
Yunjin then walks away from you. You didnât know how long it had been but the sigh that you let out indicating that youâve been holding your breath for quite a while now. Your heart beats so loud as if itâs about to jump out of your body.Â
You swallow your saliva to calm yourself down before excusing yourself from your husband, saying that you need to go to the washroom.Â
Just like that, Jake is left alone in the middle of the hall. He frowns at the situation. Fuck, he said to himself. He should have handled it better.Â
Jake knows that you are upset. Going to the washroom was just a way for you to walk away from the previous commotion. As if meeting his ex-girlfriend is not the worse part of the night, his best friend came to him, probably to lecture him.Â
âWhat happened, Jake,â the older one asked.Â
Jake bites his lower lips.Â
âShe came and greet usâŚâÂ
âAnd?â Sunghoon encouraged Jake to continue his words.Â
âAnd I didnât know how to react to it. I thought that if I said something, I might⌠I mightâŚâÂ
I might lose control and y/n might hate me for it, Jake continued inside his mind.Â
Jay drapes his arm around Jakeâs shoulder, pulling him into a side hug in hopes it can at least comfort him after what just happened.Â
The guys know that itâs not easy for Jake to communicate with his ex, considering that they had a good time together just for it to end all of a sudden. But they canât also invalid your feelings.
As a wife, they knew you must have figured out that they had something going on back then. Itâs understandable that you would be upset over it even though it already ended long time ago.Â
âI donât know whatâs going on between you and Yunjin, but I want you to remember that you have y/n now. One thing I can see from her is that sheâs loyal and sincere. Sheâs a woman, your wife. Whatever you want to do, consider her feelings as well.âÂ
Jake nods his head at Sunghoonâs words. He inhales deeply and exhale, trying to calm himself down. He puffs out his cheeks as he collects his inner thoughts.Â
âDo you think I can be a good husband to y/n?âÂ
Jay and Sunghoon steal a glance to each other before their lips curl up into a smirk.Â
âItâs up to you, man. But I think you have always been waiting for her. Ever since high school, youâve wait for her. Now that sheâs in front of you, why not grab your chance?âÂ
Jake looks up at Jay as the older one encouraged him to move forward. Jay nods his head at Jake.Â
âAnd a little birdie told me that she is also waiting for you at the balcony just outside of the hall,â Sunghoon said as he pointed the place with his face to Jake.Â
Jake scoffs at himself. He canât believe he is down bad for you. The fact that his best friends had been his witnesses made him feel even more dumb than he already is. He then pulls both Jay and Sunghoon into a hug.Â
They hug the man back and their hug last for quite a while. It was at this moment that reminds Jake once again just how important Sunghoon and Jay are in his life. His ride or die. The one who would be there to give him facts, no matter how hurtful it is. The one who would give motivations for him whenever he needs it. And he would gladly do the same to them as well.Â
Jake let go of his friends. With a deep breath, he walks towards the balcony where you are leaning against railing.Â
Although your back is facing him, he canât deny the fact that you look glowing in your white dress. The way your head tilted slightly to the sky, allowing the moon to shine its light to you. You look better than his dreams.Â
With careful steps, he walks towards you.Â
âWhat are you thinking, princess?âÂ
You turn your head slightly at the voice, before facing forwards again.Â
âNothing important.âÂ
âThen, why do you look like a damsel in distress, my lady?âÂ
The closeness of his voice startled you. You didnât realize when it happened, but his arms are already on your side, trapping you against the balcony. Slowly, you turn your back towards him. Your eyes move from down and up to his face.Â
Youâve always thought Jake as a handsome man. But right now, he looks even better than before. His face is so close that you can see the length of his eyelashes. His nose that would occasionally bump into your head and cheeks as he leaves pecks here and there. His lips⌠the same lips that would kiss you everywhere but your lips.Â
The last time you felt it against yours was when you were pronounced as husband and wife. It was a short one, but you can still feel it tingling against yours. You would do anything just to feel that lips once again.Â
However, you know you canât. Not when he was about to divorce you right here, right now. Mustering your courage, you look into his eyes. Although your tears are threatening to escape, youâre trying your best to hold it in by burying your nails into your hand.Â
âJake, congratulations. Youâre finally where you want to be now. Youâve been working so hard to prove that youâre worth it. Now, you got it.âÂ
Jakeâs eyes soften at your words and his grip weakens. You sniff before continuing your words.Â
âThank you for being a husband for me. A real one at that. I didnât know anyone would do anything for me aside from my parents. There is not a single moment where I regret having you as my husband. Thank you for everything that you did for me. I will cherish all the memories until the end of my life.âÂ
As you finished your sentence, the tears that youâve been holding back finally roll down your cheeks. You have said everything that you want to say. Whatever happens after this, you will accept it with all your heart. When Jake decides to stop everything with you, you will have to be ready to let him go.
Jakeâs hands move up to cup your face. You close your eyes at what about to happen.Â
Do it. Iâll be fine. I can take it.Â
You can feel his thumbs brushes your tears away, but then you feel his lips against your forehead. You open your eyes and look up at him, just to see him looking at you with a loving smile. His tears run down his cheeks, mirroring yours. Jake takes a deep breath. He then looks at you again with the same smile.Â
âLetâs end this.âÂ
He said it. He finally said it. The words that you were waiting to hear from him. He said it. You thought that you could handle it, but your reaction proves you wrong.Â
You burst into crying in his hands. Every emotion that youâve been holding back are showing itself. You are not okay. You will never be okay. Call you selfish, but you want to be with him always and forever. You need Jake, even if he didnât need you.Â
Or so you thought.Â
âLetâs stop pretending, and love each other for real.âÂ
His words managed to make you look at him with your eyes widened. The expression of your face clearly shows Jake that it was not what you expected to hear tonight. You thought that he would divorce you. After he got the position as CEO, he would put this to an end. Thatâs how it should be.Â
You try to breath properly. Looking at how difficult it is for you to calm down, he moves one of his hands and rubs your back while his other hand caressing your cheeks softly. Jake inhale and exhale along with you, in hopes for you to follow his breathing pattern.Â
When youâve finally calm down, you blink your tears away from your eyes, trying to see Jake in a clear view.Â
âBut you told me that you would end this marriage after you get the title.âÂ
Jake looks at you for a few seconds before letting out a soft laugh. He didnât miss the pout that is forming on your face, making you look like a little girl crying for her lollipop. He shakes his head.Â
âI may have implied that, and Iâm so sorry.âÂ
Your eyes never leave Jake as you wait for him to continue his words.Â
âI thought that whatever we had between us will merely be another fleeting moment. But the more Iâm with you, the greedier I became. What started of as pretending, I want it to be real. All of the moments that I had with you was everything I could imagine. Hell, it was better than my imaginations. You made it so easy to be with you. To cherish you. To care for you. Before I knew it, I want you all to myself.âÂ
Jakeâs arm that was on your back quickly circles your waist, pulling you close to his body. Slowly, he leans to your face, just enough for his lips to brush against yours.Â
âYou are my lady. You are my woman. You are my wife. You are mine, and Iâm not letting you go, ever.âÂ
You gasp at his words. You canât think straight after what you just heard. Who knows a guy like Jake can also be this romantic towards someone. Even more towards you. You, who just happened to study in the same school and work in the same place as he is. There are thousands of women he could go for, and yet he chose to settle down with you. At this point, you can die happily. Â
âSo, what do you say, Mrs. Sim? Are you in for it, or you want to run away? But just so you know, I will chase you to the end of the world if you choose the latter.âÂ
Your eyes search for his, just to see that heâs already gazing at you with sincerity, passion, and a hint of something youâve never seen before. The guy that youâve been watching and only watching are in front of you with his arm clinging onto your waist protectively.Â
You know that if you try to say anything, your voice will betray you. So, you opt for the easier choice â nodding your head, indicating that youâre saying yes to him.Â
The corner of Jakeâs lips curls up into a small smirk before he claims your lips with his. After holding back for so long, he finally has you in his arms as his one and only. Good things always come to those who wait. Jake might have to study more about the philosophies considering that it had been proven real to him.Â
The kiss that both of you shares are filled with a lot of passion and affections. All the restrains that you and Jake put onto yourself are now broken. His hands are now rubbing on your side as he turns his head to the other side, deepening the kiss. You let Jake lead the kiss as you circle your arms around his neck to prevent you from falling.Â
You are not surprised that his kiss will make you weak at your knees. You have always known he would be a good kisser. But you didnât expect that he will kiss you as if his life depends on it.Â
A moan escapes from you when Jake purposely bites your lower lips. Both of you pull away slightly to take a breath. Looking at Jakeâs expression, you finally understand the meaning behind his gaze earlier.Â
As for Jake, he is staring at you. You look more beautiful than you already are with your lips slightly swollen because of him â and he takes pride in it. He was planning to tease you when he bit you earlier. He didnât know that you would make a sound that could awakened something in him. He knew that he wonât be able to take it if he didnât control himself, so he put your kiss into a halt.Â
Jake brushes his nose gently against yours, making you look up to him. His hand moves up to caress your cheek once again.Â
âAll the time spent of me looking at you from afar back in school, I knew itâs going to be worth it.âÂ
Your cheeks turn bright red at his words, but it didnât fail to make you frown in confusion.Â
âLooking at me? You were looking at me the whole time?! I thought I was the one doing that to you?âÂ
Jake chuckles at your words before placing a soft peck against your nose.Â
âYou werenât the only one who have great eyes.âÂ
He winks at you, making you laugh along with him. You didnât know that he was doing the same thing that you did to him. Maybe you are fated for him, just like he thought when he met you for the first time.Â
âI love you, Mrs. Sim Y/n.âÂ
âI love you too, Mr. Sim Jaeyun.âÂ
Both of you stay in silent, just admiring each other before Jake decided to break it.Â
âSo, shall we go and continue this somewhere else? I donât think I can hold myself longer.âÂ
Your jaw dropped at his words before hitting his chest. He winces in pain and rubs the spot before turning to you and steals a kiss on your lips. He then picks you up bridal style and bring you back home, where you will be spending time with him all night long, skin-to-skin.Â
âÂ
It had been months since Jake was announced as the new CEO of the infamous Simâs company. The business starts to grow even more. A lot of international clients are interested to work alongside with Jake. He is compatible, responsible, and most importantly, he knows what he wants, and he knows he will get it.Â
But of course, you were there with him the whole time. Ever since you and Jake confessed to each other, both of you are becoming more and more clingy and loving towards each other. Nevertheless, you know the difference between professionalism and personal, considering that you are now working as your husbandâs secretary.Â
You tried to deny his offer a lot of times before, saying that it will be a talk of the office if she becomes his secretary. But knowing Jake, he wants to make sure that you are with him all the time. Well, he wishes for you to be with him every time.Â
Until he has a business trip to attend to.Â
âAre you sure you donât want to follow me? You can rest there,â Jake tried to persuade you for the nth times to follow him to the trip. His lips keep on placing kisses to yours with his arms around your waist, an attempt to melt your down.Â
âBut you will be working, my love. I donât want to go anywhere without you. It will feel incomplete without you by my side.âÂ
Jake groans softly at your words, but he canât deny it as well. You are telling the truth. He will be working all day and will only come back at night. If he were at your shoes, he would refuse to go as well. Whatâs the point of going on a trip with your spouse if you canât spend time together properly.Â
But it doesnât change the fact that Jake is still sad, thinking about not having you with him for three days straight. Naturally, a pout forms on his face, showing that heâs still upset.Â
You let out a soft sigh as you look at your husband. You then stand on your toe and kiss his pout away.Â
âLetâs put it this way â the sooner you take off, the sooner you will be back with me. Does that sound better to you?âÂ
Jake just nods his head obediently, once again resembling a puppy. He then pulls you into a tight hug.Â
âI love you, Mrs. Sim. Remember that, okay?âÂ
The corner of your lips curls up into a smile as your rub your husbandâs back up and down.Â
âI love you too, Mr. Sim. Always and forever.âÂ
Both of you let go of each other, yet your hands are still intertwined with one another. The sight makes you chuckle a bit.Â
âYou need to go. Donât want you to miss the flight.âÂ
Jake nods his head once again. After leaving kisses on your head, down to your forehead, eyes, nose and lips, he finally walks into the gate, waving his hand at you. You wave back to him with a reassuring smile on your face.Â
Once he is gone from your sight, you start to miss his presence. This is the first time you had to separate with him ever since your marriage. He was always there with you, whether to comfort you, love you, or even annoy the hell out of you.Â
But as his wife, you know he needs your full support for him to move forward and bringing you along with him on this journey. You need to be in your optimum energy to help him achieve his dreams.Â
That is why you are currently in the bakery nearby your house. You canât be energetic if you are hungry. You were scanning through all of the options when someone called your name from behind.Â
âY/n?âÂ
You turn to the owner of the voice, just to see Yunjin, looking effortlessly beautiful like she always does.Â
âI never thought I would bump into you here. Are you alone?âÂ
Her question bothers you a bit, not going to lie. But you remind yourself that it was all in the past. Jake is yours, and only yours.Â
With a genuine smile, you look up at her. âYeah. Jake is on a trip for a few days. Iâm just running a quick errand.âÂ
Yunjin nods her head at you. Her eyes soften at the sight of you.Â
âJake is so lucky to have a wife like you. So beautiful yet so diligent.âÂ
You look down at Yunjinâs sudden compliments. Your cheeks are slowly turning into crimson red. It makes it impossible for Yunjin not to find you adorable.Â
âAh, how about we hang out whenever we have time. Hereâs my number.âÂ
Yunjin holds out her business card. You look at it. Huh Yunjin, the owner of YJ Fashion House. You knew Yunjin is an amazing woman, and her status just increase her level in your head. You take the card and keep it safely in your bag.Â
âSure. Thank you for the offer Yunjin.âÂ
She just nods her head to you. As you were about to bid her goodbye, she put you into a halt.Â
âOh also, can we take a picture together? Iâve been dying to have one with you ever since we met that day.âÂ
Your eyes twinkles at the thought of a brilliant woman such as Yunjin, wanting to take pictures with you, who are just merely a secretary to your husband. You then nod your head at her, giving her your approval.Â
She grins widely, showing how happy she is. Using her phone, she flips the camera so that you and Yunjin can take a few selfies.Â
âI will send the pictures to you later. It was nice meeting you again, y/n.âÂ
âIt was nice meeting you as well, Yunjin.âÂ
Just like that, both of you part your ways to your own destinations, not knowing that a storm will be coming your way soon.Â
âÂ
After three full days of dealing with works, Jake finally returns to your arms during the weekends. At first, Jake insists to bring you out. But you donât want him to force himself as he needs rest.Â
So, during the weekends, you decided to just stay inside and pamper Jake to the fullest. Of course, being the clingy needy husband he is, he don't mind it at all. For two days straight you pay attention to him and only him, and he did the same to you.Â
No talking about work. Just small talks from time to time. Most of the time though you spend your time with Jake snuggling and cuddling you. You love the fact that he is not afraid to show his vulnerable side to you. He may look like he got it together in front of people, but with you, heâs still a kid stuck in a grown-up body.Â
But of course, that doesnât last longer. There are times when he wants more than just be close to you â and he did just that. You donât know how you can handle it considering that his drives are quite high.
Just like that, the weekends passed by quickly and you are back to being his secretary once again. As usual, you would inform his schedule and relay messages that you received on behalf of Jake while he was away. The files that are in need of his actions had been laid out neatly on his table.Â
âCan I get you anything, Mr. Sim?â You asked after youâve finished conveying everything that he needs to know.Â
Jake hums softly. âCan you tell Mrs. Sim that she looks ravishing today?âÂ
You roll your eyes at his remarks as he flashes an innocent smile at you.Â
âI will let her know, Mr. Sim. If thereâs nothing, I will make my way.âÂ
You bow your head respectfully before sending him a playful wink and walk out of his office. Â
Jake being Jake decides to follow you â specifically your butt â with his eyes until you are out of his sight. This have happened countless times before. If he ignores the professionalism between both of you, he knows he would have you in his office any time he wanted.Â
Without wasting any more time, Jakeâs hands move across the files and papers on his tray. He lets out a soft sigh looking at the amount of works that he needs to review. Well, he did ask for it so he canât say anything about it.Â
But what really catches his attention is a brown envelope, sealed perfectly. The only thing written on the envelope is Jakeâs name. He takes the envelope and turn it. There, he could see the word âprivate and confidentialâ.Â
He tilts his head to the side. He doesnât recall any agreements that he needs to sign that is confidential. With a shrug of his shoulder, he unseals the envelope. He inserts his hand into it and take out what seems to be pictures.Â
His curiosity changed into anger as fast as lightning at the view in front of him. His eyes are brimming with tears, threaten to fall. With shaking hands, he pressed the intercom and called you into his office.Â
He doesnât sound good. Youâve known him long enough to know that he is upset just by his voice through the speaker. Without a second thought, you knock on his door and enter his office when he approves of you.Â
You look at his state with a frown. His face is hidden behind his arms that was connected as he clasps his hand together. If you could make a guess, you would say that he looks miserable. You were about to ask him, but he decided to speak up first.Â
âWhat were you doing when I wasnât around?âÂ
Your frown grows deeper at his question.Â
âI was at the office in the morning and went back home in the evening. I didnât go anywhere except for grocery stores to buy a few stuffs for our home.âÂ
Jake scoffs at your last two words. Our home.Â
âOur home, where you were fucking someone else in our bed?âÂ
Your jaws dropped at his words. This is unfair. Did he really think that low of you? That you would simply having fun with other guys when heâs not around? This is ridiculous.Â
One thing you canât stand is when people falsely blaming you on something that you didnât do. Slowly, you can feel yourself getting fired up.Â
"You, out of people, accused me of cheating on you?"Â
Jake lifts his head up to look at you. His eyes are red from all the crying that he did before you stepped into the office.Â
"Well, explain these then?"Â
Jake threw the pictures in his hands on the table. You bend down to get a better view of it. In those pictures, it was you and a man, tangled to one another in various positions.Â
Your eyes widened at the images in front of you. You knew it wasn't you. Although it was your face in there, but you didn't do all of that. You would never betray the trust of the man in front of you. You didnât even think of betraying him in the first place.Â
But how, how can the woman in the picture looks a lot like you, when you know you have never slept with any man other than him.Â
"I don't know about this Jake, but I swear I have never done all of these. Please, believe me."Â
Your eyes are glistening with tears as you look at him, begging for him to trust you.Â
But you know it was no use. The way he looks at you is no longer like how he used to. It was filled with love and affection ever since the day both of you said, 'I do'. Â
Now, it was as if whatever he felt for you has vanished. The only emotion that he could feel is numbness and emptiness. He thought that you would be different than others. Turns out you're just the same.Â
You're just another woman, staying by his side just for the benefits.Â
Without saying anything, Jake grabs his blazer and walks out of the office, leaving you standing in the room, crying your heart out.Â
This isn't what you imagined how it's going to be. You thought everything would be fine the moment Jake kissed you that day. That you would finally experience your first and true love.Â
You didn't expect for all of these to happen. Your mind suddenly drifts off to the night of the gala. Were you and Jake not supposed to have your happy ending? If only one of you end this marriage like how it should, would any of this still happened?Â
Right, this all happened because of you. You selfishly want to be in this marriage despite knowing that it has to come to an end. You have no one to blame but yourself.Â
You thought that you finally had him for yourself. The man that you have always been attracted to. The man that never fails to make your heart feels full. You were stupid enough to believe that.Â
As you are left alone in the office, you thought to yourself, âI shouldâve let my fairytale remain as a fairytale'.Â
âÂ
âHuh, itâs surprising to see that you are not drunk. Guess you really changed.âÂ
Jayâs disclaimer receives a glare from Jake. His expression clearly shows that he is not in the mood for jokes or anything stupid.Â
âAnd what do you mean by that?âÂ
âWhen you broke up last time, you almost got into a fight with me,â Sunghoon answered on behalf of Jay.Â
Jake turns to Sunghoon before letting out a scoff.Â
âIn my defence, you started it.âÂ
Sunghoon raise one of his brows. He decides to ignore the remarks to avoid any arguments... again. He raises his glass to his lips and drink from it.Â
âSo, what is it this time?âÂ
Jake sigh at Jayâs question. He contemplates whether to tell his friends the truth or not. His friends on the other hand, knows him too well.Â
Despite getting hurt or betrayed, Jake had always been selective in giving out details about his personal life. For him, itâs supposed to be kept in minimal. Whatever happened inside the house, stays inside the house.Â
As much as his friends respect him for that, sometimes they wish that Jake could open up just a bit, so that they can help him in any way they feel necessary.Â
âLetâs just say that our marriage is getting too... crowded.âÂ
Jay and Sunghoon look at each other. It wasnât that direct, but itâs not indirect either. Everyone has their own interpretation. In this case, Jake seems to imply that there is a third party involved in their relationship.Â
However, Jay and Sunghoon found it hard to believe because you donât look like someone who would go out there and cheat on a man that truly love you for who you are. But then, they might be wrong as well.Â
âAre you sure y/n would do that to you?âÂ
Jake shrugs his shoulders at Jakeâs question. He lifts his glass to his lips and gulp down the remaining liquid.Â
âAs much as I would like to deny it, Iâm not sure if I can do that with the evidence that I have.âÂ
Sunghoon nods his head in understanding manner. He then pats Jakeâs shoulder and flash him a small smile.Â
âYou do what you got to do man. Weâll be here for you, always.âÂ
Jake replies Sunghoon with a smile. Heâs truly blessed for having such understanding best friends. He might not be lucky in love, but he knows he won lottery with friendship. So, itâs okay.Â
Heâs going to be okay.Â
Heâs going to be okay.Â
I'm going to be okay.Â
When Jake enters the dark room, suddenly everything feels empty. It feels like his life is crumbling down again. The thought that he kept repeating like a mantra before vanished just like that.Â
He knows he canât possibly go back home. Not with his current state. He needs to get away from all of these. He wants to forget about everything.Â
Unconsciously, he walks towards his office desk. The pictures were still scattered like how he left them earlier. The pictures are enough to ignite his anger. He has never felt so deeply disappointed in someone before.Â
He thought that he knows you enough to not be suspicious of you. But he never knew that youâre just another wolf in sheepâs skin.Â
Jake picks up one of the pictures. If only he could get hold onto the man in the picture, he knew he would beat him up until no one could recognize him ever again.Â
Maybe he shouldâve ended their relationship according to the original plan. Jake sighs to himself. He has no one to blame but himself. He trusts you too easily. In the end, he is the one who got fooled.Â
He examines the picture one last time for the night as heâs thinking of a solution to all of this.Â
When he finally found an answer, the corner of his lips curls up into a smirk. Bingo.Â
âÂ
Hundreds of calls, thousands of messages, and you still havenât heard anything from Jake.Â
You know that he needs some time to calm down. Yet you canât help but to feel worried for him. The least you want to know is where would he spend the night and if heâs eaten anything.Â
But there is nothing you can do. You must let him be for the night. To be fair, no one would be okay if out of nowhere thereâs a picture of your partner being intimate with another person â let alone tons of pictures of it.Â
Your tears had dried down from all the crying that you did earlier. As soon as Jake stormed out of the office, you made the decision to empty out his schedule for the day, claiming that he was on sick leave.Â
As for you, you requested to take a week leave and informed Mr. Sim â your father-in-law â about it. You didnât say for what but by the look on your face, he could guess there is something going on between you and Jake.Â
âThings are bound to happen. Take a break. I promise you it will be fine. Sooner or later, it will get better.âÂ
You smile at his words. You are not sure if you and Jake will ever be fine after the incident but at least your father-in-law's words managed to bring up your spirit.Â
As much as you are still upset about everything, you want to get everything right. You will make it right again.Â
You are sitting on the couch in the living room with a picture in your hand. You managed to steal one of it from the pile in Jakeâs office earlier.Â
Biting your lower lips, you lift the picture to your face so you can see it more clearly. Thatâs when you notice something different about the picture.Â
Without second thought, you grab your phone and dial a number. After a few rings, the receiver picks up the phone.Â
âHey, can we meet up tomorrow?âÂ
âÂ
âSo, what do you think?âÂ
Sunoo hums to himself and look at you. He hands the picture that you gave earlier.Â
âYouâre right. Itâs edited. Most probably AI.âÂ
You tilt your head in confusion.Â
âAI?âÂ
âArtificial Intelligence. It was programmed to help human in various ways â workforce, study, music â you name it.âÂ
You nod your head before a frown form on your face.Â
âBut what does that have to do with my case?âÂ
Sunoo smirks to himself. He pulls out his phone and type something on his phone before showing you a picture. You take his phone and identify it. You donât know why but the picture looks very familiar to you. It was as if you have been there.Â
Thatâs when it clicks in your head. You look at the personâs face closer and you see that the person resembles Sunoo but heâs wearing the outfit that you used to wear back in college.Â
âIsnât this my picture? Why does this look like you?âÂ
Sunoo smiles at your reaction.Â
âThatâs also an AI. I just chose a picture of my face and replaced it with yours. It didnât copy my face 100% but the resemblance is there.âÂ
His smile fades away as he leans forward to you.Â
âThe same thing with your case. Whoever edited it must have your picture as well. Yes, AI can be helpful to us. But some people use it for other purposes â framing, blackmailing, humiliation. At the end of the day, it depends on the personâs intention.âÂ
You think to yourself, trying to figure out the possible suspect. As far as you know, none of the people in your circle is suspicious considering. Thereâs only Sunoo, few of your college friends, and-Â
Your eyes widen at the realization. You look up at Sunoo.Â
âIt couldnât beâŚâÂ
âÂ
âJake!âÂ
Jake turns his head towards the owner of the voice. There, stand his ex-girlfriend, looking like how she normally would.Â
âItâs been a long time since we last talk to each other, right,â she said before inviting herself to sit across him.Â
Jake didnât do anything except following her movements with his eyes. Â
âSo, whatâs the sudden occasion? I thought you blocked me already.âÂ
He let out a soft chuckle at Yunjinâs remarks before shaking his head and flashing her a small smile.Â
âNothing. Just thought that it would be nice to meet you again.âÂ
Yunjin bites her lower lips, holding back herself from smiling too widely at the possibility of Jake missing her like how she missed him.Â
âDonât say it like that. If your wife heard you, she would think that we had something going on.âÂ
Jakeâs face fell at the mention of his wife, and Yunjin didnât miss that. Her expression changed to worry when she saw Jake frowns his brows.Â
âHey, did anything happen?âÂ
Jake swallows his saliva, a bit too loud for her liking. He then shakes his head, trying to not make Yunjin ask further questions about it.Â
She sighs softly at Jake. Heâs always so nice. Yunjin was used to this side of Jake. Just like his friends, she too knows that Jake isnât someone who would simply talk about his life to anyone.Â
But looking at his state now, Yunjin wishes nothing but for Jake to at least share a bit of the burden with her. She wishes that she can take care of him, like how she used to back then.Â
Yunjin reaches her hand to Jakeâs on the table, making the guy lifts his face to look at her. She flashes him a soft smile as she caresses his hand.Â
âDonât worry. Iâm here for you, Jake. You donât have to be strong all the time.âÂ
Jake looks down at her hand. Without thinking, he holds her hand and bring it close to his face.Â
Yunjin was stunned at the sudden gesture. She could feel his breath against her skin. Oh, how she missed it. She missed Jake so much. She missed being loved by him. She missed loving him as well. If only he knows that she would do anything to have him back.Â
âI thought you donât like tattoo.âÂ
Jakeâs remarks pull Yunjin out from her daydream. Her eyes then fall onto her inner forefinger where she planted her tattoo. Her lips curl into a soft smile.Â
âI got it after we broke up. I was devastated so I did it.âÂ
Jake nods his head and flashes her a smile before his eyes fall back onto the tattoo.Â
Both of them stay in silent, with Jake still gazing at her tattoo. She thought that it was cute how Jake never seems to take his eyes from it. Not to mention her pride when he notices the small details about her â just like when they used to be together before.Â
Before Yunjin could stop herself, she confessed to Jake.Â
âI miss you, Jake. I always have.âÂ
âÂ
It was raining heavily outside. Today, marks the third day of Jake not coming back home. Youâve tried to reach him, but it seems like he has blocked you.Â
You asked Jay and Sunghoon about Jake, yet the only thing that they could say was to give him space and time. Speaking of loyal friends, huh.Â
You miss Jake a lot. You miss Jake so much to the point that you still cooked for him, even though the chance of him coming back home to you is thin. Aside from meeting Sunoo, you didnât go anywhere else.Â
You only wait for Jake, day and night, without fail. You didnât bother to sleep in the bedroom anymore. You just stay in the living room, wanting to greet him whenever he chooses to come back home.Â
Turns out, your effort does not go in vain.Â
As the clock strikes 12 midnight, Jake opens the door and enter the house. He takes off his shoes and put it in the cupboard.Â
âWelcome home, Jake.âÂ
He didnât say anything. Instead, he chooses to ignore you and walk up the stairs. You stand up from the couch and call his name, stopping him on his track.Â
âWhere were you?âÂ
He stays silence.Â
âHave you eaten?âÂ
Again, nothing.Â
âDid you meet Yunjin-âÂ
âItâs none of your business.âÂ
You look at Jake, whose back is facing you before letting out a scoff. Of course, he will only talk to you if you mention her name. The name that he canât seem to let go. The name that used to be his sweetheart for four years.Â
Betrayal and hurt dominates your heart. The softness in you is now gone. You did not just wait in the house, waiting for him to come just to find out that heâs out there with his ex-girlfriend.Â
âI knew it. You canât forget about her, right? After all these years, sheâs still the one in your mind.âÂ
Your eyes slowly tear up.Â
âIâm just the replacement. A woman you used to climb up to your title.âÂ
Thatâs not it.Â
âA woman that you can use as your trophy.âÂ
Thatâs not true.Â
âA woman that you will throw away once youâre done using her to fulfil your needs-âÂ
âEnough!âÂ
You gasp at the sudden scream from Jake. The head that were facing the opposite side is now looking straight at you. His hands form into fist, with his thumbs hiding against his palms. His lips tremble from the anger that build up in him.Â
It was wrong. It was all wrong. Whatever you said about yourself, it was wrong. Jake has never seen you as trophy. He never wants to take advantage of your kindness. He loved you with all his heart and soul.Â
The worst part is, he still does.Â
âJakeâŚâÂ
Jakeâs face softens at the sound of your voice calling his name for the second time tonight. He missed it. He missed you. A lot. He wants to be with you again like how it used to be. He wants to get pampered by you. He wants to give you all the loves and affections that you deserve.Â
But he canât because he promised himself he will end it tomorrow.Â
âDo you still love her?âÂ
His breath hitched at your question. His eyes move to look at you, just to see that your eyes are red from all the crying that you did for the past few days. The thought of you crying for him while he wasnât around makes him sick.Â
He canât help but blame himself for putting you in such situation. You didnât deserve all of these. You deserve to be with a man that can make you happy and showers you with all the things the world could offer.Â
Not with a guy like him who will only make you sad and cry all the time. You shouldnât be here. He didnât deserve you at all.Â
Without any words, Jake turns his head back to the stairs. He continues to walk up the stairs and into the bedroom, leaving you standing in the living room with tears falling down your cheeks.Â
As soon as you hear the door closes, you fall on your knees to the floor. Youâre tired. Youâve reached your limit. You donât think you can keep up with this any longer.Â
Jake doesnât care about you anymore. Youâve been worried sick about him. He didnât come back home. He didnât go to office either. Sunghoon and Jay also said that they didnât know where he is.Â
But he doesnât care. After all these times, the only thing that he spoke to you was in the form of anger.Â
You feel pity for yourself. Youâre worthless. You can feel your body slowly fall on the ground, and you just let it happen. Â
Right at that moment, your eyes fall upon the ring at your hand. The sparkles are still there, as if itâs still new.Â
Will it still look the same if it was on her hand, or will it look better?Â
As your eyes close for the night, you thought to yourself, I will end it tomorrow.Â
It will end tomorrow.Â
âÂ
âDid I make you wait too long?âÂ
Yunjin was drinking from her cup before you appear in front of her. She put down her drink and shakes her head with a smile on her face.Â
âNo, I donât mind. I understand you must have business to attend to.âÂ
Despite looking all innocent, you can sense the sarcasm behind her voice. Your eyebrows lift slightly in amusement.Â
Huh, so this is the real Yunjin.Â
You sit across Yunjin as she picks up her cup and drink from it again.Â
âSo, what do you want to talk about?âÂ
You pursue your lips at her. You think to yourself to decide the method that you want to go for.Â
After a few seconds, your hands move to unzip your bag to take out a picture of âyouâ and the unknown man. Without hesitation, you place the picture on the table and slide it to her.Â
âI will cut to the chaste. That woman⌠itâs you. Am I right?âÂ
Yunjin takes the picture in her hand before letting out a historical laugh, enough to get everyoneâs attention.Â
Humiliation. That is how Yunjin wants to play.Â
âAre you blind? Itâs your face in the picture. Not mine.âÂ
You can hear people starts murmuring about the scene that is about to unfold in front of them. But you pay them no attention. You are determined to end everything today. Right here, right now.Â
âThe face does belong to me. But not the body.âÂ
Yunjinâs eyes twitch at your counter. You tilt your head to the side, studying her reaction.Â
âLook at it properly. That tattoo on the inner side of the finger; it matches yours, right?âÂ
Her face fell when you mention about it. Yunjin bring the picture closer to her and scan the picture. Thatâs when she saw the tattoo.Â
How could she forget to remove it before printing it? How could she be so careless? The fact that you even know the tattoo belongs to her⌠How can it be possible? Youâve only met her twice. Thatâs not enough for anyone to actually notice something as small as this.Â
âIâve always been good in observing people. It doesnât take me long to notice your tattoo considering that itâs on the same hand that you shook mine with back at the gala night.âÂ
Yunjin feels like a huge rock has hit her head. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!Â
The whispers around you increase more and more as time passed by.Â
IÂ canât believe someone as beautiful as her can be so ugly deep inside.Â
So pathetic. Slept with a guy and blame others for it.Â
Sheâs nothing but a whore.Â
Yunjinâs lips tremble at the words thrown to her. This is not how she planned it to be. She wants to humiliate you, but it went to her instead. It doesnât make sense. If only you didnât marry Jake, none of this would happen and she would still be with him by his side.Â
She is supposed to hold the title of Mrs. Sim. She is much more worthy as his wife. But it all went down because of you.Â
However, she didnât plan to give up. At least not today.Â
Yunjin gathers her composure before leaning her back against her chair.Â
âYou couldâve purposely placed the tattoo in the picture. Isnât it easier that way?âÂ
With only those sentence, the peopleâs opinion suddenly changed.Â
Why canât she leave the woman alone?Â
She must be hungry for attention. Thatâs why she purposely blames the other woman.Â
A woman who betrays its own kind should not be labelled as a woman at all.Â
The corner of Yunjinâs lips curl up into a smirk. People are easily manipulated. All you need to do is to say a few things and they will instantly believe you whether itâs real or fake.Â
She has won. The victory is hers.Â
Unfortunately for her, the success doesnât last long. You knew she would say that which is why youâve been keeping another strong evidence to prove that itâs not you in the picture.Â
As you reach inside your bag, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You look up at the owner of the hand. Your eyes widened at the sight of Jake.Â
You didnât expect him to be here - so does Yunjin. He is not supposed to know youâre here. What is he even doing here? Did he make another appointment with Yunjin?Â
âYou want another proof that itâs not her? Here, I bring the real guy from the picture.âÂ
Jake said to Yunjin before moving to the side slightly, revealing a man named K standing behind him. Her eyes instantly widened at the sight of him. The exact same guy that she paid to frame you. The exact same guy that she slept with, just for the sake of destroying your marriage with Jake.Â
Yunjin shakes his head to herself.Â
âNo. I don't know this guy. I didnât do anything.âÂ
âYou slept with me, and you said you didnât do it? Did you forgot that I also have the original picture?âÂ
Yunjinâs eyes move to K, and she stood up from the chair.Â
âI paid you to keep quiet!âÂ
K scoffs at her.Â
âNo. You paid me to sleep with you. Thatâs it.âÂ
Yunjin bites her lips before letting out a frustrated groan. She turns to Jake and tries to grab his hands, but Jake avoided her advanced towards him.Â
âJake, I have a reason. I did all of this for you. I love you, Jake. I love you so much.âÂ
You donât like the view in front of you. As a woman, you feel pitiful towards Yunjin. One would never think a beauty such as herself would go low just for the sake of love. Refusing to witness how pathetic Yunjin is, you hug yourself and look to your side.Â
Jake on the other hand can read your body language. He knows you want to run away from the commotion. As your husband, he wants nothing more than fulfilling your wish and needs. So, he must end it now.Â
âDo you know why I broke up with you, Yunjin?âÂ
Jakeâs question makes Yunjin frown in confusion. Jake clears his throat, and his lips form a straight line.Â
âThat day, I just got back from studying. When I walked into our room, I saw you sleeping soundly, with another guy next to you. I donât need to know that you both are naked under the blanket considering that clothes were scattered on the floor. You claimed that you love me, but you still had the guts to cheat on me. Thatâs why I broke up with you...âÂ
Jake turns to look at you for a few seconds before facing Yunjin once again.Â
â... Thatâs why I will never ever be with you.âÂ
At that, Jake pulls you up and circles his arm around your waist, before bringing you out of the place, leaving Yunjin faced the humiliation that she created.Â
âÂ
As soon as you enter the house, Jake closes the door behind you and bring you to sit down in the living room. He then excuses himself to the kitchen to get two glasses of water. He brings the waters to the living room and put it on the table before sitting down next to you.Â
Both of you stay in silence for a while. You puff your cheeks before grabbing the glass and drink the water.Â
âHow did you know I was there?âÂ
Jake clears his throat. Now, itâs his turn to drink the water before answering your question.Â
âI... followed you?âÂ
You turn to face Jake, blinking your eyes at his words.Â
âReally? You followed me? Since when?âÂ
Jake rubs the back of his neck and flashes you a sheepish smile.Â
âWell, that day when I stormed off from office, I came back later that night. When I wanted to throw away the pictures, I felt something was off. Thatâs when I realized that the face does resembles you, but not totally you. Not to mention the hint of tattoo on the finger...âÂ
His hands move to hold your hand gently. He brings up your hand to his face before smiling to himself.Â
â...Iâve kissed this same hand countless times to know that youâve never had tattoo, my love.âÂ
All emotions come at you at the same time when he called you, my love. Tears brimming at your eyes as you suddenly recalled those nights without Jake in your arms. The way he raised his voice for the first time at you are still fresh in your mind, considering it just happened yesterday.Â
âYou hurt me, Jake. You hurt me so much.âÂ
Jake looks at your teary eyes before leaning his forehead against yours, making you burst into tears as soon as it touches. He had always known that you are a soft person, and you prove him right.Â
He knows that he has hurt you so bad. Although it was only a few days, the pain in your heart will still need time to heal. He wonât blame you for hating him or anything. He deserves it.Â
âI know baby, I know. I left you alone, crying to yourself for days. I am a bad husband, and I am sorry for the way I behave. I shouldâve believed you because you are my wife. My wife will never cheat on me, and I should know better.âÂ
You just nod your head, agreeing to his words as tears still flowing down your cheeks.Â
Jakeâs hands move up to caress your arms to your shoulder and up to your face. His thumbs wipe away your tears, even though a lot are still threatening to fall.Â
âPlease, forgive me. You can take as much time as you need, but please, donât leave me, y/n. I want no one but you to be my wife. You are the only one for me. No one can change that.âÂ
You open your eyes to look at Jake, just to find out that he is quietly sobbing. You canât believe that there will be a day where Jake would cry in front of you. It just shows that he truly cares for you and whatever he said earlier is nothing but the truth.Â
Although a part of you is still upset with him, you canât deny that your heart yearns to love and be loved by him. Just like him, you canât imagine any other man as your lover, let alone your husband. You want him, and only him.Â
Your hand reaches up to cup his face, his eyes are now looking into yours. You could feel his breath against your skin, and thatâs enough to tell you that heâs in front of you.Â
Without wasting time, you lean to Jake, pressing your lips against his, in which he responds with open heart. Both of you could taste each otherâs tears, but you donât care.Â
You and Jake have been spending time away from each other for too long ever since you got married to him. All the pent-up emotion and frustration can be felt with the way you and Jake canât seem to let go of one another.Â
Suddenly, everything feels right all over again. The pieces that were scattered are now together once again. Your life had always been normal. But somehow, being together with Jake makes your life more colourful than it already is.Â
Deep in the heart, you and Jake promise to not leave one another anymore for both of you canât live without each other. Jake needs you as much as you need Jake. No one in the world can ever change that.Â
As you are lost in Jakeâs arms, you thank the universe for shaping you into Jakeâs one and only, Mrs. Sim, forever.Â
#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#jake#jake imagines#jake romance#jake scenarios#enhypen romance#enhypen jake sim#sim jake#jake sim
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Biggest Fan : ĚĚâ Lando Norris
summary: lando had never expected to fall in love when he was invited to visit psgâŚthat was until he met you
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 849,302 others
landonorris: pretending to know what Iâm doing đ thank you psg for inviting me to watch a game tonight - I loved it â˝ď¸
73,940 comments
username1: new signing when???
username2: I love that he went to watch the women, I heard he even stayed around to meet the players after too
danielricciardo: not you pretending to be good at another sport
landonorris: @/danielricciardo idk what youâre talking about, ronaldo is quaking in his boots đ
username3: nobody show this photo to manchester united
oscarpiastri: so this is why you refused to have dinner with me tonight đ
username4: footballer lando was an aesthetic I did not prepare myself for
georgerussell63: personally very offended you didnât invite me to come and enjoy this with you
logansargeant: I thought I taught you better than thisâŚthis is what we call soccer đ¤Śđźââď¸
landonorris: @/logansargeant get in the bin đď¸
username5: I play football too, come and see me play instead đ
ynusername: thank you for stopping by and seeing us, we had a great time meeting you and learning a bit more about formula 1 âşď¸
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by ybffusername, jackie_groenen_14 and 482,050 others
ynusername: quick getaway during the winter break âˇď¸â¤ď¸
39,583 comments
username6: wait what whose the guy
username7: since when has y/n been in the dating game wtf
ybffusername: excuse me missus, youâve got a lot of explaining to do
grace_geyoro: you said you were going on a solo ski holiday đ
ynusername: @/grace_geyoro whoops đđťââď¸
landonorris: the question isâŚare you as good a skier as you are footballer?
ynusername: @/landonorris Iâm a woman of many talents đ
username8: are we watching lando norris shoot his shot with the y/n y/l/n right now
username9: peep how y/n was the only player he followed after visiting psg
username10: canât be the only thinking theyâd make a pretty hot couple đĽ
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 382,493 others
ynusername: thought Iâd repay the favour and see what f1 is really about, thank you for a great day mclaren!! ps am i a papaya girl now?? đď¸đ§Ą
48,596 comments
mclaren: youâre welcome back anytime y/n đ§Ąđď¸
username11: how do you look better in papaya than in red and blue đ
username12: the photo of landoâs garage too đ¤
oscarpiastri: it was lovely to meet you, make sure you come back and visit us soon!!
ynusername: @/oscarpiastri give me a date and time and Iâll be thereâŚI had a blast!!
username13: has lando managed to turn y/n into an f1 girlie?? đ
landonorris: definitely think you should stick to kicking a football around đ
ynusername: @/landonorris Iâd have been able to drive the car if I didnât have such a rubbish teacher đ
username14: something is brewingâŚtrust me
georgerussell63: the mercedes garage is always open fyi đ
ynusername: @/georgerussell63 lando told me to tell you Iâm a mclaren girl now
username15: omg lando told y/n what to say
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by username16, f1source101 and 3,593 others
f1wags: rumour has it around the paddock that y/n and lando arenât just winning on the pitch and in the car but off them two. our sources have told us that the duo have been spotted throughout the weekend looking very close with each other. maybe not so much friends after all?
695 comments
username17: my heart wonât ha able to take it if these two start dating
username18: officially now my only otp
username19: lando has seemed to be a lot happier recently âşď¸
username20: pls donât break my heart like this lando
username21: they both deserve happiness!! we need confirmation asap
username22: Iâve never shipped two people harder
username23: apparently they were all over each other most of the weekend đĽ°
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by psg_feminines, oscarpiastri and 439,103 others
ynusername: huge win in lyon tonight, so proud to be part of this time â¤ď¸đ
38,594 comments
psg_feminines: two goals and an assistâŚyouâre our superstar y/n!
username24: yay y/n!! man of the match for sure tonight!
landonorris: huge win!! smashed it legend đâ¤ď¸
ynusername: @/landonorris I didnât realise you were watching đĽş
landonorris: @/ynusername ofc I never miss a match â˝ď¸
username25: itâs not fair how one person can look so good on the football field
oscarpiastri: can confirm that lando was glued to the screen for the entire match đ
ynusername: @/oscarpiastri Iâm so sorry you had to sit through it đŹ
username26: landoâs so busy and yet he made time to cheer for y/n
username27: can you two just dateâŚforever??
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by landonorris, ybffusername and 593,054 others
ynusername: a well deserved weekend off, with some pretty cool company too đđ¤
73,842 comments
username28: LANDO LANDO LANDO AODLDQML
username29: damn I knew it
ybffusername: youâve got to be kidding me right now omg
username30: my heart has never beated so fast in my life
landonorris: look at you all sunkissed and relaxed đĽ
ynusername: @/landonorris itâs amazing what a holiday - and pretty fun company - can do đĽş
username31: this is everything!!
danielricciardo: Iâm guessing my invite just got lost in the post đ
alex_albon: look at you two đâşď¸
username32: my two favourite people in the world
username33: oh to be on a beach with lando norris
oscarpiastri: make sure you bring him back in one piece y/n
ynusername: @/oscarpiastri đŤĄđŤĄđŤĄ
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon and 583,506 others
ynusername: always an honour to wear the badge of my country, a great weekend of internationals before heading back to paris! merci â˝ď¸đ
69,293 comments
landonorris: so glad I could be there to watch đĽşđĽ°
username34: lando was there thatâs so sweet
username35: notice all of landoâs friends in the likes, they adore y/n too
username36: people on social media are saying how loud lando was all night long
username37: @/username36 I was thereâŚhe didnât stop cheering every time y/n touched the ball âşď¸
alex_albon: who knew watching football could be so fun đ
oscarpiastri: even without lando I tuned inâŚwhat have you done to me y/n??
ynusername: @/oscarpiastri youâre so sweet, thank you đĽş
username38: y/n has been playing out of this world since she started talking to lando
username39: world cup incoming surely!!
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by ynusername, maxverstappen1 and 904,843 others
landonorris: adventuring with my favourite person â¤ď¸đ
104,382 comments
georgerussell63: we get it okay, youâre not single anymore đ
landonorris: @/georgerussell63 now you know how Iâve felt for all these years
ynusername: I had the best time with you!! thank you for being the best taxi driver đ
landonorris: @/ynusername itâs an easy job with you as passenger princess
username40: you cannot convince me that these two arenât just the cutest couple in the world
username41: being driven by lando is the dream, y/n is so lucky damn
danielricciardo: looks like a great adventure!! đ¤Š
maxverstappen1: love seeing you so happy brother â¤ď¸
username42: wherever they are, I want to go
username43: still managing to get the papaya in too đđ§Ą
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by psg_feminines, oscarpiastri and 1,392,906 others
landonorris: champions league final â˝ď¸ so proud of you and the team my love for getting this far - youâre amazing!! đâ¤ď¸
104,593 comments
alex_albon: good luck y/n, weâre rooting for you!!
oscarpiastri: lily is disapproving but Iâm watching too, go y/n go!
georgerussell63: cannot wait to see you at the next race with that winners medal round your neck!
danielricciardo: ik nothing about football but hoping you win y/n â¤ď¸
maxverstappen1: just remember to do what I donât, aim at the goal đ you can do it y/n!
lewishamilton: no doubt in you y/nâŚvictory is yours!!
mclaren: everyone at the mtc is rooting for you y/n đ§Ąđ§Ąđ§Ą
logansargeant: good luck on the soccer field y/n đ
lance_stroll: idk what the champions league is, but judging from your suit Iâm guessing itâs serious - good luck y/n
carlossainz55: seeing as madrid arenât playing I guess I can cheer for psg just for tonight đ
charles_leclerc: allez y/n allez psg
ynusername: thank you for always supporting me - and everyone else too â¤ď¸đâ˝ď¸
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liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 593,604 others
ynusername: winning on the field and off the field these days - ily lando đŠˇđ
58,704 others
landonorris: if anyone is winning, itâs definitely me đ thank you for choosing me đ§Ąâ¤ď¸đ
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i want nobody but you | p.sh
synopsis â you and sunghoon have known each other your whole lives and although you've both dealt with jokes from classmates since elementary school on how you two would end up together, that never ended up happening; you two would brush it off and then move on. you never really thought about pursuing something with him romantically, especially since you like things with a more casual approach. but once sunghoon's girlfriend becomes a part of the picture, you can't help but feel these feelings consume you. being the way you are, however, you managed to push them down and you at least thought you got over them until you realize maybe they never left at all. or even worse: they were always there.
feat. â yujin (ive) & sungchan (riize)
genre â college au, friends to somewhat enemies to lovers, romance, smut, angst (eh, ig), slowburn (ig? srry lmao)
pairing â nonidol!sunghoon x fem!reader
warnings â MDNI, smoking !! (reader and sunghoon both smoke), drinking, cursing, mention(s?) of death, mention of hookups, reader is called and referred to (sometimes self referred to) as a: slut/whore; slutshaming, !! potential sh reference (pinching/hitting self; dk if that counts, but it's not mentioned after) !!, mentions of sex (obvi)
w.c. â 22.7k
a/n â long time no see lol. lmk if u would be interested in seeing some pics i took at the enha concert i went to :)) (i won't do vids because i was screaming like a baboon lmao) p.s. bear w me bc ik this is a long one, but i feel like i owe you all since i've been gone for practically a century, but pls give it a chance, i'm on my knees begging bc this took 3 days
disclaimer !! â i donât ship any idols i portray as dating in this story irl nor do i have the intent to portray anyone in this story in a negative light, this is just for creative purposes, babes <3; this is all just fiction, take it lightly pls and thx
!!DO NOT COPY OR REPOST!!
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-
Today has been a long day. You groan as you take a seat on a bench somewhere near the lecture hall you just left and you close your eyes as you lean back against it. You had originally thought your senior year of high school was torturous, but being a senior in college was far worse. Your eyebrows furrow a bit when you feel the weight of the bench shift a bit, meaning someone has taken a seat beside you. Your eyes open a bit and you turn your head to see Sunghoon next to you. A sigh escapes your lips and you turn your head away, closing your eyes again.Â
Sunghoon sits there for a moment, looking at you. Lately, you two havenât hung out as much and although he admittedly forgot to text you for the past week and half, you were still his best friend. He could argue, though, that âthe phone works both waysâ, so youâre not exactly innocent either. Heâs seen you around campus, hanging out with some members of the basketball team, mainly the captain: Sungchan. You didnât seem bothered by the lack of contact between the two of you, either, so it didnât bother him or make him feel guilty that you havenât hung out in just a few days. NoâŚnot at all.
âNice to see you, too.â he mumbles. You stay quiet, honestly close to falling asleep on the bench, especially with the warm breeze that is gently blowing. He narrows his eyes a bit and leans back against the bench. He does the same as you, closing his eyes as he relaxes, but he frowns to himself. âYou and Sungchan seem to be close.â he says, not really even understanding why he brought it up in the first place.Â
This piques your interest. âWhat about him.â you say rather than ask, still keeping your eyes closed.
Sunghoon shrugs, still not really sure why he cares who you hang out with or how often or who they are orâŚanything like that. Maybe it upsets him to think about the fact that you might replace him with someone cooler as your best friend; maybe he was too lame for you. How juvenile, he thought to himself. But thatâs what it felt like, to him, at least. âNothing. Iâve just seen you guys hanging out a lot, thatâs all.â Sunghoon replies.
âHow would you know that; we havenât really hung out or talked lately.â you reply, not meaning to sound snarky, but it most likely came across that way.
Sunghoon scoffs softly. âI have eyes; I can still see who you talk to.â
You open your eyes a bit and turn your head to look at him. âStalker.â you tease.Â
Sunghoon opens his eyes, almost as if he can feel you looking at him and he rolls them, not amused. âAm notâŚIâm just trying to start a conversation or whatever.â
âAbout the people I talk to?â
Sunghoon shrugs. âAbout anythingâŚâ It stays quiet for a moment. âItâs just been a while since weâve talked.â
âAnd whose fault is that?â You ask, rhetorically.
Sunghoon frowns. âWell, Iâve just been busy-â
You scoff, âYeah. I know.â You reply dryly.
âWhat is that supposed to mean?â
âNothing. Just that thatâs what you always say whenever we donât talk to each other for a while. Like, I get it, youâre dating Yujin, big whoop.â
Youâve considered the possibility that he has just been busy with schoolwork, but no matter how many times you would give him the benefit of the doubt, it always ended up being because he was hanging out with Yujin. You werenât really mad, per say, just annoyed. Severely annoyed. But what could you do? Ever since they started dating freshman year, youâve felt like you were on the backburner. Which, again, you canât really be upset about that. Afterall, sheâs his girlfriend, whether you liked it or not. There is nothing wrong with her, you two got along fine, even if you donât really talk or are even friends. You donât hate her, not for any valid reasons, anyway. Still, despite how many people you know, Sunghoon is your only real friend and always has been. But itâs times like these when it feels like he means more to you than you mean to him.
âSheâs my girlfriend.â He says, matter-of-factly.
You roll your eyes at his statement. âI know that,â you retort with annoyance, âyou only ever bring it up every chance you get.â
âYou seriously canât be annoyed that I spend time with my own girlfriend.â He responds with the same tone.
Sometimes, Sunghoon gets caught up in things. Like being with Yujin, for example. Heâll be with her and then it just slips his mind to respond to a text of yours or to ask if you want to do something, he canât help it. He knows that heâs your best friend and heâs certain that youâre his, too. Sure, Yujin means a lot to him, but you mean more, whether he would admit that or not. He just wants to make everything balanced, for everything to work out. But a part of him feels like something has been off since he started dating Yujin. Sure, heâs had other girlfriends, but never one for longer than a few months. This relationship is important to him. What if Yujin is the one? He canât screw it up and heâs afraid to, so he makes sure to spend as much time with her as he can. He thought you would understand, but apparently not.
Youâve met Sunghoonâs other girlfriends, none of which bothered you as much as Yujin. Maybe because this one seems more serious. Maybe because she seems more important to him. The thought makes your stomach curdle. This whole situation makes your stomach curdle. You shouldnât care so much, but you do. You hate that. âWhatever.â you reply, honestly not having thought of anything better to respond with. What were you supposed to say to that? Of course you understood, but that doesnât mean it doesnât suck.
âBesides, like I said, you and Sungchan have been hanging out a lot recently. Donât act like youâve never blown me off to hang out with him.â Sunghoon says.
âBarely.â
âNot barely. A lot. âOh, Sungchan invited me to his basketball game to watchâ, âOh, Sungchan invited me to a party,â âOh, Sungchan wants to hook upâ, âOh, Sungchan this and Sungchan thatâ.â Sunghoon mocks, annoyed.
You frown. âWhy do you care? Youâve got a girlfriend, so just hang out with her instead.â
Sunghoon frowns as well. âThatâs not the point. The point is that you ditch me just the same to hang out with a guy who youâre not even dating. You donât talk to me sometimes when youâre with him or another guy, so why are you so upset that I do the same with Yujin, who Iâm actually dating?â
âStop rubbing in the fact that youâre dating someone. Good for you, who gives a shit? So what if I do the same? Itâs only because you do it first!â you argue back. You grab your backpack and stand up as you put it on. You start walking away from him and he watches you as you leave.
âGreat talk!â he calls out to you in a sarcastic manner.
He didnât mean to make you upset or try to ârub his relationshipâ in your face, he would never try to intentionally make you upset. So, why did he care? He doesnât, itâs as simple as that. Maybe you doing the same thing to him with Sungchan bothered him a little. Maybe you wanting to spend your time instead with someone else youâre not even dating bothered him a little. But itâs not like he actually cared or anything. He knows he canât tell you what to do or who to see, so why does he care? He knows he blew you off, so why didnât he just apologize? Why did he bring up Sungchan in the first place? Sunghoon sits on the bench for a moment, rethinking things. Why was he acting like you were ignoring him when it was kind of the other way around? He sighs and closes his eyes again. Heâll figure it out later.
-
You let out a long yawn as the dim glow from your computer screen shines on your face. Itâs three in the morning, and sure, you have a class tomorrow, but you canât sleep and figure you can just skip your lecture anyway. Even if your brightness was all the way down, it still hurt your eyes every so often, so you would close them to make them feel better while you listened to the show you were watching. You hear your phone ding and your eyes open, your hand reaching for your phone to see the text.
âare you awake?â Sunghoon texts.
He knows you are. You almost always are, which is why he knew you would see the message. Although, he did anticipate the idea of you ignoring him. You were good at things like that, things that required a stubborn attitude. He didnât mind your stubbornness, though. He didnât mind anything when it came to you. He waited a bit, sitting in the darkness with just the light of his phone screen, his thumb gently tapping it so it doesnât automatically turn off as he waits for you to text back.Â
âyeah.â you text back.
It took you a few minutes and in all honesty, you almost didnât respond. But you missed him, which even if he asks directly, you would deny. You wonder if he missed you too, but you shake that thought away.
âstill pissy?â
This makes you laugh a little. Yes, you were, but you still found it a little funny.
âshut up.â you text back.
âwanna hang out?â
You sigh. Now he wants to? It takes you a while to reply with anything as you just stare at his message.
âcan u bring the usual?â you reply.
He smiles at your text. âduhâ he texts back.
You smile a bit, looking forward to actually hanging out with him. The whole argument was dumb anyway and you just wanted your best friend back. And after a while of waiting, you hear a knock on your dorm room door. You get up from your bed and unlock it, opening it as you step outside. He smiles softly when he sees you and you smile a bit back. You both quietly leave your dorm building before going outside and sitting on the curb. He sets the plastic bag he was carrying between you two and opens a bottle of beer before handing it to you. You take it and he opens his own, both of you taking a sip as a cool breeze blows softly.Â
âSorry about earlier,â he says quietly, âand for not talking to you for a week. I just got caught up with Yujin, you know?â
You take another drink, not really interested in discussing this anymore. âItâs fine.â
âI also wasnât trying to rub her and I into your face and make you feel bad or anything, itâs justâŚâ he trails off. Itâs silent for a moment as you both drink. âThis week has been shitty.â he mumbles.
âAmen to that.â you reply. He chuckles softly and you both clink your bottles before smiling and taking another drink.
âHowâs your love life going, anyway?â he asks, genuinely curious.
Sure, there were other things he wanted to talk about, could talk about, but this is what slipped out of his mouth first. He was actually curious, he truly wants to know. He just wants to see you happy.Â
You shrug, âThe same; just hook ups.â
He looks at you for a moment. Thatâs it? Youâve been hooking up with people since the beginning of high school. Sure, youâve dated some guys before, but they were all assholes; Sunghoon never liked them. He couldnât stand them, to put it plainly. You deserve better, and he knows that. But he also knows youâre not into relationships. You like things to be simple and direct. But when it comes to how you feel, he knew you werenât very expressive with that. Only when it comes to getting what you want. He kind of admires that about you.
âSoâŚno one in particular? You just kind ofâŚgo after who you think is the hottest?â
You grin, âSomething like that.â you take a sip, âSoâŚhow are things going with Yujin?â
You honestly hate that you asked. Why would you? Why would you want to hear about that? Surely, things must be going wonderfully if heâs so wrapped up in all that is her. But youâre still friends. Itâs normal to ask these kinds of questions, right? Maybe he wonât really say much anyway and youâll be a good friend for even asking. Thatâs what youâre hoping for, at least.
"Well... things have been kind of weird. She's been acting kinda distant recently; I don't know how else to explain it. She just seems really bored all the time. Like, the sex is good but it just seems like she's not into me anymore or something." he replies.
You give him a weird look as he brings up the topic of sex with Yujin. Gross. Just...Gross.
âDescribing sex with your âgirlfriendâ as good is never a good thing.â you say as you laugh a bit, taking a sip.Â
Sunghoon scoffs a bit. Why did it seem like you were happy to hear that? It irritated him a bit, but he brushed it off. âWell, I didnât mean it like that. Itâs more likeâŚitâs become something thatâs routine.â
âYeah, thatâs probably not a good sign.â
Sunghoon sighs. "I know... it's just so weird though. I mean, we've been together for so long, and she's never been the type to get bored like this. It just sucks. I'm worried if something happened between us that's making her not want to be with me anymore."
You look at him for a moment as he drinks. You hate seeing him upset and you know that Yujin means a lot to him, especially since this is his first big relationship. You frown a bit as you drink. âHave you asked her?â you take another sip, âArenât people in relationships supposed to communicate and shit?â
"Yeah, I asked her and she said everything was fine, but like... I don't know. I just have a feeling that she's not telling me something, and I've tried asking her multiple times, but every time, she always says everything's fine." he takes another drink. âThatâs pretty much what Iâve been spending last week doing, justâŚtrying to fix what may not even be broken.â he mumbles.
You feel bad now for getting upset at him for blowing you off. It makes sense and you just got defensive again, not really knowing what he was doing. You sit there for a moment, not really sure what to say. Sunghoon didnât mind the silence, though. He was trying to focus on Yujin and figure out why things feel this way when maybe, they arenât even that way at all. Maybe itâs him. He isnât sure, but he is sure that he already feels a million times better being with you, even if it is just sitting next to each other on a curb in silence.
âDo you cum?â you ask.
Sunghoon chokes on his beer a little, hitting his chest a bit as he coughs. He looks at you, not expecting your question at all, and as for you, well, you werenât really expecting to ask it. It kind of justâŚcame out. Your initial thought process was to ask more about his feelings on things in the relationship, seeming more like a routine, but it kind of led to you wondering if he even cums. In your defense, you thought that if he doesnât, then maybe the relationship is going downhill. You look at him, as if what you asked was totally normal, taking another sip of your beer. He looks back at you, seeming to have processed what you asked.
â...yeah, pretty much every time.â
âDoes she?â
Again, not something you really want to know, but you do want to help him.
â...sometimes, but most of the time she doesnât.â
You suck air through your teeth, âUh-oh.â
âItâs not a big deal, you know, so what if sometimes we donât? Itâs not about that, itâs just aboutâŚconnecting or whatever.â he mumbles as he takes a sip.
âSo, then what? Do you guys just likeâŚdo it yourself?â
âYeah, so?â
You laugh. You canât help it, itâs just too funny. Not his obvious pain with his relationship kind of going south, but the fact that he finds this to be normal. You at least found that funny.
âWhatâs so funny?â he asks, pissed off, but also slightly embarrassed.
âDude, I'm not a relationship expert, but like...shouldn't people who have sex, I don't know, finish every time? I mean, I have never really had that happen often with any of the guys I hook up with, but hey, what do I know.âÂ
"Well... I guess, but it's not a big deal to me. As long as she enjoys it, that's what's important. And, it's not like it happens all the time. Sometimes she does finish, but it's just... well, not as often as I would hope..." he takes another sip.
You roll your eyes to yourself. Kind of out of instinct. If youâre going to be frank, you donât give a damn about her.
You shrug, âI donât know,â you take another sip, âyou say you donât cum sometimes, how come?â
âI donât knowâŚit just happens?â
You shake your head, âNah, thereâs a reason.â
âBut the reason is dumb and I donât want to talk about this anymore.â he takes another sip.
âDo you think sheâs hot?â
What a stupid question. You wish you didnât ask it. Why would you want to hear him talk about yet again how hot he thinks she is. It makes your blood boil and you would rather bash yourself over the head with your beer bottle than hear him talk about how perfect she is. But, there is a small, small part of you hoping for a certain answer. Only a small part.
âOf course I do.â he replies, simply.
âSo, then, whatâs the problem?â
âSometimes I have a hard time finishing, happy? JesusâŚâ he mumbles as he drinks some more.
You roll your eyes. Youâve known each other your whole lives, you know when heâs lying.
âMmm,â you take another sip, âno, you see, sometimes when I hook up with guys, I suddenly don't feel attracted to them, so then sometimes I don't finish. So do you just like sometimes not like her or something?â
He shakes his head, "No, I'm always attracted to her. But... sometimes I have a hard time finishing, and I don't know why that is."
âWhat do you think about?â you ask, kind of quietly.
A part of you didnât want to ask that, besides, this conversation was becoming weird. But that small, small part of you was so desperately hoping for a certain answer. Fucked up? Yeah, most definitely, but that didnât seem to stop you.
âAbout what?â he asks, actually clueless.
âWhen youâre having sex, what do you think about?â you ask again, taking a sip of your beer.
â...about her, thatâs what youâre supposed to do, so,â he trails off, âSometimes IâŚthink about other things...â he answers, blushing a bit.
âLike what?â
âJustâŚrandom stuff. Why do you want to know anyway?â he asks, getting slightly defensive.
âMaybe that's what's distracting you. I don't know, spice things up with her or something. Or have an actual conversation with her about how you feel or whatever.â you mutter as you finish your beer.
He takes another sip of his beer. âWhy are you acting like some sort of relationship counselor? Youâve never even really been in a relationship yourself.â
Maybe he wanted to piss you off with what he said, but only so you could back off. âSpice things upâ? Yujin and him are fine, heâs deciding that right here, right now. He doesnât want your help with this or to even discuss it anymore with you. It feels weird. Besides, he doesnât want you to think that heâsâŚnot good at sex. Not for any other reasons, just thatâŚhe doesnât want you to think that about him.
You set your bottle down and look at him. âBecause youâre my friend? I donât know. Why do you care?â You hold your hand out, wanting him to hand the cigarettes he brought while your other hand digs into your sweatpants pocket for your lighter.
He reaches into the bag and hands them to you, knowing full well you could have grabbed them yourself, yet he still obliged. âSo, in all of your hooking up, have you ever had feelings for anyone you hooked up with? And not those bullshit feelings for your douchebag exes, like actual feelings. Or have they all just been hookups?â he asks, hoping to change the subject.
You open the pack, âHookups.â
âEvery single one?â
âMhm.â you answer, taking one out and putting it into your mouth, lighting it as you take a drag.
âSo youâve never fallen in love with anyone youâve hooked up with?â
You laugh, âFallen in love? How stupid.â you say as you take another drag.
âOkay, love might be a strong word, but like, have you never developed feelings for any of the people youâve hooked up with?â he asks, finishing his beer.
âNah.â
"Right, right. So, you're just all about hookups then, and that's cool, no shame or anything; I get it. But you've never felt even just a little bit of loneliness from it?" he asks as he sets his bottle down. You ignore his question, taking another drag. He knows by your reaction that heâs said something that bothers you. Whenever anything is mentioned that may reveal how you truly feel, you just block it off and move on. He sighs, not too sure why he bothered asking since you always ignore these types of topics. Sometimes, he wished you wouldnât. He wished you would be more open with him. It feels like he can talk to you about anything and everything, even if sometimes he doesnât want to, but he does anyway because youâŚwell, youâre you. "I mean, it's gotta get kinda boring... always hooking up, never really connecting with anyone. Unless you don't care about that kind of thing."
âLove is stupid.â you reply flatly.
What a groundbreaking opinion. Truly, nobody has ever felt or thought the same thing. Great stuff. Sunghoon sighs at your answer, not really getting why you wonât just tell him. He wants you to. He canât really explain why. It doesnât have to do with wanting to get some satisfaction out of helping you or changing you, but rather, sometimes he feels like he knows nothing about you. Youâre important to him, more than you could possibly understand, but still, sometimes, you seem so distant; like a stranger. He just wants to know that you trust him.
âSo, just because love hasnât exactly worked out in your life, you think love is stupid? I donât really think thatâs fairâŚjust because your ex boyfriends were assholes doesnât mean that true love doesnât exist.â
For some reason, him talking about true love pisses you off. It pisses you off greatly. You can feel your skin crawl and anger boiling up inside you, so you take a drag from your cigarette, blowing out the smoke, wishing it was something else you were getting rid of.
âItâs not about them.â you take another drag, âDo you love Yujin?â
You think you know the answer already. No, you know the answer indefinitely. There is only one answer. Why would he have spent the past threeâalmost four yearsâdating her if he didnât? You think about all the times he talked about her when they first started dating. You try not to, but your mind recalls all the details, how he said them, what he said, how he looked while he was talking. It made you sick.
His heart sinks a little when you ask the question. He stares at you for a moment, not responding to your question right away. He takes a long deep breath before he answers, âYes.â You sit silent. You heard his answer, but you donât want to acknowledge it. You take another drag from your cigarette, a longer one this time, blowing out the smoke slowly as you tap some of the tobacco from the butt of it off. âDo youâŚnot believe me?â he asks, watching you. He can tell something is on your mind, youâre just having trouble saying it. Heâs not asking to be snarky or anything, he asks in more of a gentle tone, just wanting you to open up or at least just say something remotely close to how you feel.
âNo, I do.â you answer quietly. For some reason, it hurts to say that. Itâs true, though; you do believe himâŚunfortunately.
Silence consumes the both of you, just sitting on the curb as time passes. Crickets chirp softly in the distance and the subtle burn of the tobacco from your cigarette fills it a bit, but not enough. He stares at you, both annoyed and concerned.Â
âThen what is it? Are you trying to say thereâs something wrong with my relationship?â he asks, suddenly defensive. Even he, himself, doesnât know why heâs suddenly so defensive about it, especially since he brought up the issue earlier, but he doesnât like thinking that you think there is something wrong.
âJesus, itâs not like that.â you respond, knowing full and well it is like that.
âThen spit it out; what are you trying to say?â
âShut up.â
You take another drag and he rolls his eyes, annoyed. âYou know, youâre so annoying sometimes.â
âSo are you.â
âYeah, I know, but youâre worse.â
You take another drag, genuinely wanting him to shut up, or for things to be normal. Or better yet, for things not to be complicated. âGo cry about it to your girlfriend.â
âScrew you.â
âDitto.â
âWhatever.â he says, pissed off.
âYeah, whatever.â you mumble as you take another drag.
He continues to look at you, pissed off at how you donât seem to care about anything. He used to like that a lot about you, how you never cared about what people thought and are able to brush anything off. Maybe âused toâ is a bit strong, he still likes that about you, but for right now, itâs incredibly infuriating.Â
âYou know, Iâve noticed that you always avoid giving direct answers to questions. Maybe thatâs why youâre so scared of commitment; Not willing to really speak your mind out of fear of hurting someoneâs feelings or your own.â he says, hoping this would piss you off enough to just say how you feel.
You roll your eyes, âShut up.â you say as you continue smoking your cigarette.
âNo, I won't shut up. In fact, I'm gonna keep talking because this is one of the rare occasions where weâre actually having a serious conversation and not just talking about petty stuff.â
You roll your eyes again. âI donât want to.â you reply, simply.
âToo bad. because I am really curious about it. So, Iâm just gonna keep asking questions. Like, have you ever experienced real heartbreak before? Because you seem like the type that just throws people away and moves on with no remorse.â You become quiet. Sure, you werenât answering before, well, barely, anyway. But this time, you feel like youâre shrinking. That type of quiet. The type of quiet you become when you feel like you got caught and you donât want to admit to what you did. You just smoke your cigarette. âAnd you donât just avoid answering questions about your romantic life, either. You do the same thing when it comes to family, friends, and anyone else. You just push people away and never actually let anyone get to know the real you.âÂ
âYou know the real me.â you say, looking at him. In all honesty, you were insulted. He was seriously telling you that he âdoesnât know the real youâ after you guys have been friends since you were two years old? What does that say about your friendship?
âNo, I really donât. All I know about you is the surface layer stuff that youâre willing to share, but I don't actually know you. No one does. Because you never let anyone get close enough.â he says as he looks you directly in the eyes, meaning every word he says. Well, maybe not every word, but it is how he feels. He doesnât want you to get frustrated, but if thatâs what it takes for you to finally say how you feel, then so be it. You do feel yourself getting frustrated and you look away, taking another drag. âAnd donât deny it, âcause you know itâs true. You just push people away and never let yourself be vulnerable, âcause if you did, then they could use that vulnerability against you. And god forbid anybody ever find out about your deepest insecurities-âÂ
âShut the fuck up.â you say, feeling anger seethe out of you. He sits there, somewhat stunned by your response. Not exactly that you became angry, but more so that he actually got a reaction out of you. He watches you as you put your cigarette out and stand up. âIâm going back to my room.â you mutter.Â
He stands up. âSeriously?â he says as he sees you start to walk away. He scoffs. âYouâre just going to leave? Like that? Whatever.â he mumbles as he grabs the pack of cigarettes you put back into the bag (the pack he specifically bought for you and always buys whenever you guys hang out like this). He opens it and grabs one, lighting it as he sees you turn around. You walk back over to him and snatch the pack of cigarettes from his hand. âThe hell?â he asks, annoyed, as he tries to grab it back.
You hold it out of his reach. âYou donât even like red Marlboros.â you say, almost tempted to take the one out of his mouth, too just to spite him.
âGive it back.â he says sternly as he takes a small drag from the one in his mouth, holding it between his fingers as he glares at you.
âNo.â
âItâs my pack of cigarettes.â
âThat you bought for me.â
âAnd I want it back.â
âWell, tough shit, Iâm not giving it back.â
âGive it.â he says as he holds out his hand. You ignore him and turn around, starting to walk away. He takes another drag, grimacing because youâre right, he doesnât like this brand, but heâs only doing this to spite you. He gets even more pissed off just seeing you walk away. âWhy are you always such a pain in the ass?â
âCould ask you the same thing.â you yell back.
He quickly puts out the cigarette and puts the bottles into the bag before catching up to you. âI'm not the one whoâs always being super mean and acting all mysterious about everything. Like, whatâs with all the attitude and snarky comments? Youâve been extra shitty lately.â
âFuck you.â
He scoffs, âYeah, thatâs what I thought. You know, youâre being shitty, you just donât wanna admit it.â
You stop walking and turn to look at him, throwing the pack at him. âThen go away.â
He grits his teeth and grabs the pack from the ground. He looks at you, âWhatever. I'm leaving. But just know, one of these days, youâre going to actually push someone away for good.â
âHopefully itâs you.â you say as you cross your arms.
âYeah, me too. Because I am so fed up with your bullshit.â
âGreat. Go away.â
He rolls his eyes and walks past you, his arm bumping into yours purposefully as he heads back to his dorm.
-
As Sunghoon makes his way to his lecture, he sees Yujin in the distance talking to some of her friends. He thinks about your conversation last night. He had hopes of confiding in you a bit more about how he felt, but of course thatâs not the way things panned out. He had no time to focus on that, even if he was feeling even worse now that he possibly lost his best friend for good. ShitâŚdid he really lose you for good? He feels his blood run cold, but heâs trying to forget it and focus on her. Sheâs his girlfriend, he has to remember that. He walks up to her, smiling a bit. She looks at him.
âOhâŚhey.â she says softly.
âHeyâŚcan we talk for a minute?â She nods her head and stands still. Sunghoon glances at her friends and then looks back at her. â...in private?â Yujin glances at her friends before following Sunghoon over into the library, taking a seat at a table near one of the back bookshelves, a little bit of space between the two of them. âIs there a reason youâve been acting like this lately? Do you notâŚwant to be with me anymore?â Sunghoon asks, just getting straight to the point.
Yujin is quiet for a moment. âEverything is fine.â she says.
He crosses his arms, feeling himself getting frustrated. Why canât people just be direct like you? Yeah, youâre not really direct with your feelings, but you are when it comes to anything else. âAre you sure? Because you've been really distant. We haven't been talking as often, you barely want to spend time with me... and it feels like you're avoiding being intimate with me, too. I had to almost beg you to spend time with me last week. Is there really nothing? Are you sure everything is fine?â Yujin listens and stays quiet. Sunghoon sighs. "You know, couples are supposed to communicate and shit, right? If something is bothering you, just come out and say it." Sure, he took a page from your book with what you said last night and perhaps some of what you said rang true after all, but heâs not really looking to give you a âyou were rightâ moment at this time.
âYou being friends with her bothers me.â Yujin says as she crosses her arms.
Sunghoon freezes for a moment, taken aback by her response. â...are you being serious?â he asks, not totally sure if sheâs just messing with him.
âYou hang out with her more than me to the point that I had to ask you to stop texting her whenever we would hang out and you always say youâre âjust best friendsâ, but I donât believe you. Do you have feelings for her?â
âDo YOU think I have feelings for her?â Sunghoon asks, becoming defensive while also avoiding answering her question directly.Â
âYes.â she answers, simply.
âWhat, do you think Iâll dump you for her or something?â
"She's a slut. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it. I don't care if you guys are close, I'm worried she is going to make a move on you and then you break up with me just for her to use you once and then ruin you; She's bad news." Yujin says.
He feels his jaw drop a bit at what she says. Did she seriously just say that? And so boldly? He feels himself become upset about the way she talks about you. He wants to defend you, he always has, but he frowns. What if this leads to Yujin breaking up with him? You did say last night that you two were done with each other, so why does it matter? He doesnât agree with Yujin, but he wants to save this relationshipâŚ
âYou really think I'm that naive? That I'd fall for a girl like her? Just because weâre close friends doesnât mean I automatically get feelings for her and forget about you. You know I'm smart enough to not get mixed up with someone like her.â he says, feeling like his heart is breaking as he says it. He wants Yujin to feel reassured, but after saying thisâŚit doesnât feel worth it.
âSo you agree.â Yujin says.
Sunghoon sits there, feeling like heâs about to throw up. Why is this so hard? Why canât he just say âyesâ and move on? Why canât he be happy with Yujin? He just nods his head. âI wouldnât fall for someone like her.â he says extremely quietly, almost as if he never wanted those words to leave his mouth. But they did and it was too late.
Yujin smiles, satisfied by his answer. She leans in and kisses his lips quickly, âI believe you.â she says softly.
Sunghoon hesitates, not glad that she believes him. Not glad that she said those things about you. Not glad that he said those things about you. Heâs just not happy. He gives her a small smile and kisses her cheek quickly. âIâm glad.â
-
You are sitting on a bench, scrolling through your phone as you wait for your next lecture to start soon. Sunghoon sees you as he exits his lecture hall and his gaze lingers on you for a moment. He sighs to himself a bit, feeling like he was being pulled in two different directions. The more he thinks about it, he feels as though Yujin was giving him an ultimatum to choose you or her. If she said it outright, there isnât a cell in his body that would hesitate to choose you. He thinks back to his conversation with Yujin in the library and he feels sick; he knows he did something wrong.Â
He walks over to you and takes a seat next to you, just wanting to make up and move on. To his surprise, however, you get up immediately and take your bag before walking away. He sits there, confused, but figures youâre still upset about the argument last night. He gets up and he follows you before catching up and gently grabbing your arm, but you end up taking it away and start walking again. He bites the inside of his cheek before stepping in front of you, âWhy are you walking away from me?â
âGet away from me.â
âNo.â he said as quickly as the words left your mouth.
You look at him, feeling your eyes sting, hot tears wanting to form, but you blink them away. âYou should probably go find your girlfriend, you wouldnât want to be seen hanging out with a slut like me, right?â you ask rhetorically.
âHey-,â he cuts you off, frowning instantly when you call yourself that. âStop itâŚyou know I donât see you that way.â
âThatâs a fucking lie; I heard you talking to Yujin. Or are you surprised about that too since you were in the library and someone like me couldnât possibly be in a place like that.â you say as you cross your arms, swallowing as if that will help mask your clear frustration.
â...what?â he asks quietly, freezing as he realizes what youâre saying.
âI heard you. I heard you agree with her when she called me a slut. I heard you say you "would never be stupid to fall for someone like me". Well, fuck you. Go be with your perfect girlfriend, asshole.â you say before you push past him, swallowing again, but this time to stop yourself from crying.
âWait-â he tries to grab your arm again, but you pull it away and keep walking. He feels his heart sink as he watches you walk away. The world felt as if it just collapsed. He feels like heâs sinking and as he watches you become further from him, he feels like heâs lost everything. Heâs holding his breath, not necessarily realizing he is, almost as if he exhales, heâs not sure he has the strength to take another breath knowing heâs hurt you; he doesnât deserve to.
-
Everything moves in slow motion, all voices muffled, as Sunghoon feels himself being dragged inside of a party by Yujin. He can hear and see her laughing and talking with her friends as they walk inside the loud and crowded atmosphere, but he feels as if heâs hollow. He stands there like a zombie as Yujin talks and greets some of her friends. Heâs not sure how it happened, especially since it was almost midnight and he honestly just wanted to go to sleep, but he somehow ended up here. His eyes felt heavy as they looked around the room, but he subconsciously stood up straighter when his eyes landed on you. It was like he had been resuscitated, his heart beating rapidly as he sees you and then he sees him.
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, noticing how Sungchan was standing closely to you, how his eyes scanned every inch of your body with some stupid, smug smirk on his face. Sunghoon rolled his eyes again and grimaced at the sight. He sees how you whisper something into his ear, Sungchan grinning as he places his hand on your hip. Suddenly, Sunghoonâs heart stopped again as his gaze fixates on his hand. His hand grips Yujinâs tightly as he clenches his jaw and his other hand curls into a fist, his fingernails digging into the palm of his hand. His breathing becomes heavy as he sees you smile, smile in a way heâs never had you smile at him before as your hand caresses Sungchanâs cheek while you clearly flirt back with him. Sunghoon was livid. He feels like an extra in his own life as he watches you fall for someone like that.
âBabyâŚ?â Yujin asks, loosening her hand and taking it away from him since he was practically cutting off her circulation.
âIâm fine.â he mumbles, hints of anger and annoyance clear in his tone. He doesnât look at her as he answers and she catches on.
She looks to where his gaze is and then she looks back at him, upset. âWhy are you looking at her?â she asks as she crosses her arms. âYou told me you donât have feelings for her. Iâm your girlfriend, not her.â
âStop, Yujin, itâs not like thatâŚâ he mumbles, annoyed as he keeps looking at you and Sungchan. He watches as Sungchan puts his arm around your waist and he feels like the air has just been knocked out of him. His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he glares at the two of you, wanting nothing more than to shove him off of you.
Yujin scoffs, âI donât even see how you could have feelings for a slut like her.â she mumbles, taking a sip of a drink her friend brought for her. Sunghoon keeps his attention on you. How Sungchan keeps you close, whispers in your ear to make you giggle and you indulge in it, how he touches you, and how he looks at you as if heâs some sick animal that wants to devour you. âDid you even hear me?â Yujin asks, pissed off.
âYeah, I heard you.â Sunghoon mumbles as he continues watching the two of you.
Yujin glares at him and then grabs his hand, dragging him away from her friends. Sunghoon just goes along with it and as Yujin starts dragging him upstairs, Sungchan leas in and kisses you. Sunghoonâs eyes widen as he continues going upstairs with Yujin, her dragging him into an empty bedroom and closes the door behind them. Sunghoon feels like all thoughts had escaped him when he saw that and he stands there with only one thing on his mind: you.
âLetâs have sex.â Yujin says as she looks at him.
Sunghoon snaps out of it and looks at her, feeling like this is his first time seeing her tonight. He looks at her in confusion, not wanting to since he only has you on his mind, but he doesnât want to upset her any further, so he nods his head. Yujin pulls him towards her and kisses him. He hesitates, feeling himself grimace, but he tries to ignore it and kiss her back. He doesnât want to be up here with her, he wants to be down there with you. As they continue to kiss, Yujin begins to undress herself and Sunghoon feels himself tense up. He tries to forget about you and focus on her, thinking maybe helping her undress would help, but it doesnât. Not even a little bit.Â
Yujin moves them over to the bed as she keeps kissing him and he sits there, partially kissing her back and also sitting stiff as a board. He knows this is supposed to be hot for him, having a practically naked girl on him, but he only finds himself wishing it was you. Yujin kisses down his neck as she takes off his shirt and he feels like heâs zoning out, not moving a muscle. Yujin moves her hands along his chest and down his body and then stops kissing him as she looks at him.
âYouâre not even hard.â she says as she frowns. Sunghoon just stares at her, not necessarily surprised, but he still feels bad. "What the hell do you even like about her? She's a fucking whore who opens her legs for any and every guy. She has nothing else to offer besides her fucking pussy, which probably is already stretched beyond repair." Yujin says, angry. "She's nothing! She's not even special and yet she always gets any guy she wants. Well, why does she get you too?" Yujin tears up. "I'M your girlfriend, not her! Do you even love me?" Yujin asks, frustrated.
Sunghoon knows her anger is justified and he feels awful for feeling like he wants her to be you instead. As he watches and hears her say all of these things, he feels bad for treating her like this, but he also becomes angry at listening to what sheâs saying about you. He feels bad for saying it feels like he doesnât know you, because he does, and he knows youâre nothing like who she says you are.
âAnswer me!â Yujin yells.
âI do love you.â Sunghoon says quickly.
â...do you love her?â
He stays quiet. Does he love you? He doesnât know how to answer that. He knows he cares about you more than anyone else, he knows that even when you two fight, he would never want anyone else but you to be by his side, he knows that youâre the only one who gets him, he knows he likes making you smile and laugh and sometimes when you look at him, he feels like he can just look back at you forever. But is that love? Then, what is it he feels for Yujin? Does he love you and not her? How come he never realized it before? Did he always feel this way?
"Why the hell did you even ask me out? Why did you even ask me to be your girlfriend if all this time, you've wanted her? If all this time you've been in love with her?" Yujin asks, furious.
What is he supposed to say? Has he always been in love with you? He thinks for a moment. He thinks about why he asked her out in the first place, about a week after you hooked up with some guy after you two just started college. Was that the reason? Was it because he just wanted something and he knows deep down, you donât want the same, so he found it somewhere else? YouâŚeverything has always been about you, his whole world has always revolved around you.
Yujin gets up and gets dressed. "If you want to be with her so badly, fine. But just know, she's still a whore. She'll just use you and then toss you aside." Yujin says as she finishes getting dressed. "But by all means, go sleep with that slut. We're done." Yujin says as she leaves the room.
Sunghoon sits on the bed in silence. Just great. Now, he doesnât have a girlfriend and worst of all, he still canât have you. He sits there for a moment longer before getting up and putting back on his shirt. Screw this party, he shouldnât have come anyway. He walks out of the bedroom and goes downstairs, feeling like his mind is in a different place as he walks outside. He stops and notices you sitting on the curb, smoking a cigarette. He feels relieved, not seeing you in Sungchanâs arms, and for a split second, he wishes he could just walk over and take you into his, but he pushes that thought away and just decides to take a seat beside you on the curb instead. You scoot away a bit from him, silence looming over the two of you and he feels even worse.Â
âYou shouldnât be sitting here, you know. Your girlfriend might get pissy.â you mumble as you exhale some smoke.
âIâm not with Yujin anymore.â
You pause for a moment, â...I saw you two go upstairs.â
âShe justâŚgot upset that I couldnât get hard. I just had so many thoughts running through my mindâŚâ he trails off, not wanting to ramble on about it.
âWhatever.â you say as you take another drag.
âI wish I never asked her out.â he says before taking a deep breath, feeling like he said something he didnât even realize he was keeping a secret, not even from himself.
âWhy are you telling me this? In case you forgot, I am not your friend anymore. Not after what you and her said about me this morning.â You take another drag, âIt's one thing for her to call me a slut, I don't care about her, but you? You agreed with her. You made fun of me. You're supposed to be my best friend and you say I'm a slut and then that you aren't "stupid" enough to date "someone like me"? Fuck you, honestly. I was so pissed when I heard that. I know we fought the other night, but I never thought you would say that shit about me.â You take another drag. âSo stop talking to me about your problems like we're still friends. You want nothing to do with "someone like me"? Well, then, you got it.â
Sunghoon stays silent, feeling as if everything around him is crumbling. Youâre sitting maybe a foot away from him, but he feels like youâre on the other side of the planet. âIâm sorry.â he says softly, feeling ashamed to have talked about you like that.
You shake your head and continue smoking. âWhatever.â
âI miss you.â he says suddenly. âAnd, I shouldnât have said any of that this morning. I was trying to reassure Yujin at your expense andâŚthat was a big fuck up by me. None of what I said was worth any pain Iâve caused you.â
âWell, I donât miss you. I donât even care.â
Sunghoon stays quiet for a moment. âI have to fix this. Not because I feel like it will make me feel better to know I said sorry, because that doesnât fix anything; that doesnât make you feel better. I want to fix this because, even if you donât believe me, I value our friendship more than anything in the world.â
You scoff and donât reply, blinking away your tears as you continue smoking. âI donât need you. Think what you want about me, I donât give a fuck.â
âHeyâŚâ he says tentatively as he notices you blinking away tears. He feels like he got punched in the gut and hates himself for knowing heâs the one that caused you to feel this way. âI know I hurt youâŚa lot.â he admits. He doesnât know if you would want to listen to anything else he has to say, but he wants nothing more than for everything to go back to normal. To have you back. To just have you look at him. Anything.
You scoff, âYou? As if.â you say as you put out your cigarette. âDonât flatter yourself. Like I care about your opinion.â you say as you stand up. âI donât need your pity and I donât need your friendship. I donât need you.â you say as you walk away and back into the party.
He doesnât hesitate to follow you, not wanting to let you go. He canât. He canât bear the thought of you actually not being a part of his life, not for one goddamn second. He tries to catch up to you, but he stops in his tracks when he sees you go back over to Sungchan. It feels as though time has stopped and he was cursed with having to watch you be with him for the rest of his life. You whisper something to Sungchan, prompting him to grin and put his hands on your waist. Sunghoon feels like heâs about to collapse as he watches Sungchan whisper something back to you before taking your hand and leading you upstairs. He wants to do something, take you away from him, tell you that you mean so much more and are so much more than whatever Sungchan thinks about you. How you mean everything to him and watching you walk upstairs with some other guy feels as though you are taking away every piece of Sunghoon, breaking him apart. But he doesnât and an hour passes before you walk back downstairs with Sungchan, his arm around your waist.
Sungchan whispers something in your ear before letting you go and walking over to his friends, all of them laughing and teasing him. You just walk back out of the party, feeling sick to your stomach; as if you just made the biggest mistake of your life; shame. As you walk down the sidewalk, the night suddenly feels much colder than before. You take out your cigarettes and start smoking another one. Sunghoon follows and catches up, âCan I have one?â he asks, not knowing what else to say, but wanting to say something. You stay quiet, but eventually extend the one you were smoking to him. You stop walking as he takes it, taking a drag as he stands beside you.Â
You hold out your hand, wanting it back and after he takes another inhale from it, he exchanges it back. You take another drag, staying quiet, as you extend it back to him. He takes it as you two share the cigarette and he hands it back to you, almost wanting to just hold your hand instead. You take a long drag, holding the smoke for a while before slowly exhaling. â...you were right.â you say quietly as you hold the cigarette out for him. âIt is lonely.â
He takes the cigarette, feeling hopeful that this is the beginning of an honest conversation, and relieved that youâre opening up. He hands it back to you, âAre you lonely? Do you miss having a relationship?â he asks, softly, wanting to make sure heâs being cautious so he doesnât hurt you again.
âNot the ones I used to be in, no. Those guys wereâŚwell, you know.â
âYeahâŚâ he mumbles. You sigh and take a seat on the curb. He follows suit, seeing if youâll say something else, but deciding to break the silence. âSoâŚwhat kind of guy do you want?â he asks, deep down hoping for a certain answer.Â
You donât answer him and instead, ignore his question. In all honesty, you donât know. Well, you do, but youâre too scared to admit it. âYou were also right about me being a slut.â
âI-I didnât mean it-â
âYou know it, everybody else knows itâŚand I always knew it.â You take your cigarette back and take a drag. âHearing you say it sucked, though, but I know itâs the truth.â
âI shouldnât have said it. I was so caught up in trying to make Yujin feel better and fix things between us when it wasnât worth it. Not when it came at your expense.â
âI know.â
âI shouldâve still stuck up for you. It didnât matter if she was my girlfriend, you donât deserve to be talked about like that.â
You shrug and hand him the cigarette, lighting a new one for yourself to smoke. âI donât care anymore. Hooking up with Sungchan just now made me realize it. Seeing and hearing his friends tease him for itâŚâ you take a long drag, âI knew thatâs what I am.â
He does the same and looks at you. âDid you want to hook up with him?â
âNo.â
âThen, why did you do it?â You ignore his question and keep smoking. âHeyâŚâ he says softly. He knows youâre avoiding his question, but he wants to hear what you have to say.
âWhat happened with you and Yujin tonight?â you ask, wanting to change the subject.
âJustâŚan argument.â
âAboutâŚ?â
âThatâs not important.â
âYou wanted to tell me all about it earlier. You said something about you not getting hard and regretting asking her out. What the hell happened? I thought you loved her or whatever.â you mumble as you inhale more smoke, a part of you hoping it chokes you.
âI do love her. But I guessâŚit meant something different to her. She wanted things from me I couldnât do.â
âLike what.â
âLikeâŚher not wanting us to be friends anymore.â
You scoff before continuing to smoke. âYou shouldâve chosen her.â
Sunghoon raises an eyebrow as he takes a drag. âYou think I shouldn't have chosen my friend who's been with me through thick and thin over someone who was basically controlling who I talked to?â
âShe was just controlling that you don't talk to me. Can't blame her, she probably thought I would try to sleep with you or something. Besides, since when did us being friends for so long suddenly matter? It didn't when you agreed with her about me being a slut.â
âIt matters to me.â He says, feeling his heart sink a little at your words. It seemed like you didnât think your friendship meant anything. He takes another drag and sighs quietly before continuing. âYouâre my best friend. I care about you more than anyone else.â You stay silent as you continue to smoke. âDo you really think I donât care about you?â he asks, softly. You just keep smoking, not really sure how to answer. He sighs to himself as he does the same and his mind wanders to thinking about you and Sungchan again. He rolls his eyes to himself as he tries to push those thoughts out of his head.
âYou asked me if I ever felt heartbreak when we fought that night, talking about if thatâs why I have commitment issues or whatever.â you say as you take another drag. âYeahâŚI have.â
âWas the heartbreak fromâŚâ he letâs the question linger in the air for a moment, âa relationship?â You shake your head. âSoâŚwhat was it from then? Who broke your heart?â
You stay silent for a moment, just smoking â...i didn't realize I fell in love with him until he got a girlfriend, well, his first serious girlfriend. At first, I didn't really care, but thenâŚâ you go quiet for a moment as you keep looking ahead, not at him. âThe way he talked about her, would smile a certain way when he was with her, like he's never smiled at me before...laughing at jokes they shared...seeing him kiss her, hold her handâŚâ you take another drag, âholding her hand..â you repeat, like youâre lost in thought. âIt's something so stupid and simple, but I've never had a guy hold my hand romantically...but he held hers and I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't do a damn thing but suddenly wish I was his girlfriend instead. And then I realized. I loved him.â you take another drag, âI loved him and he was in love with someone else.â
He stayed quiet the whole time you talked. He took in every single word. He took in how you said every single word, how you looked as you spoke. He felt his heart break for you. The way you talked about it was nothing like heâs ever heard you talk about; soâŚinnocent. âDid you ever try to tell him how you felt?â
You stay quiet for a moment as you swallow. âI almost did. One time. I just felt so tired from pretending and I didn't want to just hookup with anyone anymore. I wanted to be his more than anything in the world. I almost told him and thenâŚâ you take another drag from your cigarette. âHe started telling me about how he finally had sex with his girlfriend. How hot she is. How he had never seen anyone so beautiful. How he couldn't believe he was so lucky to be dating her. Fuck-â you pinch your thigh to stop yourself from crying as you take another drag. âI felt so...gross. I had never had a guy say that about me, never had a guy be proud to be with me, but the way he talked about her and everything he was saying...I knew he would laugh in my face if I, just some slut, was in love with him; he would feel grossed out or whatever. No matter how close I thought we were, I knew right then and there I would never be like her. Never like the girl he wanted.â you take another drag, âSo I didn't say anything.â
Sunghoon stayed quiet again, feeling awful. He hated that you thought about yourself that way. He hated that other people had made you feel thatâŚhim included. He hated this guy, especially, for making you feel this way. What a piece of shit. You deserve nothing but the best and this guy pulls this bullshit with you? He was about ready to punch him in the face. âAnd youâre still friends with him? After he did all of this to you?â
âHeâs all Iâve ever had.â
âHeâs not all you have, though. What about me?â he asks, intending to make something positive out of this all. He just wants you to know how precious you are to him because he cares about you so much.Â
This, doesnât help whatsoever, and you feel like youâre about to burst into tears. You canât tell if heâs the idiot or if you are; maybe the latter. But when he says that, you just feel like sobbing, curling up into a ball, and dying right then and there. You pinch your thigh again, to prevent yourself from crying because you absolutely loathe it.
He notices and immediately puts his hand on yours to stop you. He hates seeing you like this and he looks at you, not wanting you to suppress this anymore.
His hand on yours, however, makes you feel even worse. Worse because it makes your stomach do flips and you can feel your heart beat faster. Worse because you know it only carries the connotation of a friend comforting a friendâŚnothing more. You pull your hand away and continue smoking.
He doesnât say anything and he doesnât try to take your hand back. It hurts him to see you pull yourself away. He just wants to make you feel better, feel safe, feel loved. Feel nothing but happiness because thatâs all you deserve. But you donât. He wants to give you everything, and so, he tries again to comfort you. He reaches for your hand, gently taking it into his, it enveloping yours as he holds it as if it is the most delicate thing on earth.
âDonât.â you whisper, taking your hand away.
You didnât want to. God, you didnât want to. His hand felt like silk against yours, but you felt like you didnât deserve it. Compared to his, your hand was like felt, worth far less than his. You didnât want him to hold your hand, not like this. You wanted it to mean something, have some sort of value. Not for comfort. Not because heâs your best friend. Not because he felt bad. But because he loved you. Because he wanted to hold your hand and be proud as he held it. Because he wanted to claim you as is. Because you wanted to be his.
He lets go of your hand and stays silent for a moment. It was as if a part of him died inside as you pulled away your hand. All the thoughts that he was having a few seconds ago were replaced by sadness. His hands tightened into fists from the frustration of being unable to comfort you or take away your sadness. He wanted so desperately to try again, but he knew that there was nothing he could do right now. Slowly, he takes another drag of his cigarette, and you do the same with yours.
âDid you cry whenever he would talk about his girlfriend like that? Did you cry anytime he complimented her?â
You donât answer for a while. âYeah. When he told me he loved her, I cried later. After that, I pretended like I didn't care. And for a while, it worked. I would just hook up with guys and I would still talk and hang out with him because he didn't treat me like what everyone else saw me as. He never did. And that's one of the reasons I fell in love with him, I guess, but then sometimes...he would start talking about her and then I just...felt worse. At some point, I just kind of felt numb about it, especially after he told me about the first time they had sex. He talked about it like it was so special...like she was so special...and I just decided then and there I couldn't love him. So, I just pretended and after a while, I thought I didn't love him anymore, but one night, he started talking about how he couldn't lose his girlfriend, how he wanted to make things with her work and I felt that same feeling again, like I was going to be sick. Then, I heard him say what he really thought about me and that was the last time I cried about him.â
âWhat did he say about you? Did he insult you?â he asks as he feels himself becoming angry, wondering what this jerk couldâve possibly said about you to make you feel this way. But, you donât answer, you just remain quiet and that made him want to punch this guy even more. âDo you miss him?â he asks, quietly.
â...i miss being oblivious to the fact that I love him.â
He feels his heart drop when you say that. You still love him? He swallows, feeling like heâs choking and as if all of the oxygen has been sucked out of the atmosphere. âSoâŚyou do love him. Youâre still in love with him?â Once you ignore him again, the answer is clear. âYou do still love himâŚâ he mumbles. Anger courses through his veins because youâre in love with someone so fucking awful. How could you give all of yourself to someone who is too blind to see how much youâre worth? How much you mean and value you provide to the meaning of life itâs goddamn self? He watches as you continue smoking. âSo, you mean to tell me, after everything heâs done to you, you still love him?â
âHe doesnât know.â
âHe doesnât know youâre in love with him?â
âI told you, I never told him.â
This doesnât help him feel any less bad for you. Some douche was out and about being happy and in love while you suffer on the sidelines? âAre you ever going to tell him?â
You shake your head as you look down. How could you? Especially since youâre delivering this whole pathetic monologue and he still isnât taking any goddamn hint.Â
âIs it because heâs still with his girlfriend?â
âI donât want to talk about this.â you say as you finish your cigarette.
He becomes frustrated, âIs he?â
âNo.â
âSo, they broke up.â You ignore his question once more. He waits a few seconds before speaking up again, âIâm taking that as a âyesâ then.â
âWhy does it matter? Why do you care?â
âWhy do I care?â he asks as if this question has the most obvious answer. He scoffs and takes another drag out of frustration. âBecause Iâm your best friend, dumbass.â
This only makes you frown as you pinch your thigh again to stop the tears threatening to fall. He frowns as well when he sees this and reaches his hand over again. âStop.â he says as he grabs your hand. You look down at your hands and you take yours away again. He feels a lump form in his throat when you pull your hand away as a pit of sadness just keeps growing and growing in his stomach. âWhy are you doing that? âŚdo you honestly think I donât care about you?â You just keep staring ahead of you, not looking at him once. He takes another drag and sighs. âHave I ever given you a reason for you to think that I donât care? Have I hurt you like that guy did?â
His questions make you stay silent for a long time. You wish that you could just disappear. Or that you could go back in time and stop yourself from having these stupid feelings. OrâŚthat you never met him in the first place. Maybe then things would be easier. Better.
âJustâŚanswer me.â he says, pleading, almost. He wants you to understand that he is here for you, he always will be and nothing is going to get in the way of that anymore. He wants this to be clear, so he tries to hold your hand again to show his support, but you take it away once he does.
âAre you pretending or are you actually this clueless?â you ask, becoming frustrated, your voice having a hint of pain in it.
His stomach tightened when you rejected him once more. He doesnât look at you, suddenly afraid to see your expression. He doesnât know what to do, how to make you feel better. He stays silent for a moment and continues smoking. âPretending about what?â he asks. You become increasingly frustrated and pinch your thigh again. He notices and grabs your hand again, âStop.â he says sternly, but you pull your hand away.Â
âJesus, youâre the guy.â
He feels himself freeze. âWhat the hell do you mean âIâm the guyâ?â
âAre you dense?â you raise an eyebrow. âYouâre the guy Iâve been talking about this whole damn time!â
â...iâm the guy?â he asks, completely stunned. You let out a huff of frustration and stand up, walking away. He doesnât hesitate to stand up and go after you. He grabs your arm to stop you. âWait, you canât just leaveâŚâ
You keep pinching your thigh, a part of you believing it will wake you up from this nightmare as you avoid his gaze. You take your arm away from his grip. âJust forget it.â
âNo. You just said Iâm the guy, right? The one youâre in love with?â He asks, all of his focus on you. You ignore his question and turn around, walking away. He groans and he moves in front of you, stopping you. âYou love me?â But you just avoid his gaze and donât answer his question. He sighs, âIâm not letting you leave until you tell me.â
âNo.â
He frowns. âLook at me.â he whispers. âPleaseâŚâ he moves closer to you. âDo you love me?â
âWhy does it matter?â
âYou tell me. Why doesnât it matter?â
You punch your thigh harshly a few times as you finally look at him. Your breath hitches as tears well in your eyes, despite you trying to ignore them. âBecause Iâm just a slut.â
He grabs your hand and stops you. He feels panicked, not knowing what to do or say. He doesnât want you to cry or punish yourself. âStop it. Stop with that bullshit. Youâre not a slut, donât you dare ever call yourself that.â
âYou said it yourself. You agree with everyone else. I know you don't feel the same. I know you'll never talk about me the way you talk about Yujin or see me the way you see her. I know you said you guys broke up, but so what? I know what I am and I know that's all I'll ever be.â
He feels tears prick his own eyes as he listens to you. He shakes his head, âStop that. Stop saying that Iâll never feel the same. Stop saying that youâre just a slut.â
âIt doesnât matter.â
âIt does matter! It matters to me. Youâre not just âsome slutâ. Youâre my best friend.â
You frown as you feel the urge to cry become stronger. You take your hand away and you pinch your thigh again, just wanting the tears to go away. What he said made you feel awful. Itâs not what you wanted to hear. You didnât want to be just thatâŚand he just kept reminding you that thatâs all you are. â...do you honestly think that makes me feel better?â
He frowns, âFine. Maybe it doesnât make you feel better. But it should. Because itâs the fucking truth.â
âAre you even thinking about what I told you? Are you even thinking about how you're the guy I've been talking about? How every time you talked about Yujin, every time I saw you hold her hand, how you talked about her when you told me about the first time you guys had sex, that I just wanted to curl up and die? You don't get it. You calling me your best friend doesn't make me feel any fucking better. It makes me feel worse than when people call me a slut. But I don't want you to stand here and try to make me feel better, because if you think telling me you care about me because I'm your 'best friend' is going to make me feel better, then you haven't listened to a damn thing I've said.â
He stares at you sympathetically. He stares at you as he realizes just how badly heâs broken your heart. As he realizes he broke your heart.Â
âI don't want to be your best friend. I don't want you to tell me I'm your best friend.â You keep pinching your thigh harder, but tears roll down your cheeks anyway. âI wanted it to be me.â you say as you cry even though you keep pinching harder. âI wanted to hold your hand romantically. I wanted you to smile at me the way you did with her. I wanted you to talk about me the way you talked about her.â Your breath hitches as you cry and pinch your thigh harder, your nails digging into your skin. âI wanted to be special to you. I wanted you to tell me you love me. I wanted to be your girlfriend...more than anything in the world.â You cry harder even though you try not to and you dig your nails more into your thigh.
Heâs never seen you cry. Not when you broke your arm, not when your pet goldfish died, not when your first boyfriend broke up with you, not even when you get incredibly frustrated. He has never seen you cry. But he hates it. He doesnât want to see you so sad, so hurt, in so much painâŚand he hated it even more because heâthe one person you loved more than anything elseâwas the one who was making you feel this way. He pulls you into him, hugging you tightly, just wanting to take your pain away, just wanting you toâŚfeel loved. But you push him away and wipe your tears, and he notices the imprints from your nails on your thighs. He doesnât even realize it, but he reaches his hand out and gently touches the marks as he looks at them. He touches the ridges softly and your skin feels so smooth to him, so precious, but you push his hand away. His eyes travel up to meet yours and he sees youâve stopped crying.
âWhy wouldnât you just have told me how you felt?â he asks, quietly.
âFor starters, you had a girlfriend. The other reason: it doesnât matter.â
âWhat if I never got with Yujin? What if I was single the whole time?â
âI didnât realize I loved you until you started dating herâŚâ
âWhy her? Iâve dated other girls before, so why her?â
You shrug, âSheâs the only one you really seemed to be serious aboutâŚthe only one you told you loved. BesidesâŚIâm not some sort of homewrecker.â
âI wish you told me.â he whispers. âYou were never going to tell me?â
âNo.â
âSo, you were just hoping I would never find out?â
âYes.â
âSo, you were just going to keep that secret for the rest of your life?â
âYeah.â
âSo, you were just going to live with that pain forever?â
âAre you going to keep asking the same question?â
âI just want to knowâŚâ he says as if heâs desperate. âWhyâŚwhy would you not tell me?â
âBecause you were with Yujin! Because you kept telling me how much you loved her! How pretty you thought she was, how happy you were to be with her, how smart and kind and funny and fucking perfect you thought she was! You were happy. You were happy with someone who wasn't me and although that killed me, you were happy. I couldn't do that to you.â you say as your voice breaks.
âSo that justified you suffering in silence? Why would you rather see me happy while you were in pain?â
You look at him like the answer was obvious. How does he not get it? You stare at him as you remain quiet, looking at him as if itâs your last time. âBecause I love you.â you say, softly.
He feels like youâre looking at him as if he is the most special person to walk on earth. He swallows out of nervousness as he realizes you gave him your heart completely. âYou love me so much that you were willing to put yourself through hell just to see me be happy?â He doesnât feel worthy of thatâŚbut you seem to think he is. You love him.
âWouldnât you have done the same for Yujin?â
You donât want to hear him answer this. You donât want to know, but you feel like he doesnât understand. You feel like you keep repeating yourself and heâs relishing in it.Â
He doesnât know how to answer. Would he? Hearing how you describe your love for him, he realizes what he felt for Yujin maybe wasnât love. Maybe it was comfort. Or security. Or the fact that someone wanted to be with him so seriously. Maybe he did love her, butâŚnot the way you love him. This sounds like love. This sounds like what he was supposed to feel. âYesâŚâ he says, not really sure if thatâs true. He wants to believe he loves her. He wants to believe he didnât waste almost four years on something that ends up meaning absolutely nothing. He has to love her.
âThen you get it.â
âDid you just hope we would break up one day so you and I would get together?â
You sigh, âYou still don't get it. I know you don't feel the same way. I know I am not the type of girl you want to be with. I'm not the type of girl any guy wants to be with seriously.â
How could you say that about yourself? Sunghoon doesnât believe any of that, not for a single fucking second. âThat isnât true. Youâre smart, kind, funny, and pretty.â
âStop.â
âNo. Itâs true. Everything I just said is true. You think no guy would be able to fall in love with you, but they would. You would make an awesome girlfriend.â he tries to reassure you.
You donât want any guy.
âYouâre not making me feel better.â
âWhat am I supposed to do, then? Agree with the bullshit youâre saying about yourself? Because thatâs not fucking happening.â
âWhat I want you to sayâŚyou canât.â
âTry me. Tell me.â
You just look at him. He doesnât get it. He isnât saying it because he doesnât feel the same. This realization makes you feel like youâre crumpling. You look at him, defeated. If you have to tell him, you know he would only say it to make you feel better, not because he actually wants to. That. Thatâs what hurts the most. He would say it because youâre his best friendâŚbut you donât want to be.
â...are you going to try and get back together with Yujin?â
He pauses. He thinks about it for a second. âRight nowâŚI donât know. I guess a part of me wants to try still. Does that make me shitty?â Heâs not sure why he does. Yujin is the first girl heâs ever told he lovedâŚand he doesnât say it often. Maybe heâs like you, in a way. He doesnât really like saying stuff like that. It felt weird when he said it. But he thinks thatâs just because heâs never said it before.Â
âWhy would I?â
âI feel like an asshole for even considering it after everything youâve told me-â
âSheâs the one you love.â
âIâm not so sure about that.â he says, truthfully. He just needs to think. He just needs one damn second to think.
âThen let me make it clear: be with her. From my perspective, she's the one you want. What I told you, how I so stupidly cried in front of you, that doesn't matter. I told you this earlier: you should've chosen her. So just, make up with her tomorrow or whatever and be with her.â you swallow. â...but I can't be your friend.â
He sees you giving up. He hears it. He hates it. His mind is running a thousand miles per minute, he canât fucking think and itâs pissing him off. âItâs not that easy. I canât just âchooseâ between the two of you. Iâm confused, I justâŚI want to be with whoever makes me happy.â
Heâs always been happy with you. Sure, you two fought, but you always got over it. You make him happy. So goddamn happy. But heâs scared. He just gave nearly four years of his life to YujinâŚwhat if itâs because he does love her?Â
âThatâs her.â
âHow are you so sure itâs not you?â
âI know.â
He groans in frustration. âSo, I have to choose between the two of you?â
You. He chooses you. Heâs not sure about the rest of it, but all he knows is that he chooses you. Four years with Yujin doesnât compare to the years you and him have had together. Nothing else matters. You. Just you.
âJust be with her.â
âWhat if I want to be with you?â
He hasnât thought about it. Maybe he chooses you only as a best friend. What if he doesnât choose you for love? âŚdoes he love you? He recalls the teasing from classmates when you guys were younger, but he's never really given any thought to it possibly becoming real. Does he love you the same way he loves Yujin? Does he even love Yujin? He doesnât knowâŚhe just doesnât know.
âYou donât.â
âAnd what makes you so sure that I choose Yujin over you? What makes you so sure youâre ânot enoughâ for me?â
â...because you wouldâve chosen me first.â
âI can still choose you.â
You sigh, âYou're making this complicated. You know she's the one you love, stop feeling bad for me like I'm some lost puppy and just admit it. I don't want your pity and I certainly don't want you to say you âchoose meâ because you're confusing your pity for feelings. Stop saying I'm this great girl and stop saying any guy would be lucky to have me, that makes me feel worse. So just make up with Yujin and get back with her. Reassure her that you love her because you do and tell her I won't be a problem anymore because you and I aren't anything anymore. Problem solved.â
Is this really what you believed? Is this really what you thought? He just needed some time, he canât think. He doesnât know what to think anymore. You were speaking as if it was impossible for him to love you, but what if he does? How is he supposed to know? How did he know with Yujin? Heâs questioning whether he even loved her since he canât even compare how he feels about you with whatever he felt with her. He just knows itâs stronger. But stronger in what way? He sees how youâre looking at him and he realizes the only way for him to succeed in making you feel betterâwhich is what he truly wantsâis to just listen to you. He doesnât want to. But he wants to see you be happy, even if it means he isnât.
âAre you really sure this is what you want me to do?â he barely asks, the words leaving his mouth without any fervor, as if he never wanted to utter them in the first place. As if he doesnât want to hear your answer; see you walk out of his life.
You donât answer him. You just look at him before walking past him. You hold your breath, knowing that once you exhale, youâre going to start sobbing. You felt so lonely. So lonely. Youâve always had himâŚand then you lost him to YujinâŚand now, youâve lost him for good.
He doesnât turn around to look at you as you walk away, because he knows if he does, he will run after you and that clearly isnât what you want. You want to let him go, at least thatâs how he understands it. He doesnât want that. He wants you. He knows that much, he knows he needs you. Heâs not sure how things will look without you now. He never thought it would be like this, but here he is. âŚwhy does this feel so much worse than when Yujin walked away from him? Why does this hurt more than his actual breakup? The reason is one he doesnât want to admit. He realizes the answer and he refuses to let it grow to fruition. He doesnât know why it took him until now to figure it out, but heâll realize that later. He wanted timeâŚnow, heâs got it.
-
Deja vu. Thatâs what this all feels like. Here Sunghoon was, again, at another stupid frat party around midnight. Here he was, again, with Yujin. He took your advice, he decided to apologize and get back together with her, and these past few months without you have felt like torture. Even using torture to describe it seems too dull. He has thought about nothing but you. Heâs heard around campus about people youâve hooked up with, but he doesnât feed into it. As he stands here with Yujin at this godforsaken party, all he can feel is regret. He leans against a wall as Yujin talks with her friends and he practically chugs his drink. He doesnât even want to leave the party because he doesn't think it's worth to waste any of his wants on anything but you. You make up all of his desires and he wants nothing more than for you to be back into his life. He finishes the rest of his drink and to his surprise, he does see you. He stands up straighter as he looks at you, but feels like his insides are on fire when he realizes youâre making out with Sungchan. On the couch. On the couch, you are making out with Sungchan. On the couch, Sungchan is running his hands along your hips and waist. On the couch, you let him.Â
You would be lying if you said you didnât miss Sunghoon. A part of you went missing the night you walked away from him. Youâve seen him around campus with Yujin and eventually, it finally felt like you were over it all. Over him. You wouldnât say youâve been getting around quite frequently, but you wonât lie when you say that you did get with some guys to help get over him. It didnât work. But you wonât admit to that. To you, at least, youâre over it. Over him. Sungchan helped a bit with some of the lonely nights, but you two arenât anything serious. Heâs not into that sort of thing and, hey, neither are youâŚso this is fine. He doesnât lie to you about how he feels or what he wants and for that, youâre grateful. Although, you do have to admit, making out with him feels boring. Being with him feels boring. Itâs not fun like it used to beâŚand even then, you arenât completely sure it was even fun in the first place. Whatever, youâll get into it at some point.
Sunghoon watches, now it really feels like deja vu. Is he dreaming? OrâŚis this him getting a second chance? Is this when he can finally pull you away from Sungchan and be there for you? Finally tell you how he feels? How he felt the whole timeâŚ? Suddenly, his spirits are slightly lifted, that is, until Yujin crosses her arms and scoffs before shoving him. Sunghoon is surprised and turns his attention towards her. Some people look at them, but Yujin doesnât care, she just looks at Sunghoon, furious.
âDo you even want me to be your girlfriend?â
Maybe honesty wouldnât be best right now. âI doâŚâ
âThen stop looking at her.â
âLetâsâŚnot make a scene.â he says, trying to calm her down.
âJust be honest for once: do you love me or her?â
He doesnât know how to answer. He knows his answer, heâs had months to figure it out. ButâŚyou made yourself clear. You were done with each other. He sighs. âCan I get a moment to figure it out?â he asks, honestly a bit surprised he didnât just cave and reassure her.
Yujin frowns and scoffs. âLet me ask you this, then. Do you wish that you were making out with her?â
He looks back at you and Sungchan, seeing him whisper something to you and you giggling before he kisses you again. He looks back at Yujin. âYeah.â he swallows, gathering all of his courage. âBut, that soundsâŚawful. Itâs like you want me to admit I regret getting back together with you or something-â
âDo you?â
âYes.â he answers without hesitation. He feels all of his muscles tense up. Did he really just say that? WellâŚitâs the truth, but he never thought he would say it. He feelsâŚbetter.
Yujin quickly squashes that by slapping him, âWeâre done.â she says before storming out, her friends following. Sure, the slap hurt, but as Sunghoon looks back at you and SungchanâŚthe pain from the slap seems so insignificant in comparison.
You decide to tell Sungchan youâre getting a drink, so you get up from the couch and go into the kitchen. You pour yourself a drink and once you do, you walk to the backyard and take a seat on the patio.Â
Sunghoon figures you want to be aloneâŚbut finds himself following you outside anyway. He walks over to you cautiously. You and him have spoken consistently for practically your whole lives, but he finds himself struggling to even say a simple sentence or ask a question. The time youâve spent apart was multiple daysâŚtoo many fucking days in his opinion. He canât stand it. âCan I sit here?â he asks, referencing the spot beside you. You shrug as you take a sip of your drink. He feels relieved, baby steps, right? He takes a seat beside you and thinks for a moment on how to keep the conversation going. âSoâŚwhat were you telling Sungchan?â âŚhas he lost the ability to socialize or something because why was this the question he asks? He bites his bottom lip a bit in frustration at himself.
âSpying on me?â you tease as you extend your cup, offering him some.
Sunghoon chuckles softly and shakes his head. Hearing your voice for the first time in months makes him remember just how much heâs missed you. He feels like everything in his life is restored and he smiles a bit. âYou guys were all over each other on the couch, is it really weird for me to wonder?â
You shrug, âI mean, just typical flirting and dirty talk or whatever. Why?â
He feels his breath catch in his throat. âDirty talkâ?...what the fuck? âUmâŚno reasonâŚI guess I was justâŚcurious or something.â he mumbles.
âAre you here with Yujin?â you ask as you take another sip of your drink.
He shakes his head. âWell, not anymore. She broke up with me soâŚIâm alone now.â he realizes how that mightâve come off. âAlone here nowâŚnotâŚme alone altogetherâŚor anything.â he cringes and looks away from you, feeling completely stupid.Â
âWhat? Why did she break up with you?â
âSheâŚsaw meâŚlooking at you and SungchanâŚso she broke up with me.â he says, not really wanting to say the other stuff from the argument. You laugh in response and he frowns. âDonât laugh.â
You nudge his shoulder, âItâs okay. If she broke up with you for that dumb of a reason, her loss.â You say as you take another sip.
He smiles slightly. It feels like old times. It feels like he has you back. It feels like you want him back. âYeah, youâre probably right. Itâs probably best I donât have her constantly being suspicious about me and you.â
âEspecially since we havenât talked in months.â
He feels caught off guard by your blunt statement. Sure, itâs trueâŚbut it sounds like you didnât miss him. âYeahâŚwe havenât talked in a while.â You just take another sip of your drink and he looks back at you. âIâve missed you.â He waited for you to say something back, but you didnât. âIâve umâŚmissed talking to you like before. Like, beforeâŚeverything got complicated and stuff-â
âI know what you meant.â
He nods his head a bit, everything now feeling awkward. âSoâŚwhat have you been up to? Anything interesting happen?â
âNope.â
âReally? Nothing? Nothing at all?â
âYupâ you say as you take another drink.
âSoâŚfor the past few months, youâve done absolutely nothing interesting?â he asks, his tone being more lighthearted and joking to try and diffuse the tension.
âNo offense, but Iâm not really looking to âcatch upâ with you.â
Sunghoon feels his heart stop for a moment, but he tries to play it off. âOkay, ouch.â he laughs nervously, âSo youâre not even remotely interested in talking with me?â
You shrug, âI dunno. These past few months without you, Iâve kinda just been doing my own thing, I guess.â
Your response left him feeling worthless. Like, he didnât even mean a single thing to you before. Which, he knows isnât trueâŚbut you sound like you mean it. âSo, you havenât missed me at all? Not even talking to me?â
âAt first, yeah. But donât worry, Iâm not in love with you anymore.â
â...youâre notâŚin love with me anymoreâŚ?â he asks as he feels his blood run cold. You just shake your head and continue drinking from your cup. His heart sinks immediately. He feels small; insignificant. His mind jumps back to Sungchan and he frowns. âAre you in love with him now?â
âHim?â
âSungchan.â
âEh,â you shrug, âweâre not dating, just casual, I guess.â
âSo, youâre not exclusive with him?â
âNo.â
âAnd youâre okay with that?â
âYeah.â
He feels himself growing jealous and frustrated. How could you give yourself to someone who doesnât love you? Sunghoon feels upset, realizing he unintentionally did the same thing, but still, not to this extent. He knows you. He knows you donât want thisâŚhopefully. But he sure as hell knows that you donât deserve this.Â
âThatâs ridiculous. How can you be committed to this?â
âIâm not committed.â
He groans, âThatâsâŚnot what I meant. What do you two even get out of this?â
You shrug, âWhy do you care? I get youâre a relationship guy even though youâve only been serious with one girl, but donât shit on me and what I choose to do.â
The way you spoke got under his skin. âI care because I happen to care about the people around me. In case you havenât noticed, I care about you.â But you just roll your eyes. âDonât roll your eyes. Iâm being serious. Why do you feel like this isnât worth talking about?â
âBecause we arenât friends. We arenât anything. I donât need your input.â
It feels like youâve slapped him in the face, and this time, it fucking stings. âWhat do you mean we arenât friends? We grew up together, how the hell are we not friends?â
âAre you stupid?â
âAm I stupid?â he asks, offended and frustrated. He was starting to lose his patience. âNo. Iâm not. I still consider you as my friend. We grew up together, went to the same schools, hung out every damn day, how is none of that relevant?â
âWe havenât spoken in months.â
âSo what?â he asks, feeling as though your friendship suddenly means less than nothing to you, somehow.
âI told you that night that I wasnât going to be your friend anymore.â
He freezes. He knows. He also knows you donât just say shit without it meaning anything. He knows you arenât friends anymore, but he doesnât want that. He doesnât want you to be nothing to each other. He thought that if, maybe, he admitted he still sees you as his friend, you would admit the same. But you donât. And now he feels that same empty feeling. âSoâŚyouâre just fine with letting us go without a second thought?â
You look at him, âDo you not remember anything from that night? Of course if fucking hurt; I was in love with you.â
âSo it does matter.â
You sigh, âIt doesnât matter anymore; that was a long time ago.â you say as you take another sip.
He looks at you for a moment, feeling like his heart has become a punching bag and you were just taking any hit you could. Was this really the same person he grew up with? That he⌠âHow could it not matter anymore? We used to mean the world to each otherâŚhow can that justâŚbeâŚover?â
You look at him, âBecause I had to get over you.â
âItâs not that easy. I spent everyday thinking about you. Everyday.â
âWhy?â
âBecause I love you!â He thought your question was so redundant, he honestly didnât even realize what he said at first.Â
âButâŚâ you sit there, stunned. He finally said what you wanted him to say for so long, even if it was with a frustrated tone, stillâŚit counted. âWhat about Yujin?â
âSheâŚshe doesnât matter. You do. She always suspected I was in love with you-â
âWell, this is news to me.â
He deadpans. âAre you being fucking serious? I get I never said it before, butâŚâ he pauses; he sees what you mean. âOkayâŚbutâŚyou never once thought it was possible that I love you?â
âNo. Because that night when I told you that I was in love with you, you just kept saying I was your best friend. Youâre so full of it.â
âIâm not full of it! I justâŚfor fucks sake, I just didnât know. I thoughtâŚI donât know, I thought maybe for you it was just passing, or something, I donât know what I thought I justâŚI donât know.â
âRight. So as I stood there, crying my eyes out as I told you how much I loved you, you thought it was one sided.â you say as you roll your eyes.
âIâŚâ he feels like he did that night, like he canât think. âI just didnât know, maybe something was holding me back, I donât know.â
âI know why.â
He looks at you, relieved, thankful that you understand what he means. âYou do?â
âOf course you didnât want to admit to that. How embarrassing for you to have a crush on one of the schoolâs biggest sluts.â
He frowns. âThatâs not what I mean. You honestly think itâs embarrassing for me to like you?â
âExactly. And you knew that. I donât blame you, no guy wants their girlfriend to be a whore.â You take another sip of your drink and you look at him. âLook, Iâm not mad. I got over it and I honestly donât care anymore. I know what I am and I know that until we graduate, thatâs all Iâll probably be. But it doesnât matter. Yujin breaking up with you not too long ago was dumb, youâre a really great guy, but youâll find someone else.â You take another sip, âI should probably head back in and find Sungchan.â
He felt anger wash over him. Not because you donât believe him about being in love with you. Not because you were going to Sungchan. But because of the fact that you believe the things you say about yourself. Youâre so special, so goddamn special, and Sunghoon is so scared as he realizes he may be too late.
âAnd what if I donât want to find someone else? What if I donât want anyone else but you?â
You look at him for a moment. âDo you remember how you would talk about Yujin with me? You may not remember everything you said, but I remember it all and I remember how you looked as you said it. You talked about her like she was the most special and most beautiful girl in the world. You had this smile that you only had with herâŚâ you pause for a moment, âYou may say you have feelings for meâŚbut they're not like the ones you had for her, and thatâs okay. I donât want you to feel bad because you deserve to be happy, but you also deserve to find another girl that makes you talk and feel that same wayâŚand I know thatâs not me.â
Youâre so wrong. Youâre so fucking wrong and it was pissing him off. He wishes he just figured this out earlier. He wishes that he asked you out instead. He wishes that he told you he loves you that night. He wishes he kissed you. He wishes he held you and didnât let go. He swallows, âYou remember everything I said?â he asks, slightly surprised to hear that. Honestly, he doesnât even remember what he said. Not anymore.
âOf course I doâŚI wanted nothing more than for it to be me.â you say quietly as you take a sip and sigh. âBut like I said, water under the bridge.â
He feels tears begin to form. âWhy did we have to grow apart? Why didnât you just talk to me? Just one damn word. Something. I didnât want to lose you.â
âI canât be your friend.â
âWhy not?â
You look at him for a long moment, just staying quiet. â...Iâm only going to say this onceâŚbut if I stayed your friend, I would just keep hurting myselfâŚI would still love you.â
He stays quiet for a while. Even the loud music and chatter from the people inside seemed to drown out as he looked at you; youâre all that matters; youâre all that deserves his attention. â...did it hurt when we would talk everyday?â
You sigh softly and shake your head. âNot until you started dating Yujin. Before that, everything was fine. But once she happenedâŚit hurt like hell.â
âWhy didnât you tell me?â
âI told you. I couldnât do that to you, you were happy.â
âI would have wanted to know. I would have wanted to be there for youâŚâ
You laugh a little, âNo, thatâs weird.â You shake your head and still laugh a little, âItâs fine, Iâm over it.âÂ
âItâs not weird. Itâs not okay for you to act like everything is fine.â he says, softly.
âWhy are you trying to rehash this? Thereâs no point. Or do you like to hear about how I used to love you and it gives you some sort of ego boost or something?â you ask, not wanting to dive back into thisâŚnot again. He shakes his head, but he sighs. What is the point? You arenât believing him and youâve said it yourselfâŚyouâre over him. You stand up and his eyes follow you, âIâm gonna go find Sungchan. Later.â you say, not really meaning the âlaterâ part, but nonetheless, you walk away and all he can do is watch you leaveâŚagain.
He heads back into the party, wanting to find solace in getting batshit drunk or something, but he continues to torture himself by watching you dance with Sungchan. His eyes only focus on you, sure, heâs jealous and pissed off that youâre with Sungchan, but he only sees you. Sees how you move and he finds himself wishing you were dancing with him.Â
Sungchan pulls you closer, just whispering sweet nothings in your ear and you feel his hands grab your ass. You giggle a little and try to enjoy your time with him as he starts kissing your neck. You laugh softly as you dance with him and, unfortunately for Sunghoon, heâs bearing witness to it all. His hand practically crushes his red solo cup as fury ignites within him when he watches what Sungchan is doing. That should be him. Not that he would be soâŚvulgar with his actions, but it should still be him instead. He sees Sungchan whisper something to you as he takes your hand and starts taking you upstairs.Â
As he watched the two of you making your way upstairs, his whole body shook and trembled in rage. Every step that the two of you took together enraged him. He hated the way you casually held his hand and how he casually walked you up the stairs. He hated how he acted as if he had every right to touch you like that. He hated the fact that you were both so comfortable with one another at this point. He hated the fact that he was leading you away to his roomâŚ
You were so focused on following Sungchan, you were surprised to feel a tug on your other hand once you reached the top of the stairs. Both Sungchan and you stop and you turn to see Sunghoon holding your other hand.Â
Sunghoon felt at ease, like he was grounded when he felt your hand in his. This made him more confident as he tugged you towards him, wanting you away from Sungchan. This pisses Sungchan off and he scoffs as he looks at Sunghoon.Â
âThe hell?â Sungchan says, not in the mood for any games. He tugs the hand he was holding, pulling you back towards him, but you find yourself only focused on Sunghoon as your heart starts to beat faster.
Sunghoon pulls you back towards him, his grip on your hand tightening. âBack off.â he says as he glares at Sungchan.Â
âYou back off.â Sungchan says as he tugs you back towards him.
Sunghoon realized that you were just being tugged around, so he stopped, but he kept holding your hand. âLet go of her.â
âYou let go of her.â He looks at you, âWho the hell is this guy?â Sungchan asks, annoyed.
âSomeone who actually loves her instead of using her.â
You look at Sunghoon, surprised to hear him say that. Sure, he said he loved you earlierâŚbut this time when he said it, he said it like it was what he meant to say; what he wanted to say.
Sungchan laughs. âYou love her?â
Sunghoon glares at him. âYes. I love her. Now back off.â
Sungchan scoffs and puts his arm around you. âTell you what, bud, you can have her when Iâm done.â Sungchan winks as he pulls you towards him.
Sunghoon feels enraged. This asshole was acting so entitled, acting like he won this argument when Sunghoon knew damn well he wasnât giving up. The fact that he had the nerve to call him âbudâ too made Sunghoon want to throw him down the flight of fucking stairs. How he treated you was disgusting, talking about you like that in front of you. Sunghoon tugged you towards him one last time and Sungchan rolled his eyes.Â
âWhatever.â Sungchan looks at you, âYou know where my room is.â he says as he winks at you before walking away.
Sunghoon grimaces as Sungchan leaves, but feels better once heâs gone. The whole time, you were just looking at Sunghoon and you feel as though your heart is beating out of your chest as he holds your hand. After what he said. After all of this. He meets your gaze and he looks at you in a much more gentle manner.Â
âYou deserve so much moreâŚâ he whispers, his breath lightly brushing along your face since youâre so close together. âIâm sorry. Iâm so fucking sorry-â
âStop.â
âNo.â he says as he lets go of your hand and uses it instead to gently cup your face. âI wasnât lying. You are all Iâve thought about for these past few months and youâre all I can ever think about. Iâve missed you every single damn second of the day and Iâm sorry I was too scared to say it all before. I love you. And all this time, Iâve just thought about what you mean to me and the answer is everything; you mean everything to me. ...that seems like such a vague thing to say now that I say it out loud.â he chuckles softly, âBut everything means nothing if youâre not with me. Eating, sleeping, breathing, blinking, are all pointless if I canât spend one goddamn second with you. Iâm not embarrassed of you and I only realized that night when you left that Iâve always been in love with you. Always. What I felt with Yujin is all meaningless when I compare it to how I feel about you. I love you. It was never her. Not for even a millisecond. You asked me if I would put myself through pain just to see her happy and I told you yes. I lied. I thought that was what I would do, but I realized I actually did that with you. I let you walk away because thatâs what you wanted. I didnât want that, god-â he takes a sharp inhale as he rests his forehead on yours, âItâs always been youâŚand Iâm so sorry I never said it until now. Iâm so sorry I put you through all of that shit. Iâm so sorry, but pleaseâŚâ he whispers as he looks into your eyes, all of his focus only on you. âI love you.â
You feel your breath hitch slightly and you feel so tempted just to kiss him, but you hold yourself back. You smile a little bit and pull away slightly, feeling relieved. â...I need to smoke. You want one?â you ask as you take his hand, going into an empty bedroom.Â
He closes the door behind the two of you as you walk over and sit on the bed, opening the window beside it. He sits beside you as you take out your pack and he smiles a bit. âYeah, I do.â he says as you hand him one. He watches as you light yours and then you light his for him. You both sit silently for a moment as you smoke, it being a comfortable silence until he speaks. âThank you.â he says, mainly for lighting his cigarette, but he does want it to apply to you not leaving him again.
âI forgive you.â you say after a moment.
âYou do?â he asks as he takes a drag and looks at you.
âYeah.â you say as you take another drag yourself. âBut youâve got to get better at saying how you feel.â you tease.
He scoffs playfully and nudges your arm. âSays you.â he mumbles as he continues to smoke.
You laugh softly and shrug. âWeâll work on it.â you say before exhaling your smoke and he nods his head a bit as you both look out of the window for a moment. You glance at him and inhale from your cigarette before gently pulling him towards you. He turns his head to look at you and you kiss him gently, shotgunning the smoke slowly into his mouth.
His eyes widen a bit as his heart beats rapidly. He closes his eyes as he inhales, letting the smoke slowly fill his lungs while he leans forward to kiss you back, indulging in the feeling of your lips on his even if it wasnât an actual kiss. After blowing out the smoke, you break the kiss and watch as he exhales the smoke. He does it slowly, feeling as though his lips are tingling, begging to meet yours again. He smirks a bit after he exhales all of the smoke and looks at you. âDamnâŚthat was good.â he whispers as he blushes a bit.
You grin, taking another drag, âIâve missed you.â
He takes a drag as well as smiles softly. âIâve missed you, too.â It goes quiet, but this time, a comfortable silence as you two smoke. He blows some smoke out of the window and looks back at you. âDo you thinkâŚwe could give this another shot?â
You follow suit and blow some smoke out of the window before looking at him. âOur friendship orâŚsomething more this time?â
âSomething more. Both, hopefully.â he smirks a bit as he says this, taking another drag.
You smirk a little back and chuckle softly, âI really want that.â
âSo do I.â he whispers as his eyes lock onto yours. He smiles softly, âWeâre going to be official.â
He reaches for your hand and carefully interlaces his fingers with yours. You take another drag as you smile shyly. âGoodâŚâ you say, softly.
Your fingers seem to fit with his perfectly; everything about you is perfect and it was things like this that make him realize it all the more. You hold hands as you smoke silently, both feeling a fluttering excitement in your stomachs as your relationship dynamic shifts to one that you both have been longing for before you even realized it yourselves. He glances at you as he exhales some smoke.
âGood? WowâŚI was expecting some more passion out of that.â he teases, gently squeezing your hand.
You laugh before finishing your cigarette and putting it out. You turn your body a bit to face him, âWhat aboutâŚfucking incredible?â
He laughs loudly at your new choice of phrasing. He calms down after a moment, âThatâs more like it.â he says with a grin before smoking his cigarette again. His gaze lingers on you as he watches you smile at his reaction. Stunning. He leans in, letting go of your hand, placing his left hand beside you on the bed as his lips meet yours, kissing you.Â
You donât waste a single second, kissing him back immediately as your hand makes its way to the back of his head, your fingers threading with his hair as you push yourself slightly forward, pressing your lips against his more. He inhales sharply as he moves his left arm around your waist, pulling you closer, desperately. He puts out his cigarette and discards it, using his other arm to wrap around you as well as he pulls you onto his lap. You part your legs, straddling his lap as you grin a bit into the kiss, both of your hands using their fingers to gently tug on the ends of his soft hair. You feel yourself fill with excitement, the fact that this is really happening after every inch of your body has desired this exact moment makes you feel restless.Â
Sunghoon runs his hands up and down your thighs, squeezing them gently, before moving them up to your hips, and then your waist. His hands suddenly felt so big against your skin, his fingers sending shivers throughout your whole body anywhere they touch. He opens his mouth slightly more and you take this as a sign to slip your tongue into it. He grins, this time, and he pulls you closer to him by gripping your waist; your bodies now pressed tightly against each other. He moves his hands to cup your face and you move yours to rest against his chest, your fingers tightly gripping his shirt in an attempt to somehow kiss him deeper. His tongue glides across yours as he kisses you with increasing desperation. The need for you grows every second that passes, he has to kiss every inch of you, he has to make you his, he has to make you feel loved; the only thoughts devouring his mind at this very moment consisted of nothing but you and his need to ensure you only ever want him.Â
The kiss becomes sloppy, both of your lips becoming covered in one another, and you feel yourself craving more. So much more. You bite his bottom lip a little, testing to see if this will make him decide to take initiative, resulting in him gasping softly and releasing a low moan. He liked it. He liked it a lot. He moves his hands back to your waist, pushing you down against his lap and his jaw loosens a bit as he loses his breath, feeling you finally press against his erection. You moan softly, enjoying the feeling of some sort of contact where you desperately needed it the most and it felt so good knowing he wanted you just as much as you wanted him. He couldnât take it anymore, he had to have you.Â
One of his hands grips your thigh and his other arm goes back to wrapping around your waist as he picks you up a bit and lays you back against the bed, not once breaking the kiss; at this point, kissing you has become his oxygen supply. Feeling your hands on him is the only thing keeping him alive. His lips part from yours only to kiss along your jaw, just below your ear, and down to your neck. You gasp softly and your eyelids flutter closed as you relish in the feeling of his soft lips kissing your skin. He takes one of his hands and uses it to move some of your hair out of the way, placing it on the back of your head, pulling your hair softly to move your head back so he has more room to work with on your neck. You let out a soft moan, feeling him leave open mouthed kisses on every single inch of your skin, him making sure he doesnât miss a single spot.Â
He opens his eyes a bit and looks at you, to see how heâs making you feel. He watches as your lips part slightly as you take in small gasps of air, as if he leaves you utterly breathless; youâve never looked more beautiful. He watches to see what spot of your neck when he kisses it that you seem to like the most. Once he gets to a certain spot and watches you bite your bottom lip a bit, he smirks slightly against your skin and sucks gently on the area. His tongue laps the spot a bit as he sucks and nibbles on it; this was his spot now. You moan softly and you feel your breath slightly catch in your throat as he leaves a hickey. He leaves a few soft pecks on the spot a little after heâs left his mark and he smiles a bit to himself.Â
You feel the warmth of his body pull away from yours and your eyes open as you look at him. The moon shined a bit through the window, the light falling beautifully on him as he looked at you with a slightly flushed face. He looked back at you, seeing you laying on this bed, all for him, he felt like he was going crazy. He sits on his knees between your legs as his hands run along your thighs; he just keeps looking at you, admiring all of you. You lay there, looking at him, feeling your body become hot as he looks at you through hooded eyes, as if you leave him in a trance. Your breathing picks up in speed as he runs his hands painfully slow along your thighs and as much as you want to pull him back towards you, you feel as though youâre frozen.Â
He takes a slow, deep breath, as his left hand travels up to gently take your right hand. He holds it up softly, separating your fingers with his as he loosely holds your hand, his gaze now focusing on your hands. He raises your hand up and leans in, raising it to his mouth. He softly plants his lips on your fingertips, kissing them softly, up to your knuckles, trailing his lips to the back of your hand, then gently turning it to kiss along the palm of your hand. He closes his eyes as he kisses down your arm--slowly--and gently lays your arm back at your side as he kisses up to your shoulder. His hands move to the hem of your short dress, slowly sliding it up, you raising your hips to help him, and he stops, leaving it bunched around your waist as he goes back to kissing along your shoulder. He gently pushes the strap of your dress down your shoulder as he focuses on kissing your body, moving along your collarbone. He breathes deeply, pushing the other strap out of the way as he leaves open mouthed kisses on your left shoulder, down your arm, his hands gently holding it up as he kisses up to your wrist. You watch him, feeling as if your body is constantly shivering, still dressed (albeit, your dress is pushed up), yet feeling completely exposed. His hand envelopes over your left hand as he kisses your palm like he cherishes your entire being, the way he looks is as if heâs wanted to do this his whole life.Â
He kisses your fingers, knuckles, and fingertips, opening his eyes slowly as he lets go of your arm gently. He moves his hands back to your waist, pulling your dress up more and you sit up, realizing your body is shaking, and he kisses your forehead before pulling your dress off carefully, like heâs afraid if he does it too fast, youâll break. He lets the dress fall to the ground, the fabric hitting the hard wood floor just as softly as he lets it go. Itâs as if the room is silent, no muffled music from downstairs, no rolling of tires from the occasional cars passing on the streets, no soft wind hitting the curtains, nothing except the quiet breaths escaping from his and your lips. He feels his erection become even more painfully hard as he looks at you, and he swallows, honestly trying not to let out a moan just at the sight of you. His breath stifles a little as he places his hand on the small of your back, steadying you as he leans back in, kissing the top of your chest. He feels himself growing more desperate, desperate to feel every inch of your skin on his lips, on his fingertips.Â
He breathes in sharply as he presses his face more into your chest, his lips sloppily kissing along your chest as his need for you grows. His tongue trails along your skin and he shudders, his hands becoming shaky as he holds your waist, all his focus practically on making out with your chest. A low moan elicits from him and from the way he was kissing your chest with such desperation made you moan softly in response, one of your bra straps falling a little off your shoulder from his movements. Itâs as if he senses it and just decides to unclasp your bra, still trying to let it slide off of you slowly and hold himself back, but once he sees you take it off, your bare chest exposed, he feels himself get so close to cumming in his pants. He gently lays you back on the bed, wasting no time, however, to wrap his lips around one of your nipples. Your breath hitches and you moan as he releases his desperation. Kissing, sucking, and fondling your breasts, small whimpers coming from him as he feels elated to finally be doing this. Spit covers your chest almost instantly as he licks and sucks, kneading your breasts, moaning as the soft flesh squeezes and molds beneath his hands. And itâs only until he feels his breathing becoming quick, his dick aching in his pants, is when he stops. He pulls away slightly, his hair slightly covering his eyes as he stares at them, his trembling fingers squeezing and spreading his spit along them, his thumbs pressing and circling your nipples, and you feel as if ripples just went throughout your entire body.
You gently push his hair away from his face and he goes back to kissing along your stomach, down to your panties. You can feel momentarily the thin layer of sweat covering his forehead when you push his hair away, running your fingers through his locks and he whines softly against your skin, his hands gripping your sides and finally moving to the edge of your panties. You wait in anticipation, expecting him to take them off, so you raise your hips slightly, but he pulls away. You poutâonly slightlyâas you look at him with a confused expression. He smiles sweetly, as if heâs not the one that caused you to quite literally soak through your panties. Heâs noticed, god, heâs noticed, but it takes everything in him not to behave like some animal. So, with that, he moves his hands down to your feet, slowly taking off your shoes for you before setting them on the ground. He moves back a little, leaning down to kiss along your leg, stopping at your knee, before moving to do the same thing to the other leg, but this time, he kisses up your thigh, leaving open mouthed kisses on the inner part of your thigh, gently nipping at your skin, and up to your hip. He gazes at you through his eyelashes as he moves to kiss along the other thigh, closing his eyes as he moans deeply against your skin, his tongue running along your skin.
He takes in a shaky, deep breath, and you feel your whole body become stiff once you feel his warm breath scatter so deliciously on your core. He gently places his hand over your sopping panties and your breath hitches, your whole body feeling grateful for some sort of contact. His brows furrowed as he slowly rubs his middle finger along your clothed slit, a low groan escaping his lips as he feels even more of your wetness seep through the fabric as he pushes into it. His mind feels hazy; he has to taste you. He takes his hand away, licking his middle finger and he feels as if his whole body exploded. He moans quietly to himself, before gripping your thighs and sticking his tongue out, licking a slow, long stripe between your clothed folds to your clit. Your eyes roll back as you gasp and moan. His fingers dig into the skin of your thighs as he feels himself lose all sense of sanity. He wanted nothing more than to take his time, but fuck, he canât do it anymore.Â
His lips instantly latch around your clothed clit, sucking and lapping his tongue as he starts to subconsciously rut his hips against the mattress. His saliva soaks your panties entirely as he presses his tongue more firmly, causing you to moan louder, gasping, as your hand makes its way to his hair, your fingers tangling in it. He moans and pulls away only a little before diving back in, pushing your panties to the side with his face as he makes out between your folds. His jaw is working overtime, his tongue lapping and picking up as much of you as you can give, His nose bumps against your clit as he loses himself in your taste, eating you out like a madman. He groans and moans into you, his hip movements stuttering as he licks all the way back up to your clit, moving his right hand off of your thigh before pushing his middle and ring finger into you, making sure to rub them between your folds before he does. He sucks and licks your clit, moaning and whimpering as he pushes his fingers in and out of you, not stopping until his knuckles prevent him.Â
You moan his name, gripping his hair, pushing his face against your clit more as your legs shake and you cum, moaning his name. He whimpers and the way you taste sends him over the edge as he feels himself cum in his pants, his jaw falling slack a bit, and he pulls his fingers out, desperate to lick them clean. You let go of his hair, trying to catch your breath and he sits up, his face slick and covered in you, and he tugs your panties off. You look at him, watching as he undresses himself and you feel your body become light as he reveals more and more of himself to you. His bare chest, his abs, god, his biceps, you were about ready to start touching yourself at the sight, desperate for him, but you managed to stay put.Â
He feels his ego boost a little bit, watching how you look at him, examining his body as if he is some work of art. Heâs going to give you everything he knows you deserve and that thought alone makes him smirk. You notice as he takes off his underwear the wet patch from his prior release, making you grin a bit. He finally lets his cock out, it still being painfully hard despite him having cummed already, and you gaze at it. You feel yourself clench around nothing, wanting him so desperately to fill you up and he sees it. He smiles innocently, as if you both arenât completely naked and horny before he grabs a cigarette and lights it. He takes a drag as he spreads the precum spilling from his tip all along his length and you watch his every movement, honestly feeling your mouth water at the sight. You sit up and he motions his head to the window as the cigarette sits between his lips.Â
You turn and face the window, propping your forearms against the windowsill as you look outside, the cool breeze honestly feeling nice against your flushed, hot skin. You feel his presence shift behind you as he takes another drag. He sighs softly, looking at yourself propped like this, he places his free hand on your hip, lining himself up with you. He moves that hand and gently brushes your hair softly to the side, exposing your back entirely, and you turn your head a bit to look back at him. He exhales some smoke and meets your gaze, gently brushing his fingers along your cheek.Â
âRelaxâŚâ he says before leaning to whisper in your ear, âand donât be afraid to let the neighborhood know my name.â he says before kissing your cheek.Â
You feel your body shudder at his words and he holds the cigarette between his lips as he uses one hand to hold your hip, the other gripping his cock before he slides it up and down, teasingly, between your folds. You gasp softly and he smirks, pushing his tip against your clit and he hisses a little, more precum leaking from his tip. He guides his cock into you, needing to quickly grab his cigarette from his mouth due to his jaw falling slack as he bottoms out into you. Your fingers grip the edge of the windowsill, your jaw dropping as you feel him finally giving you what you want. You moan and become breathless. He takes another drag from his cigarette before moving his hand from your hip to your shoulder as he pulls his hips away and then thrusts himself back into you entirely.
He filled you up perfectly, and he was damn ready to cum just from the way it felt like you perfectly fit around him. So warm and so fucking wet. He thrusts in and out of you a few times, groaning as you moan, sounds of you coating his cock more and more each time he goes in and out of you. He takes a shaky inhale from his cigarette, his eyes rolling back a bit as he thrusts a bit faster, before taking the cigarette out of his mouth, gripping the back of your head, a handful of your hair between his fingers, as he pulls you up and turns your head towards him. You moan and whine looking at him as he kisses you, shotgunning you this time as he keeps a steady pace of thrusting into you. You felt like you were going to choke, but you inhale what he exhales and as he pulls away, you turn back and lean your forearms against the windowsill as you blow out the smoke, gasping afterwards and moaning his name.
âGood girl,â he groans and puts the cigarette out, putting both of his hands on your hips, thrusting faster. âSuch a good girl.âÂ
You moan at his praise and breathe quickly as all you can do is let out strings of long moans as you feel his cock press into you over and over, him somehow hitting every area that makes your knees weak and mind hazy. His fingers dig into your skin as his hips rapidly pound and slap against your ass, the sound of skin slapping becoming louder and louder. You moan his name loudly, and as a reward, he pushes further, you feeling his tip brush against your cervix and you gasp, moaning his name lewdly. He grunts, the way you just moaned his name almost made him cum automatically.Â
âLouder, sweetheart, come on.â
You gasp for air as he fucks you so goddamn good, and you try to arch your lower back a bit so he can go deeper. You moan his name as many times as he wants, whatever it takes for him to rut in and out of you faster, to which he obliged. His breathing becomes heavy and your legs shake as you throw your head back a bit, your jaw dropping as you let out a long moan, cum spreading all over his cock. He grunts and whimpers, wrapping his arms around your waist as his brows knit together, him leaning down and kissing your shoulder as he pumps you full of cum, a low moan coming from him and onto your shoulder. He moans your name softly as he lets out a few more shallow thrusts, making sure he gives you every last drop. You feel yourself shiver as the warm liquid pushes into you and you whine a little.Â
After a moment of him holding you close and staying inside of you, he kisses your shoulder softly again before pulling out and pulling away. He lays back onto the bed and you shudder as you feel his and your cum spilling out of you and trailing slowly down your inner thigh. He opens his arms a bit and you go to him, letting out a sigh as you rest your head on his chest and feeling content when his arms wrap around you. His hand slowly moves up and down your back before he kisses the top of your head. Itâs silent for a while as you both lay there.
âSoâŚweâre a thing now?â you ask, partly joking, but part of you was seriously asking.
He looks down at you and scoffs playfully. âAfter all of this, you still donât get it?â he chuckles softly. âI want nobody but you.â
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