#they only eat rat

[flying-to-catboy-island]

They Only Eat Rat: Entry 1

If something can hold a weapon, people will teach it to kill. 

When I found her, she was being yelled at by some scared mom.  From the noise, I thought someone got pushed onto the tracks, so I walked over to see if there was a Good Samaritan around to save them.  Turns out, a few rats had just crawled onto the platform, and the mom's daughter had laid a concrete slab on the biggest one, pinning it to the floor.  

She had attracted quite a crowd by now, each person excited or offput by this smoking gun, but all interested in what the consequences would be.  It was an unfair expectation to set; to resent something so much, but still believe it to play by your rules.  11 years old is much too young an age to get hurt, after all - even if it's only a rat bite.  Against no odds, the bubble burst and the petting stopped, but the concrete still pinned her down.

Thankfully, I got to her first, and lifted her into the sky.  Many new white-coats were appointed that day, all advising me to sacrifice her to the nearest river.  I assured them I would, between me jolting the rat at their face a couple times to see how hard they'd flinch.  The subway came, and I sat alone with her muffled in my jacket pocket until there was no more room for people to be picky.  Simply, I was enthralled by this rat's ability to hold an entire car hostage, and I hoped to reward it once we both returned home.

[joifee]

Ratatouille who?

way to flex the fact i am (currently) a cook

[chayannesegg]

If Tubrat was being REALLY honest, his day with Ratcumber was the best day he can EVER remember. Ever ever. Ever ever ever.

Of course, that feels mean to Mordecai—that his best day ever could possibly be on a day when Mordecai was gone and he didn't know if when (the Angelic One says soon) he will be back—so he doesn't say it out loud. Doesn't even think it, really.

It's just, he was SO worried. Because Ratcumber was so nice and then he hurt her. He REALLY hurt her. On purpose. She screamed. She must have been so hurt and scared and lonely. And no one stopped him! Everyone saw it happen (like always) and didn't do ANYTHING. And it was really scary, like REALLY scary and he can't stop thinking about it. About hurting her. About doing what he was told. She should hate him forever like everyone else but he had to. He HAD to.

He can't be without Mordecai again. He can't be alone and face all the other rats who hate him and don't care about him and left him to die and want to forget he exists.

Because he's so awful and broken and he can't shut up about it because it hurts less to say everything wrong with him before anyone else can spot it on his face. Because it's worse if someone else says it first. Because Everyone knows, but only he should say it.

Mordecai doesn't say it. He's just there. He's always there for Tubbo and he doesn't leave. He never leaves. Until he was ABANDONED and left to DIE and Mordecai was lost. Because TUBRAT let him go. Because Tubrat failed. Because Tubrat didn't deserve to keep him.

He has to earn him back. He'll do WHATEVER the Ancient Ones Angelic Ones want. So he's not alone anymore.

And Ros knows. Ros knows. She gets it! She GETS it. She also doesn't want to be alone. She was a companion to a HUMAN. She lost them. She wants to GO BACK.

It's so scandalous he can barely imagine it. Rats don't mix with humans. Humans are SCARY. They're scary. They're so scary that is Tubrat is willing to hide in an attic with rats who hate him just to avoid them. He can't imagine how Ratcumber feels SAFE around one.

But he can imagine being alone after losing a friend. And no one caring, well knowing. No one else KNOWS Ratcumber is missing a human. Because Ratcumber doesn't tell people. She keeps her worst parts secret like Shelby keeps her worse parts secret.

Which Tubrat also can't imagine because it's like anytime he tries to keep something bad a secret it seems to burst out of him like bees escaping a hit hive.

(Unless he needed to be sneaky, like right now with the plan to hide Ros' sacrifice. Then he can be sneaky because he HAS to be. No one will notice he's up to something until it's too late. Owen and Munch and Ratman know NOTHING. Totally. Definitely. For sure.)

Of course, the other rats would PROBABLY care if Ratcumber told them she was missing her human. If they got over their fear and anger. Because Ros is good and kind and nice. The rats would understand that Ros wants her human back. They would want her to feel safe and happy (unlike him).

But Ros DOESN'T tell the other rats. Because Ros is scared. And lonely. And she doesn't want to live in a place where everyone hates her for being friends with a human.

And that's.... awful, really. How scared and lonely and desperate Ratcumber must be all the time. And it makes Tubrat's stomach twist to think about. Especially because her sadness makes him HAPPY.

Because she GETS it.

Gets him.

The Angelic One was RIGHT.

She was the PERFECT sacrifice.

Even though it hurt her. Even though it was scary. Even though it felt bad.

Because now she understands. That Tubbo's not crazy. That the Great One ANGELIC ONE can save them. That it was necessary.

And this is good for Ratcumber. Because she gets her friend back (maybe, no definitely, the Angelic One wouldn't lie).

But also it's good for TUBRAT. Because now it's almost like he has a friend.

Ratcumber talked to him! And listened to him! And built a new altar with him.

She made it better. They worked together and made a BEAUTIFUL altar that the Angelic Ones will LOVE and then he'll get back Mordecai and Ros will find her human and everything will be so GOOD.

Because Ros gets him now. She gets HIM. Tubrat. No one ever has before. She saw the very worse parts of him. Really saw them. Felt them. Was hurt because of his desperation. His need. His weakness.

And she DIDN'T leave.

She talked, listened, built with him. Even more than that she PLAYED with him.

Ros played with him.

SHE PLAYED WITH HIM.

No one plays with Tubrat. But Ros DID. She ran around (not away from him) together with him and lied to other rats about doing a play and teaching Tubrat how to talk to rats.

And It was FUN. It was FUNNY. Tubbo laughed SO much it hurt. He didn't know laughter could DO that.

And it was true. Kinda.

This was the longest time Tubrat has EVER spent with another rat in a LONG time. And it did feel like Ros was showing him how it works. And she wasn't scared off when he did something weird.

Ros played with him and he played back and nothing went wrong. No one yelled at him. No one caught them.

(Which, by the way, Ratman didn't CATCH them. He just said scary words but he knows nothing. They can fix it. They can fix it TOGETHER. Because Ros GETS it.)

And the play. The play! Owen sounded like he wanted to buy tickets. So maybe they WILL put on a play. To keep up the act. They'll HAVE to do Ratcumber's Shake-Spears thing. Even though it's probably stupid. But, it might be fun.

Maybe they could have Beky join too once she's been sacrificed. And then he'll have TWO friends. Almost friends. Kinda friends.

No, THREE friends.

Because then Mordecai would be back (right?). And Tubbo REALLY won't be alone anymore.

And, well, Ros' human still sounds scary, but maybe they would watch from a distance.

And Beky would invite El.

The point is today was a GOOD day. Ros GETS him. He ALMOST has Mordecai back. Nothing can go wrong now. And all the bad-scary-awful things that had to happen don't matter anymore.

They only have ONE more sacrifice to do, and Beky will WANT to do it. To save her wife. So it won't even be THAT bad or scary. He doesn't even have to do it. Ros will do it and he just has to WATCH.

Tubrat just has to do ONE more thing and then maybe everything will stop feeling so bad.

Then EVERYTHING will be PERFECT.

And no one can stop it from happening.

Right?

[wabart]

I hope yall are not getting tired of his boobs and such...

[stealingpotatoes]

Can any of the last 4 Jedi crew cook decently, or are they subsisting on the SW equivalent of take out and granola bars? If any of them CAN cook, which ones and what’s their specialty?

sort answered before!! luke's the only one who can cook but his speciality is spicy-as-fuck tatooine dishes that leave cal face down on the floor seeing the "game over" screen

[bloody-little-duckling]

[histrynerdss]

rody nation through process of elimination me and my brit friend/sibling figure (@/the-real-gmail) have discovered he's probably italian

reason one: gmail says he looks south european

reason two: italy is south european

reason three: S P A G H E T T I .

[silverview]

[faunandfloraas]

Seeing people really think the seunglix dorm will be the strugglers, esp in the food department is super funny to me. Did everyone forget Seo Changbin's first trip to the supermarket occurred only like 2 months ago at the ripe age of 24. Did you see him struggle to de-shell and chop those eggs on Chaeryeong's show.

[mrghostrat]

I headcanon StreamerAU!Crowley plays Cult of the Lamb and sacrifices other streamers/people he doesn't like

Best fic I've read btw! Never miss an update :3

You're amazing!

😭 thank you!! angel!!!!!

and fhpthpf crowley sacrificing good gameplay and efficient strategies for the sake off killing off the annoying ones. doesn't matter what their perks are, they asked the same question 3 times in a row so now they die

[posallys]

i will NEVER not be pissed that most colleges cost about 40k A YEAR on average and that if YOUR PARENTS make over 120k AS A GROSS INCOME you're practically immediately disqualified for need-based aid???? like do you really believe anybody can afford to throw an entire third of their annual income to their kid's schooling, when they probably have several thousands of dollars in loan debt themselves??? in THIS economy??? eggs are fucking $7 a dozen where i am right now but GOD FUCKING FORBID i get any financial aid because "well your upper class" NEWS FLASH 120K IS THE NEW MIDDLE CLASS AND JUST BECAUSE MY PARENTS MAKE OKAY MONEY NOW DOESN'T MEAN FUCK ALL WHEN I CAN REMEMBER ALL THE NIGHTS THEY DIDN'T EAT WHEN I WAS GROWING UP BECAUSE THEY ONLY HAD ENOUGH FOOD TO FEED ME AND MY SISTERS I need to hold everyone involved at gunpoint because i really don't think a single fucking one of them understands "oh but you have money :/" there's literally a reason i work FULL FUCKING TIME while double majoring and it's because my parents can't even send me money for fucking groceries, let alone fork out FORTY FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS GOD DAMN YEAR for a degree that'll be FUCKING WORTHLESS in three years anyway i worked my ASS off and graduated with a 4.7 to get scholarships because i knew that's the only way i'd realistically be able to afford school. and then the fucking fafsa goes "oh but you have money in your savings! you can pay for your own school" bitch i have 4k and it's for my fucking rent!!!! my parents have like $600 in savings do YOU SEE THE ISSUE that's what being forced into credit card debt for 20 years fucking does it puts you in an unescapable hole so even when you're making good money YOU DON'T GET SHIT!!!!!! NOT TO MENTION THE ABYSMAL CREDIT SCORES MY PARENTS HAVE SO GOOD FUCKING LUCK TRYING TO GET LOANS FOR ME!!! COSIGNER? I'VE NEVER HEARD OF HER IM GOING TO KILL PEOPLE!!!!!!

[kookabara]

anyway. something something louis finding some measure of peace mr. i own the night i divorced my performative husband and am living deliciously in my penthouse in dubai du lac vs. lestat unwashed i cant get her out of my head hes a good ratcatcher clutching that plank to his chest afraid to make first contact de lioncourt. they just toss the mental breakdowns between each other like hot potato

[ee-where-they-shouldnt-be]

Ramsey meets hooty from the owl house

He would HATE that bird tube

If i ever make a character torture tag I feel like i would add the tag to this I think it counts

[gentrychild]

You know, the fact that your loyal followers are called Rats is really amusing now considering what almost ate baby AfO and Yoichi

This is a coincidence and you cannot prove that my rats had anything to do with this!

[indagold-orchid]

I don’t get why people are now saying rats hate cheese, they love it as a small treat once in a while. In fact the generic cheese with holes in it contain next to no lactose so a tiny bit won’t upset their stomach. All the aged and hard cheeses are virtually lactose free, same with yoghurt.

[baelonthebrave]

I’m sure it’s been said but bg3 is the spiritual successor to da2 in that it’s a group of people who fucking hate each other held together by impending doom and a single common friend