#they only date cis men now why are they still hung up on me (a butch lesbian boygirl who is not amab)

[cowboyg1rl]

Was hanging out with two friends & one of them posts a picture of all three of us on her Insta. 20 minutes later my ex texted the other friend a screenshot of the picture from Insta with it zoomed in on me & said "awoop jumpscare." We have not spoken in ~ a year & a half. Why would they do that.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Oh my god. Y’all. I’m aroace and vaguely agender/not cis/“wtf is gender anyway”, but grew up afab and decently conservative, very Christian. I’ve assumed forever that the romantic attraction inexperience (infrequent and Different™️ as it is) was only towards men, I assume cuz comphet. Like 5 days ago I saw a tiktok of this beautiful butch lesbian just dancing with some cows and saw our future together- first meeting, first date, first kiss, proposal, wedding, growing old together, the whole ordeal- and was forced to finally confront that hey maybe all those instances in the past of seeing women and thinking “wow she’s pretty” was a “😍 wow she’s pretty” not a “aesthetically she’s gorgeous”. So I’ve been spending the last few days slowly but surely unpacking all that and trying to figure out what it all means for me/how much it matters to me to figure it out/to what level I want to figure it out, and I just realized that like. For years, I’ve seen women and thought they were pretty and seen women kiss in shows (rarely but still sometimes) and been just. Absolutely fascinated. I’m pretty sure I’ve fantasized about women kissing (women kissing each other in general but also me kissing a woman) so so much and I just now remembered that sometimes when I’ve been fascinated at the sight of women kissing I’ve felt guilty about it cuz like “I shouldn’t fetishize lesbians, I shouldn’t be so hung up on this when I don’t actually like women”

Like bud! You do!! Why do you think you’re hung up on this!!! That was literally a sign this whole gd time I’m dead

Anyway, comphet really is a doozy, isn’t it

Oof yeah it really is. But it is very good to hear you're feeling free to explore and figure yourself out properly. That's a good place to be.

Thanks for sharing this, Anon. I'm sure there's a few people who can relate.

All the best!

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Are genital preferences transphobic?

Lee says:

Personally, I am attracted to women and some non-binary folks. I used to call myself a lesbian before I realized I’m transmasculine, and now I use “queer” as my sexual orientation label.

And I also do have a genital preference. I’m not turned on by penises and penises aren’t something that I think about when I’m fantasizing about stuff.

But that isn’t something that determines who I’m attracted to, because when I meet someone who I think looks cute then I feel attracted to them, and that happens before we’re at the point where I’ve taken off their pants and underwear to view their genitals.

For example, I met my partner (mod Devon) in Algebra II when I was in high school, and I thought they were cute but I hadn’t yet taken off any of their clothing before I formed that opinion. I just saw them and (eventually, like several months later) talked to them and then hung out with them and so on.

Generally, I don’t inspect someone’s genitals before I decide if I’m attracted to them. For me, seeing people’s personal parts is usually something that happens in the relationship after I’ve already developed feelings for them and found them attractive, otherwise I wouldn’t be in the situation where started asking questions about their body or taken off their clothes.

So I am not attracted to people with vaginas as my sexual orientation, I’m attracted to women and some non-binary folks because those are the genders I’m attracted to.

And if we get to the part of the relationship where genitals come into play, what parts they have is going to be relevant for me. How a couple chooses to navigate that depends on the wants and needs of both people, and it might mean finding alternate ways to be sexual or having an open relationship or even breaking up. But their genitals aren’t what determine my sexual orientation or initial attraction.

I think most people find someone attractive before they know what genitals that person has, but they don’t always realize that’s true because they’re so used to assuming that they can tell what genitals someone has based on their gender identity.

So it’s fine for you to say “I am not interested in having sex with someone who had a vagina” or “I’m not interested in [doing a particular sexual act]” (not every person with a penis wants to perform penetrative sex, and not all people with vaginas are interested in receiving vaginal penetration) but it’s transphobic when someone assumes that all women have vaginas (given some trans women have penises), and it’s transphobic to assume that all trans men do have vaginas (because some trans men have gotten lower surgery). Basically, don’t assume you know who has what parts or assume how/if they want to use those parts.

Genital preferences can exist, but that isn’t covered under the word “sexual orientation”. And while it isn’t inherently transphobic to say you prefer one part over another, the issue comes in when people make assumptions on who has those parts when the person in question hasn’t told you about their parts or shown their genitals to you yet.

And in many cases, genital preferences are used to prop up transphobic assumptions and beliefs— how many times have we heard a certain group say something along the lines of “all trans women have penises so my sexual orientation is cis-women-only because I’m not attracted to trans women. I can always clock trans women because they’re not real women, so I’d never accidentally find one attractive because I like vagina!”. So I think the trans community has rightfully become suspicious of people who say “my sexual orientation is penis!” or “my sexual orientation is vaginas!” because that’s A) misusing the term sexual orientation, and B) indicative of a certain set of assumptions about trans people’s bodies.

Personally, I don’t meet someone and say “I don’t know if you’re cute yet and I can’t tell if I’m interested in you because I haven’t taken off your pants yet. Could you take off your underpants real quick and give me a good look at your junk from all angles before I decide if I think that you’re attractive?” And if you try that with a potential partner before you ask them out on a first date uhhh…, good luck… I think you’d be single for a real long time.

Again, we aren’t saying that you are required to be interested in having sex with genitals you aren’t interested in, but we are saying that you shouldn’t assume who has those genitals and recognize that it’s possible to be attracted to someone without knowing what their genitals are.

And if the genital preference is a relationship deal-breaker for you, and you discuss your options with your potential partner and you don’t think you could have your sexual needs met in a relationship with someone who has those parts, or you aren’t interested in a hookup, or whatever the situation is, then it’s fine to say you don’t think staying together is the right choice and that isn’t transphobic. But it isn’t fine to give someone a once over in the club and decide that you’re attracted to them because you think they have a penis because you can’t actually know that for sure.

One thing I think you might find helpful here: When you’re watching a TV show or movie, have you thought that any of the actors are attractive? Have you ever had a “celebrity crush?” And did you actually need to inspect this celebrity’s genitals first before you determined that you found them sexually attractive? Probably not, right?

I don’t know if there is a term that means “preference for penises” and I also don’t know if a term like that is strictly necessary because you could just say it in words, like “I like to have sex with people who have penises,” instead of inventing a new label for that. But a lot of trans people are also wary of adopting new genital-based attraction terminology because we know that kind of label is likely going to be immediately misused by people who are going to apply it in transphobic ways (back to the “assuming you can tell if someone has a penis” thing) and use it to mean they’re not interested in trans people, even if that’s not what the label was meant to convey.

TLDR; there isn’t a sexual orientation word for “attraction to penises/vaginas” because sexual orientation is about the genders you’re attracted to, it isn’t a term that describes whether you prefer a certain body type or body parts. 

So sexual orientation is about gender, not genitals. Genital preferences are a different things, and they aren’t inherently transphobic but it depends on the assumptions you’re using about who has what genitals and what they want to do with said genitals.

And because sexual orientation is about gender and not genitals, if you say you’re attracted to women that means you’re attracted to cisgender women and transgender women because trans women are women too. Similarly, if you say you’re attracted to men, that means you’re attracted to men, which includes transgender men and cisgender men because transgender men are also men just like cis men are.

Kii says:

Whether genital preferences are transphobic depends on a few things. 

First things first:

You are not ever required to have sex with anyone you don’t want to have sex with. We are not going to tell you you’re required to have sex with a trans person or you’re transphobic. The only reason you should have sex with someone is because everyone involved mutually consents to having sex.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s some other information.

If you find someone attractive, and then you find out they’re trans and are instantly no longer attracted to them, that’s transphobic.

If you are a lesbian and dating someone who later comes out as a trans man, and you want to break up with them because you’re not attracted to men, that’s not transphobic. (Same goes for if you are a gay man dating someone who comes out as a trans woman.)

It’s okay to not want to touch, penetrate, or directly interact with a certain type of genitals during sex, but if you have a partner where this would be an issue, you can choose not to have sex with them, or you can work on alternative sexual situations that you’d both be comfortable with. (Examples may include: use of toys, touching through clothing, mutual masturbation) If you’re making assumptions about how a specific type of genitals is going to be used during sex, that’s generalizing. (ex: just because a penis is involved doesn’t mean the penis has to enter an orifice / just because a vagnia is involved doesn’t mean you have to put something in it.) Sex is very personal and individual. If you like someone, you two can work out what your sexual needs and wants are and you might find they match up even if you didn’t expect them to. 

If you say you refuse to have sex with trans women because you don’t like penises, or you refuse to have sex with trans men because you don’t like vaginas, that’s transphobic, because you’re generalizing what trans peoples’ bodies look like. Some trans men have penises, and some trans women have vaginas. Some trans men are some of the most typically masculine people you’ll ever meet and they still have vaginas and some trans women are super stereotypically feminine and still have penises. Some trans people are intersex.  Some trans people seek out alternative bottom surgery (two examples). Bottom line: you don’t know what’s in a trans person’s pants until they tell you. 

If you’re cis and you’re only attracted to trans people, that’s a fetish and you’re still generalizing trans bodies. This is generally referred to as trans chasing.

If you’re trans and you only feel comfortable dating other trans people, that is generally a safety and security concern, or wanting to date someone who first-hand understands what you’re going through, and that’s okay.

Genital preferences are often heavily skewed against trans women with penises, so it’s important to evaluate why you dislike penises if you feel that way. Transmisogyny is a real problem, and many people use “I don’t like penises” as a blanket statement to avoid dating trans women (yes, this includes some AFAB trans people).

Another person explaining it, via @otherparenthesepleasespecify’s post:

‘what is it called when im attracted to only a certain sex?’ nothing. thats not an orientation, thats a physical preference. one might generally only find themselves attracted to blondes, but that just happens to be what theyre into. one might find penises the most attractive genitalia, but that just happens to be what theyre into. it’s not an orientation to be attracted to physical characteristics, it’s an orientation to be attracted to people.

‘what if i am attracted to a gender but dont feel comfortable interacting with a certain set of genitalia?’ nothing. thats not an orientation either. you are whatever orientation you are, with a repulsion to sex with certain characteristics. thats fine. there are heterosexual people that are sex-repulsed. there are asexual people who aren’t. people of all orientations might be made uncomfortable by certain types of sexual interactions and not others. your comfort with sexual interactions and comfort with certain genitalia can be defined by your personal preferences, your history, trauma, or just complete happenstance. it is perfectly valid to be attracted to men, for example, but not want to get involved with cis men, because of perhaps a history of abuse or oppression. you do not have to justify your choices to participate or not participate in sexual or romantic relationships with anyone, regardless of your orientation. ever.

what would be problematic would be identifying your entire orientation as trans-exclusive or -inclusive, because that quantifies transgender persons as a holistic group who have a single identity, which is not true. anyone you know could be trans without your awareness, and if your interest in or perception of them would wane upon this knowledge, you should consider inspecting yourself for internalized transphobia.

And now that you’ve read all that, please return to the main idea at the beginning of my answer:  The only reason you should have sex with someone is because everyone involved mutually consents to having sex.

TLDR: No, genital preferences aren’t inherently transphobic. But it is transphobic to make a blanket statement saying that you wouldn’t date a transgender person because you assume that all trans women have penises (this is wrong because some trans women have gotten surgery and do have vaginas). 

It’s also transphobic to equate gender to genitals and say you’re interested in women because you’re attracted to vagina, which assumes that all women have vaginas (this is wrong because some trans women have penises). You can say that you’re attracted to women and you can say you’re attracted to vaginas, but those are two separate statements and saying the first doesn’t necessarily mean saying the second one for some folks.

So don’t assume that all trans people with a particular gender have a particular set of genitals, or assume that you know if/how they want to use those genitals, and then you’re fine.

[wittyy-name]

(Sexuality anon here) So I grew up in a very homophobic environment. I made myself believe I was straight because I knew the alternative was unacceptable. I grew up homophobic as well. About 8 years ago (I'm 30), I finally acknowledged that I was pan. Now, though, I've realized that being in a relationship with a guy (I'm a girl) makes me uncomfortable -- despite spending 20+ years wanting a relationship with a guy. (1/2)

Ya know, when I saw your first message about a advice on your sexuality, I kinda had a feeling it was gonna be something like this. I think I can help.

Okay so, the first thing I want you to understand is that you don’t have to have your life 100% together by 30. You don’t have to understand yourself 100% by 30. You’re not a failure if you don’t. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Life is a constant stage of change and flux. If you’re not changing, if you’re not growing, if you’re not learning, you’re not alive. There are people who learn new things about their gender and sexuality waaaay later in life. There’s no cap on that. You’re not expected to know or understand everything by 30 or any age. Especially given your background. Give yourself a little slack and go easy on yourself, okay? 

Second of all, I want you to know that I’m super fucking proud of you for opening yourself up and learning about yourself. Coming to terms with your sexuality, especially in a home environment and upbringing like that, can be extremely difficult. And you should be proud of yourself for growing so much. 

Okay, on to the rest. Honestly, my dude? Any single one of those things could be true. But you know what else? None of it invalidates your identity. 

Honestly, after being open about my sexuality and gender identity ((I’m gender fluid with a lean towards non-binary and bisexual)), and after being in a relationship with someone who is likewise on the queer scale, I don’t think I could be in a relationship with a straight cis man. And a lot of it does have to do with the heteronormativity and the exhausting toxic masculinity and just the fact that they tend to not understand. Does that mean this is always the case? No. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’d be super wary about being in a relationship with a het cis man for fear of that. 

And maybe you did repress your attraction to girls for so long that you just wanna date them. I think that’s 100% valid and completely normal. It’s something you haven’t allowed yourself to want or have, and now that you’re open about it, you want to explore those experiences and that side of you. You spent 22 years of your life convincing yourself that you couldn’t kiss girls, and now you just wanna kiss a freakin’ girl. 

And then again, maybe you did just spent 22 years of your life convinced that you were attracted to men, and then another 8 holding onto that fact bc it’s familiar. Maybe you’re not actually attracted to them and it’s just an effect of growing up forcing it on yourself and telling yourself “ah yes, this is attraction” when it wasn’t. That happens, too, and it’s also normal. 

But you know what, dude? At the end of the day, none of this invalidates your sexuality. Sexuality and attraction is fluid. It’s a flux. A swing. For most people, being attracted to/liking boys and girls feels different. It’s not always the same. Crushes can vary so much depending on the person, no matter the gender. You can be attracted to guys and not wanna date them, and still be pan/bi. You can be attracted to guys only like 1% of the time, and still be pan/bi. You can go through a phase where no dude catches your attention at all, and still be pan/bi. 

No one else can put a label on your sexuality but you. You can choose what makes you feel the best. And you can change. Maybe it’s just a phase that you don’t wanna be with dudes right now, and that’s fine. Maybe it’s not a phase and down the road you’ll learn that you really only like girls. That’s fine, too. You can change your label at the age of 50, and no one can say shit about it bc it’s your life. 

Attraction is rarely static. It rarely stays the same. It’s fluid, and can go all over the place. You can go through swings and phases of being attracted to A more than B. Or X more than Y. This more than that. Maybe it’ll swing the other way someday. Maybe it won’t. But you know what? You can still be pan, if that’s what makes you happy. If that’s what makes you comfortable. 

If you don’t wanna date guys? That’s fine, man. Don’t get so hung up on the why and the what does this mean. It just means you’re human, and you’re looking for another human who will make you comfortable and happy.

[moidse]

bro-- long time no chat!!

things have been better good lately between me and the partner. a few weeks ago- well probably more than a month ago now... i read a tweet that hit me about loving someone fully-- i felt like i was holding back because they are moving away, and so i was shutting them off slowly to protect myself instead of loving them fully-- because i had already made the decision that we wont work out when they move, and i realized that isn’t true necessarily. the future is malleable. And plus reading their ish about me sending emails had me stop cuz i was like ah. lol. but idk i have been feeling like im in a new funk lately

I just miss having good sex. I feel very uncomfortable in my body. I’ve gained a decent amount of weight in the last 6 months and I feel significantly less attractive. I feel bad I’m not having good sex and I do not feel confident that I could attract someone and have better sex with where my body is right now. I also feel uncomfortable to be on camera because of my body weight and I am too big for my cute outfits from last year. I also partly feel like I gain more weight when im with someone and when im single i push myself more to be fit to attract people and to feel more confident going on dates. I almost think I need a pause from hanging out with my partner until I have my workout routine down and i’m taking it seriously, because I know going to their house and doing nothing isn’t what I want to be doing anymore. I want to be working out and losing weight. I want to be working on my creative projects. I want to be moving forward. I need to continue creating content. 

I am missing having good sex again. which is a feeling that seems to swing like a pendulum. it comes and goes every month or 2. The past few times has been me wanting to top and touch my partner and they were like okay i’m cool with that now. and even before that it was about them touching me and why wont the go down on me and then after i complained they just did it, even though before they said they were too nervous. And it is amazing to think of, in the past,, idk 6 months how far they’ve come. They literally didn’t even want to be naked around me, didn’t want me to touch them at all-- and for the first time recently they are asking me to touch them now... but it still doesn’t hit right.... like when i have sex with them the orgasms are soooo small... i cum harder when im alone. which is the sad truth. 

This has all made me better realize how sex is something very important to me in a relationship. I feel like at first I was hesitant to say something like that because I’ve had people in the past act as if all I care about is sex and i’m a fuck boy... which, sex isn’t the only thing I care about but it is something I do care about and matters to me when it comes to dating and there isn’t any thing wrong with that. It took me years to except my sexuality and I learned there is no reason to hide my sexual wants and desires and I feel like people have acted like im some super horny sex freak when I just learned not to be ashamed of my sexual desires, literally like how must white str8 men are, but because im perceived as a black woman, i’m the one who is being deviant.

It took me a long time to accept my sexuality, and then it took me even longer to accept my sexually kinky bdsm desires. It took me so long to learn that there isn’t any reason to be ashamed of wanting to be dominated. I’m allowed to be more masc presenting and be a bottom. Like i really was so embarrassed about that for so long-- probably because I hung out with only str8 white cis men who would find it embarrassing if they wanted to be dominated, because they can only be dominate in bed otherwise other people might judge them... anyways im so glad i do not hang with any str8 cis white boys anymore, they really had a bad influence on me when it came to my views on dating, sex, and women. they all talk about it like women are real people and i also was guilty of that. i’ve grown a lot since being in college. It was when i was half way through college i started accepting the fact that i like the idea of being sexually dominated. i like tall women. i love muscular women. i love people who are tops, dominate, who want to be called daddy. I love all that shit. and when i would mention it to my white str8 cis dude friends they would react in disgust. and honestly it taught me if ppl react that way to my sexual desires that have taken me so long to accept, then they have no space in my friend circles. im basically done being friends with str8 white cis people. they are exhausting to be friends with. 

but anyways, last year,,, ehhh it always feels like it was last year but i guess it was two years ago,, well partly last year.. idk ... anyways when i met o**** That relationship was the first time I was open with someone I was having sex with about being trans and my dysphoria and they honestly responded so well and fucked me in very affirming ways and it made me cry because i had never felt such joy before when having sex and feeling gender euphoria. 

I always thought that I didn’t want to be in a relationship that was like butch/femme when i was a baby dyke. I used to not want a  relationship that even resembled heterosexuality in anyway. but when i was with o**** i felt we had that dynamic of butch/femme. like when we went out it was clear who the “guy” in the relationship was and it was me. it was clear I was filling that role and they filled the other role and to my surprise i loved it. I loved having that dynamic. I loved going to the sex shop with them and the worker helping me get a masc harness and then assuming they want a femme one. I loved knowing that out in public people see me as the guy in the relationship-- because I want to be seen as a guy in general. Being with them opened up this whole side of gender euphoria I had never felt before. That relationship helped me better understand what I want and am looking for. Not to mention the sex was amazing, the best i’ve ever had. 

When we first started dating I would top them and it felt great and amazing. Then when I opened up and said I like to be dominated too, they just slide right into that roll with little to no hesitation. And then they started dominating and topping me and found that they really like it. It was the hottest sex I’ve ever had. I’ve always wanted to be dominated and having a dominate femme is so hot. My sexual dreams were finally coming true. And because things were so easy for us sexually I think I just assumed it would always be that way. 

Its unfortunate that o**** is such a manipulative person otherwise I’d still be talking to them/fucking them. I still think about approaching them with the idea of just having a sexual relationship and not romantic and see if they are interested. but now isn’t a good time with rona. but anyways, Things working out with us so well sexually I assumed that would just be how it is if I open up and share my wants and desires. I didn’t want to be dating o*** I just wanted to be dominated again and I had gotten it out of my system and they confessed that they still see me as the love of their life, which is the opposite of how I felt so it felt like things should end here. But lets be real, I str8 up dropped them, ghosted them, because I no longer needed their fuck because I had found someone new k****. As soon as k**** said they thought I was cute back I was like BINGO and I legit just dropped o****. I felt like a beast. I felt like a boss ass bitch. Like damn, I have never gotten back with someone to have a good time to just drop them once I found someone new that maybe has potential. 

But me feeling like a boss ass bitch came to a halt when like a day later or something k**** was like im really busy with pride and then im leaving for the summer. I was like wow great. I really didn’t want to take this L so I went out of my way to hit on them constantly at cpride as much as I could. Then I finally got them to agree to see be before they leave. it went well. then over the summer I was soooo anxious about every email. I just didn’t want them to lost interest in me and also it was hard to respond to their emails because they were boring lmao. I also was stressed because there was like zero flirting going on and every time i’d try to move the conversation there they would take two steps back. This made me even more insecure and not sure if they even liked me. And I made the stupid move of not trying to hit on anyone else out of fear of them coming back and me having to pick one or explain and shit. meanwhile they were dating other people. its so annoying. its so annoying that im the one not satisfied and they got to date and be with other people... but i guess thats just cuz no one else wanted to be with me......I was literally only okay with it cuz i thought s***** liked me and they didn’t... they lowkey played me... but also i should’ve taken the mixed signals as a no, but i wanted to believe it so bad, and it was confusing when they said they want to make out with me more. i thought i was in... oh well... it happens... it just sucks to be rejected. i always feel like the people i want the most never want me, or like the hottest people, cuz i didn’t really like them deeply just mostly sexually. it just sucked because they were giving me every thing k**** wasn’t. being lovey and affectionate towards me.... and we never fucked but they were very open about being a top and wanting to dom and so i was like *tongue out emoji* 

bleh... i just have been missing being dominated lately... i mean i fuckin had a dream about s***** topping me... askvask it was good in the dream....but there is something depressing about k***** having like zero daddy energy. like i really didn’t realize this was gonna happen... like i was str8 up gooped when they casually texted me saying they don’t fuck... i was like wait what?? i felt played that they waited months of us talking and emailing to say that. And I stuck by them cuz I had already formed an emotional bond-- but i’m realizing the tricky part about this is that like having to wait to have sex with someone,, like I never knew if we would be a sexual match and honestly neither did they but it wasn’t a deal breaker for them.. i just feel bad to like help them come out of their shell and feel autonomy with having sex for the first time and shit and for me to be like well you aren’t my type sexually. but it is the truth. they aren’t my type sexually. like the other day i mentioned wanting to be dommed and they were like i dont do that... and i was like ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... i need to be more upfront and say im looking for a top/dom/daddy, or someone who switches and is down to play that way some of the time. cuz this none of the time shit stank. 

I mean, they look hot, don’t get me wrong. they look so good in their little body suits and they really make me wanna top them, but its like they have no confidence in being a bottom too. I feel like that’s why this shit really stank. at first they was like yeah i’ll touch you but dont touch me. But also I am not into being a top/dom. but also you can’t touch me so this is all you can get. Me, unenthusiastically rubbing you off. but now that they do let me touch them, it’s like i want the whole bottom experience. like shake ur tiny ass for me baby. run ur hands up and down ur bottom. show me how far you can stretch ur leg. I want a sloppy slutty bottom. I want them to shake their ass on my d and bend over for me. Tell me how good it feels. I want our sex to be so hot we can’t keep our hands off each other. We have phone sex and send voice memos because we just need to hear each other cum. I want them to want to ride my d. 

I feel this way every 2 months or so... idk what to do about it. I don’t want to break up with them and be alone. I do want to be having sex with someone else... I just dont have any prospects. 

lets hypothetically think about the idea of bringing up to them that I want to fuck other people. lets say we have that talk and they are okay with it. My worry is if i meet someone nice who fucks me good i will just leave k****. 

i just miss being topped and I dont think I will ever be sexually satisfied in the relationship I’m in and it’s just unfortunate because I was very patient with them and waiting like 8 months before I could even touch them and they seemed comfortable having sex with me and it’s like, waiting that long i was never sure if we were sexually compatible and we just aren’t. And i understand they mostly have been with asexual people and it hasn’t been an issue but i think this wouldn’t have happened if in the beginning we had a conversation about sex to see if we are sexually compatible. 

[joie-university-rp]

Dear, PHOENIX LOPEZ,

It is with great pleasure we invite you admission to Joie University! Welcome to the Thunderclap family!

–

Congratulations, JAY! Please be sure to check the New Members’ Checklistand send in your character’s account within 24 hours from now. We cannot wait to see all that you will bring to this roleplay! We love you already!

OOC INFORMATION:

Name/Alias; preferred pronouns: JayJay / he/him

Age, Timezone: 23 / EST

Activity, short explanation: I will be only on weekdays, I work at the hospital on the weekends (i’ll still try to be on then) but i will be on every day during the week.

Ships: Phoenix / Male

Anti-Ships: Phoenix / Females. Phoenix/Anti Chemistry

Triggers: RFP

Preferred photo for Character’s ID (please give a link): https://teeninfonet.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/joenylonouttake-featured.png?w=500&h=494

Anything else: I believe that is it!! Oh he is for Santana’s adopted brother connection!

IC INFORMATION:

Full Name: Phoenix Orion Lopex

FC: Joe Jonas

Age/Year at University: 18, Freshman

Birth date: April 12th, 2001

Hometown: Miami, Florida

Gender/Pronouns: Cis Male/He-Him

Sexuality: Homosexual

Major(s): Sports Medicine, Radio and Television

Minor(s) [optional]: Music, Journalism

Housing request: Scheuster Dormitory Room 106 (Double)

Extracurriculars: President of Club Drama, Vice President Club Film, Dance and Drill, New Directions, LGBT+ Association, President of Science Club

Greek Life Affiliation: Plans to Rush ZB

CHARACTER PROFILE:

TW: Homophobia, internalized homophobia, drug mention, escapism

Phoenix was adopted to the Lopez family when he was just a baby. Enrique and Maribel had reached a point in their lives where they weren’t able to conceive not long after Satana was born, so they reached out to an adoption agency to adopt one last child.

Phoenix always knew that he wasn’t fully related to the Lopez’s, because they were Hispanic and he was Caucasian, but that never stopped him from feeling like apart of the family or as if he was an outsider. He got into arguments and other sibling things with Santana, Cristian and Rafael like any other siblings would.

One thing that he loved about his sibling bond with the other three was that whenever they hung out they would talk about other’s in Spanish. Their dynamic between all of them is what really made him feel as if he fit in the family.

He has hung around a rough crowd when he was younger and developed that Miami sass. So he doesn’t have a problem with speaking his mind or being blunt and open about things. And he tends to be a firecracker when he is angry - he’s has a few shares of fights, brawls, etc. so he definitely can back up what his mouth puts out there. All of which has gotten him in trouble with his parents many times.

But his biggest trial to date is - his homosexuality. His is currently in the closet, hoping that coming to Joie could bring that out of him. But his parents have never spoke highly of gay men or lesbians, quite the opposite actually. They would make fun of gay waiters, who had certain postures or held his hands a certain type of way. They would throw away dishes from new gay neighbors in the neighborhood and stop them from trick or treating. They would even ban tv shows and movies with gay characters in them.

Phoenix noticed that he wasn’t heterosexual when he was working out with his brothers. One being a marine and the other being a police office -who better to work out with. But when they got sweaty and took off their shirts it became hard for Phoenix to concentrate. He couldn’t stop staring or imaging things. But he couldn’t tell them that - he was scared that they would kick his ass.

But what really confirmed his sexuality was when he and his friends pretended to be college students and got into a party for some frat, that belonged to University of Miami, he has sex with a guy. It was the best thing in the world and it played over and over in his head for months. He even saw the guy more and more after that.

When he got serious with the guy, he was going to tell his parents, but his parents had made a comment saying something about ‘gays are going to hell and have no place in heaven'  and the fact that his maternal aunt and abuela disowned his female cousin for marrying a woman that made him retract his ideas of thinking of telling his parents. The guy he was seeing wanted them to become public - but Phoenix wasn’t ready for that and wanted to stay in the closet a bit longer. But a big argument lead to them breaking up.

The family noticed a change in Phoenix then. Whenever they went to their abuela side of town, he went looking for drugs, fights, sex with random girls - and since it was the slightly lower end side of town he found them things. But after his abuela put him in his place, he didn’t do those things anymore.

Instead his put his focus on school, singing, and acting. He wanted to be an actor, but he knew his parents wouldn’t think of that as an 'career’ so he decided to make everyone focus on him becoming a general practitioner, while worked to have the career that he actually wanted.

By the time he graduated, he was ready to get the hell out of Miami and away from his family. He had slept with many girls, had a pregnancy scare or two, and just became a shallow shell - to cope with hiding who he was he became a workaholic, working himself until he passed out from being tired. But he was looking forward to coming out of his shell, and the closet, once he was accepted into Joie University.

STUDENT CENSUS SURVEY:

(Please answer the following questions IN CHARACTER. Responses can be as long or short as you see fit!)

What made you want to attend Joie University? - Joie is one of the most prestigious schools in the world. I won’t settle for less when it comes to my career and things that I want to do with it. When I become a famous singer and actor, or even General Practitioner, I want people to know that I am an amazing worker, entertainer, etc. because I went to a school that challenged me and push me to my hardest to shape me for those careers.

What are at least 3 positive or neutral and at least 3 negative traits that you believe you possess? My determination, loyalty, and adaptability - I feel as if I don’t have any negative traits, because all negatives can be turned into a positive. But since you want to insist, my temper, selflessness, and attitude.

Which of your traits do you value most? - My determination. I am a person who sees a goal and goes after that goal. I do everything I can to get it. I am not one to sit around and say 'what if’ - there is not time for all of that.

How can that trait benefit the University (or its student body) as a whole? - If everyone had my determination then I think Joie University would be more popular and sought after, because at the end of the day it’s how the students work, excel, and succeed that gives the university its prestige. And what fuels success is determination.

What do you hope to gain from your experience at JU? - I hope to find out more about myself, since the school does help create new relationships, while getting an education that would lead to me getting the career of my dreams.

What is a quote or song lyric that describes you? - “Baby put your arms around me Tell me I’m a problem Know I’m not the boy you thought you knew and that you wanted Underneath the pretty face is something complicated I come with a side of trouble But I know that’s why you’re staying,”

[lesbitchka]

(submission)

I am sending this from a friend’s blog, not my own, because I’m overly anxious and don’t know how submissions work and… if my url was somehow posted with this and the guy I’m talking about found it things wouldn’t be good and I’m jsut too anxious to take that chance on something I don’t know the workings of. I’d appreciate if you had a way to omit my friends url though and answer this anonymously but if you can’t they said it’s okay. I’ll see this because I follow you on my blog. Thank you so much.

So this is a long question and I didn’t want it to get split up because it’s sorta important it’s coherent. Also I’m sorry if it’s not totally relevant, I’m not sure who else I could mention this with.

I recently turned 16, but when this all started, I was 15. I’m also a trans boy. I met a person who identifies as Asexual Demiromantic Gay Trans Demiboy. He was 20. But we were the the same fandom and had a lot of the same ships, so we got to talking and hit it off really well. We became friends outside of fandom pretty quickly. (He actually mostly just won’t talk with me about fandom stuff anymore… like he’ll listen to me but won’t engage on it.)

I came out when I was 12 and started transitioning. My family is really supportive and has helped me tons through everything. I was on testosterone at 14 and was approved for top surgery when I was 15 (and got it a month after my 16th birthday). So, yeah. Really supportive environment.

Needless to say, I find relating to other trans people difficult because I don’t go through a lot of the struggles they do. I used to go to trans social groups in my area but I’d always be singled out if I slipped up in the slightest to give a hint of how supportive my environment was.

I’ve gotten a lot better with this, but a roughly year ago, I wasn’t.

We were talking about attraction one day and I expressed that I would probably only date a cis boy.

And he flipped out.

He had said it was because everyone only liked cis boys. His ex apparently left him for a cis guy. And he said something weird, I don’t remember what.

And then it came out that he liked me, romantically.

Everything has been shit since then because I don’t like him back. I can’t define why, but he always asks and hates on himself, his body and being trans.

I’ve been pressured to give him reasons. I’ve discovered a lot about myself through that. I mean it’s fucked me up a lot, but I’ve come to understand more about my attraction. I’ve tried to explain to him. It’s not because he’s trans. I just don’t like him like that–I’d date a trans boy if I liked him!

But, uh. I also found that I’m probably hypersexual, or, at least, in a relationship, I feel as though I would need to be sexually desired to few valid. So this is obviously a reason I couldn’t date an asexual–asexuality is literally not experiencing sexual attraction. Maybe arousal and all, but not attraction.

I tried to explain this to him recently. And he tried to tell me that’s not how it works. He said he could want me sexually, and then explained that if I bought him strawberry pop tarts he’d hop right into bed with me, if that’s what I wanted. He told me I misunderstood him.

Now he’s constantly fighting with me telling me it isn’t fair. I think he’s trying to convince me I don’t know who I like or not. He’s super important to me, and I feel close to him like I haven’t someone before. But that’s not really special, I have unique attachments to most individuals in my life. I’m also an affectionate person. He tells me I treat him like a boyfriend. I tried to tone down my affection but if I cut it all out it’s just. “Hey!” And he’ll respond with “Hi.” And it’s. Dull and just a couple words, because he won’t talk to me about fandom or anything anymore. Just. How’s your day. I’m going to McDonalds. Etc. and then he gets sad and mad with me.

We obviously have very different views on affection and the likes, but I’ve explained a thousand times I don’t mean anything romantic by it. He just cries and gets mad at me and yells some (we have voice called when this happened).

He keeps asking how I know what i feel for him isn’t romantic attraction.

And he STRICTLY dates trans boys. He hates trans girls with a burning passion, like. If I mention it he flips and goes off. He also hates cis men. (Which I don’t understand, because he loves trans men…?) And he doesn’t hate cis girls but he’s not into them. So, yeah. Only trans boys.

And I just… I don’t know what to do. I don’t understand what it is to be demiromantic. He said it’s taking time to have romantic attraction until you really know someone, but I thought that’s how romantic attraction worked… and also he developed feelings for me in a couple of months, not even half a year, and at that point we mostly talked about cool characters. Nothing deep or emotional or about each other really.

And the whole asexual… but has the capacity to be sexually attracted to me thing, I don’t get that. He says I give him feelings he’s never had before. It’s stressful and I don’t get it and he won’t explain. Is it some part of the MOGAI community, like the concept of “good aces” having sex to make their partner happy…?

I almost feel like he only likes me because I’m a trans guy. It makes me feel fetishized–but like. I’d probably be more comfortable with some cis person expressing their attraction to my transness. Because he seems to think there’s nothing wrong with it at all. And there isn’t, I guess, I mean if you’re only comfy dating trans guys like yourself then I guess you are but? He claims to be demiromantic but “fell” for me so fast and it just makes me really uncomfortable. He focuses on it a lot, too. He still gets mad at me and claims I don’t like him because he doesn’t have a dick, even though I’ve explained countless times that I’ve worked through that and it isn’t about him being trans. I also feel like in his saying “no one wants a trans boy” (about himself apparently) he’s almost… trying to convince me that he’s the only person who will ever want me. But maybe I’m just paranoid? I don’t know…

And then, attraction. I mean… I… think I’d know what romantic attraction feels like. And sexual. Attraction in general. Isn’t it defined by individual? Or is he right? Am I romantically attracted to him and just… don’t understand or something?

I’m afraid that if I ever date he’ll kill himself. If I mention having a crush or even liking the idea of a person who would like, get me daisies, he flips out and won’t speak to me proper and is grumpy for days. He’s said that I’m all he lives for. That he schedules his day around me. That he should just kill himself because he’s “horrible” and I’d be “happier” and he’s “always going to be hung up on a guy (he) can’t have anyways”.

I know he’s genuinely suicidal. But he won’t talk to me about everything else… it only ever comes out if I’m going somewhere with someone who could potentially be a person I might like, or if I comment that there was a cute guy walking down the street or that I like the hair of a boy at school today.

I’m sorry that this is a lot. I didn’t know who to talk to about it–I don’t really have anyone, and a lot of it is based on attraction and asexuality and.. I’ve followed your blog for a while and you’re really knowledgeable and post lots of various resources hat I’ve felt are relevant before. I think I mostly just needed to get this out here… but if you can help me understand anything I’d really appreciate it.

first of all, i’m really glad that you came to me with this. i know it must have taken a lot of courage and you might even feel guilty for doing so - but it’s incredibly important that you reached out

i’m sorry, this is going to be hard to hear, but the best course of action for you and your well-being is to drop that guy and erase him out of your life, asap

now, he’s 20 years old. you’re 16, and were 15 when you met. that is not healthy and is already enough of a red flag (look at this post, and this tag). friendship? sure. there need to be boundaries, but sure. this thing he’s got going on? no way

“I’ve been pressured to give him reasons. I’ve discovered a lot about myself through that. I mean it’s fucked me up a lot, but I’ve come to understand more about my attraction. I’ve tried to explain to him. It’s not because he’s trans. I just don’t like him like that–I’d date a trans boy if I liked him!”

you should not be pressured to give someone reasons for why you won’t date them and the fact that he continues to press the subject just shows that he can’t take “no” for an answer, which also shows a sense of entitlement to other people. another red flag

“He said he could want me sexually, and then explained that if I bought him strawberry pop tarts he’d hop right into bed with me, if that’s what I wanted. He told me I misunderstood him.” 

yeah, no, he’s the one willfully ‘misunderstanding’. it’s not about having sex, but about being wanted sexually. like you said, ace people don’t experience sexual attraction and you’re fully within your rights to not want someone who can’t give you what you need in a relationship. more in this tag

“Now he’s constantly fighting with me telling me it isn’t fair. I think he’s trying to convince me I don’t know who I like or not.”

that’s manipulative and trying to convince you to subscribe to his views and beliefs, no matter how much they contradict yours, to get you to doubt your own perceptions. huge red flag

“He tells me I treat him like a boyfriend.“

again, manipulative. lots of people are affectionate and close with their friends

“I don’t understand what it is to be demiromantic. He said it’s taking time to have romantic attraction until you really know someone, but I thought that’s how romantic attraction worked… and also he developed feelings for me in a couple of months, not even half a year, and at that point we mostly talked“

demiromantic is not in any way a useful label, because everyone experiences attraction differently and saying otherwise suggests that everyone else falls in love at first sight

“And the whole asexual… but has the capacity to be sexually attracted to me thing, I don’t get that. He says I give him feelings he’s never had before. It’s stressful and I don’t get it and he won’t explain. Is it some part of the MOGAI community, like the concept of “good aces” having sex to make their partner happy…?”

i linked the sex positive ace tag above; if he’s ace it’s unhealthy for the both of you to have sex. again, it feels more like he’s trying to manipulate you into dating him (the whole “i’ve never felt like this before” thing) - another red flag

“He still gets mad at me and claims I don’t like him because he doesn’t have a dick, even though I’ve explained countless times that I’ve worked through that and it isn’t about him being trans. I also feel like in his saying “no one wants a trans boy” (about himself apparently) he’s almost… trying to convince me that he’s the only person who will ever want me. But maybe I’m just paranoid? I don’t know…”

he’s willfully ignoring what you’re saying, again, in favour of trying to guilt you into dating him. with what i know of him so far, i’m pretty sure he is playing the “no one else will date you” angle - not only is that not true, but it’s another huge red flag

“Or is he right? Am I romantically attracted to him and just… don’t understand or something?“

no, he’s not right, but he’s been working you and guilt tripping you long enough to make you doubt yourself  

“I’m afraid that if I ever date he’ll kill himself. If I mention having a crush or even liking the idea of a person who would like, get me daisies, he flips out and won’t speak to me proper and is grumpy for days. He’s said that I’m all he lives for. That he schedules his day around me. That he should just kill himself because he’s “horrible” and I’d be “happier” and he’s “always going to be hung up on a guy (he) can’t have anyways”.

I know he’s genuinely suicidal. But he won’t talk to me about everything else… it only ever comes out if I’m going somewhere with someone who could potentially be a person I might like, or if I comment that there was a cute guy walking down the street or that I like the hair of a boy at school today.”

he might be suicidal, he might not, but the fact that it only ever comes up when you mention the prospect of being interested in someone - again - shows that he’s manipulating and guilting you into cutting off other people and just going for him instead. huge, huge red flag

i know it’s hard to let go of someone you care about and who you’ve known for so long, especially when they keep threatening suicide whenever you hint at relationships with other people and you think you’re responsible for their mental well-being - but this is not healthy and the sooner you cut him out of your life, the better

you don’t owe him anything. not a relationship, not even a friendship, and you certainly don’t have to and should not stick around just because he’s guilted you into worrying what he might do if you try to leave. he’s not your responsibility, not to mention he’s a grown fucking adult who should know better than to pull any of this on a minor

the best thing you can do is to block him, change urls and move on. you don’t owe him any explanations, and trying to have a conversation about you needing to get away from him would undoubtedly turn ugly, with yet more guilt tripping you to stay. that will make it even harder to leave and he will be on the lookout for any following signs of you trying to get away

im here for you if you need someone to talk to and please do message me to let me know you’re safe 

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

In the way you said it

Whenever there’s representation In a manner that can be called queer Your tone and comments turn so nasty Your mouth curls up into a sneer It’s in the tone of your voice as you watch it The characters just interact You don’t openly say what you think But empathy for them you lack.

You openly mock certain groupings Try to engage me as well But it’s not funny the stereotyping Your unsaid sentences manage to tell.

Yes two guys on tv had some pet names But so do the straight couples too Exactly what part of their relationship Is considered taboo to you?

We stopped watching more than one show Because of the relationships within Now forgive me, but we’re not religious So you can’t possibly see it as sin In fact when the words you don’t say The laughter that openly rings About two girls in love or a transperson Are the reason no one tells you things.

According to Mulan its not genitals That define if you are a man It’s got more to do with the moon and storms Than what’s inside of your pants.

In the same vein a woman can be Anything she should so choose But neither or both, intermittently Are an identity, regardless of your views.

The person you like, love or lust after Can be any gender at all It’s really up to the individual involved To make that judgement call.

No they don’t advocate child-abuse Nor what the media will say But two legal adults consenting To be together will not ruin your day.

It’s odd to hear the hatred inspired And experience the lack of empathy felt Towards two or more characters in media Dealing with circumstances dealt.

What’s the difference between the relationships If they are straight or something else? The shows all deal with their complex situations And give sappy scenes designed to make you melt.

Where’s the empathy lost on the way, When the young woman decides on a wife Over some boring love interest dude to order Who was clearly stifling her life?

When the character realises his friends are attractive In a more than No Homo way Why the sudden disinterest in watching or reading Anything that features ‘a gay’?

The thing is it’s all just labels designed to Try to categorise what differs from the norm To be honest, it’s a tad frustrating Orientation is not as simple as filling out a form.

Some people feel nothing romantic Others for multiple persons at once Some people want to go out on a picnic by a lake Or hold hands with their love over lunch.

They are not all heterosexuals, Nor, to be fair, are they all cis But the reality is what’s it your business To feel that you can judge them for this.

It’s so tiring hearing what you say, Even more in the derision of tone As if, by pretending to not be disgusted You are doing ‘all those people’ a boon.

Well the reality is passive-aggression... Tends to be more the latter For if it lent more towards the former You should hardly consider this a matter.

Representation is important to those Who rarely ever see themselves in stories It covers more than orientations And frankly, The Straights™ are just getting boring.

Can we take another white couple Another comedic romance Where the premise is either believes in love And all the chemistry of a dead plant?

Perhaps it would be nice for once To hear the ‘B’ word on the screen For trans, POC and Disabled to have Their own heroes, that is the dream.

It’s so easy to mock and despise those Whose life and barriers you cannot understand To understand the fight that has led to, Two gay characters being  able to hold hands.

Tut if you must, but it’s happening There are shows in the world just for those Whose existences and viewpoints are usually marginalised The age of Baby Boomer draws to a close.

In this society different is frightening Labelled as wrong or obscene How can the haters be so sanctimonious Considering their hands are not clean?

The conservatives voted in a man who Who pays people to kiss his posterior But even compared to his childish ilk Your negative commentary comes across as inferior.

So you don’t like to see two people kissing,  Unless it’s a woman and man, Somehow the merest things are sexualised, When you view two women holding hands.

If a man calls his partner babe, Sweetiepie, Darl or Megatron, The reality is, what is it to you, Take a look at your flaws, reflect, move on.

You don’t want to see it in public, And you question their ability to work in certain occupations Many don’t want to have them near their homes And actively exclude their ‘wrong’ neighbours.

How will that look on your final report, Before the great lord almighty? You know, the guy you always tote out, To sanctimoniously condescend ‘righteously’.

All people are humans created equal It is the society you uphold that picks and chooses Who meets the questionable standards Or normality, and decides based on birth, who loses.

You claim that tolerance is key when, Dealing with anyone falling under ‘those people’ Because in your mind and your manner and words, They cannot possibly be equal.

Some see them as sub-human, Because of orientation, ability or skin But the reality is that the hatred inspires Bands the minorities together as kin.

They find their own spaces, and shows and representations Despite the prejudice that suppresses The evidence of inherent biology, their individuality To choose the narrative of psychological messes.

Perhaps you should date a boy instead, Lesbians often are advised. Is this about not having a father figure? Of gay men, a rhetoric that never tires.

Bisexuals, Aces and the followers of Pan Hear just as many ridiculous ideaologies As if the only conceptual path In life, is monosexual monotony.

We ask of the ace what is wrong with them, To not want certain contact or touch, Always ‘jokingly’ stating, That without sex what is the use of love?

The Pan, Poly, Bisexuals prefer certain people Sometimes two or more at a singular time It does not automatically assume adultery, And yet the association is always put to mind.

You laugh aloud at the very concept, Of a woman with breasts, and a phallus instead Of what you think should perhaps be, Situated between her legs.

Likewise when a young man has to wear A binder to suppress his chest, There’s always someone out there who dares Ask why ‘she’ is not in a dress.

Have you ever considered it is not, Nor ever really has had anything to do With your thoughts or beliefs, not your business It is their lives, and does not include you?

From the generation that endorsed a series Filled with abuse and assault Don’t blame the gays for your follies 50Shades was the heteros’ fault.

To be blunt, it is just so tiring To see and hear people of all types demeaned Because the ideology of difference disconcerts you And therefore must be obscene.

The fact is your words do unseen damage To people you pass everyday Mockery and condemnation build walls And turn friends and family away.

How could they tell someone like you, The person with a poisoned tongue That they fit the categories of those you condemn Your words wound both old and young. It is always a joke, a laugh, lighten up now ‘You need to stop being so severe, You and your silly internet culture, Where everyone thinks they’re ‘queer’!’

Back in your day... you start with, As young people more informed roll their eyes You claim that ‘x’ never existed Never considering they did, in disguise.

Even now people cannot be open, Holding hands in public tends to invite Someone lewd to proposition or harass them Tongues wag if you dare stay the night.

So of course historical figures, then and now, From Achilles to Sappho, were very open In fact you’ll find that their lives were revised By the straight archaeologists who cloaked them.

People have been people for a long time, It didn’t overtly matter to many If your husband or wife, or mate for life Wore a toga, dress or barely any.

Recently people have gotten hung up Moreso than ever before About which people you SHOULD be with And it’s really quite the bore.

Men have loved men for forever, Entire societies founded on this ideal And women have loved other women Since before civilisation was real.

Some fall into either category, both at once Or then again neither, these individuals exist And have done so, sucessfully For long enough to do without your ire.

Ancient Egypt buried their people, With great ceremony, purpose and pomp Their transgendered persons always honoured correctly, Would you dare to claim they were wrong?

Evidence and history have heroes,  Many of whom have been ‘revised’ For societal consumption as ‘everyday heroes’ Hiding their non-standard husbands and wives.

Look to Hercules and the Gods of Olympus They had a rolicking gay time But dare ask a historian about certain art And they’ll have heterosexualty in mind.

The purpose is to say, here That the reality is, all through history, we existed... Beyond tv and comics and other media It’s not a new fad that we twisted.

So sneer if you must when the two girls kiss, Or put down your book in disgust When the two male characters realise their infatuation Was not with the anticipated one.

But the story and characters are still there, Whether you choose to consume But perhaps consider this instead, livelaughlover They were not created for You.

To see yourself represented, Be it on page or screen As something other than the punchline or villain Feels like a wonderful dream.

It gives a sense of belonging, Normality in a world that blatantly refutes The existence of people outside of a bubble But some media actively salutes it.

An encouragement meant for the groupings Who need to see those people existing at all, The two boys on a date, the transgirl in a promdress Just humans, seeing, doing, being, normal.

So perhaps before you sneer or comment Perhaps before it’s ‘just joking’ Think about why you are acting that way,  Who, in society or family, are you quoting?

Why would you consider this person contemptible Below even basic empathy and compassion When exactly did hatred and bigotry Suddenly rise into high fashion?

They are not the heroes we need, my friend But they are the representation we deserve So let go of your prejudiced ideals They are nothing you need to preserve.

- - - -

I don’t know what this is, but sometimes you hear old people complaining and it’s so tiring...