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writingtraumaforever · 27 days ago

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A Courtship Christmas: Chapter 4

Notes: Hello! With the Sonadow tag booming right now after the movie, we have a LOT of new readers! I want to welcome everyone along for the ride, and thank you all for joining! Hope you all enjoy this chapter and check out my blog’s writing masterpost for more of my work! Also a quick reminder that this series was started before the movie came out, so there will be minor inconsistencies with the canon movies but nothing too major.

Summary: Shadow faces the ghost of Christmas past.

Courtship Series Masterpost!

Link to my AO3!

Start:

Sonic can’t find his voice. He can’t find his sanity, actually, because this is insane!! Maria can’t be alive! She died! It’s part of Shadow’s whole angsty backstory that made him into the anti-hero he is today! Sonic is pretty sure he’d know if he got such a big plot point like that wrong. And yet here standing before him is a girl with long, blonde hair, big, blue eyes, and that same wide, bright smile Sonic has seen in all the pictures. She’s wearing a red Christmas sweater and some matching ear muffs instead of her typical headband and rainbow colored sweater— but it’s still her, right???

“Are you okay??” she quirks a brow at him, her face turning to one of slight amusement but also one of concern, “You look a little.. green.”

Her accent is definitely Polish which Sonic doesn’t remember Shadow mentioning at any point. He assumed she just sounded like Gerald when she talked.

It takes Sonic way too long to answer, but he eventually does. And when he does, it maybe overcompensates a bit and is way too energetic.

“That’s funny!” Sonic practically yells with the widest smile he’s ever mustered, “Because I’m usually told I’m blue! Ha!”

She flinches slightly at his suddenly louder voice, but her smile remains as she gives a little giggle, “You’re weird..”

Sonic snorts at this, blushing a bit as he realizes that yeah, he’s being weird. He should stop.

“Well I am alien, in my defense,” Sonic smirks, leaning against the door by pulling it closer to him, so that she can’t see inside.

“That’s true,” she grins, tilting her head at him, “So what’s your name then?”

“I’m Sonic,” he answers quickly, “I came with Shadow.”

Saying he’s his boyfriend still feels so bold, and with his nerves already worked up currently, he may throw up if he adds to that.

“I assumed,” she giggles, rocking back and forth from her toes to her heels with her hands clasped behind her back and her eyes watching him filled with wonder and curiosity, “You two look a lot alike from what I’ve seen in pictures of him.”

“We get that a lot,” Sonic chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck and finding himself sweating a bit. Is it hot in here?? It’s definitely hot in here, right.

“So he’s here then??” she asks, her brows knitting with a hopeful smile, “Sorry if I sound pushy, I’ve just been dying to meet him.”

Very poor choice of words there, kiddo.

“Uhh..,” Sonic clears his throat, thinking on his feet before answering as casually as he can, “He’s kinda napping, right now.. we’re from a different time zone and all, so he’s pretty beat. Didn’t get much sleep last night, and we got up pretty early to get here.”

“Oh,” her smile falters only slightly, but she stays upbeat for the most part, “That’s okay! I can wait then. Wouldn’t want him grumpy from being tired. Though, he’s pretty grumpy in general, right??” She giggles at this, talking like she knows him when she clearly doesn’t.. or does she?

“Right..,” Sonic says with an uneasy and lopsided smile, “..I’m sorry, I’ll tell him you stopped by. What was your name again??..”

”Where are my manners?” she rolls her eyes at herself, holding her hand out to him for him to shake, “I’m Marzia. Marzia Robotnik.”

“Marzia,” Sonic repeats slowly, eyes never leaving her as he reaches a hand out to shake hers.

That’s.. real close to Maria.

None of this is sitting great with him.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he smiles nonetheless.

“You too, Sonic,” she grins, nodding her head as she retracts her hand from his, “You both will be at dinner, right??”

“Uhh- Hope to be!” he grins nervously, not offering any promises.

“Good,” she giggles before backing up, “I’ll let you two settle in and rest. Please tell Shadow I am so glad he’s here when he wakes up!”

“I will!”

And with that, she’s running off down the hall again, Mr. Tanaka waiting for her at the end of the hall with a smile on his face as he places a hand on her head and escorts her back down the stairs.

Sonic waits until they’re out of sight before he’s quickly closing the door and pressing his back to it, eyes wide and staring at Shadow now who is looking right back at him from the bed with fear in his eyes.

“Who was it??” Shadow asks before Sonic even has a chance to think of how to explain what he just saw, let alone tell Shadow, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost..”

“Well,” Sonic chokes out in an unusually high-pitched tone, clearing his throat before trying again, “It-… I-… dude, I’m not sure what I just saw..”

“What do you mean??” Shadow asks with knitted brows, more anxiety seeming to pour into his tone as his fingers curl into the comforter on either side of himself.

“Okay— let’s just breathe a second,” Sonic offers, walking towards Shadow again, but Shadow isn’t having it.

“Sonic..”

“We don’t know anything for certain, and we’ve seen some crazy shit— but not that crazy, right??”

“Sonic, what is it???”

“You’re stressed out as is, Shadow, and I don’t wanna make things worse because I’m misunderstanding something or jumping to conclusions—“

Shadow grabs Sonic by his wrists when Sonic is close enough and clutches them together in front of him, the both of them meeting eyes and Sonic’s heart stops. Shadow looks so scared.. so vulnerable.. and so lost.

“Just tell me.”

Sonic swallows.

“I think I just talked to Maria..”

Shadow blinks, big, brown eyes laced with crimson searching Sonic’s own emerald ones as if looking for some sort of cruel joke or a hint of sarcasm that he’s not catching. Shadow never has been the best at catching onto vocal cues when it comes to making jokes or being witty, but he’s certain he’s missing nothing here. Sonic is serious. Very much so. He looks just as shocked and scared as Shadow imagines he himself looks..

“But… but that’s impossible, right?? I mean, maybe I’m missing something here—“

Sonic can’t even finish the thought before Shadow is gone. The sound of air shoes kicking on and then a gust of wind, and Sonic is left standing at an empty bedside with Shadow having fled out the door.

“Fuck,” Sonic curses in a whisper before speeding off after him.

He should’ve worded that better. He shouldn’t have dropped it on him like that.

Shadow is racing down the stairs already, sliding down the railing with zero care to being a good guest at this point.

How could Maria be here???

How could she be alive???

Perhaps they managed to save her after the GUN invasion, and he was none the wiser??? Or maybe they cloned her??? They’re Robotnik’s, he doesn’t know what sort of mad scientry they’re capable of, but cloning isn’t far off the realm of possibilities with everything Shadow himself has endured. Or maybe time travel?? Or dimension hopping?? With chaos being experimented with, it’s quite possible—

He skids to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, his ear twitching at the sound of voices in the library..

“Shadow, wait—!”

He hears Sonic hiss from the top of the stairs, but he ignores this. His eyes are wide as he quickly steps to the doorway of the library and looks for the hosts of the voices.

There’s a group of children there. Two boys and a girl. Shadow hardly notices the boys, though. His eyes are locked wide and far too full of hope to be hesitant on the girl..

She’s facing away from him. Her hair long, about to her waist. Blonde. She’s about the same height Maria was.. same build. She’s got her hands on her hips and is scolding the two boys currently— all the same spunk and defensiveness as Maria can be seen from that alone.

He approaches her quietly. Slowly. Carefully.

His heart is pounding so hard in his ears, he can barely hear what she’s saying.

“He’s sleeping!” her voice sounds like Maria’s, just a different accent.. maybe she picked it up from living here?? “You two are going to just have to be patient and let him rest! He’s not a toy, he’s a person! He doesn’t have to tend to your beck and call just because you want to see him right now!”

“Uhh, Marzia?” one of the boys says, interrupting her tantrum with wide eyes staring at Shadow approaching from behind her.

“Don’t interrupt me!”

“Look..”

She pauses at this, following the boy’s pointing finger behind her and turning to find Shadow standing there a few feet before her..

Her eyes widen down at him..

Her big… brown eyes..

They’re… brown..

Sonic stands in the doorway watching, his own eyes wide in concern and fear at the sight before him.

This is either going to be really good or really bad..

“You’re awake,” she smiles, her eyes twinkling from the reflection of the fireplace as she grins at him.

Shadow just stares..

She looks just like her. Freckles speckled across her face— Shadow use to count them.. he wonders if this girl has ninety-eight, too. Same button nose. Same blonde hair that was unruly from antics she had been up to, never one to sit still..

Same pale skin..

But there’s differences..

The mole under her lower lip on the right side is missing. Her eyebrows are darker in color, making her face appear less soft than Maria’s had been and more defined..

and her eyes…

The cool, clear blue eyes that reminded him of the night sky right as the stars began to appear in it…

They were replaced by brown pools of mud. Like chocolate, or a deep caramel.

Not familiar.

Not hers.. not his Maria’s..

“I..,” Shadow tries, but his voice fails him. His hand twitches at his side as if to reach but he doesn’t. Instead it clenches there, shaky..

Sonic watches helplessly from the doorway, his eyes folding back and his tail sagging behind him as his frown becomes more prominent..

It’s not her..

Shadow is quiet for too long.

The boys behind the Maria-look-alike grow impatient with him.

“Come on then,” one spats with a huff, “Talk!”

Shadow flinches at the sudden snap from his daze, blinking his glossy eyes over to the red-headed boy who appears a year or two older than the girl.

“Yeah, come on! Show us what makes you so special!” the youngest of the children speaks, strawberry blond and full of freckles. He too seems impatient with Shadow.

“Stop being so rude!” the girl snaps at the two, turning to them again to stomp her foot at them, “You’re going to scare him off!”

Shadow stumbles back a few steps, feeling like the world is spinning and his heart is failing. Sonic takes a few steps forward to meet him halfway, catching Shadow in his arms with his chest pressed to the hybrid’s back and his arms hugged up under his partner’s.

“Shads, easy..,” he whispers, brows knit up tight as he presses his hand in Shadow’s chest fur to rest over his heart, “I’m right here. You’re okay. Just breathe—“

“Don’t touch me—“ Shadow twists in his arms, feeling incredibly overwhelmed and overstimulated as the three children bicker before him. Managing to jerk from Sonic’s hold, he turns to rush out of the room only to be halted in his tracks by a woman now standing in the doorway of the library.

Terra.

He recognizes her from photos on file Rouge had collected.

“I see the children have made their introduction. Rather rudely, if I may add,” her voice comes loud and stern, her eyes glaring at the three bickering kids in front of the fireplace.

They each three stop immediately, wide eyes staring at her before they all apologize in unison, “Sorry, Grandma Terra..”

The two boys look grouchy about their apology, but the girl seems genuine. Disappointed in herself.

“Mm..,” the woman sighs before returning her gaze to Shadow, “I too apologize. I.. didn’t want you to be introduced this way. I had hoped to greet you for myself beforehand..”

Shadow stares up at her, still feeling dazed and dizzy but trying his best to regain his composure and not make a scene by rushing out now that his host was here.

He doesn’t speak. So Terra continues.

“Would you and your friend care to join me in my office?” she tilts her head at him, Shadow staying quiet a moment before nodding a bit reluctantly.

She nods in return before turning to walk down the hall, “Follow me, then.”

Shadow spares a glance back to Sonic who is watching him as if for permission to join them. Shadow merely offers an apologetic knit of his brows for his momentary outburst towards him only moments ago before reaching a hand out for Sonic’s.

Sonic takes it without a thought, following him down the hall behind their host.

She isn’t at all what Sonic had been expecting. Perhaps he had been expecting someone older and more brittle. This woman was nothing like that.

She did in fact look like a grown up Maria. But her hair was more strawberry than blonde, a few gray streaks in it that had come from age. It was pinned up neatly on top of her head, her skin resembling porcelain without freckle or blemish, but having a few wrinkles in the corners of her eyes and around her lips. She wore a nice, red top that had a bow on one shoulder, and a formal black skirt with black boots to match. She looked very professional, very put-together, very classy.

She was intimidating… but not scary.

“I want to apologize again for not being able to greet you,” she sighs once they reach a closed door, opening it and turning on the light to reveal the warm and comfortable office inside, “I was tending to some business with my lawyer with GUN, and—“

She pauses when Shadow’s eyes meet hers, sighing quietly through her nose before offering a small smile, “None of that is why you’re here, though. So let’s not talk about that, hm?”

Shadow merely nods a bit before walking himself and Sonic into the office, Terra closing the door behind them.

“Now for proper introductions,” she says with a softer smile, “I’m Terra Robotnik,” she holds her hand out. Shadow stares at it a bit too long since he’s holding onto Sonic’s hand with his dominant one for comfort, so Sonic quickly shakes it himself with his own free hand.

“I’m Sonic,” Sonic introduces, gaining the attention of the woman, “Shadow RSVP’d a plus one? That’s me.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Sonic,” she nods politely, “I trust your travels here were safe?”

“Oh yeah. Nothing like a good ‘ole warp ring to get ya places quick!”

She blinks at this before offering a breathy little laugh, “Right, um-… And you’re Shadow..”

Her gaze returns to Shadow who still looks pretty out of it. His eyes are foggy and his cheeks look paler than normal.

He doesn’t shake her hand.

Instead, he looks right at this woman after a long moment of staring at nothing and speaks in a rattled and raspy voice, “Who is she??”

Sonic’s brows knit at this, squeezing Shadow’s hand a bit tighter in his own to try and calm his nerves some. But Shadow doesn’t seem too reachable at the moment. He needs answers. Explanations. And he needs them now.

The woman seems to know immediately what he’s talking about, sighing before retracting her extended hand towards him and moving to her desk,

“She would be my daughter.”

She opens the top drawer of her desk to pull out an album, opening it up to pull out one photo from the front and another from the back.

“Her name is Marzia,” she explains softly, sliding the two photos across her desk for Shadow to see for himself. He steps over to investigate the two.. one being of Maria before she passed. Another of the strange girl from the library.. they’re nearly identical.

“It’s.. uncanny, yes?” Terra chuckles breathlessly, her smile bittersweet, “…I never knew my sister. She was gone before I was born,” she explains softly, her eyes lifting to look at Shadow who is now picking the photos up to look at the more closely. Compare the two.

“But I looked at her photos all the time growing up.. watched the old home videos. And as my darling daughter grew older, it was undeniable that she took after her deceased aunt..”

“How old is she?” Shadow asks quietly, eyes never leaving the photos.

“She’ll be twelve next year,” she answers quietly, “I had her late in life—“

“Where is her father??”

“There isn’t one,” and this gains Shadow’s attention, curious eyes looking up at her now, Sonic taking the chance to step closer and look at the photos for himself. It is uncanny..

“I had my eggs frozen when I was thirty..,” she explained, “As you can imagine, family was a difficult thing for me growing up. My parents thought having me would fill the void in their life that Maria had left.. sadly, they never were the same.. divorce was inevitable. I blamed myself for not being good enough. For not being more like my sister.. I idolized her for a long time.. and then I hated her.. now I simply miss her.. which is silly because I never met her,” she admits with a little knit in her brow, Shadow looking at her with a purposely neutral expression. Void of emotion..

“..I never married. I dove myself into my studies, my work. I didn’t have time for trivial things like relationships or love.., but as I got older, I thought that perhaps I’d regret this one day. Life has a way of making you question the present constantly and always look to the future by studying your past, you see. So I had my eggs frozen. It was the best decision I ever made, too. The father was simply an anonymous sperm donor that I selected based on his file, and the egg grew until the embryo was ready to be implanted in surrogate’s uterus— carrying her myself at my age was a risk I didn’t want to take.. nine months later, I had my baby girl. And it was like fate had mocked me with how much she resembled my sister. But never once did I not love that girl.. not for a moment.”

Shadow listens in silence, his eyes staring straight into Terra’s as if to tell if there’s any deception behind them. He sees none. Just a woman who has endured a lot in her lifetime.

“…Once I had her, family became far more important to me,” she explains with a sigh, “I reached out to family I hadn’t in years. My first cousins..”

This gains Sonic’s attention, eyes snapping up to her as he speaks without really meaning to, “Even—“

“Ivo, yes,” she admits with a roll of her eyes, “He was a Robotnik scorned by our grandfather’s sins, too. I thought perhaps he’d understand.. instead, it seems he’s followed in his footsteps.”

Sonic snorts, “That’s an understatement.”

“Indeed,” she shrugs, “It’s a shame. I think if he had been loved properly and seen how he could be happy with a family, things may have been different for him..”

It’s an odd thought. A world without Eggman.

Would Shadow even be here awake now without him?? Or would Knuckles and Tails be part of the Wachowski’s???

Sonic doesn’t know, but he doesn’t wanna think about it either.

So he doesn’t.

“What made you reach out to me??” Shadow asks the inevitable question now, “…Why now??..”

The woman takes a long breath, moving to pull out her office chair and take a seat at her desk with a heavy sigh. She gestures to the two seat in front of the desk for Sonic and Shadow to sit as well, Sonic being the first to do so and Shadow watching him before reluctantly doing the same.

They hold hands.

The woman looks at their joined hands and seems to take note of this but says nothing of it.

“..For a long time, GUN lied about what happened on the ARK,” she explains, her eyes staring blankly at the door now, “Maria was sick.. my parents had done all they could for her, but there was nothing that could be done here on earth.. Gerald Robotnik swore he could cure her if he could only take her to the ARK. My parents weren’t so easily persuaded, having little faith in Gerald’s research.. so he took her by force.”

Shadow takes note she calls him ‘Gerald’. Not Grandfather.

He also takes note that Maria was taken by force.. something he wasn’t aware of.

“GUN showed up at my parents’ doorstep. There was no arrest or guns drawn, but it was made very clear that this wasn’t optional. Maria was part of Gerald’s bargaining with GUN to work for them. So they took her. She was none-the-wiser, my parents not wanting her to be scared. They knew Gerald was insane, but he’d never hurt her. He loved her far too much. So they packed her things and told her they’d write her letters and send her care packages every month that GUN sent supplies to the station.. and she left with Gerald under the guise that this would cure her. That she’d come home..”

Terra takes another deep breath, blinking away some mist from her eyes as they fall on Shadow, “…We both know she never did..”

Shadow doesn’t say anything, brows furrowed a bit as he looks at her. Sonic squeezes his hand a bit tighter..

“…For many years, my family was told that it was Gerald’s experiment that had gone rogue. That Gerald had dealt with forces far beyond his control and paid the price.. we thought—,” her voice cracks, brows furrowed as she stares down at her desk with a mix of loss and anger. She blinks a few tears away, shame in her eyes as she looks at Shadow, “We thought you had killed her…”

Shadow’s brows knit a bit at that, his jaw tight and his fingers clutching around Sonic’s tight.

The very idea he’d ever bring harm to Maria in any way.. it made him sick.

It was moments like these that his faith in GUN dwindled. That it became hard to see the good in them. How they’ve grown, how they’ve changed for the better.. how Shadow is doing good with them now..

“..I was brought into this world believing that Project Shadow had taken my older sister from me,” she whispers quietly, leaning across her desk to pick up the picture of Maria and look at it, “…My hate for you ran deep.. the very thing that was meant to cure my sister… destroyed her..”

Shadow’s ears twitch back at that, Sonic’s brows furrowing at her poor choice of words..

He doesn’t like this.. doesn’t like how little Shadow’s feelings are being taken into consideration with all of this. He was invited here with no explanation. He was bombarded with a Maria look-a-like with no warning. And now he was being put through the emotional ringer and for what??

So the Robotniks could get some closure and feel better about themselves??? Shadow wasn’t their charity case. He wasn’t there to make them look good or feel redeemed in some way.

He went through more than any of them..

Sonic’s quills rise a bit in defense..

“But when the Project Shadow’s files were leaked to the public.. I discovered the truth,” she continues, looking to Shadow then, “…She was taken from both of us.”

Shadow doesn’t speak. Doesn’t feel he had the right to.. he had failed this family in so many ways.. sure, he hadn’t been the one to kill her. But he hadn’t cured her, either..

It was his creation that led to her demise..

“…So here I am, Shadow,” she uses his name, at least, “…trying. I’m trying to understand my sister,” a tear falls from her eyes now, her voice shaking and her hand holding Maria’s picture trembling. “I’m trying to understand why she loved you so much.. why she was willing to—“ her voice cracks, swallowing as she tries again, “to sacrifice her precious life for yours.. the life of a simply little hedgehog that talks.. what makes your life so much more important than hers.. that she’d give hers up instead of come back home to us all—“

“Okay, that’s enough,” Sonic rises from his chair, Shadow flinching at the movement. He was shaking. Quivering. He looks like he’s lived the horrors of the ARK all over again, like he’s reliving it all and left scared and paralyzed by what has happened. Sonic won’t stand for it.

He moves to stand between Shadow and Terra, his brows furrowed and jaw locked, “He’s not here to help you understand. He was here looking for family. If you’re too blind to see what makes Shadow so special— to see what made Maria so special??? That’s on you.”

“Sonic..,” Shadow’s voice comes quiet and weak behind him.

“You obviously know nothing about your sister if you don’t know that it wasn’t Shadow, it was just her being her. You don’t deserve answers if you can’t even see them when they’re right in front of you.”

“Sonic..”

“How dare you??? Invite him here for what— just to make you feel less like your grandfather??”

“Sonic!”

Sonic stops at that, turning to look at Shadow and see him looking up with a pleading expression.

Sonic’s quills lower a bit at this, his eyes softening slightly at the sight of his distressed boyfriend..

Then he looks back to Terra with a glare, her eyes locked wide on his as well.

“…We’re out of here.”

He grabs Shadow’s hand and drags him up out of his chair, pulling him to the door without giving him much of an option.

Shadow looks back at Terra as he’s pulled along, watching her wide and teary eyes as the door is opened. When he turns back around, he sees that little girl sitting there outside the door. She’s knocked back— having been listening with her ear pressed to the door.

Marzia.

Sonic doesn’t pay her much mind, stepping around her with Shadow’s hand still in his and a mumbled “Sorry, kid.”

Shadow’s eyes watch her as they step over her, her own eyes big and round and distressed by their exit.

“Wait!” she calls, trying to scramble to her feet now to catch up to the two, “Wait— Shadow!”

Sonic ignores this, tugging Shadow still. He won’t allow this. He won’t sit by while they all use Shadow like this and leave Shadow with nothing but an even more broken heart and heavier guilt. He won’t.

Shadow’s head turns to Sonic, pulling his hand from Sonic’s but Sonic snatches his wrist instead.

“Sonic, wait—“

“We’re leaving, Shadow.”

Shadow swallows hard, head turning back to the little girl as she manages to get to her feet and chase them a few steps— then she falls back to the ground with a little grunt, her breathing sounding wheezy and ragged..

Her hand reaches out to him weakly.

“Shadow..”

Shadow’s eyes widen at this, his mind flashing back to a similar image where Maria had been lying bloody on the ground reaching for him..

‘Sayonara, Shadow the Hedgehog..‘

His hand jerks from Sonic’s, Sonic spinning around but not able to stop him before he’s rushing down the hall back to the little girl.

Crouching down beside her in an instant, his hand moves to hold hers and help her sit up a bit, his other hand rubbing her back in slow circles as she looks up at him with teary, brown eyes.

“Breathe..,” he whispers quietly, brows knit up tight as he demonstrates by breathing in slowly through his nose and then out his mouth. Deep and deliberate.

She nods, sniffling a bit before she slowly takes a deep breath in and then blows it out as he demonstrates..

“Do you have an inhaler?” he asks, his voice so soft and gentle and nearly a wisp in the wind with how quiet it is.

She nods, still trying to match his breathing as she points a bit shaky towards the stairs, “I-in my room..”

Shadow’s eyes turn to Sonic then, looking at him in silent desperation.

And as much as Sonic hates the reason they’re here, this kid is innocent. And Shadow… Shadow needs this, right now. To help her..

So he doesn’t hesitate to dash up the stairs and find the girls room, searching and finding her inhaler in a matter of seconds before returning to the hall to hand it to Shadow who then hands it to her..

Sonic has never seen this side of Shadow.. the kind to mend.. heal..

She takes a couple of deep breaths of the inhaler, her breathing evening out now. Sonic’s eyes drift up to see Terra standing in the doorway with wide eyes, watching the entire thing. His brows furrow a bit at her, but then return to Shadow and the little girl..

Shadow’s eyes are on her. Only on her. Like she’s the only thing in the world at that moment..

Yeah..

They’re not going home, are they.

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flight-of-the-sacred-eagle · 3 months ago

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Spoilers for Sonadow generations (you can pry that name out of my hands)

You know, I don’t see enough people talking about the dialogue. Not the cutscene stuff, although that is also peak, I mean the easily skipable stuff. The stuff you need to go and talk to character for.

It reveals so, so much. The one I’ve seen people talk about is how Gerald seems to have realized that he is dead in the future, which he really hints at, but I also think some of the stuff the other characters say is really underrated.

Take Omega for example. He states that Shadow should be able to turn his arm into a gun, yes, but later, he states that he’s willing to help protect Gerald and Maria (by destroying everything that tries to harm them, of course). And the little voice line that accompanies it is “I am helping Shadow!” Which is just. Adorable?

And then he suggests that, after all of this, he and Shadow go and bomb Egg bases. Which is awesome and shows that he clearly understands that this is probably not something Shadow is enjoying.

Maria states “I love you” to Shadow, multiple times, alongside saying she has a little sister but that’s a whole can of worms. I think she’s the only character to have actually stated the words “I love you” in a serious way in the games. She may be the only one to say it period. And to Shadow nonetheless- the character who has how many writing restrictions around him?

Rouge talks about how Shadow is one of the few people she respects, let alone trusts, which is huge. She also states that she’ll be here for him when this is all said and done, again because she realizes that this is going to fuck Shadow up pretty badly.

And then there’s Big. Not only is he now the second living character we know of to have ever interacted with Gerald and Maria (since Frontiers confirmed that Eggman did not meet Maria and probably Gerald as well), but he’s just… so chill. SEGA please throw him in more games just to continue to be chill.

Anyways, this is your PSA to interact with the characters in the White Space. Their dialogue, while small, is really good.

#sonic generations #sxsg #sonic x shadow generations #sonadow generations #spoilers #shadow the hedgehog #big the cat #rouge the bat #e 123 omega #gerald robotnik #maria robotnik

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sharpedgedfool · 2 years ago

Note

Hello I was just wondering if we could get some more stuff and ideas about the sonadow future museum au (im just going to call it that cuz thats shorter)

heres a quick sketch cuz I really liked the designs👍

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YES YOU CAN AND IL OVE UR STYLE WITH IT???? I love how uncle-chuck-esc Sonic looks it's the exact vibe I wanted him to have 10/10

I'm in the process of writing this au as an actual story but I'm barely a chapter in yet, but I'll give some more snippets about Shadow and a page of sketches! (its a long read im so sorry but thank you for the ask!!)

Shadow goes by 'Oliver' as his fake name, he took it from a book he read once and liked the cover. They use He/They pronouns and identifies as something non-binary, he's not in a rush to label himself (they joke they've enough to label around the museum)

He lived as a vagabond until settling in Rainmeadow Town, and being taken in by the museum's solo-curator Beatrice, who's a field mouse with a physical disability and was unable to fully access the museum after she took it over from the previous owners.

Shadow adored museums as it was one of the only places he could visit freely so he has a soft spot, and Beatrice was so nice to him so he stayed to help restore it and got too attached he ended up settling down there. He was anxious at first, but its been five years and he's comfortable living there now

He lived with Beatrice for two years, before managing to earn enough from odd-jobs to buy out the small apartment above the local B&B

He has a stray cat he's taken in who wanders around town when he's at work. The cat is known to be vicious but is a sweetheart around Shadow, somewhat mimicking Shadows own demeaner

He dresses himself as unassuming as possible, and that sometimes makes himself a target for any outsiders of the village He gets tired out easily, due to them restricting their energy so much, but they can still fight viciously (almost feral after so many years outside of civilisation) for a short amount of time though would prefer to run. Shadow also needs rest throughout the day

Due to his tight inhibitor rings, Shadows red stripes and eyes have all dimed to a dull grey, his blood however remains a harsh green so he has to be diligent to ensure he doesn't injure himself in front of anyone. If he loosened his rings they would rapidly shift back to a red and he would regain energy to use his abilities, but he hides them and is extremely paranoid about his true identity

He likes to read and cook, and has a habit of reading while walking around even in the dark. He cooks meals for his cat and refuses to give them cat food from a can

He's a huge coffee fan, and loves brewing it himself with the manual machines at home (but also will still absolutely eat the beans straight if it's been a long day)

They haven't 'aged' but they've 'grown bigger' through mutation, their spines and fur are longer so they appear more mature even if internally he hasn't changed much.

He's always wanted a motorbike, but couldn't travel with one and can't afford the upkeep

Their glasses are generic reading glasses that he doesn't really need, but he finds it grounding to have them in his vision (he feels hidden behind them)

Rainmeadow is a known queer-safe town, despite it's remoteness, and the museum has a hall they regularly hold events in (Shadow is fond of the rollerskate hang-outs they schedule)

He has frequent panic attacks and extreme anxiety, they're selectively mute and uses sign (I use BSL when I'm drawing it out) and can't be around large groups of people for too long. He lets Beatrice work at the front of the museum and he lurks around in the back, people jokingly call him a 'shadow' often (and he's gotten used to the fear that shoots down his spine at the mention of his name)

No one knows of his origins, though Beatrice knows some of his vagabond experiences and topics that makes him uneasy

Shadow has met Rouge a handful of times. When he was saving money, he was contacted by her due to his experience in the museum. Due to his lack of background information, she assumed he had been involved in criminal activity and needed his knowledge on artefacts and assistance in restoring something. Shadow agreed reluctantly, but despite his uncertainty he enjoyed working on the things she brought and Rouge found his genuine interest in history and lack of concern for her intentions to be good company. Shadow became her main contact for these things (though she rarely needs his help) and the two are on good terms despite not being close

Rouge has worked with Team Sonic on occasion, and never worked with GUN. She's infamous but her identity is unknown to the public, except her name on her calling card. A few of Sonic's gang know what she looks like as eventually after knowing them for so long she doesn't wear the spy gear around them all the time, but felt strangely comfortable around Shadow rather quickly so he's seen her face

#I wrote so much nonsense im sorry this is a long read #it'll read better as an actual fanfic i swear i'll get round to it fdhgfd #shadow the hedgehog #museum au

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chaosandthe-deadblog · 1 year ago

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hi i’m that one person who was upset about a sonadow sex joke you made. let me preface by saying i’m not here to argue or scare you but to apologize.

you don’t have to respond to this at ALL i just saw your blog name and felt guilty for hurting you.

im sorry about upsetting you and reacting the way i did. i still think its eugh and everything. but i just get upset when people make jokes about that with characters previously stated to be minors because of personal trauma and people sexualizing me as a kid and just morals in general. of course i know that i can’t control how people enjoy their stuff, and i know it’s going to exist regardless. but i want to at least know if who im interacting with is someone i don’t want to talk to due to being a proshipper or whatever stuff like that.

i wasn’t trying to ‘cancel’ you or anything. i was upset and said something in the moment. i’m sorry. i should have just unfollowed and moved on. i should’ve saw the human i knew behind the screen but what i could only think of was a random person i didn’t know. i’m really sorry.

well, anon, i accept your apology. but also i dont. so let's take this one by one, okay?

first of all. you're still wrong, and i'm still angry.

it wasnt a "sex joke", i was commenting on a uquiz someone else made, because i found the sheer fact that sonadow of all ships was included in that quiz to be really funny. not to mention, the uquiz was based on statistics from ao3, and i guessed the correct answer by just knowing how shipping culture works. i thought this was funny. you know, people are allowed to find suggestive humor funny, even if you're uncomfortable with it, anon.

but i'll humor you. lets say i was doing the things i got accused of doing. big deal. i don't think you're wrong for being upset, much less for being uncomfortable, but one: could've settled this over dms, two: not everyone is you. not everyone is uncomfortable. not everyone cares so much. i didn't give that joke more than two seconds of thought, you clearly did, and i don't think you're wrong for that, i think it wasn't my problem.

secondly, and this will sound horrible, but (like i said) your discomfort isn't something i (the people running that oc poll, and my followers, by the way) needed to know about. i hear you, anon, and i'm sorry that all that happened to you. i understand the discomfort. but, like i said, we could've settled this in private, you could've at least told me which mutual you were, and no one else had to know.

third: i am not a proshipper, and i don't appreciate that you're still calling me gross, by the way. this isn't an apology if you're not accepting you were wrong. i'll humor you again and say that i was doing what you say i was doing: it is not that serious to me, and i don't like being called gross for something that is just plain, morally neutral weird (not good, not bad, neutral weird)

and fourth: thank you for at least recognizing what you should've done. however you didn't do that. from what i understand, based on what happened shortly after your anon, you went to the person running that sonic oc poll (which, whatever, i was losing anyway), and you lied about what i was doing to get me kicked out. good on you for realizing that was wrong. but you know, i'm still angry. im banned from many fandom events now because you couldn't just unfollow me. so i'm glad you realized it was wrong, i accept your apology, but i'm still very much angry with you.

i'm glad you're sorry, i'm glad you're recognizing i'm a human being (okay?) and i'm glad you at least tried to apologize. don't call me gross, apologize for real, and next time don't do this to someone through tumblr anon over whats essentially a common ocurrence on the sonic fandom, and every other fandom

(by the way, even if we weren't mutuals, you shouldnt do something like this to "a random person you don't know" either, but what do i know right? and "because of my trauma" isn't an excuse, because by that logic you also generated trauma in me, because now i'm fucking paranoid about everything i fucking post. i can thank you for that.)

have a nice day.

by the way

#asks #anon i beg you to leave me alone and get a better hobby

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biblicallyaccuratepigeons · 7 months ago

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Welcome, traveller

Seraph-Chim's the name; being only vaguely strange is my game.

At first, I didn't think there was really much else to know before looking through my blog. I'm generally an open book; I figured my posts and reblogs would speak for themselves about who I am.

However, after a few months of really being active on this site, it seems that I was wrong.

Here are the most crucial parts about myself:

Sexuality: it has come to my attention that I am a gray ace!

Gender identity: This is a complicated one. I've had a bit of a journey reaching this conclusion, which you can check out in my #about gender posts (as of now, there may be a couple missing! am currently in the painstakingly slow process of organizing this blog ;v;), but the long and short of it is that I'm simultaneously every gender and nothing at all. As such, anyone is free to use any gendered or non-gendered terms which feel the most accurate at the time (or are the funniest in context >:}). I do use it/its as well, often in the first person; regarding neos, my favorite ones are ci/cim/cir or ki/kem/ker, but again, just say whatever feels accurate.

Kintypes: I'm an angel and a stormkin! This is also complicated. Being an angel is easy to explain: humans, like angels, are spiritual creatures which take a variety of forms and have a variety of strengths, who may or may not choose to devote themselves to a higher being or goal. It's a little bit difficult for me to summarize for someone who doesn't already have some kind of framework for it, but basically you can think of my soul as being a different shape from other humans', which is why I describe myself as an angel. I've been an angel for my whole life. Being stormkin is a little different for me; it's less that I am a storm and more that storms and wind are my family. I was adopted, or perhaps adopted myself to them, a few years ago, but we've always been good friends.

Fandoms: This and that, but lately? Mostly Gravity Falls and Sonic. Most of the Sonic stuff you'll see here is Sonadow; I'm also a Billford shipper. This doesn't mean that I think Bill and Ford's relationship is or ever was healthy or ideal. It means that I recognize the spark, the passion, the compatibility, and I love seeing them interact in any context.

And now, the scary part.

I'm a Christian. I love being a Christian, more than I love any of the things I've mentioned about myself, because I love my god. I love Him more than anyone or anything else. He saved my life over and over despite who I was and am, because He's just that kinda guy and He's powerful enough to do it.

However, I know that saying all of that doesn't mean much in this world; certainly, on tumblr dot com, it's more likely to get me blocked or ignored than much else. I'm incredibly fortunate that my first mutual here, now a much beloved friend, was someone who understood me as myself without jumping to any conclusions because of my faith.

So here's a brief summary of where I stand, morally and philosophically, about all of the above statements.

Sexuality: Love is love, affection is affection, attraction is attraction. God gave us feelings in order to make sense of and make the most of this world He's made; all the good He's put into it, and all the bad that's come into it. Feelings are not only a proof of who we are, but also an instrument by which we thrive. Feelings are a morally good thing. I am of the belief that they don't have to define or control us. In much the same way we must train ourselves not to lose our tempers, the life I have chosen also begs me not to lose my head over any individual, regardless of sex. I can love whomever I choose, and I can spend my life with whomever I choose, but because of my faith I will not allow myself to have sex with anyone I'm not married to, and I will not allow myself to marry more than one person of the opposite sex from myself. As for my sex-repulsion, that is a byproduct of past trauma, which I will not go into detail about here. It's something I live with, and which causes me to hate myself, so of course it's not ideal; on the other hand, feelings are a handy tool, yes? I've chosen to hold onto it, and together, God and I are slowly molding it into something healthier and less self-destructive.

Gender identity: Really, I'm just me. God made me who I am, and if that means a soul that doesn't look like the body it's tied to, so what? He loves variety, sue Him. For the sake of the people around me, I've talked with Him at length, and we've come to a deal: I'll get gender-affirming surgery when I'm 50. Till then, I can express my gender in any way I please, so long as this precious vessel goes relatively undamaged as a result. If this is how I view myself, who am I to tell anyone else what their soul looks like? I do believe in practicing discernment, of course–someone who's grown up in a home heavily biased against a certain gender, for instance, is likely to lean away from expression of that gender for emotional survival, given the choice; and a repeated sex offender is, of course, going to tell any lie that may keep them out of trouble–but generally? Until you can prove yourself wrong, I'll take your words at face value. (In this vein, I do think that our society has lost hold of what being a Man or a Woman means, aside from the false dichotomy of gender itself. Perhaps all this genderfuckery is our way of searching for it? Certainly, I hope to someday understand it.)

Kintypes: Similar to gender, who cares if my soul doesn't look like other human souls? Being an angel in the way that I am isn't so uncommon amongst Christians as one might think, and being close with the wind and rain just means God has given me yet another way to listen to His voice and worship Him. Believing in God, and believing that He's good, of course I believe in an Enemy, a demonic source of evil; but unless a demon talks to me, what can I know of its nature? Being otherkin, alterhuman, non-human, or therian doesn't automatically point to demonization, in my opinion. I have seen a great number of angels who believe that this life is a punishment or proof of abandonment from God, and that is a lie, but the being is not necessarily. As for godkins, I have no reason not to believe you, either. My god already calls humans "little gods," and all spiritual creatures, god or not, are called "elohim." If you say your soul is more elohim-shaped in a godly way than mine or other humans, why should I not believe you? If you have old memories, or muted abilities and affinities, what difference does it make to me? We're cousins, you and I, in a way we can never be with other kintypes.

Fandoms: Fantasy, obviously, is a fiction. Humans share stories that mean something to us, it's what we were made to do, so there's nothing wrong with it.

Religion: I have placed my belief in one God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible; and in one Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, the only-begotten, born of the Father before all ages. Light from light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, one in essence with the Father; through Him all things were made. For us and for our salvation, He came down from heaven and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and became man. He was crucified by Pontius Pilate, and suffered and was buried. He rose on the third day according to the scriptures. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father, and He is coming again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and His kingdom will have no end. And I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Creator of Life, who proceeds from the Father. Together with the Father and the Son, He is worshipped and glorified; He spoke through the prophets. I believe in one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church. I have been baptized by the Holy Spirit for the remission of sin, and as a public sacrament for the denouncing of it. I wait here, eagerly and expectantly, for the resurrection of the dead among you and of those of my brethren who have passed on, and for the life of the world to come. This does not mean that I dismiss other gods nor the various magics as fairy tales; only that, by nature, I am opposed to those powers which would keep us all from the one God with enough love and power to anoint Himself with His own wrath in order to defeat the spiritual death into which we are born by inheritance, and someday soon, to kill death altogether.

If you've read this far, thank you for your time! Know that I love you, and that I'm able to because my god decided that we each were worth something more than mere dust.

🥔

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samshroomm · 1 year ago

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just thought abt it, i wonder if eclipse is gonna be the sonadow generations game. it would be So sick if he were, like think abt it. shadow is gonna have to relive his past, go thru his traumas, face his fears, black doom, all of the shit that has been thrown at him is back again. all stuff we have seen before. we already thought black doom was forever collecting dust on the shelf, but here he is back in a game. now imagine if eclipse gets featured in a game?? that would be so cool!! we could see more of him, put more of shadows lore on mainstream, not just locked away in comics

#sonic the hedgehog fandom #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sth #shadow the hedgehog #sonic x shadow generations #eclipse the darkling #black doom #sonic generations #sth fandom

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sonadowwiki · 4 months ago

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I’m sorry, but did anyone ever force you to even publish this "evidence" regarding Sonadow anyway, assuming without pay? I think the real "scummy" thing is for you lot, also voluntary content creators to complain about someone else who voluntarily prepared this 3 hour video and to raise this so called (unnecessary) "awareness" for apparent lazy people who can easily find the "real" sources themselves if something doesn't add up in that person’s video.

I can easily assume here that you must not have enough faith in your level of clout. Otherwise you yourselves wouldn't stoop to this "scummy" person's level by raising petty "awareness" about something you were never forced to do to begin with.

Ah, so you admit that she did take our information as her own since you're trying to blame the laziness of people for not looking up the source themselves instead of the creator not crediting us, right?

It is exactly because we (just the two of us) did it on our own time and with three years of effort that it's more scummy to take our work, put us down and then not credit us while trying to use it to make money and clout; to try to obtain clout through a majority of someone else's work.

Clout? It never was about that. If we wanted clout or money, we would have done something three years ago to now. We would have made social media accounts to gain popularity, but we didn't. We only have this blog because of complications on the wiki. Did we, like this person, make money off of videos or recording the information? No, because that's not the point. Clout and money aren't the point. But being a decent human and giving credit where it is due is something entirely different.

People do work, even if it's free. Even if we don't agree with everything Windii does, especially after ignoring us after being kind to her when asking for help, we will still credit her work. Why? Because that's the right thing to do. She did the work, she deserves the credit for it. That's called being fair.

I think you're mistaken about how many people work on the wiki and put their ideas on it. It is only ran by two people, not a group of volunteers or several people in general, and we do basically 99% of the things on there. Only 1% was information given to us by others that we implemented that we were given permission to include within the wiki, and even then, mostly it is just facts we have to research more into and not always theories.

Our theories with Tanabata and the Moon/World were something we found and thought of three years ago. People taking that as their own after all the harassment and bullying we went through for it is immoral and scummy, especially for reasons like wanting to claim the clout for it.

Anyone can simply look at each page's history to see that all the work is done by us two. All the game information, summaries for the games, Sonadow moments in the games, Sonic/Shadow merchandise, research for anything Sonadow in other medias (like X, Instagram, TikTok, Threads and Websites), animation info and photos/gifs, animation Sonadow moments, comic Sonadow moments, extra printed medias for Sonadow or information on Sonic/Shadow (like the Sonic Cookbook), analyzing the calendar stories, giving extra observations/theories/meanings (like the meaning of the hydrangeas or having a ring on the middle and ring finger) were all done through our efforts of three years of compilation. It wasn't a big group effort where people did several things or volunteers that came to edit things from time to time. It was mainly just us, two people.

Humans are very lazy, so lazy that if they don't see a source, they won't think about where it comes from generally. If someone showed an English translation from Windii without showing it's from her, would they look her up to find it? Most likely not. That's how lazy people can get. The same applies here. This is why crediting or citing is so important. It's basic 101 in school and the video creator is abusing others' laziness to obtain the clout from our research, theories and analyzations.

You're obviously gaslighting here and maybe even projecting because it would seem you're the one insecure about clout. You reacting this way even after the evidences showing the injustice also shows that something is wrong, just like how the comments we made were hidden instead of communicating with us. Why be so aggressive from the get go? Why do you care so much to be this rude and disrespectful? What makes you think to react this way instead of saying it respectfully or in a kinder manner?

What's the point in making those posts then? To correct injustice. What she has done is not right, especially after putting us down when taking our info. If you don't like someone and can't be fair towards them even so, then don't use their work. It's called being a decent human. I suggest you think about that instead of trying to push the blame on someone else to create a scapegoat in a situation where someone is obviously wrong in their actions.

#SWAnswers

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sparklingjay · 9 months ago

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So I've seen a lot of fans (especially sonadow fans) concerned about what Ian Flynn said in this recently bumblekast:

I got this video from here (maybe give them a like for providing the video if you have an account)

In this video, there is a question if the Shadow from the current Tailstube is still the current direction for Shadow or if it's just exaggerated to be funny. Ian answered this question with a: "That is very much his current direction. That is after lots of notes and revisions."

But I would like to remind people that this has been Shadows direction for more than the past decade. His competitiveness, arrogance, aggression, and lone wolf personality have been exaggerated for a long while now, which doesn't have to mean that he will be written badly.

Forces Shadow was written under those same restrictions. And he was pretty decent.

IDW had its bad moments, but it wasn't all bad, and it gave us some of our favorite sonadow moments.

These moments were all written under the same current direction for Shadow.

And most importantly:

Prime Shadow had those same restrictions or "mandates", and he was the best written Shadow in years. Even better than most of the 2000s games writing.

In a serious setting like Sonic x Shadow is probably going to be, Shadow won't act like Takeover Shadow or Tailstube Shadow (and they aren't even all that bad tbh, it's just simpler funnier writing, they all act a little dumber than they usually are to make it more entertaining).

For now, let's not assume the worst just because the direction hasn't changed. We all want to see those "mandates" gone so Shadow can have his complexity back, but it doesn't mean it's all bad.

He can still be a good character, and his dynamic with Sonic (and other characters) can still be good, and I'm sure we will still be getting some good Sonadow content.

In conclusion:

Shadow won't act exactly like tmosth Shadow, archie Shadow (which are actually not very in character with early 2000s Shadow anyways) Sonic 06 or Sa2 Shadow in the near future. But he (probably) won't act like vegeta edgelord Shadow either. Those were only his worst moments.

I'm still excited for Sonic x Shadow Generations because there isn't a good reason why I shouldn't be!

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic #shadow the hedgehog #sth #sonic x shadow generations #idw sonic #sonic prime #sonadow

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beevean · 2 years ago

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Can I just say that I h a t e the Whispangle teasing from the latest issue, because of how it's making all the fans act? It's the perfect combination: 100% non-canon because SEGA does not WANT or allow any romance, but the hints and teases are about as subtle as a sleighthammer to the knees, and thus now the fans are all claiming that "OMG IT'S SO CANON EVERY OTHER SHIP WITH THEM IS NOW INVALID AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU'RE A HOMOPHOBE UWU GO FUCK YOURSELF". The fact that also Silver and Blaze are literally seen holding hands in the exact same issue conveniently gets ignored, despite the fact that apparently is the standard we're needing to meet here for a ship to be """""canon""""". Must be the fact they're in front of a few trees, not a unsubtly-coloured pride flag background.

I'm salty about the general fandom mindset, sorry. Was the exact same when Sonadow promptly got declared """""canon""""" when Shadow carried Sonic bridal style one time, except the fact Sonic has done the same with Amy tons of times too. I can't help but feel like fans of 'straight' ships are a LOT less insufferable about it than those of 'gay' ships, but that might just be a generalisation because this is Tumblr.

100% agree with you there, anon.

Like. Really, guys? The pride flag? Just in case we didn't get the hint enough? Funnily enough, you can even see it the other way around: Laviarray said, in his latest video, that if you removed the colors from the panel it would lose all meaning, because it's just holding hands, and it doesn't convey romantic chemistry (not helped by Whisper's expression: couldn't she look at Tangle, to signify that she matters to her?).

As I said, Whispangle lost all sympathy for me after their little drama. The two did not interact after their own miniseries, which apparently takes place between #16 and #17; then they meet again and Tangle decides to propose the Diamond Cutters' name as their own team name when it wasn't her place at all (and putting Whisper in an uncomfortable position in front of people who aren't aware of her trauma); then the incident is resolved with Tangle being like "i'm sowwy i didn't mean to i just thought your dead friends were so cool 🥺" and Whisper writing a whole ass multiple-tweet apology that amounts to "I sincerely apologize for my PTSD, I recognize that it's very inconvenient for you, from now on I will try to be a better person, therefore I will allow you to get what you want and use the name of my dead friends for your personal comfort"?

I. Don't see what y'all are seeing. Do we have to play that old game of "imagine if Tangle was a boy and this was a boring straight ship"?

To be fair, at least Whisper and Tangle holding hands isn't quite as irritating as the Sonadow bride carrying, or even worse Sonic giving bedroom eyes to Shadow in #6: Sonic and Shadow are such disgusting pricks to each other than the people who seriously see chemistry between them basically out themselves as people who did not read IDW, and are just going with out of context panels.

Not even going to talk about that little discourse of "if you ship Tangle and Whisper with men you're lesbophobic". That's stupid. It's so stupid that I feel stupid even explaining why it's stupid. Then again, it's Twitter, so what do I expect.

As for your last point, it does feel that way. I think it's because gay ships are immensely more popular on Tumblr/Twitter in general so it attracts more assholes, and because gay ships aren't allowed to simply exist, but are touted as Representation and thus Extremely Important Activism To Take Super Seriously. Which, guys, chill. It's just two anthros looking at each other. Have fun and stop pretending you're doing something important: shipping is just a game.

#fans don't look #if i wanted to swing a bat at the hornet's nest i could compare whispangle to bumblebee form rwby #but eh can't be bothered

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an-abandoned-sad-weirdo · 2 years ago

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❗Empty and/or disturbing blogs will be blocked❗

(I think you know what I mean by "disturbing")

Hi everyone, I'm Cress Lee | 18 | she/her.

I love Greek Mythology, working with acrylic, reading, writing, organizing my bookshelves, cryptology, story telling, baking, Taylor Swift's music, Katty Perry's music, etc.

I enjoy the shows: STH, TOH, GF, The Big Bang Theory (it's a treasure, I love it), The Ghost & Molly Mcgee, etc.

My top favorite movies; " Cruella ", " Spirited ", " The Nutcracker & The Four Realms ", " The Greatest Showman ", and literally any Spiderman movie ever (except for " Venom ", the poster was scary enough, I didn’t need *cough*want*cough* to watch it *acts tough, but can't handle horror movies*).

I do not like: The Knuckles Series (It's... distasteful, to say the least), Radiosilence (It's the worst, I hate it with all my heart and soul. Nobody deserves radiosilence, it's torture), fanfictions that include incest (like people shipping Shadow with Maria and/or Sonic with Tails), little kids (I hate little kids, as well as kids who aren't little, they're just so annoying, I can’t stand it. I am so not parent material), the taste of caramel, lip-sticks (how do you people eat and drink with it on???), sunlight (and no, I'm not a vampire, I just don't like it, vitamin D is literally the only thing keeping me from an A+ blood test), and tumblr bots (they're the embodiment of evil) etc.

I'm not exactly new in tumblr but this account is about two years old.

I love STH in any and every way but my favorite is, and will always be, Sonadow.

Which is what this tumblr blog's mostly about.

I also have an Ao3 account with the same name.

Most of my works are about " Sonic the Hedgehog All Media Types ".

Short, but as frequent as possible chapters are my motto.

Seriously, I'm terrible at writing long chapters.

Anyway, here's a complete list of my works on Ao3;

✅: Complete,

☑️: Almost complete (less than 3 chapters left),

▶️:On going,

⏯️:On going with extremely slow updates,

⏸️:On hiatus,

❌:Extremely rare updates

🟧: Mature, 🟨:Teen, 🟩:General Audiences

My very first series called: " What It Means To Be A Family "

It had two complete parts so far, but then I decided to re-write the series, all over again, FOR THE THIRD TIME!!!

So here we are;

Part 1:(✅🟨) Becoming A Family Isn't Easy - Act 1 (Original Version) (Word count: Between 15K-20K)

Part 2:(✅🟨) Becoming A Family Isn't Easy - Act 2 (Original Version) (Word count: Between 15K-20K)

Part 3:(❌🟨) Becoming A Family Isn't Easy - Act 1 (Re-written)

Please read the notes. PLEASE.

And another one, called: " You Matter "

Part 1:(✅🟨) Sonic's Purgatory (Word count: Between 5K-10K)

Part 2:(✅🟧) It All Began On A Field Of Violets (Word count: Between 10K-15K)

Part 3:(⏯️🟨) Rotten Lemons (10/?)

Part 4: ( In Process )

Part 5: ( In Process )

And other than that, I have a tiny fanfiction (Sonic Prime) named " I'll Listen " (✅🟨). It's a sickfic. (Word count: Between 2K-5K)

And also " Calming Down A Hurt Soul " (✅🟧) too. (Video Games & IDW Comics) It's basicly a Sonadow Hurt/Comfort fic that has recently taken a dark turn. (Word count: Above 20K)

And an even tinier vent fic called, "On The Verge" (✅🟨). (Word count: Between 2K-5K)

And, "Dark & Alone (but not for long)" (▶️🟧), a fic on Sonic Forces. My take on what happened during those six months.

And my latest vent fic, "The Emotional Beast" (✅🟨) on Sonic as a werehog. (Word count: Less than 2K)

And, "(Not)Unexpected of You" (⏯️🟨), It's gonna be a wild ride, so take cover guys!

I'd be delighted if you took a peek.

Well, that's all for now.

Thanks.

🥰🥰🥰

#Sonadow Rocks #sth #sth fanfic #Sth fanfictions #sonic the hedgehog #sonadow #ao3

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mixithon · 11 months ago

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i’m bored so uhh heres my insight on shit cause i like talking, as well as some opinions on your opinions because i’m EVIL

- I feel like theres not really a great understanding on “Sonic character design,” even from Sonic Team themselves. Sonic character design isn’t just using Sonic’s body as a template- we wouldnt have Big or Vector if that were the case- instead they’re built very differently with a unifying style that ties them together. What SEGA is doing now is like if Goofy had the same body type as Mickey. Sure, it’ll be designed around it, but you use a lot of visual clarity as well as recognizability.

- True and Real

-I don’t know much about Sally, but i defo feel like Amy’s hate was unjustified. She’s so damn boring now let a girl be exaggerated and silly :(

Lanolin, though? I feel like she fell victim to IDW’s fuck-ass awful pacing. With her commanding and overwriting Silver’s words and beliefs, we end up on Silver’s side because we barely KNOW Lanolin, AND Mimic’s.. mimicking got revealed early. So not only do we know Silver is RIGHT, but we are placed RIGHT AGAINST Lanolin (who, again, got introduced as an actual character like, what, 6 issues ago?) who is doing what she thinks is right. (I used to hate Lanolin so uh.. yea)

- True and real, same people who don’t like when Tails falters in confidence i feel (pointing to Forces, where i feel like Tails just sitting there like a bitch while Sonic “dies” right in front of him mighta made him lose confidence- but this goes unexplored so Thats Just Headcanon! as well as the IDW scene, where he was powerless and it was all up to Sonic.)

-Don’t know enough about Fang to say shit

-dont care much for Shard but isn’t Eggman using Metal Sonic Kai, the model seen in Chaotix- that was using the main and sub CPUs from the CD Metal? Can’t like a Shard-like Metal Sonic rise up from CD Metal or is the contradictory Sonic 4 still canon

-Why can’t Classic Sonic just be like a skin for Sonic, again? I don’t like the weird “This is younger Sonic” and “This is older Sonic” stuff let me just play as Classic

-I think a low-stakes comedic Sonic story is a refresher i just wish it wasn’t done with Roger and weird Sonic writing. That combo personally just doesn’t work.

- I don’t care much for Sonadow being canon or noncanon i just like Sonic and Shadows dynamic in general

-I think they should, because honestly its an artstyle difference for characters like Sonic, Tails and Knuckles. It would be fun!! Let there be some fun, yknow?

-TRUE but its also funny seeing them scramble for reasons why these classic characters are gone like bro you’re telling me that “always on the move for thrills” Sonic the Hedgehog hasn’t run into Mighty and Ray again or is the explanation that they’re dead in a cave somewhere

-I don’t care for the Babylon Rogues being integrated into the Battle Kukku Empire, i just wish that it wasn’t the Battle Kukku Empire being integrated into the Babylon Rogues, if you get what i mean. Cocoa Island is already pretty tied to South Island, with how Battle Lord Kukku and Eggman’s search for the Chaos Emeralds on the respective islands leads to destruction, and with how both games share the exact same Chaos Emerald colors from what i can recall- not to mention if you consider South Island’s floating shenanigans canon, then Tails ressurected South Island from out of the sea- paralleling how the Master Emerald on Angel island created Newtrogic Island!!! I personally would prefer if they tied the Battle Kukku Empire to South Island, yknow?

-I haven’t played much but i got a dancing chao and i can’t get rid of it HOW DO I GET RID OF IT ITS EVIL

-True but SATAM gets soloed by AOSTH (/hj, i prefer AOSTH but don’t have much against SATAM’s cast. I just wish it was more in line with the games)

-I think Sonic is SOMEWHAT exempt from this but hear me out hear me out- considering his dynamic with Eggman, he is the maturity to Eggman’s immaturity. Eggman is this rotten, spoiled-brat like villain who is book smart and Sonic is this kind, selfless character who is street smart. But with Eggman sometimes having his mature moments, Sonic can have some immature ones as a treat. Oftentimes with character analysis they skim out on character dynamics and what you can learn about the characters from them and that STINKS

-Haven’t spent much time with Silver to really get into it, but i think he can cool it a bit with the pep in exchange for some seriousness. I thhhiink i like him when he has this curious wonder about the past that leaves him speechless at times, but again, not much time with Silver.

-I think in general i don’t care about ships being canon except for the straight Sonic ships for some reason??? Like i am against those hard either Sonic’s hard aroace or he’s a twinge gay

-TRUE

-barely spent time with shuffle so i can’t say shit

-TRUE!! CHARACTER VARIATION IS AWESOME!!

-Okay but what if they provided the wackiest explanations to explain why Tails Doll is gone like “Oh, Tails Doll! i tried to use him for parts but he started floating toward the clouds, and then YOU hit him with the Tornado!”

-I don’t care that much, i just need to know if the caterkiller line prefers soup or bread

-I feel like Hyper Sonic being Super Sonic 3 is kinda weird if it JUST functions as a stronger Super Sonic. also power creep i GUUUESSS but who tf gives a damn Sonic can win against a wrecking ball and then die to a sandwich for all i care

-I’m in the process of reading STC but i haven’t seen enough of Amy yet- I’ve just gotten past Knuckles throwing out the Marxio Brothers off Angel Island, so no comment. I’m really enjoying it, though!! Love how Sonic’s absolutely a bitch here

-TRUE and also the South / Cocoa Island stuff i mentioned before.. + “but tails got bullied on Westside Island why is he on Cocoa Island” HOME AWAY FROM HOME BITCH!! would also make sense on why he doesn’t have his TA stuff and had to build a new Sea Tail model (seen in Triple Trouble, a detail that TT 16 Bit lost) - Cocoa Island is canonically small as shit and isn’t on any map so he probably deadass lost it

-yeah okay but how else will annoying person make the same joke about TA?? Tails is a MURDERER, amirite?? LAUGH!! + i feel like aspects they can go into (the lack of wings on a certain bird..) they wont because it’ll take too much- like implying Jet has wings under those gloves and having to design wings for him or whatever, or the Battle Kukku Empire being a seperate entity from Eggman- or the EMPIRE PART of the NAME!!

-can’t i see both :(

-“Metal Knuckles, oh, he went and flew into the ocean! Haven’t seen him since!”

-Preboot Archie designs is i think a large example of misunderstanding Sonic character design. also yeah Antoine’s palette stinks very bad

Sonic opinions that may or may not be controversial

Sonic character design is at its worst when they try to make it as "Sonic-like" as possible, and at its best when it's at its most unconventional (i.e. Fang the Sniper, the Witchcarters, the Kukku Empire, the humans in Sonic Unleashed and Chronicles, SatAM and AOSTH characters, etc)

Infinite's maskless design is lame

Sally Acorn, Amy Rose, Princess Elise and Lanolin aren't the worst characters, you just want to hate female characters. There are way worse written characters and you choose those three to bash on

That said, Chris Thorndyke and Charmy Bee aren't annoying, you just hate children. Chris' unwilling to let Sonic go in the finale of Sonic X's season two wasn't a dick move, that's his character arc. And of course Charmy being loud, annoying and basically dooming the resistance by turning himself into a zombot to try and save someone makes sense. He's a god damn six year old

Ian Flynn trying to "simplify" Fang the Sniper takes away all that made him interesting, his weirdness and confusing design (he literally took away Fang's hybrid side and him being originated from the Special Zone. Blaze exists, why can't Fang be from another dimension too?)

Gemerl not having Emerl's personality isn't neither a betrayal nor a bad take on his character. In fact, it makes his contrast with Emerl and comparison to Omega and Metal Sonic better. Shard is not coming back guys. Cope

Sonic Forces should've been less focused on Classic Sonic and more on the Rookie. In fact, Shadow should've replaced Classic Sonic in the storyline

Sonic Colors is worse than Sonic 06 in terms of storyline and the DS version should've been the real deal

As fun and awesome and amazing as Sonadow is (totally not speaking from bias), making it non-canon is the best for everyone

Characters like Shadow and Omega shouldn't have a classic form, but it would be interesting to see other modern characters in classic form

Classic characters shouldn't be confined to the "classic universe". Archie's best parts were when classic and modern characters interacted (Mighty and the Werehog, Shadow and the Hooligans, Jet and Speedy)

The idea of the Babylon Rogues being associated to the Kukku Empire in the past IS an interesting concept. What isn't is the Kukku Empire being associated with the Babylon Garden. They should be their own villains

As goofy as Sonic Chronicles was, it wasn't a bad game at all

Western and eastern Sonic media should be treated with the same respect

Sonic characters acting immature shouldn't be a big deal. They are kids, no matter how many times you point out how they removed the ages at the Sonic Channel site. Amy Rose herself was at her best when she was an immature hotheaded girl

As much as I wish Silver was more serious at IDW, him acting excited and happy isn't bad either. He's healing from multiple broken futures

Silver and Blaze are better staying out as platonic. If Sonic and Shadow's tanabata references can be seen as platonic, then those two can two. That said, their relationship should still be seen as meaningful to both of them (perhaps more to Silver than to Blaze). Male and female friendships exist without it being instantly romantic

MORE. UNSEEN. CHARACTER. INTERACTIONS. PLEASE

Sonic Shuffle shouldn't be shafted just because of the weird gameplay and human-like characters. The Maginaryworld characters should make a comeback (ESPECIALLY with to the implications of the angel statue in Sonic CD's Wacky Workbench)

We need more truly irredeemable female villains (Surge doesn't count, I'm talking about characters like Witchcart, Lien-Da, Thunderbolt)

For the love of God, Sega. Bring Classic characters back

If you can give personality to Metal Sonic and Mecha Sonic II, you can give to the other robots (and no, making Tails Doll an eldritch horror doesn't count)

Hyper Sonic should come back. Maybe even make it the "third stage" to the Super Sonic and Super Sonic 2 duo

As good and amazing as Amy's everything was in Sonic the Comic, that shouldn't be the blueprint of her canon character. At max bring back her crossbow (and her girlfriend)

Tails Adventure is better taking place before Sonic and Tails meeting. If he was confident enough to follow Sonic and help him defeat Eggman's ass he should be confident enough to abolish the monarchy (last part is /hj lmao)

Tails Adventure mentioned, the Kukku Empire should make a comeback too. If Shadow can come back the Kukkus can. They weren't cntrl+alt+del from existence like Mephiles was y'know

We don't want to see the classic universe. We want to see classic CHARACTERS

Sega. Hey Sega. Sega. Are you hearing me. Sega. Bring classic characters back Sega. Sega-

Post-genesis wave Archie character designs sucks ass. The color palettes make it worst (Antoine I'm looking directly at you)

#sth #sonic :]#tails adventure #tails adventures !! :]#i like tying south island to cocoa island so much its a part of my au yaya #TAILS MURDER!! GIGGLE!!! GIGGLE I TELL YOU #i like TA by the way if you cant tell

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nejishadow · 4 years ago

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Neji’s Pinned Post - What Is Up My Dudes

Greetings! I’m Neji / NejiShadow!

[ 25 - They / Them - Agender / Asexual ]

I’m best friends with @shadowfreak98, so you know why I mention her in my descriptions and tags so often, and also why we commonly match.

I do commissions, but they’re closed until further notice - I don’t have any place to drawn and my tablet is all wonky right now. I don’t do requests unless I put out a post for it, and art trades are for muts / people I interact with often only.

[ I CAN still do my Sketch Commissions, which can see on our Ko-Fi ]

Can contact me on any social media if interested!

[ If you wanna check out my stuff elsewhere, all my things are on the Carrd ]

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AU tags:

# Shadow Weapon Ken

# Persona Fursona

# Sonic Future AU (by @shadowfreak98)

Writing tags:

# Fanfiction (for finished fics)

# drabble (for collections of ideas and rambles)

Meme Tags:

# Persona Memes

# Persona 3 Memes

# Persona 4 Memes

# Persona 5 Memes

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My Persona meme edits are generally free to share and use, just please dont claim you made them, and if they inspire you to do anything please tag or show me - I need to see or I'll die unfulfilled in this life [and I'll def share / like / reblog / something]

This doesn’t apply to my drawovers / art memes!! Those take way more time and effort, don’t share those unless the description explicitly states you can, and please credit me.

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- I’m an anti, so pr*ship and their supporters get out.

- I do not answer DMs that only say “hello / hi / what’s up” or any other variation. I don’t like talking to strangers, period, honestly.

Fun facts and other things below the cut so this post doesn’t just... go on forever

If you ever wanna ask me questions in my askbox, feel free! I don’t mind being asked fun stuff. I turned off anon mode after getting asked questions that are clearly answered by the part of the post you’ve read by now.

My queue is usually set to post thrice a day. The pattern being two reblogs, than a new post. Occasionally there will be a day nothing new is posted to give the last new post breathing room, or to give me more time to make more art.

Currently it is set to post five times a day until I can get a desk so I can draw again!

Every once in awhile reblog extra stuff in the moment, but mostly save stuff for my queue so I’m not running out of art to post too quick.

My queue easily has 400+ things at any given time, so there may be multiple month gaps between me liking your posts, and them getting a reblog, in case you wonder why you’re suddenly getting a buncha reblogs from me This also means if you have some variant of “don’t like this without reblogging” on your posts, I just won’t interact with you to avoid getting blocked

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Currently trying to focus on (read: failing to focus on):

- Writing more fic for the Shadow Weapon Ken AU, because I keep getting distracted - Shopping for furniture. Spending money?? Gross

My general favorites:

Color: yellow-orange (leaning towards orange usually) and royal blue

Food: Sharp cheddar cheese

Song: Live and Learn by Crush 40

Music Artists: Owl City, Daft Punk, Crush 40, nostraightanswer

Fic Tags: Wholesome. Happy Ending. Fluff / tooth rotting fluff. Café AU.

Story Genres: Fantasy / sci-fi. Stuff from those genres but modern AUs

Game Genres: Platformer. Action / adventure. RPG. Most things heavily story driven. Any fusion of those genres.

Game: Sonic Adventure 2 Battle

Comfort Characters you’ll see me cry over:

Tails the Fox

Pidge Gunderson

Turing (2064 ROM)

Vocaloid Oliver

Ken Amada

Yuuki Mishima (more a blorbo but he deserves to be here)

Favorite Ships you’ll see me reblog more of:

Sonadow, Sonally and Sonaze [STH]

Akishinji, Shuryu, Shuyuu, Souyo [PERSONA]

Zerox/Xero [MMX]

Pearlina [SPLATOON]

Strowill [MRF]

My “active” fandoms (meaning I interact with posts more often from them) are:

Sonic the Hedgehog

Persona

Splatoon

Ace Attorney

Metaphor RF

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OCs are tagged under their name. So if curious about them, simply click the name hashtag and it’ll bring up all their posts. Only ones that might be confusing are:

Neji is my persona (Tagged simply “Neji”, “NejiShadow” is used for update textposts)

Salem (Tagged “Salem”) is my fursona.

My sonicsona / sonic mascot is tagged “Salem (Sonic)”

Lance -- in order to differentiate him from VLD Lance -- is tagged “Lance (OC)”

#textpost #nejishadow

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rachello344 · 6 years ago

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I’m going to tell you all a story. I don’t really know who all will see this, but I think it’s important for me to make my position and my history clear, so I’m going to write it out anyway. This will probably have some level of TMI, so your mileage may vary, but I don’t want to censor myself for this. Includes frank discussions of sexuality, sex ed, etc. so it’s relatively NSFW. Nothing especially graphic, but again, ymmv

This is... much longer than I meant it to be, so tl;dr: Fiction is meant to be a place to explore. Being afraid of sexuality or intimidated by it is normal, but trying to control the people around you because of that is not. The only person whose sexuality is your business is your own, and potentially your partner(s)’. Policing the sexuality of other people will not give you anything more than the illusion of control. Illusions, however nice, don’t generally last long. Be kind to others, and be kind to yourself.

I started reading fanfiction when I was 12 or 13, which I think is about the average. Everyone around me was starting to talk about dating and the like, and I wanted to figure out what they were talking about without asking anyone I knew. As an avid reader, the only way I knew how to get contextualized information was through stories. So I did what I think a lot of kids online inevitably do: I looked up stories about sex and romance. The site I was using at the time was DeviantART.

Any of you who have used the site are probably recoiling right now, as you should be. I have seen so many terrible things written in fiction from such a young age that a lot of the stuff people complain about here seem legitimately tame. But that’s not the point. The point is, I was a curious kid looking for answers, and I turned to stories to find them.

I started with original fiction. Imagine that. A 13 year old girl online reading effectively hentai-style fiction about OCs she had no connection with. I learned about my body through badly written dA hentai fic. I figured out things that felt good. I experimented quietly when my family left for my brother’s baseball games. And then, at some point, I found my first fanfiction.

I’d technically written fanfiction of Sonic characters when I was 8 or 9, but they were all just fairy tales with Sonic and Amy as the leads. I didn’t start with Sonic fanfiction, though. No, the first fanfiction I remember reading was Naruto. It was a badwrong Uchiha-cest fic. I was probably 13 at this point. I’d never watched Naruto, but I absolutely knew that those characters were related. Morbidly curious, reluctantly fascinated, I read the fic.

It was short, but it was definitely hot, to my 13 year old standards. I mean, most things were. I was 13. I didn’t exactly have standards. And then I realized: If this exists, shouldn’t there be stories with characters I actually know? Granted, I still read SasuNaruSasu fic because it was SO easy to find--I preferred Naruto topping at the time, but now I’d go back and forth, I think, I just hated the characterization of bottom!Naruto--but I also discovered slash for things I actually knew. Sonadow was a revelation.

It does not escape me that I got my start in fanfiction reading incest and furry porn, btw. I mentioned earlier that I was curious, and that was my driving force. I wanted to see where the limits were. I would read anything. And then once I figured out the tags, I could look for the things I liked and avoid the things I didn’t. I didn’t much care for a lot of things where romance was concerned, but for a PWP those limits evaporated like rain in the desert. And through this process, I developed standards. Things I will read, things I won’t, writing styles I prefer, things that I won’t read no matter how well written, writing unskilled enough that I wouldn’t touch it regardless of the kink depicted. And on and on and on.

I feel like it bears mentioning that the demographic of my junior high and high school was predominantly Mormon and Fundamentalist. Not all, but a significant number. We were mostly white, mostly well-off. I was in as much of a bubble as I could be. But that meant that until my friends started coming out in high school, I didn’t know any queer people IRL. I had one friend, Avery, who told me she was Bi in eighth grade, but until about tenth grade, she was the only one who’d told me.

Our sex ed was abstinence only. Heteronormative and absolutely the kind of thing that we all speak out against. There were no websites that I could find with reliable info. I was using google image searches to figure out what genitalia looked like, and I wish I were kidding. All I’d ever seen was stuff with diseases and sores. I was told that a girl who has a lot of sex is like an old pair of gym shoes. I was told that boys will be boys. I was not told that boys could love boys or girls could love girls. I was told “Just say no,” instead of any kind of way to tell when it was safe for me to say Yes.

Luckily I wasn’t interested in sex for me, personally. I was interested in it intellectually. I wanted to know how it worked, why people chose to do it, what it might feel like, what kinds of sex you could have. I was arming myself with knowledge in case I ever needed it.

When I was 15, I stumbled on a kinkster’s blog. She was a writer, and she specialized in BDSM practices and culture, specifically in explaining it to the uninitiated. I was too young to be there, but the information I got was invaluable. Again, scarleteen might have existed? But I’d certainly never found it. This was the first time I saw someone talking about consent, about condoms and dental dams, about safe words.

It was life changing. I read her blog avidly. I spent about three weeks there, researching BDSM. When I found something that seemed interesting, I’d return to deviantART to see if I could find it in story form. I’d google terms I wasn’t familiar with or cross check online. I googled so many things that it’s lucky that my parents let me have my own computer (an old desktop from my dad’s boss). It’s even luckier that my parents generally let me have free reign.

When I was 17, I found the word Asexual. It was the best word I’d seen for how I was feeling. Sex positive asexual. “It would be fine if it happened, but chastity isn’t exactly a punishment.” I could make do on my own without much trouble, and I didn’t really like any boys. Not like that. (Whether or not I ever liked girls, I’m still trying to puzzle out.)

What I’m trying to say is that my best online experiences were via kinksters. Fic at the time did NOT go into safer sex details. They were either implied, glossed over, or outright ignored. Fantasy doesn’t need to jive with reality, so it’s hardly wrong of them to ignore it. But that information was truly incredible to me.

And I know I’m an odd case. Someone who’d never felt sexual attraction to her knowledge researching every kind of sex under the sun sounds strange, I know. But I’ve always been a researcher. When I come across something I don’t understand, I look it up.

I guess, the point I was trying to make is that... for me, without all the “bad” erotica and porn, without kinksters, without slash ships, I never would have figured things out for myself. I had no sexual education to speak of, no context for anything I did no, no one to talk to, and I definitely didn’t have any queer role models or examples in media or in my real life. The first time I met a lesbian was when I was 13; she was my gym teacher. And she was the absolute first queer person I ever knew about. And until college, I’d never met another queer adult that I knew of. Never.

We had a gay straight alliance in high school, but I didn’t want to get involved. The cultural climate wasn’t outright homophobic, but I’d learned to keep my head down for being “too much” a feminist. Like hell was I going to put a target on my back. I doubt I would have been bullied--no one had come after me yet--but I didn’t really want to tempt fate either. I stood up for the people around me, and I called it good.

When I hear people say “Kink is unhealthy and glorifies abuse” I think back on my sex ed, on learning that women who sleep around are dirty. I think about the first time I ever even heard about consent being on a blog about a woman who loved BDSM. When I hear people say “X fic trope condones Y behavior” I think back on the absolute sewage that I was reading as a young teen. It’s safe to say that I’ve read just about every kink there is. I read vore on accident by the time I was 15. And I didn’t even remember it until I had a visceral flashback to it about a year ago when the jokes first started getting popular. And despite all of the abuse and rape and badwrong incestuous fic that I’ve read, never once have I knowingly harmed another person. And that makes the arguments feel a little odd. Like “violent video games make teens more violent,” the argument that violent erotica and porn makes teens more violent is absurd.

So, for those of you still reading, if you promote anti-shipping or kink critical anything, I think you should look at it a little more closely. Do some more reading on the other side, within your limits. Do your own research and figure out where you stand. I know that sex can be intimidating and scary, especially when you’re young, but something can be scary without being harmful. Only you know your limits, but there are plenty of places to do research that have reliable information. I’d be happy to help you find them. For general sex ed, scarleteen is definitely my go-to.

Policing other people’s sexualities is not the way to make things feel safe again. I know it seems like a suitable answer, and it makes you feel like you have power and safety, but think about how you feel when people tell you what you are and aren’t allowed to like or do or feel. Think about how you feel when people accuse you of all kinds of things simply because your views are different. That’s what anti-culture is doing. And just because you don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean you have the right to tell them how to feel or how to think. Because that opens the door to them returning the favor.

“But incest--” “But CGL--” “But--” No. It doesn’t matter. If you know it isn’t for you, then avoid it. That’s the end of it. Do I think some things are weird or even kinda gross? Sure. But that doesn’t mean no one is allowed to like those things. If that was the case, no one would be allowed to write fic where people have sex in a kitchen or otherwise involve food in the process. That squicks me out, but that doesn’t mean people don’t want to get off to it. I avoid the tag and move on. Don’t waste your time on things you don’t like. Period.

Life is too short to waste your time on things that turn you off. That’s time better spent finding the things that turn you on. And hey, tastes change. Maybe someday I’ll decide I want to read people having sticky food sex (doubtful). Maybe someday I’ll decide that I cannot read another tentacle fic ever again (unlikely). I won’t know until that day does (or doesn’t) come. But I’m not gonna waste energy worrying about what other people think about my fantasies. They’re no one’s business but my own, and theoretically a future sex partner should I find one.

Fiction is for exploration, so explore! Find ways to keep yourself safe. Figure out what you need to avoid, and how to do it. Find the things you want to read and read them. Consume the media you want to consume. And if anyone bullies you for it or tries to make you feel bad, you block their ass on sight. They don’t deserve even a second more of your time.

#personal #rachel writes #if anyone wants to talk about this I'd be fine with that #but if you want to come over and shame me for how I figured myself out you can show yourself out #it just really burns me up seeing kink critical people coming after people for doing things they enjoy #the sex and fantasy lives of other people are none of your business #i'm not gonna go into the gray areas here because I'm not a lawyer and I don't want to get into it on what amounts to a vent post #so i'll leave off with 'don't break just laws' and call it good #above all else be kind #tbh i might delete this at some point but right now i'm feeling brave #mostly because i'm annoyed about purity culture tbh #deviantart was a dumpster fire but damn if i had a shame free place to figure out what things were #people on this hellsite are so uptight i feel like i'm back in high school #it's the Worst #I just wanna like my weird shit in peace

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