slwcosmo

[nudystar]

i think it’s bc i don’t interact with you that much 😓

true true but some of my other tags show up the second time I use them ????

I think tumblr just hates when black people get together 🙁

[unproduciblesmackdown]

that moment when: everyone's lives are restricted and constricted and these imposed consequences are attributed to anyone's continual individual failures to seek, find, and follow the Correct Path through Life, and so everyone is left on their own to only be seeking & finding these failures as well as the only answer to how their lives can be better....versus Not seeing the world as the free marketplace meritocracy of everyone's personal failures/successes, nor everything in your own life, and thus not forever having to scrutinize Where You Must Be Bringing It Upon Yourself by fucking up or at least failing to do the correct thing, and exist only in perpetual punishment for your ongoing failure and occasional temporary reprieves from it. recognizing everything that wasn't & isn't & wouldn't be [this is because you're bringing it upon yourself] and thus having more capacity & capability to look at the realm of your personal individual self, reality, experiences, life through the perpetual instances of seeking, finding, and following your own needs/wants through one's inherent personhood and exercises of autonomy and recognition of where & when & how one recognizes moments of their existing freely & in more resonant genuine alignment with themself, you know? endless examples to be found in endless fractals of [where & how are people's lives made smaller]. and that of course this doesn't preclude the ability/option at any time to question one's choices, since you'll be able to find more Actual choices available to you (and, also crucially, find more actual choices made by others that are in the pursuit of limiting Yours) to look at, and people getting to exercise their autonomy isn't the same as "everyone doing anything they want regardless of how it affects others" since that [how does it affect others?] element instead being Regarded would be able to lead to recognizing that, in fact, an effect might be the infringement on others' autonomy, hence: There's A Problem....like the ability to just go ham with [questioning???] anything in existence, certainly including oneself, b/c the "norm" is such that rather you're only supposed to be able to question yourself for your failings (or those positioned as less than, thus, beneath you) and not even have the language to express a questioning of aspects of life beyond that b/c stop calling anyone "cis" they're just Normal, Just Be Normal and it would all be fine

[breathinlove]

glue ellie williams imagine

read this

sinopse: you might have a crush on your friend, college!au

cw: swearing, basically fluff, ellie plays soccer, puppy love again because that's my thing, slightly nerdy loser!ellie, reader and ellie are oblivious, not explicit if reader is fem or masc, not exactly proofread.

it was a nice day, the sun gently hitting your face after a week of chilly wind and winter complaints from everyone. you were leaving your last morning class. you walked happily towards the college cafeteria, a thing that no one was ever happy to do. you feel hot on your back, your black jacket heating from the sun but you refuse to take it off and feel the chilly wind.

everything was going as smoothly as it could today. you had worries but the sun was nice and warm on your skin… as you walked you saw her. you saw ellie williams, and like this day, she was golden. a golden soccer player, the best player in your opinion, that's for sure. she walked over to you, that wasn't unusual.

“hey, sup?” she nudged your shoulder to catch your attention, unaware she already had all of it.

she had big green piercing eyes below her eyebrow slit and. you stared for a bit, that wasn't unusual either. she had a mid-sleeve blue shirt that left her tattoo slightly covered. she just waited for you to talk, as she always did, looking down and fidgeting with her fingers. you walked side by side.

“cafeteria?” you point towards the way to the cafeteria, the one you and ellie had been taking for a month now . she hums in agreement.

you met ellie in this same situation, her in front of you, the last ones in the line at the cafeteria. a guy, jesse, walked over to her, jumping the line. she called him out with a few chuckles and he apologized, telling you he just wanted to talk to her. she asked you to sit with her that day.

now, you're in the same line. her in front of you and no jesse to jump the line, but you're gonna sit with her again. the food was not appealing, but the company was great. that was something you and ellie agreed on but kept unspoken.

she's waiting for you to finish putting your food on the tray, so you can walk to the table. ellie looks at you over her shoulder and as soon as you're next to her she's sticking her hand out to your arm, you flinch slightly. ellie was more touchy than you.

“you're quiet.” she fixes your school bag's strap on your shoulder, her tattoo peeking out of her navy sleeve. her cold fingers touch a little of your collar.

“yeah?” you shrugged. “so are you anyway.” she took a breath and shrugged too, sitting down at the right corner table. that wasn't unusual at all.

“do you have any projects coming up?” ellie says as she sits down, she brushes a strand of her hair out of her face. you nod and she hums. “knew it. ya need any help?”

ellie was always the friend to help out in any way, she felt good doing it and she wanted her friends to succeed so if she could help, she would in a heartbeat.

“you wanna help me?” your pupils dilated and ellie noticed.

“no…i mean, yeah i do. you know i do.” she shook her head no, then nodded yes. she's a rambling mess and you just stare and it's making her stumble over her words. “come over after my practice.”

“‘kay.” you try to hold back a smile and you look at your food, the sun is warm and so are you. you thanked god she asked you to come over for a study sesh. you'd take any opportunity to see her and she'd always ask.

ellie was somewhat popular for playing on the soccer team. you had a separate friend group but sometimes people meet randomly and they just click. like you and ellie. you had met jesse when you met ellie, and you eventually met dina and ellie met your roommate but you never really hung out with other people.

you had been friends for a while, lunches in the cafeteria, study sessions, and dorm visits were what your friendship was about and you took every opportunity to see each other. you were getting ready to leave when niyah, your roommate and closest friend spoke out.

“you going to ellie's?” you smile in that certain way and niyah doesn't need an answer anymore.

“she's gonna help me with my project.” you sit down to put on your shoes, checking the time on your phone.

“again? you say she's a nerd and i'm starting to believe you.” and you're nodding.

“she is.” you chuckle. “so smart and a fucking geek!”

“alright, have fun studying i guess…”

“stop, i will. it's fun with her.” niyah mocks you, you throw a hat from the wall hooks at her and leave the room.

you walk a little bit until you get to ellie's dorm. the door is unlocked, as usual when you're coming over and you want to scare her.

“aaaaa…ha!” you yell as you go in, only to find out she isn't inside. you feel stupid and you giggle to yourself.

you sit on her neatly done bed, next to her dinosaur plushie and you text her ‘where are you’ ‘i was finna jumpscare you and no one was here… mad embarrassing’. you sighted, she was never late to see you.

ping! ellie replied ‘omw coach had us doing an extra today” you smile and ping! “i even left without a shower so i wouldn't be so late 💔” you replied “ig it didn't work”. you're waiting for a reply but soon enough you see a sweaty ellie coming into the room, soccer jersey still on.

“oh my god, intruder!” she faked a scare and you furrowed your eyebrows as in ‘you're not funny’. “what? you said you were gonna scare me so…”

“whatever.” you stay on your phone replying to some of your friends’ texts and she pulls it away, wearing a childish smile on her dumb face. some hair stuck sweaty on her forehead and her cheeks were flushed.

“you came here to work, not play on your phone!” she laughs and you cross your arms over you chest. you don't even bother reaching out for your phone.

“you still have to take a shower so…”

“do i?” she shrugs and you look disturbed, furrowing your eyebrows.

“ewwwwww, yes you do smelly ellie.” you laugh and she furrowed her eyebrows in that same ‘you're not funny’ way. the truth is, you find each other hilarious.

“fine, wait here.” she says before grabbing some clothes from her drawers and her towel. “gonna shower real quick, and… and we can start.” you hum and nod.

she goes to the bathroom and you stay on your phone texting niyah and some other friends while she's not back. you get anxious at the image of her in her sweaty jersey for some reason and if you took your eyes off your phone you'd stare. but now it isn't any better, she's coming in with fresh clothes, smelling as good as ever and with water drops on her hair.

“hey… you didn't take out your stuff yet?” she coughs, sitting on the bed too. you shake your head and she hums negatively as to scold you.

you don't take them out and she stays quiet while you stay completely still. when you decide to reach for your bag that you had previously thrown next to the bed, you knee nudges hers. she retracts instantly, making you lift your head to face her. book and laptop in hand.

you stare, as you feared you would before. she knows she's gonna stutter so she decides to stay silent. she blinks softly, eyes still piercing yours.

“it's a questionnaire about a documentary. so maybe this wasn't a good idea.” you hold your book and laptop closer to your lap.

“w-why is it not?” she stuttered and she wanted to leave, but it's her dorm room.

“because… you'd have to have watched it to help me reply so it's dumb.”

“we can watch it, and then we reply.” she reaches for the laptop you had in your lap.

“uhh… it's 3 hours long.” you chuckle and she scoffs in disbelief. “yeah…”

“why did you want help then?” she moves further onto the bed, turning her body to face you, holding your shoulder so you do the same, you comply.

“dunno. i just… i didn't think of what project it was, to be honest. i just wanted… this i think.” you look around, emphasizing the ‘this’ as you do.

“to come over?” you shrug before nodding. “could've just said that. ya know? not your tutor, i'm your friend.”

“i know… but i dunno, i like hearing you talk and you talk and talk when you're helping me and…” you stop yourself and she's beet-red.

“you ask for my help because you… you wanna hear me talk? sorry wait…?” she's convinced she misheard you or just misunderstood what you said. you're scared she might think you're weird or something.

“i guess so, but you're also really smart.” you try to hold back a smile again, and you look down. ellie wants to see you but she doesn't want you to see her blushed cheeks.

“makes sense, sorry if it seemed like that was the only way we could hang. ‘cause that's not true…. we can just hang out y'know?” you listen to her rambling, keeping your head down. she's done talking and you're silent. “can… can you look at me for a sec?”

and you do. what are those? are those your eyes? where's your iris? big ass dilated pupils. ellie chuckles.

“what?” you lean to put your laptop and book back in your bag and as soon as you do ellie holds your chin.

“you like it when i talk?” you blink a few times. “hm?” she insists and you nod. she stays quiet so you feel like you have to say it.

“i do. why?” you breathe so heavily that she feels your body alive against her fingers that she holds against your chin. her stomach twisted, she lost her words.

both were silent, her hand on your chin dropped and you were going to look away but she spoke again.

“‘cause… i like it when you look at me.” she's now fidgeting with her fingers against her lap again, eyes trying to not leave yours, she wouldn't wanna miss any expression of yours.

“sorry.” you try not to look away too. “i know i should look-”

“yeah, keep them on me.” she interrupts with a chuckle and your heart skips a beat. hers is fast. you chuckle back. “wh-what do you wanna do then?”

“just hang, like you said?” you finally move your body again, moving one of your legs onto the bed. she nods, and she notices you kept eye contact.

“yes.” she vocalized. “course.” a strand of wet hair is stuck on her forehead and you itch to move it around.

“why did the coach have you guys doing extra today?” you remember to ask.

“it was just me and dina, we were late.” she laughs and another strand of hair falls forward as she lowers her head. your hand trails off but you hesitate. “what?” she noticed you didn't laugh and your hand's movement.

“you have hair here.” she laughs and you sigh. “here…” you brush the strands away from her forehead, she's choked up.

your eyes go down to hers and as soon as they pierce yours you're choked up too. she breathed out a “thanks.” and she accidentally touched your nose with hers because of the proximity.

“that was a kunik.” you smile and she pulls away softly.

“what do you mean?” she curled her lips up in a sweet smile.

“your nose on mine.”

“nose kiss is cute.” she adds.

“mhm, i think so too.” you agree, palming your jeans. your hands were clammy and you wanted to take off your jacket and ellie seemed to read your mind.

“you're hot?” you furrow your eyebrows at first until you nod and take off your jacket. “glad you know.” now she's holding back a smile when you do too.

“uhm… today's warm.”

“are you really talking about the weather right now?” she laughs at your conversation attempt and you slap her arm.

“it's not like that… it's actually nice and warm today.” you giggle. “i was thinking about it.”

“right… right… it's true, it is warm.” she surrenders to your true statement. “it's nicer to practice like this, makes you feel more energetic.”

“plus made you sweat so hard.” you laugh, remembering the state she was in.

“naaah, it's always like that, but coming back here speeding wasn't as refreshing as the walks when it's colder” she emphasizes speeding and glares harder at you with a grin.

“hey! i didn't ask you to speed here!” you smile, she mirrors that. your smiles fade away with the silence that settles again. you were about to speak again when ellie beat you to it.

“i don't like being late.” she moves around to lie down next to your sat figure.

“you were just laughing about being late.” you start laughing, looking at her almost over your shoulder.

“about being late for practice, not about being late to see you.” she chuckles and you grin. she rolls her eyes, knowing what to expect from you.

“oooh because i'm just sooo more important.” you turn to her, leaning on the bed with your hands, closer to her face now.

“yeah right… you're just scarier than the coach.” she laughs but she stops drastically, serious expression. “it's your face. scary as shit i swear to god.”

“ooooh really?” you chant coming even closer.

“yeah keep that face away…” she acts frightened, one hand on top of her head and the other between your faces to keep you away. you lean even closer and you're both giggling “help!” even closer, giggles and chuckles alive.

“you're done for!” you come closer, face hitting her hand, that just holds your cheek.

you're still laughing and she's grabbing your face with both hands, pretending to scream in fear as you laugh into her face. you're almost on top of her and as soon as you touch, her eyes soften and you stiffen. the laughter is gone and long forgotten.

“nose kiss again?” she blurted out incoherently and you shifted, her hand slid to your neck, you felt hot again but now you didn't have a jacket to strip out of.

“what?” you crawl closer to settle where you were. your heart raced just like ellie's, even if you didn't know hers did. “ellie…” you start, not moving an inch away or closer, her head already lifted off the bed. her hand on your neck pulls you closer until your noses touch again.

“there, nose kissed.” she smiles. you let go of the breath you didn't realize you were holding. she moves her nose against yours. breathing against each other's faces.

[redstarwriting]

the clash | ii. time bomb

hobie brown x goth!reader

word count: 1.5k

genre: enemies to lovers

warnings: language, insults, hobie hating you, you hating hobie, y’all almost fight twice lmao

a/n: felt bad only posting the first chapter, so here’s the second one as well! i’ll get the third one out as soon as i can, but a bitch has work tomorrow and the next day. please enjoy chapter two everyone! and if you wanna be added to the taglist just let me know! :)

now reading: ii. time bomb

previous chapter: i. hey, ho! let’s go!

next chapter: iii. black planet

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Hobie swings his way to where he’s sure Gwen is, and in doing so he will probably also find Miles and Pavitr. He’s sure he looks like if someone said the wrong thing to him, he would punch them in the face, because honestly? He just might. And he doesn’t care. You pissed him off. With your stupid opinions. People like you are the reason anarchy can never succeed, you’re either all in or you’re all out. He hates the way you dismissed him, which is a shame because he really thought you were drop-dead gorgeous.

Speaking of drop, that thought makes him drop. Like, actually. He face plants.

He groans. Fucking hell, he’s never had to deal with this type of hatred before. Usually, it’s just cut and dry ‘I hate you cause xyz’, but fuck you are making it hard. While he hates you for what you said, he loves your style, and he respects you standing your ground and not giving into him with your beliefs, but at the same time, you piss him off. He glances around, “Meant to do that.” No one in particular hears him, but he quickly webs off again. He searches for bright blond hair, and sure enough, he sees Gwen. She’s chilling in the common room Hobie claimed as his own a while back. He claimed it by… redecorating. He just made it feel more like home, and since Miguel is such a lame ass, he didn’t appreciate all the colorful spray paint and broken furniture. But Hobie doesn’t really give a fuck. As he gets closer, he can see that Miles and Pavitr are there too, and… absolutely fucking not.

He lands directly next to you with an unamused look on his face. “And who invited you into my home away from home?” You look at him and roll your eyes. “This your place? Well, that explains why it looks like someone gave Mayday Parker a 50-pack of markers and told her to go to town in here–”

“Ha ha. Funny.”

“–and to answer your question, I invited myself,” you say smugly, and he narrows his eyes at you. “Don’t try to make me like you, it’s not gonna work, love,” he growls, and everyone can tell by the way he said love that he certainly did not mean it as a term of endearment. “I wouldn’t dream of it, mate,” you say, imitating his accent in over-exaggerated way. “I don’t think they are actually calling him their mate,” Pavitr whispers to Miles, who gives him an expression practically dripping in ‘no shit.’ Hobie tears his gaze away from you and looks at Gwen. “We need to show this twat around,” he huffs, and Gwen raises her eyebrows. “We? Isn’t that your job,” she says, and Miles nods. “Yeah, I remember you said you made a deal with Miguel that–”

“I don’t give a fuck if it’s my ‘job,’ when have I ever followed the rules of a fuckin’ job?” he seethes, and you snicker. “Aw, how endearing, the punk rebel has a job. I’ll be sure to go to Miguel and tell him you’re doing amazing, so that you don’t get fired, in fact, you could get promoted!”

“That’s it,” Hobie growls and turns to you, grabbing the neck of his guitar and getting ready to use it. You smirk and slightly crouch, ready to jump away or towards him, based on his next move. “OKAY! Okay, we’ll help you just put the damn guitar down,” Miles says, jumping between the two of you. Hobie looks at him before looking at you with a deep frown. “I don’t need help. I just need to make sure other people are here, so I don’t murder this nitwit,” he says, tossing his guitar back so it hangs off his back again. “If anythin’, you’re helpin’ them.”

“I don’t need help either. Especially not yours. I’ll find my way around here myself,” you say, crossing your arms. He turns and offers you a smile. “Well now that you say you definitely don’t want my help, looks like I’m gonna be that friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and assist you.”

“My hero,” you say sarcastically, pushing past him and walking out of the room. He motions for the others to follow you first, and walks out last, slinking in the back. Gwen takes up the role he usually plays in showing everyone around. You nod and listen, occasionally asking a question and cracking a joke. He hates to admit it, but your jokes are actually very funny. It’s refreshing to hear deadpan, straightforward, dry comedy instead of the puns and silly jokes all the other Spider-People love to make. But he doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t even crack a smile. Just watches you.

‘Like a creep,’ you think, catching him staring at you for what feels like the 50th time. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the attention you were getting from him. Truthfully, he’s probably the most attractive person you’ve ever laid eyes on.

Such a tragedy he’s also the worst person you’ve ever had the displeasure to speak with.

“Your suit is so cool, by the way,” Miles says to you, and you give him a grin. “Thanks. Made it myself.”

“Yeah. I can tell,” you hear Hobie pipe up, and your head snaps towards him. “Because it’s so stylish, fashionable, and better than anything you could do yourself?”

“No. ‘Cause it looks like it was put together by a colorblind toddler. If you look close enough, the blacks don’t even match,” he says, smirking. Now this was a lie. All the black in your suit was a perfect shade of raven, he just knew it would piss you off. And it did. “Fuck you. At least my suit doesn’t look like a twelve-year-old who just discovered Hot Topic for the first time,” you hiss, and he scoffs. “Watch your fuckin’ mouth there, mate.”

“You watch yours, mate.”

“Okay, both of you shhhhhhh!” Gwen says, and you both look at her. “Don’t tell me what to do–”

“Stop talking like me!”

“What?! You stop talking like me!”

“Oh my God, the romantic tension is through the roof right now!” Pavitr suddenly pipes up, and now the both of you are staring at him, dark expressions on your faces. “I’d rather be eaten alive by a single piranha so it would take days until I finally succumbed to the sweet release of death,” you hiss and Hobie nods. “Finally. Somethin’ we agree on.” He turns and looks at you, and you roll your eyes at him. “Way to de-escalate, buddy,” Miles whispers to Pavitr, and Pavitr sighs as Miles walks a little faster to catch up with everyone else. “But I was being serious…”

Gwen continues to show you around, and when she finally finishes, you all are back at ‘Hobie’s common room.’ You walk back inside and sit on the tattered and broken-down couch. The way the room is decorated is kind of cool, you must admit. You’re just not a fan of the mismatched colors everywhere. And it could use a couple more decorations. Like bat skeletons. Or just live bats. That would be adorable. “Thanks for showing me around,” you thank Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr. “Not you, though,” you say to Hobie and he snorts. “Good. I wouldn’t want you to thank me for anything.”

“Why do you two hate each other so much? Didn’t you literally just meet?” Miles asks, looking exhausted from the snarky remarks coming from both of you. “We did,” you confirm. “And we don’t get along cause they don’t have any strong belief system.”

“Yes, I do! I’m just realistic, and he can’t understand that,” you say and he rolls his eyes. “Realistic, eh? I already told you I led a rebellion.”

“And I told you it doesn’t matter because everyone is shit. How many villains have you fought since this rebellion you led?”

“None of your fuckin’ business.”

“So, you’ve fought at least one. What did that rebellion get you then, huh?”

“I recommend you shut your fuckin’ mouth before I shut it for you.”

“Please, do try. I need a new skeleton for my collection,” you growl and the two of you jump at each other. Luckily, Gwen and Miles web both of you and hold you back. “That’s enough of that,” Gwen says. “I have an idea,” Miles says, “why don’t we go visit your universe, (Y/n)? Maybe then Hobie can see why you’re so… negative.”

“I’m not goin’ anywhere near that place,” Hobie nearly yells. “Good. I don’t want you there anyway.”

“On second thought, I think it might be very eye-opening to see the world you grew up in. Maybe I can team up with your sinister six and put you in your place,” he spits out at you, causing you to glare at him and flip him off again. “A field trip sounds fun, especially after all this just happened. Maybe it will help the two of you lighten up,” Pavitr says, and you both roll your eyes. “Fine. You can all come. But if you step one toe out of line, Hobie–”

“What? You’ll yell at me?”

“No. I’ll torture you to the point that you would beg me for death.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

───────────────────────────────

『 tag list 』

@casmosmoon* @khaleesihavilliard​ @sparklyphantom​​ @weyrrii*

*if you are italicized - i am unable to tag you for whatever reason, feel free to reach out and see if we can fix the issue

[luimnigh]

Okay, I wanna pitch a Marvel movie.

Now, this is a Marvel movie that will absolutely never get made. They would not allow this. So here's my pitch:

We open on a heist. A group of absolutely Z-list, one-paragraph-on-the-marvel-wiki, single-digit-appearance-count supervillains robbing a secure facility. The villain that hired them narrates the plan as we watch, and while it doesn't go off without a hitch, some of the more bloodthirsty villains cause some unecessary bloodshed, it succeeds.

Our villain protagonists leave the scene in a van, loot inside, and drive off into the countryside to a rural, isolated house in the forest to lay low for a couple days. Everyone's celebrating their success, they're drinking, there's some drugs, a few people sneak off for sex. This is the point where we get to know the personalities of our villains, some are assholes, some are complete monsters, and there's a few people who are pretty decent and are really only in supervillainy because life dealt them a shit hand. We can see factions dividing our group of villains.

Their boss finally arrives separately, sporting some more villains as muscle, and the conversation turns back to business: the division of the loot.

And then someone finds a body outside.

One of the villains has been murdered. Everyone is immediately suspicious of everyone else, accusations are thrown, motives speculated, tensions get higher and higher, weapons get drawn-

A shot rings out. Everyone either opens fire or runs. One or two villains die in the crossfire, others are injured, this goes on until one of the more sympathetic villains calls for a ceasefire.

They're in the middle of trying to talk everyone down when they hear a car engine start, and one of the villains who ran from the fight bursts out of the garage in the getaway van-

With the loot still inside.

A few of the villains fire shots at it, but are soon stopped- they could destroy the loot. The boss explains as the van drives down the road that with his resources, tracking the villain that's double-crossed them would be easy as-

And then the van explodes in the background.

As our main party of villains makes their way to the burning wreckage, flaming dollar bills falling around them, they speculate on who the hell boobytrapped the getaway van-

But are interrupted by a click.

One of our villains looks down to see that nobody boobytrapped the van. Someone landmined the road.

Thankfully, one of our villains is a techie, and after a few tension-filled minutes, they disarm the mine. The villain who stepped on the mine is thankful, and the techie explains that they should be able to clear the road soon enough, right before their head explodes in a shower of gore.

If the landmines hadn't made it clear enough, that certainly sealed the deal: this wasn't a double cross, this wasn't an ordinary murder.

They're being hunted.

This is a slasher movie.

The film continues on, the villains getting picked off one at a time in creative and gruesome ways, some even having their tech stolen and used to kill other villains. But throughout, we never catch a glimpse of the killer.

Right up to the end of start of the final act. By this stage, you've started to root for our supervillains to overcome this. There's a few assholes left you wouldn't mind seeing die before the final curtain, but the killer's will have lost sympathy by this stage, having killed some of the more likable villains. We wanna see them pay for that.

And just as the killer is stabbing one of those likable villains to death, our surving villains, and the audience, finally catch sight of the predator that's been stalking them through the night.

A man dressed all in black... except for big white skull painted on his chest.

And suddenly there's no guarantee that any of the villains you've come to like are walking away alive.

[soubi122]

Giving In - Baji Keisuke

Smut, friends to lovers, short stories, one shot. ALL ADULTS - 🚫NO MINORS PLEASE! 🚫

Baji

"You're kidding me…right?" Baji asks as he plants himself on your couch. To respond to his question you shook your head no. No, you weren't kidding - the guy who you were seeing ended up dumping you because you didn't put out. He was rushing things and almost forced himself on you. The tears in your eyes were like a punch to the gut. "Where is he now? I just wanna talk to him." That tone in his voice, you knew for a fact that he didn't want to talk to him. Baji was going to beat up your now ex boyfriend, and leave him black and blue. "Is sex all that guys ever think about?" You ask while trying not to cry even more. Being somewhat inexperienced and a virgin didn't work out that well with your ex. There were things that he wanted from you that you couldn't bring yourself to do. 

"Sex isn't important, it's the connection between the two people that is important." Baji begins to explain, to be fair he's had his share of women but popping a cherry is a very special thing. He's popped a few before but the relationships don't last because they can't handle him being in a gang. They wanted to change him to be something he's not. You've known him since you were 8 and it's never dawned on you before - he is a fucking menace. Underneath the rough edges and threatening presence, Baji was a real sweetheart and an animal lover. It just so happens that if he's hungry, he'll probably set a car on fire or if you pick on one of his friends - you'll get your ass handed to you. Growing up around nothing but boys made you rather aloof to sex. It wasn’t talked about around you and you didn’t get that far in your relationships to find out. "Keisuke…be honest with me - do girls who lack experience turn guys off?" You ask him and sit next to him, Baji would never lie to you. Not about things like this, right? 

Baji shifted his position on the couch and faced you. “Having experience should make no difference if he really likes you. Sure some guys prefer it if they don’t want to take it slow. But if you’re not ready to move forward, then you’re not ready and they can’t force it either.” His words made your heart flutter, he was being sincere and not just another guy who blames the girl. Who would you trust to pop your cherry anyways? Relationships were hard, not only because you were inexperienced but because the men around you kind of scared other guys off. Baji’s instincts were always right though, if he doesn’t like your boyfriend, it’s for a reason. He didn’t like your now ex boyfriend and was always butting heads with him. Multiple times you’ve had to ask Chifuyu and Kazutora to restrain Baji. Did they succeed? No. The only one who could was you.

Your next question floored him and made his brain short circuit. “So…what do I do? And how do I learn?” The raging red blush that covered his face became apparent to you. Did you cross the line? “What?” You ask innocently - isn’t this what friends do? Give advice on something they have experience with? “Shouldn’t you be asking Emma about this? Why are you asking me?!” He retorted and avoided your eyes. As much as you loved Emma - she was on the same boat as you, if not worse. Draken was a gentleman and their relationship just began to bloom. Besides, you trusted Baji and he wouldn’t steer you in the wrong direction. This was too much for him, he got up and headed for the door. “Where are you going?” You ask him and trail behind him. He ignored you and continued walking. “I can’t help you with this (Y/N), it would be wrong for me to do so…” With that he left your home, leaving you in a state of confusion. You’ve always shared personal things with him, why was this any different?

By the end of night, you were tossing and turning in bed - you couldn’t sleep and Baji’s words didn’t make it any better. You ended up doing what anyone would do, search it up online. Unfortunately, what it led to was nothing but porn sites and forums of how losing your virginity hurts like hell. It honestly worried you. What if you were to bleed all over the place? What if it hurts so much that you can’t keep going and it puts your partner off even more? However, you couldn’t help but be curious about the sensation of having something inside you. What would it feel like having someone touch you? What would it feel like to stimulate yourself? Who could you picture sharing this moment with? What was this amazing and blissful sensation that these people talk about that supposedly makes your toes curl and make your vision go white? 

You began to let your hands roam your body, slowly creating heat under the sheets and making your heart pound. With an erotic video playing on your phone, you watch the girl on the screen and mirror her hand movements. Seeing how her fingers were delicately sliding through her folds, you did the same and felt a sudden jolt of pleasure when the tips of your fingers placed a little more pressure on your clit. As your fingers trailed further south, you felt how your slick was beginning to pool between your legs and it felt amazing. Your breath hitched when your index finger prodded your core. Is this what it felt like? Feeling how your entrance clenched and spasmed, it made your finger go deeper. 

Soft and breathy moans began to fill the room as you slowly explored your body. You couldn't keep your eyes off the screen, seeing how deep her fingers went, you felt envious - you didn't know you were missing out on this the whole time. It felt so wrong but you couldn't help wanting more. Closing your eyes, your mind began to wander and a familiar face appeared. The male had long dark hair, brown eyes and fangs poked out as he smiled. "Ngh…Keisuke!" His name slipped out of your mouth and it made your back arch. Slipping in another digit, your thighs began to quiver at the thought of having him here - teaching you how to touch yourself and watching you do so. 

Calling his name one more time had you whimpering and moaning. "I-I…want to cum." You say with such need and frustration. There was something building up inside you but you were too afraid to let go. You needed help to draw it out. Too enthralled with your own body, you didn't notice that your phone was still open. Long gone were the sounds of the dirty video but the sound of someone breathing heavily on the other side. The more you thought about him, the tighter your coil winded and the more you wanted to drown in bliss. 

It was so close, you just needed that extra push but you couldn't get there. You didn't know how or where to touch yourself to reach your high. "Fuck…I can't…" Sighing in defeat you stop and take a minute to calm down and get your heartbeat back to normal. Opening your eyes and staring at the ceiling, you pouted and wished for more until you noticed that the screen was still lit. "Oh, well at least she finished." You chuckle and lock your phone. 

Hoping into the shower, you clean up and head back to bed. The moment your head touches the pillow a sudden knock on your door makes you jolt up. Who the fuck? You ask yourself as you get up to check. Looking through the peephole you see the person whose name you were calling out while your fingers were up your cunt. Opening the door, you see him and he's panting hard - almost as if he's out of breath. "Keisuke…what are you-" You began to say but were cut off by him crashing his lips into you. The sudden action threw you completely off. Baji wasn't stopping, his kisses were intense and he made his way through your front door while still being latched onto you and kicked the door closed behind him. 

Pulling away you finally got a breather. "What are you doing here and why-" He didn't let you finish your question. "I heard everything. You called my name." He smirked, almost baring his fangs. His response made your stomach flip. He heard you, when? Oh God this was beyond mortifying. You covered your face and felt as if your skin was on fire. "How??" But recalling how your phone was still lit up when you stopped playing with yourself, it made you dizzy, did he call? Was it an accidental voice command? You couldn't think straight, let alone breathe. "Doesn't matter, you wanna  cum, right? Just don't know how? I'll show you…" Sweet baby cthulhu…he made your knees weak. Not even knowing how to respond, you nodded yes with your head still in your palms. 

In your room, Baji leaned against the headboard and had you completely bare with your back against his chest. He roamed his hands along the valley of your chest, gently massaging your breasts and planted kisses on your cheek and nibbled on the shell of your ear. "Some women cum by just stimulating their tits, you know. Let's find out if you're one of them, shall we?" He asks as he pinches and rolls your nipples between his fingers. He was making you pant and squirm, your hands immediately grip his thighs, it felt like electricity was coursing through your veins. Seeing you so vulnerable and hearing your whimpers made his cock harden. You felt him twitching, would he put it in you before the end of the night? It feels big, could you handle him or will he tear you apart? 

Your hips were beginning to rut against nothing as he continued to get rougher. The stimulation felt amazing but you were getting impatient - you wanted to be touched somewhere else. "Keisuke, please - touch me here…" You beg, taking his hand and guiding him through your folds. Never in his life did he imagine you begging him to touch you, nor having your nude body in sight. Lithe fingers were gently exploring your honeypot with tenderness. Baji could feel your slick coating his fingers, you were so wet that he thought you might just be able to take him now. "(Y/N), have you played with yourself like this before?" He asks and slides a single digit in your hole and pinches your nipple harder. The difference was apparent, his single finger reached deeper than your own fingers. Your lips parted and your chest was heaving as he thrusted his finger in and out. Baji could feel your walls clench and your body tremble against him. She's gonna fucking take my cock so well… He thinks to himself. 

"We need to stretch you out a bit more, sweetheart. Open your legs a little wider for me." Doing as you're told you thought you were going to melt on top of him. He was making your body feel ecstasy with minimal effort. Soon your cunt clenched as he added a second digit. "ah…you're-" You moaned but were cut off by him tilting your head in his direction and kissing you. He swallowed your moans as his fingers picked up the pace. He was making a mess out of you as his tongue overwhelmed yours. Baji curled his finger to hit a certain spot that made your hips jolt. Breaking the kiss, you moan loudly and say his name. "’Feels good yeah? Remember this feeling." He whispers in your ear and wraps his arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him and grinding his hardened member against you. “How do you want to cum, sweetheart? From my hands, my tongue…my cock? Or all three? I’ll make you cum as many times as you can handle.” He was serious, showing you how to come undone and helping you understand your body was a mission he wanted to complete. A tingling sensation was building up and running down your spine. “Oh god, Kei - I think I’m gonna cum.” You mewl and clench around his digits. Hearing him pant and lightly groan as his cock was receiving friction had your core dripping even more - he sounded divine. 

Baji released your waist and focused his other hand on your clit - he was working you double time. His fingers were tracing circles on your bundle of nerves, making your pitch higher and higher. Your body didn’t know where to focus, inside or outside? Regardless, it was an intense sensation that was taking over your body, your coil had been wound up so tight that your nails were digging into his thighs. “Cum for me, baby.” Almost on queue, your body reached its limit and your coil snapped. Oh how he loved the way his name repeatedly dripped from your lips. You experienced your first orgasm and at the hands of your closest friend. He left you gasping and writhing. 

Soon you realized that your lower half was drenched in your juices. Not only did you orgasm but you squirted all over his hands and wrist. “K-Keisuke, I’m so sorry!” You squeak in embarrassment and cover your face with your hands, you don't wanna look him in the eyes - what if he is disgusted with you? Baji cupped your chin and titled your face towards him, making you drop your hands away from your face, he was smirking. He popped his fingers in his mouth and licked his digits clean, with no words he was letting you know it was ok. You tasted like honey and he wanted more. "We're not done (Y/N)...lay down." He commanded and gave you a wicked grin. You clenched instinctively, the man was determined to have you fall apart over and over again. 

Sure enough Baji was between your thighs, you could feel his lips curl into a smile when your thighs quivered. He dove in and darted his tongue in and out. Your hands were pulling his hair, trying to keep yourself from floating off into the Abyss. His continuous teasing and edging had you begging for mercy. "Keisuke - please! Let me cum!" You beg pathetically and rut your hips, the way he flattened his tongue to take a long swipe of your slit made your back arch. Baji continued licking and sucking on your clit with fervor. Your clit was already sensitive from your first O, having him fuck you with both his tongue and fingers - you thought you were going to die. 

He was pulling your strings and making your body feel and do things you never thought were possible. "You're mine now, (Y/N). No one else will have you, no one else will touch you or make you cum like me." Baji said while gripping your thighs and focusing on your bundle of nerves. Finally, he granted your wish and had your eyes rolling to the back of your skull. Your moans were almost screams. The sound of someone pounding on the wall next door made you both pause and burst out in laughter. Ok, maybe he made you cum a little too hard this time. “I might have to move Kei…I don’t think I can look at my neighbors faces anymore.” You say out of breath and pull him up towards you, locking your lips with his and nip at the tip of his tongue. 

Baji pulled away and looked you in the eyes. His expression was serious, did you do something wrong? “So, are you mine?” Ah, that’s why he stopped, he wanted affirmation from you. You’ve known him long enough to know that when he really likes someone - he won’t let them go. “I’m all yours Keisuke…” Now for sure your neighbors were going to hate you tonight. Baji was going to keep making you scream all night - he wasn’t finished as he had yet to make you cum on his cock. 

END

[moonchildreads]

small town

Chapter 24 - Up Where We Belong

IN THIS CHAPTER: Graduation gowns, strawberry milkshakes, and Wayne asks a question [9.9k]

WARNINGS: dealing with grief (nancy, dottie, eddie to a less extent), writer not knowing how graduations are in the us

A/N: happy new year!!!! i hope everyone is having a wonderful start of 2024, here's your belated christmas gift from yours truly. if you read this and think "that's not how that works", then i don't know what to tell you bestie but i tried. i watched a TON of graduation ceremonies on youtube and i pulled heavily from those, aside from borrowing things from my own not-american graduation. i hope you enjoy it anyways! (and let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist!) <3

masterlist - prev - next | playlist

All we have is here and now All our life, out there to find

Friday, June 13th - 1986

Wayne Munson had walked the halls of Hawkins High School several times throughout recent years courtesy of his nephew’s misbehaving, but never making it past Principal Higgins’ office was turning out to be a problem. Resigned, he stomped on his cigarette gently before following a family that looked like they knew where they were going, regretting not taking up Eddie’s offer to escort him inside before he disappeared in search of his friends and fellow graduates. Graduation. Ain’t that a funny thing to think about, Wayne mused. The auditorium, he noted as he finally found it, was decorated in bright orange and calming forest green, a Class of 1986 paper banner hanging from the dark curtain that was doing its job as an unassuming background at the very back of the room. On the stage, there was a regal-looking wooden lectern, and a small table with stacked up rolls of paper tied with orange and green ribbons; next to it, a bunch of black chairs where teachers would probably be sitting during the event had been carefully lined up into a single row.

Excitement filled the air. It was in the murmurs of the people taking their seats, skimming their programs to proudly find the names of their kids printed on the semi-matte paper. It was in the way the school’s faculty could not stand still, barely having time to say hello to everyone walking in before they were off to check yet another little detail so everything could go as smoothly as possible. Wayne walked down the central aisle trying to find a good spot to sit in while feeling a bead of sweat go down his back. The last time he’d worn a suit, any suit, had been to his mother’s funeral eight years before; in fact, he still only owned that one suit. The temperature in Hawkins was steadily rising as June turned into July, and Wayne felt incredibly stuffy in his clothes but he didn’t dare wear anything less for such a special day. Eddie had defied all odds and was now a High School Graduate, the first Munson to walk to stage in three generations. Truth be told, his Uncle was willing to bet that he was actually the first one to do so in their entire family history, and thus, Wayne wore the suit, and the shirt, and the tie, and searched for a seat near the front to witness his nephew doing the exact opposite of what the whole town had always expected him to do: succeed.

Bianca, Donny’s mom, was fussing over her youngest grandson, Francesco, when she saw Wayne looking a little lost in the crowd and waved at him to wordlessly invite him to sit with them. The eldest Munson approached them with a smile, settling himself on the row behind the Vitale family who was so very busy trying to keep little Francesco and his (barely) older cousin Marco from running down the aisles and bothering other families.

“Good to see y’all made it,” Wayne commented, shaking Donny’s dad Angelo’s hand before turning to Vittoria, Donny’s heavily pregnant older sister. “Though I coulda sworn I heard you were on bed rest, missy.”

“I am, but what my doctor doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” she laughed, hand resting over her swollen belly. “This little lady hasn’t stopped kicking me all day, I think she’s more excited than I am to finally be outside the house!”

“It’s a special day, I’m sure the doctor won’t mind too much as long as we take it slow,” her husband said, kissing the side of her head. “Say hi to Mr. Munson, Marco.”

“Hi!” the little boy said, standing between his parents’ seats. “Whose Grandpa are you?”

“Marco!” his dad exclaimed, but Wayne laughed loudly.

“That’s not a grandpa, you dummy! That’s Eddie’s dad,” said Francesco, before grabbing his cousin’s hand and leading him towards Nonna Giulia down the row in search of the candy she always kept in her purse.

“I’m sorry,” Vittoria said with an apologetic smile. “They read this picture book about families at pre-school and now he thinks all men with white hair are grandpas.”

“Ah, it’s fine. I know I’m not gettin’ any younger,” Wayne joked, his eyes straying to the side of the auditorium where the seniors were finally getting ushered into formation.

The Vitale family craned their necks to see their boy, and Wayne in turn searched for his: Eddie was standing near Jeff towards the middle of the line, the two of them engaged in conversation as they waited for everyone to get into their respective places. It wasn’t that Eddie wasn’t paying attention to what his friend was saying; he was clearly answering back and keeping the chat going, but it seemed to his Uncle that he was searching for someone in the crowd, eyes scanning rows of unknown family members for a face he hadn’t yet found. Wayne was about to lift his hand to let him know where he was sitting, but it soon became apparent that Eddie hadn’t been looking for him - he had been looking for the short haired girl who had just ran into the auditorium with a panicked look on her face and an askew cap on her head.

Dottie hurried over to where her classmates were standing, enveloping a curly haired girl Wayne wasn’t familiar with at the very back of the line in an enthusiastic hug before doing the same with Donny. Wayne saw with an amused smile how Eddie waited patiently for his turn while she hugged Jeff, and how all his anxiety looked like it was melting away as he embraced her, eyes closed and face buried in her hair. After saying their hellos, Dottie kept walking to the front of the line where she greeted a strawberry blonde girl with excited hops and shared an equally loving hug with both her and Gareth. Her dad watched her with a fond smile from his place near the doors, a program held tightly in his hands. Taking pity on the poor man who Wayne knew was attending the event alone much like he was, he motioned for James to join their mismatched group who gladly took the offer, walking briskly towards the still empty seat next to Eddie’s uncle. James greeted Donny’s family before getting comfortable on his wooden chair and let a long breath out. Finally.

“Long morning?” Wayne asked, knowingly.

“Be grateful you don’t have a teenage girl in your house, Wayne. It was near impossible to get here on time,” James scoffed.

“Can’t be worse than Ed’s allergy to his damn alarm clock. It went off for a whole 15 minutes before he got up today.”

“Did it wake you up?”

“Nah. Was already up reading the paper but I wasn’t about to turn it off for him. He just rolls over and keeps sleeping if I do,” he said, and James shook his head with an affectionate smile on his face.

“Teenagers, right?”

“Yup. Teenagers.”

Over the few short months Wayne and James had known each other, they had learned to appreciate the quiet but hard work the other did for their respective kid. It wasn’t easy to be a single father, and even though Wayne wasn’t Eddie’s biological dad, there was no doubt in James’ mind that he fulfilled that role wonderfully in the boy’s life and heart. The Munsons and the Burkes had gone through a lot over the years, that much was undeniable, but on that hot Friday morning both fathers could be proud that their kids had made it to the other side relatively unharmed, all the while somehow finding each other to rely on along the way. If Dottie and Eddie were going to be inseparable all summer as they had been since the day they met, it was only fair James and Wayne got to compare notes on parenting and commiserate over the little annoying things they’d miss once the kids had left the comforting safety of their family homes.

Before they could continue their talk however, teachers began herding the seniors into a neat single file and getting into their places on the stage, Principal Higgins taking his spot behind the lectern. Excitement amplified as the crowd hushed - only suppressed coughs and a few little children’s voices could be heard in the quiet room. Wayne saw Higgins approach the mic and took a deep breath letting the pride he’d been feeling all morning take over him. The heat of the almost-here summer was forgotten outside in the parking lot, along with his smushed cigarette butt and the heavy weight he’d been carrying since a CPS agent left a scared 8-year-old Eddie on his doorstep all those years ago.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I’m Hawkins High School Principal Thomas Higgins,” the man began, voice booming across the room with the aid of loudspeakers; Dorothy peered at him over the shoulder of the taller girl standing in front of her. “On behalf of the faculty, staff, and administration of Hawkins High, we’d like to welcome family and friends, and most importantly, to our seniors to the Commencement Exercises of the Graduating Class of 1986.”

Higgins paused for effect and the crowd followed his cue by breaking into happy applause - the aforementioned seniors gleefully waved to the few family members they could find within the sea of heads straining to look at them. The Class of ‘86 stood patiently to the side towards the back of the auditorium, waiting to be called into the main aisle where their names would be announced one by one and they’d go up the stage, accept their diploma, and go back downstairs to the rows of chairs at the front left that had been reserved for them. The full graduating class was small, no more than 40 students, and Dottie wondered how different things would have been for her if she were graduating with her New York classmates in a year that comprised around 400 kids instead of doing it in Hawkins, Indiana.

“Please, rise from your seats and join us in singing the National Anthem, followed by the Hawkins High School Spirit Song,” Higgins announced, and the sound of creaking wooden chairs filled the air as everyone followed his request.

Dottie sang along to the National Anthem without thinking too much about it, but when the first notes of the Hawkins High school song came through the speakers, she realized she had no idea what the lyrics were. No one had told her they’d be singing it during their only rehearsal, and certainly no one had spared a moment to teach it to her in the last six months. She wasn’t even sure she knew a spirit song even existed before that very moment. Eyes surveying over the crowd of family members, she saw that most if not all were singing along - the only ones not joining in were probably those who hadn’t attended Hawkins High and lived in a different town, perhaps even in a different state altogether. Heat rising up her chest under her dark green gown, she turned her head to the front, feeling very much like an outsider amongst her peers for the first time in months. Bryan Butler right behind her sang louder as the song was ending and she tried to not call attention to herself to let him take the spotlight. Once the music stopped, Principal Higgins neared the lectern to continue his speech.

“Thank you, you may be seated now,” Higgins said, and the wooden creaking resumed for a second as everyone sat back down to watch the rest of the ceremony. “The Hawkins High School Class of 1986 has experienced many memorable moments over the last four years, and Hawkins is proud of how these young graduates have worked and persevered through hard times to get to this day. We as faculty could not be prouder or more thrilled to celebrate with them, and we look forward to sending them off onto the next chapter in their lives. Parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and other family members, we are honored to have you here today as our guests to celebrate our graduates and we thank you for your support. Please clap along as the Class of 1986 proceeds to their places.”

The speakers began playing Pomp and Circumstance March No.1 in D and the crowd broke into fervent applause once more, Michael Allen leading the way for his fellow seniors to stand in the central aisle right below the middle set of stairs where they’d wait to be called to the stage. As they fell into their designated spots, Dottie finally recognized who had been assigned to stand right in front of her; it was Robin Buckley, the shy band nerd she had met at Family Video a few weeks earlier and briefly bonded with over their shared love of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. She was wearing white Converse sneakers with little drawings in blue and black ink, and the edges of her black rolled up jeans could be seen poking below her gown. She’s so cool, Dottie thought, not knowing that Robin was desperately trying not to scan the audience lest her nerves paralyzed her. Not even painting her nails bright orange had saved them from being chewed on this time around.

“Hawkins High School’s Class of 1986 was given the opportunity to choose a member of our staff to read their names as they cross the stage today,” Principal Higgins explained as three people already on stage stood from their seats. “I am honored to announce that this year, our Assistant Principal Mrs. Elaine Chandler will present the diplomas to our newest graduates. Mrs. Suzanne O’Donnell, Mr. Leopold Hauser, and myself will present them with their diploma cover, graduation medallions, and honor cords if applicable. Elaine?” he motioned for her to switch places with him.

“Thank you, Principal Higgins,” said Assistant Principal Elaine Chandler, adjusting her glasses on her nose as she looked down the list of names in front of her. “Allen, Michael,” she called first from behind the lectern, and the crowd clapped as Michael went up to her and received a hug and a rolled up certificate before moving down the stage towards the other teachers to shake their hands.

Dottie’s palms began sweating as more names kept being called and her time as a Hawkins High student slowly came to an end. Even though she had felt very much like an intruder looking in through a window during her first few months in the town, she had to admit that was happy here now - certainly much more happier than she’d ever been back in New York. Here all the teachers knew her name without having to read it from a file. Here she had a group of friends she’d go to literal Hell and back for, and she had a boyfriend who loved her the way she’d always thought love should be: easy and gentle. Here she had attended the best prom of her life, and her face would be permanently attached to a club that had given her the safety she’d never gotten anywhere else to finally, truthfully, be herself. Here Dottie had been at home.

While Barnes, Kathleen was getting her extracurricular honor cords for being part of the cheerleading team, Mrs. Chandler called upon Buckley, Robin and Dottie suddenly found herself at the front of the line. Robin climbed the steps with as much grace as she could muster while being pretty much mortified, and Mrs. Chandler soothed her with friendly pats on her back before presenting her with her diploma. The tall girl accepted it with shaky hands, her rings glinting under the stage lights, when a loud cheer rang above the polite applause of the crowd. Robin laughed, half embarrassed and half grateful, and when Dottie turned to see where the sounds were coming from, she found not only Dustin and Erica hooting and hollering besides a couple who were clearly Robin’s parents, but also that Steve guy that worked at Family Video with her, the one that Robin had described as her strictly platonic best friend with a capital P. It looked like retail did bond you forever after all.

Mr. and Mrs. Buckley looked between confused and amused as Steve pinched his bottom lip and let out a loud whistle - a chortle escaped Robin’s mouth while a cheerful Mr. Hauser, who had been her favorite teacher all four years of high school, put her graduation medallion around her neck, nerves all but forgotten before she skipped her way down to Mrs. O’Donnell to receive her extracurricular honor cords for being in band. Huh, that’s curious, Dottie thought distractedly. Didn’t know Dustin and Erica were such good friends with her and Steve. I wonder how they met.

“Burke, Dorothy,” called Mrs. Chandler through the speakers, jostling Dottie out of her musings.

This was it. The moment of truth. Dottie climbed the stairs and accepted a hug from Mrs. Chandler, hearing her friends cheering for her loudly in the background when her damp fingers came into contact with her diploma. She glanced at the crowd and time seemed to stop when her eyes found her Dad, a proud smile on his face and his program tucked under his armpit so he could clap loudly for his daughter. She waved at him and Wayne, who had also stood up to cheer for her, and time resumed after a blinding flash went off and she was whisked along to where the rest of the teachers were standing. She shook hands with both Principal Higgins and Mr. Hauser even though she hardly knew both men, and accepted her diploma cover and her graduation medallion before turning towards Mrs. O’Donnell. She was about to hug her teacher when the old woman presented her with her own honor cords, entwined green and orange ending in delicate tassels dangling from her manicured hands.

“That’s not- I’m not-” Dottie began.

“You have one of the highest GPAs in your year, besides being involved in two extracurriculars. Congratulations, Miss Burke. You’ve earned this,” O’Donnell said, and it was perhaps the only time in the whole semester Dottie had seen her genuinely smile.

“T-thank you,” she managed to get out, letting the woman drape the cords on her shoulders and rushing to her seat before she began bawling on stage.

“Hey, congrats!” Robin whispered once they were both seated next to each other, shaking her own cords lightly. The ceremony continued with no regards to their little chat.

“You too! Didn’t know I had qualified for any of this, I think everyone saw me have an aneurism up there.”

“Nah, everyone’s too nervous about not tripping down the stairs on their way back, don’t worry about it.”

“Coleman, Gareth,” Mrs. Chandler announced, grabbing Dottie’s attention.

Carver, Jason hadn’t even reached the sidestage stairs to go down after accepting his diploma when Gareth, in his haste to get everything over with, tried to climb two steps at a time and got his feet tangled in his dark green gown. Cunningham, Chrissy, who was right behind him, quickly caught his arm before he could lose balance and hit the floor. He quietly thanked her with red cheeks and embarrassed eyes before he finally went up the stairs, one step at a time. Chrissy went back to the front of the line while other classmates around Dottie and Robin snickered at the little mishap; Gareth accepted his diploma and other paraphernalia, and got the hell off the stage as quickly as humanly possible.

“Thank God that wasn’t me,” Robin muttered, and Dottie grimaced in agreement.

Gareth ended up awkwardly sitting between Jason and Chrissy, but much to his relief, they had all been assigned to the row behind Dottie. Taking advantage of the proximity, he leaned forward to talk to his friend as the ceremony progressed and Chrissy quickly joined, stopping to give Dottie a kiss on her cheek from her seat behind her as a second greeting. Jason watched the scene unfold and asked himself when had his girlfriend started hanging out with people he didn’t know. He thought he knew everything about Chrissy - when had that changed and to what extent? Selfishly, he couldn’t help but think about what the future would look like for them when they left for college. Chrissy was headed to OSU and he would be at Indiana State, almost four hours and more than 250 miles between them. Would this be their last summer together? He didn’t like to entertain that thought.

Davis, Monica, Foster, Kyle, and Hanson, Randall were some of the names they didn’t pay much attention to until Humphrey, Andrew was called to the stage. Jason distracted himself from his anxiety over his relationship possibly having an expiration date by clapping loudly for his best friend. Dottie and Gareth shared a mischievous look: Andy wasn’t wearing any bandages on his nose anymore, but the dark purple shadow under his eye was still very visible with the bright stage lights illuminating his face. After him came Hurley, Marcie, one of Dot’s colleagues from the newspaper club, and Kemper, Lucy, the girl who had sold almost everyone their prom tickets. Morgan, Theresa was on stage when Dottie realized she knew almost all the people in her graduating class by name now, even if they had never spoken to one another before. In New York, she’d never known the names of all the people within a single class, not since elementary school at least. She wondered if they remembered her, but then decided she didn’t care that the answer was probably a resounding no.

When Munson, Edward was called to the stage, Dottie and Gareth stood up to make as much noise as possible, both infinitely proud of the long haired boy with the charming eyes who was accepting the one piece of paper that had seemed so elusive all this time. Dustin and Erica hollered at him, and the rest of the Hellfire Club, still in line waiting to accept their diplomas, joined them in their antics. When Principal Higgins went in for a handshake, Eddie pulled him into a hug; the older man laughed and let it happen, a sort of fondness for the metalhead’s unwavering resilience present in their interaction. He accepted his medallion and his own honor cords for being the Chapter Leader of a student organization, and just before he climbed off, he approached the edge of the stage with a dazzling grin.

“Here it comes,” Dottie muttered, anticipating her boyfriend to give the middle finger to the entire town and bolt as he had declared he’d do on multiple occasions.

What Eddie did instead was find his Uncle in the crowd and bow deeply in his direction as people clapped for him like it was the end of a play. Wayne pretended to not be choking back tears as his nephew got off the stage, lips pursed behind his fingers trying to hide the grin threatening to break out on his face.

“Coward,” Gareth said, and Chrissy hit him in the shoulder.

There was no time for Eddie to do anything more but find his seat, because immediately after him came Patton, Jeffrey, and exactly ten names later, came Vitale, Donatello. The teachers laughed and cooed at his excited nephews jumping up and down the aisle, cheering for his favorite Uncle. One day in the not so distant future, they’d probably be handing them their diplomas too. Just how many faces in the crowd had walked through these same halls, attended the same classes, and some of them even had the same teachers as the Class of ‘86? A much younger and recently married O’Donnell, a Higgins as a History teacher prior to his Principal days, a Kaminski after his eldest son had just been born. Never before had the kids in the Hellfire Club felt as much part of the Hawkins High community as they did now - it almost felt unfair that they had to permanently leave the place to finally feel that way.

“And last, but certainly not least,” said Mrs. Chandler when there was only one person left to climb up the stage. “-Wheeler, Nancy, the valedictorian for the Class of 1986 who will say a few words for us and her fellow graduates after receiving her diploma.”

The crowd broke once again in loud applause as a red cheeked Nancy in her dark green gown and bright orange valedictorian stole greeted all her teachers with a few flashcards containing her speech in her hand. Karen Wheeler looked at her daughter with shiny eyes, infinitely proud of her little girl that’d grown into a smart, capable woman right in front of her. In a few months she’d be far away, following her dreams, and taking a piece of her mother’s hopes with her as she did so, but none of her fears. Holly raised her arms, silently asking to be lifted up so she could see better, and Karen picked up her youngest daughter, pointing at her big sister in the distance so she could wave at her. Nancy took her place behind the lectern and looked at the audience, a carefully put together mask over bittersweet eyes that Dottie had almost become used to seeing on her friend. If she stared into a mirror too deeply, she could recognize the dents in her skin of her own mask, now laying shattered at her feet.

“Honorable guests, Principal Higgins, Hawkins High School faculty, academic and supporting staff, friends, families, and graduates - good morning,”  Nancy began, voice soft but pleasantly clear. “It is with great pride that I stand here before you on such a special occasion to deliver this speech, which I promise I’ll try to keep short and sweet,” she lightheartedly smiled at her audience before she grew solemn once more. “However, before I start, I would like to ask you to join me in a moment of silence to commemorate the students and family members who could not be here today with us, and to remember the victims of the Starcourt Mall Fire on July 4th, 1985.”

Not a sound could be heard for a few heartbeats, and Dottie watched the faces of the town she’d come to love morph from amused to weary. There was real mourning here, a deep gash left open in a community that couldn’t heal properly because some wounds were just too deep to scab over. Eddie had told her everything he knew about what had happened, the official story everyone that hadn’t been involved in the tragedy repeated when asked, and her heart constricted when she saw Dustin and Erica in their seats with their heads down. They looked downright haunted. Steve sat next to them, watching over them with such turmoil in his eyes that Dottie had to wonder if there was something they were all missing about what happened. Had Steve also been in the mall with them? Had Robin, who was quietly sitting next to her like she was reliving a horror movie behind her eyes, her fingers absentmindedly tangling and untangling themselves in her honor cords?

Karen, sitting next to her unaware husband and emotionally closed off son, took a few deep breaths to keep her tears at bay and gently kissed Holly’s head before shifting her baby on her lap to hold her against her chest more tightly, like someone could snatch her off her arms at any given moment. Dottie twisted her mom’s engagement ring on her left middle finger and bit the inside of her cheek while blinking away the wetness gathering on her lash line. Not now, she scolded herself. Later.

“Thank you,” Nancy said, breaking the silence and moving onto her next flashcard. “Four years ago, we arrived at Hawkins High as children, and we are now leaving as young adults with our whole lives ahead of us. Some will go on to college, others will enter the workforce, but all of us will take the lessons learned here and let them guide us to become who we were always meant to be,” she turned to look to her side. “I'd like to thank our teachers for sharing their knowledge with us, for being patient and pushing us to achieve great things. With their help, our Hawkins High Mathletes reached their first ever state finals and brought home the silver medal earlier this year.”

There was a loud cheer coming from somewhere in the auditorium that sounded very much like Rick Stewart, exiting Captain of the Hawkins High Mathletes. Some people laughed goodnaturedly and joined in, the teachers clapping proudly at their labor being recognized. Nancy smiled and continued, knowing the applause would only get louder as she read the next part of her speech.

“I'd like to thank our coaches and counselors for making school more than just homework. You taught us about discipline, teamwork, and integrity, which led our basketball team to win the 1A North Central Conference Championship for the first time in 22 years,” the applause that followed was deafening, and it took several minutes for it to die down before Nancy could keep going. “I'd like to thank our families for supporting us in more ways that we could ever count, for chaperoning our dances and field trips, cheering for us at our sporting events, and attending all our plays with so much love and commitment, that our Drama Club was able to extend their winter run of West Side Story with a packed audience every night until their closure.”

The cheers this time were much more subdued, yet polite and sustained enough to not be embarrassing to the Drama Club members and their families in the audience. It was clear, however, where the town’s loyalties stood: Indiana’s love for basketball was known throughout the country, and Hawkins wasn’t the exception to the rule. Nancy looked at her graduating class and grabbed the last two flashcards in her pile.

“No one achieves success alone, and we are truly grateful for the help and guidance we’ve received during our years as Hawkins Tigers. However, if my classmates indulge me for a second, I’d like to ask each of you to think about a moment where you felt proud of yourself. Think about the things you’ve accomplished here, and the challenges you’ve overcome. A great woman by the name of Eleanor Roosevelt once wrote, you gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Our time as Hawkins High School students has come to an end. We did it, Class of ‘86. We did the thing we thought we couldn’t do, and we’ve learned that we can take the next thing that comes along, so keep moving forward. I’m proud of you, and I hope you are too. Thank you, and congratulations to us all.”

Dottie followed Nancy with her eyes as she shook Principal Higgins’ hand once more and left the stage towards her seat. Her hands were shaking lightly, and her lips were pursed, but she almost looked lighter, like she’d left significant weight behind that had nothing to do with public speaking related nerves. Nancy’s speech had been beautiful, there were no doubts about that, but it was strange to think about someone like her looking at her high school years as something that had been horrific to live through. She was popular enough to not have been bullied, pretty enough to have been desired and looked up to, smart and well-off enough to never have to worry about not fitting in.

High school was certainly hard for almost everyone, but the way Nancy had spoken about it left a familiar bitter taste in Dottie’s mouth. If Eddie had been right when retelling her the town’s recent strange happenings, Nancy had probably been thinking about her friend Barb when writing her speech. She would have most likely graduated alongside her, maybe she’d be headed to a nearby college where the two girls could still see each other often, or to a completely different one across the country and they’d have to call every weekend with updates on their new lives. Holland, Barbara should have been called up to the stage between Hall, Suzanne and Humphrey, Andrew, but now she was just another name added to the always-growing list of people who ought to have been there, but ultimately couldn’t be.

“Thank you for that inspiring speech, Miss Wheeler,” said Principal Higgins, returning to his place behind the lectern to close out the ceremony. “Graduating is an amazing achievement for these students, and we here at Hawkins High are excited to see the things they’ll accomplish in the future. By the authority vested in me by the Governor of the State of Indiana, Mr. Robert D. Orr, I confer the appropriate diplomas for the Class of 1986. Graduates, please move your tassels to the left,” he smiled at his now former students. “Congratulations Tigers, you can now throw your hats!”

As they had been instructed during rehearsals, they threw their hats directly above them, not wanting to lose them on the way down before they could take pictures with them but in the excitement and elation of the graduates, some caps ended up on the floor, prompting kids to search for the lost items under their chairs while their classmates cheered above them and congratulated one another. Dottie hugged Robin again while Principal Higgins said his goodbyes through the loudspeaker without anyone really hearing him, families eager to leave the auditorium and get into their cars quickly to avoid the inevitable bottleneck at the entrance of the parking lot.

“Thank you all for coming and being part of this special moment,” Higgins said, voice ringing above the loud chatter and scraping of chairs. “Please drive safe and have a good weekend!”

“Dad!” Dottie called upon seeing James talking to Gareth’s family near their cars. He waved at her in acknowledgment and she turned to her friend to say her goodbyes. “I’ll call you as soon as I have my new schedule down, okay? We can go to the movies some day!”

“I’m gonna go see family up North next week, but I’ll call you when I get back,” Chrissy said, arm still tangled with hers. “We have to go see the new Karate Kid coming out soon, Ralph Macchio is so cute.”

“I’m not even gonna correct you on that because I do wanna see it with you, but just know I think you’re crazy,” the brunette said, laughing at her friend.

“Well, excuse me, bad boys aren’t everyone’s type,” the blonde retorted, a secretive grin gracing her fairy-like features before she pulled her into a goodbye hug. “I’m gonna miss you!”

“We’ll see each other soon! You go have a great trip, forget about this boring town for a while.”

After the girls said their goodbyes and went in separate directions, Dottie watched Chrissy greet her family with curious eyes. She didn’t know much about the Cunninghams and was surprised to see that her newest and most unlikely friend had a little brother she had never mentioned before. He must have not been the right age to be in high school yet or he’d probably be under Jason’s overprotective wing, especially if he was athletic like his big sister.

Chrissy might have looked small and dainty, but there was a certain fierceness cheerleaders had in their step - their aura had been painstakingly trained to command a room and demand attention. And yet, Dottie noticed that as Chrissy turned from her unassuming Dad to her elegant Mother, the brightness she radiated seemed to dim ever so slightly, even if her charming smile stayed in place.

“There you are! I was looking for you everywhere,” James exclaimed, her thoughts instantly lost to the wind. “Congratulations, honey. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Dottie melted into his hug, knocking her cap even more askew with his shoulder. “They gave me honor cords, did you see? I didn’t know I had earned them!”

“I’m seeing them now! You worked so hard, good job.”

“Congratulations, sweetie!” Lydia, Gareth’s mom, said, pulling her into a hug. “Have you met Gretchen yet? Gare’s big sister?”

“Hey, congrats,” Gretchen said with a polite smile on her face.

“Thank you, hi! It’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Likewise,” Gretchen said, eyes sparkling with mischief as she saw Gareth approach with two more kids toddling behind him. “I’m always really curious to meet any girl who would even talk to my brother in the first place, but you seem normal enough.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Gareth said, and Erica snickered.

“Honestly, he’s lucky we’re nice to him,” the middle-grader joined in, making Gareth groan in annoyance.

“You’re my friend, you’re supposed to be on my side!”

“Congrats, Dot!” Dustin said, hugging the older girl from her right side, prompting Erica to cuddle up to her on the left. “We’re super proud of you.”

“Aw, Dus,” she pouted, leaning her head on his. He really was like the little brother she’d always wanted and never had. “Thank you, you’re so sweet. I’m happy you two could be here!”

“It was fun! We enjoyed it.”

“I saw you guys with that Steve guy earlier, did you come with him?”

“You know Steve?” Dustin said, curious.

“Yeah, he works at Family Video with Robin!” Dottie said.

“You know Robin?” it was Erica’s turn to ask.

“Uh, yeah, we’re classmates? She was sitting next to me throughout the ceremony- wait, how do you know them? What am I missing here?”

“Nothing! Steve’s, uh- Steve’s our babysitter!” Dustin hurried to say. “Did you know he used to date Nancy a while ago? That’s how we met, through Nancy. And we know Robin through Steve. Hawkins is a very small place.”

“W-what? Nancy and…”

“Yeah, she dumped him in front of everyone at a party and he’s been all mopey and sad since then,” Erica said, prompting Dustin to elbow her. “What? Just the facts!”

“Uh…,” Dottie looked at Gareth, dumbfounded.

“Anyway,” Dustin continued, aware that multiple eyes were on him. “He’s our babysitter.”

“Dustin, you’re fifteen,” Gareth laughed. “You’re a little old to still have a babysitter.”

“My Mom’s protective of me, okay? I’m an only child.”

“And he’s a good babysitter?” Dottie asked, amused.

“The best. Steve’s… yeah, Steve’s great. More like an older brother figure than a babysitter,” Dustin smiled, clearly fond of the older boy. “You should hang out with him, I think you’d like each other.”

“Stop. Just stop,” said Erica, knowing where Dustin was headed.

“What?” he shrugged, feigning innocence.

“Alright, let’s take some pictures!” said Lydia, not having paid any attention to the kids’ conversation.

While they were in the middle of taking photos, the remaining Hellfire Class of ‘86 joined the group with their respective families. Eddie snuck up behind Dottie while she was distracted taking a picture with Jeff and picked her up, arms encircling her middle and spinning her around while she giggled unabashedly, hands coming to rest on his forearms when he put her down but didn’t let go. Wayne had to hide a chuckle while he talked to the other parents; his nephew really wasn’t as smooth and mysterious as he thought he was, and Wayne had been around the sun too many times to not recognize what he was seeing between Eddie and his little lady friend. Gretchen, in turn, looked at Donny and lifted an eyebrow at him quizzically.

“What have I missed?” she quietly said, a smirk lifting the corner of her lips. She’d always liked Donny the best out of all his brother’s friends, and was aware that as much of a good confidant as he was, he never shied away from gossip.

“He said he wanted to wait until after graduation to ask her out so I don’t think anything has happened yet,” Donny muttered back, crossing his arms and leaning closer to her friend’s big sister. “They’re totally gone for each other, though.”

“You don’t say,” Gretchen said and turned to Erica who looked very interested in their conversation. “What do you think?”

“I think he’s too chicken to ask her out,” Erica laughed. “But they have been looking really cozy lately. That’s suspicious.”

“Eddie knows she’s into him,” Donny said, making Erica’s eyes widen. “Forgot to tell you about that.”

“You bastard, I thought we had a good thing going and you’re withholding information from me? Nuh-uh, this is betrayal. I want reparations.”

“Oh, she’s feisty,” Gretchen said.

“Come to the restaurant this weekend, I’ll give you ice cream and we can catch up and compare notes,” Donny offered, genuinely interested in keeping his friendship with the fiery younger girl intact. “But it has to be this weekend, Dot starts working with us on Monday.”

“How big is that ice cream?”

“Big as you want.”

“Deal,” she put out her hand for them to shake on it, but it was merely a formality - Donatello Vitale had no intentions of ever crossing the one and only Erica Sinclair again.

As families began saying their goodbyes and heading to their cars, it soon became clear that Eddie and Dottie did not want the festivities to end so fast. They’d already taken multiple photos with everyone and with each other, waved Dustin and Erica off as they climbed into Steve’s red BMW, and even said hello to the Wheelers, but they would just not leave each other’s side, always fluttering around one another no matter what was happening. If James thought anything strange about it, he didn’t mention it, but as Wayne looked at his nephew’s beaming smile, he realized he didn’t have the heart to cut his happiness short when there was such an easy solution to their problem.

“You two have any plans for lunch?” Wayne asked James, finishing up another smoke.

“Not really, no. I was thinking of picking up some burgers to celebrate. Why? You have any suggestions?”

“Well, me an’ Eddie like to go to the diner down on Randolph on special occasions. Thought you might want to join us,” he smiled at the kids who were now both staring at him expectantly.

“Can we go, Dad?” Dottie asked with hopeful eyes. “They have crinkle fries - you love crinkle fries!”

“That’s really kind of you, Wayne, but we don’t want to intrude,” James was saying, but Eddie hurried forward.

“You wouldn’t be intruding, sir. We both graduated today, we can celebrate together!”

“Come on, Dad, they wouldn’t ask if they didn’t want us there.”

Both older men looked at each other with knowing eyes and James sighed theatrically before conceding, his daughter cheering happily at the new impromptu plans. The teens quickly headed in the direction of their cars deep in their own happy little world; their parents amusedly looked as Eddie opened her door for her and helped her in while they talked about burger combinations and debated about their orders.

“Meet you there?” James asked Wayne, also getting into his car.

“You bet. Come on, boy, quit the yappin’. You’ll see her again in ten minutes, she’s not gonna run away from you!”

“Jesus Christ, Wayne!”

Eddie and Dottie had already been to the diner down on Randolph a few times; some of them before they’d begun dating and once after, but never with their parental figures as unofficial chaperones. The booth at the back they loved to sit at was occupied, so they chose a table near the front instead - the diner was bustling with energy as multiple families had had the same idea as them and got a headstart on their kids’ summer holidays. Eddie helped Dottie with her chair, thoroughly enjoying how shy she’d get whenever he did something remotely gentleman-like, and plonked himself next to her, quickly engaging in conversation about the menu she was holding. James had no option but to sit in front of his daughter as Wayne took the seat in front of Eddie, both of them also busying themselves with their own menus.

The teens tried to act normal in front of their elders, they really did, but it was such a lovely day, and they were celebrating one of the biggest achievements in their short lives that it was as if they’d forgotten that friends didn’t usually look so smitten with one another. Wayne took little peeks at them over the bright laminated piece of paper in his hands, catching how Eddie was stroking the side of her arm resting on the table with his pinky finger while she talked; he loudly coughed when James put his menu down and took his reading glasses off, the unexpected sound making them jump and separate instantly just in time for him not to see them. A young and friendly looking waitress approached their table, pad of paper and pen in her hand.

“Hi! Are you ready for me to take your order or are we waiting for the wives to arrive?” she said with a perfect customer-service smile. Dottie blinked up at her twice, her face morphing into a blank expression.

“No, thank you, it’s just gonna be us four today,” James said politely.

Today, he’d said. Like Margaret and Maureen were off doing other things, like working or shopping or attending a jazzercise class, and couldn’t join them for lunch but they’d probably be around later. Like they weren’t gone forever. Like they were still alive. Nancy’s speech rattled around in Dottie’s brain, her eyes glazing over and her ears filling with invisible cotton. James and Wayne ordered their food, and Eddie ordered for both himself and her, very much aware that something was bothering her. Her sight was stuck to her Dad’s hand resting on the cheap laminate tabletop. The gold band that had been there on his finger since Margaret and him had said I do all those years ago taunted her, glinting under the fluorescent lights of the diner. They’d promised each other forever, and what did they get? What did she get?

“Dot,” Eddie muttered, hand sneaking down the table to settle on the exposed skin of her knee. “Darling, can you hear me?”

“Huh?” she turned to look at him in a daze.

Behind him, there was a table where a family sat: a father, a mother and a daughter, barely older than she’d been when she’d lost the most important woman in her life. The baby gurgled in her Mom’s arms, and the woman cooed at her, noses nuzzling against each other’s. Dottie turned her head towards the other side of the diner where a mother was cleaning up a little boy’s face, chocolate staining his chubby cheeks.

She had just graduated from high school and her mother wasn’t there. She hadn’t been there when she got her first period, during her first heartbreak, or when she won a spelling bee at age seven. She wouldn’t be there when she graduated college, when she got her first job, when she got married to the boy who was holding onto her leg with worried eyes. She would never be there, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. It was always going to be just them.

“Honey, are you okay?” James asked, leaning forward.

“I-I’m sorry,” she managed to get out before she stood up and bolted outside and into the parking lot, her chair scraping against the floor in her haste to get out of the diner.

“I’ve got it, sir,” Eddie said before he sped after her, his chains rattling with every long step he took to catch up with her.

In silence, James and Wayne watched their kids through the huge windows next to their table. When Dottie saw Eddie running behind her, she turned her back on him, hugging herself as she tried to keep her emotions together. She lifted a hand to wave at him over her shoulder and said something - probably that she was okay, that she didn’t need help so he should go back in - but as he came closer, it was evident that the storm that had been brewing inside her all morning was on the brink of overtaking her. All it took was feeling his hand hovering on her shoulder for her knees to buckle as she folded onto herself, Eddie instantly rushing forward to catch her and pulling her into his chest, her back rising up and down violently as she sobbed into his graduation gown. He chewed on his lower lip as he held himself together, never one to cry in public where people could see him and judge him for it. He muttered something into her hair, his chin resting onto the crown of her head, gently rocking her side to side as her sobs subsided.

“She was really lonely until we came here, y’know,” James said, breaking the quiet that had fallen on their table. Wayne could only look at his nephew, the gentleness he’d always known he’d possessed perfectly on display. “All her new friends are great to her but Eddie… you’ve got a good boy there, Wayne.”

“They’re both good kids,” Wayne said, matter-of-factly. “It’s a damn shame they’re so young and been through so much already.”

“Yeah, it is.”

In the parking lot, unaware that they were being watched, Dottie lifted her head from Eddie’s chest, an embarrassed smile on her lips as she fanned her face with her hands in an attempt to dry her tears without ruining what was left of her mascara. Eddie, still holding onto her, blew on her cheeks; she laughed, heart feeling equally heavy and light at the same time. There was joy and levity to be found in shared grief, that was something new she had learned from him.

“Sometimes I feel like Eddie understands her better than I do,” James admitted, fingers toying with his wedding band.

“They understand each other in ways that you and I never will,” Wayne mused. “That ain’t a bad thing. Actually, I think it might be healthy.”

“Mhm,” James agreed, half lost in his own thoughts.

Dottie squeezed Eddie one last time like she was mentally preparing herself, gathering strength for whatever came next, and nodded once to let him know that it was okay to let her go. Eddie followed her inside quietly, holding the door open for her as they filed in and sat once again at their table. They both looked very tired, and perhaps even a little bit flustered at having to face their guardians after bolting out of the diner so unexpectedly. Dottie leaned forward to grab a napkin to blow her nose.

“M’sorry,” she said, eyes low. James grabbed her hand gently.

“You okay, honey?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. S��just a lot, you know?”

“I know,” her Dad said, watching her glance at Eddie next to her.

“Can I… is it okay if Eddie and I go to the lake after lunch?” she asked, shy. “We want to burn some cards.”

“Yeah, of course,” James said, knot tightening at the base of his throat and fingers tangling with his daughter’s.

Eddie was silent through the entire interaction, hands hellbent on shredding the paper napkin in front of him to minuscule pieces. Wayne could feel their table shake as he bounced his leg frantically, something he had long understood as his nephew’s tell when holding back tears. The waitress, unaware of what had just transpired, came back at that moment with their drinks and two milkshakes for the teens. Dottie smiled at them with wet eyes, and Eddie had the indecency to look sheepish: she hadn’t mentioned to him she wanted one, but he knew she loved strawberry milkshakes from this specific diner because they made them with real strawberry ice cream and not the powder. He must have ordered them when she blanked out. The simple gesture felt like balm for her anguished soul.

“Well, I’d like to propose a toast,” Wayne said, dissipating the remaining uncomfortable tension at their table. “To the Class of ‘86.”

“To the Class of ‘86,” James joined him, clicking their bottles of Coke together in the air.

Food arrived shortly after, and as an easy conversation sanded whatever edges were still sharp for the moment, Wayne observed the tender behavior of the kids sitting in front of him. It wasn’t as playful as it had been before, no, this felt much more… intimate. Considerate. Muted, yet still softhearted. Not missing a beat in the story she was telling to her Dad, Dottie grabbed the cherry on top of her milkshake and left it on top of Eddie’s. He gave her a toothy grin before popping it into his mouth, and she shook her head at him fondly. Yeah, this ain’t a bad thing at all, thought Wayne, taking a bite out of his food and laughing along with James at the ridiculous gossip Dottie and Eddie were sharing about their now former classmates.

“Okay, hold on a second before you run off,” Wayne said, as his nephew ushered his friend towards his van.

After lunch was done, it was decided that Wayne would drive Eddie and Dottie back to their trailer so they could get Eddie’s van and head to the lake for what they were calling The Card Ritual. The eldest Munson didn’t really understand what it meant, but it seemed that James knew what they were talking about so he didn’t ask too many questions about it - all he knew was that the kids were going to buy some cards at Melvald’s and then burn them, and that Dottie was emotional over the whole thing. If burning some paper brought peace to her heart, then who was Wayne to judge? He’d indulged in far more destructive coping mechanisms throughout his youth, evidenced by his unshakeable smoking habit.

After they’d said goodbye to James, they climbed into Wayne’s truck and headed to Forest Hills, graduation caps, gowns, and his suit jacket now discarded into the backseat. The heat kept rising in the early afternoon and Wayne just wanted to get out of his clothes, drink a glass of icy cold water, and take a nap in his undergarments next to his trusty fan, but he felt like there was a pressing conversation to be had before he went in and could finally relax on his day off.

“What’s up?” Eddie asked, Dottie coming to a stop next to him.

“I just gotta know, kid,” Wayne turned to her. “Does your Dad know about you two or do I have to play dumb with him?”

“W-what? What do you mean?” she asked, nervously.

“I may not be young, but I ain’t blind, sweetheart,” he smiled. “You’re not in trouble, I just wanna know how to act around your old man, that’s all.”

“He doesn’t know,” Eddie muttered, grabbing Dottie’s hand and surprising her with how quickly he confessed. “No one knows, we haven’t told anyone yet.”

“Except Chrissy,” Dottie said.

“Except Chrissy,” he conceded. “She knows because I asked her for advice, but she’s the only one.”

“How long?”

“Huh?”

“How long has this been going on?” Wayne asked, pulling his lighter out of his pocket.

“Uh, like two weeks? We’re not, like- we’re not official yet,” Eddie scratched his neck uncomfortably.

“Not offi- Edward,” his Uncle hardened his stare. “I taught you better than that.”

“Shit, I swear I was gonna do it today! Wanted to wait until after graduation, I’m not trying to be a flake-”

“It’s okay! We talked about it,” Dottie said, hanging onto his arm. “I don’t mind waiting, we just thought it’d be best to keep it a secret for now,” Wayne turned to look at her, wary. “Mr. Wayne, please, I’d announce it at the next Town Hall meeting if he’d let me.”

“We share all the same friends,” Eddie explained. “They’ll wanna know all the details, and I just- she breaks up with me and I’m the biggest loser in Hawkins, you know how those assholes are.”

“Oh my god, stop calling yourself a loser!” she whined.

“Don’t break up with me, and I won’t be!” he argued back, but it was clear he was being silly about it.

“Okay, so what’s the situation here? You two dating or not?” Wayne asked, getting back on topic.

“Yeah,” Eddie said, smiling down at her with hearts in his eyes. “We’re dating. I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend officially later today but I might as well do it now since you’re so nosy.”

“It’s not like anything’s changing anyways,” Dottie said. “We just didn’t put a label on it, but I’ve kinda been his girlfriend since that party we went to a couple of weeks ago.”

“Hell yeah you are. And I’m your boyfriend, right?”

“No, you’re my private driver,” she deadpanned. “Of course you are, Eddie, what kind of question is that?”

“Just making sure, darling,” Eddie said, and Wayne snorted at how smug his nephew looked.

“Well, then… you two can go now, I guess. I’ll keep the secret.”

“Thanks, Mr. Wayne,” Dottie said, coming to hug him. “We’ll tell people soon, we just want a little bit of privacy for now. The guys can be so nosy sometimes.”

“Don’t I know that, kid,” he chuckled. “I’m real happy for you two.”

“I’m really happy too,” she whispered to him, a bashful smile on her face.

Eddie finally let her into his van, her white sundress and summery sandals a stark contrast against his ripped jeans and chains. They were an odd couple if one only looked at their clothes, but it was so clear that they vibrated at the same frequency that Wayne couldn’t help but think that he should have expected this development sooner. He didn’t know why he’d chosen to believe them when they’d said nothing had happened between them the night of the party. His nephew went towards the driver’s seat when he called to him again.

“Ed, a word,” he was dead serious as Eddie jogged to where he was standing.

“Yeah?”

“You treat that girl right, okay?” Wayne said, voice low so she wouldn’t hear from the van. “I don’t wanna hear shit from her Dad about you bein’ stupid with her.”

“I know.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not gonna fuck this up, Wayne. I love her,” Eddie told him, so sure of what he was saying that it knocked the wind out of his Uncle’s lungs for a bit.

“Love, huh?” Wayne laughed softly, and Eddie shrugged with red ears but looked so very happy. “Go, have fun. And take care of her.”

“I will,” he nodded.

“I’m proud of you, son,” Wayne said, ruffling his hair roughly like when he was just a boy barely taller than his own hip. “And your Momma would be too.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, eyes full of unshed tears. “I’m proud of me too.”

taglist: @munsonology @kurdtbean @every1lovesanunderdog @eg-dr3amer3

[enniewritesathing]

memory management (reason)

⏮️Previous || (📚Previous Stories) || Beginning ▶️

(John sits up and tries to scoot away but The Werewolf is right there, staring him down to dare him to do anything else. He's gotten bigger since the last time they met.)

John: "D... dying? I don't understand--what's happening? One second I'm here, next I black out, and the next thing I know, you're here..."

(The Werewolf growls low again.) "I'll cut to the chase. I have to take over or we'll both die."

John: "Take over--?"

"What the fuck? I'm not going to let you! I don't even know how you even got here!"

The Werewolf: "Story of the goddamn century! Get it through your thick skull; I have to take over or else we'll die. Don't argue with me; we can do that later!"

(John shakes his head.) "How do I know this isn't a trick? A trick to lock me out?"

"That door... I didn't make it. It's too simple. How did you do it?"

(The Werewolf stands up.) "I don't know, but I could not open it myself. You still have control."

John: "You haven't answered my question! How do I know this isn't a trick?!"

The Werewolf: "You wanna know? Fine. Maybe this will get through to you."

John: "What--"

(Breathlessness takes him and John finds himself gasping for air.)

(His chest tightens.)

(He hears beeping. It's uneven. A long pause. It continues at a slower pace, spaced out. Voices murmuring. Third time... third time of what? He feels hands on him, pinning him down by his shoulders and arms. Where... where is this? )

(John shakes his head again. His heart feels like it's going to stop any moment. He looks up at The Werewolf to ask him what was he doing to him? Why?)

(The Werewolf jabs a clawed finger in the air, pointing in no discernable direction.) "That's your answer. What's happening out there is that there are people who are killing us as we speak!"

"I don't know if you've been aware or not... they're trying to figure out if it's possible to reverse the transformation. If they succeed somehow... there's a chance that..." (He doesn't want to say it. But he has to. It's now or never.)

"There's a chance that I'll be locked out permanently, or worse. I... I don't want that."

(John stands up. He staggers and steadies himself in front of The Werewolf, breathless.) "I don't want to turn into a monster and god knows what else."

The Werewolf: "How rich of you! You risk both of our lives for that stupid reason? And what evidence do you have of that, huh?"

John: "I..."

(He pauses.)

(The Werewolf looks on at John with disdain in his eyes.) "Are you that willing to go that far? To what end? For what?"

"You put absolute trust in these people's hands. Why is that? What did they promise you? That you'd have a way to control me as long as you lived; to do that, you'd have to be in their care? What lies did they speak about me this whole time?

"What makes you think I'm a monster?"

John: "Stop."

The Werewolf: "No. You have to see my way or I will make you; I've done it once and I'll do it again. I want you to listen and see what's happening to us right now. Maybe you'll get it."

(John looks up as he hears the voices again.) "The hell is that?"

// Next ⏭️

[littlemissprettyprincess]

This is for everyone who seems to be "struggling" with states + what I can suggest + My success story.

-Have you ever been one of those people to reach "that moment" in manifestation where you wanted to be, even if you have never either it doesn't matter. You know how much of an outsider and annoyed/obsessive over loa when seeing other people succeed and couldnt really find what would work for me. Sounds like you, huh? You are not the only one, I'll tell you exactly how to get out of there + master your manifesting skills and a bit of self-concept.

The. answer. is. staring. right. at your face.............................................Yes.

"But anon, wdym by that??" What I mean is that notice how all of these people who post their success stories are in the state of easy/effortless manifestation. Like they mention how easy it is and how effective it is. Thats because of their state, they chose to occupy the state of someone who does the bare minimum in loa and still gets wtf they want. It doesnt matter how many times you repeat your affs, persist, mental diet, you wanna know why you waste energy doing that? Is because your occupying the state of "difficult manifesting", meaning you obsess over it, you try so hard but "nothing" comes, you feel you need to do the most to get it. Notice how all of these points I made fall under the state of "difficult manifestation"?? if you were in that state, those things I just mentioned would've been what you experience. Why?? BECAUSE YOU OCCUPIED THE STATE OF SOMEONE WHO ISNT SUCCESSFUL IN MANFESTING!!!

A thing I def reccomend when using states to manifest is to understand the 4D IS THE TRUE REALITY AND NOT THE 3D. Yes I know you're tired of hearing the same thing but now that you have a shifted paradigm on states, it should be easier. What I did was know that the 4d is the blueprint, kind of put it on the pedestal but not in the negative way. It was a way where I didn't ignore the 3d and affirm against it, but focused on my 4d and stuck with it. Because "ignoring the 3d and affirming agains it" simply implies that your 3d is filled with undesirable things and you affirm against it.

Cause trust me I've been there when I say living in my 4d was making me crazy, but you know why it did? Was because I looked at the 3d for validation/ didnt trust what my 4d is saying. It's kind of like y'know when you like a guy/girl and your friend warns you to stay away from that person but you get annoyed at them because you think what they're saying is bullshit?? Same thing applies. If you dont trust your 4d and realise it creates the 3d and is so much more powerful than what you experience, when will living in the end ever be a fullfilling thing to do? Get it? "Fullfilled" LMFAOO I'm so hilarious, but enough of my corny jokes. Heres a summary

-Be in the state of someone who is a master at manifesting/self concept etc.

-Know that your 4d creates everything, when its done in your 4d, its done in 3d, a simple way to put this is just live in your mind because when you realise that, you change your imagination, you change your reality and there is so much power in knowing that.

-ANNDDD THENNN you can apply everything else like persisting, repeating affs etc.

I got perfect self-concept doing this, like I got compliments today and I felt so confident, I love the way I'm so pretty, like why am I so perfect and gorgeous?

I manifested many straight niggas to like me at my school (im black and gay) let me tell you!!! a nigga stopped and walked back and stared at me to see "Damn who is that??" I was laughing so hard.

Overall my life has improved, I get things to go my way and yeah. thats about my successes. I might start a blog but because of how disrespectful anons are Idk if I should.

-tysm lovies, stay hot nd mysterious, and know how powerful you are!!!! stop wavering!!!!!

omg, thank you so much for sharing this ! i hope this helps some people ! ♡

[zamstarr]

Okay hear me out... i was listening to Marina today and i found a lot of songs that were Velvet and Veneer coded, i found this one to be the more relatable to them

Velvet: Pink | Veneer: Green

I was pulling out my hair

The day I got the deal, chemically calm

Was I meant to feel happy

That my life was just about to change?

One life pretending to be

The cat who got the cream

Oh, everybody said, "Velvet is a dreamer"

People like to tell you

What you're gonna be is not my problem if you don't see what I see

And I do not give a damn if you don't believe

My problem is my problem that I never am happy

It's my problem, it's my problem on how fast I will succeed

Are you satisfied with an average life?

Do I need to lie to make my way in life?

High achiever, don't you see?

Baby, nothing comes for free

They say I'm a control freak

Driven by a greed to succeed

Nobody can stop me

'Cause it's my problem if I wanna pack up and run away

It's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway

It's my problem, it's my problem if I feel the need to hide

And it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die

Are you satisfied with an average life?

Do I need to lie to make my way in life?

Are you satisfied with an easy ride?

Once you cross the line will you be satisfied?

Sad inside, in this life

Unsatisfied, praying

Sad inside, in this life

Unsatisfied, waiting

Are you satisfied with an average life?

Do I need to lie to make my way in life?

Are you satisfied with an easy ride?

Once you cross the line will you be satisfied?

Black, white (Are you satisfied, are you satisfied?)

Black, white (Are you satisfied, are you satisfied?)

Black, white (Are you satisfied, are you satisfied?)

Black, white (Are you satisfied, are you satisfied?)

[yooniesim]

So, I got this pretty gross anon last night, right. And me being me, on reflex I start answering it, I go through each part, etc. And then all of a sudden I look up and realize, it's late, I'm tired, and I spent almost an hour writing this reply. I said to myself, dude, what in the fuck are you doing? Why are you wasting your time again? Are you really going to post this vitriol, knowing this person likely doesn't give a flying fuck what you have to say anyway, and their bigoted words could hurt your followers that see it? You know better than this. I just reblogged something yesterday about not dignifying bullshit with a response, and there I was doing just that. The anon was already blocked, so I deleted my post I started. And it felt damn good.

Instead, I think I'm gonna say some of the more important things I was thinking about in a more general way. Cos there are a few things I wanna lay down so there's no misunderstanding or any hope that I will do anything different in the future.

First and foremost. From this point on, I won't be accepting or answering any opinions on who or what I am, identity wise. the fact of the matter is, you don't define who or what someone is. you don't tell me what I am, I tell you, and you either accept it as the truth or you leave. your opinion doesn't determine my reality and never will. I'm at the stage of my life where I'm simply not entertaining any bullshit from observers any longer. I will call myself whatever I please and speak on whatever I feel I should as the person I am & the life I've lived, and you will either deal with that or you just won't be around me. period. the block button is my friend now, and I've taken on the mentality that if I block you, you just don't exist to me anymore. you live your life, I live mine, I just never look at your blog or acknowledge you again. any mature person would do the same.

Secondly, I recently mentioned my features (lips, nose, etc) because I wanted to emphasize I am proud of them despite being mocked my whole life for having them. I've even been mocked for them on here in a bigoted manner because like I said before, my pics have been posted plenty. and there was just a debacle recently with a simblr mocking thick lips, because anti-blackness is a constant undercurrent in simblr. that's why I mentioned them. I emphasized that because I want everyone to know that I'm not ashamed of who I am and never will be, despite the fact that some on here fight tooth and nail to try to make me feel I'm somehow less worthy. they will never succeed with me, but I don't want anyone else to feel ashamed of themselves for how they look either. these features are beautiful and worth being proud of and uplifted.

Finally, I'm going to say again: to all my poc followers, mixed or not, you're worthy, and you should be proud of yourselves too. don't let opinions from terminally online people with no actual life experience cause you any shame about who you are. who your parents are, your genetics, your percentages, it don't matter I couldn't give any less of a fuck. you tell me who you are and your struggles and your pain, and I believe and support you. I'm in your corner, and I can only hope I can give back half the love I've been given during this time. You're valid and your voices are important. That's the most important thing I wanted to say, and if this subject comes up again, that's what I will emphasize repeatedly.

[monstersinthecosmos]

god what voltron episode(s) should i rewatch. and what to look out for

sdjgklasd gosh idk recently I've rewatched the second half of S2 a few times, from the BOM Trial to Shiro's disappearance because I want to like really nail down the timeline and make it make sense. I am also just studying Keith like he's a bug.

Full disclosure that I actually haven't watched the entire series all the way through except for the first time, I mostly just watch The Sheith Movie, but sometimes I wanna zoom out and see the bigger context of the episode, or see some of the Keith scenes that The Sheith Movie didn't include. Like Hunk & Keith's mission for scaultrite in the next episode and the fallout between Allura and Keith when she realizes he's part Galra and starts treating him like shit!

I love watching the way he gets frustrated by everyone making a big deal about it, especially after the emotional climax of the Trial was him accepting himself and deciding he knows who he is--it leads him to learn something HUGE about himself, but he stays steadfast in "I'm still me" afterwards, and doesn't want anyone to make a big deal about it. Like, Hunk is teasing him a little but still friendly and still accepts him, but Keith doesn't even want to talk about it, vs Allura who sort of affirms all his fears by judging him and icing him out.

And even after all that, leading into their big fight with Zarkon, they know this could be it, that if they succeed the war could be over, and he thinks it might be a good time to go find his family. There's something, HMM!, kinda twisty & crunchy about this concept to me, about KNOWLEDGE OR DEATH, and kinda feels a little bit DBT-ish to me, sort of radical acceptance, realizing his sense of self and learning to be okay with it, but also open to the quest for knowledge. Like "I am me, for all the faults and bullshit and trauma, my dad died and I never knew my mom and Shiro saved me" IS A COMPLETE PACKAGE, that's who Keith is! He accepts it! It's no longer "I don't know who I am because people abandoned me and I can't be myself unless I can find this nebulous external validation." So anyway. Yes, he's Keith, he's himself, this is it, YOLO, whatever, but. He is still open to the knowledge of finding his family.

The BOM Trial episode is really so so good though. It's like such an incredible battle for him to accept his identity and the truth of his lived experience, all the while TRIANGULATED BETWEEN HIS THREE FATHER FIGURES, i mean is it an accident that he passes out in the penis hallway?

(last time I raved about this, I had to look it up to grab the picture LOL)

also SOMETHING SOMETHING Shiro fully connecting with the idea that Zarkon used to be the Black Paladin and how really facing his trauma and accepting it head on GETS HIM KILLED. lmao i have to lie down.

[jellybeanium124]

xxx

I'm angry in this one btw. real properly angry. I don't wanna talk about this because I know some of y'all are thiiiiis close to blocking me for not falling in line and being a good little jew and repeating the slogans thoughtlessly, but I'm so mad and scared and nobody cares at all and I wanna shut up about it so I don't lose all my goyische friends but I can't I just can't.

hm maybe people are being arrested because there is some violence and this is terrifying jewish students?? and I think the author of this article is way too kind to these students. they hail hamas as heroes. they don't think the innocent civilian hostages should be released for the crime of being israeli. they champion themselves as being antiracist when ANTISEMITISM IS AN ETHNIC PREJUDICE YOU DUMB FUCKING CHAZERS!!!

jews are terrified.

rabbis are telling us to stay home.

whenever there's an "assembly" on the uni I live by, I'm terrified it'll turn violent. I'm terrified they'll burn down or deface the clearly labelled building where the jewish org lives.

I stopped wearing my magen david because I'm terrified of my peers, my peers who are supposed to be inclusive and love everyone regardless of ethnicity, seeing that I'm jewish and harassing me or worse.

the average college campus is less safe for jews than it has been in decades.

the optics of your movement are shit. you're infested with jew haters, and no one seems to care!! no goy cares, because you all care more about hating israel than not hating jews. and hating israel turns into hating jews so, so quickly. I want palestine to be a free nation. I want this war to end. but none of you understand that as long as hamas exists peace cannot happen. none of you understand that if you hate israelis you're a fucking antisemite lol sorry. if you want every israeli dead, you want half the world's jews dead. if you don't think that makes you an antisemite, lemme give you another example. let's say you want all black americans dead (not all black people are american, in fact, less than half the world's black population are in america). are you racist? YES. same fucking logic here.

saw a video the other day where some dumbfuck was like "have you considered that all hamas knows is oppression and hatred? 🥺" THESE ARE GROWN ADULTS!! YOU RACIST FUCKING INFANTILIZING FUCKING IDIOT!! THEY ARE GROWN ADULT HUMANS AND YOU ARE TREATING THEM LIKE BABIES AND CLAIM TO BE ANTIRACIST??? if you see POC as too innocent to be bad, then you are falling for the noble savage stereotype all over again. has that stereotype historically been attributed to arab people? no. but it definitely fucking is now with the way y'all think rape and terrorism is excusable.

none of you fucking idiots see anyone involved as full humans because none of you have a goddamn piece in it. you see palestinians as innocent babies who could never rape or hurt anyone, and you see israelis as demons to be exterminated. you're racist, you're hateful, you're not helping anything, and I hope you will one day be so, so ashamed of the fear you've instilled in jews worldwide while seeing them as genociding monsters regardless of ties to israel or anything, as well as the myopic infantilizing racist way you view arab people.

and one last thing: "FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA" IS ANTISEMITIC. IT'S A SLOGAN ENDORSED BY HAMAS. IF YOU ARE CHANTING THAT OVER AND OVER AND OVER GUESS WHAT YOU'RE HAVING AN ANTISEMITIC PROTEST, SORRY. you can't reclaim that slogan, it is calling for the destruction of israel, which will lead to jewish genocide, or just a massive jewish refugee crisis if they're lucky and hamas doesn't succeed in their goal of exterminating the jews.

[yuridovewing]

The entire cast of power of three: wow, I sure am glad that Crowfeather isn't my father. He doesn't seem to love Breezepaw at all and is consistently kinder to cats he would normally consider enemy combatants.

WC fans: well you see, Breezepelt deserved the abuse because he tried to kill a pregnant woman and a nun! Crowfeather was just heartbroken and upset he had to settle for Nightcloud. (Nightcloud is the one who settled, let's be real here)

I roll my eyes whenever someone brings up Breeze's attempted murders, the guy never even succeeds! Nevermind his abusive father and dark forest manipulations. If we're going to condemn cats for just trying to kill someone in the cats killing each other series, can we look at how Fireheart chased poor Whitethroat into the road amd got him hit by a car because he thought a sickly, scared cat killed Runningwind

oh and crowfeather being so so sad over his manpain is such a unique circumstance in fiction and no one else in wc or all of fiction has ever experienced manpain, there’s just something so mesmerizing about how women keep suffering and dying for him that you cant help but absolve him from taking it out on others. when he beats breezepelt i black out and see him sobbing over leafpool i mean feathertails corpse, and because i subsequently can’t see the passage then i cant accept it as canon, and as we all know, manpain absolves you from child abuse anyways. maybe when breezepaw experiences manpain…. then he’ll understand an iota of daddy’s pain

ok but no for real, i dont quiiite wanna say its ok that breezepelt did all that cause “he didnt even succeed” (im sorry but that was an ashfur defense back in the day and i cant take it seriously djdjdjh) but it is a bit annoying that people use “you cant defend or like this character because murder” when this is the murder cat series. like itd be one thing if breezepelt was defended in canon for that, but he isnt. hes a minor antagonist, the series knows that and you’re supposed to see him as a monster for that scene. his redemption is clumsy as all hell but his crimes are still very much considered crimes. like you said, if we’re gonna insist he cant be defended ever bc of that or granted redemption or anything, then we also gotta discard most of the main characters. like lionblaze.

i cant refuse any breezepelt discussion or defense based on the fourth apprentice when clear skys over here murdering women and getting his toes gently suckled for it every tuesday.

[38sr]

#industyQs

How realistically easy/hard is it to get a job in animation (say as a storyboard artist) if you genuinely work hard and do everything to make connections, get profolio reviews, ext? I see some people saying it’s extremely hard and some saying it’s isn’t that bad if you network and work hard. Overall just really scared to make the jump and fully commit to animation with the time and money it takes, and risk ending up not in the field for all of that.

Oh, hm, this is a bit of a real question. So before we begin I want to preface that what I say in this post is purely from my personal experience. By no means is the absolute and everyone's experience working in animation. Every person's path is different and will have a different story. Including you, Anon. What I say hear isn't something you should take as the only true gospel of breaking into animation because your experience will inherently be different from mine (which is good 'cause I hope you don't have face the struggles I had to and that you're able to succeed in life). If you wanna read more about the specifics of how I broke into animation (sorry it's a two part story), you can check that out in this previous ask. And with that, let's answer your question.

How realistically easy/hard is it to get a job in animation (say as a storyboard artist) if you genuinely work hard and do everything to make connections, get portfolio reviews, etc? I apologize if this comes of scary or anxiety-inducing: I don't know. It's something that's not really quantifiable even with hard work, networking, and portfolio reviews accounted for. As I stated before, everyone's path is different with various twists and turns. I've worked with people who are high school dropouts and are directing positions, people who went back to art school after building a family as designers, board artists, etc. I even worked with people who went to school for medicine or engineering (some even graduate school) and pivoted their whole careers past 30 years old.

There are people who take a month long course and get hired the next month. There are people who study all their life and don't break until years after graduation. There are people who "start late" (I believe it's never too late to start) and get jobs a couple years into their career journey. I'm firm believer of hard work pays off but at times it may fall a bit short because you might not be the right fit. It's happened to me many times when I knew I was qualified for a job but I didn't fit the show's tone/sensibilities. Sometimes there are forces completely out of your control that can never be quantified (like a show's tone) and are the reason why you don't get the job. Or even if you do have a job. I thought I set with job security at Marvel, but then I got laid off. It wasn't because me or my crew were horrible at our jobs. It was forces out of our control that we did not foresee/plan. Even though the crew was the right fit for the production, our production wasn't the right fit for Chapek's plans at that time. So...we had to find new work.

This isn't only about animation, but life in general. It's always a risk to make a decision to invest into something. Whether it's your time, money, love, mental health, physical health and so on. We all never know if the thing we invest ourselves in is ever 100% going to work out. I understand that fear of jumping into the unknown and things not paying off. When I decided to pursue animation as a kid, I became painfully aware of the fact that there weren't a lot of people like me that get to be showrunners/creators. I'm a black, Puerto-Rican, indigenous, queer woman and I saw no one like that in the animation space back then (whether on screen or behind the scenes). So it was scary to take a leap into that when I consciously knew that the cards were stacked against me. I didn't wanna waste my parents money on going to art school or my time of doing numerous still life paintings all for nothing. But that was a risk I took. And years later now working in animation, do I still feel that anxiety? Of course. I'm not going to sit here and lie that I don't feel anxious about what's the next job, if there is a job, or even when I'm on the job. But I still continue to take that risk 'cause I love animation wholeheartedly. While it's not a bad idea to weigh out your options, I personally think it's also okay to take a gamble on something you feel strongly about. I can sit here and say what if for hours on end and never start. Or, I can stop getting in my own way and do the thing I love regardless of the outcome. I rather take the shot and miss knowing that I put in the effort rather than not trying at all and ultimately missing the shot.

I hope for you, Anon, in this moment in where you feel a bit conflicted that you hear that it's okay to take that leap of faith. Maybe this is too sentimental, but I think that's what makes it so worthwhile in the end. Whether it works out or not, you still walk away with a learning experience and new found knowledge about yourself from going through those struggles. And you can take that experience into the step of your life feeling a bit less anxious about taking another leap of faith. I don't know how hard or easy it will be for you to break into animation. It could be 2 years, 5 years, 4 weeks, 8 months or even tomorrow. But if you never start, how will you know if it was never truly possible? At least for me, I'd like for you to take that jump haha. I hope that answered your question and I hope I didn't scare you about the reality of finding work in animation. The first one will always be the hardest one but it does get easier over time. As much as I would love to give a concrete ultimate breakdown of how to break in animation, it's a different experience for everyone. I just hope your experience will be filled with twists and turns that help you grow and enjoy your time working in animation!

[dragon-snoots-a-boopin]

So, it has been awhile since I've talked about my adventures through the various Arrowverse TV show so, here's an update. The last time I posted it was about the final season of Supergirl and how I did not like the ending and before that it was about the final season of Black Lighting and how I was glad that was over too. I just want to give my opinions on these shows and how they ended.

Well, since then, I have finished watching Batwoman and Legends Of Tomorrow, with The Flash not too far behind and I wanna talk about them.

Batwoman: Now, I'll admit that this is didn't have the length if other shows like Legends Of Tomorrow, Arrow, or Flash did to really get bad. But, I still did not like the ending and that because they didn't really wrap up things at all because they just kind of left off with some creature attacking people and that was it. Then, she shows up again in an episode of The Flash when they're dealing with Red Death and she makes absolutely no mention of anything from the ending of Batwoman. It's kind of similar to how Arrow ends with William getting kidnapped in the final episode. Mia then shows up in an episode of The Flash stating that she's still looking for William so, all that time since the end of Arrow and we still have no idea what happened to William. Yes, I know that there was some sort of spin off show that got canceled but they should not have banked on that going forward to answer the question of William's fate, much like the Batwoman crew should not have banked on another season to deal with the creature we see in the last episode. Easy to say that while Batwoman didn't really

Legends Of Tomorrow: Yeah, I am more than happy that Legends is over and done with, you have no idea. I swear that across three to four seasons I kept asking myself why I was still watching so, yeah, I am so relieved to be done. This show just had not been good since like season three which in itself was not a great season but, the show never really recovered from that and only grew worse and worse with each subsequent season. The problem here though is that, like Arrow and Batwoman, Legends did not have a conclusive final episode. The second to last episode was a decent wrap up with the Legends accepting that they have to retire from being heroes, go back to their normal timelines and move on with their lives and that should have been the last episode of the show. Sadly, they went with on with one more episode where, not only did we get a cliffhanger ending that will never be resolved but, they also introduced the character of Booster Gold. Now, what's funny to me is that there is a tweet from one of the showrunners for Legends saying that introducing Booster Gold was meant to excite the audience and also intended to save Legends from getting canceled because both Warner Bros and DC wanted the show to succeed. I find it funny that their attempt to save Legends went the opposite of what they wanted. Again, they really should not have put so much hope in the possibility of getting another season to resolve things because now we will be forever wondering why that group wants to arrest the Legends, who that group really is and so on. As much as I am glad that the show is over, I am also not happy with how the show ended.

Yep, that is the update on Arrowverse stuff for now. I'll be back with probably an angry rant post when I finish season nine of The Flash but, you'll just have to wait for that. I'll probably make posts for when I finish Stargirl, which will be soon. I also am on the third season of Superman and Lois, which has a fourth season on the way with no current release date at the time of this post. I also started watching Gotham Knights too. The Flash though is the end of the Arrowverse as we knew it since Superman & Lois, Stargirl and Gotham Knights are not apart of that same universe.