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bad-and-drawn-that-way · 9 months ago

Note

HEAR ME OUT- DUMBIFICATION, DEGRADATION AND PRAISE WITH VOX

THOUGHTS??

I also have a headcanon request that I'll do separately in list form! This is actually a scene from a scrapped multi-chapter fic idea I had for a secretary reader. As to why it was scrapped, I didn't know how to finish it so I ✨gave up! ✨

Ngl this is actually only half of the scene, there's scraps of this whole extra kinky round-two thing with some casual exhibitionism, but we'll see how this does first. That being said, enjoy!

At Your Service [Vox x Secretary Reader] NSFW AS FUCK

(NSFW writing under the cut. Minors stay away <3)

It was an early morning like any other. Vox is sitting at his desk, looking over the paperwork he had from yesterday. It’s far too early and his bougie oversized office offered little comfort as you sleepily walked in. Hearing the door open, Vox looked up and smirked as he noticed the coffee in your hand.

"Good morning." he greeted you, motioning to a chair for you to take a seat.

"Morning," you smile a bit tiredly as you enter the room. You were never much of a morning person. Once the initial adrenaline of stepping out of your house had burned out, you needed the extra caffeine boost to keep your energy going.

A yawn slipped past your lips as you sat in the chair across from his desk.

"Wimp," Vox chuckled, poking fun at your inability to start a morning as early as him. It had become a regular topic of banter that started most of your work mornings together.

"Capitalist cocksucker," you wave him off. "Not everyone can be up at the ass crack of dawn in a freshly pressed suit, Sir. A few more sips of this stuff and I'll be good to go." You say as you lift your coffee to your lips.

You hum and lick some foam off your lip as you pull out your laptop. "Any changes to today's agenda I need to know about?" you ask him.

Vox smirked, rolling his eyes as he pulled up one of the hundreds of tabs he had open on his computer. "I can tell you're still a bit tired, but if you're sure... " he paused for a moment, glancing over his schedule."Yes, actually. There has been a small change to the overall plan. We're going to be running a new campaign today, so I'll need you to be ready to assist with that."

"What would you like me to oversee?

"I want you to be over on the promotion side for this new campaign," he said as he looked up from his paperwork. "Make sure that we get maximum visibility on this. The security system may have been a spur-of-the-moment idea, but it could bring in huge fucking numbers if we pull it off. I want as many people as possible to know about it and twice as many sales as views minimum.”

You nod, take notes, and start writing an email draft to get meetings scheduled. "Do you want the visual hypnosis team to work on the campaign or the auditory team?" It was common knowledge that Vox had hypnotic abilities, but it was less common to know how it had been incorporated throughout his entire company. Inductions were slipped into nearly every advertisement, program, and product that the company made.

"Have both of the hypnosis teams work on it," he answered. "We'll have the visual team focus primarily on the advertising for the campaign, and the audial team will work on creating the sounds and audio to slip in. We want this to be a very effective campaign, so the more hypnotic technology we can put into work, the better."

You stop typing, looking up at him incredulously. “Are you sure? The last time we doubled down on inductions we had to do that whole cover story to explain why half of hell turned into braindead zombies for a week.”

“It’ll be fine,” Vox waved off your concerns. “That was years ago and we’re better at this shit now. We can always blame it on Alastor somehow if shit goes wrong.”

You nod along, "If you’re sure. I've personally been incredibly susceptible to the combination, so forgive me if I don’t watch any of your programs for the next month," you say idly without thinking.

You didn’t notice as Vox paused. You didn’t notice the toothy grin that could have prepared you for what was to come either. "How susceptible were you previously to hypnosis?"

You nod along, not listening to his question as you finish sending the email to the hypnosis teams. Your brain catches up with you as you hit send and you freeze like a deer in the headlights. The look on your flushed face was priceless and Vox would have burst out laughing if he wasn’t so invested in hearing your answer. "I, uh.." you look away from him, "I was focused and said too much out loud. You weren't supposed to hear that."

His eyes were still on you, a clear look of curiosity flashing across his expression.

"You're right, I wasn't supposed to hear that,” He grinned. “But you said it and you’re not getting out of this that easily. You said that you are quite susceptible?"

You cringe, knowing you couldn't dodge a direct question from your boss. Even if he was an ass and an absolute man-child. "I..." you bite your lip curling in on yourself and crossing your legs as you take a sudden great interest in your laptop. "Yeah, I may have... experimented a bit."

His eyebrows raised, and he leaned slightly over to get a better look at you.

"Experiments?" he spoke softly. "What type of experiments?"

You sputter, your entire body flushing as you stammer out a panicked reply, "I, ah, um.. don't know if that would be a-appropriate to um.."

He chuckled slightly, now seeming rather amused by your reaction. "I assure you, I've heard much worse than whatever you may be worried about telling me."

"E-even so," you try to reason. "It's embarrassing. It's one thing to do it, it's another to tell your boss about it."

His eyebrows raised further. "You've done hypnotic experiments on yourself, and you're embarrassed to tell me about it?” He chuckles and rests his screen on his hand. “Yeah, no. You’re not getting out of this. What exactly did you do?"

You stare at him, before sighing and opening up a blank document. It was too mortifying to say out loud. He may have the power to squeeze the information out of you for his entertainment, but you’d be damned if you gave him the satisfaction of saying it out loud. You silently type up that you've tried being hypnotized both sober and when high and how you had done free-use edging with a group while high and hypnotized. Without a word you turn the laptop around so he can read it, your face on fire as you look anywhere but at him.

He had been expecting something a bit more tame, but now he was intrigued. It seemed that you had quite the mind on you to explore such risky topics. When he finished reading it, he raised his eyebrows even further, seemingly somewhat impressed.

"Well, I'll be damned," he commented. "That's not what I expected... What made you wanna try such things?"

"I like the feeling of it," you muttered as you turned the laptop around and promptly deleted the damning text.

His eyebrows raised a bit, intrigued. "You like the feeling of being hypnotized? You like letting someone else be in control of you?"

You pressed your lips together, blushing hard as he asked his question.

"Is that a yes then?" he inquired, his grin growing as the pixels under his mouth went dead. "You don't want to give me a straight answer, but the way you're stuttering and blushing makes it pretty clear that you do."

"S-Shut up," you bite back at his call-out as you finally look back at him.

Vox laughs as he just keeps winning the game he’d caught you in. "I think I hit the nail on the head, didn't I?"

"Y-Yes, sir." You say, cringing as you realize that sounded completely different given the topic compared to when you usually called him that during work hours.

He chuckled again, finding your response more than a bit amusing. "Well then, I take it that you have no issues with me being in complete control over you, then?"

You would combust into flames if you could. Your legs clenched together as you took in his question. You looked down at your laptop, stammering as you felt yourself quickly slipping into his grasp. "T-The campaign-"

"Yes, yes, yes," he interrupts you, seeming rather amused by this. "We'll talk about the campaign after that. I'm more interested in how much control you're willing to give up to me right here and now."

"I..." you pause, staring down at your hands clenched on top of your laptop. Were you really about to do this? Fuck it.

You look up at him and nod.

A grin appeared on his face as you nodded, even more amused now that this little bit was going exactly the way he had hoped. The two of you had flirted here and there, but never anything more than the occasional passing comment. If anything, it had just been a part of the playful and teasing game you’d be playing together for the past few months with you as his assistant.

He had no idea if you had ever truly noticed his advances or the way he’d stare at your ass in that pencil skirt you always wore during meeting days. But now he had the chance to unravel every last secret that’d been out of reach. Vox was nothing if not an opportunist.

"Good girl," he said softly. "Are you ready for me to control you now?"

You stand, going to place your phone and laptop on a nearby table. You stop and take a shaky breath, smoothing out your pencil skirt. You turn and walk back to him, this time hesitating instead of simply sitting in the chair across from his desk.

"Yes."

He smiles at your obedience and hesitation, noting the way that you smoothed down your skirt. You had already given up quite a lot of control to him, and it seemed that it was just going to be even easier from this point on.

"Then come here," he said softly, motioning for you to do so.

Your heart was pounding hard in your chest and you felt how hot your cheeks were as you stepped forward and moved to stand before him. His attention had been on every part of you, taking in every inch of you. He didn’t have to sneak in glances like before, he could just take it all in on his own time. He was enjoying the way that he seemed to be able to control you with a seemingly simple command. And to think he’d barely lifted a finger.

His eyes moved downwards as you stood in front of him, and his expression became a bit more serious than mere amusement.

"Let your skirt fall to your ankles," he instructed.

You practically shivered at the command, screaming internally at how embarrassed you felt and yet squirming at how just a short command from him was enough to send sparks through your body.

Your face flushed as you slowly undid the zipper on the side of your hip, taking a sharp breath before letting the fabric fall to the floor. You hugged yourself as you looked to the side, stepping out of your skirt and standing half-exposed in front of him.

He couldn't help but smirk as you did exactly as he commanded. Your legs were now exposed, and he noted how they were quivering slightly.

"Good girl," he smirked. "Now, let's step this up."

"But you’re still wearing too much. Let’s move on to your top next, shall we?" he suggested with a spark of playful amusement.

Oh god, was he really going to make you do this? It would have been one thing if he had been the one undressing you, but the fact he was making you do it for him like this was going to be the double death of you. You shakily undo the buttons of your blouse, trying to keep your heart rate under control as you pull it over your head and let it fall to the floor by your skirt.

You look at Vox, hoping he’d finally have some mercy and touch you himself, but he only lazily drags his gaze over your body with a hum of approval. "And finally?"

You were only left in your bra, underwear, sheer black thigh-high tights, and your heels. You felt incredibly vulnerable in his large office. Anyone could come in through the door and the windows that overlooked the city suddenly felt far more exposing than they ever had before.

You could see the spark of excitement begin to rise in him as you bit your lip and paused. Your hesitation was only making this a bit more exciting for him. He could hardly keep up the playful mask when his claws were threatening to tear into the armrest of his chair.

"Go on... " he said softly and slowly, his voice now beginning to become a bit huskier.

You took another shaky breath as you slowly reached back to unclasp your bra. You shook just knowing he was looking at you. That he was pursuing this. It made you hyper-aware in every way as you tossed the garment to the side and then finally stepped out of your underwear.

His gaze on your body was intense once more, seeming to take in every inch of you. He could not stop himself from being intrigued by your body and by just how vulnerable you were right now.

Your shaking was making it even more enticing to him. "Good girl," he said softly. You move to undo the garter and roll down your tights, when he stops you. Leave those. They’re perfect.” The dead pixels under his mouth might as well have been drool with the way his eyes hungrily took in the sight of the tights pressing into your skin so perfectly.

“Are you ready to move on to the last step?"

You take a deep breath before lowering to your knees in front of him and nodding. You'd never done anything like this with a single person, finding it so much easier in a group. His lone, laser focus on you made you feel every twitch and spark and overwhelmed you in the best of ways.

"Yes, Sir."

He looked down at you once more, this time taking in all of your body as you were now kneeling, your hands resting on his chair.

"Now..." he said quietly as he reached down in a rare moment of tenderness as he lifted your chin. "I want to ask you a very simple question, but you must answer honestly. Do you enjoy this? Do you enjoy giving up your control to me?"

The smallest moan slips past your lips without your permission. Despite your embarrassment, you answer truthfully. “Yes. I love it a lot, actually.."

He smirked at the moan and the truth in your words. You were enjoying this... he could tell. You truly loved giving up your control to him. And he loved taking it.

"Good girl," he said with a soft chuckle at your veracity. "Very, very good girl. You enjoy letting me take c̶o̸m̶p̴l̶e̵t̵e̵ control of you, don't you?"

You take a deep breath, feeling your body relax a bit as you feel a bit of yourself give into him as you finally gather the nerve to look him in the eye. "Yes, Sir."

His expression seemed to shift a bit as you gave in even more. His amusement was more apparent now, as he now had you exactly where he wanted you.

"I love that you enjoy this so much," he said softly. "Does it make it more fun for you to know that you are pleasing me?"

You nod, shifting on your knees. "It does," you say earnestly. "Your approval isn't something easy to earn."

The slight shift you made was enough to cause him to smirk once more. Every time you moved, he would find something new about you that appealed to him.

"I approve of this tremendously," he grinned. "It is obvious that you enjoy giving up your control over me and letting me take control of you. It is clear that you enjoy giving me pleasure."

You let out a hot breath, your eyes darting down to between his legs as he mentioned giving him pleasure. You weren’t subtle about it either. Vox chuckled, amused more now than any other time during the interactions you two have had so far. You whine, your fists clenching where they rested on top of your thighs. Your chest shifted with every movement as you waited for his instruction.

"So eager," he breathed. He reached down and tucked your hair behind your ear as he committed the view to memory. "Go on, then,” he purred. “Show me what you’re willing to do for this.”

"I'm happy to give you a demonstration," you say to him with a smirk. Vox chuckled, happy to see some of your usual sass seep into the moment. He just knew you had a bratty side to you. The duality of how eager you seemed to submit and that bit of knowledge filled him with anticipation for all the different sides of you he wanted to see.

You scoot forward and reach for the zipper of his slacks. You chuckle as his breath hitches when you slowly pull down. He moans softly as your hand only continues following a path down as you palm him slowly over his slacks. There was already a bulge formed there that made you twitch with delight.

Looking up, you see Vox watching you with wide eyes. The smirk on his face only grew larger as you slowly pulled down his slacks and boxers You could feel the heat of his gaze on you, his breath becoming more and more audible with every slow movement.

You hum with pleasure as you focus your attention on his half-hard cock in your hand. It was easier to let go and forget your insecurities when you had him in front of you like this. For as much as you’d fantasized about him, you had never dared to dream you’d find yourself in this situation with him. You lean down and use your hand to slowly pump him before you lock eyes with him and lick a trail across the underside of his cock.

“F̷̮͛u̷̞͗c̵̹̈́k̸̝̎i̷̝͝n̶̗̎g̷̭͒ hell,” Vox swore, his grip on his chair tightening. His breath got increasingly more audible, his throat hoarse from his attempts at restraining any noise he might make. He’d been dreaming of this for far too long. He had you pegged all wrong. He always thought you were innocent. Flirty, but he couldn’t truly imagine you’d have a side like this. You always seemed too pure despite your sass. How happy was he, to be proven wrong.

"Good girl," Vox huskily breathed as his fingers tangled in your hair.

You lower down to press a kiss to the head of his cock. He hissed as you sucked lightly and collected his pre-cum on your tongue. You let your tongue loll out for a moment to show him before you lower yourself and take him in your mouth. Your tongue swirls around the tip of him and your fingers dig into his thighs as you bob your head shallowly. You tease him with subtle motions before you start to take his length down your throat in earnest.

Every movement you made only increased the heat of the situation exponentially and Vox found his cool demeanor quickly fading as he panted above you. “F̷̰͠u̵͕̅c̵̠̓k̸̞͊i̵̢͊n̵͓̅g̷̤̃ ̶̠̋ḫ̵̑e̵̩̾l̶̦͋l̶̩͆,” he gasped as your tongue lapped at the base of his cock. How the fuck were you doing that when he was jammed past your non-existent gag reflex?

You hummed around him, your eyes watering as you choked on him. He could see the mirth in your eyes and he knew you’d be teasing him with a snarky remark if you weren’t too busy drooling on his dick like a goddamn champ.

Vox lets out a stuttering breath. As hot as it was, he wasn’t going to let you just get away with keeping your attitude intact. Out of selfish pleasure, he let you continue your ministrations for a moment longer before his fingers tugged at your hair, bringing your attention back to him.

You let him pull you off of his member, your tongue hanging out as you catch your breath and smile dumbly at him. His expression remained very much one of satisfaction and admiration as he observed you. That dumbly, innocent smile of yours was rather endearing to him, as it went hand in hand with the way you were acting.

"You really are quite the little showstopper, aren’t you?" he said quietly as he took in your porn-quality face. He idly wondered how the hell you ended up working for him and not Valentino. He was not about to complain about the unexpected victory.

You hummed happily, letting yourself go more for him. It was such a stark contrast to how tense you were when you were working. He'd never seen this side of you before and he hadn't even hypnotized you yet.

He had now realized just why you got so tense when he approached you with that offer. You enjoyed this in such a way that it was almost intoxicating, that it was almost addictive. It was a stark contrast to the version of you he knew that strived for greatness and top results at all times. You must have been so wound up from it all that you just whiplashed into the complete opposite frame of mind to release.

If you were already like this in front of him, then what would you be like after he had you completely under his control?

You nod, smirking as some drool fell to your chest from when you had your mouth on him moments ago.” What can I say?” you say teasingly. “Oral fixations keep a girl eager.”

Vox grinned with the look of a hungry predator as his eyes roamed all over you. Every god damned inch.

“You actually want this, don’t you?” He chuckled. “You want me to turn you into a brain-dead d̶͈͊ȍ̴̪l̵̺͊ḽ̸̏.”

"Please," you whisper as you look up at him with pleading eyes.

You could see the hunger within his eyes as you said that single fucking word. It didn’t take lifting a single finger for you to desperately plead for his control. You’d been wanting this just as bad as he had. The whole goddamned time. Vox buried his face in his hands and you looked at him with concern. You couldn’t see the way he grinned or feel how his body trembled slightly. You could only gasp as your vision was filled with black and red spirals when he lowered his hands and looked at you with a wicked grin.

You sit back on your knees, your eyelids growing heavy as your mouth falls open. Your body felt like it was floating and it was enough to make you feel like you were high. The hypnotic effect of his demonic abilities was how he'd reached the powerful position of an overlord. Even if you hadn't been so susceptible, you would have been powerless under his gaze as a normal person.

Any hypnosis you’d experienced before took many sessions of induction. It took a bond, trust, and a lot of mental bandwidth to be so vulnerable. But Vox could just drop you at a whim. And the pull of his tide dragging you under was stronger than anything you’d ever succumbed to before.

You were blissfully unaware as Vox’s expression shifted into feral joy. Your submission. This control. It was all his for the taking. You were giving him everything he’d ever craved and he could already tell that once he properly tasted this power, he’d never want to let go. He’d become an addict, for sure.

Your mind and body felt like they were floating. All you could see was Vox as your empty and needy self waited for his command. Your body felt almost weightless now, every sense and thought centered solely on him. His commands were all that you cared about now, his desires were now like law to you, and your body, empty as it was, only had one desire.

"I want you to do as I ask without question, do you understand?" he asked, his voice shaking with delight and raw hunger.

"Yes," you sigh, your every breath feeling heavy as you’re pulled deeper under his spell.

He had already gotten you to admit you were a submissive slut and he already got you to strip for him. All before he had even used his power on you. Now? Now, he could make you do or tell him anything he wanted. You were his.

"Good girl," he grinned. "I want you to stand up and walk over to that door over there," he said, pointing to one of the nearby doors to the room. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir," you say calmly. Whereas before your embarrassment left you feeling exposed, you now felt relaxed and light. Your embarrassment and insecurities didn’t exist under Vox’s control. There was only the need to satisfy him and be blessed with ecstasy in return.

You walked over to the door in nothing but your sheer thigh-high tights and heels. You place both of your hands on the door and stand with your hips out, waiting for Vox.

Vox glitched hard and admired the way that you followed these commands so easily. This was his. He found himself growing more addicted and possessive by the second. His mind was already buzzing with all the ways he could mold you to his every need and desire. He’d never felt so in control of another person like this and it satiated a dark craving in him.

"Now, I want you to take off those tights and throw them over to me."

You bend over in front of him, fully exposed, yet carefree as you peel off your tights and hand them to him with a relaxed look on your face. Vox sparked again as he got a full view of your need for him. Once your tights were off, you handed them over to him calmly. All you could think about was pleasing him and satisfying him. Your anxiety and self-conscious tendencies were washed away.

Vox ordered you to put your hands behind your back. He grinned and tied your wrists together with one of the stockings. He snatched your underwear from the forgotten bundle of clothing by his desk and made you open your mouth for him. He stuffed them in and used the other stocking to tie around your mouth.

Now that you were completely bound, your mind was completely free to focus on the feelings and sensations you were experiencing. He dropped the hypnotic spell on you and you gasped into your gag as your mind cleared and he pushed you forward so your face and tits were flush against the door. You shuddered hard and let out a broken moan as his palm rubbed against your leaking cunt.

Vox grinned and leaned down to speak by your ear as he slid his fingers in. “You have n̷͙̈o̷̹̎ idea how much I can’t wait to fucking d̷̲͆e̶̗͘s̴̳̈t̸͚̆r̷͎͒o̸͙͊ỹ̸̝ ̸̞̉y̷̰̓ǒ̵̦u̵̬͂.”

Your gasps and moans were muffled by the fabric in your mouth and you pushed against him as he roughly played with you. His hand slammed your head against the door and held you in place as his fingers curled and scissored inside of your sloppy heat. Tears pricked your eyes as your heart and mind raced. You were completely vulnerable to him, but now your embarrassment was rearing his head at the worst (b̴̼̊è̶͔s̶͜͝t̶̹̽) possible moment.

The chance that there could be anyone on the other side of the door had you thrashing desperately against Vox’s ministrations. Vox delighted in your internal struggle and couldn’t help himself as his claws dug into the back of your hair so he could pull you back hard. “I’m going to make sure e̶͖͌v̷̞͐e̶͈̽r̶̡̂y̸̨͊o̵̤̚n̴̦̈́e̴̥͌ ̵͜͠k̵̜̔n̷̝̈́ǒ̷̮w̷͎̅s̸͓̈́ who̸̩͂ ̶͔̀y̸͎̐ő̸̳u̸̗͊ ̶̞̏f̶͎̔u̷̠̅ć̵͈k̶͙̚i̴̜̿n̸̘͐g̷̨̿ ̸͔̌ belong to,” he growled as he lifted one of your legs and slipped himself inside of you.

Your eyes rolled back and you screamed into your gag as he slipped in and out of you with ease. He’d been so hard from the build-up of it all and you were literally dripping for him by this point. Vox growled and lost control as he picked up the pace of his actions, moving you around to different areas of the office and fucking you in as many positions as possible. He wanted you exposed. He wanted you defenseless. He wanted you marked in the blood and bruises of his ownership. He wanted to ḋ̴̥ó̶̰m̵̯̕i̷̗͗n̴͈̽a̵̱̒t̶̤̎ȇ̸͚ you. And he would.

Neither of you could keep track of the amount of times you’d come. Your mixed desire was dripping from your cunt as he’d buried himself deep inside of you every time one of you peaked. This was all he wanted. That was all you wanted. No more thinking, no more emotions, just the sheer fucking pleasure.

Your eyes rolled back into your head as you cried from how good he made you feel. He knew how to unravel you into nothing more than a babbling mess with every clever touch and command. It was becoming too much and yet you felt like you wanted more of it. You were overwhelmed as you felt yourself quickly approaching an orgasm.

“That’s it,” Vox growled as he fucked you against his desk. He chuckled darkly as he smacked your ass. “Fucking do it, c̴͖͆o̵͕͋m̷̟̉ẽ̵̞.”

You threw your head back and screamed as your entire body convulsed around him. You couldn't do anything but take his relentless thrusts as he pounded you into the desk. Vox growled, nearly on the verge of cumming himself when he suddenly rips himself off of you. You let out a muffled sob as you clench around nothing.

Your entire world is suddenly filled with bright blue electricity as you feel everything shift suddenly. You almost fall, but are caught by Vox’s hands. You squint as your eyes adjust to the sudden change of lighting and Vox undoes the gag around your mouth as you realize you’re now in his surveillance room.

Your eyes go wide and you gasp and you see yourself on the monitors with Vox crouched over you. Every screen was showing a live feed of you from several different angles, showing how vulnerable you were in this situation. The footage of you was quite an entertaining sight for Vox as his wires came out of nowhere and threw you onto his chair.

"V-Vox,” you gasp as you look up at him with wide eyes. The overlord’s grin stretches wide as he grabs onto your shaking legs.

It was the first time you'd actually used his name.

At work, you were professional. In his office, you were playful. However now that he had you in his lair, he would mark a new side of you… Here, you were your true self, fully and utterly submissive. Here was his favorite.

You couldn't help but moan shamelessly as he lifted you with his cables and sat in the chair beneath you. You threw your head back with a scream as he dropped you onto his cock and turned the chair so you had an eyeful of each and every monitor with your shameful display recorded.

You moan as you bounce yourself on him, meeting every one of his feral thrusts. Your mind was completely gone. Every grunt and growl that slipped from his lips only fueled your need. The marks on your hips and back from where his sharp nails clawed in burned just as deliciously as the stretch of him inside you.

Pain and pleasure all in one were now filling your mind. His grunts and growls were becoming louder, as were yours. You couldn't control it. This situation was pushing you further and further toward the edge.

You leaned into him, gasping as he made you lose your mind.

"P-please." You begged.

"Beg for it," he said growled, "Beg f̸̼̑ó̶̙r̴̠̀ ̵̫́m̴̡̾è̸̼."

You moan low as you desperately plead with him. "Please Vox, plus fucking break me! Please please please, Sir, please I'll be good. I'll do anything, please, Sir, fucking please!"

"You'll do anything for me," he said, with a grin on his face as he saw you getting more desperate with your plea. The red recording symbol on all of the screens wasn’t enough to make you see the incoming danger. You were too overwhelmed with the pleasure quaking through your body as Vox pumped into your sloppy cunt.

Your entire body shook hard as his movements suddenly stopped. A long whine of frustration and the roll of your hips made Vox grin. You were so desperate for him in the moment, you didn't notice the gravity of the position you were in.

"Fucking please don’t stop, I'll do anything Vox, please," you begged as you desperately rutted against him.

"I'm going to give you exactly what you want," he grinned as he whispered in your ear. "If you do everything I say from now on, then I'll give you everything you want. Sound like a deal?"

You sob, nodding rapidly against him. "Fuck, please, yes! It's a deal, so please!"

Vox suddenly thrusts up into you hard, making you scream as the room flashes with electricity. The deal was made and the pact was sealed.

"Good girl," he said quietly and calmly, as he pet your hair.

His grin was downright sinister as he pulled your head back.

"You're mine now."

Your eyes went wide as you realized the gravity of what you had just done in the heat of the moment. "Wait, I-" you gasp as you're cut off as Vox starts to mercilessly pound into your heat.

"I heard what you said," he grins as his claws dig into your hips and draw blood. "I heard it a̸̩̎l̴͚͗l̷̖̓.. And I'm going to hold you to e̵̻̐v̶͎͌é̵͉r̶͕͊y̷̳̍ word of that agreement."

If you thought Vox was rough before, it was nothing compared to how he used you now. He tossed you around like a toy and you sobbed as he broke you.

Your eyes were crossed as you screamed and took everything he had to give you. "Vox, Vox, Sir, fucking please!" You babbled, practically worshipping how he destroyed you now that he owned your soul. It was too good to care about the consequences. It was too much. All you could think of was how badly you needed him.

Your screams and moans were now all he could hear as you completely lost it. He was using everything that he could to break you and he seemed to enjoy every second of it. He was doing you dirty, but it was also exactly what you desired. All you wanted now was his approval, as he completely controlled and dominated you in body and spirit.

#vox x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #this shit is DEPRAVED #that being said the second half i had drafted was even more feral than this #this was the WARMUP

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sweetwolfcupcake · 11 months ago

Text

The Taste of Deceit: Hyungline Part 2 (Finale- Hoseok)

Masterlist

Taste of Deceit Masterlist

Hyungline- Part 1, Part 2(Jin and Yoongi, Namjoon)

Warnings- Gore, Violence, Grey Characters, Dead Dove Do Not Eat

Word Count: No idea.

Tumblr was having problems uploading the whole 37k post. So, here it is, divided.

Unedited. Kindly excuse my errors. if you find anything significantly wrong, please let me know.

“What do you do?”

The question had been bouncing in her mind for a while. Jung Hoseok was perhaps the sweetest, kindest man she had ever met. She had some professions in mind already.

A vet?

Animal behaviourist?

A pet shop owner?

A chocolatier?

A florist?

He was no layman, so whatever he was doing, he ought to be the best of the best. But he was graceful, humble and funny– the definition of a bright, beaming spring day!

Hoseok smiled at her before sipping his wine. He insisted that he needed someone to accompany him to the newly inaugurated restaurant and pub so that he could taste and check on everything.

Had he been the sole owner of it, Hoseok would have no problem managing things. However, since he had a business partner here, he had no other option but to wait for post-inauguration improvements. But he wanted an objective opinion on the place– the food, the ambience, the drinks and according to him, her name was the first one that popped into his mind.

“Any guesses?”

He was playful like that.

She had not planned or even expected a new addition to her friend circle, but Jung Hoseok somehow found her. Ever since that evening, when he swooped in and pulled her out of the odd situation with ease, they had exchanged numbers. He was charming, to simplify it.

“You…” She trailed off, thinking of an appropriate guess, but ended up with anything random that came up in her mind “You are a chocolatier!”

She knew it was an incorrect guess, even before Hoseok burst out laughing, she knew that she was wrong. The amused glint in his eyes said it all. He laughed with his whole form– head thrown back, body quivering, hand running through his hair. The terrace allowed them to bask in the pleasant sunlight, and the rays seemed to make him gleam and dance with him as he moved.

“No, I’m not. Not yet at least.” His laughter sobered up to a smile “But I can be, for you.”

Such words would not have made her blush– they were cliché. But if Jung Hoseok would look at someone like they were the only person in the whole world and finish it off with a wink, nobody stood a chance– she was just a simple girl.

Letting out a playful scoff, she began to cut through her steak.

“Let me, please.”

Within a moment, Hoseok was leaning in, her cutlery now in his grasp as he expertly cut the meat into perfect pieces.

“Thank you.” (Y/N) would be lying if she said that she was not caught off guard at his speed and precision, he was already cutting the steak even before she could respond.

“A hotelier.”

“Huh?”

Hoseok smiled at her before glancing at his plate and putting a piece of steak in his mouth.

“I own chains of hotels, even clubs, some of them are co-owned but most of them, they are all my own.”

(Y/N) stopped chewing. She had friends who could be considered ‘elites’ but Jung Hoseok seemed completely out of her league.

No, she was not looking for a partner in him, he was a fun person to hang around– a friend who made her blush. If that made sense?

She liked his company, she liked his friendship, but obviously, she did not know much about him. But the new discovery only made her realise that they were worlds apart.

If he noticed the shift in her demeanour, he did not comment on it, instead, he breezed through his talks and actions.

“Rate the place, (Y/N), and be honest, because it is an expensive investment I have made.” He asked once they were finished with the food, now waiting for some more wine.

She smiled with warmed cheeks, blaming the wine, but under his scrutiny, it was hard to not melt “The staff behaviour is pleasant.”

“Of course, they will be on their toes, I am the co-owner of this place, the food. What do you think?” He breezed past her reply, pushing for more

“I loved the steak, it was tender and delicious.”

Hoseok smiled, but his eyes remained the same “You are stiff (Y/N), anything bothering you?”

She felt her cheeks heating further, this time with her ears and neck.

“No, everything is fine!”

He hummed before refilling her glass “That was an awfully fast denial, but I would buy it, for now.” He finished with a wink “Relax,”

On second thought, she knew that his status did not affect the person that he was, she still enjoyed his company and he was clearly a kind and humble man, at least, she could try to shove her doubts at the back of her mind for the moment.

“Well, Hoseok, I believe that if this place is charging a little more than a Michelin star place, they ought to provide something more. At least until this place earns a name in the market.”

Hoseok nodded “And that’s why you are now my professional restaurant reviewer. You are right, I was considering the same, you see.”

“Unfortunately, good Sir, I would have to decline, I already have a job.”

And amused chuckles filled the air.

It was an idyllic place. Stretch of mountains and cliffs in view and a clear beach at arm’s length. The resort, as it had turned out, was owned by Hoseok himself.

In retrospect, (Y/N) wondered what would have happened had she kept her distance from Hoseok. Declined his friendship, kept him at an arm’s length— never bumped into him at all?

Her life would be different. Totally different. With a wistful glance at the mountain peaks, (Y/N) turned to arrange their luggage. The tiny phone peaking out from the folded clothes reminded her of her harsh reality.

She was thankful that Hoseok was in the shower. Quickly sending their location through the phone, she tucked it safely in one of the many eyewear cases she had brought on the trip.

Keeping the box away, she resumed unpacking, when the shrill ring of the doorbell pierced through the momentary relief. (Y/N) jumped but regained her composure. Fanning herself, she licked her lips and walked towards the door.

She was only a few feet away from the door when she stumbled, before registering the firm grip around her waist and the breathing wall she was pulled against— no it was not a wall, it was her husband behind her.

“How many times have I told you not to answer the door in my absence?”

She looked up, to find his hardened gaze through his dripping strands. He was still in his bathing robe.

“You were in the bathroom so—”

“There are a few rules you must abide, Honey.” Despite the pet name, there was no tenderness in his tone.

“I’m sorry Hoseok.” She looked down.

The doorbell rang in the background again, but her thoughts muffled away her environment. She did not even hear him coming. What if he found out what sat in her luggage?

“Go back to the bedroom.”

She did not need to be told twice.

Life had been hectic, to say the least. Added to it were her bedroom’s air conditioner breaking down, the fridge making noises and her boss highlighting her underperformance for the month. In short, it was not a great month for her.

With the oncoming of October, the city had burst with tourists and trees, with bright foliage. The weather, at least, was pleasant. Her phone came alive with multiple notifications but she had no time to look, one minute late and she would miss the bus.

She could use her car, but it needed regular maintenance and what she needed was—

She had not paid attention to the speeding car, and she would not have, had it not been for a slick four-wheeler stopping right beside her with an ear-piercing screech. She was startled, to put it lightly.

The all-too-familiar black car made her frown, but her suspicions were only confirmed after Hoseok emerged from it, eyes shaded with sunglasses, hair perfectly done, complementing his white shirt and black trousers. He was a treat for the eyes.

“There you are,”

She subconsciously stepped back as he approached, more like marched towards her– even with the smile he had, his voice had an unfamiliar edge.

But she smiled anyway.

“Hi…” Whatever greeting she had thought of faded away when he took off his sunglasses.

“You have not been answering my texts, is everything alright?”

“Yes, yes, I mean just—It has been a crazy month so far and–I’m sorry I have not even been able to reply to my best friend and parents.”

She felt the rush of guilt replacing the initial nerves.

“Oh, honey, you don’t need to be sorry, I was just so worried. Let me drop you off to my workplace at least.”

She was shaking her head even before he finished the sentence, but Jung Hoseok seemed to be determined,

“There is no room for a no, it's a rush in the public transports anyway, at least grant yourself some relief, come on.” He took away her laptop bag and began to walk back into the car, leaving her with no option but to follow him into his car.

Muffled voices, one of which she recognised as that of her husband, seeped into the bedroom as she waited with wringing fingers for Hoseok to return. She had clearly upset him, and that was the last thing she wanted at the moment.

Hoseok entered the bedroom after a few prolonged, painful minutes. She noticed the stark difference in his expression and the air surrounding him first before taking notice of the breakfast trolley that he was pushing into the room with him.

“Look, all your favourites! Now, that is how a vacation should look like, don’t you think?”

She blinked in silence– he never failed to give her a whiplash.

Hoseok’s smile dimmed at the silence “Oh, I’m so sorry, Jagiya. You know how worried I get about your safety. I can never guess when my enemies attack. If they get to know about you…You understand my point, don’t you?”

He was already on his knees, emphasising each word like he was explaining to a child, cupping her cheeks to hold her attention. She nodded, despite not believing a word that came out of his mouth.

“Let’s get you to eat something, hmm?”

“Yes, here’s my office.”

“This one?” Hoseok ducked his head to assess the looming building in front of them,

“Yes. I work here.” Picking up her bag, (Y/N) turned to thank him, but his firm hold on her bag kept her from moving out.

“Let me drop you.”

“Huh? I mean, my office is just—”

“I insist. Come on, we are getting late.” Her bag slipped from her grip once again as Hoseok stepped out of the car, quickly sprinting around the front to make sure he opened the door for her.

“T-Thanks.”

“Let's go. Why don’t you show me your office today?” He smiled—the same charming smile that made a ‘No’ impossible to pronounce.

“Would you like to take a nap before we go? It's a hot morning., and you barely slept through the flight.”

“It would be far worse in the afternoon.” (Y/N) picked out a one-piece for the beach.

He hummed absent-mindedly as he strolled towards her. The soft material was perfect for a beach vacation. His fingers ran through her slightly tangled hair.

“Let me do your hair.”

“I intend to leave it be.” She tried to step away, but he did not let go of her hair..

“I insist.” He asserted as he led her towards the dressing table.

His hand was gentle as he untangled the tresses before beginning to comb them properly. “You have been distant, love.” She stilled, suddenly feeling parched.

“W-what?”

Hoseok only chuckled at that. “I guess I tend to think too much.”

He sprayed some water and hair serum on her hair, but his gaze remained locked with hers.

“Are you upset that I left for so long? I know it must have been suffocating to not be able to step out of the mansion. But it is the safest option (Y/N), trust me. One day, you will understand, and there will be no emotional distance between us.”

Suppressing a scoff, she forced out a small smile and nodded as he put on a hairpin matching the colour of her dress.

“Here you go. You want a lip tint?”

Hoseok had a bounce in his strides as he walked into the office as if he owned it. (Y/N) immediately knew how stupid and ignorant she had been when people began to murmur, and some even stood up in his presence.

She was probably the only idiot in the room who had not even made a close guess regarding his affluence. She thought that she needed to guide him, but he was perfectly fine, manoeuvring all over the place on his own.

“Which floor?” He finally turned to her

“Second.”

“And your boss’s floor?”

"The top. Why?”

Hoseok only smiled and shrugged. “Nothing, just curious.”

“Hi, have you completed the report for last week?” One of her colleagues approached her once she was settled at her desk, shortly after Hoseok left.

“Uh, about the ongoing project? I completed and submitted it yesterday. You did not receive an email?" Being on the same team meant that they shared one network. “I even messaged the team.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot.” With a small smile, she turned around to leave but paused, only to turn back again “Also, I wanted to ask about the changes I was supposed to make to my report?”

(Y/N) smiled with uncertainty. "That will be handled by the project head, I guess?”

The woman nodded. “Right, my bad, so I should get going.” With that, she turned around to leave.

"Wait! Um, I might be overthinking, but is there something you want to tell me or ask me?”

The woman was no more than her colleague; they did not share friendship with anyone outside the office. They were polite with each other and knew how to work together, and that was it. So random chit-chats were not common in their case.

“Um…I don’t mean to intrude, but... Who was the man who came with you? Who just left?”

(Y/N) smiled, confused. “You mean Hoseok?”

“Yeah, Jung Hoseok.”

It was not in her interest, but looking at her colleague, (Y/N) had more questions springing up in her mind.

“You know him?”

At her question, the woman blinked, and her eyes widened for a flash before she made a scrambling attempt to mask it with something more subtle. (Y/N) frowned, growing intensely curious.

“You don’t know who Jung Hoseok is?”

"Yeah, he is a hotelier; there are a few articles here and there.”

The woman bit her lip at her answer, and her ears turned a bright shade of pink as she nodded. (Y/N) thought that she heard her sigh, “Y-yeah, right. I will see you at lunch; I have a lot to do.”

Something was wrong. It felt so wrong that (Y/N) refused to sit in suspicion for another extra moment.

“Ms. Lee,” she called out, walking to her. “Ms. Lee, if there is something that I am missing, then please tell me. Is...Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing is amiss, Ms. (L/N).” She shook her head. “I will not keep you from your work anymore; the project head has sent us deadlines already. Have a good day.”

With that, the woman rushed off, leaving her with itching questions.

“You don’t like the food?”

“Huh?” (Y/N) tore her gaze away from the tranquil ocean visible from the restaurants they were currently sitting in; they chose the side with an unrestricted view of the sea.

Hoseok’s gaze, however, had been on her, as always “You haven’t taken a single bite since it was served.”

“I was waiting for it to cool down.”

“Its a cold dish, Jagi.” He pointed out, his eyes narrowing as he assessed her.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” (Y/N) gulped down some wine before diving in to eat.

It had been a day of sightseeing, and as the sun began to dip behind the golden sea, they both decided to have an early dinner before returning to the resort.

“We can order something else if you want." Hoseok offered, but she shook her head, digging into her plate.

“I like these.”

He smiled at her reply, “I know; that's why I ordered these for you.” However, it died down as soon as it came, “Then what is the matter, love?”

“Nothing, why?” She could hear the muffled beats of her heart, and she could feel the increased thrum as she fought the urge to gulp. He would notice.

The silence stretched between them; it was almost like waiting for a ticking bomb to explode

“Can I..." she finally gulped and took a deep breath “Can I see my mother?”

Silence.

Hoseok’s gaze held the edge of sharp scrutiny before he moved, and she lauded herself mentally for not flinching.

Taking a sip of his wine, Hoseok shifted his focus back to his plate. This time, though, everything light disappeared from the air around him.

“The doctor keeps me updated. She is doing well.” He broke the silence, only to fuel the tension.

“But when can I see her?”

He looked up again and smiled.

“I know you are worried, Jagi, but now is not the time. We will meet her soon, okay?”

She knew better than to push it.

“What are you doing? Its lunch.”

Her friend’s voice startled her. “Tch, you go; I will join you later.” (Y/N) turned around to face Yumi briefly before resuming her research.

“Why are you searching for the Amethyst Era?”

“This hotel belongs to the Amethyst Era too." This time, (Y/N) turned her chair around completely to look at her friend.

Yumi shrugged. “Weren’t you doing the research? And this hotel is one of the most coveted in the country; people who keep up with such news know.”

She dragged a nearby empty chair and made herself comfortable beside (Y/N).

“How many hotels does Amethyst Era own?”

“Pfft, hotels? Pubs, nightclubs, office buildings, and resorts—and not just luxury Some three to four star places as well.”

“Oh, you know quite well; you are into these?"

“People are gossiping, (Y/N). Did Jung Hoseok really come to drop you off at work this morning?”

(Y/N) was surprised by her question, "Yeah, he did, but it was just a friendly gesture. Is he that famous?”

Yumi stared at her for a good, long moment before licking her lips and focusing on the screen.

“You know he owns Amethyst Era, right?”

She nodded at the screen showing pictures of a grand hotel.

"Yeah, I just looked it up this morning. What’s with that? Even Ms. Lee was being weird about me knowing Hoseok.”

“He’s a big name, (Y/N), a big, shady name.” Yumi replied grimly.

“Shady name? Why?”

“You remember my cousin Eun?”

Eun was Yumi’s cousin, who had mysteriously disappeared a year ago. Though Yumi did not share much about it, (Y/N) knew that her family and she were still disturbed and that his disappearance was a cold case.

(Y/N) nodded, now more interested in the conversation than ever before. “Well, the last place he was seen was completely different from what we have been told.”

“What? What do you mean?”

Yumi sighed and nodded. “I am so sure because I have been researching this myself; my friend is a private detective, and over the years, we have found many oddities with the case.”

Her voice lowered as she leaned closer. “We were told that he was last seen near the Han River, implying that he jumped to end his life. But I never believed that, you know? I knew Eun; he was not too close with his parents, but we grew up together.” Her voice cracked in the end.

(Y/N) held her friend’s hand to comfort her; she could see Yumi’s eyes turning glassy. It must have been a storm for her and her family.

“He could not have done this, (Y/N), he possessed a zeal for life. He wanted to live more than himself for anyone.”

She steadied herself with another deep breath before continuing,

“I tried to push the police to look into the matter. I even tried to convince his parents that something was wrong. But they were adamant about believing what was being served to them. So I took matters into my own hands.”

(Y/N) nodded. “I can only imagine what you were going through.”

"I found out that he was last seen at a motel on the outskirts of Seoul. It was a fairly isolated place. There were a few witnesses. Plus, the investigator checked the CCTV near the river and found no sign of Eun. He was not there; he never went there. The police lied to us.”

“They were covering this up?” Yumi nodded confidently.

“Our trail took us to a remote motel.” Turning to the PC, she typed a name.

A few specifics later, a motel name and address showed up, with only one picture.

“This is the one.” She pointed at a rather blurry picture of a motel that seemed to be situated in the middle of nowhere.

“What was he doing here?” (Y/N) asked the obvious.

“That’s what we are trying to get into. But I think it is something not right, like we would come under radar. Jung Hoseok’s radar.”

Yumi’s words made her turn away from the screen

“Jung Hoseok? What do you mean?”

“This motel is owned by Flare, a company that renovates and fixes places like old houses and hotels—you know, the one you would call if you were moving into an old house? Something like that. Now, this is a fairly small company. Nothing fishy, right?”

(Y/N) hummed and nodded her head in agreement.

“This is where it turns fishy. Turns out that Amethyst Era is the parent company of Flare.”

“What?”

Yumi nodded and tuned to type again in the search engine, “Look, Flare is no elite. In fact, it is not even in the top five companies that Amethyst Era owns.”

“Amethyst Era has more than five companies under it?”

(Y/N) realised that she had indeed been living under a rock!

How come she had never heard of Amethyst Era if it is such a big name in the market?”

“Apparently, twelve.”

Yumi’s estimate raised (Y/N)’s eyebrows. “Twelve companies? What is he?”

“An immensely powerful hand in Eun’s disappearance, apparently. At least, that is what the investigator concludes. I have done some research on him and his Amethyst Era. Despite being such a giant in the market, most of the companies under its name stay lowkey. Pandora’s Box is usually the one in the spotlight. Closet Call is another glittery name in the market.”

“Pandora’s Box? I think I’ve heard of it.”

“Best in accessories and jewellery. It is not an exclusively luxurious brand–it has a few luxurious collections, and since most people can afford it, it is more profitable.”

“How did you manage to dig up so much?”

“Thanks to my friend.”

“Closet Calls has a showroom in every mall I have been to.” (Y/N) commented.

“That’s why people are talking. Jung Hoseok was seen with you. Just pray that they have not taken any pictures of you together.”

“Yumi, whatever you have revealed to me... This makes him sound dangerous.”

“Every powerful company is dangerous (Y/N), but we still have no confirmation if he was directly involved in the disappearance of Eun or if he had anything to do with his disappearance. Everything is based on suspicion and probability (Y/N). In reality, we have no evidence, no real lead.”

Deleting the pages and the search history, Yumi turned to (Y/N).

“I cannot say anything with assurance right now, but you now know that he is no ordinary man. And in this world, power and money define everything. I cannot dictate your life, but I can advise you. My advice to you is not to get involved with anything that you cannot assess.”

(Y/N) nodded, her mind wandering off to all those times when Hoseok took her to restaurants, pubs, and banquet halls for ‘neutral and honest reviews’, which ranged from grand to sleek. She had suspicions that he was the one hosting the party where she had met him for the first time, but he had never confirmed anything, and the question had slipped out of her mind eventually.

Now every little conversation, every passing piece of information, and every quirk seemed to ring a bell—she knew that she was perhaps overthinking, mildly panicking even, but Yumi was right. People of Jung Hoseok’s strata were no saints, and people like her were nothing more than numbers for such people.

“Aren’t we going back to our suite?” (Y/N) was confused when Hoseok drove to the beach instead

“We are within walking distance from our resort. Besides, its peaceful here, don’t you like it?”

Hoseok smiled as he continued to walk, his eyes staring at the gentle waves in the distance.

She would admit that it was pleasant to be the only two people roaming around the beach. The sun had set and left behind traces of rapidly darkening blues. Everything in the atmosphere was perfect to lull anyone into a sense of peace.

But with Hoseok, she could feel anything but peaceful. Under the darkening sky, her senses turned more alert in his presence. The silence did not help either. It was like a waiting game, at least on her part, because Hoseok seemed completely relaxed. In fact, it was the most relaxed she had seen him ever since.

They stood where the waves chased their feet, shoes left behind, and the wet sand initially felt odd under her skin, but soon she grew used to it. Just like how she had begun to grow used to being Jung Hoseok’s little wife—or his little pet, she could say. Had it not been that woman—

Fingers wrapping around the back of her neck broke her from her spiralling thoughts. (Y/N) gasped, startled back into reality, but before she could respond, her face was gently but firmly turned to her side, and his lips greeted her. It was gentle for only a moment before it turned passionate, almost frenzied with lust. Her knees turned boneless. The air was charged between them. She shut her eyes, trying not to look into the very eyes that would haunt her for a lifetime.

“There was not a single day when I had not wished to have you by my side, ever since I met you.” He confessed between the heated kisses.

It would have been a sweet expression of love, had it not taken her back to the moment when everything went downhill for her.

As if the conversation with Yumi had not been enough, the very next day, her boss had invited her into his cabin and apologised for his ‘rude and unacceptable behaviour towards a company asset such as her’.

Company Asset?

(Y/N) was self-aware enough to know that she was easily replaceable. That man would rather fire his best employee than apologise. The jittery body language did not help either. That was not him apologising to her; he was being compelled to do so.

All she could think of was how Hoseok had casually asked her about her boss’ cabin. She had no other spot for the needles of suspicion to point at.

Everything was pointing towards Hoseok. But what she could not fathom was the reason behind a man such as him being invested in an ordinary woman such as her.

After that day, she began to evade him. Excuses, silence, diversion—whatever she could, she did to keep him at an arm’s length.

But such ways could only sustain her for so long.

It had been a relatively enjoyable evening for an office party. She met a new employee who was funny, friendly, and flirtatious. No, she was not looking for any serious relationships, but some casual flirting would not hurt, right?

It had been a while since she felt her cheeks hurt from laughter; the last time she laughed so hard was when she had lunch with Hoseok. She had the ghost of her previously full-blown smile as she entered the elevator. Pressing on the number of her floor, she yawned, feeling the day’s toil catching up.

But before the doors could close completely, they opened another ding. Her previously slumped shoulders jerked up, alert, as the doors opened wide once more, and Jung Hoseok walked in, and she sucked in a breath.

He smiled—the usual friendly smile he would reserve for her—but under the light, his smile failed to brighten up the space this time.

In silence, he stepped inside the elevator and waited for the doors to close. This time, they did, but she wished that they did not.

The silence was oppressive.

That was the only way she could describe it since she had not yet realised that she felt cornered.

“How was the party?”

She blinked. Despite it being just the two of them, the space felt crowded. The doors opened once more with the usual ‘ding’ before Hoseok walked out and turned to her, expecting her to follow him.

She yielded.

“You did not answer. That’s alright, let's talk over coffee.” He stood by her flat’s entrance, smiling.

Realising that she had no way out of the situation, she hurriedly unblocked her apartment door and invited him in.

“Sorry, its a bit messy right now, I did not know you were coming.”

By the time she finished, he was already making himself comfortable on her sofa.

“That’s alright, (Y/N), makes you all too likeable." He smiled. But there was something cold and steely about that. “Why are you standing there? Have a seat. Its your home, after all.”

She managed to put up a smile and sit a good distance away from him. He did not comment on it but it would be foolish to assume that he did not notice, especially when his eyes remained on her—a cynical amusement playing in those orbs that made her sit still and taut.

“You have been quite busy these days, love. I hope your boss is not giving you a hard time.”

“No, he already apologised.” This time, she stared right back at him, trying to gauge out a reaction, desperately hoping that he had nothing to do with this.

Hoseok smiled and tilted his head. “Glad to hear that.”

And she needed no more confirmation. Taking a deep breath, she arranged the words in her head before beginning to speak.

“Hoseok, y-you are a kind and beautiful friend, and I really enjoy your company. Anyone would be glad to have you as a friend…”

“Really? I feel special.”

Ignoring his comment, she continued—

“But unfortunately, I do not think that we should see each other anymore, as often. I do not fit into your world. It’s too vast, too glitzy, and over all—I mean–yeah you get it. I just feel that maybe we can tone down the meetings. My office colleagues took it the wrong way. Everybody knows you.”

That was not exactly what she wanted to say, but that would do. If he was not offended,

He chuckled and looked away for a moment, observing the wall on his side as if contemplating something. He mumbled.

“Sorry?”

“I guess you are tired. I will pick you up tomorrow, hmm?” His gaze found hers again.

“I just—”

I planned a whole weekend getaway. Be ready by eight in the morning tomorrow.”

To say that she was stunned was a grave understatement. She blinked, dumbfounded by his blatant ignorance of her previous words. But here was where she would draw the line.

“Hoseok.”

Her voice was firm. He was on his way out of her apartment, but he paused and turned around.

“I think you did not hear me earlier. I don’t want to see you so often. I am not going anywhere with you. Not tomorrow, not the day after tomorrow.”

She paused before finally making up her mind

“Not ever.”

Yumi was right. The more she minded her own business, the better. She did not want to be embroiled in anything dangerous or even scandalous. She needed herself. Not Jung Hoseok or any other storm.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Hoseok put his hands inside his pockets and titled his head—his stance relaxed and his eyes amused.

“What was your friend’s name again? Right, Lee Yumi, and her private detective friend, Kanyun. I will do them a favour.”

He took a step closer to her while she remained frozen in fear.

“Since he has been running around with half-assed clues and crack-head witnesses for over a year now, I will give her one– the motel owner runs an illegal drug business. And now she and her little detective run to the police and find out how many of them work for me.”

He raised his hand, and she flinched and closed her eyes, almost certain that a hit was coming.

Some scars took time to heal after all.

When nothing happened for a long moment, she opened her eyes, only to find his hand frozen in mid-air and all the air of amusement gone.

He clenched his jaws before gently brushing away the strands of hair from her face.

“Never even in my dreams, love. Not even in my dreams.”

His voice had no sharpness or amusement this time.

But she could not understand why.

She knew of his reality; he knew that she knew. Then why was she so soft with her? Like he was just playing. Maybe it was all a game for him after all.

“Its okay if you don’t want to come. You need to save your energy for the future anyway. Goodnight, love, sleep well.”

Planting a quick, soft kiss on her forehead, he left.

He walked away as if he had had the most casual conversation with someone. Then perhaps she was that irrelevant.

What harm could people like her or Yumi do to a person as powerful as Jung Hoseok?

The night went by with her warning Yumi about the fact that Hoseok knew what she was up to, checking all doors, windows, and locks, and keeping an eye on the street to see if there was someone watching over her.

Hoseok had known that Yumi had been trying to find out about her cousin all the while, and he also somehow knew that she was coming back from an office party. If that was not chilling enough, the very fact that he had confidently given away such important information hit the nail.

Jung Hoseok was a man she ought to avoid at all costs.

The sand sticking to her had felt odd a while before. But at the moment, she was overwhelmed with the feeling of his finger entering her. The pace was slow but calculated, leaving her gasping for breath. The dress he had chosen for her allowed the ease of his hands finding their way between her legs.

At the back of her mind, she knew that they would both need a shower once they were back in their suite. At the back of her mind, she was scared. But all she could express was how good his fingers felt—one curved inside her, rubbing on all the sweet, hard spots that made her gasp and shudder, the other playing with her pearl to make her senses fill with ecstasy.

“There you go, Baby~” he cooed at her, his fiery gaze meeting her hazy one as she was finally pushed over the edge.

She felt the second finger entering the very next moment, dragging her orgasm before she felt the delightful tiredness seeping in. But he knew that it was not over. He waited for a moment to let her catch her breath before his fingers inside her parted, stretching her walls. His lips attached themselves to her neck as his fingers continued to move in a steady, almost hypnotic motion, making her hips rise and her back arch.

“I love you so much…you have no fucking idea.”

His words made her eyes flutter open. Although still dazed, she managed to voice out her concern “Aren’t p-people here? Someone–oh–”

“Shh, no one will see us; we are the only ones here, love. I cleared it out all for us.”

There was nothing surprising about it, though. The last time he caught someone staring at her chest, it ended with blood sprinkling all over the wall and the ceiling. Of course, he would not allow another soul to step inside the premises; he had planned to take her to the beach all along.

Her thoughts, though, were not steady, not with his fingers stretching her out like that while his lips assaulted her sweet spot, making her perfectly pedicured toes curl.

She came once more with a short but sharp scream, feeling her whole form buzz with pleasure.

But the feeling did not last long enough to be relished, as she felt his hand between her warm legs. The bottom of her dress was already flung up carelessly, exposing her to him.

Under the gentle moonlight and the distant lit-up torches, she could see his eyes gleam. He smirked before crashing his lips on hers. The kiss was passionate but gentle, pushing her towards another edge.

But he pulled away abruptly, leaving her hanging. He smiled as he unzipped himself before nestling between her legs. Her inner thighs already felt damp with anticipation and arousal, but feeling his length rubbing against them, along with the texture of his pants, she felt her womanhood clench. Pulling her into a sitting position, he let out a quiet groan.

She blinked, slightly disoriented, but did not question him. She could feel hands around her waist even though the material of the dress.

It was a surreal feeling.

No matter how many times she slept with him, she would oscillate between being somewhere else mentally and having all her senses overwhelmed with pleasure.

Finally, she felt his length entering her before he pulled her over his lap. The movement of his manhood inside her made her gasp loudly and hold on to him for her dear life. Hoseok growled into her ear while she felt him unzipping her dress, loosening the sleeves so that he could pull them down in a quick, rough movement, along with her bra, leaving her breasts exposed.

His lips found hers again, and she squeaked into his mouth as he began to move. It was something she had never felt before. He truly never failed to surprise her.

Her eyes opened to find his fiery gaze on her before he moved her roughly once, eliciting a scream from her lips as her eyes rolled back again. His tongue devoured her mouth, and hers lolled, surrendering to the intense pleasure.

Her screams were met with his quickening breath and curses following a deep, sensual laughter. For a moment, it was easier to forget everything—the scars of the past, the uncertainty of the future—and just let the pleasure consume her.

And she did just that. She gripped him tighter and moved with him, taking in all he gave her and in turn surrendering to him, just for the moment, and even in that moment, she felt how he claimed her. Like he always wanted to.

-----

She excused herself to the bathroom the moment they returned to their suits. The dress she wore did next to nothing to cover the blooms of red, pink and purple over her neck and beyond, at least those on her thighs were not visible.

Her legs were still wobbly, and the feeling of dampness between her legs did not help, it felt weird to walk normally. Under the sense of privacy provided by a shut bathroom door, she assessed her reflection in the mirror.

There was no way of denying that she enjoyed it– she was glowing, but her eyes. They fell like they were foreign.

Did she always have those empty eyes?

She knew she did not. But it was hard to remember the times she felt truly happy.

But there was hope now. Finally, she could see the glimmering end of the tunnel in the form of the opportunity thrown at her(literally). Remembering the phone tucked safely between her cloths, she composed herself as she began to wash away the remains of dubious passion from between her legs. She knew that scrubbing would not fade the marks all over her, but she scrubbed them anyway, resentful of herself for falling weak at the moment.

After a rather long bath, she felt slightly lighter, wanting nothing more than to crash on the bed and sleep the night away. With a sigh, she opened the bathroom door and stepped in the bedroom.

Hoseok was not in the room when she stepped in. It was an eerie silence that impregnated the place. Sighing, she turned to get into the bed, only to be startled by Hoseok’ still form leaning against the closed closet.

How come she had not noticed him before?

But that soon became least of her concerns when she saw the gleaming device h was playing with.

The phone.

She paled at the realisation.

He had found that fucking phone.

“So that’s why you were so lost? I wonder where you got this toy of yours, Love?”

She felt her stomach twisting as her eyes watered. But there was no time to think. With her reflexes kicking in, she turned and ran towards the bathroom, knowing that he had probably already locked the door.

She registered his grip a moment later than the feeling of vanished gravity. His grip was rough around her waist as he heaved her up in the air, eliciting a broken scream from her lips.

He was everywhere.

Outside her work, he would be waiting for her with his car.

He would there outside her house on weekends.

He would be there whenever she would be somewhere out.

Jung Hoseok was everywhere. He was creeping into her life like a disease.

“How was work?”

That was the first thing he heard when she stepped in her dark apartment. All the tiredness hanging her shoulder down dissipated and pure adrenaline pumped in while she stumbled to switch on the lights.

Her hands were still shaking and her heart kept thumping against her ribs as light flooded the apartment, revealing the man she swore she would never meet again.

“I had a cup of coffee due.”

Her gaze dropped at he still-steaming cup of coffee in his hold, fingers with rings curled around the handle. His eyes were focused on the brown liquid though.

“Wh–what are you doing in my house?”

At that, Hoseok looked up. It was like she was looking at a stranger– there was nothing airy, or light about him. Everything in her wanted her to back away slowly while maintaining an eye contact. But she stood her ground.

It was her fucking house.

He had already planted himself everywhere she went– regularly or not. She would not lose the sense of security in her house as well.

She stood stiff and alert, ready to run if she needed to.

“Come in, I prepared a cup for you too.” He patted the cushioned seat beside him lightly.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

At that, he tilted his head.

“I thought we were friends (Y/N), very good friends…” The words felt corrupted from his lips.

He knew that she was scared, he knew that she was tired, he knew exactly what he was doing.

She shut her eyes tightly and took in a breath, bracing herself.

“But I don’t want to be your friend anymore!”

“Aww, that hurt. But that’s okay…”

He paused for a few moments, doubling the tension

“You can be my lover.”

“Wh-hat?”

Hoseok smirked– slow and sinuous

“I simply happen to be unusually fond of you…love.”

—-

He left after that and for a good whole week. But he did leave her spooked.

Yumi was worried and unsurprisingly paranoid. If Jung Hoseok could give away clues without fear, and casually guess Yumi’s next move, it was better to just abandon the investigation, (Y/N) had suggested.

“I think you should rewind a bit, you look pale.” Yumi commented, observing her friend while she took a sip of her coffee.

The days were turning colder and shorter, and a good, piping hot cup of beverage was always appreciated between breaks at work.

“I’m okay. Haven’t seen him for a week though.” (Y/N) shrugged.

Hoseok was like a spider– it was scary when she could see him, but even scarier when she could not.

“Tch, you have to take a stand (Y.N), this can’t go on like that. You need to make a statement. People like him jump from one woman to another like they are clothes.”

Yumi did have a point. If she made a clear, good statement, maybe then he would leave her alone? She had, unlike Yumi, nothing to do with him at all. Nothing persona. Nothing profession. No connection at all.

But his words still rang like a warning bell in her mind.

“By the way…” Yumi began, clearing her throat “The new guy was asking about you.”

“The one at the party? What was his name again?”

“Hyunjae.”

Hyungjae was a decent man in every sense. He would help the old clerks, would buy coffee for his co-workers and even help them complete their pending tasks. Men like Hyunjae were rare to find, but they did exist.

“What about him?”

“I think he has a crush on you.”

“Yumi, men like Hyunjae don’t have crush on women like me– who does not even remember the meeting schedules.”

Yumi rolled her eyes at that comment “I think one friendly date would not hurt?”

“Yumi, no. “

“Why?”

(Y/N) sighed, “Just no.”

—-

The very next week, she was starring back at the menu card at a cafe Yumi had suggested for a date. While (Y/N) did not believe in stereotypes, but it had already been half an hour with no sign of Hyunjae and with a rumbling stomach, she was bound to get a tad bit annoyed.

Maybe if she could order one quick snack and—

“I’m sorry for being late.”

(Y/N) froze– her movements, her breathing, her thoughts– everything stood still.

This was….

She looked up from the menu, only to find Hoseok starring back at her with a sharp smile.

“Quite a date.”

She looked around, only to catch a few faces quickly turning away. She needed to leave.

The sound of his chuckle broke her rushing train of thoughts.

“I have been so patient with you, thought you would get the point. Tch, but you are a sorry, naïve, lonely little lady…”

Somehow, the fake sympathy stung, because everything he said, was somewhere true. Everything she did, boiled down to two core purposes– her dedication to her ailing mother and to just survive.

Maybe that’s why it had been so easy for a man like Hoseok to lure her in. She had dragged on a corpse of a relationship for years only because she was afraid to be left alone, she had accepted Hoseok’s friendship because with him, she did not feel alone.

She did have friends. Good, helpful, understanding friends.

But they had their own lives and their own circles. She never had a best friend after school.

It was only her diary she confided in, freely expressed herself. Other than that, there was only a sense of loneliness. Even if she did want to reach out, it did not feel as easy or simple as it seemed to be.

She did not want to be bother.

But maybe, she was not a bother. Maybe she should have chosen her old friends over Jung Hoseok.

Because as she watched him light up a cigarette with his knuckles turning white. She knew that she was not getting out of this mess anytime soon. She should have been firm. But she did not want to be rude, or upset her only office friend- Yumi.

He checked his phone and smiled.

“Oh, I have a very good news for you by the way…” He began.

His smile stretched into a malicious grin. A happy face had never been so terrifying to her before.

“Your mother is being shifted to hospital owned by me. Poor lady, at her condition, she needs the best care. But now she would not have to worry, I shall provide that to her.”

How could she underestimate his reach?

She was stupid. Absolutely the dumbest idiot in the whole world.

And Hoseok was cruel. His snigger told it all.

Why did he even bother to try to stifle his laugh?

“Aww, honey, there is no need to cry. Your mother is safe. She is having the best care provided to her…But the rest…” he paused, to smile– and (Y/N) understood what it was like to hate someone smile “...the rest depends on you.”

Now she understood what that creep had scurried away quietly the night she met Hoseok for the first time.

She flinched when he leaned in to wipe away her incessant tears. With her lips quivering, breathing shortened and vision blurring. She felt cold all over.

“Breath, its alright. Here, try to take some deep breaths.”

He was by her side at once, his hand rubbing her back. There was an unending ringing in her ears.

“What have I ver–ever done to you?”

She was tired. Tired, angry, afraid.

“Nothing, love. You have done nothing.”

“And yet you—why are you doing this?”

He simply smiled.

“You can do a lot too, love…like marry me.”

The next thing she knew, she was slammed on the bed. It did not hurt, but it did leave her breathless. Her heart thundered against her chest as her vision blurred with unshed tears. Under the lighting, Hoseok seemed far more sinister than he had been a few hours ago under the night sky.

“What’s the hurry, (Y/N)?” He sounded like a python coaxing its prey right before crushing it.

He was the python.

He realised it when she felt his fingers wrapped around her neck, holding her in place. She gasped for air, mouth wide opened and tears freely running down from the corner of her eyes.

“Tch, tch, tch. And I thought you had some fucking brains left in that empty head of yours!.” He snarled.

His words hurt because deep down, they were true– she was dumb, she was too stupid. She wouldn’t be where she was had she not been an utter idiot.

She attempted to gasp, turning desperate when his hold around her neck tightened. She grasped his wrist with shaking hands, clawing with futility.

“It's a pity…she goes whoring around for government agencies while I plan a holiday for her.” He grinned, squeezing her neck tighter for a long moment before loosening his hold.

(Y/N) gasped and wheezed, taking all the air into her lungs even when it hurt. She rolled over and fell on the floor, feeling her knees turn boneless and her vision partially darkening. Holding her neck, she turned to look at him with wide eyes and quivering lips, the only reflex left was to escape. To run far away, but she was frozen.

Hoseok ran his fingers through his hair, storm ranging in now glassy eyes. His jaws ticked and with every breath he took, it looked like he was committing homicide in his mind.

“I have been too lenient, haven’t I?”

She had been terrified of him before, but this time, she was petrified. Hoseok had never physically hurt her before, but her throbbing neck lit a new fear in her, while her hatred for him reached a new height. She was still wheezing when he grabbed her hair, forcing her to look up.

“You think they are here to help you? You think they will treat you like a fucking victim? Oh no honey, they are going to treat you like a fucking mob wife that you are. Once they have everything they need against me, they will throw you away to the wolves. You are just as tainted in everyone’s eyes to them!”

“You are a l-liar!” Despite her struggle, she managed to cry out loud, expressing her anguish.

“A fucking liar! You made them drug me every day!” She screamed, not bothering about her highly disadvantageous position. The worst was already starring down at her.

Surprise laced Hoseok’s face for the first time in the night the cruel glint returned soon after.

“I see…Is this their fucking game plan? You are such an easy target.” He let out a callous chuckle and let go of her hair,

“I don’t tolerate betrayal, love.” There was a glint in his eyes as he reached out for something on his back.

She saw the gleam first before realizing what it was. But it was too late. The muzzle of the gun was already pressed against her forehead. She froze with pure fear.

She wanted freedom, not death!

“I don’t forgive them, I don’t forget them…You know what I do to them, don’t you?” The cold metal trailed south, booping her nose “I make them scream, and writhe and cry until their soul trembles.”

With sinious half smile, he lowered the gun further, probing it against her quivering lips. The fear in her eyes made him shiver– it was both thrilling and satisfying. She had betrayed him. No one dared to betray Jung Hoseok and live to tell the tale.

“But you…”

He began, purposefully dragging his words as he watched her frightful eyes widening as he pushed the gun further, the metal tapped heavily against her teeth, making her gasp. But that was enough a slip-up for Hoseok.

“I can forgive you darling.”

With that, he pushed the barrel of his gun into her mouth. The metal scrapped agaisnt her teeth as it slid in. Her eyes closed before flashing with utter terror.

Good.

He thought to himself, keeping his emotions and tears at bay. He would never admit it to anyone, not even her. But her betrayal hurt. It burned and cut through him. But he would admit, it was not surprising.

Hoseok was no fool. He knew that she was not in love with him, but he believed that with time, she would settle– she was settling.

Until some fucking dogs came sniffling behind.

He did everything for her, for them. But she betrayed him.

“What do you think they would do? Give you a crown?”

He could not help but chuckle at her naivety. Her eyes did not help it either. Large, fearful orbs starring back at him–he lived for that. He liked to say to himself that he did not like the fear in her eyes. But that would be a lie.

“They would use you for defaming me, trying to destroy me, using you as a key and then, throw you away like a used ragdoll.”

He pushed the barrel further in with venegenance, making her choke into it and gasp.

“You are nothing but a pawn to them– a useless, stupid pawn. You think they can save your mother? You dead mother?”

He watched as more tears escaped her eyes, his words denting her confidence. No, breaking it completely.

Her mother had passed away month ago a in peace. He made sure that everything was taken care of, she was given a simple but dignified funeral, and buried in the graveyard only people close to him were to be buried. He had been a good son-in-law.

He was being a good fucking husband, keeping the news from (Y/N) because he knew that it could break her.

The words just slipped out, but it slipped out just at the right moment

“Had it been anyone else, I would have just fired” He hissed, pulling the barrel a little before pushing it again, watching her shaking form.

Finally, he pulled away the gun, the thin string of saliva connecting the barrel and her lips made him smirk. He would teach her a lesson she would never forget. They would have plenty of time for that.

“Stay put.”

He warned, dropping his mocking smile. He motioned with his gun, not letting his eyes flicker off her form as he dialled his most trusted man.

“Is the helicopter ready? Hmm, keep low.”

Hanging up, he grabbed her arm and pulled her up. She whimpered pathetically, but not an ounce of regret flashed in her eyes.

But she soon will. She would regret even considering betraying him.

He would make sure of it.

“You are going to be fucking sorry, love.”

He dropped all pretentious, sugarcoating and veils altogether. If she saw him as a monster. Fine, he would show her what a monster he was and how a monster loved.

She remembered that they had promised to brig her mother to safety. But she had no real time update. Her mother was her only family left.

And she was dead now.

The only hope, the only string that Hoseok would pull now and then was gone.

He kept the news from her.

A month.

Her mother had been dead for a month.

And he kept it from her.

(Y/N) forced down a whimper. Her legs were almost numb, her whole body felt stiff and frozen. But her heart won’t stop thundering.

Was this all a mistake? Where were they?

Why had they not ambushed Hoseok yet? She had blindly jumped into the dark after hearing a hopeful voice and—

Hoseok froze before she registered the distant gunshots. Hope flared within her at that. But it was short-lived as Hoseok began to drag her towards the closet.

“No! I will not go with you! I had ENOUGH!”

Her throat was raw with screaming. She did not care that she as hysterical. She finally had the chance to be free, she would take it, no matter what!

“Don’t be foolish, they can never win against me. You are just making things difficult for yourself. Don’t make it worse for you!” He hissed, the veins on his side popping to indicate that despite his low tone, he was boiling inside.

(Y/N) shook her head, attempting to pull away from him. But she was of no match against a trained killer.

“NO! YOU ARE A MONSTER!”

Hoseok’s eyes burned into hers when he glanced back briefly. But he was silent for now, focusing on dragging her with him, not even paying attention to her nails digging into and stretching against his skin. He did not even bat an eye at the blood flowing out.

She looked at the entrance of the suite expectantly.

Please hurry up!

“No one is going to come here and make it out alive, darling.”

His voice dripped with venom as he continued to drag her further away from the door. Uncaring if she bumped into things in order to resist.

Despite the fog of fear and uncertainty, she managed to grasp a bottle of wine put in the ‘gift basket’-- one Hoseok was supposed to open at night. Grasping the bottle, she swung it right at the back of his head.

“ARGH! Fuck!”

His hold loosened immediately, but she did not wait, she jerked away from him, not even turning to look at his staggering form, she made a run for it.

The door as open, thankfully. But she knew that she needed to be careful. She stumbled, realising that she had left the phone in Hoseok’s grasp. Cursing, she kept running forward.

It was now or never.

The gun shots echoed after slight pauses.

“Madam! Madam! Why are you outside?”

The fucking dog of his!

Hoseok’s men were loyal to him, and their loyalty was tested by their respect for his wife and the only woman whom he had allowed the reign of his estate– under his watch, of course.

The man grasped her body, eyes searching for potential injury.

“Madam we are under attack! A rival group.”

A rival group! Wasn’t the police there?

“I was on my way to warn—”

The shattering of a window beside them had them both ducking for cover.

“Madame! Where is Sir?”

His question did not register for a few moments. The police were supposed to reach here. Who were those people?

“Madame?” The urgency of his voice made her spill out the necessary part.

“He-he’s in the room.”

He frowned, gaze flickering between the wide-open door and the her. But with some twisted miracle, he did not get much of the time to think, the gunshots grew louder and another windows shattered.

“Madame! Listen carefully. Please, run straight and turn right. 3368 is the code to the staircase exclusively used by staff. It’s also an emergency route. When you turn right, you will find a room on the left, beside the elevator. Get into the room, then the closet. Push the shoe rack away and you will find the emergency staircase. Just don't forget to shut it down. Keep running and at the end, you will find a way to the helipad. Our men will reach there with Master Jung.”

He handed her a mastercard to the room before ushering her out, telling her to be fast.

He did not need to tell her. She needed to be quick. She needed to reach there before he found Hoseok. She rushed out of the hallway.

“GET HER!” Her heart leapt to her throat when she heard Hoseok’s yell.

At least now she knew that she was not a murderer.

Glancing back, caught a brief glance of her deranged husband rushing towards her with his trusted bodyguard, his one hand clutching his bleeding head. But before they could close the distance, a series of gunshots filled the room, compelling them to duck and take cover while she got the chance to slip out.

His rivals were there.

With wobbly feet, she reached the suite room and opened it, not even daring to turn back, only hoping that she had not caught their eye. Locking the door, she quickly rushed to the dimly lit closet. The shoe rack stood with the pretence of being heavy and unmovable, but she could slide it with some effort.

A short breath of relief escaped her lips at the sight of the locked door to the staircase. Not wasting another moment, she put on the code and opened the heavy door. The sound of nearing gunshots quickened her movement. It would be a matter of minutes before she would be discovered if she delayed any further.

Sliding the shoerack back into place, she shut the door, and it locked immediately.

The staircase reminded her of the escape games she would play in her freetime. It was spiralling, long, lit but void of another soul. She suspected it would be soundproof too– there was no disturbance of gunshots or attacks. Just silence and the echo of her quick steps.

As promised by Hoseok’s bodyguard, the route did take her into an opening that had a helipad near a cliff, overlooking the vast and ranging ocean.

It was dark, but the helipad was lit.

And yet, there was not a soul in the place. Only the sould of the crashing waves underneath reminded her that she was outside the radar of Hoseok’s rivals.

Her only hope was to find an escape from there. Nearing the cliff, she looked around. There was a ferry station beyond the resort premises. She could see the light clearly. She just had to—

“(Y/N)!”

Hoseok’s voice thundered as he burst out of another opening, expertly hidden behind a small watertank.

Perhaps it was a quicker escape route.

She watched as he rushed towards her, his gun in his hold and the collar of his shirt bloodied, likely from his own blood. But looking at the blood on his torso, she doubted the theory.

(Y/N)! Come back here now!”

She glanced at the ferry station wistfully.

Even if she tried, she would never reach there. Her way to freedom was so close yet so far. She did not know if the girl was a part of the State Authorities, or had been a spy for the rival all along?

Why would life be so cruel to her? Dangling freedom before her, only to snatch it up just as she touched it?

Looking at a an enraged Hoseok, she knew that she could never go back. He would make her life a living hell. He was not one to forgive easily. And she betrayed him. Hit him when his back was turned, quite literally.

(Y/N).Stop.Now.!” He warned, waving his gun at her, as she continued to back into the edge of the cliff.

He stopped a few feet away from her, cautiously glancing at the her feet. One step back and she would fall.

“(Y/N), come back. I will forget this night, I promise you.” Hoseok offered, composing himself and tucking his gun away, motioning the guard with him to step back.

But she would not fall for his lies anymore. She had enough.

“NO! I know you never would. You already made my life a living hell!” She cried, letting tears flow freely.

“I gave you everything anyone would ever want!”

“Everything anyone would ever want? What do you know of it? All you have ever known, all you ever did was to snatch, seize and possess! This is not love Jung Hoseok! This is not lo–ve. Its a vile thing!” She burst out

“But I love you, I have always loved you!”

“THEN YOUR LOVE IS VILE! VILE AND ROTTEN LIKE YOU. YOU MADE ME INTO YOUR FUCKING TOY, A PET, BLOODY PET!”

She spat out, with anguish and venom rousing in her blood. Everything was deloslate and hopeless for her now. There was no sign of the police, there was no hope of an escape.

“But it is true. I am vile, (Y/N), the vilest thing from hell but I love you! I will forget about this transgression and—”

Her cold laughter caught him off guard. It was a rare and always cherished sight for him, yet this time, the sound and view of it made him break into cold sweat.

“T–ransg–transgression you say?”

Her shoulders shook almost vilotently as her neck was thrown back. Her laughter grew louder, but her tears never ceased.

“Transgression? This?” She hissed and pointed wher forefinger towards herself.

Her face reflected pure range and anguish. Everything he had ever done, he had snatched away from her flashed before her eyes. And after all that, seeing him in pain, she realised that a part of her was delighted.

“Do you know what truly transgression is? It is uprooting someone from their life, invading someone’s life and privacy. It is every.Fucking.Thing you did to me!” She snarled, all her suppressed emotions and resentment came flooding in with vengeance.

Hoseok raised his hand and took a slow step forward. One step back and she would be falling into the unforgiving ocean.

“We can start afresh, Love. I will try, we can be better. I am willing to forget everything. But please…” He begged.

No, he could not afford to lose her. Even if it was wicked and twisted, he did love her. He knew that it was something far beyond ‘love’, something raised from the depths of hell. He would forget her betrayal, he understood where it came from.

But he was not ready to lose her.

“Please come back to me!”

Come back to my arms, I will be better.

He would giver more freedom, take her to vacations every other month, maybe even allow her to work– he had many companies under his name, after all. Yes, that would suit both of them.

Hope flared in his eyes as he watched the range on her face soften. But it broke him to watch her expression turn painful. He knew he was the cause of it. A good man would have let her go at this point.

But Hoseok was not a good amn, he had not a single good bone in him, no, he was selfish, wicked, obsessive, smothering. He was everything a woman would run away from.

She would not fall for his lies.

Jung Hoseok would forget nothing, he would not forgive this betrayal.

He was the python who crushed her soul slowly and painfully. She let out a shuddering breath.

She had almost tasted freedom, she could never go back into her cage without strangling a part of her. She looked back at the ferry station, the lights seemed to mock her. The wind, the ocean, those mountains, the sleeping birds, the chirping crickets and the happy people who might not be able to afford a suite at a luxury resort like Hoseok— they all had one thing she could never have.

And her mother? She wished her mother could forgive her. She wished things were different, she wished she were better.

Oh, she could only do that…wish

She took a shuddering breath and felt cold breath washing over her. There was nothing comforting left. She looked at him through her tears. He took one tentative step forwards.

“(Y/N), come back?”

And she turned around and jumped into the the darkness of the ocean, responding to the crashing waves’ siren calls.

“NO!NO!”

Hoseok’s legs were moving even before he screamed. He could hear the muffled voice of his bodyguard but his eyes were following her.

And he jumped right after.

***

Here is Hoseok's part. Only Namjoon's remain. The last and the longest.

#yandere bts #bts yandere #yandere mafia bts #yandere hoseok #yandere jhope #yandere mafia hoseok #yandere hoseok smut #the taste of deceit #the taste of deceit hyungline #yandere mafia #yandere hoseok x reader

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angelicyouth · 2 years ago

Text

Youth ; Chapter 4

⇢ pairing: kenny mccormick x marsh!reader x craig tucker

⇢ synopsis: ❝Growing up with the boys as the sole girl of the group, it was only natural for them to grow protective over their pseudo-little sister as the years went by.❞

⇢ warning: underage drinking

⇢ [AO3 link] ; [series masterlist] ; [previous] ; [next]

All my life, I’ve always found beauty in chaos. It has its way of following the boys and I around, constantly looming over our shoulders—overcast but responsible for many precious memories. When it becomes overwhelming, the knowledge that we’re always in it together makes everything seem smaller and possible.

This is the first time I’ve faced it alone.

Because growing up, you learn about two people loving each other. It’s impossible not to when it’s etched into our everyday lives—romcoms on the television, love songs on the radio, my mom and dad at home. The sacred marriage is traditionally shared between two and so, a variation of it hasn’t been discussed in the small redneck town of South Park.

I became terrified that there was something wrong with me, that I was terribly sick and in need of help. Because as far as I knew, no one else felt the same way. It scared me enough to the point where I just tried to suppress it, ignoring it in hopes that it’d somehow resolve itself and disappear. It’s frightening to think of because everyone wants someone to love and cherish. I knew I was different and I was scared.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

When the girls delivered the news of my acceptance into the cheer team, I informed them of my commitment right away. This decision would’ve been surprising a month ago but it was an excellent method of distracting myself. Although I was initially bummed out at how lonely I felt when the boys became busy with football, not having to make an excuse to get some space from them turned out to be a godsend. Granted, they still didn’t know about cheer because our practices lined up perfectly.

The announcement of the first football game coming up led to excitement throughout the school but for me, it unknowingly set the gears in motion to ruin. It started with throwing myself into cheer, forcing myself to unhealthily strive for perfection. Coming home tired, I’d then immerse myself in homework. Pages upon pages of supplemental material that was not mandatory were then consumed when the upcoming coursework was finished. Sleep became rare because lying down in bed, waiting for sleep to overtake me allowed enough time for unwanted thoughts to consume my mind.

I felt numb, as if I was watching myself from the outside, screaming at myself and trying to take control but unable to. Stuck on auto-pilot, going through the motions of everyday life: school, practice, homework, repeat. My memory became hazy, tunnel vision forcing me to just forget. It started off small and back then, it was manageable. But now I feel like I’m floating, lost and alone.

Seeing the red mark on my paper, the low number felt like it was mocking me. My hands begin to clench in frustration, creases ripple throughout the offending material until small tears upon it begin to form. What use am I when I’m already so sick, if I can’t even get good grades with all the time spent forcing myself on books?

A failure, is what.

Disgusting, even.

Repulsive.

I shakily turn the doorknob, lightly closing the door behind me lest I make a sound. I rummage, digging deeper until I find the temporary salvation I’m looking for. Nervous tremors reverberate along my hand as I don’t want to get caught. Searching and searching until shaking digits feel smooth glass, cold yet inviting.

My brother’s hidden alcohol stash.

The amber liquid burns down the length of my throat, the stinging a welcome feeling because I deserve the pain. This is what I needed and although temporary, I finally feel a sense of euphoria. Laughter emerges through the hurt, steadily growing louder and louder. There’s this near overwhelming feeling in my chest and I feel drunk on happiness until my body starts to rack in erratic shudders. I’m sobbing, I realize.

I want to curl in on myself and die in the safe confines of my bathroom but I feel bile start to slowly rise in my throat. It feels like I’m throwing up my intestines but it’s nothing but stomach bile from the lack of food. I hunch over the toilet bowl, my head aches and my chest feels so heavy. I cough and try to loosen up the tightness I feel in my ribcage but nothing helps, tears continue making their way down my cheeks.

I feel so mangled, like nothing makes sense anymore. I feel utterly lost, like I’d have a better chance at surviving in a scorching hot desert by myself than this. I’m in such a state of oblivion that I don’t notice the crowd beginning to form in the bathroom. Hands grasp at my shoulders until I tiredly pick up my head from the toilet seat, not caring about how disgusting it is. How disgusting I am.

The toilet flushes and a hand softly wipes my mouth with tissues before a new one is gently patting my cheeks dry. The action proves to be futile as tears continue to pour, relentless in escaping the confines of my tired red eyes. These hands are taking care of me in a way that is so nurturing and tender that I can’t help but to feel like I don’t deserve this kindness. I weakly lift a hand and try to swat the person away, shame filling me to the core.

“Shh, it’s okay.” I’m somehow able to make out Tweek’s worried form from the tears blurring my vision. The boys are behind him and the amount of bodies have them spilling out of the door frame. They’re all watching the scene in front of them in horror, completely lost and feeling useless.

“Leave me alone.” I babble hysterically. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. I especially don’t want to see any of them. I only did this because no one was home, my parents out for date night. No one was supposed to be here.

The edge of cool glass touches my lips and I see that Butters is trying to gently urge me to take a sip of water. I don’t relent, my cries echo into the bathroom as the blonde’s other hand rubs soothing circles onto my back. Ripples of water touch my lips but I don’t allow them entry as sobs rack my entire body.

“Y/N, breathe.” I hear multiple voices in the background and I can’t discern who anyone is because this all feels like a dream, like a nightmare. I clench my eyes shut in a pathetic attempt to stop the tears.

I sob, “D-d-don’t touch me, you’ll get sick too.”

“It’s alright, baby. It’s probably just the flu or something.”

“No! N-not the flu.” I go back to hunching myself over the toilet bowl, bringing my arms up to settle my head into.

“What is it then, N/N?” I just shake my head in shame, my knee knocks over an empty can of beer in the process.

“We can’t help you if we don’t know what's wrong, babe. Tell us what’s wrong.”

I don’t respond, merely shaking my head again.

“You being sad makes me sad. Please, what’s wrong? We just want to help you feel better.”

Hands try to help guide me into a standing position but I let out a whine, refusing to budge. A sigh can be heard and I peek my head up to see my brother. He looks as lost as I feel.

“Will you at least talk to one of us if the rest of us leave?” He softly says and I feel bad, guilt consuming me. This is my problem, none of them should get dragged into it. Yet here they are, always sticking their noses into places they don’t belong.

I shrug.

“Y/N. Please.”

I burrow myself back into my arms, “Kyle.” I lowly mutter out.

Kyle, to me, is someone that I’ve always known to be both logical and empathetic. He’s a great older brother to both Ike and I, a person anyone can depend and rely on. He gives the best advice and his perspective on things always helps broaden mine. He’s always there to listen to me talk about anything or nothing at all.

Shuffling can be heard as everyone hesitantly disperses from the bathroom, the door shutting lightly behind them. I feel someone settle themselves behind me on the floor, their legs on either side of me. When I see that it’s the person I requested, I allow his arms to guide me into his caring embrace, leaning my head onto his chest.

He kisses the top of my head, and softly asks into tufts of hair, “What’s wrong?”

“Something’s wrong with me.” I hiccup.

“There’s nothing wrong with you... You don’t have to tell me now, okay? Just take your time. I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere.” His arms tighten their hold around me.

I indulge myself in his comfort and burrow my face into the crook of his neck, seeking out his warmth against the contrasting cool tile lying underneath us. He doesn’t say anything when my sticky cheeks touch his skin.

“I love you.” He reassures me quietly despite the silence of the bathroom around us.

“And it hurts me to see you like this.” His voice cracks, making me feel worse. The kindness feels suffocating, consuming my body until I start to quickly gasp for air. Tears of frustration picks up, messily spilling their contents down already irritated cheeks.

It pains me to do this to the people that care, to push them away and hurt them when all I want is to surround myself in their solace. I try to speak up, babbling as hiccups start to rack my entire body.

“I can’t understand you, love.” Kyle softly says, “Take a deep breath, please.”

I desperately try to get some more air into me, one of my hands shoots out to shakily clutch at the material on his chest in an attempt to ground myself. “You’re doing good. Keep taking deep breaths for me, okay?”

I feel myself steadily calming down as I allow his soothing voice to guide me, focusing on the feel of fabric underneath my fingers, “There you go. Good job, beautiful. Tell me, what’s going on?”

“I’m sick.” It hurts me to say this because verbalizing my thoughts and feelings will speak it into existence, confirming that this is definitely real and that it’s actually happening.

“You’re not sick, N/N.” He patiently reassures me, his words of affirmation encourage me to continue.

“I am, Ky. I am. I’m disgusting.” I bitterly laugh, reciting the self deprecation I’ve been internalizing lately.

“No one thinks that of you, but tell me why you think you are.” I’m terrified to tell him and for Kyle to start hating me but I need to tell someone before I drive myself insane.

“I… I think I lo-... I think I like two different people… No, I know I like two different people.” I clench my eyes close, anxiety coursing through me as I await for his response. My heart beat starts picking up in pace and my hands begin to get clammy.

“... I don’t think I’m following. What's wrong with that? People have crushes on multiple people all the time.”

“No, no. It’s different.” I hesitate but with liquid courage still flowing through me, I decide that it’s now or never. “I think I like… Uh… Kenny… And Craig… Kenny and Craig… Yeah.”

It’s quiet for a moment too long and I start to worry.

“Wow, uh. I’d rather you not like anyone at all but I guess I’m just glad that it’s people I know and trust. This is still surprising though, I think I’m having a hard time processing this because I don’t think I’ve ever heard of you liking anyone.” It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my chest at the ushanka wearing teen’s words, his reaction a lot more mild than what I was expecting.

“You still don’t get it, Ky. Kenny and Craig. They’re not just crushes. I like them. Both of them, at the same time.”

“Okay, and?”

“It makes me feel bad… It makes me feel guilty because if for some reason, one of them were to ever like me back, I’d hate to ruin the years of friendship we have. To ruin the group dynamic and make things awkward if something were to happen.” I quietly confess.

“But most of all, I feel like I’m cheating on the other, I guess. I feel selfish. I know I’m not dating either of them but emotional cheating is still a thing. When I share a moment with one of them, I think about the other and feel terrible. I feel disgusting. I think to myself: how can I do this to him? It doesn’t feel fair to either of them. They don’t deserve that. They don’t deserve me. They deserve to be loved by someone who can wholeheartedly commit themselves to just them, someone who can devote all of their love to them.” My breathing starts to slowly increase as I continue, revealing my biggest concern and the current bain of my existence.

“How do I feel all of this for two people at the same time? What’s wrong with me, Ky? This makes me feel like a bad person but I can’t help what I feel for the both of them. I tried, and it won’t go away no matter what I do. Am I a bad person, Ky? Am I selfish?” Gasps of air start to resound the once quiet room as I struggle to inhale in my steadily mounting hysteria.

“Hey, hey. Everything will work out. Remember to breathe.” He patiently waits until I’ve calmed myself down.

“I can see why you’d feel that way. It’s completely valid but I think you’ll be just fine. The friendship between all of us isn’t that fragile and it’d take a lot to break it, so don’t worry. I’m actually kind of offended that you think so. If that were true, we would have dropped fatass a long time ago.” I lightly smile at the ginger’s words. Making fun of Cartman always cheers me up, it never fails.

“As for Kenny and Craig, I can’t say for certain on what's to happen. But I really don’t think you should feel guilty since you’re not officially committed to either of them. I think this just means you have a lot of love in you to give. And if it ever comes down to it, just be honest. Communicate.” He peers down at me, flashing me a warm smile in reassurance.

“I just know that life gives us hard times, but you’re strong N/N. You’re gonna get through this and you’ll get through this with all of us because we love you and we care for you. You only feel so bad because you care about the both of them so much, pretty girl. They’re both so lucky to have you, we all are.” His grin grows wider, pearly white teeth making their appearance.

“... You think so?”

“Yup, I know so. We’re okay. You’ll be okay. We’ll always be okay.” He kisses the top of my head, gently squeezing the arms around me tighter.

“I’m so proud of you for telling me. And I’m so proud of you for being honest with your feelings. I know it must have been hard. I love you.”

“I love you too, Ky.”

When Kyle and I exit the bathroom, we’re surprised to find the guys waiting for us out in the hallway in worry. I apologize for worrying them as Butters and Clyde pull me into their arms, Tweek nervously hovering nearby for his turn. I catch Kyle’s eyes over the blonde’s shoulder and he tenderly smiles at me, miming himself zipping up his lips and I smile.

Stan doesn’t mention me making a dent in his precious stash and for that, I’m thankful. When he’s not looking, I hide a blunt in between his clothes to find later. That night, I sleep with my older brother, his arms wrapped around me and my head to his chest listening to the other half of me.

I’m going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

The day that everyone has finally been waiting for has come: the first football game of the season. Although things have gone back to normal (well, as normal as South Park can be) and I don’t need the distraction anymore, I’m still a member of the cheer team. And as a cheerleader, I’m required to wear the uniform to school as today is an official game day.

I leave the house early, before my brother even wakes up, and I catch a ride to school from Wendy. To my luck, there's a student council meeting today which is typically held an hour before school starts. I decide to take the time to wait it out in the library, seeking solitude in the quiet space. I know that the boys will eventually make the discovery but I’m going to do whatever I can to prolong the reveal.

My anxiety steadily climbs up as the time goes by and I wait until there’s just enough time to barely make it to class before the bell rings. I share homeroom with all of the boys and it’s the only class with all of us in it.

Adjusting my cheer bag, I take the time to correct my crooked bow and flatten my white, green, and black skirt. After scanning my appearance a final time in the bathroom mirror and making sure that everything is in place, I exit to see that there are only a few late stragglers in the almost desolate hallways. This prompts me to finally make the journey to class as no more detours can be made any longer.

I stare up at the door, my last barrier to the boys, and I silently curse at myself as I dreadfully realize that coming as late as possible means that all eyes will be on me when I make it through the door. I slowly push it open and take a tentative step into the classroom right as the bell rings, keeping my head down in a mixture of embarrassment and anxiety. But before I can get any step closer to my desk, the teacher calls me to his and I wince at my horrible luck.

“Ah, Ms. Marsh. A second please? Your science teacher received an assignment with no name on it and she wanted me to ask if it was yours. It looks like your handwriting so if it is, could you please write down your name on it? She won’t be here today so she left it with me yesterday. Hold on, let me look for it.” The teacher informs me, rummaging through the papers on his desk.

“Now, I know it’s here somewhere…” I internally scream at him to hurry the fuck up.

It’s quiet as the class waits for the morning announcements, only a few hushed conversations can be heard here and there as I awkwardly wait. The seconds go by and when I chance a glance at the clock on the wall, I can spot the guys from my peripherals. I’m presented with varying reactions of raised eyebrows or exaggeratedly dropped mouths. My cheeks redden and I quickly turn my head back to the teacher, fidgeting in place. When I get to my seat, the droning of the teacher gets interrupted as I feel a vibration from my pocket.

GROUP CHAT (EVERYONE)

ICantBeliveItsNot (Butters): thank you so much for helping me with my math hw, kyle! you’re such a thot :) <3

ElfKing (Kyle): I’m a WHAT??

ICantBeliveItsNot (Butters): a thoughtful person? eric taught me a new slang yesterday :3

HawkEyes (Clyde): Y/N!!!

HawkEyes (Clyde): UR IN CHEER?

HawkEyes (Clyde): ???

HawkEyes (Clyde): (picture of me at my desk in my cheer uniform)

HawkEyes (Clyde): (blurry picture of me in my cheer uniform irritated, trying to grab Clyde’s phone)

HawkEyes (Clyde): ????????

HawkEyes (Clyde): or is this some type of sexy cosplay

HawkEyes (Clyde): cause i'm down for either, so

N/N: UR SO ANNOYING LEAVE ME ALONE CLYDE

N/N: I’LL SUE YOU FOR UNSOLICITED PHOTOGRAPHY

HawkEyes (Clyde): HOW CAN I NOT

HawkEyes (Clyde): !!!!!!!!!

HawkEyes (Clyde): (heart eyes emoji) (drooling emoji) (red faced emoji with a sweat drop and its tongue hanging out)

ElfKing (Kyle): Dude.

Congo (Tolkien): Tweek has some coffee if you need something to drink, thirsty ass.

PeruvianPuffPepper (Craig): lmk if ur cold, i’ll give you my jacket to put over ur legs

N/N: <3

PussyMagnet (Kenny): nah nah if you need a jacket take mine, pretty girl

PussyMagnet (Kenny): it’s bigger and bigger is always better ;)

PeruvianPuffPepper (Craig): i doubt urs is warmer w/ all those fucking holes in it

PussyMagnet (Kenny): fuck off, asshole

KrazyKrippled (Jimmy): i agree w/ clyde

KrazyKrippled (Jimmy): i’d come to school everyday if it meant seeing you in ur cheer uniform

GrandWizard (Cartman): no wonder ms. ugoo hasn’t been bitching about football practice taking up our time

ICantBeliveItsNot (Butters): can you fellas stop texting in class, i don’t want the girls sitting next to me to think i’ve got a vibrator up my ass again

ElfKing (Kyle): Huh?

Congo (Tolkien): Pause.

StantheMan (Stan): ur WHAT??

GrandWizard (Cartman): again? wdym again???

ICantBeliveItsNot (Butters): (smiling emoji with its hand covering its mouth)

KrazyKrippled (Jimmy): i-

GrandWizard (Cartman): i fucking hate you so much, butters.

Congo (Tolkien): Oh god, the mental image.

HawkEyes (Clyde): here, let this cleanse ur eyes

HawkEyes (Clyde): (image of me flipping the camera off in my cheer uniform)

HawkEyes (Clyde): (praying hands emoji)

PussyMagnet (Kenny): shit, baby girl

PussyMagnet (Kenny): amen.

N/N: fuck off clyde, my parents wanted me to join so i did

StantheMan (Stan): mom and dad did? since when?? how did i not know about this???

N/N: it’s cause ur actually adopted, stanley. even shelley knew

N/N: step up

HawkEyes (Clyde): who the fuck cares dude, look at this!

HawkEyes (Clyde): (blurry picture of my bare legs and my cheer skirt)

PeruvianPuffPepper (Craig): dude. can you fucking stop

HawkEyes (Clyde): stfu tucker, i saw you save these pictures

StantheMan (Stan): craig???

PeruvianPuffPepper (Craig): (middle finger emoji)

KrazyKrippled (Jimmy): to be fair stan, i think everyone did

GrandWizard (Cartman): you guys are the reason why Y/N is so delusional about not being ugoo

ElfKing (Kyle): STFU cartman, delusion is you calling yourself big boned when you’re really just fucking fat.

GrandWizard (Cartman): AYE!

PussyMagnet (Kenny): give sharon and randy my thanks, stan

HawkEyes (Clyde): for the both of us, pls and thank you

PussyMagnet (Kenny): yeah, i’ll have tweek bake them cupcakes or something as thanks

IHateGnomes (Tweek): wh aaAa ?? ?

N/N: this is why i didn’t tell you guys

ICantBeliveItsNot (Butters): ahhh, pouting Y/N in her cheer uniform!! so cute :D

HawkEyes (Clyde): TAKE A PIC

StantheMan (Stan): QUIT IT W/ THE FUCKING PICTURES

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

In celebration of winning our first game, the boys and I decided to celebrate at the Donovan residence. Glowing embers wash all of us in golden hues as we gather around the campfire we set up, the warmth a contributing factor to our red cheeks along with the stolen booze from our parents. The energy surrounding us is infectious as laughter rings all around us in the air, a wide smile etched onto every face. Low music plays in the background, food filling our stomachs as we begin to roast some marshmallows for s’mores.

A large hand creeps into my vision in silent invitation and my eyes follow up along its owner's arms until I see that it's Kenny standing over me. He flashes me a boyish smile and when I softly place my smaller hand into his, the blonde’s cheeks cutely scrunches up as his teeth start to show. When long fingers wrap around mine, he gently tugs me into a standing position and I escape from the warm confines of the wool blanket that I was sharing with Tweek.

He leads me away from the group, fingers intertwined, a reassuring squeeze as orange hues gradually fade away until darkness surrounds the two of us. Kenny takes off his parka and drapes it over my shoulders before nudging my arm to get me to climb up Clyde’s treehouse, my lips quirking up at his constant caring virtue. I playfully shoot him a look of warning before I start my ascent up the ladder and despite it all, he still lightly taps my ass in jest to let me know that he was indeed, checking me out.

Once we’ve both made it to the top of the wooden structure, he gently wraps his arms around my waist and softly sways us to the beat of the faint music that could still be heard from outside. I giggle as I place my arms around his shoulders, following his slow steps as we launguidly move to the melody playing down below.

“Keeping me all to yourself, McCormick?” I lightly tease, “We could’ve done this down there.”

“You caught me.” He smirks, moving his hands to find purchase at my hips as his thumbs lightly smooth over the skin under my shirt. Goosebumps arise at the sensation and he gently says, “We’ve all been busy lately and after everything that’s happened, I just figured that I didn’t want to let any more time slide like this. I caught a glimpse of what I failed to see and that’s all I needed. I’d trade in a thousand nights for just one with you, Y/N.”

I shyly smile at him, my cheeks slowly heating up despite the dropping temperature. The moonlight streams in through the open window, casting its luminescence over us. The light kisses the handsome visage of the boy in front of me, hugging his features and accentuating the sharp angles that make up Kenny McCormick. On a moonlit night like this, I don’t think I’ve ever seen stars as bright as I did at this very moment.

“Look at the stars, look how they shine for you and everything you do.” The blonde softly coos in time to the music, as our feet glide across the wooden floors.

Our faces are close enough that every small wisp of air that escapes his parted lips lightly touches mine, a ghost of a touch that I wish to release reckless abandon on. I long to dive in and embrace their warmth but I fear that if I do I may sink in too deep, never able to go back up for air.

This close, I study the deep blue of his striking eyes, every shade made apparent from the small distance between us. His eyes are ever expressive, able to articulate all on their own without his lips having to move. Because of this, I never knew why no one ever understood the blonde when we were younger and his speech was muffled from his parka. Their beauty draws in my gaze and at this very moment, I feel like my whole world is reflected in them.

I gasp, spotting something twinkling from the corner of my eye, “A shooting star! Make a wish, Ken!”

“Did you wish for anything?” I excitedly ask, a broad smile adorns my face.

He softly chuckles, gently caressing both of my cheeks with slender hands and pressing a kiss to my forehead. He keeps hold of the sides of my head as he says, “No. How could I? Everything I can ever ask for is right here. You’re a dream come true, Princess. Not much I need when my whole world is literally in the palm of my hands, not even all the money in the world.”

I shove my face in the crook of the teen’s neck in embarrassment, his arms wrap back around my waist as his chest rumbles in fond laughter. I softly sing back to him, “Every word feels like a shooting star, I’m at the edge of my emotions.”

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

The girls and I have a spontaneous day out at the mall, treating ourselves out to gossip over manicures and some much needed retail therapy. Towards the end of the day, we decide on watching the latest romantic comedy that Bebe has been vying to watch, to which we all agree to see for the blonde’s sake and ours lest she complains nonstop. Exiting the heavy doors of the movie theaters, we’re treated to the sight of the mesmerizing, vibrant colors of the sun as it begins its descent to sleep.

Content with the day I just had, I then decide to stop by the shop of my favorite coffee connoisseur on my way home, humming to myself as I jump over every crease I find on the sidewalk in childish delight. Skipping in happiness, I twirl to the beat of the music coming from the headphones over my ears, my skirt flaring all around me at the movement. I abruptly stop as I faintly hear someone calling out my name and I scan my eyes for the source until I see one of my old friends from North Park High.

He crosses the street with a grin on his face, delight at spotting a friend shining through his eyes, “Oh my god! Y/N! I haven’t seen you since what, June?”

I giggle in joy and relish in the warmth of the teen wrapping his arms around me in greeting, “I missed you, Bradley!”

We enter Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse together and I head to the counter to order our drinks as the blonde grabs us a seat. “Hi Tweek!” I happily sing, making grabby hands at the teen behind the counter.

“Ack! My cutest customer!” He laughs, reaching out his non-dominant hand so that I can intertwine our fingers together, the unoccupied one taking my order on the screen. I giggle, “And your favorite!”

“My favorite customer is also the cutest customer! Ngh! Y/N! Who’s that?” The barista asks.

“Hmm? Oh, Bradley? He’s a friend back from my freshman year!” I excitedly inform him, watching as he swiftly makes our drinks. I’ve always found joy in watching him make beverages, his twitching momentarily seizing as he confidently goes through the motions deeply ingrained in his body. His long fingers are mesmerizing as they produce delicious concoctions, his serious expression handsome.

Settling myself at the table, Bradley and I catch up on my old classmates, ooh’s and ahh’s animatedly escaping my mouth as I listen to the latest news.

“I’ve missed you so much, Y/N.” He softly tells me behind the porcelain mug holding the sweet hot chocolate he elected to indulge in tonight.

I playfully punch his arm, gently smiling. “The phone works both ways, Bradley. You know I’m only a phone call or text away. We may not go to the same school anymore but you’re still my friend. I’d be happy to hang out and catch up whenever our schedules align.”

He chuckles and before he can respond, a screeching sound pierces through the quiet ambiance of the cafe as someone loudly pulls out the chair next to mine. Despite not having an invitation, a figure seats themselves at my side, a muscular arm settling itself over my shoulders. I glance to my right in bewilderment, seeing that the self-invited guest joining us is Craig.

The stoic teen lightly squeezes my shoulder, pressing a quick kiss to the side of my head. “Hi, babe. Who’s this?”

“Craig! What’re you doing here? This is a friend from my old school, Bradley!” I giggle at the pleasant surprise, wrapping my arm around his lower back at the waist to bring the two of us closer.

“Hi! It’s nice to meet you.” The blonde greets, confusion crossing his features as his eyes dart between the two of us.

“Hmm.” Craig completely disregards him, grabbing my cup and drinking from it.

“Oh, uh. So, how do you two know each other?” Bradley is caught off guard when the newcomer completely disregards returning his greeting. A nervous smile presents itself on his face at the impartial teen seated in front of him as he tries to continue the one-sided conversation.

When Craig doesn’t respond, I gently pinch his side to urge him to reply. “Huh? Oh, you’re still here. I’m her boyfriend. Right, babe?” He lands a swift kiss to my cheeks, plush lips touching rapidly heating skin as the hand belonging to the arm wrapped around my shoulder possessively grasps my chin to angle it towards him.

My head snaps towards the tall teen after his display of affection as Bradley vocalizes both of our thoughts, chuckling uncomfortably. “Boyfriend? I didn’t know Y/N had someone in her life like that.”

”Oh, you’re not close enough for her to have told you?” One of Craig’s eyebrows pettily lifts up, trying to make the North Parker insecure about his relationship with me.

”Ah, I-… The info must have gone over my head.” Bradley purses his lips, offering the teen in front of him a tight smile.

“Yep.” The chullo wearing teen offers no other words, continuing to sip at the stolen drink, a blank stare on his face.

This causes an awkward standstill in the conversation as I’m lost as to what’s happening, unable to provide any explanation to the confused North Parker. I look between the two boys, Bradley exuding nervous energy and Craig nonchalant. Eventually, the curley haired blonde quickly excuses himself from the oppressive atmosphere in a bid to escape.

“Boyfriend? What was that about?” I question in confusion, my head racking through my memories in panic to see if I forgot something as monumental as the Craig Tucker becoming my significant other. Did I accidentally confess to him the last time we got high or something?!

“Tweek texted us about you being on a date. I thought you went out with the girls today?” He quirks an eyebrow at me and my jaw drops.

“I was! I was just heading home when I ran into a classmate from my freshman year! And why are you guys keeping tabs on me like that?” I sharply turn my head to squint my eyes at Tweek. A clatter is heard as he drops something when he ducks behind the front counter, a shrill Gyah! accompanying the sound.

“You bumped into a guy from North Park, all the way here? Hmm.” It doesn’t sound like he believes me.

“Yeah! He was here because he had to-, wait… Were you jealous, Tucker?” I slyly ask even though my heart feels like its about to rip out of my chest and butterflies will escape through the subsequent opening.

“Of course I was.” He calmly says as he drains the last drops of my caffeinated beverage.

“Yes, you wer—what.” I’m caught off guard at his easy admission, ready to be annoying if he denied it.

“What? Why’re you so surprised?” He finally places the mug down, his undivided attention now on me.

“I just… Uh…”

“I thought you knew that I’ve always chosen you. And I’ll continue to choose you, over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you because for me, there’s only you. So of course I’d be jealous to see you with another boy like that.” My cheeks quickly heat up at his casual admittance.

I shyly mutter, voice soft. “Bradley’s just a friend, Craig. His parents sent him to Camp New Grace when he was younger.”

Recognition flashes through Craig’s eyes, remembering the homophobic Christian camp that Butters was sent to when his parents thought he was bi-curious.

“Ah.” Various shades of pretty red adorn the teen’s cheeks in embarrassment at the misunderstanding.

It was a funny thing. Feelings, and the way that they blossomed in places that they had no business being in. Those very specific stomach churning butterflies and skipped heartbeats were unmistakably there every time I found myself in Craig Tucker’s presence.

“Well, regardless if you were interested in him or not doesn’t change what I said. You are, and always will be, in my heart. You have it now, and you’ve had it since I first laid my eyes on you. You own the biggest part of me already and I would love for it to remain that way.” He averts his eyes, using his unoccupied hand to scratch the back of his head in embarrassment.

My cheeks begin to ache at the ever present smile that presents itself in the boy’s presence. I bring my hand up, gently intertwining my fingers with those on the hand wrapped around my shoulder and lean my head against him.

Whenever Craig says stuff like this, I can never find the words to properly express the elation I experience at his charming words. Happiness floods my entire being to the point that it feels like I’m drowning. Not a bad kind, it’s the most beautiful type of drowning a human being can ever experience. The one where it’s all inside my rapidly beating heart. If I could just rip my heart open and let him see my feelings, then maybe he’d know. Because it would take a lifetime of both actions and words to convey the fondness I feel for this boy.

Despite knowing him all my life, I’m still always in awe that I’ve been given the chance and opportunity to be in the presence of someone as aloof as Craig. Someone notorious around South Park for his cold attitude, never giving girls the time of day.

I’m abundantly grateful to have a person like him in my life that it’d be hard to show any measure of it. Sometimes you don’t need to say words to say what’s in your heart but for him, I want to try. I can only hope to convey at least a small fraction of that with all the things I’m capable of doing on this Earth.

And to start that, I order us another round of beverages and a dessert to share between us, if only so we can stay here, in this moment, a little longer.

song: [yellow - coldplay]

a/n: the song kenny sings along to was what inspired this scene so i highly recommend having this play when you read this section of the chapter!♡

#south park #south park x reader #craig tucker x reader #kenny mccormick #craig tucker #south park fanfiction #kenny mccormick x reader #lalawrites

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themculibrary · 4 months ago

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Texting Masterlist

After the Tone (ao3) - bozuri (Poljupci) G, 1k

Summary: Peter sort of, kind of accidentally forgot his half-finished lab report at the Tower the other day. There began the tricky, convoluted and delicate process of trying to arrange for his report to be returned to him in a timely manner.

or: Nobody calls these days. Voicemails are (somehow) still a thing. And Tony is exasperated(ly fond) beyond belief.

All's Fair in Love and Basketball (ao3) - janonny steve/tony G, 1k

Summary: Tony is hiding in his workshop and his teammates are hassling him with text messages after a game of basketball with Steve goes wrong. Can’t a bunch of superheroes let a fellow superhero lick his injured pride in peace?

Beat That (ao3) - AuroraWest loki/stephen E, 2k

Summary: It's morning in New Asgard and the middle of the night in New York City, but that doesn't stop Loki and Stephen from having a…stimulating conversation via text, complete with photos.

Booty call (ao3) - Just_Bill steve/tony M, 3k

Summary: Tony inadvertently messages the wrong number, thinking he's chatting with someone he met on Grindr. It's Steve's luckiest break all week.

Crossing all the Lines (ao3) - Cobrafantasies sam/bucky E, 9k

Summary: Sexting, phone sex and the real thing. Sam and Bucky cross all the lines.

eat or be eaten (ao3) - TheSistersBread G, 1k

Summary: Accidentally messaging MJ when Tony Stark turns up in his apartment is the best mistake of Peter’s life.

Peter trolls Tony Stark with his two enablers- I mean friends. Tony just doesn’t know what he did to deserve this.

Grilled (ao3) - cincoflex pepper/tony T, 975

Summary: Texts between two people on two different levels.

If You Need Me (ao3) - poetically_ordinary steve/tony, wanda/vision G, 1k

Summary: Steve doesn’t know what he was expecting fully when he sent Tony the letter and the phone, but it's safe to say that this wasn't it.

Lightbulb (ao3) - smol_bird peter/wade, background steve/tony T, 8k

Summary: wHY THE HELL ARE YOU TEXTING STRANGERS AT 2 AM WITH LIGHTBULB JOKES?!

I’ll do you one better: why the hell are you responding to strangers who text you at 2 am with lightbulb jokes?

---

The one in which Peter Parker was brought up not to talk to strangers but does it anyway; and hey, it's not like it goes too badly.

No Place I Can Be (ao3) - tictactoesws steve/tony T, 2k

Summary: When Steve leaves at the end of the movie, Tony slips him a phone with his number programmed into it. A story of resolving issues through excessive texting and (eventually) Halloween costumes.

Peter Parker Is Night Monkey (NOT CLICKBAIT!!) (ao3) - vague_witchy_powers mj/peter, ned/betty G, 12k

Summary: The events of Spider-Man: Far From Home, as told through the text messages of Peter Parker and his friends.

While Peter has to save the world, navigate grief and stress and anxiety, and try to tell MJ how he feels... his classmates set out to prove that he is Spider-Man.

Mr. Harrington and Mr. Dell just want to get everybody home alive.

So Parker's a Stripper... (ao3) - VaguelyAnnoyedWriter T, 2k

Summary: The Academic Decathlon tries to figure out Peter’s secret. They come to the wrong assumption...

Telephone (Long Distance Love Affair) (ao3) - kiss_me_cassie clint/natasha T, 2k

Summary: I fucking love you! I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.

And the rest, as they say, was history...

Texting Gone Wild (ao3) - Sparcina loki/tony, steve/bucky E, 1k

Summary: Tony clicked on ‘Sent Messages’. There, just below that text to ‘Cap’, was…

1h55. Tony: God, Steve, I want Loki so much. Preferably on top, fucking me brainless. I don’t even mind if it hurts.

He had sent that goddamn message, he really had. But not to Steve. He shook his head, trying to shuffle the letters in some other order, but L, O, K, I didn’t form that many meaningful anagrams. Ikol? Okil? Loik?

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” The irony was not lost on him. He was going to die tonight, thrown through another fucking window, because he was texting the wrong guy.

In which Tony texts his (lethal, godly) crush instead of his friend, and it's both a mistake and the best idea he's had in a very, very long time.

The Baffling Case of Theo G (ao3) - lcy2 N/R, 1k

Summary: spiderman: THERE ARE MULTIPLE QUICKSILVERS????????

scarletwitch: this is far more entertaining than expected

—

short chat fic that’s exactly as self-indulgent as my other works.

think of me once in a while (ao3) - etoileslarmoyantes sam/bucky N/R, 1k

Summary: He sits on his couch and takes his phone out of his pocket. "11 new texts from Sam" is what the screen indicates. He takes a deep breath in and opens his message's app. -- or : after Steve died, Bucky secluded himself and Sam tries to be here for him nevertheless.

Where Your Heart Lies (ao3) - Shuufleur tony/bucky T, 2k

Summary: After the Accords, everything was a mess. Then Tony received a lot of files. Then he and Barnes were texting. Then things started to get better.

who needs sleep when you have family? (ao3) - starkskypines G, 3k

Summary: Mr. Stark had said that Peter wouldn’t be coming into Stark Industries on his spring break. He was a kid, he needed to live a little, or something like that. Peter didn’t know how to explain that going to Stark Industries was fun, so he agreed to not come in this week. So there shouldn’t be five missed text messages on his phone from Mr. Stark.

Peter opens those first as he wanders through the apartment toward the kitchen.

What do you think the life expectancy for cats would be on a world with a different gravity level? Like longer or shorter? We think too much gravity would be detrimental right? The daily wear and tear, but what if it’s not? What if it affects cats differently? Cats are weird little freaks. You can’t trust them. They’ll stab you in the back. But they’re also great cuddlers when they choose. Humph. Maybe I should start calling Natasha a cat.

Had Mr. Stark actually typed out the word “humph?” And did he just imply that the Black Widow is a cuddler?

or: Tony texts Peter while sleep-deprived. hilarity ensues.

works of modern art (ao3) - notcaycepollard sam/bucky E, 1k

Summary: About a minute after sending the text (you like what you see, sweetheart?) his phone vibrates.

why the fuck did you text me a picture of your dick, Barnes

Oh no.

Oh fucking Christ, no.

holy shit i am so sorry, he sends hurriedly, wrong number i swear to god, we don’t have to talk about it or mention it ever again. for the love of god please don’t tell Steve.

no, man, we’re cool, Sam replies, and Bucky feels himself breathe, relax back a little against his pillows.

thanks, he types in. Thinks about what else to add, and while he’s hesitating, another text comes through from Sam.

you know, not that I’m criticizing or anything, but you can do better than that pic, Barnes.

Wrong But Right (ao3) - merelypassingtime clint/bucky T, 1k

Summary: In which Bucky receives a text from a wrong number and doesn’t mind at all.

#themculibrary #masterlists #marvel #mcu #texting #texting masterlist

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sailorshadzter · 9 months ago

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some modern jonsa that i was inspired to write after seeing a word prompt list ive since lost since i didnt reblog it lol

tw: domestic violence mention

tbh i had every intention of writing more for this but realized ive written this same plot line too many times & it turned me off from finishing it any further lol

ANYWAYS

His phone rings, an unfamiliar number flashing across the screen.

At once he knows, somehow, within the depths of his mind just who would be on the other end of that call. He reaches, thumb clicking the green button, putting the phone to his ear. “Hello?” He says, but the only response is a small, yet sharp intake of air, then the blare of the dial tone. His hand falls back to his side, phone gripped tightly in his palm- he thinks for a moment he might move on, a wrong number perhaps, but his heart twists and he knows.

So he pulls it back upwards, clicking the number and listening as the ringing begins once more.

She gasps, the phone she holds lighting up, the number she’d only just dialed a few moments ago flashing on the screen, calling her back. Her heart skips a beat, a tremor of fear rushing the length of her spine, but she steels her heart against it and answers the call. “Jon…?”

Jon…

The voice is familiar, despite the time that’s passed since he last heard it. “Sansa…” he greets softly, gray eyes closing for a long, silent moment. “It’s been a long time,” he continues, perhaps with a sharper tone than he intends, opening his eyes so he might stare at the single photo he keeps on the table beside his couch- it’s from five summers back, when Robb had been alive and his time was so often spent with the Stark family that he was usually mistaken for just another of their many children.

She knew this was a mistake.

It’s been nearly three years since she last saw Jon, since she even spoke to him, let alone saw him, so why would he want to talk to her now? Besides… It wasn’t like he’d tried to call, either, at least not recently. “I know,” she says, holding onto whatever bravery is left in her heart. “I’m sorry.”

Her voice breaks over the syllables of apology and something tells Jon that this nine o’clock call on a Tuesday night isn’t just to catch up. “Sansa… What is it?” He softens now, empty hand tightening into a fist at his side, his mind whirring with every possibility.

On the other end, Sansa steps into the bathroom, flipping on the light so she can stare into the mirror. The face that stares back at her is one she almost doesn’t recognize, not with the bruises and the tears, the eyes haunted by what’s been done. She shudders, closing her eyes for another moment more, wishing she could find the words to say to him. “I… I need help.” She finally says, softly, brokenly, a fresh tear falling down her face.

The silence that falls lasts all of twenty seconds before he speaks.

“I’ll be there tomorrow.”

[ x x x ]

When his truck pulls into the driveway, she’s already at the door.

She slips out the front door so she can stand there on the front steps, watching as he climbs from his truck and makes his way up the drive, looking quite like a man that’s drove all night long to get to her side. Her heart skips a beat as he climbs up the two steps to stand on the porch, his familiar gray eyes sweeping her up and down. “Sansa…” He says her name in such a way that her knees buckle and he’s reaching for her then, embracing her as he’s only done once or twice before. He’s warm and smells like shitty gas station coffee and cigarettes- he still stress smokes, it would seem.

“Come in…” Is all she says, drawing away and returning inside, holding the door open for him to come in after her.

They stand there in the foyer for a long moment, he merely staring at her, words unable to form on his lips. He swallows, hesitantly reaching a hand out, fingertips trailing along her swollen lower lip, across the ugly bruise that stains her ivory skin black and blue. “When?” He asks, tight lipped and somber, a look in his eyes that she’s never seen before.

“Yesterday…” She admits softly. “Right before I called you.”

Jon nods, taking in the information; he was who she called in her most desperate time of need. “Is it the first time?” He asks next and when she hesitates to answer, he knows it isn’t. “Where is he now?” His next question comes, palm cradling her cheek, his heart thumping so loudly he imagines she must be able to hear it plain as day.

“I don’t know,” she answers honestly. “Maybe his parents house, maybe his flat,” she hasn’t seen nor heard from Joffrey since he stormed out of her place the day before. But, she knows it won’t last- he’ll return home eventually, perhaps with a huge bouquet of flowers, or perhaps a diamond tennis bracelet. Anything he can buy to get her to accept his apology, his tears and promises always enough to convince her that it would never happen again. “He has a place over by the University.” She pulls away, but Jon reaches for her hand, keeping her there. “Jon…” She begins, but sighs, shaking her head. “Thank you for coming.”

“I’m glad you called me…” Jon tilts his head and chuckles softly, drawing her back in for a tight embrace.

She will be safe from now on.

#jonsa #modern jonsa #actuallyjonsa #jon x sansa #i wrote this #my writing

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essaysbyciara · 6 months ago

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forgiveness does not mean the absence of consequence.

tw: intimate partner violence, sexual violence

I sit here and wonder why I chose to forgive the men who hurt me. Why would I? I can count the number of men who’ve helped me on one hand. Those who harmed me? I don’t have enough appendages to note them all. I just know that I had to. Not for them but for me.

Every day I punish myself for believing that they deserve it.

I’m a woman that knows what it’s like to fester in what you’ve reaped. I stay reaping for things that I sowed by proxy of being present in those moments. I need to speak up about grace more often. The moment I believe that grace and forgiveness remain distant from me is when the cross loses its power. But I know that as I sit by watching their lives carry on as I labor on with the grief and shame of somehow letting their act of hatred stain me, I again wonder if forgiveness is truly the only method of solving this madness.

A man spoke death over me. A man threw a glass bottle toward my head. A man wouldn’t stop when my hands pressed against his body in hopes that he would. A man spit on me as I went down to the ground hoping things ould end. A man saw me unable to make cognizant decisions and thought the prospect of sex was worth more than asking if I was okay. A man mocked my father’s fragility during an online spat. “Your Dad was inside the house dying a slow death while you were over here sucking my dick.”

I have yet to forgive myself for running to men as my life ran away from me. Dude who spoke of my father’s “slow death” was one of those escapes. I prayed for his children when I found out he himself left Earth and went to the eternal. Forgiveness comes in many forms.

I’ve been taught through the words and actions of an eternal king that no one is without the opportunity for redemption. Powers drive a person to be their worst selves. Trauma informs. “I just want him to be okay.” That’s all I can ask for in those moments after I found myself on the wrong side of their history. They don’t ever mean to. Sounds like I’m making excuses.

I really do want their hearts to be at peace. I also want them to come to that conclusion before God chooses to no longer give them a way out.

“Their houses are full of deceit; they have become rich and powerful and have grown fat and sleek. Their evil deeds have no limit; they do not seek justice. They do not promote the case of the fatherless; they do not defend the just cause of the poor. Should I not punish them for this?”

I’m asking the Creator to spare them the worst knowing that they won’t be fully spared at all. “I won’t destroy you completely.” There’s always rebuilding after destruction.

I know I’m being spared. I know ducking and dodging the worst. Only after acknowledging my guilt. Sitting in shame, bathing in the disgust of my decisions. Punishing myself recklessly before God can finish the job. Sheepishly hoping as if you did enough self-work to keep God’s wrath at bay knowing there ain’t enough to stop the reign.

Sometimes exile is the catalyst for healing. Being sent outside of the city walls until your leprous spots no longer boil and fester is the only way to keep you and others safe. Destroy and rebuild. Uproot and plant. Remove and re-establish. Again, I know.

Yet I live in the shadows of all the hurt afflicted upon me. I don’t trust men. I don’t trust their intentions. I think most men will surely hurt me, it’s only a matter of time. I self-destruct under pure intentions. My ruins aren’t meant to be loved. I know perfect-for-me exists but I know a man won’t see me as perfect-for-them. I stay out of the way in hopes to not be into anyone’s way.

So I hide to heal. That’s the lie I tell myself.

I need to learn how to forgive myself.

#i write sometimes #i'm an essayist on the other side of the internet

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leqclerc · 8 months ago

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I love that charles loves the team so much and is such a team player, but it annoys me to no end that the person on the other side of the garage is the exact opposite to this. Everytime charles qualified behind and they end up in similar positions on track charles will be willing to be the team player, he'll say he understands carlos gets preference cause he's ahead, "it's up to me to do a better job on Saturday" etc, etc, he never asks for it to be made easier for him. If carlos qualifies behind, we get situations like Austria where he'll go against the teams strategy and demand he be let through because he's faster despite that not being true. Not to mention the blocking in qualy and the dodgy moves on track à la monza last year. Yet somehow carlos has this reputation of being a team player despite there being more instances of him hindering the team/his teammate than helping. The only time he actually acts as a team player is when it's the most obvious thing in the world and he sees the opportunity to milk it (like when he had a grid penalty in France 22 and gave the tow) and even then he managed to mess it up and still made a big deal about "teamwork" in the press to boost his PR. I can't wait for him to be someone elses problem.

So true 🫱🏻‍🫲🏻

Coming back to this ask because I just watched the Channel 4 Suzuka coverage and no joke they had a full puff piece on Carlos in the context of his current form, results, and especially what's been touted as a "feel good story" with his appendicitis -> winning Australia two weeks later. They tried to push the idea of "did Ferrari fire the wrong driver, are they regretting their decision" so hard while saying Charles has had a "meh" season so far (hasn't finished any lower than fourth so far despite his brake issues in Bahrain but I digress) and even put the question directly to Fred (who thankfully didn't rise to the bait and just neutrally talked about focusing on this season.)

So he's definitely got momentum and public opinion on his side with the whole sympathy narrative combined with the results (aided by a hefty dose of luck) raising his stock considerably. If you just look at things from the public/media's perspective... sure it's going to look like Ferrari shot themselves in the foot, like they underestimated Carlos, etc. On paper he's the perfect driver—across articles and in broadcast commentary he's been described as a consummate professional, hard worker, team player and so on. But if you've been following Ferrari closely for a number of years and have been invested in what's going on in that team specifically and aren't just taking a broad view then the cracks start to show. Like you said, we've seen him impede Charles before, we've seen him disobey team orders for his own benefit. These incidents might not be brought up and dissected by the media (or if they are discussed it's usually to paint CS in a positive light, like with the whole "strategy genius" narrative) but it doesn't change the fact that they've happened.

Like say, Max, Carlos is one of these drivers where, when you hire him, you're not just getting him but also his familial entourage as well. It's no secret that Sainz Senior is closely involved with his son's career in a capacity that goes far beyond occasionally attending races to cheer on and support him. Most recently he's been seen hustling, attending meetings with various team principals, and I doubt they met up for tea and biscuits. He's very obviously there for business, lobbying on Carlos's behalf. The access he's granted is far beyond anything a "normal" parent is privy to—because why was he privy to classified information regarding Ferrari's 2023 car and why did he feel the need to tell the media about it with this kind of assurance that next year the car will suit Carlos better. 🤨 He wants to be involved and steer the ship in a direction that best suits Carlos. And that's something you're going to have to contend with and deal with as Carlos's prospective employer.

We know from what Marko and to a lesser degree Horner have said that the Toro Rosso years were far from easy when they had to deal with two highly involved dads prone to politicking within the team—so much so that they had to split them up sooner rather than later, and Max's promotion to Red Bull kind of solved that issue for them. We've seen the impact of this politicking on Ferrari.

Bottom line: if it was only down to Carlos's results then yeah, I'm sure it would be a nonsensical call from Ferrari. But they know far more than we do, they're the ones having to manage both of these drivers and their whole entourage and keep the peace within. Carlos is also the only non-Red Bull driver to win a race in 2023, so it's not like they weren't aware he could bring in these results—and they still elected to let him go for next year, so clearly there must be other factors at play that contributed to this decision. So yeah, ditto to your last sentence 🫱🏻‍🫲🏻

#replies #anonymous #discussions and predictions #and like if they do regret it........... well it'll be on them. time will tell #it's just annoying to constantly deal with people's bafflement at like WHY did ferrari let him go when he's been PERFECT for them #like no he hasn't the issues are very much there you're just choosing to be ignorant

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ohanny · 2 years ago

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since be on cloud gave me absolutely nothing (you know, on top of kind of serving me everything hahaha) i shall pitch my own show:

us as a bright, happy marketing guy (maybe he works in the same company nodt and perth are having their office romance in) who enjoys nice things. these nice things include good food, sleeping in and hot men. the human embodiment of #treatyourself. tried yoga once for the aesthetic, deemed it too much actual effort and considers drunk dancing with his friends on a saturday night his only form of exercise. jj as the personal trainer with a heart of gold who genuinely just loves his job. he is a gym bro to end all gym bros. his clients range from frail grandmas to professional athletes and they all love him and his eclectic collection of wildly patterned workout pants. if you miss a session, he's highly likely to show up at your door with a homemade soup because surely the only reason you missed out on dem gainz is because you are deathly ill. ta as us' intern and work bestie who enjoys going to the gym a normal amount. so basically he really likes the effect his abs have on all genders but also likes the fancy lunches us drags him to and thus needs constant maintenance. one day, for whatever reason, us goes to the gym to pick ta up and sees the love of his life gym god of epic hotness. he immediately corners ta all "where the fuck have you been hiding that and also how do i get his number, i bet he could bench press me, damn" and ta just laughs like "1. he could defo bench press you and 2. lol he basically lives at the gym, good luck trying to get him out of it." naturally this is when us, consumed by thirst and destiny, decides the best course of action is to hire jj as his personal trainer as a way to get into those grandma's brocade couch floral pants. it's not like he will need more than the trial session to achieve that anyway, right?

WRONG. us did not take into account how oblivious and professional jj would be. he shows up to the trial session in light makeup, hair fluffed, charm dialed up to 11 and wearing short shorts that show a lot of thigh and gets nothing but a fitness plan and complimentary diet advice. at that point it becomes a matter of pride. us will bag this gym god even if it kills him. which it very well might because oh god, muscles he didn't even know he had are aching and when he mentioned he wanted to work on his ass *wink wink* he expected more hands on inspection in the showers and less stairmaster. ta of course finds us' despair utterly hilarious but it crosses over to sad when us deflates onto his work desk one day with a whisper of "well, i guess he's straight." and ta isn't one to assume anything but be for real. he has been a gym bro since his teens and has never seen a straight gym bro who a) never mentions any attraction to a woman, even in a totally respectful way and b) unironically listens to barbie girl while doing bicep curls in leopard print yoga pants. "i will talk to him" ta promises and us whines out a "nooo, i don't wanna seem desperate" and dude. ta is not sure what about showing up to an arm day in a crop top and waist chain screams not-desperate but oh well. so next day ta confronts jj while they are working out, asking his gym buddy to please either let us down gently or do something about it and jj... is confused. the sweet oblivious dumdum genuinely had no idea us was even remotely interested. " but he never said anything!" "how much do you think a person can struggle with their squats?" ta hisses. "good form is important! they can be trickier than one might think!" jj whisper screams, offended. ta bangs his head against the weight rack, wishing it would somehow final destination him because how!?!?!?! after having a mental breakdown while jj somehow still goes on to finish his leg press set, ta takes a deep breath and spells out exactly how pathetically interested us is. "so if you want a fun night or a boyfriend or whatever, he's in. just ask him out for dinner or something." "i would rather cook for him myself" jj sniffs. "easier to keep track of macros." personally, ta thinks it would be easier not to be friends with either one of these idiots. but because he is a good person, all he does is sigh and say "you do that" and already mentally braces himself for the upcoming outfit crisis us will make him suffer through. TLDR: us as a dramatic hoe, jj as a gym himbo and ta is the one with the braincell that enables the two idiots to fall in love

#be on cloud pitch #i will make my own bls with gym bros and crop tops #jj x us #give the boys their own show and throw ta in too #us is too fergalicious not to star in this #jj could just play himself like have you seen that man #but how hasn't there been a gym bl yet #the potential. the shirtless-ness. communal showers. come on.#how did this become so long oops

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greenlabcoat · 1 month ago

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Oh yeah, I forgot to post about it here!

Went to my first Shadowverse: Evolve tournament last weekend, which was also my first tcg tourney in probably a year+. Went with my friends cus it was a considerable drive, and it was a ton of fun! It was a BCS Shop Challenge, technically Idolmasters was legal but no one used it, since it came out the day before.

I went 2-2 to finish 6th, out of... 15ish people I think? I was playing my build of Amataz Fairies

Started off really well, petered out in the 2nd half mostly out of my control

Round 1- W vs Discard Dragon.

Extremely close game, at least at the very end I had to leave him with a 7atk body on field, and he played the 2nd Forte to get exactly lethal on board. fortunately i had Spinaria out and he didnt have enough PP to clear her and play forte, so I lived through the turn and ended the game.

Round 2- W vs Amataz Fairy

Mirrors are so messy lmao. Neither of us drew super well, but i had just enough aggro to kill him through his defense. Pretty close, and he was very new to the deck.

Round 3- L vs Ginsetsu Control

A loss I expected, you just need to highroll hard to win this matchup reliably, or hope they somehow don't draw into ginsetsu in time to stop you. Was fairly close for such a bad matchup at least.

Round 4- L vs ??? Dragoncraft

This was the only loss that tilted me a little, admittedly. She said herself it was just kinda thrown together from cards she thought were cool. Nothing wrong with that, just dont expect to beat meta decks. I proceed to open a really mediocre hand. 4 2 drops with no way to make fairies outside of hoping a Fairy Dragon dies. No way I'm keeping that. Mulligan into an even worse hand. Okay well, she's playing dragon so theres no fucking chance she doesn't have a better late-game than me, and I can't really do much to stop her with this hand. Her hand is also really awful, first blood goes to her on like, turn 6 iirc. I get her low but im not beating dragon in the late game, even if its a unoptimized deck.

The last round ended up leaving 1 undefeated, my friend that I went against round 3, and 3 3-1s, pushing me out. My undefeated friend stayed as such and won the whole thing, proceeding to pull the $200 Leader card he wanted form his prize packs lmao. Dude cleaned house, very happy for him!

Overall I had a blast, the people there were very nice and friendly to us out-of-towners. Getting an even record was really what I hoped for, so I can't be too mad about it. Plus I definitely wouldve lost in top 4 anyways, there was 2 Ginsetsu Control and a Disdain Dragon, my ass wouldve been toasted. As for changed I'd make to the deck, I'd probably reverse my inclusion of Marvelous Sunday as my bounce card. I put it in expecting more Disdain Dragon than Ginsetsu, and unfortunately its pretty useless in the matchups I had. Not sure what I'd put in, I'm still iffy on Ivy Spellbomb personally. I may just replace it with Anastasia, but I worry that lacking bounce completely might be lowering my ceiling too much.

Here's the list I was playing:

Red numbers are the Evo deck count.

#tournament results

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writteninscarlet · 11 months ago

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Peace was never an option. That’s what their actions were screaming at her. Wanda didn’t believe that for one fucking second. There could have been compromise and a level of peace, even if it wasn’t solid or stable. Nothing good came all at once. They could have worked on it together and promoted a level of companionship and trust between nations. Instead, haters would always do what they did best: fear what they did not understand. Wanda know fear well, and though it had long been a curse she could she the gifts fear sometimes could bring. But their fear was unnatural and they were blinded by ignorance.

Mutants and humans were not destined to fight continually. It was not some law of fate, it wasn’t something written in stone that could not be diverted. There was no need to be mortal enemies, when even a grudging rivalry would be better for both parties.

The screams were now vocal and loud and primal. Someone was in PAIN.

Wanda didn’t want to face Kate Pryde’s wrath, the young mutant could be incredibly vicious and was as lethal as they came. Already the organised group was becoming disorganised in the chaos of lost limbs and lost lives. Wanda couldn’t focus too much on what the brunette was doing, she had her own bigots to deal with, but Kate was dancing through the crowds and leaving a trail of bodies in her wake. Wanda was not dancing - yet - but she was moving swiftly and capably.

Her hexes were enough to ward most away, and to take them out completely. For those who dared step even closer, Wanda was kindly showing them the results of training from some of the best physical fighters the Avengers and other heroic teams had to offer.

She was angry. Rage was pulsing through her, a flash fire deep within. It wasn’t all consuming this time like such emotional outbursts had been in the past. Wanda was very much still herself, but she knew that such a rage wasn’t going to go any time soon and that some of her hexes were perhaps stronger than needed. But her rage was fuelled by injustice and pain. There was more than enough fuel to keep the fire going. These anti-mutant haters had picked on the wrong two mutants. These woman were going to obliterate them.

Or close enough.

They couldn’t kill them. Not all of them. Not unless necessary.

It didn’t matter that THEY had started the fight. It didn’t matter that Wanda and Kitty had been doing no wrong. They were simply two friends in a public space. It didn’t matter that THEY would happily kill the two mutants or make a show of them. This fight would end up in the news if it wasn’t somehow hushed up first, and it would be the mutants of the world who would come of looking worse.

There was a flashing pain in her side as she released someone had thrown something - a knife? A pole? Something. Didn’t matter what unless she somehow found out that there injury was infected later. It was enough to know that it was bleeding, but not heavily. She wasn’t dying on her feet, and she should have seen it coming. The hexes stopped, briefly, as she punched the fucker nearest hee. A clean cut to the throat, a gargling sound from the man perhaps two or three times her weight, down he went.

Her hands moved as quickly as a speedsters, the hexes coming more frequently now. Things were TOO chaotic.

She sensed Kate by her side, and said (though was sure Kate knew it too), “We need to finish this quickly. We’re drawing too much attention. Someone could get hurt.” Someone OTHER than the idiots and bastards currently around them. She didn’t know how Kate was doing either. Wanda thought she could feel a magnificent bruise forming on one of her cheeks, and there was the cut above her hip of course. Probably others. These were humans and no REAL match for either of them. But their sheer number told her this had been organised, and that someone above the level of these goons knew the mutants wouldn’t be prepared to annihilate and kill them. They had to exert restraint. That meant taking a few blows.

“I wouldn’t trust them to organise a piss up in a brewery,” she added through gritted teeth as the end was in sight. A few more fell. A couple left. So was behind it? There were any number of organisations that might wish mutants harm, from Orchis to Hydra to AIM and beyond (to other mutants in fact).

Closed Starter ;; @onlyaphcse

#onlyaphcse #ᗢ ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ once and always a witch ; ic #tw; injury #tw; blood

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dre6ming · 2 years ago

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Sorry, who’s this?

“I stayed there” series- part III

Masterlist here

〘Part I 〙〘Part II〙〘Part IV 〙〘Part V〙

To be added to the tag list click here

Pairing: Austin Butler x fem reader

Warnings: anxiety, cursing, fluff, angst… hope that’s all

Plot: you can’t seem to be able to keep away from Austin and your encounter on the beach repeats but this time a lot more painful as you both remember parts of your relationship

Word count: 3000

As the words pop onto the screen, his reply is picking at the scab present on your heart.

"Sorry, who's this?"

It wasn't real, it couldn't be real. But sure enough is. Another message has your phone buzzing. You pick it up from where you had thrown it on you bed. With trembling hands you unlock the phone, wipe the tears from your eyes and blink trying to clear your vision so you could read what the text said.

"I think you got the wrong number."

You sigh a little, your heart trying to calm down, maybe he had changed his number, maybe you texted a random number. That hope is what gets you to move out of bed into the en-suite bathroom. A look in the mirror confirms to you that you look as exhausted as you feel. Dark circles around your eyes, face puffy from crying, lips red and swollen for biting them over and over again. This residency was a bad idea, LA reeks of him and there's no avoiding that. You shake your head in disbelief. Turing the water on in the shower, you discard your clothes, not even waiting for the water to warm. The cold makes your muscles contract, your heart rate slowing down with each second and though you trick your nervous system into easing the effects of your anxiety, your brain can't be shut off by a cold shower.

After you finish washing all the nerves away, you exit the shower, dry yourself a bit, put on clean underwear and a white summer dress. Paying no mind to your wet hair, you get out in the small balcony. Thank god your room was on the ground floor so you can jump over the banister and land on the carefully trimmed grass in your back yard. Crouching down as you pass your parents bedroom, you make a run for it. You're not a sports person, you don't run, you don't go to the gym, none of that, but you somehow fight the ache in your legs.

When you feel the sand under your shoes, you stop, take off your converse and bury your feet in the sand. After catching your breath, you get up and start walking. Ending up close to the water, you walk along the coast line, feet tingling form the cold water. "God I'm so stupid!" You say out loud, brushing your hands through your slowly drying hair. You can't believe yourself, how is it that you can’t move on? But he's so moved on he doesn't even have your number in his phone. It makes sense to be like this though, you're a nobody, a simple girl, he's a star, he needs a star, not you.

Still it hurts and sometimes you dream of that night you'd met him on this very beach.

~flashback~

The weather is suffocatingly hot, though the breeze of the ocean helped a bit with that. It's mid July and you decided there's not time like the present to do what you've always wanted - sleep on the beach. It might be dangerous, but honestly you'd dreamed of this too much to not do it. You don't own a tent so the best option was to get a couple bed sheets tied to a palm tree and create a makeshift shelter. Laying back you pick up your book and start reading, tonight's choice of reading was a book you're convinced everyone and their mother has read.

Lost in the book, headphones in, your playlist playing, you don't hear when someone approaches you. Startled when the sheet moves to the side revealing a man, you rip your headphones out and pick the first thing you find to defend yourself. The man chuckles lightly taking a few steps back, hands up to say he's not gonna come any closer. "A flash light? Really good choice of a weapon." He's mocking you, you can see it in his smile, which shines even in the dim light your flash light creates.

"Well anything can be a weapon as long as you know how to use it" you fight back trying to hide the fear in your voice. God this was a bad idea, it's 1 am on a dark beach, you're all alone, except for the stranger in front of you. He lets out a laugh, moving one of his hands to brush through his blonde hair. His movement makes you stop breathing, anxiety is creeping up on your body. "Hey, I'm sorry, I don't mean to scare you, I was walking and spotted the tent. I called out but you didn't answer." You swallow the lump in your throat and put the flashlight down, it's of no use anyway. His blue eyes are watching you closely. Letting out a stranded laugh, you close your eyes. "Tent? I don't think you can call it that." You open your eyes and see him smiling. "I'd say you did a pretty good job."

It's your turn to smile at him, it's strange but the initial fear of his proximity somehow faded. "So what are you doing here so late?" Your cheeks heat up with embarrassment at your childish wish. "I thought it was a nice night to sleep on the beach." He gives you a confused look. "Doesn't that seem like a hazardous thing to do?" Even the stranger knows better than you. "Maybe..."

He nods letting a couple more giggles escape his lips. "So I'm guessing you really didn't think the through?" You shake your head, disapproving, of course you thought about strangers creeping in on you, but it was something you'd wanted to do since you were little. "I did, I just- it was something I always wanted to do" he seems to take your words in, analyzing so see if you were crazy, stupid or a bit of both. "Hm why?"

You blink back, not expecting that to be his answer. "I enjoy the sound of the ocean, the smell of salt air, the warm sand, it just seems like a good place to spend the night." He grins showing his white teeth. He points to the ground. "Can I?" You nod your head, you beg your self preservation instincts to kick in cause from the outside this looks like a disaster bound to happen. He sits down, knees bent, resting his hands on them. Extending a hand to you, he introduces himself. "I'm Austin" you shake his hand and smile tugging some hair behind your ear. "(Y/n)"

"Nice to meet you (Y/c). What are you reading?" He crooks his neck to the side to try and read to cover of your book. "Um, it's stupid really." You try and hide the book behind you, but he's quick to lean forward and grab it from you. Austin's whole face light up with laughter at he reads the title of the book. You cover your face with your hands and pray a tsunami will strike and kill you. "The hunger games?!" You try take the book from him, but he holds it back and you can't reach it. "I know it's for kids, but I've never read it before." You're still struggling to take the book from him. He's having too much fun watching you struggle to give up. Sitting back in your spot, you pout like a little child and cross your arms over your chest. "No, it's a good book, everyone should read it." He says handing you the book back. You mouth a silent 'thank you' and he smiles.

You spend the rest of the night talking books, music, movies, everything. You learn he's an actor and make a mental note to watch some of his work when you get home. The information of you being a student in medical school makes him lift his eyebrows in surprise. "You must be very smart then". He makes you blush the whole night.

~end of flashback~

That was one of the best nights of your life, you've never laughed like that before and from then on he made his way into your heart. You learned to function on his affection like he was a drug. You were addicted. To bad it only lasted 15 months.

You're pulling from your thoughts as you hear a dog barking in the distance. Soon enough the dog runs past you. Immediately recognizing the white pup, you can feel the air being sucked out of your lungs. And then everything rushes before your eyes, you feel like a truck hit you. You feel the wet sand, water splashes on your face, it get in you nose and mouth, so you try to cough it out. Struggling to get up, you feel the weight that tackled you to the ground. It gets hard to breathe and you struggle some more, but you can't get up. "I'm so sorry- (Y/n)? Oh god- breathe!" You hear his voice, feel the weight of his body. You start to hyperventilate and cry.

No no no, this isn't happening, you know this is just a nightmare. You're so out of it, that when his hands come up to hold your face, you look around lost. You're know on the dry sand he must of carried you. Austin's talking to you, but his mouth is moving in slow motion and you can't hear a thing. "Breathe, come on with me, one - in, two- out, one-" you look him in the eyes imitating his breathing trying to calm down.

After what seem like hours sat like this, you head in his hands, eyes locked together, breathing in sink, you finally start to feel a little better. He pushes the wet hair behind you ears and gives a good look over to make sure you didn't break anything. "I'm so sorry, you have no idea-"

"It's fine" you stop his apology, you don't need it. Screaming at your body to take his hands off of you and to run, you look into his eyes. "I really didn't mean to, I was running after Sheldon" you nod and close you eyes, but you're still crying so the tears find their way through your closed lids. One of Austin's hands leaves your face and then you feel a tissue brushing your cheeks. Opening your eyes, looking at him, he's crouched down, concentration evident on his face as he wipes the tears away. "It's fine Austin!" You take the tissue from him and turn to look away.

You feel so small and stupid. Your body shakes with every sob that leaves your lips. He sits down next to you, his dog lying next to him. "What hurts?" He asks, he thinks you're crying in pain. He's not wrong, but it's not physical, though you have to admit it feels like it. His hand rubbing up and down your back brings you back to reality. You pull away from his touch getting up. "I said I'm fine!" He doesn't seem to understand your reaction. You stand in front of him. Austin clenches his jaw looking you up and down. Moving your eyes from him to your figure, you see your white dress now wet, completely sheer and clinging to your body. The lacy white underwear you have on is one full display as well as your hard nipples. Quickly your arms fly to your chest to cover up.

"Stop looking at me!" He turns his head away from you, but his eyes dart back to you unconsciously. "I'm sorry!" You scowl at him and turn around exasperated. "You say that a lot, it'd be nice if you'd mean it."Your voice breaks as you speak. He sighs and you feel his hands on you arms. Quickly turning around and out of his grasp you point a finger at him. "Stop touching me, stop talking to me, stop looking at me!" You must look crazy, but you don't care, he has no rights here. Austin rests his hand on his hips. "What do you mean? It was an accident, for fuck's sake!" As he passes a hand through his damp hair, those glimpses, of the boy you met years ago, get buried back in the person he is now. You shake your head at him, it's infuriating, he can't be this oblivious . "This one was."

You hug yourself and walk away. "What's that supposed to mean? Are you ever gonna grow out of your half spoken sentences?" At his sharp words you turn back to him, blinded by rage you slap him over the face. Austin turns his head with the force of your hit, eyes wide in surprise. You massage you stinging palm and before you leave you say. "You're so caught up in this character that you've been playing for three years now, that you can't even see, how much it hurts to look at you." You shake your head, walking backwards. You expect his to say something, but he doesn't, just clenches his jaw, rubbing his sore cheek. "You fucking broke me, you insulted me. I thought we were equals, partners, but you didn't even respect me enough to drive me back home. I was worried about you, told you to care for yourself and you dare tell me I don't understand because all I do is read and complain. You fucker have some nerve to ask me for coffee, while you dangle that model girlfriend of yours in front of me." You throw your hands up exasperated and laugh bitterly. "Oh you wanna catch up? You think I have anything more to tell you?" He doesn't answer, he just stands there and takes every word you throw his way. "Casual coffee" you quote him. "It's not casual, it can't be, I cared for you and you threw it in my face, I hate you!"

You're done talking so you leave, tears running hot on your face. Austin is left standing there, looking at you as you walk away, cheek still stinging form the slap. He's heart broke, because everything you had told him, was true. He was a dick to you, broke up with you because he read your worry as the doubt you had in his craft, something that was of course all in his head, since you adored his work, always helping him learn his lines, always listening to him vet about some scene. He attacked you where he knew would hurt the hardest, he picked on all your insecurities, knowing how much you hated when people made fun of your love for books and school. After you walked away from him that day in Boston, he quickly deleted your phone number to stop himself form ever calling, he needed to hyper fixate on his auditions. But everyday he thought about you, he missed you voice. One day after a horrible nightmare about his mom, Austin wanted to call you so bad, but he didn't have your number anymore, instead he channeled all that pain into the audition tape that won him the role. He sung "Unchained melody" cried at the piano, thinking of you as that was your favorite Elvis song.

When Baz had called him to tell him, that he's going to be Elvis, he was so happy and deep down he knew it was all thanks to that one audition tape he had dedicated to you. Austin wanted so bad to tell you, he drove all the way to your parents house, flowers in hand and a special box set edition of "The hunger games", the book you were reading when you first met. At your house, your mom, who never liked him, she always said you had to study so no time for boyfriends, especially actor boyfriends, opened the door. Her eyes judged his appearance the same way they did, the first time you brought him over for dinner. "She's not here!" It's all she said, than giving him another look, before she closed the door in his face she said. "Forget her, she deserves better!"

As he stared at the closed door, he nodded, took his gift, went home and cried over the mistake he had made. As time went by, your words only became more and more true. He had become Elvis to the point of almost losing himself, he's still not sure he's back to being Austin or if there's a way to go back. He had multiple relationships, many over the 3 relationships the press found out about, but it was never the same. He looked for you in every one of them and was never surprised to finds out none of them compared to you.

Austin touched his face as he now tastes salt in his mouth. When his fingers touch the tears that were coming out of his eyes without him realizing, he promised to make it right to you again. He just had to figure out how. When he noticed your shoes floating on the water the idea came to him. Taking the pair out, grabbing Sheldon and wiping his face, Austin started walking home. He was on a clear mission- to win you back.

When you got to the main road, it hits you that you left your shoes behind, but rather then going back to look for them, you swallow your discomfort and kept on walking. You release a pained laugh at the irony of the situation. You are once again walking home on your own, wet and cold just like the last time. You are somewhat proud of yourself for saying all you meant to say to him for years. But there was one part of your speech the ate away at your insides, the part where you said you hate him. You always thought you did, but saying it out loud proved you it was a lie. You are mad at him for everything, but you don't hate him, you can't.

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