#they need to do a full 3 hr episode talking about this and nothing else

[guccigarantine]

i need to know the hotel bunking situation so bad

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 6

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 151: Great hour or so last night around Foggy’s. When I got home I watched World War Z and some stand up by Nate Bargatze and drank and smoked loads. Today, I got up just before 2pm and felt soooo unmotivated. I was going to have a day of doing fuck all but had a change of heart around 7pm so did my stair climb then walked for over an hour (7km) and got home at 9:30pm!

Day 152: Typing on day 153. I popped up and saw Foggy last night. One of the reasons was I wanted to take him a beer to say thanks for looking over my mitigation statement for my impending court hearing for speeding. He liked what i wrote but has given me some key amendments. Basically free solictor advice and I am very grateful. While there he hit me with the news that Ham’s sister, Preeya, has died (last Friday 14th August) from Covid 19. To say i was gobsmacked is an understatement. She was 49. The family could only talk to her over a loud speaker and had to say good bye that way as her life support was swithced off. Fucking hell, it’s terrible. And, what makes it worse, is how complacent I have become about the disease while it’s causing so much tragedy. As I said to Foggy, it’s important to renew our efforts in combatting this disease so that Preeya’s death at least means we learn. I also feel guilty for not realising that many people have passed like this - just because I (sort of) knew Preeya doesn’t mean I shouldn’t feel any less sorry for the dozens of people dying and many more affected everyday. My emotions are in turmoil and yet I’m not directly affected.

Day 153: Typing this on day 154. Gone midday before I woke up. Beers in the evening and watched Den of Thieves. Great film.

Day 154: Woke up at 2:37 pm FFS. Just done a walk and I feel like shit (booze induced).

Day 155: Went to bed at about 4am yesterday but was up at 10am today so, usual Monday correction of sleep patterns. Two long walks today plus a little housekeeping on photos, sharing to the Oundle chatter group, so, quite constructive. Hoir chat with dad plus a chat with a recruitment agemt about a helpdesk manager role in Peterborough.

Day 156: Typing on Day 157. I saw Karen sitting with TTP (and two others I couldn’t make out) at the T&K on my second walk. Why does that piss me off so much? I am being like Jack in Midnight Run. I need to let go.

I am also getting wound up with Tumblr - I can only make entries on this diary blog on the PC - when I try on the Android or Apple apps, they pop up with ‘post too long’. Trying getting info from Tumblr’s online help on that though - fucking not happening. I think I might move this to a Google Blog...it’s not like anyone else reads it. I’m not sure I’d want that - it’s far more a private diary now rather than the cute ‘blog’ idea it started out as. It is now a disciplinary exercise more than anything.

Day 158: Feeling less sorry for myself now. It’s 10pm and I am having a midweek beer as I wait for tea to cook.

Day 159: Decided I will split this diary into 30 day sections to appease Tumblr. My second walk today was at 8pm ‘cos it was pissing down from about 4pm ‘til 7:30pm...very dark and so wet. Home by 9.15pm.

Day 160: I went shopping in Corby (Tesco and Asda) - I only really went so I could get blue eggs. £75 on booze! I was going up to Fog’s tonight but at around 6pm it started to piss down. So, I shall drink at home. It’s 9.15pm, I think it’s going to get messy.

Day 161: Not sure when I wnet to bed last night but I didn’t get up until 2pm. Nice long walk (9km) in the rain!

Banners and Sam G went to London to have a few with Andy P. I’m a little flabbergasted, it’s like there’s no Covid19 all a sudden.

Day 162: Bank holiday Sunday so I am having a beer or two. Tea’s cooking, gonna watch The Accountant on BBC1 at 10.30pm. Today I got up at 1.55pm and managed to have a shower and be downstairs to see the start of the Belgian GP. Hamilton won, pretty easily. I then did my stair climb and a 9.8km (6 mile) walk.

Last night I watched a rather quirky, entertaining comic horror film called Ready or Not and then Ricky Gervais - Fame. That’s the tour I saw him live after seeing Henman’s final tennis match at the Davis Cup at Wimbledon. Bloody funny - the recording could even be the show Karen and I were at. Bed at around 5am, hence not egtting up ‘til way past midday!

Day 163: Bank Holiday Monday, just like a Sunday. I am making this entry on my phone as I'm now able to due to breaking up the diary blog into 30 day sections.

Molly's Game, a film I've tried to rewatch several times but it's never been free, is on BBC2 tonight. I'm recording it right now but actually watching Seinfeld from the start on All4. The first couple of episodes are a bit ropey if truth be told. Luckily, I know it improves.

Day 164: Managed to get hold of Michelle via her daughter Daisy to place a nice big order for C. Just as well ‘cos Tim’s ignoring me!

Rang and spoke with Barry Haddon today to check he’s OK.

Day 165: Picked up C from Michelle’s in Yarwell. While there I was mauled by her over friendly Staffordshirebull terrier getting bit on the thigh. Twice in six months I’ve been bitten by dogs.

Karen WhatsApp’d to see if I’d seen Miley Cyrus on the Live Lounge!

Day 166: Forgot to say that yesterday, I also bumped into and chatted with Pete Gilder. We mainly talked about (getting caught) speeding.

Today I did over 22k steps and I am fucked. 

I replied to an email from Shirley at work HR. After the furloughed staff call on Thursday, which I didn’t attend, they want us to cash in some (more) hoilday, which is fine by me, but I have also asked if we are any clearer as to what happens on 1st October, when the rentention scheme ends. I await her reply.

Day 167: Another 20k stpes today. Just 24k needed to have completed 1m steps since the start of July.

It’s Friday, about 9.45pm. I’m going to watch Molly’s Game and have a few beers.

Day 168: Got up at just before 2pm. It’s now 10.15pm and I am just having my first beer, Today was a lazyish day, completed 12k steps.

Day 169: Completed the 1m steps with 24 days to spare. Woohoo. Now, I am unsure whether to reduce the walking I have got so used to doing? I think I might keep up an average of 11k steps a day which is all I would have needed to accomplish to reack 1m in 3 months.

I’m pleased I did it today since I :went to bed a nearly 5am this morning!

Day 170: Actually typing this on day 171. Feels weird having done the 1m steps, almost like I’ve nothing to do. However, I am of course going to keep walking but not quite as hard/much. I did feel liek I was walking myself into the ground all in the name of finishiong the task ASAP. So, today I only had one walk, did 11,5k.

Yesterday’s Italian GP was a cracker. Hamilton had a penalty and ikt ended up with Gasly winning. Full of incident including a red flag so the race ‘restarted’.

I completely forgot ot make this entry on the correct day?

Day 171: I have decided to press on with the walking - not quite so urgently as before - to see what I can achieve steps-wise in 3 months. So, today, an unusually hot day for September, I did 18k steps plus cleaned the bathroom, hoovered my room and stairs and hallway. I am fucked!

Today I have bought a set of smart scales and a new pair of Skechers. The Skechers were almost free (£69 reduced to £30ish which I had in Paypal) and the scales were £20. Still, I shouldn’t. I don’t know what will happen at the end of October when the CJRS ends plus I don’t know what punsihment will be dished out, any day now, for the speeding offence! Fuck it!

Day 172: An eventful day. Boris has restricted gatherings to no more than 6 people and will use ‘Covid Marshalls’ to police this. It’s causing a stir amongst the online community. I have set up accounts with Gurushots and Picfair to showcase my snaps. The latter offers the opportunity to sell them. I watched Anchorman 2. It was pretty good. I also postd on the Oundle chatter group about walking in front of a car the other day - the driver, a yound lady, was enchanting the way she just smiled and let me pass - I used it as an opportunity to ask about George Higgins saving a child from near death at the hands of a lorry, the post about which has disappeared.

Day 173: Lots have seen my post re: my car incident but the bait hasn’t been taken.

Sarah Haines made a nice comment about my photo posts on the Oundle Chatter group also saying that she doesn’t know me but, it turns out she does. She is James Watson’s ex from when I first moved to Oundle so we caught up on Messenger.

Rachel Harris posted a meme slating Boris about the fact we were all encouraged to go out and about (inclding the Eat Out to Help Out scheme) and now we are being sent back to ‘our room’. Some of the comments continue to slate the government. I couldn’t resist commenting that, had the royal ‘we’ maintined social distancing and remembered there’s a fucking pandemic, perhaps we might not be under impending severe lockdown, as it now looks like. I also mentioned photos I have seen (one posted by Rach herslf) whereby you could be mistaken for thinking that there isn’t a pandemic. I have finished the comment with a line about we can only blame ourselves, not the hapless government! I wonder what reaction that will get!

Day 174: Scales were delivered today. If they are accurate I am a little over 11 stones, from 12st 7lbs before lockdown. Can’t quite believe it. I have a yearly diabetic review with Lynne in October so i can check then. If the scales are wrong, I’ll be livid on 2 scores!

Friday night beers as I type. Been looking forward to them since last Saturday!

Day 175: I do not trust the new scales. I get a different reading each time I step on them and by 10-12 lbs. Fucking things. Boots arrived today - they’re going back as well. Footy season started today. Posh lost away to Acrrington Stanley. “Who are they?”

Day 176: The GP was reflagged again today (a new track at Tuscany. A red flag two races on the trot is most unusual. Hamilton won.

Day 177: I managed to get the scales working. I’m pretty much the same weight I was prior to ld (about 12.5 st). This leads me to believe that if I wasn’t doing all the walking I am, I would be as fat as a fucking house. On that note, Google Fit is playing up. It loses the step and heart point count for each walk (although the workouts retain the route map info) Wtf?

I think K and TTP might be a thing from a post I saw on FB whereby some chap (who I don’t know) commented on TTP’s post that it was nice to see him and K. Kinda gutted if it is true but I shouldn’t be. That’s all I will say on here.

Day 178: Jim contacted me today to let me know he’s leaving RCI. He was quite secretive about why and what’s going on but, there it is. He went on to say that HR will be contacting me shortly to call me back from furlough. Sueanne is taking over as team leader but that’s temporary. and that they will most likely promote from within. I struggling to think what it would be like if Mark was boss! The way RCI are and how disjointed it is with Jim as boss, I shan’t take it as read until HR do contact me. Also, I dunno how I feel about it...I have got so used to not working. But, and it’s a big but, I doubt I’ll have a job after the retention scheme finishes so, if this does pan out, it’s good. I’ll be back to job hunting while in a job, as per before the pandemic.

Also, I received an email letting me know the punishment for my speeding offence was 6 points and a £233 fine, plus costs (£90) and victim support (£34), £357 in total. More than I expected. But, no ban, so I’ll suck it up. 

Day 179: Having midweek beers. I'm in that sort of mood.

Day 180: I WhatsApp’d Jim to let him know HR haven’t contacted me. His garbled response went from telling to give them a shout and let them know he is leaving, to which I asked ‘don’t they know?’, he then said hold fire (on Sueanne’s instruction) and she has said for me to sit tight and then, finally, that HR will contact me! Fuck knows what’s going on! I had a diabetic review with Lynne today. When you go to the surgery you have to let in, which I was by Keren. It was nice to see and chat with her. She is back with Ronnie which was news to me. Then Lynne came and got me. It was nice to see and chat with her also. She weighed me and I’m 12st 3lb. Apparently in Jan last year I was over 13st!

[stillinaincrad]

Found this online and thought it’d be fun. Won’t tag others, but would love to see reposts with your answers!

1. Who is your favorite male anime character? it’s always a toss-up but for today will say Spike Spiegel

2. Who is your favorite female character? Lucy, Elfen Lied

3. What is your favorite anime soundtrack? Soul Eater

4. What is your favorite anime opening + animation? I’ve always thought the OP to Star Driver was really great - the art and graphic design is totally unique and the lyrics to the song (Gravity 0 - Aqua Timez) fit the show SO WELL, but the opening was made to fit the song, too. I still think it’s fantastic. 

5. What is your favorite anime ending song + animation? Soul Eater again, what everybody calls the “3rd ending” (Bakusou Yumeuta - Diggy Mo). Soul Eater’s soundtrack has everything from quirky indie to old school punk, but this hip-hopish track just fit the attitudes of the characters and their fighting styles perfectly. (Seki-kun is a very, very close second!)

6. What is your favorite anime scene? Yeah, right. Like I could answer that one.

7. If you could meet an anime character who would it be? I wish I could answer this seriously, but every time I think about a 2D character coming into this world, all I can picture is Kreiger’s Mitsuko Miyazumi and it makes me laugh uncontrollably.

8. What anime character is most similar to you in terms of personality? I usually say Ichika Orimura, just because he’s full of good intention but really dense when it comes to women and misses signals all the time. I should probably come up with a new line of thought, though, because that’s not exactly a flattering response lol

9. What is your favorite thing about anime? The imagination, the creativity, the fact that it’s drawn and anything at all is possible without a ginormous budget, so you get all these original stories colored well outside the lines of convention and safety standards that the entertainment industry is bound by.

10. What is your least favorite thing about anime? It took me a while to get used to the fanservice that is prevalent in even the most tame of anime, and there are times when an excess of it contributes to the story, but I have a hard time with it when an anime is overly-ecchi “just because”. It tends to really creep me out.

11. Who are your favorite anime couple? Kazuma and Ayano. They crack me up so much because they are cuckoo for cocoa puffs about each other but are too stubborn to ever admit it.

12. Who is your favorite anime animal? Will have to think about this one and come back to it.

13. What anime would make a good game? Another one have talked about at length, I would kill to see a full-fledged PvP MMORPG of the Fate/Stay series, where you choose which master you want to play as, develop skills and spells, eventually call your servant. The two of you quest together until endgame level, at which point you enter the Holy Grail war against other endgamers. I’d be all over that one.

14. What game would make a good anime? It was a God of War knockoff and they already made a bad movie about it, but always thought Heavenly Sword could be an anime. They’d have to add quite a bit of content to get 12-13 episodes, though.

15. What was the first anime you ever watched? Robotech

16. Do you think you’ll ever stop watching anime? No, but no way I’ll watch nearly as much - I do at some point plan on becoming a real adult again, and don’t expect to have the time I do now.

17. What is your favorite genre of anime? It used to be mecha anime, and I’m still really into it, but the fantasy/adventure series that are set in medieval-esque worlds have gotten the most of my love the last 2-3 years.   .

18. What is your least favorite genre of anime? Horror

19. Are you open about watching anime with people you know? I was when I was younger, but now I think there’s a stigmata that is attached to it because of my age. Like “oh, you’re one of those guys”. Somehow being past like teens/early 20s and still into anime means you’re a creeper who is weird af and probably does bizarre things behind closed doors. I have to get to know someone before more than just a casual conversation about it.

20. Have you ever been to Japan? Yup, lived there for a little while in the Navy

21. What anime was the biggest let down for you? Death Parade. It had all the makings of one of those devastatingly memorable endings that would have rocketed it into history, but instead Chiyuki smiles, Decim says nothing, everybody gets off scot-free, and the show ends. WHAT THE F***.

22. What anime was better then expected? Charlotte. Every time my answer will be Charlotte. That one blew me away the first time.

23. What is the best anime fight scene? This one always comes up, and I never have an answer. There have been a few that made me want to cheer, though lol

24. Who is your anime waifu? Takao, Ars Nova/Arpeggio of Blue Steel, but the idea of a waifu or envisioning yourself in a relationship with an anime character - male or female - is something I’ve never really gotten.

25. What was your favorite video game as a child? Perfect Dark. It sooo needs a reboot

Questions about me

26. Most Embarrassing moment? When I was 13, I passed out during the prayer at a large outdoor service at a country church we were visiting, but fell straight down into my chair so only a few people knew about it. Someone called EMS, but the squad was unavailable, so this 38ft hook and ladder with lights and sirens going pulls in and everybody was like wtf

27a. Can you drive? I’ve driven on three continents

27b. Do you own a car? It barely qualifies as a car, but it is paid for so until I make more than $11/hr it’ll have to do

28. Are you mature? Depends

29. Are you mature? I’m going to be mature here and not make a big deal about asking the same question twice. In a row.

30. Do you prefer cats or dogs? I miss my dog all the time, but have nothing against cats unless they are total assholes.

31. Describe yourself physically? 6′2, dirty blonde/brown hair, not fat but not exactly Ryan Gosling either

32. What would you name your first child? I don’t know, depends on the wife, I guess. Nothing too out there, though - I don’t want a boxer or a stripper for a kid because they got scarred from everyone making fun of their name.

33. What is the worst injury you have ever had? Ruptured L4/L5 in my spine that popped out and pinched my sciatic nerve, then while I was rehabbing that slipped on ice and broke my elbow. NOTHING worked for a while.

34. What is your worse habit? I wall myself off when I need others most. I’m actually really good at it.

35. Do you drink or smoke? I used to, and still do sometimes, but not nearly as often as I used to. It’s just too expensive to go out all the time, and I hate being out of breath from one flight of stairs.

36. Do you have a tattoo? I have 3, want more

37. Are you a morning person or a night person? I wake early every morning for work, so even on my days off I’m awake at like 6:30 now. Being an adult can really suck sometimes lol

38. Have you ever slept past midday? Not for a long time, but sure

39. Do you regret anything? Have you ever met anyone who doesn’t?

40. Can you count the number of friends you have on one hand? Yes. I know lots of people and am friendly with them, but not what I’d call a friend.

41. Do you wear glasses? No

42. Are you a picky eater? I loathe onions and the texture of stewed tomatoes will make me hurl, but just about everything else works.

43. Would you die for someone? Depends on the person and situation

44. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Telekinesis, maybe? Not sure.

45. Do you believe in the supernatural? Not really. There’s plenty out there that we don’t understand or know about, though. It wouldn’t surprise me, but I don’t really believe in it.

46. Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich, I couldn’t handle people going through my garbage to see what brand of ice cream I prefer

47. Have you ever committed a crime? Is it a crime if you didn’t get caught? lol

48. Pirates or ninjas? Ninjas, it requires precision, years of training, and incredible athleticism. Pirating requires you drink a lot and rob people.

49. Does someone have a crush on you? Would be nice to find out that I did, but would kind of suck for them

50. Are you in a relationship? I’m not really in relationship mode right now

[justsomebucky]

The Only Exception (Part 1)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,442

Warnings: language, fluff, wishful thinking, hot firemen, sarcasm, cynicism, bad jokes

A/N: Okay, so I saw a movie a long long time ago that was terrible, but it inspired the ‘bad’’ love advice and the firemen. I’ve been dying to have fireman!Bucky in one of my AUs.

And yes, the title comes from the Paramore song. I felt like it’s how reader feels throughout. Hope you guys like it. I had some writer’s block, and some house guests, so this is a little late being posted.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

So far, your day was a total bust, and it was still early morning.

Your umbrella had blown away in some pretty ridiculous wind gusts, leaving you to get soaked in the rain as you made your way from the subway to Stark Tower for work.

Once you were inside, the elevators were so full that you were forced to squeeze in beside some people who ought to really reconsider the deodorant they were wearing (or buy some at all).

Then you got to your desk, and a post-it note was stuck to your laptop, asking you to go to the conference room beside your boss’ office.

Dammit.

You ran your fingers through your soaked hair, trying to seem presentable as you opened the door to the conference room.

Your supervisor, May Parker, sat at the head of the table, with her assistant Maria and your assistant Natasha on either side of her. There was no one else in the room except the HR person from upstairs. He was standing in the corner, flipping through some documents in his hands.

Oh, crap.

Were you being fired?

Why else would you be called here with HR present?

Your mind started reeling with all the different bills that lay on your kitchen counter, including two student loan bills. Your rent was due soon, too. What the hell were you going to do? You couldn’t afford to stay in Brooklyn if they fired you. What kind of monsters would fire you on a Thursday morning? They could at least-

May cleared her throat, interrupting your anxiety-ridden thoughts. “Y/N, do you know why we called you in here?”

You shook your head. “No, ma’am.”

She sighed, glancing between Nat and Maria. “We had to let Leah go today.”

“Wait, what? Leah?” Your brows furrowed in confusion. Leah was a coworker of yours. Well, she used to be. “You mean you aren’t firing me?”

“No. In fact, HR, we’re good here. You can go.”

The man nodded and gathered his things, leaving without another look back. May gestured to the empty seat next to Natasha, and you sat down obediently. 

“We have a little project for you until we find a replacement,” she informed you.

What the heck kind of project could they have for you from Leah’s team? She was into social media, the star of her own little YouTube show. Surely they were looking for another Leah to lead this. There’s no way they would want you to cover her show in the meantime.

“We want you to cover her show in the meantime.”

Oh.

Wait, what?

You blinked. “I have no experience with any of that.”

“No experience with love? Come on now, Y/N, even I’ve seen you reading those trashy romance novels on your lunch break. Plus, aren’t you seeing someone?” May laid her palms flat on the table. “Look, we’re in a pinch here, and you write advice articles all the time. I’m asking you to transition for a short while to also doing a little YouTube show here and there.”

You had a degree in psychology that hadn’t paid the bills after graduation, so you signed on to be a part of the team at September Media, a section of Stark Industries, writing a little column online.

Sometimes your column was based on reader questions, and sometimes it was just about something that was plaguing you that day. May was your boss, and she typically stayed out of your way when it came to work.

The advice you gave was more along the lines of life advice; ways to cope with stress and anxiety, how to find the silver lining, don’t give up on yourself…that sort of thing. Plus, you never had to appear in any videos or speak on podcasts or anything like that.

Leah, on the other hand, dealt strictly in love advice. She had a popular show on September’s YouTube channel that got millions of hits every week. You suspected half of it was because she was a former model, though you didn’t want to insinuate that she wasn’t good at her job (because you’d actually never watched her show).

Who had the time for nonsense like that? Nothing ever worked out as smoothly as in those romance novels you liked to read. There was no hot guy with loads of cash waiting in the wings to save you from your drab life. Fiction (and Disney) had ruined your hope of ever finding someone to sweep you off your feet.

And really, you didn’t even need to be swept off your feet. You simply needed someone who wasn’t going to live on your couch with no job while they watched anime porn all day. You needed someone who didn’t have a weird affinity for both their own mother and people’s toes. You’d heard these horror stories from your coworkers, and yes, people like that apparently existed.

Where had all the good ones gone?

Dating was so awful, and no amount of advice would ever make the experience better for you.

In fact, the last date you had been on was a total disaster. Your friends and coworkers had insisted that you try online dating, so you did. You actually put yourself out there, despite all of your hesitations.

It turned out, online dating was mostly a weird mix of lewd propositions and dick pics, but on occasion you’d get a message from a decent human.

Even so, the last guy you’d actually met for a coffee date had left with another woman while you were in the restroom.

“I’m so completely under-qualified to offer advice for romantic relationships, May. I’ve only had one recent date, and it didn’t go well at all. I’m not sure what I could possibly have to offer a program like this.”

May nodded, staring at you (and kind of making you uncomfortable) as she appeared to completely ignore this information. “I’m sure you’re a quick learner, Y/N, and I’m afraid I don’t have much of a choice here. You’re the new romance advice person until we find a replacement.”

“But I’m not good at lovey-dovey bullshit,” you pressed on, trying to get her to see your side of things. “I don’t have it in me!”

“Then pretend,” May replied, turning to your assistant-slash-friend. “Nat, I know it’s not really your job, but you’re going to have to help her with whatever her hair is trying to do, and get her in front of the camera ASAP.”

May stood up and quickly made her way to the door, pausing for only a moment. “You’ll do great, kiddo, I know it. It’s just temporary. One, maybe two weeks tops!” With a small smile, May left the conference room, putting some finality on your fate.

You sat back in your chair, feeling a little numb. “This cannot be happening.”

“Oh, it’s happening. I suggest you get ready. Leah had an episode already scripted for today, but we’ll just have you read the questions, and you can answer as you see fit.” Maria gave you a small smile of encouragement. “You’ve got the training, Y/N. Time to use it for some lovey-dovey bullshit.”

About an hour later, after giving yourself a pep talk in the mirror of the women’s room, you were sat in front of a low-tech, camera-and-laptop situation, in what used to be Leah’s huge, beautiful office. “Why the hell did she get an office like this, and I’m stuck out in the bullpen?”

You frowned up at Scott Lang, your camera man for this temporary gig. He’d always helped Leah with her episodes, so now he’d been assigned to help you. His regular job was to write about advances in technology, especially the strides that Tony Stark and his team were making.

Scott merely shrugged. “She brought in a lot of ad revenue.”

“Yeah, I bet she did,” you muttered, looking out the window to the New York skyline.

That’s what you did when you felt your anxiety trying to take a hold of you, and the city you loved never failed to calm you down. You took a deep breath, letting the air out slowly as your eyes scanned the familiar skyscrapers.

“Look, Y/N, your advice is helpful to a lot of people, but so was Leah’s. It’s hard to make a relationship work these days. If she helped even one person, it was worth it.”

Your eyes flickered back to Scott’s face as you studied him. He was staring down at the camera, messing with some of the settings, but you could tell his mind was a million miles away to his ex-wife and daughter.

He had a point. If Leah could provide some comfort to people, then she was doing something good for people. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Scott.”

“It’s fine.” Scott offered you a sincere grin. “You ready?”

“Just a minute. This has been bothering me all day…I’ve been wondering, why did Leah get fired?”

“Oh.” Scott rubbed the back of his neck. “She got caught accepting vacations and jewelry and stuff from some of Mr. Stark’s clients. It’s a breach of contract.”

You burst out laughing. “Ah, geez. No worry of that happening with me, trust me. I can’t even get a free drink. Let’s get this over with shall we?”

“All right, I’m going to count down and you will have to introduce yourself, okay? Then you can just dive right into the selected viewer questions.”

“Got it.” At least, you hoped so.

“In three, two…” Scott held up a finger to signal one second, then pointed at you.

“Hi everyone, my name is Y/N, and this is Love Advice with…Y/N. Really? That’s the name of this show? Very original. Anyways, Leah is no longer going to be hosting, but never fear, I’m here temporarily to offer you vague advice and false hope in love.”

Scott made a face at you over the camera, but you pressed on, figuring your cynicism would help you through this ridiculous situation. Maybe if you were bad enough, they would find someone who actually wanted to talk about romance on YouTube.

“Let’s just get to the first question! Dear Leah – and again, I’m not Leah, so please address next week’s questions to the Love Therapist, because that’s my new show name. Anyways, dear Leah, I’m supposed to be getting married to someone this weekend, but I’m having second thoughts. I’ve only known him for seven months – is that long enough to know you want to spend your life with someone? I’ve been worrying all week, and I’m not sure I’m ready. I’m not sure he’s The One. Sincerely, Confused in Brooklyn.”

You made a face at the question as you read it off of the laptop in front of you, then you made a face at the camera. “Oh, confused is right. You sound utterly lost, my friend. Listen, if you are even remotely unsure of this relationship moving to the next level, the worst thing you can do is legally commit to this man. Seven months might be enough for some people, but is it right for you?”

Scott made a motion for you to wrap it up; apparently you were not only supposed to answer dumb questions, but you were supposed to offer short, bad advice. No way. If you were doing this, you were going to do it right.

You weren’t Leah. This poor person needed help.

“Confused, you need to take a good look at your own wants and needs, and figure out if that guy meets them, because if you aren’t sure about him and still go through with the wedding, it’s on you. You’re going to make yourself unhappy, and he will eventually be unhappy, too. Neither of you deserves that. Be an adult, assess your relationship, and then decide. Okay, our next question comes from Lonely in Astoria…”

“I heard you were brutal in every episode,” Nat laughed, snapping a selfie with her coffee cup in view. “First week on assignment and you really didn’t hold back.” You watched from across the table as she posted the picture to her Instagram account. It wasn’t anything new to you to see her doing that; she was always on the lookout for the perfect selfie.

Maybe she should be doing this show instead of you.

The two of you were getting coffee on the corner near your apartment before heading to see a movie down the street. It was some much needed vegging-out time. You didn’t want to have to think too hard today.

“Smile!”

You didn’t even have time to react as she snapped your picture, posting it with the hashtag #grumpyneedscoffee and tagging you.

“You know, it’s not safe to always post your location so blatantly like that. Or mine…especially mine.”

“Oh yeah, we’ve got loads of stalkers. Maybe I wanted to invite them, what do you think about that?” Nat stuck her tongue out at you, then took another selfie. “Hashtag: come stalk us.”

“You’re so hilarious,” you muttered, looking away. Your eyes scanned the faces in the crowd outside, and you couldn’t help but wonder if any of them watched your stupid little show.

You hoped not.

Saturday had finally arrived with a reprieve from work, and you were thrilled that your stint of being the Love Therapist was almost over. May had promised to find a replacement after two weeks.

You hadn’t bothered to ask for feedback, because you just didn’t care.

“I was not brutal,” you added. “I was merely being honest. Just because Leah told people what they wanted to hear, it doesn’t mean that she was giving good advice. Wasn’t I right about Dan the Jerk? The one who lied to you and said he was visiting a sick uncle in Hartford, when he was really sneaking out to see his other girlfriend?”

“You were right,” Natasha relented. “He was garbage, but I just got unlucky that time. I’ve also had plenty of decent dates. Not every man is like that, Y/N. Why can’t you just be hopeful for once? Other people have love and you haven’t found someone yet, so what? You’re gonna find an exception to the rule. You’re gonna find someone soon, and I just hope you don’t push him away just because you’re suspicious and cynical.”

You were about to reply with something a little less-than-nice, but before you could, two firemen walked into the coffee shop in full gear, and you found yourself unable to look away. God, it was just like one of those horrible romance books you adored. A fireman walks into a coffee shop…

“Earth to Y/N,” Natasha said, waving her hand in front of your face. She followed your line of sight to see what caught your attention. “Are you really into firemen or do you know one of them?”

“So what if I have a thing for guys in uniforms,” you said sheepishly, raising an eyebrow at her. “I’m allowed to look. What does it matter? They always have hot girlfriends or wives, anyways.”

The two of you glanced back over at the two men. One was blond with blue eyes, and one had brown hair with blue-grey eyes. Both were over-the-top attractive.

“Which one do you want?” Nat whispered.

“I think I like the brunette,” you replied, chewing on your lip thoughtfully. It wasn’t like you to objectify someone, but you let yourself have this one indulgence.

“Good, because that blond has an ass on him that I want to bite!” Natasha rested her chin on her hand with a dramatic sigh.

“Stop,” you exclaimed with a laugh. “Just stop.”

You must have laughed too loudly, because you found yourself locked in a staring contest with the hottie brunette fireman.

His eyes widened, and he turned back to say something to his buddy, which made the other guy turn and look, too. The blond fireman shook his head, as if he was protesting what the brunette was saying.

That’s when the brunette fireman began walking over to you with a determined look, and the blond man trailed behind, looking like he was completely against the idea.

“Oh, shit, Y/N! You got their attention! See?” Natasha sat up, putting on her best flirty look. You felt like a potato next to her. “Be cool. Don’t mess this up for us.”

There was no time for a comeback, because the men were suddenly right beside your table.

“Hey! You’re that Love Therapist, aren’t you?” the brunette asked. “Y/N, right?”

“Right,” you said nervously, offering a smile. “It’s just a temporary stint, though.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “I’m Bucky Barnes, and this is my best friend Steve Rogers. We’re both based in Brooklyn here.”

“Hi there, I’m Natasha. Why are two handsome fellas like you watching a love advice show on YouTube?” Natasha smiled at them, laying it on thick. “I’m sure you don’t have trouble with the ladies?”

Bucky’s expression darkened a little, and he offered no reply, so Steve answered for him. “Uh…we used to watch because the old host was pretty hot. The guys got a kick out of it at the station.” Steve looked back at you. “No offense, I mean, you’re a sight too, it’s just that…”

“Hey, I completely get it.” You held both your hands up jokingly for a second. “Leah brought in the viewers, that’s for sure. But like I said, it’s not my real job, I’m just filling in.”

“So you’re offering advice that you aren’t really qualified to offer, then?” Bucky’s expression was now more like a glare, and a chill rolled down your spine.

“She’s qualified, she has a degree in psychology,” Natasha supplied, finally noticing the change in Bucky’s demeanor. “What’s it to you, anyway?”

“Nothing,” Steve answered again for him. “It’s nothing. It was nice to meet you ladies, but we should be getting back to work.” He tried to pull Bucky away from the table, but his attention once again fixed on you.

“Can I call you sometime?” The corner of his mouth lifted a little.

Your eyes widened in surprise. Was this guy nuts or something? Three seconds ago he was giving you a death glare, and now he was smiling. “Me?”

Bucky’s blue-grey eyes sparkled; now he seemed to be flirting with you, of all things. “Yeah, maybe we can go out sometime.”

“Um.” You looked at Natasha for help, since your thoughts were a little muddled. The attractive fireman, the one you would have picked out for yourself if you could, was asking you out after seeming a little put-off by your line of work. What the hell were you going to say?

“She’d love to go,” Natasha answered, looking to Steve. “In fact, maybe we can make it a double date?”

Steve’s face lit up. “That’s a great idea. What are you girls doing tonight?”

The movies now seemed a little too intimate for some reason. The darkness, sitting beside one another…that would be too much for a first date in your opinion.

“We were going to a bar,” you blurted out. “You can join us if you want.” Where was this newfound ability to get yourself a date coming from?

“Here,” Bucky said, reaching for your phone that was sitting on the table in front of you. You stared in total shock as he plugged his number in, then sent himself a text. “Now we have each other’s numbers. We’ll meet up later after our shift is over, okay?”

“Okay, see you later,” you replied meekly.

This was all a little surreal; did being on a popular internet show really nab you a hot fireman just now? Leah must have been rolling in attention from hotties! Who needed a dating app and creepy dudes messaging you, when you could be recognized in a coffee shop?

Once they were gone, you turned to look at Natasha. “What the hell just happened?”

“You’re internet famous now, cupcake, and we’ve got a double date with two of the hottest guys in Brooklyn!” Natasha did a little happy dance. “I’m definitely going to need to go shopping, and since I’ve seen your closet, so are you.”

“But-“

“No buts! Firemen, Y/N! Hot firemen! We are definitely going shopping!”

“Fine,” you agreed, pretending to be miserable. “But only because I think I read about this in one of my trashy novels once, and I wanna see if it ends with me getting to see a fireman’s pole, too.”

“I wouldn’t bring that up later if I were you.” Natasha laughed, hitting your arm. “Come on, weirdo. Let’s go.”

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

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Story tags are open!

[icecubesclinkinginglass-blog]

Season One, Episode One: Pilot - Mole Hunt

"I'm always insistent, Woodhouse. But I'm not to be trusted, am I?" - Archer to Woodhouse

Synopsis: The episode (and the show) starts with what seems to be the titular [snicker] Archer character chained to the wall of some far flung prison, but thanks to Sterling Archer's smartass insults it is quickly revealed to just be a training room at the headquarters of where he happens to work as an agent run by his mother, Malory Archer. And, yes, it was called ISIS, but in the TV show's offense defense, they came up with it first. (But they did later change it, for obvious reasons.) At this point it's unclear as to whether or not Sterling is that good of an agent. (It seems debatable, or it at least varies by episode.)

Like most pilots, the first half is mostly spent establishing the relationships between Archer and everyone else (Cheryl, Pam, Malory, Cyril, and of course Lana), though as is also the case with pilot episodes, they're mere skeletons of the more well-rounded characters they'll eventually become. We learn that Lana and Sterling used to be an item, but now it's Cyril and Lana (much to the surprise of both Archer and Cyril). [Note: I will probably switch between calling him "Archer" and "Sterling" at random. I'm afraid you'll just have to deal.]

Cyril: "I always make Lana stir-fry on Friday." Archer: "Neat. Listen..." Cyril: "Guess what we call it?!" Archer: "Stir-Friday?" Cyril: *pause* "Wow, that's actually better." Archer: "It's all yours."

They also spend a lot of time talking with Sterling about questionable items on his expense account. Not the most riveting subject matter, but it helps establish the mundane bickering that is a common thread throughout every episode of the show, and is also one of the primary sources of humor. This episode is also the first instance of one of Archer's mild obsessions, namely "getting ants." It's also the origin of "Can't, or won't?"

In an effort to hide his expense account indiscretions, Sterling tries to find a way into the mainframe room. To do this, he comes up with an off-the-cuff excuse about a fictional "mole hunt" that he's been "secretly" assigned to. When this doesn't work with anyone, as a last resort he breaks into the Agency headquarters (Note: look, I'm just going to call it the Agency, okay? I'd rather not throw the term 'ISIS' around even in the context of this cartoon, even though I just did, plus it'll just make things easier when they actually change the name a few seasons from now.)

Ironically, when Archer finally does break into the mainframe (using password "Guest"), he soon finds himself at gunpoint by Crenshaw, the guy pretending to be a Russian interrogator at the beginning of the episode, who not only turns out to be an actual Russian named Kremensky, and was the mole, which Archer had thought he'd made up. He and Lana (who showed up after the break-in was reported) were able to take down Kremensky easily, but they were quickly distracted by their own bickering, allowing Kremensky to make his escape. *during an argument* Lana: "You wanna see crazy?!" Archer: "No, I've seen that movie, and spoiler alert, it ends with a closet full of my suits on fire!" Lana: "I wish you'd been wearing one!" Archer: "Who would want to wear an on fire suit?!" Lana: "Cosplay enthusiasts!" Archer: "What?" Lana: "Wait, no. Shit!"

Things culminated with a standoff with Kremensky holding a gun to Archer's mom's head while, for reasons unclear to anybody, Archer held his gun to Lana's head, before Kremensky pointed out that he didn't care if Sterling shot Lana. However, when Kremensky's taunting description of Malory Archer lying dead in a gutter and how Sterling's life would be without her caused a... reaction in Sterling, Kremensky's momentary disgust gave Archer the opening he needed to open fire and save the day. And as a thank you, Malory angrily smacked him repeatedly in the head with her purse, to which Archer asked, "Ow! Hey! What's in there, buckles?!"

In the end, it was concluded (wrongly) that Crenshaw/Kremensky must have been the one embezzling all along, and "blaming" Archer by putting it on his expense account. Meanwhile, Malory was confused as to how there could have even been a Russian mole, saying she "would have known," which led to a flashback where it's implied that she'd been having phone sex with an as-of-yet unnamed Russian political leader. I'm sure that's not the last we'll see of him. (And I'm not just saying that because I've seen all these episodes before. Though that definitely helps.)

My Opinion: Since this is my second time through the show, it's interesting to notice how much things have changed over the years while others remained mostly the same. Archer already has his devil-may-care attitude, mood swings and temper in the episode, but he also seems a little more whiny and entitled than I remembered. (Though later episodes may prove me wrong on this.) Also I think they hadn't quite settled on the art style in this episode, though it's incredibly close. I can't remember if that's common throughout season one or just the pilot. I could also just be misremembering how it looked in later seasons.

I was surprised to see how relatively sane and calm Pam was in this first episode. Admittedly the iconic dolphin puppet she used in HR meetings gave hints as to what the future might hold, but honestly I had no idea. And Carol/Cheryl had yet to reveal the extent of her... issues.

This episode does a fairly good job of giving viewers a general idea of the sort of thing they could expect going forward, but watching it again now, I'm glad I didn't base my opinion solely on this one episode, as I'm not sure it was funny enough on its own. Though it did have some great moments that would eventually becoming running gags.

I'm going to give this episode three out of five ice cubes. (See how I worked the Tumblr name into the review? Eh?) It isn't the best episode of Archer by any stretch, but for a first outing it wasn't bad at all. And just to be clear, this "ice cube" rating system exists in a vacuum, meaning I'm not comparing it to other shows. So really, a three ice cube episode is still better than some other random show that you might see get 3 out of 5 stars on Netflix or what have you. I'm considering "3" to be an average Archer episode. In fact, now that we're talking about it, here is the arbitrary score breakdown, subject to change without notice (though I'll probably give notice anyway):

5 cubes = a classic Archer episode, one of the best, in my opinion. No complaints whatsoever. 4 cubes = an above-average episode, with perhaps only a few dull moments or bits I didn't like keeping it from 5 cubes. 3 cubes = your average Archer episode. Worth watching, but not super memorable or particularly crammed full of comedy. 2 cubes = a weaker episode of Archer. I still enjoy watching it, but I would probably never choose it over something else. 1 cube = a really bad episode of Archer. I don't know if there was a writer's strike or if they just were having an off day, or what. Still better than some other TV shows I've sat through.

Q: Why ice cubes? A: Because, every episode has ice cubes in it, or at least the sound of ice cubes clinking in a glass. Or so the legend goes. I may even decide to point out the moment in future episodes, though I promise nothing.

Next time: Archer takes Cyril under his wing, and Chekov’s Gun gets a twist!

[brookecamhi]

The ‘New’Celebrity Apprentice Premiere Thoughts:

ok so i rewatched that CA premiere and it’s... not as bad as I remember it to be live!

Some thoughts on the premiere:

The start was odd. They couldn’t even do a proper voiceover when introducing the celebs? I legit didn’t even remember about three people by the end and I forgot the last names of some celebs while I’m usually good at memorising them.

After CA7 it looks like we’re sticking to 40-ish minute eps. While it really worked on CA7, here, it feels really, really weird. We didn’t even see the presentations in full and the tasks were so rushed that I almost felt like I was watching TARUS production post-25 edit this show.

That said, the BR is still entertaining to see but still, the editing needs to get fixed. We hear shit like Porsha apparently being close to Snooki but we don’t see anything at all before and it’s just rly jarring.

Tyra is amazing and should have been the boss instead of Arnold, especially considering she’s not on ANTM anymore. Hope she continues to make good reactions though her passively staring at the men’s video and then going =O for a good 5 seconds at the women on task 1 was hilar <3

Arnold is ok. He was kind of weird ep1 but settled in a bit better on ep2. Firing lines are hilariously cheesy though and that one random shot of him whispering requiring subtitles to show what he was talking about though lol <3

That said, despite my complaints, I think this season has potential and I will keep watching it as filler until Survivor/TAR return, as a bad premiere does not necessarily mean a bad season immediately (see TARA5/Kaoh Rong), and a good premiere does not mean a good one as well (see TAR28/BBCAN4)!

Some thoughts on the celebs:

Faves:

Porsha Williams - Episode 1 was the Porsha show. Annoying everyone by going on and on (including Arnold) and still surviving <3 Screaming at Carnie to fuck off on ep2 and Carnie actually fucking off <3 Pls win.

Lisa Leslie - She singlehandedly told Carnie she was going to tell her in the BR on ep2 what she did wrong and then after she spoke her speech made Arnold save her and Snooki and THEN fire Carnie immediately without her having a comeback <3 LEGEND!

Boy George - He’s an OTT control freak but the fun kind <3 His mini-feud with Vince and being so pressed’t over him drinking during the task was lulzy and he’s genuinely fun to watch.

Jon Lovitz - Bringing his dog and then saying his suitcase carried drugs was a nice way to begin his journey <3 I also rly like his dynamic with Arnold and it could be really fun to watch down the line. We’ll see.

Kyle Richards - She was pretty quiet on the first ep but on ep2 she morphed into a CPN monster who immediately snapped at Lisa when Lisa tried to throw her under the bus at the BR even when she wasn’t PR and she STILL didn’t get sent back <3 More please.

Carson Kressly - He’s just rly fun all-around. His jokes don’t feel forced, he’s just naturally having fun and being positive and it’s just nice to see a person who’s naturally OTT but not forced in the edit? Loved him working the makeup task on ep1 and leaving the guys shook at his makeup skills.

Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi - I was actually lowkey disappointed because I was expecting Snooki in a business environment to still be Jersey Shore Snooki but instead she was someone who tried to play passively and was afraid to throw people under the bus or start drama :/ She’s a fave simply bc I like her overall and don’t mind her presence, but she’s really disappointing so far.

Brooke Burke-Charvet - MORfun strategist who actively tries to push PM to other members of the team to avoid taking the fall <3 Hope there’s more because she gives off a potentially fiery vibe when she’s eventually forced to become PM.

Carrie Keagan - She was a UTRN presence and was just generally evil throughout the first ep in a fun way by judging everything and then delivering death stares while everyone else argued at the BR. I’ll actually miss her lol.

Okay:

Laila Ali - She hasn’t spoken much (only one confessional and an interrupted BR question via Snooki) but it’s interesting how she’s always integrated with her team and not questioned at all. She’s not as fun as everyone else yet though but she’s okay I guess.

Vince Neil - UTR episode one, kind of fun on episode two but not enough to stan for just yet rly.

Ricky Williams - Same but he was UTR ep2 instead of 1.

Eh:

Matt Isematt - Who?

Chael Sonnen - Who? x2 (I s2g he was even more INV than Lucy Huang in three episodes and this was a 2 hr premiere)

Go Away:

Carnie Wilson - Annoying. Overconfident. Smug. Thank GOD she left via Lisaownage.

Eric Dickerson - Nothing annoys me more than someone who brings nothing to the table and then vanishes for a task, thus surviving another round. Just really, really, annoying, and a pet peeve for this RTV concept.

[kaedekisaragi]

Kaede Kisaragi Watches The Flash S3E17 - Duet

What? We get dressed fancy like this, and only get two songs for each?!?

Awww, 18 years ago, Nora was showing Barry how singing numbers make life better through Gene Kelly ^^

Aww... Barry is torturing himself watching Gene Kelly depressedly at Cisco's. Cisco is sick of his moping about, and wants to help. HR summons them before long, though, so nothing is solved. They arrive at the breach room to find the breach open... And out comes Mon-El and J'onn, carrying Kara. As was done by the criminal at the last episode of Supergirl's cliffhanger.

So, the team gets to know Mon-El. Who puts his foot in his mouth by mentioning his break-up (well, more like J'onn outs him). And HR rubs in the foot-on-mouthness by mentioning Iris and Barry's. The team is quick to make certain though, the 'breacher' is likely coming after Barry... Or rather, he is already there, sitting on the breach room, waving at the camera. I love how J'onn just nods when Barry speeds off, not even blinking about it at this point. HR tries to coax Wally into action, but he is so depressed he even let his hair grow. He does go after, a bit mopey-looking though.

They meet with the criminal, who knows their names and says he's here to teach them all a lesson. AND SOMEHOW HE SPEED TACKLES KID FLASH, BUT IT'S NOT WITH SPEEDSTER ENERGY! He mocks Kid Flash for being scared, and Flash for being slow, putting the whammy on Barry.

Barry wakes up in a suit, in a fancy party, with a gorgeous Kara singing in the lounge. And good god, this Glee reunion is amazing already! ^^ Barry's all smirks and joy at Kara's beautiful voice. The song she sings, seems to tell about how they both are travellers, after the same happy ending. The two reconvene after the song, quickly estabilishing the important things: red handkerchief. Whammy. Coma. Not her boyfriend. Her nothing. The two go out together to figure out what's going on... and they meet Malcolm Merlyn in a casablanca suit. Wait what? No, he's Cutter Moran, owner of the club, and they work for him. Wait what? And Winn's a guy named grady who works for Cutter? And Barry and Kara got no powers? Grady and Cisco... well, not cisco... ARGH x.x It hurts to keep up. Pablo. Grady. Cutter. Pablo wants to sing. And this is like everyone was playing a role... in a musical.

The criminal finally comes in, and explains this world was created by their mutual love of musicals (which means if they loved pornos, this show would be cancelled). He says they'll only manage to escape if they reach the end of the script. Until then, they're stuck in their own heads.

Cue musical as Grady and Pablo are singing from the criminal's cue. Also, Cutter too. Complete with dance number. A little love in your heart will make the world a better place. And Barry's totally enjoying it in silence, the little goof XD So anyway, after it ends, they gotta figure out the plot so they can end it. They are singers. For a gangster. But then another group of gangsters comes in and knocks Barry out. Lead by Stein's doppelganger.

As the two wake up in captivity, Barry gets talking about Mon-El, so she can explain how for 9 months she didn't know he was the prince of daxam. Barry tells her in turn about his problem with Iris. Both bemoan how simple things are when using their powers. Joe comes in. He's Digsy Foss, the guy who owns the town. He needs their help to find his daughter Millie, missing in Cutter's club. And yes, she is Iris. We got our script.

Pablo gives them the tip about where Millie is. Kara tells Barry to keep calm, that Millie isn't Iris. And she's glad she didn't meet anyone looking like Mon-El, who she just might punch... HELLO! MON-EL AND IRIS MAKING OUT. AND IN LOVE. THIS EPISODE IS ALL THAT IS PERFECT LOL

In the real world, Caitlin has examined the two's bodies, and deduced that the criminal is draining power from the two. And indeed, speed-force-fueled criminal is robbing banks with a mash of powers. Kid Flash, Vibe and J'onn (in full Martian form, to Cisco's shock) suit up to go stop the criminal. He once again mocks Kid Flash's fear, and the two have a race off. The criminal then takes off flying, so Cisco coordinates a combo op with the other two: Martian Manhunter flying punch, plus Kid Flash Speed Tackle = one criminal down.

In the dream, turns out, "Tommy" and Millie are both children of mobsters who hate each other... Oh goodie. West side Story. Kara and Barry gotta find a way to convince them to come home to their parents. Turns out, that is easy to do. Weird huh? Weirder still, Stein and Joe are Iris's DADS lol Iris tells them about Tommy. Likewise, Tommy tells his dad about Millie. Neither parent likes it. Barry tries to convince the dads about how strong love should be held tight to, no matter who tries to stop you. Kara, in turn, tells Tommy's dad to try to understand his son better, and why he was afraid to tell. CUE MUSICAL FROM JOE WEST AND I AM GIDDY AS FUCK AND BARRY IS SITTING DOWN TO LISTEN AND I'M LAUGHING SO HARD! AND FUCK, FORGOT MARTIN SING ROCK TOO! THAT WAS A BLOODY HINT LAST EPISODE OF LEGENDS! The dads sing about how they wish nothing but the best for their children.

And then, after the music is done and all is good, they go gather up the boys for war. Well shit.

In the pipeline, Mon-El and Iris demand the criminal to fix Kara and Barry. The guy insists he cannot 'fix' this, that Barry and Kara are in full control of their fates right now. As are the two of them, as he confronts Iris on her love for Barry and Mon-El's for Kara, saying they have the power to save their loved ones with the power of love.

Back in the dream, the duo still don't know what to do, Barry FINALLY letting me use the guy's proper name: Music Meister. They are being summoned by Cutter to do the singing, so they ask Grady for help with coming up with something original... Which he can, of course. Musicals are easier indeed. Barry FINALLY SINGS WITH KARA!!! AND TAP DANCE!!! AND SING ABOUT BEING SUPERFRIENDS ^^ AND JOKE ABOUT COMING BACK IN TIME BEING FORBIDDEN! AND HOW NO ONE SAYS THEY'RE NOT IMPRESSED BY KAL-EL XD AND KARA DOESN'T LIKE HIM USING FLASH PUNS XD AND I'M LOSING MYSELF HERE XD IT'S JUST PERFECTION XD

Aaaand it is time for west side story war. They gunfight outside. Barry rushes out... All our main characters get shot, including Barry and Kara. They are crashing outside the dream. In desperation, Iris begs Cisco to vibe her and mon-el into the dream to save them. Kara and Barry, bleeding on the spot, are found by Iris and Mon-El, who both rush to their side in panic and horror. But they're dying... Mon-El apologizes for lying, and Kara forgives him. Barry says he loves her, and Iris says she does too. They kiss... Both of the couples do... waking them up in real life.

Oh, and Music Meister's out of his cell. Wait what? He says he's here indeed because he... loves the good guys, and was really trying to teach them a lesson. Because he sees everything, and saw two broken hearted people. Love was the lesson. Love is about letting yourself be saved. And just like that, he's off to teach somebody else a lesson, vanishing into thin air, saying only that he's too complex to explain whether he's from another dimension or not.

The team is giddy as they discuss Barry and Kara's amazing singing voices (Caitlin can vouch for Barry's, too!), but it is time to leave. And yes, Kara will drop a geological mountain on you if you lie again, Mon-El. As for Iris and Barry? Well, they go back home... their home. Iris didn't touch a thing in the apartment. She discusses how they did lots in 3 years... But never a musical, no sir. She realizes he was watching musicals... And Barry shows her first hand his amazing singing voice, singing her a love song. AND HE KNOCKS IT THE FUCK OUT OF THE PARK, THAT VOICE IS A DREAM!!! THEY DANCE LOVINGLY AS HE KEEPS ON SINGING HOW HE'LL KEEP RUNNING HOME TO HER! And also how he has no clue about how the future will go... WHIPPING THE RING OUT AND ASKING HER TO MARRY HIM AGAIN, SINCERELY, AND SHE SAYS YES!!!

I'M NOT SCREAMING!!! YOU ARE!!!

This was AMAZING!!! The musical bits were beautiful, everyone did an awesome performance, even the ones I least expected, but of course, the main songs we must love more than anything are the main duet and the ending song. What a wonderful episode this was.

And what about the music meister? His purpose was clear: an outside force, no strings attached, with the sole interest of aiding them through their problems. The producers had commented that they made Iris and Barry break up solely so that Barry would have something to work through here. And Kara's problem was a long time coming (although hers is a whole different beast, because behind the 'you lied to me' argument lies her intolerant hate for all things daxam and refusal to see Mon-El's side in every argument they ever had... Which ironically, is exactly what she told Cutter to avoid doing to his own son. The third end of the plot, of course, was Wally, who was the only one to actually face off against Music Meister in a traditional super fight, and this appeared to be deliberate, so that Music Meister could bring some confidence back to our Kid Flash.

But who is the music meister? A fifth dimension imp, like Mxyzptlk? Or better yet, like Bat-Mite? Is he an avatar for the producers who are sick of writing angst for their cheerful heroes? I personally vote this last one LMAO

[lucyninjawife]

Marriage and Mental Health and Other Illnesses

I like to equate my mental change about 10yrs ago, that’s the youngest of daughters I have who affectionately kicked over all the furniture of my mind. It started off as what I thought was PPD (postpartum depression). That word stood out to me for some reason when I was pregnant with Gianna. It’s weird but I always keep freak things like this in the back of my mind.

I’ll spare you all the details of all the hopelessness and sadness I experienced, but it was really bad. I knew early on it was a condition called Hypothyroidism, but I didn’t have insurance anymore, and the free clinic doctors said that they thought I was just depressed. Depressed, yes, but there was more evidence that it was more, like weight gain, the inability to lose weight, depression, insomnia, mood swings, unexplained anger…. and so on.

I went a few more years white knuckling my symptoms. Putting on a happy face when I didn’t feel like it. I didn’t want to do anything, laughing was a chore, and not to mention having smaller kids that needed my attention.

It took me official 7 yrs to get a semi/half-hearted diagnosis of Hypo. And just last year did I receive the diagnosis of having PCOS( polycystic ovarian syndrome), that is another fun diagnosis that just made things more pronounced. The rule is, when you have one autoimmune disease you almost are laying out the welcome mat for the next one. I have learned that in this last year that most people have two.

Both PCOS and Hypothyroidism mirror the same symptoms such as depression, weight gain, mood swings, bu PCOS makes you insulin resistant, which makes loosing weight almost impossible, more at risk for type 2 diabetes, etc. And all this weighs heavy on the mind.

Not one can speak against a woman who is trying to hold on to hr emotions while nurturing small kids. I closed my daycare biz down a year after Gianna was born, because mentally, I could not keep it together. Frankly, I knew something was real wrong when I was pregnant. I used to go in the kitchen, sit on the floor and sob. I would sob because I was sad. I was sob because I didn’t know why I was sad. And I’ve always been a pretty light person, but this was different.

The Hubs had decided sometime before she came along, that he wanted to go back to school, and he was still finishing up thru it all. Those were also some of the hardest days of my life. A non traditional student, with a full time job and being the sole breadwinner since his wife was incapable.

We are in a world that sees permanent as not that permanate at all. Especially when it comes to vows. Marriage vows are about as serious now as hair color. One day you want this and the next day you aren’t committed to it anymore.

I recently encountered a husband who was looking for an out from his marriage. He talked about having his 3 small kids under 5yrs old, and how his wife seems to be a bit ditzy. He went on to state that his wife is no good with money, manages to keep the kids alive but he felt she had a drinking problem. All symptoms pointing to some type of postpartum something and maybe ADHD and bipolar. I do have a background in psychology, I’m not a doctor but I am equally obsessed with the mind. The Hubs is a Social Worker/Therapist and he’s a stickler for people to misdiagnose people, and I get it. But this husband was/is willing to throw his wife away with really KNOWING why she seems like a ditzy kid.

There was this ABC 20/20 story done some time ago about mothers who drank wine/liquor in their coffee cups because motherhood/parenthood is a LOT. Bringing up kids, for me is a multiple choice. You don’t want them to have the same emotional scars as you but you can’t let them get away with everything either. That alone can drive one, no me, to drink.

I am so grateful to the Hubs for sticking with me, and talking me off many metaphoric ledges about childhood traumas and my recent diagnosis, and teaching me about the triggers I didn’t know that I had.

What I have come to learn in the last decade is, people grow up…. their bodies grow up, but sometimes their minds are time warped. Most times subconsciously if not consciously. Sometimes as we grow as adults, our chemistry changes, which ultimately effects us mentally.

Though we still are fighting a uphill battle in making mental health treatment available to EVERYONE, we are more knowledgable for treatment than even my/our grandparents. I’m lucky that I have a doctor who somewhat lets me guide my care. That doesn’t always happen and I think doctors spoil like old milk. You have to be your own advocate.

If you have a spouse who is suffering from a mental illness here are some actionable tips.

Mental illness doesn’t always have to be the end of the world. Medicine is more advanced, but you have to be ALERT!

You want a doctor that is attentive. There is really no way to know until you have interacted with them a few times like, do they call in prescriptions on time or reply when you need a refill, do they listen to you and give you the respect of knowing your body.

Do your own research!! Sometimes Google can be helpful. Type in your symptoms and see what it says. Sometimes after it pulling up a diagnosis you can read more things about in articles and books.

Join Support groups. Now Facebook is great for this if nothing else. You can find a group that suits your needs, and ask questions, share your experiences, people are really supportive and it’s all hours of the day and night.

Take notes. Don’t come to the doctor empty handed and don’t leave empty handed. Ask questions that you’ve acquired before seeing them and don’t be afraid to contest it.

YOU KNOW YOUR BODY!!! Don’t let anyone tell you that “it’s all in your mind”. You live with you or your spouse, THEY DON”T. If they don’t seem to help solve your issues, FIRE THEM!!

To have a spouse with mental illness doesn’t mean that they should be abandoned. It means you just have to advocate for them in a different way. Have some patience, some optimism, some compassion, some love…. and it wouldn’t hurt to think about those vows “for sickness or in health”.

Another wife I have helped had married her husband who was already diagnosed with Schizophrenia. That diagnosis used to be morbid back in the day. But it wasn’t until I worked with her to “see” him when he went thru a tail spin.

He was “normal” while medicated…. a little laid back and not in any hurry of anything. But one day he felt like he was “healed”. The wife had turned her blind eye to him and his care, their communication was null and void. It had been about 6mo from his last shot. He soon spiraled into a manic stage and it caused a big rift in their life.

But I see a few things wrong with this.

Dealing with a spouse with mental illness starts with communication. A wife (and a husband) should know their husbands’ intimately. Know what makes them tick, his off days, the land mines, etc. And help aid him from going into those areas. It can get to a point where it is unreasonable and unbearable, but that is based on the beholder.

If you really know your husband, you will know what medicine and treatment that will help them stay balanced. There will be up and down days.

Life is like your favorite tv episodes. If it was perfect and without conflict, you’d never watch it. So it’s not the end of the world, just a little bit of a challenge.