#they need to broaden their horizons some

[lucifer-kane]

Guy who’s only listened to TMA listening to any other podcast. Getting a lot of TMA from this one

[fisheito]

i need morvay to teach yakumo how to suck a man's soul out thru his dick

[maroonmused]

it’s been so long since i watched Insomniac’s Wolverine teaser trailer and dp3 got me thinking about it again so just rewatched it,, god.

so excited to see where they take it, i can’t remember if they confirmed that it was going to be “open world” similar to the way GOW (2018) is when certain parts of the map open up for side quests, and generally tried not to pay much attention to the wolverine leaks when they got hacked last winter, but i really do want to see how their studio takes on a rated M game/hero, and logan in particular. i think it’s a safe bet that maybe there isn’t any spider-man 2 dlc coming down the pipeline which kinda bums me out but it’s not the worst thing in the world if all that means is they’re full throttle into wolverine development with what i imagine is gonna end up being a late 2025/early 2026 release date.

and if the way i latched onto insomniac’s version of pete is any indication i’m prepared to be so. insufferable about this

[moonlightandromache]

okay like i want to preface that i do not have anything against the storylines that they are doing, i’m straight vibing with this season, having fun. i just want to say it’s a little frustrating to me that 911 keeps tacking on these buck and/or eddie centric “surprise” scenes at the end of an episode because then it becomes the big talking point of the episode after the fact and a lot of the other stuff that happened in it falls away to the sides a bit

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

June subtly glanced Elizabeth's way when she overheard her and Emily's conversation, taking a sip from her own sparkling apple cider as she mulled over these remarks quietly. She didn't want to jump to any conclusions, however (nor give voice to these conclusions either), and settled for setting aside her glass and contentedly leaning her head against her husband's shoulder as Dorian happily regaled the group with stories from his and Randall's youth.

"...I admit, the violin was never my preferred musical instrument," Dorian was saying with an impish grin. "I was good at it, but I just never thought I was destined to become a legendary violin player like my mother expected, and so I was always trying to find a way out of my lessons, and our sprawling garden made for an excellent place to hide. Admittedly, Beau knew it was where I'd go first, since Randall and his mother would be out there, but he'd seldom be too hard on me about it. He knew I didn't like the violin very much, and that I'd rather be outside with my best friend."

"Contributing to the delinquency of one of your own students, Mr. Ghast?" August chuckled as Beau came around to refill both Dorian and August's glasses (the Burke patriarch having decided to be daring enough to have a glass of wine with dinner). Smiling as slyly as the young master, Beau replied, "Only here and there-I knew what Mr. and Mrs. Gracey expected of their son, and so I tried to keep him in the classroom as much as I could, learning the violin, French, cursive, all lessons they wanted me to teach him...but what good was having a young friend on the estate if they couldn't play together?"

"A very good point," August admitted-all work and no play never did a young mind any good, he felt, and so he could get behind Beau allowing his young charge to run free and enjoy his childhood, especially with his grandson. It had to have been a pleasant change of pace for the both of them, given the lives they both led.

"And besides, Dorian didn't need my help in his delinquency," Beau chuckled. "Even before he met Randall, he was always very clever at sneaking out when I had my back turned and taking off down the hall to find some sweets and hole up somewhere I couldn't find him. Between the two of them, Dorian was easily the brains of the operation."

"Guilty as charged!" Dorian grinned, raising his hand as he added, "If anything, Randall did his best to keep us out of trouble, while I was the one trying to make trouble in the first place!"

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

if i had a nickel for every time a blog i perceive as famous followed me id have three nickels

I-

Me? Famous? I don't- maybe?

[radicalrascals]

FYI Rafael would absolutely pick fights with arseholes online who justify their blatant xenophobia by being 'woke'. ✨Because it's cool to hate other countries and spread misinformation when you don't speak the language uwu✨ I mean, he would pick fights with those idiots irl, too, but so would all my other muses. Rafa is just the most media competent to care about online hate.

[starbuck]

Hey friends! I recently got my driver’s license (FINALLY!!!!!), so, if anybody has any recipe recommendations—particularly dinner recipes of easy-to-moderate difficulty OR healthy snack-type things i could take to work—i am ALL ears because i’m about to enter my Meal Planning Era.

[waffluous]

i've been trying to jot down a bunch of ideas that come to my head, some of which including:

mafia au sho + guitar

mafia au masa + sketchbook

idol sho or masa + drawing

idol masa + soulmate

[larkandkatydid]

I do find it increasingly uncomfortable how much of an expectation there is for adults, even childless adults, to be delighted by and engaged with media that is made for children. No adult needs to “broaden” their horizons by reading YA books. It’s is weird and shameful to read primarily children’s’ books if you are not a child! You deserve to be looked down upon for this! It’s weird for childless adults to watch Bluey, though I agree with my parenting friends that it’s excellent SEL content, which I will never watch because I am a fucking grown-up. The great privilege and joy of childlessness is being free from the dumb shit that innocent children love. It’s contemptible that adults deny themselves this privilege and it’s creepy that mass culture encourages this. Let’s celebrate the freedom of our barren wombs with some fucking Robert Caro and some bitter-tasting foods.

[jinkiezzsstuff]

Hello dear!! I have a request for the Radio Demon

Do you mind writing sub!Alastor? Imagine your in lobby of the hotel with your beloved Alastor (on his lap) and you decide to do some frisky cockwarming with him.. well in the beginning he has control but then maybe Charlie or Lucifer u walks in.. you decide to tease him until he can't take it anymore and ends up having to cover his moans as he gums in you..

Welp! That's my request🎀 you can delete this ofc but do as you will ~

from windigo anon🦌

i’m drooling, frothing at the mouth, going insane, i love this idea!!! eeeee thank you so much i hope this was good enough i struggled a bit with cockwarming so i hope i did well

Warnings: 18+ SMUT, cockwarming, SUB!Alastor/DOM!Reader, creampie, possible breeding kink, exhibitionism, Lucifer knows what you’re doing, he’s the devil, and you use him to tease Al, jealous lucifer, lucifer is a cuck lowkey, reader wears a dress but no gendered terms or anything, maybe threesome elements?, OOC ALASTOR, NOT proof read, LMK what i missed! xo

word count: 1.9K

You and Alastor have been a thing for a very long time, and throughout the years he’d become rather comfortable with sexual intimacy. Alastor always held the reigns no matter where in life he was, that is excluding the bedroom. Alastor had made a foolish deal with you long ago, he wanted your soul and you were a fairly powerful demon at the time so there was a sit down conversation about such endeavours. You agreed to sell your soul and tie yourself to him, complete all tasks he needed done, so long as he was your bitch. Well, that wording wasn’t used back then, nor was there any sexual innuendos in the mix.

Before it simply meant he couldn’t try to place fear into you, he always had to speak truthfully when it came to you, and if plan involved you, essentially to the outside world he was allowed to look like the boss but behind closed doors he wasn’t allowed to pull that stunt. You two ended up getting along quite nicely as the years went by, your magic side of the deal made it so if he broke his promises, the deal would be off and more then likely fatal to the both of you, so it wasn’t too surprising things went well.

What was surprising was the relationship you developed, Alastor was unable to lie to you about most things due to your deal and most of the time you approached him as a peer lacking judgement. Even when you disagreed with his plans you still still gave your genuine advice and thoughts which made him trust you. Slowly through this weird bond of trust and leaning on each other, Alastor developed romantic feelings and thank god you felt them back.

Alastor was slow to warm up to affections, which meant you normally took over, letting him keep his poise and smile you’d always make the first move, asking for consent to push further whether it was a simple hug, kiss, or a little more frisky. Eventually though, things got to the point they’re at now, where Alastor craves you like his lungs crave air. He is ravenous for your touch, your kiss, your head surrounding his cock. It’s a tough couple months during mating season because he begs and begs for you like a starved man.

Because of his eagerness for you, and to please you, he’s very kindly broadened his horizons leading to absolutely tasteful trying of kinks. Recently the two of you have been planted at the hotel, Alastor called upon you the day he got there, and privately when alone explained his plans with the Devils child, your man had always been an ambitious one, but you couldn’t say no to him. So of course you stood alongside his plans, and now you’re not only dealing with the Devils child, but the devil himself.

Lucifer moved himself in after the big ol’ brawl, and thankfully things have gone somewhat smoothly between Alastor and Lucifer, as in they haven’t killed each other yet, but Lucifer made it his absolute mission to try and “steal you away,” like he did with Adam. Obviously you were committed to Alastor, but your mind would wander to sinful places about all the ways you could show Lucifer how much you loved you deer man. Oh and you just knew how.

Alastor sat in the lobby, looking through a newspaper as he sipped his coffee, music humming softly in the background. The whole lobby was vacant, even Husk was gone for the moment, you made sure of it. Walking into the lobby from the kitchen, your dress flowing around your legs, you walked up to Alastor with a warm smile on your face. “What’re you up to my dear?” You ask softly, making him hum eyes shifting from his newspaper to you, dragging up your form. “Just a little bit of reading, nothing much my doe,” Alastor seemed sleepy almost in the state he was in, his voice was soft and lacking his usual enthusiasm, however it wasn’t a state you were unfamiliar with knowing him for so long.

Slowly you lowered yourself sideways onto his lap, he complied with your actions wordlessly by whisking his newspaper away with his magic, allowing you to scootch yourself right up on him. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you played with the short hairs at the base, causing him to visibly shiver. Alastor smiled down at you softly, watching you tenderly. “I feel,” You whispered with a pause, mimicking somebody taking a thoughtful breath. “Needy.” You breathe out with a cheesy smile plastered on your face. Alastor jolts a bit still entirely not used to forward language such as that, but he didn’t say anything simply blinked at you.

“I think i’m gonna lift this dress up, and your gonna unbuckle these pants, and i’m gonna seat myself nice n comfy on ya,” You purred hands messaging all around his chest as you spoke, trailing down to the button of his slacks and back up to his shoulders. You felt him twitch against his pants, the blood obviously was already flowing to his groin. “Dear we’re in public.” Try as he may, Alastors words were wobbly and his smile looked more like a grimace.

“No baby, we’re in private, in our new home, at the hotel, where no one can see.” You cooed condescendingly, pulling your hands away to hike up your dress. Alastor dared to looked down as you bunched your dress at your hips. Alastor closed his eyes, head falling back at the sight of you bare, nothing but your dress skirt keeping you covered. Turning yourself around, you put your back to him, grinding yourself down on him teasingly.

“Y’know what to do, don’t make me say it dear.” Your voice was stern compared to the tone you held before, Alastor blew out air at your words, head still thrown back at rest on the back of the sofa. Finally he brought his hands from the resting position next to him, and freed himself from his slacks and boxers. You sighed happily as you slowly inched your way down on him, Alastors hands gripped your hips harshly, and his legs kicked out and spasmed every inch you took down.

Once buttoned out, you fixed your gown to flow around you, and backed yourself up against his chest, head rested on his shoulder. Brining his head up to gaze down at you, Alastor gave you a questioning look, sweat already gathering on his forehead. “Dear please-” Alastors words got caught off by a boisterous call, and the front door swinging open. Fixing his posture, Alastor snapped into position, positioning his legs up right feet on the floor, straightening his back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you up with him.

“Hellloooo everybody! Just had an amazing meeting, everything went in my favour, as always.” Lucifer waltzed in swinging his cane. He briefly paused scanning the room to see only you two sitting stiffly. You were more relaxed, eyes littled with an easygoing smile, Alastor however was tense; his smile was tight and unfriendly, with his eye twitching. “Well hello there you two, lovely to see you here.” Lucifer smiled happily plopping himself on the couch next to you, making you two shake.

The small bit of motion from Lucifer throwing himself down, made you clench, your arousal leaking down Alastors cock and onto his pants. Clearing his throat to suppress a moan, Alastor then gave a tiny ‘hello’ to the devil. Turning your body more toward the devil, you made sure to pick yourself up off Alastor a bit, and lower yourself back down, making him sink his nails into you.

Wrapping one arm around Alastors neck, you leaned sideways against him, facing Lucifer, your skirt successfully obstructing the entire view of your sin. “Do tell Luce.” You urge pretending to care, Lucifer caught on to the strange behaviour immediately however he wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it yet, so he pushed on shrugging and explaining his meeting. You coyly moaned occasionally throughout his explanations playing it off as “oh”s and “ah”s to his story rather than Alastors twitching cock.

Leaning forward Alastor stuck his blushing face in your hair, breathing heavily into it. “Is he doing okay?” Lucifer asked suddenly, quirking a brow at Alastor. Around your waist Alastors arms tightened, and his legs once again spread and splayed out a bit allowing him more space. Alastor felt pitiful, but in a way he loved it, only you had this power and nobody else, he could live with that. Alastor was too blitzed out to realise he’d subtly humped up into you, needing some sort of release. Playing with Alastors hair, you shrugged your shoulders at the devil, your poise still in tacked.

“Yes, I do believe he’s a little sickly.” Lucifer noticed the twitch in Alastors hips now, his eyes growing in size every so slightly. “Yknow i just want to stay something Lucifer,” You begin to say, eyeing Al from your peripheral, seeing his eyes closed. “I really think we ought to stop with the battle, Alastor treats me very well, very good,” You purr fixing your posture, making Alastor groan into your hair.

“I think it’s time to stop with the whole ‘i could take your partner’ shtick.” You say sharply, with finality, Lucifers eyes at this point were flicking back and forth between the two of you, a prominent blush on his face. You grinned cheekily once again and shifted again trying to fix yourself to face forward again, as you did so you heard Lucifer take a breath to speak, but it got interrupted by a guttural groan from Alastor.

Without warning Alastors legs flexed his hips jerking involuntarily up against you, it caught you off guard and made you gasp and moan. It didn’t stop after one thrust, Alastor sunk his teeth into your shoulder jerking his hips up into you, panting and groaning without care. With one forceful thrust and growl, you whined feeling him force himself against you fully, cumming far up into you, stealing your breath. Lucifer watched bug eyed and taken aback, he never saw Alastor so pleasured, now he felt a ping of jealousy; before this moment he wanted to steal you away to show you how much better he can fuck you compared to Alastor, now he wanted you to fuck him and make him feel the way Alastor felt now.

Alastors form grew demonic, stretching and contorting, you still in his lap. You didn’t move an inch as he contorted, not afraid of Alastor what so ever. Alastors neck snapped inhumanely to Lucifer. “You are to never speak of this again.” Alastors voice didn’t sound like his own when he spoke, and whether or not Lucifer was truly scared didn’t matter as he fumbled, stuttered and then stumbled off covering his eyes and apologising. With the snap of his fingers, Alastor magicked the two of you in the safety of his radio tower, where no one dared to enter unwelcomed. “Dear, that was unacceptable. But amusing, you get away with this little fiasco only because it was Lucifer you did it in front of.”

Alastor growled at you demonic form on display, smile stretched, he had your cheeks tightly pinched in between his nails. Shrugging your shoulders, you tiptoed up to give his teeth a coy kiss. “Whatever maybe now he’ll leave us alone.”

[botanicalsword]

House Stellium • Harmonising your energy

Advices for those with prominent House Stellium

This is relevant for Natal Chart, Progression Chart, Solar Return Chart, and Lunar Return Chart.

✧

1st House Stellium - maintain humility & an open mindset

be open to others' opinions and not be too arrogant

listen to your inner voice, trust your intuition and inner feelings - learn to listen to others' perspectives

gain different angles of thinking and experiences

✧

2nd House Stellium - hard work and savings

avoiding get-rich-quick schemes, seeking luck, or engaging in illegal ways

through diligence and frugality, steadily accumulate wealth and achieve your goals

✧ 3rd House Stellium - talents and interests

leverage your expressive and communication abilities to excel in the field of culture and the arts

showcase your uniqueness in the arts and cultural domains

enhance your expressive and communication skills to engage with others and share your thoughts and creativity

✧ 4th House Stellium - explore unknown territories

explore the world outside and not stay too isolated at home.

actively participate in social activities - step out of your comfort zone

broaden your horizons, enrich your life experiences - interact with different groups of people

✧ 5th House Stellium - the importance of financial knowledge

study investment theories - can better manage and grow our financial assets

engage in moderate entertainment and relaxation outside of work - maintaining a balance

✧ 6th House Stellium - physical health

be attentive, and diligent but overworking

maintain a balance between work and life

Sustaining good physical health - enhance work efficiency and life quality

schedule work and rest time properly

✧ 7th House Stellium - choice of partner

be cautious in choosing partners, whether in relationships or business ventures

Good partnerships - shared success

unsuitable partners - unnecessary troubles and difficulties

✧ 8th House Stellium - unexpected circumstances

leave room for alternatives when dealing with matters - reduce anxiety and stress

have backup plans and maintain being calm / let go

✧

9th House Stellium - knowledge and wisdom

read more books, explore the world

understand different cultures and perspectives, and expand our thinking and cognitive range

Reading - transport us into a colorful world, stimulating our imagination and creativity.

✧ 10th House Stellium - quality of life

excel in work or entrepreneurship while also giving yourselves some space for personal life

pursue professional success while paying attention to our quality of life

need time to rest, engage in leisure activities

spend time with family and friends

✧ 11th House Stellium - self-acceptance

strong interpersonal skills

avoid relying too much on others' approval

maintain authenticity and independence

not excessively conforming to others' expectations or seeking validation for satisfaction

believe in our value and capabilities

maintain confidence and self-esteem

✧ 12th House Stellium - kindness and empathy 

qualities of tolerance and inclusiveness

sympathize with others' experiences

avoid procrastination

take proactive actions and avoid delaying problem-solving or pursuing our goals

forgiveness towards others and yourselves - release inner tolerance and goodwill

✧

Dear 12th House Stellium

12th House Stellium Part I (Extended)

12th House Dominance Part II (Extended)

Hidden strength of 12th House (Extended)

>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content

Exclusive access : Patreon

✧

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Can you tell me some cheeses? I need to broaden my grilled cheese horizons

The following cheeses have been approved for use in grilled cheese sandwiches by the American Cheesiological Society:

Cheddar

Mozzarella

Colby

Monterey Jack

Pepper Jack

John Jacob Jingleheimer Jack

Camembert

Swiss

Gouda

The following cheeses are not recommended for use in grilled cheese sandwiches by the American Cheesiological Society:

Blue

Cottage

Cream

Feta

Limburger

Parmesan

Stilton

Sub-Stilton

Anti-Stilton

The following cheeses have been deemed critically dangerous for use in grilled cheese sandwiches by the American Cheesiological Society:

Casu Martzu

Terminus Brie

Muenster

Do not under any circumstances attempt to grill these cheeses, as doing so may result in death, mass hysteria, plague, war, the summoning of occult beasts, false-vacuum decay events, deicide, and/or muenstral cramps.

[sobbingscripter]

Tags: [mlw][crack][fluff][reader is an asshole][this is their karma for some shit they did in the past]

Includes: Damian Wayne; Bruce Wayne; Dick Grayson

A/n: a lil' drabble to broaden my horizons and see if I should stick to smut :3

"Okay, listen here, Sulu, I don't take orders from you. I take orders from your mother. So if she says I need to keep you safe, best believe, I'm doing my job to the best of my ability."

You're off-putting on your best day.

Alfred and Jason love to call you Damian's karma for him being a massive dick, and Bruce likes to call you.... Well... When Damian's not on his best behaviour.

"Listen, Cobra Kai, you better get your shit straight and listen to Batman." You stare at Damian, your eyes narrowing at him with distaste, upper lip curling in disdain before you look up at Bruce, your expression warm and your eyes fucking sparkle like a supernova.

"Huge fan." You reassure Bruce before looking back at Damian, finding those emerald eyes simmering with barely contained rage and he just about has it when you take two fingers, pointing them at your eyes and then, pointing them at his.

And almost as if to drive in your point (which you definitely do not have), you take a hefty bite of the nearest edible thing to you as you stand in the centre of the kitchen.

The nearest thing being an onion. Freshly peeled.

Your teeth sink into the flesh of the vegetable, and your throat burns but you don't waver, simply retreating back to your assigned bedroom and Jason lets out a whistle, muscular arms crossing over his broad chest.

"I expected her to start tearing up at the taste." Jason comments, taking a bite of the orange in his hand, the fruit already peeled and missing a few bites, which suggests that he didn't even cut it.

"I don't think she can cry." Bruce mutters quietly, before letting a shiver run down his spine and he visibly shudders. "She's intense."

Meanwhile, you're in the en suite of your room, coughing your lungs out your ass and trying not to gag as you feed yourself palmfuls of water from the bathroom sink. The water's clean, clear enough to be drinkable and you rinse your mouth. Your lashes are wet with unshed tears as you allow yourself to sink to the cool bathroom tiles, resting your back against the wall and you wipe the water droplets from your chin, letting out panted breaths.

"Holy shit." You mutter quietly.

Talia had trained you personally, wanting you to be her son's bodyguard when he needed it the most. And she deems him 'needing it the most', as now. When he's been living with his father for about 9 years. When he's 6 foot 2. When he's jacked and a fucking ninja who quite literally, is like...

Have you ever seen that movie? Ninja Assassin?

That's Damian.

Moving organs and shit.

It's barely midnight when Damian clomps into your bedroom, arms folded across his chest and he stares at you from beneath dark lashes, eyes glittering like jewels in a cove as he spits out.

"What do I have to do, to make you leave?"

His expression is tight, eyes narrowing and the muscle in his jaw is wound tighter than... Well a wire. That's wound super tight around a thing.

Damian's fingers tap impatiently on his bicep as he waits for you to answer his question, the fabric of his T-shirt stretching tightly around the muscles of his torso, extending past the waistband of his pants. And he runs his tongue across his teeth, stopping at the sharp point of his canine.

"I'm waiting, vermin."

You scoff.

"Calm down, Beverly Hills Ninja." You watch Damian's jaw tick in annoyance at the nickname.

Somehow, they always seem to get worse. Even when they're... Awful.

"I'm not gonna be here for any longer than you need me to be."

Your voice is as grating to his ears as nails to a chalkboard, but that stupid cadence and the lilt of your tone have his mind wracking for ways to put your stupid mouth to better use.

"I don't need you to be here." Damian grumbles.

"Listen, Kung Fu Hustle," you roll your eyes, readying yourself to go to bed as the back of your head makes contact with the puffed up pillow, the satin pillowcase making you let out a sigh of relief, "I'll tell you what you need."

Bruce would actually rather be in that alley again than work another case with your dumb ass.

Commissioner Gordon's protege, the only officer that somehow seems like a combination of Spencer Reid and Jake Peralta. But more Jake, than anything.

"Come on, Sherlock Homo." You snap your fingers in front of Bruce's cowl-covered face, but you watch as his eyes narrow while he stares down at you. But he doesn't speak, simply glancing back towards the clues laid across the surface of the desk in front of you two.

In the archives of the GCPD building, Bruce and you remain working silently. His wards having taken over his patrol, giving him the time for a physical breather but God, his jaw finds itself clenched tighter than Arthur's fist.

The air smells like musty books and ink, a hint of pine cleaner and you settle into your seat, lifting the clue to your eyes, scanning over the parchment for any kind of spot that could mean something.

"I think we should refer to previous riddles." Bruce hums softly, biceps bulging beneath the Kevlar of his suit, his cape fluttering in the breeze that creeps through rusted vents.

"Or we can use Chat GPT?"

Bruce watches, his expression falling to one of incredulity as he watches you grab your phone from your bag, the device just so...

He's distressed, on your behalf.

15%. A few cracks in your screen guard and that bright notification that says your storage is far too full for your phone to be functioning optimally.

And Bruce watches as you type the riddle into the AI app, and he watches as those dots appear, signalling a response being formulated. And Bruce nearly groans aloud when he sees an ad light up your screen.

And he pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration when he watches you screenshot the name of the stupid widget app, saving it for later when you can download it.

"Should we use my phone?"

Bruce's question is unexpected and you crease your brows, shaking your head.

"Nah, I just need to connect to the wifi."

And Bruce wipes his hands over his face, a low groan rumbling in his broad chest before he drops into the seat beside you, and he waits for you.

Each minute seems like a lifetime, and he hears that little beep.

"Did you get an answer?" Bruce questions, his voice tinged with barely contained annoyance, frustration. Almost everything that points to him yanking out his luxurious, inky hair.

"It says I used up my free messages." You purse your lips. "I'm gonna make a new email really quickly."

Half an hour passes before you get an answer. Which is, that there is no answer.

"This...—" Bruce let's out a shaky breath. "Have you ever been told that you're disorganised?"

And you scoff, raising a hand in Bruce's direction to dismiss him.

"Listen, Karate Kid, who went to police academy?" You question Bruce. "Not me, but still. I've still got the badge, American Ninja."

"You're not a legal officer?!"

"License and registration, Mr Wing."

Dick can't believe this.

He's getting a speeding ticket for chasing a fucking criminal on his bike.

"They have my secret identity on them, so I can't give it to you." Dick answers, pulling his bike onto the curb and cutting the engine, and he rests his forearms on the space between the handlebars. Because he just knows this is gonna take a while.

"So you're impersonating right now?"

Dick rolls his eyes behind his mask, and his lips part to protest.

"Listen, officer, I'm in a bit of a hurry and it'd be really nice if you could just... Not do this right now."

Dick's trying to be nice, really. Trying to respect the law and act like a model citizen, like the kind of citizen he'd be happy to protect and serve.

"Well, too bad Britney Allen, justice... Isn't nice. Justice is messy, hard and fast. Like a creampie." And you pull the notebook out of your back pocket, the action of tilting your body just a bit draws Dick's attention to your body.

Perfect hips, only accentuated by those stupid cuffed, cargo pants and that bulky holster belt.

Dick clears his throat.

He seriously cannot be finding you sexy right now.

"So, Twinkle toes, you wanna tell me why you're going 130 in a 80 zone?" You hum, eyes lowered to the notebook in your hands, continuing to scrawl his parking ticket before you glance towards the number plate of the sportbike.

Or more accurately, the lack thereof.

"Oh, Pom Poms," you muse, laughter in your voice as you continue to scrawl, "riding without a number plate? That's an 80 dollar fine."

Rummaging through a hidden compartment, long gloved fingers wrap around a hundred dollar bill before handing it to you. And you pocket it.

"Now what about the fine?"

[ambitionsgreaterthan]

The discourse surrounding the When the phone ring male lead is fascinating, I think some people need to broaden their horizons a little and watch more dramas. Engaging with fictional romance solely in terms of green flag/red flag is not only strange but reductive, dramas aren't supposed to be a depiction of the fantasy relationship you want in real life (although if that's how you choose to engage with them, some of them can be) they're supposed to tell good stories and deliver interesting and complex characters and relationships. And if you equate fictional morality with that of real life then I don't know what to tell you other than :

[innerempire]

Peter bringing home the boys he casually dates during college to introduce them to his dad, Tony. Tony thinks none of them are good enough for his brilliant boy, gives them the (extreme) shovel talk and it usually scares them off. Peter pretends not to know why none of his relationships work out as soon as he brings them home, but he’s secretly pleased because he only ever brings them home to kind of piss Tony off.

Sure, it’s fucked up that he enjoys seeing how territorial Tony can get over his own kid.

Because Peter’s a little shit, he decides to test the waters as to how Tony would react to him dating someone much older.

It’s his dad’s go-to place for business-related meetings, and of course Peter had purposely suggested to his date that they should have lunch there. Considering that he’s the Tony Stark’s son, Peter does have some pull of his own and requests for a table that puts him within Tony’s line of sight. He’s a little shit that loves being the centre of Tony’s attention, so he lets his date touch his hands. Accepts the casual hand on his thigh, and feigns interest in whatever it is that he’s saying.

He feigns surprise when they’re informed a few minutes later (a grand total of three minutes) that someone of importance has closed out the entire restaurant. It’s even more obvious when Tony stops by their table and tells the guy to fuck off.

“Dad.”

“You know, Pete, when I said you should broaden your horizons, I didn’t mean dating someone who looks as if they belong in a geriatric home.”

“He’s only 45!”

“Really? A bit too early to be having that tiny bald spot at 45, don’t you think?”

“Dad.” Peter snorts. “I know you’re always saying I deserve the best. But finding someone who can provide and take care of me the way you do is damn near impossible. And you know that. I’m starting to think that you secretly like it that you’re the only one capable of doing so.”

Tony grins at Peter in that infuriatingly cheeky way of his, leaning back comfortably against his chair, “I don’t think it’s ever been a secret, Pete. Do you really need anyone else when you’ve got your daddy?”

“Well, daddy dearest.” Peter leans forward in his seat, eyeing Tony. “Is that why you’ve been purposely sabotaging all my relationships?”

Tony calls the maitre d’ over, requesting to be served their usual favorites.

“Dad.”

“They should stuck around if they were serious about taking care of you.”

“Dad, you threatened Harry so badly that he dropped out of our Statistical Mathematics class and till today, he runs off in the opposite direction whenever he spots me.”

“Honey, all I said was that no one would be able to find his body if he ever treats you wrong. I’ve watched enough Criminal Minds and NCIS to cover my tracks.” It’s not something to be joked about, but Peter laughs. “You’re my precious baby boy.”

After lunch, Tony brings Peter to one of the boy’s favorite boutiques to shop at as an “apology” for “disrupting the date”, and Peter can’t complain.

“You know, since no one ever comes close to the way you take care of me, maybe I should just date you, dad.”

Tony nearly drops the bottle that he’s in the midst of uncorking, Peter watching gleefully from where he’s comfortably sitting cross-legged on the sofa.

“No one’s good enough, dad. You’ve raised the bar so high that everyone else pales in comparison. You’ve spoiled me.”