#they might grow on me but i think coming after series 16 is not a point in their favor

[saltinesinsoup]

enjoying the latest season of taskmaster but these contestants haven’t grown on me as fast as last season’s have.

[lightsoutletsgo]

the one where ollie lives alone (cl.16 x bearman!reader)

pairing: mainly ollie bearman x oldersister!reader for this part but there's a plenty of charles leclerc x bearman!reader here and there!

word count: 4.2k

warnings: a whole lot of stupidity mentions of death, seemingly angsty in some parts (you'll see what I mean) this might be one of my favourite parts I've written for any series ever 😭 it's so dumb but so funny (according to the people who proofread for me!) as always let me know what you think! your comments are always appreciated. happy reading! mimi 🤍

taglist: @arieslost @iamapersonwholikesunicorns

“Jesus Y/N, what the hell is in here?” Ollie wheezed as he staggered past you, arms straining under the weight of the box he was carrying. You rolled your eyes, “You’re so dramatic Ols, it’s literally just makeup.” 

“Is that the last box ma belle?” You turned and saw Charles in the doorway, staring at you fondly. “Mhmm! Everything else is in the van.” You held your arms out to him and he crossed the room, pulling you in by your waist and kissing you softly, “I can’t believe you’re finally coming home with me…” You smiled, looping your arms round his neck, “Me either,” He booped your nose with his own, a loud cough making the two of you jump apart as Ollie leaned against the doorframe, one eyebrow raised, “Are you two done being gross?” “Shut up dummy.” You punched his arm as you walked past him towards the front door. You inhaled deeply, it felt strange but exciting to be moving out and into Charles’ apartment. 

Behind you, Charles watched Ollie stare at you, looking like he wanted to say something. He quietly padded up behind the younger driver and nudged his arm,  “Are you going to miss her?” Ollie was startled but quickly scoffed, “Hmm? No way!” Charles gave him a pointed look, “I get the whole place to myself! I can’t wait!” Charles gave him a smile and punched his arm gently, “We’re only ten minutes away if you need us.” Ollie laughed, “Thanks but I can manage!” 

♯ incident 1 - the dishwasher ⊹.∿  As it turned out, Ollie could in fact, not manage. Mere hours after you’d left him, you found yourself sprinting back up the stairs, cursing the old apartment building for still not having an elevator. You reached the floor of your old apartment and checked the door to see if it was open, turning the handle and entering you called out, “Ollie? I got your text!” You poked your head into each room as you went, searching for him, “What’s the emer…gen…cy…” You trailed off as you reached the kitchen, Ollie staring up at you with wide eyes, crouching next to the dishwasher that was… pouring out soapy bubbles? “Ollie!” “I think I made a mistake.” He said dryly, suspiciously poking some of the bubbly foam next to his shoulder, “Yeah, no shit Sherlock.” You said sarcastically, thinking of a solution, “You put dish soap in didn’t you?” He nodded sheepishly, “There were no dishwasher tablets left so I just… thought on my feet?” You facepalmed and sighed, “Okay well, we need to- DON’T OPEN IT!”

You looked on in horror as Ollie pulled open the door and a torrent of soapy warm foam spilled out and all over the kitchen floor, creeping further into the centre of the room, was it… growing? You looked over at your brother to see him staring back at you with comically wide eyes. “So that’s why we don’t do that.” You said, face deadpan. Ollie giggled nervously, “Oops?” A snort from behind you had you turning round to see Charles filming the whole thing, “Oh some help you are babe.” Charles coughed to cover up his laughter as he put his phone away and entered the foamy bubbly monstrosity that was now the kitchen. “Somewhere under here there’s a bucket and mop.” “Ollie?” “Yeah?” “You’re going in.” 

♯ incident 2 - french toast ⊹.∿ A few days had passed since the dishwasher incident and you dozed in Charles’ arms, enjoying the lazy Sunday morning sun slipping through the bedroom curtains. The previous night’s activities had left you a little worn out and with no plans for the day, you had wordlessly agreed that a cosy day in bed was just what you needed. A shrill sound pierced the air and jolted both you and Charles awake. You scrambled to find your phone, as Charles groaned, hands rubbing his face as your hand came up to feel how quickly your heart was pounding. You glanced at the screen as your hand met your phone and you scowled, Charles rubbing your back and doing his best not to laugh as he saw who was calling you,  “Ollie Bearman, you better have a damn good reason for calling me this early on a Sunday morning.” There was a pause, “It’s eleven o’clock?-” “That’s not the point!” You sighed, “What do you need?” “Well, you see… I have a question.” “Go ahead,” “So I was making french toast right? And I followed the recipe exactly as you wrote it out! Right amount of eggs, milk and sugar.” “So what’s the issue?” Ollie sighed, “It won’t cook but it smells a bit smokey…” You pinched the bridge of your nose, “Then turn it down?” “I don’t know how!” “Turn the hob dial down dummy!” Ollie went silent for a second, “Did you say hob dial?” Alarm bells started ringing in your head, “Why would I adjust the hob when I’m using the toaster.” You froze for a moment before pulling your phone away from your ear and putting it on speaker, unable to believe what you were hearing, “I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Charles gave you a concerned look, sitting even closer to you and wrapping one arm around you while the other rubbed your knee comfortingly 

“I said, I’m using the toaster.” You stared at your phone, mouth slightly agape, “You’re making french toast in the toaster?” “Correct.” Charles snorted and choked back a huge guffaw of laughter as the hand he’d placed on your knee came up to cover his mouth, his face turning pink with how hard he was laughing, “Ollie! French toast isn’t made in the toaster!” “It’s called french toast!” You pressed the video button and changed the call to facetime. Your brother stared back at you, looking rather dishevelled, “That’s a rather deceiving name if you ask me!” You groaned, facepalming, “You make it in a frying pan” Charles was no help next to you as he wheezed silently, grabbing his own phone to record the conversation for later use and hilarity. “Well how was I supposed to know that?!” Ollie was indignant as he pleaded with you through the screen, “OLLIE! You’ve watched me make it hundreds of times!” He pouted through the screen letting out a little ‘hmmph’ “Well if you hadn’t abandoned me, we wouldn’t have this issue would we!” You rolled your eyes, “For the last time, I did not abandon you! I live a 10 minute walk away!” 

You sighed before laughing at your brother lovingly, “Alright then silly, head over for lunch and I’ll show you how to make french toast the proper way.” Charles snorted once more and you both burst into giggles as your brother scowled at you, “Stop laughing at me!” Ollie whined, you caught your breath and wiped your eyes, heart warm at the silly moment you knew would turn into a fond memory, “Uhhhh Y/N?” You looked back at the screen to where Ollie was turning the camera round to show you a sparking, smoking toaster, “I don’t think it should be doing that…” You cursed as Charles scrambled out of bed, pulling mismatching socks on as you grabbed a hoodie, “Change of plans Ols, we’re on our way!” 

♯ incident 3 - Gerald ⊹.∿ Things were peaceful for a couple of days after the french toast debacle - something you were more than thankful for, wrapped up in your perfect little bubble with Charles. Of course you continued to text Ollie, but there had been no major crisis that required your immediate attention. Until there was. 

It had been one of those long lazy days spent at home, until Charles had announced he was taking you to dinner and told you to get all dressed up. You’d slipped on one of his favourite numbers and he’d shown his appreciation more than once, sliding his hands round your hips and squeezing while you waited to be seated, pulling your chair out for you to sit down and sliding his hands down your arms once you were seated, moving his chair round the table to sit closer to you so he could place a slow smooch against your neck. You hummed happily as he fed you a mouthful of his dish, “I knew you’d like it!” You smiled at him, “I like most things you suggest…” He bit his lip as his eyes darkened slightly, “Is that so?” You nodded, eyelashes fluttering as your lids close, “What if I suggested something a little… more intimate?” You giggled, picking up your wine glass to take a sip and hide your face, too shy to keep the eye contact, “I wouldn’t mi-” Your phone blaring cut you off and you gasped, rushing to put your glass down as other customers in the restaurant glared at you, Charles chuckling quietly next to you, his hand resting on your thigh and rubbing soothingly. 

“Ollie I swear to go-” “He’s dead.” You heard your little brother sniffle and adrenaline kicked in, “Ollie, who’s dead?” You kept your voice as calm and quiet as possible, you heard him sniffle once more before a sob left his mouth. That was all you needed to hear before you were grabbing your clutch and nodding towards the door. Charles tilted his head and you mouthed your brother’s name. He nodded understandingly and rushed to pay the bill before you were both scurrying back to his car. As soon as you were buckled in you put your phone on speaker, “Ollie… Honey… what happened?” Charles also looked panicked as he heard Ollie’s choked sob, “He was fine and then he just… wasn’t.” “Who Ollie, who’s not fine?” You pleaded, “Ge-” You cursed as the call cut out, “It’s okay ma belle, his phone probably just died, we’re almost there okay?” You nodded, hands nervously twisting and wringing together in your lap. Charles eyes darted to your hands for a second before looking back at the road, one hand leaving the steering wheel to gently hold your hand in his. You looked at him and squeezed, a wordless thank you. 

As soon as Charles pulled up, you were racing out of the car, slipping your heels off and carrying them in your hand as you sprinted barefoot up the stairs of the apartment building. You reached the door and rang the bell, knocked, called his name, anything you could think of to attract his attention. The door opened slowly and it wasn’t Ollie that appeared but Arthuer Leclerc, looking ever so sombre, “Arthur?” Your eyes were panicked as you looked him over for any injuries or obvious isses. He simply held his hand out to indicate to you to enter and you slowly stepped through the door, “Where’s Ollie?” Arthur nodded, head down towards the ground and the panic rose in your chest again, “He’s in the living room, saying his goodbyes.” “Goodbyes to who?” You paced down the hallway and burst into the living room, your jaw dropping at the sight you saw.

Ollie stood in front of the coffee table that was lit with candles, dressed in a suit and your brain suddenly registered that Arthur had been dressed the same way. You were even more concerned when you saw Arthur’s girlfriend fully dressed in black,  standing next to Ollie with a comforting hand on his shoulder. You approached him slowly, arms opening and your expression softening as he turned to you with a red splotchy nose and red-rimmed eyes, he fell into your arms and you patted his back, gently shushing him, “What happened, Ols?” “He’s gone.” Ollie croaked out, “Who’s gone honey?” Your voice was gentle as you stroked his hair, the same way you did when he was younger and couldn’t sleep, “Gerald.” “Oh.” You said softly, “Was he a friend?” Ollie nodded and you held back a wince as he rubbed his snotty nose onto your shoulder, knowing he needed you, “He was such a good friend.” You led him over to the couch and sat down, his head falling onto your shoulder as you continued to play with his hair. 

You were aware of Charles appearing in the doorway and you gave him a brief smile, before turning your attention back to Ollie, “Would I know this friend?” Ollie nodded, his sobs quieting to sniffles, “You were his friend before I was.” Your stomach dropped as you frantically thought of who Ollie could possibly be referring to, feeling guilty that your mind was blank, “The funeral was lovely.” Arthur’s girlfriend nodded solemnly, a hand over her heart as the other hand came up to dab her eyes with a tissue, “The funeral has already happened?” You were confused as Arthur nodded, “Just before you got here.” Your eyes shot to Charles who was just as concerned and confused as you, “Wait, the funeral was here?” Ollie scoffed, “Well where else would it have been?” “Wait Ollie,” You held his face in front of yours, “Why was the funeral in your apartment?” “He wanted to be remembered in the place he was most happy…” Ollie sighed wistfully, his head turning to look at the coffee table once more. 

You squinted, focusing on a shape amidst the flickering candles and once more your mouth gaped as you stood up and stormed over to the other side of the room. “Ollie. Bearman.” You gritted your teeth, “Don’t tell me that this was all about a fucking cactus?” “Succulent!” Ollie snapped at you, wiping away a tear from under his eye, “He was a succulent,” He whispered as he looked down at the floor. Charles broke first, snorting in the doorway and you watched as he did his best to choke down his laughter, coughing and shaking his head, you watched as he excused himself from the room for a moment to force a solemn expression back onto his face. He returned but you could see the laughter threatening to bubble over as he took in the sight before him. Ollie, his younger brother and his younger brother’s girlfriend all dressed in black and in mourning for a succulent that sat sadly on the coffee table and looked like it had been watered a little too much.

“I’m glad you got here,” Arthur spoke up suddenly, “Oh goodie, do tell me why.” Your tone was sarcastic. “We’re about to do the funeral exit.” Charles was holding in his laughter so much that he now had tears streaming down his face and Arthur patted his back with a ‘there, there’ and handed him a tissue. “Arthur’s girlfriend has agreed to sing the exit song and we’re so thankful she has.” “Who is we Ollie?” You brow furrowed as you looked around the living room,  “I-I…” You sighed. “Go ahead.” You all stood still, heads to the floor as Arthur’s girlfriend launched into a rendition of ‘Memory’ from Cats, “Miiiiiiidniiiiiight, not a sound from the paaaaavemeeeent.” Charles quietly crossed the room to stand next to you, nudging you gently with his shoulder, “Interesting date night hmm?” You growled, “Don’t you dare encourage him.” Ollie approached you,  “Do you want to say your final goodbyes?” “Ollie, why would I care about a succulent?” He gasped, “It’s Gerald!” “Yes Ollie so you said, but why would I care that it’s name is Gerald?” Ollie shook his head, “Don’t even recognise your own friend…” Arthur tutted and even his girlfriend gave you a disapproving look as she continued wailing in the background, you mentally made a note to apologise to the neighbours the next time you were here during normal sociable hours. 

You rolled your eyes at your younger brother and stepped forward to ‘pay your respects’ to the succulent. Your eyes narrowed, “Oliver. James. Bearman. That’s MY fucking succulent!” “It was nice of you to wear black.” He continued, nodding towards your dress and Charles blazer and pants, ignoring your exclamation. “We were on a date!” You screeched, Charles once again powerless to help in any way, instead just collapsing with laughter. You growled as you lunged for your brother, “Ollie, I swear there will be a funeral tonight.” You hissed, “Yours!”

♯ incident 4 - spiderman ⊹.∿ After everyone had said their goodbyes to Gerald, he had been unceremoniously dumped into the rubbish bin and that had been the end of it. Ollie had promised to buy you a new succulent and had learned that they did not, in fact, require watering every day, and you now forever had ‘Memory’ stuck in your head. Once more, peace had been restored but you doubted it would last much longer. 

Your theory was proved correct when a few days later, your phone rang. An unknown number. You ignored it at first, all too aware of strange reporters and crazy fans who would do anything to get closer to Charles. You simply went back to reading your book, until your phone rang again. It was an unknown number still and you grumbled, rolling your eyes and answering quite snappily, “Yes? Hello?” The voice on the other end of the line seemed almost taken aback, “Umm excuse me is this Y/N Bearman?” You sighed, “Yes it is, no I won’t give you a quote and yes Charles is great in bed, goodbye!-” “No wait please! I’m from downstairs! You live in 10B yes?” You stopped as your finger hovered over the end call button and brought the phone back up to your ear, “Uhhhh I used to, yes, can I ask why?” “Oh, well there’s a man trying to climb onto your balcony and I was concerned that’s all.” Your stomach flipped, your mind rushing to thoughts of someone breaking in when your little brother was home alone, “I’ll come over now! My younger brother still lives there.” You raced to grab your keys and jumped into your car, deciding to get there as soon as possible rather than walk. Who was stupid enough to break in in broad daylight? You briefly considered calling the police but you were sure the idiot would be gone by the time you got there. Your car pulled up and you craned your neck to look up at the balcony of your old apartment. Your eyes widened and you gasped as you spotted that there was indeed a man hanging off of your balcony, “Holy shit,” You mumbled, scrabbling to open the door and race towards the apartment complex. The closer you got you squinted as you realised the hoodie looked ever so familiar. “Ollie?!” You yelled up and shrieked as your brother looked down at you, giggling nervously as his feet kicked back and forth as he desperately searched for a footing, “What the fuck are you doing?” “Uhhh I can explain!” He yelled back to you, “H-hold on, I’m on my way up!” You hurried up the stairs, once more cursing the lack of elevator as you finally reached your floor, unlocking the door and rushing through the apartment to french doors out onto the balcony. 

“What the fuck were you thinking?” You screeched, leaning over the balcony and diving to grab him and pull him up, “Ollie that’s so fucking dangerous!” “Look!” You heard a kid shout from the street below, “It’s Spiderman!” You scoffed and rolled your eyes, "He wishes!" You paused for a moment to yell back, before resuming hauling your brother over the apartment balcony. “How did you even get up here? Why are you up here?” Ollie chuckled, panting slightly as he finally threw one leg over the ledge, “Funny story actually…” You raised an eyebrow, “Well please share,” “I forgot my key…” “I-” In your shock you almost let go of him and his scream attracted the attention of yet more passers by below, laughing and pointing at the odd sight they were witnessing. You smiled down awkwardly before turning back to Ollie once more, “Why didn’t you call me?” Ollie whined as you began to tell him off, “Because I didn’t want you to find out…” “Oh so this was a better idea- Ah!” You squeaked as Ollie tumbled over the ledge and onto the balcony. Landing on your stomach in a tangle of limbs, “Your foot is up my butt!” “Yeah well it wouldn’t be if you hadn’t been being stupid! Anyway, get your elbow out of my eye!” “Oh I’m sorry, I was making sure I wasn’t about to fall to my death!” You shoved Ollie off of you and led there on your back, panting, Ollie much the same,

“For the record, you are the shittiest spiderman there is.” “Thanks, that’s really boosting my confidence.” “Glad I could help.” 

♯ the resolution ⊹.∿ “We need more protection.” You announced loudly, stepping into the kitchen “Excuse me?!” Charles choked on his protein shake, cheeks turning pink and you heard Max snort on the phone, “God, no! You pervs… I meant like, we need protection from Ollie and his dumbass incidents.” Max cackled, “Charles has sent me the videos, I was dying at the dishwasher incident.” You groaned, crossing the room to stand next to Charles who sat at the breakfast bar. He grinned as you rolled your eyes at Max who you could now see was on facetime.  “Yeah, well I’m turning grey way sooner than I should!” You joked. You chatted with Max a little longer before Charles signed off with the promise of joining him to game later. 

You sighed, leaning against Charles’ side,  “What’s wrong ma belle?” You took another breath and paused, “I’m just… worried about Ollie…” Charles put his arm around you and rubbed your back soothingly, “What has you so worried mon amour?” His expression was warm and you knew he wasn’t angry with you, rather genuinely curious, “I just feel like… maybe he isn’t ready to live on his own yet?” Charles nodded at you and you took that as a signal to continue, “I mean, he’s always had me there to help him and I know someday he’s gonna have to get used to me not being there but I just feel like right now…” You trailed off with a sigh, “He still needs you.” Charles finished and you gave him a grateful smile and nodded. “But, I don’t wanna leave you. I love living with you and having you around and I love just... living life with you. Am I selfish for not wanting to give that up?” You bit your lip, moving away from Charles to pace the kitchen floor. Charles shook his head with a fond smile, 

“Ma belle… You’re not selfish for wanting to do something for yourself and I’m proud of you for wanting to pursue that, especially since it’s me you want,” he slid his arms around you as you stepped next to him and dragged you backwards to him, making you giggle, “but I also know that you want to be there for family and I can understand that, you guys are close, the same way that me and Thur are, probably even closer.” You hummed, leaning back against him, “Thank you for being so understanding.” You sighed, “Now I just need to work out how to fix it…” Charles smiled and turned you round in his arms, nudging your nose with his, “Well… we have a spare room?” 

Which is how you found yourself hauling boxes upstairs a week later, “Jesus Ollie, what the hell is in here?” You wheezed out and Ollie simply smiled at you, patting you on the head as he walked past you, arms empty, “You’re so dramatic Y/N, it’s literally just a few bits.” You poked your tongue out at him as he mimicked your words from just a couple of months ago. “Is that it mate?” Charles head appeared from behind the apartment door and Ollie nodded, as you finally conquered the stairs and planted the box down on the hallway floor. “Now let’s go over the rules one more time Ols.” He sighed, “Fine…” “Rule one?” You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow, “No dish soap in the dishwasher…” He grumbled, Charles chuckled, “Rule two?” “No cooking without supervision.” Ollie recited as you nodded, “Don’t worry, that rule applies to Charles too.” “Huh?!” “Shush baby, rule three?” You turned back to Ollie, “No watering the succulents unless instructed, no matter how sorry I feel for them.” You nodded, “I am not having a repeat of Gerald and the… funeral.” You shuddered, as Charles snorted before asking, “Rule four?” “Always call one of you two if I forget my keys…” “And?” You raised an eyebrow, “No climbing balconies under any circumstances.”  You clapped your hands together and smiled, “Good! Well I can’t think of anything else, can you?”

You turned to Charles who shook his head and Ollie who just shrugged, “In that case, let’s go! Pizza for dinner sound good?” The three of you walked into the apartment and the door to the hallway swung shut, your arguments about pizza toppings muffled through the door, but the happiness and love you felt for each other not dulled in the slightest.

[thebadguys2news]

Aaron Blabey talks closing on The Bad Guys books after a decade-long run.

Creator & author of the best-selling books, Aaron Blabey, explains on bringing a close to The Bad Guys series. He shall now focus on doing movies, which include the upcoming sequel from DreamWorks.

Q: The Bad Guys in One Last Thing. Love the book, first of all, and this is kind of your goodbye to these characters after ten years. Tell me how do you feel about that.

A:"I feel great about it. Obviously there's an element of sadness to it being all done. I wrote the books for my kids when they were little, and they're now 16 and 18. So the journey of the books—it was always intended that there was never going to be more than 20. I planned out the story to loop around at the 20th episode and just circle back to the top. What it ended up being is like a perfect little package with my kid's childhoods. And now they're almost grown up, and because of the movies too, it just feels like the characters have got their own life." -author Aaron Blabey.

Q: What are the kids in your life—what have you heard from them over the ten years of seeing these characters going through all of the fun & shenanigans they get up to?

A:"Well, it was written because my youngest, at 6, he was bringing home books from school that he found so boring that it would literally make him cry, which is why I wanted to write the story. I wanted to write something cool that he would just think: 'This is really cool, I want to read this!' And they both, during their childhoods, had all kinds of thoughts. When the first movie came out a couple of years ago, they were both at the premiere in L.A., and it just blew their minds. But they've also grown up with it, so they have a lot more to say about it than you might expect." -Aaron Blabey.

Q: I'm very proud of you, Aaron, your fans can see the love and the care you put into this series over the last decade. So now are you taking a break? Are you just going immediately to the next books? What's coming next?

A: "I have one book left in my other series, Cat On The Run, which is out next year, and that's it. I'm retired from books, I'm finished. I'm doing other things; the movies—because I finished the book a year ago, it's taken this long for them to come out. I've been just making music and doing all kinds of other things, it's time to do other stuff. And it's lovely, there's something really lovely. It feels like I've had different sorts of acts in my life, and this feels very much like the end of an act, which encapsulated the books but also my kids growing up." -Aaron Blabey

Q: Any advice for anyone who's figuring out on maybe opening an act or the curtains coming down on an act, what would you tell them?

A:"I don't know. All I've ever done is follow threads, just things that I couldn't get out of my head, and they can lead to extended periods of hardships, there's no two ways about it, you know? But if you just, if there's something you just can't let go of as an idea then—and the people who are like that, the only thing to do is if you feel strongly enough about it, you just have to follow it and just see where it leads. And you just got to beat the system, more work like—I was making books for eight years without any of them selling or having any commercial success of any kind. And I had little kids and had to do other jobs and just didn't look like it was going to work out. And then the number of times I've nearly given up I can't even count. But something wouldn't let me stop. And when it did explode, it was actually Pig the Pug that went first and then The Bad Guys second. It was just life altering, and there's something really lovely about having dedicated, all my life really, but certainly the last 15 years to just following something that—I don't know. I feel like I've been looking for The Bad Guys my whole life, in a strange way. There was something that I wanted to express, and just spent 20 years really, I couldn't quite find it, I couldn't. And I looked in all directions and then when The Bad Guys happened, it just all made sense. All my movie obsessions, all the things that I love, just spilled out into it." -Aaron Blabey

Interview with NewsChannel9.com

[yumemiru12]

Liella - Billboard Japan INTERVIEW

[This interview was published online on the Billboard Japan website, released Dec 16, 2024.]

Interview: After TV Anime Season 3, All 11 Members Finally Unite—Liella! from ‘Love Live! Superstar!!’ Embark on Their 6th Live Tour with a Variety of Theme and Insert Songs

The Love Live! series, with the keyword “A story we all make come true,” unfolds across all forms of media. The fourth installment in the series, Love Live! Superstar!!, portrays the story of the school idol group Liella!, who are based at the private Yuigaoka Girls’ High School. The third season of the TV anime began airing on NHK E-Television in October. Alongside this, singles featuring theme songs and insert songs have been released one after another.

Released on October 23, Let’s be ONE and DAISUKI FULL POWER are singles featuring the opening and ending theme songs of Season 3, respectively. Each single also includes contrasting coupling tracks: the funky and wild guitar with high-speed beats of 青春HOPPERS (Seishun HOPPERS; Youth HOPPERS), and the dreamy, floating sensation of the mid-tempo ballad Within a Dream, as its name suggests.

Additionally, on November 13, Bubble Rise / Special Color was released, featuring the insert songs from Episodes 2 and 3. On December 11, Zettaiteki LOVER / Dazzling Game will be released, featuring the insert songs from Episodes 6 and 8. Reflecting on the story of Love Live! Superstar!! Season 3, the members discussed these songs: Date Sayuri (1st-gen, Shibuya Kanon), Aoyama Nagisa (1st-gen, Hazuki Ren), Yabushima Akane (2nd-gen, Yoneme Mei), Ookuma Wakana (2nd-gen, Wakana Shiki), and Sakakura Sakura (3rd-gen, Onitsuka Tomari).

About Liella! in Season 3 of the TV Anime

—The third season of the TV anime Love Live! Superstar!! surprised viewers right from the beginning. Shibuya Kanon’s overseas study plans were canceled, and rather than rejoining Liella!, she began activities as part of a new school idol club with first-year students Wien Margarete and Onitsuka Tomari. Date: The development was something I hadn’t imagined at all, so I thought, “Ah, so that’s where they’re taking it.” For Kanon, Liella! is something very important, and the members are people who changed her life. So when she decided to leave that behind, at first I couldn’t quite understand why. I found myself thinking, “Why would she do that?” But as the story progressed, I thought, “Ah, I see.” It made me happy to discover that Kanon is someone who acts while thinking far ahead into the future. I got to see a new side of her.

—As someone who plays Ren Hazuki, also an original member, how did you feel about this development? Aoyama: Ren was initially opposed to school idols in the first season. But this time, just as Kanon had spoken to her back then, Ren is now the one advising Margarete, saying, "You're also a student of Yuigaoka." Seeing her grow more and more through the story made me very happy as well.

—That scene conveyed her current role within the group. Aoyama: That’s right. Ren is also active as the student council president, but ever since meeting Liella!, her heart has gradually softened. After opening up to everyone, she started smiling more and more. I feel like she might be the member whose impression has changed the most.

—Yoneme Mei and Wakana Shiki, who have gone from first-years to second-years, also show further growth in Season 3. Yabushima: The four second-generation members started out as first-years, and at the beginning, I had the strong impression that they were each struggling with themselves. They often couldn’t be honest with their feelings, got discouraged, or became negative. However, in Season 3, now as second-years, they’ve developed a sense of responsibility as seniors. They’ve started thinking about how they can contribute to Liella! and what they can do to make Liella! even better. Some of them have even begun to take action based on those thoughts.

I really felt their growth, and I think this development overlaps with the cast members’ experiences as well.

—Being the middle generation, they are both in the position of following their seniors and showing the way to their juniors. Yabushima: That’s right. It’s because our seniors keep running forward that we look at their backs and feel inspired to push ourselves to do the same. Ookuma: As for Shiki and Mei, they’ve always had a dynamic like that of a duo, but that doesn’t mean they only act together. We’ve also discussed the relationships among the four second-generation members, as well as how they should interact with both their seniors and juniors.

—In Episode 3 of Season 3, “White-colored Center,” Shiki takes on the role of Liella!’s center for the first time. Ookuma: Shiki wasn’t originally someone who joined Liella! because she wanted to be a school idol, so it was difficult for me to fully grasp her character at first. But by Season 3, through her interactions with Mei and other moments, I began to understand her personality and what drives her. What made me especially happy in Episode 3 was that she herself realized those things. I think that kind of self-discovery is really important in high school, and I believe it will connect to Shiki’s future growth from here on out.

—Shiki's center song, "Special Color," features lyrics written by Mei within the story. Yabushima: I really felt that the lyrics were something only Mei could write. Of course, Mei is the closest to Shiki among the members, but I think the song reflects more than just their relationship. It also captures the changes in Shiki’s feelings and the sides of her personality that she was able to show because she met Liella!. I believe it’s because of Liella!'s existence that their bond deepened even further. Their world expanded, and I feel like they’re moving in an even better direction because of it.

Aoyama: At first, I avoid looking at the song title or lyrics and just listen to the instrumental track. I enjoy imagining, “What kind of story will this song accompany?” When I heard Special Color, I thought it had such a transparent and pure quality to it, so when I found out it was Shiki’s center song, I felt it was absolutely perfect for her. Yabushima: The lyric “I’m the strongest—I’m telling myself that right now” being sung by Shiki alone really hits hard. It feels deeply impactful, and I thought Mei was really bold to write those words for Shiki. It’s hard to explain, but I feel like these are not the kind of lyrics you can casually decide to write for someone else to sing. That’s how strongly Mei must have felt when writing them. It’s such a powerful and meaningful line—I really love it.

3rd-gen member Sakakura Sakura is 'strong-hearted'

—Along with "Special Color," the insert song single also features "Bubble Rise," which was performed in Episode 2. This song is by "Tomakanote," the group formed by Kanon, Margarete, and Tomari. For Tomari, it marked her debut performance on stage. Sakakura: I was truly moved. The first time I saw it, I was so overwhelmed with tears that my vision was completely blurred—I could barely see it properly...

—What was your first impression of the song? Sakakura: From the time we recorded it, I felt it wasn’t a typical school idol song, in a good way. It’s a very mysterious and beautiful piece, which made perfect sense knowing that Margarete wrote the lyrics. I also predicted that Tomakanote wouldn’t lean entirely toward the “cute” style, so I thought the song fit the three of them perfectly. I was so excited wondering how they would move and perform while singing, and it went far beyond my expectations. Especially for Tomari—I kept thinking about what kind of expressions and emotions she would show while singing. From the time of her debut up until now, I have been eagerly looking forward to this moment. Because it was something I had been wishing for, I think my strongest feeling was simply pure happiness.

—When you saw the performance scenes (from the anime), was there anything that surprised or stood out to you? Sakakura: In the line “Soredemo kienai Wishing” (Even so, the wish remains), there’s a close-up of Tomari during the “Wishing” part, and I thought, “So that’s the kind of expression she makes.” I had imagined that she would perform with a cool and beautiful look, but she went beyond my expectations—it was really surprising. At this point in the story, Tomari doesn’t have much passion for being a school idol yet. She’s participating in school idol activities to evaluate whether her older sister (her biological sister, Onitsuka Natsumi) is justified in putting so much effort into it and whether being a school idol is suitable for her sister. Even so, seeing Tomari express so much in her performance made me think: once she truly understands the appeal of being a school idol and stands on stage with that realization, what kind of amazing things might happen? I’m really excited for what’s to come.

—Were you conscious of those subtle nuances during the recording? Sakakura: Yes, definitely. The song itself isn’t the kind of piece you sing passionately, and since Tomari isn’t someone who naturally puts a lot of emotion into her actions, I wanted to create a performance that felt more composed and relaxed, rather than overly intense. However, since I’m still relatively new to recording, I worked really hard to bring out that sense of composure. It was a challenge in that way as well.

—Date-san, how did you feel about singing this song? Date: Since Margarete has always sung alone, and this was Tomari’s first performance as a school idol, I was worried that if Kanon would sing with her usual Liella! energy and the sparkling idol vibe, there might be a noticeable contrast in tone. But Kanon is a third-year now, so I felt she could convey a sense of composure. With that in mind, I tried singing it in a way that felt a little different from usual, aiming to bridge the gap.

—In June 2023, Sakakura Sakura, who plays Tomari, and Yuina, who plays Margarete, joined Liella!, starting the new 11-member lineup. Could you tell us more about Sakakura-san? How do the rest of you see her? Date: She’s an amazing person.

—What do you mean by that? (laughs) Date: Both Saku-chan (Sakakura) and I joined through open auditions, so in that sense, our journeys are a bit similar. But looking at her, I feel like I was taking things too easy by comparison (laughs).

Sakakura: That’s not true!

—Is she very stoic? Date: Yes, I’d say so, especially in terms of her mental strength.

Yabushima: It’s a bit hard to put into words, but she has this unwavering core—a strong inner strength she always carries. Wakana (Ookuma) might know this, but at the start, I was crying all the time. During the early days of practice, I was almost always discouraged and felt down. Even now, seeing Saku-chan makes me think, “I need to work harder.”

Sakakura Hana (Onitsuka Tomari): What!?

Yabushima Akane (Yoneme Mei): She’s incredibly inspiring, and there’s so much I’ve learned from her. I think she’s truly a strong person. Of course, she must have faced a lot of struggles and hardships, but she’s overcome them, and now she’s standing on stage as Tomari. Watching her, I can only see her as Tomari now.

Ookuma Wakana (Wakana Shiki): That’s why I think she was chosen. There’s a clear reason for it. With this many members, you’d expect some overlap in character traits or roles. But when Sakura-chan joined, it felt like she had something unique—qualities and talents that none of the others had.

Sakakura Hana (Onitsuka Tomari): That makes me so happy.

Aoyama: If I had to describe Saku-chan in one word, I think "strong-hearted" (強心臓) would suit her perfectly. The moment she steps on stage, she must feel nervous, but she never shows it on her face. I think that’s why the rest of us can carry on as usual without feeling unsettled. She’s always loved the Love Live! series and came into this as someone who had been cheering for it from the outside. If it were me, I don’t think I could remain as calm as she is. She’s openly expressed her admiration for Liella! many times, and I could really feel her strong desire to connect with us as a teammate. That’s one of the moments where I thought, “This girl is amazing.”

—As you’ve been active as part of Liella!, was there a moment when you really felt a sense of unity within the group or a bond with the other members? Sakakura: Recently, I felt it strongly during the Asia tour. Everyone was working so hard, pushing themselves beyond their limits on such a tough schedule. That experience really deepened our bonds. I think it’s because we had that time together that we’re now able to fully embrace Season 3 of the TV anime as a united Liella! team and enjoy watching it together as one.

About Liella! in Season 3 of the TV Anime

—On October 28, the [Season 3 OP & ED Theme Song Release Event] was held at Omiya Sonic City. It featured the first live performances of the Season 3 opening theme, "Let's be ONE," and the ending theme, "DAISUKI FULL POWER." Aoyama: We all talked about wanting to show the absolute best we could at this moment. Even during rehearsals, we practiced through our breaks, striving for the very top until the last possible moment. Additionally, this time, we tried something new by doing a live broadcast on YouTube. The archive is still available, so I hope it becomes an opportunity for more people to watch the anime. It’s also a chance for those unfamiliar with Liella! to get to know what kind of performances we do. With that in mind, we put a lot of effort into this event.

Yabushima: We also performed the two coupling tracks (青春HOPPERS then Within a Dream) back-to-back, and since their styles are completely opposite, switching our emotions and expressions was challenging. The reason I was first drawn to Love Live! series was the synchronization between the cast’s performances and the anime visuals. I’d love for people to focus on that aspect as well. Of course, there was also a talk segment, and I hoped that anyone watching the live broadcast might find something that sparked their interest. I think we gave everything we could in all parts of the event, showing the best of what we’re capable of right now.

—On December 11, a new insert song single, Zettaiteki LOVER / Dazzling Game, was released. Zettaiteki LOVER is the first song performed by all 11 members together in the series, right? Yabushima: I felt like there were a lot of straightforward expressions of emotion, like “Daisuki sa” (I love you) and “Aishiteru!” (I love you deeply). That stood out to me. I don’t think we’ve had many songs like this before. It felt like they really wanted to convey those emotions with that much strength and sincerity.

—That’s true. Since the story was set in Shanghai, perhaps that influenced the song as well. Sakakura: The inclusion of Chinese lyrics felt really fresh, and I thought it was a song perfectly suited for Keke being the center. I also felt it was wonderful that she could perform such a song in her hometown.

Ookuma: It felt like the song was designed to fully showcase Keke’s voice to its fullest potential. I also think it suited her voice quality very well. Additionally, the way the song layers voices so much was quite unique, and it made for a very pleasant listening experience.

—On the other hand, "Dazzling Game" is the insert song from Episode 8. It’s a song collaboratively created by Liella! and Tomakanote for their decisive showdown at the school festival live. Sakakura: I thought it seemed like a song that would really excite audiences at a live performance. I imagine it would also elevate our own feelings as performers. I can’t wait to see the Liella! members perform this song.

Aoyama: Liella! usually has a lot of uplifting and positive songs that encourage someone to move forward, but Dazzling Game is different. It’s a song where each member sings about their own determination and their desire to grow and become more. The choice of words is stronger, and the way it’s sung reflects that strength—it feels like we’re emphasizing the consonants more.

Date: At first, I thought it was a song about rivals clashing, but that’s not the case. If you read the lyrics carefully, you realize it’s actually a song about becoming one group. The melody is a bit more intense, and it has a vibe that feels slightly different from the usual Liella! songs. That sense of excitement about something new is really wonderful and makes me look forward to what’s ahead.

Sakakura: In the anime, Liella! and Tomakanote dance facing each other, and I think that’s pretty rare for Love Live! series. This is a song and formation that could only come about because Season 3 focuses on two groups raising each other’s levels. It felt really fresh.

—It’s truly a song that makes us look forward to the live performances. The 6th LoveLive! Tour is set to begin in March 2025. Finally, could you share your thoughts and enthusiasm for it Date: I think the 6th live tour will be a culmination of everyone’s emotions exploding on stage. It’s been such a long time since we’ve performed live with the TV anime behind us. When I used to attend Love Live! series concerts as a fan, I loved remembering scenes from the anime while watching the performances. This time, I think the emotions I’ll feel will be different from any past live show. Since I don’t yet know what those emotions will be, I feel like I need to work hard to express them properly.

Aoyama: This live will follow the anime’s depiction of the 11 members finally becoming one, so I feel like it’s a new stage of beginnings for Liella! in a way. I’m excited for the moment we can proudly declare, “These 11 members are Liella!”

Also, with Season 3, the topic of third-year graduation has come up several times, so I think this tour will bring out even more emotions than before. It makes me realize once again that “This isn’t something that will last forever.” We, too, don’t know how many more live performances we’ll get to do, so I want to give it my all and finish with no regrets.

Yabushima: In the one year depicted in Season 3, the first-year, second-year, and third-year have all grown individually, and there have been significant emotional changes too. I want to take the feelings of all 11 members and express them properly on stage—whether through our expressions, our voices, or our songs.

Sakakura: For us third-generation members, this will be our first live tour where we carry the TV anime’s story and live performances as Liella!. I think it will be an incredibly special experience for us.

As for me, Sakakura Sakura, I’ve been able to build great friendships with all the members, and now I can confidently say, “I am a part of Liella!” But for the fans, I think they didn’t know what kind of performances Tomari would deliver until now. That’s why I’m so grateful to those who have supported us even before Season 3 began airing. I want this live tour to be one where I can convey my heartfelt thanks—"Thank you so much for supporting us until now, and please continue to cheer us on in the future."

Ookuma: I wasn’t someone who had been following the Love Live! series for a long time, but during rehearsals for the 3rd live tour, I watched the synchronized performances of the TV anime characters and the cast. It left me deeply moved, and I realized, “So this is what it’s all about.” I came to understand the feelings and reasons behind why so many people love the Love Live! series.

This live tour will be one where we carry the weight of the TV anime, so I want to deliver even more of that emotion to everyone. I hope it becomes a tour where people can think, “The Love Live! series really is amazing,” and reaffirm their love for it.

[honeysuckleharringtons]

Part One: "Double Shot" ~ S. Harrington

Summary: (Then) In the small town of Hawkins, Indiana lies the Byers family, a family of four who might just be gaining a fifth member of the family. — (Now) Brew and Me, known for its punny motto and delicious coffee, might soon be known for bringing people together in unexpected ways.

Pairing: Nurse!Steve Harrington x Fem!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 1,808

Content Warning: teen pregnancy, small mention of abortion, vomit/morning sickness talk, mild swearing, mentions of food, mentions of medical-related things (not detailed, just mentioned), lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: thank you to @dungeons-are-too-cold and @heartshapedhargrove for constantly listening to me talk about this series, i love y'all sm

Originally Written: 10/16/2023

honeysuckleharringtons' masterlist can be found here!

'brew and me' series masterlist can be found here!

[ Then, June of 1987 ]

Hawkins was a quaint little town, just about an hour and a half outside of Indianapolis. Hop on the interstate and drive northwest for a while, and soon enough, you'd be met with luscious sugar maples and winding back roads into a small town filled with big families. That's where you'd find the Byers', a family of four who lived near the outskirts. But for the four of them, things were about to change in a very big way.

"It's okay," you whispered to yourself, a gentle reminder that, quite frankly, you were having a hard time believing. "It's just a little pregnancy test. It can't hurt you."

The test itself might not have been capable of inflicting pain on you, but whatever results it bore to you a half hour later might. The visionary knife in your gut twisted at the thought of the test lighting up with a positive. You willed yourself not to think of it, afraid of somehow speaking it into existence despite the words not leaving your mouth.

A knock rapped against the bathroom door, startling you from your current train of thought. "Honey," Joyce called on the other side, "dinner's almost finished."

"Yeah, Mom," you managed to stutter out, attempting to mask the anxiety coursing through you. "I'm just gonna shower and then I'll be out."

You felt slightly bad that you'd be wasting all the available hot water for the next half hour, but you couldn't risk someone coming in and finding the test. The distraction a shower would bring you would be an added bonus.

As soon as your mother’s footsteps receded down the hardwood hallway, you got to work. After looking over the instructions at least five times and then managing to open the wrapper with trembling fingers, you finished the test. A couple nervous breaths exited your lips as you placed the stick on the counter, then promptly hopped in the shower. Attempting to wash away all the messiness of the day—but not the messiness of your thoughts—you let the water cascade down your body, the warmth of it lacking its usual sense of comfort.

As your fingers combed shampoo through your hair, thoughts ran rampant through your mind. Y/N Byers, a mother. Even if the title made you a bit hesitant, at least it would finally give your boyfriend a reason to grow the hell up, right? You loved him, truly, but that boy certainly needed a reality check.

You forced yourself to look at the upside of things. For one, you'd had plenty of training. Between your younger brother and babysitting throughout your teen years, you definitely knew enough to at least get by. Your current gig as a day-camp counselor at The Peony, the local country club, was just the cherry on top. For two… were there any more positives of this?

While you wanted to see a good side to the situation, you couldn't help but consider the possibilities of getting kicked out of the house, being forced to break up with your boyfriend, and the decision of even keeping the baby or not. Your stomach twisted at the thought of being homeless and your baby being fatherless. A wave of nausea hit you so hard you were nearly puking in the shower, a pain so horrid that morning sickness could surely never compare.

You rushed out of the shower, not even bothering to grab a towel before emptying what little was left in your stomach into the toilet. Your eyes glared up at the test on the counter as you wiped off your chin with a piece of toilet paper. It was almost funny, you thought, that a tiny white stick could be holding the answer to your future.

Forcing yourself up from the cold tiles under your knees, you managed to reach the shower and finish the rest of your nightly routine. Your hands shook as you gripped the nob, wondering if this would be the last shower you took before your final step into womanhood.

You had to remind yourself how to breathe as you reached for the test, giving yourself one last look in the mirror. Your skin was some shade of pale green, nausea coursing through you as naturally as the blood in your veins. Here goes nothing.

Blue. The test lit up the brightest shade of blue. It might as well have been screaming, "You're pregnant, dumbass!"

The test fell from your hands and into the sink, the device practically staring at you. Another wave of nausea hit you, forcing you to sit down on the cold and wet edge of the tub. As your exhausted hand ran through your hair, you sifted through the millions of thoughts fighting for your attention.

Another soft knock sounded against the door, one of your brothers reminding you that dinner was finished. Maybe you answered, "I'll be out in a minute," or maybe you didn't manage to say anything at all. You really weren't sure because all the blood in your body rushed straight to your ears to the point where you couldn't even hear yourself breathing anymore. Maybe you'd passed out and this was all a strange fever dream. You really, truly, didn't know.

In fact, in the midst of your internal battle, there was really only one thing you were positive about: you had no idea what the hell you were going to do.

[ Now, November of 1991 ]

"Welcome to Brew and Me, where our motto is- Oh, it's you." You sighed heavily as you registered who was standing on the other side of the counter.

Steve just stared at you with his eyebrow raised. "I'm not sure I'm familiar with your motto. Can you remind me again, miss?"

Your eyes nearly rolled out onto the counter. "The usual?" you asked reluctantly, hands on your hips as you all but challenged his request.

He pushed his wire-frame glasses up the bridge of his nose, a hand landing on his hip in rebuttal. You'd never seen another human being as joyful as Steve was when he got the opportunity to mock you. "That's not the motto," he reminded you in a sing-song tone.

All interest in fighting left your body, finally giving in to his wish. "It's always a brew-tiful day for coffee," you forced out.

His lips turned downward into the cutest pout, and your heart swooned at the sight. "You should really work on how you express-o yourself. That was just sad."

Steve knew his slip of the tongue would make your blood boil, and his pout quickly turned to a smirk as he watched annoyance wash over your face. "The word is espresso, and I'll have you know that I have been considered one of the happiest coworkers here so take that."

He snickered at your sad attempt at a fight. "I find that incredibly hard to believe," he countered. "To answer your previous question, yes, I'd like my usual. Double shot tonight."

A flash of sympathy appeared on your face. You knew all too well what he was in for. "Long night?"

"Exam in the morning, clinical tonight."

You gave him a sympathetic smile before turning to your coworker to bark out his order. "Hazelnut Americano with double shots for John Lennon!"

"Someday," he said, his eyes narrowing in on you as you struggled to hold in your laugh, "you're gonna realize that these glasses are one of my best features. And then, you will finally agree to that date with me."

You just shook your head, waving him off toward his favorite table in the house. A small smile crept its way to your lips, but you did your best to hide it. Your heart went aflutter at even the simplest of actions from him.

Steve Harrington could be described as the most attractive man alive, but just as easily be described as the most stubborn one in the same breath. Sure, he had beautiful, tousled brown hair and hazel eyes that you could get lost in if he'd allow it. Add in the way he looked in his uniform slate-gray scrubs and you were done for. But on the opposite hand, Steve also didn't know how to take no for an answer. Still, you found it quite endearing that three months in, he was still very interested in that date he brought up every time he came into your little coffee shop.

The devil on your shoulder practically begged you to say yes—yes to Steve, yes to the whole nine yards that came along with dating him, all of it. But the idea of actually saying it? Well, to be frank, it scared you more than anything in the whole world. Still, you couldn't help but wonder what it might be like if you ever did accept. His hair fixed up the right way, scrubs traded in for slacks and a nice sweater… your heart flipped at the thought.

That was when that devil sitting on your shoulder decided to do the most devious thing. You didn't really believe in 'out of body' experiences, but it was the only logical explanation to why your feet had carried you over to his table all on their own.

You'd never have the courage to say what was coming out of your mouth, but your little demon friend surely did. "Tell you what, doc?" you started, leaning down and narrowing your eyes at him. "When you successfully guess my favorite thing on the whole menu—without help from any of my coworkers, classmates, or professors—then we'll talk."

Steve just stared at you, mouth agape, for the remainder of the time it took one of your fellow baristas to whip up his coffee. Some mix of shock and fear of disappointment sat on his face for so long that you headed back to the counter, grabbing his coffee and a sympathy cookie from the display while you waited for him to come back to life. When he still didn't respond, you did the only thing left—say the motto and continue on with your work.

"Have a brew-tiful day, friend," you said, much more enthusiastically than earlier. You glanced down at your watch, noticing it was almost time for your break. You were tempted to sit at his table just to see how long it would take him to form another coherent sentence.

Finally, he spoke again, slowly coming out of his dazed state. "You…" he hesitated, possibly trying to think up an intelligible string of words from that dictionary he always carried with him for no apparent reason. "You said yes…"

"I did," you confirmed. "And I hate to rush off, but I have to take my break."

"You said yes," he repeated, pure shock coming over him. "Huh. I guess it really is a brew-tiful day."

AAAHHH, MY BABY IS OUT INTO THE WORLD 🥹

I don't think anyone understands how happy I am for you guys to finally get this series. Like, I have been shaking in my boots, waiting to post this for you guys and now you have it!!! 🥹

Thank you so very much to Georgia (tagged in the extra notes at the top) for listening to me talk about this series sm and for helping me brainstorm so many lil things for this series. I love you so very much, my bestie 💞

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed and I can't wait to see you guys back here for part three next weekend! 🫶🏻

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-died-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @aftermidnightwriting @manuosorioh @esoltis280

[shrinkthisviolet]

Alternatively an AU where Eowells 'raises' Barry alongside Morgan and they get to grow up as brother and sister (with the world's shittiest dad)

OOOH I LOVE THIS!

Making the case is easy enough for Eowells—Joe assisted in Henry’s prosecution, he shouldn’t get to adopt his son. And Eowells recently lost his wife and has his daughter, baby Morgan. He could use another child to fill the desolate quiet…and he’s more than happy to take in a child whose pain he might somewhat understand. (And ofc he’s a rich white man—that helps too)

Barry is ofc an angry kid at 11. Made angrier by the fact that he couldn’t even be adopted by someone he knows (Joe) but by Eowells. But…baby Morgan is adorable, and Barry finds himself at least coming to adore her, if not her father. Because yeah—Eowells is “Morgan’s father” to him. Barry won’t change his name, won’t call him Dad. But he’ll softly call himself Morgan’s brother, and hold her close like she’s the most important person in the world. Iris (he’s not allowed to interact with her outside of school, but ofc they find their ways) notices and teasingly remarks on it, saying he makes a wonderful big brother

Barry is parentified by the time…well, maybe by the time Morgan is 5. He was a little bit before, but this is when it really starts. He’s 15, old enough to stay at home by himself, so often he and Morgan have the house to themselves. He soothes her nightmares, sings her to sleep…when he turns 16, he’s the one taking her to and from school. It’s tough balancing this and his own life, he’s not cut out for all this by himself…and Tina notices. She asks after Eowells, but he makes excuses (because yeah, by this point, he considers Eowells his dad and even cares about him, even if that love is mixed with resentment for his late hours working). Still, Tina insists, and Barry reluctantly accepts, letting her shoulder some of Morgan’s childrearing. They become a sort of team…and Tina even helps him out from time to time

In this AU, Morgan is much more attached to Barry than to Eowells. She doesn’t think of him as her dad exactly, but…he’s not far off either, and in a lot of ways, he’s at least more parental to her than Eowells. The first time she got scared of thunderstorms, it was Barry who cuddled with her, sang her to sleep, and told her a funny story about thunder and lightning being “show-offs” that made her giggle. It’s Barry who comes to all her choir concerts and karate belt tests with (or without, on occasion—Tina’s still a busy woman) Tina, being the embarrassing big brother who says “that’s my sister!!” and insists on taking a million pictures and teases her just enough to make her roll her eyes but smile anyway (and she, ofc, gives as good as she gets)

It means that she’s also much less conflicted about Eowells. Sure, she loves him, but if it’s Barry’s life on the line? He’s always been there, Eowells hasn’t. It’s an easy choice to make. She’ll always choose her brother. She even changes her surname to his—although she’s now Tina’s legal child, she’s always been Barry’s baby sister before anything else.

Admittedly, parts of this AU overlap with what I have planned for the Childhood Friends AU (you’ll notice there are some chunks I didn’t address in these headcanons, and that’s because they’d be spoilers for some CF AU plot points 😅), which is…really the only reason I’d hesitate to write it. And yet…👀👀

Also, to anyone else reading this, @fezwearingjellybananas (the wonderful sender of this ask) did sorta write this premise in their amazing Speedster Siblings series (with the addition of Wally, and it’s Jesse rather than Morgan so she’s a speedster). I highly recommend it!

send me an au and i’ll share 5+ headcanons about it!

Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):

@arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @raith-way @vexic929 @ironverseocs @thechaoticfanartist @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @negative-speedforce @starstruckpurpledragon @angst-is-love-angst-is-life

[call-me-copycat]

Masterlist [1]

➤ Welcome

Info about me and what I write for along with the rules I have

♡ Fics:

Aizawa x Sick! Child Reader

▶ Platonic + Gender Neutral

▶ Pairing: Father!Aizawa & Child! Reader

▶ Summary: Child Reader gets sick and Aizawa overreacts

▶ Word Count: 1,713

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

Declaration of Distortion

▶ Platonic + Gender Neutral

▶ Pairing: Nothing direct, but reader just hangs around Aizawa and Shinso. Tokoyami is there for a split second as well.

▶ Summary: A courageous reader with striking white wings and a powerful quirk falls victim to a malicious mushroom spore quirk. Along with many others, they are ruthlessly mind controlled and forced to battle numerous heroes, and their own mentor Aizawa, a formidable hero in his own right.

▶ Word Count: 15,420

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

Sounds of Sorrow

▶ Platonic + Gender Neutral

▶ Father! Aizawa and Reader (Aizawa's kid, age unstated but around 16

▶ Summary: Time has never been on your side. You've always been counting down the minutes until your father might up and leave you, but Aizawa thinks otherwise. He just needs you to understand.

▶ Word Count: ~ 4229

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

Escaping The Night (Series - Ongoing)

[Part 1] ••• [Part 2] ••• [Part 3] ••• [Part 4]

[Part 5] ••• [Part 6] ••• [Part 7] °°° [Part 8] ••• [Part 9]

▶ Romantic (Shinso) + Fem Reader

▶ Father/Mentor Aizawa & Reader

▶ Summary: A Vigilante reader is caught and apprehended by Aizawa. Aizawa decides to take you in and see if he can help you live a fulfilling life. (Also a slowburn for Shinso)

▶ Word Count: I try to hit around 5k-ish words each chapter

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

In the Wake of Chaos (Coming Soon)

▶ Platonic + Fem Reader

▶ Father Aizawa and Daughter Reader

▶ Summary: A cruel villain kills your innocent friend, and the idea of revenge settles in your head. Later, after seeing the villain still alive, you attempt to get payback, only to be stopped by Aizawa's comfort and logic.

▶ Word Count:

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

Disconnected (Coming Soon)

▶ Platonic + Fem Reader

▶ All of class 1-A and other characters (focus will be on Shinso and Aizawa)

▶ Summary: After being hounded for being the traitor without proof, you come to a new realization as only a select few stand up for you, as the others turning their backs away. No one sees you again, that is until the war breaks out, but you aren't happy to see them.

▶ Word Count:

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

No Ordinary Temptation (Coming Soon)

▶ Romantic (Shinso) + Platonic (Aizawa)

▶ Shinso x Fem Reader and Father! Aizawa & Daughter Reader

▶ Summary: A hurt/Comfort fic for anorexia

▶ Word Count:

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

Purity Prevails at Midnight (Coming Soon)

▶ Romantic (Either Bakugo or Deku) x Fem Reader

▶ Summary: Reader has a unique quirk that's garnered a fair amount of attention over the years, both good and bad. When a new statue is suddenly found sitting on display it brings a bought of cruel irony to the reader, who grows a distaste for it. Eventually people begin to go missing all over town, and no one can seem to find the suspect. And it all happens when the clock stuck midnight.

▶ Word Count:

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

Serendipity Soiree (Coming Soon)

▶ Romantic/Fluff (Shinso x GN Reader)

▶ Summary: You and Shinso are best friends, and together you're both celebrating Halloween with some friends. An unexpected concession catches you off guard.

▶ Word Count:

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

The Weight of Regret

▶Dadzawa Hurt/Comfort

▶ Reader who developed a bad habit of smoking and gets help from Aizawa

▶ Word Count: 6868

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

Sweetly Smitten

▶ Tamaki x GN Reader

▶ Reader works at a bakery and develops a crush on a certain indigo-haired boy who regularly visits. Both are too shy to confess, so Mirio and Nejire decide to take matters into their own hands

▶ Word Count: 11,800

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

You're Not Alone

▶ Bakugo x Reader (Relationship/Gender unstated)

▶ Bakugo hears reader crying in the shower and offers some words of comfort

▶ Word Count: 1251

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

WRITING EVENT:

Lunchtime Troubles

▶ Present Mic x Reader (Platonic/Fem Reader)

Go To Bed

▶ Aizawa x Student Reader (Platonic/Gender Unstated)

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

A Runaway's Hope

▶ Aizawa x Daughter Reader (Platonic)

▶ Reader gets kicked out of her mother's house and goes to live with her father, Shota Aizawa, consequently forgetting to let him know in the process.

▶ Word Count: 2746

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

What I Owe To You

▶ Aizawa x Self-Harming Reader (Platonic)

▶ Heavy warnings with this one. Aizawa walks in on reader self-harming and helps them get through it.

▶ Word Count: 2925

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

Love Knows No Bounds

▶ Yandere Dadzawa & Daughter Reader [Platonic]

▶ Genre: Kind of fluffy + Yandere themes

▶ Summary: Aizawa's never really taken a liking to kids. But you keep finding him somehow, and he wonders why he's now constantly worrying about you. He decides you're the only exception he'll make.

▶ Word Count: 4547

▶ Warnings:

This is yandere, so there's bound to be a slightly unhealthy mindset

Aizawa's not a creep, I promise

Implications of deaths of citizens

Graphic description of those citizens fear before said deaths

Mention of slight stalking

I'm not too great at writing Yandere, so it's not too bad

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

When The Clouds Part

▶Shirakumo x F! Reader

▶ Genre: Fluff, little bit of comfort

▶ Summary: The ask sums it up, but overall Shirakumo gets a little help deciphering his feelings towards you from his friends and plans on how he'll tell you how he truly feels

▶ Word Count: 7640

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

Only You

▶ Summary: You've been feeling a little forgotten, Shinso's popularity bringing in people who take up more of his time. Shinso, however, lets you know that you're far from it.

▶ Shinso x Reader

▶ Genre: Comfort

▶ Word Count: 3134

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

The Hollows of The Mind

▶ Summary: You receive... Threats. Luckily, Aizawa's the best at both protection and comfort

▶ Father! Aizawa & Reader

▶ Genre: Comfort

▶ Word Count: 2146

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

Listen to The Tears

▶ Summary: Aizawa consoles you through your loss

Mentor Aizawa & Reader

▶ Genre: Comfort

▶ Word Count: 1416

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

So Should She

▶ Yandere! Shinso x Kianna Komori (OC)

▶ Genre: Comfort

▶ Summary: Shinso confronts her about her eating disorder and decides to take a step forward in helping her heal

▶ Word Count: 1884

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

♡ Notes:

• As of this time, requests are open! They might be a little slower than usual because my mental state has been all over the place, also I need to get my phone fixed.

° Did I miss anything? Please tell me! Should I add something? Also please tell me!

• I wish you all a lovely day, thank you for being here for me ໒꒰ฅ́ ˘ ฅ̀꒱১ᦂ

[fandom-scatteredthoughtsonpaper]

Announcing a fandom community server!

Hi, guys! This is sorta directed at my followers but also Obey Me fans (and other fandom people).

I mentioned, like, a looong time ago I wanted to do a community server, but I didn't really understand how to use Discord, but since then I've been in a zine, a few collabs, and hosted my own collabs (currently running one for Lucifer 👀). So, I have the experience and knowledge of running a server now!

My urge to create a fandom-centric server has really bloomed and after sitting on the it for a year, I feel confident enough yet still anxious to release a link of an invitation to it (found at the bottom)! It's still fresh, and bots haven't been implemented yet, but I really want to push this out.

I myself am in a lot of different fandoms, obviously Obey Me, but also Baldur's Gate, Stardew Valley, Kingdom Hearts, Persona games, What in Hell is Bad, a few obscure fandoms (like Alien Stage and Touchstarved) and older ones (Homestuck), so I have all the intentions to have this server be inclusive to webcomics, anime and manga and adjacent media, games from standard video games to phone games, graphic novels, books, otome and romance stuff, indie media like web series, cartoons, and games, and more as it grows.

I also want this server to be a hub for writers and artists to share their stuff they're too awkward or anxious to post and receive feedback, and as a place to get to know fellow-minded people in shared fandoms. AUs, theories, headcanons, crossovers, self-inserts, your MCs/OCs - all allowed!

A few things to note:

This is a fandom community server, but it might start out as Obey Me heavy because I'm trying to direct attention to that fandom since that's the one I am mostly in and participated in most things as a fan.

Adults and minors (16+) are allowed, but there are rules implemented that divide channels into SFW and NSFW categories and channels.

Writers, artists, content creators, cosplayers, fans that dabble, etc. are enthusiastically welcomed

The server can also function with channels regarding roleplays and self-publishing (commissions, Etsy shops, etc.)

I really want this server to kinda be a central spot for small fandoms or dying fandoms (like Obey Me) or old fandoms or growing fandoms and ones in-between basically non-existent and probably way too big. I want the server to be a community of different fandoms and the people that incorporate them, and I want it to be a fun place to just either relax with other fans and share works you like or works you've made or as a place to just dip in a silently lurk to look at what people are talking about or look at what is shared or as a place to lose your fucking minds when updates happen or something wild or devastating in the media occurs.

I want this to be a respectful but enjoyable place to come to and join and feel like you can invite friends or maybe even make friends!

Hard rules:

Before entering though, the server has a soft screening process for people to join.

Verifications will be done by me to make sure no one with ill intentions has a chance to cause harassment or harm to members. Fandoms can be toxic and mean in public places like here and Twitter, but this server will be, to the best of my ability, a space away from that.

Absolutely no pedophilic content is allowed. Like, none. It'll be one of the fastest things to get you kicked and banned and blacklisted.

There are rules and specific channels for certain ships and certain explicit content that can be talked about in the server if there are any questions.

This server is for fandom communities and politics and religious hot takes are not applicable here. This is a designated relief zone and none of that is really welcome.

I think that mostly covers the sales pitch and important stuff, lol.

So with all that out of the way--

Link to join: https://discord.com/invite/g8VeSe4t

[tamzarian]

1, 16, 24 for the simpsons ask! With Gloria and/or Laurel, or any other OC you wanna ramble about :]

[Simpsons OC Asks]

1 – How did you discover the show in the first place? Did it inspire you to create an OC right away, or later on?

Having been born just about 10 years after the first episode aired, I was always ever aware of the shows existence for as long as I can remember—of course, I always, for whatever reason, was under the assumption I wasn’t “allowed” to watch the show—after all it was an “adult” show, and I was a kid, so I wouldn’t be allowed to watch it (even though that logic doesn’t hold up—I was allowed to watch way worse stuff as a kid! my parents let me watch pg-13 and R rated movies with endless cursing and innuendo—and one of my favorite shows to watch growing up was Saturday Night Live—a far racier show than the Simpsons)

So, for years I never touched the show despite my awareness of it—even when I started watching Futurama, it’s sister series, I still dared not to touch the Simpsons! (Again, even though Futurama often had significantly racier episodes/jokes!!!)

Hell, even as a teenager, consuming far worse media content wise—I still didn’t watch the show—but at this point it was because it didn’t really pull my interest—from my understanding, the show was more “slice of life” (I didn’t know that was far from the truth, of course) and I just…wasn’t into slice of life type shows. I was into more fantastical adventures (stuff like steven universe, rick and morty, and of course futurama—I seemed to really like sci-fi animation for the most part, and fantasy here and there as well)

So it wasn’t, believe it or not, until 2021, when I was 22 years old, that I finally sat down to properly watch The Simpsons. Up until that point, the ONLY Simpsons episode I had EVER seen was the Futurama crossover—and I ONLY watched it for Futurama (I remember HATING the Simpson characters voices, even)

Anyways, I sat down, put on Season 1, Episode 1…and I thought it was boring. VERY boring.

I pressed on anyways with Season 1, but eventually stopped around episode 3 or 4–because it was just. Too boring. I couldn’t get attached to any of the characters, the pacing felt slow—it wasn’t even that funny. Homer was straight up unlikable, Marge and Lisa barely had personalities…and Bart? Was just okay. I knew he was like, the mascot of “edgy media” circa early 90s, but to me, a person watching in 2021, who grew up on creepypastas and Homestuck? He might as well have been Dennis the Menace (the *American* Dennis—the one that BARELY feels like a menace)

So I stopped watching and didn’t touch the show for two years after that.

In that time I thought about trying again—so I asked everyone in the group chat I was in (who’d watched the show) to tell me all of their favorite episodes, and I would just try watching those instead (since maybe it was just that season 1 wasn’t great, or the first episodes weren’t great) and of course, that’s when I found out that, yeah. Season 1 actually *wasn’t* that great. (I’ve seen a LOT of watch guides say to start with season 2 or 3) Even with that list though, I kinda forgot about the show (the list just. stayed in my backburner for the longest time)

Anyways, it was finally in 2023 I decided to give the show an honest chance again after watching a bunch of Futurama and Disenchantment, and having started my Futurama/Disenchantment account—and after running out of accounts related to those two shows to follow, I decided “hey…maybe I could follow some Simpsons accounts, since its just close enough” …and THAT is how I ended up giving the show another chance.

This is when Gloria started to come together a little in my head—I told my best friend that I was thinking of making a Simpsons OC (before I actually officially started watching the show—I just thought it might be fun to go into it with a rough character idea and develop her as I watched more of the show) and asked her for a suggestion of Who to pair her with (since I thrive off making OCxCanon pairings) and she suggested, immediately, to pair the OC with Krusty the Clown.

I, already being *slightly* familiar with Krusty (and the archetype he fulfilled as a “washed up TV Clown”) thought that was an intriguing idea—so I started trying to think up ideas of how my OC would meet Krusty—so I looked into him as a character, and then watched a bunch of Krusty centric episodes—and because I noticed the circus-theming of his show, I thought “hey, what if I made an acrobat character, and she comes onto the show to do acrobat stuff” so then I came up with and idea of what kind of person would end up being an acrobat on a local television show…

and so her backstory about being a disgraced olympian gymnast came to mind immediately—after all, only someone struggling in that way would put up with the conditions of working on Krusty’s show, lol.

So I put together her backstory, and it just all started falling into place—her parents and family all being athletes (her father being a Mexican olympic swimmer, her mother a Polish olympic runner), Gloria also competing as a figure skater (I needed a way to up the amount of medals she won in the short time she was competing so I picked whatever the most similar sport to gymnastics that there is in the winter games lol), her parents dying tragically when she was very young, her having a previous romantic relationship with Sideshow Bob (him being the reason she was able to get a job on the show—it was a ploy to try and win her back on his part), her already having an obsession with clowns to an extent (in my research, I found out Mexico LOVES clowns. Not surprising to me, since clowns are great, in my humble onion!)

And after that, I started building my universe—eventually I made Laurel because I wanted to make another OC (and Priscilla—fun fact about her—even though I never really watched the show when I was younger, I always thought if I made a Simpsons OC it would be a child named Priscilla? so that’s why I named Laurel’s daughter that—because that name for a Simpsons OC was always in the back of my mind) and somehow Laurel ended up being Krusty’s ex-wife (it started at first as just a quick plot twist my bestie came up with, for an RP I was doing bc I hadn’t decided on Priscilla’s father yet at that point—another potential father we had considered in the RP was Snake, but I couldn’t think of a reason why Laurel would have ever met him. Meanwhile with Krusty, I was able to come up with a backstory for that almost instantly!) and then I just. Kept making more OCs. Vanessa, Jeanie, Fatima, Echo, Hiroshi, and then Bev.

16 – What would an episode centered on your OC look like? Are there specific themes that would be explored through your OC's life?

So a recurring idea I keep thinking of, but haven’t actually figured out the specifics of yet, is the concept of Gloria doing SOMETHING outside of her role on The Krusty Show that gets her significant public attention (which, even as a disgraced former olympian—she still was already fairly popular—especially in Mexico—due to having a likeable and kind personality, being very friendly, and having an infectious laugh)

And I imagine that when she starts getting this attention, it would cause Krusty to get worried that 1) she might leave the show, and 2) she might leave *him* for someone better—Krusty as a character is a very insecure individual, so I imagine any time something like this would happen, he would worry about the stability of their relationship, and if she would stay with him.

So the conflict of the episode would Gloria getting more and more attention, while Krusty gets more and more insecure and worried that she’s going to leave—to the point where he starts pushing her away.

Of course, they would resolve this conflict by the end of the episode, and she would assure him that no matter how popular she gets—HE is the man she is in love with, and that she wants to be with him, for better or worse. He’s HER guapo payaso, after all.

24 – Aside from their home, is there a specific place in Springfield where your OC likes to spend time?

As mentioned in the previous ask, she’s in a relationship with Krusty—so the time not spent at her home, would be spent with him at his home—doing all sorts of things—watching tv, drinking, getting high, and also sleeping together (both literally, and in the innuendo sense.)

I imagine that’s probably what would make the conflicts in the previous ask begin—they already spend a lot of time together, so of course if she gets more famous, and thus more busy—that’s why he would get worried about their relationship and feelings about him.

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 5

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 20.2k 

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N:  Currently not able to stay still because this is one of my favorite chapters and it's been one I have been excited to share ever since I finished writing it. So since imagine-that-100 and I are posting part 4 of Chicken Shop Date next week, I thought I would bring this chapter forward a week hehe, though this means you'll have to wait a week longer for the next one since I'll stick to posting it on the original date it was supposed to which is April 7th. But right now, I truly cannot wait to see your reactions to this one. I have a feeling you might yell at me lolll. Enjoy!!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

(17/09/11 10:28) Congrats on the suck it and see video, compliments the song brilliantly.

(17/09/11 10:31) Thank you for that and for helping us with it x

(17/09/11 10:39) Nothing to thank, that's my literal job Al hahaha

(17/09/11 10:40) Hahaha that's true. Well then thanks for making it such a great time for us.

(17/09/11 10:44) My pleasure :) Send my love to everyone over there, I hope tour is going smoothly x

(17/09/11 10:44) Will do x And it is! Kinda wish you were here to see the madness x

(17/09/11 10:45) We better hope America treats you just as well next time you come, I'll definitely be there :) x

•••

(27/10/11 13:16) I'm so glad Helders had the idea of going to Vegas and filming it.

(27/10/11 13:18) It was quite a lovely time, congrats on the music video Al!

(27/10/11 13:18) Even though most of it is just Bre and Matt, I'm happy to see that day after all this time x

(27/10/11 13:20) C'mon Turner, it's only been a couple months x

(27/10/11 13:21) Fair enough but, don't tell this to anyone, I miss America quite a bit.

(27/10/11 13:27) Any particular reasons?

(27/10/11 13:29) A couple come to mind...

(27/10/11 13:33) Any with first and last names?

(27/10/11 13:33) Are you trying to trick me into saying something?

(27/10/11 13:34) Maybe...

(27/10/11 13:48) I do miss you Ellie xx

(27/10/11 13:49) Well, that's good to hear xx

(27/10/11 13:49) I miss you following me around with your camera on my face x

(27/10/11 13:50) Anyone would think I'm a crazy pap from that sentence alone.

(27/10/11 13:50) Aren't you? x

(27/10/11 13:52) Alright Turner, I'm not saying i miss you too then.

(27/10/11 13:56) I joke, I joke x

(27/10/11 13:57) Hahaha I know, I do miss you xx

(27/10/11 14:02) Well, that's good to hear xx

•••

(05/11/11 02:22) Helders got a new film camera!

(05/11/11 02:22) No way?! Show me!!!

(05/11/11 02:24) *picture of Matt holding a Leica M6 to his face squinting his left eye*

(05/11/11 02:25) I'm so jealous! A Leica M6?! She's stunning!!!

(05/11/11 02:26) He's also been pestering me for your phone number, he might've stolen it from my contact book already.

(05/11/11 02:28) He did and texted me last night. Remind me again why you don't have a password? He's going to be the death of me.

(05/11/11 02:29) You said you missed the lads the other day, and I delivered the message. You didn't expect it to be that easy to escape him, did you?

(05/11/11 02:30) This is what I get for being a caring friend.

(05/11/11 02:31) It has its cons x

(05/11/11 02:46) It wasn't only Helders breaking into your phone, by the way.

(05/11/11 02:49) What do you mean?

(05/11/11 02:49) Nick and Jamie texted me earlier too hahaha

(05/11/11 02:49) Sorry? x

(05/11/11 02:50) Don't! I suppose you're gonna have a little rest from me now that I have more people to annoy x

(05/11/11 02:51) You're never annoying Ellie x

(05/11/11 02:51) I find that hard to believe x

(05/11/11 02:53) You really aren't x I actually think if you stop sending me your weekly film reviews and song recommendations I might go in a weird type of withdrawal xx

(05/11/11 02:53) I'll keep them coming for you then ;)

(05/11/11 02:54) I really hope you do xx

•••

(24/12/11 16:12) Just double checked and since it's already the 25th where you are, Merry Christmas Alex!!!

(24/12/11 16:17) Thank you Ellie, merry christmas to you too xx

(24/12/11 16:18) I hope Sinatra is playing on repeat all day today x

(24/12/11 16:21) You know he is. It's snowing later today as well, will send you pictures xx

(24/12/11 16:23) You're gonna make me miss home, I haven't had a white christmas in a while now :((

(24/12/11 16:24) We should do a video call then, make some hot chocolate and pretend you're here x

(24/12/11 16:25) Sounds lovely to me x See you later then, Al :)

(24/12/11 16:26) See ya Ellie xx

•••

(31/12/11 15:09) It feels weird having Bre here but not you, the group feels incomplete xx

(31/12/11 15:09) So sorry I said no, I had already planned on spending this one in Tennessee. And I would rather eat a cup of dirt than have you pay for my whole holiday in the uk!

(31/12/11 15:10) You don't have to be sorry, I know you missed your family x And you stubborn woman! Will you ever let me pay for anything for you without having to physically distract you when it comes to it?

(31/12/11 15:12) Never ;))) But you'll be pleased to know I have started saving up for my own trip, just give me some months and I'll be on your side of the pond x

(31/12/11 15:13) Can't wait to see how poorly you do in the cold once again, I'll have my coats ready for you to steal xx

(31/12/11 15:15) You're mean!

(31/12/11 15:16) I'm actually very kind, i'll be letting you take them all xx

(31/12/11 15:17) I think whatever you're having is getting to you already, go enjoy the party for me Turner! (I'm there in spirit x).

(31/12/11 15:17) I'm the most sober in here right now. Nick's pissed already and Matt is following very closely behind. (I can weirdly feel your presence in the room xx).

(31/12/11 15:18) Oh I would pay to see that!!

(31/12/11 15:18) Well lucky for you I won't charge you for the following videos x *video of Nick and Matt messily racing to chug down a pint of beer, video of Nick and Matt singing karaoke*

(31/12/11 15:19) You've just made my entire year with that HAHAHA

(31/12/11 15:22) Glad to hear it x

(31/12/11 16:00) Happy New Year from my side of the pond, Ellie xxxx

(31/12/11 16:03) Happy New Year Al xxxx Feels weird saying that at four in the afternoon haha

(31/12/11 16:04) Haha, time zones are mental, aren't they? Let me know when it's 2012 for you too xx

(01/01/2012 00:00) Happy New Year!!!! We just caught up to you hahah xx

(01/01/2012 00:00) Thank you, darling x How's it going with your family? xx

(01/01/2012 00:01) Absolutely insane but I had missed the madness that it was to spend the holidays with them :') Thinking about how crazy it would be if y'all were here to celebrate with us xx

(01/01/2012 00:04) Let's hope for 2013 xx

(01/01/2012 00:05) Yeah let's hope for that xx What about you? Starting the year with a hangover?

(01/01/2012 00:09) Thankfully no, but with a headache from inspiration and too much to write x

(01/01/2012 00:10) Don't stress yourself too much, it's always a perfect record x

(01/01/2012 00:11) Now you're just being nice x

(01/01/2012 00:12) Stop it, you know how good you are! I also have a feeling this one is gonna make history all around the world xx

(01/01/2012 00:15) We shall see about that xx

•••

(05/01/2012 12:21) I love how you regretted flipping the camera off and tried to cover it up with a peace sign.

(05/01/2012 12:34) I'm confused...

(05/01/2012 12:35) Black treacle just came out! Fill me in on Bre and Matt's fight after it.

(05/01/2012 12:36) You're still after Bre, I see x

(05/01/2012 12:38) Well if Matt fucks up then I need to be a good friend, don't I? x

(05/01/2012 12:39) Oh you think you're slick x

(05/01/2012 12:39) I'm smoother than you, that's for sure x

(05/01/2012 12:39) Hey what's that meant to mean?!

(05/01/2012 12:40) Hahaha nothing Turner, it means nothing.

(05/01/2012 12:41) How about I give you something? xx

(05/01/2012 12:41) And what would that be? xx

(05/01/2012 12:42) Remember how I promised you another music video? xx

Her jaw dropped at the same time her phone hit the kitchen counter, and in a delayed reaction she went to check if she'd cracked it but was relieved to see it intact. What the fuck?! was all that she could hear inside her brain, chanting to herself as she frantically opened her contact book to call Alex but, of course, the singer beat her to it. The room echoed with the ringing of his incoming call and she was quick to answer.

A loud "Are you serious?!" came out of her mouth like an instinct, not even giving him time to say hello.

His breathy laugh came through the speaker, "Do you think I'd be joking about that?"

She was screaming on the inside, her tummy fluttering as she thought about how the countdown to see him again would start right at that moment. "I don't– I just– When? Do Aaron and Ben know?"

He was lying on his settee, with his phone pressed to his ear and his ceiling was witnessing one of the brightest smiles he'd ever wore in his life. "I reckon our manager is getting in contact with them next monday, and possibly for the beginning of February. You know, we're doing a brief US west coast tour before we go back into the shadows to record the next one."

"Oh my god, really?! That's so soon!" Ella hadn't felt this much excitement since she got accepted in her first job in LA, everything felt light suddenly and she just couldn't wipe the smile off her face.

She's adorable, he thought with his cheeks aching. He could feel her happiness through the phone and she had this way of calming him down by just talking to him, that's why they had called each other so many times throughout the past months they hadn't seen each other.

"It is! And you're coming with..." Alex bit his lip trying especially hard to catch her reaction and when he got a tiny gasp, he freed his lip from his teeth and smirked, "Well, at least I was hoping you will– We, we were hoping you will." He cleared his throat, hoping the correction wasn't too noticeable.

Of course she noticed, her heart skipped a beat at that and her cheeks had warmed. Keep it cool, keep it cool, she reminded herself. "I would need to ask Ben and Aaron but I'd love to." She was giddy but then she realized what touring meant and her questions just came out in full force, "Wait... How many days would it be? Are we staying in hotels or just on the bus? We're not flying anywhere, are we? Who can I speak with from your team to pay for it?"

His chuckle was out before he could think of containing it, "It would just be a week of tour. No flying anywhere, no—we're moving on the tour bus like we did for Vegas. And as for the expenses you really don't have to worry, everything is paid for."

"But–"

He tutted, "No, Ella. I'll just let you pay for whatever you want to buy wherever we go but you're not paying for anything else if it's already covered."

She sighed feeling defeated but her excitement bubbled up again when she remembered what she had just accepted, "Oh I'm so excited!"

Alex decided to tease her and test the waters, "That eager to see me?"

She laughed at his advances, "Nope, just excited for the gigs and the free alcohol."

He laughed with her, "Glad to see where your loyalty lies."

Ella hummed and nodded, instantly feeling dumb when she saw her reaction reflected on the microwave realizing Alex was not seeing it. "And I'm glad you're understanding of my priorities."

"Talking about priorities, how come you're not at work? What have you been up to?" The thought of her casually picking up the phone at this time, when she'd normally pick up to whisper that she was at the office and that she'd have to keep whispering throughout the call, had been swirling around the back of his head and he was curious to know what had happened to change the situation.

She sighed, turning to rest her hips on the side of her kitchen counter and watching her guest bedroom door behind which her sister had been getting ready for almost twenty minutes. "Not much, just took the day off to pick my sister up from the airport."

He smiled at the news, thinking back to the many times Ella had mentioned her sister, the memories she shared with her and how many 'i miss her's he had heard after each anecdote. "Is she visiting?"

Her smile could be felt through the phone from the tone of her voice, and Alex couldn't help but count how many days it had been since he had witnessed that sight. "Yeah, she's staying for the week so I'm gonna show her every corner I love in LA."

A deep hum came from his side, "So she's getting a VIP Ella – Los Angeles tour..."

She let out a little chuckle, "Exactly that."

"Sort of jealous she gets one and I haven't gotten one yet."

With a smirk on her face Ella was quick to reply, "Well Mr. Rockstar, you haven't been here in a while and every time we've seen each other has been for filming."

He let out a breathy laugh that made her insides coat with warmth, "Fair enough. I'll be sure to get enough time in February to get a tour."

Her stomach flipped hearing him say he'd make time for her, even if it was just a joke she couldn't help the way it made her giddy and her cheeks light up. "Alright then...I'll give you a good discount, don't worry."

"You'll probably get a date before we even know of one, so I hope you have flexibility when it comes to changing reservation dates for those tours of yours." Alex kept the banter going, loving how most of the time her replies would surprise him and keep him thinking if she had really just said that.

"Of course I do! Mates rates, didn't you say it was?" She was about to continue when her guest bedroom door opened to reveal her sister all ready and putting her earrings on. "Speak of the devil... my lovely sister just finished getting ready so I'm gonna have to leave you Al, sorry." She sighed, sad that she had to cut the conversation short once again despite not being at work.

"Don't apologize Ellie, s'alright." His voice was soft and she hoped she could continue to listen to it for as long as life would allow her. "Hope you enjoy yourselves, send my regards to your sister."

She melted inside, her rational side yelling at her emotional counterpart that it was a simple thing to say and not something to swoon over but she was blind. Maybe that was his effect, pure blindness to everything else and only being able to see him. "Thanks Al, will tell her you said hi. Hope to hear from you soon."

"You definitely will," he promised, "Goodnight Ella."

Ella's eyes were on the ten in the morning sun coming through her windows and smiled to herself, "Goodnight Alex."

The room was filled with silence as she pressed the red button to end the call. A bright grin was set on her face with no intention to disappear, her cheeks were slightly pink but it was the tiny squeal that she accidentally let out that caused her older sister, Lily, to speak up.

"So you do have a crush!" Lily's index finger was pointing accusingly at Ella.

She turned her head so fast she was surprised she didn't get whiplash, "What?" She asked too defensive to make the situation seem casual.

Lily smirked at her, reading her face easily, "I was right, you do like him."

"Oh shut up, I do not." Ella's voice sounded annoyed but her sister knew that tone of hers, it was pure denial.

The older sister just sighed and rolled her eyes, "When are you ever gonna stop being so stubborn?"

"The day I die." Ella replied quickly and proceeded to grab her car keys from the counter and put her phone in the pocket of her jeans. "Let's go."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Wednesday, the 8th of February had been the day Ben and Aaron had been informed the lads would touch down on American soil again and the day had rolled around fairly quickly.

It felt as if the countdown to the day of the band's arrival had been fast forwarded and for that she was grateful. She wasn't a fan of having to wake up early but she had woken up to a picture of the lads at the airport and several texts from all of them, and it made her grin like a mad woman as she got ready.

(08/02/2012 06:12) *picture of Matt flipping the camera off at the baggage claim area* Fair to say he's excited to see you.

(08/02/2012 06:26) Tell him I'm just as enthusiastic to see him, Cookie.

•••

(08/02/2012 06:20) My darling Ella, hope you're up and ready to see us. Alex said something about getting a tour from you...

(08/02/2012 06:27) Definitely up, and slowly getting ready. If there's one thing you should know, is that I need a good cup of coffee to properly function this early in the morning. And yes, I'm driving y'all and giving you a tour around LA.

(08/02/2012 06:28) Noted, gonna get you loads of coffee for the tour. Can't wait to see how poorly you drive xx

(08/02/2012 06:28) Alright O'Malley, rude.

•••

(08/02/2012 06:34) I bet you're celebrating I'm back in your land already.

(08/02/2012 06:35) You have the biggest head, has anyone told you that?

(08/02/2012 06:35) Been told something similar, if you know what I mean ;)

(08/02/2012 06:35) You're actually disgusting, Helders.

(08/02/2012 06:36) Yeah, yeah, you love me.

(08/02/2012 06:36) You certainly wish.

(08/02/2012 06:37) You're just in denial. We're about an hour away from the hotel by the way, you better be on your way missy x

(08/02/2012 06:38) I'm about to leave. Dreading seeing you though x

(08/02/2012 06:39) You keep telling yourself that x

•••

(08/02/2012 06:40) Can't wait to see you! We're an hour away xx

(08/02/2012 06:41) Give your friends a smack in the back of their heads for me please, haven't even seen you yet and I'm getting bullied already x

(08/02/2012 06:42) Will do. I'm guessing Helders gets double? x

(08/02/2012 06:43) Atta boy, you're so smart x I'm on my way, see you soon Al! x

To say she was giddy on the drive to their hotel was an understatement. Ella had been bouncing on her seat, not even minding having to sit in the traffic for longer than she would've liked to, singing her favorite songs a little bit louder than usual, with a bright grin permanently on her face throughout the whole drive.

She found a spot in the parking lot of the hotel quite easily and with a skip in her step, she made her way through the big window doors and into the lobby. The guys were all distracted on their phones, so many people were walking around the hotel lobby that the echo of her steps was lost in between the pattern.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Arctic Monkeys." Ella's voice was playful, a smirk on her face as she saw them turn their heads in her direction.

The four of them pocketed their phones and yelled her name, a little bit too loud for the hotel staff's liking. Ella was enveloped in a group hug and she swore she could cry when it hit her then just how much she'd missed them the past six months.

"Missed you guys." She said once the group hug was done and she went around giving them all hugs.

Alex was the last one, kissing the top of her head before he let go, "Missed you too."

She was melting, having missed the singer more than she would ever admit but the moment was cut short when Matt said, "Couldn't live without us huh?" A big smirk on his face, his eyes as playful as ever.

"Matthew, I will leave you here." She looked at the drummer with a serious expression, that was broken when she saw his film camera hanging from his neck.

Matt threw his arms up in defeat, "Alright, alright. But you couldn't though." He added the last bit quickly and quietly.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes, "If that helps you sleep at night."

After asking them if they were ready to go, and all of them nodding, she guided them to her car. It was big enough for all of them to fit comfortably so it didn't take them much time to get inside the vehicle and start driving. Alex was sitting on the passenger seat, while the rest took the backseats.

The little mirrorball was hanging from her rearview mirror with a tiny cowboy hat on top and it caught their attention. They all pointed at it with giggles whilst Alex could only think about how long it had been since the first time he saw it and how that day had been. Soon enough she turned on the car and started driving out of the parking lot.

Nick, who was in the middle, rested his arms on the front seats and looked around them all before saying, "Anyone want to share their last words before we get on the motorway?"

They all laughed hard, Ella looked through the rearview mirror at them and shook her head. She took her right hand and swatted at Nick's leg, leaving the steering wheel alone for a second which made Matt dramatically yell.

"Jesus Christ, I hate y'all." She sighed, placing her hand back where it was and focusing back on the road.

Jamie, who was sitting behind her, patted her arm. "Except you don't."

She opted to put her music on, letting the speakers drown the car with Ozzy Osbourne's voice. No one complained, which she was thankful for, they were just chatting over the music from time to time until they made it to Venice beach.

She took them walking through the Venice canals, the little suburb which was an American version of the Italian city. She had found it once while looking for a parking place when she was going to the beach with her friends, loving how quiet the place was and how pretty the scenery was. She had gone back multiple times to take pictures there, some of her favorite pictures were from the canals under the colors casted by the rising sun.

They had used the neighborhood as a backdrop to them walking around and catching up, them telling her tour anecdotes and how Nick's wedding plans were going, her telling them about the things they had been filming at Focus Creeps—which were now steering away from adverts and onto short films and artists trying to work with them after the Arctic Monkeys videos had been posted—and the shoots she'd been doing with Breana, which she promised Matt to show.

It was early, so the streets were rather empty, and it was February so it wasn't unbearably hot either.

Ella had her camera with her, constantly stopping to take pictures and it sent Alex back to Vegas. The way she would shiver despite having her jean jacket on sent him back to the day they had met. This time though, she would share her frames and exchange tips with Matt—he had her take pictures of certain places, she was helping him get the perfect shot—and Alex was melting inside. She was beyond adorable when her face lit up while sharing her passions.

After they gave the neighborhood a full walk-around, they went back to the car and she drove them over to the Old Los Angeles Zoo. The drive was long, over an hour, which was filled with her music and lots of chatter. She turned the volume down, the Talking Heads song fading to the background, so that she could give them a small preface of where it was that they were going.

"Okay so before you say anything about the LA Zoo signs, I'm actually taking you to the old abandoned one. It's very apocalyptic looking, but it has character."

Soon enough they were parking on the side of the road, and they could see an old rusty sign that read 'Picnic Area'. She guided them into the place, agile while scurrying and crouching down and through the stone ruins.

They were walking around and seeing every one of the forgotten cages, the lads getting inside of them and getting their pictures taken by Ella while they made weird faces or they tried to act like the animals they'd guess had lived in those cages.

Matt had trapped Ella into one of the cages, making her curse him through the metal bars as the band waved at her and faked leaving her behind. Alex taking a quick picture of her with his phone, she flipped him off and he smiled even harder.

Ella had gotten her payback when they were in a particularly claustrophobic cage that had a very steep staircase. Matt had been resting his palms against the graffitied walls at the top, as he slowly leaned his body forward to look down but he screeched when Ella had purposely nudged his hip and made his balance waver.

"You little–" The drummer had mumbled sternly before setting off to chase behind her, not hard to know where she went since she had run away giggling and they could still hear her.

Another thirty minutes of them messing about went by, before they were back in her car. She sighed as she settled in the driver's seat. Everyone shuffled into their seats but before she could start the engine, she had to make her mind up about where to take them next.

Her fingers drummed on the steering wheel as she looked through the rearview mirror at them. "Alright, so do you wanna go to the Hollywood sign or am I good to take you to the next place?"

They had already gone to the iconic landmark multiple times before so it wasn't hard for them to shrug and agree on moving onto the next place, which ended up being Los Feliz and they drove through the Shakespeare bridge on their way there, which she had pointed out enthusiastically.

Ella loved this part of the city of Los Angeles, she would visit it at least once a week to have some food at La Pergoletta and then go to the Los Feliz Theater which was just a couple blocks away. And that's exactly what they did. They sat at the Italian restaurant to have some early lunch—Ella giving them all recommendations of what they should get and fighting them to pay for the meal when the check arrived—, and then they went over to walk by the theater and the rest of Los Feliz Boulevard.

With their stomachs full and yet another roll of film gone, they went back to the car. Jamie walked ahead of the group as he claimed to remember exactly where they had parked, Nick and Matt talking as they followed closely behind, Alex and Ella on the very back of the group smoking.

"Are you excited to go on tour with us?" Alex inquired after he took a drag of his cigarette.

A puff of smoke left her lips, "I certainly am, though I can feel my back hurting already."

"Bunk beds are lovely, aren't they?" He looked at her with a playful smirk that made her chuckle.

"I bet you love going to the chiropractor." She sighed, exhaling the smoke and flicking some of the ashes to the floor.

"I've never been to one actually." the singer admitted after thinking for a second, trying to recount any visit to a chiropractor.

"Are you serious?" Ella asked with a gasp, and when he shook his head, she shrugged. "Well you should, it's the weirdest relief."

Alex thought about it but then frowned, "Doesn't the cracking noise freak you out?"

"Kind of? The first time he cracked my neck I fully thought I had died and was seeing the other side." She recalled, shuddering at the memory and the wind that had hit her.

He snorted, "That's exactly why I'll stick to massages, thanks very much."

"Are you gonna share your masseuse's number then?" She jokingly replied, but actually thinking of ways to alleviate her upcoming backache during the tour in the back of her mind.

Alex looked straight ahead towards his friends and pointed to the one in the front. "That would be Jamie actually, he knows his shit when it comes to a good back massage."

She hummed, looking at the man walking confidently ahead of the group. "Good to know." A few seconds of silence passed as they kept smoking and she thought of taking a picture of them, like that, in a mundane LA setting so she turned to the singer. "Alright Alex, c'mon go walk with them I wanna take a picture of y'all."

He nodded, smoking the last of his cigarette before tossing it to the pavement and stepping on it. "Tired of me, are you? The tour hasn't even started yet." He teased with a raised eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes, smiling at his behavior. "Shut up, idiot."

He smirked back, before starting to walk faster ahead of her. "How do you want me then?"

"Just keep walking and turn around when I call you." Ella instructed with a point of her finger.

Alex nodded and complied, walking right behind Nick and Matt who nodded at him in acknowledgement but kept talking between themselves. He was waiting for her voice to call out to him, watching his feet move, the sound of every step he took hitting his ears as the city noise became more background noise than anything.

When he heard a soft "Al" being called, he turned around with a soft smile—a smile that she captured, with the perfect focus and he looked stunning so the thought just escaped her.

"Stunning." Her voice was soft as she rolled the film with the lever, sticking it back into its place right after. Turning the device off since she wasn't taking any more pictures, she let it hit her upper stomach and when she looked up, she was met with his gaze.

"Is that so?" Alex nudged her hip with his and Ella blushed.

"Yes but don't let it get to your head," her cheeks stayed warm as she tried to play it cool, "Or else I'll have to take it upon myself to keep you humble."

He hummed as he pursed his lips trying not to grin, "I'm sure you'd enjoy that."

"You're right, I truly would." She nudged him this time and he tripped on his feet making her laugh out loud, the lads turned around to see him stumble and joined in her laughter. "Told you I would." She added smugly.

Alex looked at her mesmerized, Ella was just so hypnotizing to him. With everything she did, what she said and how she looked, he couldn't help but stare. She flushed under his gaze and was saved by the bell when Jamie indeed found her car and she had to speed her walk to unlock it for them.

Once inside, she ignited the engine and clapped her hands, "The next place I'm taking you is probably one of my favorite places in the whole world, I spend hours here every time I go and it's beautiful so..." she ranted before turning her music on, Stevie Nicks' voice now drowning the vehicle as they moved through the streets and back onto the highway.

It took them less than thirty minutes to get to the place, which had felt way faster after Matt decided to tease her about being born in the wrong generation as her playlist was filled with 70s and early 80s songs rather than more modern music; she hadn't gotten a chance to even fight their argument because when Alex started skipping through the songs, their point was backed. Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, Talking Heads, The Cure, Pink Floyd, Bowie, Dolly Parton, Fleetwood Mac. Ella blushed as she slapped Alex's hand away from her phone, Bowie's voice lost in the background as everyone laughed.

When they stepped through the threshold of the bookstore, Ella's breath was taken from her by the views, as if she didn't frequent the place and she wasn't acquainted with the people who worked there.

Even Matt, who couldn't be arsed to be in a bookstore, was taken aback by the way the place looked. The way the books were arranged and the eccentric decor of each room was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It was like a Disneyland themed room, but it was just a bookstore.

"Just wait until you see the book tunnel." Ella's voice was giddy, her smile growing as she stepped further inside, with them following closely behind.

And soon enough, while she gave them a tour of the place—saying "Hi!" to people working there who greeted her back and knew her name—, they were met with a room which had a tunnel against a wall, entirely made with books. Further ahead a wall with what had been arranged to look like flying books, that reminded them of Harry Potter.

After agreeing to spend half an hour there, since they had to be at the hotel in about two hours and she had to pick her stuff up and Breana to meet them back again, they separated to look through the endless selection of books the store offered.

Of course they had left Alex and Ella by themselves, but she was too entranced by the worn out spines on the shelves to see Matt winking at his best mate before leaving with Jamie and Nick.

"You know, I found an annotated original copy of Pride and Prejudice here the first time I came. It was titled 'Elizabeth Bennet' rather than Pride and Prejudice and I found out that that was the title of some copies when they first got here in 1832. Have been coming here since then." Her smile was soft at the memory, her eyes glimmering under the dull yellow lights.

He hummed, mirroring her gentle grin, "That must be worth a fortune."

"Oh definitely, but that book is not leaving me ever. If I don't get buried with it, then I will pass it down to my kids." She laughed at herself by the end, shaking her head at her thoughts and started walking to turn into another aisle.

He giggled with her, eyes wondering from her figure to the books. Some old, some new but all equally hypnotizing to her as she picked them out and inspected them.

"I'm sure they'll appreciate it."

"They better," Ella said absentmindedly as she put the book back in its place, "Or else I will haunt them."

Alex let out a breathy laugh as he reached for a book on the top shelf that had caught his eye. "You'd be the worst ghost, if they even exist."

She clicked her tongue, turning to look at him, book left forgotten in his hands as he met her gaze. "C'mon Turner, you need to have some faith or else I won't be able to haunt Helders for the rest of his life."

His smirk grew playful, "You'll make him miserable?"

She winked, "You know it."

Time flew by like it always did, purposely forcing the needles on the clock to spin faster when it knew Alex was with her, wind blowing the sand from the hourglass so they ran out of minutes when they were together. And as if they had been the embodiment of an alarm clock, the other three members of the group appeared, precisely on the dot of the time they had agreed on.

Back in the car, she sighed as she saw them all take in their assigned seats. "So how was it class? Did you like your road trip?"

Nick shrugged in the middle, his lips pressed to avoid smiling. "Eh. Could've been better."

And before Ella could retaliate, Matt added, "I'm pretty sure the driver tried to kill us a fair few times." to which Alex and Jamie agreed with "'Yeah, yeah."

She just rolled her eyes through the rear view mirror, and took advantage of having the singer next to her so she could smack the back of his head. "I can't stand any of you." She muttered as the engine hummed alive, making them all erupt in laughter at the way Alex had jumped in his seat.

The drive back to their hotel had grown amusing when 'Still Take You Home' came on, and she turned the volume up after saying with a massive smirk "See? How's that for modern music boys?"

She started singing along, copying Alex's accent and exaggerating it to an obnoxious extent but they were loving it. She made a full show, playing an imaginary guitar, getting cheered on by the lads and when the song was over she did a little curtsy with her eyes on the road.

Jamie patted Alex's shoulder, making him turn around and see a smirk on his friend's face. "Sorry Al, you're being replaced."

The singer only sighed, keeping up with the charade, "Just like that, huh?"

"Sorry mate." added Matt, a faux-comforting grasp of his shoulder as he apologized.

Ella grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "Sorry Al, but it's clear who's better if the decision was that easy." A frown on her face as she acted on putting a face that exuded fake pity.

He only shook his head, grabbing the phone. Unlocking it easily with a swipe on the screen and he searched through her music. "But do you know..." He trailed off as he pressed on the track. The quick drum pattern of 'Pretty Visitors' coming through the speakers and her pout faltered.

"Won't even try because I can barely understand what you say in it." Her cheeks tinted pink as the other three hollered in the back of the car.

"Looks like you're back mate." said Nick, backtracking their previous statement.

Alex smirked at Ella, who caught the sight of him for a quick second before turning back around to look at the road. "That's what I thought."

In an hour, she had dropped them off at the hotel so they could get ready before the tour bus got there later and picked them all up. She rushed home to pick up her suitcase—which she had forced herself to keep light and small—and then went over Breana's to get her.

The sun was setting as they talked, laughed and sang, driving down the highway and on their way back to the hotel. The closer the hotel's exit got, the more nervous she felt. Bre noticed, but she kept making jokes that made her loosen up. After all, nothing bad would happen; the worst could be that however she felt about Alex got nowhere and she'd stay silently crushing over a man out of her reach. And she somehow was okay with that, as long as she still could have him as a friend.

It was muscle memory that made her find a parking spot and turn off the engine of her car at the hotel. With a blink, she realized just how dangerous that had been, because she couldn't recall those last five minutes of the drive. The thought of him was dangerous.

The tiny wheels on their suitcases scratched down the pavement as they met the band at the hotel's main entrance. She had to quickly reach for Bre's suitcase when she let go of it to run into Matt's arms, catching it right before it hit the ground.

Jamie sighed, "Thanks Bre, we missed you too." Sarcasm so clear in his words, Matt chuckled and only held his girlfriend tighter.

Eventually, the lovebirds let go of each other and Breana could properly greet everyone. They all lit cigarettes up as they waited for the bus, which according to the text Alex had gotten, would be there in about fifteen minutes.

It was all laughter and chatter, a taste of what the upcoming week was going to be like, and Ella found it refreshing. Yes she loved her job, but there was something about driving down the west coast along with her friends, who happened to be musicians, enjoying their art and whatever the cities had to offer.

She wished she could go on tour more often already but since she knew this was gonna be the first and last time she'd get to go on one, she'd make the best out of the experience and enjoy every second of it.

A few minutes earlier than anticipated, the bus arrived. Tall black coach with dark windows that made her wonder if you could even look through them at all. She found that she could, after they all left their luggage where they had been instructed to place it and they walked up the steps and into the vehicle.

"Holy shit," Ella could barely keep her jaw from falling at the size of it, "It's bigger than the last one."

Matt walked up to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder and his other arm hugged Breana tighter to his side. "Had to upgrade since we're taking on two very special guests."

"Awh, I knew I was special to you." Ella cooed playfully before jabbing the drummer in his ribs.

He flinched and tried to get her back but she moved faster, "Don't go pushing your luck now, Ellie."

She giggled before she was swept away by Breana, who grabbed her hand and took her to the next few steps that led into the rest of the bus. There were far too many bunks for just the six of them but they looked bigger and more comfortable than the ones in the tour bus they had taken to Las Vegas so she wouldn't go complaining about anything. She was sure she could go without a hotel throughout the week, seeing that they had a perfectly sized bathroom inside as well, with a small shower and all.

Nick walked into the hallway, standing by the door that separated the bunks from the rest of the bus. "Yous can choose your beds first."

Bre turned to her with a playful smirk, shrugging her shoulders mischievously. "Chivalry is not dead I see..." the model trailed off, getting a hold of Ella's hand again to bring her back down the hallway.

And after leaving their coats on top of the beds they had chosen, which were facing each other, they went back down to the lounge area. The driver was at the bottom of the stairs telling them they'd be setting off in five minutes and made sure there was nothing else they were missing.

Five minutes after the confirmation that they were good to go, the bus started moving. They felt the change of rhythm as they got off onto the highway whilst they chatted, scattered around the settees in the lounge area.

"So Ella, are you ready for the groupie lifestyle?" Matt's voice was teasing, a slight pitch higher as the anticipation of her reaction bubbled inside of him. Breana giggled against her boyfriend's side which she was pressed against.

As per usual, Ella was starting to blush. Her cheeks tinted a faint pink as her lips pursed, "Groupie? That's a big commitment."

"Well I know a few people that would love to come to an agreement with you." The drummer let his eyes wander to his best friend who was about to break his jaw with how hard he was clenching it.

Ella knew exactly who Matt was staring at so her cheeks turned a very obvious red now, even the tips of her ears matching the color on her face.

She sighed, letting her head drop just a little bit for a few seconds before looking to her left and staring at the other three musicians. "How long is this tour again?"

Matt snorted, Breana laughing just as hard as Nick was. "Eight days." Jamie ended up replying, holding back laughter.

Her eyes were still on the rest of the band and she gave them a pitiful shake of her head, "Can't believe you can stand months of this one on the road. I'd pull all of my hair out."

Alex agreed with her then, "I'm fairly close to that point every tour."

"Sure mate, I'd pay to see you bald." Dared the drummer to which he only received an eye roll and a lovely middle finger from the singer.

Ella could only think how unforgettable those eight days were going to be.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella had been right.

She had it all imprinted in her mind.

Every kiss to her cheek followed by a 'good morning', an arm snaking around her waist giving it a firm squeeze before letting go and leaving her breathless.

Every time an arm came around her shoulders and rubbed her arm up and down when she was shivering because of the strong winds outside the venues as the sky turned from lilac and orange to a velvety blue.

Every whiskey glass turned into a slurred 'you look stunning, darling', that somehow always led to shared cigarettes outside bars and his giggles in her ear as he leaned into her every time she'd make him laugh.

Every picture she had taken of their views and their surroundings, that turned into a plea to take a picture of her with whatever it was in her previous shot as a background.

Every late night chat they had as they were always the last ones to go to bed. It be on the tour bus' lounge or a hotel bar, the walls of these places being confidants to everything they'd shared: stories from their childhoods, a movie they never really got over, a hobby they always wanted to get into but never could, their already gone dreams that would forever stay as that, the intricacies of existence they'd come to terms with never really understanding.

She was sure she had never blushed more in her life compared to how she had been in the past five days. Her cheeks were sore from grinning after everything Alex did, whatever little things he'd say to her.

They had grown closer, always next to each other. Their behavior had earned them plenty of eye rolls from the rest of the band, but they didn't truly care anymore.

That Tuesday she had woken up with a groan. They had been in Vegas the day before and, whilst their stay had been shorter and tamer than the last time they had been in the city, they still had had plenty to drink. A headache was all she felt, softer than she would've expected and she found a bit of hope in the fact that she could nurse it with a couple of painkillers.

Her phone screen flashed in front of her, a notification from the weather app telling her it would be a sunny but windy day in San Diego. Eyes going up to the time, nine in the morning and she took a deep breath but it got stuck in her throat when she realized the date. Fucking Valentine's Day.

Ella had grown to have good memories of the holiday, but they had all been tarnished by people's decisions and time. She didn't care much for it anymore, or she forced herself not to. Now all she could think was how she would hate the decision of having Breana sleep just across from her, she'd have to sleep blasting music in order not to hear anything. It had already worked for her the days before, so she would hold on tight to her earphones and her playlists to drown out whatever the lovebirds would get up to that night.

She shivered just thinking about it.

Slowly pushing the curtain aside, Ella slid out of the bunk. Landing with a thud on the floor, before she walked out to the lounge to make herself a cup of coffee on the fancy Keurig the tour bus had.

Nick had kept his promise of asking for loads of it. It had been an exaggerated amount but it was of a really really nice kind so she wouldn't complain.

Surprisingly everyone rose up not long after her, she thought it was probably the coffee's smell that had guided them out of bed and into the lounge. First came Jamie, who stood beside her, leaning against the makeshift kitchen counter as they sipped on their coffees.

Nick and Breana followed, the girl claiming Matt was still asleep but they'd be going out when he woke up, which meant the other four of the group were gonna be left alone without the lovers.

She had been teasing Breana along with Nick and Jamie—laughing as they managed to make the model blush and hide behind her hands—when Alex came out looking freshly changed, wearing a plain white shirt with a leather jacket, dark jeans and his usual chelsea boots. Gold chain around his neck and she had to pinch herself to stop her mind going places.

He took her breath away and it was shown in the way her exhale pushed the steam of her second coffee cup forwards.

"Morning everyone." The singer greeted in a low voice, morning's effect still over it as it sounded husky and slightly raspy.

They all said morning back, Ella turning around to pour him a mug of coffee. A spoonful and a half of sugar, the way she now knew he liked his coffee.

When she held it up for him to take he got closer, pressing a kiss to her cheek and whispering "Thank you, Ellie."

He took a long sip of the beverage before he cleared his throat, "You should get ready, we're going out in a little bit."

She frowned, cup slowly leaving her lips. "But–" she turned to Jamie then, who was still standing beside her, "Didn't we not have plans?"

Jamie smirked, looking from Ella to Alex, "We didn't."

"Just us, you deserve a break from these two idiots." He tried to downplay it, not wanting to say he was taking her on a date but he was.

Her hand was still frozen, the cup of coffee midair as she slowly broke out of her shocked state. "Alright..." she trailed off, her voice barely a whisper.

Nick got up, taking the mug from her hand. "Go on, I'll wash this for you."

Breathlessly she replied, "Thank you," before she, in panic, looked at Breana who had the biggest grin on her face.

The model jumped up onto her feet and ran away into the bunk beds with Ella's hand tightly clutched. They moved onto the empty bunk area, and closed the door behind them to not wake Matt up.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Breana whisper-yelled and it only made her more nervous.

Ella waved her hands to calm her down, "Stop! Stop!" She shouted back in a whisper.

Bre sighed, "He's totally asked you on a date."

"No he hasn't, it's just– We're just going out." Ella fought back, stuttering as she made her point.

"Going out. On a date." The model stated in a tone that said it was obvious.

"Fuck." She swore under her breath and Breana shrieked. "Shush! I don't want to get my hopes up."

The admission made Bre stop in her place, she grabbed Ella's arms and squeezed affectionately, "Everything will be okay, alright? Whatever happens, it will be a good day and you'll remember it as such."

She inhaled and exhaled, twice, long deep breaths to calm her down but they did nothing really. She needed a cigarette, desperately, but she needed to get ready first. "What do I even wear?! I have nothing date-appropriate to wear."

"Lucky you have me, babe." Breana wasted no time before she crouched down to pull her case towards herself, unzipping it and showing a mess of fabrics.

Ten minutes later, after she had been pushed into the bathroom to get ready and then change into the clothes Breana and her had chosen, she was putting some mascara on. Breana pushed one of her lip glosses into the pocket of the cheetah print coat she had lent Ella.

The coat had been decided into the outfit after Ella claimed she'd get too cold without one as she was just wearing a satin top, that looked like the top half of a slip-on dress, and her high waisted blue jeans. She fished her packet of Marlboro reds and her lighter after spraying some perfume on the way out, her camera already hanging on her shoulder and her phone in the back pocket of her jeans.

Her boots clicked as she walked down the few steps that led into the lounge. And Alex swallowed hard when she fully came in view. He didn't have it in him to feel shy or embarrassed to be heard by his mates when he went over to her, clutched her hand and told her, "You look beautiful, Ellie." followed by a kiss on her cheek.

His lips burned on the already heated skin of her cheeks. She just had it in her to say back a quiet, "Thank you, Al. So do you."

He quickly said goodbye to everyone before they could say anything, and he thanked his lucky stars that Matt wasn't there or else she would've shied away from it all with his teasing. She said bye too, quietly as the nerves bit away at her slowly with every step they took in direction to the bus door.

Once outside he decided to tease her, joke around to have her loosen up because he could feel just how stiff and nervous she was. "Beautiful am I then?"

She chuckled, blushing again. "Shut up." she replied with her head down, her voice directed at the floor. "Where are we going anyway?" She put a strand of hair behind her ear as she inquired.

Alex smiled softly at her, "We're renting a car and I'm taking you to this place I've always wanted to go but never had the chance to."

"Mysterious." She let her words hang in the air as they walked, she had no idea where they were going and that made her more nervous yet she was growing giddy too. The bus had stopped at the venue, so they took an exit through a door all the way around, where the fans weren't queuing up for later.

Just like he had been saying, there was a car rental place a few blocks away and it wasn't long before they were driving down San Diego's coast. About twenty minutes later, when she had asked many times where they were going and he was not telling her, Ella was able to see the outline of a rollercoaster beside the sea and it made her gasp.

"Are we going to Belmont Park?!" Her pitch was high as she couldn't contain her excitement, and Alex grinned hard when he took a quick glance at her and saw her practically beaming.

He hummed like he didn't want to let a pathetic happy squeal, "We are."

She couldn't stay still and she was aware that she probably looked like a child but she had always wanted to come to this place, and she was fairly sure she had mentioned it to him when they found themselves chatting over a few drinks at the bar of the hotel they had stayed in when they were in San Francisco.

It came back faintly to her mind then. Alex had mentioned that San Diego was the last place before they would drive back up to Los Angeles and Ella had gone on an alcohol-induced rant about how she'd been dying to go to Belmont Park but the few times she had gone down to San Diego, no one had wanted to go with her or something happened that kept her from going.

Her insides filled with a feeling she had been trying to ignore for the past few days, just thinking about how he had remembered all that when she had almost forgotten even mentioning it in between the cocktails.

Alex rolled the windows down, wind blowing their hair around. Not even her hair on her face could hide her grin and it only got bigger as they parked and got to the ticket booth.

The place was less crowded than she expected it to be, with kids back in school and it being winter, so they were walking freely and enjoying the controlled noise from the people already there.

The orange wristbands they had gotten allowed them to go on any ride they wanted so they went walking around the place, drinking in everything they could do throughout the day and seeing what caught their eyes first.

"We're definitely saving the roller coaster for last." She pointed out, her ears filling with the yells of people on the ride's trains as they came down the big slope.

He nodded, "Yep, but we're going in the first row." He was wearing dark sunglasses but she could see his teasing gaze behind them.

She smirked at him, "Okay, deal." putting her hand out for him to shake and that he did, firmly and matching her smirk.

A few minutes later they had found a mini golf course, safari themed that they deemed the best way to start the day. They picked up their score card, a pencil, their balls and putters and off they went into the course.

Ella turned to him as they approached the first hole, "Don't laugh at me," her finger threatening as it pointed straight at her face. "My dad tried to get me into golfing but I've always been shit at it."

His lips pressed hard against each other, trying to hide his smile. "Sure. Promise I won't laugh."

But when she hit the ball first and it awkwardly landed in the furthest spot from the hole, completely missing it by a foot, he snorted and she huffed as she turned around. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"

Her pout tugged at his heart strings, "Sorry darling," he pressed a kiss to her temple before placing his ball on the tee, "But you really are bad."

"I know." She whined, a soft chuckle leaving her lips seeing how far her ball was and how funny she found her own lack of golfing skills. Jesus, that's fucking embarrassing, she thought.

Ella didn't mind keeping the score, she was just a little embarrassed by the end when Alex won by having half her points. She blushed when he asked who had won, only wanting to tease her because he knew it was him.

Alex had compensated it by getting her ice cream, which they were eating away blissfully as they walked around.

The wind kept blowing her hair around, making her curse as she tried to keep it away from the ice cream. He stopped and handed her his cup, she was confused until he stood behind her and brushed her hair back to then start braiding it.

Her face was heating up, as she stared ahead of her, feeling his fingers on her hair. "What are you doing?" The words were so soft they almost sounded weak.

"A plait, so your hair doesn't blow on your face." Alex responded just as softly, his breath hitting the back of her neck. He could see the goosebumps erupting on her skin so he smirked, purposely brushing his finger against her neck soothingly.

He didn't take long to finish it, tying it with an elastic she had on her wrist. He squeezed her shoulders to indicate he was done and she turned around on her heels, "Thanks, Al."

"No worries." He smiled, getting his ice cream back from her.

"Where did you learn how to braid? I'm curious now."

Alex chuckled at her eyes clearly showing her curiosity. "I used to have long hair y'know."

She paused, "Wait– like long long? Longer than when we met?"

He nodded, "Way longer."

"Oh I'm gonna have a good time on google later." Ella elbowed him softly to tease him, cheeky smile breaking out despite the spoon between her teeth.

He rolled his eyes in faux annoyance, "Sure you will. Will have a good time chatting shit with Matt too, I bet."

She beamed and joked, "You know me so well."

Ella kept on walking then to taunt him some more, leaving him to keep up with her as her strides got faster. She got a playful shove when he caught up beside her which ended in her laughing.

Teenagers were running around with their friends, laughter came from all around the place, the sun was shining bright behind the clouds that stubbornly chased the star around. It was all perfect and it only got better as the day went by.

They had gone on the bumper cars twice, the drop tower, the beach blaster—which had gotten them so dizzy they ended up riding the carrousel afterwards, earning frowns from certain parents who were holding their toddlers up on the horses—, the go karts, the fun house and even a laser maze.

It was around lunch time when they were walking past a line of stands filled with food you could only find at a fair. Sweetness bold in the air, making their mouths water.

"What's that? Smells very nice." asked Alex when they passed a funnel cake kiosk.

Ella stopped in her tracks, grabbing his wrist to drag him to the back of the short line. "Funnel cake and we're getting some," she fished for her card to keep it in hand and pay before he could, like he had done all day. "Have you ever tried it?"

He hadn't even heard of the term before, "No, is it good?"

She sighed in delight just thinking about it, "It tastes like heaven."

Ten minutes later they were sitting on a little wooden table with two funnel cakes—that she proudly and quickly paid for—sitting on top of it. One had whipped cream and caramel drizzled all over, while the other had a scoop of vanilla ice cream, chopped strawberries and chocolate fudge.

"This is like asking for a diabetic coma." The singer joked, watching the dessert filling the plates.

She smiled at that, "Welcome to America baby," she quipped back with a playful tone on her voice.

The phrase came out of her mouth without her even having time to realize the pet name, but she played off her flushing cheeks as excitement as she moved one of the plates towards him and pulled the other in front of her.

Plastic forks dug into the fried batter and, just as Ella had described, it tasted amazing. She made him take bites out of hers, claiming he had to try it or else he'd regret it, so he did and she watched him take it in as she wiped some caramel from the corner of her mouth.

Alex savored the bite, thinking about how if he kissed her, she'd taste just as sweet and just that thought made his mouth water even more.

She had been taking pictures, and he thought about how he'd never grow tired of seeing her like that: so adamant on catching the perfect shot, sometimes slightly crouching down or standing on her tippy toes, nose scrunching as she closed one of her eyes to focus the frame, finger so delicate yet precise when pressing the shutter and that beaming grin after capturing it.

The same grin she was giving him now after she had taken a picture of him and the funnel cakes, the rest of the attendees so oblivious to her heart swelling up at his soft smile and the way his eyes crinkled.

Once they finished their food, they stood up and kept on walking until they stumbled on a photobooth on the left side of the boardwalk. He paid before she could notice, and when they were sitting on the flat red leather seat, she awkwardly smiled at the screen.

There was a five second countdown that made her internally freak out until she settled on just smiling, eyes closed from how big it was and he copied it as he also faced the camera.

Once the shutter sound went off she sighed, "I have no idea what to do, I'm usually the photographer!"

He chuckled and threw his arm around her shoulder to hug her into him, cheek pressed against her temple making her giggle. The sound of her bubbly laughter was interrupted by the shutter and she couldn't wait to see how that one had turned out.

She let out a small shriek, desperately trying to think of something to do. "Okay Mr. Rockstar, rock on." Ella said quickly before doing the rock 'n' roll sign with her right hand, tongue sticking out to the camera. He mirrored her actions, both of them bursting out with laughter right after. "Sorry I panicked, didn't know what to do."

Alex just shook his head and she scrunched up her nose looking at his blissed expression. "You're something else." He said almost breathlessly, getting lost in her pretty eyes.

"Is that a compliment?" Her voice was shy as her cheeks tinted pink for the hundredth time in the day.

He smirked, "Definitely."

And with that the shutter went off capturing the last picture. When they came out of the booth and saw the freshly printed pictures, they laughed. They laughed to hide how the strip of photos actually made them feel, her skin erupted in goosebumps at the sight of the last one: both of them just smiling wide at each other, eyes staring into the other's like nothing else mattered.

He held the little sleeve in which the two strips were now saved, and delicately placed it on the pocket inside of his jacket, so ironically over his heart.

Not long after, they were on the line for the roller coaster which they had agreed would be their last ride before they went out to eat at this Mexican restaurant she loved that wasn't too far away.

She had always hated the long queues at amusement parks, the wait making her body catch onto just how sore her feet were or how her back begged for a resting place but it was easy with Alex. They would get caught in conversations so quickly, effortlessly flowing through topics and stories, making the forty minutes of wait seem shorter.

He had asked for them to be seated in the front row, having to wait for five more minutes before they got the instruction to sit and when they did she wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans.

"Are you nervous?" Alex asked, half teasing and half worried.

Ella cleared her throat to begin explaining, "I love roller coasters but hate heights. Just a walking contradiction I am."

He squeezed her thigh to then pull on the black bar set firmly atop of their hips, "Don't worry, this won't budge."

And before she could nod the trains started moving and her eyes widened, a chesty laugh falling from his lips at her reaction. A few seconds later they were in complete darkness and then the light of day could be seen at the end of the tunnel.

Once the light hit them again, the trains started going up and she turned to him in warning. "Just so you know, I tend to laugh like a maniac when I'm scared on a ride."

"Very excited to see that." Alex was teasing her but not quite, he actually wanted to hear every version of her laugh.

Ella could see the drop coming up and suddenly she remembered the lack of protection her top provided, words spilling out of her mouth with no filter as the anticipation built up. "My fucking tits are gonna fall off this top!" She shouted through her teeth, just loud enough for only them both to hear.

In comparison, his laugh was loud, "Well I wouldn't mind seeing that either."

She scoffed, one hand on the bar on top of them and the other holding the fabric of her strappy top to her exposed chest. "Of course you wouldn't you cheeky– Fuck!"

The car dipped faster than she expected and she closed her eyes for a second after her curse flew out into the wind. He was laughing beside her, making her laugh with him and as the trains went up and down, a funny feeling on her stomach made her giggle away uncontrollably.

The ride ended after a brief minute of ups, downs and tilts to the sides, and as they came to a stop at the loading bay of the attraction, Alex turned to ask her, "You wanna go again?"

In all honesty, he didn't want to make another almost-hour-long line but the whole time he had been looking at her and hearing her in the ride, and he selfishly wanted to experience it all again.

"If the line wasn't as long, then I'd say yes. But maybe next time yeah?" Ella replied, patting his cheek before the worker lifted the security bar and they got out.

They had laughed at her reaction on the way back to the car, the sunset creeping on behind them. She gasped at the colors in the sky as she opened the car door so she stopped to take a picture before getting inside.

"Got it?" The singer asked softly with a small smile on his face.

"Mhm." She nodded, shy smile reciprocating his.

And then they drove as she sang to the songs from her phone. Smirking when 'Suck It And See' came on shuffle, "Oh what a lovely coincidence, isn't it Turner?" she had said before singing along to his voice booming through the speakers.

He had only shook his head as he looked at the road but whenever he turned to see her singing to her heart's content, with the pink and lilac casted behind her as the sun fell slowly to kiss the horizon, he took a mental picture of it all. Not because of nature's wonders but of her, in all her glory, she was far more captivating than any of the most stunning skies he had ever seen.

"A picture would last you longer, Turner." Ella played, feeling his burning gaze as she scrolled through her music on her phone.

His cheeks heated slightly from being caught, "It would. Quite gutted I'm driving right now."

She blushed but leaned into the console to get closer to him and kissed his cheek, "Your memory better do then."

When they stopped at the restaurant, she came out of the car with a bounce on her step. "Oh thank god! I was starving." she admitted, holding his hand as she rushed them into the place. When the tune of the bell greeted them inside, two heads turned and were quick to say 'hello' and sit them down.

"Alright so," she started, clasping her hands in front of her on top of the table, "My guilty pleasure is Mexican coke and I'm just so lucky that we always have it here in the south so we're getting some first. It's so much better than the American one, far sweeter."

He hummed at her, thinking back to remember if he'd ever had Mexican coke but barely even remembering the last instance he'd had a can of regular coke. So when someone came back to take their orders, the first thing she asked for was two bottles of Mexican coke along with carne asada tacos and chips with guacamole.

They ended up ordering another pair of Cokes to wash down the food. She desperately wanted one to nurse the numbness the hot chili sauce had left on her mouth and when the two new bottles were left on the table, she thanked the waitress and quickly enclosed her fingers around one of them.

Condensation dripped down her palm and wrist, as her swollen red lips found purchase around the tip of the bottle. She took a long sip, her throat bobbing up and down as she swallowed the carbonated liquid. Alex suddenly wanted to be the bottle, to feel her lips on his in any way he could, to feel them around him. There was nothing he wouldn't do to be in the place of that damn bottle.

It was about an hour, the time they had spent at the restaurant. They paid—he did, despite her arguing with him about it—, and they were on their way back to the venue shortly after. When they got to the theater, they parked by the back entrance and ran inside seeing they only had fifteen minutes left before Alex had to be on stage.

He got waved over by one of the sound guys, telling him they needed him to check his in-ears before it was show time and he promised he'd be over soon, the man leaving after telling him where they were gonna be waiting for him.

She blushed at the tension in the air, she felt it so thick over her like the humidity after a hot summer rainfall. So shyly she held his hand, rubbing her thumb on the back of it. "Thank you for today." her tone was so timid, it made his need to kiss her shyness away even bigger.

He gave her a soft smile, so genuine that it melted her. "I should be the one thanking you, darling. Had the best day."

Someone in the distance shouted his name, and she could've bet money on it being none other than Matt 'Cockblocker' Helders. But before the drummer could've come to completely ruin the moment, she took it in her own hands to seal the day with a golden ribbon.

With a tinge of courage she started, "Well, happy Valentine's day Al." and before he could say it back, she was standing on her tippy toes and pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

For merely a few seconds he felt her plush pink lips on his, they were soft and hot, still a bit swollen from the hot sauce. They were seconds that felt like an eternity but way too short for his own liking. Just that moment felt like it had caused a domino effect that somehow provoked a new universe to be created in space, a new black hole to be born and suck everything around it.

She practically ran off before he could do anything else, following the signs that guided her towards the crowd where she knew Breana would be, like every other gig in the past days.

Matt yelled out his name once again but Alex was just standing in the middle of the hallway staring at the wall with the sensation of her lips still pressed against his.

"What the fuck are you doing just standing there like an absolute melt?" The drummer asked with a frown on his face, watching the clock ticking on the wall in front of him.

Alex sighed, wishing time would stop just so he could sit on the feeling and replay the moment over and over until it was permanently engraved in his mind, frame by frame. "Matt, would you just shut up?"

"What? Was the date bad or–?" Matt inquired, teasingly and ready to annoy his best mate.

The singer sighed and cut him off before he could continue with his taunting, "Shut up Matthew." To which the drummer frowned when he saw the big smile breaking out on Alex's face as he turned around.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

After the band got off stage, they all got back in the tour bus and when the lads had finished taking turns to shower, they suddenly decided it was a night worthy of some wine.

Four bottles of red wine later, Ella found herself giggling away as she rested her head on Alex's shoulder. Their cheeks were flushed due to the alcohol and she felt like she was about to start sweating but she couldn't find it in herself to peel away from his side.

Not that Alex wanted her to, that's why his arm was firmly stuck around her waist as he kept her cuddled into his side. He would pinch her side when she made a dig at him, and rub soothing circles on her stomach over the satin of her top when she would laugh or snuggle further into him.

It was nearly three in the morning when they all started to quiet down and he noticed how Ella seemed to have fallen asleep on his shoulder, face hidden on the crook of his neck.

He couldn't find it in himself to wake her up, that's why he stayed until the latest he could, watching everyone wave him goodnight before disappearing up the steps. Eventually, his eyes started closing as he felt the exhaustion catching up to him. He rubbed her arm, up and down until she started squirming under his touch.

"Darling, shall we go to bed now?"

She mumbled something, her lips brushing against the base of his throat, making him almost shiver.

"Should I carry you to bed?" He suggested, his fingers pinching her side softly as he continued, "Huh? Lazy."

She groaned, "I can walk Al. Just–" she paused to yawn behind her hand, "Gonna keep my eyes closed though, so just guide me yeah?"

He nodded, "Alright." So he did what she had asked, saying "Step, another step, last step." his hands around her waist as he walked behind her and guided her back into the bunk beds. When he slowly opened the door, he noticed Jamie and Nick inside their bunks, snoring away peacefully. Bre and Matt were nowhere to be found but he could bet they were on any of the other beds from the room that followed the one they all slept at. At least they are considerate today, he thought.

When they were in front of her bed, he brushed her hair back and away from her face. "We have arrived at your destination, darling."

She hummed slightly in annoyance as she now had to open her eyes to slide into her resting space. "Thank you," her eyes opened just a tiny bit, hissing at the light hitting her corneas. "Fuck, that's bright."

His chuckle made her smile, a loopy grin before she slid into her bunk. "You comfortable?" Alex asked as she slithered further inside the bunk.

She sighed content to finally be in bed, "Very much so," she poked her head out, squinting to see him and decided she was sleepy enough to not care about what she did anymore so she leaned into him to give him another kiss. A peck that ended up being delivered to the corner of his mouth but he wouldn't complain, not when her voice sounded so mellow when she said "Sweet dreams, Al."

And they were sweet dreams, the ones he had, as he fell asleep with the whole day playing on his mind in a never ending loop that he wasn't getting tired of, and the feeling of her lips on his haunting him.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella woke up the next day with another headache and a long list of questions. The memories of the previous day helped lull the ache in her skull but it only added to every single one of her inquiries and worries. She had no idea if things would change or if it would stay all the same.

That was answered sooner than she expected when she went out to meet everyone after brushing her teeth. It seemed like it all was the same but different at the same time, because he still told her good morning followed by a kiss on her cheek but whatever she felt about the things he did before had grown exponentially, and it was like her stomach was flipping on its own over and over.

It happened throughout the whole day, her insides melting at every single embrace, the kisses on her cheek or her temple, the laughs in her ear. And Alex wasn't too far behind, feeling his insides coat with warmth when she would hug his waist every time he came beside her and threw an arm around her shoulders, the way she'd play with his fingers as she chatted with the guys, how she would brush his hair out of his face when the strands got in his eyes.

They had driven back to Los Angeles that morning, meaning they had arrived at the venue just in time for lunch and they weren't planning on doing anything else other than stay in the greenroom until showtime.

After their meal, the band had done a quick soundcheck before the show. Bre and Ella, cheering for them, playfully telling them they could do better and doing silly little dances that didn't match the songs at all.

Back in the greenroom, they had started drinking and playing truth or dare. Ella had rolled her eyes but agreed to participating, despite being nervous about what she'd be dared to do or say.

It was Nick's turn to choose someone and that person ended up being Ella. Her sigh was heard by the whole group, making them laugh.

"Ella, truth or dare?" The bassist's eyes indicated nothing but trouble.

She sipped on her margarita before choosing, "Truth."

Nick paused for a few seconds before he straightened up and smirked, "What was your worst sexual encounter?"

She blew the air out of her mouth dramatically, "You wanna know the worst worst one?"

Everyone nodded along with Nick, all curious to know.

"Okay, erm– Fuck, alright. Just be ready 'cause it's really bad." She started, putting her drink down on the closest table. "A little preface though, this was back when I was confused and seeing if I actually did like men or if I was just a lesbian so bear with me."

She cleared her throat before she could start and took a deep breath, "It was sophomore year in university, we were all in Florida for spring break and I took the chance to just... Y'know," her cheeks reddened at the thought of saying her motives to her friends, "Fuck around." she finished quietly and they all laughed making her face heat up even more.

"Anyway, so I found this guy at the beach who was really hot and he ended up buying me a drink and whatever. Long story short, he told me he had a room in this hotel across the street and we had both been pretty obvious about our intentions so we went up to his room." They all saw how she grew impossibly redder as she reminisced, "So we got down to it..."

Breana interrupted with a gasp, "He went down on you?"

Ella just shook her head, "I wish." The words left her lips before she could think about them and everyone chuckled at her bluntness. "We were just getting off for a while, you know, dry humping and whatnot until we got to bed." She sighed, grimacing at what was coming next. "We took our clothes off and all, he put a condom on after I asked him to and then he started going at it. Only that he never went inside me..." She trailed off, her voice rising in pitch as she got more embarrassed.

"He was on top and we were basically in missionary, but when he went to, erm– put it in, he just put it between my ass and the bed and started thrusting. Mind you, I wasn't making a single noise because I was genuinely confused while he was moaning like a mad man." She turned to grab her glass back up and take a swig of it, the tequila pushing her to finish the story. "He finished so quick and had the nerve to ask if I had finished, I just stood up, said 'no but probably the duvet did', put my shit back on and left him."

Jamie whistled, "Mental."

Matt had the deepest frown on his face, "How do you not notice it's not in?"

"He said something about that being the reason he doesn't wear condoms as I walked away." Ella shrugged, before taking another sip of her drink. "Thanks to him I almost entirely gave up on men."

Breana snickered then, "Oh, but do tell who gave you back hope."

"That's for you to find out if I choose truth in another turn." Ella winked at the model with rosy cheeks, bluffing as she definitely wasn't choosing truth then because one sex story was enough for the day.

Nick interrupted then, "Alright Ella, who are you choosing now?"

"Jamie." She decided after a few seconds of internal debate. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." The guitarist uttered, taking a sip of his own drink.

"I dare you to reenact for us your favorite position." She had a smirk on her face, wanting to tease the man just for the laugh.

"Can't do it alone though." Jamie argued just to see if that would get him out of the dare.

But to Jamie's dismay, she pointed at the man standing right beside him, "Well you've got Alex right there don't you?"

When Jamie dragged Alex to the settee and pulled him on top of him as he laid on it, the rest of the group started hollering, Matt wolf whistling as Alex hovered above Jamie's lap in a cowgirl position, swinging an imaginary laso above his head.

"I see the vision, Ella." Bre approved playfully between giggles which got her giggling too as she went to retrieve her polaroid camera.

She pointed at the two guys on the sofa and ordered them, "Stay there, I'm taking a picture of this." as she turned the device on, and ten seconds later the shutter had gone off and the picture was getting printed out.

Matt took the opportunity, seeing as Jamie got off the sofa leaving Alex sat there alone, to dare Ella to do the same using Alex as her partner. "Go on then Ella, it's your turn to show us yours."

"Says who? It's Jamie's turn to choose." She chatted back knowing exactly what Matt was trying to do.

But before she could continue, Jamie clocked onto what the drummer was doing and egged her on. "I choose you and you're doing that same dare."

She rolled her eyes, cheeks growing more flushed despite them being already pink from the alcohol. Her legs hit the sofa and she laid on it just like Jamie had done, only she pressed her feet on the settee but before she lifted her hips up, she grabbed Alex's hand and guided him on top of her.

He was about to tease her, about to say 'Oh so you like being on the bottom?' when she knocked the breath out of his lungs by saying, "Hop on, you be me." loud enough for everyone to hear and gasp in shock.

Once Alex was on top of her, she pushed his hands to be just above her shoulders so his chest was almost pressed against her and his collarbone was straight on top of her face. She lifted her hips up and pressed them on his ass for a quick second, winking at him before dropping back down.

Matt was quick to comment, with a heavy smirk on his face. "Oh she is dirty."

Nick followed, "Naughty!"

And Jamie topped it all off by asking, "How long have you been thinking about that one? You worked that out with Alex really quick."

She hid behind her hands, her palms feeling the growing heat on her whole face. "I'm never drinking with y'all ever again."

Everyone laughed away, even Alex but he did it in her ear as he dropped further into her fully sitting on her lap.

"Uncover your face for me darling." He ordered with such a raspy voice she wanted to squeeze her thighs together but she couldn't so she just did as he said. He smirked, pulling back a few inches to see her from that angle, all flustered and with her hair disheveled over the settee. What a stunning view.

"That's it." His eyes looked at her adoringly and she felt like she was melting onto the settee under his gaze, but Ella completely froze and burnt over at the same time when Alex whispered to her, "Good girl."

As if he hadn't just said that, he got up and walked over to get another cup of whiskey. She was left gathering her thoughts on the sofa, head all scrambled and her very human needs screaming at her to do something about the man.

She got up eventually, Breana winking at her as she walked past her and to the table which had the bottle of tequila. She needed a shot, or two. So she poured them and downed them instantly, needing herself to calm down.

After that moment, it felt like everything had gotten even more intense. Maybe it was the sexual tension suffocating them whilst they were in the same room and she wondered if their friends around them could feel it too.

Alex would come up behind her and hug her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as he rubbed circles on the skin that showed in between her black dress pants and her shirt. Ella would relax in his arms, drowning in his scent as she indulged in the sweetness of his touch.

He would press kisses to her face before he went anywhere, brushing his fingers on her arm or her waist as he walked past. She would turn over her shoulder to see him and scrunch her nose at him before leaving a peck on his cheek that made a toothy grin break out on his face.

She was drinking it all in, knowing that the next day, when her coworkers from the crew came over to the venue for the gig and later on they moved to the place they'd film at, she would force herself to distance herself from Alex just to appear professional and not have everyone talking and asking questions.

That's why that night, she was in front of the barricade beside Breana recording every single bit of the gig that her phone allowed her. He had noticed, of course he had, since he spent most of the time on stage looking at her so he decided to tease her for a bit.

"You ready? You recording?" Alex asked into the mic with his eyes on her and everyone in the crowd looked to their left to see her.

Her eyes went wide like a deer caught in headlights so she just lowered her phone down with her signature pink cheeks.

He wanted to coo at her, "No, no. Record this one, it's your favorite." The singer added before he put the mic back on its stand and started playing 'Teddy Picker'.

She had recorded it all and when she went back to see the videos before falling asleep, she found every glance he took at her forever captured, every point of his finger as he sang, every little dance of his that she knew where the one's she had made fun of him for. She had it all.

And just as she had predicted, the next and last day of the little tour had arrived, making her wake up melancholic. She savored every hug, every feel of his lips against her skin, every graze of his fingers on her body, before her bosses and coworkers got to the venue.

When the Focus Creep crew arrived, a few hours before the show, Alex instantly noticed the change in her behavior and he knew why that was, so he would respect it. He kept to stolen glances and fleeting touches, no constant kisses on her cheek or her temple, no hugging her every chance he got but definitely some embraces here and there.

The limited affection had already sparked questions and talks from her coworkers so he understood her position, which he had heard in echoes and passing comments, and on top of that was Ben who attentively was watching them and then smirking at Alex like he knew exactly what was happening.

Ella had decided to be a part of the crowd that night, standing almost in the middle of the crowd, about five rows from the barricade but she had a perfect view of the stage so she wasn't complaining. Some of her friends from work stood beside her and Breana did too, they all had a drink in hand, sipping absentmindedly as they waited for the show to start.

When they had all finished their drinks is when the band had gone on stage, causing the sea of people to push forward and make her stumble. He had found her in between all the faces fairly quickly, winking at her before greeting the audience and starting the gig.

She knew by then that the sixth song was always one he would sing looking at her since she loved it, so before they were due to start it she puckered up and blew a cheeky kiss to him when his eyes had landed on her.

He smiled before puckering up himself and blowing her multiple kisses. Bre shook her by her shoulders and shrieked in her ear very not subtly, making her wince inside but her smile couldn't be brighter and she couldn't care less if her work friends had seen, because she was incredibly happy.

She was sure by the end of the night she'd grow the courage to properly kiss him. Finally.

So with that goal set in her mind, she kept going about her night with a smile and a skip in her step. She had a beaming smile on her face even as she picked her blue clipboard and saw the massive list of things she had to make sure were in order for the shoot.

The location in which they were filming had only been ten minutes away, and they had come to it almost ready. There was a car which looked the exact same as the one on the Black Treacle music video and about twenty feet in front of it, by the end of a dirt trail, was a circular spinning platform that was homing a drum kit made to look exactly like Matt's on stage.

Around the place were tents in which Matt and Alex were being touched up to be ready for filming, and two tents down the row from the lads were the models getting their makeup done and changed into costume. Caroline and Arielle were the lovely models and Ella had just introduced herself to them before she got called away by one of the camera men.

When Ella went back to the tents to check up on the models, she walked past Alex and Arielle chatting away a few feet away from the tents and beside the big lights that were up around the site, soft smiles on both their faces as they dove into conversation. She felt a small pinch in her chest, one that she decided to ignore the best she could because Alex was a nice person, he was kind and welcoming and she had no reason to feel and react that way at the fact that he was only talking to someone else who she had heard was his friend.

Her feet took her to check up on Caroline who was almost ready, and Matt who was getting his hair fixed. She instructed both of them to go back into the filming area as soon as they were done so the filming could be started.

After that she left to go stand beside Nick, talking to him about random stuff like how long it usually took the crew to set up shoots like that or how Nick had been doing with the wedding planning as she'd heard him on the phone in the morning with Kelly.

When the four people who were gonna appear in the video were ready, Ella told them to follow her up to the directors. Ben and Aaron told them they would rehearse a few goes before properly filming the whole thing, since it was a single-shot video and it would be filmed by Alex and Matt at the start.

First went Alex and Matt, to get instructed exactly what they should do when they got in the car and how they got out, the musicians brainstorming the things they could do whilst they filmed themselves in the car.

As they went over and over again, for about six or seven times, Ella had been standing next to Arielle. They had been talking about lots of things: Arielle's modeling career, Ella's photography hobby, how Arielle had been auditioning for a few commercials and small acting gigs, how Ella had moved to LA and a year later landed a job with Ben and Aaron. The girls had gotten on fairly well, following each other on Instagram and laughing about the things Alex and Matt were doing in front of the camera.

After that, Ella got called over as the two brits got let off after almost half an hour. Matt had gotten off the car and gave her a smile, Alex side hugged her quickly before walking off with the drummer. She had smiled back at him when he let go but he missed it as his eyes were set on the model standing a few feet behind the PA, his smile being directed towards Arielle rather than her.

She had had to act cool, as if that minimal detail wasn't begging to claim her every thought, nodding as her bosses told her to stay close and annotate as they gave instructions to the crew on set.

Someone drove the car back down the dirt trail, Ben guiding the two cameramen on the angles he wanted to be captured and the setting on the light. Ella had helped move some of the lights, her eyes focused on Aaron as he moved his hands from side to side and sometimes rotating them.

Her eyes had slipped in Alex's direction a fair few times and she had noticed just how much closer Arielle and him looked, as they didn't leave each other's side even if she got called over by the makeup department or he was called over by Ben to ask if he was alright with that angle and the timing.

By the time she was done with the lights, Ella had gotten sent to check if the platform was spinning correctly, she pressed the button and as she heard it turn she also heard Alex's voice a tad louder than the creaks of the spinning object.

"So have you got a map?" He asked Arielle, his shoulder brushing the model's.

Arielle frowned with a smile on her face, "Of LA?" The singer nodded quickly, "No I don't, why?" she had asked back just as quickly.

"Just wanted one 'cause I keep getting lost in your eyes." Hiss tone was cheeky, and Arielle let out a bubbly laugh. Her perfect smile on full display as she nudged Alex's shoulder with hers.

"That was a nice one." Arielle had replied back, still smiling hard at him.

Ella had spun the platform back around by the time she had heard the end of the interaction and she rolled her eyes before walking back to the directors. She couldn't be annoyed though, she had no right to be, he was probably just being funny like he always was.

Breathe in, breathe out, she told herself.

As the directors went over to Nick to tell him exactly how he'd be sitting in the back between the two models, Matt came to stand beside Ella. Her eyes were glued to the scene in front of her as Arielle was still very much stuck beside the singer and he was leaning into her more and more making her laugh.

"Seems like you make a great matchmaker." lightheartedly joked the drummer, looking at the same thing she was.

She frowned, confused as she turned to Matt, "What do you mean?" Matt pointed at Alex and Arielle with a tilt of his chin and she frowned even deeper before adding, "It wasn't my decision to choose her."

It was Matt's turn to frown then, "Whose was it then?"

"Well I was told by your team she was selected by you because you already knew her."

Matt sighed, "We've seen her a couple times in artists sections in festivals, yes, but the only one who was a slight bit more of an acquaintance with her is Alex."

Ella hummed, "That answers the question then, doesn't it?" She finished up, a tight lip smile that was way too forced and Matt started to feel bad. It got worse when Arielle broke out in a very loud laugh that had Alex covering her mouth with his hand, fully hugging her as they swayed from her weak attempts to break from his hold.

Ella's heart was sinking, but she had to remind herself she had no leg to stand on to go and complain about his behavior, to be openly jealous about it because nothing serious had happened between her and Alex. At least not serious enough for him, if he was going around acting this way with Arielle after being so close with her the week before.

Ben called everyone to their places, meaning Ella saw Arielle and Alex separate for the first time in thirty minutes. She had no idea what to think anymore, the way he was acting with the model reminded her how he was with her and she hated it.

She tried to push it in her mind that he and Arielle were friends already, so maybe there was a trust to act that way with each other. She tried, but it did nothing to the way her guts twisted at the image of those two together like that.

They did one take but something had seemed off from the cameras, the settings seemed too different from the car to the outside shot so the directors got to fixing it up the quickest they could after they yelled cut.

Out of the corner of her eye she had caught Alex and Arielle leaving for the furthest tent and getting behind it, her giggles could be heard as they walked away from everyone and she slowly felt like she was going to be sick.

It took about ten minutes to get it all sorted out, Ben's voice called everyone up again to start filming again and everyone listened. Aaron called the models in first, giving them a second rundown of their duties and how they should get in frame. As the director talked, Alex had walked over to Ella and hugged her from behind like he had gotten used to throughout the tour.

Ella hadn't want anything more than that, as she had been deprived of his touch for a fair while since they had gotten to the set, but when she tried to relax into his chest and rest her head on his shoulder, she had smelt the model's perfume and it had make her freeze in her spot. Alex had felt her tense up but brushed it off, his mind too aware that he had the attention of two stunning women and it had gotten his ego boosted up a little too high.

She didn't reciprocate the embrace like before: only one of her hands on top of his, her back inches apart from his chest, her head not weighing down on his shoulder, no kisses on his cheek, no cheeky glances or nose scrunches. But he didn't really wonder about it since he was too busy staring at the other American girl that was dressed in costume right in front of him. A few seconds later, he got called over and he easily let go of Ella, leaving her with a faint squeeze of her waist.

She had noticed how enthusiastic he got every time he was able to get back beside the model, always a smirk on his face as he kept brushing shoulders with her or whispering things in her ear before he got in the car for each take.

Alex was looking amazing for the shoot as well, meaning Ella could see Arielle so painfully obvious checking Alex out and him doing the same to the model when she turned around.

It was probably the twelfth official take they had done, almost running off of the flares the models walked with to the drum kit as they kept repeating the video over and over. The new song that she had already learned the lyrics to, now completely engraved in her mind since they had it playing on loop with almost no breaks in between each play.

The question now replayed in her mind, bringing back memories. Are you mine? His gaze stuck on hers while singing the chorus. Are you mine? Her wink after she sang 'are you mine tomorrow? Or just mine tonight' that night at the very last gig, making his smirk grow and a tinge of blush show on his face. Are you mine? His eyes no longer on her now, but stuck on Arielle even when he had her in his arms. Are you mine? Ella just wanted to turn the song off to stop it all coming to the forefront of her mind.

They were about to start the thirteenth take, after the directors went over the last bit of footage the last take had given them, when she walked past the quiet place Arielle and Alex were cooped up in. It was near a corner, behind a line of four big lights and away enough from everyone from the crew. Ella had been walking around the site, the edges of it taking her straight behind them, and that's why she had heard them.

"I've got another question..." Alex had started with that tone that meant he was gonna say one of his cheesy flirt lines and Ella just had to stay and listen to what he'd say, she thought her head was cooler by then and she might find it funny but she had no idea what she was about to get. "How does it feel like being the most gorgeous girl in the room?"

Ella's blood ran cold then, the familiar words coming back to her like a bucket of ice cold water and as Arielle giggled and leaned into him touching his arm, she felt herself feeling faint.

She didn't even think about her following actions, as she scoffed much louder than she anticipated but still quiet enough for it to only be heard by her and the other two. Her feet took her faster than she was thinking, accidentally barging into Alex's shoulder as she made a beeline towards her bosses.

He whipped his head around so fast, forgetting about the model beside him and catching a glimpse of Ella's pale complexion. But his worry was brief as he turned back around to the model, who was now fully leaning into him to continue flirting with him. A smile broke out on his face, seeing Arielle's reaction.

Ella felt like those fifteen feet of walk had actually been a whole mile, her heart hammering in her chest as if trying to keep her up until she could finally break down. As soon as she got beside Ben, she tapped his shoulder. The man saw her worried face, the lack of color on it and he got preoccupied.

"Are you alright Ella?" Ben asked softly, his inquiry making Aaron pause what he was doing to check on their PA.

She sighed, feeling everything coming up her throat and wanting to leave her body. "I'm not feeling well guys, I– I, uhm, I think it would be better if I just go home."

Aaron nodded, they didn't have much left anyways and Ella was so dedicated to her job, they knew that if she was asking to leave, it was because of something serious. "Of course, you have a way to get home?"

She thought about her car, being parked at the hotel an hour away from home but she'd take a taxi. She didn't care anymore, she just didn't want to be there. "Yes, someone is coming to get me, don't worry."

And just like that they let her go. She practically ran to the Monkeys' tour bus to retrieve everything she had there, and she thanked the fact that Bre had to leave right after the show for having encouraged her to have her suitcase ready well before the gig.

Ella called a cab company and told them to pick her up at a McDonald's that was a block away. As she walked, she felt like she wanted to cry and it infuriated her even more. Because why would she cry? They weren't anything at all, a date didn't mean shit apparently and much less would the touches they shared.

She cursed herself for getting attached when she knew she shouldn't have. It all came back to who they were, even if he hadn't done what he had that night, by the end of it she'd be getting dropped off at her house and he'd be leaving to travel around the world. It would've never worked out.

When she remembered how she had strived to properly kiss him goodbye that night, before they parted ways once again, she allowed herself to let the tears fall. And she cried on the way back home, when she saw their photo booth pictures sticking out of the inside pocket of her purse.

She wanted to throw it away but she couldn't, that's what she did when somebody hurt her: cling onto every last beautiful thing they gave her even if the memory stung like a wound being sprayed with salt. She was half tempted to burn it as she lit the cigarette she had just placed between her lips before finding the pictures but when she flipped it, she found something written down.

'only the sweetest of dreams for you, miss tennessee xxxx'

It came over her how every sweet memory of him would taste bitter now, and how it would up until the moment she'd finally decide she was over it. And that's when it all started tasting more bitter, and then it turned sour and her sadness turned into anger.

The audacity he had had, to just drop her like a toy he had gotten bored of, and maybe he had had other intentions but seeing how shy she was and how he wasn't getting anywhere, he decided to change her the first chance he got.

And there it was, that feeling of being so easily replaceable dawning over her head like the darkest cloud in the sky that swore to bring the heaviest precipitation of the year. The heartache she had felt when she got cheated over by the one person she swore was the one, and it was insane to her how she could feel a similar way about someone she knew for so little doing her wrong too. But she couldn't downplay it either, not when it opened a wound back up that had taken so long to close.

In her head she was asking herself repeatedly, 'am I that easy to replace?' until each word lost its meaning but the feeling was still the same, if not worse.

She cried a little more when she got home, feeling the familiar walls like an embrace that she longed for. The tears were falling as she showered, slowly and without permission, making her wipe them with more force than necessary, leaving her cheeks red raw. But it had been slightly relieving to cry under the shower for she confused her tears with the water falling over her and it made her feel less pathetic.

By the time she was out of the shower and she slowly finished getting ready to sleep, the filming had been wrapped up. The crew were quick to pick everything up and load it into the production company's coach.

Matt walked over to Alex, who was too busy staring at Arielle's ass as she walked away to get out of costume that he didn't notice his presence until he cleared his throat.

"Y'Alright?" asked Matt, still confused about his friend's antics throughout the day.

Alex nodded with a tight lip smile, "You?"

"Wonderful." The drummer answered, a slight hint of irony in his voice that the singer decided to ignore.

The both of them had stayed quiet, watching the organized chaos going around. And it wasn't until Alex saw Ben with Ella's blue clipboard as he waved goodbye to them that he realized she was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Ella?" The singer seemed worried, it dawning on him then how he hadn't seen her since she barged into him.

Matt shrugged, "Dunno. She left running earlier and the driver said she got her case from the bus."

Alex's heart dropped, thinking about all the endless possibilities of something happening to her, "I'm gonna text her and see if she's okay."

"Well, she probably isn't after she's played cupid against herself." Matt sassily replied.

Alex frowned, "What do you mean?"

Matt sighed, almost annoyed at his best mate's lack of common sense, "Mate, there was something there between you two after Valentine's day, and tonight you've just gone and switched her for Arielle."

"No I haven't. Me and Arielle, that's just banter." He explained back like it was obvious.

The drummer didn't want to get deeper into the situation, he had already said what he had seen and all that was left was for his friend to realize so, "Whatever you say Al." was all he mustered before leaving him, going straight back to their tour bus.

Ten minutes Alex was left thinking, taking the first few minutes to text Ella and the rest to thoroughly think about what Matt had just said. He knew she must've heard him talking to Arielle and maybe it wasn't the best of things to listen to after everything that had happened during the past week but it was just lighthearted banter to him, a joke to keep them entertained during the filming process.

It was all a misunderstanding and he would tell her if that's what she had gotten upset over. Surely it has to be something else though, he thought.

(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x

(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx

(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx

(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx

(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx

Their drive to LAX had been going fine. They were relatively quiet in comparison to how they usually were but it was because they were tired: the days of tour, driving and walking around plus the late night filming had caught up to them. Alex was mixing his concern about Ella with his exhaustion making it even worse, the sways of the tour bus not helping with the headache he could feel brewing in the back of his skull.

Alex's thoughts were interrupted then by Matt laughing at his phone, the light of his device reflecting on his eyes.

(16/02/2012 23:32) Is everything good Ella? Saw you running to leave the set.

(16/02/2012 23:48) Everything is good Matt! Sorry for leaving like that and not saying bye, I was feeling kinda sick and I couldn't keep it together any longer. (Feel like a bitch for not saying goodbye knowing I'm not going to see you for god knows how long :()

(16/02/2012 23:48) Yeah probably not the best to have you projectile vomiting in the middle of our music video!! (You don't have to feel like one, you're one already xxxx)

(16/02/2012 23:49) You're the absolute worst...

(16/02/2012 23:49) HAHA love you Ellie!! Hope to see you very soon xx

(16/02/2012 23:49) Love you too dickhead. See you soon xx

Before Alex could complain about the unnecessary noise coming from Matt, he informed them all, "Ella's fine, she was just feeling ill." which made Alex snap his eyes open to look at him.

Jamie snorted then, cheekily suggesting, "Ask her if she's sure she isn't pregnant."

Leaning over Matt's shoulders, Nick and Jamie started laughing as the drummer's fingers started typing what the guitarist had said.

Alex frowned, not only at his friends acting like kids but at the fact that Ella had replied to Matt and not him. There wasn't a day she didn't reply to him within minutes if she was awake. He thought for a second then that he might've gotten a reply but hadn't noticed it, so to make sure he unlocked his phone.

But he hadn't expected what he saw, and he thought back to what Matt had said and just how bad of a confusion the end of the night had been when he was met with the proof that she had just plainly ignored him.

(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x

(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx

(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx

(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx

(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx

read at 23:41

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A/N: Uh oh... Well now I don't even know if I should ask if you liked it hahaha, but I really hope you did. Shit only gets more interesting from here so I hope you lot are just as eager as me to see how it unfolds. Thanks a million for reading, I appreciate it so much!! I hope you have the best weekend and I'll see you April 7th for the next one xx

Taglist:  @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn​ @funniestpersoninnyc​

[wangxianficrecs]

New Perspective by mrcformoso

New Perspective

by mrcformoso

T, 19k, Wangxian

Summary I: “Lan Zhan, let me go.” The last memory Lan Zhan has of Wei Ying was the soft, serene smile on his face as he fell to his death. It was, perhaps, what haunted him the most. When it came to the matters regarding Wei Ying, Lan Zhan was always too late. A character study looking into Lan Zhan’s character development between Wei Ying’s death and resurrection, and his struggles of changing in the wake of his newfound fatherhood.

Summary II: “Back then…did you ever believe in me?” That was…much harder to answer. How could he say that he thought he was being righteous, obeying the orthodoxy? How could he condense the complexity of believing in a person against their own upbringing down to a ‘yes’ or ‘no’? He parted his lips to say something, but Wei Ying had already sighed, and turned away. Too late. Again. Too late. What was the point of 16 years of mourning, 16 years of reflection, if he was going to be ‘too late’ again? Follow-up piece to New Perspective. Can stand alone, but reading the previous fic is highly recommended for some of the points that will be raised.

Kay's comments: A lovely exploration of CQL Lan Wangji's sixteen years of grief, mourning and character growth. Part one takes a look of all the places where things went wrong in the past and how Lan Wangji learns and grows from those moments and especially, how he applies his new understanding to becoming a good father to A-Yuan. It's painful and it feels very cathartic. Part two takes a look at the time after Wei Wuxian's returns and how Lan Wangji now attempts his best to gain his trust and show his support and it ends with a wonderful canon-divergent ending to the Untamed, which I enjoyed very much! The main story of the series is complete, but the author teased that the might want to add a few snippets in the future.

Excerpt: A-Yuan’s voice was small. “A-die didn’t look at me.” He pouted, fat tears coming from his eyes. “I wanted to show A-die my sword forms.” Lan Zhan watched as A-Yuan looked away, looking down at his sword, sulking, and he swallowed the large knot in his throat. “Lan Zhan! Look at me!” “Lan Zhan! Look! Over here!” “Lan Zhan! Won’t you look at me?” Wei Ying used to call out to him, used to garner for his attention. Lan Zhan turned away every time, unable to cope with those bright smiles and beautiful eyes. He ignored Wei Ying, and walked away. Lan Zhan never realized how often Wei Ying called out to him until Lan Zhan was completely dropped. When Wei Ying stopped reaching out, when Lan Zhan realized that he would have to be the one to put in the effort to see him, when Lan Zhan had to go out of his way for it.

series, pov lan wangji, the untamed canon, major character death, canon divergence, grief/mourning, introspection, character study, flashbacks, fatherhood, loss, angst with a happy ending, hopeful, angst and hurt/comfort, implief/rerenced suicide, jealousy, pining, misunderstandings, miscommunication, golden core reveal, love confessions, getting together, trust issues, cynophobia, @mrcformoso

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[paperandsong]

I present a list of 16 Underappreciated fics with recommendations in the authors’ own words, taken from responses to this post: Unloved Fic Tag Game. Most are Phantom of the Opera fics, but there is one from Rebecca and another from Elisabeth. Take a chance on these hidden gems - many authors say these are their best work. They were written with love. 

Remember that it is never, ever too late to give kudos and leave comments on fics - no matter how old they are!

All Imaginable Pangs by @les-gnossiennes-fantomatiques​: It’s a pre-canon Leroux fic set towards the end of the 1860s, told from the point-of-view of a well-to-do Parisian courtesan. Do you like people talking about art and the nature of creating things? Do you like angst about growing older and not feeling at home in your own skin? Do you like lots of incredibly awkward smut and romance?

Annard Noz by @paperandsong:  Little Christine and Raoul roam around Perros-Guirec collecting stories until a vexed old woman frightens them with the legend of the Laveuses de nuit. I wrote this for the Légendes rustiques project which uses French legends recorded by George Sand and reimagines them as stories Christine and Raoul may have heard as children. If you like folklore you might be interested in this series. 

Beneath the Winter Snow by @pianomanblaine​: I wrote this story for the Advent Calendar a few years back. It was the first fandom event I participated in after picking up writing again a few months before, and the response I got made me feel very welcome here. It’s a simple and very fluffy oneshot, and I had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope people will have fun reading it as well.

The Day My World Crumbled by @nerdywriter36​: It’s a Nadir/Rookheya fic, which is definitely a rarepair only familiar to those who know Susan Kay’s book. It was basically just a way for me to flesh out part of their story that had been plaguing my mind for a while that needed to get let out.

The Dead Are Gone, They Don’t Come Back by @conquerthenight​: (Mind the tags) Normally I cringe when reading my own writing, but I have yet to do so for any of this series. I would recommend this series to: anyone who wants a reason for Ileana to be so unconfident and scared other than “she just is”, anyone who either wants Maxim redeemed or wants any insight into his POV because the fourth work in this series explores his POV, anyone who wants to read from Rebecca’s POV (the second work in the series is from her perspective), anyone who read the novel Lolita who would’ve rather read from Dolores’ POV instead of Humbert’s, and anyone who believes recovery fics help them cope with trauma.

Digging into the Youth that is you by @enigmawritesstuff​: What you get is a dynamic that deals with trauma in a healthy, heartfelt and loving way, that makes you feel seen and touched. It helps me feel that there is hope that one day you'll be understood as you need, or want, to be, and that's okay. To need someone to help you stand sometimes. Which is why this phic is actually quite dear to me.

A Fierce Inequality of Love by @shinyfire-0​: My most underappreciated fic is the first fic I ever wrote. I wrote it in the late 90s or early 2000s, back when fandom was brutal and people gave vicious reviews if they didn't approve of a fic. This was one was castigated because (spoiler!) Christine does not stay with Erik. I love the tragedy of the man, and so I LOVE a tragic ending for him. And maybe, despite the fact that she escapes him, it's a tragic ending for Christine, too.  Anyway, this one came straight from the heart.

Les Flambettes by @textsfromthefifthbasement​: I think it's probably not as popular due to the archive warning and the fact that it sounds like an R/C fic. But it is a horror story involving the trio with a braided structure alternating between past and present. Part of the Légendes rustiques project. 

Mirrorverse Addendums by @sarcasticdolphin: I know it is a bit dense - there’s a lot of history to cover, and I want to do it correctly. Elisabeth das Musical fandom as a whole lends pretty well or being fandom-blind as it is quite close to historical fiction. 

Notre Dame des Lorettes by @catcorsair​: This is a short prequel story centered on Erik that takes place during the paused construction of the Garnier amidst the fall of the Paris Commune of 1871. Just give it a shot! It’s such a short little one shot, and frankly, I think it’s probably my best fic in terms of writing.

Our Love Brings Ruin by @battydings​: For anyone who wants to read a story about the complicated feelings that revolve around validation and being wanted/needed, but don’t mind a bit of death, this story is for you. Because more than being a story about a couple who are complicit in murder together, it’s about a woman who is willing to step over her own personal values in the name of validation.

Phantoms of Paris by @lincolnlogger​: If you're looking for a story where Andre, yes Manager Andre, gets a lot of narrative POV privileges, you've come to the right place. If you want Erik facing his past head-on via therapy sessions, you've come to the right place. If you want Nadir hanging on by a thread, you've come to the right place.

Philia by @brendadaaedestler: One of the main characters featured in the one shot is a character from Susan Kay’s novel, which [you] not many have read, though you don’t need to have read Kay’s novel to understand the one shot. You would probably like [it] if you enjoy reading fluff content.

Unexpected Variables by @meilas​: Beauty and the Beast 2017. I thought it was funny when I came up with the idea. I actually don't care if anyone else reads it or not.

Vainement, ma bien aimée by @illuminaughti-online​: I think "Vainement" might be my best-written from a technical sense. Also? I genuinely like these kids, as well as the folklore and a nice creepy setting. Give Baby Raoul a chance and you might wind up rooting for him after all as he tries to come to terms with the fact that the world is a terrifying place and that Christine intends to plunge into it headfirst regardless. Part of the Légendes rustiques project. 

You are Music by @apileofpans​: If you like E/C/R getting together in a healthy way with a healthy dose of communication and understanding between the three of them, this is the fic for you! There is a scene between everybody one on one and I just… GAH!!!! It’s like a wonderful hopeful fic with promises to come, it’s just like. Comforting in a way!!!

photo by @shinyfire-0​

[messydiabolical]

Mass Effect Qs: 1, 5, 16, 30, 36, 37, 45, 67, 76, 79, 95, 101

Thanks for the ask, you mean business! *cracks knuckles* okay let's do this (link to all the questions) 1) How did you get into Mass Effect? 2013: Spouse gifts me a copy of me1 on steam. I, according to steam, played 61 minutes and decided it wasn't for me and uninstalled it 😅 2021: I watch Jessie Gender do a letsplay and enjoy it a lot. I buy Legendary in a sale deal. I am hooked. 2013 me apparently wasn't ready lol (I've always struggled with non 1st person perspective games, it's probably what put me off).

5) Preferred alignment Overall paragon, though I do think some of the paragon responses are too washy/hand wavy when it comes to say, the council. I go with the in between option a lot in general dialogue. 16) MAKO: Die in a fire or best thing ever? I have to be in the mood for it, and when I am, I enjoy the MAKO a lot. Just vibing along. It helps that I play with mods. N7 MAKO for more speed, MAKO squadmate banter for more vibes, and charted worlds for easier map navigation. But even first playthrough vanilla, I liked the MAKO. I find thorough exploration satisfying.

rest of answers under cut as there are so many and this is getting long!

30) Favourite DLC mission? Mission is a toss up between Lair of the Shadow Broker (Feron my beloved) and Leviathan (probably the most fun overall gameplay wise, I like the detective aspect and the lab apartment is cool). Fave DLC is Thane's alternative outfit though. DLC of all time, all hail Thane's cool dad glasses.

36) Funniest moment in the game? Grunt falling past the Heurta lab window, Feron's sassy little "I'll try not to go anywhere" while strapped into the chair (the ultimate commited to the bit sarcasm king) and the sexually awakened salarian's email after recruiting Thane (funny and wholesome. You go you horny funky little guy, you and me both).

37) Creepiest moment in the games? The T-GES Mineral works employees on Mahavid in the Leviathan DLC telling you to leave, you don't belong here etc. Especially on first playthrough when you can't be sure if they might turn on you violently or not, and will you have to fight these poor brainwashed civilians? In a similar vein, the Reaper IFF mission with the vids showing the workers sharing memories and their growing confusion.

45) Best Villian in the series? The leviathan

67) Who would you cosplay if you could (no holds barred)? The biotic God would be fun

76) What are you hoping from ME4? That they take their time, are well invested and the staff treated respectfully so that they can produce something with love and care *crying thumbs up* I just hope they don't rush through some money grabbing shit show. Storywise the skies the limit, there's a whole universe to explore, have fun with it, do something new, respect the old, and heck if you can throw in more drell that'd be neat.

95) Do you mod your games? Heavily. My MAKO answer probably shows that lol. Herobrine24's modlist is a great base for modding I'm always checking it.

101) If you could meet Shepard, what would you say? Can I offer you an egg in these trying times? In seriousness I would just want to offer them some food and a nap.

[americanrecord]

what religious inspiration did you use for each character? and are they currently religious in the series?

(i notice you reblog a lot of imagery)

<333

hiii <3 omg there must be a religious zealot on the loose, just saw an ask like this!! but i love the question as religion, in a way, is like the centerpiece of this work. at least for half the characters.

side-note, one of the biggest things to me about these characters was fitting them into the pre-existing historical context, so it’s why i’ll make a lot of historical references here and in the text. it’s important to me that these characters feel like they existed in the time period i designed them to, and not like i was just dropping them there and saying: stick! i’m also really interested in religion for an atheist, so…i was carefully to put my energy and extensive research into fleshing these out!! this got so long…

so i’ll start easiest — kit knows no god and owes no god, he’s atheist & religion doesn’t play a role in his personal philosophy in the slightest. he is, however, a gay man in the 1980s/90s, meaning other people will project their religion onto him.

but it’s not something he pays mind to. (or any extra mind to, as—for example—lex would). he faces the world with two middle fingers, but it’s ignorant to think he wouldn’t be affected by half of society opposing how he loves. he was kicked out of his parents house at 18 for his sexuality, and it definitely was based on religion, but they were also reaganites, so that says enough. he was also already on his way out; kid with a calling for punk wasn’t gonna last in a “just say no!” household. [also, as an italian-irish man, his family was catholic, and regan did win half the catholic vote (majority of those being white, thus…)]. anyway, no religion.

inez’s parents are both puerto rican immigrants, where 75-85% percent of the population is roman catholic. thus, she was raised catholic, and her family still is catholic — she, however, does not adhere and never really has. she has no sort of catholic trauma or anything [no more than the average catholic]. (though, i think she does tend toward the moral black-and-whiteness of somebody raised devoutly religious.)

it was something she lost interest in early on and not necessarily something her parents forced on her. one thing about inez — you aren’t going to tell her how to think. her parents knew that, her parents love her to death but openly acknowledge her as an odd one out, so they didn’t put their energy into that anymore than they did anything else. it led to a fair bit of distance, but so did inez pursuing art, and that definitely caused a larger rift than inez no longer attending mass after the age of like 15-16. i do know she’s confirmed, but it was more of a going through the motions thing versus some big coming-of-age, world-ending moment that it was for valerie. thus, no religion materializes in her imagery/vibe because she doesn’t revere a god.

she is still spiritual, however. honestly, if anybody were to get into things like astrology, crystals, tarot — anything like that — it would be her. she doesn’t, but some might assume so because she has very 90s whimsigoth feel. she’s not even extremely spiritual though, she just thinks there is an afterlife and a higher power (somebody watching over), but she doesn’t know what. agnosticism therefore might be an interesting concept for her. she does treasure things like meditation, and nature, and kindness, but not even because she’ll “go somewhere bad if she doesn’t” but because she finds it personally beneficial to her life and her own happiness.

steven: jewish! he’s jewish and he’s proud of it. this being more from an ethnic standpoint — he’s an ethiopian jew — because he’s not super strict otherwise/religiously. i think he definitely kept kosher growing up (his family still does), and he tries his best to in his adult life, but he’s not 100% perfect all the time. this is solely because of his life’s context — being a starving artist and then a traveling artist for most of his young-adult life, he would sometimes take what he could get. he still, however, avoids pig meat and stuff from the hindquarters of an animal (not that he’s getting many expensive steaks early in his career), and he washes his fruits and veggies throughly (inez shoved these down his throat) — not only for the kosher aspect of it, but because not washing your fruits/veggies is gross.

he also wears a silver star of david always and celebrates hanukah and observes other jewish holidays, if only casually. he might spend time with his family during these times. inez made sure to set up a menorah on the window sill beside the christmas tree. i really like to think post-series, into domesticity, it’s a lot easier for him to abide by the rules and customs of his religion, but i do think he struggles with a bit of the faith-based aspect of it as a gay man. still, he’s proud of his heritage and religion.

again, atheist. like kit, he really has no interest in religion, but he does take up more of a philosophical approach to life than kit does. when he’s miserable, we see a little bit of nihilism and misanthropy peek into the way he views the world. but he acknowledges no spirits or gods or really any presence of a higher power (or an afterlife beyond the ones that most people just casually reference in conversation — i.e. saying/thinking your dead mother is watching over you even if you don’t actually believe in heaven, just because it’s a comforting thought.

his father is white, basic protestant (but died in vietnam when dean was like two so nobody cares), but his mother is syrian. she speaks arabic and did bring this cultural influence into dean’s life—but she was also not muslim (was raised so) so much as she was spiritual. by the time she got to america (one of the things lex and dean bond over were their immigrant mothers), she was much more interested in the wide-open topic of “religious freedom” and just experimenting and learning about all of the faiths the country had to offer. evangelism, islam, judaism, hinduism, buddhism, catholicism, pentecostalism, all the isms, you name it — every branch. dean cites that his mother would “change her religion every week” because she liked to sit in on different services and hear the messages, visit booths at craft fairs, talk to strangers, etc, because she was just fascinated by humankind and their tendency toward higher power more so than she was finding one for herself.

the day dean and lex met, she was sitting in on a service of lex’s father’s. lex came out of the church afterward, saw dean sitting in the lawn (because he never really tagged along), and recognized him from school so he approached him, and…history from that point onward. it was this respect for religion without the ownership of religion’s oppressive tendencies that lex sooo loved about dean’s mother. she was a very comforting mother figure to him. dean’s mother also had him when she was 16, and right about the counterculture/summer of love time, so she just very much had a open mind to everything + faced everything with love. she was very supportive of dean when she learned he was in love with lex.

but, anyway! dean shucked all of that the moment she died. very much said to himself that none of her religions could save her so he therefore had no interest in pursuing them himself.

born and bred in the backwoods of indiana before moving to detroit, lex was raised in an iron-fist evangelist household. the fourth great awakening had a grip on the foster family and took up every aspect of his life. still does, in a way. his father was a reverend at a local matchbox chapel in indiana before they moved for…reasons, and then became involved in something a little more consolidated/concrete in the city, but he’s a preacher’s son through and through. and it’s funny that his father married a russian woman, because he is the stock character for what you think of when you think red scare/mccarthyism/nixon-era silent majority/bible-banging archie bunker/jesus freak, but that’s another topic of conversation (his father’s tendency toward pursuing what he opposes so he can subjugate it).

thus, not only was lex raised in a household that breathed the fear of god into everything (including all forms of media (even the comics lex loved as a child) and therefore lived a very oppressive, very unhappy, very dreary (some might say totalitarian like the conditions his mother escaped after fleeing russia post missile crisis) childhood, he was also raised in an abusive household. so there was the mental hell of borderline fundamentalist christianity and also the physical abuse of his father (and the neglect of his mother when it mattered). it was a miserable childhood until he made a friend in dean at age 14.

thus, realistically, one can imagine the effect this has a on a person, and lex found himself unable to let it go. he is still religious and will always, but in his own way. in his very specific, very cherry-picked, very very personal way. he rejects common christian principles of homophobia, bible-based racism (just racism in general, but you know what i mean), anti-choice politics, strict creationism in schools, and the subjugation of women. he’s very violently left-leaning politically, is very out-spoken about it, and it’s quite obvious in the way he carries himself that he has a very progressive state of mind despite what he was instilled with. he also could not care less about other people and their religion, meaning — he’s not one to impose. valerie, naturally—while catholicism falls under christianity—arrives into his life with common religious trauma but a few different beliefs because protestantism =/= catholicism. there are differences far beyond the imagery and far beyond what they’ll ever see eye to eye on, solely because they were force-fed different things.

still, he struggles. he acknowledges there is a god, but he feels betrayed, he feels at times abandoned, and he feels always watched regardless. he has a very strict moral code as seen in somebody religious (albeit one skewed) and he struggles with things like honesty, right/wrong, and just a sense of balance in general. if he’s not holy and justified, he’s immoral and evil. this is just the consequnece—plain and simple—of being hated not only by your father for seventeen years of your life before being ultimately kicked out for failing to fulfill the standards of a golden son he never will be, but being told — in conjunction — that god hates you too. there’s a constant war between: yes, i know god hates me and well, i hate god too, and the subsequent desire to please god that comes from the first and the subsequent guilt of blasphemy in the second.

he won’t ever let go of this, but he will find god on his own terms by the series’ end and will settle his soul in a way that doesn’t tear him to shreds to do it. it’s all he wants/it’s all he prays for — to have god in peace. because of that, religion absolutely permeates his vibe. he’s tattooed up and down the stretch with reminders, he wears his cross, it’s major fodder for his art, because there is nothing that makes him hurt like religion, but there’s also nothing (besides LOVE!) that makes him feel to such a degree, and he’d rather put it on track than he would keep it in his head.

and it’s very special to me for him to be able to do this, likely coming from a family with crazy evangelicals, and it’s really rewarding and fitting for his character to come to a healing place within his religion and to be accept that he doesn’t need to live like his father did because all he needs to do, really, is love his neighbor and accept the presence of jesus as his savior. (sounds so religious, but it’s simple). his religion is his problem and he never makes it anything else.

okay, i’ve arguably put the most thought into her. just because her story has been carefully tailored by me for like three and a half years now. i walked on to the scene with the desire to make a catholic character because i watched supernatural just like any other middle school girl, but it was never just about vibes and rosaries, i had a genuine interest and i have no real attachment to catholicism—so it was just a passion project to learn enough to write about a character who deals with it so in-depth.

so, yes, she’s catholic, but she fluctuates more so than any other character on whether or not she adheres to it. she wasn’t strictly raised this way either. not at first. it was a loose presence in her home until she was 13. after which her father left her, and her mother went off the deep end. she took the catholicism they already had and had her own sort of “reawakening.” valerie tells lex that her mom went crazy after her dad left, and when he asks what she means by that, she simply answers that she found god. (however, in truth, she rediscovered god). so valerie went from a very carefree, happy childhood, to an oppressive and incredibly impoverished religious household after losing her father’s mild intervention and financial assistance.

everybody knows at this point that she lived in a trailer, but she’s also the victim of a hoarding mother who notoriously quit jobs that paid in pursuit of “church service jobs” where most of her money went back to the church and the community. valerie resents her for this, saying it was lovely that they children at the drive had new coats, but that she was going without dinner at home because her mother did not routinely buy food. valerie’s aversion toward contamination comes not only from the filthy environment she was raised in, but also the fact that most of her food was not fresh (and, if it was, would spoil quickly) and was boxed/canned food and at risk of bugs/mice/or botulism. she would skip meals frequently because of this and owes her survival to free handouts at her high school — a difficult feat when she was always on display while dating danny, her quarterback football star boyfriend, who was notably wealth(ier.)

anywayyyy, so beyond the financial aspect that caused valerie to resent the solace her mother found in god and prayer, there was also the principles of the religion itself that were hard for her. her mother basically engrained in her that she was going to need a husband if she ever wanted to escape the life she’d been given (the life her mother was always making worse). she had the “sit still, look pretty” upbringing, and it made an abusive romantic relationship very difficult to leave because she was essentially told her entire teenagehood that it was the only way she was getting out of financial hell. it made being a woman difficult, essentially. she’s objectified and victimized throughout her formative years and she’s essentially told men will have their way with her and that they’re allowed to. it takes a lot of unlearning and it causes her a lot of fear, but it’s what makes her relationship with lex very important to her, because he preserves her autonomy and never encroaches on it (even when he hypocritically, strongly insists against using hard drugs lol).

but she makes it to seattle and is in state where she hasn’t really fought her religious trauma yet. lex’s is a constant battle; valerie, on the other hand, has mastered the art of repression. the last time she attended mass was the sunday before she left and she never looks back, she keeps her rosary in a drawer, she doesn’t pray (at least not until i give her reason to), and…yeah. that cross necklace is really the only mark of a “religious” girl, but she labels wearing it irony. and then the series persists, her life and her experiences muddle, and she’s forced to confront what she hasn’t and/or what she’s written off. she hasn’t actually answered any of the questions on whether or not she believes in god, and if the problem was god or the way god was thrust upon her (aka: would she be open to a higher power if it wasn’t diluted by backwards modern christian thought?). she gets to combat her catholic guilt and the sort of shame and guilt that follow her in her pursuit of hedonistic pleasure, which is aplenty in the life she lives, and she gets to cope with the ramifications she imposes on herself when hardship falls upon her — who she blames for issues out of control (herself, her mother, her father, god?).

needless to say, then, she will struggle much more than lex in terms of closing out those big open-ended questions in the sense that she doesn’t. it’s an ambitious task to untangle somebody’s religious crisis, and an unrealistic pursuit to believe she can do it in 4-5 years to perfectly fit the series after a decade and a half of hell. she might always be wondering whether there actually is a god, but she won’t fear the unknown. it may comfort her enough for lex to say that there’s no way he’s getting into heaven if she won’t, therefore at least they’ll be in hell together, which—if they’re together, then it isn’t hell. but she’ll make great strides in terms unlearning the principles of shame, guilt, male objectification, male entitlement, and the forced repression/servitude of women in religious spheres, which is more than enough of a start. she leads a lot freer of a life by time she reaches seattle and she’s practically unburdened (despite her wondering) by the series’ end.

thus — lots of imagery for her, because her religious crisis & it’s ups and down are a major part of her character’s personal journey & always have been. always will be.

thanks for asking!

[mrbensonmum]

TV Show - Dr. House | House M.D. X

So, we're still in the fifth season but we're already on episode 16. We just found out, after a shocking cardiac arrest with House, that he's on methadone and actually doesn't need Vicodin anymore since his leg doesn't hurt anymore.

Episode 9, "Last Resort," is now behind us, and I mention this episode on purpose because it's one of those that ranks relatively low for me. Yes, I can understand the dude with the gun quite well, but just shooting around isn't a solution, even if there are countries in this world where people live who have a different opinion. Besides, Thirteen suffers too much here. Yes, it bothers me because I simply like Olivia Wilde and her role, but it's also annoying because she already suffers enough due to her illness. Strangely, this is often observed in series, that there's always a character who gets a lot of suffering. In Star Trek: Voyager, for example, it's Harry Kim, or in CSI: New York, it's Danny Messer. If I think about it more closely, I'm sure I can come up with more examples. In House, it's only occasional and not spread throughout the entire series, since Thirteen isn't there for the whole series, but it's still noticeable.

Episode 12, "Painless," I also found interesting because we have a kind of mirror image of House. Only in the basics, but still interesting enough to see where House might end up if things continue like this for a few more years. Sure, both characters are fundamentally different in character, please don't get me wrong, but here you can deduce a lot of things that we will encounter in the following seasons. Maybe one could even go so far as to say that this episode is a key experience for much of what follows, which brings us back to the episode mentioned at the beginning. Because precisely because they are so different, and House maybe doesn't want to end up at this point, he does all the things that are still to come after this episode.

Let's come to the episode mentioned at the beginning, "The Softer Side." House has a cardiac arrest right in the office, while it seems like he's taking a nap. Everyone is worried, and the immediate assumption is that he's taking heroin. After dinner with Wilson and House's subsequent confession, it becomes clear that it's even worse because he's taking methadone. After throwing away his cane, he just walks away. What immediately strikes me here is the fact that although he's pain-free, as he says, he's still limping. Which makes sense, because the muscle in his leg is completely destroyed. But the strange thing is the limping, because a few seasons ago we had a similar case where House was pain-free and he could walk normally, even though nothing has actually changed about his leg between these two incidents.

Cuddy must then confront House with a cruel choice, but House chooses painlessness, even though it's much more risky.

What is also addressed in this episode should not be ignored! It's about a baby being born with both male and female genitalia and being forced by the parents to grow up as a boy. The episode is from 2009, so it's still quite early for such a topic, kudos for that! However, you shouldn't listen too closely to the parents of the baby because it's repeatedly shown here that the child itself has completely different wishes and needs than the parents dictate, hence my statement about coercion! I also think that Thirteen acted completely correctly here, not regarding the suicide story, but definitely regarding the "vitamins"! It's even the second time this topic comes up. We already had a "teenage supermodel" (female) who suffered from hermaphroditism, resulting in an unusual form of testicular cancer being detected too late.

Yes, there's also the relationship between Foreman and Thirteen, and you could talk about that for a lot of words, but I find the whole thing actually relatively uninteresting. Even when they wanted to outsmart House! Where did Foreman work in the past few years? Outsmarting House? On the way to not becoming like House, he becomes more and more like House, which can also be seen in altering the medication for Thirteen. What happened to the study actually?

We mustn't forget about Cuddy, of course, as she now has her daughter named Rachel. On one hand, I'm happy for her, but on the other hand, I can also understand the patients who have been driven nearly insane by the baby's crying. Yes, I understand why this was done here, to trigger symptoms and lead House onto the right track. Nonetheless, I find Cuddy's behavior simply unacceptable, because to call in the middle of an operation with a crying child in her arms and not hang up is outrageous. Yes, children often cry, and that's just part of it, but I find it simply unacceptable behavior, and I really took it against her that she didn't hang up after Rachel cried so intensely!

Since I'm watching on Prime, I can see directly which episode is coming next, and there we have the patient who always tells the truth due to a condition and practically has no filter between thoughts and speech. Also very interesting, because you often wonder what absolute honesty and openness could look like. Here we get a taste, and personally, I think it tastes quite bitter sometimes. Sure, you shouldn't lie or gossip and talk about others, but that's something completely different!

[life-in-the-monster-haus]

Hey there! Just dropping by to say that I'm glad there are people like you who stick up for Gil! ^-^

Much like Apple in Ever After High, Gil tends to be grossly misrepresented in the fandom that even just having a positive opinion of him (or heaven forbid, liking him as a character) seems to cause folks to start coming down with their pitch forks. 🙄 Like he's 16 and is a product of growing up with terrible viewpoints, calm down lol. (And sometimes if you've been raised that way for a long time it's usually difficult to unlearn those harmful beliefs, it's a long and slow process yet these people act like Gil never tried/did throughout G1's run?? Whut.)

Your media analyses are well thought-out and thorough (shame a lot of the more rabid haters might just brush it off with "I ain't readin all that" 🤡) and I'm glad you're not letting it get you down despite it.

Keep up the good work!!

Oooooh! Well aren’t you just a big sweetie!

I’m so glad some people appreciate how much work I put into my Gil media analysis! I poured my blood, sweat & tears into that series by combing over every piece of media Gil was in to bring the people the truth!

However the truth comes at a price, someone who I thought was pretty cool kept bitching about it being so long & “messing up the tag” that they blocked me over it… I told them they could do it but it still hurt a little.

And I’m sure there is a lot of folks laughing at “how seriously I take a kids show” like… I’m not gonna be sorry thinking children deserve good media!?!

IDK, but I think I did too much all at once & burned myself out. I needed a break so I was gone for a few months just letting the queue update for me but I think I’m ready to give the Gil saga an ending! There is not much media left with him in it.

Thank you for believing in me! Your kind words are very much appreciated!