#they might be adults but they are human too
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Do you have any recommendations for alpha Stiles fics? 😊
Thank you for all that you do!!
Hey :) Try these ones. They are all amazing!!
Rare Books and Special Collections | 15.2K
Derek is a grumpy omega writer, and Stiles is an annoyingly attractive alpha special collections librarian.
No Vacancy by KaliopeShipsIt | 34.9K
29-Year Old Omega (muscular/scruffy/perpetual sourface) Seeking for Alpha-Baby-Daddy. Might or might not be named Stiles
Of Debutantes and Dashing Dreamboats by missmagoo | 10.6K
Derek is a debutante.
Stiles is a cocky party-crasher from the public high school.
Emancipation by HarleyJQuin | 144.4K | Mature
There are legends that in times of approaching chaos the Nemeton will create an Alpha Pack.
Derek has no idea that the worst day of his life was the start of the best thing that ever happened to him. Abandoned by his family, his mother, his alpha, as an omega Derek remained with his comatose Uncle Peter, forging what bonds he could with two humans who fully accept him for who he is. A werewolf.
Not Your Typical Alpha by halcyon1993 | 10K
Derek is an unusual alpha. He doesn’t want some omega to hang off his knot but to hang off of someone else’s. The only problem is that no other alpha is willing, until the new dildo he orders is mistakenly delivered to his neighbour.
Courting by dragon_temeraire | 3.6K
Stiles has always been loud and impulsive and kind of clumsy, and Derek never suspected he could be like this, soft and sweet and contained. Focused.
He likes it, though.
running with the wind by thepsychicclam | 15.4K | Explicit
Derek’s been running and hopes he can find sanctuary in the Stilinski Pack’s territory. The Alpha isn’t the strong sheriff he thought he was, but a sarcastic awkward teenager that Derek finds he kinda hates.
In this Darkness (It’s You I Hear) by Kedreeva | 9.9K | Mature
Deucalion bites Stiles on the way out of town, and Derek finds him in an unexpected condition….
When the Tables are Turned by BeniMaiko | 16.6K | Explicit
Derek has to deal with a newly bitten Stiles.
Price of Admission | 6.6K | Explicit
Derek gets caught trespassing on Stilinski pack territory. Stiles takes an interest.
Welcome to the Pack, Omega by alisvolatpropiis | 4.7K
“Derek Hale is a wandering Omega looking for a pack to call his own. When he comes into Beacon Hills, he’s intercepted by the local pack. They take him to their Alpha who Derek is expecting to be an older werewolf. What he’s not expecting is for this kid that can’t be more than 20, with the smirk playing about his kissable looking lips, to be the Alpha. Needless to say, they don’t exactly get off on the right foot. But, Derek thinks later that night, he could easily find his home in Beacon Hills with Stiles Stilinski and his pack.”
Chocolate & Pomegranates by Dexterous_Sinistrous | 9.6K
Derek has been an Omega for what feels like centuries. He is constantly hounded by Alphas and Betas who can’t control their hormones. He’s thankful for Laura defending his honor, but there is one person he’s always dreamed of giving himself to.
Too bad Derek is certain Stiles doesn’t know he exists.
hold my hand (it’s a long way down) by Chosenfire | 3.5K
Derek has no intention of ever going back to Beacon Hills, but a call from Scott changes that. When he gets there, Derek finds something unexpected.
And I Thought I Had Problems by zosofi | 60.1K | dropbox
Werewolf!Stiles deals with nefarious soul-sucking witch spells, Scott’s inability to be a fully functioning adult, Danny’s incessant need to make everything about sex, and finding out that his mate is Derek Hale. Tuesdays suck.
(I Ain’t Scared of the Fall) I’ve Felt the Ground Before by planiforidjit | 41K | dropbox
Derek is sick of being treated like he’s property and he’s sick of his family pressuring him to find a mate. So the obvious solution is to fake a relationship with Stiles Stilinski, the annoying lacrosse player and alpha that Derek may or may not be pining over anyway.
The Alpha to My Alpha by CupcakeGirlA | 10.7K
“Derek will kill you. He’ll tear you limb from limb!” Stiles says, scrambling away from him. The Alpha ambles closer.
“No, I don’t think he will,” the Alpha says. “I mean aside from killing a couple of hikers in his territory and doing him this favor, I haven’t really done anything to Hale. Once I’m gone he’ll probably be happy with the gift I’ve left for him.”
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ciel & sebastian w/ servant!reader around ciel's age ✧・゚
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Hello! My writing blog was always meant to be multifandom, but recently I have had many twst requests. To keep up with my personal interests, here is a Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler post about my childhood bias/crush (when I was 11-12): Ciel Phantomhive.
While this post is tagged Sebastian x Reader, their relationship is platonic in this particular work because of the reader's design.
Please note that while requests are open, they will not be posted until after the 27th of December or more accurately into the new year (January 2025). Feel free to request anything within the parameters of my rules, but keep this scheduling fact in mind! Thank you!
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Summary: [Name] is a recent addition to the Phantomhive Staff, gathered by Sebastian and Ciel. They are around Ciel's age and this leads to some... shenanigans.
TW/CW: canon-typical darkness, manga compliant
Notes: pre-relationship (Ciel), explicitly platonic (Sebastian), the reader is human, the reader is 12-13 years old, they/them pronouns for the reader, take place explicitly pre-Campania
Guest Stars: Phantomhive Staff, Elizabeth Midford (mentioned)
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✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚:
Ciel Phantomhive
Ciel is initially indifferent to [Name] similar to his feelings toward his other servants about half of the time (even Sebastian).
He doesn't see himself as a child so does it matter?
He honestly tries to avoid [Name] at first because he wants to be seen as an equal to the adults. Baldo commenting to "play" with his "friend" really doesn't help the early stages of the relationship.
Being persistent but not forceful will work well.
[Name] needs to prove their worth and use in the household.
[Name] will quickly prove themselves with "clean-up."
They will kill in the name of Earl Phantomhive.
Ciel notices their willingness to serve.
He admires their dedication to protecting him/the estate.
He is impressed if they do not hesitate to strike.
The more he realizes their use and loyalty, the more likely he is to speak to them or even allow [Name] to speak freely with him.
He doesn't like when Sebastian teases him for it, though.
Sebastian might be the biggest obstacle.
If Ciel feels that [Name] is being overbearing, they get sent to spend time with Finny (16) who is also relatively close in age to them. Though Finny is similar to a child brother at times.
Once they are closer, Ciel may become a bit irritable if [Name] gives Finny too much attention or coddling.
"He needs to act his own age."
Ciel cannot do anything about any possible feelings.
[Name] hesitates to do anything either.
They both understand the betrothal between Elizabeth and Ciel.
Finny had given them a suggestion that they weren't sure what to do with. Was it a good idea? No. Was it a curious one? Yes, indeed. They wanted to know what the master's response would be, but they feared it would only be anger for their disrespect. Still... tempting.
[Name] considered their options as they helped Finny in the garden.
"Do you really think that would be a good idea?" they asked him.
Finny nodded as he attempted to gently weed the garden. The last time Finny did this he ripped out some important plants and Sebastian had been ready to skin him. Since that happened, and after the events of last night's clean-up, maintenance was needed and Sebastian chose [Name] as "Finny Watch."
[Name] accepted it as it was.
"I think it would do the young master some good to have a friend his age who calls him by name! He doesn't have any friends..."
Finny seemed sad about it. [Name] wondered why Finny did not try to be a "friend" to their master, but Finny seemed to sense their curiosity. He shook his head.
"It can't be me, I'm older than the young master for one," he explained, "And the young master doesn't think of me like that."
"And he thinks of me as a friend?" [Name] chose to ask.
Finny nodded.
"I can tell he thinks differently of you!"
The gardener beamed at them and they didn't want to crush whatever whimsy and joy this was giving him. They sighed and gave in, knowing they wouldn't hear the end of it otherwise, especially after Finny told Baldo and Mey-Rin about it.
"I'll try and see," they agreed.
[SEVERAL HOURS LATER]
At the end of the day, Sebastian asked [Name] to report to the young master directly about their supervision of Finny and the state of the estate's gardens. [Name] walked into the room and bowed to their lord, nodding to Sebastian a moment after.
"Good evening," they spoke, not making eye contact with either.
"Good evening, [Name]," Ciel greeted, taking a sip of his tea as he watched them, "I trust you kept Finny under control?"
[Name] nodded.
"Yes, he took care of replanting and weeding. There were no, ah, plant deaths," they explained in as succinct a way as they could, "We talked as we worked and completed everything Sebastian told us to."
They had to ignore the soft stifled laugh that came from Sebastian when they fumbled for a phrase and chose "plant deaths."
"I see, very good then."
He seemed pleased. The master was in a good mood? Hm. This might be their chance so they took it without hesitation.
"Master, if I may speak freely for a moment?" they asked him
Ciel raised an eyebrow but he nodded slowly after a moment of contemplation.
"You may but whatever about?"
[Name] felt bad for confusing him but it was somewhat refreshing to hear the master speak without that underlying darkness in his tone.
"Finny suggested something to me. I would like to try something," [Name] explained, hoping this wouldn't ruin whatever relationship they did have with the master.
"Something. Very specific," was Ciel's comment, "Go ahead."
Ciel seemed certain [Name] wouldn't hurt him and even if they tried, Sebastian would handle them swiftly like he always did.
"Ah, thank you for your permission... Ciel."
There was a silence that fell over the room as neither child spoke. Ciel was frozen in place, Sebastian seemed to be holding back another laugh, and [Name] was unsure if Finny's theory was true.
A faint hue of pink dusted Ciel's cheeks as he averted his gaze.
"Was," he began, "Was that all you wanted?"
"Yes," [Name] admitted, "I'm sorry, sir."
Ciel was silent once again and [Name] worried they really had crossed a line, but then he spoke again, softer this time.
"It isn't as though I care what you call me when there aren't guests around," he said, waving the hand that wore his family's crest, "Do as you like with the estate's image in mind... I suppose."
[Name] couldn't disguise the smile that took over their features.
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Sebastian Michaelis
To be quite frank, Sebastian thinks children are brats.
He didn't want another child around but it cannot be helped because [Name] is useful for the estate's security.
Despite not liking them at first, Sebastian is always "nice."
He is never without a polite smile, it's a bit unnerving.
As [Name]'s work proves proficient, he eases up.
They make fewer mistakes than the others.
Because of this, they are not so annoying to him.
"Child, you would do best not to hinder my work. But if you would like to lend me your help, you may."
He refers to [Name] more often as "child" or "littlest one."
He means they are the youngest of the servants.
He often lets [Name] off easy with punishment, similar to how he never scolds Tanaka the way he does with Baldo, Mey-Rin, Snake, and Finny.
Sebastian likes to make fun of [Name] and Ciel's similar ages.
He allows [Name] to sit in for Ciel's lessons at times.
In the end, Sebastian might be fond of the human.
Still, he won't say that kind of thing. What use would kind words be from someone like him? He doesn't much care for anyone.
He is bound to his master until the end of their contract.
That is all. Right?
"What in the world are you doing?" Sebastian asked as he came up to them, essentially appearing from thin air.
The young servant jumped at the sudden voice in the silence of the cellar and whipped around to face him, dropping their cleaning rag on the floor in the motion. Noting it was Sebastian, they let out a relieved sigh and bent down to pick up the rag.
"Sebastian! You startled me!" they told him, brows furrowed, "Why do you like to sneak up on me like that?"
Sebastian chuckled softly, a slight smile playing on his lips.
"I don't mean to. Perhaps you are just easily scared, child?"
"I don't think so," they said softly before they moved to continue their task, "And, I'm not done with this task yet. Did you have something else for me to do?"
They couldn't believe they had more work to do now. That was always why Sebastian came to see them, to give them a task someone else had botched or enlist their help with something else entirely.
"I did," the butler told them, "I seem to require your help with a lesson for the young master."
[Name] paused.
"A lesson?" they asked him, giving a skeptical look though they tried their best to mask it, "Would I be expected to come with you now?"
They were unsure if he was telling the truth. Sebastian enjoyed messing with them, just a little. But it was enough to make [Name] wonder every time the butler told them much of anything. They wanted to go to the lesson, though. Learning was... fun.
Sebastian noticed the look, being a demon and all, but said nothing about it. Instead, he simply nodded and smiled at them as he always did to the guests the manor received.
"Indeed. I would need you to accompany me to the study."
They weighed their options. Sebastian was probably not lying.
"Alright," they agreed a moment later, "Do I need to finish this task first? You did give me a list of things to make certain of here."
Sebastian shook his head.
"No, that won't be necessary. I will take care of it."
They almost bowed to him but caught themself. It was hard to treat Sebastian as a butler when he held himself with as much pride as any man would. Still, the one time they had spoken too highly of him, the young master had gotten upset with them (and Sebastian too).
It had been an... ordeal.
"I see. Thank you, then," they told him curtly though they couldn't help but smile.
A lesson! How fun! They wanted to cheer but didn't.
Even if they were only cleaning the room to spectate, it was a chance to learn things. They would learn something and earl was learning! It seemed like a fairly good deal in [Name]'s opinion.
Too focused on rushing to put away their supplies and head toward Ciel's study, they did not see a softer expression adorn the butler's face as he watched them move past him.
Perhaps they would never know his true affection for his littlest one.
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Imagine the rest yourself~
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Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Do NOT repost my writing/headcanons as your own >:c Check the top of my blog for the inbox status and read the rules before requesting. This is not a kuro-only blog! ^^
#kiyo cant write kuro#guest starring: phantomhive staff#guest starring: elizabeth midford#ciel phantomhive x reader#fanfiction#writing#my writing#x reader#x you#black butler#black butler x reader#black butler x you#kuroshitsuji x you#kuroshitsuji x reader#kuroshitsuji#sebastian michaelis x reader#writing blog#fanfic#kuroshitsuji headcanons#black butler headcanons#black butler x y/n
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I am in love with the vamp family!!! is reader forever going to be a young girl since she was tuned at a young age or do the vampires in your verse get older?? if she is forever young do you think it will ever impact the story?
I’ve been developing my platonic vampire lore and plan to share more soon, but feel free to ask specific questions in the meantime.
So readers mentioned being adolescent transitioning to young adult -15ish to maybe 20, totally up to interpretation (bc her exact age doesn't really change the story much). I usually imagine her as an older teenager, youthful but for the most part physically mature. If you picture her younger, her being "forever young" won't be a focus in my stories -well not like it is in 'interview with a vampire'.
While yes technically she’s frozen at the age she’s turned and won’t grow in the traditional sense, over time, the girl will just present more mature. Though youthful still, time and knowledge would give that illusion of her looking older than that age she was turned. Just by the way she holds herself, her eyes, presents herself and having a more vampiric look that changes her features a bit too. She might go from naive young teenager looking to looking like a well rounded young adult in as short of time as a few decades.
Story impact?-
My vampires are different creatures from humans, with instincts and brain chemistry that change after turning. They don’t reproduce traditionally, so romantic love doesn't exist how we think of it. Instead, their bonds are built on choice and shared purpose. Lavinia and Soren’s partnership is unusual—a deep understanding that requires effort, not romance (I'll get to their stories at some point). And most vampire families don’t mirror human ones; some have one head, others have multiple, and some function as close-knit groups.
Vampires are family-focused/ platonic love, so the girl doesn’t feel a need to mature physically to meet human expectations. Their instincts no longer factor in human goals—ideas like seeking a lover or stressing over appearances don’t cross her mind.
I do however think the girl could become angry or self conscious over people degrading (intentional or not) her bc her physical age be humans or even other vampires treating her like a child. But these would be brief moments few and far since she’s not involved with humans much and vampires tend not to focus on appearance as before mentioned.
I will say turning a kid (not a teenager/under 13) is forbidden. Younger people are rarely turned since fledglings are usually chosen for practical traits like intelligence or strength. But it's up to preference as some choose personality first, but most choose potential first, including the Beaumonts, which might come as a surprise when houses hear about the Beaumont's choosing a girl for personality.
Basically: Lavinia, would have never subjected someone she cares for to such a fate.
okay, that was longer than I expected, but I hope to clean up my lore and create a little fact page soon. Plz let me know if there's any plot holes I haven't thought about🙏. Also, thank you for the love ❤️ and an excuse to start ranting about my version of vampires.
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Prompt 118
Everyone is freaking out. The titan tower was broken into, no signs of who it was, and Tim- Robin- is missing. There’s blood on the walls, taunting them, implying that Tim is going through agony, and they can’t deal with another dead Robin, they can’t-
Meanwhile Tim is bemused, maybe a little concussed because that would explain things maybe, as he’s found himself in a living room full of books and there’s a pair of kids too? One is straight up adoption bait- wait no there’s three, with two of them being adoption bait and the third being a redhead. There’s a trio of small children there already playing by the couch he’s been bundled into.
Where the heck is his mask- or his bo staff or any of his supplies- is that the fucking Red Hood?! No, couldn’t be, must be the concussion, because why would the Red Hood be feeding him a bowl of soup?
#prompts#dcxdp#dpxdc#Jason found lil tiny fenton siblings before he started some of his attacks#Pit latched on just as much as he did#He's a broody halfa whose ghost logic is that Tim is also his baby now#Baby took/shares his Name so therefor is part of his Fright#Is Jason a tad feral? Maybe#Are the rest of them twice as feral?#Oh definitely#Tim might have a concussion and is very confused because last thing he saw was red#Don't worry he didn't get beat up#The blood was a mixture of human and animal#The Pit when Jason is thrown in: Omg a baby#The Pit: My baby now let's go make sure you're healthy by scaring the humans and havin fights#Jason: *confused halfa noises*#Jason: I am an adult but also baby but not too baby to not adopt these smaller babies#De-aged Fenton siblings with only bursts of memories: Yeah that seems about right#Concussed Tim: But I already avoided adoption before.... :(
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ppl too scared to make them ugly freaks
#might tweak these a bit but like cmon#too many ppl make them hot#theyre WEIRDOS!!!!!!#smiling friends#smiling friends fanart#charlie smiling friends#pim smiling friends#charlie dompler#pim pimling#human smiling friends#human charlie dompler#human pim pimling#adult swim#fyp#artists on tumblr#rickrackpaddywack
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it's so funny to me... looking at video reactions and content about the anime of Erased and realize how many people felt like... idk. cuckolded? by the fact that Kayo did not end up with Satoru in the end, but with Hiromi, the boy who also would have died if the timeline had not been reset.
and like. some of my amusement comes from like... my own ignorance in not realizing that would be a reaction. because like. Obviously. We've been in Satoru's shoes this entire journey and it felt like, especially in the anime, Kayo and Satoru were having these big meaningful moments. like. how could that not be a romance? even though Satoru repeatedly is like 'I am 30, I'm not catching feelings in this situation, what am I doing?'
which I took as like. "Oh, he's inhabiting his little 8 year-old body and also has not had social connection in a long time and is just... having emotions. and Satoru's story is about learning to care and feel again. because adult Satoru had shut down so much due to the trauma of both losing so much in his youth and having the adults around him cope by basically refusing to deal with it and shutting it down. Returning to his childhood before the trauma is reawakening his ability to connect, trust and feel again. Which is something adult Satoru is as confused and unfamiliar with as child Satoru would be with a crush so it reads very similar."
but I also like. ran out of episodes at episode 9, then read the manga, then got like... really really invested in what the story had to say about trauma and the cycles of abuse and silence and well meaning cruelty and convenient victims and patterns of violence and community scapegoats and justice and how people act to preserve face and the justice system and like... the anime picked one thing in the manga to focus on and it was Kayo. and it did that thing like... really really masterfully. it made Kayo's story so heartrending that people forgot almost entirely about everything else. but like. the manga is about like... multiple other subjects of which Kayo features predominantly but like. The character that Satoru is freaking out about having been killed in his flashbacks in the manga is Hiromi, because Hiromi was his friend. It doesn't change the fact that Kayo is very impactful, but the story doesn't revolve entirely around her. So the fact that Hiromi and Kayo found love instead of death, but many anime viewers seem to forget entirely that Hiromi is also a would-be murder victim, is because so much of the non-Kayo story is just... not present or altered.
And even stuff with Kayo because like. She came back after being taken to her grandmother and helped them with the investigation and protection of Aya, the other potential murder victim that goes to a different school.
Honestly sometimes I feel like even people who talk about the anime ending being bad vs the manga ending, miss the parts of the manga that the anime changes. The anime is very excellent for what it is as a stand alone piece, however since it had adapted so much out of the manga to make itself a stand alone piece it didn't give itself an ending that matched what it had created. The anime had devoted itself entirely to the Kayo aspects of the story because they evoked such strong emotions, but the ending... isn't about Kayo. because in the manga, the story wasn't about Kayo. the thing that seems kind of funny to me is, they were stuck with 2 episodes to wrap up a fat chunk of the manga. They were always gonna have to do an anime original ending. They *could* have just gone balls to the wall and gone completely original and played into the fact that they'd been focusing on Kayo the whole time. Not necessarily "waits for him the whole time" but something that puts more focus on her to give more emotional catharsis to the audience. Instead it went with the option no one was happy with and did a limp noodle fast adaptation of the last chunk of the manga with no character development or deduction or planting from the rest of the anime because half the scenes that made any of it make sense got cut.
And now everyone remembers Erased as that great anime with a terrible ending. which sucks because the manga honestly really has a lot to say about a lot of topics. And the anime is artistic and beautiful as hell. but like. the fact that so much of the message is fully not like... either adapted or perceived by audiences or like. Ignored. feels like a sign of something kind of frustrating...
Or I am overthinking big time. That's. I guess a possibility. It might not be that deep, but I think it is. there just might be a level of clumsiness in its execution sometimes, but I think the themes and messages are still there...
#inane ramblings#i have too many thoughts#boku dake ga inai machi#the town where only i am missing#erased anime#like I get the idea of thinking Kayo is a romantic interest sort of#but also like I'm pretty sure he's just learning how to have human connections again#because he's never coped with his own trauma and is emotionally stunted#and just literally doesn't know what friendship feels like anymore as an adult#that might be generous but he seems genuinely unfamiliar with kindness
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I would say you’re more of a Mr peanut butter type yeah
doggy doggy what now?
#sci speaks#i love mr peanutbutter.#i think i love especially that eventually people stopped liking him.#cute quirky doggy winds up being a JERK actually just like the rest of us.#i love him and i love that.#really need to rewatch bojack actually because i don't remember it very well but god do i remember Loving it.#i think it's probably the best adult animated series i've ever seen. just. like. i don't know. it's the kind of writing that i really love.#where all the characters are bad actually. and you think they might be outwardly put together but they're not.#bojack is a GREAT SHOW. depressing but great.#i can't even like recommend it to anybody i'm like. yeah. it'll depress you. sorry. but that's why i like it.#i like those kind of ugly sincere emotions that make me feel less alone for being an asshole sometimes.#not in a “haha this character i like is an asshole so i can be an asshole too” kind of a way but in a .#i shouldn't despise myself because this is just part of what it is to be human i guess. you'll mess up and make selfish choices.#we all have that same software and i don't know. makes me feel less alone. i love to see that nobody else has it put together either.#it's not just me floating in the world with no direction.#it do be why i hate people who point at a character and say “BAD ROLEMODEL!! why aren't they PERFECT??”#get out shut up i hate you.#try living LIFE for five days maybe.
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they call me the griever because halfway through a thing I enjoy I’m already sad that it’s closer to being over
#blue chatter#trying to work on not doing this#and just enjoying the thing in the moment#this happens to me a lot with school breaks and such#like ‘oh I love being on spring break but I’m sad bc I’m already 3 days in’#‘oh I love summer vacation so far it’s too bad it’s already a month over’#and I’m like NO!!!!! blue!!!!!!!! you’re missing the point!!!!!!!!#you have the joy *right now* and you are SPOILING IT bc you’re too busy looking ahead to when it will be gone!!!!!!!!!#it happens with friend visits a lot. it’s less bad now but it still happens.#like. the first time I visited friends over spring break I woke up in the early morning of the last morning and just cried#because I only had a few hours left before I had to get on the plane home#and I start hurriedly stuffing seconds and minutes into my mouth and refusing to swallow#because maybe if I just cling extra hard then the time won’t pass-#but it does pass. and that’s okay. and I know that’s okay because life had more joyful things after that moment#had I stayed there on that day I would have been frozen as a much more miserable person#my friends themselves would have been very different people#I mean. fuck. between then and now two of us figured out our genders. both of them got married. they moved somewhere else now.#there’s a lot of little joys that got left behind there. a church they loved. a local park. mountains and windy streets.#but I wouldn’t hold ourselves there. which I try to remind myself when I start crying about lost time again#because yeah. this will end someday. human lifespans aren’t infinite.#but the future is full of life I still have to live. there’s no saying that I can’t have good things again.#and this period of my life is rapidly rushing towards a much more uncertain future and I know that and it’s scary#I know I have about 11 months to make several very adult decisions that will determine a lot of my future#but no matter what I choose this period of my life is not wasted#and I don’t need to hurriedly optimize every second and mourn losing them#and I know that. and I still feel sad and mourny. but that might be more indicative that I’m hungry or smth.
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guy who looks up "house party" on wikipedia and googles "what is a house party like reddit" before going out
#ahem. not that i am doing that or anything. i am sooo normal i have had many typical adult human experiences yes#i don't even know if im gonna go.. i might get too scared and it's not like i rsvped a definite yes.....
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My favorite part of being alive is that I've never felt welcome in any space except for that one year when I thought I was a non-binary bisexual asexual girl when I was 13 :)
#Before that I was a weird kid whose only source for human communication instructions was the shows on CN Nickelodeon and Disney XD/Channel#And even though I had friends I never felt loved enough#And AFTER that I realized I was more of a trans guy and that I don't trust women enough to know if I could be in love with one but that#maybe I like men but I can't know for sure because I have the bad habit of falling for any guy who pays attention to me for long enough#And I haven't felt included in queer spaces ever since I realized I wasn't any sort of girl because people in here seem to hate men a little#too much for me to feel safe being anything but a gnc emo girl#And not even getting started on being gay cause people on online spaces that I'm around often act like “girls and the gays!!” as if I'm#effeminate and flamboyant just for my sexuality when truly I'm heavily uncomfortable doing anything deemed as girly#vent post#And even the thought that I MIGHT be a straight trans guy makes me feel horrible cause so many queer people seem to hate straight people#Like hi did you forget that this place is supposed to make people feel safe and respected and proud of being themselves#Oooh and don't forget the autism! Cause I get why people complain about the diagnosis being only for cis white boys but like#I've literally never seen that. Ever. I'm not saying it doesn't happen I'm just saying that it's much harder for me to find any sort of#online diagnosis tool for someone who's not an adult or a parent or a cis woman than it is for me to find any for a girl#Like seriously man#And how I feel like I'm a horrible person for not having g empathy. DUDE I HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO KNOW ABOUT#like chill I'm not automatically a murderer and rapist and toxic and manipulative just cause I can't put myself in someone else's shoes#I'm just a guy who hardly feels alive or human. Of course I'm not going to reel very much about a stranger when i feel like I'm not supposed#to be this person in this place in this body in this mind. I don't feel like I'm here I don't feel like this is me and I don't feel like I#can care about other people and I don't know why but I'd really appreciate it if I could get yk some support instead of feeling like I#deserve death#anyway i'm normal
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Warning- this is a very petty post, but I think I'm entitled to at least one petty, pissed-off reaction every time I finish a classic novel that hit harder than I expected so take this as my quota for the year.
Also spoiler warning for a book that came out over a century ago but still, I didn't know the plot going in so don't want to ruin it for anyone else, if you haven't read it shut your eyes. (Also Local Tumblr User Going Wild Over Book Published a Hundred Years Ago That Everybody Else Already Read should probably be categorised as akey part of indigenous tumblr culture at this point).
Anyway I just finished the War of the Worlds and in between studying I've thinking about Themes and Motifs as you do, and idly looking for further analysis. I then accidentally ran into an article called 'A Quiet Place II Succeeds Where the War of the Worlds Failed' and:
Now I haven't seen any of the Quiet Place films, this is not a rant against them and of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But re: the ending of The War of the Worlds, I have to ask, did this guy somehow miss, uh, the entire point of the book or am I just utterly insane?
#You're right it's not very satisfying for humanity that the invaders are foiled by a bacteria and not human action! Maybe that's the point!#Maybe it's supposed to be FRIGHTENING and make you ask questions about what humans will do under extreme stress#Not be a morally uplifting tale about Humanity Heroically Defeating the Martians in a Glorious Hollywood Ending#Maybe it's MEANT to be unsatisfying because this is not a straightforward fairytale#I mean I've only read it once and don't know much about Wells' work so I might have misunderstood the point of the book too#But at places it is a very pessimistic view of the human condition and that's partly WHY IT'S SO POWERFUL#That doesn't mean there aren't moments of individual acts of heroism (the Thunderchild for example)#But the question is not just 'how will humanity beat the Martians and prove that we're still the masters of the universe'#Rather 'a) why is humanity so confident that it's ultimately in control of its own destiny#And b) here's lots of scenes of societal collapse and of people pushed to the brink and what would YOU do in those circumstances?#Would YOU feel remorse about silencing the curate even if it did lead to his death?#What if it rather than a foolish adult it had been a small child?#And even if they were weak did they DESERVE it? Yes it might have been necessary but should it be policy going forward?#Would you also be attracted briefly by the certainties that the artilleryman's (rather fascist) plan seems to offer so humanity survives?#But what sort of humanity would that be if it DID survive and is it worth it? The narrator feels he needs to justify the curate's death#The artilleryman would have probably never have thought it was anything OTHER than justifiable or indeed laudable#Under strain and stress would you start to turn against even your loved ones and become brutal?#Is that the only hope for human survival beyond complete surrender? And was the destruction of London maybe even 'cleansing'#In the eugenics sense or in the sense of a natural horror of dirt and germs?#And the vast exodus of six million people fleeing headlong in panic - we might not have seen that exact phenomenon#But didn't the twentieth century subsequently go on to show us unprecedented scale of slaughter and refugee movements and communal strife?#At the end of the day what really separates humanity from other animals? And what separates us from the Martians?#It's not an uncontroversial book- it was written over a hundred years ago for goodness sake and there are questions worth asking#about the way imperialism and arguments about eugenics and population control and all sorts of other dodgy areas operated on Wells' mind#But dear God I really don't think the problem with the book is that 'Humanity didn't save the day!'#Unsatisfying ending? Yes. A FAILURE? No not in my opinion- looks like it was exactly what Wells set out to do#Humanity didn't win the war of the worlds they had a narrow escape and though it might not be martians next time#Why wouldn't disaster return in the future? Sure we've studied their flying machines and even preserved a martian in a jar#But for all our science what have we ACTUALLY learned that will enable us to avert future human catastrophes? Ethically or socially?#Alright rant over- as usual my opinion is not universal nor necessarily well-informed this take just really got my goat
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idk I had a very interesting therap today but I just
like it's all very well to recognise that I gotta have a fucking open-ended breakdown and jump face first into the Sadness Bog sometimes instead of sitting on all my feelings
but like
I still have to go to work, you know? it's like. ok yeah have a breakdown which like until you jump into it you don't know if it's going to last an hour or a year. yeah go ahead that's all grand. you do have to get up in the morning and go to work though. you're not allowed to not do that. or to not pay the rent or not shower or not eat.
like all my friends and loved ones are constantly like 'you know you're allowed to be sad right' and it's like. AM I??? because I STILL HAVE TO PAY RENT.
#red said#the thing my therapist keeps pointing out is like. i got on this adulthood thing WAY too early#metaphorically i have Had To Go To Work In The Morning since i was like. 4. bc i am congenitally incapable of#Not Thinking About Consequences. and it's so important to be Good and Tough and Have It Together#but like. maybe if id done more crying and melting down when i DIDN'T Have To Go To Work In The Morning bc i was a Literal Infant#i might be a more balanced adult now that i actually DO. Have To Go To Work In The Morning.#what do people like. do. when they have to have feelings but also meet adult responsibilities? impossible. gotta choose.#i think it doesn't help that i already really struggle to work a full time job. like I'm already late basically every day bc i a night guy#so it's like. there's no give in this. maybe if i was back into a 3-4 day week? but idk if i can afford that#but also the work is only partly work. it's also like. having human relationships. eating. washing. being a person.#but idk. like. until i have some genuinely open-ended time i think I'm gonna always find it impossible to actually let go#i said in therapy it's like. like sadness specifically is like a thick muddy bog. and i can dip a foot in it#but bc i know i need to be able to keep moving#i can only stick a foot in and deal with a bit of it if I'm holding onto something. so in practise i can only cry#right before it becomes inappropriate to cry. so like. end of a therapy session. heading to a train station after seeing someone.#that kind of thing. it's a safety thing.#it would be much more effectively Dealing With to go dive into the bog and plough through it#but I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THAT'LL TAKE and i have to like. come out all muddy and deal with that#and there's always somewhere i gotta be soon. i can't just jump into the mud. not cause I'll get hurt i just Don't Have Time#anyway. feelings. how do they work. embarrassed about having them. embarrassed about suppressing them. generally just embarrassed.
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every time i listen to ugly death no redemption i go fucking insane about ice the last generation again
#sucks bc it’s one of my favorite albums lmao#for those who don’t know. ice is a really shitty post apocalyptic yuri ova#it’s made by the creator of the zeta gundam not like tomino but the mech designer#it’s also really anti men like there’s no men they all died and it’s between the two factions of like militant science and fuck it we ball#and the fuck it we ball people just have gay sex and do drugs#the militant one also has gay sex but only the leader and she has like slaves for it????#also the leader of the fuck it we ball one is part jellyfish bc her mom did genetic experiments on her to figure out how to make children#without cock#that’s one of my favorite parts of it the one scene where that’s discussed is really cool#there’s a weird age gap between the two love interests though i think they’re both adults????#but one of them was like at least in her twenties when the other one was being born??????#it makes me really uncomfortable which is why i haven’t gotten super into it otherwise i think i would go insane#also there’s some weird time travel esque stuff at the end and i think it might be implied that the love interest gave birth to her partner#through virgin birth like jesus style#before any of the plot even happened#or maybe the love interest is just there when she’s giving birth???? she dies in the main timeline and then her object that she gave her#partner is in the hospital room (in the past)#but also the person giving birth is technically different than the love interest bc all we know is that she has been hallucinating this lady#bc she hasn’t slept in literal years#and that’s the lady giving birth in the past and she might be the love interest and she might be giving birth to her partner#fucking insane shit there are parts that really interest me and i want to take for my own projects and stuff#do not recommend it at all but also i kinda do but like dont go into it seriously go into it to see a weird as fuck shit show#anyways ugly death no redemption uses a lot of samples from it!!!!!!#oh yeah humans have also evolved to only be able to eat processed foods and if animals eat it they turn into flowers that’s a cool scene too
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i am losing my mind
#god is testing me this is just a test this is just a cruel joke#vanus thoughts#i’m going to go insane#i seriously dont know what to do i’m so tired of all this#too much is happening at once and at the same time i feel like nothing is happening and i will stay in this place forever#i just want to live in a cottage far far away on a shore that has never been visited and is not on any map so no one from this life can find#me and i will never interact with another human being and i will be lonely but at least i will be free because what the fuck is this#i swear to god when i leave this place i will never come back they might haunt me but they wont hurt me any more than they have#i need a new fucking life new hair new clothes new body new people new love#i will go to a new place#where no one doubts my memory and makes me question myself and makes me stay quiet and no one will force me to act like an adult when i’m 16#and i will rest and heal and work#but i don’t want to be here anymore#why did i pour my heart out into these tags no one will read them#this makes me a little sad
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Prompt 148
Danny is enjoying his vacation. He’s surrounded by so many creatures who are delighted to show him around, and there’s a bunch that are even called ghosts! Those ones seem to have deemed him as their favorite person, which isn’t hard, but they have also apparently decided that they have to follow him everywhere, including all the way home. And to whatever world he takes his next vacation-slash job as Clockwork’s student at.
Oh well, he’s sure it won’t be that noticeable.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dcxdpxpokemon#DPxDCxPokemon#pokemon crossover#prompts#Danny is an adult & a big guy#He has so many pokemon following him all the time#Pokemon as a franchise doesn’t exist in his or the DC world#He’s a big softy who could crush someone’s head but is so gentle with the itty bitty & giant Creachurs#Someone does in fact notice these several creatures & their maybe-human friend#Good news: Damian was the first to notice him#Bad news: He is now trying to convince the man to give him an eevee#Danny has so many ghost-friends including a pocket mimickyu & a gengar son & a phantump daughter#Damian might try to get Bruce to meet the man with all the creatures in an attempt to get one#Danny is oblivious & thinks the kid is just really enthusiastic about learning about his pokefriends#You KNOW he has several space pokemon too let’s be honest#Danny gets free interdimensional-time vacations after finishing whatever his job there is#There’s definitely several carvings of him & his friends scattered around dimensions & time
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Also, does anyone else feel like this is all Locutus related? Everything weird about Jack, the Changelings’ mysterious benefactor, Picard’s original body....
I’m just saying, I feel like this is a Locutus thing but I don’t know how common that guess is.
#star trek picard spoilers#picard spoilers#im just saying.....i dont know HOW Jack might have inherited telepathic powers from Picard that are Locutus derived somehow#or if maybe at some point someone did something to Jack that built upon something he'd inherited from Picard#that played into how the Borg created the Locutus personality or did to Picard in the first place#but from a certain perspective Jack's powers seem not to much standard sci-fi telepathy#as 'ability to created a hive mind/shared mental space with even other humans#if not any other sentient species in general'#again....not sure how or even if the Borg would have done something to Picard to make him pass this trait or ability down#to his offspring but if this is the case (and they certainly seem to be dropping the implication that Picard's#whats it called Syndrome was always misdiagnosed....not just with Jack but with he himself....aka maybe#after Locutus Picard had or was developing these powers too but they didn't 'take' as well in a full grown adult whose brain had already#developed naturally and so instead these powers presented as symptoms of that syndrome they thought he had#BUT whatever changes they made to Picard's original body that went unnoticed and thus unaltered when Starfleet 'restored him' after Locutus#still ended up passed down to Jack as part of him from his birth so that he did grow into them naturally#and as for the benefactor could that be Locutus itself? ie the personality was somehow still embedded in whatever#hidden implants or alterations the Borg made to Picard's#original body and left behind...and that's what the Changelings were trying to extract from the body#and maybe they put it into a changeling and thats why it seems to have a similarly shapeless form#but does NOT seem to be part of the Great Link for whatever reason#and is now seeking Jack to be his new vessel or something? idk idk something like that maybe
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