#they might be a flop but i hope not because i legit put a lot of effort into them!

[redlyriumidol]

these are the vibes I picture for the settings of dreadwolf (which I tried to transmit in my playlists):

tevinter/minrathous: opulent, magnificent, but creepy and fucked up, corrupt city of darkness and hedonism. immense gothic cathedrals of dark stone tower above the downtrodden masses that scurry beneath. so much history, but the blood will never wash out

antiva/treviso: italian obviously, with hints of spain. neighbours sit around in the streets to play guitars or lutes and sing/clap together. beautiful twisting spires, refinement, but there's a seedy underbelly, the stink of leather and the risk of murder- the people are joyful nevertheless- wine, food, song flows from every open window.

anderfels: vast, open, nothingness. a feeling of pervasive doom, a searching for some sign of the maker in the unforgiving wastelands under an expanse of empty sky. grim soldiers clad in grey march across the dusty landscape, the king has long abandoned his people who must fend for themselves against the constant threat of darkspawn.

rivain: their lives are intertwined with the sea. fishing nets, the smell of salt. pirates and sailors come and go, drinking spiced rum at the taverns. and there's an old magic there which sits on the skin, it's as natural to them as breathing. respected seeresses with wrinkled, weather-beaten faces ply their trade under the smoke of burning herbs and cured fish. women sell branches of rosemary on street corners. hints of spanish romani culture and music, also north african and al-andalus.

[khaleesiofalicante]

GUESS WHO'S BAAAACCCCCKKKKKK

THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S ME!

LEMME JUST SAY the number of times you've made me cry with your fics isn't even funny anymore...

ok ok ok but LEXI OMG SHE'S SUCH A HERONDALE SDYJCDCGYGYCDGYUYUGZSDGYUGYUACGYUMSGYUMSZD I LOVE HER SO MUCH

And "Jason talk dirty to me" is the best way to start a fic, I said what I said.

Don't we all hate zoom meetings? I know I sure do and I have class in 5 and a half hours (i woke up at 1 am...don't even question it). Technically i was gonna try and go back to sleep when I remembered HOLY SHIT LBAF FUCK SLEEP I CAN STAY UP

Also...KIERARKTINA CHILDREN XSUHSGYDSDGJM IM SCREAMING. At first, i was like...one child...TWO CHILD???? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Patrick...I never really knew the guy well but Aline is grieving LEAVE ME ALONE TO CRY

Lexi wrinkled her nose at the name. “I have a message for you.”

“You love me more than mom?” Jace asked.

THE WAY SHE SAID YES WITHOUT HESITATION

but seriously though...do silent brothers wear clothing under their robes...?

ALL THAT FORESHADOWING ABOUT "Darker times" IM SCARED AND I ALSO BELIEVE THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT THE COHORT.

“I’m not a child!” Lexi protested.

You are seven years old, brother Enoch pointed out. He had been there to place the protection charms after the twins had been born.

If Jace didn’t know any better he’d say the silent brother was sassing her.

But Lexi was a Herondale.

“I’m 49 in dog years!” Lexi huffed.

You are not a dog, Alexandra.

“Daddy said I can be anything I want to be,” Lexi stuck out her tongue. “I’m a dog. A very old dog. Woof!”

Brother Enoch turned to him as if to say, ‘control your Herondale spawn’.

HERONDALE SPAWN.

There is so much going on in these lines BUT LEXI IS A WHOLE ASS MOOD YES BESTIE IF YOU WANNA BE A DOG THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA BE FUCK EVERYTHING ELSE!! WOOF

Jace knew many children had been orphaned by the war with the cohort - like Diego’s daughter, who had been adopted from the Chennai Institute.

This part scared me because for a second I was like "IS DIEGO DEAD??????" before I read on and my mind caught on.

ok on to my second favorite character right after Lexi

DAVID MY CHILD I SAY WE KILL ALBERT. SCREW THE PRISON I'M GONNA BURN THIS BITCH ALIVE

THE FUCKING AUDACITY OF HIM. DAVID IS A CHILD HONESTLY FUCK YOU. I WAS SO ANGRY THIS LITTLE SHIT HOW DARE HE.

I just wanna squeezes David into a bear hug ill protect him from now.

THE FAIRCHILD-HERONDALE FAMILY IM GONNA SCREAM

THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS ISTG AHDGYJDYUKCYDVYGDJHVCGYJMDV

Max stamped his foot on the ground, because he liked to be theatrical about everything

Im sure we all know where he gets it from...

“Shall we go check on the little miscreants?”

“Max and Rafe aren’t that bad,” Jace replied faithfully.

“I was talking about your girls,” Magnus grinned. “My boys are literal angels.”

“One of them is a warlock,” Jace pointed out. “With demon blood.”

“You know your family descended from Tessa, right?” Magnus asked. “Your children have demon blood too.”

“Yikes, no wonder people want us gone,” Jace chuckled and Magnus chuckled with him.

THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION THEY HAVE COME SO FAR ISTG IM GONNA CRY

“Did you know there is a trick to find out if kids are really sleeping?”

“A magic trick?” Jace asked.

“Yes,” Magnus winked. “You see…When kids are asleep, really asleep, they put up right hand. Only parents know of this secret.”

Rafael and Selena remained still, his little celery still snoring gently.

Max’s hand slowly went up and Lexi’s followed.

A bark of laughter escaped Jace, and Magnus shushed him.

“Miscreants!” Jace whispered.

“I told you so!” Magnus chuckled.

“I know of another secret. I heard the Consul has a new punishment for kids who lie,” Jace said. “They apparently have to eat Izzy’s food.”

The hands flopped back into bed immediately and Magnus covered his mouth to control his laughter.

THE DOMESTICITY OF THIS SCENE OH MY GOD

also TIAN!! ISTG IF WE DON'T SEE HIM IN TWP OR TEC 3 MARRIED AND HAPPY WITH JIN FENG IM GONNA BE VERY SAD

“Damn, I would have gladly punched you in the face, Herondale. Next time, ask for volunteers.”

Damn bestie-

“This is ridiculous! I didn’t do anything!” Albert yelled and looked at the brother Enoch. “You saw what they did, right?”

I’m a silent brother, Albert. I can’t see. Surely you know that.

Exactly you blind fuck.

we got Jace and alec brotp bonding leave me alone to cry in a corner. the fact that shadowhunters don't have laws protecting children like wtf is wrong with you people

“Alexandra,” his parabatai interrupted. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?” “Shouldn’t you be in Los Angeles?” Lexi countered.

LEXI AYUAHGUSUSUGWDCDGD,DCGKSDYG,SDGSCDH.

“Max is awake?” Magnus was alert now.

“And Max is hungry!!!” the boy walked into the room.

Live footage of me every morning (or evening. or night. depends on my sleep schedule)

DAVID LEGIT HAD A LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT MOMENT MY PRECIOUS

HE NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS

“Oh my god, who is this?” Max yelled and jumped straight into the bed, right next to David. “Are you a shadowhunter? Where are you from? Your eyes are so blue! My daddy has blue eyes too! Wait, I also have blue eyes! We both have blue eyes!”

Max- PLEASE THIS IS SO CUTE

“Yay!” Lexi yelled. “You could pretend to be my other twin.”

“Then you would be triplets,” Alec mumbled quietly. “Not twins.”

Oh shush

“Our people are not going to like this, Alec,” Jace pointed out.

“Well, that’s too bad,” Alec said unapologetically. “I’m the Consul.”

YES BITCH SHOW THEM

I really hope Albert does have to come crawling back and have his marks stripped.

“Is that...Is that a stubble?” Jace asked when something prickled his cheek.

“Yes.”

"Are you growing a beard?" Jace inquired sceptically.

"Yes."

“Gross. I don’t like it,” Jace complained.

“Too bad. Cause I do.”

“I’m going to tell Magnus to shave it off while you are asleep,” Jace muttered.

“Jokes on you. He likes it too.”

Jace weren't you starting to grow a beard in TDA as well-

no, but I'm with Jace on this one.

“So, I heard an interesting story from Magnus when I came in,” his wife said, coming out of her bathroom, wiping her face with a towel. “You adopted a kid, I hear? Your parabatai is really rubbing off on you, huh?”

It's the alec affect bestie.

“He only said there is a child at the institute who needs my help. At first, I thought he was talking about you.”

I-

Jace trying to find David a new last name was so goddamn sweet I'm crying in a corner. And David choosing to keep his name as a reminder that he survived??? TEARS

Selena had learned Spanish so she can talk to Rafael. Then she had learned French just because she could.

Oh to be good at languages...

“It means darling,” Jace corrected and then beamed. “But wait! It also means cabbage! David, you are going to be my little cabbage.”

Lexi, Selena, and Clary groaned in unison.

“You’ll have to deal with this, David,” Clary said apologetically, not letting go of the boy. “Lexi is Lettuce. Selena is Celery and I’m Carrot.”

AJHHUHYUCDJILSDYVGILCQBCDHCUOUCEDCCSCUHKK SCREAMING

DAVID YOU ARE GONNA BE EATING PIZZA TONIGHT SCREW VEGETABLES.

THE LIBRARY SLEEPOVER!!! SQUEALS. I LOVE READING TOO I WANNA JOIN THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was so long wtf-

and I guess I don't truly understand what it's like to be a child abuse victim but to all those who can hurt a child and not feel anything...I hope they fucking pay for what they do. All those kids who survive are so goddamn strong but why the fuck does one have to go through so much shit and people be like "oh you came out stronger" sure bitch but they didn't deserve this shit in the first place. i might be saying it wrong but we seriously need more strict laws against this kind of shit.

damn, I curse a lot. SEE YA ON FRIDAY BYE

Me scrolling through this entire liveblog like:

Thank you so much. It made my day! I love reading reactions!!! (lol you know that)

I am so glad you like the first chapter. And I curse a lot too so issokay ;)

And thank you for that last point. It's what we need more of in this world - empathy and understanding x.

And we definitely need better laws - but these laws also need to be implemented correctly - without judgment and with efficiency.

We have a long way to go just like the shadowhunters oof.

[raunchyom]

Vices, Not Virtues: Charity

[ Chapter 2 ]

[ Previous ] [ Next ]

A/N: Man, this took a helluva lot longer than I thought it would. It also ended up being a helluva lot longer than I thought it would, despite what I said on the last chapter. Oops. Hope y’all like long fics ^^’ Tagging: @devintrinidad

word count: 3k || warnings: n/a​

Since arriving in the Devildom, you’d been perpetually busy. 

Whether baking with Luke or shopping with Asmo, reading with Satan or snacking with Beel, practicing magic with Solomon or playing body pillow for Belphie, going to class or doing mountains of homework-- it was always something, and it always added up to a very full schedule.

Today was no different. Lucifer had insisted on keeping you until you were practically asleep in his study last night, only relenting because you had class the next day. And it wasn’t as if you could fall asleep when you got back to your room-- you had things due tomorrow, and a full schedule to try and get back on track of.

You’d mostly succeeded on the homework front, even finishing with enough time for a solid 4 hours of sleep that night. The pre-class D.D.D. tutorial you’d promised to Simeon happened right on schedule, and you successfully stayed awake for your entire first and second periods. You snuck out of third period to help Asmo with his latest fashion emergency, then managed the rest of third and fourth period without a hitch. You spent lunch listening to the newest anime-oriented drama from Levi, then attended the last of your classes. A text popped up from Beel just thirty minutes before school was over that he made a mistake, and needed your advice. You went ahead and offered to help clean the kitchen, already guessing what had happened. Overall, it was a pretty standard day.

Well, standard or not, once you’d gotten back to your room-- and finished cleaning up the wreckage that Beel had severely understated in his messages-- it was late, with a lot left to do. You opened your door, mentally blocking out how much time it should take to complete everything. Your math left you confident that you could get 4 hours of sleep again tonight, maybe even 5 if you really focused. You set your backpack down, feeling better, and flopped into your desk chair. The second your butt hit the cushion, you felt your D.D.D. buzz from your pocket.

You groaned, head hitting the desk with a soft ‘thunk’. Didn’t your phone know that you were busy?

As if it could hear your thoughts, the device vibrated again, eliciting a sigh. Pity party successfully waylaid, you dug your D.D.D. out of your pocket and checked the notifications.

It was a string of texts, all from Mammon. First he asked what you were doing, then where you were. The next one said to forget both of those; he needed you to come help him with homework in his room. When you hadn’t answered fast enough, he began to spam you with angry emojis.

He was acting like a brat, but that was his version of begging. He was always struggling in his classes, and your tutoring usually helped; you couldn’t fault him for wanting to improve his grades. And so, ignoring everything you had to do, you decided to help him. After all, isn’t that what being a good friend is all about?

You stood up, tossing your backpack on again. If you factored your study session into your schedule, that would put you at 4 hours of sleep tops. No, the likelihood it would only take an hour was slim; probably 3.5 hours of sleep. Another text-- make that two-- made your D.D.D. buzz again; both demanding you reply, the second saying you didn’t have a choice in whether to help. ...Maybe 2.5 hours.

Your first knock on his door was met with silence, and you briefly considered leaving to do your own homework. But no-- you came to help, you should help.

“Mammon?” You tried again, knocking louder.

“Finally! Get in here already!” He yelled through the door.

Mammon was on his couch, backpack tossed a good ways away from him. Though he had a textbook on his coffee table, and plenty of papers scattered across the surface, he didn’t seem to be working on anything specific. It didn’t help that he was upside-down on his couch; his legs thrown over the back cushion and head hanging off the front. It wasn’t the typical doing-homework pose, but far be it from you to tell what Mammon was thinking.

“You sure took your time!” He tossed his D.D.D. to the side, pointing an accusing finger in your direction.

“I walked straight here when I got your texts.”

“Yeah, well, you should already know when I want ya here.” He huffed, then practically fell off the couch amidst his panicked backpedaling. “Not-- Not that I want ya here, I mean! The Great Mammon doesn’t want some human around, crampin’ his style! I just--!” He rolled into a normal sitting position, the redness in his face no longer the result of being upside-down. 

“You wanted my help with homework, right?” You tried to throw him a life raft, but it went right over his head.

“What? Homework? We had homework!?” He asked, now looking frazzled for a different reason. You took a deep breath, briefly wondering how this scatterbrain remembered to put pants on every morning.

“Mammon, why did you ask me to come over?” You finally asked, trying to get him back on track.

“I asked… oh! Yeah! I uh…” He glanced at his table, a mess of papers that he hadn’t looked at since dumping them out of his folder. He looked back up at you expectantly. “Mc, do you have any money?”

...Oh, so that’s what this was about. It was hard not to feel disappointed that he had lied to get you here, but at least he got right to the point. “Yeah, sure, what happ-- ah, whatever. How much do you need?” 

You reached for your wallet, hoping to just fork over the grimm and go back to what you were doing. He hadn’t asked in a while, so this was probably legit. Probably. He would promise to pay it back, with every intention of doing so, and then forget to, or run into more debt. It was a vicious cycle; you were happy to not be a part of it. Well, at least it was nice while it lasted.

“What? No, that’s not-- ya shouldn’t be handin’ out money like that!” Mammon nagged, effectively freezing your hand in midair. If he didn’t want money, why was he asking? “You don’t needta give your stuff away to people just ‘cause they ask, that’s how people take advantage of ya!”

At first, his behavior didn’t make sense, but the gears started turning on what was going on. You shoved your wallet back into place, trying not to sound as exhausted as you felt. “Is this because of Lucifer?”

“Lucifer?” He echoed, confused.

“You know, his whole idea of giving you guys a week to…” You gestured vaguely, not wanting to say ‘teach me to sin’ for multiple reasons; “uh, talk to me?”

“Whaddya mean Lucifer?” He sounded affronted at the thought. “It was MY idea!” He huffed, crossing his arms.

“You thought of this?” It was surprising, but you felt inclined to believe him. He didn’t like to admit that he cared; he wouldn’t suddenly lie about being worried enough to bring it up to his brothers. Either way, as sweet as it was, good intentions wouldn’t save your grades. But maybe if he had gotten you into this mess, he could get you out of it. At the very least, he might be able to get you out of today’s lecture. “Mammon, I really appreciate it, but I don’t have time to--”

“Exactly! Ya never have time!” He launched up off the couch, flinging his arms out dramatically as he spoke. “You’re always givin’ it away to everybody else! Just like your stuff, and your grimm! Do ya ever even spend anythin’ on yourself?” 

“Of course I do.” You replied easily. He made it seem as if you were emptying your pockets for anyone who asked. You weren’t some human piggy bank, you bought yourself stuff all the time.

“Oh yeah? When’s the last time ya bought somethin’ for yourself, then? And food doesn’t count! Neither does stuff ya need for school, or takin’ care of yourself. When’s the last time ya bought something just ‘cause ya wanted it?” He asked, hands on his hips.

“I, uh…” That was a lot of rules. You tried to flip back in your mind. You weren’t exactly a big spender; certainly not since you’d arrived in the Devildom with so little time to work for extra cash. To Mammon’s point, you could only think of things you bought out of necessity. A snack when you didn’t have time for lunch. A new pair of shoes when yours were falling apart. Some toiletries when you needed them. A new uniform when your jacket was torn beyond repair, and you didn’t want to bother anyone about it.

“But you’re always buyin’ stuff for others!” Mammon let your thoughts wander enough to make his point, but he had to cut in eventually. “Remember how I usedta ask for money all the time?” 

“I mean-- it’s been a while.” It was a meager attempt at defense, but it was true. You couldn’t remember the last time he came to your door, brown-nosing his way into your pockets.

“Yeah, well, when ya first got here, you gave your grimm away freely, always buyin’ stuff for people-- so I thought ya had a buncha money. Then I heard Lucifer sayin’ ya don’t have much, and you were sayin’ ya wanted to save some, so I stopped askin’! But nobody else knows, so they keep askin’, and you keep givin’ it to ‘em! I know you don’t have stuff to be givin’ away either, I’ve been through--” He caught himself before he admitted it out loud, but you were well aware of the fact that Mammon had rooted through your stuff at the beginning. He had stopped at this point… you hoped. “No one here wants to take advantage of ya, but they don’t know they’re doin’ it. Ya gotta tell people not to ask for so much-- I mean, I’m the avatar of greed, and I feel bad takin’ your stuff! I bet the others would feel the same!” 

It was hard to tell whether he cared more about your financial situation or about making his brothers feel guilty. “I think--”

“Don’t even get me started about your time!” Mammon didn’t let you get a word in edgewise, advancing towards you as he ranted. He didn’t realize he was doing it; the action a subconscious result of his rising emotions. You took a few steps back, but soon bumped into furniture and had to stop. “You’re always busy, and ya got tons’a homework, but ya never say no when people ask for help! Do ya even have time to be here right now? Or do ya have somethin’ you could be doin’ instead?” 

It was a fair point, but hard to take from the one who’d brought you here. “It’s fine, I like to help out.”

“Help yourself out!” This was the second time within 24 hours that you’d gotten chewed out for not taking proper care of yourself. There was a familiar churning in your gut-- a leaden mixture of guilt and anxiety. Not to mention a dash of adrenaline from being within range of an angry demon. That last one happened a lot around here, though. “Try sayin’ no to people once in awhile! You stretch yourself too thin and eventually there’s gonna be nothin’ left!”

Mammon finally took a breath, letting his shoulders slump as he exhaled. He averted his eyes, his voice much softer when he next spoke. “Besides… I miss ya, Mc. You keep givin’ away your time, and overworkin’ yourself, and all of a sudden… I never see ya anymore.” 

His gaze flitted back to your face, and it finally dawned on him just how close he’d gotten. He was nearly pinning you against his pool table at this point. His face turned bright red, and he leapt backwards, crossing his arms to maintain his pride. “A-Anyway! You don’t owe anyone anything. So stop acting like it.”

“I don’t act like--”

“Oi, and don’t interrupt the Great Mammon!”

You rolled your eyes, but conceded. He had been difficult from his very first text tonight, it was probably easier to just humor him at this point.

“Ya play therapist for the house all the time. Ya mediate fights, listen to people’s problems, give out advice when you’re asked-- even when ya don’t know what to say. Maybe it’s about time ya let us know when ya aren’t up to it. I mean, no one's gonna fault ya for takin’ a vacation day.” It wasn’t a perfect metaphor, but it conveyed his point well enough. “The house has been a lot calmer since ya got here. Everybody knows it-- you do too, dontcha?” 

It was true that you’d been complimented on your demon-wrangling skills by many people before. ...Including the brothers, oftentimes. “Well, yeah, but you guys should always be able to come to me. I want to be there for you.”

“Well I wanna be there for you, too!” Mammon blurted, looking desperate. Well, until he realized what he said, his expression then switching to panic as he frantically backpedaled. “I mean-- we do! T-They do! Or-- everyone else does, but I-I’ve got better stuff to… Ah, what am I sayin’? We all wanna be there for ya, Mc. But that means when ya have a hard day, and we ask if ya have time... ya gotta say no. How would you feel, if ya learned that we all forced ourselves to be around ya?”

A pang of guilt shot through your chest. “It isn’t like that; you guys aren’t a burden. I want to help--”

“Yeah, and I wanna sell Levi’s expensive shut-in stuff for extra cash, but sometimes ya gotta think about what ya wanna do versus what ya can do. I’m not very… I mean, I dunno about uh, emotions and... all that, but…” Suddenly Mammon’s tsundere thing made a lot of sense; he was a lot better at denial than candor. “Well, ya can’t help us if ya can’t help yourself!”

Again, he had a point. This time he wasn’t being a hypocrite, so it made it harder to come up with a rebuttal. “Everyone has bad days, I don’t have to shut people out whenever I’m not at one hundred percent.”

“Man, you sure are lucky Lucifer has a soft spot for ya. All this back talk would get me in hot water.” Mammon sighed. “Just listen to me for once, wouldja?”

You crossed your arms, unimpressed. He chose to interpret it as a yes.

“I know ya wanna have some free time. And I know ya wanna keep some of your money saved up, whatever it’s for. Well… If sayin’ no is hard for ya, maybe we can start ya off with a test drive.”

“A… test drive...?” Nope, he lost you.

“Y’see, I’ll take the fall tonight. I’m gonna say we’re studyin’. Or that I’m still givin’ ya my peace. But… go back to your room, do whatcha want. Don’t matter what-- homework, sleepin’, whatever. Just don’t let anyone take it from ya. Matter’a fact, if someone asks for ya: practice sayin’ no. If ya gotta give ‘em a reason, tell ‘em it’s my fault.” 

“You sure?” He was essentially offering to be your guard dog for the night, which was quite a monumental task-- especially since people already assumed Mammon was at fault for things in general, and wouldn’t hesitate to take their anger out on him.

“Yeah, yeah; just don’t go and think I’m gonna keep doin’ this forever! Ya gotta learn to say no on your own, without me havin’ to do it for you all the time! I got goldie to worry about, I don’t need another credit card overspendin’ itself and-- w-well, I just don’t wanna haveta deal with it if ya run outta money and come cryin’ to-- oi!” You wrapped him in a hug, able to feel the shock run up his spine at your sign of gratitude. 

“I-I toldja, I ain’t doin’ it for you!” Mammon protested, but near instantly caved; stealing the chance to hug you back. He puffed out a defeated breath, adding, “I’m gonna watch out for ya human, I mean it. I wanna make sure you can keep gettin’ better, so… If ya ever gotta turn someone down in the future, or tell ‘em no for any reason, and ya can’t bring yourself to do it… You can always tell ‘em it’s on me. I’m your first man, you can always depend on me to help ya out.”

“Thank you, really.” He held you for just a beat longer before he relented, switching back to his brusque demeanor the moment he let go. 

“Yeah, yeah, keep thankin’ me and you’re gonna waste all your free time before it even starts. Get outta here already! I got stuff to do too, y’know.” He waved you off, but he was refusing eye contact for a reason.

Leaving Mammon’s room, your steps felt light, and a rush of warmth flooded your chest as you recalled his praise. Sure, it was followed by nagging, or saying it wasn’t always good for you-- but it was definitely nice to hear that the brothers really did think of you as their confidant. 

You stood a little taller; almost as if you felt a sense of pride.

[uwuwriting]

cuddle hcs with ur favorite mha characters? 🥺👉👈 good luck w the new blog btw!

OMG my first ask. I hope I don’t disappoint with my hcs and thank you for asking 😘

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Todoroki Shouto

-We know this boy is touch starved.

-The affection he didn’t get as a child, he’s replenishing it with you.

-Whether it’s you guys cuddling in bed or in the common room couch,or just plain old hand holding, he’s down for it. 

-He isn’t one for PDA but boy does he become clingy behind closed doors.

-You will be having a study session in your dorm, casually reading your note until you feel two arms circling your waist and a chin resting on your shoulder. 

- “Shou?” no response. “You okay love?”

- “Now I’m great.”

-Cue your heart melting.

-Now whether you reciprocate the cuddling and totally forget about studying or you just stay there letting him hold you and continue your work, is totally up to you.

-This flaming ball of ice is happy either way.

-What he really wants is to feel you close *and maybe get a handful of boob with the excuse of ‘wanting to feel your heartbeat’*

-His kisses are passionate even when you aren’t doing the devil’s tango.

-He really likes hearing the small noises you make when he kisses you and falls even deeper in love with you the moment you lean more into him, becoming jello in his arms.

-He loves making you feel safe and comfortable so when you put your hand over his heart and hum while he’s hugging you, he’s in heaven.

-Will tell you how much he loves you non stop and pepper you with kisses.

-Of course you like the little shit you are  won’t hesitate to just shower him with all your love and affection until he’s almost passed out on the floor. 

-He just needs to be loved and babied. 

-Thankfully you’re there to baby him all he wants. 

Iida Tenya

-This little shit.

-He’s against PDA and WILL scold you if you try anything.

-And he doesn’t feel bad about it ‘cause he’s class rep and class reps do not show affection’.

-When you’re alone he, again, won’t initiate anything but he will pout if you don’t either. 

-He gets overly flustered though when you go and sit on his lap, resting your head in the crook of his neck.

-He becomes as red as Bakugou’s eyes and stutters for some minutes, telling you that you need to study because ‘studying is essential for your academic success” but will eventually give in to your cuddles cause 1) he needs them and 2) your puppy dog eyes are to die for. 

-So we know that he a tall boi and a muscular boi, so of course expect to have a personal teddy bear in your room.

-His hugs are pure bliss and you just can’t help but tell him that.

-Iida.exe has stopped working.

-He loses his marbles every time you tell him you love him and WILL hide his face in your hair to avoid your gaze.

-He just becomes so shy when you show him love and let’s be real he can’t handle it. 

-When he finally realizes that this is normal and people do this type of stuff with their s/o, he becomes more intimate. 

-You won’t have to initiate everything and maybe just maybe he will hold your hand in public.

-He loves being the big spoon.

-Feeling your breathing in sync with his and how you lean into him with such trust, is enough for him to fall head over heels for you all over again.

-By the end of your high school years he is barely holding himself back from dropping down to one knee and asking you to marry him.

-Expect many ‘I love yous’ coming from him after hard missions (especially after Stain) and cue the ‘cuddling till sunrise on the couch’ music.

Shinsou Hitoshi

-Again, this little shit. 

-He doesn’t mind PDA so you can be more intimate in public BUT this boy is the teasing king.

-He will lean in for a quick kiss while you guys are hanging out with some friends, only to back away once your lips are about to touch.

-Or will brush his hand against yours on your way to class and acts like nothing happened.

-BOY IF YOU DON’T STOP IMMA SNAP.

-Behind closed doors he’s less of a tease and more of a clingy little kitten.

-Will legit flop down onto your bed while you’re writing an essay for Aizawa and just demand attention. 

-Expect his head resting on your shoulder or lap and nuzzling his nose in the crook of your neck or your stomach, just to get you to drop whatever you’re doing.

-He loves being the little spoon as well as resting his head on your chest while you stroke his hair.

-He will deadass fall asleep.

-Loves to hear your voice and how it vibrates through your body so he will ask you to talk to him about whatever.

-You want to rant? Go for it.

-You want to confess your undying love for wasabi him? He’s down.

-You want to analyse the declaration of independence? Weird flex but okay.

-He loves it when you wear his clothes while you two cuddle so he will purposefully ‘forget’ his sweatshirt in your dorm.

-He is still amazed how someone would want to be with him so expect a lot of lovey dovey stuff whenever he feels self-conscious.

-You know that when he’s overly affectionate something’s up so you make sure to get him to talk.

-You reassure him about everything and just hold him until you both fall asleep.

-He just loves you so much his heart might as well explode. 

Shirakumo Oboro

-HA.

-This boy is the definition of clingy.

-He’s down for PDA so don’t expect him to be shy or anything, as long as you’re comfortable with his shenanigans he won’t hesitate. 

-Hand holding? check.

-Unexpected hugs during the day? check.

-Full on make out session in the halls? you bet your ass check.

-He will ask you to fly with his cloud so that he can wrap his arms around you. 

-Will not let go of you for the majority of the day and will always pout when he has to do something without you. 

-When you two get some alone time there won’t be a major change in his behavior.

-He might be a little more bold since it’s just the two of you but prefers it when you bask in each others presence. 

-He knows he can be loud, maybe as loud as Hizashi, so he may become a little self-conscious when you two are alone and opts to be more quite. 

-If you don’t question him, he will take that as a sign that he was being overly loud and will try to bother you as little as possible. 

-If you do question him though, he will casually shrug and tell you that he was being too much of a ‘loud-cloud’.

-At that you completely do a 180 and cup his face in your hands and just drown him with compliments and how you love every part of him, loud or not.

-You touch your forehead with his and he melts.

-He can’t take it.

-WILL tackle you to the floor and just hold you for a solid hour.   

-As we all know by now he’s a huge dork and I believe that he’s a helpless romantic so expect many ‘I love yous’.

-He likes talking about his future with you.

-You guys have already pictured how your kids will look and their names. 

-He says that he can’t wait to start a family with you and will suggest you try to begin the process right then and there.

-This cheeky little shit.

-As the loving s/o you’re, you give in.

-Let’s just say that the aftermath cuddles are heaven.   

[themonkeycabal]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier ep 2

Spoilers!

Last week Bucky was a terrible patient and his new BFF is the father of a guy he killed while he was the Winter Soldier (so super healthy), Sam gave up Cap's shield and returned home to try to help salvage the family business (that went poorly), and some — I guess he must be from the Defense Department — dick made a big speech about needing heroes and he gave the shield to some goober (John Walker, but he'll always be Goober to me) in a Cap suit who strongly reminded me of Langly from the Lone Gunmen. (I'm not familiar with the actor, so I don't know what he actually looks like, but the helmet and the camera angle did him no favors at all, I'm just saying. Super punchable.)

Oh, and Sam has an adorable little minion named Lt. Torres who is getting himself into trouble with some weirdass terrorist group who like to slap red handprints on everything.

Zemo's out there lurking, too, but we haven't seen him yet.

I'm still slightly dazed that this show is real and we get to watch it.

Ep2: The Star-Spangled Man

Weird slow-mo opening shot of a close up of somebody unzipping their jacket. I mean. Okay. (Ohhh, it's the garment bag the Cap suit is in.)

And then we're on to Goober, he's wearing BDUs and he's in a football locker room (maybe high school?), fondling the lockers. He peels a name sticker off one, and underneath it says JW 10. A woman comes in and asks if he's reliving his glory days. They yada yada I don't care.

Now I guess they're talking about him becoming Captain America. "Everybody in the world expects me to be … something. And I don't want to fail them." She tells him to be himself and that they're gonna love him. Well, I've already decided he's a goober. I mean, he might not be, but he's got a hill to climb with me.

He spends a few seconds trying out his Captain America voice, then his buddy Hoskins comes in to talk him through it and give us some exposition. "Two weeks ago we were prepping for a special ops mission to Chile and now this."

Goober whines about how it's been handshakes and meetings and senators and whatnot and he just wants to get to it. But his buddy is all, that's part of the job man. Gotta glad-hand, too. You big baby (he doesn't say that part).

"You can't just punch your way out of problems anymore." Well, I mean, I think that was Steve's MO, mostly. That and 'hit it with the shield until it stops moving'.

Nu Cap is making a big showy thing at a rally at his old high school (Custer's Grove HS, GA) stadium for Good Morning America. He's still looking punchable in that helmet. But, they do bring out a kicking marching band, so there's that. It's a boring GMA interview. I don't care.

"John Walker, first person in American history to receive three Medals of Honor. Ran RS-One missions in counter-terrorism and hostage rescue. The government did a study of your body at MIT and you tested off the charts in every measurable category — speed, endurance, intelligence." (I legit laughed out loud. Lookit Captain Gary Stu over here)

Blah blah super humble yada yada. Just wants to make people feel safe, he has sooooo much respect for Steve Rogers, yada. Look, he could be a great guy and maybe I'll warm to him. But not yet!

Back in Brooklyn, Bucky's watching this and his face is all "No! No? What the shit is this? NO! NO? WHU NO?! No." Also, Bucky, I know you have a couch, why are you sitting on the floor? Love yourself just a little bit, dude.

In Louisiana Sam is in an Air Force hanger, staring at a garish 'Cap is Back' poster and looking a little queasy. Rhodey told you, subtly and not really directly, to not give up the shield, buddy. I hope when Bucky gets there the first thing he says is "He gave the shield to *you*, dummy. Not Captain Gary Poppins over there."

Torres says Nu Cap seems like a good guy. Sam's like, uh-huh, sure, so anyway. There's another "cap is back" poster and Sam's like 'ugh'. And they're off to Munich. I guess for the Flag Bros. Hey! There's Bucky! Finally, they're in the same scene. It's been nearly sixty minutes of screen time to get to this moment, Marvel. No, I wasn't counting.

"Shouldn't have given up the shield." lol. Hi Bucky! You forgot to call him a dummy.

Sam's like I haven't got time for this. And Bucky points to the umpteenth Cap is Back poster (seriously? Good lord.) "You didn't know that was going to happen?"

  Sam did not know that was going to happen. "You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out there and call him the new Captain America?"

Bucky will not let this go. "You had no right to give up the shield, Sam." You tell him!

But, Sam's kind of not in the mood. Look, I get it Sam, you didn't feel equal to the shield, but Steve gave it to you because he knows, my dude. Trust him. Come on.

But, he's feeling very raw about this, right now. "This is what you're not gonna do. You're not gonna come here in your overextended life and tell me about my rights." Well, ouch. 

He says he's got bigger things to worry about, but that seems unpossible to Bucky "What could be bigger than this?" Terrorist douchebags wearing funny masks in Eastern and Central Europe. Well, fine, Sam; be all puts-things-in-perspective guy.

Redwing traced the far-too-strong maybe leader to a place in Munich. For some reason Bucky does not have good feelings about Redwing. Uh-oh, Bucky, you're going to extra hurt Sam's feelings.

Oh lol, it's the "Big Three" convo. "What big three?" "Androids, aliens, and wizards." Still funny. Sam's so proud of himself.

"I'm coming with you." "No, you're not." Bucky went with him.

Did they glare at each other the whole way to Munich? lol. I love this show so much already.

"Enjoy the ride, Buck." "No, you can't call me that." "Why not? That's what Steve called you." "Steve knew me longer. And Steve had a plan." lol, Steve Rogers never had a plan a day in his life.

Bucky wants a chute, but Torres who wisely stayed out of all of that, is like we're way too low for a chute. "I don't need it anyway." Then Bucky drama school bitch rips off the left sleeve of his jacket and jumps out while yelling like the dumbass he is. And he hits every branch of the dumbass tree on his way to the ground.

"I have all of that on camera, you know that right?" And Redwing zooms by to hovers over Bucky. So, maybe it's not a mystery why he doesn't like Redwing. lol.

Bucky and Sam meet up at a dilapidated warehouse in the middle of the forest. Only good things ever happen in dilapidated warehouses in forests. Like extra shady weapons smuggling. Bucky's gonna stalk after them. Sam messes with him a bit.

"Look at you all stealthy. A little time in Wakanda and you come out White Panther." lol. ilu Sam. "It's actually White Wolf." "Huh?" heh. What he won’t tell you, Sam, is that he earned the name from the kids near his goat farm who liked to spy on and giggle at the grumpy growly white guy. 

"Hello. How are you?" "Great. What did I miss?" They're a delightful disaster! And they bicker and bicker and ahh, finally.

Also the people they're stalking are hella strong. And then these two idiots knock into an old bit of metal and make some noise. The shady people stop for a mo' but then move on. Sam scans one of the trucks the shady folks were loading (there are two), there's a figure sitting in the back. "There's an eighth person. I think they have a hostage." And Bucky zooms off! And Sam after him.

Bucky jumps onto the lead truck and then just like wanders around inside. I'm pretty sure the truck behind you noticed you, dummy. Anyway, it's loaded with crates marked "keep frozen." "They're stealing medicine. Vaccines." Those utter bastards. He spots a girl peeking out between containers. "Hi." lol, idiot.

He thinks it's the hostage, but I'm waiting for her to kick his butt out the door. She's not, you know, tied up in anyway. So … Also, again, does the second truck not have a radio to the first truck? Like was the driver texting while Bucky climbed up the back of the truck right in front of him? Now he's strangely incurious about the open door?

And, then she smiles at him and kicks him out the door, he hits the windshield of the second truck (maybe they've finally noticed you, Bucky!) and she puts on a mask with a red handprint. As you do. Two guys on the roof of truck 2, pull Bucky up ready to beat him silly.

Super strong girl, jumps over to truck two and punches Bucky some more. The Redwing zooms over and she jumps up, grabs it, and smashes it over her knee.

"I always wanted to do that," Bucky says, sad he didn't get the chance.

Sam shows up, there are more guys on the roof of the other truck. And there's fighting and fighting and then Sam is pinned down and the bad guy gets plonked with the shield and here comes Captain Poppins dropping down out of a helicopter. What timing. The CGI and green screen for this whole sequence are pretty dire. I'm sorry but it's true.

Captain Poppins is joined by his buddy Hoskins. "Sam. John Walker, Captain America." They know who you are, goober. Though, pausing to introduce yourself in the middle of the fight is a very Steve Rogers move, so points for that, Goober.

Lol, the look on Bucky's face when he catches the shield and Goober takes it from him. He's like 'rule two, rule two, rule two, remember rule two.'

Lots of fighting lots of fighting. Bucky is knocked off the side of the truck, he digs in and sort of zippers down the side, and then hangs off the bottom, his head inches from a tire, clinging to the underside by his vibranium arm. A bad guy stomps on it. Um, it's vibranium, guy. Like … though, somehow it works? and Bucky's arm sort of flops onto the road, sending up sparks. Sam does a neat little move, flies under the two trucks, grabbing Bucky as he goes, and knocking them both free.  None of that worked out particularly well, guys.

"Could have used that shield," Bucky says helpfully. lol. "Those were all super soldiers, Sam." Well, bummer.

Back on the trucks, I think Hoskins is in trouble. Cap Goober is pulling himself back up. Hoskins is thrown from the truck, but Cap Goober tosses the shield and Hoskins lands on that. Now Goober squares off against super soldier chick. He does not fare well. And he's thrown from the truck to land on the windshield of a following car. You know, if I'm driving down the road and I see people fighting on a pair of big rigs, I don't follow close. You know what I'm saying? I maybe pull over and let them get way far away from me. Anyway, sorry for your body damage.

Bucky and Sam walk along the road, a pair of sad sad heroes who did not have a plan.

"I'm sorry about Redwing." "No, you're not."

Cap Goober turns up in a sorry looking vehicle of some sort. "So that didn't go as planned." Bucky and Sam keep walking. lol

So Goober's vehicle keeps pace with the disaster duo. "We're pretty sure it's one of the Big Three."

Bucky: "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS WIZARDS!" That's his hill, he'll die on it.

Since it's super soldiers, and that's bad news, Cap Goober thinks they should work together. Sam's quiet but not thrilled. Bucky is not quiet. "Just 'cause you carry that shield, it doesn't mean you're Captain America."

Cap Goober has apparently jumped on a grenade 4 times. "It's a thing I do with my helmet. It's reinforced." Okay, I laughed.

He persuades them to ride with him, because it's like 20 miles to the airport. It's probably for the best, since I'm pretty sure they might try to strangle each other in five.

"They (Flag Haters Anonymous) say their mission is to get things back to the way they were during the blip." This group's goals are so hazy and weird.

oh, lol. Sam wanted to know how they tracked the Flag Smashers, and Hoskins is like, um, actually, we tracked redwing. "It's not exactly hacking," Captain Goober explains, "it's government property. We're kind of the government." Not winning any points, Goober.

Bucky's just glaring at him.  "Does he always just stare like that?" lol

We get a bit of exposition about a group called the GRC, the Global Repatriation Council, which is tasked with helping the previously blipped reintegrate. Sam's like, okay, and? Hoskins explains "they provide the resources, and we keep things stable." The GRC sounds even more make believe than super soldiers, to be honest. But, whatever. Not here to analyze the bizarre and unlikely geopolitics of the MCU. Cap Goober makes a pitch for Sam and Bucky to sign up but Bucky is very firm about his "No".

Hoskins insists he has mad respect for them, but they were getting their asses kicked until he and goober showed up. Um, Hoskins, my dude, you also got your ass kicked.

Bucky stares for a second. "Who are you?" "Lamar Hoskins." Sam insists he needs more than that. "I'm Battlestar. John's partner."

Bucky says Mm hmm. Stop the car. And he's gone.

Cap Goober gives a pitch to Sam about how he's not trying to be Steve, or replace him, he's just trying to do his best and be the best Captain America he can, and it'd be great to have Cap's 'wingmen' on his side. I sense sincerity, but you're still punchable, goober. And Sam isn't buying it either. He shakes his head and laughs bitterly, "It's always that last line." He hops out and follows Bucky.

Elsewhere, the super terrorists have reached a safe house with a way too chatty dude who is trying to make them at home in his dicey looking shopfront. He rattles on about how they're becoming legends and the people love them because they're pushing back! Against … the GRC? I guess?

Super soldier girl (Karli) gets a hate text. "You took what is mine. I'm going to find you and kill you." Well, sleep tight, sister!

One of the other guys has already logged into a computer system and he starts hacking and wiping their info off the internets and interpol, I guess.

"Six months ago would you have imagined people supporting a cause like this?" I'm still very unclear on what your cause is.

Maybe I'm overthinking the silly superhero universe, but I can't imagine the blip world was wonderful. You're missing half the people. So half of everybody who'd do various jobs. So half of the knowledge base of humanity on earth. Half of the experience base of humanity on earth. Half of the farmers, half of the engineers, half of the doctors, half of the people who maintain any system you can imagine, half of the people who build those systems, half of the teachers, half of the factory workers, half of the grandparents who pass down stories and community knowledge, half of the animals, half of the fish, half of the insects and so half of the plants. Ecosystems could easily collapse. Certainly infrastructure did, with half of the people needed to maintain it gone. Cities would have started to crumble, since half of the sources of goods, food, and services were gone. (we did have something of a real-world equivalent in Europe during the Black Death. Things were not nice for quite a long while after the worst years of the plague.)

I'm sure there would be areas that did better than others. But, half of any government gone, half of any police, half of any military. There would be power vacuums and probably shitheads to fill them. I don't see any particular utopia in a blip-ified world.

And that's not even taking into account the psychological damage to all the unblipped. The pure existential horror of half of everything suddenly gone.

But, that aside. I like genuinely do not know what they're trying to achieve.  

"We're not playing no more," announces Karli. "We can't let the same assholes who were put back in power after the Blip win." Literally do not know what that means. "The GRC care more about the people who came back than the ones who never left." I mean … isn't that literally what they're for? "We got a glimpse of how things could be." Chaotic and apocalyptic? In fairness, I guess if you could carve out your own thing in that, and maybe it could even be good, then you'd be bitter if everybody came back all of a sudden and messed that up. I'm sure the power struggles are real.

"One world! One people!" Okaly-dokaly. Fascinated to see how you eight will achieve that.

Bucky's brooding on a plane, Sam's trying to sleep but the brooding is too much to ignore.

"You alright?" "Let's take the shield, Sam. Let's take the shield and do this ourselves." He's using his almost scary Winter Soldier voice. And staring into the void. Sam, call his doctor. She needs to remind him of rules one and two. "We can't just run up on a man, beat him up, and take it." Good point, Sam. For real, call Bucky's doctor. He's going to the scary illegal place.

"Do you remember what happened the last time we stole it?" "Maybe." lol such a petulant little grumpus you are, Bucky. "I'll help you in case you forgot. Sharon was branded an enemy of the state and Steve and I were on the run for two years." Not everybody was lucky enough to have a goat farm during all that, Bucky. That's what the man's saying.

"We just got our ass handed to us by super soldiers and we got nothing." "That's not entirely true," Bucky says mysteriously. And he jumps down off his brooding crate to go sit next to Sam. "There is someone that you should meet."

Baltimore, Maryland

Sam has a cute aside with a neighborhood kid, then Bucky leads him up to a house that has seen better days. Somebody answers the door and Bucky says they're there to see Isaiah. But, the young guy who answers the door insists there's no Isaiah there. He's not very welcoming. Bucky says "tell him the guy from the bar in Goyang is here." The things you got up to, Bucky. I do wonder. "We had a skirmish during the Korean war." oh, lol. I mean, I'm sure it's a horrible story, but lol, Bucky you disaster.

Oh hey, Carl Lumbly! Gosh, I haven't seen him in an age. I almost didn't recognize him.

"He was a hero. One of the ones that Hydra feared the most. Like Steve. We met in '51." "If by met, you mean I whupped your ass, then, yeah." lol

Isaiah says he took part of Bucky's arm in Goyang and he just wanted to see if it grew back. And if Bucky was there to kill him. Bucky says he's not a killer anymore.

"You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be?" Well, sure. "It doesn't work like that." Oh, but it must, or else what's the point? Isaiah has a lot of reasons to be bitter, though. 

"Isaiah, the reason we're here, is because there's more of you and me out there. And we need to know how."

This does not please Isaiah, who doesn't want to talk and throws a can of sardines (or something, I don't know what that was) through the wall. Old but still super solidery.

"You know what they did to me for being a hero? They put my ass in jail for 30 years." Um, wow. "People running tests, taking my blood, coming into my cell. Even your people weren't done with me." Well, that's deeply uncool. He very much wants his unwelcome guests to GFO, and I can't say I blame him.  

Sam is super pissed once they get out onto the street. "Why didn't you tell me about Isaiah?" Bucky doesn't answer. "I asked you a question, Bucky." Yikes.

And no, Steve never knew, because Bucky never told him. "So you're telling me there was a black super soldier decades ago and nobody knew about it?" I guess so.

And we're interrupted by a bizarre random encounter with presumably racist cops. They stop them in the street, get weird about asking for ID, and then ask Bucky, "is this guy bothering you?" And Bucky's like what in the actual fuck, he looks like a high school chem teacher and I look like the muscle for a loan shark, "no he's not bothering me. Do you know who he is?" Oh to be the Winter Soldier again for just a moment, eh? Anyway, one of the dipshits recognizes Sam and they get all dipshitty apologetic. "oh, Mr. Wilson, we're so sorry."

Oh, lol, they're going to arrest Bucky. There's a warrant out for him, because he missed his therapy session. I told somebody to call his therapist! I want to know which of those dipshits ran Sam and Bucky for wants. Because that’s not automatic or some shit, somebody’s got to call it in. 

Sam's like 'well that took a weird turn.'

Sam and Dr Raynor meet at whatever facility they’re holding Bucky. "Thanks for getting him out." "That was not me," the doctor assures him. Nope, it was Captain Goober, who greets the doctor with a wave. "Christina! It's great to see you again." lol. And Sam's day gets worse.

"I heard you were working with Bucky and thought I'd step in. Bucky's not going to be working on a strict schedule any longer." 

She's like, uh what? Says who? And he points at himself. okay, again, lol. Though, it’s weird to me how he insists on calling Bucky ‘Bucky’, like they’re buddies. They’re not buddies. Bucky's going to punch him in the face. 

"He's too valuable an asset to have him tied up. So just do whatever you've got to do with him, then send him off to me." Will Bucky turn around and go right back into his holding cell?

Dr's not going to let him. "James, condition of your release, session now. You too, Sam." "That's okay. I'll be out here with…" "That wasn't a request." Poor Sam. He has had THE WORST DAY.

I love Bucky slouching against the sergeant's desk all surly, like a 16 year old who got busted for boosting his grandmother's car.

Dr Raynor settles them all in what I assume is an interrogation room. She tells Bucky she just wants to help him get over whatever is eating at him. I guess she figures Sam could help with that, too?

"We're going to do an exercise. It's something I use with couples when they are trying to figure out what kind of life they want to build together." lol. but of course. a million fic writers deliriously rush to their keyboards.  

"Are you familiar with the miracle question?" "Absolutely not." "Of course not." heh "Okay, it goes like this. Suppose that while you're sleeping, a miracle occurs. When you wake up, what is something that you would like to see that would make your life better?"

Bucky says his miracle would be Sam talking less. Sam says that's what he was going to say. Dr Raynor is writing fic of her own. "You guys are leaving me no choice. It's time for the soul-gazing exercise." This is the weirdest therapy session ever.

Bucky is very on board. Sam's like 'what have you done? staring? that's his thing!'

"Let's do it. Let's stare. This is a good exercise. Thanks, doc." Bucky, you little asshole. lol

How many takes to do this scene? I can tell they're trying not to laugh. "Take 57. It's 1:30 am, guys. Please, can we get it this time?"

"Wait, what are you doing? Are you having a staring contest?" What about these two men's attitudes walking into the room suggested they were going to be at all mature about this, Doc?

"James, why does Sam aggravate you? And don't say something childish." She knows you too well, Buck.

Oh, Bucky. He wants to know why Sam gave up the shield, because Steve believed in him, gave him the shield for a reason. But, maybe Steve was wrong about Sam and if he was wrong about Sam, then he was wrong about Bucky.

Sam, has his reasons. He says maybe Bucky and Steve can't understand, but he wants to know if Bucky can accept that he did what he thought was right. Poor Sam.

And Sam's had enough. He says they've got bigger shit going on and he'll put whatever this issue is aside for now, and they'll go take care of that, and then he and Bucky can never see each other again. "Thanks doc, for making it weird. I feel much better."

She's like, well shit.

Bucky leaves as well, but she stops him. "I know that look. What's wrong?" "What was rule two again?" "Don't hurt anyone." "Goodbye, doc."

I think maybe she miscalculated a tiny bit.

"I feel better," Sam grumbles. "I feel awful," Bucky sighs.

And down the street Captain Goober and Hoskins starts chirping a police siren at them and they wave them over. "Gentlemen!" I really want Bucky to punch him just once.

Goober wants them to join forces. They're tracking Karli through various displaced communities in Europe.  She's the flag stompers leader, I guess? She's like … 16. DOUBT.

Anyway, she's do-goodering by stealing medicine and taking it to the displaced camps. I'm confused. So, post-blip, people who'd not blipped are now suddenly being displaced? I thought the displaced where the blipped trying to reintegrate. But, she was mad at the GRC for only caring about the blipped not the unblipped (which, again is the GRC's raison d'être, so yes?). I feel like I'm missing something.

Bucky snarks at Goober a bit. He's not a fan at all. "Things are really intense for you, aren't they, Walker?" 

Sam's like okay, let's all simmer down. "It is imperative that we find them and stop them." But, also, though, he and Bucky are free agents, so they're more flexible than mister "i'm the government" over there.

Captain Goober doesn't care for that. "Word of advice, then. Stay the hell out of my way." Don't push your luck, goober.

Bratislava, Slovakia

Flag Stompers loading a small plane. Uh oh, they've been found out! Karli asks how much time they have. "None. It's the Power Broker's men." The Power Broker. See, that's the kind of jackassery you get in a Blip scenario. That's what I'm talking about. Did you steal super soldier serum from this guy, Karli? Hmmm? One noble Flag Stomper offers to stay behind and hold them off while they make their escape, for One World! One People! Dream big, kid.

He knocks down a power pole to block the road but then he runs at the badder guys? And gets himself shot a zillionty times. I … he'd already blocked the road? Why not just … you know what? Never mind.

Back to Bucky and Sam and Bucky with an idea that might just be worse than the self-sacrificing Flag Stomper's run-at-the-badder-guys-for-great-justice idea. He suggests that perhaps somebody who knows all of Hydra's secrets can give them the answers they need. 

"So you're just going to go sit in a room with this guy?" "Ye-… yes," Bucky says, absolutely oozing with confidence.

Off to see Zemo! I'm sure that will go terribly! Can't wait!

And Credits!

Not gonna lie. I'm not sure how I feel about this episode. It felt a little disjointed.

I don't get the Flag Munchers, but I'm thinking they're just a red herring. Because they're basically utopian idealist twelve-year olds with nice but vague goals and vague iffy means to achieve those goals. I don't feel they're a whole lot more than some misguided kids who grew up in a blipped world and change is difficult and scary (and I’m sure it’s probably managed poorly. I can’t think of anything less efficient than a global council for anything. you could have a global council for dirt and it would be a bureaucratic nightmare). And they probably stole super soldier serum from somebody way scarier. Dummies. I think they're going to need to be rescued at some point. Probably soonish.

As for that other guy. There's moments where I like John Walker a little bit, and moments where I find him really aggravating. I get they want to make him the super-duper bestest perfectest hero, or that’s why he was chosen by the DoD or whatever, but part of Steve's charm was he wasn't perfect. He wasn't Captain America because he won a million awards, he was Cap because he had a good heart. That's the point. THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD BE CAP, SAM!

Also, I don't like hard feelings between Sam and Bucky. Though, nothing about their history would suggest an easy friendship (one time Sam was driving in his car and Bucky ripped the damn steering wheel out), so that's not a complaint, it just makes me sad. They really only have a connection because of Steve and he's gone. Be friends, guys!

And finally, when will Sharon Carter return from being an enemy of the state?

[iamtaekooked]

If We Knew || Kth

Synopsis: When your boss suggests her son is a good match for you, you had no idea just how right she is. 

(or alternatively the one where you know each other but don’t know that you know each other) 

Genre: romance, lots of fluffy moments and smut (I tried man)

Word count: 32k (longest piece I have ever written) 

A/N: Been a while people! I am excited to get back to writing.This got deleted somehow. But I am reposting this on the request one sweet anon. I hope you like it friend! I really like it and I hope you guys do too. Also shoutout to @mygsii​  for helping me with the smut and to @megahwn​ for being an awesome beta reader! ALSO I JUST FINISHED NURSING SCHOOL. HAD MY LAST DAY OF FINAL PRACTICUM AND I PASSED AND YOUR GIRL IS ONE MORE STEP CLOSER TO BEING AN RN!!!

“Why can’t you do it?” Nina asks as she sits down in front of you, snatching your phone from your hand so you can’t be distracted and avoid her (which is something you desperately want to do). You huff as you regard her silently, communicating to her that if she doesn’t give you your phone back, or better yet stop pestering about the stupid app you will kill her. 

If she was your best friend, it would be one thing. But Nina, unfortunately, is the cousin from hell who is the spawn of the devil. When your aunt told you she would stay with you over the summer you didn’t think she would actually end up staying the whole summer. Or that it would extend beyond the summer and into fall and then next year into winter, then spring until she came one full circle with summer a year later.

“It’s enough that my boss keeps trying to push her son on me. Now you’re doing it too. Let me fucking live” 

“I am not pushing your boss’s son on you. I don’t even know that guy. I am however telling you that you should sign up for this app because it is legit. It’s not your traditional dating app. You meet people and you can either become friends, network with people who have similar interests or go for dating. It’s your choice. Plus there are no conditions on this app. It’s confidential until you feel comfortable enough to reveal yourself. My best friend found the love of her life through it. I swear” she pinches the skin of her throat as a gesture of her oath. 

“I don’t want to date” you deadpan. 

“Only married people are supposed to say that. You” she points to you and shakes her head. “You are not married. You are young, and sexy, and hot and any guy would love to get into your pants” 

“Is that what you think I want?” you fold your elbows atop the table and lean towards her, thoroughly curious about her thought process. 

“I am not saying you want to be fucked y/n” her voice is a little too loud and her words a little too indecent to be uttered in a coffee shop. People within your vicinity turn their heads to look at the two of you. You sheepishly duck your head so as not to feel even more embarrassed than you already do. “All I am saying is, give it a try. You might find a decent guy” 

“Is there really such a thing as a ‘decent guy’ nowadays and that too on this money-grabbing, and bullshit app?” 

She observes you silently. “Tsk Tsk. Is this the moment where you go off about how stupid dating apps are and how they glorify the societal belief that superficial beauty is superior to personality and perpetuating the idea that women are good for fucking, and being used?”

“It’s true. Yet you are sitting here telling me to be a part of the herd. Millennials seriously are stupid” you shake your head. 

“Give me a legit reason other than this righteous bullshit” she folds her hands across her chest. 

“Oh my fucking god. That is my reason. I don’t want to because I hate it”

“Oh my fucking god” she mocks your tone. “That doesn’t count” 

“Nina, I swear to the heavens if I don’t have my phone back in thirty seconds I am going to kill you” 

She waves you off. “You’re too nice for that. Now stop changing the damn subject and tell me you will sign up” 

“Give me my phone back” you bite through your teeth, nostrils flaring.

“Fine” she extends the phone towards you and just as you are about to reach for it she pulls her hand back. “First tell me that you’ll make a profile for this app” 

You roll your eyes. “Yes, you insufferable being. I will make a profile. Now my phone please” 

She eyes you warily for a brief moment as if trying to seek out any signs of you lying. But then she thinks the better of it. “You better do it” she hands you the phone. 

You take it and pocket the device. “I will see you later at home” 

“You better fucking do it y/n” you hear her shrill voice as you exit the coffee shop and you are sure that definitely turned heads. 

When you were seven all you wanted was to be seventeen. When you were seventeen all you wanted was to be an actual adult and not a teenager because you were sick of being labelled rebellious and moody by adults all the time. Little did you know as a seven and seventeen-year-old that being an adult comes with responsibilities--like paying your own phone bill, paying rent for your house, paying hydro bills, taxes and everything else that the government could possibly take from you. 

The only way you can afford to stay afloat and manage to have some money left over to spend is because you work for a boss who is smitten with you. Because she likes you so much your salary package actually comes with a lot of bonus perks. It’s the only reason you still work for her. She’s a really nice lady but the one thing she lacks is self-restraint when it comes to her son and you. 

The first day you started working at the company, you remember how she called you in her office. You thought she would want to talk to you about something work-related but instead, she showed you pictures of her son and gushed about him for an hour. While all you could do was focus on the papers piling on your desk. 

Mrs. K as she likes to be called is surely a very wealthy woman and like a stereotypical wealthy woman, she loves to play matchmaker. She’s been trying to get you and her son together (whose name you always forget because you couldn’t care less)

As soon as you sit down on your desk your phone rings and her name flashes on the tiny screen of the line. With a sigh you pick it up. 

“Y/n dear, I see that you are back from your lunch” 

“Yes. Mrs.K” you smile into the phone. 

“Will you please come to my office for one moment dear?” 

There is a moment of hesitancy as you fall silent. You have an inkling as to what this could be about and you really don’t want to go. But given that she is the woman who pays you and handsomely too, you don’t have much of a choice. 

“I will be there Mrs.K” you try your best to sound as excited by it as possible.

Sometimes you wonder if having been in the business of producing cheesy TV shows for decades has had an impact on the old woman. Or maybe she really is a stereotypical wealthy woman who now that she has made something of herself, doesn’t have any other occupation than seeing her son start his own family. 

Your thoughts provide for a good distraction as you reach her office. You stand tentatively outside the door, wondering if you should knock. But before you have the chance to further dwell on it the door opens to reveal Mrs K. herself. 

“Come on in dear!” she ushers you inside quickly 

“How are you?” you question as she guides you to the very comfortable looking couches on one side of the room. “Are these new?” you point to the posh sofas. 

“Yes, my son bought them for me. I suppose as a present or maybe a bribe. He’s been buying me a lot of things lately” she laughs obnoxiously. 

“A bribe?” You frown in confusion at her remark. 

“Let’s just say that he is not a fan of my imposition on him to settle down. He thinks buying me things would somehow earn him some sliver of freedom from it. But all I want is what is best for him” she sits down opposite you and gestures for you to take a seat as well. 

You respond with an awkward laugh because you don’t know how else to reply. You can understand why he would want to get out of it. “So is he going to earn his sliver of freedom..?” you trail with a tone of anticipation. 

She laughs in a deflective way as she waves you off. “I called you here because I want to ask your honest opinion of my son” 

“With all due respect Mrs. K I don’t know your son so-”

“So get to know him then” she says airily. “He’s coming to visit in a few days. I would love it if you two met. I am not saying this because he’s my son but he’s a catch” she winks which makes you laugh. 

“I-” you begin and stop upon noticing how hopeful and excited she looks. “Sure” 

“Great!” she claps excitedly

The things you have to do to make sure you don’t piss your boss off. 

“You what!?” you look at Nina in disbelief. 

“I signed you up for that app” she replies putting all her focus on applying the nail polish to her toes and ignoring you.

“I told you I didn’t want to!” 

She looks up at you with a straight face. “So, you lied” 

“Yes. Because it’s my choice!” 

She stops her ministrations and places the tiny bottle of nail polish down on the table. “Too bad y/n” she shrugs casually because she probably can’t see the problem with her actions. “You’re all signed up and well I paid for it so you can’t really cancel until a few days” 

“You just wasted your money” you flop into the sofa, limbs falling over the edges. 

Just then your phone vibrates and you pick it  up. It’s a notification from the ‘Swipe’ app. Who even names their app Swipe? 

You’re in the midst of opening your phone when it’s snatched from you by Nina. Again.

“Hey!” you yell in protest. 

“Sorry cous” she shrugs and runs towards the bathroom just as you begin to get up from your comfortable spot. 

“Nina give my phone back or I will kill you!” 

“You’ll thank me for this!”she yells . Then you hear the sound of the door shutting and it prompts you to run after her. 

“Why are you being an ass?” you pound on the door with your fist 

“I am just helping you” comes her relaxed voice. 

“You fucking suck!” you groan and give up hitting your fist against the door because it starts to hurt. 

A second later she is opening the door, waving your phone in her hand with a mischievous grin on her face. “Talk to him” she throws your phone at you and then strides by as if it’s all part of your normal living routine. 

You fumble as you catch your phone. “Talk to who?” you look after her. 

“The hottie” she looks at you over her shoulder and then disappears up the stairs and into her bedroom. 

“What the fuck?” you flip your phone and come across an open chat, a ‘hi’ already sent. 

Your eyes flicker to the tiny profile picture at the top of the screen. You can’t really see the guy’s face because it’s covered by a black hat. You click on it and it enlarges, yet you still can’t make out his face because the image is so pixelated. Despite yourself, you find your curiosity piqued by the mysterious stranger. 

You swipe to his profile which reads: 

Art connoisseur, wine taster, dog lover. Classical music is a comfort for my soul. Grew up in LA but made it on my own in New York. 

Three things strike you as you read his profile: he sounds and (going by his photo) he looks like he’s probably rich. Normal people with regular jobs don’t talk about art and wine like it’s their occupation. Second, he likes classical music and so do you, and he grew up in LA and so did you. Third, even though in none of his pictures his face is visible what does become clear is that he is definitely a man of refined tastes. 

He’s got pictures of himself in various museums with his back facing the camera and The Starry Night and Mona Lisa making an appearance in the background as he presumably admires the beautiful masterpieces. He's got pictures of a dog, you assume his, which is the cutest dog you have laid eyes on. It’s a Black and Tan Pomeranian with the cutest face. 

Your attention is stolen by a notification that appears at the top of your screen. You find yourself directed to the messages and staring back at you is a ‘hey’ by the art connoisseur guy whose username weirdly is ‘icedtea’. What kind of dating app allows usernames like that? 

You blink at your screen and then shut your phone, too tired and exhausted to respond. In fact, you don’t even know if you want to respond or if you have any interest in all of this dating crap. 

It’s at this moment you regret you aren’t seventeen and hence can’t indulge in simple pleasures of life like feelings and dating. Because if you were seventeen you would have talked to him and grabbed the opportunity. Because if you were seventeen you would let yourself be swept off your feet by him or by any other man. Because when you were seventeen you let yourself fall in love. 

But all of it seems like a scam anyway, especially this guy. So maybe it’s not such a bad thing to feel so removed from it. Or maybe that’s just another excuse not to open yourself up to a wider world and explore wider horizons as Nina puts it.

Saturday nights are supposed to be relaxing. They are supposed to be the one day you get to yourself. The one day you can be free of your boss’s incessant nagging about how you and her son would be the perfect couple and how you would have beautiful babies together. It’s the one day you don’t have a shit ton of work to do and you can put your feet up on the table, grab popcorn and watch horror movies all night long. After all there is nothing like horror movies to de-stress from real life horror called ‘work’. It’s a counterintuitive approach and it works. It’s for cathartic purposes which why you do it despite disapproving looks from Nina. 

“You’re so fucking weird cous” she drawls, dipping her hand into the popcorn bowl resting on your lap and taking a handful of it, and spilling some on you. You pick each kernel from your lap and throw it at her. She isn’t fazed by it at all and keeps her eyes glued to the TV. 

“I thought this is fucking weird” you scowl at her and then focus your attention to the movie. 

“I can still enjoy popcorn,” she says in her usual monotone voice. “Besides, I wouldn’t expect anything exciting from you. Like texting the app guy instead of watching a movie” she pops a few kernels in her mouth like a savage, smearing butter all over her mouth. 

Your brows furrow in distaste. “Why can’t you be more… gentle” 

“Because I am masculine and gay” 

You choke which makes her start laughing. “You are!?” you gawk at her. 

“No. Chill. I just like mess you fucking weirdo” a crooked smile forms on her lips. 

“Asshole” you throw a kernel at her which hits her cheek. She is yet unfazed by it. “I think your dick disappeared in the womb” you remark at her tomboyish ways which there is nothing wrong with except she doesn’t have a shred of gracefulness in her despite coming from a long line of ballerina’s. 

“I know” she grabs another handful and shoves it in her mouth. “Anyway” her voice is unclear as she is in the middle of chewing. “The guy from the app. Have you texted him back?” she rubs her hands on her PJ’s. 

You restrain yourself from commenting on her unhygienic ways. “No I haven’t” 

“What the fuck are you waiting for? Christmas? It's been more than 24 hours” she looks at you incredulously, disbelief painted on her face clear as day. 

“He looks sketchy as fuck” you turn to her. 

She guffaws. “Really, cous. You should be the last person passing judgements on men. The last time you were with a guy was when you were seventeen fucking years old” 

“Yeah. So?” you shrug, feeling offended by her remark. 

“So” she turns her body towards you, placing one foot underneath her knee, sitting partially cross legged. “You are highly unqualified to make that statement. Why do you think I picked him? I know my men” 

“It’s a wonder you haven’t died of syphilis” 

She rolls her eyes very dramatically and sighs as if she’s about to give up. But then she settles back and regards you in silence. Before you know what’s happening she is grabbing your phone, and unlocking it. 

“What are you doing?” you extend an arm across her body to reach for your phone. But she stretches her arm further out of your reach. 

“Stop resisting. Trust me you and this guy will hit it off and then you can finally get laid. I can tell he’s a freak in the sheets” she furiously types and waits and then types again. 

Sometimes you can’t believe how she strings words together. The things that come out of her mouth will make her poor mother faint. She has no clue she gave birth to the literal spawn of the devil. 

“Whatever” you sigh and settle back because there is no point in arguing with her. You would rather not waste any more precious time on her and her stupid antics. 

“Here” she throws your phone at you and it lands in your lap. “He’s a fucking catch y/n. Cast your net” she winks. 

You look at your phone to find a picture of the cute Pomerian from before. The caption underneath the picture reads “Yeontan”. To your horror you scroll up to find the cheesiest and most disgusting pick up line in the history of pick up lines. 

It reads: 

Bananamilk: Hey are you art? Because I could look at you all day long ;)))))

Icedtea: Are you religious? Because you are the answer to all my prayers

It's highly mortifying, to say the least. How does she even think of these things? You seriously wonder what goes on in her head. She'll definitely land herself in trouble. But there are more pressing concerns to think of because the art connoisseur guy has sent another picture. You scroll down the chat and find a picture of a dog standing on two paws and the other two held up in air.

Icedtea: can you tell I love my dog?

You have no choice but to text back because Nina is right there and if you don’t she will pester you. 

Bananamilk: I sure can :) He's cute too.

Icedtea: How did you know he's a he?

Bananamilk: lucky guess?

You see the three ellipses showing that he's typing so you quickly turn to Nina, who has already changed the movie to some weird random action flick.

"Hey asshole" you throw a pillow at her.

"Yes, weirdo?" she looks from the TV screen to you.

"Why does this scam of an app not have our real names as our users and why did you not use a proper picture of me?" you frown at her.

"Welcome to the 21st century" she offers sarcastically. Of course, what else can you really expect from her? "It's because they offer that as a choice for people who don’t want to share everything on the first try because it’s not a dating app. I told you you can choose what you wanna do. Also, I used that hiking picture of you because well blonde hair looked better on you and those glasses suit you. I thought you wouldn't like showing your face and me putting your name down, so I chose the next best thing"

"Banana milk?" you raise a brow at her, not even trying to hide the judgemental tone behind that comment.

"Hey! banana milk is the best kind of milk okay? Stop being a judgemental bitch"

You chuckle at her expression which screams she's offended. "Thanks anyway. At least you don't completely lack humanity"

“That’s a step up from calling me spawn of the devil” she chuckles, returning her focus to the TV.

Just then your phone vibrates and for some damn reason, your heart skips a beat. You feel your lips tugging at the corners and hurriedly open the text.

Icedtea: I see you also like classical music.

Bananamilk: I love it

Icedtea: it's so much better than all this garbage people spew out and label as music these days

Bananamilk: Right? I've had so many debates about it with people around me and everyone just calls me insipid and biddy.

Icedtea: I take offense to this. Classical music is anything but boring. What's your favourite piece?

Bananamilk: I have a lot but I love Tchaikovsky'Swan Lake. What about you?

Icedtea: That sure is a classic. I might be cliche but I like Beethoven's 7th symphony.

Bananamilk: That isn’t cliche at all. It sure is one of the best ones out there. You have great taste

Icedtea: Thank you m’lady. What else do you like?

Bananamilk: I firmly hold the belief that I was born in the wrong century. But when in Rome live like Romans right?. So...Netflix. 

Icedtea: I knew that was coming. No conversation is complete without Netflix. It’s the new status quo 

Bananamilk: It is and I HATE the status quo but Netflix is sort of amazing? 

Icedtea: Have you watched The Witcher yet?

Bananamilk: I devoured it when it came out. I would never pass on any Henry Cavill show or movie. The man is ethereal and he should be illegal 

Somehow talking to this stranger isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. He’s actually kind of sweet and you do share interests in common. Maybe Nina-- the spawn of the devil, is actually onto something. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. Maybe you can pretend to be seventeen for a little while longer. 

Icedtea: i have to agree with you on that 

Bananamilk: Oh? 

Icedtea: Not like that. Like I said in my profile I am an art connoisseur. Would I be wrong in saying that Mr. Henry Cavill is art? I appreciate beauty when I see it. I don’t discriminate or be sexist about it. 

Bananamilk: You’re right he is a piece of art. A goddamn fine piece of art. 

Icedtea: You’re funny 

A laugh escapes past your lips at his compliment making Nina’s attention shift towards you. 

“Careful y/n, don’t fall in love too fast” her voice cuts through and pulls you out of your immersed state. 

You shoot her a disapproving look. “Only you would say something as irrationly idiotic as that” 

“The smile on your face a minute ago said otherwise” she shrugs. 

“You’re hallucinating”

“Sure. Whatever you say” she snorts. 

You both end up softly chuckling to yourself. 

You spend the rest of the night talking to V. It’s what he tells you to call him. At first you found it weird but you felt it too early to probe and pry about his personal life. You figure it must have some meaning for him to ask you to call him that. You end up telling him to call you whatever he wishes and he chooses m’lady, because apparently he is a gentleman and in his words “also born in the wrong century”. 

Iced tea: I hated growing up in LA. Worst place ever. Really blows your self esteem to pieces. That’s why I moved to New York 

Bananamilk: It’s all about validation at that godforsaken place. 

Icedtea: Right? I am so glad I got out of that place.  

Bananamilk: Me too. One more year there and I would have lost it. Btw why is your username icedtea? Just curious 

Icedtea: I love iced tea. That’s why. When I have to go to these company parties and interact with rich white men, I fool them into thinking I am drinking alcohol and joining the status quo. But it’s actually iced tea. It looks like alcohol anyway so why not?

Bananamilk: I like intellectuals. You sir, sure are one 

Icedtea: Thank you m’lady. I suppose you love banana milk?

Bananamilk: Uhhh… i guess you can say so 

You lose track of time as you keep texting back and forth, coming to a point where you are just exchanging puns and one liners but then sleep begins to lay heavy in your eyes and the curtain of your lashes starts closing. The last thing you see is a ‘good night’ text from V with a purple heart. 

You wake up to a text from V. The initial pleasant feeling comes as a surprise even to you because you didn’t expect to feel so -- special, dare anyone say. It turns out to be a gif of the very sexy Henry Cavill wishing you good morning. 

Bananamilk: awww you remembered? 

Icedtea: Ofcourse, I did :) A very good morning to you

Bananamilk: Good morning to you too 

Icedtea: I am actually heading out so won’t be able to talk much until I get there

Bananamilk: me neither. I am sure a huge pile of work is waiting for me at work

You drag yourself out of the bed, feeling slightly disappointed and dreadful for two reasons. One that you have to go to the doctor. Second, you won’t get much chance to talk to this very pleasing stranger you have actually started to take a liking to. It’s only because you have things in common with him that you feel drawn to him. 

Or that’s what gives you comfort when your mind reminds you there is something else happening too— something a little uncomfortable called ‘feelings’

But you’re dead set on believing that it’s because you share commonalities. 

At least that’s what you tell yourself in moments when your mind isn’t preoccupied by anything and he pops into your head. 

Like when you’re going through paperwork, and nothing particularly is keeping you engaged, conversations with him flash in your head. In particular, the fluttery feeling that rose to your chest yesterday morning when you saw his username appear on your screen and then a very sweet good morning text. 

You have never in twenty whole three years of your life received good morning texts. Not even from Woohyun who you were with when you were seventeen. Up until recently you were sure he was your one true love. But somehow that perception is beginning to change. Because a man named V who resides in the Apple city is slowly but surely showing you what a man actually interested in you will do. 

So is it really your fault that your chest feels light, your stomach feels tight when you think of him? Is it really your fault that you are in such a good mood? So much so, that when Nina flings the door and walks into your office unannounced you greet her with a smile instead of having a full blown dramatic altercation.

“Woah” she stops in her tracks when she notices your smile. “Where the fuck is y.n?” 

“Uhhhh….” you put the papers down. “Right here” you point to yourself. 

“No that’s not her” she deadpans. “Did she finally die?”

“Wow” you huff. “Anyway, did you get bored of hell?” 

“Hell doesn’t need me right now” she waves you off. You love how you jab at each other but never take it seriously. That’s what you love about her. Ofcourse, you don’t hate her but somehow taking digs at each other has just become the norm. Multiple times people have asked you if you guys really hate each other, and both of you reply positively to those claims, because they don’t need to know that you truly do like each other. “I am here to inquire about you and lover boy” 

“L-Lover boy?” your brows furrow. “I don’t even know if it’s a boy. For all I know its a girl and I am falling for a girl” 

“And that’s a problem because…?” she trails off, swivelling in the chair in front of you. 

“There is nothing wrong with being gay. But I just imagine him as a guy and well I am not really.. You know?” 

“I digress. I’ve seen your texts. He’s definitely a guy and charming at that” 

“How the fuck did you see my texts?” you gape at her, unable to believe that she’s actually figured out the password to-- but then you remember she’s opened it up twice when she was forcefully trying to set up your profile and get you to talk to V. How this never occurred to you, you don’t know. 

“I sneaked into your room at like 5 am, opened it up and read your texts” she says matter-of-factly. 

“Is there ever a wrong thing you don’t involve yourself in?”

“Nope” she shakes her head. “You’re going off track, cousin. Tell me the deets” 

“There are no deets. Why are you asking? You read the texts anyway” you shake your head at her 

“ Not all of them. I have a conscience you know?”

“The Devil has no conscience” you mumble under your breath. “He sent me a good morning text with a Henry Cavill gif captioned good morning” 

Her eyes widen, brows risen. “A guy who doesn’t find your Henry Cavill obsession creepy? Told you he’s a fucking catch” 

You chuckle “How the hell did you find my office?” 

“Simple. I asked around” she purses her lips in a smile. 

“You got your so called deets. Now get out” you offer a sarcastic smile before lowering your head and busying yourself in analyzing the reports in front of you. 

She gasps. “Wow bitch. So much for helping you” she dramatically places a hand on her chest feigning hurt. 

“Get out, asshole” you say in a sing song voice completely avoiding her. 

“I am gonna steal this guy from you” she gives you a dirty look. “Just you watch” 

“He likes classical music” you quip, keeping your eyes focused on the papers in front of you. 

Another gasp fills the air. “Abomination. Nevermind you keep him to yourself. We don’t need that kind of atrocity in the world” 

“Bye” you look up from your desk and flash her a quick smile. 

“Have a horrible day cousin” she waves as she walks away

“Likewise cousin” 

Your phone vibrates and immediately you drop the papers on your desk and reach for it, all preoccupation with work forgotten in a moment. 

Icedtea: Save me 

Bananamilk: you’re supposed to be my knight in shining armour. 

Icedtea: Welcome to the 21st century. 

Bananamilk: People keep telling me that :| Why do you need saving? 

Icedtea: I am flying out to meet my mother today and let's just say she’s a handful

Bananamilk: that’s mothers for you. But then what would we do without them 

Icedtea: thats true. But my mother is on a whole other level. 

Bananamilk: everyone thinks that. I am sure you can handle yourself. You are a big boy. 

Icedtea: how reassuring. 

Bananamilk: I wish I could offer more but sometimes you just have to suck it up. 

Icedtea: I suck at sucking it up

It makes you chuckle. You shake your head at the phone as your fingers furiously type. 

Bananamilk: Do you trust me?

Iced tea: You use big words 

Bananamilk: If you trust me, even just a teeny tiny bit then trust that you will be okay.

Icedtea: Six-ish hours in an airplane. That should be fun

Bananamilk: You will be fine. 

Icedtea: if you say so m’lady. Anyway, I gotta catch my flight. I will talk to you later. Promise. 

Bananamilk: Have a safe flight V :) 

Icedtea: See ya later alligator ;) 

You turn off your phone and lower your head resting it atop your arms on your desk. Somehow you feel giddy. You feel warmth coursing through you, yet a sudden shiver passes through your body. The conversation repeats in your head and you wonder about the face that hides behind the other side of the screen. What does he actually look like? It’s hard when you don’t know, to imagine how he smiles, what he looks like when he laughs, when he frowns. All the emotions he evokes in you, you want to know what they look like on him. 

It’s a strange feeling to behold these feelings, to have them flow through you when you don’t even know who it is on the other side. In a way it’s a recipe for disaster because things like this don’t end well for most people. Yet here you are stuck in a very surreal situation, one you never thought you would find yourself in. 

The rest of the day after your conversation with V, passes by very quickly. It would have dragged on, had it not been for the mood he had managed to put you in. After a while, even the amount of paperwork on your desk couldn’t deter and terrify you. If anything, being able to talk to him after work motivated you to work faster. And working actually distracted you from him which is a good thing because you do need to get work done. So in a way, it worked out either way. 

The day surprisingly ends with Mrs.K not calling you into her office even once. You would feel thankful anytime for this, but especially this particular day you feel grateful because it surely would have put a small damper on your mood. You gather your belongings and head out, glancing at your phone here and there. Has he reached safely? That is the one thought that occupies your head. 

He hasn’t texted you so you think he’s either not landed yet, or he’s busy. You didn’t want to press him for details. Although you do feel like you are at that friendship stage, it only feels like the beginning. So you want to still maintain boundaries as best you can. Just because it’s an online thing doesn’t mean boundaries don’t exist-- a fact many people fail to grasp. 

You mindlessly reach the lobby without even realizing it. You’re stepping out of the elevators when you see Mrs K. walking with a man, her hand hooked in the crook of his elbow. By the looks of it, he appears to be young. He’s definitely tall- close to six feet probably. Something falls out of his pocket as you observe them. You try to call out but decide it’s better to just pick it up and give it to him. 

You jog to where the object has dropped and as you draw closer you realize it’s a piece of paper. You don’t mean to pry but as you pick it up the paper slightly unfolds and curiosity ends up getting the best of you. It’s not like you opened it. It unfolded itself, so you take it upon yourself to straighten out the rest. It’s a beautiful sketch of a girl. She looks like she’s in her twenties. The way he drew her eyes makes it look like she’s holding stars behind them and gives the illusion of them sparkling. Must be someone he likes, or someone he admires. You quickly fold it back, not wanting to further invade the stranger’s privacy. 

“Excuse me!” you call out. 

Mrs. K turns around first and then the young man next to her does the same. His eyes land right on you and feeling his gaze, your eyes flicker from Mrs K. to him. You were right. He is young, and extremely handsome. He’s got permed hair that falls as bangs on his forehead. His black hair is a little grown out as it forms a nape on his neck like a mullet. For a brief second you want to run your hand through his head. He’s even wearing a suit so you imagine he might be a corporate guy. It seems to be perfectly tailored to him, the jacket flaring slightly just above his waist and the pants accentuating his long lean legs. 

Shaking away the thoughts, you approach them. “You dropped this” hand outstretched. You hold out the drawing to him. 

“Thank you” comes his deep voice. It doesn’t match very well with his face because he looks like someone who would have a softer voice. 

“No problem” you smile and he takes the paper from your hand, his fingers gently grazing yours as he does so, and a shiver runs down your spine at the contact. You ignore the sensation and turn to Mrs.K. “Hello Mrs. K.” you greet her holding onto your smile. 

“Y/n! Lovely that we ran into you here.” 

“Y/n?” the young man looks at Mrs. K and then at you with a raised brow

“This is the girl I have been telling you about all along” she looks giddly between you and him. “Y/n this is my son” he unhooks her arm from his elbow and he politely puts his hands together in front of himself. 

Oh so this is him. 

He first offers you a small nod and then extends his hand. “I am Kim Taehyung” 

You look between the mother and son, eyes stopping on the man you know as Taehyung.His name does ring a bell given the countless times it’s been mentioned to you.  “Nice to meet you Taehyung. I am y/n” you shake his hand which is warm and just firm enough. 

“Pleasure is mine. I have heard a lot about you” he smiles in that knowing way, a glint of recognition of his mother’s words reflecting in his eyes. He’s surely referring to the tons of times Mrs K. would’ve mentioned you as a potential romantic partner.  

“I have heard tons about you too” your lips curve up in an unintentional smile as his eyes bore into yours. There is a moment of silence as both of you quietly look at each other until Mrs. K clears her throat and you both look away. 

“My mother seems to be a fan of yours. That’s a hard feat. I haven’t been able to do that in twenty-five years of my life” his lips split in a mischievous smile which is warm and you feel yourself falling into it as well. 

“She adores you” you look between Mrs K. and him. 

“You’re just saying that because she’s right here and you can’t out her because she’s your boss. Be honest” he retorts in a playful tone.

Mrs Kim. gently slaps him across the shoulder. “Stop it. You’re embarrassing me” 

You chuckle at the cuteness that is Mrs K, and even her son Kim Taehyung. 

“I am sorry if I interrupted you. I only wanted to give you the paper. It fell out of your pocket” you look at Taehyung and then at Mrs. K feeling a little guilty about imposing on their time.

“Oh you stop it too y/n” Mrs.K waves you off.  “I am very glad you bumped into us like this. Now I have somewhere very important to be” she looks at her watch. “Taehyung be the gentleman that I raised you to be and drop y/n off at home” 

“No-” you open your mouth in protest but Mrs. K is already walking the opposite way towards the doors, albeit very hurriedly. Taehyung turns around to watch his mother amble away, leaving him and you alone. That was her intention the moment you stepped into the scene. 

He turns back around to face you. “She’s not very subtle about it is she?” and then he breaks out into a grin. 

“I am sorry to say this. But no” you grimace slightly. 

“It’s quite alright. I know she can be a handful” 

You remember how V called his mother a handful too and chuckle. 

“What is it?” his brows knit together in confusion. 

“It’s just that someone said that to me this morning. But sometimes you have to suck it up” your eyes lock on Taehyung’s. 

He laughs lightly too. “Funny. Someone said that to me this morning”

“That is…” you pause to search for the right word. “A little bit strange” 

“Well, stranger things have happened miss y/n” 

Little did you know both know he was right. Among the many strange that could happen, one of them was happening to you both and neither of you were aware of it. 

Taehyung being the filial son to his mother, decides to drive you home despite your protestation. He wouldn’t take no for an answer so despite yourself you agree to let him give you a ride. He’s actually as nice as his mother had said he is, and now you realize she wasn’t just saying that because he is her son. He really does have a warm personality, and you feel drawn to him. You can’t pinpoint it exactly to one thing because it’s several reasons—it’s the way he conducts himself, the way he speaks with authority yet politeness, the way he is so grounded and humble-- all of it makes him appealing. 

Even though he hails from a super rich family, drives an expensive Maybach which is worth more than your three year salary combined, and wears a suit that you can’t even think of buying-- he’s so humble. He isn’t flashy about it. He hasn’t once flexed his wealth or brought up his family with you. 

“I really want to apologize for my mother” he glances at you quickly before focusing back on the road. 

“It’s alright. You don’t have to talk so formally by the way” you try your best to put him at ease because since the moment you have met him he has been nothing but respectful. 

“Okay” he quips. “But I really am sorry. I know she can be a little bit too imposing sometimes” 

“She can. But I understand the reason. You’re her only son and she wants the best or you” 

You can feel his eyes on you which makes you turn to him. “What is it?” you question. 

He’s silent as he studies you, gaze lingering for a second longer and then he shifts his eyes to the road. “You’re not at all like my mother described you” 

“Really?” 

He nods. “You’re better” he glances at you from the corners of his eyes.

Your heart skips a beat at hearing him say that. “I am flattered. I always thought she was building you up and that you weren’t actually what she made you out to be” 

“And...?” he trails off as he quickly does a shoulder check and changes lanes. 

You let the silence build for a moment before speaking. “You’ve exceeded my expectations” a slow smile appears on your lips.You watch as he turns to you briefly and his mouth parts into a small smile as well. 

Silence falls over you. You look out of the window and watch as the city passes you by with its tall buildings, skyscrapers and large mountains. You rest your head against the headrest and fumble with your fingers absentmindedly, absorbing yourself into the passing landscape. Out of the corner of your eyes you notice Taehyung loosening his tie, an action that ends up making you smile to yourself-- for what reason, you don’t know. You have known him for ten minutes and he’s already having an effect on you. 

“Music?” his voice cuts through the heavy silence, which comes as welcomed relief. 

“Sure” you nod. 

A second later music drifts through the speakers. The melody is familiar but because the volume is turned low, you can’t make it out. 

“Can I turn it up if you don’t mind?” 

“Please go ahead” he motions to the navigation system and you turn the dial. 

You wait for a moment as you take in the melody. “Is this Claire de Lune?” 

“You know it?” he looks at you from the periphery of his vision, slightly turning his head towards you. 

“Who doesn’t?” you look at him as if it’s the most obvious thing that everyone knows what Claire de Lune is. “Actually I take it back” 

He laughs and turns the volume lower so you can talk. “You are the second person I know who is into classical music. I think it’s my lucky week or something” 

Your lips teeter in a smile. “Who is the first person?” 

He doesn’t respond immediately and you notice him blinking rapidly as if he’s trying to contemplate what to say. “Someone I know” he says softly 

“Well now you know two people who share your interest” 

“That I do” he grins at you like a child does when they get their favorite toy or candy. 

It’s silent again until your stomach grumbles, catching Taehyung’s attention. “Someone’s hungry” 

Your cheeks flush in embarrassment, and the overall result is you lowering your head and tightening your arms around your torso.  “I had a lot of paperwork to look over so I didn’t take lunch” 

“I know a good place, if you want to grab a bite?” 

You ponder his offer. “I don’t think you’re a serial killer so I think it’s safe to go with you” 

A soft chuckle falls from his lips at your joke which suddenly makes a feeling of pride rise in your chest. “I listen to classical music” he wags his brows at you playfully. “Most definitive sign of a serial killer” 

“I have pepper spray so I’ll be okay” you say. 

It comes out more matter of factly which makes him do a double take “Wait, do you really have pepper spray?” a slight look of confusion presents on his face as his brows crinkle. 

“No” you laugh and shake your head. “I am joking” 

“Sense of humor. I like it” he nods slowly as if he’s impressed. 

“Well I could say the same for you” 

By the time you reach the place Taehyung wanted to bring you to, the sun has already set behind the mountains in the distance. The sky welcomes the dusk by softly melting from blue to black and a slight chill settles into the air. 

While you fumble with the belt, Taehyung much to your surprise gets out of the car. You follow his movements and watch him coming around to your side and open the door for you. 

You still can’t unbuckle your seatbelt. Fancy cars and their fancy seatbelts, you think. It shouldn’t have to be so hard but when something costs a fortune obviously there are going to things beyond the capacity of a common person like this seatbelt from hell. 

“May I?” Taehyung questions as he holds the door open and points to the seatbelt. 

“Thank you” you stop struggling with it and pull your hands back in your lap. 

“Sorry” he mumbles, ducking his head before he reaches across you and unbuckles it for you with a single click. He’s slowly pulling back when he stops, face inches away from yours, his warm breath fanning your face. His gaze lingers on you for a few seconds before he steps back and offers you his hand. You gratefully take it and with his help lift yourself up and out of the car. 

Thank you again” you say softly and he nods. 

He nods. “There’s something…” he reaches up and presses a finger to your cheek. He pulls it back and shows it to you. “Make a wish” he whispers. 

“W-what?” you whisper back in an entranced state. 

“You’re supposed to make a wish when a lash falls on your cheek” he says gently, reaching down to grab one of your hands. He then places it on the back of your hand. The spot he had touched makes your skin tingle. 

He’s holding your entire attention without even trying. Your mind is blank, and your eyes refuse to leave his gaze. It’s like he’s bewitched you, and you will be putty in his hands if he wished it this second. You would forget your inhibitions if he told you to. You’d give into whatever he tells you to if it means he’ll continue to look at you like he can’t see anything else around him. 

“Wish miss y/n” he motions to your hand as a reminder.

“I don’t know what to wish for” your voice comes out just a touch shy of a whisper. 

“Anything” his mouth parts in that heartbreakingly beautiful smile. “Whatever you want, it’s yours to wish for” 

With those simple words melting into your mind like a mantra, you close your eyes and wish with your entire being. You open your eyes to find him looking at you with that soft look in his eyes. 

“What did you wish for?” he asks

“I don’t wish and tell” you joke 

He laughs. “Alright. Fair enough. Shall we go inside?” he offers his arm. 

“I am not sure you’re real” you chuckle hooking your hand in his elbow. 

“I am very real” he leans down towards you. “You can check” he turns his cheek in your direction for you to satisfy your curiosity. 

You poke his cheek, a bit harder than you’re meant to just to tease him. “Real for sure” 

“That’s gonna bruise” his lip juts in a pout as he straightens up. “Like my dear mother said before, she raised me to be a gentleman” 

“You should have been born like ten decades earlier” you tease. 

“I know. I was born in the wrong century” he begins walking again with you in tow. 

You walk across the parking lot and arrive at  the restaurant. To your surprise it isn’t an expensive place you had been expecting. It’s a mid range restaurant, the perfect combination of affordable and fancy. You can eat what you want without having to worry about your bank balance but still feel bougie while doing so. 

There is no line up but from the large windows you can see the whole restaurant is full, a good indication that the food must be delicious. Just the thought makes your mouth water. Taehyung holds the door open for you and you step inside. You wait for him and then both of you proceed further where you are greeted by the hostess.

“Your name please Sir?” she asks graciously 

“Kim Taehyung” he replies with a thin lipped smile 

“Right this way Mr. and Mrs.Kim” she says, and you open your mouth to protest but Taehyung vigorously shakes his head. Confusedly you follow behind him,  hand still resting in the crook of his elbow. The hostess leads you to a table in a quiet corner for which you feel thankful. 

She lays down your menus on the table and then saunters off. Taehyung unwraps your hand from his arm gently and is quick to pull back a chair. “Here wifey” he says with a wink. 

“Excuse me?” you try to hold back your laugh. 

“You’re my wife so this is the least I can do for you” he grins from ear to ear

You shake your head and comply. Once you’re seated he pushes the chair in and then rounds the table to sit in front of you. 

“We’ve only known each other for” you look at your watch and then up at him. “Thirty minutes and now I am your wife?” 

“Come on. You might as well be because my dear mother is hell bent on you and I getting together” he says with a playful smile. 

“Hmm” you lean back against your chair as you scrutinize him. “Jokes aside. What’s your honest opinion on that?” somehow the curiosity ends up getting the better of you. You weren’t going to ask him but since he brought it up you really did want to know what he thought about all of it because eventually one day you would have had to meet him anyway. You already told Mrs.K you would so now is better than later. 

“Honestly? I don’t know what I think about the prospect of us” 

You feel a slight pang rise in your chest at his remark. “Is there someone else?” 

“Ummm” his lip protrudes in a pout as he thinks. “Not really” 

“It’s alright you can tell me” you prompt, genuinely interested. But underneath all of that is somehow a slight twinge of disappointment that settles in your chest.

“I met her online” he quips, looking away sheepishly. “But it’s just friendship at this point. Nothing more” 

“Never know Mr.Kim. It might turn into something more” 

“Eh” he shrugs. “Mrs. Kim” he adds with a goofy grin. “I like how it sounds” 

“What?” 

“Mr. and Mrs.Kim. It’s pleasant to hear” 

“Don’t get hung up on it” you chuckle. 

“Don’t break my heart okay?” 

“You are something else Kim Taehyung” you shake your head at him with a smile

You spend the rest of the time at the restaurant ordering food, eating and talking. Being around him is like comfort. It feels like coming home after a long hard day at work and relaxing. Being around him is also intoxicating because he feels a little bit like a drug— addicting and euphoric. 

You find out that you and him share not only love for classical music but also for reading. He’s apparently very big on classics like 1984 and Brave New World. Brave New World was the first novel you ever read and it captivated you in a way nothing has captured your attention— until V and Taehyung. 

“1984 was so amazing. It’s Orwell’s masterpiece” his voice sounds distant in your ears.

“Hmm?” you blink away your thoughts focusing back on him, the feeling of nervousness slowly pooling in your stomach. 

“What’s on your mind?” he drops the fork he’s holding, and focuses all his attention on you as he stares at you intently.

“Nothing. I just zoned out” you supply with a pursed smile. 

“I see why my mother likes you” 

“Why?” 

“You have a way of making people curious. I look at you and I think she’s an open book. But then I talk to you and you’re a complete mystery” his eyes crinkle at the corners as he very imperceptibly narrows his eyes in that intrigued kind of way. 

“Trust me. I am no mystery. I lay it all out there for people to see because I can’t do mystery”

“Are you sure y/n?” your name falls softly through his lips. “Because I feel like I know you, yet I don’t” 

You chuckle and shake your head. “What do you want to know?” 

“What would you be comfortable sharing?” 

He couldn’t get any more perfect could he? 

Never before has anyone in your life ever asked you that. People always list out things they would like to know. They never ask for permission or even consider if what they want to know is something you’re okay talking about. 

“I-”

“Are you enjoying everything Mr. and Mrs. Kim?” The hostess comes by your table. 

“Actually the thing is we’re-”

“Everything is delicious. Thank you” Taehyung replies with a warm smile. 

“Enjoy” she says and then strides away to another table. 

Once she leaves you turn to him. “You are enjoying this aren’t you? This whole Mr. and Mrs. Kim thing” 

“Oh come on. Don’t be a joy killer. I told you I love how it sounds. And I like being Mr. Kim” he shrugs. 

“But you’re Mr. Kim anyway” you remind him. 

“Yeah. But the context is different. I am the ‘married’ Mr. Kim right now.” he says it so lightly it almost makes you choke. You don’t even think he realizes how that sounds. 

“Get married and then you’ll always be the married Mr. Kim.” you tease despite feeling like it’s a little too flirty for the first meeting. You take a sip of water feeling your throat drying by the second. 

“Then marry me y/n” 

You choke on the water “W-what?” a cough passes through your chest and out. 

He silently observes the shocked expression on your face, a smile teetering at the edge of his lips. “I am kidding.” he replies a moment later. 

“Good. I thought you were serious for a second” you shake your head at him grabbing a napkin to wipe your mouth. 

He grins goofily at you. “Are you okay though?” 

“No thanks to you” you reach for the glass of water and chug it.

After dinner Taehyung suggests dessert. It turns out you both share an undying love for shaved ice. Taehyung even pulls out pictures of him in fancy shaved ice places in New York to prove to you he’s serious. In turn you show him a list of shaved ice you have already tried and how you’ve ranked them from best to worst. 

“No way. You think strawberry is the worst flavor?” he looks at you, disbelief and incredible disappointment painted altogether on his face. 

“I am sorry. I think it is. But mango, now that’s a great shaved ice flavor. Strawberry is too light for me”

“Wow. I am thoroughly offended” he huffs and pouts like a child. 

“I didn’t mean to offend you. I am just being honest” you pat him on the back with mock sympathy.

“Well your honesty hurts. Strawberries are the best thing in the world” he continues to pout as you walk to the shaved ice place

“Do you feel this strongly about anything else in your life Taehyung?” 

“No. My grandparents own a strawberry farm and I grew up eating strawberries. So, I am highly biased towards them” 

You nod in understanding because it makes sense why he would violently hold so much love for strawberries. “Mrs.K never mentioned that” 

“I think she’s embarrassed by it,” he shrugs. “Or maybe it just never came up” 

You round the corner and arrive in front of the shaved ice shop. Taehyung once again opens the door for you. 

“You have to stop doing this” you mumble as you step in first. 

“Why?” his brows crinkle as he enters after you, gently placing a hand on the small of your back to guide you through the sea of people

“People will think we are actually together” 

“So?” he shrugs like he couldn’t care less. “I thought you didn’t care what people think” 

You regard him as you stand in line to order, forced to think about your perception. “Actually. Yeah I don’t care” you say firmly because it shouldn’t matter what people think. 

“I don’t see the point of living my life on others’ terms” he says with a serious face. 

“That’s fair” you reply. He’s right. You shouldn’t care what people think and the confidence with which he says it makes you question all the times in your life you have let others get to you. 

“So” he turns to look at the giant board on the wall behind the cash register displaying the different flavours. “I assume it’s Tropical Mango shaved ice for you” 

You pout as you think. “You know what, I’ll give the strawberry a try”

His eyes widen allowing a sparkle to reflect in his eyes. “Really?” 

You nod. In response his smile grows wider and wider until he’s positively beaming. Your turn to order arrives fairly quickly and Taehyung places the order. You don’t pay attention though because you are enraptured by the way light reflects on his face and makes his sun kissed skin look even more golden. You get entrapped by his voice which sends shivers down your spine yet is somehow comforting.

Of course when you say you can split the bill he violently shakes his head and refuses to let you pay. You take your number and find a seat at the corner after he ushers you the table and excuses himself to use the washroom. You pull out your phone now that you have some time and send a text to V. He’s been in the back of your mind all day long. 

Bananamilk: Hey V, did you reach safely? 

Almost instantly you receive a reply which makes your heart pound hard against your chest.. 

Icedtea: Yes I did. I am so sorry I couldn’t message earlier. My mom kind of ditched me. But I made a new friend because of it! 

A smile unconsciously squeezes its way onto your lips despite your efforts not to.

Bananamilk: that’s great! I hope you’re having fun 

Icedtea: I am. She’s great 😊 

Bananamilk: Oh it’s a girl 

Even your message itself sounds jealous of this girl. He’ll obviously catch it. 

Icedtea: Is someone jealous? 

Bananamilk: I am not jealous. I just made a comment

Icedtea: Sure. Whatever you say m’lady ;)

Bananamilk: V! I am not jealous. I am happy you made a new friend. I also made a new friend and he’s awesome. 

Icedtea: 🤔 is he more handsome than I am? 

Bananamilk: I don’t even know what you look like

Icedtea: yes you do 

Bananamilk: can’t really see your face in the pictures 

Icedtea: you’ll see it soon enough. One day. 

Bananamilk: if your face is anything like your personality, I am sure you are beautiful 

Icedtea: you really know how to stroke a mans’ ego

Bananamilk: don’t let it get to you

Icedtea: Don’t change the subject m’lady. 

Bananamilk: you changed the subject V

Icedtea: are you having a good time with your new friend? 

Bananamilk: he’s a really nice guy. You know strangely enough he reminds me of you

Icedtea: Oh really? That’s good then. At least you will remember me when you’re with him. Works for me! 

Bananamilk: shut up. 

Icedtea: I am sure you’re blushing right now

He’s not wrong. A soft heat starts building under your cheeks and then it violently flares into a red that covers your face. You can feel the heat settling in, emanating from your skin. 

Bananamilk: I’ll have to remind myself to not pay you compliments again 

Icedtea: That just tells me you’re actually blushing. 

Bananamilk: Oh god. Why are you so fixated on it? 

Icedtea: I like the idea of you blushing because of me 

Bananamilk: 🙄

Icedtea: How cute 

Bananamilk: Aren’t you supposed to be with your friend? Emphasis on the friend 

Icedtea: I knew you were jealous! But yes she’s waiting for me so I should probably go. Talk to you later?

Bananamilk: If you stop being weird I’ll talk to you 

Icedtea: Haha okay. I’ll talk to you later m’lady 🤗

Bananamilk: Talk to you later V 🤗

With that last text sent you already feel the anticipation building for when you get to talk to him next. It baffles you as the recognition crosses your mind and you become aware of your own feelings. 

Before you can further dwell on it Kim Taehyung approaches your table and takes the seat in front of you. 

“You’re red like a tomato” he remarks, a curious look crossing his face. 

“I am what?” you touch your cheeks. 

“Red. Completely and absolutely red” he repeats. 

“I just feel like it’s hot in here” you fan your face avoiding his gaze. 

“Like I said you’re a complete mystery” he replies. You assume because of the lack of context he finds you are hiding something which seems fair enough. 

“About that” you stop your ministrations and find the courage to look at him. “Ask me whatever you like” 

“That’s very vague” 

“Fine. I’ll tell you myself. I grew up in LA. Lived there until two years ago and then moved here to San Francisco. Then somehow by luck I ended up getting a job at Misim and now I am here, sitting in front of you” 

“Shut up” his jaw drops. “You grew up in LA too?” 

“You grew up in LA?” you repeat back, feeling curious. 

“I did. I lived there until about eighteen and then we moved here to San Fran. My mom then founded Misim and she initially wanted me to run the company but I have no interest in that side of things. So I moved to New York after high school and got a full scholarship to Columbia” he grabs a glass and pours water and slides it towards you and then pours himself one and takes a sip. 

“ You went to Columbia?” you gawk at him. 

“That hard to believe huh?” he chuckles 

“No. It’s not that. I don’t know anyone who went there and that too on full scholarship. What did you study at Columbia?” 

“Business marketing” he quips, taking another sip of water. 

“Wow” you nod slowly, filled with acknowledgement that he’s not only got beauty but he’s also got the brains. More than that though it’s the recognition that he’s a whole package which is slowly settling its roots in you. He’s got the personality to go with it. It’s the awareness that the more you talk to him the more he piques your interest and the more you want to know. “Why business marketing?” 

“I am a nerd that’s why” his lips flutter open ever so softly in a smile. 

“A self-proclaimed nerd. Wow. I like it. What else makes you a nerd?” you chuckle. 

“I love art, travelling, learning about anything I can get my hands on. If you think about it, we can learn from anyone and anything. You just have to have that mindset” 

“Where have you travelled to?” 

“I went to Bali a few months ago. Before that I was in Italy and then Peru and right after highschool I went to Morocco” 

“That’s amazing! I’ve always wanted to travel” you say, feeling slightly disappointed at not having had the opportunity to go where you have always wanted to. 

“I sense a ‘but’ in there somewhere” 

“But” you sigh. “I never had the time. Not to mention it’s an expensive habit” 

“I’ll take you. Wherever you want to go” he replies

“You’ll take me?” you narrow your eyes at him warily. 

“I will” he shrugs. 

“You don’t even know me” 

“Something tells me miss y/n, we’ll be seeing each other a lot. So I’ll get to know you and then I’ll take you wherever you want to go”

“What gives you that idea?” you lean in slightly intrigued by his confidence. 

“What would you say if I asked you right now that there is somewhere I want to take you and that if you’re free next weekend I would love to show you” he asks exuding a kind of confidence you have never felt yourself subjected to before. 

Would you say no? No. 

Will you take the time to pretend like you’re thinking so you don’t come off as eager? Yes. 

So after a moment of acting like you’re mulling it over, you reply. “I would say that I would love to go with you next Saturday” 

“See?I told you we will be seeing each other”

“How did you know I would say yes? You wouldn’t have been that confident if you didn’t know Kim Taehyung” 

“Because there’s something here even though I don’t know about the prospect of us” he points between you and him. “I know you feel it too” 

“Hmm” you nod, unable to deny that there is something between the two of you and also unable to form words because you can’t get into details of it. 

“Here’s your half mango and half strawberry shaved ice” you are distracted by the girl who had taken your order. She sets the huge bowl down, one side furiously pink and filled with strawberries while the other a deep yellow and topped with mangoes. 

“You ordered half and half?” you blink at Taehyung. It leaves you feeling a little touched because you find the gesture considerate. You haven’t encountered people in your life who are thoughtful like he is. 

This is when it dawns on you— a simple yet complex realization. You like V and you are attracted to Taehyung. Two days ago you didn’t have time nor the intention of getting involved in the matters of the heart. Yet two days later you are sitting in front of a man that makes you feel like you matter even though you have known him for less than an hour. And here you are also waiting for texts from a guy who is faceless yet he makes you feel like you could float on clouds. 

It’s funny how it’s so easy to catch feelings. One look, one word, a simple action, one kind gesture can kickstart the hurricane of absolutely confusing emotions.

You’re thoroughly fucked aren’t you? 

“I thought if you were willing to forgo your hatred for strawberries, which I still take offense to by the way. I thought the least I could do was order your favorite and try it myself too” he offers you a spoon. 

You let your gaze linger a little bit longer on his sparkling eyes, before you take the spoon from him and dig in. You take a bite and he watches in anticipation as you slowly savour the flavour. 

“The verdict is….” he trails off. 

Your lips protrude in a pout. “Well… it’s not as bad as I previously said” 

“Yes!” he curls his fingers into his a fist and fist bumps the air. “So does it move up the list?” he wags his brows playfully. 

“One spot” you scoop some shaved ice in your mouth. 

“That’s an improvement.” he laughs softly and takes a bite of the mango flavour on his side. 

You watch as he slowly nods. You feel nervous because you want him to like it. He still hasn’t said a word and he’s sitting there with a kind of dazed look on his face. 

“Taehyung?” you wave your hand in front of his face. “Are you okay?” 

He sort of shudders and blinks up at you. “Brain freeze I think” 

You chuckle at the cuteness that is Kim Taehyung. When he’s sitting this close to you in good lighting you really do get to take a good look at him. His features are very soft-- his eyes the softest of them all. His cheeks are full and you just wish you could squeeze them. 

He has a warm personality, one that makes you feel like you are surrounded by the light of a thousand suns. His energy is bright and infectious and he’s insanely confident in himself which is what you can’t get enough of. 

You blink away from your entranced state at being subjected to a very intense look by him. “S-sorry. Uhh.. do you like it?” you try to change the subject feeling slightly embarrassed at having been caught staring. 

His gaze lingers on you for a second more before he’s breaking out into a knowing grin. You know he’s aware you were staring at him. But he just smiles about it, doesn’t try to call you out, and smoothly changes the subject “It’s good. But I am always going to be a strawberries man” 

You giggle at the comment. 

“I promise I am going to make you love strawberries” he quips, reaching over to your side of the bowl and putting a spoonful of strawberries in his mouth. “See, this is what happiness tastes like” his voice is muffled by all the strawberries in his mouth. 

“I think I am starting to like them already” your mouth falters into a grin as you watch the man in front of you filled with a sense of warmth. 

At your mild mannered compliment Taehyung’s grin stretches wide across his face, eyes disappearing into crescents. 

That night after Taehyung drops you home, you are greeted by a wide awake Nina, sitting in her PJ’s violently flipping through the channels. As soon as you enter, she jumps from her spot and runs over to you. 

“Who was the extremely handsome guy who dropped you off?” she tugs your arm and leads you to the couch where she makes you sit down. She takes your purse and haphazardly throws it on the loveseat, fixing her attention to you. She looks at you in anticipation, and you can see the excitement in the way she’s leaning in, and her brows are raised and she’s tapping her foot on the floor impatiently. 

“That’s my boss’s son. Taehyung” you supply

“He’s hot y/n. Like super hot. Can you get me his number please?” 

“What? No!” you shuffle back a little. 

“Why?!” she whines. 

“Because he’s my boss’s son” you avoid looking at her. You can feel her eyes on you, studying you carefully. The silence weighs heavy on your ears and despite the urge to break it and say something, you choose to remain quiet too. 

“You like him” she states matter-of-factly. 

“What the fuck! No” you vigorously shake your head. 

“You can’t lie cousin. You suck at it. You like this guy. I saw you. You were smiling like a whipped idiot when you were saying bye to him. I was right there” she points to the large window by the front door now curtained. “Dare I say, I think you guys were flirting” 

“No we were not” you say firmly

“If it helps, I think he’s into you too” she shrugs

“You think so?” it comes out lightning quick which makes Nina raise her brows curiously. 

“That gets a reaction from you. And you’re telling me you don’t like him. Look at how eager you are to get my opinion on it. You want to talk about this and you know it” she clicks her tongue and pouts at you. 

“Maybe I find him a teeny tiny bit attractive. But that doesn’t mean I like him” you huff, trying your hardest to pretend that the insinuation offends you but she sees right through you. 

“It’s all the same y/n. Go out with him. Ask him” 

“Uhhh… he kinda already asked me to go somewhere with him next weekend and I agreed to it” you mumble the last part quietly and Nina has to lean in to catch what you said.

“Wow. Miss I-don’t-like-him has a date and yet refuses to acknowledge she likes him.” 

“It’s not a date!” you say defensively. “It’s just a friendly hangout. 

“Right” she shakes her head. “Just a friendly hang out” she uses air quotes. “What are you, five?” 

“Ughh. Whatever. Stop being so obsessed with my love life” you lean against the back of the couch, rubbing your temples. 

Your phone buzzes and Nina reaches across into your purse and pulls it out. You watch her brows rise and mouth open as she reads whatever is on the screen. “Uhhh lover boys have messaged you” she holds the phone up for you to see one message from Taehyung and one from V both showing up on your notifications one under the other. 

“Fuck” you mutter as you take it from her. 

“Yeah you are fucked cousin. Two hotties and you. Now that’s what I am talking about” she winks in a suggestive and sleazy manner. 

“Nina!” you chide. “Get your mind out of the gutter. Please” 

“Okay fine” she sighs. “What are you going to do?” 

“I don’t know. I am attracted to them both” you mumble sheepishly hiding your face behind your hands out of embarrassment. 

“Who do you like more though?” 

“They’re both so sweet. V makes my heart flutter and he makes me smile in a way no one does. I feel like I have known him forever. He just gets me in a way no one does. But Taehyung makes me curious. He excites me. He makes me want to be seventeen again”

“That’s tough” she pats you on the shoulder sympathetically. “You know you can’t have both right?” 

For the first time Nina has said something right. It takes you by surprise but you don’t have the energy to dwell on the sudden show of maturity. “I know” you groan. 

“Well I’ll let you sit with this” she offers her usual pursed lip, uninterested smile. “I am going to sleep” she stifles a yawn. 

You roll your eyes. “Yeah great. I’ll just agonize over this while you sleep” 

“Sorry cousin. I need my beauty sleep. Besides I doubt I’ll be of much help” she gets up with a groan and stretches her hands over her head, and drags her feet over the floor as per usual. 

“You’re never any help” you mutter, diving face down onto the couch. 

You grab your phone, the light blinding you as you scrunch your eyes to stop it from hurting. Once you adjust to it you open the message from Taehyung: 

I had a really fun time today. Can’t wait to see you again on Saturday. Good night y/n :) 💤 

You scroll the notification banner down and click on V’s message. 

Icedtea: I am sorry we weren’t able to talk a whole lot. I got busy with the friend I told you about. I promise we’ll catch up tomorrow. Good night 😴 

You turn on your back, staring blankly at the ceiling. There isn’t going to be any sleep tonight. 

Yeah you’re thoroughly fucked. 

Absolutely. Utterly. Completely. Screwed. 

On Friday morning Mrs. K calls you early to tell you that you don’t need to go into work. She leaves a long winded voice message about how Taehyung told her about taking you out on Saturday and she doesn’t want you to be tired for the day. So she just wants you to rest up and is giving you the day off. 

That comes as a respite because a day off is exactly what you need. You have too much on your mind between V and Taehyung. Feelings are exhausting in general. But when you’re like a pendulum swinging from one boy to the other it’s ten times more excruciating to deal with. 

You lounge around the whole day, not wanting to do anything because you know that Saturday is coming soon. The anxiety in itself is enough to render you useless for the rest of the day. It’s worse since Nina isn’t home. If she were there she would have already dragged you out someplace against your will and forced you to eat some kind of eclectic food you probably wouldn’t even want in the first place. 

That’s exactly what you need— a huge distraction from your even bigger problem of having fallen two guys at the same time. People have a hard enough time dealing with one, but your destiny has blessed you with dealing with emotions for two men who you feel thoroughly incapable of choosing between. 

As if on cue your phone chimes and you pick it up lazily already having an inkling as to who it will be. 

Icedtea:  Hey! what are you upto?

“Wallowing in my misery” you grumble as you stare at the message but begin typing the exact opposite. 

Bananamilk: I am doing...amazing! 

An instant reply arrives bringing with a pang of nervousness in your chest. 

Icedtea: No one says they’re doing amazing unless they are going through something horrible. What are you going through?

Your breath gets stuck in your throat, your thoughts on pause as you read the message. He can’t see you, he doesn’t even know you all that well. For fucks sake he’s texting you. 

Bananamilk: that’s creepy V. But spot on. I am going through something

Icedtea: Wanna talk about it? 

“Not with you because you’re part of the reason I feel this way” you sigh as you speak to the screen like he can hear you or see you through it. 

Bananamilk: I’ll be alright. I’ll survive 😊

Icedtea: Alright. But you know if you want to talk about it I am just a text away. 

Bananamilk: Yes I know :) Thank you. Onto happier subjects. How did your day with your friend go? 

Icedtea: It was a lot of fun. I am seeing her again soon. How was yours with your friend? 

Bananamilk: I had fun too. But I am so tired

Icedtea: I know what will help. Give me a sec 

The three ellipses show that he’s typing so you patiently wait. Not too patiently though because as you cross the five second mark the suspense starts to get the best of you and you sit up in your bed tapping your fingers impatiently against the back of the phone. 

Icedtea has shared a link. 

You open it to find a link to Spotify and clicking the link transports you to the music app. 

A notification banner pops up on your screen with the following message: 

Icedtea: I made that playlist for you. 

Giddily you click on it to reply. 

Bananamilk: you made a playlist for me? 

Icedtea: Yeah. I was listening to music and then I remembered you told me you like Tchaikovsky so I made it for you with all his pieces. I hope it helps you get through whatever you’re going through 

Bananamilk: Oh my god I love you V ❤️

You smile as you read the message and then it melts into panic.

“Fuck” your eyes widen as the words glare back at you blindingly  bright. It’s as if you acquire tunnel vision and all you can fixate on is ‘I love you V’. “Shit. Fuck.” the sense of urgency gets the best of you as you jump out of your bed and proceed to scream and yell until you’ve almost pulled your hair out. 

“I heard yelling” Nina pops her head into your room. 

“That was me” you mumble . “Wait I thought you weren’t home” 

“I’ve been in my room and I am stealthy like a vampire so you didn’t know I was home. What happened?” she approaches you and sits down next to you on the floor. 

“I told V I love him” you groan

With a lack of response  you are prompted to focus on her only to find her looking at you with a raised brow. 

“What?” you snap

“That fast huh. I thought you would hold out until he’s on the verge of ending it because your righteousness gets in the way of it” 

“It was a fucking mistake” you grab one of her hands and thrust your phone into her palm. 

She looks over the messages and then hands you your phone which you slide away against the floor because you can’t even look at it. “He made you a playlist and you told him you love him?” she snorts in a judgemental way. 

“No one has ever made me a playlist okay!? you say defensively and shoot her a disapproving look. 

“Just tell him it’s because you feel thankful or whatever emotional shit you can come up with,” she replies with a casual tone, not as freaked out as you. But then again she’s always calm about everything. 

“I would but he hasn’t said anything” you point to the phone. 

“Relax. The world hasn’t ended cousin” 

“You’re not helping Nina!” you snap at her, unintentionally taking your frustration out on her. 

Your phone buzzes and you crawl across the floor, and reach for it. 

Icedtea: It’s not a problem . Anytime 💕

You immediately sit on your knees and scoot back until you’re sitting next to Nina. 

“I don’t know what this means” you hold the phone out to her. 

She scoffs. “I thought I wasn’t of any help,” she says bitterly. 

“This isn’t the time to be vengeful, Nina” you remind her gently. 

She snatches the phone so she can take a lot at it. “He sent a heart.  Coming from a guy that’s as good as ‘I love you too’” she lazily holds your phone to you. 

You take it from her. “So what should I say” you bite your lip.

“Just tell him you’re thankful for the playlist and move on” 

“Easier said than done” you turn focus back to the device in your hand and begin furiously typing while Nina quietly slips away but you don’t have time to address that. 

Bananamilk: sorry I got a little excited because no one has ever made a playlist for me before. Thank you very much V. I really appreciate it and I do feel better because of it. 

Icedtea: I am glad to hear that. Happy I could be of some help. 

It’s help that’s going to push you further into the rabbit hole of your feelings for him and complicate things even more. How can you like two guys without feeling like you’re not some cheater bitch? It’s not like you are in a relationship with either of them. However, feeling things for V when you’re talking to him and then feeling things when you’re with Taehyung makes you feel guilty and apologetic as fuck. 

You quickly make an excuse to get out of talking to V because you can’t get your mind out of this spiral you are falling into. There is only one thing to do. So you force yourself to get up and trudge out of your room and into the land of the living. 

“Hey” you address your cousin who is in the kitchen surely fixing up food. 

“Yes” she quips, still sounding a little mad because she’s got that bite to her tone. 

“I am sorry for how I reacted earlier. I was panicking and you were next to me and I am sorry I put it on you” 

She looks over her shoulder at you. “No harm done cousin. But you look fucked” 

“I suppose what I am feeling shows on my face huh” 

“You don’t have to be screwed over just because you like two guys at the same time. It’s a perfectly normal thing. Eventually you will gravitate towards one more than the other. Until then just go with the flow of things and don’t over analyze shit” 

You let her words sink in. They actually make sense, and this is the second time in the past few days she’s given you the right advice. “You need help?” you enter the kitchen further and stop next to her offering to help as a show of your gratitude.

“It’s just ramen” she shrugs. “You want some?” she asks as she licks the sauce off her finger. 

You nod. “Thanks Nina. For everything” you rest your head on her shoulder. 

“I know what will cheer you up” she says and then ushers you out of the kitchen. “Go sit down, grab a blanket put on netflix and we’ll watch the Witcher and then Man of Steel. There’s nothing a little Henry Cavill marathon can’t fix” 

You do as she says and grab a blanket out of the closet and cozy up on the sofa. You turn on the TV and put on netflix, immediately searching for the Witcher. The moment Henry Cavill’s devilishly handsome face pops up on the screen you start feeling better. You put on the first episode of the Witcher, immediately transfixed Henry’s beauty. Just what was God doing when she made him? How can someone look that good? 

With these thoughts swirling in your head, you immerse yourself further into the fantasy world that captures your full attention. So much so that you don’t notice Nina sitting next to you and obnoxiously chewing on the noodles. 

You end up spending the rest of the day cuddled on the couch with her watching the Witcher and every Henry Cavill movie Netflix has in its catalogue. For a while you forget your troubles and just enjoy being a normal human being except you have an obsession with one Henry Cavill. 

At 11 am sharp on Saturday a honk resounds through the air sending you into a state of panic. 

“He’s here!” Nina yells as you stumble out of your room and run down the stairs. “Holy fuck he’s so hot” she says dreamily as she spies on him through the curtains of the window next to the front door. 

“Stop ogling at him and help me find my fucking shoes” you say in a hurry as you grab your tiny bag and sling it across your body. 

“They are by the door” she says without taking her eyes off Taehyung. 

You put on your white shoes and dash out of the door, not even saying bye to your cousin. But you doubt she cares. 

Outside Kim Taehyung is leaning against his car, the bright sun reflecting off his sun kissed skin. The sound of your shoes grating against the gravel alerts him and he looks up to greet you with a smile. 

“You look good” the compliment falls smoothly through his lips and settles deep inside your heart. He pushes away from the car and holds out his arms for a hug. You cave in and wrap your arms around his much larger frame. His whole body envelops yours, a fact that leaves you feeling delighted as you bask in Kim Taehyung’s warmth. He squeezes once more before he lets go and you both pull away. 

“You look good yourself” your lips split in a wide smile as you take in his form. He’s wearing a white mock neck, tucked into black jeans the rims of which are folded on top of his black doc martens. The whole look is tied in together with a blue denim jacket. The boyfriend vibes he’s serving are real and you can’t help but feel like his girlfriend, even though you’re not. 

You catch yourself in time because before that train of thought can catch speed and run out of your control, you nip it. “So where are we going?” 

“It’s a surprise” he opens the door for you like the gentleman he is. 

“I am never getting used to this” you look at him as you pass him and sit in. 

“Well get used to it because I am going to be doing this a lot” he says before he shuts the door softly and runs around quickly and straps himself into the driver’s seat. 

“So you’re absolutely not going to tell me where we’re going?” you ask as he starts the ignition and begins to back out of the driveway. 

“Nope” he shakes his head as he focuses on reversing, looking around in all directions.

Once you’re on the road, he reaches into the back seat and hauls up a bag which he holds out to you. 

“What’s in here?” you ask, taking the white plastic bag from him. 

“Snacks” he glances at you. “It’ll take us about two hours to get there. I thought you might get hungry” 

“Are you taking me to some isolated place to kill me?” you tease, a grin making its way onto your face as you look at him. 

He keeps his focus ahead. “Did we not determine that I am not a psycho?” 

“No. You said you listen to classical music and that’s most definitely a sign you’re a serial killer” you remind him, tearing your gaze away to rummage through the bag sitting in your lap. 

“You are a pepper spray carrier. I wouldn’t worry about it” he replies, a soft chuckle falling through his mouth. 

“Wow you got a lot of stuff” you look through the bag. 

“I got a whole row of stuff from the convenience store” he shrugs as if that is some common occurrence. 

“Did you just say a whole row?” you gawk at him stupidly, blinking in disbelief. 

“Yeah” he says casually. He glimpses at you for a second and chuckles at your reaction. “I didn’t know what you liked so I got whatever I could” 

“How thoughtful” you comment. 

“Thank you. I should have warned you that we might have to get down and dirty, where we’re going” 

“Oh now you have to tell me Kim Taehyung” you turn to him. 

“I can’t. It’s a surprise” he deflects.

You groan which makes him laugh silently,  his shoulders shaking as teeth peeking from behind his lips. “I take it you’re not a fan of surprises?” 

“No. Not at all” you shake your head. “I was wondering…” you trail off keeping your gaze affixed on his profile. 

He turns to you quickly. “What were you wondering?” 

“That day you were very smooth when you asked me to come with you. So, I was just wondering if this is a date” 

“Do you want it to be a date?” he takes a peek at you. 

“Did you intend for it to be a date?” you counter, 

He huffs a soft laugh through his nose and bites his lip. “You caught me y/n” 

You don’t know where this boldness is coming from. But you’re taking Nina’s advice to heart and letting things play out organically instead of trying to control them. “So then, should I assume you like me?” 

He’s silent as he chews on his lower lip like he really has to think about it. Usually it's an automatic response but the fact that he’s taking time makes you think there is something there, just under the surface that’s bothering him. The longer he takes the worse the anxiety gets “Yes” the word leaves a whisper through his mouth. “I like you” 

You’re silent. He’s silent. You can feel the weight, weighing heavy on your shoulders. 

“Since I have made the admission. I have to ask” he pauses. “Should I take it you like me too since you decided to come with me?” 

He’s smooth. He’s very good at using words.

 You like him. But it’s hard to give a quick response because you also like V. So admitting your attraction to Taehyung seems like you’re playing V even though it’s not your intention. 

“Yeah” you reply quietly remembering that Nina told you not to ‘overanalyze shit” 

Taehyung steals a glance at your face, then his eyes travel to your hand that’s resting on your lap. He reaches over and extends his hand and quietly laces his fingers into yours. You succumb to his touch and curl your fingers over the back of his hand, a gesture that makes him look at you with a knowing smile-- one that speaks volumes about his feelings for you. You look from your now less lonely hand to him and a small smile curves on your lips

For the rest of the ride neither of you say a word, and sit quietly hand in hand basking in this newfound feeling. 

“Y/n”

You feel a shake 

“Y/n” 

Someone is definitely saying your name. But who? 

“Y/n” comes the voice again and you jolt awake 

“What?” you say slightly panicked as you look to your left, to find Taehyung. Oh right. You’re going somewhere with him. 

“We’re here” he says. 

You blink away the sleep that weighs heavy in your eyes. “Where is here?” 

“ My grandparents strawberry farm in Sonoma” 

And then sleep vanishes. “What!?” you are wide awake as soon you comprehend his words and unconsciously squeeze his hand. 

He chuckles. “I love it when you get all surprised. It’s all very adorable” he says fondly, eyes sparkling, and smile teetering at the edge of his lips. “It’s also adorable that you fell asleep holding onto my hand” 

You look down and find your hand still locked securely into his. 

“As much as I love holding your hand, it feels kind of numb” he comments, looking at you with pursed lips. 

It takes a second for you to understand what he means as you blink rapidly. Clearly your brain is still a little foggy from the nap. “Oh shit. Yeah. Sorry” you pull your fingers out from his, and he uses his now free hand to unbuckle his seat belt

“Wait” he says and steps out of the car. He comes to your side and opens the door for you and holds out his hand. He really did mean it when he said you should get used to it. A cool draft of air hits you as soon as the door opens and you welcome the relief because your body feels hot all over. 

“Why didn't you tell me you’re bringing me here?” you ask as you place your hand in his and with a gentle pull he manages to help you. He closes the door but keeps a hold on your hand, sliding his palm in yours. 

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise” you walk hand in hand. 

“True. But your grandparents farm? Isn’t it a little weird? I mean I am not even your girlfriend which is who you usually bring to places like this” 

“As far as they know, you are. ” he shrugs. 

“I am?

“Yes you are. I told them you are . You are my girlfriend as far as anyone in this little town is concerned ” he squeezes your hand and swings your interlocked hands. 

“Wow. I just got demoted from wife to girlfriend. Are you cheating on me Kim Taehyung?” you laugh lightly, but it falters when you realize you shouldn’t use the word ‘cheating’ so lightly given your predicament between Taehyung and V. 

He however doesn’t respond in the same way. If anything the smile and liveliness of his face morphs into a solemn expression as his lips pull into a straight line. He lowers his head, blinking profusely. He looks slightly uncomfortable, a vacant look appearing in his eyes and his hold on your hand slackens which makes your heart sink. He doesn’t let go but clearly something has changed. 

“Are you alright?” you question 

A look of realization crosses his face and the distant look in his eyes disappears replaced by the usual amount of warmth you are used to. “Yeah” he squeezes your hand. “Just thinking about something. Sorry” 

“It’s okay” you reassure him. 

You let a few seconds of silence pass before you speak. “So what exactly are we doing here?” 

“Picking strawberries” he smiles from ear to ear clearly excited at the prospect of getting to eat strawberries to his heart's content. “I promised I would get you to love strawberries and here we are” 

“You have a very weird obsession with this particular fruit” 

“Hey don’t judge” he pouts. “Girlfriend’s aren’t supposed to be judgemental” 

“But” you pause. “I am not really your girlfriend” 

“Today you are” he grins and motions to your hands which are still held together. 

It turns out Taehyung was right when he said you would have to get down and dirty. There’s soil marks over your white shoes, and you have been kneeling down trying to pick out as many strawberries as possible because Taehyung decided that an impromptu competition would be a good way to keep things interesting. His grandparents being the sweet people they are let you two be and left to work on ploughing the fields somewhere else. 

You don't know how you got roped into it but you know that you could never say no to Taehyung. If he told you to jump from a building asking you to trust him, you would do so. If he asked you the one thing you absolutely hated: get on an airplane and fly to an unknown destination you wouldn’t even hesitate for a second. You have known him for only a week but you’ve learned enough to be able to put your faith in him. But it feels like you’ve known him forever too. Like you know him from somewhere else but you just can’t remember. 

Too distracted by your thoughts you don’t notice Taehyung taking strawberries out of your basket. It’s only after he’s taken out a handful that you realize it. “Hey! That’s cheating” you have to yell because he’s already on the run. “Kim Taehyung you are dead” you chase after him in the fields which is definitely not a good idea for several reasons. One, the sun is high up in the sky and getting in your eyes so you can’t see clearly where you are going. Second, you’re getting dirt all over your shoes and the hems of your jeans which are the best pair you own. Third Taehyung is taller than you and hence his strides are longer so you’ll never be able to catch him. Fourth, not having any food in you is the worst time to run so you start feeling a little dizzy. 

You stop to take a breather and Taehyung, noticing a stoppage in your shouts, turns around to find you bent over. He runs to you quickly. 

“Are you okay?” he sets down the basket of strawberries and strokes your back. 

“Yeah. I just need food” you pant heavily and straighten up.

“Food you say” Taehyung raises his eyebrows suggestively. “I have just the perfect thing” 

“You are the worst fake boyfriend ever” you gripe as you walk hand in hand with him to the convenience store which happens to be four blocks away. On an empty stomach and running on nothing but fumes four blocks easily seems like forty. 

“You feel that way now. But just you wait. I’ll make you something so amazing you’ll kiss me for it” he says confidently. 

“Kiss you? Aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves” you quip, trying to slow down the pace of where he’s headed. If this were a normal situation you wouldn’t worry. But you have to think about V too. Yes you want things to happen organically but at the same time you need to uphold yourself to your personal standards for morality. And it won’t be right to kiss Taehyung when you feel something for someone else out there too. 

“You’re right” he shakes his head. “Correction. I’ll make you something so amazing you will love me for it” 

“Don’t get all cocky Kim” you reply with a grin. 

The convenience store comes into site and you both speed up as you practically run towards it. You enter the small store and to your right standing behind a cash register is an older man writing something in a notebook. 

 Taehyung greets the man. “Hello Mr. Jung” 

He looks up and a look of recognition crosses his face “Oh Taehyung! It’s nice to see you after so long” 

“It’s very nice to see you too” Taehyung smiles at the older man. 

Mr. Jung looks at you and offers a polite nod, and you reply with a small ‘hello’. 

“Sorry Mr. Jung. I forgot. This is my girlfriend y/n” Taehyung looks at Mr. Jung, a proud smile resting on his lips. 

The way he says ’girlfriend’ makes you want to rip your insides out and stop feeling because it’s too overwhelming. Despite your admittance that you like each other, it’s not like you’ve decided to do anything about it. So technically he’s not your boyfriend and you aren’t his girlfriend and you have to keep reminding yourself that this all for show. 

“Hello y/n. Pleasure to meet you” Mr. Jung says.

“Nice to meet you too Mr. Jung” you respond 

“Hey if he bothers you, you come to me. I will set him straight” Mr. Jung laughs. 

“He bothers me a lot” you complain, pouting. 

“Hey!” Taehyung’s jaw drops in disbelief. “You’re not supposed to tattle on me” 

“You better treat her nice, boy” Mr Jung says in a stern but playful tone. 

“Of course I will! She deserves to be treated like a queen even though she rats me out” this time Taehyung’s lips jut out in a pout. “That reminds me. I am looking for bread and that special sweet cream Mrs. Jung makes” 

“Ah!” Mr Jung’s expression changes to that of realization as soon as Taehyung mentions sweet cream. “The bread should in the last aisle and the sweet cream should be in the refrigerator at the back”

“Thanks Mr. Jung” Taehyung says and walks towards the aisle where he grabs a loaf of bread and tucks it under his arm because he’s still holding your hand and only has his other hand free. 

“Do you maybe want to let go so that we can comfortably shop?” you suggest noticing him having a hard time holding the bread without squashing it to a mush. 

He shakes his head. “No thank you. I like holding your hand” he says firmly. 

You give up quickly, realizing that he won't let go. So you shop around like that-- hand in hand, and a loaf of bread tucked under Taehyung’s arm. From far away you would look like a couple, an awareness which makes your face overcome with a slight crimson flush. 

“Hey do you mind grabbing the sweet cream” Taehyung points to the stacked white, unlabeled containers in the fridge. 

You manage to open the door, but have to hold it open with your foot because your other hand is occupied by Taehyungs. It’s a minor inconvenience which you don't mind. You grab the container and lift your foot against the door and it shuts. “Why are we buying bread and cream?” 

“It’s a secret” he winks 

“You and your surprises” you shake your head at him. 

��I promise you, you will love it” he leads out of the back and to the front where Mr. Jung is. 

Taehyung places the bread and you put the sweet cream on the counter. For the first time he let’s go of your hand to take out his wallet from his back pocket. 

“Don’t worry about Taehyung. This one is on me” Mr Jung smiles at both of you when he sees Taehyung’s wallet.

“Are you sure?” you quip 

“Yeah Yeah” he waves your concern off. “I have known the Kim’s for the better part of forty years. We’re like a family” he takes out a brown paper bag and places both the bread and sweet cream in there and hands you the bag. 

“Thank you Mr. Jung” Taehyung grins up at the older man and nods as both of you leave. Once you are out of the store, Taehyung takes the bag from you and reaches down to grab your hand in his, interlinking your fingers once again. 

Taehyung’s grandparents' farmhouse is ginormous. When you arrived he took you straight to the fields so you didn’t have time to come to the house. The moment it comes in sight you are awestruck at the grandiosity of it and you can’t close your mouth. You hear Taehyung chuckle beside you, no doubt at your reaction but you don’t acknowledge him because you just can't seem to tear your gaze away. 

“This was built in the early 1900’s. Been in the family for a few generations now” Taehyung comments. 

“Wow” you blink rapidly, trying to process the beauty of the house in front of you. 

“We had to renovate it a few years ago because there were  alot of structural issues and mold and whatnot. So it looks slightly different from the outside. But the inside is pretty much the same” 

“You must have spent a lot of time here when you were younger” you finally manage to look away, having had your fill of beauty. 

He nods. “I did. I came here every summer instead of staying in LA. I would spend all my time in the farms with my grandfather, helping him pick strawberries, planting new bushes after the harvest was done, cleaning up around the house and greasing the equipment.”

“Who knew you made an excellent farm boy” you grin at him teasingly, just imagining a kiddie version of the man next to you with his grubby hands helping his grandpa. 

“I am also an excellent chef, thank you very much” 

“We’ll see Mr. Kim” you allude back to your first day with him when you were mistaken for husband and wife.

“You will Mrs. Kim” he jokes and both of you end up laughing. 

Taehyung guides you inside the house holding you hand, through one hallway and then another and he turns again. You forget the way you came in because it’s so big inside. You don’t even have the time to appreciate the architecture (which is very reminiscent of the early 1900’s with crafty woodwork) because Taehyung is beelining straight to the kitchen. 

He sets the paper bag down on the counter. 

“This kitchen is the size of a small condo” you comment, doing a full 360 as you take in everything around you. . The cupboards are all shiny dark oakwood, and the counters are pure white marble. You run a finger on them and it’s the softest marble you have ever touched. His family is definitely loaded. Rich doesn’t even begin to define it.

“My grandma always wanted a huge kitchen. So during the renovations they ended up extending the kitchen and they added the huge cutting board on the countertop because my grandma hates having to wash and clean cutting boards” Taehyung says as he’s looking through the twenty different cupboards for something. 

“What are you going to make?” you ask entering further. 

“It’s something my grandpa used to make when I was younger. I haven’t had it in a very long time. I wanted to share it with you” Taehyung finds plates in one of the cabinets and brings them over to the counter, and sets them aside. 

“That’s sweet of you Taehyung” you reply as you lean your back against the counter. 

“It’s only because I like you” he chuckles. Before you can respond, he’s already on another subject. He makes it seem like such a casual thing. But then again he’s always been up front with you. “Y/n can you bring those strawberries over please?” he points to a huge mound of strawberries piled into a strainer next to the sink. 

You grab it  and bring it over to him. You stop next to him and steal a strawberry for yourself. “Wow these are good” your muffled voice comes out as you savour the sweet flavour. 

“These are the best strawberries you will ever have” Taehyung comments turning to you. He reaches up with his hand and wipes away the juice from the corner of your mouth. 

“Thanks” you mutter. Heat rises in your cheeks once more, and your hands begin to sweat a little from nervousness.

Taehyung takes out the bread and places the loaf on the large built-in cutting board on top of the kitchen counter. “With crust or without crust” he asks. 

“Without please” you say 

“I would have been horrified had you said you want the crust” 

“No one likes the crust. It’s an atrocity” 

“Exactly” Taehyung stacks bread pieces together and in one swoop motion cuts the crusts on one side and the rotates to cut the other side. Once all the disgusting brown stuff is off from the good white stuff, he slides the colander filled with strawberries over to himself. He starts drying them with a cloth and placing them on the cutting board. 

“Where are your grandparents?” you ask suddenly realizing that it's only you two and no one else is around. 

He continues to dry the strawberries as he speaks. “It’s Saturday so they’re probably gone to Mr. Lee’s house at this time. He’s my grandpa’s friend and their farmhouse is just a few blocks down. Everyone in this neighbourhood gathers together and meets at Mr. Lee’s house on the weekends and they play cards and things like that. It’s been like that since I was thirteen” a fond smile appears on his lips as he reminisces about the past. 

“That’s sweet.” 

“All the people in this neighbourhood are my grandparents' age so they all have similar interests” he explains as he places the dried strawberries on the cutting board. 

“Makes sense” you nod. “Do you want some help?” you ask because you feel bad. 

Taehyung looks up at you “Are you good at cutting strawberries?” he asks 

“I can do a good enough job” you reply with a shrug. 

“Grab a knife assistant” he grins and then shifts his focus to cutting the strawberries he had dried. 

You pull a knife out the knife stand next to you and stand quietly next to Taehyung cutting his precious strawberries. It’s silent, save for the sounds of the knives hitting the cutting board. Once he thinks you have enough slices he starts assembling his secret dish. 

He splits the slices of bread in half and places some in front of you. 

“All we’re going to do is spread the cream and place the strawberries and make a sandwich” 

“A strawberries and cream sandwich?” you question

“Not just your usual strawberries and cream sandwich. I’m gonna shallow fry it” he wags his brows, feeling proud of himself. 

“Can't say I’ve ever had that” 

“Get ready for the best-est sandwich ever. It tastes heavenly” he steps behind you and reaches over to place a pan on the stove. The close proximity makes your heart skip a beat. 

You both begin assembling your sandwiches working in silence. The domestic vibes really give you a hard time with concentration because all you can think about is how homely this feels. 

“This reminds me of my grandma and grandpa cooking together when I was younger” he takes the words right out of your mouth because this reminds you of your parents when you were younger.

“Oh the domesticity of it all” you laugh. 

“I like it” Taehyung says fondly, looking at you. 

 You feel his eyes on you and look up at him with a grin. “It’s growing on me too”

Taehyung wasn’t lying when he said it tastes heavenly because it does. Shallow frying the bread just makes it taste a hundred times better than it would have. After you finish devouring the sandwiches Taehyung realizes how late it is and decides that he should get you home. 

“It’s already 8 pm. I didn’t even realize we’d been here that long” 

“Me neither” you reply, finally realizing how much fun you were having with him. 

“Let me just check how long it would take to drive back because we have to take a different highway to get out of Sonoma” he pulls out his phone. You’re silent while he checks how to get home and you decide to look around your surroundings. The huge garden in the back of the property is something you were anticipating, but you just didn’t realize how big it would be. 

Sitting under the fairy lights on the porch definitely does something to make the ambiance feel slightly romantic. 

“Shit. There’s been a major accident on the highway out of the county” he looks at you. 

“So what do we do now?” you question, feeling slightly panicked because you don’t feel comfortable leaving Nina alone in the house for the night.

He shrugs. “I am not sure how long it will take them to clear it up” 

“Damn. It’s already eight and even if it’s done in the next hour or so it’ll be too late to drive out” 

“Right. But it seems like it’s going to take way longer than that because it’s two trailers and a few cars that crashed into each other” he holds his phone out to you. 

Going by the picture posted in the tabloid it does seem like it’s a very major accident. You silently hope everyone involved is okay. You hand him his phone back.

“I guess we have to stay over for the night. Is that okay with you?” he questions, a concerned frown plastered on his forehead. 

“It should be okay. I just have to call my cousin and make sure she will be alright for the night” 

“Sure” he replies and busies himself in looking around while you dial Nina

It rings and rings and rings and just when you’re about to hang up her voice comes through. “Yes asshole. How can I be of service to you” 

“Hello spawn of the Devil” you say into the phone, forgetting that Taehyung is sitting only 1 meter away. He stops looking around as he catches your words, shooting you a confused look. You respond with an apologetic smile.

“I thought you were with your boyfriend” Nina says in her usual teasing tone. 

It gets to you. “He’s not my boyf--” you say a little too loudly and glance at Taehyung  to find him looking at you with raised eyebrows.  You mouth a quick ‘sorry’ to him. “Anyway. I wanted to tell you that I won’t be home tonight and--” 

“Yes girl get it!” she yells so loud you’re sure that against the silence of the night Taehyung heard that. You wince when you notice he’s stifling his laughter. He heard it for sure. 

Idiot Nina.

“We can’t leave because there’s been an accident on the highway out of the county and that’s why I have to stay the night. Are you going to be okay?” 

“Yeah of course! Don’t worry about me. Just take this opportunity alright? Don’t let it go to waste. Who knows when you’ll get it. Make sweet sweet love to him” her voice is so loud you want to throw your phone away and jump into that pool nearby and drown in it. An aching burn alights your cheeks on fire.

Taehyung chuckles, clearly having heard Nina. 

“Shut up, idiot. Call me if anything happens. Not that anyone would try anything with you” you say into the phone, your objective of making sure she’ll be okay completed. You hang up not giving her a chance to speak and pass an apologetic look to Taehyung. “I am sorry if you heard all that” 

“I did” he nods, trying to stifle his laughter once more. “Your cousin sure is a character” he comments. 

“You’re not the first person to say that. She’s the child of the Devil” you shake your head. 

“So she’ll be okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. If anything our neighbours should be scared I am not there to keep her in check” 

He laughs. “Why do you call her the spawn of the devil? Just out of curiosity” 

You sigh. “You’ve already heard a snippet of the kinds of things that come out of her mouth. But she’s totally boy crazy and she always says the wrong things at the wrong time like she just did a few minutes ago. She always puts me in awkward situations like right now which is why I am sure she was born to make my life hell. Hence she is the spawn of the devil” 

“You’re cute y/n” Taehyung chuckles with a shake of his head 

“Thank you I guess” you take the compliment. “So what should we do now?” you quickly change the subject, not wanting to further dwell on Nina because if you do you’ll just keep thinking about what she said. 

“Fancy a swim?” he asks, turning to look at the mirage of blue into the distance. 

“Uhhh I can’t swim” you admit sheepishly, looking away. 

Taehyung’s mouth drops open. “What?” 

“Not everyone can swim okay?” you look at him and say defensively

He stands up and holds his hand out for you. You look at him and then his hand and shake your head. 

“Come on y/n. Be brave” 

“I am a coward. Just let me be a coward please” you look at him pleadingly. 

“I’ll go with you. I won’t let anything happen to you. Trust me” 

You gulp hard and with a deep sigh place your hand in his as he leads you out to the pool. You stand at the edge while Taehyung without a warning jumps in, splashing you with water too. “You’re wet already now. Come on!” he says emerging from the water and smoothing his hair back, droplets dripping down his face and onto his chest. His shirt clings to his chest and arms, showing every contour of his body perfectly. 

“I am not even wearing proper swimming clothes” you try the excuse hoping it’ll get you off the hook. 

“I just jumped in wearing these jeans and my precious mock neck shirt. Be spontaneous y/n” he says, splashing water on you. 

Your hands come up to protect your face from the attack. “I am sort of scared” you mumble, slightly embarrassed at the admittance. 

“Do you trust me?” Taehyung asks as he takes a few steps forward until the water level lowers to his waist. He holds out his arms in the air as if to catch you. 

“I do” you mumble and step close to the edge of the pool while Taehyung moves forward and reaches for your hands. You place your hands in his and crouch down to the floor with his help and set one foot over the edge into the water and then the other. 

“Place your hands on my shoulder and jump in. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you” his voice is soft and tender, which helps calm you down slightly. 

You place your hands on his shoulder and he wraps his arms around your waist as you slide off the edge and into the water. A squeal passes your lips. With eyes shut tight, and nails digging into his shoulders you cling onto him for dear life. 

“I got you” his warm voice comes out in reassurance.He holds you close to him, not leaving a single inch of space between your bodies. 

You open your eyes and find yourself practically glued against him. His face is so close to yours, you can still smell the sweet strawberries on his breath. “I am scared” you whisper. 

“Just keep your eyes on me” he comments as he begins to set you lower in the water. You wrap your arms around his shoulders as you feel your feet almost touching the floor of the pool. You’re hanging onto him like a koala bear and he doesn’t seem to mind it. 

You make the mistake of looking down once and immediately hide your face in his chest. 

His arm tightens around you in a comforting way. “It’s alright. I am here” he mumbles as he places a soft kiss on the top of your head. “ Just hold onto me okay?” 

He starts walking backwards as you hold onto him and slowly but surely the water level rises along with panic. He stops smack dab in the middle of the pool. 

“Y/n look at me” he says softly, and you find the courage deep down to stare into those heartbreakingly beautiful brown eyes of his. “You’re fine. You can touch the floor of the pool” he unwraps your arms from his shoulders and steps back, but he still holds onto you. 

“Taehyung” you say warningly. 

“I am holding on. See” he looks down and you follow his gaze to find his hands wrapped securely around your forearms. 

“You promise you won’t let go?” your voice trembles. 

“I promise” he looks straight in your eyes. 

So you trust him and set your feet down completely this time even though the water almost swallows you. 

“See? You’re fine” he encourages you. “I am gonna swim back now” 

“Taehyung no!” 

He chuckles. “Relax y/n. I am still going to hold onto you. I am not going to let go of you. I swear” 

His words, the sincerity in them manages to put you at ease for the moment. He holds onto you and starts doing a backstroke dragging you along with him in the water. At first you’re terrified as your feet are lifted off the ground and the water weighs heavy on your body. But then after a while you become used to the weightlessness. Taehyung keeps his promise and holds onto your arm as you both swim around. 

“It’s fun right?” he looks at you with a smile and you chuckle nervously unable to form words because they are stuck to the back of your throat due to fear. 

So you circle around the pool holding onto him once you get comfortable. You manage to swim towards the shallow end of the pool where the water sits comfortably below your waist, providing you with a sense of security. Taehyung meanwhile stays in the deep end, eyes glued to you. 

“Scaredy cat” he teases with a grin as water runs down his face. His clothes are completely soaked. 

“You’ll get sick like that” you shout across the pool which makes him chuckle. 

He shakes his head and swims towards you, head appearing and disappearing and then he emerges out of the water right in front of you. He runs a hand across his face to  wipe away the water. A lock of his hair falls onto his forehead and absentmindedly you smooth it back. 

He grins at the gesture and sniffles.“Do you wanna sit up?” he asks, noticing how you’re shivering. 

“Yeah” you mumble and he easily picks you up by the waist and sets you down on the edge of the pool while your feet dangle in the water. 

He places his palms on the edge of the pool and hauls himself up, spinning midway to sit back down next to you. His arm touches yours, sending shivers through your whole body and you shudder. 

Taehyung wraps his arm around you and pulls you into himself as your head hits his shoulder “I saw it on Discovery. Body heat is the best way to warm yourself up” he offers an explanation, but you don’t need it because you don’t mind being this close to him at all. 

He gently strokes your arm, trying to warm you up and you snuggle closer to him and  wrap your arm around his torso. 

“I don’t have a change of clothes” you mention pensively. 

“I have some clothes here just in case. You can wear those” he offers kindly. 

You nod against his shoulder, too scared to speak for the fear of your teeth chattering as a cold draft blows towards you. Once the onset of shivers subsides you speak. “Thank you” 

He continues to rub your arm, and you feel the goosebumps abating. “You’re welcome” 

With his comment silence falls as both of you stare at the blue water in front of you too lost in your thoughts to think of anything else. With other people silence seems to pose a problem, but with him it's comfortable-- a sign that you feel at ease with him. 

“What are you thinking about?” he asks quietly

“Nothing in particular. What are you thinking about?” you ask in return and feel him resting his cheek on top of your head. 

“About how this feels right. You and I, just sitting like this” 

“It does, doesn’t it?” you say, feeling a pang of guilt rise out of your stomach because you feel like you’re deceiving him. Being with him and not speaking with V for so long, doesn’t do anything to lessen your feelings for V. You thought if you spent time with him, it would provide you with some clarity about who you like more. You had hoped it would help you in some way to decide who you lean towards but the thing is you’re back to square one. You definitely feel closer to Taehyung now than you did the first day you met him, but feeling closer to Taehyung doesn’t make you feel distant from V. 

He doesn’t respond to your comment which you don’t mind because sometimes silence speaks louder than words and right now you don’t need any words to understand what’s going on. 

“Do you want to go inside? I don’t want you getting sick” he asks, lifting his head from yours and looking down at you.

You unwrap your arm from his abdomen and pull your head away from his shoulder. “Yeah let’s go” you reply and he quickly gets up, holding out both his hands for you to take. You’ve become so used to his caring and gentle ways that when you slide your hands in his, it feels exactly right. He helps you up and wraps one of his hands in yours. 

He takes you to the drying area, which is basically just a room filled with towels and bathrobes, and swimsuits and swimming trunks. You both step inside, a shiver passing through you as the warm air makes contact with your cold skin. He grabs a towel from one of the open shelves and hands it to you. You run it through your hair while Taehyung grabs one for himself and runs it through his locks. 

You tap the towel over your clothes to absorb the excess water, especially your jeans, which are completely soaked. 

“You good?” Taehyung asks and you nod.  “I’ll get you a pair of my clothes and you can change into them” 

“Thanks Taehyung” you smile at him. 

Once you’re dried and not dripping water everywhere Taehyung takes you back inside the house, still no sign of his grandparents. He shows you where the rooms are and settles you into the room right next to his. You counted at least six rooms when he was giving you the tour of the floor.

“If you need anything I am just next door” he smiles after handing you his clothes. It’s a white shirt and black sweats. 

“Thank you for everything Taehyung” you return the smile. 

“Good night y/n” 

“Good night Taehyung” 

His gaze lingers on you as a few beats of silence pass. His brown eyes sparkle underneath light that is hanging overhead on the ceiling of the landing. He keeps his eyes affixed on you and you enrapt by him find it hard to look away too. 

He blinks first, breaking that small moment of tension. “I’ll-- I’ll see you tomorrow” 

“See you tomorrow” 

He pivots on his heels and disappears and you peek your head out to watch him vanish behind the door of his room. You shut the door and hobble back to the bed, falling face first on it. You feel tired but not tired enough to sleep. There isn’t a sliver of intention to sleep, and all the intention to stay awake. It’s especially worse because you’re separated by nothing but a paper thin wall between you and Taehyung. 

Knowing that he’s in the next room has your curiosity piqued. You want to know what he’s doing. You can’t help but think about the one time he grew solemn during the day when you joked if he’s cheating on you. There was something about the way he grew quiet that irked you. Something about the way his fingers loosened their grip on your hand almost as if he wanted to let go. 

You sigh and stand up, trudging to the bathroom connected to your room to take a hot shower. Maybe it will help you clear your head. 

You stare blankly at the grey ceiling of the room, your phone right next to you and your fingers slowly but surely reaching for it. 

You bring it in front of your face and open the app to text V. It feels like forever since you have talked to him. It’s in moments like this when everything around you is quiet, and your thoughts run rampant completely out of your control when you crave talking to him. Maybe it’s selfish of you but he comforts you. You remember the playlist he sent you and put the music on at a low volume so as not to disturb Taehyung in the next room. 

The silence is chased away by the sounds of quiet, soothing music. 

Bananamilk: Hi V. How are you? 

You wait for a reply but don’t have to wait for long because almost instantaneously a reply comes. 

Icedtea: I am so sorry I never messaged you all day long. Got busy 

Bananamilk: I was pretty busy too so it’s okay. What did you do? 

Icedtea: I hung out with a friend

Bananamilk: would this be the same friend you were telling me about earlier?

Icedtea: It’s weird that you’re so obsessed with her 😂 but yes. 

Bananamilk: I am not obsessed with her 😐 Anyway, what did you guys do?

Icedtea: hung out. Talked. Ate. Tried swimming but she’s afraid of water 

Bananamilk: Wow that’s strange. I am scared of water too and my friend tried to get me to swim today too. Didn’t work out too well though 

Icedtea: Strange coincidence. Yeah. She swam for a bit with my help. But then I guess there is only so much you can do when someone is afraid of water. Can’t force it. 

Bananamilk: Yeah. Take it from me. You can’t. 

Icedtea: I kinda missed talking to you even though I was busy 

Bananamilk: Yeah me too. 

Icedtea: Aren’t you sleepy? 

Bananamilk: Nah. Too much on my mind. By the way I am listening to the playlist you made for me. Dare I say you’re a musical genius 

Icedtea: Gee thanks. I’ll make you another one so you can sleep. 

Bananamilk: Why are you so sweet V?

Icedtea: I am not like this with everyone. You bring out this side of me you know? 

Your heart lurches in your throat and your hands immediately start sweating which loosens your grip on the phone. 

Bananamilk: You’re good with words 

Icedtea: It’s one of my many talents. Thank you. But on a serious note are you finding the playlist helpful at all? 

Bananamilk: You have no idea how calm I feel right now while listening to it and talking to you. 

Icedtea: I always find music relaxes me. So I thought it might help you too. 

Bananamilk: Whoever ends up with you will be one lucky gal 

Icedtea: What if it ends up being you? 

You drop your phone on your face out of shock. It hits your nose and you wince in pain. “Shit” you massage it. Normally you would freak out and lose your mind over how to respond. But right now you feel too calm to let panic take over. Nina’s words ring in your ears and you remember to let things happen. Following that line you say the first thing that comes to your head. 

Bananamilk: You deserve better than me

And he does because you feel like an absolutely shitty person for having these feelings for him but also for feeling attracted to Taehyung. V deserves someone who can love him wholeheartedly and that’s not you because your loyalties are divided.

Icedtea: I don’t think I can do any better than you

Bananamilk: You barely know me, V. 

Icedtea: I know enough to say that I can’t do better than you because you’re exactly the kind of person I envision myself with. It’s so easy with you. 

Bananamilk: I feel the same way, but trust me. One day you’ll realize you can get someone better. Maybe that friend of yours. 

Icedtea: Yeah. Maybe that friend of mine… or maybe you. Anyway, I gotta go but I will catch up with you later?

Bananamilk: Alright. Take care 

Icedtea: You too. 

With a sigh you hide yourself under the blankets. 

It’s 1 am and you’re wide awake. For the past thirty minutes you have been mindlessly scrolling through your conversation with V while simultaneously thinking about Taehyung, who is in the room right next to yours. You toss and turn in your bed, desperately waiting for your brain to get tired enough to want to sleep. But it doesn’t come. You sit up in the bed holding your head in your hands ready to rip out your hair when soft sounds of music drift into your room from the paper thin wall between your and Taehyung’s room. 

Is he not sleeping? 

Somehow hit with the disease of stupidity, you shuffle out the bed and carefully tiptoe across your room. You open the door and peek your head out towards Taehyung’s room. The door is slightly ajar, and there is a ray of light casting shadows on the wall opposite you. 

Keeping in with being as quiet as possible, you continue to tiptoe as you cross the threshold of your room and enter the landing. You stand outside Taehyung’s room and knock once. 

“I am awake” comes his voice, and you peek your head inside. 

“I thought you were asleep” you whisper shout because you don’t want to wake his grandparents up. He’s sitting up in the bed clad in PJ’s that seem to fit him looser than his usual clothes. 

“I couldn’t fall asleep” he waves you inside as he whisper shouts too. 

You step in and close the door to the room as a courtesy for his grandparents. It is weird being in an enclosed space with him but you don’t have much of a choice. 

“Are you listening to Tchaikovsky?” you say in your normal voice. 

“Yeah” he nods and pats the empty spot next to him on his bed. 

“Are you sure?” you question stopping at the edge of his bed. 

He regards you in silence and as if something breaks inside him he nods. “My clothes look good on you by the way” he says taking in how his black shirt and grey sweats swallow your frame. You sit beside him under the covers, a respectable distance apart.

“Stop” you mumble feeling the heat rising to your cheeks. 

“You’re red again” he muses from beside you as a soft grin appears on his lips. 

“Will you stop it?” you slap him gently across the shoulder. 

“Fine” he chuckles. “What’s keeping you up at night?” he looks at you with those doe eyes of his. 

You and V 

If only you could tell him he’s part of the reason why you’re up at night. If you had the guarantee that telling him about V would not change a thing about your relationship with him, you would. But you have no such guarantee and you don’t want to lose whatever bond you have built with him. It’s idealistic thinking at best, but for now all you want to do is cuddle him and let that take away all your worries for the night. 

As if he can read your mind, he’s pulling you into himself and placing your head on his chest. He traces circles on your shoulder and hums slightly to the music that plays softly in the background. 

“Let me guess. You saw on discovery channel that cuddling helps people sleep” your laughter mixes in with the sounds of his humming and Tachaikovsky’s classics. 

He snorts. “It does. Discovery channel never lies” he offers in his defense. 

“Hmm” you say wrapping your arm around his torso and snuggling in closer. “I think I could fall asleep like this”

There is a moment of silence. 

“You do know that if something is troubling you, you can share it with me right?” his grip around your shoulder tightens as he gives a short reassuring squeeze. 

“I know” you mumble. “But you don’t have to be burdened by my problems” 

“It’s what friends are for isn’t it? Sharing your burdens?” 

“So we’re friends?” you question, absentmindedly playing with the fingers of his free hand and lets you. 

“I think we’re a little bit more than friends don’t you think?” 

“Hmm” you nod. “You don’t mind this?” 

“Not one bit. But the offer stands. I am always going to be there to listen to you even if I can’t help you” 

“Thank you” you say quietly, basking in the warmth of Kim Taehyung. “I’ll tell you because one day I’ll have to. But just give me time” you realize that this is all the moments you might have with him. He might never want to see you again after you tell him about V. He might feel like you betrayed him. Like you played him. 

“Take all the time you want y/n. Something has been eating away at me for days too and I am losing my mind over it. I feel like a horrible person because I don’t know what I am supposed to do. I am forced to pick between two people I adore and I just can't lose either of them...” he trails off.  

“Oh Tae” you sigh as you hug him tighter because you understand. “You know at the end of it all, you will be exactly where you should be and whoever you are supposed to be with. I don’t know if that helps you but if I was in your situation” you pause as your mind fills in the blank -- which i am-- “that’s how I would want to look at it” 

“Thanks y/n” he mumbles as he places his head on top of yours. “I guess all this talk is probably not helping you feel sleepy eh?” 

“Actually  you’re too warm and it is making me sleepy” 

You hear the reverberations of his laugh against your ear. “Good night Mrs. Kim” you can imagine the infectious grin on his face as he says it. 

You laugh in response too. It’s become somewhat of a joke between you guys. “Good night Mr. Kim” 

For some reason since all the V and Taehyung drama, Nina has become your voice of reason. When a bout of stupidity hits you she’s there to set you straight and you’re grateful for it because you can’t really see the appeal of objectivity in the situation. 

“Text V and ask him to meet up” Nina urges you, giving you the stern look just when you’re about to open your mouth in protest and whine. 

“I don’t even know if he actually lives in New York. Or if he’s on the other side of the world” you reply with resentment towards her suggestion. 

“You didn’t ask?” she looks at you in disbelief. 

“Why would I? It’s not like I was expecting this to get anywhere” you lament. 

“Well then you better talk to Taehyung about it. It’s been a week since you went to the farmhouse. You asked for time and you got it. So tell him about V” 

“I’m scared Nina” your lips just out in a pout and a frown appears on your forehead. 

“That’s normal, cousin. But you know you have to tell him. You can’t just lead him on. Just talk to one of them. But before that do you even know who you like more? Because you can’t like both of them equally and choose one of them because you have to. This isn’t a game and they aren’t toys. It wont be fair for anyone”

“I know. I realize that. I like V. I like Taehyung. That’s a fact we have established. But I do like one of them more than the other, something I realized last week” 

“How did you come to that realization?” she questions, tone full of curiosity. 

“It just hit me...out of nowhere. I almost felt the wind get knocked out of me. But now I know” you trail, the words slipping back from your tongue and collecting back in your mind again. 

“Who is it?” she asks

“I’ll tell you after I tell him” 

“There are two ‘him’s’ in this situation” she sighs. 

“Exactly” you purse your lips. 

“Fine. Then all you need to do is talk to both of them” 

“You say that like I am going to talk to them about cake or something” you shake your head. 

“In the grand scheme of things, it's like talking about cake” she winks at you in that casual way. 

“Sure. Whatever you say” your reply. 

“Make sure you do communicate with them otherwise I am gonna haul your sorry ass and make you do it. I did it once already when I signed you up. Just know I won't hesitate to act on your behalf again” she says warningly before she’s striding off without giving you the chance of scolding her. 

As your luck would have it, V is actually in San Francisco visiting his family. You don’t know why you allowed yourself to not ask him where he was going because if you had all this could have been avoided. But alas, you did ask him because he’s the first person you need to talk to. After you deal with him you’ll tell Taehyung the truth and you are prepared to face the consequences of your actions. 

You decided to meet with V at 10 am in the coffee shop near Misim because Taehyung is at Misim visiting his mother too. 

It’s 9:45 am and your heart hasn’t stopped its painful relentless beating since well last night when you texted V and asked him to meet up. Neither did you sleep and that was obvious though wasn’t it? So at 10 am on Sunday, you’re completely tired, your body begging for sleep but somehow your brain refuses to comply as it keeps you hyper alert, hyperactive, and fidgety. To make matters worse in the last 30 minutes you have already had two coffee’s. 

The door chimes and you turn around to find Kim Taehyung walking inside, clad in a suit. His hair is parted a little bit to the left of his forehead. He’s busy typing furiously on his phone and doesn’t notice the man walking towards him on a collision course.

“Taehyung!” you yell his name to prevent them both from crashing into each other and possibly getting hurt. 

Just as he’s about to bump into the man he looks up at you and then at the man walking towards him and side steps him. 

A frown graces his face as he approaches your table. “What are you doing here?” he stops next to you

“I am meeting a friend” you look up at him. 

“Me too!” his lips widen in a grin. 

“Your friend isn’t here yet?” he questions as his eyes fall on the empty chair in front of you and the two coffee cups sitting on your side of the table. 

“Do you want to sit with me while I wait for him?” you question 

He doesn’t hesitate and sits opposite you. “So it’s a guy friend. I see” he sounds a little bit jealous. 

“Are you jealous?”you question, feeling the nervousness and dread from before dissipating just a bit. 

“Kind of” he shrugs. 

You chuckle. “I like the honesty” 

He’s silent as he looks away, the tips of his ears growing red. 

“So your friend isn’t here either?” you question in order to make him feel a little less embarrassed. 

He abandons his incessant lip biting as he looks at you. “No she isn’t” 

“Oh” your mouth hangs open. “It’s a girl” 

“Why?” an amused look passes his face, lips quivering, threatening to spill into a smile. “Are you jealous?”

“Nah. I am not petty like that” you try to suppress a smile by biting your lip. 

“Liar” he narrows his eyes at you in suspicion. 

“Whatever you say Kim Taehyung” you shake your head. You crane your neck to look at the door in case someone is entering and in case that someone is V. “It’s ten and he isn’t here. I am just going to text him. Give me one sec” you slide your phone towards yourself and open the app to text V. 

Bannamilk: Hey. Are you almost here? You didn’t get lost did you?

As soon as you send the message to V, Taehyung’s phone vibrates which sits on the table. 

Strange. 

You shut your phone and look up at Taehyung. 

“Sorry. My friend, she just texted. One sec” he types quickly and when he puts his phone away, that's when your phone vibrates with a message from V. 

Your brows furrow in confusion at the strangeness of your phone and his phone buzzing when you both send texts to your respective friend’s but you shake the feeling away focusing on the message on your screen. 

Icedtea: I am here. Wait where are you?

Bananamilk: I am here too. I don’t see you. 

As soon as the message ticks off as sent, Taehyung’s phone rings at the same time. This is too many times for it to be a coincidence. Could it possibly be… Probably not but just to put your ridiculous suspicion to rest you ask him.

“Taehyung?” you question and he looks up from his phone. “Is that a message from your friend by any chance?” 

“Yeah” he nods. 

“Wait…” you bite your lip and send another message to V. Taehyung’s phone vibrates again. You send another message, just random gibberish and it vibrates again. 

“She’s just sending keyboard smashes now” Taehyung muses, looking confusedly at his phone. 

Your mouth drops open at his statement. “Taehyung” you call tentatively. He looks up and you hold your phone in his direction. 

He leans in closer to get a better look at whatever you’re showing him. His eyes dart across the screen as he reads your message and then a look of realization crosses his face. He blinks profusely, eyes switching focus from the screen to you. 

“No fucking way” he mumbles in a dazed way. 

“Yes fucking way” you mutter. “You’re V?” 

“You’re-- wait. But how?” he continues to blink rapidly, clearly unable to comprehend whatever is happening. He shakes his head, and closes his eyes for a moment and lets out a shaky breath. He opens his eyes and gapes at you“You’re bananamilk? The girl I have been talking to for weeks?” 

You nod slowly. “I- How is this even happening?” 

“I have no idea” he says under his breath, rubbing his face. 

“How have we been talking to each other on the app and face to face and not know any of this?” It's more of a rhetorical question. You don’t expect him to answer it because how the hell is he supposed to know that? 

But he does respond. “I can’t believe I never talked about Yeontan with you. If he came up we would have known a long time ago” 

“Holy fucking shit, Yeontan” you remember the picture V-- or rather Taehyung sent you as one of his very first messages to you. 

“My head is spinning right now” he massages his temples. 

“I need water” you get up and go to the ordering counter and get yourself and Taehyung water. You walk back, noticing Taehyung’s elbows planted firmly on the table and his face hidden behind his hands. 

“Water” you mutter and place the glass in front of him. He emerges from behind his hands and doesn’t delay in chugging down the glass of water. “What now?” 

“Does this change your feelings?” he questions instantly as he slams the glass on the table. 

“You know why I invited you- well actually V-- here? To tell him-- rather you-- that I like him and I like you. But I like you more than I like him and that it wouldn’t be fair for me to keep talking to him-- or talking to you” you start feeling overwhelmed by it and pause. “This is confusing” you rub your temples with a sigh.

“So you like the real me better than the app me?” he asks, a slight amusement reflecting in his eyes. 

“Don’t you feel betrayed though?” you look at him and question in all seriousness because it would make sense for him to feel at least some severity of disappointment. Because after all, this whole time to you, V and Taehyung were two different people. 

“I get what you mean. You thought V was a different guy and liked him and then you started liking me too as Taehyung, not imagining that me and V are the same people. But it’s the same for me so I can’t be mad at you. I thought you and m’lady as I know you from the app, were two different people. I liked her-- well you-- and also the real life y/n at the same time” he smiles softly. 

You bite your lip, unable to stop yourself from blinking profusely as the confusion still remains prevalent in your mind. “This is nuts” you cradle your head in your hands. “I still can’t believe it” 

“It is” Taehyung’s voice comes through like a saviour and draws you out of the dizzying trance you find yourself in. 

“Wait so when I joked with you that you’re cheating on me you grew all serious. Was that because of all this?” you question, curiosity getting the better of you. 

“Yeah. I felt horrible. Because it did feel like cheating. Here I was with this amazing girl, starting to develop feelings for her. But then I already liked another girl too” 

You shake your head slowly, still unable to fully grasp the situation. “You know I got the sense that something was wrong when you grew quiet and almost let go of my hand” 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to but it just hit me hard and I got lost in those feelings” 

“It’s okay” you offer with  a smile. 

“Are you mad at me?” he questions, voice laced with concern. 

“No. I can’t be mad at you. I mean if it was only you and there actually were two people then I might have been hurt. But we’re in this together” 

Taehyung pulls his lower lip between his teeth, a look of deep thought on his face. “So then we’re good?” 

You laugh quietly, a short huff of air out of your nose. “We’re good” 

“Since this is out in the open. I have to ask you this because I am dying of curiosity. When did you start liking me on the app and when did you start liking me in real life?” he questions, leaning in towards you. 

“I think that first spark of attraction on the app happened when we started talking about classical music and then we talked about LA and how it’s a sucky place to grow up in. In real life I realized it was when you ordered half and half of shaved ice and then when you brought those snacks for the trip to Sonoma. I thought you were kind and considerate which drew me to you even more” 

“Oooh” he chuckles. “For the app it was the same for me. But when I met you as y.n the moment that sticks out in my memory is when people at the restaurant kept calling us Mr. and Mrs. Kim. I realized I wouldn’t mind being your Mr. Kim” 

“How romantic” you joke, but you can’t deny that it's cute. 

Taehyung stifles a yawn but you catch it. “Did you not sleep?”. Sometimes it surprises you how easily you transition from one topic to another with Taehyung. There are no awkward pauses, no long deafening silences. Here you were two seconds ago talking about all the craziness but now you’re approaching a different topic. 

He shakes his head, another yawn teetering at the edge. “I was too nervous about today”. 

“Me too. I didn’t sleep a wink” you admit now that a bit of the confusion and from earlier has subsided. 

“Do you wanna nap?” he asks, wagging his brows at you. 

“Where?” you question 

“I know a place” he gets up and extends his hand. 

You take it and both of you walk out of the coffee shop hand in hand. 

You blink daftly at Taehyung, unable to believe he’s brought you here. “Your mom’s office?” 

“She has a couch” he points to the black piece of furniture that looks very comfortable at the moment. He flops down on it with a thud, head resting against the back. 

“Whatever” you mumble and make your way to the inviting plush leather sofa. “I am too tired right now to be picky” 

You lay your head in Taehyung’s lap after he insists that you use him as a pillow because “it will be more comfortable”. He plays with your hair absentmindedly, staring at nothing in particular with tired eyes. 

“What if Mrs. K comes in and sees us like this?” you question making him lift his head and look at you with those groggy eyes. 

“One, she’ll be delighted because she got her wish. Second, she won’t be here until tomorrow because her day is jam packed with meetings” he mutters, tiredness reflecting in the quietness of his voice. 

You’re quiet in response as you think about nothing in particular. But then your mind shifts to how it used to be before you met Taehyung. Things were different back then. You were so sure you couldn’t fall in love, much less fall in ‘like’ with anyone. You didn’t even want to involve yourself in relationships. But then he came in the picture and even though at first you didn’t think you would end up anywhere, you realized on that first night with him that you could end up somewhere with him. 

“Do you think this is going to change things?” you ask as you try to fight off the sleepiness because you need to know. 

“It’s not changing a thing for me. I am relieved in a way to be honest” his voice is raspy. He continues to run his fingers through your scalp which makes the sleepy sensation worse

“Relieved?” 

“Yeah. I fell for the same girl. Just different versions of her. I am so happy you are not two different people” 

“Me too” you yawn. 

“Anyway, I thought you were tired” he bends down and presses a kiss to your forehead.  

“I am ”you hold his arm over your torso and close your eyes finally. “I just wanted to know that things wouldn’t change” 

“They won’t” he mumbles sleepily and you notice his eyes fluttering shut. You let yourself drift deeper into the sweet slumber that is slowly overtaking you. The last thing you remember is the sounds of soft snores filling the room before your eyes shut. 

“Y/n” 

Jolt 

“Y/n” 

In your sleepy state you can hear someone calling your name. 

“Wake up. I should drop you home” 

You groan and shift slightly. 

“Okay seriously my legs are numb now, so you better get up” 

You murmur and refuse to open your eyes even when you feel another sharp jolt of your body being shaken. You flinch when you feel a draft of air in your ear, and have to clap your hand to shut your ear close. 

“Taehyung stop. Let me sleep” you whine in a raspy voice. 

“It’s 9 pm y/n and my dear mother is here” he whispers close to the ear you're covering. 

“What!” you awaken immediately at the mention of Mrs. K. 

“Good evening” Taehyung greets and you slide your legs over the edge of the couch as you sit with your back against the sofa. 

You look at him through half lidded eyes. “You said it’s 9 pm” 

“It’s 5 pm. We’ve been here for six hours” he smiles gently

You look around for signs of Mrs. K but the room is empty save for you and Taehyung. “You lied about your mom being here” you croak, throat feeling parched.

“It was the only way to get you up. Now, let's get you home where you can sleep more peacefully” Taehyung reaches over and places a kiss on your temple. 

“How much of a mess do I look like right now?” you rub your eyes. 

“Well, your eyes are a little puffy, lips slightly dry, and your hair is a bit messy too. So all in all you look beautiful” he grins at you. 

“Oh please don’t” you shake your head in pure disapproval. 

“Whatever you say y/n. But seriously I’ve got to get you home” 

“What are you, the curfew police?” you laugh quietly. 

“Don’t try to change the subject” 

You whine some more about wanting to sleep here because it’s comfortable but Taehyung promises that you’ll be much more comfortable at home in your bed.  And who are you to say no Taehyung? He could ask you to jump off a cliff and you would do it. He could break your heart and you would still like him. You’re putty in his hands and so you let him drive you home. 

At first when you offer Taehyung to come inside he refuses because he doesn’t want you to feel like you have to. But then when you explain that you really want him to come inside, after about fifty long seconds of thinking about it he says yes. He quietly follows you inside, and you lead him to the living room which is empty because Nina isn’t home. In fact she won’t be home for a few days. 

Taehyung makes himself comfortable and like the gentleman he is asks if he can put on Netflix. You tell him he can do whatever he likes, well because he can. You give him the freedom and permission because you trust him. After putting your stuff away you join him on the sofa and immediately he cuddles up to you, placing his head on your shoulder and wrapping an arm around your torso. You extend an arm behind him, so you can play with his hair. 

“What are we watching?” you ask, absentmindedly threading your fingers through his hair. 

“The Witcher” Taehyung mumbles as he puts on the first episode. 

“I forgot you are well aware of my Henry Cavill obsession” 

“You forget I think he’s a piece of art. So technically I am doing this for me and you” he says softly, eyes glued to the TV. 

You watch a few episodes in silence, occasionally changing your positions so that sometimes you are resting your head on his shoulder, or he’s laying his head on your lap and playing with your fingers as you’re both completely absorbed in the show.

He shifts his head in your lap as he turns his focus to you. “Y/n” his voice overlaps with the sounds of the Tv. “Will you be my girlfriend?” 

You look down at him with a soft smile. “Yes, I will” you reach down and press your lips against his. Taehyung immediately melts into it, hand reaching up to cup your cheek to deepen the kiss. Then in one smooth motion, he’s pinning you under himself. Your moans are muffled by his lips pressing soft kisses against your lips. His hands grip your sides, nails digging into your flesh. 

“I want to do more than just kiss you y/n” he mumbles against your lips

You let him. 

A shiver runs down your spine as Taehyung hovers over you, the bed creaking slightly due to the pressure of his hands digging into the mattress. He presses a kiss to your forehead, your nose, and then your lips. It begins as something playful, almost innocent but soon enough lust takes over and his kisses get hungrier. He wants more, and he conveys it as he digs his nails into your flesh making you wince in pain, but it’s the kind that’s pleasurable. 

“Fuck I want you so bad y/n” he runs his fingers down the middle of your torso, hand stopping just above your hip bone, where he teasingly plays with the band of your jeans. 

“Stop being a tease” you chide breathlessly, turning your head to look away from him

“Tell me you want it” he gently drags his finger upwards and it catches in the material of your shirt which rides up, partially exposing your stomach. His fingers continue grazing against your skin until his hand with your jaw and he makes you look at him. “Say it” he whispers softly, looking you straight in the eyes. 

“I want it. I want you” 

Taehyung doesn’t waste any time after you give him permission. He unzips your jeans and pulls them down your legs leaving you exposed in your panties. As he’s busy with that you almost rip your shirt as you hastily slide it over your head and throw it on the floor. A slight feeling of impatience overcomes you, as Taehyung very slowly crawls back up to you, leaving a trail of kisses over your exposed abdomen. 

You’re so impatient that you arch your back to gain access to your bra clip but he is quick to grip your hand just as you’re about to unhook it “Leave it on” the expression in his eyes darkens considerably as he kisses up your chest and nibbles on your collarbone. 

“Is that your kink?” you whisper breathlessly threading your fingers through his hair as he continues to bite gently along your collarbone. 

“I think it’s hotter that way” he mumbles as his lips graze your skin. 

 He locks his hands in yours and raises your arms above your head while he moves down to press soft kisses along your inner thigh until he reaches just above your core. He licks a strip along the skin just above the hem of your panties, teasing you, making your insides ache even more for some kind of friction.

“Just do it” you mumble impatiently. 

He chuckles. “Didn’t pin you for the impatient type” 

“Didn’t pin you for the talking type” you tease. “I thought you would be more of an action kind of guy” you try to provoke just so he will act and loosen the knot that’s built in the pit of your stomach. A pulsating sensation rips through your core when he pushes away the fabric of your underwear and rubs his thumb up and down your clit. 

“Shit” you shiver, back arching. 

“I haven’t even touched you properly y/n” his raspy voice makes the throbbing even worse. You can feel yourself getting wet. 

“Then do it. Please” you whine, craving his touch. 

“Who am I to say no?” and without a warning he plunges a finger inside you. 

“Oh my god, Taehyung--” your breath catches in your throat, breaking out in gasps as he pushes in and out slowly. 

“Wow, you’re tight” Taehyung mumbles as he sets a slow pace making sure you can feel every movement. He curls his index finger inside you, hitting that sweet spot that has your whole body stiffening in response. 

“Taehyung” you gasp, hips bucking automatically at the contact, your body yearning for the release that is building up slowly. 

“Fuck” he whispers as he presses his lips against your clit, moving his tongue in ways that makes you almost scream out of pleasure. You clutch the fabric of the bed sheet tight, knuckles turning white as Taehyung increases the pace with which he slides his finger in and out of you. You can hear the squelch of his fingers fucking you as your walls begin to clamp down on his fingers. The knot in your stomach twists, as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. 

But just as you feel yourself teeter at the edge Taehyung takes his finger out. 

“What are you doing?” you ask annoyed at being denied your orgasm. 

“Your turn” he shuffles from between your legs and sits down at the edge of the bed, and takes his pants and boxers off.  He looks over his shoulder at you, tongue peeking from behind his teeth. You get up, even though your legs feel weak and shift to the side so he has space. He shuffles back until he’s resting against the headboard. 

When you see him, your eyes travel immediately between his legs. “Wow” you blink profusely. “I am not sure it will--” 

“You’ll be fine. I got you” he says reassuringly as for a slight moment the primal expression of his eyes softens to be replaced by the comforting Kim Taehyung you are used to. “I promise” 

You did not expect him to be that thick and long. You can see the veins popping along his shaft. Slightly worried, you crawl over to him on your hands and knees as he grips himself. You lick your lips at the sight of him looking he’s fucked out of his mind and you haven’t even touched him. It only serves to make your arousal worse. 

You slap his hands away and wrap your own around his shaft. You bend down to lick a teasing line along the side and feel him shudder under you. Your confidence soars seeing him react so sensitively to your touch. You lick another strip at the crimson head, already leaking with precum. 

“Stop being a fucking tease” his voice comes out strained which makes you laugh quietly, a huff of air out through your nose. 

“Just repaying the favour Mr. Kim” you part your lips taking in as much of his cock into your mouth as you can. He reaches for your hair and pulls it back and thrusts his hips making you gag. You feel the head of his cock hit the back of your throat and you feel a slight burn in your jaw as he thrusts into your mouth once more.

“Fuck” he groans halting the movement and to let you continue on your own.  You pull back up to the head and sink back down again and he shivers beneath you once more. You pull away from him, breathless as you wrap your fingers around him. You look up to meet his hooded eyes and start massaging his cock, watching as he bites his lip and a soft whimper escapes his throat. 

“Keep going” he strains. You move your hand up and down against his shaft slowly at first and then you pick up the pace when you notice he starts twitching between your fingers. His thighs are tense as you fasten your pace and his chest rises and falls faster than before. The soft moans grow louder, hips lifting off the bed. It’s not long before he’s climaxing, and gasping for air as he bucks his hips for more friction. A guttural groan passes his lips as his orgasm hits him hard and his release coats your hands. But you don’t mind because the way Taehyung is gasping for air, red-faced, his hair in his eyes, lip caught between his teeth, it was worth it.

“I help you, you help me” you mumble as you lick your fingers free of his juices. 

“That’s so hot y/n. Fuck. Just lie down” he orders and you don’t waste a single second getting on your back. 

Taehyung hovers over you, hands locking yours in place beside your head, as he presses a  hungry kiss to your lips. He leaves your mouth to place soft kisses to the crook of your neck. He lingers there for a moment before making his way back down until he is between your legs. He spreads your legs apart, and settles in between them immediately sliding two fingers this time in your core as he looks at you from between your legs. 

“That’s it. Come on baby.” he mumbles as he dives in and suckles on your clit making that pressure build-up again as he moves in rhythm with his fingers. Your body feels like it’s on fire and you can't help but buck your hips in need of more friction. His fingers and his tongue pick up their pace making you keen as they work in tandem. 

He pulls his mouth away from your clit. He fervently pushes his fingers in and out of you while with his other hand he rubs your clit. “Cum for me babe” 

With the overstimulation, it’s not long before you are coming undone, walls pulsating and convulsing around his fingers. He draws patterns with his thumb on your clit as you climax. You shiver, and fist the bed sheet until your knuckles turn white as waves of pleasure rip through you. 

“Taehyung-” you whimper 

He licks as much of your cum as he can before he pulls away, shifting to place a soft kiss on your forehead. 

“You were amazing” he praises as he rolls off you, gathering you up in his arms, feeling the sheen of sweat on your skin as he strokes your arm. “Shower?” he questions, slightly breathless. 

“Give me a minute” you pant heavily trying to catch your breath as you snuggle against his warm body.

He chuckles and presses another kiss to your forehead. “Whatever you want y/n”

After you shower and clean yourself up, you and Taehyung make your way downstairs to the living room where you had left The Witcher on. You both fall down on the couch and you cuddle against him. He wraps his arm around you pulling you in closer. He reaches for the remote with his free hand and goes back to episode three which is where you had left off. 

“Taehyung?” you ask softly

“Yeah” he replies, eyes glued to the show. 

“Who was that girl in the picture you drew? The paper that I gave you when I first met you. I saw it” 

“You” he replies. 

You pull away from his warm embrace to look at him. You are sure it wasn’t you because it looked nothing like you. “Me?” your brows furrowed in confusion. 

“I saw your picture on Swipe, but you were wearing sunglasses that covered half your face. So I didn’t clearly know what you looked like. On my way here to meet my mother, I made that sketch based on what I thought you would look like given your personality. I did that because I had started to like you.” 

“Thats--” you have no words so you grab the material of his shirt and pull him in for a quick kiss. 

“What was that?” he asks, confused once you pull apart. 

“That deserves a kiss. You made me a playlist and then you drew a sketch. It was not of me. But it’s the thought that counts” you smile. 

“I have a question too” he looks at you curiously. 

“Go ahead” 

“What did you wish for that day? I know you said you don’t wish and tell but I want to know if that wish came true” he reaches for your hand and locks his fingers into yours. 

You’re quiet as you look at this man in front of you. The man who came like a whirlwind into your life and turned it upside down. A man you didn’t know until two weeks ago and then you knew all of him as V and as Taehyung. You got to see two different sides of him when people in this day and age are lucky enough to see one true side of someone. 

“What was it?” he prompts again with a soft smile that crinkle’s the corners of his eyes. 

“You” you whisper. “It was you. I wished for you” 

“You didn’t even know me back then” he blinks in an awestruck manner. 

“Yes I did. Just not in the way you or I thought. I wished that one day I hope I would meet V. Little did I know my wish had already come true hours before I made it and that it was standing in front of me in the form of you, Kim Taehyung” 

He blinks. He’s quiet as he looks at you, eyes travelling the expanse of your face as if he’s trying to commit to memory. His eyes sparkle, and you can see yourself reflected in his brown irises. You can see yourself through them and for a moment you think you look beautiful. 

“I love you” he leans in and presses a peck to your lips. “I love you so fucking much” 

You’re positively beaming when he pulls away. “I love you too. So fucking much” you reply and he laughs pulling you into his side as both of you settle back to watch The Witcher. 

{2 months later} 

When you and Taehyung decide to take things forward, you spend the night over at his place in San Francisco when he’s there instead of your own which is perfectly fine with Nina. He flies out from New York every few weeks to see you which is one of the many cute things he does for you.

On one Friday night when he’s in town and you’re at his place, your sweet sweet slumber is disturbed by an annoying Taehyung at 1 am. The sounds of feet shuffling against the floor, objects clattering here and there, muffled sounds of music just makes it all the more difficult to stay asleep. You whine and turn on your stomach and run your hand to the other side of the bed, searching for a pillow. Once your hand makes contact with the fluffy object, you throw it over your ear to block out the annoying sounds. 

“Y/n wake up” Taehyung’s voice blares through the room followed by the slow increase in the volume of music. “I’ll give you ten seconds babe” 

“No….” you maon, clutching the pillow tighter to your ear. 

“10, 9, 8, 7….” Taehyung’s voice grows nearer and nearer until the covers are being ripped off you along with the pillow. “We still need to get tickets” 

You open an eye to find Taehyung looming over you, hands pressed on either side of you on the mattress. He’s  already dressed and he smells like strawberries-- as usual. You abandon your comfortable sleeping position and turn on your back, eyes still half closed. “Can you really not tell me where we are going?” you complain as you open your eyes to find him looking at you with a soft look in his eyes. 

“Even I don’t know where we are going. Impromptu vacation remember?” he explains as he gets up on the bed and straddles you. He wraps his fingers around your forearms and lifts you up. “Alright, up and at em’ ” he strains. Once you’re sitting up, he kisses the tip of your nose and shuffles off the bed. You’re so tired you can’t even be bothered to feel your usual blushy self at his cute romantic gestures. 

“Can’t I sleep for five more minutes” you yawn. 

“Y/n” he says warningly. You look in his direction to find him standing in front of the dressing table mirror, fixing his already perfect hair. “Get up or no more Henry Cavill movie marathons on the weekends” he looks at you through the mirror knowing that threatening you with this will do the trick.

“Wow” your jaw drops. “You’re really gonna do me dirty like that?” 

“Okay seriously...” Taehyung turns on his heels and strides over to you, placing one arm under your knees and the other behind your back as he picks you up. 

“Taehyung!” you squeal as he carries you over to the bathroom. He kicks the door open with his foot and enters inside, placing you gently on the floor. You shiver as your feet touch the cold floor. The mirror is fogged, exhaust fans blaring above you. 

“Shower. Now” he ushers you towards the bathtub. He turns back towards the bathroom cabinets, crouches down and takes out a towel and stands up turning to you. He thrusts it in your hand. “Hurry up please” he stands on his toes to place a kiss on the top of your head and then he’s closing the door leaving you slightly annoyed. 

You begrudgingly listen to him and quickly shower putting on your bathrobe. Once you’re out of the bathroom you find the bed has already been made, and your clothes laid out on the bed. Taehyung is one his phone as he’s relaxing on the bed. 

“Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you?” you enter further into the room. 

“No you haven’t but the feeling is mutual” Taehyung abandons his perch on top of the bed and quietly exits the room to let you change. It’s when he does things like this that makes you want to jump his bones. But given that you are on a time constraint and still a little tired you’re not in the mood for jumping anything. 

Kim Taehyung sure does have taste as he picks out an outfit similar to his. Black cargo pants, with a white shirt and a blue denim jacket. You hear Taehyung calling out for you and quickly put on your clothes. 

“I am done!” you yell back and he enters the room. “Did you pick matching outfits?” you ask because he’s also dressed in a white shirt tucked in black cargo pants and a loose blue denim jacket completes the look. 

“It’s the trend these days. I would love to shower you in compliments because you look way better than I do, but we don’t have time” he tugs you by the wrist and hurries downstairs with you in tow. “Your shoes are by the door” he comments, gathering the luggage. Taehyung quickly puts his shoes on. He rushes past you with carry-on bags slung over his shoulders and hands occupied by the suitcases. 

The night is crisp and slightly chilly as you step out and lock the door. You run over to the car, Taehyung already in the driver's seat all strapped in. This is the only time in your very new two month relationship where Taehyung hasn’t opened the car door for you. You quickly sit and put your seatbelt on and then he drives off.

“So where do you want to go?” he asks as you stand hand in hand in front of the large board displaying all the domestic flights. 

When Taehyung suddenly proposed a spontaneous vacation your options were limited to staying in the country because everywhere else you would need a visa.  But you didn’t have time for that so you both settled on picking the earliest flight you would find at the airport when you arrived. 

You point to the board. “Seems like it’s gonna have to be New York” you say as it’s the earliest flight out of San Francisco at 4 am. 

Taehyung follows your finger. “That’s easy then. I live there. We don’t even need to find a hotel” 

“Well now you get to go home” you smile at him. 

He uses his free hand and places it on your other cheek as he pulls you in to kiss your temple. “You’re my home silly. My home is where you are” 

“See when you say things like that I don’t know what to do with myself. But  you’re my home too” you admit daringly, not shying away at all. 

He chuckles as he looks down at you. “I am never going to stop saying things like this. Ever. Because I am allowed to say them to you. If not you then who?” he grins from ear to ear. 

“Kim Taehyung, if only you could see inside my heart and my mind and know how you make me feel” you sigh. 

“I can see it on your face y/n. I don’t need anything else to know that” he pauses, the look in his eyes softening ever so slightly at seeing your lips quiver in a smile. That’s all he really needs to know what you feel. “Now, are you okay with New York?” he asks, directing both of your attention to more urgent matters because even he knows both of you could go on for hours about how much you love each other.

“It’s the earliest one, plus I have never been so it’s as good as any other place. Let's hope they have seats” you shrug. 

After deciding on New York, Taehyung goes to the check in desk while you wait behind. You watch as he speaks with the lady at the desk and after a moment her eyes are scanning the screen in front of her. She looks up at him with a smile and then he turns over his shoulder with a grin and throws you a thumbs-up. 

You immediately feel giddy at the prospect of going to New York with Taehyung and seeing the Rockefeller Centre, Central Park, Statue of Liberty, Times Square and the Empire State Building. You haven’t told him but you’ve held this fantasy of kissing him at the top of the Empire State Building ever since you got together.

He comes back with two boarding passes and tickets and hands one to you. “Lets go!” he says excitedly with a sparkle in his eyes as he naturally holds your hand. 

“We’re really doing this?” you ask as you beside him disbelief painted on your face. 

“I told you I would take you anywhere y/n and I meant it. Next time I am gonna take you on a real-out-of-the-country vacation. I promise” he looks down at you, a boxy smile ever present on his face as he squeezes your hand. 

The waiting area is almost empty save for a few people here and there. You lie with your head in his lap, his denim jacket serving as a blanket on your feet as you are reading the Blood of the Elves-- the book that The Witcher is based on, a fact you didn't know until two weeks ago when Taehyung mentioned it. You practically freaked out and the next day a package of the series was waiting for you on your desk at work. 

Taehyung runs his hands through your hair, too immersed in his own book. You pull down the novel to your chest and read the title of his book as it hovers above you. 

“The subtle art of not giving a fuck” you mumble. 

Taehyung’s face emerges from behind the book upon hearing you say that. “It’s a very good read” he closes the book.

“I hate non-fiction stuff” you reply. 

“I know” he bends and places a soft peck on your lips. “Listen, I have something to give you” 

“Oh?” you lift yourself off him and slide your legs over the edge of the seats and straighten up next to him. He rummages through his carry on and pulls out a piece of rolled paper with a red tie around it. 

He holds it out for you. “Open it” 

You take it from him, the texture of the paper soft against your fingers. You carefully untie the red string and the paper unfolds partially. You roll it back, eyes widening and mouth dropping open. “Taehyung….” you look at him .

“Do you like it?” he asks softly almost like he’s nervous that you won’t. 

“I- I love it. When did you draw this?” you ask as you look down to admire the art-- rather your face which is staring back at you as a black and white sketch. 

“I had some spare time” you look up to find him grinning at you. 

“No one has ever done anything like this for me” you blink up at him, realizing for the first that he’s done things for you no one has-- he made you a playlist, helped you swim, and now he’s made you a sketch. “Why?” you question softly. 

“Because you’re art y/n. To me you are the most beautiful piece of art. You take my breath away and I am catastrophically and hopelessly in love with you.” 

“Kim Taehyung you… are...” you whisper as you stare at him in awe and disbelief, a smile pulling at your lips. You tug him towards you by the neckline of his t-shirt and then press your lips on his. You kiss him like you’ve never kissed anyone before. It feels like you’re drowning in your feelings for him and the only air you need is the touch of his lips against yours. When you pull back  Taehyung’s ears are beet red, and his lips are stained pink by your lip gloss. 

“I love you too, y/n” he looks at you with a fond look in his eyes. 

“I love you more” you reply. 

He gasps. “How dare you. I love you way more than you love me” 

Your voices fill the air as you continue to argue about who loves who more. 

You had no intention of being the seventeen year old you once were-- the one who could fall in love. But then Kim Taehyung waltzed into your life and made you feel like you were seventeen again. He made you fall in love with all of him. And you would gladly fall for him all over again if you were given the choice. 

Thank you so much for reading. if you liked it be sure to let me know! My ask box and DMs are open :) 

[morgana-ren]

Imagine being at a Halloween party thrown by Dabi and someone in a Leatherface costume keeps following you. It turns out to be Shigaraki. You comment on how his human skin mask is cool and how it looks so real, and oddly looks like Bakugo's face. He laughs, tosses it away and leads you to a field of pumpkins, where he non cons you, while Spooky Scary Skeletons plays in the background.

Okay listen, I know this was probably sent in 200 percent as a joke, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to sit down for an hour and make it work. It’s been a weird week. I can make weird work. 

Like imagine kinda knowing Dabi before the league goes super big. You don’t know too much about him, but he’s a friend of a friend and so on and he’s got the dangerous bad boy appeal alongside those haunting blue eyes, so all ya friends hover around him. So lets say you get invited to his spooky-dooky Halloween party he’s throwin’ in an old warehouse. It’s sort of his last hurrah cause it’s a lot harder to try and bone civvie girls when you’re a wanted villain with your face on the news attached to a criminal group, so he’s gunna throw it back tonight and take what he can get, you feel?

So you and ya friends get all cute and dolled up in your costumes and head out to this bash that’s taking place on the wrong side of the tracks in some godforsaken warehouse. It’s in the industrial zone, which is comprised of nothing but abandoned buildings, squat houses, and old warehouses. You’re pretty sure he just found one and broke the chain on the door and called it a night. That should be your first clue, but fuck it, what’s life without a little risk?

Anyway, a few hours pass and admittedly, you’re a lil’ drunk. That being said, you could swear this dude in a leatherface costume is stalking you. Maybe not stalking you, per say, but he’s definitely trying hard to be where you are. It’s not like he’s easy to confuse with anyone else; his costume is super unique, and if you’re being honest, a little disturbing. It legit looks like that kid Bakugo from the Sports Festival but forcefully mutated in with the classic Leatherface look. Whoever it is, they’ve definitely got an edgy sense of humor. It should spook you, but it’s Halloween for fucks sake! At least they’re putting some effort in! It’s no coincidence that you see him literally everywhere you go, so maybe he likes you?

Maybe he’s cute under that creepy mask.

It’s worth a shot (get it, shot?), so you let him follow you to the bar and sit down next to an equally empty seat, hoping to give off the vibe of ‘quit being creepy and come talk to me.’ 

A few seconds later and surprise surprise, he sits down right beside you. No sense in pretending this is anything other than what it is, so you turn right to him and offer to buy him a drink. 

He stares at you for a minute, beady pupils surveying you beneath that godawful mask he’s donning before he nods. He doesn’t tell you what he wants, so you just order him whatever mixture of gasoline and fruit you get. He just stares at you while you sip at your own drink, and you can’t help but laugh. His eyes are fuckin’ intense, and while you’re already a little tipsy, it’s pretty clear he’s dead sober. Luckily, alcohol gives you a charming ice breaker. 

“It’s probably a little difficult to drink with that terrifying thing on your face, but I really appreciate your dedication to the look.” 

Behind the holes of the mask, his eyes crinkle near the edges. You can’t tell if he’s smiling or snarling, but he’s definitely reacting to what you’re saying. He must’ve decided that he likes you, because he finally reaches behind his head and loosens whatever makeshift strap that’s tangled in his silver, ‘fake’ blood matted hair. 

As he lets it fall away from his face, you study what’s underneath. He’s a little rough around the edges, a little chapped with dry skin and more than a few blisters on his pale lips, but he’s cute and the costume has you intrigued. For all you know, it could be liquid latex. The guy seems pretty dedicated after all. It makes you wonder what is Halloween paint and what’s his actual skin. You kinda wanna lick him and find out.

Shut up, alcohol. 

“It’s homemade.” He rasps out, voice cracking and strained like he hasn’t spoken in days. After a sip of his own drink, he slips a subtle smile as he sees you eying the grotesque costume piece. “I’m glad you like it.”

It’s gross to say the least. Whatever it’s made out of, it’s certainly not plastic or rubber like most masks. It smells atrocious, especially coupled with the must and cheap booze of the warehouse, and it makes you a little queasy as it flops around in his lap a little too lifelike for your liking. It even has pores, for Christ’s sake. Tearing your gaze away from it isn’t easy, but if you look much longer, you’re not really sure what your stomach is gunna do, so you turn your attentions to the owner instead. 

“Are you making a statement or just not a fan of the would-be hero types?”

He giggles a little even though you’re not entirely sure what you said was funny. “I guess you could say it’s both.” 

You sit in an awkward silence, sipping at your drink for a few minutes before another wave of alcohol induced courage lights a fire under your ass. If he won’t talk, you sure as fuck will.

“So, are you a friend of Dabi’s or-” He scoffs, loud and hard, lip curling in distaste. “No. I’m unfortunate enough to know him. We work together.” 

“Really? I always wondered what he did for a living.” 

It takes him a second to realize that’s you’re prodding, and a minute longer to come up with an answer. “I guess you could say we’re sort of... activists or something.” 

“Is that so? He never really struck me as the generous type.”

“He’s not.” He grins like a fox in a henhouse, mischievous and sly like he knows something you don’t. “And I’m not either.” 

“Then why be an activist?” 

His smirk fades, and he nurses his drink, flicking his eyes away from you. “I dunno.”

“What kind of activist are you? Like social or environmental or-” 

“Uh-” He clearly wasn’t expecting this line of questioning. “Political.” 

“Oh, that’s cool! What kind of politics are you guys into? You seem like the anarchy sort to me, but I don’t wanna judge-”

“Are you always this nosy?”

His sudden hostility takes you back a little. Sure, you’re drunk and annoying, but that seems a bit excessive. Maybe this isn’t the tree you want to be barking up tonight. 

“Sorry. I was just trying to get to know you.” 

You turn your body away from him slightly, returning your gaze to the rusted metal behind the makeshift bar. You can see him glaring you down out of your periphery but opt to ignore it. Regardless, he stares for a few more moments before downing the rest of the drink you apparently wasted your money on.  “Well, don’t.” 

Whatever, man. It’s a fucking Halloween party. You can find a different jerk-ass to hook up with, one who at least pretends to be nice until the night is over. Dicks are a dime a dozen in a place like this, and the ‘super mysterious, if I told you, I’d have to kill you’ bullshit charade he’s playing is grating on your nerves. Part of you wants to tell him off for being so rude, but the other part is telling you to just shut up, project your disinterest, and wait for him to leave.

You huff a small sigh, blowing the air out of your puckered lips as you roll your eyes behind closed lids. Your side of the conversation comes to an abrupt halt, and suddenly everything in the room is more interesting than he is. Yet even with the uncomfortable awkward air around you both, he doesn’t leave. He just continues scanning you over as you do your best to give him the cold shoulder. So he really thinks there’s any sort of comeback from that, huh?

Apparently he does. He’s not very good with social hints either. You’ve almost tuned him out when you feel a bony hand clutching your upper arm. 

“Hey, come with me. This place is boring and I’ve got something I want to show you.” 

You turn, shooting him a disbelieving glare, but he’s already slid off his bar stool and is pulling you along with him. He doesn’t bother to wait for your answer, weaving through the crowds and dragging you behind him even as you try to wiggle your arm out of his grasp. Had you been in your right mind, you might have screamed or shoved him and told him to get lost, but your liquor marinated mind makes it difficult. He’s kinda right, after all. This place has gotten boring. All your friends left you behind an hour ago to go find their own conquests and dancing by yourself gets pretty lame after a minute. It’s not like you had anything better to do. 

Alright, fine. Follow the rude guy. He seems pretty adamant about it anyway. 

You try to justify it by telling yourself maybe he’s just super socially awkward or doesn’t have much experience with girls. He could also be one of those super brash, brutally honest people that just says whatever comes to mind. Maybe he didn’t mean it in a mean way. A trailing history of terrible taste in men leaves his unbridled rudeness with a bad taste in your mouth, but it wasn’t like you were planning on seeing him again after tonight. Ride the dick and then ride off into the sunset. 

You both dodge through the groups of people together as he yanks you towards the very back of the warehouse. The couple of doors he leads you through have a fairly prominent ‘Do Not Enter’ sign cautioning at eye level, but he doesn’t seem dissuaded, pulling you through the heavy doors despite the clear warning. A few hallways and dim, empty corridors later and he’s ushering you into something resembling a claustrophobic courtyard outside that joins the warehouse with a few of the surrounding buildings.

It’s very dark outside, and aside from the slight shine of ugly yellow tinted streetlights peeking through the alleyway, you can’t see much of anything. You can’t imagine what on Earth it is out here that he wants to show you, but you doubt you’ll even be able to see it. Anxiety starts to bloom in your chest as your drunk mind starts to realize that you’ve followed a stranger out into a very dark, very isolated area.

“H-hey, I never got your name.”

He laughs softly, coming up behind you and gripping your shoulders in a way that feels all too tight. Steering you forward, he leans in, feet falling in line with your steps.

“You’re right. My bad, that’s awfully rude of me.”

He pushes you forward in a way that seems a bit intense for having just met before latching his hands lazily around the base of your neck and pulling you into his chest.

“I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t know what Dabi does for a living, or else you never would have been stupid enough to follow me out here.”

Okay, it’s Halloween and all, but his brand of prank is starting to feel a little too real. The macabre costume and total boorishness should have been the insight you needed to come to the conclusion that this guy just isn’t quite right in the head, but between the alcohol and your desire to give him the benefit of the doubt, it just never quite clicked for you.

“It’s Shigaraki, by the way. My name. I’m sure you’ve heard it before.”

His wet breath on your neck isn’t the only reason you get shivers. You have heard that name before, only never spoken so casually. His fingers tighten around the tensing muscles in your throat as you swallow down a bombardment of emotion. Panic. Fear. Realization.

There’s a million and ten things going through your mind right now, the foremost of which is why. You aren’t a hero, nor are you a particularly fervent hero supporter. You’re not related to any heroes, and frankly, there’s no one further from the social/cultural hub that is hero society. Isn’t that what this guy gets his rocks off to? At least from the news snippets, that’s the impression you gathered.

You want to ask him why you. Maybe its a selfish question but it’s a question none the less, and one people tend to ask when their place on the mortal coil is being threatened. Yet, no matter how you try to spit out the words, your tongue stills in your dry mouth and refuses to cooperate. The pounding in your chest is giving way to a headache and a serious case of sick, and you swear between the loud pulsing of blood in your veins, you can hear him giggling behind you.

You think maybe that’s a strong enough cue to leave. You can ask him why when you’re separated by a thick layer of glass at Tartarus.

You know, it’s easy to sit back in the comfort of your own home and laugh at the clumsy heroine in any given horror movie who fumbles away from the killer like a newborn fawn just discovering its own lanky legs, but you’re quick to understand just why that troupe is so popular. It takes you a moment to gather the courage to turn on your heel and shove him hard on the chest, and even when you manage, it’s so weak and pathetic that it barely knocks him off balance. It only just gives you enough space that you can dart in the opposite direction. Where you’re going, you have no clue, but it’s not on the forefront of your mind as you pound pavement beneath your shitty costume shoes and shout “Stay away from me!” like some cliche damsel in distress.

Your adrenaline fueled getaway is short lived. A few seconds after beginning your feverish sprint away from what you know to be a very dangerous young fellow, the front of your foot catches on something and sends you toppling to the ground only a few feet from where you began your initial rush. Your fall is less than graceful, and the shriek that emits from your throat before your body thuds to the dirt like a sack of potatoes is far less sexy than anything in any horror movie. The bag you’ve been clutching, filled with nothing but the bare essentials and a half empty flask, is flung from your fingers. Your assailant doesn’t slow-walk towards you in a menacing manner while wielding a knife, but practically jogs over, wheezing with nasally laughter as he grabs you by the hair.

“I bet that went a lot better in your head, huh?”

A lot of things went a lot better in your head, to be fair. That scene. This night. Your life in general. But the little pity party you’re throwing yourself does little to garner his sympathies. No amount of hiccuping and crying fat gobs of tears that leak from your lashes and down into the Halloween makeup it took you hours to do elicits any response from him but what he had already planned on.

His laughter finally dies down and the fingers threaded through your hair manhandle you to your knees before roughly casting you down onto something. Something hollow yet sturdy greets your sensitive, liquor addled stomach as he forces you down and bends you over it. It feels slightly waxy, yet organic to the touch, and seems to wobble around slightly the more he kicks and prods you into a position you’ve seen one too many times in those shitty free pornos.

Pumpkin. It’s a fucking pumpkin.

You can smell the leaves and grass and sodden soil as he positions your hips up in the air, shucking off the costume apron he’d been wearing. Dirt embeds under your finger nails as you struggle to drag the rest of your body over the pumpkin to make your escape, but the hand that isn’t currently fumbling with his zipper is still tightly anchored in your hair, holding you in place. He hisses out a few words warning you against struggling too hard, his quirk is uncontrollable after all.

He makes quick work of the cheap costume bottom, inhaling a ragged breath and digging his jagged nails in a little too tightly to your skin when your ass becomes bared to the cool night air. The sight of you must’ve made him impatient, as he settles for simply yanking up your top along your back to expose your tits instead of going through the effort to try and get it off you. If what you’ve heard is true, he could simply dust it and be rid of it, but he doesn’t seem like he’s in the most centered form of mind right now, and it doesn’t appear like it’s your death he’s after.

No, it seems like he’s after something much more intimate than death.

Your mind is acutely aware of what’s about to happen, but it’s trapped in your paralyzed body, unable to force your heavy limbs to move with the weight of the panic. He’s freed himself from his pants, knuckles bumping against the cleft of your ass with every jerk of the cock that you thank God is hidden from your vision. After a few rigorous pumps, he withdraws for a moment before spitting and dribbling his slick saliva into the palm of his hand, coating his cock and using it as a makeshift lubricant.

When he’s finished making spitting sounds that make your stomach church, he lines his hips against your reluctantly spread legs and you feel the hot, thick tip prodding against the tautly pulled walls of your entrance. It’s enough to renew your childlike kicking and whining, babbling and pleading for him to stop. Regardless, he pays you no mind, opting only to yank his hand from the roots of your hair. It stings and he takes several strands of hair with it, but you don’t have time to focus on the pain as his fingertips dig into the fat of your cheeks, flexing and forcing you to look up at him as he hunches his wiry frame over yours.

It’s hard to see through the haze of tears that blear your vision and thick black makeup caking around your eyes, but you can make out that he’s smiling. If you can call it that, that is. Cracked lips wet and parted, breathing hot, moist breath down onto your forehead. Lips curled upward in a nasty, smarmy grin. A slimy tongue trails along his teeth as he practically drools down onto your shoulder like you’re a thick cut of venison and he’s a rabid wolf ready to sink in his canines.

“You know, I never cared much for Halloween,” His hips cant forward ever so slightly and begins to push the tip inside your unwilling hole. Slowly, slowly at first, but soon with more force. It hurts, morphing from a dull ache into an intense sting the more his girthy length is stuffed snug inside between your thighs. “But Dabi was right- it’s a lot more fun when you dress up.”

To punctuate the end of his sentence, he pulses his hips forward, sinking himself all the way inside and watching with a sick sense of glee as your face contorts in pain. He rolls his hips experimentally against your backside a few times, hissing in slight discomfort at the bittersweet tightness that strangles his flesh inside of yours. It stills him only for a brief moment, long enough for you to truly grasp the horrendous sensation of your body molding to accommodate something too large for it to have been ready to take.

However uncomfortable he may be, it’s nothing compared to what you’re feeling. It seems like a cruel joke that the wanted villain who set his sights on you that night would also have a monster cock, but Halloween was always the devil’s little prank show. He’s crammed it inside you with no regard for the damage it might do, pain radiating in the deep of your stomach as his cockhead is scrunched firmly against the wall of your cervix. Your fingers dig deeper into the dirt, but not to escape. You’re aware you’re too firmly impaled on him for that to be an option, so you settle for trying to give yourself any sensation at all that will lessen the unholy tear of your already sensitive pussy.

Eventually he decides he’s had enough of memorizing your pretty, anguished face, and his movements begin anew. Hips pistoning in a building rhythm, flesh of his thighs slapping obscenely against your bare ass. The protruding stem of the pumpkin grates into your abdomen, forcing pained, breathy ‘ah’s from you with every powerful hump. The anguishing drag of his cock assaulting your insides begins to blend together one after the next, and you do your best to block out the animalistic grunts and a sickening moans he emits with every thrust.

Eventually he lets your face go in favor of sinking his fingers just below your waist to anchor you in place as he pounds away, and you take the opportunity to drop your head in defeat and clench your eyes shut. He’ll get bored of you or he’ll cum. It’s what comes after that you should really be worried about. By the sounds he’s making, he’s far from losing interest. He seems to be getting a bit carried away, muttering something along the lines of “take it, slut” and needing to celebrate holidays more often.

That’s when you hear it.

Spooky, scary, skeletons send shivers down your spine

At first, you think it’s a joke. Like you’re having some sort of twisted nightmare and reality has finally decided to throw you a bone to lead your consciousness back home. But his manic fucking never stops and neither does the pain.

Shrieking souls with shock your soul, seal your doom tonight

A few blinks to clear the fresh wave of agony and one hand digging into the side of the pumpkin to stable yourself enough against his rutting to search for the source of the noise. There’s a glowing light a few feet from you, flashing and vibrating but just out of reach.

Your phone. It’s your phone. Your bag had landed not far from where he had you pinned, and your phone had been thrown from the bag.

Your new October ringtone plays through the damaged speakers, flashing your best friends face on the screen. She’s looking for you, probably wondering where you went. She’d never find you here. No one would.

We’re so sorry skeletons, you’re so misunderstood

Help is so close, yet so far away. Your sobs begin anew, feeling his cock pulse as he whines something about breeding his pretty little bitch into your ear. He’s cumming inside you, papping his hips against you in a shallow, offbeat rhythm. You can feel it, hear it squelching and leaking down your thighs. He came. Inside you. And judging from what few words you can make out between your agonized cries, he has every intention of doing it again.

You just want to socialize but I don’t think we should

[isalabells]

can u pls give me all ur thoughts on clarissa franklin? im legit so curious!!

Let me preface this, anon, by saying that this might be the most challenging ask I’ve received to date. That’s why I let it sit there for more than 1.5 weeks while agonizing over it on every run I’ve been on in between. So hats off to you because dang!

Thoughts on characters in the DDF universe are generally a tricky thing because none of them – not even (or: especially not) our three mains – are designed to be anything but two-dimensional. This of course shouldn’t stop anyone from diving deeper into some kind of character analysis, but personally, I’ve always found it a bit off-putting alas I probably have fewer thoughts and headcanons on the folks inhabitating the Rocky Beach universe than one might think. I don’t even find it that compelling to look at from a meta perspective (where, in contrast, I could spend hours talking and writing about TKKG’s narratives. And in fact I have.) So what’s mainly of interest to me here is looking at Minninger aka the one who invented dear Clarissa, and to speculate about his motives for telling the Franklin stories the way he did.

In an attempt to look at it from an in-universe POV first: Amazing character, most likely the best female villain this series will ever see (food for thought: there haven’t been that many to begin with, and most of the ones we got were either written by BJHW or Minninger. MUCH to ponder on), personally, I find her way more fun than Hugenay, giving her two (or three, if the rumors are true) follow-up stories is more than deserved. Furthermore, her legacy is that she appeared in two absolute killer episodes, which many (rightfully) consider to be some of the best the series has to offer (so do I, but plot twist, the best for me is not Stimmen aus dem Nichts but Rufmord). 100/10, can relate to Bob Andrews bc I already grew infatuated with her and she didn’t even need to hypnotize me for that. A great cunning, devious, manipulative, stone-cold bitch ready to kill a man or two at any given point, it’s what we all need and deserve. Shouldn’t even be that big of a surprise that this role slaps so hard bc the majority of things Judy Winter does gain IconicTM status, it is the law. Ever since @charlyritter brought up the idea that Sabine Vitua would be the perfect choice to play her in a live action movie, I cannot stop thinking about this. (And ever since I mistook a picture of young Sabine Vitua with short hair for Bibiana Beglau I am slightly fixated on the idea that she’d be a great fit as well.)

  From a more sober POV: I’ve talked about this before but SadN is actually a very sloppily edited adaptation (e.g. Katharina Brauren most def was recorded separately, there are a lot of inaccuracies-that-easily-could-have-been-avoided-with-some-proper-research-and-a-capable-editor in the script etc.) AND most of it is just Minninger ripping off other stories published via EUROPA (I know none of you are aware of this bc y’all lack the refined taste to engage with TKKG, but the entirety of getting phone calls from the dead? Please listen to #82 Spuk aus dem Jenseits which got published in 1991 aka six years prior to SadN, which Minninger himself edited, and which imo is actually WAY more creepy, esp bc Wolf played a lot with elements from Hofmann’s Sandmann. While we’re at it, I might also drop that Franklin’s iconic line “Reiß Dein Maul nicht so weit auf, sonst schieb ich Dir eine Faust rein, an der Du erstickst“ also first appears, word for word, in TKKG #8 Auf der Spur der Vogeljäger. Well oops.) NEVERTHELESS I argue none of it matters in the long run bc the adaption makes it worth the while. Minninger himself is a trickster in that regard bc what he lacks in writing skills (lbr he doesn’t have any, his stories are mediocre at best) he makes up for in hedonism. As in: he mainly writes about what interests him most in a DDF setting (queer characters, middle-aged and/or old yet powerful ladies, horror vibes, scary, disturbing stuff bordering on the macabre and ludicrous) and designs his characters specifically so that he can cast all the actresses and actors he admires. (Honestly, that was actually a question I sent to him back in 2004 when his Fragebox at the rbc was still running; I wanted to know if he already knew he wanted JW to play CF, and he wholeheartedly confirmed.)

In this case, he got especially lucky bc I am firmly convinced he had no clue at all that Andreas Fröhlich and Judy Winter would play off each other so mesmerizingly. I mean, how could he have known? JW being great and killing it was not a surprise, sure, but Andreas was a far stretch away from being the hot shit he evolved into ever since. And if they hadn’t sold their two extremely unusual scenes so well… both episode and the character would have flopped, I think.

But it didn’t, and then Rufmord came along and the rest is history.

I have severe problems with Signale aus dem Jenseits ESPECIALLY bc of the way the narrative treats good ol’ Clarissa here, and I rather wish this ep had never gotten published in the first place. I don’t want to blow up this reply even further, but allow me to quote a snippet from the episode commentary I left on the rbc a while ago, as it sums up some of my troubles quite nicely:

“[Die] Wortwahl einer „Demontage“ Clarissa Franklins hat mich ins Grübeln gebracht. Vielleicht soll genau DAS die Krux der Sache sein – den Abstieg und Ruin einer Figur nachzuzeichnen, die einst bereit war, eiskalt über Leichen zu gehen und die selbst in Situationen, in denen sie auf den ersten Blick die Machtlose zu sein scheint, doch alle Fäden in der Hand hält und Menschen spielt wie Marionetten. In dem Fall wären die abgeschwächten Anleihen/Rezitationen/Referenzen an die Vorgängerfolgen natürlich geschickt (und bewusst?) gewählt und verstärken den Eindruck, dass Clarissa Franklin tief gefallen ist und mittlerweile nach jedem ihr sich bietenden Strohhalm greift (= Schmierenkomödie als Rache an drei Teenagern). Soll dies eine legitime Lesart des Textes sein, dann ist das Narrativ für mich allerdings falsch aufgebaut, weil es sich in zu vielen Nebenschauplätzen verliert.”

From the pov of my fangirl heart and all critical thinking put aside: Clarissa Franklin probably was the first character I was truly obsessed with!? In a way that I spent my entire Easter holiday break reading and listening to Rufmord 24/7. Thinking about her and her encounter with Just, Peter and Bob for hours each day. Desperately longing for more content with her. While my teenage self as evolved a bit, I’m still fond of her. So as much as I want Minninger to just let her rest, I am also hoping that his forth story featuring her only got postponed and not scratched entirely. The heart wants what the heart wants.

[dandyvespa]

Calling All K-Pop Survival Show Trash (I-Land Edition)

What’s good everyone

In the past I have talked about my interest in  kpop survival shows and my preferred lineups for shows like Produce 101 X and Youth with You.  These such posts got some attention and made me befriend some cool mutuals so I thought why not do more for any other shows I come across so I can also discuss with people and fangirl with them? Though I myself continue to like these shows despite evil editing and clear favoritism from producers/global fans, I still wish to share with you some hardworking trainees that I think you guys would be interested in, especially if ya’ll kpop survival show tl’s are dry and looking to fill the void with something different.  Well, I-Land happens to be that different show.  Now I know not everyone is a big fan of BigHit or even Mnet for that matter, I do encourage this show because it is a lot different from the format of the Produce series, or any past kpop survival show for that matter.  The standard for ranking trainees is not entirely up to global votes and the producers in the show give their valuable take.  Not only that but their living conditions, music choices, and selected trainees are very distinct and refreshing in my opinion.   Not only that but you have big names like Rain, Zico, Bang PD, IU, and much more contributing to the show to create the best global kpop group.

Now when posting this I realized I should have done this earlier because the show is already on its second part hehe.  I-Land is split up into two parts so I’m just gonna give a brief rundown.  The first part of I-Land involves these 23 trainees that all arrive individually or within groups to do this isolated and intricate building in the woods.  These trainees then go through a series of performances to see who is the most competent member in entering I-Land, this really swanky and high-tech living space fit with training areas, a kitchen filled with a bunch of food, very pristine and spacious dorm rooms, etc.  The catch is that only 12 members are only able to be apart of that paradise and will be determined by voting amongst themselves (already pretty political off the bat lol).  Those who are unable to attend the I-Land are sent to The Ground, basically a way more downgraded version of I-Land with much fewer resources.  This first part basically has these two groups pitted against each other and shifted between the I-Land and The Ground based on this trainee voting system and the producer voting system after completing various tests/competitions.  The only time where the global voting system mattered was towards the end of Part 1 in which the global votes determined the 6 trainees eligible from The Ground to be with the other 6 I-Landers (which have been selected to stay by the Producers).  These 12 trainees then dive into Part 2 of I-Land which is really the start of the actual competition to make it to the official 7-member debut line.  The 12 to 7 members are shaved down again based on a series of tests that will showcase their individual and teamwork skills.  This time the voting is completely based on an alternating system of producers and global fans deciding the ranking, the lowest such member being eliminated every other week.

So like I said I should have started this sooner since this show premiered back in June, but because a lot of people are just starting to know about the show because BTS and now Seventeen (Performance Unit) guested or are about to guest on the show (this includes possibly TXT and Gfriend given they are also tied to BigHit), might as well update ya’ll now on why you shouldn’t just be watching just because your ults are there for barely an entire episode.  Though I admit that there are shady moments and complaints I have with the show, there is no denying that these trainees that are picked are all really good in their respective areas and are incredibly dead set on becoming idols.  Now you may have heard people saying that this show is a “flop” based on Korean ratings.  Given I don’t know how tv ratings work in South Korea and know that this show is steered more towards global fans, a number of people I have talked to already about this show just watch on different video sharing websites or apps the next day so subtitles appear or they watch during the scheduled time of the live broadcasting on YouTube which I have to say is SOOOO pleasing for us international folks.  Ratings and famous artists contributing to the show aside, I once again stress that you guys should give the show a try just for the sake of getting to know these kids because I feel like with time and practice, even if they don’t make the final lineup, they will achieve their dreams eventually.

Now as much as I want to talk about the entirety of the show, I will once again post my top 7 members down below in the (Keep Reading) section.  If ya’ll don’t want spoilers and wish to look up the show first then by all means go ahead!  If you guys are curious about the show or even want to scream and talk about the show if you are caught up, please message me ya cuties!

NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO THESE ARE MY TOP 7 I-LAND TRAINEES (SPOILERS POTENTIALLY INCLUDED):

1) Lee Heeseung

No question about it Heeseung is one of my biases on this show and for a good reason.  This boy, a former BigHit trainee, is considered the ace of the show, an all-rounder who so far has shown stability in both dance and vocals (have yet to see rap being portrayed a lot in this show, but the producers, specifically Bang and Pdogg have said he really excels in rap and it was strange to them because he entered the show to focus more on vocals lol).  Not only that but he is selfless, a trainee that has been putting a lot of his fellow members first and sacrificing his own time to help them or steer them in the right direction.  Bro is also dorky and a total crackhead behind the scenes of I-Land lol.  As of part 2 I believe he is the trainee with the most seniority, as in years of training.  Despite showing his playful side here and there, he seems to be the most well-spoken and mature of the trainees, putting him as a major candidate to become a leader.  It is just a bonus that he looks this good too!  At this point in the show, it would be insane for anybody to not include Heeseung in their final debut lineup predictions.  Plus this is legit Bang PD’s favorite son ya’ll already know.

2) Park Sunghoon

Ah the little ice prince! Another former BigHit trainee (and my second bias lol),  Sunghoon is incredibly charismatic and knows how to show the right facial expressions on stage.  I honestly kind of see him as a dark horse in the show.  His vocals are pretty decent and he can really keep up in dancing.  Overall just so hardworking, and it definitely shows because he really has been consistent through the show! It’s pretty known he is a major visual in the show but a lot of people also like him for his clean-cut and simple personality. He is also very observant of the other members and can be just as doting and selfless as Heeseung.  What irks me is that the producers and even some viewers complain that his personality “overlaps” with other members, which is honestly an odd reason to have when considering the debut lineup.  He seems quiet at first but the kid can be so hyperactive, funny, and radiates crackhead energy as time goes by in the show, giving us more of his personality to work with.  What is more fascinating is that he used to figure-skate for 10+ years and decided to choose this path as an idol after seeing BTS.  He is also determined to show his parents that they shouldn’t have doubted him and that he took the right path and I just love that.  Please look out for him because with his popularity and competence, I am sure he will make it to the lineup!

3) Yang Jungwon 

Pack it up ya’ll we found our little maknae of the group who is a cutie and an all-rounder!  He is also a dark horse to me, but then again a lot of people consider him to be a “hidden ace” in the show.  Jungwon may be one of the youngest members in I-Land but amongst the other younger trainees, but he stands out as the most skilled by a landslide.  He excels at singing and is very stable.  In fact I think he is one of the few trainees that has a really good singing voice next to Heeseung.  He is also really good at dancing as well as free-styling.  I think he is also a former BigHit trainee (I... yes I know a lot of my picks just happen to be BigHit trainees but trust me I’m not just being biased lol).  I think Jungwon is someone who, though he excels himself, really appreciates his hyungs who he respects and wishes to learn from.  Coincidentally, his role model is Jungkook haha.  His ability to adjust to concepts, even the most mature ones, is also very astonishing.  Hoping that global fans not only see him as a cute kid but as a talented, caring, and hardworking soul.  Baby did not quit taekwondo to follow his dreams as an idol too!

4) Jay Park

Ya’ll you see this kid?  He is a fighter.  A competitor who brings the heat.  And behold he is also formerly from BigHit lol, but also SM entertainment! Jay is incredibly skilled at dancing and is very charismatic on stage. I think he is one of the few people who showcased rap pretty decently, but again this show barely showed the rap skills of any of these trainees to really conclude that.  The kid has been through a lot of humiliating moments in the show, even coming up with the iconic and meme-worthy line to accept such moments: resentment, anger, humiliation.  He has been placed in compromising situations, but he owns up the the situation and accepts responsibilities that no one would.  He is not as intimidating as he may want to look as he also very caring and helpful (plus his fear of ghosts is adorable). Even other trainees approach him to teach them choreography or get advice.  Also the way he was able to lead the Grounders in the Fire performance made me appreciate him even more since then.  I feel like he has the potential to be a great leader for the group as well.  He is also honest in what he feels and has no problem stating that to the viewers, but is never someone who whines about not getting his way.  His stubbornness will take him all the way to the debut line in my opinion haha.  Go hard my sweet potato boy!

5) Jake Shim

Our Aussie boy and the icon of improvement in the show! He happens to be one of the trainees with the shortest training time.  Despite this, he has had potential since his entrance test with Crown.  Jake has had some rough criticism that lead him to work very hard.  In fact he always feared that he may get behind others or not keep up.  I think out of all the members--and that is saying a lot because they all really do try their best--he is the one who is the most hard-working and constantly practicing the choreography, even when others are asleep.  I also think he has a pretty good vocal range, and it definitely improved since Flicker recently.  The fact that he came all the way here to South Korea by himself to achieve his dream of being an idol after witnessing BTS is so brave. I really respect him and his friendship with a lot of the members in I-Land, especially with Sunghoon! I think he will only continue to rise up and gain more traction from the global audience.

6) Kim Sunoo

Sunshine boy coming through! Sunoo came along with Jake and performed Crown together and since then I always thought he had some real talent.  This thought was only proven later on, but really set it for me his Save Me performance.  Listen his vocals are so promising despite also having a short training period.  I honestly think it would rival Heeseung’s vocals.  I do think he has room to improve in dance, but he really works for it.  He is always so positive and nice to others.  He is very modest and eager to learn and I love how he is basically this aegyo king who never cringes at the slightest when he acts like himself.  As someone who wishes to be on tv, I hope he gets there.  I feel like a lot of people have slept on him because he was mostly known as that one cute kid with adequate skills, but they are far more better than a lot of the trainees since the beginning of the show.  His popularity already puts him really up there so I can only hope he just continues to prove himself to the producers because they have already complimented him on his more masculine and skilled side in Fake Love.  Fighting my son!

7) K

Our last member is K! Now I have had my eye on K because his visuals really stand out for me, like something out of a comic or drama.  Handsomeness aside, K hails from Japan and is the oldest member on the entire show.  He is very experienced in choreographing and is undoubtedly one of the best dancers on the show, which was definitely established in the dance unit competition.  His vocals are also pretty underrated.  I think he that knows how to grab attention and make us wanting more.  Now as much as I adore his skills and ability to lead other members in the choreo, I have noticed that he is the type to be very straightforward, and it may come off as intimidating to other members.  I am not sure if this is just South Korean etiquette of respecting elders and just trying really hard not to upset them, but the way that members have had their fair share of discussing issues with how K just turns icy whenever he doesn’t see things his way or makes a mistake leading them to be frightened to the point of not being able to chime in with their thoughts is very alarming.  I get that no one wants to step on his toes further, but I hope this attitude and relationship doesn’t persist.  I like K and I can see that he dotes on other members and helps them out as much as he can, but sometimes his hypocritical and isolated attitude gets the better of him.  Now granted this may be a result of MNET’s evil editing, but seeing all these trainees share their uneasy thoughts regarding him makes me feel another way.  Even when these issues happen, it ends up with him having to talk it out with his members and reflect, which is highly appreciated.  Even the producers feel like K is important and is promising in his ad-libs and skill set.  May he recover from all these issues and keep himself together!

HONORABLE MENTION:

★ Hanbin

I thought I would add an additional member that I have been on the fence about if one of these other potential trainees do not make it, especially considering I am a bit scared of K’s placement due to global fans being easily persuaded by how MNET edits their shit.  I actually have never laid eyes on Hanbin since the entire first half of the show because he was always in The Ground.  After seeing him lose confidence their I was scared if he would ever recover.  Luckily, he opened up this time around! Not only do I see him acting more like this sweet older brother towards the other trainees, especially in times of conflict like with K and Niki, but he has really been standing out with his dance and vocal skills.  I already know he used to be part of a Vietnamese cover dance group, but I never knew how stable and clear his vocals were.  Though I don’t think he is as stand out as other members in these skills, he definitely showed more of his confidence and improvement since Part 1.  I was honestly wondering why so many people have been hyping him and I guess I was the one wrongfully sleeping on him and his hidden talents heh.  I also hope he is getting more recognition now and it would be nice to see another member who is outside of South Korea appear in the group, especially since Bang PD is going for a global group. Call me a Hannie now lol.

ALRIGHT end of this thread.  Again feel free to talk to me about the show or finally start watching the show.  Even though I did not list your favorite, understand this is my personal debut lineup.  This in no way means I am hating on any of the other members.  I think they all have what it takes if they were all able to get casted onto this show, and I hope they eventually will.   Given that I was looking for much more trainees that caught my eye, have had experience, a good personality, a natural and improved skill set, and just an overall good connection with them, these were the trainees I was most enticed by.  It is pretty set like this and I doubt it will change, but who knows.  Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope check out the show or continue to stream it! <3

[lihikainanea]

Yes, let’s talk about Bill not being able to get it up

Oh man, my poor Good Dude Bill. Because like look, it’s one thing if tiger can’t come, right? Because she can still get the closeness she craves with him, she can still get the comfort, she can still feel good and just not have it culminate in anything.

But when Bill is feeling vulnerable, when he needs to feel her, when he needs some comfort and good feelings...if he can’t get it up, homeboy is basically miserable.

And y’know, maybe it’s because he’s super stressed out, overworked, exhausted. And he’s a smoker so like it or not statistics are not on his side just from the get-go, let alone with all these other factors. And in true dude fashion, on top of all his stress, when he’s looking for some good lovin’ and his biology is failing him then he’s also wigging out about that. It’s like, you know when you have to be up in like 3 hours and your irresponsible ass is just crawling to bed? And your mind is like GOTOSLEEPGOTOSLEEPGOTOSLEEPGOTOSLEEPGOTOSLEEP. How well does that work?

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work.

SO Bill is probably jonesing for it, coming in after a shit day of meetings or press or photoshoots or whatever, he’s horny as hell, and all he wants is to be spoiled a little. Tiger knows--he had given her the head’s up before hand that she better be on her knees for him when he got home--but even if he hadn’t, she’d be able to tell the minute he walked in the door. And like the good girl she is for him, when he gets home she’s kneeling beside the bed for him in just her cute panties. And he probably just grabs her, kisses her, throws her onto the bed and climbs on top of her. And he’s rutting into her with his clothes still on right, and she’s whimpering into his mouth, and doing everything that usually gets him rock hard. And he’s so focused on how good her lips feel, how good she smells, all the incredible sounds coming from her mouth, the way she’s clutching at him and her soft breath on his cheek. And all of it feels so good, it’s making his stomach flip flop in a way that he only feels with her these days, and he’s already so drunk off of it that he doesn’t realize that all of these good feelings are not transmitting to anything south of the border. Until she reaches down and palms him, and he stops. Pulls back a little, and looks down. His brows furrow.

“Uh--” he stutters, but she cuts him off so he doesn’t get embarrassed. 

“Don’t worry bud,” she says and pushes her hips up into his as he groans, “You’ll catch up.”

And she doubles down on her efforts. She’ll run her fingers through his hair and give it a little tug, rake her nails down his back while she rolls her hips up into his. She tries not to focus on it too much because it’ll only succeed in making him freak out even more--so instead she focuses on all the things he likes. Those sweet spots on his neck, his collarbones, his earlobes. And she flips him over onto his back and climbs on top, rolling her hips down hard against his as she licks down his chest, scratches her nails softly over his lower stomach. as she brings his hands to her front, cups them over her breasts. And as she’s moving down his body she’ll pop open the button on his jeans, lick up that sensitive spot on his stomach to his belly button, then shimmies his pants off of him but still....nothing. She grabs hold of him lightly just to make sure, runs her hands over the front of his boxers, but....nothing. Bill whines in distress.

“I don’t understand what’s happening,” and he throws his head back on the pillow in despair, covering his face with his hands, “I’m broken.”

“You’re not broken,” she smiles and moves back up, straddling his waist and pulling at his hands. She finally gets them free and he’s staring at the ceiling, his eyes wide and panicked, his brow creased with worry.

“You’ve just been really stressed lately, and it’s probably affecting you. It’s normal. So try to stop freaking out, and tell me what you want, big guy,” she purrs at him, puts his hands back on her, “Do you want my mouth?”

He looks at her and she can see the worry still etched on his features as he bites his lip. She reaches forward and tugs it free with her thumb, leaning down to nip gently at it.

“Yeah, yeah okay,” he says, “Your mouth always works.”

So she smiles and takes it real slow, moving her mouth down his body an inch at a time until she’s resting between his legs. And she’ll be real wet and sloppy about it, laying suckling kisses from his base all the way to his tip before wrapping her lips around it. She goes slow, giving him a chance to warm up for it, let his mind go blank a little. Except a minute goes by and...nothing. So she doubles down on her efforts, pushes him to the back of her throat and swallows around him. Two minutes go by and just....not even a twitch. In fact, nothing at all except for a few frustrated sighs from him. Three minutes, and an exasperated groan leaves his throat and she feels him slam his fists on the bed.

“Why,” he whines, “I don’t get it.”

She sighs, crawling back up his body and settling on his waist. He runs his hands through his hair in annoyance.

“I’m sorry kid, it’s not you,” he says, “You feel fantastic. It’s just...not...connecting to where it needs to.”

“It happens, bud,” she says, “It’s no big deal.”

“It is a big deal,” he looks at her angrily, “I need to just...I need...”

His sentence ends in favour of another exasperated groan that sounds a lot like a growl.

“I mean, I have some pills leftover from--” she stops when his glare nearly pierces through her. Shifting quickly, he grabs her hips and throws her under him, pinning her to the mattress with her hands in one of his, held over her head.

“I don’t need a little blue pill,” he snarls, “Everything works just fine.”

She resists the urge to roll her eyes, instead taking a more compassionate approach. This really is mildly traumatic for him, but she knows that a good way to get him to stop being so antsy over it is to maybe turn his focus on her. Because his man-bits might be misfiring, but he can still make her feel good--and that might boost his confidence a little.

“Well, let’s hope that includes your tongue,” she purrs and cranes her neck up to kiss him, “You got a girl all worked up, now. Would you be a gentleman about it?”

And Bill can do that. Bill can definitely do that. And the poor dude is compensating, so he’s being extra enthusiastic about it--and tiger just wants him to realize that this happens to a lot of guys and it’s fine, so she’s being extra vocal about how good he makes her feel. It’s a loud finish, and as he crawls back up her and swipes at his mouth she takes a peek down the blankets. And when she sees that still nothing is happening for him, then she takes the initiative to call it a night.

“Goddamn, you’re good at that,” she moans, and he kisses her cheek and smiles.

“I’m exhausted though, bud,” she says, “Can I take a rain check on you? I’ll pay it back with interest.”

Bill nods, and she pulls him in for a kiss. He loves it when she does that, when he knows she can taste herself on his lips and he moans into it. She pulls him into her chest, rests his cheek over her heart, and pulls the blankets up over them.

Except like...this really is mildly traumatic for a dude. So the next day at some point, Bill probably pounces her again. Sneaks up behind her in the kitchen and cops a feel, sticks his hands up her shirt, gets her all worked up before bending her over the counter. But then he shoves his pants down and grabs hold of himself for a few pumps and...nothing. He huffs, running a hand up her back and down again, between her legs and he feels how wet she is for him. He grips his length and tries again and just....nothing. Tiger cranes her neck back to see what the hold up is.

“I just need a second,” he grits out through clenched teeth.

“Bill--” she sighs.

“Just one second tiger,” he snaps. She sighs, presses her cheek onto the counter and waits. And inevitably, a few seconds later, his fist slams down onto it.

“What the fuck,” he growls, “What the fuck is fucking wrong with me?”

She sighs, pushing back upright and pulling her panties back up her legs.

“Nothing is wrong with you, Billy Goat,” she says, and she reaches to put her arms around him but he moves away.

“Then why won’t it fucking work?” he yells.

“Bill, bud, this is more common than you think, alright? It’s okay,” she tries to reach for him again and he doesn’t move away this time, so she wraps her arms around his waist.

“Has it ever happened to any guy you’ve been with?” he grumbles.

“Bill--”

“Answer me.”

“Yes,” she says, “In fact, one of them legit had a...problem.”

Bill is still just glaring.

“Bud, look. If you’re worried, go see a doctor. But you’re exhausted, you’re stressed, you’re worried--this could be a symptom of all of that.”

“Fucking helps me get rid of all that,” he pouts, “This is just cruel.”

And the poor dude, man. He needs a release so bad. Tiger tries to ease his mind, tries to still make him feel good in other ways. Bill gets a big boost of confidence when he makes her feel good, so she lets him have at her whenever he wants. He spends basically a week with his face between her legs and hey listen, tiger won’t ever complain about that. She eases his stress in other ways--with lots of tummy rubs, bubble baths, head scritchies, just tons of skin on skin contact for her Big Dude.

Does the Big Dude--OH MY GOD YOU GUYS--maybe after a legit few days, poor Bill just feels awful about everything. And maybe he tells her that if she wants to go ahead and sleep with someone else for awhile, just to get her fix, that he wouldn’t blame her. That she could, if she wants to. He’d understand.

Tiger probably very calmly just goes to get a chair, holds onto his arm as she climbs onto it--then wollops him upside the head.

I’m not sure how it eventually gets resolved. Maybe if it doesn’t fix itself after a few days, he so badly needs a release that he agrees to take a little blue pill. And it’s a double whammy, because the pill lets him get hard and lets him bang her brains out (poor tiger has a rough few hours, man), and in doing so he probably gets a lot of his mojo back and maybe doesn’t need another one. Or maybe it just takes time, he tries to relax as much as he can, meditate, just get out of his own head, and one day this random dirty thought pops into his head when he’s out and boom--boner city. He calls tiger in a panic, telling her to get her ass home if she’s not already there, and then he rushes home before it disappears.

[okaybutlikeimagine]

What if Billy got sick but cause he’s so used to pushing through it he didn’t think it was a big deal

(as of writing this, I, too, am sick!! >w

Ohmydear the poor poor hun!!! Okay you SO know that this child wouldn’t do anything about being sick. Like this kid is gonna be sick as a dog and still get totally set to go to school that day. Just bc he thinks he needs to!!!

Like…. He can’t remember the last time someone helped him through being sick. Sometimes when he was sick back in Cali, Max would bring him the bag of cough drops they kept in the bathroom or pour out the cold medicine when Billy was too dizzy to do it himself. He did the same for her when Neil and Susan were too busy to notice she needed it. When Susan was too busy attending to Neil to coddle Max like a baby.

But Billy never got that. Never really accepted it from the handful of times that Susan timidly offered bc accepting help from her felt poisonous. It always felt poisonous. There was never really a maternal care to be found in her eyes. Any that lingered there was always covered by a very genuine fear that pissed Billy off more than anything. Neil only did enough to make sure Billy didn’t actually die from his cold bc nothing pissed Neil off more than having to lug Billy to the hospital and pay for it.

So when he wakes up congested, he doesn’t do anything about it. He doesn’t tell anyone, he doesn’t say anything, he legit just goes about his day like normal. If he coughs a little roughly every now and then, no one notices (or Billy’s too out of it to see Hop giving him a concerned look).

So Billy keeps going to school, keeps going to work, keeps going to basketball practice, and obviously??? Keeps getting worse.

His voice is getting nasally and he glares at Hop when he mentions it.

He sneezes about 5 times in a row and flicks El in the shoulder when she whimpers and says “gross”.

He starts wearing so many layers to school that Tommy is actually concerned but shuts up as soon as Billy gives him a glare that promises death.

He pukes up his dinner one night and blames it on drinking. He relies on the hope that Hop will be too busy giving him a lecture on not drinking on a school night that he won’t question his sickness.

It’s not until he wakes up and he can’t breathe and his head is throbbing like someone’s put it in a vice and his throat is on fire that he decides now might be a good time to scavenge for something to help him.

So he gets up and wobbles himself over to the bathroom, digging through the medicine cabinet for anything he can possibly take to help himself. He finds some painkillers and children’s cough medicine. He briefly considers downing the bottle of syrup but, even in his sick haze, convinces himself it’s a stupid idea and instead wanders out into the rest of the cabin to grab his keys.

He runs into Hop first.

Like, legitimately walks right into Hop bc he’s walking with his eyes nearly closed bc he can’t keep them open.

“Woah- uh?”

“Hey.” Billy mumbles, but it comes out as more of a grunt. He goes to move around Hop but he just kinda rocks over bc his feet decide they don’t wanna move anymore.

Hop grabs onto Billy’s shoulders to stabilize him.

“Woah there, kid. You look like shit.”

Billy grumbles.

“And you’re Miss America?” Billy slurs, finally taking a step around Hop and making his way towards the door.

Hop turns enough to get a hold of the boy again, who’s now growling or… moaning? It sounds more like a ghost moaning in agony.

Hop’s not okay with this.

“Seriously, are you alright?”

“M’fine….” Billy groans out, weakly shaking his wrist to get Hop off of him.

Hop briefly considers letting go bc he feels bad, but he gets his other hand on Billy’s forehead and flips out.

“Holy shi- you’re burning.” He says, grabbing a harder hold of Billy’s wrist and pulling him gently towards his bed.

“Stooop…” Billy groans again, tripping over his feet as he’s pulled.

Hop flops him down onto the bed, Billy’s body hitting it hard bc he can’t hold himself up right anymore. He immediately curls up, head throbbing harshly from the pain of standing for so long.

“How long have you been feeling like this?” Hop asks, walking over to the kitchen.

Billy groans in response.

“You sounded a little nasally the other day.” Hop adds.

Billy growls as menacingly as he can when there’s so much phlegm in his throat. It doesn’t really work.

“And you couldn’t keep your food down the other night. Wow, am i an idiot?” Hop says that last part under his breath to himself, amazed that he let this boy just walk around sick as a dog bc he kept pushing Hop away.

He walks back over with a wet towel and a glass of water.

“What’re you playing at, kid? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Billy swats at the wet towel being lowered towards his face. It’s incredibly weak and misses in the air.

“What’s there t’tell?” Billy asks, rocking his head back and forth to avoid the towel. His stomach starts to contract, Hop notices. He worries for a second it’s bc the boy is gonna throw up again, but in a few seconds Billy’s attempting to push himself up and out of bed.

Hop puts a hand on Billy’s chest and gently pushes him back down.

“You’re sick as a damn dog.”

“Mahhh… and? I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” Billy says, nose clearly stuffed up. He sounds like his lung is attempting to climb up his throat as he coughs.

Hop takes a deep breath of exasperation.

“Son, please. Lay down. I’m calling in to school.”

“But I have to… I have to… Max.”

Billy still drives Max to school everyday. Hop nods and waves his hand in the air in an act of dismissal.

“Right. Yeah, I’ll drive Max to school, you stay here and rest. I’ll be back”

“Mmm… work…?” Billy asks.

“I’ll let them know I can’t come in.”

“I’m fine.”

“Look, I’d leave you here but I’m worried you’re gonna try to go to school or work or something so for now I’m staying. Now shut up, I’m gonna make El make sure you don’t get up and I’m getting soup and medicine and… yeah. Maybe a thermometer.”

So Hop goes to Melvald’s, obviously. Bc he needs to buy medicine and stuff but he also needs to ask Joyce about what the fuck to do with a sick 17 yr old.

“Oh no, Billy’s sick?”

“Yup.” Hop says as he eyes up all of the different types of medicine. “What do you do when Jonathan gets sick?”

“Well I usually have to force him to stay home. My boys hate being home sick.”

Hop sighs bc he understands now. He picks up two different types of cough syrup and straightens out so he can analyze both.

Joyce walks up to him then, grabbing hold of both medicines gently and putting them down before picking up a completely different one and placing it in Hop’s hand.

“Jonathan and Will said this one isn’t as gross as the rest.” Joyce says, giving Hop a soft smile before walking through the store and picking out the best and most affordable brands of different things: tissues, a thermometer, cough drops. She also writes down a list of some good foods to feed him along with apple juice and some ginger ale. (“It’ll settle his stomach.”)

Hop follows behind her quietly, observing her choices and paying at the end. She sends him off with a pat on the back and the most motherly smile, telling him to “let me know if he needs anything else! And tell him I hope he gets well!”

So Hop walks back into the house, bags of medicines and such in his hands, where he sees El sitting on the couch tipping her head to the side every couple of seconds.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Making Billy stay still.” El says with another tilt of her head. Billy, who’s currently trying to get up, falls back down again (seemingly not of his own volition)

El looks at Hop with a lopsided smile. “A little bit. Trying to.”

Hop ruffles her hair and puts the bags on the counter.

“I’m fine.” Billy says like hes still trying to convince Hop. Like Hop didn’t just leave and come back with bags full of stuff just to help him get better.

Hop just rolls his eyes and takes out the medicine, making a little more than a half hearted attempt to read the label because honestly, he hasn’t bought cold medicine in ages. He used to abuse pills, but that’s very different.

He pours the right amount of syrup according to the chair and hands it over to Billy, who sits up and scrunches his nose at the liquid.

“I don’t need it.”

“God, you’re stubborn as a bull. Just drink the damn medicine.”

El looks curiously, eyeing the colorful liquid as Billy downs it like a shot. Billy makes a face afterwards, sticking his tongue out in a disgusted gesture that looks involuntary.

“Joyce said her boys think it’s less gross than the rest.” Hop says by way of apology, giving a pitying look to Billy as he takes the tiny cup back.

“Haven’t had that stuff in years.” Billy says, giving his head a little shake and curling back down into the bed.

El asks if she can have some and Hop just shakes his head no as he takes the thermometer out and asks El to put it under Billy’s tongue and read the number out loud as he goes to put some soup on the stove.

“One zero five.” El calls out, looking to Hop to figure out how to react to that.

“Holy shit, kid!”

El turns to Billy with a gasp.

“Holy shit, kid!” She mimics, which makes Billy chuckle (and then groan again with the pain of the movement) and makes Hop sputter before saying “Don’t say that again, sorry, shouldn’t have said that.”

So Hop, who was planning on going to work that night, stays and watches Billy. Like he’s a fucking baby who caught the flu. Billy’s understandably livid about his lack of freedom and the intense level of coddling.

“I don’t have like… fucking scarlet fever. I’m fine.” Billy says over a cough while Hop wraps him up in even more blankets. He’s tucking them underneath him like he’s a burrito.

“Shut it, kid. Do you want some more soup?”

“I’ve probably had 5 bowls at this point. No. I don’t want any more soup.”

And Billy groans and growls and whines and complains and Hop and El dote on him like he’s a baby and he wants to hate it, he does. He kind of does hate it, actually, but there’s not a lot of fire in his body over it right now bc 1. He’s weak from being so sick. And 2. It’s sweet. It’s really, really sweet. It’s annoying as all hell, but it’s sweet too so he’s gonna sit here and let it happen.

It’s not until the next day of soup and medicine and tissues and coughing and ginger ale that there’s a knock on the door.

“Hey, is Billy home?” comes the voice that Billy immediately recognizes as Steve.

“Uh-”

“Babe! Help!” Billy croaks from his bed, moving to get up but being pushed down by El’s powers. “They’re holding me hostage!”

It’s then that Steve rounds the corner to find Billy in bed, sweating and covered in blankets.

“Tell them I’m fine-”

“Oh my god, Billy! Are you alright? Why didn’t you tell me you were sick, I could have picked up something for you!”

“Hop bought the whole damn pharmacy yesterday.” Billy says, still congested and indicating the cough drops and medicine next to him on the table. “I-”

“Do you need some soup? How bout some water? Do you have a fever?” Steve places his hand on Billy’s forehead, then his cheek, then his neck, then into the collar of his shirt to his chest. “You’re burning up! What do you need? How are you feeling?”

And Billy, at this point… is blushing up a storm. Like…….. he’s been flushed the last few days from his sickness but suddenly he’s red as a tomato as this beautiful boy leans over him and dotes on him and-

“I’m dying.”

Hop scoffs loudly.

“Poor baby!” Steve gushes, rushing over to the kitchen in a flurry to grab some water and a towel. Billy grunts a little at being called a baby but it’s okay bc he gets to watch his boyfriend flutter around and care for him. “Here, put this on your head. My mom used to do this for me. Have you taken medicine today? Do you need more? How’s your throat doing? Do you want some tea?”

And with that, Billy snuggles into his blankets with a pitiful (and fake) look on his face, Steve coos in concern, and Hop grabs his hat.

“I’m heading down to the station. I think you can be off Billy duty for a while, kiddo.” Hop says to El before motioning to the TV. “Go ahead and watch some TV or something.”

El giggles and nods, sending Hop a wave before flopping down onto the couch to catch some cartoon reruns while Steve kisses Billy’s forehead with another coo.

[nightowlfandom]

Ship Request #1

Hey everyone! So I just want to say that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how long said tunnel is, focus on the end. These dark times won’t last forever, be grateful for every day you have and every day you get to spend with the people you love. 

 CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!

Okay so this is a shipping request for @monstaxdirtywonk who wanted a ship. I’m very new to this, sooo I might go a bit overboard lol. I relogged one of her amazing posts about quarantine that I highly suggest you all read. 

READ IT HERE!

So here’s what she said-

I'm short and curvy with brown hair and big eyes. My hobbies are mostly reading, watching documentaries and learning serious nerd xD. I'm a ravenclaw btw. Other than that. I enjoy making diys to make my room prettier. It feels nice when you have something you created in your room. Very romantic and cuddly, intimacy is a big thing to me. Traveling and meeting other cultures means a lot to me, since our world has so much variety and we've got similarities with many differences. I have many friends, but I tend to get along the best with introverts since they compliment my extrovert self. Chill, not into drama or conflict. Sympathetic and very mom like. But I've got flaws just like everyone else. I tend to get easily offended for some reason xF, tend to be hot tempered (that's why I like introverts) and stubborn. Hope that's enough 😂 Thank you in advance sweetie

...

Alright, so I love the detail and girl I am the exact same way (except I’m an extreme introvert) lol. ANYWAYS! I ship you with...

Kim Namjoon!

You guys would probably first meet though a mutual friend. Him being a shy boy, didn’t say much when you first met despite you being thrilled to make a new friend. You tried so hard to break him out of his shell. You thought all hope was lost until he saw you reading a book which he loved.

 Once he got used to you, you two were joined at the hip and god forbid anyone try to pull you apart! Behind closed doors you two were the craziest of people. 

...

You and him would make blanket forts in the living room and put up fairy lights everywhere with a bunch of snacks. He would have a strict ‘NO DOCUMENTARIES” rule because you’d chose them every time. It wasn’t your fault new conspiracies on outer space were released every week!

-Don’t think he would be strict on this rule

-Eventually you’d wear him down sometimes.

-Then he’d say “But I get to pick the subject!”

...

Sometimes he’ll walk by when you’re on your laptop watching a documentary on some unknown sea creature and ask “Crazy Girl, What are you watching?” while shaking his head at you. Three minutes pass and he’s laying right next to you, engulfed in the documentary himself.

“WHAT? THAT���S REAL?! WE’RE NEVER SCUBA DIVING.”

“But-”

“NOPE!”

-He would be adamant about his opinions on the documentary so be prepared for commentary.

- A LOT OF COMMENTARY!

-So much that you become more interested in his thoughts on the movie than the actual movie.

...

Intimacy is a huge deal for both of you because he doesn’t seem like the type for PDA. So after a long day, he’ll flop on the bed and practically make you drop whatever you were doing just to stroke his hair. 

This destructive teddy bear will flop down whereever he finds you because he’s a giant man child who always needs to cuddle.

-Doesn’t matter where

-Or when

-Sometimes it can lead to something more

-Other times you two just fall asleep in a tangled mess of limbs.

-Of course he loves holding you but can he be the little spoon sometimes?

-But he’s too tall!

-So instead he lays his head on your chest and that seems to be a good substitute.

...

One day, you’re trying to put some fairy lights up in the living room because ‘it really ties the room together. He’d walk into the room, hearing a huge thump.

“What’s going on in here!” he asked, seeing you fall off a step stool.

“Redecorating!”

“And you couldn’t ask for help?!”

“ I wanted to surprise you!”

-Of course this whole DIY thing is your jam, so the place obviously looks great

-You managed to hang polaroids in a garland on the ceiling.

-”Damn babe...do you think you could help me decorate my office?”

- *You frantically holding a hot glue gun* WHEN DO WE START?”

...

You love vacations? Well pack your bags because one second you’re walking out the kitchen with a piece of toast hanging out of your mouth, then the next you’re on a plane to THAILAND?! Seriously, this man will go out of his way to buy all sorts of books for whatever trip he planned for you. You guys would read them all the night before then sleep on the plane.

-Expect to try a lot of different foods

-And expect Seokjin to call you every week for pictures and videos of said food

-ALso be prepared to go on a lot of adventures.

-One time he took you to Japan and you two legit walked EVERYWHERE. 

-Pictures to because you have to capture every moment.

...

Namjoon has only ever seen you lose your temper one time, and it wasn’t pretty. You were going back and forth, yelling at the top of your lungs and lashing out on everything and everybody you saw. When Namjoon would tell you to calm down, it would prompt the most adorable sight. You would cross your arms and turn your head away everything he tried to look at you.

-”No” you’d say grumpily. “I’m still mad at you.”

-“Of course you are.”

- But little did he know, you were so mad that you bought all your pillows and blankets, made a fort and put a “No Mean Boyfriends” allowed sign on it.

-Namjoon would sneak his way it by saying “i come bearing gifts.”

-When you poke your head out, he steals a kiss leaving your face bright red.

(I HOPE I DID THIS RIGHT!)

[planetsam]

Prompt: Alex & Rath AU continuation where they have that talk they were meant to have, please.

Follow up to this: HERE. Because apparently having Astrea going on ao3 isn’t enough to stop me from continuing Alex and Rath in this format if I’m prompted. 

His top three mornings on Antar are the first, the day after they win, and the one where he wakes up with Alex in his arms. 

Alex is cool against him. When he was a kid he always dreamed that one day he’d have a place where he could be with Alex and not have to worry. Now that it’s here he’s almost afraid of it. If he breathes too loudly or moves to quick will it break? His fingers almost tremble as he touches Alex’s skin. The last time he was tan from the sun. Now he’s paler. But Alex is the same, same warm tone but cool skin. Michael traces along the cuts of muscle and the new scars. He’s adapted to the Antar mindset and each of Alex’s scars fill him with pride and awe at his survival. A soft huff of laughter draws his eyes up as he skims his fingers over a line on Alex’s hipbone. Alex is awake, watching him. Michael flattens his hand and puts them level again.

“Morning,” he says. Alex smiles, “how was sleeping for twelve hours?”

“Not as amazing as the wakeup,” Alex say with a smile that Michael swears he feels in his toes. He kisses Alex slow and soft, taking the time to feel every languid slide of their mouths and hands. Alex makes a low sound of encouragement, but there’s none of the tension or desperation that he usually exhibits after, “but I have to file my debrief,” he says. Michael drops his head to his collar bone with a groan that makes Alex laugh, “I’m sorry!”

“Why is it when I get cockblocked it’s by the US military?” He demands, no actual anger in his tone. Alex pushes his curls from his forehead and Michael leans into the touch.

“I guess you’re just that special,” he says.

Michael flops over as Alex gets out of bed. Michael watches as he slides on his leg and then grabs the dark robe. He fastens it easily and gets up, managing to wear it more naturally than Michael is sure he’s pulled off. Ever. Even though he was literally made to be in those robes. There’s also the fact that Alex is wearing it commando and only they know which, again, might be the best use of those robes ever. He watches as Alex gets up and goes over to his bag, pulling out a slim laptop and a pair of spectacles. 

He’s definitely trying to kill him, Michael decides watching him put them on and begin to work. Michael groans loudly until Alex tears his eyes from the computer. Michael props his head up on his hand and looks at him. Alex considers him for a moment and then picks up the laptop, coming back over. Michael tries to look as innocent as he possibly can. Alex looks at him steadily before getting back into bed, on top of the covers.

“Don’t even think about it,” he warns.

Michael holds up his hands, he isn’t denying distracting him crossed his mind but hey if it gets Alex on the bed he’s willing to behave. Or at least try to. At the very least though he’s willing to get up and make them both coffee or the Antar equivalent. It’s when he’s out of bed that there is a knock on the door. Michael’s eyes narrow and he grabs his robe with his powers, flinging it on. Apparently it’s commando day in this part of the palace. When he opens the door though, he’s suprised to see Isobel standing there looking almost nervous. She fidgets slightly with her fingers. Isobel and fidgeting are two things that don’t go together and alarm bells go off in Michael’s head.

“I need to talk to you,” she says.

“Is this about Alex?” He asks.

“Sort of—“ Michael turns as Alex bolts up from the bed. Isobel peers around the corner and her face falls, “damn,” she mutters.

“What’s going on?” Michael questions, stepping aside so she can come into the room.

“It got out Alex came back here,” she says, “people are questioning the peace treaty and if he was a double agent,” she explains, looking at Alex apologetically, “they’ve already locked down the portal.”

“What?!” Michael says.

“They think you seduced him during the talks.”

“That’s insane,” Michael says, “he seduced me way before then—“

He turns to see Alex sitting looking completely horrified. Michael thinks anyone whose accusing Alex of not doing his job is out of their fucking minds. But Alex is in a far more complicated position. Michael goes over to where he’s sitting on the bed, lost in his own thoughts and drops next to him, making sure their legs touch. That at least startles Alex enough for him to look at him and Michael grabs his hands, ignoring the way Alex stiffens in surprise.

“Look at me,” he says, “no-one knows the whole story. We can explain what happened,” he says, “and why the idea of these not being legit is completely insane,” he cups Alex’s cheek, desperate to get him to focus anywhere but his miserable thoughts, “You’re not a traitor. We know that and someone else does too or they would just throw this thing out. We just gotta tell them about high school—“

“You seduced me,” Alex cuts in.

“Huh?” Michael says.

“You seduced me,” Alex repeats, “you played the guitar for me.”

“In the shed you invited me to camp out in,” Michael says.

“I was being nice!”

“So was I,” Michael protests.

“Okay!” Isobel cuts them off, “this is nauseatingly cute but it’s not good,” she says, “I’m sorry, but if you two do this fling it’s not going to help. If you break up—“

“Hey!” Michael cuts in, “we’re not—“ he looks at Alex.

“We haven’t been on an official date,” he explains, “this was a surprise trip on my part, I got swept up in the moment—“ 

“Clearly trying to seduce me again,” Michael cuts in, earning a nudge from Alex, “we’ve been out though, slapping a title on it doesn’t change that right?”

Alex looks at him dryly.

“I can see why you think i seduced you,” He says and continues past Michael’s feigned outrage, “What are you suggesting?”

“Something slightly more serious,” isobel says.

Michael stares at her. She cannot possibly be suggesting what he thinks she might be suggesting.  He looks at Alex. Alex is a solider, a warrior. He thinks that them both being in Antarian robes is the most Alex has been out of the closet in a long, long time. Alex isn’t immediately refuting the ludicrous idea which means its on him.

“No. Absolutely not. We are not getting fake married for the peace of two worlds.”

“Married?!” Alex says.

“I was thinking engaged,” Isobel says, “arranged marriages are common here. Technically Michael and I were in an arranged marriage. We just didn’t get married, but we didn’t date before we were engaged.”

He opens his mouth to deny this is ever going to happen, when he realizes the same denial isn’t coming from the man sitting next to him on the bed. Alex looks stricken but he hasn’t immediately shot the idea down. He looks at Isobel and then at Alex and then gets up. 

“Get out,” he says.

“Excuse me?” Isobel demands. 

“Get out I need to talk to Alex,” he says. 

Isobel rolls her eyes but leaves. Michael smiles just slightly as he turns around. He may have always wanted to kick a sibling out of his room because he had a boy over. This boy, to be precise. Or man. Who is sitting there with his most concentrated face. 

“So, uh, I can call her off,” Michael says, “or, we could do it,” he looks at him, “this kind of feels like an ‘us’ discussion,” he hesitates and then continues shyly, “you didn’t say no.”

Alex hangs his head, rubbing his face. He’s right, he didn’t say no. He wouldn’t say no. Their relationship has been so fraught with miscommunication that he knows him being there in robes on Michael’s bed will be less than him objecting.  He looks at Michael who looks stricken but also hopeful. Alex wonders briefly  if the universe is stacked against them, if there’s any point to fighting it like this. But one look at Michael and he has the answer to that.

“I didn’t come back here for the world,” he says, “I came back here for you.”

“But—“ Michael swallows, “marriage?”

“Engagement,” Alex says, “we would date while we were engaged,” he continues, “I’d have to learn the customs of this place—“ he trails off at Michael’s stunned look, “we could be engaged for a while,” he finishes.

“Yeah,” Michael says.

“That’s what dating is working towards anyways right?” He continues, “seeing if you want to marry someone.”

Ten years ago that wasn’t an option on earth. He looks at Michael.

“Can we get married here?” He asks tentatively, wondering if this is over before it’s begun. 

“Oh, yeah, I wrote that into the constitution for  us,” Michael says.

“Ha ha,” Alex replies sarcastically, “seriously though—“ he trails off as Michael looks at him calmly, “you’re not kidding.” 

Michael shakes his head.

“Did you pick out a ring too?” Alex asks and there’s no sarcasm in his voice.

“I wouldn’t dare,” Michael says, “come on.”

He grabs Alex’s hand and leads him to the wall. He steps through and Alex follows him into a dark and cool passage. Several scanners inspect Michael and then let him continue. This place is cool and it’s made of an odd dark purple stone that flickers with light Alex can’t pinpoint the location of. Mostly because Michael is setting a brisk pace and brings him to the dead end. His hand glows red and he presses it to the wall. It vanishes to reveal a gilded door, the rosy gold bright warm in the passage. Michael opens it and pulls him inside. Alex used to like jewelry but it was costume jewelry.

This is definitely not.

It’s the Antar Crown Jewels and there are a lot of them. The purple stone turns rainbow and reflects everything, making the room seem like it’s a geode. There’s crowns and ornaments and if Liz ever seals the deal with Max she is never going to have to buy jewelry again. He recognizes a few pieces Isobel has worn and a few crowns Max has as well. Michael leads him to a section that has a lot of achingly beautiful weapons and ceremonial armor. Michael stops and turns to him.

“This is my section,” he says, “there’s not a lot of rings but I’m sure Max and Iz don’t mind if you wanna look,” he says and brings him over, “it doesn’t have to be a ring but in context—“

Alex looks at the rings. Michael turns away so Alex can’t read his reactions. Alex feels a rush of annoyance and affection towards him as he turns back to the bands. Two stick out at him though, a narrow band of obsidian and an equally narrow one of coppery gold. He picks them up and stands in front of Michael. Surprise goes to happiness and then to something else. Michael’s eyes go bright. 

“What?” Alex asks.

“Which one?” Michael counters and Alex takes his hand and slides the black one up his finger. Michael looks at it and then takes the coppery one, carefully sliding up his finger. Alex looks at him curiously, “this was my grandfathers,” he says holding up his own hand. His gaze softens, “that was my mom’s.”

Alex opens his mouth to offer to give it back but Michael bends and kisses the back of his hand, like this is where it belongs and Alex closes his mouth.

****

Alex comes out of the bathroom wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

“The last time someone found out about us, they broke your hand with a hammer and started a war,” Alex says.

Michael softens and his lips quirk up.

“So it’s not being engaged to me?”

Alex picks the insecurity in his eyes and crosses the room. He’s sick at the thought of the world knowing but he’s dizzy with the notion he can be in front of Michael and take him in his arms. That they can be together. Still, after everything. He’s desperate to make the insecurity go away and the only way he can think to do that is to cup both of Michael’s cheeks and kiss him. Michael hums into the kiss and then goes silent as it turns hungry and passionate. He whimpers and Alex pulls back, waiting for him to open his eyes.

“Being engaged to you is the only thing that makes this worth it,” he swears. 

 “God, what are we doing?” Michael says helplessly and Alex presses his forehead to his.

“What we have to,” Alex says and Michael tenses, “and what we want to,” Alex tells him.

“Don’t be scared,” Michael says and Alex swallows, “I’m gonna be there with you the whole time,” Alex takes a deep breath, “also your dad only got to me because I was pretending to be human,” he points out. 

“Also he’s dead,” Alex adds.

Michael shakes his head. Alex goes to pull back and Michael holds him. Alex can hear the unspoken plea for one more stolen moment and surrenders without a second thought. He kisses Michael on the mouth and pulls back just enough to whisper in the space between them.

“I love you,” He says. Michael inhales sharply and Alex continues, “I can’t say it to the world first. You don’t have to say—“

“I love you too,” Michael cuts in, Alex feels words rushing through him, “Alex,” he says his name and feels Alex tense, “I’ve loved you this whole time.”

Alex makes a noise and Michael pulls him closer, burying his face in Alex’s neck as they hold each other. For the first time since this all started, he doesn’t feel like a monster in a war. He feels like someone who lost something, who has a chance of getting it back. No, he feels like someone who did get it back. He’s spent years watching reunions, envious of those who got to have them. Now he gets it. 

“We have to go,” Alex says regretfully and Michael shakes his head.

“I’m not used to we,” he admits. 

“Me neither,” Alex replies and something cheeky comes into his eyes and he offers his arm, “shall we?”

“Remind me why we’re engaged again?” Michael says, taking his arm. 

****

“So their biggest problem is that we’re both guys?” Michael demands, “that’s it?” He makes a noise of disgust, “What a bunch of morons.” 

Alex is quiet and Michael frowns, lowering the tabloid in favor of looking at Alex who is laying with his head on Michael’s stomach. Deep in thought. Apparently talking about this isn’t going to tug him out of it so Michael searches for the thing that will. 

“At least you look good in the pictures,” he says. 

No response.

“Hey, remember when the biggest issue was that I was a low life?” He says. Alex’s brow furrows, “I guess now you gotta suffer through being with a—and I quote—‘genocidal maniac who likes to take it up the ass’,” he frowns, “I don’t get the correlation.”

“Ugh,” Alex says and grabs the tabloid, throwing it to the side. 

“Not a fan?”

“I can’t believe we’re on all of them,” Alex finally says, breaking his silence, “people didn’t know I was—“ he waves a hand around. Michael tries not to be distracted by the coppery band.

“Gay?”

“In love with the guy I was fighting,” Alex says. 

“Oh,” Michael grins, “right.”

“How are you smiling?” Alex questions, fully grumpy and Michael shrugs. 

“I guess I’m still enamored with you saying that,” he admits. 

Alex looks at him for a long moment before sighing and picking up the tabloid, adjusting his neck against Michael’s stomach. The picture is not one of the official, stiff portraits thank god. Rather it’s of them walking away from the press conference angled towards each other. Alex looks completely dignified and Michael has his head thrown back, laughing at something Alex has said. The next picture is of Alex standing in front of a plane and underneath it says they have the exclusive scoop of his torrid history of canoodling with the enemy. 

“Your scandal would use the word canoodle,” Michael says taking the magazine back.

Alex turns and buries his face in Michael’s stomach with a groan. 

“Can someone else have a scandal?” He pleas.

****

Three days later Max and Liz are caught by the paparazzi mid-smooch and he gets his wish.

****

“Antarian dances are not meant to have two men dancing them,” the man teaching them starts to protest. 

“Well they are now, so let’s figure it out,” Michael says. 

“General Rath,” he begins. 

“God, look, okay there’s already a ton of scandal going on. So if you don’t want to teach then that’s fine,” Michael says, “but I feel like we already crossed the scandal bridge. It’s two dudes dancing together,” he continues, “the biggest problem is gonna be that everyone wants to dance with Alex, which I get, but as his fiancé the job falls to me.” 

“There’s a lot of dipping,” the tutor says, “in this particular dance. Which you must preform,” he continues.

“Great, Alex you wanna dip or should I?” Michael asks. 

Alex looks at him and at the tutor. The spotlight on him is wildly uncomfortable and every move that Michael tries to make to easier it only seems to make it worse. Finally Alex gets to his feet, walks over and immediately starts to lead them impeccably through the dance. The man has one foot and he’s about a thousand times better at this than Michael has ever been. Michael thinks he’d be more outraged if it wasn’t so hot. And just because Alex is, well, Alex, at the end of it he finds himself very firmly in a dip. 

“Splendid!” The tutor claps his hands together, “simply splendid, you move very well General Manes,” he says. 

Michael steals Alex out into the gardens when the lesson is done and they are very well into the massive hedge maze before he manages to relax, even just a little. But Alex is still quiet and Michael can feel the worry churning through him. Maybe this is too much. It wouldn’t be the first time it was. He looks at Alex but doesn’t try to get him to stop, finally sacrificing the pretense. 

“Talk to me,” he says. When Alex opens his mouth, he looks at him and then closes it before opening it again.

“I’m not used to being in the spotlight,” Alex admits. Michael raises an eyebrow, Alex is every bit the hero he is, “because of who I love. I hid it,” he emphasizes, “I thought we would have time before—“

“We got engaged?”

“We caused a scandal,” Alex admits, “I was hoping to avoid the scandal.” 

Michael manages to bite back his sarcastic remarks that even if all this had never happened they would still be pretty scandalous. Worry sparks in Alex’s eyes and Michael bites on his lower lip before getting in front of him and catching his hands with his own.

“We can talk about it,” he says. Alex sighs, “we can,” he stresses, “we should. Because this all will die down,” he reminds him, “look I’ll go first,” he says, “I hate the attention. But I like the world knowing we’re together,” he explains, “I like not having to hide it.”

“I was used to hiding it,” Alex admits, “I’m used to secrets,” he looks at him, “you were born for this. I wasn’t.”

“Yeah which means you earned it,” Michael stresses, “I just woke up here and they started calling me a General.” 

Alex looks at him quietly before starting to walk again. Michael moves alongside him. They don’t always talk about the start of the war, about what happened while they were trying to kill each other. But Michael thinks they probably should. If they are having all these weird conversations. 

“It must have been hard learning on the job,” Alex says.

“Yeah, since I’ve got no poker face,” Michael points out and Alex smiles.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” he murmurs. 

Michael laughs as they wander through. Holding left hands, he can feel the band on Alex’s finger and if he moves his the right way, they can click together. The first few drops of rain startle Alex. The fact that startled means he grips Michael’s hand tighter means more to Michael than he has the words to say. Also the rain on Antar is purple. Alex sticks his other hand out and catches the drops, looking at them intently. They make their way back to his room where Alex has been spending most of his nights, since another advantage to the scandal is that them living together in sin is a small one. Comparatively. But that means that Michael gets to kiss Alex on his balcony in the purple rain.

“I hate the attention,” Alex says, “I wish you weren’t worth it.”

Michael laughs into the kiss and pulls Alex into the room, showing him exactly how worth it he is.

Neither of them sees the man waiting there until it’s too late.

***

“Alex! Hold on, just hold on!”

He’s floating, anchored only by Michael’s warmth. His lips are still swollen, that must be why it’s hard to breathe. It’s bright and he feels Michael kiss his hand before his warmth is gone. There’s hands on him, pulling open what he’s wearing and pressing onto his chest. The movements are quick and efficient and Alex doesn’t know why Michael is worried.

He’s floating.

“Michael! Oh my god, whose blood is that?!”

He hears Michael make a wounded noise and he tires to open his eyes but he can’t remember how.

Then the healing starts and he forgets everything altogether. 

****

Michael’s top three mornings pale in comparison to the one where Alex wakes up. 

One moment Michael is drinking coffee and eating toast under Liz’s death glare, the next he’s running to the bed as Alex stares up at him. He’s physical okay, Antar healing is unparalleled. But between being shot and stressed and sleep deprived, his body needs the break. He’s been asleep for the longest two days of Michael’s life. Alex blinks and frowns at him.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

Michael shakes his head.

“You asshole,” he says, “I thought we talked about you throwing yourself in front of me.��

Alex frowns and looks down at his hand.

“Where’s my ring?”

“God,” Michael shakes his head and sits on the edge of the bed, pulling Alex’s ring off his finger where he’s been wearing it next to his own. He slides it on his hand and Alex relaxes, “no more taking hits for me,” he says.

“But I’m going to be your husband,” Alex says, tugging him down weakly, “I have to protect you.”

Michael goes and presses his face to Alex’s shoulder. He’s been listening to his heart and breathing for two days, reminding himself that Alex is still here. That between his powers and his screaming he was able to make sure Alex wasn’t dead. Alex saved him, saved them both, but he is never going back to his old rooms. They’re moving into new ones and he’s not letting Alex out of his sight.

“I think we should get married sooner,” Alex says.

“Not until you promise to never do that again,” Michael says.

Alex smiles. 

****

He doesn’t promise. 

They move the wedding up anyway. 

****

“Get out! Get out get out get out!”

Michael and Alex’s favorite morning starts with getting yelled at.

Isobel is not amused considering the work she’s done to keep them apart. Not that it matters. They’ve managed to wind up in the same room, tangled together. Alex lifts his head as Michael groans and presses his forehead to his shoulder before turning over to his irate sister. 

“You said no more scandals!”

“Iz, the only scandal is how loud you’re yelling,” he says, pushing himself up. Under the sheets, Alex’s hand doesn’t move from the small of his back, “it’s early!”

“You have to get ready,” she says, “we both know how long it takes to do your hair.” 

“She’s right,” Alex says rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Don’t take her side, she’s just your sister in law. I’m going to be your husband!”

Alex softens at his outrage. Reminding each other they’re going to be married is the new I love you, though that’s still pretty great to hear. He’d marry Michael with his sleep rumpled curls and his old UFO emporium t-shirt, but he gets the need for this to go well from a public perspective. The problem is while he would, Michael looks like he has every intention of actually doing that. So Alex kneads his lower back and regretfully shifts away so he can get up, leaving Michael less than thrilled at this turn of events. 

“Your hair—“

“I’ll telekinetically remove the water,” Michael argues, passing him coffee that Alex takes with a nod of thanks.

“We can’t be late,” he says finally. Michael rolls his eyes, “the faster we get this done the faster we’ll be married.”

Michael considers this as he spins the copper band around his finger. Alex looks to his still glaring soon to be sister in law and then back to his soon to be husband who shoves a hand through his hair and pushes his curls off his forehead. Family, Alex thinks, this is what a family is. His family. Michael stands up and stretches, tugging his stolen shirt and looking at Isobel. 

“Guess we should get going, huh?” He says, dragging a hand through his hair and flashing Alex the kind of grin that makes him want to pull Michael back into bed, “see you later,” he says and steals a kiss from the corner of Alex’s mouth. Alex catches him, pulls him back and kisses him properly. 

“See you soon.”

[grimmarray]

Soulmate Sanctuary!

I’ve decided to take my favourite trope and my favourite fandom and do a thing!

Basically I’m gonna choose a Soulmate AU of some kind and a pairing and write something. Dunno how this will pan out in the end, but for now, enjoy!

Soulmate AU: Dreams Pairing: KiriBaku Words:1867

“Mom?”

“Yes Eijiro,”

“You have dreams right?”

“Of course I do,” she nodded bending down to address her young son.

“Do yours have the same person over and over?” he asked hesitantly.

Her face lit up and she took his little hand, “Oh honey, your having soulmate dreams,”

“What’s that?” he asked, his tone taking a more interested note to it.

“Well, they say if you dream about a certain person, then they are your soulmate, someone who will be a very important part of your life,” she explained.

“Like Mama is?” Eijiro asked.

“Actually, exactly like your Mama,” She smiled, “I dreamed about her for years before I eventually met her,”

“But my person looks like a boy,” His face betrayed a bit of confusion.

She laughed lightly, “It can be any kind of person, doesn’t matter boy or girl. It doesn’t even have to be like your Mama and I, it can be like Yu-kun and I, best friends for life,”

“Yu-san is your soulmate too?”

“No, not in this case, but what I’m trying to say is that a soulmate is about a mutual love, but that love can take any kind of shape,” she elaborated.

“Okay,” Eijiro seemed to consider that, “I hope my soulmate comes soon,”

“I hope so too sweetie,”

 “You actually know your soulmate?” a girl gasped aloud, “I always thought it was like super unlikely,”

“I met them on the train yesterday, but only because I was late!” another squealed.

“I’ve heard people can actually have more than one,” Ashido spoke up, looking thoughtful. Kirishima perked up at her mention of it, she seemed really invested in soulmate stuff, and while he’d resigned himself to waiting for his, he’d always wondered about hers.

“Yeah, and a lot of people have none,” the first rolled her eyes.

Ashido shrugged, “I’ve heard most of those people have really unclear dreams,” she twirled a lock of her hair around her finger thoughtfully, “Some people don’t even have their dreams until the day before they meet,”

“Girl, don’t tell me,” the second looked way sympathetic.

“I’m totally good, I have the dreams, just not often,” she admitted before she hurtled back to talking about the one girl’s soulmate.

 “I can’t believe we both got into UA!” Mina cheered, “I can’t wait to meet our classmates!”

“Yeah,” Kirishima affirmed quietly.

“Dude, I thought you were changing your image,” she poked his cheek until a he broke into a smile and batted her away.

“I am, just thinking,”

“About?”

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

Ashido crossed her chest, “cross my heart, now spill!”

Kirishima sighed, “I’m wondering if my soulmate is gonna be there,”

“Did you see them at the tests?” Ashido pressed excitedly.

“I didn’t but I get this feeling,” Kirishima shrugged.

“Oh my god! That is totally a good sign!” she squealed, “Of course your gonna meet them then!”

“You know I don’t think I’ve ever asked you about it?” Kirishima looked at her and suddenly she was the one quietly thinking.

“Yeah, cause you’re too nice,” she eventually said, “I get kinda embarrassed, but I guess since you told me…”

Kirishima waited for her to keep going, and they got about a block before she let out a big huff and slapped her cheeks a couple of times, “Get yourself together girl!” then she rounded on Kirishima, “I actually have several,”

“Actually?!” Kirishima gasped, “That’s awesome, I always knew you had a lot of love to go around,”

“Argh, that’s so not the reaction I’m used to, but hearing it from you is so cool!” she squealed and hopped up and down a couple times before settling down, “Two of them have always been crystal clear for me, but then there are a few who are blurry, like… uh, never mind, but anyway, I get these pretty odd dreams, like I’ve never heard of anything like this so I’m not even sure if it’s a legit thing or my own dreams projecting, but in them, all the people I dream of separately are together,”

“That has to mean something,” Kirishima pumped a fist in the air, “Who knows, maybe they’ll be your hero agency one day!” The both of them laughed out loud.

“Yeah I hope so,” Ashido smiled as they approached the gates of UA.

 “He didn’t even recognize me,” Eijiro said, his face down on the table, “I didn’t even have the guts to go say hi, so unmanly,”

“Ei, he probably was just as nervous as you were,” his Mom pointed out.

“No, far from it,” he grumbled, “That guy just oozes confidence,”

“You can’t get yourself down,” she stopped her work and sat down next to him, “For all you know he might not have the dreams as vividly as you do. You’ve always been so honest and strong-hearted, and you’ve been able to see him vividly since you could talk, probably even before then. This bond you’ll have is going to be so strong, but the catch is you have to help it along,”

“How do I do that?” Eijiro mumbled.

His mother took his face in her hands and made him look her in the eye, “You love him, that’s what you do. Find a way to put yourself beside him and don’t ever let him go. I’ve watched you grow into the strong young man I see right now, and while you changed the way you present yourself, your still you and I can’t think of anyone stronger,”

Kirishima blinked once before his expression softened into a smile, one of his hands coming up to hold his Mom’s, “Thanks, I think I needed that,”

“Yeah you did,” she smiled back before ruffling his hair, “Now go wash up and get your Mama, dinner will be ready in 10,”

 There was a sharp blast in the middle of the night, waking half the dorms in a start before they all realized what it was. While most went back to sleep without a second thought, they all knew what the nightmares were like, Kirishima pressed an ear to the wall and knew something was different.

“Hey Bakugou?” he knocked lightly on the door, “You good?” He heard a yelp and some rustling, followed by a thump. He shook his head fondly, used to the embarrassed shuffle from behind the door when things got bad, but again, something about it was different.

He waited, seeing if Bakugou would open up himself, though he almost never did, but he didn’t exactly want to barge in and scare the guy. The last time he barged in he got an explosion to the face, which wasn’t actually that bad, but he’d rather not have to even out his horns again. He ended up sitting beside the door before it finally cracked.

“What the fuck!?” Bakugou snapped as he discovered Kirishima lounging beside the door, “I was fucking waiting for you, dumbass,” the last word trailed off though Kirishima supposed it was because Bakugou had backed away from the door so he could come in.

“You want to tal-mmph” Kirishima said as he came in the door before Bakugou basically attacked him with a kiss. It was sloppy and rough, and before he knew it, it was over, but Kirishima suddenly understood.

“You had a dream,” he said softly, a smile lighting his face.

Bakugou’s eyebrows seemed to drill themselves further into the near permanent crease in his forehead, “How…!?” he spat out before his brain seemed to catch up, “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” the words sounded like he was verging on a yell, but was purposefully keeping it down.

Kirishima thought about it but when Bakugou seemed to get impatient, he shrugged, “It never really occurred to me to,” it was the honest truth, “Though I’ll admit at first I was pretty intimidated,”

Bakugou seemed to bite back the probably scathing remark he would impulsively spit, and swallowed it down before letting out something better thought out, “How long?”

“What?”

“How long have you known, idiot?”

“I always have,”

This seemed to shock Bakugou, completely smoothing the crease of his brow as they flew up past his bangs, “You’re kidding,”

Kirishima shook his head, “Ever since I can remember, you’ve been as clear to me as things I’d see in reality. You never blurred, I bet if I saw old class photos, I’d be able to pick you out instantly,”

This really seemed to stump Bakugou, as he went and flopped himself back on his bed. Kirishima followed and watched as the shock gradually shifted into annoyance before settling into disbelief.

“I’ve never had a clear dream in my life,” Bakugou spoke, barely loud enough for Kirishima to hear, “It made it so much easier to push people away, to rationalize that I could best everyone, that I didn’t need some stupid soulmate to be the best. I almost fell for it,” he paused briefly before he met Kirishima’s gaze again with determination, “Then you fucking smashed your way in and made yourself at home, I didn’t even clue in because I was too fucking focused on myself. That’s not even the worst of it, my selfish ass got kidnapped and caused All Might’s end, and not once did I look at your stupid red-head and clue in. Not even as you dragged me out of that hell-hole,”

“What have you been thinking this whole fucking time?” Bakugou asked him straight.

“I didn’t want to push things, cause I know soulmates can just be, you know, mates?” Kirishima shrugged, “I know you got ambitions, so I just figured I’d be by your side to support you along the way,” he looked at his feet, “When you got taken it felt like a hole got punched through me, it hurt a lot and I nearly got expelled trying to save you, but it didn’t matter to me. I needed you to be safe, and when you were I couldn’t even begin to explain how much it took for me to let go of your hand and not grab you in my arms and not let you go,”

“You never once thought to fucking tell me this shit?” Bakugou grabbed his shoulder, “I thought being honest was manly or some shit?”

“You never asked,” Kirishima turned back, leaning slightly into the hand.

“Dumbass,” Bakugou hissed, “Fucking idiot bleeding heart,”

“Wow thanks,” Kirishima snickered softly at the string of insults.

“Geez, only you would laugh at that,” Bakugou growled, “The dream was so vivid,” he didn’t hesitate as he pulled Kirishima into him and wrapped his arms around him, “It was like I got punched in the chest by All Might again, but it didn’t hurt, literally the opposite.”

Kirishima returned the embrace, finding nothing but warmth within it, “As vivid as this right now?”

“Fucking sappy hallmark bullshit, yes!” Bakugou muttered, “I like this better,” with that he buried his face into Kirishima’s shoulder.

“Good to know the real thing is preferred,” Kirishima hummed letting his cheek fall against his head, “Can I stay?”

“Do what you want,” came the muffled reply.

“Okay, stay it is,” Kirishima smiled.

‘Exactly like Mama,’

1/?

First | Next->

[spicy-ahjumma]

✨My Unpopular K-Pop Opinions; (part 1 probably)

Y'all can come for me if you want, but these are my own personal opinions and I'm fully entitled to have them.

Disclaimer: I mean no hate or bad-will toward any of the groups mentioned here. These are my own opinions, but of course they are not the opinions of everyone and I'm fully aware of that. I acknowledge the success of all groups. Thank you.

>kpop bands are slept on way too much - at this point y'all are just hurting yourselves because you're missing out on some amazing groups and some top-quality music; day6, n.flying, the rose, lunafly, cnblue, ft.island, and so many others

>day6 has not put out a single bad song. this isn't even an opinion, it's a fact. if you don't stan them, i honestly don't know what you're doing with your life.

>hyuna and e'dawn have paved the way for other kpop artists to be openly in relationships. they made a huge sacrifice, don't think for a second that they didn't know how things would go down when they came out about being together; they made a sacrifice and now other idols will hopefully have the courage to do the same

>related to above point: hyuna and e'dawn are a total power couple. when they do join a new label or possibly form their own, they will be unstoppable and cube can choke

>jyp ent is the best of the big 3, and probably one of the best labels in general. as someone who stans groups/artists from pretty much every label there is, i have to say that jyp really impresses me. despite being a large label, they really care about their artists and let them have a lot of creative freedom.

>i don't like the fact that bts win every single award these days. (i already know i'll get hate for this) bts are a talented group, don't get me wrong, but i literally don't understand where all this attention has come from bc there are groups that have way better vocals, rappers, visuals, songs, etc. i have been an army since debut and ofc it's nice to see them do well, but we might as well just do away with award shows now since bts win everything every year anyway.

>loona's ot12 debut was disappointing. i love loona, have followed every single solo debut and unit, and i think their concept is so unique and interesting (props to blockberry) but i was expecting something more from their group debut. fav0rite was good, but hi high was a bit... i just felt it wasn't up to their usual standards so i hope 2019 will be a better year for loona

>chung ha is kinda boring. she has amazing facial expressions onstage and i know she's super talented, but it's the weirdest thing - i've never come across it before where someone with so much charisma manages to be so boring onstage at the same time. i'm sorry, i've really tried to like her, but i just find that her songs end up being kinda flat

>nine muses' gyeongree's solo debut was slept on. blue moon was a really great song with great presence and choreography, and it was basically the female equivalent of taemin's move, but y'all let that one flop.

>jennie has been lazy lately. i am a blink, i was jennie biased up until ddu-du ddu-du, and i have been a jennie fan since she joined yg years ago. but we can't deny the truth, for whatever reason, she hasn't been putting effort into her group performances lately. solo performances, she's been fine, it's just the group stages. my opinion: i think blackpink peaked too soon, they got too popular too quickly and now jennie doesn't feel as though she needs to put the effort in anymore bc people will support her anyway

>stellar deserved so much better, they cried for help so many times and tried to make changes in the industry so that girl groups wouldn't keep being exploited but people didn't listen, and instead chose to judge them for their sexy concepts (that they literally didn't want to do) and now the members have ptsd and struggle with their daily lives

>mental health still isn't being taken as seriously as it should be. after my sweet baby boy jonghyun left us, people were finally starting to pay attention to the importance of mental health, but i think it's starting to slip again now

>bam is the same as bboom bboom, and that's ok. momoland clearly found a genre that works for them, and given the success of bboom bboom, of course their company would try to cash in on a similar song. y'all have no problems when other groups release really similar songs, like gfriend (literally all of their songs sound the same to me) so why is everyone attacking momoland?

>imfact are some of the most talented idols, but they're not getting any recognition. literally, watch any of their live stages or listen to any of their covers or songs, including their solos they've been releasing lately, and try and tell me they don't deserve the world

>holland can sing. he has a unique voice that isn't very idol-like, but that doesn't mean he can't sing. yes a lot of his fanbase is there just because he's gay but if it'll help his career take off and if it means important conversations start being had in korea, then so be it.

>the way bighit handled jimin's t-shirt controversy wasn't good enough. they donated to korean victims of the atomic bombs but it wasn't the korean victims who were offended, and the t-shirt was clearly an anti-japan propaganda (and yes, i know how bad japan was during their occupation, they were evil and that is another issue in itself but that doesn't excuse the t-shirt)

>labelling a group member as 'visual' is kinda unnecessary bc they're all visually perfect and it puts added pressure onto the member given that title

>shinee are one of the greatest kpop groups of all time. yes, i am quite biased as i've been with them for 10 years now but i honestly never get bored of their music, personalities, tv shows, etc. they are such versatile artists and they have been through so much & deserve so much respect

>starship are doing boyfriend so dirty but nobody is paying attention so they're getting away with it. let them have a korean comeback you cowards.

>cube are never going to promote clc properly, and they will probably disband them soon. they have (g)i-dle now, the group who gives them everything clc unfortunately couldn't, so they have basically cast clc aside. we all saw what happened with la vie en rose.

>iz*one should have a different center. i have nothing against wonyoung she's so tiny and smol and young, but to me she is quite plain and she doesn't have that charisma that i've come to expect from produce groups. i didn't watch all of produce 48 so to begin with i didn't even realise wonyoung was the center, i legit thought it was sakura, i'm sorry

>taemin is one of the most talented idols. he is the best dancer in kpop right now, and not only that, he isn't afraid to experiment with different genres. his japanese music is stunning.

>exo have one of the best vocal lines, every live performance is perfect

[celestialallstars]

Episode #1: “This cast, fuck me, fuck them.” - Rhys

Ok so my pregame thoughts. It seems like there are a lot of contenders that were threats in their original seasons just based off of placements. I’m really gonna try to use this to my advantage because in my season, I don’t think I was very threatening. Unfortunately I’ll miss the cast reveal, but I’m hoping that doesn’t put me in a bad spot. This game is gonna be tough, but I know I can do it. At least make merge. You need small goals in order to achieve bigger ones. Cast assessment coming up next :)

Y'all I am ANXIOUS! I've had a bad run recently and for the most part I never really care that much. But if I flop on this season I'll die of sadness. Okay but for real, I want to do well this season and idk what kind of people I'm going to be up against, and I couldn't even get my intro to send like i'm such a joke. Ugh y'all how can I be this stressed already.

Just roughly 2 hours before we're gonna really dive into the thick of things. There are so many things I wanna say and so many things I'm just beyond excited about. I really think this is gonna be a Top Tier Season.

I'm vowing to make the most of my stay no matter how long or short. I'm gonna try to drive the pessimist in my mind away and do my best to avoid being that early boot just because I'm a previous winner. Y'all better watch out!

This is gonna be FuCkInG LiT!!!

Getting ready for this season, I'm honored tbh. I feel like it's my first fully-legit-no-strings-attached All-Stars appearance. I was on EMBB All-Stars, but only because I was an alternate for Jake and he decided to be a host instead. Being invited back on my merits exclusively feels amazing, I just hope I can live up to my own expectations in this game and take home the win.

Hi I’m super excited to be brought back to play this game. I’m gonna play maybe a little harder but I’m hoping to keep my gameplay very similar to last season cause it did me well I just need to not freak out. I’m really looking forward to seeing who I’m playing with and I know this season will be fun.

So. This cast, fuck me, fuck them. Like they all seem so much more capable than me. Like bitch bye.

My tribe honestly idk yet. They seem cool,  haven’t talked to most of them yet. So I’ll get back on that.

The only person I’m not happy is cast is Michael. Bitch hated me for no reason last season. So bitch best watch his back cause I’m bringing this hatred back this season.

Also one world can fuck off

So I am meeting everyone and honestly so far this is a nice group. A mixture of old faces like Zach and Loris and new ones like everyone else! Everybody is radical, but I am gonna try and give it a short moment before giving an assessment. Having that said, im gonna get dragged and murdered by this cast....call the police.

Hi so the game has just started and I feel like already so much has happened it has been intense. This cast? stacked. One world? intense. Me? crying.

This entire cast is so iconic and so loved I honestly don't know how to feel rn I am scared as all hell but I'm ready to fight for my fucking life. I'm also quite glad for the one world because I love the idea of being able to socialise with EVERYONE since that's such a strong point of my game for me considering I'm horrific in challenges. I just really hope I can pull things off this season and actually have someone like me and prove that I am in fact worthy of an all star title.

Being on call with people from the one world chat is honestly so fun and I can tell this is going to be a great season and we're literally only like 2.5 hours in. I really wanna make it to the end so I can experience it in it's fully glory.

amazingly, i don't think me being an admin is going to be to a problem??? i wanna thank you three beauts for giving me a wonderful tribe. i love matt, bodhi's hilarious, alyssa intimidates me but she's cute and i love allying strong women, tobi forced me to keysmash, and mo and karthik are kind of blase but its ONLY NIGHT ONE. all in all, think i can survive on this tribe. just get me to merge baby i cannot go premerge in this org if annas not gonna play then I CANT LET US DOWN

So we've officially landed in this ORG, and immediately smacked in the face with a flaccid twist that is One World. So instead of trying to balance 6 relationships I have to balance 20. I'm of course already a mess trying to keep track of it all.

Bodhi and I already have an instant F2, we'll see how that works out given we aren't even on the same tribes. Meanwhile I'm already in love with Bryce as a person and trying to possible Corral all the winners together. Obviously we need to make sure the Winners make it to merge.

I think on my tribe specifically I'm probably getting along best with Mitch, I think Rhys has a similar sense of humor as me but he went to bed too early for me to figure out more. There's a ton more sweet people on the other tribes too I just don't have time to delve into all of them, nor do I have enough substance to any of them to develop opinions anyway.

I have an idea as far as connections go for this tribe but I'm not sure yet if it is strong. Loris is sleeping though I did talk with everyone else. I have a feeling Chloe/Zach would be safest but also that Chloe/Michael might be together. Regardless I think I'll be sticking with Zach if I can help that. Drew seems nice too and Sharky seems it too. Not sure how things will go but I do have to be smart since I would be the easy choice as winner if we lose. I'm gonna be optimistic about it all though :) as for the people on other tribes I'll get to them later. This is going to be fun!

________________________________________________________________

Now that I can see the actual twist (am dummy) I have to try and make some alliances between and in the tribes. I mean making one with the winners shouldn't be too hard but I am gonna want something with a few member here and there from each. I think things are about to get much difficult because I can tell lot of these people are more familiar with each other with their histories and I am just like "hi..." so I def need to wedge myself on in there some way..I've got my work cut out for me

HI ASDDASJKLASDLJK I was so nervous but like.. I feel my victory coming.. I'm pulling my weight in the challenge I think and our tribe's pretty cool!! It's all stars.. so like.. it's no surprise that I like everyone. Sharky seems to be busy so like.. if we lose that could be a good scapegoat.. ALSO?? i was on the blog and i was like wow jones' fairy drawing is so pretty.. so i hovered over it and accidentally clicked it.. and.. i found my legacy advantage again ADSALKDKLJASKLD. and anna said to make sure you search the blog to learn about people and i didnt even see that......... im so lucky :)

So this is so exciting. I’m trying to get to know everyone. Theres one person i was effy about on my tribe and that was Jared. But he’s been talking to me and been nice. But i still have my eyes 👀 on him. Its been nice catching up with Bryce. And been talking to Mitch Rhys and Kori. I hope i can get myself in a good social position where even if im not in their alliance, that im not someone they want to take out. But this time im gunna use my bonds to my advance and hopefully it gets me to the end.

Hi i don't really know what to say right now I just know I wanted to put down some thoughts. So far I'm so fucking in love with this entire cast I'm pretty sure I've spoken to every single person in one way or another which is great, I love to see people fully invested into a season they're playing. I also really love this first challenge, although scavenger hunts stress me the fuck out because i find so many items are so hard to find, I'm just hoping my tribe can pull out a win for us and I'm sure they will cause they're all so iconic and I love them all with my whole heart already.

So I've spoken more to people thusfar and like currently I'm speaking more to people I've spoken to before which like isn't great, because i hate relying on past relations. Like i am speaking to others who are new, its just a bit awkward. So lets push by that and hopefully they aint boring af.

Well so far I've gotten a few items on my list done. Progress is slow but steady. I'm a bit worried about this tribe given it seems like all of us being on at the same time might be unlikely. (That and we're halfway through and only 2 of us have added items to our list.)

I might just be too uptight though, we'll probably be fine. I haven't gotten to talk with people today as much as I wanted as a result of balancing the other ORG and this one as well as apartment hunting and scavenging. I'm beginning to think I planned poorly and have too much on my plate at the moment...

BUT I WILL PERSEVERE! YES SIR'RE I WILL!

CAST ASSESSMENT TIMEEEE Let me start with Orfero Chris- So chris is someone who I think can either go really far as an UTR threat like he did his first season, or be an early boot. I think him and I have a similar playstyle, but he is much more poetic and structured. I am really looking forward to play with him again! We dominated in afvv and im glad he won, but I won't let that happen again. He's too good. ioris- Honestly I see ioris as more of a goat. Maybe that's false perception, but I could easily see him latching onto someone for the long haul and not being respected later on. As of now, I don't think I would work with ioris, but if the situation arises, I wont hesitate. Drew H- OK I LOVE DREW FIRST OF ALL. I am actually SUPER excited that we are finally playing a game together. I really want to work with him, but unfortunately I think he is too threatening to the point where he wont make it far. Michael- Ok so this was definitely a wildcard. I think Michael is someone to watch out for. I don't know how he'll fair in this game, knowing that people recognize his gameplay. He could either go mid merge or permerge, but I dont think he has a shot at winning. Sharky- Sharky is someone I'm unfamilar with, and for that reason alone, I am guessing he makes it deep by flying UTR while winning challenges. Zach- Zach is another sneaky player. I really would love to work with him after our relationship in emvv4 where I voted him out at f10. He is definitely not someone to brush under the rug though, because he is also very threating. I predict a mid merge boot for Zach. Clohie- I personally don't see Clohie as much of a threat,  but I hope she proves me wrong. We have had limited discussion, but I can tell she is here to play. I predict she will make FTC this time, but only time will tell

Alignments: For Orfero, I can see Chris ioris and Zach on one side, Michael Drew H and Sharky on the other with  Clohie in the middle

Tuatha Kori- I've been itching to play an org with kori too and im glad we are on the same tribe because i know how well he can perform in challenges. He is probably my closest ally right now, so I really hope he gets far. My prediction is early merge for him. Rhys- Rhys seems so sweet. We havent had much conversation due to timezone issues, but I'd love to work with Rhys. He is super charming and I think he can go far! My prediction for rise is late merge. Maynor- Maynor is probably the person most difficult to talk to. I have discussed with Kori and he says that his weakest relationships are with Maynor and Jared, so i think its telling that maynor might be an early boot. Jared- I think jared is super cool and he's been a player I have to watch VERY carefully. I do see myself working with him because our convos have been good so far, but I feel like he can be a good talker. We'll see how it turns out but i predict Jared being a premerge boot. He claimed to be a crackhead in confessionals though so we'll see :). Stephen Z- Man i really wish I had better conversations with him!! I think he is super cool, but he does not seem to remember who I am. If our convos improve like I hope they will, I could see Stephen going early merge. Bryce- I really like bryce too but he is soooo unpredictable and sketchy. I think his  cast reveal intro shed bad light on him to other players too, but I know from experience. I see bryce being a premerge boot, but I hope he proves me wrong. I just dont feel like I can fully trust him.

Alignments: For Tuatha, I see myself aligning closely with Kori and Jared. I dont know what the dynamics would be, but I feel like Maynor is already on the outs.

Cyrena Mo- I LOVE MO SO MUCH. What a gem. I met him in TS Montenegro and he considered me one of his closest allies and saved me from elimination at f9 only for me to vote him out at f8. I still feel bad but im hoping we can mend our relationship and go far together. I actually do think he could make a deep run and  definitely get to finale by laying low. Tobi- Tobi and I in games USUALLY don't end up on the same sides. That being said, I'd love to work with Tobi and I hope he makes merge unlike in emvvas. Matt- Matt is another mystery for me. On one hand, I know he is not only a host favorite but a fan favorite as well, but on the other I  dont really know what he brings to the table. Another wildcard for me that I see going early merge. Jack- Jack and I have a history for sure LOL. It feels like we play every game together. I think Jack is a super nice person, and I'd love to work with him again. We dont really mesh on a personal level which makes it difficult, but I learned my lesson of trying to avoid Jack in emvvas (he got me out) Bodhi- I've seen bodhi around a bit, and can be the hero or the villain. He is quirky in a good way. I see bodhi as being the comical relief that goes mid merge for being too likeable. Alyssa- honestly alyssa seems kind of annoying. I dont want to speak too soon but i dont get good vibes from her. I think she might be an early boot on her tribe. but i truly hope im wrong about her. Karthik- I know karthik from em and i really think he could make a loyal ally. His win was well deserved but i dont necessarily think he is a threat. My predicition for him is still prejury because of his timezone. It's unpredictable when he has power and when he doesnt.

Alignments: For Cyrena, I see Mo Alyssa Tobi in one alliance and Matt Jack and Bodhi in another with Karthik out of the loop.

I'm excited to see how accurate my predicition are! I didnt bother including a winner because i still think its too early to tell. Game ON!

Wow a discord call this early in the game!! Strategy? Nope! It's... Alyssa explaining tarot cards to me. Gotta do what you can for social game ig (its ok now we're talking about romcoms)

iz me beech

what a gift, hi im mo. a dumb bottom who treats himself like shit so no one else does.

IM AN ALL STAR ISNT THAT INSANE. I cannot express how excited I am to be playing this game, plus I fucking love this cast. Like my tribe? Fantastic.

Alyssa - The sister I always wanted. I love her she’s so great.

Matt - New good friend and probably who I’m closest to at the moment I get happy when he gets online cus he gets me and my shit.

Jack - He can rap and he’s nice, what an icon.

Rhys - SUCH A SWEETHEART, I’m so excited to play with him again.

Karthik - Also super sweet, he seems like a genuine guy and I’m looking forward to playing with him.

Tobi - I love that I get to play with him again we haven’t talked all too much but we’ve talked a bit. (I definitely have my guard up around him just cus of something he did in Muxloe)

Bodhi - Kinda inactive unfortunately but he seems nice.

Mo - Dumb bitch.

sits. hi. so like. just like elara im gonna do a countdown to when i can play my legacy because yall CRAZY if you think im willing it to someone else... uh...WAIT.. I JUST REALISED... I THINK I COULD'VE SAVED BIG Z WITH MY LEGACY?? if only i knew he was going... sorry big z... you wont read this.. anyways. ok so. it is final 21. so. 15 (or 8 i guess...) people need to be voted out before i can play it.. i can DO IT. and this time i am not telling a SOUL about it. like. NO ONE.. and the beauty of the legacy is that people shouldn't really even suspect it exists.. heehee!

ANYWAYS! let's talk about the game. so. my tribe is a mess. i love zach and chloe... chris is a king.. i played elara with drew h and he's a babe so there's that. michael king. and sharky hasnt been on much because he's busy which is like awful timing n i feel bad especially if we lose because i think he might go? :-(

as for the other tribes.. bryce asked to be allies i said shure. i love rhys.. thats all bye

________________________________________________________________

UPDATE!! i love BODHI!!!!!!!!!!!! like..... wow. hes such a king. no words at all.

Our tribe has lots of stuff done on our sheet. I hope we are able to get it done. I hope we can win immunity, first tribal will suck.

________________________________________________________________

Omg. 3 minutes until sheets are locked. Im kind of nervous. I really want us to be immune.

My tribe mates- Rhys: he is amazing and i feel like we get along pretty well. We have been talking. Mitch: also very nice. Was the first person to message me and i really like him. Kori: we talked a bit. Is someone i need to talk to more. Bryce: my marmoreal f3. ❤️ Jared: amazing guy and really like talking to him. Would work with him. Stephen: the person i least have talked to but i need to talk to more.

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I’m am extemely excited that we won immunity. It gives me more time to talk and bond with these people. Im really liking my tribe. I hope we can keep winning immunity. (Knocks on wood)

We won! Yas! It's unfortunate that we couldn't snatch the reward, but we came close and I think that counts for something.

Chloe and Drew definitely carried the Orfeo tribe to their reward, meanwhile Karth practically killed Cyrena himself. I'm pretty happy being that perfectly middle score on my tribe. High enough to be a contributor, low enough to like not be a threat for try-harding or something.

I'm gonna hopefully take this time to get to bond with people more. Chloe and I are getting married apparently which is cute. She's honestly pretty sweet so I'm already a hardcore stan.

Gonna enjoy the time off, and see what this idol system is about. Maybe I'll get lucky this season.

i am OVERWHELMED like ok so most the cast i feel like doesnt like me. my tribe has ppl who arent super active (this is literally marmoreal flash backs) kori is so.. much idk JKFADSHFKJ like he just is rly.. there! jared is my new fave i love that man so much we are going so far KNOW that. rhys.. an angel i LOVE him i just get him and he gets me. maynor? doesnt reply idk its off. stephen.. not here. mitch? ignores me for long time. so ya that sucks but wooh jared and rhys! also LOVE chloe, loris, zach, maybe tobi!!!

YAAAAAAAAS safety is so important right nowwwww, having safety is crucial bc I wanna keep my friends in this game and keep building bridges. I also have a little advantage to help me search for the idol and nobody needs to know about it except me so hopefully soon I’ll have an idol in my back pocket!

The first few days of this game have been fun. I always enjoy getting to know a new tribe of people. Still, all of these people are essentially new to me. I've been in VL's with Kori and Mitch, and I helped host Jared in Wakea, but playing with people is a totally different ballgame. Still these 3 are probably the relationships I'm most interested in investing time in right now.

As for people off of my tribe, I feel pretty good about my old Komnata castmates. Alyssa, Zach and Karth all worked well with me in the pre-merge and I can definitely see myself working with them here as well. Chris is also my BFF I would literally die for him. Jack is also someone I know well and I know he's a good ally, but we're also playing another ORG together at this very moment (SBBB7) and I just made a move there knowing he wouldn't approve of it, so that's something I have to keep in mind as well. I think as long as I can set myself up well on this current tribe, I could be in it for the long hall!

Looking at the challenge results, it looks really bad for my bro Karth. It's gonna suck if he goes first because we instantly connected back in Komnata, but hey, I don't think I have the clout to save him here. It's the first tribal council and there's no basement to hide in this time.

Today is gonna be a big day though. Before Cyrena goes to Tribal Council, I'm planning to reach out to Mitch and Kori about formally becoming allies. Just like my first season, I'll use the idol search as my opening statement!

SO lots to discuss. First off, we got fucking demolished in immunity. Fucking embarassing. Matt Alyssa and I showed tf up with 100+, and Mo and Bodhi weren't far behind. Tobi did not have a good showing but FUCKING. KARTHIK. TWO POINTS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That's disgraceful this is god damn all stars you're a WINNER and you give 2 god damn 1 point submissions. Get the fuck out of my tribe. He should be the easiest first boot in history but of course everyone wants to pussyfoot around for the first 12-18 hours of tribal and not throw out a name. But there's no avoiding this. He's inactive, he has a bad timezone comparatively, and he did diddly poo in the challenge. He's. Gone.

Luckily I find myself with 2 quick alliances right out the shoot, a trio with Alyssa and Matt and a duo with Bodhi. I found myself gravitating to these 4 a lot the first couple days, Mo and Tobi are a bit quieter so I like these 3 allies for me moving forward. Sidenote, BoJack has got to be the greatest alliance name in Celestial history. I'd go back and look to compare but I'm lazy.

One World is still kicking my ass, a lot of people want to talk to me and I don't have the energy for it but damn it I guess I have no other choice, I can't just not respond to them.

Ok so fucking karthik made an alliance with Me, Mo, Matt. And spilled his heart out to us. But we left him on read and now he’s super lonely. Hopefully he doesn’t have an idol or whatever.

Also this game started!! I’m very busy with school but I have things to say. I’m close with some people from before, I really like Loris and Tobi and Alyssa. I’m feeling pretty good about my position right now.

Fuck yeah, not first boot!!! Although I would’ve loved to win as were so close, but can blame that on my tribe mates cause me and Bryce pulled through.

So right now, my closest ally I feel like would be Bryce. Primarily cause were on the same tribe and then I speak to him most on our tribe, and most of the other cast. Then would be jarred, so I want to make hopefully an alliance between them, maybe another, just to confirm my spot in the tribe.

Feel like my main goal is to make connection, as it seems like everyone else has some with other people. So like if it comes to me someone they don’t know, against someone they've player with before just looks bad for me. So I’m trying to make up with Michael, just so that’s one less target in my back.

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Also I talk to Zach a lot. But don’t trust him at all. We have been “dating” since the cast reveal. But he asked Mo to be in a showmance too?! Plus Bryce said he talks to zach the most but Bryce wasn’t in who Zach talks to the most.

This sounds like Tween drama but it’s so much more.

Am I being flirted with?????????

https://youtu.be/GBCr-tAsKTc

My slow self. In regards to the other castmates- I didnt realize how much I talked to the members of Tuatha. Bryce, Rhys, Kori all are red but I've probably done most of my talking with Jared and Stephen who I really wanna get together with at some point. I've reached out to other people like Jack and Alyssa and Mo. I may be forgetting some people but I'm just gonna keep talking up a storm with everybody!  If I had to pick my closest people so far, it definitely would be Jared, Stephen, Zach, and Michael.. stay tuned!

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I FLOPPED at this challenge hard. Drew and Sharky I am sorry for sharing you peeps on the low for being MIA when I was here and performed worse! I am happy we won though because I like my entire tribe and honestly I see a lot of good from them! And so the game begins!

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I am just putting gears in motion! I've made it clear with Stephen, Kori, and Jared I want to work with them. I want to get a cross tribe alliance going and it seems Tuatha is my in though I have to see about other people. As for Orfeo...I talked with Zach on starting a majority alliance with Chloe and Loris, we'll see how it goes and if it is legitimate but I definitely hope I can trust Michael enough to keep him. I still am gonna  not get comfortable because I can see myself being targeted but yeah

https://youtu.be/ia3DTwLWMi8

So we’re going to tribal... and honestly I’m terrified bc I was one of the poorer performers in the challenge but the thing is that Karthik got a whole ass 2 in the challenge... a challenge where you get 8/9 points for drinking water... so I would think he’d be the easy vote but everyone was SUPER quiet yesterday and no one wanted to give names but today is looking a bit better but I swear if I go home over karthik.... I. will. call. out. all. of. them. Not only was his score tragic but I don’t think he’s been social at all... people from other tribes think that karthik is definitely going so maybe I’m just crazy paranoid for no reason but idk I’ll have to talk wayyyy more to everyone just to be sure

well here is my first real confessional of the game! Sorry its late been busy.

So firstly my tribe is like super cute. I'm glad i don't know everyone cause then i would be worried, plus i do genuinely like getting to know new people so that is definitely a yay moment. I am also really liking this cast, though more wahmen would be nice but this is all stars, we r not casting wahmen for the sake of it. - anna jane 2k19.

The first challenge? selfie scavenger. a classic if i have seen one. a surprisingly difficult one at that but im glad how well i performed. top scorer on my tribe so i'm really glad about that and how I will be perceived as an asset for a while at least (we will see how that pans out longer down the line). but yay go me! Unforunately, we lost though so like UGH.

During immunity i approached alyssa and jack about a trio, who could control the tribe as i knew we would be high scorers and i genuinely like the two of them. also made sense becuase i sense we are the 3 most active. Karthik, who scored only 2 in the challenge, is probs the target due to inactivity LOL. tobi and mo i also like, but bodhi remains a mystery to me. might be a timezone thing idk but still. a tad worrying that i dont know him as well as i would like.

One World does my head in but im trying to talk to everyone. i've learnt though i need to make connections on my tribe first and foremost as they r the ones who vote, not people on other tribes. god i do hate one world tho. i want to be napping, not messaging people

think im gonna be in an alliance?? on day 3? is this a joke? literally winning...................  wow....

I usually make videos but today I am lazy so hello. So One World is ass because I don't want to talk to everyone but these people are crackheads so like I guess. Uhhhhh I'm in an alliance with Jack and Matt because I adore them both greatly. Mo is on my tribe which is so nice because we have played together before and he has such fun energy and is just a ray of sunshine so I'm very happy (although he makes me nervous cuz the last game we played together I killed him for no reason basically.... But I don't think he's the vengeful type). Tobi makes me nervous because I think he is a social king and I mean like... Idk I guess there are a lot of very social players which makes me nervous that I would be pushed out for maybe not being as social? Idk if that makes sense.

But anyway Karthik is also on my tribe and I was like OF COURSE. Because this is the man from my season who I cursed out via DR video for flipping on me LOL He is a sweetie though. I recently looked and saw he was rooting for me a lil in a game I was in which is really nice of him, especially seeing as I didn't vote him to win our season. I think he's going to be first boot. He was on vacation this weekend somewhere where there's no wifi (that's what he told me) and only sent in two things for the scavenger hunt, dooming us to a first tribal. I feel somewhat bad but have told people on my tribe that if not for Komnata's twist of the season he would've been out pre-merge easily because his overarching challenge performance is not great. So basically just reiterating to people that I'm not so sure that this was a fluke and overall I think it's probably just best for us to cut him.

Yeah that's it. I have so much crackhead energy from the games I've been playing as of late I feel like I majorly need to chill the fuck out. Here's to praying.

so everyone’s kinda agreed on voting out karthik due to him only scoring two points so I’m like ok cool i’m down but then karthik made an alliance chat with bodhi, matt and myself asking to be saved and

https://i.imgur.com/AxCzqxd.gif?noredirect

Sooo im making this last minute confessional to tell ya that I THINK im in a good spot. Im sharing my idol guesses with Stephen Z and Jared which is helping me build trust with them. I also have mutual trust with Kori. Maynor and Rhys are kind of boring tbh so hopefully they go soon. Bryce and I never seem to have good conversations so idk where his head is at. IM JUST HAPPY THAT MY CURSE OF ALWAYS GOING TO THE FIRST TRIBAL IS FINALLY LIFTED. I WONT BE FIRST BOOT YAHOO

Short and sweet, glad to be back, beast moded another selfie scavenger hunt. Got a good tribe, I think, couple of good friends, couple new people, at least one I think obvious boot should it come to that, but here's hoping it won't. Not a lot of players from my season so hopefully there won't be too much bad blood coming into this. Shoutout to Chloe Bryce and Tobi who are apparently contractually obligated to be in every fucking game I play on Facebook and associated communities for the rest of my life. 21 people is a lot to get through so I'm just hoping for merge, then we can go from there.

Well let's give confessing on my phone a try.

So far I feel like I've been making decent strides conversing with everybody. It's kinda weird how much I like everyone on this season. Its gonna make being a snake harder but I cant afford to blind myself I'll have to do whatever I'll have to do to hopefully win again.

I've made a sort of trio deal with Bryce and Chris as we're all former winners. I'd have included Kavish but we're all predicting he's more than likely the first boot alarm Tina. I'm growing closer to Zach and Clohie on the outer tribes. Also obviously still have my Bodhi connection. I'm talking with just about everyone a bit. Though I cant shake the feeling there is someone I've missed.

I am concerned not being in any sort of majority alliance on my tribe, so if we do lose that's worrisome but still not being the first boot is a huge relief for me, and hopefully there is only good for me going forward. (I say as 4 people probably plot my demise.)

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Karthik is voted out 5-1-1.