#they make me both happy and gender dysphoric

[sparkles-oflight]

Bro, how do I get Jan and Kris' genders?

[claypigeonpottery]

I'd love to hear you expand on your thoughts about gender and deer antlers and also introduce the aspect of caribou antlers to the conversation. Both males and females have antlers but the males drop them in the winter because of the weight while the females keep theirs until the new set pushes the old set out.

I have a lot of thoughts and none of them really go anywhere but I’m happy to expand

it’s funny, I was thinking about caribou while I was making this brown clay deer-person. I didn’t want the antler to read as caribou, it was more just turning thoughts around in my head

I imagine if we had antlers, culturally it would be considered masculine (likely even for those—like caribou—where everyone can grow antlers and shed them at different times).

it made me think about gender being seasonal, with the growing and shedding of antlers.

it made me think about how tender and sensitive antlers are when they first grow in, covered in velvet. is it like menstruation, a gender-specific thing that’s painful or uncomfortable for awhile?

it made me think about losing an antler accidentally, or removing them. or only removing one. or just cutting off a few tines. what would it signify? how would it feel?

do queer deer (lol) notice each other because of how their antlers look, recognize each other as queer?

would a doe feel relieved when it’s time to shed her antlers? would she dread growing new ones? would a buck, any buck, feel dysphoric, feel a loss, when he sheds his?

I don’t know, I’ve just been having the gender recently. so obviously I had to pass that feeling on to my little sculptural creatures

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Aug 11th

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1. Hi guys! This will probably I think goes in the fic finder.

So all I remember is wangxian had gotten together, it was post cannon I think? And they go on a hunt together along with Jiang Cheng or maybe they meet Jiang cheng on the way but either ways, things go wrong and the demon slashes wwx's neck and somehow they all fall down a cliff where lwj and jc try to keep wwx alive.

Thank you!

FOUND? The Warmest Hands by AvoOwO (M, 46k, wangxian, JC & WWX, WWX & LSZ & LWJ, major character injury, hurt WWX, blood & gore, heavy angst w/ happy ending, blindness, PTSD, alcoholism, fights, JC & WWX reconciliation, non-sexual intimacy, tenderness, WIP)

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2. Hi! I hope you are doing well. Please help me find this fic. Wwx erased himself and travel back in time. Wwx saw his parent and they have a little bit conversation, such why the couple never had a child or something. I remember there is a scene where wwx ask ‘how do you know I’m your son?’ then I think csr said ‘I always recognized my husband face everywhere’.

Please help me. Thank you!!!

FOUND? This unrolled threadfic by cerbykerby (WIP)

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3. For a fic finder:

It was during an AU version of the sunshot campaign where people thought that WWX and YLLZ were separate people and LWJ had fallen for both. LWJ decides to gently let down YLLZ but realizes that the two are the same person because he played/recognized wangxian. Thank you for all the help you provide

Number three on the current finder “The Scarlet Lotus” is wrong, the fic im looking for was a one shot. Thank you for the suggestion, may read the suggested fic later to try it out

NOT FOUND The Scarlet Lotus by rainbowninja167 (M, 137k, WangXian, Marriage of Convenience, Secret Identity, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical war crimes, Yunmeng Bros, the mortifying ordeal of getting seduced by your own husband, nonlinear chronology we die like cql, just kidding nobody dies in this fic, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication)

FOUND! Found the fic, it’s Lan Wangji and the Love(s) of his Life by baobeibaobae (T, 4k, WangXian, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Kissing, First Kiss, Marriage Proposal, Love Confessions, Happy Ending, Oblivious WWX, Flirty WWX, Jealous LWJ, Courting Rituals, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, JC is a Good Bro). Thank you anyway and have a nice day

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4. Hello! I'm trying to find this fic where WWX was transported into the body of a female Mo Xuanyu and promptly feels dysphoric about it. When LWJ finds him and takes him back to the Cloud Recesses, he helps WWX feel more comfortable and even allows him to change Mo Xuanyu's name into something else. Somewhere by the end of the fic, it's revealed that the reason why LWJ knows so much about "gender cultivation" is because he himself is trans and found ways to help himself transition.

I can't find it anywhere and I don't wanna lose hope in case it's deleted. Thank you for your help!

FOUND! In Reflection, Truth by Shadaras (T, 55k, WangXian, WWX is summoned into a woman's body, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Gore, this is a story about being transgender, Dysphoria, Misogynistic Slurs, Ableist Language, it's not slow burn if it's going to be faster than canon, Trans Male Character, Trans wish fulfillment, Canon Divergence - Yunmeng Brothers Have A Real Conversation)

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5. Hii hope you're having a good day!! I was wondering if you could find a fic where wei ying gets his original body back, completely unrecognisable, and decides to stroll around gusu in lan zhans clothing. People see lan zhan and wei ying together and assume that wei ying is a new consort. They later go together to a conference meeting where everyone gets mad because they think lan zhan is cheating

FOUND? Is Your Old Body Considered a Halloween Costume? by The_peregrine_falcon (G, 3k, WangXian, WWX's original body, Junior quartet makes an appearance, LQR's blood pressure is going up, LWJ is chief cultivator, Fluff, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon)

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6. Hello! I sent in this ff a couple months ago with no luck. Hoping to try again to find it! The fic was set during the Cloud Recesses Lectures era and WWX was cursed to lie. Everyone else mistakenly thought he was cursed to only tell the truth, so when he says things like “I hate you” they believe it. WWX gets really depressed that everyone believes that he doesn’t care about them. The curse is eventually broken when LWJ realizes it is a lie curse not a truth curse. If this sounds familiar at all please let me know!

FOUND! A Kiss of True Love to break a Curse by Wangxian101 (T, 5k, WangXian, Teenage Wangxian, Not Canon Compliant, kiss of true love, curse of lies, truth curse, Angst, Fluff, When the only way to break the curse is to kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Teen Angst, They are in love your honour, Oblivious WWX, Oblivious LWJ, there is only one brain cell in this group and it belongs to JC, LXC is the biggest wangxian shipper, jc is a good bro, Love Confessions, Getting Together, Gremlin WWX, Happily Every After, LXC will gut anyone who hurts his precious little brother, True Love’s Kiss, JC is an awkward bean, LWJ POV, WWX POV, WWX is a closet romantic, WWX loves his romance novels, Protective JC, JC loves his gremlin brother, Unrequited Love, Requited Unrequited Love, it all works out in the end)

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7. About 4-5 years ago I read a fic where WW awoke as a god of luck/fortune/fate after the siege. He ends up saving a-qing and she ends up following him after "fixing" XXC's soul, as well as XY's soul being stuck in a sword. God!WWX also ended up saving MXY too. The fic is also very long. the first couple of chapters are average length, but the last few are between 30-70k each. @annacakes2

FOUND? despite it all by novalotypo (T, 292k, wangxian, canon divergence, god of luck WWX, memory loss, non-linear narrative, WIP)

FOUND? Wuqian, the Local God of Yiling by Grace_ShadowWolf (TaubeLePigeon) (M, 80k, wangxian, WWX & LSZ & LWJ, major character death, canon divergence, angst w/ happy ending, god WWX, Chinese mythology & folklore, pining, temporary character death, WIP)

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8. looking for a fic where jin zixuan is a demonic cultivator? it's an au or canon divergence fic where it was him who got the sword in xuanwu. appreciate all the help you give us <3

FOUND! no step had trodden black by Stratisphyre (T, 32k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, JYL/JZX, canon divergence, madam lan lives, past rape, golden core reveal, hurt/Comfort, referenced to attempted suicide & suicidal thoughts, canon-typical violence) most likely not this one, as JZX doesn't go full modao (or even guidao) in it, but he does certainly pick up the sword and is influenced by it; just in case this IS the right one, tho, JZX's bit comes up in chapter 3

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9. Hi! This is for fic finder. I dont remember much because i read that around 3 years ago. I hope this is not a mix between wo fic. I think its an arranged marriage story between Wangxian. Every month WWX leaves CRRS to visit the wen without anyone knowing but LWJ (i think he noticed) because LWJ make some arrangement that allows WWX leaves anytime he likes. 1 month and WWX still come back. Just like the following months until LWJ noticed WWX is not coming back. I think before that the two of them has a fight (? Not sure about this). LWJ search for WWX and found him. Instead of make his presence known, LWJ follows WWX in secret. WWX noticed of course and ignore LWJ. A few days like that and WWX relenta and calls LWJ to follow him without hiding. Thats all i can remember. I dont know if its an ao3 fic or thread fic. Thank you @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

9 is right. For the first half is right (wwx leave every few months) but not the second half (LWJ followed wwx while hiding). I think i mixed two different fic. But the "Light of Stars (and the Destroyer)" Is the one i meant. Thanks

FOUND! 🔒 Light of Stars (and the Destroyer) by Sanguis (T, 22k, WangXian, Legends, Arranged Marriage, Pining, Pining for your spouse, Adoption, Canon Divergence, Married Couple)

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10. hello! i was hoping you can help me find this fic where jiang cheng finds wwx’s journal in the burial mounds and he ends up experiencing(?) the events there. i read it ages ago and can’t find it. thank you!

FOUND? Waiting On You by SmellsLikeDeanSpirit (M, 26k, JC & WWX, WangXian, WIP, Graphic Depicitions of Violence, Major Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Memories, Time Travel, Sort Of, the characters watching the show trope but different, WWX has magical diaries that force the reader to experience his memories, JC finds them and reads them, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Bashing, Bad Parent YZY, YZY Bashing, Canonical Character Death, he comes back tho, JC regrets, JC Needs a Hug, WWX Needs a Hug)

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11. Thank you for all the work you do!! I've been driving myself crazy trying to find this fic. All I remember is one scene. At the Jin banquet, Jiang Cheng allows (sends?) WWX to dual Jin What's His Face. WWX obviously trounces him, but nearly has a flashback, prompting JC to pull him back when he realizes that maybe sending his traumatized brother into that situation wasn't the best plan.

It was either a canon diversion or a JC goes back in time fic, but I can't remember which. It was relatively long and it isn't recent.

Ring any bells for anyone? Thanks!! @kirk-spock-in-the-impala

FOUND? Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It) JC went back in time and he realized his mistake about the skirmish like right after it happened. The part that they are looking for is in chapter 2.

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12. Hiii thank you so much for the hardwork you do and I enjoy the fics here. I haven't seen this in fic finder yet. I remember lwj leaving gusu for yiling he brought his own money and it was used to buy food and stuff I think. By the end they sell at the market with kids styling lwj hair and gusu saw this the elders was mad mad with the vanity. Lxc asked for bunnies cause the ones in gusu dissapeared(. Thank so much be well.I wrote this today and there was error if there is two pls ignore 🙏) @ladyxyraine

FOUND? 🔒 Share Your Silence series by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (E, 138k, WangXian, Romance, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence, LWJ Has Feelings, Protective LWJ, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, WangXian in Love, YLLZ WWX, Lan Clan Elders are Assholes, Minor Transgender Character, Qiongqi Path Divergence, LWJ loves his bunnies, Explicit Sexual Content, Burial Mounds, OCs, Drama, NMJ Qi Deviation, Awesome WQ, The Wen Twins, Wen JunZhu | MinYue (OMC), Wen YanJeng | MinYi (OMC), Fluff and Humor, WWX Has Feelings, Lotus Pier, mention of non-con roleplay, Sexual Roleplay, NMJ Needs a Hug, Nie clan sabers, baxia, Unclean Realm, Protective NHS)

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13. Hi im looking for a specific fic. The fic was on ao3 and was a modern au where Wei Ying realizes he might be a bit gay and kisses lan zhan but then freaks out, and they get a bit awkward. He then goes on to forums to see what others might think of his situation, he tries watching gay porn etc. and finds that he's dreaming of lan zhan. He ends up being jumped by homophobes goes on a drinking binge for the next few days as a result and hears that lan zhan has been staying in his room and hasn't been doing well, wei ying thinks it's because he kissed him but later finds out he sent lan zhan a homophobic message when drunk. Any help would be appreciated!!! @livesformitski

FOUND? it's always open by ScarlettStorm (E, 60k, WangXian, Modern, vague north american setting, First Time, Getting Together, Pining while fucking, Some angst, Happy Ending, not straight boy WWX but not NOT straight boy WWX, not practice kissing but not NOT practice kissing, that feeling when you know you're making bad decisions but keep making them anyway, LWJ FUCKS, Sexual exploration, demi WWX, not that he knows that yet, Kissing, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, confused but enthusiastic consent, WWX's not sure about all his options but he's got the spirit, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, truly absurd amounts of naked pillow talk, switch rights)

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14. Hi!! Thank you for all you do 🫶

I’m looking for a fic that was on ao3. It was one where I think WWX was brothers with Hua Cheng and Luo Binghe and I believe he was a god or something of higher power and as a trial he was born as the WWX we knew and he went through everything he did in canon. When he died he ended up back with Hua Cheng and Luo Binghe but LWJ couldn’t move on and he tried to find him there?

Thank you for your help!! @bigmeatycl0ws

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15. Hi! Kindly help me finding this fic. Wwx teaches the lan juniors to solve arrays. He makes it diffucult to solve so that he can have time with his husband. I think I remember they was a scene where JL ask the Lans how they can easily solves the arrays and then got jealous when he learn it was wwx who taught them.

FOUND? 🔒 A More Practical Approach by Elhana (T, 9k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, Teacher WWX, Humour, POV Multiple, Implied Sexual Content, when you just want to get frisky with your hot husband but your in-laws crave their peace and quiet, huge conflict of interest right there, WWX is resourceful, wuxia magic shenanigans, Post-Canon)

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16. Hey, this is for the fic finder!

I'm trying to look for this specific Lan Xichen/Nie Mingjue fic where NMJ gets reincarnated as NHS' cousin's son and promptly falls in love with LXC all over again. I can't remember the title and I've been trying to look for it so I can reread it ;w; I think Age Difference was tagged and there's scenes where LXC tries to dissuade NMJ from getting together but in the end they get married and NMJ recovers his memories from his past life.

Thank you in advance ;w;

FOUND? Song of us by Ziane (E, 142k, LXC/NMJ, JC/NHS, Post-Canon Fix-It, Explicit Sexual Content, Reincarnation, Happy Ending, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Soulmates References, Pining, Canon-Typical Gore, Novel Spoilers, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Flirting, Implied LSZ/LJY, Porn with Feelings)

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17. Hi!! I’m back with another request!

It was an ao3 fic where WWX had left the cultivation world behind because he/she (there was a male and female version I believe) was pregnant with A-Yuan and Jingyi and he/she wanted to give them a better life. LWJ does find them eventually (he’s the father) and he gets to meet the kids. They end up staying together and raising the kids there after LWJ fakes his death @bigmeatycl0ws

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18. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where LWJ and WWX have a sex and a love confession during the sunshot campaign. LWJ visits WWX during one night and asks to let him help WWX with his health after using demonic cultivation. WWX , in a fit of rage and a desperate act to drive away LWJ, behaves crudely and proposition him.... I think the name of the fic was "fool for you"? I'm not sure.

Thanks in advance! @grrumpywoof

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19. Hey! Thank you so much for your hardwork 😊😊

Im searching for a fanfic which is completed

Yu ziyuan is present in the sunshot campaign and wwx invents turtle shields. Yzy tries to show wwx as a traitor but fails.

Can you please help me in finding this fic?

FOUND? Lessons relearned by Iamnotawriter (T, 44k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inventor WWX, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, No Golden Core Transfer, YZY Bashing)

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20. Hello! Could you help me find a fic where pre sunshot campaign ends up in a room to watch the future and 4 juniors from the future join them. The main pairings I remember are Wangxian where Sizhui is there biological child. XiCheng Jingyi is their biological child and of course XuanLi with Jin Ling. No one believes them until they pull their parents swords from their sheaths and explain because Wangxian and XiCheng have high cultivation Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng got pregnant. @megdbrew

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[dykeulous]

LISTEN TO DYSPHORIC VOICES

can non-dysphoric people stop speaking over dysphoric people? this goes both to non-dysphoric radfems, non-dysphoric tras, and non-dysphoric trans-identifying people.

why do some non-dysphoric radfems think they have the right to claim dysphoria isn’t real/stems strictly from socialization/societal pressure/is never innate etc.? i think i know myself better than that. i have always had sex dysphoria. we don’t know why & how dysphoria develops. i have later developed social dysphoria as well, which was due to socialization, societal pressure & gender being forced upon me– however, sex/physical dysphoria isn’t the same as social dysphoria; and it’s anti-intelluctual to claim dysphoria is the same as any other form of body dysmorphia. they keep telling us to just shut up & love ourselves, but they don’t realize that it’s not as easy as they make it seem. i also think it’s very debilitating when non-dysphoric radfems constantly tell me transition isn’t the only solution. i know it isn’t, and i encourage bringing awareness to other ways of easing dysphoria, i encourage bringing awareness to the potential risks of transition, and i encourage therapy before hrt/surgery. but if someone genuinely believes transition is the best solution for them, nobody should harass them for it. after all, radfems are supposed to be advocating for bodily autonomy, no?

why do so many non-dysphoric tras think they have the right to redefine our existence? the first step to accepting being trans & bringing about our liberation is to recognize who are: we are dysphoric. dysphoria is a neurological problem. we cannot progress in any way, shape, or form, without firstly disclosing that. dysphoric people constantly get erased. the first step of erasure is redefining set definitions, ignoring research & revising history. old school trans people would be devastated if they had the opportunity to see where we are right now. dysphoric people have been pushed to be leaders & icons of queer capitalism, without our consent. we are being used as weapons against homosexuality. we are being exploited by capitalism, the market & the media, our bodies are being commodified, and trans-identifying non-dysphoric people are appropriating our movement.

trans people of the 80s would be so disappointed if they saw how easily we lost the forefront of our own activist movement. any trans-identifying person who claims that this trans joy would follow up simply if dominant social structures were destroyed, is probably a non-dysphoric person using the trans identity as an aesthetic. they aestheticize our suffering & then speak over us. so many people are using & appropriating our labels as a “fuck you” movement, as a way to battle the cisheteropatriarchy ( @tirfpikachu expands on it), which would be fine if they didn’t consistently shun actual dysphoric people down & actively choose to support our erasure. i don’t really believe that identifying as trans is an effective way to battle the cisheteropatriarchy, as it can lead to the formation of actual dysphoria, and those people tend to be misogynistic & bio essentialist anyway– but that is a matter of perspectives, and as an actual dysphoric person, i just feel genuine jealously & anger at the people who took the forefront of our movement while not having to face half the challenges we do.

they tell us that we can just be happy & that we would be if social norms no longer existed– but they are saying that only because it applies to them; after all, they are just gender non-conforming people, who would probably contribute more positively to the fight against the cisheteropatriarchy if they just stayed gender non-conforming people, instead of using trans identity for it & then speaking over actual dysphoric people. i’m not going to be all pessimistic now, or say that dysphoric people cannot ever find happiness (by transitioning or simply finding other ways to deal with dysphoria, or healing– which is, by the way, possible– if any of you cared to listen to detrans voices, which i know you don’t– not all detrans people are “cis people who just made a mistake”), and i do understand trying to cheer dysphoric people up, telling us that there’s nothing damaged about us & that we can have fulfilling & happy lives– but selling this fallacy of dysphoric people suffering only because of the discrimination we face is harmful.

if we no longer faced systemic discrimination, we would be able to express ourselves more freely, that is true, yes (which is why i love gender acceleration); but we would still face multiple challenges. see it like this: if mental illnesses such as bpd, schizophrenia, npd, aspd or c-ptsd were destigmatized, and if they no longer faced medical discrimination/if doctors no longer used saneist & ableist terms to refer to the disorders & the people who have them– the people with said disorders would face significantly less challenges, but that does not mean that their inner battle would end. as an autistic transmasc, i was always able to see the connection between my dysphoria & neurodiversity: but those unwilling to listen to me will just shout “don’t group us in with those neurodivergents!”– like. damn. just call me the r slur at this point? if non-dysphoric tras actually cared to listen to us, they would see how this analogy is useful, but given that they’ll just call me a transphobic trans person– they will simply say that i’m claiming dysphoric people are inherently doomed. we aren’t, but we will be, if non-dysphoric trans-identifying people keep taking the lead of our movement. stop erasing us. listen to our voices. stop weaponizing our pain. stop turning our movement into a pseudo-religious spiritual thing.

it all goes back to the same thing: non-dysphoric people will never understand dysphoric people. both non-dysphoric tras & non-dysphoric radfems (and no, not all of them, this is aimed at those who are) tend to be largely made of gender non-conforming people who, for some reason, believe that they have the right to speak over us & reassure us that dysphoria isn’t as debilitating as we make it out to be, simply on the basis of them being gender non-conforming. they are, in essence, arguing for the same argument, despite constantly steering fights against one another. stop speaking over us. listen to dysphoric people, listen to those who have & those who haven’t transitioned, listen to those who are no longer dysphoric & listen to detrans people.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

I have 2 separate questions that are unrelated but share a subject matter.

Would a woman omega or trans man omega who was infertile/sterile be allowed at Hillview?

And 2) Have you thought or would you ever write an mm pairing where one of them was a trans man?

I'm trans masc and I find it so hard to find good trans fics that deal with trauma recovery or aren't just pwp. And I love your writing so much that if you ever decided to write a transman fic I'd literally cry from happiness.

So, I was going to write a big long world-building response to this but instead I'm gonna take it back to something personal - you're asking me to consider worldbuilding for and writing for stuff I feel pretty dysphoric over in my personal life. I go out of my way to really, really avoid writing heterosexuality of any kind for a start, so I don't want to think about all the fringe cases where I can make heterosexuality possible at Hillview or the sister site. That's just...icky to me.

As for trans folk, being that I'm also transmasc, I'm mostly team 'if you want to see it happen you can write it happening. I have zero problems with that. But there's stuff I'm not writing about either for reasons relating to dysphoria, or for reasons relating to 'this is not actually why I enjoy writing in the first place.' This is why I don't do self-inserts, for example. I don't like seeing myself in my own stories, I prefer seeing myself represented in other stories.

So -> If other folks want to write it, they can! If they want to solve those worldbuilding issues, they absolutely can! If they want to write fic about it, I'm gonna set off a confetti cannon for them in celebration.

In terms of worldbuilding, the answer would just always be: It depends. If you want to find the fringe cases then sure, there would always be exceptions! But if there was any chance of fertility/pregnancy with their companion, then no. So it would absolutely need to be not just a hormonal transition (a lot of things can impact consistent hormonal uptake and I think omegaverse hormones in the Underline universe would actually impact them a lot too), but one that covered bottom surgery as well.

Is that like, a problem in honouring someone's gender? Absolutely!! The Underline universe isn't perfect. But preventing pregnancy is their biggest concern at Hillview and the sister site. I know in regular/standard ORFs, they only care about the fertility issue, and care about literally nothing else, and yes, that can be a huge issue re: trans folk. This world is a dystopia, it doesn't pretend to be anything else.

The fun thing about fanfiction, is that other people can erase all of that with a sweep, come up with some magical contraception, and just make it happen. :D

As a transmasc person myself, I have stuff I just don't like writing. Just like everyone else does. You are absolutely welcome and completely have my blessing to imagine whatever you like for Underline, to write it in fic, to daydream about it, to bend and change the rules that already exist or to make up new ones that don't exist yet, that work for a world you want to read about.

But for me...it just comes too close to 'if I have to change or figure out these things I also have to think about how to set up 'woman omega and man alpha' heterosexuality and I just don't want to.'

I'm so sorry anon. I'm going to circle this one under competing needs. Sometimes the thing another person needs to find gender affirmation, is the thing that will harm another person's experience of their own gender, even if that gender shares the same general name, even if that changes down the track. (This is how we get some trans people who hate genderbending in fic and say it's dysphoric, and other trans people who love it and say it's affirming. It's true for both, neither should impose their views on the other).

The TL;DR being: I write what I want to be writing. If I'm not writing it, and have never written it, it's because I don't want to write it. In the matter of heterosexuality: zero interest, I'll leave that for other folks. In the matter of being trans, dealing with my own gender stuff irl is already a nightmare that I don't want to have to write out a version of that again in fiction, because I can't live it twice, and I don't like writing fluffy stories.

[nekoning]

honestly i love every shen yuan trans hc I've come across so i kinda hc as every identity ever lol but for today I'll share my personal favorite one (?? which i relate to a bit bc i love to project

so thinking about shen yuan who was transmasc in his original life, even tho he's wealthy, and his family is loving they don't rly support him in that sense, and he dies and transmigrates before he can medically transition. He had complex feelings about getting gender envy from binghe and also feeling attracted to him, which he completely suppressed bc he didn't want to "seem like a straight girl" and he wasn't gay either, no way, he just admires binghe.

his username is also a way of compensating dysphoria and an easy way to get people to gender him correctly online, he also feels weirdy understood by airplane (who is also transmasc) which he will never admit, there's little hints here and there in pidw about how he views gender.

when he finds himself in sqq's body (i like both the idea of sj being trans or cis) he feels quite comfortable and at ease since he passes here and sqq's identity is respected. but despite all of that, when the wife plot starts hitting him he feels dysphoric again, which confuses him bc he's supposed to be "fine" now but these roles being forced on him make him uncomfortable. After the novel's events tho he slowly starts rediscovering femininity and the wide range of roles he can take, and he realizes he actually doesn't hate the idea of being binghe's wife, he accepts his own motherly instincts and stops repressing his complex feelings about gender.

sqq realizes he doesn't really hate the idea of being any gender in particular, but rather having it be out of his control and it being forced on him. When he realizes that, he's free to accept himself however he feels like being that day, he also develops a very "mix and match" attitude with gender, doesn't really care much about labels just about what makes both him and binghe happy. sqh is relieved that he's finally laid-back about it, but still teases him

bonus: transmasc binghe isn't the most popular but he's very dear to me, i like to imagine sqq teaching him everything he learned in his previous life

[cookiewrites]

bang chan with a trans masc boyfriend

please enjoy these sfw/nsfw thoughts about bang chan, featuring my gender crisis. these are based on my experiences/hopes, and may not match every trans-masc person's - and that's okay!

wc: 1k

cw: bang chan x trans masc/afab! reader, mentions of dysphoria (various forms) and transition, no transphobia, brief mention of misgendering (no one actually misgenders reader), name for reader (baby, boy, boyfriend, pretty boy)

sfw

i have no doubt in my mind that chan would accept you being trans - whether you came out before you met him or whilst dating him. but let's talk coming out; he wouldn't have a learning curve, there'd be no slip ups or small mistakes. it would be an instant shift, and he'd make sure it would be the same with the kids. even if you weren't ready to tell them straight up, he'd let them all know that you were trying more masculine things and they'd just follow his lead.

he'd let you borrow all his clothes, of course. not even in the possessive my boyfriend is wearing my clothes way although yes that as well but so you can try out different styles and have access to a full wardrobe of masculine clothes as you built up your own. tbh i think you'd end up sharing a wardrobe with him from then on, it's your joint wardrobe, easy as that. he'd instantly turn compliments from beautiful to handsome, or whatever would make you comfortable. suddenly you're his prince. sometimes you'd forget you were ever not out to him.

telling him for the first time was hard, you couldn't stop crying and you were so scared, hiccupping over words and telling him over and over that it was okay if it stopped him loving you and how sorry you were and- 'you know i love you, right? and i love that i have a boyfriend now, if that's the term you're most comfortable with. either way, baby, 'm going nowhere, and i'm so so proud of you for telling me.'. he'd hug you close, too, squeezing you tight as you calm down, reminding you over and over how much he loves you as you are.

you'd expect at least a discussion and questions, and maybe him to need some time and maybe take a break and maybe break up with you and maybe- 'god i was so worried you were going to leave me, baby boy, i'm so glad this is all that's been wrong'. he's so happy that you're not going anywhere he can't stop smiling. yes he has a boyfriend, and yes it's a change but you're still his! before you really have time to grasp what has happened he's covering you with small kisses and reminding you how much he loves you.

if someone were to misgender you he'd be quick to correct them, never making a big deal out of it, just interjecting with the right pronouns or terms. if it was one of the kids he'd pull them aside later and remind them to try harder - not that they'd need it, he taught them all better than that and they'd be so happy to have another guy the group, for some of them another hyung.

he already knew a bit about being trans, but he went out of his way to research everything he could, and the ways he could support. you'd often stumble across open tabs when borrowing his laptop or visiting him in the studio. the consideration to not expect you to do all the emotional labor of explaining things the internet could easily tell him. he'd look into chest binding and medical transition in case you ever wanted to, he looked up ways to help dysphoria so you wouldn't have to teach him. he wanted everything to be as easy for you as possible.

would 100% help you with your dysphoria by almost playing dumb to what's making you dysphoric. like he wouldn't even acknowledge your chest being anything but a chest, changbin has a bigger chest, so do you, it's the same. he's not tall, and he's as much of a man as you are. dysphoria where? dysphoria what? you're just as masculine as the rest of them.

'they're just jealous i have the prettiest boyfriend' he'd whisper to you when the kids would tease you both for being so loved up. every time he says that word is makes your heart skip - he says it with so much love.

nsfw

additional cw: mentions of chan bottoming, reader receiving oral sex, reader's parts referred to with the term dick, mentions of chan giving a blowjob, praise/dirty talk

i think chan could have a relationship without sex, he would never expect or push a partner and it is as fulfilling with or without for him. that being said, sex is something chan loves; the feeling of closeness, and trust, and love. the way he loves making a partner feel good, and loved, and cared for. he is such a soft dom, and just wants to make who he is with feel good.

so when he put together that your reluctance to have sex may come from your dysphoria he starts helping you over that; and make adaptions to intimacy to make you the most comfortable. don't want to take your shirt off or wear a binder? absolutely fine, let's make sure you're safe but you never have to be naked around me. don't want penetration? amazing, chan loves playing with you in whatever way makes you feel good. want to top him? oh please, he'll be good for you and really loves whatever toy you want to pick. want him to refer to your parts with masculine names? 'god your dick is perfect baby, fuck, it's so pretty'

he's so into you that he will do anything. there was one time he gave your strap a hell of a blowjob, just because you'd mentioned in passing how frustrating it was not getting to see him like that. even the way he does go down on you changes, with or without going on t, chan gives you head instead of eats you out - there's this masculinity in the way he treats your body.

the praise during sex is always incredible, and we are all in agreement that chan is talkative during sex. he doesn't always expect a reply but simply loves telling you how incredible you are. it's through this that you find just how good it is to be with someone to truly sees what you are;

'oh pretty boy, god you're so good for me'

'f-fuck you're so deep baby, so b-big, fuck'

'i don't think i'll ever get over this dick of yours baby boy, fuck, it's just perfect'

[itsjaywalkers]

Hii

What would James’s do to help reg when he’s feeling dysphoric? (Could be boxer or oby- you decide:) )

/dysphoric trans guy in need of fluff

<33

hi angel!! sorry it took me a bit to get back to u, i always wait until i have some time + mental energy to reply to any asks about hcs

oby reg and boxer reg are quite different when it comes to dysphoria and how they deal with it + how much or how little they allow james to help so i'm gonna do both at the same time <333

fluffy-ish hcs coming right up !!

oby reg can be more?? emotional?? about his dysphoria. when he's just mildly annoyed by it, he usually just becomes uncomfy, but when it actually hits he unconsciously seeks comfort from others (as in . ppl he trusts/is very close to). it used to be sirius but now he also has james <3

this mean he quite enjoys cuddles!! not with a lot of skin on skin contact, bc that just kinda . triggers him more?? but he goes for like . big jumpers and comfy sweats and drags james to bed with him!! depending on his mood he prefers to be the big spoon or the small spoon, but the point is that he needs to be very close to james and james is more than happy to glue himself to reg

boxer reg however turns into himself?? he becomes quiet and distant and isn't always okay with physical contact

that's why boxer james resorts to words <3 he makes sure to remind him how handsome he is, how loved, how sexy he finds his facial hair (while trying to convince him to grow a moustache), how good he is at fucking him and how obsessed james is with his cock etc etc

with oby regulus there's also a lot of body worshipping!! not at first, bc like i said, and when his dysphoria is at its worst, reg avoids skin on skin contact as much as he can. but when he feels better about it, james spends hours kissing his naked body, whispering compliments and sweet nothings and paying attention to every single detail

this isn't really sexual at all, and more often than not, it just makes reg tear up in a good way bc he feels so !! incredibly loved and appreciated that he gets overwhelmed (again, in a good way)

in the boxer au, james is more prone to acts of service?? kinda?? he's aware that reg doesn't want to be extra aware of his body so he focuses on . taking care of him in general, distracting him a lil, making sure he's comfortable and relaxed

he draws baths for him whenever he gets home from work, does the chores reg dislikes the most, cooks him his favourite meals, gives him thorough massages when he looks especially stressed or tense

in oby, despite reg being a lot more reliant on physical touch than interviewer reg and actively seeking it out, he also appreciates words of affirmation <3 james leaves him these sweet little notes filled with lovely statements and reminders all over their flat and drowns him in compliments when they're together!! he also sends him texts when he's at work

boxer james isn't as touchy bc interviewer reg doesn't really enjoy it when he's feeling like this HOWEVER there's a lot of like . casual contact?? brief and careful but also firm and intentional. a hand on the small of his back, a gentle squeeze on his hip, a caress on the side of his neck. little ways in which james reminds him that he's there always and he can come to him whenever he feels ready and that he isn't going anywhere

oby james does a lot of research on trans ppl and gender dysphoria and hormones and surgery and transitioning bc his knowledge is limited and he wants to be there for reg in any way he can!! they sit down and talk about it whenever reg is up for it and feeling well enough to speak about his struggles and how it feels and what he needs from james <3 james holds his hand the whole time and squeezes periodically and listens very very attentively, taking lots of mental notes. tells him how proud he is of him and how strong he is <3

boxer james is a lot more experienced in this field bc he's been with trans ppl and knows quite a lot on the topic + he's familiar with reg and how he deals with his issues so they don't talk that much about it but there's a lot of?? silent communication?? james gives reg space when he's aware that that's what he wants while being There at the same time yk?? he doesn't insert himself or interrupt when pandora or evan or both come over when reg is having a especially hard time but he's ready to hold reg when they're gone and he's Focused so he can read him correctly and give him what he needs

oby reg is quite spoiled, and hence all the jokes about james being a sugar daddy, and this also comes into play when his dysphoria gets worse. james has always been big on gifts but when reg isn't feeling okay he goes a bit . overboard . as soon as reg looks at something for a second too long james is getting it for him. it exasperates reg to no end but he also finds it incredibly endearing + he knows it's one of the ways in which james shows his love so it always cheers him up

interviewer reg is more logical and . harsh about his dysphoria, maybe bc he's a bit of a well-known/public figure and he can't always afford to break down or show any weaknesses especially in front of ppl who can and will use them against him. and it can be hard when his job also forces him to deal with a lot more transphobia for . obvious reasons . he tends to repress his struggles a lot which is also why he's more prone to isolating himself and distancing himself

james Knows and Understands this, which i've already mentioned, and he gives him space when he truly needs it BUT he can also be a bit stern when he notices reg is going too far or like . harming himself in the process of protecting himself. he'd never overstep or be cruel or pushy about it, but he's firm in his gentleness and tells it like it is. reg really appreciates this about him, and sometimes he needs the reminder that he can lean on james whenever he needs to

when it comes to sex in oby (and reg has been struggling with dysphoria), james checks up on him a lot while they're at it, and he also makes sure every single time that reg truly wants it + is in the mood. he's also always ready to stop at the first sign of reg being uncomfy or not enjoying himself

he also exclusively uses masc terms for reg's genitals. he's aware that he doesn't really mind, and it's one of those things reg has been confident about for a while, but it helps when reg is feeling bad or wrong about his body. he focuses a lot more on reg's pleasure too, and that's saying a lot, considering he already prioritises it over his own

in the boxer au, there's a lot of topping on reg's side. they don't switch as much as oby jegulus, due to preferences, but when reg is feeling especially dysphoric james bottoms A Lot. and they both enjoy it SO MUCH even if james keeps acting like he prefers topping a lot better bc he's annoying like that

interviewer reg takes full control but james doesn't give it up easily, which reg Loves. james knows he needs that fight and that he needs to win it fairly, so he resists all he can and doesn't go easy on reg At All. he still loses every single time bc reg and his strap always turn him into a begging sobbing mess, and james is obsessed with how rough reg can become

and that's all <3 i hope it was what u wanted, or that u at least liked it <3 sending all my love MWAH

[shrimpmandan]

It's always been so weird to me that people are all about ideas such as "language is made up, words evolve, everyone has a unique sexuality!" when it comes to lesbians and asexuals, but when it comes to bisexuality, the conversation suddenly becomes "actually this term has a rigid definition and if you identify with it, you're transphobic and behind the times"

And like, bi history is a massive interest for me, right? I'm not gonna claim to be a historian, but the amount of people who say shit about bisexuality that's just plain incorrect is insane.

Bisexuals have always shared spaces, terms, and community with lesbians and gays. Many bisexuals called themselves lesbian or gay prior to coming out, and many of them hold onto both labels-- thus bi lesbians and bi gays. Hell, I fucking identify as bisexual and gay simultaneously. I think I always have. The fact that I would only get significant flack for this if I was a bisexual woman identifying simultaneously as a lesbian is fucking insane. "Dyke" and "fag" and everything in-between has always been inclusive of bisexuals. Bisexual butches, femmes, twinks, bears, and everything in-between have always existed.

Bisexuality has MULTIPLE definitions. Not just historically, but person-to-person. I know bisexuals who are attracted to people regardless of gender or sex. I know bisexuals who only date cis men or cis women. I know bisexuals who have fucked women but only date men and vice-versa. I know bisexuals who have even more esoteric and specific orientations, such as only dating men and trans women, or only dating women and trans men. And regardless of how you feel about any of those, they are still bisexuals. Those are still forms of bisexuality. It is an orientation that is inherently varied, and has become increasingly so as the arbitrary, rigid lines between male and female have been weathered by the sands of change.

Hell, people LOVE that one post about a bi trans man identifying as both a butch lesbian and a gay man-- and I get it. I could never personally-- it'd make me VERY dysphoric-- but I never much cared for the dynamics of opposite sex relationships. It's something that's very awkward to navigate as a bi trans person. Subconsciously, I've always entered same-gender relationships. Back when I still identified as a bi woman, I dated and preferred women. Now, as a bi man, I largely date and prefer men. And yet, being aspec, I'm also indifferent to most people sexually. Simultaneously, everyone is hot and everyone is meh. Not repulsive, just meh. It's a weird reality to live. Effectively, I fuck or date people regardless of gender. If I'm feeling fancy, I define my bisexuality as being attracted to both types of sex characteristics regardless of their configuration-- explicitly inclusive of intersex and trans people.

And yet people still refuse the variance of the bi experience, whether it's bisexuality as neutrality, bisexuality as "every relationship I'm in is gay", bisexuality as in "I don't even really think about the gender/sex of who I'm attracted to", or anything in-between. Bisexuality is oversimplified as "attracted to two or more genders", or "attracted to both genders/sexes", as if those definitions fully encapsulate the bi experience when they don't. Plenty of bisexuals absolutely fit into those two definitions, but to act as if ALL of us do, to deny the rich history and variance of bisexuality, has been a deep-rooted and recurring problem that loves rearing its ugly head every damn year.

Happy Pride Month.

[drdemonprince]

Hi Devon, I feel very similarly about my gender as you’ve described feeling about yours. I’ve been on T for a couple of years and am about to start changing my legal documents to M/male name because I pass as a man and want to make my life bureaucratically easy and not have to out myself to employers etc. However, I feel a lot of trepidation around doing so because I don’t have a stable male identity at all and it’s likely my presentation will change again at some point. (I guess I could change everything again if that happens but that sounds labor intensive and horrible lol.) Keeping my current info or changing it both feel dysphoric. Do you have any advice or experience on this?

I'd say you don't have to put much stock if any in how the government categorizes you. Granting them the ability to track you as a trans person is always a liability and it doesn't imbue your identity any legitimacy at all. Only you can do that, largely by developing a supportive community. If you want to change it to make your life easier in your current presentation, that's a real factor to consider. You don't have to believe the lies you tell the government.

That said, I feel good about continuing to have a "male" designation institutionally since I have already done it. It doesn't matter how I feel in my heart, a piece of govt paperwork has nothing to do with that. Professionally and institutionally being a guy has worked out really well for me. I'm happy with he/him pronouns, as well as it/its and the gay she. In public life it's pretty great to be read as a guy. The immense male privilege is a relief from certain dysphorias and just makes life easier. For me I feel like who cares if it reflects some inner truth. If I can get away with reaping the benefits and good feelings of being a "male" while presenting in a way that feels more feminine and comfy for me that would be yahtzee. But who knows, life is nothing but change.

[fruityracoons]

hi so i just found your blog and i was wondering if you could make a post about how you realized you were gender-fluid and/or signs of being gender-fluid? i'm really confused about my gender rn and i think reading something by a gender-fluid person would help clarify things for me. thanks!!

hi! absolutely! if you have any specifics you can always ask again, or if you wish to talk to me directly, my dms are open! <3

when i was younger, i transitioned to enby. i felt very comfortable and safe in that identity, and would dress and present incredibly fluidly.

as time went on, i started to feel more masculine.. and i got on T, and cemented myself as trans masc. during both of these times, i struggled with identity- as i felt i had to owe some amount of femininity or fit perfectly in what it means to be a "man." it was troubling- for a long time, i felt an incredibly large amount of shame for just existing as a trans person.

then- again.. i started feeling enby again! and it confused me. i thought i was just hiding from one identity or the other, maybe i was just gender non-conforming- but i wasn't. i had recently discovered genderfluid again- i knew what it was, but i thought it couldn't be me, i don't feel like a girl ever! ... and then it hit me, i don't have to feel feminine to be fluid in my gender. i feel my gender change kind of like emotions- like when you're really happy or mad and you and your body react accordingly- that's how i realized my gender was fluid. this could also mean dysphoria or euphoria waves correlated with certain expressions and terms- one day i could love he/him with all that euphoria- the next it could be dysphoric. i change pronouns accordingly!

tumblr blogs helped too! my favorite being @barbthebuilder , that was crucial in my growth. my egg was pretty recently cracked- but it's been helpful. things ive done to help with this journey is have my sibling check my gender daily- and we'll go over pronouns and how it feels. today i felt masc, but enby- annd like sour candy. (weird ways of describing! but it gives me a connection and fun to it) and they always help me with that. also affirming clothes and hair.. over long periods of time by gender goes in stages. it'll be overall something, but can still flow day by day, and that's okay!

being genderfluid is beautiful, and only you can define your gender. meaning, if you feel it's fluid- FUCK STEREOTYPES YOU'RE GENDERFLUID !! (if that's a label you'd like to use :3) lmao this is so wordy 💀 ily, you got this!

[damnfandomproblems]

This is the person who wrote fandom problem 3657 about gn!readers

Love how everyone assumed I hate gn/nb!reader fics rather then taking five seconds to think and realize that I hate the fact no one tags them -_-

I'm not mad that people are making gn!reader fics--make them all you want, if if makes you happy then hell yeah keep doing it--I'm mad that they won't show and ounce of consideration and just tag the fucking thing as a gn or nb!reader! I have to fight every goddamn day to get people use she/her for me because people will constantly undermine my gender and use they/them instead as a way to advoid fully calling me a women, so yeah, they/them pronouns being used to refer to me in any way is triggering because they are used to constantly to misgender me!

I am not asking people to stop making gn!readers, I am asking people to tag them! How the hell does me complaining about people not tagging their shit correctly in anyway make me a bad guy?

"Oh you're a loser!" HOW!? I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO READ X READERS WITHOUT GETTING SUICIDAL BECAUSE NO ONE WARNED THAT THIS WAS OR TAGGED IT AS A GN!READER!!!

WORSE YET SOME PEOPLE WILL PURPOSEFULLY TAG IT AS A FEM AND/OR MASC READER BECAUSE IT CAN "be read either way" or "it's gn so it's technically both"!!! How the hell am I suppose to avoids those!?!?! Why should I be expected to magical know and avoid those fics rather then the writers being expected to just tag it as a gn!reader???

"Oh but how do you keep reading so far in if it causes you dysphoria" a causally use of they or them is fine, but once I realize that's all that is being used, I feel like stupid idiot who just been misgendered for the past X minutes that I was reading and was too fucking dumb to realize it, and that is what makes me dysphoric! It's the realization itself that cause the dysphoria, not the actually reading of it!

I lost count of how many times i went into a fem!reader x fem character tag only to realize that it's actually a gn/nb!reader x fem character fic and get so upset (because y'know dysphoria is inherently a nonsense but extreme uncontrollable feeling but go off on how I'm over reacting, it really helps /tone tag:fuck you), and have to go on a walk so I don't hurt myself because I despite looking into the fem!reader tag, blacklisting nb/gn!reader tags, I still got some prick decided to post their gn!reader fic untagged and unwarned in the fem!reader tags because its "inclusive"

Guess transfems who have dysphoria over being misgendered with they/them pronouns constantly shouldn't be reading x readers though, my fucking bad. how dare I want people to just tag their shit correctly though, so lame and selfish and weak of me. So fucking lame and childish of me for not feeling included in these 100% amazing "inclusive" fics and wanting them to be tagged

Fuck all the pricks who help confirmed my beliefs on how fandom refuses to accept "undesirable" queers. God forbid not every trans person is comfortable with they/them

Just fucking tag your gn/nb!readers, I'm not a bad person for wanting that

And in advance, double fuck you to anyone who still wants to agrue about how inclusive gn!readers are and that it isn't a big deal when they're untagged because they're so super duper inclusive even though they are often dysphoria inducing and unavoidable when not tagged. shit in your hand and swallow it asshole

Posting since this is a response to a previous problem.

[jell-o-mel]

Warning: TAWOG spoilers

Ok so, as a huge TAWOG fan and multigender person who relates a lot to Gumball, I have no idea how I didn’t see this sooner. Hear me out on this, ok? Gumball has always shown that he has no problem expressing his feminine side and even enjoys being a girl and feels happy as a girl (as shown in The Dress and when he pretends to be Muriel). Now, a binary, non-dysphoric transfem may show indifference towards being a boy, but Gumball shows happiness being a boy.

That alone is pretty much evidence but I also wanted to explain how I see Zac and Muriel. Both Zac and Muriel had their own episode, both ended with Gumball learning a lesson and realizing that being Zac *or* Muriel wasn’t something that would make him happy (in this case, Zac and Muriel represent his male and female sides respectively). Multigender people often get told to choose one gender, but Gumball couldn’t. Being just Zac or just Muriel wouldn’t make him happy, which is why he is Gumball instead.

I have no idea if this makes any sense because it’s late at night and I’m tired but it’s just something I thought of. It’s just a silly little headcannon I thought of so obviously don’t take it too seriously but it makes me happy to think that Gumball is multigender because we don’t get much rep.

[bell4lan]

Comfort

Genre: Fluff, angst, comfort

DNI: NON-MLM/NBLM, fujoshis, mlm/nblm fetishizers, trans fetishizers

CW: Gender dysphoria, dysphoric thoughts, insecurity

Character(s): Albedo, Trans Male Reader

Albedo was currently packing a bag, filling it with clothes and other necessities he would need. He was doing this because you hadn't come to Dragonspine for a week, and Albedo was very worried. You usually visited daily, so your absence was noticed immediately. Albedo only waited so long because he had remembered you saying you'd be busy this week, but you hadn't even sent him a letter. His mind was filled with negative scenarios in which you were hurt, but quickly brushed them off as he head out to the city.

The reason he packed a bag was because he was going to stay with you. No matter what reason you had, he wasn't going to leave your side. Albedo wasn't really one to express such cheesy emotions in public, so no one really knew just how much he felt for you. No one knew how clingy he was, how he always felt the need to protect you, to be by your side. Albedo was deeply in love with you, so your distance from him was making him feel uneasy.

Eventually, he made it to your door and knocked on the wood. After a few minutes, nothing happened, so he knocked again. After standing there for a bit, he was doubting you were home, that is until you opened the door. You looked incredibly tired and your eyes were red. Had you been crying?

"Albedo?" You asked in a sort of tired yet surprised tone. You saw the bag and wondered if he had business in the city.

"I apologize for showing up without warning, but i've been worried about you." He spoke softly, caressing your cheek. You looked at him, feeling guilty about not telling him why you haven't been going.

You grabbed the hand on your cheek and held it. "Please, come in. I'll explain everything." You mumbled, he nodded and walked in, following you to your bedroom. You both sat down on your messy bed, still hand in hand.

You sat in silence for a moment, Albedo moving his thumb comfortingly on the back of your hand. You took a deep breath to calm yourself before you spoke. "I haven't been going to Dragonspine because...I simply don't have the energy to. I've been feeling really bad lately, mentally. It's kind of made me lazy and tired. I'm sorry for worrying you." You explained as tears filled your eyes. Albedo was quick to wipe them away.

"Oh love, i'm so sorry you've been feeling this way. Did something happen?" He asked in a gentle tone.

"I've...been feeling really dysphoric lately. I hate how I wasn't born male, I don't feel like a true man. I just feel like a fake...I don't even understand why you're with me. Wouldn't you want a real man?" You started to sob harder as you spoke, tears flowing down your face quickly.

"(Name), you are a real man. No matter what your dysphoria tells you, you are. You have decided that you are a man, so you are one. End of story. I know I don't know how you feel, but I truly do believe you are a man. You always have been, and you always will be. You're my man, my boyfriend, nothing will change that." Albedo tried his best to be comforting and truthful. He wasn't sure of what to say, he had never really had to deal with this before, but he hoped he helped a little. Everything he said was the truth, and he hoped you'd believe him.

"Are you sure?" You asked between soft sobs.

"Of course I'm sure." He whispered as he wiped your cheeks. You continued crying, though it was a lot softer, and Albedo stayed with you the whole time. He felt guilty, like he should be able to do something to take this feeling away. All he wanted was to take your pain away and make you happy again.

Once you stopped crying, Albedo gave you small kisses on your hands and face, making you laugh softly. "Thank you Albedo...I really appreciate you being here for me, and I'm sorry I worried you." You said, giving his hand a squeeze.

"There's no need to apologize, I understand you weren't feeling well enough." He said and kissed your cheek. He let you rest your head on his shoulder as he rubbed your back slowly, both of you enjoying the comfortable silence.

"If you'd like, I could try to come up with ways to make you more comfortable with your body." Albedo said. You looked up at him, eyes slightly widened.

"Really? I don't want to cause trouble."

"It wouldn't be any trouble at all, it just might take a while if that's okay with you." He reassured.

"Of course that's okay. Thank you so much Albedo!" You gave him a tight hug before kissing him gently. You were so happy to have someone like him by your side, how'd you get so lucky?

---------------------------------------------------

Sorry this isn't any of my requests, but I haven't been feeling well for a couple weeks so I made this for...myself. I was going to include more characters, but I got lazy.

I hope you guys can maybe find comfort in this too. ^^

[dykeulous]

Twilight is the absolute opposite of your exclusionist views she's the literal princess of bringing people together no matter who they are or identify as.

We are supposed to be brothers and sisters, why do you shun your own family?

twilight is the princess of friendship. twilight is inclusive, yes, but she also fights against discrimination, she fights against oppression, she fights against evil– and if necessary– she uses force, and she uses justified violence. that is not the reason i always found myself relating to twilight, both as a child & now– she is generally the character i can relate to the most, out of all shows i watched. that is because she puts other people’s (well, pony’s in her case, lol!) needs above her own, because she fears failure, because she used to think academics were #1 & is/was introverted (tbh i think she remained quite an introvert despite leaving her “friends are not important” past behind), because she has a figure of authority she looks very highly up to, because of her sassy & sarcastic nature in s1 & s2– and also because she is rumored to be autistic. which, well, as an autistic person, i definitely can see.

i do not “shun my own family”. i love trans people. but the difference between you & me (most probably), i also love all dysphoric people, even those who aren’t trans-identified, and i do not believe they have any less of a say. i also love detrans people, i don’t mock their experiences, i don’t laugh at them & say “haha that’s what you get for being a cissie who made a mistake haha!”. i love detrans people who healed their dysphoria, and i love detrans people who still are dysphoric. but, unlike you, i do not think “my family” is above criticism. unlike you, i do not believe “my family” should be able to do whatever they want without consequences. in fact, i think the whole shtick about “family” is cringe to hell & back, because “my family” excommunicated, or, well, disowned me. i still love all trans people dearly, but i will not consider the trans community “my family”, because the trans community treated me with utter disdain & hatred, made me afraid and paranoid to voice my own opinions & feelings, and never allowed me to question anything. the trans community generally seems to refuse to acknowledge the fact that dysphoria (can) be neurological, and i do believe that the largest reason as to why they are acting like this is exactly because they have severe neurological/mental health issues, and they think simply acknowledging this fact is discriminatory, bigoted, offensive, violent, whatever. instead of recognizing that they have a neurological problem, they want to beautify their illness, and they do that with engaging in neurosexism, creating “gender souls” & spiritualizing the hell out of their illness. this is unhealthy, and allows them to simply lay comfortable with both their illness & with the way the system is. a lot of people with mental illnesses romanticize their illnesses, and they do this as a coping mechanism– but the bigger problem here is that the trans community not only romanticizes dysphoria, they also make it out to be inherently progressive & inherently status quo-breaking; which could not be more wrong, especially given the fact that their ill way of thinking & behaving also causes them to act exactly against progressivism.

dysphoric people feel immense pain daily, a lot of dysphoric people spent years wondering & pondering questions such as, “why am i like this?”, “why am i in pain every day?”, and, instead of joining support networks & doing therapy (non-affirming or affirming, and also not only therapy regarding their dysphoria, as many trans people have problems with mental health besides dysphoria, and a lot of them tend to develop other mental health issues because of their dysphoria), they come up with such conclusions that make the most sense to them, and that they seem to like & be happy with the most– “i am literally born in the wrong body”, “i have the brain of the opposite sex”, or even the extreme, “i am actually, truly, really fe/male, i just produce the wrong hormones and have the wrong body type”. this is unhealthy, and not only do they internalize such unhealthy & harmful ways of thinking, they label anyone who does not bend to their will as bigoted & transphobic. they beg the law to bend to their will, as well, and so anyone who doesn’t conform to them will be a perpetrator of hate crime. transitioning, in this way, becomes not only one solution to dysphoria, it becomes the only solution & is presented as such– which harms dysphoric/trans people the most, and which is why detrans people have such a hard time readjusting. the trans community encourages black-and-white thinking & discourages critical thinking, outcasting their own members for daring have differing opinions.

i believe that i have the right to speak up about the ways this community, or how you call yourselves, “my family” has treated me, and many other dysphoric & trans people. i believe i have the right to bring awareness to it, and i believe my voice deserves to be heard. i don’t care how you personally feel, because facts will always be above feelings, and law should never be based on someone’s feelings. so, yes, i am aware that my beliefs & views will hurt some trans people on a personal level, but it is not my fault that they believe anyone who doesn’t conform to their “happy shiny milk and honey” ill way of thinking, is an evil bigoted transphobe. something hurting someone ≠ something being wrong, something hurting someone ≠ something being inherently discriminatory, bigoted, and derogatory. i will be willing to engage with the trans community again, only when it stops barking “traitor 🤬🤬” every time i do try to engage.

[rabbitbonesandsheabutter]

Okay okay feel free to ignore this if you’re not comfortable writing about it BUTTT how do we think things would go with Dale having a transmasc s/o???I’m soooo gay for him I literally need him sooo bad

You and me both, anon <3

I think Dale would’ve grown up in a time and probably place where his interests and look meant he was seen as a huge freak, so he wouldn’t be particularly judgemental of anybody else’s appearance, gender, or sexuality. He would actually like if any of those were outside the norm in his partner, it makes him feel slightly less out of place, definitely still thinks you’re the more normal one though.

He’s not very sensitive in how he words things (and he’s old), so he would ask awkward questions at first. You can tell it’s not malicious, he just wants to understand and feel closer to you and they get fewer over time. He’ll definitely say something about getting the ‘best of both worlds’ at least once, but tell him that’s weird and he won’t do it again. He’d also still want to call you pretty and beautiful as well as handsome. If you told him you didn’t like it, he’d want to meet halfway and call you his pretty/beautiful boy instead.

I also think he’s pretty flamboyant and most of the people he looks up to would be too, so it wouldn’t change his view of you as a man/masc if you were as well. Or it makes it kind of easy for you to come off as more masculine compared to him, even with his size and build. I don’t think he’d have much toxic masculinity going on, so he wouldn’t mind either way.

Always very perceptive of your mood too, he’ll pick up on any tells you have for when you’re feeling dysphoric and be really quick to reassure you. Although if you get top surgery while you’re together, he’s gonna be really dramatic about mourning the loss of your biddies but he’ll get over it pretty quickly, more occupied with the extra time he gets to spend with you helping you recover, and happy as long as you’re happy. Even though he’s not a fan of boundaries, he’d be pretty accommodating if you ever had bottom dysphoria too. As long as he has a hole to fuck when he wants, he’s good. And he’d love it if you wanted to strap him, it might get him to chill out a bit. You have to shower him in praise after, tell him how good he was and baby him.