#they like. snatched his waist which is throwing off the balance of his whole design

[imagingchamber]

why is he proportioned like that in nwos. what did they do to him.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Ridiculous Groupie Things Diane does to Hobie @ Shows (aka, Hobie realizing how much misogyny Diane goes through)

[This post is about my Spider-sona Diane Pastors, aka DiscoSpider, aka Hobie's number one fan. Their relationship status is officially groupie and guitarist.]

She owns a number of clothing that she wears only to his concerts, usually to annoy others

All of which Hobie loves. A couple are:

Of course, her signature guitar pick chain

A pair of booty shorts with 'HOBIE' bedazzeled across the ass

A number of shirts with his autograph, usually band tees from his tour

One of his spiked cuffs (he doesn't know she has it. yes, he's looking for it)

The most transferable lipstick she owns. She digs in the bottom of her makeup bag to find the one that smears the most and leaves a mark.

Hobie looks cute in kiss marks

A pair of Pleaser Brand stripper heels. Spider-balance means you'll never catch her tripping

At 5'11 - Any heel over 6 inches makes Diane taller than him, which Hobie ADORES - and he tells her this. He loves a stallion.

So she'll where 8 inch Pleaser heels, so she stands over the crowd. You WILL see her from the stage she's like the only chick in here that's 6'7"

But Hobie still carries a spare pair of shoes. He'll give her his chucks - or if she drukenly begs, his boots, and he gets to walk around holding the world's tallest heels

Fuck it, it'll just swap shoes with her and put them on. He's standing there in heels while she's in his boots talking about how her feet hurt

She wears one of Hobies shirts around a belt loop.

Hobies likes to throw his shirt off stage.

Fans love fighting for that shit like it's a wedding reception and he's throwing the bouquet

But here comes Diane-

She's 6'7" in heels and RIGHT next to the stage - so she's always catches it. Snatches that shit right out the air. Full on interceptions.

And of course the other fans get pissed, because sis you already have his pick what more do you want

Is he aiming it in her direction? Or does she just know which way he's gonna throw it??

Who cares - either way she got it and will wear it on her waist the whole night. It's debatable if she even gives the shirt back to him. Only if she doesn't like the design that much

She always asks him what he's wearing so they can color coordinate

Gets annoyed when he shrugs and goes 'idunno was just gonna pull something on'

Cause Diane has to carefully algorithmically put together outfits like she's Cher from Clueless

She uses the Lyla in her watch for fashion advice even though Miguel tells her that's not what Lylas for

(Diane: but look at her little coat and glasses and stuff. She knows what she's talking about)

Meanwhile Hobie can pull on ANYTHING and it'll come together like Alexander McQueen rose from the grave to construct it himself

She gets his autograph every time

She'll wait in the line like everyone else - she doesn't care

Hobie laughs every time she makes it to the front

He'll be ready to thank the fan and sign the photo only to look up and Diane's standing there - big ass smile on her face

Drunk, 6'7" like "Awwww I'm your biggest fan, I'm so happy to meet you, I love you so much AH 👅

She's constantly caught by security who thinks she's just a rabid fan that snuck in

And she HATES bouncers with a passion. Like a vendetta against them irregardless of universe

It's a personal thing (they never let her into the Disco clubs before she turned 18. So she hates them, even though that's their job)

BUT NOW she looks at bouncers like 'im taller and stronger than you so don't put yourself between me and my man cause GOOD LUCK brotha'

Hobie has to step in all the time and break up arguments to tell security that yeah there's rabid groupies backstage that need to be taken care of

Except this one, this one he specifically knows already - she's fine

But there's some she's cool with

Some bouncers that know her face and guitar pick and let her through right away because she buys people drinks and she's a friendly drunk

It's not rare for Hobie to walk by a bouncer and have them say 'Oi, Diane's looking for you.'

She talks up every guitarist in the venue. Featuring Artist or an opening act? If you're a guitarist GREAT

it's like she spawns next to you like a COD lobby

Half the time she catches them off guard like

Guitarists in the circuit know about her. She's THE GROUPIE.

Like the Godfather of Ginessing Guitarists

It's helpful that Hobie always knows when someone is talking about Diane.

He's heard it all - The groupie chick, the guitarist girl, or his favorite - "Hobie's girl."

One of the only times he doesn't correct people on that.

Because he knows they don't mean it like that, they just know that Diane is here for HIM, and she's his plus 1.

If you perform after Hobie - tough tiddies. She's leaving with him.

Shoot your shot before he gets on stage and DO NOT try and talk to her during his set.

All the guitarists know about her - and yeah she'll fuck them but they better know come Saturday she's gonna be at HOBIE's show goddamn it

Don't be asking her to come see you on show night she's gonna look at you like 'absolutely not. actually you're ridiculous for asking lose my number'

It doesn't come without it's slutshaming

And that's what surprised Hobie so much.

He knew about sexism OF COURSE but he just didn't realize how quick people are to just go there - for no reason.

Diane LOVES fellow groupies, but some don't love her. A small percentage.

And it's been a couple times Hobie's heard one call Diane a slut or bimbo under their breath. He seen girls outright call her a bitch.

There's been girls who try to trip her, or spill drinks down her dress, or get her kicked out or something

And Diane usually has the same response : "Can't wait to tell Hobie about this after I fuck him. AGAIN."

And if you don't like it - talk to this Daiquiri in the face cause she's throwing her drink yfvlhvjlj

She's not fighting anybody - for their sake. She has an unfair advantage being both pretty and semi-superhuman.

But Diane is more likely to be wounded by it if it comes from a girl. She's not taking any shit - but she's like 'Damn sis we could've been besties.'

But it's the dudes that get Hobie really heated, and it makes his skin crawl

Dudes who ask him questions, ask if Diane is easy or how many times they shagged. If he thinks they have a chance at getting her in bed, what she's willing to do

Sometimes dudes make the mistake of thinking Hobie is a safe space for sexist shit like that - HE ISN'T.

Sometimes they just say the most vulgar shit about her, or what she's wearing, thinking he'll be like 'i know that's right bruv'

NO.

Hobie isn't one to violence when someone is simply being a dumbass, but he will quickly tell them that if he catches dude around her, he's gonna ruin his mfing night

Hobie isn't possessive or protective of Diane by any means

But he hates people who take her for an idiot - just because she's enjoying herself. Especially guys who only see her as a little groupie bot that dispenses sex and attention

He's seen her defuse bombs and shit on missions. She's so much more than that

And Diane tells him to ignore it, or even better, laugh at it. That's what she does

Diane has been dealing with it all her life - being taken for one-dimensional, or worse, dumb

Sometimes even Miguel or Jess treat her like she's nowhere near as smart as an average Peter.

And sure it hurt sometimes, Diane would love if she could come up with plans or gadgets like everyone else

But she's realized that whenever she's called things like a bimbo or a groupie, usually the people who mean it hurtfully are just as one-dimensional as they think she is

She figures if these people lack the self awareness to see her for who she is, she already has an advantage on them

Sure, she wishes she could be the 'professional, respected' woman like Jess is. But then she thinks for more than two seconds

Then realizes she loves sparkles, and dancing, and funky basslines and fruity cocktails and pretty boys.

And all of that makes her way happier than all that stuffy shit

She likes being a groupie. She LOVES it.

The way Hobie smiles when she compliments him, doing her makeup in bar bathrooms and feeling the excitement backstage during soundcheck, or waiting in line for autographs with the Lucky Charms

Always making her way to the front row and looking up at him, seeing his eyes search for her in the crowd

And when they're eyes meet, it's always like she's back at her first time at a show.

She wouldn't do it if it didn't make her happy.

And that's why Hobie loves it too.

No matter how 'weird' someone may think it is.

She's not hurting anybody, she's just being happy.

She's showing her love for him - and she's not letting anyone stop her. And he loves her for it.

Every guitarist needs a great groupie.

BONUS:

Rockstar things Hobie does for Diane @ Shows

All the bartenders know about Diane. It's the first thing Hobie does.

And when she arrives, she always gets Daquiri's on the house. Courtesy of the guitarist.

He always gives an encore.

She'll always be cheering for one - and who is he to let his groupie down

He's always sure to play her favorite songs again

and he ALWAYS gives a solo. (She goes Miguel Mode everytime)

Diane picks every single.

It didn't start out that way, but Hobie found he loved songs a lot more when Diane couldn't get them out of her head

When she went around the boathouse humming a chorus or repeating a lyric

or outright GUSHING about how cool the song is, how awesome he'd look on stage playing it, which of his outfits goes along best.

And every time she says it's her favorite, he can help but make it a single.

He always wants to make the songs as catchy as he can, just to hear the sound of her singing them when only he can hear.

[sunflowergirl522]

Fuck You Dameron!

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Prompt: We’re both moving into the same apartment with a mutual friend of ours but we didn’t know each other and it’s dislike at first sight, but now we’ve got to live together

Word Count: 3285

Warnings: language, drinking, sexual themes

Masterlist

***

“Buddy!” Poe brings Finn into a hug as his friend greets him outside their new apartment complex. Finn had finally decided to move out of his college dorm and get a place of his own and Poe always told him that if he went through with it he would move in with him.

This was the only real bright side to his day, his now ex roommate had thrown a fit because he was leaving before they found anyone else to move in. He had given them a two weeks notice that he was leaving and that should’ve been enough time for them to either find someone or figure something out money wise. Poe had said something to them about them getting off their lazy ass before he left causing them to throw some of his things at the door, breaking a few photo frames in the process, while he packed his car up.

“Your bed was delivered yesterday, I put it in your room.” Finn rubs the back of his neck, which is something he tends to do when he’s nervous but Poe just brushes the act off as move in jitters.

“Wanna help me with these boxes and I’ll order some pizza?”

“We already have food on the way so you don’t have to order anything.” Finn stacks up a few boxes and starts to carry them towards the entrance of the building. Poe follows behind careful not to drop anything and calls out for BB to follow behind them. The orange and white corgi yaps and runs ahead to the door ready to see their new home.

“So how did you find a place that’s so big yet affordable?”

“A lot of research and some help.” After Finn unlocks the door he waits for Poe and BB to head up the stairs to shut the door behind them. Upon walking in you can see straight into the dining room and the living room. Finn steps out of the way to allow Poe and BB enter so he can close the door behind them. Finn then motions for Poe to go into the room next to the stairs. “This is your room.” They both put down the boxes in hand. “You want the grand tour now or after you unpack?”

“Show me around I’ll have time later to unpack.” They both leave the room and Finn points to the two rooms down the small hallway between the stairs and rooms.

“The bathroom and then my room.” They continue into the open design of the living and dining room. “Out these doors is the balcony.” Finn opens the glass doors and Poe steps outside to see the view.

Poe is about to say something when a female voice rings out, getting closer as she comes up the steps. “Finn are you home? I’ve got the food!” Poe looks to Finn waiting for an explanation for who that could be.

“Yeah, I was just giving Poe a tour.” Finn goes back inside and Poe follows close behind to the kitchen.

“Oh so the famous Poe Dameron is finally here?” There’s humor in your voice and you look up from unpacking the takeout to see Finn and the man you can only assume to be Poe in the doorway. “Hi I’m Y/n. I only ordered for me and Finn but I’m sure there’s enough Chinese for you too.”

“How considerate.” Poe mumbles it under his breath and rolls his eyes. You hear it whether he meant for you to or not.

“Excuse me? I don’t have to offer you any of it.”

“Oh no.” Finn knows how sticky this situation could get. Poe’s already in a bad mood and you’re so headstrong that he sees it getting ugly fast. He goes off in his head imagining all the ways it could go wrong and figuring out how to fix it. He’s in there for so long that when he comes back to real life it’s already the worst case.

“Maybe if your head wasn’t so far up your ass you’d see that I’m trying to be nice!”

“Maybe if you weren’t so dimwitted you’d offer to make me something to be nice!”

“Fuck you Dameron! Finn if you need me I’ll be in my room.” You grab your food and a bottle of vodka from the closet and go to your bedroom slamming your door behind you. You don’t know who that man thinks he is but living with him was going to be difficult.

“I have a bed to build, I’ll see you tomorrow Finn.” Poe heads to his room feeling slightly guilty for how he acted.

“Well that went well.” Finn sighs before sitting at the island and eating his food alone.

***

A week passes by and you avoid Poe as much as one can while sharing a living space with each other. You’ve been civil with him, making sure there’s enough food for him when it’s your night to cook, asking if he needs anything when you go to the store, and not stealing BB away from him all the time. You’ve become enamoured with the corgi and you constantly spoil him rotten.

Sure you butt heads with the man still but you both try to limit that around Finn. He wants so desperately for the both of you to get along and that works out in your favor sometimes. The other day you had been arguing over who’s turn it was to do the dishes when Finn got home asking what was wrong. You were quick to tell him that Poe had oh so nicely said he’d do them. Poe had just forced a smile in your direction and agreed to do them.

You’re sitting on the couch with BB watching The Simpsons when Poe gets home from work. You glance over the couch at him and he goes straight to his room without sparing you a glance. BB yaps in excitement at seeing him and jumps off the couch to run to his feet. You smile at the way a smile spreads across Poes face as he crouches down to pet the cutie in front of him. It quickly fades away when he gets up and turns towards you. You quickly refocus your attention on the show hoping he didn’t notice you staring.

“You’re watching this again?” He hops over the back of the couch and lands next to you.

“It’s called binge watching. What, have you been living under a rock?”

“No, I just prefer adult things.” He snags the remote from the table as he speaks and you snap your head towards him.

“Don’t you dare.” He keeps eye contact with you as he smirks and speaks into the remote to change the show. You lunge at him to fight to get the remote back. “You always do this.” You stop halfway in reaching for the remote in his outstretched hand and look down at him. In your battle for the remote he had gotten knocked over and you’re now straddling his waist. His face is just inches from yours and if you lost balance you’re sure your lips would touch. Footsteps start coming from the stairs and the two of you shoot apart. You can feel your face burning up and you refuse to look at Poe.

“You two are unusually quiet. What happened?”

“Nothing, I was just about to take BB for a walk.” You can feel Poe get up from the couch and snatch the remote from the couch to continue watching The Simpsons.

“Wanna join me?” You look over at Finn who’s in the kitchen putting groceries away.

“I’ll make some popcorn.” He beams back at you excited to be somewhat back to normal since Poe moved in.

***

The sound of Taylor Swift surrounds you as you listen to your sad bitch hours playlist plays through the speakers. It had been a rough day, a customer yelled at you and right before you got off your boss had made a move on you, and all you wanted to do was cuddle up with Finn and cry to him like the good old days but he was out with Rose. You haven’t felt this lonely in a long time so here you are sitting on your bedroom floor a bottle of Svedka in hand and belting along to the songs playing. That is until the door bursts open to reveal a seemingly very angry Poe.

“Who do you think you are Dameron?”

“I’ve been yelling for you to turn this shit down!” He makes his way to the plug and unplugs the speaker with such force that you’re anxious he’ll pull the whole socket out.

“Well sorry, you could’ve just knocked and asked.” You stand up stumbling a bit as you feel the alcohol in your system hit you like a train.

“I tried that!” Poe hisses out and starts to storm towards the door before almost tripping on a half full bottle of tequila. He picks it up and leaves. Your anger starts to bubble at him taking your liquor. You paid for it, he can’t just take it. You follow him out and grab onto his arm to stop him halfway to his room.

“You can’t just take my drinks! Especially not straight out of my room!”

“You don’t need it, you’ve got more fucking alcohol in this place than they do in a bar!” The both of you are so into the fight that neither of you notice Finn as he walks up the stairs talking on the phone. “Just go back to your room and drink yourself into oblivion.” Poe rips his arm from your grasp and points towards the room.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Your voice goes just a little softer as you start to get a little emotional, Poe doesn’t notice.

“It means that you’re just a dumb fucking alcoholic and that’ll be the death of you. I don’t understand how Finn deals with you day in and day out.” Your heightened emotions hit you like a ton of bricks as he speaks. Your eyes brim with tears and you land a punch right on his nose before rushing to your room so he doesn’t see you cry. Poe doubles over holding his nose and he sees Finn standing mouth agape at the top of the stairs.

“You really fucked up this time Poe. I’m gonna spend the night at Rose’s, you better fix this.” Finn then heads to his room shaking his head at his friend.

Poe sits at the kitchen island with a bottle of his own scotch next to him and a half empty glass in front of him. He’s been sitting there since Finn left thinking about how much he fucked everything up. He regretted speaking the minute the words had left his mouth earlier and he knew that he deserved the punch. The two of you had just been starting to semi get along and he just had to take his anger from the day out on you. It was a nasty habit he had. He looks down at BB laying at his feet with his head on his paws. When Bb sees the attention he’s getting he sits up and looks at Poe.

“What am I gonna do BB? I’m a mess.” BB just tilts his head at him. “Don’t look at me like that.” BB gets up and walks a little towards the door to your room and whines. “Yeah, yeah I’m on it.” Poe finishes his second glass of the night and goes to knock on your door.

“Go away Dameron!” You’re laid in your bed in sleep shorts and a shirt two sizes too big when Poe knocks. You really don’t want to deal with him anymore. You’ve both calmed down and sobered up a little since the fight.

“I just want to apologize.” You stay silent waiting for him to just leave. “Can I come in?” You think about it for a bit before deciding to hear him out.

“Fine.” He opens the door and steps in closing it behind him before BB follows him in. You stand in front of him and cross your arms across your chest. You notice that his hair is messy as if he’s been running his hands through it or tugging at it, you can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to run your own hands through it. You also notice the toilet paper stuffed in his nose that’s tinted red and smirk at your achievement.

Poe shuts the door and is frozen in his spot when he sees you. He’s not sure how exactly to word what he wants to say. And after giving you a once over he realizes he might just be a little drunk as his eyes get stuck on your bare legs. His mind goes straight to your thighs wrapping around his head as he burrows between them. He pinches his leg to get his mind back to why he came.

“I’m sorry, I have this god awful habit of taking my anger out on people and I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Sure sounded like it.” You walk towards your liquor desk to make yourself a drink to get rid of whatever these nerves are in your body. “Want something to drink?”

“Ya sure whatever you’re making is fine.” Poe stays quiet while he watches you make two Jin and tonics with the ease of a bartender. ”Thanks.”

“I’m not an alcoholic, I just enjoy alcohol and sometimes need a little help dealing with things.” Your voice is soft and Poe can sense some sadness in it. You sit on your bed and look down at the drink in your hand.

“I get that. I’m really sorry about what I said. I feel really bad and if you need to punch me again go ahead.” You chuckle at his words.

“I guess you can be forgiven. How’s your nose?”

“It doesn’t hurt anymore if that’s what you're asking. I think it’s finally stopped bleeding.”

“You can go check in the bathroom.” You point to the closed door next to you from over your shoulder. Poe opens it to reveal a double sink and a mirror on the wall in front of him with a walk-in closet on the right and a bathroom on the left.

“Why do you get your own fucking bathroom.” Poe takes the toilet paper out of his nose and tosses it in the trash can.

“Easy there big guy you don’t want to get all angry again. Finn said I could have the master bedroom since I had a boyfriend when we first moved in.” You walk past him and hop onto the counter in between the sinks, drink in hand. You sip from the tall glass and make eye contact with the man in front of you. His arms cage you in as he leans on the counter.

“Had?”

“He didn’t much like that I was gonna be living with two attractive men.” The next thing you know he’s pulled you in and your lips are attached to each other.

When you wake up in the morning the night before is a bit of a blur. You wake up before Poe does and wrestle with the arm he has draped across you to get up. You’re throwing your shirt back on when he wakes up.

“What a view to wake up to.” He whistles at you and rests his head in his hand. He winks at you and you reply by throwing his clothes at him.

“Last night shouldn’t have happened.”

“Wow good morning to you too.” He grunts before getting dressed himself.

“Good morning, now get dressed and get out. Let’s not tell Finn about this so nothing is awkward.”

***

Every time the two of you have argued since that night has been solved with angry make up sex. You’ve both fallen into this fuck buddy type of relationship without even realising it. Tonight’s your chance to finally hook up with someone else as you’re celebrating quitting your job with a house party.

Poe leans on the kitchen counter watching as you grind against Ben Solo to the beat of some stupid song with a scowl on his face.

“What’s got you all grumpy?” Finn asks as he walks past his friend to get some drinks laughing at something someone said.

“I’m not.” Poe forces it out from between his teeth.

“Yeah you are.” Finn stops next to Poe and follows where he’s looking to see you laughing and having a good time with Ben. “Oh! You’re jealous!”

“What? No I’m not I can’t even stand her.”

“Oh please you guys have so much sexual tension it's suffocating. I suggest you do something about that,” Finn points to Ben whispering something in your ear and you giggling at it, “before you miss your chance.” Finn walks back over to Rose and Rey in the corner leaving Poe to think about what he said.

“I’m not jealous.” Poe mutters as if trying to convince himself it was true. He needed a distraction and Zorii walks in at just the right time.

You’re still dancing with Ben when you spot Poe and Zorii laughing in the kitchen. “You want anything to drink?” Ben just laughs at you knowing exactly why you were ‘getting a drink’.

“Y/n just let the man know how you feel.”

“As if!” You scoff and wave off the thought of having feelings for Dameron, that’s ridiculous. “I see you’ve been hanging around the drinks all night. Who’s the alcoholic now?”

“I saw you’ve been getting real close with Ben. Who whores themselves out now?” He’s referencing the time you had seen another one night stand leave the apartment and called him a man whore.

“Why? You jealous Dameron?” You lean over the island towards him and his gaze grazes over your chest.

“What if I am?” He matches you, leaning across the island as well. Zorii makes her way out of the kitchen rolling her eyes at the two.

“Well that’d be too bad. I’m having a pretty good time with someone else.” You lean forward so your noses are touching, glancing down at his lips before pulling away. Poe catches your wrist before you make it out of the kitchen. “Can I help you with something?”

“I need to talk to you.” Poe pulls you to your room and shuts the door behind him.

“What is it-” You get cut off by Poe spinning you around and pinning you against the door. “Oh, are we doing this now?” You wrap your hands behind his neck and lift a suggestive eyebrow.

“No I need to tell you something. I…” He takes your hands away from his neck and holds them while he tries to figure out how to say what he wants. “God why is this so hard?”

“What is it?” You cradle the side of his face with one hand and he leans into your touch.

“I don’t hate you.”

“I don’t hate you either, even though you’re super annoying.” You shoot him a playful smile and he frowns a bit.

“No that’s not what I meant. I mean I, I like you Y/n, I really really like you.” You beam up at him at his words. You waste no time in pulling him closer to attach your lips together.

“I really really like you too Poe. Now come dance with me, it’s a party.” And with that you pull him out of the room completely missing the goofy smile on his face.