#they just expect me to change and if i dont its my fault and i need to change

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[k0kichiimagines]

its so insane to me when i see certain women say that period leave is somehow offensive i am begging you stfu i would kill for period leave dont ruin it for the rest of us because you dont want it 😭😭

[beaniebitch69]

gross disgusting rant undermeath (sometimes i like to leave typos in just bc 🤭)

my father makes small jabs abt how little we stay in touch. its all my fault bc i dont txt back, or i respond late. thats a little dramatic but the man says he doesnt reach out to me bc it doesnt feel good to be ignored... so what ur just not gonna do anything? ill admit i dont talk or share my feelings well, but his idea of conversing is like sticking a nail thru my head. id rlly rather just ignore him...

on the tpic of him being ignored like, welcome to my world? its weird thinking back on it now bc i remember a lot of the times he gave me a boatload of attention and care, but when i did get it it was never good. never what i wanted or needed, its not like it felt bad but... its like giving someone water when their hungry, itll help, but its not gonna do what u Actually want it to do. its a stopgap at best. a childhood of that and its no wonder im weird lol

hes started calling me guy bro man a lot more since i came out (it was after this one time he thought i was correcting him when he once referred to me as man (i wasnt) and his 1st instinct was to defend himself abt how he calls "everyone" man bro guy. i think this is like maybe a subconscious punishment? (if its conscious i will take his tongue as punishment for hurting his child (honestly i should take it anyway lord knows the bullshit hes fed my brother, the idiotic jackass))) :/

i cant tell him how to love me, i doubt he would listen anyway. and even if he did listen, even if he did love me easily, i dont know that i would want him to.

[matrix-pawz]

ISTG I wanna ramble on to somebody about ghost and pals but it'd all be gibberish :/

[hanicchy]

watching grey’s anatomy for the first time and i don’t think i’ve ever hated a popular character more

[rayroseu]

I drew this for @chernabogs story Elegy !!! The way they wrote this scene was just so tender and soft, I HAD TO DRAW IT ‼️‼️😭😭🙏🏻💖💖✨✨ it was such a perfect treat considering how the previous chapters was "coarse" with how the story handled Malleus poor coping skills with loss, I love reading and rereading the chapters lol

I wishhh i was eloquent enough to verbalize how much I loved reading it 😩😩😩 The repeated questions of am i ill or that ever repeating quote that love is for the lonely then it gradually changed to its meant to be or or the way in every chapter there is always an element of Malleus wanting to get to know Yuu WAGHHHDJDBIEB JUST THE YEARNING OF IT ALL!!!!

ALSO ALSO ONE THING I NOTICED.... all the chapter names relates to a lament for the dead, and i just think thats such a devastatingly beautiful detail to add considering that even until the ending Malleus will still lose Yuu from death and he'll be alone just like how he always fears JUTSGUEGKFGDKBCHFKN i know it ended on a happy note but the chapter titles makes me think of that quote where "there WAS love but it didnt change anything" or smth😭😭😭

also love how "Malleus in a crisis" was written as well,,, malleus was so on character omfggg I swear Ames' characterization of this guy makes me feel like Yana Toboso is ghostwriting with them/lh ☠️☠️ LIKE HELLOOO the way the story sways erratically between Malleus accepting Yuu made an impact of his life and Malleus wanting to go back to being alone where he didnt know anything at all and wasn't quite in distress about having relationships, thats soooooo GOOD 😭😭💐💖💖💖 granted i cried from it though aihskwbks

Dont even get me started on the buildup????!!! and conflict that was all resolved in the final chapter was AUGHHH THATS BEAUTIFUL IM SO GLAD I CAN READ 😭😭✨✨✨ And and the realization that Malleus fears is not death but them?? Beautiful!!!!! 😭🙏🏻✨✨💖💖 Cuz really its true throughout the whole story he was more stressed that he's so attached now XD AND AND I LOVE HOW ALL THE MESSAGES(?) FROM PREVIOUS CHAPTERS MAKES A CALLBACK TO THE FINAL CLIMAX LIKEEE "He can be bold. He can be brave. He can say this.“I was not ill that night, nor are you at fault for that. I was… I am afraid." PEAK LITERATURE!!!!!!! I LOVE FORESHADOWS AND REPEATING THEMES, MAKES ME GO YELL ABOUT IT ALL 😭😭😭💖💖💖💚💚 I love the kobold on the last part as well lol he is a promoted therapist now 😭✨✨✨

also going back to the way the chapter titles are meant to be lamenting for the dead, "A new memory for each day he outlives you. He can capture those memories, store them in a glass ball so that he may watch them whenever he pleases. You will never truly be gone if you can both make it work." HELPPP THE RESOLUTION,..... AUUGHH IT MAKES ME CRY AIHWLDHOSHSK 😭😭😭💖💚💚

anyways my favorite part always ehehe grim fishing with lilia✨✨✨🥺🥺 and malleus having the naive expectation that first kiss is magical and wanting to test it out again skgixgsk😂

I love the part where Meleanor would raise an objection the moment its a human hes been contemplating about, this story just made me think.... LMAO MALLEUS IF MELEANOR SAW YOU LIKE THIS,,,, XD i feel like she'll tell you that if you fear living alone, just go out first and damned the other person about it instead JSKHDKDHHK i think it was really tragic how Lilia seemed to be set on dying for Meleanor only for the tables to turn ☠️

yes i did reference that acheswan dance from honkai star rail on lilinor part lol

[7ouls]

im REAAAAALLY sorry for the likje longest wait ever but in the meanwhile i've wiorked on my oc too so i'll prob post abt it soon. sorry if this is short or bad but it took me a long time to get motivation to write this 😓

(this isnt proofread so if u see any mistakes dont mind them i’ll correct them tomorrow cause im too tired)

fem! reader btw

Daisuke never liked to rely too much on other people, he was always told how annoying he can be so that would make him even more of a weight than he already is.

Although he can’t complain when his girlfriend is the one who gets to take care of him. After what happened at the Tulpar you could see big changes in his attitude, he tried to smile at you but you can see that it’s not the same genuine lovely smile he used to give you in the past, when he was still on earth with you.

You were his girlfriend before he got the news from his parents about the internship and no matter how much you tried to convince him to not leave he still did, promising you that he’d come back for you. He wasn’t wrong, but this isn’t what you were expecting.

He had many scars around his body, barely able to move. He was put in a wheelchair for a few months, just until the scars have healed and he could get back in feet.

Daisuke’s parents found him a therapist, ignoring the boy’s wishes not to. Because after all he had you, you were the only one who he opened up with about what happened to all of them, about how guilty he felt for them. You were the one holding him in your arms after he cried on your shoulder for hours, you were the one changing his dirty bandages but most of all you were the one that loved him.

At nights like this you liked to wait until Daisuke was sleeping to leave him on your shared bed and go out your balcony to watch the sky filled with the city’s light, and when days were harder you took the hidden pack of cigarettes and light one up.

As you were watching the sky above your head you felt moving inside the house but didn’t think much of it, as it could be your pet just wandering around.

Your presumption turned out to be wrong as you heard your name be yelled from your bedroom, you quickly get inside to check on the voice and found your boyfriend on the floor. You run to him and slowly get him back on your bed. He pouts seeing your worried face checking for any damage.

“Are you okay? How did you get down there, most importantly why were you th-“ He stops you before you can bombard him with even more questions.

“I’m sorry Y/n, i just needed to drink something and when i saw that you weren’t here i tried to take it myself but i couldn’t...” You could see the disappointment in his eyes, you thought he might be feeling like a weight on your shoulders so you tried your best to comfort him.

“Daisuke look at me. You don’t have to apologise, it’s my fault. I should’ve been there for you but i wasn’t and i’m sorry about that. You shouldn’t force yourself to move too much, the doctors said that your body is still too fragile to sudden movements.” The boy looked at you, the mention of doctors saddened him.

“I’m so tired of these doctors, i sometimes wish you could be the one treating me instead. And the therapist girl always keeps trying to make me spill stuff, is it wrong that i don’t want to talk about it? She keeps asking about you a lot too, she might be thinking that you know more than her.”

“She wouldn’t be wrong, if it makes you feel any better i could try speaking with her.” He tiredly nodded at you and you both get back in bed, drifting off into sleep while holding him.

“Goodnight Y/n, i love you.”

IDK HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS. i weote it in 2 hours so maybe that why its so bad and yea im so tired idek what im saying

[jammiesjars]

First time doing this , but would love Price or koing with a plus fem reader 😩🙏

OH absolutely 😋😋😋

How about a little bit of both?? Its more of a ramble but i hope these suffice 💗💗💗

I did some comfort and fluff for konigs and I did smut for price’s :)

Warnings: fluff and smut, dirty talk, talk of insecurity in königs, grinding

Price

“My pretty fuckin’ birdie…” John mutters, pawing at your thick hips and love handles. He’s got you sat on his lap in front of the mirror, blissed out beyond recognition with his cock seated inside of you.

Its your fault, honestly. John has had a hard day at work, so to see his wife wearing the nightgown she wore on their wedding night made all that frustration channel into something more… primal.

“Look at ya… how gorgeous..” He’d growl, reaching up to squeeze the fat of your tits as he lets you desperately grind down onto him. Your cunt aches, desperate for the release you’ve been denied so many times as Price plays with your body. You desperately try to lift your hips up for more friction, only to be slammed back down; the fat on your thighs rippling as it connects with his muscular ones.

“No, love. I didn’t say you could lift your hips, did I? I said you could grind.” He’d tut, rocking your hips back and forth.

“N-not enough- its not enough John-“ you’d slur, babbling incoherently as he makes you grind back on him.

“You’ll take what I give you.”

You let out pitiful moans and pleas, just for ‘a little more, john’, and promising you’ll ‘be a good girl, love.’

But it doesnt matter. Price doesnt want this to end just yet, so it wont.

He’ll keep you like this until he cant take it any longer, finally gripping the fat of your hips and fucking you into oblivion.

Konig

“You ready to go, Meine Liebe?” König would call out, his large frame standing in the doorway. Even in his own house he manages to radiate something ominous, like hes out of place.

What he didnt expect, though, was to be met with tears running down your pretty face as you stood in front of the mirror. He watched as you tugged at the dress you wore, silently sobbing as it doesnt fit exactly how you imagined. (So real)

“Schatz?” König frowns. “What’s wrong?”

König trots over, kneeling in front of you. “Whats got my wife so upset?” His large hands engulf your chubby hips that he rubs in soothing circles. It doesnt matter how plump you got, wether naturally or from königs sneaky ways of making you eat more, (poor boy was afraid you were going to wither away and he wasnt going to let that happen.) , he still somehow managed to remain larger.

Bleary eyes meet his as you babble incoherently, trying to explain that you cant go out looking like this.

“Looking like what, Meine Liebe? You look pretty.” He states, his tone straightforward. He says it like its a fact, not an opinion.

“Like- like this! Im huge-“ you blubber, more tears falling down your swollen cheeks. You attempt to step out of Königs grip, with the intentions of changing.

“Ah ah. You’re not leaving yet, maus. Let me look at my wife” He tuts, large hands roaming your body.

“So pretty and soft..” He grunts, squeezing your midsection and arms.

“König don’t touch me like that, you know how i get-“ You’d sniffle, wiping your tears.

“Hush. Ill touch my wife how I want.” Is all you get in return as he peppers soft kisses on any skin for purchase. Its almost ironic to see such a large man kneeling before you to kiss you so sweetly.

Hes content here, to kiss your skin so sweetly as wordless affirmation for his love for your body until those tears stop. And once they finally do, he’ll peer up from kissing the soft pudge of your stomach.

“My pretty maus… dont cry, Ja? You’re so beautiful.”

Is he the best with words? No. But damn will he try if it means your more comfortable in your own skin.

[j1mmys-darl1ng]

rubberman!kai smut perchance? as in kai having a rubber suit

ur literally my favourite fanfic writer 💙

pairing : kai anderson x reader

Warnings : p in v, rough sex, degrading, its literally kai, improper use of kool-aid, spit

A/n: aaaaah thank you 🫶🫶🫶 im really feeding yall with 2 sober fics back to back

NOT FOR MINORS COMSUMPTION! IF YOU READ FURTHER THIS IS YOUR FAULT NOT MINE!!

"look at this peice of kinky shit i found" kai huffs, throwing a latex suit onto the table your sat at, the material shining under the dim light of the lamp.

"what is it?" you ask kai gently, knowing anything can set him off.

"some fucking rubber suit, i wanna try it out" kai says blankly, cutting straight to the point.

"is it clean? Where did you even find it?" your words are hesitant, not wanting to cause him to snap.

"doesn't matter. Hop up on the table. Or do you want me to force you down instead?"

Without a second thought, you hop up on the table. His lips crash into yours imediately, his fingernails pulling so hard on your shirt that you can hear the thread begin to snap.

He practically rips your shirt off you, not breaking the aggressive kiss at all. You both discard the rest of your clothes.

Kai leaves the room momentarily with the rubber suit, leaving you to desperately roll your hips as you try to cause some sort of friction.

He soon returns, his cock standing proud as i grabs a cut and a pack of kool-aid from the kitchen. After a few more minutes of trying to get any pleasure, he returns, the cup containing kool-aid mixed with something else...

"if you wanna be such a slut then go ahead and drink it" he growls, spitting into the cup and forcing it to your lips.

You reluctantly begin to drink it, the liquid thicker than water. Then it hits you.

Without saying or doing anything, you force yourself to finish it. Placing the cup aside while your thighs rub together needily.

"please kai... I really need you" your voice pleading. You see his eyes turn dark as you call him kai.

"that's not my fuckin' name. Try again or ill leave you like this. All needy and desperate with no way to relief it."

"s-sorry... Master.." you manage to whimper out, your eyes begging for him not to leave.

"that's my good little slut" he grumbles as he tightly grips your cheeks, forcing your lips together as he drains his saliva into your mouth, leaving you no choice but to swallow it.

Without any warning, he roughly pushes your thighs appart, ramming his dick into your silky hole. Your nails dig into his shoulders, loud moans and whines slipping past your lips as his dick burries itself inside you.

Hes so deep inside you swear you can feel it nudging you stomach.

"you like that you fuckin' slut? Just taking all of me like a greedy whore aren't you? Its like you want this or some shit." he groans, his balls slapping against your ass with each aggressive thrust.

You begin to feel a knot forming, your nails begining to draw blood from his shoulders due to how hard your holding onto him.

"AGH! You fuckin' bitch!" kai yells out, slapping you across the face. This is all you need for your walls to tighten around him. This causes him to slap you again as your climax crashes down.

"did i say you could cum yet!? I dont fuckin' think so! Your gonna get punished later you filthy cum slut." his voice is still loud as he clamps a hand around your throat, not tight enough to cut off your breathing but not loose enough for you to move.

After a few more thrusts, his sticky seed paints your walls white. He practically fucks it into you, wanting to increase his chance of you having his messiah baby.

"clean yourself up. I have a meeting to get to" he huffs, quickly giving you a hesitant kiss on your nose as he speedily gets changed. You would have never expected in a million years for him to give you a kiss so it was a pleasant surprise.

Guess you'll have to wait till later to see what your punishment it.

A/n: this was a 2 day process 😭🙏. This was so fun to write because i kinda ran wild with it

Thank you so much for reading! <3

[sunbowo-o]

⚠️ HoO Spoilers ⚠️

ok, so i just finished the last book from HoO and i need to say that, even though i LOVED this saga, i am kinda disappointed with the ending... and here is why:

(tbh, i don't know if these are controversial or general agreement topics, but pls be nice!)

i felt like a lot of things were missing, like, for example, WHY the hell didn't have a scene with Percy and his mother??? not even a LETTER?? 😭 my boy went missing for so long, his mum must be dying from worries and we don't even get a chapter with them both talking?? after everything Sally has done on the first saga?

another character that i felt was forgotten is Grover. tbf, i didn't expect like a whole scene with a long dialogue with him, but, how much it would cost just to say that, for example, Nico saw him, Percy and Annabeth talking together? the og trio. he deserved so much better 💔

ok, so we miss all these, but what do we get?? JASON AND PIPER KISSING! like, i understand the importance of the scene (a new begining and shit) but is not like we haven't seen it happening before, they say it was their first kiss but that part didn't had any impact on me like???? and they're just a OK couple, doesn't even gets close to that Percabeth kiss scene in the end of the last PJO book. so, yeah, was this REALLY necessary??

Leo's "death" was a really weak angst. don't get me wrong, leo is one of my favourite characters of all time, and i know some of the readers got really sad, but i didn't, because i knew he wouldn't die (ok, this was my fault maybe, but i saw that he was the one who narrates the last chapter) and we kinda of knew his plan, i knew he had the cure with him yk?

and, complementing topic 4, the last chapter being about him and Calipso was just 😐😐 like, everyone thinks he is dead, but we know he is not, so it doesn't have this weight anymore, and, then, he goes to Calipso... i know he is obsessed with her, and talk about her throughout all the book, but, why this was the last chapter??? A WHOLE SAGA SAYING ABOUT MONSTERS AND GAIA AND IT JUST END WITH TWO "TEENS" TALKING ABOUT OH YEAH WE DONT KNOW WHERE WE ARE GOING BY THE WAY

And, in the topic of monster and battle, the Gaia battle was SO DAMN BORING!!! Ok, so Rick passed 5 whole books saying to readers "hey, pay attention! they can't let Gaia wake up or else will be THE END OF THE WORLD" and we are like "ok lol" and then she wakes up and i was like "OH SHIT WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY GOING TO DO?? IS THE END!!! NOOOO!!!" ... she appears... they drag her to the sky... one explosion (and an unnecessary Octavian death) and BOOM! its over. "simple" like that. AND without any relevant deaths.

i am just angry because the end of PJO was wonderful. they had to do hard sacrifices, (Charlie), it had betrayal plot (Silena) and redemption (Silena and Luke). they had to use ALL the forces they could think of and still was a difficult battle. and the main villain was a TITAN!!!!! Gaia was supposed to be SO MUCH DIFFICULT, and yet, it was not. the giants were harder to fight.

and talking about fight. the way that the amazons and the hunters didn't appear back was so 😐😐 too. like, it seemed they were forgotten like Grover and Sally. not even a change of letters? just to guarantee they were ok...

my verdict: pjo CRUSHES hoo

anyway, i know that there's "more" but i also know that The Seven™ will not be all together again, so its just kinda of disappointment to know that was the end... feel free to also give your opinion (but try to avoid future spoilers please!)

(also, srr for my English! 🫶)

[ender-cloud]

That new update ahshshbsbdhejsjdheha Tgs spoilers under cut

GUYS RACHEL IS CRYING AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO :( MY GIRL, I’ve been begging for a reaction and now i’m sad seeing it.

It’s kind of the expected reaction and it’s an appropriate reaction but i feel so bad for her. I need a Rachel rant pages, i just need her to get her emotions out Holy shittt!!!

Also Jasper???

I wanna know if its like, did he see Rachel upset, or is he like doubting Jekyll? From how the panels are set up I think it’s him being worried about Rachel and I’m hoping we get Rachel ranting next page please please please, I need it so bad

Ok ok, now Lanyons Monologue the actual important part of this page so time to break this down:D

“But in Return, it tears your life Apart” god that’s so well written man, It’s so hard to unpack these things but i find it so interesting how Lanyon went from “Holy shit my boyfriend has been lying to me” to “Is it because of this Rouge science?”

The thing that stood out to me was Lanyon knowing that Jekyll was slipping but seemingly ignoring it because he didn’t want to believe Jekyll was slipping, he didn’t want to see Jekyll as anything except for “perfect” as we’ve seen in the last few pages

“Maybe I wouldve been able to rescue Henry from himself” LANYON I LOVE YOU BUT YOU CAUSE ME SO MUCH PAIN HOLY SHIT

Was part of it Lanyons fault? Sorta???? Like in a way Jekyll made the potion so he could be this perfect person for himself and the society but it’s likely that Lanyon also had a big part in why.

Mind lanyon of course, what Jekyll wanted/inspired to be more like. But, Lanyon is only a factor why, I’m not sure how much he could’ve done for Jekyll, there is probably a way he couldn’t helped more but it’s not like 100% certain that even if he changed some things Jekyll wouldn’t have made the potion

Now it’s time for the, Guys please stop calling Hyde a disease, portion

AGHSHSHAHHEHEHWJW I get why Lanyon says these things, I do, I really do, BUT COME ON MAN, he’s still a human being dude, just a ball chaos. BUT A DEMON???

Like Hyde was still a part of Jekyll that’s now separated and has the ability to form his own thoughts but a demon???? I think Lanyon really needs to accept that Jekyll did this to himself, there wasn’t an outside force, its not a demon, Jekyll made the potion and drank it, studying the affects it might have even before he did it.

It’s just interesting how Lanyon refuses to accept it no matter how much Jekyll has told him about how he made the potion and chose to drink it and Lanyon is still here thinking “It’s a demon, Thats why”

God dude, Hyde hasnt even killed anyone in Tgs too so it’s even more like unreasonable, did he start a fire… yes, but in self defense! The Hyde slander is getting out of hand, :(

[ganondoodle]

so i sort of half accidentally did the end of totk on monday, i had over 130 hours and slightly over 50% of the game done and did the second to last fight with 3 hearts left and no way to heal but fairies after i gave up multiple times thinking the game might be trying to force me to fight a certain way xD

so im still playing it and am aiming for the 100% but i dont think theres gonna be much more to discover story wise the game is really fun and has a lot of detail and love put into it that you can really see, the music is fantastic as well, some of the characters get more love which is great but the story is … well disappointing but not surprising, especially in its treatment of ganondorf, who still feels incredibly flat as a character, which was to be expected but also … you cant fault people (including me) for faintly hoping theyd do something more interesting tho i will say the end fight is really well done and i cant think of a way to top that in terms of epicness xD

anyway, some unfiltered thoughts and opinions in no particular order (keep in mind i know its viddy game logic uwu but still some things can really destroy the immersion; and also i like to think too hard about the stuff i care about so take this with a grain of salt, i never expected the story to be world changing but i want to remind you that i am criticizing it bc i love this franchise)

--what the hell happened to all the sheikah tech?? botws story gets mentioned a few times but never is it mentioned what happened to all the tons of tech lying around everywhere? if they dismantled the towers for purah to build her new ones around i guess thats fine, but all the srhines? the titans ??? THE SHRINE OF LIFE??? its all gone, esepcially the shrine of life irks me bc the cave is still there and its still called by its bame but its nothing but a cave in a vague shape of how the buidling was it absolutely drives me crazy bc its so dumb?? even if it all stopped working for some reason why would you dismantled it all and even then where did the material go?? why would you dismanlted an neitre building like that anyway?? if you want to have a cave there just have it be half collapsed, if all sheikah tech has gotten useless just leave it there but overgrown?? and why is all of purahs tech still working then? zelda doesnt seem to care about it anymore either even tho shes been so obsessed with it for so long? the titans how would you even MOVE them?? you CANNOT tell me that all this tech that survived tens of thousands of years just went poof within a few years; and sometimes it even feels .. insulting? like you know how much robelo cared for cherry and now shes tiny and just serves as a way to buy fotos for your collection? the fact that the shrine of life is fully gone but the cave is vaguely shaped like its interior and where the bed used to be is a healing pool of water too? like idk if im just insane but it feels like 'haha lol remember what used to be here? get it? the water heals you like the bed in the shrine of life and lol there was the stairs HAHA remember? its gone now for no reason.lmao.' to be clear i like having some mysteries and all but that is just …. so weird? when i discovered the shrine of life i was so taken aback i didnt know what to do, it really broke my immersion, by alot even, it just makes it feel even more like all sheikah tech was replaced by much cooler (tm) sonau tech

--what happend to the sonau people? we only know that rauru and mineru are the last two remaining ones back then but … what made them die out like that? this is by far not as important to me as the issue with the sheikah tech but still feels like a point that could have been mentioned

--as much as i like the open world and how free you are to do things your own way but, regardign the dragon tears i think they should have been locked more behind story progression, i got all of them rather early on and it made it a lil frustrating to play through the other story parts bc you know the truth but you cant tell anyone and everyone around you is acting like a dumbass running after fake zelda while the real one is floating around above you, and i know thats partly my fault for getting them all so early but it still felt like some could have been more well hidden or locked or something since theres no hint to when it would fit to do which one; i expecpted impa to travel to each one but it seemed like she appeared on only a few here and there- additionally i fully expected her to be more important, that she would have an actual involment trying to help zelda undragonfy but that turned out to be very wrong lmao

--why are the enemies in the underground mining sonanium? ganondorf didnt seem itnerested at all in any of their tech, only in the mystery stones (only one too, he didnt seem to want any more of them either) they dont use it for anything? at least the ones on the surface collected stuff they could eat or use for fighting?

--did mineru really build herself a robot body just to fight ganondorf for a bit and then leave? as the last of the sonau, even tho long dead too, why wouldnt she tell their history and knowledge or something and instead if just helping a lil in the fight and then go poof (i half expected purah to be a surprise sage since the spirit one would have fit her i think)

--the zelda being the white dragon plot point lost alot of weight to me when it was just .. resolved like that in the end, i know she spent thousands of years like that and all but it seemed like a much heavier decision that later on felt a little less flat after fidning mineru even tho i felt like i didnt care at all at first bc of the way i found out ,and i half expected there to be an extra mission to try and find her soul again since that apparently gets lost when you do the whole dragon thing, but in the end that wasnt a problem at all, two ghosts and link (somehow naked again) blasting her with some magic(tm) and boom shes back and well and fine woohoo it was a non problem after all i didnt expect her to stay dragon since that would mean the end of the legend of zelda basically, but still it took away alot of the weight of her decision to me? like i get undragonfying her before the end would be difficult since you can get material off of her but still i hoped for something other than boom it resolved itself and i thoguht and worried about it for nothing honestly a post game or even another title where the main focus wouldnt be desstroying yet anyother one note evilest guy of them all and isntead the goal is to bring zeldas soul back and undragon her or something would have been a cool idea tbh tho i know its unrealistic

--did ganondorf think turning himself into a dragon would end the world somehow? did he mean the lil evil goo clouds he spit at you in the last fight to end the world? and how come that he was vunerable to fight? none of the other dragons could be hurt and for an 'immortal' dragon he sure went down fast also how did the stone get back on his forehead? you need to eat it to dragonfy yourself and zelda doesnt have her stone out either (i know viddy games logic but still) (on another note, gan shoving half his arm in his own mouth felt really cursed to watch)

--into WHAT exactly wanted gan to reshape the world into?? only destroying it is such a non reason if you want to rule it? theres nothing left to rule if you kill everything in it?? he just gonna play cards with some bokblins or what -i really wanted to fight ganondorf on the surface, not in his lil miasma incubation cave again :(

--so …. why he evil? are we really doing the and WHOOP suddendnly theres the eviliest guy of the world and he hates your guts for some reason thing again? no tension with the gerudo that seemed to follow him in the lil cutscene we see and the ones that went on raurus side? no actual origin? does he have ANYONE to talk to normally or did he just surround himself by monsters all the time or abadon everyone that once followed him once he got his power up?? you can make any design or fight as good as it can possibly be but in the end its still gonna feel hollow if the character has no character besides evil even the fake zelda wasnt actually him and just a lil puppet made of miasma so even him fucking with people is a little less interesting when he was actually just marinading in his lil goop cave, and the lil hand wink he gives you at phase two can only do so much lmao

--ganondorf is cool and all, but tbh he feels more like the evil miasma goop guy than anything else --why are the old sonau ruins in hyrule so different from the rest? like we know now that they arent actually a civilization from the sky alone but were even in the underground too, and all of their ruins have that blocky white style to it, the supposedly sonau ruins in phirone for example, albeit they share the dragon theme the style on the outside is very much different? and the ancient ruins from the other races dont match it either --are the sheikah descendants of the mixing of sonau and hylians? the white hair and third eye theme would fit to the only alive sonaus we see having white hair (fur?), the literal third eye and their affinity to techonology similar to the sheikah, and zelda having both light and time powers would make sense if its yet another descendant thing, but that would mean zelda was at least part sheikah .. (ngl white haired zelda might look pretty neat actually) but also … it didnt seem like sonia and rauru have been together all that long and no mention or even hint to them having children … which given that both of them die would be an important thing to mention no?

--why cant you do anything with the dongos but feed them????????? i wanna ride them :(

--where is kashiwa????????????????? they talk about him like hes a lost legend

--putting in all the amiibo stuff is cool and annoying at the same time, i spent 5 hours fighting my way throguh the underground to follow treasure maps and found 3 nigh identcal link hats from past games in a row, then two other parts of similar, then two aiimbo weapons and then jsut yesterday another one from a bigger quest that i expected more of; getting the armor sets of past games is cool if you want them but if i did i would have just gotten the amiibos back in botw, my inevntory already feels super bloated with all the new and old armor sets and now the amiibo stuff as well even tho i have like .. half of it all atm (and dont go and argue 'oh so complaining about more content for free???' yes. yes i am.)

--whats with this game and making link almost naked? rauru saving you from death? naked. (annoying) survival shrines? naked. weird teleport to alternate ghost dimension to blast zelda with magic power tm to solve all problems? naked.

--(added in edit) im glad dorephan didnt die!! i fully expected him to have died offscreen or something to make way for everyones favorite fish

--(added in edit) so are definitely other lands besides hyrule if yona came from there, also lol

--the story feels, espeically once you see the last cutscene, very …. uncomfortable to me if dare to think about it more than just taking everythign as its said to you, like … the oh so perfect descednants of the gods(what) marry a normal hylian lady and sourround themselves with perfetly obedient faceless servants of the other races so the perfect and good kingdom tm is born and oh suddendly theres an evil brown man (makign him grey doesnt change the implications, if anything, it makes it worse bc they wont even stand for it and instead are trying to hide it behind uuuuh no no its fine hes blue actally kinda way) from the desert that attacks the perfect good kingdom and king, then he swears alliance to them only to betray and murder da queen right away to get his hands on a super power the perfect and good king held and would have never never used it in a bad way nono and now they need to defend it by all means and at the end woohoo zelda has now again the perfect kingdom with no opposition except the yiga who are (as much as i love them) mostly played for laughs or .. well, evil(tm) as epic and cool the dragon fight was, zelda being the slim tiny white/gold/blue dragon and ganondorf being the evil spiky big black and red dragon and them literally being called white/black dragon feels like wow they arent even trying to hide the black and white storytelling huh (i know its a design trope to the bad be black(color) and the good anything else and spiky vs round and soft blah blah but that doesnt make it any better .. maybe even worse? idk)

the way nintendy was keeping stuff a secret and hinting around so much made me feel like it would finally be a little more nuanced and then it turned out to be even flatter than before and all that secrecy(?) was only to keep dragon zelda plotpoint a secret, something that was resolved no problem in the end anyway (i didnt need zelda to stay dragon but .. it all just lost so much weight the way it was done at the end)

-- (added in edit) master koga is the best character and no one can beat him, the most joy i felt was seeing him again and i am not joking, i wish i could talk to him normally tho without him being able to see through my yiga disguise :( im so glad he didnt die tho bc if he actually went to gan he would 100% be dead within seconds

--(added in edit2) i forgot to mention but was just reminded that link getting his arm back felt super weird too, so really everything that meant major changes got reversed basically ... coool ...back to status quo i guess, couldnt he if he wasnt missing it at least have it be discolored somehow? or scarred? any reminder? zelda too even, could she also have some sort of scar or similar due to her transformation ??

--(added in edit2) so where did the mystery stones even come from? gans and zeldas are gone after dragonfying i guess so ...what?

so in summary, im not eloquent enough to properly analyse all the problematic/questionable stuff and put it into the right words, but these are my random thoughts just spilled out, theres gonna be things i missed, forgot, or gonna think about later, maybe ill add it maybe not

again take it with a grain of salt, the game is still one of the most fun games i have ever played, my problems with it lie majorly in the story, its still very much worth playing!

[thecavernsabove]

okay now i just want to talk about my expectations versus why i have ended up liking certain characters because i am just so intrigued by everything these people and characters do. for bells hells, i went into it knowing i would love ashton because they are the reason I started watching, i didn't think i would really latch onto any other character, apart from maybe fearne because she's a satyr and i am particularly partial to satyrs, and imogen because i mean it's laura bailey!

but what actually happened, is that yes i did get super attached to ashton of course i did, but my top three quickly became ashton, orym and laudna (and as someone who started being able to watch live at the split you can imagine how devastated i was). and recently chetney is really creeping up there. i do love all the characters dearly though.

ashton just reminds me of myself so much, apart from the fact that they are much braver than i could ever be, and blunter too. i wish i could be them and also see all my faults in them. its a lot.

orym was my first introduction to liam o'brien and his devastating little guys (more on caleb later), and just his backstory and the way he deals with people intrigues me so much and i want to see him happy so bad.

laudna oh laudna. marisha ray you have ruined me. even going into this with my minimal knowledge of the briarwoods, her backstory reveal was so intense and it hurt. also, creepy unnerving girlies stick together! she's iconic.

chetney is so wild to me i love him so much. he is so intensely gender as well i love him so much. i love gruff and grumpy characters that are actually nice once you are more friendly with them.

imogen. i will say it took a little bit for her to grow on me but i do love her. i think the bassuras dusk stuff really helped me like her more. also her immense power and lightning scars are pretty cool if you ask me.

fearne. i love how sweet she is and the stuff like being bad at lying and also just stealing little things here and there was really fun. but what made me like her more was when she got more serious and i didn't expect that (foreshadowing for later!)

fcg. now, i still have, mixed? feelings for fcg. in a sense of i dont hate the character but i think the character arc is not something im too interested in, but i do still like them. the stuff with frida was very nice, and i do like the bits that they do - but i think there still feels like there is something missing for me somewhat.

now, with the mighty nein, i had an inkling on who i would like. i thought caleb certainly because we seem very similar, molly maybe because i liked ashton so hey i might like this taliesin character too! and that was it really. going into it though, because i had seen so much of jester (talking about her and cosplays mostly) i thought that she would be probably my least favourite because her personality didn't seem to really gel with what i usually like in characters. but here i am, on the other side with my favs being caleb, fjord, and jester! it was so much watching everything for the first time, even with knowing the big spoilers and then looking at more minor spoilers so i knew somewhat what would happen - but i do that with a lot of things, its different knowing what happens versus actually watching and experiencing what is happening.

caleb. caleb widogast is such an intense character and i loved every minute i spent with him. i spent so much time checking when i would finally see the nein sided tower of his and watching liam describe everything for an hour was so incredible i was in awe. i truely love that dirt wizard so much.

fjord was a truly unexpected character for me to fall for. the first time i realized that i was going to love him though was when they were in the one politicians house early in the campaign and he held his sword to caleb to make sure he wasn't fucking with them. then seeing his growth, the accent change, and just his whole deal i was enraptured. i do miss the southern eldritch blast though.

jester oh my goodness did she creep up on me. i think her initial cuteness that i had experienced throughout just existing on the internet put me off for some reason but i don't know why. however i did quickly fall in love with her, when she had one of her more sinister/serious moments early on. i don't remember what it was but i remember thinking oh. /oh./ okay. i love her. and then her relationship with her mama, and artie, gosh i just loved watching laura bailey do literally anything. the cupcake bit! also the sprinkle bit is quite funny. i also just love doing her voice when im talking to myself. she is also the reason that i take a decent amount of damage spells with my current cleric.

beau. i think i thought that i would have liked her more than i did (don't get me wrong i liked her a lot but she is not in my top three), but she is incredible. as a fellow monk pc i do love going the extra mile with those stunning strikes, and also seeing her relationship with yasha blossom was so lovely. and her bro relationships with fjord and caleb were also some of my favourites.

yasha. after starting with campaign three, it was really hard to not see ashley all the time and i remember having to look on the wiki while watching to check when she would come back every time she left. i think i really started to like her more after her she got taken, and went through that big arc, and we were around her more often. i loved watching her dreams. i loved watching her so much.

veth was so unexpected are you kidding me?? i will say i have yet to have a sam character be in my top three but god he knows how to throw an emotional punch and i love that kind of stuff. i love her relationship with caleb, the detective agency, the chaos crew. i love her arc of getting herself back, of seeing her family again. ough. im a big lover of families.

caduceus. goodness gracious me what a character. i just absolutely loved the aesthetic and caduceus's whole relationship to how he approaches death. he is also the reason i started playing a grave cleric in a newer campaign. but truly, has made me think differently about death - which was especially needed for me this year.

mollymauk. i knew he was dead. i knew he would die. but that didn't make me any less upset when it happened! i think about him often, what could have been. especially since i was so sure he took the wrong amount of damage in that fight and should not have quite have been knocked out at that time. but his whole maximallist aesthetic is something i very much enjoy, and i love the through line of his cards with jester.

wow okay this has gotten to be very long but i need to get my thoughts about everyone out somewhere!! if you've read this far im so sorry this is so much of my own ramblings.

[4qu3er1us-punk]

one of the worst feelings is your parents not understanding.

“mom, im trans”

“i dont know about that, you dress pretty feminine”

until then i had essentially no masc clothing or anything and i was bullied for being ugly so i wore makeup. like

“mom, i think i have an eating disorder because i hate eating and am never hungry”

“is it because you wanna be skinny? do you not eat to be skinny? youre already skinny youve always been picky.”

it used to be because i thought i was fat when i was like 8 and it’s evolved into this since then but is no longer for that reason..

“mom i think im depressed. (explains symptoms of severe depression and borderline suicidal ideation but doesnt go into it or my hidden self harming because she’d be mad)”

“thats normal.”

what the fuck. also i got diagnosed so that shut her up

“mom can i go out with friends?”

“no. it doesnt matter that EVERYONE IN YOUR GRADE has had a sleepover before or gone to their friends houses or can go to a park a BLOCK AWAY from their house, their parents are crazy. besides you have to eat first its not my fault you refuse to eat”

so every parent of a high schooler in the world? and then she expects me to be PERFECT and happy but not hyper happy just not sad and mature and respectful and get straight a’s. also mom im not hungry and gave you a chance to look into it but fucking fine.

fine.

im. done.

im not gonna 💀 but im just done talking. im not talking unless im interacted with first anymore. im not doing anything other than exactly what she says anymore. i wont talk to my friends or do extracurriculars, just school. i will become a literal npc, since thats what she wants. she wont even call me her son or male terms, she rarely uses he/him and just uses they them, and on occasion calls me my preferred name rather than sis. she still calls me my deadname sometimes. she compares it to if she changed her name to lisa and i had to call her that. the difference is its not for mental health and safety and I WOULD DO IT CORRECTLY. is this toxic or am i dramatic? i just cant do it anymore.

[welp-back-on-my-bs]

Gilbert's heart

(Viola is Morgan's deadname)

The manchine that Viola had grown to apriciate as a second home had a careage out front with things being packed.

She quickly went inside, cleaned herself up, and went to see Gilbert, scared, confused.

"Y-youre leaveing?-"

"I'm sorry... I..."

Gilbert couldn't look her in the eye.

"Why?- did I do somethi-"

"No- it's not your fault-"

He quickly hugged her and she hugged him back tightly.

The two of them stayed like that in silence for a bit until they both were calmer.

"I... have something I want to give you... I was going to have it delivered when I was gone... but since you're here..."

Gilbert handed Viola a little box. She took it, confused.

When looking in, there was a little necklace with a G + V engraved into it.

"Its beautiful!"

She was crying and hugged Gilbert, but this time it was of appreciation.

"It has out names in it- so you won't forget me."

"Now I wish I had something for you..."

"Hm? But you have given me so much. This is the one thing I can't take home with me... so I want you to gaurd my heart."

She was shocked but nodded

"I will have it on me until the day I die."

But... she didn't...

"No! Dont! Please!"

"You don't need this. So I'm getting rid of the damn thing!"

Morgan expected never to see it again... but... there it was. In the hands of the same person who gave it the first time.

But things were differnt now.

"I dare say, I was destroyed when I found this on the market... you promised to wear it until the day you die."

Morgan couldn't look the man in the eye. Him being there made their stomach turn and sking thaw, in preparation for something bad.

Then, something cold was being placed around their neck.

"Honestly... your little trick with faking your death fooled everyone... even me... it destroyed me all the more..."

Morgan was as still as a statue, unable to move

"I...im sorry..."

Gilbert hummed and placed a kiss on the back of their neck

"Its alright my butterfly, I learned that my heart was torn away from you. Just like so much of you was..."

Gilbert held Morgan close, his lips by their ear

"Don't worry... that problem has been dealt with..."

They froze, haveing an idea of what that meant.

"I managed to get the V changed into an M, it was quite kind of you for makeing such a thing easy"

He bit down on their neck. Earning a gasp from Morgan

"There. Now none can say you're anyone's but mine~"

"W-what?-"

"Hehe. I left you a new gift, as a apology present for leaveing you alone for so long. You can go and open it~"

Gilbert was smirking, and it put Morgan on edge.

They went over to the gift box placed nicely on their bed.

What was in the box, sent them into a spiral...

It was the head of their ex-husband. The one who showed them what hell was like. Why they ran. Why they were so hurt.

They put the cover back on

"Don't you like it? Now that you've seen with your own eyes that you're safe to return to me?"

[ryuuka-balaen]

@skitariiposting tagging you because it's your fault the idea got stuck in my head to make this, both because of this post and because of a conversation in the discord server you made.

(content warning for my dear friend fae who hates hearing me do this; video with deadvoice ahead.)

[edit: the video embeds closer to the end don't seem to work on the mobile app. they do work in mobile browser though, if you're willing to go to the effort of opening this post in your browser just to watch them.]

it's not exactly what I wanted and I probably should have thought a little more about how to word things beforehand but whatever I'm tired so I'm not trying a second take.

now a few comments to answer the questions i expect to get if any more than the usual 3 people see this before i get them;

those people that have told me they cant voice train have also once told me its ableism for me to say that that's not true and that they're lying to themselves. And yes, there are some people who for medical reasons may not be able to do vocal training due to problems relating to their larynx or voicebox. This is not about them! That said, being autistic does not stop you from doing vocal training. Having ADHD does not stop you from doing vocal training. Yes, it may be somewhat harder because autistic people and other neurodivergents often have difficulty managing their inflections and tone. It may be somewhat more difficult for these people as they will need to pay more attention to those things but that is not an impassible barrier.

For people that say they tried and it just didn't work; You don't know how to move the muscles you need to to be able to train your voice. That's what the exercises are for. That's the entire point! They teach you how to consciously use the muscles you use to change your voice and they strengthen those muscles so that they'll be eventually be able to stand up to constant use.

The tips i have for vocal training! first and foremost i always always always recommend people to read this guide; https://www.reddit.com/r/transvoice/comments/d3clhe/ls_voice_training_guide_level_1_for_mtf/ The first step to making your voice something you like is to understand what it's made of. There are some great exercises there to help you gain better control of the different components of your voice and from that you can start to build a voice that's yours.

aside from that i dont have any actual tips to give lol aside from explaining how i trained my voice; first by reading the guide i linked front to back multiple times to memorize it's content, then trying each of the exercises included once to get a feel for what those exercises were exercising/developing. From there I had somewhat of an idea of how to proceed and started on my actual training:

Streaming On Twitch.

that was all I did for my vocal training, and how I incentivized myself to actually do the training.

That said; I do have a couple proper tips to give, the first of which is that pitch doesnt mean shit for making your voice sound feminine. people of all genders that're into women will rave about how deep or gravelly women's voices sound "mature" and "sexy" and that's because low pitch does not read as masculine. What you should pay attention to in your voice is your resonance and your tone, which are explained in the guide I sent above. To sum up from what I remember, you do not want your voice to be resonating in your chest (a lot of people will talk about "headvoice" for getting your voice to resonate in your mouth, my resonance point is actually in my throat so you don't need to try that hard at that). For tone, it's helpful to know that a voice that fluctuates in tone more is read as more feminine, and a voice that has a more flat tone is read as more masculine.

aside from what your voice sounds like, your choice of words and how you pronounce them has a much more significant impact on how a voice is read than most people would think. a voice that speaks bluntly and emphasizes hard sounds and stops in words is read as more masculine, and a voice that uses indirect wording and sort of 'flows' words together (it's been described to me as trying to sound how cursive looks) by softening and sometimes dropping entirely hard sounds like 'g's or 't's from words will be read as more feminine.

finally; START SLOW. WORK IN SMALL INCREMENTS. it is extremely easy to overwork or pull your vocal muscles and permanently damage your voice. if you ever feel fatigue or pain in your neck/throat while vocal training, the time to stop has already passed, and you need to give your body a couple days to recover. I don't like to share my old twitch channel, but I want to for this post as I feel they're a good way to help me explain. So, as an example of where to start, here's one of my first clips from when I started streaming;

The only efforts I was putting into my voice at this time was one, doing a "customer service voice" that one might do when working a customer service position or otherwise pretending to like someone you're talking to by speaking in an overly friendly tone and lifting your voice a little. And two, I was lifting the resonance point of my voice so it didn't rumble in my chest and instead felt closer to my neck.

That was from Sept.1, and the first clip I was able to find where I feel my voice started sounding more feminine was from Dec.8, so just a little over three months later;

I'm not putting these here as a way to say "it should take you about three months to get to the point you can use a feminine voice," my intent is actually the opposite. because, again, I was speaking for five hours a day every day to gradually work myself up to this point and that's very much not something that most people have the time and space available to do.

The last thing I have to say, I think, is that when people have asked before what exercises I did to train my voice, the answer I've given is "Screaming". and, uh. I don't think that that alone gives a good idea of what I mean, so here. have three examples of Screaming.

looking for those I've realized that I didnt start doing the screaming noises really til after I'd settled into a half-decent feminine voice but I do stand by that that and making strange noises was extremely beneficial in my learning to better control my voice and really settle into a voice that I enjoy and am comfortable in.