#idk hes my age so im definitely critical of the fact it took him this long to even start seeing his brother as a human with autonomy

[oceanwithouthermoon]

saiki siblings rant from the drafts eight months ago ✨❤️

i find it really funny when people try to turn the tables and claim that KUSUO was abusive to KUSUKE 😭

i definitely think its unfair to put ALL the blame onto kusuke, i mean at their cores they are both just traumatized children after all !! kusuke holds way more fault than kusuo but in reality their parents are the ones who actually hold most of the blame. i mean even reading through this entire post, you cant come back and tell me their parents never couldve intervened. they were both unintentionally neglected by their parents and these are just the unfortunate results. BUT ANYWAY actually LOOKING at the saiki brothers fights from their perspective, just think about how it actually started and how it escalated

kusuke was obviously the one to START the rivalry, kusuo quite literally did nothing... kusuke was a hurting little child who felt inferior, so he decided that it was all kusuos fault, yk, for simply being born the way he is. and of course, they were both suffering, but kusuke literally just does not think about it from kusuo's perspective or consider that he was suffering too because, in HIS eyes, kusuo was inherently superior and therefore, who fucking cares what you say or do to him? he'll be fine! and physically, yeah, he IS fine! mentally? yeah no, hes not fine at all. kusuke doesnt realize how much he fucked with his brothers self-esteem from fucking childhood on. kusuo genuinely tried very hard to forget about kusuke, and the memory that stuck the most was kusuke calling him a monster. yea, kusuke was like.. ten at the time. but that doesnt mean it didnt stick with kusuo, and by the time they saw each other again, kusuke just expected kusuo to figure things would have changed since then ? without ever proving it, and proceeding to, on the contrary, prove time and time again through his actions that his way of thinking never changed, he still sees kusuo as a monster and has no respect for his autonomy.

but i mean all it really was at first was silly sibling fights like who can stand sitting in the hot springs the longest and who can eat the fastest.. these are completely normal sibling fights, like things me and my siblings would literally do when we were younger too..

but the next time chronologically that we see these two after this, it goes from those silly arguments to "im going to ruin your life against your wishes and take away everything you love against your will, try and stop me lolZ!"

like☠️ WHAT. people hate on kusuo for punching him during all that which is so silly because genuinely were you paying attention? first of all, kusuke thought the limiter would take more of kusuos powers away and his first instinct was to HIT HIM WITH A BASEBALL BAT. obviously kusuo hit him away, what the hell do you think YOU wouldve done in that situation? LOL.. and then he punched him all those other times he tried to take the trigger out which like... yea, i dont think that was right necessarily but are we really going to put the blame on a kid for hitting someone in AGGRAVATED SELF-DEFENSE? do you honestly believe that the average response to your brother trying to ruin your life would be to gently push him away or run(/teleport) away? no dude, youd wanna punch him too LMFAO

[swimfuel]

okay humanstuck thoughts under the cut

i owe a lot of this to @/rhythmic-idealist's kankri/vantasposting bc holy shit theyve got such a big brain (ill link to their individual posts when im on desktop since im using this to keep all my thoughts straight and i agree with most of what they say wholeheartedly)

general status quo stuff:

signless works in an extremely demanding career involving helping others (i'm leaning towards an attorney who works with organizations and does pro bono work), and is also extensively involved in social justice work outside of his job... he is very rarely home

he loves and cares for his children deeply and tries to express it whenever they're face to face, but the couch in his cramped and messy office has seen far too much use over the years for him to have been able to say it enough

his habits of working himself to the point of exhaustion are handily passed down to his kids btw

the kids had to grow up quickly because signless was out of the house so often and so consistently—kankri, who was already pretty high-strung, has to learn to take care of himself and karkat

they grow up near ms firuzeh maryam, who's their pseudoaunt/grandma (she took in a nine year old kavana vantas when she was about twenty), but they just call her ms rosa

they spent a lot of time in the maryam house growing up, with miss rosa's two nieces. porrim is a year older than kankri, while kanaya and karkat are the same age

kankri grows kinda sensitive to people trying to mother him since it rubs against the notion that he's the "adult of the house" and that he can take care of himself and karkat just fine

(and it also kinda underlines the fact that kankri has no idea what he's doing at the best of times)

and ironically enough, kankri becomes overbearing and naggy towards karkat in his own right, which forestalls them becoming close in any brotherly sort of way

they grow up really just... unable to communicate with one another clearly

karkat develops his ornery exterior in response to kankri's constant stream of opinions and frantic attempts at making up for the presence of a guardian in the house

i think there would actually be some really interesting parallels with rose in this au.. maybe i'm drawing from my own experiences as well but i think he'd begin to assume that every time his brother opens his mouth, he's going to criticize karkat

but instead of reacting like rose with the "making yourself more of a puzzle"/passive aggressive stuff, he gets a more defensive/hackles raised/"argue with you before you can argue with me" approach

and the thing is that they do love each other and would take a bullet for the other etc etc etc.. but they don't know how to express it because they've fallen into these shitty patterns

and it really doesn't help that kankri has grown somewhat resentful of signless over the years... that mix of resentment and fear and love gets more extreme and more polar every time signless gets injured during a political demonstration

i think kankri and signless would also be slightly closer than karkat and signless, as signless' job really only started to ramp up when karkat was less than years old and kankri was in his early double digits

kankri autistic btw its word of god (i am god)

karkat has a pet crab. its name is also karkat. he vents his frustrations to it.

i feel like the vantases exemplify both the best and worst parts of their aspects with one another as well... the strength of their bonds keeps them together and grounded, but TOO grounded. [insert Blood rant here]

the Blood rant:

i define Blood as bonds, responsibility, and the "core". if Life is the fertile soil and everything living on a planet's surface, then Blood is the gravitational core of the planet keeping everything together

i also think Blood, Heart, & Mind work in tandem to define a person just as blood serves to connect the pieces of the human body... Heart is the soul and the self, Mind is the application of one's self through active choices (agency), while Blood defines both the self and the choices one makes in greater detail [and, as an aside, Life provides the physical spark of life needed to keep the heart pumping blood]

OKAY wow that got tangential anyways

SO BASICALLY! too much Blood makes you stagnate, so for example:

kankri is split between staying home with karkat or going to college across the country and being truly unbound for the first time in years

another crisis of Blood: signless is caught between his empathy and responsibility to the whole world and his responsibility to his own children

okay so here's more status quo stuff:

the maryam and vantas kids grow up together and its hilarious because you'll see them all together and its just like (girlboss) (girlboss) (physical manlet) (emotional manlet)

the maryam girls are actually miss rosa's nieces but she took them in when they were both pretty young

the pyropes know the vantases well enough considering pyrope senior and sign have known one another from their respective legal practices for years, but they live on the other side of town

the leijons lived in town when kankri and meulin were very young, but they moved and travelled for a long time before coming back and reestablishing their roots

the captors (psii being one of sign's oldest and closest friends) move into town with the peixes family pretty early on though

the condesce is.. a horrible spouse and guardian, to put it plainly. she's very emotionally manipulative and isn't averse to smacking people around, including her own family. she moves herself and her perfect little family into town so she can properly oversee a new business venture close by

feferi is one of the best young swimmers in the country and has a pretty good shot of getting onto the olympic team.. a lot of this drive to be perfect and to be better results from the condesce's unrelenting pressure and thinly veiled resentment throughout her whole life

so yeah psii, )(ic, feferi, and sollux all live together and it's really not great for anyone involved. (meenah ran away years ago, and crashed on aranea's couch for a pretty long while—mituna moved out with latula for college before psii and the condesce got married)

it gets bad to the point of sollux staying with the maryams for two months while the adults try to sort out that absolute clusterfuck and get the divorce proceedings going (meenah finally convinces feferi to get out and come stay with her and aranea for the duration as well)

in terms of relationships i think latula and porrim were really really close in high school, and probably had some kind of unacknowledged thing going on for a while that never actually turned into anything because latula and mituna were going steady

kankri has had a crush on latula for years but never acted on it for similar reasons

meenah still carries a lot of that give no fucks attitude (it's developed moreso as a defense mechanism here) and can't understand why feferi refuses to leave the condesce with her

okay back to VANTAS MANPAIN i also think that karkat feels the weight of a lot of expectations on his shoulders as well

he feels responsible to live up to the example his dad and his brother set, even if it's to his own detriment—and kankri's oblivious rambling about his grades and his teachers and all his clubs certainly aren't helping the matter

kankri is one of those overinvolved kids taking a million AP's while simultaneously shitting on the collegeboard at every single step

hes this super overachiever anal retentive perfectionist type dude and (just as karkat preemptively criticizes others to forestall their criticisms of him only to harshly criticize himself) kankri subconsciously holds the people around him to the same expectations he holds for himself

so karkat also develops this sense of lacking which, in combination with everything else, culminates in self loathing and thinking he has to solve everyone else's problems and getting horribly mad at himself for every little mistake

GOD i have a lot more but lemme post this before i accidentally close out of the app and lose it all

more little details:

vriska's mom and terezi's mom HATE each other like HATE HATE HATE one another it's so bad

karkat wrote a ten page review of my immortal in middle school

jade is one of nepeta's best online friends

sollux can't raise one eyebrow at a time.. karkat gives him so much grief about it

the vantases eat a lot of shitty renditions of persian dishes until karkat learns to cook because literally the only person in the world with a CHANCE of getting KANKRI VANTAS to make an EDIBLE DISH is miss rosa

kanaya is really good at persian dance too but is VERY VERY embarassed to perform in front of people.. however porrim definitely is not

karkat has insomnia while kankri just stays up stupidly late for assignments that really shouldnt be taken that seriously.. but they both have the same rumination/sleep anxiety thing where your brain goes insane with horrible and depressing scenarios as you try to sleep

and more ideas that i thought were interesting but idk how to fit in the context of this au:

signless and disciple getting married pretty late in life after having been in love for years, the vantases move in with the leijons and karkat suddenly has two sisters

nepeta and karkat are both juniors at this point, meulin is probably in her third year at a local college nearby while kankri is about to start his second year at a university pretty far away

the kids in general honestly but ill figure it out

more random hcs this time with kids:

kanaya and rose get into a flame war online that gradually settles into elaborate courtship rituals

also nepeta + jade online besties

also bec can inexplicably still teleport

the first sbahj movie comes out and the next six months of dave strider junior's high school career are absolute hell

actually hc that dave senior goes by d strider professionally. the d stands for a lot of things

aradia and dave frequent a lot of the same forums but never end up really interacting

meanwhile karkat and john frequent a lot of the same forums and DEFINITELY end up interacting. this turns into grudging (at least on karkat's part) friendship after they find themselves fighting for their lives defending an objectively shitty movie together on the same thread

[ofkanes]

me   pulling   up   wayyy   later   than   expected   :   👀👀,   fhdjs   hi   !!   i’m   nik   but   u   can   call   me   nikolaj   (   b99   stans   only      😤)   &   i’m   here   to   bring   my   mess   of   a   baby   kane   !!   ok   so   i’m   literally   too   excited   for   this   group   pls   don’t   @   me   .   before   i   start   i   just   wanna   say   that   all   ur   intros   ??   shakespeare   is   quaking   !!   send   tweet   .

[   jack   gilinsky   ,   he   /   him   ,   twenty   two   ,   cis   male   ]   do   my   eyes   deceive   me   ,   or   did   i   just   see   (   KANE   MORGAN   )   getting   out   of   the   car   in   hunnington   ?   i   guess   (   HE’S   )   living   around   (   ROCK   SPRINGS   )   ,   which   i   could’ve   guessed   .   hopefully   they   can   keep   their   (   -   SHORT   TEMPERED   &   -   COMPLACENT   )   shit   to   theirselves   ,   and   focus   on   being   (   +   ADAPTABLE   &   +   CHARMING   )   to   avoid   any   problems   .   and   for   the   love   of   god   ,   lets   hope   they   don’t   talk   about   the   (   HIDDEN   )   thing   .

ʙᴀᴄᴋsᴛᴏʀʏ 

ok lemme say that i envisioned kane as a movie bby , you’ll get what i mean in 2 secs . 

his two parents are both movie directors , his mother is an actress turned movie director . the morgan surname is well - known across the silver screens everywhere , not one that people take it lightly . here’s some background about his parents . 

tim morgan : father , but mostly known of his work as a movie director , i wanna say he has the career claim of frank darabont ( directed : the shawnshank redemption , the green mile , mary shelley’s frankestein , the walking dead ... etc ) . he earned his name despite being , at first , a nerdy film school student . very proud person , definitely snobbish . 

ingrid jackson - morgan : mother , but also a very good actress , i was thinking she had the career claim of michelle pfeiffer (  scarface , grease 2 , batman returns , hairspray , murder on the orient express ... etc ) . she comes from a line of models & actresses , so it’s no surprise there . 

now you have young kane morgan , now im ashamed to say he was named after citizen kane , his parent’s favourite movie ( rlly no taste ngl ) & you’ll never guess his middle name .... brando . that’s it , i’m cancelling him . 

but basically he’s a little accident that happened before the marriage , oops ? so really , an unhappy surprise for ms & mr morgan . his mother wasn’t very happy w his arrival because all she wanted to do was to work on movies & NOT take care of a child . 

don’t worry , cuz kane rlly felt that unhappiness ooze outta her . gr8 nannies though , he loves them . 

his father was happy to have someone to teach all his knowledge to , nerd alert , but that was one of the few moments he appreciated kane . that’s it . 

so one could imagine the disaster of a kid being brought up by movie stars ( read : nannies ) , not a stranger to cameras , red carpets & all that good stuff . 

ofc he was a child actor , his parents tried to put him in almost every movie they could , spreading that good morgan family name n all . kane didn’t think much of it , until he was old enough to understand .

he was definitely a little bratty , demanding attention from everyone all the time . being as fickle as they come , but that’s only because his parents didn’t give a flying fuck . 

as he grew up , still on the spotlight , he liked to be on & off the camera . some years , he yearned to be the center of attention & other’s he hated the job . very hard to keep up with . 

when he turned sixteen , he had his first ( & probably not last ) proper hollywood breakdown , almost as bad as brittany circa 2007 . he got a good role & was introduced to the bad side of hollywood . parties , drugs , shady people & all that good stuff . he was influenceable & fell into all the traps . it was only 2 years later that his parents were able to snap him out of it . they ofc paid all the tabloids to keep the good name out of their articles , but if you do your research , you’ll find some pretty pics of lil morgan . 

since then , he has cleaned up his act . ofc he took a couple of years off , went to college, tried to focus on himself & discover who he was ( he wasn’t only a morgan , he was kane !! who is kane ?? ) & he only started starring in roles recently , post college graduation . 

he just got off his first acting job post - hiatus & it’s a blockbuster . i was thinking maybe inspired on those coming of age movies ( à la hot summer nights but w more traction ) & people are freaking out !! kane morgan on the big screen ?? WHAT ?? he came back to nc before he decides on what to do next .

ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ

ok so you can already guess that kane morgan is no humble kid . i like to think he has layers , but ppl can’t be bothered to look through all of them . 

some would say that his major problems stem from the fact that his parents didn’t give him enough attention & the public gave him too much . 

having your parents’ attention ? that’s so 2002 . 

for the press i like to think he has this movie star facade down . you know the old charming james dean smile , handsome but kind . loves the underdog , very humble about his social standing . generous , outgoing & loved by everyone . 

idk i never met james dean , all the information i have on him is taylor swift’s song : style .  

now if we dig a little deeper , he’s still quite the charmer ( c’mon he’s an actor after all ) , but maybe not as humble nor kind . he can be quite rude & entitled , but has some good jokes . don’t get him completely wrong , he’s still a bit generous ( he gives 25% tips wow ) . likes a good party , but knows his limits . always down for a good time . 

if we go even deeper , oof , he’s a bit broken . never learned to love properly , all he has it’s movies , which we can all agree are shit if you’re gonna base your attachment type on it . he lives on his own little world & likes to keeps his guards up . a sweetheart really , you can see past all the snobby film critic bullshit & he’s just a boy who wanna have fun & have a good life like all those people on the screen . 

you   would   fucken   think   im   a   film   major   but   NO   ,   i’m   not   even   that   fancy   w   movies   .   and   after   all   reading   all   those   movies   titles   ur   head   must   be   spinning   ,   MINE   IS   !!   but   ily   &   ur   an   absolute   queen   /   king   /   monarch   if   you   read   thru   all   of   this   !!   let   me   tag   my   plot   page   below   hehe   ,   it’s   were   we   get   angstyyy   !

plot page babey

[becksfm]

hey CASEY “BECK” BECKHAM , welcome to dillon university . has anyone ever told you you’re GAVIN LEATHERWOOD’s twin ? no ? well okay , i heard you are TWENTY - TWO & a JUNIOR at the university . we hope BIOCHEMISTRY isn’t kicking your ass too much , especially since you’re a STUDENT PHYSICAL TRAINER . see you at the next game, BECK & character’s cismale + he/him . 

it’s me & i’m here for round fuckin’ two , friends . this time i bring you resident GOLDEN BOY . . . a whole 6′1 of soft boy energy . . . floppy overgrown curls . . . king of talking - your - way - out - of - everything . . . retired hockey player . . . a man of Many Talents , of which the most astounding is his ability to look like he’s got it all together when , in fact , he does not ! under the cut , you’ll find a lil more about him . . . & if you wanna plot hmu @ 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣#9956 on discord or pop into my ims here !! 

𝑩 𝑨 𝑪 𝑲 𝑮 𝑹 𝑶 𝑼 𝑵 𝑫 .

dillon , texas born & raised . on the outskirts of town is a ranch that is enough to house the beckham family: mom, dad, and all eight beckham children . beck is the second oldest , with one older sister , four younger sisters , and two younger brothers . . . not necessarily in that order . 

mother , sophia mattheson - beckham is a lawyer based in austin working with the ACLU , and father , michael beckham has a small private practice in dillon working as a pediatrician . they weren’t home often , but when they were , they spent as much time with the kiddos as possible . it’s just . . . they were so rarely home that it really didn’t matter. 

with the beckham name, though, comes the pressure to be SOMETHING GREAT , and that’s something that’s been a part of beck’s life since . . . he can remember . little league & kindergarten grades were always taken a little too seriously , and it didn’t help that his older sister was a shining example of perfection . 

growing up it was hard not to like him. he was quiet for the most part , but goofy when he wasn’t . there was a little extra charm about him that just gave him an all around magnetic pull . kids wanted to be his friend and he wanted to be theirs . he fit in , but around home , he was the odd man out . beck was always a little more interested in sports rather than math or music rather than reading . it wasn’t to say he wasn’t smart , it just kind of –– bored him?? where his family was v

there was give and take with beck–– the golden boy of dillon but the black sheep of the family . he could play hockey if he kept his grades up. he could take guitar if he was also on student government and model u.n.. his parents would applaud him on his grades but never cared to hear him play; they’d show up for debates but rarely ever saw a hockey game. it was touch and go, his relationship with them, and it still is.

DESPITE IT ALL though, you wouldn’t catch him complaining. he bore the crown of homecoming king his senior year and never went to a dance without a date. teachers loved him, so did his coaches. he found a best friend in one cameron sloane –– ( because of course he did ) –– when the sloanes moved to dillon , and they were an unstoppable kind’a duo on and off the ice.

when it came time to pick a college, he really . . . had his pick of the lot. coulda gone anywhere, but there were roughly six reasons , all with the same last name , that kept him close to home. his parents even agreed that if he went in as pre-med, they would pay for the whole thing . . . and even make time to watch him play hockey. 

things were good for a long while, until they weren’t. you can usually see the stars on the outskirts of dillon, but one night, his sophomore year, you couldn’t. storm clouds covered ‘em up, and he tried his damndest to get cameron to stick around a celebratory party until it passed, but sloanes are stubborn and there was no changing his mind. 

cam passing away was like losing a brother, and he spent countless hours pacing in a hospital waiting room . . . hoping for good news and never getting it. beck had never known loss like that, and it knocked him into a bit of a tailspin . he quit hockey and didn’t register for school the next year . he spent a lot of time at a family residence in austin and even more time drinking . for the most part . . . he kind of DISAPPEARED , losing himself in the process for a good nine months.

they say it takes a village to raise a kid, and it took a village to drag this one out of a spiral. his parents. his siblings. his friends. and eventually . . .  dillon’s football coaching staff. a loud knock on the door from coach buchanan and a swift kick in the ass from coach sloane, a man who knew the kid almost as well as he’d known his own son. come work for us, they told him . . . and it was a way to get him back on track under a watchful eye that. wasn’t quite as critical as his parents

so that’s where we are now . . . back at dillon, a year behind, and working with both the football and cheerleading team as a physical trainer, playing a heavy hand in making sure both teams are the best conditioned in the state of texas. his grades are looking up, and he’s still on the fast track for med school, much to his –– and his parents’s –– surprise. 

the beckhams don’t talk about his little stint of a spiral. no one in dillon does . . . unless in tones of hushed whispers alongside judgmental looks. beck doesn’t mind it too much ,though . . . even takes it as a challenge 

𝑷 𝑬 𝑹 𝑺 𝑶 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝑰 𝑻 𝒀 . ( i’m getting tired so this gon be ugly )

you want inspo?? i’ll give ya inspo!! richard campbell gansey the third ( dick 3 babiiiie ) is my main inspo for beck. you’ll also find a lil bit of jim halpert, a lil bit of rob maclanahan from miracle ( even tho he w as a real person too shhh ), and *insert big eyed emoji here* grizz from the society 

ever since he can remember, there’s been pressure on this kid to be something great . . . so he feels like if he has the capability to do something, he has to do it. . . there’s no choice in the matter. a lot of this stems. from his parents, but he’s also really just . . . overly critical of himself sometimes

boy is a fucking PARADOX okay bc sometimes . . . . with the way he talks. . . . he accidentally puts his damn foot in his mouth . he’s smart so occasionally comes off as condescending , but he’s . . . incredible in conversation with people he needs to impress because he’s hella charming

that said... this quote is REALLY important and REALLY summative of beck: “Gansey had always felt as if there were two of him: the Gansey who was in control, able to handle any situation, able to talk to anyone, and then, the other, more fragile Gansey, strung out and unsure, embarrassingly earnest, driven by naive longing.” –– let’s dive into that!! when he feels like he’s got a sense of control of the things around him, when he’s in his element or in his comfort zone, when he’s feeling confident , the boy is a force. he can talk you and anyone else out of any situation, and he has. he can make friends with anyone put in front of him, and he has. when beck is ON . . . he is on . . . but it’s a bit surface level because when he’s not wearing the crown of GOLDEN BOY and he’s . . . vulnerable . . . or unsure . . . or stressed . . . he tends to put that foot of his in his mouth and spit. out whatever it is he’s thinking. he’s honest to a fault in this sense, and he’s hopeful beyond compare. 

an introvert. . . . can CHARM u but doesn’t want to because honestly that is so draining and he’d much rather be at home. the popular type but only has a few friends that are really really close to him

loyal to a fault . . . will give you 392847 chances that you don’t deserve .. fool me once shame on you ! fool me twice shame on me! fool me three time what the fuck bro now ur just taking advantage of me 

very . .. calm and even tempered.  he’s a mediating type and like . . would rather find a conflict resolution than sWING u feel me

he’s cute.  .. . and. people love him but .  . . despite it all, he really doesn’t let that go to his head?? the boy was raised to believe you had to earn things and he’s just. idk . . .. humble king

eloquent as fuck ( lol good luck @ me writing that shit )

quick witted and very sharp

probably a lawful good type ngl :\

Does Not Do Well.With Change. when his older sister left dillon to go to notre dame??? boy damn near blew a gasket how dARE SHE go that far away!!! 

v close with his sibs . .. . activate Dad Mode. he loves all of them equally and definitely does not at all favor the 10 y/o baby brother of the family or his sister closest in age, who is also a student at dillon. doesn’t favor them ONE BIT 

u want a vibe for the beckhams??? “ the beckhams were courtiers and kings . when there was no castle to invite them, they built one” ( we stan ONE weird author lady named maggie)

insomnia!! the boy nEVER SLEEPS1! always thinking. always planning what’s next. gotta go gotta go gotta go.

kind of .. . a hopeless romantic :\ dated the same girl for most of high school but when she fucked off to ole miss she broke up with him in a text. so that .. . . . .. went well for him ..... still a dumb bitch tho and would love to hold ur hand

wire rimmed glasses, wool sweaters, light colored hoodies, distressed denim, cuffed pants, :\ chelsea boots :\

phobia of bees. there’s literally no reason for this other than my own, personal, geeked out pleasure

prank king

Smart Jock Type

plays guitar to relieve stress and you bet baby’s got some pipes here u go 

literally nothing like nicholas scratch DO NOT call him daddy

tall and doesn’t know what to do with all the extra limb like .  . . . . the fuck

will push you to your personal best in any conditioning circumstance

okay I THINK THAT’S ALL . . .. i’m a big fan of basic plots that kinda ebb and flow with chemistry BUT!! gimme the basics man . . . a roommate . . . a past hookup or two . . . some spicy friendships or . . . fRENEMIES even u know the drill

ok that’s all i hope u love him bc i am v nervous about playing A Man buT IT IS WHAT IT IS U KNOW

[bxstiae]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse - meme.

tagged by: i took it from @wildshero tagging: anybody who wants to i guess.... um... @lupihero / @hyaciiintho / @origcmibird / @dansiere / @drakslay / @fellcarnate / @gerudofury / @aerialarcher​ / there i added people. 

fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au ( dependent on verse ) / canon-divergent / fandomless

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / MAYBE

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO / MAYBE

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. ( it honestly depends who you ask, and when in the story it is. )

How strictly do you follow canon?  — I follow enough canon to not change the plot, but its very VERY lore heavy. and it diverges post game as well. Not to mention there are some discrepancies with my Link as well. namely his eye colour. his personality is BIT more jaded than canon. but then again, he is a character that is ( in theory ) YOU. so its how YOU play the game. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  — i mean. idk im not really a sellout in general....?? he’s... extremely interesting in the fact that you have a tired man(tm) who’s just about done with the world at such a young age. he’s the hero of hyrule, and has done many feats. he has interesting stories to tell. and he’s not at all a boring person. he’s a bit quirky, has a fan-base, and overall, who WOULDN’T want to interact with link? i mean its LINK. after all... not to mention that he’s not really PREDICTABLE for the most part. I mean he is kind of but also not at all. I just??? i think a lot of people find him interesting? he’s also very attentive at times. you literally have to throw a rock and he will look your direction. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — he is a selective mute. he WILL not talk. he will not approach you. you HAVE to approach him.... while he tends to be ‘OP’ he really isn’t. he’s still very much a human, and will react as such. its very hard to approach cause he has that ‘intimidating feel’ and lets not forget that he really does straight up ignore people if hey dont say anything to him. in that aspect it’s hard to interact with him. because its not like he ‘tunnel visions’ but he just wont pay attention to you if there is nothing to pay attention to. 

What inspired you to rp your muse?  — he’s been a muse for me since 2012. just always put on the backburner for a reason. but really? link was the ONE character that I could relate to. he was my go to guy. really. in high school, i struggled with friends and a lot of other things. but i pushed through. and honestly. link was ALWAYS a character that i turned to for that. it happened with Skyward Sword as well. when BOTW came out it was the same way. BOTW was my go to game in college because of link. so when i finally gt the wiiu version and started playing TP again, i was like. YEP im making him again. cause yes. the themes in TP are all themes that are right up my alley too. so of course i am going to find inspiration there. I ALSO found inspiration when i found some celtic music as well. I listen to msic when i write my replies. and when i was writing a reply on another blog. i found some celtic music and i just had THAT MOOD. 

What keeps your inspiration going? — the game. celtic music. honestly art. vines. anythign that reminds me of TP Link keeps me going. some of the interactions i have keep me going. the PLOTS i have keep me going.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO. 

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO. ( lol yea. )

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. ( i mean i love to write drabbles tbh. I don’t think i have on link, but I would always LOVE to. though if you look at some of my asks, they can be considered drabbles. lololol i love to write. )

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO ( link is the ONE muse i never EVER lose confidence in. which is why he is such a strong character for me. link is me. straight up. and i think somebody asked me that too. he’s NOT a self insert but. i can relate SO much to him in so many ways. but i love the way i portray him cause he is very unique. i just hope that my confidence doesn’t SCARE duplicates and other people cause i would never want people to be intimidated by THIS fact that i am confident. )

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. ( lol yea. honestly i love to write. though my style always changed and sometimes i worry about that. cause sometimes i have prose and sometimes i dont. but im an adaptable writer which i always loved about myself. )

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. ( yea. both. i am both. im sensitive ooc but want to say shit about my portrayal. i don’t really care. say shit about me, and then i get upset and sad. )

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  — depends n the criticism. I say this all the time. theres constructive criticism. and then theres. just plain hate. I accept anything thats constructive. I want to know what i need to work on or what people would want to see. link is an ever-changing muse. i learn and grow and i will take anything thats told to me nicely without the hate.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  — PLEASE. jsut send them my way i LOVE all the questions and character development. you dont even have to be a mutual for that.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  — yes and no. i mean its my HC. you are allowed to disagree with my HC. hoenstly. thats the beauty of INTERPRETATIONS. i dont expect every TP link out there to agree with all of my HCs. so long as we can all be mature adults about it and talk normally with one another. we gucci. like we are allowed to have different HCs. and honestly. I would want to know because i would want to know what YOU think about the ‘canon.’ cause it’s different. i like those differences.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  — idk why they would? its link? its the protag. and in a way its supposed to be different for each person anyway??? its like taking Robin or Corrin from FE. like people are allwoed to disagree with the portrayal i GUESS? but i don’t understand why anybody would like stragiht up HATE the portrayal. its just different? idk. 

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  — see above tbh. but honestly. depends. do you hate him for the portrayal. or do you hate him cause of his character personality. like you’re allowed to interact with ‘bad’ characters. not that i think anybody would HATE link? but you know i could be wrong??? idk how to answer this cause what do you mean by hate? you can hate a character. but still interact with them??? idk how to compute this question???

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  — yes and no. honestly. i know i make mistakes. but i don’t want grammar nazi’s. i write to relax. the only time i would want people to tell me is if they were trying to figure out what i meant. does that make sense. like if they are confused on something. then its okay to tell me. otherwise if its something that is just a small mistake that you can ignore. then its no big deal. its also how you approach me too. like approach with caution. i am a delicate flower. so don’t attack me for making a mistake.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  i am VERY VERY easygoing!!! I want to say im VERY kind. i am very accepting and EXTREMELY FORGIVING. no joke. I want to be the kindest person out there. I dont want people to be intimidated by me. I don’t want people to be scared of hurt by me. hoenstly. I am a very nice person. I may have different opinions but i am VERY respectful to everybody even those i do not agree with. Nobody should ever feel weird about me like ever okay? please don’t. I never want bad blood. so if something ever happens between us. you are always ALWAYS more than welcome to come talk to me when emotions have fizzled out. I am very apologetic too. so like?? idk??? who would???? consider me??? and asshole??? im tired. and i shut my door fast but its mainly cause... i am tired. nothing else has to do with it. i am very excitable and happy for people who talk to me. i consider ANYBODY who talks to me a friend. im jsut??? no really. i know people are shy. but im over her a big tired ball of fluff. i only want love and happiness for people. anybody who’s talked to me can testify to this. ♥♥

that’s about it, congrats for filling out!

[artigas]

(1) Hi! Its the anon that asked about lizzie and tatiana, I’m currently halfway through s5 and i really like jessie! I thought she was gonna be the one to finally resist tommys advances. I liked the scene where he goes to her apartment and they have a good back and forth. But alas she cant resist and sleeps w him, and he’s essentially just using her. I love her as a character and how she manifests her ideals into actions but, so far i thought she’d call out tommys shit by now!

And specially i cant help but resent how they set up the women to compete against one another, i rolled my eyes at the scene where they are exiting the polls and jesse and lizzie size each other up. Girls, please move on. I did like in season 5 where tommy is drunk meeting w jessie and she just gets up and leaves. I think the show has good female characters it just that they prioritize the male ones more. Unlike the women, the male characters dont revolve around a relationship. and finally, And idk if im just overthinking things but i think the show has upped its sexist comments? specially w tommy and arthur. W tommy telling lizzie shes his property and arthur telling linda to just be a good wife. Meanwhile polly and ada are really well written characters for the most part! Sorry this is so long i just have a lot of thoughts regarding the women of this show. And i love your analisis!

Nope! Don’t apologize, friend, I’ve absolutely adored reading all your feedback and your experience watching the show! I think Peaky Blinders, for all its good, has a lot of space to grow when it comes to women characters who are potentially romantically/sexually available to the protagonists- it does sometimes feel like the quality of writing and the depth of character for women characters waxes and wanes, but I also think that a lot of these characters- Lizzie, Grace, Polly, Esme, etc- have these great foundations, these building blocks of characterization that make them really compelling and really promising so long as they have free reign to be written as complexly and as thoughtfully as their male counterparts. I think Grace is a really stellar example, you know? Love her or hate her, she has a history, a back-story, individual motivations, and a social/political ideology that can actually really be broken down in some pretty interesting ways! Polly, too, is another character who is probably most obviously allowed to be pointedly ambitious, sexual, manipulative and outright cruel and still someone the show clearly roots for and sides with. I love what we get with Polly, especially considering how most shows would probably limit her to being maternal, chaste, and uninvolved in the family business (likely because of her age, too). Overall, I think the show does a good job of giving women characters flaws- none of them are meant to be perfect. But I really do think Peaky Blinders could benefit from occasionally resisting the urge to have all its women have romantic subplots, primarily with Tommy almost unexceptionally. 

As far as Jessie goes, I really do love that she’s someone who has this strong ethical and political foundation. I mean, Jessie and Freddie in a room together would’ve been a sight, right? I especially adored her scenes with Ada. I think they had such interesting chemistry and so much could’ve been done if the show had the real estate to really contrast Jessie’s idealism and dedication to the communist cause and Ada’s disenchanted relationship with that same movement she once honestly dedicated herself to. The fact that Jessie and Tommy both draw together because they represent to one (or, at least, invoke the memory of) their respective lost loves was also a refreshing change in terms of the sort of “romantic” relationships Tommy has had thus far. (How authentic we want to think that ‘relationship’ was from either Jessie or Tommy’s end is a different story and definitely worthy of suspect and investigation in the funnest possible way, I think, but I don’t wanna rant).

As far as season five goes, I think the hike in misogynist language and ideology wasn’t coincidental or without thought. I think Arthur and Tommy both are progressively getting worse as the show goes on and went through separate, but equally erosive psychological processes that took out a really ugly side to them both, especially in their relationship with the women in their lives. It felt to me like both characters were scrambling for control and finding a way to express authority over women who depend on them became one of the ways that need made itself manifest. I think it’s no coincidence that Lizzie and Linda look for solidarity in each other. I think their joint decision to write those letters, advocate their needs, and then respectively find some sort of approach to the state of their lives so that they could carry on with some semblance of safety, security, or (dare I say it!) happiness was interesting and heartbreaking- Linda tried to find it by leaving the family, finding another person to speak to and find solace with, and then eventually breaking down to the decision to attack Arthur and it hurt to see it! Lizzie’s own process was so complex, I think. I could go on and on about her belief that life wasn’t about what one deserves, but what one agrees to, settles for, etc. Her sex scene with Tommy, too, really just invites so much analysis and criticism, right? Which makes it, I think, a very effective sex scene as far as writing goes, because it isn’t a pause from characterization or plot, but rather a moment of intimacy between Lizzie and Tommy that reveals a different facet of their respective character developments. Was it kinda messy for Tommy to call her his property? Absolutely! But I also don’t want to dismiss how much I liked hearing Lizzie advocate some boundaries in that sex scene, too. It’s complicated, man! It’s a scene a lot of people have interpreted different and I’ve loved hearing all the different takes, there’s so much validity to be found in the different readings I’ve already seen out there. 

I think the show made no excuses for how awful Tommy and Arthur were being through season five. I think we as the audience are meant to recognize that their conduct and their comments weren’t something to emulate or exonerate, but instead symptomatic of their downwards progression throughout the season. It’s just a shame that these condemnations probably aren’t overt enough for the real Meat-Head faction of the fandom to catch onto- reddit is a nasty place to venture off into if you’re invested in any of Peaky’s female characters, that’s for sure. But man, if you’re here on tumblr, boy does this fandom have a lot of people churning out meta worth reading! If you want some blog recommendations, let me know!!! Thank you for keeping my in the loop with your watching journey ♡

[ingayderzim]

not to be that person who asks a googleable question but wtf is hazbin hotel bc i googled it and the only “critical” thing i could find was a typo-ridden article of someone saying it has good animation and its haters are stupid. i was able to glean what it is/what it’s about but idk about the discourse lmao

Im actually so glad u asked this. Here's the lowdown, this is my definitive answer to hazbin shit from here on out, unless new info comes about of course.

Hazbin hotel is an independent cartoon by vivziepop. Most people (that ive seen) have agreed that the pilot of the show really isnt that great but the reason it has so many fans is bc of the entertaining livestreams, massive amounts of canon content produced (she has had these characters for years), unique art style, and the characters. (Ass ugly but unique.)

Its haters are totally justified bc of some of the "controversial" (read: bad) things vivziepop has done. Here's the conclusion that my friends and classmates (several of whom are Black, one Hispanic woman, and one trans woman...nellie if ur reading this i 💜 u) and i came to after discussing this stuff. I am NOT saying "well my black/trans friend said it's ok so i dont have to think about it!" this is based on a few different conversations that my friends and i have had about this topic so what im saying is that my opinion was formed by talking about this situation with multiple people affected by the controversy.

One controversial thing is a drawing u can easily find on google (called beastiality.jpg i believe?) It's a cropped (chest and up, but hes obv naked) drawing of vivziepops character, drawn by vivziepop, moaning, with a snake around him. The character is 17. Many people have interpreted this as child porn. I dont think this image is pornographic, i think it's a stupid joke (it was even tagged as a joke iirc) and completely inappropriate but since it's 8 years old on top of not being porn, i think it's just an example of a dumb drawing. That being said, i would NEVER argue that someone who is uncomfortable w the drawing (im uncomfortable with it! It's gross just not porn) or considers it porn is wrong. They are entitled to that opinion and i would never expose them to vivziepops work or talk about her stuff around them if they expressed to me that they disliked the image.

Another thing is that she drew a doodle of two racist TERFs. This is the one where my friends of color, my friends who are black, and my friends who are trans women took the lead. I sat back for this part and here's their and my opinion on this after talking about it and verbally going through this whole situation.

She was following these women (who had done blackface and stuff) and drew art of them. The art was a "quick doodle" that she did apologize for and she said she didn't realize the extent of their beliefs. She knew they werent great but hadnt consumed much of their content in depth. I believe her bc while ive never followed anyone as bad, ive certainly followed some pieces of shit and didnt notice for months simply bc im not online all the time and bc of the volume of people i follow, combined with the non chronological algorithms lately.

At the risk of screwing myself, im going to admit that there was about a year or so of my life where i enjoyed The Amazing Atheist. I was even subbed to him. I was a nonbinary lesbian (2 things he cant stand lmaoo) in catholic school and therefore i strictly watched his videos about theological stuff since thats what was frustrating me at the time. I had no clue the type of evil racist, transphobic, homophobic (yes ik hes bi), misogynistic things he thought, said, and did, bc i didnt watch those videos. I literally only watched select theological ones that could be of use to me while edgily debating my teachers (sorry mrs macdougal but u had it coming). I was about 15 at the time and im 19 now. Im sorry to everyone i hurt by ever having supported him. I had one of his quotes written in the inside of my religion notebook in high school. I regretted it and ripped the page out the moment i discovered the truth about him. I cant stress enough how much I HATE HIM. Thats an example of what i think happened here tho.

One of my friends who is a trans woman said (paraphrasing) "i think the worst thing shes done is that terf art but i believe the apology especially bc it was a quick drawing."

That being said, i would NEVER argue with someone who wanted nothing to do w vivziepop bc of this. That's their right. 100%. I would never expose them to her work after that.

The last thing i remember is something about a pedophilic couple in a comic but i heard it was a 17 year old and a 19 year old. Im 19 and if one of my peers did that i wouldnt say pedophile but id say ur a fucking weirdo, BUT, the kids were fake and being written by an adult so i can totally see her thinking that age gap is much less of a big deal than it really is. Like she forgot what it's like at this age. Idk how true any of that part is tho, i heard that info entirely secondhand.

Another thing to do with racism is that there's a joke within the show where one character says to the other

"don't get your taco in a twist"

"Was that supposed to be racist or sexist?"

"Whichever one pisses you off more"

I thought that was gross but one of my friends pointed out that vivziepop is of el salvadorian descent so that's her business. Like if i made a lesbian joke of equal or greater offensiveness than that and someone tried to call me lesbophobic over it id be like "that's literally my territory."

Oh speaking of which that character's name is vaggie and shes a lesbian but it's not pronounced w the same G you'd hear in "vagina." Vivziepop seems to name characters weirdly (like how in helluva boss theres a guy named blitzo and the o is silent) so maybe it's a pussy joke but i have no idea.

The animation was.................better than i could do, i wanna say the faces and gestures were good but god i remember there was a part with a car and my gf had to pause so i could laugh my ass off at it. I wouldn't describe the animation as a highlight but i liked the style in motion i thought it was a fun change. Vivziepops style is not appealing imo but i appreciate it as an art student and as someone whose friends all like she ra and steven universe where every character looks the goddamn motherfucking same, and while its chaotic and i dont care for it, the style actually works way better in motion than you'd think.

A good rule that i def use is to assume hazbin fans are guilty until proven innocent. If someone says they dont care about the discourse surrounding it and like it no matter what, RUN! They would support the show even if the creator was in fact a pedophile, or had done the blackface/was a terf herself! They probably support some horrible ppl and are probably "anti antis." A lot of them are minors tho so i'd say block and move on.

So, do i like it or not? Im an art student and all my friends like it so while i didnt think it was funny, i do fuck with it. At the convention this weekend my friends and i had a convo that led to me drawing an ahego hoodie where the faces were angel dust (a character's) face. It was a joke that i could make a killing by selling that in a booth at a con.

Theres really nothing compelling about the show but my friends like it so i join in on their conversations, and i do have a soft spot for angel dust bc he's like a worse, less amazing and gorgeous version of one of my characters, Candy, the love of my life.

A lot of people say the show was edgy/offensive and maybe im just desensitized but besides the taco thing i didnt pick up on that whatsoever??? The Archer episode "Swiss Miss" is worse than helluva boss and hazbin combined and even archer isn't offensive.

Im probably not aware of all the "discourse" (aka people being reasonably uncomfortable by weird and bad shit this random woman has done, and other ppl saying their opinions are wrong when it's literally just an opinion about a show) so if anything she's done isnt included in here it's not to defend vivziepop, this is genuinely all i know. I wouldnt describe myself as a fan of hers.

[soulswimmr]

Thoughts on s6~

Putting it all under a cut because I can’t not talk in lengthy paragraphs. Feel free to shoot an ask/message if you want to talk about s6, too

Ok wowie, good season. There were noticable weak points, but I’ll address those along the way. First let’s talk about the 

Plot

It was good. It was surprisingly good. The hidden altean thing where they bold faced put that Lotor was responsible for hundreds or thousands of deaths teeters way out of kids’ show territory. They were not fucking around with that. The fact that they made it clear that the plot was not just paladins vs Galra (esp with Lotor wanting to do away with the Galra), but more along the lines of paladins vs lotor vs generals vs sendak vs so on and so forth makes it not just more complex, but stacks the odds against voltron and adds good suspense. Clone shiro was incredible. It was everything i’ve been waiting for. 

The fight scenes, inside and outside voltron (cough cough KeithvsKuron) were breathtaking. Everything about Krolia was very well put together. THE ANIMATION WAS BREATHTAKING. 

On that note (and dipping into characterization a little bit), they kinda layed it on thick with Lotor romanticizing Allura. He was too goody goody and it made the betrayal lose a little impact (aside from the whole mass murderer thing). there’s a difference between that and foreshadowing. 

Idk why the huge timeskip with Keith and Krolia stuck on that mission bugged me a little, but it did. A timeskip makes sense and is a cool tool to use for the fam to get to catch up, but it just felt. Strange. Two years is a long ass time. Keith was completely unaffected seeing the team again. One could argue that this was bc of the mission, or Krolia teaching Keith how to be a member of the blade and have Super Mission Focus, but still, for Keith to have that much almost-off camera development and not be at least startled to see voltron again was weird. I love my mom to pieces but two years alone with her and eventually I’d go a little nuts.

Characterization

That last point brings me right into characterization, and unfortunately this one is gonna be a little more on the critical side. For the most part, characterization/character focus was well balanced this season. But there were some Moments.

Everyone on team voltron developed, and it was arguably best executed this season than any other. We got to see some great Coran moments, where he really felt like a member of the team. Hunk having a no-nonsense teacher, even just for like 15 minutes lol did him good in terms of communicating with their new allies. Hunk is a people-person, and it shows very well. His camera time wasn’t 100% food related all the time, in fact, barely ever. Bravo.

Pidge of course got her own arc, but it was still a GREAT moment when she admitted to having the coding on Shiro’s arm uploaded and on hand just in case. It was CHILLING when she made eye contact with Kuron before he took off. This is, imo, how Dreamworks should’ve handled other characters who didn’t quite have the spotlight in previous seasons. Not a whole lot of moments, but when they were there, they had impact. I hope they continue to do this.

Do I even need a section for Keith? Holy shit. My boi finally accepting his role as Black Paladin and so much more. :’) I won’t elaborate because c’mon, it was in part, a Keith-centric season

Same for Allura. She really is the heart of Voltron. We got to see a lot of sides of her. 

Lotor being a psycho bitch but still having genuine feelings for Allura?? good shit

LANCEY LANCE. Bless him, Dreamworks is doing their best. In terms of his relationship with Allura, seeing him going from meaningless flirting to serious heart to hearts and a team player was fantastic. BUT I have some grievances, here we go.

Lance got a mini-arc and it was great, and he very clearly grows and changes, this is great! However, regardless of ships, seeing it centric to a romantic relationship, and basically being a rebound for Allura was ahhhhhhehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh eh. 

Pidge and Hunk teasing Lance about his crush was normal, and them pretending to be Lotor and Allura was adorable and hilarious, but Lance was really hurting and when they didn’t stop and just walked out, I???? What. That, to me, is out of character. Hella out of character. Lance is their friend, and they should be?? Friendly??? I was mad @ them

Finally, as much as I love broganes and the great arc they had, they’ve had a tremendous amount of camera time. We’re well away that they’re practically inseparable. What I really wanted to see was the whole team being involved with finding out about Operation Kuron. With Lance seeing Real Shiro in the astral plane, I was really on board with him pulling aside Keith when he came back and be like “ey dude I saw some fucked shit”, and them rescuing Shiro together was a theory I was personally super into. Was kind of disappointment that we didn’t see the relationship between Shiro and the other team members deepen a little more.  

Ships

If you don’t want to read about ships feel free to stop here and thanks for reading!! Message me if anything I said caught your eye.

First of all, daaaaaaamn that Allurance.

I’ve shipped allurance for a while now, more casually than other ships, so to see Lance change and mature and support Allura while Allura started to show that she really values Lance meant a lot to me. It’s good to see Lance grow up a little. For everything that they were this season, forced was most certainly not one of them. Their relationship felt organic.

However, it was not without flaws. I can’t help but feel like Lance was treated like a rebound, and was almost too? supportive??, and it was telling when Allura was talking with the mice, upon them snITCHIN ON LANCE DAMN MICE, she frowned sadly. I have to wonder if she actually returns his romantic feelings. And I do like the ship a lot, casually and aesthetically. But at the end of the day, what I was hoping to see was a really solid friendship. I think from here they don’t need to be straight up romantic. Their relationship is no doubt one of the strongest in the show, but I think it would be an incredible writing path to keep their friendship, because allurance has been hinted since episode one, and I think it’s almost?? Too easy for the writers to turn it romantic. I think Allura and Lance are a great team and very compatible for friends, but uhhhh read on.

I’ll just address the elephant in the room and come clean, yeahhhhh I like klance and yeeeaaahhhhh I would have really liked to see some more content this season, so sue me lmao. 

If I’m gonna be really blunt about my feelings, I feel like klance is a fantastic direction for Dreamworks to take. I feel like it would be good writing to make klance endgame. Why? Because it’s the path of least resistance. That’s why so many people like it. Keith and Lance were so salty at the beginning, but the crew made an effort to show that in moments that were particularily tough, they have loads of potential and can be very good for each other, romantically or platonically. It’d be harder to write, it’d take time, but I think it’s a worthwhile pairing. And there are definitely some moments that are super disruptic to both Keith and Lance’s development when they, Lance especially, straight up regress in their development and fight for no reason. I think it’s unfair, and it almost always makes me go “wait I thought they were starting to get along better??”. Now that Allurance is a thing, I’ve stated in another post that, because it would be strange for Lance to have two romantic arcs, it’s pretty unlikely that klance will actually happen. Do I think they teased us? Yeah. Do I think they straight up qbaited us? Not really. In the end, my biggest hope is that they continue to develop Keith and Lance’s friendship and don’t abandon the really strong potential they have together. Don’t let them regress, Dreamworks.

I’m not gonna address she/th (or tag it, because who goes into the tag looking for someone to say IM NOT A FAN OF XYZ JUST THOUGHT U SHOULD KNOW) too much because I’m personally not a fan. There’s so much about their relationship associated with “brothers”, and Keith looking up to Shiro that it just doesn’t rub me right in terms of romance. I had to wonder if they aged Keith up two years to justify possible future she/th?? if it happens I’ll be bummed, and I think the random aging up is kind of a cop out, but hey, it’s their show.

RIP Lotura. I stopped shipping it and figured out Lotor was a hoe after his third Dramatic ‘Let’s Bring the Universe Together’ Speech to appeal to Allura’s sense of duty. It’s a shame tho, I was really digging it at the end of season 5

PUNK FOREVER YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY

Thanks 4 coming to my ted talk, get in my ask and discuss w/ me ovo

[stephhannes]

I Was a 23 Year Old Widow & Here’s Where I Went From There

a friend sent me a link to a refinery29 article today (I’m A 31-Year-Old Widow, & I Don’t Know Where To Go From Here) and it felt exactly like something i would have written three years ago, when i was in my first year of widowhood. it basically is something i’ve written three years ago. i remember all of those same feelings, am i doing this right? how do i navigate being hot and young but also a grief-stricken widow? 

the most important lesson i’ve learned in the last three years is this: the world doesn’t revolve around me. 

every time i start freaking out about the nuances of grieving i remind myself, the world doesn’t revolve around you, dummy. and nothing has been more freeing. 

everything in my life revolves around my grief, but there is no one else around me that’s thinking about it as much as i am. so much of my anxiety was defined by if i felt like i was grieving appropriately, in a way that society would approve of- but society isn’t thinking about me and my grief. and if they are, who gives a shit? talk to me when your partner unexpectedly dies at the age of 23. 

when i came back to social media after nathan died, i remember getting comments on photos like “oh, it’s so nice to see you smiling!” that made me so self-conscious. is it too soon to be smiling? is it ok to be having fun with my friends right now? 

i returned to dating apps within a year of nathan’s death, and i kept it secret for a very long time. i didn’t want people to think i was moving on. i wasn’t moving on, i was lonely! i was afraid that people would see me on tinder and be like “oh, she’s not that sad i guess” i was that sad! that’s why i was reverting to the ol’ faithful coping mechanism of entertaining gentlemen callers! 

as someone forced to live in my own grief, of course i was out here catastrophizing every situation possible. i stayed awake at night stressing over ok so when i do eventually date again: when do i tell him that i’m a widow? (literally just whenever it comes up in conversation) is it weird to talk about nathan all the time? (not really, is it actually any different than when someone talks about their ex? if anything, it should be less uncomfortable, my ‘ex’ is dead, there’s no threat there) do i take down the pictures of nathan before inviting someone to my house? (no, it’s my house).

in the piece i wrote 20 days after nathan died, this is what i was panicking about:

And I know that it’s only been a few weeks since Nathan died, but I feel the weight of the 21st century coming down on me already. Theoretically, he and I were so lucky to have found each other so early, not having to navigate our 20s with awkward dates and rifling through dating apps. But in reality, now that’s where I’m going to have to find myself again. I don’t know how to date someone that I haven’t already known for 10 years. When do I tell someone I’m a widow? How much is appropriate amount to mention my dead fiancé during a blind date? When is the appropriate time to update my Facebook relationship status to ‘single’? When am I supposed to take off my engagement ring and show my face on 6th street?

What’s an appropriate tinder bio?

“Hi, I’m Stephanie. I used to be engaged but now I’m not! Hit me up!”

How do I navigate a new relationship with someone when I know that they will never know me as well as Nathan did? I can spend all day talking about who I was in high school, I can explain with detail every moment of my collegiate years, but no one will truly know who I was during those times because they weren’t there.

and here’s the update on that, 3 years later:

as previously mentioned, i’ve had success just bringing it up whenever it happens to come up. i played around with immediately being like “hey i’m steph i’m a widow what’s poppin?” but i think it’s a little more palatable to lure someone in with my insufferable personality and then be like “oh btw im a widow lol” 

i went through a phase where i would tell stories about my time in new york, but omit the fact that the reason i lived there was because of my fiance. or i’d tell stories about “an ex” without being like “well the ex is actually my dead fiance” but that felt weird, so i transitioned to just literally talking about nathan, my dead fiance, whenever i want to. and shockingly, it’s gone over pretty well. men are a lot more receptive to hearing about your ex that you’re still kinda in love with when your ex is dead.

my facebook relationship status is still not updated to single. but i did take it off my profile altogether after about two years. 

i took off my engagement ring about 6 months after nathan died. it was a whole thing. i was tired of people seeing it and assuming i was engaged, and asking me about it and then being forced into being like “oh haha well i’m not engaged anymore” i showed my face on 6th street and hated it, not because of my status as a widow, because i’m 26.

i’m banned from tinder, but my bumble bio is “self made hundredaire / used to work on broadway / never eaten a grape before / very passionate about the monster mash and sparkling water” people seem to like it.

if i could go back in time and whisper to myself “shhh you sweet summer child it literally doesn’t matter” god, i would. i sucked in high school, thank fucking god no one knows what i was actually like then. i was unbelievably depressed in college, we don’t need to re-live that in detail. i’m literally so cool now, and that’s really all that matters. like, i’m fun and a boss babe and smart and hilarious and mysterious (but let’s not focus on the mystery just yet) so does it really matter if someone doesn’t immediately know the nuances of my 15 year old psyche?

+++

when talking about my relationship with nathan, i’ve always framed it as “i know it’s not the end all be all of relationships” and i still firmly believe in that. like the ann druyan quote- “we knew that we were the beneficiaries of chance. we found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.” we had a dope relationship, it ran its course, i learned a bunch of shit about myself and what i need moving forward, and now it’s time to move forward. 

and in moving forward, i have to keep reminding myself that accepting relationships as they come into my life is a fun and exciting experience. it doesn’t have to be daunting and serious and terrifying. part of that has been just forcing myself to get out of my head, stop overthinking everything, and remember that the world does not revolve around me. there’s something about being able to just take what i need, leave what i don’t, for as long as it lasts and being fine with things when they eventually end. 

it’s been kind of hilarious finally going through scenarios i used to agonize over in the middle of the night. everything that i imagined to be a huge deal has been actually, not a deal at all. i had a conversation with a friend a couple of months ago where i was like “i just want a toxic relationship to pass the time,” and she was like “are you saying that because that’s actually what you want, or are you saying that because you’re afraid of being genuinely intimate/vulnerable with someone that’s not nathan?” and i was like, ok first of all i didn’t come here to get dragged like that and secondly…yeah, maybe. 

the vulnerability thing is still tough for me- very much not a fan of talking about my feelings without masking it with comedy. but every step i’ve made in that direction, i’ve been able to do without guilt or questioning myself. 

the first time someone other than nathan slept in my bed, i was worried that i would end up upset- it was fine. i was like “oh, i forgot how nice it is to wake up not alone.”

when i found myself in a vaguely toxic relationship i realized “yeah ok, that’s definitely not what i want.” the last time that person left my house, my first thought was “i miss nathan.” and it wasn’t even necessarily nathan that i missed. i missed being around someone that made me feel like they idk…..cared about me as a person and like…..respected me. 

i spent a lot of time seeking out people that i thought were similar to nathan, and then i realized that the qualities i was attracted to were just the bare minimum of human decency.  the things that i loved the most about my relationship with nathan weren’t necessarily qualities that were exclusive to him (they were things he was very good at, but so are a lot of other people). his willingness to listen to me tell the same stories over and over, his patience with all of my anxiety, how much he loved just spending time around me, the way he valued and respected my opinions, his ability to remember very tiny details, our effortless rapport. 

and at the same time, i’m recognizing strengths in other people that fill in where nathan had some weaknesses. the fact that none of my friends liked him, his inability to cope with my depression, all of the times he’d ask for forgiveness rather than permission, his unwillingness to accept criticism when i was upset with him, or the way he’d continue to push buttons i’d repeatedly asked him to leave alone. 

+++

so maybe it’s the zoloft, or maybe it’s just growing up a little bit- but letting go of all of that anxiety has really allowed me to feel a lot lighter. it feels good to finally be present in all of my relationships, not concerned about how anything looks- rather, just concerning myself with shit that feels right. i’ve always been a pretty solid judge of character, and as soon as i stopped doubting myself, the quality of person that came into my life was immediately a lot better, weird. it’s almost like the only opinion that truly matters....is my own. 

[mikabee]

Omg I found my "meta" on Mary way before S4. The question was posted on some sherlock community outside tumblr. Is Mary really evil? I personally don't believe in terms like "evil" or "good" beause nobody's completely one or the other. And i can't say im 100% sure on what's the deal on Mary. But i do believe we don't know all there is yet, and I have a feeling she is a high-functioning sociopath. Yep, what Sherlock claims to be, but is not (a whole another topic). Why? Let's analyse the symptoms. • Compulsive lying- "As part of their facade ((facade? remind you of anyone?)) sociopaths are compulsive liars and will rarely speak truthfully, making them hard to pin down." Mary has lied about her family, her being an assasin, even her real name. Oh, but its just about her background, its one big lie and not compulsive lying? Even before Sherlock found out all that, the first time he was making deductions and they were flooding the screen fast, if you paused, the word "Liar" was already there. Most probably because he knew she had been lying to John about liking his moustache. A small lie, but Sherlock took note of it, because people who find it easy to lie most likely do it a lot. Also, if Sherlock was right about Mary befriending Janine for Magnussen (even so close to ask her to be her bridesmaid), it would have needed quite a bit of lying. • Lack of empathy- "Inability to feel sympathy for others or to understand the emotional consequences of their actions" Now, we can't really know if she is faking sympathy or not. But when John found out about her lies, she wasn't sympathetic of him, she only thought about her losing him. She didn't care about how John felt. • Charming, charismatic- "While the sociopath is unable to fully understand the emotions of others, they are capabe, but rather highly adept at mimicking them and might appear to be charming and normal at first" A lot of people loved Mary when she first appeared on the series, even those who thought they wouldn't, and so did John- she truly was charming. But in ep3 we found out, it was just a facade, the real Mary was far from charming and normal. • High IQ- I don't even need to say much on this one. Not just anyone can be a secret intelligence agent. • Narcissism- One of her first lines in the show was "I agree, im the best thing that could have happened to you." Now, I loved that line at first (though it was there after John stuttered and probably thought that the best thing would've been Sherlock), and I love female characters who are confident like that, as they're rare nowadays. But is it just confidence or already narcissism...? • Manipulative- "Sociopaths use their superficial charm and high IQ to manipulate others to get their ends" Staging a death to flee her country of origin, taking up a new identity, manipulating Janine.. • Cold, calculating nature- "The ability and willingness to use others around them to personal gain" Very similar to previous point. In Watsons have a Domestic, and when shooting Sherlock, and when hugging John after Sherlock had woken up, she seemed really cold and calculating to me... • Paranoid- "Often their lack of understanding of emotion along with their incongruos self view means that they feel a lack of trust and paranoia." Not much for this one, but she is extremely paranoid for John to find out her past and to lose him. Maybe its just love, but she certainly doesn't trust him, knowing John, he'd possibly forgive Mary much faster if he didn't find it out from her shooting his best friend. Its certainly doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me. • Shifting the blame - Nop it was tootally not Mary's fault for lying to John the entire time, it was his, he's the one who chose her, "it's what you like" she's totally innocent...not. • Secretive- She shoots her husbands best friend, just to keep secrets from her past. It has always puzzled me, why shoot him as "surgery"(HE DIEDD but lets pretend), when she most probably knows that wouldn't keep Sherlock from telling John, plus he offered help- she could've worked with him, and then she'd get to actually shoot Magnussen that time. • Impulsive behavior - "A lack of regret and empathy makes sociopaths more likely to make sudden rash decisions based on the current facts." Again, shooting Sherlock when there were many other ways out of that situation. And im pretty sure she didn't feel regret or empathy for shooting him, pointing a gun at "him" again in Leicester gardens. • Shallow emotion- "Lack of real emotion in response to events, limited capacity to feel love" This one's tricky, because i have conflicting scenes of her in emotional moments. In Watsons have a Domestic she seems very unattached from the conflict to me. No outbursts of emotion, John and Sherlock are more like the ones having the domestic tbh- she just seems unaffected and...calculating. And she never apoligized. Not once. After months of not talking to John she doesn't seem even a bit remorseful, saying in a mocking manner "Oh, are we doing conversation today?". And then, when John throws the flashdrive in the fire, she cries and seems to be very emotional. So i have no idea. Symptoms I couldn't point to Mary (some because of insufficient information): • Sexually deviant • Sensitive to criticism • Authoritarian • Low tolerance for boredom • "Triad of sociopathy" - traits that often are demonstrated in sociopaths from a young age. Include animal cruelty ((she's a cat lover so not likely)), bed wetting and pyromania ((we don't know her childhood)). (((note added post-s4: pyromania, Eurus much))) Am I saying all sociopaths are "evil"? No. If Mary really is not faking any emotions, if her looking cold and never apoligizing to John is just from shock or idk what, if she shoots her husbands best friend just because she loves him a lot and would never want to hurt him just for her own secret...except thats what she does...but if all that is just her being in love, that's a horrible kind of love. But if she is a sociopath, and has been acting all along, faking her love- or at least faking that its healthy, not obsessive like sociopaths and psychopaths can have- then her actions would be classifiable as "evil" by most people. As i said, this is a whole other topic, but I don't think Sherlock is a sociopath like he claims. Sherlock was driven by selfless love (shooting Magnussen, even though it sends him away from John), not selfish one like Mary (shooting Sherlock, hurting John, just so she could stay close to him). And I think Mary is here for Sherlock to realise he is not one- he is not like her, he feels emotions. Just like Moriarty was there ,who i believe was a psychopath, to show the difference between him and Sherlock. Plus there's the theory Morstan is Moran... And Sherlock restarted his heart because he thought John is "definitely" in danger from Mary. When back alive, he does say to John she's trustworthy, but why was he so sure before she wasn't that he even literally came back to life because of that? (and the whole "surgery" thing baffles me, he WAS dead for a moment, doctors were even giving up on him, walking away, until yknow, power of love~~ But she couldn't have possiby foreseen THAT). In the end, I could be wrong about all of this. But I will still love Mary a lot as a character, as a villain, if she'll be a role to make Sherlock realize he isn't a sociopath, or if she's just a very flawed human being who made bad choices, and will hopefully have character development next season. ((post s4 note: lmao u wish past Mika, that "redemption" did nothing for me)) But since S4 is about consequences, I hope Mary pays for what she's done, but i also hope she doesn't just die, thats the easy way out, I want John to choose Sherlock over Mary on his own accord, not cause she dies. ((post s4 note: ha))