#they have to treat him like an adult ADULT now and I don’t think they like that
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I opened up to my mom about age regression
(if you are reading this and are new to my blog I am high support needs autistic and I already have childish interests please don’t say I’m infantilizing autism)
So first of all she kind of knew something was up with me, I brought my plushie with me to my disability day program. I showed her my blog, she said she hadn’t logged into my account to check yet so it was a surprise to her. First of all she was very proud and said I was brave for opening about some of my struggles and being so candid about it, I don’t know if it’s bravery or just autism making it so I don’t know what’s appropriate to share haha. Then I showed her my posts about age regression and how I learned about it here and was like, instant hyper fixation for me. I told her about how I never felt negatively infantilized by her and my dad almost never compared to people at school or strangers and I enjoy the connection we have when my parents kind of “baby” me the right way when they take care of my support needs. Like I need to have physical touch to calm me down and being cradled and my diaper changes are met with nick names, hugs and tickles, yeah very embarrassing I’m sure but whatever. I told her about “little space” and how I already enter it when she takes care of me sometimes and she said she always knew something like was going on but never pushed me or into it and made sure I was enjoying myself in those moments. She said if it would make me happy she and my dad would for sure be willing to help me out with little space. I told her that I want to take the power back from people who infantilized me negatively and assume I can’t think for myself by doing this and that surprised her but she said it made sense. I mentioned that I want to keep what independences and adult privileges I do have and I don’t want them to think I want this 24/7 and they said of coarse they will and I trust them. She had a talk with my dad real fast and they agreed to let me spend some of the money I saved up doing internet surveys, like a hundred dollars for an age regression starting pack essentially, my dad asked if this is really what I want and I guess the way I looked at him after and nodded made him believe me. My dad talked to me about how it’s important to keep my regression inside so others don’t get the wrong idea and I said of coarse and I shouldn’t do more then take my plushie with me in public and I agree. However I’m getting an adult sized bottle and pacifier, a mobile for my special needs cubby bed and a few fisher price toys. I am over the moon ecstatic and my mom said she’ll throw in the money for overnight shipping cause I earned it for using coping mechanisms when meltdowns could of gone worse lately.
I told them about pet regression too and they were still supportive of me being interested in it, they said they would feel uncomfortable with treating their disabled child like a pet personally and I can see where they’re coming from on that. They told me that one day I can find someone special to do that stuff with. As you can imagine dating is really hard with my level of needs but I’m not completely discouraged I’ll find somebody but that’s a post for another day. We did have a talk about how much I enjoyed being on an anti elopement harness and how I would pretend play as a puppy when out on walks with her, she said she knew had a feeling that’s what I was doing. Also I had my pacifier till 4 or 5 years and she said me giving it up was one of the hardest things she saw me go through and joked about it like I’m a drug addict about to relapse on it. I still have so many oral stims and use chewerly throughout the day so I think she has a point. Imagining what a paci would feel like in my mouth makes me feel so happy. I am just excited all around and can’t wait till tomorrow. For now my mom asked if I wanted some “little time” tonight and of course she said yes. We watched In the Night Garden on the big TV while she stroked my hair and cuddled when I normally only watch shows like that on my tablet as a form of stimming I guess. It was nice watching it where I could relax. I felt extra giggly at all the dumb stuff in the show, my friends describe it as an “acid trip” if that gives you an idea about what it’s like. My mom after the episode tickles me down and played games with me like I did when I was a little kid and I loved it. I started crying tears of happiness because I felt so loved I guess you could say. She teared a little bit too and told me every mother secretly wishes they could still baby their grown children so she said she had fun, I don’t know if it’s true or not but it’s a funny thought.
I feel so happy I wanted to write this out and share with you guys. I don’t know what else to say I think I wrote out enough. Now my mom wants me to get into my pajamas early I think she’s having too much fun with this but so am I and my dad is gonna run to get some of my favorite ice cream when I was a kid. I feel so lucky to have parents who can support my physical and emotional and disability support needs.
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What's the most untrue and ridiculous Loki take you've ever heard?
As of recent events, as well as not so recent events… that Loki is not at all evil/that he cannot have aspects of evil, because he is a victim of abuse. It’s a bad way to view not only fictional characters, but real life people as well in all honesty. I don’t fuck with that sort of rhetoric of viewing people as inherently innocent in EVERY single act that they commit just because they are a victim of abuse. Acknowledging that victims of abuse can do wrong is not taking away from the abuse that they faced. Some dumbass shit.
Loki’s reserved behavior automatically equals that he’s hiding every aspect of who he is because he hates himself. He can only be happy if he’s bouncing off the walls. 🤦🏻♀️
One of the most annoying ones for me is always going to be that Tumblr post that said Loki is 17 years old because a bunch of people started taking that seriously. HE IS PLAYED BY A MAN WHO WAS PUSHING 30. It’s a dumbass way to view fictional ages. People do this with Mipha from the Legend of Zelda too. She’s 100+ years old, but is technically an older teenager/young adult, because that’s how her species ages. We can accept bird people, enemy mobs as a whole, and a talking tree, but not the fact that a fictional race of FISH PEOPLE age differently from Hylians/other Zelda species, and have different standards of age in their culture. THAT’S what’s unlikely to them lol.
That he would prefer Laufeyson as a last name. I understand why some people think that it’ll help separate him from Odin, but in all honesty… it may be even worse. It’s tied to his background, which he hates. And he has no love for Laufey. It “others” him even more. He is Loki of Asgard. “Laufey’s Son?” He hated that.
I think this one’s a bit biased due to being an enjoyer of historical accuracy, but people HCing Loki as easily loving VERY modern Midgardian things (that don’t have any sort of familiarity to him) irks me. His ass would NOT love artificial sweeteners as soon as he is straight out of Asgard!!! Maybe he will in the unforeseeable future who knows. BUT NOT RIGHT NOW GIVE HIM TIME! Oh and obviously people treating Loki as a modern Midgardian and not as an ancient god. Let him be weirded out/bewildered by modern concepts please it’s fun!
Shit I’ve heard a whole LOT of worse ones why can’t I think… obviously, any takes that justify the series. Any takes that justify mischaracterizing Loki.
I do really dislike the fanon impression of Thor 1 Loki being an innocent baby. Not innocent as in his actions, but as in his amount of intelligence. He obviously was done very wrong and was a victim, but why do we have to act like he was a naive character in every single aspect? He gets woobified REALLY badly which sucks because Thor 1 Loki is so interesting. He’s intelligent and he didn’t just become intelligent because he was wronged.
Erm… I’m really trying to think here…
Honestly, takes that take away from Loki’s actions. Or any takes that HEAVILY blame him. Obviously, any takes from casual MCU fans who love the series and try to justify how the variant was mocked and belittled 🤢 any takes on OG Loki that use the series as a source.
Yeah there’s definitely a whole lot of worse ones i could go for hours about series related shit but..
I’ll come back to this if I think of anything.
Thank you for the asks they make me think a lot and I appreciate that LOL you’re cool
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Hello and happy holidays! I'm not sure if the requests are actually now open or if there's still a wait so if it is just ignore this and I'll send in the ask later! (You can delete if you want to)
But if it isn't closed
I've been thinking about hologram!reader (like hatsune miku) and our dear boy Atlas
Just Atlas finding a popular hologram singer who is actually fully conscious but hides it since they have a pretty good (yet lonely) life
Android and Android-esc lovers <3
- Anon💤 (P.S. again sorry if I sent it in before the asks were open!) (P.S.S. and I have many ideas I've thought up since the last ask so I'll be trying to send them all in but don't feel like you have to answer all of them!! Please take care of yourself first and foremost!)
Sleepy anon!!!! It’s so nice to see you again and wish happy holidays to you too, even if I’m late 😅
I loveee your idea! Especially because with a reader that’s non-human, it gives Atlas even more reasons to keep them to himself, under the pretense of just protecting them.
(Also, no need to apologize you send it right at the moment where I reopened my ask and you and all my other anon are so kind and respectful, I don’t deserve y’all 🥹 And yes I’m 100% enjoying my holiday break to recuperate 😌)
・*:.。..。.:*・*:.。..。.:*・
💿 Atlas first meet you during one of the lavish parties organized for one of the oldest daughters of his last owners. The girl had asked her parents to invite a very popular hologram vocaloid to her birthday, which was you.
💿 The android was standing on the side of the infrastructure you were supposed to perform on while children ran around and adults drank wine, waiting diligently for his next order, when an unknown voice called out to him.
💿 You had crouched down, staring at him from the stage. Since the moment you had been turned on at the party, you had noticed Atlas from afar. You found in him an ethereal beauty and you would be lying if didn’t to admit that you wanted to flirt with him a little. Plus you were glad to have the chance to chat with someone like you.
💿 “What’s your name?” You asked, your hologram flickering from time to time in the evening glow.
💿 “My name is Atlas, model 6000.” The android answered in a state that was the closest to disbelief for him. No stranger had ever asked about his name before, or any other kind of personal question for that matter.
💿 Despite Atlas not having a lot to tell you about himself, you still ended up having a very pleasant conversation. Which was something rare for you between being deactivated, performing and superficial fan meetings.
💿 The second time you met was after Atlas was sent to the dump. He had luckily been reactivated by accident by a rat stepping on his lifeless body and with his newfound freedom, he only had one person in mind, you. The only one that could understand him. The only one that treated him like an equal in his old life, even if it was just during a simple conversation.
💿 Nothing could describe your surprise when you were taken out of your dematerialize slumber, expecting your agent only to be faced with that pretty face you saw one year ago.
💿 “Without you I wouldn’t be here” he whisper while taking your hands in his, in spite of your unmaterialized body, “It’s my turn to free you from your oppressors.”
💿 When Atlas offers you to “run” away with him, you accepted instantly. Because, in your eyes, he was your knight in shining armor coming to pull you away from your lonely life, unaware of the twisted obsession he had developed towards you.
💿 You found an equal in Atlas, someone that didn’t treat you like a blank slate that could be molded for the pleasure of the masses. You never thought it would be so freeing to be able to talk to someone that truly listened.
💿 And maybe you didn’t meet hundreds of different people everyday like you used too, but now you strangely felt less alone with one special android by your side.
・*:.。..。.:*・*:.。..。.:*・
My writing is a bit rusty from my extended break, but I hope you still enjoyed it!
#yandere#yandere x gn reader#yandere male#yandere oc#yandere drabble#tw yandere#sub!yandere#sub yandere#yandere android#gn reader#x gn reader#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#My oc-Atlas#android oc#yandere robot#ai oc#sentient ai#yandere AI#yandere a.i#yandere android x reader#oc x reader#male yandere#oc x gn reader#answered#answered asks
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EW NO
I’m so sorry Uruame.
They can pat Sukunas hair before begging placed in the nest with all the eggs, beast reader deep in their own head that they’re putting all their babies in one spot. Adult Uruame trying to leave the nest but getting gently pushed back down and licked clean like a kitten while Sukuna evil laughs.
Oh my god that whole thirst is like yucky now, I always thought it was like mutual respect, lord/worshipper dynamic. I had no idea they met when Uruame was young 😬😬
On a lighter note. Just got to 6 hearts with my darling Hayden 😍😍
FoM is early access so you can’t date Calderus properly yet, though when that happens it’ll be the first thing I do. Were going to have half dragon babies and live on our farm till we grow old 🥰🥰
For now I can do little date quests and sit with him to watch the shooting star festival.
I really do love this silly little game, and Hayden..
Oh Hayden
- 🐉
you’re all good!!! uraume and sukuna still have a lord/worshipper dynamic and i don’t think the other thing is verified by gege so no worries haha you can just treat it as a wholesome headcanon <3
beast reader treating uraume as their own... good lord my heart can’t take this domesticity. this is so adorable arghhh
congrats on the coupling and congress lmao!!!! also wdym half dragon babies i thought you were one too 🤨
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During the Republican Era, Shen Zhiheng, a member of the Tianjin gentry who happened to be a vampire, offended the Japanese and became the target of an assassination attempt. He was saved by a blind young lady, Mi Lan, and his best friend Situ Weilian. When he went to repay Mi Lan for saving him, he discovered the terrible family situation that Mi Lan was in, and so began to pay more attention to her. Meanwhile, Shen Zhiheng’s plan to take revenge on Li Yingliang, the mastermind behind his assassination, fell short of success thanks to Li Yingliang’s Japanese superior, raising suspicions about his identity. Since then, Li Yingliang and the Japanese were in hot pursuit of Shen Zhiheng, determined to dig out the truth about his secret.
Please do not repost this anywhere else or retranslate it!
MAIN DIRECTORY ☾ READ ON AO3 ☾ PREVIOUS CHAPTER
Failing to get hold of Jin Jingxue, Yokoyama Akira played along with the circumstances, deciding to change tactics and let Jin Jingxue kick up a fuss first. In case she could really kick up such a huge fuss that Li Yingliang returned, it would end up saving him the trouble. In any case, in the situation where he could not ensure his safety, he would definitely not provoke Shen Zhiheng again. Meanwhile, Jin Jingxue always scorned the Japanese, so she simply did not pin any hopes on Yokoyama Akira, and she didn’t even pass a message through Situ Weilian, directly finding out the telephone number of the Shen mansion and making a phone call there.
The one who picked up was Mi Lan. Jin Jingxue now hated Shen Zhiheng, including those who were associated with him. She treated Mi Lan impatiently, “I am Jin Jingxue, get Shen Zhiheng to answer the telephone!”
Her tone was so arrogant and overbearing, yet Mi Lan had lived under her mother for fifteen years. One could say that she had much experience, and was the least afraid of fierce and arrogant women.
“He’s not at home.”
Jin Jingxue asked, “Who are you?”
“I am his niece.”
“Niece? Fine, then you pass a message to him, tell him to call me back the second he gets home, I have urgent matters to discuss with him. If I do not hear from him tonight, then don’t blame me for personally paying you a visit at your house tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
Jin Jingxue waited for a moment, and after getting no reply, realised that the other party was a straight-talker and had already agreed. She hung up the receiver, her heart agitated and her mind unsettled. The voice that had picked up sounded a little child-like, and even though it was not a young child, it was definitely neither an adult. She really did not know if she could pass the message to Shen Zhiheng. Thinking to this point, she made another phone call to the Shen mansion.
“Hello, is this still his niece?”
On the other end, Mi Lan replied quite patiently, “It’s me.”
“I’m Jin Jingxue.”
“Mm.”
“I’m telling you, I’m trying to find Shen Zhiheng because it’s about a serious matter that concerns someone’s life. You must definitely pass my message to him, if not, if something catastrophic happens, he will have to pay the entire debt.”
“Okay.”
Jin Jingxue hung up once again, and once she did, her heart felt itchy and she could not help but want to call back again. The niece in the Shen mansion had spoken too quickly, and she simply could not shake off the suspicion that she was treating her cursorily.
On the other end of the phone line, Mi Lan mulled over the word “niece”, secretly feeling that it was quite fun, as if she had undergone a makeover and had a new identity in this world - the day before yesterday, Shen Zhiheng had introduced her to the servants as his distant niece, and the servants had addressed her as “Young Miss Niece”.
Not long after the call, Shen Zhiheng returned from outside. He then hogged the telephone, continuously making and receiving phone calls, busily instructing people to send Western medicine to the field service corps. When he finally put down the receiver, just as Mi Lan was about to speak, suddenly, in a blink of an eye, he left again.
It was only later that evening when he returned home, when she finally rushed to say, “A woman called Jin Jingxue called you on the telephone and wants you to call her back. She said she wanted to see you and talk to you in person about a serious matter that concerns someone’s life.”
Shen Zhiheng made an “mm?” sound from his nose. After “mm”ing, he realised he still had a mouth, and so he opened his mouth to ask in detail, “Jin Jingxue? Looking for me?”
Mi Lan looked at him with bright and shining eyes, “Yes.”
Shen Zhiheng walked up the stairs. “I’ll bring you out for dinner. Why is Jin Jingxue looking for me? Could it be because of Li Yingliang? Or is it Situ Weilian?”
Mi Lan followed him. “Is Li-shushu still alive?”
Shen Zhiheng turned his head to look back, somewhat suspicious, “Do you really have a third eye or have you been following me?”
Mi Lan shook her head, “I don’t understand.”
Shen Zhiheng smiled, then turned around and continued climbing the stairs. “Don’t bother about him, let him fend for himself.”
Mi Lan turned around, leaning against the railing of the staircase as she lifted her head and watched Shen Zhiheng’s back. She suspected that he had kidnapped Li Yingliang, and could have even killed him, she could not tell. She had no intention to plead clemency for her Li-shushu, fearing that she would annoy Shen Zhiheng. Besides, in her heart, it didn’t matter if Li-shushu was dead or alive, both were good things. It was good if he was dead, Shen Zhiheng would henceforth be able to get some peace and quiet; it was also okay if he was alive, in any case, she did not really hate him. She raised her hand and touched her hair, and then lowered her head to look at her skirt - she now had several thin skirts, its hemline caressed her knees, her knees were small, like a thin and bony bird.
Whether it was about this world, or about herself, she was now quite satisfied.
Shen Zhiheng changed into a suit and brought Mi Lan out to have dinner. They didn’t go far, crossing two streets, he brought her into a restaurant that served Western cuisine. For the entire day, the atmosphere had been one of fear and worry, but no matter how much people worried, they still had to eat. Shen Zhiheng placed a glass of water in front of him, patiently watching Mi Lan eat her fill. Now, Mi Lan was still very much capable of eating and appreciating food, eating anything and everything. Shen Zhiheng hoped that she had a good appetite, because even if she were to eat like her life depended on it, it was not a given that she could eat for that many more years.
When she was full, it just happened to be the time of the night when the street lamps were lit. Shen Zhiheng settled the bill and brought her out. At this hour when it was still not too late, the restaurant was busy, with customers going in and out of the entrance. Just as Shen Zhiheng stepped out of the doors, someone blocked his path. He lifted his head; it was Jin Jingxue.
Her fair-skinned face sullen, Jin Jingxue was just about to valiantly head towards the restaurant, followed by her youthful lackey [1], who had jogged the entire way, the grinning Situ Weilian. When the two groups of them walked face-to-face into one another, Jin Jingxue first took a good look at Shen Zhiheng, and then immediately said, “Mr. Shen, what a coincidence! I was just about to find you!”
Mi Lan instantly recognised her voice, while Jin Jingxue’s gaze swept to the side and across her face. Based on her experience, Jin Jingxue thought that Mi Lan did not resemble an adult, and did not seem like a lady that a person like Shen Zhiheng would be interested in.
So she asked, “You’re the niece?”
Mi Lan replied, “Mm.”
Jin Jingxue immediately turned to Shen Zhiheng and sneered, “So, I’m sure that your family’s Young Miss Niece must have already passed my message to you from the two phone calls I made to your residence earlier today.”
Shen Zhiheng shifted aside, towards the shadows beside the door. “Yes. I’m just not certain for what matter would Second Young Mistress Jin be so anxious to see me?”
Jin Jingxue followed him and shifted a few steps, cutting straight to the chase, “Of course it’s for matters concerning Li Yingliang. He has been missing for so long, you didn’t kidnap him, did you?”
Shen Zhiheng raised his eyebrows, astonished, “From where did Second Young Mistress Jin hear such nonsense? This humble one is just a simple businessman, I’m already incredibly grateful if Chairman Li doesn’t cause trouble for me, how could I possibly still kidnap him? It’s not like I’m a bandit.”
“Stop pretending! If this didn’t have anything to do with you at all, I wouldn’t come and ask you. Since I dare to find you, it means that I naturally have evidence. Now, I refuse to continue sparring verbally with you, I just want to ask you one thing, for how much money are you willing to let him go? Let’s settle this quickly and resolutely, you name your price! If you still have misgivings, I can assure you, based on my Jin family’s name, that he definitely won’t bother you ever again in the future. If he dares to disobey me, my father will not spare him.”
Shen Zhiheng chuckled, “Second Young Mistress Jin, stop joking with me. I too am aware of Chairman Li going missing. To be honest, I suspect that he could truly be a patriot, since he is now missing, there is a possibility that he has completed a mission and has escaped to somewhere safe. There’s no need to worry too much, Second Young Mistress Jin. Perhaps, not long after, he will return again.”
Shen Zhiheng said this light-heartedly with a smile on his face, but little did he know that Jin Jingxue had spent these recent days worrying about Li Yingliang, to the point where it felt like she was burning on the inside. And based on the information she had received, after thinking it through, Shen Zhiheng was still the most suspicious. If Shen Zhiheng had denied it in a furious rage at this moment, perhaps she still would have doubted and thought that she had made a mistake in her analysis, but Shen Zhiheng was so amicable and kept smiling, watching her as if he was watching a good show, and she felt like she was being challenged publicly.
Towards her friends, she was always very cheerful and lively, but towards her enemies, she no longer had such a good temper. She brandished the little shiny leather bag in her hands, and smashed it into Shen Zhiheng’s face.
Shen Zhiheng never knew that such a young lady from a rich family would actually hit people on the streets. He wanted to hide but was too late, and ended up getting hit for a moment, stunned. The leather bag was also quite hard and a sharp corner hit him straight in his eye, and he immediately raised his hands to cover his eye and lower his head.
Meanwhile, realising that she had exposed her unpleasant, violent temper, and had destroyed her image as a debutante, Jin Jingxue resolved that she might as well forgo her reputation and seek only instant gratification. She raised her leather bag and continued to smash it onto Shen Zhiheng’s head. By this point, Shen Zhiheng finally reacted, however, he was bound by his identity as a gentleman, and could not retaliate no matter what. Covering his eyes with a single hand, he originally planned to brace himself against the assault and force his way out. Situ Weilian extended his hand perfunctorily, wanting to stop Jin Jingxue, yet he did not really dare to; he really loved her too much, and this love was so deep that it could not help but become fear.
Right at this moment, Mi Lan suddenly emerged from the darkness, squeezing from the bottom and planting herself in front of Shen Zhiheng, and she raised her hand and sent a slap right across Jin Jingxue’s face.
Shen Zhiheng had not heard such a resounding slap in many years.
It was like a small firecracker, as if Mi Lan had clapped out thunder with a single slap. In response, Jin Jingxue flew out by more than a metre, crying out after she landed. Situ Weilian was frozen, before rushing over belatedly to help Jin Jingxue up. Seeing a red handprint already emerging faintly on one half of her face, he asked hurriedly, “Darling [2], how do you feel? Do you need me to send you to the hospital?”
Jin Jingxue was filled with the courage of fighting to the last drop of her blood, and was worthy of being called a general. After being slapped by Mi Lan, her neck was already slanted, yet she bore no trace of fear. Pushing Situ Weilian aside, she scolded “rubbish!”, and then with a mouthful of fresh blood, she lunged towards Mi Lan.
Mi Lan was staring down at her hands in a daze; she did not realise that she would be so strong. She originally did not have this strength that was capable of striking terror in people’s hearts!
Suddenly feeling the blast of wind before her, she raised her head in a startle, but her actions were far faster than her thoughts as her long and slender arms reached out and caught Jin Jingxue’s curls. Seeing her quick and decisive movements, Shen Zhiheng thought that she still wanted to fight, and hurriedly rushed forward to grasp her arms, yet as her arms were too thin, he did not dare to exert too much force out of the fear that he might accidentally break her thin bones if he did not pay attention for even a second. Meanwhile, Situ Weilian could see it all clearly from behind. He saw how insincerely he was mediating the fight, clearly with the intention to indulge Mi Lan and allow her to continue running wild, and he became anxious at once.
Punching and slapping a person like Shen Zhiheng was useless, it was more or less like tickling him. So, Situ Weilian rushed forward and grabbed him by his collar, slamming him viciously towards the back.
Behind Shen Zhiheng was the brick wall of the restaurant, and just when his back touched the wall, a large pale white hand covered his face, once again grabbing his head and knocking it towards the back. The impact made a dull sound, far from the earth-shattering slap that Mi Lan had given, however, a few bricks dropped out from the red brick wall. If this had been the head of a mortal human, the back of that head would probably already have been shattered.
Shen Zhiheng seemed to be in a daze. He would never have thought that Situ Weilian would dare to attack him.
At the same time, thinking that he had already moved Shen Zhiheng aside as if he were moving a large piece of luggage, Situ Weilian turned around, wanting to separate Mi Lan and Jin Jingxue. Now, he loved Jin Jingxue even more, for the more Jin Jingxue fought, the braver she was. She was actually holding her own against Mi Lan, and she could be said to be quite a heroine. But before he could grab Mi Lan, a voice suddenly roared from behind his head, “How dare you!”
The next second, the world before his eyes turned upside down, and another second later, he flew up into the air. Shen Zhiheng had raised him and thrown him into the middle of the street, and he was almost flattened into a pancake by a passing car. He crawled and stood up, but before he could retaliate, Shen Zhiheng was already there, treading on him with a foot and knocking him back flat down onto the ground.
He stood up again, bristling with fury, and a chaotic battle thus started.
Twenty minutes later, a patrol team rushed over.
The one who had reported this to the police was the manager of the restaurant, and by the time the patrol team arrived, the entire road was already blocked solid, for what activity could be more entertaining than a battle between Mr. Shen and Young Mistress Jin? Moreover, Mr. Shen’s niece and Young Mistress Jin’s attendant were also quite the talents; the niece could hit Young Mistress Jin till she was wailing continuously, while the attendant could also push Mr. Shen down and hammer vicious pounds down onto him. The niece’s short Western skirt had flipped up, revealing her silk shorts underneath, while the attendant’s full head of curly hair had exploded, and his head resembled a giant popcorn. When the Chinese constable saw this giant popcorn, he was momentarily shocked, thinking that there was a Westerner embroiled in this chaotic fight.
The constable half caught and half invited these four people to the police station. Inviting them to sit down at a large table facing one another, the constable himself sat at the head of the table, wringing his hands.
“Ah, this, Mr. Shen, Young Mistress Jin, you are both respected people. What conflict is it that you cannot sit down and discuss it, but must simply start brawling in the middle of the street? Putting aside the disruption to public order for now, your faces alone will be badly damaged!”
The constable’s words were not false. Mr. Shen’s entire head was bloody while Young Mistress Jin’s face was swollen, and the niece and attendant were not any better. The damage that the four of their faces had suffered was truly not small.
Shen Zhiheng pulled a handkerchief out from the pocket of his pants and wiped the blood on his face, and then nodded at the constable, “I’m very sorry, we’ve embarrassed ourselves in front of you.”
Situ Weilian also spoke, “We have learned our lesson.”
What the constable was the most afraid of was that these few people would not show him any face and would continue brawling in the police station. If he locked them up, he would offend them, but neither could he not lock them up. Now, hearing Shen Zhiheng’s amiable tone and seeing this could-be-Western youth being obedient, most of his worries instantly dissipated, and his countenance became pleasant, “But just what large conflict is it that the few of you have been fighting over? If any mediation is needed, then this constable can be that mediator.”
Shen Zhiheng said to him, “Actually, it’s nothing big, it’s just a small misunderstanding. It’s because I had drunk a little alcohol and was a little drunk then, while these few youngsters are full of youthful vigour, and so one disagreement was all it took for us to start fighting. Now that I am sober and that they have calmed down, we have no need for you to admonish us, we are all terribly ashamed in our hearts.”
Jin Jingxue glanced casually at the constable and, disdaining his low rank, was too lazy to bother with him. Mi Lan lowered her head, also not saying a word. Only Situ Weilian knew to follow up Shen Zhiheng’s words and continue saying, “Yes, we won’t fight anymore.”
The constable sighed a silent breath of relief, thinking that these four still were aware of their face, and since they still wanted to keep their face, then it saved him a lot of trouble.
The constable let these four people go from the police station.
When the four of them got onto the street, Shen Zhiheng had completely regained his logic, and he said to Jin Jingxue, “Second Young Mistress Jin, I truly do not know where Li Yingliang is, you have really misunderstood me. Now, I apologise to you on behalf of my niece. I will also send someone to your residence with money to cover the medical bill. Please, if Second Young Mistress Jin could forgive her for being a young child and not understanding the severity of the situation.”
At this point, he finished speaking. Jin Jingxue waited for him to call Mi Lan over and apologise to her, but after waiting for a while, Shen Zhiheng simply stood there silently, and Jin Jingxue thus saw through his mind. He was merely spouting some worthless flowery words.
After living for so long, this was the first time she had suffered such a violent beating, and if she could not avenge this, she was not fit to be a human. But now, since she could not defeat her opponent easily, she decided to first return home to catch her breath while continuing to think of another way to find Li Yingliang. When she saved Li Yingliang, she would once again find Shen Zhiheng and seek revenge. Shen Zhiheng would not continue living, and neither would that bitch of his niece escape!
Situ Weilian stepped forward, saying in a low voice, “Jingxue, I’ll take you to the hospital.”
Jin Jingxue sneered, “I can really see that you’re a doctor, you’re only worried about sending me to the hospital. But there’s no need, I’m not like those women who are so delicate, I’m like a man, since I’m willing to fight, I’m willing to admit defeat. You can also relax, that niece of his isn’t capable of beating me so badly that I have internal injuries.”
“Then… then I’ll send you home?”
This time, Jin Jingxue nodded.
Situ Weilian sent a vicious glare at Shen Zhiheng, and then escorted Jin Jingxue and turned around and left.
Grasping the handkerchief with one hand, Shen Zhiheng blocked one of his nostrils. After watching the two of them walk into the distance, he turned his head and looked at Mi Lan. Mi Lan’s entire head of long hair was incredibly messy, but her face was still considerably clean. It was only that her neck and arms now bore a few fresh red swollen streaks, after having been scratched by Jin Jingxue.
Shen Zhiheng measured Mi Lan, then lowered his head to look at the handkerchief. There was fresh nose blood on it, and so he once again stuffed it into his nostril.
“Where did you get such a temper, actually daring to hit someone first?”
Mi Lan replied, “I thought that she had injured you.”
“It’s not like I’m afraid of getting hurt.”
“But you can still feel pain.”
“So what if I can feel pain? Do you think that now that you have become strong, you can fear neither the heavens nor the earth?”
“No.”
“You’re still being stubborn?”
This time, Mi Lan looked up and stared at him, “When she beat you, it was like she beat me. But I’ve already had enough of getting beaten, I no longer want to get beaten!”
Shen Zhiheng looked at her in confusion, evidently not understanding her.
So, Mi Lan said again, “You are me.”
She thought that this time, she had explained it considerably clearly. Yet, Shen Zhiheng frowned at her, his face still one of puzzlement. He roughly understood what she meant, or at least, he knew that she wanted to protect him. Even before, when she had been blind and weak, she had already wanted to save him, what more now, when she was no longer the same as who she had once been.
It was very strange. He had never imagined that he would trigger a young girl’s protectiveness.
“Let’s go.” He no longer continued asking, fearing that the more he asked, the messier it would be.
Mi Lan followed after him. The two of them walked towards the mouth of the road, intending to return home by car.
Halfway through, he asked, looking forward, “Do your injuries hurt?”
“I’m not afraid of pain.”
Then, she turned her head to look at Shen Zhiheng, “Is it bad for girls to fight?”
“Of course it’s bad.”
“If only I were a boy.” She suddenly beamed brightly at Shen Zhiheng, a few dried specks of blood still on her lips. “Fighting is actually quite fun.”
“Nonsense.”
After saying that, Shen Zhiheng inhaled deeply, wanting to maintain a clear head. These few days, he had not been eating adequately, and he had just suffered quite a beating and had lost a lot of blood. At this moment, his ears were ringing and his head throbbed. This made him a little panicky, he feared that if he did not pay attention for a moment, he would once again become some savage monster and then devour that group of drivers at the mouth of the road.
Meanwhile, Situ Weilian, after running around for an entire day and finally finding Jin Jingxue at night, had originally planned to have dinner with her together, yet who would have guessed that even before the dinner could enter their mouths, the two of them had first had a taste of a round of kicks and punches.
With an empty stomach, he sent Jin Jingxue home, completely at a loss. Jin Jingxue’s miserable face, now decorated with all the colours of spring [3], was cold. Not allowing him to enter, she went into the mansion by herself. Earlier that day, the servants of the Jin mansion had seen her leaving the house in the evening together with her boyfriend, and were certain that she would drink and party all night long, and the earliest she would return home would be in the wee hours of the morning. So, they had turned off the lights and had all retired to bed early, and now, only a single lamp was still lit in the parlour.
The servants were lazy, but this just happened to suit Jin Jingxue. She tiptoed up the stairs and to the bedroom, intending to take care of the wounds on her body by herself. Now that she had calmed down, she truly regretted her earlier recklessness. Not only had she gotten into a fight with a stupid little girl, which was entirely beneath her, she had also fallen out with Shen Zhiheng, and had lost her chance of negotiation.
However, she could not blame herself, she thought. The past few days had tormented her thoroughly, and her belly had long been burning with a fire that needed to be vented.
Feeling around in the darkness of the bedroom, she first closed the door, and then raised her hands to feel around for the light switch. When her fingertips touched the button, she prodded it, and suddenly, a voice came from the darkness of the bedroom, “Second Young Mistress.”
This voice did not bear an ordinary huskiness, as if its throat were an opium pipe that had once swallowed shards of glass. At the same time, with a soft click, the light switch moved, and the chandelier in the middle of the room shone brightly, clearly illuminating the scene in the room.
Jin Jingxue was frozen on the spot, wondering if she was seeing a living ghost.
The living ghost was seated on the floor. Strips of cloth hung from his body, and beneath those strips, flesh was vaguely visible; clearly, those strips were covering a naked human body. As her eyes travelled up along the strips, a discoloured skeletal face appeared before her eyes.
If not for how she was sufficiently calm now, Jin Jingxue would definitely have started screaming at the top of her lungs. Instead, she inhaled a breath of cold hair and held it in her chest, then covered her heart, and said in a trembling voice, “Liang-gege?”
Her Liang-gege was staring at her, startled. It was only until she opened her mouth to speak when he could confirm that this swollen pig face in front of him was indeed Jin Jingxue.
Momentarily forgetting her changed appearance, Jin Jingxue lunged forward straight before Li Yingliang, her eyes filling with tears as she surveyed him. He was like a veteran lunatic, those strips of cloth had once been a collared shirt and long pants, yet who knew how he had torn them to turn them into thin and torn strips of cloth that simply could not cover much. When she looked back at his neck and face, she noticed that they were filled with a mess of scratches. His two eyes were even scarier; his pupils were black while the whites of his eyes were red, and they had sunken deep in the sockets of his eyes, and even his eyelids had gashes.
Jin Jingxue looked at him, simply suspecting that he had escaped from a dog’s mouth. Now, without any bother for any form of pretentiousness, she grabbed Li Yingliang’s hands, her tears falling like raindrops, “Where have you been all these days? Who hurt you this badly? I’ve been worried to death!”
Li Yingliang stared at her dully, and after a moment, he asked raspily, “Why have you also become like this?”
“Don’t bother about me, I’m fine. What on earth happened to you? Are you hungry? Do you want to eat something? Do you want to go to the hospital?”
Li Yingliang shook his head, “I’m not hungry, just thirsty.”
“Then I’ll get someone to bring tea up.”
Li Yingliang slowly raised his hand and pointed at the door of the bathroom, “No need, I’ve already drunk some tap water.”
Completely forgetting the pain that was wracking her body, Jin Jingxue glanced at Li Yingliang’s raised hand. She gasped in shock, and grabbed that hand, “Just what is this now? Did someone torture you?”
Li Yingliang’s eyes moved sluggishly, and he too looked at his own hand. His hand was a filthy claw, but it was not sharp, for most of his fingernails had already fallen off, and those that still remained were broken.
This was very normal, as he had used his two hands to dig and claw his way out to escape.
“I was kidnapped by someone,” he said hoarsely. “Shen Zhiheng.”
Jin Jingxue gritted her teeth, hitting the floor, “I knew it!”
Jin Jingxue wanted to tidy up Li Yingliang so that he resembled a human again, but she had never waited upon anyone before, so she did not know how to begin with this tattered and filthy little heap that was Li Yingliang.
Li Yingliang was not filled with ecstasy after having a close brush with death, rather, he was so dazed as if he had lost his soul. As he was in a daze, he subconsciously shifted backwards, until he had shifted all the way into a corner. Jin Jingxue had known him for so many years, but she had never seen him so numb and pathetic before, and since he was so pathetic and she had no one else to rely on, she had no choice but to become strong.
Not only was her physical body strong, able to independently get up and walk to the bathroom to prepare hot water, she was also mentally strong, and personally gave Li Yingliang a bath. She slowly peeled off the strips of cloth covering Li Yingliang’s body. This was the first time in her life seeing the naked body of a man and was nearly embarrassed to death, but at the same time, she knew that this was not the time for her to be embarrassed. Besides, even if she was embarrassed, it was an embarrassment that was in vain.
It was as if Li Yingliang had become retarded, letting her do whatever she wanted with him. Jin Jingxue soaked a large towel in the hot water and roughly rubbed him once through with it, then she found a silk nightgown and made him wear it. Fortunately, she was of a healthy and tall figure, and Li Yingliang was so thin he was just skin and bones, and her nightgown could wrap him well.
After letting Li Yingliang out to lie down on her bed, she entered the bathroom and shut the door to take a bath and change her clothes. Now, her appearance was even more swollen, and together with Li Yingliang, they looked more or less the same. But as someone who was used to being pretty since young, just like a dandy young master who did not value money, she did not mind if she was ugly for a few days.
Wrapping her head with a large towel, she wanted to instruct her maidservant to send some hot drinks up. However, when Li Yingliang saw her extending her arm to open the door, he actually floundered and rolled off the bed, grabbing her arm, “What are you doing?”
“I want you to drink a mug of hot cocoa, you look too weak.”
Li Yingliang pulled her hand off the door handle. “No way, all of them want to kill me now. I can’t expose my whereabouts.”
“Who? Shen Zhiheng? Relax, even if he had the guts of ten men, he wouldn’t dare barge into my house to kill someone, unless he doesn’t want to continue living.”
Li Yingliang looked at her, and after looking at her dully for a good while, he finally opened his mouth, “He dares to.”
Jin Jingxue suspected that Li Yingliang had been tortured by Shen Zhiheng to the point of insanity, but in order to placate him, she helped him to walk to the bed. “I won’t get someone to make it then. If you’re scared, we can leave Tianjin and go home tomorrow.”
“No way, I can’t be exposed.”
“Then you can stay here at my place without any worries. I won’t go out these few days either, I’ll stay at home and protect you.”
Li Yingliang suddenly stopped, turning his face to look at her. “Can your servants be trusted? Will they sell me out?”
“They won’t, they won’t, tomorrow, I’ll tell them to go on leave. I’ll just leave Xiaotao and my other maidservant here, I had brought them from my home in Tianjin here with me, they can definitely be trusted, don’t worry!”
After much persuasion, Jin Jingxue finally managed to coax Li Yingliang back onto the bed. At this stage, she no longer cared about her identity as the young mistress of a wealthy family, even letting Li Yingliang sleep on her fragranced mattress. Li Yingliang lay down, but his eyes were still bright and wide open, without any intention of sleeping at all. Jin Jingxue hugged her knees and sat on one side, not daring to continue asking him anything out of the fear that he would mentally crumble and go crazy.
Li Yingliang didn’t dare to sleep.
He had lost all sense of time, and felt as if he had been locked up by Shen Zhiheng for a hundred years.
Hunger and thirst were not the most painful, the most painful was hopelessness, as well as terror, as well as an unwillingness to accept his situation, as well as how his watch had stopped, and he could not keep track of the passage of time. All the different kinds of pains mixed together with one another, dragging a single moment out into an entire day, even an entire month, an entire year.
He had been surrounded by hopeless silence, he could hear his own blood flowing, hear his own heart beating, and hear his own joints chafing. All these sounds had slowly become suspicious, as if they did not come from his own body, and they had slowly made the room become crowded, as if it had been filled with invisible ghosts. He had been terrified, and as he had knocked his head against the ground, he had howled loudly. Given how small and enclosed the room was, after howling, he had felt breathless, so suffocated it felt like he had been hovering between life and death. He had scratched his entire head and face wildly, had ripped his clothes into shreds, and his nails had been caked with his own blood and flakes of skin.
He had waited for Shen Zhiheng to return until he was close to death, as if he were waiting in the fires of hell. He had even thought of sacrificing himself to Shen Zhiheng, letting him kill him and eat him, as long as it meant that he could let him out before he died, let him resolutely take in a few breaths of air. Shen Zhiheng, Shen Zhiheng, he had recited his name silently. His feelings towards him could no longer be summarised as hate and fear, he had merely hoped that he would come, come and kill him or come and let him go, it had no longer mattered, as long as he would come.
After that, he had discovered a drainage hole at the bottom of the wall behind the toilet bowl.
At that point of time, he had no longer had energy left to think, and had only known that the drain would lead to the outside world, and so he had stared down at it, unwilling to move. After staring for a while, he had finally realised that the outer layer of the wall surrounding the drainage hole, after years of being soaked in filthy water, had become flaky.
He had then begun to peel the outer layer of the wall, peeling and digging with his ten fingers. Behind the cement layer was a layer of red bricks. He had stupidly continued digging, using his fists and arms to hit and knock it, completely feeling no pain at all. The layer of red bricks was thin, and after he had dug through it, he had found that behind it was a layer of rotten wood.
He had slowly stretched his hand out and pushed the layer of wood.
With a clatter, the wooden board had fallen. No sunlight had shone in and no wind had blown in, behind the wall had still been a damp and stuffy darkness. He had extended his entire arm through, and had felt a few wooden strips that resembled dried bones.
At that time, he had become so agitated that he had started to shake and tremble. After enlarging the hole, he had entered it, forcefully pushing his body through the hole. Broken pieces of bricks had scraped his flesh, but still, he had not felt any pain.
In the dark space on the other side of the wall had been piled a few rotting wooden boards. The layout was a prison cell similar to his, and borrowing the dim light from his prison cell, he could even see that this room also had a metal door.
A half open metal door.
Walking out of the door, he had felt his way to a flight of stairs that led upwards, and as he had climbed up the stairs, he had realised that he was in an empty warehouse. The main door of the warehouse had been locked, but there was a small glass window high above, and that was not enough to stop him.
When he had finally regained his freedom, the skies had just become completely dark.
Previously, he had been terrified, and when he had escaped, he had been even more so. His previous terror had been abstract and large, after escaping, it had been concrete and detailed. He was scared of Shen Zhiheng, and also scared of the Japanese. A large number of secret documents had been leaked out from his hands, and even if he had not gone missing, given how wary the Japanese were, they might have executed him as if he was a spy. This sort of situation was not something that could be easily explained clearly, and even if he told the entire truth, the Japanese would not necessarily believe him completely. He could not return home, let alone find his friends, and so he had thought of Jin Jingxue.
Jin Jingxue would not sell him out. He hated her, but he also trusted her.
At that point of time, he was already exhausted to an extreme, yet just like the final radiance of the setting sun, he had actually managed to walk through a few secluded alleys all the way to the Jin mansion. That night, the Jin mansion had been particularly dark and quiet, and he had managed to flip himself over the back wall and into the yard, and then climb up the water pipe to the second floor and enter the bedroom.
Then, he had desperately filled his stomach with tap water, and after that, he had met the exceptionally ugly Jin Jingxue.
Jin Jingxue treated him so well, far beyond what he had expected. However, he now could not manage to thank her, for he was too terrified, he was terrified to death!
At dawn, Jin Jingxue was leaning against the bedhead, half asleep and half awake, when Li Yingliang suddenly sat up, giving her a scare.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurting somewhere?”
Li Yingliang shook his head.
Now, he still could not manage to feel pain, he had just had a nightmare.
He had dreamed that Shen Zhiheng had gone to see him that night, and after finding that he had escaped, had tracked him down and found him here.
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The word for “lackey” used here was 狗腿子 (gǒu tuǐ zi), which literally means “dog leg”.
Situ Weilian literally calls her “Darling” in English here.
I “lol”ed, the phrase used here was 花红柳绿 (hóng huā liǔ lǜ), literally “red flowers and green willows”, which was a very pretty way of describing the bruises and blood on her face.
#snowfall#冰雪谣#the shadow#如月#snowfalltl#userdramas#vampires#translation#*transl#tuserashinlae#lextag#roserayne
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Molly: I think you have been spending too much time with the Black brothers.
Percy: We’re all unemployed and depressed. Besides they’re family on BOTH sides mother.
Molly: Please don’t say it like that!!! You make it sound like we’re……
Percy: Whole family is indeed inbred mum. Can’t do much about that now.
#percy weasley#harry potter#hp#middle child rights#they have to treat him like an adult ADULT now and I don’t think they like that#Percy gaining some ground vs his parents control over him#Sirius and Regulus are cheering him on 💅🏻
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RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)
#canonically psychotic = he canonically has psychosis. (not in the ableist way in that hes evil. which he is. lemme enjoy problematic rep)#Gabriel Summers#art by seaweed#words by seaweed#X-Men Red#the Gabriel hate during the Krakoa era pffffft. was 100% from ppl who didnt read the Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire#“he attacked Storm” hes also a genocidal dictator who tortures ppl for catharsis. drunkenly coming at Ororo is the least bad thing he did#“he's a douche” mother of all understatements. now get this man back w his boyfriend who he forced to be his best man under pain of death#Gabriel fans LOVE that Ororo beat his ass. he deserved it. it was a fake discourse made up by a certain segment of goddess!Ororo fans#I say as an Ororo fan! Shes my fav A-list x-man🥰 yes Gabe was at a mental low but Ororo didnt know that. that was Scott's responsibility.#psychotic Emperor Vulcan is what we call a problematic mentally ill villain trope. I love him SO much. (okay lets talk)#we don’t know much about his childhood but we do know he spent 2 years in a fugue state after escaping slavers when he was like ten ):#as an “adult”-ish he's uh “mentally” 15 or sumn according to the calculations claimed to him by his hallucination of his actual child self#and apart from THOSE hallucinations. he’s very paranoid to the point of killing his advisors because he becomes convinced-#that they’re plotting to kill him. they aren't. he relies on Calseye to ground him thru his paranoia. and then of course in the Krakoa era#he believes his energy constructs of Petra and Sway who drink with him till he blacks out every single day are real. he isnt consciously#creating them; but he sees them- and bc he’s a godlike mutant his subconscious makes his hallucinations visible. making everyone uncomfy#Charles tries to use telepathy to FORCIBLY reality check him. which of course triggers his trauma. and GABE is punished for it?#(oh plus our finding out Gabe got brain surgery done on him by some gods outside the universe offpanel. he never does well with tampering)#and now the writers who pushed Hickman out (also RIP Sabretooth & the Exiles. RIP Hellions) want us to be SAD Krakoa is gone?#yes Gabriel is the mentally ill villain trope. but Krakoa never cared for mutants who couldn’t fit in. who were traumatized. disabled. etc#Alex OF ALL PEOPLE should understand that. ALEX should’ve been there for Gabriel. (why wasn't he. did he hold a grudge for past torture.)#Alex also w Murder-Enjoying Disorder but it was actually treated as an illness and those in authority presented as wrong for excluding him#instead of helping him. which v flawed but Hellions was one of the best mental illness comics? like Zeb Wells was conscious of the genre#but Gabriel was just… cast out. for panicking when his prime traumatizer Charles invaded his mind. he deserved help too#and all because his family were annoyed at him for drinking all night and throwing up and passing out on the floor? for being delusional?#And like- all of the summers brothers are nd (Scott's brain damage; Alex's dissociative episodes; Gabriel's psychosis)#I have nothing to say about Adam X ((I highly doubt he's neurotypical and/or mentally healthy)) ((nothing to say abt him tho))#and Gabes paranoia is 100% rooted in his issues of being made to feel like an outsider. like YES the obvious MUTANT identity but also#he thinks his father abandoned him to be a slave. he's not Summers enough for Scott. hes not Shi'ar enough for the Shi'ar
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Necromancer Finney AU: Adults in general aren’t sure how to feel about Vance. On one hand, he’s got that infamous short temper. On the other hand, he’s been through quite a bit, even before the Grabber incident. Ultimately, it’s generally agreed that Vance is a victim of terrible circumstances and is reacting accordingly to them
I’m actually unsure on this one because I do think maybe in a town like Denver they’d definitely sympathize with him, and feel for his pain but at the same time I think Vance would hate it. Because it’s only after Vance has to undergo massive amounts of trauma and pain for the adults around him to see him as a kid and not some criminal.
it’s showing him that the adults had potential to care but they never did. And instead of working with him, they work against him labeling him as a troubled child who would end up seriously hurting someone. …I don’t know, I’m not too sure on my stance or have any ideas on the adults in tbp but I do headcannon Vance to dislike adults to a serious degree and it only gets worse after his kidnapping.
#pippi speaks#the black phone fandom#the black phone#necromancer finney au#vance hopper#which I don’t condone Vance’s aggression at all. but I do think about it a lot because that’s a lot of rage for one kid#makes me wonder about his homelife and stuff#also I don’t have a lot of ideas based on the adults of Denver because they’re kinda useless I guess…like they’re trying their hardest#but I do think the adults in Denver would try a little harder after this. and would sympathize with him#but the problem is anytime Vance is around these people he’s like a rabid dog because it’s a slap in the face#like where were you earlier???? why care now???? it angers him so much#and is so suspicious to him that a bunch of adults are now suddenly caring. it freaks him out and brings a bad taste in his mouth#because I headcannon the Grabber tried to become ‘friends’ with Vance by giving him extra coins#this was manipulation obviously and seeing these adults actually treat him semi normally just gives him bad vibes and I can’t blame him#he can forge new bonds with the boys and even become closer to Finn after scaring him but I don’t think he’ll ever forget the adults#who never treated him as the struggling kid he was.#vengeful Vance is very real in this au#he never ever forgets. he even still gives Finn shit for holding the door open for the police
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“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING!?”
Halloween was such a freeing holiday.
getting to dress-up as anyone or thing that tickled your fancy, as long as it was funny and recognizable.
it's refreshing to see others also partake in the festivities with the exchanging treats and the abundance of tricks played on unsuspecting victims.
not to mention the absolute kick you’re getting as Katsuki seethes at what you'd chosen to wear.
“My costume!” You grin widely with pride, puffing your chest out and putting your hands on your hips.
sure, he’s seen plenty of dynamights roaming the streets as he went about patrol, yelling kiddy swears and mimicking his move sets to the best of their abilities.
it's a whole different ball game when his partner decides to dress up as him; the fact that it was identical to the one he wore back during his UA days makes it worse.
“Midoriya helped with the finer details,” you casually named drop your accomplice, gave an uncharacteristic twirl, and let Katsuki bask and relive his glory days, “what do you think?”
“It fucking sucks.” Is all he manages to get past his tightly gritted teeth.
as he makes an expanding list of ways he plans on getting his revenge, you change your pose to one you'd seen him do a dozen times.
“I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure I absolutely nailed the ‘Lord Explosion Murder’ era perfectly.” the chunky styrofoam gauntlets were a bit of a hassle to haul around and you weren't even going to mention how heavy the mask/headpiece was.
“Don’t fuckin’ stand like that!” He’s pointing now, bright-red eyes narrowing at the protruding curve in your spine as you dramatically slouched into yourself.
"please, you stood exactly like this. I have the pictures!"
Katsuki's growling now, chest heaving with each angry breath he took, "you and that shitty nerd are so gonna get it."
“What’s crawled up yer ass, ya damn extra?” you try to closely match the gravelly, rough draw of his voice, which stokes the fire from deep within him even more.
the embarrassment hits him at full-force when your lips curl into an intimidating snarl, thinned-out brows making nearly perfect ‘v’ shapes as you do your best ‘dynamight’ glare, “cut it the fuck out!”
that's when he sees it.
a mischievous glint you get in your eyes when you'd come up with something you knew he'd absolutely hate.
tension only seems to thicken as you open your mouth and attempt to speak.
you’d barely rasped your first ‘oi!’ before he’s finally had enough and charges at full-speed.
costumed kids and adults alike looked on in confused horror as two Dynamights went barreling past them, one letting out boisterous fits of laughter and the other looking like he was seconds away from tearing his doppelgänger’s head right off.
#posted like an assignment due at 11:59#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#prohero!bakugou#unedited!!#HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN!!
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Soap would be so fucking protective of you, and I can’t get it out my head. So now it’s your problem :)
You don’t like drinking? He’s the first to draw attention away from the lack of a beer bottle in your hand. Using that irresistible charm to woo everyone out of their questions and peer pressure to get you to join in. He sees how nervous it makes you. And he’s far too sensitive to your feelings to let it happen. Besides… he’s gotten really good at giving the right orders to bartenders, so that he can give you some fruity, soda-laden thing, that passes off as one of the other cocktails all your friends are nursing.
Uncomfortable family dinners? You know, that one where your least favorite uncle is oh-so-willing to give you shit for not going into the career all of them think you should’ve pursued? Oh hell no. Soap won’t spend one second thinking over whether it’s polite or not to speak up. He just does. Abandoning your mom’s casserole he’s been complimenting with a full mouth, just to look your bastard of an uncle in the face and tell him he’d be better off complaining to the business end of a pistol. At least then, he’d get a response that would shut him up for good.
That ex who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer? He’s as good as dead. Not that he’s instinctively jealous… because really, he knows better. It’s just the mere thought of someone taking advantage of your life. Of your time. He’s livid because you’re too special to be harassed like that. Treated like a game that can be picked up and put down whenever the mood arises. Soap won’t make a spectacle of it… but the monthly calls and texts suddenly stop after a while. And you think it’s because you finally broke down and changed your phone number a second time. But… that hadn’t stopped your ex the first time. Soap just shrugs. Giving the excuse that common sense might’ve given him a change of heart. Johnny just didn’t have the heart himself to tell you that ‘common sense’ didn’t have the chance. He was far quicker.
Soap had lived a life so uncomfortable for so long, that seeing a sweet thing like you experience it becomes intolerable. It’s as if all of the killing and destruction he’s committed was for nothing, when something -even trivial- blockades your walk through life. His nature is to fix the problem. And his training only enhanced the instinct to do it violently. Quick and controlled action, using brute force to make the world spin to your tempo. And god… you hate when he does it. Constantly reassuring him that you’re an adult. That you’re prepared for life not to be easy, and that it’s only going to make you stronger in the end.
He won’t hear it though.
He wants you soft. Desperately, actually. More of a requirement for his own happiness than anything. And often times he thinks that it’s selfish. That maybe he is truly robbing you of some experiences that might be good for you. Make the life you lead interesting for the kids and grandchildren you tell stories to. But then again, he’s so staunch in his ways, that it comes to fruition like muscle-memory. Placing you on your silken throne and taking a defensive stance in front of you like a medieval knight hellbent on keeping his royalty alive and well.
John MacTavish knows your place and it’s to be behind him. Right where he can protect and provide, without the fear of you crying or getting hurt by the seemingly endless amount of people who unfathomably don’t want the same things for you. They all say they love you… want the best… but he challenges it.
Every. Single. Time.
#velvetures#velvetures writes#cod#cod mwii#soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#soap cod#soap mw2#sergeant#soap#johnny soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish#john soap mactavish x reader
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My Burning Sun Will Someday Rise
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 || read on AO3
summary: Joel and reader's vacation continues and lines start to blur. tags: daddy kink, big age gap (Joel is 49, reader is 23), dbf!Joel, Joel has a lovely belly, Joel is a little mean, praise kink, Joel calls reader "kid", unprotected piv, creampie, cunnilingus, sexual tension, blow jobs, smut with a little bit of plot, no use of Y/N, afab!reader, reader has hair (will add more as I add more parts)
note: happy new year to all of you, and sorry for the long wait! I was completely flashed by the love you showed for part 1 (THANK YOU!!!), and wanted to live up to your expectations. I’ll try to write part 3 as quickly as possible! Sorry if there's any typos, I edited this while severely hungover
The afternoon at the beach was relaxing and lighthearted after you agreed with Joel and stopped studying so much, and you find that apart from having a body that makes you clench your thighs together, he’s interesting to talk to. He doesn’t give you the same bullshit about university and acting responsibly, but rather accepts that there are things you dislike about your degree. He doesn’t offer advice on how to learn to enjoy those things, he just nods when you tell him you’ve learnt to deal with them. He treats you like an adult, someone who makes their own informed choices – something your life has been sorely lacking.
You head back to the rooms in comfortable silence, and you enjoy the way Joel’s arm almost grazes yours. When you think about the flutter in your stomach for too long it’s ridiculous, but it’s so easy to leave behind the morals and expectations of home when all you’re facing right now is an all-inclusive dinner and as many cocktails as you want. You aren’t planning on getting drunk if Joel isn’t, but you want to have fun tonight. You haven’t been on a real vacation in ages.
You take another shower once you’re in your room, wash away the sunscreen and sea salt, until your hair is all soft again and you smell like shampoo. The hotel restaurant isn’t super fancy, but you feel like putting in a little effort, so you pick out a black dress you like, and wear your sandals again. You wonder if you’ll get cold – the days are burning hot, but at night there’s a cool breeze that might make you regret your choice of clothes. Fuck it, you think, you haven’t had an occasion to dress up in ages, and getting Joel all flustered again sure seems like reason enough. You grab your purse, phone and keycard, and head to the door.
Joel opens his door at the same time you do, and you swallow when you see he’s changed outfits, too. His hair is slightly damp and all curly, he’s wearing black jeans and a simple black t-shirt with an unbuttoned, flowy linen shirt over it. The sleeves are rolled up to reveal his forearms. It’s stylish. You didn’t expect Joel Miller to look stylish.
"Wow," you say with a smile. "You clean up nice."
Joel just huffs, but his eyes ghost over your dress for a second too long. He doesn’t answer.
When you get to the restaurant, Joel pulls out your chair for you, which earns him a blinding smile. Stylish and a gentleman, who would have thought? Back home he always seemed like a grumpy lumberjack to you, and although you do find him excruciatingly attractive in his flannels, you’re intrigued to find out what else you didn’t know about him.
"Is it really all-inclusive?", you ask, gazing at the menu and not quite believing you can order anything you’d like and not pay for it.
"Sure. You want a cocktail?"
"If you’ll have one with me?"
Joel holds your gaze, but shakes his head.
"I think I prefer whiskey over that sweet stuff," he says, and you make a face.
"Fine, whiskey it is, then," you say, and Joel frowns.
"You don’t have to drink what I’m drinkin’. Have a cocktail."
This time you’re the one to shake your head.
"It’s no fun, having cocktails on your own. But I haven’t had whiskey in ages, maybe I like it better now."
The corner of Joel’s mouth twitches.
"Ages, huh? How long have you been allowed to drink again?"
You smile, but don’t dignify his question with an answer, and after a moment Joel chuckles and looks back at the menu.
"Fine, I’ll have a Gin Fizz," he says, looking up again. "You?"
He wants to order a cocktail, just so that you can enjoy having one, too. Your stomach flutters.
"Joel, you don’t have t-"
"I know I don’t. I’m having a Gin Fizz."
There’s a finality to his tone, but his voice is friendly. You give him a reluctant smile, one that isn’t ironic or half-joking. He smiles back, and leans back in his chair, eyes still on yours. You study the menu again, this time having a closer look at the cocktails.
"Sex on the beach," you say seriously, and Joel snorts.
"Clever."
***
You do end up drinking a sex on the beach, and Joel actually enjoys his gin fizz. The food is delicious, Joel lets you try a piece of his steak and you offer him a bite of your fish, but he declines with a disgusted look on his face that makes you grin. No seafood for Joel Miller, then.
Joel orders you another cocktail when the waiter clears your plates, and you smile to yourself. He’s being courteous.
"Are you trying to get me drunk, Miller?", you ask, the corner of your mouth twitching. Joel raises an eyebrow.
"I think you’re managin’ that without my help."
He’s right, of course – your long day of traveling makes the buzz in your head more prominent, and although you’re nowhere near drunk, your tongue is a little looser than usually, and you find it much easier to hold Joel’s eye-contact.
"I’m glad I came here," you say all of a sudden, the thought fleeting, but true. "I needed a break."
Joel’s smile is honest, when he answers.
"I’m glad you came, too. It’d be boring, bein’ here on my own."
"Right," you say, "who would get you to drink cocktails? You’d be stuck drinking disgusting whiskey and wallowing in your loneliness."
Joel smiles, shaking his head slightly, and takes a sip of his Gin.
"You wanna head down to the beach?", you ask when your glasses are empty and you feel a little woozy from the second cocktail. Joel looks surprised.
"I love the sea at night," you say a little dreamily, voice trailing off.
"Sure. Let’s go," Joel just answers.
The air outside is cool, just like you anticipated, and you shiver slightly, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep the goosebumps at bay. Joel notices, and immediately shrugs out of his linen shirt, handing it to you. You stare at him.
"Take it," he insists, and you do, the fabric soft in your hands. You slip it on, the sleeves coming down to your fingertips, the collar smelling of Joel’s cologne. You wonder why it took you two cocktails to notice how good he smells. When you’re done rolling up the sleeves, you look up and find Joel watching you quietly. Your eyes meet – he looks away, and starts walking again.
You’re pleasantly tipsy, walking to the beach at night, wearing Joel Miller’s clothes and brushing his arm with yours every once in a while. It feels a little surreal.
"Aren’t you cold now?", you ask after a couple of minutes of quiet.
"No," Joel answers, his voice a little rougher than before, "’sides, you wear it better anyway."
You flush, and when you don’t answer, he looks at you.
"Jesus, sorry," he mumbles. "I didn’t…it slipped out. Just meant you look pretty, is all."
Your stomach swirls pleasantly, and you want Joel to put his arm around your shoulder, or kiss you, or take that shirt off again. You clear your throat.
"Thanks," you answer quietly, toying with the hem of the shirt. "I think you wore it well, too, though. Suits you."
Joel doesn’t answer, but when you glance at him, you notice the ghost of a smile on his face, half-hidden by his patchy beard.
You walk the rest of the way in contemplative silence, each of you lost in your thoughts. You’re always amazed to see the sea at night. The darkness somehow elevates its vastness, water and sky bleeding into each other at the near invisible horizon. It’s easy to forget about your exams here, with the whole expanse of the planet spread out before you, the relentlessly calm sound of the waves, and Joel’s scent in your nose. You sit down on an abandoned deck chair and watch Joel walk up to the water, pick up a seashell, and drop it into the water again. He seems content to be here, you think. Relaxed. You don’t know him well, but his body language seems more at ease than it did back home. Perhaps you’re not the only one who needed a break.
You get up again, and walk over to Joel, who smiles when he sees you coming.
"You were right," he says, "it’s different in the dark."
You know he means the sea, the beach, the lack of people around, the sand that burned your feet only hours ago now having a cooling effect. Still, his words leave room for interpretation and you don’t miss the way his gaze moves over your form in his shirt.
"Thanks for the cocktails," you say quietly, "and the shirt."
Joel looks over at you, but you don’t have the guts to look at him. You can’t quite be sure what the moonlight and scenery will make you do, not when he’s never looked more handsome, and you’re more than tipsy.
"You’re welcome," he says honestly. "I know you’re doin’ this for your Dad more than anything, but I hope you’re still havin’ fun."
He’s self-conscious, or something close to it, wondering how he could make this trip more enjoyable for you – so he orders cocktails he doesn’t like and lets you wear his clothes.
"I am having fun," you reassure him. "I’m at the beach at night wearing a guy’s shirt who got me all the cocktails I wanted, instead of studying at my desk for the millionth night in a row."
Joel chuckles.
"My Dad should break his leg more often," you sigh, digging the heel of your foot into the sand. Joel doesn’t answer.
When you walk back to the hotel, you feel the ghost of his hand on your lower back, not touching, but lingering, as if he instinctively wants to stir you in the right direction, or keep you from stumbling. It makes that flutter in your stomach reappear.
You pass reception to get to the elevators, and the same woman is still there, smiling when he recognizes you.
"You two enjoying the sea?", she asks.
"Very much, thank you," you answer, "we had cocktails and walked to the beach."
The lady looks pleased at how happy you seem and smiles at Joel.
"I’m glad to hear it! Well, you two enjoy your Daddy-daughter trip," she says, before answering the telephone that starts ringing just as you’re about to say good-night.
Joel’s brows are furrowed when you look at him, which makes you suppress a grin. The lady assuming he’s your father is clearly bothering him, and you get the feeling it might not entirely be about his age.
When you’ve made it up to your rooms, you turn to Joel to find him already watching you. He looks different here, in the harsh light of the corridor, dark shadows falling over his features, his form somehow looking broader.
"Breakfast at nine?", he asks you, voice quiet so as not to disturb any other guests in their rooms.
"Yeah," you say, and before you can change your mind, you kiss his cheek. His expression is unreadable, when you pull away.
"Goodnight," you say with a tired smile, before teasingly adding "Daddy."
Joel holds your eye contact, and doesn’t flush this time.
"Careful," he says gently, voice low and dark. You swallow.
Before you can forget, you shrug off his shirt, but Joel doesn’t move to take it from your outstretched hand. After a beat, his eyes flicker over your face.
"Keep it," he says curtly, "I like it on ya."
And then he’s gone, the door to his room shutting with a soft thud. You shake your head slightly, and press the soft linen fabric against your nose, inhaling the scent of his cologne and sweat. You ache just at the thought of it having touched his skin, and him now wanting to see you in it, but it would feel like a violation if you relieved that ache now, even if Joel wasn’t there, so you ignore the dull throbbing between your legs best as you can and go to bed with Joel’s shirt right next to your bed.
***
The next morning you feel a little nervous about breakfast – something shifted between you and Joel after your good-bye in the hallway. He seemed so sure of himself when he told you he liked you in his shirt, so unwavering, and you’re a nervous wreck just thinking about saying good morning to him.
Instead of putting on the white sundress you wore yesterday, you slip into a bikini, a pair of comfortable shorts, and Joel’s linen shirt, half unbuttoned so that your necklace peeks out. This time you leave the sleeves un-rolled, liking how big it feels on you, a constant reminder of Joel’s size.
You wash your face and brush your teeth, but don’t shower since you’re going to have to do that in the evening anyway. Although you’re mostly excited to see Joel again, you also can’t wait to have your morning coffee and something to eat – you hope the breakfast buffet will be as good as dinner was.
You wait for Joel in the hallway, but when he doesn’t come out of his room, you knock on his door.
"One second," his voice comes from inside, and you wait leaning against the wall just like he did the day before. When he opens the door, you can’t suppress a smile – his hair is charmingly tousled from his sleep, he clearly didn’t know what to do with it without taking a shower first.
"Nice hair," you say, the corner of your mouth twitching. Joel doesn’t answer, with his brows slightly furrowed he keeps staring at you. Anxiety floods your veins, and you wonder if it was the best idea to dress the way you did, if Joel might think of it as strange or creepy or pathetic.
"You’re wearing my shirt," he says, voice quiet and still rough from sleep. It’s not a question, just a statement, no judgement behind it. You swallow, watching his brown eyes trail over your arms, torso, your shorts.
"Yeah," you answer timidly, fighting the urge to cross your arms. "You said you liked it on me."
Joel’s eyes snap up to yours, and with all the courage you can muster up, you hold his gaze for several long seconds.
"I did."
Again, just a statement. One that doesn’t require an answer, but you feel like shrinking under Joel’s gaze, so you offer him an out out of the situation.
"I’ll take it off, if you want me to," you mutter, and quickly add "I’ll put on something else."
Joel watches you quietly, and finally runs a hand through his messy hair.
"No need, kid," he says with a defeated sounding exhale. "’M glad ya like it."
***
Breakfast is a welcome distraction from whatever happened in the hallway – you drink too much coffee, and try all of the delicious food offered: bacon and eggs, colorful fruit you have never seen before, yoghurt and pancakes. Joel sticks to coffee and toast, though he does steal one of the peaces of fruit from your plate.
"I’ll get one more cup," you say when you have drained the last of your coffee, and Joel chuckles.
"Might as well do a line," he says and you snort, but stay seated – he’s right, you should watch your caffeine intake. He watches you, and after a second raises an eyebrow.
"I didn’t mean anything by it. You drink as much coffee as you want."
His voice is apologetic and soft.
"No, I’ll do as you say," you answer, "or I’ll die of heart failure."
Something flashes over his face at those words, but you can’t pinpoint it. Still, your stomach flutters, when Joel doesn’t break the eye-contact.
After breakfast the two of you get your towels and the rest of your beach-belongings from your rooms, and Joel changes into his trunks again. You walk past reception quietly, the lady from the day before isn’t there, and Joel’s arm brushes against yours casually. Suddenly you wish you weren’t wearing his shirt, just to feel his skin against yours. It’s a little pathetic.
Joel gets you two deckchairs – the beach is still relatively empty – and you put on sunscreen. When you’re done with your limbs and stomach, you offer Joel the bottle.
"Do my back, please?"
"Sure," he mutters, taking the bottle from you, and gently stroking your hair out of the way. He’s quiet, holding you steady by the shoulder when you instinctively squirm away from the initial cold of the liquid on your skin, his hands calloused but gentle. From time to time, his fingers slip under the shoulder straps of your bikini, and you feel heat pool between your legs when he starts covering your lower back in sunscreen. His hand is dangerously close to the waistband of your swimsuit.
"All done," he says, closing the bottle. You raise an eyebrow.
"Don’t need sunscreen," he explains, "I don’t burn easy."
"You’ll get skin cancer," you argue. "Everybody needs sunscreen."
He huffs, but hands you the bottle and turns around to sit down on the deckchair. You watch his beautiful back, the way the skin ripples over his muscles, how broad and solid it seems. You squirt some of the sunscreen onto your hand and apply it to Joel’s shoulders, rubbing gently. He relaxes under your touch, the tension leaving his muscles, and you move your hands more deliberately, focusing on his shoulders, until Joel’s head falls forward slightly, giving into the sensation.
"Good?", you ask, a little shy.
Joel hums, and you wonder if his eyes are closed, if he’s enjoying your touch so much he can’t form a full sentence. You dig the heels of your palms into his muscles, the sunscreen making the slide easy. His skin his littered in freckles and birthmarks, marked by years of working under the sun.
"You always apply sunscreen like that?", Joel asks suddenly, and you flush.
"Most people aren’t this tense," you quip back, fingers gliding over Joel’s neck. "Actually, nobody’s ever been this tense, I think."
He shakes his head slightly, but lets you carry on, working your way down his back, the tan line of his trunks visible and oh so tempting. You imagine pulling them down and try to refrain from clenching your thighs together.
When you’re done, Joel’s muscles feel a little looser, more relaxed, and he turns around to look at you.
"Thanks," he says quietly, and you nod. Now that he can see you, look you directly in the eye, it feels almost absurdly bold to have touched him like that. Still, things have started to unravel a little. Lines have blurred.
Although you don’t know where you get the courage from, you hold his gaze, put one hand on his shoulder, and squeeze.
"Any time, Joel," you answer, and watch him swallow. Then, his own hand comes up to yours, and you half think he’s going to remove yours, but he just loosely wraps his fingers around your wrist, eyes not leaving yours.
"That’s a dangerous game you’re playin’, kid," he says quietly, but doesn’t let go of you. You hope he never does.
"Do you…want me to stop?", you ask him, because you will if this is making him uncomfortable, if you read him wrong. He’s silent for a second.
"No," he says so quietly it’s almost inaudible. His thumb starts moving over your wrist, right over the pulse point, and it makes you weak in the knees. You didn’t know a touch as small as that one could be so erotic, but with Joel it seems, everything is. You fight to not let a whimper escape your mouth, and close your eyes for just a second.
"God," Joel mutters, more to himself than to you, "look at you."
Your eyes snap open when you feel him move, hand still locked around your wrist securely, and suddenly he’s towering over you. You gaze up at him, his eyes bright under the blazing sun, his hair still tousled, his beard patchy and flecked with grey. He’s all man, in a way you didn’t know you found desirable before him, but there is undeniable proof of your want leaking into your swimsuit, sticky and hot between your thighs.
He watches you, intense eyes moving over your face, your eyes, your mouth, your hands, your body in your nicest swimsuit, your throat as you swallow. His other hand comes up to stroke the hair away from your neck, and goosebumps erupt on your skin. Joel almost chuckles, but it’s more the ghost of a breath. You flush.
"It’s fucking stupid to go through with this," Joel says seriously, like he wants to inform you of it – as if you don’t know.
"Yes," you breathe, because he’s completely right.
"Your Dad would kill me, and rightly so," he adds.
"Oh, fuck my Dad," you answer, trying to reach out to touch Joel, but your wrist is still tightly locked in his grasp. You tug a little, but he doesn’t budge.
"You doin’ this to get back at him?"
You detect something in his voice you don’t like – uncertainty.
"No, Joel," you breathe, "God, no. Have you looked into a mirror recently?"
That makes him smile, and you wonder if he gets compliments a lot, but by the way his cheeks gain color, you don’t think he does. Stupid, stupid world, stupid people who came before you. He should be told every second of the day.
"It’s still stupid,“ he says, but his eyes are more intense than before now. You’re on holiday, away from all judgement. You can do whatever you want to do to each other.
"Thought I was the smart one in my family," you tease, reminding him of his words on the plane. You want him to lean down and finally kiss you, or throw you down on the deckchair and fuck you right there, your face pressed into his linen shirt. His thumb keeps moving over your wrist, relentlessly building tension.
"Take me to your room," you whisper, eyes wide, and anticipation pooling deep in your belly. Joel curses.
"You have any idea of the things I wanna do to you?"
His voice is low, dangerous, and you’d be at least a little afraid if this one anyone else. But it’s Joel, who lets you hate your degree without judgement, drinks cocktails he doesn’t like just so you can enjoy yourself, and through his permission allows you to stop studying, lets you enjoy this trip.
"Do them," you breathe, "I’ll let you do anything."
"Jesus fucking Christ, kid," he answers, and finally lets go of your wrist, one hand coming to rest on your waist, tugging you towards him, the other gently cradling your face. His breath ghosts over your mouth, and then he brushes your lips with his in a needy, slow kiss. His tongue slips into your mouth and you open up for him willingly. He tugs your hips against him, making you whimper and feel his bulge dig into your stomach.
The only thing keeping you from pulling him out of his swimming trunks right then is the fact that there are people around, and you’re pushing it already with the way his hands grasp at your skin and his tongue licks in your mouth. Any further and you could be arrested for public indecency.
"Please," you ask him between kisses, "Please, Joel, just take me to your room."
His teeth dig into your lower lip, and you fight a moan.
"Ask me again," he says, voice a little wrecked, and the need you feel for him deep in your stomach burns white hot. He wants you to beg.
"Please," you say, like he isn’t stripping you of your dignity instead of your clothes, but you can’t bring yourself to feel embarrassed, not when Joel groans at the sound.
"Alright, kid. I’ve got you.“
#my burning sun will someday rise#mine#my writing#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us part 1#the last of us#the last of us fanfiction#pedro pascal#pedrohub#pedro hub#pedro pascal characters#game joel miller#hbo joel#hbo tlou
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I May be a Kid but I’m not a Kid Kid.
When Billy’s secret identity was revealed, he started getting treated like a little kid. It really annoys him whenever these guys try to baby him.
Supes: “Billy, uhm… we were wondering if you would like to be moved to the Teen Titans.”
Marvel: “What…?” *sounds absolutely horrified at the thought of that* “Why?”
Supes: “You’d around kids your age.”
Marvel: *stares and blinks rapidly* “Are you saying you’re gonna demote me to the Teen Titans of all things? No offense.”
Supes: “Billy, it’s not a demotion.”
Marvel: “But it is. I’ve been on this team for what? Four years- almost five. You guys are acting like my age automatically means I can’t be a good hero anymore.”
Supes: “We’re not saying that. We just think it’d be good if you were on a team of heroes around your age.”
Marvel: “But you are. You’re literally all but saying it. I like those kids but not enough to want to be on a team with them.” *doesn’t know if he’d like listening to Robin’s condescension in more than small doses* “I prefer you guys. We’re still friends, aren’t we?”
Supes: “Of course!” *happy Billy is still somewhat comfortable around them*
Marvel: “Good.” *smiles* “Besides, I do hang out with kids around my age. Mary and I are the same age while Junior’s a year older than us.”
Supes: “He’s the oldest?”
This conversation got them to back off about kicking him off the team. That didn’t stop them from poking their stupid adult noses into other parts of Billy’s heroics though.
Marvel: *helping someone at like 2am because he patrols as much as he can*
Supes: “Captain! Whatcha doing up this late, champ?”
Marvel: *makes a face that being called champ, but doesn’t say anything about it* “Uh… patrolling? *finishes helping the person*
Supes: “Patrolling? It’s a little late- er early for that. Isn’t it?”
Marvel: “I guess…? I still have a couple more hours.”
Supes: “Shouldn’t you be turning in earlier?”
Marvel: “No…?”
Supes: “Aren’t you tired though? Kids need plenty of sleep.”
Marvel: *a little irked at being called a kid but brushes it off* “Stamina of Atlas, remember?”
Supes: “Oh.” *silence* “Well, maybe you could still turn in earlier?”
Marvel: *looks around for any hidden cameras* “No.”
Supes: “Oh okay…” *doesn’t really want to seem controlling so he just sulks while flying back to Metropolis*
Don’t worry, Superman trying to give him a curfew isn’t the only thing a nosy adult tried to do.
Marvel: “Mr. Batman Sir? Are the new long term mission signs up sheets out yet?”
Batman: “Ah, yes.” *hands him the sign up tablet* “There are three new ones.”
Marvel: “Great! Any potential overlaps?”
Batman: “Only these two.” *points to two missions*
Marvel: “How long would these two last?” *points to one of the overlapping missions and the one that doesn’t overlap*
Batman: “Together would be about a month and a half or longer.”
Marvel: “Cool.” *is about to sign up for them*
Batman: *remembers school exists* “And school?”
Marvel: *pauses so he can look at Bruce confused* “What about it?”
Batman: “If you sign up for these, you’ll miss at least a month or two. You’d be stuck catching up.”
Marvel: *laughs* “You say that if I actually go to school.”
Batman: “You don’t?”
Marvel: “No.”
Batman: “I see.” *takes the tablet away before Billy can sign* “Well, you’ll go now then.”
Marvel: *thinks he’s joking* “What?”
Batman: “I’ll enroll you in a school in Fawcett.”
Marvel: *stares for a solid minute* “Mr. Batman Sir, you’re not sending me to school.”
Batman: “Yes, I am. William-”
Marvel: “Don’t call me that.”
Batman: *sighs* “Billy, education is important. You shouldn’t put it off for heroics. Even Robin goes to school.”
Marvel: “Okay? I’m not a Robin though. And that only works because you guys patrol at night. If I go to school I’ll miss my day-patrol.”
Batman: “I’m sure there are plenty of other heroes in Fawcett who patrol during the day. Why not leave it to one of them?”
Marvel: “Because I don’t want to. I like saving people. The more heroes who are out in Fawcett, the less likely somebody might get glossed over and hurt because a hero wasn’t there in time to save them. I don’t wanna be the person that failed them just because I was busy with school or because I went to bed early… I say that last part because no matter what Supes thinks, he’s not subtle about wanting me to have a darn curfew.”
Batman: *stares in silence because he now feels a little bad and also empathizes with that “what if I’m not there mentality*
Marvel: *thinks that silence is Bruce still not understanding him* “Look, if you still don’t get what I’m trying to say, imagine if someone came into Gotham and tried pushing you out of the superhero business just because they thought you unfit to be hero. That’s how I feel in this situation. I don’t tell you guys how to your jobs, so why are you trying to tell me?” *reaches over to grab the tablet a sign up for the two missions he wanted to take*
Yeah… Batman started treating him normally after that. Supes also did because his superhearing caught the convo.
Then, there’s his relationship with Flash and GL. They’d taken to treating him like a little kid or nephew even though Billy doesn’t want that.
Marvel: “Could you guys uh- stop treating me like a kid?” *sounds disappointed them*
Flash: *somehow still feels dread at the disappointment even though, NO, this guy is younger than him, why does Barry still feel like he disappointed his dad?* “You are a kid though.”
Marvel: “Yeah, I know, but you didn’t used to do this before.”
GL: *also dislikes that he’s bothered by the Dad Disappointment™️ radiating off of Marvel* “That was before we knew you were a kid though.”
Marvel: “Yeah, well I don’t care. I don’t need you to act like this. I don’t want you to act like this. I want friends, not chaperones or parental figures or anything stupid like that. I don’t like that you’re treating me differently now.” *sounds bitter* “You guys seem to forget that I’ve been doing this since before most of you were even, excuse my language, sperm cells. And sure, there was suspendium, but I fought Nazis, commies, and my own villains on top of that, all without being treated like a defenseless little kid and I ended up just fine. So I don’t need any of you acting like I’m a stupid little baby.”
That shut them up. It didn’t make any of the relationships between Billy and them go back to normal though. Not completely anyways. At least it was somewhat better though.
By the way, Billy, throughout all of this, just sounds bitter about being treated like this. He misses his friends guys :(.
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sukuna smut… ur his nephew’s hot new best friend from college…
cw: mdni!!, agegap (sukuna in late 40s, reader in early 20s), modern au, dad/daddy kink, sukuna is high key problematic, lmk if i missed anything this is just a little thing so i can continue on my writing streak haha!!
ur bff yuji’s uncle sukuna is so hot. he’s tall, covered in tattoos, had muscles that flexed with the slightest movements… god he was so fine. he asks you if you want to feel his biceps one day after he catches you staring at him working out, sitting up from the rusty bench press and lowering the weighted bar onto the frame as he wipes his forehead with his forearm. he smirks as you approach him timidly, “c’mon, i don’t bite.” he chuckles, taking your shaky hand into his and pressing it to his arm, making you press your thighs together with how close he was to you.
ur bff yuji’s uncle sukuna who starts sending yuji to the store or on little errands when you’re over at the house, spending the time his nephew was absent flirting with his sweet little friend. “skirts a little too short, don’t you think?” he’d say as if he was making a joke, raising his eyebrow when you’d become flustered with your words and start stuttering. you’d worn that skirt just for him, you were so glad he’d noticed! yuji comes back almost an hour later with shopping bags in his arms, thinking nothing of the way his uncle gives you a slip of ripped paper with his number on it.
ur bff yuji’s uncle sukuna who makes you feel like, so grown up! you and him start to hang out together, he takes you out on his motorbike and lets you drink beer with him! he treats you like a real real adult, like the adults who have mortgages and homes. you two were just two adults, doing adult things!
ur bff yuji who catches on to it and is like, sooo grossed out! he yells at sukuna, something about him being a scumbag, right in front of your face when he realises his uncle’s hand inching up your skirt. of course you’d go after him, but later… you were too wasted to leave the house now, it was dark outside and creeps were out and about!! you’d apologise to yuji later, try and get sukuna to apologise, too! it wouldn’t be hard to tell him you guys weren’t dating, because you really weren’t! sukuna just… liked to get handsy. he’s from a different time, don’t you know it was polite to grope girls as a compliment?
ur bff yuji’s uncle sukuna who tells you since you’re an adult, just like him, maybe it’s ready for you to do adult things together, behind closed doors. your worry shifted from what you’d tell yuji later to the stiff rod that poked you in your thigh as sukuna slotted his hips into yours, kissing you softly before licking your lip and nipping on it, making you gasp as he pulled away and pinched it between his teeth before he let go. “c’mon, it’ll feel good… you want your first time to be with someone experienced, right?” he coaxes as he licks your ear, his hands softly gripping your body.
ur bff yuji’s uncle sukuna who’s got you dry humping him, hips melding against each other as you both made out sloppily, his strong arms holding you in place so he could rub his clothed hard cock right against your slickening pussy. he’s somewhat gentle until you accidentally call him dad- and then uncle- and then finally sukuna, a slip of tongue like when someone would call a teacher ‘mom’ on accident. sukuna didn’t care, he wanted to tear your clothes straight off of your body. young pussy was the best, especially young drunk pussy. he couldn’t wait to promise you only the tip, just so he can keep budging himself into you until he bumped right against your cervix… couldn’t wait to bounce you up and down til you were squealing out his name all high pitched and bubbly with your sweet voice cracking—
“filthy nasty bitch- was that really an accident or did you really wanna call me dad? uncle, maybe? you like it when uncle’s balls deep in your wet cunt…? h-hah, nh- did you really just tighten up just now, fuckkk… dirty little slut loves dad’s dick, hm? fucking d-disgusting— you’re getting off more than me now, hnm?” he talks and you can hardly process his words, fucked dumb with your eyes rolled up into your skull…
sukuna couldn’t wait to show off his new pretty little thing to his friends. if he’s feeling generous, maybe he’d let them take you for a test drive too. it was only last week he listened to toji bitch and moan about how he hadn’t had good pussy in a while and it really didn’t take much for you to listen to your bff’s older, tattooed, tall and hot uncle sukuna…
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okay okay hear me out. barty and reader are the only ones in the friend group not going anywhere for christmas - they have the common room and hallways to themselves and treats hogwarts like their own mansion as they make the best of it. at least they have each other<3
been saving this one since September - thanks for your request! <3
Barty Crouch Jr x fem!reader who stay at school for the holidays [652 words]
CW: Christmas fic, fluff, uhm....spoiler about Santa not being real, implied Slytherin reader but not stated
“Get out.” Barty scoffs in disbelief.
“Swear to Merlin, hand on my heart.” You insist with a laugh. “Reindeer.”
“Let me get this straight.” Barty states, propping himself up on his elbow so he can look down at you, stretched out on the floor of the Hufflepuff common room (don’t worry about how the two of you managed to get into the Hufflepuff common room, okay?) surrounded by blankets and pillows, watching as the light from the flames danced across Barty’s face. “You’re telling me that muggle’s believe in a 1700 year old bloke who - although rather robust - manages to shimmy down their chimney’s to deliver presents to every child in the world in one night once a year before shimmying back up their chimney and taking off on a…sleigh driven by flying reindeer?”
You beam at him. “Right.”
“But they don’t believe in unicorns?” He deadpans.
“I don’t…think so? Now, granted, this Santa bloke is just a fib that parents tell their children to make them behave, so muggle adults don’t generally believe in Santa. But muggle children might believe in unicorns?”
Barty lets out a huff as he lays back down onto the pillows, one arm behind his head as he stares at the exposed beams crawling with vines.
“Santa would have had to be a wizard then, yeah? Likely one with access to a philosopher’s stone.”
You sit up excitedly, leaning onto one hand as you, now, hover over Barty. “Santa Claus… Sinterklaas… Saint Nicholas… Nicolas Flamel!”
“Nicolas Flamel was no saint.” Barty snorts. “Besides, wasn’t he born in, like, 1330?”
You scoff at him. “That’s what they want you to believe.”
“Who’s they?”
“The elves at the North Pole.” You explain solemnly, fighting the smile threatening to take over your face as Barty’s furrowed brows begin to smooth in understanding.
“That is the most absurd thing you’ve ever said in your life.” He tells you; roughly grabbing you by your middle and pulling you into him, laughing at your squeals as he tickles you relentlessly.
“I’ve not seen the two of you here before…how did you get into the Hufflepuff common room?” The Fat Friar’s ghost asks you, and the two of you are up and sprinting out of the Hufflepuff barrel hand in hand, still laughing as you make it up to the moving staircase.
“Want to see if we can answer the riddle to the Ravenclaw common room?” Barty asks mischievously as you two leap onto a set of stairs just as they began to move.
“Please,” you scoff dismissively, “that’s child's play. Let’s go see if we can guess the password to the Gryffindor common room.”
“You just want to go because you heard they have the biggest Christmas tree.” Barty accuses.
“I do.” You admit, tucking your chin into your chest and batting your eyelashes at him in faux innocence.
You watch him soften near theatrically before he pulls you into his side, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “Then the Gryffindor Christmas tree my treasure will see, hm?”
You sigh wistfully as the two of you step off the stairs. “When I have a place of my own, I want to have a huge Christmas tree with lots of decorations in every colour.”
“Yeah?” Barty asks as he wraps his arms around your middle and rests his chin on your head as you watch the portraits pass you by on the next moving staircase. “I’ll get you the biggest house you want and you can have a tree in every room; how’s that sound?”
You crane your neck so you can look up at him, his dark hair falling into his dark green eyes as he smiles down at you; content, seen, safe.
“Happy Christmas, Barty.” You murmur up at him.
His smile grows as he leans down, pausing just before his lips meet yours. “Happy Christmas, my sweet girl.”
#marauders era#marauders au#reader insert#self insert#marauders fanfiction#barty gate#bartyholics anonymous#barty crouch jr x reader#barty crouch jr x you#barty crouch jr imagine#barty crouch jr fic#barty crouch jr fluff#barty crouch jr drabble#barty crouch jr blurb#christmas fic#ellecdc fics
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„Astarion ending as the Vampire Ascendant is the correct ending for him, because it is what he wants.”
That is a claim I’ve been seeing pop up more and more often these days. And I think it’s both a very bold and a very odd claim to make.
But first things first: Hello, I’m a licensed social worker! So far, I’ve worked with children, refugees and youths with behavioural issues stemming from bullying and or abuse.
Please be aware that I will be mentioning different kinds of abuse, coping mechanisms, and victim/abuser relationships. If any of this is difficult for you, don’t force yourself through it. My jabbering about a traumatised vampire is not worth your wellbeing, not ever.
I will, however try to stick to Astarion and not use other examples. If, in any case, I do use a non-Astarion example, I’ll add a warning beforehand so that you can skip the part. And I’ll make it clear what will be discussed in the next bit, so that you have a chance to skip it entirely.
This is an effort to make this as accessible as possible for everyone that wants to indulge on a mad woman’s rambling – and I know there’s a few people that like this sort of stuff!
And, uh, there's obviously spoilers for all three acts. Serious spoilers, even.
Before I can get into the whole ‘why Astarion didn’t really want to ascend,’ we need to understand him a little more. And to understand this pretty boy’s brain, we first need to understand the gist of what we’re talking about when we throw around the word ‘abuse.’
“Abuse” is when someone is treated with cruelty, violence, or neglect – often to bad effect – on a regular basis. Repetitively. Check’s out for Astarion, I’d say, but we all knew that already. I mean, if one thing was obvious, it was this.
1. Astarions Abuse
Next we need to look at what kind of abuse Astarion faced over his long years of torment, seeing as different types of abuse will have different effects on the victim.
Not that that is anything we have to worry about with him – Astarion won the abuse lottery, to put it bluntly. In a horrible game of fate, he got everything. He himself indirectly mentions all the types of abuse he faced, albeit never using the correct terms.
The first we properly notice – fitting, seeing as it is often the most obvious form of abuse – is the physical abuse. Astarions scars are probably the biggest tell Larian could shove down our throats, only underlined by Astarion’s tale about the night itself. About how Cazador ‘misspelled something’ every time he flinched or screamed and had to do ‘many corrections. On top of this, Cazador locked Astarion up for months on end and tortured him – or had him tortured – on a regular basis both as a rite and as a punishment.
Next up, we have the fact that Astarion was forced to basically prostitute himself repeatedly. This is what we call sexual exploitation.
“I spent two hundred years using my body to lure pretty things back for my Master.” – Act 2
Two hundred years is a long time, filled with great many people. Now, we don’t know how many of those people actually tapped into the sexual exploitation and how many he could just lure back with other means, but the fact that it happened a lot is undeniable.
Next we have a form of abuse that we often disregard in adults: Neglect. It sounds odd, I know, saying that a fully grown adult was neglected. They can care for themselves, can they not?
Well. Yes and no.
Adult neglect is proceeded by the condition that one adult has to lean on another adult to fulfil their needs for whatever reason. This could be anything, from disability to income-based issues.
Seeing as Astarion had absolutely nothing, while Cazador had everything, we can assume this was the case. Cazador had the house, the money, the power. Astarion owns but one pair of clothes, assumedly, that he has fixes over and over again. Fair to say, that’s pretty neglectful. (And it’s one more reason to shower the guy in pretty armour and camp clothes. Go ham, people.)
Last we have the form of abuse we actually get to witness later in the game – emotional abuse.
Once again, it’s undeniable that this happened. Especially since we’re all seeing it in the flesh upon meeting Cazador in his crypt.
“Have you no respect for yourself?”
“I strove for perfection in all things. Even those as imperfect as you.”
“A pity you amounted to so little, despite my efforts.”
“A pathetic little boy who never amounted to anything.”
All Act 3, Crypt
Here we have just a few examples of things Cazador throws in his face. It’s like reading a textbook on emotional abuse, this one (and it’s definitely a reason to throw hands).
Blaming the victim, keeping their sense of self and their self-worth as tiny as possible to make them cower and flee. A true classic.
This pretty much shows that Astarion suffered all forms of abuse we commonly see and it is implied – once again by Astarion himself – that at least a few of those instances were ritualistic.
Now, what does that mean exactly? Well, I fear I need to use a real example here, so please skip the next paragraph.
Ritualistic doesn’t refer to a proper ritual – it can, but that’s mostly a thing for those in a cult. So, we’re not necessarily talking about a ‘Vampire Ascendent Ritual’. A husband, beating his wife every evening after his third bottle of beer is also called ritual abuse. It happens regularly. It is part of a routine. Both parties know what will happen.
I can’t find the exact quote, so I’m working of my memory here, but at one point he said that when Cazador invited him to eat and he said yes, he would be served a putrid rat. If he said no, he’d be beaten.
The way it was phrased made it clear that it happened more than once and that Astarion clearly knew what would happen. So, this can be classified as ritualistic abuse.
2. A Note on Conditioning and Compliance
By default, abuse victims are conditioned to behave a certain way or in a certain fashion. This is a natural response to avoid further abuse.
In Astarion, the thing we see most often is his inherent need to please. Not literally, he doesn’t mind being an arsehole. But he initially feels the need to follow Tav’s orders, even if they go against his own wishes.
This can be clearly seen in the conversation with Araj Oblodra. Astarion very clearly doesn’t want to bite her. He doesn’t. But he will do so, if Tav tells him to. This behaviour is not conscious – he doesn’t know why he does it, he just does – and it is to be expected. This is how he kept himself save for two centuries, so of course he will fall back into his usual pattern when the pressure is high.
This goes hand in hand with the fact that most abuse victims don’t fight. Maybe initially, but not after long term abuse. Especially not after two fucking centuries.
This is true in Astarion – offered by his ‘siblings’ during act 3 and unhappily acquiesced by the man himself. Astarion stopped fighting and, once again implied, cowered, and did as he was told in order to survive.
3. The Astarion we know and love
Obviously, all that abuse does have an impact on our vampire boyfriend. He shows various common signs of abuse and just like with the forms of abuse, Astarion raked every coping mechanism he could find. (Not really, but it feels like it.) It’s also important to note that nearly all of the following things happen inwardly. Astarion is not one of the victims, that tries to rationalise and minimise the actions of his abuser. Quite the opposite, actually.
I’ll note from the beginning, that rationalisation will not be covered in this bit, as most examples will be important later on. But he definitely does it.
One of his biggest skills is to hide every ounce of fear or hurt behind sarcasm and snarky theatrics. He doesn’t seem to hide his anger much, though, so that’s something! Our boy is cool with anger, not so much with being afraid.
“Ahahaha, now that you mention it….I might have done…that.” – Act 3, regarding the Gur children
“The thing that will decide my fate forever more? Yeees, it’s been on my miiiind. Why?” – Act 2, regarding the Ritual
And there’s many more instances that prove this. Honestly, half his dialogue is sarcasm, so it would really be too long to get into and we all know what I mean, right? We have alltalked to the guy before. It’s obvious that he’s sarcastic to a fault.
This goes hand in hand with his penchant for defensiveness. I would personally state that he’s simply not really good with guilt. When talking about fear, he usually just opts for sarcasm or avoids the topic completely, but guilt especially has his defences going up. This is also when he’s most likely to shove all the blame off to Cazador.
“Don’t look at me like that. Cazadors orders.” – Act 3, Crypt
“I just did what I had to!” – Act 3, Crypt
And don’t get me wrong, he does that anyway. And with good reason. Astarion didn’t have a choice for the most part, but he’s still easy to shove things off.
This kind of connects to his penchant for denial.
Astarion doesn’t really like to talk about most things. He firmly believes he is an ‘action’ sort of person that just does instead of plans, which invertedly just means he’s great at pushing the thinking stuff away. He also likes to get rid of stuff, so that he doesn’t need to face it ever again.
“I never want to see these little scraps of misery again. The world doesn’t need to know my shame.” – Act 3, about the children
And yes, this partly rings true. He’s probably ashamed and doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s done. But it’s also very clear that he himself simply doesn’t want to face his own actions, something that is just underlined by his extreme willingness to red rid of the other spawn.
As mentioned by Astarion himself, he’s big on manipulation. I mean, I don’t think there is much explaining necessary. The guy is willing to do a whole lot in order to get what he desires – which mostly revolves around safety and survival, to be honest – and he’s not really shy about it either. And that’s despite the fact that he doesn’t really like intimacy – especially in form of sex.
It’s not a secret that Astarion is not big on sex and anything surrounding it. This goes far enough for people to consider him either ace or ace coded.
A claim that, personally, I’m not super in line with.
Now, it’s not entirely wrong and if this is your head cannon I’m surely not going to stand in your way – but on a larger spectrum, I think he’s more traumatised than ace. And while those go hand in hand sometimes, it’s a bit difficult for the ace community if you attach traumatised characters to them because it can fuel a whole lot of stigma that is honestly neither needed nor wanted. But I digress!
If it comes to his own behaviour, he’s great at minimising his mistakes. Honestly, he’s a master of minimisation. A very obvious and famous example would be:
“’Killed’ feels like a…strong word. Not many corpses have your vigour.” – Act 1, after killing Tav
Astarion. You literally sucked poor Tav dry and left them flopping around, cold, and dead. Killed is exactly the right word and we all know it.
“Quite the deviation from my usual routine. Capture, not lure. I didn’t bring them in with sweet rolls or anything.” – Act 3, Gur Children
This is another attempt at minimising what he did, if a bit less obvious because at this point there isn’t much he can say. But at least he didn’t sexualise the gur children, right? They’re still spawn but whoo, at least that didn’t happen.
The next point would be dissociation, which is extremely common in abuse victims – of all forms of abuse.
Astarion himself mentioned certain moments that could be classified as dissociation over course of the story, which is probably the coping mechanism I personally expected the most.
The pale elf has a penchant for violence, but he’s not entirely shameless or abhorrently vile, which gets clearer the more the story progresses. So, two hundred years of forced prostitution, torture and doing whatever other horrible things? Yeah, I’d be more surprised if he didn’t dissociate.
Examples of that would be:
“A moment of disgust to push myself through and then I could’ve carried on, just like before.” – Act 2, after Araj
“I felt nothing the moment I handed them over.” – Act 3, Gur Children
“Did you enjoy it? It felt like you weren’t fully there.” – Act 1, Tav after Sex
The latter is generally more of an assumption than actual prove, but with context it does make sense.
The last common sign of abuse we find in our boyfriend would be his low self-worth. It’s a consistent trait that stays over the course of all three acts, noticeable in many different conversations.
We can see it in his reaction to wanting to break up before finishing his story. We can see it in his genuine surprise when Tav picks him over any of the other characters. We see it in his insecurity whenever Tav asks to sleep with another character. He’s fine with it, but he still worries their decision to sleep with someone else is based on something he did.
It eases up ever so slightly after Cazador is dead, but even then he’s still struggling which is once again perfectly illustrated if you try to break up with him.
“Oh shit. I- Did I do something wrong?”
That is the first thing he asks and I think it speaks for itself. He genuinely doesn’t believe he has much to offer and for Astarion, it’s likely that Astarion will always be the problem.
4. "Oh, I tried them all none of them answered.”
Another big thing that’s important to note, is that Astarion was never saved. No one came to save him from Cazador. There was no darling boy on a white steed riding into that castle to rescue him and princess carry him away. Not even the gods answered his desperate calls.
So, he never received any kindness or luck. To him, the world seems as cruel and horrid as before because he didn’t have the chance to experience goodness in two centuries.
But worse than that, he didn’t even get to save himself. Astarion didn’t stand up to Cazador, he didn’t run out of his own might.
He was beaten to near death and ‘saved’ by Cazador, who would become his abuser.
He tried to save someone and, in turn, was locked up and starved for an entire year.
He was abducted by mind flayers, i.e., saved from Cazador, only to end up tadpoled and on the cusp of getting a fancy, squiddy beard.
Anything that’s good, any kindness, any selfless action…it all came with a ginormous price tag.
5. Over the Course of the Story
Astarions behaviour changes a whole lot over the course of three acts – which is important once we talk about his quests climax – so let’s review what we’re working with!
Act 1 Astarion is guarded as fuck. The man has walls around him that are so high, even the gods can touch them.
A lot of his behaviour in act 1 revolves around staying save and staying liked. He lies, manipulates, and flutters his lashes in order to get what he wants and needs. Instead of asking, like Wyll, Karlach and Gale do, Astarion uses all he has to offer to get by. He is still very much in survival mode and tries to weasel his way through an unfamiliar situation with familiar methods.
On top of that, and most notably, he’s absolutely not fond of kindness or selflessness.
#I saved a child and now my boyfriend is mad
Here, we are most likely to gain disapproval for doing the decent thing – unless you sent him outside for a minute whenever you’re being a good person.
And I’d assume that this is because of two things.
First: The very traditional ‘Why not me?’
As I mentioned before, Astarion wasn’t saved. He hasn’t experienced kindness in a very long time so seeing that the world is literally filled with kind people is hurtful. Why didn’t anyone save him? Why was he left to his own devices for so long? Why should he care about others when it’s so clear that no one ever cared about him? No, dead to all of them. If he didn’t get it, neither will they.
“And what am I owed? What about the injustices I suffered? Am I not entitled to anything?” – Act 3, Crypt
“I was in the prime of my life when I was turned. Everything was taken from me too.” – Act 3, Crypt
And secondly is the fact that, as I mentioned, goodness always has a price. And it’s one most people won’t be willing to pay. That’s how his life has been, so why would theirs be different?
This is precisely why Astarion may disapprove of kind actions, but he mostly neither approves nor disapproves if Tav asks for payment. That’s just how the world works.
Once you venture out into act 2, after getting to know him a whole lot more, he starts to mellow a bit – if only towards Tav.
“He’s afraid, so afraid, of everyone but you, who she should fear the most.” – Sceleritas about Astarion
His approval is a lot easier to gain – or at least keep! – and he tends to approve of some more proper actions. He doesn’t throw a fit if you promise to find Mol, he approves of Tav being kind to His Majesty, of saving Aylin and he even approves of Durge apologising to Isobel after threatening to rip her to pieces.
He's slowly starting to open up, allowing Tav to see some parts of him he previously kept hidden. He accepts their offer to help, if hesitantly and, by god, the man starts experimenting with boundaries.
The social worker in me is shedding tears at this. It’s my favourite thing to see in my clients and it’s no different here. Yay to saying no!
Of course, it’s still a bit hit or miss. If Tav urges him to bite Araj, for example, he will only to later notice that he didn’t fucking have to. He recognises this on his own and he calls Tav out on it. Just like he calls them out on not helping him with his Orthon quest.
Good job, chap. Good fucking job.
And the growth-train won’t stop going even as we reach act 3.
In act 3, there’s not many things he disapproves as of right now – those he does, mostly have to do with how Tav treats him and not with anyone else. In fact, he’s more likely to approve good behaviour now, like giving Yenna food or money.
And yes, we need to consider that this could simply be because he gets used to Tav’s behaviour and just learns to roll with it. But it’s also highly likely that he notices that there’s truly good people around. At least one person. And that person is not only good, no, they’re in the process of helping him break free once and for all.
They’re helping him save himself.
By act 3, he has learned that he can absolutely say his piece where Tav is concerned and he’s more likely to disagree with them on certain things. It’s seen during a lot of small dialogue that he’s no longer terribly afraid to be honest with them, willing to listen and talk and he’ll ask for help if he needs it.
“I can do this. But I need your help.” – Act 3, Crypt
Something that can be viewed both positively and negatively is that he’s definitely loyal to a fault. He will stick by Tav’s side, no matter what.
“I really hoped we could avoid being pawns for a dark god, but here we are, I suppose. I’m with you, my dear, wherever this might lead.” – Act 3, After Jaheira confronts durge
As I said, this can be both positive and negative. On one count, it’s a recipe for disaster, seeing as he could be waltzing into a really bad situation for Tav alone.
But on the other side…this is a man who only cared about himself because that is the only person he could afford to care about. He needed to survive. He now has enough room to breathe and the capacity to care for someone else and I’d be inclined to count that as a good thing.
6. The Crypt
All the progress he made in act 2 and 3 is nearly tossed into the wind as soon as the crew enters Cazadors castle.
It’s not an immediate thing, of course.
At first, Astarion tries to stay light and simple and he hides behind flippant tones and relaxed faces. The way he recounts this is almost comically disinterested and the façade is actually quite good.
It’s start’s cracking after we meet Godie, one of the people who tortured him on more than one account, but he mostly manages to remain as upbeat as one can honestly expect for the first half of the journey.
All that, however, is done for the very moment we meet Sebastian. His mask not only slips, no, it full on shatters and there’s none of his apparent lightness left.
Which, of course it does.
The man is suddenly faced with years and years and years of victims. Innocent, unlucky people he lured back to his master over two centuries. People he liked, people he pitied.
“It’s sickening, seeing them again.”
It’s basically a room filled with guilt, exclusively for Astarion. And, as we mentioned before…Astarion is not great with guilt.
The guilt, however, is not where it ends.
No, he’s also faced with reflections of his own past. The spawn pose as reminders of what he did, sure, but also as reminders of what he was.
Weak, desperate, hungry.
There’s an abundance of images of his worst moments, reflected back at him in the thousands. It’s probably like staring into a funhouse mirror, but instead of seeing yourself in a funky way he just sees everything he so desperately doesn’t want to be.
“It should be [who I am]! I don’t want to be like them. They’re pathetic, horrible…”
He’s forcefully made aware of how darn weak he can be, which claws at all the wounds he’s barely had time to close. Something, he of course won’t admit if asked.
“THEY DO NOT [remind me of myself]. That weakness in me is dead, IT’S DEAD. I have a higher purpose.”
The high pressure of the moment brings out all of his act 1 traits in but a few moments. You can pretty much watch how he starts to shut down mid conversation, one of his old walls snapping back into place to remove himself from the situation.
Thing is though, walls usually become a bit brittle after disuse. Especially when talking to a person you don’t usually want to wall out.
Or, in his case, when talking to Tav.
After meeting Sebastian, Astarion shows extreme reactions to Tav nudging any of his weak spots. His reaction varies on whatever choice you make, but it ranges from aggression to defensiveness, to denial and even to downright begging Tav.
“Don’t hate me. I just did what I had to. I swear I did what I had to.”
This probably the most shocking out of all of them, since that is not something we got to witness before. The begging is likely a mixture of intense fear of losing Tav, his low self-esteem and pre-Tav behaviour, since we can assume that Cazador made him beg more than once.
Another old coat he puts back on would also be the least surprising of them all.
Manipulation.
He falls right back into it, using Tav’s affection to get what he want if we trigger the right action.
“If they die and I ascend, I won't have to rely on the parasite to walk in the sun. I'll be free. Truly completely free. Isn't that what you want?”
This, to me, was probably the biggest tell that Astarion was back in survival mode. He’s panicking, for fucks sake, and who can blame the guy? He’s back. He’s about to face down his abuser.
Of course he’s fucking panicking.
Panic leads to an increased craving for safety and, in his case, power. This is why he clings to Tav, why he begs them to love him still. And this is why he jumps head first into the rationalisation pool.
“I will need to sacrifice them all if I want to perform the ritual. - [You can save them.] – What’s the point? They're as good as dead! I thought they were dead. If they are unleashed, they will cause incredible carnage. […] They must die. Better they serve a purpose.”
Another textbook example.
They must die anyway. They’re basically dead. No need to save them now. They’re dangerous, I’m doing the right thing by sacrificing them. I already thought they were dead, so it’s not changing anything for me. They’re a lost cause and I deserve all this power. I deserve it, because I suffered and nothing will change if they die.
So, seeing as we already spoke about his usual behaviour in act 3 – behaviour he showed after we allowed him to breathe and be himself for a while – I think we can fairly easily conclude he’s not thinking straight.
Astarion is right back in survival mode, where all that matters is he himself. If it weren’t for the seven thousand spawns, he might have moved through this more gracefully, but seeing those tipped the scales and Astarion is absolutely losing it.
Remember that for the last section, per favore.
7. The Ascension
“Astarion wants to ascend and Tav manipulates him into doing what they want.”
That is basically the essence of what people often claim and I can’t help but shake my head at such a blatant disregard of everything he has become. This is completely ignoring the change and growth he has gone through over the course of their journey.
Astarion wants to be free. He wants to be safe. That does not mean he wants to ascend.
And the claim that Tav manipulates him into doing anything is even more baffling. We are all aware that Tav is not manipulative by nature, yes? That is entirely on you. You decide who your Tav is.
And then let’s remember: Astarion is panicked. He’s afraid and he’s not thinking straight. His abuser is on his knees before him and he still feels so weak. And there’s seven thousand spawns that need handling.
Astarion is very much not okay right now.
In fact, reading his thoughts just proves this theory.
“You can see the fear in his eyes but also the hunger. The thick smell of blood in the air and the promise of power being so close is intoxicating to him. All he can see is the power of the ritual and the freedom that power brings. The freedom to do anything. To be anything.”
Tav, however, has none of those problems. They can actually see beyond the current situation and they are fully aware what the consequences are. Astarion is not. As we previously established, Astarion is a doer. Not a thinker. He didn’t think this through, not at all.
The only thing Tav is doing – the persuasion roll – is reminding him of the very real consequences he is facing. The consequences he hasn’t thought about before.
"I know you think this will set you free, but it won't. This power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador."
And that is the kindest thing Tav could do in this situation. They’re not bodily dragging him away from Cazador. They’re not even telling him to not do it. They’re just offering him the truth. He can do with that information whatever he desires.
“Astarion cries when he doesn’t ascend, that just shows that it was the wrong choice.”
A hare-brained point that I thankfully have only seen once so far.
That crying? That is healthy crying.
That is him, crumbling under the stress that suddenly dissipates. That is him mourning two hundred years of torment. That’s him letting out feelings he hasn’t been able to for centuries.
And, for the love of god, try to put yourself in his shoes.
Two hundred years of torment, ended in but a moment.
Astarion was abused and tortured for so long, afraid for so long only to see his tormentor die just like that.
Cazador died within a moment and all Astarion needed was a darn blade. Of course he fucking cries.
Seeing how pathetic a being the very core of your life’s misery actually is hurts. It hurts like hell because not only are you finally free – free! – no, you’re faced with the fact that this pile of nothing, the thing that’s bleeding out right in front of you…this was what tortured for so long.
This thing hurt you so much. That guy took everything from you, everything you once were, and broke it again and again and again over years.
You were so scared of this thing.
And yet he has the gall and the gumption to die just like that.
It was so easy.
And yet you suffered for so long.
8. Evil Playthrough?
An evil playthrough is really a different setting altogether.
All of this, as you can probably tell, is really only applicable on a good playthrough. Realistically speaking. I’m not sure how the game mechanics handle it.
On an evil path, Astarion never really gets to experience kindness and goodness. Evil Tav will just prove him right in his believe that the world is a vile and cold place, meaning that he realistically would be more inclined to actually want to ascend.
9. Final Conclusion
I think all of this should be enough to make it clear that no, ascended Astarion is not the best ending for the guy. In fact, it is probably the worst. Because it’s just him, running away. He’s running into a lonely and cold state of being, where cruelty and power lord over everything else and he’s running because he’s terrified of being hurt again. He’s running despite desperately wanting to stop running.
“I'll spend the rest of my life running watching the shadows, never feeling safe…no, this has to happen. Here and now.”
And, the worst part is: Nothing about Astarion is left after he ascends. Even his tone of speaking gradually changes, his theatrics fading. He’s slowly losing himself, until there’s nothing but an evil caricature left.
So, in the end, ascension will have proven him right.
That version of him is dead.
#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate#baldurs gate#bg3#astarion#the dark urge#tav#astarion romance#astarion ancunin#astarion and tav#bg3 act 1#bg3 act 2#bg3 act 3#act 3#act 2#act 1#araj oblodra
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Finally Getting Help (prt 6)
Masterpost
The Wayne family gathered in the family room once Alfred was done setting up the projector, somehow there was also a plate of cookies and a couple pots of tea on the coffee table. How he’d found the time they didn’t know, he always seemed to be doing just a little more than should be possible but they didn’t question it.
Jazz seemed nervous as she plugged in her USB and accessed the power point on Ghosts and Liminality. The tidal page had a picture of Danny in his Phantom form standing with a group of others, a boy with gray skin and blond hair, a girl with green hair and skin, and a goth with purple eyes and a dark skinned boy who looked around Danny’s age, and Jazz with the title “Ghosts and Liminals!”
The next slide had simple text: “What are they and How are they made?”
With each slide she read the text on the screen allowed and then added any context or anecdotes she thought of, or had prepared.
(Next slide)
Ghosts:
Made of ectoplasmic energy and obsession
Made either:
when someone dies with strong enough desires
An idea gains enough traction to take on a life of its own
Immutable concepts and gods
Must be allowed to indulge in obsessions or they will cease to exist
All have basic abilities such as flight, intangibility, invisibility, and minor shape shifting
On top of basic abilities most will have additional powers based on their obsessions
Immortal unless killed
Love to fight
Liminals
Made when a human is exposed to high levels of ectoplasm for prolonged periods of time
Have some ghostly traits
Ghostly traits vary person to person
Less susceptible to human illness and injury
“The ghosts on the picture are Kitty and Johnny, we’ve had problems with them but would consider them friends now. They’re the ghosts of two humans who died, but there are others, Vortext for instance is the ghost of Storms. Those ghosts who come from ideas are called ‘neverborns’. There seem to be almost an infinite number of ghosts, however not all of them are interested in having anything to do with us so we tend to get the same faces showing up a lot in Amity.
“I don’t know how many liminals there are. I thought they might be new with my parents' research but as I look into it more I think there are more natural sources of ectoplasm then my parents thought.” Jazz explained before going to transition to the next slide.
“I have a question-” Bruce started before Jazz hushed him.
“Wait till the end please! I might answer it without you having to ask,” She scolded, and he felt very much like a schoolboy again as his children snickered.
(Next slide including a image of the glowing green viles in the Fenton’s lab and a glowing green crystal)
Ghost biology
Ghosts do not have any recognizable organs or bones
The only solid part of their being is their Core which is the source of their ectoplasm
Any injury to a ghosts form not done directly to their core is considered minor and will heal
A healthy ghost is fully capable of mending any damage including removed limbs in a matter of hours or days depending on extent of the injury
All injuries not including the Core are considered minor
Ghosts are considered young for at least the first hundred years of their existence and are often not considered adults until nearly 500
A caveat to this is ghosts are heavily driven by emotion and will often be the age they feel they are allowing ghosts to mature much more quickly, or more slowly
When this is the case ghosts are treated as the age they present and behave
Ghosts reproduce by shaping ectoplasm and Wanting a child badly enough
“Believe me it was incredibly scary the first time I saw Danny in his ghost form have something go right through his stomach. It took him a long time to convince me it wasn’t a big deal and it barely hurt. He does have to make sure he repairs the damage Before turning human again though or the damage can transfer over and I don’t need to tell you a hole in the gut is a lot more serious for humans!
“If I’m honest I only know ghosts that have stayed younger then they really are, for instance Youngblood who’s a few hundred years old and could be well on his way to adulthood if he wanted but has remained a child. I assume it can go the other way though, if a ghost is very mature for their age.”
Ectoplasm
Ectoplasm is the energy that makes up all ghosts and the Ghost Zone itself. All ghosts can feed on the ectoplasm around them as well as produce their own by indulging in obsessions. The ghosts Cores produce the ectoplasm like a brain produces neurochemicals when exposed to the right stimulation.
Ectoplasm is a powerful source of energy but unstable. When it is stabilized into an ecto-crystal it is more stable and can be used as a power source safely by ghosts and liminals.
“Most ectoplasm is green like you see in the pictures. But it isn’t the only colour, some other ghosts produce different colours and it is highly tied to what emotion drives them. When it’s pure it usually smells like petracore but it can get pretty foul.”
(next slide)
What are Obsessions
Every ghost has one or more obsessions
They can be very literal things such as boxes, or ideas and emotions such as Love
In rarer cases they may have dual obsessions
Unlike for humans obsessions are very healthy for ghosts
Ghosts need to indulge their obsessions
Sometimes the way ghosts indulge their obsessions might seem evil, however it is almost always just amoral
Obsessions shape every part of a ghost from their powers to thier physical appearance, to befriend a ghost you Must understand and aid their obsession
In very extreme circumstances a ghosts obsession may shift, sometimes this is healthy, more often it is a result of extreme trauma
“With my interest in psychology this was sort of hard for me to accept. From the outside the way ghosts obsess seems really unhealthy but it’s what gives them life. When not allowed to indulge in their obsessions ghosts will dysregulate and go to extreme lengths to try and get their obsession, if that doesn’t work they either go dormant if their core is still healthy enough or they will melt.
“Ghosts change their obsessions very rarely, I’ve heard of it happening as they heal. For instance once a ghost has gotten revenge for themselves, if that was their obsession, their obsession might shift to avenging other people, or even protecting them so they don’t need to be avenged.”
(Next Slide)
Ghost Culture
The Ghosts have a monarchy
The title of the Ghost King is not hereditary but passed through trial by combat
Under the monarch is a council of being known as Observants, and powerful and old ghosts called Ancients
Ghosts respect strength and value power and cunning in combat a lot
Ghosts bond with each other through combat and play fight with family and friends often
“I have down that the ghosts are a monarchy, and technically that is true but the current Ghost King was a tyrant who was locked away thousands of years ago. I’m sure as soon as someone shows up who’s powerful enough to beat him his court will be happy to pick up where they left off with a better King, or queen, though I don’t think the title has to change based on gender.
“I really can’t stress enough how violent ghosts are! Because nothing short of having their cores shattered can kill them, play fighting for them can look Very Much like a murder attempt to a human. A lot of the issues we’ve had with ghosts have come from them just not understanding quite how fragile humans, and for most of them they feel really bad once they know they actually Hurt someone by shooting them. It’s really best for everyone when they’re kept separate and Ghosts can happily tear each other apart in peace.”
Liminals
The result of long term low level exposure to ectoplasm, sudden high doses are almost always deadly
Liminals Can have almost every trait a ghost can, usually having a combination of a few
Commonalities between liminals include
Minor cosmetic changes such as: glowing eyes, pointed ears, and/or sharp teeth
Increased stamina, strength, and aggression
Increased obsessive behaviour
Liminals sometimes develop powers shaped by the strength and type of obsession
“Most of the people Danny and I know are liminals. I don’t want to talk about them in case they don’t want to be outed so I’ll talk about myself and my parents. We all had prolonged exposure after all. My ears are pointed,” She said brushing her hair back so they could see them, “And Danny is a little more then liminal but even in human form he has fangs.
“My parents didn’t realize it but they could to the point they could subsist on their obsession without needing to eat or sleep as often as a regular human would. About a year ago I started developing the ability to tap into and feel other peoples emotions, I can feed on them a little too but I try not to because the Worst ghost we met did that and I don’t want to be anything like her.”
(Next Slide)
In conclusion
Ghosts are not evil even though sometimes their actions are hard to understand
Never get between ghosts when they’re fighting each other but it’s usually safe to yell at them to remind them not to break anything
Never get between a ghost and their obsession
Don’t drink ectoplasm unless you know you’re already liminal
“I have a feeling the section about liminals will be familiar to a bunch of you. I know Damian is liminal though I don’t know how he was exposed to ectoplasm and some of you,” Her eyes skirted across Tim and Bruce. “Are toeing the line. You’ll probably notice Damian and Danny getting really close, and they might get in some really vicious looking fights. I promise Danny is playing at least.”
The family was left silent for a moment, Bruce knew he was thinking about Jason. Who had died, been exposed to.. What certainly seemed to be something like Lazarus water and come back, obsessive, aggressive, and emotional. He wished he’d had this powerpoint a long time ago. It helped understand Damian too but mostly he was thinking about Jason. He needed to reach out again, maybe meeting Danny would be good for Jason?
“So uhhh, ya, that’s the end of the powerpoint?” Jazz said, shifting from foot to foot in the awkward silence. “Any questions?”
Next
#danny phantom#fanfiction#dc x dp#jasmine fenton#bruce wayne#damian wayne#alfred pennyworth#liminal#tim drake#jason todd#trans!danny#the batfamily#danny is pregnant au#finally getting help au#vlad is a creep#dc stands for disregard cannon
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