#they have their reasons and if they dont wanna be here anymore that's their rightful choice

[adoremattsturns]

Stranger - C.S.

“Are you sure we haven’t met before?”

summary: it has been 4 months since you and chris broke up. you one day bump into each other at a party. sparks fly and things feel… different. was it you or him who changed?

warnings: SMUT, dom!chris, fem!reader, swearing, kissing, p in v, unprotected sex (please dont do this )

(p.s. i’ve never written smut before so please bear with me 😭)

you didn’t care for chris anymore. at least you thought you didn’t. you were having so much fun with your friends this saturday night. your black strapless mini dress riding up every now and then but you didn’t care. all that mattered was you and how much fun you were having.

you walked down the hallway when you saw nick. you guys were still close even after you and chris. but, if nick was here chris had to be here as well which made your stomach churn for some unknown reasons. you gave nick a hug and sprinted to the rest room to message your friend claire.

you: is chris anywhere out there????

claire: he’s in line for the bathroom

shit. you thought before texting her again

you: where in line…?

claire: up next….🧍‍♀️

“are you fucking kidding me” you mumbled, putting your phone away and fixing yourself in the mirror before opening the restroom door.

anytime you and chris were ever at the same function, gathering, or any public event that involved each other you guys acted like strangers. seemed like two people with no history, no connections, nothing. appearing from the mist and disappearing.

chris had no idea you were here until he saw claire staring at him and then typing on your phone. you had to be there somewhere. you both made eye contact when you opened the door. you tried walking away before he stopped you and whispered in your ear. “meet me here in 10 once this line clears up yeah?” you rolled your eyes “like hell i would.” “y’know you wan’ to.” “fuck you christopher.” you said before walking away. you hated him with all of your being. he might’ve ended it since he “cheated” on you but the truth is he kind of missed you. he never cheated but in the heat of the moment he went along with that stupid story. since that’s what you wanted to believe instead of him.

he still hated you as well. not being able to stand your stupid pretty face. he wanted to get at you. so thats what made him say to meet him in the restroom.

10 minutes later

chris: i dont have all day pretty girl hurry tf up

you: i already told you no fuck off

chris: get over here or im dragging your ass to me

you: whatever

you agreed to meet him at the bathroom. you had no idea why you did it but it felt right to accept.

you knocked on the door 5 times, it unlocked and opened 3 seconds later. chris had his black hoodie on which hid his wavy brown hair. he dragged you into the bathroom by the arm and proceeded to gently push you against the door once he closed it.

he eyed you up and down which made your cheeks tint a bright pink. “why- what do you want?” you stumbled feeling scared. “i just wanna get you to realize that i didn’t cheat” he grumbled getting closer to you.

your breath hitched, as his lips grazed your ear “i don’t get why the fuck you believed that stupid idiot. i didn’t cheat and you know it. but since you wanna play coy i can show you i didn’t in a different way” “w-what? no your not doing anything to me” “y’know you wan’ to tho”. you rolled your eyes. you did. he was the only person who knew what you liked and wanted and it wasn’t fun. he gently grabbed the side of your neck and pressed his lips to yours, which you leaned into.

things progressed which lead to you sitting on top of the sink counter. “please chris-” you whined “just tell me what ya want ma, i know you can”. “i need you please-” you whined again.

with that he grabbed you and placed you on your feet, flipping you over by the hips and pulled your ass up, bunching up your dress at your hips. he undid his belt and took of his black jeans and boxers. he pulled down your black lacy panties and proceeded to slap your ass which made you yelp. “i’ve always said you got a nice ass on you ma.” he muttered as he pumped himself with his free hand.

chris rubbed his tip against your folds before slowly pushing in, going in fully to let you bottom out. “mmmpf chris fuck-” you moaned feeling full. “so fuckin’ tight pretty girl”

he began to thrust in and out of you, his eyes stared at you through the mirror “you like this shit huh?” your eyes rolled back but you nodded. “i need words and i need you to look at me sweetheart.”

you moaned and squirmed as chris wraps his arm around your waist and dips his hand down to your clit. “mm, so good f’me fuck-” he praised, leaning down to kiss your neck and shoulders

“c-chris! fuck!-” you moaned, which made him slap your ass. “sweetheart you need to be quiet, this is a party not your house” he growled. he grabbed your hair into a makeshift ponytail, pulling your which made you arch your back, his tip kissing your cervix. “chris i cant ima-” you squealed, clenching around him. “you wanna cum ma? go ahead baby, wanna hear you scream it.” “thank you- chris! fuck oh my go-” you moaned loudly.

“your okay sweetheart i gotcha don’ worry.” he praised as you squeezed him, making him cum as well. stuffing you full.

he pulled out and cleaned himself up. sitting you on the cold marble of the bathroom counter and cleaning you up with wipes that were under the sink…you whined at the cold feeling “shh, i know pretty girl its okay… its all gonna be over in just a little okay?” “mhm..” you muttered, holding onto his shoulders. “you okay?” he asked kissing your cheek. “y-yeah….” you stuttered. “good. well i guess this is goodbye.” “wha-? what do you mean?” “you thought i was staying?? it was your decision to believe someone else before asking me and talking with me. so now im doing that to you. just in… different senses obviously.” he chuckled, before kissing your cheek “bye-bye pretty girl. love ya.” he said before leaving and closing the door to the bathroom.

great. back to strangers.

hiiii! thank you sooo much for all the follows n likes i literally love you guyssss. this is my first time writing smut so i hope it was good. any tips and help would be appreciated than you sooo much i love youuuu! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

[frobby]

i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.

[arolegos]

how the motherfuckers in college feel after giving you info LAST FUCKING MINUTE. DO THEY WANT ME TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF I SWEAR TO GODDDDDDDD

[lookingoutforstarrs]

hazy

hamzah x fem!reader

1.3k words

cw: handjob, virgin!hamzah, weed, angst if you squint

a/n- this is rushed and so bad but enjoy!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

you had come over to hamzah’s place a couple hours ago to smoke and watch megamind, which was a weekly routine for the two of you. you’d known him for 3 years, and you consider him one of your best friends. but there was a small problem; he was in love with you. the worst part is that you loved him too, but you were to scared to act on it.

…

mandy had come to you about 4 months ago with a secret she couldnt keep.

“i dont even know if i can say this,” she mumbled, her head resting in her palms.

“whatever it is it can’t be that bad,” you replied, giggling.

“y/n trust me, it’s bad,” she said, facing you with a serious expression.

“im ready for whatever it is,” you say, confidently.

“okay…so i overheard martin and hamzah the other night,” she started.

“what were they talking about?” you ask.

“uhh….you.”

your face flushed. what could they be saying that was bad about you? you started going through your head to try and remember any signs of them not liking you, but struggled. you had known them for 3 years now, surely they wouldnt be your friends if they didnt like you, right?

“did i do something? do they not wanna hang out anymore?” you ask, trying not to let the burn in your throat expose how badly you dont want it to be true.

“uh quite the opposite actually. hamzah was talking about you, like nonstop. martin got annoyed from only talking about you and asked what was wrong with hamzah. and hamzah was all like ‘i think im in love with her dude’ and then i ran away from the door because i got scared,” she replies, giggling.

your heart really sank then. face instantly going red.

“oh,” is all you could get out.

“see i knew you’d be upset, but what do you think?” mandy pushed, slightly suspicious of your crush.

“oh! uh i dunno, wouldn’t that end our friendship?”

“only if you dont like him back, which you definitely do. you know him better than martin, just go for it.”

“i dont want to loose what we have now.” you reason, still in deep thought.

“why are you afraid of loosing one good thing when you know it could turn into something greater? just go for it.” she reassured.

“i’ll see what i can do”

…

so here you were, stoned out of your mind, watching megamind defeat titan with hamzah’s usual commentary.

“he could’ve tried a little harder,” he says, annoyed with how weak megamind was acting.

you weren’t focused on the movie though, your eyes steady on hamzah. he noticed, growing nervous but not pointing it out. he couldn’t bare it anymore, you cant just look at him like that.

“dude are you okay?” he asks with a smirk on his face, slightly laughing.

“oh yeah sorry,” you avert your gaze and sit up straighter, which hamzah didn’t appreciate. you came over in sweatpants and a hoodie, but his a/c was broken so you were now only in your sweatpants and a tight black tanktop that perfectly displayed your boobs. you catch him looking at your chest for a second, only to blush and look away.

you don’t know if it’s the weed or how touch starved you are, but you decide to be bold.

“hamzah, have you ever kissed anyone?” you ask, blushing but keeping a straight face face.

he looks at you, red eyes wide and cheeks flushed. he felt his palms get sweaty and his pants get tighter.

“uhm…wow i uh no..i havent.” he coughed out, looking away. “it’s kinda embarrassing.”

“it’s not embarrassing.” you say, tilting your head and looking him in the eye. you try not to smirk at his nervous expression.

“do you umm, want me to teach you?” you ask, sounding too innocent for what you want to do to him.

“yes please.” he whimpers out, dick twitching in his pants.

you move closer, feeling the warmth radiating from him. you look him in the eye and he stares back with a pleading stare. you slowly move to hold his face in your hands, and he feels like he’s gonna pass out. you kiss him gently.

hes never felt anything like it. the intimacy if it makes his head spin. he moves his head with the rhythm your soft lips made, deepening the kiss. you move your hands to his neck and he groans.

you guide his lips in the right direction, slowly prying his mouth open for you to explore. he gasps at the sensation, whining a little.

he still has his arms at his sides, awkwardly playing with the hem of his hoodie. you break the kiss and he pouts, only for you to pick up his hands and put them on your sides.

“you can touch me hamzah.” you breathe out, focused on kissing him again. he’s rock hard.

he slowly moves his hands to explore the expanse of your back. tugging at the skin on your waist. you move your kisses down his cheek and onto his jaw, peppering small kisses there. he’s lightheaded. all he can hear is the sound of your kissing and his heartbeat pounding.

you make your way to his neck, licking and kissing the short right under his ear. he whimpers. not like a quiet whine, more like a borderline moan. your panties grow wetter.

you move your hands down his clothed torso, leaving a trail of goosebumps. he’s panting in your ear and it takes everything in you not to fuck him right now.

“can i touch you?” you whisper.

he moans this time, loud “please..ah..please.” he begs, head falling back. you giggle, embarrassing him but only making him harder.

you rub his thighs, inching close to where he needs you. you slowly start to fidget with the waistband of his shorts, sliding a hand in. you lightly trace the outline of his dick through his underwear, and he curses. he almost came from that alone. you rub him a little harder, letting him thrust into your palm.

he huffs and pants so sweetly, you could spend hours teasing him. you opt not too, not trying to be unfair. you move your hand directly onto his dick now, making him let out a loud whimper.

you run your thumb across his tip, collecting the pearl of precum causing a damp spot on his boxer. he hisses.

you start to stroke him, agonizingly slow.

“fuuuuuuckkkkkk.” is all is can manage to say, face flushed and panting.

you hum in response, kissing his neck. he’s huffing and panting like he’s running a marathon. you swipe your thumb over his tip again and hear him whine, a tear coming down his cheek. you kiss it away and he looks you in the eye, all fucked out and full of adoration.

“if you keep going..ah..im gonna cum.” he whimpers out.

“it’s okay, i want you to.” you say against his neck, bruising him with your kisses.

that was his last straw, cumming with a whine and bucking into your fist, making a mess all over his boxers.

you stroke him through it until he starts to wince and twitch, then you let go.

“lets get you cleaned up.” you say standing and reaching a hand out. “you did so good for me.” you whisper, kissing his. cheek.

he has no idea what the fuck just happened. the beautiful girl who he had a crush on for years just made him cum in his pants, and held him the whole way through. he got up though, legs slightly shaking.

you led him to the bathroom to clean him up, then spend the night <3

[3rachaslut]

I would love to request gentle+ comfort sex with Chris where reader is upset and chris proceeds to love the sadness away?

bonus points if it includes daddy but you dont have too if you're not comfortable

are you KIDDING?! i have the biggest daddy kink ever hxvekwn hi twin! 🤍 also i feel like chan is such an amazing lover, like the way he would be so loving to you during sex omg it makes me cry :’(

also, take a shot each time you read the world beautiful xox

chan x female reader

contents: kinda angst but mainly smut. reader is going through some shit. pet names, daddy kink, fingering, domxsub kinda.

MINORS DNI !!!

you couldn’t really remember how long you had been feeling so drained, sat resting on the headboard of yours and chris’ bed, wiping away the endless tears that just kept pouring out of you. work was a lot right now and your self esteem was at an all time low. you usually tried to keep a handle on your emotions as best you could so you didn’t lose your head, but tonight, every thought spinning around your head left you feeling as if you were drowning. you were suddenly snapped out of your thoughts by chris calling your name, accompanied by a knock of the bedroom door. rapidly wiping the tears from your eyes, you try your best to throw a smile his way but there was no fooling him. as soon as he saw your red, puffy eyes and shaking hands, his heart sank.

“oh angel, what’s the matter” he gasps, quickly running to sit next to you on the bed. at his words, you couldn’t help but let out a staggered breath you didn’t realise you were holding. resting your tired head upon his shoulder, he wrapped his hand to cup your head against him, rubbing calming circles that eased the tension in your head slightly. “hey it’s okay, what’s happened?”

“chris.. i can’t do this.” you whine, ambiguity coating your sentence as you cling your arms around him.

“do what love? talk to me.” he pleas softly. you turn your head to look into his eyes and he plants a kiss on your forehead. “talk to me baby, i’m here for you. always.”

“it’s just everything. work is so stressful right now and no matter how well i do at a particular job, they always find some reason that im not good enough. i’m so busy with work that i haven’t had time to see my friends and family and you’re working so much more recently with your new comeback that i’m hardly seeing you and… i’m just… tired. i feel like no matter what i do, nothing is getting better. i feel like im stuck in limbo and i can’t see a way out of it.” you blurt out all at once, continuing on and on and all the while, chris is listening attentively to your words that are crushing him inside. his beautiful angel shouldn’t be feeling this way. he wanted to take all your pain away.

“anyway, i don’t really wanna dwell on it anymore. you’re back home and i haven’t really spent any time with you for ages” you tilt your head to look into his worried eyes and he smiles at you as best as he can. he is worried about you but he didn’t want to keep you talking about it if you didn’t want to as well. you would rant to him when you wanted to at another time if that’s what you needed. right now he knew that you needed a distraction. taking your cheek into his hand, he plants a kiss on your swollen lips in which you deepen. you’ve needed this for so long. you let out a relived sigh at his lips against yours once he pulls away and he rests his forehead against yours.

“my beautiful, beautiful girl” he whispers, causing goosebumps to form along the nape of your neck. you let out an unsure hum at his words. “you are, baby girl. absolutely stunning”

“i just.. don’t really feel like it right now. i mean, look at me. my hair is a mess and my eyes and face are all puffy-” chan interrupts by gripping your cheeks into his hands, making you look into his eyes. those gorgeous eyes you get lost in every time.

“baby.. you’re the most perfect, amazing, beautiful, sexiest girl i have ever seen” he says, tilting your chin back up to look at him, after looking down from shying away at his words of admiration. “look at me” and you do. your worries one by one beginning to float away just by looking at the man in front of you. your man in front of you.

“let me show you how beautiful you are baby girl. please. let me love your sadness away angel” he whispers out, slowly leaning over you and laying you down underneath him. you nod with a smile on your face. how could you ever refuse? he trails two fingers along the entirety of your upper half, starting at your left temple and all the way down to your waistband. your eyes flutter shut at the slightest touch that set fire to your skin. after years, he still had such an affect on you even with minimal touch. he hooks his finger around the hem of your pj shorts and pulls them down around your knees which you assist in discarding. continuing down your thigh, towards your knee and back again, shivers of anticipation took over you.

“i wish you could see how beautiful you look y/n. even more beautiful underneath me..” he teases as his delicate traces get closer and closer to your impatient pussy. you grind your hips upwards in response, now desperate for him to touch you and hum in aggravation when he moved his hand all together. he leans in toward your face and your breath hitches in your throat.

“baby..” chan hums warningly, raising an eyebrow at your gesture. “please…” you mewl out, your pussy throbbing at his dominant tone. “please what babe?”

“please… daddy” you utter and he instantly slides his fingers to rub your clit, your body jolting at the sudden touch. you let out a loud moan, your head tilts back and your eyes begin to roll back in bliss.

“good girl” he praises as he begins to suck marks against your now exposed neck. you begin to shake under him at the stimulation and he slowly trails his fingers towards your entrance. a staggered breath leaves your throat.

“look at me y/n. what do you say?”

“please daddy” you gasp out as he slowly inserts just the tip of his fingers into your wet cunt.

“please what?” he torments. “hmm?”

“please finger me daddy” you beg as he looks into your desperate eyes. you nearly scream out your last word as he shoves the entirety of his two fingers inside you, curling his fingers in just the right spot causing your legs to shake uncontrollably. moans were leaving your mouth relentlessly which only encouraged chris to go faster and faster. the sounds of your wet pussy filled the room and you couldn’t help but cover your face in embarrassment.

“don’t you dare hide that beautiful face from me y/n. fuck- love hearing the sounds your wet cunt makes for me doll” chan says, his voice slightly raised which only added to the arousal you were feeling. “fuck baby you’re so sexy”

“chri- daddy! i’m gonna come!” you nearly scream out as you feel the knot in your stomach threatening to come undone. your head is thrashing against the pillow and your hands desperately cling to the duvet under you. chan worked his fingers faster inside of you and your mouth gapes open. you look up to see his face only inches away from yours.

“then come baby girl” he whispers down you ear and you do. hard. your body contorts so much from your orgasm anyone else would think you needed an exorcism. screams and curses where flying from your mouth as you threw your head back towards the headboard.

“fuck- chri- daddy FUCK daddy ahh” you cry as you ride out your orgasm, attempting to catch your breath as you come down. chan plants kisses on your sweaty forehead and down towards the tip of your nose.

“don’t ever believe you are not the most beautiful woman in the world. at least in my eyes darling”

[livelaughlovesubs]

WHATSS UPPP🔥🔥🔥🔥 Anyways :3 can I pretty please request an Akutagawa x reader and Akutagawas reaction to reader/us handcuffing him?? (Also if your uncomfortable with that I totally understand if you dont wanna write for it! I need more subby akutagawa in my life🤤)

Of course you can~ here is your order sweetie!

Dom!reader x sub!akutagawa

Warning: handcuffs, bondage, teasing, otherwise pretty sfw?

‘What a frail boy,’ you thought while sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard, arms crossed as you hide something under a pillow. His physic was no surprise to you anymore, though how comes every time you saw him he gets thinner? Yet he still wants to be of service to you. How can you make him work without feeling pity for his poor body? A sigh left your mouth, your eyes glanced over the soft pillow which served as your hiding spot. That’s why you prepared this, to make sure he’ll leave it all to you.

Then your eyes turned again, moving to look at the male standing next to the bed again. His pitch black coat was now placed over a chair, revealing his white dress-shirt. It stood out so much, since the rest of his outfit was dark as well. “Come here, aku.” You commanded, still sitting in the same position as before. He obliged your order without any hesitation, nor did he make a single sound. Slowly climbing onto the mattress as he hovered above you, legs on either side of your figure.

It might have seemed bold at first glance, but he didn’t even dare to sit down onto your lap, only kneeling on top of you while wearing a softer version of his usual expression. His pupils were also raven black, skin as pale as porcelain and cheeks tainted slightly rosy. You stared at him off a second, before reaching out for his collar. Gently, you pulled at his jabot, loosening it up and throwing it onto the floor. Afterwards, you started unbuttoning his shirt. One button after another, without rushing anything. He didn’t say anything the entire time, staying as still as he could for you. Even though he tried so hard to appear unaffected, his breathing hitched and his nervous gaze exposed everything.

“How cute.” You chuckled as you said that, hands working on the last button. He scoffed at the compliment, face twisting into a pout. What can you say, you are never wrong. Right when you were going to pull his shirt off him, he took care of it already, letting the fabric drop onto the floor. Then Akutagawa began working on his trousers, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrists, sighing, “This won’t do, pretty boy. Leave it all to me.”

Before he got the chance to respond to it, he felt something hard and cold pressing against his wrist. Then a clink sound reached his ears, followed by another one. He looked down, eyes widening as the realisation. “What is this…?” Aku asked you, eyes searching for your guidance and explanation. “My, you out of everyone doesn’t know what these are?” You teased, fingers playing with the chain connecting the two metal holes. His reaction is cute, to think the mad dog of the mafia is so innocent. The confused look on his face was adorable as well, actually you liked everything about him.

“I know, handcuffs, but why are you… using them?” Akutagawa kept questioning you, he looked at you like you were crazy. “Sweetie, what is the purpose of cuffs?” You teased him, yanking on that chain a little to make him lean forward. His face was now inches away from yours, and his blush darkened a few shades. “To restrain someone, to prevent them from doing something.” Despite the fact that his heart was fluttering, and his voice trembling, he still managed to answer you. It was a good response, just as you expected from him. “Right, now guess why I might be using these.”

“But there is no reason for you to restrain me.” The boy said, a drop of sweat rolled down his forehead. Now he was looking at you all flustered and blushy. “Then be my prisoner for tonight. Your crime is~ seducing me. Your sentence? Forbidden from doing anything.” You whispered against his neck, raising the hand that was still holding onto the chain high into the air, causing him to raise his arms above his head as well. “What do you say, Ryuunosuke?” At this point he was already a mess, glaring at you like a feisty cat. When he met your playful gaze, a shiver ran down his spine, and he eventually said, “…I- I got it, officer.”

[cottoncandyswisherz]

anonymous

bsf!triplets x depressed!reader

warnings: describes imposter syndrome, and poor mental health. this is so sad and i'm sorry. if you are not comfortable or stable enough to read this, then please dont because it might make it worse.

-

im laying in my bed when i hear the knock on my front door. i don't wanna get up. i just wanna lay here until my skin has fused with the mattress, so i ignore the knocking until it turns to pounding and makes the ache in my head even worse. 

i try to get up but i get dizzy so i plant my feet on the cold tile and sit at the edge of my bed for a moment. when i think i'm good i trudge to the door, and when i open it i see nick, matt and chris on my doorstop. chris has his phone to his ear but his arm falls when he see's me. 

chris's pov

holy shit. 

"i was just calling you to let you know that it was us at the door. " i told her. she only nods he head and walks back into her house, leaving the door open to let us know we can come in. 

my brothers and i all look at each other before we step inside. we know what each other are thinking.

she's not okay.

usually when we come back to boston, she's at our house when we get there. but we've been here three days and we hadn't seen her. when we called her, her phone goes straight to voicemail, our texts don't deliver and when we came yesterday she didn't answer the door. 

she's all of our friend but she's always been closer to me than matt or nick. she says because it's because i reciprocate her chaotic energy.

when we enter the living room, everything is in order. her kitchen is clean, and her bedroom door is closed. 

she still hasn't said anything. she won't even look at us. she just sits on the couch and picks at her nails. 

i look at nick in a way that says, what the fuck do we do? his look back says i have no fucking clue and we both nudge matt, who's eyes haven't left her since she opened the door. he looks at us and i can't tell what he's thinking. 

"we've been calling you since we got home." he says, walking over to the couch and sitting on the side opposite to her. "no answer. our messages didn't go through either."

she just blinks and says "my phone must be dead." he voice is scratchy and it sounds so weak that i just wanna hug her. 

"for three days?" nick asks, sitting on the floor in front of her in the living room. she just nodded. 

i make my way to her other couch and sit down. "and we came yesterday, but you didn't answer the door."

reader's pov

three days? 

the thing about depression is, it kinda collapses time. i don't even know what day it is right now. i feel like shit knowing they've been trying to reach me, but i can't find the energy to speak long enough to apologize.

"sorry." is what i come with. 

matts pov

chris, being the person he is states the obvious. "you don't look so good right now... like i don't recognize you right now."

my heart breaks when i see her head fall and a tear fall into her lap. "i don't recognize myself either, chris." when she speaks its a whisper. but the silence is so loud that we all hear it. 

then she wipes her face and lifts her head only to look at her reflection in the flatscreen that's powered off. 

"what's going on?" nick asks. 

she chuckles at that, but her eyes never leave her reflection. "i wish i could explain it. "

i decide that maybe i should say something, instead of just staring at her. "try."

she's silent for a moment. "you know how sometimes-" she swallows. "you know how sometimes you just look in the mirror and you don't know who you are anymore?" more tears slide down her face. "and you don't know how you got to the point you're at. and then that reality sets in that you've felt so.... so empty and anonymous for a while." her eyebrows furrow as she keep staring at herself. "but you didn't realize you were feeling it because you were so caught up in making sure everyone else was good because they have it worse than you and you really have no reason to feel that way. they became the priority." she sucks in a breath and wipes her face, even though new tear replace the old ones instantly. "but then you're looking in this mirror. and you see yourself. but it's not you. that it looks like you, but it's not you. it cant be. because this person in the mirror looks like everything is okay, but it's not okay. and so you try to make it okay... but you don't think it can ever really be okay anymore because you don't remember what okay feels like." 

and now she's silent. her face is blank and she won't stop looking at the tv. 

chris and nick keep looking at me like i know what to do right now. 

i don't.

but i do what i want someone to do if it was me in this situation. i get up and walk to her side of the couch and wrap my arms around her and that's when she breaks. 

her sobs vibrate through my chest and i hold her tighter. "i don't know who i am anymore, matt."

nicks pov

what. the. fuck. is going on?

i'm sitting here looking at my friend, who's face was stuck in a permanent smile yet i don't even remember what her smile looks like. 

i can't even begin to think about her smiling because her face is contorted in a way that shows how much pain she's in.

i can see how tired she is, because her dark circles are almost black. i can tell she hasn't showered because her hair is matted and i can see that she hasn't been eating because her face is so pale. 

she's been withering away in this house, while i've been making jokes for a camera. 

all i can do to show how sorry i feel is crawl from my spot on the floor and lay my head in her lap. "i wish it was different, babe." 

"so do i." she mutters.

readers pov

they must think i'm crazy. because matt never hugs people that aren't his brothers or parents, and nick has never called me babe. and i know chris thinks i'm fucked because he's just sitting on my couch staring at the floor while i'm drowning in both his brothers arms. 

we all stay like this for a while. nick and matt holding me while i just pathetically weep and chris in utter silence. 

until he's not silent. "why didn't you call me?" he almost sounds hurt. 

i know what i want to say.that i didn't call anyone. that i'm embarrassed. that i'm the person everyone goes to with their problems so how can i can go to them that i feel hollow when nothing is happening in my life for me to feel that way. 

but again, i don't have it in me to talk. so i just shrug. 

and he get's up from and walks over to me, pulling me away from nick and matt and making me stand up. 

his grip on my biceps is tight as he speaks. "you should have called me..." and he hugs me so tight that the little air i have left in my lungs is knocked out of me. 

and now we're just crying. me into his chest, him into my shoulder. at some point, nick and matt get up and join us and we all just hold each other until we've telepathically said everything that needs to be said. 

niyah speaks🤍 last sad one for now lollll

taglist: @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @jnkvivi @sturnsslut @koilaniazul @thisisntmattsturniolo @nyktoxs-lover @l0akkzz @zainabthescientist @chaossturns

[bebebelll]

does anyone know her dad? | dn3 x reader (part 3)

paring: daniel ricciardo x toto's daughter!reader, daniel ricciardo x wolff & shcumacher!reader warning: nothing (google translated german because i studied that language for 2 years and dont know a single word anymore) notes: part 1, part 2 and part 4 are recommended reading

ynquads god i love what the us grand prixs do to this man. there's something in the air and the cowboy hats are hot. i truly feel really blessed to have met you, to spend my life with you, to have been by your side and to have had you by mine. i just really love you ❤️❤️❤️

liked by danielricciardo, susie_wolff and 1 184 537 others

username haha jumping off a building now bye

danielricciardo you really love me ❤️

ynquads i really really love you danielricciardo really really really? ynquads really really really really danielricciardo wanna sneak out and go makeout? ynquads YEAH alex_albon no please dont we're on the same plane the restroom is small the walls are thin

maxverstappen1 gross

username sobbing screaming throwing up (fuck i am jealous)

danielricciardo i am so obsessed with you baby

ynquads i fucking adore you

f1wagsupdate as we all know that the figure skater and danny ric's girlfriend yn shcumacher is the child of toto wolff and michael shcumacher's sister, we decided to go on a deep dive. these are really the only photos we could find from facebook. we could only find this one photo of katarina shcumacher and not a single one her and toto together. but isn't toto just adorable with baby yn? and enjoy baby yn and max verstappen looking super cool!

liked by 46 956

username MAX VERSTAPPEN

username how is mick not using that last photo every year on their birthdays like i would print a pic like that of my siblings and put them up around school hallways and on the fridge

ynquads do not worry, auntie sophie and vic show that photo around every christmas

username ooh its too bad theres no photos of them together

username same bro i cant stop imagining some summer love ynquads they met a bar in berlin and got so fucking drunk that its a miracle they didn't get alcohol poisoning. i am so truly so really serious when i say that i'd be surprised if they even exchanged names before i was already cooking in my mom's stomach username what the fuck you saying ynquads i've seen an old homevideo about the morning after. i talk about it in therapy every week

username i love how yn is just lurking around every post about her and her parents

yt video: YN SHCUMACHER ATTENDS COTA - BRUNDLE GRIDWALK

comments:

username love the passive aggressive attitude to every camera she saw

username truly a lovely experience. yn kissed daniel before the race. she kissed max's cheek when he won and said something scandalous in german/dutch based on everyone's faces. i also saw a video of her laughing on the ground when lewis dsq was announced

username WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY SAYING IS THAT GERMAN

username yn: they are filming you, dad. you are very popular. toto: dont give them too much attention. you had a long flight. you just go and take a nap before the race. brundle and toto talk yn: well see how intact our relationship is after the race username intact 😂😂 lord that really is torger's kid

danielricciardo this woman is the single reason ive survived some darker times. she's so beautiful, lovely and sweet. elegant on and off the ice ❤️❤️the day i do not gush and drool about her is the day i'm dead. so in love

liked by ynquads and 2 487 577 others

username why am i crying

username cant come to the phone right now busy driving through concrete walls and off a cliff

ynquads i am THE luckiest girl ❤️❤️❤️

danielricciardo if youre lucky then ive been blessed by god ynquads dont you dare i win this danielricciardo youre not the one who was just on their knees i win ynquads come here and ill wrestle you danielricciardo only if you kiss the booboos better after

username am i the only one getting real suspicious about these "i love you much" post that they've been putting out for the entire month??? like what you doing all this for

username EXACTLY username they've been together for like four or five years too sooooo you know what people do around that timestamp 🤭🤭🤭

username just what the hell is that comment about being on their knees daniel

ynquads instagram story

danielricciardo funny thing about vegas

liked by ynquads, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 3 483 573 others

username BITCH WHAT

susie_wolff if you got married in a las vegas chappel, you are grounded till your 80th birthday yn - toto wolff

ynquads i didn't actually expect to love being engage this much

danielricciardo whats got you excited about this then? ynquads the fact that im gonna get to marry YOU maxverstappen1 stop being gross maxverstappen1 i already suffered through watching the proposal

username love this i want to snort this i want to inject this into my blood but did you get engaged and then eat junkfood while watching princess diaries 2

ynquads don't tell anyone 🤫 danielricciardo really dont tell anyone that amount of junkfood was not in the diet plan

@topguncultleader @eternalharry

[spiderlandry]

Secrets Kept — Ethan Landry

in which you have a secret, and it’s not what ethan thinks.

Pairing: Ethan Landry x Spider-Woman!Reader (she/her pronouns used)

Warnings: minor gunshot wound, kind of escalates quickly?, mention of reader having no family (other than aunt may), slight angst, fluff, no ghostface (previous movies can still be canon i think), somewhat dialogue-heavy, mentions of Across the Spider-Verse events

Word Count: ~9k

Author’s Note: hey everyone, i do wanna apologize for promising to come back and then just. not. so im sorry for that! i have had some health/life troubles recently and long story short i won’t be releasing anymore fics after this. (i am not dying, dont worry, my energy just isnt the same). i also realized i just do not feel as passionate about writing as i used to. thank you for sticking with me, and i will keep all my fics up. for unfinished series i’ve written, anyone is free to write continuations if you wish. thank u so much again for making me feel so welcome here!!! feel free to talk to me in my inbox as i’ll be checking in periodically. and if there’s any interest, i’m willing to post unedited wips.

i guess i've come full circle because this fic was the reason i created this blog. it was unfinished so i never did post it, but i finally got some energy to do it! so enjoy (hopefully)

-

New York had been your home for a long time. All your life, actually. But sometimes, the rowdy, noisy city was suffocating.

However, swinging through the city, air resisting against your skin as you picked up speed—lifted the weight off your shoulders.

You changed in a secluded alley on the outskirts of the busyness in the big apple, not risking any neighbours seeing you go into the window of your apartment. The subway was crowded as it is all hours of the day, though you didn’t mind too much.

Closing the door behind you, you dropped your bag on the couch and looked for your roommate. “Quinn?” Your voice travelled throughout the place, bringing your roommate to her feet and outside her room.

“Hey, d’you just get back?” She smiled, leaning against the end of the hallway. “How was patrol?”

You sighed, opening the zipper of your backpack to pull out the bagel you got for her. “Yeah, it was alright. Nothing exciting.” you threw it to her, and she almost dropped it. “Got you a bagel. Thanks for covering for me.”

She scoffed in mock offence, “What did I say about throwing things? I don’t have your spider sensor, or whatever. But this is appreciated.” She took a bite, and you laughed at her remark about the spider-sense.

“Noted, sorry again.” You returned her grin. You knew she loved being in on the secret. She took joy in knowing the real identity of the masked vigilante, often covering for you around your friends when you had to leave very suddenly during movie nights and hangouts. But above all, she was a concerned friend. Always. Patched you up when you came home late at night, warned you when you were about to make a bad decision, told you to be careful before you left.

You often told yourself not to get too close. Making connections as a vigilante wasn’t ideal. Anybody who knew your identity was in danger at all times, and it didn’t help that you had a huge crush on her brother. You never uttered a word to her, but you could sense her observing you when you hung out with the friend group—not in a spidey-sense way, though, you could just feel it, even without the supernatural sense.

“Anything interesting happen while I was gone?” You asked, flopping down on the couch and turning on the tv, avoiding the news channels.

“Ethan missed you. It was kinda gross, actually. Wouldn’t stop asking where you were.” She grabbed a drink from the kitchen, disappearing from view.

You furrowed your brows, “You know I never believe you whenever you say anything about Ethan, right? Especially concerning me.”

“Not my problem, spidey. I never lie.”

“I could give you ten examples,” you chuckled.

“I never lie to you. Obviously I lie to everybody else.” She came back from the kitchen with a look.

“Is it because I’m special?”

“Obviously.”

You weren’t the nervous type. Maybe it was after you were bitten by the spider, you never really knew, but one of the main reasons Ethan may not have realized you have any semblance of feelings for him was because you acted normal around him like you did everybody else. Your schedules were different, so you rarely hung out with him for school reasons, meaning the only times he spent time with you was during group hangouts.

Including now. At his and Chad’s tiny off campus apartment.

He watched you play chess with Anika, Chad watching from the sidelines during a blitz game. Speed chess. He knew how to play chess. Maybe he should play with you, a thought grazed his mind.

As if his sister could read him, she appeared beside him and nudged him closer to the scene. “You should play.”

He looked at her with shock, “No, I’ll lose. I don’t wanna embarrass myself.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Since when has that stopped you? You never back down from a chess match, remember?” He did remember, years ago when his father taught him after Richie left for college. “It’s because you like her, isn’t it?”

He huffed. To try and prove her wrong, he went over to the coffee table and watched as you lost to Anika—maybe he has a chance.

It was his turn, now. He replaced Anika on the seat facing you, rearranging the chess pieces. “Pretty boy wants to play!” Chad exclaimed.

“Chad.” Ethan said in an almost warning tone. “What did I say about the nickname?”

You reset the chess clock. He looked at you—you were smirking—which was a mistake, because he didn’t realize you started his clock.

“Shit,” he moved a piece, fumbling. You grinned at him, and he realized he’ll do anything to see it again.

You didn’t lose your confidence, moving chess pieces to counteract his own moves.

During the middle game was when it dawned on him he was fucked.

It became clear to him you likely knew how to psych him out—just by smiling at him.

Little did he know, you smiled at him because his thinking face was adorable. But on his side, you were smiling every time he glanced at you. He had no other choice but to believe you were doing it to make him blunder, because he couldn’t make you usually smile like that, could he?

Quinn watched her brother fumble around you. Her plan worked. At least for tonight.

You ended up winning the game with ten seconds left on your clock and three on his.

You high-fived Chad, much to Ethan’s dismay, but you offered a handshake to his direction which he gladly accepted to feel your warm palm in his. Worth it.

He was mustering up to ask for a rematch when your phone buzzed on the counter, which Quinn reached to get before anyone could in case it was something spider related. And thank god she did, because it was. She gave you a nod, reading the notification about something happening downtown. You cringed internally, knowing the burden of covering for you would fall on your friend’s shoulders again. She packed your things and handed you the backpack, whispering ‘be safe’ as you take it from her, so nobody else would hear.

With a closing of the door behind you, a conversation in the room began, thanks to a suspecting Mindy.

“Why does she leave sometimes?” The woman looked to the strawberry blonde for an answer, suspecting that she knew more than she let on. “She never tells us.” They all settled on the couch as Chad flicked through streaming services for a movie and Ethan cleaned up the chessboard. He didn’t wanna seem to interested, but he was definitely actively listening for Quinn’s answer.

“Her aunt calls her sometimes to run some errands,” Quinn prayed they wouldn’t pry. She saw this coming because you’d been dealing with more calls recently and patrolling more often. There really was no other excuse for the spontaneous leaving. It was easier to cover if you were already not there—you’d be studying, grocery shopping, napping, or literally anything else.

“Aunt May?” Ethan piped up. You mentioned her once, saying you needed to get eggs for her.

“Yeah, Aunt May.”

“She never talks about her family.” Said Anika.

Quinn didn’t want to say anything else. “She’s just private, I think.”

“You know more about her than us, though.”

“Because I’m her roommate.”

Mindy’s eyes squint toward her. Tilting her head, she pursed her lips. “I think you’re lying.”

“Why would I be?”

“She’s left before, at like, one AM. Why would her aunt call her at that time?”

Quinn shrugged, feeling a little bit of panic setting in. “Who knows?”

“Is she hiding something?”

“No.” The word was so quick and curt, and that was when she knew she fucked up.

“You’re definitely lying.”

Everyone else, watching the interaction turning from teasing to tense, Sam stepped in. “Guys,” she interrupted. “If Y/N wants to tell us something, she would. I’m sure she has her reasons.”

Mindy had been suspicious for a long time. Not out of malice, she liked to think she had a naturally curious personality. She’d kept an eye on you every time you left, half because she wanted to know, but also because she was worried. Had you not been friends for long enough that you couldn’t tell them why you left or was sometimes missing?

Ethan thought similar.

It got weirder when he saw a glimpse of your name on Quinn’s phone, a call from you that she answered. She went to the kitchen to answer it. Mindy saw it too.

Ethan wasn’t proud of it, but he followed, to stay right behind the threshold of the kitchen and the cold tiled floor, listening to the conversation.

The audio from your end was inaudible, but Quinn’s responses were: “Yeah?” … “How bad is it?” … “No, I’ll be there.” … “Who cares if they get suspicious? You’re more important.”

He heard the call end and rushed back to his seat, to Quinn’s obliviousness. She grabbed her things.

“I’m tired, guys.” She announced to the group, Tara pausing the movie. “I’m gonna go home.”

“Oh,” Sam replied. “Well, be careful. Do you have your pepper spray?”

“Yes, Sam.” Quinn almost rolled her eyes at Sam’s protectiveness, but she knew it was out of real worry.

After his sister left, Ethan began the conversation this time. “I think Mindy’s right.”

Everyone turned to him.

“Quinn was talking to Y/N.”

Tara sat up. “You followed her to eavesdrop?”

Ethan shrugged, feeling scolded.

“Not cool, dude.”

“What did she say?” Sam asked curiously, now hooked. If Ethan mentioned it, it must have been important.

“Like…” A pause, “Q asked ‘how bad is it?’ then said she’ll be there. And then, like, who cares if they get suspicious.”

“They’re definitely hiding something,” Mindy stated. “But why?”

“My sister never hides anything from me. She always overshares, and I always hated it. But now she’s not. It’s probably not…good.”

“Are we sure we should talk about this?” Anika piped up next to Mindy. “Maybe it’s a problem with their apartment—a leak, or something.”

“But…” Chad spoke, “what about the suspicious part? And why would Quinn lie?”

At the same time, at your and Quinn’s apartment, you bled out on a towel placed on the couch from a gash across your stomach. You winced as your friend applied the bandage.

“Didn’t I tell you to be safe? What happened? You had a good streak going there for a while.”

“Quinn, please.”

“Also, not to alarm you, but they’re getting really suspicious. Mindy asked why you leave all the time.”

“Shit, she’s never asked that.” Your head fell against the end of the couch in defeat. “Maybe I should start distancing myself.”

Quinn’s head snapped up. “You’re not serious.”

“Dead serious.”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Say what?” You looked at her.

“It’s a really bad idea.”

“I’m trying to keep people safe. Keep you safe. Keep everyone else in the group safe.”

“What about Ethan?”

“Including him.”

“No—“ She scoffs, “I mean, you’d…break his heart.”

You had to stop yourself from laughing. “Quinn,”

“I’m serious.” And she actually was. She might have thought her brother was a nerdy asshole. But he was her brother. “And everyone would wonder where you are. You can’t avoid them forever.”

Sitting atop a random apartment building Monday morning, your sight helped you catch a glimpse of Ethan walking amongst a crowd of New Yorkers, bumping into people with a hand on the backpack strap on his shoulder. It had been a week since you talked to Quinn about possibly leaving the group.

After that, you stopped answering messages from them, much to her dismay. She still saw you at the apartment, looking at you with silent eyes hoping you’d realize your mistake and come around again. She knew you would.

Having everybody’s schedules memorized helped you avoid them—but Anika having the same major as you was your downfall. You skipped a class yesterday, and she texted the groupchat asking where you were.

Maybe it was creepy, but keeping an eye on your friends calmed you down. You wanted to be the one to make sure they were safe without having them try to do the same thing—this was why you never wanted to get close.

Unbeknownst to you, the group had a bet going.

Mindy thought you and Quinn were dating. Ethan thought something was up in your family life, maybe Aunt May was sick. Chad thought you were in a secret fight club (secretly worried). Anika was on board with Mindy’s theory. Sam refused to answer, and Tara was also silent.

Quinn came to your room that night. “Everybody’s worried about you.”

You looked at her with begging eyes. “I know, Quinn.” You sighed in defeat. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Either you tell them or not. Your choice. But you can’t avoid it forever. Everyone’s been giving you space, but they’re still thinking you’ll come around.”

You stared at her, them looked away, at anything else.

“One more thing—“ she said before she left, “don’t patrol tonight.”

“Why not?”

“I’m gonna be over at Isaac’s place. If you get hurt, I won’t be there. He thinks I’m cheating on him whenever I bail.”

You would never ask her to give up a part of her life for you, she knew you would agree. But she also knew you would never miss patrol.

“Fine, I won’t.”

She left knowing you would.

You should have listened. God, you should have listened.

Your wound from a few days ago had already healed thanks to your abilities, but another power you had was how many times you got injured in a short amount of time. Especially in the same spot. This time it was a real stab wound on your side, not just a gash a centimetre deep.

You couldn’t let yourself bleed out on the alley to be found dead and your friends to find out your identity through a news announcement that Spider-Woman was dead. You were about to swing back to your apartment—

Shit.

You didn’t have your civilian clothes. The window on the fire escape was locked. Your door was locked. Nobody was home. Idiot!

One choice. You forced your feelings down, hoping this was for the best.

Ethan and Chad’s were the closest.

With your heart pounding in your ears, holding it together and covering your wound, you knocked on the glass.

Chad came out of the hallway to furious sounding knocking on the window, thinking maybe a madman managed to climb up the fire escape and was trying to break in.

He certainly wasn’t expecting the masked vigilante of New York City to be the one on the other side of the glass. And she looked to be bleeding.

You were thankful it was Chad who answered and not Ethan. He coincidentally had Econ tonight, so that was actually a plus.

Chad opened the window. “Holy shit!”

“Look—“ You were breathing rapidly, unable to keep it together. “I’m sorry about this—“ You tried to change your voice hoping your friend wouldn’t recognize it.

“I’m gonna carry you now, okay?” He put an arm behind your back and another under your knees, trying to avoid touching the wound. “What the fuck?” You heard him whisper as he set you down on the couch.

He rushed to the bathroom for the med kit. “You’re lucky I have this,” He set it down on the floor, rummaging through it. “I play college football, I mainly have it for sprains. I never used the suture kit, but hey, first time for everything, right?” He rambled. Just as Chad does when he was nervous, also evident in the tremble of his voice.

“I heal pretty quickly, I just need stitches to stop it from bleeding.”

“Thank God. I don’t know how to operate on organs. What if you have internal bleeding?”

“Won’t matter. I’ll heal. I’d never let you touch my organs.” You joked.

“Glad to know Spider-Woman’s funny.”

You were careful not to call him by name on instinct. “What should I call you?”

“Your saviour.” He got the tools ready, “Kidding. I’m Chad.”

“‘Kay, Chad. Need me to walk you through it?”

“Yes—yes, that would be good, actually. You have medical experience?”

“If you call getting injured experience, yes.”

“This is gonna be a long night.”

Tara did not believe her boyfriend.

She was at his apartment, sitting on his bed, and he was pacing and rambling about Spider-Woman coming to this very place last night and asked the vigilante to save her. She stared at him crazy.

“Babe, you have to believe me!” He jumped up excitedly, he couldn’t keep it in.

“You didn’t get any proof?”

“She was bleeding! I stitched her up! Not really a great time to ask for an autograph or a picture.”

She smiled at him endearingly. “I wanna believe you, so, so bad.”

He came closer to her, “Please do.”

“She just happened to come here when Ethan was away?”

“Yes.”

She laughed, falling back on the bed.

“Please, babe!”

With good timing, a knock on the door took them away from the moment.

Tara went to get it, Chad on her tail.

And surprise.

It was Spider-Woman at the door.

You never intended on showing up, but the guilt consumed you and your feet brought you to a bakery and you’d purchased a dozen cupcakes before you knew it. You wanted to leave them at his door, but not trusting his neighbours, you decided to hand them over.

He wasn’t alone. You should have expected Tara. It was afternoon, and Ethan had a class early morning (why he picked it that early, you’ll never get.)

Tara’s eyes widened at the sight, immediately turning back to her boyfriend stopping him in his tracks. “Is this a prank?” She pointed a finger up at him.

Him not knowing who’s at the door, “What? Who’s at the door?” He walked past her and was equally shocked.

You lowered your voice again. “Uh,” you cleared your throat, “thanks for saving me last night.” You handed over the box of cupcakes.

“Are you joking?” Tara went to lift your mask, but you backed away. “Who are you?”

“Not a prank, promise!” You exclaimed. “This is…actually…me. Just wanted to say thanks. If not for him, I would have bled out.”

“Prove it.”

“Prove what?”

“You’re her.”

At that, you shot a web to the ceiling.

“Shit,”

“I wasn’t lying, babe.” You heard Chad whisper to her. And directed at you, “Glad I could help, spider. Come back anytime!” Tara playfully slapped him on the shoulder as you walked away.

“I’ll keep that in mind!”

You still hadn’t told Quinn about what happened last night. That was because you hadn’t seen her anywhere. She must have slept in at her boyfriend(?)’s place.

As you got home, your phone buzzed.

Bruno Mars Security Team

Chad

everyone !!!!!!!! please come over tonight !!!!!!! i have to tell you all something !!!!!!! im spiderwomans best friend now

Tara

well…

Sam

???

Quinn

Oh god

Ethan

What lol

Then, a personal message notification from Quinn.

Quinn

Wtf happened while I was gone you have to tell me

You

I HAD NO CHOICE

Quinn

Please actually come over to Chad’s. We all miss you even tho its only a few days like we’re all worried

You

i will

Chad had never been happier to see you. “You’re here! And you’re early!” He opened his arms for a hug, which you took. “I missed you!” You’d always been a little sister to him, despite being a few months apart, it mattered to him.

“Sorry I’ve been MIA,” You sighed, pulling away. “Just—dealing with stuff,” you cleared your throat.

Just then, Tara appeared and ran into your arms. You squeezed her tight, knowing she gave the best kinds of hugs. Her arms wrapped around your neck, head resting against your shoulder, fitting like a puzzle piece. “Talk to us anytime, okay?”

You nodded, ending the hug and closing the door behind you.

“What’s this about Spider-Woman?” You inquired, grabbing a drink from the fridge.

“I have to wait until everyone gets here, you guys are gonna freak! And Tara is here to back me up.”

“Is that all I’m here for?” Tara teased.

“No, honey, you know it’s also because we’re using your Netflix login.”

You laughed at their antics as she flicked him on the forehead lightly.

Ethan happened to catch you right at that moment as he came out of the bathroom.

He was silent, but shot you a smile nonetheless, which you mirrored. He really did not know what to say. A feeling bubbled up inside him and he knew he wanted to talk to you alone.

You took your place at the very end of the couch, checking something on your phone as you waited for the others to get here. Unbeknownst to you, though, Ethan was looking at you trying to decide whether it was the right time to talk. Chad and Tara were whispering to themselves, betting on if he would actually say anything.

After a few seconds, your senses told you somebody was staring. Not in a dangerous way, or even remotely alarming, but you could still feel it. So you turned your head upward and saw the curly haired boy a standing awkwardly a few feet from you.

“What’re you doing?” You smirked, though not really in a smug way. It was more amusement than anything.

“Uh—nothing, I just—“ He wandered closer, sitting a few centimetres away from you. “I—we, the group, want you to know that we’re always here if you need anything. You can talk to us, alright? You don’t—just don’t deal with it alone.” He shrugged, “That’s it.”

Your face softened at his confession. Only if you could tell them without compromising their safety. “Thanks. I’ll…keep you posted.”

Ethan didn’t know what to do now that the conversation was seemingly over.

He was about to stand up until the door swung open, Quinn coming in along with Mindy and Anika who were carrying a few boxes of pizza.

“We’re here! And we brought food!” Mindy’s voice echoed throughout the apartment.

You were going to greet them but Anika beat you to it, seeing you on the couch and running over to hug you.

Mindy did the same, relieved to see you okay.

Quinn had a knowing smile on her face.

After the room settled down, Chad began to finally tell the story.

Needless to say, nobody believed him.

By the end of the night, long past midnight, you were getting ready to leave when Ethan asked you something.

“Are you going with Quinn?”

Mindy and Anika were waiting at the door, they both got a ride from your roommate since Mindy’s car broke down a few days ago.

“No, uhm—I think I’m gonna walk home. It’s only a few blocks.”

Quinn, upon hearing you, chimed in. “Really? You sure you don’t want to?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” You shared a look with her that only the two of you knew. You turned to Ethan, “Why?”

“Can I walk you?”

You were surprised, to say the least. “Really?”

“So you’re safe.”

Preparing to protest, you felt Quinn’s hand on your arm. “Let him.”

So you did.

The walk home was brisk. The streets were empty, the street lamps illuminating your synchronized steps with Ethan.

With him, silence was never awkward. It was just…quiet.

It was no secret that you were perceptive, especially to your friends. Quinn knew why, but the others thought it was just you, not something caused by the spider bite. Your senses were especially heightened around Ethan.

You would never mention it, but you knew his heartbeat sped up when he got close to you. You only caught it a few times on accident trying to listen for something else, but you’d never actually do it on purpose.

Lately it seemed he was spending more time with you since the night you came back (which was three weeks ago at this point). One, he would message you on Discord asking if you wanted to do a study call—you never failed to say yes (making Ethan giddy). Two, he began to ask you things about your life during those calls when you would both take a break from studying. Like he wanted to know more about you.

Three, you began to spend time together outside the group.

Quinn was excited for you the first time you told her that you were going to see Ethan and only him. Of course, you told her not to read into it, but when has she ever listened?

Things were going fairly well. Especially with New York as a whole, nothing too major had happened (no supervillains, thank god), only a few robberies and cats stuck in a tree.

You were sitting atop a building when a tingling sensation in the back of your neck alerted you to something. Then, as you honed your hearing, you heard glass breaking a block away.

Swinging never got old.

As you reached your destination, a small bodega being robbed, you spotted him. Ethan.

Your heart began to pound in your ears, watching from the outside as the robber trained the gun on his hostages inside the bodega, one of them being Ethan.

It was like muscle memory. Go in, threaten the robber, and if it escalated, you fought him.

“I’m going to get rid of you, Spider-Woman!” The man in the mask hissed at you, his pistol trained right at your heart. This part didn’t scare you anymore, but Ethan being here—did. “If you come any closer…” He stepped away, instead pointing the gun at some old lady, who looked scared shitless. “I’ll shoot her!” He noticed you weren’t fazed at threats against you, so he targeted the next best thing: civilians.

“Easy, there, cowboy. Why don’t you point that gun at me? I thought you wanted to get rid of me.” You tilted your head, gauging the severity of the situation.

In your peripheral vision, Ethan stepped in front of the lady, trying to usher her to the side.

God, he was an idiot—but you’d be lying if you said that didn’t warm your heart.

The robber didn’t notice because he was still staring at you, watching for any sudden movements you’d make.

It happened in three seconds.

One, you shot the web to the gun, trying to pull it back to you.

Two, the gun went off—a slip of his finger caused by your web. Before you saw who it hit, the man came at you.

Three, you took him down, knocking him out.

It was the next second that you decided your life wouldn’t be the same.

You heard a hiss, a gasp from onlookers, and you took away the magazine of the gun before your head snapped up to where the hiss came from.

Ethan.

Red was the first thing you saw. It was on that yellow cardigan he wore when it was chilly—You rushed to his side, seeing the red come from his arm. He was backed up, leaning against the wall.

He was wide-eyed, face scrunched up in pain. “Shit,” He put pressure on his wound. “It hurt less than I thought it would.”

If only he could see how the tears lined your eyes under the mask.

“We need—“ You tried to keep your voice steady— “We need to get you to a hospital.”

“I’m fine,” He hissed again as you pressed harder on his arm. “It’s just a graze.” He saw your concern.

“No—It could’ve—it could’ve hit something vital—“ Despite your knowledge that it likely didn’t, your head was spinning and rational thought weren’t exactly on the table.

The sirens reached your ears before anyone else’s.

You took a deep breath. Your head cleared.

“The ambulance is gonna get here soon, uh—“ You cleared your throat. “Don’t move, okay?” You nodded to him, and left.

Okay, you didn’t actually leave. You stayed on a rooftop across the street, a few buildings over, seeing that he was okay as he got checked out by the paramedics.

That was when you actually left. For good this time.

The timing was almost perfect—the next day, an old friend came to see you.

You weren’t expecting anybody, hanging out in an abandoned building you found in the outskirts of Brooklyn when you were a teenager.

But a black hole opened up right next to you. Maybe not a black hole, but the closest thing to it.

That was when you saw Miguel O’Hara.

Quinn had no idea that, when she woke up that morning, it would be the week she spilled your secret to the friend group.

This is how it went down.

Last evening, she told you to be careful before you left for patrol. You never came back in the morning. She didn’t see any evidence of you being there, like your shoes haphazardly thrown across the floor near the front door, or your backpack on the couch. This had happened once before and she found out you were at your Aunt May’s house—so she just sent you a text and went on with her day.

It was also the day Ethan called her and told her that he was shot. Then he texted the groupchat about what happened and they all (including Quinn) rushed over to his and Chad’s apartment to see in person that he was actually okay. A bit of a freaky situation that Ethan was caught up in that, but everyone calmed down eventually. But when Ethan told the story, Quinn hoped your disappearance had nothing to do with his getting hurt. She also noticed that he was bummed about you not being there.

It was the second day she got worried. No sign of you. Nothing on the news about Spider-Woman, either.

Bruno Mars Security Team GC

Quinn

Anybody heard from Y/N?

Chad

aren’t you her roommate

Quinn

Hasn’t been home since Saturday.

Ethan

She hasnt answered any of my texts

Chad

okay now i’m worried

tara? mindy? anika? sam?

Mindy

nope. anika says no too

Sam

Not me or Tara. I’ll try calling her

She didn’t answer

Ethan

Quinn do u know where she’d go? maybe to a family member?

Quinn

I dont know her aunt mays address

Chad

let’s wait a day to see if she turns up. if not then we’ll get together to brainstorm

You weren’t there the next day, so everyone gathered at yours and Quinn’s apartment to see what could’ve happened to you.

They all stood around the kitchen island.

“Has everybody called her?” Chad said, arms crossed. “Texting her and everything?”

Everyone nodded.

“Quinn,” Tara began. “Have you checked her room?”

She looked down, almost ashamed. “I did, actually. Nothing.”

“Do you think we should…check again? Maybe we’ll find something.”

“I’m good at snooping, if you need.” Anika added.

Quinn’s eyes slightly widened, “No!” Calming down, “I mean—no. She doesn’t like other people going through her stuff. I can because I’m her roommate—not you guys.” At times of stress, this was the best she could come up with.

“Okay…” Mindy’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “How about an address to Aunt May’s place? Do you think we could find that somewhere?”

The realization dawned upon her—no way of getting to you. “No. But she would’ve told me if she was going there.”

“Look, Quinn.” Mindy sighed, “Can you just—be honest with us?”

The ginger nodded.

“What was the last thing she said to you?”

“I—she was going out to buy something.”

Ethan’s nostrils flared—he knew when his sister was lying. Why was she so adamant to hide your whereabouts, even if it meant you were in danger? He sighed.

“I’ve—“ Everyone’s heads snapped to Ethan at his interruption. “I’ve had enough of it, Quinn. What the fuck are you two hiding? Seriously.”

Safe to say there was nobody in that kitchen who wasn’t surprised at his sudden outburst. He didn’t care, though.

“You always fucking lie, Quinn. I can tell. Why don’t you think I can tell? She goes missing, and you’re still keeping a secret!”

Chad put a hand on his shoulder, “Dude.”

The boy took a deep breath, reminding himself where he was. “Sorry. For shouting, I mean. But you can’t just—ask us to look for her when we all know damn well that you know something we don’t.”

At that moment, she had two choices. She thought for a long moment before she couldn’t find a rational explanation as to why she shouldn’t tell them that you’re Spider-Woman—you could be dead by now.

She walked away, hearing Mindy say “Are you fucking serious?” right behind her.

They didn’t have to wait for long, because Quinn came back from your room with something in her hand. They examined the object as she threw it onto the counter.

It was a mask—Spider-Woman’s mask.

“Holy shit,” Sam was the first to say.

“Wanna know the secret?” Quinn crossed her arms. “There’s your fucking secret.” She directed it at Ethan, whose mouth was slightly open.

She took a deep breath, a similar trait to her brothers to calm herself down. “The night she left, she told me she was going on patrol. When she didn’t come back the next morning I thought she was fine. Now it’s the third day, nothing from her. Look—I might’ve—like, fucked up. I don’t know.”

“How?” Asked Mindy.

“I should’ve told you sooner.”

It was clear to them that Quinn must have had this weight on her shoulders for so long.

“I have…so many questions.” Said Chad. “So when…Spider-Woman came to my apartment, that was Y/N?” He grabbed the mask, analyzing it with his hands.

“Why do you think she came to yours? She knows you have that stupid med bag with the unused suture kit.”

“Is that why she always left?”

“Mhm.” She nodded. “I thought—things were getting better. She was getting close to us again, stopped patrolling some nights because of my brother’s stupid discord calls.”

Ethan was breathless. “What?”

“Look—point is: she didn’t want to put anybody in danger. If I didn’t find out by accident, she never would have told me. She just…cares about you guys too much. She thinks if you know she’s Spider-Woman, you’d be in danger.”

When Ethan came face to face with Spider-Woman in the bodega, it was you. That was your concern, practically radiating off of you in waves. He knew you seemed familiar, somehow. But everybody knew Spider-Woman. He knew you differently. You saved his life.

Everybody was taken aback by the news. But Sam, ever the leader, began. “She’s been protecting us this whole time. All of us. It’s time we have to do the same for her.”

“How?”

“We find her. In any way possible, even if it means we have to track down her entire family, go back to her high school friends, anything we can think of, okay?”

There was no doubt in anyone else’s mind that they were all on board with the plan.

“Let’s do it.”

ONE WEEK LATER

It was the first night in a week that Ethan got proper sleep. The exhaustion finally caught up to his body after countless sleepless nights spent poring over clues on how to find you. He’d been making progress on the Oscorp lead when the last thing he remembered was slumping over at his desk.

Which was why it was weird when he opened his eyes, he saw the ceiling. He was laying down in the comfort of his own bed. Maybe he actually went to bed and didn’t realize it. The sunlight peeking through the curtains was probably a sign to get up, get back on the investigation.

That was until he sat up and saw a figure at his desk, standing over some of the files he sorted.

It took him a second to see it was you. Was he dreaming?

“You’re finally up.” He heard the voice come from you, and saw your mouth move, and as he processed your sweet voice and the teasing lilt to it, he almost fell off his bed jumping out to rush over to you.

He almost knocked you over as his (surprisingly) muscular arms wrapped around you in a quick second, you returning the hug with a smile he could feel on his neck. He was almost speechless. Almost.

Slightly pulling away, he got a good look at you, unharmed, grinning at him with the power of a million suns. He kept his arms around your waist, keeping you close as if he was afraid you’d disappear once more. Nonetheless, he mirrored your expression as he felt your breath on his face and your arms looping around his neck, running your hands through his soft curls.

“You’re…here. You’re actually here.”

Your soft hand came to rest against his chest, feeling his heartbeat along with hearing it.

“I’m sorry I left.”

The boy shook his head, “What matters is you came back. You always did.”

“I always will, Ethan.”

YESTERDAY

It was early morning and the feeling of defeat was strong in the room. Everyone was there at your and Quinn’s apartment all with one goal: to find you. They’d started this search almost a week ago with a determination in their eyes akin to a fight for survival, mainly because it kind of was. But as the days went on and the meetings at the house got longer to discuss other possibilities surrounding the circumstances of your disappearance, the metre to measure the disappointment was getting higher.

They all sat at the couch, flipping through the news channels, all talking about how Spider-Woman hasn’t been seen in over a week. It was an alarming wake up call for the city, because crime rates had gone up significantly without the friendly neighbourhood spider watching over the residents of the city that never sleeps.

The news anchors all echoed a similar message. Where is Spider-Woman? Many have theorized that this may be the end of an era—

Sam clicked the red button on the remote, the screen turning to black. “We can’t give up.”

“I didn’t wanna have to, but—“ Tara sighed, “We said if we can’t come up with anything, we’d get the police involved.”

Chad slumped right next to her. “What are we supposed to tell them? Hey, our friend’s been missing for a week and we’re just now reporting it. And FYI, she’s the vigilante who does your job for you.”

“Not like that.”

“But we can’t tell them she’s her, right? If they find her, she’d be arrested.”

“If they find her alive, that is.” Mindy added grimly, looking at the ground.

“Dude, come on.” Her brother tapped her arm.

“I’m just saying.”

“Quinn, Ethan.” Tara refocused the conversation, “Your guys’ dad is a cop, right?”

They looked at each other before nodding.

“Can you talk to him? You don’t have to tell him anything just—find out if anything happened lately, okay? Anything new.”

Anika added, “We’re not even on the week mark. It’s tomorrow. How about we focus on our leads today, then meet again tomorrow. If there’s really nothing, we’ll go to the police, okay?”

“That sounds good.” Ethan agreed.

“Alright,” Sam exhaled. “Dismissed.”

Everyone was sleepless that night. There was the obvious tell of the bags under everyone’s eyes growing bigger, not to mention the slouching and the less than ideal attention span they had lately.

Quinn’s eyes were wide open in the dark of room, wondering and hoping you weren’t dead in some back alley somewhere.

A sound in the living room broke her out of a dazed stupor. It wasn’t too loud, but not subtle, either.

On edge, her hand shot to grab the bat right next to her bed, a gift you’d given her for self defense purposes. She was careful not to make any sound, clearly unlike this moron who was breaking into her house on the middle of the night with heavy steps.

The fridge was open, the door hiding the figure of the person behind it.

She was ready to swing—

You. The figure closed the fridge door and it was you in your suit.

Maybe it was the lack of food that caused you not to notice her presence immediately, but you heard the clacks of the wooden bat hitting the floors before you clocked your roommate fully embracing you in a bear hug.

“Quinn!” You chuckled, returning the embrace. “Missed you too.”

She pulled away abruptly after a second, a stern look on her face but a layer of worry in her eyes. “Where the hell have you been?” She grabbed your shoulders and pushed back a little, looking over your entire body, checking for injuries—but you were clean. Not even a scratch. “Shit, you’re okay.”

“I—“

She hugged you again.

That was when you realized why she reacted like this. “How long have I been gone?”

She looked at you like you were crazy. “You’ve been gone a whole week.”

“Shit. I didn’t leave a note, did I?”

The guilt on your face was apparent, but it was nothing compared to the stress everyone had gone through while you were away.

“You didn’t. All of us have been looking for you—“ Something dawned on her. “I…had to tell them.”

You didn’t react the way she expected. She expected you’d be upset—angry, even, but not this. Not you being the one to hug her this time, taking a deep breath.

During the embrace, you spoke, your voice vibrating on her shoulder as your head rested against it.

“It was so stressful, out there. I have so many things to say. But I’m so tired—I wanna explain everything later.” You sighed, “How’s Ethan?”

“He’s okay. I’ll drive you to his place tomorrow, okay?”

Mindy, Chad, Tara, Anika, and Sam all woke up in their respective apartments to a text message in the group chat.

Quinn

Can we all meet at Chad’s place today? In a few minutes. Urgent!!!

After the conversation yesterday, they all expected the worst. Maybe Quinn had gotten information from her cop dad that Spider-Woman was found dead—they were all thiniing it. Ethan, however, having been up until late, was still sound asleep, phone on silent mode.

They met at the front door of the apartment building (of course, except for Chad, who was in his bedroom staring at the text in worry), Sam looking among the group to reassure them. “Guys,” She sighed. “Maybe if’s not bad news.”

Mindy turned to her. “Really?” She sounded exhausted, almost ready to give up.

“If Quinn had really bad news, she would’ve called us. Probably, right?” Tara backed her sister up.

“Let’s just…go in. She’s probably not even here yet.”

Just then, the sound of a car approaching quickly caught their attention—Quinn’s car.

Tara was at the end of the group, giving her the advantage of seeing first who was in the passenger seat of the car, getting out.

“Y/N!” She yelled.

The rest of them turned, almost running to the middle of the street as you closed the car door, leaving Quinn to find parking. You ran to the sidewalk, running into Tara’s arms.

You could feel the warmth radiating from the group as they welcomed you back with open arms, feeling guilty that you must have made them worry for them to react like this. Knowing some of their history with the murders in Woodsboro, it must’ve been terrifying for them to think they could’ve lost another friend.

It wasn’t long until you felt the missing piece, a hole amongst them that resembled a shape in your heart: Ethan.

“Where’s Ethan?” You tried not to show panic, but it was likely obvious due to Anika immediately reassuring you.

“He’s okay! He’s fine—he’s just sleeping.”

You sighed, relief taking over. “He doesn’t usually sleep in this late.”

“He was up late last night, he said he got a good lead on you. He…” She contemplated for a moment, not wanting to worry you. “He took it pretty hard when you dropped off.”

Tara almost slapped her arm. “Yeah,” she looked to you, watching carefully for any signs of panic. “He was worried. Probably more than any of us. But you can wake him up.”

“Do you…Can you tell us what happened? Where were you?” Mindy was reluctant to ask in case it was difficult for you.

But you were happy to tell them—you figured you owed them that much after having them think you were dead for a week. “I’ll tell you inside, come on.”

Pizza and drinks were being passed around, everyone was here, and you chose to sit right beside Ethan. He couldn’t stop looking at you. You could feel it.

As you animatedly told the story of meeting other people who also had spider powers, had similar stories, Ethan then began to wonder what would be next. Would you stay? What if you wanted to go back there, be with people who really, truly understand you?

By the end of the night, the group was preparing for the sleepover. But you could tell something was troubling Ethan. You studied him from the couch while the crew was gathering pillows, and he caught your eye and said, “Wanna go to the rooftop?”

You tilted your head on instinct, confused.

“You know…good air.” He shrugged.

“Sure.”

The walk up was silent. Maybe more than silent, if that were even possible.

As he opened the door to the rooftop, you made eye contact for half a second. And in that half second, Ethan decided he won’t lose you. In that half second, you looked away, then looked up again—and he gently grabbed your wrist, pulling you close enough that you felt his breath on mingling with yours, so close that you thought he was going to kiss you. But he began to speak.

“Can I—”

And you kissed him.

It was a small one, but when you tilted your head to lean in closer and tangled your hands behind his neck—Christ.

You pulled away abruptly and he wondered if he had done something wrong. At the same time he said “Holy shit,” you asked, “Wait, that’s what you were going to ask, right?”

Once his brain recovered, he finally nodded, “Yeah. You beat me to it.”

After a pause, he began again. “Does this mean you won’t leave?”

“Leave? Who said that?”

“Well, I just thought—”

“You’re an idiot, Ethan Landry. Come here.”

Additional Author’s Note: I apologize that Ethan and Reader do not have as many moments in this. Thank you for understanding. Again, if there’s enough interest, here’s a list of fic titles I’d be able to post wips of (keep in mind these are unfinished, you’re allowed to write continuations but my one wish before leaving this site is that my work is not fed into any kind of AI and that includes character ai):

blackout (2k)

dialogue (2k ish)

the dress (900)

rain (1k)

story beats for murder party part 2 (3.2k, jot notes)

reflections (2k)

the bear au (500 ish)

thief (800)

like a fool, im thinking of you (500)

avatar:

hard to love (2k, lo’ak)

sorry for any mistakes i didnt catch during editing !

[kairiscorner]

hihiii pookie :DD!!

tw// mentions of depression

i'm wondering if you could maybe write a comfort fic about miles 42 with a reader who hates asking for help even when theyre clearly suffering in silence because they were taught to just 'suck it up' and deal with it alone as a kid?

you dont have to write this if you dont feel comfortable with it <33

Thank you pooks :33!!

hi pooks @jrrantss <:DD oh man, okay so i was kind of that kid back then too (though i was a big crybaby) it's like the adults around me didn't fully comprehend why i was feeling the way i was, so in response to that, they basically condemned crying at home or in front of them. i'm sorry if you went through something similar or, hopefully not, something worse ;-; i hope this provides you some comfort, and in a way, might also let you know you aren't the only one going through stuff like this. i'm here for you pookie, all the time <:)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

you can be honest with me. – miles 42 x reader (angst + comfort)

nothing went your way this week, hell, you couldn't even remember a week in your life when anything felt right, when you didn't feel that you were holding yourself back from letting go of everything that felt wrong, awful, and just... painful. you were too good at keeping secrets, too good at lying about how you really felt; and that was something you hated about yourself, how you found lying as your first nature, not your second. you lied to people when they'd ask you if you were doing okay, if your day was going alright–you always gave them the answers they want to hear, that you were fine, that nothing was wrong.

but when everything just comes crumbling down, and the cracks in your facade begin to show and become more obvious... you get more and more defensive, more and more angry, more and more... scared and worried about these feelings that are hurling themselves at you so quickly that you can't even begin to understand why they're affecting you so badly–why people can see the bare you now if you just turn your face to look at them or open your mouth to speak; and your boyfriend was the first person to see you this way, vulnerable, yet trying all you can to avoid that vulnerability while you're crumbling down.

"hey," miles calls out to you in a soft voice as he sees your back turned to him as you kept working on your assignments, hunched over at your desk with your brows furrowed together and your lips curved into a scowl. you had been avoiding him for a few days now–at least he thinks you might be avoiding him–and have acted very distant, very... out of it recently. you didn't turn your head around to face him, which prompted him to continue talking, hopefully so you could find a reason to face him and his worried eyes. "you've, um... you've been busy lately." "uh-huh." you hummed as you tapped the end of your pencil against your desk impatiently, racking your brain for the answer to the questions written down that all seemed to blur together as the shittiness of the previous days just irritated you even more, and the worst part was... you couldn't hide the fact you can't mask ot anymore.

miles' face contorted as he got more and more worried about you, not knowing why you were acting starkly different than the usual you, or the only you he was familiar with. he extended his hand out to you as he walked over, looking at your cluttered up papers on your desk and the smudged up marks on the paper from your erasures. "...is something wr–" "everything's fine, i'm fine, i'm just peachy!" "you don't sound very convincing." he said, his voice returning to his nonchalant, cool tone as he took a small glimpse at your face before you turned away from his field of vision.

he sat in the chair next to you and wrapped his arm around you in an effort to comfort you. "cielo, sonething's up with you. are you... are you sure you don't wanna let me help?" he asked you with a soft voice, hoping he didn't overstep any boundaries as you slowly turned your head to show him a bit of your face. there were tears in your eyes, though you didn't dare let miles see them fall down your face; there was a sob stuck in your throat, but you didn't dare let miles hear it escape your lips. you had been there before, being severely troubled for more things than just homework–but never had you been advised to do anything than the age old phrases you've heard all your life as a kid: 'get over it.'

you took in a deep breath and tried to tell him what those words you've exhausted yourself from saying all the damn time–that you don't need any help, that you've got this, that you're okay... but your body's betraying you right now. it's betraying you for turning your back on your own feelings, but that... was never your fault, never. as you let out the breath you've been holding in, the hot tears came streaking down the ends of your eyes, your scowl morphing into a sad frown as you felt yourself slowly come undone and all the raging thoughts in your mind boiled down into one thought right then and there: 'fuck no, i am far from okay'.

you had one tear come down, then two, then... a whole waterfall of tears came pouring down your eyes as you finally released that sob you had been desperately keeping in. you had released it out into the air as it mingled with miles' shushing and gentle whispers as he held you while you leaned against him, wailing as you tried telling him how nothing had been right lately. you choked out in broken cries how you desperately wanted a way out of everything horrible that's been happening but you didn't want anyone else to be bothered by your 'stupid, insignificant problems'.

"i just... want to be okay... but i can't even pretend to be okay for at least one damn day." "please, stop pretending, mi vida. it's hurting me how you... how you think it's strength to rake up everything by yourself... when you clearly need help." miles said with a cracked voice as he felt himself choke up at your melancholic state. you cried even more out of guilt that you saddened miles, but he kissed your forehead, cheek–your whole face as he murmured words of reassurance, of love, to you to calm you down and comfort you. "you're not alone, not anymore... i don't care if some idiots in your life want you to deal with alone, never to bother them–you're never a bother to me, got that?" he mutters to you as he holds you close, letting you sob into his shoulder, your sobs getting louder and louder all the while. he shushes you and rubs your back gently, kissing your wet cheeks as he keeps reminding you that no matter what you're going through, what problems you're having, he's always going to be there for you–be the help you'll need, one way or another.

"please, don't be scared, mi vida... you can be honest with me. i promised to love you with all my heart, protect you, and... always be the help you'll need."

he whispered to you as he looked into your eyes and gently wiped your tears away and leaned his forehead against yours, hoping you would be more lenient, more understanding towards yourself and your own needs; and that you wouldn't hesitate to ask him for help. because even if you don't ask him to, he'll be there to help you, be there to guide you, be there to comfort you the best he can. because he loves you, and knows you deserve more than what you think you deserve, that you deserve... the best of the best, and nothing less.

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @fiannee @popeheywardssecretgf @lovefrominaya @onginlove @meowmoraless @q2ie @zalayni @anikaluv @conitagray

[reasaph]

"I don't believe in God, but I believe that your my savior."

Soshiro Hoshina x Suicidal Fem Reader!

Summary: (name) a person with no beliefs, no reason and will to live gets hospitalized after another attempt. There, she meets hoshina soshiro and she's been looking forward to waking another morning since.

TW:mention of death, reader got hospitalized for attempting, mention of bedrotting.

Title is from the song "sailor song" by Gigi Perez!

Part 2!

You and Soshiro talked for hours, the cans of the coffee he's got you both long forgotten and moist. To say they were the most comfortable hours of your life wouldn't be an exaggeration. Your sure hes got you hooked. Humbly, you ask anyone; be it fate or any god. You wish, you beg, you 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺 to whoever in charge to extend the hours with him. One minute more to bask in his presence, thats it. You've never desired something so much that you decided to pray. That was something you never thought you'd do. You didnt dwell your whole personality on just a mere belief. But he's got you on your knees, hands claspped with eyes screwed shut, asking for another more minute.

"So so, what d'ya do you think the doctors here do on their free time?" A silly and deranged question. From the short time you'd spend with him, not even a day Long, you had keeped count of those incoherent questions of his. You dont know if he was doing it On purpose, but those questions are the ones That sat you here on this bench fo hours.

"well, This is a tiring job. So they'd probably want as much rest, right?"

"Probably, Your right. I like to think they gossip about patients."

"Thats completely unprofessional."

He laughs. You laugh to, and you dont evem realize it. The vibrating echo of Your laughter didnt sound forced this time, it didn't need to be ripped and snatched out of your throat. It was sincere, you could say it would only be with him. This is new, clutching your stomach in futile attempt to control the laughs that keep escaping, incredibly new. You dont even know what your laughing at anymore, you just are. Hoshina had stopped making noise the moment you did. It was his first time hearing someone laugh like that, so raw and free. He could tell your unfamiliar with the sound of your own happiness, it wasnt rocket science. He feels like he'd just unveiled an artifact, so precious even when kept and hidden for centuries. It would mean the world to him if he could keep making you laugh like this. He didn't say anything, he'd be so guilty if he interupped you at your highest.

But all good things must come to an end. You know that the most. Your familliar with the bitterness that comes after everything worth hanging on to. It all seemed to short, even now. The moment Hoshina checked the time, you knew what was coming next, you could smell it a mile away. Yet you still hopped you were wrong, you dont want this conversation to end just yet. You dont want to face everything head on again. That face he made told everything, it screamed 'i have to go' and it wrathed over your chest. You dont want him to go, you dont want to leave the comfortable atmosphere with him. And above all, you dont wanna feel like an empty walking corpse once more. Hoshina turned to face you, a mourning look adorned his features. That was a new expression of his you've witnessed, you've only seen him giddy and silly until now. Now, he looks upset. You know your time with him is over for today.

"Hey, (name), really sorry but I hafta go now. That smug of a doc said I have prescriptions to take." Thats odd, why is he apologizing? Could he perhaps feel the same agony as you? You believe its impossible, but not because you think he doesn't care. Because he cant possibly match the ache in your chest. He cant, for its to much to even put into words. He hasn't even moved from his seat yet you already long to be in his presence again. Hoshina is sad, yes, but you are 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥.

"Its fine, I really uh— enjoyed talking to you."

"Hey now, dont say it like we wont see each other again. Yer still treating me tomorrow, dont forget about that now. "

"Right."

You guys parted ways after waving goodbye and mumbling 'see you'. The walk back to your hospital room, you felt even more empty and hollow each step your feeble legs took you. Because each step signicates a meter added to the distance between you and him. You dont know where Hoshina is right now, you cant pinpoint his exact location in this big of a hospital and If you could strap a beacon on him, you would. Your chest boils once again, you could feel your lungs close to giving in. It was hell all over again, yet this time, the pain your experiencing is caused by longing. Not because of something so unpleasant, but because of something beautiful. Beautiful, despite being so painful. You pass by many people on the way back, patient and worker alike. You wished you'd pass by a man with a purple bowlcut instead.

You arrived to your own quarters and just collapsit, headfirst on the hospital bed, burrying rour face onto the pillow. It smelled alcholic, to much chemicals used to cleanse it. You inhaled a breath full despite it, the smell left a blazing path in your nostrils, on their way to Polute your lungs. You laid back up right, now met with the pristine material of the crystal white ceiling. Why does every hospital have to be white? Its always so blinding. Not to mention your now having a staring contest with the very source of light in the room, that antagonizing light bulb. It'll turn off automatically at a certain time, but you want it to close now. The darkness was always your comfort, there you were able to lay yourself bare without anyone having to see you.

Your mind wanders back to Hoshina, it seems he put a leash on you as to why you keep thinking about him for more than a normal amount for just a day. You dont wanna be where you cant see him, you wanna hear his sickenly joyous voice and his flashing smile that outshines even the farthest of stars, you wanna talk nonsense with him again, his nonsense never failed to Lift the corners of your mouth to a smile. And you will, tomorrow.

Tomorrow, 8 am. Thats the time you've both agreed upon. Usually, you wouldn't get up until late in the afternoon, just rotting on your bed, the walls would always cave in and the atmosphere was suffocating. You never got up. There was no good reason to, you almost convinced yourself to throw all common sense and self hygiene out the window and just get buried rotting on your bed. Because every time you'd get up, it feels like every misfortune of the whole globe are dumped on your shoulders. It weighs you down, it weighs you back on that sickenly sweet mattress and there you stay there until the next blue moon.

But now, you want to drift to sleep faster and when you wake, your ready to meet Hoshina again. Your so eager to see him, it cant be controlled. His face is the only thing you'd never get tired of. You think its hilarious, you've only met him but you were sure he could mean more. This isn't just some high school crush, your confident about your feelings towards him for you've never felt something this intense your whole uears of living. Not even your longing of death can overrun this feeling. You sew your eyes tight, seeing only pitch black, all this so you could finally sleep and who knows? Maybe even see him in the phantasms of your unconscious state of mind. Thats how low you've stooped. You'll sleep so you can see him faster, you dont like waiting long.

Eventually, you do fall asleep. But not Hoshina. Yes, he's still awake, in his own room, fresh bandages wrapped around his injuries he got from fighting. And yes, if your wondering, hes thinking about you to. He yearns to be in your presence as well, almost as much as you. He doesn't know why. He talks with everyone like that, but he's enjoyed his time with you exceedengly more. Hoshina has been put aside his whole life, all because of his talent and preference for blades over guns. Just because of one measly difference, he was treated differently and looked down upon. But with you, he felt cherished. Its a first for Hoshina to not get judged by first meeting. He doesn't have to train hard or change anything to impress you, it'll come naturally. Hoshina turns around on the matress, facing the window so the ripe rays of the moonlight slapped on his face in result. 'I wants to see her again' was the last thing he talked about before falling asleep.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Its 6 in the morning and your half awake. You woke up to early, just how excited are you? But its not a good thing that theres still alot of time before the agreed upon time. You just know that the next 2 hours will double tenfold when waiting to see Hoshina again. Your not a morning person, not at all. Your regular routine is not for the faint of heart. If some woke up at 6am, you'd be turning off Your phone and tucking yourself to bed. So your shocked by your eagerness to see him, to the point where you'll try to get better. Your convinced Hoshina has hit you with a pan, because your aacting absolutelyInsane.

You brush your teeth and hair, and thoroughly clean your bruises as to the doctors said. You wonder when you gonna get discharged but thats for later, dear reader. You dread the fact that you have to wear that awful hospital gown again, but alas, it is required. You try to look as presentable as you can. You usually wouldnt bother putting effort in your physical appearance, but you figured it would be nice for once. You were sat on a chair, waiting impatiently like a child waiting for they're treat. You were milimeters close to just turning the Whole building upside down just so you can see Hoshina.

So imagine how excited you were when the clock had acutely hit the digit 8. The minute it did, you were busting out of the room, with your injured leg by the way. The pain had seemingly went away and healed, or it was Just overpowered by your giddyness that your nerves didn't have the space to make up for physical pain. So here you were, dragging yourself across these hallways once again. You passed by that same old lady on a wheel chair that you did yesterday. She gave you a judging face back then, which a wasn't such rare occurrence, you were used to having such glares dumped upon the entirety of your shameful being. But now you wondered if she found any difference, between the walking dead body you were yesterday and the eestatic, hungry, affection driven limp you are now.

Whilst you were rushing like you were catching up to a work deadline, he was enjoying his walk through these glossy, hauntingly white hallways. Taking each step according to the comfort of his legs, hands crossed on the broadness of his chest as he struts the hallway. Soshiro Hoshina has always been scary great at maintaining his composure. Those under his wing back at the third division are well aware of it, they have front row seats to how he switches from acting all goofy to having a stoic face in a matter of miliseconds, they even kidded around about how his control over his expressions is the work of witchcraft. However, don't be fooled by his calm demeanor, he's excited to see you as well. But as Vice-captain, it wouldn't be very ideal to him if he just jogged as fast as he can in patient filled hhallway. Hoshina disciplined himself to the bone, he wont let up now.

After what seemed like an eternity of turning corners and navigating his way through these hallways, Hoshina finally sees sight of the cafeteria. He steps in, and the homogenous smell of the food slaps him in the face. If he was weird enough to concentrate and differentiate the aroma, he probably can guess whats on the menu for today. Hoshina wastes no time in trying to find your presence, your presence in which he couldn't get enough of yesterday. His head startes whipping around, turning left to right, right to left in search of a peek of your appearance. He was baffled to say the least, shocked at the population of the people present here this morning. He wants to see you, asap. He started walking to those with even with the slightest resemblance of what your physical appearance looks like, in hopes that it would be you. He saw someone with the same hair color as yours, kinda fooled him there for a brief second. He just kept circling around the vastful room, so distracted in finding you. He doesn't wanna merely sit down and wait, conclude that your not here yet and he should just sit tight. Scarlet eyes scanned the whole cafeteria, but eyes always had blindspots where they provided no visuals, thats why he didn't notice your presence coming up from his south.

You tapped his shoulder from behind.

He doesn't think hes ever whipped his head back that fast his whole life. Hoshina turned his head so urgently he swears he heard a subtle pop in his neck. Upon seeing the sight of your face, he was 'joyous', actually thats underwhelming what Hoshina was feeling at the moment, he was euphoric. His skin feels like its being roasted and his lungs are short of gas. He feels weird, he doesn't know what to do or what to say so hoshina just stood there agape. You didn't move a muscle either, mouth zipped shut with no intention of letting put any sort of noise in fear that he'd back away. You didn't dare try to make a distance, everything else caved in, nothing else mattered, just the one in front of you. He looked so right, and by that you dont mean he's handsome (although he surely is very attractive). By 'right' you mean you'd never get tired of his appearance.

Hoshina Soshiro, to you, is the finest work of art exhibited in museum of life, the most astounding creation of matter you've laid your eyes upon.

Oh shit, you like him, the Hoshina Soshiro.

[dizscreams]

Could do a tara carpenter x fem reader

Tara keeps unknowingly friend-zoning r. R can’t take it anymore

*she feels her heart breaking every time tara is flirting with chad despite it being playful and them not having feeling for each other. R is being petty toward them and it makes tara wonder why her “friend” is mad about.*

She decide to move on and go on a date with someone *she is tired of trying and failing at giving hints to tara that she likes her* tara notice her on date with a person and gets a weird feeling even though she doesn’t know why she feeling like this since she assume r has feeling for chad

Mindy helps/spells it out to her very oblivious friends that r loves her *which make tara have a “oh s**t” moment* and have Mindy be her wingwoman to get the girl

Idk why I feel like tara has a naive side to her and I just see her not noticing that r has been giving hints and she doesn’t get until Mindy just blurts it out and she just like “oh? Oh. OH!😳”

I wanna ruin our friendship PT. 1 — Tara Carpenter ★

part two here!

PAIRING: Tara Carpenter x Fem!reader

SUMMARY: Tara can’t get a hint fr, reader gets hurt and Tara gets hurt, this fic is long I’m so sorry. BUT ITS FLUFF DONT WORRY And I suggest looking at the request I’m too lazy to rewrite a really summary

A/N: i love this idea sm 🤭

You sat across from Tara while she sat next to Chad. They were flirting again like they always were and you glared at Mindy and Anika from where you sat for giving you the confidence to come tonight.

The whole group had planned a dinner at a nice restaurant, and Danny was paying. The reason you hadn’t wanted to go was because you’ve had this enormous crush on your best friend, Tara, for ages now, but she never seemed to reciprocate your feelings. Her and Chad were always flirting when you guys were hanging out.

You had tried flirting with Tara like your friends told you but Tara just brushed you off! She was always friend zoning you, maybe you should get the hint. They like each other, right? They’ve got to. But then why was Tara always flirting with you when you guys were alone? It didn’t make any sense but you pushed your thoughts away and messed with the food in front of you as you listened to Tara and Chad’s conversation.

“You’re pretty cute, you know that?”

“Yeah? You think so?”

“Mhm”

That mixed with the laugh Tara let out, you wanted to puke. It wasn’t fair. Sometimes you thought Tara liked you but when Chad was there it was a different story, you just didn’t understand it. But you knew it was making you upset. Flirty comment after flirty comment you felt the grip on your fork get stronger.

How could she not know you liked her? You tried “putting yourself out there” like Mindy said, you tried giving her hints but nothing worked.

“Hey y/n, you okay?”

Snapping you out of your thoughts was Tara’s voice and that’s when you felt her hand on yours, trying to soothe you. “Yeah, I’m perfect,” you said giving her a sarcastic smile to which she furrowed her eyebrows at.

“What’s wrong? You don’t normally act like this.”

You scoff and what you wanted to say was, “Yeah sorry I’m not in the best mood when I’m seeing my crush and my best friends brother flirt with each other right in front of me” but you didn’t of course.

So you settled with, “I’m just not hungry, I guess.”

She wasn’t satisfied with that answer though.

“Cmon let’s talk outside.”

Before you could come up with an excuse Tara had made it to your side of the table and grabbed your hand, pulling you outside.

The cool air hit your face and Tara wasted no time in interrogating you. “What’s gotten into you?” She asked sounding concerned. “Nothing has gotten into me, I’m just tired. It’s been a long day,” you lied, “Why don’t you just go back to Chad?”

Tara was even more confused now. Why was one of her best friends upset with her? “Did I do something?” she asked. You shook your head, “No, I’m just gonna go home.”

You walked away, leaving Tara puzzled and a little hurt. She didn’t understand but you didn’t blame her, you didn’t understand yourself either. why were you pushing her away? why wont you just tell her? why are you so frustrated? Your thoughts raced as you walked back to your shared dorm you had with Mindy and Anika that luckily wasn’t too far of a walk and immediately jump on your bed. You begin to cry into your pillow as you thought of Tara and all the times you’ve tried flirting with her.

You two have always been close so physical touch wasn’t uncommon. You’d always hold hands or when you would have a movie night she’d lay on your shoulder and you’d have your arms around her. In high school when you guys had sleepovers you used to cuddle. One time when the group was hanging out for the night you two were alone and you almost kissed her, but Chad walked in.

You always compliment her, calling her cute or gorgeous. Pet names weren’t uncommon either, sometimes she’d greet you like, “y/n my love, you made it!”

The tears kept coming but you sat up and hugged your pillow and weakly attempted to wipe them away. Maybe it was time to move on, she was clearly interested in Chad more than you. It would hurt trying to move on, you feel like you’ve liked her forever, maybe you even loved her. But if the feelings weren’t reciprocated there was no point in trying anymore.

You looked at your phone and answered some texts from Anika before falling asleep.

It’s been a few days since the dinner and you’ve been avoiding Tara. You honestly didn’t really notice until Mindy told you Tara was worried about you. However, you didn’t want to worry about her right now since you were getting ready for a date. You picked a simple outfit, a cute black shirt with some lace on it and jeans that fit you good. This was going to get your mind off of everything.

You had met your date at a cute little restaurant and you were enjoying yourself. The person was kind and funny but you felt off at the same time. They were sweet sure but there was something missing. You knew you wanted Tara to be the one you were one a date with, but you couldn’t help how things turned out. This was supposed to be good for you, so you pushed your true feelings down.

Tara was out with Quinn walking down the streets of New York. Tara always preferred the city when it was dark, the lights were much prettier. “Hey can we go in here real quick? I just wanna grab a coffee then we can head home,” Quinn said pointing to a cutely lit restaurant with roses out front. Tara nodded, “Sure, I’ll get one too.”

They went inside and took in their surroundings, it was quite a pretty place. Tara figured it was new since she hadn’t seen it before. Tara told Quinn her order and headed to a little bar by a window while Quinn went in line. Tara looked at all the couples passing by the window and she started fantasizing about being in a cutesy romantic relationship like that.

She was about to put her headphones on until she heard something, or someone. She heard you, she heard your laugh and she quickly turned around only to have her heart slightly break at the sight. She saw you with someone else, on a date clearly. They were attractive and you looked happy. You looked beautiful too, you always did. She wasn’t sure why it bothered her so much but it did. It hurt, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away.

Quinn managed to get Tara out of her gaze by tapping her on the shoulder, “Tara, you there?”

She quipped her head to the red head, “Huh? Yeah, I’m fine,” she gave a sad smile and Quinn tilted her head unconvinced. “What were you looking at?” Quinn asks, concerned for her friend. “Uh, Y/n’s here. It just caught me off guard you know? Lets go,” Tara jumped out of her seat and walked out the door and Quinn quickly followed her but not before getting a good look at you and your date.

When they got to their apartment Mindy, Anika, Ethan, and Chad were already there along with Sam and Danny. Tara had given them a small wave when she walked in but immediately went to her room and shut the door. “What’s up with her?” Sam was the first to ask. Quinn sighed, “She saw y/n on a date at a cafe we went to. She’s pretty upset about it and I’m not sure why. I thought she liked Chad,” she said shrugging.

Chad had a confused expression and muttered a ‘What? Me?’ And Mindy rolled her eyes, “She doesn’t like Chad! God, nobody around here can catch a hint, I’ll talk to her,” she said and got up from her seat with Anika, while Anika let out a small snicker.

Mindy softly knocked on the door, “T? You in there?” She heard nothing but a muffled ‘Yeah!’ on the other side of the door allowing her to open it. “Quinn told me,” Mindy said sitting down on the mattress while Tara sat up groaning, “I don’t get it. I kinda thought she liked Chad-“

“Chad!” Mindy yelled at the girl, “What do you mean Chad?! What is it with everyone and Chad today?!”

“Well, at dinner the other night she was upset and she said something about me going back to Chad or something,” Tara mumbled.

Now it was Mindy’s turn to groan, “Tara, oh my god! She likes you, you big idiot! She’s like in love with you and she’s been sending all these signals and she’s been calling me nonstop about how you don’t get any of them! You’re always flirting with Chad!” Mindy rambled and Tara’s jaw was on the floor. You liked her? No, you loved her?! Since when? She’s liked you for so long and you thought she liked Chad? She can’t blame you cause she thought you liked Chad.

Tara looked at Mindy wide eyed and processed everything that was just said to her. “Wait y/n thought I liked Chad? I flirt with him as a joke.”

Mindy sighed, “Well tell y/n that. Do you like her back?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then tell her!” Mindy said standing and Tara shot up from her seat on the bed and grabbed her phone. She shooed Mindy out of her room and called you and prayed you’d answer. Lucky for her, you did, cause you missed her more then she knew. “Hello? Y/n? I’m coming to your dorm right now can you meet me there, it’s important.”

IM SORRY IT FEELS SO MEAN NOT ADDING THE CONFESSION BUT THIS SEEMED SO LONG I DIDNT THINK ANYONE WOULD WANT TO READ THAT MUCH 😭😭😭

[cinnanamii]

Ganjis 3rd year birthday letter and the heavy mischaracterization of the characters in game 3/just ranting about the birthday letter

(⚠️⚠️‼️THIS POST WILL BE DISCUSSING LEAKS/SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR GAME 3 OF IDV!! IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE SPOILED ON GANJIS 3RD YEAR LETTER OR GAME 3, SCROLL AWAY PLEASE! AND ALSO KEEP IN MIND, I AM NOT A GAME 3 EXPERT! IF I GET ANYTHING WRONG FEEL FREE TO CORRECT ME!!‼️⚠️⚠️)

Ganjis 3rd year letter was leaked recently (you can probably find post about it on tiktok and on discord servers) and I am so far beyond unimpressed and disappointed.

To start out this yap session/rant, I’m going to list the characters serial numbers, so that you can know who I will be talking about so that you can get a grip on what I will be discussing.

• 3-1-2 is anne

• 3-?-1 is aesop

• 3-1-4 is ganji

• 3-?-3 is Victor

The fact that netease decided to fill the letter with shock value racism, ruin annie as a character, and just ruined Ganjis character arc, and basically made Victor useless is so BEYOND me. This is a a lot, so I wanna start by talking about the blatant mischaracterization of annie and ganji in this letter.

To start off, they made annie so unnecessarily, hateful and racist towards ganji. It would make sense for annie to be afraid of loud noises, as they did introduce her as a timid woman, but making her afraid of ganji and becoming violent to him because of his accent is so beyond me. The whole reason why annie attacked ganji was originally because aesop manipulated annie into hurting him, not that annie got scared of the way he spoke? Plus, due to her timid and sweet girl type personality i could never see annie physically fighting/attacking ganji, it’s just not something that would happen. How could she ever have the confidence to do that, when she was literally scared of ganji? Then, on top of that, annie wouldn’t be provoked by his accent so easy? In her trailer, she was literally described to be like her mother, who was very nice, that being a trait annie had. So for her to just go attacking him so so EXTREMELY out of character for her.

Then, next screenshot I’m showing right now is the shock value racism randomly put in this for god who knows why?

“unfavorable impression” caused by 3-1-4’s accent? This is so ooc for annie, it feels like a poorly written oc/au. The antagonization of annie feels so unnecessary and just not needed. Game 3 might not have had a Hunter, but it did have an antagonist, that being aesop. The whole antagonization doesn’t feel right for her at all.

Then now, I wanna talk about Victor. One of the main things in game 3 is that they were not able to talk or communicate with each other. if they were able to do that, what’s the point of him even being here if they could already speak verbally? His writing was already kinda not the best, but this entire letter takes whatever relevance he had to the plot away. He needs to get something consistent, or else in this case his character is just useless. It’s completely unfair that aesop is able to get clear motivations and goals, but the other characters goals and aspirations just get handled horribly.

Game 3 was so unique in the way it functioned, and with the characters that were so similar, but so different at the same time. What could have been a group of compelling a deeply well written characters now feel like a dumpster fire or mischaracterization and the severe lack of coherence. All just from one letter too. This feels like a big fat slap in the face for me as someone who loved game 3, and all of the characters for game 3, ESPECIALLY annie, and if you loved game three, also this should feel like a slap in the face for you too.

**im aware that this is a leak, and it could be potentially false, but this has been on my mind practically ever since I heard of it, and everything is just so absurd.**

edit: the letter was updated and changed, a few things did change (examp; annie isnt racist anymore) but that dosent mean I don’t have issues with the letter, I’ll probably make an updated post eventually if people r still interested in this

[lonigiri]

warnings: big dick!gyubxfem!reader. porn with very little plot, bewbs, reader is kinda a slut but like in a good way, use of slut, dumbification, gyuvin is lowk whipped, oral (f rec), fingering, gyub is a cutie, making out, begging, creampie, no protection (wrap it up babes🙏) use of pet names (gyuv, dollface, doll, pretty girl, sweet girl), gyuvin acts all tough but hes a sweetie at heart, gyuv is estimated to be abt 10" in here but its not officially stated

notes: hes so fine guys i cant do this anymore (yes i can and i will continue) (not proofread) also this is kinda a 100 follower special thing, tysm dollfaces i love all of you bbs 🩷

sure you were teasing him. wearing that tiny bikini around his friends. you knew he liked you but you didnt care. you saw it as almost an opportunity to get what you wanted. he knew it, he knew you were teasing him on purpose. but that still didnt make it right in his head. whenever he'd try to calm himself down, you'd do something else to make him impossibly harder then he already was. his eyes trained on you, watching the way your tits bounced whenever you would take a step, them practically pooling out of the tiny bikini top. you were flirting with his friends. that was his last straw. putting your hand on ricky's shoulder, pressing your top half against him, and ricky obviously wasnt complaining. gyuvin basically pulled you away from ricky telling his friend that he had to talk to you about something.

gyuvin pulled you into the house and into a spare bedroom closing the door. "gyuv! i was talking to ricky!" you pouted at the man that just stared at you like you were mearly insane. he stepped closer to you, you backing up, eventually hitting the door that was closed behind you. you let out a tiny yelp when gyuvin slammed his hands on the door behind you on either side of your face. "what is it with you and flirting with all of my friends?" gyuvin asked lowly. "you dont own me you know, just because you like me doesnt mean that i like you back." you stuck your tounge out at him. that was the thing, you did like him back. god you liked him so much that whenever you were touching yourself you thought of him. the only reason why you flirted with his brain-dead friends was for him to make a move, and he was. finally. "okay well if you dont like me then go get fucked by ricky, looked like you really wanted it back there." gyuvin was about to grab the door knob to let you out "wait!" you squeaked, you grabbed his hand and he just looked at you, "yes?" he was going to make you tell him what you wanted. "if you want something you're gonna have to use your words, come on, i know you can use that pretty mouth of yours, you run it all the time."

"kiss me please, touch me, need you." you looked up at him, your eyes fixating on his, his pupils dialating. he just nodded and moved his hands, one on your face and the other on your waist as he kissed you deep. you obviously returning the kiss. you biting at his lips, his tongue entering your mouth, deepening the kiss. you moaned into the kiss when gyuvins touch went from your waist upto your chest, lightly circling the hard buds.

"gyuv, please, need you." you had no clue what you were begging for, but you just knew you wanted more. he chuckled lowley, "do you even understand what you're begging for? you just wanna be stretched out on my cock like a little slut huh?" you mewled at his words. just nodding dumbly, "yes, yes please, need it!" just like that you were picked up and thrown onto the bed. he practically tore off your bikini. pulling your legs around his head, nipping at the insides of your thighs. "gonna have to stretch you out before you get my cock sweet girl. i dont think you'll be able to handle me without prep." you just whimpered out. "gyuv please, need you to touch me now." he obviously obliged. he couldnt not give his sweet girl what she wanted, or so desperately needed. his tongue lapped at your folds, soaking in all the wetness. just the act of him doing that made you abrupt in the loudest moan. your hips bucking at his face. "fuck doll, how long has it been since you've been touched." his long fingers tracing your pussy, one of them stuffing you full. you stifled down a moan, not wanting to sound so desperate. "god do i already have you dumb? i've barely even touched you. im starting to believe you've never been touched here before." you werent a virgin. i mean sure, every man you've been with have never engaged in foreplay or lasted more then 5 minutes but thats besides the fact.

he thrusted his middle finger in and out of you before he stuffed his ring finger inside of you. scissoring them, you've probably never felt this immense amount of pleasure in your life. you're back was arching off the bed so prettily. gyuvin swore he could've came in his pants just watching you. instead of said cumming in his pants he decided to use his tongue on your sensitive bud. that sent you into overdrive. "f.fuck gyuvin! s' so close k, keep going please." you mewled out. he couldnt say no to you, he could never. you were spasaming around his fingers. he then pushed a third finger into you. curling his fingers up, hitting that gummy spongy place in your silky walls. "just like that gyu! fuck im gonna cum, please let me, im so close!" gyuvin didnt think he could physically get any harder, but there his body is, proving him wrong. "of course dollface, cum for me sweet girl." and just like that at the drop of a hat you did. releasing at his words, your back arching and your fingers digging into the sheets. your moans like drugs to him. he pulled his fingers out of you and licked up all your cum, loving the taste of you, you tasted so good he couldnt help himself.

he crawled upto you, leaving kisses and marks all over your body wherever he could get his lips. he kissed your lips chastely. he pulled off his swim trunks, his fat cock slapping against his abdomen. his fat tip angry. his dick was so pretty, and big. god he was big, this was just registering in your brain. "g..gyuv, will it fit?" you mustered out. "it will dollface, we'll make it fit, alright sweet girl?" he cooed, carressing your face. he grabbed the base of his cock and ran his fat tip through your folds. you let out tiny whimpers. his tip centered at your hole and he pushed himself in. the stretch was crazy, even if he had prepped you for an hour straight you wouldnt have been ready for him. he was so thick and long, god you felt like he was pushing himself in you for a lifetime. and it hurt, god it hurt, but the pleasure was so much greater. the feeling of him stretching out your walls was so amazing. your nails digging into his biceps as he finally bottomed out. his tip digging into your uterus. he placed his hand over your abdomen where you could see his tip bulging through. "god, you feel so nice, wrapped around me so tight. i told you i could fit sweet girl." you were already so dumb. only muttering out slurs of words and his name.

his hips started moving slowly sure he wanted to fuck you dumb, but he didnt want to hurt you. not in a way that wasnt pleasurable at least. him lightly fucking into you. god it felt so good. "gyuv, please, need more. please faster." he couldnt not oblige to your pleads. you sounded so pretty, of course he gave you what you wanted. his hips snapping into you faster then before, a lot faster. you were squeezing around him so well he could barely hold on. "fuck baby, you're squeezing me so well. its like you want me to fill you up. huh is that what you want, for me to make you full of my cum? for me to fuck it so deep into you that you're full of my kids huh?" all you could do is dumbly nod and let out the most lewd moans. "yes yes need it so bad gyuv! need you to fill me up." you didnt know what you were saying. you just wanted gyuvin for so long and now you finally have him, and whatever he said you agreed to. you were officially fucked dumb, and you didnt mind one bit.

his thrusts got harder and somehow deeper. his fingers were circling your clit. "fuck gyu, m' so close, keep, keep doing that please." you stifled out. your nails digging into his skin. he just nodded, his head drooping down into your shoulder peppering kisses on your skin. "fuck doll, you feel so good, so nice and warm, perfect for me." you whimpered at his words, how was this man so fucking hot ⁉️. your cunt fluttering around him. "god gyuv im gonna cum. so close." your right hand went upto his brown locks softly tugging at them. he just nodded in agreement. "me too sweet girl, cum with me huh, be a good girl for me." he dug his finger tips into your hips as his thrusts became sloppier. you let out a high moan as you came around his cock, cunt squeezing him nice and tight, he let out a string of swears before he came deep inside you.

letting his head fall into your neck. sucking hickies onto your collarbone his hot breath fanning the spots. you let go of his hair and softly brushed his locks instead of tugging it. you kissed the top of his head and you could feel the smile on your skin. "thank you." he muttered shyly. "whats you with being shy right now, you just fucked me stupid you know."

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please do not repost or translate. likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

[yooboobies]

here is my gif wrapped for 2024 /ᐠ - ‸ -マ - tagged by @jkvjimin and @cordiallyfuturedwight thank you for thinking of me too darlings! the brain behind the idea: the amazing @raplinenthusiasts

What a year... I feel like most I would like to say here has been already said and I don't want to drag the past with myself anymore. You all know anyway!:) January and February won't be included in this one, so my list is a bit shorter... but I am happy I decided to come back in March and start it all over again. Thank you for giving me the space to create. I love creating, I love capturing my ideas let those be tiny stories, comforting pieces, vibes or literally anything, by using gifs. I love giving my creativity the space! I will inlcude each month's most popular, and personal favourite ones!:)

March: beautiful hobi the first and only set I made in this month when I came back - this one is very dear to me

April: the most popular was too sweet yoongi but my personal favourite were yoonjin and floofy sope

May: may was a rough month work vise so I didn't make a lot but my most popular piece was the last yoongi (he is so huhhh) - my personal favourite was the mint choco set for dasha

June: the most popular was definitely undercut sope (AS THEY SHOULD!!!!) and my personal favourites are smiley yoongi and fav yoongi x bangtan moments

July: very hot yoongi was my most popular one this month (as he should) but honestly the one I adore the most are sope holding hands, ukiyo yoongi and rockstar yoonmin

August: yoongi's love language (most popular - i dont wanna add anything or i will cry) personal favourite ones: first piece of laugh series ; yoongi's comfort words and hobi arms

September: the most popular was jinkook sharing one brain cell (i love them) personal favourites: tongue technology ; the transition set (because I spent SO MANY HOURS on this) and yoonmin for my min (pat <3)

October: most popular was kim iconic seokjin personal favourite one: how to take care of your yoongi (once again nothing to add or i will cry - but this is my dearest set.... forever!)

November: most popular one was happy hobi (i am sobbing i love him) and my personal favourite ones are tiny jin and yoongi x hoseok

December:

most popular was tae and yeontan but for reasons i hope you understand if I don't include that here (I never intended to make that for popularity just to remember yeontan!)

so my second most popular one was *sigh* this seokjin and my personal favourite one was tiny kook

I think that wraps up my year - I will probably have more out this month, maybe even better ones but it feels right to end it with these two!:) Thank you once again for giving me the opportunity to be a creator on this site and for loving what I do!

Some of u didnt get tagged so I tagged you now as I noticed I put too many tags in one part so I am sorry!!!!

Gonna tag @rjshope @taehyunghobi @btsjk-biased @jung-koook @kookjinnies

@kth1 @thatgoddamngingerundercut @taee @jinstronaut

@magicshop @heybaetae @btsiu @dasisugarun @sugajimin

@namchyoon and everyone else who feels like they want to do it!

I am a big big fan every single one of you! Don't forget that! <3

FUTURE'S GONNA BE OKAY!

[kiwi-channn]

falling petals

simon riley × fem reader (wife)

(part 2)

I was gonna make it a break up but I thought I could make it a bit more realistic so don't come at me :⁠-⁠)

Also I wanted to end it in this part but it was gonna be too long if I ended it here so maybe there will be just a part 3

Anyway hope you like this part (⁠^⁠^⁠)

(another little thing: I didn't mention any babies in part 1 but I thought I should give them a baby really to make it more reasoning for this part so reader and Simon have a little baby okay.. but it wasn't necessary before)

part 1 here

....….................................................

you were folding some of your clothes in the bedroom, it has been four days since that confession, and now y/n is just back here like nothing happened. Yes he has been sleeping on the couch in the living room but she is still back in their house, the house they built together. Every time her gaze falls on any corner in that house, memories rush to her mind, happy moments, sad moments, argument moments… it was home.. But now it feels foreign.. Not the same place she knows, not the same place she felt comfortable in, not the place she wanted to decorate most of the time, to make it look better. Now she just feels so empty like a shell thrown on the shore away from the sea water, the cruel waves kicked her out of the water she loved.

“All men are like this, just live for your kid” that sentence keeps repeating in her head, like a broken record, replaying again and again…

…….

On that confession night at 12:30 after midnight, she locked herself in the bedroom with her small baby, crying and crying until there were no more tears coming out of her eyes, but she still felt so damaged and broken, looking beside her at the roses he sent while on deployment without an occasion, now she understands why he sent them, he was guilty, that is all…

The red petals are dry, so dry, their fresh red color is fading, and they are slowly falling on the surface of the nightstand beside the bed… 

Her little baby daughter is still crying.. Like she feels her mother's broken heart, crying for her sadness, y/n doesnt know how to calm down and stop her heart from bleeding nor how to calm her little girl down… it feels black not even blue… so she just kept crying with her .. Will this horrible night end?!... Is it all a horrible nightmare?...

 (will i wake up now?)

After about half an hour of this bleak time, y/n decides to leave, she can’t take this anymore, she feels so disgusted at her unfaithful husband simon riley..

She gets up, her body feeling heavy, and first before anything feeding her crying baby girl to make her calm down and not cry anymore… and she gathers some of her stuff and holds her baby up in one arm and a small bag in the other hand, taking a deep breath before going out.. hoping that he isn't outside...

Slowly opening the bedroom's door, taking a peek outside to see where simon is, 'cause she doen't wanna see him… she thanks god that he isn't out there, and she doesn't care where he is really, she quickly takes some necessary stuff for the baby and wears her sneakers and leaves that dark house…. 

Takes a taxi to her mom’s house, she really needs her right now, she wants any kind of support, and her mother’s embrace is gonna be the best thing ever to gaher her broken pieces together…. 

 ….

“What happenned?” her mom says softly… “what did he do? Why are you back with your baby and you look horrible?”... “speak to me.. Iam getting more worried..” her mom was so concerned… she knew that something big happened making her daughter come to her this late at night..

Y/n sighs tiryingly, thinking if she should tell her mom about the whole thing… 

“Nothing, I just don't wanna see his face ever again..” says so quietly with a tired heart.. 

“What?... you dont wanna see simon?!... are you for real?..” her mom can't believe her ears… her daughter was always so in love with him.. She is sure that something big happened .. She looks carefully at her dead looking daughter y/n… she sees her puffy red eyes from crying, her pale face…

“He is seeing someone?..” her mom said so calmly like she wasn't even asking, it is a statement…

She can't believe that her mom guessed it so quickly.. She looks at her… confused “how did you know?” .. “did he look so unloyal? Was I so stupid?.. Mom” she couldnt help but shed a few tears.. Her mother felt so sad for seeing her collapsing like this… hugging her tightly..

“I can't, i dont wanna live anymore in this world, i wish i was never even born… i did everything i can, i tried to be good at everything… where did i go wrong?..”

“It is not your fault and you know it… you did nothing wrong, you are the best, you are my daughter..” 

“Then why?... why did he do that?... i feel so mad, i don't wanna see his face, i hate him… i don't wanna look at his face again… he fooled me… i was so dumb..” sobbing more..

“Calm down my dear.. Just cry it out… vent it all out.. Lighten your heart… I'm here..”

(i dont remember for how long i cried, i just cried and cried like a baby in my mom's arms… i didnt feel anything after that nor even remember what happened exactly after that……)

………..

She finished folding the clothes … then she got up and went to the kitchen to drink some water and refresh herself… she doen't know what to do anymore… but she can't ignore what her mom said a few days ago..

.........

“Mom!.. What are you saying?.. Should I just stay with him like nothing happened?... do you-”

“I know… i know it's hard and you feel so mad and disgusted… but… let's be realistic okay?..”

“Realistic!... oh so i should just ignore what happened and stick with him like he didn't do anything…”

“y/n..”

“Like he didn't see someone else.. Like he did touch someone else while I was here alone, taking care of my child alone… he was just doing that thing!... that. he touched someone else.. He .. he just loved someone else….”

“Calm down… i know what iam saying is frustrating , but i dont want you to be like me… i dont your child to not have his parents together… think about your kid… remember how you felt when your father left…”

“I remember how I felt.. But you know how it feels to be betrayed… how come you are telling me to not get a divorce!.. I dont understand you.. Mom.. I imagine how he was with her.. Was I nothing?... he just kissed her, said the same things to her.. ” tears welling up in her eyes… she feels like a broken faucet… tears driping all the time… 

“Iam telling you to not do it, because i know how it feels… but every time i felt i needed someone with me to take care of you and your sister.. I wished to not be alone at that time…” her mom said..

“But..”

“It is your decision but i think you should give him a chance… give another chance to that home you built… don't just let it all down… for some other woman... Don't let her take your place".... "and at the end of the day it's your choice…”

……..

The front door opening woke her up to the present… she saw simon coming in through the door, she felt like throwing up the moment she looked at his face, and she looked back at the kettle … 

He felt awkward, she used to welcome him every time he came back no matter where he went, even if it was down the street… but it feels strange now, the mood is so gloomy… like he is a guest coming for a short visit and should leave… he wants to make it better.. To solve this… 

“Hey..” he says gently.. Looking at her back… he wants to get closer.. To feel her .. "I went to the store to buy some diapers for lily"

She didnt answer him.. Not even looking his way.. Like he was nothing..

He sighed and approached her a bit.. He stopped at the entrance of the kitchen, he doen't dare to get closer.. To enter her space… she has already closed the door of that unseen space…

“Can you at least answer me.. y/n” his voice was tired.. He couldn’t sleep for the last few days… feeling so grossed at himself.. He doesn't understand what he did himself…

She still doesnt answer.

“At least get mad… dont just be silent..” 

“What do you want me to say?...” .. “I told you I'm only here for my child… I'm not here to fix anything..” she snaps at him… her voice raising a bit.. but her tone is still firm...

“I know that… but since I picked you up from your mom's house, you didnt say anything… and why not fix it… i will-” he is so desperate..

“I don't want anything from you… i don't even wanna see your face…” y/n says angrily…not caring about hurting his feelings like before.. she actually wanna hurt him… she wanna make him feel more horrible.. more desperate..

“I'm sorry..” he just aplogized quietly.. Making her more mad…

“I don't wanna hear it… it won't change anything…”

“Maybe if you talked.. Let it out on me….” he begs her.. he doesn't mind if she even threw anything at him.. he knows that what he did will never be forgiven especially from her.. but he still hopes a bit...

“I said stop talking to me…”

“y/n… I'm not gonna stop, I will try until you talk…” it's like he is provoking her more...

“You want me to talk!... fine.. I hate you and i feel so disgusted every time i see your face… i wish that i take all the years i wasted on you back… i wish i didn't marry you… i wish i didn't have a kid with you… i really will never ever forgive you…. I ..” she snapped again… letting lots of things out of her heart… 

Simon didn't say anything back, he just listened to her.. He knows he made a huge mistake but will do anything to fix this…

And she continues “I gave you everything… all of me.. I tried and tried… I learned how to cook to make a warm meal for you and make you feel at home… I ignored how cold you get sometimes… ignored how lonely and tired i was .. all alone most of the time.. But I stayed loyal… I took care of my kid all alone… I worked hard to make this relationship work… i put my trust in you, told you all my fears ,and even though i told you i don't trust men because of my dad and you just… you..”

“I'm sorry..” he said with a so quiet tone, like he was scared to mess it up more… he doesn't know what to say... Just feeling more ashamed..

“I don't wanna hear your apology…” said quietly as she wiped her tears... she didn't want to cry in front of him...

he tried getting closer to her.. he wanted to hold her close... he really hoped she would forgive him... he really wanted them to go back to how it was.. to how warm she was.. to how happy she was... not like this...

she felt his arms around her... making her feel more broken... but it all fell down already, she can't just accept his hug like before...

he expected it when she pushed his arms away from her... walking out of the kitchen with one last sentence... "Don't get close to me.."

....

with this chaotic encounter, she goes to the bedroom and smacks the door behind her, locking it... she hates it so much... hates seeing his face.. hates his voice.. how did that woman look like.. how could he touch someone else.. this is driving her crazy... and what is driving her crazy more is how she can't cut it all and end it for good... what should she really do?... should she just let go and walk away from him?... or stay and give this a chance?... she does need help.. and needs time too... her emotions and feelings are all over the place...