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shihalyfie · 4 years ago

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How to meet (or reunite with) your Digimon partner, according to 02

Here’s a post dedicated to those of you who are worried or sad about Kizuna’s premise, or how the way it ends is supposed to lead up to the 02 epilogue, and are thinking of that elephant-in-the-room question of “so then how do they get their partners back?” I’m not the Kizuna staff, so I can’t say anything for sure, but I can tell you that 02 gives us some interesting leads here!

You’re probably thinking “weren’t Kizuna and the problem of partnership dissolution made after 02? Isn’t this an Adventure movie? Why are you bringing 02 into this?” Ah, but you see, that might be true if you’re thinking of it on a technical plot level, but 02 as a series isn’t as thematically displaced from Kizuna as you might think, especially when the exact same real-life incident about a kid skipping grades, the one that literally was the foundation for 02′s creation to begin with, was brought back 20 years later for Menoa’s backstory. Certainly, a lot of the plot points introduced in Kizuna are new to it, but the themes and things it wants to say about self-acceptance and how to pursue happiness have very deep parallels to 02 -- which means that it’s not much of a stretch to think that some of the answers to the questions presented in Kizuna can be found in 02, too.

While it’s true that “getting your partner back from adulthood existential-crisis induced disappearance” is not a problem that necessarily presented itself in 02, remember that we’re dealing with a lot of theme parallels here -- a Digimon is part of one’s heart, and the central characters of both narratives (Ken and Menoa) had backstories that came from the same real-life story, one that warns that pressuring a kid into “adult” situations that they’re not emotionally prepared to handle will mess them up and cause them to lose their sense of self. The answer to the question of “how to get a partner back” in Kizuna was only pursued by the very scientifically-minded Menoa, who mashed keys on the keyboard and played around with egg data to get it to work, but this is Digimon, where these kinds of fateful meetings and evolutionary moments happen because of the heart, and everyone depicted lost their partners for reasons related to mentality and not science (remember, Menoa lost Morphomon at 14). Has Menoa done any real introspection in the last eight years? Probably not.

So, back in 02, when Ken did lose his sense of self, he eventually came back to his senses and decided to reclaim Wormmon. Thanks to how the plot worked, Wormmon merely “died” and was set to be reborn at the Village of Beginnings, but...

Just being reborn by the mechanics of the plot wouldn’t do it. Ken would never be able to find Wormmon again until he accepted something else, which is...

...himself. Everything good and bad about him, what he’d done in the past, how he has to move on with that, and how to move on with the person he actually is instead of the shell of the Kaiser. And with that, he is led to Wormmon, and is able to start the process of repairing their relationship.

So the point made here in 02 episode 23 is: one will only be able to be reunited with their partner if they can accept everything about themselves and become able to move on -- something that Menoa, who forced herself into the role of an “adult” in the hopes of getting more acceptance among her peers and eventually drowned herself in nostalgia, was most certainly not doing over the course of the movie.

So anyway, we get to 02 episode 50, and the parallel becomes even less subtle -- “a Digimon partner” is given a very direct correlation to “one’s own personal aspirations and dreams”. If you look back at the entire plot of 02 up to this point, with Ken and the Dark Seed children, all of them have been shoving aside “themselves” and “what they wanted to do” in an effort to please others -- to become well-behaved, studious, athletic, whatever society expected of them, instead of what they wanted to do.

So all of the kids admit all of the embarrassing, “undignified” dreams that they’d been holding back because they’d felt that they weren’t “allowed” to have them (following Daisuke’s shameless example of admitting that he’s fine with doing something as simple as running a ramen shop), and are encouraged to be a bit shameless about it and forget what society wants them to do, instead of what they want to do. The word “belief” is brought up a lot in this episode -- it’s not just having dreams, you also have to really, truly believe in your ability to make them happen and have the gusto to follow them without restraint.

And so, this strong resolution to have “belief” allows their partners to spontaneously manifest in front of them -- and it’s all but stated that said “dreams” and said partners are equivalent, and even implied that their partners had always existed in their hearts in some form, just not able to truly appear until they fully accepted themselves. Or, in other words, you will only be able to meet your partner when you embrace everything about yourself and what you want to do, regardless of what others think or what society expects of you, and have the will to pursue it.

(By the way, yes. Spontaneously manifest. Even if most of Adventure/02 had been defined by concrete mechanics for the most of it, in the end, this is still a narrative about the human heart before anything else.)

And guess who else learns this lesson by the end of the episode?

When Oikawa, who had been childishly (hmmm) chasing after shallow symbols of his past in order to get it back (hmmmmmm) because he considered himself too much of a “tainted adult” (hmmmm, sounds familiar) back in 02 episode 48, finally comes to realize what his actual mistake was and that he should have been more free about pursuing his dreams instead of accepting Chikara taking them away from him and Hiroki, Oikawa is finally able to reconnect with the partner he’d “lost” all of those years ago (hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm). So, again, you will only be able to reunite with your partner once you accept everything about yourself and what you should do from here on out.

(Hey, fun fact: Pipimon also spontaneously appeared in front of Oikawa the moment he accepted this. Although the exact specifics of the current “adulthood” issue were probably not conceived until Kizuna, “not being able to reach a partner that you once had due to cutting your own dreams off” has precedent!)

Moreover, Menoa’s backstory seems practically engineered to make sure that she never witnessed this nor learned this lesson -- she lost her partner “eight years ago”, in 2002, the exact same year the events of 02 took place. Assuming that she lost said partner in the middle of the year (her flashback seems to take place in spring or so, when university admissions results are issued), this would have prevented her from participating in the “world tour” battles around the world in 02 episodes 40-42 and engaging with Daisuke and friends, and particularly from joining in the final fight with BelialVamdemon and therefore witnessing what happened with the Dark Seed children and Oikawa. Which means that her ability to get this cynical about partnership dissolution being “inevitable” and that there’s no way to regain your hopes and dreams was enabled by the fact that she didn’t get to learn the lesson that the Tokyo Chosen Children did all those years ago...

Let’s look at the four who lost their partners over the course of Kizuna. Where were they at the time they lost their partners?

Menoa: Considering herself spurned by other people who “look at her weird” and desperate to “live on her own two feet” and “be useful to the world”, forced herself into the role of an “adult” by getting herself to skip grades into a university setting she was unprepared for, for the sake of recognition more than anything, and ended up living a very lonely life

Taichi: Isolated himself from others for the sake of living independently and “having his own life to live”, losing focus about anything he wanted to do, and allowing himself to get slowly disconnected from Agumon

Yamato: Developed a sense of detachment from his old hobbies and started living life for a “grace period” due to lack of real focus on what he wanted to do

Sora: Started forcing herself into “obligations” to succeed her mother in flower arrangement and from her Chosen Child duties, to the point she isolated herself from others and started losing control over herself

(Funny thing: a big part of 02′s story was about finding support in others and fostering your relationships, and here we are with four people who are slowly “isolating” themselves from others...)

It’s not about “becoming an adult” and losing your partner. It’s about shoving yourself into the societally-enforced standard of an adult and losing yourself in the process, and therefore losing your ability to see your partner.

And so, by the end of Kizuna, all four of them have lost their partners -- but we also see the characters we know and love starting to follow their way to what we know is the 02 epilogue, through some very unsubtle hint dropping (retroactive hints to the careers we’re already aware of, such as Taichi’s future in diplomacy). Which means that the eventual existence of the 02 epilogue is in itself the answer to the question, because the epilogue is: everyone found what they wanted to do and pursued it, and therefore everyone eventually figured out their personal aspirations and what they wanted to do, and were able to accept and pursue it, which was established earlier as the key to meeting your partner.

By the way! It’s also revealed in 02 episode 50 that the Digital World itself is at least partially formed on “the power to materialize emotions” (both positive and negative), which is the explanation for so many phenomena over both Adventure and 02 being related to the human heart, and presumably is also why Digimon partners can even exist to begin with (they’re literally supposed to be a part of the inner self, so the power of the Digital World is what “brings them out”). All four “disappearances” on record happened with all four of them in the real world, fixated on their obligations to society and attempting to turn themselves into model citizens, but all of the above “meetings” with partners in 02 -- and Menoa making true “contact” with Morphomon (inside Eosmon) for the first time since her disappearance -- also happened in the Digital World, the world of idealistic dreams, personal aspirations, and the materialization of people’s emotions.

#digimon #digimon adventure 02 #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #kizuna spoilers

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nanakah · 3 years ago

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about Ishigami, his growth and Miko's role

most people, myself included, thought at some point that Tsubame's rejection (or acceptance) could wrap up Ishigami's arc and even his past's flashbacks neatly, but Osaragi's arc suddenly revealing there was more to his relationship with Miko made me reflect more and think nah...if anything we're halfway there. It also showed glimpses of him already struggling to find his place in the world by quitting his clubs, even though he was successful at them and there was no Ootomo incident yet to undermine his self-image.

It seemed odd that despite everything he went through he still has his "hair=shield/averting eyes" theme going strong, but it makes sense if you consider even though Tsubame helped him see the way to be more accepting of people and cleared his name, his self-esteem still is super low. I spoke of this in my "sutera" meta, but to Ishigami, his life still has been a sucession of failures and almosts. At his core, he still hasn't fully opened up to people or learned to use his vulnerabilities to his advantage.

If I have grabbed your interest thus far, keep reading for more considerations!

Tsubame is kind to anyone and attempted to do good for him, but ultimately he was never fully himself around her, nor she tried/he alllowed her reaching out to the deepest parts of his insecurities. She doesn't show her own flaws to him either and to this day we get the feeling we don't know her well, just the best parts that Ishigami wanted to see. Kaguya, Miyuki and Chika contribute a lot in a sibling-like way, but there's a limit to how much Kaguya in particular can inspire him. Miko however, has scratched a little beneath the surface and has expressed an interest in helping him with that, even if he himself is still avoiding the topic. She's also more relatable to him in the sense that the rest of the stuco has a history of successes in their lives, while he was able to watch Miko's hardships and failures closely. Their panic attacks even look similar and they're always watching the other to provide backup (in a very roundabout way, at least before) when they happen.

While their personalities are fundamentally different, his arc and struggles remind me a lot of Miyamura from Horimiya and today, as I was musing on what is so different about them as of now, I believe it's how Miyamura didn't have a single *traumatic* mistake to get over, so he goes down his development road much faster. Putting it another way, it's ultimately that Ishigami hasn't yet learned to be kind to himself like Miyamura has through Hori. Like Shirogane and Kaguya are through themselves. In Miyamura's case, sympathizing with how Hori despite her strong exterior can be very fragile inside but still support him (fight for him, defend him, accept his true self, not judge him, hear him, make him feel good enough) made him feel compelled to grow stronger to protect her back.

Miko as she was at the beggining of the story couldn't provide Ishigami this sort of stability (and that's where Osaragi's "prettier story"/"you weren't there for him" reasoning fails) even if deep down she wanted to, but now after making many mistakes, learning from them and becoming more flexible, she absolutely can. Both Ishigami and Miko have deeply rooted issues that took them more than just each other to flesh out and develop, but they're very much the missing puzzle piece the other needs.

Miko still very much has room for growth as well, mainly concerning finding a middle ground between her "bad girl" and "good girl" personas that Ishigami can easily see through, as demonstrated by the consolation chapter. She tried being "bad", she attempted lying but was still saying half-truths, because her love of justice isn't just out of parental abandonment issues or loneliness - she does believe them sincerely. The moment Ishigami headpated her and shared genuine, spot-on words of concern and admiration (thus a hint of fondness), it was all over for her trying to keep up the love-warfare upper hand.

That's not actually new - Ishigami has always demonstrated he was able to see glimpses of her true self, be it teasing how she's an otaku or a closet pervert and such, he never fully bought the strait-laced image she aspired to make real. But it did take him being around her more to see she could be sweet to him and as he puts it, that smiling more is not a bad look on her. Miko says to Osaragi your true self only comes through interacting with others, so given how lonely she has always been (and how the one person close to her - Osaragi - was actually keeping things between them superficial because of her own problems), it's no surprise she's only finding out now who she is. Ishigami can help Miko find a better compromise of good/bad after both not following any rules at all for so long and recently learning that hard work can pay off. Miko immersing herself in his hobby will clash with her rigid study schedule sooner or later, and he'll know how to help her with that better than anyone else.

On the other hand, Ishigami's moral compass, romanticism (love for flowers, planing dates etc) and idealism aren't things he is proud of...yet. He protects himself with layers of cynism, especially in his first appearances, but he is always being contradictory and letting it slip how idealistic/pure he is at heart. He also is only now learning to like his outward image with things like fitness/studying and finding out it's not like he never cared about it - it's just that he was scared shitless of failure, thus never even tried hard in the first place to avoid being hurt. And as I have advocated for in the Sutera post, I expect Miko in some level to help him come to terms with seeing good in himself. Heck, even being able to game with her now and showing off how good he is and having her appreciate it is gonna do wonders to make him feel more "adequate". Tsubame's arc had a lot of him changing himself to become "better", but Miko on the other hand is trying to put herself in HIS shoes to maybe go "hey, I like you as you are. I'm trying to understand you more and put effort in for you".

Ishigami and Miko start out watching out for each other behind their backs - which instead of helping their relationship, drives them further apart because they think the other side is showing no appreciation. As the story progresses, they're slowly learning to make each other more aware of their support, and it is making them open up more in general.

They have a strong belief the other wants to be rescued and there is truth in that. Both want help and to be recognized for their efforts, but won't cry out for it. In the unplugged earbuds chapter Ishigami takes it upon himself to protect Miko's reputation in spite of himself, the election arc has him actually putting effort into the campaign just for the sake of protecting her and at first posing as a rival of hers to Shirogane only to reveal he's trying to "make Miko smile", he is constantly fending off men from interacting with her as protection (while also sounding jealous), he was way more protective of her when she was wearing that cast than needed and is now being able to openly headpat her and sounds almost like her "soothing sounds" from the days of yore lol Sure Tsubame seems like his start to becoming "a better man", but all the way back on the election, it was for Miko's sake that we first SEE him putting effort into *anything* without being coerced by anyone to take action.

And while it's more discreet compared to Ishigami's "white knight" attitude, Miko also tries hard to protect him - cheering him on during the sports festival race and wanting to console him before the stuco intervened, telling him he should study (but he thinks it's just nagging), christmas (which I'll elaborate bellow), making sure he was able to graduate middle school by actually confronting school staff and, of course, their very first meeting as recently revealed.

Many people hated the entirety of Osaragi's arc, but 232 gave very juicy info indeed. Ishigami's reason for supporting Miko from the shadows comes from admiration AND part gratitude for her attempting to talk to him and listen to what troubles him, and seeing they actually had a "falling out" argument was game changing.

He looks sad and troubled to have shut her down there, not simply angry, and so does she (there's tears in her eyes when her face is shown in the next page) - despite her black and white sense of justice at this point of the story, she still wanted to listen to him. And even after that outburst she still believed the rumors weren't real, unlike Osaragi sees it - otherwise she wouldn't have made the effort for him to be able to move on to high school. Why would she care, if she truly hated him and thought he was in the wrong?

If any further proof was needed at all that this info is important, I'm happy to say we have more. I noticed the Christmas stairs scene mirrors this exact falling out moment: "Go away"/"Suit yourself"

But this time Miko had already decided to change, had already seen the mess their relationship became the last time she did not reach out to him and thus already had their previous falling out in mind - meaning she decides to chase after him.

I don't like how the scanlations handled this scene because reading the japanese raws, my interpretation was that Miko was sounding "annoying" because she was still kinda drunk/unfiltered and freaking out when talking to Ishigami, not outright berating him like the Jaimini's box translation made it look like. She also sounds too angry after the fall, so I generally thought Viz's version (the panel shown above) was closer to the original.

"I always have to take care of you! You keep putting youself in danger. You can't make it on your own." is a better translation than Jaimini's, and also parallels better what Ishigami is often telling Miko as well (That she keeps putting herself in danger and that he has to be around to keep her in check). But with 232 in mind, I think it misses a nuance of the original line: "ほんとあんたは私が居ないと危なっかしく駄目ね" - "Honto anta wa watashi ga inaito abunakkashiku dame ne" - while I'm a novice at japanese studies, gathering from what I can read and trying to get a feel of the whole sentence, it's closer to "So it really is dangerous to you if I'm not there/ It's no good if I'm not around you". You can take that as her being full of herself, which is the route Jaimini's goes ("You'd be screwed without me") but that's too hostile - Viz's got the spirit of wanting to protect him better, but the original has an implication that she has "tested not being there"/failed being there before (due to not fully siding with him in middle school) that's absent elsewhere.

IMO the reason Ishigami's "closed his eyes" arc is not over yet is because he hasn't accepted or gotten over or fully learned from his past yet, he simply shut it down. That's why briefly during the sports festival his eyes are in plain view, then go back to their usual for the balloon gag. I'm not sure if Ootomo herself will make a comeback, may or may not - regrets are regrets and sometimes the only solution to them is letting them stay in the past. But the topic of how he saw Miko in middle school and the letter certainly are being set up to still show up in the story.

If I compare him to Miyamura again, he'd still be at the point before Miyamura's haircut - not wanting to face the parts of himself he doesn't like, not quite ready to change. Not quite ready to patch up his own wounds yet and instead silencing everything from his past.

In this sense, Miko does wonders to make him feel more confident even if he hasn't realized it yet, and she's always dropping little hints she'd like him to worry about his future not in a naggy way, but because she genuinely prays for his success. He unconsciously wants Miko to think well of him and it fills him with confidence and a more prideful image of himself he doesn't really display to anyone else, not even Tsubame - like his usages of "ore" (a more manly/confident way of addressing himself) around her (AND HER ALONE):

( I don't like the available translations to the staircase scene either, lol. Zaibatsu has conveyed the tone of the second scene up there perfectly. For the staircase line, I've seen "I'll be there to catch you" and "I'll save you" which are contextually correct, but to me the original "俺が絶対守る" - "I (ore) will absolutely protect you" carries a much more romantic nuance or ambiguity, regardless of him realizing it at that point. It's like, the title to one of the most romantic moments/songs in the CCS Clear card anime ost, for instance. OF COURSE MIKO LOVES HIM. The narrator doesn't overexplain or take apart Ishimiko's interactions like for Prezguya, but all the evidence needed is there. And I gotta add the very next chapter to the staircase one is the "eternal love" x "real love" I'm super fond of that says fate is irrelevant and to find real love you must use your head to realize/understand things, so makes the romantic subtext even greater.)

This whole affair is also making me open my eyes that I should try to study japanese more...of course I'm happy to have translations and scanlators working hard, but there is something inherently lost in adaptations because it robs you of connecting with the author's intentions unless it was the author who wrote the translation in the first place

Thinking back on Ishigami's early "i wanna die/i'm going home/don't look at me" role, it seems unbelievable we're at the point he's now able to directly confront a "stranger" (lololol) or make serious promises with so much confidence.

PLEASE DON'T END SO SOON MANGA, I NEED MORE.

( off-topic kind of, but i'm lazy to make a separate post just for it: Since I mentioned things lost in translation, I saw something on Discord about Ishigami having an unreliable narrator moment in the "compliments" chapter/Iino Miko cannot love part 4 and holy molly, it is true. He first says something akin to "You're just too beautiful" out of context, Miko HEARS IT - and that's why she looks so shocked before asking for clarification - and he DID SAY IT in the speech bubble, but after she's nice to him and he thinks back to what he said he adds a "Your handwriting is just too beautiful" to his flashback. I'm ONTO HIM. ONTO HIM I SAY. It is what he meant, but it's like his mouth betrayed him. Whether it's unconscious or denial...it totally is something. The scanlation completely skips this and had the same line both times it's mentioned.)

#kaguya-sama #kaguya-sama spoilers #meta #ishigami yu #yu ishigami #ishimiko #it's ishigami focused but i'd be a dirty liar to say i'm not at least a lil bit biased #longpost #spoilers #yes i am an overthinker and overanalyzer did u notice #horimiya spoilers #yeah i kinda mentioned miyamura lol #i'm not even procrastinating anything this time i just rly care for them #kaguya-sama meta #this is a clown here that procrastinated 3 months to write a thesis but is churning out meta after meta for manga #plz forgive typos i'm still lazy to spellcheck this one lol #ishiino #ishigami using ore again to invite miko to the dance makes this post qualify for fridge brilliance now

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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years ago

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The Idiot ~ Fyodor Dostoevsky

In which the reader is the last Russian princess from our contemporary times and Fyodor is there to watch, observe, analyse and write a novel while being the reader’s sort of guardian/mentor, all while reader finds herself in an impossible, almost-Anna Karenina-like situation that drives her to desperate decisions.

And yes, I’m very much basing this story Dostoevsky’s “The Idiot” novel, Tolstyi’s “Anna Karenina” and Katyusha, both the Russian song, and the “Resurrection” novel from Tolstoy that has Katyusha as an unfortunate, yet important character.

Also, a little nod to our dear Ana Lesko for her song “Anicyka Maya”, which will serve as a cute little nickname for our dear reader, although the song is Romanian, and it’s about a seductive woman.

Other nicknames will include: Kiska ( kitten ), Zaika ( bunny ), Kroshka ( little one ), Krasotka ( gorgeous ).

I’m not Russian, I don’t know about Russia’s culture, history and language as much as I know about my own, obviously, but as ex-commie & ex-USSR, we still have a shit ton of similarities. Nevertheless, I will try not to get into too many details that will compromise authenticity.

Luxury, glamour, wealth, gold, jewellery, diamonds, class, facades, masks, masquerades, social gatherings, lies, marriages, politics, horses, deals, gambling... These represent some of the few words people from everywhere around would describe the royal family.

Why do some still exist, anyway? Shouldn’t they have just completely disappeared at the same time with the Romanov family? ...Stupid cartoon movies and their resurrection of Anastasia...

Nobody truly cares about these rich rats who worked naught for their wealth, and would never understand the struggle and poverty of the normal citizens of Russia...They just live in their abnormally huge palace, having more servants than the population of Moscow and eat at one meal more than normal people do in one week altogether.

How utterly ridiculous.

Their lives are all perfect, they marry themselves to keep that ridiculous purity and their infinite wealth in the family...How atrocious! What about charity? Kindness? Altruism? Helping out the common folk?

All these thoughts, and you’d think a very bitter and vindictive, very poor and malicious person came up with, and yet, the reality was rather distorted.

From the top stair of the palace, in a dark room, sitting on the windowpane, a gorgeous young woman cast her dull eyes over the snowy city and the people hurrying down the roads, hoping to go home before it got too late and cold.

Maybe they were poor and hateful, and rightfully so, she’d say, but perhaps they can also be deemed happier, if they can take into account their freedom...As much as the government provides them, at least - Yet even so, even the poorest person held more freedom than this caged bird, forever trapped and shackled by fate from the second she was born...As if she had any choice, that is.

Perhaps she deserves this treatment, this hatred, this...Manipulation from her own family, who only see her as a political and financial pawn, planning her marriage from the second she first cried into this world... Like a martyr, she will accept all torture and live on, never knowing what ‘living’ truly means, only imagining it by reading all day and all night long, or when she plays the piano one of the many songs she learnt.

As the grandfather clock rang to 7 times to announce dinner time, Y/N dressed in a simple, yet elegant dress, put on a pair of classy black stiletto shoes, and went down to the luxurious dining room, sitting in her usual seat, only for a brunet stranger dressed in white to grace the sight with his unexpected presence.

She didn’t dare speak to him, yet her eyes couldn’t leave his form, no matter how her meek demeanour made her hung her head to avoid showing anything other than her demure expression.

Thankfully, her parents arrived, along with the waiters that served the food, so it saved some of the awkwardness of the unknown.

“Y/N, darling, this man here is Fyodor Dostoevsky. He is here as a writer, wanting to learn more about us and about people in general. As a compromise, he agreed to be your personal guard...Considering the other one was a sacrilege to our dear daughter...What a lecherous man, making advances on you...But, anyway, let us toast to the success of this young man’s writing career!” the mother raised her champagne, and the four of them clinked glasses. “I thank you for the unique opportunity to learn and understand society and people better. May you live a long and prosperous life.” this new stranger held a charming smile on his face, trying to impress and buy everyone’s trust. “Do you have yet any idea about the theme of your novel? Or, perhaps an idea for a title?” the father asked, making the brunet shake his head softly. “No, not yet, unfortunately. I prefer to study hard, and only then, when I am educated enough, to allow the flow of creation to take over me.” this Fyodor nodded in acknowledgement, while the girl kept completely silent for the duration of the dinner, waiting for everything to be over so she could escape back to the little faux haven she created and called ‘safe’. “Y/N, show Mr. Fyodor to your room, he will be sleeping there for now on. The butlers already brought a spare bed there, so it’s alright.” the mother waved her hand dismissively, and the girl could only bow quickly and go back to her room, making sure to point out what each of the rooms represent, before reluctantly inviting him to her bedroom. “Please, make yourself at home, Mr. Dostoevsky. I hope it will be comfortable and to your liking. Should you need anything, please do not hesitate to tell me so we can make your stay as great as possible.” she spoke to him in a soft, meek voice, not daring to make eye contact in any way. “Call me Fyodor, no need for formalities. We are going to room together, might as well become friendly. What don’t you tell me about yourself? Your hobbies, your interests, your dreams, your aspirations.” the brunet paced around the room, observing all of her personal objects, which, turned out, except for jewellery, books, a small, pink Gloxinia, and a pickup with 1920s British vinyls, there was nothing to represent her...Which was, in its own way, an intriguing peculiarity. “I...Like reading, flowers, music...And I wish I could get a dog and learn how to play the violin too. There aren’t many interesting things about me...I’m not special or anything out of the ordinary. I am not allowed to put myself out there in any way, so this is the little I could do to express who I am.” so tried to be as vague as possible, fidgeting on her feet uncomfortably, knowing that the punishment for embarrassing the family would be grave, should it be known. “Hmmm...I see, I see...Ah, you’re a Tolstoy reader, I see. Anna Karenina...Very interesting, yet tragic, wouldn’t you say?” he asked, picking up a book that was supposed to be hidden. “N-No! Don’t take that out of there...Nobody can know I have it. I was strictly forbidden from reading it...Please don’t tell anyone I have this book.” the princess snatched the book from his hands, hiding it further back in the bookshelf. “Ohh~? Why would you not be allowed to read a Russian book? You’d think the Russian princess would be urged to read Russian literature.” he stepped in front of her, picking her chin and raising her head slightly to allow him to look deep into her fawn-like eyes. “Because of the ending...And the controversial decisions Anna made, some of them even contradictory to her own beliefs, and yet, she made her own decisions, at some point in her life. When your fate is decided from before you are born, having opinions is the worst enemy of a puppeteer...Wouldn’t you agree?” she muttered, walking away from him, taking her nightgown and walking towards her bathroom.

This made the man think more about how dysfunctional this supposed perfect royal family actually was. The illusion of a flawless individual, living together, forming a flawless family, a flawless life, in a flawless palace.

Perhaps facades aren’t as obvious to see through, or understand, for while the parents are completely bland...This girl...So much potential locked away in a timid chest of massive oak wood, embellished with overly expensive jewellery, clearly unwanted. She could be a genius, shining in her happiness, glowing like her dazzling smile, and yet, there she is, eclipsed by chaff, when she could be burning brighter than the morning Sun.

Those parents of hers think he wants to be here and get dazzled by the infinite stream of diamonds that keep flowing around the whole place - And yet, perhaps they are the ones living in mental poverty, considering they believe financial wealth and fame is the sole reason for being alive - To uphold a certain kind of status that they worked naught for, but received hereditary, from one lazy deadbeat to yet another generation of useless people for this society.

They truly are like the plague, incredibly rare nowadays, but completely fatal once you fall grasp to their dark claws that drag you to hell to succumb to their completely fictional utopian world that they create only amongst themselves, as if whatever lives beyond these golden walls is putrid and deserves to rot to pieces.

As his mind wandered farther and farther away down the country, snowy roads he created with his own imagination of thoughts, he heard the bathroom door softly open, and the angelic creature garbed in a thin - Possibly silk, snow white nightgown - Stepped back into their now shared room, and just as before, her demeanour resembled that of a small, frightened fawn, or a bunny.

When you have to deal with such a pure being that could completely shatter, it’s difficult not to impulsively break down all walls around and snatch her away - It’s close to impossible not to attempt to test all existing boundaries and see the limits where she would break...Or, almost, at least.

However, abstinence makes for a great suspense and greed...You want more...And more...And the more you wait, the harder it is to resist, but the satisfaction you get when the frail creature trusts you enough to eat from your own palm, and you finally claim it as yours...

It’s Heavenly.

“Sweet Dreams, Fyodor.” she spoke softly, putting on a Tchaikovsky vinyl and picking up a book, getting in bed and reading it, the only light still open being a dim lantern on her nightstand. “How would you like to show me around the city tomorrow?” the brunet asked so casually that it shocked the girl enough to drop her book on her lap. “O-Oh...U-Uhmm...I’m not exactly to go out of this place unless it’s for Christmas shopping...I’m sorry I can’t properly do as you wish...” she quickly took her book back, hiding her face to hide her embarrassment and disappointment. “Well, then, what a gorgeous coincidence, isn’t it? In barely two months, Christmas shall come, and then, you can properly show me around, correct?” the man mused, the ghost of a smirk playing on his face. “..You’re right! My, you’ll get to see the beautiful fairy light and Christmas decorations all around the city! I can’t believe it, you truly chose the perfect time to come here. Oh, and, the ballet, the opera and the national orchestra are going to perform...I believe The Nutcracker is going to play this year...And Traviata. It should be beautiful, don’t you agree?” Y/N asked with a soft smile on her face, sparks gleaming in her eyes, and for the first time since he’s met her, it felt like she was finally alive. “Yes, yes, I would have to agree. And if you are there with me, the experience will be even better.” he hummed, teasing the poor girl who had no idea what else to say to such bold affirmations. “O-Oh...W-Well...Th-Thank you...I-I think...Your presence there will also make the going out more interesting...And nice.” she offered a comeback that pleased the man well enough. “Good night to you as well, Printsessa.”

What a lovely young woman, he thought, as he closed his eyes and let his mind fly at different aspects of life and of humanity, trying to decipher each and every person he met that day and wondering if his assumptions were correct, as they always are.

Morning came by faster than expected as a shy ray of of Sun creeped inside the room through the window, but Fyodor was already awake, writing at the desk rather rapidly - Most likely, he had some inspiration hitting him, so he proceeded to pour out his conflicting thoughts on the paper, all while stealing a peek from time to time at the girl sleeping peacefully, almost as if she was a Disney Princess.

The way the soft light caressed her face had him take the stray streak of h/c hair and pull it back so it won’t tickle her awake, while also being allowed to watch her peacefully inhale and exhale, a small smile on her face...Perhaps she was having a beautiful dream? Was that why she told him to have sweet dreams? Were her dreams her only lovely escape from this horrible reality she was forced to live in?

There were so many mysteries yet to be unveiled, but all in due time, as Fyodor noticed the gentle flutter of her lashes, and with a grace only reserved to a Swan Princess, she raised and stretched with a sweet hum, and the brunet man watched as his eyes felt absolutely blessed seeing such a beauty...

If people complained that Disney Princesses weren’t relatable, since they have messy hair when they wake up, just like Anna, they clearly haven’t seen how perfect Y/N looks, even as she blinks her sleepiness away.

“I see you slept well, Printsessa. Good morning.” she heard him speak, and she noticed it wasn’t as en garde and...It almost seemed...Pleased to see her. “Fyodor...You woke up before me. You should have woke me up. Please wake me up next time, I wouldn’t want you to feel lonely or upset. This place is like a piranha tank...Thread carefully, otherwise, you’re like a little animal who fell in.” she quickly got up, rushing through her daily routine so she could be by his side, not only because her parents assigned her to that, but also because this Dostoevsky man is the only little thing that could rip her out of her completely dull routine and show her a little bit of insight into what could be something out of her imagination entirely. “Aww, the little songbird wishes to spend time with me, how adorable. Very well, Printsessa, what is it that you want to do today? My job here is to observe and write, after all.” he asked, crossing one leg over the other, resting his chin on his fist, watching her with intense interest. “Oh, well, I have to practice the piano today, but other than that, I have nothing in my schedule.” she explained, guiding him to the music room that very much resembled a whole orchestra surrounding a place - Not too small, yet not too big either - Meant for ballroom dancing. “I bet the national orchestra isn’t as fancy as this place is.” he mused, walking up to the cello and tracing his fingertips across the chords. “...Do you know how to play it?” she asked, walking up to him, having the curiosity of a baby fawn exploring the world. “Would you like to hear?” he asked, sitting on the chair and expertly hugging the cello, he grabbed the bow and teased the girl with a mischievous look in his gleaming purple eyes. “Oh, yes, please, if it’s not too much to ask! It would be absolutely splendid.” Y/N clasped her hands together, grinning widely as she stepped a few feet away to give him enough space so he could start playing. “It would be my pleasure, Printsessa.” and with the nod of his head, he started playing the famous Sugar plum fairy song, making the girl gasp in surprise at how gorgeous it sounded.

She crouched to reach the perfect eye view of the bow gliding along the chords, her mouth slightly agape and she gazed with absolute wonder, not even realising when the song was over, for she was much too mesmerised.

“Well, Printsessa, how did you like it?” he rested his arms on the curves of the cello, leaning forwards for a better look at her. “That was better than even our national cello player! It was absolutely stunning, woaw...Just...You left me speechless! You’re...You’re...You are...Perfectly splendid!” she clapped for him rapidly and incredibly enthusiastic, making him chuckle in amusement at her cuteness. “Why, thank you, Printsessa. How about you entertain me now, little Anicyka Maya?” he carefully put the Cello in its place, stepping in front of her and caressing her porcelain skin, quenching his thirst for discovery by seeing her rosy cheeks. “Well...I can’t say I’m anywhere as great as you are...But, sure. I hope you will like it.” she looked down, fidgeting with her fingers as she hurried timidly to the piano, and taking a deep breath, cracking her fingers, she liter her fingers skillfully dance over the keys, as her voice followed every word of the song called “Katyusha”. However, she wasn’t expecting him to applaud and whistle to her, congratulating her for being such a beautiful nightingale. “You clearly underestimate your hard work and talent. Perhaps we should play together one day. I’m sure it would put a smile on your parents’ faces.” Fyodor bowed to kiss Y/N’s hand, only to hear the door opening. “Yes, Mr. Fyodor, we would quite like to hear the two of you dueting together. Since Y/N will have to perform both dance and a song at the piano, as a Christmas tradition, it will show how much she’s improved...If at all. I have to tell you the truth, Mr. Fyodor, over the past few years, she has been exceptionally disappointing...Well, perhaps you coming here will prove to give her a jolt in the right direction.” Y/N’s mother came out of nowhere in the music room, almost as if she was stalking the pair, and Fyodor could see how the Princess’ behaviour changed 180 degrees, and from the excitable and lively young girl, she went back to hide in her guarded shell, trying to protect herself from the numerous blows everyone throws her way.

And just as he expected, once they started playing, despite throwing in one or two intentional mistakes, while she had none of her own, the mother reprimanded her daughter, while praising him. He thought, at first, this was going to be some kind of tough love encouragement and determination she was trying to give the girl, but truly, it was nothing more than unrealistic dreams of an already flawless performance.

This family was nowhere close to being the perfect, or the most loving one, that was without a doubt. But being so horrible to your own daughter, humiliating her in front of a complete stranger, making her tremble softly while trying her best to keep herself from bursting into sobbing fits, was a whole different kind of cruel and unnecessary malice.

For some reason, Fyodor felt a certain kind of warmth in his chest...But not the same kind of warmth he feels when he is around Y/N, but something...Similar to fury. To rage. He was sure he never felt such a personal sort of offense, despite not being him that was belittled.

A terrifying sort of justice bubbled inside him, and he smirked, thinking about just one sole thing.

Crime and Punishment.

Fyodor hoped dearly that it would be only the maternal figure that was the problem, yet it seemed to be much worse, and the toxicity levels that kept vibing all over the place seemed to be equivalent to that of Chernobyl at the time of the explosion.

All throughout the week, he noticed the dirty looks all the staff was giving the Princess, possibly because she was being a shy and quiet pushover...But it went completely beyond his understanding how these servants would even dare be so rude to her, considering she is always so sweet to them, always forgives their mistakes and shares her whole allowance with them in equal parts...

But they complain it’s not enough. They complain others get more, or less, but clearly, they don’t care about that, they just want more and more money...They are greedy jackals who don’t care about the life or soul of a poor little lady who just wants to be happy...

But perhaps happiness isn’t meant for royalty.

A week until Christmas, and Fyodor was ready with the quick draft, and he left it on the desk for Y/N to read, and he couldn’t help but admire and drink in each and every emotion she would express on her lovely face with every word she read, every action, every chapter that stirred more and more conflicting feelings and thoughts battling together - Conflicts that she was trying so hard to hide, no doubt feeling his burning, hawk-like stare on her, analysing her as if she was a new specimen under a microscope.

She was great at hiding what she truly felt, yet her eyes betrayed her inner self, the sparkling of nostalgia and sadness crawling out, shrieking at the top of her lungs to be discovered and taken out of this well of darkness she was drowning in - She wanted to be saved, she was at her breaking point, and clearly, she was afraid.

Afraid of life. Afraid of people. Afraid of her family. Afraid of this society. Afraid her own self. Afraid of her actions.

And most of all.

She was afraid of spiritual, mental and emotional imprisonment.

As Christmas approached with rapid footsteps, Fyodor could notice how Y/N stiffer, more silent, flinching more, keeping herself in check, alone, barely speaking to anyone...Clearly, she was being stressed out and afraid of the consequences of screwing up anything.

Perhaps, the problem here was the fatalist and completely out of her control destiny she was thrown in, and she knew from the very beginning that, no matter how flawless her performance was, she would still be reprimanded and punished, so she resigned herself to this kind of treatment...The same as every year.

“It’s so beautiful outside...And it’s snowing...! So soft and cold...It’s almost numbing you entirely, but the beauty of Christmas still melts down even the most frozen of hearts.” she spoke with such sadness dripping from her tongue, that Fyodor felt the need to take his fur hat and put it on her head before taking a hold of both of her hands, rubbing them together and kissing her knuckles. “It’s not the day or the decorations that are supposed to move a person, but the kindness and altruism of people. From what I’ve seen in the past weeks, the only consistency in this place is the beauty of your heart and the cruelty of everyone else that keep eclipsing you. You deserve better than this, kroshka.” the man spoke simply, waiting to see the way she’d react. “...I didn’t choose this life, nor did it choose me, yet here I am, trying to keep my head above the water in a whirlpool. I have all my life planned and written ahead of me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. From the very beginning, since before I was even born, they knew they will sell me out to some old, rich man, just so they could benefit, but they cared naught about my well-being, as long as I could keep him entertained in any way possible. The least I can do is try to enjoy the little things...Even if they are nothing more than just that...Little things.” she admits to him, taking away her hands and holding them to her chest, too afraid to trust her own heart. “You let the servants make a mockery out of your kindness. You let your family humiliate you in front of everyone. You let common folk bash you, even if you tip them greatly...Tell me, krasotka, have you read the draft to my book yet?” they continued to stroll down the cobbled streets, looking up at the snowflakes gently dancing in the light of the lamposts, as Fyodor carried most of her shopping bags that held Christmas gifts for everyone but herself. “Yes...I did...But I did not finish it. I was much too afraid to read the ending of it.” she nodded to him, biting her lip nervously. “Afraid? Why ever would you be afraid of reading some words made of ink on a piece of paper?” the man frowned in confusion and interest, hearing such a peculiarity of an answer. “Because...Because I know that Prince Myshkin actually represents me...And how life treats me...So I’m afraid the ending will hint to Anna Karenina’s ending...And I don’t want that. I don’t...That’s why I’m afraid...I’m scared that...I’m scared that I won’t be able to endure this madness anymore, and sooner, rather than later, I will shatter into an unrecognisable version of myself that not even I will decipher...And I will do scary things that I would otherwise be afraid of even thinking about. You know I read the book, I wouldn’t put it past you to tease me like that.” she smiled ironically, shaking her head to stop herself from shuddering at such a dreadful thought. “Congratulations, Printsessa, you are surely insightful. However, I must advise you to read it, and keep in mind that you are not entirely wrong in your thinking. While the ending isn’t identical to Tolstoy’s novel, it isn’t on the complete opposite spectrum either. What you read is one of the possible outcomes of your life, should you choose to remain a passive onlooker and let everyone control you, like a little, pretty doll. Should you, however, choose to take fate into your own hands and finally make your first choice of your life...I can promise you, you are going to be much happier.” Fyodor kissed her forehead before leading her back to the palace so she could take the day off...For tomorrow, she must perform.

But the author wasn’t lying, Y/N realised as she spent the last hours past curfew to finish the book, and she realised that while Myshkin didn’t kill himself, he was still dead inside, and just like the catatonic state he was stuck into, she has been living a life of complete comatose herself. Fyodor was right all along - A life without choices is not a life, nor is it one without freedom and happiness - And maybe, for the first time in her life, she would make the most difficult decision the universe threw at her, and that was to choose between Duty and Happiness, something every royal member, especially women all over the world, who were seen as nothing more than political and decorative objects meant to create heirs and nothing more, had to pick, and dutifully chose to sacrifice themselves to keep the family and the nobility going.

But not anymore....

“You look beautiful today, my little zaika. This velvet colour of your dress, the way it highlights you stunning silhouette...And this jewellery...And your hair and make up...You are above and beyond the most beautiful person to ever grace this life. How are you going to enchant us today?” Fyodor pat down his white suit so he would look completely impeccable...Or, perfectly splendid, as Y/N would say. “Does it truly matter, in the end? Nobody but you will pay attention, and at the end of the day, I will only hear critiques. It’s the same every year, so there is no point in bothering to stand out, have any particularity or give a name. It just...Is. So...Let me get this over with so I can go to my room and pretend this day never happened...Again.” she muttered, hooking her arm to his, entering the big ballroom together.

A ton of people were there, not only family, but enough family ‘friends’, all of them incredibly rich, with a combined fortune great enough to buy the whole Russia somehow...And all eyes were on her. She didn’t mind. She was used to the nervousness and the either critical or lustful stares she received - But only during these kinds of events, and because she was a Princess, otherwise nobody would have cared about her existence or her feelings...

Nobody...Except for Fyodor.

Until the time of his arrival, nobody cared about her, nor did they bother trying to understand or talk to her, and yet, here he was, always by her side, and frankly, she fell in love with him. She, for the first time in her life, cared naught about everything surrounding her, and she thought solely about him and their time spent together. That is all that mattered to her.

So, with that in mind, and a warm heart, she performed the Waltz of Flowers flawlessly at the piano, along with a few other songs, adding some festive ones. Fyodor was absolutely captivated by the spells she put on people whenever she radiated with such pure gentleness, just like Christmas’ true angel.

Her fingers glided so gracefully over the keys, as she hummed along the music, not even bothering to look at the sheet, for she new everything by heart - But somehow, it all sounded even more magical than before, and nobody could tell why.

But Fyodor knew, and he smiled, figuring out her trick. And he was going to call her out for that when this whole charade was over. But for now, he allowed himself to enjoy bathing in her radiating warmth, for she was shining brighter than the Sun itself.

By the time she finished her little repertoire, she did a pretty courtesy and walked to the man in the white suit, taking a glass of red wine and sipping from it, that gentle smile never leaving her face.

They exchanged no words, but there was no need for that, as the look in their eyes spoke more than anything else, and they danced the night away, together, in graceful and intimate waltzes, or swaying together, keeping their hearts glued together, beating in sync and feeling each other’s heat.

She might not have wanted to end up like Karenina, but she wasn’t too far away from her situation, and she knew very well, should she leave with this man, she was going to break down every rule, and find an identity for herself, after all these years.

But happiness is emphemeral in the life of a Princess, and just before the Christmas Ball ended, her parents dragged her to the table of this old man, so they would share gifts. This old man, who so happened to be the man chosen to be her future husband, and had fewer hairs on his head and teeth in his mouth than her age.

Most of the gifts were pretty basic - Jewellery for women, cigars, fedoras, watches for men...But for her...She received some of he oddest gifts so far - And yet, she thought life couldn’t surprise her anymore.

Several little outfits, fit for babies, were neatly folded in all boxes, sans one - The sole box being a small, velvet box, which revealed a sapphire ring that expressed the definite bond of marriage that must be officiated very soon, through papers and a church ceremony.

Frozen was the clock, frozen was the time, and frozen was life itself, for the shock was great - Being put on the spot is scarier than the anticipation and fear of venturing into the unknown - Yet here she was, with her supposed fossil of a husband, with several babies promised to be born, and a very angry author, watching the disgusting exchange of pleasantries between the elder people.

He noticed Y/N doing a little courtesy, excusing herself with a nervous smile, and rushing out of the ballroom, the clicks of her elegant heels giving away her location at all time. Following her, he saw her on the edge of the rood, barefoot, her back to the empty space, as she hummed, looking up at the clouds pouring snow, and swaying to her tippy toes occasionally.

“You sure like the feeling of being alive, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t be staying there after being faced with such a disgusting situation.” he pointed out, clasping his hands behind his back and carefully stepped towards her. “Life is full of surprises. But it is not called life, unless you have a say in the paths that you go down by. Today, I realised what I have to do in order to achieve true bliss and happiness...Something ethereal, although utopian in its quintessence. I have to make a choice. And right now, I’m making it.” she smiled, extending her arms to the side, resembling a Goddess, as a few stray tears streamed down her face - But they were tears of relief, not of fear, anxiety of depression. She was happy. “You said you didn’t want to choose the path of Karenina, nor of Myshkin, and yet, there you are, on the brink of death, as the way to show that you are no longer a caged bird. Is it truly worth it, in the end?” Fyodor asked, frowning at the delusional words she was spewing. “Death is but the beginning of a new adventure, and with me falling, I will find out what freedom is, unlike all the other Princesses before me. It is not death I’m choosing, nor will I regret it as soon as I step into this free fall hazard, like Karenina, and, as you can see, I chose to wake up from my catatonic state, unlike Myshkin. I know what awaits me as soon as I reach the ground...But do you?” Y/N hummed in amusement, watching the conflict painted all over his face - And it was for the first time that Fyodor showed such confusion and inner turmoil, that much was obvious to her. “Stop this, Y/N, I don’t understand your reasoning, but don’t kill yourse- “ but he couldn’t finish his sentence, for the girl uttered just a few words - Words that changed even the rotation of the Earth around the Sun - And as she pushed herself on the tips of her toes, she embraced the cold wind of Winter being her guide down to the ground, as she watched the snowflakes following her down.

And she smiled.

Because love won, and life won, and she knew she chose correct - These weren’t the times to choose everyone else over herself anymore, and nor is she a saint, a martyr, an angel, or some perfect Christian role model. She was just a woman thirsting for happiness and for the tangible sensation of life and of flying, and with this jump, she got completely wasted.

The secure embrace of a white angel made sure she lived for another day, but not quite, for her guardian angel jumped to save her, yet had no idea himself that he wasn’t the only special one, after all, and just as they were going to reach the ground, time seemed to stop, and they reached the ground gracefully and softly, like two linked feathers.

She lay down on the crystal blanket of snow, laughing mirthfully, almost with a childlike charm, as her long hair was sprawled all over her, and Fyodor’s arms were fiercely holding her, and he looked down at her, his eyes wide in understanding.

“I didn’t choose death. I chose life. I chose love...I chose you, and I chose me. I knew you had an ability too, and that you were confident in it, so I was sure that, should you choose to, you could jump from the roof of the palace to save me - Which you did. I never really have the opportunity to use my ability, but it’s rather useful in some situations, if I can say so myself. So, by the way you’d respond to my feelings and actions, I’d know whether I chose right or not...I think we both know the answer now, don’t we?” she grinned mischievously, extending a hand to his face to caress it gently. “That’s the most idiotic, most reckless thing anyone has ever one...And yet, you strategised everything, as if we were pieces in a game of chess. How did you get the courage to reach such a conclusion?” his voice was low, like a murmur, trying to understand her impossible, labyrinthine mind. “Life offered me a Christmas gift today, and that was serendipity, so, I used it. Everything else was a perfect strategy of a game of chess I played myself - The White King versus the Black King - And, was far as my luck and the universe brought about, I believe I won. But you must still answer back, otherwise, the magic will vanish.” Fyodor noticed a smirk growing on her face - One that somehow resembled his, and he almost felt conflicted seeing her mimicking him in his demeanour, in a way...But he also felt incredibly proud. “I cannot take you with me, Y/N. The part I walk is dangerous, it could even be fatal, and I would rather you not walk down a boulevard of broken dreams. You just now achieved happiness, don’t throw it out of the window. It a world full of crimes, I choose to be both the justiciar and the executioner of the unworthy. In a world of crime, I shall inflict punishment upon the evil-doers and paint this world red with the blood of the guilty.” he wanted her, he truly didn’t want to leave without her, nor did he want to leave her alone, here, with these hyenas, but could he really have it in his heart to endanger her so? “Fyodor, my darling, it matters naught for me whether I live or die, as long as the journey is by your side, and I’m not shackled anymore. I want to see, I want to hear, I want to touch, I want to taste, I want to smell, I want to learn. Everything. Without exception. There is a whole world out there, open, waiting to be explored and unveiled, and I shall be its explorer. As long as I have you by my side, I will surely be fearless. Being a hero, being a villain, or anything in between is of no concern for me...However, I cannot deny that I would be rather...Interested in seeing you deliver the sentence down to...Some specific people.” she giggled, winking at him, as she obviously hinted towards her kin and the unlimited amount of gossips she has heard about so many people, over the years.

With a wide smirk on his face, Fyodor Dostoevsky helped Princess Y/N on her feet and gave her a passionate, fire-like kiss, before picking her up bridal style and making their way to her room, so she would start packing and leave at the earliest convenience.

There may still be a bit of official work to do at the palace, and as his ability is called, there is no crime without punishment, he was going to make sure of that. Until then, there was one thing certain, and one alone, that was going to guide the both of them to a path of exciting uncertainty and thrill.

“I love you, my dear Y/N.”

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toasty-coconut · 4 years ago

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CHARACTER PROFILE: EMI CAVENDISH

I’ve decided to share the profiles for my two Diakko kiddos that I made a while back. Below is the profile for the younger of the two, Emi! The full profile can be read beneath the cut.

Basic Information

Full Name: Emily Hoshiko Cavendish

Nicknames: Emi, Em

Gender: Female

Date of Birth: March 2nd, 2031

Age: 13

School Team Color: Orange

Aspiration: Become a great broom racer

Horoscope: Pisces

MBTI: ISTP

Loving the rush of adventure, Emi is a natural-born risk-taker and thrill-seeker. She loves the outdoors and will do just about anything for a surge of adrenaline. Being rather reckless, Emi often gets injured during these escapades, but is always quick to shake it off and move onto her next adventure. She is particularly fond of athletics and flying on her broom. She can often be found riding it in places (and at speeds) that she shouldn’t be.

Feeling as though her family’s expectations for her are much lower than the ones they have for her sister, Emi is more of a free spirit. She is very much the type of person to act first and ask questions later—the type of behavior that can often get her caught in sticky situations. However, she’s incredibly bullheaded and hates asking for help or showing any sort of weakness. So whenever she gets herself into problems, she tries to get herself out of them, too.

Emi tends to be a bit of a troublemaker both at home and in school. She loves to pull pranks and jokes on her teachers, peers, and family for her own amusement. Emi hates socializing and has a rather small group of friends. She would rather be out on her own than surrounded by people she doesn’t care about at some party. She has a tendency to be rather loudmouthed, brash, and blunt, which can occasionally come off as her being rude.

Emi often feels as though she’s living in the shadow of giants between Diana being head of the Cavendish family, Akko being a famous performer, and Aya being the incredibly intelligent Cavendish heir apparent. She feels unnoticed or forgotten, and occasionally uses her rebellious behavior to gain attention. She’s more insecure than she wants people to realize, and frequently wonders if she’ll ever be as great as the rest of her family.

Despite her flaws, Emi is actually more kind hearted than she lets on. She keeps the few friends that she has very close, and is loyal to them to a fault. She is very naturally gifted at magic and is actually highly intelligent, but lacks the motivation to do anything with it. She would rather focus on the things that she has fun doing than have her nose stuck in a book.

Appearance

Hair Color: Platinum blonde with tea green highlights.

Hair Texture and Style: Thick waves, on the shorter side. Usually pulled back in a low ponytail.

Eye Color: Periwinkle

Eye Shape: Round

Height: 5’2” (157 cm)

Build: Short and athletic. Well-toned, but with rounder facial features.

Interests and Hobbies

Likes:

Broom flying

Athletics/sports

Exploring/adventure

Pranks/jokes

Risks/thrills

Sour foods

Comedy and action movies

Music (especially rock)

Guitar

Dislikes:

School/books

Sitting around/being bored

Socializing/parties

Romance

Dressing up

Rules

Showing more sensitive emotions

Being called “Emily”

Fears:

Forever living in her family’s shadow

Being seen as a disappointment

Snakes

Relationships

Diana Cavendish: Mother. Although Emi was basically attached to Diana at the hip when she was younger, their relationship has grown more tense as she’s gotten older. Emi has a hard time relating to Diana, and the two often have trouble seeing eye to eye. Diana will be the first person to scold Emi for her reckless behavior out of worry, which only results in Emi biting back and an argument breaking out. Emi worries that Diana views her as a disappointment and a problem child. However, Diana loves Emi far more than she realizes and deep down Emi feels the same.

Atsuko Kagari: Mother. Emi has always had a very close relationship with Akko. Akko is typically the one to defuse fights that Emi gets into with Diana or Aya. Although Emi hates talking about her feelings, she finds it much easier to confide in Akko than she does anyone else. Akko is usually the one to reassure her that she has nothing to worry about and that she and Diana love her and are immensely proud of her. Akko tends to approve of and encourage Emi’s more reckless or dangerous behavior (against Diana’s will), claiming it’s important for her to have fun and try to use it as a learning experience.

Aya Cavendish: Older sister. When they were little, Emi admired and spent a lot of time with her sister. However, as Emi began to realize the expectations that people had of Aya, they began to grow apart. Emi often views Aya as being the “perfect child” or the “favorite child”, even though both facts are entirely untrue. When people aren’t comparing her to her sister, they seem to forget about her existence. As a result, Emi has grown to resent Aya and looks for reasons to pick fights. However, even though she might not show it, there is a part of Emi that still admires how hard Aya works and wishes things could go back to the way they were.

Trivia

- Music is Emi’s guilty pleasure. She loves to blast loud rock music from her bedroom (much to the dismay of most people living in the Cavendish Manor). She is even teaching herself how to play the guitar.

- While Emi has been able to understand Japanese fluently since a young age, she rarely speaks it and can hardly read more than basic hiragana. The only person she’ll occasionally speak Japanese to is Akko. If Aya tries to speak to her in Japanese, she’ll respond in English and call her pretentious.

- Emi is incredibly afraid of snakes—a fear that was brought on by Daryl’s pythons roaming around the manor. She claims that they look at her as though they want her to be their dinner.

- Although Diana was the one to give Emi the name “Emily”, Akko was the one who started calling her “Emi” as a nickname. It eventually stuck. When writing Emi’s nickname in Japanese, Akko uses the kanji “恵美”.

- Emi deeply admires Amanda O’Neil, looking up to her as a role model. This stresses Diana out beyond belief.

- Flying is Emi’s absolute favorite activity and she hopes to one day make a name for herself by becoming a great broom racer.

#diakko #dianakko #little witch academia #lwa #My OCs #again you ask me how these kids exist in the first place #and my only answer is magic #because I got nothing else for you

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago

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JIKOOK:DON'T ASK ME TO STOP LOVING YOU. I WON'T- Jikook Shading eachother pt3

Disclaimer:

Everything expressed in her is my opinion. It is not intended to be malicious or disrespectful to any of the parties here in mentioned. Please don't be weird.

Jeon Jungkook is in love with Park Jimin. Period. If you have doubts, take my word for it. That man heard a bell ring and he's been following that jingle sound till thy kingdom come. Bless him.

No, I am not off track. We are still on the Jikook breakup/fights 2020 train and it's express. Beep beeeeep! Sorry.

Jk loves Jimin and it is the cause of all his woes- with Jimin as well as with the other bandmates. His problem is he loves that man- too much.

Yes, the 2019 November-December tensions with his bandmates was all because he keeps blurring the lines between his relationship and his career. He is lucky, both of them are lucky that they found eachother in a space like this where they have the opportunity to love and still have it all. Trust me, it's rare.

Except JK didn't join BTS to pursue a career. Bless him. He went there to harvest him some sweet love. Lol. Jokes aside, Jk when he started out had no goals, no ambitions whatsoever. He was young. He was just following the path set out for him by his parents perhaps, his teachers- and also he thought Namjoon's thighs were hella delicious. Lol

He has had to grow to love and appreciate his craft and career just as he's said in the recent Japan comeback interviews. He even almost quit singing to go be a dancer and all it took was Jimin telling him he had an amazing voice for him to stay- the power of park Jimin!

That's how young and naive he was when he began his career path. Let's get a bit deep and psychoanalyze him real quick. He made an entire life decision to join a boyband for seven years not because he loved to sing and dance but because he admired the zeal od RM?

Then when layer he was exposed to dance, and had to make an equally important life decision, he allowed another bandmate(Jimin) to make that decision for him. This should tell you the state of his mind as at the time. He was young and impressionable with no aspirations of his own.

Even as of 2019, he said he had no idea what he was going to do with his life after BTS had the band disbanded in 2018. That's a lot of experience span to not know what he wants to do with his life.

Now I don't mean to say he is immature but we all know the members especially Jimin have pointed out time and again that JK is in fact immature or can be.....

He seems to me as the type who still have a lot to figure out and per his recent interviews where he's talked about taking time to himself to work on himself and his hobbies etc. I have a feeling 2020 has been a period of awakening for him. A period where he is self actualizing a lot and I'm happy for him.

But it is what is causing this age of enlightenment in his life that has me curious.

Moving on, this young, naive, impressionable JK as he was in the early days of BTS started developed feelings for his hyung. Do you see the problem? I'll wait....

These feelings, I assume, began as pure admiration and fondness of Jimin. Jimin was this talented and hardworking, spontaneous, energetic hyung and JK with an impressionable mind as his was was bedazzled by him.

Soon these feelings would morph into what could be seen as an obsession, infatuation and then finally love.

The way I see it, loving Jimin gave him purpose for the first time in his young life. He may not have known much about his life goals and ambitions but he knew being with Jimin gave him a solid ground to stand on, a new sense of direction, certainty and purpose.

He got to share in Jimin's passions, share his with him, dance together, sing, practice, rehearse, make him the subject of his photography, the subject of his attention, care for him, be cared for by him- something he hadn't had the chance to experience from home before he was yanked away into idol life.

Growing up, we all experience that moment where we imprint on friends and relatives. My uncle was my mentor as well as my elder brother too. I admired them so much I sometimes confused that with romantic love till I got socialized properly.

Jk's socialization was.... He....

-Jk may be an introvert but he thrives and shines best when he partners up or is in a group like BTS or his friends group etc and Jimin i feel was the ideal partner for him; his queerness, his adventurousness, pushing JK's boundaries, challenging his beliefs, showing him how to have a good time- ok I really want this Jimin back! Like right now!

Jimin left an impression on JK's young mind. He imprinted on him. And for the longest time, we've seen the way he stares at Jimin.JK really loves Jimin.

So what's the problem?? Loving JM is consuming his mind y'all. It's all he thinks off. All he cares of. He seems super hyper focused on Jimin so much so that it is affecting the dynamics of their group.

His jealousy,possessiveness- He knows he has to keep his relationship a secret for the sake of the group because it is their secret too and yet he just can't help himself.

I feel RM and the others complain a lot about how he let's his jealousy get the best of him. Like how he almost exposed JM as his boyfriend on several occasions verbally( see previous post for further details)

Like how him getting jealous and possessive gives them away more often. I mean JM is bad at hiding it too but let's be honest JK isn't winning any awards with that bad acting. *sigh. He is hopeless.

But yes this is what led to the MMA standoff with RM. It is also the reason for the tensions between Jikook during Jin's birthday VLive (JM asked him to keep his distance because the members had tried to separate them earlier and so JM was just being salty af during this period. It had nothing to do with JK but the others. See Golden Disc and you'll understand)

This also led to their subsequent break up( which you will notice during the comeback interviews and promotions periods- I don't know about you but they were giving off two exes tryna to keep it happy for the cameras during that period but failed cos their interaction were just....)

PS: there are a lot of moments I want to point out but don't know where to begin cos there are a lot.

The blackswan behind scenes moments( JM asking JK if he he wanted to be in a subunit with someone else, JM making JK jealous during the interviews, JK using Tae to make JM jealous the next day, JK holding JMs hands not wanting to let go- he was missing his ex. Lol it's what you do when you have to be friends with that ex you still love and won't hesitate to touch them given the slightest opportunity and once you do you don'twanna let go)

Just look at that whole On comeback promotion moments. You'll understand what I mean.

Also the Run episode moments- you know the one JK almost beat Suga up with the frying pan- JM for this phase seemed to be to be trying to get back together with JK. Dude was clingy as fuck! And for once he was on his best behaviour, trying his hardest not to make JK jealous. I mean the Run behind scenes moment where JM was helping Tae clean off food residue on his mouth but stopped immediately when JK lifted his head. *insert skull head emoji. Lol

To say JM was a bit clingy during this getting back together phase would be an understatement. Remember his clingy moments during Suga's birthday Vlive 2020? And during Festa too? He was trying to get JK's attention and also impress him throughout.

Around this breakup moment too was when he was spending a lot of time with Tae playing video games with Army, posting their selfies at 4 AM and what not. It is also the same period he posted a picture of himself with his dogs on Twitter and said he was trying to spend time with loved ones- if that wasn't shade to JK!

They couldn't post 13th May because of these issues they were having. Not that JM didn't try though. He posted on the 1st, JK should have followed with 3rd but did was busy pouting somewhere. JM still gave us a 5/8=13 selca though so yaay!

What I'm trying to say is, their fight has been about JK not wanting to be separated from JM and JM asking JK to cool it off for a while to not cause trouble with the members and the company.

To which Jk responds with:

1. Interrupting JM's call with Jin during his VLive to ask him on a date and say I love you to him. Dude is a rebel, I don't know what you want me to say. He is not gonna cool it just because it makes the other worried he is exposing them too much.

Jk interrupting JMs live I feel got Jikook in trouble because after that Vlive JM never did a solo live on VLive again to this day. His subsequent lives have all been on YouTube.

I have a feeling he was penalized because that VLive exposed them. And no, I'm not being delusional. Jikook were both banned from doing a VLive together alone following their New Jersey VLIVE in 2019 when they- I don't even know how to describe what they did in that live!

And to make it less obvious, I think BigHit decided the others should stop doing solo Vlives on VLive altogether because now they all do their solo lives on YouTube as well and if they have to do a Vlive it is heavily monitored by BigHit staff or its radio and not done in their rooms too.

So I think Jimin got pissed at JK for doing that and getting them in trouble again. I mean if you heard him sigh during the new Jersey VLive you would know how frustrated JK makes him. He loves him too but.... Jk can be a bit too much ya know?!

Anyhoo, so I believe JM called for some space and told JK to take up interests in other things beside him and I don't know how JK took it but he responded with this:

Posting the cover of the song Not Never. Which was him basically saying for as long as he lives he will not never think about JM. As in he is never not ever keeping away from JM. We might have to pry Jimin from his cold hands! *sigh

Which leads to the radio Vlives moments,

Something Jimin said during his interview with suga caught my attention. He said it was nice that they get to speak with Armies at least like this. I believe all these were putting a lot of stress on Jimin as he has decided to take a break off social media prior to him saying so on this interview. But the wording of that statement also made be believe some thing or someone was preventing him from talking to Armies in the usual manner.

Earlier with RM he had said how he would go crazy if they weren't allowed to do certain things he was used to doing on stage as well. So that also raised a flag to me.

I had a feeling Suga had invited JM on that Radio live to address his 'issues'- including his issues with JK. Jikook have a subtle way of communicating with each other and somehow social media has a huge part in that. They not the only ones, Beyonce and JayZ also addressed their relationship issues through their music, going back and forth yet they lived together. I DONT UNDERSTAND THESE CELEBRITIES!!!

Sorry for the rant. Anyway I had a feeling JK was listening to the radio interview too.

Suga asked JM why he didn't come to his music video set to support him- which I believe he was referring to his Daechwita shoot. JM didn't go because, take a guess...

JK was there too. Lol. He had gone with Jin and even ended up filming a part in the music video. My guess is Jk thought Jimin was gonna be there because he always go to Support Suga and the others in times like that.

So Jimin responds with 'were you expecting me? .... I didn't come because I want you to want me more.' Now that's an absolutely random response don't you think? He couldhave said something logical like he had to record at a studio or something- unless he wasn't talking about Suga but was sending that message to someone else who was listening in. A certain man with a JM tatto ring on his ring finger perhaps??

JM from this response revealed he intentionally missed that shoot. He knew JK would be there and he wanted him to ask where JM was at it he wasn't at the shoot. It's also interesting how during this period JK was spending a lot of time with Jin. When he interrupted JM's Vlive call he was with Jin. He went with Jin to Suga's MV and Jin posted a selca of him and shirtless Jk dieimh this period too while JM was mostly seen with Tae. What does this remind you of??

MANILA. same thing happened when they had that Manila fight. Jin was with JM and we all know who was siding with JK!

Why would JM say he wants to be enacted more? Easy- He a slytherin and a Libra and those two mixed together is sinister. Kidding.

I believe JK intentionally took a step back from JM, to give him the space he wanted and it had JM feeling someway about it. Probably had him feeling JK didn't want him as much anymore. Dude is insecure we been known. He a Libra and a slytherin what y'all expect?

So I'm guessing JM put up the classic textbook attitude towards JK which had JK all confused because he had no idea what their issues were anymore or why his boyfriend was spending his nights at Tae. You want space, you got it. Why you mad?

So JK reaches out to Suga for help. because the intention was fix his relationship not have it plummet. Dude is in love with this man and will do whatever it takes to keep his relationship. *Sigh

Suga comes through for him with the interview. And I think JK put two and two together- literally. He comes up with still with you a few days after JM's interview and does a radio interview with Suga as well.

Now the focus of this interview was his "apology to Armies for his scandal.' But funny, cos his scandal happened a month before the interview. Suga radio had been ongoing after the scandal and yet this man didn't think once to come on it and apologize to Armies about an incident that BigHit had already addressed until JMs interview.

You don't talk about scandals. That's the protocol.

Let me also point out JK has had several scandals in the past of which he had never addressed in a Vlive let alone apologize in that way. Not saying he wouldn't, he hasn't. They themselves don't address scandals unofficially, that's the protocol and he knows it.

If they were allowed to think Armies would be more interested in him addressing the Tatoo gurl scandal not his Friday night happy hours with his friends. That apology was for Jimin not armies.

Also, he pointed out how still with you was written when he was alone in the dark thinking by himself. That sounds to me like something you do when you've had a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend and they've packed their things and left your shared apartment.

Interestingly, Jk mentioned during Festa the rain fight. Still with you literally has rain drops sounds in the beginning of the song and also on the cover on sound cloud. Seems to me that whatever happened that night had JK reminiscing about times he'd fought with JM- the rain fight. Which is what inspired still with you (I will do a full analysis of that song and others soon here on my blog'

Yea, so he apologized to JM for their fight I guess and said he loves Army. *smirk.

And things started falling into place right after that. They started- Jikooking again. Jk called JM out on Weverse so they start their online flirting thingy- posting immediately after each other, 13, those kinda things

Things seemed good. Untill their Japan interviews when JK said spending time alone pursuing new hobbies was gold to him and JM saying maintaining his relationships with friends and family is good to him. Seems JK is still salty about JM wanting space. It will take sometime for him to get used to not being around JM 24/7. Know what I mean?

I don't think there was major tension there. Just two lovebirds shading eachother. *smirk I mean the passive aggressiveness of it all. Lol

I have a feeling JK will keep jabbing at JM with that because let's face it, he is the emo one in that relationship and most importantly he loves JM with all his being and wants to be with him always. A partner asking for space can feel like they are pushing you away or rejecting you. It triggers a lot of insecurities so I understand JK in that sense. They are both not wrong in my opinion. Space can be a good thing and hey at least JK got to read a whole book during this time! Who woulda thought!

And quiet honestly, if Jikook are real as I believe they are then these issues they are having pales in comparison to the hurdles that lie ahead of them for when they decide to come out or live as a forever couple.

I guess It is why JK put these lyrics in GCF Helsinki at JMs part:

Why do you spend your time leading the chorus,

When the war was just waiting before us?

As if you didn't know

I guess it's sums up what Jikook were dealing with during that period of you take into consideration the fact this was released end of December/ early 2020.

Jimin pays too much attention to what people thinks of their relationship as if he didn't know what he was getting himself into. ...

This has been a long one, chai! Sorry. I get carried away sometimes talking about Jikook. Lol.

So what is the state of their relationship? They good. I been told y'all JK is trying to bring back their old online filtering habits. He did it on Weverse when he posted about him reading and asking what JM was doing forcing JM to come out with a response.

He did the same yesterday when he posted a cover song after JM posted his selca on Twitter. They good. They more than good I believe. I will keep observing and will update y'all with my observations as and when.

Oh and I will be doing an analysis of his new cover may be later tonight. Until then its Jikook forever bishes! Gang, gang, gang,

I'M OUT!

#kookmin #jikook #nightswithkookmin #jikooktheories #kookmintheories #jikook analysis #kookmin analysis #bts jimin #bts jungkook #jikook fights #jikook scenarios #jikook wallpaper #kookmim #kookmin fights #jimin lockscreens #park jimin #bts fluff #bts angst

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pillowfluffs · 5 years ago

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You Not Wanting Kids | NCT 127

Pairing: NCT 127 X Reader (female)

Genre: fluffyyyy

Author’s Note: Thanks for requesting, anon! Hope this is okay since I’ve never written a reaction with them... This was actually quite hard cause I kept thinking “they would all be chill about it, although some would be more bummed than others...”

Warnings: suggestive with johnny and Jaehyun 👀

Taeil:

Snowflakes slowly fell from the night sky, layering a thick blanket of snow over the buildings, houses, and streets

the weather felt like it was slowly getting worse as it got colder in the night

a few of the members were in their rooms, doing their own things, and a few others were all about, somewhere in the dorms

you were a regular guest in their dorms so there was no surprise on their end if they walked into the living room to find you and taeil together

Taeil and everyone else had to stay indoors to stay safe from a cold spreading around but also the weather

You laid your head on his chest and your body in between his legs with one hand resting on your back while the other was behind his head, propping it up

He put on a romantic movie and cherished this time during the holidays he got off with you

Seeing the kids bounce in joy on the screen sparked a thought in his head

“Do you want kids?” He nudged/ rubbed your back, curious

“Mmm, not really. I can’t really see myself as a mom...” you spoke. “I don’t do well with others being sick or throwing up near or on me.”

It was a thought you had as a kid and it stuck with you as you grew up

You didn’t really want kids

You didn’t want to deal with the financial parts behind it, the late nights where you could barely sleep

Which you heard from your coworkers

It sounded so miserable even though babies were cute

You just didn’t really want to go through it

He nodded, curious about your reasons but didn’t push further

Johnny:

The two of you ordered some take out for dinner

Fine wines to go with them too

The two of you sat at the living room table and just watched whatever was on tv

And then it became more of a question game

You two had been together for a while

A couple months but there were still things about you that Johnny didn’t know about like you not knowing everything about Johnny

Though he was mostly an open book

You asked him some questions

Pretty generic, not too deep just yet

But then as the night went on, the two of you found yourself talking longer about your pasts, the future

Talks about dreams and aspiration, what he wanted to do in life, what you wanted to do

Things he wanted in life, things you wanted

“Do you want kids?”

“Uh, not really?” Your voice went higher as the words fell

You knew for your age, after getting to work, couples your age would usually get married and settle down and have kids

But you honestly didn’t really want any

You’ve heard enough from your family when they asked you if you sre gonna marry soon and settle down

They really wanted grandchildren

Johnny was super chill and accepting of it

I’m sure all of them would be and respect your decision of course

He went on to the next question like nothing because it wasn’t that big of a deal

But he did wink at you

“If you ever change your mind, you know my number ;)”

Yuta:

the music from the stereos echoed around the dance studio as he moved with rhythm

he moved so easily, he was so eye catching with the way he moved

he gave you a smirk or a smile depending on the music playing whenever his eyes met yours through his reflection on the mirror wall

he looked so good

he slid down the wall and plopped down beside you as you handed him a cool water bottle from a little cooler and draped a towel around his shoulders

the two of you had been together for almost a year now and you felt like you needed to say this

“I don’t kids,” you said bluntly

he practically choked on his water since this literally came out of nowhere

“okay?”

“you’re not upset about that?”

“not too much since I have a feeling our kids would be so beautiful, but it’s your body.”

He respected your decision very much

and he still had his intentions on being with you in the future

it was a weight off for you since you knew this was a dealbreaker for your past relationships

they wanted kids and you didn’t and it just didn’t work out

but you met yuta

and in this moment, it felt like a weight was lifted off of you

and maybe just maybe, you would even change your decision

Taeyong:

the sun was shining beautifully

clouds rolled by in the sky as the two of you sat on a blanket, enjoying a picnic together in a public park

there were other couples spread out, doing their own thing

he brought the foods for the two of you while you brought some activities like little games but so far you two had been here all day and the games were over

be brought fruits and veggies with dips, cute little drinks

but he also brought kimbap, mandoo (dumplings), milks and cute sodas

the weather was perfect and so was this date

after playing the games you brought a couple times, the two of you ended up playing this last one you brought

it was a box that you found at the mall that sold party games and such

each person took a turn to draw a card and everyone went around to answer the question on the card

there were cards that asked about favorite foods, books, movies, hobbies

as the sun began to set, the deeper and closer the two of you bonded sharing interests and opinions

then your question came up: do you want kids?

“I would like some, they’re so cute.” Taeyong was amazing with kids. “how about you?”

from what you were able to see when they were teachers for the day

you knew he would make a great father to his kids

other too

but you had your doubts yourself about being a parent.

“I don’t think I would make a good parent so I don’t really want any,” you said to which he nodded

but he also reassured you that from what he knew about your personality, he thought contrary to your belief

Doyoung:

During a road trip, the two of you played a questionnaire game

more or less like 21 questions

as he drove, the two of you took turns asking questions about one another or about anything

you looked through on your phone, struggling to find some yourself yet Doyoung was able to think of so many questions so easily off the top of his head

he wanted you to take you into the country side to take a breather from your busy work and the buzzing city life

the country side was beautiful from all the shows and dramas you watched and he saw the way you were amazed

so today was the day he was bringing you out to spend in the country side for a few days in an airbnb

As he drove on the long, empty road, his question appeared

“Do you want kids?”

“No, not really.”

Doyoung was confused as to why you didn’t want any

he was also pretty bummed because he was a really great family guy

he wanted to start one with you and to have kids of his own that he could raise to be great people in this world

“How come?” he asked, wanting to know more

“I’m not the best with kids... So I don’t really want any of my own.”

His mind was suddenly buzzing with questions and retorts

but he had to filter himself

he knew he couldn’t force you to have kids and also force you to do things you didn’t want to do

but throughout the rest of the car ride, he persisted carefully on this topic as if he was persuading you/ tempting you to change your mind

in the best way possible because he wanted to have kids with you

Jaehyun:

the afternoon sun shone in through the skylight in your bedroom, making everything seem very pretty since your room had a white aesthetic

it was very photo worthy if you had a photoshoot

you slowly woke up as Jaehyun stirred in his sleep beside you, your bare bodies beside each other

clothes discarded on the ground

it was a very.. fun... night in simple terms

Jaehyun took in the lovely sight of your skin exposed in the bright afternoon sun, how ethereal it made you look with your upper half pressed into the mattress and your lower half hidden beneath the blanket

of course he looked the same way from your perspective

his muscles were sculpted and toned very nicely, the sun shining on his body, showing all the shadows in his muscles

He laid with you in his arms, your head rested on his chest as he stroked your hair, tucking strands of your hair behind your ear

thinking about last night’s activities, he thought about the future

and like the hypothetical scenario of you getting pregnant and having kids with you

“what if we had kids?”

“Mmm, why?”

“I was just thinking about last night and like what if we had some?”

“Oh, I don’t really want any,” you said

“Oh, how come,” he asked as he tucked another hair behind your ear. “You would be a great mom. We would be great parents,” he curled his lips, showing off his dimple

“Mmm, maybe, but I just don’t really want any.” You said, pressing your cheek to his chest, drawing light lines on his skin

“Mmhm.”

Jaehyun was kind of bummed since he, like Taeyong, thought kids were adorable and he was actually quite good with them

he hoped in the future, your stance would change and the two of you could perhaps one day start a family together

Winwin:

The room was dark as he laid on his bed as he texted you while it was just morning for you

he guessed you were probably about to start work soon considering the hour it was back home

the two of you talked about random things, mostly about the foods he’s eating, the things he’s seeing

he sent multiple pictures that yuta took for him

he talked about how different things were and how they worked compared to asia

everything felt so different and he really liked it

but he was pretty nervous about the language barrier

eventually, the group at the end of the day played around by the pool at their hotel and yuta and winwin and taeil took some pictures at this little playground for kids

there were a few kids with their families

one family, this teenage daughter recognized the three of them and asked for a picture and he even got a copy of it and sent it to you

it was the three of them, the teenage girl, and her baby brother

“the little boy was so cute” he said with cute emojis

“Do you want kids one day?”

You agreed with him how adorable the kids were but you didn’t really want kids

there wasn’t any particular reason, you didn’t hate or dislike them in any way

you actually did like them

but you just didn’t really want any

when he asked why and you gave him no particular reason, he just went on talking about the trip but it was like a recurring thought for him

he was curious as to why but he wasn’t upset or anything by your decision

Jungwoo:

this mans was your kid

you spent some time with him in his dorm as he was on hiatus

the two of you spent some time in the empty dorms to yourselves

going out for food sometimes but also ordering take out, even making things like ramen with special additions of meat and such

you guys went around town, going to the malls with of course concealing your identities from anyone cough dispatch

you even played a little game where at some point, one would buy something they think the other would like but it has to be a complete surprise

so the two of you had to be sneaky on your own

it was actually pretty fun

the two of you couldn’t decide on just a single thing so it became three things

and then you two would exchange and go over why you picked your things and he picked yours back at the dorms

but also of course there was a price limit so nothing would be too expensive

You picked out a little character dispenser for wipes because you liked how he liked to stay clean, a cute keychain with a cute dog on it that he could also put his ID in, and finally a little snack that he could enjoy later

mans loves to eat

he picked out a little stuffed animal, a little pouch with one of your favorite characters on it, and a little toy that was usually for children but he thought you would like it

you did and it’s the thought that counts

the two of you ended uop laughing over how childlike these items were and out of curiosity, he asked: do you want kids?

“personally, not really. I don’t want to go through that pain and finance in the future.”

He nodded as he listened intently, understanding the financial part but he could only imagine the pain it was for women to have kids

but he did want kids one day though, so this bummed him out only a tad bit, but not entirely

Mark:

Mark was a very very busy person

thanks sm for not letting him rest >:(

so of course this meant he didn’t have too much free time to spend time with you or other friends

even the dreamies who had removed him from their group chats a couple times only to add him back and then this cycle continued

so of course the two days he was finally free from his schedule before he was about to debut again in SuperM, he took the chance to spend time with people

he spent almost all day with the dreamies, drinking bubble tea and sodas with them, playing video games and pubg as a group on their phones

then at night, he spent some time with you after dinner

he picked you up from your house and from there, the two of you just wandered around the neighborhood

he made sure you were safe of course

it had been a spell of time since he was able to formally hang out with you and it was much overdue

he held your hand in his as the two of you walked under the clear night sky, the street illuminated from the bright full moon and the twinkling stars thousands and thousands of miles away

the two of you sat at your elementary school playground, sitting on the aged swings, the same exact ones the two of you used to sit together in as kids

now that you guys were older and you guys had been together for quite some time now, he was curious

“do you want kids?”

“Nope,” you said straight forward, feeling weightless as you said this. “Of course we’re still too young to even think about parenthood but in general, I don’t think I would want any. I for sure don’t want any now.”

he nodded surprised since most girls often talked about finding the right person to get together and have a family with

“Do you want kids?” you asked which made him blush

the thought of having kids was nice but you were right, it was way too early to even think about having kids

maybe one day though

Haechan:

The day was long and hectic for Haechan

he spent his day rehearsing for NCT Dream’s upcoming comeback, practicing the choreo, working out, recording for future events that were unknown

everything felt so busy around him

he needed a breather

so he called you when he finally got the chance

he was one of the few left in the studio and he didnt want to go back just yet

you were at home, taking care of your neighbor’s baby while they were out at a dinner with their coworkers

babies were hard and you learned that it was pretty tough

Haechan facetime called you so you could hold the baby and he could also see them too

when you answered, the first thing he saw was them sitting in your lap

it was so cute, he let out a playful squeal, trying to get the their attention on the phone

but you were about to put them to bed soon so you sat holding your phone in the rocking chair your neighbors had set up in the nursery beside the crib

it was actually very comfortable, it made you yawn which made him yawn

but you seemed so natural despite the messages you sent him throughout the day about the baby doing gross things

“Do you want kids in the future?” he asked out of the blue as you carefully put the cooing baby down into its crib

“after today and how tired I feel, no, not at all.” you spoke softly and laughed as you went back to the rocking chair, making sure it fell asleep before you went back downstairs

“they threw up on me like twice today and im- ugh,” you gagged, making him laugh. “but even in the future, I don’t think so,” to which he nodded as he listened

but he strongly thought you would make such a fun parent like he would

Overall, I think they would, of course, respect your decision since it’s your body.

~~~~~ Masterlist for more! Thank you for reading!

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radiofreeyurick · 3 years ago

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Thus The Man Continues to Fall

By Nick Yurick

20 years after the tragedy that shaped a generation now haunted by final days of the War that was spurred by it, and newly bereft of so many previously held sentiments, causes, or beliefs that felt so vital and true on that day, for many, all that remains is The Falling Man

Any adolescent on the verge of social awareness has to feel it coming. Though some may only be students of history out of obligation at that age, rather than genuine interest or concern, the patterns and shifts begin to take on palpable rhythms of causes and effects, ebbs and flows, and calms preceding storms. The moment when the News becomes a Documentary, replete with imagined underscoring, slow motion, and a dramatic voiceover. The moment when Life becomes History.

At 14 years of age I was already an aspiring multihyphenate. actor, artist, musician, perhaps educator, and on that day, and at this moment it seems, a journalist. Thus it remains a fitting coincidence that for me, Life became History when I was in second period school newspaper class. Much as my grandparents and parents had told me over the years of their “where were you” moments in experiencing the Bombing of Pearl Harbor and the Assassination of John F. Kennedy, mine took place as I struggled to upload photos of the first day of school from an already outdated late ‘90s digital camera. It is perhaps for this reason that, though my life and work since have spanned multiple fields and environments, from stage to screen to the classroom, it is still through the mind of a journalist that I revisit this day every year. Be it with my continued work as a student journalist in the years immediately following or later as one of millions of social media pundits in the years to come, I have felt compelled to revisit the facts of why and how every year. But as the History we’ve lived the past 20 years continues to make those answers more and more evasive, my fascination, and that of many others, has shifted to the actions of a different, and more functional, camera a thousand miles away. The camera held by a Pulitzer Prize winning Associated Press photographer named Richard Drew as he captured The Falling Man.

It is here that I must humble myself a bit, being well aware that the undying fascination with the image of this lone inverted figure has only increased in recent years. In a sardonic act of self-awareness I could just as well title this essay, “This 9/11, if You Read One Unqualified Take on ‘The Falling Man,’ Make it THIS one.” Day to day I am but one of millions who fight for stage and screen time, clicks, words, and any vague measure of digital real estate before taking a break to get back to my woodworking hobby. Thus I only ask that you read on with the knowledge that the History being lived by a 34 year old armchair philosopher as he chain smokes at his Chromebook is as real as the History being lived by the septuagenarian widower in the Oval Office. As it relates to The Falling Man though, for myself and many like me, today The Falling Man is all that remains of that day.

-Trajectories and Arrival Points

In analyzing any historical event, we are drawn to examine it in terms of the trajectory it puts us on and arrival point it leads us to. These consequences often take the forms of calls to action, causes to be taken up, or revelations about American society of the day. In any case, they tell us why the world we fell asleep in that evening, or that many didn’t live to, was different from the world in which we had awakened that morning. Pearl Harbor placed us on the trajectory of entering World War II, drawing the United States and its Allies into a global conflict of unprecedented scale and accelerating the end of the Great Depression, with the arrival point of the Nation’s emergence as a global leader and the establishment of “The American Dream” in the form of a higher standard of living than was previously accessible to many. The Assassination of John F. Kennedy placed us on the trajectory of increased escalation in Vietnam, leading to a new era of social unrest and mistrust in our institutions. Simultaneously the inspiration to carry forth what was considered the late President’s unfinished work, gave birth to heightened social activism and significant leaps forward in Civil Rights and Women’s Rights. This was largely seen through to the arrival points of our withdrawal from Vietnam, the Resignation of Nixon, and the dawn of “Morning in America” with the election of Ronald Reagan in 1980. Although every single historical event echoes eternally, in American Society we are accustomed to some feeling of victory or at least reprieve, as if the demons that emerged from these national tragedies have been temporarily vanquished in our day to day lives while we lick our collective finger to gingerly turn the page on the next chapter.

-The Curtain

It is, at this very moment, 12:26 PM on September the 7, 2021. It occurs to me that to write with such perceived urgency about another September Tuesday a score of years prior will hopefully become as passe and bland as any of the seemingly newfound conspiracies on Kennedy’s Assassination have now become. Yet I continue to do so, because as of now, the aforementioned page has yet to turn. In the previously mentioned epochs, though there were plenty who still saw through the folly of the “American Dream” and the falsehood of “Morning in America,” even an equitable specter to those has yet to emerge. The Election of Barack Obama seemed a fitting placeholder in 2008, but the quick return to the frustrations of petty political gridlock coupled with the now pyrrhic victory we found in the final defeat of Osama bin Laden, made immediately clear that this generation would be visited by no such specter. This absence may on the surface seem a failure on the part of the current proverbial page turners to do so, but is also a result of our increasingly short attention spans having already written so many of the remaining pages that there is no consensus on Which page we may now turn to, but only the widespread certainty that we can’t. Because one thing we have so much more of than those preceding generations, be it the Boomers post Pearl Harbor or the X-ers post Kennedy, is an inescapable curiosity about what may be written on them and more importantly a will to read it. Or in stronger terms, this generation now carries the burden of knowing that which may be on those pages could prove our only salvation, as none other has made itself apparent. Thus if historical events can be seen in terms of a curtain being pulled back and then drawn again while the stage is reset, now the curtain has gone up in flames.

This so-called Curtain can come in the form of where we as a society now place our faith, or more specifically, what entity we trust to lead us to the aforementioned arrival point. With most national tragedies our instinct is to place our trust in our leaders, imploring them to step up when our faith in our own security has crumbled. Alhough with 9/11 we became quickly aware that we lacked an FDR to guide us through the darkness through Fireside Chats, we still entertained the notion that we were to have some faith in the very idea of Leadership itself, however personally distasteful or incompetent we found that Leader to be. By 2004 however, the leadership of George W. Bush had not only failed to bring us a perceptible victory in our immediate cause in Afghanistan, but had begun an entirely new sideshow in Iraq the previous year. This was the beginning of what has fittingly been referred to as “The Forever War,” where battles are not simply initiated by belligerents and ended by victors, but fought on eternally, perverting the traditional goal of final victory as we previously knew it. And if there is an end, it will likely be celebrated by none, if any, who were present when it began. This Forever War began to be seen as such during the Presidency of Barack Obama. While a controversial election in 2000 had already lead many of my generation to view the failed leadership of his predecessor Bush as a clerical error of sorts, we also blamed the misfortune of Our Generation’s Moment having taken place before we had come of age to elect Our Generation’s President. And yet the Page remained unturned. The aforementioned killing of Osama bin Laden did little to quell the Forever War, and domestically we were afforded mere scraps in the form of slightly more accessible healthcare for the few capable of navigating a bureaucratic system now more inconsistent and Byzantine than ever. Meanwhile societal issues such as racial equity and LGBT+ rights only achieved progress as a result of the larger culture elevating them to the status of the baseline right thing to do, but only when it saw fit. All of that being the case, 2016 arrived with an all too ideal stage set for the rise of Donald Trump, or more fittingly the fall of Leadership and the sheer laughibility that it ever represented a concept worthy of a generation’s trust. Even with Trump’s replacement by Joe Biden after the bitterly contested 2020 election, the ensuing Insurrection of January 6, 2021 cemented the new reality: there is now no such thing as Leadership, but only who You choose to believe.

Thus the Man continues to Fall…

-The Meaning of We

Two months prior to this writing, our nation celebrated the 245th year of its independence with the usual bombast we’ve become accustomed to. However each year for many the “bombs bursting in air” referred to in song seem to ring more and more hollow, as does the song itself. The hollowness of these verses seems a far cry from the days of ubiquitous flag waving and the shared sense of national pride we experienced twenty years ago. An outside force having done our country such grievous harm, we were called upon to show that world that We, the victims, truly represented the way of right and justice, while They, the aggressors, were but barbarous heathens, lashing out against the world’s brightest beacon of Freedom. We sought to show that our National identity embodied the supreme ideal of the civilized and just world we should aspire to, and that our way of life, the American Way, was anathema to the ways of those who employed violence and terror as a means to achieve their interests. This has long been what we’ve been taught to believe of our Nation, especially when such destruction has been brought to our shores, as if to say, “We are not like them, We would never do this. We are America, and to be American is to be on the side of Good.” Alas, as the Curtain’s smoldering remnants now hang in tatters, through the lazily wafting smoke we have seen America’s failings writ large in the ashes. Not only those we would previously chalk up to “a different time,” or “another generation,” but those being carried out as we speak. Thus Patriotism, as a concept defined by a faith in the unfailing virtue of one’s country, has experienced a superficial rebirth in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, only to be followed by a slow death in the years since.

It is here that we must revisit those previously mentioned pages in our History which we failed to turn, those unread or forgotten chapters that may not have fit into the collective identity that we wished to cultivate. For the History we once read was often presented to us as in a sanitized narrative, compiled as a companion piece to the definition of Patriotism we were compelled to accept. The heroic vision we once held of America during World War II, as saviors from unprecedented evils on either side of the globe, has now been graffitied over in these pages with stories of her persecution and internment of Japanese-Americans, an injustice not even acknowledged for nearly fifty years after. On other pages, the names of millions of European Jews who were turned away from our shores early in the war, many to their deaths, are now scrawled hastily in desperation, as though hoping that someone, in some distant year, may someday bear witness and validate their humanity as our country, and even one of our most venerated Leaders personally, failed to in their lifetimes. Even still, the pages following the war, heralding the establishment of the American Dream, now contain detailed revelations of redlining, “white flight,” and the practices that excluded People of Color from being included in the idyllic America we were thought to have achieved during this period.

Indeed this alternate chapter continues through the 1960s and to this day, where the America that was thought to have humbly shown remorse and emerged as a global leader in Civil Rights, redressing the atrocities of Slavery and Jim Crow, is seen to have done so with the upmost reluctance. This America instead sought to bolster its image by now phasing out more blatant forms of discrimination in favor of practices more pervasive and insidious. Wage discrimation served to keep People of Color impoverished and desperate, effectively prohibiting them from moving to areas with better access to education and opportunities. With limited access to education, cycles of generational poverty continued this trend. In the face of poverty, those suffering were often forced to turn to the drug trade or other forms of criminal enterprise as a means of achieving even a glimmer of the prosperity that was supposed to define this chapter in American History or even to sustain the very lives of themselves and their families. And when “Morning in America” dawned in the 1980s, also did the rise of the “War on Drugs,” which further criminalized and demonized the only means of income that many already living in poverty had at their disposal. Meanwhile the introduction of crack cocaine to the inner cities provided a more abundant and addictive product to target, leading to harsher prison sentences for those peddling the substance and more debilitated addicts left in its wake.

But America watched as First Lady Nancy Reagan appeared on television's most popular sitcom of the day, Diff’rent Strokes. In the Very Special episode, Mrs. Reagan’s obliviously grandmotherly voice comforted the precocious and diminutive young protagonist Arnold, an African-American child of the same poverty the American Dream shunned, now in the care of a wealthy white benefactor (and played by Gary Coleman who himself later symbolized an exploitative and predatory entertainment industry), along along with millions of other wayward youths at risk of falling victim to the ongoing drug epidemic, ironically fueled and enabled by the same America that created it. Arnold, and any of those watching could always, “Just Say No.” As though it were a choice. As though any of it were ever a choice. As though choice wouldn’t soon prove to be as illusory as the American Dream was to so many others who experienced naught but cold dark nights during “Morning in America.” As though the concept of choice wouldn’t also be blamed for the plight of LGBTQ+ Americans whose lives were destroyed by the AIDS epidemic that was stigmatized and swept under the rug by this same administration during this period.

In the past twenty years, these undercurrents that eroded the notion of Patriotism in the fifty years prior now flow freely on the surface. Though these preceding chapters, ones that told of these racial, economic, and cultural struggles, were written on scraps of hotel paper or the backs of envelopes by those who lived them, now these stories grab headlines. Headlines that reveal now more than ever the long held role of the police in maintaining these systems of oppression, as well as the consistent biases ingrained in them against the communities they were sworn to protect. Though the Patriotism that flared so brightly after 9/11 was accompanied by an increased reverence toward law enforcement officers, many having lost their lives in those towers, the ensuing decades revealed their institution’s role in excluding so many from the justice and civility our Patriotic ideal was supposed to stand for, instead embroiling them in lives lived in terror from the violence the country was supposed to stand against. So now the iconic waving flag of stars and stripes turns on its side, as the stars fade and the stripes turn to the vertical walls of the doomed Twin Towers, split by one helpless, inverted figure.

Thus the Man continues to Fall…

-Truth, War, and the War on Truth

Last night as I readied myself for bed, I opened the News app on my iPhone one last time before turning in. Though my at times masochistic addiction to the news cycle had been in a remission of sorts after the emotional burnout of a pandemic filled year, it has experienced a brief relapse of late. I sometimes view it as a quest for positivity, a search for hope, and some indication, any indication, that things are getting better, but more often it’s simply to make sure I haven’t missed the last bad thing to have happened. Indeed such an addiction is far more possible now as the news is more accessible than ever. I’ve often thought that my generation’s predilection for ‘90s nostalgia wasn’t a mere longing for our childhood or for a pre-9/11 America, but a wish to return to a time when escaping the often horrific barrage of news stories was as simple as tossing a newspaper into the recycling bin or switching off the TV. But with more and more of our very existence taking place online, the news has become inextricably intertwined with it to the point that to disconnect would risk severing our ties with our work, our activities and our socialization. Perhaps too this nostalgia is linked to a time when the news by and large represented the truth, or at least the basic facts of the day. Though valid criticisms of media biases have long existed, widespread disdain for factual storytelling is at an all time high and consensus on any voice, even one voice, we can trust is nonexistent. My generation will likely be the last to even remember a reliably comforting presence like Peter Jennings reporting the events of 9/11, or our parents’ memories or Walter Cronkite tearfully informed us of the killing of Kennedy, or the multitude of trusted local radio announcers tasked with delivering the tragic news that broke on December 7, 1941. Much like the idea of Leadership, loss of faith in The Truth is another backdrop against which the Man continues to Fall…

What struck me though about the news story that appeared on the smudged touch screen of my iPhone yesterday evening was its similarity to one that may have appeared next to a coffee stained newspaper on our kitchen table any morning before I departed for 4th grade in 1996. Further, I tell you this was never where and when anyone who had lived through the past twenty-five years would still expect to see the headline: “Taliban Whip Women Protesting Interim Government.” This is what losing a War looks like.

It is for good reason that the Second World War has been referred to as “America’s Last Good War,” and that the War in Vietnam led to an all around loss of faith in war itself as an instrument of foreign policy and a means of progressing our causes. And with America’s participation in War taking on the form of quick and focused operations, isolated police actions, and distantly coordinated air strikes since then, the large scale mobilization against Afghanistan in the Fall of 2001 (rumored at the time to be leading to Congress’s first formal Declaration of War since 1941) cheered by vengeance seeking Patriots, perhaps now to be the Last Patriots, was equally as necessary and noble in beginning what was sure to become known as “America’s First Good War of the 21st Century?” For when, albeit not for ten years, American forces finally decimated Al Qaeda and killed Osama bin Laden, did America not cheer and celebrate throughout her streets, no doubt inspiring many a tear to trickle down the withered cheeks of those who recalled witnessing such on VJ Day in their much younger years, now assured safety in their homeland? For surely a further ten years mired in the unforgiving deserts and treacherous hillsides of the region, as thousands more of our soldiers shed their blood upon the land and return dismembered, traumatized, or not at all, surely that gained our country some unheralded boon to our interests, any strategic advantage, or the meanest notion of progress in the lives of our citizens or more importantly the people whose country we occupied for two decades? Why then, does America’s last plane departing from Kabul Airport nearly a score of years after the first of hers rained bombs not so far from it, instead truly feel like the final Fall of our long dying faith in War itself?

Because when I read a headline from Afghanistan last night, in high definition through the tired eyes of a young man feeling far older than he had earned any right to, and it remained (even after 20 years of frantically advancing and retreating soldiers, deafening blasts from bombs and improvised explosives, and so much more sanguine blood streaming from wounded flesh of all the colors of the world) so dissimilar from one that would have flashed onto a comparatively fuzzy television screen to meet the cheery eyes of an enthusiastically Patriotic Cub Scout, proud of the Leader his parents would take part in reelecting later that year (though, ironically, this Leader would himself have his own part to play in our collective loss of faith in Leadership), well...I simply could feel no other way. This is what losing a war looks like…

...and thus the Man continues to Fall.

And while our country losing its faith in War should be welcomed as a sign of progress and our collective evolution toward the civilization that was to serve as a cornerstone of our now-fallen Patriotism, it can only be truly welcomed when it is replaced instead by a renewed and sincere faith in Peace! And perhaps in global affairs, in a nominal and superficial sense, Peace is gaining some believers, though I can’t confidently believe all hold this faith sincerely as much as out of a cynically held tool of self-preservation until the war profiteers who pull their strings find new markets for their wares. But America’s faith in Violence is now stronger than ever. Carried out now by citizens on our streets rather than soldiers across the world, by police in squad cars rather than infantry in tanks, and now, perhaps imperceptibly, by viruses in our lungs spreading freely through uncovered orifi, violence is embraced by America as a whole in ways that make any notion that anyone this violent nation killed halfway across the world made us safer these last twenty years. In that same period, a new record for the deadliest mass shooting in modern American history has been set, first by a disturbed and alienated college student in Virginia, then by a would-be terrorist with a history of hate crimes at an LGBT+ nightclub in Orlando, and finally by his immediate usurper of this horrific distinction who just the following year rained bullets down from a modified assault rifle upon concertgoers in Las Vegas while perched far above them in his hotel room. Expanding our scope to the top five shootings, the other two on the list took place during just this past decade, the first carried out upon children by a mentally ill youth at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut, and the other at a church in Texas, by a resentful and misogynistic former spouse of one of the parishioners, a uniquely American demon consumed with wanting. In each instance the tired argument, dating back to the pre-9/11 massacre at Columbine and beyond, was made, that our government’s comparatively lax laws on gun ownership were to blame, but after the killings at Sandy Hook in 2012 changed nothing in that regard, that argument has felt increasingly futile. After all, when a country does fails to restrict such instruments of death after they’re used to murder 27 children, it doesn’t really want to. And to blame the mere presence of guns sidesteps the truth at the root of these shootings: modern America breeds killers, and more effective ones than ever.

But while Americans react to the violence perpetrated by mass shootings with condemnation and abhorrence, the violence carried out by an increasingly militarized police force breeds division and itself, violent rhetoric as the calls to find more peaceful solutions to making our streets safer are met with calls for more violence and diversions of blame to the victims themselves. This rash of violence was once countered with the statement that, “police brutality in America isn’t getting worse, it’s just getting filmed,” once again ignoring the forgotten chapters in our History in which we have now read that policing in America has played a part in targeting and criminalizing People of Color since its near inception. And as indeed everything is being filmed now, it permeates our culture to the point that it now builds upon itself influencing our every interaction, becoming a key talking point in the hate speech that now passes for political discourse. The result being the undeniable fact that the Fall of our Faith in War has not given way to the Rise of our Faith in Peace. Not in any meaningful way across the globe, and within our own borders it has shifted to a Rise in Faith in War upon Ourselves. And meanwhile…

...the Man continues to Fall…

-Tilling the Earth to Grow Softer Ground

...but where will he land?

In embarking on all of my writings, in contrast to the manner in which our country begins so many of its wars, I never do so without some intention of finding some source of hope or comfort, some path forward to progress, or, when setting out with the most optimistic of outlooks, perhaps a solution to the issues explored. While there was little to be had as I drafted the first few segments, it also became all the more necessary in the face of revisiting so much of the despair, confusion, and upheaval my fellow Americans and I have experienced these last twenty years as well as much of what those who came before did the decades examined prior. Thus it is fitting that while the preceding passages of this article were written in multiple sessions on my porch this week while the searing summer sun begins to give way to the first chilly autumn winds, I conclude this piece sitting on my bed as the first minutes of September the 11th, 2021 tick by. While many of the recent writings about Richard Drew’s iconic photograph have sought to confirm, or at investigate clues as to, the identity of its subject. In writing this piece I was reminded of so much of the American lives currently being lived now takes place in a culture where many are emboldened by the absence of names or faces. Thus to the notion that one would seek to identify this blurry, tragic figure, I retort: in a society where to be nameless and faceless can mean to be validated or even in some way seem enviable, what meaning could this man’s name and face possibly hold were it revealed to the masses? Instead it is perhaps better he continue his descent in anonymity and transubstantiate in our collective consciousness, and perhaps enjoy the comparative bliss felt only when one’s form shifts to that of a generational metaphor.

But as a now belabored metaphor, surely worn and windburned by his descent through my accountings of over a half-century’s worth of America’s broken promises, cheapened values, and hidden hatreds that were really in plain sight, he certainly deserves a softer place to land than the mattress that now serves as my roost, upon which I try to write one up for him. And from it I am reminded as well of the faiths that fell from our very homes, many of which we held our most steadfast trust. Our generation having now experienced the twin economic upheavals of the 2008 financial crisis and the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic, faith in our dreams has fallen. And when the fall of this faith was begun by the shortsightedness and bad advice of those who first told us to believe in our dreams, we have to believe our dreams were always meant to decline. Thus many of us have embraced decline, with rates of depression, addiction, and other mental illness climbing in recent years. This is but one factor in the fall of our faith in the preceding generations, but this is in no way a textbook shifting of blame to our parents and grandparents, for they too have never lived in a world like this either. Instead, having spent so many of their younger years in a state of Not Knowing (while we ironically know nothing but this feeling) the brief length of time they spent in a state of Knowing, having been taught so well History’s patterns, shifts, palpable rhythms of causes and effects, ebbs and flows, and calms preceding storms that they weathered in the America they thought they knew, became their addiction as well, their perceived wisdom now the opiate of their uncertainty. For me personally, my late father was the one who taught me the most about the components, currents, and forces that moved History and how they had been maintained. Thus after his passing in early 2016, the loss was made all the more crushing upon the election of Donald Trump later that year, now that he, who for so much of my life could always point back to an equivalent trajectory America had placed upon and determine some possible arrival point, was no longer with us. But even having asked him so many times in my youth, “so what does this mean now, dad?” I recall now how many more times in the final decade of his life, he could answer with little more than, “I don’t know Nick.”

So perhaps I am also one of many for whom their faith in Wisdom has fallen as well. And since with the passing on of Wisdom our society traditionally passes on its culture, so with it has our Culture fallen as well. By now means in such a way that I would dare complain there has been a decline in the quality of our art, music, and films, but the notion of a shared culture of unassailable timeless classes has fallen. This may be for the best however, as the very subjective nature of art itself implies that any attempt to establish the undeniable supremacy of any work of art in such a way that spans generations, cultures, or life experiences serves to deny the validity of so many diverse tastes, sensibilities, and traditions as well as that of a work’s relevance when its purpose was only to encapsulate the cultural moment it was created in. So perhaps we should embrace the fact that our cultural landmarks are now determined more by individuals for themselves, and consist of niche classics, flavor of the day pop hits, and even tuneful inside jokes distributed across the vastness of the internet by among the varied enclaves of those who appreciate them. And even as part of a generation of young people who feel old, though many who had the luxury of experienced their brief stint in the state of Knowing will argue I haven’t earned that feeling, I remain a dedicated fan of the legendary musician Bruce Springsteen, it is perhaps fitting that his hopeful 2002 album “The Rising” would resonate far less in defining the musical outlook of the post-9/11 era than a 2003 release by his fellow New Jerseyans in the lesser-known punk band Thursday, titled “War All The Time.” Still with cultural moments all the more fleeting and tastes increasingly specific, one might say that each is now as obscure as the other, in contrast to the attention paid upon their initial release. The truth of course may be determined by which generation one comes from.

However this softer landing surface upon which our Man is to Land can only be created through generational cooperation, so let us finally unite in the experience of Not Knowing as we reluctantly celebrate the death of Wisdom, and perhaps even briefly entertain some illusion that the ground may yield when he reaches it, but bear each other through the realization we can instead only soften it by creating new institutions and redefining old ideas.

For the failing of Leadership need not truly be failure if we instead build our Leaders from the ground up. Rather than following those who present themselves on a bully pulpit as such, follow those who present themselves in the places we already needed them to be and allowed us to find them there. That is to say, on our own streets in the neighborhoods we live in, serving the communities in which they have built their lives while helping others to build theirs. Find them in our own offices and factories, working side by side while gaining an understanding of the labor and dedication that truly builds a nation, a dedication they wouldn’t dare exploit. And task these leaders with creating ideologies of which they themselves will someday no longer be irrelevant symbols, as ideologies must now be based not upon whom among these privileged few we choose to vote into power, but upon which of the many more helpless we choose to heal of their suffering.

Further I implore you not to mourn the death of our faith in Patriotism if our New Patriots can now redefine their love for their country as no longer being a love for the vague and faceless notions of Freedom or exclusionary definitions of “We” that were allowed to make that Freedom a luxury so few were truly afforded. And when harsh economic forces and the predatory and cynical motivations of those who were allowed to write the chapters upon which the Old Patriotism was written seek to restrict that Freedom even further, let us redistribute it to the no longer huddled masses so they may no longer thirst for it. For the New Patriotism will be based in understanding that to love one’s country means to love every human being who resides within it, no matter their origin or status. This Patriotism understands that America need not merely be the name of a long dead sailor, given by white men to stolen land that once bore so many varied, beautiful, and sacred names for the vast and diverse locales that comprise it, but that America by definition is collection of the hopes, dreams, fears, and needs of three-hundred thirty or more million souls upon whose very existence building a fair and equitable society depends.

And if our faith in War is to truly fail and give way to sincere dedication to faith in Peace. Let the only faith in War that remains be faith in the War upon War, and the destruction of our faith in violence of all kinds. And let the War upon War be a war upon ignorance and selfishness, and allow a generation whose defining tragedy’s only arrival point was a larger and more prolonged tragedy breathe easier, with hope that the virus that destroyed their dreams, and took vast numbers of the preceding generations who once comforted them with their experience in the state of Knowing, will no longer dominate their futures. And if this love that defines the New Patriotism can be the motivating factor in facing our challenges with genuine concern and care for the well being and prosperity of all three-hundred thirty or more million souls for whom the freedom to lives of health and safety, joy and fulfillment, will now be by this new definition their birthright.

At last, when this War upon War has ended, not with a dubious arrival point, but on a glorious and eternal new trajectory, let us harken back to the ways the ends of Wars were written of in scripture, for to bend the sword into plowshares now takes on a greater and renewed urgency, as the need to till the Earth is essential in the necessary task of growing softer ground upon which someday, somehow...

...this Man will Land.

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lady-plantagenet · 4 years ago

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♦ for all three sons of York! 😄

Asked via the Headcanon Meme: https://lady-plantagenet.tumblr.com/post/634584063141920769/headcanon-meme.

Darling I apologise for the delay 😭😂, hope you enjoy this semi-historical train of thought. You indulge me xx ☺️☺️ (rest of you get ready for a similar level of uncalled for ridiculous levels of detail)

♦ - Quirks/Hobbies Headcanons

~Edward IV~

Ok, one more grounded in reality and some more Headcanonish:

So, in Lord Edward Lytton-Bulwer’s ‘Last of the Barons’ I uncovered a fascinating (and primary-sourced) fact about our Edward: He engaged in international trades of his own. Apparently, he had his own ships and vessels that would jettison wool to and fro Burgundy. The trading classes, with whom Edward was always on great terms, were initially thrilled and felt a bit of sense of connection because of this. However, it became a bit of a bother when his self-given exemption from custom and duties gave him an unfair competitive advantage. Since reading that, I’ve always seen Edward as someone whose hobbies revolve around these types of matters rather than military ones. I really headcanon trading as a genuine hobby of his. With that, I would also connect other practical as opposed to artistic or conventional pastimes. I always saw Elizabeth Woodville as the big account manager (based on how she ran her crown property), so I headcanon Edward as liking to meddle in the external more merchantile matters, which translates to enjoying himself by making wagers/bets with those around him and always winning whether it be on personal matters or businesses (sometimes even in appropriately on women of the court). Not to mention a talent at games like cards and dice. If he lived today he would be the grand master of monopoly 😂. He wasn’t the most intellectual of men (he was at one point planning on defunding Eton College to get funds), but I always headcanoned he was pretty strong at maths (which was part of a nobleman’s education, but at that time it was mastery of the arts that granted you the reputation of a smartman). Of course, this fits in with his historical interest in alchemy, which I headcanon he was also partly interested in because of the potential of it yielding gold, but upon his marriage, the mystical side beckoned him too.

~ George Duke of Clarence~

I’ve done one for him here, which you can check out. But hell, do I have a lot of headcanons about him so I’ll do another here.

Our George was by all accounts a talented demagogue. His performance in the inheritance dispute indeed adds stock to what chronicles such as Rous Rolls and Crowland have said about his oratory and reasoning talents (which allegedly were rival to Edward’s own). Though some personality quirks could make him appear like a bit of a (popular Headcanon nowadays) himbo: penchant for airing out his grievances, flamboyancy and a great pride which combined with a famous sense of humour leads to instances where it verges into innappropriate levels of macabre (his own death being the prime example).

N.b: and yes I do in fact believe he was drowned in a barrel of wine and by his choosing. I don’t need Shakespeare to tell me this, I need only look at the strong evidence proposing this: a) Margaret Pole’s barrel charm, b) The fact that his head was reported as attached to his body when his body was exhumed centuries later. Drowning in a bath is another possibility, but then again, it was famously a womanly execution and I doubt a man as self-important as George would have been alright with the association, c) The fact that contemporaries such as Mancini (among others) have stated that this is the manner in which he died. Shakespeare’s play just further reflects that at that time (as in closer to 1478 then we are now) this was the consensus. Not to mention that in Richard III he wasnt technically drowned but stabbed and then thrown in a barrel. Arguments against center around ‘this seems just a bit too crazy’ but stop there.

So where was I? Oh yes. So in spite of that, I headcanon teenage George as very resentful of those who thought him bumbling, giddy and unserious (young Richard especially), because well, he was very touchy about his pride and saw himself as a prince worthy of deference and gravity (multitude of evidence for this). His charming nature never left him even as he grew bitter but instead he learned to harness it into a mask in order to induce others into error and subestimation. Indeed, much of his earlier successes hinged on the fact that Edward didn’t expect that level of planning (and betrayal) from him. Nevertheless, he never hid his talents completely, he had a very astute legal mind and I headcanon him as having a hobby for the law since he was a young boy and realised how useful this knowledge would prove in time and loved it on an intellectual level as he engaged with debates on matters from trusts laws to constitutional canonical and jurisprudential matters, first with his tutors, then his brothers, then Warwick and then his chief supporters and friends at Warwick and Tutbury when he became a magnate post-1472. Of course, I feel like this fits in with the impression of an argumentative and opinionated man as exuded from the historical figure. I also headcanon him as being delighted to have had Caxton’s Games and Playes of Chess (1474) dedicated to him (becoming one of his patron around this time historically). It remains the second book printed in English (first being Anthony’s dictes and sayings of philosophers - I think) and I headcanon him as doing the head in of all those around him with discussions and debates around the book’s message XD.

~Richard III~

Richard gets a reputation in fiction (where other people get most of their headcanons from) as being extremely serious. I personally share this Headcanon and I feel it was the most striking difference between him and his brothers’ personalities. I think he had very little ‘quirks’ as it were. Though there was this author (haven’t read the book) Jonathan Hughes who somehow manages to write an entire book about Richard’s interesting divination. He draws onto some vaguely paganistic symbols among Richard III’s choice of clothing and such, and posits that he had some interest in pre-conquest Northern religious culture. Anne Neville who by all accounts seemed to have had some interest in mysticism (read and discussed Ghostly Grace by a German mystic with her mother-in-law at length) I headcanon bonded with Richard over conversing on these types of topics. Therefore, I headcanon him as having a (very very lowkey because, as I said, he took great care in presenting himself as conventional and unsuspicious) hobby for northern paganisms, myths, prophecies and the like. I think it would explain what appears to be the historical figures ‘apparent hypocritical personality: Only banning benevolences after first trying to acquire them, having Shore pay penance when he himself had fathered bastards (John probably during his first year of marriage if Kendall’s reasoning is right) and aspiring and holding others to strict chivalric values of which he often fell short. The signs of stress found in isotopic analysis on his bones however makes me think that he was aware of these contradictions. Of course, he could have been stressed around the time of his death for other obvious reasons, but I’m not getting into that here. I suppose my headcanon of him as very utilitarian (yes I know Bentham came centuries later but, you know, he didn’t exactly invent this manner of thought) in his beliefs classifies as a quirk? Haha. As for hobbies, I think his scoliosis made him eschew some of the more physically demanding types of sports, so I see him as fairly bookish and like his brother George, extremely interested in the law as a hobby (though nowadays we wrongly see it as a rather vocational discipline). Though he shared the interest in matters of jurisprudence with George (about which they both strongly disagreed Richard taking the less fiscally conservative stance), he was more interested in criminal law matters (which checks out as he had made reforms on the criminal law and bail). I think he was genuinely concerned with justice, just a bit self-contradictory in his approach and diverse in his spirituality (the last more headcanonish)

#to everyone: this meme is still open ☺️☺️#there you go sorry sorry for the delay #but as you can see I do love my detail #a bygone era #tagged that for AO3 future chapters reference #george of clarence #edward iv #richard iii #🍷❤️#will add read more function soon #basically I love them all #I love making fun of them but nothing will convince me that they weren’t indeed talented young men full of talents and smarts #which by all accounts accords with historical fact #george plantagenet

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monkey-network · 5 years ago

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Eizouken v. Ratatouille: Dawn of the Creative Drive

WARNING: This critique will contain spoilers for Eizouken episodes 1-4 and the film Ratatouille. Also this is long. And yes, I had to make this or else I would’ve exploded. Enjoy.

Youtube’s TheRealJims made a video review of pixar’s Ratatouille not long ago, check it out by the way, and one thing about it caught me deep. He described Ratatouille as “a progressive kind of film, not in the political sense, but a very forward looking movie.” This line stuck with me as I begun to watch Keep Your Hands Off the Eizouken, an anime about a high schooler, inspired as a child, working her way to create anime with her friends. It wasn’t until episode 4 where mind threads started to knot, where that line about the pixar flic started to click with this anime in a way I’ve never thought of before. As such, I found that these two have a great thematic link, a connected warp between the creative minds of adults and children. Eizouken and Ratatouille do the remarkable in giving us the bouts and beauties to having a creative, “progressive” drive, and I wanted to explore how they stack up differently and similarly. And with that,,,,

The Ignition

The beginning scene of Eizouken where Midori see her inspiring anime for the first time is personally my favorite moment of the anime so far, borderline perfect. Like Remy, we already see her have this extrinsic passion for drawing once she arrives at her jungle gym of a newfound home; crude as they look, we see her seedling talent in jotting the details of her world onto paper. It’s then when she watches Future Boy Conan where her passion becomes etched in stone intrinsically. Miyazaki was her Gusteau, the bonafide inspiration that, taking it all in, made a simple hobby into a driven pursuit. Ratatouille more or less streamlines this whole moment with narration (makes sense cuz it’s a film) but they nonetheless bring home how a talent can be solidified if given the right push. Even if you didn’t have a desire to have a fulfilling career from it, you can’t deny that there was a moment in your life where something (be it a show, game, book, etc.) was the foundation to your biggest hobby, which then allowed you to explore it more as you grew up.

One thing to note is how Ratatouille handles Remy’s character with his interest. In spite of his palette gift, he doesn’t become a snob or too good towards his rat family; there’s not a moment where he claims he knows better than his skeptic father, they just idealistically disagree and their connection remains intact throughout the film. He has taste and knowledge, but isn’t smug about it. Midori is rounded the same way, she doesn’t push Kanamori or anyone to accept that anime is the best thing ever, and there’s that layer of anxiety to her love of anime that humanizes her aspirations a little more than Remy. It was a lot easier for Remy to be a cook than it was for Midori to make anything beyond concept art, or be sociable about it for that matter. At the same time, both remain humble in their ignited desires and understandably had to deal with an initial drawback to pursuing their dreams which is where...

The Helping Hands

Now, I’m not saying Midori is puppeting Tsubame or that Tsubame is a subversion of the whole rags to riches trope. I say like Linguini, Tsubame is one of the bridges for Midori to live out her desire, with the added bonus of being just as on board in scaffolding Asakusa’s passion to its most palpable form with her own dream of being an animator. Midori and Remy, be it their figurative or literal limitations, needed the likes of Linguini and Mizusaki to make things come to fruition. Even when Linguini doesn’t desirably wanna be a top chef himself, he witnesses Remy’s skill and is willing to put himself out there to work together and make the best cooking at the restaurant. Likewise, Tsubame is more than willing to work with Midori if it means not being forced into doing what her parents want and sharing that pathos of anime with a similar mind. And unlike Ratatouille, it helps that Tsubame is already adept in animating; I’ll talk to more on this later, but I’m glad Ōwara didn’t force us a character that wants to be somebody but has done nothing for herself. That’s what I noticed with both of these features, there’s a great semblance of support when passion is there but can’t progress singularly. There can/will be people out here to help you and they will come when you least expect it. Linguini and Tsubame both work well as the muscle of the cast, the character that does the heavy lifting in bringing the meal or anime to life. As such, we essentially have our director and the more hands on conductor of the project, but this all can’t be done without the producer.

Colette and Kanamori serve well as the anchor for our respective characters; we can’t just have the four characters go nuts with whatever, there needs to be some stability, a reality to the ambitious madness that can come with creating. Kanamori isn’t teaching the two any ground rules of anime, but she understands the analytics and guidelines to keeping things on track. Colette helps Linguini, by extension Remy, on the known etiquette to being productive in the kitchen, the same can be said for Kanamori in helping Tsubame and Midori in getting the film done clean and timely. While making a meal isn’t the same as making a whole cartoon, the ins and outs of getting things done have a parallel organized track. There’s especially more to making animation, especially on a deadline, and I’m glad Eizouken doesn’t shy away from giving you the thought process in what might go on behind the scenes; it practically gives you the ropes on what could happen if you were in each of the trio’s shoes.

Additionally, these two are the most resolute of the three characters; they stick to the mission understanding where Remy and Midori are philosophically, and Tsubame and Linguini are fundamentally, coming from. She and Kanamori exhibit the practical outsider, the one to truly stick their neck out, don’t put up with bullshitting, to push the creative drive further. Both see the weight that comes to production and while Colette has her fallback in the 3rd act, they make sure everything goes as planned. They truly practice what they preach and are the glue that holds things together. The only disadvantage Colette has is that she lacks a relationship with Remy, it’s mostly indirect at the end while Asakusa and Kanamori are initially on better terms since they were already close friends. But with our characters on the move, there’s hardly such thing as a perfect run,,,,

The Fallback

This part is where Eizouken and Ratatouille truly divide because the problems that arises for our characters come in differently. Ratatouille has more outside factors coming in with the fact that Remy is a rat and is pulled between his connection with humans vs his own kind. Eizouken is more in-fighting between the three where Tsubame and Midori’s ambitions have to face off against Kanamori’s more realistic shut downs and options. Eizouken also presents the compromises that can come with being a creator where Ratatouille reasonably montages through the hardships that can come with human puppetry and becoming an instant hit in the kitchen. Success is portrayed more consistently in Ratatouille than in Eizouken, which focuses more on the progress. It’s obvious given that, again, making food is not as time and energy consuming as making a feature; we see that animation is a lot more than just drawing all your ideas onto the equivalent to a flip book.

To sidetrack a bit, I came to agree with Jim that Monsters University is the antithesis to Ratatouille where the hard work that one puts into their dreams doesn’t mean imminent or easily delivered success. It’s a bizarro film in that, while not breaking new ground plotwise, MU is grimly realistic in that your passionate drive won’t always lead to getting the spoils you exactly want. Eizouken cleverly sits the middle of the two, where success is achievable if you put the effort in, but that effort realistically won’t go exactly how you want. Mizusaki wants everything hand-drawn and Asakusa wants a story, but come to understand that shortcuts need to happen if they want to get it done by the council meet. Kanamori isn’t crushing their aspirations for the hell of it, she makes it clear that time and the student body are not on their side. As opposed to Ratatouille, the final boss that are the critic(s) are notably secondary to getting the project done somehow. As mentioned before, I’m glad Ōwara made Tsubame already apt in animating because we can focus less on her being able to do it, more on the limitations that come with doing it. She has the skill, but has to bargain on her capabilities with what’s necessary as we see the tolls that come with the job.

Where I say these two collide somehow is the facet of the outsider putting the effort in for their goals. Remy and Midori are gifted and near encyclopedic in their trades, but are reasonably setback by both internal conflicting question of how far are they willing to go in exercising their drives. Remy more external than Midori since he could literally be killed if the truth was out too soon, but there is that self doubt in both of them where it can be hard to imagine that anyone can cook or that creating the great world is possible. It’s near the end of the arcs where they truly stand up for their beliefs and I appreciate that both handle the determined directing of our MCs in a respectable, pretty relatable way. They finally get to call the shots. They never sacrifice what could’ve been for what could be dauntingly realistic either; both offer an organic sense of optimism. But, with this optimism, comes the endgame that truly puts it all to the test in...

The Moment of Truth

Mr. Anton Ego, Skinner, and the Student Council are undoubtedly the final piece to these puzzles. It’s smart that they’re only present by the end of the arcs, only mentioned initially as the antagonistic force Remy and the Eizouken need to convince; they didn’t need to shoehorn their looming gavels any further. Naturally Skinner parallels the council president, a disingenuous hothead that antagonizes our MCs in a more unfair light while secretary Sakaki represents Ego, an intellectually honest person with actual standards and can see the forest for the trees. Eizouken’s episode 4 perfectly conceives why Kanamori is the boss, as she effortlessly confronts the allegations against them; not so much bluffing as she is spotlighting the council’s rash judgement. Unfortunately Kanamori can only debunk them so far, which leads to Midori overcoming her anxiety to demand that they’re given a chance. It’s great that Asakusa can suffer in silence for only so long before pushing herself to say something. This falls in line with Remy’s dad showing his son the grim realistic front of humans and rats before coming back to help him when he realizes Remy’s determinism. It’s like the rat says, the only way to go, “With luck, forward.”

Like the scene where Ego eats the titular dish, the moment we finally see the anime in full is almost disgustingly perfect. It’s fitting that a riot was going on before the presentation only for the action packed film to essentially come to life and throw chaos right back at everybody with powerful air waves, tank shells, and the tank itself jumping off the screen, literally blowing the audience away. Eizouken has literally more louder of a scene than Ratatouille’s, but both offer that climatic impart equally hard in their respective moments. They don’t shy away from grasping that immersive feeling of what you loved the most about food and/or animation, those invested in the film/series are basically with Ego and the student audience as those moments happen. It kinda hurts the brain how perfect these two moments are. Eizouken and Ratatouille, in a meta sense, weren’t successful only because they poke at our nostalgia or love, but of how they go the mile to convey it significantly. Ratatouille by the end, thanks to Ego, provides the apt idea of open-mindedness; that greatness can come from anywhere. Eizouken does this but adds the step that being open-minded can come with seeing what the efforts of that determined greatness can lead to. And with this, we see how it ends, or how it begins...

The Step Forward

I mentioned this before, but I loved that immediately after their demo reel finished, they weren’t worrying about any approval from the council or audience but discussing about what to improve on next. We see the soon boundless enthusiasm of the trio when, regardless of , they want to improve and do more as a team, all while the secretary approves the club in the hopes to see the fruitful potential. Compare this to Ratatouille for while Remy succeeds in convincing his family and Ego of his talent, they don’t sacrifice realism too much. Gusteau’s is naturally shut down, rats and humans aren’t suddenly living together by the end. At the same time, the movie wasn’t really about that, but about achieving small victories, optimistically grasping that palpable progress. Like Eizouken, Ratatouille leaves us with the progressive prospect that there’s the potential for more, for better.

To quote Jim once more, I say what makes both Eizouken and Ratatouille work fundamentally is that they keep the finger on the pulse of their respective message(s) while still creating enjoyable moments; they don’t sacrifice the fun of getting things right for pushing why it matters. They don’t sellout the bonds between our characters for irreverent romps in the kitchen or studio. Both offer a meaningfulness to their respective crafts, blending its many flavors into a well made dish that explores what it means to create and the steps that come with it. What it means to have passion and utilize that to its capable extent. What it means to enjoy a meal while watching an impressively finished production. They’re also very well animated; thanks Yuasa and Bird.

#keep your hands off eizouken!#keep your hands off the motion pictures club!#eizouken #eizouken anime #KYHOE #Ratatouille #pixar #disney #anime #animation #critique #analysis #Good Stuff #long post

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nuttyrabbit · 5 years ago

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Oliver the Barn Owl Bio

So a few weeks ago I made a post where I said I’d start focusing on my OCs more and that, combined with the recent redesign I got for Oliver, finally prompted me into writing something that’s been long, long overdue: an actual bio for the boy.

Before I get into it, I have to give a couple of shout-outs.

First of all, shout outs to @shinkumancer for doing this excellent redesign of Oliver. She’s come so far as an artist and character designer since his first design almost 4 years ago, and in general is just a great artist all around. Check out her stuff and buy a commission, I promise you won’t be disappointed!

The other shout out is to my absolute best friend @pidgeonspen who not only helped me put together this bio, but was instrumental in helping me figure out Oliver’s new direction and a lot of the details for the worldbuilding surrounding him. There’s so much we’ve worked on in relation to his character (as well as certain others I have yet to share) and I’m so excited to start actually sharing it and doing stuff with it, but I’m getting ahead of myself

If you got any questions, comments, feedback, criticism, whatever, feel free to shoot me an ask or DM.

With that out of the way, here it is: Oliver’s bio. As usual, everything’s under the readmore.

Name: Oliver the Barn Owl

Age: 20

Height: 3'4"

Occupation: Aspiring historian/mage. Currently wandering around Eastern Eurish/West Yurashia

Sexuality: Bi

Personality: Kind, curious, socially awkward, overly eager, gullible and naïve; Oliver really wants to do right by the people around him and help out when he can, all while striving to learn more about the world around him and find the answers he seeks.

Oliver dislikes needless violence, but is not entirely opposed to the notion of self defense. That being said, he will try to settle most situations through nonviolent means if possible, whether by taking a diplomatic approach or using his magical illusions to trick them. When he is forced to engage in combat, Oliver never aims to kill, instead seeking to subdue or render his enemies unconscious; the only exception is when he is faced with a life or death situation, and there are no other viable options left.

His naivete shines through in his quirky habits and lack of fundamental social skills, such as voice modulation, wherein he has trouble gauging the volume at which he speaks, switching from being jarringly loud to incredibly quiet. He also rambles on about what interests him, sometimes speaking so fast others may not be able to follow. He's self aware, but unsure how to fix these problems. Because of these factors, he doesn't pick up cues when he's being flirted with, as such advances can go over his head, and he's rather uneasy in crowds, at worst finding himself panicking and fleeing to a more secluded, private location.

His naivete is the root of much of his sweet, seemingly positive traits: due to his isolated upbringing, he isn't a worldly individual and, combined with his compulsion to help others and overtly optimistic outlook, has lead to him being used and manipulated, as well as giving second chances to those who clearly do not deserve it.

Skills: First and foremost, Oliver is skilled in the use of magic, mainly what is known as "dark" magic i.e, magic that invokes the powers of a demonic entity. Using his tome as a conduit, Oliver is able to cast a wide variety of spells, though his preferences usually lie in non-offensive magic such as that of illusions and healing. The former in particular is something Oliver is quite skilled in, being able to invoke something as simple as an auditory illusion and something as complex as creating mirror images of himself, though that is something that cannot be done for too long. In regards to healing, while Oliver cannot completely heal life-threatening wounds, he is able to patch up relatively minor wounds and cure basic ailments. He is also starting to get the hang of more outright defensive spells, such as barriers and even reflectors, though, like his illusions, these cannot be maintained for too long, and he is not as adept with these as he is with his other spells. Finally, Oliver is capable of using offensive magic in the form of basic blasts of dark magic, but given his pacifistic nature, he uses these as an absolute last resort and even then, does not aim to kill with them.

Given both his isolated upbringing and nomadic lifestyle, Oliver is quite skilled when it comes to wilderness survival. He's able to forage for food, build rudimentary shelters and fires, and navigate all with relative ease. That being said however, when it comes to navigating urban environments, Oliver is completely out of his element and will quickly become lost and overwhelmed.

Hobbies: Oliver's hobbies revolve around his interests in magic and history; naturally, he loves reading and exploring. He often seeks out the libraries and bookstores of the towns he passes through, and will even investigate abandoned ruins and castles to satiate his curiosity, often taking barely legible notes in his tome. He can often be seen with his beak in a book, often forming a small collection of titles he's found or purchased with his spare earnings, though he tends to take on more than he can carry and so having to leave them behind is a bit of a sour point for him. He vows to one day get a library of his own so he can actually *keep* all of the books he finds on his travels.

Likes: History, magic, books (Mainly ones that pertain to the aforementioned topics), helping people, snack foods (Pretty much anything he can eat on the go, whether it be granola bars, pretzels, berries, etc. He's got a sweet tooth so anything that's super sweet is right up his alley), libraries, sharing his knowledge/findings with others, the cold (Grew up in it, so he's super comfortable in it as well).

Dislikes: Selfishness, cruelty, ignorance, crowds, excessively bitter food/drink (Not big on coffee), technology (Doesn't actually dislike it, he just has trouble actually using it), being lied to/manipulated (It's something he beats himself up over but continually falls prey to)

Backstory: Born in the remote, frigid forests of Sibral in Northeastern Yurashia, Oliver grew up in almost complete isolation, living in a simple wooden cabin with nobody else but his parents around.

Growing up, Oliver's parents attempted to give the boy the best life they could despite their circumstances, showering him with constant love and attention. They also attempted to provide Oliver with an education, with his mother teaching him the basics of wilderness survival including how to find food and basic first aid, and his father teaching him how to read and fostering his love for history. However, the foremost priority in terms of Oliver's education was in the art of magic, and it is here where Oliver received the most thorough teachings, with his mother teaching him everything she knew healing and defensive spells, and his father helping him to develop his signature illusions as well as some basic curses.

When Oliver wasn't receiving an education, he was spending most of his time either wandering around the woods by his home or reading the varied, yet also limited selection of books from his father's library. Not only did the stories within these books intensify Oliver's love of reading and interest in history, but they also gave him something far more profound: his beliefs. Whether set in fiction or reality, the novels all encompassed similar themes of good people making the world a better place simply by doing the right thing, even if they had to do so alone; the notion that no matter how bad things get or how bleak things look, the innate kindness and good in people will prevail even during the darkest hour - these are things Oliver took to heart and would carry with him for the rest of his life.

Things continued in this manner for most of Oliver's childhood and adolescence; his time split between education, reading, and strolling through the icy woods he called his home. In general, life was rather peaceful. However, the older he got, the more certain things began to bother him and gnaw at the edge of his mind. To start, his parents always seemed to dance around the big questions: "Why do we live out here all alone?", "How did you learn magic?", "Why are you so concerned about me running into 'demons'?" The demons question in particular was a sticking point for Oliver, as while his parents went to great lengths to warn him about "demons", they seemed to not know too much about them to begin with, or at the very least, weren't telling him everything. Then again, it seemed that they weren't telling him everything in regards to a lot of things.

Even outside of that however, there was something else that seemed to bother him: this growing desire to get out there. As much as he liked his home and his parents, he began to yearn to see the various places and people so vividly detailed in his books. He wanted to see what else was out there, what new things he could learn, what people he could meet and what experiences he could revel in. These sentiments of wanderlust only grew as time went on, and by the time he reached adulthood, it was becoming almost unbearable.

Which is why it came as a welcome surprise to Oliver that the moment he turned 18, his parents seemed eager to see him out of the house, helping him pack for what was surely to be a long journey, his father even giving him his favorite magical tome and cape, and his mother giving him a brand new outfit meant to show off her "handsome little boy". With a kiss goodbye and some words of encouragement, Oliver was soon off on his journey, thrust out unto the world with no real direction, yet still excited to see what lay beyond the confines of his isolated abode.

However, once Oliver got out into the world, he found that reality didn't quite match what he saw in his books. While many people he's met have been kind and compassionate like he expected , just as many have been callous, ignorant, or even outright cruel, attempting to either harm or take advantage of the owl's kindness and naivete. To make matters worse, while some have appreciated his magical talents, what he wasn't prepared for was the amount of people who treat his magic with fear, disdain, disbelief, and on rare occasion, violence. His parents had warned him that such things could happen, but he didn't imagine it could get as bad as it did.

While he has had many pleasant experiences thus far, and has even gotten to explore some of the locales described in his books, these unfortunate experiences have left their mark on the owl, and even though he still maintains his compassionate nature and optimistic beliefs, there is still a part of him that is hurt by what he's been through.

With all the unanswered questions hanging over his head - a list that only seemed to grow with each passing day - Oliver began to question things, such as why his parents had seemed to be in such a hurry to get him out of the house when he came of age.

Adding to the mystery, strange dreams have begun to plague his slumber - a voice belonging to someone (or something?), urging him to go to specific locations, searching for something important.

Now more confused than ever before, Oliver has one burning question taking precedence over all else:

Just what the heck is the "Jeweled Scepter", and why is it so important that he seek it out?

#Oliver the Barn Owl #OC stuff #Sonic OC #Sonic FC #Sonic #Archie Sonic #I've been thinking about making an OC blog just so I have all of this in one place and organized #What do y'all think?#Would y'all be interested in that?

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digitaldreams0801 · 5 years ago

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Diaspro Profile

Name: Diaspro Fantine Hyndon Tapia

Age: 16

Gender: Female (she/her)

Birthday: May 3

Sexuality: Homosexual Polyamorous

Magic: Earth

Astrological Sign: Satyr

Status: Noble

Occupation: Student

Affiliation: Tapia Family of Eraklyon, Alfea College for Fairies

Planet of Origin: Eraklyon

Hobbies: Shopping, reading, fencing, drawing, browsing the internet

Family: Alexandra Colette Clementine Tapia (Mother), Royce Stern Talon Tapia (Father), Allegra Jillian Dorothea Tapia (Oldest sister), Benjamin Charles Francis Tapia (Older brother), Cecily Diana Elizabeth Tapia (Older sister), Edward Brian Ernest Tapia (Younger brother), Fiora Marcia Vanessa Tapia (Younger sister), Gene Henry Isaac Tapia (Youngest brother)

Position in Team: Coordinator

Pixie: Livy, Pixie of Messages

Likes: Shiny objects, elaborate designs, architecture, siblings, warm weather

Dislikes: Getting hands dirty, cold weather, parents, responsibility, arguments

Appearance: Diaspro stands at 5’7”, though she’s often taller thanks to the heels she frequently wears. She has pale blonde hair that falls in tight curls down her back and reaches her hips. Her eyes are a warm mix of orange and brown. Her skin is lightly tanned. If she lived on Earth, she would have been born as half Latina and half white, and her skin tone shows such. Diaspro has what some might assume to be a perfect figure, but she has never found it to be good enough due to the nagging of her parents. Her hips are defined, but she doesn’t have much of a chest, which is her greatest insecurity regarding her body. After growing up with the expectation of perfection, Diaspro grew to hate her body’s flaws since she feared she wasn’t good enough. She often wears loose clothing to hide her true appearance when she’s given the option to do so. However, she is often unable to decide on what she wishes to wear without outside influence, meaning she frequently wears tight, lengthy dresses to show off her figure against her will. Diaspro’s favorite colors are all warm, ranging from red to orange, yellow, and pink. She wears cream as an accent color.

Personality: Diaspro initially comes off as a self-centered young woman who cares little for others. However, such couldn’t be further from the truth, and she only puts up this mask as a way of hiding her true self. Diaspro was pushed to fit a given mold from a young age, making her into a talented actress and increasing her ability to hide her true feelings. Behind the facade, Diaspro is a sweet person who longs to see others reach their full potential. She is selfless when it comes to those she cares about and would do anything to see them happy. She tends to be a bit sarcastic at times, using it as both a defense mechanism and a way of breaking the ice around new people she doesn’t know as well. Diaspro struggles greatly with her self-image, always thinking about what others imagine her to be. She tends to push herself too far to be liked by everyone at times, which can exhaust her emotionally and physically. She can obsess sometimes over small mistakes due to her wish to be perfect, putting her in an unhealthy box of self-hatred in her pursuit of perfection. She wants to be the person her parents raised her to be, but she never seems to be good enough for them or her own expectations, making her self-esteem low. However, Diaspro hides all of this behind the mask of a quiet girl who can easily fit any situation to her needs. She’s resourceful and smart despite the facade she puts up. After years of hearing that she was only valuable for who she could be rather than she was, Diaspro grew lonely. She is desperate for companionship and can get rather clingy when it comes to people who treat her well. She grows defensive when it comes to those she cares about, meaning she can easily be manipulated by bad influences if they are nice enough to her. She has a manipulative side, something her parents taught to her, but she refuses to use it unless she believes the situation requires it. Overall, Diaspro is a kind young woman who longs to make friends despite her struggles with perfectionism and low self-esteem.

Background: Diaspro was born as the fourth child and third daughter of Alexandra and Royce Tapia, two nobles of Eraklyon. She had immense expectations on her head from the moment of her birth, as even if she wasn’t meant to inherit the family’s territory and power, all children of the Tapia line are expected to make a name for themselves. Soon after Diaspro was born, her parents decided what that name was going to be, and they set her up to marry the future king of Eraklyon, Sky. Diaspro hated this idea despite getting along well enough with Sky. While they were friends, he had little interest in her, and she had little interest in men as a whole. Even so, she acted as if she enjoyed it to make her parents happy, as she hated the idea of hurting them for her own ‘selfish’ desires. Alexandra and Royce shaped Diaspro into being a perfect noble alongside the rest of her siblings. They firmly told her who she was going to be, leaving little room for input from Diaspro herself. While her parents’ rule was oppressive, she still found joy in her siblings and the time she got alone. She began to sneak out to find out more about the greater world, realizing that she wanted to be a fairy along the way. Of course, Diaspro kept her training secret, only ever vocalizing her interest in the ‘noble sport’ of fencing when she got older. Diaspro grew closer with Sky and Brandon over time, as Sky had similar aspirations of a different life like Diaspro did and Brandon was simply kind to her. Sky and Diaspro encouraged one another every step of the way when their parents refused to do so, fostering a strong bond between them that only grew with time. However, despite their attempts to support each other, it wasn’t enough to keep Diaspro from suffering under her parents’ ideals. She was pushed to be perfect always, forced to engage in diets when she became ‘too heavy’. Diaspro grew to hate her body and all its imperfections over the years, though she longed to love herself despite her parents’ actions. When she hit fourteen years of age, Diaspro made a promise to herself to rebel against what her parents wanted for her. She did her best to love her body regardless of its flaws and accepted her sexuality. She became much more free internally, but she had to hide such behind her mask of indifference as her parents had instructed. Diaspro was much more free with Sky, and she was the one to give him the final push to enroll in Red Fountain despite his father’s concerns. He was unsure about leaving her behind, but she was happy to see him off. After Sky left, Diaspro made her own plans for a new future with her siblings, who all wanted to see unique paths. She wound up finding her new future when the Red Fountain festival happened, when she managed to convince her parents to let her enroll at Alfea in the year to come.

Other: Diaspro enjoys designing her own clothes every once in a while, but she’s too flustered to share her ideas with anyone. She has a particular interest in architecture and antiques as well, and she has countless books on both subjects. Diaspro has bought countless antiques to restore them to their former glory, leaving her room cluttered with knicknacks. She’s a bit of a bookworm as well and reads a lot more than one might expect by just looking at her. Diaspro enjoys fencing and is perhaps the best out of the girls when it comes to swordplay.

Position in Team:

Diaspro has talent in a little bit of everything, particularly diplomacy and tactics. She is able to act as a secondary tactician when need be, coordinating everything perfectly when such is required. She’s also strong with talking out situations due to her parents’ affinity for politics passing onto her. She can subtly manipulate a situation to fit her whims when she finds it necessary, but she does her best to hide such. Diaspro acts as the middle ground between many fields and can fit any role needed.

Dynamics:

Bloom: Diaspro and Bloom’s relationship didn’t exactly start well, as they were both incredibly upset with the truth about Sky. However, that changed over time, and they began to put aside their differences upon realizing they were much more similar than they initially realized. Diaspro often helps Bloom to get out her pent-up rage at the world while Bloom shows Diaspro how to stop hiding her true self. While both still have issues, they are helping each other through them slowly.

Stella: Contrary to popular belief, Diaspro and Stella have a rather positive relationship. At first, they weren’t sure of how to approach each other, but they did become close over time, finding common ground in fashion. They became close due to not only fashion but also self-confidence issues of the past. They eternally cheer each other on and are happy to help one another through dark times. Their personalities are similar and mesh incredibly well, making for a positive relationship.

Flora: Flora was the first one to reach out to Diaspro when the latter was looking for a place to belong. Diaspro welcomed Flora’s kindness and grew to care about her over time. Diaspro wasn’t sure of how to approach Flora in the beginning, but when she realized Flora only wanted to help her become a better person and make friends, Diaspro began to trust her. Flora helped Diaspro to realize and openly declare that she deserved better than what life was giving her, greatly boosting Diaspro’s confidence.

Musa: Musa and Diaspro can both be somewhat confrontational due to the horrible way the universe has treated them over the years, but they are both steadily improving thanks to the other. Musa showed Diaspro how to relax and do things for herself instead of others. Diaspro grew to be incredibly authentic with Musa, something none of the girls could have expected. Musa also found out that Diaspro loved classical music, allowing them to grow closer over that.

Tecna: Diaspro and Tecna didn’t talk much at first, though they did grow closer over time. Diaspro encouraged Tecna to open up about her feelings after she had been part of the group for a while. It took a lot of work to finally get Tecna to embrace the emotional after years of hiding her true self, but Diaspro managed to get it done. Even if they don’t interact much, when they do, it’s often a meaningful conversation about how they are both steadily improving themselves emotionally.

Aisha: Diaspro and Aisha have similar backgrounds due to suppressive parents and arranged marriages, allowing them to connect easily after they met. Diaspro was incredibly outspoken and angry about Aisha’s arranged marriage and did everything in her power to prevent it. After Aisha’s marriage was called off, Diaspro remained close with her, always pursuing the ability to show their true selves against the world. Diaspro also acts as a source of comfort for Aisha when the latter gets upset about Anne near the anniversary of her death.

Roxy: Diaspro struggled most with reaching out to Roxy when the latter began to think about joining the group. Diaspro was far from sure about how to approach Roxy, but after a while, she figured out how to talk to her. Roxy’s exploration of sexuality was something Diaspro could sympathize with after doing the same in her younger years. Diaspro became a voice of comfort for Roxy when she felt like she didn’t fit in, and Diaspro encouraged her not to make the same mistakes she did once upon a time.

Sky: Sky and Diaspro hold a very close relationship after growing up together. While neither is interested romantically in the other, they care a lot for each other and will stick together through thick and thin. Sky and Diaspro openly encourage one another’s romantic endeavors and tell the other to find happiness wherever it may be. While both were unsure of if putting the other in danger was alright, they became more trusting of each other after a while and relied on one another greatly in battle.

Brandon: Diaspro isn’t as close with Brandon as she is with Sky, but she still gets along with him. Brandon and Diaspro have similar snarky senses of humor. They can both get flirtatious casually with others they know, and they can have competitions over their somewhat flirty natures when they feel like it. They also team up to tell embarrassing stories about Sky from when they were kids, joking about how they enjoy to see the prim and proper prince get flustered.

Riven: To put it simply, Diaspro does not get along with Riven. She doesn’t like his spiteful way of behaving simply because it reminds her of the person her parents tried to groom her into. Diaspro tends to tell Riven to be better in a very snarky way, which can cause Riven to get confrontational. In most instances, Diaspro simply isn’t in the mood to deal with him and his attitude, and she leaves him alone since she knows talking to him isn’t worth getting upset over.

Timmy: Diaspro admires Timmy for how open he is about his authentic self regardless of what other people think of him. Even if he’s far from being popular, he still proudly shows who he is, something Diaspro wishes she had the guts to do when she was growing up. Timmy picks up on the subtle differences of Diaspro growing to accept herself more and tells her how proud he is of her in private, something that makes Diaspro much happier than one might originally expect.

Helia: Diaspro and Helia don’t talk much due to the latter’s introverted nature. They don’t go out of their way to talk to each other, instead mostly interacting in a group setting. Diaspro does talk to him every once in a while about his art and poetry, finding such subjects to be incredibly intriguing. They don’t hate each other, but they don’t particularly get along well either, being more of acquaintances than close friends. Despite this, they respect each other greatly in silence.

Nabu: Diaspro wasn’t sure of how to feel about Nabu at first. However, she grew to care about him after a while when she heard that he had been forced into a loveless marriage as well. She doesn’t ask him much about it, but she does appreciate him for encouraging Aisha when they were growing up. They have a silent mutual respect due to their similar situations of the past, but they don’t voice their concerns about one another often since they don’t know each other well enough to do so confidently.

Alexandra: Diaspro does not think highly of her mother at all. Alexandra was insistent on grooming her daughter into a perfect future ruler, not seeing any value in what Diaspro believed at all. Diaspro hated this fact about her mother and never told Alexandra anything she valued highly. Alexandra’s heavily controlling nature affected Diaspro and all her siblings. Diaspro prefers to avoid her mother and has no wishes to reconnect with her, thinking she deserves better.

Royce: Royce wasn’t as active in Diaspro’s grooming as his wife was, but Diaspro hates him for how passive he was. Royce didn’t act against Alexandra to help his children, instead encouraging her behavior. Diaspro holds less of a grudge against him, but she still finds him to be deeply disgusting for thinking such manipulative tactics were alright. Royce claims Diaspro is incorrect in thinking he did anything to hurt her, not wanting to admit wrongdoing no matter what.

Allegra: Allegra took all of her siblings under her wing, but she had a lot of responsibility on her shoulders due to being the future head of the house. She told Diaspro to fake being perfect until she had the chance to get away, encouraging Diaspro to follow her dreams always. Diaspro found Allegra to be a great source of inspiration, looking up to her throughout her entire childhood. Allegra was proud beyond words when Diaspro began to attend Alfea, and the two exchange texts and calls often.

Benjamin: Benjamin was turned against his siblings from a young age due to Alexandra’s behavior. He followed her directions most, and he was often used as the example of an ideal child to compare Diaspro and her siblings to. While Diaspro doesn’t hate him for it, they still don’t talk much. Deep down, Benjamin hates being used as the example of perfection, but he struggles with saying so due to how he was raised. Diaspro understands why he is the way he is, but it still frustrates her that she is seen as inferior to him.

Cecily: Diaspro and Cecily are the two siblings closest in age, and they get along rather well. Cecily was treated as the misfit of the bunch due to her clumsy, trickster nature, and she often suffered as a result. Cecily still insisted that Diaspro make a strong life for herself. Cecily is only part of the family because her parents believe that disowning her would cause too much drama. Cecily and Diaspro both suffer from self-esteem issues, which they actively try to help each other through.

Edward: Edward was raised to be a second iteration of Benjamin, though he often failed in his endeavors. Diaspro and Edward can sympathize in feeling inferior to their older siblings, though they don’t talk about it much. Edward, much like Diaspro, feels as if he is a pathetic imitation of what he should be, causing him to be self-loathing to an unhealthy degree. Edward slipped into depression not long after Diaspro left, but he is still supported by his sister no matter what.

Fiora: Alexandra and Royce never took interest in Fiora, always thinking of her as being unable to go anywhere. Fiora was born without the ability to speak and communicated through sign language. Diaspro always made an effort to communicate with Fiora even when others didn’t, and Diaspro is incredibly protective of her. Fiora dreams of following in Diaspro’s footsteps and becoming a fairy, something Diaspro openly encourages her to try and do against their parents’ wishes.

Gene: Gene is the sibling Diaspro is most distant with. He was young when she left for Alfea, only being about five years old, but he was frequently compared to her and the other siblings. Even from a young age, he was thought of as lesser, and while he is too young to understand, he knows it doesn’t mean anything good. On visits home, Diaspro does all she can to encourage him and help him to feel better about life, even if it will be a long time before he fully comprehends her actions.

Livy: Livy’s clumsiness reminds Diaspro of Cecily, and due to Disapro’s positive relationship with her sister, she and Livy clicked quickly. Livy knows she is a bit of a mess but shows herself openly regardless and encourages Diaspro to do so as well. While it is a work in progress, Diaspro is growing to care less when she makes a mistake. Livy claims that if Diaspro doesn’t get mad when other people are imperfect, she shouldn’t get upset when she makes mistakes, something Diaspro attempts to live by.

#winx club #winx rewrite #digital's winx rewrite #winx #diaspro #winx diaspro

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caustic-curses · 5 years ago

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HPHM Profile: Corbyn Reyes

Thanks to @hogwartsmysterystory for this new profile template!

IDENTITY

Name: Corbyn Samil Reyes

Gender: Cisgender Male

Age: 16

Birth Date: 11/15/1972

Species: Valravaan

Blood Status: Half-Blood

Sexuality: Asexual

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Ethnicity: Slavic

Nationality: Serbian

Residence: Bristol, UK

Myer Briggs Personality Type: ISTJ

THE MAGE

1st Wand: Pine | Dragon heartstring core | 12 ¾" in length | Rigid flexibility

The straight-grained pine wand always chooses an independent, individual master who may be perceived as a loner, intriguing and perhaps mysterious. Pine wands enjoy being used creatively, and unlike some others, will adapt without protest to new methods and spells. Many wandmakers insist that pine wands are able to detect and perform best for owners who are destined for long lives, and I can confirm this in as much as I have never personally known the master of a pine wand to die young. The pine wand is one of those that is most sensitive to non-verbal magic.

As a rule, dragon heartstrings produce wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. Dragon wands tend to learn more quickly than other types. While they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner. The dragon wand tends to be easiest to turn to the Dark Arts, though it will not incline that way of its own accord. It is also the most prone of the three cores to accidents, being somewhat temperamental.

2nd Wand: Ebony| Dragon heartstring core.| 11 ¼ “| Unyielding

This jet-black wand wood has an impressive appearance and reputation, being highly suited to all manner of combative magic, and to Transfiguration. Ebony is happiest in the hand of those with the courage to be themselves. Frequently non-conformist, highly individual or comfortable with the status of outsider, ebony wand owners have been found both among the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix and among the Death Eaters. In my experience, the ebony wand’s perfect match is one who will hold fast to his or her beliefs, no matter what the external pressure, and will not be swayed lightly from their purpose.

Animagus: White Cat

Misc Magical Abilities: Parselmouth (currently unaware)

Boggart Form: Being in a hospital gown gaunt and ignored

Riddikulus Form: Dog in an outfit prancing around

Amortentia: The scent of patchouli, rose and teak wood tease the senses while the note of vanilla adds excitement (spicy, the thrill of late summer, mountain flowers)

Amortentia: the earthy scent of a meadow, lavender & coral rose, and the faded scent of butterbeer (Tulip)

Patronus: Cat

Patronus Memory: Camping late at night with Jakov and creating images from the stars

Mirror of Erised: Seeing his mother there, holding him close with a delighted smile of approval and acceptance.

Specialized/Favourite Spells: Caterwauling charm, Confundo, and Diffindo. His favorite is the disillusionment charm.

APPEARANCE

Faceclaim: Ivan Vuckovic

Game Appearance:

Height: 5’4

Weight: 135

Physique: Average

Eye Colour: dark forest green (D20 on the 1998 eye chart) Left eye is 3s lighter as he is becoming blind in that eye from a spell gone wrong

Hair Colour: deep brown with natural mahogany highlights (noticeable in direct sunlight) styled via French crop with a gradual fade.

Skin Tone: warm ivory

Inventory: He wears a dragon-shaped pendant and a dark brown wooden wrist cuff given to him by Jakov, his wand, and a pair of glasses

ALLEGIANCES

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Affiliations/Organizations: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Professions: Aurologist and Herbalist

HOGWARTS INFORMATION

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

Charms: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

DADA: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Flying: ★★★★★★★★★☆

Herbology: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆

History of Magic: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Potions: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆

Transfiguration: ★★★★★★★★☆☆

Electives:

Care Of Magical Creatures: ★★★★★★★★☆☆

Divination: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆

Quidditch: Chaser

Extra-Curricular: Gardening Club

Favorite Professors:

Professor McGonagall -She takes on the role of a mother figure in Corbyn’s eyes. She is stern but only out of a desire to see him succeed. Her admiration for his accomplishments is thus hard-won and genuine.

Professor Sprout - Her gentle nature and willingness to encourage his interest in herbology quickly made her one of his favorite teachers. She is patient and kind, he can always count on her class to be his favorite.

Least Favourite Professors:

Professor Snape - No matter what he does, it’s never good enough. No matter how hard he studies he continually feels inferior. He came to school hoping to escape that type of nonsense.

Professor Rakepick- She’s suspicious. Her methods of teaching don’t sit well with him and it seems as if there are more at stake than just a few house points.

RELATIONSHIPS

Brother: Jakov Callum Reyes | (21yo) 11/271967- Sagittarius

Seer although he never told his family (mother had suspicions)

Woodcarver-aspires to be a wand designer

Is aware that Corbyn is his half-brother

Biological Father: Haedon Knezevic | (35 yo) 4/17/1951 -Aries

Full-blooded Valravan -began life as a raven

Magic is gathered from outside sources rather than from within like wizards

He was locked away under the watchful eye of the Legacies which prevented him from being a part of Corbyn’s early childhood.

Father: Ezekial Reyes | (41yo) 5/9/1947 -Taurus

He married Lilith despite her indiscretions when in his late twenties.

Despite not being his true father, Ezekiel took on the role without question to become the parental figure Corbyn adores. As a role model, he endeavored to teach Corbyn virtues. He can only pray that they stuck with him at Hogwarts.

He was gone often and for long periods of time due to his work. This field of work has caused him to become sick but he keeps this as a secret.

Mother: Lilith Reyes | (38yo) 2/25/1948 - Pisces

Cheated on Ezekiel with Haedon becoming pregnant with Corbyn. He functions as a bitter reminder of everything she lost and of what she could have had.

Lilith is an Ilvermorny Alumni

When Jakov disappeared, Lilith’s smile went with him. A bit of her spirit broke and Corbyn was left with the aftermath of distance and anger.

Love Interest: Tulip Karasu

Best Friends: Barnaby Lee, Tulip Karasu & Chiara Loboscu

Rival: Merula Snyde & Diego Caplan

Enemy: Frith Fuilteach & Seth Drystan

Dormmates: Rowan Khanna & Laurent King

Pets: Midi- Tawny owl

Closest Canon Friends: Penny Haywood, Rowan Khanna, Barnaby Lee, Charlie Weasley

Closest MC Friends:

Laurent King (@slytherin-puffskein)

Dahlia Goldman (@a-bear-at-hogwarts)

Samuel Gabehart (@hphm-ravenclaw-writings)

BACKGROUND/HISTORY

While Ezekiel was away on business trips, Jakov often took over the role of parent. As an older sibling, he was expected to make Corbyn mind the rules while also helping his mother. The more often that this occurred, the more that Jakov began to resent his half-brother. The games they played became rougher and bordered on dangerous. Jakov was a teen pushed too early into adulthood and Corbyn was the scapegoat.

Despite this, Corbyn admired Jakov and looked up to him. To him, there were tense times but that did not diminish the genuine fun that they had. He loved Jakov as did their mother. So when news began to circulate about him opening the vaults, their mother was worried something might happen. This was proven correct when they received that fated letter. She was heartbroken. Jakov left and took her maternal love. Corbyn was left with bitterness, resentment, and emotional manipulation. It was here that he realized vulnerability is deadly.

The Reyes had only recently moved to Bristol, UK when they received the news. Corbyn was 9 years old when he realized his brother would not be coming home. Rumors regarding Jakov joining You-Know-Who or his possible death were hard to hear but he continued to defend his brother to the point of coming home bruised and bloodied.

It was debated but Corbyn was allowed to go to Hogwarts in 1984. It wasn’t because his mother was scared of losing him. It was because she was sure he was a squib because he had only a few magical mishaps. She did not want to be further embarrassed by him.

During the first few years at Hogwarts, he befriended several students who demonstrated that vulnerability can be okay and it is sometimes needed. Not only did he learn some interesting spells but he learned of secrets and rumors that caused him to seek out the truth and eventually befriend Chiara.

PERSONALITY

Loyal: This is to a certain extent. Even if you are friends, he might not be loyal until you’ve proven yourself to be worthy of that loyalty. Sure, it is a bit of a test but once that loyalty is won, it is golden.

Self-sufficient: Due to the nature of how he was raised, Corbyn learned early on that the one person he can rely on is himself. Thus, he has a hard time asking for help in any matter. He prefers to solve the problem himself rather than be indebted to anyone.

Clever: Witty. Sarcastic. Corbyn uses words to cut down others or to trick them for profit. He does this because it's one way to look out for himself. If he can trick you, he will continue to do so for as long as possible.

Vindictive: Being a jealous individual isn’t a good look but he hasn’t been able to change. When someone crosses him or especially someone he has befriended (see loyal), then he’s out to assure that this never happens again. He will find your weaknesses and force you to endure them.

Obstinate: While this can sometimes be seen as negative, he is stubborn in the sense that he knows what he stands for and what he wants out of life. He is headstrong so it makes convincing him otherwise to be a headache.

MISC

Likes: intense spices, herbology, pranking his friends, the idea of courting

Dislikes: bananas, excessively sweet things, The Black Lake, not knowing how to swim

Hobbies: working with magical creatures, cooking/grilling, gambling

#corbyn reyes #hphm profile #about my mc #about corbyn #corbyn reyes profile

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petalsbloomed-a · 5 years ago

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VERY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY !! RULES. repost , don’t reblog ! tag 10 ! good luck ! TAGGED. stolen !!! TAGGING. anyone who wants to do this tbh cuz this is long as shit and i dont want anyone to do this who might not be able to aljdhfskjdhkj

BASICS. FULL NAME : galo thymos NICKNAME : himbo, idiot, rookie, newbie, #1 firefighting idiot AGE : 21 BIRTHDAY : june 30 ETHNIC GROUP : japanese (+ korean / western european) NATIONALITY : american LANGUAGE / S : english / japanese / studied french and spanish SEXUAL ORIENTATION : demisexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : biromantic RELATIONSHIP STATUS : single HOME TOWN / AREA : promeopolis (i envision this being around nyc / tri-state area) CURRENT HOME : lives with older sister and niece PROFESSION : firefighter, undergraduate student

PHYSICAL. SKIN : pretty fair tan, but he sometimes appears a little darker than usual. his skin does a strange thing where it changes shade in different lighting. his skin is usually smooth, but right after getting finished with work, he sometimes is covered in dust and appears somewhat dried out. EYES : slightly upturned, deep-set, wide and somewhat of an almond shape. irises are usually very round, and are a bluish-cyan color. pupils often alight with mischief. in intense lighting, you can see a little red dot reflecting off his eyes. LIPS : pretty thin and nude, hard to notice. matches his skin tone very well. usually quite smooth. tends to get chapped after working. COMPLEXION : pretty fair, but in different lighting, he can look a lot tanner than what he really is. BLEMISHES : he has a few moles here and there, but overall his skin is fairly clear and clean. he doesn’t suffer from acne nearly as much as he did when he was in grade school. SCARS : he has some tiny, barely noticeable acne scars on his face, chin, and neck. the most noticeable ones are on his left arm from when he was practically set alight by a burnish flame. these are thick and quote coarse, and can cause some discomfort when touched. he also has a very small nick in his left ear, which was how his sister identified him when he found her after being separated from their family after the burnish incident when he was a kid. TATTOOS : an arrow that goes right below the nape of his neck to the middle of his back. the point is at about the small of his back, and there are a few decorations along the arrow. HEIGHT : 6′0, 183 cm WEIGHT : 165 lbs, ~75 kg BUILD : very muscular, quite athletic. very beefy arms, strong chest, well-built abdominals. however, his thighs and waist are pretty thin and trim. FEATURES : his most distinct features are his dramatic haircut and scars on his left arm, as well as the small white line on the outer helix of his left ear. his chest and shoulders are also quite broad in comparison to his rather thin waist. ALLERGIES : slight peanut allergy, dust, pollen. USUAL HAIR STYLE : undercut with a dramatic, spiky blue mohawk. USUAL FACE LOOK : mischievous smile or smirk; sometimes looks a bit wistful, like he’s thinking about something. USUAL CLOTHING : is normally shirtless, wearing thick red firefighter pants with a yellow “3.” most often wears black rubber boots, black gloves, ear lobe piercings, and an industrial piercing. sometimes wears a black tee-shirt.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : spiders, bugs, needles, being in love (kind of), losing his sister or niece, finding out his parents are dead. ASPIRATION / S : to continue his firefighting career, to receive a masters in emergency medical technology / fire prevention & safety technology. POSITIVE TRAITS : brave, caring, friendly, modest. NEGATIVE TRAITS : daring, reckless, sensitive, over-attachment. MBTI : entertainer (ESFP-A) ZODIAC : cancer TEMPEREMENT : choleric / sanguine SOUL TYPE / S : performer ANIMALS : zebra VICE HABIT / S : twiddling thumbs, jiggling leg (usually the right), twirling & playing with hair, biting nails, chewing lips, swearing, sighing, pen clicking. FAITH : none; would consider himself agnostic. GHOSTS ? : yes. AFTERLIFE ? : not sure. REINCARNATION ? : not sure, but leaning towards no. ALIENS ? : yes. POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : independent, opinions slightly more left-leaning EDUCATION LEVEL : graduate student

FAMILY. FATHER : nikanor thymos MOTHER : agape thymos SIBLINGS : danai thymos (older sister) EXTENDED FAMILY : james (ex-brother-in-law), aria (niece) NAME MEANING / S : his first name is of an unknown meaning, but it could mean “from gaul” in greek. his last name comes from the greek word “thumos”, which means “spiritedness” or “the need of recognition.” HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : not that we know of, i think ???

FAVORITES. BOOK : harry potter / hunger games MOVIE : the lion king 5 SONGS : rick astley - never gonna give you up, lady gaga - born this way, beyonce - countdown, ariana grande - god is a woman, pitbull - timber (feat. kesha) DEITY : zeus HOLIDAY : christmas MONTH : july SEASON : summer PLACE : his bedroom / the lounge at work WEATHER : partly cloudy SOUND : meditation sounds SCENT / S : coffee, flowers, fresh baked desserts, fresh pizza, light cologne TASTE / S : coffee, vanilla cake, milk chocolate, parmesan cheese, green tea anything tbh FEEL / S : soft blankets, comfy pillows, loose-fitting clothes ANIMAL / S : dogs NUMBER : 13 COLORS : teal blue / flame red

EXTRA. TALENTS : piano, singing, writing, linguistics, thinking quickly, firefighting BAD AT : drawing (sort of), getting himself organized, following orders (sometimes) TURN ONS : kindness, sensitivity, acceptance, openness, agreeableness TURN OFFS : irresponsibility, lack of free time, ignorance HOBBIES : piano, singing, writing (stories, poems, etc), karate TROPES : ambiguously gay, antiquated linguistics, broken tears, calling your attacks, the chosen one, firemen are hot, going commando, hunk, idiot hero, innocently insensitive, large ham, mr. fanservice, oblivious to love, the protagonist, rookie red ranger, scars are forever, shonen hair, you gotta have blue hair (found here, there’s a lot more actually) QUOTES : “medals are made to be awarded to and from people who deserve them.” / “you can’t just kill for no reason!” / “[i’m] the universe’s #1 firefighting idiot!”

MUN QUESTIONS. Q1 : if you could write your character your way in their own movie , what would it be called , what style would it be filmed in , and what would it be about ? A1 : honestly??? i think i would keep it the way it is, BUT i would like to have seen some more canonical information about galo’s family. as of right now, we know that kray saved him after his family was attacked by the burnish. if i were to direct a new movie about galo, i would focus it mainly on his family. Q2 : what would their soundtrack / score sound like ? A2 : i think it would be a mix of melancholic music as well as more upbeat stuff. on my blog’s main page there are links in the sidebar to both a soundtrack playlist as well as a pop music playlist; i definitely think it’s fair that a variety of genres would suit him and his experiences. Q3 : why did you start writing this character ? A3 : when i first watched promare, i was instantly drawn to this buffoon himbo. i’ve always had a thing for upbeat, energetic characters who are also quite caring and a bit dumb (which yes galo is very smart but he has his moments). while their personalities differ greatly (despite having the same personality type), he reminds me a lot of lance from vld, who i absolutely adore as well (and i also rp him too oops) Q4 : what first attracted you to this character ? A4 : again, probably his personality. while i’m not as energetic and upbeat as galo and i have a very, very different personality type than him, i feel like i definitely do understand him. i understand why he feels he needs to be overly confident, and i also have my moments where i just need to storm off and be alone. god i could write paragraphs and paragraphs about why i like galo but i wanna keep it short and sweet and just stick with those two points, which i consider to be the biggest points. Q5 : describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse. A5 : look, i know i said i liked confidence, but something about galo that annoys me is the fact that he can often seem too confident. like yeah he seemed pretty humble in that pizza scene at the beginning of the movie, but i can’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance towards people who put themselves right into the center of attention and be all like “yeah i know i’m great.” like my boy i love you but do u have to announce urself every time u appear on the scene??? and pls stop being so reckless u honestly might die too soon one of these days we want u to be around for us to enjoy u Q6 : what do you have in common with your muse ? A6 : i definitely feel like we both have our moments where we just need some peace and quiet. of course, everyone needs this, but when galo talked about running off when he was pissed reminded me of me; i tend to go and cool off and vent to myself if i’m annoyed about something. we’re both naturally people-oriented and love to be around others, even though galo likes being the center of attention a little bit more than myself. Q7 : how does your muse feel about you ? A7 : in the sense that if galo were real, i honestly think we would get along fairly well. we have different ways of dealing with things, but we have similar habits and personality traits. however when it comes to rp blogs, while i do like to headcanon things about my muses that mirror my own opinions and beliefs, i do consider the mun/muse relationship fairly symbiotic. we as real people can learn so much from fictional characters and in how we play them, and of course, the mun will determine some things about the muse that will deter from canon. Q8 : what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ? A8 : i just started this blog and have had very minimal interactions, so it’s hard to say ! i’d say that an interaction with a kray muse would be the most interesting. part of me wants galo to forgive kray and to have a better relationship with him post-movie canon, but there’s still so much about galo and kray’s relationship pre-movie as well; what was their relationship like? was kray like a father to galo? how can i describe the psychological mindset that galo had after finding out that kray betrayed him? there’s so much about these two that i really want to discover and look at, while of course providing my own insight (cuz that’s what muns do, right?). Q9 : what gives you inspiration to write your muse ? A9 : i like to study galo’s actions in the movie, and try to find the underlying cause of the actions he takes. however, when it comes to headcanons, i will often think of a scene or an idea in my head and then internally apply it to galo and see if it works. this is usually what kindles my writing fire: the thoughts that often rush through my head. Q10 : how long did this take you to complete ? A10 : like two whole days lmao im so slow

#heart of fire and soul of passion. (headcanon)#noah rambles. (out of character)

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lethe-rpg · 5 years ago

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Antoine-Jean Chaudon was a well-known philosopher during the French Enlightenment era, famous for his works which poked fun at religions and aristocrats. Antoine-Jean was born in Paris in 1719 as the only surviving child of two commoners. His mother had advocated for his self-interests, giving him the freedom to partake in whatever pleased him while his father’s approach was on the opposite end of the spectrum. At the age of 11, his mother died during childbirth along with her baby. Left with only his father, Antoine-Jean was forced into the teachings of physics. It was an attempt to get his son on a different path towards success that the family have never experienced. Antoine-Jean’s father enrolled him into classes and even found him a job as an assistant to a famous physicist. What his father didn’t know, however, was that when he thought his son was at work, he was actually doing what he loved most – writing. Antoine-Jean wrote many books and poems in his life, all on the basis of criticizing the French King and spreading scandalous news that would ultimately and repeatedly get him exiled from Paris. The first time he was exiled and imprisoned in the Bastille was in 1726 for writing derogatory names for personages that would otherwise bring them shame. Antoine-Jean committed to his writing aspirations, even after the hurdles of his father’s objections and the continuum of being kicked out of Paris. Even if the aristocracy and monarchy didn’t appreciate his work, the rest of the public did. Antoine-Jean’s writing career was promoted from the growth of a novice of politics based on the informed public. His thoughts and public opinions became so popular, he was invited to book clubs and coffee shops to speak about it. Soon, his ideas of how society in France should work and his attack on the Roman Catholic Church quickly spread across France. His libelous works on French Kings got removed from access to the public, along with his permanent removal to England.

In England, Antoine-Jean befriended many merchants and other philosophers, and soon, he got involved with trading and investments. There, his books and satires weren’t burned or censored. While he made money off the sale of his ideas and books, most of his growing fortune came from taking advantage and finding loopholes of the government’s attempt to fund their country. Royal patronage, moneylending, and financial speculations were some few routes he embarked on to fortune, often skirting the bound of propriety just like his works. Learning the ins and outs of trading and finding the weaknesses of their lotteries, Antoine-Jean did exactly what his father wanted – became successful. Antoine-Jean began investing in estates and building small communities around England and in the outskirts of Paris in the case he gets exiled, which occurred frequently. After an influential aristocrat mocked Antoine-Jean for having commoners as parents, Antoine-Jean took up dueling training to challenge him to a duel. Hearing about this, he was thrown into the Bastille once again. His several exiles from Paris also stemmed from sleeping with many of the aristocrats’ wives which forced him to find new homes in the small communities he created. In 1748, Antoine-Jean thought a peace offering would be signed in to existence when aristocrats offered to meet him in his town in Strasbourg. His disdain and complicated past with them were not enough to get him to immediately question their motives. Without hesitation when it comes to offerings of wine, Antoine-Jean took the drink from them, downing the wine with poison in it. It was their revenge for him starting affairs with their wives. If it wasn’t for a local townspeople who found him, he would’ve died by the hands of the people he hated most, the people that were publicly stained by his words. The local townspeople had bitten him, turning him into a vampire that he later fully utilized the new identity of. Words quickly spread about Antoine-Jean’s death, which was concluded with a good mix of celebration and mourning throughout France.

With his tomb built in Paris, Antoine-Jean had to change his name and identity, starting with dropping the name his parents had given him and changing it to his friend’s name, Nicolas. Nicolas spent his new, captivating life traveling around Europe but never staying anywhere too long should someone would recognize him. He kept his involvement in the markets ongoing, finding those loopholes that would benefit him. He capitalized on his new powers and skills by scaring nobles and pulling pranks on them. With the French Revolution at the height of formulating a new identity for France, Nicolas returned home to the communities he built. He provided them his protection, a team effort with other locals who shared the same identity as him of vampires, to protect other locals from the effects of war. He cultivated his lands and became the intelligent benevolence beloved by this townspeople. His later years are spent being involved in the black market throughout Europe, finding his wealth through corrupt methods and shrewd money handling. Even as Nicolas and not Antoine-Jean, he was still an outspoken enemy of every injustice of religious intolerance and the inequality of power between authority and the people. He continued writing books and poems, though keeping those to himself in case that people can connect those new works to his old ones as Antoine-Jean. He found a new hobby outside of writing and growing money in which he attended University classes to call out professors on their false information on history, one that he had lived through. He attended Philosophy classes to hear what is taught about Antoine-Jean just to correct them before their students. Nicolas has a reputation throughout Europe, which he tried to avoid, but his vain desire for attention and obsession with being heard made it impossible. His outspoken manner in the black markets left a trial on him, giving him trouble and threats that would ultimately drive him out of Europe and into Lethe by 2018. Finding the value in land in this town in Washington along with the protection he can utilize, Nicolas made the place his new home. He invested in some estate and built a nightclub, combining all his vices – partying, alcohol, drugs, and making money – into one place. With his belief of religions being a divisive measure and the only way to unify people is to allow them to act in their own pursuit of happiness and self-interests, he named his nightclub “Church”. Occupied with his club, he doesn’t spend his time and effort indulged in the politics in that society.

#taken #taken male #taken vampire #theo james #nicholas chaudon

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nascentflash · 5 years ago

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never-ending survey: j’lihmu

RULES: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs!

tagged by:@violet-warder (thank you so much!)

tagging: honestly? anyone that wants to do it! (i don’t know who actually got tagged already) you are more than welcomed to tag me :>

BASICS.

FULL NAME : J’lihmu Rhatni

NICKNAME : Crimson, Li

AGE : 25

BIRTHDAY : 19th Sun of the Third Astral Moon (5/19)

ETHNIC GROUP : Miqo’te (Seeker of the Sun)/ Elezen (Wildwood)

NATIONALITY : Ul’Dahn

LANGUAGE / S : Common, a hit of Hingan/Doman (broken)

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Demisexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Panromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS : Taken (Single in some AUs)

HOME TOWN / AREA : Abalathia’s Spine/Sky Frost

CURRENT HOME : The Lavender Beds — a small home she bought herself.

PROFESSION : Hunter, mercenary, the good ol’ Warrior of Light resume being handed out.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : Naturally red with orange highlights.

EYES : A bright green.

FACE : Resting bitch face syndrome, always /annoyed, slightly round.

LIPS :Full, tinted with the same color as her eye paint.

COMPLEXION : Slightly tanned.

BLEMISHES :None.

SCARS : Littered across her body, reminder of the victories — or losses — she always came out alive.

TATTOOS : Tattoos litter her form, it is part of her tribe back home. Her arms are covered, legs, and back.

HEIGHT : 5′2″.

WEIGHT : 143lbs.

BUILD : Athletic.

FEATURES : Large, somewhat almond shaped eyes, small, slightly refined nose, both ears pierced and longer than the normal miqo’te.

ALLERGIES : None.

USUAL HAIR STYLE : When long — messy, unkempt until told otherwise. A large braid would encompass a portion of her hair, and the other wild and free. Sometimes in a large, messy bun when she’s working, or doing anything out of battle. Short — has now a tendency to keep it up to date with oils and minerals, making sure her hair is looking better than before. She would not have it in a braid, with the exception of one on her side or most of her hair swept away from her face.

USUAL FACE LOOK : Thick painted eye-makeup, whether blue (for her tribe) or red (for herself), lips tinted red. Besides that, she has no other make up on her whatsoever. It is rare to see her without her tribal paint unless she’s at home, relaxing.

USUAL CLOTHING : Leather, furs/coats, jewelry made from bones of bears long dead from her home. However, she adapts and changes depending where she is. Example; in Kugane, she is seen wearing more of their traditional outfits in some instances, but will always opt for the good ol’ tank top and shorts if she can get away with it. Yes, even under the kimono.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S : Failure (more so towards her WoL than anything else), falling to her Inner Beast, death— in a sense.

ASPIRATION / S : To achieve greatness and be worthy of remembrance outside the confines of her tribe. To eventually help lead a line of new, young warriors from her tribe.

POSITIVE TRAITS : Confident, resourceful, passionate, outspoken.

NEGATIVE TRAITS : Short-tempered, impatient, competitive, ruthless.

MBTI : ESTP-A/ESTP-T

ZODIAC : Azeyma (?T-Taurus?)

TEMPERAMENT : Choleric.

SOUL TYPE / S : Warrior.

ANIMALS : Bear.

VICE HABIT / S : Isolation, punching the wall a couple of times until her knuckles bleed in anger, running head on in battle and not tending to her wounds.

FAITH : Questionable, leaning on no beliefs.

GHOSTS ? : Yes.

AFTERLIFE ? : Believer.

REINCARNATION ? : Believer.

ALIENS ? : ????

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : The only time she gave a shit is when things started going down in Ishgard, just to be spiteful to Ul’Dah later honestly. Would care for her tribes political shenanigans, but thats about it.

EDUCATION LEVEL : Home-schooled in a sense. Her father and the elders of the village taught her all she knows to a point.

FAMILY.

FATHER : Close.

MOTHERS : Estranged, trying her best tm.

SIBLINGS : ...Complicated (Half-siblings are a handful)

EXTENDED FAMILY : Many, but she does not know her mother’s side, only her father’s.

NAME MEANING / S : Her name has no meaning, but, if you asked her father—J’zahlu would say it reminded him of the sun.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : No..?

FAVORITES.

BOOK : Intricate pages describing worlds she will never know.

DEITY : Azeyma.

HOLIDAY : Starlight Celebration.

MONTH : October.

SEASON : Autumn.

PLACE : Mountaintops with caves, deep within, a system of caves that lead you to the deepest part of home.

WEATHER : Sunny and cloudy days.

SOUND / S: The sound of metal clashing unto one another, the sound of rain hitting the earth.

SCENT / S : Damp caverns, burnt fur, perfumes.

TASTE / S : Sweets, orange, blood.

FEEL / S : Fur, cold floor, rough skin, broken wood.

ANIMAL / S : Bears, hunting hawks, paissa — who is now her son, don’t @ me

NUMBER : 18.

COLORS : Vermilion, black, gold, aquamarine, orange.

EXTRA.

TALENTS : Existing, hunting, beating people at bars, talking shit about powerful people because she knows she can’t be killed, headbutting is her specialty.

BAD AT : Loss, dancing, drinking — she will fall asleep or drunk fight, who knows.

TURN ONS : Men — large hands, broad build, scars, messy hair, independent. Women — someone who can kick ass, makes her laugh, independent.

TURN OFFS : Attention-seekers, arrogance, stupidity, carelessness — basically what she does what else is new.

HOBBIES :Hunting, people watching, trying to be a good blacksmith, mining — it’s therapeutic.

TROPES : Green-Eyed Redhead, Fiery Redhead, An Axe to Grind [idk a lot im baby]

QUOTES : “If one more noble attempts to be snotty with me, he’s about to get his ass ripped open by my axe.”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?

—The Lost Crucible, it would be filmed like a documentary, so to speak, switching from third POV [narrator] to first POV [dumb catgirl] that would be finding out about her tribe, and the trial young warriors go through.

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?

— Songs that remind you of a time when you’re one in nature; drums that give you that itch to move and dance to the beat, to appease the old and new gods, whatever you believe in. It would be of her home — where the village barely touches the heavens itself.

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?

— I did it in a way to sort of make a new oc from an old oc, so to speak. The OG version, as you could call it, is vastly different and I kept making lots of jokes with her when I name changed and eventually she just started to slowly build up.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?

— It’s a mixture of self insert, so finding a way to incorporate stuff into my own character is what sort of ... made her my lovable daughter. She’s not all self-insert, her attitude, her anger, her sorrow, her accomplishments and failures and imagines on how she would deal with X and Y is just absolutely fascinating for me and having a fierce miqo’te hailing from the snowy mountain tops of Abalathia’s Spine who’s tiny with a big axe is my aesthetic okay.

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

— Her desire to keep things quiet until the last second—mostly when it’s about her. Anything related to her life, her health, her problems, she’d rather deal with them alone. Even if there’s been major character improvement, there are some things she does not feel comfortable sharing, or letting people in. Her desire for more power so she can finally be at peace.

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?

— We are both stubborn bitches. However, she deals with things far better than I ever could, as I am baby. Similar in arrogance, and in anger — to a point.

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?

— She’d fucking kick my ass. I think she would appreciate me, and not be as bully as with others — not because I am her mun, but more so as I think we’d clash a lot but get along quite well, too.

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?

— I, unfortunately haven’t had a lot of interactions with Li trying to be nice, or fight somebody but— people like her, who are broken yet continue on. Who carry a mantle too big to carry and they do it anyways. Fighters that only know how to fight, when she eventually wants peace, but that will never leave her soul. People so nice that it makes her want to protect them; to view the world the way they see it. Warriors, even if they are not from the same village, are all brethren to one another and the desire to meet and see how they live out their lives — just a handful of stuff in my head I’d like to see.

That and a bar fight, she really is the one who would start a bar fight drunk or angry okay. Also nobles. She sort of hates them cause of her mom but then eventually doesn’t and it’s awkward asf.

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?

—Vikings, Game of Thrones aesthetics of the Dothraki tribe, anything tribal honestly. The existential dread that is Nier: Automata, some Fire Emblem aesthetics, a lot of stuff honestly.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?

— I STARTED YESTERDAY. I finished late today cause my last two braincells hate everything

#long post #thanks for the tag!#that took way longer than it should've but i am dumb #c; J'Lihmu Rhatni #answered prompt;

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