#they had 4 or 5 main NPCs to talk to and none of them are memorable in any way

[yorhaw]

It kind of pisses me off how paleo pines keeps advertising their new paid DLC available for pre-order but they still haven't. Said what the DLC is. Like what is in this. What do they want us to pay for. But i guess there's no time for that when they can plug their stupid makeship plush #4 teaser trailer 185772847 more times instead

[kyogre-blue]

OK, post timeskip GD, go!

Got up to the bridge, which means unifying the Alliance and presumably starting an offensive against the Empire.

I've gotten all the B ranks on my supports, a bunch of A ranks, and all of Byleth's available ones except Lysithea A (which is blocked off) and someone's S. The A ranks really vary a lot in terms of how involved they are, with some being quite nice, but others being pretty whatever.

Unfortunately, some of the basic issues with the support system start to get pretty obvious. You end up doing them in batches, so they get tiring. Additionally, if you watch a few for the same character in a row, there's often overlap in what they discuss, since the characters only have a few traits. Worse, none of the growth in one support can carry over to another or even a paralogue (or to the main story). The supports just become disconnected what-ifs, in a way.

(And this not mentioning the issue that some major character details always end up hidden in the most out there support, which in 3H will require some bizarre recruitment combination.)

In regard to the main story, I don't have too much to say. It's kind of spinning its wheels while we get the new plot on the road, but it's fine. It's just... fine. Hopefully, it'll pick up once we start the real battles.

Notes again:

1185, nearly 5 years since the monastery fell. But it fell several months into 1181, so like... it's 4 years and change.

Kingdom capital has fallen, Leicester alliance is split between supporting the Church and the Empire.

Sothis is here again somehow.

Tomorrow is the Millennium Festival, how convenient. Byleth came floating down a river from Garreg Mach. It is Ethereal Moon, but... Which one is that again...

Ok, I see why AC said the reunion was underwhelming. It's cute but the buildup is non-existent.

Byleth's first concern is Rhea (relatable) but Claude thinks it might be better that she's gone. He doesn't explain why. I am gonna need some time to get used to everyone's adult voices.

Lorenz is quite chill about his father's uh allegiance.

Lorenz: This was inevitable, since our lands are so close to the empire, we have to side with them or lose our necks. Lorenz also: BUT MAYBE IF CLAUDE DIDN'T SUCK

The amount of times you can ask after Rhea is... hum. Rhea is the most personal priority for Byleth. They're definitely not upset or unsettled by her, which is funny.

Seteth thought that maybe Rhea would turn up on the millennium festival.

Claude wanted to use the monastery as a base of operations due to its location.

Why are we talking to this Seiros Knight NPC? Was an unavailable playable meant to be filling this role?

Leonie A1 with Lorenz: she gives back a handkerchief... after 5 years. Leonie's village is called Sauin. It turns out Lorenz's family were the ones who hired Jeralt to help the village all those years ago. Lorenz is still punchable, btw.

Marianne A with Hilda: Their previous two ranks were more abrasive than I expected. The A is... OK? Given their popularity as a pairing, I expected something a bit more.

Cyril A with Hilda: This doesn't feel like it should have been gated to the timeskip. This A is also kinda underwhelming. It's okay, but knowing their relationship can't advance any further is... yeah.

Not really feeling the new monastery and menu music.

They did at least change the skybox to be yellow, which is something. Makes it feel autumn-y, which is... not correct. It would be nice if somewhere aside from the cathedral interior had some visible damage.

Claude A with Byleth: He admits to not being born in Fodlan (presumably because this has nothing on Byleth being potentially not even human) though doesn't name where he's from specifically. In Almyra, people from Fodlan are viewed as cowards, which Claude attributes to ignorance (if they just met and interacted with real people from Fodlan, like his mother, they'd know better). They also looked down on him for being of mixed blood.

He came to Fodlan to try and find "a new perspective" in his goal of breaking down those barriers, but people in Fodlan are even more racist, seeing people from other nations as just beasts. He wants to bring the whole world together and start anew. I know nothing bad happens, but uh. That's, hm... At least he realizes that it was extremely unrealistic... but Claude recognizes Byleth's magic dragon god powers and thinks they can make it happen together.

At first, I was wondering why we can view Ferdinand supports when he didn't turn up, but he IS here? He wasn't in the battle or the scene after...

Ferdinand has lost his territory and is determined to stop Edelgard no matter the cost. Per his B, he always intended to unseat his father. I guess, like Lorenz, he wasn't really onboard with his evil dad from the start.

Marianne and Lorenz A is....... uh. She's not going to smile while telling you about how her family is cursed, dude.

OK, so for weekly Instruct, we're using the Cardinals' room that was sealed before, and instead of the faculty giving staff training, we run advanced drills with the students.

Byleth's open mouthed shock when told Dimitri was killed (supposedly). And then a droopy sad posture.

"Faerghus Dukedom"

Claude approves if you ask him whether he hopes Rhea is dead. He just has things he wants to ask. It's interesting given that Claude presents himself as being in your corner, and Byleth has a big bend toward asking after her, seemingly in concern.

Claude thinks that most people accept the "noble system" because of their belief in the Seiros faith. They also have prejudices against non-believers too. That's... hm. A take, for sure.

So without Rhea, the supposed closed-minded Church doctrine will weaken and there will be more room for free thought, which Claude considers a cure-all.

Claude's ultimate goal here is to have Byleth take over the church and lead Fodlan that way. Then, people could be free to think for themselves. He thinks Edelgard is after something similar. He just doesn't like that she's using so much bloodshed to get there. Not necessarily because he disapproves but because the world "can't get behind" it.

But since Rhea is probably still around, we still have questions, and Byleth ambiguously might care about her (MY A RANK), Claude backpedals into finding her being the next step and quickly hurries you off to bed.

Claude and Cyril B: Claude never knew that there were people in Almyra in Cyril's situation. Which is to say... poor and exploited? Or...?

If no one else is in Rhea's corner, Cyril is. I appreciate that he doesn't just support her because she helped him personally, but because that's the kind of person she has been - trying to help those without any status and nowhere to go. Rhea helps refugees and orphans not just because of the goddess's teachings, but because it's the right thing to do.

Claude: OK, maybe Rhea is fine. Maybe.

GROWTH??

Too bad supports are basically not canon.

Claude and Lorenz A: Claude is fine giving up leadership of the Alliance to Lorenz now that he's gotten to know him. But same is true for Lorenz. Kinda gay. Not bad.

Claude was only recognized as the heir to Reigan thanks to Judith's recommendation. Which is interesting given his background.

Marianne's paralogue: One of the 10 Elites got cursed by his crest and he turned into a monster... that was still sentient and can talk. And he ate people. Unclear if anyone else with the crest was actually affected, or if they just carried that stigma for a thousand years...

Claude and Marianne A has an interesting implication about the timeline. Claude frames it as him running away from home as soon as he was old enough because he was tired of being discriminated against and hoped that Fodlan would be better. It was only after he arrived in Leicester and realized that it's no different that he came up with his idea to break down the boundaries between Fodlan and Almyra.

It makes more sense that his plan would be so weirdly underbaked if he's had it for less than a year and made it when he was despairing over having no place he could belong.

Flayn and Ignatz B: Flayn forgets the Church party line about the Elites being good guys, lmao. Also forgets that Saint Cethleann is generally portrayed as a woman, not a girl.

Ailell, the Valley of Torment, is the required lava stage. It was created when some kind of big heaven light destroyed the forest that used to be there. It's rumored to have been the wrath of the goddess, but that isn't recorded in scripture. (It's actually the Agarthans lol)

Count Rowe was in charge of Arianhodr (spl??) but betrayed the Kingdom to join the Empire. His general, Gwendal, wasn't happy about all this.

Judith accuses Claude of neglecting the Alliance territories for years. He left his territory with a reliable retainer ("Nardel"). Without Byleth's clout, he'd look like a "scoundrel leader." Judith leaves her territory with "Nardel" too, which is... lol.

One of Judith's men saw Rhea be dragged off by the Empire five years ago.

[stormcallgaming]

🖋️ Tiger’s Review; Bully

This has been 5 years and 4 months in the making and I don’t even know what to say about that lmao I’m so bad at starting things and taking eight lifetimes to finish them. In my defense, I get obsessed with stuff and focus only on that for a while but then I move on for a while (in this case 5 years pft.) I thank the Bingo, Kaleidoscope and Casual A-Z challenges for giving me the motivation needed to FINALLY finish this game.

Bully is one of those classic games that can easily withstand the test of time. It’s such a good game with a damn good story and pretty cool characters. The main character has that little brother feel to me and I had that feeling throughout my playthrough.

I wanted him to succeed so I tried my best. And by “tried my best” I mean I failed a shit ton of times. Which brings me to my first complaint. When you fail a mission, there’s no option to retry, it just kicks you out and you have to run ALL the way back to the NPC that gave you that quest. This is super annoying, especially if you’re like me and fail a lot. I ended up giving up a few times because I got tired of having to run back and do everything over lol This is pretty understandable given the game’s age, though.

Another really weird thing for me is the button layout. Like, instead of O being the back button, it’s triangle. The amount of times I sat there pressing the O button repeatedly wondering why the feck nothing was happening lol And to pause the game, you press the touch pad instead of options. L2 and R2 cycle through your weapons/items, while you aim with L1 and shoot with R1. That kept messing me up on Mass Effect because I was pressing the wrong button (but I did learn the Mako has boost so it’s not all bad.)

I didn’t learn this until I was literally on the LAST chapter of the game, but you have to press the left side of the touch pad to get the map up. As someone who gets lost easily, this would have been really helpful lol

The trophies are all pretty simple, at least for the PS4 version. I didn’t really have any trouble with any except for “Sharp Dressed Man.” I’m not really one to buy clothes in games unless it’s my own character, like GTA, so I only have a couple pieces bought.

Between running around trying to make enough money and trying to FIND all the clothes, I think this is the trophy I spent the most time on. I was so confused because I bought out all the clothing stores, the school shop and the fair but still hadn’t reached 250. I read that the barber shop sells clothes, but I went to two and they had none so I didn’t bother checking the third. Turns out, 3rd time really is the charm lol

One thing I really love about this game is the fact that, when the game ends, it doesn’t actually end. It lets you run around and continue whatever you missed so you don’t have to play through the game again to collect trophies. The fact that this game, old as it is, had the thought to do this while new games don’t is honestly incredible. They do make you sit through the credits first, though. No amount of button pushing can skip ’em.

I suggest getting the flower trophy out of the way before finishing art class. You CAN flirt with guys, but there’s only like 2 or 3 that you can flirt with while you can flirt with ANY girl. I wish they had put a bit more into the NPC students… there’s only a couple unique students in each clique before they just copy and pasted them a bunch of times. It was kind of offputting… and creepy.

Maybe it’s just me, but the kiss trophy was painful. It’s so cringey watching them makeout and I had to look away, it’s just uncomfortable lol And the thing with Zoe… it was so weird because he had literally met her TWO TIMES and then they were talking about love. Is that normal for fifteen year olds? Am I just old?

Speaking of romance, here’s a hot take: Johnny Vincent deserves better! The whole game, I kept wishing he would just break up with that cheating [redacted]. Why did he keep taking her back? She claimed to love him but as soon as he turned around, she was making out with another guy. Not just one, either, she was with basically the whole ass school okay.

My man deserves better. Period.

Speaking of characters, whats-his-face nerd leader was creepy and annoying as hell. I thought he was cute at first but after seeing how he behaves, he became uglier every time he was on screen lol Derby is cute but I want to punch him sometimes. He reminds me of Atobe from Prince of Tennis in a way. Russel is the man and he is a precious idiot, okay.

The gym teacher was also a creep and I hate him. Like I said before, Jimmy is great and I view him as a baby brother. Must protect. Finally, I felt bad for Pete. He’s such a good kid but everyone treats him like dirt, even Jimmy – I would smack him for this if I could. Honestly, I think he’s the only sane person in this whole damn town.

I almost forgot to mention Dual Nebula. This trophy requires you to beat the high score in three different arcade games. The sumo one is the easiest, in my opinion, it only took me two or three tries. The one with the squirrel flinging nuts is second. I died a bunch of times but most of that was because I was trying to glitch it, having ZERO faith that I could do it on my own. The glitch didn’t work and I made it! Finally, the hardest one is the monkey one. It took me sooo many tries to get this one because you can’t jump over the spiders, you just gotta wedge yourself in the corner and hope for the best.

It was fun, but it’s time to say goodbye, Bullworth.

I think I’ve covered everything I wanted to about this game. It’s a really great game and I highly recommend checking it out. I didn’t do a playthrough of this game, but I do have some clips posted and a bunch more waiting to be posted. You can check out my playlist here.

I started this game on September 5th, 2017. I completed this game on January 14th, 2023.

My rating: ★★★★☆ (4.5)

Honestly, I wish I hadn’t done the clothes one last. Just look at the damn platinum screenshot, it’s terrible ò_ó) I should’ve waited on the last quest for Kleptomaniac… oh well. Nothing I can do now.

[shazos]

Rouxls is Hiding Something Big: A Deltarune Theory

FORENOTE- For some needed context, it may help reading my previous Deltarune theory here for important details that I will cover in this post. (My previous theory provides notable evidence on why Gaster is indeed the “Knight” figure talked about by multiple characters in Deltarune.)

Now, this is going to sound crazy. But after much time of poring over and analyzing Deltarune, I have come to a conclusion. One that I’ve been convinced of for awhile now. Something that’s been lying right under all of our noses without many of us even realizing it. We have all been bamboozled. Hoodwinked. Tricked. Why, you may ask?

Because the comically stupid and inept Duke of Puzzles is actually... not an idiot. No, he’s the complete opposite. He is a downright mastermind.

As collective players, we are all falling into the same trap once again. Putting faith into a character’s preconceived personality !

When their true personality turns out the complete opposite of what we expected...

It is here, my evidence for this claim begins—and we delve into the true identity of Rouxls Kaard. Buckle up everyone, cause this one’s gonna be a fun ride. 👀

So, to spill the beans up front, and get it over with. I believe Rouxls Kaards identity... is none other than W.D. Gaster in disguise.

Now. I didn’t immediately become invested in this theory—I was skeptical at first like everyone else. But, once I began examining Deltarune and all of its characters a bit closer...things weren’t exactly adding up about the Duke of Puzzles.

Point #1: Anagrams

I initially began to become suspicious of Rouxls Kaard because of his odd name. Sure, it is a play on the words of the term, “Rules card”. But it is spelt in such a peculiar way. If it were just simply a play on words, I think that there would be a much better way of going about spelling it rather than just jumbling a bunch of random letters together. There is a very intriguing reddit post found here that goes more into depth about his name that ties well into my theory. The thing that stood out to me in particular, is that Rouxls’s name is actually also an anagram for “A Dark Soul RX”, (with the left over RX typically being used in terms relating to doctors/medicine.) Not only is Gaster a Doctor, but he’s also always associated with darkness and the research of souls. Toby loves his anagrams—so I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if this was intentional. But it doesn’t end there.

I’ve noticed that Toby Fox has a tendency to tease certain things about his games through merch. And wouldn’t you know it—he has in fact, a particular item on fangamer of a “dark heart.” One which description describes the Angel’s Prophecy. Hm...

But let’s back on track onto my second observation, shall we?

Point #2: The Physical Resemblance to Gaster

Now, there seems to be some interesting foreshadowing related to inverted colors in Deltarune. Before Ralsei takes his hat off, he appears black. But once he takes his hat off, voila, his colors are inverted, and he is revealed to actually be a white goat highly resembling Asriel.

In addition, the entire Dark World is literally just. An inverted version of a normal world.

The Dark World could have hypothetically been the created world/experiment that Gaster had fallen into in the first place. After all, his experiment had to do with “darkness”, and “negative” photons--AKA the Dark Fountains, and the negatively/inverted landscapes of the Dark World.

And how does Rouxls Kaard appear inverted anyways? Well, he looks like THIS.

He even has the strange dangling lip thing—which another character said to directly resemble Gaster, Seam, has as well:

In addition, if you look at Rouxls’ text-box profile very closely, his eye colors are actually mismatched which is a rather interesting detail!

Point # 3: His Accent is Extremely put on.

I think anybody that has read any sort of Shakespearean/Old English writing, can instantly realize that Rouxls is as bad as imitating an Old English accent as a high-schooler reading Hamlet for the first time. Rouxls absolutely butchers it. He practically adds eth, and est at the end of any word he chooses, and calls the job done. What is even more interesting though, is when he gets nervous or panicked, he drops the act all together and talks normally.

Point #4: He is Pretending to be Dumb; His Puzzles are Actually Impressive!

I found it intriguing how there are countless puzzle traps in all the forest areas and in the Card Castle prison that were actually very well done. You have to flip the spades, diamonds, hearts, etc to unlock doors, and open secret chests. They require a decent amount of thinking skills, and are actually competent. But who made them?? Oddly enough if you observe one of them in the forest areas, it appears that Rouxls Kaard vandalized one of the puzzles to make it harder for the player to beat it—which further implies that he actually indeed made those puzzles himself. This shows that Rouxls is much more competent than only being able to make a single box shove puzzle that is comically easy. Where else do we see a place full of plenty of rather well made puzzles + traps seen? All throughout the Core in Undertale—a place which Gaster himself created!

Point #5: Rouxls IS Aware the World is a Game--AKA DON’T FORGET TO READ NPC DIALOGUE FOLKS!

I think it is well aware by now that Rouxls likely wants us as the players to underestimate him--and deem him a fool so we wouldn’t bat an eye at what he’s actually up to. But the most biggest give away to this is something that I have surprisingly seen no one mention at all. And oh boy, it is the most damning evidence that Rouxls is no idiot to be trifled with.

To the left of Seam’s shop, there can be found a little group of former puzzle-makers that used to live at Card Castle, until they were fired and replaced with Rouxls Kaard. They are now all out of a job, and are just barely scraping by since the Spade King didn’t give them any severance pay. However, Rouxls Kaard offered them a way to get money--by selling the tutorials he made.

These tutorials go over TP, stats, information about Susie, Ralsei,  and Kris. Rouxls Kaard has never once met any of the players yet--and he knows everything about them. He knows about stats. He knows the world is a game.

HOW??

In addition, when you talk to Rouxls in his shop, he calls you three the Heroes of Legend. He is well aware of the Angel’s Prophecy. He knows.

Whenever any character in the world of Undertale & Deltarune knows that the world is a game, it is an instant red-flag. It goes to show that they know much more than they let on. Flowey and Sans are big examples of this in Undertale. Pure hearted, dorky idiots that we trust earlier in the game--but wind up seeing the real side of them later on.

...So why should we treat Rouxls any differently?

Point #6: The “Control Crown”

Something that I immediately thought was kind of weird, was the fact that Rouxls Kaard was able to control the K. Round with a “Control Crown” device. If he is so stupid, how was he able to create a full on mechanical device that can brainwash a life-form into being violent/cause it to triple in size?! That is genius material right there!

But things start to take on a much darker side when you begin to look at the subtext of this realization, which I will get to in a moment...

First of all, Seam claimed these exact words.

The remaining king was the Spade King-- as the King of Hearts, Diamonds, and Clubs are seen to be locked up in the Dungeon. Therefore, the Spade King put the Knight, and his strange son into power. IF it were the Spade King in power, the dialogue box WOULD have said “himself”. Therefore, the Knight, and his strange son were put in place to control the kingdom. And who are they?

Gaster/Rouxls Kaard, and Lancer.

Evidence to back this up:

Lancer calls Rouxls his “Lesser Dad”. And Rouxls calls Lancer, his Strange little darling/son.

The Spade King is not in charge. During his boss-fight, he states that he obeys the word of the Knight.

If you observe more of Lancer’s dialogue in the scene right before the gang enters Card Castle, he states that his dad, (Spade King), recently forced his troops to listen to Lancer instead. Therefore, Lancer is by all respects actually second in command to the Knight.

One of Rouxls main interests is...Lawmaking. Even though he is just supposedly an innocent Duke of Puzzles.

Another one of Rouxls main interests is...Cages, and long strolls in the dungeon... 

There are innocent puzzle-makers locked up in the Prison who are terrified--they were arrested for the simple act of making a puzzle without a license. HM, I wonder who could have possibly locked them up? *Wink wink nudge nudge*

And what ties this all together, is perhaps the most obscure, tiniest detail that no one would have likely observed on a first play-through. If you go to the first floor of Card Castle and click the description tablet next to the elevator to the Prison, it claims that the Prison used to just be a Basement Which Just Happened to Have a Lot of Cages. This is backed up by the caged animals in the basement, who say that they miss the “good old days” when they used to be the only ones there in cages, and not a bunch of people behind bars.

In summary, Rouxls is locking up a bunch of innocent people, and playing nice to our faces. He IS the knight. And he is not to be underestimated.

Point #7: Rouxls’ Plan is Already Set in Place

The part where this theory gets a little dark, ties back to my mentioning of the control crown earlier.

If you observe the throne room, it looks like it was recently torn apart in a sort of...conflict.

Why was the Spade King the only king left un-caged to begin with? Why wasn’t he locked up too?

Well...Rouxls Kaard needed someone to put him in charge. But not only that—he needed a scapegoat. Someone to blame. Someone to be “The Bad Guy” for the Heroes to fight.

The Spade King...is actually innocent. He is obeying the Knight, because he is being controlled by a Control Crown. The throne room is in ruins because the Spade King likely fought against this at first, but Rouxls won and successfully put the Spade King under his command. I thought it was strange how the King was so...violent. So irredeemably evil, and even murderous toward his own son Lancer. Yes, it could be argued that this is indeed his true personality, that he is a complete, abusive jerk. But, the whole ending battle of Deltarune chapter 1 feels so...set up in a way? It feels so starkly good vs evil, black and white. Almost like a play.

And oh boy. I think I was onto something.

If you pay close attention to the fight with the Spade King, there is a brief moment at the beginning where he is completely shrouded in shadow. Except. For. His. Crown. It glows stark white in comparison to himself. Like a Chekov’s Gun if you will.

And even more interesting, in the supposed good/pacifist ending, the Spade King is locked up in Prison, the other three kings are still locked up in cages, everyone else is freed, and Rouxls and Lancer now have full control of the kingdom...

Guys. We just played right into Gaster’s hands.

Point #8: Seam Knows that Rouxls is the Knight...

The final observation that genuinely makes me convinced in this theory, is a small detail I noticed at the end of the Pacifist run of Deltarune. Once you have beaten the game, and all of the prisoners are freed, everyone comes to celebrate at Card Castle for your victory. Everyone, except for Seam. That is because Seam knows what the “Strange Knight” did to Jevil. He knows who the Strange Knight is. And he knows what the Knight’s true intentions are.

Point #9: Extra Tidbits I noticed:

When compared to the other denizens of card castle, Rouxls seems out of place. He is the one vaguely humanoid character among a bunch of card and chess themed Darkners. 

His puzzle is... too easy.

Rouxls is oddly excited about overthrowing the king/taking his place. 

Rouxls is well versed in calligraphy of all things. (Relation to fonts + letters.)

Rouxls “sparkles” have an odd resemblance to the shining save states...?

He makes pop culture references, such as ones seen here and here. Could just be random throwaway jokes, but often times more “aware” characters such as Sans and Papyrus are keen on breaking the fourth wall at times/making references to relate with the audience.

His hair looks strangely out of place. Especially the hairline which is really receded to an unnatural degree on the left side. It’s a wig guys...

He gets a suspiciously new position for no reason at all. In any normal situation, he would be extremely unqualified for it if he were as stupid as he makes himself out to be.

Rouxls is literally wearing armor, akin to a medieval knights.

If you pay close attention, Rouxls has a few very subtle similar speech patterns to Gaster. They both occasionally repeat words twice. They both use the words wonderful and truly a lot, etc.

When Kris and the gang beat the K. Round, Rouxls said it was just to test their abilities.

Rouxls theme has leitmotifs from Gaster’s theme.

End of discussion. Deltarune’s finale is legit going to be Gaster getting his wig snatched.

[freshcuntgrass]

I've had a mug and a half of this terrible strawberry Franzia that I love so I am going to post with little to none context about the absolutely batshit plot for one of my D&D parties I came up with yesterday, because only god and my 18 followers can judge me

I think one of y'all follows me because I had my own tumbl quoted back to me in a session by accident. but this is dragonslayers spoilers only, not f-team, so whatever. (also hi. also sorry about my tungel in general)

So this particular plot thread requires three unhinged elf women, all of whom are my absolute favorite NPC to play at any given time. the holy trinity of gaslight gatekeep girlboss, the lights of my life

Donna Maria Verdini, the underboss of the Verdini high elf mafia in the city of Cantonova. The Verdini have been the BBEG org for nineteen levels of campaign, literal real-life years, with the first half basically revolving around them keeping a blue dragon in an opera house and running a lot of shady businesses to feed its hoard. Of the whole family, Donna Maria is the ICONIC one. Exactly everything you'd want an elf mafia socialite to be: glamorous, charismatic, big into enchantment magic and also poison and stabbing, does some femme fatale shit on the side because what evil 400-year-old milf wouldn't, and most importantly super-intelligent and has been playing galaxy-brain 5D chess with the party ever since they became a threat. She particularly loves fucking with the bard, who is an operatic soprano equally as fabulous as her, and it's just such a gorgeous rivalry that I love leaning into.

Gepopo, spymaster of the city of Cantonova. She's been an ally of the party for almost longer than Donna Maria has been an enemy. I'm talking like, session 4 or 5. This does not mean she's good; the entire Voice for this character is "wave a glass of whiskey around and be a massive fucking bitch." her alignment is [loud TV static???]. she has a centuries-long criminal background and a body count probably in the hundreds? absolute menace, has been since childhood, can't take her anywhere. but on the other hand, she's deeply loyal and strongly motivated by love. and on some sense she believes in and supports the people doing good in the world-- but she died and went to hell as a kid, and ever since she got brought back she's basically been like "well, sometimes you have to do bad shit in the course of doing good, and I'm already going to hell, so what's one more sin on my plate?" (kinda catholic if you ask me tbh) anyway, the only reason she's a government official is because her adventuring party saved the Count's ass decades ago and he gave her a position so that another country wouldn't force her extradition and execute her again (she's died a lot)

Lona te-Morigana, the newly elected leader of the main wood elf pantheon's religion. We just finished up this whole plot where the party was asked by the PC monk's head abbess to support and guard her during the election, and guess what? They immediately hated her! So so so much! Her general vibe is that of the sentence "I don't really get that reference because I don't own a TV." Absolutely TERRIBLE vibes, but nothing about her that's *obviously guilty*. She had trouble with the politics side, but had an ~inspiring backstory~ as the youngest candidate in a thousand years. She got her eye stabbed out in a schoolyard fight centuries ago, but the people say "she sees more with one eye than most do with two" because she's apparently been going around inspiring all the villages with mystical bullshit. The party did not pick up on any of my subtle clues she was evil, except that she was petty and mean to their sidekick Sen once and just like, generally low-key sucked. Since the other candidate was openly fashy, and they did not listen to the rebel group I also tossed in there, they got her elected. So now she's elf pope basically. What the party has not noticed, not even a little bit, is that she super totally has the eye of Vecna (who in my world was originally a disciple of her god, Morigana). I gave them Vecna lore and they went "lol that's from Stranger Things" and immediately forgot about it.

CONNECTION BETWEEN MARIA/GEPOPO: enemies, deadlocked for 20 years, the entire reason the party knows about Maria is that they came to Gepopo with a rumor/problem and she immediately went "okay so it's obviously this one bitch I can't catch." The party's seen Gepopo outsmarted by the Verdinis before; she had a capo in custody thanks to the party, he taunted her until she murdered him in front of the party, and he then ambushed the party during a big battle because he had a Clone.

CONNECTION BETWEEN MARIA/LONA: they are actually sisters-in-law! (The party has all the information to put this together, or would if they took notes, but has not yet done so.) Maria's son (Lona's nephew) got chosen for a high priesthood right before the election, whole party thought it was extremely sus (it was) but blamed the fashy candidate instead (nope lol). Lona is the gods' little blorbo now, so she has the Hand stored away as well, and she's planning on giving it to Maria.

CONNECTION BETWEEN LONA/GEPOPO: who do you think stabbed out Lona's eye lol (this is less important, but deeply funny. also loops in with Sen, who went to school with both of them, but he's not a girlboss so he doesn't get his own bullet point)

The big question I needed to answer: how does Donna Maria get to the Hand of Vecna, while fucking with her enemies as much and as stylishly as possible?

It's been established that the Verdini are not above the Clone spell. (In fact, they just heard the Verdinis probably have more Clones in their estate, so that's fresh in their mind and they're planning on dealing with that next.) Maria was at the elf vatican for the election, just like the party was. She was there to rig the election for Lona, which she did by several means (all of which the party almost got! and then turned around and said "I bet she's here working with the fashy guy!"), and she was also there to drop off something special afterwards: a Clone of herself, left hand already amputated, to be stored in secret and sacred chambers where only Lona is permitted to go.

Meanwhile, the party is back in Cantonova. Maria has been Scrying on slash tracking the party via a cursed bracelet she gifted the bard, in another absolute 5D chess plot a while back that involved murdering the Count and pinning the blame on the bard. She also recently killed an assassin she thinks the party sent, dropped him headless at their door as a warning... it was a whole thing and she's out for more blood than usual. Whatever she might've been waiting for earlier, no time like the present to get that hand.

But... why kill yourself, when you can have your enemies do it for you?

Again-- she'll know exactly where they plan to go, what with the Scrying. She will wait for them, in a public place that I have a beautiful battle map for. She will wait until they get close, dig around in the bard's thoughts to catch her (and only her) attention, and then use Subtle Spell and attempt to Disintegrate her boyfriend. (This is Sen, the beloved sidekick that Lona was mean to earlier, who Gepopo coincidentally absolutely adores. He also has absolute fuck-all for DEX saves and is in every way the perfect target.)

The party's gonna attack back. There's no way in hell they won't. This is their longtime enemy. She's fucked with them a million times, and she'll do it a million more. I will write a beautiful, loving description of them having a wonderful time with the lil guy they saved from a whole bunch of miserable shit. He's finally happy, they're all finally home, it is a beautiful day and I am a horrible DM. Because at the exact worst time, I will call a WIS save and switch to a description of the bard's thoughts being probed. She will just barely have time to register that something is wrong before Sen crumples in front of her.

They'll see her, easily. She won't hide from them. What she will do is scream that she's only defending herself, that she's being attacked unprovoked. Toss in a Subtle Spelled Mass Suggestion as necessary, particularly at any nearby city guards who come to break up the fight. She'll get her hits in, but she won't fight optimally, won't take a life unless the chance really opens up. She'll Counterspell anything that attempts to end the fight nonviolently. She will die at their hands on a crowded city street. And she will wake up in the temple, ready to painlessly attach the Hand and be on her way.

Meanwhile, the party is fucked. They just murdered a prominent citizen in broad daylight. Gepopo is the head of law enforcement; does she bring charges against her friends for the crime of murdering her worst enemy in public, or does she refuse and get fired or forced to step down, thus risking her life? Does the party go on the run, or stand trial for a crime dozens of people saw? Do they go through with their plan of raiding the estate while the "mourning family" is transporting a fake body to Lona, or do they follow the family and figure out the ruse? Every option is bad, in an absolutely terrific way. I can't wait.

[doorbloggr]

Friday 1/10/21 - Media Recommendations #20

Contents: Deltarune

I'd been meaning to get to this one for ages, so once again, I think to make it easier on myself, and my readers, today I am only recommending the latest videogame creation of Toby Fox. This ended up being quite an extensive article, so I split it into sections:

MY CONTEXT

OVERVIEW/PREMISE

GAMEPLAY

PRESENTATION

CONCLUSION

Deltarune (Chapter 1+2)

Toby Fox

1. MY CONTEXT

So context for my own gaming experience going into Deltarune, I have never actually played Undertale. Back when Undertale was getting big, it was only a PC game I think, and I just don't play games on PC. I probably should but yeah nah. Soon after it got popular however, I watched a comprehensive Lets Play of Undertale by Rubber Ross and Barry Kramer, and their voices for Sans and Papyrus are still to this day how I imagine those characters. Through that Lets Play, I experienced both the Pacifist and Genocide runs, and got intimately well acquainted with the characters and world Toby Fox had created, and how the actions of the player can shape how we save or ruin that world.

As a general context, I have always been a person who likes the idea of turn-based, random encounter fantasy RPGs, but the deepest I really got was Pokémon. I've been trying to change that recently, and after beating Monster Hunter Stories 2 a while back, I wanted to try more of the genre. Turn based battles are a lot more my speed than pure skill, like fighting games I've become sick of, and RPGs seem to be big on story, so when I heard the Deltarune demo had an update, I thought this is finally the time to jump into that world.

Going forward in this review, I'm gonna try and stay broad and unspecific with my descriptions, so as to not spoil. I may discuss some gameplay themes and characters, but I'm avoiding giving specifics away. I really think you need to experience all parts of the game yourself first.

Minor Spoilers for Undertale and Deltarune Ahead

2. OVERVIEW/PREMISE

Deltarune is a project of love. Pure charm and personality ooze from every aspect of the game. Dialogue is clever and snarky, and that charm even leaks into item and location flavour text. The setting and themes are fun, but with a bloodstained silver lining that is best appreciated by mature audiences. I guess I should just explain the premise?

Deltarune puts you in the shoes of a human named Kris. For unexplained reasons you live in a world of monsters and you are the only human. And by monsters, I mean curious looking critters of a variety of shapes and sizes, since, there is really nothing monstrous about them. One day at school, Kris and classmate Susie end up being transported to a whole different world where dark fountains construct monstrous subworlds, and it is up to the chosen ones, the lightners Susie, Kris and darkner (dark world native) Prince Ralsei, to seal the evils of this dark alternate world.

Deltarune is still a work in progress, and as the subtitle of this article suggests, 2 Chapters of a possible 7(?) have been released, and it is unknown at the time of writing if the rest will come out when the game is done, or as more standalone chapters.

3. GAMEPLAY

Deltarune borrows a lot of theming and game loop premise from its parent game Undertale. The tag line of Undertale was: the RPG where noone has to die. This is because the encounter based battle system is built on two courses of action to take. You may FIGHT enemies and reduce their HP to zero, or you may ACT, and talk the enemy into leaving the battle. Deltarune is built on this same system, but with extra layers. Kris is the stand in for the Undertale MC, who has the options to FIGHT, ACT, ITEM, SPARE, or GUARD. Most of those options were in Undertale too, but Guarding is a new addition where you earn Tension Points, or TP, for not engaging the enemy at all.

This TP is used for extra powerful ACT actions, or for special moves of the other party members. This is the main big difference in gameplay loop. Since the player controls a party now rather than just one person, each party member can specialise in different action types. Kris's ACT can incorporate input from other party members; Susie for toughness and Ralsei for softness, in general. Susie is the powerhouse, and if you chose the violent route, she does more damage. Ralsei is the Mage, and can heal allies, as well as use magic to resolve fights peacefully. Those extra abilities use TP.

In most turn based RPGs, there is a back and forth, where the player chooses actions, and sometimes there is a timing aspect to how well those actions perform, and then there's the enemy's turn, where most of the time you just have to wait and let it happen. Undertale and Deltarune have this truly unique system where the soul of the party members, represented by a heart, is directly controlled on the enemy's turn. It's a mini game unique to every enemy type, where you must move the heart around to dodge their attacks, and how good you dodge will decide whether you take a lot of damage, or even none at all. Deltarune adds an extra layer onto this, where if you make the dodge closer, so that the enemy only JUST misses, you earn TP, and open up more options for your next turn. I found this extra detail really endearing, and I made a lot more riskier moves than if there was no incentive to.

I probably mentioned it above, but just to close out this section, the option to either ACT or FIGHT opens up two types of play. Chapter 1, being a sort of intro part, does not differentiate, but the distinction becomes important later. ACTing to SPARE an enemy earns you money, and in Chapter 2, will lead to befriending monsters. FIGHTing will also earn you EXP in Chapter 2, making your options to hurt enemies more powerful. In Undertale, this difference in playstyle actually changed the ending in real time, and from what we know of Deltarune, it is likely going to be the same case.

4. PRESENTATION

Undertale had this unique visual charm to it that may have been a limitation of its Independent Development, but it was probably also a stylistic choice. Deltarune builds on the same type of artstyle, adorable pixel sprite graphics that bring a lot more colour and depth than its predecessor.

Many, but not all characters have little character portraits in their textboxes, and they change expressions to match the situation, and its so cute.

Character and enemy design are so top-notch. A team of designers have been brought on this time, and every one of them have brought gold to the table. Every random battle encounter is dripping with personality, as you learn how best to sweet talk your way out of battle, or how to best destroy them. Most recurring NPCs are lovable, and those who you hate, you love to hate. Dialogue is witty and hilarious, and the writing is fun.

The chiptune style soundtrack is phenomenal. Although I think Undertale's common enemy battle them was more memorable, that may just be that I have become more familiar with it. All character and boss battle themes are so catchy and energetic. Toby Fox is a master of high energy... fun music. It gets stuck in your head, and your brain bounces around at high velocity.

5. CONCLUSION

Ok so this review is already like 3 times longer than a normal Media Recommendation Article, and like 5 times longer than I planned it to be for this one game, so I should probably wrap it up here. Deltarune is a game experience I put off playing for way too long, and now I can't hold my excitement for when the next part comes out. And important to keep in mind, it is essentially a demo, in that it is just a taste of what's to come, but it is a damn meaty demo that will keep you engaged for many hours.

Chapters 1 and 2 are packaged together as a free game on most game platforms at this point, so there's nothing really stopping you from giving it a try. I don't usually rate my recommendations, but since I wrote this more like a review, I might as well...

Deltarune Chapter 1+2: 9/10

Please play it!

[xbaebsae]

Changes and Deleted Content Part 2 - Far Cry 5: Features and Missions

This is a small passion project series of posts where I share some insight of what’s hidden in the game(s) files, but also some general observations. The main focus will be on character changes or deletions with a few words about functions and deprecated missions.

What will not be touched upon are a lot of the things the Resistance Mod on PC restores, namely deleted store weapons and clothes, weather systems and general gameplay related things like skinning animations. I also won’t go into audio files and their content, as @lulu2992 is already working on an amazing series for FC5 that summarizes them per character.

This part will be significantly shorter Edit from post finishing-Angy: This post turned out really damn long despite only discussing some scrapped or changed features and a couple of deprecated mission strings. I still hope you find this as interesting to read as I found writing and investigating it :)

1. Changed and Scrapped Features

1.1 Guns/Fangs for Hire

Just for reference, the release version of the game has 9 unique GFH/FFH available + 3 slots for random specialists you can hire throughout the world.

Among the game’s UI textures for tutorials is this image, showing an earlier version of the GFH screen.

What this indicates is that the planned amount for active GFHs you can have was originally 4; or the top row could function as some sort of favorites tab. We will probably never know for certain. 

Interestingly though, this version has slots for 20 GFHs in total, 18 either filled a character icon or a locked symbol, suggesting the originally planned unique GFH count was 18.

Considering almost every NPC in-game has spawn-able archetypes with battle audio fully in place it is possible that we were supposed to be able to recruit more of them. I will return to the matter of recruitment shortly.

Another thing I’d like to open up for consideration is that there may have been plans for (ex-)cultist GFHs or at least areas where they act friendly towards the deputy. Reason for this assumption is the fact that cultists have recorded lines for when you meet them (spawn them), aim weapons at them (the taunts GFH and friendlies do too), along with idle lines when you use mods to spawn them as friendly followers. The game has no purpose for most of these lines, as you never walk into peaceful cultists outside of the intro. In the intro you have no weapons to aim at anyone, making it impossible to trigger these lines. 

You may argue they were recorded for the arcade, but the Seeds are also featured in it and have none of those. However, they may also be a leftover from scrapped missions that would feature cultists that don’t shoot you on sight. 

Additionally to that early menu screenshot, I have also found an old reddit thread discussing the game’s Uplay page near release because of the following image:

Unfortunately I was not able to find this particular page myself anymore, and knowing how short lived everything is nowadays, it might be lost in time forever. The commenters discuss that the three additional slots here refer to potential DLC characters, but we don’t get to use any of the DLC companions in the main game (nor do the DLCs share the main game’s art direction). So, this might be another indicator for additionally planned GFH/FFH we never got to see.

One of these was likely the Eagle FFH called ‘’Freedom’’ (Character/Unique/FFH_Eagle_Freedom), which was partially restored through mods on PC as its loaders and everything are still present. It is unknown why this was scrapped.

It also appears that there once were inventory (purchaseable?) items for almost each GFH (Boomer and Jess have none), as these placeholder icons exist inside the game’s ui\icons\inventory folder:

Possible functions: Quest items you needed to obtain to recruit them (implying changed missions); Gift items (for potential level up?)

Now to return to the matter of recruitment: Deprecated mission strings suggest that originally you had to hire unique GFHs similarly to random ones; and that was part of quest lines. These lines appear in ‘oasisstrings’, the game’s main language file(s):

HIRE Jess RECRUIT Adelaide Drubman ADD Adelaide to your squad

In light of the old GFH screen I actually looked up the definition of ‘Squad’, and on wikipedia it is listed that a Squad is a team of 5+ members, further strengthening the theory that originally you could have 4 active GFH (plus the Deputy they’d be 5, therefore a squad). 

1.2 In-game Wiki menu

Some of the previous Far Cry titles have a sort of wiki menu that features short bios of characters, explanations of locations, resources and weaponry. New Dawn sort of brought part of this back with the ‘Survival Guide’ (accessible from the pause menu), but 5 does not have this at all. However, in the ui files there are still texture leftovers, implying this feature was planned and it had sections for Animals, Base Jumps, Characters, Destructible Structures, Fish, Locations, Parking Spots (Garages), Plants and Treasure Hunts. The following image shows the ‘undiscovered’ symbols arranged in that order.

Again, no text entries along with a lot of duplicate and unfinished images imply this was scrapped early.

You can view the additional images (minus characters, because they will be handled in the next posts) here.

2. Abandoned Missions

This section will focus on mission strings that still exist in ‘oasisstrings’. For the sake of readability I removed the style code the game uses and the line numbers. You can easily find them by searching part of the text in the files or website listed in References. Please keep in mind that only the mission titles themselves are 100% like that in the files, any assumption as to what they might have been used for is purely speculative, but I attempt to always provide a reasonable explanation with evidence for the theories presented. Also I am not perfect, so it is possible I missed something in-game. In that case please do correct me!

2.1. Investigation Type objectives

There is a set of objectives listed that imply a different setup for Willis Huntley’s mission. It introduces the objectives PHOTOGRAPH, TAG, LISTEN and INTERROGATE:

PHOTOGRAPH potential property PHOTOGRAPH an animal slaughter TAG the target PHOTOGRAPH the target LISTEN to the conversation INTERROGATE the target PHOTOGRAPH cult signs and rituals: BRING the photos back to Willis

The release build mission has you tail someone and steal a VHS tape. None of the above objectives appear. It’s interesting to see that at one point there were mechanics in consideration that included intel gathering.

2.2. Quest centered around Melvin

The only Melvin I could find in relation to Far Cry 5 is Nadine Abercrombie’s grandfather. Melvin Abercrombie joined the cult. It isn’t assured that these objectives refer to him, but if they do it’d mean a potential mission where you speak to a lower ranked cultist.

Please Note that mission strings are not always in correct order.

TALK to Melvin LOOT Melvin's corpse REACH Melvin's house WAIT for Melvin to arrive GO MEET Melvin

2.3. The ‘Redeemer’ Objectives

At some point there was a quest-line revolving around something called the ‘Redeemer’ in Holland Valley. I could not find out what this thing really was supposed to be, but it sounds like it was either a boat or a submarine (???). In this line it appears that the garage in Fall’s End had actual relevance.

FIND a similar engine BRING engine to Mary's garage TALK to Mary's assistant TOW Redeemer Back the Garage (this typo is also in the file) SUBMERGE the Redeemer FLIP the Redeemer upside down GET IN the Tow Truck PUT the Redeemer on the Flat Bed

What this also implies is the inclusion of tow trucks and that there was a ‘Mary’s assistant’ character.

2.4. A few seperate Entries before we focus on plot relevant ones

In light of the afore mentioned wiki menues there is also an objective type that goes very well with its character section:

DISCOVER this character.

This could be attached to unknown entries in the character list.

There also is an unused objective called:

FIND the cow in the field

Which at first glance made me believe it was related to the mission at Cattle co., but it is not used there or anywhere else. I suppose we will never find out what was so special about this mysterious cow.

TAKE Joseph's writings

is also an interesting entry, as it is not related to the mission where you burn his book. This is again an unused string with unknown original purpose.

2.5. Mary May and John Seed

There are two particularly interesting unused mission objectives in relation to these two characters. 

For one, it looks like originally we were supposed to rescue Mary May from John’s ranch:

RESCUE Mary May From John Seed's Ranch

This could either be a replacement for saving her in Fall’s End or it is a mission that appeared later on in which John possibly captured her. It gets more possible applications with the next one, though.

FIND John and Mary May's secrets

Now, this one caught my attention immediately, because there are two big things that come to mind in terms of possible application. It could refer back to the novel Absolution in which Mary May gets captured and tattooed by John, heavily implying that part of the plot that made it to the novel was originally intended to be shown in the game (we will get back to this in the character episode when talking about Holly). 

Additionally, keeping the previous objective in mind, it could also imply that Mary has been converted during her capture (or her capture was planned) and played a different role in the story overall. Of course, all of this is only speculation as we will probably never know, but the objective specifically says ‘John AND Mary May’s secrets’, refering to shared secrets, not just one of Mary herself (which would fit more into the tattoo theory). 

   If you have ever even considered the possibility that Ubisoft might have cut a lot of stuff from the Whitetail region of the game, the rest of this Mission section should finally prove this to you. I’d like to make clear here that this is unbiased. I have tried to dig up deleted content equally in all regions but it just turns out that this is the one they really went wild with. There is nothing that stands out in terms of deleted or changed missions in the Henbane area and the Holland Valley content is mostly not that plot relevant minus the last examples just mentioned.

2.6. Eli and the Wolf’s Den

In the final version of the game we are told that Eli is an important character, but he is not very active in any way. Where Mary May assists you on the way to John’s Ranch and Tracey and the others at the prison fight by your side in defense missions, Eli will stay at the Wolf’s Den and have you run his errands for him. Just like the other mentioned characters he has full fight capabilities though. His AI is capable of using that bow, despite him never leaving the bunker.

As it turns out, he used to be a far more active character and there were multiple ways you could encounter him for the first time. For reference: In the game as it is now you will only meet him when he and his people rescue the deputy after Jacob’s first trial. You cannot enter the Wolf’s Den prior to this point.

Inside the game’s animations folders are these three subfolders including the respective files (JJ and Key03 is how Eli is often referred to in the files, I will get back to this in the character post):

This means there were three ways that you would encounter Eli: Inside a cabin, through being captured in a net or by being released by Perkins. This was most likely Doc Perkins, giving her a bit more significance in the game.

The main cutscene files for these are not present anymore, only the animations remain so I could not find out where the exact locations for these were supposed to be at. I however, loaded these animations into a game cutscene so we get to look at them anyway. I have chosen Jacob’s death cutscene for the simple reason that there’s only the player + 1 NPC, it is daytime and there’s no intrusive DOF blurring everything. The video below shows all of them. 

Keep in mind that only the player animation matters in the first two! Ignore the rest. The third one features Doc Perkins and has her animation applied to her. As you can see it is very very unfinished, but it shows that she possibly unties the deputy or opens an animal cage, then drives away in a car.

This unused mission string supports the theory of these different ways further, as it implies that you met him somewhere and he would guide you to the den:

FOLLOW Eli into the Wolf's Den

There are several other objectives that suggest a more active Eli, who might have accompanied you on some missions:

WAIT for Eli to arrive GO with Eli GO inside the Wolf's Den

2.7. Jacob and the Veteran Center

Before swan diving down a very deep rabbit hole, let’s address this unused mission string first:

TALK to Deputy Pratt

Sounds very unspectacular and like something you would do at some point, but this is never an objective in the game. The intended function will forever remain unknown most likely, but possibilities are vast, especially with the upcoming abandoned objectives.

There are hints at an alternate useage of Jacob’s bunker (specifically called bunker here and not armory). Mission strings are:

FIND a way out of Jacob's Bunker LEAVE Jacob's Bunker

Again, on first sight you’d think these are just what’s there in-game. But they aren’t. During the final mission it goes from RESCUE Deputy Pratt straight to ESCAPE Jacob’s Armory. There is no indicator that you’d need to find a way out. The objectives above hint that it was similar to John’s and Faith’s bunker initially, where you had to do a few more things before escaping. 

An observation derived from the game’s subtitle file is that at one point there might have been a differentiation between ‘Armory’ and ‘Bunker’ as, most likely, a random NPC says "I don't know where Jacob's bunker is. I'm not sure anybody does, but it's out there somewhere." The armory is (other than John’s and Faith’s bunkers) directly next to a main road, next to McKinley Dam. It is quite impossible to miss. Therefore this statement, along with the inconsistent switch between calling it ‘armory’, ‘bunker’ or ���gate’, could mean there was originally a different bunker and the armory really functioned as such. 

Before moving on to more mission strings, there is one more subtitle entry worth mentioning: "When you tried to arrest Joseph, Jacob got wind of it and things got real crazy here in the Whitetail Mountains." It heavily implies that at some point, Joseph’s family might not have been intended to be present during the opening, and they instead found out about the arrest afterwards. As far fetched as it sounds at first, it does check out with the inactivity and absence of the three heralds after you cuff Joseph (and in case you ever wondered what the three of them are doing while you guide Joseph outside, they de-spawn and are gone as soon as you turn around).

But enough about that and let’s get back to more missions we never got to see.

For instance there is:

GO TO the Veteran's Center

Which, as most of you know, is impossible during the game because you get repositioned everytime you attempt to go close. This string implies a different kind of mission at some point. 

HUNT Jacob

No, this also does not appear in the game. The final mission goes from DESTROY Wolf Beacons to KILL Jacob Seed. Possibility in combination with the previous entry is that you were supposed to follow him back to the Veteran Center and that’s where the final fight would be. It could also imply a different kind of trial.

Small observation because we are talking about the final fight: The Prima Games’ guide (based on a pre-release build of the game, it will be featured more prominently in the next post) depicts Jacob at the bottom of the mountain during this encounter. WIth a lot of perseverance I’m sure you can somehow manage to replicate this in-game. But it is interesting regardless that they chose this image. It might imply that at some point he was not positioned on top of the hill, and instead closer to the area he finally dies in.

Before we move on, here are a few other interesting unused strings:

TRAIN TRAIN yourself INTERACT with Jacob for finishing takedown TALK to Jacob

They imply a different way to end the fight along with the possibility to talk to Jacob at some point (unrelated to each other mind you). I have no clue in what kind of scenario you were supposed to talk to him. The only explanation I have is that trials were possibly supposed to be different at some point and maybe they had more intentions to explore the whole brainwashed aspect of it to the point you casually took strolls around St Francis. Now before you say I just made that up, I implore you to wait till after the next part to call me out on it, because there are reasons I offer that possibility up for discussion here.

TRAIN and TRAIN yourself might not be linked to this region at all. But it is interesting to have these sort of objectives as they form the ‘Train, Hunt, Kill, Sacrifice’ part of the region’s theme, when you refer back to other mission strings: TRAIN (yourself), HUNT Jacob, KILL Jacob Seed.

Now to get to the main part. If you ever used mods on PC that let you access the Veteran Center, you will have noticed that the AI acts very strange. Your assigned GFH might wander around, aim at nothing or even attack civillians. Cultists inside the area will not always attack you, while civillians will do. This is most likely why the developers were so quick to patch out the tricks to access the region without mods.

I have seen multiple speculations circling around, but the one that always struck me as the most plausible one is that there was some kind of mission after Pratt rescues you from the cage. It is a very discontinuous cutscene, in which you transition from the cage directly to the top floor of the Veteran Center, implying there were no problems for Pratt and the Deputy to get there, despite having to cross the entire guarded frontyard and going through multiple building floors to get to the office. So, naturally I wasted some time of my life trying to dig up stuff that proves this theory right and I...well I did find something.

Important note so you understand what’s going on here: It is very common in games to load objects underneath the map (outside of sight of the player) to assure they are properly loaded in when they are needed. I have seen posts circulating around which depicted Pratt underneath the building, suggesting they eventually had an area planned there. The more likely case is that Pratt was loaded there for later use in a cutscene.

Why am I saying that? Well, this following screenshot was taken underneath the map during the cutscene where Pratt rescues the deputy and it transitions to the top of the building. I have changed the time to daytime for a bit better visibility.

What you see here is an entirely unused set of either cutscene or gameplay elements. A truck, Jacob (who’s absent in the cutscene we see), Pratt, a random NPC, a bag, a small table (unseen in cutscene), a single door (unseen in cutscene), a double door and 3 small pieces of paper (only two are in cutscene). I have kept watch on these assets for the entirety of the cutscene and none of them were moved into place. Meaning that all of these were here to be used in either a different cutscene or even a gameplay segment.

It brings me back to the mission theory, where there was a potential stealth segment between leaving the cage and entering the office.  Maybe there was an alternate cutscene for the case where you’d be caught and the one we see in the game is the one after successfully sneaking up there? We will never know for certain again but it is one possible explanation as to why these assets even still exist. It would also check out with the TALK to Deputy Pratt mission string, as you maybe had to speak to him after reaching a certain area.

Here are also some additional screenshots of the room in front of the office:

It was modelled and filled with a few detail props we never get to see much of.

Another potential mission, which would explain the broken AI behavior better, is the already mentioned theory that they might have planned to do more with the whole brainwashing aspect. Cultists inside the Vet Center area do not shoot and are allied, while civillians act hostile, implying while the player is there they are considered to be allied to cultists. TALK to Deputy Pratt, TALK to Jacob or TRAIN (yourself) could have taken place during this also. Something that could support this theory is also this unused timelapse marking days passing:

3. The Game’s Title and Closing Words

Internally the game is often called ‘fc zeta’, ‘zeta’ or ‘fcz’. So *sigh* of course I tried to find a deeper meaning behind it all and came to the sixth letter of the Greek alphabet ‘Zeta’. If you count Far Cry: Primal as a real standalone title, Far Cry 5 is the sixth Far Cry release. But because the Greek were special snowflakes or something, the sixth letter actually has the value of 7. So Zeta is actually 7 despite being the sixth. If you count Blood Dragon as a Far Cry release it’d mean FC5 is the 7th release. However, these theories exclude all the expansions and stuff for earlier Far Cry games.

Another indicator that Zeta might have been more than just a number, is this texture used as a decal on some clothing materials:

I have not found someone in-game who has this anywhere, and they might just disable the transparency and use it only for the American flag. But still, why would they make such a decal texture in the first place? Maybe very early name of the cult or resistance group? 

Before closing this incredibly long essay, here is an old, unused version of the logo found in the files :)

Phew, we finally reached the end. If you made it all the way down here: CONGRATULATIONS you just read a long af essay! Again, i’d like to remind you that a lot of what you’ve read is pure speculation. I tried to prove my arguments as best as I could with evidence that I provided but only Ubisoft knows what really happened. And they are unlikely to tell us.

The next post will focus on the expansive character list and I may split it into parts because there is a lot to say and show about some characters. 

I hope you have a nice day and thank you for reading ♥

_______________________________________________________

References:

text.farcry.info (website where you can look through Oasisstrings yourself!) languages\english\oasisstrings.oasis.bin languages\english\oasisstrings_subtitles.oasis.bin animations\narrative\cin_key03_q01_b00_meet_jj_cabin animations\narrative\cin_key03_q01_b00_meet_jj_net animations\narrative\cin_key03_q01_b00_meet_jj_release domino\user\fcz_proto_ld domino\user\zeta_dlcm ui\resources\textures\04_menu\tooltips ui\resources\textures\06_icons\inventory ui\resources\textures\05_hud\tutorials\_images __Unknown\XBT\AE800D066AB2E84A.xbt __Unknown\XBT\FD080AA2BBABE691.xbt Zeta on Wikipedia (english) Squad on Wikipedia (english) Prima Games guide (2018, collector’s edition, print and digital) reddit.com/r/farcry/comments/89nsf1/so_theres_3_missing_guns_for_hire_here_maybe_3/ __Unknown\BIK\C6AB10EDBC81E933.bik

[lynndoublelegacy]

just a cool dnd meme i saw

Yook so it’s less a meme and more like. a big ol questionare but hey, might as well do it. originally saw it on @/probablyottrpgideas, go check them out

1. Game Master, Player, or both? Why?

Ok so technically I’ve DMed twice but I really don’t find it fun? and don’t ever want to do it again. so. Player. I like building characters and their connections with fellow PCs more than building worlds

2. When did you start roleplaying? How old were you?

oh god, if we’re talking about roleplaying in general? I’ve been doing it basically as long as I can remember. As a kid I would play House, and then once I got older in like 5th grade I actually started making characters and playing out their stories with friends. Google+ is what made me realize this was actually like, a THING, though, and I got into some roleplaying groups there, then on DevaintArt. Dungeons and Dragons is a newer development? I got into it in late 2018 when my sister’s friend invited us to a one-shot, and... well, yea, I got hooked lol

3. What was the first roleplaying book you ever owned?

dude, bold of you to assume I really own any. I don’t have that kind of money and literally only own the Guide to Wildemount, and that was a gift

4. Describe the first game you ever ran or played in.

I mean... it’s not a game but ima describe the one shot, bc my first campaign was a hot mess without a true storyline and I used the same character for it anyway. I played a tiefling bard called Aisling Kai (I didn’t know this was a cliche combo at this point, and I honestly played her like a rogue with a music motif but Whatever) and we were a little group tasked to figure out why the hell anyone who goes into this cave never comes out. So we go in, make our way through the dungeon, fight some frog people (I made one of their ears bleed just by getting a nat 20 on a performance check to play a high f# on flute, that was fun, FWEET), and turns out yep, theres a hill giant down here. We kicked his ass and collapsed the cave on top of us (dw I think we were fine but my memory is a little screwy)

5. What system did you grow up with? / 6. Which system do you play now?

i learned on and currently play dnd 5e. I don’t really know anything else, but I’m debating checking out Vampire of the Masquerade.

7. Longest campaign you’ve run or played in?

That would be my Tal’Dorei campaign group, aka The Fatefallen! Started in the Fall of 2019 and still going to this day, just played our 45th session last week. I play Ilia Liadon, the drow grave cleric, and the only member of our party who has been there for every single session since the beginning.

8. Where did you meet your current gaming group?

...well first I feel the need to mention that I have 3 different groups (2 of them are on hiatus now for pandemic related reasons but! we’re still groups). My first group (with Aisling) was formed slowly over time as friends adopted friends into the group, I think it started as a school club? but that didn’t last long. The other two started from a different school club as well, though one has since branched out into other people as well. 

9. Strategic combat or dramatic plotlines?

I am a roleplayer first and a gamer second. Give me all of the backstories and dramatic plotlines. Don’t get me wrong, I still like combat, but story takes precedent for me.

10. Favorite RPG genre?

I don’t tend to define myself by genre? But I tend to fall into more of a fantasy, at most arcanapunk style. Give me all of the magic, and magic powered tech.

11. Your first character.

I got into her a little bit earlier, but my first character was Aisling, aka Calypso Kai. She was a homebrew subclass bard with a criminal background, who honestly? should’ve been a rogue. I’ve since rebuilt her into an Assassin Rogue/College of Eloguence Bard multiclasser, but this iteration was like. Baby her, baby me new to dnd, I did not know what I was doing. She tried to be edgy, but my mom energy came through HARD and she just. Never really had a set characterization. She deserves better and I plan on playing her better sometime in the future.

12. Your favorite character.

You are making me choose between my children. BUT, if I had to pick, either Ilia Liadon, or! Ashe Wednesday, a protector aasimar drunken master monk and my profile picture. Ashe also deserved a lot better from their campaign, so I have a massive soft spot for them, they were made during a really tough time in my life (as was Ilia) and was going through an equally rough time in-game, since I made them for a Curse of Strahd campaign without understanding what I was getting into. They’re my little rebellious asshole and I love them dearly, someone get this kid therapy. Ilia, on the other hand, is just... she’s a comfort character for me at this point. mostly soft edges, such a mom- while Ashe was me yelling “come at me” at the world while crying, Ilia was just... embracing it. Making it better. basically, if they actually existed, I would die for both of them.

13. Your most ridiculous character.

I don’t usually play super ridiculous characters, but! I would say Keothi “Bookfinder” Vaimeil counts. She was basically me looking all of the goliath barbarian stereotypes in the eye, and going “nah. she’s a nerd.” She’s literally a massive puppy dog, just the sweetest big old thing, sitting in her house and reading all the books she can get her hands on in order to make up for her amnesia. Oh, and did I mention that she’s a zombie? ...yea. She’s wacky, but I love her.

14. The best in-character line you’ve ever had.

“I need sleep. I don’t even sleep and I need sleep.”

~Ilia, after a particularly tough fight and an emotionally draining day

15. Your most epic death.

Ok so... none of my characters in game have ever actually died during the storyline? Keothi obviously has in her backstory, and Ilia might have in hers as well, it was never explicitly stated, but during the game? Nope. Ashe got stupid close, but nope. Since Keothi is my only death period, and her death was pretty epic, I’m just gonna describe that. Her parents and siblings in her Goliath tribe had all fallen ill, so she decided to go searching for a possible cure, and ended up getting conned into helping this cult, since they said they would cure her family. Turns out, yea, they were lying, they just needed a goliath willing to sacrifice themselves with a cursed sword. They made the mistake of revealing this before Keothi was actually dead, so as she was dying, she brought the entire goddamn cultist temple down to the bottom of the sea and took the cultists with her. The sword was why she was undead, in the Shadowfell, and couldn’t remember anything.

16. Your most disappointing death. 

As mentioned, I’ve never died in campaign, but I feel like I have to mention this one that happened to our party in Curse of Strahd. We were in the death house, all 5 of us, still level 1, and our barbarian falls into a pit trap with spikes. None of us realize she’s actually dead, so we send out paladin down to get her... with the monk, the bard, and the warlock holding the rope. ....yea both of them died.

17. Something that shouldn’t have worked, but it did.

I’m stuck between two options for this one. First one was the time our water genasi paladin/rogue bloodbended our gnome cleric into a bridge to keep her from falling all the way down a ravine. The second time was when our party managed to defend a small seaside town from a pirate raid with just an NPC with Control Water, a ballista, ourselves, and some explosives. Neither should’ve worked, but both did. Having a triton in your party can really come in clutch in a seaside campaign.

18. Something that went hilariously awry.

I have one that’s hilarious and one that’s horrifying. Hilarious one: in my first ever campaign, someone from Aisling’s backstory popped up and our sorcerer went “that’s shady” (to be fair, he was) and then went to investigate BY HIMSELF. He obviously got kidnapped by the mafia, and then we went all stealth mission to break him out. Stealth was immediately abandoned after our other bard used a SCREAMING SWORD to break open the locks, then we proceeded to go out the way we came, setting everything on fire on the way out, and with our bard lying their way out the front door (with the rest of us in tow as “prisoners”) by pretending to be a fellow mafia member. It was great. Horrifying one: Ilia tries to Send to a member of the party who left in order to let him know that a fellow party member had died. Forgot that he left bc his mind was invaded by a previously dead, very evil old god, and ends up trapped there with him for a while. Ended up with all of our main spellcasters trapped in their own heads while the barbarian paced around worriedly and the rogue decided he was going to get smashed instead of worrying himself silly.

19. Your most memorable in-character moment.

There are a LOT in Ilia’s campaign, but! If I had to pick one, it would actually be a pretty recent one involving Ilia and our party’s wizard, Liara. They’re basically the embodiment of head vs heart? Anyway, Liara is currently suffering from something called magic corruption, though idk if suffering is the right word. Anyway! It basically resulted in her getting... possessed? by her own magic during the night during Ilia’s watch, and they had a really, really interesting conversation regarding guilt, death, and grief, and yea basically I love them. Honorable mention to our druid’s death (he’s back and better now, but that was my first long-time death in a game, we didn’t know he was coming back) and also the moment that Ilia realized that her childhood bff/crush had been revived in a new body and that this NPC was her best friend. That was a trip.

20. The coolest item you ever got and how you came to possess it.

I got this item in the revamp of my first ever campaign and nothing has topped it since which is Sad but hey. Anyway! I got this really cool, possibly cursed dagger after I threw a knife at an absolutely eldritch being and it got stuck in him as he transformed. It looked really badass, and allowed me to cast Inflict Wounds on occasion when I stabbed someone with it. So yea, we love that. Honorable mention to my paladin/bloodhunter’s Helm of the Aberrant Gladiator which allows you to basically do a bunch of fear based affects and psychic stuff.

Numbers 21 through 30 don’t apply to me but. yea. enjoy this summary of my dnd history I guess

[semi-imaginary-place]

I started watching deca-dence

1: oh what was that called. there’s a name for this tech aesthetic.... also the city is floating on monster goo which is also their energy resource... is that really a good design?????? why is there open access to the monster goo i mean those kids are totally going to fall in. Oh boss dude’s a super secret agent thing. lots of reveals this ep. That action sequence at the end was really cool but wow i do not like those squishing sound effects. also, of all the livestock to raise, why cows??? per pound of protein, cows are horribly inefficient especially when land and resources like water are scare.

2. We have a post apocalyptic society and they kept bagpipes of all things??? I’ve noticed this in fiction and perhaps this is true of real life but sustained conflict coincides with the glorification of the warrior/soldier social class. oh god and now the creators are doing a post moderist take, yay capitalism. this is a good take on the isekai “transported to a game world”/mmo lightnovel genre (see past post). what makes something “real” I was playing of a ttrpg around that concept... mikey’s got all the flags to die horrifically and be part of kaburagi’s tragic backstory. lol kaburagi got turned into a mod. There’s also something dehumanizing and horrifying in managing a society like this all to maintain the status quo. so let’s see if I have this straight, the remnants of capitalism made deca-dence and then a bunch of little robot people who are incentivized via a game system to destroy the squishy monsters. the city design makes sense now it wasn’t made with things like safety or efficiency or any regard for the residents in mind, it was made to look cool. Living in a fuel tank is exactly the type of bullshit to expect from a videogame.

3: kurenai has the vibes of that one cool npc that the the main character out grows to show how strong you’ve become. (the trope is rife with misogyny. who was the one that talked about it? ... femfreq?), wonder what the show will do with it. good job deconstructing the instant expert trope. lit. unregulated capitalism. what is corporations replaced government but for little cyborg people. curious about this minato guy. the 175 years until decommission or whatever makes me wonder how long all of this has been going on. on the screen with the eurasia bubble, were other structures, so i wonder whats happening elsewhere in the world.

4. the game trailer style shots.... the juxtaposition of the tankers discussing battle strategy for a life or death situation, with the cyborgs excited for the next raid event and talking about the game’s story is real good. its a revolving door of mood whiplash. oof dramatic irony since the entertainment corp also seems to control gadoll numbers. Why do none of the Power wear armor? oh right aesthetics and game logic, i answered my own question. I was thinking about this for a little while but kaburagi really does have the set up to be an isekai/mmo light novel protag so I’m really glade we have natsume as well. If done improperly her character type can get kind of annoying, the show did a good job of humanizing her which is important since so much of the disconnect between a game world and a lived reality hinges on her. why isn’t altitude sickness a problem for anyone?

5. yikes. saved twice within the first 10 minutes. maybe dont charge in there natsume. and it was the cool lady too! oh shit limit release. now the stakes are up. isnt kaburagi totally going to get his little head chopped off and the his little green battery extracted.

...

...

...

6. I’ve always had a soft spot for the struggle against the inevitable and unmovable. i was wondering how they were managing the squishies population. just where is this lake? what weird ass hazing system has kaburagi ended up in... is this the slow part of the anime? where they save up frames for the finale?

7. i just realized that kaburagi purposefully chose dog faced characters twice in a row. like he can choose to look like whatever he wants and he good, i feel comfortable looking like this. good for him. How did they punch a hole in the wal anyways, mechanically? with gadoll? We’ve see that they can either change the projection surrounding deca-dence, or actually have full control of all material int he bubble. oh kabu-san you are finally starting to think. but its not the gadoll that are the root of the problem, its the deca-dence system. btw since cyborgs run on the green juice which i think is made from gadolls??? how does kabu plan on fueling everyone. he hasn’t thought about it has he. of course the gadoll have a kill switch. do the tankers have one...?

8. a setup episode. my heart was racing during the avatar retrieval part, so much tension. jill is great. not sure why kaburagi doesnt just tell natsume whats going on. i do think it’d be a shock and a lot to take in just like when the gadoll reset on the mountain, but it’d make coordinating much easier. as is taking her along while not telling her whats going on doesnt feel right. also the green slanty eyed cyborgs given me bad vibes from the start, after all he’s the one that told mikey about removing the limiter. I’m kinda sad we only have 12 episodes so we have to enter the finale already. i would have loved to see the tanker teams, natsume and fei, and minato and kaburagi relationships fleshed out.

9. YEAH YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER EARLIER. so she would have time to process all that world shaking information not in the middle of the operation when it could cost her her life! also doesn’t this mean all the cyborgs still alive are now trapped in the waste disposal place.

10. i totally forgot about that tunnel. that said it looks kinda fragile, how’d it survive the explosion? And how did the robo crew get a hideout?? jill is amazing. she’s like a wizard. Natsume just doesn’t get a break, no ones explained to her the cyborg-avatar thing. I’m too invested in this show to analyze anything.

11. holy shit i wonder what the last few episodes were going to be about. they’re going to black hole the whole place. also we can finally hear pipopi! I thought it a bit funny pruple nose seemed to be taking advice for them but really eh was taking orders? so minato did the tremendously stupid thing of logging out and then hopping on a shuttle to get from orbit to deca-dence so he could talk to kaburagi face to face. even if they take out the gadoll, that doesn’t stop the deca0dence system from having a kill switch on the bubble.

12. POMDOROSA DID THE END SCENE ART. it really is 7 degrees of separation, they have a tumblr here. right as the natsume flashbacks started, I knew what was going to happen. Was it really safe inside the drill thing?? ah whatever. Kaburagi really went all out and busted himself huh. He probably didn’t actually need to use so much force that it’d break decadence. ah I’m rambling. I binged watched this show in 1 day. i started tearing up at the natsume flahsbacks... I dont remember what i just watched it was pure experience. I do wonder whats happening on other continents.. Jill! I can’t believe it took you 3 years to organize your files and find kaburagi’s backup! well i mean its realistic but still.

Deca-Dence is very good, like not even talking about the thematic stuff the execution in both animation and writing are both really good.

[miikiiiiiiiiii]

Review: Log Horizon

I recently got interested in checking out Log Horizon, after it being out for quite a long period of time. (I know I’m pretty late to the party, being almost 6 years since the first season) I wasn’t interested in it when it first came out because I wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of isekai back then, and to be honest even now.

Well to my surprise, I enjoyed this show more than I had expected going in, and even craved for more episodes to watch. (Season 3 is coming out this year!)

If a person like me can love this show, you might also get sucked into the world of Log Horizon. You never know before you try it, amirite?

Perspectives and Moods

So I strongly believe that a person’s perspective and the state on mind highly affects the enjoyment of a certain show. I’m sure that there are many viewers like me that were turned off initially by this gem of a show because we all thought it was a copy of a more popular anime at that time, Sword Art Online. Or maybe you were intimidated by all the unknown game logic and lingo mentioned in the anime.

Thanks to one of my friends who was an avid player of MMORPGs getting me interested in the game genre and the mechanics and basics of an MMORPG, I greatly enjoyed this show and understood most of what the show was trying to portray with getting stuck in an MMOPRG and making use of the loopholes in the rules of the game.

Overall, this show hit all the right notes at the right time for me and ended up being a pretty cracky watch. I was actually quite sad to know that I would have to wait just a bit longer for Season 3 to come. (Oh well, what can we do about that?)

Stuff I liked

1. The ever-growing Log Horizon ensemble cast.

I loved how the show takes its time introducing us to the characters that are central and important to the story going forward. There is the main male lead, Shiroe, the guy awkward at social interactions but is also a brilliant strategist, Naotsugu, the enthusiastic and happy-go-lucky guy, as well as Akatsuki, the stoic and silent assassin but having a pretty cute personality. There are more, but will only list them in the spoilery parts of this review. These three characters are the first few characters to be introduced in the show and immediately you see how they work well with each other. On paper, their personalities are so different that you would expect conflicts left and right, but the show makes it clear from the start that they would form a bond so strong that nothing can ever break it.

SPOILER WARNING

As early as the second episode, you can see how Naotsugu and Akatsuki, despite only meeting for the first time recently, have fallen into this friendly banter, despite it being quite lewd with Naotsugu being a pervert and Akatsuki being very peeved about it. Somehow this banter doesn’t feel forced like in other shows I’ve watched and comes quite naturally. I also like how Shiroe, who was introduced as the socially awkward one, being the one to become the bridge that starts this friendship.

END OF SPOILER

There are so many characters worth mentioning, but if I do list them all with what I loved about them, this review will be crazy long. The characters all have chemistry and none of them feel like a caricature, despite being characters in an anime. I have to say, nicely done.

2. Shiroe

Shiroe is introduced at the start of the story being socially awkward, kinda like a lone wolf. He doesn’t want any association to any guild and the one time he was associated to a group, it wasn’t even a guild. Right from the start the anime shows you how strong he is, being level 90 and having friends that are ALSO level 90, such as Naotsugu, Akatsuki, Marielle, Henrietta (I think? I might be remembering this wrongly) The anime also implies that he is quite well known in the MMORPG world of Elder Tale.

He also starts to make connections and learn more about the world of Elder Tale that he might not have known before and makes use of the knowledge he has learnt to make this new world that they are trapped in liveable.

More that that though, as the anime progresses, you get to see his growth and deepen his friendships with his friends. There is nothing too devastating that happens in Log Horizon, but the setbacks that the main cast do face alongside Shiroe does make him mature and come out the other side a better person.

SPOILER WARNING

One of the events that stuck out to me is how he realised that inventing new magic in the world of Elder Tale is possible by observing how Nyanta is able to cook food that tastes good. He then proceeds to use that knowledge to his advantage and invents new magic that only he could perform at that point in time, contracts. I felt that this shows how smart Shiroe is in making connections that others may not have made, and how he gathers his information by observation.

I also liked the dorky side of Shiroe, especially his love for curry. He may seem like the stoic one in his friendship with Naotsugu, but deep down both of them are equally dorky and thus causes both of them to connect so well.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching his growth as well, from a guy who was a lone wolf and wanted nothing to do with guilds, to becoming a guy who STARTS his own guild. I also liked how even though he was slowly opening up to his friends that he doesn’t immediately become like an open book. He is still quite guarded, as shown by how he didn’t want to let them know his plan when he left Akihabara with Naotsugu to get the finances needed for the maintenance of the town. It is only after losing the raid and realising that he needs to learn to open up and trust in his friends more that he finally opens up and informs them about his motives. This growth feel quite organic and believable, making Shiroe seem more human. I hafta say, I really liked this aspect of the show.

END OF SPOILER

3. Akatsuki

At the start, Akatsuki was quite bland. I thought she was going to be the stereotypical loli girl that is exceptionally good at what she does and becomes peeved when people mistake them for being a young child. To my surprise as the show went on, she quickly rose the ranks of my favourite characters in Log Horizon and stayed at second place until the end of Season 2. (Number 1 is Shiroe, so being number 2 is a pretty good feat!)

Her character got more focus and development in Season 2 compared to Season 1, and although I wish she could have more development in Season 1, I’m actually happy with where she ended up and how she grew and matured until the end of Season 2.

SPOILER WARNING

Right from the first episode, you learn that her avatar in Elder Tale was a tall and lean muscular man. Even though it is a minor detail, I liked how it was subtle foreshadowing for the insecurities she had in real life about her appearance. The constant gags of people calling her ‘shrimp’ were played for comedy but also foreshadowed the insecurity she has about her stature.

In Season 2, we learn that she has low self esteem and felt like she needed to be good at what she does to remain by Shiroe’s side. Because of this insecurity, she also didn’t make any effort to make connections with the other members of the guild and withdrew deeper into her shell.

It is only when she dies and fights the serial killer that she realises that the reason why Shiroe didn’t take her along for the raid was not because she was a burden, but that Shiroe relied on her to take care of the princess. She also regains her confidence and also comes to a realisation that her short stature isn’t a disadvantage, but a unique trait that she has. She starts to open up about her insecurities to the other members and made their bond even stronger.

Although many shows and anime do discuss the theme of self confidence and self love, I like how it never became preachy and instead showed a natural growth in Akatsuki to demonstrate this point. This not only made Akatsuki seem more relatable, but also makes this message more memorable for viewers.

END OF SPOILER

What can I say, I love characters that feel human and relatable.

4. Character moments

I can’t list all of them, or else this post will become WAY too long. So I’m going to list some of my favourites. Of course, SPOILERS INCOMING.

The overall bromance between Naotsugu and Shiroe. A good bromance is always a nice breath of fresh air, in my opinion.

When the mini training camp squad realises that Rundelhaus is actually a Person from the Land and will not revive when he died like the rest of them. I cried so hard there were no more tears to be cried.

The blossoming romance between Marielle and Naotsugu, with their daily 9pm telepathic talks when Naotsugu went on the raid.

The friendship that is coming to be between Krusty and Raynessia. You have no idea how sad I was when Krusty disappeared!

The way how Isuzu held Rundelhaus’s hand when he was going to sign the contract to become an adventurer because he was too weak to do so by himself. Also the fact that he is laying in her lap… I was crying because he was dying but also excited simultaneously because they are so cute! Okay, my fangirling may have gone too far.

When Rundelhaus was so happy to become an adventurer simply because he wants to help others in need, and not for glory or the immortality. He’s such a cutie pie.

Demikas starting out as a pretty shitty guy, bullying the NPCs to becoming a valuable player in the raid. Also his wife, who’s a Person from the Land, being able to subdue him and calm him down.

Also Nyanta. Is there more to be said? He’s so cool~

Moving on!

5. Game mechanics and the mystery elements

I admit, I’m a noob when it comes to MMOPRGs. I do know the basics, but nothing more than that. I’m more of a singleplayer RPG, visual novel kinda person.

The show explains the game mechanics in very simple terms and even a non MMOPRG player like myself could understand the logic. Shiroe alsomanages to find the loopholes and slowly become stronger because of that. Unlike some protagonists that are strong simply because.

The mystery element of the show and how the players got stuck into the world of Elder Tale is also very compelling. The players slowly learn more about this new reality that they are stuck in and learns that the world may be more different than when they were playing the game. This makes the question of ‘how did they get stuck in the game’ and ‘who caused them to get stuck in the game’ become a mystery that needs solving, and not just a plot device used.

Log Horizon is quite clever, much more than I had expected going into the anime.

Stuff I didn’t like

Honestly, I had to REALLY nitpick at this section. There were so many things to love about this show. SPOILER WARNING!

The anime starts off quite abruptly. Without any context whatsoever, you see Shiroe waking up in the world inside a game. He ponders his situation for a bit before realising he can contact Naotsugu. He meets up with Naotsugu and talks to him familiarly.

Even though you know there is backstory regarding them both, you can’t help but feel as if you were missing certain pieces to the puzzle. It’s almost like someone asking you how a puzzle looks like without even you having the pieces to the said puzzle. The pieces do come as the story progresses, however, so this feeling of abruptness doesn’t last long.

The final verdict

Full of action, and lots of nice character moments. Game mechanics are explained simply for noobs to MMOPRG player and can be enjoyed by anyone. Highly reccomended!

[shy-magpie]

RQG 141

The wait is over! Skraak's gonna sober up soon and all signs point to upcoming boss fight. Will they end up with an army of captured Kobolds fulfilling the promise to make Skraak a general or are they going to spend the last episode on the island trying to remember who was tied up where? Patreon thanks have gotten more fun since I started recognizing names.

Alex sounds contrite about possible errors. Ben is honest about the social contract. Honestly these guys hold themselves to too high a standard sometimes. Oh everyone is doing Ben impressions, I love it when you can see they are really are friends Back to the elevator shaft Hamid and Zolf can fly without warning but are Cel and Azu going to be OK? Oh ladder is bad bad bad. Right not their first rodeo: Hamid and Zolf are talking out the plan. Zolf will scout? *scouts* *elevator ain’t moving* *reports* Regarding the text level of the ensuing conversation: Everyone is going to be tied together. No falling allowed. Hamid makes a case for Lightest First, Zolf was thinking Heaviest First. They go with lightest first. Eh I'm no hiker so not going to spend to much brain space on working out which order makes sense. Especially since none of them are allowed to fall, Alex. Subtext: Hamid sounds a little nervous about it but is in leader mode, not presenting an idea to his boss mode. Zolf sounds unsure how to take that level of the conversation but always did take Hamid's ideas seriously; even if only seriously enough to argue about rather than dismiss out of hand. As they discuss it Hamid sounds a bit more confident as Zolf takes it well. Zolf sounds frustrated but I think it's only on the level he explicitly said: this is going to suck and he would rather do it quickly, than have time for worry to really set in. I swear if they have Azu fall on someone like Bertie fell on Sasha; the way the last season of scripted shows do call backs to fan favorite episodes I'll never trust the dice are unweighted again. Eep, fatigue mechanics are starting now Yes having typing as an excuse to pause as they hit the bit we've been worrying about is nice. I don't want anyone to slip but I kinda need Zolf as Iron Man saving someone fan art. Ha Bryn just figured out they can work out how much time has passed by how often Zolf has to reactivate his boots. He clearly knows how much Ben will appreciate being used to add to the admin when he points this out. Oh this is going to be Planes Walking all over again, rolls every few seconds. I refuse to track the numbers, we had too many naturals in both directions. Tired climbing in the dark. Or not: Zolf lights a torch because Hamid can't cast and climb. Fatigued officially kicked in for Cel. Yeah we worried about this in the discord it is a Bad condition. Alex was going to soften it but Zolf has it covered? Well at least cover 7 times a day but there are only 5 of them unless sickened* or one of the other conditions comes up too. Zolf & Cel scene is fun. Rolls, trying to tune it out and just wait for the effects. Mood lightened by Ben rolling for fun. Skraak needs to be rolled for too. Of course Ben is the only one not sounding stressed at this. To be fair its a bit heavy handed by Alex standards to give us an NPC whose two main traits are endearing and vulnerable. Yes, yes, yes! Zolf is carrying Skraak in a little rope backpack! What is up with this design? I'm getting an overpowered kid vibe. Where is Alex going with this? Water reflections? Leaking hydraulics? Break right after pointing out that Hamid's armor is probably gone. Please tell me he can recast if there is something nasty down here. Ouch falling would have hurt even worse than expected. No Cel/Lydia, things that could have easily turned you into pâté are not cool. Alex has trained them too well to just open the door without a plan. Little Kobold Jeffrey's Tube hatch Skraak time. Yes, I know I said Alex was manipulating us, I never said it didn't work. Poor little guy is too cute. Ben admits Zolf would have cured his fatigue. Aquarium tunnel? For just the boss? Doesn't fit the military past and is a stretch for a school, did Yoshida have it added? how rich is this guy? Quick Hamid and Azu moment My respect for Shoin as an alchemist is going down.  Maintain your equipment: you're a mad scientist for heaven's sake. Going back to my “something is using Yoshida as a boogeyman” theory Sorry if this isn't up to my usual. Listening at home instead of waiting for work and I don't think I got 10 minutes in a row undisturbed. Anyway: set design/world building is wonderful. Light turns out to be natural phosphorus(?) from a thermal vent, because Alex world builds from the geothermal layer up. Never let it be said Alex doesn't give the people what they ask for. Thank you Alex and Helen for 15 octopuses and the rest of the table for making the Jurassic Park reference/background music. A pulpy fun scene that was indulgent even before a geeky reference right from my childhood? RQG is good to me Ship wrecks? Gotta be the Mechanical Squid from Dover! Zolf knowledge time Boats were sunk over the last decade? Hamid agrees with me! I am going to be smug even if debunked, at proof I'm thinking the same way as the players. I'm thinking dragging the boats here was just an easy way to be sure they got all the stuff they wanted before dumping the looted wrecks? Telling a machine to grab a boat and bring it back has to be easier than defining what loot it should take and what to dump. Genre savvy Zolf points out we will probably get an evil monologue explaining. Good bye nice safe tunnel. Utility is king in the new complex but no maintenance again? Been damaged without repair too? And has it's own power? Cel is also wondering about the maintenance. Azu points out the danger Cel is accidentally but actively making her more frightened. On a Watsonian level anyways. Lydia knows what she is doing. Literal fun-house is it, Ben/Zolf. The place was set up for the kind of nerdy party RQG fans would love then it was abandoned? But the food was fresh and the costumes were designed for the team? Locker, trap, and Helen gasp. Vial broken, was that what the potion puzzle with the costumes was for? Alex is merciful and reinforcing the "set up for a party years ago and abandoned in place" by the contents being too old to hurt the team. 3 years expired, is that when the party was? Zolf breaks the box because  he does not like puzzle games. It was the prize: 4 vials but also too old to use. The customization is discussed. Lydia has Cel accidentally point out the time skip accounts for a lot of the time element. Well half of it, but if we take 3 years as a solid date, that leaves 18 months before the times skip and I don't think The Rangers were formed over a year before that. Maybe minions who kept updating based on old orders? "Actually"? Alex?!? OK, Broken traps can be tagged on like that. Holy Hades, I was right: Corpse with a bolt through his head?  Gotta be Yoshida. Poor Bryn glitched on his own character name because of all the Salad jokes; honest to god we tease because we love. Ben lightens things back up. Wait hey Zolf's cure fatigue also covers poisons*, is Skraak no longer drugged? Also is he still tied to Zolf? I don't remember them taking him out of the rope back pack. Did a lunch time re-listen/edit of these notes, because the universe punishes me with interruptions if I try to break my ritual. Hope it helped more than made the tone even more confusing. *I could have sworn poisoned was one of the conditions cured by Calming touch (Zolf's spell). I listened while doing my edit pass on this post and I couldn't find it. Maybe that damned processing issue again: you know I can wrap my head around hearing a tone but not make out words; hearing a completely different word so clearly I don't know my ears/brain glitched? Pisses me off more than it presents an actual problem.

[familyvisionis2020]

Day 6 - The Drive Home

Today was the last day of tour. I wake up in the morning feeling guilty because I have a groggy memory of waking up around 8 to go to the bathroom, Paul was waiting to go, but when the person came out I just fronted him (a word I just now remember from elementary school, cut in line, but southern), used the bathroom and went back to bed. Rude. I am wiping the cold from my eye, taking in the undecorated walls of the apartment, and Jeremy comes from down the hall and says ‘Did you get the memo? Louisville cancelled. Tour’s over.” I said ‘fuck’ and processed it. I feel sad for Jeremy and John and Kabir because I know they wanted to play this last show in Kentucky. It’s not that I didn’t, but also for the last three months and for especially the last month I have been feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety about this tour, about feeling out-of-control, about being away from loved ones at home, about being available to show up for people in my life, about completing regular routines of hygiene and spirituality and task completion that make me feel boring and comfortable, both. Touring stirs up dredges of the tea leaves that I had let settle into a fine filmy sediment at the bottom of me. I manufactured a jello mold two years ago and poured myself into it: regular 9-5 in the legal field as a means and precursor to law school, then diligent study for 3 years, then a professional career, abandoning the party life, abandoning trespassing in abandoned buildings, abondoning the luxury of resentment and unproductive time, trying to cool and firm into something reliable, serviceable, dependable, available, a resource people could draw from for once, rather than a leech or slug. And when I go on tour I take that jello mold out of the fridge and it holds its shape but also it warms and the longer I’m out the more liquidy it gets and sloshes over the sides and so forth. So I’m ambivalent because I like what I have to offer to this band, I like the physical process of drumming and expressing myself in the context of music and being a member of a band, but also I feel like I’ve kind of chilled enough and it’s time to settle down. And I’m at a way different point in my life than the other guys in the band it seems like, for the most part. So anyways all this to contextualize the fact that the news of tour ending even earlier than early honestly makes me feel relieved, if not happy, and so then I work to temper that boosted mood for the sake of grim decorum befitting a tour taken before its time. 

All our stuff is locked in the venue from last night and we learn we won’t be able to pick it up until 1pm and so we have about 4 hours to kill in the apartment. Phillip puts on a pot of coffee that will turn out to be some of the wateriest on record, but still, a super kind gesture, and then he also puts on The Wire on HBO Go and we just settle in on the couch and watch for awhile. Some of the scenes are familiar, there’s something seductive about this show, and it brings me back to the precise moment of Summer of 2013 right before I moved to Philadelphia right after I got evicted from the squat/music venue I had been living in that winter and spring, I watched all episodes of The Wire on DVD on Matt Martin’s couch at 3 Pomroy and felt deeply depressed. It ranks up there with when I watched all released episodes of The Office in bed in the winter of 2009 after my girlfriend broke up with me, in terms of memorably devestating life phases offset by the amniotic fluid of full-series of TV. So we watch The Wire and I find myself not too inclined to sit and watch and I want to write so I sit at my laptop on the table nearby and write an email to a female (sorry) but I actually do and its purpose is to make her smile and bring some levity and play and purple prose to a moment in her life that, from how she tells it to me, is just so heavy, nightmares and waking horror and a future that feels like it hangs by a thread. so I’m glad to spend time showing up for her in this small way rather than watching The Wire, and also I write yesterday’s blog post, another activity that feels sort of like a pittance but also like: doing-writing is something I have been putting off, in phases and seasons, for my entire adult life, because to me nothing ever matters enough to write about, or if it does my perspective is deficient, or my research inadequate, or my skill incommensurate with the subject matter, or it won’t properly reflect my feelings, or any number of self-sabotaging excuses to not do this thing I so love doing, and love sharing. So for me, writing this blog is a very meaningful and special act of reclamation of a personal mode of expression that constitutes a break in my winter’s depression and what feels like a new phase of happiness, of believing-i-have-a-future, of feeling more authoratative and qualified to know and describe my own experience in a lifetime marred and dampened by dissociation, oblivion, amnesia, and fugue. So it feels like nourishment to get some paragraphs done and to move slow through my days, get them onto the page.

The Wire grows tiresome at some point and Jeremy fires up the PS4 and then the PS3 looking for games but none are multiplayer and so eventually he settles on Skyrim and starts from a new file. Me personally I love watching let’s plays and this is as good as TV. There was a moment last tour when we were in this strange small town in Connecticut called Torrington (the town all touring bands are required to go to, we also joked), in this town Jeremy was describing the sort of surrealness he experienced there and he said he felt like the townspeople in Torrington were like NPCs in a FPS RPG like Skyrim wherein you would go up to people and press A to talk, say ‘What news?” and that I thought was really funny then, I like his sense of humor. Really Kabir and Jeremy and Royal represent this sort of humor that is to me equal parts razor wit, cleverness, timing, accents, absurdity, and broad conceptual placticity, all for the most part very clean too, never or at least rarely blue (you’re gonna inevitably make a D’s nuts joke and that’s just that). And during happy times I am so grateful to be nearby this humor and during less happy times I get self conscious about how great their humor is and how I sometimes feel like I don’t measure up. But that feeling doesn’t weigh for long. Skyrim is fun to watch, it kills some time, we all take turns trying to kill wolves with swords before Jeremy finally does it, there’s a dragon, we loot corpses, discuss Bloodborne and Dark Souls and comparable games. A lot of the main media activity in this group is discussing how a given media relates to another media, Kabir and Jeremy and John know it seems like everything between the three of them when it comes to record labels, band narratives, artist’s hometowns, etc. So we play Skyrim for awhile, and then eventually it’s time to go to the venue and we drive back to The Salty Nut, load in all our gear, do a final sweep, and say our goodbyes and thankyous to Phillip. We return to the Bandido place one last time for one last round of free local Taco Bell which we absolutely scarf and are very vocally grateful to the people for giving it to us for free again, it’s clear they really put effort into being hospitable to touring bands here, at least through Phillip. His band, Thomas Function, was signed on Fat Possum Records, which also had bigger indie acts like Jay Reatard (who Phillip tells a story about him demanding $50,000 in cash for a show fee to feed his coke and heroin habit, Reatard died at age 29 from cocaine toxicity with alcohol also), The Black Keys, Andrew Bird, Wavves and Soccer Mommy, but which Kabir postulates has most of its success due to having signed octogenarian southern blues legends like R.L. Burnside and King Ernest and raking in royalties from what Kabir speculates is due to poor management of the estates of these dead leagends who each had more than a dozen children. It’s truly fascinating for me to hear how deep and complex the analysis of music these guys have is. When I feel insecure, which is often, I tend to veneer these sorts of expertises and shibboleths among music-heads as snobby, elitist, exclusionary, petty and asinine. But I think most of that comes from a fear that I lack the insight, cognitive absorbency, and passionate research skills to collate and catalog data about artists in the way these people do, the way my bandmates do. I feel inspired to take time to dig deeper into the musicans I love, to make them real to me, to get a sense of their story, their lived experience, for the sake of corroding the mediation between us somewhat, or at least polishing the media membrane. 

I volunteer to drive for the first half of what will end up being about a 10-hour drive back from Huntsville to Chapel Hill. We go to a Whole Foods in Huntsville upon Kabir’s insistence where I purchase a nootropic snakeoil energy affair in beverage form, Kabir gets hot coffee and a La Colombe Draft can of latte, Jeremy gets a kombucha made from yerba mate (“best of both worlds” he says), John black coffee as per, and Kabir also buys a slice of Tres Leches cake in a clear plastic to-go clamshell: “they can take away my tour, but they can’t take away my tres leches.” Later he’s eating it in the van and he accidentally spills some on himself and he says “shit…spilled some on myself. oh good, it was only one leche” which to me is so funny and perfect humor and just like kind of a paragon of the kind of joke I so treasure from this friend group. Another is when Jeremy and Kabir are recalling a favorite running joke from two tours ago, wherein they were in Philly, home to the famous Schuykill River (pronounced skoo-kill, at least when i lived there, at least around the non-indigenous people i knew), and while there they would affect this blaring Brooklyn accent, deployed heavily on this trip as well for basically any purpose, but back then they would say “UGH MY SKOYKL IS KILLING ME” like Schuykill was lombago or sciatica and also would say “YEAH LET ME GET A KWATA POUND OF SKOYKL ON RYE” like it was a deli meat, and they laughed and laughed. Also they liked doing rhyming jokes like last night there was a chair nearby the combo amp Tired Frontier was going to use for their set and Kabir goes ‘amp on the chair, tone everywhere’ and then I say ‘amp on the ground, makes a bad sound’ and then I tell Jeremy later how Kabir would put me in good spirits whenever I was describing to someone how my LSAT score is very competitive but my checkered past makes the acceptance process a little less than straightforward, and Kabir would see I was getting kinda down and anxious, and he would say ‘You gotta break the law before you make the law,’ and we all laugh and I love that, the function of humor as balm, salve. I want to wield my humor like that.

The drive back is fine, some sprinkles, nothing major, clear traffic for the most part, I feel like I have a good command of the van, keep it around 75 for most of the trip, feel smoth and confident switching lanes, passing, etc. We do another two NYT Wednesday classic crosswords together, Kabir is getting probably 40% of the clues, me maybe 30% Jeremy and John the other 30%, Kabir will just to YEAHHHHHHHH after getting a clue and I start doing that too after Jeremy says “X down, ‘on the table’ 15 letters,” and I say UPFORDISCUSSION after only a couple seconds and it fits and is correct and I feel like a damn genius and we’re all laughing and kind of praising each other half-jokingly for being strong beautiful geniuses who also we know songs. This is a great passtime and the drive flies by and before I know it we’re in Western NC just outside of Asheville and we make a stop to refuel the tank and get dinner. We decide on a Waffle House across the street, not wanting to venture too deep into Asheville for something healthier and better because of the time and money it would likely eat up, Kabir says that FEMA uses the closing of Waffle Houses as a bellweather to indicate the severity of a given natural disaster. We go inside, the waitress says ‘ya’ll aren’t from around here are you?’ in a way that I take to be hostile and I suggest that to the guys and they seem like maybe slightly offput but not very much and we decide not to abort and I later feel foolish because I think I am doing this thing where I become excessively vigilant or sensitive to a perceived slight to a friend who is brown for the putative purpose of interceding on their behalf against racism but what’s actually happening is if someone was racist to them they could just stand up for themselves and make their own call regarding their own comfort or lack thereof and I would do better to act less motivated by white guilt when avoidable. That passes, it’s fine, we eat hash browns and waffles and eggs and grits and toast and cover everything in tobasco and tip well and get back on the road, John takes over for the final stretch. 

I return a call from Marty and catch him up about tour being cancelled and we discuss our fears and hysteria and cancellations and reaction and so forth. Marty remarks that he is a gravedigger during the plague, which is the best possible job to have. It’s not a joke because he actually drives a backhoe working for a cemetary and digs actual graves, super weird and eminently punk/goth and kind of a curiosity but really perfect for the lead singer of one of the South’s premiere punk bands, especially after his being fired from the swish cafe he worked at in Richmond before that. I love Marty and catching up and it feels good to hear his voice. After I get off the phone it sort of becomes campfire spooky story time in the van with everyone proffering their take on the panic, market failure, the likelihood of Capitalism as a superstructure to require perpetual growth even at the peril or death of its working class, the superior response to covid that South Korea and Norway seem to have mounted, a lot of fear of financial insecurity. Eventually this digresses to talk of touring, and the guys discuss all manner of various routes throught the South, Midwest, Northeast, plains states, PNW, Mexico City, Jeremy says ‘I can get us a show in Colombia’ which he can, Argentina or Venezuela through a mutual friend, then Europe so long as the label foots the bill for the plane ticket, then Japan, setting up camp on Honshu would make it easy to hit TOkyo, Kyoto, Osaka and Nagoya no problem, except where exactly are people playing shows? there’s gotta be somewhere all these Japanese Noise and Hardcore bands are getting gigs, and then from there of course it’s not hard to get to Australia, John knows a band there, and they go all around the world and this is stressing me out a little bit, only because I wonder about how much they think I would be involved or want to go on such a theoretical tour, and the answer is I don’t 100% know. Part of me wants to say this is my last tour, lean all the way in to law school and leave behind this chapter. Part of me feels like it’s better not to make a hard and fast statement like that because what if the economy collapses and for some reason school is a no-go but being in the band becomes the most plausible source of income or something. I get anxious and psych myself out and quiet down and feel foolish and wish to be home. I fantasize about my future life of stability, but I second guess myself because I just don’t know for sure how my life will be, and want to be careful to work toward the goals I think will be the most fulfilling, self-actualizing, spiritually nourishing, healthy for me; I also want to not forsake the friendships and bonds I’ve forged in these weird intimate moments in the van with the guys. I have the wherewithal to know that nobody is requiring me to make a decision right this second, and that as time passes it’s likely that the best course of action will be revealed one way or another if I can keep from panicking. So I watch videos of the 2019 Classic Tetris World Championships on my phone, eat two candy bars, watch videos of a streamer named Wumbotize play the latest Tetris game, Tetris Effect (2018, PS4, PC), and am pleasantly awed by how crazily far the skill curve of that game has shot up. I have some time ahead of me that is completely free, which is so nice. Before I know it I’m back home in my clean apartment which is tidy like a tetris field at the beginning of a new game and I get into my bed and lay down flat and if my bed is the well than the line of me clears and the well is clean, smooth, primed, for whatever falls tomorrow. 

[captainvideogame]

Underhero game review

A game that reminds you what Mario RPGs used to be.

Just because its called Underhero doesn't mean the game is heavily influenced by Undertale. Its actually more influenced by the Mario RPGs especially Paper Mario and Mario and Luigi series. I saw this game thanks to Jim Sterling's video about it and from a glance, it looked interesting. After playing it, I can safely say that this is a really awesome game that people should get their hands on! Here is my review of Underhero.

Story: 4.5/5

Once upon a time, There is a kingdom called chestnut kingdom where evil always lurks and Heroes always arrive to fight away evil and save the princesses. And the tradition keeps continuing. One day, a Hero arrives to defeat the main villain but before doing that, he is blocked by minions. However, the strangest thing that happened is that the hero gets killed by a minion's scheme. From here on, this is where the story begins.

The story is almost fantastic and well written. It has a great sense of humour all around like breaking the fourth wall, having characters do foolish actions etc. Every single character has some level of depth and personality that you will like them regardless. Almost none of the characters in this game are dull nor annoying and that's the really best part of the entire game. This moment right here reminded me a lot about what Mario RPG games used to be.

The only real problem here is how the plot ends because it ends on a cliffhanger and an unsatisfying one at that. Had that ended on a higher note, I would have personally given it a full star rating but sadly, that's not the case.

Graphics: 4/5

Yes. Even the game's graphics are not bad as they are colorful, pleasant to look at and never has anything bland. The animations for the most part are spot on. The only flaw here is the little bit of a lack of additional animations such as falling on a bottomless pit or defeating an enemy.

Music: 5/5

The music in this game is overall fantastic. It has a mix between music that is chiptune to music that is deep. The music infact makes some of the characters stand out. My personal favourite is Stiches theme because it reflects on his overall character. Even the sound effects are great as they add depth to the humour of the plot.

Gameplay: 3.5/5

And now we come to the ultimate slice of the game which is the gameplay. You play as a minion who wears a mask that is similar to a Mario enemy called a Shy Guy. You're only functions are walking or running left and right, jump and use your hood to glide and of course climb on ropes, entering doors and talk to NPCs around you. The game normally plays like a platform game where you jump on platforms, collect coins, solve some basic puzzles and explore the level around to find treasure chests that reward you with either coins, upgrades or a side quest items.

When you encounter enemies by simply touching them, you are in the turn based battle gameplay and this is where the Mario RPG similarities begin. You have three types of attacks which are the sword, the slingshot and the hammer. Each has their own advantages and disadvantages. The sword is the basic and the fastest of the three but it is weak while the slingshot helps to shoot enemies from a far off distance and the hammer, while slow to execute is powerful and deals massive damage. The final move you get is the Rush mode where you must first fill both your stamina and the Rush gauge and then use your sword to do massive amounts of slicing at the cost of your stamina and the rush mode gauge being fully depleted. You can also deal bonus damage if you time your attacks based on the rhythm of the background music that plays.

Of course all of this comes for a price which is the stamina. Using the attacks cost some amounts of stamina and if you drain the stamina, you will get exhausted and you will have to wait for a while to resume combat but the same applies for the enemy.

For defence, you have your jump, crouch and the shield. Jumping and crouching help for dodging the enemy attacks similar to the Mario and Luigi RPG series while the shield is used for blocking attacks that are hard to block but this depletes your shield health and if it reaches zero, you can't use it unless you get it repaired. But if you time the block just right, you create a parry which not only stuns your enemy but also does not deplete your shield kind of similar to Paper Mario.

Besides combat, there are also two things you can do. Talk to enemies before fighting them but if you attack them, you can no longer talk to them. The other option is to pay them so that you don't have to fight them but this is a problem due to money being very scarce.

Now the reason why this gets a lower score compared to the others is because the gameplay has some flaws. The problem here is the game mechanic as its not always well executed. When facing bosses, you won't encounter them on battle mode as you often instead have to stun them so that you can damage them in battle mode making them not very challenging.

Then comes the problem with leveling up. Now interestingly, this game doesn't ask you to grind a lot. Infact, when you defeat enemies, they are gone for good just like how it is in Undertale. The downside here is the overall lack of satisfaction. While the game isn't hard to the point that you need grinding, it doesn't seem rewarding getting a level up because of how pointless it almost is besides the stamina gauge filling higher. Unlike the Mario RPG games where there is a reason for the battle systems to exist, here, if you remove this mechanic and made it to like Super Paper Mario style of gameplay, then this game would have been much better. But for what it does now is half baked at best.

And finally..the replay value. Now this game is pretty short of about 12-16 hours at best but the issue here is that there are almost no side quests to get into with only about few of them and that's that. There's no additional modes that you unlock, no optional bosses to face. Its just the main story that you deal with and nothing else.

Overall: 4.5/5

While the gameplay might not be well polished, its still great for what it does especially the plot, graphics and music and since this is an RPG game, the overall experience is still satisfactory and for anyone into RPGs or just want to remind themselves of what Paper Mario used to be, this is a game for those type of people.

[puppyenergy]

@rickenrolled​ you’re an absolute mad man i love you. here’s all my answers. long ass post beneath the cut

1. Who’s your favourite character from UT?

i love them all but if i had to pick one then chara

2. Who’s your least favourite character from UT?

asgore

3. Your opinion about UT fandon:

very sweet, lots of smart and lovely and creative and gay people. could do without all the transphobes and incest/pedo shippers tho but like, theyre kinda everywhere aren’t they. like flies! smack

4. What’s your favourite quote?

“you never gained LOVE, but you gained love. does that make sense? maybe not.“

5. What’s your favourite soundtrack?

death by glamour

6. Pacifist, neutral or genocide?

pacifist

7. Why did you decide to play UT?

when it came out, my first exposure to it was thru supporting a friend who had recently started a youtube channel and they did a playthru of undertale! i ended up being unable to wait for them to finish it and just went and bought the game myself so i could play it. i was just so invested, i couldn’t wait for them to upload asklghskl

8. Favourite battle?

undyne’s

9. Favourite scene?

GOD I CAN’T CHOOSE JUST ONE SCENE. fuck. you can’t do this to me.

10. Your first letter to Mettaton was:

“legs” probably sldkghsd i don’t remember

11. Your reaction when you saw Omega Flowey for the first time:

VERY SCARED. I LEGIT THOUGHT MY GAME WAS POSSESSED.

12. Your headcanon about Frisk’s gender:

they’re nonbinary but i specifically headcanon them as agender! i also rlly dig genderfluid frisk as well bc same.

13. Which UT character reminds you of yourself?

mostly frisk but also chara and also mettaton

oh and all the dogs

14. Which UT character reminds you of your best friend?

TEMMIE. we are dog and cat solidarity.

15. Would you smooch a ghost?

i already have!

16. Which UT character would be your best friend? Why?

all of them. i will befriend them all.

17. Do you remember your first killed character? Who was that?

toriel ;_; i reset & redid the entire game for her, i felt so bad

18. Did you do sth in game you regret?

killing toriel lmao

19. Which ending was your first?

pacifist!

20. Your favourite land in UT and why: (Snowdin, Waterfall or Hotland)

snowdin is my favorite... it’s just so home-y. i rlly love snow, it brings a lot of happy memories. the christmas aesthetic does as well. and it’s also where you meet sans & papyrus & all the dogs. it’s just such a happy place.

21. Your favourite place in UT and why: (Undyne’s house for example)

i just rlly love snowdin ok. every area in snowdin. i still remember my little gasp!! when i found out that the snow on frisk’s head is always a different shape every time you go thru that slide-y puzzle.

22. Your headcanon about River person’s gender:

“it doesn’t really matter.”

23. Your headcanon about one of the UT characters:

papyrus is nonbinary!

24. Butterscouch or cinnamon pie?

cinnamon!

25. Your opinion/headcanon about six human souls:

i always connect the deltarune characters to the six human souls for some reason. kris is the cyan soul, susie is the purple soul, ralsei is the green soul, lancer is the blue soul, noelle is the yellow soul, and then im not sure who would be the orange soul... ofc only one of them is actually human but that’s always an association i made asdlghsd

26. With who would you go on a date?

none of them tbh sdkglhskdlgha i would go on hangouts with them tho!

27. Marry, fuck, kiss and kill:

marry: napstablook fuck: mettaton kiss: all of them getting kisses from me!!! mwah kill: none :(

28. Do you wanna have a bad time?

no!! i wanna have a fun time. a sillay ol’ time.

29. Your favourite UT au:

there’s this one unfinished comic someone made a while ago i don’t even remember what it was called but it was about two charas or smth??? idek if that counts as an au but tbh that comic is the origin of my love for feral chara

30. Your least favourite UT au:

all of the ones where anyone is misgendered or there’s incest/pedo/abuse in it it just automatically makes it a bad au.

31. Would you want to fall into underground?

i mean, yeah. where’s the hole. i’m on my way.

32. Describe or draw your undersona:

the puppy is specific to dfta

my other undersona is dragon kid. he’s a human & monster fusion with a rough past. he’s also adopted. the cat is his sibling.

33. One reason why you love UT:

toby said Hello LGBT Community

34. One reasom why you hate UT:

frisk’s design is,, u kno

35. If you could choose one type of food from UT, what would it be?

dog salads for days!

36. Your favourite amalgamate:

snowdrake’s mother & endogeny

37. Your headcanon about Gaster: who do you think Gaster is to Sans and Papyrus? (Father, brother, uncle etc)

i like to headcanon him as their dad

38. Your opinion about bad puns:

they’re good, ok.

39. Do you draw fanarts from UT? If yes, then what do you like the most to draw?

yes i do asklghsdkgl i could probably draw chara/frisk/asriel forever and be ok with it

40. Which of human souls fits you the most?

red, baby

41. What would be the first thing you would to show to Sans, Papyrus or the rest of characters in human world? Why?

the stars!!! they’ve been wishing on rocks for too long. time to see the real thing.

42. Which song reminds you of UT or one of the UT characters? Why?

skglhslkhg i make playlists just for this tbh. i have a playlist for mettaton, chara, frisk, asriel, undertale in general, and then one for both chara & frisk. too many songs to talk about rn so here’s the most recent one i added to chara’s playlist:

https://soundcloud.com/serious-url/last-night-on-earth-2

my favorite lyric is “we are horrible but not bad”

43. Your opinion on underloid:

i. i’m not sure what that is askdlghsdk

OH I JUST LOOKED IT UP ITS UNDERTALE VOCALOID??? i’ve never listened to it before but tbh that’s real cool

44. Do you forgive Asgore for what he’s done?

no lol

45. Did you pay for Tem’s college?

I DIDNT, IM SORRY TEM... i just dont have the patience to sell all that residue

46. Have you seen any youtube letsplay of UT?

i swear i’ve seen them all now. i watch them when i need some free serotonin. u_u

47. Do you listen to any fanmade songs? If so, then which are your favourite?

i don’t rlly listen to any but i have a few saved! i rlly love the fucking checker dance & death by glamour mashup

48. What are your favourite theories?

narra!chara if you can even CALL that a theory man it’s literally canon

i also rlly like the theory that ut sans is actually from deltarune, and also maybe a darkner.

49. Who is your favourite enemy? (Not including boss monsters)

LESSER DOG

50. Do you have any headcanons about Chara’s past? (Why they hate humanity, why did they fell to the underground etc)

i think they had some pretty shitty ppl in their life until they met the dreemurrs, probably.

51. Who is your favourite dog?

DONT DO THIS TO ME,

52. What was your reaction to true lab?

fear and a lot of emotion

53. Your fabourite voice acting:

myself sakldhgklsh

54. At the end of pacifist run did you stay with your friends or did you come back to your family?

i always send frisk to stay with toriel bc as their player guardian i would not feel comfortable with myself if i just left a child stranded on their own. it was the same in oneshot. if i’m ur temporary game dad then i’m leaving u in a safe place before the game ends ok.

55. Who is older - Sans or Papyrus?

sans

56. Your OTP(s):

OK LISTEN. GOATBUN,,

also ALPHYNE

57. Your NOTP(s):

any of the incest/pedo ones. especially with fr4ns & ch4sriel i’m gonna get real stabby.

58. Your BROTP(s):

chara/frisk haa

59. Your favourite puzzle:

i like the shooty spaceship ones!

60. Which battle was the hardest for you?

fingers in his ass.... fingers in his ass.... asgore he likes b

61. Did you still hate Flowey after you discovered his true indentity?

i never hated flowey, ok. and also no.

62. The saddest moment:

“the next day.”

“the next day.”

“...”

“the human died.”

63. Which ending is your favourite?

true pacifist, pls

64. How old do you think Frisk is?

9, maybe? i always change my mind on this asdlghsdk. they’re just a baby. age is baby.

65. Any post pacifist run headcanons?

both chara & asriel get revived. always.

66. Your favourite NPC:

the trans woman lionness npc who mettaton gives his dress to

67. Humans or monsters?

both!

68. The funniest situation:

my brain is failing me but i fucking love the idea that frisk is just walking away from undyne during her battle sequence and she’s just CLANK CLANK CLANK in her armor stomping after but ugh has to stop and wait while frisk gets a phonecall and UGH has to check on sans who fell asleep at his post.

AND UNDYNE’S HANGOUT

UGH JUST UNDYNE IN GENERAL I LOVE HER

69. Skeletonfucker, robotfucker, goatfucker or kinkshaming?

listen i KNOW i said i’d fuck mettaton but i’m NOT a robotfucker.

70. When playing for the first time how many candies did you take?

one! i wanted to be a good boy.

but then i just went ham,

71. Did you kill or spare Flowey at the end of the game?

spare and i got emotional with how he reacted

72. If you had to be one of the main characters, which would you choose?

73. If you had to kill one of the main characters which would you choose?

i wouldn’t kill any of them!! i love them all. i refuse.

74. Which character(s) would you like to cosplay?

HMM. i could probably pull off frisk the best.

75. Your favourite Burgerpants’ quote?

[sundayswiththeilluminati]

I have a bunch of thoughts about the War of the Spark novel but I JUST DISCOVERED THERE ARE JAPANESE ANIME VERSIONS OF ALL THE PLANESWALKERS IN THIS SET AND I NEED TO RATE THEM ALL LET’S GO

First off, all images are from here, and credit to their respective artists (listed on the card). In color order, we have:

Karn, the Great Creator: Looks pretty much the same. Like the warping effect of the scenery around him though, and he looks really mad. Minus points for forgetting he wears pants now, but the English artist forgot too so I can’t ding them too hard. 6/10.

Ugin, the Ineffable: All of Ugin’s cards kinda look like this, but there’s not much else you can do with him. Like the more aggressive action pose than his English art. 6/10 did not need the crotch shot though.

Gideon Blackblade: The English art is actually way more anime than this one. This Gideon just looks bored. 3/10.

Teyo, the Shieldmage: Now this is what I’m talking about. Clearly an anime take on the same model as the photorealistic English art, but jazzed up with a super-cool action pose as befits someone in the middle of a massive war. 10/10.

The Wanderer: The Wanderer already had a super-anime look and this art brings it home. Love the slash extending over the text box. Looks like the scene that comes right before the English art, like this is the freeze-frame ninja slash and the English one is the walking away while your enemy slowly falls down dead. 9/10.

Jace, Wielder of Mysteries: IT’S JOJO’S JACE. JOJACE. Jace never gets to have cool action poses and this one is long overdue. He is definitely about to wield a mystery into an Eternal’s face. 10/10 go get ‘em Jace.

Kasmina, Enigmatic Mentor: Hard to pin down the exact difference, but I like this art way less than the English version. I had to double-check to make sure it was the same character; it’s so generic and has none of the same vibe. Then again the English version was done by Villeneuve so maybe it’s not a fair competition. 2/10.

Narset, Parter of Veils: This is a beautiful portrait of Narset back when she was 12. Anime has a major problem drawing any woman between the age of 18 and 65 and Narset is just the first victim in this list. Everything else looks amazing; it’s especially a shame here because Narset has that flowing kung-fu silks look that’s right in the anime wheelhouse. 5/10 what could have been.

Davriel, Rogue Shadowmage: He MAD. Almost too mad. Davriel looks so much bigger and scarier in this art that I had to make sure it wasn’t Ob Nixilis. Super-cool final boss style but maybe too super-cool for someone who’s actually a skinny Innistrad shut-in. Kinda generic pose too. 6/10.

Liliana, Dreadhorde General: They brought in Yoshitaka Amano for the mythic, huh? I know I dinged Narset for looking 12 and this Lili looks even younger (if possible) but Amano does have this weird abstracted style and the rest of her looks real spooky. She looks more like a yokai than a person - like this is something you’d get killed by at the finale of a really spooky Japanese horror game. Normally that’d be a good look for Lili but this is the one set where she’s supposed to be at least a little human, so 8/10.

Ob Nixilis, the Hate-Twisted: Big mad demon lad. Not a lot you can do with Ob Nixilis, really. 5/10 did their best with generic material.

Chandra, Fire Artisan: Chandra in the English art always looks like she’s about to throw a fireball, but never does. Now she finally gets to. It’s a generic anime action pose but not one we’ve gotten with Chandra so I’m for it, and she doesn’t look toooooo twelve. Maybe 15. Good colors. 9/10 nice Kirby hand.

Jaya, Venerated Firemage: Was worried about this one because anime doesn’t handle older women well in art, but it’s not too bad. Clearly different from Chandra’s art, which is always gonna be a problem when they’re in the same set. Like her neat twirly staff trick. Something is weird about her face though. Like it was painted on after the rest of it. IDK. 6/10.

Sarkhan, the Masterless: This is the only time I’ve actually been intimidated by Sarkhan. 9/10 doesn’t have a dragon in the art.

Tibalt, Rakish Instigator: Similar to the above, this is the only time I’ve been interested in Tibalt as a character. A way better rendition of the epithet “Rakish Instigator.” Absolutely your friend’s Problematic Fave from an anime they describe as “Hellsing but with more magical girls.” 10/10 would make an excellent Bloodborne NPC.

Arlinn, Voice of the Pack: Same as Narset, this is great art of Arlinn like thirty years ago. Love the dynamic pose (though I can’t figure out what her hand is doing with that hammer), but real Arlinn is a battle-scarred Sigourney Weaver and there aren’t even any wolves. 4/10 needs more wolves.

Jiang Yanggu, Wildcrafter: This one is kinda cheating since Jiang was developed specifically for the Chinese market and is basically an anime character already, but still. Look how pumped he is. Look at Mowu. Look how good of a boy he is. If this were the English art people would be getting mad that he doesn’t look Chinese but that’s a whole stew of identity issues I’m not getting anywhere near. 8/10 adorable good boyes.

Nissa, Who Shakes The World: I’m not...No. I’m not going anywhere near this. Gross. 0/10 keep it on your deviantart page.

Vivien, Champion of the Wilds: What did I just say about Nissa? What did I just say. The action lines swooping out of the art across the frame & text box are cool and that’s the only reason it gets a point. 1/10.

Ajani, the Greathearted: He is a big pretty kitty but honestly this art is kind of a letdown. Given anime’s love of cat-people, this is the place where I’d expect the fanservice, but it’s just basically a model-sheet pose of Ajani. Looks like a bad alter of Brimaz, King of Oreskos. Honestly I’d have expected the English version of this card to be the Japanese one, and vice versa. 3/10 he still a big fluffy kitty.

Domri, Anarch of Bolas: This is RAD. If Domri had to bow out (spoilers) this is the kind of card art to do it on. Beautiful colors, furious pose, avoids the “young boy or butch lesbian” look that most of his other art falls into (that’s not a joke; I’ve fielded multiple questions about his gender from confused new players). Any feral teenager would be thrilled to look this badass. Gruul SMASH. 10/10.

Nicol Bolas, Dragon-God: Is this another artist like Amano who has a kinda stylized look? Because otherwise this is just...bad. Not at all befitting of a dragon-god. You’d think with all of Ravnica before him he’d be able to do better. 2/10.

Ral, Storm Conduit: Honestly can’t decide how I feel about this art. The detail is amazing and the lightning is killer but there’s just something weird about Ral. Maybe he’s not smirking enough. Maybe his legs are too big. I want to like this more than I do, but I don’t. 7/10.

Sorin, Vengeful Bloodlord: I’m so mad about this art because it makes Sorin look way cooler than he has any right to. The sword, the coat, the swirling ribbons of blood. But anime’s always had a way with vampires, so Sorin is the undeserving beneficiary of a skilled Jojo’s upgrade. 8/10 it was ME ALL ALONG yeah you know the joke.

Tamiyo, Collector of Tales: Tamtam’s another character whose East Asian origin makes her very well-suited to the anime look. In fact I’d say her white skin and complicated ears/headdress look turns out better in an anime style than a photorealistic one. Her skeptical look and halo of floating scrolls are just the icing on the cake. 9/10 dinged a point because the happy Ravnica skyline behind her is a weird choice and ill-suited to the mood.

Teferi, Time Raveler: Anime seems to do a lot better with middle-aged men than middle-aged women. A perfectly serviceable, if bland, Teferi. 5/10.

Angrath, Captain of Chaos: He EXTREMELY MAD. Angrath’s signature red-hot chains are perfect for a swirling anime post and the artist took good advantage of them. If anything he’s almost too bestial, though - Angrath is actually a loving family man and blacksmith who’s so furious because he was trapped on Ixalan for decades away from his home and loved ones. 7/10 somehow too mad.

Ashiok, Dream Render: Now that’s how you draw an inscrutable dream-creature who wields your deepest nighmares. 10/10 love the way they seem to be looking the player in the eye, as if they’re about to conjure your specific personal fears.

Dovin, Hand of Control: Perfectly serviceable Dovin art but I don’t like the thopters and that is unforgiveable. 0/10 because fuck this guy, seriously, and 0/10 on the English art for also having bad thopters while we’re at it.

Huatli, the Sun’s Heart: Huatli also suffering a little de-aging here but I’ll let it slide because she absolutely looks like the main character of a cult 90s anime and I would watch the hell out of it. Major Nausicaa vibe here, but with dinosaurs. Sign me up. 9/10 bad riding posture though.

Kaya, Bane of the Dead: Kaya with the straight-up Ghibli treatment here. There’s nothing technically wrong here but it’s totally the wrong mood and pose for her. I’d watch that Ghibli movie though. 4/10.

Kiora, Behemoth-Beckoner: A pretty literal interpretation of the epithet but who cares, it’s badass and way more tasteful than I feared we might get for the one planeswalker who could plausibly be drawn with tentacles. Love the attention paid to the water and the details of it splashing off her fins. 8/10 is that a walrus? but like with tusks on the bottom jaw? upside down walrus?

Nahiri, Storm of Stone: Repeat after me: NAHIRI IS LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD. SHE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE SHE’S FOURTEEN. She looks in her twenties at the youngest. Reminds me of Mara Sov from Destiny, who is also thousands of years old, looks in her twenties, and gets drawn like she’s 12. Even apart from the de-aging this is just awkward art. The pose is bizarre, the background is weirdly photorealistic, and Nahiri has no expression. 3/10 at least it isn’t a boobs & butt pose.

Saheeli, Sublime Artificer: I...do not know what is going on here with Saheeli’s face. Or her body proportions, really. I guess it’s supposed to be foreshortened but her gormless expression and the weird Lisa Frank colors make me think of a Disney Channel cartoon about planeswalkers. The beautiful detail on the flowing metal is nice but the rest is just strange. 4/10 nice metal dragon though.

Samut. Tyrant-Smasher: I really like this art but it makes me think a lot of people are going to make jokes about Samut “looking like a man” or “barely being a woman,” especially since her name isn’t very clearly gendered, and that just makes me sad. The art itself is nice and totally on-model for her, though her shoulders are kind of weirdly broad and it’s a shame they didn’t take advantage of the anime style to do some cool speed lines like her haste-powers need. 8/10 good righteous avenger look.

Vraska, Swarm’s Eminence: Oh maaaaaan, I want to complain about the cartoonishly-young look and the weirdly-realistic background that makes her look composited in, but the artist really nailed that regal pose and took full advantage of her swirling snake-hair. This is definitely a Vraska both large and in charge. 7/10 you still get dinged for de-aging and also is she sitting or standing, it’s hard to tell.

[sharp-exhale]

What the fuck is this movie?: a brief review on Polar (netflix)

[Beware: Spoilers]

I haven’t done a review on here in a long time, but lately my private reviews have just been essays tearing apart movies i find dissatisfying (which are many). this is (probably) not going to be an objective  or deep review (if much of one at all), and if anyone else has watched it, I’d genuinely love to get your take on what made it work or not [especially since i’m blown away by its 91% rating on rotten tomatoes as of jan. 27, 2019].

Main issues:

who wrote this fucking script? there is no subtext, there is no “show, don’t tell”. everything the characters think is spoken and none of their thoughts are in any way profound or a twist. This is about 70% of my issue with the film because having your characters speak their personality rather than show their personality has made this the most boring watch of 2019. the bad guys aren’t menacing because they monologue like cartoon villains, which is only made worse by the fact that they are in no way clever or an actual threat. everyone that the “villains” have gone against have been helpless, stupid, or both, and they never face a real challenge, yet a pack of them travel everywhere?

(moments i liked in the script/character interactions: big guy earnestly imploring sindy to go and get breakfast after she stabs a dead man 10 times, duncan teaching the elementary school kids and no one batting an eye that he models a dismemberment on a 7 year old volunteer, the actual psychological horror of forced addiction [until i realized that it was never resolved])

every “fight” scene lasted about 5 minutes too long. I don’t need to see duncan threatening to drill a hole through someone’s head to get information. I don’t need to see The Goons Five beating up an old man for information they literally could have opened a drawer to find. I don’t need to see said goons spending a whole goddamn scene trying to strangle (and fail), shoot (and fail) a random obese man and treat him like a spectacle the entire time just for information that (at this point) They Already Have.

on this same topic, ass shots and sex scenes were unbelievably long. i don’t need to follow an ass in booty shorts down an entire hallway. we get it, sindy is hot, and she likes to dress up wherever she goes. We don’t need that reinforced every time she’s on the damn screen. also, why does every sexy character sound as if you made a porno of npc’s: no woman giggles and moans for no goddamn reason when you lift a dumbbell or smile at her in a strip club.

women exist in 3 categories: matronly, young and hot, and the elusive young and traumatized.

the bad guy’s npc goons wear a bad guy uniform. company dress code i guess.

no real qualms with the videography (but i hated how it cut between scenes and the over the top “graphic novel” vibe they tried to force back into the film with the character and location titles)

the first scene of the movie put me off so bad i almost didn’t continue watching it. No human being talks like this, has conversations like this, or interacts with each other like this. zooming into crotch and ass shots couldn’t distract me from it.

50% of the dialogue doesn’t need to exist. Neither do i need to hear the dying groans of 100 guards. The majority of speaking roles contribute nothing to the story and seem only to serve in extending the scene, i.e. that scene with the creepy pervert in the penthouse that wouldn’t shut up or ask an actual useful question in the entire time that he existed.

mads is really putting his all into this role though, i have to admire that.

thank god for jazmin for the brief time she existed. she’s the only character that (mostly) said what she needed to and nothing more. and is one of the four (4) poc in the entire film.

jazmin and duncan’s fancy glove powered machine gun was Choice.

“time to die”. [Blut chuckles]. [Blut throws a tantrum]. “come back!” His every moment on screen was a waste of my time and the film’s time. how did he even get this company? did he inherit it? He’s obviously not a businessman if he’s somehow $29 million in debt. Who is he in debt to? How the hell is a hitman company in debt??

the audio was unmemorable. apparently deadmaus had music in there?

english secretary was very chill and gave me no reason to hate her.

camille’s twist did surprise me somehow despite the heavy handed foreshadowing. Are they going to go hunting for Duncan’s boss now?

i get that the movie is based on a comic, but tons of other movies have the same origin and aren’t so weak in every possible area. you can have comic based movies that don’t feel so generic.

okay, this has turned into less of a review and more of a running disappointed commentary lmao. im done