#i mean...i was looking forward to it...and it was so underwhelming

[heavenlyraindrops]

☆ “ɪ’ᴍ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ.” | ᴋᴇɴᴊɪ ꜱᴀᴛᴏ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ☆

☆ She said “fuck me like I’m famous”| Chapter one

☆ Warnings: fem!reader, afab!reader, oral (f receiving), fingering, awkward!reader, reader is literally a hermit, no established relationship, not proofread, porn with like a drop of plot, they get slightly awkward after doing it but it’s ok <3 ☆ Word Count: 3.3k | Available on Tumblr & AO3

“Out? For dinner?”

You tore your eyes from your phone to look at Ami, who was watching Chiho roll around on the floor, immersed in whichever new game of pretend she had devised.

“Yes, dinner,” she repeated, then turned to look at you. “I’m meeting a… friend. Not a close one, but a friend nonetheless. And it would do you some good to meet new people, and to get out more.” She raked her eyes over you, from your baggy clothes to messy updo. 

“What’s that meant to mean? I get out plenty often. I’m out right now with you, aren’t I?”

“‘Chilling out’ at my house twice every week isn’t exactly going out, [name],” she sighed, rolling her eyes as she stood up, stepping towards the kitchen. “You’re like a hermit.”

You furrowed your brows together. “Maybe that’s how I like it.”

You heard water trickling as it filled up her glass, and her voice drift down towards where you were sitting. “I tend to wonder if I’m your only friend.”

At those words you stiffened, eyes opening wide and shooting up, back straight. “What? Friends?” You spluttered. “I have friends. I have plenty of friends. You’re not my only friend.” The words tumbled out of you hastily, and then you paused, flashing her a charming smile, trying to distract her. “You’re just my favourite one!”

She rolled her eyes as she sat back down. “Well, you have awful taste.” She handed you a drinks can. Your favourite.

“Hardly,” you uttered

“Just- you focus on work too much, okay? You need to find balance.” She took your palm, uncurling your fingers and placing the cold can in your hand. “Just come to this dinner.”

“…Fine.” You dug your finger under the tab, trying to get it open. “Who even is this friend, anyways?”

“Kenji Sato.”

You stared at her.

She must have mistaken your silence and blank stare for shock, or stupor instead of a reaction to what you considered to be an underwhelming statement, because she just sat back, letting her words sink in. They did, not that they meant much to you.

“Who?” You said blankly.

She blinked, then leaned forward. “Uh, Ken Sato? The really famous baseball player?”

You took a slow sip of the drink- the carbonation danced on your tongue. “No idea who that is. I don’t follow baseball.”

“You don’t follow anything,” she pointed out. “You’re completely out of the loop.”

You threw your hands in the air, exasperated. “Just- look, is he someone I should be impressed with? Like, am I-“

“I’ve mentioned him once,” Ami cut in. “Played in the States, moved to Japan suddenly? I was wondering why, and mentioned it to you?” She narrowed her eyes. “Unless you weren’t listening.”

“No no, I was,” you said quickly, then frowned, furrowing your brow. “Wait, didn’t you interrogate him, once? Twice?”

“Thrice,” she corrected you. “And it's called an interview, not an interrogation.”

“Same thing,” you said indignantly, with another gulp of ice cold carbonated sugar. “And you’re sure he’s just a friend.” You eyed her, testing her for any telltale signs on her face suggesting otherwise.

She simply stared at you, unimpressed. “Yes.”

“Okay,” you said, stretching out the vowel, rolling it along your tongue. You stopped. “Okay, fine, I’ll come to your dinner thing.”

“Yes!” She said, sounding a bit too relieved. You stared at her. “Sorry, it’s just- I’m so glad you’re finally-“ she cut off with an excited, pleased noise. 

You looked at her, concern for yourself creeping into your expression. “Am I really that-“

“Yes,” she said without hesitation. “Now, please put some effort into your appearance tomorrow night-“

“Tomorrow night?”

“Yes, do you have plans?” She didn’t wait for an answer, because she already knew it. “No? Thought so. Please put some effort into your appearance tomorrow night, because it’ll be worth it.”

“Uh huh,” you said slowly.

“I wonder if you even remember how to behave in a social setting,” she mused, and you smacked her shoulder. 

That night when you got home and flopped down on your bed, pulling out your phone, your finger hovered over the search bar.

What was his name?

Kenji Sato.

You were typing in the words before you even realized it, and seeing the images, you froze.

Oh. 

Shoving down any sort of deranged thoughts that could have been formulating in your head, you buried your face into your pillow and tried to fall asleep.

-

“[name]!”

“Ami!” You stuttered. Ami came towards you, eyes lighting up as she took in your appearance.

“You look really different,” she said, taking in your appearance. “Really pretty.”

You didn’t often wear clothes that were form-fitting or flattered your figure, but you’d decided that since it was a dinner with basically a celebrity, you might as well have put in some extra effort into your looks. 

“Thanks,” you said, as she led you through the restaurant doors and to your table. Pausing, she turned to look at you. 

“You look sick,” she frowned. “And nervous.” She clicked her tongue. “Maybe this really was a bad idea. I should have know you can’t handle-“

“No!” You almost burst out. “No, I mean, I can do this. It’s not that big a deal. I’m just meeting a new person, right?” 

She nodded hesitantly, still frowning at you.

“Right. So, not a big de-“

“Hey, Ami.”

You froze, shoulders stiffening.

“Kenji.” Ami turned to him. You still hadn’t looked at him yet, eyes fixed desperately on Ami’s face. “This is [name]. Name, this is-“

“Ken Sato.” He held out his hand to you, to shake. You stared at his long fingers, then slowly looked up to his face. He was wearing this easy, charming grin. Your knees almost buckled. “I’m sure you’ve heard of me.”

You grabbed his hand and shook it. “N-nice to meet you.” You both held your stare a few seconds longer than you needed to. 

He raised a dark brow, and you could have sworn his expression had flickered with amusement before he turned back to Ami. “And here I was worried I was late.” He waved you both on towards the table, where you took your seats.

Ami was looking at you, frowning. You gave her a wobbly smile back. 

Oh, fuck this.

-

“So, what did you say you work as, [name]?” 

Kenji’s voice snapped you out of your haze, and you looked up at him, eyes widening. “Oh, I’m an, uh, I’m an author.” You stared hard at your food, then looked back up at him to gauge his reaction. 

He just leaned back against his chair. “Cool.” His eyes were set on yours. You flushed. “What sort of stuff do you write?”

“Uh,” your eyes slid to Ami, who was looking at you expectantly. “Romance, mostly.” The confession made your cheeks burn but you were too much of a mess to lie smoothly, not that it had even occurred to you in the first place- and Ami would have teased you about it later.

But Kenji just formed a small ‘o’ with his mouth, then smirked. “That’s cute.”

“Is it?” You had to fight to not make your voice sound like a squeak. He just nodded, taking a bite of his food like it was nothing. 

He’d said it so casually that Ami hadn’t even noticed, instead pouring herself more of her drink and commenting on how Kenji had healed up. You blinked, confused, and turned as he held his arm out, flexing it.

“Yeah, quicker than I thought,” he said. You could see the faint outline of his muscles through the fabric and were so prepared to just jump out the window, then and there. He must have caught you staring because, without turning his head, he locked eyes with you and fucking winked.

You bit your lip, rubbing your thighs together and trying to ignore every instinct in your body screaming at you to throw yourself across the table. “You got hurt?”

He dropped his arm back to his side, rolling his shoulder. “Yeah. It’s fine now though.”

You didn’t press any farther, just eating your food in flushed silence, trying to ignore the burning you could feel in between your thighs. 

-

“How’d you get here, [name]?” Ami asked. You stared desperately at your phone screen.

“Cab,” you muttered, rubbing your hand on the back of your neck. The app was empty. “But there aren’t any available.”

You checked the time. Half past eleven. You shivered, the night air biting at your skin. Ami looked at you, concerned. “Should I drop you?”

“No. No.” Guilt ate away at your gut. “No, you need to get home to Chiho, and I’m in the completely opposite direction- it’s not worth it.” You stepped back, and you could feel Kenji look over your shoulder at your screen. He leaned down to your level, breath warm on your ear. You shivered again, but not from the cold. “I’ll just wait until something shows up.”

“What’s your address?” He tilted his face slightly towards you, before pulling away. You stared at him, then frowned at him slightly, opening your mouth to reply, but Ami cut in.

“Look, I-“ she glanced at her watch. “I really need to go.” She pursed her lips. “I’m sorry, [name].”

You waved her off. “Don’t be.”

And she was gone, her car rolling off. You looked back at Kenji, and quickly tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, mumbling your address.

He tapped something into his phone, and his face twisted into a satisfactory grin. “It’s on the way to mine. So I’ll just drop you.” He started walking down the street.

You stumbled after him. “Oh- are you- are you sure?”

He turned, walking backwards, in the same direction but facing you know as he shrugged, grinning. “Why not? Better than waiting around in the cold for a ride.”

“R-right.” 

He led you to where a motorbike was parked, and you blinked. “You rode here on a motorcycle?”

He shrugged his blue biker’s jacket off, and without warning, draped it over your shoulders. “Yeah. Surprised?”

“I… don’t know.” Your face was burning at the action. “Are you sure…” you fiddled with the hem of his jacket.

He waved his hand at it dismissively. “Take it. You look cold.”

You fell silent. Then: “I don’t have a helmet.”

He reached into a compartment, pulling one out. “Spare. For situations like this, I guess. Comes in handy.”

“Situations like this?” You echoed, as he stepped towards you, setting the helmet down over your head and fastening it tight. Your heart was going a million miles a minute.

“When I have to make sure a pretty girl like you gets home, obviously,” he said casually, but the look on his face betrayed his nonchalant tone. He clambered onto the bike. “Come on, then. Get on.”

You blinked, face burning even harder than before, but did as he told you to. 

-

“Thanks. For taking me home, I mean.” 

He looked up at you as you pulled the helmet off your head, imitating the action himself. A strand of hair fell in front of his forehead. “Don’t think about it,” he shrugged, and your grip on the helmet tightened as you clutched it to your chest. 

“Oh, but I will.” You dropped your voice to a husky whisper, and watched his jaw clench. Oh thank you god, I remember how to flirt. Kind of. 

Now it was his turn to become flustered, as he gave you another grin, shaky this time. “Really?” He asked, voice hoarse. You stepped back, towards your house.

“You should come inside,” you suggested. “It’s not that late.”

He raised his eyebrow. “It’s almost midnight,” he laughed, but didn’t object to your offering, licking his lips nervously. You paused your walk up towards your front door, turning and looking at him expectantly. 

“Oh, fuck this,” he muttered, abandoning the bike and walking towards you. Your stomach exploded into a flurry of butterflies as you both hurried towards your front door. 

-

You bit back a whimper as his lips crashed onto yours, kissing you with a hunger you hadn’t been met with before. The door hadn’t even shut before his hands were on your waist, dragging you close to him- and then it was, and he pinned you against it, your back pressing into the ridges of the wood. 

He pulled away, both of your breathing ragged as he pressed his forehead against yours, eye contact unwavering. He cursed under his breath. “Sorry- I should have- I should have asked.”

You were barely able to move your mouth, shaking your head lightly. “It’s fine,” you breathed, and his eyes flicked back down to your lips, grip on your waist tightening. “You didn’t have to.”

“God, you’re-“ he choked on his own words. “You’re pretty.” 

You didn’t have time to respond before his mouth was capturing yours again, heat burning all over as one of his hands wandered to grip your nape, holding you steady. His teeth grazed your lip and you gasped, but he pulled away, pressing kisses all the way down your jaw and collarbone, leaving a trail of blooming bruises in his wake. His other hand fell from your waist to hip, pressing you close up against him, and heat pooled in your core. 

“Ken,” you managed to whisper weakly through the dizzying haze clouding your mind. He paused, teeth pressed against your skin, and he leaned back up to you, ghosting his lips over the shell of your ear, humming. “Are you sure this is a g-good idea?” Your voice was shaking. He frowned, pulling away, and his fingers dug into your hips. 

“Why wouldn’t it be?” His voice was husky with desire, eyes trained on your every movement. You could feel his breath on your skin. You opened your mouth, searching for a reason, but couldn’t find any. He trailed his fingers down your neck, brushing over the marks, to the collar of your top, tugging at it. “Come on.”

You stumbled after him, shedding the jacket, ignoring it as it fell to the floor, and he pulled you down onto the couch with him, hands on your waist. You fell into his lap, straddling him. He grinned. “Still can’t find a reason?”

“…No.”

“Then just relax,” he told you, lips still pressed against your jaw, fingers creeping beneath the hem of your top. “Because I’m about to make you feel really good.”

At his words you bit back a moan, sucking in a harsh breath as you bit your lip, involuntarily rolling your hips against him. He hissed, tipping his head back. You were certain his hands were going to leave marks everywhere they touched, feeling them dig into your hips as you dove onto his neck, suckling and biting, anything to repay the affection he’d shown you earlier.

His hand fisted your hair, gently but firmly tugging you back and away. “Stop it,” he hissed. “Just let me do my thing, okay?”

You looked at him, confused, and slightly hurt, until he quickly pressed a reassuring kiss to your lips. “I said I’d make you feel good, so just sit back and let me, got it?”

You didn’t argue with him, not when he flipped you around so that your back was pressed against the couch, or when he sank to his knees, pushing your legs open, letting out a shaky breath as your skirt hiked right up your thighs. 

He let out a breathless laugh. “You’re wet,” he teased, his hot breath hitting your skin. He pressed a chaste kiss to your inner thigh, making you shiver, then another, each one lasting longer before the one before, leaving marks littering all over your inner thighs. You bit your lip- the mere sight of his face in between your legs was enough to get you dripping, even more than you were before, and he seemed to notice, because he let out an amused chuckle.

“Wh-what?” Your voice was broken, and hitched when he pressed his thumb to your clothed clit, sending a jolt of pleasure into your cunt. He smirked at your reaction. 

“Nothing,” he murmured, hooking his fingers around the waistband of your soaked panties, tugging them slowly down your legs. Your teeth pressed down on your bottom lip harder. His eyes flicked up to meet your expression. “What? Nervous?” 

You didn’t reply, just shaking, and he let out a slow breath, pressing his lips back against your inner thigh as his expression softened. “Don’t be, baby.” His lips curled back into his signature grin. “I told you you could relax, remember?”

You flushed, and nodded.

Without warning, he dove in, lips pressing down on your clit. You whimpered, not even enough time to react before his tongue licked a long strip up your entrance, making you twitch and spasm, throbbing pleasure aching. Your legs instinctively pulled together but he forced them back apart, tongue tracing slow patterns across your bundle of nerves, eyes hooded with lust as he watched your flinch and gasp. 

You let out a broken whimper of his name, and felt him tense under you- but he didn’t stop his movements, slipping his tongue in between your folds, stretching you out with his fingers. You bucked your hips, but he grabbed your hip with his other hand, pinning you down to keep you from moving. “Shhh,” he whispered, his low voice sending vibrations into your core. You let out a desperate moan- it took everything in you to not desperately start grinding against his face. He chuckled slightly at your pitiful state, turning his attention back to your dripping cunt, slipping a finger inside. Your back arched, hand flying to your mouth to clamp over it. A finger slipped inside, curling to hit that sweet spot- you almost saw stars.

“Oh fuck,” you gasped, screwing your eyes shut. “I think I’m gonna cum-“

He simply hummed at your words, the vibrations of his voice sending another shockwave through you, lapping at you like he was hungrier than before, fingers pumping in and out at a steady pace. You knew what he was saying.

Go on. Cum. 

And you did, a broken cry of his name slipping past your lips as the orgasm crashed over you, legs shaking as he drew out your high for as long as possible. And when you finally came down he pushed himself up, towards you, capturing your lips in another feverish kiss. 

You could see the shaky movements of his chest as he breathed heavily, feel his boner pressed up against you, his face flushed and burning to the touch. You pulled away. 

“Are you… shoud I…” You reached for his zipper, despite the fact your voice was heavy with fatigue but he just shook his head, laughing breathlessly.

“No, no, I… don’t worry about me.” He cleared his throat, tugging at the collar of his shirt. “I’ll just- where’s the bathroom?”

“Down the corridor, first door on the left,” you mumbled, slumping back. He stood up, adjusting your head on the couch.

“Okay, I’ll- I’ll be right back.”

You heard his footsteps hurry away and the door shut.

You didn’t realize how much time had passed, with you laying on the couch, drifting in and out of consciousness, when you heard his footsteps approach you again. You looked up at him drowsily.

“Hey.” Your voice was barely audible. “You should stay here for the night.”

He opened his mouth, but didn’t object, even when you waved him over to lay next to you. You settled on top of him, laying your head on his chest. His arm looped around your waist. 

“[name],” he muttered. You lifted your head. “Is this just a… one time thing?”

You tilted your head. “Do you want it to be?”

He frowned, then shook his head. “No. No, I don’t.”

You smiled. “Me neither.”

☆ A/N: visit either the first tag or the pinned post to find the other chapters!

[savanir]

The Consequences

The comforting ticking of clocks fills the air, Danny cannot help himself but look at the many gigantic gears working in tandem each time that he pays Clockwork’s tower a visit.

“Alright, I’m here” Danny waves the green post it note around.

“Good,” Clockwork appears and gestures to an open door, “there is something I wish to show you, come”

Danny follows Clockwork into the room that appears to be an infinitely stretching hallway both left and right from him with the two of them in what he must assume must be the middle.

The young ghost takes a moment to process this and comes to the conclusion that this is just typical Infinite Realms ghost bullshit because clearly, logically, this is impossible.

There is a line on the hallway wall.

“Okay, what am I looking at”

“Time”

Danny takes a long deep breath of air before exaggeratingly rolling his eyes and giving Clockwork bombastic side eye, which the guy very rudely ignores.

“can you please be a little less vague Clockwork…”

the older ghost who has shifted into the appearance of a child grins at him, “very well, this line represents here, you could say it’s ‘my’ time.” a line which would sound ominous as hell if it were said by anyone other than the Ancient of Time itself.

“Did you call me here to tell me more about yourself” Danny quickly looks from Clockwork to the very important line and then quickly back to Clockwork  “is this a bonding thing, are we ghost bonding? Do you show this to all your favorite ghosts?”

“Daniel” Clockwork has shifted to his elderly form.

Danny rubs the back of his neck, "It's really cool- in a way. I kinda do feel like there is more to it though.” It’s also a little underwhelming, just a infinitely stretching dark grey stone hallway with a line on the wall, He’d expect Clockworks time to be… well… okay, so he’s got no clue what he was expecting Clockwork’s time to look like but it wasn’t this.

One thing is for sure though, Danny is no longer thinking about touching the Time Line.

“you would be correct,” Clockwork has shifted to his adult form, “let’s get back on track, the reason why I am showing you this is this discoloration over here” Clockwork gestures where to look with his staff.

“the blackish bit?”

“Correct, this is what I like to call missing time” Clockwork huffs, “I used to not mind it, but times have changed” he’s got the young king to be to worry about now.

Danny is somewhat startled while taking a closer look at the small black bit of the time line, “you’re missing time!? … please do not ask me to go find it for you”

Clockwork chuckles, “no there is no need, I know quite well where it is.” then it’s not actually missing is it?

“alright uh… I’ll just ask- What happens when you’re missing time, do you just… black out? orrrr, like, just what’s going on here”

Child Clockwork starts to explain, “During that period the Infinite Realms will move without me.”

Adult Clockwork continues, “from what I have learned of these events in the past it’s safe to say something will soon happen in this section of the realms, something big and dangerous, the tower is protected against these events- by going into a form of stasis.”

Elderly Clockwork finishes, “like I said, in the past this was of no concern of mine, the tower functions as intended, preserving me and time itself as it should, but I worry for you Daniel.”

“I’ve called you here to warn you, mayhap you could find out what this danger is, not to prevent it, but to ensure you yourself will not get hurt.” preventing it is sadly no longer possible. with the dark coloration on the wall the event happening is all but set in stone.

“can’t you look forward to see what it is? or maybe give me a hint or something?”

“sadly not, for me the time is wholly missing, in the sense that it will happen, and so in a way has already happened, which means-” Danny quickly waves his arm around to prevent Clockwork from going into a time tangent and give him a legendary headache, “-which means you will not be able to help me now, or during, or after. I understand.” the boy then sighs, “I’ll look into it I guess”

“Be careful” Clockwork says gravely in his adult form.

Danny nods, and deep in his core he can feel the unspoken please.

—✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*---*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧—

The young halfa really does try to figure out what might happen, what might be wrong, but it is incredibly hard when you have no clues what so ever.

Time passes, life goes on as usual- as it always does.

And then it starts.

Ripples go through the realms, an oppressive pressure building up. minor shades and blob ghosts scatter darting in every direction as long as it’s away from the perceived threat.

Not long after that there is strange crackling and rumbling, artifacts start behaving weirdly, powering up rapidly.

Walker’s prison becomes a fortress that he’s quickly losing control over locking everything and anything down tight.

Both Skulker’s and Undergrowth’s domains life grows rapidly. And although Undergrowth doesn’t mind Skulker certainly does, his jungle is his hunting playground, not the other way around! And that wouldn’t even be that much of a problem if his suit wasn’t completely on the fritz.

Desiree hides herself away deeply in her haunt, frightful of her own powers going absolutely haywire with every wish she grants, usually she enjoys the chaos- but this is rapidly getting out of hand.

Clockwork manages to catch Pariah’s keep going into its own magical automated lockdown before his tower does the same in its own way.

More and more ghosts decide to evacuate away from this corner of the realms, opting to temporarily stay somewhere else and return once whatever this mess is is over.

While all that is going on in the realms outside in the realm of the living Danny still has no clue what’s going on but his powers are freaking out more and more and he’s very glad that there are no ghost attacks because he’s not sure what will happen if he actually has to put some power in his abilities.

For now he’s simply not using them, instead deciding that while this is going on he’s just a regular living human boy with no special gifts, and you know, maybe it’ll all just blow over on its own and settle down.

So far any attempts on Team Phantom’s end to figure out what the hell is going on in the realms has led to nothing. They can obviously detect the surges of power slamming through the zone but they can’t find the origin. 

The best they have got so far is that whatever it is has something to do with leylines. a suggestion brought up by Sam after Tucker mapped out some of the ripples and Sam recognized some of the shapes from her occult witchy books.

This sadly didn’t answer much and honestly only made Danny go, “This better not be some culty bullshit then”

and Tucker hissing, “bro don’t jinx it!”

When it all comes to a head it was just a normal average school day. After hearing them all out Jazz decided that the best course of action was to lock the doors of the portal just in case, and look further into ley lines later that day.

English class had a little outing planned, the whole class went on a short trip out of the city and into the forest for a special assignment.

Mr Lancer told them to find a scenery there that would inspire them, take a picture, and then write three pieces about it of various word counts, this was to teach them about word use and what not. Just regular shit, Danny wasn’t paying that much attention.

while trudging around in the woods, trying to avoid Dash and Kwan and find something to photograph does he feel it. It’s like his entire skeleton freezes over, a thin layer of frost over his entire insides that shatters right after.

Tucker yelps, “Danny what the hell was that!?”

Danny slaps his hands over his mouth, “I think that was my ghost sense? but like insane?”

“what”

Then a small portal opens and a tiny green blur speeds out and crashes right into Danny’s chest.

Danny can’t help but catch whatever it is and he quickly identifies it as Cujo when he can take a proper look.

The poor thing is shivering and whining and abrasions on his paws quickly clue the gang in that the little dog is hurt.

“Jezus, what happened to him?” asks Sam looking worried for the little guy.

Cujo whines and burrows down Danny’s jacket and into Danny's shirt, by now the A listers as well as Valerie have noticed something weird is going on. 

once Valerie recognizes the puppy butt going down Danny’s shirt does she shout, “that vile beast! Let me at them! Don’t worry Danny I have something that will deal with that thing real fast, just stand still!”

Sam immediately jumps in front of Danny to shield him and Cujo.

“Uhm, that’s a puppy,” says Paulina derisively while Star next to her starts to coo as Cujo’s small head pops up from Danny’s neckline, snuggled in fully and clearly content to be and stay right where he is.

"Sooooo cute!” Star just wants to snuggle it, if only all ghosts were adorable little animals, then the whole ghost thing all the time wouldn’t be nearly so annoying.

“That thing is evil,” Valerie fumes.

“It’s a fucking puppy, Gray. What the hell is your damage” Paulina and Valerie viciously verbally tear into each other and Sam hates to admit it but she’s really glad for Paulina’s redirection of Val’s ire.

because she’s right, Cujo is just a puppy.

Mr. Lancer shows up noticing the commotion and increasing volume of Valerie and Paulina’s now borderline screaming match to put an end to all that.

And it’s right then, right when everyone is fully distracted that a flash happens in the distance quickly followed by a tremor through that they can feel in the ground.

Then the sound reaches them, a loud boom and right after dark clouds quickly rise up in the distance where the flash originated.

All of it happens incredibly fast but right after Mr. Lancer wastes no time to round them all up and head back to the meeting point

“Holy shit that came from Amity”

“Did the town blow up?!”

“I’m texting my parents”

"Hi? mom? Are you okay? yeah? what the fuck happened!?”

dread pools in Danny’s stomach, it grows heavier as he gets no response, it does not lift even slightly through Mr. Lancer’s general reassurances to the whole class, holding Cujo tightly to his chest helps a little, but the frantic feeling keeps surging through his body as the whole class gets into the bus to head back home.

Back in Amity it’s just chaos, police sirens, fire fighters, people out on the street, for once there are no ghost warnings blaring and it’s all the stranger for it, all the more worrying.

This isn’t a ghost attack, this is a normal explosion, and it’s so much worse because of it.

Everyone is used to ghost attacks, they aren’t used to normal explosions.

Once back in Amity things get a bit blurry for Danny, he vaguely remembers school, there was a lot of rushing of people, he vividly remembers constantly trying to contact his parents and Jazz and being incredibly worried and frustrated that they aren’t responding to anything.

He very clearly remembers that Mr. Lancer was there through all of it, when everyone else got picked up, Danny remembers both Sam and Tucker not wanting to leave him and go with their parents, but he’d… well there wasn’t really…

things stopped making sense when the police showed up specifically for him. 

After that it was all just one big dark smear.

—✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*---*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧—

The street is pulverized, his house and those adjacent to it are reduced to rubble.

The other buildings are badly damaged enough that the people have to be relocated until repairs are completed and they are confirmed to be safe, for the ones closest to the explosion there is a high likelihood that the structural integrity is compromised. 

They might need to be torn down as well if that’s the case.

All the windows are smashed in a very wide radius around the initial point of the explosion, overall the scene looks like… like something out of a war documentary.

Danny doesn’t get to see much of that though, he’s put in a meeting room, or office, with some things to snack on and water to drink, both untouched, and Cujo in his lap.

The basement exploded, well, the lab or even more specifically, the portal exploded. But the local authorities don’t know about all that stuff so for them right now it’s just the basement.

And seeing as there is honestly nothing left, it's very possible that they are never going to realize there was a gateway to the realm of the dead under that house in the first place.

His mom and dad are… gone, as well as Jazz, she was most likely upstairs- studying.

Danny swallows and holds Cujo closer, nobody has bothered him about the ghost dog, everyone is just treating the little guy like a regular dog, Danny would appreciate it if he wasn’t completely numb.

He’s trying very hard to just keep it all together and not start spiraling cause this is all very painfully familiar, explosion, death, they are contacting Vlad, it’s taking really long.

But from this point forward he’s going to have to do everything in his power to not slip, this is it. He can’t afford- Cause Clockwork isn’t availa- is that it? 

Is all this caused by the mess in the realms!?

Now Danny has to fight the thoughts that he should have done more, taken it more seriously, researched harder, he’d gotten an on time proper and clear warning for fucks sake! Why didn’t he- Why didn’t he-!?

But he did didn’t he? There was basically nothing to go off of, he tried really hard with the tools that he had and he had been making progress, it just wasn’t enough, he didn’t- couldn’t figure it out on time, and-

Why is it taking so damn long to contact Vlad and get this nightmare fully going he wants out of this room it’s getting suffocating!

The door opens, the nice sounding lady regretfully informs him that there seems to be more bad news, she brings it very gently and carefully, most likely trying to not re traumatize him again.

But it comes down to this, Vlad’s estate has blown up as well and nobody knows where he is, they haven’t found, ahem, him yet.

Danny swallows, that’s not how this is supposed to go.

“You think Vlad is dead?” he stammers out.

“We-” she starts clearly thinking very hard about how to word this, “Right now he’s considered missing, I’m afraid that any attempts to reach him hasn’t been answered but search and rescue-”

Danny blinks, he knows Vlad’s phone just has reception in the zone, and something as a portal explosion wouldn’t take him out, the guy should be chomping at the bit to come and get him. So he’s… incapacitated.

“-however, in the meantime the Foley’s have generously accepted to temporarily take you in, I have heard you are good friends with their son Tucker so-”

Danny perks up a little, and Cujo sleepily snuffles before settling in again, “that sounds good, as much as anything can sound good right about now”

The lady tries to hide her wince and gives him a pitying smile instead, both suck.

The next thing Danny knows he’s wrapped up in a tight hug by his best friend.

“You’ll get through this man, we’re here for you, Sam is in spirit here with us right now, if you’re very quiet you can hear her furious yelling at her parents to let her go so she can hug you too”

Danny gives him a watery laugh, “thanks, I just- fuck”

“yeah… yeah”

it’s bad, but it’s not like that time with Nasty Burger, he’s still got Sam and Tucker, Mr. Lancer too, who is certainly not stopping checking in with Danny either.

And Vlad is missing.

—✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*---*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧—

The zone is a mess, it’s also devoid of life, more than usual, devoid of unlife might be a better way to put it? 

Suddenly tracing the point where this mess came from is a lot easier, Sam came with the idea that the one or ones or thing or whatever that started all this probably did something to hide what they were doing.

They go past Clockworks tower, still encased in a perfect time still bubble, seeing none of the outer gears move even an inch is rather unnerving.

eventually they reach a gigantic neon green flaming crack in reality, or at least that’s what it looks like. 

with Cujo’s aid they move back into the living world somewhat to the right of the reality tear.

It turns out that on the living side of things the tear is a big erupting neon green magma spewing volcano.

By Danny’s estimates the green is ecto adjacent but feels horrible wrong.

“so this volcano was connected to the realms somehow and when it erupted…” Sam shivers, “so natural disaster?”

Tucker looks from his PDA trying to make sense of the ecto energy readings and the still spewing volcano, “there is no seismic activity here, that volcano was dead, something triggered it”

“or someone” hisses Danny, “I’ll have a closer look around as Phantom, do not hesitate to contact me if you see someone or something” 

Sam and Tucker both agree and Danny transforms and heads into the volcano.

the place is… weird, there are ruins, and some ritualistic areas, there is a huge mostly destroyed pool where new debris occasionally still falls into, causing a new explosion, Danny takes a few samples of the stuff in the pool to investigate later, cause even though it’s the same toxic green it’s clearly different from the stuff the volcano is spewing into the air.

Then he makes a quick sweep through the underground caverns and stumbles upon a sight he was not expecting.

Unconscious Vlad. Though upon closer inspection it’s revealed to Danny he’s very cold and stiff, so properly dead Vlad. 

The idea is… ridiculous.

So is that it then? Vlad found some neat new place to fuck around with shit he shouldn’t and he found out in the most explosive way possible, and now there is some manner of ecto volcano or whatever, though probably not cause it just doesn’t feel like ecto… But anyway it all exploded in Vlad’s face and he died and caused another Pariah Dark level event through the Realms and somehow managed to also kill Danny’s parents and Jazz while he was at it.

Danny lifts Vlad’s corpse up and takes him with him to Sam and Tucker. Whatever happened down there happened, but Vlad’s corpse doesn’t deserve to just be left there to rot, just like Danny’s parents and Jazz, he didn’t deserve to die (fully).

Sam and Tucker startle violently when he carefully lays his body down nearby.

“Ancients! is he-” Sam takes a hesitating step forward

“I don’t sense anything from him anymore, like, there is supposed to be something there and there just isn’t so…”

“fucking hell” Tucker wipes a head over his face, “can we- I would really like to go home now, I think I’ve gotten enough of this place”

The trio agrees and after some back and forth they have decided that Danny will put Vlad’s corpse in a not yet combed through section of his estate. Search and rescue will find his body, and then… uhhh…

“I worry about everything after that when we get there, alright?” Danny says, and that’s that.

It feels… wrong, but none of them can come up with a better plan so…

It’s not long the next day that the same nice lady contacts Danny about Vlad.

Danny was expecting that. 

What he wasn’t expecting was that eventually in that conversation a whole new bomb got dropped on him.

Because apparently Vlad has registered him as his heir, as in like heir to Dalv.co

And heir to a lot of money.

Time passes, the world is in magical chaos, the Justice League is solving it. Danny isn’t involved in any of it. 

He just had a funeral and is now looking at the graves of his parents and his sister, and a little bit over there is Vlad.

Cujo is still with him, the little guy seems to have decided that he’s just not going anywhere without Danny so he has a dog now, he’s always wanted a dog.

There is a man a respectful distance behind him, apparently that’s Vlad’s butler, his butler now, since when did Vlad have a butler? Danny cannot remember there being a butler the last time he was forced to go to Vlad’s creepy mansion.

It’s starting to rain.

“Master Daniel,” oh no, he’s going to have to put an end to that right away.

Danny turns and takes a step to the guy, “please call me Danny”

“time stop”

Danny startles as everything around him stops moving, rain drops freezing in place.

The butler in front of him now looks a lot like Clockwork.

“First I want to give you my condolences, I am very sorry for your loss Danny” Clockwork looks well and truly remorseful, he’s genuine. There is a tiny part of Danny that instantly wants to rage and scream at him about the unfairness of it all. But Clockwork cannot do anything, not this time.

“And secondly,” he changes back into the very regular human butler appearance, “I’ll be around to aid you along this new path”

Danny blinks.

oh, well, okay then.

Clockwork introduces himself as Conrad W. Kronus and makes it very clear that to everyone that matters he’s always existed. 

There will be no need to worry about any paperwork or whatever, from here on out Danny will get to stay at the other estate Vlad got in Amity so he could do his Major work more easily and he’ll get to live there with his butler and his dog.

That way he can finish school in Amity Park comfortably.

There is of course still the matter of Dalv.co to worry about but Clockwork reassures him that he doesn’t have to think about any of that just yet and to focus on grieving properly instead.

He says all that while driving them home in one of Vlad’s fancy cars, Danny didn’t think the old ghost would know how to drive at all…

It’s when they arrive and Cujo jumps out of his arms to explore his new home while Clockwork goes about his own maybe butlery duties while Danny kind of just stands in the main living room that a sudden realization comes to him.

“oh- this is… I’m like Bruce Wayne now”

[augustinewrites]

tsumiki asks the question on a rare, relaxed saturday afternoon. with both the kid’s baseball games canceled due to some heavy morning rain, the four of you were taking the time to do some much needed relaxation. 

“how did you guys end up together?” 

satoru lifts his head from your lap, where you’d been plucking his brows. “isn’t it obvious? it was due to my roguishly handsome good looks and sharp comedic wit.” 

megumi scoffs from his spot on the armchair. “i doubt that.”

you press your cheek against your boyfriend’s shoulder, laughing. “that’s cute, babe, but do you want to tell them how it really happened? or should i?”

“i’ll tell them,” he volunteers. “because i have been in love with you a lot longer than you might think.”

_____

satoru meets you when he’s seventeen years old. (it’s a stupid age. ‘cause when you’re seventeen, you’re all hormones and ego and think the world revolves around you.) 

so he doesn’t pay you much mind when yaga first introduces you to his little class, because honestly? he’d taken one look at you, fresh out of the countryside with your perfectly pressed uniform, not a hair out of place or a battle scar on your body and was extremely underwhelmed. so he’d brushed you off like lint on his sleeve, because he doubted you’d even survive the year. no point in getting to try and know you. 

that same afternoon, you’d unleashed hell on him with your shikigami and almost broken his nose. 

“i’m sorry,” you’d muttered when you’d forcibly accompanied him to the infirmary. 

“you don’t sound sorry,” he’d huffed. his nose (and his ego) were definitely bruised. 

you rolled your eyes and muttered something that was probably really mean under your breath. he’s about to tell you off when he feels blood start to drip again, cursing and pinching the bridge of his nose as he tilts his head back.

“you’re supposed to tilt your head forward,” you sigh, handing him another folded up piece of paper towel. 

he doesn’t take it, glaring down at you. “why would i do that?”

shoko and geto walk behind you both, highly amused by your bickering. “they’d be good together, don’t you think?”

“if they don’t kill each other first.” the latter chuckles, shoving his hands in his pockets as he eyes you both. 

“if you tilt your head forward, then the blood drips out and not in–”

“why? that’s where the blood is supposed to be.”

“no, it’s not, and if you’d just let me finish what i was saying instead of interrupting me–”

it’s not the last time he interrupts you. it’s not the last time the two of you bicker or the last time he walks with you through the courtyard. days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, and even though you’d almost broken his nose that first day, he quickly realizes that he couldn’t imagine you anywhere but with him. 

_____

it’s late when he sneaks out of your room, sunset streaming through the courtyard as he peeks around the corner, on the lookout for any faculty before he dashes back to the boy’s dorm…

…only to run into geto, who’s standing outside. he feels bad for a second, because they haven’t really talked since…well, everything.

but he just flicks his cigarette, grinning in that all too knowing way of his. “what were you doing in the girl’s wing, creeper?”

“nothing,” he lies, but his cheeks are warm, there are butterflies in his stomach, and he can’t seem to stop smiling.

his best friend looks at him. really looks at him. “oh, man. you’re so obvious.”

“i’m not obvious, you’re obvious,” he retorts.

geto takes another drag before holding it out to him. gojo shakes his head. “you’re one of the smartest, yet dumbest people i know. so i’m going to help you now, because i think without guidance, you are capable of making extremely rash romantic decisions.”

“that’s not true–”

“it’s very true. like that fact that you’re in love with…” geto nods his head towards the girl’s dorm, grinning. 

he tucks his chin under the collar of his jacket when he feels heat crawl up his neck, looking away. “that’s ridiculous. i’m not…it’s not like that. we’re just…hanging out.”

“really?” his friend checks. “because the way that you look at her, i mean…wow. we’ve all seen it. you look at her like you hear tiny forest animals singing whenever she walks into a room.” 

satoru bristles slightly, because he’s not entirely off the mark. 

(but seventeen is a stupid age, and at the time he knew he cared for you deeply, but he didn’t know he loved you yet.)

geto knows though, and just shrugs. “i know you’ll see it someday too.”

_____

“do these shoes go with my outfit?” you ask, looking over your shoulder.

gojo shrugs, hardly even glancing up from his phone. “sure.” 

“you didn’t even look!” 

he exhales a harsh breath, tossing his phone onto your bed as he looks up at you. “why are you trying so hard for some guy you don’t even like? i mean– have you even met him?”

“no,” you sigh, smoothing your hands over your dress. “but me meeting him is really important to my father.” 

he leans back against your headboard, folding his hands behind his head. “why?”

“because a proposal from the kamo clan is a really big deal.” you startle when he sits up so fast that his glasses fall from their perch atop his head. “oh my– what’s wrong?!”

“everything about that sentence. a proposal? as in to be wed?”

“yes, gojo,” you confirm, turning back to adjust your earrings in the mirror. “i was born outside of the zen’in clan, but i have their inherited technique. my dad…all these years he’s worked hard to keep me off their radar so i wouldn’t be stuck there. so i wouldn’t be unhappy like he was. if i accept this proposal and join the kamo clan…all his hard work wouldn’t be for nothing.” 

“the kamo clan,” he repeats, shaking his head. he’s not sure why he’s so annoyed. it’s hard to pinpoint the exact reason. “they’re based in kyoto. you’d– you’d have to leave.”

he doesn’t say anything for a long moment, but all the unsaid things that he’s been too scared to admit to himself (and especially to you) must be written all over his face, because you hesitate before you step out the door, looking back at him hopefully. 

“have fun,” is all he says instead, pretending not to notice when your expression falls. “i’ll probably be out when you get back, but just text so i know you’re alright and haven’t already been whisked off to kyoto.”

_____

“but you never joined the kamo clan,” tsumiki notes, sending you a questioning look. “why did your dad to change his mind?”

“i…actually still don’t know,” you admit, smiling softly. “he’s never told me.” 

“well, whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter now. ‘cause you’re right where you’re supposed to be,” satoru grins. he presses a soft kiss to your lips, but pulls back with a laugh when the kids groan loudly. “on that note, i’m going to start cleaning up.” 

megumi, who’d been silent the entire story, gets up to help, trailing after him into the kitchen.

“it was you,” he says once you and tsumiki are out of earshot.

satoru sets the stack of plates on the counter, glancing over his shoulder at him. “hm?”

“you made some kind of deal with her family, didn’t you? like you did for me.” 

he doesn’t answer right away, moving leftover vegetables into a container. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

besides, that was then and this was now. he’s older and wiser and he knows that he’s loved you since he was seventeen years old.

_____

your father seems taken aback, and not just because satoru gojo was standing in his study, but because of what he was proposing. “excuse me?”

blue eyes land on a photo of you on your father’s desk. you’re cherished here. loved. letting you go must be hard, even if it’s for your own good. “you want to keep her away from the zen’in’s right? if she joins the gojo clan, we’ll make the idea of even coming near her radioactive.” 

“but the only way to do that is–”

“marriage. to me, specifically,” he finishes with an easy shrug, as if he’s merely speaking about the weather. “quick, easy, simple. now you can reject the kamo clan’s proposal.”

your father is a smart man, that much is obvious. he’s kept you out of the zen’in’s grasp for years, even after news of your inherited technique had spread. there’s no way he’d turn down a deal as good as this.

“i have nothing to offer you,” he says now, expression pinched. “no dowry, or things of the like.”

“i don’t need your money,” he dismisses with a wave of his hand. “in fact, i only have three conditions.”

gojo’s three conditions

[jaal-ama-daravv]

dissecting act 3 & emmrichs final romance scene (mortal & lich)

dissecting the graveyard scene dissecting the mortal romance path scene dissecting the mortal emmrich argument scene (all routes) emmrich x rook cinematic (mortal)

lich version dissecting the alternate romance path dissecting the argument scene (lich path) dissecting the emmrich romance scene (lich) mortal vs lich romance path emmrich x rook cinematic

look this is half a thirst trap post im not gonna lie to ya

ACT 3 - OH MY GOD.

Now. We all know that dreaded argument scene that fills us with angst and really gets us in our feelings for the final 4 hours. which was 100% done on purpose, thanks bioware, you succeeded. i did in fact regret that conversation and cried immensely

We have the argument with Emmrich, then we have our mini resolution of Emmrich trying to apologise, and Rook responding with, "We'll talk back home Emmrich, I promise."

Fast forward an hour, and ive just about pulled the plug because emmrich gets trapped by Ghil, someone dies, and then we are sucked into the fade - trapped. FOR WEEKS.

I truly wish bioware included flashbacks, or rook being able to see the lighthouse whilst they were trapped so that we see our LI panic, and fret. Can you imagine Emmrich? The last conversation they had was a fight, and a fight that stemmed from love at that. regardless of the route you took, both rook and emmrich regret that argument deeply. I mean deeply. And most likely regret not saying, i love you in that moment. or any moment. god when emmrich got sucked up by ghil i was locked IN. nothing was stopping me.

Emmrich wouldn't of been able to sleep, he wouldn't of been eating, he would've been working day AND night like a dog on the dagger. he wouldve been irritable, he wouldve been incessant, he wouldn't of been put together, not clean shaven. id bet money on this.

despite bioware not giving us a good reconciliation scene or a glimpse at what happend during those weeks - BOY DID THEY FUCKING EAt with the pulling you out of the fade section. Oh my god. Emmrich's voice being timed right after Varric saying with "You have everything you need", AND THEN PULLING YOU OUT OF THE FADE WITH HIS ARM.

anyway - AFTER T H A T.

You have the romance scene (mortal dissection | lich dissection)

and then my god - i have no words - literally - just look

goodbye ovaries

The Final Goodbye (Mortal/Lich)

Now these are the exact same for both mortal and lich, ill tell you when its different below - to which this is dissapointing as I feel like the final romance scene is so 'meh'? it's very idk, scripted. I feel like there needs to be a dip in emmrichs voice when he says i love you to rook - maybe its just me, but regardless, its meh meh to me. the whole scene is just kinda -

I'll skip to the romance part anyway as there is nothing of substance in the first half

1. I love you, too.

I feel like - underwhelmed with this response. its just slapped on like a bumpersticker

2. I'm glad we met.

I cannot believe that this line of dialogue is hidden beneath the most basic of thought processes - i love it

its emotonal - its hopeful

YESSSS - PLAN WITH ME!!!! This is digustingly impactful if playing the mortal path. the man has hope for the future. oh I need not say more for its delivered so wonderfully.

HEHE

3. Be safe. I can't lose you.

I thoroughly enjoy this path, I feel so much emotion from Rook and Emmrich in these lines. the worry, the love. although it is kind of a shock to the system because we still went from. OH MY GOD DEATH, to oh yeah death with Emmrich.

exactly how the argument scene should've went, BUT, I get it, now if only we had a reconciliation scene in the middle or a conversation, i'd have no notes and be out of business

Now here is the divergence, of like two lines, that occurrs directly after the above dialogue

Lich Version

Mortal Version

its sweet, its sensual, its loving. but there no oomf. theres no, fear. the mortal version is my preference here as I like the slight reminder of emmrich being alive. in saying that, considering what we have been enamored with and reminded of at every single quest of his. but in the last romance dialogue its, gone? the fear overcome? one line, one word makes a difference. idk man. like I have my full speculation that there is a sequel with rook and companins again, and if there is ill let this go. but if this is it, WITH no epilogue screen? please, as much as i like fanfiction and headcanons and art. id like it IN the game.

a fantastic romance, but a stale last conversation. IN SAYING THAT. I choose to look past it as much as possible as it is sweet and I just love him.

ANYWAY, love you all, im pen for questions and the full emmrich dissection with all my very detailed explantions is coming in a few days

♥

[weirdmarioenemies]

MARIO KART 9 RETRO PREDICTIONS!

That's right! Ever since like, a month ago, we've received official confirmation that we're getting a new Mario Kart game that isn't Mario Kart Tour! Rejoice!

Yes, it's an exciting time to be a Mario Kart fan. After all, a new game means new courses, new drivers, new items, new gameplay mechanics, and all that jazz! I mean, 24-player races in the fantastical world of Utah? That's some exciting stuff!

But almost just as exciting as the new courses are the new old courses, especially when considering how much Mario Kart 8 spruced them up! Also, it's just way easier to to predict returning courses than new courses. Look: I don't have a time machine shaped like a crystal ball. I could say "Oh yeah, Mario Kart 9 will definitely have a new course called Toad's Wastewater Treatment Plant," but I'd just be making that up. I don't have a source! I can't show you the bibliography! I'm sorry.

Not that I can completely accurately predict retro courses either. Look, I can be as methodical as I please, but I don't work at Nintemdo. We know next to nothing about this game, so all my predictions are really just shots in the dark here! But it's fun to load a gun and haphazardly shoot bullets in a cave! Who knows! Maybe we'll end up shooting some of the retro courses that will be in Mario Kart 9!

My dearest condolences to Toad's Factory.

Retro predictions begin under the cut!

Oh wow, you thought we were gonna get straight into the retro predicting? How does it feel to be The Fool right now, The Fool?

Really though, I just want to get all methodologologilical[sic] first. Just get out some of the key assumptions I'm making so you can better understand why I've made the choices I've made. Alright? Cool. Cool.

I'm assuming there will be 48 courses in the base game, and by extension, 24 retro courses split across six cups. Given the goal of this game is to move people to the Nintendo Switch 2, and every Nintendo Switch 1 owner and their mother and their mother's dog owns a copy of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, going from 96 courses to a mere 32 courses feels like a considerable downgrade. Given that Mario Kart 8 Deluxe has 48 courses without the DLC, this feels like a good baseline going forwards.

I'm not sure what to make of the mainline status of Mario Kart Tour. I'm leaning towards it being technically mainline, due to its content being ported to Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, but it's definitely not a traditional Mario Kart game. So I will be including courses from it in my predictions, but courses that have only returned in Tour are basically on the same level of priority as courses that have never returned at all to me. Speaking of which...

I plan on prioritizing courses that have never returned, but I'm not going to exclusively limit myself to courses that have never returned. We're reaching a point where some games are really slim pickings for retro course options if we're only considering ones that have never returned, and given Nintendo has shown they're comfortable with double-dipping in places like Mario Kart 8's DLC and Mario Kart Tour, I think it's safe to say Mario Kart 64 won't be dragged out back and shot after they bring back Wario Stadium.

HOWEVER, I will NOT include any courses that have returned in Mario Kart 8!* This does include the Booster Course Pass for reference, so I apologize to any courses that were given underwhelming remakes there. Someday you'll get the remake you deserve, Sky Garden. Courses that originated in Mario Kart 8 are still fair game, but given that again, the goal is to move people to the new console, you probably don't want too many courses they can already play on the game they most certainly already have. Don't worry about the asterisk yet. We'll get there when we get there.

And as for more general goals, I'm looking for solid aesthetic diversity, a respectable difficulty curve, and a decent balance between games. None of these are really hard rules, since everybody will define them differently, and the exact amount they matter is hard to judge. I mean, I would like to keep the games relatively balanced, but it makes sense why the Booster Course Pass has eight Wii courses and two SNES courses. This is because Wii courses tend to be "pretty damn fun", as opposed to SNES courses which tend to be "utter dogwater".

Fun factor is also an important thing to keep in mind here. Why waste precious development time on bringing back courses nobody wants? I'm sorry, but no amount of spit-shine will ever save Figure-8 Circuit.

Okay, I think that's about everything. Now we can get into the part of the post you probably actually care about: predicting the retro courses!

SHELL CUP

Wii Luigi Circuit

Ah, the classic "boring starting course". Boring starter courses are interesting, because they brought back like 50 of these in Mario Kart DS, but ever since Nintendo has kinda been avoiding these like the plague. Unfortunately, now we've kinda reached a point where for games with slim pickings, "boring starter courses" are some of the only courses they have left. I feel like we're gonna have to bite the bullet at some point and bring one of these back, so it may as well be Wii Luigi Circuit.

Also motivating this pick is the return of the Luigi Tires sponsor, which was featured on this track back in Mario Kart Wii! Obviously this is a pretty minor connection, but I kinda get the feeling the reason they'd bring a sponsor like this back is if they're also bringing back a course that featured it. Ultimately this is what gave it the edge to me over Figure-8 Circuit. Well that, and the fact that there's no reason to spend development time on Figure-8 Circuit over literally any course that isn't Figure-8 Circuit.

3DS Daisy Hills

Daisy Hills! I don't really have a ton to say on this one. Its "alpine village where a young witch would look for a lost cat" setting is fairly unique by the standards of early-game courses, and given the list of courses that have never returned consist largely of mid-to-late game courses and "boring circuit tracks", having a course like this feels like a good pick.

SNES Koopa Beach 1

I would like to take a moment to curse Super Mario Kart for not having interesting course themes. It becomes a pain to pick specific courses from a game where literally every course theme has better alternatives from other games. Because when I'm prioritizing aesthetic diversity, picking a boring Super Mario Kart track is kind of by extension shutting out the better options from other games, right?

So figuring out what courses from this game to pick was basically a game of figuring out which theme had the most acceptable losses, and I concluded it was probably the beach courses. Apologies to Cheep Cheep Lagoon and Cheep-Cheep Island, but neither of you is interesting enough to warrant not picking an SNES course over you. And actual sincere apologies to Dolphin Shoals!

MK8 Sweet Sweet Canyon

Rounding out our Shell Cup, we have our first returning course from Mario Kart 8! Given Mario Kart 8 is ripe for the picking, it's likely we'll see a solid handful of courses from it, and since Nintendo tends to avoid putting multiple courses from the same game in a single cup, my choices are gonna have to be spread out across the difficulty curve.

Sweet Sweet Canyon isn't really one of my favorite of Mario Kart 8's original courses, but as an early game course with very unique theming, it feels like a pretty safe pick for a Priority Retro course to me. There's not really any thematic competition for "courses made of candy"! My only hope is that if my predictions are accurate and they do bring back this specific course, that they brighten up the color palette a bit. The amount of detail here is gorgeous, but the colors have always felt slightly too drab for the theming to me.

Also yes, I'm using "MK8" as the abbreviation for returning Mario Kart 8 courses and not "Wii U". I know that typically the abbreviation is based on the console and not the name of the game, but given the existence of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, the fact it has battle courses unique to it that should probably be put under the same label, and the fact Nintendo probably wants to acknowledge the Wii U as little as possible, I think using "MK8" as the abbreviation feels like the right call.

BANANA CUP

DS Delfino Square

Given Mario Kart DS's options for courses that have never returned are "starting circuit", "Bowser's Castle", and "Rainbow Road", and all of those are competitive slots, I think it's likely we'll see a bit of double-dipping for this game. That's probably a good thing, because DS has some awesome courses that aren't in Mario Kart 8!

Case in point: Delfino Square, which feels like one of the most-requested courses I saw for the Booster Course Pass that never got added. But maybe we should be grateful, because now it can be saved for a remake with good graphics! I've been a big fan of this course ever since I was a kid, mostly because of the music (which I'd love to hear a live arrangement of!), but the course itself is pretty cool too I guess. Glider ramp on the drawbridge whenever it's up? Would that work?

N64 Frappe Snowland

Mario Kart 64 is another game that's slim pickings in terms of "courses that have never returned at all". Given I'm trying to include at least two courses from every game here, picking another N64 course was kind of a challenge. Most of the picks I would've gone for are in Mario Kart 8 already, because if not for the Booster Course Pass, Choco Mountain and Kalimari Desert would've definitely been in the running. And lots of the other choices that felt decent, like DK's Jungle Parkway or Banshee Boardwalk, have alternatives in other games that felt higher priority.

So I'm going with Frappe Snowland. This course hasn't really been in a traditional Mario Kart game since Mario Kart DS, so I think it feels like a solid candidate to get another remake. I mean, it's a pretty generic snow course as-is, so it might be due to get a modern reimagining. I'm imagining a cozy little winter town near the starting line, maybe having some similar vibes to the winter variant of Animal Crossing.

Do you pronounce it "frap" or "fra-pay"? I'm in the fra-pay camp but I'm pretty sure the other one might technically be correct due to the lack of accent over the e, but I'm also not sure if that's so much a hint of the pronunciation so much as "leaving off the accent for convenience sake". Both are technically valid I'm pretty sure, so I won't fight you if you're in frap camp. I promise.

Wii Toad's Factory

Look. If there's one course I would put actual real money on being in the next game, I think it's Toad's Factory. Yes! Even over the courses from games that literally have only one course that has never returned! Wario Stadium is boring and faces competition from Wario Colosseum, and I'm not sure to what extent Tour counts as mainline as far as Piranha Plant Pipeline is concerned, but Toad's Factory? I can't think of a reason you wouldn't bring this one back.

It's one of the only courses from Mario Kart Wii that has never returned, it's a fan-favorite course, it's an early-game course with unique theming when "courses that have never returned" tend to skew late-game, not to mention that Mario Kart Wii is a favorite game for fans and Nintendo alike. Literally the only reason I can imagine Mario Kart 9 not having Toad's Factory is if Mario Kart 9 doesn't have retro courses at all. That, or if my methodology is way, way off. But like, Nintendo knows what courses fans like! They have to see the demand for Toad's Factory, right?

3DS Shy Guy Bazaar

Look. I'm gonna come forwards and say it: I'm pretty sure this course is what we in the industry would call "orientalist as hell". I'm definitely not the most qualified person to speak on this subject, but given what I have heard from people who are, it's very much giving me the vibes of "mystical, vaguely Arabic desert kingdom" that all of us should frankly be tired of seeing at this point. This isn't really a course I think I want to see brought back.

But this isn't a wishlist. This is Predictions, and unfortunately I do not have the faith in Nintendo to Not Be Orientalist, considering how much this sort of thing has continued into even their most recent output. And like, as far as the things I am prioritizing when I make my list go, I'm pretty sure Shy Guy Bazaar checks all the boxes. It has unique theming, and datamining suggests it was very nearly put in Mario Kart 8. I think this one feels like a shoo-in, even if I don't really want it to be.

FEATHER CUP

That's right! More retro courses means I have to predict new retro cups as well! I think the Feather Cup feels like a good retro cup choice, since its presence as an item in Super Mario Kart and its absence from most later Mario Kart games gives it a distinctly "retro" feel.

Oh, and speaking of Super Mario Kart...

SNES Mario Circuit 4

For a long time, I saw people question why Nintendo would bring back the Mario Circuits so much compared to other SNES courses with more distinct theming. After all, if you're going to have to dedicate a slot or two to SNES courses, you might want to pick the less boring themes, right...? But while this sounds like a logical train of thought, I think I have since seen the light of day. The reason they bring back the Mario Circuits is because they can get away with being boring.

Because the Mario Circuits can pass off their "being boring" as being like, a retro thing, right? Like, you can try to make an interesting rendition of Donut Plains or whatever, but ultimately you're just putting lipstick on a pig. Donut Plains 3 is always gonna be one of the most boring courses in Mario Kart 8, even with a gorgeous graphical overhaul! The Mario Circuits, by virtue of being thematically boring, don't have to pretend they are anything more than what they are: boring SNES courses.

...I'd still like them to do something interesting with Mario Circuit 4 though. I mean, GBA Mario Circuit got an anti-gravity U-turn. It's worth a shot.

MK8 Sunshine Airport

Something you need to know about me is that "me making retro course predictions for Mario Kart 9" is NOT a new thing. I've been doing this basically ever since Mario Kart 8 came out over a decade ago, and ever since then I have felt reasonably confident in one thing: I think Sunshine Airport is gonna be one of the first Mario Kart 8 courses they bring back.

Literally everything about Sunshine Airport feels like a "priority retro course" to me, in the same vein as Coconut Mall or Music Park. Unique theming? Check. A level of complexity that gives it flexible positioning on a difficulty curve? Check. Approval from the fans? Check. Hell, even if Nintendo decides not to bring back anti-gravity, this course doesn't need it! All it amounts to here is one singular turn where the anti-gravity feels shoehorned in to begin with!

It feels weird to be so, so confident in a Mario Kart 8 pick when literally every original course from that game is an option, like I can't say I'm confident in Sunshine Airport to the same degree I'm confident in like, Toad's Factory or Wario Stadium or anything like that, but I dunno. Sunshine Airport almost feels like it was made to be a retro course.

Or maybe I've just been so weirdly confident in this specific idea for so long that it's just drilled itself into my head, I dunno.

Tour Piranha Plant Pipeline

Say hello to literally the only Mario Kart Tour course that didn't make its way into the Booster Course Pass! Yes, that's literally my only reasoning for including it. But if Tour courses are in fact in the running, then that's basically the only reason you need. This course wasn't in Mario Kart 8 and the only other place you can play it is a mobile game where it's only in rotation for like, two weeks of the year.

I don't think this is one of Tour's best original courses, it's decidedly mid-tier compared to the likes of Squeaky Clean Sprint, Yoshi's Island, and Ninja Hideaway, but it'd be nice to have it in a more accessible place. In Mario Kart 8 it'd feel redundant with Piranha Plant Slide, but here it probably won't have that issue.

Funniest outcome for this course however, is if they treat it like the other non-city Tour originals in the Booster Course Pass and try to pass it off as a new course for some reason.

GBA Broken Pier

I think it's funny how much Nintendo has fallen in love with Mario Kart: Super Circuit lately. For the longest time, GBA courses were given the short end of the stick with only one or two returning courses per game. However, when they started giving retro courses more dramatic overhauls in Mario Kart 8, they realized that GBA courses, unlike SNES courses, actually have interesting themes that are conducive to cool remakes, and now there are barely any GBA courses they haven't brought back! Which is to say there's two, and one of them is Broken Pier. Hi, Broken Pier!

Look, this is not a fan-favorite GBA course by any stretch of the imagination. I often see this considered one of the worst courses in the game. But how much does that actually really matter? When it comes to creative liberties taken with retro courses, GBA courses tend to get the most dramatic overhauls. As long as you keep the theming in tact and a vague facsimile of the layout, you can basically do whatever you want with these courses when you bring them back.

Given I think the atmosphere of this course is "pretty dang cool", that's all that really matters. Nintendo has free reign to do whatever they want with this course, because who's gonna complain about an unfaithful remake of Broken Pier?

LEAF CUP

MK8 Wild Woods

To be honest, there's a ton of courses from Mario Kart 8 I've considered putting at the start of the Leaf Cup. Shy Guy Falls, Dragon Driftway, and Super Bell Subway also feel like solid choices to me, but I'm going with Wild Woods for the silly reason of "cup-appropriate theming". This isn't something Nintendo does a ton of, but given in the past we've seen Maple Treeway in the Leaf Cup, DK Jungle in the Banana Cup, Rock Rock Mountain in the Rock Cup, and 3DS Rainbow Road in the Moon Cup, it's definitely something that does happen. It's enough to sway my opinion on this subject ever so slightly.

Either way, this is definitely the part where "literally every Mario Kart 8 course is in contention" is coming to bite me.

GBA Lakeside Park

Lakeside Park is another of those courses I really don't have to say much about my inclusion of. There's a bit of competition for a "jungle course spot" from Dino Dino Jungle and DK's Jungle Parkway I think, but given this one has yet to return in a traditional Mario Kart game, it feels like a more likely option to me. I just hope they reintroduce a little bit of the complexity in the layout that was lost in the Mario Kart Tour version of this course. I dunno what's up with Mario Kart Tour and oversimplifying the layouts of GBA courses in particular.

Wii Dry Dry Ruins

So many Mario Kart Wii courses are in Mario Kart 8, that based on my somewhat arbitrary "no repeat retros from Mario Kart 8" rule, narrowing down potential Wii courses is not really a challenge at all. Like, we're probably getting Toad's Factory, we're probably getting Dry Dry Ruins, and then pick one of the other three courses off a wheel and throw that one in, too.

I see a lot of people say they don't care for desert courses, but I'm kind of under the impression that they really just mean Dry Dry Desert and Bone-Dry Dunes. And maybe Yoshi Desert, but I don't know how many people even remember that course exists. But like, every other desert course in the series seems to have a solid reception with fans, right? I've seen lots of people clamoring for Dry Dry Ruins, but that might just be because "Mario Kart Wii fans" are a very vocal crowd, and they just think the shortcuts here are really cool. I can't blame 'em.

3DS Wario Shipyard

Something I've realized from my various attempts at Mario Kart 9 retro predictions from over the years is that lots of the courses that seem like viable options for retro picks are Wario courses. N64 Wario Stadium is basically a given, but Wario Shipyard is probably one of the most distinctive 3DS tracks, and Wario Colosseum and Mount Wario are both big fan-favorites too. Dang Wario, you need to cut it out with all your "courses that kick ass"! You're stealing valuable real estate from all the other characters!

I don't think Wario can hear me, and even if he does, he probably doesn't care. We know he's a greedy man. He probably feels so smug about "stealing precious real estate". I bet he's gonna get a new course of this caliber too, because that's just the kind of course Wario makes at this point.

MOON CUP

That's right! Second new retro cup! I went with the Moon Cup, and put it between the Leaf and Lightning Cup to act as the new retro parallel to the Star Cup, because that just feels right to me.

MK8 Electrodrome

This is the last of my picks for returning Mario Kart 8 courses, and feels like another relatively safe pick. Not as safe as Sunshine Airport, since it'd be considerably worse-off without anti-gravity, but there's this one butte in the background of the trailer which looks like it could be an anti-gravity section so we're probably fine on that front.

Anyway, all the stuff I've been saying across this post applies here also. Unique theming, well-liked by fans, you know the drill. Really, how much do I have to keep repeating these things? You know what my lines of reasoning are, do I have to keep saying them? Is this interesting to you? Are you interested right now?

Uhhhh this course was given a spotlight in a trailer for the original Mario Kart 8 on the Wii U. So I think Nintendo likes it also. That's a little more in its favor specifically.

GCN Mushroom City

Forget about every other course I've talked about on this post. If I have to single out the course I want to see return the most, it's this one. Frappe Snowland? More like CRAPPE Snowland! Mario Circuit 4? More like Mario Circuit BORE! Mushroom City? More like Mushroom Sh... no wait this is the one i like

Anyway, Mushroom City is cool as hell and it's criminal they've never brought this one back. Definitely probably maybe a top 10 Mario Kart course for me. I dunno. I haven't played Double Dash that much. But I've played it enough to know that I like Mushroom City, okay? I don't know if any other traffic course really sells the feeling of driving through a big city as much as this one, what with all its branching paths.

I really appreciate how they handled the branching paths here. On a course like Yoshi Valley, there's only one route that's actually good, making the whole gimmick feel kinda meaningless, but here everything feels even enough that no path feels unviable, especially with how the traffic patterns can influence your decision-making! And also the music is great and begging for a live band rendition. Make it happen, Nintendo! Mushroom City has spent too much time not returning, and not enough time... returning.

I mean, it feels like a pretty likely inclusion to me. I feel people have reappraised this course as being "really really good" lately (rightfully so!) and it's also one of only four Double Dash courses that have never been brought back. The other three include the coveted Bowser's Castle and Rainbow Road slots, as well as Wario Colosseum, which WOULD feel like a good candidate if not for...

N64 Wario Stadium

Man, I'm glad I put these courses back-to-back in my retro predictions. It wasn't specifically for that segue, but it makes for a damn good segue.

Poor, poor Wario Stadium. Literally the only course from Mario Kart 64 which has never been brought back, which I think kind of makes it an auto-include for these retro predictions, even if we don't want it to be. Something funny is that, having looked Mario Kart course ranking lists for over a decade now, I've seen the public opinion on this course shift dramatically in real time.

Like, ten years ago I saw this course frequently ending up on "Top 10 Mario Kart courses of all time" lists, with people talking about how cool it is that it's like a real dirt bike stadium, and how funny it was when you hit an opponent during the big jump and they had to repeat half the race.

But nowadays it feels like the popular opinion is "there's a good reason this is the only N64 course they've never brought back". Like, now everyone thinks this course is just really long and boring, and the opinion on Big Jump Snipes have shifted from "funny and cruel" to "just making the course even more of a slog to get through." Time has not been kind to N64 Wario Stadium.

But if anything, I think that's why this course needs to be brought back, right? To get the makeover it deserves and get some time being a less terrible course. I'm pretty sure the addition of tricks as a gameplay mechanic alone would improve it significantly, let alone more dramatic changes you could make to the layout. Worst case scenario, you give it the Wario Colosseum treatment and make it a two-lap course. (Or give it the N64 Rainbow Road treatment and make it only one lap, but I don't think that'd work out here.)

I have to clarify: the fact there's a long Wario course set in a stadium that's basically an auto-include is the sole reason I'm not putting Wario Colosseum on my retro predictions. Sorry, guys.

DS Airship Fortress

You wanna know why DS Airship Fortress is on my Mario Kart 9 retro predictions? Because it wasn't in the Booster Course Pass. That's it. Like, this course is a big hit with fans, it was in Mario Kart Tour already, and basically everyone agrees it was a baffling exclusion. So at this point the most logical conclusion I can think of is "it wasn't in Mario Kart 8 because they were saving it for Mario Kart 9".

That's really all I have to say on this one.

LIGHTNING CUP

3DS Maka Wuhu

Did you know? The two Wuhu Island courses are literally the only Mario Kart 7 courses which have never returned! Granted, lots of the others have only returned in Tour, which feels like the world's biggest edge case, but like, it's weird we haven't seen the Wuhu Island courses at all, right? I feel like people like these courses quite a bit. I mean, they brought back Wuhu Town as a battle arena in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, so I don't think they're off the table.

Really, I've kinda been skirting around the crossover courses, because I'm not sure what to make of them. I'm definitely under the impression Mario Kart 9's not gonna be the "Super Smash Kart" or whatever some people have suggested, given the trailer exclusively shows Mario characters driving through an area not based on any Mario game in particular. I don't think Super Smash Kart would include Baby Rosalina on its roster.

But like, I don't wanna dismiss the idea of Mario Kart 9 having crossover content completely, because I could totally imagine it sticking around on a smaller scale, akin to... well, Mario Kart 8! And even putting that all aside, I kind of feel like the Wuhu courses are almost a weird exception to being "crossover courses" since they were in the main game of Mario Kart 7? I dunno. At this point I'm making weird and arbitrary rules for myself for the sake of making weird and arbitrary rules. I don't think I can explain my logic in a way that makes as much sense as it does in my head.

Tour Ninja Hideaway

Hey, so remember way, way earlier in the post when there was an asterisk when I mentioned my rule about no repeat retros from Mario Kart 8? Well here it is! It's Asterisk! You see, I wanted to include at least two courses from every game, but this proved to be an issue for Mario Kart Tour in particular, since all but one of its courses were included in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. So I broke my rules, right? Well, not exactly...

Because Ninja Hideaway didn't return in Mario Kart 8.

See how this course was labelled in Mario Kart 8? It wasn't Tour Ninja Hideaway, just "Ninja Hideaway". Legally speaking, Ninja Hideaway did not return in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, because it was a new course in that game too, for some reason! So none of my rules have been broken. This is, legally, the first time Ninja Hideaway will be a retro course.

Obviously, this sort of logic is incredibly silly, and barely makes any sense at all, but knowing Nintendo, I'm kind of under the impression this is the exact sort of logic they operate under. So I'm sticking by it! I think this would be a cool Lightning Cup pick. I like it for a lot of the same reasons I like Mushroom City (thank you well-balanced branching paths!), and I feel like some of the sharp turns here would make it well-suited for the late game.

DS Bowser('s?) Castle

Did you know? This course is just called "Bowser Castle". Not Bowser's Castle, with the apostrophe s. I don't really know why. I kind of expect them to change it, since they did with all the GBA Bowser's Castles in Mario Kart Tour, but they didn't with SNES Bowser Castle 3, so I really don't know. Either way, you too are now cursed with this information!

Anyway, given my two other picks from Mario Kart DS are both double-dips, I figured I should include one course which hasn't returned yet, and I'm going with this one. Figure-8 Circuit is probably the worst course of all time, and I think there's better candidates for a retro Rainbow Road, but Bowser('s) Castle? I mean, I've seen a fair share of fans who really like this one. I figure it's about time to bring it back.

For some reason, Nintendo hardly ever brings back the endgame Bowser's Castles, but I figure they gotta start chipping away at that list at some point, and having it as the penultimate retro course before a Rainbow Road just feels right. Speaking of which...!

GCN Rainbow Road

This was a pretty big toss-up between GBA Rainbow Road and GCN Rainbow Road for me, but I'm going with this one. I know GBA feels like the logical pick, since we got SNES in Mario Kart 7 and N64 in Mario Kart 8, but now that Mario Kart 8 also has SNES, 3DS, and Wii's Rainbow Roads, I'm not sure how much that order really matters anymore. And besides that... GCN just feels more iconic. It's the road that you go when you die!

Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna discount GBA completely, partially because of The Cycle, partially because it's one of the only GBA courses left, and partially because I think you could do a lot with a cool remake, but at the same time, let's be real with ourselves: if any Mario Kart game is the least iconic one, it's Super Circuit. I love its Rainbow Road a whole lot, but I don't think that's the one you show off in a big trailer to get fans excited for the first big Mario Kart game in over a decade, right?

Also, GCN Mushroom City feels like a very likely retro course, and you can see it in the background of GCN Rainbow Road, so uhhhh yeah. Checkmate, atheists! GCN Rainbow Road is real and there is nothing you can do about it!

Okay, so maybe my logic is a little flimsy, but as I said at the start of the post, I can't predict the future! Ultimately, I don't know why or how Nintendo decides which courses they want to bring back, and all I can really do is try to infer patterns based on what they've done in the past. But you know how it is with apophenia. We're all the time seeing patterns we want to see that aren't really there!

Ultimately, this is a game we know very little about, and it would be foolish of me to pretend that I've boiled any of this down to a science. Really, the reason I'm doing this is because it's fun! It's fun to think about hypothetical returning courses in future Mario Kart games using bogus patterns that don't really exist!

Also a big waste of time. Thanks for indulging in this big waste of time with me, everyone!

(if your favorite course wasn't included on this list, please imagine it as post-launch DLC. thank you.)

[gumims]

hidden behind lines | ch10: unspoken clarity

the air is crisp as you step outside, your hands tucked into the sleeves of your sweater. you walk toward the tree by the training grounds, the same one where you’ve met him before. the sky is a soft gradient of orange and purple, and the leaves on the ground crunch lightly under your slippers. you spot him already there, leaning against the trunk, his scarf pulled up to his nose, his hands fidgeting with something in his pocket.

as you approach, he looks up, his violet eyes meeting yours. his gaze is steady, but there’s a hint of nervousness in the way his fingers tap against the paper he’s holding.

“inumaki,” you call out softly, unsure why your chest feels so tight.

he doesn’t respond verbally, of course, but he nods and takes a step forward, pulling the folded paper from his pocket. without a word, he extends it toward you, his hand slightly trembling.

you take it, unfolding the paper carefully. his handwriting is neat, but the slight unevenness of some letters betrays his nerves.

y/n,

i know this might seem sudden, but i needed to tell you how i feel. writing it down is easier for me than saying it out loud.when i started that account, it wasn’t just about expressing myself—it became a way for me to connect with you. i didn’t plan for it to happen, but the way you responded to my posts made me feel seen, like someone understood me.i like you, y/n. i have for a while now. i didn’t tell you because i was scared—scared you wouldn’t feel the same, scared i’d ruin what we have. but i don’t want to keep it to myself anymore.i want you to know that you’ve made me feel things i didn’t think i could. you’re kind, funny, and so incredibly easy to talk to. even when we’re just sitting in silence, it feels like enough.if you feel the same, i’d like to be the person who can make you happy too. if not, that’s okay. i just needed you to know how i feel.

toge

your heart feels like it might burst as you read the words, each one hitting you with a mix of emotions—surprise, warmth, and something you can’t quite name yet.

you fold the paper carefully, holding it close to your chest as you look up at him. he’s watching you, his scarf still covering most of his face, but his eyes are filled with a kind of quiet hope.

“inumaki…” your voice is barely above a whisper. “this… i…”

he pulls out his phone, typing something quickly before handing it to you.

it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. i just wanted to be honest with you.

you shake your head, a small smile forming on your lips. “no, that’s not it. i feel the same way.”

his eyes widen slightly, and for the first time, he pulls down his scarf, revealing a soft, shy smile that makes your chest feel even tighter.

you really mean that? he types, showing you the screen.

you nod, stepping closer until there’s barely any space between you. “yeah, i do.”

he exhales slowly, the tension in his shoulders melting away. he gestures toward the ground beneath the tree, silently asking if you want to sit. you agree, and the two of you settle down, side by side, the evening sky stretching out above you.

as the stars begin to peek through the fading light, you lean against his shoulder, his warmth grounding you. no words are spoken, but none are needed. everything you both feel is understood in the quiet, in the unspoken clarity of the moment.

notes:

sigh this feels very underwhelming

i hate this

gojo smau next

i’ll do better on that one trust

sorry this is so ass chat

wrote this while i was going through a lot of stuff and not in the best place mentally so i couldn’t plan properly, forgive me for this pls🙏🏼🙏🏼

maybe i’ll write a bonus chap to make up for it

taglist: @aestheticallyvini @mizuislesscringe @satoryaa @jammofsammichflip @brideads @genxnarumi @sad-darksoul @runfrme @c4ttheart @vexis-world @vorfreudevortex @kiss-my-asscheeks @diorrxluvskz @mayyhaps @twiishaa @pxppetmxster @ch3rry-lips @walllflowerrrsss @veevei @tomikixd @fushiguruuzzzz @pinxeajin @beaniesayshi @unofficialsapphire @sirenla @a-phan-of-youtube @pandabiene5115 @azharyy @cloudxox @iluv-ace @starrysho @tibibibi123 @definitelynotanalien @breadfrenchsandwich @spookypeacesandwich @kuniz-darlingg @urnightstalker @mammoanlmao @s4toruz @diorzs @malyaerzu @thebestsetter

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 16

i don’t think i’ve ever been this fucking tired.

sometimes people act like one thing, even though they’re something else.

that little bit of hope, that’s the part i couldn’t bear.

i would give anything to feel like a good person again.

best way to make us suffer is to give us hope.

piecing this together is like trying to grab hold of water.

so far, i’m underwhelmed. 

i don’t want a relationship. i just want to be with you all the time.

i just wanna know why everyone always abandons me.

i can’t be around you anymore. it’s confusing, and it makes me feel insane.

you didn’t take me out of love, you took me out of spite. 

don’t let love make you out to be a fool. leave before you’re left.

you are a lonely, selfish, narcissistic asshole. 

every time i look at you, i feel so completely dismantled. 

i have people who mean more to me than you would ever understand. 

always surprised to see you so tenderhearted. 

that’s more like salvation than a simple favor.

when i think about the specifics too much, i just get sad.

i let my ego get in the way of a lot of good shit in my life.

it’s easier to lose interest than to work through things. 

it’s my life. it’s already over in the first place. 

i only wanted to leave because i’ve never felt seen here.

do you wanna be right, or do you wanna have your family?

you’re exactly like me. that’s the problem.

i just wanna feel normal. please help me feel normal.

it felt like we were changing the world.

i am so sorry i freaked out. it will not happen again.

i thought that work would distract me.

you challenged me, and in return, i made you feel small. i’m sorry.

you said that we were bad for each other.

why is my fucking point of view the one everyone’s assuming is wrong?

sometimes it feels like i’m watching other people experience things.

you know, sometimes i think you just lie for the fun of it.

i fucking love that. i love when you stoop to my level.

sometimes i just wanna feel so normal that i’m almost boring.

that’s the thing about liars. they look just like everybody else.

i don’t hate you. what good is that gonna do?

i feel angry, sad, betrayed. i don’t hate you, i feel bad for you.

i feel bad for you because you aren’t the good person you thought you were. that’s gotta hurt, knowing that.

i'm either all in or all out. i need to find a way forward.

when you are ready, this will make you stronger. better.

you either adapt, or you lose your mind.

don’t tell me you’re pretty, privileged, and humorless.

you know, at some point, we’re gonna have to start trusting each other. 

i used to be a happier person.

thank you for not being full of shit.

she was a nuisance as a child and a horror show as a teen. 

i’m so sick of hearing everybody’s opinions about me.

i don’t think you’re pathetic. i just want you to be careful.

i’m done looking like a fucking idiot, so i’m asking you to treat me with some respect from now on.

i just got you back. i’m not losing you again.

everyone was so scared, there was no time to be angry.

i believed in you. don’t you get that?

would you rather i just pick you apart and make you feel like shit?

what you want is for me to read your mind so i can say whatever you want to hear at any given time.

i was already on my fucking own.

whatever this is, it’s you and i.

i couldn’t kill you. i’d probably just cry.

if we’re gonna do this, we’re doing it together.

this seems like a really good plan to piss off my parents, so i’m in.

do things around here feel different to you?

scared people do scary things. even the good ones.

i know we don’t right now. but could we make sense again?

we keep playing with fire, and we need to stop before we burn our lives down.

i am the one who keeps people alive.

which fucking nightmare am i supposed to be afraid of?

i cant help if i’m in the dark.

every time something good happens, something bad comes to ruin it.

whatever this is, we are stronger than this.

will i ever feel normal again?

i think this is your normal now. and everyday, you’ll get a little more comfortable with it.

[coraniaid]

I wish that Professor Maggie Walsh had been the true Big Bad of Season 4. And I wish that she hadn't been unceremoniously killed off halfway through the season. And I wish that -- over the whole history of the show -- she wasn't one of only three human women aged over 25 who were allowed more speaking time than the creepy sex robot Warren Mears builds in Season 5 [and note, by the way, that neither of the other two are alive at the end of the show either].

But most of all I wish -- I really, really wish -- that I could persuade myself that Maggie Walsh was even the slightest bit interesting. Because I'm sorry, but she's just not.

Is there any villainous character on the show where the difference between how compelling they could have been and how boring they actually are in canon is this stark? The show has had some pretty underwhelming arc villains, sure, but Adam is about as interesting as a rejected Doctor Who villian with a floppy disk drive in his chest could ever have been and the First Evil was originally created to be a disposable monster of the week to begin with so it's hardly a surprise she doesn't manage to transcend this and Caleb very obviously only exists at all because the writers panicked when they realized the First coudn't offer any sort of personal physical threat.

But Professor Walsh should have been different! This was the start of the post-high school seasons; a start to establish the tone of the whole show going forward. She would have been the first antagonist fully grounded in the world of the real; not a vampire or an immortal man who sold his soul to become a big snake, but a fully human villain who never stops being human. She could have been written as a juxtaposition of Principal Snyder and the Mayor and Gwendolyn Post; or as a more explicit foil of Joyce Summers or Rupert Giles. She could have been a villain who could challenge Buffy in both the supernatural and regular worlds. She was a successful woman in her fifties in academia in the 1990s! Wouldn't a show whose "feminism" was anything but surface deep be even a little bit interested in exploring what that meant?

Professor Walsh could have related to Buffy and her friends in ways no previous villain ever did. What does it mean for Buffy -- who we've seen worry so much about her own future prospects, and her fear of ending up like her mother -- to have a possible role model who managed to combine a sucessful career with knowledge of the supernatural? What if Walsh's attempts to win Buffy over to her side lasted for more than half an episode? Or, failing that, what sort of threat could a smart and capable human who knew about Buffy's secret identity as a Slayer have posed her, given her own pronounced reluctance about hurting ordinary humans? What would it have meant for Buffy's fears of not being fully human if an expert in the supernatural had looked at her and seen a monster? And why is Willow suddenly interested in studying pyschology all of a sudden, and does it have anything to do with the fact her own parents are both succesful academics who work in this field?

The writers aren't interested in even pretending to address any of these questions. [Did they even remember what career they gave Willow's parents?]

Depressingly, the only reason Professor Walsh is actually here is to answer the question "what if your new boyfriend's stuck-up mom didn't like you because she was a jealous bitch and then she immediately got herself killed anticlimatically because she was also really fundamentally stupid about it?".

What a waste. And they hired Lindsay Crouse for this?

(Also: if they were going to make Professor Walsh a "world renowned" pyschologist the writers should maybe have bothered to look into how seriously the field took the ideas of Sigmund Freud in 1999. Although her character's second career of experimenting on and cutting up demonic creatures for fun and profit would have made a lot more sense if they'd set her up as some kind of biologist, right? Or just make her an English literature teacher, if her teaching career is meant to be a front anyway and you want her to deliver themtically relevant monologues about Freud and Jung. At least I'd believe Buffy and Willow wanting to go to her class then.)

[taintandviolent]

Going to a haunted house with my boy Max Cooperman

And even though it's not that great, he still gets scared. (He acts like he isn't to save face-)

Halloween prompt do with this as u will! 💜

warnings: language, reader being kinda' mean, Max being a little bitch, cock grabbing, uhhhhh I think that's it.

You bounce on your heels, excited. You love haunted houses, and everything about the season. Good or bad, you’re there for them. Except this time, you dragged Max with you. He swore up and down that he’s done haunts before, but the way his head sweeps back and forth, perking up in the direction of every little noise tells you otherwise. 

“Are you scared?” You jeer, looking over at Max. 

“What? Fuck no. This thing looks laaaame.” 

It does. Even from where he’s standing – behind you, which is totally a coincidence, by the way – he can see that this haunt looks very low-budget and very underwhelming. So why was his heart racing? 

The line shuffles forward, and in the distance, the jarring hum of chainsaws can be heard, paired with some high-pitched screams from patrons. He looks around, uncomfortably scanning his surroundings. He clocks a weird looking clown a few strides ahead in the line, snorting and snarling in unsuspecting faces. Not today, motherfucker. Max narrows his eyes, and crosses his arms, still watching him. His muscles flex mindlessly. 

“This looks super lame. Waste of ten bucks.” He jerks his chin over your shoulder, his eyes still locked on the ever-approaching clown. You follow his line of sight, and see the haunt clown approaching, toying with people in the line in front of you. 

“Okay, tough guy,” you say, nudging him hard back with your shoulder. He stumbles just slightly, and shoots you a disapproving look. 

Soon, it’s your turn, and you immediately swing him in front of you, not thinking twice about it. Max rights his shoulders, broadening them and marches inside like he’s ready to fight. Spoiler alert: he isn’t. 

As soon as you're inside, it takes a couple of seconds for your eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, but when they do, you see a pair of feet and smirk. They aren’t very good at hiding themselves, but still, you brace yourself for the oncoming scare. A ghoul girl in the corner emerges from between the curtains, wailing loudly at you two. Her painted hand reaches for Max, and he rears back into you, letting out a high pitched, voice cracking yelp.

“Max!” You scream, laughing. “You can’t be serious!” 

“What! It was a loud noise, okay? Chill out, don’t make a big deal.” 

You snort and shake your head and shove him forward. Strobe lights flash in front of you and thick strips of black plastic, probably industrial trash bags, line the hallways. Max takes an apprehensive step, and cranes his neck around the corner. 

“Are you seriously scared?!” You shout, over the sounds of the haunt. 

“No I’m – AAAAHH FUCK!” A chainsaw revs, cutting him off as a knockoff Leatherface rounds the corner, holding the de-bladed chainsaw above his head before thrusting it in Max’s general direction. Again, Max rears back, knocking into you and you catch him at the shoulders, practically howling with laughter. 

“Fight or flight and you choose flight? Really? That’s a shocker.”

He huffs, embarrassed as he shuffles past the actor. “I was about to fucking hit him, I swear to god!” 

“Right, yeah, that’s why you screamed like a bitch?” 

Max has nothing to say to this, but if you could see his face, you’d see that he was totally tough and absolutely was gonna’ clock Leatherface. 

As you round a particularly dark corner, you urge him forward, pressing your stomach against his back. Your hands reach around his torso and cup his flaccid cock from outside his jeans. He jerks, but keeps it quiet. Shockingly. 

“Keep this up, and I’ll really give you something to scream about later.” 

With that, you shove him forward into the darkness towards the howls and screams. There was something kinda' cute about how scared and pathetic he was being, something that ignited a fire deep within your belly.

"Fresh meat!" You yelled, cupping your hands around your mouth.

"Shut up, shut up!"

[mynameisjag]

Quick Prompt: Wanting What Someone Else Has.

Scott finds out about the new Logan, Wade doesn't care about Scott's problems. Logan isn't even aware.

Wade stared at Scott.

Scott stared at Wade.

At least the mercenary assumed he was, kind of hard to tell, you know…with the glasses…

He’d give him a point for managing to get the drop on him though, showed up late enough not to be any help, early enough were they hadn’t left the mark's disgustingly beige mansion.

It looked better with the splashes of red everywhere.

Even the boring ass, uncomfortable lounges that they were sitting on, looked better with the splatter.

Cyclops was sitting on the less messy one, so maybe he didn’t agree or he just choose that one because then they could just sit and stare at each other face to face.

“Where’s Logan?”

“Better question, how are you alive? This better not be some multiverse MCU bullshit.”

Logan was probably eating his fill in the kitchen, the owners pervert party was catered and why leave and get underwhelming fast food when there was free rich fucks food that was going to go to waste anyway.

Lo had talked about his…hunting trips…sometimes, always on the move, always going from target to target, that at one point it was just sensible to eat what was there, rest, take what was need and move on. Considering how most of the fucks he went after were people of high importance, government jobs or just rich assholes, their was always alcohol, fancy foods, and wallets that no one noticed was gone till it was too late.

So this current hit was just another day for the feral.

Scott’s Logan was more man then his, could easily be mistaken for just another human without powers.

Wade’s though, his had lost himself to the calling of his inner animal and became it as he hunted those that had hurt his family. Body changing to its new needs, becoming the human predator he needed to be.

Logan hated it, hated what his body became, his behavior, his instincts, everything that changed, he hated it all. He spent so long trying to fit the profile others had tried to shove him into that losing himself to what was himself was a failure in his eyes. A shameful failure.

It wasn’t true of course and they were working on that, both supporting each other because they both were so fucked up but at least they were fucked up together.

Wade talked to the air and the millions of eyes that watched them, Logan would snarl and make more animal sounds then use his voice at times.

The merc highly doubted the X-men, at least this version, were going to be able to handle his Wolverine.

“There’s no dog for you to collar here, laser pointer, so why don’t you make your way back to whoever else has found the well of life in that mansion and fuck off.”

Seemed like he might have hit a nerve as that frown somehow got deeper, “I’m here for my friend.”

“You’re a good couple of states away from your Wolverine’s grave, can get you an Uber there if your that directionally challenged.”

“We know he is here, with you-“

“-Nope! Again, you have eye issues not hearing, your-hear that strain on that-your Logan is dead.” Deadpool reached forward to grab a drink he had set on the end table earlier before getting interrupted, “speaking of dead, you still haven’t answered how you’re still kicking around.”

“Your life isn’t the only one that involves time travels.”

“Oh, good, just the normal X-men bullshit then, should we be expecting the other Logan then?”

“No…he is still…gone…his body, or what we can find of it, is now resting back at the mansion…not all of us are back.”

“Oooh, I probably should have put that puzzle back together before jumping…everyone is still on the fence on whether or not old Wolves would have gotten a kick out of me playing Ninja Warrior with his tibias?”

“And what does that mean?”

“Ignore it and my little chats with the “gremlins” as Honey Bunny puts it, now, I’m going to guess you thought if you couldn’t have one, you figured you could take mine? Did Daddy Professor not drill in manners in all of that training, it’s rude to take other people’s stuff.”

“He isn’t your ‘stuff’, you don’t know how to handle him.”

At that precise moment, Logan ran past in the background, on all fours and a chunk of meat in his mouth, the merc was glad that Cyclops couldn’t follow his line of sight because of the mask. Cause all the red head had to do was slightly turn his head and he would see the man he was searching for bounding upstairs like an overly excited puppy with a new toy.

Either the man found fresh grade A steak or he had decided that some one smelled delicious and took a chuck. 50 50 chance on either option really and at least the blood was everywhere here instead of back in the apartment.

Al was less likely to complain when she didn’t slip and slide through puddles of blood.

“Handle him? Scottie too Hottie!”, at this point he lifts his mask enough to sip at the drink in his hand, grimacing at the flavor, how did they make fruit soda taste bad, “ugh, high society tastes are awful,” he wiggles the can at the other man, “want it?”

“No.”

“Don’t blame you, I can how ever blame you for thinking that for some shit reason that Lobunny, wait fuck that’s a Pokémon, Lo Bun Bun, is unable to think for himself and that I somehow can stop him from going wherever he wants to go.”

“He hasn’t came home, yet, if he was able to go-“

“That place isn’t his home, you are not his X-men, he is not a replacement, well, he is an anchor being replacement but not a ‘pick up where the last Logan left off’ replacement. So what ever regrets or amends you wanted to have, they should be aimed at the grave and not the man you wished was the one you lost,” Deadpool threw the can over the others head, before flipping over the couch he was on, landing on his feet and giving double finger guns at the X-man before the can could hit the wall, “well, good chat, but we gotta go!”

Scott was standing up now, face serious and ready to counter argue when flashing lights from outside reflected in the windows, sirens coming closer, “is that the police?”

“Yeah!,” now the mercenary was opening a window, hanging halfway out of it as he made grabby hands at something above him, “hope you got a ride,” blue colored gloves grabbed his red ones and he was yanked out and upward, “tootles!”

Scott took a deep breath, calming himself down before turning and heading toward his own escape.

He’ll try another day.

[elumish]

My Experience With Digital-First Royalty-Only Publishing (Part 2)

Disclaimer: just my experience, may not reflect other people's

Part 1 (What is this sort of publishing; how did I get published; what does the submission, contract, and editing process look like)

Book Release:

My [redacted] book came out in April 2024. It is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and the publisher's own website, where it is listed for a couple dollars less than on Amazon/B&N. It's available both digitally (in multiple different file formats) and for print (paperback).

I can't speak for whether this is standard across these sorts of publishers, but it probably isn't unusual. This does mean that the book can't be available on Kindle Unlimited, given how Kindle Unlimited's requirements work.

The timing for this sort of publishing is extremely fast compared to traditional or even small-press print publishing. I signed the contract in late August 2023 and sent in the final draft to my editor in late October 2023, and the book was released in late April 2024.

Book cover:

For designing my book cover, they pointed me towards where they pull stock images from and asked me to describe the sort of cover I would want, including possible stock images. They also asked for physical characteristics of my characters, which is when I realized that I had no clue what my characters look like.

The stock image website included AI art, as well as regular non-AI stock images. I specifically requested no AI art, including no AI-generated stock images. As far as I am aware, they respected that request.

Once they created one, they sent me a mock-up and asked about minor changes (typography, etc., from what I remember). I didn't have any changes. Overall, my cover looks like what I described to them, and I'm really happy with it.

Marketing:

My marketing experience with my publisher has been decidedly underwhelming. They seem to have started to revamp their marketing process right around when my book came out, so my book didn't receive/hasn't received a huge amount of marketing support from them.

What they gave me marketing-wise: a few marketing images for pre-release/post-release, including Twitter and FB header images, etc.; general marketing guidance for what I could/should be doing; a couple of mentions on their publisher Instagram post-release and a mention in their weekly newsletter

What they didn't give me marketing-wise: connection to reviewers, including sending an ARC or providing a list of reviewers that might be good to work with; marketing materials for sites like TikTok or Instragram; a meaningful amount of airtime/mention on their accounts; a large following of their own

Overall, the marketing is what is probably most like self-publishing--a huge amount of it is on me (and I am terrible at it). It will be interesting to see what their revamp brings, but they are starting from a minimal following and not a lot of previous activity on their accounts, and so they also need to build their reach to make their marketing on their accounts more effective.

Royalties/payment:

I get paid on a monthly basis through PayPal. I also receive a royalty statement that lists days, amount/type sold, etc. so I can reconcile with what they have paid me. From what I have seen this royalty statement is pretty standard.

So far, they've been prompt and haven't had issues with payments.

However, because of (among other things) their general lack of marketing, my royalty statements have been fairly low. So far (and, granted, the book came out less than 2 months ago) I have made very little money on this.

My Path Forward:

I've thought a lot about whether I will continue to do this sort of publishing. I am currently querying my "main" books, and I don't plan to publish them through this sort of publishing, even if the publisher would likely accept them.

My contract stipulates that my publisher has right of first refusal for the rest of the books in this series. I am currently writing book two, and I plan to also write a third, as I had initially discussed with them. Beyond that, I'm not sure. I don't mind working with them as a company, but I don't know if they have the processes in place for me to make money publishing with them.

One thing I will likely do is explore other romance publishers that accept unagented submissions. They have a much lower barrier of entry and they are often willing to accept books that trad publishers might not want to spend money/reputational risk on.

As such, I would likely submit to these publishers stories that I don't think traditional publishers/agents would likely to be willing to publish, including more niche subgenres and less standard lengths that are easier to publish digitally.

Why do I redact the name of my book?

Honestly because I'm a coward and because people are weird about romance, especially certain subgenres of romance. I also plan to use this account for my main agented publishing, if I ever reach that point, and I don't necessarily want those two pen names associated.

Any other questions about this sort of publishing?

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 8

(i made a post earlier as a preface as to what to expect in this IDWTW, check it out if you missed it)

Alex [leading the intro of the video]: "....Logan and I, we're here in honor of Wimbledon to play *turns to a detached and uninterested Logan* table tennis. Because nothing says Wimbledon like table tennis."

Logan [finally looking up right at him, starting to laugh]: "I think that's like... disrespectful..."

[they both laugh]

oh, alex. alex albon. you beautiful human being you. something i've mentioned earlier that i'm going to get into now: their dynamic is fluid and compatible and gentle, but it's hard to exactly fit them into roles because they switch back and forth. there might be two primary positions, but they flip back and forth between them easily depending on what the other needs. so Role A might have this sort of gentle leadership and reassuring presence, guiding the other through the task and getting them to engage with the game even as they're unfocused and overstimulated. Role B is a little lost, too in their head, unable to focus and unable to engage until they find themselves prompted by the reminder that oh, it's not just a game, it's a game with him. but it's impossible to put either of them down as always A or always B because earlier in the series we've seen logan help alex stabilize and recenter himself through his hyperactivity and now, more and more often, we're seeing alex coax logan out of his little shadowy corner. and alex does it in a way that even though it's an unspoken but obvious instruction (get your head in the game etc.) it's so personal it actually looks intimate, even on camera. the way he waits til the end of the sentence (while logan tries to pretend he isn't there) and then turns to face logan, lifting his arm to make a point but also opening up his shoulders toward logan and straight up leaning forward with that smile. he's tilting his entire face away from the camera so he can smile it logan, so he can say with his eyes "i know we're just doing this stupid challenge but i want you to know i'm not trying to drag you through it, i know you they're making you jump through these hoops and it's not fun and it's condescending and insulting, but i'm here and we're gonna do it and i'm gonna make this fun for you." and logan looks up and meets alex's eyes and they're so on each others' levels that these connections happen within a split second, almost easy to miss but when you catch a glimpse of it i feel like i'm intruding through the lens of the camera...

no reason to include this other than i felt like citing my sources (it's written all over their faces)

generally underwhelmed by william's admin choices for these videos. not only are the challenges really unoriginal, but they're also really simple. there's not a whole lot of challenge and there's also not a whole lot to go off. even ferrari adding a blindfold to everything ends up with better content than this. it should be obvious– mclaren admin has this down– but what makes the content popular isn't the score of the stupid table tennis game, it's the interaction. it's the dynamic. one of the reasons we're seeing alex go so obviously out of his way to bring logan into the picture is because admin has given them basically nothing to work with, so there isn't a backtrack of this is fun! this is interesting! this is amusing! to distract us. there's just alex wanting logan to have fun with him and logan not being in a situation to want or even be able to have fun.

[Pretty uneventful game over, Alex wins]

Alex: "5-3, to the champion, it's the– uh, this was a great victory for me and I'm, I'm very happy, I–"

Logan 😊😊: "Does that mean you could win Wimbledon?"

sorry if you ever thought you were babygirl for alex albon, logan sargeant has blown you out of the water. this is the cutest thing i have ever seen. this is how my dog looks at me when i come home from college.

ahhh this is nice to see. these are the roles i was talking about earlier. this is a pretty good callback to episode 5, but once again vice versa– then alex was still feeling hyper and silly from the game and logan was the one both guiding the activity and kind of letting alex calm down on his own time and still engaging him, now we've swapped. logan is almost looking at the camera now– he's almost doing the actual media presentation part of his job as opposed to the cap covering his face, head down, body language less expressive than a statue. only he can't make himself look at the camera for more than a few seconds because he's looking at alex.

he isn't even moving the video along. he's just straight up interrupting. alex has to due some mental and verbal gymnastics later on to get the activity back to the wheel-spinning part but still makes a point to segue from what logan's yapping about to the wheel instead of cutting him off completely.

also, round of applause for whatever moment between this video and last video where they've both become totally at one with the "awkward slanted shoulder one arm on the table so they can inconspicuously face each other" pose because unless they're actively swinging a paddle that's pretty much their default for this video. because that's the game for them. the fact that they're with each other.

i think i have one more episode to do. i'm still going to do it, because leaving this unfinished would somehow feel worse, as if none of this ever happened. but it fucking did. it was here and it's on video and alex fucking remembers and i'm not going to give up on immortalizing these moments and what they might have meant just because james consonants somebody wants to erase them.

[whatevertheweather]

Hellooooo on this somewhat dreary Sunday. I have been almost completely incapable of writing lately, but this day is more than half over and I'd like to manage at least one (1) thing, so I'm going to throw together a few snippets from the backburner projects that I don't usually share things from. I have a notion that switching it up this way will...realign my brain. Or something.

So here we go, each from a different WIP, in order of how much they've pulled me away from the things I should actually be working on. You'll get three that are reasonably comparable moods and then we're going to switch the tone in rather a jarring way.

Under the cut because not a one of them will be under six sentences.

ONE

“Don’t give me that,” Baz tosses his head. “We talk about this at least weekly.” “We actually talk very deliberately around it,” Agatha corrects with a smirk. “Yes, well, we both know what it is we’re not talking about,” he snaps. It goes very loudly unspoken. No one named, just a tacit understanding that Baz is gone for someone, casual mention of highly specific hypotheticals, and an uptick in the conversation about it when Simon leaves the room. “I’m obsessed with your ex-boyfriend, are you happy? Does it bring you joy to hear me say it?” Agatha heaves a long sigh, her mouth pursed in thought. “It’s actually not as fulfilling as I thought it would be,” she muses, stopping once more while her dog pretends it has any pee left to gift to the local shrubbery. “I’m kind of underwhelmed.” Baz looks up to the sky. “Ever so sorry my problems don’t entertain.” “What problems?” she says. “My ex-boyfriend just sent you a musical love confession. I will bet actual money that you’ve had dreams like this.” “I don’t know what he meant by sending it!”

TWO

As Simon is returning from loitering in the copy room for a change of scenery, he sees on Penny's screen that she's in the middle of responding to an email from Baz.  Simon flips her paper tray off the desk. “Oh, rotten luck!” “Simon!” Penny yelps as she futilely lurches to catch her scattered papers. “Why would you do that?” “Me? I’m over here,” Simon says from her other side, reaching across her station and deleting the drafted email. Penny’s head pops up with another indignant sound for the click of her mouse, but Simon is dropping into his own chair while she’s still bent at the waist in hers, apparently unable to decide whether to figure out what he’s done on her computer or to collect her paperwork. Simon leaves her to it and opens Baz’s email at his station.

THREE

“Snow—” “It’s not—look, it’s not a big deal, we can just ignore it—” “Ignore—?” “It doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t even mean anything, it’s fine, like, what’s it even matter, really?” Simon made the mistake of glancing up at Baz again after finally pulling his eyes away. He looked like someone had smacked him in the face with a fly swatter. Or a bolt of lightning. “Nothing has to change.” Baz’s mouth pulled into a snarl as he charged forward a step, but he stopped. His back snapped into position, spine straight and rigid. Simon could see it play out on his face as he drew a line between them, pulled himself back in. “Are you messing with me?” he whispered. “What?” “If you’re messing with me, I will disembowel you.” “Jesus Christ, Baz—” “I will eviscerate you,” he hissed. “Are you messing with me?” Maybe he should say yes.

FOUR

Baz didn’t open his eyes. He kept his hand over his mouth and turned his face into his pillow, tried to choke down the sound building in his chest as Snow knelt beside his bed. Snow’s heart had kicked up to a quicker beat, but his breath was steady. The weight of his hand settled on the blanket, just shy of Baz’s elbow. “What can I do?” he asked. It knocked into something already crooked in Baz’s chest. “You’re—you’re shivering, are you cold?” Baz screwed his eyes up tighter and nodded. “Okay, okay, here—” Simon stood, stepped away, stepped again, shifted beside the bed with a heavy rustle of fabric. “Here.” Baz opened his eyes and shook his head, a breath stuck in his throat as he jerked back from Simon’s blanket, pushed it away. “Okay, hey, okay,” Simon said softly, twisting the blanket around his hand and throwing it to the floor. “There, okay? Okay. Do you—can I—hey, okay, can I just—?” Simon did it slowly, leaning over Baz’s bed with a hand poised between them like he was ready for Baz to lash out, ready to retreat. Baz didn’t, and Simon kept going. Baz didn’t lift his eyes past Simon’s chin when Simon laid down beside him.

That last one is the last one because we're ranking by things that have taken up time recently. If we're going all-time, it should be number one. It is in fact in a WIP sub-folder called "the labyrinth is growing," where it lives in perpetual limbo with five other documents.

Now tags <3

@monbons @forabeatofadrum @artsyunderstudy thank you for the tags today!

@fatalfangirl @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @moodandmist @mooncello @whogaveyoupermission

@cutestkilla @run-for-chamo-miles @iamamythologicalcreature @thewholelemon @rimeswithpurple

@alexalexinii @martsonmars @facewithoutheart @aristocratic-otter @youarenevertooold

@bookish-bogwitch @noblecorgi @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ileadacharmedlife

[nipuni]

Some various lighthearted life updates 🏃‍♀️

It's been a very busy last few months! in a good way mostly. We had a friend visiting us from overseas so we showed him around the city and took him to all our favourite places. We also met new people and were invited to a bunch of events so it's been very fun! We are all out of social battery tho so now we are slowing down a bit and getting back to work. Nicolas is on a short work trip to Berlin and I'm back to painting. We also started running! aaand we are also back to watching a bunch of shows and to me talking about it here to like five people 😌

Under the cut cause it's a lot as usual!

We finished watching S13 of Doctor Who! (we still have the specials to go but after that we are all caught up!) I haven't updated in ages so here are lot of opinions!

We really did not enjoy S11 😞 I was aware it wasn't very popular but we were hoping it was for all the wrong reasons, sadly we found many to be valid. Some of the episodes were baffling, Rosa? Kerblam?! the writing of the whole season in general felt like a rushed school assignment. The first part of Spyfall was a strong start for the next season but that ending in the second part was really not it. We did love Sacha Dhawan's Master tho!! and we really love Jodie too, 13th is adorable and reminded us of Ten at times! Jodie is such a fantastic actress that it makes the quality of the writing and everything else around her even more frustrating 😫 S12 was an improvement in general. In the last few episodes It felt like the writing team suddenly remembered the companions could have a personality and agency lmao. Highlights for us were Spyfall one, Fugitive of the Judoon and Haunting of villa Diodati, tho we did also enjoy most other episodes of the season despite their issues.

The timeless child plot reveal felt a bit underwhelming? The idea on itself has potential but it felt mishandled (and it had a bit of a Moffat flavour to it? and not in a good way). I think it was meant to add more depth to the Doctor's lore but in a way it ends up having the opposite effect. Then the flux was just a complete mess. It read like a Marvel sort of plot, very comic book like which is alright I suppose if that is something you enjoy but it felt out of place. But mostly it was just way too much, it got out of hand. Anyway we still have the specials to watch! and I think the Master is in them so we are looking forward to it 🥰

We also watched Broadchurch!! and we LOVED it. We ended up binging all three seasons. Chibnall's writing on this is surprisingly great and Jodie's acting is spectacular she really shines here. Olivia and David are always brilliant!! honestly everyone's acting was amazing. This series had us both tearing up every five scenes. The direction and the music are outstanding. I could watch Hardy and Miller solve crimes forever I really love their chemistry and dynamic. We went into it expecting the usual detective fiction but it ended up being a whole study on grief with such a focus on family and community and trauma and a ton of touching interconnected character arcs, just really really good!!

Then we also watched Taking over the Asylum!! MAN we were not expecting to have our hearts wrung out like laundry by this!! We thought it was a lighthearted show!! GOD we are still not over it, what the fuck!! It was so good we loved it!! but we were not prepared lmao what do you mean 'the end'?? we'll be thinking of this for months, I was expecting an extra scene after the credits or something. Excellent characters, refreshing depictions of mental illness and trauma and so crushingly realistic. Every character is so loveable I really wish this was longer 😭

And our quest to watch everything with David Tennant on it continues. We watched Decoy Bride on Valentines day too and it was terrible but such a hilarious fever dream kind of bad that it was fun, it has David on it and he never disappoints. I feel so lucky that Nicolas and I are both in love with him, get yourself a man who shares your celebrity crushes lmao it's so fun!! We feel like teens again chatting about him and drawing little hearts next to his pictures haha 🥰 We watched the BAFTAs just for him and speaking of the baftas!! I was not expecting that last drawing of his outfits to get that much attention oh my god 😭 thank you!! you are all insane and I appreciate it so much!! and thank you for all the support in general, about my art and photos and just everything. I feel very lucky and grateful 😭 anyway I'll end this before I get sappy, that is all for now! I hope this week is kind to you all, I'll be sharing some more art soon 😊

[b0tsbby]

Signifying Meaning in Tristamp’s Vash and Knives S1 Designs and Visual Cues: Part 2

TLDR: How Everything but Stamp’s dialogue supports it’s characters

Trigun Stampede spoilers and potential Max/98 spoilers. TW for fucking episode 11 and 12 of this show I hate it.

I wrote this so that the order doesn’t matter and you can read part 2 or 1 first, though I ask of not reading just one part cause the two kinda work together? Sort of???

If you want a fun drinking game, take a shot everytime I mention the other twin (I’m sorry).

Vash the Stampede

Despite my overt support and gravitation to a certain twin in Stampede and Trigun as a whole, I actually started out Trigun like many, and empathised with Vash more. While not my favourite character at first, ( Wolfwood holds that title), the sadness I felt for Mr Vash after that finale was insurmountable, and now he’s like…guy no.3 I like. With that outta the way, let’s get started.

Ep.1 Ghost of the Man

It shouldn’t be a surprise that I started Trigun with Stampede, and later delved into 98 and Max, so my outrage at Stampede Vash’s design wasn’t so genuine. A google search later and I could tell that the difference however, was jarring.

We first get introduced to Vash laughing hysterically, upside down with his hair mimicking his original look and glasses obscuring his eyes (hold on to that, it’s important). Not the most charming of introductions, but a fun reference to sir Diablo nonetheless.

Meryl gets him down, and his attitude changes slightly. This mysterious man turns out to be somewhat approachable if a little looney.

This sequence already introduces a visual cue Orange loves to use in Stampede, the obstruction of eyes, the window to the soul. This is particularly significant for Vash’s character. His words and gestures suggest an open, friendlier nature, but we as an audience are kept at an arms length through this obstruction. Vash definitely makes no effort to separate himself or keep a distance, a good facade, as Vash still keeps his deepest thoughts and feelings to himself.

This changes after a bit, we see Vash’s eyes for the first time at the bar. Vash here has calculated the type of people Meryl and Roberto. This doesn’t mean he lets his guard down, but rather has decided on the best way to now approach them. Like a mask, Vash has now decided the best one to wear for this social charade.

Ep 1 is littered with moments like this. Another significant one is his encounter and our first introduction to the plants. We're shut out of Vash’s psych once again as Vash looks at both the dying and healthy plant, one lens red and the other blue, a visual of Vash’s internal conflict before we ever really get to figure him out.( And yes that is a Matrix reference, red pill, blue pill. Oh my god.)

Contextually we can link these colours to certain themes and characters, but we’ll sum that up later.

With the psychology of his glasses out the way, we can move on to his style.

Vash wears a big red coat, with a turquoise interior, a black turtleneck, black trousers and swept forward, spiky hair. He still has his signature prosthetic arm, however in this iteration, it’s made of turquoise translucent like metal. And of course, Orange kept his very important mole and left earring.

The bright red is undoubtedly pretty flashy in this drab, brown landscape. If you didn’t know he was the main character before, now you do! On its own, his look is, okay, not exactly groundbreaking but visually distinct enough for you to care.

The disappointment really lies in the comparison of this design and his 98/ Max look. It’s jarringly underwhelming, uncharacteristically new age (ew, new things!). They even swept his anti-gravity needle hair forward! This isn’t so much Vash THE Stampede as it is some shoddy pretty boy imitation of him!

Ring the bell though cause that is where the magic is.

EP 8-9, A Whole Lotta Red (and other colours)

(He’s so tiny here stooooop😭)

Our Home and Millions Knives is littered with the use of red. We’re able to finally give meaning to the colour that defines Vash.

Starting off with his teenage design, Vash is not much different from his brother. He’s wearing scrap cloth he found on this downtrodden planet, painfully human and painfully bland. To reiterate, like his brother, he doesn’t know who he is at this point. He hasn’t decided whether to embrace his past, as his childhood plant suit is nowhere in sight, or embrace his future, whatever that may be. A blank canvas with no solid attachments or motivations yet.

We’ll start off with the psychology of blue;

At this stage, both brothers are blank canvases, barely coping with, well, still being alive. Vash is unlucky enough to be taken in by brad and Luida at first. While some sympathy is garnered from Luida, Vash is still very much othered, until he does something for the wellbeing of Ship 3. It’s here we see again that blue from Ship 5, a plant! But blue doesn’t just represent the sole plant existence, it also signifies their safety and vitality. The blue of his healthy plant sister is the marker for some decency earned from the humans on this ship.

It’s here Vash is walking a fine line to be accepted. He may be a ‘monster’, but he did good, so he’s safe, he’s welcome. It’s here Vash sees what he needs to do to stay on with them in the hopes maybe they’ll forgive him for the Big Fall and being who he is.

It’s then he’s gifted, his signature red coat that doesn’t even fit him yet (awwww). A gift from the humans that took him in despite labelling him as a monster, something other. We learn, red now signifies the love he’s received from humans. This red coat is a living symbol of their ability to change. It’s all figured out.

Then he meets his brother, who naturally, is there just to keep us on our toes. (They called the ship Seeds specifically after Knives impeccable ability to plant the seeds of doubt into almost every 20-something year old watching this show for the first time btw)

The psychology of red takes on a whole new form. Everything is red. The dying plants, the warning lights, the pools of blood on the floor, (from Vash too might I add). Red takes on this meaning of violence, corruption, sickness, pain and death. Most importantly the death of Vash’s plant sisters.

With extra trauma to spare, Vash goes home to ship 3 with a red coat and a red bleeding heart for his sisters and very ambitious brother. Both the bad and good of the psychology of red are displayed, the overarching qualities of humanity.

Ep 1-10, Where Vash Goes Back and Forth

As our main character, we have the privilege of watching Vash’s internal struggle for a sense of purpose and value in real time! In the events of Stampede, we get to pick up a few pieces.

Now that meaning has been attributed to both colours red and blue, destructing the colours of his design becomes a lot more fun.

Thank you Silversora for actually bringing this to my attention specifically.

Overall, Vash’s design communicates a want to blend in, not stand out and well, belong! He’s not an idiot. He knows just as much as his brother the dangers he could put himself in if he fully embraced his plant being. He knows the dangers he could put humans in if he just, fully embraced what he is. In that regard, he’s a little bit ashamed of it.

Vash yearns so badly to be a part of humanity, to be accepted by the same humanity his mother believed in, even if it means suppressing who he is, even if it means being humanity’s showdog.

The tragedy of Vash’s existence lies in an overtness in both sides of the plant and humanity spectrum. Vash is painfully human, and would have easliy passed for one, if he wasn’t such an immensely powerful plant. His existence is dizzying in that its constantly oscillating between two extremes, I’d like to think, too human to be a perfect plant, too plant to be a perfect human. At the end of the day, it is not humans in water tanks. At the end of the day, it is not plants that raised him.

Vash’s coat communicates this tragedy pretty clear, its red with inner blue lining. Outside, Vash is as human-presenting as he can possibly be, it’s what he wants people to see. Internally, his planthood will never leave him, it's the shame, insecurity, he keeps behind this exterior.

And no I haven’t forgotten his black turtleneck and black slacks. There’s no better way than to compare that whole setup with looking into void. Fitting, and very similar to his glasses convention, it’s too obscure his body, his build and yes his scars. A terrible indication of his ever cascading self worth and bodily shame. (If you’re wondering where he got all this shame from, he’s holding on to Knives shame too so his brother can come back one day and collect it with 45% interest.)

Ep 11, The danger of indecision

Okay so we’re at arguably the worst episode ever now, but it’s still littered with visual cues so sit down and just trust me.

Ep 11 is jarringly blue.

I hate to bring the other guy into this, (I’ve done that 5 times in this essay already) but the blue representation in this episode doesn’t fall short on me, considering this is when “The Memory World of Knives” plays from the OST. Back to character design though, this is the unfortunate moment Vash is robbed of his autonomy, and his ability to choose who he is and wants to be. This is where a new colour is brought into the mix, purple.

But this purple is not particularly bright, being more of an accent to black with only his glasses being purple, (I’m going to reiterate here how his glasses are a visual embodiment of the window to the soul). It shouldn’t be missed that the geraniums that grow out of him in this mental warp, are a drowned out purple.

While all this could genuinely mean nothing and I’m wasting your time, I believe it’s expressing the danger of Vash’s foot-in foot-out fawning response. If he doesn’t decide who he is and what he stands for, perpetually living in a state of reaction and guilt, someone else will just figure it out for him and he’ll end up being nothing at all, hence the lack of colour and subtle purple (a muddy middle point between blue and red).

Hope is not lost though, and a second meaning is given to this particularly traumatic hue in the finale.

Ep 12, Where Vash Makes a Choice for himself

Despite holding an unfair amount of empathy for Stampede’s Knives, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than when I watched his ass get kicked. The actualisation, reclaiming of autonomy and defining moment of Vash was incredibly therapeutic.

Vash’s forming of identity was definitely met with more resistance than his twin, but characteristically Vash supersedes Knives again in the transformation of his personal identity and purpose. Vash reaches a level of self awareness, confidence and acceptance that even his brother doesn’t get to until he chooses to ultimately off himself. The exceptional defining moment of Vash the Stampede starts here.

Now that we have defined what blue and red mean in terms of theme, Vash’s purple and black final form gains so much significance. The inner lining of his coat takes on a bright purple colour. As well, red and blue mixed creates a purple hue, this design choice symbolises Vash’s acceptance of his dual identity; he’s too much of a human, he’s too much of a plant. This is just the bittersweet nature of his existence and he’s learned to embrace it.

The outer lining and main composition consisting of black is just as important. While being a very clear reference to Vash’s black coat in his last fight in Max, the black again, obscures his form in this nighttime setting. While we know much more now, Vash is still and will always be a mystery to humanity and the audience; the chameleon in a crowd.

And yes there is Yin and Yang symbolism consistently in this fight. The black passive, female principle associated with sustainability and things earthly, dark and cold (yin code for Vash) and the white aggressive male principle associated with creation and things heavenly, light and warm (yang, code for Knives).

Phew…(Don’t make it weird though, I find the imagery genuinely heartbreaking thank you.)

The more obvious references and ties to Vash finally defining himself remain in his hairstyle, being in the style we know so well. It took a whole season, but the Vash we know is finally coming to be! He’s powerful, he’s agile and he’s determined to live for an active cause, not to simply erase the steps of his own existence.

In the end, Vash doesn’t really change much goal wise, and he ironically sticks to the initial coding of the plant’s existence; to be of service to humanity. But what matters is it’s now his choice and his choice alone. No more (entirely) motivated by shame, guilt and seeking repentance, Vash is now fueled by the love and hope he holds for humanity. He is Vash the Stampede!

And that’s all folks. To end off, I wanna mention something I learnt about broadway that is somewhat related to this analysis. Never listen to the lyrics, listen to the music. I think Stamp’s dialogue is genuinely ass and there’s so much to be missed if you kinda take everything at a surface level. From the character design to visual cues to the INCREDIBLE OST, you find that a lot is not what it seems and a parallel narrative is constantly taking place. While I hope but doubt this was intentional, I fucking love meta stuff like that. With the insinuation of warped memory, an unreliable narrator and fraudulent identities, the possible number of paths this show could take for S2 are almost overwhelmingly endless.

Hopefully in the future I can write an essay solely on identity and adolescence in Stampede cause honestly this is only half of it. I might make an extra part 3 on not exclusively character design facts and things I picked up about the brothers. Otherwise thanks for reading. If you didn’t read this whole thing in Philomena Cunk’s voice though, then I take that back sorry.

Part 1 - Millions Knives

[lovelybarnes]

Sadistic- B. Barnes

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader, other characters make an appearance but it’s mainly natasha romanoff Warnings: mean bucky kind of, mutual pining, teasing, reader being flustered, super projection of my obsession with peanuts right now About: request! Bucky and reader didn’t get along and then bucky discovers she has a sensitive neck and basically uses it against her.

​​Bucky notices you before he sees you.

You’re hidden behind the kitchen island with your legs crossed beneath you and your fingertips grazing the tiles, the few stray strands of hair peeking past the granite of the counter giving you away.

He contemplates turning back nearly immediately, your presence pushing him out of a room as much as it is pulling him in, but it’s sheer greed that makes him lean on his feet, standing at a subtle angle to get even a brief look at you.

Your eyes are glassy and unfocused when he meets them, puckering aimlessly with the arrival of a crease between your brows. He shifts awkwardly in the entrance of the common room, watching you cautiously.

You don’t seem to notice his attention at all, eerily still and uncharacteristically distracted. Bucky should clear his throat, ask if you’re okay, but he hasn’t said something so kind to you in a while, and he’s unwilling to do so now.

What he should do, grounded in stupid values and teenage pride, is set his shoulders, stop squinting to see the outline of your lashes, and push past you to get to the fridge. You’re the one on the ground. He’s an innocent, thirsty bystander who has been looking forward to the cucumber water in the fridge all day.

He pauses, moves his limbs a little to see if you notice. If you do, maybe you’ll push yourself away from smack-dab middle, or maybe your eyes will widen in that sweet, apologetic way they do, where your lashes pinch at the corners in guilt, voice starting in an excuse he’ll scowl at, forcing yours to twist down wrongly at his reaction.

He can admit he’s selfish when you don’t waver and he stays put. Crassly, he leans against the wall and lets his pupils drag down your profile. He flushes immediately with heat and wishes you would rise to your feet and scold him for staring. He isn’t sure what sick part of him would like that most.

But you stay like that for a while, and when you do notice him, it’s an entirely underwhelming consequence. Your shoulders jump only barely and you offer him a vacant blink.

“Hey, Bucky.”

Your voice is quieter than usual but just as sordidly kind.

He grunts in response, setting his attention away from you and pretending like it was never there to start. You shift away when he steps in front of you, narrowly missing your nail. You frown down at your hands, glancing up at Bucky’s back.

He hears you stand, the soft sound your fingers make against the cupboard and the inhale you take. You twist your mouth and squeeze your fingers, eyes on him from your distance. He doesn’t turn to you.

“What’re you looking for?” you ask after a few seconds.

“Water.”

“Water,” you repeat. “The cucumber one? I’m so sorry, I just grabbed the last bit.”

He makes a low noise, shutting the refrigerator. ���It’s fine.”

“No, no,” you argue, turning around to pull a mug from behind the fruit bowl. It’s chipped at the rim, with a pale yellow handle and thin vertical indents around its body. A bumpy orange mushroom is embossed over green blades of grass. You hook your middle and index fingers through the handle and hold it out to him expectantly. “You can have it.”

Bucky shifts on his feet, hands down at his sides. He wants to start kindly. “No.”

You blink at him. “Are… are you sure? I don’t think you’ve had very much. I haven’t drank from it at all, I promise. I just poured it before I…”

Bucky thinks he should ask. “‘M sure.”

You nod slowly, setting the mug down. There’s something hesitant and wanting over your features, a small crease back between your brows. “Okay then.” You offer him a smile, a little awkward but nonetheless pretty. He needs to go. “I can bring you some more? I usually buy it from this little vendor on Saturday, but I can make an early stop.”

“That’s okay.”

You chew on your cheek. “Maybe you want to go with me?”

He freezes. “What?”

You take in a big gulp of air, shoulders pushed back gently. “I feel like…” You chew your lip, mulling. Your eyes twinkle sadly. “We don’t really spend too much time together. And I’d like to.”

Bucky can feel heat creep awfully up his neck, a stabbing warmth in his chest. He needs to reject you right now.

You seem to read his mind, stepping backward and bumping into the counter. “You don’t have to—” You stumble over your feet in your efforts to give him space.

His hands shoot out to wrap around your forearms, pulling you upright. Your eyes are rounded, mouth still caught in an assurance, warm fingers twisted below his wrists to hook loosely on the hill of his pisiform.

He swallows, stepping back like your touch burned him. “No thanks.”

You frown, not wanting to push but feeling like you need to. You swallow the step he’d put between you. “Please? I promise I’ll make it fun. There are a lot of things there, maybe you could find Steve’s birthday gift.”

Bucky inhales shortly. “I got it already.”

He begins to sidestep you, a scorching buzzing he never realized was prickling beneath his skin finally beginning to ease. You grasp his arm and it peaks so high, he stops breathing for a second. The twinkle has come back, more melancholy than he remembered. Your lips pucker, eyebrows edging down. “Do you not like me?”

Bucky pauses, overwhelmed by the heat of your fingers. “What?”

Your teeth dig into your lip, thumb beginning to rap against the flat edge of his palm. He blinks. “You don’t seem to like me very much. Which is fine—I just… did I do something wrong?” Your voice closes on a mournful crest, features already sorry as your fingers continue their frantic dance on his skin. “I didn’t mean to.”

“No. Why would you think that?”

You frown. “You never talk to me unless you have to, you leave the room the moment I come in.”

“That’s not true.”

You cock your head at him, a little exasperated. “Bucky.”

“Fine.” He sighs, meeting eyes with your concern again. A beat passes. “Let’s go,” he says.

Your face lights up, although hesitant. “Really? Honest, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Really. Maybe I’ll get something else for Steve.”

You bounce gently on the balls of your feet, fingers looping tightly around his wrist. “Thank you. We’ll have fun, I promise.”

“Sure,” he says, rubbing the slope of his nose when you finally step back with a pretty smile. His wrist burns delightfully; he has to hold himself back from prodding at it with his fingers.

You stare at him for another second, eyes crinkling at their edges. “I’ll be right back. We’ll leave in ten minutes, is that okay?”

“Sure,” he repeats, watching you bound toward the elevator. Your lips are pinched tightly when you turn around, the bubbled highs of your cheeks betraying what you try to smother. 

When the elevator doors shut, he lets his eyes fall closed, dropping his head onto one hand. His pointer finger brushes against the skin you’d held, eliciting a lovely glittering where you’d rubbed the pads of your fingers.

His elbow bumps into something cold and fragile, which he looks down to see is your mug, quietly inched closer to him. Hesitantly, he loops a finger around the handle, lifting the smooth edge up to his mouth. You were right, the water is fresh and sweet.

He falls into the couch disappointedly to wait for you, letting his head tilt back and attention rest on the ceiling. His index strokes the handle with wobbly, hesitant lines, running over the movements of your own fingers in the bumps and ridges of the mug. Your ownership is painfully present, predictably foreign on Bucky’s tongue, yet not at all wrong where he has felt it most.

It’s not what Bucky expected.

He puts it down on the table, hoping the delicate circular teetering grounds him. It doesn’t.

-

You’re frantic when you push the door to your room open, entirely crammed with worries.

Your hair has refused to cooperate all morning, the shirt you’d pulled on has a tiny hole you hope Bucky didn’t notice, and your pants are a size too big, the stretchy bottom part of the left leg pulled up to the thick of your calf.

You try to remember whether or not you washed your nice jeans the day before, fingers deftly pushing away hangers and leaving only an ugly screeching sound that you can’t bother to notice. 

You don’t think Bucky likes you. In the decent amount of time you’d known him—a fraction of it with a word count—you had, at the very least, been reassured that he didn’t hate you. Bucky doesn’t seem to spend too much time hating in the icky, false sense of the word, not when he has so many possible receptors with real and raw reasoning.

You hold a shirt up to the light like it’ll help determine Bucky’s thoughts about it. Would he have any?

You shove the shirt back inside your closet and pull another off the hanger, stretching out the collar irresponsibly. Bucky seems to wear a lot of red. Is it because he likes it or has someone commented on how much it brings out his eyes?

You don’t think Bucky likes you. You’re determined to get him to.

He was wearing something red today. You pull on a pretty vermillion blouse with wide sleeves and a high neckline and try not to feel silly. Your foot taps nervously against the floor as you try to decide on earrings, taking a glance along the rows you have before you crouch down to pull on your shoes, browsing the image you’d caught in your mind. 

When you straighten, it feels as if entirely too much time has passed by, your head leady, vision thinned briefly. You decide on the Snoopy earrings you’d bought last week. Tiny, crescent-eyed Woodstock goes on your left ear and tiny, lovesick Snoopy goes on your right. He must know them, right?

You don’t look in the mirror before you leave, too confident that your reflection would send you tumbling back into your closet, slipping your choice off your earlobes. Your forefinger hooks on the bottom of your shirt, tugging down as you watch yourself in the closed doors of the elevator.

Slowly, you inhale. Exhale. Realize you’d closed your eyes and the doors are now open.

The pads of your fingers meet Snoopy’s small clay-lump-legs and you remember that you’re being ridiculous.

Calmer now, you prance over to Bucky, blinking at his shut eyes, body leant against the couch.

“Bucky?” you call. You bend at the waist, searching for a sign of life until your nose is very, very close to his. “Are you okay?” you whisper, unsure why.

Bucky startles anyway, meeting your fresher face. He has thoughts on the shirt.

He clears his throat. “Fine.”

You pull back, crossing your arms. “Did I make you wait long?” you stress, watching him get to his feet.

“No.”

You want to make a joke. You know what Sam would do—poke at his age, ask if the century was finally catching up. You contemplate it too long.

Bucky eyes the bag hanging from the crook of your elbow. You tilt it inconspicuously, flashing stupid buttons and silly pins. Bucky clears his throat. “Should we go?”

“Yes,” you say hurriedly, following after him as he heads to the elevator. It’s silent inside and all the way to the car, where you exchange a stilted smile for a glance when you plug in your phone with the address.

Your thigh shakes the entire ride, slowing momentarily for awkward, brief conversations when the silence gets too unbearable. You think about comfortable silence and how this is not it, icky regret crawling up your throat. You feel sticky and stupid.

“I like your earrings,” Bucky says unprompted. You’re too surprised to do much else than stare, thanking him after too long.

“You like Snoopy?”

He nods. You contemplate more questions, but he seems satisfied with his contribution.

You stare down at your bag the rest of the time, a finger tracing a big, glittery button from a goose race you never went to.

Bucky’s presence is too professional at the stands. He handles himself overly bodyguard-like around you, watching you pick things up with care and interact with vendors from just next to the tents. Rarely does he touch something himself.

You fiddle with a small notebook, catching his eye. You smile when he reads your mind, stepping over to your side to see over your shoulder. Half of his body is close enough to pull sparks from your opposite side. You try your best to concentrate.

“Steve,” you explain, twisting the little sketchbook around. He hums, the noise accompanied by a warm puff of air against the thin skin of your neck. You still completely, goosebumps rising immediately. You pray he doesn’t notice.

Of course Bucky does. He watches your chest still and can’t help the rise of the left edge of his lip. Experimentally, he blows a soft line along your neck.

You flinch, fingers going slack. Bucky reaches for the book before it can thump on the table, his eyes crinkled. You’re too distracted to notice the amusement on his face.

He hums. “That’s a good choice for Stevie.”

“Y-yeah.” You clear your throat, taking a step back but bumping into him. Your skin is delightfully warm even through his jacket, sharp tingles only tendered by your sweet chagrin.

Graciously, he steps aside, meeting your eyes and raising the book between his index and middle fingers. The buttons of the bag hanging off his wrist sparkle in the sunlight. He smiles, suddenly a lot less hesitant than this morning. “Found my present.”

You nod, leaving him to pay as you raise your hand to your collarbone, the pads of your fingers brushing over the goosebumps above the collar of your shirt.

You shiver again and wonder.

-

You’re anxious for more.

Bucky’s interactions with you are usually dismally brief. He says hi when you prompt him, returns tight smiles, and indulges your questions using as few words as possible. Last time, it was ten. The time before, five. Your peak is sixteen.

On the next movie night, you come downstairs half an hour before and claim a doughy two-person couch, sprawling a silky blanket over one side. You pop two bags of popcorn and stress that you made them too early, overcompensating with a variety of candy. It’s spread out with great care, the cushions adjusted, the furniture itself repositioned.

You sit on your side and pretend you’ve only just come when Sam heads into the living room, raising an eyebrow at you.

“What’s all this?” he asks, stealing a handful of popcorn. 

“Nothing,” you say, shifting as he pokes around your stash. Footsteps. “Go over there,”

“What?”

“Bucky won’t come over here if you’re standing there.”

Sam cocks his head. “Ohh, Bucky huh?”

“Go!” you urge, heat up to your ears when he satiates you, hands up in surrender as he walks away.

More Avengers filter in, at the very end Bucky. Your friends have decided to appease you today, occupying every space except the one by your side. Your leg bounces with anticipation.

Bucky looks at you, noticing everything you’ve done, and blinks away when you smile at him. Your shoulders sag, lips pursed achingly.

“You can sit here. If you want,” you say. “I got you some candy. I’ve seen you eating it before, and I thought you… you might like it.”

It’s a slim moment—but a moment nonetheless—before he answers. “Okay. Thank you. I’m gonna get a drink before the movie.”

“I’ll go with you,” you pipe up, a few of the others joining you to pour sodas and chips into bowls.

You’re reaching for a glass when you feel him behind you, stretching for another.

You shiver when you feel air against the nape of your neck, knee knocking loudly into the counter.

He’s away from you before you can process it was him, innocuously pulling open a drawer.

Everyone meets your eye questioningly. “You okay?” Natasha asks.

You nod, pupils flickering to Bucky, who would seem entirely innocent if his irises weren’t so glittered with mirth.

You frown at him, confused when he’s completely unchanged, simply walking beside you back to his seat.

You split your attention between the movie and Bucky’s face for the first hour, realizing you should never have let it stray when he reaches for his glass of water and brushes a very warm finger right below your jaw.

You stare at him perplexedly, his features outlined by the flickering light of the television.

“Butter,” he lies, shrugging. Then, he turns back to the movie and ignores you for the rest of the night. You can’t remember the name of the movie by the next day.

-

The round tip of your little finger aches with a small papercut.

The paperwork piled up at the edge of your desk mocks your wound, edged paper corners peeking out as if a warning.

You watch wine bubble, a fat drop beginning to edge closer to the crevice between nail and skin. Holding back an urge to shove your finger into your mouth, you clasp a tissue with your other hand, wrapping it tightly around your wounded finger.

You blow a gentle raspberry and lean back in your seat; a silent resignation: the paperwork wins.

Natasha meets your eye from the couch across the hall, appearing to read your mind in the sharp way she can do. She frowns, an exaggerated pull to her lips, falsely thinned eyes glaring. She crosses her arms and puffs her chest out, shaking her head in a distinct disappointment.

You stifle a laugh and present your injury to her.

Her lips part in overt understanding, nodding slowly. Poor baby, she mouths.

Poor baby, you agree, cradling your hand.

She laughs, standing up to walk toward you. When she gets to you, she picks up a pen off your desk, squinting at the words peeking out beneath the covers.

“This is from two months ago,” she says unhelpfully, tapping it with your pen.

“That’s not even the oldest one there,” you deplore, letting your head drop on your desk with a mournful sigh.

“Why do you insist on falling behind?” she tuts.

“I’m hurt!” you insist, pushing your finger toward her. She cocks her head at you but cradles your hand. “Every time I try, it’s like it fights back!”

“If you need help…” Natasha mutters something in Russian and brushes her lips against your pinky, making you smile.

You simper. “Did you just heal me?”

“No. I cursed you for being lazy.”

You frown, taking back your hand to hold it against your chest. “I’m good,” you say, responding to her earlier offer. You heave a big sigh. “Thank you, though. Evil woman.”

She smiles at you, shaking her head when she sees your opposite fingers wrapping around your injured one. “You like to suffer.”

“How dare you,” you mumble, urging another bloody bead to form.

“Deviant,” she claims, walking away.

You don’t look up to blow a raspberry at her, dragging your nail up your skin until a thicker drop forms.

It’s a fairly challenging game you have going on, making your bead grow while trying to keep it plump and steady on the tip of your little finger.

If you breathe a little too hard, it wobbles, and you clamp your lips closed, holding your breath and freezing entirely for a few seconds until it’s still again.

It’s a concentration game. And Bucky takes advantage of it.

You press the indent between your bones gently, immersed enough to only recognize his presence when he begins to speak.

“Don’t do that,” he condemns, suddenly right behind you. He must be bent over, lips a millimeter away from the curve of your neck for you to feel every intricate vibration of each word he says. You flinch immediately, an already hot cheekbone bumping against his chin.

When you catch sight of him, he’s already straightened, perfectly calm.

“What?” you croak, warm fingers against the warmer skin below your earlobe.

“You cut yourself,” he says.

“Uh huh.”

“Why are you making it worse?”

“I… I’m not.”

His face stains only lightly in dissent, dissolving like a single droplet of color in an ocean of clear.

He doesn’t respond audibly, only shrugging and walking away. You only realize he’d pressed a clean, colorful band-aid on your desk after he’s out of the office.

There’s a streak of cherry red along your finger when you finally look down, only observing its head create a fat scarlet stain on your sleeve. You curse Bucky and the goosebumps still high on your skin.

-

You suspect Bucky to be somewhat of a sadist.

He doesn’t seem to mind the effect he’s carved into you, nearly reveling in it as if your embarrassment were some sort of thrill. You find yourself shivering prematurely the moment he steps foot in a room, the sight of him accompanied by the imminent line of ice along sensitive skin.

He’ll embarrass you wherever. Make you choke on your tea right before a meeting, burn yourself on a fresh tray of cookies, trip over shoes, and crash into walls. And he’ll watch you, lousily stifling a smile before tending to whatever he’d caused as if he wasn’t at fault for it.

Guiltily, you yearn for the roles to reverse. Or for yours to lessen. 

Slumped on the couch in the living room with a bowl of oily popcorn, you contemplate your situation with Snoopy.

All you had wanted was a sign further than acknowledgement. Something realer than his bitter, thin smile, maybe one of the laughs you’d been so eager to hear in real life. At the most, a purposeful touch; still kind, still real, probably brief. But what you’ve gotten surpasses what you’d initially desired in delightfully awful ways.

When you think about it, your situation doesn’t seem too fat with issue. You can’t recall a substantial conversation with Bucky, but you can remember with perfect clarity how warm his lips are from a millimeter away. It brings up the contemplation on whether or not it’s an actual issue to begin with.

You’re tempted to ignore it. You’re very, very tempted to let him continue his cruel attentions and let yourself become further putty in his presence.

What would you even do? You can’t see yourself pulling him forward by the collar—to make a point, of course, not to brush your fingers against his own neck to see him shudder—to look him in the eyes while telling him that you know what he’s doing. Especially when you don’t. Primarily when you aren’t sure what the point of the conversation would be—to tell him to stop? You aren’t sure you want him to.

It’s easier to push it aside and let him torture you. Maybe you’ll become impervious to Bucky Barnes’ bullying.

You push yourself straighter and let your head fall back, listening to Charlie Brown’s mournful voiceover.

“What if everyone was like you? What if we all ran away from our problems? Huh? What then? What if everyone in the whole world suddenly decided to run away from his problems?”

Your eyes pop open with a startled frown, watching his cartoon throw his little arms up and sigh.

Linus appears, but you don’t listen to his words, letting the fleshy part of your palm support your chin. The pads of your fingers float up to the space behind your ears, and you feel yourself flush immediately with recognition. Bucky is a sadist, sure. But you’re a masochist. 

With a dejected huff, you let your hands drop to the popcorn. 

It’s not even a full episode past when something shifts. You frown, covertly examining your surroundings with edged brows.

Two hands form deep clefts in cushions on either side of you, body heat sticky against the skin it can touch.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asks quietly, lips so close to your ear you can feel the echo of their movements. His breath prickles your neck.

“Um…” You struggle to respond, your tongue suddenly too dry. In the background, Lucy shouts something. It sends the dumbest feeling into your chest. Charlie Brown is right.

You gather up all the courage inside of you, rolling it up into the tightest and biggest little ball you can, and snap your neck to the side, catching his gaze before he can move in surprise.

You’re closer than you thought you’d be. You can see all the pretty little details of his face, the way his pupils eat the lovely blue of his irises and how high his Adam's apple bobs.

“What’s wrong?” you echo gently, sweetly mocking.

He stammers, charcoal lashes fluttering.

You hum, examining his face one last time before hopping off the couch to go to the kitchen, leaving him slumped over the couch, dazed.