#they got better shit to do than worry about crusty males

[everythingzelda]

I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate how the Gerudo have been presented as a group of lovesick women and their goal is to snag a man in botw/totk. A society built by women, for women and somehow still centered around men????????? Take me back to OOT/MM where they dropped from the ceiling to kill Link’s ass on sight for being in their fortress.

[malefi-andromeda]

Long Winding Road Stay Strapped My Dude

By: Astoria Cathryn Andromeda

Alrighty, this is a long one boys. So I touched briefly on this in my Welcome to Literally Everything post. No worries I'll recap you, so you don't have to switch back and forth. I just diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, and then ADHD when I was 18 years old, and even then I had to fight for it after countless hours of research. See, there seems to be a wee bit of misogyny in the neurodiverse diagnoses. When I say a wee bit, I mean that scientists used to think that only boy could be autistic or ADHD. They only studied autism in males. Fortunately, nowadays we know that girls can be autistic and/or ADHD, but we present the traits differently than boys, and a lot of our traits are played off due to gender roles in society. For example, being overly talkative in girls is called chatty, whereas boys who can't sit still are sent off for testing immediately. This also causes problems for the boys, because little Johnny gets put on Adderall at the ripe age of 6 years old, just because he can't sit still for 8 hours straight, which by the way should not be expected of any elementary school kid, By the time, he's 25 he's 1) completely dependent on amphetamines 2) his body will stop producing dopamine due to being on the medication for so long. Nicht Gut. Generally, boys who are on the spectrum get picked out earlier due to late speaking, or lack of social skills. This is the one thing that girls happen to do better than boys. Girls are good at masking, which is basically taking social traits, phrases, personalities, demeanor, and copying them. In public, they put on a mask and at home, they have a meltdown. Girls are still not picked up as being on the spectrum, because shyness is called being 'ladylike' and 'dainty', and having a meltdown is just because :( girls are oh-so emotional, boohoo. Anyways tons of women do not get diagnosed with autism until they are well into their adulthood, I actually can be considered lucky to have technically still been a teenager when we finally got all the pieces together.

Alright, let's start with I don't know me as a baby. I did not speak until I was 2 years old, and then it was immediately full sentences from then on. I didn't do the babbling thing, which I don't know how impactful that really is to the topic. I was a very shy little girl. I was teeny tiny, we didn't know I if I was going to make it to 5 feet tall until I had a big growth spurt in 7th grade. I am 5'2 now and definitely done growing in case you were wondering, so not that short anymore. I did not like talking to adults, especially strangers, especially men. I did not look anyone in the face, and I will always hide behind my parent's legs when they would try to introduce me to people. I am an only child, and I spent a lot of time entertaining myself. I always had seasonal affective disorder, where my grades would dip in the winter. My parents knew I had a timer, they had 45 minutes from the moment they stepped into a restaurant before I would start breaking down. If I got off schedule as a toddler in any form, it was a catastrophe. Or this is what my parents and family tell me. I didn't really notice. I did not like being out in public a lot, I was a very picky eater, and I was extremely hyper. I was a very eccentric child, I only had 1-2 close friends and they were always a very well-liked outgoing girl who I just followed around. Looking back, I don't know how we missed it. I was shy because I didn't understand how social interactions worked, I was anxious about it because I didn't understand, I had sensory overloads, routines, and a very bland diet with a safe food which was ketchup. I put that shit on literally everything, eas, apples, mac and cheese, pizza, all meat, anything something forced me to eat that I did not like. But because I could sit still in class, and because I could zone out and daydream all day through school and still make A's nobody ever flagged me for anything and how I was supposed to know that not everybody just copied other people, scripted things before they talked, and could never pay attention. My mom always required me to be in a sport, and I was a gymnast and a swimmer for a long time, two very high-intensity sports, to help lower my energy levels, and because my mom has mild depression and she knows that exercise does help. Skip to middle school, my mom tells me I'm being bullied at church. It's not that I wasn't observing my surroundings I knew I was being excluded, but I didn't understand vindictive behavior, I thought it was my fault. I had zero friends in 8th grade until I sat down next to a random acqutaince I had gone to school with since I was 4 and the same gymnastics place. Then we were immediately attached at the hip after that. She is my best friend due this day and definitely got me through high school. Led me through so many social situations without either of us knowing. I had a very close friendgroup in highschool, all of them were on the drumline which I met through my best friend, and my first boyfriend was my best friend's neighbor. I ended up playing bass guitar for my high school's indoor drumline, and it was the best experience ever. I love my friends, but I had really bad depression when I was 15-now:) jk It's better. I didn't really realize I was depressed, I just didn't want to go to school, or swim practice, or do anything so of course, my mom noticed, and then once it was pointed out to me it got worse. My severe anxiety spiraled with my depression. Senior year of high school, my boyfriend and I were like toxic star crossed lovers, hurting each other over and over again without meaning to. My friends and I were self harming, all my close friends gad some demon going on. I finally decided to try therapy again after the disaster of being forced to go when I was 15 and the lady told me I wasn't depressed because I had a boyfriend and good grades. It helped a bit, I was able to get my panic attacks under control. Then I went away to college and stayed dating my senior high school boyfriend, we were just up and down as always, but with slightly better communication. My freshman year of college I joined a fraternity, a research lab, and my first hs boyfriend/ex/best friend and I went to a Christian campus place. By second semester, I had a lot of people who knew me and talked to me, but I didn't have any close friends, and even less close friends who were girls. All my close friends who were girls were at another college. My parents were worried about me, so they made me rush a sorority, which I knew was never my scene, but my parents made me join and I found a few girls I liked. Soon I was going to 6 classes, fraternity chapter, research lab meetings, christain crash group meetings, soriorty pledge meetings all on every Tuesday. I was different person at each of these events and wore a different mask. I was having what I know now were autistic burnout meltdowns every single day on the phone in my crusty dorm's stairwell. It was not cute. His mental health had always been bad too. Finally I decide I need to try a psychatrist and go back to therapy, and then he broke up with me. Then I made my first close friend, a guy who was in 3 of classes, and I took him to my fraternity's formal, and then coronavirus happened.  Rona kinda saved my grades, and mental health by sending us home event though it did suck. I got on anti-anxiety meds and things went up, but I was still having what I thought were panic attacks, they were austistic meltdowns. My psychiatrist, he's kinda an asshole, he diagnosed me with Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. I'll insert definition here: (OCPD) is a personality disorder that's characterized by extreme perfectionism, order, and neatness. People with OCPD will also feel a severe need to impose their own standards on their outside environment.> Basically hr told me I had rules for everything like how everyone drives on the right side of the road, but nobodythinks about it andwhen I broke one of my rules I got depressed, and when wasn't perfect I got depressed, and when I made an A I was relieved not proud. The diagnosis seemed to fit really well, and my therapist and I started working finding my rules, and getting rid of the bad ones, and making the others less harsh. I had thought every once and in a while in my life when I was really upset, what if I'm on the spectrum, because I just felt so hopeless for social interactions and I didn't understand. I always felt like I was a very specific person, but after the ocpd I started thinking more and more, and I saw a tik tok of a girl with lae diagnosed autism basically describing me and ranting about the misogyny. I did more research and I decide, yea I'mm gonna bring it up to mypsychatrist well he's a dick, so he was like um you don't act like sheldon cooper from the Big Bang theory,and I was like wellI just I have always thought I might have adhd like be neureodiverse, and he was like your grade point average in hs was a 97.8%, you're not adhd. I immediately cried, because I can't handle when anyone says anything in a even a slightest stringent tone. I'm baby, I know lmao. It made me angry though because I felt like he just brushed away all of my struggles I had in my whole life. I spent hours researching and typed up a 47 page document on evidence for why I was on the spectrum, and had my parents help will some of checklists to make sure I was getting outside perspectives. I rally my parents to be my back up and next psychiatrist appointment we actually talk about it and he asked my parents questions about when I was young and such and finally he was okay you're on the spectrum. I felt so validated and like I could start being myself. I slowly got more and more confident, changed my style of clothing, and researched more about adhd pushed to be tested, and oh look at that I also have ADHD. So basically discourse: "I feel like as a child I coded a machine to do life for me so I didn’t get bothered except I didn’t know about the machine I thought i was the machine and now I’ve become self aware and I have to learn how to read the code and rewrite the code because it’s dysfunctional because I’m not functioning well as a human being. I was really shy as a child. I would turn beat red when people talked to me or looked at me so I think I started cookie cutting situations and using them over and over again because they worked until I accidentally hard wired these expansion rules and expectations for myself. I didn’t may attention is class ever I just day dreamed and if I got good grades i wouldn’t be bothered i could just stay in my head and if I did my sport well my parents didn’t bother me. I was never asked if I did my homework I just did it so I wouldn’t be asked and have to deal with that situation. I would cookie cutter situations in class that would draw the least attention to myself.

I feel like i don’t have friends I just fulfill the expectation like a side quest on video games" I wrote this down pre autism confirmation when i just thought I had ocpd. Now I don't directly identify with ocpd, but I definitely think I developed that personality disorder a bit from living with undiagnosed autism. I am linking below the very informative Tik Toks by the lovely Paige on autism in girls. The imposter syndrome one really hit home. I had had so many panic attacks about thinking I tricked people into being my friend, or thinking I was smart.

I highly suggest watching these short tik toks, you'll definitely learn something

https://vm.tiktok.com/wVvcYA/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqRRUf/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnqhvX/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqeyYg/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnoE7u/

https://vm.tiktok.com/Kas6gB/

https://vm.tiktok.com/owM9hs/

Imposter syndrome

I am also linking an article about Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory and Autism that explains why my psychiatrist was wrong, and also I am a girl and the spectrum is called a spectrum because it's a fucking spectrum no two autistic people are exactly the same it's like a color wheel.

http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/problem-sheldon-cooper-and-cute-autism-387783

Here is a fun comic about the spectrum and how to view it.

https://the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

I am still learning about myself, and how to be me, and how to be myself but without breaking bad social rules. It's quite humorous though because I'll learn something is related to autism and I'm like oh shit again, like still, like, we're still discovering things.

"Tu ne me manques pas"

Bis später,

Astoria.

[solaneceae]

Stars

Dave wakes up in the jungle. AU where Mateo got out of the plane with the other two, because frick u QCODE my boy deserves better than this and i will NOT accept he’s dead until i see a body-

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21035054/chapters/50876287

---------------

A comforting warmth surrounding him. Something soft cushioning his oh-so heavy body. An earthy, grassy scent filling up his nostrils.

Dave blinked into awareness slowly, like he was being dragged out of a quagmire. He was greeted with mostly darkness, though he could start to make out a mess of intertwined wood and large, glossy leaves above him. He was laying on his back on a mass of long, lush grass, his face and fingertips tingling with lingering sleep, in the very same position he’d fallen asleep the previous… evening?

For a second he felt disoriented, a jolt of panic making his breath hitch; but then he remembered.

They had made it. All three of them. They’d finally found the Whale, and those strange tribesmen, the Morandi.

For now at least, they were safe.

“Dave? Holy shit, you’re awake!”

Dave rolled his head to the side; Mateo was sitting next to him, his back propped against one of the support beams of the shelter. He felt his heart swell at the sight; Mateo was here. He wasn’t alone.

He noticed his friend’s arm had been dressed in clean, off-white bandages, reminding the smaller man of the dozen or so cuts he’d caught sight of back on the boat, and he was hit with a rush of pride and admiration -and only the slightest pang of guilt and worry- for his long-time partner; god, Mateo really had gone above and beyond to fly them all the way here. The tall male definitely looked better than he had back then, which Dave was grateful for.

He rubbed his eyes, trying to clear out his vision; ew, crusty. “ ‘teo… where’s Linda?”

“She’s fine, woke up a lil’ while ago. Went to talk to the old man, try to get some more answers out of him. How you feelin’?

Dave considered the question silently, assessing his current state. “Mmh. Sluggish. Like my body’s made of lead. And… kinda loopy. What time is it?”

“Dunno. Late. Early. My phone and watch died back in the plane.”

Mateo looked up; as he followed his friend’s gaze, Dave noticed an opening in the roof of the shelter, letting in pale rays of moonlight. The night sky was a pitch black, an inky darkness home to hundreds and hundreds of stars. They ranged from pale yellow to bluish white, shining bright and strong and unperturbed by any light pollution; a far cry from the California sky the night guard was so accustomed to.

“ ‘bout one or two in the morning maybe?” Mateo mused aloud, stirring him out of his reverie. Dave sighed; the sun had been setting when they’d conked out. “Shit. No wonder I’m still tired.”

“Dude. It’s Sunday. We slept through last night and the whole day after that.”

Dave’s eyes widened in shock.“Wh- What? We’ve been asleep for more than a day? How?!”

“After three days without any shut-eye it ain’t that surprisin’ to me,” Mateo shrugged. “Also Linda said somethin’ about the meds we took messing with our brain or some shit?”

Dave groaned, trying to pull himself up into a sitting position; but he was struck by a sudden dizziness and his trembling arms buckled under his own weight.

“Wow, hey!” Mateo caught him before his back could hit the ground, gently supporting his head to lay it down in his own lap. “Don’t move too fast. You haven’t eaten anything since we left California, if you try and get up you’re just gonna pass out again.”

Ah. That would explain the slight nausea and steady rocking of the ground under him. The former night guard breathed in slowly, letting the sudden discomfort fade before gratefully peering up at Mateo. “Sorry…were you waiting for me?”

“Duh. Gotta watch over our local dream warrior, right?”

Dave groaned at that, hiding his face in his hands. “Oh my god, don’t.”

“What? It’s true, isn’t it? Those guys over there,” the latino gestured at the other side of the clearing, where a few tribesmen were conversing quietly, “said they’d been waiting for you. Specifically you, Dave. I mean shit, there’s obviously something going on with you.”

“No there isn’t! Why the fuck would it?”

“Oh, I can think of a few reasons. You survived after falling asleep, twice.”

“You woke me up the first time-”

“You,” Mateo continued, all but ignoring Dave’s protests, “had scars all over your chest, and now they’re gone. That’s not a thing that happens, scars don’t just magic out of existence.” He waved his hands around in bewilderment. “And to top it all off you went all oracle on us, right before this shitshow went down. You told us about the whale, you told us where we needed to go!”

Dave shook his head in denial. His hair rubbed against the fabric of Mateo’s pant leg. “Wasn’t me. The old man did it. Robbie was the one who came into my dreams. I would’ve-”

His breath hitched. He remembered the torture he went through in that desert. The thirst. The despair. The insanity. “I- I would’ve died like everyone else if he hadn’t come.”

Mateo sighed. “Maybe. But he came to you, Dave. Out of the millions of people who’d been asleep at the time, you were the only one who saw him.”

A second of silence. Dave slid his hands down his face, peering up at his friend with confusion. “How do you know this?”

“Robbie told us. Me and Linda.” Mateo said, looking down at him with a curious look on his face. It looked suspiciously like awe.

Dave hated that look. It made him feel like the world was pressing down on his ribcage.

“He said… something about reaching out. Spreading the warning to the world.” Mateo continued, unaware of his partner’s inner turmoil. “Nobody outside the tribe responded, Dave. Except you.”

He let Mateo’s words sink in for a few seconds, his face twisting into a sorrowful grimace. The implications of those words were far too daunting, too terrifying to consider. He didn’t want this. He never wanted this. He didn’t need supernatural bullshit sprinkled on top of the already massive pile of issues that was his life.

“Listen…” he breathed out, his baritone on the verge of breaking, “I… I know, okay? I’m not an idiot. I know I’m… involved in this mess, for some fucking reason.”

He grabbed Mateo’s sleeve, something desperate flickering in his warm brown eyes. “I know I’m probably about to- to learn some stuff here. About myself. And that shit… that shit’s terrifying. So…”

Mateo stayed silent, attentive. Dave was grateful for that.

“So…” he took a deep breath. “Can we hold off on that? Can I just be a normal dude for just a little longer? Just Dave, local insomniac and night guard at DeckSalont. That’s me. Just your friend. Please?”

For a few seconds, only the sound of the wind blowing through the jungle answered him. Then Mateo rolled his eyes with a huff.

“Okay. Okay, Davie. I gotcha.” the latino relented, gently patting the smaller man’s hair draped on his thigh. “Linda and the old guy should come back soon anyway. They’ll be glad to see you’re up, they were getting worried.

“What about you?”

“What?”

“How are you taking all this? This whole time you and Linda have been worrying about me, but what about you?

Mateo blinked, then snorted humorlessly. “Man, I don’t even know anymore.” He shook his head, eyes clouding over in confusion. “Everything feels so… unreal. I guess it didn’t really sink in yet.”

Dave felt a pang of sympathy for his friend; he remembered the latino’s worried glances at his phone back in Cali. His dismissive attitude when Dave had asked about his family.

Everyone’s dead, Dave thought to himself, testing out the concept in his mind. Everyone’s dead. How could the human mind comprehend this without breaking? Were they even capable of truly comprehending that the three of them, save for the strange tribe that had taken them in, were probably the last living people on Earth?

“Mateo… I’m so sorry.” he said quietly, peering up at the taller male. Mateo Leon, veteran, pilot, and god damn hero for flying them all the way here. His best friend, and partner.

Dave’s chest seized; he was starting to understand how precious he and Linda were to him. Without them, he’d be completely and utterly alone, even among the tribesmen scattered in the jungle.

Mateo waved him off. “Don’t be. We all lost a lot these past few days, if not everything.” He chuckled, rubbing his face in his hands. “S’all too fucked up, we're too fucked up at this point.”

Linda’s face came to the forefront of Dave’s mind. Her striking green eyes, the way her nose would scrunch up whenever she was annoyed. Her airy laughter. Her blinding smile.

He shook his head, biting back a mournful sigh. “I know. Still, you’re my friend, I care about you. I- fuck man, I don’t wanna lose you too.”

“You won’t!” Mateo asserted, flashing him a cocky smile. “You won’t, y’hear me? I’m a vet, I can deal with some tough shit. Those spirit things? Let ‘em come at us, I’ll fuck ‘em up.”

Dave blinked, taken aback by the sudden mood whiplash. Then let out a chuckle, almost immediately followed by a yawn. Jesus, he still felt drowsy. How was he still drowsy?

“Dude, are you serious. Wasn’t a whole day enough?” his partner asked him incredulously.

Dave shifted into a more comfortable position, the edge of his vision blurring and darkening every second that passed. “Just…” he mumbled, “You’re fuckin’ comfy, okay? Anyone ever told you that?”

Mateo let out a fake, overdramatic sigh. “Fine then, you lazy fuck. Ya can snooze a lil’ bit more. But I’m waking you up when the others come back, got it? Linda said she’d change our bandages, and you need some food in you. Like, badly.”

Dave hummed noncommittally, eyelids already drooping close. He let out a relieved sigh as he curled up against his friend, relishing in the warm feeling of Mateo’s thigh under his head and his hand on his shoulder. “Mh. Thanks, buddy.” he murmured drowsily, before letting sleep overtake him once more.

Just a little longer. Let things be normal again. For just a little longer.

-------

thanks @believeinasmilinggodtoday for the prompt! i kinda deviated from it, but it helped me get it out :D @caustic-synishade @teosbc @thepurple-n @shrinkthisviolet @mother-dweller

[withasideofeggsy]

Promises :: Park Jimin :: 3

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4,

Word count: 1.7K

Warning: ANGST, a little bit of self loathing, coarse language, car accident, death of family (click continue reading for potentially triggering subject)

This is shit and extremely short. I’m so sorry LOL. I haven’t updated in so long I’m so crusty and rusty.

-

I finally was at peace.

I was bundled up in fluffy blankets with the fuzziest pair of socks I owned as I lean lazily against Jungkook on his bed. I yawn tossing the controller to the feet of the mattress, “Ah Jungkook you keep losing I don’t wanna play against you anymore.”

He groans tossing his controller near mine as well, “I don’t understand how you got better than me considering that I taught you how to play.”

I contort my face to flash him an unflattering expression before flopping onto my back, “This is one thing that I am better at than you, just let me have this won’t you?”

Jungkook scoffs flopping down beside me, “I’m exhausted, I’m gonna take a nap,” he announces.

I hum in understanding, “Of course you will need to rest after I practically creamed you in the game!” I laughed causing him to let out an adorable whine.

As I lay in the soft mattress all warm and snuggled up beside the younger male I started to drift off as well.

SLAM

“Hey Jungkook, can I borrow-”

I jolt awake partially delirious as I squint towards the creak in the door. Jimin.

“Oh…you’re here too.”

“Yeah…” I mumble rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

Jungkook yawns as he pushes himself up on his elbows, “What is it hyung?”

Jimin shakes his head causing his fluffy blush coloured hair to sway, “Never mind that, why are you two sleeping together?”

“Huh? We’re just taking a nap,” Jungkook says with a cocked brow.

I wasn’t expecting this reaction from the usually happy-go-lucky Jimin but he clicks his tongue with a disgusted scoff. I knit my brows together at his reaction.

Jimin laughs without a single strand of humour in his tone, “Are you seriously that low? Hitting on a kid because I dumped you?”

My heart dropped to my stomach at his harsh words, something that was completely new to me. I swallow thickly as I feel my hands start to cramp up, “E-Excuse me?”

“Hyung!” Jungkook shouts jumping up from the bed to approach the shorter male, “You do not talk to (Y/N) noona like that. Also I’m not a kid nor was she ‘hitting’ on me.”

Jimin combs his hair back with his fingers. I could feel the irritation rolling off his shoulders as I watch his exposed eyebrows fuse together. “I take that back, I can’t believe you are hitting on her. You always have to copy me huh?”

Jungkook sighs evidently trying to hold back his growing irritation from the same insult he never can go a day without hearing. I roll my eyes at Jimin’s childish behaviour, “What do you want Jimin?”

“For you to move out,” he flatly answers, “I can’t watch you pursue my brothers,” he adds as he crosses his arms over his chest.

Even though I was annoyed at Jimin I couldn’t help the little giggle that escapes, “I’m not.”

Jimin sighs, “Jungkook and you, it’s so obvious. You probably always liked him even when you were dating me.”

I laugh shaking my head, “I see Jungkook nothing more than a little brother and you know that Jimin.”

Jungkook nods, “I think you are blinded by anger hyung. You know I love noona but not like that.”

A little giggle rips through Jimin’s throat making him look utterly hysterical. He throws his head back with a hand cupped over his face, “Go on! Explain! Because I don’t know!”

“Okay fine, I’m miserable and I still love you. Does that satisfy you now?” I lock my gaze onto Jimin’s unwavering ice-cold eyes.

He doesn’t say anything but immediately all the anger washes away and his features grow soft again. The sudden out of character hostility vanishes as fast as it came. If I wasn’t so hurt by his words and the way he looked at me with complete disgust I would’ve thought it never happened. But the dull ache in my chest was too real. Jimin doesn’t love me the way I love him anymore.

“I’ll move out by tomorrow okay?” I softly explain, tired, so tired to fight for my right to stay. I wouldn’t consider it defeat, I just didn’t see the point in trying to stay in his life when I clearly didn’t belong in it.

Jimin swallows thickly. I watch him carefully as his hand clenches and his eyes dart about the floor as if he’s looking for words to say. “I…” his voice cracks, “Soo Young actually wants to stay the night here…it’s going to thunderstorm tonight and she doesn’t like them. I – I don’t want her to be scared alone or feel uncomfortable with you here.” His large brown doe eyes locks onto mine before he lowers his gaze to his feet once again, “Sorry…”

“It’s okay!” I smile.

It’s not.

“I’ll pack up right now. Don’t worry I’ll be fast just give me ten minutes.” Words are spewing out like my brain is on autopilot. I couldn’t hear Jungkook’s protests as the deafening ringing sound echoes in my head. My body moves on its own accord as I stumble past Jimin to his room to throw in whatever article of clothing my hand snatches into my duffle bag. Out of haste with the race against my rising anxiety I bump into the last person I wanted to see as I exit the room.

“(Y/N),” Jimin softly speaks, “I’m sorry about what I said. And I’m sorry about all this…it’s just that it makes me so angry that when I saw you with Jungkook. I don’t know what gotten into me.”

I close my eyes and counted to five before I could look at him in the eye, but I couldn’t muster up any words to reassure him that his words didn’t hurt. I wanted to tell him that I was scared of the storm tonight too. I wanted to tell him that this storm between us scares me the most and I just need him to hold me tight and say that this was all some cruel payback joke for eating his leftovers last week. But I knew all too well that it’s over. Any false hope that the feelings he harbours for me went out the door the moment he looked at me with those eyes that were filled to the brim with hatred.

I couldn’t find a reply for Jimin in my jumbled brain before Jungkook rushes down the hallway with his own haphazardly zipped duffle bag swinging by his side with a shirt still hanging out the flap. The wide panic in his eyes from the thought of me leaving the apartment for good was clear as day in his innocent eyes.

I hold up my hand to stop him in his tracks, “Jungkook, I need you to stay here.”

“But…you’re scared of thunderstorms too,” he answers simply.

“There’s scarier things out there than thunderstorms, Jungkook. I’ll be okay.”

Like your entire world falling apart at your feet.

“It’s dark out. It isn’t safe,” he argues on.

“I’ll be okay.”

I think I’m saying that phrase too much. I’ll be okay. Maybe my brain subconsciously thinks that if I keep reciting those words I would actually believe it.

I cast a final look at Jimin. I muster up a small smile as I wave my hand, “Good night.”

I feel a pang of guilt in my heart as I take a final look at Jungkook. I didn’t want to be alone, I wanted to be with my little brother. But for some reason I didn’t want Jimin to be upset over the fact that I find comfort in Jungkook. It was stupid that I still cared about Jimin’s immature act of jealousy when all he does was cause my heart to ache. I guess he had me wrapped around his finger more than I ever realized.

“She’s right,” a quite meek voice broke the silence as I slipped on my boots, “thunder isn’t so scary…I can go home Jiminnie. She can stay.”

“Don’t speak nonsense Soo Young, you told me how terrified you were earlier today! I’ll protect you don’t worry.”

I look up from my partially laced shoes to see the lucky woman who swept Jimin off his feet. Her face shined bright at his words and she gave him a smile that was as beautiful as his own. He was right, they were perfect for each other. She nestled perfectly in his chest as he pulls her tight. I stood there watching them like an idiot until they pull apart to awkwardly look back at me. I open my mouth but my throat was too dry. I felt like I was suffocating on sand. I look at her to Jimin’s bashful pink dusted face. An embarrassing strangled noise surfaced in my throat causing my cheeks to flush with warmth, dipping my head in apology I fumble with the doorknob in a haste to escape with the little dignity I had left.

That night I huddled in a little ball of blankets in a run down motel that I settled for to escape the pouring rain. With hands clamped over my ears I rock myself as tears streamed down my cheek to the dampened pillow.

I really hated the thunder.

I screamed.

Jimin shot awake beside me.

“What’s wrong?!”

I shake my head as hot tears bubble over.

The heart monitor erratically spiking at the sudden panic that washed over my body due to the distant rumble. Jimin slips from the plastic chair and into the small reclined hospital bed. He pulls me tightly into his chest as I continued to sob.

“You don’t have to be afraid! I promise to protect you, (Y/N).”

That was seven years ago.

Seven years has past since I lost my parents in a car crash due to an extremely bad storm. I remember loud rumbles before a louder blaring sounded and I watched from the back seat as a bright light blinded me in the eyes. I found myself laying on my side as warmth trickled down my temple. Darkness consumed me and the last thing I heard before slipping into unconsciousness was the rumble of thunder.

“I promise to hold you tight during every storm so you know that you aren’t alone.”

Thank you for those seven years of comfort.

I cried myself to sleep just like that night at the hospital. The only difference being that Jimin wasn’t by my side to hold me tight.

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.3

Sharks or whales?

  Ch.3 

Sharks or Whales is not a stupid question 

Bakugou pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●

"I noticed it, you aren't slick katsu!"

"The fuck? Noticed what!"

"You know what, how could you"

"WOULD YOU STOP CRYING ITS ANNOYING AS FUCK"

"you don't even tell me you love me, but you can do that"

"The fuck...we only started dating like a week ago"

"Yea but- but- i"

"You what? Huh? Tell me what your talking about or get out of my face"

God, I really need to stop making impulse decisiones. I could just keep fighting with her though...she is always hotter when she is angry. That's how this all started in the first place, at that damn sports festival. Why did I have to find it so hot? 

Fucking occhaco, are you really only my type when your in battle? 

"Just shut up okay." 

"Wh-"

I made myself quick to press my lips to hers and when she gasped I skipped my tongues in too. I wanted to be slow and sensual, even with tongue, but I couldn't. The slower I kiss her the more I remember how much I am not right for her. How she is feeling something but I can't feel it anymore. I skipped my hand behind her back and drew our lower bodies closer together. 

At least occhaco is a good kisser. I bet that stalker bitch from earlier isn't. I bet she is crusty and musty and fucl she was hot though. No. She is weird, she probably got in here because of her mom so she is spoiled. What a fucking princess. 

All of a sudden chaco trips on something and is pulled away from the kiss she falls backwards and landed flat on her ass. It takes some work not to laugh but whoever did that is going to die. Even if I wasn't really enjoying myself there, I could've been. They wouldn't know. 

I look down at my girlfriend in shock. What catches my eye first, though, is something wrapped around her ankle. I bent down to see what it was. I quickly got confused because she had a dead vine wrapped half way up her call and an equally dead rose on the end of it. 

"What the fuck"

I look back up to see the stalker doing her own thing and talking with shitty hair and a dulce face. It has to be her, no one else has this quirk. I don't know her quirk, but nobody else would've done this. Fucking wierdo. 

I start walking across the classroom to where she is sitting on top of her desk, manspreading and laughing with my extras. 

"No, I'm a serious shark or whale?" Y/n asks with the most serious face I've ever seen.

"Uhm sharks, duh"

"Why though?" 

"Sharks have cool sharp teeth and they move super fast" 

"Everyone says that, but think about this...whales are so big and fat and they dont even care, they are just fucking bosses, being slow as shit and still monchin on krill and small animals, they dont even have to fight or anything"

"I-y/n you-"

"No, imagine you could just walk around with your mouth open and food would just go in. "

"Oh my god, she is right," dunce face made a stupid look of awe at the girl. 

I wanted to snap her for fucking doing that to occhaco...but for a second I was actually distracted by how she was right about shitty whales. Fucking wierdo, though.

"Oi, stalker bitch" 

I could tell she was a creep by how fast her eyes lit up after I yelled at her. Who does she think she is? She likes it when i'm mad or something? 

"Me!? Yes sir, what do you need?" She hopped off of her desk and practically bounced over to me. 

"What the fuck was that, you shitty stalker?" I spoke darkly and pointed to where me and my fucking...girlfriend had been kissing. 

"What do you mean?" She asked, looking at me with a serious face. 

"That fuckong stunt you just pulled with the fucking flower," I hissed leaning down as I yelled at her. 

"Oh, I was jealous." She said once again completely seriously,  but she had a bright smile on her face. Why is she being so straightforward, has she never met a guy before? Half the girls in this school crush on me, obviously, but they wouldnt dare say dumb shit like that to me. 

"THE FUCK" 

"I saw you kissing your girlfriend, and it made me get this feeling like i wanted you to not do that...I mean, are you dense, never been jealous before? Or do you not know what it means..."

"I KNOW WHAT IT FUCKING MEANS, BITCH! BUT YOU DONT FUCKING KNOW ME, BACK OFF!"

"But..." she looked at the floor again, I swear if she fucking cries I will throw her. 

Her aura went 360 and for some reason I got a shitty feeling in my chest, but it was moving lower...I think. Was I horny right now? What the fuck, no. 

Her head came back up and she was smirking, I wonder if this is something she got from her mom...

Those e/c eyes met with mine holding an erotic feeling that shot down my whole body. Her face was so fucking pretty right now, for no good reason and she fully lifted to peer up at me. It was much too effective in turning me on, since I was already leaning towards her a bit in my anger.

I grosled at the feeling, and then she rose her finger to point at me, just like fucking lunch time. She pressed it to my chest making me want to hit it away, but for some reason I waited to see what she would say. 

"I only really came to see you..." she spoke in a ridiculously seductive tone but at the same time...a whisper. 

"W-"

"Shh" her finger was brought off of my chest and pressed to my lips in a huh motion. 

"Don't worry boom boom, I know I don't know you but if you would enlighten me im sure I could understand you a bit better...I only have one question..."

"SPIT IT OUT YOU SHITTY STALKER!"

as soon as i yelled her finger retracted and her face returned to an innocent smile. Why does this bitch have so many faces? She looked way to excited for her question, while I was confused as to why it felt like two seconds ago she might litteraly try to fuck me, and now she looks like a kid in a candy store. 

"Sharks or whale, bakugou? SHARKS OR WHALES!?"

oh fuck this shit...

Timeskip* one week of y/n being totally confusing but also sexy later. 

Y/n pov 

°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°

I think I did something bad. I think I actually got them to break up. I don't wanna do that because my new friend mina explained what homewrecking was, and that isnt my goal. I just want to know if seeing his face all the time makes it less special, or if this crush is more. 

I shouldn't have gone so hard in combat training I guess..

"Whatever, its was stupid anyway"

"Yeah, uraraka, you deserve better than him, fucking dick"

The cute round-faced girl had tears bordering her eyes and was allowing everyone to comfort her in her loss. 

I felt pretty fuckibg terrible about what I had caused, I mean they were in a real relationship. If I had been dating somebody for a long time, and then some weirdo showed up and ruined it...I would hate her. 

"I cant believe he is so mean.." she clung to who I think is yaoyorozu, and cried into her chest. 

"It's not your fault, you didn't know he was all like that, it was only a week"

The creation- quilled girl spoke as she pet occhaco's hair and soothed her. Wait a fucking mintue. They only were dating for a week? The fuck?

"Hahahahahaha oh my god" I couldn't help but break out into laughter. 

This past week I came to teams with the fact that maybe her and him had something real, so I figured I'll settle for being free from hell, as opposed to trying to..I don't know. I don't even know what my plan was when I moved schools. I wanted to see him, meet him, make him angry again or something. 

However I never thought through a plan. So I suppose I would just have to enjoy the fact I can have male friends now. I started to back off, but one week, and she is crying over him burning me up a bit. What the hell?

"Y/n what the fuck!?" Ashido whispered and yelled at me. 

I turned a bit to face her, instead of the ridiculous scene in front of me. She had her brows furrowed and looked at me like I was crazy. 

"Think about it mina..they dated for one week...and she is crying because they broke up..it's like..it's like...bahahaha," i couldn't finish the thought without laughing but asido seemed to also find my humor in this situation. 

I saw how she almost laughed before catching herself and feighing seriousness. The other girls, minus occhaco and momo, had turned their attention towards us, looking wearily at our closeness. 

"Excuse me, I AM GOING TO GO TEACH Y/N SOME DECENCY" mina whispered yelled again, turning to face me with a fake angry look. I wasn't sure what was happening, because I have never been in a situation like this before. So I let out a little giggle and nodded, my face red and starting to hurt from the smile and laugh I couldn't suppress. 

Mina grabbed my arm just under my elbow, gripping it almost tight enough to hurt. She dragged me around the corner of the living room, into the hallway of yaoyorozou's house. We had all been told to rush here after school for an urgent matter.

When I first read the group texts I kinda thought it might be an orgy, so I figured I would come even though I didn't really want to. However..I showed up to this mansion to find a crying floaty-girl and a lot of food for some reason. It confused me because at my old school girls didn't really cry, or get sad, or be emotional. When they did it was usually about reason things, like a stolen diary, hair pulling during combat training, or one of the worst offences at my old school: playing pop music. 

Yeah, it's a weird thing for a ton of princesses and rich girls to care about..but I've seen girls lose eyes over playing "mad at disney '' in the dorms when we all know it is pretty much a sin.

Mina pushed me back against the wall of the hallway, and I would be aroused if now for the fact that she backed away and crouched over herself in laughter. 

"I-pfft I don't baha know why but bahahaj you are so right"

I didn't even become surprised by her action, I just laughed with her letting myself slide down the wall. 

"If you hadn't asked pfft bakugou that question, they would probably still be dating!" She was fucking wheezing and an idea came to my mind.

"Hey, ashido, you think if they made it to two weeks they could have scheduled a time to bahah hug in the halls"

"Y/n pfft, I think that's more of a ....3 three week anniversary thing"

We were both in fetal positions in momos big velvet- themed hallway laughing our asses off. We had no idea how the guys were reacting to this strange break up, but if a girl hated me for one of my key personality traits I'd be pretty set on..not dating them either. Good for you boom boom. Pftt ``y-you think someday we can -maybe um..mk-kiss in the mo-mouth"

"Omg your too much bahahaha"

3rd person pov

Meanwhile bakugou, kaminari, kirishima and sero were sitting in separate places around kaminari's room, not minding the huge fight between their friend and y/n...and occhaco for some reason earlier. 

"I don't get it, why did you hit her after she already beat you bakugou..like y/n was so cool and I get you dont like to lose but that royal quirk thing was many as shit and you ruined the vibe"

"Tch, whatever, she is just a weirdo bitch"

"You know that's not true dude...she actually pretty hot"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP DUNCE FACE, YOU WANNA ME TO TREAT YOU LIKE MINETA" 

"Jeez, just being honest. We all know you like it when girls can fight...i mean it's like the only reason you went out with uraraka anyway."

"THAT FUCKING ROUND FACE! WHO IS SHE TO CALL ME TOO FUCKING SCARY." 

"I mean, you kinda were, but she a bit overreacting, sure"

"Shut up sero, if she is scared, she is allowed to be scared. Its not manly to shame her"

"I know kiri, but like, if you are gonna date bakugou, shouldn't you be someone who doesn't cry when he is mean. Cuz like he is mean all the time."

"I guess..I kinda imagined she would try to calm him down but she kinda just made us all feel guilty, huh"

"YEAH CUZ SHE IS A WHIMPY BITCH"

"Shut up, this isn't about you bakugou"

"THE HELL IT ISN'T"

"Hey guys, don't you think it's kinda weird that we are in a like...serious conversation, but we are all on our phones not looking at each other," Sero pitched in, still not taking his eyes off of his phone screen where he was playing clash of clans. 

He was right, the four boys were in opposite corners of the room occupying themselves with different social media. 

"No" kaminari replied as he scrolled through his phone, not actually doing anything on it

"Not really" kirishima added in, as he was searching instagram, looking for y/ns account because he had developed a curiosity to what she looked like out of uniform. 

He had only got a glimpse of her casual clothing on the first day, not enough to even process, and for some reason when you trained you hadn't had a hero suit either. It seemed you would just wear a tank top and sweats during hero training in your first week. 

Unbeknownst to him, you hadn't had one to wear in the first place. Most of your planning for life revolved around being lazy and not needing to do any work. So, unlike the students here, you had not planned or sketched any type of hero suit. You were however working on a pretty simple one that just allowed you to be comfortable while you worked, but mom definitely was going to um...do something about that. 

"its fucking normal tape arms, everyone does this shit" bakugou spoke kinda quietly. He was just hoping no one would look up and come see that he had actually succeeded in getting your instagram. He was finding out... a lot of new things. For one, he definitely wasn't seeing your casual everyday attire. 

His thoughts were a mess, he figured, unlike kirishima, that he would use your first and last name. While his friend used y/n kayama, your well known mother's last name. He had first went on the Internet and found that you scared the last name of a king, and he knew that your quirk was royal from what you explained during your battle with him.

The outfit you wore on the first day had him in for it. As that style was exactly his type, his eyes lingered too long. However seeing you as a ballerina and a fucking princess gave him a weird feeling. He didn't know what it was, but he hated it. He hated you, and your pretty posture and cool style and your fucking princess shit. He even hated the irony in how he called you a princess for even getting into U.A. However, if you were truly the princess of the elementus quirk family...he was going to have bigger problems than your stupid questions in class. . . .

[stvrmwitch]

Questions Tag!

Thanks to @the-fandom-potato, @onepage-atatime, @howlsmovinglibrary​, and @twobrokegirlswithbooks for tagging me way back in the ice age. I’m finally dethawed and ready to do this!

So to make this simpler (or perhaps more complicated  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  time will tell), I’m changing up the format. 

I’m going to now tag a bunch of people, and instead of me creating 11 new questions in four separate posts, you pick 11 from this list to answer. Under the cut I’ll be answering them all, so woof if you’re scrolling through my blog on mobile!

Tagging: @phoebzreadz, @pugs-n-books, @books-on-the-brain​, @thebookrose​, @cinnasbooks​, @potionsandplants​, @theboookowl​, @quillbit-reads​, @bookswithmichelle, @ravenclawlovestyrells, @veinslikefeathers, @thehungrylittlebookworm, @bookspectre, @heretherebebooks, @the-knights-who-say-book, @devilsmoonlightstroll, @sonderreads, @arkynn, @mermaidchasingbooks

I tried to mix in some new (and new-ish) followers, so hey y’all! If you’re tagged and not interested, no worries! If you’re not tagged and are interested, have at it friends!

Actual rules: always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, write 11 questions of your own, tag 11 people

Not entirely sure why but I alphabetized these but...

A book with a beautiful cover?

When Dimple Met Rishi -that cover makes my day whenever I see it!

A book you would love to see transformed into movie?

Hmmm. So many options. The one I’m obsessed most with at the moment is Ramona Blue. It’d make the perfect summer indie flick. All you need is a cast of young unknown actors because it’s a quiet story in the way that no one is really meant to pull focus.

A book you’ve read in the past two weeks?

Mockingbird, Vol 1: My Feminist Agenda

A fantasy world you would like to live in?

Harry Potter is such an obvious choice, but I love it.

A magical animal you would love to own?

Mer-goshdarn-corgi.

A movie that you wish had a different ending?

Bend It. Like. Beckham. SHOULDA BEEN G A Y

A skill you wish you possessed?

Literally any skills. I’m a dud of a human.

Best book crushes?

n/a

Day or night?

Morning????

Do you have a favorite mythological person or creature?

I do not!

Do you have a most owned book? (lots of editions of the same book)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Someday it will probably be me owning every edition of “The Importance of Being Earnest” which yes is a play not a ~book~ but still counts

Do you have any favourite bands or songs?

Little Mix (and their entire catalogue) is a staple atm.

Do you prefer science fiction or fantasy? (Neither?)

Science fiction!

Favorite genre of music?

??? Pop?? Rock??? That Indie Sound™????? Showtunes??

Favorite reading place?

I read the most at work, oddly enough

Favorite stand-alone book?

We Are Okay

Favourite booklr platform?

I’m not actually sure what this means tbh

Favourite genre for Winter?

Science fiction

Favourite genre?

Science fiction

Favourite reading weather?

Dark sky, light rain

Hardbacks or paperbacks?

paperbacks

Hogwarts house?

hiss hiss motherfuckers

If you collect something, what is it?

Books and debt.

If you could dress up as any character from books or other fiction (not taking actual costume making skills into account), who would you choose to dress up as?

I’m torn between Furiosa and Willy Wonka. There’s no inbetween.

If you could have any magical power, what would it be?

Teleportation

If you could rewrite any book, how would you change it and why?

Oh sweet niblets, there’s so many frustrating books that I correct as I go. Though for the most part it’s never as bad as wanting to fully rewrite it. I absolutely feel that way about Stranger Than Fanfiction though. It had such potential and was a letdown at every level. It’s not plotted well, characterization is weak, there are shitty tropes. And at first it’s like maybe they’re being set up for the sole purpose of being subverted but nope. Just a bad book. IMO of course.

If you had the chance to become the ‘chosen one’/hero of an epic story, would you take it? (PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER vs. weight of the world on your shoulders/potential for extreme trauma).

Um, I mean no?? Like forced into it, ok. But would I go up and volunteer for that shit? Hell no. I’m so content to follow another’s lead on that. Like I’ll be ur sidekick character!!!

If you had to only read one author, who would it be?

Based solely on Strange the Dreamer, I’d say Laini Taylor. STrange is not nearly gay enough (is anything really??) but she’s got a great feel for character and pace.

If you play games (video, board, etc.), what’s your favorite one?

I still play the Sims when I’m in a Big Depressive Mood, and Tomb Raider is life to me. So those are my favorite two, though I don’t play a lot anyhow.

Least favourite book trope?

Young girls falling for their crusty ass male professors.

Recent favourite book/series?

When Dimple Met Rishi was a perfect summer read (though I still actually have like 50 pages to go rip me)

Tea or coffee?

#TeamHotCocoa

What character would you vote for to be president?

President of what? My fan club?? Jon Snow.

What fictional creature would you want to be your animal companion?

That little thievin’ ass platypus from Fantastic Beasts. Like we’d be villains but like. Robin Hooding it.

What is your favourite TV show/film?

Guy Ritchie at some point became my favorite director and The Man from UNCLE - tragically doomed to never get a sequel - is my fave movie. Ep for ep, Quantico is my favorite show.

What is your favourite dessert?

Fried ice cream

What is your ‘comfort food’ book, for whenever you’re ill/sad/tired etc?

Don’t quite have one. I turn to film and tv for that -usually Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

What movie is actually better than the book?

I’ve made the argument for Divergent a few times, which still stands but to change it up I’ll say Big Fish. The visual elements really capture the whimsy and wonder of that world.

Where is your favourite reading place?

As mentioned above, I like reading at work. I somehow pay more attention when I’m forced to read in intervals.

Which character/author would you make president?

This is also answered above and more seriously, I’d want Agnieszka from Uprooted in that kind of leadership role, because her concern with power is non-existent but she acts out of desire to protect all people. Plus she’s not here for your bullshit.

Which decade interests you the most?

Depends on what for really. 90s nostalgia because that’s when I grew up. 50s for fashion because what a damn look all the damn time. Um idk I like the music that came out of the 70s, but not much more than any later decade. All around, the current decade interests me the most because I have the most human rights within it. So there’s that.

Who is your favorite author?

Neil Gaiman maybe?? I’m bad at choosing one favorite thing.

Would you rather compete in The Hunger Games or The TriWizard Tournament?

Uh my pal I’m gonna go with the one where everyone is supposed* to come out alive on the other side.

*rip ceddie

You walk through a wardrobe, and you find yourself in a completely other world on the other side. Which world would you want to be in?

Wlw utopia. Nothing but wlw and smol animals. If you mean a pre-established fictional world, then let’s go with San Junipero. Like I wanna be where the immortal wlw are! I wanna see, wanna see them dancing!!!