#they go to therapy but don't talk to their therapist about stuff and theyre on an insanely low dose of anxiety meds and wont get it raised

[grymmdark]

i know someone who has severe anxiety which causes the things they get anxious about to happen.

like they're so anxious about getting good grades that they second guess everything they do and are a perfectionist, meaning they give the wrong answers and dont get their work done.

they're a such an over-the-top apologetic people pleaser that most people dislike them because they get so frustrated with how much they apologize for literally everything and try to justify their every action.

it'd be funny if it wasnt incredibly messed up how much of a self-causing problem their anxiety is

[multiplicity-positivity]

[content warning: suicide] hi. you don't have to write a whole thing for this if it would be harmful to you obviously, but we've been trying to find some advice for this and don't really know where 2 look. we have at least 3 headmates who, like, their Role Thing seems 2 have become Being Suicidal. they have personalities under this but their sui thoughts overwhelm it. all they talk about is sui. all they seem to think about is sui. we want 2 support them but its v scary when someone just turns everything u say into how they can use it to commit sui. theyre not in danger of doing this 2 the body, but its still really upsetting and we want them 2 be ok. its overwhelming and we dont know how to begin to help them. if u/ur followers have any thoughts on this it would mean a lot. ty

Yipes, this post got long and heavy. It’s under a cut…

Woof, yeah, we really relate to y’all here… we feel you and we understand your struggles. I am actually one of the parts in my system who struggles with suicidal ideation the most. I have been pulled from the front and blocked off from the rest of my system in the past because of my struggles with feeling suicidal almost constantly. I’m still learning, healing, and trying to change. It’s a process. But I do think I’m in a better place now than I was, say, two or three years ago.

So yeah, um, idk how much anything I could say might help… but here’s some stuff that helped me find at least a little more hope in life.

First, it really helped me and deeply affected me when my headmates could be real with me about how my thoughts, words, and actions were affecting them. I felt hurt and moved when they started saying things like “I value life and I value your life. It hurts my feelings and makes me distressed and upset when you bring up suicide all the time.” Or “When you talk about suicide so much it makes the rest of us nervous and uneasy. The littles don’t want to be around you as much because your nonstop resorting to suicide as a solution seriously frightens them.” Idk but for me, having these gentle, yet stern, reminders from my headmates whenever I was bringing them down helped me to start noticing when I was doing it. It can be a hard realization to have that your own thoughts and feelings can have such drastic effects on your loved ones… both inside and outside your system.

Next, having a place where I can talk about suicide or whatever has been bringing me down as much as I want also helps. I really miss therapy because I was able to just vent and cry and be vulnerable with my therapist, and he listened without judgement and without trying to force me to act in one way or another. I also have my own private journal separate from the rest of my headmates. I vent there a lot and make dark art, talk about suicide and what it really would mean for myself, my system, and my loved ones. Usually after I’ve had a chance to scrawl out everything I’m feeling, it helps me feel a bit better and a little less suicidal.

Also, getting reminders of things that I actually do enjoy has helped immensely. Yeah, I’m a suicidal part, but I also like ice cream and dandelions and music. So whenever I start spiraling and getting in a super suicidal headspace, the parts who front with me or interact with me have been encouraging me to go breathe outside for a while, or eat a tasty treat, or listen to some music that I adore. One of the littles in my system drew me a picture of a dandelion lion lol. If you know anything at all that your suicidal headmates enjoy, maybe try connecting them with those things when they’re at their worst. Make some art for them, surprise them with something small and joyous, and do little things to show them that you care about them, you value their presence in your life, and you want them to be able to find joy, even if it’s just in the little moments.

Over time, for me, those little things have built up. At my therapist’s request, I’ve started keeping a list of things I like. The more I think about it, the longer the list grows. This list of things I enjoy… that’s my list of reasons to live. It’s got stuff on it like my partner system, cookies and milk, beautiful sunsets, swimming, and things like that. Maybe you can encourage your headmates to each start lists of their own. Even if they don’t have anything they think they can add right now, at least they’ll have the space for it. And then in the future, whenever their spirits are lifted, even if it’s fleeting, they can begin to start noticing that there are things in the world that can bring them happiness.

It’s definitely a process. I still get suicidal from time to time. But I do really think that these things have helped me reach a better place. And maybe something here could be useful for your system when it comes to connecting with your suicidal headmates. We really do feel for you, and I honestly do know what it’s like to be hopeless and lost, feeling worthless all the time and like suicide was the only answer. But it’s not. And I know you know that… but hopefully your headmates can start to recognize that in the future.

One last thing - staying alive for someone else is totally valid! Staying alive for your favorite show or characters is valid! Staying alive for treats and snacks is valid! Staying alive because the alternative will hurt someone you care about is valid! One day at a time, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Y’all will make it to a place where your suicidal headmates are able to find joy in their life. I have full faith in that. And if you need a listening ear or any advice or if there’s anything at all we can do to help y’all through this process, please let us know. We may not be a qualified mental health professional… but please trust us when we say we are a system who understands.

I’m sorry if this post got rambly, isn’t useful, or doesn’t make much sense. Seriously though, I am wishing you all the very best, and from the bottom of my heart I do hope things will get better.

[i-need-some-advice-on]

Should I disclose to my future cardiologist that I'm trans?

I'm 24 and am supposed to have yearly cardiology appointments due to a chd. Everything's always been fine, but it's something I've had to do my whole life. Thing is, I didn't go for a few years and my old cardiologist actually retired. We're working on getting me into a new one right now because I need to go back (everything's seemingly fine though). Anyways, it's kind of been difficult to get in with a new cardiologist. I am immensely uncomfortable with these appointments bc I hate my chest, and I'm aware that there's nothing they can do about the shirtlessness but literally just being called my actual name would be reassuring in such a shitty situation bc it's one less dysphoria inducing thing to deal with. And I can deal if they just say like "no I'm not gonna use that name" or whatever, but also I don't know that I'd feel very safe if I told them and it was clear they didn't like trans people, even if they couldnt kick me out for it. Just very uncomfortable but the whole thing is already so uncomfortable so idk. But if I feel unsafe or need to switch again, that's a whole thing and I'd have to go to another one at the same place bc theyre really the only place that's an option near here but they are being very difficult to get into already and I can't imagine switching would be easy. I am not visibly trans and do not pass (in as much as i could "pass" as nonbinary. But I just mean they'd assume I was my birth gender.) And i live in a very conservative state.

I also want to talk to my general doctor about it. She's kind but I have no clue what hrr opinion on trans people is. I want to go to therapy and will need to talk to her but I don't want to be unable to talk about trans stuff in therapy and I'm debating if I should ask her if she knows any trans friendly therapists nearby. It probably couldn't hurt but I'm still nervous.

Also my pronouns are he/xe

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[zukotheartist]

Hiii :) i need a bit of help

(Ik i said i wouldnt do rant posts here but this one is also advice seeking? So we'll let it slide this time)

It's about uni and mental health and jobs, etc and just overall oversharing lmao. Feel free to skip ofc lol but if anyone has some advice/opinions to share, im all ears.

Basically, i just really don't know what to do with my life💀. I even took a gap year in between hs and uni to decide and ig it still didnt work😭.

I'm in uni studying languages (mandarin, portuguese and japanese) and the language part is going well so far, I guess? (And I do like it!). I even like a few of the other subjects (some of them i only have them for 1 semester so theyre not major subjects) but i really just cant handle it???

I wasn't happy with my choice in the sense that I think my job prospects after uni won't be great but I knew I wouldn't be able to handle anything else (im terrible at stem and most high-paying jobs require it lol + i have depressive episodes 24/7💀 and im pretty sure i have adhd*). But even picking smth i like and am not terrible at (not great at either but at least it's not math lol) im not able to handle it???

I was trying really hard at first, i didn't want to fuck this up, but the rhythm needed is just... way too much for someone who stuggled all throughout hs and has shit mental health.

I managed to work hard for a bit (studying everyday after class, doing 8hr study sessions during the weekend, revising quickly while waiting in line, etc) but then i let loose (or even went full days/weeks with minimal amount of studying) bc it was so overwhelming and now im cramming like 2/3 months worth of 3 different subjects and my exams are in Jan/Feb (the first available dates on the 10th) and ill be lucky to pass a single one of them with the speed im going at.

Even on days i get up early to study and barely even look at my phone, it's just too much stuff and im not fast enough + i lack a lot of things bc of my slacking off in hs.

I go to uni in Italy and if you fall behind u have to pay more but ig it's better than putting all this effort and most of all money to then just drop out and be left degreeless?

But I feel so freaking terrible bc i literally dont even work part-time or anything and i still live with my parents and theyre the ones paying for all of my stuff basically? So to add a higher cost bc i couldnt keep up with uni🥲 but then, if i take a part-time job, ill be making some money but uni will be going even worst and itll still be a waste of money???

I've talked to multiple therapists/psychiatrists, asking them even for LIGHT anxiety meds and *all* of them have refused (I also made it clear that I would still go to therapy even if I got meds but nothing).

Studying calms me down a bit but even tho ive started doing it daily again and for hours on end, im still akskdkdkrkr

Ill talk to my family and my therapist but i honestly dont know wtf to do with my life. Ik the whole "dont cry over spilled milk" thing but i really wish i could re-do hs to not be in this fucking mess.

It doesn't really help that my only goal in life is to make a lot of money bc i think ill be alone (both romantically and platonically) forever but with the way it's going, ill be lucky to get a minimum wage one (im not saying it as a diss, those are respectable jobs too but like i said, my only goal is to make money so i can live comfortably and distract myself from my depression lmao).

This is all very specific and i doubt anyone responds (let alone reads) but if anyone does read, tysm for reading this sad long rant🫂🫂🫂. I pretty much wont be able to see my therapist until just a bit before my exams so this was also my way to let out some frustration.

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*Ive tried to get an official diagnosis, and it's fine if im wrong ofc, but i was immediately denied and told that couldnt be it... bc of my age lmao💀

[violentviolette]

hey, dunno how comprehensible this will be, but i've suspected for a long while now that i fit a whole lot of symptoms for npd. the thing is i have no idea if i'm just faking it or exaggerating what i do have to make my mental health as Interesting as i've decided it is if that makes sense. and i don't know how i'd get a definitive answer without approaching a medical professional and idk how the fuck i'd go about that or whether that would even be a good idea with a disorder like this [1/2]

[2/2] you seem pretty chill, and pretty wise about this shit, and i've followed you for a while so thought i'd ask if you have any tips or ideas or just anything that can shed light on the situation cause it's been weighing on my mind for so long that i feel like i gotta do SOMETHING to get me to move on

so first things first, if ur having symptoms to the point that they are disrupting ur life enough that uve begun to look into these things, than reguardless of what it gets labeled, ur clearly struggling with something and therefore not faking or making it up. even when people are initially wrong about what disorder they might have, they're always right about having something. mentally stable and healthy people don't fake mental illnesses. so I can say with a lot of certainty that ur not just faking or exaggerating, even if it turns out u don't have npd.

my personal advice is that since cluster b disorders are in part rooted in trauma, healing from that is never a bad place to start. id argue u can't manage a cluster b pd effectively long term without ever working through that trauma. things like dialectical behavioral therapy (dbt) and other trauma based programs are extremely helpful for this.

here are some links to the two basic/standard dbt workbooks for free download. they're a great place to start and an excellent way to start breaking down the disordered thought processes that guide our pds

https://b-ok.cc/book/2746487/b75746

https://b-ok.cc/book/2476018/68bc0f

this website also has tons of other free books for download that I highly recommend such as

adult children of emotionally immature parents: how to heal from distant, rejecting, or self involved parents

https://b-ok.cc/book/2739029/90a647

why does he do that? inside the minds of angry and controlling men

https://b-ok.cc/book/4512237/eb9bec

those last two seem like they'd be really unrelated but honestly I think theyre super helpful for npd.

as narcs our core issue is that we can't self validate. our sense of value and validation is completely externally generated through other peoples reactions to and opinions of us. the first book does a really good job of teaching u how to do those things and be able to validate urself and create that worth internally when u cant or aren't receiving it externally.

the second book does an excellent job of breaking down the disordered thought processes behind abusive actions. as narcs we have a very difficult time with interpersonal relationships because we struggle with understanding what healthy boundaries and a non self centered view even looks like, which can lead us to perpetuating abusive patterns of behavior even when we don't intend to. this book not only illustrates those patterns but breaks down why we do those actions. where that anger and entitlement and selfishness comes from and how it manifests so that we can recognize that disordered behavior and correct it. (when I say we I don't mean all narcs btw not everyone w npd has problems with anger but I definitely did)

I know thats a lot of reading but honestly ur options for recovery are therapy or a shit ton of reading lol

therapists have done all this reading for u and then package it down for u to be given during relevant moments and helping u relate these concepts to ur life. which is definitely very helpful and even if u dont seek an npd diagnosis just having a therapist to talk to and work these things out with is tremendously helpful

but I understand therapy isn't always an option for people for a variety of reasons and at the end of the day therapists are just people with knowledge and u can absolutely aquire that knowledge for urself if u are dedicated and committed to it.

sorry this got a bit long but hopefully u find some of this stuff as helpful as I did

[indigopurple]

Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig

Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.

During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(

"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.

When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!

Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.

This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.

"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.

Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.

"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.

I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.

Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.

Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries

Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.

Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.

Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot

[badfey]

I have a friend with an eating disorder and you seem to know a lot about it. and i don't know anything! so i'm wondering • how do you know so much, do you or a friend have one? • how can i support and help my friend through it. (he also has anxiety and depression so if you have any tips on them you could chuck them in) i know your not a professional but i want to know your personal tips on how you would (or currently do idk) support a friend thank you :))

hi, i myself have been through minor eating problems, but luckily its never spiralled or become a disorder of its own. most of the people im closest to have had EDs, so i do know a lot about supporting them through it. this message is kinda more tailored to EDs, but if u want more advice on the other stuff just shoot another ask bc i have a lot of experience w that too 

 i’ll preface this by saying that just as every person is unique, so will be their relation with their disorder. here are some ways you can help [under the cut because this got long] 

TW: eating disorders, food, self harm, mental illness

getting help: 

if your friend has an eating disorder, they need help. EDs are practically impossible to overcome on your own, and the longer someone goes without treatment, the harder it is to recover. without help, EDs have a very low survival rate 

 if theyre already getting help for anxiety/depression, they should tell the therapist and get help that way. 

 if theyre on a waiting list (or not receiving any help at all) they should tell their gp, and bc of the seriousness of EDs they will be seen faster 

 if theyre not ready to get treatment, you gotta gently but persistently encourage them to get professional help. in some situations, u might have to tell someone on their behalf, but i would say to avoid that or at least do it with open communication so they can still trust u after. denial is a Huge part of EDs, so u have to help them push past that 

 when they first start getting ed help, it will feel like therapists and doctors suddenly dont care about their mental well-being as long as theyre eating. if this is the case, they need to tell their therapist. hopefully their therapist listens, but if not then it could be an idea to carry on ed treatment w them, and see a different person abt the rest 

 recovery only really makes a difference when u stop fighting it. when u stop doing exercises in ur room, when u stop secretly tracking calories, when u stop only pretending to follow your therapy plan 

 supporting them 

 theyre gonna need u as a friend a lot in this time. if you can be someone they can depend on, thats the best thing. however, dont put their needs before ur own: u are just as important too 

talk to them ! like when uve got depression, its easy to want to isolate urself. let me tell u, that gets u nowhere except miserable. just keep talking to them and stuff. sometimes its really important to be able to vent and talk out the big issues. other times its better to talk about light and unimportant things. i think this is the most important one 

validate their struggles. this is v important because even tho u want to show them how life does get better, theyre going through genuine hell right now, so just pointing out that it gets better feels like ur ignoring how bad they have it 

lead by example. do u struggle w body image? ya me too, but im working on it. work on it openly: promoting self love will help u both tremendously 

here is a v good list of things to avoid 

remember tht recovery is long hard and painful, but completely necessary. at the start of getting help, coping becomes really hard bc control gets taken away, and it seems like their entire life starts to revolve around food. it gets easier with time 

recovery blogs r ur best friend!!!!!!!!! for both of u. they offer support and advice and constant insight into how u can be there for ppl, or urself. block thinspo blogs. they can rot.  here are some good recovery blogs

 find out what they like and dislike. and triggers. if they dont like people commenting on what they eat, always move the subject away from that if others start to talk. same w anything that makes them uncomfortable 

encourage recovery. they will probably be constantly cold weak miserable and irrationally guilty, but recovery can change that. sometimes its important to remember just how bad being ill feels in order to keep choosing recovery (same goes for any mental illness)

 things to remember (important for everyone to know, not just those supporting people) 

 an eating disorder is a mental illness, not a body type. any person of any shape can have an ED, they dont have to look a certain way for their struggles to be valid 

 an ED is a mental illness that affects the persons relationship w food. this means there are many different eating disorders, and none of them are more valid than another. not everyone restricts, not everyone purges, not everyone binges 

some people develop food issues as a form of control: when everything else in your life is beyond you, its one thing people can control. until it begins to control them. this is why giving up control to start recovery can be so hard 

for some people it’s body image issues. for some people its control (as said above). for some people its a way to self harm. for lots of people its any combination of the above 

 thats about all ive got right now, hopefully this is what you were after. if you dont feel confident in supporting them, keep asking people for advice. get your own chain of support (u cant support someone well unless u have people u can trust and confide in). follow recovery blogs. theyre honestly the best, and provide a better and more detailed insight than ive been able to. supporting people through things this huge is hard, and ur a good friend for trying.

 its a learning process, and youll get better at it. thats why looking for other peoples advice is so important: it helps u improve. the first time i tried to help someone through an ED, i was 14 and with problems of my own, so i wasnt a good support at all, and i had no idea what to do. you’ll be better than i was (already seeking experienced advice shows this), and as long as you care youll be fine. your friend will be okay too, in time 

[harryisntstraight]

Medication anon is back- I was just wondering what made you want to take them (that you feel like death can't come soon enough is given but why that over anything else? assuming you don't do therapy too, idk?) and if you can feel any change at all? I'm terrified of giving it a go because I feel like I'm making up the shit in my head despite the fact that I would literally rather drill a hole through my brain than participate in society so I don't deserve to try but also, 1

I’m afraid that it’ll cause some weird ass reactions and take a while to settle which would impede my ability to take exams in a couple of months? (As though I’m in any state to take them now, lmao) Am I just crazy? So yeah, I feel like I’m making things up so maybe I should just suck it and make Lifestyle Changes but also… I’m glued to my bed so idk. I’m sorry I’m rambling, it doesn’t make much sense but I’m just a messy ball of hyper/ sad feelz and I want the world to stop so I can get off 

hiiii! tbh a lot of what youre saying i can really relate to. i spent a loooong time thinking i was faking or being overdramatic or just lazy and just trying to cope by myself and pretend that it wasnt really happening. as for deciding to take medication its kind of a long story, i first starting going to therapy when i was 18 because my mum kind of picked up that something wasnt right and that i needed help and booked me a doctors appointment where they offered me medication but i didnt want to take it basically for all the reasons you’ve explained in this ask. so eventually my mum decided to pay for me to get private therapy bc the waiting list to get it on the nhs was a year and a half long. so i went to therapy for like ?? 3 or 4 months before i moved to london for uni and then i stopped going bc i couldnt afford to pay for it anymore and i was like. u know what. i’m fine!!! i dont need therapy!! i’m an adult!! (spoiler: i was not fine) long story short a couple months ago i decided that i was really struggling and that i needed to see a doctor and get my shit together and i was honestly really up for taking medication seeing as therapy alone honestly just didn’t feel it had helped me at all. like to me my illness is so physical? so even though i had learnt all these coping mechanisms at therapy i just felt like my brain was physically incapable of performing them. like idk the only way i can explain it is that its like i had a broken leg and my therapist was telling me i needed to get from a to b but nobody had given me crutches or a wheelchair.

 but anyway YEAH this is such a ramble but i just felt like therapy alone wasnt enough and that i needed a physical aid, which i guess i saw as medication. my doctor has me on a waiting list to start therapy again and my first session is next week and i think pretty much any doctor will recommend that if ur going to take medication, that you do therapy as well so you can tackle ur symptoms from all angles. honestly i feel like theres such a stigma around taking medication for mental health issues that really shouldnt be there, in my experience its nowhere near as scary or life altering as people assume that it is. obviously it depends on what specific medication u take, but most antidepressants take 6 weeks minimum to have a proper affect, so its not like u take one and theres this huge reaction and u become a different person or an emotionless zombie, yknow? for me i did have some initial side effects, but they were pretty minor. stuff like feeling a bit sick, a bit jittery, and ironically having heightened anxiety. but that all went away after a week maximum. 

i think medication is different for everyone and although not everyone will benefit from it, i feel like if you think its a possibility for you, you should definitely ask your doctor about it and decide together whether its a good choice or not. they can start you out on a low dosage and if you have bad side effects or just change your mind about taking it then your doctor can help u to come off it safely. like, i have weekly doctors appointments to talk about my progress and my meds, its not like they just give u some tablets and throw you in at the deep end yknow? honestly, theres no shame in taking meds and mental health is just as important as physical health and everyone deserves a chance to get better and not suffer in silence and just ‘suck it up.’ meds are there to help you, theyre arent this yknow, super scary pill thats gonna turn u crazier than you already feel. from what youve said i’d really advise you to just make an appointment with ur doctor and tell them how ur feeling and that youve thought about medication and see where it goes from there. sorry this is so long and rambly omg but like.. i care a lot asjfhsdhf. i hope this helped a lil bit and feel free to ask if ur curious about anything else xxx